This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E419 Gangsgiving

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00:01:36.580 Gang, baby. 0.75

00:01:39.640 Gang, baby. 0.75

00:01:43.480 Gang. 0.66

00:01:44.840 Triple gang.

00:01:45.900 Boy, we got to hear triple gangin'. 0.66

00:01:47.960 Getting ready for gang's giving, son.

00:01:51.740 Happy day to everybody.

00:01:56.600 Happy day to everybody.

00:01:59.220 I hope somebody, I hope you woke up today and somebody loved you.

00:02:05.440 And you know who I really hope, I hope, I hope, I hope it was yourself.

00:02:10.460 Because that's the, that's the kicker.

00:02:15.540 You know, I meet a stranger, you know, I hug them. 1.00

00:02:18.960 You have somebody, you know, fuck, I'll dang hug, I'll hug a dang hitchhiker. 0.99

00:02:25.000 You know, I'll put, if there was a hitchhiker and he put his hands in his pockets, I'd put my hand in his pockets. 1.00

00:02:30.780 At the same time.

00:02:33.920 Just play hot pocket in there, no, no, no rubbing or nothing, just be there with him.

00:02:40.460 You know, because you don't know a hitchhiker until you've, you know, walked a dang, or handed a mile in his pockets, you know.

00:02:50.200 It's like, I'm just saying it could be a hitchhiker and I'll go, I'll stand, you know, I'll hug him, I'll hug him fast.

00:02:56.580 Because they're dirty, they got a lot of that interstate dust, you know.

00:03:00.740 A lot of, um, those big trucks throw up a bunch of dirt. 0.98

00:03:06.120 And if you're right there hitchhiking, baby, a lot of it damn get lodged on you.

00:03:11.380 You'll have a sand dune of just, of just cigarette ash and interstate dirt just lodged, you know, in the, in the, in the crevasse of your neck.

00:03:23.700 If you're out there hitchhiking.

00:03:29.580 But, you know, I'm amazed sometimes at my ability to be loving towards strangers.

00:03:35.120 But then lacking that same, um, that same compassion for myself or sometimes for people that are close to me.

00:03:48.740 You know, it's like, I'll give a, you know, I'll take my chances on a stranger.

00:03:57.060 The devil's Rochambeau, baby, a hitchhiker.

00:03:59.860 However, I'll take my chances out there.

00:04:05.340 Before I'll do a, before I'll easily, you know, um, what are we talking about?

00:04:13.340 Uh, oh, loving.

00:04:16.520 Before I'll be loving to, to someone who is already close to me or is built, is my family a lot of times.

00:04:22.240 It's been in my past.

00:04:24.100 And that's not my present.

00:04:27.400 Uh, but it has been my past.

00:04:30.500 Um, anyway, not, not a downer there, just interesting. 0.99

00:04:34.120 And it's that time of year, you know, to really, you know, it's that damn time of year to damn, I mean, kiss grandma. 1.00

00:04:43.520 Kiss that bitch in the kitchen, you know, just, and I don't even, look, if she's had a glass of wine, put a damn blindfold on grandma. 1.00

00:04:51.520 And damn kiss her. 1.00

00:04:54.960 Put a, say, look, what was grandpa's favorite song? 1.00

00:04:58.840 Put that bitch on. 1.00

00:05:01.320 And lock on her. 1.00

00:05:03.280 Don't be perving out on her. 0.86

00:05:05.960 Don't be trying to touch all in her slip or, or, uh, you know, or damn split a thing of dentine with her, whatever, uh, effedent or whatever it's called effort dent. 0.94

00:05:19.980 Don't try to, don't be, don't get all pervacious. 0.58

00:05:25.420 But I think, look, if you want to put on your, sneak on your granddaddy's favorite shirt, if he's passed away, I mean.

00:05:33.640 And put a blindfold on grandma, slow dance in the kitchen. 1.00

00:05:38.580 Let her put her head on your chest. 1.00

00:05:40.120 Just be that, say, hey, I know you missed grandpa.

00:05:43.200 Let me, could I, could I slow dance with you for a minute?

00:05:46.740 No touching.

00:05:47.440 And I just want you to put a little old spice in that, uh, make you a little pond of, you know, where your clavicle makes that little pond right there on your neck. 0.89

00:05:58.560 If you're hungry, if you leaned out, you can get that little, you make your little puddle right there. 0.99

00:06:04.220 Put your little old spice in that bitch. 1.00

00:06:08.100 And get grandma out there in the kitchen, dance with her. 1.00

00:06:10.500 Do something for somebody, you know, that's what I want to do.

00:06:17.420 Little things.

00:06:18.460 See my sister, give her a hug.

00:06:22.440 Text my brother in the morning, telling him, telling him I love him.

00:06:26.160 No reason at all.

00:06:27.360 Just a simple, the simple fact that he, that he graced my heart, that the idea of him, that he visited just my brain.

00:06:40.900 You know, it's not, it's, you know.

00:06:43.620 So I hope, yeah, I hope, and not everybody has a family member.

00:06:46.920 And I hope that you do have somebody that you, that you love, or that loves you, or that you're able to love yourself on this holiday time.

00:06:58.600 Because we need it, and it's tough, and it is what it is, baby.

00:07:04.560 But I'm so grateful to be sitting here with you, and we got a nice little episode here.

00:07:09.800 And, um, and yeah, I'm just feeling full, man.

00:07:13.220 I'm feeling full of hope.

00:07:17.740 As much as I don't want to be, sometimes I don't want to be hopeful.

00:07:25.440 You know, there's a part of me, there's a part of me sometimes don't want to be hopeful.

00:07:33.020 You won't see me down there by the hope pond, putting hope meat on my hope hook, and just hoping I catch something.

00:07:41.520 You won't, so I don't want to be hopeful sometimes.

00:07:43.500 Sometimes, sometimes I'd rather be a curmudgeon.

00:07:48.720 Mow, mow, mow.

00:07:51.520 Just, mow, just talking in four-wheel drive, everything.

00:07:54.780 My, I got a V10 in my, in my throat.

00:08:00.860 Mow, diesel.

00:08:02.500 I got diesel tonsils.

00:08:03.980 Mow.

00:08:04.300 Mow, mow, mow, mow, mow.

00:08:06.680 And I'm just, every, I want to be, mow, mow, mow, mow.

00:08:11.440 Because it's been, it's hard sometimes to be hopeful.

00:08:13.700 It's hard if you feel like life has burnt you a little.

00:08:19.520 If you feel like the past wasn't what it was supposed to be for you, you don't want to be hopeful anymore.

00:08:26.100 You want to have that chip on your shoulder.

00:08:30.340 You want to be a shoulder chip baby. 0.99

00:08:33.460 Out there chip chopping.

00:08:34.720 And just slanging chips off your shoulder.

00:08:38.220 Step right up.

00:08:39.060 Who needs a chip, huh? 0.98

00:08:41.100 Chips on one shoulder.

00:08:42.460 Dip on the other. 1.00

00:08:44.420 You're just a damn little condiment. 1.00

00:08:46.840 You're just a little damn appetizer at that point. 1.00

00:08:52.300 But yeah, I'm more willing, I feel like, these days to try and be hopeful. 0.97

00:08:56.740 Just be hopeful.

00:08:58.760 I didn't want to be hopeful because it's, if I admit to the world that I'm willing to have hope,

00:09:06.140 then that means I'm sorry, then that means I'm not willing to hold a grudge.

00:09:18.280 And sometimes I don't know if I'm, I'm willing to let go of one of them enough to grab onto that other one.

00:09:25.160 Because that's where you got to have some faith in there.

00:09:27.960 When you're letting go of the grudges.

00:09:32.800 To grasp onto the hope.

00:09:34.720 There's some space in there.

00:09:35.940 And that's, man, it's the shortest bit of space. 0.98

00:09:43.660 But damn, that is hard. 0.96

00:09:45.960 It's hard to get, it's hard to get from one to the other. 0.99

00:09:49.020 It's hard to let go of those, that path, that, those things that are, because they give me power.

00:09:56.880 Oh, I'm angry about this. 1.00

00:09:58.320 Fuck this bitch. 1.00

00:09:59.220 These people. 1.00

00:10:00.060 I'm not, I remember them.

00:10:04.300 That all gives me, it gives me something.

00:10:06.400 Well, I can always preach at them. 0.98

00:10:08.300 But man, if I want to let go of that, and reach for that hope, baby, damn, that things could be different. 0.97

00:10:21.460 And open myself up to opportunity. 0.96

00:10:23.860 It's been hard for me to do in my life.

00:10:26.060 But today I'm hopeful that I'm on to something new.

00:10:36.900 Come on, baby. 0.97

00:10:38.300 Thank you for being here with me today.

00:10:41.540 I love you.

00:10:42.100 Whenever you're down, out in the cold, faithless and dark, your story's untold.

00:10:54.440 Come take my hand, and walk there with me.

00:10:59.680 I know a place where we can be free.

00:11:05.600 There is a light shining for you, guiding your way, helping you through.

00:11:17.000 Shadows and gloom.

00:11:18.000 Shadows and gloom are all that you see.

00:11:22.740 We'll find a place where we can be free.

00:11:28.160 From the mountain tops, down to the deepest, early valleys.

00:11:36.600 Hear a voice calling you.

00:11:39.500 Calling you.

00:11:40.500 It's the rising sun, shining in the darkest alley.

00:11:47.740 Can't you see you will be free?

00:11:50.840 Come on, baby. 0.97

00:11:51.580 There we go.

00:11:55.380 And we got into that.

00:11:58.180 And sometimes you got to get into it, baby, sometimes. 0.99

00:12:01.440 You got to get damn in there. 0.99

00:12:04.520 You got to get in there. 0.99

00:12:07.540 Bam, boy.

00:12:08.420 Sometimes you got. 0.93

00:12:09.200 Man, sometimes I wish I could just completely hide myself inside of my nuts. 0.67

00:12:13.820 Don't you? 0.88

00:12:14.820 God.

00:12:15.940 Because I'll say this about nuts.

00:12:17.340 People say this and that about nuts.

00:12:19.260 Oh, them nuts are nasty. 0.95

00:12:21.860 You hear women say that. 1.00

00:12:23.360 Oh, look at them nasty nuts. 1.00

00:12:26.200 He got them old, you know, he got them old 1990s nuts or whatever.

00:12:33.280 Or you'll hear him say, oh, he got them, look at these cheap nuts.

00:12:37.360 Some woman said that to me once about my nuts. 1.00

00:12:40.720 I'm like, what? 1.00

00:12:42.240 She's like, yeah, with your cheap ass nuts. 1.00

00:12:44.160 And then she hit my nuts like that, dude. 1.00

00:12:48.220 And you know, if you have nuts one quarter, if you have a quarter square inch of pressure on your nuts, bro. 0.99

00:12:56.360 If a damn acorn falls off a seven inch tree and lands on your nuts, bro, it's going to hurt. 0.99

00:13:06.060 Because your nuts is damn, oh, they are insecure. 1.00

00:13:10.720 I'll say that. 1.00

00:13:11.520 But your nuts are insecure. 0.55

00:13:14.520 That's just what they are.

00:13:17.560 But I'll say this. 1.00

00:13:19.800 The skin on your nuts, damn, come on. 1.00

00:13:23.200 Actually, that's a damn, that's a nice material. 1.00

00:13:28.140 There's no doubt. 0.99

00:13:29.000 If I had a couple of damn, some damn bald skin loafers or something to put my feet in while I watch television. 1.00

00:13:38.440 Come on. 1.00

00:13:39.860 Oh, boy. 1.00

00:13:41.520 If I had some damn, just some dang, you know, if I had me some nut wall slippers in there, damn. 0.99

00:13:52.120 A little bit of sheepskin on the outside, nut wall on the inside. 1.00

00:13:55.640 Of a pair of a pair of dang Christmas slippers.

00:13:59.660 Woo.

00:14:01.700 Santa's coming on my feet, boo boo.

00:14:04.660 I'm no, you ain't stopping me then.

00:14:10.620 You ain't stopping me then, baby. 0.99

00:14:12.940 If I had a damn nut coat. 1.00

00:14:16.160 If somebody said, damn, what you wearing, boy? 1.00

00:14:18.740 Me? 1.00

00:14:20.500 Nut. 1.00

00:14:23.120 Damn, that's 80% nut. 1.00

00:14:24.940 20% boss, baby. 0.99

00:14:31.400 If I'm not, now I guess some people would get the nut skin jacket or if you couldn't afford it, I'd get the vest. 1.00

00:14:37.900 Because if you show up to a party, baby, and you damn, you just vest it out in some just sheer bald skin. 1.00

00:14:49.060 Man, if you're wearing a sheer bald, if you're wearing a sheer damn bald vest, man, that bitch is going to be nice. 1.00

00:15:00.640 People, they're going to invite you in the back room to smoke you a joint or something. 0.99

00:15:04.620 Or get you some bubbly back there where they keep the good stuff, you know.

00:15:08.480 Because that's how it goes.

