This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E395 Sal Vulcano

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00:00:30.220 Keeps. I'm trying to keep mine. 0.78

00:00:32.160 Trying to keep my hair right now.

00:00:34.260 Took my pills. I take them.

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00:01:10.380 I'm excited to let you hear this.

00:01:14.140 I will be in Savannah, Georgia, June 2nd.

00:01:16.980 I'm coming this week.

00:01:18.920 Augusta, Georgia, June 3rd.

00:01:21.500 Montgomery, Alabama, June 4th.

00:01:23.660 And over to Columbus, Georgia, June 5th.

00:01:26.780 I'm very excited to be there and see you guys.

00:01:29.700 As well, Hollywood, Florida, Fort Myers, Florida, Daytona Beach, and Lakeland, Florida.

00:01:37.380 That's June 23rd through June 26th.

00:01:39.980 Tickets on sale now at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.

00:01:46.260 Don't go through a different vendor.

00:01:48.720 Go through the TheoVaughn site so that you can get them correct.

00:01:54.940 Because otherwise, these people jack them up and they jack you over.

00:01:58.780 Today's guest is, well, we're not going to go too much into his history when he and I talk.

00:02:03.900 Because most of you, you should know him.

00:02:06.340 And if you don't know him, I'll just tell you now.

00:02:07.980 He's from Impractical Jokers, the television program heading into its 10, number 9 or 10 season.

00:02:15.180 And they've just, I mean, it's an American staple.

00:02:19.060 It really is.

00:02:19.920 If you don't like it, your cousin does or your grandmother does.

00:02:24.660 And he's part of that group, him and three of his friends.

00:02:28.760 And he's a buddy of mine.

00:02:31.620 I almost went on his cruise a few.

00:02:33.020 I did go on his cruise, shoot.

00:02:34.960 I just remembered and forgot.

00:02:36.940 I went on his Impractical Jokers cruise a few years ago.

00:02:40.600 He has two podcasts, one called Hey Babe with Chris DiStefano.

00:02:45.400 And another one called Taste Buds with Joe DeRosa.

00:02:50.440 I couldn't be happier to sit down with anyone.

00:02:53.280 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sal Volcano.

00:02:56.380 For me to set that parking brake and left myself on my eyes.

00:03:03.020 Shine that light on me.

00:03:09.080 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

00:03:14.320 Shine on me.

00:03:18.620 And I will find a song I've been singing.

00:03:22.760 And now I've been moving way too fast.

00:03:32.220 I'm okay.

00:03:32.820 I mean, I'm always, you know, trying to get better, man.

00:03:35.440 I've been leaning back into my sobriety program, so that's been helping me.

00:03:38.460 Okay.

00:03:39.180 And how's it going?

00:03:40.560 It's good.

00:03:41.280 It's starting to feel good.

00:03:42.360 It's just taking a while.

00:03:43.260 Where do you do that?

00:03:44.900 You know?

00:03:47.180 Here in LA?

00:03:48.100 Oh, yeah.

00:03:49.040 Are you back?

00:03:49.640 Are you here now?

00:03:51.360 Are you still?

00:03:52.180 I'm back and forth.

00:03:53.280 Okay.

00:03:53.700 So, yeah, I got me a house.

00:03:54.680 You split it?

00:03:55.660 Yeah, I would say it's probably split.

00:03:57.280 Yeah.

00:03:57.780 You got to go there like 51, like 183.

00:04:00.760 You got to legally be there.

00:04:01.960 It's almost like having to be in two places.

00:04:05.700 It's almost like whenever you see that baseball player and he has his foot on the back.

00:04:09.040 Yeah, and you're like waiting to steal?

00:04:10.280 Yeah.

00:04:10.460 You start to lead and then the IRS kind of checks the bag.

00:04:18.200 Dude, that's exactly what it's like.

00:04:21.280 So, it's definitely like relaxing there.

00:04:24.620 People are so friendly.

00:04:26.040 I get to have like a whole new walk of like socializing and meeting people.

00:04:31.840 Feel what it's like to be in a smaller environment.

00:04:35.520 Your move there was your first move there, right?

00:04:37.660 Like you weren't familiar with it prior to that?

00:04:40.280 Oh, I didn't know.

00:04:40.900 It's kind of – I can't even believe I did it.

00:04:42.640 I mean, I know I wanted to save tax money and then I always wanted to live there.

00:04:49.680 So –

00:04:50.040 It seems like a dope spot.

00:04:51.180 I love it every time I go.

00:04:52.480 Yeah, it's fun.

00:04:53.320 It's just – you know, it's not LA or New York, so it's just smaller.

00:04:56.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:57.860 Are you limited though with being able to work out and do spots and stuff like that?

00:05:03.560 Oh, yeah.

00:05:05.240 Right?

00:05:05.540 Because you got Zanies.

00:05:06.540 That's it.

00:05:07.560 And there's no like produced – there's no like bar or produced shows or anything like

00:05:12.240 that at all?

00:05:12.620 No.

00:05:12.680 There may – I don't think there's a big scene for them.

00:05:15.040 So it's just Zanies.

00:05:16.020 Yeah.

00:05:16.560 So when you're there for like weeks at a time, are you just going to Zanies every night

00:05:21.380 and just popping in or –

00:05:22.300 No, you can't really do that.

00:05:23.440 So you can kind of go – they have an open mic night or I'll do my own night.

00:05:28.100 Okay.

00:05:29.220 But it's like kind of – yeah, it's – that's the tough part is keeping the comedy going.

00:05:34.660 Right.

00:05:34.800 During the pandemic, it didn't matter because a lot of places weren't open anyway.

00:05:37.860 Right, right, right, right.

00:05:38.640 So –

00:05:39.360 But this keeps you probably sharp, especially the one that you do – when you just do it

00:05:42.820 yourself.

00:05:43.900 Yeah, that – I think that helps.

00:05:45.540 I mean, for me, really, comedy, I got to be on stage.

00:05:48.420 Yeah.

00:05:48.820 Yeah.

00:05:50.840 I got to be – I'll learn about it.

00:05:52.960 It's repetition.

00:05:53.760 Yep.

00:05:53.980 Like some people, they're more – they write the stuff and if it's a good – but I got

00:05:57.480 to be up there feeling it.

00:05:58.580 Yeah.

00:05:58.820 You write stuff down or no?

00:06:00.200 Ever?

00:06:01.240 Yeah, sometimes.

00:06:02.420 Yeah.

00:06:02.800 If I get my friends to laugh sometimes.

00:06:04.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:05.240 You know?

00:06:05.840 I'll write out like the big beats.

00:06:09.680 But like then if I haven't done – what I'll do is if I haven't done – during the pandemic,

00:06:12.900 I went back and transcribed everything.

00:06:14.940 Yeah.

00:06:15.720 Because it was just easier to get back into it after that long.

00:06:18.940 So I was like, I have a reference point any time I blank because I was getting back up and

00:06:22.980 missing whole chunks.

00:06:24.120 Oh, that's the worst.

00:06:25.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.260 So –

00:06:25.760 Yeah, the worst is like the other night I did a show and I got to the end of the show

00:06:28.740 and I almost wanted to run back out there because I forgot to do one of the best bits.

00:06:33.400 Like how did we –

00:06:34.480 Not even a tag?

00:06:35.420 A bit?

00:06:35.780 A full bit?

00:06:36.420 A full bit, man.

00:06:38.760 So I want to apologize.

00:06:40.480 I think that was in – I think that was in Midland, Texas, man.

00:06:44.300 I owe you guys a good joke.

00:06:45.640 But yeah, is it hard to separate like – do you find a tough time like doing stuff for

00:06:53.620 your show and then like getting into a different brain for comedy or not really?

00:06:57.220 Nah, I haven't compartmentalized, you know.

00:06:59.380 But what kind of gets tricky is like when I'm going to tour with the guys and like I'm

00:07:04.740 doing my tour right now through February.

00:07:06.960 So – but I can't – I usually don't tour at the same time.

00:07:10.480 I can but like really it's for like – because I can't sell tickets in the same market for

00:07:15.820 both tours, right?

00:07:16.840 So if one of them goes – like usually they take – the big one takes precedent.

00:07:21.360 Right.

00:07:22.160 And then when that's kind of through, I'll start mine or at least like six months into

00:07:26.120 it, I'll start the dates that were six months before it.

00:07:28.620 Oh, I see.

00:07:28.940 So it's like a rolling thing.

00:07:30.040 But since the pandemic, we didn't have our fifth tour written yet and I had mine.

00:07:34.080 And I had to cancel my tour from before the pandemic.

00:07:36.760 So now I've been on tour the whole year.

00:07:38.580 And we don't start with them until February.

00:07:40.660 So we're going to start writing that now.

00:07:42.880 That's stressful too because we don't do – write comedy the way that we would

00:07:48.500 individually.

00:07:49.660 So we got to do this like whole different process.

00:07:52.480 But they'll put up the sales, the tickets, before we even have a joke written.

00:07:56.540 So I get like massive anxiety.

00:07:59.400 Pressure.

00:07:59.680 This is like the fifth tour like over 10 years that that's happening.

00:08:02.940 And every two years when we're in this phase, I get like chest pains, like all the stress

00:08:10.340 manifests itself.

00:08:11.660 Yeah. 0.99

00:08:11.880 I get like shooting pains in my head and shit. 0.99

00:08:14.000 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:08:14.440 I've had that shit. 1.00

00:08:15.440 I go get EKGs, this, that, and stress. 1.00

00:08:17.400 Really?

00:08:17.880 And it's always this time.

00:08:19.380 Oh.

00:08:19.740 Because it's so nerve-wracking to have people buying tickets to a show that you haven't

00:08:23.740 written a joke to yet.

00:08:25.100 Can you imagine that?

00:08:26.020 It's like – I get like nauseous.

00:08:28.300 Yeah.

00:08:28.600 Yeah.

00:08:29.140 Well, I mean it's – I think it's nice because it says something about that you want to show

00:08:32.260 up with something legitimate for people.

00:08:34.380 Yeah.

00:08:34.640 You know, you want to actually show – you know.

00:08:36.380 Some people wouldn't care.

00:08:37.460 They're just like, yeah, sell them, whatever.

00:08:38.740 I'll get out there.

00:08:39.560 You know?

00:08:39.780 Yeah, but you got to –

00:08:40.620 I'll juggle.

00:08:41.480 Yeah, I know.

00:08:42.280 I know.

00:08:42.580 I know, but – I mean, you know, it's different too with other people.

00:08:47.060 Oh, yeah.

00:08:47.420 Yeah.

00:08:48.080 Yeah, I'm sure that it's a totally different energy out there.

00:08:51.240 Yeah, I know whenever you said you came in, you were taking your medicine, you said you

00:08:54.000 just started taking one.

00:08:55.700 Yeah, I started like – I guess it's got to be at least six months now.

00:08:58.940 Oh, wow.

00:08:59.540 Wellbutrin.

00:09:00.880 And you've been on there.

00:09:01.920 How wellbutrin is that gangster, baby?

00:09:03.920 Is it?

00:09:04.480 You told me that.

00:09:05.380 I didn't know.

00:09:05.920 It's the hit, man.

00:09:07.040 Really?

00:09:07.360 I think it is, bro.

00:09:09.060 Wellbutrin. 1.00

00:09:09.980 Damn. 1.00

00:09:10.300 I can feel that shit climbing up and down my cerebellum at night, bro. 1.00

00:09:14.300 Really? 1.00

00:09:14.860 Scaling the walls. 1.00

00:09:15.900 Yeah, wellbutrin, baby, damn, that shit. 1.00

00:09:18.040 You've been on it? 1.00

00:09:19.500 That shit keeps a hatchet on its hip, baby. 1.00

00:09:21.640 Really? 1.00

00:09:22.220 For me, it did.

00:09:23.120 Wellbutrin, I was doing – I started doing kind of some weird – like a little bit of

00:09:27.460 like – not weird stuff, but I like couldn't – I wasn't doing good.

00:09:32.780 I started spinning out.

00:09:33.840 Yeah.

00:09:34.560 But you feel good on it.

00:09:36.220 Yeah.

00:09:36.580 Well, I was spinning out before it.

00:09:38.480 Really?

00:09:38.700 Yeah, so I talked to a couple people.

00:09:41.440 A couple people I know were on it, so I was trying to tackle two things with my doctor.

00:09:45.740 One was the anxiety and depression, and the other one was my ADHD and OCD.

00:09:50.460 Oof.

00:09:51.220 So he's like, both of those could affect the other in some ways, and we got to treat one

00:09:56.540 at a time, because we got to figure out what you react well to and not.

00:10:01.380 So he's like, which one do you want to tackle first?

00:10:03.080 So I'm like, I've been living with ADHD and OCD forever, so I didn't even know I had it

00:10:11.200 until people started telling me, oh, no.

00:10:13.620 And then I realized, oh, you don't have to live this way.

00:10:16.820 I didn't even know that before. 0.96

00:10:18.040 I just thought it was normal to not remember anything, to have shit race into my mind at 0.96

00:10:23.660 all times. 0.95

00:10:24.740 You know what I mean?

00:10:25.120 All that stuff, that's the way I always can't focus on anything, but it's the way I've always

00:10:29.760 done it, so I just do it.

00:10:31.680 I just function with it.

00:10:32.680 Right.

00:10:32.880 You thought, this is who I am.

00:10:34.060 And then I had a really good friend tell me that he had all that stuff, and he gave me

00:10:37.520 a book, and I didn't read the book.

00:10:40.980 But he was like, I'm telling you, you don't have to live this way at all.

00:10:43.940 So I went, and I got a ... Years ago, I went, and when he gave me that book, and I said,

00:10:49.080 forget it, I'll go.

00:10:49.600 So I took a test, and they put straps on my wrists, ankles, and head.

00:10:55.420 Really?

00:10:55.840 And head? 0.74

00:10:56.640 Yeah.

00:10:58.040 Not straps hold me down, but like bands.

00:11:01.640 Wow.

00:11:02.060 Did you ever take ... You ever did anything like that, ADHD or anything?

00:11:05.040 I don't know.

00:11:05.640 I don't think I've had it.

00:11:06.520 I could have it, though.

00:11:08.360 I don't know.

00:11:09.340 So I went, right?

00:11:10.140 So I go in this little room, and they sit me in front of a computer, and they say, all

00:11:14.000 right, take the mouse, and they're like, you're just going to, for like 20, 25 minutes,

00:11:16.740 you're going to sit in here, and you're going to watch the screen.

00:11:18.680 And when you see a shape, click on the shape or whatever. 0.98

00:11:21.260 Like some real rudimentary shit. 0.93

00:11:23.200 So I was like, oh, yeah, all right, well, I guess. 1.00

00:11:24.920 So they put this shit on me. 0.99

00:11:26.040 I went in there 20 minutes, and I'm seeing a triangle. 1.00

00:11:28.360 I'm clicking.

00:11:29.060 A circle.

00:11:29.820 I'm clicking.

00:11:30.380 And I'm like, this is the easiest thing.

00:11:32.120 And I started to get worried, because I'm like, I'm acing this.

00:11:35.060 Right. 0.99

00:11:35.480 Like, they're going to tell me I don't have this shit. 1.00

00:11:37.760 Right. 0.99

00:11:38.100 And I'm here because I'm at my wit's end with it, and they're about to tell me I don't

00:11:41.480 have it.

00:11:42.220 Oh.

00:11:42.460 So I'm just clicking, clicking.

00:11:43.760 I'm like, I'm dominating.

00:11:45.020 God.

00:11:45.420 I thought I got 100, and then they came in, they took the thing, they took the print

00:11:49.680 out, they came back, they assessed me, and they go, you have severe ADHD.

00:11:54.700 Severe.

00:11:55.480 Wow.

00:11:55.920 So I don't know what the test really was.

00:11:58.320 I don't know if it was measuring my fidgeting, but I don't know how that's.

00:12:01.900 I really don't know how it works.

00:12:03.060 I should have asked.

00:12:03.620 So then they tried to give me, what's that stuff that, like, hyper-focuses you?

00:12:09.480 Oh, Ritalin?

00:12:10.600 No, the other one.

00:12:12.400 Oh, yeah.

00:12:12.920 Ritalin for adults?

00:12:14.880 Like, it's like speed.

00:12:17.740 It's crazy.

00:12:18.560 It's like people snort it, too.

00:12:21.260 Yeah, it's like very, very common.

00:12:22.960 I don't know why it's blanking.

00:12:23.900 Yeah, why can't we think of it?

00:12:25.060 It's like, I think it starts with a, what?

00:12:28.260 A?

00:12:29.000 Yeah, I think it starts with an A, dude.

00:12:30.620 Do you?

00:12:31.080 I don't know what it is.

00:12:32.080 Anybody?

00:12:33.380 Adderall.

00:12:34.940 Adderall. 1.00

00:12:36.060 Damn. 0.99

00:12:37.000 They gave me a time-release Adderall, 20 milligrams, whatever it is. 0.99

00:12:42.220 It's like a game show with drugs just now.

00:12:45.700 It's like that, what is that, okay, Blue Pill, you know?

00:12:51.460 It's like, wouldn't that be crazy?

00:12:54.300 That's the future, dude.

00:12:55.840 What, Viagra?

00:12:56.780 Oh, no, the future is just a game show with just people, just all the issues are drug names.

00:13:00.860 Just trying to win the drugs?

00:13:02.000 Yeah, Ovi-Tracks. 0.64

00:13:03.540 Yeah.

00:13:04.660 Go on, though.

00:13:05.220 I interrupted you, man.

00:13:05.960 No, man.

00:13:06.320 They gave me that.

00:13:07.000 And I said, you know, I don't really like taking any kind of drugs.

00:13:10.840 I mean, I smoke weed, but prescription.

00:13:12.620 And he's like, all right, here's what you do.

00:13:14.160 Take it on days you think you really need it.

00:13:16.340 That's it.

00:13:16.700 Like, you're going to have to just take it on days.

00:13:18.180 So I waited.

00:13:19.000 And then one day I had a day.

00:13:20.500 So I was like, let's try it.

00:13:21.500 I took it.

00:13:22.160 It was the worst experience.

00:13:23.340 It was terrible, dude.

00:13:24.900 On Adderall.

00:13:26.560 Yeah.

00:13:26.840 I stayed up for two days.

00:13:29.180 I didn't go to sleep.

00:13:30.080 Two days and sweating profusely for two days.

00:13:32.640 And you get dehydrated, too, on it.

00:13:34.300 That's the crazy thing.

00:13:35.480 Dude, so the first night came, and I was like wired all day.

00:13:40.860 And then my lady went to sleep.

00:13:42.300 And I was like, I'll be to sleep in a little while.

00:13:43.640 It was like the stereotypical thing. 0.99

00:13:44.900 I stayed up all night, cleaned the house, was scrubbing shit. 0.99

00:13:47.380 It was really stereotypical. 0.98

00:13:48.700 And then I started, like, my heart was beating on my chest.

00:13:51.860 I was pouring sweat.

00:13:53.880 I looked like I was jogging.

00:13:55.600 I was just in the house.

00:13:56.740 And I woke her up.

00:13:57.600 I'm like, this doesn't feel good, man.

00:13:59.600 And she's like, this is insane.

00:14:00.900 You know, whatever.

00:14:01.300 But then she had to go back to bed.

00:14:02.700 Oh, yeah.

00:14:05.720 But then I was like, oh, that's love right there.

00:14:08.840 Yeah.

00:14:09.320 Just take your.

00:14:11.600 No, she's like, you want to go to the hospital?

00:14:13.040 I was like, no.

00:14:14.080 And she's like, what do you want to do?

00:14:15.000 I'm like, there's nothing I can do.

00:14:16.900 I was like, I'm just going to keep cleaning.

00:14:17.920 But I want to do a puzzle.

00:14:20.400 I want to open a business.

00:14:22.300 Right.

00:14:23.120 And then.

00:14:23.960 Like, all right.

00:14:24.940 I'm going to go back to bed.

00:14:26.060 Wake me up in an hour, bro.

00:14:27.580 My friend, sometimes I'd be so coped out.

00:14:30.080 And I'd have him around.

00:14:31.120 I'd be like, bro, you got to come spend some time with me.

00:14:33.240 He'd come over.

00:14:34.220 And he'd be like, you're probably going to be fine, dude.

00:14:36.160 Wake me up in an hour.

00:14:37.740 That's what he would do. 1.00

00:14:38.420 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:14:41.540 Was it comforting just to know he was there? 0.99

00:14:43.320 I don't know, dude.

00:14:44.400 Just talking about his body.

00:14:45.860 Well, then I started tripping in circles because I'd be like, I'd finally start to fall asleep. 0.98

00:14:50.240 I'd be like, fuck, I got to wake this dude up in an hour, bro. 0.99

00:14:52.540 Now I got to. 0.99

00:14:54.020 Now you have a chore.

00:14:55.260 Now I got to stay up.

00:14:56.500 He came there and gave you a responsibility. 0.99

00:14:58.720 Yeah, now I got to stay up to wake this fucking creep up. 0.99

00:15:03.640 Yeah, man. 0.99

00:15:04.360 And then I thought I was going to fall asleep that night.

00:15:06.300 Uh-huh.

00:15:06.880 Didn't.

00:15:07.440 And I'm like, all right, someday, the next day, I'm going to crash.

00:15:10.440 I didn't.

00:15:10.860 I stayed up to two nights. 1.00

00:15:12.920 Damn, you're like Sully Sullivan or the pills. 1.00

00:15:15.720 Or whatever that guy's name is. 1.00

00:15:17.220 That pilot.

00:15:17.580 The guy who landed the plane?

00:15:18.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:15:19.720 Dude.

00:15:20.060 It will not crash, bro.

00:15:22.120 It will not crash.

00:15:24.880 That's funny, dude.

00:15:26.140 No, I took two days.

00:15:28.080 It was a time release formula, apparently.

00:15:30.420 And then I never took it again.

00:15:31.920 And then when I was getting on the Wellbuter, I was talking to my doctor now, who I trust way more, who is like my childhood.

00:15:38.140 I went to high school with him.

00:15:39.360 So trust him.

00:15:40.760 And he was like, whoever gave you that gave you the wrong dose, the wrong kind, the wrong everything.

00:15:45.800 He's like, that could be effective for you, but not in that way.

00:15:48.280 So he's like, let's start with the anxiety and depression because that was really predominant coming out of the couple of years that we had and all that stuff like that.

00:15:55.740 And I already live with that.

00:15:57.120 I already.

00:15:57.940 Just had that.

00:15:58.960 Yeah.

00:15:59.200 From growing up.

00:16:00.480 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:00.760 So I started with the Wellbuter.

00:16:04.380 I didn't feel nothing, but he said it'll take a few weeks.

00:16:06.500 And now I feel like kind of adjusted to it.

00:16:09.160 Yeah.

00:16:09.840 You know, it's hard.

00:16:10.920 It's like not a magic pill, they say.

00:16:12.280 And it's hard to sometimes discern.

00:16:14.060 Because it's not like I'm bulletproof now.

00:16:15.720 No.

00:16:16.400 I still like, you know, sometimes can't get out of bed.

00:16:19.380 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:19.700 Or still like, you know, I wake up and go to bed to my mind racing and worrying all day long about shit. 0.99

00:16:24.760 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:16:25.320 You know, but it is definitely better.

00:16:28.380 It is.

00:16:28.800 It was.

00:16:29.180 Yeah.

00:16:29.520 Yeah.

00:16:29.720 It's almost like I can kind of like, it's not as frequent and not as severe.

00:16:35.300 Yeah.

00:16:35.580 If that makes any sense.

00:16:36.900 Yeah.

00:16:37.280 I feel like it kind of puts like bumpers on things.

00:16:39.340 It's like.

00:16:39.660 Yeah.

00:16:40.000 You're still bowling and the balls are still, every ball is still going right in the thing all morning.

00:16:44.540 But there's bumpers on there.

00:16:45.960 Yeah.

00:16:46.060 It's like the sound is softer.

00:16:47.620 It doesn't hit as heavy.

00:16:48.740 Exactly.

00:16:49.620 Exactly.

00:16:49.940 Exactly right.

00:16:50.280 Yeah.

00:16:50.500 They kind of take away the symbols, you know?

00:16:52.460 Yeah.

00:16:53.620 So, yeah.

00:16:54.260 But I didn't know it was like.

00:16:55.380 Wow.

00:16:55.580 You said it was.

00:16:56.920 For me, it was crazy.

00:16:58.200 I remember I was trying to decide on something to do and I got into some like loop and I couldn't get out.

00:17:03.420 I couldn't make a decision.

00:17:04.700 And when I would make a decision, my brain would serve the same issue back to me.

00:17:08.880 Like I hadn't made a decision.

00:17:10.020 And so, yeah, just that medicine I had a bad reaction to.

00:17:13.640 So, right now I'm just on a low dose Lexapro right now.

00:17:17.280 I took that like a few years ago.

00:17:21.540 And same thing, low dose every day.

00:17:23.460 That was my first try of anything.

00:17:25.460 And that worked.

00:17:26.260 I felt that worked kind of pretty fast.

00:17:28.100 But then it affected.

00:17:29.700 Disappeared.

00:17:30.440 Yeah.

00:17:31.040 Yeah.

00:17:31.780 Sexually is no good.

00:17:33.280 Oh.

00:17:34.180 Well, see.

00:17:34.800 Thankfully, I've never been really great sexually.

00:17:36.980 So, it's like. 0.99

00:17:38.400 I'm fucking new. 0.97

00:17:39.160 I'm like, yeah. 0.99

00:17:39.840 I'll take the pills, dude. 1.00

00:17:41.900 Bro, I'll put a pill in the end of my penis. 1.00

00:17:45.960 I'll take the wiener lozenges. 1.00

00:17:47.780 You know what I'm saying, dude? 1.00

00:17:48.940 I'll take them 700 milligrams of Zoloft right to the head of my penis. 1.00

00:17:54.160 You know, it's just. 1.00

00:17:55.400 But, dude, I got a Zoloft.

00:17:57.760 Could we take medicine that way, though?

00:17:59.800 Oh, like.

00:18:00.280 People take suppositories.

00:18:01.760 Like a subpoena-tory?

00:18:02.820 Yeah, subpoena-tory.

00:18:03.880 That's nice.

00:18:04.440 That would be crazy.

00:18:05.100 We might have just invented something.

00:18:06.800 Dude, the last thing we want is, dude,

00:18:08.980 slipping off and stuffing pills up their wiener. 0.80

00:18:11.260 That's because it doesn't exist yet.

00:18:12.400 I don't think you know if you want it yet.

00:18:13.560 Yeah, you're right.

00:18:14.180 What if they, you know, 1.00

00:18:14.940 they're not stupid, the people that make these things. 1.00

00:18:17.040 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:17.420 What if they make it amenable?

00:18:19.200 What does amenable mean?

00:18:20.400 Like, it's just, you know,

00:18:21.320 it's not that bad.

00:18:24.040 You're okay with it.

00:18:24.940 You know?

00:18:25.220 Like, you're.

00:18:25.640 Oh, wow.

00:18:26.100 It's agreeable.

00:18:27.160 You know what I mean?

00:18:27.960 Yeah.

00:18:28.200 And then all of a sudden, like,

00:18:29.080 you just gotta, like, just.

00:18:30.460 Hey.

