This Past Weekend with Theo Von

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00:00:55.440 visible.com for planned features and network management details and we actually have some

00:01:02.720 new merch this is new merch stuff from bgty some beautiful colorways there for the summertime

00:01:09.840 things that uh are good for men and women both uh gender and um and also we have the new rat king

00:01:17.360 these new rat king summer tees and shorts and you can check all those out only at theovonstore.com

00:01:23.440 um we know there's some other stores out there but those aren't ours and uh i love this shirt my

00:01:30.880 sister loves this shirt and uh thank you guys for the support i'm here today at the win casino uh in

00:01:37.760 the green room we just got off the stage and so grateful to be here had a wonderful show on sunday night

00:01:43.120 uh today's guest is an actor a comedian um he's a creator and a star of the hit show workaholics and

00:01:54.720 he has a new movie on netflix that drops it's it's i think it's on right now um today's guest is mr adam

00:02:02.400 divine

00:02:18.720 And I will find a song

00:02:22.320 I've been singing

00:02:23.520 Gross.

00:02:30.520 Gross much?

00:02:32.360 You're in Nashville and here, huh?

00:02:34.640 That's what friends are for.

00:02:37.840 God.

00:02:39.920 Friends.

00:02:41.420 Sparkling.

00:02:43.080 Brought to you by Celsius.

00:02:45.580 I'll have some.

00:02:46.460 Crack one open.

00:02:49.320 Zip, zip.

00:02:50.480 Dude, remember they used to have

00:02:52.680 that commercial about the mustard

00:02:54.740 in the car or whatever?

00:02:56.140 Like the Grey Poupon.

00:02:57.360 Yeah, remember that?

00:02:58.340 Yeah, I do.

00:02:59.600 And everybody, yeah, it was like,

00:03:01.380 it was so, yeah.

00:03:03.740 And every dad and uncle would be like,

00:03:06.120 pass the Grey Poupon.

00:03:07.780 And you're like, bitch, we don't have that.

00:03:09.460 We just got that yellow stuff.

00:03:12.140 Yeah, we don't have that

00:03:12.860 because you're a construction worker.

00:03:14.900 Yeah, dad, you work for the railroad.

00:03:16.780 We don't have Grey Poupon here.

00:03:18.360 Yeah, dude.

00:03:19.220 That doesn't go on our bratwursts.

00:03:22.580 Yeah, we had this guy.

00:03:24.320 This guy on Mom Day,

00:03:25.340 he used to be like,

00:03:25.940 pass that yellow ketchup,

00:03:27.520 he would say.

00:03:28.960 Yellow ketchup?

00:03:29.860 Yeah, that's what he used to call it, dude.

00:03:30.720 This is cool, man.

00:03:31.640 I think he was in like a war or something.

00:03:33.200 He had some like,

00:03:34.080 he might have had like some,

00:03:36.060 he was in like Iwo Jima or something.

00:03:37.800 But let me see this.

00:03:38.880 There it is right there.

00:03:39.660 That's the guy.

00:03:40.920 Yeah, that's the guy, dude.

00:03:42.400 Well, it looks like there was a lot of different guys

00:03:44.200 over the years.

00:03:45.520 They didn't stick with the one spokesman.

00:03:50.520 Yeah, that was,

00:03:51.300 this was like,

00:03:51.940 and this was for a lot of,

00:03:53.220 this was the richest guy we'd ever seen

00:03:55.300 when they had this.

00:03:56.220 We were like, no.

00:03:57.520 Well, also,

00:03:58.100 this is still the richest guy I've ever seen.

00:04:00.140 Who eats with a full-on TV tray

00:04:02.820 in the back of their car?

00:04:04.800 That's pretty awesome.

00:04:05.560 That's sick.

00:04:07.540 That's sick, dude.

00:04:08.400 That's pretty.

00:04:09.380 That's Rolls-Royce.

00:04:10.200 Every time I'm like,

00:04:11.000 I don't really want like a real fancy car

00:04:12.880 because I don't give a shit, you know?

00:04:14.420 Yeah.

00:04:14.620 But then like,

00:04:15.300 I'll see a Rolls-Royce.

00:04:17.040 I'll see like DJ Khaled

00:04:18.420 in a Rolls-Royce or something.

00:04:19.640 I'm like,

00:04:20.400 oh, that looks pretty cool though.

00:04:22.140 There's like,

00:04:22.580 there's like feet warmers

00:04:24.800 and like just the back part

00:04:27.120 can be a convertible,

00:04:28.280 which is kind of sick.

00:04:29.420 Really?

00:04:29.820 I've never seen that.

00:04:30.600 Oh yeah.

00:04:31.360 Yeah, DJ Khaled.

00:04:32.040 I haven't seen that.

00:04:33.200 Yeah.

00:04:33.420 Yeah, I think,

00:04:35.340 yeah, when I see like a super,

00:04:38.180 I don't know.

00:04:39.320 I don't like,

00:04:40.140 I think the fancier you get,

00:04:42.160 the fancier you can get used to.

00:04:44.800 And that to me always seems like super spooky.

00:04:47.900 Yeah, because then all of a sudden,

00:04:49.260 you know,

00:04:49.600 yeah, look at that.

00:04:50.180 Look at the back convertible.

00:04:51.500 That's sick.

00:04:52.600 That is kind of neat.

00:04:53.840 That's so cool.

00:04:55.100 But that's like,

00:04:55.660 hey driver,

00:04:56.560 you don't deserve to be in a convertible.

00:04:58.700 But then also like,

00:04:59.360 then you have to have a driver all the time.

00:05:01.620 Like if you're like quickly,

00:05:02.500 you just want to go smash some Carl's Jr.

00:05:04.680 or something.

00:05:05.460 And then you got to like call in the driver.

00:05:07.420 Yeah.

00:05:07.880 That's a lot.

00:05:08.800 Yeah, that's true.

00:05:09.560 That's too much.

00:05:10.640 And people don't realize this.

00:05:11.920 Somebody took me one time on a ride in a Rolls Royce or whatever.

00:05:16.580 And they said,

00:05:17.460 we had to park so far away because they didn't want anybody dinging the doors or anything.

00:05:23.600 So we had to find a spot like in a lot that was like,

00:05:27.220 you know,

00:05:27.560 it was probably a half mile away from,

00:05:29.140 from the city,

00:05:30.100 from the city.

00:05:31.640 Yeah.

00:05:32.340 You got to then get a car to get into the city.

00:05:34.220 That sucks, dude.

00:05:37.340 You know,

00:05:37.540 I take it back.

00:05:38.200 I don't,

00:05:38.400 I don't need a Rolls.

00:05:39.500 Yeah.

00:05:39.740 We don't need that.

00:05:40.900 What do you drive?

00:05:41.860 You're like a Rolls Royce.

00:05:45.280 Yeah.

00:05:45.820 I want to get in the backseat,

00:05:47.180 but someone needs to drive the damn thing.

00:05:48.600 That's true.

00:05:49.100 No,

00:05:49.380 I got a,

00:05:51.020 I bought a Camaro super sport convertible 2011.

00:05:56.480 Like right when workaholics came out,

00:05:58.180 I'm like,

00:05:58.660 give me some of this good broom,

00:06:01.220 broom.

00:06:01.700 And then,

00:06:02.680 and then I never bought a new car.

00:06:05.060 I just have that car still.

00:06:06.400 It's like,

00:06:07.060 what?

00:06:07.620 13 years old now?

00:06:09.140 10,

00:06:09.940 12.

00:06:10.700 Yeah.

00:06:11.000 But if you ever leave your family,

00:06:12.600 I think that's one thing you have to leave your family in that.

00:06:16.400 Well,

00:06:16.620 the Camaro super sport is the car you leave families in.

00:06:20.020 Yeah.

00:06:20.320 You do not,

00:06:21.140 you don't have a family.

00:06:23.180 If you have,

00:06:23.860 if you have that car,

00:06:25.080 if you have that car,

00:06:26.420 you're,

00:06:26.920 you're going to leave your wife.

00:06:28.480 Yeah.

00:06:28.880 That's the car.

00:06:30.200 That's like,

00:06:30.920 Hey,

00:06:31.160 this car,

00:06:31.680 it even has a goodbye.

00:06:33.420 Mrs.

00:06:33.920 Button on it.

00:06:34.660 Yeah.

00:06:35.420 Yes.

00:06:36.000 Yeah.

00:06:36.220 And you're leaving with like the Applebee's waitress.

00:06:38.740 Yeah.

00:06:39.020 That's who,

00:06:39.680 that's who you're vrooming off with.

00:06:41.820 Yeah.

00:06:41.960 You're listening to the Joe dirt soundtrack,

00:06:44.060 which people don't even know they had that.

00:06:45.900 Oh,

00:06:46.200 do they?

00:06:46.660 I bet it rips,

00:06:47.720 dude.

00:06:48.280 I bet it freaking rips.

00:06:50.080 It's gotta be good,

00:06:51.060 man.

00:06:52.180 Yeah.

00:06:52.440 I,

00:06:52.720 I,

00:06:53.220 I,

00:06:54.420 I'm doing my,

00:06:55.260 my new movie,

00:06:56.040 uh,

00:06:56.340 the outlaws.

00:06:57.220 Yeah.

00:06:57.600 Is it happening?

00:06:58.240 July 7th,

00:06:58.920 July 7th.

00:06:59.760 It's a happy Madison movie.

00:07:01.440 So yeah.

00:07:02.080 Congratulations.

00:07:02.560 Thanks dude.

00:07:03.560 It's the,

00:07:04.320 uh,

00:07:05.440 it was the sort of dream gig is to work with them because,

00:07:09.500 you know,

00:07:09.980 like you just said,

00:07:11.220 uh,

00:07:11.880 Joe dirt.

00:07:12.640 Oh yeah.

00:07:13.000 Like so many goddamn classic movies.

00:07:15.100 So yeah,

00:07:16.880 me,

00:07:17.140 me and Spade just wrote a movie together actually.

00:07:19.480 Oh shit.

00:07:20.100 And,

00:07:20.380 um,

00:07:21.020 but this is about your movie involved.

00:07:22.880 No.

00:07:23.700 Um,

00:07:24.320 dude,

00:07:24.760 riffraff hit me up and said he's involved.

00:07:28.060 I'm almost positive.

00:07:29.200 He said,

00:07:29.660 I'm going to have to go back and look,

00:07:31.120 but I swear riffraff is not involved.

00:07:33.900 I mean,

00:07:34.780 look,

00:07:35.440 blessings to raff,

00:07:36.600 baby.

00:07:36.880 I think if I were coming out with like a fucking never ending bubble gum or

00:07:40.420 something,

00:07:40.860 you know what I'm saying?

00:07:42.220 Yeah.

00:07:42.540 Or if I were coming out with like a,

00:07:44.620 uh,

00:07:45.840 you know,

00:07:46.420 like a shoe that made you jump so high that all the bitches wanted you.

00:07:50.260 Yeah.

00:07:50.720 Yes.

00:07:51.480 Jump like raff.

00:07:52.440 Yeah.

00:07:52.760 I mean like raff air.

00:07:54.440 Yeah.

00:07:54.800 Yeah.

00:07:55.100 Yeah.

00:07:56.540 Air.

00:07:57.020 Air raff.

00:07:57.840 Like you're literally dude.

00:08:00.420 What about your riffraff?

00:08:02.460 Who would that,

00:08:03.160 if they had an animal called the riffraff,

00:08:05.540 Joe riffraff.

00:08:06.300 Yeah.

00:08:06.800 I thought you were saying like drift raff,

00:08:08.480 like,

00:08:08.700 like Tokyo drift.

00:08:10.480 Ooh,

00:08:11.080 drift raff.

00:08:11.940 Yeah.

00:08:12.260 Good.

00:08:13.000 That's a good movie.

00:08:14.100 Yeah.

00:08:14.120 That's,

00:08:14.700 or is that a cool go-kart track that he starts drift drift?

00:08:19.340 Somebody already did it.

00:08:20.440 Oh,

00:08:20.880 dude.

00:08:21.960 That's,

00:08:22.460 that's what sucks about the internet is you,

00:08:24.580 you have a great idea.

00:08:26.100 And then obviously some 13 year old in Michigan beat you to it.

00:08:29.820 Yeah.

00:08:30.360 You know?

00:08:31.440 Yeah.

00:08:31.760 Yeah.

00:08:32.000 Yeah.

00:08:32.320 That's the one downside of the internet.

00:08:34.880 Yeah.

