This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E400 Riff Raff

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00:00:30.140 Keeping in touch is important.

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00:01:24.820 Baby, get that hitter. 1.00

00:01:26.840 Today's guest is an endangered species of a man.

00:01:34.080 You know, he's really, he's something you don't see much.

00:01:37.400 He's hard to catch.

00:01:38.560 Many shadows.

00:01:41.460 He's a real disco ball of a human.

00:01:43.700 He's a Cadbury egg in a world of jelly beans.

00:01:47.140 He's the most requested guest that we've had, and I'm grateful that he's back.

00:01:55.180 Catching up with him here at the Hollywood Casino in Florida, it's Dale D'Antoni, Jody

00:02:01.660 Highroller, Mr. Riff Raff.

00:02:04.060 For me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind

00:02:09.820 Shine that light on me

00:02:13.780 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:02:19.460 Shine on me

00:02:24.460 And I will find a song I'll be singing just for me

00:02:32.100 And now I've been moving way too

00:02:38.900 The beginning is hard, huh?

00:02:40.160 Yeah.

00:02:40.880 It's always tough.

00:02:43.260 It's like being at a rope swing.

00:02:44.940 You've got to wait for somebody to kind of try it first, you know?

00:02:48.020 Mm-hmm.

00:02:48.840 Especially when it's silence out there and everybody's watching.

00:02:52.060 Yeah.

00:02:53.020 When everybody's watching, now you're thinking from the outside point of view.

00:02:57.080 Yeah.

00:02:57.860 And you're looking at yourself, and you're thinking too much.

00:03:01.240 And sometimes, you know, study long, study wrong.

00:03:07.220 Oh, really?

00:03:08.100 Yeah.

00:03:08.440 Study long, study wrong.

00:03:09.960 Sometimes overthink it.

00:03:11.220 Oh, man.

00:03:11.840 Well, yeah.

00:03:12.640 And I've been doing some wrong.

00:03:14.320 I've done some wrong there.

00:03:15.820 Yeah.

00:03:16.640 Sometimes, because the first time, if I'm hearing a song of mine or something,

00:03:21.380 and, like, I sometimes don't even listen to the beats.

00:03:25.000 I don't, like, if I hear a snippet or something, I'm like, oh, I like that.

00:03:27.880 Then I'm going to go, I'm going to hit pause and just leave it.

00:03:30.420 Because I don't want to hear it too many times because I'm going to forget the energy that I had.

00:03:34.480 You know what I mean?

00:03:34.960 So you keep listening to it.

00:03:36.860 Oh, I see what you're saying.

00:03:37.020 So it's like, hold on.

00:03:37.720 Let me just get that.

00:03:38.340 Because once it becomes work, you lose interest.

00:03:42.740 Yeah.

00:03:43.280 Wow.

00:03:45.020 Why is that, I wonder?

00:03:46.380 You know why?

00:03:49.160 I guess a lot.

00:03:50.640 A lot's riding on something.

00:03:52.580 But if a lot ain't riding on it, you know what I mean?

00:03:54.420 I guess if it's like you're trying to time a jump or something and there's trains passing by.

00:04:00.820 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:04:01.360 And you're trying to time it right where it's like, okay, you need to study for that because you fuck up. 0.99

00:04:07.880 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:08.380 You might not make it.

00:04:09.600 But I think if it's like a tire swing, it depends how much you like your ankles.

00:04:17.440 Yeah.

00:04:18.280 Your ankles, you know.

00:04:19.660 It could be dangerous out there.

00:04:22.140 I'll tell you this, baby.

00:04:23.320 You're back, man.

00:04:24.500 I'm back.

00:04:25.240 It's been a while.

00:04:26.500 It's been three years. 0.99

00:04:28.080 Damn. 0.99

00:04:28.520 Since I brought you mangoes. 1.00

00:04:30.640 Big mangoes.

00:04:31.380 Oh, they were good too.

00:04:32.580 Good mangoes.

00:04:33.560 Yeah, they felt good, man.

00:04:35.520 You know, Anna Nicole Smith died here.

00:04:37.560 In this hotel?

00:04:38.720 Yeah.

00:04:40.320 From what?

00:04:42.500 They said drugs.

00:04:44.800 I thought it was from being thick.

00:04:46.780 Okay.

00:04:48.380 Maybe she mixed too many. 0.95

00:04:50.440 It's always somebody mixes a upper with a downer.

00:04:54.840 Yeah.

00:04:55.340 Or a downer with alcohol.

00:05:00.020 Then they fall asleep.

00:05:01.100 Don't wake up.

00:05:01.600 Or somebody put something else in the upper.

00:05:08.440 Yeah.

00:05:08.920 Made them go down.

00:05:10.100 Mm.

00:05:11.020 That's just got to be a dark surprise.

00:05:13.200 Yeah, I don't like that kind of stuff, man.

00:05:14.560 A lot of stuff out there now, they got, I mean, everything has something in it.

00:05:17.800 You can't get that real clean drugs like you used to.

00:05:22.500 I mean, I can't use, I don't use them anymore because that's one of the reasons.

00:05:25.580 Yeah.

00:05:25.820 They quit making good stuff.

00:05:27.260 Yeah, they put fentanyl on everything.

00:05:28.740 I mean, you don't know what's in it just because white powder might be sheet rock.

00:05:32.340 Yeah.

00:05:32.700 And fentanyl, people, like, people don't have any.

00:05:36.960 Oh, yeah.

00:05:37.600 Like, it used to be, I mean, the way I see it, in the 80s when it was cocaine blowing up from.

00:05:44.380 Blowing in.

00:05:45.080 I mean, a strong wind would just dust your stepmother over. 1.00

00:05:48.920 That shit was good. 1.00

00:05:49.960 From Columbia or wherever. 1.00

00:05:52.440 And it was good.

00:05:55.580 And now there's, and you would have repeat customers because it's the cream of the crop.

00:06:01.620 Yeah, but all the, when somebody say cocaine, then it's, all there was was cocaine.

00:06:07.780 There was no fake of that because this is what it is.

00:06:11.580 Yeah.

00:06:12.420 You know, so then as time passes and everybody gets spread out, the population growing,

00:06:17.600 then you have people selling a fake version of it because they're just in and out of town.

00:06:21.860 They're just trying to make their little money.

00:06:22.720 Passing bottle.

00:06:22.840 And they don't care if they kill somebody or not because it doesn't.

00:06:25.660 They don't know anybody there.

00:06:26.660 They don't care.

00:06:28.920 They don't have to take pride in their work.

00:06:30.460 Right.

00:06:31.320 That's a shame, man.

00:06:32.300 I remember people used to take pride in the work, I feel like, no matter what it was.

00:06:37.600 Yeah, man.

00:06:38.180 I don't know what killed Anna Nicole.

00:06:39.660 I think, yeah, drugs and I don't know.

00:06:46.700 You believe in ghosts?

00:06:47.860 Yeah, definitely. 1.00

00:06:48.660 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:06:49.340 But it makes me sad to think that ghosts would still be on earth because if you are here 0.99

00:06:55.120 and you don't go on to somewhere better and you're trapped here, how long?

00:06:58.800 And if other ghosts are there and you hear about people being like ghosts in a house

00:07:05.040 or a haunted house, and if they're trapped in that house.

00:07:07.080 Loud ghosts.

00:07:08.620 Yeah.

00:07:08.900 Are they by the, are they, is it only bad spirits?

00:07:12.180 And then if there's good ones, are they, is there something in the middle or are you trapped

00:07:17.240 here and it's bad and you're just like trapped here?

00:07:19.880 And then it makes you think, it makes me think this, then if ghosts are trapped here and that's

00:07:24.940 a punishment, obviously because you don't go somewhere good, then what, then what are

00:07:28.420 we here?

00:07:29.600 If it's bad for them after, what is that for us?

00:07:32.960 What does that mean?

00:07:33.980 Yeah.

00:07:34.380 Maybe we're ghosts.

00:07:35.500 Maybe we're like ghosts that people could see real well, like ghosts with blood in them

00:07:42.200 or something, you know what I'm saying?

00:07:44.660 Like, cause yeah, if you go, I guess if you, if you die, right.

00:07:52.520 And you suddenly, you think, cause you probably are at that point, if you read, prepared to

00:07:56.940 die, you know, then you're like, all right, you got your fingers crossed, you know, that's

00:08:03.860 that Rochambeau with the Lord.

00:08:05.400 You about to see what the deal is. 1.00

00:08:07.600 And then you just suddenly just a damn ghost. 0.99

00:08:09.860 Now you're invisible, but still hanging around in the same neighborhood. 0.99

00:08:15.040 You gotta, I guess, how, at that point, then what do you do?

00:08:18.680 That's where it gets scary because if then, cause if there's ghosts and then it's like,

00:08:22.640 like I was saying, like, how long are you there by yourself?

00:08:25.640 And if, can you see other ghosts?

00:08:28.200 Other ghosts.

00:08:28.920 They got it.

00:08:29.300 You have to be able to see other ghosts.

00:08:30.740 I can't imagine you just sitting around as being a ghost and you can't even.

00:08:36.740 Talk to the other ghosts?

00:08:38.120 Yeah.

00:08:38.520 Oh, come on, man.

00:08:40.140 Don't be like that, bro.

00:08:41.080 Don't make a world where if people did, they get nobody else to talk to unless that's their

00:08:46.540 punishment.

00:08:47.380 Or is it, or, or is it a choice and they choose not to go on because they, they, there's.

00:08:53.600 I'm finished business.

00:08:54.460 I'm going to stay in my house.

00:08:55.940 Yeah.

00:08:56.480 It's my house. 1.00

00:08:57.160 HOA shit. 1.00

00:08:58.500 I paid the HOA fees for this forever. 1.00

00:09:00.520 I'm staying, baby.

00:09:01.640 Yeah.

00:09:03.340 Yeah.

00:09:03.700 I'm staying here, boy.

00:09:05.520 I done paid up.

00:09:06.480 Yeah.

00:09:06.600 What if you pay six months rent in advance when you die in the first month in a flood or something?

00:09:11.080 I got a solid five months left. 1.00

00:09:12.700 Bitch, I'm here. 1.00

00:09:14.380 So. 1.00

00:09:14.720 What do you think happens, Raph?

00:09:16.580 You go, God get, you know, you get hit by the Lord's lightning, bro.

00:09:20.740 Something happens to you.

00:09:21.960 You get licked or something right off the earth.

00:09:24.680 Where, what happens to you? 0.83

00:09:26.080 I like, I like to think.

00:09:27.640 And be honest, bro.

00:09:28.400 Okay.

00:09:29.220 So I like to think that, you know how like Steve Jobs made an iPhone, right?

00:09:34.480 Yeah.

00:09:35.180 In that iPhone, there's not anything that's in that iPhone that he doesn't know it exists.

00:09:41.340 He put that camera there.

00:09:42.540 He put the, when you hit one, it goes to one.

00:09:45.140 It's the touch screen.

00:09:45.880 It's this, that, like every aspect of that.

00:09:47.880 So as a, if you're using that phone or if you're the phone, those things were instilled in you by the Steve Jobs, right?

00:09:57.680 So if I look at, or bodies like iPhone, if you're feeling sad, you're feeling things you can't explain.

00:10:03.440 You're feeling like you love someone.

00:10:05.780 You're feeling like whatever you're feeling or your thoughts or something happens or your, whatever it is, that was instilled in you.

00:10:13.140 That chip was put in you.

00:10:15.000 So for that to, for it to feel sad or compassionate, you see a puppy and you're like, oh, I want to hold it.

00:10:19.640 I want to, you know, loving someone or doing something that, you know, there's no cameras on.

00:10:23.480 You're doing something good.

00:10:24.960 Yeah.

00:10:25.220 And you're doing all these things.

00:10:26.340 I think those are instilled in us, you know, when they're like, uh, like whistling, doing something joyful, you mean?

00:10:34.820 Yeah.

00:10:35.160 Just happiness, joy.

00:10:36.340 When babies are born, they aren't born mean.

00:10:39.160 They're born into, you know, they're innocent.

00:10:41.160 And most kids are more compassionate than adults because they haven't been through all the, all the emotions that they feel.

00:10:49.540 So, so I think that all those things that are instilled in us, that it didn't come from us.

00:10:58.200 Right.

00:10:58.420 Somebody had to install that in us.

00:10:59.660 So, you got to go somewhere good.

00:11:03.400 There got to be something better.

00:11:04.680 Yeah.

00:11:05.320 Than what we're dealing with here.

00:11:08.180 That's, and sometimes that's all I got to keep going.

00:11:11.060 Amen.

00:11:11.260 Yeah.

00:11:12.380 I feel that, man.

00:11:14.480 Yeah.

00:11:14.880 Sometimes I'm like, yeah.

00:11:16.820 Then that hope, that excitement, that there's something better going on.

00:11:23.540 If I keep that in my head and in my heart, then that even helps me behave better towards people, too.

00:11:30.300 Yeah.

00:11:30.800 You know?

00:11:31.700 Because that's my tough thing.

00:11:32.920 Sometimes I just get, man, I get, I get a lot of hidden anger comes out of me. 1.00

00:11:37.560 You know, damn, like I got a damn fucking raspberry gremlin living inside of me, bro. 1.00

00:11:41.660 Fucking looking for licorice, dog. 1.00

00:11:43.380 That thing is fucking, damn, eating eggs in my ass, bro. 1.00

00:11:46.960 And not washing the silverware, dog. 1.00

00:11:48.940 Sometimes I got fucking something inside of me that just like wants to get out. 0.99

00:11:53.540 You know? 0.99

00:11:54.380 Anxiety, anger, frustration sometimes of doing, I'm doing this, this, this, this, all these things.

00:12:01.200 And, you know, and then sometimes people smoke a little weed or something and that takes the edge off.

00:12:07.720 And then as you get older, you realize, okay, maybe that, you know, maybe that's why Mike Tyson smokes so much.

00:12:12.020 It keeps him cool.

00:12:13.080 And that works for him.

00:12:14.060 You know?

00:12:14.320 Some people, they take the edge off and some people have a couple of drinks.

00:12:18.900 And then some people, if they're already an angry person, then when they drink, then that side of them comes out.

00:12:25.660 And that's when it's, you know, dangerous.

00:12:27.460 So they end up, people end up in jail, domestic, whatever the case is.

00:12:30.780 But it's like, I think, like, noticing I'm getting angry.

00:12:37.660 And then also, like how we were talking about a little earlier, where it's like looking at yourself from the outside, like being able to stop and be like, let me look at this from the outside.

00:12:46.660 Am I being like out on a movie?

00:12:49.540 And then there's the angry dad that's like yelling at the kids and beating the kids.

00:12:53.720 That's not the cool guy in the movie, right?

00:12:55.780 So stopping what you're doing and trying to take a step back.

00:12:58.920 How do I be the cool guy in the movie? 1.00

00:13:00.420 I don't want to be the angry, the angry dude who's not, who's fucking shit up. 1.00

00:13:06.320 Yeah, fighting his wife, fucking punching somebody, punching Tiffany, punching fucking Don, you know, or Ricky or somebody. 1.00

00:13:14.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:15.300 I feel you.