00:18:31.040 I mean, I don't know how that's easier

00:18:31.960 than putting in your mouth, but.

00:18:33.020 But what if somebody's hands.

00:18:33.840 It's more fun.

00:18:34.400 Burned, yeah.

00:18:35.360 That's true.

00:18:36.420 That's true.

00:18:36.600 It's a little more of a game show.

00:18:37.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:38.520 What if somebody,

00:18:39.220 your hands are burned or something,

00:18:40.500 you're at a bar and you have to have

00:18:41.560 your buddy stuff one up, you know?

00:18:43.180 That would be a problem.

00:18:44.380 Hey, Donnie, hit me with this.

00:18:45.780 Yeah.

00:18:45.900 I would switch back to oral.

00:18:46.840 Yeah.

00:18:47.120 Yeah.

00:18:47.680 Yeah.

00:18:49.060 Did you ever have to do suppositories

00:18:51.000 when you were growing up?

00:18:52.000 Yo, I remember them.

00:18:54.980 I don't remember if they went up me,

00:18:57.160 but they must have.

00:18:58.300 Yeah.

00:18:58.500 Because they went up my sister.

00:18:59.740 I know that.

00:19:00.220 Oh, wow.

00:19:00.500 Because one time,

00:19:01.440 my sister was real little.

00:19:02.420 She was, like, three.

00:19:03.860 And, like, my mom was trying to give her one.

00:19:05.800 And I forget why.

00:19:06.780 I don't know.

00:19:07.140 When we were sick.

00:19:07.780 I do a bit on this, actually,

00:19:09.040 about how they used to take our temperature 0.99

00:19:10.980 up our ass when we were little, too. 0.99

00:19:12.340 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:19:12.780 Which is fucking wild. 0.97

00:19:14.200 Right now, they have a laser gun. 0.99

00:19:15.720 Yeah.

00:19:16.420 You know? 1.00

00:19:16.760 And they used to stick that shit up our ass. 1.00

00:19:18.300 Like, I don't understand 1.00

00:19:19.040 what they were getting at.

00:19:19.960 It was definitely more Area 51 back then.

00:19:23.520 Right?

00:19:23.880 Yeah.

00:19:24.480 Like, I was like,

00:19:25.060 I don't know why my word to this woman 1.00

00:19:26.700 that I don't feel well isn't good enough.

00:19:28.940 Yeah.

00:19:29.180 Or feel my forehead, you know?

00:19:30.480 Yeah.

00:19:30.860 But then they'd be like, 1.00

00:19:31.780 no, let's stick this up your ass 1.00

00:19:33.720 against your will. 1.00

00:19:34.580 Let's go.

00:19:35.060 And really get to the bottom of it.

00:19:36.700 Let's really get that temp, you know?

00:19:38.720 Like, he feels warm,

00:19:39.620 but I want to know to the decimal. 1.00

00:19:41.740 So let's shove this glass rod up his anus. 1.00

00:19:44.820 Penetrate this sick bitch. 1.00

00:19:46.320 Or we'll never know if he needs a cough drop. 1.00

00:19:48.380 It doesn't make any sense.

00:19:49.600 You know what I mean?

00:19:50.780 Can you pull up suppositories?

00:19:52.460 Let's see what,

00:19:52.960 let's see some information on suppositories here.

00:19:55.040 I'm interested about that.

00:19:56.220 I hadn't thought of it in a while,

00:19:57.120 but when you said it,

00:19:57.920 an immediate memory came back to me

00:19:59.580 that I hadn't had in forever.

00:20:00.940 My mom's trying to give my sister one. 0.94

00:20:02.740 And, you know,

00:20:03.960 when you're young,

00:20:05.200 you know it's medicine,

00:20:06.060 but my sister's crying.

00:20:07.300 You know,

00:20:07.440 she didn't want that. 0.50

00:20:08.240 You know,

00:20:08.360 it's just weird all around.

00:20:09.660 It's very weird.

00:20:10.580 Right?

00:20:10.840 And so I remember being like getting that defensiveness for my sister.

00:20:14.520 Right?

00:20:14.880 And I was like,

00:20:15.720 I was like,

00:20:16.140 leave her alone. 1.00

00:20:16.940 You know,

00:20:17.140 like I was like,

00:20:17.780 she's like two or three years younger than me.

00:20:19.160 And I'm like,

00:20:19.960 stop.

00:20:20.440 She doesn't want to do it.

00:20:21.220 Leave her alone. 1.00

00:20:21.740 Like I'm breaking up.

00:20:23.260 Like I'm breaking up something.

00:20:25.020 Something like.

00:20:25.520 You're breaking up a sex crime.

00:20:26.920 Yeah.

00:20:28.060 And I remember telling your mom,

00:20:29.700 I was like,

00:20:29.860 stop.

00:20:30.580 She has to.

00:20:31.100 She has to.

00:20:31.260 I'm like,

00:20:31.540 no.

00:20:32.040 And then my big thing was I kept going,

00:20:34.340 like coming at the doorway and shutting the light.

00:20:37.020 Then they were in like pitch black.

00:20:38.880 And then she like, 0.85

00:20:39.740 stop it.

00:20:40.280 And she put on the light.

00:20:41.000 And then I run back and shut the light.

00:20:42.220 Like,

00:20:42.500 I'll save you.

00:20:44.360 It was like,

00:20:45.020 it's like,

00:20:45.720 dude,

00:20:45.980 that's the person practical joke.

00:20:48.920 You're like suppository, 0.93

00:20:50.760 but no lights.

00:20:54.900 Oh man.

00:20:55.700 And what they create and how to use medicine can get into your body.

00:20:59.040 A suppository is another way to deliver a drug,

00:21:01.380 small round or cone shaped object you put in your body,

00:21:04.320 often in your bottom.

00:21:06.020 What about the history of suppositories?

00:21:09.080 What is,

00:21:09.420 I mean,

00:21:09.820 give the history of them,

00:21:11.020 but who,

00:21:11.760 who said, 1.00

00:21:12.840 let's put this up your ass instead of just like swallow this. 1.00

00:21:17.000 Well, 1.00

00:21:17.440 because I think they didn't know.

00:21:19.480 Maybe they,

00:21:20.400 they might not have had as much science as to how quick things need to get

00:21:23.800 into your body.

00:21:24.640 Maybe that,

00:21:25.960 or that they could get into,

00:21:28.540 because I know the,

00:21:29.540 one of the colons like will really absorb stuff real fast.

00:21:33.060 Oh,

00:21:33.260 really?

00:21:33.720 Yeah.

00:21:33.920 Cause I think they pull all the vitamins and stuff out of your body.

00:21:36.520 Right.

00:21:37.160 So that's what they're doing with food.

00:21:38.660 Like they're really,

00:21:39.400 you know,

00:21:40.240 they're really,

00:21:40.720 it's a Royal rumble down there and they're pulling out all the vitamins.

00:21:43.320 So I think they're like,

00:21:44.600 Oh,

00:21:44.720 this will get the quickest into the bloodstream.

00:21:46.420 Okay.

00:21:46.940 Okay.

00:21:47.860 You know,

00:21:48.280 it's,

00:21:48.640 um,

00:21:49.200 sometimes you see,

00:21:50.260 uh,

00:21:50.660 someone,

00:21:51.240 they trying to tell you something,

00:21:52.280 you don't know what they're saying.

00:21:54.280 And that is because they are speaking another language. 0.90

00:21:57.640 And you might not realize it cause you don't know what's going on.

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00:24:42.360 King Henry II was wounded in a jousting accident.

00:24:45.660 His body could not retain fluid.

00:24:48.180 By mouth,

00:24:48.600 his doctors used a rectal suppository to keep the king alive. 0.92

00:24:52.460 Ass to mouth, 0.99

00:24:53.180 bro. 0.99

00:24:53.740 Did they?

00:24:54.640 Well,

00:24:54.860 he just said by mouth.

00:24:56.220 Oh,

00:24:56.540 yeah.

00:24:56.680 He used a rectal suppository,

00:24:58.460 which is very unorthodox.

00:25:00.640 Yeah,

00:25:01.040 I don't know what religion it is.

00:25:02.740 Like,

00:25:03.000 we have an,

00:25:03.500 I don't even know,

00:25:04.300 if there was a rectal suppository,

00:25:07.320 I,

00:25:07.580 and they tried to put it in my mouth.

00:25:08.920 I might even say,

00:25:09.720 you know what?

00:25:10.100 Just go rectal. 0.97

00:25:11.400 I don't want that in my mouth either. 1.00

00:25:13.140 We have to swallow so fast for it to get down to your butt anyway. 0.99

00:25:17.380 Some, 0.99

00:25:17.800 let me see.

00:25:18.400 Eight,

00:25:18.660 1897 glycerin suppositories in 1897 cocoa butter suppositories began to be mixed with water,

00:25:25.940 gelatin,

00:25:26.300 and glycerin for easier insertion.

00:25:27.800 At the end of the world war two suppositories began being made with hard,

00:25:31.100 uh,

00:25:32.680 fats.

00:25:33.960 The whole point was to make the suppository experience easier and more comfortable.

00:25:38.140 Huh?

00:25:38.280 Yeah,

00:25:38.460 well,

00:25:38.660 I got that.

00:25:39.480 There was a meeting and someone was like,

00:25:40.640 let's throw cocoa butter in there. 0.99

00:25:41.960 Yeah.

00:25:42.460 You know,

00:25:42.760 like a nice,

00:25:43.360 smooth,

00:25:43.780 fresh smelling inside.

00:25:45.160 Oh,

00:25:45.420 it's like a little,

00:25:46.120 it's like a, 1.00

00:25:46.780 it's like going to Maui for your butthole. 0.99

00:25:49.200 That's nice, 0.99

00:25:50.100 dude.

00:25:51.500 Uh,

00:25:51.880 it says enter it.

00:25:52.580 Let me live a little bit more here.

00:25:54.340 Suppositories.

00:25:55.540 Um,

00:25:57.440 the benefit of suppositories were known long before the 21st century,

00:25:59.980 but low quality capsules and liquids have given rise to the demand for suppositories.

00:26:04.960 Why isn't it called a depository?

00:26:07.460 Yeah.

00:26:08.420 Depository.

00:26:08.940 Huh?

00:26:09.120 Right.

00:26:09.920 Cause that's where you really,

00:26:10.920 that's where you deposit.

00:26:12.120 Right.

00:26:13.060 Yeah.

00:26:14.060 It makes sense.

00:26:14.860 I don't know what a suppository is.

00:26:16.720 Here's the,

00:26:17.260 here's what we,

00:26:17.640 here's our fact that we need.

00:26:18.740 It's like,

00:26:19.120 I suppose this may work.

00:26:20.420 Yeah.

00:26:23.920 We've been saying it wrong the whole time.

00:26:25.420 It's a suppository.

00:26:26.700 It's like,

00:26:27.260 here goes nothing.

00:26:27.940 Well, 0.98

00:26:32.640 you might die, 0.66

00:26:33.340 but I suppose we have one last thing to try.

00:26:37.880 Dude.

00:26:38.540 It's like,

00:26:39.140 that sounds like something that,

00:26:40.980 uh,

00:26:41.640 like,

00:26:42.280 um,

00:26:42.900 that sounds like,

00:26:43.940 like if you only have like a cheap insurance,

00:26:46.420 it's like,

00:26:46.860 this guy,

00:26:49.000 yeah.

00:26:51.260 It's like,

00:26:51.920 yeah.

00:26:52.380 Uh,

00:26:53.280 hold on.

00:26:54.200 Here's this last thing.

00:26:55.320 Um,

00:26:56.180 you got some magic beans.

00:26:57.480 When a liquid or capsule supplement reaches the stomach,

00:27:01.020 stomach acids will largely destroy the nutrients through the digestion process.

00:27:06.920 After the digestion process,

00:27:08.300 less than 10% of the capsule or liquid supplement will be absorbed in the bloodstream.

00:27:14.040 Um,

00:27:15.580 so they,

00:27:16.260 if you swallow,

00:27:17.040 yeah,

00:27:17.240 if you swallow through the stomach acids.

00:27:18.660 So they thought,

00:27:19.380 dang, 0.99

00:27:19.520 we're going to beat the stomach and go straight to the butt. 1.00

00:27:21.700 Okay. 0.99

00:27:22.460 Wow.

00:27:23.620 So,

00:27:24.500 Ooh,

00:27:24.760 that's the big one.

00:27:25.380 How long do you keep a suppository in?

00:27:27.880 Oh,

00:27:28.260 I thought you just put it in and forget about it.

00:27:30.720 Like a crock pot.

00:27:32.740 You know,

00:27:33.380 like I,

00:27:33.740 I thought you just put it in and it dissipates or melts.

00:27:37.440 I think you got to go back and get it.

00:27:39.120 Wait,

00:27:39.280 wait,

00:27:39.400 wait,

00:27:39.540 wait,

00:27:39.700 wait,

00:27:39.840 then am I confused on what's going on here?

00:27:41.940 You have to go back.

00:27:43.560 You've got to call it lost.

00:27:45.020 They got to go back and get it.

00:27:47.220 You better call your sister.

00:27:48.680 She might have a couple of loose in there that we, 0.98

00:27:50.560 I didn't know the process.

00:27:52.240 I thought it was like,

00:27:53.280 you put it in and then it just like when you swallow something,

00:27:55.840 you forget about,

00:27:56.700 you set it and you forget it.

00:27:57.800 Look,

00:27:58.360 if you use one more cooking term.

00:28:05.260 Oh man.

00:28:06.500 Oh God.

00:28:07.380 Wow.

00:28:07.800 Dude.

00:28:07.960 No,

00:28:08.100 I think you got to go back and get it.

00:28:09.520 If you pat your sister on the back,

00:28:10.940 does she rattle a little?

00:28:13.180 We might,

00:28:13.760 we all might have a few in us that we don't just banging around.

00:28:18.720 So then I really don't know how that works.

00:28:21.120 Oh,

00:28:21.340 you go half inch for infants and one inch for adults.

00:28:24.740 Hmm.

00:28:25.520 Oh,

00:28:25.760 there's a tool they used to do it.

00:28:27.320 See it.

00:28:27.780 Once the suppositor is completely melted,

00:28:30.460 Oh,

00:28:31.080 you can expect a bowel movement within 15 minutes to an hour.

00:28:35.300 Oh,

00:28:35.660 so how much?

00:28:36.600 Oh,

00:28:36.800 so you got to,

00:28:37.560 but Oh,

00:28:38.560 so maybe you,

00:28:39.240 you bowel it out,

00:28:40.320 you know,

00:28:42.980 but I don't understand.

00:28:44.100 What are you,

00:28:44.600 what are you taking back?

00:28:46.100 What are you getting back?

00:28:47.240 What's the exchange?

00:28:47.500 You get back the shell,

00:28:48.740 the shell case,

00:28:50.300 like the bullet.

00:28:51.120 Yeah,

00:28:51.640 I guess. 1.00

00:28:55.200 So you're not just putting the actual pill in your ass or whatever it is. 1.00

00:28:58.960 Like, 0.99

00:28:59.140 it's not just a pill that will then just like how we take vitamins or whatever.

00:29:03.380 Right.

00:29:03.720 Okay.

00:29:04.220 But yeah,

00:29:04.720 that looks like a,

00:29:05.580 I guess that's the way that it transports it.

00:29:07.460 It looks like a little bullet.

00:29:09.140 Yeah.

00:29:09.660 You know,

00:29:09.960 so you popping shells out there.

00:29:11.640 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:12.260 Damn. 1.00

00:29:13.240 Well, 1.00

00:29:14.020 well,

00:29:15.740 all right.

00:29:16.260 Did you ever think that you'd be on medication?

00:29:18.220 Were you against it?

00:29:20.000 Are you just never really gotten introduced to it the right way?

00:29:22.960 Same.

00:29:23.460 Yeah.

00:29:23.760 Yeah.

00:29:24.460 I don't know.

00:29:25.280 You just,

00:29:26.660 this,

00:29:27.060 I just look at prescription.

00:29:28.560 It's just like, 0.99

00:29:29.280 it's just fucked up. 1.00

00:29:30.960 Like the world we live in is fucked up by prescription medication. 1.00

00:29:33.440 You know, 0.99

00:29:33.760 the commercials are like, 1.00

00:29:34.580 you'll fucking die probably. 1.00

00:29:36.380 Or maybe. 1.00

00:29:37.060 So it's like,

00:29:37.680 all right,

00:29:37.960 just do I really,

00:29:39.520 maybe I'll just be depressed a little bit and then maybe not have diarrhea and maybe,

00:29:44.700 you know, 0.99

00:29:45.200 you're fit and you'll die. 0.95

00:29:46.920 Are your teeth falling out? 0.98

00:29:48.260 Yeah.

00:29:48.500 Oh,

00:29:48.880 it's always something like that.

00:29:50.160 Can you,

00:29:50.580 can you,

00:29:51.100 if you can't stop putting on hats,

00:29:53.140 it's like,

00:29:53.540 what?

00:29:54.560 There's something for everything.

00:29:55.460 That's crazy.

00:29:56.180 Because a buddy of mine couldn't stop putting on hats.

00:29:58.540 Really?

00:29:58.940 Yeah.

00:29:59.220 And he was going,

00:29:59.860 he was driving,

00:30:00.340 he was going nuts with it.

00:30:01.500 Oh.

00:30:02.000 So he went and got that.

00:30:03.720 No,

00:30:03.920 I mean,

00:30:04.080 you know.

00:30:04.900 Dude,

00:30:05.220 a buddy of mine.

00:30:06.300 Oh,

00:30:06.480 you are?

00:30:07.280 Yeah.

00:30:07.840 You know,

00:30:08.180 I have a friend who just couldn't stop putting on hats.

00:30:11.680 Yeah,

00:30:12.040 for sure.

00:30:12.860 No,

00:30:13.440 there was a medication for it.

00:30:15.960 I wouldn't be shocked,

00:30:17.160 dude.

00:30:18.500 I wouldn't be shocked.

00:30:20.140 Yeah.

00:30:20.860 Or,

00:30:21.140 you know,

00:30:21.540 some type of attention disorder or something.

00:30:23.920 Oh,

00:30:24.080 right,

00:30:24.220 right,

00:30:24.360 right,

00:30:24.480 right.

00:30:25.080 You know,

00:30:25.580 I didn't know how a tampon worked for most of my life.

00:30:28.400 Really?

00:30:29.120 Yeah,

00:30:29.360 because I never really saw it in action.

00:30:31.620 Yeah.

00:30:31.920 Just like the bullet,

00:30:32.760 you know.

00:30:32.860 Which is great.

00:30:33.760 Yeah.

00:30:34.320 And what?

00:30:35.180 That you hadn't seen it in action.

00:30:36.380 Yeah,

00:30:36.620 there's no need.

00:30:37.260 It's fine.

00:30:37.600 No,

00:30:37.840 there's no need.

00:30:38.500 You know,

00:30:38.940 there's no need.

00:30:39.420 But I remember one of my friends blew my mind,

00:30:41.280 because I just thought you put the whole thing in there.

00:30:44.600 And,

00:30:45.100 you know,

00:30:45.340 that's that.

00:30:45.980 Yeah.

00:30:46.200 But no,

00:30:47.120 that is also just a receptacle,

00:30:48.940 that bullet.

00:30:49.800 Hmm.

00:30:50.500 Did you know that?

00:30:52.240 Like,

00:30:52.620 do you know how that works?

00:30:53.120 You know,

00:30:53.320 I never really thought about it.

00:30:54.920 Yeah,

00:30:55.060 I guess there's a retrieval process,

00:30:56.660 huh?

00:30:57.160 Yeah,

00:30:57.460 I think that you,

00:30:58.300 you put it in and then you,

00:31:00.220 that plastic thing it's in,

00:31:01.520 I thought that used to go in there.

00:31:02.660 Yeah.

00:31:03.320 That just comes out of the way,

00:31:05.180 and it's just like a little like,

00:31:06.220 like cotton ball at the end of a rope.

00:31:08.040 Oh.

00:31:08.760 Yeah.

00:31:09.860 Wow.

00:31:10.640 So it's not as,

00:31:12.540 it doesn't sound as,

00:31:16.200 it sounds a little more simpler.

00:31:18.440 It is simple.

00:31:19.260 Right.

00:31:19.600 Yeah.

00:31:19.740 I thought there was technology too.

00:31:21.160 I thought they really had a real,

00:31:22.680 like a,

00:31:23.120 almost like,

00:31:23.820 like those braces or somebody that has like a bad jaw.

00:31:27.520 You know,

00:31:27.660 I thought they had a little bit more of a template going on there.

00:31:30.560 Yeah,

00:31:30.780 me too.

00:31:31.380 Huh.

00:31:31.680 I thought it was like,

00:31:32.200 you know,

00:31:32.360 there's nails that you put into the wall that they, 0.93

00:31:34.660 once they go in,

00:31:35.480 they spread out.

00:31:36.320 So they can't come back.

00:31:37.720 Yeah.

00:31:37.840 I thought like you put it in there and the plastic like opened up and I was like,

00:31:41.060 and that's what kept it.

00:31:41.760 Yeah.

00:31:41.940 It shuts it down.

00:31:42.480 And then you had to pull it with the rope.

00:31:43.700 Yeah.

00:31:44.040 Yeah.

00:31:44.220 But it's not,

00:31:45.020 it literally is just like a cotton ball at the end of a string.

00:31:48.200 It should come with a little sign they put on their leg.

00:31:50.240 It's like,

00:31:50.480 go around,

00:31:51.300 you know,

00:31:51.760 or like,

00:31:53.140 uh,

00:31:53.940 uh,

00:31:55.000 seats taken,

00:31:56.260 you know,

00:31:56.680 it should be like,

00:31:58.880 uh,

00:31:59.200 like,

00:32:00.100 uh,

00:32:00.280 almost like,

00:32:00.940 uh,

00:32:01.300 uh,

00:32:01.940 what do you call those Chinese?

00:32:03.060 What do you call those things?

00:32:03.940 A fortune cookie.

00:32:05.480 There's just a little fortune on it.

00:32:06.920 Oh,

00:32:07.200 winning numbers.

00:32:09.900 Just make it fun,

00:32:11.020 you know,

00:32:11.220 because it's already tough.

00:32:12.760 You know,

00:32:13.280 when,

00:32:13.380 when that,

00:32:13.720 when that thing comes around,

00:32:14.520 it's already tough.

00:32:15.400 It's cramps.

00:32:16.180 It's,

00:32:16.440 I would hate it.

00:32:17.600 I would hate it.

00:32:18.620 Oh,

00:32:18.860 if I had to have it.

00:32:20.260 Thank God.

00:32:20.980 I don't imagine if every once a month you ate a really bad chicken sandwich,

00:32:25.520 dude,

00:32:25.760 and it wouldn't leave you for like a week.

00:32:28.320 Yeah.

00:32:28.900 I can't imagine it.

00:32:29.800 And it got,

00:32:30.440 say it got lodged into your bowels and started flapping its wings,

00:32:33.880 dude.

00:32:35.060 That's what's up.

00:32:35.800 That's what I heard.

00:32:36.400 It's like my friend's daughter used to work at a chicken sandwich.

00:32:40.460 The,

00:32:40.820 my friends owned a chicken sandwich place and his daughter used to work there.

00:32:44.680 And she told me that one time and it blew my mind.

00:32:46.900 She told you that.

00:32:48.460 She goes,

00:32:48.980 imagine if you had a really bad chicken sandwich and then it got once a month

00:32:51.980 and it got lodged in your bowels and started flapping its wings.

00:32:55.720 I was like,

00:32:56.340 wow.

00:32:56.820 And she,

00:32:57.920 her father owned the chicken place.

00:32:59.280 So,

00:32:59.840 so they have,

00:33:02.100 you know,

00:33:02.540 that's,

00:33:03.080 that's good knowledge.

00:33:05.800 I feel like,

00:33:06.540 um,

00:33:07.200 right.

00:33:08.920 You know,

00:33:09.280 she,

00:33:09.480 she might have firsthand knowledge of a bad chicken sandwich.

00:33:12.480 Right.

00:33:12.900 And she's like,

00:33:13.400 this is exactly what it's like.

00:33:14.620 Oh,

00:33:15.020 I mean,

00:33:15.500 yeah,

00:33:16.180 that's a good way to describe it.

00:33:17.700 Dude.

00:33:18.140 I had a buddy who bit into a,

00:33:19.820 who ate one of those subway.

00:33:21.960 Uh,

00:33:23.040 I had a friend who ate a Starbucks sandwich and he couldn't,

00:33:26.840 couldn't,

00:33:27.120 can't open his eyes.

00:33:28.180 He's in like a lawsuit actually.

00:33:29.840 Can you look that up?

00:33:32.940 Man can't see after a Starbucks sandwich or something like that.

00:33:36.340 He made the paper.

00:33:37.180 Huh?

00:33:37.500 Your friend made it.

00:33:38.640 Oh,

00:33:38.940 uh,

00:33:39.100 yeah.

00:33:39.280 I mean,

00:33:39.500 I'm sure there's gotta be something on it.

00:33:41.540 Oh,

00:33:41.960 all right.

00:33:42.640 But he, 0.99

00:33:43.100 he hadn't been able to see since he had this fucking sandwich. 1.00

00:33:48.080 That's the most insane thing I've ever heard in my life. 1.00

00:33:51.240 What did he,

00:33:52.060 which,

00:33:52.320 which sandwich?

00:33:53.800 Let me start with the staff.

00:33:55.400 What do we have here?

00:33:56.280 I think it was the impossible one.

00:34:00.000 I mean,

00:34:00.760 it's apropos.

00:34:03.100 Yeah.

00:34:03.460 That's a good point.

00:34:04.060 If you put that in the title though,

00:34:05.280 does that cover you?

00:34:06.320 Does that cover you legally?

00:34:07.520 We said like anything can happen with this,

00:34:09.260 you know,

00:34:09.460 don't,

00:34:10.420 you're not going to believe this,

00:34:11.620 but I know it's going to sound impossible,

00:34:13.780 but the chance you might lose your vision.

00:34:16.380 No,

00:34:16.820 I mean,

00:34:17.220 that's,

00:34:17.940 I mean,

00:34:18.480 Starbucks,

00:34:19.840 your,

00:34:20.180 your buddy's going to be like,

00:34:21.940 your buddy's going to own Starbucks.

00:34:23.860 He might own one or two.

00:34:25.260 I don't know how much it costs you to do the thing to do the what's it

00:34:30.240 called when you give them out,

00:34:31.220 but you make people pay for them.

00:34:33.220 The businesses you give them out or,

00:34:36.460 you know,

00:34:36.700 it's like,

00:34:37.260 um,

00:34:38.940 Oh,

00:34:39.140 franchise franchise.

00:34:40.120 Yeah.

00:34:40.200 Okay.

00:34:41.500 He's going to get a franchise out of it.

00:34:43.480 I don't know.

00:34:44.900 People sue.

00:34:45.660 I mean,

00:34:45.840 look,

00:34:46.060 there's been a,

00:34:46.680 there's certainly been people that have had things happen and what they

00:34:50.360 wanted in the lawsuit was the actual business.

00:34:52.600 Yeah.

00:34:53.000 Like that Seinfeld episode with Jackie Childs.

00:34:55.880 He gets coffee spilt on him and they give him a free coffee for life.