00:08:35.240 Because it used to be,

00:08:36.040 if you had a good idea in a moment,

00:08:37.120 you could just say it was your good idea.

00:08:38.780 Dude.

00:08:38.900 I was convinced that I came up with the,

00:08:41.920 the rocketeer.

00:08:43.520 Remember the rocketeer?

00:08:44.760 The guy with the packet on the pack.

00:08:46.080 I was convinced that I had that idea first.

00:08:47.940 And then when it came out,

00:08:48.780 I was like,

00:08:49.280 how did they know?

00:08:50.760 How did they steal my idea?

00:08:52.060 It was in my journal.

00:08:53.440 Oh,

00:08:53.800 I'm in like third grade or however old I was.

00:08:56.080 Uh huh.

00:08:56.680 I was convinced.

00:08:57.300 How'd they get in there?

00:08:58.140 How'd they steal it?

00:08:59.200 Who did it?

00:08:59.920 Who did it?

00:09:00.880 Yes.

00:09:01.260 Somebody,

00:09:01.720 they had a rumor going around our area that pillows were taking people's ideas

00:09:05.420 and send them to the government.

00:09:07.020 Who was?

00:09:07.800 Pillows.

00:09:08.420 Oh,

00:09:08.460 the pillows,

00:09:08.940 big pillow.

00:09:09.640 Like sleeping pillow.

00:09:10.760 Yeah.

00:09:10.880 It was like big pillow was like fucking everybody.

00:09:13.960 And so people weren't using pillows.

00:09:15.320 I remember for almost eight months and people were pissed.

00:09:18.980 Yeah.

00:09:19.520 Like we ain't fucking know.

00:09:20.720 Yeah.

00:09:21.000 Yeah.

00:09:21.300 That dream.

00:09:21.780 Uh,

00:09:22.640 so then you're just smashing blankets together,

00:09:24.520 trying to form a pillow.

00:09:26.140 Anything you could.

00:09:26.720 Yeah.

00:09:26.960 Yeah.

00:09:27.560 You're just sleeping on bags of marshmallows.

00:09:29.520 Yeah.

00:09:29.820 Uh huh.

00:09:30.220 Sleeping on your chubbiest brother's midsection.

00:09:32.160 Yeah.

00:09:32.520 Yeah.

00:09:34.840 Fuck you table.

00:09:35.840 Um,

00:09:36.380 but the outlaws,

00:09:37.120 no,

00:09:37.260 no,

00:09:37.320 first of all,

00:09:37.760 congrats on being a movie star.

00:09:39.320 Yeah,

00:09:39.500 dude.

00:09:39.680 How weird is that?

00:09:40.440 It's very interesting.

00:09:41.220 Well,

00:09:41.360 it's just when we knew each other way back in the day,

00:09:43.200 you didn't,

00:09:44.280 I didn't look at you going like this was,

00:09:46.060 this is the,

00:09:46.640 the biggest podcast from the game.

00:09:48.680 And you didn't look at me going like this guy's a movie star.

00:09:50.940 That's not what we thought.

00:09:52.520 No,

00:09:52.680 I thought here's a guy in a hallway.

00:09:54.220 Yeah.

00:09:54.700 Yeah.

00:09:55.240 Here's a fellow white kid doing comedy.

00:09:59.620 Yeah.

00:10:00.020 Here's another one of those chuckle honky.

00:10:02.540 Yeah.

00:10:02.680 Yeah.

00:10:03.260 There's another chuckle honky,

00:10:05.360 that classic term.

00:10:07.620 Um,

00:10:08.100 and look,

00:10:08.720 whoever,

00:10:09.260 if someone else probably made that term,

00:10:11.100 if I'm sure if you bring it up right now,

00:10:12.560 there's some.

00:10:13.460 Yeah.

00:10:13.860 There's a chuckle honky,

00:10:15.060 uh,

00:10:15.440 and it's just our photos on a giraffe.

00:10:19.100 Weirdly.

00:10:19.580 Don't know why,

00:10:20.260 but some other kid drew us in his journal.

00:10:22.520 Uh huh.

00:10:23.060 Some third grader of Minnesota put us in his journal and it's,

00:10:25.880 it's actually our pictures.

00:10:27.320 Like,

00:10:27.580 how did he even do that?

00:10:28.520 And he did,

00:10:29.260 he wrote pod podcaster underneath your photo actor underneath mine.

00:10:34.740 Um,

00:10:35.180 and the year was 2012 and look at us now,

00:10:37.280 but no,

00:10:39.600 congratulations.

00:10:40.040 Well,

00:10:40.240 it's interesting because you,

00:10:41.240 you start off just as a comedian.

00:10:42.560 Yeah.

00:10:43.200 Is that,

00:10:43.620 I mean,

00:10:43.800 that's yeah,

00:10:45.240 essentially.

00:10:45.820 I mean,

00:10:46.100 we,

00:10:46.380 we knew each other for since like being in the hallways of the improv,

00:10:49.900 like in back in the day,

00:10:50.840 uh,

00:10:51.720 but you're,

00:10:52.220 was your goal always to be an actor?

00:10:54.260 I don't know if I've,

00:10:54.760 I don't know if you've and I talked about this or not.

00:10:56.420 I know you've had work.

00:10:57.500 I know you've had a string of movies.

00:10:59.060 I know all of this,

00:11:00.000 but I'm just wondering where your original idea was.

00:11:03.420 Cause it's interesting when a comedian goes,

00:11:04.960 they get into movies and they become a movie star.

00:11:07.560 Yeah.

00:11:07.780 Not a lot of people have that path.

00:11:09.380 So it's just different.

00:11:10.160 You know,

00:11:10.440 you're a rare person we can talk to.

00:11:11.820 Yeah.

00:11:12.140 I think,

00:11:12.620 uh,

00:11:13.480 yeah,

00:11:13.660 it was kind of always the dream.

00:11:15.180 The dream was like,

00:11:16.100 the dream was basically like Sandler's path path,

00:11:19.200 you know,

00:11:19.580 like seeing like what he was able to do,

00:11:23.340 do stand up.

00:11:24.500 I wanted to do SNL that,

00:11:26.140 that just never came to be,

00:11:27.480 uh,

00:11:28.180 and then,

00:11:28.780 and then do movies.

00:11:30.300 Um,

00:11:30.860 yeah,

00:11:31.100 essentially I started when I was a kid,

00:11:33.200 I watched a lot of like evening at the improv.

00:11:35.840 Uh,

00:11:36.280 remember that A and E show with like Bud Friedman,

00:11:38.180 and he'd wear his monocle and then they bring up the,

00:11:40.560 uh,

00:11:40.700 the comics and,

00:11:42.360 and I never saw it.

00:11:43.240 Oh really?

00:11:43.820 Oh yeah.

00:11:44.360 It was,

00:11:44.600 it was,

00:11:45.060 was it that,

00:11:45.640 Oh God,

00:11:46.020 is it the guy with the,

00:11:47.020 uh,

00:11:47.240 well,

00:11:47.400 Bud Friedman is the improv owner and he died.

00:11:49.780 He just died.

00:11:50.380 Yeah.

00:11:50.600 And not too long ago.

00:11:51.540 Uh,

00:11:51.820 but he,

00:11:52.420 uh,

00:11:52.800 yeah.

00:11:53.000 So I like loved,

00:11:54.020 uh,

00:11:55.060 stand up and then you watch so much of it and I'm sure you kind of did the same thing.

00:12:00.060 It wasn't like,

00:12:00.980 for me,

00:12:01.440 it wasn't like the,

00:12:02.520 the best comics.

00:12:04.260 They didn't inspire me because I was like,

00:12:05.940 I'm not that smart.

00:12:07.060 Like I can't figure that shit out.

00:12:08.760 Oh,

00:12:08.860 you mean like a Louis CK or a Steven Wright or somebody like a Chris rock or someone?

00:12:13.320 Yeah.

00:12:13.340 Chris,

00:12:13.680 you know,

00:12:14.600 where you're just like,

00:12:15.260 Oh God,

00:12:15.680 these guys are geniuses.

00:12:16.720 It was like the guys I saw on TV that like,

00:12:18.840 weren't that good.

00:12:19.820 And I was like,

00:12:20.580 well,

00:12:20.700 I could be that good.

00:12:21.700 Right.

00:12:22.040 I know I could be that.

00:12:25.520 If that's what takes,

00:12:26.880 that's what it takes to get on TV.

00:12:28.560 I know I can be that successful.

00:12:30.860 I can do that.

00:12:32.000 Yeah.

00:12:32.240 And so,

00:12:32.580 and then even at the improv had everybody,

00:12:34.400 but,

00:12:34.560 um,

00:12:35.340 but it was watching some,

00:12:36.800 some of these people and they were like,

00:12:38.860 Oh,

00:12:39.000 they're not that funny,

00:12:40.820 dude.

00:12:41.140 I can be that funny.

00:12:42.600 Right.

00:12:42.980 And then I,

00:12:44.100 uh,

00:12:44.460 I got a job at the improv,

00:12:46.240 which I think is probably around when I met you.

00:12:48.700 And,

00:12:49.620 and that was in like 2004.

00:12:52.140 Was Anthony Clark working there then too or not?

00:12:53.960 Do you remember that?

00:12:54.980 Anthony Clark wasn't.

00:12:56.120 Yeah.

00:12:56.440 He was there all the time,

00:12:57.640 but he wasn't working there then.

00:12:58.760 No.

00:12:59.220 Cause I would see,

00:12:59.940 Oh no,

00:13:00.340 he never worked.

00:13:00.880 He never worked there.

00:13:01.600 He was just always,

00:13:02.260 he was always there.

00:13:02.980 Was he there then?

00:13:03.860 That's what I mean?

00:13:04.220 Yeah.

00:13:04.520 I thought he worked there.

00:13:05.620 He was,

00:13:06.140 he was drinking at the bar so much that,

00:13:08.360 that we should have paid him.

00:13:10.180 Uh,

00:13:10.780 yeah.

00:13:11.340 Sorry,

00:13:11.840 Anthony.

00:13:12.040 I haven't seen Anthony Clark in years.

00:13:14.240 And no one has.

00:13:15.400 Wow.

00:13:15.680 He was a,

00:13:16.740 he was a television star.

00:13:18.780 I mean,

00:13:18.980 he was on one of the biggest shows.

00:13:20.900 Yeah.

00:13:21.280 Uh,

00:13:21.740 yes,

00:13:22.060 dear.

00:13:22.580 Yes,

00:13:23.000 dear.

00:13:23.340 And then,

00:13:23.840 uh,

00:13:24.140 his other show is Boston common.

00:13:26.060 Oh yeah.

00:13:26.900 Remember that?

00:13:27.600 Deep cut references.

00:13:30.100 I have to get,

00:13:30.840 dude,

00:13:30.980 I would love to sit in and talk with Anthony Clark.

00:13:32.740 I bet he'd be really interesting.

00:13:33.860 Oh yeah.

00:13:35.120 Wow.

00:13:35.480 I haven't seen him in years.

00:13:36.800 Anyway,

00:13:37.140 sorry.

00:13:37.360 I hadn't thought about that.

00:13:37.980 So you worked at the improv.

00:13:39.680 Yeah.

00:13:39.960 And then it was like,

00:13:40.920 uh,

00:13:41.260 it was,

00:13:41.860 you crossed when you got on stage.

00:13:43.500 We did a show at USC together one time.

00:13:45.180 I remember.

00:13:45.920 Yeah,

00:13:46.000 that's right.

00:13:46.820 And,

00:13:47.180 um,

00:13:47.820 that might've been maybe when work Alex was out.

00:13:50.180 And then after that came out,

00:13:51.640 it was just,

00:13:52.980 you just went into this other world that a lot of us aren't in.

00:13:56.760 Yeah.

00:13:57.240 Well,

00:13:57.480 we got,

00:13:57.980 we got so fucking lucky,

00:13:59.240 you know,

00:13:59.500 it was like,

00:14:00.060 that's what it is.

00:14:01.160 It's like,

00:14:01.460 you just sort of prepare and try to put yourself in the right place at the right time.

00:14:05.560 And then,

00:14:06.000 and then you get your shot and hopefully you're able to hit it,

00:14:08.980 you know?

00:14:09.420 Yeah.

00:14:09.660 And we,

00:14:10.360 we got so lucky.

00:14:11.280 It was funny.

00:14:12.000 Like when workaholics came out,

00:14:13.560 because like,

00:14:14.460 I was kind of the kid at the improv where I was like working the door and shit.

00:14:18.560 And then I'd come on stage and like,

00:14:20.560 there wasn't a ton of respect.

