E424 James Blake
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 47 minutes
Words per Minute
181.68002
Summary
James Blayton is a Grammy Award Winning Musician and Producer. He has produced music for and with some of the top artists in the world. He s a friend of mine and someone I really enjoy talking to and haven t gotten to speak with in a while. I m excited to catch up with him to learn more about his creative process, and to just spend some time furthering our friendship.
Transcript
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Today's guest is a Grammy Award winning musician and producer.
00:02:39.240
He's one of the most creative people I've ever met.
00:02:43.500
And he's someone I really enjoy talking to and haven't gotten to speak with him in a while.
00:02:52.620
He has produced music and written music for and with some of the top artists in the world.
00:03:02.000
I'm excited today to catch up with him, to learn a little bit more about his creative process,
00:03:07.140
and to just spend some time furthering our friendship.
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Today's guest is the one and only James Blayton.
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Yeah, like, what they call a lazy boy doesn't exist in England, I don't think.
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Well, I think because we got it, once they got to America, people probably got more lazy, I would guess, right?
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Like, I think the first chairs didn't even have a seat on it.
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It's funny that we got to America and created a lot of, like, lazy stuff, you know, maybe.
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I don't know where the lazy stereotype came from.
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Yeah, especially around the time when they got it.
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Well, I think, yeah, because then they hit the Industrial Revolution, you know.
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And so if somebody says England, is that more top shelf than, say, in Britain?
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I mean, everywhere in Britain is, you know, it's just a sort of...
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It's a collection of places when you say Britain.
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I'm also probably a mix of a lot of different things, you know, historically.
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I mean, the Welsh is, I think it's a dominant gene.
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I don't have a good, you know, I believe in it.
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I've seen a lot of the, you know, I believe, I just, I mean, I gotta see.
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I feel like you have better posture inside of your soul.
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Like, that's what I think it feels like when you talk, when the British, they have like.
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I think this, this, this myth that we're sophisticated is very, it's pervasive.
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And I think, I think it's just the way we sound.
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I think sometimes phonetics and like someone's accent can make them seem something.
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And then it's just all, can be complete bollocks.
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Yeah, because the British, they sound like when they're talking, like there's perfectly set
00:07:05.420
When I hear someone British talking, like even to that little spoon and you're like, what
00:07:10.300
When they say it's for shrimp, you're like, how would you even use this on a shrimp, you
00:07:16.640
The little spoon is for, I mean, for sugar in tea, I guess.
00:07:23.640
I mean, the spoon differences in size of teaspoons here, it, you know, it catches me out a lot
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just when I'm making, if you want to make anything.
00:07:34.600
But yeah, I think when I see British people, I guess there is like that.
00:07:39.340
I feel like I, I feel like I'm like they came out of the library and they're giving me
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information for, I feel like there's something about it to, to an American person, you know?
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I just, again, I don't know where it comes from because I think when I came over here,
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I noticed that a lot of the smartest people I'd met were from over here.
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I mean, I don't know, you know, it's just, you've got smart people everywhere, dumb people
00:08:04.220
And you also were getting into an age where you were probably going to start meeting more
00:08:10.980
And also, you know, when it comes to musicians, we're not, we don't tend to be the most kind
00:08:26.000
I think we're not the best people to have conversations with.
00:08:31.680
Um, so I had to branch out, not because I'm such a great conversationalist, but because
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I just, I noticed that a lot of my conversations with musicians tended to be more one dimensional.
00:08:45.280
And then outside of that, there wasn't like a broad, and I myself didn't have like a broad
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And, and because I think music sort of funnels you into like a, you know, it's a bit like,
00:08:58.080
it's kind of like Pavlovian conditioning, right?
00:09:00.240
If you, if you get, uh, if you're rewarded for, for kind of your, your primary way of
00:09:07.580
speaking, which is through music, probably if you're like a writer or a musician, and
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likelihood is that you're, you're better at articulating your emotions through music.
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And then outside of that, you can be kind of stumped.
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Um, which is, I think you find like a lot of like very sort of socially anxious musicians
00:09:30.320
And then you, then you're rewarded for, for that one expression, you know, constantly,
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And then, then people pay you for that expression.
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No one's, no one's paying you to express yourself in any other way or be funny or whatever
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So yeah, you, so you're going to have so much like, yeah, you start to feel like that's
00:09:54.800
And so that's where your, most of your value is at.
00:10:00.800
And then I think after that, you just start to all the other muscles atrophy.
00:10:06.740
So, so then chatting is not, I mean, when I met my girlfriend, I, I wasn't really finishing
00:10:16.100
sentences because I don't think anyone was sort of required me to.
00:10:24.780
They'd just be like, oh, we know, we know what he means.
00:10:27.600
He's probably, that was probably very funny wherever that was going.
00:10:32.700
Well, this is great because this is how you and I met.
00:10:35.280
I met your girlfriend and, um, she was a comedy fan.
00:10:56.240
Cause I remember one time I saw her at the comedy store and, uh, she was like, yeah, I'm
00:11:01.540
And I was like, I'll, I'll give you a ride home.
00:11:03.680
And I'm just thinking like, I'm like beautiful girl.
00:11:10.420
My hopes have been, you know, I couldn't even, my hopes have been lost.
00:11:13.540
I've been like, I'm like, I'm like literally while she's talking, I'm like, hopes, hopes,
00:11:19.580
So I got my hopes up and, uh, I drive her, um, you know, I drive her.
00:11:24.680
It's, it's in Hollywood and it's kind of in the hills.
00:11:36.200
But, um, and then I, she's like, you have to meet my boy.
00:11:39.880
Well, that's not a good impersonation, but she's like, you've got to meet my boyfriend.
00:11:44.120
And I was like, Oh God, he sounds like a great guy.
00:11:49.360
Um, and she goes, no, he would absolutely love you.
00:11:52.380
Or she might've already said that he's a fan of yours or, yeah.
00:11:55.860
And then, uh, you guys came to the comedy store.
00:12:02.140
Well, yeah, because I think, you know, there's this, um, there's this mutual, like, uh, mutual
00:12:09.380
appreciation, I think between comedians and musicians.
00:12:12.040
I think a lot of musicians want to be comedians and a lot of comedians want to be musicians.
00:12:16.020
And, you know, that's, that's like a general rule, although I haven't ever heard you express
00:12:22.780
Uh, but, and nor, nor do I want to be a comedian, but I think, I, I think there's, I didn't really
00:12:32.040
Uh, and we'd been watching a lot of standup comedy and we'd been going to the like comedy
00:12:36.860
store and we've been going to like different shows and I just kind of felt intimidated
00:12:45.040
Oh, you know, I thought like, not only did I, did I really respect what you did, but I
00:12:50.080
don't get, I don't really get starstruck particularly.
00:12:54.740
Because just through exposure to, you know, the industry and stuff, but I also, but in
00:13:03.060
I was like, wait, I think I told you this before.
00:13:05.600
Um, I was like, I'm, you know, don't have to like, don't have to be on, don't have to
00:13:13.180
Cause your comedy was, was smart and it was funny.
00:13:16.160
And it was, I was like, what's he, and I didn't really understand the difference between
00:13:22.800
the stage and the, the offstage kind of person really.
00:13:27.120
Well, I think it's interesting because yeah, it's funny when I've talked to you sometimes
00:13:30.500
I'm like, dang, do I need to know a lot about music or can I just share about music, how
00:13:35.460
I think and feel about it in that I don't know that much.
00:13:38.680
Do I have to pretend like I know all of the names of every one of your songs?
00:13:42.500
Like, I think that happens a lot of times when you meet somebody of a certain thing,
00:13:46.160
of a certain genre, like what are they going to expect?
00:13:53.480
Um, so, you know, I'll be quizzing you on that later if, you know, when you're ready.
00:13:59.300
There's a, I mean, I do have some, I do have some favorites, man.
00:14:02.020
It's funny you say that you're not that like, um, word, what do you say that words weren't
00:14:11.460
Well, I don't, I'm not saying I'm not in any way articulate.
00:14:14.120
I'm just saying that as a general rule, musicians, like I had to find my words really, you know,
00:14:21.360
Like I think you, if you'd met me maybe sort of seven, eight years ago, I probably would
00:14:26.140
have, well, I probably wouldn't have sustained a friendship for a start because I think I
00:14:30.120
would have been intimidated or not been socially kind of comfortable enough to be, especially
00:14:42.180
We've talked about a lot of this kind of stuff.
00:14:43.740
This is where a lot of our friendship kind of started was talking about that sort of thing.
00:14:47.500
I was admired how open you are about, you know, mental health and like all this other
00:14:52.320
stuff and, and, and your own kind of shortcomings or your own kind of, uh, things you don't
00:15:01.540
And I think that's probably, to me is like a huge strength of yours is, is, is being the
00:15:07.800
voice of people who, who are afraid to ask questions because they're worried that they're
00:15:13.380
going to be, you know, made fun of or, uh, in some way kind of, uh, mocked because, you
00:15:21.000
And I mean, it's hard to do sometimes to ask a question, especially when you feel like
00:15:27.480
the world is so fast and it knows more than you, you know, especially these days, if you
00:15:32.460
feel like you're sometimes from a certain area or from a certain financial class, I would
00:15:38.540
I remember when I was young to ask questions in like a nice person's house.
00:15:41.840
Like if it was a dump, I was like, I was just, you know, I'm just out, you know, I'm Alex
00:15:49.000
Trebeck in there if it's a dump, but if it was a nice place, I'm like, Whoa, I shouldn't
00:15:53.840
be asking nothing in here, you know, what does the little spoon do, you know, stuff like that.
00:15:59.200
But yeah, it was just, it's interesting how like different little comfort worlds that
00:16:03.080
people find and, and where you're okay to communicate and, uh, yeah, it's scary.
00:16:14.440
That's kind of a silly thing to say, but no, but you do it really well.
00:16:17.020
And I think you, you managed to, I mean, I don't know how you sit and talk like on your
00:16:25.980
I mean, it must get hard sometimes because I don't know how you sustain that level of
00:16:34.180
I've, I sometimes, I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, thinking about things that
00:16:39.080
we have in common because I, cause, um, I just, there's some, like, I know we have some kind
00:16:48.000
of like friend chemistry that I sort of like, but as well, but as on top of that, I think
00:16:52.260
we have a kind of, there's some similarity between the way you think and the way I think
00:16:59.780
when it comes to the music and I think sometimes when I, when I, when I see the way you're reaching
00:17:05.680
for words, it's like, um, I find when I'm reaching for chords, sometimes I have to find
00:17:16.800
a kind of abstract chord or like some kind of, well, maybe an unusual, you know, like
00:17:23.160
a, an unusual chord or whatever to, to, to nail the emotion I'm looking for.
00:17:32.680
And it's because the standard ones won't, won't do the standard ones.
00:17:38.140
Don't current, you know, don't quite scratch the itch of what I'm trying to think.
00:17:44.920
It's not the, you want to, you're very specific.
00:17:47.940
And it's like looking for that very specific hue and you seem to do the same thing in the
00:17:53.480
It's like when you're looking for like a word to describe it, I don't know, it was like
00:18:00.360
You just have this like, you know, you want to get specific because you want them to know
00:18:09.760
And so, you know, the, the basic language doesn't always cut it.
00:18:20.420
Well, that's a Joni Mitchell lyric, which is an even better lyric than I've could ever
00:18:25.720
Oh, no, no, it's a cover, but it's, it is the, one of the best songs ever written.
00:18:39.760
Um, what is something that I love, uh, Oh, the, I gave you punchlines.
00:18:56.960
That reminds me so much of your music to me matters.
00:19:00.060
I mean, we'll get into your music so much of like, that is my song.
00:19:04.360
That is my, we were the way we, uh, oh, uh, say what you will say what you will.
00:19:14.960
That was like my whole, I felt like that was my whole childhood, man.
00:19:20.500
It was like, you know, I would, all I had was like the way to make people feel something
00:19:27.840
It was so like, um, but everything felt like a warning.
00:19:32.880
It was like the whole world felt like, everything felt like warning signs.
00:19:36.040
Any reaction people would give to me, I had to monitor every moment of it because I was
00:19:41.440
always scared when it would go from everything was okay to everything was not okay.
00:19:47.300
And man, it was, it's, uh, yeah, you have such a way.
00:19:55.260
Well, first of all, you're like a sound monkey.
00:19:57.080
Like you like, you're like, oh, you're listening to your music and you're like, oh, that's a sound.
00:20:04.260
Like you're like, I can almost see this like chimpanzee, like swinging out into the unknown
00:20:10.300
and then being like, this is a sound, you know, it's, um, well, you're doing that with what you do
00:20:16.960
And, and I, maybe that's some of what it is, you know, some of it in, in like what you described
00:20:22.560
earlier, like just then, um, the, the, the kind of.
00:20:29.600
Um, exploration is like when you, in order to emotionally regulate yourself, you've kind
00:20:39.000
of got to find, uh, words or comedic moments or chords in my case to, to just make it feel
00:20:50.940
And that happens once and it feels a little bit better.
00:20:55.040
And you're like, okay, you subconsciously twig that that's now going to be your, you know?
00:21:09.560
It's almost like you're doing some mountain climbing.
00:21:13.960
And it's not, it's like, like I, I remember like when I was, when I was a kid, there was
00:21:18.500
this one standout, I mean, it was a small moment, but I remember it very vividly, which
00:21:23.120
is where my friend was, um, really was one of my best friends, but you know, I didn't
00:21:36.720
And I just had this day where he, he just relentlessly took the piss out of me.
00:21:46.000
Cause, and I think that when I was, when somebody was my only friend, I think they, they felt
00:21:51.340
So just, you know, when I was much younger, like eight or nine or something.
00:21:57.760
Anyway, so this kid is, is, uh, I'm just like, oh, I was just feeling terrible.
00:22:04.440
And I go into the other room and I start playing piano.
00:22:15.140
He comes in and, uh, and just mocks me even harder for coming over to play the piano to
00:22:21.840
like, to, to like, oh, is this your sad song that you're writing?
00:22:26.720
And I remember thinking at the time, yeah, it is the sad song I'm writing because you're
00:22:34.720
And that just, that just is, and always was my, uh, my way of, uh, you know, it's like
00:22:49.160
Then the only thing I had, the only outlet that I had was music.
