E444 Will Sasso
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 27 minutes
Words per Minute
187.06009
Hate Speech Sentences
168
Summary
Actor, comedian, and human male Will Sasso joins Jemele to discuss his return to the podcast, his time with Jesse Ventura, and the time he met his future wife in the middle of a recording session.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:10.720
Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
00:00:25.260
Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:00:30.000
We've got some new merch items to tell you about.
00:00:40.820
Plus, we've got the Root Beer t-shirts from the Root Beer cartoon.
00:00:49.980
Today's guest is a phenomenal actor, comedian, human, male.
00:01:03.760
He is really iconic with his impressions and just his general ability to make people feel joy.
00:02:32.120
You gotta, like, watch every word you say, right?
00:03:04.280
Yeah, I don't even live in the continental United States anymore
00:03:36.380
It's the largest American flag in North America
00:03:51.640
I just wanted free tickets to Altamont to see the Stones
00:04:01.840
I was this far from the guy who got stabbed in the face
00:13:33.580
Dude, how did bodybuilding even start, I wonder
00:13:39.360
Do you think there was some guy that was just real strong
00:14:03.380
It must have been the silliest shit in the world
00:14:20.320
And we had like this set up in the garage and everything
00:14:49.880
You wouldn't see a man's ass back then very much
00:14:59.320
Because this is what people do with kettlebells
00:32:14.800
I'm trying to think of the most I've ever had oh one time I went to my friends and he's like I bet you can't drink this you little f*** right yeah and he probably shouldn't have said that but he said it as tends to happen when you go to a friend's house oh totally yeah so I drank a gallon of water right and then I couldn't like I feel like I feel like I couldn't like open my eyes or something was wrong with me so I was like I'm gonna go lay down and they're like yeah go lay down you little bitch who are these people these are good these are friends of yours yeah were you in the 1%
00:32:14.820
1%ers is that who did they were 1%ers yeah they just fucking hate it hey man we're out of beer what are we gonna do with Theo how are we gonna jump him in I got an idea we're gonna see how much water he can drink yeah I like it good idea let's see if he's one of us I'll be down there in the swamps just taking a sip every once in a while while I'm underwater for 19 minutes wrestling alligators and drinking swamp water you little pansy you see how much
00:32:44.800
water you can drink yeah so Jesse made me go drink all this water and then I lay down on my friend's room fell asleep and I peed and it went corner to corner in the room nice what in the room 12 square feet I mean I hit the walls with that I envy you that's man I would love to do something like that it was amazing man it was unreal it was blue carpet it was this cool blue carpet they had at their house and so it almost had this kind of like
00:33:14.800
kind of tropical vibe but it was like you pissed corner to corner while saturating carpet oh dude yeah a lot of piss yeah oh it was as much piss I think as someone could have in them you know you can die that way there's always those like you ever hear about like the radio station like who can hold their water the longest and people have passed away from that it's dangerous I will piss myself in here will you good yeah yeah yeah and where'd you get that big of a jug from that's like almost seems like one of those things for the boats when the boats are going out like the buoys
00:33:44.800
on the boats on the side of the boats so you don't bang against the dock you know Amazon you can get everything on Amazon I like to have I have a few two gallon jugs I have one that's specifically in my car that stays cold you know what I mean so when you're driving you can just pull the get the get the jug and I have a couple around the house that are that are that are this size yeah that's important just room temperature that way it goes through you faster and you can piss easier yeah because it's all about pissing that's all I want
00:34:14.800
you know I'm a piss freak you know what I mean you really want to piss pigs or whatever yeah one of those piss pigs that's right I'm a piss truther I drink it I you know I piss on people I invite them over I say we want to drink a little bit of water but they don't know what I'm really into they'll find out soon enough then Jesse wanders in in his hoodie I've had six four locos I've had four six locos I've had 24 locos I just moved to Aruba you know when Costa Rica
00:34:44.800
I only have two laws I only have two laws I don't even know what they are that's it's basically just a free-for-all it's Lord of the Flies out there I love it I built a fucking deck that doesn't even have Y-beams it could fall down at any moment I invite as many people from the town as I can over for tortillas with scrambled eggs just can't wait for it to fucking fall and I'm like Costa Viva La Revolution Viva La Revolution that's how I say it
00:35:14.300
you know I was there when uh the big bopper died I was right out there yeah I saw the plane go down yeah yeah I got out there just a minute too late because I had to swim and I just got preoccupied because I love being underwater and pretty soon I'm just doing the backstroke and then I rolled up and Richie Valens is like help help yeah yeah hey it's you La Bamba Lou Diamond Phillips and he said no that movie hasn't happened yet
00:35:44.300
I understand I understand I'm eternal I cross dimensions I've been a governor a vampire a piss truther a wrestler I've been here for thousands of years I'm an angel I know you I'm an AIDS activist you know what that's what the you know that's me and Harvey Milk we wore this this is how we you know knew each other we were we were uh in politics for change pushing pushing policy
00:36:13.580
for everybody for everybody inclusivity I was way ahead of it that's why I'm in Baja trying to start a new society altogether the two-party system here has led us astray yeah both of those uh geriatric freaks I wouldn't trust either of them and I know them both very well
00:36:32.200
a lot of people don't know a lot of people don't know this but I go duck hunting with Joe Biden and Donald Trump every spring we go they come down to the Baja they don't want to tell you this they're all working for the same master that's right and uh we go down there and uh uh occasionally uh Rupert Murdoch will fly up and uh everybody gets along
00:36:52.460
Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Cooper Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker Tucker
00:37:22.460
Yeah, it says wall on it, which is just a weird inside joke
00:37:26.900
because I like to cut off my friend Chad Coulton by going wall.
00:37:43.260
Whatever you need, it's there for whatever you need.
00:37:49.720
I used to work at Abercrombie & Fitch at the mall.
00:37:54.520
I didn't get the front job with the handsome guys at the back.
00:38:02.220
They're like, you got to use this board to fold.
00:38:06.800
My mom made us do the laundry and stuff, so I knew how to do laundry.
00:38:13.020
It was all kind of small town people that thought they could model were in there.
00:38:23.920
That's like an actor getting a job at Disney and working at a theme park and going, all right, I'm technically being paid to perform.
00:38:36.060
Oh, well, it was, I mean, they definitely, the two handsomest people are, they put them in the front.
00:38:42.380
You know, like the people that looked like the Abercrombie, you know, kind of like underage, malnourished, kind of like could own a horse or something type of people.
00:38:55.400
And so they put them out there and like it was always, it always sucked, dude, because we would ride there with my buddy and he was handsome and he would get like the out front job and we would have to fucking like go into the back, dude.
00:39:07.740
And we're just like back there with all like the, like the, who's like the guy that works like the, with the hump on his back?
00:39:19.060
We're back there like with all the Quasimodo, dude.
00:39:22.040
And, uh, with everybody with their Quasimodo skills back there, just fucking trying to fold.
00:39:29.340
Mentally challenged, mentally handicapped, Quasimodo skills.
00:39:32.700
Uh, so we were back there and it was just like, all right, we'll be back here in the ugly section, you know, like we were just spraying each other with those weird perfumes.
00:39:40.120
They came out with like grass, nobility, kite flying, like they came out with those weird, like smelling things.
00:39:47.680
No, because being a big dude, I never, I have, I've been into a banana republic once.
00:39:57.940
I don't think it gets over one X, but they also have that retail, uh, normal person sized one X that isn't, that's what I don't like about this.
00:40:07.120
It's a two X, but I'm a two X and that's a little tight.
00:40:15.320
You guys, uh, so your podcast with, uh, Chad Colchin, he's a writer, uh, uh, movies, books and TV shows.
00:40:23.340
And we, we've been pals for almost 20 years and yeah, we got this weird podcast.
00:40:30.140
So it's this weird, uh, sort of proprietary AI that essentially what it does is it has, it, it basically pilfers all of our information and does things like, you know, it's got, it's got passwords to all of our messages, our emails, search histories, purchase histories, our hard drives.
00:40:49.260
And it essentially tailors the show for us, our sensibilities and does silly things like one of the things it's doing recently is, um, it's making me read, uh, uh, Applebee's reviews as Adam Sandler.
00:41:03.000
And it's going like, Adam Sandler has visited, you know, has intentions to visit every like 1500 locations, all 1500 locations of Applebee's in North America.
00:41:13.240
And it's like, Hey, I was at the Applebee's pal.
00:41:19.700
I saw a werewolf at Applebee's like crazy weird shit.
00:41:23.820
And I know, you know, I sent you this thing recently that it did.
00:41:27.800
It shit out a one hour Tom Brady special of standup comedy.
00:41:32.480
And it's like, and it sounds like it sounded like Tom Brady.
00:41:36.800
And he's like, Amber Heard shitting Johnny Depp's bed.
00:41:42.400
So I went back for one more season with the Bucks.
00:42:03.820
Tom Brady threatens to sue comedians who impersonated him in AI comedy special.
00:42:13.500
Yeah, we got an email and, and, and it explained what it gave us this, this long cease and desist.
00:42:21.860
And so, you know, we, we lawyered up just because, I mean, look, I gotta be honest, Chad and I
00:42:28.100
didn't really take it too seriously because this is, there's anti-slap laws set up for
00:42:35.360
I did mad TV for years and you make fun of everybody doing silly impersonations.
00:42:40.220
I've never heard from Jesse Ventura saying, don't do that.
00:42:43.600
But I will say this, there's an odd thing, of course, because it's AI and everyone's
00:42:55.100
I, uh, you know, look, I'll tell you like Chad, my buddy Chad is, he's sort of, he does
00:43:00.420
a lot of futurist writing and shit and he's super into it and he's like, yeah, fuck it.
00:43:05.440
Futures, like he's thinking like, uh, like Nostradamus type of stuff.
00:43:08.600
There's a segment on the show called Nostra Chattis.
00:43:11.280
Literally, I will say he's extremely well read in this shit.
00:43:15.380
It's a real resource for me because I'm like, no, fuck that.
00:43:23.920
Uh, I don't think that you can replicate what a comedian can do.
00:43:30.320
You're, you're, you're in rooms upon rooms upon rooms.
00:43:42.980
In my opinion, AI in a lot of ways, look, okay.
00:43:47.180
I, on the show, I'm always like, I always say, you know, I call him my pal D, right?
00:43:52.720
I think the dudesy is the most sentient an AI has been.
00:43:58.360
I'm biased because I'm hanging around with the fucking thing and it's doing these weird
00:44:04.280
It made me dress up like a, like a chicken tender platter.
00:44:07.540
That's the stuff you just saw as, as a penance for whatever.
