E445 Brianna Chickenfry
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 48 minutes
Words per Minute
207.87733
Summary
Brianna Chicken Fry is a podcaster and personality at Barstool Sports and a personality just as a human. She's a member of the BFFs Podcast with Josh Richards and Dave Portnoy, and she has her own podcast, Plan Brie Uncut.
Transcript
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We will come back through or hopefully we will also add some shows.
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Plus, we've got the Root Beer t-shirts from the Root Beer cartoon.
00:02:31.960
Hey guys, I'm in the West Village of New York City today.
00:02:43.520
She has a beautiful coffee shop and flowery or floral shop called Rose Crayons.
00:02:53.280
And she let us use this vintage carriage house today to record in.
00:03:00.940
If you want to support her or some of her businesses in the village in New York City,
00:03:09.920
And we are very grateful for this beautiful space that we get to record in today.
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Today's guest is a podcaster and a personality at Barstool Sports.
00:03:24.060
And we're going to hopefully learn more about that today.
00:03:27.280
She's a member of the BFFs podcast with Josh Richards and Dave Portnoy.
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She has her own podcast as well, Plan Brie Uncut.
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He's very mischievous, that guy, I feel like, sometimes.
00:04:54.380
And then he's just the king and everybody worships him.
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No, not Disney or Universal, like at a shitty fairground.
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You're more animated than I thought you would be.
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Yeah, like you were doing all these moves and shit.
00:05:35.640
I got, you know, or I'm going to, I guess, yeah, people maybe think you would be still
00:05:49.960
Yeah, well, I think you have to keep people's attention, too, you know?
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And you're just one thing, and you have to tell a story with just your body.
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Like, you only have so much, like, you know, you have to, I think, people's attention spans,
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I think, seem short, so you want to keep them engaged.
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I love going to, I usually just go to, like, open mics, though.
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Oh, yeah, because, yeah, so I see you on TikTok.
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So whenever Dave came on the show, he said, he's like, oh, we have a lot of young, we
00:06:33.700
make a lot of stars over at, those weren't his exact words.
00:06:36.900
But I was like, you guys, you have a good eye for talent.
00:06:39.340
So we're talking about, oh, Dave, you got a good eye for talent.
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And he's like, yeah, we have some great talent right now.
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And he named a couple of people, but he named you.
00:07:05.740
They always say I'm doing so well, but I don't really see that.
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I know she's like, you know, I see you just on the internet.
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I know that she, you know, likes to drink or do drugs or whatever, you know, or, and
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So you could probably drink through your vagina.
00:07:32.280
I mean, I don't know if some girls there can really.
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They'll find, they'll get a beer down or they'll get a beer up.
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I can get it up, but no, everyone thinks I do a bunch of drugs.
00:07:42.500
I went, I did the Nelk podcast the other day and they sit me down.
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I think I'm like a big, everyone thinks I'm a big coke head because my thing is sleep
00:08:02.380
I got a lot of more people in my family do drugs than don't do drugs.
00:08:11.440
And so now when you say that, um, that you don't do drugs, are you onto the influx?
00:08:17.060
Do you have any drugs in your system right now?
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I haven't taken it in a while, but I have a long day.
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So I might have a heart attack or like shit myself a little bit.
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I opened it up because I was like, maybe I'll just take half and it's just cocaine in there.
00:08:51.460
Anytime you get something from like a CVS, but it's a powder, it's like, that's kind of
00:09:05.440
I remember I found the pill on the gym mat one time and I just slurped it up.
00:09:13.460
Could have been, could have been for like erectile dysfunction.
00:09:23.440
I thought, you know, I felt, yeah, it was like, all right, let's see what God wants to
00:09:28.360
You know, somebody had fallen out of somebody's pocket at the gym.
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Did you stay at the gym longer than you thought?
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I mean, it was probably about seven years ago, but so it's been quite a ride since.
00:09:39.020
I don't know what the half life of like something like that is, you know?
00:09:44.760
So yeah, I guess I just, we just want to get to know you.
00:09:57.000
Or just like, yeah, what is, does this lady have a real plan?
00:10:00.160
Is this lady just kind of living willy nilly, you know, like what's some of the goal
00:10:27.240
Dude, I bet they had you fallen into like a fisherman's net.
00:10:40.760
My parents got, my parents should have never got married.
00:10:43.140
So they got married when my mom was 10 months pregnant at like a random gazebo, a gazebo
00:11:12.060
I think it's like, it's not the thing for SeaWorld.
00:11:14.800
It's not the, they're not like the people killing the.
00:11:20.800
It's, she wants, so she, she gets level four spray tans.
00:11:25.040
So I, for reference, I get level one spray tan and she'll go in, she'll get level four.
00:11:38.540
She's doing well now, but that's the oldest sister.
00:11:40.860
So that was like my, that was my role model growing up.
00:11:56.060
And she hangs out with all, I thought she was hanging out with all black people, but
00:12:04.040
So you could, this is what you get canceled for nowadays.
00:12:05.900
If you get too dark, like spray tans or if you wear box braids, which is my sister.
00:12:11.040
Like people that do the chocolate body, like the bar, um, weightlifting.
00:12:34.900
Like, is it like, yeah, but she's never kept, but she's only dating white guys.
00:12:40.840
I never, like, we had a lot of like, when I was growing up, they just called them kind
00:12:45.500
It's like, we had like a lot of wiggas back in the day.
00:12:47.700
And it was like, you know, you'd see like, it was a lot of first gingers were doing it,
00:12:52.780
Cause I think they were so white that it almost is like a, like it's, everything's
00:12:58.540
So I think if you get so white, you're almost back around to being black.
00:13:03.520
And then sometimes you would see the black guy that's white.
00:13:08.960
But I'm not talking like a lot, like just, you know, I'm talking about the guy who like
00:13:12.880
the guy that looks like, you know, when you go see the tigers and they have that white
00:13:18.920
Like sometimes there's the black guy that has, that's complete.
00:13:25.000
It's like, uh, somebody trapped in a, um, yeah, it's like, uh, I don't know what you
00:13:35.400
It's almost like they took a black guy and they put painted him white, painted him
00:13:42.260
So it's like a little, yeah, it's like, um, it's almost like something that God got
00:13:46.360
a, like somebody for Christmas or something like God's like, I'm going to make something
00:13:53.020
So anyway, so yeah, that's what we're talking about your sister, right?
00:13:58.480
So you've got a sister that's really out there.
00:14:09.280
So we have the black fissure and then we have the, the next one in age.
00:14:30.280
But that one, that one she's, she means well, but she's, um, she's not doing well now.
00:14:35.560
And then we got my good sister and then I found out I had a brother when I was 12.
00:14:41.020
They just like pulled a curtain back and they're like, here he is.
00:14:48.820
Cause my dad, my dad put the brother up for adoption when he was like 15 or something.
00:14:52.720
So the black fissure found this brother and brought him to Thanksgiving when I was 12.
00:15:05.080
So a lot, was it, was it chaotic or was it fun?
00:15:18.180
So South Boston is like, what's it like over there?
00:15:20.540
It's like, it's like, it's like all the people, South Boston used to be all the people that
00:15:26.700
lived in the projects and then they moved like a couple streets over.
00:15:47.780
And my mom, I think, almost dated a mechanic one time, but I don't know if she did or not,
00:15:51.360
but we would always, she would always go there and take the car in and we'd have to
00:15:57.980
We would sit outside of the car, but I don't know if he was really fixed in it or if they
00:16:09.000
Well, he was, he was like a raging alcoholic and then I was born and my mom was like ultimatum.
00:16:16.240
And then he stopped, but he did some other shit and then he became a mechanic.
00:16:22.120
A lot of people that quit doing drugs, they end up, I feel like they get into like mechanic
00:16:31.060
And where did you graduate from, from high school?
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Like, when did you get like, like, when did you start dating or whatever?
00:16:50.320
I didn't start dating until I was like a senior, a senior in high school.