00:22:54.760
Or if you were like, even like a rice cooker, like that was your rice.
00:23:00.880
I learned to make, you know, like a, like a sous chef, like a Japanese sous chef.
00:23:04.180
I learned to make the rice so many times, um, you know, day in, day out that eventually
00:23:16.420
Like a, I was going to say Michelin star, but that would be, that would, that would be
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00:26:17.940
Well, I think, like, you know, I'm kind of a, I don't want to say your music is for, like, emotional people, right?
00:26:28.120
You know, I'm kind of an emo kind of guy, like, in a lot of ways.
00:26:32.320
Sometimes, yeah, your songs, it's almost like, I feel like the length of your song is, like, the length that takes a tear to go from, like, an eye to a cheek sometimes.
00:26:46.560
Some, I feel like it's, like, somebody, like, hitchhiking just through, like, a bunch of emotions, kind of.
00:26:53.920
Yeah, they're all, they're very, they're, like, highly emotional things.
00:26:59.980
Yeah, that's why it seems so specific to me, what you do.
00:27:02.180
It's like, God, this seems like, it's not like somebody laid some cement.
00:27:06.940
It's like, each thing here is, like, somebody put a step here.
00:27:12.180
And this one is a certain depth from the soil, and it's a certain softness to it of the stone or whatever it is.
00:27:22.020
Yeah, actually, I think there's two, there's good and bad that can come from being so intentional and being perceived to be so intentional, right?
00:27:33.580
So sometimes it's not intentional, and it just seems like it is, because I'm improvising, and I was just feeling a certain way, and it just came out like that.
00:27:44.500
And then I just edited it and just, like, put it in the song, right?
00:27:48.220
And so in moments like that, I think when the perception becomes, okay, you're super intentional and you're always in control, ultimately, it leads to a place where you have to keep up.
00:28:06.740
Like, A, keep up that image, but B, people don't question you.
00:28:12.620
You know, people will just, like, assume that you know what you're doing.
00:28:18.360
And when you're working with people, they're just like, oh, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
00:28:25.520
And they just gaslight themselves, because it might just be shit.
00:28:29.340
It might just be not a good melody or not a good lyric or whatever.
00:28:39.360
And it's brave you to notice that and just say that.
00:28:41.340
Like, yeah, sometimes my own ability or how people perceive some of my ability can then corner me into a place where I'm not getting probably earnest feedback on if something is quality enough for the situation or not.
00:28:55.520
And also people, because they're not as advanced at exactly the thing you do, they might be as advanced at something else.
00:29:02.920
But because they're not as advanced at exactly the thing you do, and the exact way that you came up doing that up the mountain, you're not speaking the same language.
00:29:19.020
You know, they don't feel that they have the knowledge to confront you on the idea that's not good sometimes.
00:29:28.700
Well, that's one thing I was going to say about when I met you.
00:29:31.040
Since you're taller and British, or sound British anyway, I'm thinking, oh, man, you seem older than you are.
00:29:41.680
And not saying you're not a great age, but when I first met you...
00:29:52.500
It just gives you a wiseness, I think, to people that maybe you don't even know, I think.
00:29:57.540
So that probably adds into the same thing where it's like, oh, man, this guy's a dang wizard, you know?
00:30:05.960
For an American person anyway, I'd be like, yeah.
00:30:12.640
Do you believe in old souls and young souls and stuff like that?
00:30:18.000
I mean, it's obviously not something I could prove, but I think these kind of phrases mean something.
00:30:28.140
I don't know if they always mean exactly what, you know, the literal sense of like, you know, someone having been here many times or whatever.
00:30:35.440
But whatever people are trying to say when they say that...
00:30:46.260
It doesn't mean that I'm like in any way a wizard or in any way like...
00:30:52.680
Because I think actually, if anything, I'm inferior.
00:31:15.320
Some people, it feels like it's their first time through the galaxy.
00:31:23.380
If you feel like you resonate with being an old soul, that it makes you better or anything.
00:31:41.940
Obviously, these character traits aren't just applied to the old soul, but they can be applied
00:31:46.540
to any couple of different character or personality types.
00:31:52.560
And there's all sorts of psychological analyses and assessments that you could put on this.
00:32:06.180
I mean, I'm a producer, but I feel a lot of the time like a therapist.
00:32:11.940
And like a therapist, a lot of therapists are very fucked up.
00:32:17.200
They're not people who you should necessarily take all of your life lessons from.
00:32:25.200
Or indeed, they might not be practicing exactly what they preach.
00:32:31.880
But, you know, they're also people who've got an overwhelming sense of empathy and probably
00:32:41.180
And they've learned to vocalize what it is that they're feeling so that other people
00:32:52.800
And obviously, I haven't gone to school to be a therapist.
00:33:01.740
And that's what's interesting sometimes about having any sort of gift in the world.
00:33:14.500
It can lift you up just as much as hearing like, you know, some Michael McDonald or something.
00:33:27.460
How did you draw the line between Michael McDonald and Nelly?
00:33:31.800
I was just trying to get some diversity in there.
00:33:38.740
Well, Nelly was the last time, I think, that a lot of white people felt like they could
00:33:46.640
And this is almost a little bit before your time, but when he came with...
00:33:52.380
I remember thinking, this is an amazing song and I still can't dance.
00:33:57.420
I mean, it was just our last hurrah with the legs.
00:34:06.040
So when things were still moving below the hips.
00:34:16.740
Because I want to know more about the connection between your upbringing and comedy and why you
00:34:28.340
sort of went into it, like what were there moments where you got a laugh from saying something in a certain way and it helped the situation?
00:34:40.780
It helped like your relationship with someone or it stopped the situation from going badly or whatever.
00:34:47.160
So it became like almost like a, you know, diplomatic kind of tool or whatever.
00:34:54.040
So I think, you know, I think I didn't have a lot of feelings as a kid.
00:35:03.380
I didn't have a lot of like comfortable feelings probably.
00:35:06.420
You know, there wasn't a lot of comfort in our home and there was a lot of question marks and not a lot of information.
00:35:24.140
You know, my mom made sure that we were learning.
00:35:38.420
So she, you know, knew words and she would use big words and she would use words that they would try to kick out of our town.
00:35:46.320
You know, I remember they would come with torches when she'd use certain words.
00:35:54.020
And my dad would be like, I wish she was, you know.
00:35:57.040
And so it was like, you know, my mom really probably had one of the best vocabularies in our town.
00:36:02.980
But I didn't have much affection for my mother and that's okay.
00:36:07.280
And so I think I probably somewhere in my head thought that, well, if I have words, if I'm using words, maybe she'll see me.
00:36:16.640
If, and when I'm, once I started to make people laugh, I'm like, oh man, they, you can make somebody...
00:36:23.280
I just never knew if I was, if I was okay to my mother.
00:36:32.720
And I don't even know if she knew she was, she didn't know she was doing it.
00:36:37.280
She just had like this kind of emotional kind of autism where she didn't understand that that was necessary.
00:36:43.100
And so I think once I saw somebody laugh, it was like, oh, it was like, I'm okay for a minute.
00:36:50.620
And so then I think that just became an addiction that was beyond...
00:37:00.100
Because you have to, I think, feel okay at certain points as a human.
00:37:07.200
I mean, it's like anything that you had to do, even the things that you're ashamed of...
00:37:14.160
...ultimately have to be chalked up to something that got you by, something that kind of helped you survive.
00:37:20.940
Yeah, I'm grateful that our arts at least aren't like looked down upon very much by society because a lot of people, they end up into the dark arts or things that are, you know, more taboo.
00:37:33.740
And it's just their survival methods, you know?
00:37:36.140
I mean, I look at like strippers and, you know, some sex workers and stuff like that sometimes like, oh, they're just trying to, you know, express themselves or something.
00:37:46.260
Well, yeah, I mean, also it's just, it's just a job, isn't it?
00:37:51.800
And I guess, I guess the, I'm not overly educated on the complexities of sex work, but I'd say...
00:38:12.900
And, um, I mean, I, I felt like I was compelled to do music.
00:38:19.720
Well, it sounds like it, even from that story of like, you know, you're like, I'm gonna go in the other room here if my buddy's being a real prick and I'm gonna express myself, you know?
00:38:28.300
So, yeah, I think it's just interesting how our expression comes out, like...
00:38:34.440
I wonder if it's written, it's kind of written, the writing's on the wall from the moment you kind of...
00:38:43.340
Well, it's like, I don't really believe in people being naturally talented, particularly.
00:38:49.020
I don't really believe in kind of genetic, I mean, maybe predisposition or like some inherited kind of consciousness, but I don't really believe in people being like born with a gift and shit like that.
00:39:01.380
So, do you believe that music, like, so you were very inclined, especially, I don't know all the instruments you play, James.
00:39:08.620
Sorry, I've just got to pat this down because it so easily looks like I've got an erection in this thing.
00:39:13.020
It kind of like tents up like that very, very easily.
00:39:18.420
I mean, I'm having a good time, but I just, you know.
00:39:23.400
Like, sell some tickets, bro, raise that tent, man.
00:39:40.140
Right, because when I see you on stage, you're at the keyboard or the piano, right?
00:39:43.580
Yeah, do you feel like that, yeah, that art, say art is just like an energy and it's going to come out of people.
00:39:54.940
It's going to find its way out into the world because it's just the way the whole world is kind of put together that the energy has to come out.
00:40:02.200
And so it finds its way through you, so you can harness it or adjust to it, but that it's, or you can choose to use it or not.
00:40:13.060
Maybe if you never even get to the keys and it just kind of hits a cul-de-sac inside of you.
00:40:22.080
I think I sometimes feel sorry for musicians and artists and stuff rather than kind of mythologize them or kind of put them on a pedestal.
00:40:38.860
Because in order for you to have arrived at that point where you need music as your expression, something had to happen.
00:40:46.720
You know, and something had to make you boil over so much that there was only one way that was going to be, you know, and it just happened to be this.
00:41:01.020
But it's not necessarily the most comfortable life.
00:41:05.920
I mean, I'm still super privileged to do what I do and I'm very lucky.
00:41:15.640
You know, there's millions of musicians who are not rewarded in the same way for basically expressing a lot of pain.
00:41:26.400
And it's not an efficient method of doing it either.
00:41:33.860
Like, I don't really feel that much better after I make a song.
00:41:44.640
And, you know, making a song isn't going to fix that.
00:41:51.020
But it felt like if we were to extend the pressure cooker analogy, it's like through art, I was basically just like letting a little steam out every now and again.
00:42:11.240
I wanted to stop the endless swell of pain and anxiety and depression and stem the flow.
00:42:22.780
And once I did that, I was able to look at music a bit more objectively.
00:42:39.620
I didn't have to, like, prove myself to the kids at school.
00:42:43.960
I didn't have to prove myself to even myself, you know, or less anyway.
00:42:48.620
I mean, there's always going to be a bit of all of those things.
00:42:55.720
Yeah, because when you identify with it so much, which is what happens sometimes as you get successful, it's like this is it.
00:43:03.040
Not this is all you are, but there's you become so, like, in tandem with it that everything you do, every if you put out one wrong thing.
00:43:12.860
And you become so close to your thing, like, it's not just fluid anymore.
00:43:19.580
It feels like they're attached on you like sloths, kind of, and you can't get them off or you're afraid to let them just kind of just leave them on the path of the forest, you know?
00:43:31.500
Yeah, it's interesting because some of your music, I feel like I'm like Eeyore, like Eeyore that showed up at a rave, kind of, you know?
00:43:58.860
No, even though, but that's the, that's the ruse with you.
00:44:26.000
And I forget some of the things you and I have talked about.
00:44:28.300
Because you and I, our friendship has just kind of had a hiatus through the pandemic.
00:44:32.100
And because I stayed in California, really, where I wasn't allowed out of my house.
00:44:55.800
But yeah, was it, because I remember there was, I think I remember there was a time where
00:44:59.720
you kind of were, like, you and I talked about different modalities for relieving, like,
00:45:05.860
whether it be depression or whatever's going on in our lives.
00:45:09.440
And did you have a time where you kind of came to a head with some of that sort of stuff?
00:45:27.560
But initially, the thing with EMDR is that you don't really, you don't go and then afterwards
00:45:39.980
And it has this very strange, slightly sci-fi effect on you where you don't even remember
00:45:50.200
Uh, so a lot of people kind of come out of it and going, you know, oh yeah, I don't really
00:45:59.100
But then they stop the pattern they've been in.
00:46:04.380
And they're just like, oh, I didn't, um, you know, I didn't endlessly turn on and off
00:46:08.840
the, the hob and like check to see if it was still on or whatever the OCD thing is,
00:46:13.620
or like they didn't, they don't, that pattern just isn't manifesting anymore because the trauma
00:46:18.900
that leads to it has been disconnected, uh, from feeling it.
00:46:26.420
It's like you kind of go behind the scenes and adjust a cable or something.
00:46:30.140
And then the next time, like your Christmas tree lights blink, they don't blink in that
00:46:43.560
Um, do you, are there other modalities and stuff that you've tried?
00:46:46.480
Um, I did mushrooms, which was quite very helpful for me, actually.
00:46:52.740
I mean, I, I go into a really bad depression when I take mushrooms because, um, I think
00:46:57.240
I'm allergic to them or something and just, just kind of, I, I go get really depressed
00:47:07.800
I love, I love them, but I've only done them a few times, but every time I've done them,
00:47:12.700
sometimes something's changed in my life, like majorly changed, um, I've either given
00:47:18.120
up an addiction or I've, you know, for example, I, I came off Twitter, uh, or stop, stop kind
00:47:28.820
Um, because I'm kind of checking it all the time and like being quite engaged in it and
00:47:35.060
invested in, in kind of what, how I was doing, you know, how other people's opinions and,
00:47:41.720
and even other people's opinions of what I was saying and, you know, very overwhelming
00:47:48.120
place for an artist, uh, someone who's easily overwhelmed, but also I think it's an overwhelming
00:47:54.020
Um, and maybe they're not admitting it, uh, but, uh, and stressful.
00:48:00.240
Um, it feels stressful even hearing you say it.