00:15:13.080 It's like at a party, you go to somebody's party and everybody's having the normal amounts of things in the living room and it's, hey, come back over here.

00:15:19.040 If you're doing well at the party, if you're socially acceptable or you're being, you know, enjoyable or you're dancing well or whatever, you brought a couple dames with you.

00:15:29.180 Then they say, hey, come over here to the back room.

00:15:32.440 And it could be anything. 0.97

00:15:33.540 If it's just an eating party, it might be somebody invites you to the back room and they got, you know, just a damn little jar of homemade molasses and they just spooning people out. 0.75

00:15:45.000 Get you a little half ounce, you know, get Debbie a little half ounce. 1.00

00:15:50.620 But if they got you drugged, then it could be drugs, you know.

00:15:55.220 Hey, get you a little sack of this.

00:15:57.940 Get you a little gram of this.

00:15:59.280 Give Tiffany a little bit of this. 0.99

00:16:01.140 Oh, Ron likes them uppers.

00:16:03.540 Make sure you up or run. 0.99

00:16:07.300 You know, it's just, but if you're wearing damn nuts, boy, come on, son. 0.99

00:16:14.260 Now, the tough part is if you got cheap ball skin, you got that shit, you know, you'd have different grades of it. 1.00

00:16:21.800 You'd have no hair. 0.99

00:16:23.020 You'd have to go probably no hair, I think.

00:16:24.840 But I don't know, bro. 1.00

00:16:27.800 You show up with some damn Middle Eastern nuts skin coat or little even just a dude, if you had a damn nut skin neck brace, that bitch would be expensive. 1.00

00:16:39.560 And if it had that hair on it, you got to keep the hair off of it, I think. 1.00

00:16:46.360 I don't think I would want that.

00:16:49.060 And then the different grades of it are the ages. 1.00

00:16:52.040 You're like, damn, they got this shit off a 95-year-old. 0.99

00:16:54.620 That's, you know, and then it's like, oh, this is damn, you know, this is some good 45, you know, somebody unfortunately passed away, maybe cancer or I don't know. 1.00

00:17:10.700 Then this is where this whole theory is getting a little bit dark. 0.95

00:17:13.480 I'm seeing that. 0.99

00:17:15.360 But dang, boy, you telling me I don't show up with some Uggs made out of dick jug skin? 1.00

00:17:24.400 Come on, baby. 0.99

00:17:25.740 The devil's chicken nuggets, baby.

00:17:28.200 Nuts.

00:17:31.440 Nuts. 0.97

00:17:33.300 Satan's tonsils, baby. 0.99

00:17:34.560 You know what I'm talking about.

00:17:36.420 Nuts. 1.00

00:17:38.080 You're nuts. 1.00

00:17:40.700 But God forbid I roll up with a damn nut skin belt. 1.00

00:17:44.880 Fresh nut. 1.00

00:17:46.740 Like, damn, look at that thing. 0.99

00:17:50.360 And I would even, I'd go down probably off of, you know, I don't want to say off it, but off of Asian probably or brother. 1.00

00:17:56.520 Depends on who, you know, what kind of, what you going for.

00:18:00.660 Because you could do some basic Caucasian nut, but I don't know. 0.99

00:18:04.120 Anyway, this is getting a little dark.

00:18:05.600 It's getting a little dark.

00:18:08.380 Happy Thanksgiving is what I'm trying to say.

00:18:11.700 And happy Thanksgiving to you.

00:18:15.760 I am, we got some new stuff.

00:18:18.020 It's that time of year. 1.00

00:18:18.700 We got some new items.

00:18:19.580 If you want to get somebody a gift, you can check out the Hitter Hunting Club Collection.

00:18:25.800 Now available at TheoVonStore.com.

00:18:29.140 We got hoodies and orange and maroon and a couple different items over there.

00:18:34.280 If you'd like to get out in the woods, we want you to feel like you can take this past weekend with you.

00:18:39.420 So we're grateful for that.

00:18:40.580 We got camo hats.

00:18:41.760 If you like eating Thanksgiving with your family, but you want to hide from them at the same time.

00:18:48.880 Because I've seen that, man.

00:18:50.340 We got, you know, you'll have a guy who don't even want to be around his family that much. 0.99

00:18:55.180 And so he'll be in a damn deer blind in his house. 0.99

00:19:00.540 You'll have a guy in there in complete camouflage at his own dinner table. 0.99

00:19:04.260 You're like, hey, dad, please pass the, uh, the pears.

00:19:12.660 And he picks a pear off his dang, his camo.

00:19:16.180 Because he have like, the camo he got was cheaper.

00:19:18.600 It had like a tropical vibe to it.

00:19:21.000 And so, you know, it's got pine and like some, you know, bark. 0.98

00:19:24.640 But then it also have a couple damn fruit trees in it, bruh. 0.98

00:19:27.560 You know? 0.99

00:19:28.680 Like, damn, this camo is a little, you know. 0.99

00:19:31.880 This camo don't, this is that San Francisco camo. 0.99

00:19:35.180 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:19:36.060 Boy, he'll have a damn fruit tree in that bitch. 1.00

00:19:39.260 Some of his camo have a damn bird feeder on. 1.00

00:19:41.340 Like, damn, this camo really, it's some three-dimensional camo. 1.00

00:19:45.760 And he'll damn pick a pear and pass it over to his son at the dinner table. 1.00

00:19:50.440 Because they're having trouble communicating. 0.99

00:19:52.140 And the man can't keep in touch with his own family.

00:19:57.280 Um, I don't know what I'm talking about.

00:19:59.940 And I never have.

00:20:01.280 I never really have.

00:20:03.180 And, uh, and you guys have always been supportive of me for that.

00:20:07.180 Or while I've done that.

00:20:08.980 And thank you.

00:20:10.320 Thank you so much.

00:20:11.740 Um, I am.

00:20:18.520 I'm feeling better.

00:20:21.580 It's scary to say that a little bit, but I'm feeling better.

00:20:24.480 Um, even just moments like today where I'm able to sit here and not feel too overwhelmed.

00:20:31.900 Uh, and just, man, I'm just grateful.

00:20:35.860 I'm grateful for, um, the people that have been coming out to shows.

00:20:40.740 I'm grateful for the community we've had.

00:20:44.480 Um, I'm looking forward to, we're trying to get a new studio.

00:20:48.040 It's not going to look completely different.

00:20:49.460 Okay.

00:20:49.760 We're just trying to get a new facility.

00:20:53.520 Um, a little bit because this one is, we're right close by the elevator. 0.98

00:20:59.120 I mean, we are, I mean, that bitch is, it's right there. 1.00

00:21:02.300 Um, so you can, you know, if somebody's going, I can hear somebody picking their nose and that 0.96

00:21:08.800 means, so we don't want, you know, we just, and it rattled.

00:21:12.540 We just want to get in the bathrooms are right there. 1.00

00:21:14.520 So it's like, you can hear people in there.

00:21:17.300 If some dude's gassed up or he got that body gas or that booty puff on him, you know, if 0.99

00:21:24.040 he's burping out his ass, um, we can hear it. 0.97

00:21:28.440 Um, you know, the valet guy, they got one dude, he says he's valet, but he's not. 1.00

00:21:33.880 He just, it's just a, it's just a dude that gets angry at people for parking. 0.98

00:21:38.580 So that's not, that's kind of just an asshole kind of, but he, uh, he got some bad GI tract 0.99

00:21:48.400 on him. 1.00

00:21:50.000 I mean, he got some damn, that dude's got some humidity in his butt. 1.00

00:21:54.640 Cause he'll, you hear him in there, just cat foreign in there. 1.00

00:21:58.440 He'll be up there.

00:21:59.940 I mean, the weather channels show up when this dude hits the throne, baby, he's in there

00:22:04.000 button out in there doing booty spray and large, baby. 1.00

00:22:08.140 Praise God bless him.

00:22:09.640 But I don't want to be right here on him.

00:22:14.180 You know, I feel like a middleman sometimes between him and the rest, you know, cause you 0.99

00:22:18.520 hear him in there, damn trumpet of the swan. 0.99

00:22:20.760 He's in there, you know, he's in there, he's in the damn, uh, in the Philharmonic in that 1.00

00:22:26.800 bitch. 1.00

00:22:27.580 He's in there playing that booty harmonica, dude, tooting. 1.00

00:22:30.560 You know what I'm saying?

00:22:31.320 Fighting.

00:22:35.000 Um, but we'll get into the episode.

00:22:37.800 Uh, I'm gonna let you know a couple of dates.

00:22:42.040 We got, um, Louisville, Indianapolis, Shreveport, Louisiana, Baton Rouge, Corpus Christi, Texas,

00:22:52.600 uh, Houston, Houston, Texas, Houston.

00:22:57.620 My bad.

00:22:58.100 But the H, they had lowercase H here, uh, Phoenix, Arizona, New York City, New York.

00:23:07.400 You know, when they say it twice like that in the title, just cause they're, you know, 1.00

00:23:11.540 they're just an asshole. 1.00

00:23:12.400 That's just how it, you know, well, Hey, welcome to New York City, New York. 1.00

00:23:15.780 Like I, I, I heard you the first time guy.

00:23:17.800 Uh, you know, I heard you.

00:23:19.580 Hey, we both heard you.

00:23:21.080 You heard you too.

00:23:21.880 You heard you.

00:23:22.600 Um, and then Austin, Texas, uh, those are all dates from January 25th to June 3rd.

00:23:29.440 All those are at TheoVon.com slash T O U R. 1.00

00:23:33.720 Please make sure you go through TheoVon.com slash tour because you're going to get accurately

00:23:39.280 priced.

00:23:41.020 What else happened?

00:23:41.940 Oh, we went to San Diego.

00:23:43.060 That was amazing.

00:23:44.380 Uh, thank you to everybody for coming out over there.

00:23:46.440 I was in, I got real sick, man.

00:23:48.220 I had a flu that hit me.

00:23:49.700 I had a flu that hit me.

00:23:52.460 And, um, so man, we were getting bag after bag after bag, just getting, um, IVs and stuff

00:24:00.980 in the back.

00:24:01.780 And the lady that came to give the, she was kind of, she was cool, but she also, she would 0.98

00:24:07.720 just, she'd throw anything in that bag, in the IV bag. 0.97

00:24:10.280 That thing had damn, you know, it had vitamins. 0.99

00:24:14.960 And then that bitch put down, I think she put a thing of crystal light in there. 1.00

00:24:19.200 The little like, damn, I don't know if I can do crystal light to my veins. 1.00

00:24:24.380 You know, she was putting everything in that bitch, you know, little, every, she put, you 1.00

00:24:33.060 know, cup, she put two out to about two hours and 20 minutes of a five hour energy. 1.00

00:24:36.800 She poured that bitch right into the bag. 1.00

00:24:38.560 I like, damn, bro. 1.00

00:24:41.020 You could hear my heart. 1.00

00:24:42.200 It sounded like it hit a speed bumps.

00:24:46.900 Like, dang, bro. 1.00

00:24:48.620 That shit, she pouring anything in that bitch. 1.00

00:24:51.760 And one of the shows I got out, I couldn't even barely see out of my eyes, man. 1.00

00:24:54.680 My eyes weren't doing good.

00:24:55.960 And my ears, I couldn't, all my senses were getting, I thought, you know, my senses were

00:24:59.760 kind of getting phased out.

00:25:01.520 Kind of like Elon Musk worked for my senses. 0.99

00:25:03.620 And he's like, all right, we cutting two of these bitches off, baby. 1.00

00:25:06.320 We cutting two of these bitches off. 1.00

00:25:13.120 What else? 1.00

00:25:13.740 I hope you're doing something good for Thanksgiving.

00:25:15.360 I'm going to head down to Louisiana.

00:25:19.020 I'm hoping to get to see friends and family down there.

00:25:22.100 And I'm really looking forward to that.

00:25:29.060 What else has been going on?

00:25:30.640 San Diego was really amazing.

00:25:32.980 You know, it was just, you know, I hadn't been out there in a while.

00:25:35.720 And so, just to get back on stage, one of the shows was pretty late.

00:25:43.440 It started late, and so that was hectic.

00:25:46.260 But thank you to everybody for all your patience.

00:25:50.020 The Thursday and Sunday shows were amazing.

00:25:52.920 The weekend, I don't know, oh, one night there was a, they had a security guard.

00:25:57.580 Somebody was doing something. 0.99

00:25:59.500 Some lady kept showing her tits, right? 1.00

00:26:01.320 And I'm, you know, I want to see them, you know, call me whatever, you know, titty boy or something. 1.00

00:26:13.000 But I want to see, you know, hey, look at these tits. 1.00

00:26:16.160 And she hit them tits, boy. 1.00

00:26:18.200 I'm like, damn. 1.00

00:26:19.840 And I knew right when she showed the tits, my tongue just came out and went like this. 1.00

00:26:23.780 And I, it was just nothing to, it was like a damn reaction. 0.99

00:26:32.600 It was a reaction, bro. 0.99

00:26:35.540 Like my tongue, yeah.

00:26:37.720 Like my tongue was waving at them, just came out of my mouth.