00:14:22.720 It was like,

00:14:23.320 yeah,

00:14:23.500 we know he worked here.

00:14:25.000 Right.

00:14:25.320 Uh,

00:14:25.680 like,

00:14:25.840 yeah,

00:14:25.960 some of you,

00:14:26.360 that guy would even be up there.

00:14:27.520 He'd be,

00:14:27.780 he'd be mid order.

00:14:28.860 He'd be taking his fries.

00:14:29.740 They'd call his name.

00:14:30.640 Yeah.

00:14:30.800 I remember watching one guy do a set one time with fries in his hand.

00:14:35.020 Yeah.

00:14:35.340 So it wasn't like a,

00:14:36.960 um,

00:14:37.900 and then as soon,

00:14:38.520 as soon as the,

00:14:39.360 the show came out,

00:14:40.600 workaholics came out,

00:14:41.420 then all of a sudden it was like all the older comics were like,

00:14:43.800 Oh,

00:14:44.200 Hey,

00:14:44.460 what's up,

00:14:44.960 man?

00:14:45.340 I'm like,

00:14:45.680 yeah,

00:14:46.260 bitch.

00:14:46.620 You don't know me.

00:14:51.060 Oh,

00:14:51.460 so now we're friends.

00:14:53.160 Okay.

00:14:54.020 That's a good point.

00:14:55.000 Yeah.

00:14:55.980 Hollywood is weird like that,

00:14:57.620 man.

00:14:57.960 It is weird.

00:14:58.780 There's a certain,

00:14:59.720 sometimes there's a certain,

00:15:00.800 like you want,

00:15:03.140 someone needs to have the same experiences as you.

00:15:05.680 And then that can bring you,

00:15:07.160 it can make you feel like you can talk to somebody or things are a little more

00:15:10.340 comfortable.

00:15:11.220 Yeah.

00:15:11.620 There are weird.

00:15:12.500 Well,

00:15:12.720 yeah,

00:15:12.840 there's,

00:15:13.160 there's like,

00:15:14.520 there's levels to this shit as meek.

00:15:16.460 Mill said.

00:15:17.100 Yeah.

00:15:18.140 And it's true.

00:15:18.900 It's like,

00:15:19.300 you just talk to people that are like,

00:15:21.080 I feel like we are kind of in the same class within like a few years of each

00:15:25.100 other kind of know,

00:15:26.160 you know?

00:15:26.860 And,

00:15:27.320 and then there's like kids that are coming up that you're like,

00:15:30.400 Oh,

00:15:30.580 they were the class beneath,

00:15:32.180 beneath us.

00:15:32.980 And,

00:15:33.420 and it's not that they're worse or better.

00:15:36.420 It's just that they were a different,

00:15:38.260 they came up at a different time.

00:15:39.540 Oh yeah.

00:15:39.780 I feel like it's,

00:15:40.960 it's like whoever you were like doing open mics with,

00:15:44.080 or like doing the like first group of like,

00:15:46.460 bringer shows with that's who you're like,

00:15:49.720 Hey,

00:15:50.280 yeah.

00:15:51.300 Hey,

00:15:51.520 we're going to be friends forever because we performed in a Chinese restaurant,

00:15:54.860 you know,

00:15:55.700 because we're performing when there's literally bowling happening right here.

00:15:59.800 Like we're getting heckled by bowling pins.

00:16:02.820 So we're always going to know each other.

00:16:04.860 Yeah.

00:16:06.460 Yeah.

00:16:06.940 There's something kind of a,

00:16:08.000 there's something it's a,

00:16:10.740 it's weird that,

00:16:12.260 yeah,

00:16:12.400 there's something weird about that.

00:16:13.780 When you come in at the same time,

00:16:15.500 who kind of introduces you to somebody else is interesting too,

00:16:19.140 because it's almost like,

00:16:20.180 uh,

00:16:21.840 how you,

00:16:22.700 if somebody like you get co-signed kind of a,

00:16:25.140 somebody to be,

00:16:25.660 you know,

00:16:26.240 cause some people it's like,

00:16:27.460 um,

00:16:28.540 you almost,

00:16:30.880 some people they get,

00:16:31.720 their lives get so busy.

00:16:32.660 It's like,

00:16:33.160 it's hard for them to just be friends with every single person that comes along too,

00:16:36.820 you know,

00:16:37.060 as their career gets busier and they get more known.

00:16:39.540 I know dude.

00:16:40.180 Like now I go,

00:16:41.260 I'll go into the improv and shit and I like won't know people,

00:16:43.900 which is,

00:16:45.180 which is like,

00:16:46.500 that sucks.

00:16:47.240 Cause it used to be like,

00:16:48.360 you go to the comedy club and you know,

00:16:49.640 everybody.

00:16:50.180 Yeah.

00:16:50.520 Like,

00:16:50.780 you know,

00:16:51.060 everybody,

00:16:51.660 including like the waitstaff and you just,

00:16:53.480 you just know people.

00:16:54.520 Oh yeah.

00:16:54.900 And then now you're,

00:16:55.580 I'm like,

00:16:55.940 I go in there and I'm like,

00:16:58.100 hello.

00:16:58.720 Yeah.

00:16:59.000 I used to be a comedian back in the day.

00:17:04.000 I would go on this very stage.

00:17:08.800 That's awesome,

00:17:09.700 man.

00:17:10.640 Um,

00:17:11.420 well,

00:17:11.660 congrats,

00:17:12.120 man.

00:17:12.340 Congrats on having it and,

00:17:13.500 and,

00:17:13.760 and a steady career in,

00:17:15.260 in movies too.

00:17:15.860 Cause I know that probably gets pretty tricky.

00:17:18.620 Um,

00:17:19.520 I want to,

00:17:20.000 I want to think about what that's like with you.

00:17:21.500 And,

00:17:21.900 but first I want to think a little bit about,

00:17:23.440 yeah,

00:17:23.540 than the new movie.

00:17:25.020 Cause Tom Segura has his special is coming out on the same day.

00:17:27.940 Yeah.

00:17:28.100 I think it's,

00:17:28.600 it's the same day or just about this.

00:17:30.780 That's awesome.

00:17:30.940 Yeah.

00:17:31.200 Yeah.

00:17:31.540 That's awesome.

00:17:32.140 He was just on his episodes up right now.

00:17:34.780 Um,

00:17:35.740 yeah,

00:17:36.020 he's Thomas.

00:17:37.020 So funny.

00:17:37.740 Uh,

00:17:38.460 yeah.

00:17:38.660 So tell me about outlaws,

00:17:39.640 man.

00:17:39.820 Let me,

00:17:39.960 let me,

00:17:40.220 I want to know a little bit about it.

00:17:41.860 Yeah.

00:17:42.180 So,

00:17:42.400 I mean,

00:17:42.720 it was an executive producer.

00:17:44.020 I know that.

00:17:44.480 Yeah.

00:17:44.660 Producer on it.

00:17:45.600 I,

00:17:46.200 the,

00:17:46.500 the writers,

00:17:47.940 uh,

00:17:48.420 Ben,

00:17:48.900 I've always butchered his last name.

00:17:50.660 Like I got called out on it.

00:17:51.800 My agent was like,

00:17:52.920 you're fucking up this guy's name.

00:17:55.260 It's Z-A-Z-O-V-E.

00:17:58.380 Ben.

00:17:58.880 Zazove.

00:17:59.880 Zazove.

00:18:00.500 Zazove.

00:18:01.140 Zazove.

00:18:01.920 Great guy.

00:18:02.740 Awesome writer.

00:18:03.740 Ben and Evan Turner.

00:18:05.640 Uh,

00:18:06.040 they wrote the movie.

00:18:07.200 Super funny.

00:18:08.160 They brought me this idea like at like years ago at the tail end of workaholics.

00:18:12.920 And they're like,

00:18:14.840 it's your,

00:18:15.560 it's meet the parents meets heat.

00:18:16.940 And so it's,

00:18:18.420 if your parents are,

00:18:20.200 uh,

00:18:20.380 your future in-laws are international bank robbers.

00:18:23.960 Okay.

00:18:24.200 And they rob the bank that you work for.

00:18:26.320 Uh,

00:18:26.760 and so,

00:18:27.740 yeah,

00:18:27.940 so there,

00:18:28.400 there they are.

00:18:28.900 And,

00:18:29.120 and we cast Pierce Brosnan.

00:18:31.280 Oh,

00:18:31.480 that's Pierce Brosnan from,

00:18:32.600 that's a 007.

00:18:34.000 007,

00:18:34.520 baby.

00:18:34.720 Oh my God.

00:18:35.340 Yeah,

00:18:35.640 man.

00:18:36.360 Nina Dobrev plays my fiance.

00:18:38.580 Michael Rooker's in it.

00:18:40.480 Uh,

00:18:40.800 you know,

00:18:41.100 Lil Rel.

00:18:42.000 Oh,

00:18:42.260 Lil Rel's in there.

00:18:43.160 Yeah.

00:18:43.200 My boy Blake Anderson has a,

00:18:45.020 has a,

00:18:45.320 a small part in it.

00:18:46.940 Oh,

00:18:47.140 yeah.

00:18:47.320 So it's the cast is sick.

00:18:48.660 So they,

00:18:48.940 they pitched me this idea and I'm like,

00:18:51.380 it's just a fucking idiot,

00:18:52.540 dude.

00:18:52.980 And I was like,

00:18:53.920 that is a brilliant idea for a movie.

00:18:55.820 I want to do this movie,

00:18:57.220 wrote it down in my notebook,

00:18:58.760 lost that notebook immediately,

00:19:00.340 forgot all about it.

00:19:02.180 And years later,

00:19:03.120 I'm like looking through an old notebook being like,

00:19:05.700 Oh,

00:19:05.900 what,

00:19:06.120 what brilliance did I write down in here?

00:19:08.920 Yeah.

00:19:09.580 What gold?

00:19:10.620 And you're like,

00:19:11.000 no,

00:19:11.460 gross,

00:19:12.180 hated,

00:19:12.700 bad idea,

00:19:13.980 stupid.

00:19:14.680 Yeah.

00:19:15.320 Recipe.

00:19:15.960 Yeah.

00:19:16.460 Yeah.

00:19:16.880 Yeah.

00:19:17.040 Yeah.

00:19:17.120 Yeah.

00:19:17.360 It just is apples.

00:19:19.000 It's just saying to eat fruit.

00:19:21.000 And then,

00:19:21.660 and then it was this idea.

00:19:22.900 And I was like,

00:19:23.680 Oh fuck,

00:19:24.380 that's brilliant.

00:19:25.220 I reached out to the guy,

00:19:26.680 those guys.

00:19:27.120 I was like,

00:19:27.460 Hey,

00:19:27.620 I'm sure John Cena is attached or something.

00:19:31.140 You know,

00:19:31.300 someone has already beat me to this.

00:19:32.840 Yeah.

00:19:33.060 Flava Flav.

00:19:33.860 Flava Flav is probably,

00:19:35.220 you know,

00:19:35.380 that movie star Flava Flav.

00:19:37.520 And then they were like,

00:19:39.500 no,

00:19:39.960 nothing.

00:19:40.520 So I developed it with them.

00:19:42.860 We took it to Netflix,

00:19:43.720 sold it,

00:19:44.080 and then brought on Happy Madison.

00:19:46.860 Yeah.

00:19:47.000 I'm Sandler's company.

00:19:47.960 Oh,

00:19:48.120 that's great.

00:19:48.680 Yeah.

00:19:49.060 Yeah.

00:19:49.300 It was cool.

00:19:49.880 It was,

00:19:50.180 it's cool when it works out,

00:19:51.280 you know?

00:19:52.080 Yeah.

00:19:52.200 Well,

00:19:52.300 it's so hard to get a movie created,

00:19:53.980 created into the finish line,

00:19:55.360 especially these days.

00:19:56.020 It seems even harder,

00:19:57.180 dude,

00:19:57.420 especially comedies.

00:19:58.400 Now,

00:19:58.800 you have to like mask it.

00:20:00.220 This is why it's a big action comedy,

00:20:02.020 because you really have to go like action,

00:20:04.260 action,

00:20:04.840 and then,

00:20:05.220 and then it's a comedy.

00:20:06.480 But this,

00:20:07.240 we,

00:20:07.340 it's just like,

00:20:08.660 it's,

00:20:09.020 it's why I was so happy to work with Sandler's company is we could just go full steam on the comedy as opposed to,

00:20:15.320 you know,

00:20:15.620 you watch comedies nowadays and you're like,

00:20:18.240 no,

00:20:18.480 this isn't a fucking comedy.