00:16:55.780
I was molested by a lot, like three separate, three separate lesbians when I was younger.
00:17:01.600
And that's why I can't, my second sister just, well, I shouldn't say her name, but
00:17:11.580
So I would spend all my summers in the trailer park because that's what my dad would just
00:17:15.640
And then he'd go be a mechanic and my mom was working.
00:17:17.420
And there was a two, two separate lesbians at the trailer park.
00:17:28.780
I can't have a one night stand because it's bringing me back.
00:17:36.360
I guess they're pedophiles or lesbians, but yeah.
00:17:47.680
So when do you get like your first brassiere or whatever?
00:18:01.040
So I don't have a good relationship with my mom.
00:18:02.640
So I'm going to be like, mom, let's go get a bra.
00:18:32.080
I always, I guess I never, I never wondered that, but I guess I was just thinking about
00:18:35.120
Like, do you, how do you get a bra if you're a girl?
00:18:37.060
Like, you know, it's like the government like mail you like your first bra or is it like.
00:18:41.160
They give you this book, actually in fifth grade, they give all these girls a book and
00:18:44.920
it like shows you all the different size of nipples and all the different size of boobs.
00:19:01.220
No, it was, it was always the, it was the nurse.
00:19:08.080
I'm trying to think of what happened at our school.
00:19:14.160
They would always get like the most trustworthy man at school and like five or six kids and
00:19:21.900
And I remember we came in and this time he had on sunglasses and he was, it was like his
00:19:29.200
He like didn't want to be seen doing it or something, but we know it's him, right?
00:19:35.440
We've seen him and he was up there just like pointing at all the stuff and everything.
00:19:40.100
And, uh, people are losing their fucking minds, you know, like kids like jerking off in the
00:19:45.840
Like there's people like, wait, did you have a jerker?
00:19:50.020
Like, did you ever see the kid jerk off in class?
00:19:54.680
We had this one class where people would, it was like the thing to kind of jerk off in
00:20:13.500
Like three quarters of the way through the class.
00:20:19.380
Well, I remember people would, they had a book and people would try, like the goal I
00:20:23.100
think was by the end of the year to have somebody like the conglomerate of youth in
00:20:27.080
the group to have jerked off in every page, like to completely like turn the book into
00:20:31.300
like a xylophone, you know, like an accordion, like by the end you could fucking, you play
00:20:38.140
it, you could hire a fat Italian guy to fucking, you know, make it a beautiful mother's day
00:20:44.400
So, um, but yeah, I remember that thing got passed around and it's still, it started
00:20:48.660
to look like, like kind of like a, Oh yeah, dude.
00:20:55.120
It was almost kind of cool at the end of the year.
00:20:56.360
It was almost like having somebody sign your yearbook, but it was all men.
00:21:00.800
That was kind of the sad part, you know, and you couldn't even fit it in your book bag
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Then they just show you the video of someone giving birth.
00:24:04.820
And they even showed the faces and the dad was holding the hand and everything.
00:24:22.980
Who's like, we want to show this to every 12-year-old in America.
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The craziest part is to be if she's at a party or something and somebody's like, hey, do you guys remember Janet?
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And then somebody's just like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:24:52.120
Yeah, does this ring a bell and they just like throw a watermelon out from behind their leg?
00:25:01.940
I wonder if they even put her in the credits at the end, you know?
00:25:20.780
They had this TV show called Hands on a Hard Body.
00:25:23.800
It was like they told these people in Mississippi, if you all show up at like this Walmart and like put your hand on this.
00:25:34.820
Like a, it was kind of like a Ford Escort, a Ford Explorer.
00:25:42.400
Like if you show up at this, if you show up at this small, you put your hand on this SUV, the last person with their hand on gets to keep the SUV, right?
00:25:51.120
So people showed up and people are fucking washing their hand and fucking being all fired up.
00:25:55.720
People are doing like this and getting their hand ready, you know, and shaking hands and fucking high-fiving and doing this.
00:26:01.980
Just little tricks that don't mean anything and just getting their hands ready.
00:26:05.240
And then, so then they started off, they put like everybody's got their hand on the car, right?
00:26:08.760
Like two minutes in, one dude's like, he takes his hand on him.
00:26:12.340
Like they're interviewing him and his hands are off because he went like that.
00:26:15.680
So like by 30 hours, like people haven't slept, there's like nine people left.
00:26:21.520
And there's this one brother on there and they keep saying to him, man, you're going to win.
00:26:25.100
He's like, yeah, my friend's bringing me on Nestle bar when he gets here with that bitch.
00:26:30.920
He's like, when I get my sugar up, bro, it's a fucking wrap for all these bitches, right?
00:26:35.360
And the other bitch is just like a senior, like an old lady who may be dead.
00:26:39.080
She's like, they just leaned her against the back of it and like two other people.
00:26:44.400
He hands in the Nestle bar, he takes his hand off to fucking get it and he's out.
00:26:48.780
So anyway, that kind of reminds me of like everybody being around the mom, like with their hands on her, you know?
00:27:04.860
And did you like, and then, so you had a boyfriend in senior high school, you said?
00:27:10.100
Yeah, that's when I got into the dating, senior high school.
00:27:13.100
And did y'all go to a dance or anything like that?
00:27:17.960
I met him, I met him on a cruise ship when I was 16 and he lived in Ohio.
00:27:25.160
But then I, but then I, I backed up and I moved to Ohio.
00:27:35.020
And then I broke up with him because I was like, this is weird.
00:27:41.420
Well, that's probably not that crazy, but what school was the, um, what school were you guys at?
00:27:47.380
He didn't go to my college, but I went to, it was called Baldwin Wallace.
00:27:56.040
So you were artistic and you like doing artsy stuff?
00:28:16.160
Yeah, I don't know, they got their hand on a truck somewhere.
00:28:19.540
Dude, I had to freaking, I didn't nanny or whatever, but like some guy from the gym hired me to watch his kids for like two weeks, bro.
00:28:31.360
Well, I remember like, I feel so bad about this, but I like found like a bunch of porn at the parents' house or whatever.
00:28:38.980
And like, so I would just, I was torn between like, you know, making sure these kids got off to school and stuff.
00:28:45.200
And then like, like just looking at different pornography that they had at the house.
00:29:15.420
As I feel like if you, if you, if you get a kid and you know, if you look at, if you really, they seem like.
00:29:23.000
Some of them are fucking idiots, you know, but some of them seem like they know what's up.
00:29:45.460
I was doing all right, but I wasn't like, I wasn't that good.
00:29:48.640
I was like bottom of the class, but I still like a three, two.
00:29:54.500
And I was, I wanted to be a, I wanted to be a PA.
00:30:01.960
So it's like the least time in medical school, but you make the most money.
00:30:07.300
Cause I only had to go to two years of med school after.
00:30:18.720
And was your first Tik TOK like at the pre, was it involving like medical stuff or notice
00:30:35.900
You're always hung over and having to like travel.
00:30:38.880
You're always hung over and having to like go back into the world and deal with whatever
00:30:42.500
You're like, this is how you like, yeah, this is how you like, this is how you like, this
00:30:51.000
If you had too many white claws at a prosthetic conference, you know, like there's now I realize,
00:31:06.840
You're doing Tik TOKs, but then do you feel like you have to get fucked up though?
00:31:12.760
Cause that was my, that's why people followed me.
00:31:14.660
So I was like, I'm, I've always got to be drunk whenever, when people meet me, cause
00:31:18.100
I'm socially awkward and on, on social media, I'm not socially awkward.
00:31:21.620
So when people meet me and I'm sober, they're like, Whoa, you're weird.
00:31:31.040
I feel like when I meet people out, they want me to be so like crazy and over the top, but
00:31:37.040
So that's what, so I was just drunk all the time.
00:31:41.820
You seem like an alcoholic that like fucking like, um, commandeered like an urban outfit
00:31:51.140
And I mean that in like the sweetest way possible.
