This Past Weekend with Theo Von

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00:00:30.000 I have some new tour dates to announce.

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00:01:19.820 Today, we are here at the Mothership, the Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas.

00:01:25.940 And I'm sitting here, or about to be sitting here, with one of the most iconic comedians.

00:01:34.940 She is a voice.

00:01:38.680 She is a damn, she is a forest fire with ovaries on her.

00:01:44.080 She's one of a kind.

00:01:45.200 Her ability to entertain over the years is unmatched.

00:01:50.860 I'm grateful to get to spend time with her today, here at Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership,

00:01:57.380 live from Austin, Texas.

00:01:59.780 Today's guest is Roseanne Barr.

00:02:02.540 Shine that light on me

00:02:06.540 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:02:12.240 Shine on me

00:02:17.200 And I will find a song

00:02:21.460 I'll be singing

00:02:22.640 I'll be singing

00:02:23.220 The shape looked cool, though.

00:02:32.080 Okay, I'll keep them on.

00:02:33.700 These are the ones Dice wears, too.

00:02:35.920 Really?

00:02:36.300 We both found that out when we saw each other last couple weeks here.

00:02:40.660 But he keeps his for when he goes on stage.

00:02:44.360 He don't even wear them around in real life like I do.

00:02:47.180 Yeah, I like them.

00:02:48.060 His is for when he steps on stage.

00:02:50.560 The Tom Fords.

00:02:52.360 Are they really?

00:02:53.040 Yeah.

00:02:53.740 It's like, I gotta wear the Tom Fords on stage.

00:02:56.300 I just wear them around because they're so fucking cool.

00:02:59.800 Dude, they look hip, huh?

00:03:00.880 Ain't they cool?

00:03:01.900 Yeah, they make you feel almost like an...

00:03:04.300 ASAP Rocky?

00:03:06.300 Yeah.

00:03:06.580 But I've had these for five years, so they're out of time.

00:03:11.500 But they're timeless, you know?

00:03:13.100 I think they seem kind of timeless.

00:03:14.800 They look kind of like...

00:03:16.780 Like Wacky Onassis, kind of.

00:03:20.500 Ha ha!

00:03:21.980 Oh my fucking Lord.

00:03:23.400 Oh, God.

00:03:24.100 That's right.

00:03:24.680 I thought you forgot your smokes, huh?

00:03:26.060 Wacky Onassis, I did.

00:03:27.200 Yeah, just a little bit of your own style.

00:03:29.860 But still...

00:03:30.760 I love Wacky Onassis.

00:03:32.420 Thank you.

00:03:32.580 A level of class, you know?

00:03:35.080 Wacky Onassis is genius.

00:03:37.660 I think it was easy, but thanks.

00:03:40.120 That's sweet of you.

00:03:40.740 It's so me.

00:03:42.400 It is, kind of.

00:03:44.420 Kind of.

00:03:45.040 Because I could also see you ride in a car with some guy who gets his head blown off.

00:03:49.740 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:50.380 Ha ha!

00:03:51.260 Ha ha ha!

00:03:53.340 Ha ha!

00:03:54.000 And there's no way he would...

00:03:55.720 If the last thought was, she had something to do with this, I'm sure.

00:03:59.440 Ha ha!

00:04:00.200 Oh, God.

00:04:01.040 That's so funny.

00:04:02.280 God, you're so funny.

00:04:04.080 Thanks for coming here.

00:04:07.040 Are we filming or what?

00:04:07.840 Yeah.

00:04:08.360 I got my sippy cup to match my shoes.

00:04:10.500 I've always told you that.

00:04:12.000 Yeah, that's nice, though.

00:04:12.780 You have a...

00:04:13.380 What kind of...

00:04:14.540 Where are you pulling this fit from?

00:04:15.800 Where are you pulling this style from?

00:04:17.800 Well...

00:04:18.320 Do you have, like, an inspiration?

00:04:20.660 I do.

00:04:22.000 This is a friend of mine that makes these clothes.

00:04:24.440 I'm a big fan of her.

00:04:25.700 She's from Fredericksburg, Texas.

00:04:28.580 She just opened up in Malibu, too.

00:04:30.620 Called Magnolia Pearl.

00:04:32.780 Everybody cool knows about her.

00:04:35.320 And she does, like, real good fabric from, you know, all over the world.

00:04:40.460 Linens, stuff from France.

00:04:42.040 Good French linen and shit like that, if you care.

00:04:44.880 Yeah.

00:04:45.280 And she embroidered her stuff and put some wacky stuff together.

00:04:49.420 And I just love my outfits.

00:04:52.240 I'm at that age.

00:04:53.540 I call it my turban years.

00:04:55.840 You know, where it's like about...

00:04:57.560 You know, you want to dress up to have your friends over for a luncheon.

00:05:01.680 You know, that kind of stuff you didn't have time for when you was young and trying to hustle for the bucks, you know.

00:05:07.720 You're kind of developing your old lady style, you know.

00:05:12.700 And you change your clothes.

00:05:14.640 I do five, six times a day.

00:05:16.860 Costume changes.

00:05:18.760 And it's just fun.

00:05:20.040 It's like being 12 again.

00:05:21.580 When I was 12 up in my room and I was doing Janis Joplin, singing over them records, you know.

00:05:27.180 And I had a dress of like her or what have you.

00:05:29.800 It's all pretend and fun.

00:05:31.480 Yeah.

00:05:32.660 Yeah, I guess there is a nice thing about whenever you get to a good age, as we get a little bit older, we get to you kind of like the pressures of society and stuff.

00:05:43.000 It all kind of goes away a little bit.

00:05:44.660 It's like you realize maybe there wasn't a ton of value in it or just the years of being like that racehorse.

00:05:51.460 You kind of like now you get to kind of hang out in the pasture a little more, kind of eat some grass, enjoy yourself.

00:05:56.580 Or like, what do you mean?

00:05:57.460 Well, I think you get to be a little bit more introspective and creative in your thinking, you know.

00:06:06.660 You get to try on an idea.

00:06:09.160 You don't have to buy it.

00:06:10.960 You can just fuck with it and go with it, you know.

00:06:13.420 Yeah.

00:06:13.920 You know, comics are like that anyways.

00:06:16.360 But you just got a little more time to be valuable with like weighing thoughts and, you know, trying to come up with something funny.

00:06:24.180 You're just being more creative, more faith in your own creativity, too, the older you get.

00:06:31.400 And you're not so harassed and running ragged trying to get there.

00:06:35.480 You're just enjoying doing it.

00:06:37.600 Yeah.

00:06:38.080 You know what I mean?

00:06:38.980 Yeah, I do, actually.

00:06:39.860 Yeah, it's like recently I've been feeling sometimes like I'm so busy.

00:06:43.160 I don't have as much.

00:06:45.140 My brain doesn't have as much space to be as creative as I would like to sometimes.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:06:49.280 How old are you now?

00:06:49.980 And it almost kind of bums me out.

00:06:51.100 I'm 43.

00:06:51.900 Uh-huh.

00:06:53.000 So it just feels sometimes.

00:06:54.680 It doesn't bum me out, but it's like I really have to make a strong effort to find more space, you know, to not be just affected or influenced by things.

00:07:02.440 Just so I can like, you know, just so I can daydream kind of.

00:07:08.000 Yeah, so you can go in there and have fun.

00:07:09.860 Yeah.

00:07:10.440 And play around, right?

00:07:11.740 Yeah.

00:07:11.980 It's kind of like being 12, ain't it?

00:07:13.680 Yeah.

00:07:13.900 Or even younger.

00:07:15.040 Oh, I think.

00:07:15.940 Sorry.

00:07:16.480 No, you're good.

00:07:17.480 Thank you.

00:07:18.080 I'm going to sit in my day.

00:07:18.720 Yeah.

00:07:19.980 You look awesome, by the way.

00:07:21.320 Thank you very much.

00:07:22.160 Yeah, you look very pretty.

00:07:23.340 Thank you.

00:07:23.880 You're very nice.

00:07:26.580 Yeah, I think it's interesting as you get older, like what kind of things you start to think about what are important, especially after you get out a little bit of the rat race, you know?

00:07:35.300 Yeah, because you find out the rat race is a real thing and the rats with the sharpest teeth win.

00:07:41.160 And so who wants to be part of that when you don't have to, you know?

00:07:46.280 I mean, for a long time you have to, if you're going to go, but after you went, you're kind of like, hey, I'm going to take a break on that shit.

00:07:57.020 I'm going to kind of try to get rid of a few of them rats.

00:07:59.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:00.560 Have some time where I can walk around barefoot and not have my toes chewed on.

00:08:05.500 Yeah, I know.

00:08:06.180 It's fucking evil, huh?

00:08:07.240 It is, but it's what propels you to, it kind of keeps you going because you're like, oh, yeah, you're going to block me here.

00:08:13.960 I'm going to go around here.

00:08:14.940 Like you're kind of like a mental football player or boxer, you know?

00:08:19.020 Yeah.

00:08:19.520 Which is why I love boxing, why I like watching Tyson, why I like to watch and Mike all the mirrors.

00:08:25.320 But, you know, because it's like instinct and reflex all together and then having this real clear channel of like, I got to get over you and around you and how am I going to do it?

00:08:38.080 Well, I'm prepared because I already did it 1,500 times just trying to stay alive while you was trying to suck my blood.

00:08:44.700 Yeah.

00:08:45.620 And it all comes together.

00:08:47.020 And then wherever you're focusing in, you just keep kind of developing ways to get better at it.

00:08:55.680 It's interesting how much business acumen you have to pick up along the way.

00:08:59.440 Yeah.

00:08:59.580 And especially as comedians, you're already kind of, I think a lot of comedians are untrusting of the world.

00:09:05.060 And they should be.

00:09:06.120 Yeah.

00:09:06.420 Right?

00:09:06.940 Oh, yeah.

00:09:07.800 Don't we all start out real trusting?

00:09:09.760 Oh, yeah.

00:09:10.440 You start out so trusting, like, oh, humor will bring us together and I have a gift and I can make people laugh.

00:09:17.800 And look at me, daddy.

00:09:19.700 I'm up here on stage.

00:09:21.520 Da-da-da-da-da-da.

00:09:23.000 You know, all that.

00:09:23.740 You think, I'm going to finally get all the love I never got when you was beating my ass and these people like me.

00:09:30.440 They're like, of course I'll sign it.

00:09:33.280 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:34.660 You're giving me $2 and I'm making, what, $10,000 an hour for you?

00:09:39.140 Like, I'm happy to do it.

00:09:40.900 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:41.760 You know?

00:09:42.740 It's crazy.

00:09:43.020 And you are.

00:09:43.980 Yeah.

00:09:45.200 You're like, I'm fucking writing jokes at the ass.

00:09:47.700 You know, I just get up in the morning and I've written 15 jokes by the time I get downstairs.

00:09:52.400 Wow.

00:09:52.900 It's so fun.

00:09:53.920 Yeah.

00:09:54.520 You're so in the zone of where you want to be.

00:09:57.080 But you don't know nothing about, you know, like I like hearing rappers talk about.

00:10:03.980 Business side of stuff?

00:10:05.000 Yeah, when they realized.

00:10:07.060 Yeah.

00:10:07.380 Well, Kanye was like that kind of, you know?

00:10:10.860 I mean, some stuff Kanye said, he was like, you know, I think he was trying to come from a place where he was angry, I don't know, at the system at Hollywood.

00:10:18.700 You know, I don't know.

00:10:19.560 It's like, I mean, I think he also was suffering probably from some mental issues, you know, like.

00:10:25.120 You think?

00:10:25.920 Yeah.

00:10:26.280 You think marrying Kim Kardashian was any kind of symptom of that?

00:10:32.440 And he toured for a while with like a Sunday service.

00:10:35.340 So there's kind of a, like, I'm a God type of, you know, that's an interesting thing to do.

00:10:40.460 Well, it's that messianic force that all of us have, you know, that are trying to say something like rappers and comics and songwriters, singers, we're all on that.

00:10:49.560 We're in that messianic force where, you know, we're compelled to say something that makes somebody hear us and makes it better.

00:10:57.300 I mean, we imagine it makes it better or it just makes us feel better or whatever.

00:11:02.080 We're adding something good to the collective pot of gold at the end of the dream rainbow, you know.

00:11:08.520 And so he has that messianic thing.

00:11:11.160 But then when you actually get into it, plus having bipolar and all the other shit, and I got all that and more.

00:11:20.460 Oh, yeah.

00:11:20.980 So I love Kanye.

00:11:22.080 But, yeah, you can go wrong if your meds fuck up on you.

00:11:26.880 Oh, dude, you get one extra milligram, son.

00:11:29.500 Oh, fuck, yeah.

00:11:30.140 Oh, yeah.

00:11:31.040 Oh, Christ.

00:11:32.320 God knows I've done that.

00:11:34.220 And bad med mixing.

00:11:36.000 Oh.

00:11:37.180 You'd think they'd send a big chart home with you.

00:11:39.900 First of all, the information on the pill bottles, it's like a lot could go wrong here.

00:11:45.320 And it's an eight font.

00:11:47.080 Yeah, I can't even see it.

00:11:48.640 Even with my amplified glasses, I can't even see it.

00:11:51.960 I have to have somebody read it for me.

00:11:53.820 I'm like, yeah, I got that.

00:11:55.160 That didn't hurt me.

00:11:56.880 Yeah, I do that.

00:11:57.900 That didn't hurt me that much.

00:11:59.600 It's not like I'm going to go off the meds and then, good God, look out world.

00:12:04.780 You know what I mean?

00:12:06.740 My kids would commit me in a heartbeat.

00:12:09.480 Have they ever tried to commit you before?

00:12:11.160 Not yet, but all my husbands did.

00:12:13.260 Mm-hmm.

00:12:13.780 That's why they were all gone.

00:12:15.360 Yeah, they deserved it probably.

00:12:17.580 You know, I do think it is.

00:12:18.480 Well, they wanted to get, you know, they wanted to fuck with the bull.

00:12:21.980 Yeah.

00:12:22.580 Even though I'm a girl, I'm kind of a bull, I guess you could say.

00:12:28.120 I could see you're probably the kind of woman, it's like, you're a, you know, you, you bring

00:12:36.140 a lot of you.

00:12:37.520 I do bring a lot of me.

00:12:39.140 And a lot of me is like, like an out of control three-year-old.

00:12:45.040 You know what I mean?

00:12:45.960 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:12:46.840 A lot of my life I've felt like that.

00:12:48.520 Like, I'm a child every day, like, and I have to take care of myself like a child.

00:12:52.840 I have to do all these little things for myself to make sure that I'm okay, you know?

00:12:56.360 Oh, I know what you mean.

00:12:57.480 I have to, I have to write a list to remember what to do because my shit is so haphazard

00:13:04.600 and out there crazy.

00:13:06.300 If I don't stick to this everyday list, which includes wash your face, brush your teeth,

00:13:12.020 like, you know, prep up yourself for, so people can stand to be around you.

00:13:18.080 You know what I mean?

00:13:18.800 Change your underwear.

00:13:20.380 Oh, yeah.

00:13:20.660 If I don't do those basic things and I'm not, it's not my instinct to do them.

00:13:27.080 My instinct is to hop out of bed, start smoking and drinking and, you know.

00:13:32.280 And throw a fucking javelin at a neighbor, kind of, you know?

00:13:36.280 No, I don't want to hurt nobody.

00:13:37.800 Well, I don't want to hit them, but I want to fucking let them know I'm still living next

00:13:40.620 door.

00:13:42.020 You know, like, we used to have this contest.

00:13:43.920 We live in this apartment complex and, yeah, I can relate to the same thing.

00:13:47.800 My mother, I remember, my mother, the night before, I remember being, like, seven years

00:13:53.240 of my mom would be like, do you want me to wake you up for school tomorrow?

00:13:56.960 And I'm like, how in the fuck else would I even get up?

00:14:00.740 Right.

00:14:02.180 Like, she, like.

00:14:03.300 She asked you?

00:14:03.640 Yeah, she would just put that kind of, like, immediately the world was just, you are, you

00:14:08.720 better figure it out, you know?

00:14:11.780 But sometimes she'd be like, do you want me to wake you up for school tomorrow?

00:14:13.980 And I'd be like, yeah.

00:14:15.760 Otherwise, I'm not, you know what I'm saying?

00:14:17.360 Like, there's no.

00:14:18.020 Yeah.

00:14:18.080 But it wasn't like, all right, guys, I'll get you guys all up.

00:14:20.300 You'll be ready to go.

00:14:21.320 She would, like, ask you, you know?

00:14:22.940 So, it was weird because you had this, you made this adult decision, do I want my mom

00:14:28.720 to wake me up for school?

00:14:30.180 But I just felt like it was such a strange thing for her to ask.

00:14:34.600 Like.

00:14:35.900 Yeah, because.

00:14:37.200 Yeah.

00:14:37.460 But you know that there was no way for you to say, no, I'll just sleep in.

00:14:42.280 Right.

00:14:42.640 That wasn't even an option.

00:14:43.700 Right.

00:14:43.980 So, it was just a strange, it was like something you'd ask a roommate kind of, but there was

00:14:47.900 always that adult thing from my, like, I remember I told her, you know, that somebody said there's

00:14:53.920 like pedophiles in the area or whatever.

00:14:56.100 And she goes, well, do you feel like you want to spend time with them?

00:15:03.520 And so, I would have to, like, you know.

00:15:07.320 Did she actually say that?

00:15:08.840 She'd say that, man.

00:15:10.380 She'd be like, do you, you know, she kind of put it on you in a way.

00:15:13.820 Like, do you, what choice do you want to make here, you know?

00:15:16.840 I always felt like that was like, I think growing up, it was like, what choice do you want to make here, you know?

00:15:23.940 Well, that was a real.

00:15:25.060 You want to make choices early.

00:15:26.360 So, then in the end, part of me, I'm coming back to what you're saying, is like, I felt

00:15:30.360 so much responsibility all the time at a young age.

00:15:33.440 I felt like everything is my responsibility.

00:15:37.100 So, then sometimes I think as I've gotten older, I'm just tired of doing all these things

00:15:41.540 that should have probably been helped with me at a younger age.

00:15:45.760 Sometimes I feel like some of those things weren't my responsibility or they didn't get

00:15:49.880 built into me correctly.

00:15:50.980 I understand what you're saying.

00:15:52.060 I'm taking care of myself, taking care of myself, making sure, you know, my teeth are brushed.

00:15:57.040 I mean, I do all those things now, but it's like, I have to have a real checklist of, okay,

00:16:00.640 this is what you do to make sure you're not a baby today, kind of.

00:16:04.020 I get it.

00:16:04.620 But, yeah, she should have just go, I'll wake you up in the morning, right?

00:16:10.140 Yeah, she added a lot of layers to the shit.

00:16:12.640 Yeah, she put a lot of layers on, man.

00:16:14.800 So, but it was a different time.

00:16:16.340 She probably thought she was empowering you because, you know, they were telling parents

00:16:21.080 to do that, that that was a good way to raise your kids is to have them make choices

00:16:26.240 over inconsequential horseshit.

00:16:28.640 But I guess that's what she probably was part of that whole thing.

00:16:33.260 Yeah, I don't know what she thought.

00:16:34.300 I think she grew up, she was Midwestern and I think she, just a hard worker, you know,

00:16:39.460 you go, you get things done.

00:16:41.300 I think there wasn't a lot of feelings back then maybe between families as much as now

00:16:45.880 people are, you know, now we have a lot more time and everybody's like, we're all more in

00:16:49.620 our feelings and stuff.

00:16:51.020 And so society's kind of changed like that, but I don't know what it was like when she

00:16:56.980 was a child.

00:16:58.780 Well, how old is she right now?

00:17:00.380 She's 77.

00:17:02.360 Oh, she's older than me.

00:17:03.580 That's rare.

00:17:05.320 Somebody's older than me.

00:17:06.560 Good God.

00:17:07.740 So she's just ahead of me.

00:17:09.980 Yeah, she's an adult.

00:17:12.260 Jesus.

00:17:13.080 So, oh, she didn't, she got the, let me think about that.

00:17:17.580 I wonder what it was like then growing up.

00:17:19.220 It's, well, I remember back then people would have like nine kids cause some of them didn't

00:17:22.600 live.

00:17:23.640 Right.

00:17:24.540 That's like, I mean, that's like animals do that.

00:17:26.740 Yeah.

00:17:27.000 So I think things were a little bit more animalistic back then probably.

00:17:30.120 Well, I think they were probably just purely utilitarian.

00:17:33.940 Yeah.

00:17:34.220 You know, not so much, Laura, you really got a lot of choices.

00:17:39.120 You just had to do what you had to do.

00:17:41.400 Yeah.

00:17:41.780 And maybe care was like a secondary thing.

00:17:43.940 It was almost like a blessing if you had enough, you know, or like a, I don't know.

00:17:48.840 I mean, everybody would care about their children and stuff, but I wonder how much that's changed

00:17:53.080 over the years.

00:17:53.800 Like how we look at that.

00:17:55.260 Well, now it's gotten so insular that the kids are just all fucked up.

00:17:59.700 They need more of what your mom did probably.

00:18:02.540 Yeah.

00:18:02.860 It went way too far the other way.

00:18:04.960 Oh, it's gotten really, really, it's gotten pretty out there.

00:18:07.720 Did, um, whenever you kind of got, were you kind of shocked by like whenever you got

00:18:12.480 like canceled by Hollywood or whatever the term is, right?

00:18:15.020 Many times.

00:18:15.680 But whenever they like, they didn't even take into account like all that you had done

00:18:21.020 for like women in comedy or any, I mean, that's really weird.

00:18:27.080 Or gays.

00:18:27.900 Yeah.

00:18:28.300 They were the ones right there kicking me.

00:18:30.500 Oh yeah.

00:18:30.900 Your, uh, Roseanne had gay characters on it.

00:18:32.920 Remember?

00:18:32.960 Yeah.

00:18:33.160 The first show that I had the first, uh, you know, gay characters and the first gay kiss

00:18:39.880 and all that.

00:18:40.820 Man.

00:18:41.020 Oh yeah.

00:18:41.400 I remember yelling at my mom, Hey mom, gays are okay.

00:18:44.100 You know?

00:18:44.520 Really?

00:18:45.100 Yeah.

00:18:46.380 Oh, I can't find my lighter now.

00:18:48.160 I must have that under my butt.

00:18:50.900 Yeah.

00:18:51.220 They didn't take any of that into account at all, but I, maybe they did take it into account

00:18:56.820 and that's where they got rid of me.

00:18:58.740 Cause you know, I did break rules and they always hated me for it.

00:19:02.920 Whether they agreed with them or not, they still hate a rule breaker or somebody who thinks

00:19:09.360 and, you know, after, uh, working there for nine years in a big cement building with no

00:19:17.080 windows, that's how I spent all my time there.

00:19:20.740 Really?

00:19:21.280 On Roseanne?

00:19:21.920 Yeah.

00:19:22.940 Big soundstage, you know?

00:19:24.800 Yeah.

00:19:25.160 And, uh, so seeing the ins and outs of weekly stuff for nine years, um, you just learn stuff.

00:19:34.180 They don't, they just want stuff to go smoothly.

00:19:36.680 They don't want bolt rockers.

00:19:38.160 They don't want nobody that says no.

00:19:41.580 Even if you're the author, they don't know what's funny.

00:19:45.000 That's number one.

00:19:46.180 Yeah.

00:19:46.480 And if, if something makes them laugh out loud, they think that that's bad.

00:19:51.700 Huh.

00:19:52.560 They like to go like this.

00:19:54.800 They, they think, oh, well, but it's their arrogance.

00:19:58.280 Cause they're like, well, the people at home are such bigots and idiots.

00:20:01.860 They're not going to get that.

00:20:03.760 They're like the super conscience, the super conscious or whatever you say it, super conscience

00:20:11.060 of people they really look down on that they imagine they know how they think.

00:20:16.600 Yeah.

00:20:17.140 Well, it's, it's, you know, I'm hoping that someone creates an app, right?

00:20:21.120 Mm-hmm.

00:20:21.840 Where you can look at a business and decide, and you'll know who the business, like their

00:20:27.460 owners, who the, who they support, like where they put their political funds.