00:20:19.760 You're not,

00:20:20.560 where's the jokes?

00:20:21.340 Like,

00:20:21.660 where's the bits?

00:20:22.740 Bad.

00:20:22.980 Yeah.

00:20:23.400 Comedy's gotten kind of bad,

00:20:24.440 huh?

00:20:24.500 Yeah,

00:20:24.760 it kind of sucks.

00:20:25.660 Yeah.

00:20:26.380 Movie comedy.

00:20:27.080 Movie comedy.

00:20:27.640 Yeah.

00:20:28.080 There's still good shows and stuff,

00:20:29.660 but like,

00:20:30.060 yeah,

00:20:30.280 movie comedy,

00:20:31.100 uh,

00:20:31.460 it's,

00:20:31.780 it's hard,

00:20:32.980 but which luckily,

00:20:34.480 uh,

00:20:35.140 I,

00:20:35.500 I,

00:20:35.680 my theory is I think,

00:20:38.060 I think like Marvel ruined it.

00:20:41.000 I feel like superhero movies kind of ruined comedies because they,

00:20:47.980 people watch,

00:20:49.500 you go to the theater and you're expect to watch something that costs $200 million to make.

00:20:54.300 And comedy movies aren't that,

00:20:56.580 aren't that.

00:20:57.660 So you're like,

00:20:59.000 well,

00:20:59.100 why would I spend the same amount of money to go watch a little comedy in a theater?

00:21:04.060 If I could spend the same amount of money and go see something that is,

00:21:07.160 is worth $200 million.

00:21:09.260 Right.

00:21:09.760 You know,

00:21:10.340 and then they still make those movies kind of funny.

00:21:12.720 Like they're,

00:21:13.200 I mean,

00:21:13.340 they're not comedies,

00:21:14.640 but there's like,

00:21:15.360 right.

00:21:15.500 There's ant.

00:21:15.840 You're like,

00:21:16.180 Oh my God,

00:21:17.120 is that raccoon talking?

00:21:18.520 This is hilarious.

00:21:21.740 Which it is.

00:21:22.900 But,

00:21:23.140 uh,

00:21:23.560 but yeah,

00:21:25.200 so it's not,

00:21:25.800 it's not like a real comedy.

00:21:26.740 And then now they,

00:21:28.500 there used to be something like every studio would put out several comedies every,

00:21:32.440 every year.

00:21:32.900 And there was like 45 or 46 comedies in the theaters every year.

00:21:37.920 So about every week or every other week or so there's a new comedy in the theaters.

00:21:42.720 And,

00:21:43.360 uh,

00:21:44.100 and then now last year there was like six or seven.

00:21:47.640 That's crazy.

00:21:48.560 It's crazy.

00:21:49.080 And people need,

00:21:50.040 and the crazy thing is,

00:21:50.940 is it feels like people need comedy more than ever.

00:21:53.280 Yeah.

00:21:53.400 I feel like they want it.

00:21:54.460 I feel.

00:21:54.960 Yeah.

00:21:55.660 So that's what this movie was.

00:21:56.920 It was like,

00:21:57.960 and there's no like hidden message.

00:22:00.180 I feel like nowadays people,

00:22:02.480 like you get to the end of what you think is a comedy.

00:22:04.860 And you're like,

00:22:06.060 is that about global warming?

00:22:07.500 Yeah.

00:22:08.020 Yeah.

00:22:08.220 You're like,

00:22:08.560 is this,

00:22:09.040 is there like some deep hidden message that I'm supposed to,

00:22:12.160 I'm supposed to recycle more or like,

00:22:14.000 you know,

00:22:14.600 there,

00:22:15.180 there has to be something else.

00:22:16.820 Right.

00:22:17.240 Oh,

00:22:17.460 the moon is trans.

00:22:18.920 Is that what,

00:22:19.600 is that the surprise?

00:22:21.560 Yeah.

00:22:21.860 You're like,

00:22:22.360 okay,

00:22:22.900 I do.

00:22:23.440 I guess we do have to think about that.

00:22:24.880 Don't we?

00:22:26.420 Yeah.

00:22:27.160 I agree.

00:22:27.960 There's,

00:22:28.260 there's a lot of,

00:22:29.180 what was,

00:22:29.520 there was a great movie.

00:22:30.480 And that's what your David Spade and your movie is about.

00:22:33.040 It is.

00:22:33.400 Yeah.

00:22:33.700 Trans moon.

00:22:34.400 Yeah.

00:22:34.940 Yeah.

00:22:35.380 You guys are just the people to,

00:22:37.120 to,

00:22:37.280 to spread that message.

00:22:38.540 Oh,

00:22:38.780 it's about transportation.

00:22:39.800 It's about a lot of vehicles admitting who they really are.

00:22:44.300 Cars wanting to be motorcycles,

00:22:46.240 motorcycles wishing they were scooters.

00:22:49.200 Yeah.

00:22:49.740 It's just,

00:22:50.120 it's where things are,

00:22:51.220 man.

00:22:51.740 Oh dude,

00:22:52.220 there's a riveting scene where a,

00:22:54.300 short bus,

00:22:55.680 uh,

00:22:56.140 admits that he's a skateboard.

00:22:58.140 Yeah.

00:23:00.720 And it's,

00:23:01.520 yeah,

00:23:01.980 it's powerful.

00:23:02.660 Whoa.

00:23:04.380 It's worth doing it.

00:23:06.080 We're doing it.

00:23:07.500 But the great thing is,

00:23:08.380 I feel like you could walk into a place and pitch that.

00:23:11.320 And then,

00:23:11.700 yeah.

00:23:11.940 And they wouldn't laugh you out of the room.

00:23:13.320 They'd be like,

00:23:13.980 okay,

00:23:14.900 well,

00:23:16.300 that's the thing,

00:23:16.960 you know,

00:23:17.120 cause I like my job now is kind of,

00:23:19.940 well,

00:23:20.080 obviously acting and that kind of stuff,

00:23:21.720 but then like I'm pitching a lot.

00:23:23.060 So I'll like pitch movies.

00:23:24.720 Uh,

00:23:25.180 and every executive is like,

00:23:26.600 yeah,

00:23:26.720 but why should we make this movie now?

00:23:28.720 And you're like,

00:23:29.420 cause it's funny.

00:23:30.420 Yeah.

00:23:31.060 Cause it's funny,

00:23:31.780 bitch.

00:23:32.240 What do you mean?

00:23:33.740 Like whatever happened to just like,

00:23:35.120 we want to make people laugh.

00:23:36.320 Like it doesn't need to be right.

00:23:38.820 Yeah.

00:23:39.280 Right there.

00:23:39.840 It doesn't need to attach itself to some like hook in the world right now.

00:23:44.860 It doesn't.

00:23:45.500 I mean,

00:23:45.780 if it does and that's the movie,

00:23:47.500 then sure.

00:23:48.260 Right.

00:23:48.440 But it doesn't always have to,

00:23:49.920 it can just be like whatever happened to just,

00:23:52.440 it's funny for funny sake.

00:23:53.800 I know.

00:23:54.300 I feel like super bad was one of the last movies that they kind of had like that in some ways.

00:23:58.600 Like that was really just super fun.

00:24:00.760 Like,

00:24:01.280 I mean,

00:24:01.660 there's been a lot of other funny movies.

00:24:03.020 I'm not saying that.

00:24:05.000 Yeah,

00:24:05.480 but I get what you're saying.

00:24:06.380 It was like the hangover,

00:24:08.300 super bad.

00:24:09.080 It was like,

00:24:09.380 that was sort of the last gasp of like for no reason at all.

00:24:14.460 Like this is just fucking funny.

00:24:16.320 Cause it's funny.

00:24:17.660 You know,

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00:24:21.540 hit you,

00:24:22.620 you working at the lumber yard and dang,

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00:24:28.540 Turned your neck into a dang Jenga game.

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00:25:46.360 This is a paid advertisement.

00:25:49.260 But that's,

00:25:50.220 did you feel good about it?

00:25:51.620 Was it exciting?

00:25:52.120 So this is,

00:25:52.820 it's like there's guns,

00:25:53.800 there's weapons in it.

00:25:54.660 People are,

00:25:55.300 so there's also,

00:25:56.440 there's like a,

00:25:57.740 like what's the premise of the film again?

00:25:59.700 Oh,

00:26:00.000 sure.

00:26:00.860 Sure.

00:26:01.420 So my,

00:26:03.280 me and Nina's character were about to get married.

00:26:05.580 I've never met their,

00:26:07.060 her parents,

00:26:07.720 my future in-laws.

00:26:09.260 They come in the week before the wedding.

00:26:11.640 They've,

00:26:12.120 I've never even seen photos of these people.

00:26:13.720 They're like ghosts.

00:26:14.480 And they're just the coolest motherfuckers.

00:26:16.960 It's Pierce Brosnan,

00:26:17.860 Ellen Barkin.

00:26:19.040 And they take me out on like night on the town.

00:26:22.740 We go skydiving.

00:26:24.000 I get a tattoo.

00:26:25.360 I get like,

00:26:26.520 we get,

00:26:26.980 I get blackout drunk with them.

00:26:28.860 And I'm like the straight laced banker.

00:26:31.160 So this is out of the,

00:26:32.980 out of the norm for me.

00:26:34.640 And I go to the bank the next day.

00:26:36.820 And I'm talking to little rel who I,

00:26:38.680 who is a security guard.

00:26:40.140 And I'm like,

00:26:41.140 dude,

00:26:41.740 last night was incredible.

00:26:42.820 I just need a nice chill day at work.

00:26:45.440 You know,

00:26:46.060 but my in-laws are awesome.

00:26:48.040 And then click,

00:26:48.860 click,

00:26:49.080 there's a gun in my head.

00:26:49.920 Two people are robbing my bank.

00:26:51.580 And,

00:26:51.720 and they have masks on and they say something that leads me to believe that they're my in-laws.

00:26:57.760 Yeah.

00:26:59.120 Wow.

00:26:59.520 Yeah,

00:26:59.900 dude.

00:27:00.200 And then they end up own owing someone money because they like bailed with the money last

00:27:06.360 time.

00:27:06.640 The person who cleans their money,

00:27:08.080 like,

00:27:09.000 like in heat,

00:27:10.360 the person who cleans their money,

00:27:11.980 they stole that money from them and bailed.

00:27:13.860 And so they owe,

00:27:15.740 they,

00:27:16.300 that woman kidnaps my fiance.

00:27:18.840 And it's like,

00:27:19.400 if you don't give me $5 million within the end of the week,

00:27:22.560 I'm going to kill your daughter.

00:27:24.100 And we have to go rob a series of banks to get my fiance back.

00:27:29.480 Yeah.

00:27:30.820 Dang.

00:27:31.420 Yeah.

00:27:31.620 It's fun.

00:27:32.600 Yeah.

00:27:32.740 It's fun.

00:27:33.420 Yeah.

00:27:33.620 It's really fun.

00:27:34.320 How long did it take to shoot something like that?

00:27:36.660 I had like,

00:27:37.660 you know,

00:27:38.140 two,

00:27:38.460 two months or something.

00:27:39.540 And were you guys able to shoot it in California?

00:27:41.420 No,

00:27:41.740 dude,

00:27:42.200 you don't shoot things in California anymore.

00:27:44.100 Yeah.

00:27:45.540 Unless it's drugs in the park.

00:27:47.280 Yeah,

00:27:47.720 man.

00:27:48.520 Yeah.

00:27:51.820 Yeah.

00:27:52.360 We shot it in Atlanta.

00:27:53.940 Oh,

00:27:54.120 nice.

00:27:54.460 Yeah.

00:27:55.340 I like it.

00:27:56.300 It was fun.

00:27:57.240 Yeah.

00:27:57.620 Atlanta's cool,

00:27:58.300 man.

00:27:58.780 I mean,

00:27:59.040 it's definitely,

00:27:59.800 it's,

00:28:00.000 it's,

00:28:00.420 it's grown so much in the past 20 years,

00:28:02.540 that city.

00:28:04.120 That's amazing,

00:28:05.040 bro.

00:28:05.300 Congratulations.

00:28:05.880 So this is your first movie you're executive producing too?

00:28:08.580 No.

00:28:09.060 So I produced a game over man,

00:28:11.320 which is the movie I did with the workaholics guys.

00:28:13.180 Okay.