00:26:42.240 Like just, you know.

00:26:44.200 And so, but she kept showing them.

00:26:49.080 And I didn't, you know, they was decent.

00:26:51.320 You know, I was probably 40 yards from them.

00:26:54.760 And I love a tit at more, I like a tit more at probably zero to a half yard.

00:27:02.300 That's my favorite space for a tit.

00:27:04.240 And then I like a tit a little further out, probably at about four yards out.

00:27:09.760 But that's my favorite spacing where I like a tit.

00:27:16.900 You know, probably zero to a half yard or about four yards out.

00:27:22.500 And, uh, and then she kept shouting and just saying, you know, screaming. 0.99

00:27:28.160 So we had to, we had to get her out of there.

00:27:29.400 And then the security guard, I asked him and he acted like I didn't even exist.

00:27:35.520 This guy, he had a mask on and he had like those fake, uh, contact lenses, you know?

00:27:42.280 Like the ones that are like, you know, it's almost like somebody looks like they work at like, uh, they put those contact lenses in.

00:27:50.080 It's like they work at them, like, it's almost like Satan, like knows somebody in their family.

00:27:55.920 And they've been recruited for Satan.

00:27:57.600 Like Satan's recruiting and they've been reading the pamphlets at night at their house.

00:28:02.080 You know what I'm talking about when they get those crazy eye things, they don't look real a little bit.

00:28:09.360 Um, but anyway, I don't even know what I'm talking about now.

00:28:12.520 Uh, so that was kind of wild.

00:28:14.460 Um, but thank you to everybody for your support.

00:28:17.580 Uh, where else do we go?

00:28:20.620 That was amazing.

00:28:23.160 Well, we just got so many new spots coming up and, and, and we'll put up new places.

00:28:27.940 People are like, are you coming to the Anglin?

00:28:29.800 You coming to New Zealand?

00:28:31.640 And yes, we'll come to all of them.

00:28:34.840 But time has a way where it doesn't let you do it all at one time.

00:28:39.780 You know, time is a, time is a single file line, really.

00:28:46.720 And, um, and I can only be in the line in one place at a time.

00:28:52.060 So we'll get there though.

00:28:52.980 And I'm looking forward to it.

00:28:54.380 And we'll get to everywhere.

00:28:55.440 We're going to get to everywhere in America.

00:28:56.680 We're going to do it all.

00:28:57.460 You know, I want to come over there to, um, St. George, Utah.

00:29:02.360 My brother lives out over there.

00:29:03.440 I want to get over there and be able to see him and do a show.

00:29:06.020 We want to get up to Portland, NorCal, SoCal, Mexico, Mexico. 0.99

00:29:11.380 Dude, I want to go to Mexico and I want to damn bring some damn illegal aliens in or illegal 1.00

00:29:16.680 immigrants or whatever you want to call it. 1.00

00:29:18.860 Elite, you know, non-legals. 1.00

00:29:21.000 I don't know what they call them now, uh, but I definitely, I want to meet a couple of

00:29:26.020 them. 1.00

00:29:26.220 Fuck. 1.00

00:29:27.040 And even race them. 1.00

00:29:28.660 I fucking race them bitches. 1.00

00:29:29.980 The last hundred yards. 1.00

00:29:30.940 I bet I could beat somebody.

00:29:32.820 I'd love to see who they got on their team.

00:29:35.520 You know, it's never too early to play holiday music.

00:29:37.720 I know that I played out there.

00:29:39.720 I play it in January.

00:29:40.560 You know that I'm the guy who had, uh, if I'm doing karaoke, I sang, um, rocking around

00:29:48.580 the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop.

00:29:52.900 Cause that's who I am.

00:29:54.100 People are pissed at first, but then they know the words and it's a short song and they're

00:29:58.220 not that pissed.

00:30:01.600 Manscaped.

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00:30:05.480 Do that little drummer boy a favor and use the lawnmower 4.0 to avoid another silent

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00:30:43.820 Manscaped, get your jingle balls ready for the holidays.

00:30:47.460 You know, there's a lot of hidden costs out there.

00:30:50.320 Knock, knock. 0.93

00:30:50.780 Who's there?

00:30:51.240 Hidden costs.

00:30:52.760 The Michael Myers of financial agreements, baby.

00:30:55.560 Hidden costs.

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00:32:23.220 What else is happening?

00:32:25.100 I went on a date.

00:32:27.100 I went on a date.

00:32:29.540 So that's cool.

00:32:30.780 You know, I'm trying to be more, I've been more brave, like brave recently about trying

00:32:38.180 to be, uh, just trying to take dating a little bit more seriously, a little, um, you know,

00:32:50.900 uh, you know, I've spent a lot of time in the, in that space in my life, not being serious

00:32:58.560 or not being able to be serious.

00:33:01.180 So this will be a little bit different.

00:33:03.920 You know, I went on a date and it was just simple, you know, but I felt like it was manageable

00:33:12.460 and I just tried to be, just have a decent time, not try to put that pressure on it.

00:33:19.600 You know, not try to put that boot, you know, that body pressure, that booty pressure, that

00:33:26.020 smooch pressure, none of that.

00:33:28.420 Just, Hey, who are you?

00:33:29.660 Who am I?

00:33:31.420 Let's be right here.

00:33:33.960 Let's tango right here.

00:33:35.300 Let's, let's play pickleball with these minutes and hours.

00:33:37.940 Let's, let's spend a little bit of time together.

00:33:43.100 You know, your serve, my serve, your serve, my serve, you know, love, love maybe, or maybe

00:33:51.220 just game match and that's it.

00:33:54.200 And just go on.

00:34:00.380 Um, what else?

00:34:03.960 Um, I'm trying to think of what else has been happening in my life where I, where I, you

00:34:11.880 know, things that I could share or, um, I'm seven months sober.

00:34:17.800 So that's exciting.

00:34:20.460 I know there's a lot of people out there that, uh, struggle.

00:34:23.880 We get a lot of calls on the hotline and, um, try to return some of them when I can.

00:34:29.700 Um, but I want you to know if you are trying to,

00:34:33.960 do something different in your life, um, that I can relate to you.

00:34:40.820 That's, that's the thing that you and I probably have in common the most is that you are trying.

00:34:48.000 I'm always trying to do something different in my life.

00:34:50.420 And now that doesn't mean there's something always wrong with me.

00:34:53.880 Um, but I do always want to have some kind of improvement, you know, uh,

00:34:59.400 and I want to get my place self to a place where I can operate pretty comfortably.

00:35:05.440 Um, and sometimes, you know, that can take some effort really.

00:35:09.260 So, but, uh, if that's anything like you, then I bet we really have that in common.

00:35:14.400 Um, um, what else?

00:35:21.260 I'm trying to think of what else happened.

00:35:24.460 Oh, well, I don't know if I talked about it.

00:35:28.880 You know, Caleb Presley faked his own death on me.

00:35:31.860 Um, and, and he, he, well, he almost died.

00:35:39.720 And so at least, you know, he's willing to put his muerto where his mouth is, you know?

00:35:47.800 So that, at least I respected that.

00:35:50.040 But, but what happened was he was in the hot, he, something happened to him.

00:35:55.280 I don't know what happened to him.

00:35:56.620 He had a, you know, he could have had some bad salad.

00:35:59.640 I don't know.

00:36:00.180 Maybe he, you know, he lost too many bets on bar.

00:36:06.360 And, well, you know, he, I don't know what happened to him, but he, I think he, you know,

00:36:11.280 he lost probably a couple hundred bucks on North Carolina.

00:36:14.460 And next thing you know, he's in the hospital.

00:36:15.980 He's on a ventilator.

00:36:16.740 And so I'm on an airplane, I'm flying on an airplane somewhere. 0.96

00:36:23.120 And, uh, and I get a damn, um, I get a, a, a message from Will Compton. 0.79

00:36:33.560 If you're not familiar with Will Compton, he, um, he is a member of Bussin' with the Boys. 0.95

00:36:42.140 And they are a, they're kind of a, um, avant-garde or whatever it's called, I think.

00:36:49.840 Or one of them is an avant-garde.

00:36:52.740 Taylor.

00:36:53.300 There's two of them.

00:36:54.160 Will and Taylor are the two men that are on it.

00:36:56.800 And Will, yeah, Will is like a, Taylor is like an avant-garde.

00:37:03.400 He's like a football tackle.

00:37:06.980 And he, he also looks like he would be like the, like one of the final bosses at like,

00:37:12.600 kind of like a Renaissance fair, but like with a little bit of a Pac-Sun vibe thrown in.

00:37:21.840 Right.

00:37:22.040 And then Will is kind of like, he's like this, he only, he's like a crash chest dummy for CTE kind of.

00:37:32.180 He's like, basically he's that dog, you know, they're both dogs.

00:37:35.600 They're both dogs.

00:37:36.700 But Will, um, told, Will texted me, I'm on this airplane.

00:37:41.780 And he said, did you hear what happened to Caleb?

00:37:43.160 And when somebody says that, you're like, it's two options.

00:37:48.680 Either Caleb is unalive or, or whoever the person is, that person is either unalive or they won the lottery or something.

00:38:02.080 Right.

00:38:04.040 So I'm like, I don't think Caleb even plays the Powerball or nothing.

00:38:09.320 So I'm like, what happened?

00:38:11.520 And, you know, he makes you do the, what happened?

00:38:13.000 And I'm like, gee, and I'm on a plane.

00:38:14.160 So it's like, takes four minutes.

00:38:15.720 I have to restart my phone, get it back on the thing.

00:38:18.940 And it said that he passed away.

00:38:24.200 So I'm sitting in the plane, man.

00:38:26.520 I start just breaking down, you know?

00:38:30.480 Um, I'm just, you know, I'm shook.

00:38:37.100 And I even told the guy next to me, you know, and he could see something was kind of wrong.

00:38:41.520 And I looked over and I said, um, my friend just passed away and he goes, do you want to go pee?

00:38:52.720 That's what he said. 0.73

00:38:53.420 And I'm like, what kind of sick dude does this guy think I am? 0.99

00:38:59.340 That if somebody dies that I got to go hold my dick for some reason, or, you know, like I, he didn't know there was no condolences or nothing. 0.99

00:39:09.640 You know, and that kind of, that shook me, man. 0.99

00:39:15.060 Like my friend passed away and he's like, oh, do you want to, you want to go pee?

00:39:20.580 You think cause like, what, what about looking at me makes you think cause my friend is gone?

00:39:27.560 That I want to pee, that I want to go hold my wiener in a small room and have water come out of it, you know?

00:39:39.820 I mean, we're just losing touch with each other, man.

00:39:42.140 Um, but yeah, for about 20, 25 minutes, um, I thought he was deceased and, uh, and then I get a text from Will and, um, and he said, Hey man, uh, we're just joking or whatever.

00:39:59.140 We just had burritos or something like that.

00:40:00.840 You know, some just typical, you know, just real SIG app, just some real SIG app shit or whatever, you know? 0.99

00:40:08.240 But anyway, shit, we haven't even gotten it. 0.98

00:40:10.180 I've just been rambling guys. 0.98

00:40:11.800 Um, we had some great voicemails that came in, you know, it's just, I feel, I feel, I want to say, uh, um, I'll, uh, I want to do more solo episodes.

00:40:23.880 I want to be able to keep the, our connection.

00:40:26.000 Uh, sometimes it's been, I've been just managing like, what's he, what is most capable?

00:40:30.840 For me.

00:40:32.000 And so, um, so if you wonder like, man, Theo doesn't do it this week, it's not that I don't care.

00:40:38.560 It's just, that's, um, what I can like handle for myself.

00:40:43.920 So I have to make sure I take care of, uh, of myself.

00:40:48.140 You know, I've been caught up for years.

00:40:50.120 I got caught up trying to do everything and, um, man.

00:40:56.440 And it really, really burned me out. 1.00

00:40:58.480 It burned my dick open. 0.99

00:41:00.840 So now I'm just managing things a little bit. 0.99

00:41:03.560 I'm managing myself, you know, cause I want to be able to be alive.

00:41:07.760 Um, and, and I'm excited next year.

00:41:11.540 We're going to add, we're going to add back in some elements of trying to do some positive things for people.

00:41:15.640 Um, we were, we're, we're just, we're getting things back on track here.

00:41:22.560 And, um, and that's awesome.

00:41:27.620 That's awesome.

00:41:28.860 Uh, some great, some great calls came in.

00:41:32.640 Let me get to them here.

00:41:34.520 Was there any news?

00:41:35.680 Let me see.

00:41:36.380 There is a lie.

00:41:40.100 I like that.

00:41:43.300 Musk restores Trump's Twitter account after online poll.

00:41:48.240 You know, what's funny about Elon Musk?

00:41:49.720 People forget his last name is Musk. 1.00

00:41:51.820 Because Musk is just that damn, that's your damn, what is it? 1.00

00:41:56.640 Let me look it up. 1.00

00:41:57.580 M-U-S. 0.99

00:41:59.980 K.

