This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 25, 2023


E441 Glenny Balls


Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 30 minutes

Words per minute

220.57175

Word count

33,262

Sentence count

3,543

Harmful content

Misogyny

161

sentences flagged

Toxicity

581

sentences flagged

Hate speech

108

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Glennie Balls is an Italian-American entertainer and host of the Only Stands show where he interviews Only Fans content creators. In this episode, we get to know Glennie a little bit better and learn more about his family name and what it means to him.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
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00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.
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00:00:22.240 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.
00:00:25.260 Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:00:27.340 Sponsored by Bell. Conditions apply.
00:00:28.580 See AirCanada.com.
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00:01:01.280 I have some new tour dates to announce.
00:01:03.440 I will be in Phoenix, Arizona on April 30th at Arizona Financial Theater.
00:01:09.640 That'll be the biggest show I've ever done now.
00:01:13.500 Austin, Texas on June 10th at the Bass Concert Hall.
00:01:19.180 Guilford, New Hampshire, June 20th.
00:01:21.660 July 20th, I'm sorry.
00:01:23.660 At the Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion.
00:01:26.000 And Windsor, Ontario on August 18th at the Coliseum at Caesars, Windsor.
00:01:35.620 And Niagara Falls, Ontario on August 28th at the Falls View Casino.
00:01:41.600 Those tickets are available now.
00:01:43.080 Get all your tickets at Theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. 1.00
00:01:48.580 Thank you for getting tickets through there and nowhere else.
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00:02:10.860 So, today's guest is an entertainer.
00:02:14.220 He's that ravioli baby.
00:02:18.220 You know, he's everything, dude. 1.00
00:02:21.480 He's a damn. 0.99
00:02:22.760 He's Super Mario's second cousin who runs a bakery low-key. 1.00
00:02:27.920 You know what I'm saying?
00:02:28.540 He's that beautiful man, an Italian.
00:02:31.000 And we're going to learn more about him.
00:02:32.320 You know him from Barstool.
00:02:35.640 He's that side slurper.
00:02:37.100 That lactose monkey on the edge of Sunday Conversations.
00:02:42.560 And he is also the host of his Only Stands show, where he interviews OnlyFans content creators.
00:02:52.120 This is our first time really getting to know each other.
00:02:55.080 I'm grateful for his time.
00:02:56.700 Today's guest is Glennie Balls.
00:03:00.120 Shine that light on me
00:03:03.800 I'll sit and tell you my stories
00:03:09.800 Shine on me
00:03:14.540 And I will find a song
00:03:18.720 I've been singing
00:03:19.920 I love the stars
00:03:20.940 Balls, baby. 0.99
00:03:28.680 What's up, dude?
00:03:29.880 Good to see you, man.
00:03:30.880 I'm very excited to be here.
00:03:31.920 This is exciting.
00:03:32.760 Yeah, is it? 0.98
00:03:33.320 So people say, Glennie, they say balls. 0.99
00:03:35.420 What are they? 0.99
00:03:36.320 G Balls? 0.98
00:03:37.320 Dude, it's a lot of Glennie.
00:03:38.500 It's a lot of Glennie. 0.98
00:03:39.520 I prefer balls. 0.98
00:03:40.680 People call me Mr. Balls. 0.99
00:03:42.360 I like that. 0.97
00:03:43.100 I've got a lot of Glennjaman balls. 0.99
00:03:44.900 It's a very easy word to play on. 0.97
00:03:46.180 Glenn or balls. 0.99
00:03:47.240 But I kind of like balls. 0.99
00:03:48.520 Yeah. 0.98
00:03:49.000 Yeah, I grew up with Glenn, though.
00:03:50.080 So I'm still getting used to Glennie.
00:03:51.460 Really?
00:03:51.880 So Glenn, are you a family name?
00:03:53.720 Are you like a Balls V or something?
00:03:55.260 My dad's name is Glenn, actually.
00:03:57.020 All my dad and his brothers are all Gs.
00:03:59.000 Greg, Gary, and Glenn.
00:04:00.500 So I'm a junior.
00:04:01.500 Oh, wow.
00:04:02.080 So you, and is that like a tradition?
00:04:04.840 What kind of family are you guys?
00:04:06.080 Italian.
00:04:06.680 You guys are Italian?
00:04:07.380 I don't think it's necessarily a tradition, though.
00:04:09.220 Yeah.
00:04:09.500 But I don't know. 1.00
00:04:10.160 Maybe my grandparents just said, fuck it, we're all going to do Gs. 1.00
00:04:13.200 My grandpa's name was Greg, too. 1.00
00:04:14.940 So then my uncle Greg was a junior.
00:04:17.520 It's all Gs.
00:04:18.000 A lot of Gs.
00:04:18.640 Yeah.
00:04:19.040 It's a G thing. 0.96
00:04:20.380 Oh, I like that.
00:04:21.180 Yeah.
00:04:21.360 And I wonder if G is like a power letter or something.
00:04:25.780 What's a good power letter?
00:04:27.540 Like if you had to run in a room and like say there's a fire or something, right?
00:04:32.040 I would say M. 0.75
00:04:34.440 M.
00:04:34.940 Yeah.
00:04:35.680 Something about it right in the middle.
00:04:37.600 Yeah.
00:04:38.460 Don't worry.
00:04:39.760 I'll get us the rest of the way.
00:04:41.280 Something like that. 0.99
00:04:42.040 M kind of, when you get through the alphabet, you're like J, K, L. You're like, shit's getting 0.99
00:04:46.160 weird. 0.97
00:04:46.500 And you're like, M. 0.57
00:04:47.940 Off the top of my head, I'm saying M, like a T. A T feels strong to me. 0.96
00:04:51.720 Yeah.
00:04:51.900 A T feels pretty strong, doesn't it?
00:04:53.000 Yeah.
00:04:53.180 Because it also has that look where like, okay, you can put something on top of me.
00:04:57.460 I got this.
00:04:58.780 M kind of has like four legs almost.
00:05:01.240 You're like, we're going to get there.
00:05:02.720 100%. 0.99
00:05:03.080 B's got the tits, though. 1.00
00:05:04.880 Ooh. 0.99
00:05:05.620 Why? 0.99
00:05:06.020 Because they got, yeah, it looks like two tits, but. 1.00
00:05:07.480 That capital B. 0.98
00:05:07.980 Something about B doesn't do it for me.
00:05:09.520 I feel like I want like a big straight line, like a T on top, or that quite domey thing
00:05:15.720 like the A has. 0.91
00:05:17.620 Yeah.
00:05:18.020 The A is kind of a C. A is like a.
00:05:20.620 I can't lie.
00:05:21.340 I look at G, and I think of G as kind of a beta letter.
00:05:24.480 G, P, Y, U. None of those seem good to me.
00:05:29.760 Y is definitely.
00:05:34.340 Yeah.
00:05:34.660 It almost seemed like at the end of the alphabet, things got very, like, they didn't know what.
00:05:39.840 Things got a little, I don't want to say trans at the end of the alphabet, but it got very, 0.99
00:05:44.220 like, we're doing something.
00:05:45.280 Something's happening. 0.99
00:05:45.900 They just kind of said fucking at the end. 0.99
00:05:47.120 There's five straight consonants. 0.99
00:05:48.280 Yeah.
00:05:48.660 Five consonants.
00:05:49.300 You don't want to see five straight consonants.
00:05:51.380 Yeah, they did, man.
00:05:53.800 What's going on, man?
00:05:54.500 Good to see you, bro.
00:05:55.440 Yeah, I'm excited.
00:05:56.100 I don't think I've seen you in a while.
00:05:57.220 That was the last time I saw you at that Titans game, right?
00:05:59.640 Oh, yeah.
00:06:00.820 Yeah.
00:06:01.460 That was a good time.
00:06:01.960 Dude, yeah, you guys were in the, like, a suite box or something.
00:06:06.080 Yeah, I think it's, like, I guess it's, like, the influencer suite they have there.
00:06:08.980 Yeah, which feels weird to say.
00:06:10.480 Well, they had anybody that was an influencer, too, there, and it was in Tennessee.
00:06:13.940 And so you have anybody that, like, people that, like, you have somebody from Remington,
00:06:17.760 Shotgun, you know, you have very much, like, you know, you have, like, people that deal
00:06:22.080 with 4-H and Anamelia in there.
00:06:24.820 You have, like, country singers.
00:06:27.760 You know, it has more of a southern kind of western gamut they have out there.
00:06:32.420 Yeah, I think that day, like, the VP of Hattie B's was in there.
00:06:35.180 I think Gary Clark Jr. was in there that day.
00:06:37.180 Who's Gary Clark Jr.?
00:06:38.240 He's, like, a blues singer.
00:06:40.020 Oh, really?
00:06:40.680 Yeah, I think Gary Clark Jr. was there.
00:06:42.360 Hmm.
00:06:43.340 I was too intimidated to say hi to him, but I think it was Gary Clark Jr.
00:06:45.660 Oh, I think he was in there.
00:06:47.160 Yeah, he was sitting at the table to the right with his pals.
00:06:50.380 Yes.
00:06:50.840 Yes.
00:06:51.360 Oh, I remember.
00:06:51.840 You were probably wondering who it was, because he has that vibe.
00:06:53.740 Yeah.
00:06:53.900 You're like, that's someone?
00:06:55.320 Yeah.
00:06:55.500 And I finally figured out it was Gary Clark Jr., but he seemed like he didn't want to be bothered,
00:06:58.020 so I didn't go talk to him.
00:06:59.120 Yeah, I couldn't tell if it was, like, maybe, like, Sidney Poitier or if it was maybe Leon Kravitz
00:07:06.900 or whatever, you know?
00:07:07.840 So I didn't know, but I remember meeting him.
00:07:10.740 He's a nice guy.
00:07:11.580 Yeah.
00:07:12.480 What else, man?
00:07:13.400 Oh, I heard you said you guys were talking earlier about when I walked in, you and the
00:07:17.660 producer, Zach, were talking about going to, like, a kitchen or something?
00:07:20.160 Ooh, yeah.
00:07:20.700 So yesterday we were in L.A.
00:07:22.000 We had a free day because, like I said, our shoot was super late last night.
00:07:24.260 We shot at, like, 9, 10 o'clock.
00:07:25.860 Right.
00:07:26.020 And you guys were shooting Sunday Conversations.
00:07:27.560 So for people that don't know, Glennie is the sidekick, the background dancer for Caleb
00:07:34.140 Presley's Sunday Conversation, and he works with Barstool.
00:07:38.780 Yes, sir.
00:07:39.060 Yeah, so I just sit there and eat the ice cream and try to make the guest awkward.
00:07:41.820 Yeah.
00:07:42.140 You've done it.
00:07:42.840 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:43.200 We've had you.
00:07:43.560 We had fun.
00:07:44.440 Yeah, it's good.
00:07:44.920 But, yeah, no, see, yesterday we just had a free day, and I was telling your producer
00:07:47.420 that I just set up a few of the chefs I know here, and they just wanted to take me to
00:07:50.800 lunch, and that's, like, one of my favorite things.
00:07:52.200 I just love hanging out with chefs.
00:07:53.780 I find it so cool as a guy that obviously enjoys food.
00:07:56.320 I enjoy food more than just eating it. 0.99
00:07:57.980 Like, I just, I love the whole idea of culinary shit and food. 0.97
00:08:01.500 So they took me to the Beverly Hills Cheese Shop, went, like, the back room, like, in Goodfellows, 0.97
00:08:05.920 put on some, like, classic Italian music.
00:08:08.000 They just brought us out a bunch of these cheeses imported from Italy.
00:08:11.360 Imported from Italy.
00:08:12.180 Look at, wait, hit the next one.
00:08:13.540 Look at the table.
00:08:14.060 Look at the back room.
00:08:14.660 That was the back room.
00:08:15.440 Oh, so there's a back room there.
00:08:16.560 It was a back room, full experience, brought us out a few pronies, plate of cheese, some 1.00
00:08:22.260 sun-dried tomatoes, some stuffed cherry peppers, like, this low-moisture mozzarella they just
00:08:26.820 made, buffalo mozzarella straight from Italy.
00:08:28.940 They said it lands in LAX every Tuesday, so we kind of got the shitty one.
00:08:32.260 It was a Monday, but it was still great.
00:08:33.940 Yeah, the end of the week.
00:08:34.520 Yeah, we got the end of the week, buffalo mozzarella.
00:08:36.940 But buffalo mozzarella, it's kind of like that one thing.
00:08:39.100 Even when it's bad, it's good.
00:08:40.100 It was fantastic.
00:08:40.580 And were they flying in from Buffalo?
00:08:42.220 No, no, they flying in from Italy.
00:08:44.380 Oh, wow.
00:08:45.040 Because they use buffalo milk in Italy.
00:08:46.280 That's why it's, like, buffalo mozzarella.
00:08:48.500 Oh, and so it's, oh, it's out of the buffalo animal.
00:08:50.800 Yes, sir.
00:08:51.280 Oh, wow.
00:08:51.620 Like, the milk they use is from buffalo milk.
00:08:53.080 So that's like, so if you're getting mozzarella from Italy, it's most of the time buffalo mozzarella,
00:08:57.040 not what you would envision just straight fresh mozzarella is here.
00:08:59.780 Yeah, oh, I thought somebody was milking Dawson Knox up there or something, you know?
00:09:03.280 Don't be a good-looking piece of cheese.
00:09:04.780 It wouldn't be bad, right?
00:09:07.820 So you take, so they, now, how does that even work?
00:09:10.360 So I never, you get hooked up with, like, a lot of backroom.
00:09:14.480 So you go into the backroom, like, who comes out?
00:09:16.780 Is it, like, the top, like, the-
00:09:20.600 The cheesemonger.
00:09:21.800 A monger? 0.98
00:09:22.160 He's a monger.
00:09:22.940 Really?
00:09:23.600 Yeah, so that's what happens.
00:09:24.740 So-
00:09:25.000 And what is a monger?
00:09:25.820 Let's look it up, Zach.
00:09:26.560 I believe it's cheesemonger, because that's only from watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
00:09:30.580 Charlie's dad was a cheesemonger.
00:09:32.100 Because a cheesemonger is somebody that would die for cheese, right?
00:09:34.800 I think this man would die for cheese.
00:09:36.200 This guy, Dom, we were with yesterday, he would definitely die for cheese.
00:09:38.480 He would take one on the cheek for cheese.
00:09:40.720 Yeah, a merchant who specializes in cheeses.
00:09:42.560 Okay.
00:09:44.140 And what's a monger, just overall?
00:09:46.740 Because they have a warmonger I hear of all the time.
00:09:49.120 Yeah, sounds something like Mongolian, maybe.
00:09:51.780 Yeah, what's just a monger?
00:09:53.040 I could say that Genghis Khan being a monger.
00:09:54.980 Like a broker or a dealer of something.
00:09:58.240 Okay.
00:09:58.740 Ooh.
00:09:59.120 Oh, a monger.
00:09:59.800 Yeah, I guess that's why he's a cheesemonger, I guess.
00:10:01.440 He deals cheese.
00:10:02.660 So, okay, so you get there, the guy comes out.
00:10:05.360 Yeah, so great chef Aaron May, we met Aaron May there, and then the guy came out and met
00:10:09.020 Aaron, and then Dom came out and met Aaron, and they just said, let's go in the back.
00:10:12.960 And then they literally brought us in the back like we were in Goodfellas, set up plates,
00:10:17.500 forks, knives, plates for us, brought us out Peronis, brought in these cheese plates,
00:10:21.380 and I had my first anchovy, they brought out apparently this fantastic, fantastic anchovy
00:10:26.720 straight from Italy as well.
00:10:27.840 Was it alive when they brought it out or not?
00:10:29.180 It was not, it was in a can, it was like a little tiny aluminum can, but I equated it
00:10:31.800 to, my first time golf, my first time on a golf course was Pebble Beach, and I told
00:10:35.780 them, I told them yesterday, that's what this was like, because I'm having anchovy imported 0.79
00:10:40.260 from Italy, first anchovy instead of on a shitty pizza. 0.95
00:10:43.560 Yeah. 0.97
00:10:43.720 So the anchovy was damn good, put a little anchovy on bread, a little buffalo mozzarella,
00:10:47.440 some dark tomato on it, and then, oh, they had imported olive oil from Italy, it was, it
00:10:51.980 was, it was an immaculate time.
00:10:54.600 That's some more, right?
00:10:56.100 It was, it was immaculate, dude.
00:10:58.040 Hey, if you're ever in LA and you want to go, we'll go.
00:11:00.320 Yeah, man, I can't.
00:11:01.800 We'll cheese it up.
00:11:02.780 I don't get offered things like that.
00:11:04.260 It must be, because obviously I guess people assume that you have, you enjoy food.
00:11:11.680 I very much do, and not in a, not in a stereotypical fat guy way.
00:11:15.780 Like, I don't, this may shock you, I don't eat, like, I don't eat too much fast food.
00:11:19.660 Right.
00:11:19.940 It's not like I'm going home and pounding Burger King every day, it's just, I appreciate
00:11:23.880 good food.
00:11:25.020 Yeah.
00:11:25.280 Good food is the best.
00:11:27.900 It is good, man.
00:11:28.980 I think I, yeah, I grew up on just really not good food, right?
00:11:32.680 Yeah.
00:11:32.800 So I think there was no appreciation for food.
00:11:35.000 Exactly, the same way, like, I never grew up, like, going to insanely nice steakhouses and whatnot,
00:11:39.620 but even, I mean, there's also bad food that's fantastic as well.
00:11:43.060 I was talking to a coworker of mine last week, Kate, she was saying she grew up always eating
00:11:46.680 the, the very, very thin pork chops that once you cook them, they're like, you could see
00:11:51.340 like the white bubbles of fat pop up on them.
00:11:53.540 Those are pretty damn good.
00:11:54.960 Oh, yeah.
00:11:55.560 I don't mind them.
00:11:56.240 They're good.
00:11:56.380 It is interesting how they have that fat bubble.
00:11:58.520 The fat bubbles, the fat's bubbling, I'm taking it.
00:12:00.700 It's, it's the cheap pork chops, but they do the job.
00:12:04.140 Hmm.
00:12:04.620 Yeah.
00:12:04.840 I'm trying to think of something else that we, oh, you know, what was big when I was
00:12:07.780 young?
00:12:08.760 Uh, fish sticks.
00:12:10.760 Really?
00:12:11.400 You ever do fish sticks?
00:12:12.400 I never did.
00:12:13.400 I never did.
00:12:14.120 Maybe, I don't know if that was maybe a Louisiana thing.
00:12:16.140 There was more fish sticks by you, but I'm also, I also grew up by the water too, but I
00:12:19.720 never dabbled in a fish stick.
00:12:21.340 What is it?
00:12:21.920 I guess theoretically just a.
00:12:23.100 What about a warm clam or something come across the table once in a while?
00:12:26.060 Yeah.
00:12:26.340 Yeah.
00:12:26.900 Never, never home.
00:12:27.760 I don't know if I can.
00:12:28.660 One time I tried to make clams at my house and it was a massive failure.
00:12:31.800 You have to, cause you're, you'll have to wait to make sure if they're alive or not.
00:12:35.580 If they don't, um, if they don't open immediately, they're still alive.
00:12:39.480 So if you have to pry it open, it's dead and you can't eat it.
00:12:41.960 So that, that was troubling to me.
00:12:43.220 And then I tried to cook them on the barbecue.
00:12:44.400 It didn't work out.
00:12:45.120 And how do you know if they're alive?
00:12:46.340 Is it, you do like, you just like whisper in there?
00:12:48.160 Like, how do you even know?
00:12:49.000 I believe what the process was, was you put them in under hot water, you boil, you boil
00:12:53.500 them.
00:12:53.620 And then the ones that crack open are dead.
00:12:56.040 And then that's the ones you eat.
00:12:58.180 Cause I was on, I was on a big clam kick like during COVID during COVID.
00:13:01.280 I tried to just expand my culinary life and it was during COVID.
00:13:04.880 So it was probably three years ago now, but the ones that don't open dead, big dead, they're
00:13:10.280 dead, dead.
00:13:11.000 And you can't pry them open and eat them.
00:13:12.280 Cause that would be in that thing.
00:13:14.000 Oh yeah.
00:13:14.480 And you don't want to, I think there's something like even in the clam culture, you don't, 0.78
00:13:18.480 you don't like after something's buried, you don't go get, you know, you don't get in
00:13:22.540 the coffin with it.
00:13:23.600 Absolutely not.
00:13:24.240 And then we can't cook it.
00:13:25.160 We got to eat raw clams.
00:13:26.500 I wonder if I were to make a baked clam though, if I could have a dead baked clam.
00:13:31.000 I don't, that's a good question.
00:13:32.360 See, that's the problem.
00:13:33.480 Cause then you're cooking it.
00:13:33.660 Cause then they're all closed, right?
00:13:35.140 So you don't know the difference.
00:13:36.200 Well, the baked clam is usually they'll like take the clam, they'll shuck the clams, take
00:13:39.420 the clam out and then put it in, put it on the half shell and then, but like bake it.
00:13:43.140 So it gets cooked.
00:13:43.700 I mean, everything is dead before it gets cooked.
00:13:45.300 Yeah.
00:13:45.620 But raw clam obviously can't eat a dead one, I guess.
00:13:48.280 It always interests me that clams and oysters are living things.
00:13:51.860 Oh, well, someone told me one time that clams are like oysters that got molested when they 0.61
00:13:55.780 were kids and never grew up.
00:13:57.700 Yeah.
00:13:58.340 I could, I could kind of see it.
00:13:59.620 I mean, I, when I do envision clams and oysters, I think of oysters as maybe say the grandfather
00:14:03.300 of shellfish.
00:14:04.340 Yeah.
00:14:04.820 They're definitely the elders.
00:14:05.940 They're the senior citizens. 0.99
00:14:07.200 Oh, they definitely, they have like a newspaper under their arm.
00:14:10.520 Oh yeah.
00:14:11.060 Maybe, maybe a walker.
00:14:12.360 Yeah.
00:14:12.680 Yeah.
00:14:13.000 Trying to just wrangle in a clam to talk, tell them about the old days.
00:14:16.360 Yeah.
00:14:17.480 And then there's the mussels too.
00:14:18.940 I love a good mussel, but those are the big three.
00:14:20.960 It's hard to denote sometimes the difference for me between clams and mussels.
00:14:24.160 Let's look at what is the, what is the purpose of oysters in the ocean, Zach?
00:14:28.100 Let's look it up because we've had recently, we've actually been talking about this on here
00:14:32.840 that oysters are like a, um, I would bet they're pretty vital, honestly.
00:14:37.480 Yeah.
00:14:37.940 Oysters are a crucial component of global ocean health.
00:14:40.620 These animals, oh, they're animals.
00:14:43.000 Filter and clean the surrounding water and provide habitat, food, and jobs.
00:14:47.560 Wow.
00:14:48.480 So they're kind of like a, um, like a temp service or something, maybe I guess.
00:14:53.940 And their reefs could also serve as barriers to storms and thuds.
00:14:56.820 Hmm.
00:14:57.480 That's pretty sick.
00:14:58.880 Wow.
00:14:59.420 So they, they, they got a lot of responsibility.
00:15:01.640 How do they filter?
00:15:03.360 Can you look up how oysters filter in the ocean?
00:15:07.380 Because if they're filters, and this is the crazy part, that if they're filters, oysters
00:15:13.180 clams and other shellfish help remove excess nitrogen from waters by incorporating it into
00:15:17.440 their shells and tissues as they grow.
00:15:20.100 That would make sense.
00:15:20.700 I feel like I've never seen a clean oyster shell.
00:15:22.980 Hmm.
00:15:23.340 That's a good point. 0.99
00:15:24.040 They're all pretty damn dirty. 0.98
00:15:25.200 They're all got a little bit of dirt in there. 0.97
00:15:26.960 They're sacrificing themselves for the ocean apparently, which is interesting.
00:15:30.260 You know, it's been new every day.
00:15:31.180 But that's crazy then.
00:15:32.180 So say you broke into like a trap house, right?
00:15:34.480 Somewhere.
00:15:34.860 Yes, sir.
00:15:35.280 And there's some dude in there, he's dirtied up, right?
00:15:37.800 He's got soil.
00:15:38.740 He even had a little bit of soil around his mouth, right?
00:15:41.400 And then you just put, right?
00:15:43.940 You put horseradish on him.
00:15:46.120 You were dumping horseradish on him?
00:15:47.760 Well, because that's where like an oyster is.
00:15:49.520 Yeah, dude.
00:15:50.260 You're right.
00:15:50.480 No, horseradish would take him out pretty quickly.
00:15:52.700 So horseradish are kind of like-
00:15:53.860 That would be his kryptonite.
00:15:54.980 That would be his kryptonite.
00:15:56.000 But then you eat him.
00:15:57.280 Like that's what you're doing.
00:15:58.020 You're basically, because an oyster is like something like a car filter.
00:16:02.680 Remember your grandfather's car filter?
00:16:03.980 He would turn off the little screw thing.
00:16:06.020 He'd open it.
00:16:06.460 He'd pull that filter out.
00:16:07.540 Yes, sir.
00:16:08.200 So that's kind of what we're eating.
00:16:10.800 Dude, I would eat anything with horseradish on it.
00:16:12.600 Honestly, I don't care. 0.81
00:16:13.720 Horseradish is damn good. 0.93
00:16:15.380 It is good. 0.87
00:16:16.420 Horseradish is good.
00:16:17.000 A little cocktail sauce on it as well.
00:16:18.960 Oh, yeah.
00:16:19.620 Yeah, you're right.
00:16:20.300 Who am I?
00:16:20.620 You know what I'm saying?
00:16:21.180 What am I?
00:16:21.840 I don't want to ruin that for anybody.
00:16:23.220 So you guys, so take me through this first anchovy.
00:16:27.700 It's right there.
00:16:28.220 It's by itself.
00:16:29.000 He brings out a canister of them.
00:16:30.420 How many is in there?
00:16:31.360 He brings out a canister.
00:16:32.500 There was about six of us there.
00:16:33.760 I would say we each got to try one, maybe two extra.
00:16:35.980 So I'm going to go with there was about eight in the canister.
00:16:37.940 There was a little tiny oval thing like this.
00:16:40.060 And like I said, I was lucky enough to be there with Christian Petroni and Aaron May,
00:16:43.000 two world-class chefs.
00:16:44.720 So Aaron said, you got to try your first oyster.
00:16:46.740 I said, pal, you're making it for me.
00:16:48.680 So I got this wonderful chef making it for me.
00:16:52.200 We had this great bread that I think they said this exclusive elderly lady down the street
00:16:56.980 baked for them every day, had the bread.
00:16:59.560 Yeah, that really does look gross.
00:17:01.060 The envisioning of the anchovy just by itself.
00:17:03.760 That really does not look good.
00:17:04.840 And that's the buffalo mozzarella on the plate there as well.
00:17:07.360 But a little bread, buffalo mozzarella, anchovy, sun-dried tomato.
00:17:10.780 He made it for me, squished it all down, a dollop of olive oil on top.
00:17:14.820 It was a delightful bite.
00:17:16.280 A little salty, a little salty, very salty, but still, I'm very happy I tried it.
00:17:21.020 Those, the anchove are very salty, right?
00:17:25.060 Extremely.
00:17:25.760 From what I know, I mean, I'm an anchovy virgin.
00:17:28.060 I just lost my virginity 24 hours ago. 1.00
00:17:29.680 Damn. 0.99
00:17:30.680 And they, now why is it, I notice when you say like mozzarella, and I've noticed when people 0.99
00:17:36.280 say salam, they don't, when they go back to Italy, they take off one, like we added a
00:17:43.780 letter.
00:17:44.480 Yeah, so I think, I think they did it and we took the letter off from, from my knowledge.
00:17:49.580 I believe that the thing is when the Italians like came over to America, their broken dialect 1.00
00:17:54.920 cut off a, cut off a, the vowel at the end.
00:17:59.940 And so let's say, I only really say mozzarella, but like mozzarella, say mozzarella, prosciutto,
00:18:05.540 they say prosciutto, capicola, they say gabagool.
00:18:08.900 No.
00:18:09.520 Yeah.
00:18:10.020 The gabagool goes a little overboard.
00:18:11.680 Yeah, it's a little.
00:18:12.420 Like I can't, I can't go to an Italian deli with a straight face, but be like, let me get
00:18:15.020 the gabagool.
00:18:15.800 I can't do that with a straight face, but I can say, oh, I'll have the mozzarella, but
00:18:18.800 that's pretty much it.
00:18:19.500 Yes.
00:18:19.940 Prosciutto, gabagool, regatta, people say regat.
00:18:23.140 Nuh-uh.
00:18:23.580 Yeah.
00:18:24.620 Wow.
00:18:25.420 Like parents say that, like grandparents in New York, et cetera, et cetera.
00:18:28.600 But I only really say mozzarella.
00:18:29.940 In my normal day.
00:18:30.840 Ooh, um, calamari, they say galamad.
00:18:34.100 No way.
00:18:34.840 Yeah.
00:18:35.040 But I can't go into a deli with a straight face and, well, let me get a, I'd be like,
00:18:38.400 let me get a hero with prosciutto and gabagool on it.
00:18:41.260 But mozzarella, I say.
00:18:42.260 Or some vajun.
00:18:44.360 Sounds great.
00:18:45.000 Throw it on there.
00:18:45.580 I'm not going to say no to that one.
00:18:46.740 I mean, I just wonder like what other, cause yeah, I guess it makes it sound fancier because
00:18:51.940 you're almost saying I'm going to be the last letter.
00:18:56.100 Sure.
00:18:56.540 Yeah.
00:18:56.840 It's like, I don't need to just put the letter on there.
00:18:58.960 I'm going to show you in my ambiance or my ming, ming, ming, ming.
00:19:04.800 And at the end of the day, there's a lot more fun to say.
00:19:06.920 Yeah.
00:19:07.420 There are a lot more fun to say.
00:19:08.680 Rick, ricotta, that.