00:28:13.440 And that was,

00:28:14.060 uh,

00:28:15.040 an action,

00:28:15.480 another action comedy on Netflix,

00:28:16.840 but that one was like,

00:28:18.100 this movie is,

00:28:19.300 I feel more accessible.

00:28:20.840 Like,

00:28:21.220 I feel like parents would want to watch this movie game over.

00:28:23.620 Man,

00:28:23.800 like there's multiple dicks that are cut off.

00:28:26.340 Yeah.

00:28:26.860 Uh,

00:28:27.340 I show my dick and my butthole in the movie.

00:28:29.880 Oh,

00:28:30.060 wow.

00:28:30.420 Yeah,

00:28:30.580 dude,

00:28:30.800 you gotta,

00:28:31.300 you gotta check that out.

00:28:32.400 And,

00:28:32.820 uh,

00:28:33.580 you,

00:28:33.860 you know,

00:28:34.220 check it out.

00:28:35.020 And yeah,

00:28:36.240 so very,

00:28:37.560 very funny movie,

00:28:38.360 but I feel like this is a little more,

00:28:40.200 uh,

00:28:40.620 accessible to everyone.

00:28:41.620 I haven't seen this.

00:28:42.820 I can't believe I didn't even know about this.

00:28:44.240 Yeah,

00:28:44.460 dude.

00:28:44.960 Yeah.

00:28:45.500 It's so hard to know about things these days.

00:28:47.600 Do you feel like that too?

00:28:48.780 Yeah,

00:28:48.920 there's so much happening.

00:28:50.800 Yeah,

00:28:51.200 I feel like it's,

00:28:52.540 uh,

00:28:53.400 there's just too much shit that's out there.

00:28:55.180 And we used to,

00:28:56.080 and also our phones are a device that we go to now for entertainment.

00:28:58.840 There used to be one device really.

00:29:00.640 Yeah.

00:29:00.840 You know,

00:29:01.280 it was your television and then it became your television and your computer.

00:29:04.500 And that's when streaming really was at an insane level,

00:29:07.760 you know,

00:29:08.460 and then now it's your television,

00:29:10.100 your computer and your phone,

00:29:11.600 you know?

00:29:11.980 So I feel like it's.

00:29:13.720 Yeah.

00:29:13.900 And it's also like the algorithm just kind of pushes things your way.

00:29:18.220 And if for whatever reason,

00:29:20.700 yeah,

00:29:21.420 it didn't push it your way,

00:29:22.920 then you have no,

00:29:23.860 no clue.

00:29:24.820 Oh dude,

00:29:25.120 I walked into the last blockbuster probably one years ago and I walked,

00:29:30.840 I walked in there,

00:29:31.340 dude.

00:29:31.820 And it was like,

00:29:34.040 it was,

00:29:35.380 it was unbelievable.

00:29:36.180 And this is what was the most fascinating to me about it.

00:29:39.160 Um,

00:29:40.480 first of all,

00:29:41.120 somebody that worked in there was like,

00:29:42.500 where was this?

00:29:43.160 They would look over their glass at you.

00:29:44.680 Like you were being an asshole.

00:29:45.500 Like,

00:29:45.740 which is like how they always,

00:29:47.020 one person always used to do that.

00:29:48.220 And one dude would be cool.

00:29:49.020 Like trying to sell you weed or something,

00:29:50.400 you know?

00:29:50.720 Yeah.

00:29:51.120 Uh,

00:29:51.560 this is in Bend,

00:29:52.420 Oregon.

00:29:52.620 It's the last one.

00:29:53.760 Oh,

00:29:53.920 wow.

00:29:54.660 So there it is right there.

00:29:56.300 And that's because they don't get internet up there or they're just really,

00:30:00.840 I think just this lady doesn't want it to shut down.

00:30:03.100 Whoever this is in the picture,

00:30:04.120 maybe.

00:30:04.480 Yeah.

00:30:04.820 That's probably her.

00:30:05.720 Um,

00:30:06.040 but it's crazy.

00:30:06.740 I mean,

00:30:06.920 you go in and it's,

00:30:08.400 you walk through the aisles and the interesting part is how many options there are.

00:30:13.360 You don't realize how many,

00:30:14.720 because when we look on a screen,

00:30:16.060 there's like the 10 or 12 options.

00:30:17.600 And even if you look around,

00:30:18.740 you can barely find,

00:30:19.800 but in the store,

00:30:21.300 I mean,

00:30:22.120 suddenly I'm like,

00:30:22.820 Oh,

00:30:23.040 what about this movie?

00:30:23.880 I hadn't thought about this movie.

00:30:25.320 I pick it up and I'm like,

00:30:26.500 Oh,

00:30:26.800 this one would really be great.

00:30:27.760 And I realized how much of our ability to choose for ourselves without even realizing

00:30:33.140 it disappeared when it went to,

00:30:36.040 uh,

00:30:36.500 streaming platforms.

00:30:37.640 Yeah.

00:30:38.080 It used to be fun.

00:30:39.120 And you used to go just in like the weird artwork,

00:30:41.540 you'd be like,

00:30:42.000 let's give this one a try.

00:30:43.580 Yeah.

00:30:43.820 You know,

00:30:44.620 like that,

00:30:45.420 that person showing like half of a nipple.

00:30:47.700 Yeah.

00:30:48.340 Some lady just,

00:30:49.220 Oh God,

00:30:49.900 I see the other half.

00:30:50.780 You got to see the other half of the nipple.

00:30:52.160 I think they're going to show the bottom half of this nipple in the movie.

00:30:54.500 Come on,

00:30:55.280 dude.

00:30:55.580 I got to rep this.

00:30:56.560 And then the crazy part was if it was a nipple movie,

00:30:58.620 I'd always get raising nets,

00:31:00.000 dude.

00:31:00.200 That's crazy.

00:31:01.060 Because you want to have them sticky fingers.

00:31:02.860 Well,

00:31:03.040 I just want to have,

00:31:03.860 it's almost that fourth dimension of a nipple.

00:31:05.800 They're almost like little nipples in the box.

00:31:07.300 that's true.

00:31:08.040 Dude,

00:31:08.180 that'd be great for porn movies.

00:31:09.540 If they had a box of like little,

00:31:11.640 like it's a,

00:31:12.280 you know how they have those like 4d seats in theaters now,

00:31:15.380 like a 4d porn chair.

00:31:17.620 But you all this,

00:31:19.640 you're just getting hose spray,

00:31:21.220 weird smells like,

00:31:23.180 Oh God.

00:31:24.100 Oh Jesus.

00:31:25.680 Too close.

00:31:27.020 Yeah.

00:31:27.420 It's like,

00:31:27.840 and then it like bumps you from behind.

00:31:29.660 If there's like a doggy style scene or something like,

00:31:31.960 Whoa,

00:31:32.140 this is,

00:31:32.740 Whoa.

00:31:33.060 Who's that?

00:31:33.700 Wait,

00:31:33.920 so you're getting fucked.

00:31:35.240 Yeah.

00:31:35.760 All right.

00:31:36.040 It depends on what you're watching.

00:31:38.560 Yeah.

00:31:38.680 It makes sense.

00:31:39.400 I think there's different types of chairs for sure.

00:31:41.500 Yeah.

00:31:42.320 You might have to invest in the right chair for you.

00:31:45.620 You know,

00:31:46.220 that's what we're saying.

00:31:47.000 That's in the right porn chair for you.

00:31:48.600 That's all that matters.

00:31:50.480 Um,

00:31:50.860 but it was pretty fascinating just how many options there were.

00:31:54.260 And I had never realized how much that went away.

00:31:56.880 I mean,

00:31:57.440 cause next,

00:31:57.900 you know,

00:31:58.020 I'm in the drama section that I'm in the comedy and then I'm seeing like,

00:32:00.780 Oh,

00:32:00.900 what about this one?

00:32:01.740 Dude,

00:32:02.000 I had never saw this.

00:32:03.340 I,

00:32:03.520 I heard this came out and,

00:32:04.640 but it was like,

00:32:05.560 I had so much ability to choose and I,

00:32:09.000 it was,

00:32:09.620 um,

00:32:10.220 anyway,

00:32:10.420 it was just kind of fascinating.

00:32:11.160 And it was fun.

00:32:12.000 Cause then you would watch those movies.

00:32:13.880 Yeah.

00:32:14.200 You know what I mean?

00:32:14.700 Like that's what you were going to do that night.

00:32:17.120 Like Netflix and,

00:32:18.720 and you know,

00:32:19.840 all the streaming services.

00:32:21.060 Yeah.

00:32:21.460 I love,

00:32:22.080 I love Netflix.

00:32:23.160 Yeah.

00:32:23.400 They are my good guy.

00:32:24.760 They are my corporate overlords,

00:32:26.520 but,

00:32:27.300 uh,

00:32:28.640 but we're talking about how the business has changed and that's okay.

00:32:31.160 They're worried about it too.

00:32:32.420 Yeah.

00:32:32.600 But like you can just turn off a movie.

00:32:35.040 You could watch 15 minutes of something and go,

00:32:37.900 I don't want to do this now.

00:32:39.880 But like when you had the movie and that was what you were doing,

00:32:42.580 you would watch a bad movie and watch the entire thing because you spent the $8 or whatever it was to rent the damn movie.

00:32:49.840 So you're like,

00:32:50.260 well,

00:32:50.380 we have to watch this piece of shit.

00:32:53.620 We're fucking.

00:32:54.460 Yeah.

00:32:54.640 They're not even showing the other half of the nipple.

00:32:57.120 So I don't know why we got to wait to the very end for the other half nipple to flop out.

00:33:02.540 Oh dude.

00:33:03.280 Dang.

00:33:04.140 There was something about that,

00:33:05.360 huh?

00:33:05.820 And also I feel like,

00:33:07.940 I feel big candy's probably pretty bummed because you're no,

00:33:11.500 no longer are you,

00:33:12.780 you're not going to the store because you're going to go home and watch Netflix and getting all the jujubes and Mike and Ikes and,

00:33:20.100 and all the candies.

00:33:21.620 Hot tamals.

00:33:22.140 Hot tamals.

00:33:23.660 What are other candies?

00:33:24.520 Lemon heads.

00:33:25.360 Oh,

00:33:25.580 lemon heads.

00:33:25.980 Oh,

00:33:26.100 the ones that had the little bitty,

00:33:27.820 uh,

00:33:28.340 white crystals,

00:33:29.420 the little white circles on them.

00:33:31.340 That's crystal meth.

00:33:31.900 Snow caps.

00:33:32.280 Snow caps.

00:33:33.560 Snow caps.

00:33:34.140 Okay.

00:33:34.340 Which is also a street term for crystal meth.

00:33:36.620 So let's go fucking.

00:33:38.260 Bro,

00:33:38.600 anybody that I knew immediately,

00:33:40.440 if somebody got junior mints,

00:33:42.000 dude,

00:33:42.240 that they were probably into some sick stuff with children.

00:33:46.100 That's what I thought.

00:33:46.800 If I saw anybody.

00:33:48.580 That's my favorite candy.

00:33:50.920 It is.

00:33:51.980 It is.

00:33:52.500 Are you serious?

00:33:53.280 I love junior mints.

00:33:54.600 Why?

00:33:54.960 Okay.

00:33:55.640 Hang on.

00:33:56.420 It's not about,

00:33:57.180 I'm not fucking kids.

00:33:59.960 I don't want you.

00:34:00.540 Yeah.

00:34:00.780 You set me up.

00:34:01.480 My bad.

00:34:02.080 I walked into it though.

00:34:03.080 I shouldn't have admitted it,

00:34:04.020 but you put,

00:34:05.120 yeah,

00:34:05.460 I,

00:34:06.060 but you put,

00:34:07.420 you put,

00:34:07.980 uh,

00:34:08.400 you get the popcorn,

00:34:09.600 you put the junior mints in there.

00:34:10.940 It's a,

00:34:11.340 it's a sweet treat with the salty popcorn.

00:34:14.500 They're not sweet.

00:34:15.400 They have fucking mint.

00:34:16.560 I don't do that.

00:34:17.000 That's a surprise.

00:34:18.960 Who hides fucking mint?

00:34:21.000 Bro,

00:34:21.260 mint is like spearmint.

00:34:22.820 Who hides it under a little layer of chocolate?

00:34:24.840 and it's all gooey?

00:34:25.940 Yeah.

00:34:26.720 Now the gooey part is kind of,

00:34:28.220 I do,

00:34:28.600 the texture,

00:34:29.300 I don't mind.

00:34:30.080 Yeah.

00:34:30.840 But it's just some of the others.