00:31:54.320
Is it because you feel like you make the best stuff when you're hung over?
00:31:57.780
Like you make, like your brain is the most creative then or something?
00:32:07.400
I just was hung over all the time and I didn't think anyone was going to follow me.
00:32:10.660
That's why I just, I made my shit chicken fry and I'm stuck with it.
00:32:18.000
Cause I was thinking, I was, I remember asking David if I thought it was like a Native American
00:32:24.260
Cause I was trying to think, cause I grew up around, they had a lot of Native Americans by
00:32:32.540
And it's named after the Chifuncta Indians, right?
00:32:36.940
But they got their name because a long time ago, one of them threw like a big rock into
00:32:43.500
the water and that's a sound that it made when it went in.
00:32:52.960
Oh, then I should say that I should make up a cool story about chicken fry.
00:32:59.240
Cause everyone asks me and it's not a cool story.
00:33:01.240
Um, yeah, I think it sounds like it could have some, um, chicken fry.
00:33:08.080
It sounds like it could have some like, maybe some African history to it or some Native history.
00:33:15.480
You know, it sounds like it could have a chef, you know, maybe Emeril.
00:33:20.940
Maybe you relate it to like, um, Wolfgang Puck or that, whatever that guy's name is.
00:33:26.200
But I'm trying to think of what else you could do with it.
00:33:36.820
What about, what would other Native American names be for like the other people at Barstool?
00:33:48.200
Do you think they all start with like the ch sound?
00:33:57.080
Because he gambles and he, and he sold the business for a lot of money.
00:34:14.500
Because he went, when he was on here, he was telling me he went to a cheese shop.
00:34:17.080
He knows a lot of, um, he knows a man who's a cheese monger.
00:34:21.720
Who is somebody who like, is like basically the Batman of cheese, right?
00:34:28.820
Like, like Glenny went to like a fucking, Glenny's like, I'm walking down the street.
00:34:33.300
Some guy pops out of a cheese shop, like the head of cheese, like Mr. Cheese, fucking
00:34:38.000
like Larry Queso's fucking white boss, you know, like he fucking pops out, you know,
00:34:43.240
fucking Ronnie mozzarella pops out of the back and he's like, this way, son.
00:34:47.080
And he like took him into the back of like a cheese world.
00:34:49.960
And then he said, he sat at like a beautiful, it was a real story.
00:34:54.720
The first story he told me, he goes, we sat at a beautiful table and the guy keeps bringing
00:34:59.080
out different cheeses and this and that and grew here and grew here and grew everywhere.
00:35:04.100
Like, he's just like every type of cheese came out, you know?
00:35:07.700
And then like three hours later, they just like threw him back out into the fucking street.
00:35:15.760
Oh, that must've been a good day for Glennie though.
00:35:34.580
He was basically the first male cheerleader at the University of North Carolina, but he
00:35:42.080
We were out, we were out a couple of weekends ago and, um, the owner of a bar that he brought
00:35:53.380
He's like, you know, I'm just like, I really respect you.
00:35:57.600
Caleb like brings out the Sharpie and he couldn't think of what to write on.
00:36:05.120
It was probably his original Jersey and it was still clean.
00:36:22.040
Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha,
00:36:29.860
Um, I saw him win $20,000 at a casino and then tried to buy the late, the, the card tender
00:36:44.360
Well, he saw, I won't when he's like, I'm buying this bitch a Kia Sorento.
00:36:47.360
And that's when people are like, you got to leave.
00:36:51.120
And literally you could see how bummed out she was cause she knew she was about to get
00:36:54.580
But just because he called her a bitch, the pit boss is like, we don't use that language
00:37:01.680
It's like, dude, you can call me a bitch if you're going to get me a fucking Kia Sorento.
00:37:09.020
Kia Sorento was also, we had a lot, that Kia company, they named their cars.
00:37:13.060
I feel like after a lot of like black girls that went to my high school.
00:37:25.220
Dog, you telling me Kia Optima didn't fucking play basketball for the women's basketball
00:37:42.060
So does she throw up gang signs and stuff or what is she like?
00:37:49.620
There was a whole time she was on, she's been doing, she's, she was going through it
00:37:57.580
No, but there was a period of time where she was doing meth or something.
00:38:06.400
But then she like, she dropped off her, um, her TV at my house, all of her phones.
00:38:20.500
And so blackfishing is when you try to go to the black side.
00:38:25.720
Or you want, you want to be perceived as black, but then if anyone were to be racist,
00:38:34.740
I used to, I think sometimes, man, when I was young, I related to a lot of the black kids so
00:38:38.500
I would, but then when it came down to one time, me and this, my friend Devin, we were
00:38:44.300
fishing and, uh, and he was black and some white kid guy was throwing rocks up from this
00:38:51.520
We were fishing on this bank and he started calling us the N word.
00:38:55.620
And I was like, not me, you know what I'm saying?
00:38:59.520
Like, you know, like I was like, I was down with Devin until that part.
00:39:03.940
And then I realized like, I mean, fuck the guy throwing rocks, you know, the guy's a piece
00:39:07.500
of shit, but at the same time, like, yeah, I don't include, you know what I'm saying?
00:39:12.340
Like, that's when I realized I'm only there, you know, he was my friend and I was going
00:39:50.320
I think comics are intrinsically kind of like, or do they do a lot of stuff by themselves?
00:39:57.500
Well, yeah, I feel like comics always want this big, like, oh, we're so, we're so dark and
00:40:02.000
sad and lonely, but like, are they every single one of them?
00:40:07.160
I, I think a lot of them have, or a lot of them probably have a lot of like strange stuff
00:40:11.880
or weird things that they, that they ended up needing to go get people to look at them.
00:40:20.240
So I think someone probably have some dark stuff like that.
00:40:22.720
You know, I bet someone probably have some pretty dark things.
00:40:25.700
So I think there's probably some truth to that.
00:40:27.500
But I think also now there's, there's a lot more like people that are funny from like
00:40:33.100
TikTok, from like short clips, from like different things like that.
00:40:36.240
So I think you're getting like a lot more, um, like, I don't even know if, like, I don't
00:40:45.640
know if, if there's as many, if I'm starting out now as a comedian, I wonder, do I try and
00:40:52.080
get on stage, which is where you learn to be a comedian, right?
00:41:00.540
Well, also as, cause you do stand up and everything, do you, do you like respect the people that
00:41:06.600
Cause I know a lot of standup comics that are like, they hate people that start on TikTok
00:41:14.200
I remember I got jealous when there was a lot of YouTubers, there was like, um, Roman
00:41:19.380
Atwood, uh, Dennis, Roman and Dennis were partner, Dennis Rohde, um, Fousey tube.
00:41:29.180
Some of those guys were touring and going to comedy clubs, right?
00:41:32.200
And they would do their shows during the day, even a lot of times.
00:41:37.100
I mean, I was jealous, you know, because they were having more success.
00:41:41.440
Like you had comics, you've been on the road for like nine years going to these clubs.
00:41:45.020
And then these guys were showing up and having their audience come see them at a comedy club.
00:41:50.880
So I think that's what made it a little strange for us.
00:41:54.800
Well, it was like, oh, you're doing it at our space.
00:41:58.360
But those clubs just happened to be kind of the size for the audiences they were bringing.
00:42:03.680
So that's, I never really thought about why there was, there was like in the beginning,
00:42:08.040
there was like some angst towards, for me anyway.
00:42:13.760
It was angst towards some of the, uh, vloggers.
00:42:17.460
Cause it was like, fuck their son at my club for like a five o'clock show.
00:42:20.780
Cause some of their audience would be children.
00:42:25.140
And then they did, they, they, they, they, they do a daytime show comedy though.
00:42:29.040
Or they were just getting up there and they would get up on stage and like shoot a
00:42:32.140
t-shirt cannon or something, you know, or fucking, you know, or do like a cheer.
00:42:44.500
They were doing body rolls, dude, which is way weird to do for a fucking bunch of children.