00:19:10.820 Ricotta.
00:19:11.660 Ricotta.
00:19:12.300 Ricotta.
00:19:12.940 What's more fun?
00:19:13.580 What's more fun?
00:19:13.860 Sitting there saying ricotta or saying rigott?
00:19:16.300 Rigott.
00:19:17.040 Exactly.
00:19:17.600 Yeah, it does.
00:19:18.680 But it's interesting letters, huh?
00:19:20.820 Yeah.
00:19:21.000 A lot of vowels.
00:19:21.740 We got a lot of vowels.
00:19:23.040 The Italians? 0.99
00:19:23.960 Yeah.
00:19:24.560 Everything ends in a vowel.
00:19:27.000 Mostly O's, A's. 1.00
00:19:28.120 All my friend group.
00:19:28.800 I think there's 11 of us.
00:19:30.120 Probably nine of us have vowel endings.
00:19:33.400 And are your parents like fresh off the...
00:19:36.760 No, we're pretty Americanized Italian.
00:19:39.020 I don't even know.
00:19:40.500 I don't even know what generation in my family even came from Italy, honestly.
00:19:45.520 But we're pretty Americanized Italian.
00:19:47.540 About Americanized as Italian as it comes. 0.94
00:19:50.000 But we're all Long Island still, so everyone...
00:19:51.520 It's really only Italian or Irish.
00:19:53.700 That's pretty much it.
00:19:54.240 Is it?
00:19:54.860 Yeah.
00:19:55.360 I like that.
00:19:56.080 The North Shore is very...
00:19:57.760 There's a lot of Jewish folks up there.
00:19:59.280 And then the South Shore where I'm from, it's literally just like Italian and Irish.
00:20:02.800 Yeah.
00:20:04.880 Do they have...
00:20:06.680 So that's where you grew up at?
00:20:09.380 I was born originally in Corona, Queens.
00:20:11.840 That's where my parents are from.
00:20:13.080 And then we moved to Malvern, Long Island when I was probably, I don't know, four or five
00:20:18.480 in that realm.
00:20:19.440 So I grew up on Long Island.
00:20:20.260 I always say where you grow up is where you went to high school.
00:20:22.500 I think that's a fair assumption.
00:20:24.420 I feel like that's your formative years.
00:20:25.820 Where you went to high school?
00:20:26.780 Yeah.
00:20:27.220 Where you went to high school is where you're from.
00:20:28.820 Now, in Italian culture, if a woman is like kind of... 1.00
00:20:32.040 Do you describe women also as like... 1.00
00:20:36.040 Relate them to like pastas or something, I was thinking maybe?
00:20:40.840 Like this girl's a real vermicelli. 0.76
00:20:42.460 This girl's a real farfalle? 0.99
00:20:43.840 Yeah.
00:20:44.340 No, but we could.
00:20:45.600 I mean, there's a lot of great pastas.
00:20:46.920 There's pappardelle.
00:20:48.160 There's rigatoni.
00:20:50.080 I've never equated women to a pasta though.
00:20:52.140 Vermicelli's very like, it's almost like she's a little thin.
00:20:55.760 Yeah.
00:20:56.060 You go linguine there too as well.
00:20:57.820 Is linguine even thinner?
00:20:59.120 Linguine is pretty damn thin.
00:21:00.780 It's like a very, very thin spaghetti.
00:21:03.740 Vermicelli has to be thinner.
00:21:05.140 Vermicelli...
00:21:05.500 Can you look up vermicelli?
00:21:06.700 I don't know.
00:21:07.140 I want to look at, make sure I know exactly what we're talking about.
00:21:09.140 Dude, if I'm eating vermicelli, it's almost like I want to make sure its parents aren't
00:21:12.580 home.
00:21:12.960 You know what I'm saying?
00:21:13.200 It feels very...
00:21:15.200 Vermicelli.
00:21:16.360 I mean, sorry.
00:21:17.180 That is...
00:21:18.100 Vermicelli's definitely thinner.
00:21:19.740 Than linguine?
00:21:21.860 Yeah.
00:21:22.100 Okay.
00:21:22.300 So there's vermicelli.
00:21:23.400 Okay.
00:21:23.600 We're just looking at images here.
00:21:25.000 Can we get any...
00:21:25.740 Do they have a chart somewhere?
00:21:27.240 Look at that nest of vermicelli.
00:21:28.600 Let's get a pasta chart up here. 0.99
00:21:30.180 Yeah.
00:21:30.800 My personal favorite's pappardelle, I think.
00:21:32.580 I'm a pappardelle guy.
00:21:33.840 See, I'm not even familiar with it.
00:21:37.460 Ooh, there we go.
00:21:39.020 Yeah, I like the farfalle.
00:21:40.020 That's really good.
00:21:40.800 There's a good, great sausage dish by me that there's a sausage farfalle.
00:21:44.900 So I'm impartial at, but any penne is classic.
00:21:48.660 If I could date one queen, though, maybe go with the fusilli.
00:21:53.360 Ooh.
00:21:54.180 The fusilli.
00:21:55.180 The fusilli.
00:21:55.760 You don't know what you're getting, dude.
00:21:56.900 And where is that one?
00:21:57.960 It's like right there.
00:21:58.980 Oh, in the middle, in the top.
00:22:00.100 It's like spirally looking.
00:22:01.400 It's like playing a mystery game.
00:22:02.660 Oh, yeah.
00:22:03.240 That one definitely, you could see it having some bipolar issues.
00:22:07.040 Let's go down a little bit.
00:22:08.240 I want to see what else is on here.
00:22:10.280 Ooh, that rigatone.
00:22:12.040 Like the rigatoni?
00:22:13.020 Mm-hmm.
00:22:14.360 I would say that's the classic.
00:22:15.600 That's like just blonde, blue eyes. 1.00
00:22:18.100 Nothing better than that.
00:22:18.840 It's an all-American classic.
00:22:19.960 The rigatone, yeah.
00:22:21.000 The rigatone.
00:22:21.980 And what if you get that thick Asian girl? 1.00
00:22:23.780 What's that one, that pad thai? 0.98
00:22:25.200 Or what's the one that has like those egg noodles?
00:22:27.700 Okay.
00:22:28.420 What are the actual noodles on that?
00:22:29.920 Yeah.
00:22:30.180 I think it might be just egg noodles.
00:22:31.700 Yeah.
00:22:31.980 Because I don't think, well, I don't think they could, I mean, they're kind of technically
00:22:34.180 the same.
00:22:34.500 I mean, I had ramen for the first time last week.
00:22:36.180 I don't know what the.
00:22:36.880 Really?
00:22:37.360 Yeah.
00:22:38.220 I just dove into it.
00:22:39.280 A new place opened by my house. 1.00
00:22:40.500 So I just said, fuck it. 1.00
00:22:41.260 Let's try it. 1.00
00:22:41.860 And did you go alone?
00:22:42.840 I went with my cousin and my dad.
00:22:45.040 Okay.
00:22:45.440 So you guys go to fame.
00:22:46.220 So is going to eat like at a new place, is that a family thing for you guys?
00:22:50.300 No.
00:22:50.680 Honestly, we were at Easter and I was having a few beverages and I told my little cousin
00:22:54.060 that I want to go to the ramen place.
00:22:56.600 He said, I want to go too.
00:22:58.300 So I said, you know what? 1.00
00:22:59.320 Fuck it. 1.00
00:22:59.660 I'll take the guy. 1.00
00:23:00.460 Yeah.
00:23:00.640 I had a nice meal.
00:23:01.840 It was fine.
00:23:02.320 It was good for Monday night.
00:23:03.200 I'll take a Monday night meal.
00:23:04.420 I didn't have to cut up the Monday nights.
00:23:05.980 I'll happily go.
00:23:06.520 I'll go to the movies.
00:23:07.420 I mean, golf.
00:23:08.100 Yeah.
00:23:08.720 Because I have down to sit in my bed and watch YouTube all night.
00:23:11.040 And that's the point of that.
00:23:11.900 It's not fun.
00:23:12.380 And you just sit there and wait for enough time to pass to then go to sleep.
00:23:15.860 So Monday nights thing.
00:23:17.580 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays.
00:23:19.140 Yeah.
00:23:19.520 I guess there is something about it maybe that's like you're waiting for the fun to happen.
00:23:25.720 Well, most people are also working.
00:23:26.820 You got to get some work.
00:23:27.900 Those are kind of work days.
00:23:29.360 Yeah.
00:23:29.720 You know?
00:23:30.280 Like we're on a Tuesday right now.
00:23:32.100 100%.
00:23:32.500 So it's like we're able to get this done.
00:23:34.280 Fridays sometimes are tougher to fit things in.
00:23:36.500 You feel like the week is like, you kind of feel like the weekend's just about to get
00:23:40.820 its period.
00:23:41.420 I feel like it's just like everything is just about to come crashing down.
00:23:45.300 I'm just a fan of the weekend, dude.
00:23:46.620 You're right.
00:23:47.100 I mean, basically Monday to Wednesday, I just sit around and do nothing.
00:23:50.100 At night, I'm just sitting around and doing nothing.
00:23:51.920 Yeah.
00:23:52.520 Just waiting for the party.
00:23:53.460 Waiting for maybe even Thursday.
00:23:55.180 Thursday, I'd like to do a nice dinner.
00:23:56.220 Me and my friends have been doing dinner Thursdays, which is quite nice.
00:23:58.940 Because now I'm old.
00:23:59.740 I'm older.
00:24:00.520 I appreciate it.
00:24:01.180 Like I said, just a good meal.
00:24:02.140 Good meal with pals is fine to me.
00:24:03.700 It's like I like Thursday kick off the weekend.
00:24:05.260 Kind of brings me back to high school.
00:24:06.380 We used to go to Applebee's every Thursday night.
00:24:08.600 A couple half apps.
00:24:10.200 Yeah.
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00:27:25.300 Dude, there was something nice about trying to make love to somebody that worked at the
00:27:28.860 Applebee's, wasn't there?
00:27:30.260 I never tried.
00:27:31.260 We never had any.
00:27:32.980 We had a lot of waiters, not waitresses. 0.96
00:27:35.160 But I could totally see it.
00:27:36.660 Applebee's is a cool spot.
00:27:37.600 It's a cool hookup spot for the olds.
00:27:39.160 Yeah.
00:27:39.320 I saw one time I saw a mom I grew up with out there on a date one night.
00:27:42.960 Tried to not make eye contact with her.
00:27:44.980 I didn't make eye contact with her, thank God.
00:27:46.380 But Applebee's, I'm sure they have nice deals, frankly.
00:27:51.400 Yeah, well, I think Applebee's has kind of been, you know, in a lot of places, Applebee's
00:27:57.500 is that first place you get to go, you know?
00:28:00.200 It's like the first, for some places, it's the first restaurant, you know?
00:28:04.220 Like where I'm from, like my niece, I was talking to her yesterday, and she's like,
00:28:08.780 you know, my favorite restaurant is Jimmy John's.
00:28:10.780 And I was like, well, that's not really a restaurant, but it is a restaurant, depending
00:28:15.020 on where you're at.
00:28:15.900 A hundred percent.
00:28:16.660 I've learned that recently since we started Sunday Conversation in the last few years.
00:28:19.560 I've just been traveling so much.
00:28:20.600 And that's like one of the first things I tell my friends when we're talking about kind
00:28:24.000 of just even the middle of America or anywhere, really, that's not a massive city.
00:28:28.360 Like if you're a kid in Indiana, your deli's Jimmy John's.
00:28:32.300 Yeah.
00:28:32.460 Your pizza is Papa John's, which is crazy for my brain to think about, but that's just
00:28:38.280 how it is.
00:28:38.700 And I never realized that.
00:28:39.860 Yeah.
00:28:40.060 And I thought, I mean, not this thing's wrong with Jimmy John's.
00:28:42.040 I love Jimmy John's.
00:28:42.920 I'm a massive fan of Jimmy John's.
00:28:44.760 I don't know how they do it so fast.
00:28:45.880 And the bread is so good with the oil.
00:28:47.340 But yeah, like any random person growing up, I guess their deli technically is Jimmy John's.
00:28:53.020 Yeah.
00:28:53.720 Yeah.
00:28:54.000 It's interesting.
00:28:54.580 That's kind of how you learn about even anything, seeing things like a mozzarella cheese or
00:28:58.540 something like a, like some people, it's like, you know, they'll have like a, one of those
00:29:05.640 like Italian restaurants and they put a new like pasta and that's how you learn about
00:29:11.480 the pasta.
00:29:12.020 And I love seeing, I love seeing Italian restaurants wherever, when any random place here, I would
00:29:15.960 say we're in Texas, nine out of 10 names are literally just Paisanos.
00:29:19.980 Those are just the names of all of them.
00:29:21.760 It's crazy.
00:29:22.160 I mean, I don't even know if there's ever been a ball of fresh mozzarella in Topeka, Kansas.
00:29:25.600 Has there been?
00:29:26.360 I have no idea.
00:29:27.500 Maybe you're in prohibition or something.
00:29:29.420 Oh yeah.
00:29:30.300 When they were just, when people were running out of alcohol and they were trying to suffice
00:29:33.000 them with other stuff, you know, there were things to be sufficed by.
00:29:35.640 Yeah.
00:29:36.120 God, I guess it is pretty good.
00:29:37.460 I'm trying to think if I know about a lot of different cheeses or not.
00:29:40.800 I didn't until yesterday.
00:29:42.680 I don't.
00:29:43.580 I'm not, I'm not a massive, massive cheese person though.
00:29:45.620 It doesn't, it doesn't rev my engine.
00:29:47.300 Really?
00:29:47.920 Not really.
00:29:48.820 You just went into a back room and with a bunch of men you didn't know to get it.
00:29:51.920 And well, Hey, I was told to go there.
00:29:53.920 I said, these chefs are taking me to lunch.
00:29:55.400 I'm letting them rock.
00:29:56.360 That would, I'm letting them go.
00:29:57.620 That would, I mean, that would be like, right.
00:30:00.340 That would be like going to play basketball with Michael Jordan and me picking the teams.
00:30:03.900 Okay.
00:30:04.240 Yeah.
00:30:04.680 So I was said, I'm letting you guys rock.
00:30:05.980 And Hey, it was great.
00:30:06.640 The cheese was great.
00:30:07.780 I mean, I also counter said that as I would say a bite of good fresh mozzarella is up there
00:30:11.560 for one of my favorite bites I've had just in life in general.
00:30:14.180 But outside of that, cheese doesn't, doesn't absurdly do it for me.
00:30:17.300 Yeah.
00:30:17.900 Yeah.
00:30:18.340 Now, a lot of people are wanting to know, and I'm still wanting to know.
00:30:20.640 So you had six anchovies in the can.
00:30:22.540 How there was, it was eight anchovies.
00:30:24.000 There were six of you guys.
00:30:24.980 What do you do with those last two?
00:30:26.800 I don't know who took the other last one, but one of the chefs did say, I should take
00:30:30.380 the last one because it was, would only be my second anchovy of all time.
00:30:33.200 So I had two of the anchovies.
00:30:34.260 So I guess that was an anchovy glutton, but I enjoyed them.
00:30:36.920 Did you change the way you ate it the second time?
00:30:39.100 Um, no, same way I said, cause once again, the chef, I may told me have this anchovy.
00:30:46.300 I said, dude, only if you chef it up for me again, if he's there, I want them to be the
00:30:50.540 chefs, you know?
00:30:50.960 Oh yeah.
00:30:51.920 I want them to be the guides, the spiritual guides.
00:30:55.520 There's something kind of, there's something, I don't want to say erotic, but there is something
00:30:59.400 very sensual about getting a good food.
00:31:03.680 Cause you're putting it on your tongue, you know, people don't realize that a lot.
00:31:07.160 A lot of times people are just like, I'm putting something in my mouth, you know, I'm having
00:31:10.880 this, I'm getting it, I'm inhaling, I'm bringing it into me.
00:31:14.180 But that tongue is right there too. 0.91
00:31:16.360 The tongue is very sexual.
00:31:17.520 And hey, there's a lot of aphrodisiacs out there as well.
00:31:19.600 Yeah.
00:31:19.920 Oysters. 0.99
00:31:20.700 Oysters is big aphrodisiac.
00:31:22.120 Which is crazy because they collect junk out of the ocean, but it said they bring in nitrogen.
00:31:27.840 Is nitrogen aphrodisiac?
00:31:31.060 I'm not totally sure what the rest of the aphrodisiacs are.
00:31:34.300 I know Valentine's day.
00:31:36.020 What else?
00:31:36.480 Ooh, Valentine's day is a good one.
00:31:38.880 Is nitrogen a aphrodisiac?
00:31:40.800 Let me see. 0.98
00:31:44.940 Ooh, traditional plant aphrodisiacs and male sexual dysfunction. 0.99
00:31:49.960 Ooh. 0.97
00:31:50.340 That sounds like the opposite.
00:31:51.340 It's the opposite day.
00:31:52.220 I've looked at it before, I'm sure.
00:31:53.960 Chocolate, definitely.
00:31:55.920 Figs, oysters, spicy chili peppers.
00:31:59.100 Strawberries.
00:32:00.700 Can you put, why is oysters an aphrodisiac?
00:32:03.820 The bivalves, what does it say, Zach?
00:32:12.920 Uh, the bivalves do contain zinc, which has been found to be an essential nutrient for
00:32:19.220 testosterone production in spermatogenesis, I assume. 0.99
00:32:24.880 Dude, this could be really dumb. 0.93
00:32:25.820 Isn't zinc what we make coins out of? 0.99
00:32:28.520 Yeah. 1.00
00:32:28.880 So you could suck on a damn nickel, boy, and get hard, probably. 1.00
00:32:33.320 Why not, dude? 1.00
00:32:34.200 Oh, especially if you're poor, dude.
00:32:35.480 Nothing gets you harder than a good nickel.
00:32:37.040 Imagine a quarter.
00:32:38.100 Ugh.
00:32:38.840 Imagine a silver dollar.
00:32:39.820 Can't stop.
00:32:40.280 Imagine a silver dollar.
00:32:41.400 Bro, can't stop.
00:32:42.200 I've been doing all that for a month.
00:32:43.500 Oh, I'm a peeping tongue, bro.
00:32:44.680 I put a silver dollar on my tongue, I'm a peeping tongue.
00:32:47.080 George Washington, no one hit him.
00:32:48.660 Didn't know it hit him.
00:32:50.860 So tell me how, so you grew up kind of in this Italian environment, and is it just you?
00:32:54.840 Is there other women in the household? 1.00
00:32:56.280 Is there other children?
00:32:57.360 I'm actually an only child.
00:32:58.440 No way.
00:32:59.120 Yeah.
00:33:00.120 Yep.
00:33:00.740 And why did your parents stop with just you, you think?
00:33:02.960 I don't really know.
00:33:03.640 I'm sure you were a handsome child, huh?
00:33:06.120 No, probably not.
00:33:07.480 Really?
00:33:07.640 I was a skinny child until I always say I got cocksacky, and then that kind of thing.
00:33:12.200 And it threw me off the rail.
00:33:13.180 I couldn't eat for a few weeks.
00:33:14.320 Oh, you got a disease?
00:33:15.840 Cocksacky is like a few-week disease, but I couldn't eat for like two months.
00:33:18.460 And I just said I had to make up for lost time, and I've just been making up for lost
00:33:20.800 time since, you know?
00:33:21.900 Because I do have like photos of me when I was, say, seven years old, and I was a skinny
00:33:25.740 little, I was a skinny guy.
00:33:26.880 Really?
00:33:27.340 Yeah.
00:33:27.980 And when you look at those photos, do you think, because some people look at weight as
00:33:32.140 like an uncommon, I mean, how do you look at weight?
00:33:35.540 What am I talking about?
00:33:36.480 How do I look?
00:33:37.000 I don't really know.
00:33:38.100 I think it's more, I mean, I don't want to say it's a mindset.
00:33:40.220 It's obviously not a mindset.
00:33:41.020 But like, I'm pretty, pretty happy with my, with my weight, per se.
00:33:45.080 There was a time in my life where I was shockingly way bigger than I was now.
00:33:48.700 Like, I think maybe like 50, 60 pounds bigger. 0.98
00:33:52.020 And then I was like, and I was like, fuck, dude, I'm a, I'm a large gentleman. 0.98
00:33:56.020 I got to, I should probably stop this. 0.99
00:33:57.940 Because I was like, I mean, it was just, I was eating a shitload of this.
00:34:00.360 I was eating some, there's no reason to have a chicken cutlet with bacon sandwich for
00:34:04.320 lunch every day.
00:34:05.000 There's just no need for it.
00:34:05.920 Not every day.
00:34:06.560 So then I cut that off and then I cut that off and I lost probably 20 pounds and then
00:34:11.800 COVID hit.
00:34:12.480 And then I just stayed home and just like drank every night and ate grilled chicken every day
00:34:16.520 and lost weight then.
00:34:18.480 So now I'm like sitting out of steady, like 290, 295 right now.
00:34:21.920 You really weigh that much?
00:34:23.500 Yeah.
00:34:23.800 Yeah.
00:34:24.240 You don't look that big.
00:34:25.360 Really?
00:34:25.740 Yeah.
00:34:27.060 I'm going to play this clip whenever I walk on an airplane.
00:34:28.580 Cause I always feel bad walking on an airplane.
00:34:30.120 Do you?
00:34:30.660 Yeah, dude.
00:34:31.280 You have no idea how much airplane stress I always have.
00:34:34.160 So take me through that airplane stress.
00:34:35.960 So you're, cause yeah, you know, once you get to the airport, you know that you're big.
00:34:40.000 Yeah.
00:34:40.200 I know, I know quite literally everybody on this plane is looking at me saying, please
00:34:44.340 don't sit here.
00:34:45.260 That's why it's nice though, because now I'm a Delta Diamond guy.
00:34:47.880 No big deal.
00:34:48.760 I get to order, I get to board the flight first.
00:34:52.680 Yes.
00:34:52.920 So at least I get that out of the way, but I mean, there was one time me, Kate, me, Caleb
00:34:57.100 and our, and our girl Kelsey were traveling to Lake Tahoe from LA.
00:35:00.960 So it was a quick flight, but our flight got canceled the night before.
00:35:03.320 So we had to get on a Southwest flight last minute and we got like the 54th opening on
00:35:08.080 Southwest.
00:35:08.860 How there's his first come first serve.
00:35:10.780 So we were the last people to sit down and I was walking down the aisle and literally
00:35:15.220 I felt like Forrest Gump getting on the bus knowing nobody wants you to sit there.
00:35:18.640 There were only middle seats left.
00:35:19.860 Then thank God wrote say 23.
00:35:22.120 I saw like a 12 year old kid by the window. 1.00
00:35:23.820 I said, you're mine motherfucker. 1.00
00:35:26.000 Just sat right next to him. 1.00
00:35:27.120 We took out, but we, we, Hey, we, we became friends.
00:35:28.780 His name was Terry.
00:35:29.360 He was a great kid.
00:35:30.000 He was like 13.
00:35:31.080 We bonded the whole flight.
00:35:32.260 He was saying he was going to visit his grandparents in Reno.
00:35:34.640 And we, uh, we had a great time.
00:35:36.120 We played baseball on his iPad together.
00:35:38.040 He was great.
00:35:38.700 But he said he saved my day because I was quite literally shitting bricks knowing every
00:35:42.840 single person on this plane is telling themselves, please don't sit here.
00:35:46.300 Please don't sit here.
00:35:47.120 Please don't sit here. 0.67
00:35:47.960 It's a shitty feeling. 0.81
00:35:48.860 That'll make you want to lose a little weight. 1.00
00:35:50.100 It's like that Plinko game kind of where you're like, but you don't want it to get
00:35:54.000 in the, you don't want it to land.
00:35:55.300 The Southwest was quite literally like, it was a scary experience because there were only
00:35:58.800 middle seats left.
00:36:00.060 There were only middle seats left.
00:36:01.520 And then there was maybe, maybe the idea that there was an aisle seat all the way in the
00:36:05.560 back.
00:36:05.800 But should I have risked that instead of sitting next to the 12 year old?
00:36:09.120 I went with the 12 year old.
00:36:10.220 Yeah.
00:36:10.480 You got to make that.
00:36:11.020 I went with the 12 year old.
00:36:12.020 And is it amazing that at that point you go to the warmth of children?
00:36:15.480 You go to the kindness of a young child who has yet to determine in his head, hey, I
00:36:21.100 don't like, I don't want to sit next to this fat guy to the, to the fix.
00:36:24.100 Yes.
00:36:24.620 It was, well, it was, it was not that Terry was a great kid, but it was also just, uh,
00:36:28.400 he's small.
00:36:29.260 He's a small guy.
00:36:30.280 Okay.
00:36:30.560 So he's a very small kid.
00:36:31.800 So you guys put matching up together.
00:36:34.280 Yeah.
00:36:34.600 It almost made sense.
00:36:35.540 It's a beautiful relief whenever someone ever big skitties, it's next to you.
00:36:39.000 It was like a mice and meat.
00:36:40.520 Yes.
00:36:41.100 That's a perfect example.
00:36:42.080 I mean, Terry, we bonded.
00:36:43.020 We had a great time.
00:36:43.820 Wow.
00:36:44.280 Yeah.
00:36:44.460 It was really nice, but it's always great.
00:36:45.920 Like sometimes when you sit next to a toddler, you get lucky for a toddler sitting next to
00:36:49.400 you on a plane.
00:36:49.860 That's always convenient.
00:36:51.020 At work, we have a, we have a shorter gentleman.
00:36:54.240 I like to sit next to him if we travel together.
00:36:56.460 I've seen him.
00:36:57.100 You guys did the, uh.
00:36:57.780 Yeah.
00:36:58.040 Yeah.
00:36:58.360 We did our first Morgan Wallen Sunday Conversation.
00:37:01.560 He took my place.
00:37:02.740 Oh, you might've seen him in that.
00:37:03.960 Yeah.
00:37:04.480 You put the brother and he snuck in the brother on Wallen.
00:37:06.820 Yeah.
00:37:07.080 Well, what happened was, uh, well, what happened was we, uh, we originally, when we first started
00:37:10.440 Sunday Conversation, we were doing two Roan, you know who Roan is?
00:37:13.800 Roan was also doing them as well.
00:37:15.220 So I went, I was, I was pissed because at the time I'm still a massive fan, but I always
00:37:19.240 loved Darius Rucker.
00:37:20.340 And that was the day they were doing a, like a four place scramble, like with Wallen, Hardy,
00:37:24.260 Darius, and Jake Owen.
00:37:26.420 And then we had, me and Roan had a shoot with Doug Flutie in Melbourne, Florida.
00:37:31.300 And they said, you're going to, you're going to Doug Flutie, Zaz going to, uh, Troubadour
00:37:36.020 to do the, um, shoot with Wallen. 0.99
00:37:38.120 And I said, fucking Zaz about to hang out all day with Darius, man. 0.98
00:37:41.320 And I'm sitting here with Doug Flutie in a conference room in a Marriott in Melbourne 0.99
00:37:44.280 Beach, Florida. 0.97
00:37:45.260 That sucked. 0.97
00:37:45.960 I was disappointed about that. 0.55
00:37:46.860 And luckily two years later, we did Darius on Sunday Conversation and that was great.
00:37:50.660 But at the time it's stung, it's stung.
00:37:53.740 When the, yeah, when the boss says, the boss says.
00:37:55.780 Yeah.
00:37:56.560 Um, so you're growing up there only child, right?
00:37:59.320 And what kind of work are you in when you're doing, are you a funny guy?
00:38:03.820 What kind of kid are you?
00:38:04.860 And you're a thicker kid.
00:38:05.840 You said you went through the disease, you got out of it, you got, you got to start you
00:38:09.920 and you started thickening it up.
00:38:11.800 Yeah, we thicked up.
00:38:12.620 We thicked up pretty good.
00:38:13.320 Did the whole family, because sometimes there's kind of like a thing where a whole family will
00:38:17.140 put on weight at the same time.
00:38:18.340 Like something happens, a grandmother dies or there's a, like a, not a power outage,
00:38:23.820 but like a, um, you know, like a nuclear disaster or something, you know?
00:38:28.440 No, I would say, I would not say so, but we're definitely a larger family.
00:38:31.340 I would say half, half thicks, half non-thicks.
00:38:34.040 Okay.
00:38:34.860 But in, in like the, not the immediate family, like my aunts and uncles and whatnot, but growing
00:38:38.400 up, yeah, I would just say, I would say a fun guy.
00:38:40.740 I don't think, I don't think absurdly funny, but fun.
00:38:43.260 I'll be always hung out with the, with the, with the good guys.
00:38:45.660 I'm still best friends with all my friends growing up.
00:38:48.240 So yeah, I think, I think relatively normal childhood, Catholic high school, Catholic
00:38:51.780 high school and grade school.
00:38:52.940 That was interesting.
00:38:53.580 Oh wow.
00:38:54.100 Cause that's all boys in there, huh?
00:38:55.460 Oh no, we, we had co-ed there.
00:38:57.060 Our rival college high school was, um, all dudes, but we were co-ed.
00:39:02.120 They must've been so jealousy.
00:39:03.920 You guys.
00:39:04.240 Yeah, dude.
00:39:04.740 The thing too with them is there was, so there were three high schools in the area, Catholic
00:39:07.900 high schools.
00:39:08.800 Sacred Heart was all girls. 0.83
00:39:10.400 Chaminade was all boys.
00:39:11.420 And then Kellenberg where I went was co-ed.
00:39:13.120 And so they all had Sacred Heart, I think had Cotillion and Chaminade had Aquaprom.
00:39:18.460 So then we always had to watch our, our few Sacred Heart and Chaminade friends try to
00:39:21.620 match up.
00:39:22.580 So they all had to get each other from a distance and we actually had no prom at Kellenberg.
00:39:26.560 Yeah.
00:39:26.980 Our prom got canceled for, um, flaunting of affluence.
00:39:30.420 And what?
00:39:30.820 People being wealthy?
00:39:31.800 Yeah.
00:39:32.300 Definitely not me, but like other people, I got canceled in 2006, our prom did.
00:39:36.260 So I never had a prom. 0.99
00:39:37.100 Damn. 0.99
00:39:37.500 Yeah. 0.99
00:39:37.660 That was, that was a whole big thing.
00:39:38.980 Colbert talked about it on Colbert Report.
00:39:40.780 Your prom got canceled.
00:39:42.180 What happened?
00:39:42.520 Your prom got canceled.
00:39:43.600 Yeah.
00:39:43.860 Well, I don't do a fake prom somewhere. 0.99
