This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E450 Tom Segura

00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

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00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:00:17.800 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.

00:00:20.980 Nice! 0.94

00:00:22.140 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

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00:00:28.580 See AirCanada.com.

00:00:30.000 I want to thank Rooster Teeth for allowing us time today here in their studio space

00:00:35.500 out here in Austin, Texas.

00:00:37.540 We are grateful to them, and we are grateful for this space.

00:00:43.700 Today's guest is a comedian with a new special, Sledgehammer, coming out July 4th.

00:00:52.160 He is a podcaster.

00:00:54.260 He is the creator of YMH Studios.

00:00:57.400 He is one of a kind, and we're grateful to have him back today.

00:01:02.500 Mr. Tom Segura.

00:01:04.640 I love you, Sledgehammer.

00:01:12.180 I love you, Sledgehammer.

00:01:14.180 I love you, Sledgehammer.

00:01:17.180 I love you, Sledgehammer.

00:01:29.720 I love you, Sledgehammer.

00:01:39.040 No, I think it's Basquiat.

00:01:42.400 Basquiat?

00:01:43.360 Yeah.

00:01:44.440 Basquiat?

00:01:45.260 What is it?

00:01:45.980 Basquiat.

00:01:46.620 Basquiat?

00:01:47.260 Basquiat.

00:01:47.900 Basquiat.

00:01:48.500 Basquiat?

00:01:49.380 The artist, he overdosed.

00:01:52.100 Oh, no, I didn't know that.

00:01:52.940 All the good ones do heroin, you know?

00:01:55.540 Yeah.

00:01:56.560 Yeah.

00:01:56.900 I didn't know that he had a big collabo with Warhol, two heroin addicts going at it. 1.00

00:02:02.060 They made some cool fucking shit together. 1.00

00:02:03.420 I mean, it looks like drug addicts did it. 1.00

00:02:05.780 Does it?

00:02:06.240 Yeah.

00:02:06.420 Yeah.

00:02:06.740 I never seen a lot of that Warhol stuff.

00:02:09.440 Trying to think of a good artist that I knew growing up.

00:02:14.500 I don't know if we had any art, per se, in our area, really.

00:02:19.980 Yeah.

00:02:20.940 Yeah, no, I didn't.

00:02:21.960 I mean.

00:02:22.580 I don't think we had it.

00:02:23.560 I was exposed to a little bit of it, I feel like, as a kid.

00:02:26.160 And then I had an uncle who was really into it.

00:02:27.900 I think I like it more as I get older.

00:02:29.900 Yeah.

00:02:30.380 Yeah.

00:02:30.620 I mean, I do like going into a place, like, whether it's someone's home or a business.

00:02:35.700 Like, people that have art colors popping, you're like, oh, yeah, this is better than,

00:02:40.540 like, when you're young and everything's just like, like, you have your apartment, it's just white walls.

00:02:45.560 You're like, this is actually, like, oh, that's why I was depressed.

00:02:48.300 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:02:48.860 This shit is sad as fuck. 1.00

00:02:50.840 This is a sad place to be. 1.00

00:02:52.440 And I remember, like, girls coming over to apartments when I was, like, in my early 20s 0.99

00:02:56.900 and them being like, this is a fucking serial killer who lives here, huh? 0.98

00:03:00.560 And you're like, yeah, it's cool, right? 1.00

00:03:01.980 You don't even think about it. 0.99

00:03:03.040 You're like, this is sad as fuck. 0.99

00:03:04.400 You're like, oh, you like that. 0.99

00:03:05.720 You like that Dateline-y vibe?

00:03:07.480 Yeah.

00:03:07.640 Yeah, it is kind of, when you look back, oh, when I look back on some of the things

00:03:10.980 that I considered, I guess, were art or whatever that I would hang on my wall.

00:03:14.640 Oh, dude.

00:03:15.040 I remember I got a jump rope one time and I was so fucking excited and I, like, hung 0.99

00:03:19.160 that bitch all along the wall. 1.00

00:03:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:21.520 And you're like, this is my shit. 1.00

00:03:22.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:23.260 And people are like, is this a rope?

00:03:24.560 Yeah.

00:03:25.360 And people would come in.

00:03:26.460 I'd be like, yeah.

00:03:27.040 No, and then, you know, what really does it, if you go, even if you just walk into the

00:03:31.880 lobby of, like, a nice hotel and you're like, oh, my God, like, where they have, like, the

00:03:36.620 bouquet of flowers.

00:03:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:38.680 And you're like, oh, this snake, this, like, makes everybody feel calm and kind of, like,

00:03:43.860 this, what it makes you go is, like, I want to be here.

00:03:45.840 I want to be in this room.

00:03:46.980 Yes.

00:03:47.520 Colors on the walls.

00:03:48.560 And you're like, oh, this is nice.

00:03:49.560 And then, and then you, all of a sudden, it hits you years later where you're like, oh,

00:03:53.700 I can do a version of that.

00:03:55.200 Yeah.

00:03:55.360 Like, I could paint.

00:03:57.040 Yeah.

00:03:57.180 Yeah.

00:03:57.380 Yeah.

00:03:57.940 Yeah.

00:03:58.300 I could do something to help out.

00:03:59.900 Yeah.

00:04:00.060 I think I always, I've never, one of my friends came in my, my home the other day and he's

00:04:04.660 like, dude, everything that's in here is stuff that was in here when you bought this house. 0.99

00:04:08.300 Like, you just kept the shit. 0.99

00:04:10.280 Oh, there's not. 1.00

00:04:10.940 Yeah.

00:04:11.300 And he's like, dude, your house, it doesn't even seem like you live here.

00:04:14.800 Like, you have to start doing something to make this your home.

00:04:17.660 Can I tell you, I, I, I don't, I, some things in life you just realize that you have

00:04:22.620 to spend the money to do. 0.78

00:04:24.620 And I, I had to, I accepted that I am not a fucking interior designer, but I don't want 0.84

00:04:31.720 the place to look as sad as those early apartments. 0.88

00:04:35.060 Yeah.

00:04:35.380 It is the thing you have to call somebody.

00:04:38.480 You just call them.

00:04:39.200 Yeah.

00:04:39.420 You just call them.

00:04:40.120 And what you do is they go, here's pictures of things.

00:04:43.980 And you go, I like this.

00:04:44.900 I like this.

00:04:45.500 And then they go like, what do you think of this idea?

00:04:47.780 And you're like, yeah.

00:04:48.320 And then they just do it.

00:04:49.720 Wow.

00:04:50.120 And you go, yeah, that's worth it.

00:04:51.420 And it was worth it.

00:04:52.220 Yeah.

00:04:52.380 It's worth it because it's your home.

00:04:54.040 So you're going to walk in there every time and be like, oh, this feels, this feels awesome.

00:04:58.160 And it feels like you, because you want it to be things that you pick, but you realize

00:05:01.720 that you're never going to do that on your own.

00:05:04.780 Yeah. 0.98

00:05:05.200 And I mean, you specifically just said that there's shit in there that was there like 0.98

00:05:10.280 from when you bought it. 0.99

00:05:11.420 Oh yeah.

00:05:11.900 Yeah.

00:05:12.220 I'll pick drawings of the previous family was a black ownership and they, uh, there's 0.99

00:05:17.940 two black.

00:05:18.640 Like, yeah, there's like a thing of like a business. 1.00

00:05:21.700 So you're like, there's a black owned fucking car dealership. 1.00

00:05:24.160 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:24.500 Yeah.

00:05:24.700 It's like a Tulsa, whatever that thing was, but it was, uh, yeah, there's like some, yeah,

00:05:30.520 there's people that I don't know on the walls.

00:05:33.000 Oh really?

00:05:33.360 Yeah.

00:05:33.900 And so you bought this place.

00:05:36.080 Yeah.

00:05:36.700 They had left a few things and you're just like, leave it.

00:05:39.980 Yeah.

00:05:40.360 I just didn't, I just never got a plan.

00:05:42.540 I think I just, I don't know.

00:05:43.660 Yeah.

00:05:43.740 All the furniture, everything that's in there.

00:05:45.300 See the, what I would do, I, all the furniture too.

00:05:48.120 Oh, everything.

00:05:48.920 Beds, everything.

00:05:50.400 Wow.

00:05:50.940 Even awards actually.

00:05:52.240 I guess the man had won a couple of awards.

00:05:54.340 What kind of awards?

00:05:55.520 Uh, first black something or other, you know, so it's like, I feel bad keeping that, you 1.00

00:06:03.120 know, some of them are kind of cool.

00:06:04.600 Some of them are cool.

00:06:05.320 Dude, what you got to do is when you, you have somebody help you, you know, design the

00:06:11.380 place, but in court, like have a few of those like photos or something that are still

00:06:16.060 from when you got it.

00:06:17.600 Uh huh.

00:06:17.880 So it's mixed in.

00:06:18.940 It's all, it's all Theo.

00:06:20.360 Okay.

00:06:20.740 But then when people are like, what's up with this black family?

00:06:23.760 You're like, that's previous owners.

00:06:24.840 Yeah.

00:06:25.160 Yeah.

00:06:25.540 You're like, do you know them?

00:06:27.080 And you're like, nah, I just, I like to honor them.

00:06:29.280 Yeah.

00:06:29.660 Yeah.

00:06:29.880 Yeah.

00:06:30.160 Yeah.

00:06:30.600 I want to have some honor for them.

00:06:32.020 Yeah.

00:06:32.680 That's all.

00:06:34.380 Yeah.

00:06:34.700 Cause it's, uh, but I, yeah, there'll be nights where I'm grogging. 0.99

00:06:37.700 I'm like, holy shit. 0.98

00:06:38.460 I'm the first black, like, you know, commissioner of some, you know? 0.99

00:06:42.060 Yeah.

00:06:42.320 Um, when I'm kind of just wandering around, um, good to see you, man.

00:06:48.480 Good to see you too, man.

00:06:49.520 Yeah.

00:06:49.780 Thank you for the, uh, for coming and hanging out.

00:06:51.880 Absolutely.

00:06:52.320 I, uh, you know, I was trying to think about, um, what was I looking at earlier that I was

00:07:01.200 thinking about?

00:07:01.920 I don't know.

00:07:03.020 Hmm.

00:07:03.900 Yeah.

00:07:04.820 Just how it is sometimes.

00:07:06.260 Yeah.

00:07:07.400 It's hot.

00:07:08.680 Yeah.

00:07:09.080 It's getting hot on.

00:07:10.040 Yeah.

00:07:10.200 It just makes you want to not think.

00:07:12.400 Do you think there's something nice about like, I've lived in places where I never had

00:07:16.240 air conditioning.

00:07:16.840 Right.

00:07:17.360 Yeah.

00:07:17.920 And it's tough, but there's also something that's kind of like primitive and real about

00:07:24.100 like, I feel like the dreams I had at night were a little more like, like I would

00:07:29.080 be sweating in my sheets.

00:07:30.420 Does that make any sense to you?

00:07:31.540 A thousand percent, a thousand percent.

00:07:34.020 And it's, you know, the thing is too, is that it's pretty easy to snap your head back

00:07:40.980 into the hottest, physically hottest, most uncomfortable times in my life.

00:07:46.900 Like I can actually, you say that and I immediately, I go to this Florida Keys trip I took when I

00:07:53.720 was 14 and we were down in the Keys and it was hot.

00:07:57.340 It was like May, June. 0.99

00:07:58.740 It was hot as fuck. 0.98

00:07:59.760 And they had no AC and you just, you just, I mean, I just literally remember that. 0.99

00:08:04.480 I remember doing, I worked construction for my friend's family and we were, the dad had

00:08:13.820 bought an apartment complex and he wanted to, he had to redo the apartments.

00:08:18.240 So they stripped them down and then we laid tile and grout in apartments in the summer

00:08:25.200 in Florida.

00:08:26.720 I mean, we're talking like, you know, it's a hundred degrees with a hundred percent humidity

00:08:30.480 and you're on your knees just like, and you, but there's, and there's no, there's not even

00:08:36.240 wind.

00:08:36.880 There's just right.

00:08:37.380 But like, and you need children for that labor. 1.00

00:08:40.020 You definitely do.

00:08:40.820 You can't have actual adults.

00:08:42.680 Yeah.

00:08:43.020 Yeah.

00:08:43.300 So that was, but like, as soon as you say that, like you just, I just immediately remember

00:08:48.360 those moments.

00:08:49.320 And then there's something about like physically, like, cause you hate it.

00:08:54.020 I mean, in the moment you're like, I hate this, but you do kind of feel like you're,

00:08:58.740 I don't know, you're in a different place.

00:09:00.240 Like you're, you really feel like you're working.

00:09:03.200 You really feel like your dreams are just about air blowing on you.

00:09:08.280 That's like the simplest type of dream you have.

00:09:10.820 Or how, like, how amazing in those moments is a cold Gatorade?

00:09:17.660 Like the, you know what I mean?

00:09:18.940 When, when you're like, you're like, you feel, and then somebody goes, they pull it out

00:09:22.840 of a cooler.

00:09:23.860 Yeah.

00:09:24.040 It was as strong as I could be.

00:09:27.140 And there's nothing sweeter in the world.

00:09:28.600 Oh, it's so good.

00:09:29.600 And you can't even taste the flavor.

00:09:31.320 If you're comfortable when you have a Gatorade, I don't even know, you're like, I don't even

00:09:33.640 know what flavor this is.

00:09:34.100 Yeah.

00:09:34.220 Like what flavor do you like?

00:09:35.360 Are you any of them?

00:09:36.140 I don't know.

00:09:36.740 Who cares?

00:09:37.300 Yeah.

00:09:37.480 It's like ice.

00:09:38.640 Yeah.

00:09:39.000 Like floral ice or something. 0.99

00:09:41.460 Gay bash. 0.99

00:09:42.920 You're like, that's a flavor. 1.00

00:09:44.600 That's insane.

00:09:45.620 Yeah.

00:09:45.800 It's always now it's like polar plunge.

00:09:48.040 And you're like, just give it.

00:09:48.840 I don't care.

00:09:49.540 Yeah.

00:09:49.820 I don't care what color it is. 1.00

00:09:50.780 Missing bitches. 1.00

00:09:51.260 And you're like, this tastes. 1.00

00:09:53.440 This tastes actually pretty amazing.