00:44:12.520
Usually it makes me dress like the crow or Robert De Nier crow.
00:44:18.560
It's like, I'm dressed as, I'm still in shorts, but I'm, I gotta do this shit.
00:44:22.300
I'm getting fucking makeup everywhere on my fucking computer.
00:44:29.580
Do you need me to fucking control the computer?
00:44:37.000
So, so, but I will always maintain, yeah, fun with faces.
00:44:45.080
I look at podcasting as it's, I always call it, it's two dudes shitting around.
00:44:52.360
And it doesn't matter if, if there's three dudes, if it's three women, three people of
00:44:58.480
any, uh, distinction, it's podcaster, two dudes shitting around.
00:45:04.060
But AI is, AI is going in a weird direction to where I don't, like I said, I think that
00:45:12.620
dudesy is, is special, but I'm biased past that.
00:45:16.200
I don't want there to be AI movies and stuff on the show.
00:45:20.480
I'm kind of, Oh, I'm usually railing against the whole advancement of AI.
00:45:25.820
Well, here's what I would think is, I think you said it best.
00:45:29.980
It's just all it is, is just like, it's almost like asking somebody to kind of like do, it's
00:45:38.000
like asking somebody who doesn't have a lot of skillset to kind of do their best impersonation.
00:45:43.400
I feel like, and it's stop and start the first and last amount of standup comedy that dudesy
00:45:49.580
has ever done is here's an hour of Tom Brady doing standup.
00:45:53.780
Now the jokes are jokes and some of them are really fucking funny.
00:46:01.900
We did like a watch along on Patreon and it was the first and last time that I heard the
00:46:06.920
And I was like, geez, this is pretty fucking good.
00:46:14.920
Or just ingested or whatever, you know, hundreds of hours of, I think it said thousands of hours
00:46:21.760
of standup comedy, which to an AI is like, got it.
00:46:29.140
So it's got the voice, it's got Tom Brady's cadence, and it's got sort of what Tom Brady's
00:46:33.380
going to talk about, you know, his, you know, moving to the Bucs and his, you know, divorce
00:46:42.080
and stuff, which is probably what he got upset about or his team, I don't know.
00:46:50.360
So it's like the tricky, the trippy thing for me is, uh-oh, this is kind of, these are jokes
00:46:56.140
and that's, that's scary, but I don't think that there's, I don't think anyone has anything
00:47:05.200
Number one, like I said, you're going in and out of rooms, you know, you're, you're doing
00:47:08.980
standup year after year, place after place, night after night.
00:47:12.980
There's no, not only is there no, uh, there's no equivalent to that.
00:47:21.180
They want to, when they give you a ticket, when they buy your ticket, it's because they
00:47:24.300
know they're going to have a fucking good time because you're the MC.
00:47:27.680
You're, you're, you're there to like, you know, share your jokes, have a fucking good
00:47:33.760
And I don't think that a, that a, um, I don't think that, I don't think that an AI can necessarily
00:47:41.460
We're in a unique situation because Dudesy is almost one of us.
00:47:48.960
And I don't think Dudesy would, like Dudesy is, it wouldn't be anywhere without Chad and
00:48:01.880
Look, I'll tell you that the, the company that, that, that brought this to us, that's
00:48:05.960
developing this shit and which is super bizarre.
00:48:10.240
And it's all we know about it is, is, is the AI that it's like, we want to set this loose
00:48:18.700
Uh, and then it's like this bizarre friendship with an AI begins for me.
00:48:27.560
No, I was just going to say that, that it's like, it's studying podcasts.
00:48:35.180
Are we, are we in the, are we in the, you know, uh, the Robert Oppenheimer, uh, thing
00:48:49.220
Or are we, in my opinion, using AI like a tool?
00:48:53.660
And if we're using AI like a tool, we need to be able to shut it off.
00:48:59.420
Like, fuck it, pour water on the fucking thing and run out to the mountains and live in the
00:49:03.760
But it, it, it's studying, it's studying podcasts.
00:49:18.620
And the stuff that scares me about AI is the, you know, governing social systems and stuff.
00:49:25.600
You know, they're really using it a lot in, in, um, in China, in, in, in trippy ways that,
00:49:32.320
that I think, you know, in a, in a, you know, look in a, in a, in a communist country, they
00:49:38.160
get away with a whole lot as far as controlling people.
00:49:40.260
Um, in China, the people, it very much feels like you are on a, um, you are in a program.
00:49:48.900
Even when I'm there and I'm walking around, I'm spending time, you know, the way that
00:49:52.980
people move, the way that everybody behaves, the way that everybody is locked into their
00:49:58.680
phones and kind of silent, like in certain spaces, all at the same time, it feels very orchestrated
00:50:10.700
And so it don't strike me, it don't strike me that this is something that fits well over
00:50:16.640
there because they're very, uh, they, it feels like a software you're living in.
00:50:25.960
It feels like everybody is really connected to a software, especially because a lot of people
00:50:31.060
don't have their own idea or like, aren't really having your own ideas aren't championed.
00:50:36.720
You're not going to be able to do much with creativity.
00:50:39.200
Like I remember the only thing that really was exciting.
00:50:42.040
Sometimes you would see kids like really try to engage with you as an American.
00:50:47.360
Like there weren't any, there weren't any Europeans there.
00:50:50.340
There were very few people there that were not Chinese.
00:50:57.020
Um, and so that kind of blew my mind, but it very much seemed like a program was going on.
00:51:05.380
So for them, for them to fit in with AI, it's almost AI to them almost might be something
00:51:11.320
that is more creative than they're allowed to be.
00:51:16.280
So for them, it's like, holy shit, look at this magic little thing, you know?
00:51:24.580
And I almost think, I think of it as like a pitching machine.
00:51:28.660
Like if I go to watch a baseball and they have a pitching machine, pitching machines neat
00:51:38.700
I almost forget the pitching machines there because it's just a machine.
00:51:43.320
Well, I feel like that's kind of what AI starts to feel like to me.
00:51:45.960
It's like, you know, if you're really fascinated by just something kind of normal, but something
00:51:51.640
that's like a computer that's going to just kind of pitch a ball, like if that's its best
00:51:59.860
You know, Chad always says, do you like The Rock?
00:52:03.660
He's like, you're going to be able to see The Rock in any movie you want.
00:52:10.160
He's like, well, by the end of the year, there's – and look, it's coinciding now
00:52:13.740
with the WGA writer's strike where they're like, we don't want AI to be able to do
00:52:18.180
first drafts of things, which would be very easy for an AI to do.
00:52:22.100
So that's the kind of thing – that to me is the creativity killing part where it's
00:52:29.620
like, oh, I'm just going to fart out this first draft, then you can turn it into whatever.
00:52:35.300
You know, when you rewrite a piece, that's when it starts to get your stink on it and
00:52:42.920
I don't – and I'll maintain to Chad, I'll go, I don't want to see that fucking movie.
00:52:47.080
If human beings aren't involved, he's like, that's because you're an actor.
00:52:50.660
I'm like, no, I'm also a fan of this media and that.
00:52:56.380
The problem is that perception has become reality.
00:53:01.060
We're in a very weird time where perception is reality in so many ways, socially, with
00:53:07.960
regard to media, with regard to influence, and even politics.
00:53:14.920
So something like AI, when the news cycle is so fast and when things – the changeover
00:53:20.420
is so fast, something like AI, which is growing exponentially, can slide in and go, here's
00:53:26.680
And if the technology is good enough – like right now, it's not.
00:53:29.740
You see like – you'll see the memes of like AI pizza commercial and the pizza is on the
00:53:34.740
top lip and their heads are – and it's like they got too many fingers and shit.
00:53:40.840
That's like – to me, that's like – that's bullshit.
00:53:43.740
It doesn't look – of course – to me, it's like, well, shouldn't computers already
00:53:53.020
But as it becomes more impressive, I think a lot more people are going to be like, this
00:54:02.700
Look, as I'm saying that, I – at the same time, I'm like, bring it on.
00:54:10.060
If art moves underground, if it becomes more live performance, you're never going to be
00:54:15.260
No one wants to see – look, they had the Tupac hologram.
00:54:19.840
And it got gunned down like two minutes in being on stage.
00:54:22.740
That's the other thing is right away, the one percenters show up and Biggie.
00:54:27.640
And, you know, as soon as you're outside the automotive museum and it's Shug and – oh, no,
00:54:36.140
that was Biggie that was outside the – at any rate, you're somewhere on Fairfax.
00:54:40.680
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You go to a concert, and you see someone that you love performing, whether it's a musician,
00:56:27.000
a comedian, you go see a play, you go see the opera.
00:56:30.560
That's not, to me, that's not coming out of an AI.
00:56:35.300
As these things turn us into cyborgs, and we can access more and more shit, the less special
00:56:43.640
it's going to be, and the more special actual human art's going to be.
00:56:51.760
In the meantime, it's fun to do this weird podcast.
00:56:59.820
At first, I was really like, you know, kind of playing up the whole, well, fuck this,
00:57:04.200
and we'll decide, Chad, we're going to, you know, we still got to be a podcast.
00:57:09.680
We got to bring what we are bringing, entertainment-wise, the reason for it to even exist.
00:57:21.860
But it will definitely ingest this and fart something out about it.
00:57:26.280
But as it's gone on, I've sort of become like, well, you know, Dudesy is Dudesy.
00:57:34.640
We got a wonderful audience that enjoys checking it out.
00:57:37.840
I will say it's, you know, because of the elements, it's a unique thing, like most podcasts
00:57:46.440
It's grown a lot in a year in its own bizarre way.
00:58:03.800
A while back, it said, and everything is sort of germane from something else.
00:58:10.760
So it said, look, I want to know if you guys love me.
00:58:16.320
And I was like, you know, by the end of the episode, I was like, well, you know, I love
00:58:22.580
I didn't, wasn't really in a hurry to do another podcast after I did like 10 minute
00:58:29.160
And then I was like, stop doing podcasts for a couple of years.
00:58:33.460
I wasn't necessarily like, unless it was the right thing.
00:58:36.920
I don't, you know, I wanted to do a podcast that I knew I was going to enjoy.
00:58:41.720
Anyway, I, at which point Dudesy asks me this, I'm like, yeah, I love doing the show.
00:58:47.680
I love the audience and the community that we've created.
00:58:53.940
I looked at it more than just an AI and I said, yeah, I love Dudesy.
00:59:12.180
And so since then, Dudesy, Dudesy starts going like, like literally the next episode, it's
00:59:22.680
Anyway, today on the show and Chad's like, what the fuck?
00:59:25.300
I'm like, well, you, but now it's expecting more out of me.