00:34:58.060 He's like,

00:34:58.260 I'll take it.

00:35:00.880 Uh,

00:35:01.240 that's wild,

00:35:01.960 man.

00:35:02.560 But yeah,

00:35:03.180 man,

00:35:03.400 the,

00:35:03.640 uh,

00:35:03.960 would you,

00:35:04.280 would you,

00:35:04.820 would you,

00:35:05.460 what sense would you lose if you had to lose one?

00:35:07.740 Got to be smell,

00:35:08.500 right?

00:35:08.780 Let me think.

00:35:10.320 Yeah.

00:35:10.640 I already can't smell that good.

00:35:11.740 So I would probably do site would be so hard,

00:35:14.120 man.

00:35:14.440 Right.

00:35:15.600 It'd be so.

00:35:16.180 You go in sight or sound first.

00:35:17.680 If you had to choose sound,

00:35:23.060 you,

00:35:24.300 you lose sound first.

00:35:25.420 Cause you could always just guess what's happening.

00:35:29.160 Yeah.

00:35:29.560 And you could use,

00:35:30.220 you could sign language.

00:35:31.260 Yeah.

00:35:31.500 Guess the sounds.

00:35:33.180 Okay.

00:35:34.620 You mean like if you saw a band,

00:35:36.400 you'd know like the sound that was making.

00:35:38.740 Yeah. 0.99

00:35:38.920 And also if they suck, 0.99

00:35:39.960 you can just play your favorite song in your head. 0.97

00:35:43.680 Well,

00:35:44.060 people like are very capable that are deaf,

00:35:47.260 you know,

00:35:47.500 like they live normal lives.

00:35:49.280 Right.

00:35:49.640 I guess blind people do too,

00:35:50.740 but yeah,

00:35:50.960 I think I would lose.

00:35:53.060 I don't know,

00:35:53.720 man, 0.88

00:35:53.900 that's gotta be so fucking tough, 0.97

00:35:55.680 but smell could smell. 1.00

00:35:57.340 Fuck it. 1.00

00:35:57.740 Right. 1.00

00:35:57.960 I mean like I would just be like,

00:35:58.940 take the smell.

00:35:59.680 Yeah.

00:35:59.900 Take it.

00:36:00.440 I know someone who was born without a sense of smell.

00:36:03.000 It fascinates me.

00:36:03.980 They never smelled the thing.

00:36:05.260 Oh yeah.

00:36:06.520 Isn't that wild?

00:36:07.380 Yeah.

00:36:07.560 It's unbelievable.

00:36:08.180 Guy who's to work with.

00:36:09.740 You think it helps him or do you think it makes things,

00:36:12.380 does he seem different?

00:36:13.300 Do you have any more intel on him?

00:36:15.380 I know him.

00:36:16.520 So he's,

00:36:17.200 I would never,

00:36:17.660 you would never know it ever until he told us.

00:36:20.160 And he was born that way.

00:36:22.500 Like,

00:36:22.760 so he's never smelled a thing and you know,

00:36:26.660 you wouldn't know it,

00:36:27.340 but like,

00:36:27.720 I don't know,

00:36:28.180 I guess in that way you don't know what you're missing.

00:36:31.100 Yeah.

00:36:31.500 I would think,

00:36:32.240 but food can't be as good.

00:36:33.720 It's cause it's things that are a sensory experience,

00:36:36.540 you know,

00:36:36.820 like he doesn't experience,

00:36:39.080 you know,

00:36:39.400 if you,

00:36:39.700 if you just took a shower and you were cologned up or something like that.

00:36:42.780 Yeah.

00:36:43.460 Just your natural musk.

00:36:44.960 Yeah.

00:36:45.300 You know,

00:36:45.640 your pheromones,

00:36:46.360 he might not even fall in love with you and you might have the best pheromones out there. 0.97

00:36:48.880 Oh my God.

00:36:49.740 Cause pheromones go through your nose.

00:36:51.260 I think.

00:36:52.860 Can you look that up please,

00:36:54.260 sir?

00:36:55.240 How do we know about pheromones?

00:36:57.600 But he's never like,

00:36:58.700 you know,

00:36:59.640 coffee in the morning or bacon cooking or garlic for a spaghetti sauce or something like that.

00:37:05.480 So now bacon cooking,

00:37:07.640 breakfast cooking, 1.00

00:37:08.700 that would fuck, 1.00

00:37:09.620 that would hurt a little, 1.00

00:37:10.600 man. 0.99

00:37:10.760 When you know that somebody gave a fuck enough in the, 1.00

00:37:14.280 in the house to heat up a damn grill. 0.99

00:37:16.420 When you wake up that way, 1.00

00:37:17.600 it's like already a good day.

00:37:19.280 You're like,

00:37:19.700 that's those little things.

00:37:21.580 He's never experienced.

00:37:22.420 Isn't that wild?

00:37:23.320 Yeah.

00:37:25.620 Best smells.

00:37:27.740 Best smells.

00:37:28.380 I think definitely something cooking.

00:37:30.740 And you're saying something like with garlic,

00:37:32.360 that does smell good.

00:37:33.860 Bacon smells good.

00:37:34.940 Breakfast smells good.

00:37:36.580 Bakeries.

00:37:37.620 We're going to pass a bakery. 1.00

00:37:38.660 I want to punch somebody in the mouth. 1.00

00:37:41.100 Ooh. 1.00

00:37:42.180 Bakery.

00:37:44.060 Carnivals,

00:37:44.560 I feel like have a smell like,

00:37:46.000 when's the last time you went to a carnival?

00:37:47.700 Oh,

00:37:47.940 I went to one.

00:37:48.540 Oh dude,

00:37:48.960 I'll tell you this.

00:37:49.660 I went to one a while back and they had the roller thing or the spinning wheel went through.

00:37:55.980 They had a bee's nest up there,

00:37:57.660 dude.

00:37:57.840 So it's just every time it goes around.

00:38:00.140 What,

00:38:00.320 you mean like a Ferris wheel?

00:38:01.820 The Ferris wheel.

00:38:02.840 God.

00:38:02.940 No way.

00:38:03.900 There was a bee's nest on top?

00:38:05.520 No,

00:38:05.800 not on top of the thing,

00:38:06.880 but up in one of the trees up there.

00:38:08.360 So every now and then,

00:38:09.260 no way. 0.98

00:38:10.000 Zapped the fuck out. 1.00

00:38:11.020 Oh shit. 1.00

00:38:14.300 That's hysterical. 1.00

00:38:15.620 That's terrorizing.

00:38:16.780 Dude,

00:38:17.060 it was.

00:38:17.180 Cause you know that guy ain't stopping.

00:38:18.740 You know,

00:38:18.900 it's like,

00:38:19.120 please stop it.

00:38:20.300 Remember when you were a kid and you went on,

00:38:21.460 you were like,

00:38:21.740 please stop it. 1.00

00:38:22.520 They didn't stop that shit. 1.00

00:38:25.140 I think that dude had no sense. 1.00

00:38:26.720 He was like that chef from the Muppets.

00:38:30.480 I don't think that guy had any.

00:38:33.000 He had no senses.

00:38:34.340 And remember the,

00:38:35.280 um,

00:38:36.020 the,

00:38:36.280 the spinning around one with the,

00:38:38.480 um,

00:38:38.700 Gravitron.

00:38:39.520 Remember that?

00:38:39.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:40.040 I wouldn't fuck with that one. 0.99

00:38:41.260 I can't. 1.00

00:38:41.880 No,

00:38:42.020 no,

00:38:42.120 I can't.

00:38:42.840 You did.

00:38:43.500 Oh,

00:38:43.900 we're like your centrifugal force kept you on a thing.

00:38:46.260 That's the, 0.99

00:38:46.820 and then it would lift up and some of them would tilt and shit. 0.99

00:38:49.220 To me, 0.98

00:38:49.800 that's this things that are fun.

00:38:51.740 Like I'll do a scrambler.

00:38:53.460 Ooh,

00:38:53.900 scrambler was hard.

00:38:55.080 Scrambler is what I could do,

00:38:56.100 but that just spin around and just see your whole equilibrium.

00:38:59.380 Like,

00:38:59.780 I didn't see the point of that whatsoever.

00:39:01.400 And that's the one where people would throw up and just,

00:39:04.200 it would spray everybody.

00:39:05.620 And you ran that risk.

00:39:06.860 If you went on that.

00:39:07.500 And I saw that.

00:39:08.700 I saw that often.

00:39:09.800 You saw that often.

00:39:10.780 Oh yeah.

00:39:11.560 There was one,

00:39:12.360 there's the outdoor one,

00:39:13.260 but there's,

00:39:13.640 then there's the one where you go in,

00:39:14.680 it looks like a UFO.

00:39:15.540 And then you ain't getting out of there at all.

00:39:18.400 You know what I mean?

00:39:18.960 Like,

00:39:19.280 yes.

00:39:19.860 The guy in the middle was always playing rock and roll.

00:39:22.220 Oh yeah.

00:39:22.660 And this dude bus was all perved out,

00:39:24.800 dude. 1.00

00:39:24.980 And he would get his fucking wiener out, 1.00

00:39:27.040 bro. 1.00

00:39:27.280 And you couldn't help,

00:39:28.200 but look at it.

00:39:28.920 So he like,

00:39:29.420 had you trapped and like this,

00:39:30.780 like wiener vision.

00:39:31.700 Kind of.

00:39:32.240 Did you think like,

00:39:32.980 maybe cause you were going so fast,

00:39:34.420 you just caught a glimpse.

00:39:35.500 Maybe you're like,

00:39:35.980 maybe I'm just seeing something.

00:39:37.180 Totally.

00:39:37.660 So this guy's tricking everybody.

00:39:39.200 Yeah.

00:39:39.540 So it's a perfect job for him.

00:39:40.880 Perfect job.

00:39:42.140 Instead of having to be a peep in time,

00:39:43.820 you're just bringing them all to you.

00:39:45.160 Right.

00:39:45.460 You know?

00:39:45.840 And it's just a blur.

00:39:46.780 And you're like,

00:39:47.000 was that his,

00:39:47.600 was that his,

00:39:48.240 was that his?

00:39:49.320 And then,

00:39:50.100 then you get off,

00:39:50.660 you throw up.

00:39:51.080 You don't even,

00:39:51.600 you know,

00:39:51.840 you're just too sick to worry about it.

00:39:54.680 Yeah.

00:39:54.820 There was that other one.

00:39:55.640 You remember the one,

00:39:56.480 I think it was called like,

00:39:57.260 it's called different things,

00:39:58.500 but maybe like the avalanche or something.

00:40:00.300 So it's,

00:40:01.040 you get in a cart,

00:40:02.200 right?

00:40:02.420 So me and you are sitting together to maybe two behind us.

00:40:05.400 Okay.

00:40:05.680 And then it goes in a circle,

00:40:06.740 but it goes up and down in a circle.

00:40:08.700 It's outside.

00:40:12.140 Like the old school ones full of avalanche.

00:40:14.620 Can we see what we're seeing here,

00:40:15.680 brother?

00:40:16.000 And it goes in a circle,

00:40:17.120 but it goes up and down in a circle and it starts going faster and faster.

00:40:21.700 And they're playing like,

00:40:22.760 you know,

00:40:23.220 hip like jukebox hero and they're blasting it.

00:40:26.100 And it's, 0.99

00:40:26.860 so what happens is the person on the outside gets fucking crushed, 0.98

00:40:29.920 but you're laughing. 0.99

00:40:31.320 And then they do it in reverse.

00:40:33.060 You never did this one.

00:40:34.360 This is like,

00:40:35.220 this is a,

00:40:35.780 this is a very popular one.

00:40:37.320 The avalanche.

00:40:38.780 Yeah.

00:40:39.000 This is it.

00:40:40.240 Oh no,

00:40:40.840 that,

00:40:41.160 not that one.

00:40:42.540 It goes in a circle.

00:40:44.360 The zipper.

00:40:45.300 Oh,

00:40:45.320 that right there.

00:40:45.840 See that?

00:40:46.280 See that one right there to the bottom down. 0.94

00:40:48.880 Yeah.

00:40:49.000 That's it.

00:40:50.020 Maybe it's,

00:40:50.500 I always thought it was something like the snow storm or the avalanche or

00:40:53.280 whatever.

00:40:53.560 Oh,

00:40:53.700 that's the,

00:40:54.200 uh,

00:40:56.280 and all these things are always under the shadiest LLCs because these things

00:41:01.620 are just waiting for us.

00:41:02.860 See how it goes up and down.

00:41:04.160 Like the Himalaya,

00:41:05.320 the Himalaya.

00:41:06.240 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:06.680 Damn. 1.00

00:41:08.460 That thing was fun. 1.00

00:41:09.400 I would do that one.

00:41:10.340 That Himalaya daddy. 1.00

00:41:11.340 Damn. 1.00

00:41:11.680 I remember, 0.99

00:41:12.260 um,

00:41:14.380 they had,

00:41:15.460 um,

00:41:16.180 the zipper was the scariest one and people would, 0.99

00:41:20.040 damn, 0.99

00:41:20.280 I mean, 1.00

00:41:20.520 just people would be vomiting up ejaculate. 0.97

00:41:23.420 I mean,

00:41:23.620 people were just getting so sick on that and rattled.

00:41:26.040 I don't know.

00:41:27.500 Oh,

00:41:27.660 that.

00:41:28.040 Oh yeah.

00:41:28.500 See,

00:41:28.820 I wouldn't do that either.

00:41:29.880 Oh,

00:41:30.160 that's when those things are flipping and sliding.

00:41:32.400 So it's three things,

00:41:33.380 right?

00:41:33.640 It's going around,

00:41:34.840 but then those things are sliding themselves.

00:41:37.600 And then the individual pods are circling.

00:41:41.880 Oh yeah.

00:41:42.300 So it's triple.

00:41:43.400 That,

00:41:43.760 that to me,

00:41:44.400 I don't,

00:41:44.660 I don't even understand that.

00:41:45.560 I don't even understand how anyone would want to go on that.

00:41:48.660 Yeah.

00:41:49.020 Because you don't have any,

00:41:50.400 there's no real sense.

00:41:51.640 I don't feel like a joy. 1.00

00:41:52.760 It's just a total sense of a fuck you. 1.00

00:41:55.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:55.400 Endure it.

00:41:56.100 Yes.

00:41:56.440 You know what I mean?

00:41:57.120 Like,

00:41:57.340 that's what it's like.

00:41:58.040 It's like,

00:41:58.440 Hey,

00:41:58.620 endure this.

00:41:59.380 It looks like it would be like a,

00:42:00.820 you know,

00:42:01.440 a torture trap or something like that.

00:42:04.060 Yeah.

00:42:04.400 It's very,

00:42:05.660 it does have a very German vibe to it.

00:42:08.620 You see,

00:42:09.120 you hear,

00:42:09.560 you know,

00:42:09.900 you know,

00:42:10.140 when you go to a carnival and everything, 0.99

00:42:11.360 they just pull up with like the trucks and they open them up and they'd start building that shit, 0.99

00:42:14.400 like in a parking lot. 0.99

00:42:15.260 Oh yeah.

00:42:15.600 Like those,

00:42:16.120 like not like six flags,

00:42:17.160 like those.

00:42:17.880 Yeah.

00:42:18.260 Those are,

00:42:18.980 those are crazy shady. 0.98

00:42:20.280 You said like the LLCs and the people running them are just drug addicts, 0.97

00:42:23.760 like guys, 0.99

00:42:24.300 like stoners,

00:42:25.020 just straight stoners.

00:42:25.800 And like,

00:42:26.300 I've seen one where the truck was like losing balance.

00:42:28.900 You see them on,

00:42:29.740 you could YouTube them all the time.

00:42:31.360 Like that,

00:42:31.900 the avalanche,

00:42:32.740 like you see it,

00:42:33.480 like almost going to,

00:42:34.160 and then people jump on it to weigh it down.

00:42:36.000 People are saving people all the time.

00:42:37.440 Oh,

00:42:37.620 you see like they're on the swings and then you just see someone launch off the swings.

00:42:41.660 Now,

00:42:42.000 how does that not close the swings down for life?

00:42:45.160 Like the guy tried to light his shoes on a plane.

00:42:47.700 It didn't even work 20 years ago.

00:42:50.240 We take off our shoes right now.

00:42:51.700 People are being launched from those swings like every few days.

00:42:55.220 And they still do it.

00:42:56.860 There's no rules.

00:42:58.620 Cause look,

00:42:59.360 I think like,

00:43:00.280 I think there's part of you that wants to see that.

00:43:04.900 I think if you get thrown on that thing,

00:43:06.620 you want to almost get thrown again to see how far you can go.

00:43:10.040 You want to beat your distance debt.

00:43:11.840 Yeah.

00:43:12.560 You know, 1.00

00:43:13.200 you are dead.

00:43:14.420 Google.

00:43:14.920 What percentage of people die from a carnival accident?

00:43:20.740 That's a stat.

00:43:22.180 Oh yeah.

00:43:22.740 You don't percentage of people die out of the people on the earth.

00:43:25.520 It's going to be low or people that get into the accidents.

00:43:28.720 You know what I'm talking about,

00:43:29.680 brother?

00:43:30.020 How often would someone get into an accident on this thing?

00:43:33.280 Yeah.

00:43:34.160 How,

00:43:34.700 how likely are you to get into an accident on this?

00:43:38.320 Yeah.

00:43:39.080 I don't know how we can even do all the math.

00:43:41.060 I guess.

00:43:41.560 Yeah.

00:43:42.180 It would take a long time.

00:43:43.280 I would love to see the stat. 0.99

00:43:44.860 Damn, 1.00

00:43:45.400 man. 1.00

00:43:46.440 But got carnival ride accidents occur more than we think.

00:43:49.400 Oh,

00:43:49.560 there we go.

00:43:50.760 Hmm.

00:43:51.100 I don't know if that's true.

00:43:52.100 I think they occur a decent amount.

00:43:56.740 When I was younger,

00:43:58.140 we went to the giant stadium.

00:43:59.680 It used to be the Meadowlands.

00:44:01.080 Mm hmm.

00:44:01.500 And,

00:44:01.840 Oh yeah.

00:44:02.840 Was it cool?

00:44:03.520 They had a Meadowlands fair and it was the biggest one in our area.

00:44:06.600 Hard none.

00:44:07.220 It was there for the month of July.

00:44:08.920 Oh,

00:44:09.400 I bet a lot of hotties, 1.00

00:44:10.560 huh?

00:44:11.020 Oh yeah.

00:44:11.600 A lot.

00:44:12.160 Yeah.

00:44:13.140 Summer months.

00:44:14.600 Yeah.

00:44:15.160 But they,

00:44:15.540 they would like really like,

00:44:16.900 it was big too.

00:44:17.880 They set up the whole thing.

00:44:18.980 Yeah.

00:44:19.400 But they would have cool stuff.

00:44:20.580 Like I saw a baby,

00:44:22.000 you get hurt that,

00:44:22.860 but not.

00:44:23.960 So my friend,

00:44:25.000 and I saw a baby though,

00:44:26.380 huh?

00:44:26.480 Like Frankie Edgar.

00:44:27.560 Yeah.

00:44:28.320 Like Frankie Edgar about his size.

00:44:30.740 And I love Frankie Edgar.

00:44:32.920 Dude,

00:44:33.180 me too.

00:44:33.960 I,

00:44:34.220 I,

00:44:34.500 dude,

00:44:34.760 I had a Frankie Edgar who was in my dream last night.

00:44:37.960 I just realized.

00:44:38.920 As a baby.

00:44:39.840 Oh no,

00:44:40.320 no,

00:44:40.500 no,

00:44:40.660 no.

00:44:41.160 I mean,

00:44:41.680 if he was,

00:44:42.220 he was pound for pound the best baby out there.

00:44:44.960 I'll say that.

00:44:45.920 No,

00:44:46.120 as a,

00:44:46.360 as an adult,

00:44:48.100 no,

00:44:48.360 I love him too,

00:44:48.960 man.

00:44:50.140 That's so crazy.

00:44:51.200 I just remember that.

00:44:51.860 Anyway,

00:44:52.160 go on,

00:44:52.640 go on.

00:44:53.220 No,

00:44:53.400 no.

00:44:53.520 My friend was throwing a softballs,

00:44:55.660 like legit softballs,

00:44:56.820 like to win some, 1.00

00:44:57.980 some shit. 0.99

00:44:58.480 I forgot what, 1.00

00:44:59.240 what he would,

00:44:59.800 but yeah.

00:45:00.020 Oh no,

00:45:00.440 I know what it was.

00:45:01.060 It was a baseball and it was like,

00:45:03.060 they would put the glass bottles on the shelves and you could just launch them and try all plates.

00:45:07.120 And what happened was he threw a baseball as hard as he could,

00:45:12.620 but it hit the wood underneath the thing and just came flying back at us at nearly the same speed.

00:45:19.060 And we moved and it hit the ground,

00:45:20.920 popped up and went right into a carriage,

00:45:23.060 right into a baby carriage.

00:45:25.060 Oh my,

00:45:25.520 my dad,

00:45:25.940 you just heard the baby screaming.

00:45:28.120 And we were like, 1.00

00:45:28.980 oh my fucking God. 0.99

00:45:30.020 And we just like literally like, 1.00

00:45:31.480 like just like abandon him.

00:45:33.600 Yeah.

00:45:33.980 Wow.

00:45:34.380 And that baby now is Adam Frazier who plays for the Seattle Mariners guys.

00:45:39.780 He's a second baseman and he's doing well.

00:45:42.480 I hope that,

00:45:43.140 I don't think the baby got like mauled,

00:45:44.680 but like a baseball definitely disrupted its flow in there.

00:45:48.360 And then it was screaming,

00:45:49.620 like,

00:45:49.780 you know,

00:45:50.040 crying.

00:45:50.540 I don't know if it got like clipped or anything,

00:45:52.080 but well,

00:45:52.760 I'm sure every time it sees like a solar eclipse,

00:45:55.100 it can't help it go like that.

00:45:58.320 Anything round coming.

00:46:00.840 Yeah.

00:46:01.480 Even if you just whisper,

00:46:02.680 take me out.

00:46:06.820 I'm sure you can't get a suppository in it after that.

00:46:09.560 I bet it's a little tight,

00:46:10.600 buddy. 1.00

00:46:10.920 Damn. 1.00

00:46:11.680 But they had weird shit. 1.00

00:46:13.160 Like they, 0.99

00:46:13.440 they used to do also carny stuff,

00:46:15.740 the metal ants.

00:46:16.580 So it's like,

00:46:17.480 you know,

00:46:17.860 you,

00:46:18.120 so what it says is like pay a dollar and go behind this thing.

00:46:21.520 Oh yeah.

00:46:22.400 And see the,

00:46:23.320 you know,

00:46:23.540 the wolf man or the small world's smallest horse.

00:46:27.160 I met,

00:46:27.920 I met the world's smallest horse,

00:46:29.280 Tom Thumb a couple of years back.

00:46:32.540 Maybe I'll pull that up on my Instagram.

00:46:33.900 Maybe somebody can and send you the link.

00:46:35.820 Maybe it's at the bottom somewhere.

00:46:37.300 Where'd you,

00:46:37.520 where'd you,

00:46:37.820 where'd you meet him?

00:46:38.580 He was touring in,

00:46:40.040 um,

00:46:41.040 I guess,

00:46:41.940 um,

00:46:42.960 out there,

00:46:44.400 out here somewhere,

00:46:45.220 California,

00:46:45.680 Riverside.

00:46:46.320 Thumb is,

00:46:46.900 has a surname.

00:46:48.740 Tom Thumb.

00:46:49.620 Yeah.

00:46:50.820 So I guess he does.

00:46:51.920 Yeah.

00:46:52.260 I don't know.

00:46:52.640 Was he a great horse or how was he?

00:46:54.300 I mean,

00:46:54.680 bro.

00:46:55.020 As far as horses go.

00:46:55.800 He was how miniature he was.

00:46:58.560 He had to be this big.

00:46:59.880 Wow.

00:47:01.420 It blew my mind.

00:47:03.080 Is that him right there?

00:47:05.060 No, 1.00

00:47:05.460 that looks like a pig and fucking within. 1.00

00:47:07.820 They kind of, 1.00

00:47:08.360 uh,

00:47:09.100 glued some hair on his body.

00:47:10.360 Huh? 0.99

00:47:10.780 That's a pig, 1.00

00:47:11.540 isn't it? 0.99

00:47:12.780 Thumbelina horse.

00:47:14.000 Wow.

00:47:15.000 Also a thumb name,

00:47:16.040 a miniature horse.

00:47:16.780 It could have been a sister of her then,

00:47:18.340 or a brother of her.

00:47:19.280 Well,

00:47:19.560 they had the world's smallest woman. 0.94

00:47:21.300 Now,

00:47:21.440 I don't know if she was the world's smallest,

00:47:23.080 really couldn't check that out at the time,

00:47:24.780 but I paid the dollar.

00:47:26.280 Yeah.

00:47:26.940 And,

00:47:27.340 uh,

00:47:27.520 it was kind of wild.

00:47:28.960 And I went behind the thing and behind that,

00:47:31.180 like the truck,

00:47:31.800 like it was the sign on it,

00:47:33.100 like meet the world's,

00:47:34.020 you know,

00:47:34.600 and I don't know how I feel about the whole thing.

00:47:38.180 Yeah.

00:47:38.460 I guess she's making money, 0.98

00:47:39.740 right?

00:47:40.340 She,

00:47:40.640 she might,

00:47:41.180 maybe can't get a traditional job.

00:47:43.060 Right.

00:47:43.200 So I guess maybe she found a niche.

00:47:45.020 Maybe she has a family in the, 0.83

00:47:46.180 in the carnival world.

00:47:47.060 Like now,

00:47:47.460 you know,

00:47:47.720 she travels with people.

00:47:48.960 It's social and she's getting paid hopefully well,

00:47:50.700 but it did feel weird to be like,

00:47:52.660 pay money to see this,

00:47:53.980 you know,

00:47:54.400 because the,

00:47:55.380 the,

00:47:55.720 the,

00:47:55.940 the,

00:47:56.260 the,

00:47:56.500 the air around it is that it was like a freak show in a way.

00:47:59.220 Okay.

00:47:59.580 I see what you're saying.

00:48:00.300 You know,

00:48:00.780 what's kind of the original only fans.

00:48:02.560 It feels like.

00:48:03.660 Yeah.

00:48:04.500 In a way.

00:48:04.880 You're right.

00:48:05.340 That's the,

00:48:05.900 just the like literal,

00:48:07.040 like mono only like the,

00:48:08.640 the,

00:48:09.180 the lo-fi only fans.

00:48:11.160 Yeah.

00:48:11.820 It is.

00:48:13.320 It was a dollar.

00:48:14.680 Yeah.

00:48:15.040 And it was a dollar.

00:48:15.760 It was a fair.

00:48:16.440 And it was once a year.

00:48:17.500 And what a better deal you got once a year you paid,

00:48:21.880 you saw,

00:48:22.860 you kept the image with you throughout the year.

00:48:25.100 You weren't really sure.

00:48:26.140 I remember this lady right this second. 0.91

00:48:27.440 Wow.

00:48:27.660 And I saw her like 30 years,

00:48:29.120 20 years ago,

00:48:29.900 25.