00:42:00.920 Musk. 1.00

00:42:02.460 Damn. 1.00

00:42:02.900 And it's funny. 0.99

00:42:06.340 Now you put Musk, the definite, if you put Musk, he comes up.

00:42:14.020 But when I was growing up, Musk, it was just, uh, a strong smelling reddish brown substance,

00:42:20.440 which is secreted by the male musk deer for scent marking.

00:42:24.420 And then is an important degree, ingredient in perfumery. 0.98

00:42:28.380 Anyway, so Musk is just that body bust, you know, it's that damn, it's just when your 0.99

00:42:35.660 damn pores all kind of fart just in sheer, just, this is who I am, baby. 1.00

00:42:41.260 It's that, you know, it's the, uh, license and registration of your fucking soul, baby. 1.00

00:42:48.320 You know, it's your, it's your, just your essence, just fucking busting a damn air nut 1.00

00:42:54.440 into people's nostrils, baby. 1.00

00:42:56.580 That's what Musk is.

00:42:58.380 You got that Musk, baby. 1.00

00:43:01.700 Damn. 1.00

00:43:03.920 That Musk, boy, that's why you see a dog, they go get a hit of another dog or another 1.00

00:43:08.120 animal's ass, bruh. 1.00

00:43:09.840 They want that, you know, that's that damn business card, baby. 1.00

00:43:14.500 That's the devil's business card, baby. 1.00

00:43:16.460 You're an asshole. 1.00

00:43:18.500 And that's why you see a dog go over there and just try to get another dog's number real 1.00

00:43:22.300 quick.

00:43:22.680 Like, he just, you know, just gets that hit.

00:43:26.500 You get all the information at once, you know.

00:43:29.520 It's like Larry Plummer.

00:43:32.100 601-446-2007. 0.99

00:43:33.780 You know, it's like, damn. 0.99

00:43:36.100 That's it, baby. 0.99

00:43:37.980 That's Mother Nature's QR code, baby.

00:43:40.120 That B-hole.

00:43:42.080 You get that information.

00:43:44.060 People hit you with that.

00:43:45.740 You pull that intel off somebody's backside, off that B-hole. 0.96

00:43:48.900 There is a light shining for me.

00:43:56.460 One day off of vaping, baby.

00:44:00.860 I am right now one full day off of vaping, and I'm going to try to keep going.

00:44:06.320 My God, is it hard. 0.99

00:44:07.680 But, yeah, Elon beat out damn deer, uh, deer bust. 0.98

00:44:15.480 So, it's interesting. 0.99

00:44:17.460 When, you know, another case of humans just out, uh, just defeating nature in the sense

00:44:22.140 that what we think is important. 1.00

00:44:25.740 You know, Musk used to be the damn scent of the animal. 1.00

00:44:29.500 And now it's some fucking dude that's afraid of the sun. 1.00

00:44:33.420 But I do love seeing him make people at Twitter squirm. 0.99

00:44:36.200 I like anybody, but get the squirm on them.

00:44:40.600 Twitter has been, Twitter, nothing I feel, I mean, the internet, cell phones are killing

00:44:46.820 us.

00:44:48.240 Twitter, nothing has been worse than Twitter. 1.00

00:44:52.060 It's trash. 1.00

00:44:54.220 It's trash, man. 1.00

00:44:57.440 And it's not open, it's not open source. 0.98

00:44:59.600 You can't just say what it's like.

00:45:01.440 You can say, you can say, you can say, you can say it.

00:45:04.200 Just even it out, baby.

00:45:05.540 You make it a Royal Rumble, that's all I'm saying.

00:45:09.060 Make it, make it either these are the rules or these aren't the rules.

00:45:12.860 But some people shouldn't get the rules and other people not get the rules.

00:45:18.240 Because then those aren't rules. 0.99

00:45:19.660 Those are damn cages. 0.99

00:45:22.160 What else do we got? 1.00

00:45:31.880 Oh, Buffalo got hit with this blizzard, baby.

00:45:34.380 I don't know if you've seen this. 0.97

00:45:35.920 And if you're in recovery, baby, there's nothing like seeing a damn blizzard hit a bunch of 0.98

00:45:39.400 people. 0.99

00:45:40.800 My God.

00:45:41.720 There's nothing like seeing that when the skies open up and serve that, that 30 ball to the

00:45:49.980 world, hit that two, that 200 ball. 0.99

00:45:53.160 You got a damn half of the suburbs just damn hopped up on a 2000 ball, on a 60, 70 ball. 1.00

00:46:05.720 You got an 80 ball on the damn driveway, you're out there. 1.00

00:46:09.960 I loved it, man. 1.00

00:46:12.300 Dawson Knox was sending me pictures.

00:46:13.980 AJ Klein was sending me pictures. 0.98

00:46:17.100 God, I was, I don't think that the players and the people of Buffalo know just the damn, 0.99

00:46:24.520 just, I mean, just that temperature porn. 0.99

00:46:27.440 That's what I was on. 0.61

00:46:28.960 God.

00:46:30.340 I see a driveway.

00:46:31.660 I see a shovel.

00:46:32.860 Woo woo. 0.98

00:46:34.600 I'm musking, baby. 1.00

00:46:36.260 I can feel my damn, my chest just go from a damn lowercase A cup to a fucking, to almost 1.00

00:46:43.540 a half A. Just, I could feel myself just half A-ing in my chest. 1.00

00:46:49.700 I think that we were all hopped up when, but when Buffalo shared those snow pictures, God,

00:46:54.520 we were all there.

00:46:55.680 Now I was in the comfort of my warm home, you know, but I swear to God, I went and made 0.93

00:47:01.360 me some damn hot chocolate a lot in honor and in honor of those good folks. 0.93

00:47:09.900 You got to love the bills. 0.96

00:47:11.220 It's exciting.

00:47:11.680 And I'll tell you why it's exciting because those fans are that, that, that, that's fanhood. 0.99

00:47:18.960 That's where you out there, you take your family to the game, you damn lose a family 0.99

00:47:22.900 member. 1.00

00:47:24.160 Everybody in that bitches, you know, the inside of the stadium looks like home alone on a 1.00

00:47:28.300 Tuesday because they got 90 kids and people, adults, McAllisters, everybody's stuck in 1.00

00:47:33.280 that bitch. 1.00

00:47:33.880 People just hitting each other in the face with damn, uh, shaving cream lotion and running 1.00

00:47:41.300 around and putting thumbtacks on the stairs. 0.99

00:47:44.480 People damn home alone and up in that, but that's how the bills go. 0.95

00:47:48.080 What is it? 0.99

00:47:51.080 Ralph Waldo, whatever it is, Ralph Emerson stadium. 0.98

00:47:55.300 You'd be out there, damn, you get a text from work. 0.99

00:47:57.400 You're a boss. 0.99

00:47:58.100 So down, I'm stuck in Ralph Emerson stadium. 1.00

00:48:00.600 I've been in that bitch. 1.00

00:48:02.100 You know, I've been in this bitch since we beat the Ravens, since we beat Edgar Allen Poe, 1.00

00:48:07.580 you know? 0.99

00:48:08.080 But damn, I was loving that. 0.99

00:48:11.360 That made my, that really made, that was a nice time for the weekend. 0.98

00:48:17.160 Oh, I went to UFC 281.

00:48:19.500 Sorry, I just feel like I'm just bragging now, kind of.

00:48:26.320 Yeah, I just feel like I'm bragging.

00:48:29.540 But dude, that was so much fun.

00:48:31.740 Man, when I go into the UFC things, man, for me, I really, it's like, sleigh bells ring

00:48:39.680 while you're listening.

00:48:43.780 Children's slings.

00:48:48.180 Children's slings.

00:48:51.220 I don't know the rest of it, but it's like, I think it's about like, like a bunch of kids

00:48:55.220 broke their arms or whatever.

00:48:56.300 You know what song I'm talking about?

00:48:59.660 God, it's just good.

00:49:01.740 You know, it just, man, when I'm in there, it's like every fighter that I see is like

00:49:06.200 one of the reindeer and like Dana White is like Santa and it just, everything about it

00:49:16.120 just like, and then the music starts and then the fighters come out and they're all warriors.

00:49:23.300 You know, they're all so, it's like you, y'all are doing something so many of us can't,

00:49:28.100 couldn't do.

00:49:28.660 Um, yeah, there's just so much about it.

00:49:36.780 And I was sitting there watching, it was, uh, Dave Portnoy and his buddy, Big Cat.

00:49:41.460 And they were, I mean, they were cheering for Molly McCann's baby. 0.99

00:49:48.020 And she, I mean, this lady had Molly McCann's in a damn crucifix. 1.00

00:49:51.560 I mean, I don't know if you saw the Molly McCann's fight and they had her in a damn cruise. 1.00

00:49:56.840 I mean, this, uh, who did she fight? 0.96

00:50:01.660 Molly McCann's.

00:50:03.280 And she's British.

00:50:05.000 She's a scouser. 1.00

00:50:07.100 And you know, I like, she got that rough and tumble, baby. 0.71

00:50:09.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:50:10.200 She got that grr in her. 1.00

00:50:12.040 She got to look like her vagina would arm wrestle you a little, you know, she's got that, 1.00

00:50:15.940 or thumb wrestle at least, baby. 0.99

00:50:17.560 She's got that gumption. 1.00

00:50:19.180 She's, uh, she's a warrior. 0.99

00:50:22.780 You know, and she fought, um, she fought and she didn't get the win. 1.00

00:50:32.060 And the girl, she fought Archibald, who was the lady she fought?

00:50:34.980 I think Aaron Archibald, Aaron Blanchfield.

00:50:40.200 And it was just a, I mean, I'd love to see that fight again.

00:50:42.900 It was, it was amazing.

00:50:44.320 But I mean, she had McCann, she had her in this, in the crucifix, you know, she had her 0.98

00:50:47.760 damn, I mean, she had her in the damn third Testament to be honest with us. 0.99

00:50:51.660 She really had her, you know, but Molly did not. 1.00

00:50:55.160 I mean, she was like, gosh, she was like one of those door to door salesmen. 0.97

00:51:00.520 That's just like, I mean, she kept, I mean, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

00:51:07.720 She just, I mean, oh, it's powerful when you're sitting there watching women do that. 0.99

00:51:13.940 And you know, you couldn't even do it, dude, I'd have tapped, bro, I'd have tapped, man.

00:51:20.040 If I have to sneeze into my hand real hard and there's no Kleenex, bro, I'll tap.

00:51:23.760 I've tapped out of a hard sneeze, dude.

00:51:26.180 Just because of the pressure. 0.98

00:51:27.140 Sometimes it puts on my neck, you know, damn, you get a little bit of light whiplash and 0.99

00:51:32.580 I'm out, baby. 0.99

00:51:34.900 I just lost to sinuses. 0.60

00:51:36.360 Um, but that was great to be at the fights.

00:51:40.800 It was just, I mean, it just was magical and people were bummed when out of Sonia lost.

00:51:47.860 But also, you know, it's all like the, you know, it's just the story of how things go.

00:51:56.340 Um, and then Poirier and Chandler, you know, I, I like both of these, they're both, they're

00:52:02.560 both totally different guys.

00:52:04.480 Um, but both just great guys.

00:52:06.840 I don't think anybody wanted to see them fight each other except them.

00:52:10.840 Um, but that was an unbelievable fight in the first round.

00:52:18.460 I was like, who's everybody?

00:52:19.860 Like, I felt like we all, everybody won.

00:52:23.400 Everybody, it just like was them thing.

00:52:26.700 Everybody was on.

00:52:27.600 It was just, I felt like people were on.

00:52:31.240 I felt like there was a minute where they were both unconscious, but also fighting.

00:52:34.900 Um, so just, just wow, man.

00:52:39.140 And then the ring girls, man, where they are, dang, every time they come around the ring, 1.00

00:52:44.220 I'm like, all right.

00:52:46.360 Uh, yes, I do.

00:52:49.500 I do.

00:52:51.840 Dearly beloved, that's all I hear.

00:52:53.520 Every time they go walking by, we are gathered here.

00:52:55.720 I do.

00:52:56.580 Yes.

00:52:58.120 Oh, I would be honored.

00:52:59.720 That's what I just, that's how I feel when they go by.

00:53:01.760 Um, yeah, this was some of the stuff from the Buffalo Bills blizzard.

00:53:06.600 This stuff was great, man.

00:53:09.180 Uh, and this blizzard, I mean, this looks like, wow, if you can see this, I mean, it looks like

00:53:19.960 Columbia took a vacation.

00:53:25.820 Yeah.

00:53:28.700 So fun.

00:53:29.500 People just dive in and people disappear in a lot of people probably going to, I don't

00:53:34.880 want to say, I'm sure a dateline episode will start from this.

00:53:37.700 A lot of people getting rid of their wives or whatever, or a lot of lesbianism starts also

00:53:42.180 in cold weather. 0.96

00:53:43.060 You know that go talk to a lesbian. 1.00

00:53:48.220 They'll tell you that's a cold weather sport, huh? 0.99

00:53:51.800 Let me get you out of that coat, huh?