00:48:03.100
And, and, um, and it was kind of at a point where a lot of conversations were reaching
00:48:12.700
And I just felt trepidatious about even being involved because I felt like all of my real life
00:48:21.320
conversations were really compassionate and empathetic and loving, even if we didn't agree
00:48:27.480
on something, you know, like ours, like we don't always agree on everything, but we,
00:48:32.180
we just, you know, we approach each conversation with love and respect.
00:48:37.200
So, you know, but on Twitter, it was like the opposite of that.
00:48:40.400
It felt like if you didn't have the right opinion for the, for the group, you know, you,
00:48:45.020
you were, you, you're sort of out of the group or whatever, whichever group that is.
00:48:50.180
Um, and I just felt really over time, really, really stressed about that dynamic and, and,
00:48:58.500
um, took mushrooms one day, uh, we were sort of on a, like a road trip and, uh, we were
00:49:07.260
sitting by a pool and I think this was the first time I actually ever did them was during
00:49:16.340
Um, and I remember saying to my friend, I don't, I'm not really sure these are doing
00:49:26.720
And then he goes, well, you've, you've been taking a photo, you've been taking photographs
00:49:33.280
And I noticed it and I looked down at my phone and there was like 400, I was like scrolling
00:49:37.440
through this 400 photographs of this flower is really beautiful flower, but, um, in hindsight,
00:49:42.380
probably the mushrooms had something to do with that.
00:49:46.900
So, um, I, so I just looked down at my phone, open Twitter and it just looked like a vortex.
00:49:57.540
It was a very, very strange, like it was like fragmenting at the edges, you know, like a,
00:50:12.380
It's hard to describe it, um, in sober word wording, but it was, you know, at the time
00:50:20.500
I would, would have just kind of felt this horrible, um, kind of anxiety looking at it.
00:50:26.860
And I just, there and then deleted the app and just put the phone down and just got on
00:50:35.880
Um, and there were a couple of other things I did as well.
00:50:39.940
I did it with like a few other, cause I just noticed that the phone and actually the phone
00:50:43.940
itself was like, just looked like it was like charged with horrible, like nebulous, like
00:50:50.340
dark energy, like felt like a black hole basically.
00:50:54.380
And it felt like it was like drawing me towards it, but not in a good way.
00:50:57.560
Like in a way that, um, made me feel like I was dying.
00:51:01.800
So I just thought, no, I'm, that's telling me something.
00:51:05.000
This is, you know, I also noticed the way my dog reacts to my phone.
00:51:09.300
He very often pulls it away, but also just, just won't engage with it.
00:51:17.460
And if I'm engaging with it, then he'll, he'll just kind of walk off.
00:51:21.820
So it's almost like, here's a piece of life telling you, Hey man, that's not life.
00:51:28.540
That's what's interesting about mushrooms, man.
00:51:31.440
Like I did this ayahuasca treatment and I came home.
00:51:34.540
And I cut on like Dateline or some like murder show or something.
00:51:49.920
So I'd say I was working, you know, I was going off script.
00:51:56.580
Um, so I was going off script, but I turned it on.
00:52:00.220
And there was everything in me was like, don't you see how bad this is?
00:52:04.140
Someone died and you're sitting here watching it as like a, wow.
00:52:07.320
And it wasn't, it was, it wasn't a Dateline episode.
00:52:09.800
It was like, um, some murder, like in bed, but something that was like really dark.
00:52:14.860
So it, it kind of, uh, exposes the, thank you, mate.
00:52:21.000
Exposes sometimes like it's just a level of truth that I think the addictiveness of modern
00:52:25.820
day society that we're not able to feel anymore.
00:52:28.680
And it almost feels like something that you would have felt like a long time ago and
00:52:34.400
If you, if you lived in a, in a more sort of primitive, like back in the day, like more,
00:52:42.320
And, and it's, it's as if somebody handed to you then.
00:52:49.820
And goes, and goes, um, you know, when you wake up, you're going to check this and you're
00:52:58.260
going to scroll through all the things that are happening way outside of your group.
00:53:04.440
Um, you're going to, you're going to check for the opinions of others and they're going
00:53:11.640
And you're going to watch a bunch of videos and you're going to watch, watch a bunch of
00:53:17.120
Uh, and you're going to watch, and you're going to like play games on here and they're not
00:53:22.920
They're not in front of you with all these other people.
00:53:28.380
Um, and most of your interaction, it, you know, you're, you're, you're going to, you're
00:53:34.580
going to look at this for at least 12 hours a day.
00:53:39.000
And when you set this down, you're going to feel like there's nothing of you.
00:53:42.920
When you set it down, you're going to be unsatisfied with what the world is like, because this thing
00:53:53.040
If somebody told you that when you had no technology and you'd never seen anything like that before,
00:54:07.700
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00:55:57.600
You might kill them and throw this thing away so that no other human ever had to experience
00:56:03.180
And just, I mean, it goes on, you know, all your friends, all your friendships are going
00:56:15.780
If you get up and just stand up on a soapbox now and speak.
00:56:29.360
If I got up and just said like one of the more mundane tweets that I've ever sent, you
00:56:33.740
know, uh, hoping that a lot of people would be like, yeah, me too.
00:56:38.920
And then it would just like spin into virality and you just said it in the street on a, on
00:56:54.580
He's saying, he's saying strange, relatable, mundane things, but I'm on my way to work
00:57:10.720
I'd be like, maybe, but you know, but also porridge can be made with milk and, and, uh,
00:57:24.120
Um, you know, you've, you're some of your journey with music as an outsider, you know,
00:57:29.020
I didn't know even much about your genre of music until I met you.
00:57:31.980
And I remember my girlfriend at the time, Megan, I think it was, we came to see you perform
00:57:41.620
It was Presbyterian church or was it, um, in downtown was that, that wasn't the Wiltern.
00:57:55.620
It was like some special show you were doing or something.
00:57:58.860
Um, when I got into more of your music, I listened like in the beginning you had a lot
00:58:02.980
of, or I don't know the total beginning, but early on some of the stuff you released
00:58:07.760
like these EPs that had like, it was just a lot of beats and sounds and, you know,
00:58:14.140
Less like lead vocals, more, more kind of abstract, like collages of shit.
00:58:22.360
Did you always know you were going to, because your voice is like a big thing, especially for
00:58:27.280
someone who comes from a place of like, you know, uncertainty or shyness or, you know,
00:58:32.480
some of the realms that we've talked about, like emotionally, like, was that scary to put
00:58:36.100
your voice out or did it seem like just the next instrument?
00:58:39.140
It was, I mean, there was a lot of, there was a lot of toxic masculinity floating around,
00:58:45.400
But like, I remember when the first, like one of my earliest memories was, um, I was
00:58:53.780
upstairs in my parents' house and I was like 12 or 13 or something.
00:59:00.980
And I was playing, what I used to do, one of the ways I learned to train, I trained my
00:59:08.660
ear, which I didn't realize I was doing, but I just enjoyed doing it, was I'd play to records.
00:59:14.020
So I'd put a CD on and I'd sit at my like keyboard, like, you know, cheap, just piano keyboard
00:59:21.900
thing, like electronic, kind of think, think, uh, Ross from friends, you know, doing thing, uh,
00:59:32.600
And then playing to the CD and learning all the like vocal runs and like learning how to
00:59:39.400
play the chords and like Stevie Wonder and like Mariah Carey and all these people.
00:59:42.740
And I was playing at the time I was playing with the Whitney Houston song, uh, I can't
00:59:50.840
remember the name of the song, very famous song.
00:59:55.080
It was, it was, I believe the children of the future.
01:00:09.360
So that one, I loved that song and I was playing it and the chords are amazing.
01:00:16.520
They're like very, you know, they're a tiny bit cheesy.
01:00:20.040
It's a bit of a cheesy song, but it's like one of the best ever, slightly cheesy songs,
01:00:26.700
And so anyway, I'm, and I'm singing at the top of my lungs and the windows open and my,
01:00:36.100
I've got a couple of friends who live four doors down, right.
01:00:47.060
And it's, it's me, it's me broadcasting this extremely kind of, I'd say at that point,
01:00:55.460
you know, being a, being a young man, uh, very Billy Elliot type moment.
01:01:02.460
Like very, like I'd say in terms of our understanding of masculinity at the time, not, not the most
01:01:13.900
And I remember at the time, one of them shouting some homophobic slur from three doors down.
01:01:22.520
And I'm just being like, you sound like probably, you know, and, and it really like crushed me at
01:01:29.220
the time because I didn't see music through a lens of like sexuality or, and I didn't see the
01:01:35.940
problem in being gay or being bi or being anything.
01:01:40.220
I just was like, but I did understand that there was a social kind of rejection of being gay and
01:01:49.640
And I just kind of froze and like, so I started to associate music and singing with something
01:01:59.100
shameful and feminine and like all these things that like were not, not accepted.
01:02:05.700
It went from like a hundred meter dash to like, just like hurdles now.
01:02:09.140
Like where you're like, now these, these different things have to make sure that they check enough
01:02:13.560
Like, don't be too, like, don't be too, don't express yourself too much because then you're
01:02:19.140
And so, you know, I sort of kept, and it wasn't just that, but there was multiple reasons why
01:02:27.520
I would go to the practice rooms, uh, at school every day.
01:02:32.620
And I was, you know, very often like extremely sad and depressed and kind of going in there
01:02:39.640
and just playing and fucking crying and like being, you know, so British.
01:02:45.200
Well, no, the British thing to do is to, is to, um, is to not find an outlet at all and
01:02:57.100
Whether it be physically or emotionally or, or indeed, you know, in any other way, just,
01:03:03.320
just find someone to, to kind of, um, or, or not even just someone, but everyone.
01:03:10.800
Just like make other people, uh, experience the pain that you're supposed to process.
01:03:16.620
So, uh, I actually found a way, I found an outlet so I didn't have to like be a cunt
01:03:25.460
And I, um, found myself just keeping it a secret.
01:03:38.220
That I could sing and, and I could sing, you know, by that point I was a good singer.
01:03:41.780
I was, by the time I've been singing since I was two.
01:03:46.560
I mean, you hit some notes where I'm checking my watch.
01:04:05.720
So, so that's, you know, like I ended up to cut a long story short.
01:04:10.420
Uh, eventually I started a little bit singing in like school, like assembly.
01:04:15.860
He's and shit, but I generally just kept it quiet.
01:04:18.460
And then when I was making music, I, I think I carried over that, that, uh, shame.
01:04:25.000
And I just, you know, the dance music scene was super male dominated.
01:04:30.800
Um, and a lot of the discussion around it is like, it's very, uh, it was very toxically
01:04:40.300
And so when I started to sing, there were a lot of comments a bit similar.
01:04:45.860
To what the guy had shouted at me three doors down, you know, like just very like, and,
01:04:51.820
but they did, they couldn't say like, because, you know, things had moved on and, and, and
01:04:56.700
they were adults and, and they were, they didn't want to like expose themselves as being
01:05:01.540
But they were saying stuff that kind of like the almost dog whistling, like you, you can't
01:05:06.620
do this because that's this, you know, and, and kind of just discouraging me from expressing
01:05:14.500
It's such a weird pattern of comfort that there's almost a comfort in people even doing
01:05:20.040
It's like, you know, I would always envision like, there's a, there's some black kids on
01:05:23.920
a white guy's lawn and the black guy comes out and yells the N word, but then he goes
01:05:27.620
inside and he's learning the moonwalk, you know, it's like, what's the analogy there?
01:05:37.640
I think it's that somebody will just say something that they like has been like part of a pattern.
01:05:44.220
But then they don't even realize they're going inside and now they're trying to learn like
01:05:50.200
So the white guy is saying the N word or the black guy is white guy or the white guy.
01:05:54.660
So they've, they're, their culture, they're racially kind of, um, living a double existence
01:06:01.520
It's like, they're not, they're like, they have like, Hey, they're saying hateful things,
01:06:08.160
But they're also learning part of this culture.
01:06:09.900
They're learning like a music or a dance or something of this culture at the same time.
01:06:20.180
And you know, obviously, but some of the even hateful things people say are just like,
01:06:25.780
Also, they can be so deeply ingrained in people as a kind of like, uh, form of expression that
01:06:31.520
they're not even aware of what the words, what they mean.
01:06:37.520
There's a thing called semantic association where you, where in the moment you can say
01:06:42.420
a word so many times that it loses its meaning completely.
01:06:44.880
And you know, like cactus, if you said that like 400 times or even probably 10 times in
01:06:53.440
That has no power whatsoever or, or any connotation.
01:07:00.880
We hear that even with music, you hear a song so many times.
01:07:03.240
It's like, oh, I'm going to listen to this my whole road trip.
01:07:10.300
Um, so is there another evolution you start to feel like for your music and not that you
01:07:22.220
So at one point it was like, okay, I'm going to put my voice in like, that's something new
01:07:25.640
and different for me kind of, or, or put my voice out there to people attached to my
01:07:30.880
Like, um, do you feel like there's just, I'm just trying to think like, what would something
01:07:40.600
Well, you know, I, I kind of have a band we play with live, but I, there is, um, there's
01:07:47.320
always a, a slight insecurity in me that like, I'm not shift, I'm not changing up enough the
01:07:54.840
neck, every phase that we go into, like whether it's a new album or, or something like that.
01:07:58.980
But I've tended to find that the, the three piece band that I play with is just the best
01:08:11.320
Uh, and, but singing is like, it's a form of expression on like anything I've ever had.
01:08:20.080
And I guess I just, I, I just love doing it and it really like, it feels great.
01:08:24.580
And it's, it's, it just always, it's always challenging.
01:08:29.920
And it's like, even just staying on the note, like I have this voice where you, I can kind
01:08:36.220
of easily fall off the note and it almost sounds like I'm about to fall off the note, but I,
01:08:43.340
Um, but I don't have the most pure, clear, clear voice, you know, someone like,
01:08:49.560
Whitney Houston, for example, is just like, you know, super defined notes.
01:09:02.320
I think, um, yeah, it's a perfect example, kind of a view.
01:09:06.840
It's really interesting to know you and hear your music.
01:09:14.940
Cause it, one thing I always sort of, um, found fascinating was just how you've internalized
01:09:23.420
your childhood and, and like the way people, like all of your memories of, of all the stories
01:09:29.640
you have of like where you grew up are so vivid.