00:48:30.260 So I went behind it and behind it,

00:48:32.180 she was in like the,

00:48:32.920 the cutout of the trailer and inside of it,

00:48:35.660 they made it look like a home.

00:48:37.600 And she was sitting in a rocking chair knitting.

00:48:40.820 Yeah.

00:48:41.180 She was like that big.

00:48:43.020 Wow.

00:48:43.960 Yeah.

00:48:45.280 And what age was she?

00:48:46.800 She was looked older.

00:48:47.880 She looked middle-aged like an older woman. 0.85

00:48:50.200 Thank God.

00:48:51.480 Why?

00:48:52.540 I'm just glad she's had a life,

00:48:54.300 you know,

00:48:54.580 and she's not like,

00:48:55.740 they're not out here.

00:48:56.420 Like,

00:48:56.800 you know,

00:48:56.980 just height trafficking or something,

00:48:58.620 you know,

00:48:58.920 you know,

00:49:00.220 she's got,

00:49:00.740 you know,

00:49:00.920 there's like seven other small.

00:49:02.540 I wonder there's understudies,

00:49:03.640 you know,

00:49:03.860 cause what if she gets sick? 1.00

00:49:05.680 That's a revenue stream.

00:49:06.560 And it's not going to shut down.

00:49:07.780 Dude,

00:49:08.160 Angela's sick.

00:49:11.780 Yeah,

00:49:12.220 man.

00:49:12.440 But it wasn't like dwarfism unless it was,

00:49:14.680 but it was like,

00:49:15.320 but she was like, 0.62

00:49:17.060 it wasn't like,

00:49:17.840 you know,

00:49:18.060 like that.

00:49:18.820 It was like,

00:49:19.220 she was like that big.

00:49:20.360 Yeah.

00:49:20.840 And she was sitting in a rocking chair,

00:49:22.560 like a miniature.

00:49:24.020 I gotta be honest.

00:49:25.200 It looked very cozy and like,

00:49:27.020 Oh,

00:49:27.600 like they made it look really cozy.

00:49:29.160 Like she actually looked,

00:49:30.440 I wonder if she actually lived there.

00:49:31.700 Now I'm thinking about it.

00:49:32.720 She might have. 0.60

00:49:33.420 You might like,

00:49:33.760 she might just be like, 0.94

00:49:34.920 she might like,

00:49:35.840 they might close the front and then that's just her house. 1.00

00:49:38.060 Cause it looked like a house in there.

00:49:39.400 Let's pull that up.

00:49:40.080 World's smallest woman.

00:49:40.980 Can we get some information here,

00:49:42.200 brother?

00:49:42.940 Um,

00:49:43.380 I'm trying to think of the,

00:49:44.620 yeah,

00:49:44.740 the horse I saw was so small,

00:49:46.600 man.

00:49:46.840 You could,

00:49:47.700 I bet it would be kind of nice to be so small.

00:49:50.040 Cause your parts are right there.

00:49:53.060 Imagine taking a nap when you're so little,

00:49:55.180 it must feel so good.

00:49:56.600 I get that.

00:49:57.500 But in reality,

00:49:58.400 how far is your hand from you?

00:50:00.300 Like you,

00:50:00.900 you have,

00:50:01.340 you have everything right there too,

00:50:02.480 though.

00:50:02.700 Look how far.

00:50:04.780 Imagine like this,

00:50:05.780 like that.

00:50:06.340 Oh,

00:50:07.120 Hey buddy.

00:50:08.880 There's just less time.

00:50:10.960 It's just like,

00:50:11.720 yeah,

00:50:12.180 how quick you can get a snack into you.

00:50:14.000 Okay.

00:50:14.440 Oh,

00:50:14.580 so there,

00:50:14.920 yeah,

00:50:15.040 I mean there are,

00:50:15.620 there's pros and cons to everything.

00:50:17.020 Like Kevin Durant,

00:50:17.600 it probably takes him a little over a second to get a snack.

00:50:20.040 into his mouth.

00:50:20.740 You think,

00:50:21.200 yeah,

00:50:21.420 he probably,

00:50:22.520 he's a,

00:50:23.100 he hasn't experienced the joys of the world's smallest woman.

00:50:26.340 No.

00:50:27.700 And to be able to just,

00:50:29.060 to open a peanut,

00:50:30.320 you put it in one hand and then punch it with the other.

00:50:33.540 I never thought of that.

00:50:35.100 Oh,

00:50:35.520 so fun.

00:50:36.080 Just like punching peanuts.

00:50:37.720 Because to her,

00:50:38.660 it's like,

00:50:39.500 yeah,

00:50:39.820 the peanuts like a,

00:50:40.820 almost like a circus peanut.

00:50:42.240 Oh yeah.

00:50:42.980 Right.

00:50:43.380 Yeah.

00:50:44.560 Hey,

00:50:45.200 go.

00:50:45.600 Yeah.

00:50:46.240 Okay.

00:50:47.360 Yeah.

00:50:48.000 Yeah.

00:50:48.200 The Kishanji.

00:50:49.900 I'm G that's not who I saw,

00:50:52.320 but is an Indian actor's notable being the world's shortest living woman. 0.94

00:50:56.300 Now I guess,

00:50:57.000 are we saying shortest?

00:50:58.220 Are we saying smallest?

00:50:59.400 Because there's a,

00:51:00.800 there's kind of something different there.

00:51:03.100 They,

00:51:03.820 I think from what I gather,

00:51:05.740 my memory serves,

00:51:06.620 they said smallest.

00:51:07.800 Okay.

00:51:08.540 And this woman,

00:51:09.380 two foot,

00:51:09.900 three quarter inch.

00:51:12.260 How big is that?

00:51:15.320 That's like what this woman was though. 1.00

00:51:17.140 Wow.

00:51:17.940 Yeah.

00:51:18.500 So she might've just not entered in the contest.

00:51:20.940 There's no,

00:51:21.740 there's no swimming ever.

00:51:27.620 I mean,

00:51:28.160 even a shallow one is three feet.

00:51:30.720 That's true.

00:51:31.400 Huh?

00:51:31.860 There's no,

00:51:32.620 I mean,

00:51:32.900 there's,

00:51:33.200 you have to,

00:51:34.180 can you swim?

00:51:35.460 Is your,

00:51:35.900 I wonder if you can swim.

00:51:39.040 With only that much propeller.

00:51:41.820 You know what I'm saying?

00:51:42.260 Kind of.

00:51:42.800 Yeah.

00:51:43.080 But think of like a chihuahua.

00:51:44.840 Chihuahua can.

00:51:45.640 It's a great point.

00:51:46.300 You know what I mean?

00:51:46.840 Yeah.

00:51:47.220 I would say nothing though.

00:51:49.540 Who makes the clothes too? 0.99

00:51:51.360 Ooh, 0.56

00:51:51.960 pervs.

00:51:53.360 Probably.

00:51:53.960 Or they get them off dolls.

00:51:56.200 I was thinking,

00:51:57.160 but like,

00:51:58.240 you really think they get them off dolls?

00:52:00.040 We had a small guy at our school and his daddy would get clothing off of some dolls for him once in a while.

00:52:04.200 Yeah.

00:52:05.100 You know,

00:52:05.560 when you run a business at a time,

00:52:07.480 time seems more precious.

00:52:09.420 Every misplaced moment feels like a missed opportunity.

00:52:13.320 You know,

00:52:13.580 running a business is hard.

00:52:14.800 You got to come and,

00:52:15.540 you know,

00:52:16.100 stay on top of things,

00:52:17.260 communicate,

00:52:18.900 uh,

00:52:19.860 capitulate,

00:52:20.480 and,

00:52:22.020 um,

00:52:23.200 do stuff well.

00:52:25.220 Ship station helps you.

00:52:27.780 Ship station gives e-commerce sellers like you,

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00:52:40.460 I know you don't.

00:52:41.680 I know you don't.

00:52:43.340 Some of you would ride in the dang package if you could and go there with the package. 0.50

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00:53:30.480 You know,

00:53:31.140 if you're feeling burnt out,

00:53:32.160 it's because you are.

00:53:33.240 I have been.

00:53:34.760 Man,

00:53:35.020 I've had it for a few years now.

00:53:36.560 It's been grueling to get over.

00:53:39.760 It's been grueling.

00:53:40.580 It's been hard.

00:53:41.240 Hard to manage myself.

00:53:44.760 And it can happen in many ways.

00:53:47.260 It can feel different for different people.

00:53:50.320 You know,

00:53:50.620 burnout is usually associated with work,

00:53:52.440 but that's not the only cause.

00:53:54.440 Any of your roles can make you feel burnt out.

00:53:57.120 Being a parent,

00:53:58.360 being a sibling,

00:53:59.420 being a dang employee,

00:54:01.140 or being a boss.

00:54:03.280 BetterHelp Online Therapy

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00:54:57.540 Theo.

00:54:59.240 I mean,

00:54:59.860 some dolls,

00:55:00.840 you know,

00:55:01.100 they have some like,

00:55:02.000 I can see it on some dolls.

00:55:03.480 Well,

00:55:03.500 dolls have a lot of nice stuff 0.82

00:55:04.660 these days.

00:55:05.300 Here we go right here.

00:55:07.220 Play it up.

00:55:07.700 Get that volume out.

00:55:09.300 Everyone can meet

00:55:10.240 the world.

00:55:10.780 How long are you going to be here

00:55:11.680 today for?

00:55:14.120 He'll be here all day?

00:55:15.720 How small is he?

00:55:16.780 He's alive, too.

00:55:26.560 And he's alive, too?

00:55:30.500 They had to let him go

00:55:31.960 to see a carcass.

00:55:35.900 Did you go in?

00:55:36.680 Oh, yeah, I went.

00:55:37.680 Oh, he wouldn't let you

00:55:38.180 take the camera in?

00:55:39.740 No.

00:55:40.820 Oh, wow.

00:55:41.480 That's IP, I guess.

00:55:42.840 He was so small, man.

00:55:44.860 God, I still remember him.

00:55:46.780 How do you?

00:55:47.480 Yeah, you seem like he's sad.

00:55:49.840 Oh, yeah,

00:55:50.420 I don't know if I feel sad.

00:55:51.160 I guess just nostalgic.

00:55:52.220 It was a fun day at that fair.

00:55:54.320 The smallest woman 1.00

00:55:55.660 can ride that smallest horse.

00:55:57.480 Beautiful.

00:55:58.120 And they probably

00:55:58.860 are in the same fair,

00:55:59.860 so maybe it's like

00:56:01.200 she's trotting around

00:56:01.940 on that thing.

00:56:02.720 I'm sure at night

00:56:03.360 they meet up.

00:56:04.540 Dude, I remember one time

00:56:05.680 I was in Iraq

00:56:06.640 doing a military show

00:56:08.000 and one lady

00:56:09.180 hit me up

00:56:10.040 on social media

00:56:11.220 and offered to meet me

00:56:13.520 in a Black Hawk helicopter

00:56:14.960 and give me 1.00

00:56:16.320 a blowjob, 1.00

00:56:18.440 give me a little bit of aural. 1.00

00:56:20.240 And I didn't do it, man.

00:56:23.080 I got just too nerved out.

00:56:24.940 It's a unique scenario

00:56:26.140 for sure.

00:56:26.960 Yeah.

00:56:27.480 And I just didn't know

00:56:28.500 what protocol was.

00:56:29.460 I don't want to be

00:56:30.220 some dude

00:56:31.000 who looks like

00:56:32.680 an insurgent or whatever.

00:56:33.980 Yeah.

00:56:34.380 You know,

00:56:34.620 because I have long hair.

00:56:36.480 Yeah.

00:56:36.700 So I just didn't want to...

00:56:37.800 This lady was on the clock? 1.00

00:56:39.220 This lady was a bona fide 0.99

00:56:41.400 military woman.

00:56:42.940 Really?

00:56:43.340 Oh, yeah.

00:56:43.800 Now, did she think 0.99

00:56:44.860 the blowjob offer 0.99

00:56:46.120 in and of itself 0.99

00:56:47.000 wasn't going to be enough?

00:56:48.540 Like, why did she sweeten 0.99

00:56:49.560 the deal with a Black Hawk helicopter?

00:56:51.520 She just said

00:56:52.060 the flight is...

00:56:53.540 The flight thing

00:56:55.100 isn't secure tonight

00:56:55.940 or whatever,

00:56:56.340 so we can meet up

00:56:57.340 in a Black Hawk 1.00

00:56:57.960 and I'll give you a blowjob. 1.00

00:56:59.840 But you weren't going 1.00

00:57:00.580 to take flight?

00:57:01.720 No, no, no, no, no.

00:57:03.200 Maybe in here you were.

00:57:04.500 Yeah, maybe in my head, dude.

00:57:05.980 But yeah, no, but and also

00:57:07.700 I remember this is...

00:57:08.820 And this is the part

00:57:09.480 I feel worse about kind of 0.96

00:57:10.580 is this shitty, huge... 0.98

00:57:12.900 Either a animal 1.00

00:57:14.340 had bitten her on the neck 0.77

00:57:15.500 or a huge acne,

00:57:16.880 a huge one acne.

00:57:18.180 Okay.

00:57:19.100 And I was just like...

00:57:22.080 I felt like it would

00:57:22.700 almost be a game show

00:57:23.660 what was going to bust first.

00:57:26.960 Did you hear that?

00:57:30.900 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:57:31.820 She had a fucking IED 1.00

00:57:33.420 under her neck. 1.00

00:57:34.560 Yeah, man.

00:57:35.020 So it's just...

00:57:35.920 Now I can see...

00:57:36.700 Hella dangerous. 1.00

00:57:37.360 I can see now

00:57:38.540 where the hesitation came in.

00:57:40.140 Yeah, I am.

00:57:40.620 You know, because...

00:57:41.320 But if that wasn't there,

00:57:42.740 would you have been

00:57:43.300 Black Hawk down on that?

00:57:44.360 Oh, yeah.

00:57:45.700 That's Black Hawk down.

00:57:46.800 That's her version.

00:57:50.120 She, you know,

00:57:51.260 if the goiter wasn't there,

00:57:53.120 you would have had

00:57:53.720 that experience.

00:57:54.440 Because that's almost

00:57:55.240 hard to turn down.

00:57:56.320 Like, it would take a goiter 1.00

00:57:57.520 or something like that

00:57:58.720 to thwart this experience.

00:58:01.780 I should not have

00:58:02.420 turned it down. 1.00

00:58:02.960 God, what an idiot. 1.00

00:58:05.100 Because it's a good story 1.00

00:58:06.120 that it was offered,

00:58:07.080 but it would be

00:58:07.420 an amazing story

00:58:08.660 if you got it.

00:58:09.640 I know.

00:58:11.760 I think I was just so...

00:58:13.260 I didn't know

00:58:14.220 if we would be...

00:58:15.160 What if we got caught

00:58:16.060 and then I'm giving

00:58:16.740 a bad look to this group?

00:58:18.500 That's true.

00:58:18.620 There was just

00:58:18.980 some other implications.

00:58:20.460 And dude,

00:58:20.880 some other lady, 1.00

00:58:21.900 if you go over there

00:58:23.040 for the military,

00:58:23.920 dude,

00:58:24.200 somebody will... 0.98

00:58:25.060 They'll do sex 1.00

00:58:25.880 with you, bro. 1.00

00:58:26.480 Men or women.

00:58:27.680 Yeah.

00:58:27.840 Because they had people,

00:58:29.280 I mean,

00:58:29.540 out on their morning jog

00:58:30.600 stopping by

00:58:31.700 to see what was going on.

00:58:33.480 Another lady 0.99

00:58:34.160 tried to come by 0.86

00:58:34.980 and have sex one time. 0.93

00:58:37.140 They must... 0.65

00:58:38.840 Like,

00:58:39.300 the single people

00:58:41.320 in the military

00:58:42.060 must bang each other

00:58:45.240 like there's nobody's business.

00:58:46.620 They must.

00:58:47.140 Because they know

00:58:47.800 they're only going to be there

00:58:48.340 for a few years,

00:58:49.340 you know.

00:58:50.420 I think it gets

00:58:51.200 kind of territorial, though.

00:58:52.780 I had a friend of mine,

00:58:54.220 Marius Sailor,

00:58:54.980 that came in for Fleet Week.

00:58:56.300 What?

00:58:56.640 Yeah.

00:58:57.100 I used to work

00:58:57.760 at this neighborhood bar

00:58:58.600 and we were on the water

00:58:59.880 in Staten Island.

00:59:00.900 And every year,

00:59:01.820 the same week,

00:59:02.780 all the sailors came in

00:59:04.060 and they would invade the town,

00:59:05.640 you know.

00:59:05.980 Would they wear their uniforms?

00:59:07.220 A full-on...

00:59:07.520 They know what they're doing.

00:59:08.580 Bring it up.

00:59:09.060 Sailor uniform, huh?

00:59:09.960 They would wear the uniform

00:59:10.880 because,

00:59:12.020 first of all,

00:59:12.780 we'd give them

00:59:13.920 a lot of free drinks

00:59:14.700 because,

00:59:15.280 thank you for your service.

00:59:15.920 Military, yeah.

00:59:16.500 And then the chicks,

00:59:17.820 you know,

00:59:18.060 they'd pick up chicks. 1.00

00:59:18.740 And even the female officers 0.58

00:59:19.820 would come in

00:59:20.380 like, you know,

00:59:21.460 and everybody...

00:59:22.120 Dimes.

00:59:22.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:59:23.260 And they would all wear it.

00:59:25.340 Well,

00:59:25.600 that definitely is

00:59:26.280 from Party City.

00:59:27.140 We are members

00:59:28.840 of the...

00:59:30.780 Yeah, that's Party City.

00:59:31.960 Can we look at

00:59:32.320 a real military uniform?

00:59:34.120 And yeah,

00:59:34.680 this girl I knew

00:59:35.680 just started dating this guy

00:59:37.640 and ended up getting married.

00:59:40.620 Wow,

00:59:41.060 like that or like...

00:59:42.640 There we go. 0.70

00:59:43.380 No, white.

00:59:44.140 In the whites, okay.

00:59:45.660 Let's see a white military. 0.78

00:59:46.860 I don't know the difference.

00:59:47.500 There you go,

00:59:47.980 like that on the right,

00:59:48.780 the top right over there.

00:59:50.260 That's what they would call it.

00:59:51.300 Wow.

00:59:51.580 With the hat, too.

00:59:53.140 Swear.

00:59:54.580 Yeah.

00:59:54.780 Yeah, the hat, dude.

00:59:56.640 Oh, and they were coming packs.

00:59:58.500 So like,

00:59:58.940 all of a sudden,

00:59:59.360 like 10 sailors.

01:00:02.000 And they'd be having beers.

01:00:02.540 Men and women.

01:00:03.260 Yeah, yeah.

01:00:04.520 Would they sing songs?

01:00:06.140 No.

01:00:06.640 Oh, no.

01:00:07.460 A week.

01:00:08.200 Yeah.

01:00:08.620 That's a week, dude.

01:00:09.640 Bro, remember the cruise

01:00:10.440 we went on?

01:00:10.980 They ordered a lot

01:00:11.820 of sautéed spinach.

01:00:12.940 Really?

01:00:13.300 Yeah, no, no.

01:00:14.260 Oh.

01:00:15.160 That was a Popeye reference

01:00:16.180 that didn't land.

01:00:16.960 Oh,

01:00:17.160 remember him?

01:00:22.080 Oh, Popeye?

01:00:22.840 Popeye?

01:00:23.260 Hell yeah.

01:00:23.920 Remember live action Popeye,

01:00:25.460 though?

01:00:26.220 Yeah.

01:00:26.620 Robin Williams.

01:00:27.620 Played Popeye.

01:00:28.440 Did he?

01:00:29.000 He did the voice?

01:00:30.080 He did.

01:00:30.960 He didn't do the voice.

01:00:32.060 Oh, live action.

01:00:33.340 Yeah, like a real film.

01:00:34.640 I'm talking about the cartoon.

01:00:35.640 Can you forget that cartoon

01:00:36.500 of Popeye?

01:00:37.400 Yeah.

01:00:37.700 But you've never seen

01:00:39.840 Robin Williams play Popeye?

01:00:41.280 Uh-uh.

01:00:42.100 With Shelly Duvall

01:00:43.560 as Olive Oil?

01:00:44.600 Never.

01:00:45.520 Dude,

01:00:46.080 it is a classic.

01:00:47.700 I never knew this existed

01:00:49.160 and I cannot wait

01:00:49.900 to watch it.

01:00:49.940 Look at his forearms.

01:00:51.020 Oh, great.

01:00:52.060 Oh, wow.

01:00:53.860 Yo,

01:00:54.100 this is one of the tapes

01:00:55.080 I played till it broke

01:00:56.200 when I was a little kid.

01:00:56.920 Oh.

01:00:58.020 Dude,

01:00:58.420 I'm so excited to watch this.

01:00:59.760 I didn't know this existed.

01:01:00.820 I didn't know they had this.

01:01:01.800 You're gonna like this, man.

01:01:02.640 He fights a giant squid.

01:01:04.180 Uh-uh.

01:01:05.200 Yeah.

01:01:06.140 Yeah.

01:01:06.500 When I was little,

01:01:07.720 Popeye was,

01:01:08.640 I don't think kids know Popeye today.

01:01:10.180 No, I don't think they know about it.

01:01:11.580 And Popeye also,

01:01:12.540 who did the voice for Popeye the cartoon?

01:01:14.580 There you go.

01:01:15.220 There he was.

01:01:17.900 Yeah.

01:01:20.320 And, you know,

01:01:21.280 because that was like

01:01:22.080 the original G.I. Joe

01:01:23.320 was Popeye.

01:01:24.300 Yeah.

01:01:24.820 Like, people don't realize

01:01:25.720 that that's who we had.

01:01:26.840 I was Popeye out.

01:01:27.660 I had Popeye on the video game too.

01:01:30.280 I don't think we had that,

01:01:31.380 but we had Popeye's chicken

01:01:32.560 in Louisiana,

01:01:33.480 so everywhere.

01:01:34.180 Is that,

01:01:34.720 is that,

01:01:35.400 Yeah.

01:01:35.640 Is that him?

01:01:36.720 It was.

01:01:37.360 Oh, it was?

01:01:38.100 Because you used to get the figurine

01:01:39.280 if you went over there

01:01:40.040 and they gave you the figurine.

01:01:40.760 Oh, really?

01:01:41.060 So that's his fried chicken?

01:01:42.300 I don't,

01:01:42.700 I don't get the connection.

01:01:44.340 Yeah.

01:01:45.740 The sailor and the fried chicken.

01:01:47.060 I don't get it.

01:01:47.580 I think they just,

01:01:48.780 I think they had named it Popeye's

01:01:50.860 and then,

01:01:52.120 Retro,

01:01:52.580 retrofitted it to him?

01:01:53.780 They might have.

01:01:55.100 Let's,

01:01:55.500 so Jack Mercer did the voice there

01:01:57.800 for Popeye the sailor.

01:01:59.700 Can you get the YouTube

01:02:00.800 of Jack Mercer doing that voice

01:02:02.160 or will that,

01:02:02.600 we won't be able to use it?

01:02:04.460 You started to say something

01:02:05.720 when I said Popeye

01:02:06.600 that I was like, 1.00

01:02:07.720 oh shit, 1.00

01:02:08.220 yeah. 1.00

01:02:08.820 Our cruise,

01:02:09.500 we went,

01:02:09.860 I went on your cruise.

01:02:10.600 Oh, right on,

01:02:11.000 right on,

01:02:11.340 right on,

01:02:11.660 yeah,

01:02:11.820 yeah.

01:02:12.140 They just had a cruise issue.

01:02:13.140 What was that thing in the news too?

01:02:14.480 Let's,

01:02:14.740 let's,

01:02:15.460 I want to hear this Jack Mercer

01:02:16.480 do the voice.

01:02:17.080 Can we see him do the voice?

01:02:19.040 I ate spinach because of him.

01:02:21.740 I didn't like spinach.

01:02:22.960 I didn't like veggies,

01:02:23.780 you know,

01:02:24.180 and I wouldn't eat it

01:02:25.260 and my dad would be like,

01:02:26.340 Popeye's.

01:02:26.820 So we got a one

01:02:27.380 and a two

01:02:28.800 and a pair of threes.

01:02:30.640 The votes are all in.

01:02:37.220 Whether or not something

01:02:38.260 of the voice would creep through there

01:02:39.780 and it worked out beautifully.

01:02:40.760 Number one,

01:02:41.320 Mr. Goldwater.

01:02:42.120 I don't think this is it.

01:02:42.960 You do?

01:02:44.940 South Amboy,

01:02:45.900 New Jersey playing.

01:02:47.100 No,

01:02:47.280 he's not,

01:02:47.580 did they just use this

01:02:48.440 as a question you think?

01:02:49.720 No,

01:02:49.960 I think he was,

01:02:50.660 he was on that game show.

01:02:51.760 That was to tell the truth.

01:02:52.980 So four of those people

01:02:54.200 are like lying about who they are.

01:02:56.060 One song,

01:02:56.560 the truth.

01:02:56.940 It was an old game show.

01:02:58.040 So he was the contestant

01:02:59.280 telling the truth

01:02:59.920 as the voice of Popeye.

01:03:03.260 Do we have Jack Mercer

01:03:04.440 does voice of Popeye?

01:03:06.440 I just wanted to hear it again.

01:03:08.660 I wish I could do that voice.

01:03:10.620 Yeah.

01:03:11.040 Wouldn't you do voices

01:03:11.940 if you could all day?

01:03:13.140 Oh,

01:03:13.380 I'll do this.

01:03:15.300 See me,

01:03:15.820 tell me who this is,

01:03:16.540 okay?

01:03:16.660 Okay.

01:03:17.580 They said it would take a man

01:03:21.920 600 years

01:03:22.680 to get out of the sea of prison,

01:03:24.200 but Andy Dufresne

01:03:25.360 did it in less than 20.

01:03:28.500 Yeah.

01:03:30.220 That's a little weak today,

01:03:31.700 but no,

01:03:32.380 that's,

01:03:32.720 that's,

01:03:33.120 that's Morgan Freeman.

01:03:34.040 Thanks.

01:03:35.060 Yeah.

01:03:35.960 That was good actually.

01:03:37.300 Thanks man.

01:03:37.900 I closed my eyes

01:03:38.600 for a little bit of it.

01:03:39.320 I see where you were going with it.

01:03:40.720 If it's something

01:03:41.200 you don't do all the time,

01:03:42.140 I felt there was something

01:03:44.060 in there with it.

01:03:44.760 Yeah,

01:03:44.840 yeah,

01:03:45.020 thanks.

01:03:45.180 I don't do voices though.

01:03:46.960 You don't?

01:03:47.760 I don't,

01:03:48.300 I wish I could.

01:03:49.620 We had,

01:03:50.000 Kyle Dunagan was on,

01:03:51.080 he does them really well.

01:03:52.140 You ever do voiceovers? 0.99

01:03:53.600 You ever get any animated shit? 0.99

01:03:54.900 I got offered two animated shows. 0.99

01:03:56.380 Because you have such a good voice.

01:03:57.340 Oh,

01:03:57.560 thanks man.

01:03:58.140 You have a strong,

01:03:59.200 distinct voice with good diction.