00:13:16.660 It's hard to have that peace, man.

00:13:18.260 Noticing to, like, you know what I mean?

00:13:19.780 Noticing that when it's about, something's about to happen.

00:13:21.900 And then also taking a note and eliminating that from, what are the pieces that made you be mad? 0.60

00:13:31.920 If doing laundry and you're throwing the laundry and your hand is hitting the thing and your back is hurting and you're getting mad and throwing some shit and breaking some, throwing the radio and that breaks $1,000. 0.93

00:13:43.400 What's cheaper? 0.99

00:13:45.900 Hiring a maid to do the laundry. 0.67

00:13:47.760 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:48.520 So you don't get mad and so your laundry ends up in a nice pile so you can go do some other shit and you still got a radio.

00:13:56.920 Or, you know, so you start to understand why, like, people are walking around. 0.57

00:14:01.200 You see a rich guy in a suit walking around with a girl who looks like off of Scooby-Doo Jinkies. 0.80

00:14:08.200 What's her name?

00:14:08.560 Oh, Ashley Marie?

00:14:10.360 No, Ashley Lynn Olsen?

00:14:12.260 Who's talking about?

00:14:13.600 No, like that.

00:14:14.340 Velma?

00:14:14.980 Yeah.

00:14:15.820 And with the glasses on with the note bag.

00:14:17.800 Velma was fine, huh?

00:14:20.320 She was a little something or other.

00:14:23.240 I know that's about right.

00:14:25.040 Come on, boy.

00:14:25.980 You know, sometimes you need, like, somebody who, I mean, once you get to a certain point, if you're, moms even, like, you need an assist, like, moms need a, a mom can't take care of three kids.

00:14:40.060 That's why one kid grows up enough, then that kid can help the mom. 1.00

00:14:43.420 Or he's sneaking out, going over, stealing sunflower seeds.

00:14:48.160 Oh, yeah.

00:14:48.780 From the squirrel bin.

00:14:50.300 Yeah, we used to do that, boy.

00:14:51.860 From the tree, and then he's stealing sunflower seeds.

00:14:53.940 Don't, don't do that.

00:14:54.920 Yeah, we had a dude like that, bro.

00:14:56.460 There's one kid in our neighborhood, this dude named Daniel, bro.

00:14:58.860 He would get up and he'd be eating right out that bird feeder, bro.

00:15:02.320 Something was wrong with him.

00:15:03.560 He like, he thought he was a bird.

00:15:06.200 Something. 1.00

00:15:06.620 He'd sip off that fucking bird bath, too, bro. 1.00

00:15:08.820 That, he just wanted, that dude was looking, bro. 1.00

00:15:11.140 He wanted to, he wanted to just, you know, have an egg come out of his ass, bro. 1.00

00:15:15.220 Something. 0.99

00:15:15.580 He just loved that bird life.

00:15:17.240 Yeah, out of all the animals, of all of them, there's only one species that when it's out 0.95

00:15:24.920 in the wild and it's doing its thing, that somebody's like, oh, shit, I got to go call 0.97

00:15:29.020 the Child Protective Pet Services. 0.99

00:15:32.420 If a bear's running around wild.

00:15:35.100 They call it.

00:15:35.840 If a dog is running across the road.

00:15:38.360 Sometimes they call it.

00:15:39.440 Yeah, depends if, you know, it's a puppy that's going in the back seat.

00:15:43.820 Yeah, he's taking it, huh?

00:15:45.060 Yeah.

00:15:45.280 Yeah.

00:15:46.000 But like, but birds.

00:15:47.880 Yeah.

00:15:48.180 If you see a bird, you can't do nothing about it.

00:15:49.700 That's true, huh?

00:15:50.700 They're gone.

00:15:51.040 They're wild.

00:15:52.240 Hawks, eagles, even the most vicious ones. 1.00

00:15:54.280 Them bitches. 1.00

00:15:55.320 Bro, we should start calling CPS on birds, bro. 0.99

00:15:58.540 By the time they get there, they're in South Florida.

00:16:00.680 I know, dog.

00:16:01.780 Or Connecticut.

00:16:03.320 But for the, but that's the thing.

00:16:05.020 They got to start tracking these animals, bro, because they know where they go.

00:16:08.540 Yeah.

00:16:08.940 A lot of them have flight patterns.

00:16:10.480 They're with a couple of their buddies.

00:16:12.400 You'd think that they would be able to figure some of that out because they got to start

00:16:15.120 tracking these dogs, man.

00:16:16.780 I would want to be a hawk.

00:16:17.920 These birds.

00:16:18.720 What animal would you want to be?

00:16:21.280 Well, now that you said, yeah, birds are the real one that can get out of, you don't have

00:16:25.960 to have any real battle.

00:16:27.460 There's no issues with society.

00:16:30.020 You don't run any court, date, nobody.

00:16:33.140 Yeah.

00:16:33.860 You don't got to do jury duty.

00:16:35.340 Mm-mm. 1.00

00:16:36.440 Damn. 1.00

00:16:36.720 One time I came outside and way out in the country and these vultures. 0.99

00:16:43.740 Oh.

00:16:44.440 Like the size of that, that right there.

00:16:47.780 Sit on tree.

00:16:48.620 What?

00:16:48.700 Tall is that beer tap?

00:16:49.960 No, this, just this.

00:16:51.860 Oh, this thing.

00:16:52.540 This piece of.

00:16:53.000 About the size of that chair right there.

00:16:54.300 Oh, dang.

00:16:54.680 And they're in, they're in the tree and, and when one bird was on a huge limb, like

00:16:59.400 it's a big pine tree limb and it leaned down a little bit, I was like, okay, these are

00:17:03.220 like 50 pounds plus big ass birds and they're looking down and I was like, what are they 0.53

00:17:08.100 looking at?

00:17:08.440 I'm looking out the window.

00:17:09.040 I go outside.

00:17:09.940 Yeah.

00:17:10.240 And my little frosty is laying down sideways.

00:17:12.480 So these vultures were just looking at her.

00:17:14.320 They were, they're as big as her. 0.79

00:17:17.020 They're thinking about dinner, huh?

00:17:18.400 Thinking about going down there and scooping some ice cream up.

00:17:21.700 Getting a couple fries and a frosty.

00:17:24.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:24.660 Damn. 1.00

00:17:25.540 Thinking about that. 1.00

00:17:26.960 They looking at you like, damn, you work at a damn Wendy's, bro. 1.00

00:17:29.780 They think about to go down there and get served. 1.00

00:17:32.000 That'd be crazy.

00:17:32.880 And there's nothing you could do because birds cheat and go right back into the air.

00:17:36.480 They're going to swoop and swoop with the claws. 1.00

00:17:38.340 Damn, bro. 1.00

00:17:39.980 Tell me this, man. 1.00

00:17:40.940 I've been thinking about this.

00:17:41.880 How do you die, bro, when it ends, man?

00:17:43.760 How do you go out?

00:17:44.920 If you, if you get your way.

00:17:47.700 So this is what, this is what, did I ever show you the, what the health?

00:17:52.260 I think I talked about it last time, right?

00:17:54.840 What the health?

00:17:55.540 What the health?

00:17:56.380 Mm-hmm.

00:17:56.680 The documentary I've seen?

00:17:59.380 I don't know if you did or not.

00:18:01.060 You might have, you have a greater memory than me.

00:18:02.720 Okay, so, so, like, I want to be as healthy as possible, eliminate as much health problems

00:18:10.940 as possible, you know, and try to be 100.

00:18:14.520 I think 100 is a good, a good solid age, man.

00:18:18.260 If you can make it to 100, because I see people at the, at the gym, this one dude drinks, he's

00:18:22.940 like, he's like 74, and he's in there every time we get in the gym, every time we go to

00:18:27.700 the gym, he's already in there working out eight, nine in the morning, and he's, he's in

00:18:32.020 there until after I leave, but he's, he only goes in the mornings, and he, and I was,

00:18:35.540 we were talking to him in the locker room.

00:18:36.740 Is he tall or short?

00:18:37.640 He's about a little, about my height, about our height, and he's 74 in shape, and I, and

00:18:45.100 he's, he said, uh, he drinks one cup, one cup of breast milk every day.

00:18:50.940 No, he said he has, he has 20 something kids, and his kids have kids, and then the mothers,

00:19:03.260 daughters, or even the daughters, or his daughters, I think he had the kids just to continue that,

00:19:09.240 keep getting a cup of, so he's, never runs out of breast milk.

00:19:11.880 He said one cup, somebody, somebody's having a baby, and somebody gets a cup.

00:19:16.460 Wow.

00:19:17.140 Do I, do I, I wonder, does it have to be drank out of, like, uh, does it come from his own

00:19:23.660 family, then, I'm guessing?

00:19:24.640 He'll do that, I'd ask him that.

00:19:26.180 He'd say, yeah.

00:19:28.360 One cup.

00:19:29.080 I wonder if I could handle it.

00:19:30.200 I wonder if it would.

00:19:30.860 I don't know how he'd, if I'd ever reflect, you know?

00:19:34.480 I mean, I think you just gotta do it, like, just, I mean, you know, you're, you know,

00:19:39.460 like, Everclear.

00:19:40.920 Mix it with some, uh, ginger ale.

00:19:43.760 Set it up, set it out in the sun for about two days.

00:19:47.820 Right?

00:19:48.640 Yeah, maybe, dog.

00:19:49.740 I don't know if I could ever have any breast milk, man.

00:19:52.500 You know, actually, I knew a girl, uh, this girl, Tommy Lahren, she has a friend who has 1.00

00:19:58.820 breast, who will, does breast milk out of her breasts at parties and shit. 1.00

00:20:02.900 Oh, no. 1.00

00:20:03.420 But I don't, I don't like all of that, bro.

00:20:05.260 I think breast milk is, if I, you know, I wouldn't drink it out of season.

00:20:10.240 What's the season for it?

00:20:11.480 I don't know what, what, I don't even know if I could do it like that.

00:20:15.320 Is it like a, you know, like, they have that thing at Starbucks that comes out, what is it?

00:20:19.100 Right, like the, like the, uh, the pumpkin spice.

00:20:22.240 Yeah.

00:20:23.060 Calzone.

00:20:23.920 Yeah, like, maybe in the wintertime I could do it, you know.

00:20:26.540 A breast milk calzone? 1.00

00:20:27.520 Do a fucking lime, kiwi, fucking licorice croissant, you know. 1.00

00:20:32.440 Right, it's just a shot. 1.00

00:20:35.000 Just a little.

00:20:35.280 Just a little.

00:20:36.280 Yeah.

00:20:36.780 You'd have to have it with something, I'm saying.

00:20:38.500 If, I think if you were, something's wrong with you.

00:20:40.520 Gotta chase with something.

00:20:42.100 Yeah, or have something before it.

00:20:43.900 I don't think you'd go and just have breast milk.

00:20:45.620 I don't, I don't think I would.

00:20:46.900 Maybe, like, melt some, like, vanilla bean, bluebell ice cream.

00:20:50.240 And you got a shot of that.

00:20:51.640 Boom.

00:20:52.000 Take that back. 0.78

00:20:52.680 Then you go breast melt. 0.98

00:20:53.720 And then you go melted, uh, vanilla bean, uh, bluebell again.

00:20:57.680 Ah.

00:20:58.920 Then it's just, you know.

00:21:01.000 I think it would overlap it.

00:21:03.120 Yeah, I think, yeah, you'd have to manage it well. 0.98

00:21:05.040 Because I don't know if you could tell your neighbors and shit about it. 0.81

00:21:07.500 I just, I don't want to be doing, I don't like to do things in secret. 0.97

00:21:11.420 That's what hurts me.

00:21:12.560 I think, yeah, I, yeah, I try not, I try not to ever lie.

00:21:16.340 Because, man, eventually you just, like, it'll become a problem for you.

00:21:22.020 And if you have a lie to somebody.

00:21:23.080 I have to remember that I lied.

00:21:24.400 If you have a lie to somebody that you, you're around all the time, or you want to be around,

00:21:31.580 then it's, all it's going to do is just, Ned, you're going to have a relationship with that lie.

00:21:39.180 Right, then you're living right next to your lies.

00:21:41.140 You don't want to have that.

00:21:42.020 And so you want to just be honest.

00:21:43.200 And then if you got to lie to somebody, maybe you just, just keep them out of your life so you ain't got to lie no more. 0.99

00:21:50.280 Yeah, tell two or three lies to them and tell them to fucking hit the road. 0.98

00:21:53.480 Does anybody ever recognize you? 0.99

00:21:54.760 And then you, you tell them, they say, hey, are you Theo Vaughn?

00:21:57.820 And then you're like, nah, man.

00:22:00.000 Yeah, sometimes, man.

00:22:01.000 And the other day I was at the airport and I wasn't doing that good.

00:22:04.320 They shut down all the food places, you know, so I was trying to fucking make something out of just a couple items at the little quick stop.

00:22:10.440 Yeah.

00:22:11.180 And they don't have a lot of good items.

00:22:12.680 You know, they, I had commandeered a couple of Lunchables out of there.

00:22:16.020 And so at least I had a couple, you know, some protein options.

00:22:18.740 That was the closest thing to a, you know, a real entree in the whole joint.

00:22:23.980 So I had me two Lunchables and I'm kind of putting something together.

00:22:26.820 I was trying to do it in secrecy.

00:22:28.060 I got to like a gate that didn't have anybody at it.

00:22:31.220 So I'm over there, got me a little plate, bro.

00:22:33.320 And things have already been delayed three or four hours.

00:22:35.020 I'm sitting over there stacking my stuff up.

00:22:38.200 Got an extra thing of string cheese and I broke that down, you know, into, you know, similar looking pieces.

00:22:46.780 And I kind of put myself to hold together a little bitty sandwich.

00:22:50.680 And this dude came up, bro.

00:22:52.420 Oh, and man, I just, I think I felt ashamed of myself for being, you know, sitting on the air, Florida airport.

00:22:58.720 I mean, you're just trying to chill.

00:23:00.440 Yeah, I know. 0.99

00:23:01.080 There's something about a man, like an adult fucking with two Lunchables open, no children around. 1.00

00:23:05.980 Just shit. 1.00

00:23:06.440 You know, it looked, I think from far away, it looked kind of sad. 0.99

00:23:09.780 And then he said, are you Theo Vaughn?

00:23:11.620 And I said, not today, I'm not.

00:23:13.420 Mm-hmm.

00:23:14.880 Yeah.

00:23:15.380 And then what'd he say?

00:23:16.700 He said, no worries, man.

00:23:17.920 I understand, bro.

00:23:18.740 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:23:19.660 And that shit just felt fucked, man. 1.00

00:23:21.800 I felt like I just didn't even take care of my kids. 0.99

00:23:25.700 Sometimes, I mean, sometimes people come up to me and they're like, are you Theo Vaughn?

00:23:31.360 And I'm like, nah, not today.

00:23:33.620 Not today.