01:09:34.540
And I can't remember most of the people in my town.
01:09:40.280
I mean, I remember some of them, but I feel like we grew up in pretty different places
01:09:46.300
and, and a lot of the things that you remember and pick up on of the people that you grew up
01:09:53.940
around, maybe it's the way you're telling them, but a lot of fucked up shit happened near
01:10:08.140
Well, I think when people don't have much, they play with their body, you know, or they're
01:10:11.900
like, you know, you get reduced to kind of real limbic type of behaviors, you know, sexual
01:10:16.960
or perved out or, you know, and especially you get out there in a rural areas where people
01:10:22.860
There's a lot more kind of, you know, I don't want to say incest, but people touching each
01:10:31.020
And I, I grew up in, you know, the kind of the countryside, uh, or not, it's not the
01:10:41.740
I did meet a couple, but I didn't ever ride one.
01:10:45.400
Um, and, um, I just, I just, I'd like, there were characters where, where I was from.
01:10:53.200
Um, but I think I don't, I guess I don't draw on them as inspiration.
01:10:58.360
Because they probably, I probably avoided most people, I think.
01:11:03.340
Whereas I think you must've just been more like viscerally attached.
01:11:07.700
We were more loose out just seeing stuff, you know?
01:11:10.120
There was not much like supervision or like, and I didn't want to be at home.
01:11:17.260
There was like a clean, there was like a, um, babysitter around.
01:11:20.680
So it was just so like, I don't know, it's just, just being out and about, you know?
01:11:25.820
And then your imagination becomes so big because you, something needs to have some value to you.
01:11:32.460
So your imagination creates like a lot, like, I think it pays attention to a lot of stuff.
01:11:44.220
So your, maybe your imagination gets attached to something else inside of you and they kind
01:11:50.440
Because do you feel like when you go into rooms with people in like Hollywood or, or, or even
01:11:56.240
just any way you are, do you feel like your imagination is sort of overgrown in a way that
01:12:02.120
Do you, do you sometimes feel like, uh, like you've still got the curiosity of, about people
01:12:10.120
and about like things that a lot of people seem to have, like you have quite a, um, quite
01:12:17.980
a, like zest for that kind of thing that like a lot of people don't seem to, don't seem
01:12:24.700
to have like an opposite, you know, you're, you're keen to like observe the, the thing
01:12:30.180
that a lot of people wouldn't have noticed, which, you know, is, I mean, that in itself
01:12:38.180
It's not, even though like, I know that you've gone through a lot and you've, and you've talked
01:12:42.740
about, you know, bouts of depression and bouts of kind of not being interested in stuff,
01:12:46.660
but it's like, even at your least interested, even at your least engaged with humanity and
01:12:56.040
I think, um, well, some of it is, I think you have to, you start to develop a sense.
01:13:02.260
I need to know what is very important to this person that's in front of me right now, because
01:13:06.580
if I need them or if I need to let them know, I need communication from them or I need them
01:13:13.900
to see me, I need to be able to get to them immediately.
01:13:16.900
So maybe there's a part in you that it's like, oh, you can tell this about them, or
01:13:21.900
you can tell this, or you could, you know, see by the way that they turn their neck or
01:13:26.620
fix their hair or put something in their pocket that you can envision this bigger world behind
01:13:31.580
them that you can either make a way for it to be funny to them, or it can be really acute
01:13:41.720
I think you just develop this sense in case I need someone, um, I need everything I can
01:13:48.140
get to show this person that I may, that I can attach to them.
01:13:57.060
I think a part of you kind of become some type of a detective, you know?
01:13:59.760
Cause it's like, you're noticing stuff on people, you know, it's like when in detective
01:14:03.180
shows where they're like, yeah, well, you know, his, his right, but his right shoe had
01:14:07.100
a lace untied, which means that recently he was, well, it's like, he's the kind of person
01:14:15.280
He's not, he's, you know, he's not paying attention.
01:14:19.060
He can, he can't be trusted, but you know, it's like, they'll draw all these conclusions
01:14:22.340
from just that one aspect of someone's, uh, appearance or something.
01:14:35.080
I think growing up, especially as a defense mechanism, you would use it around our house.
01:14:39.480
Like with communicating with my brothers and sisters, it was the only way we communicated
01:14:54.400
So you just find the thing that you thought was going to like cut them down, cut them down
01:15:01.760
So it was every, I mean, it was just, I was surprised that you did.
01:15:04.420
I didn't, um, sort of comment on this ridiculous, uh, onesie that I'm wearing.
01:15:10.600
Well, we've only had one other person that's worn something like that.
01:15:34.340
We've basically dressed as a, except I, so he's wearing a, we're both wearing dungarees,
01:15:49.360
I mean, he definitely looked like, Hey, you're late for the train.
01:15:53.340
Like he's got conductor on it written on every, yeah, totally.
01:15:56.720
He had kind of a sling blade gets a job at Amtrak sort of vibe going on.
01:16:17.540
So three, three really interesting, different British people that we've had on here.
01:16:31.080
He does the cryonic freezing where they freeze people.
01:16:43.200
I think he would, he himself is planning on getting frozen, I think, but it was just interesting
01:16:47.980
I would never go to someone who's never done it themselves.
01:17:00.020
They catch them right when they're about to die.
01:17:13.680
So what was his, I'd love to know what his chat was like.
01:17:20.680
So he also is named like a supervillain type of name, M-A-X-M-O-R-E.
01:17:25.220
So he really lives this, you know, and he looks, bring a picture of him up.
01:17:29.620
He looks like he's been damn frozen and thawed out 30 times.
01:17:32.760
He looks like they wanted him for dinner and then changed their mind.
01:17:57.840
Um, he's the posthumous Wim Hof in a way, isn't he?
01:18:04.340
He just, you know, they have all the bodies in that sort of deal.
01:18:08.700
He's for, if, if, if things with Wim Hof, Wim Hof go wrong.
01:18:13.940
And they freeze him in like this different type of, um, what was that stuff called, Zach?
01:18:26.400
Uh, but his plan, his thought is this, that if people like already they can take an embryo,
01:18:31.860
They can say if your girlfriend wanted to donate eggs, right?
01:18:34.900
And then they froze those eggs, which they do for a lot of women now.
01:18:41.920
So he's saying that they could freeze you at the end also.
01:18:46.160
And then later when they have the technology, if your DNA is still alive, people are hoping
01:18:51.160
that, you know, we can get revived like a mammoth.
01:18:54.940
He goes, at one point people thought climbing up a ladder was as high as you could get to
01:18:58.440
And then now we, you know, we can travel through space.
01:19:02.360
So that's really, I mean, I imagine the ladder was probably invented after like, uh, some
01:19:08.920
of the space travel, not space travel, but maybe the hypothesis of just maybe the hot
01:19:18.240
Imagine when somebody showed up with that ladder, bro.
01:19:21.460
I mean, one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind.
01:19:23.620
Oh, people imagine all the chicks he got to all those wrong.
01:19:29.980
I mean, it would feel, it'd feel like a celebrity.
01:19:37.800
People with all the things like on their shelves that they can't reach.
01:19:49.400
If he, if he, um, yeah, you know, the inventor of the ladder, like, did he get royalties?
01:19:57.280
Then watching people go get stuff and you're not, you're not making anything off it.
01:20:02.660
You know, you're cursing at people who are climbing up.
01:20:21.080
I think you and I can make a really good sad movie probably if we wanted to.
01:20:30.880
Do you, was a lot of your pressure from just like acceptance or your peers?
01:20:35.900
Cause obviously if you were kind of shy and music was your scapegoat and you had these
01:20:40.800
skills that were kind of frowned upon, which certainly are in certain areas, you know?
01:20:46.800
It makes you wonder how much creativity has been really stifled by an environment, you
01:20:51.520
I think create, I think, you know, sometimes I thought it was the singing, the fact that
01:20:54.900
you know, kids just didn't really, but it's also a bit like, I think it's a bit like being
01:21:01.420
You know, when a kid says, I want to be a professional, you know, soccer player when
01:21:06.180
In England, that's like, you know, NFL here, you know, it's this almost unattainable dream
01:21:12.600
that some people do genuinely break through and make it.
01:21:17.760
But it's, you know, if, if a kid says that's what they want to do, you go, well, people go
01:21:23.200
like, okay, but have a backup plan because probably not going to happen.
01:21:28.700
And music's a bit like that, where it's like, the odds are you're not going to be the, you're
01:21:38.020
And you're probably not even going to make it as high as you want to, even if you do become
01:21:42.740
extremely successful because it's never enough.
01:21:45.100
So ultimately convincing people to go into music for a living is, is actually slightly kind
01:21:57.100
of a dubious thing to suggest because it's, it's really hard and most people don't, you
01:22:07.280
Uh, but also there's, there's also loads of ways you can be involved in music that don't,
01:22:11.880
you know, um, don't have so much pressure on them.
01:22:14.960
And you can make a living, you can make a great living from music and not be famous and not
01:22:19.700
be in the band and not be in the, you know, you can be working music in so many different
01:22:25.520
Um, but they're not the ways that people focus on when they think of musician or whatever
01:22:35.700
Like they're not some of the most like, uh, ways that are kind of, they're not the front
01:22:42.260
You think of the front, front people, you know, I don't, it's just advertising.
01:22:47.080
Um, what other things do you think about with music?
01:22:49.640
Are there other worlds that you'd like to conquer?
01:22:51.260
Like you've had such a, you know, you've gotten to work with like Travis Scott and, uh, Beyonce.
01:23:04.560
I was actually on the way to the Grammys and they told me in, in the car that I'd won
01:23:09.760
And I, so, so essentially it's on this, so on, so Kendrick Lamar, we were supposed to
01:23:20.120
work on, he asked me to work on the Black Panther stuff, the soundtrack.
01:23:26.040
And then also there was this other song he was doing, which I think ended up on the Black
01:23:38.480
I don't really know what it was, but I tried something on this song.
01:23:44.080
Anyway, they ended up using like a very, very, very small clip of what I'd done.
01:23:53.140
So I, I wasn't particularly audible or it wasn't necessarily recognizably me.
01:24:03.620
Um, and I wasn't in any way like cut up about that.
01:24:08.580
Like, uh, I just was like, nice to be included, sample me, cool, whatever you want to do.
01:24:13.380
But anyway, they ended up putting my name on the song as one of the features.
01:24:17.460
Now, usually a feature is something like someone does a verse or like that, you know, whatever.
01:24:23.240
So anyway, I'm this thing, uh, and I'm not really playing a feature role, but I'm, my name's on it.
01:24:33.220
So I win a Grammy that they win a Grammy for the song.
01:24:36.240
And because my name's on the actual song, rather than just like buried in the credits as a sample,
01:24:43.760
So I've got, uh, and it says best rap performance, which insinuates that I rap, which, um, you can imagine I don't.
01:24:54.100
Cause sometimes you would think, man, they put my name on here.
01:24:58.840
Some people might think it's kind of messed up.
01:25:00.260
They're kind of using me here, but then it's funny how sometimes things turn around and it's like, oh, here you go.
01:25:06.260
It was just a whole, the whole situation was funny.
01:25:08.420
Like I didn't, you know, cause we ended up doing other songs.
01:25:10.980
So it was like, if, if that had been all they'd used, then I, maybe I could have felt a bit sad about it.
01:25:17.180
But, you know, you've also got to think like the man's a legend.
01:25:35.100
I mean, it's currently hidden behind a big modular synth, um, in my studio, poking out the back.
01:25:44.720
When you have, is your studio now fancier than your studio when you first started?
01:25:48.380
A little bit, but it's still pretty much the same principle.
01:25:52.280
Just the keyboard, computer, mic, uh, it's just like probably higher end versions of those things, but quite simple, quite small.
01:26:02.980
Cause sometimes I think like, is it hard to get back to like the, cause sometimes we look to our early stuff and like, those are the moments where I really wish I could just still feel like myself.
01:26:11.720
You know, I even will have old podcast clips come up and I'm like, oh man, that's when I was just really felt like in the pocket of who I was as a person before I started to take any input from people's perspectives of me or before stuff got out there.
01:26:26.440
And anybody knew who I was when, who I was, what was a secret to me.
01:26:30.560
And I was my, it was like, it was almost like I had some value for myself that once everybody knows about it, it's almost like, you don't not still have it, but it's not yours.
01:26:42.780
And you've, and you've kind of shown your, you've shown your cards, shown your cards, basically.
01:26:47.860
There's something, there's so, there's something so special about being a surprise.
01:26:51.860
And, and the underdog and, and like all these things.
01:26:54.220
And like, there was a time I imagine where it felt like you were people just kind of discovering your brain and how it works and kind of going, whoa, never heard anyone say anything like this or do anything like this.
01:27:06.880
But, you know, that's a cool moment, but I think that your career especially has kind of been littered with really great moments that couldn't have happened during that phase.
01:27:20.660
And like now you have this incredible fan base of people who love the way your brain works and know the way your brain works and look for, and look for confirmation about how great you are.
01:27:35.320
And, and they, they're like, they're watching because they can count on you to make them feel that thing that you make them feel.
01:27:45.900
And, and then also not just laugh, but also be understood and like ask questions that they are too afraid to ask.
01:27:51.320
And, you know, you, you get to meet all these people that they don't get to meet and they can see it through your lens.
01:27:59.040
And every new person you meet brings something new out in you.
01:28:02.400
So there's never, um, there's never been a point at which you were more capable of doing that than right now.
01:28:10.100
Hmm. Um, it feels the other way though. Right. Talking about in what way?
01:28:15.360
Like, do you ever feel like I want, Oh God, I wish I could go back to whatever.
01:28:19.060
Yeah. But it's, it's, um, but you can't get your brain back there.
01:28:22.440
Like your brain, like your reality grows and you can't go back, you know?
01:28:28.500
Yeah. And I think, I think that's a good thing because what you probably, what we, you know, I have a similar thing.
01:28:38.060
You know, I look back at some of my old music and I think like, Oh, like I was thinking so much simpler back then.
01:28:44.440
Or I, I really knew how to do this or like, I didn't overcomplicate or, you know, there were, Oh yeah.
01:28:51.100
Like I really had a fire in my belly for this type of thing. Right. And that's cool.
01:28:57.100
But that moment really only lasted for however long it lasted.