00:20:31.280 Right.

00:20:31.700 Yeah.

00:20:32.040 So then as a, as a buyer of something, uh, uh, what's it called?

00:20:38.080 Consumer.

00:20:38.680 Consumer.

00:20:39.560 Then you can say, okay, I'm going to put my money cause all they're only have money

00:20:44.420 to put places cause you're paying them money.

00:20:46.360 Right.

00:20:46.760 So it's like, if you could start adjust the other end of the spectrum where now you get

00:20:52.000 to put your money almost as if where they get to put their money onto like in different,

00:20:56.960 into different lobbying spaces or whatever.

00:20:59.880 Now you get to put your money into, you'll know by looking at an app.

00:21:05.100 Okay.

00:21:05.300 This business footlocker, they like this and this and this, I support that.

00:21:10.020 I'm going to support, I'm going to spend my money there or Joe's shoes.

00:21:13.640 They like this and this and this, I support that.

00:21:16.120 I'm going to put my money there that way.

00:21:18.120 Yeah.

00:21:18.140 You should be able to put that when you buy their product, say, I don't approve of this

00:21:22.120 thing.

00:21:22.420 You're a given money to, so don't use any amount of my money to go toward that.

00:21:27.160 Right.

00:21:27.860 Right.

00:21:28.380 Yep.

00:21:28.620 But I like this you're doing.

00:21:30.280 So, you know, whatever percentage of my money you're siphoning off.

00:21:34.220 Could go towards that.

00:21:35.420 Yeah.

00:21:35.620 Or you could put into the app in the beginning.

00:21:37.240 These are the things that I kind of believe in.

00:21:39.340 And like, these are kind of my core beliefs that I think are helpful in society that I

00:21:44.300 would like my money to reflect.

00:21:45.460 And then the app could show you, well, these are 40 businesses that.

00:21:50.220 That's a good idea.

00:21:50.920 That way we're going to, the, the, that way we have the, it's where we're putting our

00:21:58.080 money now.

00:21:58.540 Yeah.

00:21:58.880 You know, that way we're not paying for somebody to kill us.

00:22:02.240 Right.

00:22:02.920 Right.

00:22:03.220 We're not bearing the cost of our own destruction because that's how they're doing it.

00:22:08.240 Oh, it's crazy.

00:22:09.080 Ain't it crazy?

00:22:10.100 But do you think there are big forces at play that kind of run this whole thing?

00:22:14.180 Or do you think it's just business and that is just the byproduct of like, you know, of,

00:22:21.660 of power and, and greed?

00:22:24.040 That's what I wonder sometimes.

00:22:25.180 I think it's both.

00:22:26.800 That's how it is.

00:22:27.800 Cause we didn't change it yet, but the smarter we get and realize, Hey, that's just going

00:22:32.780 towards killing me.

00:22:34.600 I got to flip this switch.

00:22:36.360 And I, I think we'll get smart like that pretty soon to go, Hey, we shouldn't be poisoning

00:22:41.120 our farmlands.

00:22:42.200 What are we going to eat?

00:22:43.600 Yeah.

00:22:43.940 Duh, but they're that stupid.

00:22:45.960 Cause they're just so, um, fixated on the money and nothing else.

00:22:50.640 The short, they, they like the short term, the, the, uh, instant gratification thing,

00:22:55.760 but that's never good.

00:22:57.280 No.

00:22:58.280 So they're going to have to figure that out.

00:23:00.260 And I think they will.

00:23:01.380 I think that's coming with the coming crash.

00:23:04.100 I think Americans are going to figure that out.

00:23:06.560 It'd be interesting.

00:23:07.380 I think that's why I'm doing, you know, I'm doing my own podcast now.

00:23:11.280 Yeah.

00:23:11.820 Yeah.

00:23:12.100 And that's why I'm doing it to just go, how, how are we going to survive what's coming?

00:23:17.220 And how come all y'all don't know what's coming?

00:23:21.740 You can't see what's right in front of your face, but you, you know, all the queen of England's

00:23:26.500 business.

00:23:27.500 How come that is?

00:23:28.820 Oh yeah.

00:23:30.200 You put tits on something.

00:23:31.500 People, they want to know about it, you know, but I mean, and they'll sit around and they can name

00:23:37.440 everyone on these soap operas, the housewives of, and all their family business say, um,

00:23:43.340 what are the three branches of government?

00:23:45.280 Huh?

00:23:46.000 Yeah.

00:23:47.100 It's like they purposely farmed us.

00:23:49.720 They did farm us like human veal.

00:23:52.360 I always say we're like veal in high heels, you know, we're in these boxes getting fats for the

00:23:59.840 slaughter.

00:24:00.500 God, you know, we're that stupid.

00:24:03.040 Are you injured?

00:24:04.100 Is somebody injured?

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00:26:46.600 Well, it's interesting because comedians, you at least like have a brain from out of

00:26:51.420 the gate somehow that was formulated to kind of look at things and get, you know, like

00:26:55.760 I start to notice that as I get older, I thought we were all kind of the same when I was young

00:27:00.060 and then I start to realize, oh, some of my friends or people that, you know, I was around

00:27:04.660 when I was younger, they just have a, their mindset is more comfortable to send like without,

00:27:09.960 sometimes it's almost paranoia of looking at everything, you know?

00:27:13.300 Um, so it's kind of a blessing and a curse to have a mind where you're kind of be, where

00:27:18.240 you're able to see outside of things and maybe have an idea of a bigger picture because it

00:27:22.160 leads you sometimes to like things that are like, is this real?

00:27:24.860 Is this not real?

00:27:26.000 But at the same time, you're not just sitting there like, you know, you're not just standing

00:27:31.200 in line for the slaughter.

00:27:32.960 You're at least raising your hand.

00:27:34.200 It feels like to ask what's going on, but it does start to feel like that.

00:27:38.260 It starts to feel like, yeah, does anybody really care about it?

00:27:42.740 Like, I think when I was young, you know, we grew up with like a more tradition in America,

00:27:47.200 you know, with like the Pledge of Allegiance, simple stuff, you know, hand jobs.

00:27:52.000 I don't even think they do hand jobs anymore.

00:27:53.920 I think they do.

00:27:56.160 They might, you know, they might, but, but it was like that, you know, there was kind

00:28:00.900 of like.

00:28:02.040 Now they call it tug jobs.

00:28:04.000 Oh, they do?

00:28:04.640 Yeah.

00:28:05.620 I've seen that on the internet.

00:28:07.320 Oh, damn.

00:28:08.180 I don't say I'm aggressive.

00:28:09.120 Well, a lot of these women are also, they're coming in hot, you know, they're coming in

00:28:13.720 a little, you know.

00:28:15.100 Yeah.

00:28:15.400 The women are acting like the men did when I was in high school.

00:28:18.420 Well, that's a thing.

00:28:19.300 So yeah, they're tugging now.

00:28:20.580 It used to be a little more, you know, hand feels a little bit more comfortable.

00:28:25.500 I think.

00:28:26.180 Yeah.

00:28:26.440 Tug feels like, Hey, well, let's fucking get out.

00:28:28.220 You know?

00:28:28.740 Yeah.

00:28:29.120 Let's get it done and get out of here.

00:28:30.720 Yeah.

00:28:30.880 That's kind of how women are now.

00:28:32.440 And the men are kind of like the, they seem like the girls were in high school.

00:28:36.460 Like, well, I don't know what that means.

00:28:39.980 Yeah.

00:28:40.700 What the hell?

00:28:42.120 Shit turned around.

00:28:44.640 I'm so glad I'm past the sex urge.

00:28:47.580 I'll tell you what.

00:28:48.700 I said, you know, I know I look better now than I ever did.

00:28:51.740 If I looked this good when I was 20, I don't know.

00:28:54.580 I would have made something of myself.

00:28:56.280 But you know, thank God I don't have that.

00:29:01.860 I would honestly, I would, I think I would even take you out on a date, I think.

00:29:05.140 You would?

00:29:05.720 Yeah.

00:29:06.080 I think you're really pretty.

00:29:07.160 Oh, you're so nice.

00:29:08.620 I believe that too.

00:29:09.880 That is so nice.

00:29:11.080 You know how happy that makes an old woman.

00:29:13.600 If I was 40 years older, I'd snap you in half like a potato chip.

00:29:18.400 Yeah.

00:29:19.160 I bet.

00:29:21.620 Do you, yeah.

00:29:22.660 Are there any things that you miss about sex as you get older, do you think?

00:29:25.520 Well, I had an unfortunate experience that ended all my sex urges and all my sex thoughts.

00:29:33.720 Because, you know, when you're old, things happen to you as a woman.

00:29:38.280 If you're not going to take all the hormones, you know, and you're just going to try to age

00:29:42.600 gracefully with your vagina and all.

00:29:45.500 Well, the one thing that was, the one thing that was shocking is that I found out the only

00:29:51.760 thing thin on me is my vaginal walls.

00:29:54.220 Oh, yeah.

00:29:55.080 Yeah.

00:29:55.220 And that's what happens.

00:29:57.340 The older you get, they get more and more thin.

00:29:59.840 So, you know, and, you know, your husband, he's getting old too.

00:30:04.300 So, of course, he's got to go on the Viagra because, you know, this and that and the other.

00:30:08.940 Well, what ends up happening just isn't good.

00:30:11.600 And so there I was every time I, you know, we did it.

00:30:16.180 Well, I got a horrible, I, what are they called?

00:30:20.480 UTI.

00:30:20.980 UTI.

00:30:22.200 UTI.

00:30:22.560 UTI.

00:30:22.600 I think it's.

00:30:23.760 Uterine is something.

00:30:24.680 Uterinary tractors.

00:30:25.180 Uterinary tractors.

00:30:25.580 Yeah.

00:30:25.920 Uterinary tractors.

00:30:26.780 Oh, wow.

00:30:26.800 Dang.

00:30:27.060 And the last time I got it was the last time I had sex.

00:30:31.300 Well, they had to take me to the hospital.

00:30:33.160 I started peeing blood in Ralph's.

00:30:35.700 At Ralph's?

00:30:36.380 At Ralph's.

00:30:37.420 Oh, wow.

00:30:38.640 I've done some things.

00:30:39.380 I've never done that at Ralph's.

00:30:40.660 Yeah.

00:30:41.100 It was so scary.

00:30:42.100 They had to take me to the hospital and they had to give me three morphine shots for my whatever

00:30:49.100 it was to let loose in the bladder thing.

00:30:52.340 Oh, and they give it to you right in your vagina?

00:30:54.020 Oh, no.

00:30:55.020 No, they give it to me right in the butt.

00:30:56.740 Oh, no, not in the vagina.

00:30:58.120 Thank God because I would have jumped out the window and just killed myself.

00:31:01.640 Oh, if I see anybody put it down.

00:31:04.140 Yeah.

00:31:04.600 Mm-mm.

00:31:05.460 I would, God, I would hate that.

00:31:07.200 But then I was like, sorry, Charlie, to my boyfriend.

00:31:10.340 Sorry, Charlie, you're going to have to, whatever, you know, whatever you do, don't just whatever.

00:31:15.720 Keep it to yourself.

00:31:17.380 Yeah.

00:31:17.920 I'm done.

00:31:18.540 I'm over it.

00:31:19.960 I'm never going through that again.

00:31:21.800 God.

00:31:22.540 Mm-hmm.

00:31:23.000 People say, well, there's other ways to make love.

00:31:26.700 You know, you can get with your partner and blah, blah.

00:31:29.200 So, you know, we do.

00:31:30.180 We like to watch the ID channel on the mass murders.

00:31:33.900 Mm-hmm.

00:31:34.260 We lay there in bed together and watch the mass murders.

00:31:38.020 And that's just as, what do you call it, satisfying to me.

00:31:43.560 We try to solve the cases and this and that, the true crime.

00:31:48.300 That's exciting.

00:31:49.880 But, you know, I look back at people.

00:31:51.540 And I go, you're so proud of yourself for the having sex thing.

00:31:55.320 They're so damn proud of their self.

00:31:56.920 Like, every goat on earth don't do it.

00:31:59.080 It's so, yeah.

00:32:00.160 I mean, look, first of all, a good Dateline episode will make me come, to be honest.

00:32:05.240 The good ones, you know?

00:32:06.600 Yeah, the good ones.

00:32:07.280 The early ones I thought were better.

00:32:08.480 Some of the, I mean, they've kind of repackaged some of them.

00:32:10.820 But, yeah, I've got, I mean, I have, there's, you know, there's something about a good murder

00:32:15.680 that almost makes me go to sleep well.

00:32:17.640 I know.

00:32:18.140 Me, too.

00:32:18.600 I'll sleep right through it.

00:32:19.660 I keep it on all night.

00:32:21.180 Yeah.

00:32:21.540 As long as I wake up and know somebody's getting murdered in the distance, I'm kind of, it

00:32:25.840 kind of keeps me at ease.

00:32:26.420 The world is right.

00:32:28.440 And the way they get caught is what attracts me to it, because they're always so stupid,

00:32:34.740 and they think they're so smart.

00:32:37.260 Yeah.

00:32:37.840 You know, the criminal mind, it's really a stupid mind.

00:32:41.280 Well, a lot of times it's a man just trying to kill some lady.

00:32:44.420 A lot of times it is, because he, you know, he's been, you know, he's got his issues.

00:32:49.980 The ones I like is the wife that poisoned their husband with the glycolic nucleic acid,

00:32:56.420 which is antifreeze.

00:32:57.940 Yeah.

00:32:58.760 Those ones, they think they're not going to get caught, you know, because they go,

00:33:01.700 here's your Gatorade, honey.

00:33:03.180 And then they take care of him as he wastes away for two months.

00:33:06.980 And then they go to the hospital.

00:33:08.420 He's got no kidneys left.

00:33:09.700 And she's like, I don't know what's wrong with him.

00:33:12.760 Well, you know, then they trace it back and they always find the Gatorade and the antifreeze.

00:33:16.520 Right next to the antifreeze.

00:33:18.100 That's the worst.

00:33:19.240 They sit them right next to each other.

00:33:21.200 Yeah.

00:33:21.460 Well, one thing that happened with society was during the pandemic, everyone watched every date

00:33:26.580 lineup.

00:33:26.880 There was no, there's no more fresh murder.

00:33:29.420 That's right.

00:33:30.160 So that is one thing that, and that was sedating a lot of the masses.

00:33:34.700 Yeah.

00:33:35.060 People being able to see some murder, see some with their partner, especially I think with

00:33:38.840 a partner.

00:33:39.320 Because I think in a marriage, I've never been in one, but I think that you, there's

00:33:43.600 something, there's fucking 5% of you that wants to kill that motherfucker.

00:33:46.840 Oh yeah.

00:33:47.120 You know?

00:33:47.500 If you could get away with it, but you know you can't.

00:33:50.380 Right.

00:33:50.720 But at least seeing it happen for somebody else takes it away from you for the evening.

00:33:55.860 Yeah.

00:33:56.220 That kind of gets it out of your system.

00:33:57.460 It's almost like going to an AA meeting.

00:33:58.760 It's like, I feel a little better after watching that.

00:34:01.300 Yeah, you do.

00:34:02.820 It's way, you know, you have to say the antifreeze and the Gatorade thing.

00:34:06.400 And that's a lot smarter than how the women used to kill their husbands.

00:34:10.060 Because I always, you know, in like ethnic cultures and such, such as mine and where

00:34:19.320 I grew up in Salt Lake was a lot of people of color cultures and such.

00:34:24.200 Was there a lot of blacks or Filipinos or what was it?

00:34:26.940 Yeah, there was a lot of blacks where I grew up in Salt Lake City.

00:34:30.160 Yeah.

00:34:31.140 I lived in the inner city there.

00:34:33.260 And yeah, so you always hear the story about the ant or what she did to, you know, to deal

00:34:40.180 with an abusive husband back in the day, you know, before women had any other way of dealing

00:34:46.540 with it.

00:34:46.920 Well, you'd get your brothers and they'd just, you know, beat them to death.

00:34:51.140 And then they, you know, you know, you hide them.

00:34:54.380 Yeah.

00:34:54.860 Bury them.

00:34:55.480 So that's what people have done forever.

00:34:57.300 Or with a pedophile, as you say, like Pedialyte.

00:35:02.420 Well, yeah, both for children.

00:35:04.760 Yeah.

00:35:06.600 Well, they'd get them too, you know, it's like vigilante justice.

00:35:10.460 Oh, yeah.

00:35:11.000 I miss that kind of stuff.

00:35:12.340 I think we're going to probably have to go back to it because, you know, our, our, our

00:35:17.160 laws and justice system is just bullshit.

00:35:20.460 Right, ain't it?

00:35:21.440 Oh, I think it's gotten ridiculous.

00:35:22.760 I mean, even if you start with like, just the level of safety people feel, you know,

00:35:28.420 I think people don't feel safe.

00:35:29.720 I noticed if I go to Canada, the first thing I feel safe.

00:35:33.140 I felt that way in Canada too.

00:35:35.480 You're like, what is it?

00:35:36.660 What am I wearing?

00:35:38.020 Oh, safety.

00:35:39.300 Yeah.

00:35:39.600 It feels different up there.

00:35:41.040 Yeah.

00:35:41.160 And plus a doctor comes right to your hotel and don't charge you nothing.

00:35:44.540 Yeah.

00:35:45.260 It's crazy.

00:35:46.320 But then you have to have Justin Castro as your president.

00:35:49.600 Yeah.

00:35:49.780 You know, he's Castro's son.

00:35:51.600 Is he really?

00:35:52.220 Yeah.

00:35:53.440 That's what some say.

00:35:55.520 I wouldn't be surprised about that.

00:35:56.960 He looks just like him too.

00:35:58.400 Mm-hmm.

00:35:58.820 And he acts like him.

00:36:00.080 He's a little tyrant.

00:36:01.380 And he's too fucking handsome to be a president.

00:36:04.920 I don't trust people that's too handsome.

00:36:06.800 I don't either.

00:36:07.700 You know?

00:36:08.620 Yeah.

00:36:08.940 He is too handsome.

00:36:10.300 I never, when I see him, I'm like, all right, I'll listen to you for a little bit,

00:36:14.500 but I'm not listening to you for a long time.

00:36:16.820 Anybody that's got it that easy visually.

00:36:19.080 Yeah, I know what you mean.

00:36:20.420 You know?

00:36:20.760 I feel the same way.

00:36:21.880 Dude, I fuck.

00:36:22.360 It's like, you've had it easier your whole life.

00:36:24.100 You don't know nothing.

00:36:24.800 Yeah, you don't know anything.

00:36:26.120 Uh-uh.

00:36:26.500 You didn't have to fight for anything.

00:36:28.040 Yeah, you don't know what it's like to walk up to people and have them not even listen

00:36:30.720 to you because of how you look, you know?

00:36:32.560 Oh, God.

00:36:33.380 Is that why we're comics?

00:36:34.900 I think, oh, I think probably.

00:36:36.740 Probably, yeah.

00:36:37.840 Yeah, I think, but I think, yeah, we're in a place of real fear.

00:36:40.940 I mean, people are moving to a stage where you can carry a weapon.

00:36:44.920 Oh, I know.

00:36:45.460 That's why I came down here in Texas.

00:36:46.840 Yeah, and part of me, that's why I moved to Tennessee because you can carry a weapon

00:36:51.040 there.

00:36:51.500 So, at least if somebody's going to start some shit, they're going to risk somebody ending

00:36:55.320 some shit.

00:36:56.020 See, I think that's a better way to live.

00:36:57.940 Yeah.

00:36:58.120 It really is, you know, especially for women.

00:37:00.960 All women should be armed all the time with the shit we have to deal with.

00:37:04.320 Oh, yeah.

00:37:04.980 Not all the time looking over your shoulder and watching out for your kids.

00:37:09.360 That is a lot of stress where you could just, you know, I think we should have open carry

00:37:15.440 for women.

00:37:16.360 You just have them bandoliers like those Mexican guys used to have, like, bullets everywhere.

00:37:22.260 Yeah.

00:37:22.500 It's like, what did you say?

00:37:24.000 Yeah.

00:37:24.300 Would you just blow their fucking heads off, right?

00:37:29.440 Oh, I think a woman should be able to kill one man a month.

00:37:33.620 At least.

00:37:35.180 Yeah.

00:37:36.880 I don't know about killing, but threatening.

00:37:39.360 Once a year, though.

00:37:40.820 Yeah.

00:37:41.440 Everybody should be able to kill one person a year.

00:37:43.540 Well, I don't know about killing.

00:37:47.260 Well, how about this?

00:37:48.560 A guilty person, maybe.

00:37:50.340 Yeah.

00:37:50.700 If they're proven guilty in a court of their peers under just law, then you should be able

00:37:57.020 to kill them.

00:37:57.520 That's the problem is that law got kind of weird.

00:38:00.140 It got like, is this a, you know, it's like, because you go back and see all these cases

00:38:04.200 where it's like some guy got convicted and he didn't do it.

00:38:06.420 Right.

00:38:06.860 There was a lot of that.

00:38:07.800 Especially like when it came to like race, when it came to women, there's a new show

00:38:13.620 on right now about women that accuse guys of rape.

00:38:16.700 I know.

00:38:17.120 I want to see that.

00:38:18.440 And then they turned it on the women and put them, incarcerated the women for false accusations.

00:38:27.340 Right.

00:38:27.920 And some of them were real accusations.

00:38:31.160 It's just, I mean, some of them may have been false also, but.

00:38:34.800 Yeah, that's a really weird, a whole weird area where someone can accuse somebody and

00:38:41.020 it's a false accusation and that person has to go to prison and pay for that.

00:38:45.860 Yeah.

00:38:46.320 And they didn't do nothing.

00:38:47.560 But, you know, there's a shitload of that.

00:38:49.760 Yeah.

00:38:50.400 And then a shitload on the other side of, you know, real victims that are humiliated.

00:38:56.620 Yeah.

00:38:57.200 All they have to do is make sure nothing makes sense and we're all fine.

00:39:01.480 As long as nothing makes sense and it don't follow any rule or, and it has no application

00:39:07.440 of equal justice to it, then fine.

00:39:09.740 We're doing great.

00:39:12.040 It's too hard.

00:39:14.500 Have you been, what's something that's kind of surprised you as your life went on when

00:39:18.680 you look back at life so far when you're like, wow, I didn't think this was kind of

00:39:22.400 going to go this way or this kind of blew my mind.

00:39:25.920 Everything.

00:39:26.580 Really?

00:39:26.780 Yeah.

00:39:28.260 I was always real idealist.

00:39:30.660 So I thought, oh, everything would work out better than it did, you know?

00:39:37.180 So I was always like disappointed.

00:39:40.080 Even for society and everything.

00:39:41.840 Yeah.

00:39:42.180 Cause it's like, it wouldn't be that hard to make it go right, but yet it never does.

00:39:48.380 You know?

00:39:49.320 It's like, how come?

00:39:50.720 Um, it makes more sense and it's cheaper to do shit right, but then it never is done

00:39:57.520 right.

00:39:58.680 Yeah.

00:39:59.280 And people don't, and it's, it's, it's tough to decide sometimes for me if it's the, if

00:40:03.500 it's our leadership or if it's our people, if it's just people in general, you know?

00:40:08.960 I think it's people.

00:40:10.500 There's something wrong with people.

00:40:11.560 I think I'll tell you one thing that is disappointment is, you know, being a, an outspoken woman speaking

00:40:18.120 for a woman's, uh, rights and this and that and the other or equality.

00:40:23.720 That's a big disappointment to me.

00:40:25.680 I didn't think it was going to go like that when that's a huge disappointment and, you

00:40:30.500 know, being a child of the sixties or you wanted to see a, uh, you know, a, a, uh, fully

00:40:38.460 integrated America where everybody got along and this and that and the other, that's a

00:40:42.960 disappointment.

00:40:44.160 Yeah.

00:40:44.400 Yeah.

00:40:44.700 That didn't go right.

00:40:45.980 Yeah.

00:40:46.100 Because there was a lot of like, um, well with women, did it kind of, I feel like things

00:40:51.980 seem pretty equal maybe, but I'm not a woman.

00:40:54.500 Yeah.

00:40:54.780 You know, I mean, I think I grew up a lot of times like, you know, I have some anger.