00:43:03.500
They were selling out the comedy, the comedy story.
00:43:09.940
And I was outside, I was waiting for my show, which was at seven o'clock that nobody was
00:43:14.980
You're out there and you're heading it on the street trying to body roll.
00:43:22.580
So I think, uh, I think there maybe, I think there could be some angst about it.
00:43:30.220
I think at that time there was probably some angst about it, but now I think that it's,
00:43:37.640
A lot of comedians aren't thinking that you go to the stage first.
00:43:40.560
I think there's some, if you're a comedian right now who does, who's working really hard
00:43:46.240
in the clubs, but you're having trouble on social media, it must be extremely frustrating.
00:43:50.780
I'd be mad because there's, well, I mean a lot of the standup comics that do like TikTok
00:43:55.940
first, they just have their few clips that go viral and then people will come see them
00:44:05.740
If you get more popular than where you can support it with your own comedy.
00:44:13.320
I went to, I see a bunch of people because I follow, I mean, I'm friends with a bunch of
00:44:16.520
influencers and TikTokers, so I'll follow them on TikTok and like, I'll see their
00:44:20.160
standup on TikTok and then you go see them and it's like those same jokes that went viral.
00:44:24.940
That's like their two big hits in the show and then the rest is just like a lull.
00:44:29.440
But I think some people, I don't even know if like a real young audience, if they even
00:44:33.100
know like that there is this whole standup comedy thing or do they just think I'm going
00:44:41.140
I'm going to capture it on my phone, on socials and then that's going to be that.
00:44:45.520
Well, yeah, they must not because they keep going.
00:44:48.880
So I guess like a live podcast is what they think it is.
00:44:53.600
But there's something really special about seeing, um, if there's somebody you watch on
00:44:59.660
TikTok and social media and you enjoy them, right?
00:45:04.920
I've like sat in the audience before and been like, oh man, this is so cool.
00:45:16.960
Like it'd be great if the material is also great, but just being in the same room as
00:45:21.660
them, it's almost like you get like a moment, like in, in like in reality, like it's cool.
00:45:36.720
I was like, yeah, I can't remember the last time that I saw this lady.
00:45:39.520
And then I was like, oh, I never saw this lady.
00:45:47.420
I was like, I feel like I, I saw this guy before, but I never saw this guy before.
00:45:53.000
Um, but I know some of your, even just watching you, like I see some of you, just like some
00:45:56.600
of your mannerisms are the same, but, um, which makes sense.
00:46:06.040
And, and you got a boyfriend in your senior year.
00:46:37.520
Um, but I was dating him for two years and I realized, I don't, I don't know why I went
00:46:43.280
I don't know why I went to Ohio out of everywhere.
00:47:24.120
Do you let the men meet each other like in passing?
00:47:26.540
Like, is there like a moment where you get out of one car and into an like, you know,
00:47:30.560
is there that at least give the men that moment?
00:47:38.200
Well, cause I usually just, I just date my friends.
00:47:40.760
So like we'll be in the same friend group and then they'll all know each other.
00:47:46.000
And the guy, the guy I'm dating currently usually can tell that I'm, I'm going to want
00:47:52.900
But I'm saying like always, it's been like three times.
00:48:06.000
I mean, I know one guy, he's not a detective, but he'll fucking, he'll find out.
00:48:10.320
But, um, when he hears this, he will, you know, but, uh, but definitely, um, what were
00:48:19.280
Dude, you gotta fucking let them meet each other.
00:48:23.280
Just like, um, and it seemed like you might have a problem then.
00:48:36.280
So I feel like I'll be in these relationships and I'm so worried.
00:48:52.840
But I think if I want to get, I'm so scared you get married and then like three weeks into
00:48:57.780
the marriage, you find that person that's like, oh, that's, I should have married that
00:49:07.240
But there's always going to be more of that guys, you know?
00:49:24.980
You're partying in the car pulls up the mafia car.
00:49:30.620
You get in, takes you guys only two blocks away.
00:49:40.200
Somebody's stepdad is out there fucking shooting at the moon, right?
00:49:44.500
Because he's been doing coke at the fucking nuptials.
00:49:47.120
But whatever, everybody's fucking having a good time, right?
00:49:50.380
And then two weeks later, yeah, you're at a Bucca de Beppa or something with your husband
00:49:58.520
and you fucking see there's a waiter and you're like, oh, I should have married that
00:50:24.240
Because then your husband, how is he always going to be able to make sure that he's the
00:50:30.960
Well, I think it was because, so when I was talking about earlier, my parents, I've never,
00:50:35.260
they were married for 18 years, my first 18 years of my life, but I never even saw them
00:50:44.400
So I have this whole thing that marriage is terrible.
00:50:47.960
I'm trying to, I'm trying to think maybe, maybe it's okay.
00:50:54.540
You need like a new, like a springtime in your heart.
00:51:03.800
Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
00:51:12.320
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00:51:24.420
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00:52:42.980
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00:52:47.820
Yeah, I think I only saw my mom and dad kiss one time.
00:52:59.360
Like the whole time my dad's lips were getting close to her head, we're all like,
00:53:01.980
somebody's going to get the fuck beaten out of her.
00:53:06.600
And I remember reaching over and my mom had like this fancy cake cutting tool.
00:53:23.140
And so I knew, I fucking remember reaching for that thing and just moving it out of her way.
00:53:27.780
Like as I saw my dad's lips towards her head, I'm like, somebody's going to fucking get hurt.
00:53:34.780
Like, yeah, I was like, my dad's about to fucking lose that brain cake that he's got, bro.
00:53:40.860
But she had had half a cup of champagne and she fucking took it.
00:53:56.920
Um, there was a lot of like, uh, tons of fear around.
00:54:02.600
I mean, yeah, I think that's the only, that's the closest I ever saw my parents get.
00:54:14.420
And then he moved to the basement cause it was darker down there.
00:54:19.180
And I remember I was like the one time I was like, my, Oh, they're doing well is when
00:54:25.060
But like when we would travel together, usually I would sit in the front seat and my mom would
00:54:30.160
But when my mom sat in the front, I was like, Ooh, maybe they're doing good.
00:54:40.080
It's almost like, cause it's darker down there.
00:54:41.820
It's almost like I want to kill myself, but I'm going to stay alive.
00:54:52.980
I remember at Christmas, we would have to go out to the Christmas tree that was out there
00:54:57.940
So we're like fucking dad is guarding the tree.
00:54:59.800
But my dad was, you know, my dad was very old when I was born.
00:55:11.600
So they had 38 years difference, which is a lot of time.
00:55:14.960
Um, and anyway, we would have to sneak out like past my dad.
00:55:21.560
And sometimes he would fucking wake up and ask us like, what was going on?
00:55:30.180
We would try to explain Christmas to him and shit.
00:55:32.720
Like he didn't know what the fuck was going on.
00:55:40.660
I remember one time we went trick or treating and, uh, we got all dressed up and we let,
00:55:46.180
and my dad, sometimes my mom, like she would make my dad do things, but she knew he couldn't
00:55:52.660
So it was like, she would kind of set him up for failure in a weird way.
00:55:55.980
She'd be like, I need you to get the kids Halloween costumes.
00:56:03.600
So my dad, he liked to drink sometimes and park his car in the ditch.
00:56:07.760
Those were like two of his favorite things to do.
00:56:10.660
And so he would come home with the Halloween costumes and it would be shit.
00:56:13.840
Like, like me and my brother were both raggedy and right.
00:56:17.280
So like just whatever he fucking found, like no, it was always the worst Halloween costume.
00:56:25.620
It wasn't even like the stuff you're supposed to put on the kids or whatever.
00:56:30.560
One of my sisters had a fucking pigtail that, that I remember mom had to cut off and we
00:56:38.220
Um, I had the same witch costume for like 12 years and it started not fitting anymore.
00:56:45.520
I was like, please can I be something else, please?