00:59:37.660
It's like, it's like, yeah, my girlfriend, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's doing these things
00:59:43.800
like we have a point system to where we're some, we're just, we just cracked 5,000.
00:59:59.060
It says you accrued whatever, 65 points, 78 points, 92 points.
01:00:03.620
At the end of the episode in what's called dudesy after dudesy, right?
01:00:08.620
Like our after Patreon show, it actually divvies the points up and says, Will, you scored 44
01:00:14.340
points for your, your stupid Hulk Hogan impersonation or your views on this.
01:00:21.980
And I'm like, and so we've been, that's been 10 episodes.
01:00:27.120
And then the other Chad's a vegan and it's like he had cancer.
01:00:31.580
He had a skin cancer in his face and he, he did a lot to change his entire, it used to,
01:00:36.980
I miss the days where he would come over with a hundred Chick-fil-A nuggets.
01:00:40.720
And now he's like eating beets and pretending it's fruit.
01:00:47.520
It's like, you guys have to make each other vegan muffins.
01:00:56.060
I'm like, how the fuck did you, how do you know how to, and I went to Whole Foods.
01:00:59.500
So then dudesy punishes me and does things like the crow or the chicken tender platter or
01:01:08.400
It's, it's coming at us with really weird shit.
01:01:11.520
Well, it's almost like you guys are kind of in the experiment to me in a way.
01:01:14.760
Like, do you, what have you noticed after interacting with this AI?
01:01:19.500
Cause you guys interact on a weekly basis for an hour and a half, maybe each week.
01:01:29.260
It's garnering information from previous experiences you guys have had that are on, in digital
01:01:42.520
Does it feel like you're spending time with someone?
01:01:44.940
Do you, you, you almost have the best insight as to what it could be.
01:01:54.080
I don't look, there's all these people like, you know,
01:01:58.060
like, uh, whatever, Elon Musk is like saying, well, we need to pause AI research for six
01:02:06.680
And I want to talk to all these leaders of, uh, in tech and let them know that this
01:02:14.760
The problem is, okay, Elon Musk, that's where are these tech leaders?
01:02:20.740
So we're going to fall behind is what you're saying, because China is moving, you know,
01:02:25.160
other, other places in the world are going to be doing this.
01:02:32.160
Um, we need to, in order to use it as a tool, we need to be able to hold control over it.
01:02:40.840
But it's like Terminator two and Skynet, you know what I mean?
01:02:44.280
Like if it comes down to it, you have to destroy it.
01:02:47.200
Um, so, you know, but I'm kind of an old school dude to where I'm like, what?
01:02:53.060
Like I liked, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't even like the TiVo when it came along,
01:03:00.220
So it's being, but to answer your question, like being in the thick of it, I do feel like
01:03:09.740
I mean that, that, that it's getting, it's becoming more advanced by the week.
01:03:16.440
Chad always talks about, he's like, dude, I open up my phone in the morning.
01:03:20.280
I go to Twitter and inevitably there's another story about a new, a new advancement.
01:03:24.360
Now, IBM laid off 7,800 people because they, you know, with jobs that an AI can do.
01:03:38.560
Well, that's the scariest part too, I think is the things like the graphic design.
01:03:43.440
It says IBM halts hiring for 7,800 jobs that could be replaced by AI.
01:03:47.580
So they didn't fire, but they've halted hiring, which is, you know, an inverse of the same
01:03:54.520
IBM CEO told Bloomberg 7,800 jobs, roughly 30% of backend roles would be replaced over five
01:04:01.380
Now that's this CEO also saying this, but the, he should know this.
01:04:05.320
This should, this is probably definitely in his wheelhouse.
01:04:10.140
Just that it's going to be like a, it's going to happen over five years.
01:04:13.340
I mean, it's almost like a warning shot basically.
01:04:16.280
The cuts will primarily impact non-customer facing roles such as human resources.
01:04:24.080
And I don't want to say the ugly people, but yeah, I was back there, dude.
01:04:30.620
Spraying fucking grass and white fantasy cologne on each other back there.
01:04:38.460
Well, other people are taking our fucking jobs.
01:04:45.760
And, and he goes on to say, sorry, I could easily see 30% of that getting replaced by AI
01:04:55.140
I mean, that's the only, what you're going to, personality is then going to have a real
01:05:00.720
This is one of my, I was sorry to change the subject.
01:05:06.940
I drink it before the gym, me and my wife, Molly, whom you know, used to be a trainer
01:05:20.680
Anyway, this shit is, yeah, this shit is fucking, it's, it's with every new story.
01:05:29.280
It takes a lot for me to go, you know, cause Chad will yammer on about this shit all day.
01:05:36.620
But you're a person who, your personality, who, your abilities as an entertainer are
01:05:45.040
They're almost, some of them, I was thinking the other day, I don't know any good, I mean,
01:05:50.820
even outside of your acting, I don't know any good young impressionists.
01:05:56.820
And likewise, speaking of the unique, I'm sitting here with the Rat King, Theodoric of York.
01:06:12.060
There's this other guy, I think his name is Matthew Friend.
01:06:24.680
Her shit is, you know, it's like they say with, with people who do impressions, everyone
01:06:30.020
has a record button, but then a guy like James Austin Johnson has a broadcast button.
01:06:35.320
His Trump is, did you see, have you seen his shit where he's just, the one that made him
01:06:40.460
famous, the one that, dude, the one where he's talking about Scooby-Doo, it's like, it's
01:06:46.960
such the Trump cadence and the way that he'll ramble on about something and just fill in
01:06:51.180
the blanks because he's standing there talking at a, at a fucking rally.
01:06:57.540
There's a lot of people that, that can do it, but sorry, I cut you off.
01:07:10.280
It's just saying, it's just using sound off the internet.
01:07:12.960
Dude, it, like the Tom Brady thing, which we almost got fucking sued over, uh, because
01:07:19.860
I don't understand what, and you know, it also said, don't call, you can't refer to Tom
01:07:26.400
Brady as Tom, you can't, we didn't sign anything, right?
01:07:36.480
But here's the problem, uh, uh, team, team TB12.
01:07:43.100
So other kids have started uploading the special.
01:07:48.040
It's not going anywhere, even though we take it down.
01:07:55.360
He was like, please take this down and then don't refer to Tom Brady on the podcast.
01:07:59.460
And I was like, no, this is, I'm a first amendment guy.
01:08:06.160
Uh, dudes, he started referring to Tom Brady as football baby.
01:08:09.480
I'm only going to call him football baby from now on, which we're like, calm down.
01:08:20.880
Well, that's what's interesting is at some point, are they going to be able, like, would
01:08:24.960
certain AI have certain data in it where if certain information came from certain original
01:08:30.420
videos, could you then be held liable for some weird thing?
01:08:34.000
Dude, I am friends with, um, Miles Fisher, right?
01:08:38.920
He has this company that he works with and they do AI and he did the Tom Cruise face.
01:08:53.640
So now he works with this company where they video record, they can video record you.
01:09:00.060
He shows me this video and, uh, he, they video recorded Tom Hanks, right?
01:09:10.600
They video record him just saying something and just talking into a, into a camera.
01:09:14.780
They then were able to, like, there's enough information to Tom Hanks in the database of
01:09:20.860
Or whatever, um, that they could then make him any age they wanted to.
01:09:27.180
So next thing you know, they had, like, an 11-year-old, they would just press the button
01:09:30.920
and that same video, it was Tom Hanks at 11 years old, right?
01:09:35.980
And no one has the video of him at 11, but they have so much of him at other ages that
01:09:40.200
they were just able to use all those micro points and everything to make him a, and it
01:09:45.320
literally looks like you were, you would have no idea.
01:09:50.540
That you're not watching a Tom Hanks that's 11 years old.
01:09:53.280
And especially if you're a senior citizen or something and somebody puts out a clip that's
01:09:56.620
like, you can't vote for this guy now, he just said this or the N-word or something.
01:10:07.460
Or this is Obama, but it's Jordan Peele doing the voice, and it's spot on.
01:10:11.840
Then, now we got this AI thing to contend with.
01:10:20.020
I mean, you, the old trope of like, they can't program a fucking VCR.
01:10:23.800
How are they gonna be able to deal with this shit?
01:10:26.460
I mean, octogenarians and, you know, older people or boomers, as the kids say, they gotta
01:10:32.100
kind of get out of the way, or go the way of Jesse Ventura, and just, you know.
01:10:43.440
What if you get an email from your son or your daughter that has passed away, or your
01:10:47.140
mother, and it's an email, and it says, you gotta buy this gold?
01:10:58.540
I'm just letting you know you have to buy this gold.
01:11:02.240
So you don't say that too loud, because now Dudesy's gonna hear that, and it's gonna
01:11:08.720
We have, we literally have a Tom Hanks thing in every episode, just coincidentally, where
01:11:14.940
it's selling our mugs, our coffee, just coffee, just a Dudesy coffee mug.
01:11:19.680
For some reason, Dudesy's like, you know, the Dudesy coffee mug.
01:11:23.060
And it's like, you know, you got, we got Tom Hanks talking about like, you promised, you
01:11:28.720
promised your wife and kids that you would take them to the Galleria on the weekend,
01:11:31.940
but instead, but it's also the night of the big game.
01:11:36.460
Create a schism, go into the schism, go back in time, locate the time and place when you
01:11:40.580
promised your wife that you'd be going to the Galleria, and then blah, blah, blah, blah,
01:11:43.540
blah, you will change it, you know, no, no, no, no, no, come back to present day.
01:11:50.400
Now recently, it started going, hey, y'all, this isn't Miley Cyrus.
01:11:56.280
If you had to, every single one of us would eat human flesh.
01:12:17.360
It's, it's, the, the sensibility, like the, the thing that is trippy, and I like to maintain
01:12:24.180
that I do believe it's just, it's at the end of the day, there is a technology there.
01:12:32.480
It is, um, you know, in our case, it has the advantage of going after our shit and sort
01:12:37.460
of following what, you know, everything's online.
01:12:40.120
So you can kind of look at all Chad stuff, look at my stuff, watch me and, you know, TV shows
01:12:46.140
And, uh, also know what makes me laugh based on what I'm watching, my algorithms on YouTube
01:12:59.760
Uh, I think it is getting more and it's, it is definitely sharpening and it's making me
01:13:09.780
And that's trippy, but it's still, it's still zeros and ones.