00:41:01.420 I think that my mom had to work all the time.

00:41:04.180 You know, I remember like the one time I spent with my mother when it was just her and I,

00:41:10.820 um, she took me to work with her one day on her route.

00:41:14.880 She delivered, uh, newspapers and, and things and, and we got to go to Wendy's together.

00:41:20.420 I remember it.

00:41:21.240 And we went to Wendy's dude and she made me tuck in my shirt.

00:41:25.280 We went in there and I was all excited.

00:41:27.060 And, uh, and I got the cheeseburger and that foil had that nice foil on it.

00:41:31.280 You know, I think it's not copper, but it's nice.

00:41:33.360 And, uh, and the square burger and I, it was like the first time I'd ever spent any time

00:41:38.780 with my, like, it was, I just registered cause I was like, oh, I've never been alone with

00:41:42.160 my mother.

00:41:43.140 You know, we had three other kids my whole life.

00:41:44.960 I just had never had any alone time with her.

00:41:48.800 I remember she had like a rug on her floor.

00:41:52.260 It was like a cow rug and I would go smell it sometimes and pretend like it was my dad,

00:41:57.160 which is kind of crazy.

00:41:58.360 Cause it had like a tough smell, you know?

00:42:01.400 And, uh, where was your dad?

00:42:02.920 Was he not there?

00:42:03.740 Yeah, he was just older.

00:42:04.640 My dad was 70 when I was born.

00:42:05.740 He was an old man.

00:42:06.580 So, oh my God, he wasn't around, but so yeah, but I didn't have this like concept of like

00:42:11.120 a young dad, you know, like a protector or anything.

00:42:14.040 So I remember I'd like pretend like my dad was like a cowboy or that like he was like

00:42:18.080 in the wild west or shooting somebody, not an Indian, cause I don't think they deserved

00:42:23.200 it, but somebody else, you know?

00:42:26.140 But, um, anyway, I don't even know why I went off on that tangent.

00:42:30.000 I was, I'm trying to think.

00:42:30.660 Cause you're saying.

00:42:31.660 Oh, women.

00:42:32.340 Yeah.

00:42:32.740 So I think I was, you know, time with your mom.

00:42:35.580 Yeah.

00:42:36.020 Yeah.

00:42:36.360 You got a lighter.

00:42:37.000 I got it.

00:42:38.060 I'll hit a dart with you.

00:42:39.040 I'll hit a dart with you.

00:42:40.840 Might as well, huh?

00:42:42.560 Fuck yeah.

00:42:44.040 Fuck yeah.

00:42:44.440 That's why I love to come here.

00:42:45.540 Cause they let me smoke.

00:42:46.740 Oh yeah.

00:42:47.200 Rogan will let you do anything in here.

00:42:48.500 I know he will.

00:42:50.000 Well, I got too fucked up last time I went on stage here.

00:42:54.540 Did you?

00:42:55.080 Oh, wow.

00:42:56.160 Boy.

00:42:57.600 Give me that lighter.

00:42:58.280 I don't do a lot of this nicotine anymore.

00:42:59.820 Oh, I don't either.

00:43:00.880 I'm supposed to not smoke, but I can't help it.

00:43:04.100 Yeah.

00:43:04.860 I think.

00:43:06.000 Oh, dude.

00:43:06.780 It's the best thing in the world.

00:43:07.920 God, when I fucking was young, I would smoke, boy.

00:43:11.160 I remember I worked on this farm and after it would rain, we had this big guy and he'd

00:43:17.340 go take his shirt off and lay on the cement after it would rain.

00:43:21.080 To cool down?

00:43:22.460 I don't know what was wrong with him, but we'd go smoke and watch him lay there.

00:43:27.060 It was beautiful.

00:43:30.320 I mean, it was just, you know, it was a different time.

00:43:34.020 It was probably semi-erotic.

00:43:35.700 I bet if you were a man and you were into some real man stuff and you watch that video,

00:43:39.280 two younger guys watching a big fella lay there with his shirt off, I bet it's probably

00:43:43.640 erotic for them.

00:43:45.360 For who?

00:43:47.800 I mean, if they had the video, if Gabe had watched it or whatever, you know, I could see

00:43:51.740 that being some type of, like, ASMR for, like, gay men or, like, some type of, like, avant-garde

00:43:56.920 type of art or something.

00:43:58.040 I don't know.

00:43:58.940 There's a lot of new, like, farm boy art that's coming out in the gay culture where you see,

00:44:02.580 like, a lot of old pictures of, like, guys with no shirt but not, like, buff guys, just

00:44:09.180 guys doing farm work.

00:44:11.140 I've noticed it, like, a lot of my gay friends are, like, it's, like, a thing in that culture

00:44:16.860 right now.

00:44:17.780 Like, that kind of art.

00:44:18.840 The gay farm guy?

00:44:20.260 Yeah, like, gay farm art.

00:44:21.020 Yeah, that's cool.

00:44:22.520 Well, that's more human than, you know, the really fashionable New York City gay guy with

00:44:30.320 really short pants and no socks.

00:44:33.180 Yeah, I think that stuff's kind of getting played out a little bit.

00:44:35.700 So, yeah, did you, so I guess, so what part of being, like, a woman or, like, women's,

00:44:47.000 like, empowerment kind of disappeared or whatever?

00:44:49.020 Or did you feel like it went a different way than you expected?

00:44:51.820 Or did you feel like, because there was a time probably when you were, like, this is

00:44:55.900 a woman with her voice, right?

00:44:57.820 Yeah, that felt so good.

00:44:58.320 And that must have fucking felt cool.

00:44:59.800 It did.

00:45:00.260 It felt good.

00:45:00.800 Like, I was really breaking down doors and boundaries, you know, and I was feeling heroic and like

00:45:10.420 a pioneer.

00:45:11.400 You know, that pioneer feeling like, yes, I can.

00:45:14.780 Oh, yeah.

00:45:14.940 You know, that Rosie the Riveter poster.

00:45:17.520 We can do it, huh?

00:45:18.000 We can do it.

00:45:19.040 We can do it, too.

00:45:20.580 We're, you know, we're coming hard for this new century or what happened.

00:45:25.160 We are members of the All-American.

00:45:28.560 Yeah, like a league of their own.

00:45:29.820 Yeah.

00:45:31.300 But then it's like, yeah, the women fucked that up.

00:45:35.540 Yeah.

00:45:35.840 I think, you know.

00:45:37.060 But what happened?

00:45:38.160 Women, women fucked it up with their stupidity and their, just their, ugh, just their stupidity

00:45:47.140 and egos and their need to, like, be attractive or win or, and they love fucking over other

00:45:54.120 women.

00:45:54.740 That's the most thing nobody will ever talk about.

00:45:57.600 Really?

00:45:58.120 Oh, women get off fucking over another woman more than they, more than anything.

00:46:04.140 Oh, my God.

00:46:05.040 Well, that bitch, I showed her, I shot that bitch a lesson.

00:46:09.060 Yeah.

00:46:09.300 That's all the left is always women taking other women down.

00:46:13.500 Oh, dude, I remember in our neighborhood, somebody got a bird feeder, right?

00:46:16.740 Some bitch trying to show off, right?

00:46:19.840 And so this other lady, they were always stealing it and shit and fucking fighting over it, dude.

00:46:27.920 Yeah.

00:46:28.080 And you'd have all these hummingbirds.

00:46:29.420 That was nice.

00:46:30.120 It was that we had hummingbirds for about, I guess, probably almost six months.

00:46:33.500 And, uh, but these women were always stealing it and putting it in their own little bush

00:46:38.400 outside and stuff, and they were fucking fighting, and the police would come and-

00:46:42.200 Over a hummingbird feeder?

00:46:43.640 Yeah.

00:46:44.240 Oh, so you can imagine what it's like in Hollywood.

00:46:49.320 Yeah.

00:46:50.560 Yeah, it's just a bigger hummingbird feeder.

00:46:52.680 Yeah, kind of.

00:46:53.660 I mean, women are after other women's throats there.

00:46:56.600 Yeah.

00:46:56.860 And it's like, well, you might get your head patted from a guy with real power if you help

00:47:02.160 them do that.

00:47:03.080 That's so crazy.

00:47:04.100 It's so crazy.

00:47:04.940 Because you got up high in the Hollywood world.

00:47:07.060 You were in there.

00:47:07.820 Yeah, I was real high, but they don't have no allegiance to any group.

00:47:13.460 It's just all me, me, me, me, me.

00:47:15.460 It's just a nation of narcissists over there.

00:47:18.680 They don't feel any empathy or connection to nobody else.

00:47:23.340 Yeah.

00:47:23.500 Yeah, I was high up there.

00:47:25.900 It was weird.

00:47:27.780 But did you feel like you were like an empower, or were you of like a figure empowering women

00:47:32.680 to like be like business owners?

00:47:37.900 What did you, I guess I wonder what's your, or to have a voice?

00:47:43.940 I was trying to just empower women to think for themselves, you know, and to try to stay

00:47:49.780 true to yourself and so you can raise better kids.

00:47:53.400 Don't kneel, you know, stand tall and, you know, don't disrespect your husband either.

00:48:00.460 You know, be a team with him to raise better kids.

00:48:03.200 That's what we're supposed to do, I thought, and I still do.

00:48:08.000 But, you know, they didn't like that.

00:48:11.620 Women didn't like that.

00:48:13.040 Women, but I feel like they were led there.

00:48:15.420 They were told, oh, you can do it all.

00:48:18.020 You don't need a man.

00:48:18.940 So, you know, they have all these kids and they have no jobs and, you know, then they

00:48:23.460 struggle forever and their kids struggle too.

00:48:26.460 But nobody would tell them, you can't have it all.

00:48:30.420 You can't do it all.

00:48:31.780 You can't do it all by yourself.

00:48:33.460 It's going to be really hard.

00:48:35.020 Yeah.

00:48:35.360 And you need a guy.

00:48:37.080 You need a man in the house because he's got to lay down the law.

00:48:40.520 Not you.

00:48:41.380 You don't even, you can't lay down the law.

00:48:43.380 You're hysterical half the month.

00:48:45.740 Right.

00:48:46.080 Nobody wants to admit that either.

00:48:47.560 But the man, he has to be there steady and even to keep, you know, loving the woman when

00:48:53.840 she goes nuts.

00:48:55.120 He's got to be like steady and even with it.

00:48:58.180 Women need that balance.

00:48:59.560 And so they took that away from them and look where it went.

00:49:02.540 They're all half out of their effing mind and they're ruining everything.

00:49:05.900 And screaming about, you're, you know, you better, you know, just censoring everybody

00:49:10.840 like witches, like a cabal of witches.

00:49:13.980 It has gotten witchy.

00:49:15.080 Yeah.

00:49:16.000 And it's like.

00:49:17.480 And it ain't the right kind of witchy either.

00:49:19.860 Right.

00:49:20.320 Because witchy, that's like, you know, you're casting a spell, a good spell with words to

00:49:27.560 make people wake up or think that everything's a spell that uses words, you know, and, uh,

00:49:33.880 this is just all to get rid of words.

00:49:36.540 So we have no way of communicating or making things better.

00:49:41.060 All's we do is fight and hate.

00:49:43.820 And a lot of women love that.

00:49:45.940 A lot of women love chaos.

00:49:47.820 A lot of women are into chaos because then they can turn around when they're not crazy

00:49:52.280 and go, let me calm things down.

00:49:55.860 Bitch, you started the whole fucking thing and now you're going to come in with the solution.

00:50:00.380 You know, for real.

00:50:02.340 I have three daughters, so I know what I'm talking about.

00:50:05.200 Do you really?

00:50:05.440 Yeah.

00:50:05.680 I met your son.

00:50:07.620 I met Buck.

00:50:09.140 Yeah, you met Buck.

00:50:10.440 And I met.

00:50:11.520 Jake.

00:50:12.000 He's over there.

00:50:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:13.520 What's up, playboy?

00:50:14.900 Amen.

00:50:15.440 Nice to see you, dude.

00:50:16.360 Thanks for being here with your mother today.

00:50:20.040 Yeah.

00:50:20.460 You know, I think I don't know.

00:50:21.900 As a child of a single mother, it was interesting because my mom had to work all the time.

00:50:26.580 So I always wished that there was more of an ideal family.

00:50:30.460 You know, I would get it by watching shows like yours, like Roseanne.

00:50:34.440 And I would get it by, I mean, I remember I watched Jerry Leave It to Beaver, you know?

00:50:39.540 Yeah, I loved that show.

00:50:40.660 God, it was good.

00:50:41.540 Wasn't it good?

00:50:42.220 It was so fucking good.

00:50:43.160 Wanted to be in that family.

00:50:44.760 And Eddie Haskell.

00:50:45.760 Oh, I loved Eddie Haskell.

00:50:47.260 Me too.

00:50:48.100 Didn't you love him?

00:50:48.840 My favorite one was where they tell their parents they're going to take a bath and the

00:50:53.720 beaver and, what was the brother's name?

00:50:57.020 Wally.

00:50:57.460 Wally.

00:50:58.340 So they go in the bathroom, they close the door and they run the water in the bathtub

00:51:03.640 while they're talking and they get a wash rag and get it all wet and rub soap on it

00:51:08.000 and hold that under the faucet.

00:51:09.500 And then they wet up a towel and throw it on the floor, but they haven't taken a bath

00:51:15.100 at all.

00:51:15.580 It was so funny.

00:51:17.100 That was just genius because it's what kids do.

00:51:21.200 I loved that show because they had a lot of reality in it and I loved it.

00:51:25.640 I loved anything on TV that had any kind of reality that showed what kids really are about.

00:51:31.120 And Eddie Haskell was the best because you would be a great Eddie Haskell, by the way,

00:51:35.960 wouldn't you?

00:51:36.600 Oh, you look lovely today, Mrs. Cleaver.

00:51:40.040 Yeah.

00:51:40.660 And then you're like, I got a bag of what's it?

00:51:43.360 We're going to snort it in the garage.

00:51:45.200 Yeah, dude.

00:51:46.220 I made it myself.

00:51:49.360 Oh, dude.

00:51:50.040 I loved.

00:51:50.820 Oh, I told I used to go get high with my buddies, right?

00:51:53.700 My buddy, uh, my buddy, his dad was kind of like, he didn't know a lot about gays or

00:52:00.620 anything.

00:52:00.840 He didn't believe in it.

00:52:01.780 Right.

00:52:02.060 So sometimes I'd go outside and get high with, uh, with him, with his son.

00:52:08.700 And then I would come back in early.

00:52:11.020 Right.

00:52:11.420 And I would tell the dad, I'd be like, man, we were outside and some of the guys had their

00:52:17.160 shirts off and they were just, I don't know, Mr. Mike, they were being kind of crazy.

00:52:22.400 I felt like, or, or strange and you could see him fucking start to light up because he

00:52:26.480 thought it was like some kind of gay activity.

00:52:28.900 Right.

00:52:29.520 So we would come, uh, so, so they would come and they'd be stoned out their gills, right?

00:52:35.560 They have no idea.

00:52:36.440 I've been talking to the dad and he'd be like, you boys been queering around out there.

00:52:42.040 He would fucking lose his shit, dude.

00:52:44.440 And you could see he'd just been waiting to yell it and everybody's just standing there

00:52:49.500 just stoned.

00:52:50.300 And I am laughing so hard because I made that moment happen, you know?

00:52:55.560 Oh, shit like that.

00:52:56.720 I miss, man.

00:52:58.800 Yeah.

00:52:59.080 So I think everybody-

00:53:00.160 My dad used to call it a $3 bill.

00:53:02.320 He did?

00:53:02.820 He's, that's what his thing for gay was.

00:53:04.880 And he ended up with two gay kids.

00:53:07.260 My dad was a football player and he always would go, he'd say the girls can't go with him

00:53:12.960 and my brother.

00:53:13.580 He'd go, no, it's the boys with the boys and the girls with the girls.

00:53:17.720 There was three sisters.

00:53:19.200 He'd say, the girls I'll stay home with mom and you make dinner and that.

00:53:23.000 And me and my son, we're, we're going to do whatever we're doing because it's boys with

00:53:27.900 boys and girls with girls.

00:53:28.940 Well, he ended up with a d*** and a gay.

00:53:31.560 And I said, remember dad, you said girls with girls and boys with boy.

00:53:35.340 That's what happens.

00:53:36.980 But then he didn't know his son was gay.

00:53:39.600 I knew he was gay.

00:53:40.920 He, like when he was three and he's always wearing my mom's clothes and stuff and putting

00:53:45.500 on fashion shows.

00:53:46.460 But my dad thought that meant he needed more time with my dad, which was probably the worst

00:53:52.260 thing ever.

00:53:52.900 And my dad going around with all that homophobia.

00:53:55.580 There are queers, $3 bills.

00:53:58.380 You know, my poor brother taking them out and putting that in his head.

00:54:01.940 And, uh, and then my mom being so ladylike.

00:54:07.200 My mom's like the most ladylike.

00:54:09.140 Really?

00:54:09.720 She was the pretty girl.

00:54:11.120 Mm-hmm.

00:54:11.600 And I was her fat, ugly daughter chewing on my hair in the corner.

00:54:17.220 And, uh, she always had.

00:54:18.460 Yeah, you'll eat anything.

00:54:19.940 Oh, if you have a little bit of your own hair, you'll eat whatever.

00:54:22.600 Yeah, any.

00:54:23.180 Chewing on my nails, my arms, whatever, my hair.

00:54:26.380 But, and, uh, so, you know, she always have her makeup perfect and telling us about, you

00:54:32.560 know, how to do and say and whatever.

00:54:35.120 I ended up half nuts.

00:54:37.060 And, uh, my little sister, she ended up being all anorexic.

00:54:41.440 And then my middle sister, she ended up to be a big old, you know, and, uh, so, um, you

00:54:49.380 know, she had a big, uh, leather pouch full of marbles she carried on her overalls there.

00:54:55.320 Oh, yeah.

00:54:55.700 She said seven years old.

00:54:56.880 Les Pebbles, they called her back in the day.

00:54:58.460 Yeah, Les Pebbles.

00:54:59.460 Yeah.

00:54:59.660 Ha, ha, ha.

00:55:00.520 And, uh, my mom was doing that girl shit with us and, um, talking about, well, you know,

00:55:06.520 you gotta learn how to get them.

00:55:09.540 She told me, when you go on a date, how you get a guy is you get them to talk about their

00:55:14.480 self and this and that and the other.

00:55:16.840 And, uh, and she was giving us the female wiles, horse shit.

00:55:20.940 But, and my sister picked up a knife out of the butcher block there and she held it up

00:55:25.600 to my mom.

00:55:26.200 She goes, don't you ever, ever talk to me about sex or any of that stuff.

00:55:32.180 Ever.

00:55:33.540 So my mom's just like, oh, you're so funny.

00:55:37.140 But, uh, but, uh, but anyway.

00:55:41.780 So cut to later on, my brother comes out and, uh, so my dad, he's trying to be accepting.

00:55:50.580 He knows, oh, you know, I can't do nothing about this.

00:55:53.500 So he gives my brother knee pads for his birthday.

00:55:57.180 No way for doing oral.

00:55:58.780 Well, just knee pads going, I accept you as a gay and here's some knee pads.

00:56:03.860 Hmm.

00:56:05.020 Kind of cute.

00:56:05.940 Yeah.

00:56:06.180 Beautiful in a way for my dad.

00:56:08.000 Beautiful in a weird way, you know.

00:56:08.760 And then, uh, he never knew that my sister was gay, even though she's living with the

00:56:13.280 same girl for now it's 36 years.

00:56:16.360 They fell in love when they were 12 at Jewish camp.

00:56:19.540 Oh yeah.

00:56:20.060 And they're still together.

00:56:22.040 And when they were 12, I said, but anyway, so they was always together and, um, my dad

00:56:28.220 visited them and my sister was sitting on the couch with Maxine's head in her lap and,

00:56:33.380 you know, stroking her hair.

00:56:34.840 And my dad says to my sister, after he's already accepted a gay son, when are you two

00:56:39.940 going to find men and get married?

00:56:41.780 Cause he's so oblivious to anything.

00:56:44.420 And my sister says to him, daddy, 18 years of you was all the man I will ever want or

00:56:50.100 need in this world.

00:56:52.020 And he still didn't get it.

00:56:54.700 You know?

00:56:55.940 Yeah.

00:56:56.360 I think some people, it's hard to even imagine that.

00:56:59.500 What?

00:56:59.800 Being gay?

00:57:00.400 Yeah.

00:57:00.580 Well, I think also at a different time now it's very normal.

00:57:03.120 And I think nature has a way, like if you have an issue with gays, you get a, you get

00:57:07.640 a gay child or a gay pet or whatever.

00:57:10.720 You get something that's gay comes into your life, you know?

00:57:13.320 So you learn the lesson, you know, or you surprise yourself and you're gay.

00:57:17.680 You know, one time you are sitting by a bus on a bus by a man and you just, and he just,

00:57:22.640 you just fucking hug him and you can't stop it or something.

00:57:24.980 You know, like I think it like nature surprises you and it's like, okay, here's the thing

00:57:29.760 that's tough for you to fathom.

00:57:32.720 And now I'm going to put it in a way in your life where you have to understand it.

00:57:36.480 Right.

00:57:36.980 Well, or you won't.

00:57:39.020 Right.

00:57:39.320 Or you'll die not understanding shit.

00:57:41.600 I think that's how most people die.

00:57:43.720 You know, you can't, nothing makes sense.

00:57:46.220 Like I said, they got to make sure God or whoever, I always think of God as being the

00:57:50.760 greatest comedian because he makes sure nothing makes any damn sense.

00:57:55.100 Yeah.

00:57:55.620 Right at the end.

00:57:56.600 It's like, especially at the end.

00:57:58.980 It's like, you know, like I always think of this kid when I grew up, his dad was a dentist

00:58:03.540 while he, he had the rotten teeth and never went to the dentist.

00:58:07.620 So that, in that way, it's funny.

00:58:10.460 You know, he let all his teeth rot out and I think that he got some kind of bacterial

00:58:14.780 infection and got really, really sick.

00:58:17.400 And it's like, what does your father do?

00:58:19.140 Oh, he's a dentist.

00:58:20.040 That kind of thing.

00:58:21.560 Right.

00:58:21.880 It's always crazy like that.

00:58:23.900 It's right there.

00:58:24.820 But now the gay, because both of my gay siblings have kids.

00:58:28.660 So the gays are getting their karma for having kids, I think.

00:58:32.400 Yeah.

00:58:33.040 Their kids are grown and a lot of them's turning trans, you know.

00:58:36.940 Well, you have to outdo gay now, it seems like.

00:58:40.220 And then it's funny because the trans are so, I mean, this is a long way to go, but the

00:58:46.360 trans are so heterosexual.

00:58:50.680 Once they make their choice, then they're all the way stereotypical heterosexual.

00:58:57.140 So what do you mean?

00:58:57.920 Like a woman that decides she is really a man.

00:59:00.920 Yeah.

00:59:01.100 She's like, hey, buddy, let's watch some football.

00:59:04.080 Yeah.

00:59:04.200 And then when the guy turns girl, he's like, Dylan, what's it?

00:59:09.160 I just love to play around with my makeup and my, you know, they're just straight.

00:59:13.700 Yeah.

00:59:13.820 It's almost like they're actors.

00:59:14.940 It's almost like.

00:59:15.400 They're straight.

00:59:15.860 Yeah.

00:59:16.440 But they.

00:59:17.420 Right.

00:59:17.780 It's like you went all the way around the block and you're really just right back, but you're

00:59:21.360 doing it in your own front.

00:59:22.740 It's like.

00:59:23.320 Mm-hmm.

00:59:24.000 Yeah.

00:59:24.360 Like the gay, the trans women, they're like, how come you lesbians don't want to have sex

00:59:29.520 with us?

00:59:30.100 Well, because you have a dick.

00:59:31.800 Yeah.

00:59:32.060 And they're making a thing of it.

00:59:33.340 What do you mean?

00:59:33.940 So you're transphobic?

00:59:35.760 No, I'm a lesbian.

00:59:37.660 Yeah.

00:59:37.980 I don't want a wiener around me.