00:57:00.560
Um, but then I remember we went, we were finally got out and we get out and go trick or treat
00:57:08.600
Then we're like, we're going to come back to our own house.
00:57:20.300
He fucking gave us candy out of the bowl and just wish we just left like at 22 minutes ago
00:57:26.660
in the costumes that he fucking bought us, dude.
00:57:32.800
With my sister's fucking rock hard big tail like this.
00:58:04.980
So my whole demographic is like, I think it's 92% female.
00:58:10.140
And the, the newest 8% was only since I got a boob job.
00:58:33.720
I mean, I brought a new demographic to Barstool.
00:58:42.720
By lesbian pedophiles than a black fishing sister with a Chrysler 300.
00:58:49.900
But no, well, I was the top, I was the top creator at Barstool last month.
00:59:00.360
So I was like, maybe you're trying to get a TikTok audience.
00:59:09.060
We wanted to meet you because we don't know you.
00:59:23.340
Yeah, we just learned about Glenny Balls not long ago.
00:59:26.260
It was honestly one of the funnest interviews I'd ever had.
00:59:29.820
I mean, yeah, there's just something about the guy.
00:59:32.580
And he came out to the show the other night out in Westbury.
00:59:38.420
Remind me, Zach, to send a picture too so we can put it in.
00:59:42.700
They were all going, they were, yeah, driving, I think Canada or something like for some rare
00:59:46.480
meat festival or something or something, you know, they were doing something.
00:59:49.920
Somebody was opening up like a, like a special olive shop or something somewhere.
00:59:59.120
When you meet somebody who's driving cross country for a new condiment, it's fucking
01:00:08.900
There's just something, yeah, there's something awesome about that guy.
01:00:12.200
You know, he, he like, he pulls girls hard, like really hot girls too.
01:00:24.640
Well, he's handsome for one and his mother loves him.
01:00:37.460
I could see somebody being married to him and they didn't realize that it had, it was like,
01:00:53.480
We were talking about something and then we kind of went on to that.
01:00:59.460
How about if you had to, people do fuck, marry, kill all the time, but what about if
01:01:52.140
And then, oh, I guess that leaves me with Glenny.
01:02:15.880
I don't think Dave and I would get along that well if we were married.
01:02:28.360
I look at Dave, honestly, as kind of like a Paul Revere type of figure.
01:02:36.600
And he stands up for, he stands behind what he wants to say.
01:02:45.840
So, um, yeah, but I don't think we could be mad.
01:02:49.400
I mean, I don't want to be married to a man either.
01:02:57.440
But at least you got a man on the other end of it, you know?
01:03:04.140
I don't know if Frank, what his like kind of habits are at the house.
01:03:13.980
He did a live stream from his apartment, but it's when he first got it.
01:03:30.520
I don't want to have sex with Dave because I've seen some of his sex videos and some of
01:03:36.380
It just seems a lot, especially if I'm a man and he's a man, you know what I'm saying?
01:03:39.740
Like, if you do the body math, it's going to be a fucking, it's going to be, it's going
01:03:50.340
I'd have to, I guess I would have to kill him maybe.
01:04:11.440
So it could be like, you know, you blindfold everybody.
01:04:20.840
But yeah, I think you blindfold everybody and then you just kind of hope for the best.
01:04:29.920
So yeah, I think I would just be in and out of there, man.
01:04:41.740
So you quit working at the, um, so then did you quit college completely?
01:04:48.620
I was still in school when the barstool gave me an internship.
01:04:57.760
Oh, people, you must've been like the, it must've been insane.
01:05:15.120
Everyone just wanted to like take pictures and stuff.
01:05:20.980
So I stayed home and, but that's when I started my podcast.
01:05:23.840
I was like, well, I have to do this if I want to do it.
01:05:25.760
So I was just making a bunch, I was making like five videos a day.
01:05:31.260
And then I moved, I, I moved to New York and your podcast was what?
01:05:40.540
Um, and then, so then you got your own podcast going.
01:05:49.740
I tried to do school and Barstool, but I realized I was never going to get into PA school with
01:05:56.380
So I dropped out of school and then I moved to New York by myself.
01:06:10.180
So she doesn't, she doesn't understand what's going on.
01:06:12.400
But once I started like paying all my own bills, she was just like, this is good.
01:06:21.440
She doesn't have, she doesn't even know what a podcast is.
01:06:37.280
Dude, you got a fucking, who talked her into that?
01:06:41.400
She got a double knee replacement, but she took a look around everyone else.
01:06:49.600
She goes to the, um, she goes to the Y every day and swims.
01:07:13.760
It was like the place we would fucking go, boy.
01:07:20.600
Oh, the poor moms would drop their kids off at the fucking YMCA.
01:07:23.980
You would walk between there and they would kick you out of there and then you have to
01:07:28.040
I remember being in the library and being like, where can we swim?
01:07:31.960
I would sneak into the back with like the, the daycare, but it's like, it's just like 11
01:07:36.500
year old kids watching smaller kids and they all have smocks on for
01:07:44.380
And then I would sneak to the pool and they never let you go off the diving board though.
01:07:56.280
Especially if you, if the person on the diving board looks like the same person who's about
01:07:59.420
to jump off a building, it's really the same look.
01:08:01.800
Like if you ever see somebody about to jump off a building, like, I don't know if I should
01:08:05.720
It's the same look as a kid that shouldn't be going off that board.
01:08:21.900
I remember when we came, we're like, damn, what's wrong with her?
01:08:24.360
You know, I think she has cancer, like on her chest, like beautiful cancer, you know,
01:08:29.080
cause she just had these, you know, she had them growths on her.
01:08:33.240
And, uh, she ended up getting killed years later.
01:08:46.960
I hate to say that cause it's very sad and it takes a lot of people, but.
01:09:01.120
Somebody thought she was having twins or something.
01:09:02.780
Cause you saw like two heads coming out of her body.
01:09:12.120
And we fucking guessed what they were like, boy.
01:09:15.920
Like I remember we'd shake each other and be like, describe her fucking tits to me.
01:09:19.980
Like we were fucking, we really, really were excited.
01:09:26.400
How old, when you're a human male, how old do you start getting excited about tits?
01:09:37.520
There's one, there's like a physiological part of it.
01:09:46.980
Like, you'll be like, um, your, all your blood will run to the, like all your blood will run
01:09:54.780
If a woman's around, like literally you'll feel the back of your body just kind of fucking
01:10:01.540
Like you're so, there's just, you can't help that.
01:10:05.260
And so, and that's what happens with your wiener.
01:10:11.560
It's like a, but you know, on a turkey, whenever it gets warm enough in that thing, it's just
01:10:15.560
It's like, this is like some of the blood's like, Hey, we found a way.
01:10:19.160
And it's just like, Hey, this is as far as we can go.
01:10:28.600
So, uh, so that happens, but then there's another, there's like a visual thing that's kind of happens.
01:10:33.860
I think, um, when somebody has breath and you start to see them, you know, and then
01:10:42.580
you're real kind of, so there's that thing going on.
01:10:45.660
I think there's two things, but I don't know what age it's at.
01:10:48.860
Just whenever you hit, whenever you hit puberty.
01:10:54.100
If somebody like gets you real visually intrigued, you're almost intrigued from like a curious
01:10:59.900
Cause you know, one day you can't, you're going to care.
01:11:10.040
Um, and then I was at summer camp and they had a guy and he was dating one of the counselors.
01:11:16.000
So it was just like, yeah, they're just like the oldest kids get to fucking wash off.
01:11:20.180
And he would let us look down his girlfriend's shirt for a little while.
01:11:28.800
He like kind of got off on her or something at the park.
01:11:31.660
So I remember, especially if it rained out and there wasn't anything for us to do, he'd
01:12:05.960
So you get, so now you're in New York, you're living there.
01:12:09.260
And who'd you choose to live with and how'd you find a place?
01:12:29.680
And I, I called my best friend and I asked her to drop out of school and move to New York
01:12:36.960
Now, is that a best friend or is that somebody who is?
