This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 16, 2022


E380 Belated Valentine's


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 18 minutes

Words per Minute

146.2801

Word Count

11,514

Sentence Count

1,188

Misogynist Sentences

74

Hate Speech Sentences

40


Summary

When the doorbell rings, it could be anything. It could be your real dad, your real sister, a pedophile, your spouse, a stranger, your friends, your significant other, a complete stranger. Who knows what could be waiting on the other side of the door?


Transcript

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00:00:14.660 Good to be here. Happy Valentine's Day to you and to yours.
00:00:22.220 I'm thinking about my buddy today, little Bobby Lee. Beautiful little guy.
00:00:27.100 You know, he's really, he's a, he's Polynesian.
00:00:33.780 He's a little crustacean. He's a little cigarette koala.
00:00:38.420 And, oh dude, he would, he would breastfeed off a damn, he'd breastfeed off a damn nicotine camel.
00:00:49.820 And I'm not talking about the actual cigarette, I'm talking about the animal.
00:00:53.340 He'd suck the tit of a damn nicotine desert horse.
00:00:57.840 A camel.
00:01:00.020 Thinking about him.
00:01:05.520 What's going on, dude?
00:01:06.660 Oh, you know what I was thinking about?
00:01:10.840 The doorbell.
00:01:13.940 Remember when you were young, man?
00:01:16.640 You'd be at home. You'd be living your life.
00:01:19.540 You know, maybe fighting with your sister.
00:01:21.640 You know, or, you know, packing up stuff to leave home.
00:01:24.600 You were going to run away from home.
00:01:26.940 Or maybe you were playing cards or doing something.
00:01:30.240 You know, having a, you know, splitting up a caramel or something with your cousin.
00:01:34.700 And the doorbell would ring.
00:01:41.160 When the doorbell rang, everything changed.
00:01:48.120 Everything.
00:01:48.760 The world stopped when the doorbell rang.
00:02:00.360 Because you, it could be anything.
00:02:04.200 It could be father time.
00:02:06.220 It could be the postman.
00:02:09.020 It could be somebody wants something.
00:02:11.140 Somebody's here.
00:02:12.160 The world came.
00:02:13.480 Something in the world had stopped on your doorstep.
00:02:16.820 And press that button.
00:02:20.360 Hit that all call.
00:02:23.480 And you saw everybody in the family.
00:02:26.100 Even the dog.
00:02:28.520 Even if you didn't have a dog.
00:02:30.480 A dog would show up and.
00:02:34.060 Just hear the doorbell.
00:02:36.800 You quit fighting.
00:02:37.860 You could be killing.
00:02:38.600 You could be killing your spouse.
00:02:41.080 And you'd put down the knife.
00:02:43.900 And say, let me see who's here.
00:02:47.260 Man, I'm at that.
00:02:48.340 I just, the doorbell changed everything.
00:02:50.800 When you, it was.
00:02:52.060 No.
00:02:53.640 Who is that?
00:02:56.860 It could be a package.
00:02:58.240 It could be somebody sending you something.
00:03:00.200 You, oh, you, what is it?
00:03:02.180 It could be somebody wants to come play.
00:03:04.220 You know, hey, can Ernie come play?
00:03:07.800 Ernie don't live.
00:03:08.700 Who's Ernie?
00:03:10.100 We don't have an Ernie.
00:03:13.520 It could be, it could be anybody.
00:03:17.700 When the door, it could be God.
00:03:20.680 It could be your real dad.
00:03:24.620 It could be, we had a pedophile, dude.
00:03:28.340 He'd come and he's the nicest guy.
00:03:30.360 Nicest pedophile.
00:03:32.280 You know.
00:03:33.000 Hey, you want to come?
00:03:34.700 We're doing a kickball league.
00:03:37.200 Any that, you know, he'd be putting lotion on his legs and stuff like that.
00:03:40.720 We ain't got no league, bro.
00:03:42.720 You a pedophile, dog.
00:03:44.460 You know.
00:03:45.080 But no thanks.
00:03:46.300 But thanks for stopping by.
00:03:48.320 You were still happy somebody came by.
00:03:50.280 It was just like a game show.
00:03:53.480 It was like, let's, the, any, let's see what's behind door number one.
00:03:58.560 You heard the buzzer.
00:03:59.420 Let's see what's behind door number one.
00:04:01.680 And it could be anything, man.
00:04:04.720 I just, I missed that.
00:04:08.120 I missed that.
00:04:10.560 I just missed the novelty of it.
00:04:12.800 Just like, oh.
00:04:14.340 Because people don't do the doorbells as much anymore.
00:04:17.260 People have a ring camera.
00:04:18.680 People have fake dog bark.
00:04:21.240 Somebody get a fake Doberman.
00:04:24.160 And sometimes the battery, like.
00:04:26.620 Bark, bark.
00:04:28.220 Bark, bark.
00:04:29.620 You hear that.
00:04:30.320 That, first of all, that Doberman sounds like he, you know.
00:04:35.960 He prefer, you know, he definitely.
00:04:41.240 That Doberman sounds like he eats his steak with a damn little knife and a little fork.
00:04:45.160 He sounds a little French.
00:04:46.960 If you're being real honest, bro.
00:04:50.140 But remember that fake Doberman to scare people off?
00:04:53.680 And then we had a neighbor, the batteries got low on their fake Doberman.
00:04:57.720 And it would be like.
00:04:58.340 It sounded like an old guy just trying to, who had a GI issue.
00:05:11.860 You know, he was tracked up.
00:05:14.260 You know, he'd just been K-so'd out, bro.
00:05:16.460 And he just could, his body couldn't handle it.
00:05:18.660 And he couldn't pass bottom.
00:05:20.220 He couldn't pass nothing out of his bottom.
00:05:21.740 Because you had that low battery fucking Doberman in there.
00:05:29.560 Anyway, I just missed the doorbell.
00:05:31.480 Ding dong.
00:05:33.480 And anything.
00:05:34.780 Just anything could happen.
00:05:37.860 When the doorbell hit, boy.
00:05:40.540 And who is that?
00:05:42.700 What's going on?
00:05:43.320 People would run.
00:05:43.960 And I would have to stand on a chair and look out the peephole.
00:05:49.760 And my sister would just put her eye up to the low part of the door and just try and look through the wood.
00:05:57.260 Just like, just, you know.
00:05:58.860 I'd be up here and she would just, just pretend.
00:06:02.100 I don't know what the hell she was doing.
00:06:03.980 You know, just being mystical or whatever.
00:06:05.920 But, anyway, I missed, I just missed that, God, that beautiful chime.
00:06:12.200 That, just, damn, boy.
00:06:14.320 Just the, the Lord's frickin' B-flat.
00:06:17.580 And everybody came to the, who is that?
00:06:22.320 It could be, maybe it's our real dad.
00:06:26.560 Our brother used to all, maybe it's our real dad.
00:06:30.400 Our brother used to yell that shit.
00:06:33.640 You know, and we would, some, we, I remember one time,
00:06:36.280 we all drew pictures of what we thought our real dad looked like.
00:06:40.160 You know?
00:06:41.900 Just because, you know, at some point everybody wants that, you know,
00:06:44.720 they want their real dad to come.
00:06:47.300 Even if they are, even if they have their real dad,
00:06:49.300 they want that trade-in.
00:06:51.000 You know, they want that upgrade.
00:06:53.560 Like they do at Enterprise Rentals, baby.
00:06:55.520 They want that Dodge Neon or better.
00:06:58.300 You know, when it comes, they want that Dad Neon or better.
00:07:03.760 Gang, baby, good to see you guys.
00:07:05.140 Happy Valentine's Day to you.
00:07:07.280 I hope you love yourself.
00:07:09.380 And, and then I hope you can love somebody else, man.
00:07:13.260 That's important.
00:07:14.060 And, and yeah, I went to the Super Bowl.
00:07:22.460 I'm going to tell you all about it in just a second.
00:07:24.060 Let's get right into it.
00:07:24.920 Here, this is a tune that I love right here.
00:07:27.580 This is North Mississippi All-Stars,
00:07:29.920 Drunk Outdoors.
00:07:37.640 Let me holler at you, come on, step outside.
00:07:41.140 You got $10 down to each other, and we gon' ride.
00:07:44.320 Let me holler at you, step outside.
00:07:48.500 Bumpin' the drunk out the trunk.
00:07:51.640 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
00:07:54.540 Ready to better dance floors.
00:07:56.540 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
00:07:59.600 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
00:08:04.680 Now we're cookin' with gas on the front burner.
00:08:08.440 Hot wind gas station down on the corner.
00:08:11.680 Cookin' with gas on the front burner.
00:08:14.320 Go get drunk outdoors.
00:08:18.380 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
00:08:21.820 Ready to better dance floors.
00:08:25.020 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
00:08:27.100 Come on, here we go.
00:08:29.200 If you got money, you can get a little beer.
00:08:32.380 If you got money, get that hit up.
00:08:35.780 If you got money, you can get a little beer.
00:08:38.900 If you got money, get that hit up.
00:08:41.960 Right there, baby.
00:08:51.440 That is North Mississippi All-Stars, and that is Drunk Outdoors.
00:08:57.980 Let me see where they're touring right now so I can let you know.
00:09:01.160 I know they're supposed to be up in Bend, Oregon soon.
00:09:06.760 Up there, I saw.
00:09:07.780 But North Mississippi All-Stars, okay, right here they're going to be in Florida on April 9th, Utah on April 23rd, and then in New Orleans May 1st.