00:59:39.340 Yeah.

00:59:39.700 It's like no dicks.

00:59:41.140 Get it?

00:59:42.580 What's so fucking hard about that?

00:59:44.500 Yeah.

00:59:44.720 And then you're a transphobe.

00:59:46.000 Right.

00:59:46.560 It's like, I'm not a trans.

00:59:47.520 I don't even.

00:59:48.860 Don't.

00:59:49.360 I don't want to.

00:59:50.160 It's your thing.

00:59:51.260 I don't want to have to have a wiener because you think that you just because you have a

00:59:56.240 wiener and are secretly a woman that you get to bring a wiener in.

00:59:59.960 I know.

01:00:00.700 That's why my advice to women these days is keep your penises in your pants, women.

01:00:06.600 You know, especially when there's children, old women around.

01:00:10.040 We don't want to see other women's penises for sure.

01:00:13.780 Right.

01:00:14.160 That ain't ladylike.

01:00:15.220 A hundred percent.

01:00:16.900 Well, it's the same.

01:00:17.580 Yeah.

01:00:17.860 It's like, that's unbelievable, dude.

01:00:20.480 Yeah.

01:00:20.780 That's.

01:00:24.440 That cigarette got me.

01:00:25.780 I think it did.

01:00:27.100 I haven't had one in a long time.

01:00:28.200 I had a puff the other night and it was a lot with Ron White, you know.

01:00:32.520 Oh, I love him so much.

01:00:34.100 Dude, if he, and he's a, I mean, he would be a beautiful woman.

01:00:37.680 You think?

01:00:38.280 The beautiful hair, that guy.

01:00:39.400 Well, his hair is gorgeous.

01:00:40.640 But the rest of him, yeah, probably wouldn't, yeah.

01:00:43.820 Wouldn't go as a woman.

01:00:45.220 It'd be tough.

01:00:46.100 I mean, it depends.

01:00:46.700 If he wanted to play sports, they'd let him, you know, he'd have to, he'd be fine.

01:00:50.140 Yeah.

01:00:50.320 He could probably get on a woman's team.

01:00:52.580 Somebody would.

01:00:53.840 How funny is that guy?

01:00:55.880 Well, how funny is, to me, it's only fair if you, if a, if a, if a man, if, if a woman

01:01:01.900 also goes and plays a man, it's like, it should be Red Rover.

01:01:05.120 We're like, okay.

01:01:06.020 I know, but what woman's going to go play with a 300 pound man?

01:01:09.860 Right.

01:01:10.320 So it's not the, so they just.

01:01:12.280 So it should be like this.

01:01:13.280 The men can play women's sports if women can compete in the top dollar jobs against men,

01:01:20.240 which they'll never allow.

01:01:21.940 Like, why couldn't I go in there and run the W E F?

01:01:25.460 I got more experience than them motherfuckers.

01:01:27.980 I, I just didn't go to Harvard and say, uh, you know, take an oath over Geronimo's skull

01:01:33.780 and get fucked in a casket like they, like George Bush and all them.

01:01:38.160 You know what I mean?

01:01:38.960 Yeah.

01:01:39.160 But I should be running the world and getting the same amount of money as these men.

01:01:43.400 Let's make it fair.

01:01:45.580 I should be going where they don't let women go.

01:01:48.940 They're going to let men in the sports.

01:01:50.760 Then let me go to Davos as a representative of working class.

01:01:55.600 People say, let me represent women and men of my class where my class ain't allowed.

01:02:03.540 Yeah.

01:02:04.120 Bitches.

01:02:04.640 Yeah.

01:02:05.440 Fuckers.

01:02:05.960 I agree.

01:02:07.440 Yeah.

01:02:07.900 It's like, uh, how, how do like, do you think there's ways out like to get our, I think

01:02:16.540 there was ways when I was young.

01:02:18.040 Oh, I had this, I guess this idea of like a comfortable society.

01:02:21.760 We all like being in America.

01:02:23.500 This is this place.

01:02:25.080 It's going well.

01:02:26.940 For everybody.

01:02:28.100 Right.

01:02:28.740 Society is.

01:02:29.460 We're fixing the wrong.

01:02:30.980 Right.

01:02:31.180 We're fixing the wrong.

01:02:32.180 It felt like that.

01:02:33.140 Right.

01:02:33.300 Like I know there's a lot of racial injustice.

01:02:35.560 I know there's, um, you know, women not look, not paid fairly.

01:02:41.120 I mean, I'm, I mean, that was another thing.

01:02:43.140 My mom, I remember one time, like her boss, I think hit on her or something or it was inappropriate

01:02:47.440 and she complained about it and she complained about it and they took her job away.

01:02:51.240 Oh shit.

01:02:51.820 You know?

01:02:52.060 They did that to so many women.

01:02:53.560 Man, that shit fucking makes me so mad.

01:02:56.260 You know?

01:02:56.520 They did it to a lot of men too because women were harassing men and they didn't even look

01:03:01.460 at that or count it.

01:03:02.700 Yeah.

01:03:02.840 Power, you know, whether a man or a woman holds it is always abused.

01:03:08.420 It's never not abused, you know?

01:03:10.680 And women were doing that to other women and men too.

01:03:14.680 And they, they never even looked at that.

01:03:16.660 They said, all oppressors are male.

01:03:19.060 Yeah.

01:03:19.360 Victims are female and that's part of what made women go nuts like they are today.

01:03:23.620 They never go, Hey, I'm just as bad as a, I'm as bad as any guy.

01:03:28.980 I'm an abuser myself, but they never do.

01:03:32.160 They don't have no self-reflection.

01:03:33.920 I think this whole fucking generation has no self-reflection, which is because they don't

01:03:38.620 pay attention because they're lost in their phones.

01:03:41.820 That's what I say.

01:03:42.400 Why is it falling to me, an old woman to be the one to discipline your kids for you in

01:03:46.920 the grocery store?

01:03:47.740 I have to be the one to go over and slap your kids for you while you're on your phone

01:03:51.780 and they're sticking their fucking snot covered fingers in the goddamn hamburger buns.

01:03:57.620 You're not even paying attention.

01:03:59.040 I got to go over there and slap them for you.

01:04:02.560 Why?

01:04:05.140 Why do they even have kids is what I can understand.

01:04:08.400 They don't like them.

01:04:09.720 They don't care for them.

01:04:10.980 They do all the wrong shit and abuse them too.

01:04:13.860 Why even have them?

01:04:15.300 I don't know why.

01:04:16.160 I think because they kind of like puppies, they look cute for a while.

01:04:20.480 Oh, I think that is a lot of it.

01:04:21.800 They want them to get to hold that sign first grade, second grade.

01:04:26.160 Dude, the best was in my neighborhood.

01:04:27.700 Somebody did that.

01:04:28.420 They put their picture on Facebook of the kid and he had second grade two times.

01:04:32.480 And I was like, fuck yeah, dude.

01:04:33.980 But at least the parents put it up there as honest, you know, like second grade, try number two.

01:04:44.100 You can do it, Robert.

01:04:45.460 They wrote at the bottom.

01:04:46.340 And we know he can't do it, dude, but he's going to try.

01:04:51.060 But I at least respected that.

01:04:53.840 But yeah, I think there was something like that.

01:04:55.700 There was something that we all thought everything was going to be okay.

01:04:58.700 And then.

01:05:00.300 Yeah, we were under an illusion then.

01:05:02.880 Or do you think things were different?

01:05:04.420 Did you take my cigarettes?

01:05:05.980 I can't take another.

01:05:06.660 Oh, thank you, honey.

01:05:07.440 You can't have no more.

01:05:08.520 You can't handle it.

01:05:09.460 You can't hang with the big dog.

01:05:10.840 Thank you, actually.

01:05:11.960 It actually feels good to have.

01:05:13.140 I wish somebody would have told me that when I was young.

01:05:14.740 You can't do this and you can't.

01:05:16.400 No more of this, you know?

01:05:18.920 Yeah, well, they did tell me that.

01:05:20.720 And I was like, well, we'll see.

01:05:22.480 Yeah, that's true, huh?

01:05:23.320 So who knows?

01:05:24.140 I probably would have been my own way anyway.

01:05:25.500 I was so straight for so many years.

01:05:28.360 No cigarettes, no drinking, no drugs, nothing.

01:05:31.060 For so many years when my kids were young.

01:05:33.100 So I figured, hell, I got a lot of catching up to do.

01:05:36.260 I didn't party with all these comics and shit.

01:05:38.420 You didn't?

01:05:39.000 No.

01:05:40.740 But nowadays, wee-hoo.

01:05:45.560 And you're in a place where you're like in the best party place.

01:05:48.220 I mean, nothing's better than being able to probably smoke with Joe.

01:05:51.140 Yeah.

01:05:51.640 Or smoke with Ron or chill out with those guys.

01:05:54.340 Those guys have the best pot I've ever.

01:05:56.680 This one guy, William, that red-headed comic.

01:05:59.320 Oh, yeah.

01:05:59.740 He's an interesting guy.

01:06:00.980 Isn't he?

01:06:01.660 He's a great comic, too.

01:06:03.280 He is funny.

01:06:04.900 I took a drag of his pot and I go, this shit is Viet Cong shit.

01:06:08.680 Yeah.

01:06:09.280 It's like it made me want to dig a tunnel and shoot down a helicopter with a pea shooter.

01:06:15.000 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:06:15.840 It's like I knew I could do it.

01:06:17.500 It's like fierce.

01:06:19.260 Oh, yeah.

01:06:20.260 He's a great comic.

01:06:22.320 Yeah, he is a unique person.

01:06:25.740 Yeah.

01:06:26.020 He's a unique person.

01:06:27.800 I like to just watch him be himself.

01:06:30.160 William Montgomery.

01:06:33.020 That's his name.

01:06:33.620 He's all Celtic.

01:06:34.540 I told him, you know, Celtic because I like reading heads.

01:06:37.360 You know, I'm a head reader.

01:06:38.860 Oh, yeah.

01:06:39.140 I know you don't know what that is.

01:06:40.800 And what does that do?

01:06:41.720 What are you touching skull in there?

01:06:43.280 No, I just look at the shape of the head and I studied it for a long time and, you know,

01:06:50.000 I can see like where you're from and your ancestry and where you came from and what you're like.

01:06:55.800 And then I pair it with your astrological sign and your palm print and all that kind of shit.

01:07:01.360 And then I can tell you what you what lessons you learned and what you're still going to learn.

01:07:07.440 I'm kind of a fortune teller.

01:07:09.220 Really?

01:07:09.680 Yeah.

01:07:10.300 Can you do it on me, you think, or not?

01:07:11.660 I can, but, you know, you'll be the one that I do wrong.

01:07:15.900 Yeah.

01:07:16.560 You know, every so often I do it wrong.

01:07:18.980 Oh, yeah.

01:07:19.680 We had a lady in our town that would like read ribs.

01:07:22.260 She was like a like a mystic or whatever.

01:07:24.520 And for a carnival or whatever, they would read your ribs over there.

01:07:27.800 She'd, you know, do this and do that.

01:07:31.640 Why did she tell you?

01:07:32.180 Did you do it?

01:07:32.980 Huh?

01:07:34.000 No, I don't think they she got ended up.

01:07:37.200 They only did it for two seasons.

01:07:39.120 She got arrested for something.

01:07:40.640 Probably molesting.

01:07:42.500 It could have been.

01:07:43.580 I mean, that's a tough, you know, I guess starting at the ribs ain't a bad idea.

01:07:47.200 People don't think of that.

01:07:48.320 Yeah, that's grooming.

01:07:49.740 I'll start here at your ribs.

01:07:51.460 Yeah.

01:07:52.260 Yeah.

01:07:52.660 You're going to be a scientist.

01:07:54.940 Yeah.

01:07:56.340 You know, everything's just grooming now.

01:07:59.180 Yeah.

01:07:59.300 Is there something wrong with human society?

01:08:02.900 Is it just America?

01:08:04.460 Do you think?

01:08:05.100 Like, is there is there is there a fallacy just in being human that, you know, and this

01:08:10.780 is the character arc of the human species that we end up just staring at a phone while somebody

01:08:17.960 molests us from behind, but we don't even notice because we're so busy on our phone while

01:08:23.860 some fucking, you know, business mogul is hiding in a basement, licking a Bitcoin, you know,

01:08:31.400 with a lizard tail.

01:08:32.520 Like, what?

01:08:33.980 Yeah.

01:08:34.740 Is that where we end?

01:08:35.740 Yeah.

01:08:35.840 Okay.

01:08:37.140 That's how it always ends.

01:08:38.900 They say it's happened six times in the Earth's history that the Earth has self-destructed

01:08:43.940 and all forms of life on it died.

01:08:46.620 Wow.

01:08:47.260 Then it starts up again.

01:08:48.760 Yeah.

01:08:49.040 I think that's the story.

01:08:50.540 It's like we involution, not evolution.

01:08:53.860 We involute.

01:08:55.420 And then, you know, pretty soon we're just a stupid idiot staring at a screen while all

01:09:00.300 our tax money goes to the Ukraine.

01:09:02.440 I know.

01:09:03.280 You know what I mean?

01:09:04.300 Yeah.

01:09:04.500 What are they doing?

01:09:05.320 It's like, figure it out over there.

01:09:07.640 They're figuring out ways to kill us and they're taking bets on it and insurance policies.

01:09:13.300 Like every employer is taking out a, they don't have to tell you if you have an insurance

01:09:17.640 policy on you.

01:09:18.800 So every employer's, you know, that's a psychopath and most of them are, they're insuring all their

01:09:24.400 employees and they're like, yeah, you know, we're going to make them take this and that

01:09:29.440 and the other and live here and do that.

01:09:31.840 And then, you know, they'll be dead by 40 and I'll get the payoff.

01:09:35.380 People are doing that?

01:09:36.360 Hell yeah.

01:09:37.620 In the big casino, the big capitalist casino where they cause cancer and then, you know,

01:09:44.300 they also get a payoff when you go in for treatment.

01:09:46.900 They own that too.

01:09:47.900 They own the cancer causing chemicals and the treatment centers.

01:09:53.560 There's only like, there's only about 2,500 people in the world that own everything.

01:09:58.120 Yeah.

01:09:58.700 Oh yeah.

01:09:59.180 I believe that.

01:10:00.560 They're like, we got to get rid of these people as they bitch too much.

01:10:03.320 They don't do enough work and you know, they're eating all the good stuff.

01:10:06.780 Well, they don't care.

01:10:08.580 I mean, it's like, it's certainly got, it starts to feel like there's like this legion

01:10:12.960 of wealth or power that has decided in the past 30 years that humans are just expendable.

01:10:21.660 Yeah.

01:10:22.080 They've always thought that that's why they had serfs, the royals and they had their

01:10:26.340 serfs and they were like.

01:10:27.380 That's true.

01:10:27.840 Huh?

01:10:27.940 So it's always been there.

01:10:29.040 That idea.

01:10:29.640 Yeah.

01:10:30.120 Feudalism.

01:10:30.620 It's always been there.

01:10:31.380 And you know, we had a few couple centuries without it and the royals and the reptiles

01:10:36.540 and all them, the rulers, they, the owners, they decided, ah, fuck it.

01:10:41.740 You know, all's they do is bitch anyway.

01:10:43.680 It's a pain in our ass.

01:10:45.020 I have to deal with them.

01:10:46.240 Get rid of them.

01:10:47.920 Bring in the machines.

01:10:49.540 Oh.

01:10:51.020 Yeah.

01:10:52.600 And so it's.

01:10:54.060 Pretty soon they'll have a comic, comedian robots that'll come up and they'll tell like,

01:10:59.340 you know, they'll get it out of the encyclopedia.

01:11:01.480 Everybody's act for free.

01:11:03.080 And they'll just program the robots to tell the jokes that have already been told that

01:11:07.020 people haven't heard.

01:11:08.200 And you know, we won't have jobs no more.

01:11:11.040 But I don't know if they could ever do that.

01:11:12.940 They could never replicate you.

01:11:14.300 I don't think.

01:11:15.960 Sure.

01:11:16.440 They could.

01:11:17.200 They couldn't come up with the material, but they can use my old material.

01:11:21.260 You know, there's enough of it out there.

01:11:24.200 Yeah.

01:11:24.340 But watching some like, and they'd probably cast a man to be it.

01:11:29.600 So.

01:11:29.840 Oh, definitely.

01:11:30.360 They'd, they'd put a man in.

01:11:32.460 Definitely.

01:11:32.820 They'd put a man in.

01:11:34.000 Or sure.

01:11:35.360 Or fucking a sure.

01:11:37.020 But I don't know if the robots.

01:11:38.300 I don't know.

01:11:39.320 So I think we're in an interesting time where comedians are kind of like the last, the last

01:11:43.020 people that can kind of, or even can speak.

01:11:45.260 A lot of people can't speak in their jobs.

01:11:46.880 They get like, like attacked for speaking up online of any of their thoughts or feelings.

01:11:55.140 They're like the only people.

01:11:57.460 Comedians are kind of the only people that can speak.

01:11:59.100 And the platforms now keep you from saying certain things.

01:12:02.260 I mean, it seems like they're getting a little more free with Elon, you know, in Twitter.

01:12:05.860 But I don't know like if that will happen with a lot of platforms, but YouTube will take

01:12:10.000 down clips.

01:12:10.560 If you have certain things, if people are talking, even thinking about things that they consider

01:12:15.540 misinformation or go against their guidelines.

01:12:18.420 Yeah.

01:12:18.780 Which is, it's their business, but it's weird because that's the business that we use to

01:12:22.920 communicate on now.

01:12:24.540 Yeah.

01:12:24.920 It's all bullshit.

01:12:26.200 It's all, when I ran for president in 2012, one of my platform things was I will outlaw

01:12:32.780 bullshit.

01:12:33.640 Yeah.

01:12:34.320 Because, you know, and I know that horrified people because what will they do now?

01:12:38.580 Right.

01:12:39.160 They're addicted to it.

01:12:40.180 They'd rather have that than food or a happy family.

01:12:43.180 They're so addicted to their fucking bullshit.

01:12:45.480 It's true, huh?

01:12:46.120 But, you know, comics, I think we're the less free speech art form.

01:12:49.920 And as long as we're performing, things end as bad as they could be.

01:12:55.120 You know, I think that's true.

01:12:56.880 As long as we're performing, things aren't as bad as they could be.

01:12:59.600 Yeah.

01:12:59.860 And that's always been the case throughout time, like with jesters or with people that

01:13:03.640 we try and speak up and share.

01:13:05.820 There's always been a ceiling on speech, hasn't there, in a way?

01:13:09.740 Of course.

01:13:10.420 Nobody wants to hear the real truth.

01:13:13.180 They're horrified.

01:13:14.240 They're ready to go with bullshit.

01:13:15.460 Shit.

01:13:16.000 It's easier.

01:13:17.200 And like for the real truth that, you know, and I'm glad that they did set up all these

01:13:22.320 guidelines so that we only are allowed to speak the truth.

01:13:25.580 And the truth is that Biden got 81 million votes by winning 36 counties.

01:13:33.260 And that is just incredible.

01:13:35.960 It really, really is.

01:13:36.900 And that of these 81 million supporters who gave him more votes than any president has

01:13:45.000 ever gotten before, he came with a mandate from these 81 million voters.

01:13:49.020 And, you know, I'm just glad that they were very careful to make sure that nobody could detract

01:13:58.920 from that proven truth.

01:14:01.880 You know what I mean?

01:14:02.700 Like, what do you mean?

01:14:03.520 Like that nobody...

01:14:04.760 That they mandated that that was the truth and that nobody could say, well, what about no?

01:14:12.080 Oh, it was made a mandate?

01:14:13.340 Yeah.

01:14:13.820 Oh, I didn't know that.

01:14:15.780 So the government made it a mandate?

01:14:17.720 Yeah.

01:14:18.300 Because, you know, YouTube did and so did all the social...

01:14:22.000 Oh, so you can't speak?

01:14:22.940 You can't even speak on that in those platforms?

01:14:25.420 No, you can't say, you know...

01:14:27.320 That it wasn't?

01:14:28.080 You can't say that like, you know, there was election...

01:14:30.440 The election was rigged or...

01:14:31.340 Yeah, that's all a lie.

01:14:33.120 The election was not rigged.

01:14:34.540 36 counties can give you 81 million votes.

01:14:38.220 Right.

01:14:38.720 That's a fact.

01:14:40.820 So it wasn't rigged?

01:14:42.760 Of course not.

01:14:43.940 Yeah.

01:14:44.280 36 counties have 81 million people in them.

01:14:47.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:48.820 See?

01:14:49.940 That's the truth.

01:14:50.700 And don't you dare say anything against it or you'll be off YouTube, Facebook, Twitter,

01:14:55.660 and all the other ones because we have, you know, there's such a thing as the truth

01:14:59.920 and facts and we have to stick to it.

01:15:02.560 And, you know...

01:15:03.920 It's scary.

01:15:05.560 And that is the truth.

01:15:06.860 And nobody died in the Holocaust either.

01:15:09.200 No.

01:15:09.460 That's the truth.

01:15:10.740 Yeah.

01:15:11.120 It should happen.

01:15:12.640 Six million Jews should die right now because they cause all the problems in the world,

01:15:17.160 but it never happened.

01:15:18.680 But it never happened.

01:15:20.580 Yeah.

01:15:21.480 Mandated.

01:15:23.060 Well, you're...

01:15:24.160 Because you're part Jewish, right?

01:15:25.320 Part of your family is Jewish?

01:15:26.180 I'm all Jewish.

01:15:26.920 You're all Jewish.

01:15:27.980 100%.

01:15:28.420 And a lot of Hollywood is Jewish, yeah?

01:15:30.340 It's like a...

01:15:30.780 It's like a lot of Hollywood is a Jewish business, really?

01:15:34.660 Well, they started Hollywood.

01:15:36.140 Yeah.

01:15:36.760 Right.

01:15:37.580 But so was it weird that...

01:15:38.680 Just like rap.

01:15:39.520 Black people started rap.

01:15:41.040 Yeah.

01:15:41.560 So I wouldn't go over there and try to get in rap and go, all these black people, you

01:15:45.960 know, go on Saturday Night Live like Dave Chappelle.

01:15:48.840 I'm just saying a lot of black people are in control of rap.

01:15:53.240 Right.

01:15:53.820 Hello?

01:15:54.100 Hello?

01:15:54.340 Well, you went there.

01:15:57.340 Yeah.

01:15:57.520 You tried to get in show business.

01:15:58.760 Of course it's Jewish.

01:16:00.520 But, you know, and people should be glad that it's Jewish too because if Jews were not controlling

01:16:04.720 Hollywood, all you'd have was fucking fishing shows.

01:16:07.980 Yeah.

01:16:08.740 You see what I'm saying?

01:16:09.760 Oh, dude.

01:16:10.280 If you...

01:16:10.780 Well, I think that about that, like Jewish people, like they're just good at...

01:16:14.740 Or I talk about this in my act.

01:16:15.940 There's like a...

01:16:16.580 Just a good level of organization that goes on with Jews.

01:16:19.760 You know, you'd have like a bunch of like white people just shooting each other for

01:16:24.040 patents, I feel like, if you didn't have Jews involved.

01:16:27.380 If you didn't have the Jewish lawyers to screw those people out of their patents, think

01:16:32.200 of how bad the world would be.

01:16:34.200 But did you feel...

01:16:34.820 If you're part Jewish, did you feel weird that...

01:16:36.700 No, I'm all Jewish.

01:16:37.400 If you're...

01:16:37.700 Sorry.

01:16:37.920 If you're all Jewish, did you feel weird...

01:16:39.960 My kids are half.

01:16:41.180 Was it weird that Hollywood like went against you then because you're also Jewish or not?

01:16:46.500 Well, Hollywood Jews don't like Jews.

01:16:48.940 Let's be real.

01:16:49.880 If Hollywood...

01:16:51.140 I'm a Jew and I got fired from Jewish Hollywood.

01:16:54.360 So what does that say?

01:16:55.680 I don't...

01:16:56.080 That's what...

01:16:56.600 Yeah, I don't understand that.

01:16:58.020 Because I'm not the right kind of Jew as the Jews in Hollywood.