00:34:32.120 It's the,

00:34:33.260 I just don't like mint.

00:34:34.600 I don't want mint to be there

00:34:35.720 when I'm trying to have something sweet.

00:34:37.020 Dang,

00:34:37.360 dude,

00:34:37.520 I'm sorry.

00:34:38.160 It's okay.

00:34:39.040 Shit.

00:34:39.400 But it makes me mad.

00:34:41.300 I can tell,

00:34:42.280 dude,

00:34:42.440 you're flexing on me.

00:34:43.420 It makes me angry,

00:34:44.380 dude.

00:34:44.420 Yeah,

00:34:44.680 I can tell.

00:34:45.660 It makes my fucking teeth

00:34:46.880 want to climb through my gum.

00:34:47.960 Oh shit.

00:34:49.380 Fuck.

00:34:50.380 Hey,

00:34:50.580 my bad,

00:34:51.160 dude.

00:34:51.340 Hey,

00:34:51.680 lemon heads are my favorite.

00:34:52.820 All right.

00:34:53.440 Okay.

00:34:53.900 All right.

00:34:55.440 Lemon heads were a little crazy too.

00:34:57.480 Yeah.

00:34:57.740 Remember how powerful some candies were

00:34:59.380 when you were a kid?

00:35:00.520 Oh boy.

00:35:02.260 Yeah,

00:35:02.440 I used to,

00:35:03.160 Hot tamales were pretty powerful

00:35:04.240 when you were young.

00:35:05.640 Dude,

00:35:05.840 when I was a,

00:35:07.260 in high school,

00:35:08.420 someone got me as a gift

00:35:10.120 a 10 pound bucket

00:35:11.420 of Mike and Ike's.

00:35:13.440 I love Mike and Ike's.

00:35:14.720 I ate the whole 10 pound bucket

00:35:17.220 in a weekend.

00:35:18.800 Wow.

00:35:19.320 And I,

00:35:20.520 when I took a shit,

00:35:21.500 it came out at nine,

00:35:22.640 not even joking,

00:35:23.460 dude,

00:35:23.620 it was translucent.

00:35:24.760 Oh.

00:35:25.960 I like,

00:35:26.340 I shit out like a,

00:35:27.600 just a giant Mike and Ike.

00:35:28.980 That's unbelievable.

00:35:29.960 That's beautiful.

00:35:30.840 Yeah,

00:35:31.040 dude.

00:35:31.920 God.

00:35:32.360 So now we know what clip

00:35:33.620 is going to be used

00:35:34.840 to promote this podcast.

00:35:36.780 My shit was translucent.

00:35:39.860 And I'm,

00:35:40.520 I even saying that right?

00:35:41.480 Translucent?

00:35:42.860 It just means clear,

00:35:44.480 right?

00:35:44.840 Yeah.

00:35:45.300 Yeah,

00:35:45.760 okay,

00:35:46.120 all right.

00:35:46.380 Yeah,

00:35:46.560 they should just say clear.

00:35:47.620 Clear,

00:35:48.020 yeah,

00:35:48.180 I was trying to be smart.

00:35:49.400 You're fine.

00:35:50.040 I don't know why they made that word for it.

00:35:52.960 Yeah,

00:35:53.220 translucent.

00:35:56.280 Allowing light,

00:35:57.180 but not detailed shapes to pass through.

00:35:59.120 That is exactly what I meant.

00:36:00.440 I used it perfectly.

00:36:01.460 The guy did well.

00:36:02.760 Really good.

00:36:03.640 I can't,

00:36:04.360 do they have see-through dookie or not?

00:36:07.200 I've never even seen that.

00:36:08.740 Yeah,

00:36:08.960 well,

00:36:09.260 have 10 pounds of Mike and Ike's.

00:36:12.820 Have 10 pounds of Mike and Ike's.

00:36:13.540 Yeah,

00:36:13.680 every now and then somebody's got to test the science out there.

00:36:16.340 Uh-huh.

00:36:16.780 And I was willing to be that kid.

00:36:18.220 Yeah,

00:36:18.540 dude,

00:36:18.780 there was some,

00:36:19.380 you know what,

00:36:19.780 there was just,

00:36:20.200 yeah,

00:36:20.500 that was where you would see new candy at.

00:36:23.340 Now,

00:36:23.600 candy got,

00:36:24.360 there was only a few kinds of candy back in the day.

00:36:28.200 It was like a 20 kinds or something.

00:36:30.280 Yeah.

00:36:30.360 I remember like payday was like something.

00:36:32.020 My mom would get it with like the parents' candy.

00:36:34.440 Nah,

00:36:34.560 you don't,

00:36:35.420 you don't fuck with payday.

00:36:36.240 No,

00:36:36.520 never.

00:36:36.920 But like,

00:36:37.600 even like a thousand grand or whatever that was always seemed like a,

00:36:41.760 like an old person's candy.

00:36:43.300 Yeah,

00:36:43.420 but now I bet payday,

00:36:44.680 like I remember my mom would always fuck up some almond joys.

00:36:48.060 Oh yeah.

00:36:48.560 And I,

00:36:48.820 I was like,

00:36:49.360 oh fucking almond joy.

00:36:50.780 Yuck.

00:36:51.320 Yeah.

00:36:51.500 That's old people shit.

00:36:52.460 And then now like last Halloween,

00:36:54.360 I had a little snack size almond joy.

00:36:56.800 They're good.

00:36:57.280 Ooh,

00:36:57.660 we don't mind if I do.

00:37:00.860 Oh,

00:37:01.160 they're good,

00:37:01.680 man.

00:37:02.020 They are good.

00:37:03.000 You know,

00:37:03.620 I remember when they came out with nerd ropes and I was like,

00:37:07.000 they,

00:37:07.900 they done changed the game.

00:37:09.120 Yeah.

00:37:10.000 Nerd ropes.

00:37:10.880 You put it on some licorice.

00:37:12.400 Hmm.

00:37:12.900 Ooh,

00:37:13.120 we.

00:37:14.160 Yeah.

00:37:14.540 You would see a lot of people doing unique stuff with them.

00:37:17.060 A lot of people,

00:37:17.860 you'd see somebody,

00:37:18.800 some of their pants,

00:37:19.620 like a thick,

00:37:20.280 some thick little fellas.

00:37:22.160 Pants have been stitched up with nerd rope.

00:37:24.360 Like damn,

00:37:25.080 he's snacking his pants.

00:37:26.300 I'm opening it.

00:37:27.580 That's how his mom knew it.

00:37:28.540 You always saw that.

00:37:29.680 Yeah.

00:37:30.200 You always saw that growing up.

00:37:31.640 Dude,

00:37:32.060 in the nineties,

00:37:32.740 everyone's stitching their pants up with some nerd ropes.

00:37:35.820 Different times,

00:37:36.780 maybe different times.

00:37:37.860 Yeah.

00:37:38.020 Those days truly when like,

00:37:40.380 that's what,

00:37:41.180 that was your,

00:37:42.400 what you were doing for the day.

00:37:44.120 Yeah.

00:37:44.400 You were like me and my homies,

00:37:46.140 we're going to meet at somebody's front yard.

00:37:48.860 We're going to then ride our bikes to the convenience store.

00:37:51.980 Get a video game.

00:37:53.080 Yep.

00:37:53.380 We'll probably play video games in the store because they always had like Ninja

00:37:57.120 Turtles or some shit.

00:37:58.140 They did.

00:37:58.740 And then spend a dollar and a quarter on some,

00:38:02.200 on way too much candy.

00:38:03.560 Cause that's how much candy you used to be able to buy,

00:38:05.880 man.

00:38:06.260 Oh,

00:38:06.740 you would have as much as you fucking could.

00:38:08.560 And I hated Whoppers.

00:38:09.820 And then I'll tell you this.

00:38:11.300 I love them.

00:38:13.040 Whoppers.

00:38:13.480 Something just happened.

00:38:14.300 Those candies.

00:38:15.020 Oh yeah.

00:38:15.820 The Whoppers are the,

00:38:16.660 the,

00:38:16.920 the little nuggets,

00:38:18.100 little turd balls.

00:38:18.940 It's a little malted milk.

00:38:19.920 Yeah.

00:38:20.100 I like them too.

00:38:21.000 God,

00:38:21.300 they were good.

00:38:21.820 At first I was like,

00:38:22.540 what is it?

00:38:23.800 Yeah.

00:38:23.980 And then I had some more and I was like,

00:38:25.180 I can handle it.

00:38:26.020 Yeah.

00:38:26.140 You could.

00:38:27.260 I bet you could.

00:38:28.140 It was good.

00:38:28.860 Dude.

00:38:28.980 We used to have,

00:38:29.640 so this place bus,

00:38:30.700 it was past video and shrimp,

00:38:32.500 right?

00:38:33.000 So we'd bike over there and you'd get you a little film and then you'd get you a little

00:38:38.040 pound of shrimp with it,

00:38:39.180 right?

00:38:39.740 Wait,

00:38:40.160 what?

00:38:41.120 There were,

00:38:41.500 it was a video and shrimp store?

00:38:43.260 Yeah.

00:38:43.720 Off of highway 190 in Covington,

00:38:45.380 Louisiana,

00:38:45.760 you'd bike over there.

00:38:47.160 That's sick.

00:38:48.140 Oh,

00:38:48.480 it was pretty.

00:38:48.820 I love a good combo store.

00:38:50.740 It was interesting.

00:38:51.640 Yeah.

00:38:51.740 So you get the video and you get your shrimp,

00:38:55.240 man,

00:38:55.360 and roll out of there.

00:38:57.080 That's sick.

00:38:57.920 It was pretty cool.

00:38:58.760 But yeah,

00:38:59.020 it was just a different time.

00:38:59.880 You know,

00:39:00.020 it was a different time whenever you go to that.

00:39:03.380 And this,

00:39:03.840 that was even before the chain blockbuster.

00:39:05.620 I think they had,

00:39:07.140 remember,

00:39:07.540 because before that it was like individual.

00:39:09.140 Yeah.

00:39:09.460 Like Ricky's movies.

00:39:10.920 Yeah.

00:39:11.080 I had,

00:39:11.400 we had main street movies.

00:39:12.900 Yeah.

00:39:13.040 That was insane.

00:39:14.180 Not even on the main street.

00:39:15.440 It was like kind of in a neighborhood.

00:39:16.680 You're like,

00:39:17.020 this is,

00:39:17.760 that always pissed me off.

00:39:19.160 I'm like,

00:39:19.600 this isn't a main street.

00:39:20.940 This is a side street at best.

00:39:24.240 But they,

00:39:24.720 and then they had,

00:39:25.320 they,

00:39:25.520 they all,

00:39:26.300 every movie theater or movie store like that,

00:39:28.700 they had like the curtain where the naughty movies were back there.

00:39:32.460 Yeah.

00:39:32.780 And then you're at,

00:39:33.780 you're a little kid and you'd always just like try to,

00:39:37.140 try to memorize as many of the covers.

00:39:39.340 As you possibly could.

00:39:40.680 You'd just run in,

00:39:41.860 stare at a bunch of covers.

00:39:45.080 Yeah.

00:39:45.500 You're like,

00:39:45.880 memorize,

00:39:47.500 memorize.

00:39:48.140 That's what it looks like.

00:39:49.260 And then your mom's like,

00:39:50.380 Adam,

00:39:51.000 you're like,

00:39:51.320 what?

00:39:51.860 I went in there.

00:39:52.520 I thought it was a bathroom.

00:39:53.880 Like you think it's the bathroom.

00:39:54.920 Every time we come in,

00:39:56.380 you always think it's the bathroom.

00:39:59.640 Yeah.

00:40:00.000 And you've peed on the floor in there.

00:40:01.720 Six.

00:40:03.200 Yeah.

00:40:03.800 You're always going in there,

00:40:04.980 shitting on the floor.

00:40:06.380 I think you're into that scat porno.

00:40:08.500 You little creep.

00:40:10.080 That was wild,

00:40:11.240 bro.

00:40:11.340 That was fun.

00:40:12.180 That was a good time.

00:40:14.840 What else was I just looking at earlier today?

00:40:16.980 That was in the news.

00:40:17.820 Did you see,

00:40:18.260 what were we talking about earlier?

00:40:19.140 Was that?

00:40:20.460 We were watching this video.

00:40:22.040 Someone threw their mom's ashes on stage at a pink concert.

00:40:24.760 Oh,

00:40:26.100 yeah.

00:40:26.360 Yeah.