00:53:57.760 And, and let me get you into a little bit of, a little bit of this non-wiener. 0.94

00:54:03.560 That's what they're, that's how it starts right there. 0.52

00:54:06.420 That's a gateway drug for lesbianism. 1.00

00:54:10.320 Chinese man runs a marathon while chain smoking. 0.97

00:54:14.380 Yeah.

00:54:14.880 Chinese people, they do everything while chain smoking. 1.00

00:54:20.680 I don't know if you've been to China or not, or if you've been this where they build

00:54:23.940 everything.

00:54:25.320 You get, you pick up anything now in a store, you smell it, you can smell a little bit of

00:54:28.740 chain smoking in it.

00:54:30.640 It doesn't matter what it is.

00:54:32.760 You get in, you get you a little, uh, thing of, uh, a little thing of, um, shirts or under

00:54:40.040 shorts, Hanes under shorts. 1.00

00:54:41.340 What you smell, it's like, damn, somebody been smoking in these bitches or you get you 1.00

00:54:45.680 a lampshade. 1.00

00:54:46.600 That bitch already got smoke in it. 1.00

00:54:48.320 Damn. 1.00

00:54:49.840 This thing got half a winced and built into the fabric, but that's China. 0.99

00:54:54.640 They blowing smoke in everything, everything, our silverware, everything probably has, uh,

00:55:00.540 carcinogens in it.

00:55:03.780 Um, what else do we have?

00:55:06.980 Construction worker destroys business after they don't pay him.

00:55:12.040 Hell yeah.

00:55:13.320 I like that.

00:55:15.100 Let's see what happened.

00:55:16.060 This dude.

00:55:17.620 Oh yeah.

00:55:20.680 He didn't get paid, baby.

00:55:21.940 He's taking the work back.

00:55:26.240 I love it.

00:55:27.840 I love this.

00:55:31.080 Dang.

00:55:31.600 He's eating the walls with that little, uh, that little motor hammer, whatever that thing

00:55:37.220 is, that little, uh, T-Rex. 0.95

00:55:40.400 That thing looks like a damn T-Rex, but it's a, just a machine. 1.00

00:55:44.320 Damn. 1.00

00:55:44.780 That thing will fuck, huh? 1.00

00:55:46.040 That thing's beautiful. 0.99

00:55:47.760 Um, but yeah, this guy, you can't see the video.

00:55:50.220 He's brought a little, um, shoveler.

00:55:53.380 It's like a little motorized shoveler.

00:55:56.420 Have like a big shovel when he drives it.

00:55:58.520 And he's just basically attacking the walls in this building.

00:56:01.260 I love this.

00:56:02.100 And I'll tell you why, because this is where we're at, man.

00:56:06.760 This is where we're at.

00:56:07.940 If you got insurance, you're covered and somebody gets you down like that.

00:56:12.200 They don't do you get a do what you got to do, baby.

00:56:15.680 And this is one thing that I miss about.

00:56:18.020 And honestly, I miss a little about, uh, being young, being completely broke, having nothing.

00:56:25.940 Cause when you got nothing, they can't, they can't take nothing from you.

00:56:33.360 That's when you're the freest you could ever be.

00:56:38.000 They go on.

00:56:39.040 You free as can be, you got nothing.

00:56:41.780 Then they can't take nothing from you.

00:56:43.940 You could say, do what you ain't got.

00:56:49.660 No.

00:56:50.200 Cause you know what happens is you, if you have something, they say something, people sue you.

00:56:55.100 They come out, they trick you.

00:56:56.620 They trick everybody.

00:56:57.660 They'll find a way.

00:57:01.380 So then you're like, dang, I want to say something, but I like this, having this new, this sofa. 0.99

00:57:06.580 You know, I want to say something, but I got a damn microwave over there. 0.99

00:57:12.000 I got a damn lava lamp. 0.99

00:57:14.180 I got a damn microwave that work, that runs in conjunction with my lava lamp. 1.00

00:57:19.180 I'm making a damn TV dinner and I got a bunch of little, some goop over here doing a damn 1.00

00:57:24.140 Dougie in a, in the, in the, in the lamp, you know? 0.99

00:57:30.720 So I don't know what I'm talking about, but, but that's the time, baby. 1.00

00:57:35.320 Fuck you got nothing. 1.00

00:57:37.120 Get out there. 1.00

00:57:37.640 Cause let them, you know, who's not, they're not going to sue you.

00:57:39.560 If you got nothing, they ain't going to sue you.

00:57:42.480 Cause you ain't, there ain't nothing.

00:57:43.880 So you the winner.

00:57:46.080 This is a lawsuit universe.

00:57:47.760 Now it's insurance nation, baby.

00:57:50.860 A teen solo hiker who was terrorized for days by unknown figures dressed in white, two cops

00:57:58.380 who quit their job at a local theater because of unexplained encounters with an alleged demon.

00:58:03.520 An isolated forest in Canada where people keep turning up headless.

00:58:10.660 These are just some of the strange, dark, and mysterious stories you'll hear each week

00:58:14.600 on the Mr. Bollin podcast.

00:58:17.600 In each episode, Mr. Bollin shares real life haunting accounts like the case of Haley Zaga

00:58:22.820 who disappeared from a hiking trail for 51 hours.

00:58:27.060 That's right.

00:58:30.240 If you like the mystery and intrigue, you want to know what could be going on.

00:58:34.300 Mr. Bollin could have it for you.

00:58:38.980 Hey, prime members, listen to the Amazon music exclusive podcast, Mr. Bollin podcast, strange,

00:58:45.700 dark, and mysterious stories in the Amazon music app.

00:58:49.300 Download the app today.

00:58:50.780 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:58:53.840 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:58:56.580 Whoa, is this economy?

00:58:58.700 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:59:01.140 Sweet.

00:59:02.240 Fast free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:59:06.300 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:59:09.320 It's kind of like I'm already on vacation.

00:59:12.520 Nice.

00:59:13.660 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

00:59:16.120 All right, let's get into some voicemails, man.

00:59:23.620 You guys have been so patient, and I'm sorry, I thought this would be a shorter episode

00:59:28.780 because I just wanted to do Happy Holidays.

00:59:34.140 But here we go.

00:59:39.180 Let's take a call right here.

00:59:41.920 Hi, Theo.

00:59:42.880 My name is Megan.

00:59:43.840 I'm from California, Los Angeles area.

00:59:48.980 Hey, Megan.

00:59:51.000 Hey, Megan.

00:59:52.940 Onward.

00:59:54.380 I'm a new fan, probably like the last six months, but I've been watching a bunch of your podcasts

01:00:00.820 and different interviews you've been on with Bobby Lee.

01:00:05.480 I love Bobby Lee, too.

01:00:06.580 I'm a single mom, and I've been dating a little bit, and I just wanted to let you know that.

01:00:15.100 Good for you, baby, to get out there.

01:00:17.880 You know, get out there.

01:00:18.880 We all have to get out there.

01:00:20.040 This is our time.

01:00:22.360 You know, so much of my life, when I look at the past of my life, I was afraid to get out there

01:00:27.920 because I don't look the way I want to look.

01:00:31.220 I don't, you know, I'm not in my best shape right now.

01:00:35.420 I'm not. 0.55

01:00:36.420 But then, damn, as life goes on, it all just gets a little tougher, and you never get to the space, the perfect space. 0.96

01:00:42.800 So the whole time, I'm keeping myself away from joy, away from possibility because I just, out of fear a lot of times, 0.98

01:00:53.100 or insecurity, I did that a lot.

01:00:54.960 I'm not accusing you of that. 0.99

01:00:56.420 It just, man, when I look at pictures of myself, even a few years ago, I say, damn, man. 0.98

01:01:02.460 I wish you'd have had more confidence then. 0.98

01:01:05.000 You know, I wish you went and did the, you know.

01:01:07.140 But that's okay, because I can try now.

01:01:14.220 But I'm glad you're getting out there, man.

01:01:15.900 Let's hear more.

01:01:17.380 I was doing okay dating before.

01:01:20.020 Like, I think I'm attractive, not gross. 0.98

01:01:24.540 But once I told guys, like, oh, yeah, I like Theo Vaughn, I've been getting so much more dick before than before. 0.99

01:01:35.980 Guys just love it. 0.98

01:01:37.260 I mean.

01:01:37.740 What?

01:01:42.420 Hey.

01:01:45.740 We giving back to these single moms, boys. 1.00

01:01:50.080 Look, I'm glad.

01:01:51.080 It sounds like you've been getting safely poked out there, you know.

01:01:54.400 Hopefully, you don't look like MGK's VMA's outfit.

01:01:58.380 But that's good for you.

01:02:06.520 I'm glad you're getting some decent wiener out there on behalf of the community, baby.

01:02:10.860 And that's what we do out there.

01:02:12.440 We serve semi-decent to decent wiener.

01:02:16.600 You know, if you want something outside of that, you're going to have to go elsewhere.

01:02:20.260 But that's what we serve.

01:02:21.420 Praise God, baby.

01:02:22.220 I'm happy you're doing well.

01:02:23.780 And you stay busy out there.

01:02:25.820 And get that wand, mama. 1.00

01:02:27.600 Get you a little bit of that Thanksgiving wand, huh?

01:02:30.160 Get a little bit of root meat with your turkey, huh?

01:02:34.660 What else we got?

01:02:35.560 A couple other calls have came in.

01:02:41.820 Here we got one right here.

01:02:44.180 What's up, Theo?

01:02:45.440 So, I just had a question.

01:02:47.280 Oh, right?

01:02:47.720 I just found out, like, a couple months ago that, like, my dad isn't, like, my actual dad.

01:02:53.560 And my mom has just been, like, straight up lying for, like, 18 years to my face.

01:02:58.480 And, like, I found it out because I was getting documents for, like, college. 0.99

01:03:02.600 And it was, like, this, like, medical shit. 0.97

01:03:04.640 And, like, I checked the name. 0.99

01:03:05.920 And on my dad's name, it was, like, different.

01:03:08.720 And so, I go to my mom.

01:03:10.340 And I'm, like, yo, like, why is it different?

01:03:12.060 She goes, oh, it must be, like, a typo. 0.73

01:03:14.740 Or, like, they messed it up or some shit. 0.80

01:03:16.540 And I was, like, oh, all right, then. 0.89

01:03:19.200 And then, so, my friend called me, like, a week later.

01:03:22.100 And he goes, yeah, bro, your mom got drunk and told my mom that you're not your dad's son. 1.00

01:03:28.520 And I was, like, yo, what the fuck? 0.99

01:03:30.520 And so, like, I go on a trip. 0.99

01:03:32.940 Whoa.

01:03:33.480 So, dude, I feel like the clues are adding up kind of a little.

01:03:37.180 I'm sorry to hear this.

01:03:39.280 That you're not the dad's son.

01:03:41.100 You are not the son.

01:03:43.120 You are not the son.

01:03:44.640 And, oh, the dad's, like, but, bro, are you at the beach or something?

01:03:50.800 Because you're, like, bro, my dad, you know, he didn't know.

01:03:55.280 And I told my mom.

01:03:56.680 She's, like, what?

01:03:58.580 And then I feel like I'm talking to Chad and JT.

01:04:02.020 This could be a Chad and JT prank.

01:04:05.180 But I'm a ride.

01:04:06.080 I'm a ride.

01:04:06.560 Let's hear more.

01:04:07.900 And I'm sorry.

01:04:08.440 Well, I don't, I can't tell how this is affecting you yet. 0.97

01:04:12.380 It's, like, my cousins and shit. 0.96

01:04:14.100 And I open up to them. 0.97

01:04:15.460 I'm, like, yo, I don't think my dad is my real dad.

01:04:18.860 And they go, yeah, we know that.

01:04:21.220 We then knew that.

01:04:22.620 And, like, everyone in my whole life knew.

01:04:26.240 Bro.

01:04:28.440 Are you sure you didn't, are you sure?

01:04:30.560 It sounds like you should have known.

01:04:36.220 I hate to say that.

01:04:39.540 But it sounds like everybody, like, hey, this isn't my real dad. 0.99

01:04:43.720 And people are, like, no shit. 0.98

01:04:46.360 Carl or whatever, you know, or Richard. 0.99

01:04:48.180 Let me hear the beginning name.

01:04:49.160 Sorry.

01:04:49.620 What's up, Theo?

01:04:50.780 So I just had a question.

01:04:53.020 Oh, you didn't have a name.

01:04:54.180 Yeah.

01:04:54.760 What?

01:04:55.160 Oh, no.

01:04:56.540 I mean, was there moments where you were, like, where you got, like, a Christmas

01:05:00.280 present from him?

01:05:01.020 And it was, like, to my son, love, dad, question mark.

01:05:09.220 Like, did anything like that ever happen?

01:05:10.780 Or were you ever in the house and you were, like, dad?

01:05:13.920 And he was, like, not it.

01:05:16.480 Like, did you hear any memories?

01:05:20.440 Because it just sounds, you're, like, mom, it's not our real dad.

01:05:25.640 And she's, like, oh, I don't know, Bob.