01:17:01.600 For one thing, I'm a Jewy Jew.

01:17:06.580 I'm the scary kind.

01:17:07.920 You are?

01:17:08.440 Yeah, I'm scary.

01:17:09.180 See this here eye?

01:17:11.020 Oh, yeah.

01:17:11.500 That's beautiful.

01:17:11.960 That's a blue eye and I got...

01:17:13.640 Oh, I didn't wear my other blue eye.

01:17:15.420 That is beautiful.

01:17:16.140 Isn't it beautiful?

01:17:17.040 Yeah.

01:17:17.260 And what that is, is the blue eye is a way to ward off other people giving you the evil eye.

01:17:25.600 So it's a protective thing.

01:17:28.220 See?

01:17:28.820 Yeah.

01:17:29.200 Because I believe in those principles that like, you know, harmonics, vibration, and those kind of things, you know,

01:17:42.500 the immutable laws of nature.

01:17:44.740 Yeah.

01:17:45.500 I don't believe in bullshit.

01:17:48.660 And I haven't given my life to a system of bullshit where the only reward is to own more bullshit than other people.

01:18:06.740 Yeah.

01:18:07.220 You know?

01:18:08.120 And unfortunately, there's a lot of Jewish people that adhere to that.

01:18:16.000 And, you know, they go where it's easier for them to be in organized crime.

01:18:28.780 Because Hollywood really is an organized crime network.

01:18:33.220 And, you know, that's what it is.

01:18:34.780 It's like pimps up, hoes down.

01:18:37.740 Yeah.

01:18:37.900 That's how I always describe Hollywood.

01:18:40.120 It's like, okay, your agent pimp, another word for pimp.

01:18:43.380 Yeah.

01:18:43.840 Your lawyer, another word for pimp.

01:18:45.540 And the hoes are the talent.

01:18:47.220 And, you know, they think that talent is expendable.

01:18:49.760 And they think the people running Hollywood are the pimps.

01:18:52.840 And they are.

01:18:54.060 It's just like any other business.

01:18:55.640 Right.

01:18:56.000 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:18:56.720 In the end, it's also just business.

01:18:58.760 It is business, which is organized crime.

01:19:01.140 All business is nothing but organized crime.

01:19:04.000 Ain't it?

01:19:04.480 It really is, yeah.

01:19:06.220 So, I mean.

01:19:07.980 And maybe this is just.

01:19:08.980 Also, Hollywood got in bed with the CIA.

01:19:13.020 And so that was government money given their way to portray certain things for mass media,

01:19:20.060 for mass consumption.

01:19:21.360 Yeah.

01:19:21.720 And to keep people in line, to keep them, like, thinking fairy tales instead of looking at the truth.

01:19:27.500 Hey, where's my tax money going?

01:19:29.480 It's like, oh, and then Richard Gere falls in love with the prostitute on Hollywood Boulevard.

01:19:35.500 Don't go down there and actually look at the 12-year-old prostitutes that live on Hollywood Boulevard.

01:19:40.360 Believe the bullshit lie that, you know, the boy always gets the girl in the end.

01:19:45.080 And, you know, that, you know, there's friendly aliens and, you know, anything Spielberg does.

01:19:52.100 It's just for mind control.

01:19:54.040 Mass media is for mind control.

01:19:55.840 And people are being paid, and they're happy to take the money to make sure that they keep the population under mind control and quiet.

01:20:05.480 They want docile workers.

01:20:08.060 Yeah.

01:20:08.580 Like in China, docile workers.

01:20:10.920 They didn't have that in America.

01:20:12.920 You know, they had loud people that were pissed, working-class people that are pissed and going,

01:20:17.320 I'm going to turn you into this and that if you don't this and that.

01:20:20.760 So they brought in all these immigrants.

01:20:22.440 That's what it's for, is to break the back of the working-class labor and pay.

01:20:27.640 It's like they'll do it for two cents.

01:20:29.740 You want a $5.

01:20:31.740 You want a $15 at minimum wage.

01:20:35.980 So we brought them in.

01:20:37.000 They'll do it for two.

01:20:38.240 See ya.

01:20:39.100 Yeah.

01:20:40.080 It's just cruel, but that's what business is.

01:20:42.800 That's what business is, really.

01:20:44.880 Yeah.

01:20:45.280 It isn't no love story.

01:20:48.280 Right.

01:20:48.680 Even though it's like, and that's the interesting thing about Hollywood is that it sells love stories.

01:20:53.200 Yeah.

01:20:53.280 It sells like.

01:20:54.480 Bullshit.

01:20:55.040 Right.

01:20:55.340 So it gets you to believe these things.

01:20:58.020 And maybe at one time it believed in those things.

01:21:00.880 It was, but I do think that over time it has been.

01:21:03.700 It never did, because you have to look at the movies that come out at the specific, I'm just talking about movies.

01:21:08.440 No, no, okay.

01:21:09.200 Mass media.

01:21:09.920 Yeah.

01:21:10.260 And TV, because I had my own shit in TV, which that would take five shows to go into the mind control of TV and advertising, which I thought Bill Hicks did better than I could ever do.

01:21:24.380 So I just tell people, go listen to Bill Hicks talk about, if you're in PR, just kill yourself.

01:21:30.580 Yeah.

01:21:30.980 I love that.

01:21:31.560 He goes, I'm not kidding.

01:21:33.380 Really, kill yourself.

01:21:34.460 But, you know, it's mass mind control.

01:21:38.620 And, but the movies, when you look at the timeframe that a movie comes out, you have to look at the whole political, the whole political geography around it and why it's coming out and what it's saying.

01:21:51.880 Because a lot of times it's kind of a fortune telling thing and it's predictive programming, it's called, because it's telling you what's going to happen pretty soon.

01:22:06.240 Especially science fiction.

01:22:08.220 What's going to happen pretty soon.

01:22:09.920 Because they're in bed with the, with the government and the CIA.

01:22:13.320 Right, so they're in bed at this point with like, with groups that have more intelligence than the average layman or whatever.

01:22:21.540 Yeah.

01:22:21.720 The regular guy.

01:22:22.440 Yeah.

01:22:23.360 They're like, oh, pretty soon they're going to take your picture at the airport.

01:22:26.100 You know, that was science fiction at one time where you have to look into the camera and have your fingerprints.

01:22:31.840 And now you have to in L.A.

01:22:32.840 You have to.

01:22:33.700 Yeah, this week the cameras were down when I was flying out and I was like, what's going on, the cameras?

01:22:37.520 And they're like, yeah, we're just, we're redoing the system or whatever.

01:22:41.580 But then I'm like, wow, man, once they just have your, it's just like, why do, it starts to feel like, is there any real value just to me being a human anymore?

01:22:50.720 Yeah, that's the ultimate value.

01:22:52.300 So if people could wake up and take that back and there were, we, and we would talk to each other with respect and actually listen, which I don't think people know how to listen to anybody no more.

01:23:02.580 Yeah.

01:23:03.500 They just want to hear themselves talk.

01:23:06.620 And all that they're saying is just parroting something they've seen on media.

01:23:10.840 That's the crazy part.

01:23:11.800 We start to just pay, like in the end, a lot of people are just parrots now.

01:23:15.580 Yeah.

01:23:16.100 It's like, there's not even a lot of it.

01:23:17.600 It's people like, even like if you look on TikTok or certain apps, there are people like trends.

01:23:23.240 So it's like, hey, just do this.

01:23:24.980 Right.

01:23:25.420 Do this next thing.

01:23:26.480 Right.

01:23:27.020 And a lot of times it's a song.

01:23:28.360 It's a piece of a song that's going to come out.

01:23:31.140 So then now you have people like trending to this song.

01:23:33.420 Next thing you know, the song is out.

01:23:34.640 Then the artist is touring.

01:23:35.560 It's all like part of a formula a lot of times.

01:23:38.940 Yeah.

01:23:39.260 Like the advertising is, they've just locked it up so much at like the algorithm of how

01:23:44.660 to do it, of how to control everybody.

01:23:47.300 But if people would wake up and take back the fact that they are a human being and what

01:23:52.760 a human being, what it is, what's the definition of a human being and what that is in my mind

01:23:58.500 anyway, is somebody who feels empathy for another human being or animal or life form, you know.

01:24:06.560 And that's what they tried to strip out of us so that we're just all very fearful and

01:24:10.700 narcissistic and we're afraid of anybody or to talk to them or listen to them.

01:24:15.440 But once we can reclaim that, and I think it's coming because I think we're going to have

01:24:20.400 a big crash and a big shutdown and we won't have any choice but to go back to basics.

01:24:25.200 I think it's going to be really good for us and we're going to get together and figure

01:24:28.940 out a better way of doing things that it doesn't come from the top down.

01:24:32.640 It comes from the bottom up because all change does in fact come from the bottom up.

01:24:36.900 And I think we're at, we're at that place, you know, where they put us into quarantine.

01:24:41.540 That was the best thing that ever happened to this country.

01:24:44.940 Although a lot of people lost their jobs in this, but the greatest thing about it was

01:24:48.940 that it broke the routine and that's one way to snap out of mind control is to break

01:24:54.300 your routine and it broke everybody's routine.

01:24:56.540 They had to stay home with their own stinking families who they hate and like actually solve

01:25:01.740 some problems or speak to each other.

01:25:04.000 So it woke people up as to what mattered and then they got on the internet and they started

01:25:11.060 looking for answers and that's why they call it the great awakening.

01:25:14.980 Or I say that's what Q was for quarantine because we all got a lot smarter.

01:25:21.000 We all got a lot healthier.

01:25:22.340 We all got a lot closer during the quarantine and it was the best thing that could have happened

01:25:27.080 to us because anything that these people that are very twisted at the top, anything that

01:25:33.460 they tried to do to us is going to end up working for our benefit as long as we've reclaimed

01:25:39.800 our humanity and our love and our connection for each other.

01:25:43.940 They can't hurt us because they don't even know what the human spirit is.

01:25:47.760 They don't have it.

01:25:49.440 So when we have it and we raise it in somebody else and then together we like bond and talk

01:25:55.800 and make each other laugh or feel any joy, they can't get at that and it's growing and

01:26:02.460 I see it everywhere.

01:26:03.660 That's why I love coming down here and working the clubs and seeing people laugh.

01:26:09.400 We have such great jobs because we're doing God's work.

01:26:16.240 We really are.

01:26:17.320 It's like we're putting severed pieces together.

01:26:19.720 Virginia Woolf said that about writers, that writers put the severed parts together and that

01:26:25.180 is what we do.

01:26:26.540 Things that you wouldn't think go together, we put together in front of people and they

01:26:31.440 go, by God, that's right.

01:26:32.960 I never saw that.

01:26:34.520 And once you put one puzzle piece together, the next few seem to fall in easier.

01:26:38.800 And I think we're doing building work for grassroots and it starts and ends with laughter because

01:26:45.480 at the end, laughing power to scorn is the way to take it, the fastest way to take it

01:26:53.220 down.

01:26:53.660 And the fastest way to rebuild it is with words that mean something, spoken from one to another.

01:27:01.120 Words that mean something.

01:27:02.800 And that people understand, not an assault on words like they're doing now, but words that are

01:27:09.380 understandable to each other where we can build common ground with each other and like do better.

01:27:15.720 It can't be, I mean, we can't do worse for fuck's sake.

01:27:20.700 We can do better.

01:27:21.660 So you feel positive.

01:27:22.920 So in the end, so you do feel like you feel hopeful.

01:27:26.780 Oh, I do.

01:27:28.320 I feel hopeful knowing that this is weird because you didn't know Mitzi Shore, did you?

01:27:33.940 Mm-mm.

01:27:34.880 Yeah.

01:27:35.540 Well, Mitzi used to get, you know, at the comedy store in LA, this was all the comics.

01:27:40.460 This was like, you know, just all the great comics of my generation and before Richard Pryor.

01:27:47.240 Um, I'm blank, but you know, all the good ones that I idolized and, and the ones of my generation

01:27:54.700 too, that a lot are gone.

01:27:57.300 Mitzi would take us in.

01:27:58.800 We'd all be sitting around talking and drinking and stuff.

01:28:01.520 And, uh, everybody would say the most important place on the planet, the most important thing

01:28:07.520 on the planet is comedy.

01:28:09.320 It's like, you know, what we think and thought then.

01:28:14.060 The most important thing is comedy.

01:28:15.700 The most important place for comedy was Los Angeles.

01:28:19.760 The most important place for, in Los Angeles is a comedy store.

01:28:23.960 This is, you know, we'd say pretty much, this is the birthing place of where everything

01:28:31.040 will go out and new thoughts.

01:28:32.680 And this is it, you know, this is the revolution.

01:28:36.280 And, um, and I feel that here at Joe's and he honors Mitzi's memory too, you know, and,

01:28:42.320 uh, just sitting in the comedy room with other comics and it's a disparate group, you know,

01:28:48.580 very different cultures and colors and stuff.

01:28:51.380 And just sitting and making fun of something and you can just feel the consciousness blooming,

01:28:58.600 not being shut down.

01:29:00.660 Like when you go other places and shit, just, it's like the poetry is opening and everybody's

01:29:06.980 rising to the occasion and wants to say something even funnier, something even, uh, more powerful,

01:29:13.920 yanking on each other.

01:29:15.600 And I mean, there's nothing better than hanging out with comics and fucking around with words

01:29:20.360 and ideas.

01:29:21.140 It's the greatest thing in the world.

01:29:22.660 That's, that's what I, it's what saves me over and over and over for how bad I've gone

01:29:31.040 through shit.

01:29:31.660 But, you know, it's always coming back to, to, uh, comedy.

01:29:36.820 Yeah.

01:29:37.580 Fuck.

01:29:38.000 It's powerful in my life and, uh, all comics lives.

01:29:41.980 And I think to all the fans of comedy, people are real fans of comedy, even if they don't

01:29:47.220 know they are.

01:29:49.220 Yeah.

01:29:49.840 Like Trump's a funny son of a bitch.

01:29:51.700 Oh, I got to meet him.

01:29:52.780 You did?

01:29:53.400 Yeah.

01:29:54.000 I met him years ago, but he's funny.

01:29:56.280 And I think that's a lot of why people like him so much.

01:29:59.340 Yeah.

01:29:59.720 He had some, well, yeah, he doesn't get enough credit for being, uh, for a lot of his sense

01:30:02.960 of humor or just his ability to just like being so, uh, just let shit roll right off

01:30:09.820 of him.

01:30:10.080 You know, some of the stuff he says is fucking hilarious.

01:30:13.420 Um, I think a lot of my black friends like Trump more now too.

01:30:17.260 Yeah.

01:30:17.700 I have.

01:30:18.240 He's growing with the black community.

01:30:19.800 Oh yeah.

01:30:20.660 I know so much about that because when I ran for president, I ran as the, uh, representative

01:30:26.100 of, of the black caucus of the green party.

01:30:29.780 Damn, you went deep.

01:30:31.180 I did.

01:30:31.940 Black and green.

01:30:32.680 I know black and green and you, but that's how I always was in the sixties was that too,

01:30:38.180 you know?

01:30:38.500 And, um, you know, I, like I say, I never changed.

01:30:41.720 I'm the same as I always was.

01:30:43.200 It's them that changed.

01:30:44.880 They went off the edge, but, um, both sides, right and left, but, um, I was in the middle.

01:30:50.320 I love the middle, but, uh, um, but, um, so I've always been in that milieu.

01:30:57.020 I always care about that, you know?

01:30:58.760 And, uh, so, uh, we have the evidence.

01:31:02.160 I, when I ran, I also sued the state of Georgia with Cynthia McKinney, who was my campaign manager.

01:31:08.460 And we sued the state of Georgia over its election laws, which are now coming into play

01:31:14.120 in the election right now.

01:31:15.560 They're trying to, you know, pretend like they don't cheat, but, uh, and they, they say

01:31:22.520 they're going to indict Trump, blah, blah.

01:31:24.140 I hope they do because my lawsuit and Cynthia's, I think it will be part of like the, the case.

01:31:32.560 Yeah.

01:31:33.120 File.

01:31:33.640 And it will help him win because I went through it when I tried to get on the ballot in Georgia

01:31:38.800 too.

01:31:39.220 And Cynthia was the rep, was, uh, the representative from Georgia and they screwed her with fake

01:31:46.620 voting machines to get her out because she asked Cheney where the money was going.

01:31:50.500 They wanted her out.

01:31:52.260 But anyway, she's a black woman for those who don't know, but she said, she said, of course

01:31:58.200 she had to go to Bangladesh to get the fuck out of here, you know, to teach college there.

01:32:03.380 But she said, she was your campaign, uh, manager and partner, but, but she says, uh, the truth

01:32:10.300 of it is that in 2020 Trump won big and he won black.

01:32:15.720 And that's part of why the Dems are all freaked out because, you know, they lost control of,

01:32:20.580 uh, their, who they looked at as their servant class.

01:32:25.420 Well, yeah, I think, well, I do think it is kind of dis, uh, sometimes it makes me, sometimes

01:32:29.880 it's tough as a white guy to talk, uh, like if you like have any, like, it's like black

01:32:38.520 people don't want to hear sometimes a white person talk about black stuff, right?

01:32:42.100 No, of course not.

01:32:43.000 And I don't blame them.

01:32:43.740 That's all, you know, the voice that they didn't even have a voice for so long.

01:32:46.800 So the echo of the voice from past, it's still fucking in the air.

01:32:52.800 I don't like that.

01:32:53.560 They call me white.

01:32:54.560 A lot of Jews don't because while they was in slavery and all that shit, so was we, and

01:32:59.160 we was getting our asses buried alive over there in the Ukraine by the same people that,

01:33:04.420 you know, our government is the same people.

01:33:09.680 But, um, you know, we was getting that happening to us and every place else in Europe.

01:33:14.520 But, um, so don't include me in that, but I also have North African origins and, um, uh,

01:33:23.820 cause I did the whole DNA deal, you know?

01:33:25.880 Oh, I used to be a real wigger when I was like a kid, you know?

01:33:29.380 So everybody, all working class kids are.

01:33:32.380 Oh, definitely, dude.

01:33:34.100 I mean, it's a class thing, not a race thing.

01:33:36.320 And that's what they don't want us to know.

01:33:38.320 Yeah.

01:33:38.440 But, you know, they keep on calling it race, race, race when it's class and they don't

01:33:43.560 want us to know it because they're all, you know, working the machine to get money.

01:33:47.800 But black people are getting way smarter than that.

01:33:49.700 Well, they, and faster and not to say that they haven't always been, but I think they're

01:33:53.440 also getting to a level where they can have their needs met now so they can make choices

01:33:58.140 for themselves.

01:33:59.020 So you don't have to make that choice or you don't have to feel like you have to pander

01:34:04.400 to a politician.

01:34:05.320 Maybe.

01:34:05.840 I don't know if they ever felt like that.

01:34:07.200 I don't know.

01:34:07.920 I don't know.

01:34:08.720 But I, I told Cynthia, I said, by God, it's so, uh, you know, they, uh, we owe African Americans.

01:34:16.880 It's, I mean, if things were to ever be straightened out or whatever, we owe them for saving our

01:34:22.720 country by, by their 2020 vote, but nobody knows it yet.

01:34:27.560 But I have faith that we will know what the truth sometime.

01:34:30.840 So you think that the election was just, it was fake.

01:34:34.540 That I believe Biden got 81 million votes in 36 counties.

01:34:39.380 There's 81 million people living within 36 counties.

01:34:43.440 It's the only thing you can believe.

01:34:45.020 It's true.

01:34:45.780 Yeah.

01:34:45.980 It's absolute fact.

01:34:49.160 When you look back on running for president, do you think like-

01:34:51.680 And the FBI didn't interfere in 2016 with saying Hillary's innocent and they didn't interfere

01:34:58.740 in 2020 by saying Biden was, was Russian shit about the laptop.

01:35:04.420 They did not interfere in any way when, when, uh, Facebook paid for all those voting machines

01:35:10.100 and all that, that was not interference.

01:35:13.100 But, but those three Russian ads on Facebook were interference in 2016 that when they said

01:35:20.040 they liked Trump.

01:35:20.140 Remember that huge thing that Trump was working for, remember that whole fucking, for nine

01:35:25.080 months of television.

01:35:26.200 It was three years, honey.

01:35:28.480 It was three years.

01:35:28.500 Oh, was it?

01:35:29.100 Jesus Christ.

01:35:29.740 I don't watch enough TV, but, um, it was like, yeah.

01:35:33.020 And it was nothing.

01:35:33.980 There was no value to it.

01:35:35.260 It ended up being nothing.

01:35:36.260 Remember that?

01:35:36.840 Mm-hmm.

01:35:37.660 That's crazy.

01:35:38.280 But it's like, yeah.

01:35:38.880 It's like-

01:35:38.960 You know, the dossier said that Trump hired hookers and brought them up to his room and-

01:35:43.340 Oh, I believe that.

01:35:44.080 And peed on them.

01:35:45.860 Eh.

01:35:47.120 If you know Trump at all, you know, he's like Howard Hughes and he doesn't even, he can

01:35:51.240 barely get around people.

01:35:53.080 Yeah, he'd pee in the other room.

01:35:53.540 Yeah.

01:35:53.900 Yeah, he would do it in private.

01:35:55.620 Yeah, actually, you know what?

01:35:57.460 I know some people that would pee on people.

01:36:00.000 I don't think he would, uh, I don't, uh, I don't think he would do it.

01:36:04.020 I don't think he'd pee on them either.

01:36:05.740 Yeah.

01:36:05.840 Because he knows, he knows they'd tell.

01:36:08.000 Yeah.

01:36:08.400 Oh, yeah.

01:36:08.760 You can't pee on somebody without them knowing.

01:36:11.220 That you have to have their consent.

01:36:12.480 Although a lot of people do get peed on without their consent.

01:36:15.340 People love it.

01:36:16.000 I mean, it's-

01:36:16.900 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:17.940 I think if, especially if you're getting married, like, yeah, I think Italians.

01:36:21.760 Can you believe that people pee on each other for sexual pleasure and poop on each other

01:36:26.520 and beat each other's ass and all the crap, all the ridiculous shit people do for their

01:36:31.880 sex pleasures?

01:36:33.580 Good God.

01:36:34.880 Yeah, whatever happened to just, just fucking just having sex for a few minutes and just

01:36:39.600 having like a TV dinner or whatever.

01:36:41.140 I know, the good things in life, right?

01:36:43.900 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:36:45.180 Oh, God.

01:36:46.220 Sometimes I just, oh, I don't know.

01:36:50.480 A Salisbury steak to me is just as good almost sometimes.

01:36:53.760 My grandma used to live on them in the little plastic packets.

01:36:57.340 Yeah.

01:36:57.900 Oh, every night she'd come home from work and have a Salisbury steak.

01:37:01.920 God, they were good, boy.

01:37:03.380 They were good.

01:37:04.020 I miss, TV dinners were good, huh?

01:37:05.920 They were good.

01:37:06.580 And they had just enough P's that you could deal with.

01:37:09.040 You're like, I fucking hate P's, but I can handle 17 of them.

01:37:13.800 You said 17.

01:37:15.440 That's how many they had in the ones we had.

01:37:17.220 Did you count them?

01:37:17.960 No, we fucking knew what was going on.

01:37:21.140 We were fucking, we knew what was going on by us, dude.

01:37:24.740 It was fun.

01:37:25.720 How old were you when you started doing stand-up?

01:37:28.260 I think probably 24.

01:37:31.200 So, you know, I started down in New Orleans.

01:37:32.920 There wasn't really a place there.

01:37:34.620 And then I took a class out in L.A. when I got there.

01:37:36.860 Judy Carter had a comedy class.

01:37:38.140 Oh, yeah.

01:37:39.120 Remember Judy Carter?

01:37:39.900 Oh, yeah.

01:37:40.240 You guys probably did comedy together.

01:37:41.360 Yeah.

01:37:41.840 Yeah.

01:37:42.160 Very funny.

01:37:43.100 Yeah, she was really cool.

01:37:44.160 And she had an assistant that taught us.

01:37:45.900 And it was neat, man.

01:37:47.500 But the cool thing about the class was at the end, you got on stage.

01:37:50.020 You got on stage at the improv.

01:37:52.040 Oh, cool.