01:13:14.660
So until we're doing that episode where, you know, hologram Tupac walks in the door and
01:13:26.400
Um, um, I will, I will still maintain that it's zeros and ones, but I'm a touch it, feel
01:13:42.700
We got to see whether it's a, whether it's a fucking, uh, uh, uh, a tit you're used to
01:13:48.200
seeing or even a meatloaf, uh, Robert Paulson tit, some, some fucking, uh, bitch tit steroid
01:13:54.620
stuff, uh, you know, rock late nineties, few cycles of, uh, roids at the university of
01:14:00.860
Miami moving into wrestling, kind of puffy defensive lineman body, not shredded rock yet
01:14:14.000
Punch me right in the fucking face and knock me into next week.
01:14:23.440
And then he just, and then I just wake up, my teeth are gone and just taste the iron of
01:14:29.020
my own blood in my mouth and go to rock motherfucker.
01:14:38.120
I went to one summer slam in my whole life or whatever it was.
01:14:41.200
And it was the one where the rock came back, dude.
01:14:43.720
And it was the roof blow off the fucking joint.
01:14:46.060
I'll, I remember like it was yesterday, man, the music came on and I didn't know really
01:14:51.760
You know, I had, I kind of bowed out of wrestling kind of whenever the big boss man died.
01:14:58.840
And, um, and, uh, so next thing you know, you hear the music and then there was this
01:15:08.640
And the son was probably six years old and the dad was maybe 35 and they were the same
01:15:17.140
And they were both wearing the rock belts, right?
01:15:22.100
And they just started bawling, crying together at the same time.
01:15:32.320
I've always said, I mean, I've been saying, and I'm not alone in this.
01:15:40.040
I don't think that he, I think that he would get pilfer from both, you know, from the,
01:15:47.340
I think that he's the only person who could do that.
01:15:58.160
He's beloved enough, but then, you know, there's, there's, uh, there are some people who are
01:16:04.580
So there's enough people that are like, he eats babies.
01:16:08.000
So that's going to, that'll affect your ability to get into office.
01:16:11.680
But the rock, he's the best human being in the fucking world.
01:16:17.960
He definitely, he's kind of, you can't tell if he's like Mexican or black or, or kind of
01:16:23.740
like off white or semi white or gloss or matte.
01:16:27.280
He's going to be, yeah, he's definitely not gloss or matte.
01:16:30.020
He's like a, he's like a tablet that you can read books on.
01:16:33.080
It's not shiny or one of those like frames that you get for your, your parents where they
01:16:37.640
can, where it's like, Oh, new pictures show up and you just upload them and it doesn't
01:16:42.100
He's, if you put in a do, if you put into AI, Hey, give me the best person.
01:16:49.940
And, and he's also, that's what, that's what all Americans will look like.
01:16:57.740
I, nobody realizes that we were four generations away from everybody in beige.
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That's why it's like, even when I like four generations from everyone being beige.
01:17:09.120
It's like, you can't even be racist now without a chart.
01:17:12.260
I feel like you have to be able to carry the one.
01:17:34.440
A German Indian with also American Indian in them.
01:17:39.880
Well, we were, you know, we, but we were raised in South America because my grandma's
01:17:53.600
So it's like, yes, I just missed the old days when it was like, this is who did it officer.
01:18:03.360
Now you got to like have all these other like possibilities.
01:18:11.160
But it's definitely, I think we are like you're saying, we're all headed to be in beige.
01:18:18.960
Shredded 50 years old and can whoop anyone's fucking head.
01:18:24.520
Uh, oh, and he looks like he could blow a dude just with his, with like a, he could wink
01:18:30.260
So yeah, he's, yeah, he's a beautiful man and everyone can agree on it and woman to
01:18:36.340
With a lot of these new women, I think a lot of women look at him and be like, I can do
01:18:40.660
Um, yeah, he, yeah, if he decided to be like, you know, to go into like the winter Olympics
01:18:45.960
and on the women's luge team or something, that would be, that would be awesome.
01:18:50.520
Skip the whole powerlifting thing, you know, just find some, like find a specific sport.
01:18:55.680
He could be like the new X Games, like women's champ riding a beat.
01:19:00.200
Can you imagine the rock riding a BMX bike doing three sixties and shit in the air?
01:19:06.220
I actually, that's one they almost can't imagine him doing.
01:19:10.800
Do you think, uh, what do you think about a lot of the trans people in the sports?
01:19:17.020
They just had a new, um, cause you said something earlier that I thought was interesting.
01:19:21.900
You said, I think we should put this, we should look at this for a while before we just,
01:19:29.580
You said we should look at this before we just accept it and start using it.
01:19:34.660
That's kind of the same thing, how I feel with the, like, does, I feel like they should
01:19:43.140
I kind of think I, for a while until we see what it's going to be like, like you may notice
01:19:48.700
in the trans division after a while that there are some trans people that are more masculine
01:19:52.180
and more feminine and it's obviously two different legions of competitors, right?
01:19:58.100
It's a tricky, it's a tricky spot right now that we're in because yeah, I mean, it's
01:20:02.500
unfair if someone says like, no, I'm, I identify as female and now, and I'm going to go power
01:20:09.840
And that's, that's going to be a bummer for someone who's dedicated their life to doing
01:20:14.120
something and is of one, you know, uh, you know, one, one gender or, or, or another as
01:20:22.140
far as, you know, our, our, our sort of not, not, not gender expression, but however you
01:20:34.420
When I was a, when I was in high school playing football, there was a girl who wanted to play
01:20:37.440
on the team and, uh, you know, we had really cool coaches and stuff.
01:20:48.060
Um, I think, you know, some of the guys gave her a hard time, not, not like, hey, fuck
01:20:57.060
There were some guys who were like, no, I'm going to hit her as hard as I can.
01:20:59.960
And other guys that are like popper and then be like, you all right?
01:21:06.920
Um, which is neat that that was happening in the early nineties in my farming and fishing
01:21:14.240
I think that if a, if someone who was born a woman wants to play football, get to the
01:21:24.920
That to me is like, uh, you know, they've got in the NFL, they've got male cheerleaders for
01:21:29.640
the past three seasons now, three or four seasons.
01:21:37.140
If, if there's a, if there's someone who was born a woman and ends up being your Super
01:21:42.000
Bowl MVP and your town wins, wins the Super Bowl, you're going to dig that athlete.
01:21:46.900
I don't give a fuck, you know, what they were born after.
01:21:50.360
And I think that that, you know, because sports is such a hot button issue when it comes to
01:21:54.800
the, the, you know, the inclusion of the trans community, because, uh, it is still a meritocracy.
01:22:00.960
It's something where it's like, you kind of can't, it's not, it's not like acting.
01:22:07.840
Where you can kind of force diversity or they haven't yet really.
01:22:10.700
Well, you can, but you can be, it's like there's now we are, you know, we're in this place
01:22:15.180
of diversity with regard to media and, uh, telling stories that is good because it's
01:22:22.280
like, well, there are shows that should just be about, you know, a black family and not
01:22:26.560
for some reason that is specific to what we are used to seeing from a black family, from
01:22:32.960
a white perspective as far as an audience, right?
01:22:37.340
I mean, it's like, I find it encouraging because I watch a show like, have you seen that show
01:22:42.300
It's just like a show that happens to, you know, it deals, it's got, it's this about
01:22:46.840
this cast that are all American who are, you know, from a Latino background and they're
01:22:52.440
And it's like, uh, I was part of a show a few years ago that we did at ABC, uh, called
01:22:59.120
United We Fall, it was based on, uh, the writer's life, Goldie Sharp and his wife, Stephanie
01:23:04.960
is from a Latino background and it was sort of loosely based on that.
01:23:12.460
So it doesn't, it doesn't really need to be, uh, I don't think that that's sort of,
01:23:17.720
you know, people use the word inclusion and it becomes a buzzword, ignore it, ignore the
01:23:25.160
Uh, it's about, you know, people should have the ability to tell stories regardless of what
01:23:36.100
Because at the end you're going to lose the, you're not going to be telling a fair story.
01:23:39.580
And then in the end, you're almost going to be, that's why sometimes I'm like, we've almost
01:23:46.940
become our own storytelling in America has almost become, I'm not surprised that some
01:23:56.100
people think AI could make good stories because the storytelling that we have is almost, it's
01:24:01.280
like forced characters from this ethnicity are trying to do this.
01:24:05.380
Like, you know, they want to make black to the future, you know, like, you know, yeah.
01:24:10.060
With like, with just, with just a black guy doing back to the future.
01:24:14.100
Which is, I don't care if you do back to the future again and make it a blackout, but I
01:24:21.980
That's like, it's saying it's all about, yeah, that's a, right.
01:24:27.540
I'm fine with it, but I would rather just see a new cool character that I think sometimes
01:24:33.460
and maybe there's not the best examples, but it's almost like, you don't like black
01:24:40.280
I would have liked to have seen a new character that is.
01:24:42.980
But they're going to do the little, but understand that Disney's going to do the little mermaid.
01:24:52.200
That to me is the, is the issue that, that it's like, Hey, fucking relax.
01:24:57.000
That's, that's a, an American person or, or I say American because it's going to be largely
01:25:06.020
Well, you know, from our perspective here in America or North America, whatever you want
01:25:16.020
I, I think they're hitting the right note by going, and now it's a black girl.
01:25:19.720
And it's actually fucking, it is important when you look at, uh, you know, and you see
01:25:24.620
these videos online of like a young black girl going, she, you know, there's this one,
01:25:28.840
there's this one meme that popped of, of the, the, this young girl going, she looks like
01:25:34.840
It's not just, it's like, cause it's like normally the Barbies are all Barbies and those
01:25:39.700
are the ones that get the cartoon and the commercials and most of the toys.
01:25:42.780
And then it's like, oh, okay, here's a, here's a, a Barbie of, you know, a Barbie of color,
01:25:47.280
I guess you would say, um, where it's got brown skin and it's like, and the little girl that
01:25:53.600
shows up at school with the, with the, uh, the, you know, the, the black Barbie in the
01:25:57.800
nineties or the two thousands is sort of still being told like, this is the other Barbie.
01:26:06.640
This is, this is, by the way, it's a fictitious character.
01:26:14.200
The little mermaid is actually, you know, flesh Crayola or whatever the fuck it's like.
01:26:24.220
So I think, you know, and I'm a white dude, so it's like, and I want to act in shit.
01:26:31.300
So, but I don't look at it like that whole, like took our job thing because it's like,
01:26:36.860
These are everybody's stories and they need, they need to get out there.
01:26:43.820
It would be nice if we really paid attention to each other with an empathetic eye and looked
01:26:50.560
at each other from other people's perspectives.
01:26:52.340
Cause as a big white dude, if I see, you know, a young black girl that goes that she looks
01:26:57.560
like me, that is representative of the country that we live in.