01:29:00.120
And then after that I had to, and I was finding a fire for other things.
01:29:04.040
And I think obviously we can't revisit moments in time, but what we can do is make sure that our head is clear and that we're on our path.
01:29:18.660
Cause I think the feeling that we miss is the feeling of being on our path.
01:29:23.200
Ah, it's not necessarily the thing we were doing at the time, what we were on our path, that we were on our path.
01:29:44.600
I'm not letting other people's opinions get to me.
01:29:50.340
I love I'm being authentic and I'm enjoying every moment.
01:29:59.180
And I'm, and I'm being present when you feel those things, the content you put out is going to be great.
01:30:10.460
And it will always be a moment people look back on because ultimately the thing that brought you to where you are now, sorry, into, even into, you know, public consciousness.
01:30:24.180
Was the fact that you were on that path and your, your, every essence, your actual essence is why you're there.
01:30:32.740
It's every, it's the way you look at the world.
01:30:36.840
It's the thing, the ways that you learn to, um, kind of put those experiences into words or the way you learn to, you know, find those.
01:30:47.620
So it's not like getting back to a certain doc.
01:30:50.020
It's just like being still just be in the stream kind of, or getting, it's like that's in flow state, right?
01:31:01.100
Oh, cause I always, I always mess up and think it's, oh, I got to get back to this doc.
01:31:06.180
But it's like, no, that doc was just part of something you passed by as you were in a comfortable, healthy self.
01:31:19.560
I'm always looking out the window thinking, oh, I got to get back to where the car passed.
01:31:22.980
But really, I just have to get back into this comfortably in the driver's seat.
01:31:30.940
And it's such a fight to try and think, how do I get back there?
01:31:34.880
You know, and then you're always working from a loss because it's impossible.
01:31:38.900
It's the, it's the kind of, it's the Buddhist concept of, uh, you know, desire is suffering.
01:31:43.780
It's like, if you, if you want what you don't currently embody, then you are starting from
01:31:56.940
So therefore, you know, wanting something equals unhappiness, but you're, but I mean, that's,
01:32:10.620
And then we'll come back and maybe talk about some news.
01:32:13.880
Would you ever, uh, and you got, it gets much colder in Britain, huh?
01:32:20.040
Well, actually I say that, I mean, America's a big place and it gets much colder in Minnesota
01:32:27.240
Oh, do you ever feel like you've sold out your country by moving out of it?
01:32:37.300
No, I mean, it's definitely like, you know, as an English person, it's definitely like a
01:32:41.780
concern that you in some way have insulted your, you know, your own by moving out.
01:32:47.880
But no, I never felt like I lived anywhere, to be honest.
01:32:54.300
I mean, all my cultural reference points are English and all my comedy, uh, comedy references
01:33:02.240
and musical, any botanist, any botanist would find roots of you there.
01:33:08.580
But that's interesting to say you never felt like you lived anywhere.
01:33:11.460
The musical roots were, a lot of it was American and, and a lot of like other like Japanese
01:33:15.340
and, uh, like European, uh, music and, you know, just, yeah, those are different cultural
01:33:24.840
And, and also I think on a spiritual level, I just didn't really resonate with nationality
01:33:30.840
I didn't really have a national pride particularly, or, you know, being English, being, being
01:33:38.020
And it's, you know, it comes with a history that's not necessarily, um, you know, some
01:33:43.160
of it's great and some of it's quite shameful and some of it, you know, I don't understand
01:33:48.060
why I would really attach myself to the positive or the negative of my country's history when
01:33:57.020
It's interesting, you know, with history, it's interesting because it's like people, it's easy
01:33:59.740
to look back on history and be like, oh, this is, you know, this wasn't good, you know,
01:34:06.180
And, and, you know, I'm sure at the time, a lot of British people were like, we're taking
01:34:11.520
over the world, you know, it was like a different, like there was a, probably a pride that would
01:34:15.640
seem foolish now if somebody had it, you know, like it would seem, you know, it's, it's
01:34:20.200
just interesting how time gives shape to things.
01:34:23.400
Well, cause all of our sort of, uh, reach of power is kind of just like slowly.
01:34:27.480
And now we're just this little Island, uh, that has, you know, a lot of cultural power
01:34:35.040
and I guess some financial power, but I, we're, we're definitely, um, maybe got a tail between
01:34:41.300
our legs a little bit, uh, might, might account for some of the self-deprecation that happens.
01:34:46.980
I think maybe a historical tail between your legs.
01:34:49.480
I'm curious to see like, how does Britain kind of like, how do they feel okay to show
01:34:54.900
their, still show who they are or find who they are?
01:34:58.820
I think with a little bit of difficulty, actually, I think, I think like when you have a national
01:35:03.020
kind of sense of like something, you know, when we're not like, we've not always been part
01:35:07.940
of, you know, the, you know, the British empire, like the colonialism, we're, we're, you know,
01:35:14.220
I think finding pride has to come from other, obviously other sources, unless you genuinely
01:35:21.100
In which case, I don't know how I can help you, but, but that this, this side of being English,
01:35:28.480
like the comedy, the, the kind of, um, the music, the culture, the cultural output of
01:35:38.980
I mean, I, I look back at, you know, a lot of my biggest influences have also been, uh,
01:35:47.360
I mean, I, I, I didn't actually really, wasn't really, um, like a fan of Oasis at the time,
01:35:55.980
Um, lots of, lots of bands kind of eluded me until I was a bit older.
01:36:00.240
Cause I mostly listened to piano based music, uh, and like Mozart.
01:36:06.800
Whether it was classical or I listened to, um, a lot of like, like soul classical, um, Japanese
01:36:22.000
Is that like, uh, I don't know what that is, but, um, I don't either.
01:36:25.980
So, but like, yeah, but, but no, I mean, it could be a genre though.
01:36:31.140
I, I, something I don't know about, but, uh, yeah.
01:36:35.780
I mean, um, Ryuchi Sakamoto is a good, good, uh, example.
01:36:59.060
I went to Japan one time and we took a bunch of ice creams with us to the park and we gave
01:37:05.660
him the kids and took pictures of meeting them.
01:37:11.520
I look like my mother a little in the face, not in the hair.
01:37:15.740
Actually, if her, if his hair was a lot longer.
01:37:29.700
I think it feels like everything's just so damn organized inside of you.
01:37:33.900
I feel like you swallow water and it immediately is ready to be urine.
01:38:03.120
There's a definite, there's a, there's a definable, like when you go to Tokyo, for example, there's
01:38:12.600
And I've found that some of the most stylish people I've ever met have been Japanese.
01:38:18.480
And some of the most stylish kind of, like, ideas in clothing have been, come from, I
01:38:23.460
mean, this is actually a different, I mean, I'm not saying that this is, I'm not saying
01:38:27.300
I think this is, like, one of the, well, it is, and it is by, it's by Yamamoto, Yoji Yamamoto.
01:38:39.340
But I wear a lot of Japanese clothes because I just think they, I mean, Yamamoto and Issey
01:38:52.360
And, you know, going back to when I was a kid, yeah, lots of, lots of Japanese music.
01:38:57.320
And, and I think I was also fascinated by, like, like Western and Japanese crossovers.
01:39:04.760
Um, and, um, just like the, the intersection between those sounds.
01:39:14.720
And one thing you find is that every, every culture has its kind of own chord, uh, kind
01:39:24.340
What's the word sort of like world of notes that, that sound good together in that, you
01:39:36.000
So like French, uh, early classical or whatever, it's like, there's a, there's a, there's a world
01:39:52.040
Um, and when you go to the, when you go to the Eurostar, it's funny, there's, there's
01:40:12.100
If you know a lot about music, you're probably able to hear a lot of different, like little
01:40:15.320
just things in the world and know, like trace them back.
01:40:19.020
Like if you know sounds, it's almost like you learn Latin.
01:40:24.220
Well, you know, when you go to Japan, there's a lot of, um, sounds in like train stations
01:40:30.400
And you just go, wow, this is, I mean, nothing like anything that I'm, I'm used to.
01:40:36.940
Um, do you think, um, do you notice any difference between the audiences, like in different places,
01:40:43.360
like in some of the behavior of them and stuff like that?
01:40:45.260
Japan's a really interesting place to play because, uh, that a lot of the audiences are, they're
01:40:51.540
like super respectful, at least for the shows that we've put on, they'll be completely silent
01:40:59.460
during the music and then erupt in like the loudest possible applause.
01:41:04.200
And then as soon as they sense that you're ready to start the next song, complete silence
01:41:17.600
It's like, it feels right there, but it's so, I can understand the logic behind it.
01:41:26.700
And there's a such respect that comes with that.
01:41:29.240
It's like, they really, really respect the art and what you're doing.
01:41:34.820
And also we were there, you know, we're kind of, we don't go there very often.
01:41:38.720
So, and you're not, you know, if you go too often, I think they probably get bored of you
01:41:43.160
and you start to seem domestic almost, but they respond, especially like that.
01:41:48.420
I think to people who are from out of town who come in and just kind of, um, more of a
01:41:55.120
It's like, they just really want to be present for the, I don't want to miss it.
01:42:02.060
Maybe the value of the moment a bit, maybe there's some more of a value for the moment.
01:42:08.920
Well, I wonder if it's also, we're over in America, we'll pour beer on the moment.
01:42:14.720
People over here, Hey dude, quit fucking the moment.
01:42:17.400
It's like, we're just people over here to, you know, just being, yeah.
01:42:23.060
Just like the moments, uh, it's like there's millions of moments, right?
01:42:28.320
There's so many moments that is, is kind of expansive.
01:42:32.800
We were like, we've got unlimited moments, you know?
01:42:35.180
But now I think we're starting, I think things are starting to change a little bit and it's
01:42:40.540
I think the economy of moments basically, it's like, we are now in a moment where we don't
01:42:47.460
have that many like live interactive experiences.
01:42:50.100
So I would think that people are starting to go when they go to comedy shows or whatever,
01:42:55.500
they're probably paying a little bit more, you know, they're like, feel a bit more grateful
01:42:59.460
to be there, feel a bit more grateful to like have access to someone in real life after
01:43:04.580
just spending a pandemic, not being able to see anyone, not being able to go out apart
01:43:12.340
Uh, but like the fact that someone is stood in front of you and they've spent their whole
01:43:18.980
And then you go there and then you just talk all over it.
01:43:21.800
I mean, the idea of doing that after the pandemic seemed, seemed more insane than it did before
01:43:32.040
I mean, you guys, the people are more likely to be able to party and stuff during your shows
01:43:35.540
and have fun, you know, with comedy, you're really, people have to kind of sit and listen
01:43:40.300
Although a lot of people shush other people in my shows.
01:43:47.800
Well, I'll be playing something and, and I'm in the middle of a song and someone just goes
01:43:52.100
like, you know, they'll say something crowd-like, you know, like, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:44:01.520
And I'm like, in my brain, I'm like, I love you too, but I can't, can't say anything
01:44:08.360
And someone else just goes, and just, and you're like, what it says, the thing is, I
01:44:17.040
always feel like responsible for what they've just done because I feel like maybe something
01:44:22.500
I put across, maybe it's just an insecurity, but I feel like something I put across has made
01:44:32.020
You know, I wouldn't like it if someone like expresses how excited they are or whatever.
01:44:37.440
I don't want you to think that they're a warden for me.
01:44:39.420
I feel like some kind of like, yeah, like real, like stick up my ass fucking dude.
01:44:43.860
I used to feel that way about girl, like girls I would date and stuff.
01:44:47.120
I didn't want any girl to be like a reflection of me.
01:44:50.900
So it'd be like, if they made a mistake or like, I used to date this one girl who had
01:45:00.780
She would just be like, you know, talking to you and like, she'd bump into 65 people
01:45:10.460
And it's one of those, you know, like the, uh, the cars that bump into each other in
01:45:16.500
She was just like, gee, like, oh my God, don't you know somebody's right behind you?
01:45:20.520
She would always turn and knock over a damn glass or a top hat off of somebody, you know?
01:45:30.160
It just, cause I didn't want her to be a reflection of who I, it would be like, I didn't want anybody
01:45:36.520
thinking like, oh man, it's such a narcissistic thing really.
01:45:45.220
Which makes him also as, as kind of unwieldy and, uh, fucking, you know.
01:45:54.620
In some way, ultimately it comes back to, I'm not accepted or like, but you know, the,
01:46:00.300
I, and I thought I did exactly the same thing, but with, with, uh, with like social interactions
01:46:06.020
and like, if somebody said the wrong thing, I'd prickle up and like feel really tense and
01:46:10.980
like want to, and I'll probably, it'll come out with a little comment towards them at some
01:46:14.980
point, you know, later or even during the conversation and I just couldn't hide it.
01:46:19.680
I was so uncomfortable with somebody else fucking up because ultimately like the
01:46:24.600
school I went to was just like, people were so hard on each other.
01:46:31.300
So you just develop this thing of like, no one must say anything wrong.
01:46:35.360
No one can come into the situation with an energy that doesn't match everyone else.
01:46:40.360
And it's like, it's such a like, you know, uh, restrictive place to live that.
01:46:50.760
Is that a very British thing you think, or is it just, it is?
01:46:55.460
But I also just, I think it's just the way I grew up.
01:46:59.220
It was a very, the school I went to was like quite, it was, it was a school where you had
01:47:06.040
So, so it wasn't like a private school, but it was for kids who.
01:47:10.860
Yeah, it was for kids who essentially came from all manners of backgrounds, but had a
01:47:16.960
certain level of, of reading comprehension or whatever it was.
01:47:20.680
It was like, they tested you on multiple different things.
01:47:24.060
And so it was a good school to be at because it had kind of like a culturally, like there
01:47:29.320
was a lot of different cultures, but it was very intellectually, it was all about intellectual
01:47:34.320
sparring and, and like when kids are like, in some ways I'd have preferred to have been
01:47:40.920
beaten up than psychologically bullied, you know, because at least then I could have had
01:47:46.020
a chance to like hit someone and get my anger out.
01:47:49.800
Maybe I'm not really sure what's worse, but when kids are like super manipulative and
01:47:54.620
like a bit able to like find your button and like fully fucking fuck the button and
01:48:01.280
then just, and just keep fucking it until you're just like not able to defend yourself.