01:04:01.180 Thank you.

01:04:01.960 Yeah,

01:04:02.200 you do.

01:04:02.820 That's easy.

01:04:03.420 That's very easy to tell.

01:04:04.800 I,

01:04:05.180 I,

01:04:05.520 I,

01:04:07.200 Sal,

01:04:07.780 sorry,

01:04:08.140 I don't know why I called you.

01:04:08.860 I didn't say Saul.

01:04:10.260 I said Sal.

01:04:11.480 Saul.

01:04:12.400 Do people say both sometimes?

01:04:14.220 So it's Salvatore,

01:04:15.460 it's S-A-L,

01:04:16.060 it's Sal.

01:04:16.360 The only person that calls me Saul

01:04:17.900 30% of the time

01:04:19.460 after knowing him for 10 years

01:04:20.520 is David Tell.

01:04:21.500 Yeah,

01:04:21.820 really?

01:04:22.340 And I don't correct him

01:04:23.180 because it's David Tell.

01:04:24.660 So some nights in South,

01:04:25.920 some nights in Saul.

01:04:27.500 But are you ever Saul?

01:04:29.480 Saul,

01:04:29.940 no.

01:04:30.400 Because that's almost Spanish 0.99

01:04:31.300 like with salt.

01:04:32.180 They say like,

01:04:32.760 or Salima or Salim.

01:04:34.360 Yeah,

01:04:34.460 yeah,

01:04:34.560 yeah.

01:04:34.760 Do you have that Jack Mercer?

01:04:35.760 We couldn't find it.

01:04:37.160 Okay,

01:04:37.500 no worries,

01:04:37.960 man.

01:04:38.520 Dude,

01:04:38.880 we went on,

01:04:40.240 thank you.

01:04:41.000 We went on your cruise,

01:04:42.580 man.

01:04:43.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.440 And the cruise line

01:04:44.240 just got in trouble.

01:04:44.900 What was that news?

01:04:49.060 You came on cruise one,

01:04:51.460 right?

01:04:51.820 It was cruise one.

01:04:53.340 Celebrity cruises sued.

01:04:55.540 Yeah,

01:04:55.840 we got celebrity cruises sued.

01:04:57.420 The medics gave HIV infected blood.

01:05:00.720 Wow.

01:05:01.360 Yeah,

01:05:01.480 why do they have HIV infected blood then?

01:05:04.180 You know,

01:05:04.700 why do they have that on them

01:05:05.760 and on the cruise?

01:05:07.000 A celebrity cruises passenger

01:05:10.000 says her medical emergency

01:05:11.140 came in absolute nightmare.

01:05:13.540 They gave her blood transfusion

01:05:14.480 from someone who had HIV.

01:05:16.180 Dang,

01:05:16.900 that's bad luck.

01:05:19.120 Seven day cruise

01:05:20.020 that started December 4th,

01:05:21.560 so winter time.

01:05:26.320 And she says,

01:05:27.820 doctor,

01:05:29.180 diagnosed,

01:05:30.380 gastrointestinal.

01:05:31.440 But she started suffering

01:05:32.720 from rectal bleeding.

01:05:33.720 That's why she went for help. 0.97

01:05:35.400 What's going on there?

01:05:36.960 What's going on there?

01:05:38.600 Suppositories,

01:05:39.120 dude,

01:05:39.300 I'm telling you.

01:05:40.040 That's how,

01:05:40.660 probably.

01:05:41.820 And this could have been

01:05:42.580 one of them,

01:05:43.080 because some of these cruises,

01:05:44.240 man,

01:05:44.400 it's a lot of people out there 0.99

01:05:45.660 doing pills and doing sex. 0.99

01:05:47.500 Yeah. 0.99

01:05:49.620 Announcing staff solicited blood

01:05:51.200 from passengers

01:05:52.040 over the ship's PA system

01:05:53.280 said they needed type A negative.

01:05:56.380 That's my type.

01:05:57.340 It is?

01:05:57.740 Swear.

01:05:58.760 That's my type.

01:05:59.880 Yeah.

01:06:00.080 That's my type.

01:06:01.340 You know yours?

01:06:02.340 Is that song about blood?

01:06:03.560 What is that song?

01:06:06.620 This woman says,

01:06:07.580 four passengers stepped up

01:06:08.500 to donate blood

01:06:09.120 and she got the transfusion.

01:06:10.760 Wow.

01:06:11.520 And someone stepped up

01:06:12.740 to give blood with HIV?

01:06:15.000 Like,

01:06:15.560 yo, 0.99

01:06:15.820 what the fuck is that about? 0.99

01:06:17.440 Like, 0.99

01:06:17.940 they didn't know either?

01:06:19.060 They didn't know.

01:06:20.840 I mean,

01:06:21.740 that's a tough call.

01:06:22.720 This whole thing,

01:06:23.820 there's a lot of people

01:06:24.900 at fault here.

01:06:25.820 Yeah.

01:06:26.180 And sometimes it's like,

01:06:28.060 if you had the,

01:06:28.700 if you're,

01:06:29.060 I remember when we're out

01:06:29.860 on a cruise,

01:06:30.360 we couldn't even get fresh milk.

01:06:32.040 So it's like,

01:06:32.860 sometimes you're out there,

01:06:34.000 you got to take what you can get.

01:06:35.840 Especially if you're going to die.

01:06:37.240 Was our cruise

01:06:38.080 your first cruise

01:06:38.740 that you were ever on?

01:06:39.800 No,

01:06:40.200 I went on this thing

01:06:40.780 called Semester at Sea.

01:06:41.780 It was like a floating school.

01:06:43.300 Oh, wow.

01:06:43.860 That went around

01:06:44.280 the whole world actually.

01:06:45.900 Around the planet.

01:06:47.200 You,

01:06:47.680 how long was that?

01:06:48.740 It was 100 days.

01:06:51.780 And you?

01:06:52.460 And we,

01:06:52.840 I went,

01:06:53.200 I was a student.

01:06:53.920 I worked in the bookshop.

01:06:55.440 On the boat?

01:06:56.180 Yeah.

01:06:57.580 How old were you?

01:06:58.540 I was 19 years old.

01:07:00.400 Oh no,

01:07:00.640 I was 20 years old.

01:07:01.860 So it was like college?

01:07:03.140 Yeah,

01:07:03.360 it was college.

01:07:03.900 It's,

01:07:04.260 they still do it.

01:07:05.060 It's called Semester at Sea

01:07:06.060 and you go and,

01:07:08.060 have you spoken about this before?

01:07:09.620 I don't know if I've spoken

01:07:10.580 much about it.

01:07:11.300 I've never heard you.

01:07:12.460 Really?

01:07:13.080 That's a very,

01:07:14.040 that's a very interesting,

01:07:15.800 crazy thing you did.

01:07:16.680 It was crazy,

01:07:17.340 bro.

01:07:17.400 You don't,

01:07:17.740 so where did you go?

01:07:19.160 We started in Vancouver,

01:07:21.180 Canada,

01:07:21.540 and then we finished in Florida.

01:07:24.140 We went all the way around

01:07:25.120 the whole world.

01:07:25.700 You go around everywhere.

01:07:26.780 And you went to class,

01:07:27.720 had homework?

01:07:28.580 Yeah.

01:07:29.160 And then also worked,

01:07:30.480 like your life was,

01:07:31.400 did you dock?

01:07:32.620 Yeah,

01:07:32.840 we would dock.

01:07:33.280 How often did you dock

01:07:34.180 and you were able to?

01:07:35.040 Five days or three days,

01:07:36.920 or five nights or three nights

01:07:38.200 we would dock.

01:07:39.200 Okay.

01:07:39.540 Japan,

01:07:40.340 China,

01:07:40.840 Vietnam,

01:07:41.620 Malaysia,

01:07:42.960 Kenya,

01:07:43.760 Brazil.

01:07:44.360 We went Cuba.

01:07:45.480 Dude.

01:07:46.060 We did it.

01:07:46.640 Are you serious?

01:07:47.460 Yeah.

01:07:47.600 So let me ask you a question.

01:07:48.560 What was the breakdown

01:07:49.400 of like how often

01:07:50.200 you had to do school work?

01:07:51.380 Like did you,

01:07:52.280 did you,

01:07:52.880 were you able to maintain

01:07:53.860 your focus and your studies too?

01:07:55.680 Or was it just like,

01:07:57.000 come on now?

01:07:57.640 Like everybody just like

01:07:58.600 phoned it in

01:07:59.240 and it was just like

01:08:00.100 Caligula on it.

01:08:01.280 No,

01:08:01.680 you couldn't phone it in.

01:08:02.840 You had to like,

01:08:03.500 it was pretty,

01:08:04.380 the teachers were pretty harsh.

01:08:05.840 Okay.

01:08:06.280 So you really had to really do it,

01:08:08.140 you know?

01:08:08.480 So you really had to do school.

01:08:09.800 So you did,

01:08:10.160 you went to,

01:08:10.600 what was your schedule?

01:08:11.820 Like was it every day?

01:08:12.620 Every day class started,

01:08:13.620 I think at 8 a.m.

01:08:14.660 or 9 a.m.

01:08:15.240 I can't remember.

01:08:16.480 Every day?

01:08:17.580 It would alternate

01:08:18.180 except for days

01:08:18.840 when you were in port.

01:08:19.700 So when you were in the port,

01:08:20.560 you could go do stuff

01:08:21.380 and travel

01:08:21.860 and do whatever you wanted.

01:08:22.760 You just had to be back

01:08:23.480 when the ship left

01:08:24.180 or you could use the ship

01:08:25.740 as hotel

01:08:26.440 and stay at hotel.

01:08:28.320 Okay.

01:08:28.880 So,

01:08:29.240 okay.

01:08:29.500 So you would,

01:08:30.060 you would also have the option

01:08:31.100 to go get a hotel

01:08:31.920 off the ship?

01:08:32.900 Yeah.

01:08:33.220 For the days,

01:08:33.760 because I was about to say,

01:08:34.680 how could you live

01:08:35.720 for a hundred days

01:08:36.400 in that little,

01:08:37.240 in a little like cruise room

01:08:38.760 like that?

01:08:39.740 Yeah.

01:08:40.080 It would be crazy

01:08:40.540 if you had a roommate in there

01:08:41.760 and,

01:08:42.440 wow.

01:08:44.220 It was wild.

01:08:44.740 Yo,

01:08:44.920 if you don't like your roommate?

01:08:46.340 Yeah.

01:08:47.960 You're stuck.

01:08:49.220 How was your roommate?

01:08:50.140 Oh,

01:08:50.280 my roommate was great,

01:08:51.140 dude.

01:08:51.440 My roommate was a great guy.

01:08:53.040 Ryan Thomas.

01:08:54.240 You talked to him to this day?

01:08:55.880 He,

01:08:56.240 a few years after the ship,

01:08:57.640 he passed away,

01:08:58.620 man.

01:08:58.900 He was doing basketball.

01:09:00.620 He went to some school

01:09:03.200 up in the North California mountains,

01:09:05.540 like that weed school.

01:09:06.500 What's that weed school up there?

01:09:08.340 Chino or Cheapo?

01:09:10.000 Cheeto?

01:09:11.400 Not Cheeto.

01:09:12.460 It's like,

01:09:13.120 it's like a place

01:09:15.160 where the kids all do weed

01:09:16.460 and everybody's growing weed

01:09:17.780 and eating weed.

01:09:18.640 People are made out of weed.

01:09:20.060 People have little weed dolls

01:09:21.340 and stuff.

01:09:22.180 Voodoo dolls even are made out of weed.

01:09:23.980 It sounds fantastic.

01:09:25.180 Yeah.

01:09:25.900 I mean,

01:09:26.140 it sounds like he died

01:09:27.140 of a heart attack

01:09:28.020 because it was so amazing.

01:09:29.940 So anyway,

01:09:30.840 RIP,

01:09:31.380 brother.

01:09:31.880 So anyway,

01:09:32.500 he passed away,

01:09:33.120 but the cruise was,

01:09:34.740 it was an unbelievable experience,

01:09:36.060 man.

01:09:36.460 I mean,

01:09:36.680 it was just,

01:09:37.300 you know,

01:09:37.600 you were just,

01:09:38.640 you could get two wines a night.

01:09:40.100 You got tickets for wines

01:09:41.320 and they'd have the bar open.

01:09:42.400 You get two wines a night,

01:09:43.660 but we had a guy on there

01:09:45.640 that died,

01:09:46.340 bro.

01:09:47.080 During the cruise.

01:09:47.960 Yeah,

01:09:48.140 this dude died.

01:09:49.000 We were at sea for like 12 days

01:09:50.620 or something.

01:09:51.120 Something happened.

01:09:51.760 He died and they put him

01:09:52.560 in the freezer.

01:09:54.200 Yeah,

01:09:54.560 man.

01:09:55.880 I've heard of that.

01:09:57.000 So they put him in there.

01:09:57.880 What have to do with him?

01:09:58.560 With the pork loin,

01:09:59.800 baby.

01:10:00.100 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:00.780 That's crazy.

01:10:01.680 Do you know how he died?

01:10:02.500 Mahi,

01:10:02.940 huh?

01:10:03.240 You know how he died?

01:10:04.040 I'm not sure.

01:10:04.720 Was that like,

01:10:05.660 did that,

01:10:06.860 were people just like, 0.99

01:10:07.800 oh shit, 0.99

01:10:08.220 somebody died? 1.00

01:10:08.900 Or were you like,

01:10:09.500 oh my God.

01:10:11.240 Like,

01:10:11.460 is that someone just died,

01:10:12.860 a student died

01:10:13.700 and is in the freezer?

01:10:14.460 Oh,

01:10:14.700 it was a,

01:10:15.260 this guy was a senior citizen.

01:10:17.160 Oh,

01:10:17.540 okay.

01:10:18.020 Because he had a couple,

01:10:18.700 see about nine seniors on there.

01:10:20.440 Going to college on the cruise?

01:10:22.100 Yeah,

01:10:22.440 some of them were like.

01:10:23.460 That's bold,

01:10:23.700 man.

01:10:23.880 That's like,

01:10:24.620 it takes somebody to be like,

01:10:25.920 I'm going to go back to college as an adult

01:10:27.480 is one thing.

01:10:28.600 That's already tough.

01:10:29.820 Then to be like,

01:10:30.520 I'm going to go to sea for a hundred days.

01:10:32.500 That's crazy.

01:10:33.440 I'm going to go.

01:10:33.960 So he just died?

01:10:36.380 He couldn't hang,

01:10:37.400 bro.

01:10:37.580 Did they give him an honorary?

01:10:39.840 Discharge?

01:10:40.280 I don't know if we like put him into the sea

01:10:41.860 like they did with Osama bin Laden.

01:10:44.620 I don't know what they did.

01:10:46.060 I do remember we did a funeral for him one day.

01:10:48.960 Whoa.

01:10:50.320 I remember we did a funeral

01:10:51.180 and people dressed up

01:10:52.740 and we put flowers out into the ocean and stuff.

01:10:56.460 And the cruise did a big circle like that.

01:10:58.380 It was like a.

01:10:59.400 Oh my God.

01:11:00.280 I forgot about that.

01:11:01.560 That's crazy,

01:11:02.060 dude.

01:11:02.180 I wish I knew his name Mark.

01:11:04.020 I think in a hundred days,

01:11:05.400 you could have multiple relationships.

01:11:06.920 Like,

01:11:07.020 did you have a mini life within that hundred days?

01:11:10.660 Yeah.

01:11:11.080 Like you got new friends,

01:11:12.700 new this,

01:11:13.440 new that.

01:11:13.780 Like,

01:11:14.400 you know what I'm saying?

01:11:15.060 Oh yeah.

01:11:15.400 There was people from like different countries on there.

01:11:18.120 It was crazy,

01:11:19.180 bro.

01:11:19.220 What made you do that?

01:11:20.500 Like,

01:11:20.720 was that expensive?

01:11:22.080 I'm fascinated.

01:11:22.780 Cause I never heard of this.

01:11:23.720 Yeah.

01:11:23.940 It's called semester.

01:11:24.740 See,

01:11:24.900 it wasn't that it was,

01:11:26.040 uh,

01:11:26.600 I,

01:11:27.660 it wasn't that expensive,

01:11:29.060 man.

01:11:29.300 I mean,

01:11:29.480 I worked and save up so many.

01:11:30.760 I had to spend like 6,

01:11:31.960 thousand of my own dollars.

01:11:33.140 So yes,

01:11:33.580 that was a lot of money,

01:11:34.760 but I worked,

01:11:35.880 you know,

01:11:36.240 to,

01:11:36.500 to do it.

01:11:37.180 And then I got financial aid from my school.

01:11:39.240 So that applied to it.

01:11:40.840 Okay.

01:11:41.160 And then a friend,

01:11:42.640 um,

01:11:43.440 the,

01:11:43.680 I got a scholarship from the school itself from the semester at sea.

01:11:48.540 So I was really supported,

01:11:50.780 you know,

01:11:51.360 or I definitely,

01:11:52.560 you know,

01:11:53.700 I was grateful that people helped me out.

01:11:55.120 Oh yeah,

01:11:55.320 man.

01:11:55.540 What would you,

01:11:55.840 what did you major in?

01:11:57.280 I don't remember.

01:11:58.080 Oh,

01:11:58.380 um,

01:11:59.460 urban planning.

01:12:01.040 Really?

01:12:01.640 Oh yeah.

01:12:02.740 That was your major back then.

01:12:04.580 You had the wherewithal back then to be like,

01:12:06.840 I want to get into some urban planning,

01:12:08.400 urban planning,

01:12:09.240 dude.

01:12:09.580 Where are you going to put that mailbox?

01:12:11.180 Huh?

01:12:11.320 Son?

01:12:11.940 Really?

01:12:12.400 You want to plan,

01:12:13.280 like help plan cities,

01:12:14.160 like infrastructure.

01:12:15.220 Yeah.

01:12:15.640 Is that what that is?

01:12:16.380 Uh,

01:12:16.940 it's more,

01:12:17.560 I think it's like,

01:12:18.300 where do the medians go? 0.94

01:12:19.680 You know,

01:12:20.020 I think I know it.

01:12:21.180 It's like,

01:12:21.480 if you have a male,

01:12:22.940 if a mailman needs to come into town,

01:12:24.760 what route does he take to make the least amount of time?

01:12:27.740 So it's effective.

01:12:28.940 Okay.

01:12:29.300 Power lines.

01:12:30.360 Oh, 0.95

01:12:30.380 so traffic patterns and shit like that grid patterns. 0.90

01:12:33.300 Yeah. 0.80

01:12:33.580 Yeah.

01:12:34.060 A lot of urban planning,

01:12:35.080 man.

01:12:35.300 Some are,

01:12:35.760 I guess I'm a,

01:12:36.800 I'm an urban planner,

01:12:38.540 you know,

01:12:38.980 did you,

01:12:40.080 why did that strike you as interesting?

01:12:41.740 Like what,

01:12:42.220 why did you,

01:12:43.060 why'd you latch onto that?

01:12:44.200 I think I always used to walk around a lot of,

01:12:46.380 neighborhoods and stuff.

01:12:47.400 So I think I was really kind of fascinated about that.

01:12:50.180 I liked people's yards.

01:12:53.320 Um,

01:12:54.040 I liked looking at what it was like if people had a yard or didn't have a yard,

01:12:58.160 like what people's lives were like,

01:12:59.700 like rich people have yards,

01:13:01.600 you know?

01:13:01.840 So they have like space between them and like people knowing what they're doing.

01:13:05.500 Sure.

01:13:05.940 Sure.

01:13:06.180 Poor people. 1.00

01:13:06.640 It's just like fucking people. 1.00

01:13:09.920 If your mom rears back to, 1.00

01:13:13.100 to hit you hard enough, 1.00

01:13:14.440 she's going to fuck it. 1.00

01:13:15.280 A passing car is going to hit her on, 1.00

01:13:16.920 you know?

01:13:17.540 So it's like,

01:13:18.280 you can't hide it,

01:13:19.100 you know?

01:13:19.380 So I don't know,

01:13:19.920 stuff like that kind of fascinating,

01:13:21.420 fascinating me.

01:13:22.200 And I always like,

01:13:22.820 love the U S postal system.

01:13:24.520 When I was young,

01:13:25.440 it's going downhill.

01:13:26.640 Yeah.

01:13:27.080 But when I was young,

01:13:28.180 what'd you major in finance?

01:13:30.300 Oh,

01:13:30.720 really?

01:13:31.440 Just cause I didn't know what to do.

01:13:33.320 Like I had no idea.

01:13:34.220 I started college in 17 and they asked you to pick a major.

01:13:37.160 And I was literally like,

01:13:37.960 I want to make money.

01:13:39.360 Finance means money.

01:13:40.620 Yeah.

01:13:41.100 That's literally how I chose it.

01:13:42.120 I was like,

01:13:42.620 finance has to do with money.

01:13:43.920 I want to make money.

01:13:44.740 I'll do finance.

01:13:45.600 I have a degree in finance.

01:13:47.300 Did you have,

01:13:48.100 was money like a big influence for your parents?

01:13:49.900 Like make money.

01:13:50.640 Were your parents business owners?

01:13:51.840 My parents and my family had no money.

01:13:53.700 And I just was like,

01:13:54.800 I want to be successful.

01:13:56.080 It wasn't like,

01:13:56.540 I want to be like rich.

01:13:57.500 I just was like,

01:13:58.200 I just want to make sure I make money.

01:14:00.420 You know,

01:14:00.780 I can support myself.

01:14:01.840 Yeah.

01:14:02.200 And that,

01:14:02.540 that was how,

01:14:03.260 how simple that decision was.

01:14:04.840 It was like a,

01:14:05.440 and I don't mean simple,

01:14:06.140 like easy to make.

01:14:07.000 I mean,

01:14:07.280 simple,

01:14:07.700 like simpleton.

01:14:08.440 Yeah.

01:14:08.620 I was like,

01:14:09.020 I want to make money.

01:14:09.980 So I'll check finance.

01:14:11.860 And then I did it.

01:14:13.740 And then I did it.

01:14:14.620 Oh,

01:14:14.900 I guess I'll pick finance.

01:14:16.420 Cause that has money in it.

01:14:18.060 Yeah.

01:14:18.320 Yeah.

01:14:18.460 Yeah.

01:14:18.640 That's hilarious.

01:14:19.500 And that's,

01:14:19.900 and I,

01:14:20.320 I,

01:14:20.580 you know,

01:14:21.320 I don't know why I took that.

01:14:22.480 Yeah.

01:14:22.860 I have no interest in it at all.

01:14:24.700 Wow.

01:14:25.220 Yeah.

01:14:25.720 You ever see yourself going back? 0.99

01:14:26.900 Of course you don't see yourself going back to dumbest question. 0.99

01:14:34.820 I'm about to ask you, 0.98

01:14:35.720 do I ever see you getting like one of those,

01:14:38.660 like kind of like little advisors,

01:14:40.500 you know,

01:14:41.200 that the guy,

01:14:42.840 old school accountant for the mafia.

01:14:44.480 Yeah.

01:14:45.260 It's a wonderful life.

01:14:47.500 Yeah.

01:14:49.600 Yeah.

01:14:49.960 I don't know,

01:14:50.420 man.

01:14:50.620 I don't know why I did that.

01:14:51.840 It was a waste.

01:14:53.120 Besides the people and besides the relationships I forged college for me was a complete waste,

01:14:58.200 complete waste.

01:14:59.120 I retained none of it.

01:15:00.760 It was,

01:15:01.060 it was expensive.

01:15:02.080 I got a scholarship too,

01:15:03.040 but did you,

01:15:03.680 were you a smart kid?

01:15:05.140 What were you?

01:15:05.800 Were you like a nerdy kid?

01:15:06.980 Were you like an athletic kid?

01:15:08.140 Were you just kind of like a,

01:15:09.260 neither?

01:15:09.800 I was like Italian.

01:15:10.840 I did.

01:15:11.340 I,

01:15:11.500 I'm half Italian.

01:15:15.300 Are you?

01:15:15.760 Yeah.

01:15:15.940 Yeah.

01:15:16.200 Yeah.

01:15:16.700 I have Italian,

01:15:17.440 half Cuban and Puerto Rican.

01:15:19.200 Oh,

01:15:19.620 wow.

01:15:20.340 Spanish.

01:15:20.700 Yeah.

01:15:20.900 But yeah,

01:15:22.820 right.

01:15:23.200 So no,

01:15:23.740 I was good.

01:15:24.220 Grammar school was like straight A's.

01:15:25.980 High school was pretty much like low A's,

01:15:28.900 but not a lot of application.

01:15:31.200 So that was good.

01:15:32.060 You just,

01:15:32.400 you could do it.

01:15:33.620 And I just was like fun.

01:15:35.400 Yeah.

01:15:35.880 I wasn't like a super,

01:15:36.980 I played hockey for,

01:15:38.520 for in high school for a little bit,

01:15:39.600 but I wasn't great.

01:15:40.500 I played like my,

01:15:41.780 I was like signed up and I played,

01:15:43.580 you know,

01:15:44.060 basketball and baseball and grammar school was bad.

01:15:46.020 Yeah.

01:15:46.320 It wasn't good.

01:15:47.060 Yeah.

01:15:47.400 You know,

01:15:47.860 I tell this story about me and my,

01:15:49.180 so that our school got a basketball team for the first year and I was in seventh grade.

01:15:54.160 And if you were in eighth grade,

01:15:55.120 you automatically were on varsity and then,

01:15:56.820 or something like that.

01:15:57.260 And everybody else had to try out.

01:15:58.820 So we tried out,

01:16:00.060 I wasn't good,

01:16:00.800 you know,

01:16:01.000 but I tried out.

01:16:01.780 I was good in like my neighborhood,

01:16:03.300 you know,

01:16:03.740 when people came in and had like skill sets,

01:16:05.900 you know what I mean?

01:16:06.220 That wasn't good.

01:16:06.940 Right.

01:16:07.480 And so everybody made varsity and everybody else who didn't make it automatically,

01:16:11.120 if you want to play,

01:16:11.740 you could.

01:16:12.480 And that was JV.

01:16:13.440 And then the coach for JV,

01:16:14.980 we didn't have one.

01:16:15.940 And so my friend's mom volunteered and she volunteered and she just was like learning basketball with us.

01:16:24.220 And then we used to have,

01:16:26.340 it was like,

01:16:26.980 it was literally like the,

01:16:27.940 like,

01:16:28.260 like the,

01:16:28.720 like the Molly crew of,

01:16:30.660 it could have been a cartoon.

01:16:31.760 It was like all those castaways on this team.

01:16:34.320 And we used to have these,

01:16:35.540 these,

01:16:36.100 these practices.

01:16:37.020 And she used to have a clipboard, 0.99

01:16:38.460 like the dry erase clipboard and just be like,

01:16:40.700 go this way.

01:16:41.680 You know,

01:16:41.920 I go to our first game.

01:16:43.880 We played 14 games that year.

01:16:45.280 We went on 14.

01:16:46.920 Our first game.

01:16:48.780 I was like,

01:16:49.440 watch,

01:16:49.660 we're going to play these kids that are definitely like,

01:16:52.140 these kids are all going to be from like urban areas.