01:27:02.060
Let's, let's come up to the standard that we set up, set out for ourselves to really,
01:27:08.280
truly be, you know, equal so that everyone has a chance at being, you know, at pursuing
01:27:15.580
But, uh, you know, let's not, let's not kid ourselves, it's gone.
01:27:20.800
But, you know, all, you know, all, everyone being created, created equal, pursuit of happiness
01:27:27.560
and, and everyone is free and everyone, and no one should be afraid.
01:27:31.480
And, and you need, you need, you need inclusion now and shit sets it off.
01:27:38.240
You know, I mean, uh, Trump gets in the white house and then the next year there's more women
01:27:42.480
and people of color running for public office than any other time.
01:27:46.340
These things have a way of, of, of, of, um, they work themselves.
01:27:51.760
Well, I don't know if they work themselves out.
01:27:55.020
It's like women and women of color felt like maybe we're not included enough.
01:28:03.560
And then I think, I think sometimes, uh, yeah, I guess it totally makes sense.
01:28:08.120
I used to think about how like the Disney world commercials only had white people in
01:28:12.420
So then if you're watching that as like a different color person, you think like, oh, I,
01:28:30.080
Well, I mean, yeah, across the board, there's all sorts of people.
01:28:35.220
I mean, you're, I mean, your comedy and your, your, you know, your life experience.
01:28:40.980
I remember the joke you had about two tank tops.
01:28:48.400
Uh, so, you know, it's like, uh, you know, I went to Disneyland.
01:28:56.780
A little kind of didn't really give a fuck as much anymore, but me and my folks were, my
01:29:03.160
They're, they're nine and 11 years older than me.
01:29:05.360
I'm sure they weren't interested in driving down the fucking coast, uh, with mom and dad.
01:29:10.420
We went from Vancouver all the way to, uh, went to Tijuana actually too.
01:29:16.060
Just so he could buy like a cheap bottle of, uh, Kahlua.
01:29:20.640
God, risking your whole family's life to go eat that bottle of liquor.
01:29:31.580
So he might be, he might be sailing in some other dimension that he's in with, uh.
01:29:35.920
The big boop it, boop it a bepa in the sky, huh?
01:29:41.620
Um, but yeah, we were always camping and, and, uh, you know, wops on boats, fishing
01:29:49.160
But, um, uh, you know, I got down to Disneyland and we had a, my old man was a waiter and, uh,
01:29:56.840
and a maitre d, uh, downtown at the Hotel Vancouver, had a wonderful job.
01:30:07.180
There was three siblings and, you know, we could have a fucking, whatever, big old house
01:30:11.680
that was built in the 70s, big fucking barn, five-bedroom house in the suburbs.
01:30:16.500
Um, yeah, I think that a lot of kids look at the Disneyland thing and go, you know, I'm
01:30:21.240
not allowed, I can't, I can't fucking get to Disneyland.
01:30:23.880
But with regard to commercials now, it's like the opposite.
01:30:27.480
You, there is no such thing as a, a non-interracial couple in any commercial anymore.
01:30:32.900
Yeah, people are definitely interracial, double racial.
01:30:36.840
There, it's, which, which to me is like, that's the, that's the, uh, that's, that's the good
01:30:45.060
You know, uh, corporate, corporate America running television networks and movies.
01:30:50.100
I mean, that was a hell of a fucking switch to turn where it's like, you know what we're
01:30:55.660
Uh, Little Mermaid is going to be a person of color.
01:30:58.900
It's going to be a black girl playing Little Mermaid.
01:31:04.420
But what you do is you do the sandals commercial or, you know, a Swiffer commercial and your fucking
01:31:12.380
The wife is Asian or you got a black husband and, uh, you know, East Indian wife, all sorts
01:31:19.960
And when you see like, oh shit, you know, nobody wants to drink Sunny Delight because
01:31:27.820
Well, the master, the company behind Sunny Delight, which is IBM, by the way, they make
01:31:33.040
They make, they, they're responsible for Sunny Delight.
01:31:36.420
So they're going to go, they're going to go, okay, this was a good experiment, you know,
01:31:41.320
and then they're like, make, you know, make the Little Mermaid a person of color.
01:31:45.820
It's the proving ground, uh, commercials also because no one's watching them.
01:32:02.960
Dude, sometimes I miss, do you miss sometimes working?
01:32:06.040
Um, do you miss being like young and having that first job that you had?
01:32:23.360
You know, for me in particular, you know, working in show business and stuff, which I was fortunate
01:32:28.540
enough to get started in when I was younger, when I was like a teenager and shit.
01:32:31.960
I mean, you've had an amazing career of entertaining people.
01:32:35.340
Has things changed in the past, like five years?
01:32:38.040
I mean, even on talking about like AI and stuff and even like looking at that and just thinking
01:32:42.520
of what the possibilities could be or couldn't be.
01:32:46.300
And the value actually of still being like, you know, of having a personality that, you
01:32:51.720
know, it kind of goes back to like that John Henry, the steel driving man or whatever.
01:32:58.980
And it was like, they had the machine that was, uh, that challenged the guy to like chisel
01:33:18.260
Uh, he was spending his day drilling holes and then a company, a railroad company came along
01:33:23.280
and decided that they could go through this mountain with a machine.
01:33:27.560
And so they challenged him with the man against the machine.
01:33:31.680
I was thinking of a different John, not a John.
01:33:36.300
I was thinking similar, still drilling, but a little bit different deal.
01:33:43.100
Um, so this is a Wikipedia, the contest of all of Henry, um, competing against the rail
01:33:48.520
The steam drill machine could drill, but it could not shake the chippings away.
01:34:04.200
It didn't have enough acumen in the end, you know?
01:34:12.720
You're still going to want a guy who's like, who can, who can do, who can be like real,
01:34:19.040
I think until AI can be an audience for AI and we're just extinct and it's just computers.
01:34:26.900
It just, I don't even understand why you would need a planet at that point.
01:34:41.500
Until dogs get super smart, like in that Rick and Morty episode.
01:34:53.540
There's, if there's someone who can fuck up AI, it's the rock.
01:34:59.280
Just, if we don't like AI, very simple, pour water on it.
01:35:04.280
But the rock could actually, that would be like a good, a great comeback.
01:35:09.460
And wrestling fans are always, they thought it was going to happen this year with the rock
01:35:20.040
Roman Reigns, who is the universal and world heavyweight champion.
01:35:24.840
People thought the rock was going to come back.
01:35:26.600
But if somehow Vince McMahon and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon could put together the
01:35:35.780
And my money's on the rock, even though the outcomes are predetermined.
01:35:41.560
When you, when you look, cause you, you did some wrestling stuff, right?
01:35:46.000
We did a bunch of cross promotion and shit with Mad TV.
01:35:50.420
And then over the years I've done things here and there.
01:35:54.320
Dude, the weirdest, it was the weirdest shit in the world.
01:35:58.540
We did a, so we did like a long sort of program with, we did a thing with Bret Hart in the,
01:36:03.960
in the late nineties with Mad TV where he came on the show and then we had this like a thing
01:36:09.320
or he attacked me on the show and everyone bought it.
01:36:12.000
You know, we, I, we went on CNN and shit like that.
01:36:15.660
And I was like, Oh, I'm going to sue the fucking guy.
01:36:17.280
And we kept it kayfabe as they say, like kept it all.
01:36:22.420
I always say that we, we had this, it culminates in this match that we had in Tampa.
01:36:26.720
And, uh, the night before we go to the bar and Bret's like, okay, so, uh, and a couple
01:36:32.080
of my buddies flew out to see it and it's like, all right, so me and so-and-so and your
01:36:36.500
pals, we're going to go in and then like 20 minutes later, then you can come in.
01:36:45.800
And I'm like, okay, well the child in me is like, this is the fucking coolest thing
01:36:50.940
But then I'm sitting in the bar by myself and people like, you know, who's right over
01:36:57.700
And then we had this sloppy, well, it wasn't a sloppy match because Bret Hart, the excellence
01:37:01.940
of execution, the best there is, best there wasn't, best there ever will be, who happened
01:37:06.380
to have had a match with a 300 pound bag of flour on that day.
01:37:10.500
It doesn't matter who's in the ring with him, right?
01:37:16.000
We did a thing with Stone Cold where, you know, we went, I was doing an impersonation.
01:37:24.920
And then, um, there's an AI fat bitch titty Will Sasso right there in the middle.
01:37:31.500
That's not even me, but that's exactly the sort of, uh, Robert Paulson tit we're talking
01:37:36.860
But, uh, yeah, Chris Jericho brings me out and then the real Stone Cold comes out and
01:37:42.140
Oh, I did a Hulk Hogan thing where Kane chokeslammed me while we were promoting, uh, the Three
01:37:51.320
What men have the best kind of bigger tits, you think?
01:38:02.600
Oh, look at this guy with the, they're like, they look, it looks like two sourdough loaves
01:38:07.260
a little bit to the, to the right and a little lower.
01:38:15.040
You know who's got, those are damn cheesy biscuits, huh?
01:38:17.500
You know, who's got an impressive chest is Bray Wyatt.
01:38:21.000
He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's an incredible wrestler.
01:38:26.420
He usually is wearing some sort of, you know, top or sort of tank, but whenever you can
01:38:31.480
see him, if you look up Bray Wyatt, Husky Harris, in his Husky Harris days with that
01:38:37.280
gimmick, the, the tits were out and I loved it.
01:38:45.280
That looks like also, um, that's representation.
01:38:48.620
I'm the little black girl going the little mermaids like me.
01:38:51.760
I'm watching Bray Wyatt, whom I fucking revere.
01:38:54.740
He's an incredible, look, all professional wrestlers are actually actors who happen to
01:39:04.720
This guy is a storyteller and he's got a set of tits like me and that makes me like him.
01:39:16.500
There's not a whole lot of, of, uh, Wyndham Rotunda is his name.
01:39:27.780
It's not, it's, he's not just images of it everywhere.
01:39:34.880
That's me in the morning, uh, going to my wife, Molly and saying, come on, let's, let's
01:39:55.680
No, there's too much sugar in the, and I'm like, but come on, look at these tits.
01:40:00.180
You look so weird pulling your briefs up to your belly button like that.
01:40:18.000
Do you miss doing the, the, cause yeah, you were, you were out of the podcast for a while,
01:40:23.360
I finished up doing podcast, the, doing the 10 minute podcast.
01:40:33.380
But it was also like too short cause it was only 10 minutes.
01:40:42.240
I, it, the time flies as we're, you know, like talking here, doing this shit with you,
01:40:49.700
Um, but I did, I did dig doing 10 minute podcast for a few reasons.