00:40:28.980 Well,

00:40:29.580 I mean,

00:40:30.000 did the mom love pink this much that that's the thing?

00:40:34.520 Is this your mom?

00:40:37.360 Is this your mom?

00:40:40.400 And how many grams is that?

00:40:43.620 Yeah.

00:40:44.020 She just started snorting her mom.

00:40:45.820 That'd be crazy.

00:40:47.080 Yeah.

00:40:47.220 She's inside of me now.

00:40:49.920 And then sings a pink song.

00:40:51.840 Don't,

00:40:52.260 couldn't tell you one pink song,

00:40:53.320 but I'm sure,

00:40:54.180 I'm sure she's great live.

00:40:55.960 Shake it like a,

00:40:57.220 what's that song she sings?

00:40:58.160 Yeah.

00:40:58.360 I don't know.

00:41:08.040 Yeah.

00:41:08.500 But that'd be something.

00:41:09.320 Yeah.

00:41:09.420 That's about the biggest thing you can do is probably throw somebody's mom on a stage.

00:41:13.900 Well,

00:41:14.340 you hope that the mom was like a diehard pink fan or us.

00:41:17.300 Like that's,

00:41:18.360 you're just carrying around your mom all over to try to like meet your heroes.

00:41:22.700 Yeah.

00:41:23.060 You're using your mom after the fact.

00:41:25.780 Like I,

00:41:26.400 if I die and,

00:41:27.300 and like my,

00:41:28.360 future,

00:41:28.760 like if I have a kid and then my kid like uses it to like go to a Jojo Siwa concert or some shit,

00:41:34.140 I'd be a little salty,

00:41:35.820 you know?

00:41:36.500 Like I'm up in heaven.

00:41:37.440 I'm like,

00:41:37.660 I don't give a shit about like Jojo Siwa.

00:41:39.600 Why are you using me to get close to Jojo Siwa?

00:41:42.240 Yeah.

00:41:42.400 They're like,

00:41:42.580 can I get in?

00:41:43.160 This is my dad.

00:41:44.000 You know,

00:41:44.180 my dad is.

00:41:44.780 And they just flash a little bag of you.

00:41:46.380 Yeah.

00:41:47.700 Throw,

00:41:48.280 throw me in someone's face.

00:41:50.840 No offense to Jojo Siwa.

00:41:52.280 I'm sure she's watching.

00:41:53.300 Oh,

00:41:53.440 I'm sure she's doing great.

00:41:54.600 One of my friends used to live next door to her actually.

00:41:56.660 Really?

00:41:57.180 Mm-hmm.

00:41:57.460 And she,

00:41:58.480 doesn't she live in like a cotton candy castle or something?

00:42:00.960 I think she does.

00:42:01.940 Yeah.

00:42:02.360 I think she lives like on one of those,

00:42:04.000 on the like northwest corner of the Candyland board.

00:42:06.560 Yeah,

00:42:06.880 absolutely.

00:42:07.620 Um,

00:42:08.180 she's a Omaha.

00:42:09.140 She's an Omaha girl.

00:42:10.120 And so are you.

00:42:10.760 I'm an Omaha boy.

00:42:11.920 Yeah.

00:42:12.120 Did you grow up around the,

00:42:13.320 uh,

00:42:13.660 World Series at all?

00:42:14.680 Oh yeah.

00:42:15.340 Did you go to whatever?

00:42:16.500 Yeah.

00:42:16.700 Oh yeah.

00:42:17.080 As a kid.

00:42:18.080 Uh,

00:42:18.480 and then what we would do is we would go out and like,

00:42:21.420 people are so drunk there that they will just give alcohol to children.

00:42:25.700 Yeah.

00:42:25.900 So you,

00:42:26.580 you would just stand by the beer tent and be like,

00:42:29.120 come on,

00:42:29.520 man.

00:42:29.760 And you're like 13.

00:42:31.380 And they're like,

00:42:32.120 they're like,

00:42:32.520 ah,

00:42:32.740 here you go.

00:42:33.780 I don't care if I go to prison.

00:42:37.120 This boy in a full on body cast is asking for beer.

00:42:40.380 He needs,

00:42:41.100 he needs one.

00:42:42.740 This boy petting this dead bird with a neck brace.

00:42:45.700 It needs a beer.

00:42:47.060 Totally.

00:42:47.860 Dude,

00:42:48.160 that's great.

00:42:49.020 Yeah.

00:42:49.200 Yeah.

00:42:49.340 Yeah.

00:42:49.660 There's something about like,

00:42:51.040 um,

00:42:51.860 there's some,

00:42:52.420 there was some empowering thing probably for an adult giving liquor to a kid.

00:42:57.640 Yeah.

00:42:58.260 I feel like I haven't done that enough.

00:43:01.220 As I've been an adult,

00:43:02.580 it's probably fun to see a kid get fucked up.

00:43:04.720 Is that an insane thing to say?

00:43:06.220 No,

00:43:06.680 dude is for sure.

00:43:07.560 Fun.

00:43:07.920 It's got like,

00:43:08.600 it's always like a safe environment.

00:43:10.360 Yeah.

00:43:10.620 As long as it's a safe,

00:43:11.920 even if it's not that safe,

00:43:13.280 you know,

00:43:13.640 you're like,

00:43:14.200 you got to learn how to handle yourself,

00:43:15.920 young man.

00:43:16.500 Yeah.

00:43:16.820 It is a little bit like when you see,

00:43:19.820 like when you see a kid who did not drink and then they go off to college.

00:43:24.600 I remember like our valedictorian or like she was,

00:43:28.120 I don't know,

00:43:28.460 maybe she wasn't,

00:43:29.160 but she was very smart girl.

00:43:30.220 I was never at any of the dumb kid parties that I was at.

00:43:34.500 I saw her in college.

00:43:35.820 This girl was like cross-eyed blackout,

00:43:38.020 like looking at me with like one fucking cyborg eye.

00:43:41.140 The other eyes like asleep.

00:43:42.460 I'm like,

00:43:43.040 this girl is in trouble.

00:43:44.540 Yeah.

00:43:44.960 This girl.

00:43:45.760 Percocet.

00:43:46.480 Yeah.

00:43:47.920 Exactly.

00:43:48.640 Yeah.

00:43:48.820 You know who I'm talking about.

00:43:49.820 I was like,

00:43:52.100 she didn't practice enough.

00:43:53.660 Yeah.

00:43:54.080 You got to practice a little bit.

00:43:55.420 So then when you get to the big leagues,

00:43:57.360 you know how to handle your scandal a little bit.

00:43:59.980 Don't practice too much.

00:44:01.160 Yeah.

00:44:01.680 You're going to get in trouble.

00:44:02.640 Oh,

00:44:02.860 dude,

00:44:03.020 my friends would pick me up and I was a lightweight.

00:44:05.000 So when it came to weed early on,

00:44:06.760 you know,

00:44:07.000 they'd pick me up and one of my buddies,

00:44:09.140 he drove a church van or something or he commandeered one or whatever.

00:44:13.560 I don't know how he got it,

00:44:14.480 but he'd show up in this church van,

00:44:16.420 dude.

00:44:16.580 He stole a church van.

00:44:17.460 Yeah.

00:44:17.720 I mean,

00:44:18.200 it was different.

00:44:18.960 Look,

00:44:19.180 I mean,

00:44:19.480 yeah,

00:44:19.640 yeah,

00:44:19.820 yeah.

00:44:20.320 The church let him use it late at night.

00:44:22.220 Oh,

00:44:22.240 okay.

00:44:23.060 Yeah.

00:44:23.480 For,

00:44:23.680 for crimes.

00:44:25.400 But there was the different rows in the church van and whatever row you

00:44:28.860 in,

00:44:29.040 it got more detrimental to your health.

00:44:31.420 Like the further to the back you got,

00:44:33.240 like the back was like,

00:44:34.160 people were,

00:44:35.060 you know,

00:44:35.820 yeah.

00:44:36.380 There's just like a small fire back there.

00:44:38.480 Everybody,

00:44:39.140 everybody's just cracked out,

00:44:40.620 staying warm.

00:44:41.800 Yeah.

00:44:42.200 And one of the people staying warm is like an abortion that like made it,

00:44:45.720 you know,

00:44:46.120 like four day old,

00:44:48.700 you know,

00:44:48.860 there's a,

00:44:49.400 there's a failed abortion clinic in the very back where they can't figure it,

00:44:53.540 quite figure it out.

00:44:54.480 They keep having babies,

00:44:55.700 but the front seat,

00:44:56.660 they're just drinking like the hard seltzer.

00:44:59.280 Yeah.

00:44:59.760 Yeah.

00:45:00.260 Yeah.

00:45:00.460 The front seat is just like,

00:45:01.420 it's like people looking at a map.

00:45:02.800 I'm looking at directions.

00:45:03.840 Yeah.

00:45:04.160 Just trying to figure out how to get back to the church.

00:45:06.520 Yeah.

00:45:06.720 Yeah.

00:45:06.960 Second seat is a hard seltzer.

00:45:08.700 Yeah.

00:45:09.140 Third seat is remedial reading.

00:45:10.480 That was always remedial reading.

00:45:11.840 Yeah.

00:45:12.320 So it was like,

00:45:13.140 yeah.

00:45:13.380 Because if you can't read remedial,

00:45:17.280 we,

00:45:17.640 then you also like,

00:45:21.140 then you probably can't handle hard seltzer.

00:45:23.380 You know what I mean?

00:45:24.460 Or no,

00:45:25.180 that's probably the exact opposite.

00:45:27.100 Yeah.

00:45:27.380 So if you can't read,

00:45:30.020 you can drink hard seltzer as water all day long.

00:45:32.460 That's all you want to do.

00:45:33.740 And it got weird.

00:45:34.580 Yeah.

00:45:34.800 The further towards the back,

00:45:35.920 it got weirder,

00:45:36.900 but yeah,

00:45:37.140 they would come and they would test.

00:45:38.520 A lot of times they would give me the weed to test it out,

00:45:40.920 you know,

00:45:41.140 because I was kind of like,

00:45:42.340 I would fall asleep a lot of times.

00:45:43.980 Like we'd go out,

00:45:44.780 I would literally fall asleep because the weed was real strong.

00:45:47.440 And then they'd wake me up when it was literally time to go home.

00:45:49.940 Like I'd miss the whole night,

00:45:51.040 you know,

00:45:51.540 I had a real,

00:45:53.200 I had a real sleeping disorder maybe for like six or seven years kind of.

00:45:59.220 And so anyway,

00:46:01.160 but yeah,

00:46:02.460 I remember just being in my buddy's dad's van and we would,

00:46:05.360 you know,

00:46:05.580 we would sleep in there and just get really,

00:46:08.020 really high.

00:46:08.840 And,

00:46:08.980 and he,

00:46:10.580 one of the,

00:46:11.200 one of the kids,

00:46:12.500 dad's had some sunglasses.

00:46:13.700 He sold sunglasses for a living or whatever.

00:46:16.020 Yeah.

00:46:16.300 Hell of a living.

00:46:17.400 Oh yeah.

00:46:18.100 And with the sun,

00:46:18.840 there's unlimited.

00:46:19.240 Was he like an Oakley rep or these,

00:46:20.940 were like knock,

00:46:21.600 knock off?

00:46:22.460 No,

00:46:22.580 he was like a rep.

00:46:23.540 Oh shit.

00:46:24.180 So we had all the different types,

00:46:25.480 you know?

00:46:25.980 So that's a cool guy to know.

00:46:27.540 It was pretty,

00:46:28.020 yeah,

00:46:28.500 he was pretty cool.

00:46:29.320 He was cool actually.

00:46:30.200 I only,

00:46:30.560 I didn't know him real well.

00:46:31.500 We would sometimes do drugs at his house when he wasn't there.

00:46:34.820 Yeah.

00:46:35.360 So that's pretty cool.

00:46:36.620 It was cool.

00:46:37.140 We didn't get to know him though.

00:46:38.140 Yeah.

00:46:38.360 But yeah.

00:46:38.920 Well,

00:46:39.060 that's a cool dad.

00:46:40.840 Not home,

00:46:42.400 wrap around sunglasses at night.

00:46:45.160 Kids are doing drugs in the basement.

00:46:48.140 Some dad like driving cross country to South Oakley.

00:46:51.200 Yeah.

00:46:51.460 So like gas stations and stuff.

00:46:53.620 Yeah.

00:46:54.260 While you're doing drugs at his house as a good guy.

00:46:57.580 Well,

00:46:57.760 you think he's a cool dad.

00:46:59.080 Yeah.