01:16:54.380 They're going to be like,

01:16:55.180 sure enough,

01:16:56.160 every kid on the team was six foot.

01:16:58.140 And we,

01:16:59.840 and they like played basketball,

01:17:01.400 like basketball was life for them.

01:17:02.960 As opposed to us,

01:17:04.140 they,

01:17:04.320 they beat us 44,

01:17:05.520 nothing.

01:17:07.200 44,

01:17:07.740 nothing dude.

01:17:08.280 And then after you'd line up in the middle of the thing to kit hands and like,

01:17:12.040 then go get a snack upstairs.

01:17:13.100 We used to play at the Catholic union organization with the CYO.

01:17:16.120 So it was a CYO league.

01:17:17.340 So it was all the Catholic schools.

01:17:18.320 Right.

01:17:18.520 So we would say thank you.

01:17:20.240 But at the end of the first game,

01:17:21.600 it was traumatizing dude.

01:17:22.820 At the end of the first game,

01:17:24.080 the parents were so into it on their side.

01:17:27.220 Yeah.

01:17:27.560 Right.

01:17:27.780 And they were screaming and yelling and everything.

01:17:29.880 And then at the buzzer,

01:17:32.060 the parents started to chant 44 zip,

01:17:35.960 zip 44,

01:17:37.040 zip 44.

01:17:38.140 And they just came down off the stand. 1.00

01:17:39.800 It was screaming it and waving shit. 0.99

01:17:41.620 And while we were trying to shake hands, 1.00

01:17:42.940 they were getting our face like 44 zip,

01:17:44.600 zip.

01:17:44.720 And then we had to go up the steps together to go to like the,

01:17:47.440 the like common area to have like our Capri suns.

01:17:50.180 And we were going up the stairs and it was screaming.

01:17:52.100 It was bellowing in the hallways and they were screaming that it's 44 zip zip.

01:17:56.540 And I was like, 0.99

01:17:57.400 damn man, 0.99

01:17:58.120 it was traumatizing. 1.00

01:17:59.680 Damn. 0.99

01:18:00.260 Now we scored points in every other game, 1.00

01:18:02.180 but we never got shut out again,

01:18:04.240 but we went on 14.

01:18:05.140 The second game,

01:18:05.920 56 to three,

01:18:06.920 we lost.

01:18:07.460 I had the three points.

01:18:08.340 You did?

01:18:08.740 Yeah.

01:18:09.660 And then they still did the,

01:18:11.940 we still were part of the awards dinner.

01:18:13.700 At the end of the season,

01:18:14.600 we were part of the awards dinner at the end of the season.

01:18:18.220 Dude,

01:18:18.760 here's the worst part of it.

01:18:20.640 I was the team's MVP.

01:18:22.480 I swear to God,

01:18:23.400 I accepted the award.

01:18:24.620 I got up and I took the trophy in front of everyone.

01:18:27.640 You get to,

01:18:28.100 at the dinner,

01:18:28.780 you had to pay to be there.

01:18:29.800 I had 16 points on the season.

01:18:32.240 Total.

01:18:32.960 Total.

01:18:33.560 Yeah.

01:18:34.020 16 points.

01:18:34.720 And I was MVP.

01:18:35.860 Praise God.

01:18:36.500 Isn't that great?

01:18:37.280 But did it give you some confidence though?

01:18:39.140 No.

01:18:39.740 Really?

01:18:40.120 Really,

01:18:40.480 really knocked my confidence down.

01:18:41.900 Just game after game.

01:18:43.220 Just 14 games of burying my confidence.

01:18:45.720 In the last game of the season,

01:18:47.620 we didn't realize,

01:18:48.800 we,

01:18:49.800 something happened with the universe,

01:18:51.820 and we were like landing shots.

01:18:53.380 We were sinking shots.

01:18:54.480 And then at the buzzer,

01:18:56.020 we huddled up,

01:18:57.100 and our coach goes,

01:18:58.560 look up.

01:18:59.020 And we looked up,

01:18:59.600 and we were winning.

01:19:00.220 It was like 14,

01:19:01.220 13 or something.

01:19:02.340 And we went,

01:19:02.800 we just looked at each other like,

01:19:03.620 we're winning? 0.99

01:19:04.160 We're fucking winning. 0.99

01:19:04.940 We lost. 0.99

01:19:05.440 But it was like,

01:19:06.600 that was all like,

01:19:07.620 that was like our big moment,

01:19:08.880 like our Rudy moment,

01:19:09.920 like at the house.

01:19:10.400 Look up.

01:19:11.440 Yeah.

01:19:12.140 We had no idea we were winning,

01:19:13.660 you know?

01:19:14.140 Here's a question right here

01:19:15.400 from a beautiful young fella right there. 1.00

01:19:17.460 Thank you,

01:19:17.860 brother.

01:19:19.060 Hey,

01:19:19.340 Sal.

01:19:19.760 Hey,

01:19:20.020 Theo.

01:19:20.580 Big time fan of both of you.

01:19:22.240 I just wanted to ask about Sal's like,

01:19:24.840 school life.

01:19:25.480 We never really heard much about his child life,

01:19:27.260 and I just want to know,

01:19:28.140 what was the worst thing you probably did in school? 1.00

01:19:32.440 Damn. 1.00

01:19:33.020 School life. 1.00

01:19:33.840 I wasn't bad in school.

01:19:36.600 I was the class clown.

01:19:37.600 Were you? 0.52

01:19:37.940 But respectfully.

01:19:39.020 Ooh.

01:19:39.700 You know,

01:19:40.020 I was like,

01:19:40.980 I was a likable,

01:19:42.080 I didn't like push,

01:19:43.960 it wasn't ever disrespectful.

01:19:45.200 Right.

01:19:45.500 You wouldn't do anything mean.

01:19:46.840 The joke,

01:19:47.340 I was always there with the joke,

01:19:48.620 always there like to get the laugh,

01:19:50.240 no matter what I said.

01:19:51.220 Yeah.

01:19:51.640 Which sounds stereotypical,

01:19:52.820 but that's what it was.

01:19:54.000 Like always when we had school functions on stage,

01:19:56.580 I would volunteer,

01:19:58.180 I'd do impressions of the teachers.

01:20:00.100 Oh yeah.

01:20:00.380 Like all that stuff.

01:20:01.840 Yeah.

01:20:02.120 I used to love the Jeffersons.

01:20:03.760 Well,

01:20:04.020 the Jeffersons is my favorite show.

01:20:05.340 Oh yeah.

01:20:06.020 Of all time.

01:20:07.080 And so it was syndicated when I was little.

01:20:08.540 I used to watch it with my grandparents.

01:20:09.780 I used to live with them.

01:20:10.540 So I love it.

01:20:11.640 It just has a place in my heart.

01:20:12.920 So I would memorize the Jeffersons.

01:20:15.660 Like I would get like a pad and feverishly write down like the things they said,

01:20:20.580 the things they said.

01:20:21.520 And then I would,

01:20:22.500 then I would memorize that and I would have an impression.

01:20:25.700 I would do George Jefferson and word got out in the school.

01:20:28.480 So people used to ask me like third grade.

01:20:30.160 They were like,

01:20:30.500 teacher would be like,

01:20:31.780 all right,

01:20:32.060 if everyone's good at the end,

01:20:33.300 Sal will get up and do the George Jefferson scenes.

01:20:35.700 So it was like that.

01:20:36.940 That was never disrespectful.

01:20:37.980 One time I got in trouble in high school,

01:20:40.800 we were sitting on the steps and this teacher,

01:20:42.720 she was a, 0.97

01:20:43.140 she was a nutcase dude. 1.00

01:20:44.140 She was a Spanish teacher.

01:20:45.540 Her name was Ms. DiGiulio.

01:20:46.880 If she's out there and she's watching and we know that she is,

01:20:49.940 I'm sorry,

01:20:50.460 but it's all going to come out now.

01:20:52.320 We,

01:20:52.560 people know Mr.

01:20:53.600 DiGiulio and you should.

01:20:54.880 Yeah.

01:20:55.340 And she was like,

01:20:56.620 I think she was a bipolar.

01:20:58.600 Yeah.

01:20:59.440 I didn't know then.

01:21:00.800 Well,

01:21:00.940 they didn't have it then,

01:21:01.700 but I understand now without a doubt she was.

01:21:04.620 Wow.

01:21:04.840 She'd be nice.

01:21:05.560 And then she,

01:21:06.300 she would flip out on you.

01:21:08.900 And,

01:21:09.320 but we didn't know what it was.

01:21:10.720 So we just thought like, 1.00

01:21:12.460 fuck this lady. 1.00

01:21:13.420 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:13.640 Oh yeah.

01:21:13.900 Totally.

01:21:14.360 I mean,

01:21:14.500 but then,

01:21:14.860 then you want to,

01:21:15.400 you want it to be nice.

01:21:16.160 Cause when she actually turned,

01:21:17.880 it was like,

01:21:18.420 you kind of got nervous because she,

01:21:20.920 she had this look.

01:21:22.280 So one time she was coming down the steps and it was in between,

01:21:24.800 between classes and we would just mind our own business.

01:21:27.560 I was sitting on the steps and she turned to one row of steps and she was on

01:21:30.540 land to come down the other.

01:21:31.400 And she just freaked.

01:21:32.400 And she went like, 0.88

01:21:33.120 get up and get out of my way.

01:21:34.780 I'm coming down the stairs.

01:21:36.360 And it rubbed me the wrong way.

01:21:38.460 I was like 15.

01:21:39.620 I just turned around and I said,

01:21:40.740 okay,

01:21:41.260 we're not really doing anything bad here.

01:21:42.800 So why don't you ask us nicely first?

01:21:44.820 Yeah.

01:21:45.180 And she was like,

01:21:46.040 what did you say?

01:21:46.660 And I said,

01:21:47.060 ask us nicely.

01:21:48.400 And then she gave me a detention and she wrote it on there in quotes,

01:21:52.660 told him to move out of the way on the steps.

01:21:54.840 He responded,

01:21:55.660 quote unquote,

01:21:56.320 ask me nicely,

01:21:57.240 which honestly,

01:21:58.920 is that really the tension worthy?

01:22:00.700 You know what I mean?

01:22:01.280 Like you screamed at me to get off the steps so rudely.

01:22:04.040 And all I was asking for was common decency.

01:22:06.420 And then she put me in the slammer. 0.91

01:22:08.060 Dude,

01:22:08.420 we had this lady, 1.00

01:22:10.320 beautiful lady and RIP. 1.00

01:22:11.940 She did die.

01:22:13.300 Her name.

01:22:14.860 Everybody you've spoken about on this podcast so far has died.

01:22:18.100 Really?

01:22:18.480 Everybody.

01:22:18.880 I think,

01:22:19.360 I think it's the fourth person you spoke about that has died.

01:22:21.820 Dude.

01:22:22.180 I think just the area we were in,

01:22:24.400 it just.

01:22:26.180 Breeded,

01:22:26.860 you know,

01:22:27.340 people were going to die.

01:22:29.640 I hate to say that.

01:22:32.480 All right.

01:22:33.540 I don't know.

01:22:34.320 Maybe I have something about that,

01:22:35.540 but it's like this lady's name was,

01:22:38.620 what was her name?

01:22:39.760 She was principal.

01:22:43.440 Short Italian.

01:22:44.580 Nancy Woods was her name.

01:22:46.140 And she was Italian,

01:22:47.000 700% Italian.

01:22:48.160 You know,

01:22:48.660 she was swamp water Italian.

01:22:50.360 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:22:51.020 She fucking, 1.00

01:22:51.980 you know, 1.00

01:22:52.860 she had bay leaves in her calzone.

01:22:56.480 You know,

01:22:56.940 she had just a little mix of things going on.

01:22:59.280 And she,

01:22:59.880 she,

01:23:02.220 what were we talking about?

01:23:04.900 You,

01:23:05.600 you,

01:23:06.480 also a detention.

01:23:08.020 Detention.

01:23:08.580 Yeah.

01:23:09.200 Yeah.

01:23:09.460 And getting in trouble.

01:23:10.260 Asked me nicely.

01:23:11.300 She moved.

01:23:11.880 She had bipolar.

01:23:13.680 Yeah.

01:23:14.140 Spanish teacher.

01:23:15.440 Wonder what Miss Woods did. 1.00

01:23:17.280 She must've done something I was going to tell you.

01:23:19.260 She died.

01:23:20.280 She did die.

01:23:21.740 Yeah.

01:23:22.020 She died a couple of years,

01:23:22.780 like a year ago.

01:23:23.260 I think. 1.00

01:23:23.880 Damn. 0.99

01:23:24.860 She was cool. 0.99

01:23:26.300 Um,

01:23:27.020 Oh,

01:23:27.380 do we had,

01:23:28.420 uh,

01:23:29.440 we had this guy,

01:23:31.680 Mr.

01:23:32.360 Coleman,

01:23:32.700 he would sleep in the trunk of his car at lunch. 1.00

01:23:34.580 He would go get in the fucking trunk, 1.00

01:23:35.900 really trunk of his car and fucking sleep in it. 1.00

01:23:38.920 Like open. 0.99

01:23:39.800 Yeah.

01:23:40.160 Open it up.

01:23:40.900 Get in there.

01:23:41.480 He just didn't mind much that no one saw him or anything.

01:23:43.580 It just was like some weird habit he had or something,

01:23:45.860 you know,

01:23:45.980 maybe something of growing up he used to do or his family did.

01:23:49.760 But,

01:23:50.240 uh,

01:23:50.860 we had another teacher,

01:23:52.140 Mr.

01:23:52.460 Lambert.

01:23:52.980 He,

01:23:53.180 and he passed away at alcoholism,

01:23:54.700 but he,

01:23:56.040 I remember once I was cheating on a test in his class and my cheat sheet fell on the floor

01:23:59.840 and he walked by and he goes,

01:24:01.600 excuse me,

01:24:02.060 I believe you dropped this.

01:24:03.000 He didn't even realize it was a cheat sheet.

01:24:04.760 No.

01:24:05.960 That's amazing.

01:24:07.680 It was unbelievable.

01:24:09.580 He's like,

01:24:10.340 pardon me.

01:24:11.320 Yeah.

01:24:11.560 Pardon me.

01:24:12.060 Wow.

01:24:12.440 I believe you dropped this,

01:24:13.080 buddy. 1.00

01:24:13.560 Shit. 1.00

01:24:14.020 You used to cheat in school? 1.00

01:24:14.900 He was the sweetest guy.

01:24:15.660 We all cheated.

01:24:16.360 Everyone cheated.

01:24:17.300 Everybody did.

01:24:18.460 A lot of people cheated off me,

01:24:20.220 but I also cheated too.

01:24:21.540 Did you?

01:24:22.180 Yeah.

01:24:22.840 People would just be like,

01:24:23.880 when you had teachers that liked that,

01:24:25.420 they were like aloof or whatever.

01:24:26.300 You'd just be like,

01:24:26.720 what do you got?

01:24:27.100 What do you got for this?

01:24:27.700 What do you got for that?

01:24:28.280 It was fun.

01:24:28.800 Sometimes you get,

01:24:29.500 if you got caught though,

01:24:30.560 oh man,

01:24:31.780 I remember one kid got caught,

01:24:33.120 got pulled out of the room.

01:24:34.600 And,

01:24:34.780 uh,

01:24:34.980 there was one point where this eighth grade teacher,

01:24:37.020 his name was Ms.

01:24:37.660 Dawson.

01:24:38.240 She was also a gym teacher that became an eighth grade teacher.

01:24:41.640 And she was like a thick, 1.00

01:24:43.500 like short haired Coke bottle glass.

01:24:45.440 Like she was,

01:24:46.300 she was like the, 0.99

01:24:47.580 the,

01:24:47.860 the,

01:24:48.020 the lesbian back then. 0.52

01:24:49.160 Oh yeah.

01:24:49.620 You know,

01:24:49.780 like she was,

01:24:50.480 and you didn't want to mess with her.

01:24:52.080 She was intimidating.

01:24:53.720 Like at all times,

01:24:55.040 at all times.

01:24:56.400 And everyone,

01:24:57.300 everyone was in line with her.

01:24:58.460 I luckily she was gone by the time I got to eighth grade,

01:25:00.840 but she was doing a proctoring and exam and she caught someone and she took

01:25:05.260 this kid James out of my,

01:25:06.380 of our class.

01:25:06.900 And then he answered her background and she,

01:25:08.460 she grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the cinder block wall like 0.94

01:25:13.060 that.

01:25:13.740 Dude,

01:25:14.220 no joke. 1.00

01:25:15.300 Damn. 1.00

01:25:16.080 Yeah, 1.00

01:25:16.500 man.

01:25:16.960 Teachers used to get pretty graphic,

01:25:18.480 man.

01:25:18.640 They used to get on point.

01:25:19.520 They used to let them get buck a little more.

01:25:21.000 That's nuts.

01:25:21.920 Yeah.

01:25:22.140 For our age,

01:25:23.120 my dad,

01:25:24.120 my dad in like young,

01:25:27.840 young grammar school,

01:25:28.820 whatever had a nun like tell him to put his hands out and wailed him on the 1.00

01:25:34.140 hands with the ruler.

01:25:34.900 Right.

01:25:35.400 So my grandmother gets a call,

01:25:37.220 says,

01:25:37.520 come down to the school.

01:25:38.780 Your son is suspended.

01:25:40.300 Oh,

01:25:41.200 and he,

01:25:41.740 she says,

01:25:42.120 what happened?

01:25:42.800 She gets down to the school.

01:25:43.920 She goes,

01:25:44.480 your son is suspended.

01:25:45.060 What happened?

01:25:45.540 Well,

01:25:45.720 the teacher,

01:25:46.440 he was misbehaving.

01:25:47.660 So the teacher told him,

01:25:48.320 put his hands out and wailed them with a nun, 0.99

01:25:50.820 a nun,

01:25:51.340 wailed them with the ruler. 0.89

01:25:52.400 He took his metal lunchbox and slammed her in the face with it. 1.00

01:25:56.040 My father did that,

01:25:57.440 got kicked out. 0.99

01:25:58.120 And then my grandmother said she deserved every fucking bit of that. 1.00

01:26:01.560 Wow. 0.99

01:26:02.160 And she goes,

01:26:02.640 I'm taking him out of the school.

01:26:03.700 You're not suspended.

01:26:04.300 I'm taking him out. 1.00

01:26:05.440 Damn. 1.00

01:26:05.920 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:06.400 Can you imagine that's hitting a nun in the face with a metal lunchbox, 0.99

01:26:09.860 but retaliation,

01:26:11.660 right?

01:26:12.180 You know?

01:26:12.620 Oh yeah.

01:26:13.000 Which like in this day and age,

01:26:14.140 if that happened in school right now,

01:26:15.860 the kid would not even be,

01:26:17.420 you can't in this day and age,

01:26:18.820 if that kid hit her back,

01:26:20.020 if she hit him like that,

01:26:21.200 the kid would be a hero.

01:26:22.360 Yeah.

01:26:23.220 The hero.

01:26:24.080 The kid would be a hero.

01:26:24.780 It's crazy how it's all set up now.

01:26:27.420 Everything is like,

01:26:28.500 um,

01:26:29.500 and it almost doesn't even matter what people do.

01:26:32.260 It's just what is recorded and then shown.

01:26:34.460 Yeah.

01:26:34.680 That's the even crazier part.

01:26:36.080 Yeah.

01:26:36.960 Um,

01:26:37.360 there was so many things different back then.

01:26:39.000 Like we didn't know she had bipolar.

01:26:40.280 We didn't know when kids in the class were autistic.

01:26:42.220 Like we didn't know anything.

01:26:43.440 It was just like,

01:26:44.120 Oh,

01:26:44.200 he's just weird.

01:26:45.060 You know,

01:26:45.280 like he's just,

01:26:45.840 he's just a little different or whatever.

01:26:47.120 Like,

01:26:47.460 but we didn't have these terms,

01:26:49.300 you know?

01:26:49.560 No,

01:26:49.760 no,

01:26:49.960 everybody was,

01:26:50.900 I remember I got in learning disabled for a little while.

01:26:53.020 You know,

01:26:53.240 they,

01:26:53.460 they put me in there for like,

01:26:54.880 um,

01:26:55.420 a little while when I was in third grade and back then,

01:26:58.760 dude,

01:26:58.960 it was,

01:26:59.720 you know, 1.00

01:27:00.080 everybody was in that bitch, 1.00

01:27:02.320 you know, 1.00

01:27:02.580 you could run too fast.

01:27:03.880 You were in there.

01:27:04.460 Like people in a wheelchair, 1.00

01:27:07.260 autism,

01:27:08.340 people with no arms.

01:27:09.400 Like it was just like this crazy bunch,

01:27:11.620 dude.

01:27:11.760 You know,

01:27:12.800 um,

01:27:13.280 I got,

01:27:13.840 I got asked if I,

01:27:14.940 a couple of years ago,

01:27:15.980 I had a bunch of people,

01:27:16.820 I got,

01:27:18.260 I got a bunch of messages like telling me about autism.

01:27:21.520 Some asking,

01:27:22.400 like asking if I have it.

01:27:23.960 And it once out of nowhere,

01:27:26.040 I didn't know like why,

01:27:27.560 like I just,

01:27:28.540 like I,

01:27:29.100 I was,

01:27:29.420 I was,

01:27:29.900 it was like,

01:27:30.240 I just saw a bunch of messages at once that were about autism.

01:27:32.680 I didn't know why,

01:27:33.220 but,

01:27:34.140 um,

01:27:34.700 I think like,

01:27:35.320 I think I,

01:27:35.880 it was right after I did an appearance on,

01:27:39.200 uh,

01:27:39.500 uh,

01:27:40.000 Regis,

01:27:40.500 uh,

01:27:40.680 not Regis,

01:27:41.240 uh,

01:27:41.400 Kelly Ripper.

01:27:42.640 And,

01:27:42.960 and at the time,

01:27:44.340 Chris Pratt was the,

01:27:45.740 we did it.

01:27:46.340 We did press.

01:27:47.480 I had,

01:27:48.440 I went,

01:27:49.440 we were doing press and we went on the morning show with Kelly Ripper.

01:27:52.920 Chris Pratt was the guest.

01:27:53.900 So,

01:27:54.020 you know,

01:27:54.180 Chris Pratt.

01:27:54.700 Yeah.

01:27:55.160 You know,

01:27:55.540 I feel like you might have for some reason.

01:27:57.800 I met,

01:27:58.220 he invited me to be in,

01:27:59.300 a film that he did.

01:28:00.600 Okay.

01:28:00.960 Yeah.

01:28:01.200 Yeah.

01:28:01.400 That was,

01:28:01.920 oh yeah,

01:28:02.120 that was,

01:28:02.560 yeah.

01:28:02.960 Cause I think we were going to do the,

01:28:04.180 the cruise again and you had to do a movie.

01:28:07.680 Was that?

01:28:07.960 Oh yeah,

01:28:08.320 that's right.

01:28:08.920 Yeah.

01:28:09.420 That's right.

01:28:09.840 I wanted to get you back.

01:28:10.840 Cause you were so sweet on the first cruise.

01:28:12.560 I had booked it up completely and you were like,

01:28:14.780 I'll just come on,

01:28:15.480 like I'll hang and everything.

01:28:16.780 And he was so sweet,

01:28:17.920 man.

01:28:18.080 And then I wanted to,

01:28:18.780 you know,

01:28:19.220 I was trying to get you,

01:28:20.220 but yeah,

01:28:20.660 anyway,

01:28:21.460 he's on and he's in this movie,

01:28:23.240 the Magnificent seven,

01:28:24.140 that remake of that Western movie at the time.

01:28:26.560 It was just came out as a blockbuster.

01:28:28.340 It was like an ensemble cast of a list,

01:28:30.780 Morgan Freeman's in it.

01:28:31.840 Oh no,

01:28:32.100 it was Denzel.

01:28:32.680 Denzel was in it.

01:28:33.560 Right.

01:28:33.980 So the night before I had gotten really,

01:28:37.140 really,

01:28:37.440 really drunk.

01:28:38.880 I don't normally do that,

01:28:40.060 but like,

01:28:40.340 I just,

01:28:40.740 I don't remember what the,

01:28:41.420 I was having a wedding,

01:28:41.960 a wedding the night.

01:28:42.600 Oh yeah.

01:28:43.260 So I show up,

01:28:44.060 I am hung over with the shakes.

01:28:46.920 Okay.

01:28:47.280 And you have to get arrive at like six 50 in the morning and for the morning show.

01:28:51.160 Right.

01:28:51.420 So I get there and I'm trembling,

01:28:53.440 man.

01:28:54.440 Now I don't know what to do.

01:28:55.240 And I'm like,

01:28:56.040 I can't go on.

01:28:56.760 I said,

01:28:57.100 can I please,

01:28:57.580 can you please find an office for me to lay down in?

01:28:59.740 And they did.

01:29:00.440 Cause we weren't going to be on for an hour.

01:29:01.600 They took me to someone's office.

01:29:02.600 I laid down on a couch in someone's office,

01:29:04.400 just shaking.

01:29:05.660 So I'm watching the,

01:29:08.080 the,

01:29:08.320 the show on the TV in there.

01:29:09.800 It's in the feed.

01:29:10.400 Right.

01:29:11.160 And then like,

01:29:12.820 so,

01:29:13.060 so at the beginning they give away a prize.

01:29:14.740 Have you ever watched Regis and Kathy Lee when they were little,

01:29:16.980 but I know about it.

01:29:18.300 So every day they take a phone,

01:29:19.620 they just take a phone call and someone in the audience.

01:29:22.140 And if the person in the audience answers correctly,

01:29:24.160 like them and the phone person wins,

01:29:25.240 like a trip or like a something big every morning,

01:29:28.080 every day.

01:29:28.700 Oh wow.

01:29:29.200 So they're doing this trip.

01:29:30.360 Right.

01:29:30.800 So they asked the lady a question and it's easy, 0.99

01:29:34.760 but she gets it wrong.

01:29:35.940 Right.

01:29:36.460 And then Chris Pratt goes,

01:29:38.200 I don't worry,

01:29:38.640 we'll give you the trip anyway.

01:29:40.020 It was a vacation.

01:29:41.300 And then on air,

01:29:42.880 he goes,

01:29:43.240 what,

01:29:43.500 what?

01:29:43.820 Oh,

01:29:43.940 I can't do that.

01:29:44.560 Cause it's like law.

01:29:45.620 It's gambling.

01:29:46.260 Game show.

01:29:46.860 Right.

01:29:47.080 Right.

01:29:47.340 So then he goes,

01:29:48.080 Oh,

01:29:48.240 I can't.

01:29:48.860 And on air,

01:29:49.440 he's like,

01:29:49.780 Oh,

01:29:50.080 I don't know what to do.

01:29:50.820 And everyone's like,

01:29:51.320 Oh,

01:29:51.640 and then he goes,

01:29:52.140 I'll give you the trip.

01:29:54.280 I'll just buy it.

01:29:54.860 I'll give it to you.

01:29:55.700 And everyone's like,

01:29:56.400 ah,

01:29:56.800 it went nuts.

01:29:57.360 Right.

01:29:58.140 And it was like,

01:29:59.040 so nice.

01:29:59.460 And then Kelly's like,

01:30:00.260 I won't do that to you.

01:30:01.180 Like me and you are going to split the trip.