00:09:54.600 Yeah.

00:09:54.920 This is good, dude.

00:09:55.880 I didn't realize I wanted a gay bash, but I do now.

00:09:58.560 Yeah. 0.69

00:09:58.920 Yeah.

00:09:59.160 I'll take it on ice, brother.

00:10:00.640 Yeah.

00:10:01.020 That's yeah.

00:10:02.240 Those.

00:10:03.200 Yeah. 0.99

00:10:03.420 I could, you could think of like the fucking most uncomfortable you've ever been hot and 0.99

00:10:08.200 cold, I guess. 0.99

00:10:09.980 Yeah.

00:10:10.420 Cold.

00:10:10.820 I never really, I don't think I had too much real coldness in my life.

00:10:14.580 Thank God.

00:10:15.700 There's people that are just not, it's funny.

00:10:18.500 Like my trainer, he's a, you know, he's like, he's one of those dudes that is like, he just

00:10:24.280 is, they get after it.

00:10:26.400 They're disciplined.

00:10:27.480 Yes.

00:10:28.060 And like, he eats right.

00:10:29.760 He works out hard.

00:10:30.960 Like, come on.

00:10:31.660 Like this push, like go, let's, you know, it's another one.

00:10:33.940 Like that's what, that's who they are.

00:10:35.300 They're, they're coaches, you know?

00:10:37.180 And the heat, he's like, I like, I like to be outside when it's a hundred and run. 0.98

00:10:42.320 And like, people are like, you're going to fucking pass. 0.73

00:10:44.140 Like he likes it. 0.98

00:10:45.040 Yeah.

00:10:45.180 He wanted, they, some people want to go there.

00:10:46.720 They want to go there, but the dude has no tolerance for cold, which I find hilarious.

00:10:51.520 You know, he like, he doesn't like cold weather. 0.99

00:10:53.980 He doesn't like the, the cold plunge shit. 0.98

00:10:56.440 And like, I don't know, it's kind of fun to like. 1.00

00:10:59.440 Catch him on the other side.

00:11:00.440 Yeah.

00:11:00.560 Catch him on the other side.

00:11:01.560 Yeah.

00:11:01.720 Yeah.

00:11:02.020 Yeah.

00:11:02.180 Yeah.

00:11:02.300 I'm like, it's cold.

00:11:03.340 And he's just like, man, I want to get to a warmer place.

00:11:05.380 You see his whole personality change.

00:11:07.320 Yeah.

00:11:07.880 I love it, dude.

00:11:09.560 Yes.

00:11:09.940 I guess the cold really, I remember at one time it snowed in our town and people had never 0.96

00:11:13.980 seen it and people were yelling shit at the sky and just yelling like racial slurs at clouds 0.99

00:11:19.420 and shit. 1.00

00:11:20.060 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:20.320 People were, you know, like just like these ice and words, you know, just people yelling 0.99

00:11:25.960 shit outside. 0.98

00:11:26.940 And some kid went outside and got hit by an icicle. 0.99

00:11:30.540 It was like the first ice that probably ever fell in our area. 1.00

00:11:33.360 And that bitch fucking hit him right in the cheek. 1.00

00:11:36.180 And his mom tried to sue the city for like eight years, dude. 1.00

00:11:40.520 It was this huge thing.

00:11:41.480 And she's like, Ricky would have been different. 0.98

00:11:44.280 And everybody's like, Ricky fucking was never different. 0.94

00:11:47.180 Ricky was always just going to be Ricky. 0.98

00:11:50.080 Yeah.

00:11:50.360 Ricky was never.

00:11:51.660 Yeah.

00:11:52.720 Yeah.

00:11:52.920 He never had a chance.

00:11:55.060 You know, Ricky was going to be a senator or something like Ricky was always going to

00:11:59.460 be cleaning gutters.

00:12:00.780 Yeah.

00:12:01.060 No chance.

00:12:02.260 Ricky was at best going to be a drunk driver.

00:12:04.600 Yeah.

00:12:05.420 That's that was like if he achieved.

00:12:07.680 Yeah.

00:12:07.920 Yeah.

00:12:08.180 Yeah.

00:12:08.380 Like that's how he got his name in the paper.

00:12:10.380 But, um, dude, what was that?

00:12:13.560 Oh, they used to have those cool things.

00:12:15.720 The, uh, did you ever see that?

00:12:18.120 Like they had evil Knievel.

00:12:19.520 Remember those times?

00:12:20.680 Yeah, sure.

00:12:21.440 So it was probably before our time a little bit, but they had, who's this guy?

00:12:26.220 Uh, they had a guy.

00:12:27.780 Oh yeah.

00:12:28.160 You know what I'm talking about.

00:12:28.840 There we go.

00:12:29.700 This is Jimmy the Greek. 1.00

00:12:31.140 Remember this shit, dude? 1.00

00:12:33.540 Wait. 1.00

00:12:33.900 Jimmy the Greek, I think.

00:12:47.060 What? 1.00

00:12:47.540 That is fucking so stupid. 1.00

00:12:54.440 That's so stupid. 1.00

00:12:55.820 And I love it. 1.00

00:12:56.700 We don't even get to do shit like this anymore. 0.97

00:12:58.640 Look at this. 0.97

00:12:59.180 The actual fell off.

00:13:00.220 Yeah.

00:13:00.400 And look, they're going to rescue him. 0.99

00:13:05.420 Dude, you got to let this guy die.

00:13:07.180 Well, can you, can you imagine just telling somebody about your accomplishment?

00:13:11.320 Like, like, who are you? 0.98

00:13:12.960 Like, I fucking jumped over 20 motorcycles in a school bus. 0.99

00:13:16.340 And you're like, oh, wow. 0.99

00:13:18.080 That's you?

00:13:18.940 That was me.

00:13:19.680 That's you.

00:13:20.840 Ooh, and he hit that ramp, dude.

00:13:22.520 Dude.

00:13:23.500 There's so much kickback from that.

00:13:25.360 When the front nose hit the ramp, I think it. 0.96

00:13:27.700 I mean, that's fucking cool, dude. 0.96

00:13:34.140 God, it was funny. 0.94

00:13:35.140 You ever ride the bus to school?

00:13:36.660 Oh, yeah, of course.

00:13:38.080 By the way, is there more than one Jimmy the Greek?

00:13:40.700 Is that the Jimmy the Greek that we all know?

00:13:43.980 You know what I mean?

00:13:44.440 The commentator.

00:13:45.040 Oh, that's the flying Greek, this guy. 0.99

00:13:47.120 This is Jimmy the flying Greek.

00:13:48.700 Ah, okay.

00:13:49.740 Very, I was like, there's no way that that guy.

00:13:51.840 Yeah, there was the other guy.

00:13:53.320 That was a commentator.

00:13:54.580 Oh, Jimmy Snyder.

00:13:55.660 Okay.

00:13:55.980 Yeah, this guy. 0.99

00:13:56.640 Yeah, I'm like, this fucking guy's driving the bus? 1.00

00:14:00.120 Like, that would be crazy. 1.00

00:14:01.840 Oh, yeah, he got busted for what?

00:14:03.820 Yeah, I think it was a racial thing, right?

00:14:05.840 It wasn't, it was a long, it was 70s or 80s.

00:14:09.280 It was, yeah, racial comments and dismissal.

00:14:11.520 1988.

00:14:13.200 Oh, yeah.

00:14:13.960 Oh, he said, yeah, that people were bred to be in better shape.

00:14:17.360 Superior athletes, yeah. 0.98

00:14:19.300 The black is not a good way to start a sentence. 1.00

00:14:21.540 The black is a better athlete to begin with. 1.00

00:14:24.460 Yeah, this guy's out of his mind. 0.99

00:14:26.100 Yeah.

00:14:26.280 I mean, he's on point.

00:14:27.640 I mean, he's definitely right, but you don't say it like that.

00:14:30.200 Yeah, you gotta pretend like you don't think that.

00:14:33.060 Yeah.

00:14:33.780 Or you just don't say it.

00:14:34.920 But what about you see guys like...

00:14:36.520 But isn't it so great to picture him driving that bus?

00:14:38.580 Oh, yeah.

00:14:39.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:41.040 Like, you're like, that actually looks like a bus driver.

00:14:43.340 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:14:44.660 Bro, we had a guy in our neighborhood named Milford, right?

00:14:47.120 And this dude never had a shirt or he couldn't be in a shirt.

00:14:50.060 Something was wrong with him. 0.92

00:14:50.960 And he would drive us fucking with no shirt sometimes. 0.98

00:14:54.840 And sometimes he wouldn't even take us to school and the police would all come pick us up off the bus. 0.97

00:14:59.240 Really?

00:14:59.640 And take us in their cars, yeah.

00:15:01.180 That reminds me of Ariel Castro.

00:15:04.000 Remember him?

00:15:05.440 That's the guy that kidnapped those three girls and kept them in a basement in Cleveland.

00:15:09.480 Oh, yeah.

00:15:10.400 And it was a huge national story.

00:15:12.140 He was a bus driver in Cleveland.

00:15:14.480 Oh.

00:15:15.180 And one time, before he got caught, obviously, before this whole thing exploded, he just got mad and left the kids on the bus and just abandoned the bus.

00:15:25.620 And he was suspended.

00:15:28.280 That was it.

00:15:28.620 He was suspended for a year.

00:15:29.740 But this dude was a, this guy was driving kids to school for a living.

00:15:37.300 Probably just picking out the best ones, interviewing them for years at a time.

00:15:41.040 Yeah, he was.

00:15:42.160 Like, all right, come back.

00:15:43.560 We'll talk again next week. 1.00

00:15:45.160 Real fucking psycho. 0.99

00:15:46.500 I wouldn't want to have anybody kidnapped in my house, I don't think. 1.00

00:15:50.560 Especially three people.

00:15:51.940 Oh.

00:15:53.500 Well, at least if you have, you know, they say if you have goats, you shouldn't have just one.

00:15:58.940 Yeah.

00:15:59.740 That is a good point.

00:16:01.460 Yeah, my mother was going to, we were going to get my mother a goat and then when she found out she had to have two goats, she's like, I don't want two goats. 1.00

00:16:08.380 Yeah, I want one.

00:16:09.360 Yeah, but one, will they get so sad that they can't stand themselves?

00:16:12.960 Yeah.

00:16:13.300 I don't think Ariel was thinking like that.

00:16:15.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:15.520 But he was, yeah, he was a real, he was a real shitbag of a human being for sure. 0.99

00:16:20.680 It was crazy to watch him. 0.97

00:16:21.960 And I remember when the story, it was such a, it was such an unbelievable story because he had them for years.

00:16:26.960 Yeah.

00:16:27.200 And he was such a psycho that he would, he would join the search parties. 0.92

00:16:32.340 Oh. 0.83

00:16:32.760 Like when they would have annual, like we're one of them and he would go to those and then he would go back and tell the girls, like people are still looking for you and laugh and stuff.

00:16:40.600 Like he was real.

00:16:41.140 I wonder if when they were walking down the street, he was like, you're getting warm.

00:16:45.800 That would be crazy, right?

00:16:47.800 That would be insane.

00:16:48.960 And I remember if like they start to walk up to his place, he's like, I would take a left here.

00:16:55.420 Nope, just check this place out. 0.99

00:16:57.180 He's just fucking doing stuff like that. 0.98

00:16:59.060 And he had, you know, the funny thing is like the way that like the human mind works is that he, the one that he, he trusted, there's the three and the one that he trusted and he had a baby with when she was there. 0.99

00:17:09.600 And so he so trusted how fearful they were that he would leave her like unchained and free.

00:17:17.520 And she was so brainwashed and scared that, yeah, she would just stay until the day that she didn't, but she never, it was pretty wild, man.

00:17:26.020 But he was.

00:17:26.820 It's like Bert and Arby's, I feel like.

00:17:28.700 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

00:17:30.380 That's exactly what it is.

00:17:31.580 I feel like it's like he would stay in there.

00:17:34.440 He will never leave.

00:17:36.040 That roast beef is like, it's, it's like a girl in his basement. 1.00

00:17:41.400 The roast beef and him are one.

00:17:43.820 How interesting that Bert has made his own sound in the world.

00:17:46.580 How many people have made their own sound?

00:17:48.900 That's a really good point.

00:17:50.420 You're doing it.

00:17:51.360 Yeah.

00:17:52.440 Yeah.

00:17:53.140 Who has that?

00:17:54.100 That type of squeal. 0.99

00:17:55.560 Yeah.

00:17:56.480 And he, he's so, I think you can only make that sound if you enjoy yourself that much.

00:18:00.720 He's so pleased with himself.

00:18:03.400 I've never met somebody who is so enamored with themselves.

00:18:08.040 Like, yeah.

00:18:09.000 And then he'll be like, I understand that like, you know, people get exhausted of me.

00:18:13.960 And I'm like, oh really?

00:18:14.520 He goes, unless you like me, then you can't get enough.

00:18:17.800 And I'm like, Jesus Christ.

00:18:20.960 He's like, and I'm like, well, which one are you?

00:18:22.780 He's like, I definitely can't get enough of me.

00:18:24.480 I'm like, God.

00:18:25.840 I'm like, how do you have this much love for yourself?

00:18:28.320 He's got to enjoy it.

00:18:29.440 That's true, huh?

00:18:30.140 He probably wakes up every day and he's like, yeah.

00:18:32.040 I'm awesome.

00:18:32.660 I'm burned again.

00:18:33.520 It's funny because everybody usually struggles with the other side of that.

00:18:36.860 Yeah.

00:18:37.160 Right?

00:18:37.360 Like, I'm not good enough.

00:18:38.720 He doesn't, huh?

00:18:39.800 I mean, I don't think like, well, maybe, but it's like, it's so morphed into this other

00:18:45.080 thing or like with bodies, like everybody who, you know, it goes like, oh, you know,

00:18:50.720 I wish I didn't have this belly or like, you know, and then he's just like, I look 0.91

00:18:54.640 fucking great. 0.97

00:18:55.580 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:55.760 Like, wait, what?

00:18:56.540 It's like, you're focusing on the wrong thing, which is what like, like a psychologist would

00:19:01.680 tell you.

00:19:02.020 Yeah.