00:09:23.400 They've got some different shows coming up.
00:09:25.280 You can check them out, nmallstars.com slash tour.
00:09:29.900 Beautiful crew.
00:09:32.420 And beautiful music, man.
00:09:34.420 People love them.
00:09:36.120 And I love them.
00:09:38.260 What's going on, baby?
00:09:39.680 Hope you're good.
00:09:40.380 Hope you're good, daddy.
00:09:41.400 What's cracking over here?
00:09:44.520 Not much got up this morning and went for a run, you know?
00:09:48.160 Pretty cool.
00:09:51.740 Dude, is it just me or does everybody in every commercial now have just, you know, they got a one-legged person in it?
00:09:59.600 You know what I'm, like, I feel like every commercial recently, they really, they trying to wrangle in, I guess, they're catering to, I just, they got a lot of people that's, they missing, you know, they down a leg or whatever.
00:10:17.860 I feel like every commercial, I turn around like, damn, they missed that kid missing a leg, the mother, you know?
00:10:27.360 Maybe it's just something I'm noticing.
00:10:28.980 It's just like, damn, they got to, this country, we got to start getting legs for people, bro, overall.
00:10:35.420 Well, you know, when I grew up, people had, you know, most people had two legs on them.
00:10:42.440 And now, I guess according to advertising, they trying to, you know, they, I guess they don't.
00:10:48.740 But, so, anyway, yeah, but yeah, I went to the Super Bowl, bro, and it was, I got it, so this whole experience, this was crazy.
00:10:58.920 So, here's what happened.
00:11:01.620 So, Todd Graves came on the podcast a while back, a few months back, and he's the Canes Chicken Man.
00:11:09.440 And this fella, damn, he'll take a chicken and shape it into just a damn little, it looked like a little, like a little isthmus of chicken, the way he does it.
00:11:22.520 And we'll put one on the screen here, so you can see, he make like a little, it almost looks like a little, let me look at famous islands, island shapes.
00:11:33.300 Yes, he make a famous island shape, it kind of looks like, let me find one here.
00:11:41.240 I guess this one is pretty good.
00:11:44.100 He make a chicken looks like a Mamatik Island.
00:11:53.080 He makes a chicken look like a Mamatik Island, or Molokini in Hawaii.
00:11:57.500 He got a real, they make a chicken, it's not a nugget.
00:12:01.140 But, it's like a Nugget's daddy, if a Nugget's granddaddy showed up, you were like, damn, his granddaddy's here.
00:12:08.780 That's what the Canes Chicken Finger looks like, it's just like a little, it looks like a damn somebody grill, deep fried a harmonica kind of.
00:12:18.860 That's what it is, baby, you put your lips up to that thing, man, God, you could hear your freaking, you could hear your stomach just play a damn hymn off that bitch.
00:12:28.660 I bet if you blew into a damn chicken finger, that one of them Canes Chicken Finger, that bitch, man, you play, ooh, I bet a damn unicorn will run up if they hear the right note.
00:12:42.020 I just, they got a beautiful chicken anyway.
00:12:44.300 Anyway, so I get invited, my friend Cam invites me, and I show up over at Beverly Hills Hotel, I think.
00:12:54.680 And it's nice over there, this is the place where Conor McGregor, where he, you know, bought steroids or whatever, I don't know, this is, but this is, you know, he had been staying over there.
00:13:04.980 There, it's nice, they got rich people in there, I mean, it's, dude, you, if you just ran up and punched somebody in that bitch, there's a good chance that person probably would be really rich.
00:13:20.060 It's that kind of space, you know, they got somebody in there, somebody in there drops $30, they don't even pick it up, it's 90 days, they cruising.
00:13:27.560 They got places to go.
00:13:30.960 So anyway, we get there, and this is a real, I'm going to name drop, this is, I mean, it was just a wild day.
00:13:38.360 They had, I get there, Coach Orgeron is there, and a beautiful fella, if you've never seen him, he's like a damn Italian, he looks like an Italian, he kind of like, I don't know if he's Italian, is he?
00:13:53.140 Yeah, he might be, I don't know, he looked like a beautiful, some type of a dog, like an American bulldog or something, he just, and he's real grizzled up, he's got that, you know, go Tigers, you know, he has that, he's just grizzled up.
00:14:09.380 So the coach is there, that coach, Joe Burrow, in the deal, in the college championship, I walk in, there's like, Nelly is there, you know, and Nelly, I grew up, I mean, I put, dude, Nelly gave a lot of white dudes hope.
00:14:34.380 Real talk, real talk, when, a lot of white dudes knew we couldn't dance, we knew it was impossible, we knew, we suspected, I think, that God didn't want us to do it.
00:14:49.880 But, you know, you just, and then Nelly came along, and you're like, damn, bro, God wants, maybe does, God is willing to reconsider.
00:15:01.640 When Nelly hit, it just, it hit, it hit.
00:15:07.360 So you got Coach O, you got Nelly, you got Mike Thomas, probably one of my favorite players from national football.
00:15:15.300 You got, I mean, just a real, dude, I can't, there's, I don't even know where to go with this, let me think.
00:15:24.440 It was just such a crazy thing, so suddenly I'm in there, bro, and all, you know, I get nervous sometimes around a lot of celebrities, I get nervous.
00:15:31.640 So all I can see is the food, suddenly I'm just looking at the food, and I'm over there, you know, I'm picking up food and setting it back down, like a catch and release program or whatever, like they do in the nature, you know.
00:15:50.200 I'm over there, I don't know what's going on, I'm, you know, I'm looking at stuff, I'm making weird conversations, asking people, like, about the recipe or something.
00:15:58.060 I put a plate with four deviled eggs on it, and I don't even like those bitches.
00:16:01.780 So now I'm wandering around with these deviled eggs, you know, looking like a real creep, and I didn't want them, and there wasn't a lot of table area.
00:16:12.380 So I couldn't, that's what I hate if you're at a party or some type of mingling event, and you can't set down your devil, there's nowhere to set the, you know.
00:16:21.820 So you're just wandering around with these deviled eggs, you know, like you're looking for a, you know, like you, like you got Beelzebub's uterus on a little plate or something.
00:16:32.520 You're working, you know, you're working in, what's it called, gestation or something for Satan.
00:16:40.540 You're juggling gestation on that little plate, because you got them D-eggs on you, bro.
00:16:46.540 You got them little, them little hen rubies, baby, you know.
00:16:53.220 Anyway, so I don't even know who, there's just a, it's a crazy group of people that's in there.
00:16:58.300 So I, some of my friends introduced me to Mike Thomas, so I get to start talking to him, just talking about saints and stuff like that.
00:17:06.940 And then we all leave.
00:17:09.160 We get into a, like a real cavalcade, cavalcade of vehicles, like nice vehicles.
00:17:20.740 Just some shapes I've never even seen.
00:17:22.780 One of them looked like a van that, uh, it looked like a van that had like a real rich daddy.
00:17:29.920 You know what I'm talking about?
00:17:31.120 You ever see one of those?
00:17:33.140 It's like a van, but there's really no even, I mean, I guess there's windows, but it's like, it's like a Mercedes van.
00:17:40.340 And it looks like somebody's dad.
00:17:41.920 It looks like whoever fucked that van's mom had some money, you know.
00:17:46.320 Um, anyway, we get in there.
00:17:50.880 So I'm in there.
00:17:52.760 It's crazy.
00:17:53.560 One of the Jonas brothers is in there, Nick or Randall or something.
00:17:58.360 I'm not even sure, you know, um, his spouse, Odell Beckham's, uh, his spouse was in there.
00:18:07.600 Beautiful lady.
00:18:09.180 Uh, Odell Beckham Jr.'s brother is in there.
00:18:12.940 Um, my friend Cam is in there.
00:18:17.740 Um, another, uh, some lady I didn't know.
00:18:22.220 And some guy from Keeping Up with the Kardashians that had kept getting his kind of face remodeled, you know.
00:18:28.940 Um, anyway, we're in this, we're in this van and they got a police escort.
00:18:35.960 So, dude, this shit feels like, I mean, it's fancy, you know, it's crazy.
00:18:40.900 You know, I'm in there, I'm just sitting in there, enjoying myself.
00:18:45.620 Next thing you know, we get all the way up to the L, to the, to the stadium, to the SoFi Stadium.
00:18:51.700 And one thing that was rough, you could, from every angle you came in from the stadium, I didn't feel like you could see the stadium well.
00:18:58.040 There was no, like, good angle to see it.
00:19:02.960 They had so many fences up, like, trying to block COVID and shit.
00:19:06.540 You know, it's LA, so they got all of these, they got people out there with shields trying to keep COVID out and just, just ridiculous, you know.
00:19:15.920 Uh, a lot of ridiculous shit out there.
00:19:21.640 Um, and so you couldn't really see the stadium, that was weird.