01:30:02.780 You're still going.

01:30:03.760 And the audience goes crazy.

01:30:05.020 Right.

01:30:06.600 Then Denzel Washington comes out next and he's in the movie,

01:30:09.560 Magnificent,

01:30:10.100 Magnificent seven with him.

01:30:11.200 And he comes out.

01:30:12.140 And the first thing he says was,

01:30:14.240 he goes,

01:30:15.000 I just,

01:30:15.320 I was watching on the feed.

01:30:16.500 He goes,

01:30:16.840 what happened?

01:30:17.980 How much was the trip?

01:30:19.260 And Chris Pratt goes like 5,700.

01:30:21.300 And he goes,

01:30:21.600 three ways.

01:30:23.420 I'm going to go three ways with you on the trip.

01:30:25.000 So everyone goes nuts.

01:30:26.020 Right.

01:30:26.480 So I'm laying there.

01:30:27.340 You know how you always need stories on these things.

01:30:29.200 Yeah.

01:30:29.560 They want you to have stories.

01:30:30.420 So I'm laying there like half sick and I'm like,

01:30:33.100 all right,

01:30:33.400 I got an idea.

01:30:34.340 So I'm,

01:30:35.340 I have this thing I'm going to do in my head.

01:30:37.120 And then I'm like,

01:30:37.500 I want to do something else.

01:30:38.400 These things never go well.

01:30:39.540 Morning shows,

01:30:40.080 they like rush you through.

01:30:41.360 You never really get to really make jokes,

01:30:43.220 you know?

01:30:43.700 So I was like, 1.00

01:30:44.460 fuck it. 1.00

01:30:44.800 So I had our assistant go to the store, 1.00

01:30:46.280 get a pack of Hanes t-shirts,

01:30:47.880 white Hanes undershirts and a marker.

01:30:49.880 And I wrote,

01:30:51.540 I in my own handwriting,

01:30:52.960 I wrote magnificent seven on,

01:30:55.140 on a Hanes t-shirt.

01:30:56.200 And I put that on except for fun.

01:30:59.160 I spelt it wrong.

01:31:00.100 I wrote magnificent savant S E V A N and magnificent. 1.00

01:31:04.420 So magnificent savant.

01:31:05.460 So I was like,

01:31:06.260 I'll just,

01:31:06.800 I'll go out there and I'll go out there.

01:31:09.020 And what I'll do is they'll immediately see my shirt and be like,

01:31:11.720 Oh,

01:31:12.040 what is that?

01:31:12.680 You know?

01:31:13.040 And I'll be like,

01:31:13.740 Oh,

01:31:13.920 I just thought that you and Denzel needed help promoting the movie.

01:31:17.060 Obviously they don't need help.

01:31:17.980 Right.

01:31:18.180 I'm like,

01:31:18.520 so I just want to support and help you guys anyway.

01:31:20.620 I can't,

01:31:20.880 I know you need the help.

01:31:21.860 And then I thought they would pick on how I misspelled it.

01:31:24.100 And it would be a nice joke.

01:31:25.200 So I put on the shirt.

01:31:26.820 So we're behind the thing.

01:31:28.160 We're ready to go out there.

01:31:28.920 I'm wearing his Hanes t-shirt that has a marker on it.

01:31:30.820 It says magnificent savant.

01:31:31.940 And they call us out and we go out and people are cheering.

01:31:35.580 I'm waving.

01:31:36.020 Right.

01:31:36.160 And we go to sit down and right before we sit down,

01:31:38.820 the audience stops clapping.

01:31:40.300 I go,

01:31:40.540 I just want to let everybody here know just off the top.

01:31:42.960 I'm not going four ways on the trip with the woman. 1.00

01:31:45.640 Right.

01:31:46.040 I thought it would get a laugh,

01:31:47.400 but they took me seriously.

01:31:49.180 It just bombed.

01:31:50.440 And then Kelly goes,

01:31:51.660 no,

01:31:51.860 no,

01:31:51.960 it's okay.

01:31:52.380 We're covering it.

01:31:53.460 It's okay.

01:31:53.980 And I was like,

01:31:54.900 well,

01:31:55.100 that was a joke.

01:31:56.600 You know,

01:31:56.720 then I sat down to the interview and nobody mentioned the shirt,

01:31:59.520 dude.

01:32:00.640 Nobody mentioned the shirt.

01:32:02.480 So I,

01:32:03.460 and then after that,

01:32:04.780 I just started getting autistic messages.

01:32:06.760 Cause I just went,

01:32:07.980 like I came out.

01:32:10.180 I was like,

01:32:10.400 I'm not paying.

01:32:11.200 I'm not paying for the,

01:32:12.560 for the trip.

01:32:13.320 And then I sat down and my shirt was handmade and misspelled and nobody

01:32:17.240 mentioned.

01:32:17.600 And then after that,

01:32:18.080 everyone was like,

01:32:18.540 yo,

01:32:18.780 like they just sending me links.

01:32:23.040 People like,

01:32:23.660 Hey,

01:32:23.780 can you come speak at our school?

01:32:26.520 Oh,

01:32:27.140 dude.

01:32:28.160 Oh,

01:32:28.440 praise,

01:32:29.280 bro.

01:32:29.700 That's been,

01:32:30.400 it's online.

01:32:31.720 It's online.

01:32:32.700 Like you can pull it up. 0.99

01:32:35.760 Damn, 1.00

01:32:36.220 bro. 1.00

01:32:36.420 That's bananas,

01:32:37.280 man.

01:32:38.080 I'm trying to think if I had like a real good thing like that,

01:32:41.020 where I went on to a talk show.

01:32:43.360 You,

01:32:43.920 you,

01:32:44.380 do you like talk shows?

01:32:45.360 Do you do when you do them?

01:32:46.380 Cause I always feel like they,

01:32:47.360 they do local news a lot.

01:32:48.980 Yeah.

01:32:49.600 No,

01:32:49.900 I'm good.

01:32:50.240 I just,

01:32:50.800 I'm good.

01:32:51.280 I used to do,

01:32:52.240 I used to do local news a lot.

01:32:54.840 So yeah,

01:32:55.680 yeah,

01:32:55.800 yeah.

01:32:55.960 Right.

01:32:56.120 Right.

01:32:56.280 Right.

01:32:56.300 From when you're going to town.

01:32:57.440 Yeah.

01:32:57.740 But I never did.

01:32:58.700 I'm trying to think if I did,

01:32:59.460 I never did like any panels,

01:33:00.700 like a lot of comedians,

01:33:03.040 like once a lot of guys quit going to like the tonight show and stuff like

01:33:06.360 that,

01:33:06.540 you didn't really do that much of that type of thing.

01:33:08.580 Yeah.

01:33:09.460 Um,

01:33:10.380 they always just want you to,

01:33:11.700 I got one coming up.

01:33:12.640 I'm doing,

01:33:13.140 I guess,

01:33:13.860 Seth Meyers.

01:33:14.400 And every time I go on,

01:33:15.320 I just feel like it just feels so canned.

01:33:18.440 Yeah.

01:33:18.840 Cause they asked you to,

01:33:19.840 they pre-interview.

01:33:20.960 Right.

01:33:21.360 But yeah,

01:33:22.440 it's just a different experience.

01:33:23.500 I'm sure.

01:33:24.240 Yeah.

01:33:24.580 Um,

01:33:25.480 but I was going to set straight,

01:33:27.780 but is he?

01:33:28.680 Yeah.

01:33:28.840 He makes it easy.

01:33:29.780 Yeah.

01:33:29.960 That's cool.

01:33:30.500 He's nice.

01:33:31.100 Yeah.

01:33:32.280 Yeah.

01:33:32.680 I'm trying to think of,

01:33:33.840 um,

01:33:34.140 there was something I was going to tell you about.

01:33:36.400 Oh,

01:33:36.800 you guys have,

01:33:37.540 so with y'all show,

01:33:38.580 uh,

01:33:38.820 with impractical jokers,

01:33:39.880 you can't even talk about anything about it.

01:33:41.360 You guys have,

01:33:42.540 um,

01:33:44.140 Joe is not going to be on the show anymore.

01:33:45.880 Yeah.

01:33:46.320 Wow.

01:33:47.060 For now,

01:33:47.540 I guess.

01:33:48.040 Right.

01:33:48.560 Yeah.

01:33:49.440 Um,

01:33:49.960 would,

01:33:50.240 did they ever,

01:33:50.740 did they try and think about bringing somebody else in?

01:33:53.120 Well,

01:33:53.480 they asked us what we wanted to do and we just thought about like a hundred different permutations

01:33:58.320 for it and just landed on the fact that we didn't want to replace him because that person

01:34:02.820 would be already shunned,

01:34:04.880 you know,

01:34:05.040 like he gets hard to replace him.

01:34:06.340 So we just were like,

01:34:07.180 let's just,

01:34:08.280 uh,

01:34:08.420 right now we're bringing in a guest each episode to just help out with the,

01:34:11.400 like the punishment,

01:34:11.980 but it's like people that we know that we're really psyched and interested to get on.

01:34:16.320 Oh,

01:34:16.740 you know?

01:34:17.180 So we've had like Eric Andre,

01:34:19.060 Method Man,

01:34:19.900 uh,

01:34:20.080 Jillian Bell,

01:34:21.240 uh,

01:34:21.540 Rob Riggle,

01:34:22.360 David Cross,

01:34:23.460 like all these like really cool guests,

01:34:25.320 you know?

01:34:25.700 Um,

01:34:26.180 and like we're booking,

01:34:27.020 you know,

01:34:27.440 just,

01:34:27.800 and this,

01:34:28.180 we just,

01:34:28.960 uh,

01:34:29.560 we finished season nine,

01:34:30.620 the last nine episodes that we started before the pandemic.

01:34:32.820 So those start airing in a,

01:34:34.400 in a,

01:34:34.780 I don't know when this comes out,

01:34:35.740 but those start airing June 16th.

01:34:38.220 Okay.

01:34:38.580 And then in two weeks we've been writing season 10 and in two weeks we start filming season 10 and we'll do a,

01:34:44.060 for the first time I,

01:34:44.900 we short in the episodes and we're going to do 18 because I want to kind of have six months on,

01:34:49.180 six months off to do comedy and stuff.

01:34:50.580 So we're doing 18 episodes.

01:34:51.880 We've got 18 guests,

01:34:52.680 but then check this out.

01:34:54.740 Uh,

01:34:55.060 they're just in the,

01:34:56.380 in the,

01:34:56.940 in the punishment.

01:34:57.980 We do a cold open with them and a couple of interstitials.

01:35:00.140 So they're like threaded through the episode.

01:35:01.780 Okay.

01:35:02.060 So they're like anchored as the guests,

01:35:03.380 but in the middle bits when we need four,

01:35:05.520 we made it so that we can bring anybody we want at all.

01:35:08.780 Anyone.

01:35:09.420 So the idea at first was like,

01:35:11.000 Oh,

01:35:11.200 we could bring anyone like from a comedian friend to our family to literally like the,

01:35:16.400 the thing was,

01:35:17.020 we said the halal guy outside our office and we started doing that.

01:35:20.320 Like I brought my barber on,

01:35:21.980 you know,

01:35:22.220 we brought like it just so,

01:35:23.140 cause it's like a,

01:35:23.580 just a mixed bag,

01:35:24.560 you know?

01:35:24.760 Yeah.

01:35:25.240 So yeah.

01:35:25.840 So we did that and it's been fun,

01:35:27.080 you know,

01:35:27.260 it's just a different energy and stuff,

01:35:28.720 you know?

01:35:29.280 Yeah.

01:35:29.940 So it's been good.

01:35:30.600 So we start filming that in a couple of weeks.

01:35:32.240 Wow.

01:35:32.800 Yeah.

01:35:33.140 Is it hard to stay motivated with it?

01:35:35.000 Does things get,

01:35:35.740 keep going that much?

01:35:36.580 Is it hard to like,

01:35:38.160 not that you don't care about it,

01:35:39.420 but is it,

01:35:40.020 what have you learned about that?

01:35:41.340 Has that been interesting?

01:35:43.100 Yeah.

01:35:43.460 I mean,

01:35:43.940 you know,

01:35:44.660 the motivations there,

01:35:45.800 you know,

01:35:46.080 because it's,

01:35:46.820 it's our reputation and the show's been on so long and I,

01:35:50.320 you know,

01:35:50.460 I'm never going to,

01:35:51.000 I'm not going to have half ass it,

01:35:52.220 you know?

01:35:52.400 Yeah.

01:35:53.200 But,

01:35:53.680 um,

01:35:54.400 we said we would do the show until we like stopped having fun,

01:35:56.980 but it's just so much fun.

01:35:58.540 Yeah.

01:35:58.960 And,

01:35:59.200 you know,

01:35:59.320 and,

01:35:59.480 and,

01:35:59.980 you know,

01:36:00.060 our crew is another 40,

01:36:01.660 50 people that you don't see.

01:36:03.220 Well,

01:36:03.300 we put them on a lot now we put our crew on,

01:36:05.040 but like,

01:36:05.860 so it's not just us,

01:36:07.060 us having fun.

01:36:08.040 Like our,

01:36:08.820 our,

01:36:09.100 we've been with these people,

01:36:10.000 some of them for 10 years.

01:36:11.420 So it's like this family,

01:36:12.640 you know,

01:36:12.800 so we still have fun,

01:36:13.800 man.

01:36:13.920 And we,

01:36:14.360 you know,

01:36:14.740 the,

01:36:14.960 the pandemic made us have to rethink how we did everything.

01:36:18.240 So we did a whole season in a pandemic when we couldn't even go up to anybody.

01:36:22.060 So that was fun.

01:36:22.940 Cause we had to,

01:36:23.520 we're always trying to push and change and evolve it and stuff like that.

01:36:26.420 So,

01:36:26.880 you know,

01:36:27.140 so it's,

01:36:27.820 it's always a little different each season.

01:36:29.220 Like we don't just go back and do the same bits we did.

01:36:31.260 Like when people describe the show,

01:36:32.900 they go,

01:36:33.340 these,

01:36:33.920 you know,

01:36:34.180 these friends,

01:36:34.680 they,

01:36:34.840 they put in the earpiece and have to do and say what they're told.

01:36:36.720 And if not,

01:36:37.260 you get punished.

01:36:38.040 That's the most simple way to explain the show.

01:36:39.940 It is.

01:36:40.340 And it is like a third of the show.

01:36:42.360 Yeah.

01:36:42.680 And it was a lot of the show when we first started,

01:36:44.600 but in the first season or two,

01:36:45.600 but really,

01:36:46.580 if you watch the show,

01:36:48.260 that is just one element of it.

01:36:49.640 There's so much,

01:36:50.620 we create so many scenarios and games and situations and like,

01:36:54.060 that aren't even beholden to doing and saying what you told.

01:36:57.160 Right.

01:36:57.360 Right.

01:36:57.480 But it's just like,

01:36:58.320 that's the easiest way to,

01:37:00.040 that's the elevator pitch.

01:37:01.180 Right.

01:37:01.420 Like,

01:37:01.600 so,

01:37:01.880 but yeah,

01:37:02.800 we,

01:37:03.100 so we,

01:37:03.480 we,

01:37:03.880 you know,

01:37:04.400 we have fun,

01:37:05.120 like,

01:37:05.520 like figuring all those things out.

01:37:07.600 Yeah.

01:37:08.060 Yeah.

01:37:08.320 Are you worried about not having Joe on there?

01:37:10.820 You know,

01:37:11.220 I was because he's just one of a kind.

01:37:13.960 He's one of a kind.

01:37:14.940 He's the funniest dude in the world.

01:37:16.320 And,

01:37:16.540 and,

01:37:17.000 and then like,

01:37:17.640 but it's like,

01:37:18.100 you have a recipe that's working and then you,

01:37:20.560 and if you remove a main ingredient,

01:37:21.860 so I,

01:37:22.500 we didn't know what to expect,

01:37:23.360 you know,

01:37:23.760 but you know,

01:37:24.980 because the nature of the show,

01:37:26.300 whereas like we,

01:37:27.680 we,

01:37:27.980 we are out there,

01:37:29.360 like we're,

01:37:29.760 we're always switching who we're doing it with.

01:37:31.620 So nothing felt foreign.

01:37:33.440 Cause I've been out there,

01:37:34.560 just me and him.

01:37:35.420 I've been out there with you,

01:37:36.020 just me.

01:37:36.220 And I've been out there alone,

01:37:37.000 just me.

01:37:37.800 So in that respect,

01:37:39.100 it didn't feel like completely foreign.

01:37:41.220 Um,

01:37:41.900 and then,

01:37:43.080 you know,

01:37:43.480 and then we were so focused on getting the new formula to work and then getting

01:37:47.260 these energy from these people that came on as guests that like,

01:37:50.620 you know,

01:37:50.880 that kind of like filled like a little bit of like what would be,

01:37:54.220 and you know,

01:37:54.800 it took like,

01:37:55.460 it's like when you get on stage,

01:37:56.580 you know,

01:37:56.880 we got there,

01:37:57.600 you know,

01:37:57.980 we started to film and we're like,

01:37:59.120 all right,

01:37:59.280 let's see how this is going to be.

01:38:00.300 Like,

01:38:00.400 I don't know if it's going to be,

01:38:01.220 you know,

01:38:01.960 gloomy.

01:38:02.380 Of course we miss him,

01:38:03.160 you know,

01:38:03.360 but then,

01:38:04.260 you know,

01:38:04.540 you start laughing and you're like, 1.00

01:38:06.320 oh shit, 1.00

01:38:06.720 I'm laughing. 1.00

01:38:07.200 I'm laughing.

01:38:07.620 This is,

01:38:07.840 I had fun today.

01:38:08.820 Right.

01:38:09.080 And then you're like,

01:38:09.480 all right,

01:38:09.880 all right.

01:38:10.160 We're still laughing.

01:38:10.820 We're still having fun.

01:38:11.620 You know,

01:38:12.260 um,

01:38:13.140 that's the barometer.

01:38:14.040 I think,

01:38:14.560 and that's always been the barometer.

01:38:15.760 I think with you guys's group,

01:38:17.080 it seems like,

01:38:18.240 I mean,

01:38:18.620 I remember the first time I ever hung out with you guys was at,

01:38:21.160 in Nashville at like the wild west comedy festivals years ago.

01:38:24.060 Yeah,

01:38:24.180 man.

01:38:24.660 And I couldn't,

01:38:25.420 2014 is when I met you,

01:38:26.740 I think.

01:38:27.100 Yeah.

01:38:27.320 I couldn't believe how much fun it was.

01:38:31.800 At the festival.

01:38:33.120 Yeah.

01:38:33.520 And just being around you guys, 0.91

01:38:34.920 like it was ridiculous. 0.99

01:38:36.880 And then Joe is so crazy. 0.98

01:38:39.380 And then afterwards they're like, 0.92

01:38:40.360 he doesn't even drink.

01:38:41.400 I'm like,

01:38:41.760 what?

01:38:43.160 Yeah.

01:38:43.940 He'll be,

01:38:44.340 I thought he was drinking his own blood.

01:38:46.220 He'll be on a bar with shirt off.

01:38:49.320 He doesn't drink.

01:38:50.360 He doesn't do drugs.

01:38:51.200 He doesn't do anything.

01:38:52.020 It just blew my mind as to how much fun could be had by a group.

01:38:56.660 Um,

01:38:57.480 yeah,

01:38:57.740 I think that's what it's always been for a lot of people.

01:39:00.180 Um,

01:39:00.640 let me text my therapist real quick.

01:39:02.360 Yeah,

01:39:02.640 babe.

01:39:02.820 Then I'm going to be late.

01:39:03.880 And then what time you got to roll out at?

01:39:05.480 Probably I got a 1230,

01:39:07.400 but it's only like 15 away.

01:39:08.780 So maybe like 10,

01:39:09.760 eight minutes.

01:39:10.060 10 minutes.

01:39:10.580 Yeah.

01:39:10.760 Okay,

01:39:11.000 cool.

01:39:11.900 Zoom.

01:39:12.760 Yeah.

01:39:13.160 I got my,

01:39:13.540 it's been helpful to zoom with therapy.

01:39:15.700 Yeah.

01:39:16.340 I used to have to go into the city to do it.

01:39:17.980 You did just do it on zoom.

01:39:19.140 Yeah.

01:39:19.560 Yeah.

01:39:19.700 I think once I got comfortable enough with the therapist,

01:39:21.760 you know,

01:39:22.340 I'm going twice a week right now and going to a lot of meetings.

01:39:25.700 So man,

01:39:26.780 yeah,

01:39:27.120 I'm dude,

01:39:27.660 this is like,

01:39:28.840 even just being able to sit here and laugh with you.

01:39:30.760 It's been like,

01:39:31.280 it's been so hard for over the past few years.

01:39:33.860 I could imagine.

01:39:34.860 I don't know what happened.

01:39:36.100 It just,

01:39:36.540 something happened and it wasn't,

01:39:38.460 you got a good support system around you.

01:39:40.460 Now I,

01:39:41.060 now it's working better.

01:39:42.340 You know,

01:39:42.820 I didn't really,

01:39:43.360 I think I was trying other things than like maybe my recovery program to make me feel better.

01:39:49.000 And it wasn't help.

01:39:49.820 You know,

01:39:50.000 I just wasn't working out.

01:39:52.140 So I'm trying to lean back into that.

01:39:54.120 You look good,

01:39:54.680 bro.

01:39:54.960 Thanks man.

01:39:55.480 You do.

01:39:56.000 I feel pretty healthy.

01:39:56.700 You look good,

01:39:57.160 man.

01:39:57.460 Thank you.

01:39:58.000 I'm in the worst shape of my life,

01:39:59.140 but I appreciate it.

01:39:59.720 Oh yeah.

01:40:00.020 Yeah.

01:40:00.440 Really?

01:40:00.940 Yeah.

01:40:01.220 I got to turn it around now.

01:40:02.440 I got to turn it around.

01:40:03.740 Why?

01:40:04.420 Yeah.

01:40:04.760 I,

01:40:05.000 cause I need to.

01:40:05.760 Okay.

01:40:06.020 It's too much.

01:40:06.840 Really?

01:40:07.120 I feel my,

01:40:07.480 my first special in January too.

01:40:09.180 You are?

01:40:09.660 I want to lose like 50 pounds.

01:40:10.860 Wow.

01:40:11.660 I mean,

01:40:12.300 I haven't started yet,

01:40:13.420 but it's around the corner.

01:40:15.820 But do you feel different being like,

01:40:18.120 why do you want to be like fit or what do you,

01:40:20.140 do you have an idea in your head?

01:40:20.580 I just don't want to feel like I feel now.

01:40:22.480 Oh,

01:40:22.640 you feel bad.

01:40:23.760 Well,

01:40:24.220 no,

01:40:25.020 but like,

01:40:25.520 I don't know.

01:40:26.080 I'm,

01:40:26.380 you know,

01:40:26.580 it's just,

01:40:27.340 it's just like anything.

01:40:28.280 Right.

01:40:28.480 When you're like,

01:40:28.980 I'm,

01:40:29.360 I'm someone who's fluctuated in weight my whole life.

01:40:31.760 Oh.

01:40:32.040 Up and down 50 every few years.

01:40:33.580 I go from like two,

01:40:34.500 two 50 down to two,

01:40:35.340 two 50,

01:40:35.700 two,

01:40:35.880 two 50 for like the last 15 years.

01:40:38.060 That's cool.

01:40:38.460 So it's just like when I know when I hit 250,

01:40:40.100 I got to get back down to two.

01:40:41.140 Oh,

01:40:41.340 okay.

01:40:41.660 You know,

01:40:41.800 and it's a journey there and I stay there for a while and I slowly go back up and back down.

01:40:44.860 It's like one of those carnival games.

01:40:46.280 Kind of everything with you kind of has like a little bit of a game show element.

01:40:50.340 I feel like.

01:40:51.500 Oh,

01:40:51.660 but you look great,

01:40:52.300 dude.

01:40:52.500 And you know,

01:40:53.040 I,

01:40:53.260 I know you probably know this and people say this stuff,

01:40:55.640 but you know,

01:40:56.420 we go back a while,

01:40:57.800 you,

01:40:58.140 you know,

01:40:58.320 you know me and my personal life too.

01:40:59.640 And I'm just like,

01:41:00.140 if you ever like,

01:41:01.200 you call me anytime,

01:41:02.440 man.

01:41:02.740 Yeah.

01:41:02.920 Thanks for anything like that.

01:41:04.400 Anything,

01:41:04.780 just to vent, 0.98

01:41:05.440 to bounce shit off of whatever, 0.96

01:41:07.020 you know, 0.98

01:41:07.440 I know that I'm not like I'm on the East coast,

01:41:09.340 but like,

01:41:09.720 dude,

01:41:09.920 I get,

01:41:10.220 you know,

01:41:10.800 thank you.

01:41:11.260 Yeah.

01:41:12.040 Thanks,

01:41:12.320 man.

01:41:12.980 Yeah.

01:41:13.180 I think sometimes I,

01:41:14.320 I got in this negative place where I felt just like really isolated and I was isolating

01:41:18.940 myself.

01:41:19.320 So it was like,

01:41:20.060 I was creating my own,

01:41:21.320 a lot of my own problems.

01:41:22.320 And you know,

01:41:23.500 I just didn't realize it though.

01:41:25.300 Like,

01:41:25.720 um,

01:41:26.620 but it's all,

01:41:27.200 you know,

01:41:27.500 it's some of that's just life.

01:41:28.720 It's like,

01:41:29.120 you know,

01:41:29.500 my life got super busy,

01:41:30.720 you know,

01:41:31.040 it's like,

01:41:31.260 you don't know what happens when your life gets busy and when things change for you.

01:41:34.460 Like I remember one time we're at some party and you had tried to not have a manager for a while.

01:41:39.180 And you're like,

01:41:39.460 finally,

01:41:39.700 I have to have a man.

01:41:40.580 I have to have help.

01:41:41.700 Yeah.

01:41:42.080 Yeah.

01:41:42.320 You know,

01:41:42.640 we didn't have,

01:41:43.180 we didn't have one for years,

01:41:44.200 a couple of years.

01:41:45.120 I remember.

01:41:45.560 And they're just like,

01:41:46.080 it was a tipping point.

01:41:47.480 And it was like,

01:41:47.880 I get,

01:41:48.160 we were holding out,

01:41:48.840 you know,

01:41:49.020 cause you hear that agents will say,

01:41:50.800 Oh,

01:41:50.880 you don't need to manage a manager.

01:41:51.780 So you don't need an agent or even today people are like, 1.00

01:41:53.860 fuck man. 1.00

01:41:54.320 You know, 1.00

01:41:54.560 why are you giving all that away?

01:41:55.380 A lot of our boys don't have managers.

01:41:57.960 I don't have one now.

01:41:58.780 Yeah.

01:41:59.100 But,

01:41:59.400 and I,

01:41:59.800 but I remember just you saying that,

01:42:01.480 Oh,

01:42:01.600 we have to get,

01:42:02.300 I got to a point.

01:42:03.260 You were like,

01:42:03.540 I got to a point where I needed to get some help.

01:42:05.340 Yeah.

01:42:05.540 Yeah.

01:42:06.200 Yeah.