00:39:45.400 So our fucking prom, our, I guess our kind of prom, we did a boat ride around Manhattan, 0.99
00:39:50.060 which pretty fun. 0.99
00:39:51.780 It was fun.
00:39:52.540 But Hey, let me tell you, as, as a larger gentleman that did not have sex in high school,
00:39:56.760 it took a lot of stress away from having to find a prom date.
00:39:59.620 Oh wow.
00:40:00.360 What a relief, huh?
00:40:01.740 It was like sitting next to, to a toddler on a plane.
00:40:03.760 Seriously.
00:40:04.180 It was quite nice.
00:40:04.880 That, that, that I will say was fun.
00:40:06.580 And then, yeah, I never had the prom.
00:40:08.320 Didn't have a prom.
00:40:08.860 Dude, what if you don't think about that?
00:40:11.960 You don't think about the other half of the school.
00:40:13.940 Cause there's half of the school that's like, yeah, prom, this is it.
00:40:17.180 I have a girlfriend.
00:40:18.300 I have a boyfriend.
00:40:19.300 I'm lucky.
00:40:20.580 I'm, you know, unisex.
00:40:22.540 I don't need anybody.
00:40:23.480 Just American time. 0.99
00:40:24.120 Like, but then there's like half the people that are like, fuck, I don't have anybody. 0.99
00:40:29.880 I'm afraid to ask someone. 0.99
00:40:31.840 My partner is ill or something.
00:40:34.860 Um, I've been molested, you know, just all kinds of stuff.
00:40:38.240 Yeah.
00:40:38.440 Always two sides of the story.
00:40:39.560 It was, so I, I enjoyed it.
00:40:40.860 I didn't mind it.
00:40:41.900 Fox, you're like, wow.
00:40:43.440 Yeah.
00:40:43.780 I was, I said to myself, this is kind of nice.
00:40:45.660 I, I was a little concerned though.
00:40:46.940 People were going to start taking dates to this boat ride.
00:40:48.940 Luckily they didn't.
00:40:49.680 Right.
00:40:50.240 And it was fine.
00:40:50.980 We basically just hung out.
00:40:51.880 It was, dude, do you remember how nerve wracking it was?
00:40:55.220 If somebody asked you to make, to get a date, right?
00:40:58.940 Like we had like Sadie Hawken, right?
00:41:00.900 Where the kid had, uh, the girl had to buy you a shirt, right?
00:41:04.980 And it was a matching shirt. 0.98
00:41:07.800 So first off, my mom was like, don't pick out some girl that picks out shitty shirts. 1.00
00:41:12.040 Like, right. 0.98
00:41:12.700 You know, grandma already gets you shitty shirts every year. 1.00
00:41:15.700 You need a good shirt. 0.94
00:41:17.520 So now I have this pressure, right?
00:41:19.500 And I'm not, you don't even get to pick.
00:41:20.960 Like the girl picks you.
00:41:22.420 Kind of like penguins.
00:41:23.880 Is it a women's picks it? 0.98
00:41:24.920 I could be dumb, but I think women, no, sorry. 1.00
00:41:27.060 Men present the women with a pearl. 0.96
00:41:28.580 My apologies.
00:41:29.460 But yes.
00:41:30.260 With a pearl?
00:41:31.020 Yeah.
00:41:31.320 I believe that's how they find it.
00:41:32.160 They find like a pearl or something.
00:41:33.320 That's how they propose to their ladies. 1.00
00:41:35.100 Really?
00:41:35.700 Yup.
00:41:36.240 I think so.
00:41:37.560 Wow.
00:41:37.880 Bring that up.
00:41:39.180 I'm pretty sure.
00:41:40.080 I believe it's a pearl.
00:41:40.900 They definitely find something.
00:41:41.780 I was watching an animal show one time and they like went to the end of the earth to find
00:41:44.980 their thing to present their lady.
00:41:46.340 I think you're watching maybe Ice Age or something.
00:41:49.260 I think it's something like that.
00:41:50.480 Is it using a pearl to propose?
00:41:51.940 I think so.
00:41:52.900 Because I'm not seeing anything on that.
00:41:54.560 Maybe not a pearl, but definitely something.
00:41:56.020 They have to find something and then give it to the lady. 0.99
00:41:57.880 I'm pretty sure.
00:41:58.860 How do penguins propose to one another?
00:42:03.380 Oh, with pebbles.
00:42:04.540 Pebbles.
00:42:05.060 Sorry.
00:42:05.800 A less fancy pearl.
00:42:08.500 That's a very good point.
00:42:09.320 That's all a pebble is, dude.
00:42:10.940 Yeah.
00:42:11.160 A pebble is just a pearl.
00:42:12.740 It's in rehab.
00:42:12.840 It finds the smoothest pebble.
00:42:15.560 Isn't that nice?
00:42:16.420 Romance.
00:42:16.720 People think romance is dead, huh?
00:42:18.220 That's a good point, isn't it?
00:42:19.980 During courtship, a male penguin will find the smoothest pebble to give to a female as
00:42:24.500 a gift.
00:42:25.320 If she likes the offering, she'll place it in the nest and the two will continue building
00:42:29.680 up their little pebble mound in preparation for the eggs.
00:42:32.200 That's actually beautiful.
00:42:33.340 I didn't know that.
00:42:34.140 Yeah.
00:42:34.440 I'm going to cry right now.
00:42:35.180 I didn't know that that was their beginning of the foundation for their nest for their
00:42:38.560 eggs. 0.99
00:42:38.840 That's fucking cute. 0.99
00:42:40.220 Dude, that is so romantic. 0.99
00:42:41.980 That's romantic as hell.
00:42:43.080 Because first of all, to even be a penguin, right, and balance a little pebble.
00:42:48.060 Yeah.
00:42:48.360 And they don't, it's not like they look down at the pebbles there.
00:42:50.260 They got to go find the smoothest pebble.
00:42:51.840 Yeah.
00:42:52.020 And first of all, how do you even lift the pebble further?
00:42:54.420 Because you can barely even look down.
00:42:56.160 I don't think a penguin can look down.
00:42:58.040 So you have to almost get the pebble way up here and look at it.
00:43:00.840 Maybe kick it. 0.98
00:43:01.760 Yes.
00:43:02.080 But then how do you test if it's the smoothest?
00:43:04.640 Oh.
00:43:05.920 How about that?
00:43:07.400 Penguins are wild.
00:43:08.360 Look at the one of them giving it to the other one.
00:43:10.560 Wow.
00:43:10.800 With the beak, he gives it.
00:43:12.340 Dude, it's like when Harry met Sally.
00:43:14.380 Yeah.
00:43:17.080 Man, that's amazing.
00:43:19.720 Is there something else really romantic that happens in nature?
00:43:22.700 See if you can find some of nature's best romance. 0.88
00:43:25.820 Because the only other thing I've seen is that lizard, that guy who's like a total perv 0.92
00:43:29.500 that puts the big fake thing. 0.87
00:43:32.240 Yeah, that's the only other thing I was going to say as well.
00:43:33.940 There was, I'm pretty sure in one of those shows I was watching one time, I think it
00:43:37.440 was some sort of a burn.
00:43:38.380 He literally put on a show you think you dance-esque performance for his lady.
00:43:43.220 Like he literally, it was unbelievable.
00:43:46.080 He looked like, he looked like Chris Brown. 0.75
00:43:48.400 He was crazy. 0.99
00:43:48.880 And then I think he actually f***ed the woman when they come over. 0.99
00:43:53.580 So it really had a lot. 0.97
00:43:55.120 But he really popped off on the dance.
00:43:56.720 A lot of C. Brown tendencies there.
00:43:59.320 Flamingos dance for their love. 1.00
00:44:00.700 Take us through that, Zach.
00:44:02.020 Yeah, this article lists a couple examples.
00:44:04.440 But flamingos dance for their love, I guess, in separate groups.
00:44:07.500 They strut together in search of a mate. 0.97
00:44:10.740 Seahorses, I guess, flirt a lot.
00:44:12.280 Horny.
00:44:13.480 Yeah.
00:44:15.140 Wolves.
00:44:16.460 Wolves mate for life.
00:44:18.620 Now that's interesting.
00:44:20.300 Wolves mate for life.
00:44:22.020 Yeah, their packs are generally like nuclear families that comprise an adult male. 1.00
00:44:25.840 Oh, damn. 0.99
00:44:27.020 Dude, did you possibly see that story out of Vegas about a month or two ago? 1.00
00:44:31.360 That some sort of dog, I think it was not, it wasn't a bulldog.
00:44:34.480 I think it was maybe a pit bull.
00:44:36.120 Was adopted by a pack of wolves outside of Vegas and became their leader.
00:44:39.520 Really?
00:44:40.180 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:40.880 Damn. 1.00
00:44:41.200 Animal control found him and took him back, but he became their leader. 1.00
00:44:43.780 He was the leader of the pack.
00:44:45.180 Wow.
00:44:45.700 They didn't kill him and then let him become the leader.
00:44:48.440 Huh.
00:44:49.100 Yeah.
00:44:49.860 White dogs started living with Coyote Pack and Nevada rescued.
00:44:53.440 Apparently he became the leader of the crew.
00:44:55.340 Wow.
00:44:57.420 They've got to make them, see, but they won't make this movie, you know, because it's probably
00:45:01.180 too much violence.
00:45:03.400 I don't know if they can animate it.
00:45:04.360 You know, like they won't make like babe pig in the crypts, you know, that's fair.
00:45:09.260 I would love to see this stuff.
00:45:10.180 Yeah.
00:45:10.320 I made it animated for adults.
00:45:12.500 Maybe make like Charlie Hunnam, the lead voice in an American accent and his Jack's
00:45:16.220 Teller accent.
00:45:17.620 Yeah.
00:45:18.040 Oh, that would be nice.
00:45:19.200 How with Miles Teller in it.
00:45:20.580 Oh, I'm down for Miles Teller as well, dude.
00:45:22.400 We should make a new outsiders with Miles Teller in it.
00:45:25.540 Remember the outsiders that of course was that Tom, Tom Cruise in the outsiders.
00:45:30.160 Or am I thinking of stand by me?
00:45:32.300 I'm mixing them up.
00:45:33.680 No, Tom Cruise wasn't in stand by me.
00:45:35.080 I think he might've been in the outsiders.
00:45:36.320 Was he?
00:45:36.620 As outsiders stay golden pony boy.
00:45:38.200 Yeah.
00:45:38.580 Yes.
00:45:39.560 I think he had like Rob Lowe.
00:45:41.080 Yes.
00:45:41.620 Rob Lowe.
00:45:42.780 Tom Cruise.
00:45:44.620 Wow.
00:45:44.860 Tom Cruise was in there.
00:45:45.700 Matt Dillon.
00:45:46.860 Macchio.
00:45:47.700 Patrick Swayze. 1.00
00:45:49.080 That's a goddamn power crew. 1.00
00:45:51.040 It's unreal. 1.00
00:45:51.740 It's like the 80s Avengers.
00:45:53.120 Yeah.
00:45:53.480 See Thomas Howe.
00:45:54.340 That's unbelievable.
00:45:55.680 Um, what were we talking about?
00:45:58.280 Uh, your lady in high school giving, finding you a good shirt.
00:46:01.080 Yeah.
00:46:01.900 Thank you, man.
00:46:02.580 Wow.
00:46:02.800 You're a good, you're know what you're doing.
00:46:05.440 Um, so yeah, the girl had to pick out the shirt, you know, and I never really had, I didn't
00:46:10.480 have like the girlfriend.
00:46:11.280 I always had kind of like the one where you kind of got set up.
00:46:13.700 I wasn't in the circle of like getting the notes from the girls a lot and stuff.
00:46:18.660 So it was always like you, like I was always a little bit on the outside of like my friend
00:46:22.540 Scott would always get the date and then one of her friends and I would go with one
00:46:27.140 of the friends and, um, yeah.
00:46:29.600 And then you would just hope that Scott made out with some girls so he could tell you about
00:46:33.700 it.
00:46:33.920 Did you do prom though?
00:46:35.840 Um, yep.
00:46:36.340 I went to prom.
00:46:37.040 Oh dude.
00:46:37.700 So how'd you, how'd you go about doing your date?
00:46:39.680 Well, so prom, um, I, there was a girl that came into the office cause I used to go in
00:46:46.580 the office and hang out in there.
00:46:47.820 Right.
00:46:48.640 And flirt with this lady that kind of looked like an animal a little bit, but she worked 1.00
00:46:52.520 at our school.
00:46:53.960 So I'd go in there and kind of flirt with her and stuff and just kind of, cause I wanted 0.92
00:46:58.820 to be out of class.
00:47:00.320 So I'd go in there and just sit in there and, you know, and, uh, and then they gave me a
00:47:06.540 job and they're working behind the desk. 0.69
00:47:08.000 I didn't do anything, but at least I was in there for a reason now.
00:47:10.900 So they could like, so it wasn't like an insurance issue or whatever.
00:47:15.080 So one day this girl came in and she needed something from me.
00:47:20.060 So she like asked, so it was like, I always had the toughest time kind of talking to the
00:47:24.300 girls.
00:47:24.600 So once this girl kind of needed something from me, it was like, suddenly I was like of
00:47:28.900 use, you know?
00:47:29.740 So I started flirting a little bit.
00:47:32.320 And then next thing you know, we, uh, we ended up dating and, um, made love.
00:47:39.620 And, um, I took her to the school day.
00:47:43.020 We went to the school prom, but what happened?
00:47:46.900 She, uh, left to go to an after party early.
00:47:49.940 No.
00:47:50.340 Yes.
00:47:50.900 And I got stuck.
00:47:51.980 So I had to draw, I drove this one, this one, uh, white guy that went to our school.
00:47:57.720 He, uh, wore like one of the, he wore like a, um, a blazer that had those shoulder pads
00:48:03.680 in it.
00:48:04.160 Nice.
00:48:04.600 Like single moms used to have to wear because the husband had left, you know? 1.00
00:48:07.500 Sure.
00:48:08.680 And, um, so he wore that.
00:48:11.720 And I remember I was like, dude, I'll give you a ride.
00:48:14.620 And he's like, all right, cool.
00:48:16.360 And so we're driving to the party and he breaks down crying, bro.
00:48:19.660 So now I want to get to this party because you know, in high school, you only kind of
00:48:22.800 get so many chances to make love to your girl.
00:48:24.780 Right.
00:48:25.240 But what was the love made already before this party or this was your, it was made before.
00:48:29.080 Okay.
00:48:29.740 But this was still like prom night.
00:48:31.640 It's still, it's still a Superbowl of the love.
00:48:33.360 It's, it's a Superbowl of high school lovemaking.
00:48:35.080 Yeah.
00:48:35.700 Yeah.
00:48:35.940 That's it.
00:48:36.360 It's the biggest deal from what I see in the movies.
00:48:38.820 Cause I don't have one.
00:48:39.600 Yeah.
00:48:39.900 So you're excited, bro.
00:48:42.180 And he starts telling this dude had the craziest, he kept saying that people thought he looked
00:48:47.360 like somebody, people thought he looked like Damon Wayans.
00:48:50.940 Right.
00:48:51.300 And he was a white guy.
00:48:53.800 And right then I knew he's nobody thought that.
00:48:56.740 Right. 1.00
00:48:57.340 And he's just kind of like losing his shit. 1.00
00:48:59.380 Bring up a picture of Damon Wayans. 1.00
00:49:00.740 If you can, the daddy.
00:49:02.520 And he's like, man, people expect so much out of me, you know?
00:49:08.680 I was like, dude, nobody, you know, I'm just thinking nobody.
00:49:10.940 And he's a white guy. 0.79
00:49:11.620 I mean, this guy's black. 0.71
00:49:12.420 Damon Wayans is black. 1.00
00:49:14.900 So anyway, I knew I'm like, fuck, dude. 1.00
00:49:16.680 But the guy's crying. 0.99
00:49:17.740 So it's like, it's, it's so hard to get from somebody crying to, okay, deescalate the situation
00:49:23.440 and get over to, you know, before your date gets too drunk where you can't make out.
00:49:27.920 Yeah, so did you, uh, or were you feel comfortable making out also, which is what we're going
00:49:32.220 to say.
00:49:32.720 Did you, so did you wind up not going to party?
00:49:35.080 No, we got there, man.
00:49:36.040 But I had to sit for like a half hour and be in the car with him while he cried.
00:49:38.940 And then, um, it's a mood kill, buzz kill.
00:49:40.940 Oh, it was the worst, dude.
00:49:41.920 Because I kept just one, like it's prom.
00:49:44.100 Going to open the door every, every five minutes.
00:49:46.860 Yeah, that, that's, that's, that's tough.
00:49:48.820 And he's like, man, and people expect so much out of me, man.
00:49:51.140 People expect so much out of me.
00:49:52.520 And I'm like, nobody even knows what you're talking about.
00:49:55.220 Hey, look at us, two guys with bad prom experiences.
00:49:57.140 Yeah.
00:49:57.840 What was yours?
00:49:58.660 You didn't have one at all.
00:49:59.400 It got canceled.
00:50:00.060 No, we had none at all.
00:50:01.160 It's yours got canceled.
00:50:01.840 We literally just had that boat ride.
00:50:03.300 So was it weird going into summer then not have, having made love yet?
00:50:08.000 Um, it was a little odd because that was, uh, it was summer and then we were going to college
00:50:11.840 and college was interesting.
00:50:14.220 Yeah.
00:50:14.680 College now college showing up to college.
00:50:17.260 I think having made love or not made love, that seems like a, I wonder what that feels like
00:50:23.340 to a guy.
00:50:24.060 I mean, I know what it feels like, but I'd made love.
00:50:27.440 Yeah.
00:50:27.880 Yeah.
00:50:28.080 So you kind of had that monkey off your nuts or whatever, you know?
00:50:31.140 Yeah. 0.99
00:50:31.260 College was a scary ass time. 0.94
00:50:32.520 I really did not like it. 0.95
00:50:33.360 I went to UAlbany for like three semesters.
00:50:35.900 UAlbany was an, it was an odd, it's an odd place.
00:50:38.020 There's, I'm on record saying, I think the most satanic people are in upstate New York.
00:50:43.820 Yeah.
00:50:44.140 There, there's just a eerie vibe in upstate New York.
00:50:46.840 It's an eerie, eerie place.
00:50:48.400 Yeah. 1.00
00:50:48.720 A lot of neck tattoos, a lot of fucking people getting punched in the back of the head while 1.00
00:50:52.720 they're trying to eat a TV dinner, that kind of shit. 1.00
00:50:54.580 That's very fair. 1.00
00:50:55.360 Yeah.
00:50:55.580 It's, it's, it's a creepy, creepy, odd place.
00:50:57.420 I mean, there was, there was one time where literally I was, um, it was my freshman year,
00:51:03.120 first semester.
00:51:05.060 I was staying on the eighth floor.
00:51:06.300 We were lucky enough.
00:51:06.800 I like won the lottery of being in the nice tower, being in the good tower, the brand new
00:51:10.960 tower, Indian tower it was called, which was awesome.
00:51:13.540 Were you big?
00:51:14.140 Were you physically larger at this point or not?
00:51:16.700 Um, yeah, I would say a little larger than I am now, but, but, um, not, not as big as
00:51:20.640 I had gotten, like I said, but, um, so we were in there, it was eighth floor.
00:51:24.760 I always remember it was great.
00:51:25.640 We had communal bathrooms, not a community bathroom suite.
00:51:28.140 So we only switched area bathroom with like six people.
00:51:30.160 Great times.
00:51:31.200 For some reason though, whenever for that first semester we were drinking like personals of
00:51:36.700 Bacardi every Friday night.
00:51:38.020 I don't know why we were drinking personals of what is that gin?
00:51:41.540 I think gin kind of homeless, sexy kind of.
00:51:43.460 Yeah.
00:51:43.740 I was drinking like Bacardi apple personals.
00:51:45.300 No idea why, but either way it was Friday, it was Friday night one night and I'm a noted 0.98
00:51:48.760 pussy like about many things like definitely supernatural stuff. 0.96
00:51:53.100 Like about what? 0.99
00:51:53.600 Drinking and shit like that? 0.91
00:51:54.780 No, no, no. 0.99
00:51:55.520 Actually, you know, fun fact, I was the last of my friends to start drinking.
00:51:58.740 I started drinking in the junior year at this.
00:52:01.000 Wow.
00:52:01.140 Okay.
00:52:01.360 Yeah.
00:52:01.760 Yeah.
00:52:01.920 This weird thing called the Coliseum, but that's another thing.
00:52:04.200 In college or in high school?
00:52:05.580 High school.
00:52:06.280 Okay.
00:52:06.420 I used to walk around and tell my friends I'm going to be the DD.
00:52:08.260 I can't wait until I get my license.
00:52:09.560 I'll drive everybody around.
00:52:10.780 Oh yeah.
00:52:11.100 You probably wanted to be a cab driver.
00:52:12.460 I mean, a lot of that's just being Italian.
00:52:13.860 Yeah.
00:52:14.000 That went out of the door though, once I got that nice taste, but after that, so.
00:52:18.900 Okay.
00:52:19.260 So you're in college.
00:52:20.520 They got you Rapunzel'd up.
00:52:22.480 They got you Sugar Ray punzel'd up in the top of the tower.
00:52:25.980 You're living large.
00:52:26.760 You got your own pisser up there.
00:52:28.400 You're doing good.
00:52:29.020 Dude, he was the best man.
00:52:29.860 So it's Friday night.
00:52:30.660 We all have our personals and then we elect me to be the guy that night to go downstairs
00:52:35.240 to the basement to get the sodas, to chase everything.
00:52:37.880 So I go down to the basement, get the sodas, go back up to the A4, but we're stopped at
00:52:41.620 the first floor.
00:52:42.300 Yeah.
00:52:42.500 I step into the elevator and I, I will remember this clear as day, step into the elevator,
00:52:48.140 go to the back right corner of it, in walks in this kid that I've seen on campus that
00:52:52.080 I know he was.
00:52:52.620 And this girl that I saw on campus that I definitely always found, she just looked a 0.60
00:52:56.180 little creepy, looked a little off.
00:52:57.640 Oh yeah.
00:52:58.920 And I'm looking about, and she-
00:53:00.040 Like kind of wizardy looking?
00:53:01.520 Yes.
00:53:01.980 Almost like a, like a Harry Potter student.
00:53:03.540 Yeah.
00:53:03.940 And she, so I'm in the back left corner.
00:53:05.940 This kid stands directly in front of me in the other corner.
00:53:07.920 She immediately walks in and sits down in the right corner to me. 0.97
00:53:10.940 And I see her sitting down.
00:53:11.920 And I tell myself, why the, why is this girl sitting down in the corner?
00:53:16.040 Elevator door closes.
00:53:16.860 As soon as the door closed, she starts like freaking out almost like shaking and screaming 1.00
00:53:22.460 at the top of her lungs.
00:53:23.440 And I'm trying not to look.
00:53:24.520 I look over to her and she is covered in like satanic writing.
00:53:29.600 There was like a six, six, six on her forehead, like a pentagram all over her arm. 1.00
00:53:33.900 And I, like I said, I'm a massive, massive pussy. 1.00
00:53:37.380 I immediately, I had, it was one of the, probably the most scared I've been in my life. 1.00
00:53:42.280 Cause I don't, I don't fuck with the satanic stuff in the slightest. 0.98
00:53:44.660 Yeah. 0.99
00:53:44.780 Well, who likes Satan?
00:53:45.620 No.
00:53:46.140 Who likes Satan?
00:53:46.680 There's people.
00:53:46.860 But, and I'm sitting there having, I was white as a ghost.
00:53:50.820 And then thank God, these girls who don't know got off at four, six, they were getting 1.00
00:53:54.080 on.
00:53:54.340 So I jumped off at four, six.
00:53:55.840 Those girls immediately said, this man is the most unattractive man I've ever seen in
00:53:58.560 my life. 1.00
00:53:59.180 Jumping out of that, seeing me just white as a fucking ghost. 1.00
00:54:01.560 But you know what? 0.99
00:54:02.080 I went back up and my roommate still says to this day that he's never seen a human being
00:54:06.140 truly white as a ghost.
00:54:07.760 It was, I was so terrified.
00:54:09.680 I didn't know if there was some sort of like satanic cult going on in the school or if it
00:54:14.320 was a joke.
00:54:14.980 I truly don't know to this day.
00:54:16.300 So if you happen to be watching this, whatever your name was, I would, I would love to know.
00:54:20.220 I don't know.
00:54:21.240 To this day, it was, it was terrifyingly scary.
00:54:25.340 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
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00:54:30.420 Um, and I'm grateful over the years to, uh, I feel like beginning to know myself, you
00:54:37.240 know, it's interesting as you kind of evolve, you get to know yourself.
00:54:42.060 So I'm like, Oh, you know, once you get used to everything else in the world, you're just
00:54:46.380 like, Oh, dang, I'm going to learn about me.
00:54:50.140 And if you have trouble getting to know yourself, um, BetterHelp is there.
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00:56:08.560 That's how I just want it.
00:56:10.120 They got the crinkle cut fries, the Texas toast.
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00:56:14.280 I love Raisin Cane's.
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00:56:23.120 like the Caniac combo, then, uh, then you can go onto their website.
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00:56:47.400 So you said this would be the summer of you.
00:56:50.040 But then you remembered you have kids and now you spend every sunny day at water parks
00:56:54.640 and petting zoos.
00:56:55.940 So be it.
00:56:57.100 We do the prep so you can get your you time back with freshly prepared, ready for you
00:57:01.480 dishes from Sobeys.
00:57:02.660 Yeah, you know, they had a lot that, you know, until Harry Potter came out that the wizarding
00:57:10.200 group of people were like a lot of the like Satanist kids, that Satanist vibe.
00:57:17.040 Yeah.
00:57:17.380 They morphed.
00:57:18.260 Some of them, I think when Harry Potter came out, they got there like, okay, this is a way
00:57:22.280 for me to get out of this.
00:57:23.240 This is our new thing.
00:57:24.300 Right.
00:57:24.500 Well, this is a chance.
00:57:25.340 If I'm not going full Satan and I'm just Hufflepuffing around, this is a chance for me
00:57:29.360 to just to, you know, this is a way out, which is not a lot of agreed.
00:57:34.240 A lot of those people got onto that.
00:57:36.340 Now, some people stayed Satan.
00:57:38.260 Yeah. 0.97
00:57:38.500 If you stayed on the seat, you're going straight to hell. 0.97
00:57:40.980 Yeah. 0.92
00:57:41.380 I mean, or yeah.
00:57:42.080 Or you're like a, yeah.
00:57:42.920 If you're like a Colts fan or whatever, I don't know.
00:57:45.500 But some people just stayed going out there.
00:57:48.300 But some people got off on the Harry Potter when that when Hogwarts rolled up, they're like, 0.98
00:57:52.200 I'm fucking thank God. 0.96
00:57:54.600 Yeah. 0.98
00:57:55.060 There were some guys that are Voldemort guys.
00:57:56.800 They stayed Voldemort guys.
00:57:57.840 They kept, yeah, they kept doing that.
00:58:00.000 You know, it's a little fun fact, though.
00:58:01.100 Apparently, Satanists aren't actually, they don't believe in Satan.
00:58:03.800 They just believe in nothing, which is odd.
00:58:07.120 But they also, but they also, I think they worship like the idol of like Baphomet, which
00:58:11.140 is that dude with the goat head. 0.55
00:58:13.140 Yeah.
00:58:13.400 Or Beelzebub.
00:58:14.140 Let's bring up Beelzebub, please. 0.94
00:58:16.120 Oh, yeah.
00:58:18.660 You know what?
00:58:19.260 I'm curious about the different Satans.
00:58:21.320 Yeah.
00:58:21.660 There's Beelzebub. 0.85
00:58:22.880 I think he was like, I think Beelzebub is actually like the biblical Satan, I believe.
00:58:27.840 Yeah. 0.91
00:58:29.220 That guy's creepy as hell.
00:58:30.580 I think of this, I think of like, I think of like the villain in Tenacious D.
00:58:34.920 I wonder what that guy would do, huh?
00:58:36.960 That dude?
00:58:37.780 Mm-hmm.
00:58:38.160 Looking like a corned up cougar with his little Antichrist baby. 0.79
00:58:42.400 That's tough stuff.
00:58:43.340 The scariest part is that he has that baby because part of you is going to want to help
00:58:46.180 the baby.
00:58:46.660 Antichrist.
00:58:46.720 But part of you knows that that baby is probably already compromised.
00:58:50.560 And that is also the Antichrist.
00:58:51.800 That is the continuation of Satan, I guess, theoretically.
00:58:55.360 Like Rosemary's Baby.
00:58:56.200 You ever see that movie?
00:58:57.100 Mm-hmm.
00:58:57.320 That's Rosemary's Baby right there, baby.
00:58:58.980 Mm-hmm.
00:58:59.980 I mean, and that'll make you be pro-choice.
00:59:03.560 Yes.
00:59:06.000 Roman Polanski.
00:59:06.960 Let's look at different Satans.
00:59:10.060 Can you look that up, please?
00:59:11.800 I just want to see some of the different ones.
00:59:13.000 I've never thought about this.
00:59:13.960 The different types of Satan they have.
00:59:16.140 Now, there's that.
00:59:17.140 Yeah.
00:59:17.540 That's the Tenacious D-Satan.
00:59:18.880 That's your Tenacious D-Satan. 0.77
00:59:20.620 That's your pop culture Satan.
00:59:22.060 Yeah, that's your very run-of-the-mill kind of... 0.80
00:59:24.900 Everyday Satan.
00:59:26.020 Yeah.
00:59:27.160 That's your everyday Satan. 0.83
00:59:28.380 That's your like, yeah, three in the afternoon, we need a Satan.
00:59:30.560 Ooh, that look at Lucifer there. 0.95
00:59:31.880 That's just a normal dude naked with some wings.
00:59:34.600 Top left.
00:59:35.400 Oh, wow.
00:59:36.060 Look at that.
00:59:36.620 Yeah.
00:59:36.760 So that guy could really be anybody.
00:59:38.020 So that guy, I feel like that was Satan in his human form before he went downstairs.