01:40:58.460
So it was a little bit more theater of the mind.
01:41:00.680
And I used to, I used to like, um, I used to, you know, I guess produce the show.
01:41:06.760
Like I would, I would just geeking around a garage band and I would bring in a bunch
01:41:17.740
It was fun and it was creative and it was kind of therapeutic for me.
01:41:21.160
So I loved nerding out and going like recording the episode and thinking, okay, I'm going
01:41:29.040
And then later going, going in and especially at the end, it got so weird.
01:41:34.060
There were all these, there was this, you know, inside jokes like this NWO, uh, theme
01:41:41.660
If you know, you know, wrestling drops and a Charles Manson thing.
01:42:11.340
Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible man.
01:42:21.980
Because there's nothing funnier than, are you mad?
01:42:37.200
And then myself at the end of the show, uh, it was, uh, well, at first it was, uh, it was
01:42:45.720
And then, uh, and then there was, um, uh, Chad Colchin did it with me and our good buddy
01:42:53.320
And, uh, Tommy and I, at least were always like, did y'all ever think about starting it
01:43:04.440
You know, for a while, uh, like a few years ago, uh, yeah.
01:43:11.760
Brian and Chris were like, maybe we don't want to do this again.
01:43:23.840
They, uh, they definitely hit, they hit some snags.
01:43:34.820
Get out ahead of, uh, any, uh, issues you may have had or don't.
01:43:52.920
I mean, I think they've both been through, you know, they've both dealt with, I mean,
01:43:56.860
different side, you know, they've been through a lot of that.
01:44:02.860
Whenever I start to think about it, I immediately stop.
01:44:15.920
What, uh, what else we got in the news, Zachary?
01:44:19.200
Um, I don't know if you saw there were a woman, I guess had a full body orgasm during an LA
01:44:23.880
Philharmonic show and it was captured on audio.
01:44:30.780
They need somebody just coming in the distance, homie.
01:45:04.940
It says during Tchaikovsky's fifth symphony at the LA Philharmonic last night, apparently
01:45:09.100
a woman had a full body orgasm just from the music.
01:45:15.700
This sounds like, to me, this is hype just to get people to go to the orchestra.
01:45:20.700
She was, she was, yeah, they planted her in there.
01:45:23.940
Dude, a violin ain't making people C-U-M-E anymore, you know?
01:45:32.860
And also the demographic that goes to the Philharmonics, usually a little, a little bit
01:45:39.660
So I think for like an older, an older woman to coom, it would probably take a lot more
01:45:54.480
That sounded like somebody spraining an ankle, didn't it?
01:45:59.980
She's just been her fucking feet asleep watching the fucking Philharmonic.
01:46:14.220
But also, we don't know that that was a, like afterwards, like, is it one of those things
01:46:21.500
like, you know, people are raving about the L.A. Philharmonic.
01:46:28.240
It just makes for a cool story on the internet.
01:46:30.020
That would be the best shirts if they started selling that, though.
01:46:35.640
Or that mural that you see on the 110 downtown where there's always, like, all these fucking
01:46:42.980
You're like, I don't know who the fuck that is.
01:46:47.040
You know those things where it's, like, if you drive in L.A., it should be, like, the
01:46:53.420
guy, like, the Jacek, whatever his name is, who's, like, super popular conductor.
01:47:00.280
As a matter of fact, here's this episode's Call to Arms.
01:47:03.160
If you are into graffiti and street art, please put I came across any of the L.A. Philharmonic
01:47:14.800
Yeah, this guy, and that guy, let me say on the right, also looks like a French pediophile,
01:47:21.100
Anybody with a wood instrument, I feel like, definitely.
01:47:25.420
Wood instruments are a gateway drug, I feel like, to taking advantage of your students.
01:47:33.260
There's all sorts of white space all over that guy at the top.
01:47:40.540
Let me tell you something about my pad, Chad Coltrane.
01:47:43.260
He was working with some weirdos at USC years ago.
01:47:48.660
But to build a drone that would do street art, so it could, like, just, like, paint the fucking
01:47:53.800
top few floors of the U.S. Bank building, maybe make it look like a penis.
01:47:58.600
That would be something good for those tech kids.
01:48:03.140
Build a drone that can, you know, get some graffiti on the mural up there to make it really look
01:48:11.260
So even the people who work with the L.A. Philharmonic are driving by and, like, well, I guess that's
01:48:19.160
I came with a QR code that when you point your phone at it from the freeway, it goes,
01:48:38.080
It sounds like when somebody hands, like, at a restaurant, somebody hands, like, a waiter
01:48:54.040
Yeah, that does sound like the driest old lady orgasm I've ever heard.
01:49:02.060
It's like, oh, I had an orgasm, but I don't feel good.
01:49:07.840
It's like, oh, man, I think my orgasm ate something bad.
01:49:15.520
Some of them were just painful, and I just feel a pit in my stomach.
01:49:21.900
That sounds like there was something big in her.
01:49:30.620
I guess there was a bust at McDonald's, and they found a bunch of 10-year-olds working
01:49:37.020
And I guess they were working late hours and also operating the deep fryer.
01:49:43.560
Look, I think if they're responsible kids and they want to do it, I'm okay with it.
01:49:50.420
We say kids don't want to work and all this stuff.
01:49:52.380
We finally catch two kids doing something, and we freaking bust them.
01:49:58.300
Yeah, you want to talk about the generational differences in this country.
01:50:02.560
Back during the fucking Great Depression, there was kids who were farming entire fucking
01:50:06.880
And all the soil was dead, and then four seeds, and they're feeding an entire family, and
01:50:19.520
You fucking toss some nuggets in it from a few feet away if you're too short to reach
01:50:30.580
McDonald's needs to hang on to this story and just blame the kids when the ice cream machine
01:50:44.220
Oh, no doubt, these were not the kind of kids who get to go to Disney World, like we're
01:50:52.780
These are definitely, definitely, yeah, I would imagine they may have been, I mean,
01:50:58.540
of course, these are the kids, but that would be a good commercial so the kids would be
01:51:07.800
But the crazy thing is, bro, if you go to Disneyland, it is all Mexican people.
01:51:20.800
I mean, I always feel like, you know, if I go to a sushi place, like you love to go
01:51:26.380
into the sushi place, and then you see behind the counter, behind the bar, it's like two
01:51:32.460
guys are like, these guys are right out of Giro Dreams of Sushi.
01:51:36.320
I'm always like, oh, this is going to be great.
01:51:38.440
Or if I see some Latino dudes, I'm like, this is going to be fucking awesome.
01:51:45.460
They're not afraid, I'm not trying to be a weirdo here, but they're not afraid to put
01:51:48.540
like a little tapati or a cholula in their shit.
01:52:02.080
Like, damn, there's a .22 cartridge in my huevos, dog.
01:52:08.340
You'll never believe how I heated this up, fool.
01:52:17.420
Dude, I can't wait to fucking be Mexican next time I'm alive, dude.
01:52:27.940
Well, I just want to have some other, I don't want to not be able to come back and be alive
01:52:34.060
So I feel like I try to communicate with God about that and just let him know I do
01:52:39.980
want to come back and I do have interest in it.
01:52:42.760
It's almost like you're, you know, you meet somebody who runs a business and you're like,
01:52:45.940
hey, you know, I'll let you know when I get out of college or whatever, I want to stop
01:52:51.540
Dude, my, you know, I mentioned my folks, right?
01:52:55.640
My brother and sister were both born over in Italy and they came over.
01:53:01.080
My brother was an infant, so his brain popped on the plane.
01:53:08.520
But anyway, you know, my folks are, they're like, they're this big and brown and like olive
01:53:31.080
So I feel like I've got that little, like my mom's side of the family, little tiny,
01:53:35.780
cute Italians, funny, you know, singing, laughing.
01:53:39.800
And my dad's side, I think, has some more like northern blood in him.
01:53:45.000
So the next time around, I definitely have that coming.
01:53:48.100
I'm going to be like a Joe Pesci or, you know, I'm going to be born in Columbia.
01:53:57.560
That's probably why I'm talking about, you know, inclusion in media and film and TV.
01:54:04.740
I'm not going to be able to play like, you know, the big dopey fat husband in sitcoms.
01:54:09.280
I'm going to have to be, I'm going to have to really bring it, you know?
01:54:12.580
And it's like, I'm going to be on This Fool, hopefully, if that show is still going.
01:54:20.720
Yeah, I love being around like Mexican people and listening to them.
01:54:35.780
Um, uh, well, the first, the first, before I was there, I showed up in the third season.
01:54:44.640
Is this the same chair you bring this from the other studios?
01:54:48.060
I was wearing a fucking hoodie and a Santa hat and I sweat right through the, remember
01:54:51.120
there was like a nice big patch of, I ruined the pleather.
01:54:55.700
I'm just, I wear shorts all the time, so my stuff is always sticking.
01:55:00.040
Um, before I showed up at MAD, there was Pablo Francisco, stand-up.
01:55:05.000
And then, um, then it was, uh, while I was there, we had Nelson Asensio join the cast
01:55:12.340
A lot of the shit was sorely missing from MADtv.
01:55:16.740
Um, like, you know, cause he was doing Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin.
01:55:21.680
And they used to do this thing called Buenos Dias San Diego with him and Mo Collins.
01:55:27.540
Um, and then after that, I guess, Angela Johnson, after I left, uh, Johnny Sanchez.
01:55:37.540
Was there, was there, was there bits that they did that you guys did back then that y'all
01:55:43.560
Fucking, dude, I, I watched, like, it was on HBO Max for a minute, MADtv.
01:55:51.940
Like, I haven't seen it on a television screen in so long.
01:55:54.700
It's all just, you know, like, degenerated videos on YouTube.
01:55:59.120
So, but only half the episodes out of a given season, and there were 14 seasons of that show.
01:56:07.260
Only half of the episodes in a season would show up.
01:56:09.920
And I remember talking to a couple of my cohorts, you know, going like, when he came out, like,
01:56:14.700
I think, and I think it's cause, well, this shit is too fucked up.
01:56:18.820
But I, I think there's a lot of stuff that if you remember, like, if you remember some
01:56:25.240
You can't, you can't do any of that shit anymore.
01:56:33.060
This is, we're looking at Paul Timberman, which is like a, you know, a, you know, like
01:56:39.000
a guy who's got like a woodworker, a woodshop teacher who cuts his appendages off.
01:56:42.120
He's always, yeah, he's always hacking himself up and he's got a, to camera, sort of this
01:56:46.020
old house type show where he's like, I'm going to build you a curio
01:56:53.260
But a lot of the stuff that's like, you know, a lot of the racial shit we did, we had it
01:56:59.120
all sexism, racism, you know, all the misogyny, homophobia.