01:05:28.040 Might be a typo.

01:05:29.120 But, I mean, are you guys eating weed or something?

01:05:32.440 Let's hear more.

01:05:34.020 And, like, everyone in my whole life knew.

01:05:37.400 Everyone knew.

01:05:38.320 And no one told me.

01:05:39.300 My mom had been straight up lying to me. 0.97

01:05:41.080 And I just didn't talk to her for days.

01:05:42.560 And I'm just, like.

01:05:43.340 For days, bro.

01:05:44.960 This whole thing.

01:05:46.040 I think this is Chad and JT.

01:05:47.620 And if it is, dude.

01:05:48.680 That's pretty good.

01:05:53.960 Man, we didn't, you know.

01:05:55.480 My mom was, like, this isn't your dad, man.

01:05:57.600 And I was, like.

01:05:58.920 I was, like.

01:06:03.380 If it's not, brother.

01:06:10.000 If this is not us pranked.

01:06:11.400 Then I am sorry.

01:06:12.880 I'm sorry.

01:06:13.740 But, also.

01:06:14.380 You got a new adventure, baby.

01:06:15.680 You out there.

01:06:17.660 You know.

01:06:18.920 You got the. 1.00

01:06:19.640 You're that fucking Sherlock homie, bro. 1.00

01:06:22.080 You out there. 1.00

01:06:22.740 You could go fucking get you a new dad. 1.00

01:06:25.280 Find that new. 1.00

01:06:26.140 You know.

01:06:26.500 That new.

01:06:26.840 And this dad could be a.

01:06:28.080 You know.

01:06:28.820 You got a chance to really.

01:06:30.720 It's almost like I'll trade what's here.

01:06:33.020 But, you know.

01:06:33.280 It's like let's make a deal.

01:06:35.380 All right, Ron.

01:06:36.340 Or whatever.

01:06:36.760 I'll give you.

01:06:37.700 You know.

01:06:38.500 I'll give you.

01:06:39.620 You know.

01:06:40.960 Alan.

01:06:41.440 Or whatever the dad's name is.

01:06:42.820 And I'll take a chance.

01:06:43.660 For what's behind door number seven.

01:06:45.220 Or whatever.

01:06:46.040 So.

01:06:46.500 Good luck out there, bro.

01:06:48.360 A lot of us.

01:06:49.300 You know.

01:06:49.540 You get the dad you get.

01:06:50.780 And you don't get that second opportunity.

01:06:52.280 So this could be God.

01:06:53.380 Really doing something powerful for you.

01:06:55.880 And.

01:06:56.400 I think you got to pay attention too, bro.

01:06:58.260 It sounds like.

01:06:59.720 People been trying to tell you.

01:07:00.860 It was on your birth certificate.

01:07:02.480 Your cousins all knew.

01:07:04.260 People were shocked.

01:07:05.240 When you didn't know.

01:07:06.360 I think you got to drop in, dude.

01:07:09.040 And look at.

01:07:10.140 Just some baby pictures and stuff.

01:07:12.180 And see who.

01:07:13.580 The man is.

01:07:14.680 That's next to your mom. 0.99

01:07:17.500 And I think.

01:07:19.320 It's going to blow your mind, dude.

01:07:22.100 Praise, bro.

01:07:22.800 Let's hear another call that came in here.

01:07:28.060 Here we go.

01:07:31.060 Hey, T.O.

01:07:33.800 My name is Noah.

01:07:35.280 I'm just basically calling to let you know that.

01:07:37.340 A lot of what you say is pretty much exactly how I feel, man.

01:07:40.600 When you talk about being addicted to your emotions.

01:07:42.500 I completely understand that.

01:07:44.060 I feel the exact same way.

01:07:45.860 I'm in recovery also.

01:07:47.100 And I'm 57 days sober today.

01:07:49.040 And.

01:07:49.600 My man.

01:07:52.600 Congratulations, bro.

01:07:54.940 57 days.

01:07:56.380 How wild is that?

01:07:58.020 You know, you know, you know, you know how few people in the world have ever done anything for 57 days.

01:08:06.500 Especially giving up something we liked.

01:08:10.040 Dude, you it's hard.

01:08:13.420 It's it's.

01:08:14.340 I'm one day off vaping right now, bro. 0.99

01:08:17.620 And I want to fucking smoke a bowl out of my own nuts, bro. 0.99

01:08:21.180 Pure nicotine. 0.99

01:08:22.040 So it's really magical, man, to see you have in this these 57 days, man.

01:08:30.260 Onward. 1.00

01:08:31.320 This shit just gets overwhelming sometimes, man. 1.00

01:08:33.900 You know, I thought getting sober would solve most of my problems. 1.00

01:08:36.720 But I guess life's a little bit more complicated than that.

01:08:40.520 You know, if I was carried around this anger with me that I can't really put my finger on, you know.

01:08:44.500 Just the littlest things will set me off, like dropping something or bumping into something.

01:08:50.000 I'll be screaming in my head for for hours.

01:08:53.540 Oh, man, I can really relate to that.

01:08:56.600 If there's an inanimate object, I can tell how I'm doing right in the morning.

01:09:00.140 I bump into something on the way out of my room.

01:09:04.360 And I used to be that I'd be so angry. 1.00

01:09:08.120 Bogus, motherfucker. 1.00

01:09:09.400 This piece of shit. 1.00

01:09:10.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:10.940 I'll burn you. 1.00

01:09:12.020 I will burn you. 1.00

01:09:14.500 I will put you in a fireplace. 1.00

01:09:17.460 You know, I would just yell that at pieces of furniture.

01:09:21.640 But now, you know what I noticed the other day?

01:09:23.320 I'm able.

01:09:25.000 Sometimes I'll go.

01:09:30.340 I'm able to laugh because I don't see that the fact that I bumped into something.

01:09:33.640 I don't see it as any reflection of who I am.

01:09:37.040 Or any reflection that the world is trying to get me.

01:09:40.640 Or the world is angry at me.

01:09:43.500 And I only say that just to say that those feelings of anger you still have, it can adjust.

01:09:51.080 Let's hear more. 1.00

01:09:51.720 You know, I like to say that if someone else spoke to me the way that I speak to myself, you know, I'd have to kill that son of a bitch because, you know, I couldn't tolerate that. 1.00

01:10:01.100 I don't know why we're just so mean to ourselves, man. 0.99

01:10:03.960 You know, I get, I don't know why I get so addicted to things. 0.99

01:10:06.800 You know, I'm even addicted to damn nasal spray. 0.96

01:10:09.340 You know, that's about the hardest thing I've had to keep, to be honest with you. 0.95

01:10:12.780 Man, I appreciate your honesty here.

01:10:17.280 Yeah, look, I had a non-addictive, I had a non-addictive nasal spray that I had for a while that, sometimes I'd pull up, if I was going to a bar or something, I'd do a hit in each nose before I'd go in.

01:10:30.840 It didn't even do anything to me.

01:10:32.780 It gave me a little bit of a flashback of probably doing a drug or something, you know, and just kind of heighten my senses in a weird way.

01:10:41.040 They are, but yeah, man, I'm sorry that you are so mean to yourself, you know, and I don't mean that as a reflection of who you are because I know, like me, you don't want to be, you know, you don't want to be.

01:11:02.440 But if you're like us, you have some of this that we have, this ism, this alcoholism, this uncomfort, it's really an uncomfort that just lives in us.

01:11:23.640 Yeah, you're probably going to be real hard on yourself.

01:11:25.780 You know, I think I was always extremely hard on people.

01:11:30.920 That's the number one note people have given me.

01:11:33.700 Man, you're so hard on yourself.

01:11:39.080 And I think I used to think that if I wasn't hard on myself,

01:11:50.540 then nobody was, let me think about this.

01:11:53.300 If I wasn't hard on myself.

01:11:58.440 Because when I was young, nobody was anything on me, you know.

01:12:03.600 And so I realized, I thought maybe if I was hard on myself or maybe if I was perfect.

01:12:09.720 You know, I used to think, I realized this the other day.

01:12:12.060 I used to think that.

01:12:16.700 Well, I expected myself to be perfect, so then I would never was because it's impossible.

01:12:20.480 So then, therefore, I'm so hard on myself, you know.

01:12:24.760 Because I thought that I wasn't cared for as a child, and I'm not trying to self-pity.

01:12:31.000 I'm just looking at what was a part of my life.

01:12:34.140 That I wasn't cared for as a child, so therefore, I took it on myself.

01:12:38.740 Oh, if I was better, if I was perfect, then I would be loved, you know.

01:12:44.720 I'm not perfect enough.

01:12:46.880 I'm not good enough, you know.

01:12:49.860 I'm not good enough for my mother to see me.

01:12:51.960 I'm not good enough for my father to stay alive.

01:12:58.040 If I had this epiphany not long ago, that I thought that if I was better, if I was perfect, if I did everything right as a kid, I thought this.

01:13:08.560 I didn't know until just recently that I thought it, but it came up.

01:13:11.540 That if I did everything right, that my father would stay alive.

01:13:19.460 That's what I thought for some reason as a kid.

01:13:22.580 You know, nobody explained to me what was going on or how things worked or that dad was getting, you know.

01:13:28.560 I just knew my dad was older and that he was not going to be alive for a long time.

01:13:32.020 And as a child, I thought maybe if I'm perfect, if I'm perfect, you know, that my life would be different, you know, and more specifically that my dad would stay alive.

01:13:45.960 I thought that.

01:13:46.880 I don't know how I came up with that or what made me think that as a kid.

01:13:51.080 But at least then it gave me some control over what was going to happen.

01:13:54.980 Because now it's some of it's something it's up to me, you know, even though it's not realistic, it's impossible for that to come to fruition, but it's up to me then.

01:14:10.420 So that's why I think I was so hard on myself a lot of times, I think, because then at least it.

01:14:17.000 It puts it on me.

01:14:21.400 Which was the only thing that I felt I could try and rely on anyway.

01:14:25.940 Because I didn't feel comfortable in the world.

01:14:30.880 And that's not some down.

01:14:31.960 I'm not trying to down or anybody.

01:14:34.640 But I thought about that.

01:14:35.680 Let's hear more, brother.

01:14:36.380 Thanks for the call.

01:14:37.460 Yeah, that's enough bitching for me, man. 1.00

01:14:38.860 I just wanted to tell you thanks and that you want to learn, man.

01:14:42.260 You know, there's a ton of days where your podcast was the only time I smiled that day.

01:14:46.100 So keep doing the Lord's work, man.

01:14:48.340 Take care of yourself.

01:14:49.660 Gang. 0.66

01:14:51.660 Thanks, bro.

01:14:53.060 You too, man.

01:14:53.960 You know, I'm proud of you, dude.

01:14:55.240 It's hard.

01:14:57.180 You know.

01:15:02.880 I'm proud of you.

01:15:03.800 I'm proud of you because I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves.

01:15:13.000 You know, I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves.

01:15:15.680 I know that for me, I never wanted to take care of myself because if I took care of myself, then I was doing somebody else's job.

01:15:28.820 Instead, I wanted to show, I just always wanted to show you how much I was hurting, you know.

01:15:34.640 And so starting to take care of myself was doing the opposite of that.

01:15:40.740 And it was the opposite of the whole thing that I was like, oh, you're going to see when you look at me, you're going to see how much I hurt, you know.

01:15:48.360 And starting to take care of myself is a total opposite of that.

01:15:52.640 So I hear that in you today.

01:15:55.000 And I'm thankful for that, man.

01:15:57.160 I really am.

01:15:58.340 And I'm grateful that I have moments like this.

01:16:00.780 These are moments that mean something to me.

01:16:03.460 You know, two guys being trying to be honest and not even being gay and just being honest. 0.66

01:16:08.900 Because these are moments I never had as a child.

01:16:12.780 I never had – there was never any peace in my house.

01:16:15.440 There was never a chance for anybody even to listen or to be heard.

01:16:20.440 There was never even any peace of space to think or to feel.

01:16:24.760 There was no space for that.

01:16:27.720 And so it's moments like this, you know, where I can have an honest conversation with somebody.

01:16:35.020 I'd have given anything, you know, to have these as a child.

01:16:37.620 And children need these sort of things. 1.00

01:16:41.220 So anyway, bro, yeah, enough fucking – enough of that shit for me too, bro. 1.00

01:16:45.260 But praise, man. 1.00

01:16:46.220 I'm happy for you.

01:16:47.740 And happy Thanksgiving, man.

01:16:49.340 You made my day.

01:16:50.400 You really did, brother.

01:16:51.260 Praise God.

01:16:53.040 Let's hear what else we got, man.

01:16:58.740 And don't give up, dog.

01:17:00.400 Stay in there.

01:17:01.580 57, man.

01:17:02.540 Stay in there, baby.

01:17:03.420 Let me see.

01:17:09.960 Here we go.

01:17:12.740 Hey, Dio.

01:17:13.560 What's up, man?

01:17:14.120 This is Robert calling out of Fort Worth.

01:17:17.020 What's up, Robert?