01:37:52.720 So, you got three minutes.

01:37:53.960 It was a packed house.

01:37:54.820 And you got your tape.

01:37:55.760 And then you're like, wow, dude, I was on stage.

01:37:58.240 And so, then you're like, now I can, I seem like a comedian.

01:38:01.380 I have a piece of tape.

01:38:02.580 And you just built from there.

01:38:04.600 Did you kill?

01:38:05.900 I did well.

01:38:07.620 I had those jokes about my dad, you know.

01:38:09.900 I was so ashamed of my dad.

01:38:11.500 I didn't realize it, you know, until I got older.

01:38:13.820 But I just, but he ended up being a source of things that were humorous to me.

01:38:18.420 And, um, just the, dude, my dad, like, like, we go through a drive-thru and he could never

01:38:25.260 hear the lady who was fucking, it was always a fucking, everything was a nightmare.

01:38:30.040 He drove this Cutlass, like an old Delta 8080, brought from some brothers that lived

01:38:33.980 around the corner.

01:38:34.660 And so, it had these speakers in it, right?

01:38:36.900 And so, he couldn't even fucking hear.

01:38:38.380 So, he'd be driving around just listening to, like, Paul Harvey, right?

01:38:42.540 And, uh, like, on Rush Limbaugh or something, and the, with bass, you know, like, nobody just

01:38:50.240 had, like, the crop report was coming across the fucking, you know, like, the fucking, uh,

01:38:56.400 pork futures.

01:38:57.220 And they're just talking about, with bass coming out of, you have a 70% chance of rain.

01:39:05.960 And he was, like, he couldn't hear anything.

01:39:10.080 Dude, one time, my dad, he would make us stand on the front seat when he would drive because

01:39:14.780 he had to, he had to tell him what to do, right?

01:39:16.800 And so, I was like, fuck, I don't know, five years.

01:39:18.900 What do you mean you had to tell him what to do?

01:39:20.720 Like, if the lights were red or green or whatever.

01:39:22.620 Oh, my God.

01:39:23.380 Because he couldn't move his net.

01:39:24.900 Oh, my God.

01:39:26.400 Yeah, so it was like, it was a team, dude.

01:39:28.920 When we hit the road, it was a fucking team, dude.

01:39:31.220 We were in it together, you know?

01:39:32.780 You had to go, dad, the light's green, you can go?

01:39:34.880 Yes, or dad, the light's red.

01:39:36.780 He'd be like, what do I do, damn it!

01:39:39.180 Right?

01:39:39.660 You'd just fucking lose it.

01:39:40.840 It's like Mr. Magoo.

01:39:42.120 Oh, bro, he could not handle it, bro.

01:39:44.500 And he just had that, he had that limited neck on him, you know?

01:39:48.360 And, uh, so I'd be over in the passenger seat, just like, you know, almost like the captain

01:39:52.460 of a ship, you know, like, onward, you know?

01:39:55.320 You fucking, and, um, one time.

01:39:59.680 Where was your mom?

01:40:00.880 I don't know.

01:40:01.980 She was probably working.

01:40:03.000 She was, like, traveling somewhere.

01:40:04.680 I mean, she'd go, you know, she'd go work sometimes on other sales jobs, and I don't

01:40:10.080 know where she was, driving, selling something.

01:40:13.300 And, uh, one time my dad, like a black, a big crow came in the window and broke out some

01:40:19.160 of the back windows with his beak.

01:40:20.520 And so I'm trying to tell my dad, I'm like, dad, there's a black bird in here.

01:40:26.300 And he thought it was a black guy, right?

01:40:27.940 Like, he was pretty, you know, I don't know if he was racist, but he was just like an old

01:40:30.940 guy in 1990.

01:40:33.200 You know what I'm saying?

01:40:34.140 So he had black friends, but he also, like, would say shit that was just something this

01:40:39.500 older person would say.

01:40:40.980 So he just starts, uh, he just starts yelling the N word, right?

01:40:46.060 Oh my God.

01:40:46.800 And he thinks it's a person.

01:40:48.160 He thinks it's a black guy breaking out the windows in the back of the car.

01:40:52.360 But I said, it's a black bird, right?

01:40:54.320 He, I just, I'm not getting it.

01:40:55.460 He's just not paying it or something.

01:40:56.840 And he's like, damn it.

01:40:58.420 He's just yelling at shit, using all these expletives, bro.

01:41:02.740 Oh my God.

01:41:04.260 That's insane.

01:41:05.540 So it was just insanity.

01:41:06.960 I didn't realize it at the time, but it makes your mind like, you know, you have this weird

01:41:13.120 level, like this weird reality starts to form, you know?

01:41:17.700 Yeah.

01:41:18.100 It's out of the norm.

01:41:19.500 Yes.

01:41:19.760 It's out of the norm.

01:41:21.020 It gets, it's expansive, huh?

01:41:23.680 It's like reality expands.

01:41:25.740 Yes.

01:41:26.260 Way past.

01:41:27.840 Reality expands.

01:41:29.160 Yeah.

01:41:29.480 Yeah.

01:41:29.760 And it should be this safe, comfortable thing that a child can operate in and, you know,

01:41:34.940 and then.

01:41:35.340 Yeah.

01:41:35.360 You're not worried for your life.

01:41:36.960 Yeah.

01:41:37.220 You're not worried for somebody else's life.

01:41:38.900 Yeah.

01:41:38.960 You're not on the edge.

01:41:39.940 You're not directing traffic at fucking six.

01:41:42.580 You know, you're not like.

01:41:44.280 I used to, that's crazy that you said that because my hobby when I was a kid, I was always

01:41:50.500 crazy.

01:41:51.940 Born nuts.

01:41:53.560 Fucking A.

01:41:54.680 I don't know why.

01:41:56.600 But like I was three years old, my mom says, and I would run out of the house and ride into

01:42:02.220 traffic and start directing traffic.

01:42:04.480 We lived by a big old, I guess it was a four lane street then.

01:42:10.120 You started directing traffic.

01:42:11.600 Yeah.

01:42:12.820 I was only three.

01:42:14.340 And my mom said they'd look and I wouldn't be in the house.

01:42:17.360 So they'd go down to the corner.

01:42:18.860 And there I was just standing in the street and going like this to the cars, like this.

01:42:24.800 And they'd be honking and shit.

01:42:26.680 And yeah.

01:42:28.300 And they'd go get me and beat my ass and drag me home.

01:42:31.700 You know, you're not to go in the street.

01:42:34.900 And I remember it too.

01:42:36.120 You are not to go in the street.

01:42:38.980 We've told you so many times.

01:42:41.700 You know, as soon as I could get out again.

01:42:44.280 As soon as I saw, I'd always be watching too.

01:42:45.980 When that little hook on the screen door wasn't on, they'd always put it on, you know.

01:42:50.560 But sometimes if I kicked it, it'd fly up and you could get out.

01:42:54.320 And I'd run back down.

01:42:55.780 They'd run in the street and just go like this.

01:42:57.700 One hand.

01:42:58.360 And then cut to I'm 15.

01:43:03.220 I get hit by a car.

01:43:04.440 So that was my total karmic return there.

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01:43:39.480 But yeah, I used to love to walk down the streets and fucking put myself in the craziest shit.

01:43:48.360 Yeah.

01:43:48.600 Yeah.

01:43:49.100 Putting yourself into something, man.

01:43:51.000 Putting yourself into some chaos.

01:43:52.620 Not thinking that chaos was chaos.

01:43:54.760 That was a...

01:43:55.100 Mm-mm.

01:43:55.500 Like to you, if something goes crazy, it's kind of a normal...

01:43:58.680 Like this is when it's getting exciting.

01:44:00.600 Yeah.

01:44:00.960 I just love to affect things or something.

01:44:04.320 Yes.

01:44:04.540 I want to have an effect somehow on what's going on.

01:44:07.420 I don't want somebody choosing how I affect things.

01:44:10.840 I want to affect things how I want to affect things.

01:44:13.820 I think that I was really crazy and thought I had some superpowers or something.

01:44:20.340 You know, like a lot of little kids will think that.

01:44:24.360 I think that I thought I had the power to stop traffic.

01:44:29.180 And I did.

01:44:30.520 Oh, yeah.

01:44:30.760 Nobody was going to run me over there.

01:44:32.460 It was going to hit a three-year-old back then.

01:44:33.720 It's a good thing your fucking dad wasn't driving down this.

01:44:38.080 He would have run me over.

01:44:39.760 Yeah, did he run me over?

01:44:40.500 You wouldn't have been able to see me because I was beneath the hood there.

01:44:44.100 Just see two pigtails popping up over the hood.

01:44:48.120 When you look back on like your Hollywood career, do you miss it kind of?

01:44:51.360 Are you okay with it?

01:44:52.260 I mean, I don't know if you get out of any bigger of a career really, huh?

01:44:55.660 I don't think so.

01:44:56.980 I've had 44 million people a week watching my show, but there was only three channels or something.

01:45:02.580 And then coming back to 28 million, I think I've done it.

01:45:07.840 You know, I don't miss the process of being around people that don't respect me.

01:45:14.900 You know, that's hard.

01:45:16.800 It takes a wear and tear on you.

01:45:18.960 Well, it changed so much.

01:45:20.660 It's why people have had to start podcasts.

01:45:22.700 It's why people have had to start making their own things.

01:45:24.920 Because creativity, it wasn't even respected.

01:45:27.940 Like, I went to Hollywood, I think part of me wanted to have my own voice from where I was from.

01:45:33.100 I wanted to tell stories about where I was from and like share things that I thought were interesting.

01:45:37.960 And then you get there and they're like, you know, you should probably take an accent class so you don't have your accent.

01:45:45.120 You should do the, you know, and it was just like, fuck, man, I didn't, I felt of no value.

01:45:51.360 And then that's when like the things started getting like politically kind of divided.

01:45:56.920 And then just because I was from Louisiana and have a semblance of a Southern accent that people immediately just pigeonhole you.

01:46:04.820 Oh, yeah.

01:46:05.320 We don't even have use for you.

01:46:06.500 Like, I don't know a Southern character that they've had on television in so long.

01:46:12.140 Like, so how do you like, and not that they have to have a Southern character, but.

01:46:16.680 You think that they would, but they don't.

01:46:20.000 You think that they would appreciate talent and want to nurture.

01:46:23.220 Like if I was the president of a network, that's what I would do.

01:46:26.160 Oh, dude.

01:46:27.040 That's what Mitzi did.

01:46:28.060 She nurtured all of us along and we all looked and acted different.

01:46:31.080 We're from different places.

01:46:32.440 Yeah.

01:46:32.740 That's what you do if you like talent, but they don't.

01:46:36.020 They don't like none of us.

01:46:37.360 Well, they like the algorithm now.

01:46:38.720 They like whatever's easiest.

01:46:39.780 How do we get this shot to be the shortest?

01:46:41.660 Even when you're watching films and television, you notice it now.

01:46:44.240 Like, like you take a guy like John Ritter, right?

01:46:46.780 Mm-hmm.

01:46:47.180 You know who I'm talking about?

01:46:48.560 Yeah, I know him.

01:46:48.960 Did you ever get to meet him?

01:46:49.820 Yeah, he was a very nice man.

01:46:51.360 Really?

01:46:52.100 Very nice.

01:46:53.020 Wow.

01:46:53.140 That around me, he was nice.

01:46:55.320 I don't know.

01:46:55.760 His son was super nice.

01:46:56.960 I met his son.

01:46:57.540 His son is so kind.

01:46:59.400 But he was like a talent.

01:47:00.840 Like you could watch him.

01:47:02.320 Yeah.

01:47:02.560 And they'd give him wide shots and they'd let him behave and like, and you got to see somebody

01:47:08.680 express themselves.

01:47:09.980 Now everything's a lot more like we get this, we get this.

01:47:12.820 It's all just like in the writing.

01:47:14.720 It's, I don't know.

01:47:16.340 Yeah.

01:47:16.700 They don't like talent.

01:47:18.140 They don't like originality.

01:47:19.880 They hate originality.

01:47:20.180 No, SNL is like that.

01:47:21.020 There's no care.

01:47:21.580 There's no people that have so many insane talents anymore.

01:47:24.460 There's a couple of impersonators.

01:47:26.780 It's a lot of it's in the writing.

01:47:28.200 Um, they don't push any boundary, you know, it's, I don't know, but I think that's why

01:47:34.500 other things have started.

01:47:35.680 That's why you have, um, people even starting their own comedy clubs in other places, you

01:47:41.960 know?

01:47:42.340 Yeah.

01:47:42.560 Cause you, you push something down, it goes someplace else.

01:47:45.680 So that's why this place is exciting.

01:47:47.540 And I think maybe this lights the, you know, lights up the whole place where people can

01:47:53.180 like actually start doing great comedy again.

01:47:56.000 Cause it was like kind of dead for a long time, like rock and roll, you know?

01:48:01.840 Yeah.

01:48:02.280 Just kind of over and over and over and country music too, over and over even rap stale.

01:48:09.320 And then all of a sudden the fuse gets lit and a whole bunch of new creative things happen.

01:48:15.020 So I hope that's happening.

01:48:16.560 Yeah.

01:48:17.040 I hope that's happening with comedy.

01:48:18.840 When I watch these young people, I think that, well, that's new.

01:48:22.400 I haven't seen that.

01:48:23.860 I haven't seen a guy do that or I haven't seen a woman do that before.

01:48:28.380 And it's exciting to see it.

01:48:30.340 I'm excited.

01:48:30.900 We need some new, we need some more, I don't want to say new, I mean, I don't know a ton

01:48:34.800 of female comedians.

01:48:35.660 I know some, you know, um, I haven't been in the clubs as much recently.

01:48:39.920 So that's where you kind of meet a more up and coming comedians, but I would like to

01:48:44.080 see more Mexican comedians.

01:48:45.660 That's something I don't think that I see enough of sometimes, or maybe I'm not familiar

01:48:49.140 enough.

01:48:50.420 Um, there's a lot of Hispanic comedians I've seen.

01:48:53.260 They're very funny.

01:48:54.240 I'm, I really am liking the middle Eastern comedians too.

01:48:57.800 There's a lot of them out there.

01:48:59.140 Yeah.

01:48:59.420 We got a guy this week, a son that's opening up for us that works here.

01:49:01.900 He's funny.

01:49:02.560 He is funny.

01:49:03.820 That's a new voice that we haven't heard a lot of.

01:49:07.400 It's good.

01:49:08.260 Yeah, it is good.

01:49:09.860 Well, you know, and I think it's, yeah.

01:49:12.980 And you just have to let people be funny.

01:49:14.580 You have to let people take their risk.

01:49:16.160 You know, we put, when you start to limit people's words, or they said this, or they,

01:49:20.080 you just, you're killing everything.

01:49:22.040 But I agree.

01:49:23.300 There's a, there's a part of us in humans that wants to, that wants to get out, you know?

01:49:28.220 And I think it will, I think it'll find its way out.

01:49:30.580 You know, I believe that.

01:49:32.080 I think we have to believe that.

01:49:33.260 We do have to believe it.

01:49:34.300 As comedians, we have to believe that, you know?

01:49:36.160 It's like, because, yeah, I think people look to us for like, how can we say this?

01:49:41.140 Somebody has to say this thing in society.

01:49:43.100 Yeah, there's a lot of that.

01:49:44.920 There's a lot of that, people going, you know.

01:49:47.280 Somebody say this, we can't say this.

01:49:49.780 Right.

01:49:50.200 That's what I feel a lot of times.

01:49:51.500 I'm like, how do I say, like, I know what I want to say.

01:49:53.240 I think that all the time.

01:49:54.360 How, how am I going to, where are the words, where are the words?

01:49:57.620 I got to get the words, you know, get the right words in the right order with the right rhythm.

01:50:02.640 And it's so hard, but it's like, you know, you're on that simmer, like on the stove.

01:50:09.420 Simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer.

01:50:10.880 I don't know for how long, months sometimes.

01:50:13.520 Oh, yeah.

01:50:13.960 And then you're just sitting there sometime cutting up a carrot and it's like, ping.

01:50:18.580 Yeah.

01:50:19.100 The words come.

01:50:20.680 Oh, it's such a great feeling, isn't it?

01:50:23.120 Yeah.

01:50:23.640 It's like, and it comes with an electric charge.

01:50:25.400 You're like, this is going to do it.

01:50:26.700 Yeah.

01:50:27.160 And you know, and especially the good, the neat thing about having done comedy for a while,

01:50:30.660 and I'm not saying you become like a savant or that you are a know-it-all, but you start

01:50:36.020 to know your own voice and your brain knows what will work on stage and you can get it

01:50:40.320 off stage and be like, that's what it is.

01:50:42.840 Yeah.

01:50:43.360 You don't even have to really try, you have to try it a few times to make sure and get

01:50:46.460 it right, but you can pick it up.

01:50:48.280 You can learn it off stage and like, that's it.

01:50:51.440 Did you ever go on a nice honeymoon whenever you were younger?

01:50:54.340 You mean on my marriages?

01:50:56.400 Yeah.

01:50:56.660 Um, the first time I got married to Jake's dad, um, we went to the justice of the peace

01:51:06.280 and then we went to target for our honeymoon.

01:51:09.240 Oh yeah.

01:51:09.560 We had 36 bucks we could spend.

01:51:12.220 So we bought a garbage can and a case of beer and I bought a pair of white shoes.

01:51:20.020 Yeah.

01:51:20.540 And then we went home and we were really poor living in the mountains of Colorado and all

01:51:25.000 our friends had gifted us canned, canned goods for our wedding present.

01:51:30.880 And so we just stayed with our friends, like smoking a ton of pot and singing a lot of musicians

01:51:38.020 and singing and playing music.

01:51:40.440 And that was our honeymoon.

01:51:41.640 We camped out in tents and that was a good honeymoon.

01:51:45.160 That's cool.

01:51:45.700 That was real hippy dippy honeymoon.

01:51:48.640 And then second, who'd I marry?

01:51:50.560 Oh, Tom Arnold.

01:51:52.200 And, uh, that was a honeymoon from hell.

01:51:54.880 Oh my God.

01:51:55.580 I should talk about that honeymoon.

01:51:56.880 Yeah.

01:51:57.060 He sweats a lot.

01:51:58.680 Tell me about it, bitches.

01:52:00.660 Where's my fucking cigs?

01:52:02.780 Oh, I put them on.

01:52:03.720 Oh, that honeymoon.

01:52:05.640 I didn't even want to get married.

01:52:07.340 As we were saying our vows, I was crying in the closet.

01:52:11.080 Like, oh my God, how do I get out of this?

01:52:13.060 But I didn't want him to see me crying because he'd slap.

01:52:16.420 He's sensitive.

01:52:17.380 He'd beat me up.

01:52:18.800 So I was like faking like I was, uh, and, uh, so, uh, we got married and, uh, oh my God,

01:52:28.700 what a nightmare.

01:52:29.840 So, uh, that was a fucking nightmare.

01:52:32.820 I haven't even talked about it.

01:52:34.120 Did y'all go on a honeymoon though?

01:52:35.580 Yes.

01:52:36.160 We went to Mexico.

01:52:38.460 Oh God.

01:52:39.540 Huh?

01:52:40.600 Yeah.

01:52:41.440 Okay.

01:52:42.200 As always happened with him, some hotel down there that had private swimming pools.

01:52:47.660 Cause I'm like, I gotta have a private swimming pool so I can swim.

01:52:50.900 Cause I, I'm not going to let nobody get a picture of me in my bathing suit because I

01:52:54.760 was really fat.

01:52:55.760 And so was he.

01:52:58.380 So we got it.

01:52:59.740 Oh, we got a hotel.

01:53:00.720 It had a Capulco.

01:53:03.160 Yeah.

01:53:03.560 Is it fun if you're fat and you hug somebody else that's fat?

01:53:07.260 Is it all, it must be awesome.

01:53:09.440 Oh yeah.

01:53:10.520 There's a lot of cushion.

01:53:13.040 That's cool, man.

01:53:13.940 Plus it's nice to have another fat person who loves you because you know, everyone's so

01:53:18.920 mean to fat people.

01:53:20.060 Yeah.

01:53:20.340 And here we were like two big fat people telling each other that, oh, you look so great.

01:53:26.080 And you know, we, we were complimentary to each other for the most part with some dark

01:53:32.660 shit going in.

01:53:33.720 We beat the fuck out of each other, you know, which was fun.

01:53:38.440 But, uh, yeah, I mean, look at first, well, yeah, especially when you're from all types

01:53:43.940 of environments, somebody's got to get beaten every now and then.

01:53:46.180 When I got to hit him, it was fun.

01:53:48.000 Oh yeah.

01:53:48.560 But if he hit me back, it wasn't fun, you know, but anyways, uh, there was a lot of

01:53:55.760 ugliness to it.

01:53:56.580 But anyway, so there we were down there and, uh, I'm in the pool and, um, I look up and

01:54:03.320 it's ringed by photographers all the way around our room.

01:54:06.460 But the best part is we were in our room.

01:54:09.560 We had to order room service and the front desk called and he answered the phone and

01:54:14.940 they said, this is the front desk and your neighbors are complaining that you're eating

01:54:21.740 too loud.

01:54:24.240 We ordered about 700 main dishes in there.

01:54:28.660 We were just eating up a storm, clanking dishes and the neighbors complained and he was on the

01:54:36.020 phone.

01:54:36.240 I remember him going, eating too loud.

01:54:39.120 Yeah.

01:54:39.560 Your neighbors can hear you eating.

01:54:42.780 Then we went out in the pool and it was ringed by, uh, paparazzis.

01:54:47.440 Oh, so they always interfered and ruined everything, but it was fun.

01:54:53.760 The eating a bunch and swimming with no paparazzis was really fun honeymoon till they showed up.

01:54:59.700 And then I found out he told them where we were going to be, you know, he just really,

01:55:04.920 um, whatever.

01:55:06.280 Couldn't get out of his own way maybe.

01:55:07.960 Yeah.

01:55:08.380 He couldn't get out of his own way.

01:55:10.380 I hear he's out of his own way now.

01:55:12.220 I hope that's true.

01:55:13.660 We don't talk no more, but anyways, then my third husband, Ben, his name is, I have a

01:55:21.560 little kid with him, Buck.

01:55:22.820 He's 27.

01:55:24.180 He's just like his dad.

01:55:26.280 Yeah.

01:55:27.340 Where'd we go on a honeymoon?

01:55:28.860 Oh, we didn't go on a honeymoon because I was pregnant.

01:55:31.580 We, uh, we, uh, yeah, we just stayed home, I guess.

01:55:37.920 Uh, no, I guess I, I never really, except for that Mexico one, never did a real, real

01:55:43.880 anything you're supposed to do kind of deal.

01:55:47.720 I'd love to go on a honeymoon with no husband.

01:55:50.540 I'll tell you why that'd be a great deal.

01:55:52.660 Just go by myself, you know, by myself with a couple, you know, uh, bodyguards or what

01:55:59.680 have you, securities, do whatever the hell I want, pamper myself, look at art.

01:56:05.680 I did have a three month vacation and I, I saved up all my money, you know, when I, uh,

01:56:12.280 got a divorce off Tom Arnold.

01:56:13.860 I did go to, uh, Europe for three months by myself.

01:56:18.160 Oh, that's nice.

01:56:18.940 It was so nice.

01:56:20.240 And I went and looked at art and traveled all over, ate everything I could get my hands

01:56:24.660 on.

01:56:25.260 That was like my own honeymoon.

01:56:27.180 Yeah.

01:56:27.520 A divorce celebration.

01:56:28.780 That was fun.

01:56:30.300 And you lived in Hawaii for a long time, which is kind of like 15 years.

01:56:33.300 I've lived there, maybe 18 years now.

01:56:35.800 And I still live there part time there in, in Texas here.

01:56:40.160 Hawaii is like a honeymoon every day.

01:56:41.880 Oh, it's gorgeous.

01:56:42.960 I just got back from Maui like last week.

01:56:44.720 I hate Maui.

01:56:46.100 Yeah.

01:56:47.000 That's where everybody goes.

01:56:48.340 Yeah.

01:56:48.940 It's crowded.