00:59:43.280 Yeah.
00:59:44.100 That guy's got a top hat, though.
00:59:45.260 I enjoy that one.
00:59:45.980 Oh, that's good.
00:59:47.540 Like, he's a businessman.
00:59:48.780 Like, look here.
00:59:50.040 Monopoly went wrong.
00:59:51.300 Yeah, like, I'm gonna manage Elvis.
00:59:55.260 Wow, you see a lot of that goat with wings, with horns.
00:59:59.320 It's the goat head.
01:00:00.060 That's the one that'll get you.
01:00:00.860 The pentagram.
01:00:02.840 When was the first Satan?
01:00:05.440 I think it just said that Lucifer's, what, 350 B.C.?
01:00:08.800 If you click on the man, the naked man, 350 years with John Milton's Paradise Lost.
01:00:13.920 Oh, okay.
01:00:14.280 Let's look that up, Zach, if you don't mind.
01:00:17.260 When was the first Satan?
01:00:19.780 What is that in the Bible?
01:00:21.560 This is bad for me. 1.00
01:00:22.360 I went to fucking Catholic high school, like I said. 1.00
01:00:26.060 No, look, man, this is... 1.00
01:00:27.220 Oh, look at that guy.
01:00:27.960 Okay, Satan, also known as the devil, and sometimes also called Lucifer in Christianity,
01:00:36.140 is an entity in the Abrahamic religions that seduces humans into sin or falsehood.
01:00:42.480 Hmm.
01:00:44.460 In Judaism, Satan is seen as an agent, figures.
01:00:48.500 That's the most, you know, you gotta have an agent.
01:00:51.260 Subservient to God.
01:00:53.460 Typically regarded as a metaphor for the yetzer hara, or evil inclination, so the evil inclination of God.
01:01:00.800 What does that say, Zach?
01:01:03.960 A figure known as Satan first appears in the Hebrew Bible as a heavenly prosecutor, as we were talking about.
01:01:09.720 So he was good and then went bad, but it's first appeared in the Hebrew Bible.
01:01:13.280 So that kind of means he was like the Judge Judy kind of the Hebrew Bible. 0.76
01:01:17.800 Right.
01:01:18.100 And then he went wrong.
01:01:19.480 He wanted all the power for himself, I guess.
01:01:21.700 That's normal.
01:01:22.740 Yeah, it happens.
01:01:25.580 All right, so you're in college.
01:01:27.260 You got...
01:01:27.860 Things are going pretty cool.
01:01:29.500 You're enjoying it.
01:01:30.840 I didn't love it.
01:01:31.740 I really did not.
01:01:32.420 I just...
01:01:32.860 I love my friends from home just a lot, and I just kind of just miss them.
01:01:36.060 You did?
01:01:36.560 Yeah, a lot.
01:01:37.320 A lot, a lot, a lot.
01:01:38.120 Then I transferred home.
01:01:39.420 Oh, dang.
01:01:39.840 I went to...
01:01:40.620 I went to school at Baruch with this, like, business college, Manhattan, on 23rd and Lexington.
01:01:46.520 And then I got hired at my job beginning of the second semester of that.
01:01:52.160 At Barstool?
01:01:52.780 Yes, sir.
01:01:53.320 And then I did two more.
01:01:54.920 Finished that semester, did one more, and then I dropped out.
01:01:56.840 Oh, you dropped out of college.
01:01:57.820 I am a college dropout.
01:01:59.120 Yeah.
01:01:59.780 Good times.
01:02:00.760 Hmm.
01:02:01.600 Whatever.
01:02:02.520 Yeah.
01:02:03.040 It was like six years ago now, so...
01:02:04.780 Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times college is just if you don't even know what to do,
01:02:07.900 people will go into college.
01:02:09.020 Yeah, it was scary because, like, my mom obviously didn't want me to drop out, but then I kept telling
01:02:12.680 her the point of college is to get your dream job, and I had my dream job, so why?
01:02:16.380 Or should I not just drop out for it?
01:02:19.540 And I would venture to guess the experience I've had, and the six years since is well
01:02:23.680 worth more than a college degree in nothing.
01:02:26.020 I had no major.
01:02:27.240 I was...
01:02:28.240 It might shock you.
01:02:28.840 I was horrible at math, so when I transferred, I even...
01:02:30.960 When I transferred, I had to do a whole...
01:02:33.380 What do they call it?
01:02:34.880 Intermediate or remedial math class for a whole semester.
01:02:37.900 I didn't even get credit for the class.
01:02:39.280 And then to even get a major, I had to do, like, two more math courses.
01:02:42.720 Hmm, math.
01:02:43.160 Yeah, so math really got me.
01:02:45.720 Yeah.
01:02:46.160 And when I...
01:02:46.700 Yeah, when I dropped out, I didn't even have a major, and I was a junior.
01:02:51.760 Yeah.
01:02:52.360 Oh, math will trip up any real s**t, you know what I'm saying, bro?
01:02:55.420 Sorry, sorry.
01:02:57.840 But yeah, math...
01:02:59.160 Math will get you, boy.
01:03:02.360 Yeah, but that was...
01:03:03.820 I was such a relief that today I got hired, too, because it was just so, like...
01:03:08.120 Yeah, well, that was a huge...
01:03:09.120 I mean, Barstool was a huge corporation then.
01:03:10.900 I mean, how long have you been working there?
01:03:11.740 Six years?
01:03:12.020 Dude, I've been...
01:03:13.020 This September is going to be seven.
01:03:15.040 Wow.
01:03:15.340 But I mean, I got hired...
01:03:16.400 Caleb hired me, which is fun to talk about now.
01:03:19.020 Like, quite literally, the day I got hired at work, my mom...
01:03:23.340 I was doing Tuesday, Thursday, Monday, Wednesday class, and then Friday, there was, like,
01:03:27.460 a 20-minute recap of the Monday, Wednesday class.
01:03:30.960 So for the first few weeks of that, my mom was... 1.00
01:03:32.840 At Baruch?
01:03:33.480 Yep.
01:03:33.860 My mom was driving me into the...
01:03:35.000 Is it a Jewish school, or is this the name of it?
01:03:36.780 Bernard Baruch is, like, a famous business guy.
01:03:38.920 He may have been in the tribe.
01:03:40.320 I'm sure he...
01:03:40.800 I think he was, actually.
01:03:41.840 Is your family Jewish or no?
01:03:43.120 No, Italian.
01:03:43.860 Okay.
01:03:44.260 Italian and Greek.
01:03:45.220 Do they have Italian-Jewish people?
01:03:46.500 Yeah.
01:03:47.380 I would...
01:03:47.920 I feel like Italians and Jews cross-mingle a lot, so there's definitely some. 1.00
01:03:52.520 Yeah.
01:03:53.020 But, um...
01:03:54.180 So my mom literally drove me to the city that day, because we were doing a nice, very wholesome...
01:03:59.100 She would drop me off every Friday.
01:04:00.920 I would go on my 20-minute recap, and then I would go to a nice lunch in the city.
01:04:03.260 You and your mother.
01:04:03.740 Yeah, it was nice.
01:04:04.460 Yeah.
01:04:05.000 Beautiful.
01:04:05.180 So she saw how nervous I was.
01:04:06.960 I got the internship interview at 12.30 that day.
01:04:11.320 The class was from...
01:04:12.360 Ended at, let's say, 11.45.
01:04:14.140 So she drove me over there, and I was freaking out, too, because at the time, I was actually
01:04:18.580 emailing with what I thought was Erica Nardini, our CEO.
01:04:21.720 It was really just her office manager, but they made it seem like it was a...
01:04:24.660 It was whose office manager?
01:04:25.760 Our office manager.
01:04:26.640 His name was Brett.
01:04:27.220 He used to work with us.
01:04:28.460 At Barstool?
01:04:29.040 Yes, sir.
01:04:29.520 So you thought you were just emailing with the office manager from Barstool?
01:04:32.120 I thought I was emailing with Erica as the CEO, but it was really Brett behind that.
01:04:36.160 So I think I'm emailing Erica.
01:04:38.020 I think it's like a business interview type of thing.
01:04:40.380 As I'm going over there, I look at the Barstool Snapchat, and I see Caleb interviewing people. 1.00
01:04:43.900 So I'm saying, oh, fuck. 0.99
01:04:45.140 This is kind of like a content thing, and I'm shitting bricks because... 1.00
01:04:48.280 Now you're going to be on camera.
01:04:49.240 Now I'm going to be on camera.
01:04:50.120 I was a fan of Caleb, a fan of everybody.
01:04:51.620 I was a big Barstool fan.
01:04:52.620 And you're nervous.
01:04:53.820 Your mother knows you're nervous.
01:04:54.960 Terrifyingly nervous.
01:04:55.760 And also, one thing that's value...
01:04:57.000 Now, this is a value of having children that I think are thicker, is that you can see when
01:05:01.780 they're nervous easier.
01:05:03.360 That's fair.
01:05:03.900 I get rosy cheeks.
01:05:05.160 I get big-time rosy cheeks.
01:05:06.400 I've been told that a lot.
01:05:07.320 And I think that there's something about that.
01:05:08.840 As a mother, it must be... 0.96
01:05:10.940 Because you have all these other mothers. 0.88
01:05:12.280 The kid's on pills for nine months, dude.
01:05:14.380 They have no idea, but he weighs 121 pounds.
01:05:17.080 Yes, sir.
01:05:17.760 So she knew I was worried, and then I know it's a content interview then.
01:05:22.680 I did not realize.
01:05:23.500 Did you ever go to our old office by any chance?
01:05:25.160 I did one time.
01:05:25.980 So do you remember how you get off the elevator, and everyone's sitting right there?
01:05:30.200 Yeah, it's kind of alarming.
01:05:31.540 So it's quite terrifying.
01:05:32.580 So I'm a Barstool fan.
01:05:33.620 No idea what I'm walking into.
01:05:34.680 I get off the elevator.
01:05:36.360 Everybody's sitting right there.
01:05:37.660 Extremely scary.
01:05:38.540 I go walk by the bar.
01:05:39.760 They say, stand there for a second.
01:05:41.180 Go talk to Caleb. 0.98
01:05:42.580 I'm shitting bricks.
01:05:43.560 I'm a Caleb Presley fan at the time. 0.92
01:05:45.900 Still am.
01:05:46.260 And he just sits me down and asks me, are you fast?
01:05:50.440 And I said, you know what?
01:05:51.320 For my size, I am pretty fast.
01:05:52.780 When I play softball, I get down the line pretty quick.
01:05:55.480 People will be shocked.
01:05:56.240 I beat an out-of-ground ball or two in my day.
01:05:58.120 He says, prove it.
01:05:59.300 Let's go downstairs to the street, to the 28th.
01:06:01.640 And when my mom dropped me off, I said, Claudia, drive away. 0.99
01:06:05.140 Don't stay here.
01:06:05.760 I don't know what's going to happen.
01:06:06.700 Just don't stay here.
01:06:06.920 That's your mother's name, Claudia? 0.95
01:06:07.780 Yeah.
01:06:08.240 You call her by Claudia?
01:06:09.480 I call her Claudia sometimes.
01:06:10.660 It's a beautiful name.
01:06:11.400 Yeah, I like Claudia. 0.95
01:06:12.360 My mom's name, so I like it.
01:06:13.480 So I call her Claude sometimes.
01:06:14.580 She's Claude on my phone.
01:06:16.000 But so we go outside.
01:06:17.960 She didn't move. 0.98
01:06:18.860 So I'm fucking freaking out. 0.98
01:06:20.420 My mom is literally right there. 0.98
01:06:21.780 And I'm out there with the camera and Caleb.
01:06:23.720 No, your mother's right there?
01:06:25.060 She's right there.
01:06:25.880 If you watch the video, her car is just-
01:06:29.200 Pretending she's not there?
01:06:30.100 Probably sitting in the car smoking a cigarette.
01:06:31.860 But she was there.
01:06:32.980 That checks out.
01:06:33.880 And I think she-
01:06:34.580 That's awesome.
01:06:35.460 It was great.
01:06:36.120 Yeah.
01:06:36.340 I was just terrified if she was going to get out of the car and say something or anything. 0.77
01:06:39.580 Yeah.
01:06:39.980 We walked to the corner, run down the street.
01:06:41.500 Caleb says, you know what, you are fast.
01:06:42.760 You're hired.
01:06:43.400 We go up and talk to Dave.
01:06:45.480 As I'm walking out, Gaz, our head of social says, what's your-
01:06:49.980 Do you have any nicknames?
01:06:51.100 And I recently had watched Entourage and Goodfellas.
01:06:55.500 And Goodfellas was a character named Sally Balls.
01:06:58.240 Entourage was a character named Wally Balls.
01:06:59.760 I think just in my head, I thought Glenny Balls would be a name.
01:07:02.140 But me and my friends really jokingly named me that.
01:07:05.440 Like, I would call myself that jokingly when we were talking about gambling or something.
01:07:09.060 Glenny Balls, huh?
01:07:09.820 Yeah, like when I'm talking about horse racing or anything.
01:07:11.940 Yeah.
01:07:13.840 Sammy Spheres, Ronnie Rounds.
01:07:16.060 Yes, sir.
01:07:16.480 You know what I'm talking about?
01:07:17.680 So I said, oh, my friends call me Glenny Balls.
01:07:19.700 And then I think the name is a bit.
01:07:21.380 It's a catchy name.
01:07:22.420 It's a good name.
01:07:22.680 I think it's a good name.
01:07:23.480 And then, yeah, then pretty crazy.
01:07:25.800 Me and Caleb started hanging out.
01:07:27.140 And what about mom at that moment?
01:07:28.420 Did you hug?
01:07:28.760 Because the craziest thing that moms do is not leave and then pretend they left. 1.00
01:07:34.760 Dude, you know what happened, actually.
01:07:36.360 So it was right when Barstool first moved to New York.
01:07:39.700 So everybody living across the country finally moved together.
01:07:43.240 Every Friday, they were doing Aloha Fridays. 0.98
01:07:46.020 So everyone would dress in Hawaiian shirts and make margaritas and shit. 0.98
01:07:49.400 But I had just turned 20. 0.98
01:07:51.640 That's nice, like Christmas almost.
01:07:52.980 Yes, sir.
01:07:53.380 I had just turned 20.
01:07:54.540 And they immediately say, you're the intern.
01:07:56.060 Go get us alcohol.
01:07:57.060 And I, of course, had fake IDs.
01:07:58.820 Oh, yeah.
01:07:59.440 But I didn't want to use a fake ID and maybe get in trouble.
01:08:01.700 You just started.
01:08:02.460 As a Long Island person, using fake IDs in the city was always a bit of a scary thing.
01:08:06.300 So I called my mom.
01:08:07.200 Like, hey, how far away are you?
01:08:08.480 Are you on the bridge yet?
01:08:09.820 She comes back, bought me all the alcohol.
01:08:13.580 And then bought underage children alcohol.
01:08:15.180 No, my coworkers now were of age.
01:08:17.140 Oh.
01:08:17.500 Because I was just scared to buy it for, I was scared to get, like, in trouble using a fake ID.
01:08:22.100 So my mom came back, drove back to the office, went to the liquor store down the street, bought us the alcohol. 1.00
01:08:27.380 And then I just gave it to everybody else.
01:08:29.400 I was scared to not deliver.
01:08:32.640 Yeah.
01:08:33.460 And then I got Caleb Chipotle.
01:08:34.800 That was my first day at work.
01:08:35.880 Went to a Met game that night.
01:08:37.520 Caleb's an interesting guy.
01:08:38.700 He's the most interesting man that I've come across.
01:08:41.480 He's very, you know, I think there's other levels.
01:08:43.880 So there's layers to him that more will be revealed, I think.
01:08:47.220 Yes.
01:08:47.720 I think there's things about him that a lot of us don't know.
01:08:53.780 And I think we're going to be learning.
01:08:56.640 I hope so.
01:08:57.460 I mean, I'm clearly a massive fan, as are you.
01:08:59.760 Yeah.
01:09:00.420 Great guy.
01:09:01.160 But yeah, you just wonder, is there sometimes, is there a little ulterior motive somewhere in that man, you know?
01:09:05.760 He likes to rabble rouse, you know? 1.00
01:09:09.040 He likes the fucking smoke, boy. 1.00
01:09:11.340 Yeah, he does. 1.00
01:09:12.060 I mean, he's a fun guy.
01:09:13.600 I love him.
01:09:14.220 I love being with him.
01:09:14.980 I love hanging out with him.
01:09:15.980 I'm still kind of scared of him, but I love him.
01:09:19.520 Yeah.
01:09:20.240 He's an alarming guy.
01:09:22.800 Great guy.
01:09:24.160 Very interesting.
01:09:25.080 Yeah, I went.
01:09:28.640 He came to a show in Florida not long ago.
01:09:30.400 I had a show in Florida, and he came out.
01:09:33.740 Him.
01:09:36.400 And he was pretty lit.
01:09:39.080 And we went to the casino, and he's gambling.
01:09:41.400 I gambled with him in Lake Tahoe last year at that golf tournament out there.
01:09:45.520 Yeah.
01:09:45.960 He's a, when Caleb, it's not, me and him are in different stages of life.
01:09:49.640 He's, he's, I think he just turned 30.
01:09:52.140 He doesn't drink as much, hang out as much.
01:09:54.180 But, like, I like to, I like to go out whenever we're traveling.
01:09:56.940 It's just, I'm like, I'm traveling.
01:09:58.160 I don't know if I'm in a Tuesday in LA.
01:09:59.660 Why not go out?
01:10:00.440 Why not?
01:10:00.640 You go out.
01:10:01.100 Yeah.
01:10:01.760 I get messages all the time.
01:10:03.420 You and I are not, and we're not super close.
01:10:04.860 You know, we've kind of gotten to know each other a little bit.
01:10:05.680 Yeah, we've met each other a few times, but.
01:10:06.760 Yeah.
01:10:06.980 And I'm glad we're getting to spend time today, and, but I'll get messages like,
01:10:11.400 Glenny Balls is in town.
01:10:13.000 Yeah, I like to go out.
01:10:14.040 I like, I like to, I like to enjoy, I like to enjoy the cities that I travel,
01:10:17.440 that I'm lucky enough to travel to for work.
01:10:19.020 So, but I would say maybe once every few trips, I'll get Caleb out with me.
01:10:23.060 And when, as you know, when he's out and having fun, he's just the most fun,
01:10:26.780 funniest person to enjoy.
01:10:28.800 And that whole time we were in Lake Tahoe, he just, he was just having a great time.
01:10:31.940 And he was, he's just so much, I love him.
01:10:33.680 He's just so much fun.
01:10:34.640 Yeah.
01:10:34.840 He's a creator, man.
01:10:36.020 I was kind of joking.
01:10:36.800 And he's a creator.
01:10:38.300 He like, well, I mean, he got all, he got, he was pretty fire.
01:10:41.460 He was pretty lit, right?
01:10:42.600 So he's pretty lit.
01:10:43.540 And he starts bragging to everybody that he went to Wells Fargo earlier, right?
01:10:48.380 He starts saying it like it's a, like he went to like some fancy place,
01:10:52.440 like C's Candy or something, you know?
01:10:54.120 He's like.
01:10:54.740 Yeah, he gets, he makes a new bit every time he gets drunk, pretty much.
01:10:57.040 Yeah, he's like, I was at Wells Fargo this afternoon.
01:10:59.880 He keeps, you know, he's like, oh, I got some size 10s from Wells Fargo.
01:11:04.600 I'm picturing him saying it exactly.
01:11:06.220 So he got, I guess, $2,000 out of his bank account.
01:11:09.480 At this point, he's up $20,000, right?
01:11:12.940 Yeah.
01:11:13.600 I haven't bet a bit.
01:11:15.920 Dustin Poirier's there.
01:11:17.840 Mitchell Trubisky.
01:11:19.260 Cole Holcomb.
01:11:20.120 Some of his, Caleb's close friends.
01:11:22.000 Yeah.
01:11:22.160 Some of my close friends sitting there doing a little bit of gambling and Caleb's like,
01:11:29.500 he just wants to bet it all.
01:11:31.000 He wants to lose it all.
01:11:32.500 He's trying to buy a car for the lady that's working there. 0.99
01:11:35.580 He wants, he wants them to send a fucking Kia dealer to the table. 0.99
01:11:40.720 Like you're at a certain point. 0.99
01:11:42.940 You're just like, what is going on?
01:11:44.280 It just, it's unbelievable.
01:11:45.580 And if you tell him to cash out, he will not.
01:11:47.480 No, he's the best.
01:11:48.500 He's the best.
01:11:48.900 I mean, we were, I like Tao too.
01:11:50.500 We were there like that, that tournament in the high roller room for, I think four nights
01:11:54.140 in a row.
01:11:54.440 Cause that's where everybody was hanging out.
01:11:55.860 And there was one night we lost him.
01:11:57.640 I lost him until 3am.
01:11:58.540 I couldn't find him.
01:11:59.220 I hadn't known where his phone was.
01:12:00.400 I finally found him eating chili with Kevin from the office at the bar, like two blocks
01:12:05.120 away.
01:12:05.860 I really was looking for him for two hours and I found him with Kevin from the office eating
01:12:09.600 chili, which is like, once again, it's like playing basketball with Michael Jordan eating 0.95
01:12:13.080 chili with Kevin from the office.
01:12:14.540 But yeah, he's just, he's, he's a raucous time when you go and you get him going.
01:12:18.340 Yeah.
01:12:18.700 You never, he, he is like an ingredient where it's like, okay, they're like, you can put this
01:12:23.040 ingredient in the recipe.
01:12:24.020 And like, what are you like?
01:12:24.860 What is the ingredient?
01:12:25.560 And they're like, we don't know what the ingredient is.
01:12:27.900 And I know whenever I get it, I'm so excited to savor it.
01:12:31.300 Yeah.
01:12:31.640 Like even when I, the few times I've been in the same city as him was like, he just, I
01:12:35.140 was living in Nashville and he, and I go to Nashville a lot.
01:12:37.480 So I would like, whenever I go, I'd feel weird not texting him.
01:12:39.900 I'll throw him a text.
01:12:41.220 Usually it just doesn't answer it, which is fine.
01:12:42.940 Yeah.
01:12:43.180 That's who he is.
01:12:43.880 But, um, like this weekend too, he's back in Florida.
01:12:46.720 I'm going to Delray this weekend.
01:12:48.060 I told him before when we were getting to the shoot last night, I was like, Hey, I'll be in
01:12:50.440 Delray this weekend.
01:12:50.980 If you want to grab lunch or anything, probably won't see him, but it's all right.
01:12:54.020 I don't mind.
01:12:54.720 I'm with my friends anyway.
01:12:55.900 Right.
01:12:56.120 You touch base.
01:12:58.080 Yeah.
01:12:58.240 I just want to make sure, Hey, if you want to hang out, I'll hang out.
01:13:00.560 But like, I'm not confident we'll get him out for a night this weekend.
01:13:03.000 But if we did, I would be thrilled.
01:13:04.560 He's just one of those, he's one of those guys.
01:13:06.320 You see him at a party.
01:13:07.080 You just grab, you grab a take to him.
01:13:08.780 Yeah.
01:13:09.080 There's something that's a wonderful about, there is something that's very wonderful about
01:13:12.560 him.
01:13:13.220 Um, and people like him, of course.
01:13:16.480 And so many people like him that it also makes you be like, Oh, there is something definitely,
01:13:21.040 uh, I don't know if that it's not that.
01:13:24.280 You do it.
01:13:24.700 Cause everybody else, but everybody likes him, you know, some people just have that
01:13:28.480 quality.
01:13:28.960 Yeah.
01:13:29.280 That everybody just likes.
01:13:30.480 Yeah.
01:13:30.860 He's just radiant.
01:13:31.860 Yeah.
01:13:32.180 He got to great quality, man.
01:13:33.580 He got to great quality. 0.99
01:13:34.440 I think one of my favorite, okay, actually this is a kind of a stupid, that's not even 0.80
01:13:37.500 funny, but it's one of my favorite things that we've done is he kind of has like a Sunday 0.93
01:13:40.900 conversation uniform, the white shirt, bow tie, hair down that same day we were on that
01:13:46.540 Southwest flight.
01:13:47.160 We just finished a shoot with Amelia de Moldenborg.
01:13:49.320 And then we just went to the bar and drank all day and then flew to Reno to go to Tahoe.
01:13:53.020 And just seeing the few Sunday conversation fans at the airport on the plane, seeing
01:13:57.540 him in his Sunday, he didn't take it off.
01:13:59.860 He didn't change.
01:14:00.680 It was like seeing Clark Kent dressed as Superman.
01:14:03.160 Like just seeing Caleb kind of drug roaming down the aisle in his Sunday conversation
01:14:06.520 full outfit was so funny to see the people's reactions. 0.99
01:14:11.480 He's there just some days he just didn't give a fuck. 0.99
01:14:12.960 And that was just one of the days. 0.99
01:14:13.700 It was great.
01:14:14.400 It is kind of weird, like being like a talking head in a way, like, which all of us kind
01:14:19.080 of are.
01:14:19.520 A lot of us kind of are on social media because that's kind of what you see.
01:14:23.200 And then people see you in real life and people always comment on, I thought you were
01:14:27.640 smaller.
01:14:28.060 I thought you were taller.
01:14:28.920 I thought you, you know, we're in a wheelchair like people always have like 1.00
01:14:32.740 different, you know, they, they never get to, it's the first time I've ever seen
01:14:37.280 you, you know, or they're like, what are you doing?
01:14:39.060 Are you interviewing someone here?
01:14:40.080 And you're like, I'm at an aunt ands.
01:14:42.080 Yes.
01:14:42.740 I'm having a, I'm not, you know, there's nobody, you know, I'm just relaxed.
01:14:46.140 My, my main ones I just get is what always wears Caleb.
01:14:48.480 Yeah.
01:14:48.700 I got a lot of wears Caleb.
01:14:49.740 Yeah.
01:14:50.000 Which I, I, now I'm just, I just say he's like, he's over there.
01:14:52.440 He's going to drink at the other end of the bar.
01:14:53.600 I'll just say he's here.
01:14:54.960 And, uh, and then my other show I do, I interview only fans model.
01:14:58.000 So I pretty much 99% of the questions I get now and I'm at a bar is between me
01:15:02.700 and you.
01:15:03.140 Yeah. 1.00
01:15:03.500 You fucking those chicks. 1.00
01:15:04.500 Right. 1.00
01:15:05.280 Presley or puss. 0.97
01:15:07.100 I like Presley. 1.00
01:15:08.140 I like Pussy. 1.00
01:15:09.480 Well, and I, yeah, we don't even say, we don't even say, uh, here, I'll point at you. 1.00
01:15:15.540 You say it, right?
01:15:15.900 We don't even say. 1.00
01:15:17.660 Pussy? 1.00
01:15:18.420 I don't hear that much. 1.00
01:15:19.300 Yeah.
01:15:19.540 I'm sorry.
01:15:19.940 It's okay.
01:15:21.240 It's okay.
01:15:21.480 Um, so get it.
01:15:23.860 So let's get through.
01:15:24.900 Cause yeah, I know you have a show now that is very sexually involved.
01:15:28.500 It's very, it's, it's in the sexual world, right?
01:15:31.780 Yes.
01:15:32.060 It's in the industry.
01:15:33.220 It's in the industry.
01:15:33.520 As the folks say in the industry.
01:15:35.140 So I want to see how do we get there?
01:15:36.940 So what is sex been like in your life up to this point?
01:15:39.620 You're in college.
01:15:40.560 You're not really digging it.
01:15:41.980 Uh, then you get the job at Barstool.
01:15:43.980 Where does sex kind of play? 0.96
01:15:45.400 And have you been watching pornography growing up?
01:15:48.060 Have you been like, um, were you exposed to some type of violent, you know, drawings 0.99
01:15:53.980 of people fucking what happened? 0.98
01:15:56.880 Um, you know, I've always, I've always been a horny guy. 0.99
01:15:58.800 I'd say like one of my favorite stories, my mom always tells, she tells everybody that
01:16:02.280 she does everybody that growing up, she'd always just tell the story that she fell asleep
01:16:05.720 one day when I was about three, four years old, we watched Titanic.
01:16:08.360 She woke up and I was just rewinding that scene.
01:16:12.400 That's what she always says.
01:16:13.560 I don't remember.
01:16:14.380 Cause I was three or four years old, but she always says it.
01:16:16.760 And I, I don't think she's a lion lady. 0.99
01:16:18.700 And what's also a grown woman watches that with a four year old?
01:16:22.460 Seriously. 0.99
01:16:22.880 I think she just wanted to watch fucking Jack and Rose fight over that door. 1.00
01:16:25.920 But I mean, I was there for it. 0.99
01:16:27.300 I just, I was just attracted to it.
01:16:28.780 Like there's a photo I have of me.
01:16:29.800 I got to send to you guys.
01:16:30.800 You want to put up your money, put it out.
01:16:32.100 It's like, there's just a picture of me in Vegas when I'm maybe 10 years old. 0.99
01:16:36.440 And there's just a big pair of fucking like ceramic tits behind me more on like a fat 1.00
01:16:41.640 Tony's yacht shirt. 1.00
01:16:42.540 I've just always enjoyed it.
01:16:43.660 I've, my, my dad's called me going through the playboys in the attic before.
01:16:47.340 Oh yeah.
01:16:47.740 Yeah.
01:16:47.980 I mean, those are all, that was not only are those awesome just cause there's like full
01:16:50.880 bushes and naked women in there. 1.00
01:16:53.740 Just seeing the ads and all the playboys are awesome. 0.99
01:16:55.760 Yeah.
01:16:56.080 It's cool.
01:16:56.880 It's not like, it's always a guy smoking or something.
01:16:58.960 It's a nice drawing of a car in the background.
01:17:01.280 It's never like that.
01:17:01.880 It's all cigarette ads.
01:17:03.320 Yeah.
01:17:03.460 It is all cigarette ads.
01:17:04.520 Yeah.
01:17:04.760 It's just, it's just cigarette ads.
01:17:06.860 And then like, here's her, here's her interview with rising Steve jobs.
01:17:09.540 And one of them I have.
01:17:10.540 Yeah.
01:17:11.200 It's really, really cool.
01:17:12.180 The ads are awesome.
01:17:12.860 But, um, yeah.
01:17:13.720 And then I think the show just led me to, um, I've never been absurdly into porn, but now
01:17:19.620 if you're climbing up a ladder, now here's, so you went up into the attic to look at it.
01:17:22.860 Yes, sir.
01:17:23.280 So there is something now, cause I used to bike about five miles, right?