01:48:06.360
You know, it's like that, that is a, like a different stuff.
01:48:12.020
And I think it puts you in this like psychological like defense for the rest of your life.
01:48:19.700
I mean, I just took fucking ages to like get rid of that thing of like, if someone says
01:48:24.780
something or if I say the worst, honestly, the worst case scenario would be I say something
01:48:29.620
and then in my mind, like everyone just like turns around and just like, what, what the
01:48:52.760
Which is funny, it's a pretty tame worst nightmare to have, but it's what happens in that environment.
01:49:11.000
Speaking of psychological thrillers, I got a clip.
01:49:19.100
They all broke out singing in songs at three hours.
01:49:21.820
Insurance barely probably didn't even cover this.
01:50:09.320
I live with two of my best friends and Jameena.
01:50:12.680
Um, and we've just, yeah, it's a very, it's kind of a modern, modern thing.
01:50:18.960
I wonder, it's, it's interesting how stuff like, like, I wonder if we're getting to this
01:50:23.720
let place in the world where it's like, um, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
01:50:29.620
It's like, we, like, everything feels very vigilante now.
01:50:34.680
It's like the person who's going to, like, it's like the world feels kind of like the
01:50:40.680
You mean like individualistic, like people are just kind of, just doing, they've kind
01:50:54.140
Like Betsy Ross is like the stitching somehow over the past five years has come out.
01:50:59.600
And I don't know if a lot of people are buying into the, this American ideal anymore.
01:51:11.140
I mean, um, Los Angeles is a very, very unclear picture of, of, uh, or at least Hollywood.
01:51:19.220
It's an extremely unclear picture of like people's interaction in general, because if
01:51:24.740
so much of it is incentivized by success or power or fame, uh, or in some way, somebody's
01:51:34.660
like desire or drive to, to like, to achieve something, then obviously things just, they're
01:51:44.380
not, they're not as they, they're not as pure as just, they're not pure basically.
01:51:51.060
I mean, and also, you know, that is just speaking for an industry rather than like Los Angeles
01:51:58.540
as a whole, because Los Angeles as a whole is multifaceted.
01:52:04.100
A lot of times I'll say Los Angeles instead of really, I just mean Hollywood.
01:52:06.620
Um, are there, are, is there like other genres and stuff that you see where you would see
01:52:15.620
Do you feel like you're kind of, have your horizons of even possibility brought broadened
01:52:23.600
Uh, yeah, I, I mean, I started doing, I'm doing a thing like a film, bit of film music
01:52:35.340
Um, I, I, I call it a film, but it's not a kind of, um, movie in the way that like,
01:52:40.260
uh, it's not a, um, you know, the master or something or like a fucking narrative driven
01:52:48.500
movie is a, it's a kind of a more of a visual thing.
01:52:51.280
Um, but I'm really excited about it and I hope that it leads to more of that.
01:52:58.200
And I want to do narrative movies as like proper, you know, that kind of thing.
01:53:02.560
Um, weird that my music is seen as so atmospheric, but that I've not really ever been involved in
01:53:11.500
kind of scoring and stuff, but I've wanted to for a while.
01:53:15.420
So, and, um, yeah, I feel like, yeah, your music does feel like that.
01:53:21.120
I feel like I'm hitchhiking through my own feelings kind of sometimes a little bit.
01:53:27.500
I feel like somebody is kind of hitchhiking through my feelings.
01:53:30.360
Um, and you're picking them up sometimes or not.
01:53:39.920
I think it just kind of depends on whatever feeling I'm in at that moment.
01:53:42.740
What are the feelings that you kind of, like when you listen to music, like what, when,
01:53:49.840
I listen to music for one, when I need a pick me up, I'll listen to certain songs.
01:53:55.760
Uh, I think when I want to feel something, I'll listen to some other stuff.
01:54:00.500
I listen to comedy when I need a pick me up, I think.
01:54:04.200
Cause music is, I guess the thing, the thing is with our jobs is that they, they become,
01:54:20.960
And it's, so now I have to find out things outside.
01:54:24.160
So outside of music and comedy, what, what do you like?
01:54:29.660
Do you, as someone who you, I mean, I feel like we're so similar in the, in the so many
01:54:34.560
ways when you look at the world of people going and experiencing things like, you know,
01:54:41.280
someone's skydiving and somebody's going surfing.
01:54:43.780
Like, do you ever go past the sea and watch people surfing and go, God, I wish I could just
01:54:48.080
like be in the world like that, the way they are.
01:54:54.640
It's hard for, it's for, there's something about it that's tough for me.
01:54:59.620
I want to be the person in the crowd having a good time.
01:55:03.140
You would like, uh, when, uh, when yay said, uh, for me knows Kanye West said, um, I, the,
01:55:13.240
my, my greatest regret is that I was never able to see myself perform live.
01:55:17.400
It seems, seems like an egotistical thing to say, but I think in, in some ways,
01:55:22.920
it articulates something that a lot of performers feel, um, not necessarily present at their
01:55:33.380
And actually they want to be more part of the feeling that everyone else is having than they
01:55:40.700
I think forever, I never went to any comedy or listened to much at all.
01:55:43.580
You know, I did, I think I didn't want to be influenced and I think I was just so stuck
01:55:48.900
I didn't want anything to mess up my world or anything to influence it.
01:55:52.820
You know, I just valued my own little creative space so much, really almost too much.
01:55:57.700
It kept me isolated, but I didn't, um, I didn't want to have, uh, any real influences
01:56:05.340
And sometimes I thought, yeah, I wish I could be the person laughing at the show.
01:56:10.540
If I can't be, at least I'll be as the closest I can to that person will be someone at least
01:56:18.540
It's like, at least then I'm part of the equation.
01:56:21.580
That's how I felt about, uh, DJing, uh, as well, because like, I always felt really
01:56:26.120
self-conscious about dancing and like expressing myself in those ways.
01:56:32.420
I'm very, you know, I mean, I wouldn't say I'm out of proportion, but I, but I'm a long
01:56:37.120
fella, but I'm a long person and I, and I, my limbs, you get shot first in army.
01:56:42.820
I'd be, you know, what's that movie where they, they, they, a wire comes across the ship
01:56:48.180
and all the people that are taller than a certain height get immediately killed.
01:56:56.520
And then also I'm, you know, like, uh, we call them daddy long legs, but they're like
01:57:01.420
mayflies or whatever those, those little insects that have like those really long legs and they
01:57:05.780
just sort of like bumble around, like not knocking into stuff.
01:57:09.360
That's me at like a rave or, you know, something.
01:57:12.800
So I, I just, I like, I'm, I'm, I always feel slightly uncomfortable.
01:57:16.420
Like never, I'm always knocking into people like, Oh shit.
01:57:20.300
And then, you know, back to, you know, losing myself.
01:57:29.640
I find that some, so I, uh, I find that DJing is like an amazing way of like not having
01:57:36.160
to, just not having to contend with any of that stuff.
01:57:39.120
And instead I can just stand there and be worshiped like a God.
01:57:43.920
I can be just present the music that everyone just gets, you know, gets to do that too.
01:57:51.040
And then I'm, then at least my excuse can be that, well, I can't be down there at the
01:58:02.520
And no one can come up to me and make some small talk that I can't hear.
01:58:08.560
And then I don't have, there's no chance of me like saying something dumb to someone
01:58:12.900
or like not, you know, not having a cool social interaction.
01:58:17.760
I can just stand up there and people can assume that I'm cool because I'm D because
01:58:28.480
It's like, if you're in that space, it kind of keeps you safe from everything.
01:58:36.480
And people give DJs such a, you know, it's like a mythology.
01:58:40.400
I mean, you must think even that's crazy a hundred percent and, and they pay them way
01:58:49.420
DJing is like the, I don't know how that works.
01:58:56.700
Have you been to festivals and stuff where it's just like DJ festivals and stuff?
01:59:01.520
So sometimes do you just DJ and sometimes you play your music?
01:59:07.380
It's like, um, uh, for me, there's, I mean, it's such a craft to it and it's so deep.
01:59:12.880
Like it's great, a great DJ is like, uh, you know, controlling the vibe of the entire
01:59:18.640
place and like can be in tune with genuinely in tune with the crowd.
01:59:22.380
And like, it's a, it's a real, um, you know, you can go into a set not knowing at all what
01:59:29.060
you're going to play and just, and just watch the crowd and figure out how you're going to
01:59:33.700
like you're, you're coming on after the next, the DJ before you, and you're watching how
01:59:39.960
they're playing to the crowd and you're seeing what works and then you're going, okay, what's
01:59:43.820
in my record bag that I can, you're back in the day I'd play vinyl.
01:59:47.460
And so I'd be, you know, just kind of acting on it's real in the moment decisions.
01:59:55.320
Like this tune is in the right key or it's in the right tempo.
01:59:59.640
It was in the right, it's the right vibe to come on to, to follow on from the last thing
02:00:04.400
and like, oh, this one will get them like this one will get them dancing or this one.
02:00:09.820
So that feeling is like, you're kind of living through them vicariously.
02:00:15.420
You're like experiencing that hype and that fun with them and through them.
02:00:21.180
And then you can kind of like, kind of pretend you're at your own show at the same time.
02:00:25.540
And it's, it's like psychological and it's, it's also,
02:00:33.660
you're getting to hear all your favorite music and like, it's just, it's brilliant.
02:00:41.460
My friend Satchfield is a DJ down in New Orleans and he's one of my best friends from growing
02:00:44.760
up and I get to watch him like, you know, how he looks at a group of people and like,
02:00:50.160
you know, you can see the wheels start turning in his head and like, and he knows so much
02:00:55.540
So you just start to think like, you start to see him grin and kind of like, all right,
02:01:12.200
Uh, Philadelphia man just ate a rotisserie chicken every day for 40 days.
02:01:19.520
He's on the, uh, the, the, um, Jordan Peterson diet.
02:01:24.840
Oh, I went to dinner with Jordan Peterson, man.
02:01:26.540
And, uh, during the pandemic with him and his daughter and her boyfriend, and they ordered
02:01:35.120
And brother, at the end of the meal, there's literally a plate of bones in the middle of
02:01:40.180
It very much had like this game of Thrones type of vibe.
02:01:47.340
I think somebody had sparkling water and they even frowned at him a little, whoever it
02:01:51.720
Other people had flat water, but somebody bubbled up and everybody was like, you whore.
02:01:55.840
So they just went, but in the end, it looked like a plate, like a batch of, looking a batch
02:02:02.860
I'll have to, we'll have to put some pictures in.
02:02:04.900
I, uh, could you ever go all birded out like this?
02:02:08.560
I'm, I've never done 40 days of eating whole chickens, but I've, um, I mean, I'm vegetarian,
02:02:20.820
He didn't really have a reason, which is my criticism.
02:02:23.080
He just said he's doing it to bring people together.
02:02:25.080
So I don't, I mean, judging by that picture, it did bring a lot of people together.
02:02:40.260
This looks like a lot of like a, like a, uh, pre-party for a renaissance fair.
02:02:44.220
I feel like it looks like a, it looks like a, a paint, a renaissance painting.
02:02:50.140
It actually would be really cool if somebody made like a nice painting of that, you know,
02:02:55.060
You can challenge, I mean, there's a lot of great bits of art in here.
02:02:58.080
I think you should challenge your listeners to, to paint this because it's a, it's a wonderful
02:03:07.280
I wonder how many of those, I wonder if that crowd grew over the 40 days to this.
02:03:16.440
I'm sure after day eight or something of her being lonely.
02:03:19.160
Well, I imagine the smell probably got, got, um, quite overwhelming.
02:03:25.880
I think there's something, uh, yeah, there's something Oedipal or something going on.
02:03:36.020
I could, I don't even really know what that means, but.
02:03:44.460
Although I did, I did, I did one time, uh, do a job at a festival where I was part of
02:03:51.740
Um, and they gave us a, uh, one baked potato for lunch, for lunch and dinner.
02:03:59.020
It was a one baked potato, which I thought was unreasonable to say the least.
02:04:04.980
I mean, it was a, they weren't, they didn't give you any butter or anything.
02:04:07.800
It was just, you, you queued up for a baked potato and that was your sustenance for the
02:04:12.620
Every British story I feel like has like some mild starvation somewhere in it.
02:04:22.740
Have you ever seen the four Yorkshiremen sketch?
02:04:26.280
Basically, it's a bunch of people sitting around being like, you know, where are we?
02:04:32.380
When we grew up, we didn't have a pot to piss in, you know, we didn't blah, blah, blah.
02:04:35.840
And then the other guy's like, yeah, well, I mean, we didn't even have a house.
02:04:41.560
And when our dad came home, he beat us around the head and it was like, oh, you were lucky.
02:04:46.780
We had a, you know, our dad would come home and stab us and we'd live in a pond, you know?
02:04:53.620
Anyway, so that's, that's like, but it's like a classic, uh, I mean, I'm really miss.
02:04:59.740
But it's, but it's a, it's a classic English sketch and that's kind of what the, the baked
02:05:03.400
potato thing sort of like conjures really is this like stark, uh, just, you know, scarcity
02:05:13.240
mentality situation where, but, but, but, but then it's at a festival where everyone's having
02:05:20.760
Um, yeah, everybody's all geeked up on, uh, Molly eating baked potatoes and all.
02:05:25.180
Well, I mean, they were all eating, you know, from food trucks and like, so we were just,
02:05:29.020
but anyway, so I, I worked there and, and, um, but that was only for two days and then
02:05:33.560
I got fired, I think, cause I just wasn't, I wasn't, I just, I felt a way about the potatoes.
02:05:51.740
I feel like the, remember the one kid that would come back from summer tall and everybody
02:05:55.120
be like, what in the, look at this motherfucker.
02:05:57.420
You know, people would all be like, Oh, look at this show off.
02:06:01.720
Oh, look at this guy with his pussy ass little cervical spine.
02:06:06.440
You know, and they start saying all that kind of shit.
02:06:11.880
And then I learned to love my height over time, but it started.
02:06:19.940
Oh, it would, I think it would be such an adventure, but it would be very interesting
02:06:24.500
when you put your arm out of the bed and it just touches the floor.
02:06:37.120
I mean, it probably accounts for some of my personality.