00:23:34.540 Not having it, dude.

00:23:35.660 Oh, bro.

00:23:36.380 I will tell you this, dude.

00:23:38.180 I went to the Sherwin-Williams, bro.

00:23:40.080 Okay.

00:23:40.600 And they love you up in there, dog.

00:23:42.240 Yeah.

00:23:42.740 Oh, dog. 0.97

00:23:43.540 They love you.

00:23:44.100 I need to name some Sherwin-Williams paints.

00:23:45.360 Oh, dude.

00:23:45.940 If you had, oh.

00:23:47.160 And crayon crayons.

00:23:48.060 But Sherwin-Williams, I could name some paints. 0.99

00:23:50.460 If you had a riff-raff line, bro, caramel back hair, bro, that'd be my fucking, I'd paint 1.00

00:23:57.080 my whole house with that shit. 1.00

00:23:57.820 Understorm gray. 1.00

00:24:00.460 Oh, what about this?

00:24:02.300 Cripple mauve. 0.97

00:24:05.400 I would say, or if it was like a mauve tone.

00:24:07.900 I love some mauve tones.

00:24:09.800 I would have like marvelous.

00:24:11.520 Ooh, ooh. 0.64

00:24:13.380 What about this, bro?

00:24:19.160 What about diabetes?

00:24:26.080 That color?

00:24:27.420 The color, bro.

00:24:29.020 I think I would be probably on the up and up of the positive things.

00:24:32.680 Or what about this?

00:24:33.720 Okay.

00:24:35.040 What else?

00:24:36.400 Cured diabetes. 1.00

00:24:38.000 Damn. 1.00

00:24:38.700 Orange. 0.99

00:24:39.900 That's nice.

00:24:40.940 It's a nice, nice melted, like a melted Flintstones push-up pop type deal.

00:24:50.720 It's a nice orange.

00:24:51.760 Yeah.

00:24:53.560 Yeah, I think I would love it if you did Sherwin-Williams.

00:24:55.400 But I went into Sherwin-Williams, bro, and the dude goes, man, you know who you look like,

00:24:59.280 dude, bro.

00:25:00.760 And this, he was like that dude that says, dude, bro.

00:25:03.320 You know, he's like, you know who you look like, dude, bro.

00:25:06.780 And I thought he was going to say me.

00:25:09.400 I thought he was joking with me. 0.99

00:25:11.360 And he goes, you look like motherfucking riffraff, dude. 1.00

00:25:15.180 Then he goes, I love that. 1.00

00:25:16.680 And he said the N-word, a white dude, bro. 1.00

00:25:18.600 I like, damn. 1.00

00:25:20.560 They know me. 1.00

00:25:21.480 They know me.

00:25:22.500 Yeah, that's it. 0.99

00:25:23.120 I was like, damn, that's cool as hell, bro. 0.99

00:25:25.300 If a white person calls you the N-word and you're a white person, bro, that's like as 1.00

00:25:30.080 good as you can do.

00:25:31.560 I think. 1.00

00:25:31.880 Fuck with you. 1.00

00:25:32.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:32.720 They fuck with you hard, man. 1.00

00:25:34.220 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:34.540 I feel like black people would let you say the N-word, man. 1.00

00:25:36.740 They don't. 0.97

00:25:37.060 I feel like.

00:25:37.660 Like, do whatever I want because I select who I'm around or not.

00:25:43.920 Yeah.

00:25:44.680 You know, you got to, you don't want to have to watch your mouth, watch your tone around

00:25:50.160 your friends.

00:25:51.360 You know what I mean?

00:25:52.220 Yeah.

00:25:52.580 You get to a certain level where it's like, I don't got to answer to nobody.

00:25:57.120 And I can choose who I even want to be in my world.

00:26:01.900 And when I, I learned at a young age, I'm better at yelling than explaining. 0.95

00:26:07.640 When I start stuttering, it's because I'm trying to say some shit that I feel like, what 0.99

00:26:13.240 the fuck am I even explaining for? 0.98

00:26:14.840 But then if I care about somebody, I'll try to explain something. 0.99

00:26:19.420 And I feel like, damn, I feel like I'm explaining to grandma why I've got a face full of jam 30 minutes 0.93

00:26:24.460 before dinner. 1.00

00:26:24.920 Go clean off your damn britches, rubbing that damn strawberry, raspberry medallions 1.00

00:26:32.280 all over your, all of your Superman briefs. 1.00

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00:28:00.680 and you over there getting, um, uh, boomerang weekly and somebody mailing you a boomerang

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00:29:04.860 Bro, my grandmother, bro.

00:29:06.680 She hated me, bro.

00:29:08.300 But she, you know, spent time around me. 0.96

00:29:10.100 So, you know, she liked to have me around, I think.

00:29:11.880 So, so I would know that she hated me.

00:29:13.600 Okay.

00:29:14.600 But anytime I would go in the bathroom, bro, I'd wash my hands, urinate, whatever.

00:29:20.540 She would bang on the door, bro, and ask me if I was doing a bowel movement in there.

00:29:25.480 She was there?

00:29:25.960 Every time, bro.

00:29:27.740 It just.

00:29:30.180 She didn't want you to?

00:29:32.460 She don't give a lot of context with it.

00:29:34.200 She would just like, are you doing a BM?

00:29:35.440 And she would, oh, she would write it down on a little thing when we did it.

00:29:38.760 Oh, wow.

00:29:39.720 Trying to monitor your, like, what time to eat or what time to.

00:29:43.220 Maybe something like that.

00:29:44.500 You know, maybe she didn't want us, like, you know.

00:29:46.640 Messing up that porcelain.

00:29:48.140 Probably, yeah.

00:29:48.680 You tinkering up that porcelain?

00:29:52.060 Don't be, don't be putting those stains on my new porcelain.

00:29:57.020 Yeah, you bootying up that pink porcelain. 0.99

00:30:00.460 I think she wanted to know when we was, she was that kind of lady. 1.00

00:30:03.640 She wanted to know when you was going to really shit. 1.00

00:30:06.840 That's a certain type. 1.00

00:30:08.340 Oh, bro.

00:30:08.800 She was hardcore, bro.

00:30:10.180 She was like a real, you know.

00:30:12.700 Militant.

00:30:13.200 Colin Powell or whatever.

00:30:14.700 Real militant minded.

00:30:16.000 Oh.

00:30:17.100 She was.

00:30:17.520 Sergeant.

00:30:18.140 Yeah.

00:30:18.500 Sergeant Streaks.

00:30:19.560 Yeah, she really was, man.

00:30:21.000 Real Sergeant Streaks.

00:30:22.440 Dude, I'm grateful to have you here, man.

00:30:24.000 I wanted to ask you, too, bro.

00:30:25.520 I was thinking about, you know, a lot of rumors, bro.

00:30:32.320 There's a lot of rumors out there in the world.

00:30:34.080 Always.

00:30:36.920 And you believe in rumors?

00:30:39.320 It depends who the source is, honestly, where it's coming from.

00:30:43.420 But you never know who heard it prior to.

00:30:45.340 I mean, it's a 50-50 thing.

00:30:48.680 And then it's just like, you know, if we were sitting in a circle and somebody say something, 0.99

00:30:51.680 it really, it depends which person is telling the information and how fucked up they are. 0.94

00:31:00.360 Are they drunk telling the story that they aren't supposed to be telling and they have half the information and are saying it wrong? 0.98

00:31:05.260 Oh, yeah.

00:31:05.680 Do they hear it the other way?

00:31:06.580 And then how are they going to translate it?

00:31:08.460 So it's usually, usually.

00:31:11.800 Sometimes it's just because if it's a good, if it's a bad, if it's something bad, if it's a bad story, if it's something that's negative about somebody,

00:31:21.980 it could be a just complete lie that somebody made up that's very specific and they're trying to fuck this person up.

00:31:29.320 And then there's no way out of it. 1.00

00:31:30.380 You already got shit stains on it. 0.99

00:31:32.640 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:31:33.020 Grandma's beating on that door. 0.92

00:31:34.300 But if it's good, then it's a 50-50.

00:31:39.260 If it's bad, it's 10%.

00:31:41.340 That's how I see it.

00:31:42.660 Right, right.

00:31:43.000 If it's a rumor that's bad, it's probably 10% chance.

00:31:46.180 Less credibility on the bad ones.

00:31:48.160 Right.

00:31:48.540 That's what I've learned.

00:31:50.240 That's fair, man.

00:31:51.060 Especially if it has something to do with a wealthy male.

00:31:56.100 Yeah.

00:31:56.540 If it's a wealthy male and it's something bad, it's probably 10%.

00:31:59.620 Yeah, it's probably been, a lot of it could be calculated there.

00:32:02.440 It's very calculated.

00:32:03.560 Everything's a smear campaign when it's something bad.

00:32:05.920 If somebody's saying something bad about somebody who's successful and has money, chances are it's a smear campaign.

00:32:14.080 Yeah.

00:32:16.280 Yeah, it happens a lot, man.

00:32:17.940 Dude, I remember we would play that game Telephone.

00:32:19.860 I remember where people always say that thing in a circle.

00:32:21.760 Somebody say something, you say it to somebody else.

00:32:24.260 And I grew up in Louisiana, and half the time we'd come around and be like, they would be at the end of the line, you know?

00:32:30.040 And we had this one kid, bro, the same kid I was telling you about earlier, bro, this kid Daniel.

00:32:34.420 He would always, we'd play it at school with the teacher, right?

00:32:38.120 Yeah.

00:32:38.320 So we would come all the way around, and she'd be like, all right, Daniel, say what you heard.

00:32:42.100 And he would yell the N-word, bro. 1.00

00:32:45.200 We'd be like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:32:46.820 Out of nowhere. 1.00

00:32:47.480 And it was his plan the whole time, bro.

00:32:50.720 He would just wait.

00:32:51.540 It would be like, you know, mom likes shortbread. 0.88

00:32:54.580 And it would go on, you know, somebody gots a short horse.

00:32:57.480 And then it's like, D'Andra, you know, ride a short bus.

00:33:00.760 And it would keep moving around.

00:33:01.780 And then he would yell out, just yell out the N-word. 1.00

00:33:05.300 He'd be like, damn. 1.00

00:33:06.220 Classic Daniel. 1.00

00:33:07.120 And they kept him there the same every time.

00:33:09.340 They kept him.

00:33:09.980 Yeah, they kept him.

00:33:11.120 Yeah, at least move him from the end.

00:33:13.720 And the teacher had no plans, bro.

00:33:17.100 But so what I'm trying to really, I guess, ask you is, there's a lot of rumors out there

00:33:21.140 about you.

00:33:21.560 You've had a lot of stuff in your life about music, art.

00:33:25.380 And I'm hearing that you might have a thing where you want to get into politics and stuff

00:33:29.040 like that.

00:33:29.560 Are you serious?

00:33:32.900 Yeah, I'm serious, man.

00:33:34.020 I mean, no.

00:33:36.620 But if, I mean, how much is it, how much is the, how much do they pay you to be the president?

00:33:41.760 Only thing, only way I would do it in politics is if, you know how people can go viral or

00:33:46.660 a song can just magically go viral from 10 years ago, 20 years ago. 0.93

00:33:49.600 If somebody did a Dale D'Antoni for president campaign and that shit actually went and they're 0.97

00:33:54.480 like, well, he's over 35. 0.99

00:33:56.160 Well, he's born in America.

00:33:57.680 Well, you know what? 0.99

00:33:58.980 We gave fucking, uh, fucking Weekend of Bernie's guy. 1.00

00:34:02.660 We gave him, we gave fucking, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:34:05.860 We gave Carl from Home Depot the fucking president. 1.00

00:34:08.520 We like, just to get the other guy out, like shit, fuck it. 1.00

00:34:12.460 Let's go to The Rock. 1.00

00:34:13.600 Rock's like, nah, I got movies to shoot. 1.00

00:34:15.180 Fuck it, go D'Antoni. 1.00

00:34:17.120 And everybody's like, you know what? 1.00

00:34:18.780 Like, let's just get a fucking American fucking real actual man in there to fucking run the 1.00

00:34:23.620 show and, and, and listen to the people and do all this shit. 0.99

00:34:27.680 I'd do it, but it's not, it's not like that. 0.99

00:34:31.900 But is it something, so you would do it if it came to you, if it came knocking on your

00:34:34.980 door, you would do it?

00:34:35.700 Put it like this.

00:34:36.660 It's like, everybody asks me to like, oh, you should have podcasts.

00:34:39.740 You should do all these, you know, have a pocket.

00:34:41.820 I don't feel like I could set that up and organize it.

00:34:46.200 The only way I would do that is if like, you were like, oh, you know what?

00:34:51.100 I'm going to fully set up this riffraff podcast and then, and then show me the vision coming

00:34:57.540 from someone who's, who's already massively successful in it.

00:35:01.260 So it would have to be something from the world and they want it. 1.00

00:35:06.440 They want it and they put it together and fuck it. 1.00

00:35:08.720 I'll be, I'll be president. 1.00

00:35:09.940 And now I'll actually try, but me doing the whole campaign and actually trying to be president 0.99

00:35:15.120 or trying to be, I'm going to be the fucking. 0.98

00:35:17.480 A mayor. 1.00

00:35:18.040 You could start with a mayor, a city council, a city council.

00:35:20.740 Sounds like a lot of work.

00:35:21.720 A lot of suits, a lot of dry cleaners, a lot of luncheon.

00:35:27.080 Can I bring my dogs?

00:35:28.420 I think you could.

00:35:29.120 These are questions that I'm like, I got to even ask the HOA.

00:35:32.000 What's some of the rules you do right when you get in there?

00:35:34.400 They put you in there, man.

00:35:35.540 What am I, are we talking mayor or talking president?

00:35:39.560 I would say Senate or Lieutenant or like Governor, Lieutenant Governor.

00:35:43.040 First of all, I'm like, all right, where y'all got me staying at?

00:35:46.080 Is it a guard gated Senate penthouse?

00:35:50.180 So you want that upstairs spot.

00:35:51.940 I need them upstates.

00:35:53.420 Yeah.

00:35:54.440 We're going to like, what are the part?

00:35:56.340 What do you, what, like, I need to know where I'm at, where I could set up.

00:36:00.460 Is there a homeowners association in my home? 0.99

00:36:04.820 Are y'all giving me a house or just giving me a whole bunch of shit to do in a pile of 0.98

00:36:08.580 papers and be like, oh, you got to find your own trailer. 0.99

00:36:11.100 So you want housing?

00:36:12.640 Not just housing.

00:36:14.360 My bad.

00:36:15.020 Big, just give me an arena. 0.97

00:36:21.860 Okay.

00:36:22.600 All right.

00:36:23.380 All right.

00:36:24.200 Guard gated.

00:36:25.240 And what you going to do though?

00:36:26.540 A moat that goes around the entire thing and one drawbridge goes down.

00:36:30.800 That's what we're doing first.

00:36:31.800 We're building a moat.

00:36:33.100 All right.

00:36:34.180 10 feet because nobody's 10 feet tall.