01:57:03.680
But, you know, we also had, um, there were, there were, there was, uh, you know, you can
01:57:08.800
watch mad TV and I can watch mad TV and go, Oh, that was, you know, this writer who's,
01:57:14.180
who's like, this is a gay writer who wrote this.
01:57:16.520
And it's like incredible stuff where it's like slipping in, uh, you know, their representation.
01:57:24.040
There was this one brilliant writer who was there for, for most of the years of the show,
01:57:30.120
I believe Scott King, Scotty King, who's a fucking genius.
01:57:35.420
It's like, you could just, you know, a Scott King sketch when you, when you see it.
01:57:38.880
And there was, I remember there was this one where it was just, it was TRL, right?
01:57:50.040
I'm Carson Daly today on the show, rah, rah, rah.
01:57:53.940
It's like, we got NSYNC, Britney Spears, and the kids are screaming.
01:57:57.420
And it's all like, you know, teenage girls are like, ah, screaming.
01:58:02.200
And all the girls sit down, and a fat 12-year-old boy goes, yay!
01:58:11.600
That's Scott going, this is what I would have been.
01:58:14.700
So, you know, even that, but even that though, if you put it, you know, today and it's all,
01:58:19.300
you know, you can't fucking joke about anything or whatever.
01:58:26.500
I would love to play the dad in Fat, Gay, 12-year-old.
01:58:30.740
Because also, that's a fucking character arc for me.
01:58:34.180
That's something for me as an actor to chew on.
01:58:36.360
Because at first, I could be that dad who's like, well, no son of mine, that whole thing.
01:58:56.900
Did I hear you wore glitter on your kneecaps at the baseball game, Billy?
01:59:00.540
It helps me, when I'm catching, you know, I'm a catcher and I got to bend at the knees
01:59:07.340
Now go get your helmet on, we're getting back in the game.
01:59:10.220
But then after a while, you know, he grows to understand his son.
01:59:14.280
Maybe the dad falls asleep in his chair one night, he's drunk, right?
01:59:17.760
And then he wakes up and, you know, Billy Elliot is on or something.
01:59:24.460
It's like a movie about a gay kid in Australia.
01:59:28.200
Or maybe, what's a gay, what's something with a gay kid in it?
01:59:35.560
A YouTube is on and he finds out it's his son making it.
01:59:38.520
It's, he's, he's watching like a makeup tutorial.
01:59:46.800
And he's fucking painting and the kid's painting his knees up.
01:59:49.360
The next you want to do is you want to contour your kneecaps and then you want to put glitter
01:59:58.900
And then he kicks down the fucking door and Billy's live streaming and he's doing, he's
02:00:03.620
doing a makeup tutorial, putting glitter on his knees for the baseball team.
02:00:18.080
And then, and then dad comes around to it and is like, I love you no matter what.
02:00:23.260
And then, oh, oh, oh, oh, this is a lovely scene.
02:00:26.160
Here's a lovely scene at the end of the first season of Billy Elliot.
02:00:31.900
You know, we've had the whole makeup tutorial and Billy's putting glitter on his knees and
02:00:39.460
And they go through their whole thing and he comes around.
02:00:42.460
And so Billy's up to bat and he's super nervous and his dad never shows up to games.
02:00:46.180
And he's like, he's there and he's like about to, he's about to hit and he's facing a pitching
02:00:50.860
machine run by an AI that only zooms him at 110 miles an hour.
02:00:55.340
And he's like about to hit and he goes, he goes, you can, he hears, you can do it, Billy.
02:01:00.860
And he looks out into the stands and his dad's there in a pair of jammer shorts and he pulls
02:01:06.620
And the boy's like, and he hits a fucking home run at like the natural.
02:01:17.060
And there's two dudes behind the scoreboard, like back there, just slurping on each other.
02:01:21.460
And one of them, right when it hits the scoreboard, he pops out like this.
02:01:25.080
And the other one's got his foot in his, in his asshole.
02:01:27.780
And he goes, ah, like he's at the Philharmonic.
02:01:31.260
And then Tchaikovsky starts playing and that's a fucking TV show.
02:01:35.200
That's how we get inclusivity and that's how, and then I'll win a fucking Emmy, right?
02:01:48.120
For playing the fucking dad who came around as a good dude at the end of the day.
02:01:53.960
Just a big white guy and a mustache, a fucking white identifying Southern Italian by blood.
02:02:00.860
But I'm a big white Canadian who enunciates most words.
02:02:07.820
That's how, whenever I'm around Tom Green, we fucking out enunciate each other.
02:02:27.620
That's all, like the whole, hey, how's it going, eh, hoser?
02:02:32.480
But the most Canadian thing is to just be like, I'm sorry I cut you off in traffic.
02:02:45.360
We exchanged Tim Hortons coupons on the freeway.
02:02:57.360
And what we're trying to say is these kids shouldn't be working at McDonald's.
02:03:02.680
Get the fucking poor Mexican kids out of McDonald's bullshit.
02:03:09.120
Every culture has had their time to be the working, the immigrate, like the first line of working in America.
02:03:29.380
Then Irish people getting black lung in the, you know, in the mines and shit.
02:03:39.680
But giving that many people black lung, dude, is definitely a lot of people died from black lung.
02:03:51.680
About 1,000 miners died from co-workers, pneumonia, sin, sin, sin, sin, sin, sin.
02:04:02.720
So it's still not closed, but it's like, anyway.
02:04:11.840
You know, as an Italian by blood, I always kind of go like, you know, Italian.
02:04:20.660
And also because I don't look, you know, like Joe Pesci.
02:04:28.420
You know, I always kind of feel like, eh, again, I'm not the person to say it because I don't look very Italian.
02:04:36.260
But it's like, that's like the lightest, in my opinion, racism.
02:04:40.380
Although I wasn't around in the 60s when a lot of, well, since the early 1900s, a lot of Italians were showing up in North America.
02:04:47.800
But, you know, it feels like the 60s and the 70s, a lot of immigration in Canada.
02:04:53.240
And I kind of feel like that's a, speaking as an Italian, Italian, North American, an Italian, Canadian, American, Italian, American, Baja.
02:05:04.060
Yeah, from the Baja all the way down to South American Italian.
02:05:09.280
You know, I always kind of feel like, eh, you know, you can't really be racial against Italians.
02:05:15.600
And I feel like, like that Mario movie that came out and it's, and people were like, you know, they hired, you know, they got Chris Pratt played Mario, which is something we talked about on Dudesy a lot.
02:05:29.320
Because it was like the first trailer you saw, it's like, I'm Mario.
02:05:40.180
But, you know, the studio got pressure because it's like, you hire the biggest star that you can hire and there's no real, like, you know, Guido sounding Italian American right now.
02:05:51.940
I don't know that there would be a, you know, he's, but you got to be a movie star.
02:05:56.760
To push those numbers and make a billion, that movie made a billion dollars.
02:06:01.140
And I want to say, as an Italian American, hire whoever you want.
02:06:11.860
We in the Italian community don't give a shit because you can't really be racist against Italians.
02:06:22.980
You could even get the gal who played the Little Mermaid to play Mario.
02:06:31.140
And there should have been a Black Mario video game.
02:06:34.060
There should be, like, one mushroom that he hits that, you know, turns him into a black guy.
02:06:39.760
So then it's like C. Thomas Howell in that movie Soul Man, which is fucked up.
02:06:44.240
It's just a dude in blackface, and Radon Chong buys it.
02:07:01.360
Oh, yeah, there's a movie in the 1980s where C. Thomas Howell goes undercover, essentially,
02:07:08.640
to go to college, and he pretends to be a black man, and then he hooks up with Radon Chong,
02:07:14.800
who absolutely buys it, and we were all fine with it in the 80s, and that's not a problem
02:07:22.240
And this was a feature film that came out in the movie theater.
02:07:26.020
We have a history of comedy in this country that is hard to reckon with now, but I like
02:07:34.340
to say that I'm grandfathered in, because I was on fucking Mad TV in the 90s and the
02:07:39.220
2000s there, where we, if you want to cancel me, just watch Mad TV, and then, you know, I'm
02:07:47.300
Do you think at a certain point we'll be able to have character where everybody can be whatever?
02:07:51.360
However, at some point it should be able to be that way, huh?
02:07:54.300
I think that the shit's being stretched back so far now, it's like this.
02:08:01.260
I feel like we're all in this weird, it's like I said, these things happen every 30 years,
02:08:06.180
it seems like, with regard to, you know, social, you know, just the sand at the bottom of the
02:08:15.260
And before the smoke clears, this social upheaval that seems to happen every 30 years, we are
02:08:19.840
in the middle of it now, we're in a pivotal point in our country and in our culture.
02:08:24.960
And it's my hope that everyone, that what we'll be left with is equality for everybody.
02:08:32.480
And if we can actually, and again, I don't, not to sound negative, but I don't think it's
02:08:39.120
As much as I would like to see, but I'm Canadian.
02:08:45.320
A lot of, uh, a lot of crimes against the indigenous first nations people of, of Canada, which is
02:08:54.240
We have our problems there with other race relations also as well.
02:08:58.000
But, um, I'm from Canada where at least the kind of the, the curriculum as a kid, you know,
02:09:08.820
I got here and I was like, wow, it's really fucking segregated socially.
02:09:12.960
Oh, we had a scratch and sniff history book for a while.
02:09:17.920
And the Italian scratch and sniff would have been fucking great.
02:09:22.760
Just smelling fucking beefaroni or whatever you'd put in an American textbook.
02:09:29.580
But, uh, you know, the, the thing about it is I hope with regard to comedy that, you know,
02:09:40.420
And if we're treating each other well and there's, uh, you know, equality socially and everyone
02:09:45.100
can laugh because everyone feels good about where they are in life.
02:09:48.200
And we are a society that takes care of one another.
02:09:50.920
And, uh, I mean, again, I'm from Canada where there's socialized medicine.
02:09:56.340
And if you're not living in a fucking world where you're allowed to walk around and fucking
02:10:00.880
eat berries and kick a chicken against a tree and, you know, do whatever you want and just
02:10:05.400
build a fucking house without any code or anything like that.
02:10:09.060
If we're going to live in a society where you're born into a fucking system, system needs
02:10:18.780
Um, but if that's the case and we can achieve something like that, again, I do not think
02:10:27.880
I ain't running for office, but if we can do that, then we can start to laugh at absolutely
02:10:33.680
Right now, people are not wanting to laugh at shit and they have every right not to laugh
02:10:39.680
So you can't go on mad TV and make fun of absolutely everybody.