00:19:02.160 They'd be like, you know, but look at your great shoulders.

00:19:04.800 And then they'd be like, oh, okay.

00:19:06.080 You're right.

00:19:06.520 Yeah.

00:19:06.900 And then he's just like, yeah, I automatically do that. 0.96

00:19:09.520 I look fucking great. 0.97

00:19:10.720 And you're like, okay. 0.99

00:19:12.500 Uh, all right.

00:19:13.180 I was, yeah, I was wrong.

00:19:14.800 You're like, I was looking at you and actually picking everything apart, but yeah, you do

00:19:18.480 have nice, nice delts.

00:19:20.740 Yeah.

00:19:21.100 You have legs like a snowman.

00:19:23.020 Yeah.

00:19:23.340 These little pencil legs.

00:19:25.060 I guess I was looking pretty crazily.

00:19:27.140 Yeah, man.

00:19:27.960 It's pretty wild.

00:19:28.300 Yeah.

00:19:28.320 That is interesting, man.

00:19:29.860 Yeah.

00:19:30.080 You know, I think he has an infallible, and I don't know what that means, but he has like 0.98

00:19:34.640 this ability to, he has a fucking undefeated, there's something about him that's un-fucking 0.99

00:19:40.580 defeated. 0.99

00:19:41.780 Yeah.

00:19:42.680 Well.

00:19:43.320 It seems like anyway, I mean, you know him so well.

00:19:45.520 Well, you're right.

00:19:46.920 You're right.

00:19:47.360 It is, it's, um, it's that ultimately he, he, he really buys into, I'm going to bet on

00:19:53.640 myself in every aspect.

00:19:55.280 I believe in myself and he's not going to wallow in like the, any of the negative stuff.

00:20:02.600 Oh yeah.

00:20:03.060 You know, he's somebody like, and that's also something that you would be taught, like

00:20:06.440 just keep moving forward.

00:20:08.140 That's, that's him all the times.

00:20:09.740 He's going, going, going.

00:20:10.540 I think almost to his own detriment where like, you need to go like, like, like hold

00:20:16.000 back, pull back a little bit, be, be present in this.

00:20:19.080 Cause I think he's just like, the race is over, but he's still going.

00:20:21.840 He's still, yeah, that's, that's exactly what he's doing.

00:20:23.960 He's still running.

00:20:24.780 And they're like, this is over right now.

00:20:26.700 Yeah.

00:20:26.960 You can, then yeah, he just goes and goes and goes, but he, um, you know, he gets like, 0.92

00:20:32.280 it's funny because people just see like, uh, a shirtless, morbidly obese lunatic. 0.91

00:20:41.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:41.800 And they go, this guy's a fucking, this guy gambles. 1.00

00:20:44.440 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:45.200 He's a mess.

00:20:45.840 Um, and he is all those things, but he's actually, you know, I'd say he's actually a lot smarter 0.98

00:20:52.580 than he gets credit for because it's easy to go, this guy is just a dope and he's drunk,

00:20:58.240 but he's, he's actually like, I mean, I'm honest, like seriously, he, as far as ideas

00:21:05.360 to like creatively, he's an idea man, dude.

00:21:08.260 And, and I don't think people give him any credit.

00:21:11.400 Like he busts out ideas.

00:21:14.720 You could go, if you went up to him and you're like, I wish I, I want to have a television

00:21:18.120 show.

00:21:19.440 He would throw you.

00:21:21.040 Give you an idea.

00:21:21.980 10.

00:21:22.640 Wow.

00:21:23.060 He'd throw you 10.

00:21:24.720 And then you're like, I don't like that one.

00:21:26.300 I don't like that one.

00:21:27.040 That one's.

00:21:27.460 And then you'd be like, whoa, that's, I think that's the best idea I've heard for that.

00:21:31.300 That's a good one.

00:21:32.220 Yeah.

00:21:32.400 Yeah, he really is.

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00:24:25.140 Yeah, you know, sometimes you see there's only a couple of things you can see.

00:24:28.340 You don't even see people's other that you don't you don't get a chance.

00:24:32.000 Maybe other things overshadow them.

00:24:34.460 You know, you don't get to know them in other regards. 0.60

00:24:37.680 I think that a lot about a lot of the UFC fighters, some of them are so cool and other shit are so funny or whatever.

00:24:43.420 Yeah.

00:24:43.620 You never even get to know because they're just seen as like this warrior.

00:24:47.640 Well, because it's easy.

00:24:48.840 It's all of us want to go.

00:24:51.340 That's who this is.

00:24:52.300 Yeah.

00:24:52.460 And it's easy to define people as one dimensional.

00:24:55.960 You know, like like Theo's a southern guy and he's a comedian and like I don't that's all you are.

00:25:01.800 And you should like I want to be able to describe him in this way.

00:25:05.240 Yeah.

00:25:05.600 You know, I don't I don't if you told me he likes sailing and skeet shooting.

00:25:10.360 It doesn't add up.

00:25:11.100 So I'm not good.

00:25:11.820 They don't want to they don't want to hear it.

00:25:13.360 They just want to hear.

00:25:14.700 This is who he is.

00:25:15.820 He is.

00:25:16.420 And it's and it make it simple.

00:25:17.880 And let me and it's like when somebody goes somebody says they like guns, they go, oh,

00:25:23.360 so you're like a conservative right wing Second Amendment champion. 0.99

00:25:27.680 And someone was like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

00:25:29.660 I just like go into the shooting. 0.99

00:25:30.880 Like, you know, you're like I'm just a tech nine fan or something.

00:25:34.040 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:34.860 But but like so many people go, well, that does.

00:25:37.780 If you like this, then you are this type of person.

00:25:39.940 Yeah.

00:25:40.180 And what the truth is that like a UFC fighter can like the ballet, you know, like it just

00:25:45.420 doesn't.

00:25:45.900 But a lot of people just don't want to think outside of what is comfortable because then

00:25:52.000 it might shatter everything that they believe.

00:25:54.800 Oh, that's true.

00:25:55.760 Yeah, man, because they don't want to think that somebody that a redneck guy could have 1.00

00:26:02.000 a black buddy that really that is that he's not afraid to do sleepovers with.

00:26:06.040 Exactly.

00:26:07.020 Exactly. 0.99

00:26:07.460 Because it would fucking ruin their whole ball of wax. 0.99

00:26:10.320 Exactly. 0.99

00:26:10.840 And then they don't get to be lazy thinkers because that's essentially it's being lazy

00:26:16.280 to go.

00:26:17.200 I want to easily define everybody with like, oh, he's from here.

00:26:20.520 He's this type of guy.

00:26:21.780 Got it.

00:26:22.320 That's what he is.

00:26:23.100 Yeah.

00:26:23.260 Dang.

00:26:23.660 Yeah, that's interesting, man.

00:26:26.300 I got to keep tabs on my brain sometimes when I try to do that because yeah, because sometimes

00:26:30.020 it is.

00:26:30.320 We all do.

00:26:30.800 We all do.

00:26:31.560 Yeah.

00:26:31.880 But then sometimes it's also funny if you're joking around.

00:26:33.940 It's a stereotype.

00:26:35.100 Yeah, of course.

00:26:35.900 And you have to be able to do it.

00:26:37.140 Of course.

00:26:37.600 I mean, I think of like these like comics like Brian Simpson.

00:26:41.040 Do you know, Brian?

00:26:41.540 Mm-hmm.

00:26:41.940 He's so funny and what I love is that he challenges what people will think because they want to

00:26:50.300 define him, you know?

00:26:51.320 Like they go like, oh, he's black. 0.89

00:26:53.300 Yeah, he seems like maybe like a bus driver's son or whatever.

00:26:55.920 Yeah, but they go like, oh, he served in the military.

00:26:58.480 So then somebody will be like, well, he's my guy.

00:27:02.100 And then you go and you talk to him and then you realize, no, but he also, he has left-leaning

00:27:07.960 thoughts and ideas.

00:27:09.420 He has-

00:27:09.940 He has-

00:27:10.820 He's a blood donor.

00:27:11.300 He's a blood donor.

00:27:12.280 Whoa, whoa.

00:27:13.220 Even bone marrow, he'll go that far.

00:27:15.080 Oh, God.

00:27:16.080 And then, but like he's, the thing is like you can't easily just define the guy.

00:27:19.820 No, you can't.

00:27:20.420 Because the guy is an original thinker.

00:27:22.540 He has, you know, he has moderate thoughts.

00:27:25.420 He has left- because he's a, like everybody, he's a multi-layered, complex individual.

00:27:30.760 Yeah.

00:27:30.920 And as a, like from an audience standpoint, when you watch a guy like that, that's fun because

00:27:35.720 you go, well, he, if he was ex-military, he must be like this.

00:27:39.080 It's like, no.

00:27:39.680 Yeah.

00:27:39.880 And his ideas are just original, you know?

00:27:42.540 And I love that he challenges people's idea of what he's supposed to be.

00:27:46.620 Yeah.

00:27:47.640 Do you think, yeah, Brian is a really unique dude.

00:27:50.600 Yeah.

00:27:50.740 He's interesting to hear.

00:27:51.800 I like how he's kind of a little bit patient with it.

00:27:54.120 You know, it's like, he's kind of that silent killer.

00:27:56.720 He's like emphysema.

00:27:57.500 Oh, yeah. 0.85

00:27:58.140 He is exactly emphysema.

00:28:00.300 Yeah.

00:28:00.660 Yeah.

00:28:01.100 And that takes like real skill.

00:28:03.820 Yeah.

00:28:04.060 Yeah.

00:28:04.460 Yeah.

00:28:04.880 And years of smoking.

00:28:06.000 Like you, you, you don't just get there.

00:28:09.060 Like that's confidence.

00:28:10.160 And you got to be good.

00:28:11.160 Honestly, to take your time.

00:28:12.540 People who take their time are the most fun to watch, I think.

00:28:17.140 Yeah.

00:28:18.100 Yeah.

00:28:18.640 That's a good statement.

00:28:20.060 Ron White had this great, I think he was, he told Christina this.

00:28:23.520 He goes, no, just remember, if you're, if you're doing bad up there, slow down.

00:28:32.980 If you're doing good up there, slow down.

00:28:37.200 Like across the board.

00:28:39.040 Right.

00:28:40.040 Drop it down a notch.

00:28:41.420 Right.

00:28:41.640 Because everybody's instinct a lot of times is like speed up, speed up, like faster and

00:28:45.440 more.

00:28:45.780 And then you get it on both sides because you're like, you're like, yeah, if I'm dying

00:28:48.940 up there, I want to get like, let's just go.

00:28:51.560 Maybe I can run through this and I won't suffer as badly.

00:28:54.000 Yeah.

00:28:54.340 And if you're killing, it's almost like this level of excitement.

00:28:56.960 You want to keep the gas going.

00:28:58.100 Go, go, go.

00:28:58.620 And it's like, just slow down.

00:28:59.780 Did you ever get in moments where I've found like, even looking back on some shows where

00:29:05.760 it's like, man, I was in such a pattern of doing my material that that becomes almost

00:29:11.040 a, not a problem, but it becomes something I have to contend with each show.

00:29:14.680 Like, how do I make this feel original to my face, to my everything?

00:29:21.460 Absolutely.

00:29:22.140 I mean, I call it press play performing.

00:29:25.060 When you get into the pattern so much that it's like you press play on the, on the,

00:29:29.780 you know, on your remote.

00:29:30.840 Yeah.

00:29:31.140 You're like, right here.

00:29:31.840 And right now I'm supposed to be right here.

00:29:32.980 Here's the show.

00:29:34.100 And you just do the show.

00:29:35.660 Yeah.

00:29:36.000 The great thing is that you, you have the ability to recognize that it's happening.

00:29:41.160 And the first, what happens first, I think is that you're, you're out there doing show

00:29:44.420 after show, after show, you go, what is going on?

00:29:47.840 And then you realize, oh, I'm like, I'm stale.

00:29:50.640 I'm bored. 0.99

00:29:51.760 And I'm doing the same fucking show beat by beat. 0.99

00:29:55.440 And even like, like you said, facial, like I turn my face here and I do this and I gesture 0.98

00:29:59.140 like this and it's hitting the mark and it's, it's bad.

00:30:01.960 It's bad for you.

00:30:03.020 Yeah.

00:30:03.300 And so you start the, the first thing I try to do is go, I'm going to, I have to open

00:30:08.200 that, the next show differently, whether it's a joke from the act that I moved to the front

00:30:14.340 or I'm going to riff at the front or I'm going to, I'm going to write a new, like I have to

00:30:18.660 start differently because sometimes if you start the show like completely differently, it gives

00:30:24.220 you this, this energy for the rest of the show.

00:30:27.360 Like this whole, there's something inside you changes.

00:30:29.980 I really think the key to all of it is that when you're in that zone of doing the same 0.93

00:30:35.860 shit, you have to challenge yourself to create something new because there's no juice like 0.97

00:30:41.120 that. 0.99

00:30:41.280 There's nothing that feels better than a new thing, but it's also work that you don't

00:30:47.220 have to do.

00:30:48.040 So that's why it's a challenge because you're like, I have the, the show works.

00:30:52.480 Right.

00:30:52.520 It'll be fine.

00:30:53.160 It'll be fine without me doing that. 0.90

00:30:54.840 But it's the only way to get through that feeling of like, this sucks right now.

00:30:58.780 I'm not having fun.

00:30:59.920 Yeah.

00:31:00.560 And there's a little other element that happens.

00:31:02.920 There's some other magic in the room whenever the, if you can get that freshness somehow.

00:31:06.960 It's like, it's, it, it, the right word for it is magic.

00:31:10.020 Cause there's no other way to like, you can only say it to other people who have done it.

00:31:14.760 But I just remember that like when I was touring Europe, I was, I'd just written some new

00:31:21.500 stuff and then I opened the show and like, you start with such a pop of, but it's a

00:31:27.780 fresh pop.

00:31:28.340 Cause you're like, this is my new toy.

00:31:29.820 Like you just, you, that I was performing the rest of the show with such a level of

00:31:35.860 like excitement.

00:31:37.100 And I, and then I would get off and the people that like the tour crew would be like, they're

00:31:41.600 like, man, you're having like so much fun out there.