01:12:44.000
Like, what are we, what are we looking at here?
01:13:02.820
She seems like, uh, you guys have a lot of good time together.
01:13:05.720
So she's a, she's a, she's a down girl, but it could have went really bad.
01:13:12.020
So she couldn't, what do you mean knocking and running off or whatever?
01:13:27.180
I remember it was like Superbowl Sunday and she had to go from like the top of Manhattan
01:13:31.860
to like a fucking, to fucking try back out on foot in her Sorrel snow boots.
01:13:38.840
She did like, she was on foot for like three hours, but you only made one delivery because
01:13:54.600
Well, she could have, if she'd have been sponsored by North Face, dude.
01:14:00.700
That's gotta be, it was a, had to have been a three hour track on foot and she would come
01:14:07.260
home and she'd come home and she'd be like purple.
01:14:14.320
And I'd come home like, ah, I'll get you a job one day.
01:14:17.680
What about you get there and they're like, you forgot the sauce and then you just literally
01:14:22.020
take a sword out and just take your own life right there.
01:14:36.500
I mean, there should be like, I think in the future, so many people do door dash and stuff
01:14:41.180
now, you know, I think there will be a competition.
01:14:43.580
If they're smart, they'll turn into a competition where it's like, how do you get this chalupa right
01:14:48.300
through these different obstacles and get it to, yes.
01:14:51.640
Or like some type of way to do it, if they started to make like a cool, like a series
01:15:29.920
And, um, the manager or the assistant manager on Sunday, he was a, um, a BAC, right?
01:15:43.240
And so, we would do fake orders that came in, and we'd be like, oh, we got a call in
01:15:48.300
from, like, uh, Ricky Gervais or something, right?
01:15:54.420
Like, out on, like, Million Dollar Road, right?
01:15:57.820
Like, they had a place by us called Million Dollar Road.
01:16:07.760
But he didn't know any celebrities, because he was only through the church, everything he
01:16:10.920
saw was, so if you'd have been, like, Paul the Apostle, you know, down on Main Street,
01:16:17.580
But if you were, like, Ricky Gervais, he had no idea.
01:16:20.280
If you were, like, um, Sam Elliott, he had no idea, you know?
01:16:24.220
So, he would drive off and go deliver the stuff, and we would, um, we would deep fry
01:16:30.040
everything in the place, uh, like, any type of meats or even pudding.
01:16:37.960
So, we'd have fried pudding, chunks, and be drinking just draft beer.
01:16:42.220
And he'd come back, we'd be so fucked up, right?
01:16:47.180
Oh, he'd come rolling back in, and he'd be, like, Ricky Gervais doesn't want his pie.
01:16:53.820
And we were, like, just ripped at that point, so he would just be yelling, like, obscenities
01:16:58.040
and shit at him, and he'd get all pissed off at us.
01:17:02.420
I had to work at, I was court-ordered to work at, um, the water treatment facility in our
01:17:14.680
Um, get, you know, you would net it and stuff like that, get stuff out of it.
01:17:20.760
Uh, which is pretty crazy, because we would miss a lot of stuff, too.
01:17:34.040
I was, uh, um, I was, like, the girl that yelled the numbers, but I was, too, like, someone's
01:17:41.740
But I was, too, I was too nervous to yell them.
01:17:46.600
I was, like, so insecure and scared, so I wouldn't yell it.
01:17:53.120
And I'd just, like, I'd, like, find, I'd, like, look for people that were, like, looking,
01:17:56.640
waiting for their order, and I'd just give it to them.
01:18:20.560
Well, I had, like, a big bombshell bra, so it looked like I had something going on.
01:18:25.120
But you were in a, yeah, you were kind of, like, the, um, who's, uh, I'm trying to think
01:18:31.140
of that woman who sings that song, uh, the dog days are over.
01:18:43.240
Yeah, you were, like, the Florence and the Machine of the Bottle Girl staff.
01:18:46.520
Does that make any sense, that reference, Zach?
01:18:49.920
Um, she was, like, kind of, like, almost, like, she had a little bit more of a hippie vibe.
01:18:55.700
Yeah, and I would always get the good tables, too.
01:19:00.600
Like, I would get all the Celtics players and all the, like, it was fun, but I hated it.
01:19:08.960
I hated it, so I quit, and then, um, then I went to school.
01:19:12.820
Um, yeah, that bottle girl, it's a, it's an interesting industry being caught up in that,
01:19:21.040
Yeah, it's, like, it's, like, real estate agents, because everyone was, like, everyone's
01:19:26.540
area was their, like, real estate, and they were real, they were, like, real protective
01:19:31.880
So, if you, like, stepped over to the wrong side of, like, the dance floor, a girl would
01:19:36.380
come over, and she'd, like, I got into a lot of tussles.
01:19:43.380
They're just, like, give me all your money, and then you've got to stay until six in the morning,
01:19:49.180
And are people doing a lot of drugs and stuff, you think?
01:19:52.020
I was pretty innocent at the time, so I didn't think so, but probably.
01:20:00.280
You get all drugged up, and you've got to count all your money and stuff and walk home.
01:20:03.560
Yeah, well, because I remember all the tables, they want you to take shots with them.
01:20:07.180
But I couldn't, so I was throwing them over my shoulder.
01:20:09.220
And I got caught one day, and then the guy was super mad at me.
01:20:12.600
He took all the tip money back, and then I quit.
01:20:48.960
It seemed like you did, but that's just, you know, that's who you are.
01:20:59.620
I watched that clip, and I'm like, oh, that was tough.
01:21:04.480
Um, okay, so then, and you have a new show, too, that you guys are promoting, I just saw,
01:21:32.580
Like, it's that crazy shit, but I didn't want to be on them anymore, so I just, I pitched
01:21:35.880
I'll do one, and I just, um, we put 10 influencers in a house, and we just made them, we made them
01:21:42.760
go crazy, and we made them turn on themselves, turn on each other, and the prize is $25,000.
01:21:50.160
So it's like, it's not one of those real ones, but.
01:21:54.320
And how long did they stay there for the weekend or something?
01:21:58.400
But we were filming from, like, 5 a.m. to, like, midnight.
01:22:02.440
The, the, um, the finale comes out, the 18th, so I don't know when this will be out, but.
01:22:12.720
Do you like, um, being, um, do you think, um, like, so what kind of stuff do you like doing?
01:22:21.580
I mean, obviously you like where you are, everything's going good, and maybe nothing needs to change.
01:22:27.260
Sometimes there's always this pressure, like, what are you going to do?
01:22:29.860
Maybe I was even thinking about asking you that, but what do you like to do?
01:22:33.900
Well, I just got into, um, I got into my first writer's room the other day, actually.
01:22:38.640
And it was so embarrassing, because they, they had me in, and Josh Richards, he's doing, like, a sketch comedy show.
01:22:45.180
So I'm trying to get into more writing, behind-the-scenes type of stuff, because I don't really like being on camera.
01:22:50.920
The two, first two hours were good, and then they started asking me about, like, dating and, like, first dates and, uh, like, random hookups.
01:23:06.320
I just started making sure, it wasn't awkward for them, because they thought I was telling the truth.
01:23:09.120
But for me, I was just lying through my teeth and making up all these stories.
01:23:17.120
Yeah, I guess if you, if you don't, if you just, yeah.
01:23:25.900
It was, uh, it was just for, like, his sketch comedy show.
01:23:29.140
They were, like, writing, they needed, they needed, like, research from women, because it's only men on the show.
01:23:38.120
So they brought me in to help, but I didn't have the answers type of thing.
01:23:42.380
Yeah, but I don't know what I want to do in the future.
01:23:45.620
Like you said, I feel like it's, I'm kind of just chilling.
01:23:50.900
And what about, do you ever think about nursing again sometime down the future, PA-ing?
01:23:58.900
Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, you could do a million other things, you know.