01:56:50.380 If, yeah, I could imagine if, yeah, if you're like a, if you know more about Hawaii, I can

01:56:54.060 imagine it's crowded.

01:56:54.800 It's, it's, yeah, I went, it, I guess it is a lot of folks over there.

01:56:59.320 It takes too long to drive everywhere and stuff.

01:57:01.400 I hate the traffic.

01:57:02.760 My Island is the big Island and it's got the least amount of people and the most amount

01:57:07.640 of land.

01:57:08.760 So how you can drive drunk and all fucked up.

01:57:11.300 No, I'm kidding.

01:57:12.300 Yeah.

01:57:12.580 But, uh, nobody's around nobody and it's beautiful and quiet, you know, it's wonderful.

01:57:18.680 Oh, that's what I, that's the one reason I go there on my vacation was, um, because it

01:57:23.440 goes to, people go to bed early there.

01:57:25.440 Like at nine o'clock I'm in, I am going, I'm a sleeper.

01:57:29.380 Do you sleep good there?

01:57:30.700 Pretty good.

01:57:31.660 Yeah.

01:57:32.780 It's one thing about Hawaii.

01:57:34.320 Everybody sleeps good there.

01:57:36.140 And the best part is I wake up in the middle of the night and it's only 1130.

01:57:39.580 Yeah, I do that still.

01:57:41.240 And you're like, this is awesome.

01:57:43.040 Get up and eat another meal.

01:57:44.620 Yeah, dude, I will have a little fucking smoothie sometimes, you know, I don't tell anybody.

01:57:48.820 I mean, it's just me anyway, but I still don't, I don't even tell myself.

01:57:51.420 I'll just kind of have it and pretend I don't.

01:57:53.080 You should come over and visit me on the big Island.

01:57:55.480 Dude, I'd love to do that.

01:57:56.740 Come, let me know.

01:57:58.120 And if I'm there, you'll come over and I'll show you all my nut trees and my sheeps and

01:58:03.020 goats and all the run with pigs, but I got a beautiful place.

01:58:07.620 Good for you.

01:58:08.300 That was a great choice.

01:58:10.060 What caused you to make that choice to move there to get there?

01:58:12.680 Well, my younger son, now that he's 27, I can say he, he couldn't get along in school.

01:58:17.840 I homeschooled him and all stuff, which I'm going to talk about on my podcast.

01:58:21.880 I think people should pull their kids out of school and homeschool them.

01:58:25.240 So I did that for a few years and then he went back to high school and they had a high

01:58:29.900 school there for kids with learning disabilities.

01:58:32.580 And so that's why we moved there.

01:58:34.360 Oh, nice.

01:58:34.920 For high school.

01:58:36.320 Yeah.

01:58:36.840 A lot of Filipinos over there.

01:58:40.420 I love Filipino food.

01:58:41.840 Filipinos are awesome.

01:58:42.560 Oh my God.

01:58:43.400 I love their food.

01:58:44.360 The people are awesome.

01:58:45.440 They are amazing people.

01:58:48.820 They're all like Winnie the Poohs kind of a little bit.

01:58:50.940 They have like a little bit of joy in them.

01:58:52.780 They do have joy in them and they love their families.

01:58:55.540 Yeah.

01:58:55.700 And they, uh, they're, I just love their food.

01:58:59.020 They're always laughing and happy and, you know, even in, in tough times they're, they

01:59:04.160 pull together and they're, they're Jewish.

01:59:06.080 I always say they're so Jewish.

01:59:08.700 Yeah.

01:59:08.740 Is that a, is that a lot of Jewish stuff?

01:59:10.680 Well, they're just like Jews is that they're just so family, you know?

01:59:15.300 Yeah.

01:59:15.520 Jews are familyed up.

01:59:16.420 Yeah.

01:59:16.860 We're familyed up.

01:59:18.400 That's interesting.

01:59:19.620 Yeah.

01:59:20.000 We hate each other, but we still stick together.

01:59:22.820 Yeah.

01:59:23.300 Dude.

01:59:23.500 What, uh, I love, I love talking about like Brian Dorfman and some of the other,

01:59:27.620 um, he and I love telling Jewish jokes to each other.

01:59:31.740 I love Jewish jokes.

01:59:33.040 Oh, dude.

01:59:33.320 I'm trying to write some now.

01:59:34.760 I got to hold the dice.

01:59:36.800 Cause I said, you got to help me write some Jewish jokes.

01:59:39.460 Cause I'm from Salt Lake city.

01:59:40.760 So I, I wasn't even raised in a Jewish culture beyond my own family and my own family is so

01:59:46.580 weird that there's no way to find anything in common with other Jewish people.

01:59:51.000 Like my family thought it was okay to marry your cousins and relatives and stuff like that.

01:59:55.520 And probably from where you're from, that's okay too.

01:59:58.260 Right.

01:59:58.640 A little more normal.

01:59:59.180 Yeah.

01:59:59.300 It's not insane.

02:00:00.340 Yeah.

02:00:01.280 But like the first thing when my mom said, she fixed me over the Jewish guy, my first

02:00:05.140 question.

02:00:05.700 And I thought this might be odd.

02:00:08.120 And I've asked it on stage.

02:00:09.580 I said, it's, are we related to him?

02:00:12.160 That was my first question.

02:00:13.860 So I don't know if other people, but there's incest in the Jewish community too, right?

02:00:17.860 Oh, everyone's my, everyone's married to their cousin in my family.

02:00:21.640 See, that's the interesting thing.

02:00:22.840 That's why, that's one thing that's interesting about kind of like Southern culture and Jewish

02:00:26.400 culture is that incest thing.

02:00:28.860 Yeah.

02:00:29.160 It's very interesting and very odd.

02:00:31.740 Yeah.

02:00:32.080 It's kind of crazy.

02:00:32.960 My mom, she had a boyfriend and she goes, his name was Arnie Leibovitz, who I loved.

02:00:38.940 He passed on.

02:00:40.000 He was his last words.

02:00:41.420 I was there for his death and his last words are the greatest last words anyone's ever

02:00:45.320 said.

02:00:46.060 He turned around and he goes, whose idea was this?

02:00:51.100 Isn't that great?

02:00:52.260 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:53.120 He was 92.

02:00:54.160 Whose idea was this?

02:00:57.360 But my mom said, we found out that we're from the same village in Lithuania and we might

02:01:04.300 even be related.

02:01:05.660 And she was all happy about it.

02:01:08.700 Meanwhile, you're over there with three eyes.

02:01:10.820 I'm like, mom, it's not, that's not in the modern world.

02:01:15.080 That's not, you know, most people, that's a no, no.

02:01:17.900 Yeah.

02:01:19.600 Yeah.

02:01:19.960 People frown upon that, but there's something also that's-

02:01:22.760 Well, for small villages and stuff.

02:01:24.560 You don't have a choice.

02:01:25.380 Yeah.

02:01:26.300 Your second cousin is better than your first cousin.

02:01:28.780 Oh, yeah.

02:01:29.000 Well, second cousin is legal in a lot of states.

02:01:30.980 Yeah.

02:01:31.260 You know, first cousin and they really, some people don't see it the way other people see

02:01:37.700 it.

02:01:37.820 I think that's a lot of why Jews are fucked up, because they're so intermarried.

02:01:42.240 I could easily see that.

02:01:43.160 When I grew up, I was like, I can't wait to get out of here.

02:01:45.540 I'm going to marry every fucking Gentile I meet and have kids with them.

02:01:48.900 I'm going to improve the gene pool here.

02:01:51.320 Because we have enough accountants and shit.

02:01:53.700 Yeah.

02:01:53.980 We got to have something else.

02:01:55.660 Yeah.

02:01:55.840 Something new, huh?

02:01:57.280 Yeah.

02:01:57.620 Something newish.

02:01:58.320 Yeah.

02:01:59.060 I have a lot of friends that are married in Jewish and Christian, like they're like Judeo-Christian

02:02:04.540 homes.

02:02:06.760 And they have some really awesome families I find a lot of times.

02:02:09.540 It's just what I've seen, you know?

02:02:11.800 But having some good mix of things is interesting.

02:02:16.100 It is.

02:02:16.600 And the world's going that way.

02:02:18.120 Oh, we're all going to be beige in a couple of years.

02:02:20.380 We're all beige now.

02:02:21.300 Everybody's all mixed pretty much.

02:02:23.400 I mean, that's the way it's going.

02:02:24.140 Oh, you can't even use a racial slur anymore and get it to land accurately.

02:02:27.040 No, you can't.

02:02:28.160 Like I used to have a thing about these Arabs and they're, and I mixed them all up, like

02:02:33.280 I'd say bean-eating Arabs or something like that to mix it all up.

02:02:39.320 Because we're all mixed.

02:02:40.840 Oh, it's crazy.

02:02:41.440 Just a few of us.

02:02:42.740 Oh, you have to have a chart to be racist now.

02:02:44.780 You have to have a, you got to carry the one, you know what I'm saying?

02:02:48.440 It's like you got to use a decimal.

02:02:49.980 I just hate everyone equally.

02:02:51.760 Oh, dude.

02:02:52.980 I get it.

02:02:53.720 When I'm, a lot of times I'll just do all the racials just to get them out of my system.

02:02:57.980 Yeah.

02:02:58.200 Especially when you're driving.

02:02:59.640 Oh, it's fun.

02:02:59.900 That's where it's time for racism.

02:03:01.400 Oh, it's fun.

02:03:01.960 Dude, it is fucking.

02:03:03.740 Oh, I swear.

02:03:05.020 Sometimes it makes my car go a little bit faster.

02:03:07.120 It does.

02:03:07.660 It improves your gas mileage.

02:03:09.720 For sure.

02:03:11.080 It helps.

02:03:12.100 There's something about that.

02:03:12.760 My sister's completely racist on Asian drivers because she lives up in San Francisco.

02:03:18.320 Oh, I can't imagine.

02:03:19.660 Yeah.

02:03:20.080 So she's all that.

02:03:21.060 Oh, they're always in a white minivan.

02:03:23.180 She always goes off.

02:03:26.120 Well, that's another thing we started missing.

02:03:28.040 You used to be able to laugh at like, you used to trust a comedian enough.

02:03:32.120 Yeah.

02:03:32.560 That you knew, that they knew what was going on.

02:03:36.840 They were making humor.

02:03:38.820 Yeah.

02:03:39.340 Now they've pitted an odd, they've pitted people against comedians in a way that they're like,

02:03:45.640 oh, the comedian's just saying something to be mean.

02:03:48.920 Yeah, but it always used to bring it around to where, hey, we all laughed at each other

02:03:52.540 and ourselves and now we can love each other.

02:03:55.340 Remember Don Rickles?

02:03:56.620 They would kill him now.

02:03:58.440 And Lisa, oh, I can't remember her name.

02:04:00.500 Rampanelli?

02:04:00.860 Yeah.

02:04:01.380 Remember hers?

02:04:02.140 It was so great because everybody was laughing at everybody and themselves.

02:04:07.060 That's a healing thing.

02:04:08.640 Yeah.

02:04:09.580 Well, she, a lot of people accused her, I think, of like a cultural appropriate, like

02:04:12.600 she was like thicker, I think, you know, she lost a lot of weight.

02:04:15.720 Yeah.

02:04:16.020 And I think there were like black women, like thicker black women or something accused

02:04:18.920 her of like trying to take her body style or something, I remember.

02:04:22.900 Like there's so much weird stuff out there.

02:04:25.440 Everybody just hates each other.

02:04:26.940 And that's why I say in my act, that's our only hope is our hatred for each other.

02:04:33.220 When we harness that and get square behind it and realize we, all that hate that we have

02:04:40.980 for each other, if we would just channel that to the hatred of the people at the top and

02:04:46.380 not each other, because it's not each other we hate, we're both scrambling for beans.

02:04:50.660 Come on, people, hate, focus your hate at the top.

02:04:54.680 All that hate you have for your black neighbor or your Mexican neighbor, just congeal it.

02:05:00.240 Or your white neighbor.

02:05:01.780 Congeal it and focus it upward and we're going to have Valhalla.

02:05:06.340 That's true.

02:05:07.040 That's what we need.

02:05:08.140 We do need an uprising of people.

02:05:09.560 We need an uprising of people to fucking stand up for themselves and stand up for their families

02:05:14.040 and stand up for what they really feel inside of themselves means something.

02:05:18.300 Yeah, you want your kids to be able to go out and you don't want to worry about other

02:05:22.120 people's kids hurting them.

02:05:24.360 People want to live in safety and they want to have decent communities with decent jobs

02:05:30.060 and decent medical care.

02:05:31.240 What's so fucking hard about that?

02:05:33.640 You don't need two parties blaming each other.

02:05:36.780 You know, it's just gridlock on purpose so they never have to fix nothing.

02:05:40.620 But we could fix it.

02:05:41.900 We could fix it.

02:05:42.500 If the American people would just reach across that cultural or that racial line and get with

02:05:47.420 each other, we could get what we need and what we want.

02:05:50.720 We could.

02:05:51.660 But as long as they're dividing us and conquering us, we ain't going to do it.

02:05:55.300 So let's use, let's start telling racial jokes again.

02:05:58.920 Amen.

02:05:59.440 Right?

02:05:59.840 I'm working on it.

02:06:01.080 I am too, but I'm already a racist.

02:06:03.580 They've already labeled me that.

02:06:04.900 So I'm like, well, since I'm there, let me tell you what really bugs me.

02:06:08.780 Let me tell you what really pisses me off.

02:06:11.260 People love that shit too, man.

02:06:13.120 Like, uh, I have black friends that love, like, as long as you are respectful and smart

02:06:19.040 about stuff and you're not just being mean.

02:06:21.500 Yeah.

02:06:21.660 They can tell if you've been around black people.

02:06:23.880 Oh yeah.

02:06:24.260 That's the first thing too, man.

02:06:26.420 Um, when I, I have a, uh, you know, I call him my son, but he's black, you know?

02:06:33.240 Oh yeah.

02:06:33.460 I met him.

02:06:33.820 What is his name again?

02:06:34.620 EJ.

02:06:35.140 EJ.

02:06:35.640 Yeah.

02:06:35.800 I met him.

02:06:36.240 The same age as Buck and they kind of got raised together cause I'm good friends with

02:06:40.140 his parents and we're tight.

02:06:42.980 And, um, uh, you know, when they call me a racist, I, I was most worried about him because,

02:06:49.960 you know, he had to go with that in his community and hear it about me, you know, and I'm, I was

02:06:59.460 so sorry for him.

02:07:00.620 Um, and, uh, so we talked about it, you know, and I said, I can't remember what I said to

02:07:07.140 him, but he said to me, Oh, everybody knows the crazy shit you say, you know, that's what

02:07:13.140 that was his, you know, comforting me.

02:07:15.960 Everybody knows all the crazy shit you say.

02:07:18.120 You'll, you'll find your way out of it.

02:07:21.200 But, um, that's where that had to make you feel pretty good then just to have some support.

02:07:25.800 Everybody who called me was black.

02:07:27.660 Like it was funny and I go, why can you say that in public?

02:07:31.100 Hell no.

02:07:32.880 Hell no.

02:07:33.760 I know.

02:07:34.920 We need more black people need to speak up in some ways more.

02:07:37.720 I think, you know,

02:07:38.360 Well, Monique did.

02:07:39.420 Monique woke up for me to black people, which I just, um, that was brave of her.

02:07:47.480 And I always have her back to, we were like sisters in comedy, you know, but, uh, yeah,

02:07:54.640 uh, more people got to be sisters and brothers in something across racial lines here in America

02:07:59.760 before, you know, they're just going to take us all away one at a time.

02:08:03.400 Yeah.

02:08:03.960 That's what they're, that's what they want to do.

02:08:05.640 It's like, they don't like black people.

02:08:07.940 They don't like gay people.

02:08:09.720 Let's, let's be real about the people at the top.

02:08:12.220 They don't like none of us.

02:08:13.680 It's just that they're using people and pretend they're on your side.

02:08:17.360 They're not.

02:08:18.360 No, they don't have a care.

02:08:19.560 They don't have a dog in the fight besides like a bottom line, like Pelosi's district

02:08:25.100 where she's talking about Trump's a racist and all this shit.

02:08:28.600 Uh, my son went to school in San Fran.

02:08:30.880 It's all black people on the streets.

02:08:33.240 That's who lost their homes in the, uh, in the Obama bubble of 08.

02:08:38.060 It was the black working in middle class.

02:08:41.200 And then they're calling Trump a racist when they have institutionalized racism with, by

02:08:45.800 this bubble they invented and these fake mortgages that they gave people.

02:08:50.500 They did that on purpose.

02:08:52.140 That's institutionalized, you know, and then they're going to, you know, further try to

02:08:57.640 fuck with people and get them to hate on each other and fight.

02:09:01.860 So they don't have to do it.

02:09:04.200 No, we have to figure it out.

02:09:05.700 People need to figure it out.

02:09:06.620 They need to figure it out and teach their children.

02:09:08.660 They need to, I think people are though.

02:09:11.020 I think people want to, you know, all they got to do.

02:09:14.300 All they got to do is no, it's not a race war.

02:09:17.920 It's a class war.

02:09:19.100 Everything is a class war.

02:09:20.880 The people with the money are, uh, you know, uh, putting their wagons in a circle and stealing

02:09:26.720 everything that ain't locked down, taking the public money and putting it into private pockets.

02:09:31.280 That's a class war.

02:09:32.720 Oh, a hundred percent.

02:09:33.720 And that's all there is.

02:09:35.520 That's all there is until we go, Hey, you can't have our money anymore.

02:09:40.500 Yeah.

02:09:40.960 It's like time for another declaration of independence about this oppressive government.

02:09:45.620 That's no different from the government of King George that we broke away from years

02:09:49.320 ago.

02:09:50.000 What's why I'm so amazed when I see anybody that's speaking against the status quo of

02:09:55.260 whatever the status quo is supposed to be for their, uh, gender, ethnicity, creed, whatever

02:10:02.800 it's, but when you see someone that's kind of speak, trying to find a way against that,

02:10:07.180 um, those are the people that you have to look at and see, well, what are they saying?

02:10:11.800 You know, like it doesn't mean they're right, but they're not, their perspective is at least

02:10:16.320 enough to be able to see a broader picture, you know, sometimes, but not, you got to look

02:10:22.040 at like in America with this class war and how they disguise it.

02:10:26.820 Oh, like all, all the leaders, the only ways they can get ahead is by betraying their own

02:10:31.540 people and they're get rewarded for it.

02:10:33.880 Like, you know, uh, black leaders to, uh, you know, use their own people for their self,

02:10:39.400 uh, enrichment, just like our Congress does for themselves.

02:10:44.400 It's us against you and Jewish leaders, uh, promoting anti-Jewish ideas on campus and stuff.

02:10:54.160 Um, people betraying their own people to be leaders of their own people and getting rich

02:11:01.840 for it.

02:11:02.400 That's how it works.

02:11:03.940 Yeah.

02:11:04.580 You're not going to see nobody that goes, uh, you need to fix Chicago right now, Mr. Mayor.

02:11:14.680 You need to allocate these funds to updo these black people's homes, communities and schools

02:11:20.460 and roads and hospitals.

02:11:22.560 You won't see them doing that in Marxist Chicago.

02:11:26.300 That's the last thing Marxists ever do is address any problem.

02:11:30.020 It's all a yank.

02:11:31.180 All they want there in Chicago is to get at the retirement funds of the working class and

02:11:36.440 they are ripping them blind and they're going for social security next to blame it on Republicans,

02:11:42.240 but they all both blame each other and they're both fist in the money.

02:11:46.400 Yeah.

02:11:46.540 And we're just nothing but pray, particularly working people is nothing but pray.

02:11:52.000 Right.

02:11:52.160 Well, a lot of times if you're a working person, you're just in the distance.

02:11:54.380 You don't even have to, like, you're just trying to survive and get by, you know?

02:11:58.200 And where's your representation in Congress?

02:12:01.300 Nobody, nobody.

02:12:03.380 They're giving your money to the Ukraine.

02:12:05.340 They're, they're not talking about the working people or nothing.

02:12:08.380 I just, I'm amazed that like in a place like Chicago where there's like, you know, there's

02:12:12.300 a lot of crime in some specific areas and some areas of Chicago are great.

02:12:15.360 You don't want to give the whole city a bad rap.

02:12:17.320 No, I'm just talking about the inner city where people are suffering like it's Syria.

02:12:22.120 It's worse than Syria.

02:12:22.500 New Orleans is the same way.

02:12:23.360 New Orleans is one of the most dangerous cities in the world.

02:12:26.680 It was just like one of the 30 most dangerous cities in the world, I believe.

02:12:30.900 Can you look that up, Zach, too, just so I'm right on that or wrong on that?

02:12:34.960 And I grew up, I wasn't, it was always a little edgy, but it's like you have, you know,

02:12:40.540 and a lot of you have a lot of like impoverished black people killing each other.

02:12:43.820 And it's sad and it's weird if I say that, that people are like, oh, he says that because

02:12:49.000 he's against black people.

02:12:50.340 I had two of my good friends growing up that were black that both died, right?

02:12:54.460 That got killed by other young black man.

02:12:57.780 And it's fucking like crazy.

02:13:00.360 Like, I don't know how to help stop that.

02:13:03.500 Like, I don't know.

02:13:04.880 I don't think enough about black culture as to why they do, why that's even going on.

02:13:09.000 But it's like, I wish there were more insight from like black leaders and stuff.

02:13:13.520 I don't know.

02:13:14.480 I don't know.

02:13:14.940 That shit just makes me really sad.

02:13:16.460 They don't address it because it's going the way the owners want it to go.

02:13:21.080 Yeah.

02:13:22.080 It feels like people address something enough to get what they need out of it.

02:13:25.780 That's exactly right.

02:13:27.100 They aren't concerned.

02:13:28.980 I mean, they're just taking the buy-offs.

02:13:30.780 And it's so funny.

02:13:32.300 It's like some people say, well, you can't really get in any power here unless you're

02:13:36.960 blackmailed and they know you're going to do what they want you to do.

02:13:40.820 I know.

02:13:40.860 It's a dark arts, dude.

02:13:42.140 Yeah.

02:13:42.540 I think that that's true.

02:13:44.260 You don't get in any office by getting elected.

02:13:49.800 You get selected by your donors.

02:13:52.580 And, you know, they do what they have to do to put you in there to make them richer.

02:13:57.040 And you bullshit the public so they'll be pacified.

02:14:00.720 But the public doesn't even care that they don't or seemingly doesn't care or is too

02:14:06.000 afraid to go, you're not representing the people who sent you there.

02:14:11.700 Because I know when I was in Hawaii, Soros was pouring money into Hawaii for Monsanto.

02:14:19.840 Oh, yeah.

02:14:20.500 We used to use it.

02:14:21.680 Yeah.

02:14:22.040 Everyone used Roundup.

02:14:23.900 Oh, God.

02:14:24.740 We'd use it.

02:14:25.520 Yeah.

02:14:26.020 Fuck, we'd spray each other with it.

02:14:27.460 I remember we hit my sister with a fucking hot batch of it.

02:14:31.860 But, I mean, that's who owns the government.

02:14:34.540 And she's in recovery.

02:14:35.420 She's, I don't even know.

02:14:36.160 I mean, I don't know if she'll ever recover from that, but she's in recovery for other stuff.

02:14:39.640 But, you know, yeah.

02:14:40.360 Yeah.

02:14:40.640 Oh, then you start to see, yeah, these bigger groups are starting to like.

02:14:43.540 He made, he, I said, by God, what he's doing, he's outlawing local government so that

02:14:49.080 they are more beholden to international corporations and the county they live in.

02:14:56.080 Oh, it's crazy.

02:14:56.840 Well, it's the same with like that, with Dope Sick, that TV show with the pill opioid epidemic.

02:15:01.980 It was like, you know, you have like these big pharmaceutical companies that people leave

02:15:08.980 there and then go to work in the FDA, right?

02:15:11.340 It's just like, so there's just so much, I don't know.

02:15:15.620 I think in the end, it's like, why do people just want only for themselves?

02:15:19.520 Like, and at a certain point, I can understand you want to survive.

02:15:22.300 You want to get to a level where you're okay.

02:15:24.600 You can feed yourself.