00:19:26.860 Well, we got lost, our group got separated from, uh, we got separated from everybody.
00:19:34.200 We, somehow we got separated.
00:19:37.140 Because there was like a, it was probably like 60 people in our group.
00:19:41.620 And I'm leaving a ton of people out.
00:19:44.060 Oh, um, Logan was there, Mike Majelak.
00:19:47.980 Uh, Logan Paul, Mike Majelak, their producer.
00:19:54.140 Oh, Bob Minnery was there.
00:19:56.400 You know, he's a, um, voiceover guy and he's a, um, funny guy.
00:20:00.440 And he bet on the, um, game.
00:20:04.280 He bet 75 grand on, on a team that did not win.
00:20:10.900 So that was, you know, you could see him going through a lot.
00:20:15.180 He was changing colors throughout the game, like a mood ring, bro.
00:20:18.640 You could just see him, you know, adjusting to the over-under as things went.
00:20:25.680 Uh, and then I think he really, at the end,
00:20:29.900 he was really, I remember he shook my hand, he wouldn't let go.
00:20:32.440 He needed somebody.
00:20:34.000 He needed somebody to be there.
00:20:36.920 So anyway, we get, we get lost from the group and our,
00:20:39.860 our group gets separated and we get stuck on the side of the street.
00:20:43.240 So we're stuck on the side in like a neighborhood.
00:20:46.040 The other groups all went inside and we're, our, our group got separated.
00:20:50.560 I don't know what happened.
00:20:51.700 I think, um, I think something happened, you know,
00:20:57.940 maybe a strong wind hit us or something.
00:21:00.540 And we got blowed off course, you know, and next that's how the, you know,
00:21:05.020 and that's the difference between being Christopher Columbus and fricking,
00:21:08.720 you know, Randy Columbus.
00:21:12.860 Nobody's ever heard of him, bro.
00:21:14.200 But he was right there until the end of wind hit him.
00:21:16.540 And damn, next, you know,
00:21:17.940 he's lodged over there in Compton and just in a neighborhood.
00:21:20.460 And that was us, bro.
00:21:22.420 We got Randy Columbus, dude, right over off to the side.
00:21:26.040 So we kept trying to find a way into the, uh,
00:21:29.280 driving around into the stadium.
00:21:30.940 We couldn't.
00:21:31.940 And so then we just got out on foot, man.
00:21:35.760 And it was just the wildest crew, bro.
00:21:40.620 They had, um, there's some famous singers that were there.
00:21:44.640 Um, Sean Mendes, Sean Mendes was there.
00:21:51.560 And if you never seen this guy, man, he's like, uh, I didn't know who he was.
00:21:55.220 I I've heard of his name and I didn't know who he was.
00:21:59.960 Cause I don't know.
00:22:01.060 There's a lot of stuff I don't know.
00:22:03.360 And he was there and he's just a, you know, he's really,
00:22:07.600 he looks like Salvador Dali's son, bro.
00:22:10.940 You know, he just real looked like a artistic kind of like if a birch tree went to NYU,
00:22:18.860 like, uh, NYU or something, you know, he really, he just, you know, he's an artist.
00:22:25.220 And then they had, um, this guy lion, I think his name was Leon from a band.
00:22:36.580 It was, what was it?
00:22:40.500 A famous band, third three's company or something.
00:22:45.540 It was with Harry Styles and Harry Styles left them because I guess they were,
00:22:51.940 you know, he was better looking than, than the other guys, whatever.
00:22:55.100 I'm not sure who else was in it.
00:22:56.240 Like little Ringo and somebody else was in the band.
00:22:58.780 Uh, Zayn, a guy named Zayn, I think, or Zade.
00:23:04.480 And, uh, yeah.
00:23:06.940 And Harry Styles said, damn, bro.
00:23:08.920 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:09.700 Y'all ain't really showing up in the mirror like I am.
00:23:12.340 So I'm out.
00:23:13.900 And he left them.
00:23:15.320 But anyway, great guys.
00:23:18.140 Uh, anyway.
00:23:20.060 So all of us and, um, Jonas and Jonas's wife and Odell Beckham's brother, uh, and my friend Cam.
00:23:33.360 And there's this young lady.
00:23:34.900 I don't remember her name, but so suddenly we, we can't get in.
00:23:38.240 So now we just start walking around.
00:23:41.160 So we're just wandering around, walking around the stadium.
00:23:43.980 Um, just wandering around and literally like, you know, it was just crazy.
00:23:51.860 Cause these are people that would sell out stadiums and there's wandering around.
00:23:56.240 Everybody's so focused on football that nobody even notices anything.
00:24:01.240 Um, so that was just a, it was just a unique, it was just an interesting experience.
00:24:08.260 That was an interesting experience.
00:24:10.380 Uh, it was just crazy.
00:24:13.020 Kyle Gurley came in who used to play for the Rams.
00:24:18.200 I, um, oh no, Eddie Gurley.
00:24:22.160 I don't know, bro.
00:24:24.280 Dude, I, it was just like, it was just the whole, the whole environment was just nuts.
00:24:31.440 And, um, yeah, it's so crazy.
00:24:35.060 Cause it was such a ridiculous time.
00:24:36.860 But then now that I share about it, I feel like I just fucking made it boring.
00:24:44.880 Uh, but yeah, I watched the game, man.
00:24:47.700 I was so bummed for, um, I was so bummed for Cincinnati.
00:24:53.760 Cause if they win, bro, if Cincinnati wins, that does everything for Cincinnati, dude.
00:25:02.240 That they remember that forever.
00:25:07.260 People can die.
00:25:08.420 People on life support would have just signed off last night.
00:25:12.520 If Cincinnati had won, people says, sign in off.
00:25:19.380 And they'd have gone back to the, they'd have heard the Lord's doorbell.
00:25:24.920 But yeah, just not what happened.
00:25:30.980 And, uh, and the Rams, LA will forget by Wednesday, by the time you're listening to this, LA will
00:25:37.540 have forgotten that their team won the Superbowl, not the diehards.
00:25:42.520 There's definitely some diehards out there, you know, and there's a lot of Vatos out there,
00:25:47.300 you know, that love, uh, Los Rams, you know, you, oh, you saw a lot of it.
00:25:55.160 I mean, I felt like there was some points I felt like we were some of the only white
00:25:58.140 people in the place.
00:26:01.380 Um, but damn Cincinnati, imagine you flying home, bro.
00:26:07.320 And you just going back to, um, to, to what, you know, I love Cincinnati, but you got to,
00:26:14.380 you know, you get back there to give you one more bowl of chili dog, you know, like, damn.
00:26:21.860 Damn.
00:26:22.580 So I was just, damn.
00:26:25.320 It hurt me that they lost.
00:26:28.040 It hurt me.
00:26:28.700 I really wanted them to win.
00:26:31.680 You know, it just was, and I don't know, it'd be an interesting climb over the years for
00:26:36.000 Joe Burrow.
00:26:37.060 And God, I just love that underdog vibe.
00:26:41.620 I love that underdog vibe, man.
00:26:46.540 So, but yeah, man, it was just a, the whole, it was just a crazy time.
00:26:53.840 This is the whole, I was just like, damn, what am I doing in here?
00:26:59.920 In this place.
00:27:01.700 There was this, you know, not that anybody's really different than anybody else.
00:27:05.940 And everybody was super low key, man.
00:27:08.420 Nelly was cutting up the whole time, making people laugh.
00:27:10.900 That dude is hilarious.
00:27:11.940 Um, yeah, I, I, I don't know.
00:27:17.440 It was just interesting.
00:27:18.480 Everybody was super friendly and way, and it was kind of funny because you had like a
00:27:23.960 lot of, you know, you know, hypothetically fancy people.
00:27:27.740 But once we got lost and we had to just get out and walk just through a neighborhood and
00:27:34.760 then just walk, it was just like, uh, I don't know.
00:27:39.540 It was just interesting.
00:27:43.100 It was just almost like a little bit of like, um, I don't know.
00:27:48.040 Cause you had people that normally would be escorted in through private entrances and fancy.
00:27:53.640 And then you just had them just being totally regular.
00:27:57.040 And, uh, it was pretty quiet.
00:27:59.280 It was just, it was almost like a prank, like a prank or something they would do on, um,
00:28:04.020 Ellen or something like that.
00:28:05.160 It seemed like on Ellen DeGeneres, if you believe in her.
00:28:09.040 So, but man, I had a nice time.
00:28:11.520 I made some new friends.
00:28:12.400 That's what I did feel like.
00:28:14.560 So got to talk Saints football with Mike Thomas, dude.
00:28:18.640 That's crazy.
00:28:20.240 You know, he's one of the best receivers ever.
00:28:22.300 And so I was just like a child, you know, and I felt like a child.
00:28:28.640 I've always felt like a child though.
00:28:30.380 So, um, yeah, I'll tell you some other things.
00:28:34.020 Let me, let me think about what else.
00:28:35.520 Let me, let me tell you this though.
00:28:36.600 Also that this, um, what is today?
00:28:42.820 I don't know.
00:28:45.140 Doesn't matter.
00:28:46.300 Peloton baby.
00:28:47.500 That's what I'm telling you about.
00:28:49.420 You got to keep fitness fresh.
00:28:52.620 You know, especially these days, all the commercials, even people with one leg are doing triathlon.