00:36:37.420 Alligators.

00:36:39.660 And then what?

00:36:40.800 Piranhas. 1.00

00:36:42.160 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:36:43.620 Do alligators and piranhas even get along? 0.99

00:36:45.700 We don't know.

00:36:47.120 So imagine if you fell in that.

00:36:49.560 You got.

00:36:50.520 I'm not doing that.

00:36:51.460 They're already been practicing.

00:36:53.260 Oh, I ain't being in there, bro.

00:36:54.520 You know?

00:36:55.040 So when they have to try to get me out after them four years or I don't know, what is

00:36:58.980 it?

00:36:59.100 Two and a half months if you're saying it?

00:37:01.080 I don't know what it is.

00:37:02.200 They just shot that one guy.

00:37:03.940 See?

00:37:05.060 Like fame isn't even.

00:37:07.900 Stain said it.

00:37:08.800 Oh, you put my.

00:37:10.040 You want that smoke, baby?

00:37:10.620 You put my grandma in the prison in 86.

00:37:15.020 I'm like, I just started being in the Senate.

00:37:16.980 You didn't get my grandma.

00:37:18.380 Your great grandfather put my grandfather in a headlock.

00:37:24.240 Yeah.

00:37:25.180 You know?

00:37:25.760 And now I'm dealing with the previous prior terms of agreement. 1.00

00:37:30.660 You're dealing with old shit. 1.00

00:37:31.740 You used to steal cinnamon. 1.00

00:37:33.400 Your great grandfather stole cinnamon from somebody.

00:37:35.800 I knew.

00:37:36.160 You stole the cinnamon toast crunch idea.

00:37:40.640 Your Uncle Rodney.

00:37:41.940 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:43.120 Had his fist so far up my ass. 1.00

00:37:46.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:47.200 He took my ideas.

00:37:48.980 He took my identity.

00:37:50.320 Yeah.

00:37:50.880 I'm having an identity crisis.

00:37:53.280 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:53.680 And it's really just a gallbladder issue.

00:37:55.500 It's somebody who just got, who, it's a four-year-old.

00:38:01.160 They're leaving comments.

00:38:03.300 And now you have to deal with that.

00:38:04.580 Now you're losing sponsors because somebody made five fake IG pages saying they don't want

00:38:10.100 you to be senators.

00:38:10.840 They're kicking you out.

00:38:11.600 For toddlers.

00:38:12.320 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:13.620 Damn. 1.00

00:38:15.000 Yeah, you're right, man. 1.00

00:38:16.320 It's a lot.

00:38:17.060 Politics, I feel like it would give me more anxiety.

00:38:20.080 Really?

00:38:20.420 Than I already.

00:38:21.480 You have a good bit of anxiety, you think?

00:38:23.500 Every day.

00:38:24.420 Really?

00:38:25.340 People wouldn't believe it.

00:38:27.180 And what do you take for it?

00:38:28.300 Do you take a special juice or something?

00:38:29.820 What are you doing right now for it?

00:38:30.780 Do you do massages?

00:38:31.540 Do you go to any type of like, you know, I do therapy twice a week.

00:38:36.380 I do men's meeting.

00:38:37.640 Yeah.

00:38:38.240 More talking?

00:38:39.080 The only time I talk is with you or maybe my pups.

00:38:44.360 My pups are my therapy.

00:38:46.100 Oh, they are?

00:38:46.920 That's your therapist, huh?

00:38:47.860 Dang.

00:38:48.120 Well, they say they have equestrian therapy.

00:38:49.880 People talk to horses.

00:38:52.660 I don't know if it's horses or not, but they talk to different animals.

00:38:58.540 Yeah, I guess it is horses.

00:38:59.960 Equestrian?

00:39:00.460 Yeah, that's equestrian. 1.00

00:39:01.820 Damn, bro. 1.00

00:39:03.000 That's brave as fuck, dude. 1.00

00:39:04.720 The first dude who ever did it must have been high on drugs, bro. 0.99

00:39:08.080 Roll up to a horse and just start telling him what was going on.

00:39:10.440 I mean, if you set your phone down and set everything to the side and you sit there like in the midst of like a horse or your dog that you raised or whatever, like.

00:39:24.200 Yeah.

00:39:24.480 And you're talking, regardless if, energy is real, you know, and the vibe is real.

00:39:34.000 And they say horses calm people down, and that's true.

00:39:38.320 I feel like that, you know.

00:39:40.520 So, I think when you're talking to your, if you were, you're raising, my puppies, right?

00:39:48.200 My puppies, I'm raising them and everything.

00:39:49.900 They know, they know my energy.

00:39:53.080 Okay.

00:39:53.420 They know my, whatever. 0.76

00:39:54.320 If I'm throwing shit around or if I'm mad or I'm throwing something or slam the door, they might get scared at first, but they don't run away from me. 0.75

00:40:01.980 They know that something's wrong, and sometimes, like, if I'm just, and if I do something, and then, like, well, I mean, I was thinking about Jody just now, but, like, I, they, they understand, and they could come near me.

00:40:21.160 So, they're almost more supportive.

00:40:23.020 Like, they know, hey, what's going on?

00:40:24.280 You know, I believe that, you know, I don't think even, like, we could go back to the caveman times.

00:40:30.700 There wasn't any language.

00:40:32.340 Now, there's 50 different languages or something.

00:40:34.020 Like, when you talk, like, you're not in your stomach, and you're, like, exerting this energy.

00:40:38.400 I think some things, like, communicating doesn't have to be words.

00:40:43.640 Like, sometimes, you know, if you have your loved one near, and, like, you know, sometimes just holding a hand or hugging or something like that, not just a random person, but maybe, but maybe, you know what I mean?

00:40:56.960 I think sometimes the best communication isn't even words.

00:41:01.840 So, therapy could be.

00:41:03.720 Yeah, that's a good point, man.

00:41:04.700 They could even have therapy where you just go and hug somebody or hold somebody.

00:41:08.460 Petting horses.

00:41:09.520 Brushing a horse.

00:41:10.720 I feel like that would be a lot more stress relieving than.

00:41:16.080 Kickboxing.

00:41:16.520 Talking to somebody and then paying them 300 bucks to tell you what your problems are, that maybe they got the same problem, or they got other problems, that they got to go to somebody else to talk about.

00:41:30.340 Maybe it's good, though.

00:41:31.300 Maybe therapy is good.

00:41:32.720 I haven't done it yet.

00:41:33.420 You should try it.

00:41:33.860 You never tried it?

00:41:34.540 No.

00:41:35.240 Really?

00:41:35.780 Mm-hmm.

00:41:36.080 Man, you got it, guys.

00:41:39.040 I guess, but then also, sometimes I think you should be able to pay the therapist based on how it went.

00:41:43.280 Yeah.

00:41:43.460 If it went good, you get 60.

00:41:44.720 If it went all right, you get 45.

00:41:46.900 You know?

00:41:47.660 You know?

00:41:48.340 Get your little cup of coupon or something.

00:41:50.380 Yeah, I'd be like, I'm going to get you next time.

00:41:52.520 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to get you next time.

00:41:53.880 We're going to see what you got next time, therapist person.

00:41:56.060 Yeah, we'll see how it goes, man.

00:41:57.520 This couch is itchy.

00:42:00.000 Is it?

00:42:00.560 You know what I'm saying?

00:42:01.660 You're laying down on the therapist's couch.

00:42:03.540 Oh, yeah, it's a wool. 0.99

00:42:04.700 I'm not laying on this damn thing. 0.98

00:42:06.600 Not this one. 0.98

00:42:07.200 This is good.

00:42:07.660 This is nice, quality velveteens.

00:42:10.700 Nice, quality velveteens.

00:42:12.300 But I'll just, is it like a spa-type setting in there, or is it bright lights beaming in?

00:42:17.640 No.

00:42:18.260 I think some of the times I go in there, it's kind of chill and dark books behind you.

00:42:22.240 Okay.

00:42:22.840 They talk about getting better. 0.99

00:42:24.700 They got a picture of a guy on there getting, you know, and he's like, some guy's crying by his bed or something with his penis out. 0.99

00:42:31.500 Okay. 0.99

00:42:31.860 And then a couple books have pictures of, like, a brain on them.

00:42:35.540 Which book do you pull? 0.97

00:42:36.700 And then the bookcase twists around, and then you're like, oh, I don't give a fuck about anxiety. 0.83

00:42:41.740 There's an adventure and a treasure back here. 0.99

00:42:44.420 Like, all of a sudden, you're wiping your tears on your Gucci sweater and fucking running back there. 1.00

00:42:49.620 Like, damn, $45 an hour? 1.00

00:42:51.880 Damn, baby. 1.00

00:42:52.580 This ain't fucking an escape room. 1.00

00:42:54.200 Yeah. 0.97

00:42:54.460 I think people, if everybody lived the life like it's a movie, I think people wouldn't be crying as much.

00:43:03.020 Did you ever see The Goonies?

00:43:05.260 Yeah, I liked The Goonies, man.

00:43:06.840 My cousin knew a guy who worked with a guy who used to, who worked on Goonies.

00:43:16.980 He knew, what did he say about it?

00:43:21.320 Any info or just that was that?

00:43:25.340 He was just bragging.

00:43:27.160 Like, yeah, my brother did the makeup.

00:43:29.660 He did the makeup for that.

00:43:30.840 Yeah.

00:43:31.140 Remember when... 0.98

00:43:32.180 And it's like, just tell us your brother's gay, bro. 0.94

00:43:34.680 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:43:35.440 Don't tell us all of this crazy shit. 1.00

00:43:37.700 Yeah, my brother did the makeup for Bad Boys 4 or something, you know? 1.00

00:43:41.980 Oh, okay.

00:43:43.220 Or Christmas with the Cranks.

00:43:45.420 Yeah, my cousin got beat up on a set of Christmas with the Cranks at night when the set was closed down. 1.00

00:43:50.700 Damn. 0.99

00:43:51.740 What about this, though, man? 0.99

00:43:54.180 You've had a lot of interesting things in your life.

00:43:57.200 Music, art.

00:44:00.580 Michael Jordan reenactments.

00:44:02.980 It's true.

00:44:03.920 What about that family, bro?

00:44:05.300 You going to get a family or what's up?

00:44:07.700 Soon, one day.

00:44:09.120 Really?

00:44:09.580 I think in the next.

00:44:10.940 I want my Huskies to play with my child, you know?

00:44:16.820 I want to have my Huskies play with my kid, you know?

00:44:20.520 And I think that'll bring life.

00:44:25.300 You know, it's like I've gotten puppies for the big one, you know, and then you get another puppy.

00:44:30.480 You know what I mean?

00:44:31.220 Yeah.

00:44:31.480 I think that they need to see a baby.

00:44:34.600 Dang, bro.

00:44:36.160 High roller needs a low roller, baby. 1.00

00:44:38.100 You know, a little baby riff or a little, you know, ain't no telling.

00:44:43.380 Do you think about it sometimes?

00:44:44.480 I think about it.

00:44:45.280 It's always been kind of spooky to me.

00:44:46.740 Yeah, yeah.

00:44:47.200 It's definitely, like, something that you, it'll be life-changing, but I think it comes

00:44:51.780 to time, just like, if you have it in your mind when you're a kid, like, eventually, you

00:44:56.760 know, then you're going to get your time.

00:44:58.000 Like, all right, well, it's about time.

00:44:59.540 You know?

00:44:59.900 It's like, I think, like, I think every man should, like, I've lived with my homies before.

00:45:07.020 We lived in crazy houses in L.A. or wherever, and you, you know, it's a fun time.

00:45:11.360 Oh, yeah.

00:45:11.580 I remember last time you told us about living with Simon when you first moved out there with

00:45:14.760 him.

00:45:14.980 Yeah, but I think eventually, you get to a point where you're like, well, I've lived

00:45:20.900 with my friends before.

00:45:22.260 Like, you know, I think when you're about, like, 30, it's time to be like, oh, when I

00:45:27.180 go home, or I got my woman at home, you know? 1.00

00:45:31.260 Because I think just eventually, even if you got your friends and y'all go do whatever,

00:45:35.620 like, eventually, you're going to get tired of doing everything yourself.

00:45:41.240 You know what I mean?

00:45:42.880 Yeah, it gets lonesome.

00:45:44.980 Like, boring, lonesome.

00:45:46.780 You start thinking too much, being less productive, you know?

00:45:51.000 Yeah, I even got me one of them dang body pillows one time, bro.

00:45:54.100 Full body.

00:45:54.900 It's like a, supposed to be like, not a woman, but they say you could put perfume or whatever 1.00

00:45:59.360 on it.

00:45:59.860 Yeah, pretty much.

00:46:01.740 But it can't just be anybody.

00:46:03.860 No.

00:46:04.420 Because that, you know, goes back to the energy thing.

00:46:06.880 Like, if you aren't.

00:46:09.380 Yeah.

00:46:10.020 You got to be something, you know what I mean?

00:46:11.220 And then that's where it's like, all right, like, this is something that I'm going to

00:46:17.060 have to, you know, organize, not, what's the word?

00:46:23.140 Like, the thought of, like, having a child in your mind, it's getting close to that time.

00:46:28.600 You know what I mean?

00:46:28.940 Or if you're getting out of shape, it's like, oh, I'm going to have to hit the gym pretty

00:46:31.340 soon.

00:46:32.220 You know what I mean?

00:46:32.940 Right.

00:46:33.160 It's a little bit of that same thing almost.

00:46:34.560 It's like, there's something inside of you that says, man, something, yeah, like, I come

00:46:38.340 home and I have a sandwich or I make me a taco.

00:46:41.080 Yeah.

00:46:41.440 I make tacos probably five nights a week.

00:46:44.080 Okay.

00:46:44.580 I'm going to make tacos, too.

00:46:45.480 I make some mean Del D'Antoni tacos. 0.99

00:46:48.340 Damn. 0.99

00:46:48.740 I got to make you something. 0.99

00:46:49.680 Yeah, I would have something out on the Ponderosa, baby. 1.00

00:46:52.200 Get out there and fill my damn holes with them. 0.99

00:46:55.060 But I'll say this, man. 1.00

00:46:57.100 Fill my holes with them.

00:46:58.580 Oh, bro.

00:46:59.300 All of them. 0.98

00:47:00.100 Dude, I fucking love tacos so much, bro. 1.00

00:47:02.080 If I could, bro, if I had taste buds in my colon, I'd put one in my ass, bro. 1.00

00:47:05.860 Well, you know, it's one way to do it. 1.00

00:47:08.040 And then there's other ways.

00:47:08.960 There's one of them.

00:47:09.700 I'm just saying, bro.

00:47:10.620 Yeah.

00:47:10.900 I want that, you know.

00:47:12.480 See what that is.

00:47:13.320 Yeah.

00:47:13.740 Now, don't supersize it, though.

00:47:15.020 See what that is.

00:47:15.640 That's for sure.

00:47:16.260 I want that regular size, man.

00:47:17.740 Yeah.

00:47:17.820 I want that baby talk.