01:17:27.780 I'd go to my friend's house and his daddy had a little bit of pornography hidden in the, uh, in the toilet, in the bathroom. 0.99
01:17:35.560 So I'd get in there and I'd lock myself in there and I'd be in there for like 40 minutes on a Sunday morning at their house.
01:17:41.980 And it was like, going to church.
01:17:43.460 Yeah. 0.99
01:17:43.840 The only person taking like a 40 minute shit at that point was somebody who had like Ebola or somebody who had like, you know, some disease you got in the war. 0.99
01:17:52.760 Taco Bell. 0.99
01:17:53.280 Yeah.
01:17:53.840 Yeah.
01:17:54.740 Something heavy.
01:17:55.580 Yeah. 0.86
01:17:56.460 So I was, you know, at some point they knew I was in there jerking off, you know? 0.97
01:18:02.020 Um, but I, I noticed at that point, looking back, I would bike five miles on a Sunday morning to masturbate at someone's house that I didn't know that well. 0.98
01:18:10.740 I think that's well worth it.
01:18:11.740 Honestly, I mean, I grew up in an age, luckily enough, where we didn't always have the internet.
01:18:15.580 Like we had our phones. 0.55
01:18:16.700 I think the first time I jerked off, first time I came, I didn't even think I jerked off.
01:18:19.640 I think it just happened naturally. 0.92
01:18:20.960 Oh, wow. 0.96
01:18:21.600 So I'll always remember, which kind of sucks.
01:18:23.660 There wasn't even a face involved. 0.93
01:18:24.840 It was, um, remember that movie, Sex Drive?
01:18:27.840 Let's pull it up.
01:18:28.500 It was the unrated movie, Sex Drive.
01:18:30.740 And the actress at the end was Katrina Bowden, wonderful actress, but she didn't go topless in the movie. 1.00
01:18:36.180 So they literally panned down to like a decoy pair of tits. 1.00
01:18:38.940 And that's the first thing I ever came to. 1.00
01:18:40.660 So you came to fake tits? 1.00
01:18:41.700 I came to just, unless, unless, unless, no, they're real, just not even Katrina Bowden. 0.99
01:18:45.860 So it was just an unnamed pair of tits. 1.00
01:18:47.800 I don't know who the first tit I came to was. 0.94
01:18:50.100 If, if you look on the IMDB of the movie, will it let you know?
01:18:53.440 Maybe.
01:18:53.740 I've never done it.
01:18:54.820 I might look at that later.
01:18:56.380 Yeah. 0.99
01:18:56.700 Cause there was, they like show her face and then she takes her top off and it's, uh, unknown pair of tits. 1.00
01:19:03.120 Sex Drive. 1.00
01:19:03.860 Great movie though.
01:19:04.940 Zach can look that up.
01:19:05.740 Oh, you know who's in there?
01:19:06.660 My, uh.
01:19:07.180 Seth Green is in it.
01:19:08.260 Yep.
01:19:08.600 And also Clark Duke, who I love.
01:19:10.320 Yes.
01:19:11.080 Very funny dude. 0.98
01:19:12.940 Um, Zach can look that up in the background and see if those tits, if he's. 1.00
01:19:16.400 Yeah. 0.99
01:19:16.600 It should be Katrina Bowden's tits in the unrated version. 1.00
01:19:19.180 Yeah. 0.99
01:19:19.420 That was always a fun thing.
01:19:20.460 The unrated versions.
01:19:21.780 Yeah.
01:19:22.160 It was something that came out.
01:19:23.140 You know, I remember looking, uh, I remember being, uh,
01:19:26.700 um, finding some pornography and a liquor at the same time.
01:19:32.260 And I was drinking and looking at it and I didn't know what was going on.
01:19:35.560 And I was on the top of a shelving unit and then, uh, ejaculated and, uh, fell down to the ground, just blacked out.
01:19:42.640 It was just overdrive.
01:19:44.080 Very worst things to happen.
01:19:45.060 Honestly, it was overdrive.
01:19:46.340 That sounds awesome.
01:19:47.280 God, it was good.
01:19:48.000 That sounds like a home run.
01:19:49.380 But then there's something after that where it's like everything kind of changes, you know, you just feel like some, you know, 0.92
01:19:55.200 then you start to just abuse yourself to get semen out of you. 0.94
01:19:59.260 Yeah. 0.99
01:20:00.040 Yeah.
01:20:00.540 I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say, and sugarcoat it there.
01:20:03.040 When, once I figured out what was happening there, it happens a lot. 0.99
01:20:07.280 Like a, like a goddamn professional ball player. 0.99
01:20:09.920 God. 1.00
01:20:10.540 It's the best.
01:20:11.240 Then iPhones, iPods, infinite, infinite.
01:20:15.960 I can only imagine, like you were saying growing up, you, and me too.
01:20:19.900 I was looking at the magazines. 0.85
01:20:21.080 Mine probably, I would say my main source of tits though, growing up was like unrated American Pie movies. 1.00
01:20:26.560 Yeah. 0.96
01:20:27.040 I would say, you ever see American Pie, Beta House? 0.95
01:20:29.040 Mm-mm. 1.00
01:20:29.900 A lot of tits in it. 1.00
01:20:30.560 Dude, the amount of, that, I would, I would venture to guess that has the most topless, um, women in a movie ever. 1.00
01:20:37.800 It's an astonishing amount of tits in this movie. 1.00
01:20:40.300 Mm-mm. 1.00
01:20:40.940 Astonishing.
01:20:42.120 I, I, I've seen this more times than I've seen Forrest Gump.
01:20:45.100 So, yeah.
01:20:46.420 You think you've been to church more or seen this more?
01:20:50.540 Dude, I, I don't go to church that often.
01:20:53.300 But you had to go growing up.
01:20:54.940 We would go occasionally.
01:20:56.360 We would go occasionally.
01:20:57.760 I would maybe go every, maybe a few times a year, maybe 10 times a year.
01:21:02.040 But I really hadn't gone, depends actually my high school, we would go to church for school.
01:21:07.680 But it would be in the basketball court.
01:21:10.200 Yeah.
01:21:10.480 And the pastor would come in.
01:21:11.400 Does that count as going to church?
01:21:12.260 I don't know.
01:21:13.120 We had assembly sometime.
01:21:14.580 We had this beautiful, um, Miss McManus.
01:21:17.780 I think she was our principal or, I don't know. 0.92
01:21:20.240 Or she could have just been like a real angry lesbian that was at the school. 1.00
01:21:23.320 I didn't, you know, you didn't know sometimes, you know? 0.95
01:21:25.480 Mm-hmm.
01:21:25.620 And, um, but she, they would always have that assembly, you know?
01:21:32.200 And it was like, we're having an assembly, you know?
01:21:34.520 And it would be like, and it was always like kids were urinating on the, they had like the
01:21:39.500 heaters and the, like the old heaters.
01:21:41.780 It was, it was an old building from like the 1930s that we all went to middle school in.
01:21:46.580 And they had, people were pissing on the heaters and it would steam up the whole bathroom.
01:21:51.400 So then people would play like Ghost Baby and stuff like that. 0.97
01:21:54.940 And things like, you know, and, uh, Planet of the Apes, all that shit in the bathroom because 0.99
01:21:59.500 it was all just piss steam, you know? 0.99
01:22:01.640 Oh, dude.
01:22:02.240 So she had to have a meeting and say, no more pissing on the things, you know?
01:22:06.520 And, um, but it was crazy telling children that because kids were in there just.
01:22:10.940 And that'll make, probably want to make them do more.
01:22:12.600 Sounds like a lose-lose for everybody though.
01:22:14.280 The second you heard about it, if you weren't doing it, you're like, we gotta go do it.
01:22:18.280 Fight or fight.
01:22:18.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:22:19.680 And we had a janitor, this dude, Mr. Larry, and he would piss over you into the fucking 0.99
01:22:23.900 urine while you were in there. 1.00
01:22:25.020 He was like the BJ Armstrong of piss. 0.68
01:22:27.040 Yeah. 0.99
01:22:27.240 This guy was, it was unreal, bro, how he could fucking hit it every time. 0.98
01:22:32.140 Right over your body. 0.96
01:22:33.060 Like, you could literally look up and see it going over you like the, um, what's that
01:22:37.320 thing in St. Louis?
01:22:38.480 The, um.
01:22:38.660 The Golden Arch.
01:22:39.440 The Golden Arch, yeah.
01:22:40.380 Yes, sir.
01:22:41.520 So you were under this man as he was peeing?
01:22:43.100 He would pee from behind you.
01:22:45.260 It was like a secret.
01:22:46.000 What? 0.99
01:22:46.440 It was like a, yeah, he was like a fucking savant or whatever, you know? 0.99
01:22:50.660 A giant? 0.99
01:22:51.820 No, he wasn't a giant.
01:22:53.180 I mean, he was a giant to us.
01:22:54.360 We were in fifth or sixth grade, but he was probably, I bet, 5'9".
01:22:57.520 Interesting.
01:22:58.100 Black, though.
01:22:58.860 Mm-hmm.
01:22:59.240 So he had that, you know.
01:23:00.560 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:23:01.020 He had that damn, uh. 1.00
01:23:02.320 We were well-endowed. 0.99
01:23:03.560 So get us, so, all right, so you're cruising through life, you're at, now, did you finally,
01:23:09.480 did you get to sex before you got to, uh, Barstool?
01:23:15.400 I did not. 0.82
01:23:16.080 Wow.
01:23:16.460 I'll tell you that.
01:23:17.060 I'll, I'll, I'll say it.
01:23:17.820 I don't, I don't mind.
01:23:18.560 I mean.
01:23:18.860 Yeah, look, I mean, look, we all have.
01:23:19.960 I'm doing fine now, so I don't really mind talking about it.
01:23:22.560 Yeah, look, I mean.
01:23:23.500 I wouldn't, I always, I wouldn't say I'm like, I wasn't saying I was popular per se, but like,
01:23:26.760 my friends were like normal, like normal kids, they always had fun, like I said, still best
01:23:30.140 friends with all of them, we're great guys.
01:23:31.580 But, um, yeah, never, never dabbled in.
01:23:34.280 Yeah, it's all right.
01:23:35.260 And so were you nervous that, I mean, dude, I remember, I mean, I, yeah, I would, it was
01:23:41.440 always so nerve wracking to me.
01:23:42.780 Were you nervous when you got in, when you, when you, did you know it was going to happen?
01:23:47.080 Was it like a, all right, this is it, it's a girl I'm dating, this is a big night?
01:23:51.900 Or was it just kind of like, here it goes?
01:23:53.860 It was a girl I was talking to for a little bit and we had done stuff before that.
01:23:57.080 We hadn't done the, the whole nine.
01:23:59.100 I think it was going to go to a good concert.
01:24:01.640 So, um.
01:24:02.380 What concert, do you remember?
01:24:04.100 People are going to, uh, it was Billy Joel and he's my favorite artist ever actually.
01:24:07.880 So that's a nice, uh.
01:24:09.320 Bro, if you could make love to a woman after Billy Joel.
01:24:13.760 What's better than that?
01:24:15.240 Nothing.
01:24:16.260 Literally nothing.
01:24:17.380 Yeah, it's really good.
01:24:18.300 Yeah, it was a Billy Joel concert.
01:24:19.560 It's so rare, I feel like.
01:24:21.000 Dude, yeah, it feels like it's, I'm in the 80s.
01:24:23.760 So I, I mean, it was, it's a cool story.
01:24:25.380 It was like Billy Joel concert.
01:24:26.860 It was beautiful.
01:24:27.440 I mean, what, I actually never said that.
01:24:29.480 So it was a Billy Joel concert.
01:24:30.460 And everyone, a lot of people, if you, if you know me remotely, you know, I love Billy Joel.
01:24:34.340 Yeah, who doesn't?
01:24:35.180 Maybe now people, maybe now people know why.
01:24:37.800 God. 0.98
01:24:38.240 Seeds from an insane restaurant and some sex. 0.99
01:24:39.860 It's a good duo. 0.99
01:24:41.340 And did you go back home?
01:24:42.820 Did you go to a hotel or motel?
01:24:45.840 No, it was at her apartment.
01:24:47.500 Yeah.
01:24:47.900 God.
01:24:48.300 God.
01:24:49.200 Now you're venturing in enemy territory. 0.97
01:24:51.220 I'm wondering, was it more fun to have sex on home turf or on away turf? 0.76
01:24:56.180 I'm an away game guy. 0.91
01:24:57.660 I love away games.
01:24:58.260 Really?
01:24:58.540 I love away games.
01:24:59.980 I mean, me and Caleb also travel a lot.
01:25:02.120 That's a good point.
01:25:03.400 I'm a big fan of away games.
01:25:04.740 I mean, I love sex, but I just, I enjoy it.
01:25:06.900 Like I've said this many times on OnlyStands.
01:25:08.960 Like I just enjoy, I enjoy the chase of it a lot.
01:25:11.180 So I love doing the away game stuff.
01:25:12.960 Yeah.
01:25:13.620 And I'm not going to lie to you.
01:25:14.800 Every time I go to bars at home, I don't get like the same vibe with women. 1.00
01:25:19.920 I just don't talk to women the same. 1.00
01:25:21.200 I don't know why.
01:25:22.760 I feel like they like me less.
01:25:24.900 There's something about an away game.
01:25:26.220 There's just the allure of an away game.
01:25:27.740 Well, yeah, they can get you at the store.
01:25:29.880 They can get you at the local store because you're there.
01:25:31.960 Yeah, 100%.
01:25:33.120 But when you're just passing through town, when you're like, you're a, you're a commodity.
01:25:38.380 You're, you know, you're like when the train would come through and had like ribeyes on 0.94
01:25:42.600 it, you know, and you got a bunch of brothers just beating the shit out of each other.
01:25:46.060 They're trying to get to a real, because you, you know, but if you grow up right next
01:25:49.880 to ribeye factory, plus.
01:25:52.120 Right next to Peter Luger's, it's not going to be the same.
01:25:54.240 So yeah, I mean, definitely an away game guy.
01:25:56.020 There's no doubt about it.
01:25:57.680 And when you walked out of that place, you make love to the woman. 0.97
01:26:00.360 And when you leave there, does things feel different?
01:26:04.820 I'm trying to take myself back to that moment.
01:26:06.080 It felt pretty damn good.
01:26:07.140 I barely remember.
01:26:08.000 I actually got a text from my buddy that said his manager at one of his, at the firm he
01:26:12.760 works for in the city, just said, I saw Glennie walking down the street looking absolutely
01:26:16.040 disheveled. 0.89
01:26:17.620 And I said, yeah, it makes fucking sense, dude. 0.97
01:26:20.160 Makes absolute sense. 0.98
01:26:23.320 Put two and two together.
01:26:24.500 Did you tell your mom after?
01:26:25.960 No.
01:26:26.680 Yeah.
01:26:27.000 I did not.
01:26:28.180 I don't even know if I told my friends, honestly.
01:26:30.360 This is the way they're going to find out.
01:26:33.000 It's just interesting.
01:26:33.960 And I'm trying to remember who I told.
01:26:35.620 I also didn't tell her.
01:26:36.600 So this might be the way she finds out too, if she watches this.
01:26:38.980 That's beautiful, man.
01:26:40.920 Which might be embarrassing.
01:26:42.120 So I haven't talked to her in a while, which would be awkward, but whatever.
01:26:45.380 Dude, I made love behind a Tiffany Lane by, they used to have a bowling alley in our
01:26:49.300 town called Tiffany Lanes over there.
01:26:51.540 Was that outdoors?
01:26:53.340 It was outdoors out back.
01:26:54.580 Wow.
01:26:54.940 I mean, I've still never done the whole public sex type of thing.
01:26:57.940 It was, it was, it was, it was, you know, I was always so, I've always had so, like,
01:27:03.160 it's gotten better now, but I had so much pressure, like, interacting with women. 0.98
01:27:06.520 Yes, sir.
01:27:07.080 That it's like a lot of, like, nerves going on.
01:27:09.860 Oh, 100%.
01:27:10.720 And imagine you're like, imagine somebody's electrocuting you and you still have to play
01:27:15.420 Jenga, you know?
01:27:16.800 Yeah.
01:27:17.380 That's kind of how it is, I think, if you're really nervous and trying to do or get a good 0.96
01:27:21.980 erection. 0.66
01:27:22.400 Yeah, I mean, there's no two ways about it, too.
01:27:23.700 Like, I'll be the first to admit, like, I just said, like, confidence is a lot of, like,
01:27:26.520 as, I guess I've grown more at work and my confidence has risen and now it's fine.
01:27:31.620 Yeah.
01:27:32.020 But a while ago, it was like, it was, I totally get it. 0.97
01:27:34.060 It's fucking scary. 1.00
01:27:35.080 Sex is scary. 1.00
01:27:35.560 Girls are scary. 1.00
01:27:36.320 Especially when you're, once again, I'm no Tom Hanks.
01:27:38.860 Why did I say Tom Hanks?
01:27:39.520 I'm no Tom Cruise.
01:27:40.900 Yeah.
01:27:41.300 Like, it's an intimidating thing for the fellas. 0.94
01:27:44.700 I'm no fucking Lonnie Hanks, you know? 0.97
01:27:47.200 I'm no, you know. 0.98
01:27:48.980 You're in shape, though.
01:27:50.260 The in-shape guy's got to be easy.
01:27:51.480 All you got to do is be in shape.
01:27:52.680 But also, here's one issue.
01:27:54.240 Thicker guys think that just a guy is in shape.
01:27:57.000 Like, dude.
01:27:57.540 Yeah, it's true.
01:27:58.780 To me, you have a six-pack under there.
01:28:01.220 In my world, you might as well be Fabio.
01:28:05.440 Oh, that's hilarious, man.
01:28:07.600 Yeah, dude.
01:28:08.220 There's just, I mean, it's interesting.
01:28:10.640 Once sex is introduced to, and I'm talking a lot about sex today, because I want to, eventually
01:28:14.320 we're going to talk about your show.
01:28:15.660 Yes.
01:28:16.060 And sex is a driving force in a lot of young men's lives.
01:28:19.860 You know, I think about that.
01:28:21.420 It shapes kind of like, once you start to learn about sex, it's interesting because then your
01:28:26.080 interests, like, some of them start to disappear a little bit or dissipate because that takes
01:28:32.280 up like 50% of the brain.
01:28:34.500 Dude, you are a preacher of the choir.
01:28:36.040 God.
01:28:36.380 I cannot tell you.
01:28:37.960 I mean, I remember before I lost said virginity, I would go out with my friends and they would
01:28:41.680 always be, like, trying to get with girls.
01:28:42.760 And I would just tell them, dude, it's like, let's just hang out at the bar, talk a little
01:28:45.120 bit.
01:28:46.900 Now I kind of get it.
01:28:47.840 Yeah.
01:28:49.020 Now I get it.
01:28:50.500 Yeah, dude. 1.00
01:28:51.020 Because, but then also you're like, how's this weaner going to fit in a vagina? 1.00
01:28:54.600 Like, there's so many little things. 0.99
01:28:55.760 If you don't have a role model to tell you about sex, you know?
01:28:58.460 Yeah.
01:28:58.720 Did your dad tell you anything about sex?
01:29:00.220 Not really.
01:29:00.720 No.
01:29:01.180 Kind of just, kind of just won it.
01:29:02.400 Yeah.
01:29:03.860 Oh, man.
01:29:04.840 I mean, I thought it was funny.
01:29:06.740 But you learn from the streets.
01:29:07.580 Otherwise, you learn from the sandwich shoppers.
01:29:09.520 You know what I'm saying?
01:29:09.820 You learn from the, you know, the subway.
01:29:12.040 You learn from the, you know, if we don't learn from a parent or something.
01:29:16.600 Yeah.
01:29:17.160 We had some, we had some, so your dad didn't learn you?
01:29:19.700 No, I kind of just went.
01:29:20.540 I kind of just wung it and wang it.
01:29:22.080 I thought, I was, I don't, I don't know if she knew or not.
01:29:25.140 I don't think she did.
01:29:26.600 So I think that means I passed the test, kind of.
01:29:28.640 Oh, that's a good call.
01:29:29.340 I didn't get it.
01:29:29.900 Is this your first time?
01:29:31.020 Yeah.
01:29:31.620 She actually, the first night I went, I was with her, I may have went downtown and she
01:29:37.620 said that. 0.98
01:29:38.100 She was like, oh, you're fucking good at this. 0.99
01:29:39.280 I said, wow, you know, I appreciate that. 0.99
01:29:40.780 It's one of my first few times.
01:29:42.400 That's cool, man.
01:29:43.260 Yeah.
01:29:44.480 Yeah.
01:29:44.800 It's also nerve wracking, bro, back then.
01:29:47.080 You know, we had some calls a while back about if it would be better if family, if in some
01:29:54.360 tribes, you know, there's tribes in Africa, there's tribes in Europe where they, a older 0.78
01:30:02.420 sibling or a father teaches the child how to masturbate. 0.98
01:30:05.160 Really? 0.99
01:30:05.540 Because then you're learning it.
01:30:07.780 You're learning sex from like a, it's part of a familial thing. 0.88
01:30:10.960 It's not as like this taboo thing that like, you know, you know, uh, little Richard shows
01:30:17.140 you in the woods one day, you know, and he's, you know, coming on a lizard or whatever. 0.89
01:30:20.800 I didn't know masturbation needed to be taught. 0.95
01:30:22.540 I kind of just thought it was pretty primal.
01:30:24.540 But I think you, if you have a sibling that teaches you and takes you through it, or you
01:30:28.540 have a parent that takes you through it, then some, I guess there's some cultures where
01:30:32.920 to believe that that's the way to do it.
01:30:34.360 You know, we've had a lot of callers call in and say, yeah, my brother taught me how
01:30:37.320 to do it.
01:30:38.500 Sure.
01:30:39.240 Which is interesting.
01:30:40.600 It would be, I'm sure, I guess it would have been nice to have a guy, but trust me,
01:30:43.620 I didn't eat one. 0.99
01:30:45.160 I figured out how to jerk off. 0.98
01:30:46.280 Yeah. 0.99
01:30:46.740 Yeah.
01:30:47.320 It was, it was, that first summer was a, it was a tough one. 0.97
01:30:50.720 Would you do any cool tricks with your hands to make it different when you would masturbate 0.98
01:30:54.300 ever? 1.00
01:30:54.500 No, I mean, my left arm sucks, dude. 0.99
01:30:56.480 I can't jerk off. 0.99
01:30:56.880 Really? 0.99
01:30:57.100 I don't think I could jerk off with this thing if I tried. 0.99
01:30:58.800 Oh, wow. 0.99
01:30:59.360 I'm a very right-hand dominant. 0.98
01:31:00.760 Like, even growing up playing baseball sometimes, not that I'm fucking Babe Ruth, but growing 0.92
01:31:04.200 up playing baseball until I was like 14, like, I'm a lefty. 0.94
01:31:07.620 And that's because you're swinging this way, your right hand's coming through, pulling
01:31:10.700 the bat around.
01:31:11.440 I don't know how righties follow through with their left arm.
01:31:14.260 My left arm is so dead. 1.00
01:31:15.500 I don't know why, but this thing is trash. 0.99
01:31:17.220 Yeah. 0.95
01:31:17.620 In my, like, if I had to lose this limb, I wouldn't even mind, really.
01:31:20.320 I'd do nothing with this. 0.99
01:31:21.680 Don't jerk off with it. 1.00
01:31:22.760 Don't eat with it. 0.99
01:31:25.220 God.
01:31:25.960 Yeah.
01:31:26.360 So I'm very right-hand dominant. 0.75
01:31:27.660 So I'm really just focusing on the right-hand jerk off.
01:31:31.120 But don't you ever, it's almost like sometimes when you want to, like, I'll use, like, my
01:31:34.020 language learning app or something.
01:31:35.400 It's like sometimes I'll do the same thing. 0.99
01:31:36.520 I'll masturbate with my left hand. 0.97
01:31:37.640 It's like I just want to, like, give my, you know, you know, to try to be not, like, 0.99
01:31:42.260 artsy, but to try to, like, you know, learn a new language, I guess.
01:31:46.060 I always switch up a category.
01:31:48.160 On pornography?
01:31:49.420 In the realm, in the industry.
01:31:51.360 Oh, yeah.
01:31:51.720 So, well, that kind of brings us to where we are now.
01:31:54.980 So you do, you have a show called Only Stands, right?
01:31:59.100 Yes, sir.
01:31:59.340 Only Stands.
01:31:59.940 So are you kind of like a male, do you consider yourself like a, like a kind of a, like a male,
01:32:06.120 do you consider yourself like a male sex symbol or like a journalist?
01:32:10.340 No, it's funny because I would never consider myself a sex symbol ever because I'm not a
01:32:14.380 sex symbol in the slightest.
01:32:15.460 It would be cool to be considered a sex symbol, though.
01:32:17.100 I feel like you are, though.
01:32:17.880 I feel like you're, because I think of you or I see you now.
01:32:21.380 I mean, I know some of your world and, and I know that you love sports.
01:32:25.940 You work in barstool sports.
01:32:26.900 I know you're involved in that universe, but now I see you around, you know, sexy women 1.00
01:32:31.900 and you guys are, you know, talking about sex. 0.61
01:32:35.560 Yeah, it's been fun.
01:32:36.200 I mean, I definitely would consider myself a journalist.
01:32:37.900 I'm a, I'm a, one of the only few OnlyFans journalists in the world.
01:32:41.720 Try to try to keep the, the journalist interviewee relationship fine.
01:32:47.100 And they always say, I'm a journalist.
01:32:48.460 So I, I enjoy it.
01:32:49.560 It's so much fun.
01:32:50.340 I love, I mean, I love beautiful women. 0.99
01:32:51.660 I love talking to beautiful women. 1.00
01:32:52.640 I think they're very fun to talk to.
01:32:54.000 And the way that most OnlyFans queens are, they like a lot of podcasts, I don't know, 0.98
01:32:59.660 even if they do podcasts, it's rare that they get to just talk about random things.
01:33:03.420 I try to just talk about random things and fun things as much as possible.
01:33:06.020 Yeah.
01:33:06.620 Yeah.
01:33:07.200 And then obviously there's a lot of sex talk because it's fun to just read off. 0.94
01:33:10.260 Hey, you just had a 10 guy blow bang. 0.93
01:33:13.360 Right.
01:33:13.840 And you had Whitney on.
01:33:15.680 Had Whitney on recently.
01:33:16.620 She was amazing.
01:33:17.380 I loved her.
01:33:18.000 She was so cool.
01:33:18.760 She was so funny.
01:33:19.560 She's amazing.
01:33:20.320 She gave me a bee costume one night.
01:33:22.400 What's that mean?
01:33:22.920 I think, I don't know.
01:33:25.000 She, I was at the comedy store and she gave me a beekeepers uniform.
01:33:30.520 Oh really?
01:33:31.360 For no reason.
01:33:32.520 Interesting.
01:33:33.160 Do you still have it?
01:33:34.100 Yeah.
01:33:34.600 Still in my truck.
01:33:35.380 In my truck.
01:33:36.000 I don't know.
01:33:37.460 So I got to give her a buzz and check on her. 0.96
01:33:39.300 But yeah, she was great.
01:33:40.360 She was like the first time I was really like starstruck by somebody.
01:33:42.640 I've been watching roasts since I was 15.
01:33:46.140 So it was very cool.
01:33:47.200 Oh yeah.
01:33:47.880 But you know, yeah.
01:33:48.500 Super cool.
01:33:49.020 When he comes on.
01:33:49.840 And that was.
01:33:50.120 You're talking oven roasts though.
01:33:51.440 Yeah.
01:33:51.760 Sorry.
01:33:52.600 Like then Angela, Angela White.
01:33:55.040 It was great.
01:33:55.580 We just had her on. 0.75
01:33:56.400 She was amazing.
01:33:57.300 And now Angela White.
01:33:58.460 Tell me about her.
01:33:59.220 So you interview a lot of women that do OnlyFans, right?
01:34:02.280 So now that OnlyFans has kind of took over the industry since COVID.
01:34:06.540 COVID had a huge up climb because everyone was inside.
01:34:09.880 She just did OnlyFans. 1.00
01:34:10.860 So now all the porn stars do OnlyFans as well. 1.00
01:34:14.620 And Angela White is like the fucking Ken Griffey Jr. porn. 1.00
01:34:18.940 She's amazing. 1.00
01:34:19.300 Oh really?
01:34:19.560 She's amazing.
01:34:20.880 And so she's on OnlyFans.
01:34:22.800 So we had her on.
01:34:23.680 And she was just.
01:34:25.460 I got drinks with her on Sunday.
01:34:26.540 She is just the nicest.
01:34:28.200 One of my most interesting humans that I've met in my life.
01:34:30.660 She's amazing.
01:34:31.760 Yeah.
01:34:32.060 Like amazing.
01:34:33.400 She's the nicest person I've ever met.
01:34:35.120 We had Whitney on.
01:34:36.540 We had Whitney on.
01:34:37.800 And we talked about how Angela White did a Two Broke Girls porn parody.
01:34:41.780 And Whitney made Two Broke Girls. 1.00
01:34:43.600 So we watched the clip of Angela White.
01:34:46.440 And then like made that into a clip for the show.
01:34:48.820 And Whitney texted me.
01:34:49.720 I said to the clip, she said, it's so funny.
01:34:50.780 But we got to get some of the clips of the show in there.
01:34:53.560 And within a second, I texted Angela White.
01:34:56.200 She immediately responded back.
01:34:57.480 Talked to the producer.
01:34:58.180 Talked to the director.
01:34:58.980 Got it all done in 10 minutes.
01:35:00.280 Wow.
01:35:00.380 She's just a. 1.00
01:35:00.980 She's an angel.
01:35:02.360 Angela White is an angel.
01:35:03.660 You know, it is interesting.
01:35:04.880 A lot of like a lot of strippers. 1.00
01:35:07.360 And pornography women. 1.00
01:35:12.120 Yes, sir. 0.91
01:35:12.860 And men, maybe too.
01:35:13.720 I don't know.
01:35:14.400 I don't ever look at.
01:35:16.320 You know, I'm kind of.
01:35:17.080 I don't look at the wiener when I look at pornography.
01:35:19.580 Ooh, I do.
01:35:20.540 Really? 0.99
01:35:20.860 Like I enjoy a good blowjob porn. 1.00
01:35:22.800 And you look at the wiener? 1.00
01:35:24.060 Or you look at the mouth?
01:35:25.700 I think I look at the mouth going up and down.
01:35:27.220 And the wiener's there.
01:35:28.740 Yeah, but I know if you don't want to see the wiener, your brain won't see it.