00:28:58.740 You'll see somebody with one leg going, uh, beating their children now where before that, you know, that kind of thing was reserved for somebody that was fully legged and now they doing whatever everybody's got, you know, you see a one arm person out there doing, um, you know, doing, uh, doing a chili, cooking a chili and stirring the chili with, um, that hook, you know, just hooking out that meat sauce.
00:29:26.540 And it's just, that's the, where the world is.
00:29:30.820 So what I'm saying is you got to keep things fresh with your fitness.
00:29:34.560 And the way to do that is to stay motivated and keep from burning out and doing the same thing.
00:29:41.060 You know, maybe you've been just doing running.
00:29:43.300 Maybe you need to do a little bit of archery.
00:29:45.600 Maybe you need to do, uh, you know, uh, do some pickleball or something like that, or just throw a heavy pickle back and forth with your cousin.
00:29:56.920 But Peloton is pushing you further with so much new stuff on the Peloton bike and Peloton bike plus.
00:30:06.820 They have new classes, new music, new ways to keep your workouts fun and motivating.
00:30:13.100 Uh, one thing they do have now with Peloton is boxing.
00:30:15.680 They got like, uh, on the app, uh, they got ways you can box.
00:30:20.060 They got ways that you can do yoga.
00:30:22.120 Uh, they have new artist series, music selections.
00:30:26.420 Peloton is adding fun, new, um, artist series classes, workout to the music of a single artist for an entire class.
00:30:34.260 From your favorite hits to all the deep cuts.
00:30:37.680 From pop and rock to hip-hop and EDM.
00:30:40.480 There are over 100 artist series to choose from.
00:30:43.820 Uh, Peloton has a workout for every day and every schedule.
00:30:46.680 De-stress from a long day with 30 minutes of strength and 20 minutes of cardio.
00:30:50.620 Or do quick 15-minute total body class before work.
00:30:55.140 Go to OnePeloton.com to learn more.
00:30:58.720 That's O-N-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N.com.
00:31:04.440 Yeah, they got a lot of great stuff.
00:31:05.700 If you, uh, want to try something new, they have it.
00:31:08.480 Even though it'll be wet and chilly in most parts of the country,
00:31:12.060 running will still be a part of people's lives trying to achieve their personal best.
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00:31:48.500 You're not going to see this shoe 40 years from now in a, uh,
00:31:52.440 you know, in a duck's mouth or whatever.
00:31:54.600 Or sometimes you'll see a duck get a shoe caught on his head.
00:31:57.600 And it can't do nothing.
00:31:58.920 And they, you know, they, you know, they find him somewhere at a damn DSW or something.
00:32:05.060 And he's, he can't handle his own life.
00:32:08.240 That won't happen with this.
00:32:10.060 The Wool Dasher Mizzles.
00:32:12.360 Oh, they're comfortable.
00:32:14.220 They're comfortable.
00:32:14.980 You can fly in them.
00:32:15.780 I fly in my Allbirds, man.
00:32:17.840 When I travel, I like to put them on.
00:32:19.440 It looks like, uh, you could do business.
00:32:22.520 Or if the business wasn't going well, or if the business was hammocks, you could take a nap.
00:32:30.200 That's the kind of shoe it is.
00:32:32.000 It's just an all.
00:32:33.780 Yeah.
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00:33:01.280 What else?
00:33:03.380 Yeah, I just looked, man.
00:33:04.500 We had, what else did they have at the game?
00:33:06.220 They had a lot of little cupcakes.
00:33:07.820 These little.
00:33:10.560 Oh.
00:33:12.460 Um.
00:33:14.060 I noticed you could just walk, like, from one suite to the next.
00:33:17.520 You could just, uh, even if you were just in the regular area, you could just walk into a suite.
00:33:22.760 We walked into one.
00:33:24.060 It's a FedEx company.
00:33:26.000 Them package boys, you know?
00:33:27.880 Them overnighters.
00:33:29.960 They in there.
00:33:30.580 Them same day afternoon dogs.
00:33:32.540 They in there.
00:33:33.160 You saw them.
00:33:33.720 Those men look tired.
00:33:36.260 The same day afternoon guy, like, damn, they look.
00:33:40.180 They been, they put in work.
00:33:43.120 The overnight guys, the little bit.
00:33:44.720 The second, third day air, they were fucking, they was comfortable.
00:33:49.700 They was comfortable.
00:33:53.040 But, yeah, we walked in there.
00:33:54.400 And the thing was right next to Drake, the musician.
00:33:57.960 His thing was right there.
00:33:59.060 So, I would look over and he's standing right there.
00:34:02.100 I said, damn, bro.
00:34:03.920 These people rich as hell, bro.
00:34:07.700 Somebody in there, they rich.
00:34:10.780 They rich, man.
00:34:11.980 Dude, if Drake even sneezed on me, I'd put on a neck brace.
00:34:17.260 You know what I'm saying?
00:34:18.080 Boy, that's what I would do.
00:34:20.120 If that dude even patted me on the back once, I'd put that neck brace on, baby.
00:34:24.260 That whiplash.
00:34:25.160 But it was fun, man, watching the game, seeing all the hype.
00:34:35.140 I'd never been to a Super Bowl and I never even thought about the Super Bowl.
00:34:38.840 You know, I never thought about the Super Bowl like as, you know, I remember growing up, we would stay.
00:34:47.260 It was kind of late.
00:34:48.240 I remember, I remember, I think one year it was, I felt like it was late.
00:34:53.800 Maybe just because I was a child.
00:34:56.240 And it felt like it was late on TV.
00:34:58.900 And we watched it.
00:35:00.060 And I think it was the 49ers had lost, had beaten Cincinnati.
00:35:07.520 So, damn.
00:35:10.760 But that's got to suck.
00:35:11.960 You fly all the way home and they just got another warm thing of chili for you.
00:35:15.620 It's nice, though.
00:35:18.020 I'll say this.
00:35:19.940 The best food, if you're going to be a team that loses the Super Bowl and you got to go back to a city,
00:35:26.400 nothing goes better with losing, honestly, than a warm bowl of chili, dog.
00:35:37.620 And that's God saying that through me right now.
00:35:39.840 I know that.
00:35:41.660 Nothing goes better with losing than that warm bowl of chili.
00:35:47.400 Damn, bro.
00:35:48.760 That will help.
00:35:50.340 That will help.
00:35:53.280 But God, I wish they would have won it.
00:35:54.780 I wish they would have won it.
00:35:58.260 I want to tell you, we have still shows, February 25th in Rockford and February 26th in Chicago and May 7th in Los Angeles.
00:36:10.640 Those are all still on sale.
00:36:15.620 What else?
00:36:18.220 You guys got some calls and we'll get to those in a minute.
00:36:20.480 Oh, yeah, dude.
00:36:23.820 It was just, it felt pretty magical.
00:36:25.560 I felt just lucky to be there.
00:36:27.500 Like, you know, I guess, you know, a lot of people don't get to go to the Super Bowl.
00:36:34.220 And I called my good friend, Will Teague, right before I got, right before I was heading over there.
00:36:38.640 Because we watched, I think, a first Super Bowl probably together.
00:36:43.440 We were neighbors.
00:36:45.060 He's a neighbor child.
00:36:46.220 And I called him.
00:36:49.220 I said, hey, man, I'm going to the Super Bowl, dude.
00:36:53.120 And it was nice.
00:36:54.100 It was just nice.
00:36:55.000 It was just, you know, I don't know.
00:36:58.440 Just cool.
00:36:59.320 I never thought I would go to a Super Bowl.
00:37:02.200 So, just, yeah.
00:37:05.000 It was just a real time.
00:37:07.700 It was a real time.
00:37:08.780 I'm pretty lucky to have just opportunities like that.
00:37:12.080 But, so, yeah, I guess I felt pretty grateful.
00:37:16.920 Not trying to brag about it.
00:37:18.060 Just, I mean, fuck, it was just bizarre, dude.
00:37:22.200 It was just, just the whole thing was bizarre.
00:37:27.420 And then we got stuck afterwards.
00:37:29.320 We couldn't leave.
00:37:30.000 The traffic is just horrible.
00:37:31.120 So, we literally had to just hang out in the parking lot in the back for about two hours.
00:37:37.820 Just sitting there, just milling around.
00:37:41.500 It was like summer camp, kind of.
00:37:44.420 And it was funny because once everybody kind of became stranded, nobody was like a, nobody, like none of like the celebrity people seemed like celebrities anymore.
00:37:54.540 They just, everybody just kind of seemed just like, just pretty regular.
00:37:59.240 You know, it was like once every, yeah, I don't know.
00:38:09.020 Once, once we were all just kind of stranded, it was just like, it was almost like when the power went out when you were young and you just, you'd all have to come together and just be around, you know.
00:38:21.980 You'd all have to come together and just be around each other.
00:38:24.780 When the power went out because you kind of needed each other.
00:38:27.100 It was just a little bit like that.
00:38:28.520 It was like, fuck, we can't go nowhere.
00:38:32.480 This is, this is our new little, uh, America.
00:38:38.320 You know, it was like a new little America.
00:38:40.680 So, but that was my time, dude.
00:38:43.960 That was, you know, I don't do a lot of crazy shit like that.
00:38:47.980 That was my time, baby.
00:38:49.240 I was out there.