00:31:43.320 And you're like, yeah.

00:31:43.840 And you know why?

00:31:44.360 Because of the first five minutes of the show that carried me through the, through the

00:31:48.720 hour.

00:31:49.280 Yeah.

00:31:49.640 And then there's like, you realize in those moments, you're like, well, anytime I feel

00:31:54.400 stale, what I need to do is that I need to like try something new.

00:31:59.000 Yeah.

00:31:59.420 That's what it is.

00:32:00.160 You know, it's, and like, it kind of applies to life too, right?

00:32:03.040 People who get like, oh, I'm bored.

00:32:05.240 I'm like, you got to try something.

00:32:06.280 That's true.

00:32:06.740 Yeah.

00:32:06.920 If you're bored, if you, with your spouse in the bedroom, if you're bored with your buddy

00:32:11.040 and you're just sitting somewhere.

00:32:12.620 You got to order a toy.

00:32:13.400 Yeah.

00:32:13.760 Yeah.

00:32:13.900 You got to, yeah, yeah, dude.

00:32:15.460 Yeah.

00:32:15.920 Yeah.

00:32:16.520 You got to turn on the, that thing that like, it goes around under, like it, it, it's like

00:32:21.180 cinches the top of your ball bag.

00:32:22.960 Uh huh. 1.00

00:32:23.320 And then there's the other part on your, on your dick. 1.00

00:32:25.900 And so you have two clamps going down. 1.00

00:32:28.080 Oh yeah.

00:32:28.300 I mean, that'll change you and your friends.

00:32:29.560 Oh yeah, dude.

00:32:30.460 Like relationship.

00:32:31.460 Yeah.

00:32:31.640 For sure. 0.97

00:32:33.440 You and that black guy that are doing the sleepover. 0.98

00:32:35.620 Yeah. 0.93

00:32:36.200 You're going to have the best night.

00:32:38.200 Dude.

00:32:38.580 I remember one of the first times I realized that black and white people were different.

00:32:41.540 We were riding in a truck in the back of a truck somewhere and our basketball coach was

00:32:46.060 taking us somewhere to probably do work for him for free.

00:32:48.520 Cause he was kind of like that.

00:32:49.720 And, um, he, my, we got to a stop sign where he'd been going like 50 miles an hour and

00:32:56.520 my black buddy, this kid, uh, Mike, um, he goes, what's it like to have your hair blow

00:33:03.780 in the wind?

00:33:04.660 That's what he asked me.

00:33:05.720 Yeah.

00:33:06.620 That's a good one.

00:33:07.340 I was like, wow, that's interesting.

00:33:08.880 And it takes you a second, right?

00:33:09.900 You're like, what?

00:33:10.820 And then you're like, oh yeah.

00:33:12.700 You're just kind of moves all together.

00:33:14.960 Yeah.

00:33:15.280 It was just, yeah. 1.00

00:33:16.300 You got a dent in your shit right now. 1.00

00:33:17.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 1.00

00:33:22.680 Dude, yeah, you have like a fucking twig, sucky old shit. 1.00

00:33:26.120 You actually need to, you need to go see someone to reset everything. 1.00

00:33:31.780 Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else has been interesting going on.

00:33:35.760 Did you guys, you got into fitness a lot recently, huh?

00:33:38.280 Yeah, I mean, on this, on the last tour, you know what happened was that like, I always

00:33:43.280 like, do it somewhat.

00:33:46.960 Right, because you guys have done that Sober October for a while.

00:33:49.520 But even like before that, it was always like, I mean, that would be another time, but I would

00:33:54.600 get like to a certain point and then I would have the mentality of like, oh, I got there.

00:34:02.120 Like, it's almost like the race is over.

00:34:03.580 Like, I'm done.

00:34:04.840 Like, now I'm good.

00:34:06.620 Like, 10 times or more.

00:34:09.240 And so then what happens is you, when you go like, I'm done, you just kind of retreat back

00:34:14.060 to old habits and you get out of shape. 0.99

00:34:17.320 And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, fuck, how'd this happen again? 0.99

00:34:19.640 And then you, you go, I'm going to do it again. 1.00

00:34:21.960 And then you go, all right, I'm going to work out and eat clean.

00:34:25.120 And then you lose weight and you start to get, and then you go, oh, I did, I got to this

00:34:28.940 number again.

00:34:29.620 I feel, and then you just kind of pull back.

00:34:32.080 And so it really was that I got frustrated by that.

00:34:36.000 And I had this, I had, I had gotten, I was, I was on tour and we were working out on tour,

00:34:44.180 but not really like dialed in on food.

00:34:48.160 We were in, and the tour was like aggressive, like nonstop.

00:34:51.260 And I remember that I got to back to LA to shoot this thing.

00:34:54.880 I was shooting this pilot I had written and I, I was, I was covering the whole production.

00:35:01.280 And I went, I remember I was in the, uh, the wardrobe fitting for it.

00:35:05.380 And I was like, shit, this is like, I feel like I'm going back, like in, in the fitting 0.96

00:35:10.740 the clothes. 1.00

00:35:11.280 I was like, oh, this sucks. 0.96

00:35:12.920 And then I left there like after that week. 0.95

00:35:15.900 And I was like, I have to take this more seriously.

00:35:19.320 But the difference is, is that I no longer go, if I see a number that I like on a scale,

00:35:28.020 that means I'm good.

00:35:29.020 It's just, I, I realized that you have to do it like that.

00:35:33.560 There is no end there.

00:35:35.280 It's just continuous.

00:35:36.620 Right.

00:35:36.940 It's like, it's something that you just, if it's about goals, you just have to set new

00:35:41.000 goals.

00:35:42.060 You know, like if you, you can't go like, oh, if I see this number, I'm, I'm at the weight

00:35:46.260 I like.

00:35:46.720 Okay.

00:35:47.020 You have to set new fitness goals.

00:35:48.640 Like you have to go, well, this month is about, uh, you know, like cardio stuff or this month

00:35:54.480 I want to see if I can do 200 pushups a day.

00:35:56.900 Like you have to set goal.

00:35:58.940 That's what I, I mean, that's what, that's what happened for you.

00:36:00.600 Had you been doing that before in your life setting?

00:36:02.660 Like, I mean, I know we have sometimes subconsciously, we set goals.

00:36:05.980 We don't realize, and we have some of that going on in our general life, but had you ever

00:36:09.620 done it that specifically before we were like, I'm a set a goal?

00:36:12.600 Uh, I kind of loosely, I would say, you know, like, Hey, this month, let's go.

00:36:16.840 Let's go after this type of thing and things like, like in sober October.

00:36:21.020 But this was also the time where I was like, you know, this really, as like cliche as it

00:36:26.620 sounds can be like a lifestyle change.

00:36:29.060 And now I realized how much I am affected, not just physically, mentally, emotionally

00:36:36.140 by, and in a good way, by my, like working out a lot and like waking up, getting my, my

00:36:45.140 stuff together, going to the gym right away.

00:36:47.360 And I'm like, I'm just having a better day.

00:36:49.200 I'm just happier.

00:36:50.020 Yeah.

00:36:50.660 I'm, I'm moving around better.

00:36:52.240 I look better.

00:36:53.280 I feel like, so I just go, I feel like I have better, uh, creative days, you know, like

00:36:59.060 it's all kind of tied together.

00:37:00.580 Yeah.

00:37:00.960 It's, it's, it's tied together.

00:37:02.180 So I just made it like part of what I do.

00:37:06.380 It's like, you know, I just, I, I know that I want to eat certain types of food that are

00:37:11.740 good for me.

00:37:12.720 And I, and by the way, I'm not saying this, like I am the most strict dude and don't ever

00:37:17.520 like, but I'm just like, there's just so much more clean eating.

00:37:22.060 Yeah.

00:37:22.540 And, um, and I liked the, I liked the workouts.

00:37:25.160 I like it.

00:37:25.740 You know, I like being active and I just feel like I'm very fortunate in that I have a full

00:37:31.200 time trainer.

00:37:32.000 So I'm, I know I'm, I'm not right.

00:37:35.000 Not everybody has that.

00:37:35.980 I totally understand that.

00:37:37.040 And it's a huge advantage.

00:37:38.220 And so sometimes people will be like, well, yeah, of course you can do that if you, I'm like,

00:37:41.520 yeah, that's, I'm, I'm very lucky that I can do it, but you also just have to want that

00:37:47.020 in your life.

00:37:47.700 Yeah.

00:37:48.160 And, uh, we've been having a buddy that goes with you to the gym.

00:37:50.440 That used to be one of the funnest times when I was young, dude, we would go and we used

00:37:54.360 to do steroids back in the day.

00:37:56.060 And really, what would you, what kind of steroids would you do?

00:37:58.320 Oh, dude, test 200, 400. 0.99

00:38:02.740 We might've done a fucking 1100 they came out with for like fucking a couple. 0.98

00:38:06.460 I got, I take some tests though. 0.98

00:38:07.860 Do you, what are you, are you with vitamin T?

00:38:09.520 Oh yeah.

00:38:10.040 Yeah.

00:38:10.260 Yeah.

00:38:10.480 A couple of jabs, like a couple of jabs. 1.00

00:38:12.560 Yeah.

00:38:13.080 What are you doing the butt cheek? 1.00

00:38:14.080 Yeah.

00:38:14.420 Yeah.

00:38:14.740 It's almost, it's kind of fun.

00:38:16.140 I hate to say that.

00:38:17.020 And I don't want, but see, I take a moderate dose though.

00:38:19.920 Right.

00:38:20.700 I, I was like, oh, I'm going to, this is going to be wild.

00:38:23.480 And they're like, not with what we give you.

00:38:25.920 Oh yeah.

00:38:26.300 Like they're like, like one of the guys was like, oh, he's like, how much you taking? 0.99

00:38:30.480 And I tell him, he goes, that ain't shit. 0.97

00:38:32.480 He goes, I would take three times that amount in a, in one session. 0.99

00:38:36.040 I was like, what?

00:38:36.900 But, but he was also a bodybuilder.

00:38:39.580 Yeah.

00:38:39.800 I was like, yeah, I mean, that's not, I'm not trying to do that.

00:38:42.720 You know?

00:38:42.820 Yeah.

00:38:43.060 Yeah.

00:38:43.580 I'm just want to be, recover more and.

00:38:46.680 Yeah.

00:38:47.460 And it makes me, I remember a lot.

00:38:49.120 I took, I also tried a testosterone that was like, I saw on the internet, you know, I fell

00:38:53.460 into one of those deals one night and, you know, I bought like a couple of weird shirts

00:38:57.780 on Facebook and next, you know, I'm buying like tests some from some company who's mailing

00:39:01.740 it.

00:39:02.300 Right.

00:39:02.340 Yeah.

00:39:02.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:03.180 And they mailed it with like some eye in like a fucking, like that's what, you know, shit 0.99

00:39:07.560 is a little weird when they're mailing you all the needles and the ice and stuff. 0.99

00:39:10.740 Oh yeah.

00:39:11.280 Yeah.

00:39:11.460 Um, and I tried that for a while, made some of my hair fall out.

00:39:15.720 Really?

00:39:16.340 Yeah.

00:39:17.020 I noticed that that was a bad side effect from it, which was a little scary.

00:39:20.280 Was it affecting aggression? 0.99

00:39:21.720 People always talk about roid rage and shit. 0.99

00:39:23.360 Like was you, were you snapping? 1.00

00:39:24.580 It made me want to hump. 0.96

00:39:25.760 No. 0.95

00:39:26.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:26.340 It made me want to fucking hump, dude. 1.00

00:39:28.660 I'll fuck a mailman. 1.00

00:39:29.860 I felt like a damn doll, you know? 1.00

00:39:31.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:31.540 Really?

00:39:32.100 Oh God.

00:39:32.760 I found myself running to the edge of the fence if the mail guy would drive off.

00:39:37.640 I had a guy, a friend of mine that was in college.

00:39:41.460 It was juicing and the way that he would snap after a while, I was like, yo, like this 0.97

00:39:48.920 guy's about to fucking rip somebody's arm out of its side. 0.97

00:39:52.200 Yeah. 0.98

00:39:53.140 He was, and I was like, oh, okay.

00:39:54.780 I'm, I'm seeing this firsthand.

00:39:56.200 It was, it was pretty nutty. 1.00

00:39:57.840 You know, he's just fucking all the time. 1.00

00:40:00.780 I was like, holy fuck. 1.00

00:40:01.960 Oh, there was nothing like juicing back in the day, dude. 1.00

00:40:04.800 My buddy and I met this fellow.

00:40:06.560 He's a homosexual and he was a prize fighter. 1.00

00:40:09.540 Right. 0.99

00:40:09.940 Uh huh.

00:40:10.240 And nobody knew he was, he was just like, he'd grown up fighting. 1.00

00:40:13.820 And then, so then people would just think he was gay and around, then he'd beat the shit 0.99

00:40:17.240 out of somebody. 1.00

00:40:17.800 That's a fucking perfect combo. 1.00

00:40:19.580 It was an insane combo, right? 1.00

00:40:21.200 People weren't ready for it.

00:40:22.200 Like you're saying like people want to put you in one box. 0.94

00:40:24.420 If you're a fighter, you can't be gay. 1.00

00:40:26.320 Yeah. 0.94

00:40:26.520 Never had seen it.

00:40:27.580 Yeah.

00:40:27.740 So, um, so we became buddies.

00:40:30.860 We're both bus boys and we became buddies and we started shooting up and we'd pull over

00:40:35.880 on the side of the interstate and stuff like that and just douse each other up and we're

00:40:39.740 just driving around.

00:40:40.840 Um, it was right around when princess Diana had died too. 0.99

00:40:45.320 And it was just a fucking lot. 0.91

00:40:47.400 But I remember we would do a bunch of steroids and I remember the first day I was in class 0.98

00:40:53.160 where I guess the teacher had given me like every quarter she had this stack of papers

00:40:57.060 and she would turn them all back to the students.

00:40:59.120 She gave me the stack and I'd had the stack before and it was usually kind of heavy in

00:41:03.620 my hands and I just remember like she gave me the stack and I was like, Oh, isn't that

00:41:07.940 funny?

00:41:08.320 You remember the weight of it?

00:41:09.960 Yeah.