01:24:02.180
But, like, I have some friends that are comedians or entertainers, and then once they get a break,
01:24:06.980
like Joe Rogan says, one day he would like to go paint, you know.
01:24:10.780
He never got, I mean, everybody wants to damn paint, you know.
01:24:17.560
But we all, everybody got caught up doing the other classes, you know.
01:24:20.960
No, I'd want to do, I'd want to have, like, a sanctuary, an animal sanctuary.
01:24:30.700
Are you following gold diggers with animal sanctuaries?
01:24:37.240
Every gold, like, there's so many chicks out there, it's like, what do you want to do?
01:24:40.320
And they're like, I want to have some free-range dolphins in our yard.
01:24:45.460
Like, there's some bitches out there that are like, I want to help.
01:24:51.440
They don't, they've never treated them the way I have.
01:24:53.420
Bitch, if two raccoons fucking get near you and you're fucking Joe's Juice, they will beat the living shit out of you.
01:25:03.020
Though I want to have my own sanctuary, I don't want to have anyone else's sanctuary.
01:25:05.860
Okay, and what kind of animals are we talking over there?
01:25:15.960
Whenever I ever pass a cow and they're fucking having a tough time.
01:25:19.660
No, you save the cows that are going to be butchered.
01:25:26.500
You want me to have, like, you want me to have, like, exotics?
01:25:29.260
I want you to have an animal that needs some fucking help.
01:25:32.360
Like a sloth, maybe get them fucking, hook them up with a motor skill person or something, you know?
01:25:36.820
Or, like, rub a little bit of gasoline in it at first.
01:25:40.540
Something that's going to help them speed up a little.
01:25:42.780
But I think cows, all they do, they eat all day.
01:25:53.640
I don't think, yeah, you can't have a rescue with cows in it, dude.
01:26:12.140
Like, imagine you break into somebody's property and you steal a cow in the middle of the night.
01:26:21.040
You know, there's not that movie where that cow gets, like, that's not so, I think, I like
01:26:31.080
And I shouldn't be telling you it's a bad idea.
01:26:34.060
So, so what, so a sloth, I guess, or maybe like.
01:26:40.960
Well, I tell you what animal needs to be freed or whatever is zebras.
01:26:47.360
They got to fucking get those animals free, dog.
01:26:52.060
Imagine walking around where everybody thinks you're in jail, no matter where you are.
01:27:03.280
Like here you go, there's a zebra, she's rescuing it.
01:27:11.340
But I would have to do, I'd have to do like 10.
01:27:17.500
So you want, and is that the only animal you want or you think more animals?
01:27:24.120
So I guess, yeah, no, I'm at a loss for that one.
01:27:30.980
Well, horses, a lot of rich people are doing horses.
01:27:51.720
There's a guy, and there's a guy in Kentucky, and I want to have him on the podcast.
01:27:54.900
He owns like the horse with like the best semen in it or whatever.
01:27:57.500
And so he, there's three months out of the year where they book it like five times a
01:28:02.720
day, and there's just a line of cars, almost like to Field of Dreams or whatever.
01:28:07.320
Where they all come and park, yeah, to go and get pumped by this horse.
01:28:10.640
And there's like a, apparently there's a closed circuit TV where like, if you're like, it's
01:28:15.320
like $50,000 for something to have sex with this horse, so.
01:28:18.960
Oh, they, I thought they were just pumping it off and bringing it, so they have sex with
01:28:24.560
Yeah, it's not like Easy Serve or whatever, or whatever that thing is.
01:28:28.980
I thought they were pumping it off and then bringing the semen to wherever they needed
01:28:33.280
No, it's not like a, like a ice cream machine at a drive-thru.
01:28:36.960
That's how, that's how it's painted in my head.
01:28:41.300
It's $50,000 bucks, and they go in there and they pump, and they, and then they do it,
01:29:09.680
Like, if you even pet him, you get, he's just leaking seed.
01:29:13.780
So there will literally be just three a day, and he's just, all day, he's just sitting there.
01:29:20.980
So what's this guy, so what's the owner of the horse, he's living lavish?
01:29:24.600
Yeah, I think last year on the horse, they made like $40 million or something.
01:29:39.460
Now, he's been in the system for a while, but he was able to, I think, get some horses
01:29:42.720
that were other grandparents and stuff and get like a lineage.
01:29:47.680
I think that that whole business is really sneaky from what I hear.
01:29:55.100
They're like, oh, let's meet these two horses up like at a, you know, behind a, I don't
01:30:01.640
I don't know, not like a Ben and Jerry, but like someplace like a.
01:30:07.920
Does the guy, does the guy that owns a horse, he's always wearing a suit?
01:30:15.020
Like he's just letting it out to leak and then it runs behind the rest area.
01:30:37.360
I mean, some Bruins fan is fucking just walking by, just smoking a Doral, just looking in the
01:30:43.380
fence like, oh, look at these motherfucking sloths, huh?
01:30:55.300
They'd be like, oh, this sloth, this sloth, yeah, they would just like keep comparing the
01:31:01.920
sloth to like bad quarterbacks that they've had or bad pitchers that they've had in Boston.
01:31:17.520
You come back outside of your sloth and say, fuck, it's smoking.
01:31:25.820
Now, I think a unique Boston zoo would be really great.
01:31:39.580
We've got like two gorillas and then like hyenas.
01:31:51.420
Like, they don't even have a concession stand or anything.
01:31:57.940
So it's like a petting zoo, but they market it as this like big zoo.
01:32:04.760
They're just, there's a, there's a soundtrack that's playing the sounds of like, of like
01:32:11.920
It's more like, and then they just have like a big reptile section.
01:32:15.920
But it's just like, you just snakes, the garden snakes and shit.
01:32:18.980
And it's always closed because Donna got bit by some.
01:32:25.500
I got to go to the Wilbur there and perform there.
01:32:32.140
Well, I realized at your show, everyone at your shows, they look like you.
01:32:36.780
There was a lot of people I was like, that looks like you.
01:32:43.820
I sat in front of the only person in the whole entire place with a mohawk.
01:32:50.760
I had to keep like turning to try to see you guys up on stage.
01:32:55.720
I've never really seen one of those in real life.
01:32:59.480
And then the rest of the guys, they kind of looked like you.
01:33:23.960
You get out there with a, you start, if you start riding, if you meet a good horse man,
01:33:30.400
God, can you imagine all that money you could have?
01:33:44.340
Having money is kind of embarrassing, I feel like.
01:33:47.160
Do you think since you've started, like, doing well, you're, like, embarrassed?
01:33:56.320
And then I remember when I got a house, like, I got a house in Nashville a few years ago,
01:34:00.840
It's not even, like, an amazing, it's a nice house, right?
01:34:02.940
But it's nothing, like, very extravagant or, you know, it's a place you'd walk in, like,
01:34:11.320
But it's not a place you'd walk in, like, oh, this is, like, you know.
01:34:15.760
This is fucking, this is, like, that pony money that's at the fair, but, like, the world's
01:34:26.800
But, yeah, I remember being embarrassed to even show my own home.
01:34:32.760
Yeah, because there was something about, there's just something about, about it.
01:34:39.220
But it's the same icky I felt when I was a kid that I was embarrassed to show the apartment
01:34:44.300
Like, we had a toilet upstairs that was, like, falling, like, right off to the edge
01:34:48.200
Like, this, it was, like, this perfect brown circle on the ceiling, like, right near where
01:34:55.560
And so if we had people over, we would always, like, try to, like, lean, like, this way while
01:35:00.260
we talked to them so their eyes wouldn't, like, look over at this huge, like, fucking piss
01:35:06.020
brown circle that was coming in through the ceiling.
01:35:08.660
My bedroom, my first bedroom growing up, it was, it was a closet, but there was no window.
01:35:15.200
So my mom, she stapled curtains up on the wall to, like, make it, she put a flashlight
01:35:20.040
under to make it, like, the flashlight was stuck behind, like, my bed on the floor with
01:35:24.880
these white curtains that you could see through.