02:15:26.120 But then sometimes there's this other level of greed that I guess I just don't, I don't

02:15:31.220 understand.

02:15:32.660 I don't understand how you could want to be so greedy at a level where other people aren't

02:15:38.340 even having a, you know, that some effect you're causing or a part of causing is limiting

02:15:46.700 people's ability to even have a life with some peace and excitement in it and real hope,

02:15:54.100 you know?

02:15:55.020 I know.

02:15:55.720 That's what I say.

02:15:56.400 You worry about other people's kids when your kids go out.

02:15:59.480 That has to be part of your circle of concern too.

02:16:04.240 If you want your kids to truly be safe.

02:16:06.500 Yeah.

02:16:06.720 Yeah, and it used to be different.

02:16:08.840 I don't know.

02:16:09.000 It used to feel different.

02:16:09.860 I don't know if I romanticize the past sometimes too, but.

02:16:14.380 We all do.

02:16:15.500 Yeah.

02:16:16.120 But, you know, there's two, like the human beings, we have a desire to receive, you know,

02:16:22.740 that's a part of our ego and our makeup and everything.

02:16:26.200 And, you know, we want that gratified, of course.

02:16:28.700 But there's another thing is like the desire to receive in order to share, which is a way

02:16:38.020 better way to deal with that selfish thing that we have.

02:16:43.400 Joe's.

02:16:44.820 I don't know.

02:16:46.180 Probably the spirit of whom.

02:16:47.760 Probably, probably smelled my breath after smoking all that.

02:16:53.500 No, I think, yeah.

02:16:54.540 You know, the desire to receive something, be able to share.

02:16:57.540 Yeah.

02:16:57.760 That feels so much better than anything else on earth.

02:17:01.860 That is one thing I learned by getting rich because I was really poor, you know.

02:17:06.540 And then when I got really rich, it was such a turn on to help people.

02:17:10.880 I can't tell you, it was when, and it was, it was just better than anything.

02:17:21.360 It's the kind of thing that.

02:17:24.520 It was like a moment that stood out to you where just, you were able to be like just part

02:17:29.500 of the conduit of help, you know, because that's all money is like energy kind of, you

02:17:32.340 know.

02:17:32.720 Yeah.

02:17:33.200 Well, there were, there was a few of them, but the biggest thrills I ever got for my

02:17:38.060 own pleasures, as I tell people who know me as, uh, coming up with lawsuits.

02:17:45.740 Oh God, I loved it.

02:17:47.260 Yeah.

02:17:47.820 And then bankrolling them, you know, and then winning them.

02:17:52.180 That, that was something that was great about having money.

02:17:55.860 Like, what does it mean?

02:17:56.540 Like thinking up a way to sue somebody?

02:17:58.720 Yeah.

02:17:59.060 I sued the government.

02:17:59.820 Uh, yeah.

02:18:02.340 To sue the government or some nefarious bunch.

02:18:05.160 I'm sitting there getting all bitter and thinking, thinking, going deep and go, aha.

02:18:11.480 And I did sue, you know, I sued and won against some tabloids and.

02:18:17.180 Oh yeah.

02:18:17.780 That was fun.

02:18:19.000 And then sued Georgia and won and a whole bunch of shit like that, that I thought, well, you

02:18:26.180 know, it's good.

02:18:27.120 Um, I'd still like to continue to sue, sue, sue and pay for lawsuits.

02:18:33.540 Yeah.

02:18:33.860 I love it.

02:18:34.780 You mean like if it fits in a good cause?

02:18:36.740 Yeah.

02:18:37.300 Like I'd love to sue every motherfucker that called me a racist and I keep on waiting for

02:18:42.100 something to happen where, you know, guilty people who broke the law get arrested and

02:18:47.380 when they do, that'll be my proof.

02:18:49.780 Yeah.

02:18:49.900 And then I'm going to sue.

02:18:51.120 So I already got like 10 lawsuits in my head for how I'm going to sue the news, the network,

02:18:58.520 these and that, you know, they all deserve it.

02:19:01.080 They do.

02:19:01.880 And I have any justification.

02:19:03.660 That's one of the things about life that gets tough sometimes.

02:19:05.840 And I think it's a good conversation.

02:19:07.820 I think it's inspiring for people to hear.

02:19:10.840 Um, I think it's inspiring for people to hear that there are people that think like there's

02:19:16.500 some pressures in the world that feel uncomfortable.

02:19:18.560 We don't know exactly what they are sometimes.

02:19:20.880 Right.

02:19:21.600 But we're trying to navigate with our little brains and our perspectives haven't had unique

02:19:27.840 lives that have made us hyper aware sometimes of things.

02:19:31.180 And that's right.

02:19:31.820 And it's been a struggle a lot, but there's some value in it, um, to think, well, what's

02:19:36.860 going on?

02:19:37.960 Why are we starting to feel this way as a society?

02:19:40.600 What things are we seeing?

02:19:41.940 Is it some that I'm just getting older and I have like, you know, I think sometimes I'm

02:19:45.680 just getting older and I'm like starting to become one of those older people, you know,

02:19:49.060 that's like, oh, this is wrong and this is wrong.

02:19:51.500 Or does it seem like there's really other bigger shit that's going on, you know, and

02:19:57.040 just evaluating all that.

02:19:58.940 Well, that's just part of growing, growing older.

02:20:01.320 Yeah.

02:20:01.680 You know, you just settle into like a certain knowing and being able to identify things

02:20:09.120 because you've seen them so many times, you can, you can sense where things are going

02:20:13.700 because they can only go one of about three or four ways, you know, so you, you can sort

02:20:20.200 of see where things are going right at the inception.

02:20:25.100 So you kind of have the desire to go over there and kick it to the left or the right.

02:20:30.060 So it grows straight.

02:20:31.540 Yeah.

02:20:32.020 You get that foresight over time.

02:20:33.760 Yeah.

02:20:34.120 Do you think, um, what's been one of the neatest things about being like a parent and

02:20:39.020 a grandparent that kind of surprised you?

02:20:46.100 Well, being a parent is wonderful when your kids turn out to be good members of society

02:20:56.060 and they have a conscience and they're good people.

02:20:58.760 And then when they're good parents, that's the best part of being a parent is to see

02:21:03.700 your own children become good parents.

02:21:06.080 Cause then, you know, oh, I did a good job, you know, and thank you God for keeping it

02:21:12.440 on the map for me, despite all the shit I did.

02:21:16.980 And, uh, so that's good that, you know, when you're in your last quarter or whatever I'm

02:21:22.600 in, but the grandparent thing, that's just pure fun.

02:21:26.740 You get to be a kid again, you get to do all kinds of fun stuff.

02:21:31.920 Like I live with my son and his, uh, partner and their two-year-old daughter who she looks

02:21:38.160 just like me and she acts just like me.

02:21:41.260 And my son says, what kind of karma is this when you're raising your own mother?

02:21:46.280 But, uh, so teaching her, just hanging out with her as a blast, like she likes to wear

02:21:51.220 lipstick.

02:21:51.680 So we put on lipstick every day and do our hair and stuff like that.

02:21:56.020 And then she likes me a lot and any, anything I do, she wants to do it with me.

02:22:01.440 And, um, she's just learning to talk and stuff.

02:22:03.920 And so she says, let's smoke.

02:22:07.440 Cause she likes to go out on the porch with me while I smoke and cause I let her play in

02:22:11.780 the water.

02:22:12.300 But, you know, that she says, let's smoke is so cool.

02:22:16.560 And, uh, yeah, that's awesome.

02:22:18.180 She's just fun.

02:22:19.400 It's just fun getting to be a kid again.

02:22:21.760 Like I'll chase her around the house and sing stupid songs and, you know, uh, hide and seek

02:22:27.660 and jumping and having fun.

02:22:31.040 Like a kid when, before you had any cares, you get to redo that when you're a grandparent.

02:22:36.340 And that's the most fun, your second or third childhood.

02:22:39.840 In my case, it's probably my fourth.

02:22:41.860 Yeah.

02:22:41.980 But it's so fun, you know, watching cartoons with her and yeah, that's fun.

02:22:48.840 Oh, she loves the turtles, the teenage ninjas, turtles.

02:22:52.720 And, uh, my friend Greg Sipes is the voice of Michael.

02:22:56.140 So I had him call her up and he goes, hi, Livia, this is Michael from the turtles.

02:23:01.640 You do anything your Mimi, she calls me Mimi.

02:23:04.480 You do anything your Mimi says to do because she loves you and she knows what's right.

02:23:09.200 But so I'll see you at whatever he says at the what's it and, uh, hoorah or whatever.

02:23:16.220 Stuff like that's really fun.

02:23:18.160 That's cool.

02:23:18.960 It's so cool.

02:23:19.860 And I get to dress her in her outfits every day and do her hair.

02:23:23.140 She likes fashion and looking pretty and wearing my necklaces and such.

02:23:28.760 It's just fun.

02:23:30.040 Yeah.

02:23:30.260 It seems fun.

02:23:31.100 Seems like I'm three years old too.

02:23:33.360 Yeah.

02:23:34.400 But there's nothing more fun than being a kid and pretending.

02:23:39.220 Yeah.

02:23:39.720 I like, I would suggest that people really start doing that more with their kids and their

02:23:45.060 grandkids, pretending and imagining.

02:23:47.780 I think they're trying to take that away from us and, you know.

02:23:51.700 Well, it's disappearing with technology.

02:23:53.980 Yeah.

02:23:54.400 But that's the most fun thing of being a human.

02:23:56.880 Yeah.

02:23:57.800 You know?

02:23:58.320 Oh, I used to, your imagination, dude.

02:24:01.560 It's where I had any chance at all in the world was my, in my imagination.

02:24:05.080 And look what you did with it.

02:24:06.260 One day these motherfuckers will know, you know, and I would.

02:24:09.860 I can imagine anything.

02:24:12.320 Yeah.

02:24:15.080 I'm going to come back here in a hot air balloon, you know.

02:24:17.860 I used to fucking have these crazy ideas.

02:24:20.000 Yeah.

02:24:20.220 Like Russell Crowe.

02:24:21.440 Today I will imagine to be a ship's captain.

02:24:26.260 It's so fun.

02:24:28.700 When was like, do you remember your first like kiss when you were a child?

02:24:32.320 Oh, Christ.

02:24:33.360 My first kiss.

02:24:35.480 When I was a child.

02:24:36.880 Or when you was a.

02:24:38.380 Teenager.

02:24:39.080 Teenager, you know.

02:24:39.820 Did y'all have a dance or anything at school?

02:24:41.960 Oh, I was such a reject and nerd.

02:24:45.000 I just, nobody liked me.

02:24:47.700 It's like, God, she's weird chewing on her hair over there.

02:24:51.420 But my first kiss.

02:24:54.160 I think I was 16.

02:24:56.040 Yeah.

02:24:56.400 I can't remember who I did it with.

02:25:00.160 Who'd I do it with?

02:25:04.520 I should remember that, but I don't.

02:25:07.440 Oh, yeah.

02:25:08.260 I do remember.

02:25:09.520 No, that wasn't him.

02:25:11.860 I don't know.

02:25:12.300 Some Joe.

02:25:13.720 Yeah.

02:25:14.120 I don't want any good.

02:25:16.000 It was all disappointment.

02:25:17.300 All my sexual lives for the most part were fucking disappointment.

02:25:21.880 Mine's kind of been like that a little.

02:25:23.260 Yeah.

02:25:24.000 Yeah.

02:25:24.260 It's never like all that buildup.

02:25:26.100 No.

02:25:27.560 It was like you wanted me to go, you, you are ravishing.

02:25:30.640 The most ravishing woman I've ever seen in my life.

02:25:34.000 Yeah.

02:25:34.400 That almost happened to me one time in Paris, I have to say.

02:25:37.620 I regret that.

02:25:38.880 You met a romantic man?

02:25:40.600 Yeah.

02:25:41.060 This guy just came up to me out of nowhere.

02:25:43.360 And I looked really funky, too.

02:25:45.800 I had like about 100 sparkly barrettes in my hair.

02:25:50.200 Yeah.

02:25:51.120 What was I in my 40s?

02:25:53.380 I looked good, though, because I had done my hair in these weird, I was in a weird artistic

02:25:58.020 thing.

02:25:58.780 And this guy came up and he said, will you go and have coffee with me?

02:26:03.160 And I was with my girlfriend.

02:26:04.720 I'm like, no.

02:26:05.480 And he goes, please, I'd really love to take you for coffee.

02:26:09.680 And I'm just like, what?

02:26:11.300 He's trying to get money off me.

02:26:14.400 He goes, I've, I just, I'm just going to say it.

02:26:18.480 You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.

02:26:22.080 Well, nobody ever said that to me.

02:26:24.480 So I'm like, tell me more.

02:26:27.500 And he goes, and you look fascinating.

02:26:30.360 I love how you've done your hair, blah, blah.

02:26:32.780 I go, oh, sorry, I'm married.

02:26:35.200 He goes, really?

02:26:36.640 And I'm like, well, maybe not.

02:26:39.580 But then I decided I better stay true to my fucking stupid ass spouse.

02:26:46.000 Yeah.

02:26:46.540 I regret that.

02:26:47.580 That guy, I don't know.

02:26:49.680 He was pretty cute.

02:26:50.860 Was he?

02:26:51.560 Yeah, he was European, you know?

02:26:53.600 Yeah.

02:26:54.300 I might have been living in Europe by now.

02:26:56.260 He probably would have kicked me out the next day and go, you old bitch.

02:26:59.560 The first time I snapped on him.

02:27:03.360 Yeah.

02:27:03.880 Or who knows?

02:27:04.520 You guys may have been, you guys could be lying in a field in Nice right now,

02:27:08.340 eating grapes and reading Les Miserables together.

02:27:12.520 I don't like that book so much.

02:27:14.160 You know what my favorite book is?

02:27:16.060 Tale of Two Cities.

02:27:17.440 I've read that like 10 times.

02:27:18.860 Was it J.D. Salinger?

02:27:20.300 No.

02:27:20.860 J.D. Salinger is Franny and Zoe and Catcher in the Rye, which I've also read 10 times.

02:27:29.880 But no.

02:27:30.460 Oh, my God.

02:27:31.320 I can't.

02:27:31.860 Charles Dickens.

02:27:33.160 Old Chuckie Dickie, huh?

02:27:35.220 Yeah.

02:27:35.580 But it was an uplifting moment that I'll never forget.

02:27:40.580 I never read that.

02:27:42.200 No.

02:27:42.520 I mean that guy.

02:27:44.000 Oh, that European man?

02:27:45.720 Yeah.

02:27:46.000 Oh, God, dude.

02:27:47.120 I remember a girl one time.

02:27:48.820 How old were you when you kissed somebody?

02:27:50.840 I think I was like, maybe I was 11.

02:27:54.180 Oh.

02:27:54.360 Some people locked us in a closet or something.

02:27:56.360 And they were some angry people.

02:27:59.240 And they kept calling us queer.

02:28:02.840 Like, you f*** F-A-G's better make out.

02:28:06.540 And it was me and a girl.

02:28:07.760 But they were just like, you know, idiots or whatever.

02:28:12.140 You know?

02:28:13.660 Weird.

02:28:14.320 Oh, it was horrible.

02:28:15.240 And I was so nervous.

02:28:16.680 And she had like a chipped tooth pretty bad.

02:28:19.780 And I didn't want to.

02:28:20.680 I thought like, I don't want to get a chipped tooth.

02:28:22.700 And I was like, I don't even know how this works.

02:28:24.460 And it's just so f***ing, you know.

02:28:26.460 You felt pressured to perform.

02:28:28.540 Yeah.

02:28:30.040 Oh, God.

02:28:30.660 Yeah, that's so ugly and horrible.

02:28:31.800 Oh, and then the rest of my life, I felt pressured to perform, dude.

02:28:34.680 I was always taking them gas station wiener pills all the time.

02:28:38.060 Oh, they sell them at the gas station?

02:28:40.000 Yeah.

02:28:40.320 I know I got entangled in one of your soirees there at the comedy store.

02:28:46.940 Oh, yeah.

02:28:47.880 Remember, I got in between them two girls that was both there to see you.

02:28:51.500 You misscheduled something, I think.

02:28:54.820 Who knows what happened, but I was.

02:28:57.120 I do.

02:28:58.100 Okay.

02:28:58.440 I was in there breaking up the fight in the bathroom.

02:29:01.300 I was like, well, obviously, he's made a mistake.

02:29:03.860 So, you know, give each other a break here.

02:29:07.460 Then you went out with the third one.

02:29:09.380 Well, I don't know what happened.

02:29:10.960 I mean, there's a lot of discrepancies in a lot of these stories, but I do remember

02:29:15.060 that night that you came, and you went up, and that was awesome, dude.

02:29:19.640 That was my first time on stage for f***ing a hundred years or something, and I was shit-faced

02:29:24.980 because I was so scared, and I told my son, I will forever love you because you told me

02:29:30.940 afterwards, you go, you might want to lay off on the drinking and your premises need work.

02:29:35.440 I love you for saying that to me.

02:29:38.200 Damn, I cannot believe I said that.

02:29:40.240 Yeah, you did.

02:29:40.980 You said you got a lot of laughs, but, you know, but that was what a comic says to a comic,

02:29:46.020 and I loved it.

02:29:47.720 It was good.

02:29:48.920 Well, we need your voice out there so much.

02:29:51.940 Well, I thank you for that.

02:29:52.920 I wanted to do a show.

02:29:53.660 I remember right after you got canceled, I hit, or whatever, and canceled is only care,

02:29:58.240 the only people that care about it are Hollywood.

02:30:00.160 Human beings, regular American, 95% of people don't give a f*** about that.

02:30:05.360 That's what everybody, some people are still under this old ruse, like, that this trick

02:30:09.400 works, or we have this shell game, but most people aren't even playing it anymore, you

02:30:14.180 know?

02:30:14.380 Like, my friend Morgan Walling got canceled, or whatever, and he's the number one selling

02:30:18.760 artist in the world now.

02:30:19.960 Oh, that's so great to hear.

02:30:21.260 In the world.

02:30:22.500 That's great.

02:30:23.220 Yeah, and it's like, I think it just made him only seem more human, right?

02:30:27.380 He dropped an N-bomb on some white dude that was being a little bitch, right?

02:30:31.880 And, yeah, and so it was like, and everybody loved him now, and not just white people,

02:30:39.860 f***ing black dudes love him, you know?

02:30:41.600 I gotta look him up.

02:30:42.780 I haven't heard of him.

02:30:43.720 He's neat.

02:30:44.540 He's a neat guy.

02:30:45.440 He's interesting.

02:30:46.580 And he's a cool dude.

02:30:47.640 He's an interesting guy.

02:30:48.860 He's smart.

02:30:52.660 But, I don't know what else we were talking about.

02:30:55.980 We've talked about so much.

02:30:57.260 Oh, you said you wanted to do a show with me after I got canceled.

02:31:00.880 And I can't remember if I texted.

02:31:02.080 I can't remember if I texted.

02:31:03.060 There was a guy, maybe your agent or somebody that I was talking to.

02:31:05.540 I don't remember who it was.

02:31:07.500 But, yeah, I was like, that's what I need.

02:31:10.160 I did hear about it, and that made me feel so good.

02:31:12.760 But I thank you for that.

02:31:13.880 That was uplifting for me at the time.

02:31:16.360 Yeah.

02:31:17.080 I think a lot of people, we just need your voice out there.

02:31:19.520 So, I'm glad you're still using your voice.

02:31:21.340 Thank you very much.

02:31:22.540 And I'm glad I am, too.

02:31:25.360 I wondered if I would, because I was like, well, I go back for that shit.

02:31:28.900 But, but once I got on, you know, the stage, it was like, I'm never leaving.

02:31:35.860 In a weird way, are you feeling more empowered in some ways?

02:31:39.880 Like, is it almost like a new, it must be like a new, what do I do now?

02:31:44.980 How do I, what do, how do I best use my voice and have a purpose?

02:31:51.180 I was talking to CK, you know.

02:31:53.040 Mm-hmm.

02:31:53.340 And he called me, he was another kind person to call me.

02:31:57.300 Louie's awesome.

02:31:58.160 He is.

02:31:59.480 And we were talking about it, and we made a deal that we're going to come back.

02:32:07.760 This was like five years ago or something.

02:32:09.760 And we will both come back, and our vow to each other and to comedy was, we owe to come

02:32:17.220 back more offensive than ever before.

02:32:21.020 And not offensive, but braver, more courageous.

02:32:27.420 And I think we are.

02:32:30.100 And that's the only way to fight back.

02:32:32.440 And it's the most fun way, too.

02:32:34.800 Yeah.

02:32:35.100 And so I say, I said this to Tucker and to James O'Keefe, too.

02:32:42.360 I said, at first you'll feel like, you know, I said, you'll look back after the storms passed,

02:32:52.020 and you'll realize that God took you out of Egypt.

02:32:55.400 And you might wander around in the desert for a while, but you will eventually come to the

02:33:00.580 promised land, which is total artistic and creative freedom.

02:33:05.860 And that's where I feel I am now.

02:33:07.520 That's the promised land for all of us.

02:33:09.680 And, you know, I think both of them are going to find that they agree with me, because when

02:33:16.600 that noose is off your neck, you're just cut free, and you've got nothing but freedom,

02:33:21.680 and you've still got a name, and you can come back, and you can be better than you ever

02:33:28.880 were.

02:33:29.180 Of course, you're going to be better after you, you know, whatever don't kill you makes

02:33:33.520 you stronger.

02:33:34.940 So that's what happened to me, and I'm really grateful it did, because at some points, I

02:33:40.940 didn't know if I would, but that's just part of the process of coming out of that dark night

02:33:46.720 of the soul, you know.

02:33:47.920 But we all got to go through it in order to come into the light again, you know.

02:33:53.120 Well, it's the only way a good story is told, is if the person that's on the journey has

02:34:01.220 a setback, you know.

02:34:02.780 Yeah, exactly.

02:34:03.780 There's no fucking, nobody wants a fucking full-time winner.

02:34:06.720 No, the hero always falls in every story.

02:34:10.480 Yeah.

02:34:10.580 The hero has to get back up, and with the strength and determination and support of the few that

02:34:17.480 knew that he was really Superman or whatever.

02:34:20.440 Yeah.

02:34:20.660 You know, fighting for the masses or whatever.

02:34:23.640 It's just, it's a great feeling to go on stage now, and just all the love that's shown to

02:34:29.340 me, it's uplifting.

02:34:31.880 Yeah, and you're here, you have a playground here in Texas, here at this club, where you

02:34:35.060 can figure it out.

02:34:37.660 Yeah.

02:34:38.240 It's nice.

02:34:38.820 And bomb.

02:34:40.020 Yeah.

02:34:40.260 It's so great to be able to bomb sometimes, not have, you know, not have to be, to experiment.

02:34:48.580 That's it.

02:34:51.160 Thank you so much for your time.

02:34:52.780 Thank you.

02:34:53.340 Thank you so much.

02:34:53.580 Yeah, and on behalf of me and my mother and our family for giving us so much joy over the

02:34:58.580 years, this is the interview my mother was most excited about.

02:35:02.340 She asks every week, is there a hand coming?

02:35:04.300 Is there a hand coming?

02:35:05.540 So, thank you.

02:35:06.000 Well, thank your mother for me.

02:35:07.880 Yeah, I will.

02:35:08.440 You brought us a lot of joy over the years, and I think gave us a way to connect, you

02:35:12.440 know, because my mother was just a hard-working lady who was trying to make things okay, you

02:35:16.480 know, and I know she tried her best.

02:35:19.820 Well, you tell her for me that she raised a wonderful son.

02:35:24.800 Thank you.

02:35:25.780 You're very welcome.

02:35:28.800 Roseanne Barr, thank you so much for your time.

02:35:30.520 Thank you so much.

02:35:30.900 Yeah.

02:35:31.660 Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be.

02:35:38.440 Cornerstone.

02:35:39.440 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

02:35:48.280 I can feel it in my bones.

02:35:51.640 But it's gonna take a little bit.

02:35:54.580 Thank you.

02:35:55.560 It's gonna take a little time.

02:35:56.280 Thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 14, 2023

E448 Roseanne

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