01:17:18.520 Out of Fort Worth, baby.

01:17:19.800 I love Texas.

01:17:22.060 It's a good place.

01:17:25.380 That's great, man.

01:17:26.280 Fort Worth.

01:17:26.940 I've been down there.

01:17:28.220 I used to go down there to Randy Butler's Comedy Room, one of my favorite comedy rooms I used to have down there.

01:17:32.480 I can't remember the name of it offhand.

01:17:35.340 But, God, he had probably the best – I mean, he might have had the best comedy room in the country when they used to have it.

01:17:42.200 It was underground over there in Fort Worth.

01:17:45.020 And you could get you a little comedy out in there and get you a little liquor and even get you a little leg or a little titty sometime afterwards out there.

01:17:52.360 Meet you somebody.

01:17:53.440 Praise God.

01:17:54.080 Brother onward.

01:17:55.420 Big fan.

01:17:57.140 Anyways, well, I have a question, man.

01:17:59.160 And I know you have a lot of comedy stuff, a lot of funny stuff, which I watch for.

01:18:02.780 But I have, like, a serious question.

01:18:04.700 Okay, so here it is.

01:18:06.040 So me and my fiancée, we've been together for about six months, seven months.

01:18:11.540 And, well, she has some court dates coming up.

01:18:14.120 And she's facing some time.

01:18:15.580 She's facing about eight years.

01:18:17.700 Now, I don't know if I should – I mean, I really don't know what I should do.

01:18:20.900 Should I break it off before she goes or should I wait for her for eight years or what should I do, man?

01:18:28.800 I mean, I really, really love her.

01:18:30.060 She's a really good woman.

01:18:31.580 And we have a lot of good times together, man.

01:18:33.780 But, you know, I'm a man.

01:18:35.060 And not only because I have needs because it's not even about that.

01:18:38.040 It's just about the – you know, I mean, that's a long time to wait.

01:18:41.460 I mean, she might not do a full eight, but she'll probably do, I don't know, maybe two, three, four, five years.

01:18:46.460 Bang, baby. 0.71

01:18:47.840 Gang, baby. 0.75

01:18:48.480 Crime, you know.

01:18:52.120 And this is a crime call, you know.

01:18:55.500 And this is where hopefully she got with Morgan and Morgan over there.

01:18:57.780 They do good attorney work.

01:19:00.420 I don't know who she got getting her the years or getting out of them or whatever.

01:19:03.520 But I'll say this, man.

01:19:08.500 First of all, how the times have changed.

01:19:12.020 This is a call you would hear during World War, World War I, World War II, World War III.

01:19:18.480 When people, when wives, their husband going off to military or they're in a POW camp, what do I do?

01:19:25.840 They call in, you know, on the ring phone in the – you know, what do I do?

01:19:30.560 Do I wait for Andy?

01:19:32.580 Do I wait for Ricardo?

01:19:34.040 I mean, look, it depends on what type of life you want to lead.

01:19:40.700 There's something beautiful about waiting for someone.

01:19:44.840 There's something romantic about it.

01:19:46.620 There's something really perfect about it because you get to keep them in this space in your head where they're perfect.

01:19:53.020 They can't really do any wrong because they don't have to.

01:19:57.380 It's almost – sometimes waiting for somebody can be a sense of control.

01:20:02.720 I'm going to wait for you.

01:20:04.320 But really what I'm doing, not all the time, but really what I'm doing is I'm going to say I'm going to keep this in a perfect place where it's manageable because I don't really have to interact with it.

01:20:13.060 It's almost like something I can just keep on the shelf right here.

01:20:17.380 I can communicate with it when I need to.

01:20:19.580 I can get what I need from it.

01:20:22.160 In some ways, I have somebody to care about, but I don't physically have to have them there.

01:20:26.920 I'm not saying you're doing that.

01:20:28.280 I'm saying I've done that in my life in relationships. 1.00

01:20:34.900 But damn, dude. 0.99

01:20:35.860 But then also you're going to have to do them conjugal visits or whatever. 0.99

01:20:38.500 Or you're going to have to sneak over there at night and just Andy Dufresne your wiener through that chain link fence and let your girl, let Molly or whatever her name is over there, you know, knob you off over there before the spotlight hits you. 1.00

01:20:54.520 Because I can't ejaculate under a sheer spotlight. 0.98

01:20:57.720 Anything over probably 120 watts, buddy, I can't come, you know. 0.91

01:21:02.920 And that's who I am.

01:21:04.220 But if there's a strong, you know, if I'm getting an HJ and a boat pulls up or something, you know, or if damn two, even two coal miners walk up while I'm getting a handy, bro, I can't, I can't ejac around more than probably about 120 watts of straight light.

01:21:27.180 So, but that's me, you know, that's me.

01:21:30.720 And I think it's brave.

01:21:31.980 Now, then how far do you want to go?

01:21:34.220 Do you want to make her stuff and mail her things?

01:21:38.020 Do you want to have an apron also?

01:21:41.160 Because I'm sure there's a whole club of men, men who love prison women. 0.70

01:21:46.340 Let me look it up.

01:21:47.120 Men who love prison women. 0.95

01:21:52.400 Couldn't.

01:21:52.860 Oh.

01:21:55.100 Hmm.

01:21:58.440 Let me see.

01:21:59.560 Husbands of imprison.

01:22:01.560 Women. 0.81

01:22:04.360 Women. 0.98

01:22:07.160 They killed their husbands and now in prison.

01:22:10.800 That's not you, man, because you're calling in.

01:22:16.120 I don't know.

01:22:17.080 I'd get it.

01:22:17.500 You know, I'm sure you could get some information about this.

01:22:20.860 But look, I think it's admirable of you.

01:22:23.580 You know, men used to go off to war and the women would wait for him. 0.99

01:22:27.440 You know?

01:22:28.440 And I think if your baby bird's over there in prison, you know, and you can keep your seed in the feeder, then yeah, you could wait until she gets out.

01:22:39.000 You know?

01:22:41.280 And then also you may be able to set up a situation with her where you say, look, I'm going to date.

01:22:46.600 I love you.

01:22:48.020 And this is, I'm going to date you while you're there.

01:22:49.980 So then at least you also can be honest with her in case you want to date outside of there.

01:22:53.200 You give yourself the opportunity to still fall in love, you know?

01:22:56.440 Because then you don't want to have a thing, I don't think, where you're cheating and having to lie about it.

01:23:05.060 That's when you're skating on dirty ice, baby.

01:23:08.100 But praise, brother.

01:23:09.000 I hope you, you know, I think it's really kind of you to even think about that.

01:23:12.880 And I think it shows some awareness for who you are as a person.

01:23:15.980 And I think as long as you're honest with her about what you're thinking, bro, that's really going to be nice.

01:23:21.260 You know?

01:23:21.640 And so bless you, man, and good luck over there.

01:23:26.440 Let me see.

01:23:33.080 Let's see here what else we got.

01:23:36.420 Hey, G'day Theo.

01:23:37.500 It's Andrew here from Brisbane.

01:23:38.840 How are you going?

01:23:40.680 Hey, Andrew from Brisbane.

01:23:42.980 How are you going, mister?

01:23:45.100 I've always wanted to call in with something funny, you know, like the rest of them or something interesting.

01:23:49.760 But I was listening to your podcast and you were saying you don't have to call in with something interesting.

01:23:54.260 You can just call up with, you know, what you do for a living.

01:23:58.000 So I'm a milkman.

01:23:59.820 I deliver milk around Brisbane.

01:24:02.340 Start working around 2 o'clock in the morning.

01:24:04.340 Thank you for calling, Andrew.

01:24:10.180 Any milkman that's working at 2 a.m., bro.

01:24:16.040 You know what I'm saying?

01:24:17.040 We both know what you're doing, baby.

01:24:20.100 You know?

01:24:21.700 You're out there slinging that body milk, son. 1.00

01:24:25.820 That fucking blue percent. 1.00

01:24:27.520 You know what I'm talking about, dude. 1.00

01:24:28.860 You're out there balling out in people's gardens.

01:24:31.000 Let's hear more.

01:24:31.620 And I finish around 11 o'clock, so I've got the whole day to be at home.

01:24:35.940 And, you know, I love it.

01:24:38.100 And also, I guess that's probably why they blame the milkman.

01:24:42.080 Because, you know, I'm at home all afternoon while the rest of the blokes are at work, working hard.

01:24:47.260 So big ups, big love, Theo.

01:24:49.160 Love your show.

01:24:50.640 Praise, brother.

01:24:51.300 Thank you for calling Australia.

01:24:52.800 I didn't even know you.

01:24:53.400 I mean, I guess, yeah.

01:24:54.420 I never even thought about y'all having milk, Ovenair.

01:24:56.700 But I guess it makes sense y'all would have milk. 0.99

01:25:02.360 But damn, let me tell you, bro. 0.99

01:25:03.920 If you're rolling up at somebody's house with a couple of jugs, baby, at 2 a.m., dude, that's... 1.00

01:25:12.700 You a pervert, bro. 1.00

01:25:15.240 You a pervert, man. 1.00

01:25:16.680 And, you know, I think this is God talking through me right now. 1.00

01:25:23.660 I mean, damn. 1.00

01:25:25.040 Like, fuck, I don't know, man. 1.00

01:25:27.080 Maybe I'm being too mean to you, but I just... 1.00

01:25:29.860 Maybe, I don't know.

01:25:30.900 Maybe there's something nice about it. 0.99

01:25:33.880 You out there just damn fucking leaving people a little bit of yogurt, bro. 1.00

01:25:37.960 You out there girting on people. 1.00

01:25:39.760 Girting, you know, just right, you know.

01:25:42.140 Leave a little canister of girt by the door.

01:25:44.200 You out there girting for mom, girting for dad, or whatever. 0.99

01:25:49.560 I mean, damn, I don't know. 0.99

01:25:52.360 I remember the first time I ever even had a little bit of yogurt, bro. 0.99

01:25:55.900 I thought, damn. 1.00

01:25:58.620 Somebody's gay, bro. 1.00

01:25:59.900 You know, not me, but whoever's making it or whatever. 0.97

01:26:02.920 Somewhere along the chain of command, somebody's gayed out or something on this. 0.97

01:26:07.180 Because how else are they even doing this?

01:26:08.860 It's putting all of, you know...

01:26:11.020 It was strawberry, so...

01:26:15.480 But good luck over there, bro.

01:26:16.820 Stay alive.

01:26:17.660 God bless you, Australia.

01:26:18.760 I cannot wait to come there.

01:26:20.360 I'm looking to make a trip next, I believe, Thanksgiving before Christmas to have like a time over there in Aus to do a few weeks and do some shows.

01:26:28.720 Maybe sooner, but I want to come, I think, in the summer, I guess.

01:26:31.280 I don't know.

01:26:31.720 What's the best time to come?

01:26:32.780 Let me know.

01:26:35.500 As well, we're looking to hire somebody who works in videography, clips, making good social clips and that sort of thing.

01:26:43.420 You can send a DM to the This Past Weekend producer Instagram account.

01:26:52.580 That's the way to do that.

01:26:54.720 Let's get one more call here.

01:26:56.180 What do we have?

01:26:57.020 What's good, bro?

01:27:00.180 Marco over here in Las Vegas.

01:27:01.660 Hey, I'm not a new podcast fan.

01:27:03.720 I've seen your specials and all, but I didn't know you had a podcast.

01:27:05.960 Well, I'm sure you did, but I just never looked it up.

01:27:09.100 And, you know, I've been binge-watching, you know, it's October all the way back in February.

01:27:13.620 And I was just the one where you talk about, like, your feelings and your mom.

01:27:16.300 And, you know, I just want to ask, how are you doing with that?

01:27:18.160 Like, how are you feeling?

01:27:19.440 How's life been treating you?

01:27:21.000 How's your relationship?

01:27:22.580 You know, how's the...

01:27:24.600 I know that ayahuasca helped you out.

01:27:26.200 I hope you see some things, feel some things.

01:27:29.620 But, you know, I just want to see how you're feeling, man.

01:27:31.240 I really appreciate the podcast.

01:27:32.520 I appreciate everything you do, the way you talk to us, you know, even though you're not really talking to us.

01:27:38.120 But I feel like you're talking to us, you know.

01:27:39.780 Praise God.

01:27:40.440 Gang, gang.

01:27:41.280 Gang, baby. 0.75

01:27:41.880 Thank you.

01:27:42.280 Thank you for the question, man.

01:27:43.680 This kind of stuff, yeah.

01:27:45.040 You know, I love thinking about this type of thing.

01:27:47.780 And, yeah, the ayahuasca was very helpful.

01:27:50.480 It was tough going through all that.

01:27:52.720 I mean, it's a grueling thing.

01:27:54.280 It's just, until you've gone through it and really done it is, I mean, it's a lot on your body. 0.89

01:28:00.920 It's basically, it's a damn, I mean, you're out there and, you know, it's like buds for your emotions. 0.95

01:28:09.800 You know, you're doing a lot. 0.98

01:28:10.880 Yeah, I'm still kind of getting a little bit more clarity on some of it.