02:06:41.900
A lot of your song, there's definitely a lot of loss, a lot of like, Jesus, huh?
02:06:46.040
Some gal left this guy at the day old bread store, you know?
02:06:54.540
Like, where do you think some of that comes from?
02:07:19.720
I mean, in this country, that's probably not as uncommon because, maybe because of religious
02:07:25.740
I don't know what the exchange rate of virginity is, really.
02:07:28.860
I think it's probably about 1 to 1, 0.6 to 1 when it comes to like British to American.
02:07:38.520
Um, so like what the dollar to the pound used to be.
02:07:44.180
Um, and I just didn't, I was always very ashamed of that at the time.
02:07:54.840
And I, and I was also wasn't like, I wasn't in the game.
02:08:01.000
I was really on the sidelines just kind of being like, people will be talking about sex
02:08:14.160
Man, you'd be wearing like a Man City jersey just talking about it like this.
02:08:24.000
So you were really on the sidelines just of like, kind of like a lot of social stuff kind
02:08:29.360
I was, I think I was just a, I was an outsider in a lot of ways and, uh.
02:08:33.680
Cause that gives you a lot of time to observe stuff and see it.
02:08:37.020
But I was also like, I was kind of semi-popular in other ways.
02:08:39.980
Like I was, I was always like a bit of a, I was always a bit of a class clown and I
02:08:45.660
was, I, I got in trouble a lot and I was always very kind of insolent and like,
02:08:51.440
not, I don't know if I was acting out cause I thought it was cool or cause I thought it
02:08:56.020
was, I genuinely had a lot of like, uh, like I, I was, um, anti-establishment in general.
02:09:03.600
Like I just felt, I just felt, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be at school as well.
02:09:09.400
I always felt like I was supposed to be, you know, um, in music somewhere doing something
02:09:18.140
Just, I just knew that I wasn't supposed to, I knew I didn't need science.
02:09:21.440
School probably always felt very novice to you.
02:09:25.520
It probably felt novice to you, um, in a, in a strange way.
02:09:29.600
It didn't feel, it didn't feel like beneath me or it didn't feel, it didn't feel like I,
02:09:33.980
I didn't feel like I was too smart for it or I didn't feel like I was just for, I just
02:09:40.180
I don't cause I know where I'm going and I don't need any of this stuff.
02:09:49.220
I just need to be 10 years older and then I'll have what I want.
02:09:54.020
And also there was this thing, I can't remember what it was, alpha personality or something.
02:09:57.360
Basically where you have this thing where you're like, in the future, I'm going to get everything
02:10:03.380
And so it's okay that I'm suffering now, you know, so there's this delusional kind of thing
02:10:18.040
But I'm going to be this, I'm going to, you know, be a 23 year old virgin.
02:10:23.880
Uh, and so I, um, I just move this mic down just a touch.
02:10:34.680
It's my, it's my first time on a, on a podcast.
02:10:48.440
I didn't even know I was dropping her off at your house too.
02:10:51.580
You thought there was a long career in podcasting with her ahead of you.
02:11:08.640
I waited and it wasn't, I didn't do it in a kind of, um, like a religious sense, but I think there was a spiritual component to it.
02:11:17.940
I think I was waiting for someone I had a spiritual connection with.
02:11:21.220
Um, but actually in the end, I lost, lost my virginity to someone around someone kind of random who I had no connection with at all.
02:11:29.920
Um, but the relationship I ended up in was one that was great.
02:11:38.280
And, and, um, and then I only had one more relationship after that and that's the one I'm in.
02:11:46.840
And you guys have been in love for a long time.
02:11:58.620
Um, she's incredible and, you know, it, I guess it does feel like we've, it just always feels like we've been together a year, which is kind of amazing.
02:12:10.480
That's kind of a cool lyric or something like that.
02:12:15.200
Although, you know, people are, people are strange about listening to love songs about songs.
02:12:26.780
If that's the case, it almost becomes a little bit.
02:12:31.600
Does it take on more of a country music vibe then sometime a little bit?
02:12:35.300
I should get, become a country artist and then people would accept.
02:12:45.180
You want me, you want me to be completely fucking heartbroken.
02:12:48.260
I want the person to be as lonely as I probably am feeling or it's like, you know, you want
02:12:55.920
And look, James's music is an all lonely music.
02:12:57.940
If you haven't heard it, it's all, it's all types of stuff, but it's a nice way to want,
02:13:01.780
I find it to, it's, it's, it's, it's changes a lot, but it's, it's, um, there's all different.
02:13:08.260
But I did become known for like a very, you know, um, a period in my life where I wrote a lot
02:13:16.960
of the music that I became known for was a time of immense sadness and loneliness for
02:13:21.980
So, I mean, I guess it came out sounding a little bit forlorn and a little bit that, but
02:13:27.800
also at the same time, it's uplifting music at the same time, because it's like, it's
02:13:31.340
a bit like, um, a bit like with Radiohead, for example, there's, there's certain bands
02:13:36.560
who through time have, have got the criticism of sad or as if that's criticism.
02:13:44.880
I don't know why, but you know, sad or doubt or depressing or whatever.
02:13:49.060
And I think that's just a reflection of whoever is listening most of the time.
02:13:54.040
I mean, something can sound dreary and on some day be dreary and on another day be completely
02:14:00.080
It just depends what your mood is and how it's.
02:14:03.080
And also I would never want to like, I'd never want to, uh, discourage.
02:14:08.300
And I hate language that discourages people from listening to music that gives them emotional
02:14:14.400
Like, that's why I had such a problem with the sad boy term.
02:14:18.080
And like, when I would, I'd get written about in, in like publications, like, you know, certain
02:14:23.940
publications, basically who would, who would write, you know, like one of the things was
02:14:29.520
like, he needs to, maybe should get out more or like, I was just like, you don't get it.
02:14:35.400
Like you don't get that there are people who feel the same thing as I feel.
02:14:43.140
And by this language, what you're saying is like, don't do that.
02:14:48.700
And you might be, you might actually be taking away someone's emotional comfort blanket that
02:14:59.000
I think that's an honest too about like, sometimes on this podcast, I'll talk about feelings and
02:15:03.640
And sometimes I feel like it gets, it's tough because I have to, I have to walk this line.
02:15:10.000
I don't want to get, actually, I don't care if I get melancholy, but I don't want to get
02:15:20.640
It's tough because you don't notice it happening.
02:15:24.860
And, and it can, and it can certainly, it can certainly happen.
02:15:28.780
And I think with, with music though, it's interesting because it's like music and musicians,
02:15:37.440
It's like, man, this, you'll see somebody who won't even talk probably to their wife or
02:15:42.060
something, but then they'll, they'll both get there and sing a song together or dance
02:15:47.660
It's like, well, that video of everyone singing, I can't remember what it is.
02:15:51.900
The people trapped in a mental hospital singing Katy Perry, you know, or whatever.
02:15:58.120
I mean, you know, and to some extent there is some truth in, you know, like the parent,
02:16:02.980
our parents' generation would just be like, no, don't talk about it.
02:16:17.840
Just, just, just, um, you know, to some extent, like talk about it to a friend, but other than
02:16:22.980
that, just get on with it and, you know, you'll, you'll be, uh, you can, you know,
02:16:36.940
You know, it's like, you know, it's like, yeah, I saw that Brit, you know, that was
02:16:41.100
It was just, you know, it's like, yeah, I think we're also like, there's just an inner human.
02:16:53.980
And I think we've, you know, when you look at how much feeling and stuff is in there at
02:17:03.700
And then, but then I think what you're touching on is quite interesting.
02:17:05.760
Cause it's like, we're not, there is a certain point at which it's not productive anymore.
02:17:11.920
And, you know, I think that coming to a balance between our generation, maybe, and the generation
02:17:19.280
before us or a couple before us, a balance between those two mentalities of like, you
02:17:24.800
know, maybe self victimization on our account or kind of going over the same things over
02:17:32.240
and over again and not realizing you're in a cycle or pattern or just kind of like focusing
02:17:39.360
so much on the trauma that you're not actually kind of paying attention to like actual real
02:17:45.480
life practices that can help you or like forward motion, forward momentum.
02:17:49.560
Like the fact that achievement actually genuinely does, you know, can be a good motivation
02:17:55.840
or, you know, like general, um, kind of, yeah, like positive thinking, like lots of, you
02:18:05.340
know, it's like you can just dwell on things and we have, uh, a, you know, there is a school
02:18:12.240
of thought that says being in constant kind of term, kind of, uh, digging up of things
02:18:23.140
I think there's a balance to be struck and the, the kind of, uh, wisdom in the older generations
02:18:29.520
sometimes is that, um, that we, there is a lot of common, common, uh, commonality to
02:18:39.660
be found between people and that our differences sometimes are not always worth dwelling on
02:18:45.500
and that we are, we are strong, capable, uh, people who can fucking get it done, get it
02:19:05.240
It starts to create sometimes too much of a world where you're always trying to help yourself
02:19:08.580
and you're reading up and taking in so much stuff about, you know, inspirational, but you're
02:19:15.840
And also that's an industry that's a, people are profiting off your, your, your constant
02:19:20.300
engagement with self-help, your constant engagement.
02:19:22.800
It's like at a certain point, it's like, are you okay?
02:19:25.760
You know, if you're not, you know, I, I think that we, I always encourage being, uh, aware
02:19:31.420
of your emotions and trying to delve into them and like figure them out.
02:19:34.960
Um, but I think there is a, there is a certain point where it's time to rejoin the world and
02:19:47.280
I mean, you, yeah, I find you will, if you sit there in that feeling long enough, looking
02:19:51.020
around inside of it and looking at the, reading the graffiti and shit, you will, then that's
02:19:56.620
You know, I start to realize it's like, you know, they always say you can act your way
02:20:00.280
into positive thinking, but you can't think your way into positive action, you know?
02:20:06.300
Cause I like to dwell, I like to wander around in the, in the, um, in the art museum of my
02:20:12.160
childhood and of my like things that meant something to me and like my first kiss and
02:20:21.500
And like, I like to wander around and look at all the artifacts and things, but you can't
02:20:27.520
And there's a time to shut it off and leave the museum.
02:20:29.640
Um, yeah, there's a, um, kind of a, I think it was my girlfriend just talking about like,
02:20:34.640
you know, being in this hole and just like painting the walls and it's just, now it's
02:20:39.400
It's like, which is now sounds, but no, it's semi-sexual in a way that I didn't want it
02:20:45.460
to, but that's, you know, that is to some extent, it like sums up where you can get to
02:20:53.440
where you can draw the map perfectly of how your emotions have your, of your emotional
02:21:00.900
You can become so obsessed with like understanding your emotional state that actually you've
02:21:07.480
kind of taken focus off actual forward momentum and living.
02:21:10.740
Um, and yeah, so, and I think huge, yeah, it is.
02:21:13.780
And I think a lot of people who are in that place, they, they, you know, a lot of people
02:21:18.180
who you, have you noticed this when someone's just for the first time discovering like shit
02:21:24.740
that they've done wrong or the things that they like not happy about with themselves, they're
02:21:29.520
just constantly talking about it and they want to talk about it to everyone and every,
02:21:33.520
you know, and, and they're going into such detail and you're just like, but that's someone
02:21:46.220
Um, and yeah, I eventually I wanted to get to a place where I just didn't have to talk
02:21:50.700
about it, you know, and I could just talk about other shit.
02:21:54.520
Or at least look back on it with a sense of power and not be standing in it as much.
02:22:03.500
This is saying to like, this is saying like, you have to kind of like become that like evangelizing
02:22:09.320
kind of just to, just to, you know, you've got to destabilize first.
02:22:14.400
I think that's why it's so hard sometimes to imagine looking inwards because initially
02:22:20.520
you're going to have to go through a period of complete destabilization.
02:22:26.140
Um, which I think it's amazing that you have, uh, cause and I've been public about it and
02:22:33.500
And a lot of people have probably done it through you and with you.
02:22:36.460
I think, you know, we just try and we will, we wonder sometimes what is our instrument?
02:22:40.140
Why does God have us here that, you know, to share whatever, you know, it's like, you
02:22:44.600
It's like, what is the little piece of the universe that's supposed to fly out of you?
02:22:50.140
So do you, do you out of side of, um, like podcasting, is there like a hobby that you
02:23:02.420
I used to play and then I just got a new piano at home.
02:23:14.600
I grew up around this place called Baldwin Motors.
02:23:19.300
We looked at Baldwin Motors, Covington, Louisiana.
02:23:21.580
So I don't know if they make, I don't know if they also do pianos or this is a family.
02:23:28.560
I mean, it'd be amazing if they did cars and pianos.
02:23:41.260
Although Yamaha make pianos and they also make 4,000.
02:23:53.380
That man ate those chickens, but I didn't really.
02:24:13.320
It seems like a number of chickens that shouldn't exist all at the same time.
02:24:17.500
Well, and it just like, what, you know, I just see some man just pulling.
02:24:20.980
And the chicken always feels like it's just barely chicken.
02:24:24.180
It just, it feels like they've been through it all, you know, like also if you just put
02:24:28.500
it down like to, you know, if we were really to analyze that situation, it's like, it's
02:24:48.800
But it's like just watching a man get bored for 40 days.
02:24:55.580
Someone could, I could watch a man getting bored.
02:24:58.880
I could just talk to the person I, my, uh, Dom, my, my producer, co-producer friend, asking
02:25:06.560
I don't think being bored for 40 days is, is entertainment.
02:25:14.140
Like that's what entertainment also is becoming.
02:25:17.380
Like I would watch a woman, like a small woman eat, like maybe a hot dog or a piece of cake
02:25:33.840
Well, there's a Japanese show where they have little children go run to the market for their
02:25:41.720
It's like a little bit of voiceover and you just watch them go on the little journey.
02:25:46.340
It's the show has to be for two to four year olds.
02:25:51.340
But all of those shows are, I feel like they're universal ages really.
02:25:55.180
Well, this one is just something to learn from things like that.
02:26:04.620
You just, while you're like, Oh, is he going to, you know, is kimchi going to make the
02:26:08.540
lemonade or whatever, you know, when he does it and you're just damn blown away.
02:26:26.140
Since children as young as two out into the world alone, it's an absolute roller coaster
02:26:30.240
The Japanese TV show that abandons toddlers on public transport.