01:35:31.620 Yeah, I definitely see it.
01:35:32.740 I definitely see it. 0.99
01:35:33.280 I enjoy blowjob porn. 0.99
01:35:34.840 I mean, but there's a lot of. 0.99
01:35:36.260 There's a lot of different porns out there. 0.97
01:35:37.520 My personal favorite is bachelorette party porn. 0.95
01:35:39.620 Oh, yeah? 0.99
01:35:40.340 Yeah.
01:35:40.700 You ever watch Dancing Bear?
01:35:42.520 Dude, Dancing Bear is his company.
01:35:43.860 I don't know what.
01:35:44.280 I don't know if they're even still in business.
01:35:46.140 But it'll just be these 25 horny housewives on a bachelorette party. 1.00
01:35:51.260 The Dancing Bear rolls in. 0.93
01:35:52.160 It's a male stripper with a huge bear mask on.
01:35:54.200 And he just roams around and they all blow.
01:35:55.900 Oh, wow.
01:35:56.700 Yeah, I don't know why.
01:35:57.480 I think the idea of a housewife doing that is kind of erotic to me.
01:36:00.540 That's why I like that.
01:36:01.140 Oh, it's like the new age door-to-door salesman kind of.
01:36:03.200 Kind of.
01:36:03.860 Yeah.
01:36:04.200 And then there's her being intrigued by that.
01:36:05.780 Willie Bloman kind of.
01:36:07.060 Ooh, Willie Bloman. 1.00
01:36:07.860 What a fucking pawn that is. 1.00
01:36:10.140 Is that Death of a Salesman? 1.00
01:36:12.000 I think it was, huh?
01:36:13.060 Yeah.
01:36:13.400 Yeah.
01:36:13.560 So now when you, but now tell me this.
01:36:15.800 So how does that start to influence your sex world?
01:36:17.980 Because look, I try to stay off of pornography, right?
01:36:20.540 Yes, sir.
01:36:20.800 I respect it.
01:36:21.640 I've seen it all.
01:36:23.400 I know what they're doing.
01:36:25.760 I, but my problem is I start to then think of sex only in like the frames and the things
01:36:31.260 you see on pornography, right?
01:36:33.120 Yeah.
01:36:33.680 So it's like, I'll think of like, and I notice this even like with a lot of women now, it's 1.00
01:36:39.380 like you hook up and it's just like little things, it's almost like you just go through
01:36:43.740 these vignettes that are in pornography.
01:36:46.140 It doesn't even feel like a lot about like physical touch anymore.
01:36:49.260 100%.
01:36:49.540 And a lot of guests have said that, that porn makes people delusional about how sex actually
01:36:54.000 is. 0.89
01:36:54.540 Not every time you're having sex, there's a girl going to be screaming at the top of her 1.00
01:36:57.040 lungs.
01:36:57.340 That's just not going to happen.
01:36:58.340 Yeah.
01:36:58.600 So they always say stuff like that, but me.
01:37:00.560 Oh, a lot of times if you're having sex, there's a girl's not even going to be screaming 1.00
01:37:02.540 at the top of a low murmur.
01:37:03.860 Or saying anything.
01:37:05.120 I'm talking like this.
01:37:05.800 Oh, yeah. 0.84
01:37:06.700 Oh, I'm the, dude, during sex, I am the silent.
01:37:09.380 I was saying that too on an episode a few months ago. 0.76
01:37:12.860 Some girls were talking about what you should do when you're getting a head or something. 1.00
01:37:16.060 I said, I don't really, I don't say anything.
01:37:18.280 I say yeah sometimes or I'll say.
01:37:20.080 Yeah. 1.00
01:37:20.380 One of the girls was saying like, just be like, oh, you're a good little slut, pat her head. 1.00
01:37:24.960 I'm like, I'm not fucking saying that shit, dude. 1.00
01:37:27.620 It's crazy. 1.00
01:37:28.640 It's crazy.
01:37:29.240 So I just like to stay quiet.
01:37:31.240 Yeah.
01:37:31.420 I think I would, yeah, I would say, yeah.
01:37:33.200 I would say, oh, we got to get out of here.
01:37:38.400 Sometimes I'll say stuff like that.
01:37:39.880 I think I, a lot of times feel like I'm about to get caught. 0.83
01:37:44.740 So, and I think that comes from having had sex outdoors. 0.96
01:37:47.240 I think that comes from, you know, I got a B, you know, I got BJ'd behind a thin tree 0.97
01:37:53.680 when I was young.
01:37:54.460 So people could see the sides, but not the actual eye.
01:37:57.140 It wasn't a Redwoods.
01:37:57.980 It was tiny.
01:37:58.800 Oh yeah.
01:37:59.580 Oh, cool.
01:38:00.120 I mean, it was, um. 0.98
01:38:01.420 So you were doing some public sex, dude. 0.84
01:38:03.140 Just the way it happened. 0.67
01:38:04.480 You know, I know I didn't have a place where somebody really could come over to my place
01:38:07.820 and, uh, a lot of poor people, you know, the early sex is outdoors.
01:38:13.460 Interesting.
01:38:14.220 But yeah, I totally get it.
01:38:15.460 I think I'm sure a lot of people, there's a many, many, many outdoor videos on OnlyFans.
01:38:19.880 People definitely enjoy the thrill of being outdoor, I guess.
01:38:22.280 And I guess viewers enjoy the thrill of, is this person going to get caught?
01:38:25.580 That's a huge thing.
01:38:26.760 Have you seen the compilation of bee stings during outdoor porn?
01:38:30.180 I have not, but maybe that's a correlation of why Wendy Cummings got you a bee costume.
01:38:34.380 Ooh.
01:38:34.920 How about that?
01:38:35.380 It could be, huh?
01:38:35.980 Full circle.
01:38:36.840 I love that.
01:38:38.480 Um, so has that, but is that hard though?
01:38:41.620 Because if you're a guy who grew up with not a ton of sex, right?
01:38:44.500 Yes, sir.
01:38:45.300 You know, cause a lot, which is most guys, you know, I mean, I had one sex person, uh, two
01:38:51.320 sex persons, women's until high, uh, college, right? 0.99
01:38:55.780 Yeah. 1.00
01:38:55.920 If you had a bunch of, if you had a lot of sex in high school, you're a dickhead. 1.00
01:38:59.500 Oh, you're gross, bro. 1.00
01:39:00.980 You're a rapist. 1.00
01:39:02.560 Douche. 1.00
01:39:03.240 I think, right? 0.99
01:39:04.180 Like if you had a lot of sex in high school, dude. 1.00
01:39:06.040 You're a loser. 1.00
01:39:07.100 Yeah. 1.00
01:39:07.840 Dude, if you got chicks in high school, dork. 1.00
01:39:10.540 Yeah. 1.00
01:39:10.820 You're a sick fuck, homie. 1.00
01:39:12.440 But, um, uh, yeah, no, the show, it's not, that doesn't make it that different for me. 1.00
01:39:16.280 Honestly, if anything, it's, it's, it's, I've noticed that girl, normal girls think I'm 0.95
01:39:21.500 like fucking every guest. 0.98
01:39:22.480 So you have all these hot women on your show and I'm like, we're just doing a podcast. 1.00
01:39:25.640 Like that's really it at the end of the day.
01:39:27.820 But I've had just, uh, you know, I've had women here and when they, I don't, you know,
01:39:33.260 I've had women in any time a woman's around, a lot of times you don't want them to leave. 1.00
01:39:36.480 You know, it's like you get attracted to women. 1.00
01:39:38.640 Is it hard to separate the work?
01:39:40.240 Like, you know, Ooh, yeah, nothing.
01:39:43.440 It depends.
01:39:44.080 Honestly, it depends on the girl.
01:39:45.200 Like there's definitely girls I've had on my show that, that we clearly vibe a little
01:39:48.220 bit.
01:39:48.480 And there's some that, that I haven't.
01:39:50.160 And maybe, maybe some of them will get dinner afterwards.
01:39:52.060 Like me and Angela, I got dinner that night.
01:39:53.700 Uh, a few have gotten drinks with afterwards, but like nothing crazy.
01:39:56.360 Can you legally make love to the world?
01:39:58.160 Or can you legally date them?
01:39:59.320 Is that even a legal thing?
01:40:00.400 I guess you could.
01:40:01.040 I don't see why not.
01:40:01.940 I mean, I, I haven't, wouldn't, I think either way it would be very, it would be unprofessional
01:40:07.080 if I said maybe did it that night of the podcast.
01:40:10.160 Which I never have.
01:40:11.140 But I think, I think that would be, that would be towing a line.
01:40:14.980 I would say maybe if, if let's say I did a podcast and one of them lived in LA and the
01:40:19.200 next month I was in LA and she was like, Oh, let's get drinks. 0.98
01:40:21.720 I would say, and then if we, we five, once again, never happened.
01:40:24.540 Let's like, if that happened, I guess that would be okay.
01:40:26.080 Right.
01:40:26.660 That's two consenting adults.
01:40:28.000 Yeah.
01:40:30.500 Yeah.
01:40:30.780 So not in watching, sometimes you watch the stuff.
01:40:33.060 Like, do you have to watch porn to prepare for your guests then?
01:40:36.780 Like that has to be. 0.83
01:40:38.140 Sometimes because so a lot of, most of my guests, there's like porn girls and only fans girls. 1.00
01:40:43.280 The only, most of them are only fans girls.
01:40:45.380 So not all of them do porn.
01:40:46.620 That's a good point.
01:40:47.420 And that should be stated.
01:40:48.120 Not all of them do porn.
01:40:48.420 Sorry.
01:40:49.020 There's a lot that there's a lot that are just some, some don't even post like their 0.99
01:40:52.400 boobs. 1.00
01:40:53.080 Some literally don't even post boobs and make astronomical amount of money. 0.99
01:40:56.480 So my guests vary from porn, full-blown porn stars like Angela White, two girls that literally 0.93
01:41:00.560 don't even post their boobs to Whitney comics to, who does comedy and only fans. 0.82
01:41:04.060 So it's, it's whatever. 0.93
01:41:05.140 But I mean, if that has got them fricking hammers on her boy. 1.00
01:41:08.500 Yeah. 0.99
01:41:09.280 Well, respect, respect, but, um, she got them fucking tonsils, baby. 1.00
01:41:13.860 Respect. 1.00
01:41:14.300 She, she said it, she knows it.
01:41:15.620 But, um, yeah.
01:41:16.760 So really just depends on the guest.
01:41:18.180 I'll definitely, I'll definitely tune in. 0.95
01:41:19.880 I got to subscribe for science, for research the day of, but how do you just jerking off 0.89
01:41:24.740 and then they come in? 0.97
01:41:25.380 Like, how do you even, I don't jerk off every time I look at it, you know, but it's so hard
01:41:30.240 not to they, the algorithm is set where you're going to skeet at the end, buddy.
01:41:34.080 That's true.
01:41:34.740 But then again, it's also, it depends on what they're posting on their only fans.
01:41:38.060 Not everybody's posting the, the, the peak, the peak of what you want to see.
01:41:42.800 What's your only fans bill every month?
01:41:44.460 Um, I think I subscribed to like 28 accounts, but honestly a lot of them are free.
01:41:49.720 So a lot of girls do free accounts and then they'll charge in the DMs for a whole bunch 1.00
01:41:53.840 of money for the nudity or whatnot.
01:41:55.840 So I don't, I don't, not like I buy everything in the DMs.
01:41:57.900 I would say the bill a month, maybe a hundred, 200 bucks.
01:42:00.500 It really, not many girls do too many, um, high prices. 1.00
01:42:05.640 A lot of free.
01:42:07.020 Wow.
01:42:07.580 And, and I really, I don't buy much content from my guests.
01:42:11.020 I literally just look at it. 0.97
01:42:12.280 Sounds stupid, but journalists. 0.92
01:42:13.640 I'll just look at like when you subscribe to them, the DM that comes up, what they're 0.99
01:42:17.840 offering, how much they're offering stuff for.
01:42:19.960 I've also found like a great way to prepare for the guests is to go through their
01:42:22.840 Twitters.
01:42:23.620 Like they're just, they always tweet fun stuff, TikTok stuff.
01:42:26.080 Yeah.
01:42:26.540 A lot of dating questions.
01:42:27.520 Like talk about dating, but, um, no, actually the porn itself.
01:42:30.300 I don't watch too much of the porn.
01:42:32.640 Hmm.
01:42:32.980 I also, I also do it at work.
01:42:34.420 I feel like I can't want to watch too much porn at work, but then again, it's
01:42:37.460 work, but there's something that feel, if you're watching porn at work, there's
01:42:41.600 something that feels like you are not doing well.
01:42:46.360 Would you agree with that?
01:42:47.880 Yeah.
01:42:48.260 If you're, if you're, if you're tuning into, if you're tuning into, uh, if you're
01:42:50.640 on X hamster at the job site, it's probably not the best.
01:42:53.440 You never want to log at the X hamster from nine to five.
01:42:55.900 Yeah.
01:42:56.260 But yeah, I mean, Hey, it happens.
01:42:57.420 There, there's, there's some porn girls and some only fence girls. 1.00
01:42:59.360 And honestly, they're all great.
01:43:00.980 I'm a massive fan of all of them.
01:43:03.340 Interesting, man.
01:43:03.980 So you, so you're able to separate the work and the sex a hundred percent. 0.99
01:43:08.760 Like a big thing too, is, uh, like the first episode we did, we had this girl, Jeannie
01:43:13.080 X him on and she offered me to be in an only fans video with her.
01:43:16.900 That's what I saw you and Caleb talking about when Caleb was in here last time. 0.93
01:43:19.420 She offered me to be in an only fans video with her, meaning me and her having sex. 0.75
01:43:23.820 And I don't know.
01:43:24.500 I just, there's no, I just, I don't consider it.
01:43:25.660 No, I said no instantly.
01:43:27.000 I just, I don't really see the, I really, first off, I told my mom, I want to make a
01:43:32.000 sex tape ever, which I'll, I'll oblige by. 0.59
01:43:34.500 Okay.
01:43:34.720 And number two, I, like I said earlier, I really don't have a, I want to do a chase. 0.86
01:43:40.140 If you're just offering me sex, I'm not interested. 0.82
01:43:42.380 Kind of. 0.85
01:43:42.720 I want, I want to be able to get it properly.
01:43:46.520 I like the whole idea of that.
01:43:48.120 So there is some romantic, you're romantic kind of in a way.
01:43:50.860 I would say so.
01:43:51.600 Yeah.
01:43:51.780 I want to know I could charm a lady. 1.00
01:43:53.960 Yeah.
01:43:54.420 Like there's, there's times I'll be out of the book.
01:43:55.860 Like there's times I've been at a bar, obviously I'll do whatever, whatever.
01:43:59.640 But when you're at a bar and a girl just says yes to, hey, you want to go back? 0.90
01:44:03.940 That's just as good.
01:44:04.940 Right.
01:44:05.320 That's just as good.
01:44:06.080 Okay.
01:44:06.280 So sometimes that, that, that, that, that'll oblige it.
01:44:10.080 That'll oblige the year.
01:44:11.100 Yeah.
01:44:11.200 It's just fun.
01:44:11.680 I'd be like, oh, she said, yes, we're good here.
01:44:13.400 She said, yeah, I'm happy.
01:44:14.740 I'm happy with it.
01:44:15.420 Right.
01:44:15.900 I should, yeah.
01:44:17.040 But on a regular, but if you have your wits about you and you haven't drank in a day or
01:44:20.520 two and you're thinking to yourself, you know, I'd like to meet a woman.
01:44:24.180 I'd like to, you know, be a man of stature kind of to quote John Mulaney.
01:44:29.780 Yeah.
01:44:30.400 I do.
01:44:30.760 I just love talking to women. 1.00
01:44:32.400 Yeah.
01:44:32.620 I love women. 1.00
01:44:33.460 Well now see, do you think it's increased your ability to speak to women on the regular
01:44:37.420 or do you think it, you still kind of compartmentalize it in one and the other, like your show and
01:44:42.640 then meeting a woman in the wild?
01:44:44.040 I do think I've always, I think I've always been good at talking to women, but I think
01:44:49.560 it was more of in a, in a friend zone type of way.
01:44:53.040 Definitely in a friend zone type of way.
01:44:54.280 Now I think I talk to women and at least they like look at me as remotely some sort of a 1.00
01:44:58.560 sexual object, which is nice.
01:45:00.480 But I would, I would say that I was actually watching a Chris Rock, uh, standup.
01:45:04.260 Um, not even a standup.
01:45:05.220 He was on Fallon, I think like last week actually.
01:45:07.500 And he was saying he was trying to get with Rihanna once he got single and Rihanna didn't
01:45:10.820 even look at him as a sexual object.
01:45:13.160 She like uncleized him.
01:45:14.220 He said, that's almost how I kind of felt like it was back in the day.
01:45:17.340 Now I feel like at least I'm not being, I'm being sexualized.
01:45:22.140 Okay. 0.95
01:45:22.440 So now you, at least you have some sexual.
01:45:23.940 I think I got a, I got a fighting chance.
01:45:25.640 I got, I was going to battle without a sword.
01:45:27.140 Now I at least have a sword.
01:45:28.060 Right.
01:45:29.040 Which I'll take.
01:45:29.960 Right.
01:45:30.320 You were never Babe Ruth, but now you're at least Ruth.
01:45:33.200 Yeah.
01:45:33.720 Or Babe.
01:45:34.140 Babe Ruth, anybody.
01:45:35.320 Yeah.
01:45:35.500 I'll just be, I'll be a solid two 50 hitter, 20 home runs a year, 80 RBIs.
01:45:39.360 I'm happy with that.
01:45:40.200 Yeah.
01:45:40.580 I don't need to be Babe Ruth, but now I'm born with the battle.
01:45:43.160 I at least got a sword.
01:45:43.980 I got a hammer.
01:45:44.560 I got something with me.
01:45:45.600 Right.
01:45:47.160 Interesting, man.
01:45:48.380 Yeah.
01:45:48.700 I've just kind of been curious what that world's like.
01:45:50.860 It's a fun world.
01:45:52.040 Yeah.
01:45:52.560 I'm sure.
01:45:53.180 Well, look, I mean, you get to talk to women. 0.97
01:45:54.980 We get excited when we get women in here. 1.00
01:45:56.860 Yeah.
01:45:57.160 Then, then really they're all very, very cool.
01:45:59.400 They're cool chicks. 1.00
01:46:00.020 Yeah.
01:46:00.400 I have some, I have some close friends, uh, that are, are, uh, only fans or do only fans.
01:46:06.140 Um, it's kind of become a way that women. 1.00
01:46:10.400 Uh, can take the, you know, control of the sexual industry. 0.99
01:46:17.760 If they're involved in any form of the sexual industry or even just like an artistic element
01:46:21.640 of sex.
01:46:22.100 Yeah.
01:46:22.260 It doesn't even, honestly, it doesn't even need to be sex.
01:46:23.860 I know girls will do the cooking content on there. 1.00
01:46:26.040 Right.
01:46:26.220 Right.
01:46:26.420 I guess sexualized something.
01:46:28.440 A hundred percent.
01:46:28.840 And then if you're a good looking chick, like there's just so many of them that just 0.57
01:46:32.900 make so much money.
01:46:33.880 And like I said, really don't even post nudity.
01:46:35.660 Now, what about world?
01:46:37.020 What suggestions would you have?
01:46:37.920 Say that there's women that don't, that don't think of themselves as sexy women. 0.98
01:46:41.480 Right.
01:46:42.400 They don't think of themselves.
01:46:43.480 They see like a, you know, like one of these blonde kind of, uh, trying to think of some 1.00
01:46:49.320 A blonde bombshell. 1.00
01:46:50.600 Yeah.
01:46:50.860 A blonde bombshell. 1.00
01:46:51.320 A Margot Robbie. 1.00
01:46:52.300 Fucking Hermione Granger or whatever. 1.00
01:46:54.640 And you know, in a two piece or whatever. 1.00
01:46:56.480 And they're like, I can't be that.
01:46:58.620 Right.
01:46:58.920 How do they create an OnlyFans that could be marketable?
01:47:02.980 Well, that's what a lot of people say.
01:47:04.000 I mean, they're only, one of the beautiful things about OnlyFans is so many girls, there's 0.99
01:47:08.680 a market for everything I've learned.
01:47:10.100 Yeah.
01:47:10.420 Literally a market for everything.
01:47:11.600 So if you're not feeling maybe like a, maybe like Bo Derek, there's still probably guys
01:47:16.280 that are in the market for what, for what you're selling.
01:47:18.380 Yeah.
01:47:18.780 And that's just completely a fact.
01:47:20.740 I mean, one of my favorite questions to ask every guest, I'll ask every guest this,
01:47:23.300 is what is your most interesting, odd subscriber request you've come across from your subscribers? 0.97
01:47:28.920 And they all say the most ridiculous things.
01:47:32.080 There's, there's people out there that will like you for you no matter what. 0.94
01:47:35.060 There's, there's a, there's a category for everybody, I think.
01:47:36.800 And that that's, I've learned that.
01:47:38.520 Yes.
01:47:39.260 Do you think it's healthy for women to do OnlyFans? 1.00
01:47:41.800 Do you have, do you ever, do you gain any thought on it by getting to meet a lot of these
01:47:44.840 ladies? 1.00
01:47:45.160 And, uh, have you, what do you think about that?
01:47:48.220 I think it's, it's an interesting, it's interesting and it depends on the way they think about themselves
01:47:52.460 kind of like if there's a, there's a lot of girls that will, will complain to me about 0.99
01:47:56.880 they can't find a boyfriend because they're doing OnlyFans or something.
01:47:59.740 And I'll, I'll tell them all the time.
01:48:01.100 Like I say this all the time.
01:48:01.980 There was a point in, in my career at Barstool where so many comments about me were like
01:48:06.880 very, very mean.
01:48:08.020 And like, I would, I just thought to myself, I'm not going to like, I just going to stop
01:48:11.760 reading them because I, I don't want, I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but
01:48:15.680 I think like probably if there's like some guy, and these are also people that are commenting
01:48:20.240 super mean shit about me on Twitter. 0.93
01:48:21.960 So that guy probably is more mad at himself. 0.99
01:48:23.800 I guess he doesn't like himself and he's just deflecting that onto me to be mean to
01:48:26.980 me.
01:48:27.500 So I, I'm telling the girls that I'm, I always tell them even off camera, I'm telling them 0.98
01:48:31.780 if someone is being mean to you, calling you, let's say a whore about for being on 1.00
01:48:35.980 OnlyFans, they're probably just jealous that they can't do what you do, that they don't
01:48:39.180 have that opportunity to do what you do.
01:48:40.980 Cause let me tell you the, the money they make and what they do, it's, it's unbelievable.
01:48:44.960 OnlyFans is like, it's a crazy platform.
01:48:46.420 And if you, and anyone that would make fun of them for doing that, I just think is great.
01:48:51.120 It's crazy.
01:48:51.820 They're, they're, they're geniuses.
01:48:53.840 I often say they're geniuses and they're literally geniuses. 0.99
01:48:56.400 Well, I mean, it's like, yeah, people will call you a whore. 1.00
01:48:59.680 They will call you a fat. 1.00
01:49:01.060 They will call you a piss baby or whatever. 1.00
01:49:05.880 But a lot of that is on them. 0.88
01:49:08.360 It's on them.
01:49:09.160 I've never, I've, I've often said this. 0.98
01:49:10.940 I've never wanted to talk shit about somebody that I didn't care about. 0.97
01:49:18.040 If that makes sense. 0.98
01:49:19.160 That you, yeah, you didn't have some, like, you know, there wasn't some ink intrigue.
01:49:24.460 Yes.
01:49:25.000 If there's like, I'll, I'll often see like maybe a, maybe a douchey looking dude with a 1.00
01:49:29.340 really hot girlfriend and he's tatted up and I'm like, ah, this fucking guy. 1.00
01:49:32.140 Yeah. 1.00
01:49:32.420 Like the OnlyFans girls, it's one thing I say, they love to fuck the inked guys. 1.00
01:49:35.620 The OnlyFans uptick is, was huge for the tattoo community. 0.99
01:49:38.680 Really?
01:49:38.960 They're all banging tattooed guys. 1.00
01:49:40.460 Wow.
01:49:40.900 Yeah.
01:49:41.080 It's crazy.
01:49:41.840 What is that?
01:49:42.580 You think?
01:49:43.280 I don't know.
01:49:44.060 What are tattooed guys?
01:49:45.100 Dude, you'd be shocked.
01:49:46.240 And I'll say this, a tattooed girl, pasty skin, you know what I'm saying? 0.98
01:49:51.300 That Boo Radley skin. 0.99
01:49:52.620 You're out on a girl, tattoo lady? 1.00
01:49:54.460 Hmm?
01:49:54.740 You're out on a girl tattoo?
01:49:55.900 Like a full sleeve?
01:49:56.920 You don't find that attractive?
01:49:58.120 Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
01:49:58.940 I mean, I like that, you know, if there's a pasty, like, you know, some girl who's just 1.00
01:50:06.460 like, oh, dang, I'm, oh, you know, fuck, I'm ready. 0.99
01:50:12.420 Yeah, they're intimidating gals, but the dudes, the girls love tattooed guys. 1.00
01:50:17.320 Every guy they're fucking is, they got, they're basically, their dick is tattooed. 0.99
01:50:19.840 Well, you can also tattoo crazy stuff around your wiener that makes it seem awesome. 1.00
01:50:23.420 You could tattoo, like, a large dick, you know, four inches ahead, you know, like, like, 0.99
01:50:28.640 like, uh, you know, stop, you know, turn around here for more. 0.99
01:50:32.400 Dude, have you ever seen the show Gigolos by any chance on Showtime?
01:50:35.380 Oh, it's fantastic.
01:50:36.440 It's great television.
01:50:37.240 It was like a lot, it was basically a, I think a fake reality show that was on Showtime.
01:50:41.280 I found it after dark one night in high school. 0.99
01:50:43.240 And just these four Gigolos hanging out in Vegas and fucking chicks doing their job. 0.99
01:50:47.420 One of the guys on that show, Nick Hawk, he had the tattoo where it was basically almost 0.99
01:50:51.220 like Venom from the Spider-Man movies was taking over half his body.
01:50:54.860 So, like, all of this was tattooed just black, like Venom was taking over him, and it 1.00
01:50:59.180 went all the way down to the tip of his dick. 1.00
01:51:00.880 Like, literally a shaft was tattooed. 1.00
01:51:03.700 Full shaft.
01:51:04.640 Wow.
01:51:05.120 Yeah. 0.77
01:51:06.220 You know, a lot of men that are secretly gay will ask their wife to get like, um, um, 1.00
01:51:15.220 butt cheeks tattooed around their vagina. 1.00
01:51:18.080 Really? 1.00
01:51:19.020 Yeah.
01:51:20.820 I guess, I guess it kind of makes sense, you know?
01:51:23.180 Yeah. 0.99
01:51:23.860 A vagina tattoo sounds pretty rough, though. 1.00
01:51:25.880 That's almost worse than a dick tattoo. 1.00
01:51:26.860 A dick tattoo, I know for a fat you got to stay hard for. 0.99
01:51:28.860 Or they'll have them write like, this is a butt and like point at it or something, you know? 0.99
01:51:33.100 Anyway, I just.
01:51:33.660 It's not down there.
01:51:34.260 It's up there.
01:51:34.640 Yeah.
01:51:35.380 It's just interesting.
01:51:37.420 Um, what are some like moments like working with like as a sidekick with Caleb, what has
01:51:41.940 it been like?
01:51:42.740 Has there been some unique moments?
01:51:43.900 Like he told us about a time when you guys got to hang out with Aaron Rodgers all day.
01:51:47.360 Um, because yeah, we only see that, um, because yeah, we only see that.
01:51:51.080 Oh, that's you guys up there?
01:51:53.180 Yeah, that's my phone background.
01:51:55.300 Wow.
01:51:55.940 Dude, I mean like I can't, I've watched that clip a bunch of times from the show, but like
01:51:59.400 Caleb said, he, he was just the coolest, the coolest person I've probably ever come
01:52:04.620 in contact with.
01:52:05.200 He was amazing.
01:52:05.760 And he was, as Caleb said, he was like old school.
01:52:08.240 Cool.
01:52:08.540 It almost felt like you were hanging out with Frank Sinatra.
01:52:11.300 He just had that vibe about him.
01:52:12.720 And he was just the coolest guy and just amazing.
01:52:15.680 We hung out with him, drank for hours and could not have been nicer.
01:52:18.920 And just, he was a joy, but yeah, we've had some weird, some weird ones.
01:52:22.280 I mean, in the last year, I would say the two craziest things that we've done, thanks 0.61
01:52:26.620 to Caleb and just on the conversation, I guess I fucking sang rock star with Nickelback 0.97
01:52:30.320 on stage. 0.99
01:52:30.900 That was sick.
01:52:31.400 And then I want to be a rock star.
01:52:34.600 And, um, yeah, no, I mean the biggest one, which like, I still don't even let my brain 0.96
01:52:37.820 think about is fucking, we had a Drew Barrymore on Sunday conversation. 0.97
01:52:40.980 I kissed you Barrymore. 1.00
01:52:41.920 Oh, that's right.
01:52:42.620 You did, huh? 1.00
01:52:43.260 Fucking Drew Barrymore. 0.99
01:52:43.980 Did they make you do anything before? 1.00
01:52:46.140 Like, did they test your mouth?
01:52:47.300 Did they swab you?
01:52:48.240 Did they like frisk your jowls or whatever for anything?
01:52:51.360 So Drew walked in and I'm, I've always been a massive Drew Barrymore fan.
01:52:55.100 Probably my favorite actress.
01:52:55.980 I'm obsessed with Drew Barrymore.
01:52:57.120 Oh yeah.
01:52:57.640 She's like the hot Macaulay Culkin.
01:52:58.880 Me and my mom have been watching Wedding Singer together since I was a baby.
01:53:02.500 I love Drew Barrymore.
01:53:03.980 Just hearing her voice first, I heard her voice.
01:53:06.900 I was so starstruck.
01:53:09.180 And then Caleb, so Caleb has me this thing.
01:53:10.700 He says, we wrote a quick script at the end.
01:53:12.620 We're going to talk to Drew about it.
01:53:13.380 She walks in.