00:41:10.540 That this is like, Oh, this is light.

00:41:11.900 This light work, baby.

00:41:12.980 Yeah.

00:41:13.660 This is light work.

00:41:14.920 Yeah.

00:41:15.500 Yeah. 0.93

00:41:15.960 So I remember walking around with this stack and I was like, Oh, I'm a fucking different 0.98

00:41:19.140 guy. 0.98

00:41:19.880 Yeah.

00:41:20.480 It's a good feeling. 0.96

00:41:21.640 And then I was doing all kinds of shit and I would buy shit that wasn't even stored 0.97

00:41:24.680 that people would tell me it was. 0.99

00:41:26.020 And I was fucking at diarrhea for like three months one time, horribly. 0.98

00:41:30.940 I put some, I mean, there's still some stuff. 0.98

00:41:33.000 If I took some kind of oil, like I think some illegal oils or whatever, there was some

00:41:39.020 things that I wish I hadn't taken, you know, probably, but at that time where it was so

00:41:43.420 rare to get it one time, somebody, we all went to Mexico for, um, school year thing or

00:41:51.100 something, end of school and people bought it back in shampoo bottles. 0.98

00:41:55.240 So then you were fucking doing this sudsy bubbly fucking really? 0.99

00:42:00.100 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:00.260 Like you felt like slippery all the time, but you were still doing it.

00:42:04.080 I wish I, I remember being scared to try in high school.

00:42:08.480 Yeah.

00:42:08.940 And there was a couple of dudes that were doing it in high school, which I thought was

00:42:12.020 like, because back then for me, like all you'd heard was like, uh, Lyle Alzado.

00:42:16.680 Oh, he died.

00:42:17.500 Yeah.

00:42:17.720 And you're like, Hey, steroids.

00:42:19.040 And I was like, Oh, steroids are like the worst.

00:42:20.720 And then there's a couple of kids, like 16 year old kids, you know, on steroids. 1.00

00:42:24.500 And one of them looked like a fuck, like it looked like a bodybuilder. 1.00

00:42:28.440 Like he had a man's, a muscular man's body. 1.00

00:42:32.400 And you kind of were like, that'd be fucking pretty nice. 1.00

00:42:34.520 This guy is like, I mean, just fucking. 1.00

00:42:37.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:37.520 Jacked, but I still was like, nah, if I do that, I'll die.

00:42:42.040 Like, that's what I thought, you know?

00:42:43.340 Like I, so I just, I wouldn't do it.

00:42:44.780 And then this dude went to college and got on.

00:42:48.580 I saw him on a break and I was like, I mean, he looked like a gorilla.

00:42:52.280 I was like, what are you? 0.99

00:42:53.420 He's like, they got me on this shit called Darth Vader. 0.99

00:42:55.320 And I was like, that's, I see it. 0.99

00:42:57.880 Like, yeah, I was like, I fucking see it, dude. 0.99

00:43:01.280 He was fucking so jacked. 0.99

00:43:03.300 I remember he went to Florida State. 1.00

00:43:05.260 Yeah, that was, that was that nature.

00:43:06.980 Remember they had that movie that came out about Florida State?

00:43:09.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:09.780 They were doing the drugs, man.

00:43:11.740 Yeah.

00:43:12.100 I think there was something, there was definitely, it was big.

00:43:15.240 It was big to get, if you could get on some roids.

00:43:17.580 And then like, yeah, you would get a girl who was like, 0.99

00:43:20.480 always just afraid you were going to beat her.

00:43:22.240 Some of those women, you know, like. 1.00

00:43:23.860 Perfect girlfriend.

00:43:24.480 Yeah.

00:43:24.700 Yeah.

00:43:25.040 Like, she'd be like, don't beat me.

00:43:26.340 She'd write that at the end of every like love letter or whatever.

00:43:28.820 And you hadn't even thought about it.

00:43:30.200 Yeah.

00:43:30.540 You know, but they get your wheels turned.

00:43:32.200 It was some of those. 0.99

00:43:32.760 She sees what you do to tables and windows and shit. 1.00

00:43:35.100 She's like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:43:36.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:36.740 Yeah.

00:43:37.320 Yeah, dude. 0.97

00:43:37.940 There was a couple of times where I fucking snapped, man, 0.98

00:43:40.040 where you would be shocked at some of your own behaviors, you know? 0.99

00:43:42.900 And then your strength matches your anger

00:43:45.380 and you're just able to do something insane, you know?

00:43:48.640 Were you doing like traditional lifts when you were juicing too?

00:43:51.540 Like bench, squat, deadlift, that kind of stuff?

00:43:53.620 Yeah.

00:43:53.820 Yeah.

00:43:54.220 A lot of that, some rows.

00:43:55.960 Did you hit crazy numbers on them?

00:43:58.360 I probably got to maybe 260, maybe I could bench, 245 or 260,

00:44:03.600 which isn't insane, but for me it was.

00:44:05.260 Yeah, sure.

00:44:05.740 Squats, I did okay.

00:44:09.000 But I definitely remember, and I never thought I looked okay,

00:44:12.520 so I really had some deficiency with my own brain.

00:44:15.420 Yeah.

00:44:15.520 I was always like, do I seem okay?

00:44:17.180 I'd be embarrassed to take my shirt off at places.

00:44:19.340 You didn't have that Burt mentality at all.

00:44:21.720 Oh, no. 0.98

00:44:22.060 The unlimited fucking like, I feel like Burt should just turn his stomach, 1.00

00:44:26.660 get a nipple put on his, just make a third tit, you know? 1.00

00:44:30.020 It's almost there. 0.99

00:44:30.940 Like the biggest tit, like the winter tit.

00:44:32.880 Yeah, this is the main tit.

00:44:34.240 Yeah, dude.

00:44:35.520 Yeah.

00:44:35.800 Bro, how sick would that be if you went to see Burt? 0.99

00:44:38.080 He's got two nipples and then like a little curtain and he pulls it over. 0.99

00:44:41.480 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:41.680 And it's like the unveiling.

00:44:43.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:44.240 God, I saw a lady last night with the craziest tits. 1.00

00:44:47.080 Really good or bad or risque? 1.00

00:44:48.760 It was just, you know when they were such outrageous tits? 1.00

00:44:55.620 Like she was hot and they were enormous. 0.98

00:44:58.740 And she was wearing the, you know, the like the top that goes here, 0.97

00:45:02.960 but the top was just above the nipples. 1.00

00:45:05.720 So, I mean, just covering, like you could almost see the beginning of a nipple

00:45:09.800 and they were like here.

00:45:11.160 And then she has this little body and part of you just wants to go like,

00:45:15.100 hey, just, why don't you just take a moment in the room and just go,

00:45:20.340 hey, everybody, get used to them.

00:45:22.920 Yeah.

00:45:23.060 Like why are we going to pretend like we're gazing past you?

00:45:25.700 Right, yeah.

00:45:26.300 Like I kept having to pretend.

00:45:27.720 I was like, what's that noise over there? 0.99

00:45:29.320 I wasn't looking at a fucking noise. 1.00

00:45:30.900 I'm looking at your crazy tits. 1.00

00:45:32.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:45:33.280 Your tits are insane. 1.00

00:45:34.660 Yeah, is that an owl? 1.00

00:45:35.680 Yeah, and then guys are like talking to me about other things. 0.99

00:45:37.840 I go, we're going to talk about her tits first. 1.00

00:45:39.720 Like, what are you doing? 0.99

00:45:41.880 And they're like, oh, yeah.

00:45:42.700 I'm like, what do you think we're going to like gloss over this? 0.99

00:45:45.220 Like her tits are out. 1.00

00:45:46.660 She has huge tits that are out in the room. 1.00

00:45:49.500 Yeah, it is weird not to just bring it up. 1.00

00:45:51.680 It's like when someone's in a wheelchair and they try to pretend they're not in a wheelchair.

00:45:54.760 Oh, my God, please. 1.00

00:45:56.320 Like, and tell me some shit. 1.00

00:45:57.800 How do you go to the bathroom? 1.00

00:45:58.960 Yeah.

00:45:59.200 You know, like, I want to know.

00:46:00.700 Or like, I almost hit my head on that door frame.

00:46:02.800 It's like, no, you didn't.

00:46:03.840 No, you didn't.

00:46:04.680 Yeah.

00:46:05.400 Give me a couple of lines about what it's like. 1.00

00:46:07.700 I'm going to tell you shit. 0.99

00:46:08.660 Like, I'm going to be like, hey, let's race. 1.00

00:46:09.660 Like, let's have a little fun with this.

00:46:11.160 Yeah. 0.98

00:46:11.260 Let's fucking get weird. 0.98

00:46:12.560 Yeah. 0.98

00:46:13.640 We had, who came out?

00:46:15.400 Oh, The Undertaker came out to the show last night.

00:46:18.080 Oh, dude.

00:46:18.940 Which is pretty crazy, dude.

00:46:20.220 I went to his house.

00:46:21.360 Nuh-uh.

00:46:22.040 Yes.

00:46:22.540 I think he heard he has a beautiful home.

00:46:23.840 He was just describing some of it, not like in a braggy way, just saying that they lived here.

00:46:27.880 He is.

00:46:29.140 You talked to him for a while?

00:46:30.420 Yeah.

00:46:30.820 Really nice.

00:46:31.960 The nicest, like one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

00:46:36.380 Him and his wife.

00:46:37.640 And?

00:46:38.320 And she had some bangers on her. 1.00

00:46:40.200 And I shouldn't say that out loud. 1.00

00:46:41.400 I mean, this is the damn Undertaker. 0.99

00:46:42.580 We're talking to who works for death. 1.00

00:46:43.980 Where was it?

00:46:44.520 Is this at the?

00:46:45.960 This is at the Paramount.

00:46:46.780 At the Paramount?

00:46:47.500 Yeah.

00:46:48.600 You had Ron there, too?

00:46:49.860 Yeah.

00:46:50.120 It was nice, man.

00:46:51.360 That's awesome, man.

00:46:52.220 God, Ron looks great for, I mean, Ron is like 48.

00:46:57.380 I think he's a little older. 0.99

00:46:59.020 He looks fucking great. 0.99

00:47:00.860 He looks great. 0.99

00:47:01.520 That head of hair, too. 0.99

00:47:02.780 God, you almost want to fucking scalp him. 0.99

00:47:04.780 Dude, you do. 1.00

00:47:05.880 You might get there.

00:47:06.740 You might have that one day.

00:47:07.900 We'll see, man. 0.97

00:47:08.780 Full head of white hair is pretty fucking cool, dude. 0.95

00:47:11.860 I would love that. 0.90

00:47:12.940 He is the coolest.

00:47:13.980 No, I went over to, it's so crazy to say it, The Undertaker's house.

00:47:19.920 And he was like, come on.

00:47:24.380 It was just to check out a piece of workout equipment.

00:47:27.520 Okay.

00:47:27.840 And the people that I was talking to, I was like, I'd like to, they're like, do you want this thing?

00:47:30.980 I go, I'd like to try it before I go, I want this thing.

00:47:34.200 Yeah.

00:47:34.640 And then they go, we could, like, I have another client that, you know, would let you.

00:47:39.280 Has one.

00:47:39.600 I go, okay.

00:47:41.340 And then they just, like, in a text, they were like, hey, Tom, this is Mark.

00:47:44.180 He has it.

00:47:44.680 And I was like, what's up, Mark?

00:47:46.820 And then, like, a separate text came in.

00:47:49.020 They're like, just so you know, Mark is The Undertaker.

00:47:50.460 I was like, oh, okay, good to know.

00:47:53.220 And then I just go over there.

00:47:55.060 And he just couldn't be, like, more gracious.

00:47:57.200 Oh, he's wearing an apron and everything.

00:47:58.820 I mean, he was, yeah, he was like, here's a muffin.

00:48:00.920 He was just like, no, but he was like, and then he was just like, yeah, try whatever you want.

00:48:05.900 And they gave us, like, the full tour.

00:48:07.420 And then he was like, well, it was a real pleasure meeting you.

00:48:10.420 And I was like, same.

00:48:11.860 Yeah.

00:48:12.260 And then later on, I go, thanks a lot for, you know, allowing us.

00:48:16.300 And he sent, like, the most, like, the most gracious text of, like, it was an absolute pleasure to welcome you into my home. 0.99

00:48:25.120 I was like, what the fuck is this, man? 0.98

00:48:27.000 Like, this is wild. 1.00

00:48:28.300 But death will sneak you like that, too.

00:48:30.340 That's what death would do.

00:48:31.640 That's true.

00:48:32.640 Come on over here.

00:48:33.320 It would kind of taunt you.

00:48:34.860 Yeah.

00:48:35.340 Yeah.

00:48:36.060 It seduce you.

00:48:36.980 Yeah.

00:48:37.560 Yeah.

00:48:38.160 So maybe I should watch out.

00:48:40.820 I mean, it's.

00:48:41.300 On the round mark.

00:48:42.320 Yeah, because if people bet on you or Bert to die, people would go, Bert, huh?

00:48:47.860 Of course.

00:48:48.960 Yeah.

00:48:49.740 Of course.

00:48:51.540 It looks worse every day, but.

00:48:53.260 I wonder what a parlay would he be like.

00:48:55.900 Yeah.

00:48:56.280 I just feel like.

00:48:57.460 Bloated, red, you know, growing head.

00:49:01.440 His head, it keeps growing, which is crazy.

00:49:03.260 His head is swelling.

00:49:06.100 Yeah.

00:49:06.300 That's a part for me.

00:49:07.340 So that's the smart money.

00:49:07.940 But then, like, that guy that owns that mattress company, he'd be like, I'm going to put 10 million on Tom.

00:49:13.340 Like, you know, like, he'd take the.

00:49:15.840 Dude, you guys, that guy lives in Texas.

00:49:17.620 You guys should get that guy.

00:49:19.040 Like, who's going to die?

00:49:19.840 He'd be like, thousand percent Tom.

00:49:21.240 No, because the vet's going to take for it to probably be a D at least a semi decent amount of time.

00:49:27.100 Yeah, that's true.

00:49:27.660 He's too old for that bet.

00:49:28.760 I think.

00:49:29.100 I don't know.

00:49:29.520 It'd be interesting.