00:47:20.700 But yeah, man, I think about that because that's always been spooky to me, bro, is thinking

00:47:25.660 about having a kid. 0.99

00:47:26.820 Just that shit always scared me getting married. 1.00

00:47:29.260 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:29.640 You ever been married?

00:47:30.560 Never. 1.00

00:47:31.520 Damn, bro. 0.99

00:47:32.900 And me neither, bro. 1.00

00:47:34.020 Yeah.

00:47:34.660 I think Simon either.

00:47:36.160 We have a few mutual acquaintances and friends that I never.

00:47:41.960 And just now, he's having like, he's not at his prime yet, I don't think.

00:47:46.760 He keeps remaking his prime.

00:47:48.740 Every time.

00:47:49.220 When I talk to him, I'm like, you know, like Naked Gun, 33 and a third.

00:47:53.360 Yeah.

00:47:53.900 Like, I could see him being that.

00:47:55.340 And then finally blowing up, Steve Martin.

00:47:57.080 Like, all you remember him.

00:47:58.040 He had, I remember the only time I saw Steve Martin when he had white hair.

00:48:01.680 Yeah.

00:48:02.260 So when he was in Three Amigos and.

00:48:04.940 Or in high school, anything.

00:48:06.480 What was the one where he was the one where it's like, he was the dad.

00:48:09.460 Oh, oh, I know what you're talking about.

00:48:12.000 Father of the Bride.

00:48:12.900 It was Meet the Parents before Meet the Parents.

00:48:15.360 Oh, My Girl.

00:48:17.080 Both of those.

00:48:18.980 He was great, bro.

00:48:20.220 Yeah.

00:48:20.660 He's still around.

00:48:21.820 Dude, he was in my favorite movie.

00:48:24.380 Above the Rim?

00:48:25.940 No.

00:48:26.560 Oh.

00:48:27.240 That's your favorite movie, bro.

00:48:28.780 We know that probably.

00:48:30.480 He was in.

00:48:31.560 Clash of the Titans.

00:48:32.560 No, the one where he's the preacher, the traveling preacher.

00:48:36.560 Did you ever see that?

00:48:37.060 I see that.

00:48:37.660 I don't watch it.

00:48:38.520 God, bro.

00:48:39.340 What's it called?

00:48:39.700 It's called, I think, Snake something.

00:48:44.780 Snake something.

00:48:47.060 Let me think.

00:48:48.080 Dang, bro.

00:48:49.440 We'll look that up.

00:48:50.620 It had like a picture of him on the front of the thing.

00:48:54.860 Yeah.

00:48:55.160 With kids, that gives me anxiety because I know how cautious and how much I care about my pups.

00:49:05.940 It's so like with a kid, I know, I know, and the more I like hear about like people having kids and that are like, they keep, they homeschool them and stuff because they don't want them going out into what's in the world right now.

00:49:20.900 Like, you know, that's like, it's just out of control.

00:49:25.220 So, I mean, and again, there could be a million schools and then one bad thing happens.

00:49:29.600 That's going to be all of the news.

00:49:30.580 I understand that.

00:49:31.480 The news does that.

00:49:31.980 The percentage is low, but I don't even want that percentage.

00:49:34.320 And I think in the first 10 years of a child's life, it's almost like a hard drive or a SIM card.

00:49:44.080 A SIM card, you know, it gets full, right?

00:49:46.340 Like a SIM card that you're taking pictures.

00:49:47.900 So you're downloading or an iPod, you're downloading all this information for the first 10 years and then after 10 years, unplug it and now you're using that information.

00:49:56.880 Oh, you're playing the songs.

00:49:57.780 And it's updating your apps, but you're uploading, you're getting those initial things that are like the basis of your entire life. 0.96

00:50:07.560 I remember shit from when I was between 1 and 10 more than I remember shit from when I was 20 or 30. 0.95

00:50:13.440 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:13.760 You know what I'm saying?

00:50:14.640 And we still probably live off of those things.

00:50:17.460 Oh, I live off those old operating systems.

00:50:19.240 You know what I mean?

00:50:19.720 You know?

00:50:20.300 So I would want my kid, I would want to be right there definitely for the first 10 years.

00:50:26.180 Make sure they're protected, you know, put tennis balls on the edges of all corners and there's nobody busting their face open.

00:50:32.500 And you got to be there because that's when the kids are going to remember either my dad loves me and my parents love me.

00:50:41.280 And it's not even going to, it's going to be subliminally already instilled in them.

00:50:43.900 They're going to have so much confidence that my parents got my back.

00:50:47.620 My dad always got my back.

00:50:48.660 Let's go play this.

00:50:49.440 Let's go do this.

00:50:49.980 Like I can call my dad.

00:50:51.080 Then they get into that pattern of doing that where if you weren't there, then that in the first 10 years, if you weren't there every day, it doesn't matter if you, oh, they aren't going to understand like, oh, he was working.

00:51:00.680 He was the one paying for this.

00:51:01.560 If you weren't there that day, all they can remember is that they didn't have a close relationship with you and it's not going to get closer.

00:51:07.480 So I think that the first 10 years, you got to be right there.

00:51:11.280 Like I see how like DJ Khaled loves his kids.

00:51:14.920 I can't see them going to no public school.

00:51:16.600 If you want to teach them something, they come to the house.

00:51:20.360 Yeah, he'd probably have a tutor or something or build a little school in his house.

00:51:22.680 Or they're maybe learning a different language, maybe learning math, maybe learning whatever.

00:51:26.760 But I think being around, a kid being around their parents.

00:51:29.940 Is important.

00:51:31.320 And then they learn how you act.

00:51:33.860 They learn how you do things.

00:51:35.400 They learn how to do.

00:51:36.540 Now it's time to like, okay, let me not smoke around the kid.

00:51:39.660 Let me not drink.

00:51:40.360 Let me not. 0.99

00:51:40.820 You got to be on your, you know, you don't want to be yelling around them and all that shit. 0.98

00:51:44.900 So did you with that? 0.96

00:51:46.020 Did you feel like your environment was like that growing up or you would give your kids a different environment?

00:51:50.520 I would.

00:51:51.080 I would give them a way different environment.

00:51:53.260 But I also love both my parents and they were doing like they were doing the best that they could.

00:51:58.420 Yeah.

00:51:58.840 They were doing the best they could.

00:51:59.940 Like I don't look back at them like, oh, I hate my dad or, you know, I hate my mom or something, you know, because ultimately, yeah.

00:52:07.820 And ultimately they, whoever your parents were, even if you don't like them, I can't speak for everybody, but it's like you're here.

00:52:15.700 The combination of those two made you be here.

00:52:18.480 And if it was somebody else was, it wasn't your, if he wasn't here, you wouldn't even be here.

00:52:23.860 Right.

00:52:24.280 So just remember that.

00:52:26.220 But this is, yeah, that's how you got here.

00:52:27.720 So when it's like, you see like stories of like, like kids, like, oh, some kid in high school couldn't do this.

00:52:37.900 And then, yeah.

00:52:38.360 So, yeah, good point.

00:52:40.340 Yeah.

00:52:40.580 Damien, he killed his parents because they wouldn't give him, they wouldn't let him watch cartoons at nine o'clock.

00:52:45.860 You see that sometimes.

00:52:47.540 Damien had one kid.

00:52:48.800 His parent wouldn't let him go to the dance and he killed his whole family.

00:52:51.220 And it's like.

00:52:54.120 And he couldn't even dance that good.

00:52:55.640 They had a video of him dancing.

00:52:58.120 He wanted to learn how to dance.

00:52:59.980 I mean, it just.

00:53:01.000 What, what, I mean, like, I guess, I guess.

00:53:03.280 You remember going to the dance as a kid or not?

00:53:06.560 Uh, I would go to the skating rink.

00:53:09.700 Oh, yeah, you would.

00:53:11.740 Yeah.

00:53:12.400 I could see you.

00:53:13.160 I love that. 0.99

00:53:13.760 Probably like a damn endangered species up in the skating rink, baby. 0.96

00:53:18.420 And I would skate a little bit if I would mostly play arcade games. 0.92

00:53:21.640 But just the vibe of, and it was like a black light in there.

00:53:25.720 And they had a little DJ dude.

00:53:27.800 They had a DJ up in that little DJ pot.

00:53:29.960 And you just come in there.

00:53:30.960 And as soon as you open that door, it's a cold wind.

00:53:34.600 And it's chilly in there.

00:53:36.260 And you just.

00:53:37.760 You got in there, huh?

00:53:39.000 Man.

00:53:39.460 And then you see the little stars on the floor circling around.

00:53:43.760 It was a, it was a vibe.

00:53:45.440 And people were out there.

00:53:46.280 Now, did all the skating, did they have the lights out on the whole time?

00:53:49.520 Or every now and then they put the lights out and let people skate?

00:53:52.460 Like the night, like they had that, like the, you know.

00:53:55.380 The little spotlight thing or the little stars and stuff.

00:53:57.860 Yeah, I think they maybe cut it on, cut all the lights on.

00:54:01.720 I guess at the very end to be like, it was basically a club for kids, you know.

00:54:05.360 But, but it would be a, a, a pretty, pretty dark on the, not too dark, but.

00:54:11.320 You know what I mean?

00:54:12.660 Like, yeah.

00:54:13.260 And you get out there and you got to wait and just like double dutch and get in there

00:54:17.120 and just start coasting. 0.99

00:54:18.400 Then you go out there and bust your ass a few times and then. 1.00

00:54:20.920 Yeah. 1.00

00:54:21.460 You know, somebody sees you.

00:54:23.500 And then George Michael, they would play George Michael sometimes too.

00:54:26.420 A lot of George Michael.

00:54:27.280 And a lot of.

00:54:27.960 Billy Idol. 0.98

00:54:28.600 Gay dudes would kind of sneak out there. 0.97

00:54:30.160 Billy Joel. 0.98

00:54:31.300 You'd see like kids you didn't know was gay or their brothers was coming out. 0.97

00:54:34.480 You were like, damn, this seemed like a different energy out here. 0.98

00:54:37.520 A couple of new guys out here. 0.98

00:54:39.080 Yeah.

00:54:39.340 Some grownups out here.

00:54:40.460 What are they doing?

00:54:41.200 Yeah.

00:54:41.420 Like they aren't all the way growing up.

00:54:43.240 Why is Petey's stepdad out here suddenly, bro?

00:54:45.520 He got his shirt off, dog.

00:54:46.860 Yeah.

00:54:47.040 It's a 23 year old.

00:54:48.140 He has like a home tattoo.

00:54:50.920 Yeah.

00:54:51.880 He has like a.

00:54:53.240 We had a girl. 1.00

00:54:53.980 One time I saw a girl had that pussy smoke tattooed on her. 1.00

00:54:57.460 Damn. 1.00

00:54:57.700 That really made me think about everything. 0.99

00:55:02.040 Right.

00:55:02.980 What was she? 0.85

00:55:03.680 What was they doing?

00:55:04.760 What was she on?

00:55:05.600 I don't know.

00:55:06.380 She worked at a Schlotzky's over there.

00:55:07.960 You ever heard of that place?

00:55:08.860 Schlotzky's?

00:55:09.020 Schlotzky's the sandwiches.

00:55:10.600 Yeah.

00:55:10.900 I used to.

00:55:11.280 I used to get the everything bagel and then I'd get like everything in it.

00:55:16.020 I'd get some corned beef, hash, roast beef, ham, turkey.

00:55:20.600 Yeah, bro.

00:55:21.100 The lettuce.

00:55:22.600 I don't even normally get mustard, but I get regular mustard in there.

00:55:26.580 Spice it up.

00:55:27.500 God.

00:55:28.680 Yeah.

00:55:28.940 Dude, I think I just realized if a bunch of people beat the fuck out of me, if they said 0.55

00:55:32.940 some of my favorite foods while they were punching me, I don't think I would mind it 0.95

00:55:35.760 that much.

00:55:36.760 You know? 1.00

00:55:37.160 If they were like, creme brulee, bitch. 1.00

00:55:39.700 I'd be like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:55:40.940 But yes, I like it. 1.00

00:55:42.260 Okay.

00:55:42.840 You know?

00:55:43.840 Yeah.

00:55:44.300 I was just trying to think about that, man.

00:55:48.200 Has a girl ever punched you? 1.00

00:55:50.600 Oh, I'll tell you this, dude.

00:55:52.780 So I was in love.

00:55:53.680 I don't know if I was in love with this girl, but we were, you know, we were kids and we 0.99

00:55:58.200 were fucking. 0.98

00:55:59.180 Okay. 1.00

00:55:59.460 You know?

00:56:00.840 And she found out I met, I fell in love with another girl and she found out about it and

00:56:09.080 she came up and ran up to me one time when I was with the other girl and she hit me. 1.00

00:56:15.600 And I didn't know what to do, bro, so I fucking fell down. 0.98

00:56:18.940 Okay. 0.99

00:56:19.640 It was kind of like delayed though, like she hit me and then I kind of was like, oh shit. 0.99

00:56:24.620 Because I was like, if I stay up, I got to deal with her and her standing right here 0.99

00:56:28.760 arguing.

00:56:29.820 Yeah.

00:56:30.020 The best thing I can do right now is kind of fall down.

00:56:33.040 Because then at least it's like, hey, I'm taking, I'm out of here.

00:56:36.080 Yeah.

00:56:36.540 You know?

00:56:37.480 I fell down.

00:56:38.980 I'm not answering any questions.

00:56:40.400 Oh, bro, I was horrible.

00:56:41.060 I was pretending like I was unconscious.

00:56:42.680 That was the craziest part.

00:56:43.980 But it's a good way to do it.

00:56:46.700 I guess you could have ran.

00:56:47.420 She didn't hit me hard.

00:56:48.620 You could have just ran.

00:56:49.240 Yeah.

00:56:49.360 Running would have been crazy though. 1.00

00:56:51.300 You're like, ah shit, I'm fucked up. 1.00

00:56:53.300 Call me. 1.00

00:56:54.660 Which one of us?

00:56:55.620 Just run.

00:56:56.840 No, nothing else.

00:57:01.140 Yeah, man.

00:57:01.860 That was the girl. 0.91

00:57:02.520 I lost my virginity to that girl, bro, behind a bowling alley over there.

00:57:06.120 The first one?

00:57:07.080 Yeah.

00:57:07.500 The punch.

00:57:08.520 The punch.

00:57:09.240 Yeah, the fighter.

00:57:11.200 She must have liked it.

00:57:12.160 Did you talk to her after that?

00:57:13.980 Yeah, I just got a text from her the other day, man.

00:57:16.060 Really?

00:57:16.580 Yeah, we had some issues later on.

00:57:18.640 Oh. 0.99

00:57:19.120 We ended up splitting up a couple times, putting air in each other's shampoos and shit. 0.98

00:57:23.000 Oh, that's a different way to interact. 0.99

00:57:24.200 We was looking for a court date.

00:57:25.600 Way to interact.

00:57:26.500 We were looking for a court date.

00:57:28.160 Yeah.

00:57:29.060 You know?

00:57:30.180 But yeah, I lost my virginity over there behind a bowling alley over there.