01:53:14.440 We say, okay, Drew, you and Glenn, you're going to do a quick skit at the end.
01:53:17.540 You're going to pretend you guys are at a restaurant in Australia because I was dressed like an Australian man.
01:53:21.860 And then it's saying, Drew says, oh no, I don't want to eat.
01:53:24.680 What I want is you.
01:53:26.040 And then it's like, go in for a kiss.
01:53:27.960 And we obviously tell her before, you don't have, you guys don't have to kiss.
01:53:31.320 But just like get up and like pretend to go in for a kiss.
01:53:33.680 But do whatever you want.
01:53:35.460 And then we're doing it.
01:53:36.460 This part got cut.
01:53:37.060 We're shooting the whole time and all the time sitting there saying, what's going to happen?
01:53:40.800 What's going to happen here?
01:53:41.840 And before I forgot what Caleb asked her, but she was basically saying in her acting career, she's never wanted to fake things.
01:53:47.240 And then I'm telling myself, does this mean Drew Barrymore is about to kiss me right now?
01:53:53.240 And the way she was talking, she kept saying how she never fakes things in acting.
01:53:57.520 And we started reading it.
01:53:58.560 And as you see there, she got up out of her chair and then came up and sat still like right in front of me and then said in a line. 0.91
01:54:04.720 And then she went in for a kiss and then we kissed. 0.99
01:54:05.980 And I just said to myself, I just fucking kissed Drew Barrymore. 0.98
01:54:10.760 That's otherworldly. 0.97
01:54:11.820 Drew Barrymore is up for echelons. 1.00
01:54:14.580 Fucking Drew Barrymore, dude. 0.99
01:54:15.620 And then we fucking, Caleb told her, well, not that we just did this for fun. 1.00
01:54:19.400 We had to. 0.98
01:54:20.000 We had, as you see in the clip too, we had to like get a shot of us both going in directly.
01:54:23.800 So we had to get the cameras closer.
01:54:25.220 So we did, we had to shoot it again.
01:54:26.420 And she did it again. 0.71
01:54:27.220 Oh my God.
01:54:27.680 I kissed her twice.
01:54:29.040 Now the second time you have to feel like you're in like a little relationship.
01:54:32.280 I did.
01:54:32.800 I said to myself, am I about to go to dinner with Drew Barrymore?
01:54:35.080 Am I about to, am I about to date Drew Barrymore?
01:54:38.000 I would be so down to date Drew Barrymore.
01:54:40.200 Like so, so, so down to date Drew Barrymore.
01:54:42.380 Oh man.
01:54:43.840 And I know I was pretty excited when she posted on Instagram.
01:54:46.260 I think she posted that clip and she tagged me before Caleb.
01:54:48.900 No big deal.
01:54:49.800 She seems really cool.
01:54:50.620 She seems like she's gotten into the, uh, like the podcast, social media space.
01:54:56.820 Like she gets it, you know?
01:54:58.000 Yeah.
01:54:58.220 She was just so nice.
01:54:58.920 I think there's some people that are like getting real, like really late to the train
01:55:01.100 of like being okay with doing social media.
01:55:03.340 She was so nice.
01:55:04.080 And I will say, which is kind of shocking.
01:55:05.760 Now we've never really had a mean guest per se.
01:55:07.720 I think as the guests get bigger and bigger, I'm noticing there's a reason why they get,
01:55:12.420 why they're so big.
01:55:13.540 And I think it's because they're just like good people.
01:55:15.840 Like everyone is just so nice.
01:55:17.900 There's really no one that's mean.
01:55:19.760 Not that I want to be mean, but like they're all just exceedingly nice.
01:55:23.520 Like overbearingly nice.
01:55:25.020 She was amazing.
01:55:26.060 Like Drake was so nice to us.
01:55:27.740 Rogers was so nice to us.
01:55:28.940 Yeah.
01:55:29.060 He told us about that.
01:55:30.360 What about, um, who was one that you didn't get to spend time with?
01:55:33.420 So there's a, there's a difference between a lot of them will be, well, like Caleb said
01:55:38.780 on when he was on here, like the, well, they'll book it.
01:55:41.140 Our book, people will book it.
01:55:42.180 And then they'll just be in and out like ice cube walked in and walked out.
01:55:45.700 Um, Kodak black walked in and walked out. 0.99
01:55:48.560 Then people we've hung out with and we hung out with Rogers a lot.
01:55:52.320 Drake took us to dinner.
01:55:54.480 Um, who were some other good ones?
01:55:56.460 We just bro down with, let's see.
01:55:59.700 Drew, Drew left after, but I mean, it was Drew, Drew Bradmore.
01:56:02.260 She, she's left.
01:56:02.920 Steven a left after what are some other good hangs?
01:56:05.860 We had Michael Irvin hung out with us for a little bit, but yeah, he seems really entertaining.
01:56:10.000 I would like to see, uh, Paul, uh, um, I would like to see on there.
01:56:15.560 Um, Joey B would be good.
01:56:17.880 Oh, Joe borrow.
01:56:18.740 Yeah.
01:56:19.000 Yeah.
01:56:19.140 I think he'd be great.
01:56:19.940 Um, my current, uh, dream one, I think is probably Larry David.
01:56:24.600 Yeah.
01:56:24.960 I think Larry David would not only be like a lot of a few guests are mean to me, which
01:56:27.940 is fine.
01:56:28.340 I don't really care.
01:56:29.000 I think Larry David would both be mean to me and Caleb and he would just kind of take it
01:56:32.140 over, which I think would be hilarious.
01:56:33.400 Yeah.
01:56:33.780 And I think kind of my other, I know he's going to, I think he's going through stuff right
01:56:36.840 now, but I think Jamie Foxx would be really funny.
01:56:38.940 I think Jamie Foxx would be a great one.
01:56:40.800 So I guess those are my current white whales.
01:56:42.700 Yeah.
01:56:43.160 I think, uh, who else I would love to have on here is, um, uh, Quaid, Randy Quaid.
01:56:49.600 Ooh.
01:56:50.140 I think it'd be amazing.
01:56:51.300 You guys, Dustin Poirier would be great on your show.
01:56:53.280 I think, uh, Caleb might try to get him next year.
01:56:56.440 Um, Randy Quaid, where'd you get that from?
01:56:58.700 He's just like, I, he's just so, I, I just, I don't know.
01:57:02.420 I just wonder about his journey, what he's been up to.
01:57:04.080 He's such like this iconic actor, um, and played such an iconic character in, uh, National
01:57:10.880 Lampoon.
01:57:12.100 I don't know.
01:57:12.620 I think I would just be intrigued.
01:57:13.680 Would he be your acting world?
01:57:15.180 Um, why will?
01:57:17.280 No, I'd probably go Julia Roberts first.
01:57:20.900 Respect.
01:57:21.640 Who doesn't love Julia Roberts? 1.00
01:57:23.060 God, dude, if I, oh, if she only knew what I would love to, if I just, I just want to
01:57:28.300 sit on a porch with her somewhere and watch her read something and watch, I think a sweet
01:57:31.440 tea with her.
01:57:31.980 For some reason I could see her enjoying a sweet tea.
01:57:33.800 I don't think she'd let me sit that close to her, but that would be fine.
01:57:36.600 I picture a porch.
01:57:37.800 I picture a large porch, rocking chairs back and forth.
01:57:39.940 Like maybe the distance we're at right now.
01:57:41.760 Julia Roberts would be a cool one. 1.00
01:57:42.760 I really will.
01:57:43.420 I really would say for myself, I think in the actress realm, Drew Barrymore would have
01:57:46.440 been my pick.
01:57:47.400 I do believe that.
01:57:49.040 I mean, obviously like Sandler would be cool.
01:57:51.640 Oh yeah.
01:57:52.180 Sandler, Channing Tatum, I think would be good.
01:57:55.000 Tatum.
01:57:55.380 Um, who else?
01:57:56.660 Uh, but yeah, my top right now is like Larry David, Jamie Foxx, Sandler.
01:58:00.560 That'd be my top three.
01:58:01.560 I met Trump at the, um, UFCs.
01:58:05.100 Oh yeah.
01:58:05.540 Just like last week in Miami, right?
01:58:07.080 Yeah.
01:58:07.420 How was that?
01:58:08.640 It was interesting, man.
01:58:09.660 I mean, you're like, you know, I mean, I love being at UFC, right?
01:58:13.660 So it's like, for me, it is literally, it's like being like, you ever been, um, baptized
01:58:20.440 or whatever?
01:58:21.340 Yeah.
01:58:21.720 I got baptized.
01:58:22.220 It's like that.
01:58:22.940 Don't recall it.
01:58:23.680 But yeah, I mean, I, I feel like though, I've never been to UFC, but just the, the vibe
01:58:27.060 of it, how they just have everybody there, which just seems like one big, I guess for
01:58:30.520 you, obviously just an interesting VIP party.
01:58:33.720 It's a who's, it's almost like, uh, like the Oscars for cool guys.
01:58:38.620 If that makes sense. 0.98
01:58:39.660 It feels like it's the who's who of actually who has some fucking nuts, you know, that's 0.98
01:58:44.260 what it feels like a little bit. 0.96
01:58:45.160 And I'm not even saying me, but it feels like, you know, that's the energy that Dana has,
01:58:49.780 you know?
01:58:50.140 Yes.
01:58:50.380 Um, you know, I got to talk to him for like maybe 12 minutes, just even talk about like
01:58:55.120 some work stuff and like, uh, you know, and he's had a lot of great success and what he
01:59:00.500 was sharing and stuff like that.
01:59:01.840 And so that was really cool.
01:59:03.380 How to work with advertisers, some business stuff, but then like kid rock is there.
01:59:09.260 He rolls in with Trump, you know, we're in like Dana White's dress green room.
01:59:14.160 Right.
01:59:14.660 And I've been trying to do some like, um, maybe some social media stuff with UFC.
01:59:19.160 So it was my first time like doing some of that, but I get to be backstage by the fighters.
01:59:23.500 You know, it's like, you're getting baptized, but right when you come up, two dudes are beating
01:59:27.300 the fuck out of each other.
01:59:28.320 Right. 0.97
01:59:28.800 Yeah.
01:59:29.260 So it's like that, bro.
01:59:31.000 And, uh, yeah, there's just so much going on.
01:59:33.680 You turn this way.
01:59:34.400 Somebody said, because they've, you know, they're, they're going through defeat and agony this
01:59:38.000 way.
01:59:38.240 Somebody's a hero this way there, you know, they, somebody just flatline this way.
01:59:42.900 There's like some, uh, a, a, a ring model trying on a new top this way. 0.98
01:59:48.280 There's, uh, Joe Burrow in, uh, the Bosa boys. 1.00
01:59:51.160 Justin Jefferson was there.
01:59:52.180 I think.
01:59:52.540 Yeah.
01:59:52.700 I saw a bunch of people there this way. 0.99
01:59:54.440 There's, um, it's just some lady that's there that has the biggest tits ever. 1.00
01:59:58.300 Right. 1.00
01:59:58.580 And it's like, she has some Jack dude is literally carrying one of her tits. 1.00
02:00:02.100 Probably tatted up. 1.00
02:00:03.000 Oh, he was so tatted.
02:00:03.920 Of course he was. 0.99
02:00:04.660 And she can't even carry both tits. 1.00
02:00:06.040 So she's balanced and he's literally carrying the other. 0.97
02:00:08.440 I want to be that guy.
02:00:09.200 I want that job.
02:00:09.860 Oh, it was.
02:00:10.460 So it just, there's so much going on, but then Trump rolled in and, um, it was just interesting.
02:00:16.020 You know, you get, you got, I'd never met a president before and I'd never met Donald
02:00:19.820 Trump's before.
02:00:20.940 Now, don't take us the wrong way, but do you, he, did he know who you were?
02:00:24.300 No, he didn't.
02:00:25.400 His son knows, uh, knows me, Donald Jr.
02:00:28.300 And, um, I don't know if his other son, Eric knew or not, but it was just interesting.
02:00:33.200 You know, Mike, him and Mike Tyson rolled in at the same time.
02:00:35.740 I'm assuming him, he's going to this event.
02:00:37.040 I mean, everybody's going to just be there and he's going to have to say, kind of make it
02:00:39.980 seem like he knows you no matter who he's talking to because he, where he is, everybody
02:00:43.800 is, I guess, of notoriety now as a, as a person that gets to go to those things, do you, would
02:00:49.240 you say you're more excited going into the night to see the fights or to just the spectacle
02:00:53.020 of it?
02:00:53.780 Oh, I think the fights, uh, for sure.
02:00:56.860 Yeah.
02:00:57.140 I've never been to one where you're that close up, that close up.
02:00:59.560 That seems like kind of a, once you go there, you can't sit, can't sit up high.
02:01:04.000 Yeah.
02:01:04.380 I mean, I think I, I would just to see the fights, but it definitely, I felt real fortunate,
02:01:09.300 you know, uh, to go and yeah, you're just seeing these guys and like, when they're putting
02:01:14.520 it on the line, you know, like I think in a lot of ways, comedians, uh, strippers, um,
02:01:22.640 fighters, you know, anybody that does something that puts themselves out there there, you're
02:01:28.840 all trying to gain, like to be seen in some way, you know, some, you're all using something
02:01:33.620 you have to attract, uh, to get acceptance kind of in a way.
02:01:39.340 A hundred percent.
02:01:39.940 I mean, that's, I mean, I've never done set up.
02:01:41.340 That's one thing I always tell myself.
02:01:42.480 I, if I ever go to a comedy club or my friends send a clip of somebody doing set up, I will
02:01:47.060 never say anything bad about anybody in set up. 0.78
02:01:49.960 If you have the balls to get up there, all power to you. 0.94
02:01:52.320 Yeah. 0.99
02:01:52.680 I think all power to you.
02:01:54.640 Yeah.
02:01:54.940 That's how I am about fighters.
02:01:56.000 I think, because it's just so like, I always had a tough time defending myself when I was a
02:02:00.420 kid. 0.98
02:02:00.620 And so, you know, I didn't feel like I had protection and shit. 0.96
02:02:02.920 So you get to see these guys who were doing it and then, and find out the different reasons 0.91
02:02:07.100 that they're doing it.
02:02:07.980 And it's all, to me, it's real fascinating.
02:02:09.960 Did you get into a lot of fights growing up?
02:02:11.240 No, I got into maybe six fights.
02:02:14.460 Ooh, that's hot.
02:02:16.900 And, uh, we had a lot of brothers in the area too.
02:02:19.160 So every now and then a brother will flare up out of nowhere, you know, and you'll be in
02:02:22.060 a fight.
02:02:23.000 But, um, but yeah, but it was, it was, it was interesting.
02:02:27.860 And Trump's just like, you're good.
02:02:29.000 How are you doing?
02:02:29.900 You're doing good.
02:02:30.620 He's in president mode.
02:02:31.740 Yeah.
02:02:31.920 You're great.
02:02:32.540 You're doing great.
02:02:33.680 Your parents are doing good.
02:02:35.180 You know?
02:02:35.500 It's with the parents.
02:02:36.260 It was just, he's so like, yeah, he said, you know, I was like, my dad's been dead for
02:02:40.060 like 22 years.
02:02:41.160 And he's like, but before that he was doing great.
02:02:44.960 He's in parents.
02:02:47.060 I'm like, you know what?
02:02:48.060 He was.
02:02:49.280 He was doing great before that.
02:02:51.300 He's just so funny.
02:02:52.120 I kind of like, I was like, you know, I appreciate that.
02:02:54.840 That was worth the price of admission.
02:02:56.100 That was better than any fight you're going to see.
02:02:58.240 But yeah, he's, yeah, he's just funny.
02:03:00.260 But it was fun though, man.
02:03:01.240 It was just, that was, that was a spectacle.
02:03:03.540 And, uh, yeah, to get to meet like Joe, bro.
02:03:06.340 And then to get to listen to Dana and get to just be in the, see all the fans.
02:03:10.340 It was great.
02:03:11.200 Um, what else?
02:03:12.640 Let's get into some news.
02:03:13.460 What do we got?
02:03:13.960 Zach E.
02:03:16.520 This is the story we were talking about earlier.
02:03:18.140 There's a teacher in Oregon who's, uh, on leave right now because he assigned the students
02:03:23.120 in class to write their sexual fantasy for, for a report.
02:03:28.200 Did he not check with anybody else before he did this?
02:03:30.800 You can, uh, read it for yourself right here.
02:03:33.360 Let me zoom in there.
02:03:34.440 Can you read it?
02:03:35.240 Yeah.
02:03:36.280 For those students who are absent, you will write a short story or paragraph or two stories 0.99
02:03:40.220 of sexual fantasy that will have no penetration of any kind or oral sex. 0.97
02:03:44.160 So no way of passing an ICD. 0.99
02:03:45.720 You will choose three items, romantic music, candles, massage oil, feather, or boa flavored
02:03:51.920 syrup to use your story.
02:03:53.280 Your story should show that you can show, uh, how you go about receiving love and affection 0.70
02:03:58.260 without having sex. 0.73
02:04:01.800 Uh, I don't think that's that bad, right?
02:04:04.100 It's only worth 10 points.
02:04:05.940 It says 10 points for, I wonder how much of the whole semester though, but that's not
02:04:11.640 horrible.
02:04:12.000 I mean, you're not, there is no pen. 0.99
02:04:13.160 I guess if you have to say no penetration or oral sex, then it's not that great because 0.99
02:04:16.940 you're in school. 0.99
02:04:17.440 But that sounds kind of fun.
02:04:20.000 Yeah.
02:04:20.300 Look, I think I'm not sure.
02:04:21.820 Like, I think 40 years ago, I could see them doing this in school.
02:04:25.920 This sounds like something you'd read out of the seventies that happened, you know, like
02:04:29.460 when, like it was more like free love, I think.
02:04:32.860 And it was like, you know, tell us a, you know, write us a soft core romance novel, unless
02:04:39.120 they'd been reading something like this in school.
02:04:41.620 I mean, it's interesting because all kids are thinking about at this age or what a lot
02:04:45.960 of them are occupied by is sexual thoughts and energy fact, a hundred percent.
02:04:52.540 Like you have people, there's some kids, you pat them on the back hard enough and they will 0.99
02:04:56.460 ejaculate. 0.98
02:04:58.560 Yeah.
02:04:59.040 You know, and so you, it's like, that's just what's going on in their bodies.
02:05:05.560 So I wonder if there is good ways to do, to create like positive sexual, uh, works that
02:05:15.760 you're doing in school.
02:05:16.580 If there is going to be one, I mean, I guess it's that there's, there's, there's no, there's
02:05:19.680 no penetration or oral.
02:05:20.940 You could do a romantic, a romantic tune, maybe some of the weekend or something like 0.94
02:05:24.400 that.
02:05:24.600 That's always fun.
02:05:25.660 And then, yeah, they, they mentioned the flavored syrup, the foods, maybe they could throw
02:05:28.820 in some oysters.
02:05:29.580 They didn't mention oysters there.
02:05:30.540 They could throw in some oysters.
02:05:31.600 Yeah.
02:05:32.020 It's not a bad idea.
02:05:33.080 Just maybe a home date, get some oysters, shuck them yourselves, get horny through that,
02:05:38.180 throw on the tunes.
02:05:39.420 That could be a paragraph or two for that class.
02:05:41.560 Yeah.
02:05:42.760 Yeah.
02:05:43.080 I think, yeah, that would be interesting.
02:05:44.300 And now I'll tell you this, everybody's going to show up to school to write, to re-listen
02:05:48.180 to other people's, but is it going to lead to people, you know, uh, sending each other,
02:05:56.160 you know, some people doing semen on a piece of paper and folding it up and, you know,
02:06:00.780 giving it some, or is it going to, you know, that Rorschach test?
02:06:03.320 I said, are they going to, are they going to come just from hearing the stories in class?
02:06:06.800 Right.
02:06:08.520 Maybe if there's a way to tell it properly, I would imagine you can't really tell it properly
02:06:12.780 though in school.
02:06:13.520 I would hope that's also not, not a project you're reading that loud.
02:06:16.680 That sounds like a teacher only.
02:06:18.700 But if the teacher only is reading it, to me, that has hella perv vibes, dude.
02:06:23.700 And then how do you know who's getting an A and who's getting a D?
02:06:27.360 Yeah.
02:06:28.440 What differentiates that one?
02:06:30.180 Yeah.
02:06:30.600 And if anybody gets a D, that guy's going to jail.
02:06:33.340 Yeah.
02:06:33.740 Maybe the most beautiful girl in class is walking out with an A plus and I'm walking in there 1.00
02:06:36.800 with a D.
02:06:37.500 It's not a good look.
02:06:38.640 Even though my grammar may have been better.
02:06:40.780 Dude, I remember somebody threatened a Spanish teacher in our bathroom and, and threatened
02:06:47.020 to beat the shit out of him if they didn't get a B and he gave him a B. 0.89
02:06:50.440 Oh, really?
02:06:50.940 I wonder how often that, I wonder how often stuff like that actually works with teachers.
02:06:56.080 My high school, my high school, there was like, we had tests at the end of every trimester
02:07:02.520 that was worth about 30% of our grade.
02:07:04.760 And then the average of those three trimesters was half of it.
02:07:08.980 Then the other half was comps.
02:07:10.380 And the end of the year test would be 50% of our grade.
02:07:12.860 So my buddy literally at the end of senior year or junior year, whenever you're applying
02:07:17.420 to colleges, he was so, I was bad at math.
02:07:20.180 He took it to a new level.
02:07:21.860 He would be, he would truly average.
02:07:23.540 I think his average was like a 45. 1.00
02:07:24.660 He's an idiot. 1.00
02:07:25.160 One of my best friends. 1.00
02:07:25.980 Oh yeah.
02:07:26.380 Great voice.
02:07:27.440 Great singer.
02:07:27.940 One of my best friends.
02:07:28.580 But he was really bad at math.
02:07:30.420 Great singer.
02:07:31.380 Great singer now.
02:07:32.340 Yes.
02:07:32.720 Two times seven is nine.
02:07:35.860 He's got a great, he sings a grudge, 90s.
02:07:37.960 But yeah.
02:07:39.080 And he legitimately wrote a paragraph to the teacher at the end on the last thing saying,
02:07:44.560 I really don't want to go to community college.
02:07:46.040 Like, please, for the love of God, pass me.
02:07:47.580 You got passed.
02:07:48.220 Wow.
02:07:48.720 Yeah.
02:07:49.220 There's something about it.
02:07:50.200 Look, there's a way sometimes, you know, to get things done.
02:07:53.040 And some people are able to do that.
02:07:54.760 I think in this instance, man, I feel like this is something you do in college.
02:07:58.700 I feel like it's a little risque to do it in high school.
02:08:01.680 Um, I think it would be fine probably. 0.99
02:08:05.260 But then also if I'm a high school kid, dude, I'm jerking off, dude. 0.98
02:08:09.460 You know, the second I get this assignment, I'm jerking, the whole time I'm doing it. 0.98
02:08:13.680 You know, if a girl, if I try to write homework with a friend, I'm going to try, you know.
02:08:17.680 I also show up.
02:08:18.240 This is ninth period class, not a first period class.
02:08:20.160 I want to go directly home after this.
02:08:22.100 Not a first, I'm actually getting this first period.
02:08:23.840 You got to hear some erotica at 9 a.m.
02:08:27.000 Yeah.
02:08:28.280 A little bathroom break.
02:08:29.320 Yeah, you just roll another hall with a mouthful of sprees.
02:08:32.220 Nah, this has got to be ninth period.
02:08:33.420 This has got to be last period. 1.00
02:08:34.900 Dude, you have a mouthful of fucking sweet tarts. 1.00
02:08:37.200 You're just rocked up. 1.00
02:08:38.200 And then everyone's probably walking around the hallway saying who had the best sex story of the day. 0.75
02:08:41.580 And everyone's exchanging sex stories.
02:08:43.280 So true.
02:08:43.820 This seems to be a ninth period type of thing.
02:08:45.400 Wow.
02:08:45.780 It's interesting.
02:08:46.740 But then also it's like who could become a graphic novelist, you know.
02:08:50.200 And this is where they start and this is where they learn that they have that ability.
02:08:54.200 What else we got, Zach?
02:08:55.520 Well, you mentioned The Weeknd.
02:08:56.680 This is a big deal.
02:08:57.600 Well, AI generated a fake song of Drake and The Weeknd, which is, I guess a lot of people in the industry are very concerned by this, obviously.
02:09:06.040 Because I can't play the song, but if you hear it, it's pretty, it sounds like it's an actual track from these guys.
02:09:11.800 Really?
02:09:12.200 So someone has said AI create a fake Weeknd Drake collab.
02:09:15.440 Yes.
02:09:15.900 Well, you got to shut AI down, dude.
02:09:17.740 It's freaking me out.
02:09:18.820 Okay.
02:09:19.020 So the people are just saying, hey, make this video, make this song.
02:09:21.940 It can do it.
02:09:23.060 It can.
02:09:23.700 I can't confirm.
02:09:24.500 Like, I actually, I don't know if he wants me to say this because we didn't put it in.
02:09:27.900 I don't know if he showed you this either.
02:09:30.320 But for Drake, Caleb made, used AI to make a Drake something conversation song.
02:09:36.060 And then we played it for him.
02:09:37.580 And he, like, enjoyed it.
02:09:39.140 Like, it sounded like Drake.
02:09:41.440 And it was a full song that Caleb wrote.
02:09:44.080 And it was a full Drake song.
02:09:45.800 It was, like, a legit rap.
02:09:46.840 So Caleb wrote it, though.
02:09:48.200 So AI didn't write it.
02:09:49.500 No, Caleb wrote it.
02:09:50.740 But, like, on whatever the technology was, it was literally sounded like Drake doing a whole rap.
02:09:55.980 There was a beat, rap.
02:09:57.360 It was, like, Sunday conversation.
02:09:58.840 Shout out, Caleb Glenn.
02:09:59.680 Like, all that.
02:10:00.740 So what could we put in right now?
02:10:02.240 Could we put something in AI?
02:10:03.880 We could put in, like, a prompt, like, a writing prompt.
02:10:07.320 Could we put, like, have Glennie Bowles give a wedding speech?
02:10:13.140 You could do something like that?
02:10:14.160 Yeah.
02:10:14.620 The chat GPT thing.
02:10:16.040 Yeah, that thing you can.
02:10:17.680 I experienced this for the first time, like, last month.
02:10:20.260 Yeah, we think a lot about this stuff.
02:10:21.900 It's just, like, I find that the stuff you get a lot of times, it just feels like a dumb version of something.
02:10:28.000 It feels like kind of a ripoff.
02:10:30.540 Of the AI stuff?
02:10:31.480 Of whatever you're creating.
02:10:32.360 Yeah, if I say, can I get a Glennie Bowles, like, restaurant review or whatever, it's like, uh.
02:10:36.780 Well, there's going to be no personality.
02:10:38.120 Right. 1.00
02:10:38.280 It's a goddamn computer doing it. 1.00
02:10:39.580 So I definitely get it. 0.99
02:10:41.280 But, I mean, if you want to, I feel like if you're writing in WorkToad, you can probably pull it off.
02:10:45.560 Like, we know when people start off work emails saying, kind regards.
02:10:48.720 What's your point?
02:10:49.400 Or, hey, all.
02:10:50.340 Stuff like that.
02:10:51.200 Maybe people like that, like, people working for tax firms can get away with it.
02:10:56.180 Right.
02:10:56.780 Do this.
02:10:57.400 Do these taxes, maybe?
02:10:58.580 Yeah, like a wedding speech right now.
02:10:59.800 If you're going to have me do a wedding speech, I want to imagine, actually, I'm going to be the best man at a wedding in October for the first time.
02:11:04.340 So I've got to give a speech.
02:11:05.340 I've been thinking about it.
02:11:06.420 I want to personalize it to the couple, you know?
02:11:08.540 Right.
02:11:08.980 I want to make it homey.
02:11:11.040 Let's see what it would be.
02:11:13.420 Do you want to read it?
02:11:14.260 I'll read it, yeah.
02:11:15.340 Yeah, I mean, read some.
02:11:16.260 Yeah.
02:11:17.220 Oh, wait, can you just go?
02:11:18.080 Sorry.
02:11:18.200 What's up, everybody?
02:11:19.360 It's your boy, Glennie Balls.
02:11:20.520 Today is a special day because we're here to celebrate the love between these two amazing people.
02:11:25.060 I feel honored to be standing here in front of all of you to give this speech, but let me tell you, I am a little nervous.
02:11:30.680 I mean, I'm used to being in front of cameras before, but this is a whole different ballgame.
02:11:34.500 First of all, I want to congratulate the happy couple.
02:11:36.480 You guys are awesome, and I'm so happy for you both.
02:11:38.980 I remember when you first told me about you two, and I could just tell right away that you were meant to be together.
02:11:42.980 You just have this connection, this spark that's undeniable, and now here you are about to embark on this amazing journey together as husband and wife.
02:11:52.160 To me, what does it feel like to you so far?
02:11:55.100 It feels like a cookie-cutter wedding speech.
02:11:59.520 And it goes, I have to admit, when I was asked to give this speech, I wasn't sure what to say.
02:12:03.100 I mean, what do you say at a wedding?