00:49:30.260 I mean, Bert could.

00:49:31.000 If you bet the under on Bert, I think you could you could see some money.

00:49:33.820 This, you know.

00:49:34.460 Yeah.

00:49:35.060 You could see some money by 2028.

00:49:38.600 But yeah, that MRI on Bert must just come back. 0.99

00:49:41.500 Oh, fucking like the first part is appetizers. 0.98

00:49:43.940 You're like, how is this? 0.99

00:49:45.180 This that I remember appetizer.

00:49:47.060 He was doing the thing that people do who are, you know, who don't live healthy and are scared, which he was like avoiding like blood work and stuff.

00:49:56.640 Oh, yeah.

00:49:57.200 I was like, dude, you got to do it.

00:49:59.480 He's avoiding it, avoiding it.

00:50:00.580 And then he did it. 0.99

00:50:01.880 And you could see like he was like fidgeting and shit. 0.99

00:50:05.400 And you're like, what is going on? 0.98

00:50:06.400 He's like, just waiting for the phone call about my blood work.

00:50:10.080 I don't know. 1.00

00:50:10.400 And then you're like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:50:11.540 Like this, you know. 1.00

00:50:12.320 And honestly, like all joking aside, you could be like, you're like, this might be like a serious call you get.

00:50:17.160 Right.

00:50:18.220 And like then I just he FaceTimes me and he's like, what's up, bro?

00:50:22.660 And I was like, what's going on?

00:50:23.500 He's like, just got the phone. 0.98

00:50:25.120 Everything's fucking great. 0.98

00:50:26.080 And I was like, wait, what? 0.98

00:50:26.940 And he was like, the doctor told me to go celebrate with a drink.

00:50:29.540 I go, your doctor says that?

00:50:31.180 Like, what kind of doctor is this?

00:50:32.700 Did you meet them at a strip mall?

00:50:33.980 Like, he's like, he's like, I'm good to go.

00:50:36.760 And I was like, I don't know, man.

00:50:37.880 I'm going to give you the number of another doctor.

00:50:40.680 Yeah.

00:50:41.100 He was just like celebrating good blood work.

00:50:44.360 There's a Baskin Robbins in the distance of the FaceTime.

00:50:48.080 Doctors don't go drink it up tonight.

00:50:52.160 So, yeah.

00:50:53.520 That's interesting, dude.

00:50:55.240 You know, the sun can get you.

00:50:56.840 Sometimes you see somebody and their eyes are missing.

00:51:00.780 And you say, well, bang, what happened?

00:51:02.540 And the sun got in them.

00:51:03.980 They got too much sun in their eyes and they just, the eyes can't handle it and they leave.

00:51:10.480 They leave the body.

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00:54:07.700 Do you remember the first hit you ever saw as a child and how it went out?

00:54:26.900 How about the first hit I ever saw?

00:54:33.000 No.

00:54:33.920 I mean, you know what I do remember is, and this is really, it's sad that I feel like this generation doesn't, won't, just can't really experience this unless they make like a concerted effort.

00:54:47.040 It's that there used to be just like such an excitement around a woman in a bikini.

00:54:52.360 Oh, yeah.

00:54:52.860 Or if you just saw a breast, like just a nude woman, you were like, wow, right? 0.97

00:54:58.960 And then you realize that, like if you wanted to obviously to see something like hardcore, you really had to make a real effort.

00:55:06.780 Yeah.

00:55:06.960 And now like, you know, you pick up, people have their like pornography libraries in their pocket.

00:55:12.880 And so, like that excitement level is like, their bar for it is so elevated, which I think is kind of sad.

00:55:24.080 Yeah, really sad.

00:55:25.000 You know, they don't realize that, like, just like the idea of sex, the fantasy of it would be like enough for a long time. 1.00

00:55:33.900 And then you're exposed to things where you're like, whoa, shit. 0.99

00:55:36.480 And that's when it starts. 0.98

00:55:37.380 Like, that's when like you can really make a knock on that it's bad to have access to anything and everything.

00:55:43.300 I remember seeing like erotic art and being like, oh, this is actually pretty cool.

00:55:51.080 There's like these really great accounts on Instagram.

00:55:54.680 You realize if you like, if you see them, you're letting your mind do the thing.

00:55:59.360 Yeah.

00:55:59.520 And it's actually pretty cool.

00:56:00.660 I think it's actually a much healthier thing to do.

00:56:04.400 I ruin a lot of myself with pornography.

00:56:06.140 It's, yeah, I mean, like, and I'm very careful when I say it because I never like to bash them.

00:56:13.480 No.

00:56:13.640 Like, I feel like they're, you know, I know people in that industry.

00:56:18.680 Yeah, it's a great industry.

00:56:19.560 It's a lot of great people.

00:56:20.400 There's a lot of great people in there.

00:56:21.620 But I do feel like there's like anything, everything requires some balance.

00:56:27.280 Yeah.

00:56:27.700 And like you can go overboard on anything, on food, on drinking, and definitely on pornography or something.

00:56:32.600 And yeah, I just feel like it's, it's much better for you if you're young.

00:56:37.700 I would be like, you know, if you're in that age where you want to like explore that and you're, when I say young, I just mean like, you know.

00:56:43.980 Oh, yeah.

00:56:44.660 You know, you're getting into your sexual exploration.

00:56:48.620 Like, man, try erotic art and see what it does for your brain.

00:56:53.000 Like, let your brain tell you stories.

00:56:54.780 Yeah.

00:56:55.140 Because just like having this access to, like, just your search words and just seeing it play out, it's like, what'll happen is like, it's actually, it's not a theory.

00:57:06.520 Your brain starts to, with time, reduce the dopamine levels that you're feeling.

00:57:14.280 Like, you get a dopamine drip from that stuff.

00:57:16.600 But because all you have to do is type in what you like, then when you see it, you're like, oh, here's a little less.

00:57:23.840 And then the next search, you get a little less of it.

00:57:26.460 And then pretty soon, the thing that was exciting to you, it doesn't even give you a thrill.

00:57:31.800 That's why you hear people, they go, I had to raise the stakes.

00:57:34.680 I had to raise the stakes.

00:57:35.260 I had to raise the stakes.

00:57:35.740 And they just keep raising and getting crazier with it.

00:57:38.300 Getting weird.

00:57:38.800 Because it's too, like, if it's too easy to access, you're not going to feel the excitement.

00:57:44.480 You're not going to feel the rush.

00:57:45.460 I mean, when we were, like, coming up as, like, teens and stuff, I mean.

00:57:50.540 Oh, Peep and Tommen was popular.

00:57:52.040 Ah, dude.

00:57:52.980 You just, like.

00:57:53.900 You can see something.

00:57:54.900 I mean, your sister's friends would come over.

00:57:56.480 Oh, my God.

00:57:57.540 Just seeing them lay around, like, by the pool or, like, just hang out in the, watching a television on the couch.

00:58:05.540 You'd be like, this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened.

00:58:08.800 Oh, yeah.

00:58:09.520 Dude, I remember a girl asking me to hold her necklace while she swam one time. 0.99

00:58:13.360 And I fucking masturbated, like, three times. 1.00

00:58:16.620 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:58:17.540 Yeah.

00:58:18.200 Because I just had never even held something of a woman's world.

00:58:21.260 I totally understand.

00:58:22.680 I remember going to some girl's birthday party or something.

00:58:25.600 And she invited, like, all the kids from the class or whatever.

00:58:28.060 And, like, we would all, like, run into her sister's room and, like, try to find her underpants and stuff.

00:58:33.260 And, like.

00:58:34.060 I remember.

00:58:34.960 And I don't even know how old her sister was. 0.73

00:58:36.460 I might have been kind of, like.

00:58:37.800 Like, we shouldn't be in here, you know.

00:58:40.140 Oh, yeah.

00:58:40.280 But it was still, like, just being kids.

00:58:42.580 And, like.

00:58:43.880 I remember hiding in my buddy's hamper at his house.

00:58:47.440 Just to smell his mother's bras. 0.99

00:58:51.400 And I'd hide in there for a fucking hour and just huff those cubs. 1.00

00:58:54.560 Smell, yeah. 0.99

00:58:55.740 I bet that smell was. 0.99

00:58:57.360 God, it just fucking. 0.99

00:58:58.420 Do you still remember that smell? 1.00

00:58:59.540 I remember the color of the hamper.

00:59:02.020 It was, like, a green color they don't even make anymore.

00:59:04.780 Yeah.

00:59:05.680 It was, like, an old green.

00:59:07.020 Almost like the color of the Wonder Years car.

00:59:08.960 Like, the car that they had.

00:59:10.140 It was, like, an old kind of pukish green, almost. 0.81

00:59:14.400 That they wouldn't even mark it anymore.

00:59:16.720 God.

00:59:17.920 And it was just.

00:59:18.840 God.

00:59:19.200 But it was.

00:59:19.340 And it's just, like.

00:59:20.380 See, those are just.

00:59:21.500 Oh.

00:59:22.740 Little moments.

00:59:24.080 Yeah.

00:59:24.480 But now it's just, like, you put in something next thing you know.

00:59:27.240 And I think nowadays, by the time you're 17, you don't even care about sec.

00:59:30.180 You're, like, seeing it all. 0.99

00:59:31.380 You have no fucking desire. 0.99

00:59:32.180 That's no fun, dude. 1.00

00:59:32.920 That's not good for you.

00:59:33.860 It's horrible.

00:59:34.600 Yeah, it's horrible.

00:59:35.620 What else do we got?

00:59:36.440 Anything in the.

00:59:38.280 Anything in the news, Zach?

00:59:40.060 Yeah, we're looking at this.

00:59:41.660 The world's dirtiest man died.

00:59:44.240 Oh, I remember this guy.

00:59:45.340 I didn't.

00:59:46.100 Yeah.

00:59:46.980 This is actually.

00:59:48.020 And is that blackface or not? 0.72

00:59:50.140 It's a little bit.

00:59:51.960 I mean.

00:59:53.600 He had not bathed with water or soap for over 60 years.

00:59:58.220 Wow.

00:59:59.140 Yeah, read that caption. 0.99

01:00:00.100 I guess he would smoke a pipe filled with animal excrement.

01:00:03.860 And he believed that cleanliness would make him ill.

01:00:07.180 Dude, that's pretty interesting.

01:00:09.960 Because maybe cleanliness is what's killing us.

01:00:14.020 Too much.

01:00:15.520 Too much.

01:00:16.600 So, like.

01:00:17.380 If you think about in the history of human beings, it's only in the last.

01:00:22.160 I mean, not even 100 years.

01:00:24.640 Less than that.

01:00:25.320 Think about it.

01:00:25.640 It's probably in the last, like.

01:00:27.260 I don't know.

01:00:28.720 60 or something years.

01:00:30.160 That.

01:00:31.200 That human beings were like.

01:00:33.220 Hey.

01:00:33.800 Every day.

01:00:35.080 Yeah.

01:00:35.220 Maybe twice a day.

01:00:36.260 Mm.

01:00:37.140 Right?

01:00:37.640 With autism, too.

01:00:38.700 They're saying.

01:00:39.320 Yeah.

01:00:39.500 Like, a lot of autism could be caused by metals and different soaps and things like that.

01:00:46.160 Yeah.

01:00:47.100 Because this dude doesn't look like he has autism.

01:00:50.000 From this photo, I can't tell.

01:00:51.820 But he.

01:00:53.420 I remember seeing this dirty.

01:00:55.000 I mean.

01:00:55.720 I wonder, too.

01:00:56.400 Do you think there's just a level where you just stop smelling?

01:00:59.260 Like.

01:01:00.180 You know what I mean?

01:01:00.600 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:00.740 Like, a couple weeks in, you're like, you smell like shit, man. 1.00

01:01:03.160 Right? 1.00

01:01:03.520 Yeah.

01:01:03.720 Yeah.

01:01:03.880 But then after, like, I don't know, 30 years, you're just probably like, yeah.

01:01:06.940 It just kind of evens out.

01:01:08.520 Right?

01:01:08.860 Yeah.

01:01:09.140 Yeah.

01:01:09.500 Yeah.

01:01:09.760 Like, he maybe doesn't, I bet you he tastes real bad, but I bet you the smell just kind

01:01:14.860 of, it hit a level that your body, it's just trying to tell you a signal, stay away

01:01:19.340 from this.

01:01:20.240 Yeah.

01:01:21.160 Dude, when people can plant things on your back, that's probably a crazy time for somebody.

01:01:28.260 You know?

01:01:29.200 I wonder what I'd want to be the world's wettest man.

01:01:31.920 Did you ever have a Guinness Book of Records?

01:01:34.220 Did you ever have a record you wanted to try and get?

01:01:36.320 Even something small to you?

01:01:37.300 I was so fascinated by that.

01:01:38.940 Like, there's an age group where you're, like, an age range.

01:01:41.880 Oh, I was in that one.

01:01:42.680 That was the biggest, when that book came out at the book fair or whatever, it was like,

01:01:46.540 oh, dude, somebody did this.

01:01:48.160 Remember the Chinese kids all hanging off the bicycle? 1.00

01:01:50.720 Yeah.

01:01:51.120 It was like one guy had, like, 40 Chinese people on his bike. 0.60

01:01:54.440 There's so many weird, now they're even, like, they're so insane.

01:01:58.580 I remember, and also, it's funny, my seven-year-old has the, because they release books now of

01:02:04.360 it, like, each year.

01:02:05.540 He's, like, fascinated by it.

01:02:07.220 Just like, oh, the world record.

01:02:08.400 Yeah.

01:02:08.680 But I was watching their account, and this is, I was like, okay, this shows you where

01:02:13.280 it's at now.

01:02:13.900 It was a guy attempting to break the world record for the most pine needles broken at

01:02:21.600 one time.

01:02:22.780 Ooh.

01:02:23.440 And so he was hanging from, like, by one hand, and he's jumping into a box of pine needles.

01:02:30.340 And you're like, you guys are crediting this?

01:02:31.900 But that's when you're, like, I just need to be in the book.

01:02:36.040 I just want to be, you know?

01:02:37.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:37.840 But that makes you realize that we could definitely just come up with one where they'll be like,

01:02:42.340 yeah, there's no record for that yet.

01:02:43.620 Yeah.