00:38:51.380 Um, what else is interesting?
00:38:53.280 Oh, I went to see a block.
00:38:54.780 I went to a blockbuster video.
00:38:58.820 This is about maybe a, maybe a month ago.
00:39:01.640 I went and visited my ex-girlfriend.
00:39:04.120 She lives in Bend, Oregon.
00:39:05.980 If you believe in that place.
00:39:08.740 I went and visited her.
00:39:10.360 And, uh, and they had a blockbuster video up there.
00:39:17.360 The last one.
00:39:18.180 And I couldn't believe it.
00:39:21.100 Right when I got there, some guy was dropping the videos off in the door, in the outdoor slot.
00:39:28.160 Some dude that, I mean, I can't, the overdue fines he must have had.
00:39:32.640 Steep.
00:39:35.360 Sprack.
00:39:35.800 Um, those overdue fines were upstairs, baby.
00:39:43.360 Them bitches was upstairs.
00:39:46.480 Uh, and yeah.
00:39:51.220 And then you go in and it's just a flood of the past.
00:39:55.620 It's like the yellow that was kind of, the yellow was a little bit stolen by the minions, kind of.
00:40:02.120 They kind of took that blockbuster yellow.
00:40:05.800 Um, and it was just like the wooden, like, uh, the kind of prefab kind of wooden, uh, there was like, you know what I'm talking about?
00:40:22.480 The wood, the paneling type of wood, you know, or it wasn't paneling.
00:40:26.280 It was like these, like, it was like kind of plywood, I think, but it had like this like laminate over it.
00:40:33.040 And, and you just saw the movie, you saw the thing, dramas, television, uh, television was a section and it was just on DVD or see, I don't even know what the, what format it was on in there.
00:40:47.580 But it was awesome.
00:40:51.920 You just, and you saw so many titles.
00:40:54.880 That was the thing.
00:40:56.940 You saw all the title.
00:40:58.360 You're like, Oh, what is this one?
00:41:00.080 You know, Russian, uh, you know, bomber or something.
00:41:05.340 Oh, Russian bomber.
00:41:07.260 I've never seen this.
00:41:07.980 And you'd read it and it was like somebody bombs a Russian.
00:41:10.980 That was like the synopsis.
00:41:12.100 The movie like this shit sounds pretty bad.
00:41:14.620 You know, my stepdad would like it.
00:41:17.160 That's one of those movies, you know, like Jack Reacher 70.
00:41:20.580 He would like that.
00:41:22.020 Um, but yeah, one thing that was interesting, you got to see all the movies, went to the different sections, kids, adults, uh, teens.
00:41:32.460 And they had drama, violence, horror.
00:41:35.520 You go to the little section, like, Oh, well, look at all these movies, you know, uh, Rambo, you know, Rambo, uh, like, uh, Rambo.
00:41:46.240 Remember that?
00:41:48.160 Or they'd have like bat attack and like two, you know, dangerous bats attack a family or something.
00:41:53.300 And, you know, outside of Des Moines though.
00:41:55.920 And they're like, damn, they fucking, these bats are getting people.
00:41:59.180 Damn, these bats.
00:42:00.080 Um, but the one thing, interesting thing I thought about being at the Blockbuster was you got to, uh, you made a choice.
00:42:10.100 You had all the things and you made a choice.
00:42:14.540 You went and you were like, Oh, this one looks pretty good.
00:42:18.820 I'll make this choice.
00:42:19.880 I'm going to choose.
00:42:20.820 There was just so many choice.
00:42:22.440 You could wander.
00:42:23.140 You could choose.
00:42:24.000 It's like, it felt like you had so many options and you got to make a choice.
00:42:30.380 Whereas with the streaming platforms, now you turn it on.
00:42:32.860 The most you can see on a screen at one time is about eight or 10 names.
00:42:37.760 And I don't really, and it feels like it's the same.
00:42:40.040 You could go through every section and they give you the same, you know, nine options.
00:42:44.940 You're like, damn.
00:42:45.860 Um, so that was one thing that felt interesting at the Blockbuster was that I got to make the choice.
00:42:52.680 I, you know, maybe I'd be in comedy section.
00:42:56.260 I'd be looking, see, you know, let me look over there.
00:42:58.320 You know, they got horror films or they got a geriatric, um, you know, nightmare or whatever, putting nightmares or whatever.
00:43:07.480 And you go over there and look at that.
00:43:09.760 They got construction, you know, different shit.
00:43:13.080 And one area is just blueprints rolled up.
00:43:15.440 You could read them bitches, you know, bad blueprints.
00:43:18.620 A lot of stuff from probably like, uh, areas where there's like a high water table.
00:43:22.760 You're like, damn.
00:43:24.740 So if you know about blueprints, some of that shit can be very, very scary.
00:43:29.220 Uh, but I just thought it was interesting.
00:43:33.380 You got to make, I felt so much more like I made the choice at Blockbuster.
00:43:38.240 Whereas with the streamer platforms, I feel like the choice is kind of made for you.
00:43:41.240 They're making the choice in the background.
00:43:45.700 You know, they're giving you these, here's 12 options.
00:43:48.340 Choose, this is, you know, but at Blockbuster, I just felt like here's all the options.
00:43:55.020 And maybe because at Blockbuster, you're physically moving.
00:43:57.700 So you're kind of wandering through the, there's more of a, like you doing an action to go choose something.
00:44:06.260 I don't know.
00:44:06.940 It was definitely, I just felt strongly like, man, I miss having the choice.
00:44:10.820 As opposed to what it feels like now more is that it gets, it kind of gets chosen for you.
00:44:17.580 You don't, it doesn't really, but the screen is just, you know, it's just such a small screen that they, they're going to, they hit you with it enough.
00:44:29.280 You might click on it.
00:44:32.620 But yeah, it was crazy.
00:44:33.780 The new releases and the Pete, the workers are up there and they're like doing the little thing where they take the thing off and make sure nobody's stealing and shit.
00:44:42.100 But God, it was such a throwback.
00:44:45.840 And then they had the little candies.
00:44:47.620 They had the, um, there was always a couple of packs.
00:44:51.460 They had Nestle's.
00:44:52.280 Then they had the Nestle nugget bites or whatever.
00:44:54.980 The Butterfinger bites when them bitches came out, dude.
00:44:57.980 We, I had a buddy broke into a fucking blockbuster and got six packs of those bites.
00:45:04.680 Got six packs of those bites, dude.
00:45:07.440 Of, uh, Butterfinger bites, bro.
00:45:11.300 Damn, dude.
00:45:13.060 You'd have something, dude, if your stepdad had two things of freaking bites, he'd fucking wake his ass up.
00:45:18.740 Get the fuck up, Stanley.
00:45:20.380 Get up, Darren.
00:45:21.800 Get up, bitch.
00:45:23.720 I want them bites, dog.
00:45:26.200 I want them bites.
00:45:28.980 When them bitches hit the scene, bro, when bites hit the scene, when Butterfinger bites hit the scene, bro, when Nestle bites.
00:45:36.800 Yeah, damn, dog.
00:45:39.540 You'd see people in their fucking backyards training their bulldog to go get one.
00:45:43.640 Get that bitch.
00:45:45.240 Get that bitch, Reginald.
00:45:46.480 Get that bitch.
00:45:48.360 Get that bitch, boy.
00:45:49.660 Get that bite.
00:45:52.720 It's a different time, man.
00:45:54.480 Motherfuckers was amped.
00:45:55.500 And then they had the other candy.
00:45:58.840 It was like the last, I was like, the package just looks like kind of tropical colors, like red and yellow and blue.
00:46:06.600 You're like, what is that, you know?
00:46:08.100 Yeah, so that was it, man.
00:46:13.940 That was it.
00:46:15.600 But it was just, yeah.
00:46:16.640 And the people, oh, I took a picture of the people working in there and they got upset.
00:46:19.780 They said, you can't take pictures of the humans in there.
00:46:22.540 And they had a little spot at the back of the Blockbuster, you do a birthday in there if you want.
00:46:27.580 Get your friends over there.
00:46:30.040 You know, if you still got enough friends that'll come to a birthday that remember Blockbuster, that's a little fucking, that's diced out.
00:46:37.460 But, um, what else?
00:46:40.840 You guys had some great calls, man.
00:46:43.400 You know, I just had to tell you about this Super Bowl experience.
00:46:45.600 It was just, first of all, the fact that just getting, like, lost and then getting lost on the side of the road.
00:46:52.800 And then just walking in through the regular entrance with all these people that have sold out stadiums and stuff.
00:46:58.920 It was just baffling, man.
00:47:01.180 I was like, this is absolutely baffling.
00:47:03.160 And, uh, what else, man?
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00:47:58.660 They've mint you in the mouth, son.
00:48:01.360 I always said somebody should make a mint gun where they just drive around and shoot people with bad breath.
00:48:06.620 Just, brr, mint them up.
00:48:11.380 Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and keep your same phone number along with all your existing contacts.
00:48:16.880 With Mint Mobile, choose the amount of monthly data that's right for you.