02:12:04.240 But then I realized it's actually pretty simple.
02:12:06.360 You just have to speak from the heart, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
02:12:09.140 Yeah, this keeps going.
02:12:09.760 Yeah, it sounds like somebody trying to get through an essay that has the original four good sentences.
02:12:15.900 As someone that has to do a best man speech in October, I might use this and just add a little bit, find different things I could put in there, because that does sound pretty damn good.
02:12:26.200 It's a good point, and now that's one thing about just life.
02:12:29.380 It's doing one in your voice now, in the voice of Theo Vaughn.
02:12:35.240 Because I think the more search someone has online, the better it's going to be at writing one.
02:12:41.320 Okay, I'll read the beginning.
02:12:42.320 Go back.
02:12:44.060 What's up, y'all?
02:12:44.640 It's your boy Theo Vaughn in the house.
02:12:46.740 Oh, it's a cat, dude.
02:12:47.780 That's horrible.
02:12:48.720 I've got to say, I'm honored to be here today celebrating the union of these two beautiful people.
02:12:52.480 Y'all know I've been to some wild weddings in my time, but this one takes the cake.
02:12:56.760 And speaking of cake, I hope there's going to be some good eats up in here tonight.
02:13:00.520 Jesus Christ.
02:13:01.320 Tell me it, brother.
02:13:02.240 I think I switched it. 0.99
02:13:03.080 Bro, they made me sound like a freaking black guy. 0.98
02:13:09.660 I mean, I appreciate that. 0.98
02:13:11.300 Dude, I love that.
02:13:12.220 I don't know if you hit shift B and freaking gave me the hashtag bold.
02:13:15.740 People send this stuff up.
02:13:16.820 I can say fans send in A.I. 1.00
02:13:19.300 Theo Vaughn voice every day.
02:13:21.320 Every single day.
02:13:21.760 To me, it's fine, but it's just like if you want.
02:13:25.500 But you're all right that it gives you the bare bones of something.
02:13:28.280 It feels like it'll give us a good talking point, a list of talking points.
02:13:31.500 And I literally may use that.
02:13:33.280 It's a nice bare bones way to start.
02:13:36.720 If I can marry it, I'll do it for vows.
02:13:38.400 I think you know.
02:13:39.120 This could definitely be a lot for if you're doing papers in college, if you're doing something
02:13:43.480 for the boss, like or, you know, some pretty generic stuff where all you're doing is just
02:13:47.880 kind of get checking a box anyway.
02:13:49.580 Where it should be literally sound computerized.
02:13:51.540 It's about to sound computerized.
02:13:52.720 Right.
02:13:53.500 100%.
02:13:53.860 That's a good call.
02:13:54.620 For anybody that's still having to do like just basic stuff that doesn't even really
02:13:58.000 matter, but it does because it's checking a box.
02:14:00.880 I feel like that could probably be really something of use to you.
02:14:04.200 But then more than ever, having some sort of personality is going to be a value.
02:14:09.120 Yeah, I mean, there's no reason why if I was doing a normal work, let's say I had to report
02:14:13.940 to a higher up after a good week of work, why don't I just put in there great week of
02:14:18.120 work for everybody on the team with Melissa, Kelsey, and Bill, and then just copy and paste
02:14:24.720 it, personalize it with myself, bing, bing, boom, send it out, I'm done.
02:14:27.520 Oh, every Civil War paper from school is going to be done here.
02:14:32.340 It's like any war, any history papers, it's a wrap.
02:14:35.340 Yeah, does it do like stuff like that?
02:14:37.800 Can you just write, can I have a 300 word summary of the Civil War?
02:14:41.920 Yeah.
02:14:42.740 Whoa.
02:14:43.540 They should do the sexual fantasy prompt to it and have it right for the kids. 0.96
02:14:47.900 See, now if you're on there though, and let's say someone on there is on there in Wisconsin
02:14:51.020 and types in the same exact thing, are you getting the same exact answer?
02:14:53.780 Well, let, yes, that's the problem.
02:14:55.840 Okay.
02:14:56.120 Let's do the sexual thing for the children. 1.00
02:14:59.240 And that's, somebody's going to clip that out. 0.80
02:15:02.080 That's going to be the bane of my existence. 0.96
02:15:05.340 Let's do the sexual thing for the children. 1.00
02:15:07.300 I'll go down with you. 1.00
02:15:08.540 Bro, no, we just fucking, bro, it's so hard to talk anymore because they're just, people 0.98
02:15:14.720 is just making everything out of any moment. 0.95
02:15:18.940 I have to manually write it because it's a screen grab.
02:15:21.300 I can't like copy and paste it.
02:15:22.680 So check back on this towards the end.
02:15:24.440 Give us another topic and then we'll get back to it at the end.
02:15:27.520 What else happened?
02:15:28.220 What's something big in the headlines?
02:15:30.740 Oh, wasn't, I saw that there's that Chinese sun.
02:15:33.320 Did you see that article somewhere, Zach?
02:15:36.300 You know what I'm talking about?
02:15:37.180 Yeah.
02:15:37.480 Chinese artificial sun breaks new world record by burning hot plasma for nearly seven minutes.
02:15:43.540 Now this is interesting. 0.99
02:15:44.520 That's some Spider-Man 2 type shit. 0.99
02:15:46.000 That's what Doc Ock was doing. 0.99
02:15:47.320 Get us to the beginning of it, Zach.
02:15:49.640 All right.
02:15:50.100 Yes, you read that correctly.
02:15:51.180 The country has a huge device.
02:15:52.800 China has a huge device that has been able to generate a plasma temperature of 160 million
02:15:57.740 degrees Celsius for 20 seconds in the past.
02:16:01.660 Right?
02:16:02.120 So that's as hot as the sun, right?
02:16:03.920 I would say so.
02:16:05.380 That does not sound good.
02:16:06.960 If not, it's still really hot.
02:16:08.420 But that's 20 seconds in the past.
02:16:10.280 Can you zoom up?
02:16:11.960 Zoom down?
02:16:12.500 Sorry.
02:16:12.700 According to the Global Times, the East performed a high power, stable, steady state, long pulse,
02:16:21.700 high confinement mode plasma operation for a whopping 703 seconds now.
02:16:28.160 That's like six minutes.
02:16:29.440 Yeah. 1.00
02:16:29.740 Holy shit. 1.00
02:16:31.180 Bro, can you imagine? 1.00
02:16:32.140 That's how long it takes me to drive to the fucking deli and stuff, dude. 1.00
02:16:34.740 That's fucking insane. 1.00
02:16:36.060 Yeah. 1.00
02:16:36.420 That's enough time for you to drive to a deli.
02:16:38.840 106 minutes?
02:16:40.280 So imagine, say, it's like, dude, if China makes a fake sun.
02:16:44.920 I mean, that's the biggest weapon on the planet by far, obviously.
02:16:48.560 Unreal.
02:16:48.920 You give me fake sun against nuclear weapon, I'm going fake sun.
02:16:52.120 What if the nuclear weapon theoretically just disintegrate into the fake sun?
02:16:56.680 Well, dude, imagine they send a fake sun to fight a real sun.
02:17:02.120 Marvel's out of business.
02:17:03.000 What, are we going to strike back with the moon?
02:17:04.640 No.
02:17:05.440 No, the moon, I think, is low-key.
02:17:07.220 Yeah, dog.
02:17:07.900 No disrespect, but he's, I've heard, you know.
02:17:11.260 I heard we're going back, though.
02:17:12.400 People said a lot of things about him, but.
02:17:14.800 Fire always beats ice, which is a problem for us.
02:17:16.940 And they're first to the jump on fire.
02:17:19.740 Bro, imagine, though, you're already working all day in China, and now they're like, guess
02:17:23.240 what?
02:17:23.460 The day's over.
02:17:24.120 We got another day.
02:17:26.340 The sun's back.
02:17:28.040 The sun's back. 0.99
02:17:29.300 People are like, what the fuck? 0.99
02:17:30.380 But it's not big enough to go to the whole country. 0.99
02:17:33.080 It's going to be like eating your town specifically.
02:17:35.240 Just two extra hours per town? 0.99
02:17:37.120 You're, Beijing's just getting fucked up tonight with my son. 0.98
02:17:39.980 And then it goes over and around even nowhere. 0.98
02:17:42.560 Bro, imagine all the school kids going to be like, you are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
02:17:48.620 Dude, get home.
02:17:49.320 It's going to change all the songs.
02:17:50.820 Dude, they can't have another song.
02:17:51.940 That would be unfair.
02:17:52.580 The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. 0.73
02:17:57.760 That turned the sun.
02:17:59.360 Yeah.
02:17:59.760 Two times.
02:18:00.680 But now spiders are going to be anywhere.
02:18:03.380 It's a tough day for owls in China, huh?
02:18:06.160 Yeah.
02:18:06.800 Yeah, dude.
02:18:08.340 Owls, dude.
02:18:09.240 Owls out.
02:18:10.300 Owl of business, bro.
02:18:11.640 It's a wrap.
02:18:12.800 What are some other nocturnal animals?
02:18:14.580 I don't know many. 0.99
02:18:15.300 But dude, if they have a fake fucking sun, Zach. 0.98
02:18:19.060 Yeah, it's kind of a checkmate. 0.98
02:18:21.340 I don't know what's bigger than a checkmate of a fake sun, which I guess theoretically is a real sun.
02:18:26.100 But when you can, right.
02:18:27.200 But when you can create your people to work 20, when you have like no night, when you can have people work all day and then have a second group of people.
02:18:35.880 So your GDP is going to double.
02:18:37.680 So you're saying this sun is more of it's going to get more people to work.
02:18:40.580 I'm thinking the sun itself, just having a second sun is a weapon in itself.
02:18:44.960 Yeah.
02:18:45.300 I mean, you could say like they don't want us to get any sleep.
02:18:47.820 That's their first.
02:18:48.520 It's like we all go to bed and they're like, guess what?
02:18:50.620 Nevada, here's a sun at night. 1.00
02:18:52.440 You're like, oh, shit. 1.00
02:18:53.820 Here comes the Chinese sun. 1.00
02:18:54.880 I'm envisioning this is just like a burning thing. 1.00
02:18:56.980 If they're just throwing a ball of 160 million temperature Celsius at us, we're kind of fucked. 0.96
02:19:03.120 I don't know if you could throw a sun. 0.95
02:19:05.280 Well, I think you send it.
02:19:06.800 Yeah.
02:19:07.500 I feel like it's a guess, right?
02:19:09.060 It's going to be sponsored by Happy Dad, I bet.
02:19:11.040 Maybe.
02:19:12.100 I have no idea.
02:19:14.180 I have the fantasy if you want to read it.
02:19:16.180 All right.
02:19:16.920 So I abridged it slightly, but it's just write a short story in a paragraph or two. 0.98
02:19:21.800 No penetration of any kind or oral sex. 0.98
02:19:24.120 Choose three items to use. 0.99
02:19:26.140 So if anyone wants to read it.
02:19:28.180 I want you to read it.
02:19:28.820 This is your world.
02:19:29.800 All right.
02:19:30.720 She walked dimly.
02:19:31.840 She walked to the dimly lit room.
02:19:33.420 And this is a child.
02:19:34.180 Sorry.
02:19:34.700 And I just want to preface.
02:19:35.540 I'm sorry to interrupt you.
02:19:36.220 This is a child, your student, writing this to you.
02:19:39.540 You are the substitute teacher or you are the teacher.
02:19:42.300 Yes.
02:19:42.900 And you've had the kids write this paper.
02:19:45.540 She walked into the dimly lit room wearing nothing but a silk robe and high heels.
02:19:49.740 As she approached the bed, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small
02:19:53.500 vibrating egg. 0.99
02:19:55.520 She turned it on and placed it on her on her clit, moaning softly on her CLIT as the 1.00
02:20:01.740 pleasure pulsed through her body. 0.99
02:20:03.600 Next, she picked up a feather and trailed it lightly over her skin, shivering at the
02:20:07.780 sensation.
02:20:08.200 Finally, she grabbed a bottle of warm oil and poured it over her B-R-E-A-S-T-S, rubbing
02:20:14.200 it in with her hands.
02:20:15.520 She closed her eyes and surrendered to the sensations, lost in her own pleasure.
02:20:19.700 Oh, sir, I need to go to the restroom. 1.00
02:20:21.520 Dude, I couldn't believe they dropped that four little word in there.
02:20:24.620 Bro, that, you know how many kids are in the hall fast?
02:20:28.220 Dude, that was, that was also, that was erotic. 0.94
02:20:31.400 GPT's horny. 0.96
02:20:32.320 Yeah. 0.99
02:20:32.880 That was, that AI guy is horny. 0.93
02:20:34.380 That was way more erotic than I think a lot of kids have turned it in.
02:20:36.580 But you know what is almost kind of nice about this?
02:20:39.880 The feather lightly over the skin.
02:20:41.720 You know, that is, this is something that I kind of miss.
02:20:45.240 I miss reading in the pornography magazine.
02:20:48.640 You would read the article, because all you had was an image.
02:20:50.940 So you had to read to make the image come to life, you know?
02:20:55.240 Yeah, the few, I will say the few times I've, no, I haven't been recently, but back in the 0.78
02:20:58.880 day, I was a bit of a Reddit jerk off guy.
02:21:00.800 And Reddit, there was a, there's like a whole thing called Gone Wild on Reddit where people 0.84
02:21:05.440 just like post nudes nonstop.
02:21:07.260 But I remember there was a Gone Wild, I forgot what it was called, maybe Gone Wild story or
02:21:12.920 something like that.
02:21:13.720 People would just write like erotic stories.
02:21:16.520 They're, they kind of get you going.
02:21:18.240 They rev you up. 1.00
02:21:19.460 Damn. 1.00
02:21:20.300 Oh yeah. 1.00
02:21:20.680 Well, there's something, yeah, you read it.
02:21:22.000 You're like, cause you know you have to get to the next sentence.
02:21:24.840 So your brain know you have to use your brain literally to get there.
02:21:29.080 Each word is another little moment and it's keeping you, dude, I mean, I remember I would
02:21:33.640 go to the library in our town and they had those, um, those art books from like the 1500s
02:21:41.500 or something.
02:21:41.800 Oh yeah.
02:21:42.540 With the, with the Rubenesque women. 0.98
02:21:46.300 Oh yeah.
02:21:47.120 The Rubenesque women. 0.70
02:21:47.780 Laying by a stream and there's a little angel above her.
02:21:50.140 Absolutely.
02:21:51.120 You know, when she's having a little, uh, little cut of pear, a little cut of apple or something.
02:21:55.720 Um, and she just got, you know, if that's your supply, you gotta get high on that supply. 1.00
02:22:00.220 Gosh, she's just all tit, bro. 0.96
02:22:01.800 Some of her tit is even heading for the riverbank. 0.99
02:22:04.040 You know, she's right on that riverbank where it's like, damn, that river's about to get 0.98
02:22:07.440 that tit. 0.98
02:22:08.240 I'm jealous, dude. 0.99
02:22:09.340 But yeah, I mean, that's a big thing with, I guess sex, if you're not actually having 0.53
02:22:12.820 sex, imagination of it is such a big deal.
02:22:15.360 And I guess through erotic stories, you just pop it off with imagination.
02:22:19.360 Well, that's kind of what I think the actual video pornography kills a lot of times.
02:22:23.720 And it's not a judgment against anybody that, I mean, I've, I've had addiction to it in
02:22:28.900 my life.
02:22:30.080 Um, but it does kill that part of your imagination.
02:22:33.740 The imagination is what activates your cells kind of.
02:22:37.560 I love the, I will actually say that people may think I'm lying here. 0.94
02:22:40.400 I would say probably half the time I masturbate. 0.96
02:22:42.980 I think I'm going imagination. 0.99
02:22:44.660 Wow.
02:22:45.560 Yeah.
02:22:46.180 Amen, brother. 0.99
02:22:47.000 I'll fucking. 0.99
02:22:47.660 Yeah. 0.99
02:22:48.080 Salute.
02:22:48.600 I enjoy the imagination. 1.00
02:22:49.960 Uh, masturbate. 1.00
02:22:51.040 I do. 0.99
02:22:51.240 Oh, dude, I used to take that book and I've discussed it before and I would literally
02:22:54.980 put a wiener in the book, in the library, in the library and close the book on it as
02:23:01.260 hard as I could.
02:23:02.460 That's what got you going?
02:23:04.700 Well, just, there was just something about just the pressure of it and I would, well,
02:23:09.280 it was so hard to find it because usually they had a picture of like a, bring up breast 0.73
02:23:12.980 up breast. 0.59
02:23:13.640 Oh, I guess it's the closest you could get to the, to the beautiful lady from 1400s.
02:23:17.640 Yeah.
02:23:17.980 Breast art from 1400s.
02:23:19.340 Bring it up.
02:23:19.680 That's very fair.
02:23:20.740 That's very, very fair.
02:23:22.260 Please.
02:23:23.120 So in your brain, you're just, you're just getting that as close as possible to the queen.
02:23:27.100 Oh, I would actually love to see one of these photos.
02:23:29.660 Yeah.
02:23:30.040 There we go.
02:23:31.320 Ooh, look at that lady. 1.00
02:23:33.120 But do by riverbank.
02:23:34.380 Oh yeah.
02:23:34.580 She's good.
02:23:35.060 Actually.
02:23:35.320 That's pretty.
02:23:35.700 That's not bad.
02:23:36.040 She looks cute.
02:23:37.340 There we go.
02:23:38.020 There's a couple of them.
02:23:38.760 I wonder how long the artist is sitting there doing this for.
02:23:40.960 I don't know, but I definitely, uh, and is she just sitting there topless the whole 1.00
02:23:47.080 time?
02:23:47.720 Yeah.
02:23:48.340 Yep.
02:23:48.980 And do by riverbank.
02:23:50.260 If you can.
02:23:56.860 Ooh, that's a party in the top left.
02:23:59.520 Yeah.
02:23:59.940 Now that's some angels in the woods.
02:24:01.220 Sometimes some of that was hard to find a breast in because of you just, I want the 0.95
02:24:05.160 immediate breast right by the river, you know, cause I think the river also offered a way
02:24:10.720 you felt like you could escape.
02:24:11.980 Once again, public.
02:24:13.180 Yeah.
02:24:13.720 Public point.
02:24:14.420 I want to see the tit and go.
02:24:15.480 I want to be on my way. 0.99
02:24:18.260 Um, but yeah, I would just close my body into that book because it was the only pornography
02:24:24.840 that we had.
02:24:25.580 It was what we had.
02:24:26.800 Yeah.
02:24:27.000 I mean, that earlier when you mentioning that, you would go five miles to get a, to get a, 0.98
02:24:30.760 your eyes and some porn. 0.97
02:24:31.840 Yeah. 0.99
02:24:31.920 That's all you got.
02:24:32.600 That's, that's fair.
02:24:34.020 And that was after that came out.
02:24:35.300 So this was the first thing that it was at the libraries, man, when you would see it
02:24:38.280 and it was good, man.
02:24:40.240 It's just the best dude.
02:24:40.860 There's not like I've, I've said many times on, on, uh, only stands.
02:24:43.880 There's not many better things. 0.94
02:24:45.520 Just seeing some boobs. 0.99
02:24:46.620 They're just awesome. 0.91
02:24:47.760 Yeah.
02:24:47.980 It's really just eases the soul.
02:24:50.160 He's the mind.
02:24:51.280 It's like finding a mystery, like finding the killer and who done it.
02:24:55.320 Just see what they look like.
02:24:56.860 It's like mother nature's nuts, dude. 0.99
02:24:58.680 Some good tits. 1.00
02:25:00.080 It's really the best. 0.99
02:25:01.260 It really is.
02:25:02.240 Nothing, no, no dispute.
02:25:04.500 Um, do you get a lot of invites to restaurants and stuff?
02:25:06.940 Do people do that a lot?
02:25:08.100 I feel like probably being a more Rubenesque male that a lot of people like come here,
02:25:12.280 come eat here.
02:25:13.120 You'll love this, but also having an appreciation for food.
02:25:15.880 That's what I should say.
02:25:16.740 Yeah.
02:25:16.760 There's, there's definitely, I'm sorry.
02:25:17.780 I'm not trying to.
02:25:18.420 No, dude, I don't care.
02:25:19.380 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm wearing my larger gentlemen.
02:25:20.780 No worries.
02:25:21.620 But I would say, um, yeah, I do get a good amount of food invites.
02:25:24.540 I don't always want to go though.
02:25:25.860 Cause there are some, there are sometimes where if you get invited somewhere, it's like an awkward
02:25:28.700 scenario.
02:25:29.160 Like you don't, you don't know.
02:25:30.060 I'm assuming you go through the same thing where you don't know, um, you don't know exactly
02:25:34.640 what's going to be presented to you.
02:25:36.680 So I don't, I don't do it all too often, but there's definitely been times like, uh, a guy
02:25:41.380 who I've seen like YouTube videos.
02:25:42.420 Actually, I was out in Manhattan on Friday and the owner of Peter Lugers, I saw, he saw
02:25:46.080 me and he was like, Oh, come in whenever you want.
02:25:47.340 Like that I'll do.
02:25:48.520 But there's, if there's a random place that I don't know other people, then maybe I won't.
02:25:52.260 Like yesterday, the cheese shop, uh, the guy, Dom, my friend knew.
02:25:55.440 So those are experiences that are, that are fun.
02:25:57.580 Obviously it's like verified.
02:25:59.300 I also don't know if a lot of restaurants, I don't know if the food's good because most
02:26:02.100 of the people who DM me are, people are employees of the restaurants.
02:26:04.260 What if they're obviously going to say their food's good.
02:26:06.080 Right.
02:26:06.580 What if the food's not actually good?
02:26:08.000 And then, yeah, it's awkward.
02:26:10.220 What, um, what, uh, do you think you'll ever end up maybe doing a food show or something
02:26:15.440 like that?
02:26:15.740 It would kind of fit, huh?
02:26:16.600 Maybe.
02:26:16.780 I would love to.
02:26:17.420 That's like, that's that, I guess that would kind of be the goal.
02:26:19.540 I just, I like food TV.
02:26:21.040 I really enjoy it.
02:26:22.120 I, uh, I mean, I used to do a burger show at work for quite a while.
02:26:24.680 There was a good period of like maybe three years where I was just not doing that great
02:26:27.800 at work and I was always doing a burger show and I enjoyed it, but I probably did.
02:26:31.120 I don't think I was that good at describing the burgers.
02:26:35.680 I would like to see now that I'm so much more comfortable in front of a camera, how I would
02:26:39.120 redo it and just make it more bag.
02:26:40.980 I would just put it down.
02:26:41.520 I basically do like a Dave Pete's review, but with burgers, I'm definitely, it was just
02:26:45.300 wildly less successful, obviously.
02:26:47.560 But if I ever did a food show, I would like to do way more, like high, more higher produced,
02:26:52.300 maybe trying more different cuisines that I haven't tried.
02:26:54.420 And a lot of intrigue in that, like Indian food, I would like to dive into maybe some
02:27:00.320 Thai.
02:27:01.260 Oh yeah.
02:27:02.300 I'm really enjoying Mediterranean food.
02:27:04.600 Yeah.
02:27:05.220 Stuff like that.
02:27:06.180 Just expanding the old pallet.
02:27:07.620 So I'd be, I would definitely do a food show at the time for the time that we're doing
02:27:10.220 ice cream and only fans, but maybe down the road, I would, I do love food.
02:27:13.840 Yeah.
02:27:13.920 You got a pallet for it, man.
02:27:15.020 And that's nice because some people, their tongue, they really, it's a, it's got more, uh,
02:27:20.300 intel in it.
02:27:21.100 Yeah.
02:27:21.660 When I got, when I had COVID, I couldn't taste it and that kind of stunk.
02:27:25.000 Yeah.
02:27:25.280 That was horrible.
02:27:26.800 Did you, um, we might've talked about everything.
02:27:30.900 We've been here a while, three hours.
02:27:33.320 Yeah.
02:27:34.960 Um, did you ever been to a live taping of an only fans or pornography shoot?
02:27:42.640 Dude, I have not.
02:27:44.180 There's, is that something you would do or not?
02:27:46.460 I think I, I don't really see the allure.
02:27:49.560 There are some girls I know in LA right now, they're actually trying to get me to go to 1.00
02:27:52.040 one tomorrow, but I got to leave.
02:27:53.420 I got to leave tomorrow.
02:27:54.260 So I'm not going to go, but they keep telling me to come with so much fun.
02:27:56.620 I don't really see the, the allure of it. 0.96
02:27:59.020 Like if I'm not doing the fucking, I don't, why do I want to see somebody else do it? 0.96
02:28:02.620 Yeah. 0.97
02:28:03.060 So I don't really see the allure there and I'm assuming it's awkward.
02:28:06.560 I mean, I've, for every porn person I've talked to, they make it seem like it's a pretty
02:28:10.640 professional setting.
02:28:11.680 It doesn't sound fun to go to.
02:28:14.380 There's no wanting in my brain to want to go to a porn set.
02:28:16.880 I would, I don't want to, I like to see how the cookie gets crumbled in a kitchen.
02:28:20.440 Maybe not on the porn set.
02:28:21.620 I'll enjoy the porn.
02:28:22.420 I'll need to see how it's made. 0.75
02:28:23.500 Yeah.
02:28:24.100 Yeah.
02:28:24.700 Yeah.
02:28:25.100 Yeah.
02:28:25.320 I feel you, man.
02:28:26.520 Um, I don't think the actors want us there either.
02:28:29.160 Yeah.
02:28:29.480 I think it's probably, yeah.
02:28:30.700 I don't know if you were sitting over there.
02:28:32.540 I don't want to be like, say you're chewing gum or something and they look over and they're
02:28:36.340 like, you know, then what?
02:28:39.680 Yeah.
02:28:39.960 They're getting, you're talking in their shot, talking in their backswing.
02:28:42.940 Yeah.
02:28:43.320 Or just like, yeah. 0.99
02:28:44.120 And you blow a cum shot. 0.99
02:28:45.700 Oh, bro. 0.99
02:28:46.300 Never want to blow a cum shot. 0.99
02:28:47.800 Then you got to restart. 0.99
02:28:49.600 Oh. 0.96
02:28:50.200 Or you cheer when somebody ejaculates. 0.59
02:28:52.520 See, that would be kind of cool actually.
02:28:53.980 Yeah.
02:28:54.140 If there's a live audience.
02:28:55.800 Like there, that's the thing though.
02:28:56.740 If you want to do a live. 0.76
02:28:57.220 You yell go bills when somebody ejaculates. 0.81
02:28:58.240 Yeah.
02:28:58.900 If someone jumps over a table.
02:29:00.580 I mean, you guys want to see, I mean, I bet they, not that I bet, I would guarantee
02:29:04.180 you.
02:29:04.400 But porn companies that live audiences are porns, they would pack it out.
02:29:09.020 That's a great point, huh?
02:29:10.600 That could be what's next.
02:29:11.940 Yeah.
02:29:12.580 Yeah.
02:29:13.040 You never know.
02:29:13.920 You never know what's next.
02:29:15.180 Thanks for stopping into this cheese shop, bro.
02:29:17.500 Oh, dude.
02:29:17.960 Thank you very much for having me.
02:29:18.880 This was a great time.
02:29:19.660 I appreciate it.
02:29:20.140 Yeah, man.
02:29:20.420 I had a great time.
02:29:21.100 Thank you so much.
02:29:21.360 Yeah, thanks for hanging out and just good to get to spend time with you, man.
02:29:24.440 Yeah.
02:29:24.760 I know we both love Caleb and getting to spend time around him and.
02:29:28.540 Yeah.
02:29:28.740 He's our friend diagram.
02:29:29.900 Yeah.
02:29:30.160 He's our little guy in the middle.
02:29:31.620 Yeah.
02:29:32.380 There's something about him.
02:29:33.100 I hope he stays alive, too.
02:29:34.400 Same, dude.
02:29:35.240 I hope all three of us stay alive.
02:29:36.840 That would suck if we didn't. 0.95
02:29:37.720 And if we die soon, this clip will kind of pop off, I guess. 0.77
02:29:41.940 So, hey.
02:29:43.080 But, yeah.
02:29:44.040 Yeah, I guess, you know.
02:29:45.340 If it happens.
02:29:46.520 If it happens, dude.
02:29:47.680 Dude, I love you guys.
02:29:50.020 Yeah, I love you guys.
02:29:51.020 And I guess my parents could have the money I have. 0.87
02:29:54.360 I don't fucking know. 0.92
02:29:54.880 Whatever. 0.95
02:29:55.380 Yeah, yeah.
02:29:55.840 I think they can.
02:29:56.560 How's your mother doing?
02:29:57.400 Is she good?
02:29:57.940 Yeah, she's hanging.
02:29:58.760 Yeah.
02:29:58.940 Is she still smoking or not?
02:30:00.260 Yeah.
02:30:00.840 Trying to get her off the old smoking, dude. 0.99
02:30:03.300 She loves to smoke.
02:30:04.080 Yeah.
02:30:04.540 Happens, though.
02:30:05.580 I don't know.
02:30:06.180 That's the only thing I've ever done.
02:30:07.120 I've never smoked cigarettes.
02:30:08.820 Yeah.
02:30:09.360 Good for you.
02:30:09.980 My friends say the drunk cigarette, though, was super enticing.
02:30:12.900 I've never done it.
02:30:15.300 Yeah.
02:30:15.860 It was all pretty good when I had them.
02:30:18.360 Yeah.
02:30:19.620 Glennie Balls, thanks for coming in, man.
02:30:20.940 Dude, thank you again.
02:30:21.780 Appreciate it.
02:30:22.200 It was great.
02:30:22.680 Thanks, brother.
02:30:23.560 Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
02:30:26.280 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
02:30:29.160 I must be cornerstone.
02:30:34.480 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
02:30:39.980 I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to take a living.