00:57:33.220 Tiffany Lane's over there.

00:57:34.520 And some kids was throwing rocks at us, bro. 0.99

00:57:36.620 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:57:37.900 Pretty cool. 1.00

00:57:39.040 They were throwing rocks.

00:57:40.420 Yeah.

00:57:40.640 They didn't like it.

00:57:42.020 I don't know.

00:57:42.300 I think they were Christians or whatever.

00:57:43.580 They were just jealous, one or the other.

00:57:44.800 Okay.

00:57:45.460 But it's hard to stay hard when people are throwing rocks at you.

00:57:48.540 Yeah.

00:57:49.180 Especially when you're young.

00:57:50.020 That's a good metaphor for...

00:57:52.000 For life.

00:57:52.680 Yeah.

00:57:53.520 It's hard to stay hard when people are throwing rocks at you.

00:57:57.060 Yeah.

00:57:57.560 Thanks, man.

00:57:58.140 Does coffee sometimes make you feel a little too activated?

00:58:03.500 Sometimes I notice that about coffee.

00:58:05.160 I have, and I'm like, I don't...

00:58:06.720 This isn't...

00:58:08.420 It's got me feeling more anxious than it does just alert.

00:58:15.660 Well, mud water is different.

00:58:17.860 It's a coffee alternative.

00:58:19.120 And it's, it's, it's providing me with a...

00:58:24.200 It's hard to even explain.

00:58:25.120 It's providing me with just more, feeling more of a comfortable activation.

00:58:31.020 It has four adaptogenic mushrooms.

00:58:33.780 Mud water does.

00:58:34.980 It has Ayurvedic herbs.

00:58:37.120 It has one seventh the caffeine as a cup of coffee.

00:58:40.660 So you get the energy, but without the anxiety jitters or the crash of coffee.

00:58:45.240 Yeah.

00:58:45.380 You just don't...

00:58:45.940 That's what it is.

00:58:46.560 You don't have that edge off that come down.

00:58:48.200 You don't have that, like, grit in your...

00:58:50.860 You know, it's just not too much.

00:58:53.120 It feels more manageable.

00:58:55.000 Each ingredient in mud water was added for a purpose.

00:58:58.720 Cacao and chai for mood.

00:59:00.940 Lion's mane for alertness.

00:59:03.480 Cordyceps to help support physical performance.

00:59:07.100 And it has shaga and reishi to support your immune system.

00:59:10.600 Mud water tastes great.

00:59:13.500 It's Whole30 approved.

00:59:16.720 It has cinnamon in it.

00:59:17.980 I like that.

00:59:18.560 It's got that little hint of cinnamon.

00:59:21.100 It's 100% USDA organic, non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, and kosher.

00:59:26.560 Mud water allows you to build a morning ritual that promotes sustained energy without the crash.

00:59:31.620 That's it.

00:59:32.240 Again, it feels more manageable.

00:59:34.260 Go to mudwater, M-U-D-W-T-R dot com slash Theo to support the show and try something new.

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00:59:45.840 That's M-U-D-W-T-R dot com slash T-H-E-O to support the show and use code Theo for 15% off.

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01:00:25.840 What about you, bro?

01:00:26.940 When did you first get in the sexual world, bro?

01:00:28.980 Did you first have a real interest in it?

01:00:32.420 Man, I was so much into basketball.

01:00:35.100 But you had to stop and get into sex even for a halftime or something.

01:00:38.100 It was like after I was done playing basketball.

01:00:43.680 I was like, how old was I?

01:00:47.820 20? 1.00

01:00:48.800 Damn. 1.00

01:00:49.760 Did you break your heart? 1.00

01:00:51.660 No.

01:00:52.920 You broke her heart?

01:00:54.300 No. 1.00

01:00:54.880 Oh, damn. 1.00

01:00:56.720 Y'all just sit in it. 1.00

01:00:57.700 It just...

01:00:58.040 I didn't know who it was.

01:00:59.020 You didn't?

01:01:00.040 No.

01:01:00.620 Wow.

01:01:02.860 Y'all just met somewhere?

01:01:04.400 It was like a dark area?

01:01:07.480 I think...

01:01:08.660 I think...

01:01:10.660 It was like the first time I got drunk, I think.

01:01:18.440 I didn't get drunk or smoke weed.

01:01:21.060 Oh, really?

01:01:21.900 Or have sex until I was 20. 0.96

01:01:23.320 Wow. 0.97

01:01:25.120 Was you real...

01:01:27.020 Man, I thought I was...

01:01:29.700 If my friends would be in the car smoking weed, I'd put the window down.

01:01:34.240 I was a basketball...

01:01:37.300 I wanted to be in...

01:01:38.300 Oh, wow.

01:01:39.000 Yeah, I'm going to see how far I could go.

01:01:40.760 And I think when I stopped playing basketball, or I started...

01:01:44.660 I stopped being...

01:01:46.300 Because I was playing for a college.

01:01:48.620 Uh-huh.

01:01:48.920 And then it's always been, if the coach loves me, and I'm getting playing time, then I'm great.

01:01:58.600 If somehow the coach don't like me, and I'm on the bench, I'm gone.

01:02:06.300 Because I can already see it.

01:02:08.000 And this coach...

01:02:09.560 It was game...

01:02:10.980 We had just had...

01:02:12.980 We had been practicing.

01:02:14.980 You know, you practice, practice, practice, practice.

01:02:16.500 Early morning practice.

01:02:17.460 They have two-a-days, get up at 6 a.m., then you have 4 o'clock, whatever it is.

01:02:21.540 And we're doing all these practices.

01:02:23.160 And then the day before our first game, he brings everybody to the gym.

01:02:28.680 And we're sitting down.

01:02:31.320 And he's like, now y'all can't be...

01:02:33.540 It's like 6 a.m.

01:02:34.260 Y'all can't be telling other people and people around campus that you got a scholarship here.

01:02:42.600 Or that you're here on a full ride.

01:02:46.580 Or that you're doing this and bragging about this.

01:02:49.840 And you're drinking and partying and expect to be playing.

01:02:55.620 I'm just like...

01:02:56.540 I'm sitting there the whole time.

01:02:58.460 Mind you, I haven't drank.

01:02:59.440 I haven't done anything.

01:03:01.260 And it's like, Simcoe, they've been telling me that...

01:03:05.880 A few of our players have been telling me that you're going around telling people you got a full ride scholarship.

01:03:12.320 And you're going to be starting.

01:03:14.020 And that you've been...

01:03:15.580 He's from Minnesota.

01:03:16.300 I don't know why he has a Texas accent.

01:03:18.240 But he's also...

01:03:18.960 Yeah, but who knows?

01:03:19.500 Maybe he travels when he's younger.

01:03:20.640 Yeah.

01:03:21.000 And then he's like...

01:03:22.280 And telling people you have a scholarship and you're going to be starting.

01:03:25.580 If I hear any more of that, you're going to be on the bench for the whole year.

01:03:32.180 To me.

01:03:33.220 And I'm looking around.

01:03:34.060 I'm like, which one of you...

01:03:35.500 And I was about to be starting.

01:03:36.760 Oh.

01:03:37.280 And then, so when I heard that, I was like, this isn't good. 0.99

01:03:42.740 Damn. 0.99

01:03:43.580 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:44.100 And so you left it.

01:03:45.300 No.

01:03:45.680 So then right after that, we had a game that night.

01:03:48.100 And he didn't start me.

01:03:49.260 But I had been starting it the whole time in practice.

01:03:52.120 So then, go to the game.

01:03:55.260 And I had...

01:03:56.000 And he put me in, like, in the second half.

01:03:57.940 And I think I had, like, 15 points.

01:03:59.940 All in the second half.

01:04:01.020 He didn't even play anywhere else.

01:04:01.840 But let me start the second half.

01:04:03.120 So I was like, okay, this is where I just proved that I can do this.

01:04:05.900 Because we have another game.

01:04:06.840 We have, like, a tournament the next day.

01:04:08.360 Because it's early in the season.

01:04:09.460 So I had, like, 15 points on the second half.

01:04:12.000 So I'm like, okay, well, he obviously sees if I played the whole game,

01:04:15.320 I would have had 30 points.

01:04:16.420 Right.

01:04:17.780 15 points.

01:04:20.140 Next day, we go to Michigan.

01:04:21.880 We had a tournament.

01:04:24.080 Bench the whole time.

01:04:25.180 Puts me in the last three seconds.

01:04:26.580 It's freezing cold.

01:04:27.540 We drove on the bus from Minnesota to Michigan.

01:04:30.240 It's an eight-hour drive or something.

01:04:32.340 And we're all the way over there.

01:04:34.180 It's freezing.

01:04:34.920 It's icy roads.

01:04:36.060 I played, like, the last three seconds of the first game.

01:04:39.320 But then we had another game that night.

01:04:42.420 Didn't play me the entire game.

01:04:44.200 I was like, as soon as I get back, I'm done, man.

01:04:46.160 And that was it.

01:04:46.780 Because I did everything I could.

01:04:48.120 Right.

01:04:49.140 And it wasn't good enough for, you know what I mean?

01:04:51.560 I can't deal with someone controlling my outcome.

01:04:57.420 Later that night, then I got drunk. 1.00

01:05:00.740 Damn. 0.99

01:05:02.520 Bro, that's funny, bro. 1.00

01:05:03.700 Yeah, I don't like having someone having control over my outcome, man.

01:05:07.260 I don't like to be the one that determines what happens to me.

01:05:10.300 I think that's why a lot of people end up, like, leaving a job that was paying a lot of money, but they had somebody telling them what to do 24-7.

01:05:20.180 Or having too much power over them, and they're under their thumb, and they're dictating their life.

01:05:30.200 That's not good for anybody.

01:05:32.800 If you could go back, would you do it any different?

01:05:34.960 Because sometimes I think that I end up damaging myself by being that way a little, you know?

01:05:40.140 It helps me, and it hurts me, kind of.

01:05:42.260 The main thing, if I did, I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be now.

01:05:46.720 You know what I mean?

01:05:48.160 I wouldn't rather be nowhere else.

01:05:49.620 Gang, baby. 0.75

01:05:50.200 Thanks, bro.

01:05:52.040 But one thing that I do different in the past is I was on Diplo's label, and I wanted to be more free.

01:06:05.200 I wanted to do whatever I want, drop whatever I want.

01:06:07.480 Now, looking back, after Neon Icon, I should have stayed focused and been like, all right, we got to do another project that tops Neon Icon.

01:06:15.620 And I can't drop another project until we top.

01:06:19.620 What we just did.

01:06:20.740 Right.

01:06:21.060 And what ended up happening is I just kept doing what I do, dropping videos, songs, do whatever I want, whenever I want.

01:06:28.440 Right.

01:06:28.700 And if I go back, I would go stick with the script that he had.

01:06:35.820 We're still friends.

01:06:36.660 We're still, you know, my brother works out.

01:06:38.300 Yeah.

01:06:38.740 You know what I mean?

01:06:39.100 But that one thing, and spend more time with Jody Husky and taking more places. 0.95

01:06:47.000 Yeah.

01:06:47.380 Probably those things stick out to me most that probably come across my mind, you know.

01:06:52.720 Of things you might try different, might try something different.

01:06:54.900 Yeah, or just pop up in my brain just periodically throughout the week that have popped up in my brain for the last years.

01:07:01.100 Years, you know what I mean? 0.98

01:07:01.980 I got shit like, oh, dude, yeah. 0.99

01:07:03.520 Like, oh. 1.00

01:07:03.900 I got shit like that. 0.99

01:07:04.980 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:05.380 I got little skeletons that come by.

01:07:07.420 What, what, do you have anything that you would, you would change in your life?

01:07:09.820 Yeah, I think I would probably let, I would trust other people more.

01:07:14.880 I would trust, like, you know, I never wanted to have a manager or anything like that, you know.

01:07:20.700 I never really worked well with it.

01:07:23.060 So I think there's times when I probably could do a little better if I trust other people.

01:07:27.700 And just believe, hey, maybe these people do have some of my best interests at heart.

01:07:32.680 They're not just trying to get money or get up on me or something like that or, you know, or take advantage of me.

01:07:39.440 I think it goes back to old scripts from when I was a kid, probably when I thought that somebody in a superior position, I didn't trust them.

01:07:46.900 And so it's just old, it's just reading the old newspaper sometimes, you know, so.

01:07:53.360 I think you're on, no, I've even to this day had, you know, like gone through exactly what you're saying.

01:08:02.100 But what I've learned now, even within the last, like, little bit of time is like, yeah, you're going to have to trust somebody.

01:08:09.100 But you don't have to trust anybody to, with your money.

01:08:15.480 Like if it's a manager or whoever's going to help, then do that.

01:08:18.520 But you don't need to be in control of my money because then eventually that turned into power over your life.

01:08:23.720 Oh, interesting.

01:08:24.220 So if you wanted to be able to trust your accountant.

01:08:26.360 Right, right.

01:08:28.120 And luckily I can trust mine.

01:08:29.880 You know what I mean?

01:08:30.680 Because everybody can't trust theirs. 0.99

01:08:32.060 And that, you know, my accountant saved my life.

01:08:33.960 Wow.

01:08:34.480 Yeah.

01:08:35.360 He told you, hey, you got to put the brakes on right here.

01:08:37.180 He said, look at, hey, Riff, I need to talk to you.

01:08:42.580 Look at this, this, this, this.

01:08:43.960 And I come over there.

01:08:46.660 Okay.

01:08:47.440 You know what I mean?

01:08:48.500 Because everybody ain't going to show you.

01:08:50.560 Because some people are going to be on the other side.

01:08:52.780 You see the thing with Britney Spears?

01:08:54.640 Like she couldn't even pick her lawyer.

01:08:56.300 So if the lawyers are on the side with whoever's controlling her, then she has no hope.

01:09:01.800 But if that lawyer said, you know what?

01:09:03.180 You can do this, this, this.

01:09:04.340 You don't got to deal with this.

01:09:05.420 Then now one person could help that and fix all that. 0.58

01:09:08.520 But if you got everybody playing against you, now you're screwed.

01:09:12.820 And it's tough, I bet, at her level because you don't know who to trust then.

01:09:16.660 And if you don't have power over your life. 0.99

01:09:19.180 Damn. 1.00

01:09:19.500 Then you're basically just like a white tiger in a cage. 1.00

01:09:24.680 Go make the money.

01:09:26.040 All right, you're done.

01:09:26.720 Go back in here.

01:09:27.420 Click.

01:09:27.700 Yeah.

01:09:28.180 Click, click.

01:09:29.120 All right, cut off light.

01:09:29.840 She needs to rest.

01:09:30.540 Oh, you need to rest.

01:09:31.640 Yeah.

01:09:31.900 Cool, let's go count this money.

01:09:34.340 But.

01:09:34.900 And they put your little money in there with your food.

01:09:36.760 Here's your money right here.