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00:48:34.360 Your front day.
00:48:35.720 Who's there?
00:48:37.400 No.
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00:48:49.380 I want to let you know that hair loss is killing people.
00:48:55.580 They found a guy the other day in the woods.
00:48:57.600 He had all of his hair in his hands.
00:48:59.680 And he wasn't alive.
00:49:04.360 So you do the detective work on that.
00:49:08.040 Hair loss is killing people.
00:49:10.260 Dear God.
00:49:11.160 They found a guy the other day.
00:49:14.860 People didn't know his name.
00:49:16.220 Nothing.
00:49:16.540 He had two sideburns in his hand.
00:49:18.880 And he was dead.
00:49:22.440 You do the math, folks.
00:49:24.820 Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35.
00:49:29.300 Jesus Christ.
00:49:31.200 Is it fair?
00:49:32.260 Is it fair, huh?
00:49:35.620 Women get these big old tits and we out here with losing hair.
00:49:39.940 Is it fair, God?
00:49:42.820 It's me, Margaret.
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00:51:37.400 Yeah, we just don't choose anymore.
00:51:39.280 A lot of the choices are made by the machines now.
00:51:44.160 You know, with the doorbell even, you look at it and now they got the ring thing.
00:51:48.940 You can just look and see who it is.
00:51:50.080 There's no surprise.
00:51:52.680 You know, it used to be like every time the doorbell rang, it was like, uh,
00:51:57.100 it was a surprise party, but you didn't know if the party was going to be good or bad.
00:52:01.000 Or just neutral.
00:52:02.280 So now it was just somebody.
00:52:04.580 I remember one time we opened the door, somebody just standing there.
00:52:10.080 Said they accidentally rung it.
00:52:14.980 Said, all right, bro.
00:52:16.020 So you just never know.
00:52:20.080 But now with the ring thing, you see who it is.
00:52:23.640 You know, now with the movies, you don't really, you know, they give you, you know, the options.
00:52:29.340 They really narrow it till they get you to get the one you want.
00:52:32.220 Oh, that'll do it.
00:52:38.380 You know, a lot of the streaming platforms, they'll even change the image on the thing of the film.
00:52:42.920 So, or the, the, the, the project until it catches your eye.
00:52:47.860 They'll use three or four pictures.
00:52:51.080 When they did the Netflix special, they would use three or four pictures and change it and see which one gets people's eye the most.
00:52:58.720 They want to get your eye.
00:52:59.980 Yeah.
00:53:02.220 This is different.
00:53:05.420 But yeah, I miss, I miss the element of surprise.
00:53:09.300 I miss a little bit of going into the place and, and also with Blockbuster, you drove over there.
00:53:16.000 You had to get your mom to bring you over there.
00:53:17.900 She'd be out there smoking in the car.
00:53:20.720 She'd be out there smoking and yell something.
00:53:22.740 Get something good.
00:53:26.000 And you'd be in that bitch.
00:53:27.380 And a lot of times she gave you money to get a movie and you got a game.
00:53:31.140 That was a crazy.
00:53:32.220 You brought that bitch back in.
00:53:34.800 Mom be like, what movie is it?
00:53:36.460 You'd be like, oh, oh, double dragon.
00:53:45.580 And then she beat your ass or something or beat half your ass.
00:53:48.940 A smart mother leave you with half an ass to sit on.
00:53:55.340 I remember my mother whooped me so bad.
00:53:57.040 One time I had to ride home on all fours on the back seat.
00:54:01.820 Because I just had too much damage on my ass.
00:54:05.300 Too much ass damage.
00:54:07.560 Praise God, baby.
00:54:09.700 Praise God.
00:54:10.540 What else?
00:54:18.460 We got some calls that came in.
00:54:22.640 Let's see what we got.
00:54:24.680 Here's a couple that came in.
00:54:30.520 Here we go.
00:54:31.360 Let's hear this.
00:54:32.060 What's that, NTO?
00:54:33.760 It's Ryan from up here in Louisville, Kentucky.
00:54:37.260 What's up, Ryan?
00:54:38.780 Up there in Louisville, baby.
00:54:40.420 And that's where my boy LeCedric jumped out and surprised everybody at that party.
00:54:48.200 And stole all those purses, baby.
00:54:54.360 Praise God.
00:54:55.080 I hope he's doing well out there.
00:54:58.240 Let's hear more, brother.
00:54:59.360 Onward.
00:55:00.420 So, my girlfriend and I have been together for about two years now.
00:55:03.720 We moved in together.
00:55:05.140 Oh, damn.
00:55:05.960 Okay.
00:55:06.720 So, you did it like that.
00:55:07.940 Amen.
00:55:09.080 But she had a cat.
00:55:10.320 And her cat was kind of an asshole.
00:55:12.480 You know?
00:55:13.340 Yeah, man.
00:55:14.100 That's a cat.
00:55:17.800 Yeah.
00:55:19.160 So, I was like, bitch, let me get a cat.
00:55:22.100 So, we got me a cat.
00:55:24.100 Months go by.
00:55:25.600 And now we...
00:55:26.180 Bro, you got a...
00:55:27.160 You, you, you...
00:55:29.200 Why'd you let her get you a cat?
00:55:34.940 That's...
00:55:35.700 If she already has a cat, do you need a cat, man?
00:55:40.460 Like, why do you...
00:55:42.700 That's like the Sadie Hawkins of, like, the Animal Kingdom kind of.
00:55:46.080 Like, why do you...
00:55:48.200 I don't think you needed to get a cat, man.
00:55:50.680 Because...
00:55:51.100 I mean, I've never been, like...
00:55:55.800 I don't know.
00:55:56.440 I'm not letting some...
00:55:57.440 If my...
00:55:58.020 If I have a girlfriend and she has a cat, I'm not letting her get me a fucking cat.
00:56:02.260 You keep your cat.
00:56:03.500 Sandra or whatever your name is.
00:56:07.460 I don't want a cat.
00:56:10.480 So, I'm trying to support you here, man.
00:56:12.240 But let's hear more.
00:56:13.640 A cat.
00:56:14.980 Months go by and now we break up.
00:56:17.380 Ain't that...
00:56:18.100 No shit, dude.
00:56:19.960 You break up because you...
00:56:21.340 That you let that you...
00:56:22.900 And I'm gonna lose this...
00:56:24.120 I'm gonna use this term loosely, bro.
00:56:25.560 It's a loose term.
00:56:27.000 You letting that match...
00:56:29.180 Cat you up.
00:56:30.040 You was done.
00:56:30.860 The second you say, yeah, baby, I'll take a cat...
00:56:33.280 On your behalf.
00:56:35.380 What, dog?
00:56:38.080 You out here cat-having for these hoes, baby.
00:56:41.160 Damn, you can't live like that.
00:56:43.820 God don't want you to...
00:56:45.000 God don't want you out there...
00:56:46.920 Going home to some cat you don't even love.
00:56:51.640 And when you do that shit, a woman sees that.
00:56:54.160 Oh, he willing to get that cat.
00:56:56.460 Alright.
00:56:58.640 That's...
00:56:59.200 Onward.
00:57:00.240 Tell her to move out.
00:57:01.200 She ends up taking the fucking cat.
00:57:03.820 She takes her cat and my cat.
00:57:06.320 Yeah, you never had a cat, bro.
00:57:08.700 Don't you understand?
00:57:09.440 You never had a cat.
00:57:11.720 You was a pawn, baby.
00:57:14.560 You was a pawn.
00:57:15.700 You was a pet shop pawn.
00:57:18.160 You was a...
00:57:18.860 They...
00:57:19.540 They...
00:57:20.260 The ladies...
00:57:21.120 That lady used you.
00:57:23.640 She probably have a bunch of pictures of men on her phone that she may get cats.
00:57:28.040 And you wanted them.
00:57:29.160 Now, look at Franklin.
00:57:31.200 He's got it.
00:57:31.940 Look at him.
00:57:32.420 Look at that tabby.
00:57:33.240 Look at Ryan over here.
00:57:34.920 With that little Siamis.
00:57:37.240 Come on, baby.
00:57:38.320 You're better than that.
00:57:39.900 Let's hear more.
00:57:41.600 She takes her cat and my cat.
00:57:44.100 Mm.
00:57:44.300 I take better care of these goddamn cats than she ever could.
00:57:48.400 She's doing this just to get back at me.
00:57:50.160 I mean...
00:57:50.900 Is she wrong?
00:57:52.440 Or am I just bitching?
00:57:54.120 Man, I...
00:57:57.340 You can't be doing that, bro.
00:57:59.960 You can't take on an animal because some lady needs you and wants to see you like that.
00:58:04.980 She wants to look across the room and see you with your cat and she gots her cat.
00:58:12.260 It's just...
00:58:13.120 You tougher than that.
00:58:17.260 You know?
00:58:18.540 I don't want some lady looking over and I got a cat that she made me get.
00:58:23.340 Bro.
00:58:25.300 I'm upstairs, baby.
00:58:27.020 If you need me, I'll be over there petting my dick.
00:58:30.840 No.
00:58:31.760 I'll be over there petting myself.
00:58:34.000 I'll be over there licking my own skin.
00:58:38.100 You know, I don't need...
00:58:39.200 I'll be over there with a damn parrot or a damn pit bull, baby.
00:58:44.080 Or a damn gay friend that's a prize fighter that's Italian, baby.
00:58:47.400 I'll be over there with fucking Billy Conforto, dog.
00:58:49.600 I'll be over there with a ghost.
00:58:52.960 I don't need to be sitting over there with a cat that a woman made me get.
00:58:56.660 Damn, bro.
00:58:57.560 Good luck, dog.
00:58:59.440 And be lucky she took that cat.
00:59:02.820 I used to live with a guy over here.
00:59:05.460 Kenny, bro.
00:59:06.120 And he would get stoned and make his cats jump up in the little boxes and shit.
00:59:11.420 And I'd have to sit out there and watch that shit.
00:59:13.820 See?
00:59:14.040 And I was...