01:28:17.880 But it's amazing how, over time, it gets clearer and how, over time, it still helps me.

01:28:28.140 I'm so grateful for that experience.

01:28:29.880 I'm, you know, yeah, I didn't get what I needed as a kid.

01:28:38.340 I didn't get it.

01:28:39.620 I didn't get it.

01:28:42.100 And, you know, I realized I've had a tough time growing up in my life.

01:28:48.720 I'm a late bloomer.

01:28:51.060 And that's okay.

01:28:51.960 I had a really tough time growing up in my life.

01:29:01.440 You know, and when I was young, when I was a kid, you know, my dad wasn't around.

01:29:04.480 My, and my dad was very old and my mother worked and my mother had sort of an emotional condition

01:29:12.280 where she couldn't, she didn't look at me a lot and she didn't, she didn't like come to me if I, 0.58

01:29:26.460 if I was hurt, if I was like physically hurt, then she would react.

01:29:31.060 But if I was just like had some emotional pain or she, my mother wouldn't come to me.

01:29:37.540 She had a tough time putting her hands on me. 1.00

01:29:39.440 Um, so that was just how things were, right?

01:29:44.580 I, you know, that was, that's, that's okay.

01:29:47.360 Um, it's not okay, but that's, was life.

01:29:50.260 Um, but I realized as an adult, uh, that I never wanted to grow up.

01:29:57.680 I never wanted to grow up.

01:29:59.280 I was a late bloomer and I didn't want to grow up.

01:30:00.800 And I realized why, because I still wanted to be that kid, right?

01:30:10.140 Because if I grow up, I was still wanting to be that kid.

01:30:16.620 I still wanted my mother to come around my, you know, I still was waiting on these things

01:30:20.220 that I didn't get as a child.

01:30:21.460 And I was waiting in every sense I could, I was, I was trying to stay as young as I could

01:30:29.000 and be, and because once I evolved, once I become an adult, that kid doesn't even exist

01:30:34.120 anymore and he doesn't exist anyway.

01:30:36.300 But I, there's something inside of me.

01:30:37.840 It's like, if I can just, if I can just not grow up, then I'll be able to still be this

01:30:43.300 kid.

01:30:43.740 And I'll, and whenever the things come in that I needed, I'll be here to get them.

01:30:51.820 But that was never going to happen.

01:30:53.560 And at a certain point, me just staying a child forever was, uh, it was just robbing me of

01:31:01.620 becoming an adult.

01:31:04.960 Um, and man, it's really hard to let go.

01:31:11.560 Uh, it's really hard to let go and grow up.

01:31:17.140 Um, cause I'm the last, cause once I do that, there's no, that kid doesn't even, you know,

01:31:23.000 he's not even there anymore.

01:31:25.120 I mean, he's still there deep inside of me, but he's not like they're waiting, you know?

01:31:31.620 Um, and I'm not saying this, I don't need any self pity.

01:31:34.940 I'm okay with this.

01:31:36.220 I have some feelings around it.

01:31:37.780 You know, it's a little bit emotional for me to think about.

01:31:40.540 Um, yeah, I don't know.

01:31:44.200 Um, there's, there's more in it and I'll think about some more of it and talk about

01:31:48.360 it more in the future.

01:31:49.460 Um, but, but yeah, if I didn't have that ayahuasca, I would never have gotten that understanding.

01:31:56.980 I would have never gotten under the understanding that, uh, I'm still waiting.

01:32:02.460 There's so much of me that's still just a child waiting for what he was supposed to get

01:32:08.520 as a kid.

01:32:10.220 Um, cause I couldn't figure it out.

01:32:12.500 I couldn't get any, I couldn't get a look at myself.

01:32:17.940 I couldn't get a step back from me to see me enough to say, okay, here's what's going

01:32:24.360 on.

01:32:25.260 And the ayahuasca really helped it, man.

01:32:27.320 It gives you, you could look at through yourself through a microscope or you could look through

01:32:31.220 binoculars and you can do it all at the same time.

01:32:33.280 And so that was a real gift.

01:32:35.840 Um, and, uh, yeah.

01:32:39.720 Okay.

01:32:40.060 What's up?

01:32:40.520 Let me get some, some more for you guys, man.

01:32:42.700 This has been a lot about me and I'm sorry about that.

01:32:45.840 Um, oh, we got a miracle.

01:32:47.760 This fellow had called, you know, he'd lost his, uh, he'd jump on a bomb in the war.

01:32:52.060 And, um, we were talking about having him on as a, uh, as a, uh, one of our miracle guests

01:32:57.440 and let's hear a little more. 0.99

01:32:58.980 He called back the rat king, big dog. 0.98

01:33:02.840 Hey man, baby. 0.97

01:33:04.000 Hey, I just listened to this most recent, uh, solo episode, dog.

01:33:11.220 And he mentioned me.

01:33:12.840 Um, I sincerely appreciate you brother.

01:33:15.620 Sincerely, dude.

01:33:16.920 Uh, Iwamente brother.

01:33:18.840 Thank you.

01:33:19.580 Thanks for everything, man.

01:33:20.840 Um, and yeah, man, I, I did serve, uh, in the Marine Corps from, uh, 2007 to 2013, dog.

01:33:29.040 Obviously I had to get out because of my lake situation.

01:33:31.960 Oh, sorry to laugh.

01:33:33.100 I think you made me laugh, bro.

01:33:34.340 Onward.

01:33:35.580 Um, but yeah, man.

01:33:37.120 I don't know.

01:33:37.740 I'd take a one-legged Marine, bro. 0.99

01:33:39.400 A lot of times over fucking, some of these cats is, that's it, that's in somebody's 1.00

01:33:43.980 choice, bro. 1.00

01:33:45.760 I'd take a damn, dude. 1.00

01:33:46.900 I would take a fucking two-armed Marine if he's walking on his arms, bro. 1.00

01:33:50.560 And he could shoot a gun with his, with his dick. 1.00

01:33:53.620 I'll fuck, that dude could run it, bro. 1.00

01:33:55.500 Gang. 1.00

01:33:56.720 Uh, much love and respect.

01:33:58.060 You can call me at 209.

01:34:00.300 Okay, great.

01:34:00.980 And I'll stop it right there.

01:34:01.900 You thought we were going to leave your number out there.

01:34:03.500 That would have been bad.

01:34:04.300 Um, man, you know, I think this is a great place to, to, to pull the episode over to the

01:34:08.600 side because, you know, just to hear the joy, the, the ability in your voice to have some

01:34:14.240 joy, man, when you've had such an experience, you know, such an experience, man, of sacrifice

01:34:21.720 and of, um, I'm sure of adjustment and of ways to find gratitude now, uh, which are all

01:34:30.560 things that I think we will, we will talk about you.

01:34:32.220 We'll reach out and we'll get it done.

01:34:33.840 We'll get you on there.

01:34:34.580 Uh, and then, in the coming, um, when we get another solo episode, we'll put you on

01:34:38.460 it, man.

01:34:38.840 So we'll figure that out.

01:34:40.560 Uh, if you know a miracle or someone, or you are a miracle or somebody, um, 985-664-9503.

01:34:49.460 Uh, if there's something going on you're struggling with hit the hotline as well.

01:34:53.840 Look, sometimes it might take a year to hear back from us.

01:34:56.460 Sometimes you might never hear back.

01:34:58.060 Um, we do what we can.

01:34:59.940 Uh, we're going to try to work on it more in the new year, um, about just having maybe

01:35:06.100 somebody on board that that is their job to help moderate, uh, because, you know, we're

01:35:12.900 still figuring it all out.

01:35:14.460 Um, and look, I'm a late bloomer, baby.

01:35:18.060 When it comes to everything, even with business, I didn't want anybody to help me for years.

01:35:21.860 I couldn't let anybody help me.

01:35:23.340 And now I know I need help.

01:35:24.480 You know, I need help on the outside.

01:35:28.400 I need help on the inside and that's okay, man.

01:35:31.700 Uh, but thank you.

01:35:34.460 Thank you.

01:35:35.240 Uh, Marine.

01:35:36.380 I don't know if that's a Sergeant.

01:35:37.440 No, Marina, a Corporal.

01:35:40.220 Thank you, Marine, uh, for your, uh, sacrifice and, um, and for your attitude, even just in

01:35:50.540 that call, man, I can hear you excited.

01:35:53.080 You're, you know, that's cool.

01:35:55.800 And that's the power of each other because I, I hear you say that, man.

01:35:59.000 And it makes me feel, man, here's a, um, here's a man who has probably, who was a really

01:36:05.020 capable man.

01:36:07.100 I mean, Marines are physically capable men, you know, who lost something, who lost a

01:36:11.700 dang, you know, who lost something and can't do as much physical anymore.

01:36:15.900 And he's finding ways, man, you know, he's finding ways to have pride and, uh, and to

01:36:24.180 keep his life going on powerfully, um, just gives us all a lot to be thankful for and thankful

01:36:30.860 for you, um, and anybody who serves, uh, and if you just serve your family as a father, if

01:36:39.340 you serve your nieces and nephews as a uncle or an aunt, if you serve your spouse, because

01:36:45.800 they're going through a tough time and you get home a few minutes early and instead of

01:36:52.820 jumping on the couch, you make them a cookie or you write them a little note.

01:36:58.120 Um, if you serve your higher power where you hit your knees and you say, Hey, I need

01:37:03.980 some help or sometimes I'll just, I like to, sometimes now just, I like praying for other

01:37:12.400 people that's important in my life because I'm not, it's not really a religious thing.

01:37:17.300 It's just me thinking about them, um, and not thinking about me.

01:37:25.460 We got a lot to be thankful for baby.

01:37:27.460 Praise God.

01:37:29.320 And, uh, I love you guys.

01:37:31.280 Thank you so much for being a part of my life.

01:37:32.940 Um, I feel so grateful to be able to be here today and to be able to just try and speak

01:37:37.020 honestly.

01:37:38.280 Um, we live in a world where, and in a society, especially in America where, uh, there's a

01:37:43.820 lot of, um, caps on if you can communicate honestly or not, or even question things.

01:37:50.920 Um, and we'll try our best to do what we can and, uh, and that's okay, but you guys be good

01:37:59.480 to yourselves, man.

01:38:00.420 You deserve it.

01:38:02.040 Um, I know you do.

01:38:05.560 I know you do.

01:38:06.560 And, uh, what else?

01:38:08.800 Dang.

01:38:09.040 I don't know.

01:38:09.560 I thought we should have gotten into more funny stuff, but we tried our best and that's

01:38:12.520 okay.

01:38:13.440 Let's go out the way that we rolled into this bad cat, baby.

01:38:16.260 You know who it is right here.

01:38:17.340 I got them for you.

01:38:18.840 Um, gang.

01:38:24.540 I know you've heard it before.

01:38:27.320 A lady sent me a video of her kids singing this yesterday, man.

01:38:33.120 It was cool.

01:38:34.140 I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my home.

01:38:48.000 And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been long.

01:38:56.560 Travis McCready.

01:38:57.600 I'm just sitting on the breeze, and I feel a woman like these leaves, I must be cornerstone.

01:39:08.000 Happy Thanksgiving.

01:39:08.840 Make it count.

01:39:11.900 Hug somebody.

01:39:12.900 Hold that hug.

01:39:13.660 Hold the line with it.

01:39:14.600 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time for me to sit back.

01:39:27.600 I'll sit and tell you my story.

01:39:42.040 Ooh, shine on me, and I will find a song.

01:39:50.820 I will sing it just for you.

01:39:55.940 That's it, baby.

01:39:56.860 You guys be good to yourself.

01:39:58.060 Happy Thanksgiving.

01:39:59.120 We'll be back next week with, um, uh, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and he's the space baby, you

01:40:06.520 know?

01:40:07.080 He's that tall space baby, dang.

01:40:09.700 You know? 1.00

01:40:10.380 He's that damn who looked at a ladder and said, nah, fuck it. 1.00

01:40:13.380 I want more. 1.00

01:40:15.000 So, uh, intrigued to have him back, and intrigued to have you back.

01:40:19.400 Hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:40:22.780 Three, and, um, that's it, gang.

01:40:26.420 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll

01:40:36.860 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to

01:40:41.560 pleasure your partner.

01:40:43.120 The answer may shock you.

01:40:44.420 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:40:46.920 Sometimes I won't.

01:40:48.600 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:40:51.560 You have three new voice messages.

01:40:54.580 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:40:57.440 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:41:00.120 Longer than anybody else.

01:41:01.760 So great.

01:41:02.320 Hey, sweetheart, here's a deal. 1.00

01:41:06.120 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 0.99

01:41:10.040 Do you know what I mean? 0.99

01:41:11.300 Oh, hi.

01:41:12.180 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:41:15.100 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:41:17.200 Oh, no.

01:41:18.680 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:41:21.920 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:41:26.100 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:41:30.300 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube,

01:41:35.440 yeah?

01:41:36.080 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

01:41:39.160 Thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 22, 2022

E419 Gangsgiving

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