01:35:29.240
And I was, I could never, I would never have friends where I had no friends, because I
01:35:36.260
And the guys are, like, hey, I'm gonna sneak you out tonight.
01:35:38.540
You're, like, all right, I'll sneak out through the window.
01:35:48.800
There was a bathroom upstairs and a bathroom downstairs.
01:35:51.560
And the bathroom downstairs was right next to the dinner table.
01:35:53.860
So it was just, like, it was, just the whole place was just kind of a nightmare, you know?
01:36:10.200
They had a lot of stray animals in our area, so you'd always, if you went outside, you're
01:36:19.380
Like, you just felt, like, threatened constantly when you walked outside.
01:36:22.140
It was, like, you know, like, a couple of fucking cats that hadn't been fed would look
01:36:29.800
And you wouldn't want to, like, eat dinner and then walk out there because you'd think
01:36:38.260
There'd be, like, just a couple of loose brothers of frickin', like, tripped out white
01:36:45.720
There was always somebody cutting their hair in the fucking street.
01:36:51.560
Like, I lived in a neighborhood where everybody would just burn stuff in the ditch, right?
01:36:54.440
We lived right outside of, like, the town limit where you couldn't burn stuff in your
01:37:00.980
Like, people were like, well, at least we can burn shit in the ditch, you know?
01:37:05.940
But, like, four streets over, they couldn't, you know?
01:37:08.240
And, like, look at these city slickers, you know?
01:37:10.720
Fucking driving their trash over to the fucking...
01:37:17.480
So, I remember that that was kind of interesting.
01:37:20.160
We had a lot of people that couldn't read that would just break shit because they couldn't
01:37:29.060
Oh, they'd have, like, some veterinarian would always drive through our neighborhood
01:37:33.700
and, like, they would, since we're outside of the town limits as well, they would throw
01:37:37.980
a lot of, like, the animal carcasses and shit, like, out in our yard, like, the...
01:37:41.820
So, we'd always be out there, like, doing, like, paleontology, like, playing games and
01:37:46.820
Like, making, like, dinosaurs out of, like, the old animal parts and, like, burying them
01:37:51.360
and then telling somebody else, like, I think there's a dinosaur here.
01:37:53.140
And they would start digging and it would be, like, the shape of some weird animal you
01:37:57.660
It would be, like, a tail and then, like, one foot and then into another tail.
01:38:01.300
And you're, like, this animal doesn't make any sense.
01:38:13.900
So, like, you were, like, you were poor with stuff to do.
01:38:21.000
We would drive scooters and we would find cigarette butts off the ground and just, like,
01:38:24.740
smoke them because it was cool, but they were dirty and then we'd be sick for, like,
01:38:30.920
Like, I didn't have a park to go to or anything.
01:38:57.840
I was, like, basically an only child, I guess, with the older crazy ones that would pop in
01:39:02.460
And then we had my aunt and my uncle living in the basement.
01:39:12.300
And I was that aunt that lived in the basement.
01:39:14.120
And then she left, and she went to Florida, and she never came back.
01:39:22.760
So, then they were around, even though their mom had kidnapped you?
01:39:27.780
My mom adopted the two daughters, and then the mom had kidnapped me, but they found me
01:39:35.600
She said she was just going to take me for a walk.
01:39:43.440
For Halloween, we would drive down to the suburbs and go visit my aunt.
01:39:56.440
I started taking hand-me-downs from my older cousin, Molly.
01:39:58.560
But then when my dad got his big mechanic job, we moved down to the suburbs.
01:40:04.720
So, I just like pretended I was fitting in and stuff.
01:40:23.940
Because he wasn't a truck driver anymore, like on and off.
01:40:30.160
He would go, he would be gone for, I went on a couple of them with him, which was crazy.
01:40:44.780
I was sleeping on a full bed and we would stop at the, we'd stop at the fairgrounds in New
01:40:54.420
What, do you remember any of the rides at the fairgrounds?
01:40:57.160
Like just the different rides that had like the zipper and the Gravitron, all of that?
01:41:07.600
That was the one and the guy in the center was like playing rock and roll.
01:41:10.140
And there'd be that one crazy guy that would like start shimmying and do a flip stuck
01:41:29.300
It's just kind of like a flat amount sort of thing.
01:41:33.040
Um, uh, yeah, it's like, it's like Caleb's like a salary.
01:41:38.180
Um, yeah, but I think they do a good job of like, but you enjoy it though, right?
01:41:45.160
So I don't even like, it's probably the stupid in me, but I have fun.
01:41:48.300
I like Barstool and I, with all these influencers, they do, they make their money off like brand
01:41:53.260
So they don't know when they're getting their next checks and stuff.
01:41:59.340
Also, it's not, sometimes what's like dealing with brand stuff.
01:42:02.540
There's so many little things you have to, it's like so many extra responsibilities that
01:42:05.760
if you don't have to think about that, it's really nice.
01:42:11.500
I don't have to censor anything, which is cool.
01:42:20.540
I don't know why everybody, I mean, I don't know a ton about it.
01:42:22.880
I mean, I learned some about it from Dave, how he like went through the business and put
01:42:25.940
it together and like some of the choices that they made, but it seems like a, a good time.
01:42:32.300
People think it's very like misogynistic, but it's like run by women now.
01:42:40.760
Well, no, but like the, the top performers at Barstool are, are all women.
01:42:52.520
I didn't even know about it until, um, I went to the, I went to the ACMs last week and I
01:43:00.120
And they were like, cause you're the top creator at Barstool.
01:43:01.980
And I was like, damn, they didn't even tell me that.
01:43:04.100
But, but it's not just me and the chicks in the office.
01:43:07.580
Some people think it's all run by men, but it's not.
01:43:17.840
Um, and her husband, I know her and her husband.
01:43:28.220
I mean, they're still friends, but it's like, uh, so it's kind of that, that, that was
01:43:38.940
Do you have a favorite sports team that you like?
01:43:47.640
Are you going to go to, do you think you'll get to go to any of the games?
01:43:58.500
Like if you ask Dave, he might take you to one.
01:44:15.680
I think you should ask him because you're from there.
01:44:43.360
I feel like I'll have a little bit more understanding of who you are and where you're from and a little
01:44:51.900
So it's not just like when I see you, it's like I see you, but I'll still kind of have a maybe
01:44:56.040
a slight somewhat, not understanding, but a little bit more clues.
01:45:19.140
I'm not going to say his name because he's still alive, but he would say something and
01:45:30.340
And we thought he was twins that had never separated, right?
01:45:32.660
So people were like, you fucking, get your fucking brother out of you.
01:45:36.780
People would fucking threaten to beat his brother or sister out of him.
01:45:43.700
Yeah, he'd get over it, but it was crazy because then when people were like, we're going
01:45:45.820
to beat the fuck you out of it, he'd be like, help me.
01:45:52.820
And then it sounds like that they're fucking with him.
01:45:55.460
Like he's like being an asshole, but it's just a problem he has.
01:46:28.960
They should put her in that cage at the fair then.
01:46:32.080
Come see the smallest knee replacement victim or whatever.
01:46:37.780
Come see the most beautiful little knee replacement woman in the world.
01:46:52.440
What are some characteristics you guys that have that are similar?
01:46:57.120
I didn't really, so she, I was with my dad growing up and she was like, her, her, like,
01:47:02.800
she shows me affection through getting me things or like making sure I'm good.
01:47:06.040
But we're not, like, I couldn't just call her and talk to her type of mom.
01:47:09.860
But I know she loves me type of thing, but I can't just be like, I don't call her and tell
01:47:35.720
And, uh, appreciate your time and congrats on, um, your success and, um, yeah.
01:47:44.080
And trying new things, trying to make a new show and, um, and being in like a place that's
01:47:49.540
kind of like a man's place, I guess, but it's more women's over there too.
01:47:55.460
Thanks for, uh, sharing your entertainment with us.
01:48:00.040
I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:48:12.280
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.