01:09:37.480 Look, look, here's your money right here. 1.00

01:09:38.620 And you a fucking tiger. 1.00

01:09:39.580 You can't even spend no money. 1.00

01:09:40.860 Yeah, you're going to buy some damn Frosted Flakes. 1.00

01:09:43.180 Oh, no, damn, bro. 1.00

01:09:44.660 Before you go, if you did, if, if you did get into politics, though, what would you do 0.99

01:09:51.580 you think about some of these gas prices, man?

01:09:53.500 Honestly, bro.

01:09:55.600 Could you, you think you could do something?

01:09:58.900 Well, I heard.

01:09:59.960 We need a savior.

01:10:01.020 I heard that the.

01:10:03.600 And I forget where I heard this or maybe I just saw it on Instagram, which, again, goes

01:10:07.640 back to the rumors.

01:10:08.680 Oh, yeah.

01:10:09.160 Who knows what?

01:10:10.780 But I heard that the gas isn't disappearing.

01:10:13.280 People can, oh, they've been making the same process of, like, making, turning whatever.

01:10:17.900 I don't know how it works.

01:10:19.600 Drilling for oil or whatever or turning something into.

01:10:23.760 You can make your own gas.

01:10:25.140 We had a guy by us that made his own gas, but it burned off a lot of his skin on his,

01:10:30.440 what was his arms maybe, or legs.

01:10:32.620 He had big arms.

01:10:33.840 Okay.

01:10:34.300 And small legs, so it's easy to.

01:10:36.440 Singe those puppies. 1.00

01:10:37.660 Well, easy to get it confused when you're looking at him.

01:10:40.720 Who's doing handstands? 0.99

01:10:41.560 I mean, he went fucking, dude. 0.99

01:10:43.320 Well, bro, he had this one dude, Mr. Polito, bro. 1.00

01:10:45.720 He fucking made his own gas, bro. 0.99

01:10:47.740 And he actually died. 1.00

01:10:48.960 They fucking threw him in a ditch fire, bro. 1.00

01:10:51.240 Why? 1.00

01:10:51.780 And he died.

01:10:52.440 I don't know why.

01:10:53.480 I didn't know him that good.

01:10:55.280 I think there's other things probably that could, like, you can't run off water, right?

01:11:02.140 Well, they say you can't, but we don't have a lot of proof that you can't.

01:11:05.160 I mean, I just feel like if there was a way to, you know, you could do solar power energy

01:11:09.720 for houses.

01:11:10.840 Yeah.

01:11:11.280 Put all them solar panels on houses.

01:11:12.680 Why can't you do that for the cars?

01:11:14.940 I agree.

01:11:16.220 Or even if it's an old car, put the solar panels on and get a system cranked in there and, like,

01:11:21.300 I feel like there's got to be a better way than gasoline. 0.99

01:11:25.320 Gasoline is dangerous as fuck. 0.99

01:11:26.840 I don't even like to cook with gas. 0.99

01:11:29.040 If it goes tick, tick, tick, I'm opening up all the windows.

01:11:32.320 I'm opening up all the windows and I'm ordering McDonald's and I'm not even eating it.

01:11:36.440 I'm just going to put it there on the table.

01:11:40.000 Yeah, bro. 0.99

01:11:40.740 Oh, I turn in a damn Bruce Willis. 1.00

01:11:42.420 Every time they start that bitch, I turn in. 1.00

01:11:44.280 I don't like it. 1.00

01:11:45.260 I back away, bro.

01:11:46.460 Oh, this has gas, so it's even better.

01:11:48.780 Hold on.

01:11:49.080 Wait, stop.

01:11:49.840 No, it's not better.

01:11:51.240 I'm lying.

01:11:51.720 The craziest thing is somebody will start to tick, tick, tick.

01:11:53.780 Then they'll start telling you a story, bro, and they won't even.

01:11:56.820 I'm looking at the windows. 1.00

01:11:57.920 Like, damn, bro. 0.99

01:11:58.960 Open up every window and turn on every fan. 1.00

01:12:01.660 Man, people just don't want their life.

01:12:03.520 Some people don't want their life.

01:12:04.640 I think some people just generally don't care.

01:12:07.460 Or maybe they aren't even thinking about it because they're so stressed out and excited

01:12:10.340 of what they got to deal with to fix what's going on.

01:12:15.280 That bad, just the software.

01:12:17.880 I got that shaky software, man.

01:12:19.360 I got it.

01:12:20.220 Is that, you know, is that the system that we're placing to be stressed out?

01:12:24.900 No. 0.95

01:12:25.120 I think everybody needs to spread the fuck out. 0.94

01:12:27.200 You think so? 0.94

01:12:27.980 I think that, really?

01:12:30.320 I don't know.

01:12:31.100 But I'm not saying, I just, I don't know.

01:12:33.280 I feel like if I get by myself too much, then I get real lonely.

01:12:37.280 Okay.

01:12:37.820 But then also, if you get in, you're at New York.

01:12:41.220 I can't live in there.

01:12:42.160 You got to, it's like.

01:12:44.720 Everybody.

01:12:45.280 Oh, yeah.

01:12:45.760 You can't even.

01:12:46.280 It's the bottom of the barrel.

01:12:46.940 You start eating.

01:12:47.480 Somebody will finish your applesauce for you, right?

01:12:49.180 You know?

01:12:50.680 Yeah.

01:12:51.180 So.

01:12:52.300 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:12:53.000 You halfway through some motherfuckers. 1.00

01:12:54.700 I'm about to slice the damn aluminum moths tag and go fucking pawn it before you can 1.00

01:13:01.580 even finish your Tupperware sauce. 0.99

01:13:04.080 Dude, you kind of like me in a lot with nostalgia, man.

01:13:06.500 You love nostalgia.

01:13:08.100 Why do you think it is?

01:13:08.960 It's just installed in my brain.

01:13:09.720 And it's in my, you know, that first 10 years of my life.

01:13:12.760 It's, it's there.

01:13:14.340 It's just there.

01:13:15.940 You love it.

01:13:16.900 Man, it's, it's, it's, I've run off of it.

01:13:20.520 Yeah.

01:13:21.020 You know?

01:13:21.520 It's fascinating.

01:13:22.300 I do.

01:13:22.500 Man, I love thinking about the past.

01:13:24.440 I love thinking about moments from when I was young.

01:13:26.700 And why it impact me.

01:13:28.060 And what, what, like, yeah, definitely.

01:13:29.860 And the simplicity of things and how I was thinking and feeling.

01:13:34.440 A song, a smell will bring you back there.

01:13:37.340 Or like.

01:13:37.720 A slow dance.

01:13:38.760 Bro, you ever remember doing a slow dance at school or nothing?

01:13:41.600 I remember slow dances. 0.99

01:13:43.420 Damn. 0.99

01:13:43.860 I don't think I ever did a slow dance. 0.99

01:13:45.820 With Boyz II Men or something?

01:13:48.060 Something like that.

01:13:49.080 What else would they play?

01:13:50.460 Yeah, some Boyz II Men.

01:13:51.760 Man, you really loved basketball.

01:13:53.840 You loved it that much, huh?

01:13:56.040 I love music, too, though.

01:13:57.860 Yeah.

01:13:58.120 I remember listening, my mom listening to Material Girl in the car.

01:14:02.100 And I'm like, turn this one up.

01:14:03.440 And then after that, change the station.

01:14:05.540 And it's, jump, jump.

01:14:07.100 Chris Grasso, who's this?

01:14:08.780 Oh, it's these little kids that are rappers. 1.00

01:14:10.920 That shit was good, bro. 1.00

01:14:12.800 I had backwards everything on that point, bro. 1.00

01:14:14.840 I put backwards pant, backwards shoe, people.

01:14:17.300 Couldn't run, couldn't walk.

01:14:18.540 Couldn't even make it to school anymore, bro. 0.99

01:14:20.540 All my shit was on backwards. 0.99

01:14:21.140 People would be wearing backwards jabots. 1.00

01:14:24.000 Oh.

01:14:25.120 Skids.

01:14:25.440 Skids were nice, bro.

01:14:26.460 Especially when they came out with the African cut.

01:14:28.460 Did you ever have those skids?

01:14:31.060 Uh-uh.

01:14:31.520 Pants?

01:14:32.420 Uh-uh.

01:14:33.200 That must have been a Texas thing or Florida thing. 0.92

01:14:37.100 Powell Peralta?

01:14:39.000 Skateboards?

01:14:39.560 We had Jimmy Z shirts.

01:14:41.800 That was Jimmy Z, I think it was.

01:14:43.620 Jimmy Z.

01:14:44.320 Or Varnette.

01:14:46.060 Okay, Varnette.

01:14:46.820 We had Varnette.

01:14:47.420 You know, Gekko and Quicksilver.

01:14:50.980 Quicksilver barely made it by us, bro.

01:14:52.980 Okay, gotcha.

01:14:54.620 Nope, we didn't have it.

01:14:56.480 Jabot was huge, bro.

01:14:57.800 People had Jabot, Hilfiger.

01:14:59.460 Did you ever, was there a Miller's Outpost?

01:15:02.720 No, that was in Arizona, I think, wasn't it?

01:15:05.240 Miller's Outpost.

01:15:07.220 We didn't have that.

01:15:08.120 We had a lot of Reebok. 0.99

01:15:09.380 People were wearing shit that said Reebok. 1.00

01:15:10.880 We had people who would just paint Reebok on their shit. 1.00

01:15:13.200 Okay. 0.99

01:15:14.180 You know, a lot of people still made their own clothes bus and stuff like that.

01:15:17.320 We'd have a dude and his sister.

01:15:19.300 You could see their mom got a pattern of fabric or something,

01:15:21.700 and they'd both be wearing like a purple silk or something.

01:15:24.360 My mom made me a shirt one time, a Hawaiian shirt.

01:15:27.840 She would make some, like, that type of, not those colors, 0.93

01:15:32.040 but, like, one of those type of styles. 0.99

01:15:33.960 Damn, that's cool, man. 0.96

01:15:36.080 Did anybody ever make you any clothes? 0.99

01:15:40.160 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:15:41.540 My brother one time made me something for Christmas.

01:15:45.580 He tried to make me something.

01:15:46.880 He tried to make me overalls, bro.

01:15:49.040 Okay.

01:15:49.980 How'd that pan out? 0.99

01:15:52.060 It looked like a fucking. 1.00

01:15:54.360 Bro, it was like a denim thong, bro. 1.00

01:15:58.100 That bitch just went right up around my ass and on each shoulder, bro. 1.00

01:16:01.980 He got you. 1.00

01:16:02.780 Oh, I was scared he wanted to fuck, bro. 1.00

01:16:05.140 Damn. 1.00

01:16:05.900 Shit broke my heart, dog. 1.00

01:16:07.520 And then I remember thinking he was trying to have sex with me 1.00

01:16:09.840 or, you know, being scared about it,

01:16:11.260 and I would sleep at night.

01:16:12.780 I put a little jingle bell on my body.

01:16:15.000 So you could hear something moving?

01:16:16.080 In case somebody came at me.

01:16:17.300 Yeah, I would hear it.

01:16:18.220 Okay. 1.00

01:16:18.860 Damn, bro. 1.00

01:16:19.580 It's just, I hated going to bed at night, man. 0.99

01:16:22.020 I'd have to set so many traps so nothing got me.

01:16:25.020 Hmm.

01:16:27.320 Yeah.

01:16:27.980 I don't think.

01:16:30.580 Yeah, I'd sleep next to a gun.

01:16:33.020 There you go, bro.

01:16:33.880 I wish I would have.

01:16:34.880 I wish I would have.

01:16:36.640 Now you just sleep in hotels, you're good.

01:16:38.160 Yeah.

01:16:38.680 I get the best sleep in hotels.

01:16:40.760 You think?

01:16:41.360 I don't know why.

01:16:43.520 If the sheets are nice, sometimes you get the sheets as real, you know,

01:16:46.560 the measures are gritty.

01:16:46.800 They're real gritty.

01:16:47.980 Yeah, sometimes they're real gritty, bro. 0.99

01:16:49.520 Like sleeping up under a damn. 0.97

01:16:50.340 I don't like to hear my leg when I move it back and forth under the sheet. 0.98

01:16:53.800 Yeah, I put rain music.

01:16:55.860 Hmm.

01:16:56.360 10 hours of rain. 1.00

01:16:58.520 Damn. 1.00

01:16:59.060 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:59.580 Wake up just soaking wet, bro.

01:17:01.060 Do you listen to anything or just silence?

01:17:04.720 I listen to dead silence, bro, just waiting for God to come get me. 1.00

01:17:07.880 Damn. 1.00

01:17:08.200 It's dark, bro. 1.00

01:17:10.500 It's fucking dark in here, dog. 1.00

01:17:12.260 It's crazy when you and I are talking and you the fucking, dude. 1.00

01:17:15.540 Wait, so what? 1.00

01:17:16.080 I'm grateful, man.

01:17:16.960 You the bright spot.

01:17:17.320 You aren't trying to go 100?

01:17:19.400 I don't, I mean, I just, I can't, you know, I don't, I don't, I haven't slept that well

01:17:25.940 probably in about 17 years.

01:17:29.340 But I'm planning on trying some new stuff, maybe.

01:17:32.080 Yeah.

01:17:32.580 Do you ever, do you ever smoke?

01:17:34.600 Nuh-uh.

01:17:35.080 I only smoke at night.

01:17:36.240 Ooh, does it help?

01:17:37.160 It definitely helps.

01:17:38.580 Only at night, though.

01:17:39.680 Oh, yeah. 0.57

01:17:40.640 I mean, if I don't got shit to do when somebody else is driving, I'll just, I'll just smoke 0.94

01:17:43.600 during the day. 0.68

01:17:44.660 But it, you know, but you ever took a melatonin pills?

01:17:49.220 Yeah.

01:17:49.880 How's that work?

01:17:50.880 It can do pretty good, man.

01:17:51.960 Okay.

01:17:52.540 You should, maybe you should smoke it.

01:17:53.660 I can't see that far.

01:17:54.580 I notice it affects my sight.

01:17:55.940 Oh.

01:17:57.300 Do you, do you wear glasses?

01:17:59.800 I don't wear them that often, so I don't wear them at the daytime.

01:18:02.780 Okay.

01:18:04.020 I got LASIK surgery one time.

01:18:05.780 You did?

01:18:06.580 Best, there's a few life-changing things.

01:18:09.360 I did LASIK surgery.

01:18:10.920 All right.

01:18:12.460 I watched What the Health and I went to, like, physical, like, changes.

01:18:18.000 Like, I mean, not being, having to put contacts in your eyes, you wake up and you're going

01:18:21.500 to the bathroom and you're, like, trying to put something in, it's, like, dry, it's

01:18:24.580 stuck to your finger.

01:18:25.480 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:25.800 One falls out, your entire day is screwed. 0.82

01:18:27.600 People, yeah, somebody, yeah.

01:18:29.200 Play basketball, one falls out, you got to get out of the game.

01:18:31.500 You got to stop it.

01:18:32.460 You got to look for it. 1.00

01:18:33.320 Yeah, all that shit. 1.00

01:18:34.340 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:34.760 Yeah.