00:59:14.540 That's...
00:59:15.000 And I was you.
00:59:17.620 I was you, man.
00:59:18.660 I'm watching.
00:59:19.020 I'm fucking out here.
00:59:20.280 This dude, he's fucking high.
00:59:21.580 And I'm out here, you know.
00:59:23.040 And I'm fucking high watching these cats in the dude's boxes.
00:59:25.940 What the fuck am I doing?
00:59:28.220 And wondering why I'm lonely.
00:59:29.940 I'm out here.
00:59:31.100 Watching some man teach a cat to do box tricks and shit in our living room.
00:59:36.460 And neither one of us were really gainfully employed.
00:59:39.700 Dear God, bro.
00:59:41.260 Praise God.
00:59:42.740 All right.
00:59:43.300 Let's hit a couple of these, man.
00:59:44.500 And see what we got here.
00:59:46.520 Hey, Theo.
00:59:47.260 My name is Kate.
00:59:48.620 And I just listened to your episode about ayahuasca and your mom and starting to feel your feelings again.
00:59:56.180 And I was incredibly touched.
00:59:58.840 Thanks for the call, Kate.
01:00:00.080 Thank you for reaching out.
01:00:01.280 The hotline, as always, is 985-664-9503.
01:00:07.420 Onward.
01:00:08.660 And I think I was kind of getting cheery-eyed a little bit throughout a lot of it.
01:00:13.740 It reminded me of my own experience, not thinking I had feelings for decades.
01:00:20.380 Well, I mean, not decades, but a long fucking time.
01:00:22.660 And once I started feeling them again, having an interaction with my dad where I was just crying and so devastated by something.
01:00:35.840 And he was looking at me like I had three eyes.
01:00:38.140 I remember him saying, like, do you want a beer?
01:00:42.460 Do you want a glass of wine?
01:00:44.100 Do you want a glass of dinner?
01:00:45.660 And I was like, no, I just want you to fucking look at, like, just listen to me or hold me or cry or show some kind of semblance of emotion.
01:00:55.560 Like, don't try to patch this up with food or alcohol, you know?
01:01:01.320 So just to say, like, a lot of us have had this experience realizing that our parents couldn't have this open emotional awareness with us.
01:01:12.880 And it's a really shitty thing to realize.
01:01:16.380 And I think it's kind of like the equivalent of grieving a death.
01:01:21.180 Like, what you might be going through is some kind of grief for something that you didn't receive in childhood that you needed and didn't have the words to express or know that you needed at the time.
01:01:33.840 Yeah, look, I appreciate the call.
01:01:36.880 And she's talking about the last episode.
01:01:39.520 If you didn't hear, I was talking just about the experience that I've had with trying to get off antidepressants and doing ayahuasca.
01:01:50.540 And just the all that's come up during it and everything.
01:01:57.120 Yeah, you know, I think it's tough.
01:01:58.880 A lot of us, when people, we, we, well, there's a couple of things.
01:02:08.920 For one, we tend to, yeah, when people, there's so many things that can distract us from our feelings now.
01:02:13.560 There's so many, just so many things that can just, you have a feeling, you reach for a phone, you reach for a cigarette, you reach for a video game, you reach anything to not have this kind of human experience.
01:02:33.560 And I don't know how we stop that, especially now with phones.
01:02:47.140 I mean, we're just addicted.
01:02:48.560 If there's any, there's no bigger addiction than a phone.
01:02:50.840 It just, it's almost like we've let electronics beat us kind of in a way.
01:02:56.700 Or we've let, like, I don't know.
01:03:02.960 We've let, here, let me listen to what you said again.
01:03:07.100 Yeah, I think there's, yeah, so I think there's a lot of, yeah, we try to patch things up.
01:03:34.580 We try to, we don't know what to do.
01:03:37.960 And some parents come from a generation where feelings were, they didn't have, there wasn't feelings.
01:03:44.120 There was no responsibility.
01:03:47.640 We're at such a place in the world, especially in, like, this capitalist country of America,
01:03:53.020 America, where, where we're all kind of so satiated, and there's so much less for us to do physically a lot of times that we're fucking sitting around here, you know, I'm sitting around here, you know, sunbathing in my feelings.
01:04:15.520 You know, literally just sitting here eating, feeling soup.
01:04:20.380 It's like I'm just, and I'm not knocking it.
01:04:24.720 I'm not, but I think a lot of our parents are from a different generation, different time.
01:04:29.520 You know, where things still needed to be done with the daily routine and the responsibility and like, you know, people used to have kids because they needed them to help on the farm.
01:04:44.900 That's a few generations ago, but it's not that, you know, it was just a different, you would lose more kids in childbirth.
01:04:52.280 It was just, there was a lot more, uh, things were more industrial in some ways.
01:04:59.480 I think nature and the reality of things was a lot closer because there weren't so many things to separate you.
01:05:16.520 And, and people used to get sick and die more.
01:05:21.860 There was a reality, there was just a reality was so right there.
01:05:25.100 Um, and now it's like everywhere, you know, there's a medicine for everything.
01:05:34.120 Everybody stays alive till, you know, we live in longer.
01:05:38.940 So there's some semblance of that, you know, we all have these desk jobs where we're sitting here looking at ourselves and looking at feedback.
01:05:49.200 It's just about us.
01:05:50.380 It's just this mental loop where it's probably unhealthy for us.
01:05:54.640 And so, yeah, I think we're just in different times, you know, I think it's, so I think that's part of it.
01:06:00.420 So sometimes our parents, they just didn't have, it wasn't, it's not a part of their language.
01:06:07.380 I think for some of them, it's not a part of their language.
01:06:11.860 But yeah, you know, this whole, this whole experience going through the ayahuasca and trying to stay off antidepressants has been tough.
01:06:19.920 Because I just had all these feelings that had never been anywhere.
01:06:24.960 They'd just been stuck in me.
01:06:26.200 So it's like, and I could never, I always remember asking myself, how do I feel about this?
01:06:32.860 I could never, I couldn't even get a feeling.
01:06:34.680 It was always just this kind of comfortable space, you know, we're semi-comfortable space.
01:06:45.240 But yeah, thanks for sharing, Kate.
01:06:46.660 I think there's, you know, a couple of things at play.
01:06:48.680 One, where our parents had, they, they didn't have that, the luxury, if it is a luxury.
01:06:53.680 Of wandering through their feelings so much.
01:07:01.920 Because they had to actually deal with stuff on the outside.
01:07:04.680 They had real things to deal with.
01:07:06.760 Whereas today on average, a lot of that has been, it's pretty comfortable for most people in America.
01:07:15.560 So, you're just kind of left, like the only, the last frontier is inside of ourselves now.
01:07:26.600 And so that's where some of us are maybe exploring.
01:07:31.600 And then since we're not using our bodies and stuff as much, then there's just, you know,
01:07:40.020 I think there's like this weird time where we don't, a lot of us, you know, our nature doesn't know what to do.
01:07:52.600 I think there's a weird thing going on where we don't feel of use.
01:08:00.380 And so, I don't know.
01:08:05.740 I don't know exactly what I'm saying.
01:08:10.020 I don't know.
01:08:12.580 Sorry.
01:08:13.040 I don't know exactly what I'm saying, Kate.
01:08:14.560 But I do appreciate your call.
01:08:16.880 And I appreciate you sharing your experience.
01:08:23.580 Let's get another caller or two that came in, man.
01:08:27.180 Here we go right here.
01:08:30.320 Hey, Theo.
01:08:31.160 This is Rose.
01:08:32.040 I just, I'm from Dallas, Texas.
01:08:34.820 And I just want to.
01:08:36.500 Hey, Rose from Texas.
01:08:37.880 Yeah.
01:08:38.460 The yellow rose of Texas.
01:08:39.900 That used to be a thing.
01:08:41.180 I don't know what it was.
01:08:42.080 I think it was a garden or something over there.
01:08:44.880 And I don't know what happened to it.
01:08:46.940 Probably that round up ready.
01:08:48.640 Monsanto killed a lot of that shit.
01:08:51.380 But I love you.
01:08:53.840 Thank you for calling in, Rose.
01:08:55.560 Let's hear more.
01:08:56.280 I want to let you know that I listened to your last solo album.
01:09:01.160 And I'm the mother of five sons.
01:09:03.640 No daughters.
01:09:04.200 And I consider myself a pretty loving mother.
01:09:07.980 Damn.
01:09:09.580 You really got that.
01:09:12.320 Your uterus is a damn little cock gun, baby.
01:09:14.940 That thing's firing out wieners, baby.
01:09:16.920 Damn, bro.
01:09:19.380 Praise, baby.
01:09:20.220 Praise.
01:09:21.200 Thank you for sharing, man.
01:09:22.920 A ma'am.
01:09:23.880 Or young lady.
01:09:24.920 I don't know.
01:09:25.240 You know.
01:09:25.920 Who knows.
01:09:27.120 But thank you for the call.
01:09:28.180 Let's hear more.
01:09:28.840 We have five sons.