01:02:44.000 Like, I mean.

01:02:45.340 Dude, you and Bert should get a Guinness record.

01:02:47.840 We should get a record.

01:02:48.920 You're right.

01:02:50.000 That is true.

01:02:50.720 It's got to be a tandem thing.

01:02:52.100 It would be interesting.

01:02:53.280 Yeah.

01:02:53.520 I feel like I could see you guys getting something very unique.

01:02:56.940 It's got to be. 0.99

01:02:57.560 But, like, that pine needles thing is so dumb. 0.99

01:02:59.580 Yeah. 0.98

01:02:59.940 And unimportant and not hard.

01:03:02.380 Like, that's not hard to do.

01:03:04.680 Like, you know what I mean? 0.98

01:03:05.420 It's not like if you heard, you'd be like, damn, I could never do that. 0.94

01:03:08.600 Like, you know, you can do that. 0.98

01:03:10.200 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:10.880 I want you guys to meet Larry, you know, and we did all the pine needles.

01:03:14.060 I used to have, like, when I was younger, like, crazy flexibility with my index finger.

01:03:19.260 That's pretty good.

01:03:19.860 And I used to be able to, like, lay it flat against my hand.

01:03:23.220 Oh, wow.

01:03:24.020 You know?

01:03:24.460 And I remember having the illusion in my mind that in some way.

01:03:28.300 I'm going to do something with this.

01:03:29.100 This will get me in the book in some way.

01:03:31.360 Like, I could go, like, lay flat.

01:03:34.840 That's really good.

01:03:36.240 I'll be that little trebuchet or I'll do something.

01:03:38.320 Yeah.

01:03:38.840 Yeah.

01:03:39.320 Yeah.

01:03:39.760 I'll work for a castle or something.

01:03:41.580 But I was actually, I think, as little, as, like, young boys, we were just fascinated by,

01:03:45.720 just remember, like, Robert Wadlow, like, the tallest guy ever. 0.99

01:03:48.860 I was like, oh, shit. 0.98

01:03:49.200 Yes, I remember seeing pictures of him. 0.99

01:03:50.620 He's, like, 8'11".

01:03:51.580 Mm-hmm.

01:03:51.920 And then there was, like, the fattest guy.

01:03:53.560 He was, like, I don't know, like, 800 pounds.

01:03:55.380 Like, anything that was, like, this is a huge person, I was like, that's, yeah.

01:04:00.180 Yeah, that was him right there.

01:04:03.020 Yeah.

01:04:03.200 God, he was from Illinois, I think, wasn't he?

01:04:06.000 Was he?

01:04:06.400 I'm just guessing, but he seems like they grow some long stuff out there.

01:04:10.720 God, they sure do.

01:04:11.660 I would hate that, man.

01:04:13.020 I think.

01:04:13.040 That's the worst.

01:04:14.180 You would never want to be, everybody wants to be taller.

01:04:16.780 You don't want to be that tall.

01:04:18.180 Yeah, he was from Illinois.

01:04:19.780 Alton.

01:04:20.520 And was it 8?

01:04:21.240 It was 8 something?

01:04:21.920 Was he, like, 8?

01:04:24.460 Look at him with his family down there on the left.

01:04:26.480 God.

01:04:26.960 Yeah, he was 8'11".

01:04:28.460 Yeah.

01:04:28.740 Oh.

01:04:29.120 8'11".

01:04:30.320 Do you think about that for a second?

01:04:32.880 That this dude is nearly two feet taller than Shaq.

01:04:37.760 Wow.

01:04:38.540 Two feet taller than him.

01:04:42.160 That's so.

01:04:42.960 Look at how strange it would have been.

01:04:45.460 Yeah.

01:04:46.400 To be that. 0.75

01:04:48.580 Yeah, it seems like, I mean, they are at perfect blowjob height, but it's still, like, it's not what you want.

01:04:57.540 Now, that would be interesting. 0.69

01:04:59.420 Right.

01:04:59.720 To stand there and have someone, and they're standing as well.

01:05:02.600 I think it would feel very informed, like, or just natural, more natural than somebody having to get down on their knees.

01:05:10.500 Yeah.

01:05:10.620 Or you having to lay down.

01:05:11.580 Like, oh, here I am, here you are.

01:05:13.300 A girl told me that she dated a very well-known NBA player who was really tall.

01:05:21.520 And she was like, yeah, I could just blow him standing up. 1.00

01:05:25.120 And I was like, wow.

01:05:26.340 That's got to be interesting.

01:05:27.320 I was like, everybody's proud of you.

01:05:28.420 Yeah.

01:05:28.700 It's really cool.

01:05:29.360 Yeah.

01:05:29.760 Yeah.

01:05:30.460 What a great memory.

01:05:32.320 Yeah.

01:05:33.480 Think about what he's done and what you've done.

01:05:35.360 It's pretty incredible.

01:05:36.500 Yeah.

01:05:36.880 Yeah.

01:05:37.140 Yeah.

01:05:37.400 He's got a couple rings and you remember standing up to blow them.

01:05:41.080 Oh, sake.

01:05:43.800 Yeah, there's definitely something about it.

01:05:45.300 It would almost be like using a water fountain that you didn't have to bend over to use.

01:05:49.240 Yeah, exactly.

01:05:50.400 How nice would that be?

01:05:51.380 You just go.

01:05:51.760 And it just shoots right down your mouth.

01:05:56.360 It'd be a lot.

01:05:57.540 Garth Brooks.

01:05:59.380 What happened?

01:06:00.600 Oh, yeah.

01:06:00.920 I saw this.

01:06:01.380 Garth Brooks is, he's going to have Bud Light at his bar, Tommy.

01:06:04.960 Yeah.

01:06:05.400 He's not going to.

01:06:06.080 He's refusing to ban it.

01:06:08.100 That's hilarious.

01:06:09.580 Yeah.

01:06:09.940 Wow.

01:06:10.220 His explanation is right down here.

01:06:12.980 I know it sounds corny.

01:06:13.780 I want it to be the Chick-fil-A of Honky Tonks about his new bar in Nashville.

01:06:19.800 I want it to be a place you feel safe in.

01:06:21.340 I want it to be a place where you feel like there are manners and people like one another.

01:06:25.680 And he added something there.

01:06:30.480 Yes, we're going.

01:06:30.980 Sorry.

01:06:31.440 Go down.

01:06:31.880 If you go down, he says, and yes, we're going to serve every brand of beer.

01:06:35.560 We just are.

01:06:36.800 It's not our decision to make.

01:06:38.160 Well, yeah, it is your decision to make.

01:06:39.680 Yeah.

01:06:40.260 Our thing is this.

01:06:41.280 If you are into this house, love one another. 1.00

01:06:45.420 If you're an asshole, there are plenty of other places on Lower Broadway. 1.00

01:06:49.160 Oh, wow. 1.00

01:06:50.100 Shots fired, kind of.

01:06:51.660 Yeah.

01:06:52.320 And there it is, Dylan Mulvaney.

01:06:54.160 They're going to get in there.

01:06:55.080 Do you want to hear something that I just heard?

01:06:57.420 Yeah.

01:06:57.940 So I've talked about him quite a bit, about Garth Brooks.

01:07:01.460 I know you guys have had some issues.

01:07:03.060 And I found out, this is, dude, I found out, first I got word about a year ago from like

01:07:11.480 a 100% reliable source.

01:07:14.220 Sounds, seems good.

01:07:16.040 That I was like, does he know?

01:07:17.840 And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, he knows.

01:07:20.860 And I was like, is he upset?

01:07:21.840 And they're like, he's just like, doesn't get it.

01:07:24.560 Like, doesn't know why you're talking about him.

01:07:27.300 I was like, okay.

01:07:28.820 And then recently, I guess, so he just blocked me on Instagram.

01:07:33.180 Oh.

01:07:33.400 And I was like, oh, it's finally, he finally blocked me, you know?

01:07:38.780 And then the person, another person told me, they go, yeah, I heard, this person said to

01:07:44.320 me that they heard from a reliable source that when my name comes up to him, that he

01:07:52.140 on his phone shows the video of me playing basketball and falling, and he goes, karma.

01:07:59.600 Yeah.

01:08:00.240 Karma.

01:08:00.980 Yeah. 0.99

01:08:01.900 And I was like, that's fucking pretty amazing. 0.99

01:08:04.940 Wow. 0.99

01:08:05.520 That a serial killer is finding it in their heart to say karma for the other person.

01:08:11.580 Like, this man has, I mean, people are saying this man is responsible for hundreds of missing

01:08:18.700 people, and he's going to say that it's karma.

01:08:23.280 Well, yes, somebody matched up, I saw something where they matched up, like, his tour dates

01:08:26.500 with missing people.

01:08:27.440 That's the whole, like, that's the premise of this idea.

01:08:29.720 Like, people are, like, saying that I'm, you know, like, trolling the guy.

01:08:33.860 All I'm doing is repeating what I have heard, that allegedly his tour schedule aligns with,

01:08:39.980 like, dozens of missing persons.

01:08:42.940 And so, I mean, it's just something that, like, at least you would bring up and talk.

01:08:47.440 It's like, why do people talk about UFOs, you know?

01:08:51.220 Why have the conversation about something in the, like, well, because people are saying

01:08:56.620 that that could be a visitor from another planet.

01:08:59.920 Right.

01:09:00.160 Like, are we not going to have even a conversation about it?

01:09:02.620 Right.

01:09:02.840 If 75 people are missing, and they're all in cities that, like, he had just done.

01:09:11.500 He's been in.

01:09:11.920 I mean, it's logical to say, well, okay.

01:09:15.680 And look at him there.

01:09:16.660 You're telling me.

01:09:17.420 I'm not saying he's done anything.

01:09:18.980 But that's the smile and the stare of a guy who has never done anything illegal?

01:09:26.480 I don't know.

01:09:27.540 And how much land he has, too.

01:09:29.960 So much land.

01:09:30.860 You wouldn't even know if somebody was missing or if you'd put somebody somewhere or not.

01:09:35.400 So much land.

01:09:36.400 He's the Easter bunny of bodies, kind of.

01:09:38.800 Oh, yeah.

01:09:40.340 And he's so, here's the thing.

01:09:42.180 It's the perfect, you're so beloved.

01:09:43.720 Huh?

01:09:44.100 That, like.

01:09:44.700 Oh, yeah.

01:09:45.080 No one would see it.

01:09:45.620 Imagine the authorities, too.

01:09:46.800 They'd be like, I'm sorry.

01:09:48.140 We were, this is crazy.

01:09:49.960 But we actually had a dog that can smell, you know, a corpse.

01:09:56.560 And it was on your property.

01:09:58.080 And it just went crazy.

01:10:00.020 And then he'd be like, I don't, I'm Garth Brooks.

01:10:03.000 Yeah.

01:10:03.180 And they're like.

01:10:03.840 Yeah.

01:10:04.280 You're right.

01:10:04.780 You're right.

01:10:05.440 Sorry.

01:10:05.920 We're going to head on out.

01:10:06.980 Yeah.

01:10:07.140 We signed this for my son.

01:10:09.740 Yeah, exactly.

01:10:10.540 The dog actually had a seizure on your property.

01:10:13.580 Never had a smell like that in his life.

01:10:16.060 But.

01:10:16.660 My son actually went missing on your property.

01:10:19.200 In case he comes back, we signed this for him.

01:10:21.120 Sign his guitar.

01:10:21.820 Yeah.

01:10:22.020 So much.

01:10:22.940 Appreciate you, G.

01:10:25.280 That's it, man.

01:10:26.380 I.

01:10:28.900 Yeah.

01:10:29.360 Do you think.

01:10:31.300 Has there been some.

01:10:32.440 Has there been like a really interesting guest that came out?

01:10:34.460 I know Brad Pitt came out to one of your shows, which had to have been really insane.

01:10:37.760 That was really insane.

01:10:39.040 That was really insane.

01:10:40.200 Is it almost.

01:10:41.060 Is it almost a.

01:10:42.940 Is it a bummer meeting people that like.

01:10:45.500 Because once you meet them, you kind of have met them.

01:10:47.580 Is there something about that?

01:10:49.640 I think that probably can happen.

01:10:52.720 But then there's people where you're like, that was awesome.

01:10:56.140 And they're either as cool or cooler than your brain imagines.

01:11:02.060 Yeah.

01:11:02.400 He was like that.

01:11:03.300 He was rad.

01:11:04.180 Yeah.

01:11:04.440 He was really cool.

01:11:05.520 And there was so much excitement.

01:11:07.140 Like when.

01:11:08.480 Because they go, he's coming.

01:11:10.180 And then like security came to like check out the place.

01:11:13.600 Yeah.

01:11:13.860 Yeah.

01:11:14.100 Just like.

01:11:14.580 Not a big team.

01:11:15.520 But just like.

01:11:16.660 You know.

01:11:16.980 It's not.

01:11:17.300 I mean, honestly, somebody in his position should have that.

01:11:19.700 That's a good point.

01:11:20.300 Like because basically I asked.

01:11:21.860 I was like, so what do you do?

01:11:23.080 Like he's like, well, if I see that like a place is a problem, I'll just be like, I don't

01:11:28.040 think you should come here.

01:11:29.200 Yeah.

01:11:29.420 You know, like a club or like a restaurant or like it's not good area.

01:11:33.600 And he's like, you know, he's just like seeing where, where things are.

01:11:37.220 And he's like, so I just, I'm like his advanced guy.

01:11:39.200 It was like, it was pretty low key, honestly.

01:11:42.100 But then they were like, yo, Brad just parked.

01:11:44.200 Everybody was like that.

01:11:46.340 And then he came in, he couldn't have been, he just couldn't have been nicer.

01:11:50.320 And like, you know, talk to introduce those.

01:11:52.380 The funniest is when a very famous person was like, hey, I'm Brad.

01:11:55.060 And everyone's like, yeah, I know.

01:11:56.200 You know, like, but he was just super nice.

01:11:58.760 And I thought a lot of times I've had other notable people.

01:12:02.960 And what they do is they, they, they, they leave during something, you know, like famous

01:12:09.600 people go like, they just kind of disappear.

01:12:11.940 He stayed the whole show, came back after the show.

01:12:14.680 So, um, he was enjoying it.