01:18:35.260 So, LASIK surgery changed, like.

01:18:36.880 And vegan changed your life?

01:18:38.320 Yeah.

01:18:38.880 Really?

01:18:39.340 Yeah.

01:18:39.720 It changed your life.

01:18:40.500 You speak about it.

01:18:40.700 Physical.

01:18:42.380 Physically changed my, how I feel.

01:18:44.640 I was getting up too late.

01:18:45.680 Yeah, I kept getting up late, I was breaking out, my skin was getting, like, and I was 0.75

01:18:49.220 like, something got changed, you know what I mean? 0.97

01:18:52.340 I had acne so bad, I remember growing up, somebody called me a fucking. 0.98

01:18:55.700 She had showed me the. 0.99

01:18:57.380 She did?

01:18:59.060 It was, like, 4th of July, and I was sitting there, I was eating with my dogs, I was on,

01:19:02.840 like, carnivore diet, it was, like, keto, keto.

01:19:06.320 Keto, keto, yeah, keto meat.

01:19:07.280 So, we were barbecuing, I just moved forward, I was barbecuing every day. 0.99

01:19:09.960 Oh, damn. 0.98

01:19:10.820 Steaks, hamburgers, all this, and it was, like, 4th of July, and then she showed me the documentary, 0.99

01:19:15.340 to what the health.

01:19:16.860 And it changed you?

01:19:18.000 I was about to throw it all away, and I just gave it to the dogs.

01:19:20.880 Stop eating the meat, man.

01:19:22.560 I stopped breaking out crazy.

01:19:23.960 I stopped, I got, I started sleeping better.

01:19:26.240 I stopped being, like, being tired after I eat, having a side cramp after I had a big

01:19:31.360 plate of ribs or something, like, I thought that's just how you felt, you know what I

01:19:35.000 mean?

01:19:35.140 Oh, I'm tired after I eat.

01:19:36.400 Or glazed chicken.

01:19:37.900 You know what I mean?

01:19:38.560 Honey glazed teriyaki with a pineapple on top.

01:19:43.560 Yeah.

01:19:43.920 Yeah, yeah, you're right, though, feeling, yeah, feeling tired after you eat.

01:19:46.720 I was like, oh, this is, I eat, you eat, and then you go to sleep.

01:19:49.560 I was like, that's how it happens, like, oh, I'm tired.

01:19:52.160 The one time I went vegan and started doing that for, like, a couple weeks, I was like,

01:19:55.360 I was eating, and I was like, more energy, I get, actually, more, I get energy, and then

01:19:58.960 I go for a walk, go play basketball, go anything.

01:20:03.460 That's fascinating, man.

01:20:04.480 Yeah, man.

01:20:04.800 It's interesting how much you, in your whole life, you stayed so caring about your, kind of

01:20:10.040 your health and wellness, it seems like, have you always been that way?

01:20:12.520 No.

01:20:13.920 It wasn't until, like, about three years ago, and I watched that.

01:20:20.480 There was a time period, I mean, like.

01:20:22.000 You gave me those mangoes, man.

01:20:23.520 Yeah, I gave you, I think I just started being vegan, pretty much. 0.99

01:20:26.840 Damn. 0.98

01:20:27.540 Yeah, I think, I think, but I had. 0.99

01:20:29.240 And a woman, a young, it was the help of a woman brought that to you.

01:20:33.000 An angel, an earth angel, yeah, came in and changed my life.

01:20:40.120 I know that's right.

01:20:41.420 Have you ever been in love before in your life?

01:20:43.800 Yeah.

01:20:46.700 I'm in love right now.

01:20:47.940 Are you?

01:20:49.000 Yeah.

01:20:49.560 That's good for you, man. 1.00

01:20:50.520 Damn, bro. 1.00

01:20:51.260 Yeah, man, I'm trying to. 0.99

01:20:52.360 Are you really, bro?

01:20:53.020 That's awesome, dog.

01:20:53.820 Thank you. 0.99

01:20:54.660 Damn. 1.00

01:20:55.360 Fuck, bro. 1.00

01:20:56.280 Mm-hmm. 1.00

01:20:57.140 Trying to get things on the right track.

01:21:00.560 Yeah.

01:21:01.280 Move forward the right way.

01:21:02.940 Oh, I was always afraid to say when I was in love, man.

01:21:05.940 But here's the thing, like, you see, like, I think Post Malone just got engaged in the other

01:21:10.660 kid, but you don't got to, like, the more you give the world, the more ammo, especially

01:21:17.260 with online, like, you know what I mean?

01:21:20.180 Yeah.

01:21:21.080 You don't want to.

01:21:22.220 Oh, yeah.

01:21:23.220 You know?

01:21:23.660 Keep some things to yourself.

01:21:24.540 Some people cover their baby's face.

01:21:26.580 They don't want to, you know?

01:21:28.260 And then maybe if they're in that control of the environment, then you don't have to.

01:21:33.700 You don't want to.

01:21:34.680 Then you don't have to.

01:21:35.500 You don't got to tell anybody anything.

01:21:37.640 I could have five kids right now.

01:21:39.900 Nobody, you know what I mean?

01:21:41.380 Yeah.

01:21:41.920 You don't got to tell.

01:21:42.720 You don't owe nobody nothing.

01:21:44.280 Mm-hmm.

01:21:44.840 You know?

01:21:45.440 Especially the world, society.

01:21:47.620 Especially the society this day and age.

01:21:50.360 You ain't got to tell nobody nothing.

01:21:52.120 Yeah, man.

01:21:52.660 It's a...

01:21:53.360 It's an interest in society.

01:21:57.500 Well, man, I don't want to take up too much more of your time, bro.

01:22:00.060 We've gone a bit, you know?

01:22:02.200 Dude, I'm grateful, man.

01:22:03.200 I just like hearing some of the stuff you think about, man.

01:22:06.120 It's interesting.

01:22:07.000 It's different.

01:22:09.420 Yeah.

01:22:10.180 I think too much.

01:22:11.620 You got a lot going on.

01:22:12.380 Do you?

01:22:13.140 I think too much.

01:22:13.440 Is it getting better, though?

01:22:14.580 Yeah.

01:22:15.020 Well, I try to...

01:22:17.200 If it's going...

01:22:18.660 Like I was saying, like looking at myself from the outside, if I'm just sitting there and

01:22:22.100 I'm stewing in my own juices, like...

01:22:25.120 Yeah.

01:22:25.600 That ain't good.

01:22:28.040 And I think somewhere in the Bible it says something about like an idle mind is something.

01:22:31.680 Yeah, devil's.

01:22:32.320 Playground or something like that.

01:22:33.440 Land, yeah.

01:22:33.680 And I think if you just try to...

01:22:36.680 Even...

01:22:37.280 But then...

01:22:38.300 That could be why at night if I'm by myself or whatever, and I end up smoking and listening

01:22:42.780 to music.

01:22:43.880 Do some push-ups.

01:22:45.520 Play with the pups.

01:22:47.240 Yeah.

01:22:47.720 Do something.

01:22:50.180 Make some tempered glass.

01:22:53.920 That's a little dangerous when you're high.

01:22:55.040 No, it's a...

01:22:55.800 Yeah.

01:22:56.420 I like this tent, though.

01:22:57.260 It could be dangerous.

01:22:58.480 I like this tent.

01:22:59.960 It's a nice bronze tent.

01:23:00.840 All right, man.

01:23:01.540 I want to get an Infinity.

01:23:03.780 Mm-hmm.

01:23:04.960 Infinity what?

01:23:06.120 Pool or car?

01:23:07.480 A car, like an old school one.

01:23:09.000 Like that.

01:23:09.200 Oh, yeah.

01:23:09.900 Like a J30 or Q45.

01:23:11.860 Mm-hmm.

01:23:12.020 And then get the cream, pearl paint.

01:23:15.920 Mm-hmm.

01:23:16.320 And then make the tent like this.

01:23:18.980 I seen a dude, this black dude had real cream in it. 0.99

01:23:22.640 He had like, it was like, like a aquarium kind of vibe.

01:23:28.020 And they had real cream.

01:23:29.320 And when he would drive and like put on the brakes, the cream.

01:23:31.760 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:33.140 Oh, fuck that. 1.00

01:23:33.660 Real 2% of that bitch, though. 1.00

01:23:35.560 Yeah, 2% of that. 1.00

01:23:36.420 Yeah.

01:23:36.540 Breast milk.

01:23:37.000 Oh, if it's breast milk.

01:23:39.380 Yeah, if he had a little tap off the back and he rolling over there and getting a cup

01:23:42.780 of day.

01:23:43.040 And then he'd get swoops around.

01:23:44.380 Dude, what if we are in the wrong way, buying all this other goose milk and all of this and

01:23:48.500 animal milk, and we're supposed to be still having breast milk, bro. 0.97

01:23:52.540 There'll be a lot of saggy titties around here. 1.00

01:23:54.820 Well, fuck, boy. 1.00

01:23:56.160 Imagine people beating down their mama's door just to get a sip at night just to be safe 1.00

01:24:00.720 for the morning.

01:24:01.620 She'd probably eventually have to call the cops on you. 1.00

01:24:07.040 But that'd be crazy. 1.00

01:24:07.740 My son's over here trying to suck on my tits again. 1.00

01:24:10.820 I'm sick of his little ass, bro. 1.00

01:24:13.520 Or he ain't even my real son, she might tell him. 1.00

01:24:16.460 Damn. 1.00

01:24:17.000 He over here trying to suck on my tits. 1.00

01:24:19.600 What would the police come and say? 1.00

01:24:21.960 The police, what'd they say?

01:24:24.420 They'd come up.

01:24:26.600 They'd be like,

01:24:28.640 Well, policia. 0.98

01:24:31.240 You know what time it is.

01:24:33.200 Come on.

01:24:34.140 Open up.

01:24:35.180 If he don't get it,

01:24:37.500 we will.

01:24:39.540 And they come over helping.

01:24:40.800 They're in on it.

01:24:41.680 Yeah.

01:24:42.100 Everybody wants it. 1.00

01:24:43.740 Everybody wants that fucking leche con mamas. 1.00

01:24:47.300 Damn, boy. 1.00

01:24:49.320 That dose percent. 1.00

01:24:50.800 Ooh. 1.00

01:24:52.680 Damn, boy. 1.00

01:24:53.340 I fucking dipped my dick in it, bro. 1.00

01:24:55.280 That shit would probably... 1.00

01:24:56.240 Because imagine all the things mother's milk could do, man. 1.00

01:24:58.440 I can't believe we forgot about it.

01:24:59.440 I don't know what it does.

01:24:59.880 I don't know the science behind it.

01:25:01.540 I mean, I know, like, babies get it, and that's all they need, right?

01:25:05.640 Right.

01:25:06.260 Apparently.

01:25:06.780 Yeah, imagine if we kept having it.

01:25:08.860 But that's the thing.

01:25:09.760 Mothers get kind of greedy. 1.00

01:25:10.800 They put that...

01:25:11.360 They stop it after a couple months or whatever.

01:25:13.400 Body shuts it down, says, uh-uh, it's out of season.

01:25:16.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:18.180 Wait till August, baby.

01:25:20.300 We'll see you at Starbucks.

01:25:21.440 Thanks.

01:25:24.040 That's a wrap.

01:25:26.960 That's a wrap, man.

01:25:29.200 Riff, thanks so much, man.

01:25:31.400 Hey, so you talked a little while ago about doing a podcast, man.

01:25:33.980 If you do one, can I be your first guest, man?

01:25:36.620 I think it's only right.

01:25:38.320 Gotta have you...

01:25:39.440 We gotta do it big.

01:25:41.140 I'd love to.

01:25:41.980 We gotta do it.

01:25:42.900 Oh, I don't know if you do things any other way, man, but I would like to...

01:25:46.800 I don't want to say I want to be your first guest.

01:25:48.220 I would like to be a guest.

01:25:49.200 No, you gotta be the first guest, and we're gonna...

01:25:52.920 It's like the president thing, because if you don't walk me all the way through it

01:25:57.900 and through the White House doors, I don't know where I'm going. 0.99

01:26:02.300 I'll end up over there with a fucking... 0.99

01:26:04.780 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:26:05.560 You could do anything.

01:26:06.560 You could end up over there and...

01:26:07.780 I'll end up over there with Bob Barker playing Plinko, making my own Plinko chips out

01:26:14.600 of them.

01:26:14.940 solder grass and caramel, two-by-fours with the cookie cutter, sawing it out, dunking

01:26:24.060 those down, and some type of formaldehyde, stain those.

01:26:30.600 Oh, fresh.

01:26:31.760 Put a...

01:26:32.580 Cherry's Jubilee on it.

01:26:34.180 Yeah, nice cherry glaze.

01:26:36.280 Mm-hmm.

01:26:37.360 Nice cherry chupacabra.

01:26:38.660 Mm.

01:26:39.020 I'll be outdoors, bro. 0.99

01:26:42.840 When I die, I want them to throw me out of a plane, bro, and see if I hit somebody on 0.99

01:26:46.200 the ground. 1.00

01:26:46.940 Damn. 1.00

01:26:48.860 Dude, you gotta stop talking about that. 1.00

01:26:51.300 We're staying to 100.

01:26:52.800 Okay, okay.

01:26:53.680 100 it is, bro.

01:26:54.640 100.

01:26:54.820 I'm in, dog.

01:26:55.680 100 it is.

01:26:56.480 We're going for 100.

01:26:57.360 All right, man.

01:26:58.020 But as long as we start your pod before then, bro.

01:27:00.200 For sure.

01:27:00.900 All right.

01:27:01.540 I'd love to...

01:27:02.020 For 100.

01:27:02.380 I'd love to help, man.

01:27:03.360 All right.

01:27:03.800 Get it going.

01:27:05.080 Bro, thank you so much, man.

01:27:06.440 Great to see you and spend time with you, dog.

01:27:08.380 You seem like you're doing good, man.

01:27:10.000 All right.

01:27:11.340 All right.

01:27:12.080 Okay.

01:27:12.340 Moving on up.

01:27:13.760 Amen.

01:27:14.340 Riff Raff, ladies and gentlemen.

01:27:15.500 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:27:22.460 I must be cornerstone.

01:27:25.680 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll

01:27:43.140 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to

01:27:47.840 pleasure your partner.

01:27:49.400 The answer may shock you.

01:27:51.120 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:27:53.180 Sometimes I won't.

01:27:54.040 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:27:57.800 You have three new voice messages.

01:28:00.840 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:28:03.720 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.

01:28:08.000 So great.

01:28:09.380 Hi.

01:28:10.020 Swaya.

01:28:11.040 Easy deal. 1.00

01:28:12.360 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:28:16.320 Jermaine. 0.99

01:28:17.600 Hi.

01:28:18.440 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:28:21.200 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:28:23.080 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:28:28.200 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:28:32.340 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:28:36.580 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube,

01:28:41.720 yeah?

01:28:42.360 And yes, don't worry.

01:28:43.600 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

01:28:45.440 Thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 12, 2022

E400 Riff Raff

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