01:09:30.860 But the words that you said really spoke to me about being there for them, not having
01:09:37.980 an answer, not having a suggestion, just sitting with them in their pain.
01:09:42.220 And I'm trying to raise strong men, but I needed to hear that.
01:09:48.100 And I think that not only will I be a better mother, but you'll help me raise better men.
01:09:54.380 And I just really appreciate your vulnerability and your just access to your feelings and willingness
01:10:02.740 to share that.
01:10:05.400 It means a lot to all of us.
01:10:07.540 And I hope you know that.
01:10:09.360 Gang, gang.
01:10:10.320 Gang, Rose.
01:10:11.260 Thank you.
01:10:13.640 Yeah.
01:10:14.240 And I think I could have been extra sensitive.
01:10:15.820 I could be extra sensitive about this, the relationship and my relationship with my mother
01:10:22.500 because I didn't have a father relationship.
01:10:24.540 So, you know, and I was also a sensitive kid.
01:10:27.160 So you put all that stuff together.
01:10:32.860 You know, it can just, it can really be kind of like a little Andrea, like a perfect storm,
01:10:38.780 kind of like that movie where they killed that guy.
01:10:44.820 Ahab or whatever.
01:10:45.520 I don't know what, I don't know what the guy's name, but, but anyway.
01:10:48.380 I, um, but thank you for sharing.
01:10:50.980 Yeah.
01:10:51.300 And that's cool.
01:10:51.940 You got five times.
01:10:52.760 That's awesome.
01:10:54.100 Yeah.
01:10:54.440 I think it's just, yeah, I don't know how to have a bet.
01:10:58.900 I mean, I don't know how to have a better.
01:11:05.520 I mean, I guess I do, but it's like, I don't know.
01:11:08.840 I don't know what, you know, I don't know, but I appreciate that.
01:11:21.640 Um, and I didn't have any choice to, but to be where I am, like, you know, I wasn't feeling
01:11:28.080 good.
01:11:28.380 There's nothing I could do about it.
01:11:29.820 I've tried, I've been trying everything.
01:11:32.220 Um, so I just have to be, I think on this space that I'm on right now.
01:11:36.860 Um, and, uh, yeah, I think you sound like you're doing a good job just from your voice.
01:11:44.540 Uh, and I hope you are.
01:11:47.060 And, um, yeah.
01:11:48.940 And I wish you the best of, uh, of, of love and connection over there with your children.
01:11:54.920 All right.
01:11:56.140 Um, yeah.
01:11:58.020 And I want to thank everybody.
01:11:59.000 A lot of nice messages and stuff, uh, from, uh, last week's episode and just for the support.
01:12:06.860 You know, um, just for the support.
01:12:10.140 I'm feeling excited this week.
01:12:11.700 I'm going back to the ayahuasca treatment.
01:12:13.680 I feel, you know, uh, I'm feeling good taking care of myself.
01:12:19.920 Um, yeah.
01:12:23.340 But I do appreciate it.
01:12:25.160 You know, it's just been, it's a wild journey.
01:12:27.840 Like, you know, I, I don't know.
01:12:32.000 It's like, this is just where I, this is my life.
01:12:39.000 And yeah, I'm just really grateful for the support, man.
01:12:43.900 A lot of nice words.
01:12:45.680 Um, you know, a lot of people going through their own journeys and things and trying to
01:12:51.980 keep themselves healthy and well.
01:12:53.580 And I don't know what it is.
01:12:55.680 I don't know if it's that, uh, maybe humans, we don't feel of use.
01:13:02.880 We feel disconnected from nature.
01:13:05.420 I'm not sure.
01:13:06.240 I don't know if, if America has much more mental health problems in other places or emotional
01:13:11.840 wellness problems, you know?
01:13:14.100 Um, cause I also don't know if some of my problems feel like their mental health or if
01:13:21.420 they're more like just emotional wellness, you know, I mean, I took a long sabbatical
01:13:25.780 on medicine from having feelings.
01:13:29.980 So, you know, when you, when you really open that back up, it's going to be a ride.
01:13:38.200 Um, but yeah, just grateful, man.
01:13:45.220 Grateful for a lot of beautiful messages.
01:13:46.780 Uh, and, uh, and just for supporting the podcast, um, excited to do some shows, got to do some
01:13:55.180 shows last night, uh, this, uh, two nights ago.
01:13:59.720 Um, what else is going on?
01:14:02.580 I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed.
01:14:04.320 I got a busy day that I got to go do some other stuff.
01:14:07.740 And this week is going to be busy.
01:14:09.680 I'm going to Vegas to interview.
01:14:11.560 Um, we got somebody coming up on the pod, so going to interview them and then going back
01:14:20.380 for the ayahuasca treatment this weekend.
01:14:22.780 So, you know, just a lot, a lot going on, getting out on tour next week.
01:14:28.480 And, um, yeah, still kind of high from that Superbowl is a long, you know, it was up late
01:14:34.340 and, uh, yeah, I don't know.
01:14:39.260 I'm feeling, I'm feeling pretty chill, man.
01:14:42.780 You know, I'm feeling grateful that I have things to do.
01:14:46.600 Uh, and, and this is where we are, baby.
01:14:52.260 This is where we are.
01:14:53.720 Um, yeah.
01:14:56.100 So I just want to thank everybody.
01:14:57.560 And, uh, what else?
01:15:00.900 That's it.
01:15:01.540 That's all we got.
01:15:03.900 I hope you're doing well and happy Valentine's day to you.
01:15:07.420 And, uh, I hope you get a little chocolate or something.
01:15:11.340 You know, I remember when I was young, my mom used to always give us these chocolates.
01:15:14.940 She would give us that little Russell Stover's daddy.
01:15:17.660 Damn.
01:15:18.160 That little bitch had about four, four in it, I think.
01:15:22.000 And one year we had a little bit of money.
01:15:23.560 She gave us that bitch has six in it.
01:15:25.480 Damn.
01:15:27.080 And I loved them all, except for the one with the strawberry cream in it.
01:15:30.400 I would trade that one to my younger sister.
01:15:33.560 Lie to her about what it was.
01:15:34.660 Oh yeah, you'll love this one.
01:15:38.020 And, uh, and that was what it was, baby.
01:15:42.520 That's, you know, that's, that's capitalism.
01:15:45.720 That's how it works.
01:15:47.480 Um, I think let's, let's get out of here the way that we came in, man.
01:15:51.400 I really liked this tune.
01:15:52.420 This is North Mississippi all stars.
01:15:54.240 Uh, I love you guys.
01:15:56.400 Uh, be good to yourself.
01:15:58.760 And damn, dude, I got to go to the Super Bowl, bro.
01:16:01.660 That's crazy.
01:16:03.020 So that's really, really, I never would have thought it.
01:16:06.660 If you'd have told me about the Super Bowl, I'd have said, damn, bro.
01:16:09.540 No way.
01:16:11.240 So, but that's not what I'm saying now.
01:16:12.900 Uh, you guys be good to yourselves, baby gang.
01:16:16.160 Let me holler at you, come on, step outside.
01:16:22.380 You got $10, don't you, then we gon' ride.
01:16:25.560 Let me holler at you, step outside.
01:16:29.740 Bumpin' the drunk out the drunk.
01:16:32.720 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
01:16:35.780 Ready, I'm there to dance floors.
01:16:39.000 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
01:16:40.720 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
01:16:46.160 Now we're cookin' with gas on the front burner.
01:16:49.680 Hot wind gas station down on the corner.
01:16:52.840 Cookin' with gas on the front burner.
01:16:57.020 Bumpin' the drunk out the drunk.
01:16:59.880 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
01:17:03.120 Ready, I'm there to dance floors.
01:17:06.200 Let's go get drunk outdoors.
01:17:10.500 If you got money, you can get a little beer.
01:17:13.560 If you got money, get that hitter.
01:17:16.940 If you got money, you can get a little beer.
01:17:20.080 If you got money, get that hitter.
01:17:27.760 Get that hitter.
01:17:29.360 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll
01:17:40.420 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to
01:17:45.100 pleasure your partner.
01:17:46.680 The answer may shock you.
01:17:48.400 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
01:17:50.460 Sometimes I won't.
01:17:52.160 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:17:55.060 You have three new voice messages.
01:17:57.680 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
01:18:01.000 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
01:18:03.680 Longer than anybody else.
01:18:05.340 So great.
01:18:06.700 Hi.
01:18:07.300 Sweetie.
01:18:08.260 Easy deal.
01:18:09.660 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
01:18:13.580 Jermaine.
01:18:14.860 Ho ho.
01:18:15.400 Hey, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
01:18:18.660 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
01:18:20.740 Ho ho ho.
01:18:22.020 No.
01:18:23.020 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.
01:18:25.460 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:18:29.640 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:18:33.860 Third rule.
01:18:34.820 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
01:18:37.480 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:18:39.360 And yes, don't worry.
01:18:40.940 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.