01:12:16.900 He enjoyed it.

01:12:17.500 And then, um, that was, it was a lot of fun.

01:12:20.060 Then, uh, I ran into, well, I ended up befriending Jason Momoa, Aquaman.

01:12:26.220 Oh yeah.

01:12:26.900 In, in New Zealand.

01:12:28.240 Wow.

01:12:28.840 And that was really fun.

01:12:29.800 And I hung out with him for another day.

01:12:32.080 Did y'all swim or anything?

01:12:33.460 No, we, we went to a bar and we hung out with like, I don't know, a group for like 10

01:12:39.500 hours.

01:12:40.360 Dang.

01:12:41.120 But he couldn't have been like, he's a real down to earth guy.

01:12:44.040 Mm-hmm.

01:12:44.560 Yeah.

01:12:45.000 So we met at, we met at the hotel gym.

01:12:46.940 No, that's cool.

01:12:48.540 He was like, I'll crouch down.

01:12:49.820 You make you look taller.

01:12:50.880 I was like, cool, man.

01:12:52.140 Um, oh, you look pretty happy right there.

01:12:54.300 It was fun.

01:12:54.800 We had, we had a fun time.

01:12:56.540 Um, yeah.

01:12:58.060 You know, and then Izzy came out in Auckland too. 0.96

01:13:00.380 He, he, he, I feel like he comes out.

01:13:01.620 He's a really special guy.

01:13:02.820 He's a, he's a cool, uh, man.

01:13:04.780 There's something really interesting about him.

01:13:06.340 There's something really amazing about New Zealanders in general.

01:13:08.900 There is, there is.

01:13:10.080 Yeah.

01:13:10.460 And I think he has a, a really, it's a, fighters are fascinating to sign up for that lifestyle.

01:13:18.600 You know what I mean?

01:13:19.320 Like to be like, I'm going to, I'm going to do battle for a living.

01:13:22.880 That was two tours.

01:13:24.100 That was like in 2019.

01:13:25.300 But yeah, he, he came again in this most recent tour.

01:13:28.740 And, um, I just, uh, I just enjoy the guy's energy, you know, just being around him, just

01:13:36.440 being around him.

01:13:37.480 And, uh, very inspirational, whether he wins or loses, they're very, he's very inspirational.

01:13:40.940 A lot of these fighters are like that.

01:13:42.360 There's something about a lot of them, whether they win or lose, cause you just value so much

01:13:46.540 that they even could do it.

01:13:47.980 Because they're, they're actually really putting it.

01:13:50.000 It's, it's, you know what it is like inherently human beings.

01:13:53.060 We respect stakes.

01:13:54.500 And if you're a fighter, the stakes are very clear.

01:13:57.580 Like you're, you're putting your, your physical body on the line to, to win or lose.

01:14:03.700 And so everybody, we, we just respect the fact that like, you're going to like punch and 1.00

01:14:08.780 kick and like, you know, to your fucking face. 0.99

01:14:11.500 And like, there's, this could have like real lasting effect. 0.99

01:14:13.740 So we just respect it so much, but I like that dude's energy.

01:14:18.400 Um, and it, and I do find it inspiring to be around him.

01:14:21.360 I like him a lot.

01:14:22.340 Yeah.

01:14:22.980 Yeah.

01:14:23.300 There's something real special about him.

01:14:24.980 Yeah.

01:14:25.440 Um,

01:14:25.920 I was trying to think if I had anything else I wanted to ask you, Zach, anything coming

01:14:29.840 ahead?

01:14:31.580 Um, we're watching this video, this like short guy standing up to these dudes in a parking

01:14:37.880 garage.

01:14:38.320 What do you think? 1.00

01:14:40.880 And I'm fucking ready. 0.99

01:14:44.200 This is a tough guy right here. 0.99

01:14:46.260 Uh-oh, somebody's black. 1.00

01:14:47.440 Get up out of here, bro. 0.99

01:15:00.400 Get in the car and go. 1.00

01:15:01.860 Could be on this dumb ass shit. 1.00

01:15:03.460 Security trying to save you. 1.00

01:15:04.440 Ben trying to save you.

01:15:05.160 God bless you, man.

01:15:06.620 Get in your car and get up out of here, man.

01:15:08.220 God bless you, man.

01:15:11.580 God bless you, man.

01:15:13.120 Just go ahead and get in the car and make your home safe, man.

01:15:16.640 God bless you.

01:15:17.120 You know how good he feels right now?

01:15:18.040 I'm so good, dude. 1.00

01:15:19.860 Fucking Lee Syatt is like, I fucking took this shit down. 1.00

01:15:22.760 Make your home safe, buddy. 1.00

01:15:23.880 Damn, dude, Lee Syatt, bro. 1.00

01:15:27.780 How fucked up did Joey Diaz get that guy here? 1.00

01:15:30.780 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:15:32.080 How is there not a call to a welfare line or something for that guy, dude?

01:15:35.060 Can I tell you something, too?

01:15:36.080 Because I love Joey Diaz, but he was actually like a virus to that man.

01:15:41.020 Like, do you know what has happened to Lee since party?

01:15:43.780 He lost 150 pounds.

01:15:45.400 Not an exaggeration.

01:15:47.180 150 pounds.

01:15:49.000 He's like, oh, free of Joey?

01:15:51.080 Like, he just totally has, like, blossomed.

01:15:54.100 Look at him.

01:15:54.540 Oh, my God, dude.

01:15:56.080 He looks, yeah, he looks good, huh?

01:15:57.800 He looks exactly like the guy we just saw in the last video.

01:16:00.100 Yeah, he does, dude. 0.99

01:16:01.700 Holy shit. 1.00

01:16:02.640 Look at him. 1.00

01:16:03.700 Congrats to Lee.

01:16:04.960 Yeah, Joey.

01:16:05.660 He'd be like, you're not doing well enough, Lee.

01:16:07.240 You need another couple 2,000 milligrams, dude.

01:16:10.080 Lee's remember they were wearing floaties.

01:16:11.440 I'd never seen somebody so high.

01:16:14.360 They had floaties on.

01:16:15.860 And here's the thing.

01:16:16.700 Lee couldn't say anything, so he would be like, I'd be like, Lee.

01:16:19.420 And he'd go, yeah.

01:16:20.580 I was like, are you all right?

01:16:21.820 He was like, oh.

01:16:22.960 And he'd forget to, like, click.

01:16:25.280 He was just sitting there, snoring, sitting down, like, snoring in his seat. 1.00

01:16:31.780 And then Joey's like, look at this fucking idiot. 1.00

01:16:34.000 He's like, you know what he does all day? 1.00

01:16:35.400 He watches SportsCenter.

01:16:36.520 I hear his phone go, da-na-na, da-na-na. 1.00

01:16:38.940 Get your fucking shit together, Lee. 1.00

01:16:40.180 I'm like, you are crippling this man. 1.00

01:16:43.260 SportsCenter is all he can handle.

01:16:44.880 He's working at Enterprise Rental now, dude. 0.99

01:16:48.400 He's fucking doing good. 0.96

01:16:51.040 Wow, yeah. 0.98

01:16:52.060 There should be a documentary one day made on Joey and Lee and, like, coming back together.

01:16:58.160 Where they meet at a park by a lake.

01:17:00.040 Is this them recently?

01:17:01.300 That might be an old picture.

01:17:02.900 It was nothing like those two.

01:17:04.380 They were like, who was a better name?

01:17:06.980 A better comedy duo.

01:17:07.560 You know what this is like, though?

01:17:08.840 This is like the guy on the left, Lee, gets locked up in prison with the veteran.

01:17:16.720 You know, the guy that's been locked up.

01:17:18.080 That's what their relationship was like.

01:17:19.220 It's exactly what it was like.

01:17:19.780 Here's what you're going to do, all right? 0.99

01:17:21.460 You stay away from the blacks. 1.00

01:17:22.640 You mind your business. 1.00

01:17:23.400 You shower when I shower. 1.00

01:17:25.740 And, like, and then you eat this shit. 1.00

01:17:28.020 It's just, like, in another dimension. 1.00

01:17:30.360 Yeah, brother.

01:17:31.000 He's 84 ounces of Alfredo. 0.76

01:17:33.680 Dude, he would melt his brain.

01:17:35.500 Unreal. 0.99

01:17:36.440 He would melt his brain.

01:17:38.120 Dude, what was the time?

01:17:39.020 One of my favorite times ever. 0.99

01:17:39.980 When I got there, there was, look at that fucking pillow somebody made. 0.99

01:17:44.060 Have you done, have you seen the one, have you seen the one on, where Lee is, like, he falls asleep alone on. 0.99

01:17:53.340 On the show?

01:17:54.340 Yeah, I think he's, like, he's working it. 1.00

01:17:55.940 And then he's, like, and he comes to, he's, like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:17:58.160 Like, he just, it's, it's, I've watched it. 1.00

01:18:00.900 He's so fucking high. 0.97

01:18:02.580 He's so good. 1.00

01:18:03.240 That he falls asleep and wakes himself up.

01:18:06.000 And he's, like, I don't even know what's happening.

01:18:07.720 I don't know.

01:18:08.240 He's, like, he's streaming or something, like, on Twitch.

01:18:11.540 I don't know what, but it's on YouTube.

01:18:13.000 And it's, it is, it's so amazing.

01:18:15.740 It's, like, Lee.

01:18:16.920 Dude, the best, one time I went in and there was a squeal in the headphones when I went in.

01:18:20.600 Yeah.

01:18:20.740 I was, like, Lee, there's some feedback or something.

01:18:23.000 By the end, two and a half hours later, Lee was like this.

01:18:27.840 He was the squeal.

01:18:29.240 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:29.720 And we had gone full fucking circle, man. 0.99

01:18:31.700 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:32.340 Kick that mule, Lee. 1.00

01:18:34.080 Look, look, look. 0.94

01:18:35.560 And listen, listen to the audio.

01:18:38.240 He's broadcasting right now. 1.00

01:18:43.060 Oh, damn, dude. 1.00

01:18:50.900 He's fucking out of his mind, dude. 1.00

01:18:54.740 That's a good place. 0.99

01:18:55.860 And that's just, that is, if Joey is really close to you, this happens to you.

01:19:01.380 Oh, yeah.

01:19:02.400 When he drugged me.

01:19:03.660 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:04.400 He fucking tricked me. 0.99

01:19:06.720 He's done it a couple times, but the worst one was when I was in Miami. 0.99

01:19:09.820 Uh-huh.

01:19:10.160 And he told me I was taking a 10. 0.99

01:19:14.780 And it just fucking, it ruined two days of my life. 0.99

01:19:17.760 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:19:17.960 Right?

01:19:18.460 Like, two days of my life. 0.99

01:19:20.960 And, I mean, I was, like, just, I mean, I was crying and shit. 0.98

01:19:27.720 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:19:28.760 I was on a flight with him.

01:19:30.600 Oh.

01:19:31.220 And he's, like, oh, you need a baby Xanax right now.

01:19:34.800 Yeah.

01:19:34.900 I was, like, for what?

01:19:35.280 He goes, even you out. 0.99

01:19:36.120 I'm, like, I don't think this is the fucking formula. 0.99

01:19:37.540 You need a chewable, son. 0.99

01:19:38.600 Yeah.

01:19:38.880 Get a chewable.

01:19:40.060 And I go, dude.

01:19:41.360 And when I finally, like, recovered, I called him. 0.99

01:19:44.120 I was, like, what the fuck, dude? 0.99

01:19:45.340 He goes, you needed it. 1.00

01:19:46.140 I go, I needed what?

01:19:47.580 You needed a reset.

01:19:48.640 And I go, why did I need one?

01:19:50.040 He's, like, it's good for you.

01:19:51.580 I saw what was happening.

01:19:53.000 Like, this kind of vague.

01:19:54.100 Oh, yeah.

01:19:54.180 He always says that.

01:19:55.120 What was happening?

01:19:56.060 He's, like, nah, you know, you were getting, you know, a little.

01:19:59.020 It's good now.

01:19:59.540 Now you're ready to go.

01:20:00.400 I'm, like, ready to go?

01:20:01.900 Where am I going?

01:20:03.340 Yeah, I'm at a greyhound station.

01:20:04.620 Yeah, man.

01:20:05.120 I was fine.

01:20:06.320 He's, like, no, no, no.

01:20:07.220 I did you a fair.

01:20:07.820 It was fun.

01:20:08.460 I go, for who?

01:20:11.220 He is, dude.

01:20:12.140 He's the best salesman, bro.

01:20:13.760 Yeah.

01:20:14.000 He just says, like, these little.

01:20:15.240 And he says it with his, like, little phrase.

01:20:16.800 Doing great, yeah.

01:20:17.680 Yeah.

01:20:17.880 And you're, like, that's.

01:20:18.440 Yeah, I love you, buddy.

01:20:19.660 Yeah.

01:20:19.920 And you're, like.

01:20:20.280 Now you get back to chopping up vinegar and carrots. 1.00

01:20:24.120 And you're, like, the fuck are you talking about, man? 0.99

01:20:25.780 What about that Owen Benjamin? 1.00

01:20:26.880 Oh, he's fucking lost his mind, huh? 1.00

01:20:28.800 He'll say shit like that and then fucking just disappear, dude. 1.00

01:20:32.380 Unreal. 1.00

01:20:34.100 Un-fucking-real, dude. 0.97

01:20:37.660 Look, if that doesn't do it, I don't know what does. 0.75

01:20:41.080 Tom Segura, thanks for hanging out with us, man.

01:20:42.840 Yeah, it was a lot of fun, man.

01:20:43.840 Yeah, same here, dude.

01:20:44.660 I'd love to come back on Two Bears sometime.

01:20:47.140 That was a blast, bro.

01:20:47.860 Let's do it.

01:20:48.420 Let's do it.

01:20:48.960 All right.

01:20:49.260 Thank you so much, man.

01:20:50.020 All right, buddy.

01:20:50.580 Thank you.

01:20:51.140 Now I'm just floating on the breeze.

01:20:53.760 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:20:56.760 That was great, man.

01:20:57.420 I must be a cornerstone.

01:20:59.980 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:21:07.480 I can feel it in my bones.

01:21:11.760 But it's gonna take...

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 27, 2023

E450 Tom Segura

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