02:26:38.680
You see them go out there and they're just, who is that right there?
02:26:52.620
Um, I think there's something pandemic-y about that.
02:27:04.540
Dude, did you, um, dude, do you remember that time when I came to saw you and saw you do
02:27:17.340
Dude, I remember you inviting me out to this place and I, it was in Malibu.
02:27:29.640
So I pulled up and you and, um, and I didn't know that it was him there.
02:27:33.440
You didn't tell me that you were working, you know, you just said you were working in
02:27:37.600
And I came up and you guys were working on something.
02:27:47.620
Is it interesting with celebrity how you kind of pat, like you'll become like, you know,
02:27:51.940
together for a while with certain, and then you, it just-
02:27:55.820
You just, yeah, you just sort of pass each other.
02:27:59.980
Like, I've talked to him fairly regularly and, um, he's just, I mean, he's, he's like
02:28:13.400
Just, uh, I find him always inspiring and probably still, he's still such a different
02:28:23.180
And although he did go on the, the Ricky, um, the Rick Rubin podcast and say he's never
02:28:32.780
Well, I mean, he's just generally talking about music, you know, full stop.
02:28:42.140
Just, he just felt like, I think he was saying something along the lines of, you know, he
02:28:45.340
just feels sort of out the game or like not really part of that.
02:28:50.940
And he's just expressing himself in all these different ways.
02:28:54.460
We did make, we did a thing where he was playing clarinet and I was playing piano.
02:28:59.440
Um, I don't, I think for me, it's like, I don't, uh, I just want to help as a producer
02:29:08.700
I just want to help someone express the thing they want to express.
02:29:11.760
And if Andre 3000 isn't in a time of his life where he wants to make rap music, then I'll
02:29:22.660
Or help him express, maybe even just realize that, Hey, this isn't a time where you want
02:29:38.080
Are there some amazing songs out there that you think have been made that were not put,
02:29:43.960
There's a lot of amazing, a lot of songs out there that I shouldn't think shouldn't have
02:29:54.540
There's a lot of amazing songs I've heard in studios that never came out for sure.
02:30:05.900
It's terrible when you hear them and you're like, Oh, I can't wait.
02:30:11.180
I can't wait for that to come out and people to hear it.
02:30:13.320
And yeah, because it's something happens, like promo doesn't work out.
02:30:18.160
Like someone, somebody like an A&R says, Oh, I'm not really sure about that one.
02:30:22.180
Or someone says to the artist, like what a friend of theirs says, Oh, I don't like that
02:30:26.220
And it just turns them off it or they develop negative association with that song.
02:30:33.720
I mean, I've got songs and my hard drive is thousands, thousands of songs that haven't
02:30:44.860
You know, some songs just feel like a moment and it's like, if you don't put them out soon,
02:30:48.560
you're not, you just, you're not going to, uh, you're never going to feel like that again.
02:30:53.080
Or maybe sometimes like I didn't nail the vocal take.
02:30:56.900
I didn't fully, so I don't like the way I'm singing.
02:30:59.820
So I can't be bothered going back in and singing again.
02:31:02.140
So there's all these songs that the actual DNA of the song is good, but you can't be
02:31:09.320
bothered doing it again, going back into that place.
02:31:15.700
It's like, sometimes, you know, it's like, man, we were so close right there for that
02:31:20.780
And it's like, sometimes those things are batches of songs.
02:31:23.380
So like, there'll be a batch of songs that sounded like retrograde or there'll be a batch
02:31:28.500
of songs that sounded like say what you will, but say what you will was the best of that
02:31:31.660
batch and retrograde was the best of that batch.
02:31:33.860
So I put that out instead of lots of kind of kind of similar tone songs in a similar tone
02:31:43.800
Did you ever get to work with like Willie Nelson or John Mayer?
02:32:00.240
No, is he making, is he making, is he making music and yeah, I think he is.
02:32:04.060
He has a daughter, I think Ray, our granddaughter, Ray Lynn Nelson, I think who also does music.
02:32:10.360
Is there an artist that you feel like, I guess you, do you get pitched artists?
02:32:13.880
Do you pitch your, does your agent kind of pitch you to artists?
02:32:19.800
I've found if it's a, if there's an A&R connection or some kind of industry connection, it doesn't
02:32:24.580
really, you know, usually from me just getting in touch on Instagram and saying like, I love
02:32:33.120
Um, kind of like how, how we met, I mean, obviously we're not collaborating, although
02:32:40.180
Um, but you know, we just, like jam jam, jam's quite good at just reaching out.
02:32:48.480
She was like, you know, you can just reach out to people directly.
02:32:51.080
And I was like, she's great at connecting with people.
02:32:54.140
She's just got Simon Rex and he's great at connecting.
02:32:57.540
So that's like two great connectors is your, he's so good in that movie.
02:33:10.940
At the beginning, you're like, Oh, this is my buddy Simon by the end.
02:33:26.520
Hollywood's so interesting like that, you know?
02:33:28.520
Um, I mean, maybe come back to maybe the right word.
02:33:31.360
Sort of just like a re-entry into the, you know, the world.
02:33:40.380
And so that's really, you know, yeah, you're at the end of the line.
02:33:45.000
When you're living in a national park, you're really, you're trying to, you know, you're
02:33:51.560
But there's enough hikes around to keep you safe.
02:33:57.560
Uh, but he moved out to like Joshua tree and he was just kind of living his life.
02:34:01.580
And then this producer saw him on Instagram and said, you are perfect.
02:34:06.580
Cause he's like an incredible looking, hilarious person.
02:34:11.780
And he, and he's long and goo, you know, has goofy elements and like, um, but just the
02:34:18.480
And so it was really awesome to get to see him like, and just to see his pride that he
02:34:23.660
felt like you want to, everybody wants to feel like they are capable maybe, or they matter.
02:34:33.840
Or that they, we all just want to feel a little bit of that.
02:34:37.500
Well, like we can just do the thing that we're good at in the limelight for just a moment.
02:34:44.720
And, you know, there's definitely a thing inside a lot of the people that's just sort
02:34:50.080
of screaming for that occasionally every so often.
02:34:53.620
And if you can, if you, if you happen to be in a position where you can like satisfy that
02:34:58.040
voice, it's a nice place to be because otherwise that can eat you up on it.
02:35:03.000
Like if you just can't ever vocalize it or you can't ever satisfy it.
02:35:07.800
And it can be satisfied even just in a relationship.
02:35:09.880
It could be satisfied by that one person that you're with, it could be satisfied by a parent
02:35:14.760
It could be satisfied by a million people, you know, it could, it could need to be, it's
02:35:21.440
It just has to land in that place that is set that you feel seen.
02:35:29.900
So I, uh, and some people that only takes one person, you know, it takes a wife or a girlfriend
02:35:35.540
or boyfriend or a parent, just that's all it takes in there.
02:35:38.140
Or to be the biggest thing in someone's life, be the center of somebody's kind of universe.
02:35:50.220
I started doing, I, I, I, I've been doing a little bit of just.
02:35:56.120
I took 30 days off of dating so I could get an idea of what I was kind of doing.
02:36:11.620
Nashville has been even tougher kind of really, really.
02:36:15.680
And so it's been kind of a tough place to go, um, you know, to meet folks.
02:36:20.380
Do your interests line up with the people in LA or, or in Nashville more?
02:36:26.760
I think you can kind of find the same type of people anywhere.
02:36:29.160
You know, I'm not like, I'm just kind of middle of the road.
02:36:34.000
I, you know, I think I'm trying to think of something that really turns me off about somebody.
02:36:44.940
But if they, if they're attractive enough, you might, I would, I'd probably still order dessert with them, you know, so I'd mill around a bit.
02:36:55.120
So if they did that through start a main course and dessert, and they're just pulling the weight over like that.
02:37:00.620
Unless they were like setting up pentameter for some dope ass beat that I didn't know was coming, you know, or it was like a flash mob or something that never started.
02:37:08.640
They're just like, Hey guys, they think it's going to happen as long as they just keep.
02:37:13.480
So, um, have you gotten invited to go play at like some weird private events or something that was really interesting?
02:37:18.860
You're like, okay, this seems strange or not strange.
02:37:21.740
I've done some core, I've done a couple of corporate things that I ended up not doing anymore after that because I just felt, you know, a couple of fashion events and things where very Zoolander type stuff.
02:37:33.420
You know, um, but no, I don't, I, you know, I haven't had the, like, I haven't had the sort of, um,
02:37:50.460
Like some crazy thing where they invite you to like a big bean conference or something.
02:37:57.120
Um, but, and if, and the things I have done that were a bit weird, I think I'm under contract to not, to not talk about the thing.
02:38:08.880
When I say a bit weird, I mean like, yeah, like, um, like maybe,
02:38:15.340
maybe it's not the kind of gig that like, it was a shit gig.
02:38:24.540
And there's, and I was like, okay, let's not have any videos of that one.
02:38:33.840
I'm glad that, um, we get to spend some time together, you know?
02:38:37.980
I mean, and I'd love to, you know, this is, I've never done this sort of, I've never been part of the podcasting universe particularly.
02:38:48.260
I'm really glad we got to, that I'm really glad that you, that you, that you came on.
02:38:53.240
Well, it felt like, like walking through the screen in a way, walking into this, uh, this thing.
02:39:06.160
No, that you, well, they've just, they've been of, you know, they've watched your shit for so long that they're just like in the seat where other people are sitting.
02:39:15.340
I think people don't know what to think sometimes.
02:39:17.260
I think they're a little bit shocked at just how the production works and then suddenly you're there.
02:39:23.120
It is interesting how it goes from just us sitting here talking into like a conversation that people could listen to or segments of a conversation.
02:39:31.880
I mean, we probably, like, I feel like our conversations are pretty wide reaching anyway.
02:39:39.360
This reminded me, I think a lot of like why I always have enjoyed chatting with you, you know?
02:39:47.280
What would you say that you think to like, I know this is kind of a general thing, but it's like, if there's somebody who's having trouble expressing themselves or figuring out how to do that, what suggestion do you think you would give to somebody like that?
02:40:09.240
Um, and if you express yourself to someone and they kind of like lightly punish you for doing it, uh, whether that's rejecting you or whatever it is, then maybe they're just not the right person to do that with.
02:40:26.200
But there will be someone who will like your music, take you.
02:40:32.600
Like your music or they'll, or like, they'll take you as you are basically as a person.
02:40:39.060
We spend so much of our time trying to adjust our song to fit the audience instead of finding the person that hears it, you know?
02:40:46.300
And to be, I think true confidence is, is just being confident that, sorry, using it twice, but true confidence is, is being in a situation and just knowing that you'd be okay if that person didn't like what you said or didn't like, you know, kind of rejected you or whatever.
02:41:07.740
And I, that's hard to get to even, even now I've on that pretty difficult.
02:41:11.900
Um, but, uh, and in so many ways I've, I've edited myself to death, like to, to, to be okay for everyone else's consumption.
02:41:20.960
But I think to some extent it's like kind of saying what's in on your mind anyway and come what may, because ultimately.
02:41:37.740
The fastest way to find out if you're in the right situation is to be yourself and, uh, you can spend many years doing the opposite, not being yourself and hoping that people will accept you.
02:41:55.160
You're never gonna, you're never gonna fully swim.
02:41:57.240
Um, you'll, you'll only, you'll never scratch the full itch of, of, uh, you, you and, and friendship and love and real connection because you've never been your true self.
02:42:18.040
Relationships, friends, like all sorts of things, like things that may not, yeah.
02:42:24.120
This isn't, you know, I've struggled with that with dating and stuff to be like, I'm just afraid to let go because what it, you know, it's just such a reaction.
02:42:32.060
You know, what if some part of me, there's a subconscious part of me that's what if there's nothing else, you know?
02:42:37.440
Is there like, have you met people where you've, you've kind of felt like now the idea of them not being there is too scary to actually leave the situation, even though it's probably not right.
02:42:48.760
Oh, I think it's happened to me before in the past for sure.
02:42:50.960
You know, I think taking some time from dating and stuff helps me get a better view of that and see it, you know?
02:43:00.000
I mean, I've been in a relationship for eight years.
02:43:03.020
I just got on, I just created a profile on Raya, but I haven't opened it up.
02:43:07.980
So I'm not sure if I want to, I'm kind of like, it's been like a month now that I've had it.
02:43:12.500
And I just don't know if I, I just don't know how much I want to be spending my time trying to manage that.
02:43:22.260
And then how much do I want to just kind of let it happen?
02:43:26.440
And also when your job, I mean, I guess you meet a lot of people in your job.
02:43:34.940
Although you could, you could change that, I guess.
02:43:39.060
You might find more like minds, um, in, in, in the, in the female space.
02:43:44.620
I might have to get, I can get a couple more dames around, you know, wouldn't be a bad idea.
02:43:48.280
But the, I remember being on in my, in my year, I think between two relationships being single and having a Raya account.
02:43:56.700
And the one of the, I was like scrolling and the, one of the interests someone put was coconut oil and I just closed the app and deleted it.
02:44:23.260
It's so nice to be here and thanks for having me.
02:44:25.680
You know, I'm a fan as well as a friend, but I just, uh, I love what you do and it's great to actually see the place.
02:44:39.200
And, um, is there music that people can like, you know, it's such a generic question, but
02:44:43.440
yo, is there, you're going to keep making music.
02:44:50.400
Um, the next thing I think is going to be more of a, more of a dance orientated slash more
02:44:56.440
Um, which I've just, um, yeah, I'm in the process of finishing, but who knows how long that
02:45:03.240
kind of thing takes so, but I'm also, I'm, I've got a club night that I'm, I'm doing at
02:45:08.120
the moment called CMYK, uh, in partnership with Rhonda, uh, a club named Rhonda, um, Rhonda
02:45:16.300
And that's my, uh, club night that I've been doing around the country.
02:45:19.340
And so if anyone wants to come and see me DJ and I'm playing a lot of my new music there,
02:45:34.440
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club.
02:46:03.940
A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, standup stories,
02:46:17.180
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
02:46:26.020
I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
02:46:34.620
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
02:46:40.760
I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
02:46:43.680
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
02:46:50.320
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
02:46:54.640
Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
02:46:58.880
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
02:47:04.660
And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.