01:42:06.480 I think like,

01:42:07.140 you know,

01:42:07.320 with the TV and stuff,

01:42:08.580 you kind of need someone to fight those battles,

01:42:10.400 navigate that for you.

01:42:11.380 Yeah.

01:42:11.640 If it was just like,

01:42:12.580 just solely just doing standup,

01:42:14.720 the way to everyone's DIY these days and building their own audiences and stuff.

01:42:18.300 I think now like it's shifting what you would need,

01:42:20.840 but I'm with my team for so long now.

01:42:22.980 They're like family,

01:42:23.740 you know?

01:42:24.000 So yeah.

01:42:24.740 Yeah.

01:42:25.140 Yeah.

01:42:25.640 Oh yeah.

01:42:25.960 If you have television and stuff involved,

01:42:27.220 I do think it gets different.

01:42:28.320 Yeah.

01:42:28.520 We had a couple of questions that came in.

01:42:30.180 I wanted to get to one or two of them real quick from some listeners,

01:42:33.340 man.

01:42:35.440 I love the podcast so much.

01:42:37.000 What's up,

01:42:37.400 Sal?

01:42:37.640 I love Impractical Jokers.

01:42:38.760 My name is Ezra,

01:42:39.760 E-Z-R-A. 1.00

01:42:40.960 And basically I'm just asking you,

01:42:42.780 Sal,

01:42:43.360 have you ever got swung on in Impractical Jokers?

01:42:46.960 Sure.

01:42:47.340 People ask that a lot,

01:42:48.220 huh?

01:42:48.740 Yeah.

01:42:50.000 Yeah,

01:42:50.380 I almost did.

01:42:51.260 Look,

01:42:51.620 after 10 years,

01:42:52.340 not a lot.

01:42:53.200 Cause we're not really trying to,

01:42:54.340 we're not really trying to piss people off.

01:42:57.340 We're more just trying to like,

01:42:58.960 bemused,

01:43:00.400 bewildered,

01:43:00.980 confused,

01:43:01.560 like whatever.

01:43:02.520 Just,

01:43:02.780 you know,

01:43:03.020 it's more like that.

01:43:03.840 It's more on us,

01:43:04.660 but every once in a while,

01:43:05.480 you're going to come across a person that already is like that in their

01:43:08.540 normal life.

01:43:09.200 And it's just looking for something.

01:43:10.420 Yeah.

01:43:10.800 So we've all,

01:43:11.540 all of us have been a couple of times each in situations where one time I

01:43:14.780 was at the car show at the Jacob Javits center and I was working for

01:43:17.580 Fiat.

01:43:18.500 That was what I was doing.

01:43:19.620 And they kept,

01:43:20.920 this guy and his girl walked up and they kept saying like,

01:43:22.940 just shadow the girl. 1.00

01:43:23.820 Like if she turns,

01:43:25.020 like,

01:43:25.240 don't ever like stay behind her.

01:43:26.900 So she pivoted.

01:43:28.020 And I went behind her.

01:43:29.200 It was like the first second I did it.

01:43:30.960 And he literally pushed her out of the way,

01:43:32.760 grabbed me and put his fist back.

01:43:33.920 He's like,

01:43:34.100 what are you doing?

01:43:34.780 What are you doing right now?

01:43:36.060 And her boyfriend?

01:43:37.020 Yeah.

01:43:37.480 He's a big dude. 0.98

01:43:38.200 He looked like he did like UFC and shit. 0.98

01:43:40.020 He like, 0.99

01:43:40.580 he was ripped.

01:43:41.140 But he went from zero to,

01:43:42.940 he literally pushed her out of the way,

01:43:44.720 put his fist up in,

01:43:46.400 in,

01:43:46.680 in a half a second.

01:43:47.580 All I did.

01:43:48.140 And he's like,

01:43:49.200 go ahead,

01:43:49.520 go ahead.

01:43:49.700 He goes,

01:43:49.900 what are you doing?

01:43:50.400 What are you doing?

01:43:50.860 And I was in like a suit jacket and tie.

01:43:52.740 I was like showing the Fiat.

01:43:54.400 Yeah.

01:43:54.960 And I looked at him and he,

01:43:57.120 he literally,

01:43:57.900 you know,

01:43:58.140 you know,

01:43:58.460 you know,

01:43:58.920 there's a difference between like,

01:43:59.920 go ahead,

01:44:00.200 bro.

01:44:00.440 He was like,

01:44:01.100 you saw like the,

01:44:02.320 like he was like that.

01:44:03.600 And I just,

01:44:04.280 I didn't want to like antagonize it anymore.

01:44:06.700 You know,

01:44:06.900 I defused.

01:44:07.540 Oh yeah.

01:44:08.320 So I just looked at him and he goes,

01:44:09.440 what are you doing?

01:44:10.020 What are you doing?

01:44:10.580 And I go,

01:44:11.100 I'm just trying to get you guys into a Fiat,

01:44:13.300 you know?

01:44:14.680 And I just stayed the course.

01:44:16.160 And he's like,

01:44:16.440 yeah,

01:44:16.600 all right,

01:44:16.840 what are you doing?

01:44:17.360 Don't, 1.00

01:44:17.580 don't fuck with me. 1.00

01:44:18.320 He's like, 1.00

01:44:18.540 don't.

01:44:19.040 He goes,

01:44:19.300 go ahead.

01:44:24.720 Just soft like that,

01:44:25.860 you know?

01:44:26.600 And then like,

01:44:27.080 they,

01:44:27.240 they took him away and then they,

01:44:28.500 you know,

01:44:28.720 and then they,

01:44:29.200 he didn't want to hear nothing.

01:44:30.280 But Murray got slapped in the face hard with a guy's cell phone.

01:44:34.460 Like he went like that,

01:44:35.280 like popped him in the face. 0.98

01:44:37.360 But this guy was crazy though. 0.98

01:44:39.520 This guy,

01:44:39.980 we were filming at like a odd lot,

01:44:41.520 like an odd job store.

01:44:42.840 Like,

01:44:43.000 you know what that is?

01:44:43.560 Oh yeah.

01:44:43.840 They got different stuff in there.

01:44:45.140 Like,

01:44:45.320 yeah,

01:44:45.500 yeah,

01:44:45.720 yeah.

01:44:46.120 It'll like have like half of an autumn and you're like,

01:44:48.280 yeah.

01:44:49.800 Yeah.

01:44:50.120 Like, 0.99

01:44:50.420 and truly I'm like cereal and like all that shit. 0.99

01:44:52.520 Right. 1.00

01:44:52.680 Oh yeah.

01:44:52.940 They got like rescue milk.

01:44:54.220 Yes.

01:44:55.740 So this guy is,

01:44:57.580 is on his phone and he's a big dude,

01:45:00.820 man.

01:45:01.020 He was like six,

01:45:01.780 five huge dude.

01:45:03.500 And Murray is the guys talking and they have bins.

01:45:08.440 And I guess the guy's standing there and the bin in front of Murray has bras. 1.00

01:45:11.560 And like this bin might have had a notepad,

01:45:13.500 you know,

01:45:13.700 but so Murray,

01:45:14.580 I like,

01:45:15.020 as he's on the phone,

01:45:15.840 I would like,

01:45:16.280 Murray takes out the bra and he like,

01:45:17.820 he's like,

01:45:18.360 he puts it up against the guy to like,

01:45:19.820 just see.

01:45:20.240 And he's like,

01:45:20.620 I give my wife size. 1.00

01:45:21.780 And then he puts up the guy and the guy just whipped him out.

01:45:24.100 And he goes,

01:45:24.740 he was, 0.99

01:45:25.020 what are you fucking doing? 0.99

01:45:25.780 And then the guy, 1.00

01:45:26.560 I guess was having a bad day.

01:45:27.980 And he just looked at Murray and started to go at him.

01:45:30.640 And then Murray ran and he started chasing Murray,

01:45:32.920 charging at him,

01:45:34.140 screaming,

01:45:35.180 charging at him and swinging at him.

01:45:37.240 And Murray's running around the aisles.

01:45:38.480 And the guys chased him full public.

01:45:40.500 The restaurant's open.

01:45:41.980 The store is open.

01:45:43.020 And then he swung at him and he,

01:45:44.880 he clipped him right here.

01:45:46.660 Right.

01:45:47.000 And then everyone was like,

01:45:47.760 all right.

01:45:48.320 And then they asked him to leave.

01:45:49.500 And the guy went out and he goes,

01:45:50.620 I'm going to,

01:45:51.080 he goes,

01:45:51.420 I'm going to come back here.

01:45:52.500 He goes,

01:45:52.880 I'm leaving.

01:45:53.260 I'm going to come back here. 1.00

01:45:54.080 I'm going to fucking kill everybody. 0.99

01:45:56.560 We had to shut it down immediately because we didn't know if that was a true threat. 1.00

01:45:59.720 Yeah.

01:46:00.040 He was screaming.

01:46:01.060 I'm going to come back here. 1.00

01:46:01.700 I'm going to kill you guys. 1.00

01:46:02.440 I'm coming back. 1.00

01:46:03.260 And we're like,

01:46:03.780 all right,

01:46:03.980 let's just,

01:46:04.660 let's just cut this out right now.

01:46:06.740 For the bras. 0.75

01:46:07.800 Huh?

01:46:07.960 Yeah.

01:46:08.400 But,

01:46:08.640 but,

01:46:08.820 but,

01:46:09.440 but that's really uncommon.

01:46:11.200 Oh yeah.

01:46:12.060 That dude,

01:46:12.460 I used to hide.

01:46:13.520 This is like,

01:46:14.720 it's not like your game show,

01:46:15.620 but it's like, 1.00

01:46:15.960 I remember hiding at my buddy's house in his hamper and smelling his fucking mom's bra. 0.99

01:46:22.040 When I was a kid, 1.00

01:46:23.400 man. 0.99

01:46:24.300 Oh shit. 1.00

01:46:25.600 Yeah. 1.00

01:46:25.960 What are you going to do kids?

01:46:28.040 What did it smell like?

01:46:29.460 Oh, 1.00

01:46:29.880 it smelled like fucking. 1.00

01:46:31.220 Did it smell like, 1.00

01:46:32.100 like perfume or did it smell like hamper?

01:46:33.940 It smelled like perfume.

01:46:34.800 I think it just smelled like a home kind of,

01:46:36.740 you know?

01:46:36.880 Yeah.

01:46:37.160 It was like,

01:46:37.940 you know,

01:46:38.420 looking for,

01:46:38.880 I wasn't really looking exactly.

01:46:40.000 He didn't know you did that.

01:46:41.180 No,

01:46:41.600 he still doesn't know.

01:46:42.740 Yeah.

01:46:43.040 And I wouldn't know if he were on his death bed or something like that,

01:46:45.360 I would tell him.

01:46:46.640 Or if his mom were dying.

01:46:47.040 He might be if he knows you.

01:46:48.380 Yeah. 0.98

01:46:51.440 That's fucking hilarious. 0.98

01:46:53.100 Well, 0.99

01:46:53.220 let's got one more question.

01:46:54.240 Maybe that came through,

01:46:55.040 man.

01:46:55.220 I got to go to therapy,

01:46:56.180 dude. 1.00

01:46:56.460 Damn. 1.00

01:46:57.260 Morning, 0.99

01:46:57.660 Sal.

01:46:58.200 Oh,

01:46:58.400 good afternoon.

01:46:58.980 Good afternoon,

01:47:00.400 Sal.

01:47:02.160 Today's I've got a question and it's what's the poorest thing you've done.

01:47:07.160 For example,

01:47:08.020 mine was,

01:47:09.440 I used to wash my car at the petrol station with the little windscreen wiper.

01:47:15.000 Get around the whole car in the grease.

01:47:17.380 That's a pretty good idea.

01:47:18.320 Car wash.

01:47:19.720 So yeah,

01:47:20.220 what's the poorest thing you've ever done?

01:47:22.080 Hey,

01:47:22.420 babe, 0.51

01:47:23.160 I've done a lot of poor things.

01:47:24.980 Yeah.

01:47:25.520 I didn't come from any money.

01:47:28.240 Yeah.

01:47:28.720 But growing up,

01:47:29.480 I got to think about it.

01:47:30.400 Like I,

01:47:30.740 I mean,

01:47:31.080 I did poor stuff.

01:47:32.100 One thing I did,

01:47:32.880 I don't know if it's the poorest thing I've done,

01:47:34.200 but one thing when I was older and I started working at a college,

01:47:37.320 I was working at Prudential Securities and they had a cafeteria.

01:47:42.580 And what I would do is,

01:47:43.440 and I,

01:47:43.700 someone told me this and I did it,

01:47:44.900 but I would,

01:47:45.360 I used to do it all the time,

01:47:46.460 but I was sweating every time I did it.

01:47:48.940 What I would do is I would go get a large Dixie cup and cap for a fountain

01:47:53.240 soda.

01:47:53.700 Okay.

01:47:54.000 But then I would go to the chicken tender station and I would stuff the Dixie 0.98

01:47:59.360 cup with like six, 0.65

01:48:00.600 seven chicken tenders,

01:48:01.460 put it on,

01:48:02.160 put the straw and go and pay like a dollar 19 for the cup instead of $7 for

01:48:06.320 the tenders.

01:48:07.160 Yeah.

01:48:07.600 That was like when I was like a nine to five,

01:48:10.360 like I was like,

01:48:11.360 I had a desk and everything.

01:48:13.140 Yeah.

01:48:13.500 And I would go and steal those chicken fingers at like every other day,

01:48:16.800 man.

01:48:17.060 And I was always,

01:48:17.980 when I got on the line to pay,

01:48:19.100 like I was always so nervous that they were going to like,

01:48:21.640 cause it,

01:48:21.940 cause it really is.

01:48:22.660 That's really a,

01:48:23.300 really a bad look.

01:48:24.640 Yeah.

01:48:24.960 If you get caught with that,

01:48:25.980 you know what I mean?

01:48:26.380 Yeah.

01:48:26.740 With a cup of chicken tender.

01:48:28.000 You're like,

01:48:28.260 I thought it was chicken soda.

01:48:31.040 But it was like,

01:48:32.480 you know,

01:48:32.760 I'm trying to save money,

01:48:33.780 man.

01:48:34.080 Yeah.

01:48:34.580 That's a good one.

01:48:35.220 I was making no money,

01:48:36.240 you know,

01:48:36.500 like my salary at high school at a college was 28,000 a year.

01:48:40.000 Wow.

01:48:40.700 Yeah.

01:48:41.140 Yeah.

01:48:41.400 You're cutting corners.

01:48:42.320 Then man,

01:48:42.900 I remember one time we had a rental car and we got an accident.

01:48:48.360 It got a dent in it.

01:48:49.320 Right.

01:48:49.840 And we tried to get,

01:48:51.680 uh,

01:48:52.320 we got like some,

01:48:53.460 we,

01:48:54.000 uh,

01:48:54.500 caught some bird,

01:48:55.320 right. 0.98

01:48:55.600 Pigeons and got him a shit over the dent, 0.98

01:48:58.300 like over the dent. 0.98

01:49:00.400 So that it would,

01:49:01.220 uh,

01:49:01.640 hide the thing. 0.77

01:49:03.460 Yeah.

01:49:04.180 In Florida. 1.00

01:49:05.600 Damn. 1.00

01:49:06.020 I guess they shit enough that like it's, 1.00

01:49:07.800 it might happen. 1.00

01:49:08.460 Oh,

01:49:08.580 you could make it look for sure.

01:49:10.060 I mean, 0.98

01:49:10.340 we shit up half the whole, 0.98

01:49:11.580 like, 0.99

01:49:11.780 you know,

01:49:12.100 one quarter.

01:49:12.700 By what?

01:49:13.020 You just held a pigeon.

01:49:14.200 Yeah.

01:49:14.500 Oh,

01:49:14.700 I can't hold foul.

01:49:15.880 Really?

01:49:16.320 No.

01:49:16.820 Oh,

01:49:17.040 wow.

01:49:17.160 They tried to make me,

01:49:18.120 uh, 1.00

01:49:18.840 commandeer a chicken on the show and it was shit. 1.00

01:49:21.300 Never. 0.99

01:49:21.520 But that,

01:49:21.860 that's,

01:49:22.220 they're too wiry.

01:49:23.040 They're too,

01:49:23.800 they're too,

01:49:24.380 like,

01:49:24.720 I don't know,

01:49:25.620 birds,

01:49:26.220 you know,

01:49:26.520 I don't mind them in the air,

01:49:27.660 but I don't like handling them.

01:49:29.420 Ooh.

01:49:29.640 They put a hawk on my wrist once. 0.98

01:49:31.160 I shit myself. 0.99

01:49:32.080 You couldn't handle it, 1.00

01:49:32.740 huh?

01:49:32.780 Nah,

01:49:33.260 no.

01:49:34.180 Joe used to have a parrot that would attack me.

01:49:36.120 Of course he did.

01:49:36.920 Yeah.

01:49:37.320 Wonder what that's about.

01:49:38.980 The parrot?

01:49:39.700 Just the whole thing that you can't,

01:49:41.100 you don't like that foul on you.

01:49:42.460 Well,

01:49:42.720 no,

01:49:43.000 the hawk was, 1.00

01:49:44.080 the hawk is scary as shit. 0.99

01:49:45.460 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:45.960 But,

01:49:46.500 uh,

01:49:46.920 I don't know,

01:49:47.360 just a while.

01:49:48.060 I mean,

01:49:48.480 maybe you can get something you can get used to,

01:49:50.380 but I,

01:49:51.060 that was the first time I was ever handling a chicken.

01:49:53.500 Oh yeah.

01:49:54.060 You know,

01:49:54.320 and you just,

01:49:54.820 you don't know,

01:49:55.380 like,

01:49:55.720 you know,

01:49:55.980 like.

01:49:56.540 Yeah.

01:49:56.900 Well,

01:49:57.020 chickens are very volatile.

01:49:58.180 Yeah.

01:49:58.580 You know,

01:49:58.900 I think it's,

01:50:00.020 um,

01:50:00.820 they deserve to be an entree.

01:50:02.380 That's what I think.

01:50:03.100 Really?

01:50:03.600 I think when I see some of the meats on entree list,

01:50:05.780 and I was like,

01:50:06.260 ah, 1.00

01:50:06.460 this motherfucker don't deserve to make it up here in the top five. 1.00

01:50:08.680 We know why he got here. 1.00

01:50:09.900 Yeah.

01:50:10.100 But chicken,

01:50:10.800 if chicken's in there,

01:50:11.600 I'm like, 1.00

01:50:11.920 these bitches deserve it. 1.00

01:50:12.940 Cause they're, 1.00

01:50:13.440 they're pretty gangster,

01:50:14.560 man.

01:50:14.800 Yeah.

01:50:15.560 Um,

01:50:16.080 we had a turkey farmer on in the turkey.

01:50:17.560 Yeah.

01:50:17.700 They'll, 0.56

01:50:17.960 once one of them dies, 0.99

01:50:19.160 they'll fricking, 0.98

01:50:19.680 you know,

01:50:20.080 they'll go at that one.

01:50:21.100 It's very,

01:50:21.680 um,

01:50:22.700 you know,

01:50:23.380 it's a very,

01:50:24.260 uh,

01:50:25.120 like,

01:50:26.240 I don't know what that movie is called.

01:50:28.320 Um,

01:50:29.060 gangs in New York,

01:50:30.080 you know,

01:50:31.240 they get very,

01:50:32.200 uh,

01:50:32.800 territorial.

01:50:33.480 Yeah. 0.98

01:50:33.960 They'll fucking second year out. 0.99

01:50:35.840 It's year out. 0.99

01:50:36.440 Wow.

01:50:36.880 You know,

01:50:37.440 they don't play.

01:50:38.060 Okay.

01:50:39.280 Well,

01:50:39.620 dude,

01:50:39.740 we didn't even get to talk really about the cruise that I came on with.

01:50:41.720 You'll have to talk about it next time.

01:50:42.760 Anytime,

01:50:43.260 dude.

01:50:43.520 I'd love to.

01:50:44.100 This was so much fun,

01:50:44.980 dude.

01:50:45.200 Thank you so much.

01:50:46.080 I don't think I've ever done this with you.

01:50:47.580 I don't think so.

01:50:48.880 Yeah.

01:50:49.240 Right on.

01:50:49.800 I'm glad you,

01:50:50.320 dude.

01:50:50.520 Thank you so much for coming.

01:50:51.380 Come on.

01:50:51.740 Come on.

01:50:52.120 If you're ever in New York,

01:50:52.960 come on.

01:50:53.300 I got,

01:50:53.980 I do a podcast called Hey Babe.

01:50:55.460 Oh yeah.

01:50:55.800 I know you do.

01:50:56.160 With Stefano.

01:50:56.520 Yeah.

01:50:56.860 And,

01:50:57.140 uh,

01:50:57.380 one called Taste Buds with Joe DeRosa.

01:50:59.180 If you know Joe.

01:51:00.360 Oh yeah.

01:51:00.740 I know Joe too.

01:51:01.640 We do a podcast called Taste Buds.

01:51:03.020 We got the two,

01:51:04.100 uh,

01:51:04.340 come on either of anytime.

01:51:05.500 Taste Buds,

01:51:05.860 we're just arguing over foods.

01:51:07.080 Really?

01:51:07.540 It's fun.

01:51:08.520 It's just like,

01:51:09.500 we just literally get into real big arguments.

01:51:11.880 Oh wow.

01:51:12.300 Over just like food.

01:51:13.240 And then me and Chris is just,

01:51:14.220 you know, 0.93

01:51:14.360 just bullshitting and stuff. 0.90

01:51:15.500 Yeah.

01:51:15.820 Yeah,

01:51:16.020 man.

01:51:16.260 I love him.

01:51:17.380 Anytime.

01:51:17.880 We'd love to have you on.

01:51:18.560 Dude.

01:51:18.800 Yeah.

01:51:18.980 Especially now that I'm starting to feel a bit better.

01:51:20.400 I think it'd be easier for me to go do them.

01:51:22.220 You know,

01:51:22.680 it's been hard for me to go be a guest just because also you,

01:51:25.220 when you got your own podcast,

01:51:26.260 it's hard.

01:51:26.860 Oh hell yeah.

01:51:27.340 Yeah.

01:51:27.540 But especially New York was kind of closed.

01:51:29.080 So I got to get up there and see you guys.

01:51:31.100 Yeah.

01:51:31.400 I never do this when I'm out here.

01:51:32.680 There's this whole trip.

01:51:33.940 Uh,

01:51:34.260 cause I came,

01:51:34.840 I'm touring.

01:51:35.440 So I came through on tour and,

01:51:37.200 uh,

01:51:37.740 I was like,

01:51:38.240 I'm going to do all my friends pot,

01:51:39.860 you know,

01:51:40.020 just do everybody's podcast,

01:51:41.120 which I never get to do it.

01:51:42.020 So it was,

01:51:42.300 it's been a fun week,

01:51:43.040 man.

01:51:43.320 That's cool,

01:51:43.780 man.

01:51:43.960 Yeah.

01:51:44.280 Well,

01:51:44.620 thanks for making us one of them,

01:51:45.700 man.

01:51:45.800 I appreciate it.

01:51:46.420 Yeah,

01:51:46.600 of course.

01:51:47.080 Of course.

01:51:47.680 Uh,

01:51:47.880 and the new season,

01:51:48.540 when does it come up?

01:51:49.460 June 16th.

01:51:50.460 It starts on Thursday nights and,

01:51:52.640 uh,

01:51:53.140 I'm touring.

01:51:53.700 I have like 20,

01:51:54.560 30 cities up right now and I'm adding all the time on my website.

01:51:57.820 Savile canto comedy.com.

01:51:59.420 Vegas is one that I just announced that I'm excited about to get going.

01:52:02.980 But yeah,

01:52:03.620 there's tons of cities up there,

01:52:04.820 man.

01:52:05.400 We're doing Phoenix and Boulder and Vancouver,

01:52:08.400 Seattle,

01:52:08.760 Portland,

01:52:10.000 Evansville,

01:52:10.680 Louisville,

01:52:11.600 um,

01:52:12.480 everywhere.

01:52:12.960 Nashville,

01:52:13.420 you guys just came through Nashville.

01:52:14.180 Rochester,

01:52:14.420 Syracuse,

01:52:15.460 just did Nashville,

01:52:17.020 uh,

01:52:17.600 Minneapolis,

01:52:18.460 Milwaukee.

01:52:18.900 I mean,

01:52:19.040 I'm going to say it's loaded up.

01:52:20.140 I've been loading up.

01:52:21.220 Cool.

01:52:21.660 You guys can check it out and go check out Sal in person,

01:52:24.060 man.

01:52:24.440 Um,

01:52:25.200 any way you get Sal Volcano is a great way to get him.

01:52:27.740 And,

01:52:28.140 uh,

01:52:28.540 and I'm grateful to have spent time with you,

01:52:30.280 man.

01:52:30.380 Thanks so much,

01:52:31.080 dude.

01:52:31.220 Yeah.

01:52:31.380 Love you,

01:52:31.720 buddy.

01:52:31.940 Yeah.

01:52:34.140 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling

01:52:38.380 like these leaves.

01:52:39.840 I must be cornerstone.

01:52:45.060 Oh,

01:52:45.840 but when I reach that ground,

01:52:47.760 I'll share this peace of mind.

01:52:49.900 I found I can feel it in my bones,

01:52:53.940 but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself

01:53:05.180 shine on my eyes.

01:53:06.640 Shine that light on me.

01:53:12.240 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

01:53:17.640 Shine on me.

01:53:20.880 And I will find a song.

01:53:25.120 I will sing it just for you.

01:53:32.840 And now I've been moving way too fast on a runaway train with a heavy load of my

01:53:39.220 past.

01:53:40.940 And these wheels that I've been riding on,

01:53:46.900 they're worn so thin that they're damn near gone.

01:53:49.400 I guess now they just weren't built in.

01:53:52.900 Ladies and gentlemen,

01:53:54.460 I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club,

01:53:57.040 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

01:54:00.720 standup stories,

01:54:01.740 and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:54:04.440 The answer may shock you.

01:54:06.200 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:54:08.320 Sometimes I won't.

01:54:09.100 And as always,

01:54:10.800 I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:54:12.860 You have three new voice messages.

01:54:15.900 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:54:18.780 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long,

01:54:21.440 longer than anybody else.

01:54:23.060 So great.

01:54:24.440 Hi,

01:54:25.080 sweetheart.

01:54:26.120 Here's a deal. 1.00

01:54:27.440 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:54:31.360 Jermaine. 0.99

01:54:32.640 Hi,

01:54:33.500 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:54:36.260 Sorry, sir,

01:54:36.920 but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:54:38.120 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.

01:54:43.260 Anyway,

01:54:43.860 first rule of Kite Club is,

01:54:45.640 tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:54:47.420 Second rule of Kite Club is,

01:54:49.400 tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:54:51.640 Third rule,

01:54:52.580 like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts,

01:54:55.260 or watch us on YouTube,

01:54:56.780 yeah?

01:54:57.420 And yes,

01:54:57.980 don't worry,

01:54:58.720 my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

01:55:00.500 Thank you.

01:55:03.800 All right.

01:55:05.900 Well,

01:55:07.720 you

01:55:08.820 go go go go go go go.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 30, 2022

E395 Sal Vulcano

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