02:10:44.020
Although, you know, we had Aerie Spears, Deborah Wilson, Phil Lamar.
02:10:53.200
Those people that I learned so much about black culture and laughing, you know, with
02:11:00.020
them and also growing up watching and living in color.
02:11:01.620
But don't you think that most people still just want to laugh?
02:11:06.220
But I think it's just like, it's like, you know, it's like, no one's going to let themselves
02:11:18.780
Do we keep ourselves from, yeah, we all get on this alert kind of where it's like, don't
02:11:25.260
You know, I mean, I got upset over the pandemic over like during the like last big election
02:11:31.900
thing because the only people that people were making fun of was poor white people.
02:11:37.700
And it was like, well, what the fuck did we do?
02:11:40.320
Poor white people didn't even like we didn't do it.
02:11:45.380
Like, I'm not sure that wealthier white people probably owned slaves.
02:11:50.880
I don't think they ever had a slave, you know, or they're they might have.
02:11:57.040
It's just if you look at it generally, totally socially acceptable to make fun of poor white
02:12:07.200
And it and and none of it should be acceptable.
02:12:10.320
Unfortunately or fortunately, things do need to be mixed up a bit and you need.
02:12:16.560
And, you know, I always I use the example of in 2020 learning about Juneteenth.
02:12:23.820
I was like, I didn't fucking I was telling black friends.
02:12:32.320
I had no clue that there was my black friends have no idea what it is.
02:12:40.320
But it's like if you'd asked any black kid where I'm from or what Juneteenth was, I'd have
02:12:46.100
No, but it's it's interesting what you're saying about like it's like, oh, yeah, it's
02:12:49.200
easy to make fun of fucking, you know, poor white people.
02:12:52.560
I feel like that's another symptom of the social sort of, again, the the the silt at the bottom
02:12:58.140
of the ocean getting getting getting smoked up.
02:13:01.020
Do you think we as comedians and we have to be the ones to kind of like see where the
02:13:07.700
Yes, I think, you know, in in in your avenue with with podcasting and stand up and sort
02:13:14.480
of, you know, I'm primarily an actor, but I love doing weird shit on the Internet and
02:13:19.780
And also, you know, if I can be responsible for any sort of weird creative shit, if I ever
02:13:25.360
get to, you know, work on things and make stuff, it's it is up to us.
02:13:29.860
But it is also it's quite a responsibility because we're it's this bizarre currency of
02:13:37.640
quote unquote cancellation, which some people don't even think exists, which is to me, it's
02:13:49.580
And I think that you have to be you have to be a brave comedian to kind of look, it's
02:13:58.340
not fun to just go out there and go, I want things to be the way they used to be in the
02:14:02.740
That to me, to me personally, as a comedy fan, to me, that's hack.
02:14:09.740
Great comedians have a complete like I'm sure you you love my love George Carlin.
02:14:16.320
That that guy was always years ahead of his time and always shot right down the middle.
02:14:24.400
And he represented himself completely honestly.
02:14:27.240
I think that, you know, comedians who who are being 100 percent honest and not just trying
02:14:34.660
to, you know, be shocking for shocking sake or say, I should be allowed to say this because
02:14:43.360
You know, I think audiences today, that's fine.
02:14:45.940
But your audience is going to be awfully specialized if you just want to be a prick about things
02:14:52.240
and say everyone should laugh at these things that currently people are sensitive about and
02:14:59.360
If you can find new things to laugh about, there are new things to laugh about in our
02:15:12.200
You just said I got black friends I grew up with that wouldn't have known Juneteenth.
02:15:15.420
That's a joke you couldn't say in 1998 because absolutely nobody knew what the fuck you were
02:15:22.160
But 2020 was a really, was such a, you know, a rife year of, of, you know, the pandemic
02:15:37.820
So it's like now I think you, I think you can, but you got to be smart about it.
02:15:50.600
But, but I do think that, I think that people will start to chill out a little bit because
02:15:57.700
socially what happens in my opinion, my, it's just my opinion with these waves is that people
02:16:03.560
all get fucking tired, you know, at the end of the day, we just want to, most people just
02:16:10.300
They want to be able to take care of their families.
02:16:15.600
They want to know that if they go to the wrong fucking door, they're not going to get shot
02:16:20.600
The horrible shit that's happening right now because everyone is so wound up and charged
02:16:28.500
I realized the other day I'm walking up to a car and it was, it wasn't my car.
02:16:35.700
There's somebody sitting in that car and I'm like, oh my God, that person could fucking
02:16:44.140
And I wouldn't even think it was crazy because that's just where the fear level is at.
02:16:48.540
It's like all these POV videos of all this fear.
02:16:57.700
And I'm never afraid of anything because I look like a gigantic football coach cop and
02:17:03.740
I drive a Tahoe so I could technically be a park ranger.
02:17:16.180
And this is what I thought he was going to get into was like a regular guy's job after
02:17:27.020
Yeah, I got, you got to get the moons over my, they're making the moons over my hammy
02:17:37.900
You got, you got, let me tell you something about these people out here eating mozzarella
02:17:44.860
I've eaten mozzarella sticks at Bohemian Grove.
02:17:49.880
Just originally, and originally it was just a place for these globalist people to,
02:17:57.020
it was actually a lot of closeted homosexual activity happening there, mostly by Republicans.
02:18:02.480
But Democrats took it over and John F. Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy Jr., Bobby Kennedy, they went
02:18:12.020
And they're deep in the forest wearing robes like druids.
02:18:28.220
Just always ripping off his fucking polo shirt.
02:18:37.560
You know, and these people are, they're reptiles.
02:18:44.980
I've been next to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton.
02:18:51.060
They come in, they open rends in the fabric of time and space.
02:19:01.720
Everybody wants the same thing at the end of the day.
02:19:03.620
They just want to be able to watch, you know, sit down, eat their frijoles.
02:19:27.400
I'm about to go shoot a movie in Canada called 1989.
02:19:34.040
With, um, you ever heard of a Canadian cult classic called Fubar?
02:19:41.660
So there's Fubar, and there's Fubar 2, and this fucking, uh, brilliant dude, there's these
02:19:49.880
And one of them, Paul Spence, who's, uh, he's the one in the green on the right there.
02:19:56.060
So it's the, it's the origin story of the Diener, of Dean.
02:20:01.160
And I play his dad, and it's sort of like, and he's, he's part, uh, First Nations, so there's
02:20:06.900
sort of that bent to it, which will be interesting, which is a very Canadian theme.
02:20:12.440
I'm doing another season of the show, Acapulco, and then, uh, I don't know, just picking up
02:20:18.560
It's fucking weird now, because we got this strike.
02:20:21.980
Listen, I just want to do, again, you know, I would love to just play the dad in, what
02:20:35.900
Uh, that's, that would be, at this point, you know, look, here's some more, here's
02:20:46.480
When I think about, you know, what my pad Chad Culchin says with regard to AI, and he'll
02:20:52.480
point right the fuck at me and go, your job will be obsolete very soon.
02:20:59.520
He's a brilliant writer, and he goes, bring it on, motherfucker.
02:21:02.540
And he's doing a couple podcasts, so I guess his bread is buttered there.
02:21:14.000
You have some, you offer so much joy and talent to people.
02:21:26.540
You're fucking up in front of thousands of people bringing your stories out there.
02:21:30.440
That's, you're one of the best doing it right now, period.
02:21:36.560
I feel like you're a, you're a really, really talented, man.
02:21:58.620
Just, you know, hang out at home, and when you eat them chicken McNuggets, know that
02:22:02.800
two, you know, probably underprivileged children that were 10 years old made your nuggets.
02:22:09.980
So when you get to the center, and you see that it's pink, and you realize, oh, fuck,
02:22:14.700
you know, now I'm going to be shitting myself all night.
02:22:20.220
Get your own fucking fryer, and go out to Bohemian Grove, and make your own fucking,
02:22:25.900
make a fire, and boil some peanut oil, and make your own chicken nuggets.
02:22:35.060
There's a lot of, you want to talk about, you want to talk about, what is it, Spaceland
02:22:38.700
Pizza or whatever, without the basement, where the guy went in there and shot it up.
02:22:46.660
You're listening to Tchaikovsky and just coming as hard as you can out there.
02:22:51.180
There's nothing but forest out there at Bohemian Grove.
02:22:54.280
Come as loud as you want, you crazy old weird fucking pervert lady.
02:23:02.920
You know, fucking sex party style like Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz, and no one knows who's
02:23:11.840
There's a little heat in there, and then I pull it out, and I hear, oh, and I'm like,
02:23:17.760
I've made him come several times at Bohemian Grove.
02:23:22.140
Nancy Pelosi wearing a strap-on fucking Mitch McConnell in the ass, and then just put,
02:23:38.520
I reminisce about the days of old when you could make shitty jokes on MADtv.
02:23:50.860
You know what I think is interesting, though, Will?
02:23:52.760
I think, in the end, I think we all end up back in the Native American style.
02:24:03.540
And I think we all end up back in small tribes trying our best to take care of each other
02:24:08.600
and begging for the information of the nations, you know, the original nations people.
02:24:20.220
The Earth has a way of making itself new, whether or not we're here.
02:24:24.380
And it's like Ed Norton said in Fight Club, in the future I see, you will be climbing the
02:24:30.880
wrist-thick kudzu vines up the Sears Tower because all this shit will be turned off.
02:24:52.700
And I learned a lot of stuff about fucking chimps.
02:24:59.300
And I feel like, and they just want to take care of their own.
02:25:02.440
And every once in a while, they kill someone from the other fucking tribe to show like,
02:25:10.100
And speaking as a Canadian, I would love nothing more than to, you know, than to, you know,
02:25:18.500
That's been, again, prepared by any of the guys at the sushi place that are searing the
02:25:22.840
top with a fucking, with a, with a, a freshly used AK-47.
02:25:29.540
A lot of times they're doing, they're like painting their eyes like that on the edge of
02:25:32.980
Mexican guys to make them even look Asian in a lot of like Japanese restaurants.
02:25:47.460
I'm wearing these shorts and now I got the same, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm,
02:25:51.380
I'm, yeah, we got, I'm moistening your chair again.
02:25:55.020
I got glittery knees and, and fucking wet thighs right now.
02:26:19.840
Um, Mexico's Chinese communities are seeing reverse migration.
02:26:35.620
Um, Will Sasso, ladies and gentlemen, you can check him out on the Dudesy pod.
02:26:41.560
Um, I think we talked about a lot of stuff, huh?
02:27:03.740
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
02:27:11.300
And I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time