00:46:59.220 He's a total degenerate to other adults,

00:47:01.820 but to the kids,

00:47:02.900 it's like pretty cool guy.

00:47:03.940 We're like,

00:47:04.140 Todd,

00:47:04.440 your dad's awesome,

00:47:05.220 man.

00:47:06.080 He's like,

00:47:06.660 I haven't seen my dad in two months.

00:47:08.300 Todd senior is for sure,

00:47:09.980 for sure awesome.

00:47:11.220 But we would just get wasted.

00:47:12.500 He's urinated all over his glasses supply,

00:47:15.220 right?

00:47:15.380 Like at night.

00:47:16.260 So then like the two days later,

00:47:18.240 whatever,

00:47:18.540 he rolls up to some place with a bunch of just soaking wet boxes.

00:47:22.320 And he's like,

00:47:22.940 they're selling like hotcakes.

00:47:24.380 I don't know.

00:47:25.540 Something about the stink of these glasses are flying off the shelves.

00:47:29.320 And I feel bad about some of that shit.

00:47:32.380 Yeah.

00:47:33.020 You know,

00:47:33.840 we used to,

00:47:35.240 there's this girl in high school that we,

00:47:37.760 I,

00:47:38.040 it wasn't me,

00:47:38.760 but we,

00:47:39.360 my friends would call her Skeletor and she was a very mean to us,

00:47:44.680 but for some reason we'd still go to her parties.

00:47:46.920 And then my friends were like pissing her parents' closets and shit.

00:47:50.180 Yeah.

00:47:51.140 That's a mean thing to do.

00:47:52.560 In hindsight,

00:47:53.220 you're like wildly mean.

00:47:54.360 Why are we doing that?

00:47:55.560 This girl invited us to a party.

00:47:57.460 Yeah.

00:47:57.820 We're calling her Skeletor and pissing in closets.

00:48:00.000 That's kids.

00:48:00.840 That's mean as shit.

00:48:01.920 It's super mean.

00:48:03.100 Yeah.

00:48:03.860 People just did that kind of stuff.

00:48:05.140 We had some kids bus,

00:48:06.680 these two gals and one of them,

00:48:08.860 she had,

00:48:09.500 I guess kind of like wide,

00:48:10.560 kind of big nostrils like me.

00:48:11.880 And this other one,

00:48:12.620 she had like a lot of gums in her smile.

00:48:14.960 And they used to call them,

00:48:16.440 uh,

00:48:17.340 if you take nostril and one of them,

00:48:20.060 they called Mr.

00:48:20.620 Ed,

00:48:20.880 cause she had longer gums and Mr.

00:48:22.440 Ed,

00:48:22.720 if you set them backwards,

00:48:23.560 it was alerts and then derm.

00:48:25.320 If you set them backwards.

00:48:26.580 Sure.

00:48:26.660 So everybody always be like,

00:48:28.020 Oh look,

00:48:28.360 it's alerts and then derm all the time.

00:48:30.180 It's just so dumb.

00:48:31.320 But it was like,

00:48:31.900 people would just say it so many times.

00:48:34.220 Yeah.

00:48:34.440 And then like those girls don't definitely couldn't put that together.

00:48:37.880 You know?

00:48:38.340 So they're like,

00:48:38.800 why are you calling us that?

00:48:41.420 That's not my name.

00:48:44.240 Yeah.

00:48:44.600 It was just life,

00:48:45.720 man.

00:48:46.200 Yeah.

00:48:46.700 God,

00:48:47.040 it was fun,

00:48:47.600 dude.

00:48:47.740 Yeah.

00:48:47.900 I remember we did a bunch of LSD and this lady got caged up or not lady,

00:48:51.320 but like a,

00:48:52.420 you know,

00:48:53.400 someone that was the same age as us got caged up in this room,

00:48:56.440 not even caged up,

00:48:57.600 caged up.

00:48:58.040 People said,

00:48:58.640 Hey,

00:48:58.720 you're caged up in here.

00:48:59.660 And then they were on so much acid.

00:49:01.100 They just believed they were.

00:49:02.540 Sure.

00:49:02.940 Yeah.

00:49:03.160 I'm like,

00:49:04.720 you went to parties and people were in cages.

00:49:06.860 Do we have to call someone?

00:49:08.780 No.

00:49:08.980 Meanwhile,

00:49:09.260 you could get out whenever you want.

00:49:10.640 This is an unlocked door.

00:49:11.960 Yeah.

00:49:12.200 You're in a backyard.

00:49:13.100 It's not even a room.

00:49:13.960 You're like,

00:49:14.420 there's no way you can escape.

00:49:17.040 Yeah.

00:49:17.400 I mean,

00:49:17.800 yeah.

00:49:18.040 Looking back at the shit that we used to do,

00:49:20.340 like,

00:49:20.580 you know,

00:49:20.760 the movie,

00:49:21.180 Ma,

00:49:21.560 did you ever see that movie?

00:49:22.660 Yeah,

00:49:22.840 I did.

00:49:23.040 You know who was in that movie?

00:49:24.620 Johnny Paolo,

00:49:25.520 who used to work with us.

00:49:27.340 Oh,

00:49:27.480 wow.

00:49:28.040 So my buddy,

00:49:28.880 Scotty Landis wrote the movie.

00:49:30.460 Oh,

00:49:30.740 wow.

00:49:31.020 And it's based on,

00:49:32.420 I told him a story about my childhood and he's like,

00:49:35.580 oh,

00:49:35.780 dude,

00:49:35.940 I have a very similar story.

00:49:37.480 And it was like,

00:49:38.080 I bet a lot of people do.

00:49:39.080 And then he wrote that movie,

00:49:40.040 which essentially was this woman who used to buy us beer and shit.

00:49:45.360 We'd go over to her apartment.

00:49:47.300 She made us call her mom.

00:49:49.120 No.

00:49:49.640 Yeah.

00:49:49.820 She'd be like,

00:49:50.300 just call me mom.

00:49:51.540 And you're like,

00:49:52.200 huh?

00:49:52.480 But you're like,

00:49:53.160 she's buying you beer.

00:49:54.020 So you're like,

00:49:54.620 Hey mom.

00:49:55.400 Yeah.

00:49:56.280 Can I get a 18 pack of Bush light?

00:49:58.560 And she'd like make us,

00:50:03.180 she would be like,

00:50:03.840 well,

00:50:04.040 you got us have a few here before you can leave.

00:50:06.920 And so we,

00:50:08.000 I remember just like,

00:50:09.460 she had like this crazy,

00:50:11.160 like four foot song.

00:50:13.060 Yeah.

00:50:13.320 So like there was also this other adult man,

00:50:16.380 like these people were like adults and they're just like bong ripping with like 16 year old kids.

00:50:21.700 And I like,

00:50:23.240 I took,

00:50:23.700 I took enough bong rips that I turned like green.

00:50:26.520 Yeah.

00:50:26.860 And then I laid down in this bed,

00:50:28.800 like fully zapped out of my head.

00:50:30.820 And it was her like daughter's bed,

00:50:32.960 her like little 13 year old daughter.

00:50:34.760 And,

00:50:35.220 uh,

00:50:35.760 she,

00:50:36.200 she daughter wasn't there.

00:50:37.480 I'm laying in the bed.

00:50:38.880 Her,

00:50:39.260 they,

00:50:39.660 she brings her daughter into the room.

00:50:41.320 She goes,

00:50:41.840 it's okay.

00:50:42.440 I just crawled into bed with him.

00:50:44.560 Yeah.

00:50:45.020 And I'm like so green and I can't move.

00:50:47.460 And I just,

00:50:48.020 this fucking little girl crawls into bed with me.

00:50:49.820 And I'm meanwhile,

00:50:50.300 I'm like 16 years old and I'm like,

00:50:52.080 this is too weird.

00:50:53.220 And then luckily my buddies like grabbed me and pulled me out of there.

00:50:56.140 And I'm like,

00:50:56.460 this is a fucking horror film,

00:50:58.080 dude.

00:50:58.400 Yeah.

00:50:58.600 Cause that is a,

00:50:59.320 that is a horror film.

00:51:00.100 That lady could be setting you up.

00:51:01.360 Who even knows?

00:51:02.420 Why is there people that are still living that much in the past where they are?

00:51:09.300 Or what do you think that is?

00:51:10.620 Like the mom that does that,

00:51:11.920 or the dad that that's more of a mom.

00:51:13.860 Is that more of a mom thing or a dad thing?

00:51:16.560 Well,

00:51:16.800 it might be a dad thing,

00:51:17.900 but then,

00:51:18.300 uh,

00:51:18.820 that dad is arrested pretty quick.

00:51:20.520 I feel like dads get arrested for that shit pretty quickly.

00:51:23.780 Moms are like,

00:51:24.700 ah,

00:51:25.660 maybe,

00:51:26.140 maybe she is,

00:51:27.120 uh,

00:51:27.400 just being a nice woman.

00:51:28.480 And,

00:51:28.920 uh,

00:51:29.420 you know,

00:51:29.920 give him a benefit of the doubt.

00:51:31.560 Guys immediately,

00:51:32.280 I think they're like,

00:51:33.060 yeah,

00:51:33.520 he's a creep.

00:51:34.340 He goes to prison.

00:51:35.060 Uh,

00:51:36.200 yeah,

00:51:36.500 the fact that we were able to party at this woman's house and like,

00:51:39.980 yeah,

00:51:40.260 it was,

00:51:40.920 it was,

00:51:41.260 it was a strange thing.

00:51:42.320 Every town has a couple of cool,

00:51:43.580 kind of cool moms like that.

00:51:44.860 Yeah.

00:51:45.340 You know,

00:51:45.840 and they're fucking cool,

00:51:47.180 dude.

00:51:47.520 And sometimes they drive a van.

00:51:48.680 One of them,

00:51:49.200 I remember drove a van with like that swimming pool ladder on the back.

00:51:52.200 Like what the fuck?

00:51:53.040 Yeah.

00:51:53.240 I remember the,

00:51:53.880 yeah.

00:51:54.540 Why did you?

00:51:55.120 Yeah.

00:51:55.460 Every time you go up there,

00:51:56.240 there's no pool up there.

00:51:57.600 There's not a pool.

00:51:58.320 There's never been a pool up there.

00:51:59.700 Like this is a fucking weight limit.

00:52:01.160 It would,

00:52:01.880 yeah,

00:52:02.060 you couldn't put a pool up there.

00:52:03.500 This van's a lot.

00:52:04.880 Yeah.

00:52:05.240 Yeah.

00:52:06.420 Uh,

00:52:07.020 yeah.

00:52:07.200 I feel also vans.

00:52:09.440 Where are vans?

00:52:10.700 Yeah.

00:52:11.460 Vans up and disappeared,

00:52:13.000 dude.

00:52:13.680 They were so good.

00:52:15.220 Well,

00:52:15.380 my mom had a,

00:52:16.280 had a,

00:52:16.820 a minivan that had like those twinkly lights.

00:52:21.880 Oh,

00:52:22.320 wow.

00:52:22.800 Yeah.

00:52:23.220 Not a fan.

00:52:23.920 It was not particularly fancy.

00:52:25.360 It was called a Mark three and it had like the little lights.

00:52:28.620 You remember in the movie theaters?

00:52:29.900 That looks like it on the top left.

00:52:30.980 Oh,

00:52:31.180 that's a Mark two.

00:52:32.240 Yeah.

00:52:32.560 That's a Mark two.

00:52:33.220 Ours is the Mark.

00:52:33.880 Oh,

00:52:33.940 that's a Mark three.

00:52:34.700 yeah.

00:52:34.980 So essentially this and then a dumb ladder.

00:52:38.580 And then there was a little like 13 inch TV with a cassette.

00:52:44.660 So we'd watch,

00:52:45.720 we'd watch half baked in there.

00:52:47.660 Yeah.

00:52:48.400 You know,

00:52:48.800 we would,

00:52:49.380 uh,

00:52:49.900 you know,

00:52:50.400 on road trips,

00:52:51.140 I'd,

00:52:51.320 I'd queue up some Forrest Gump,

00:52:53.740 put that,

00:52:54.240 put that bitch on repeat,

00:52:55.840 just run it right back.

00:52:58.380 Dude,

00:52:58.820 I remember my mom got a Dodge neon,

00:53:00.460 car.

00:53:01.160 And we'd never had like a nice car before.

00:53:03.120 And we went and my brother and I would go and sleep in it at night and sleep,

00:53:07.480 put the passenger seats down and the driver's seat down and sleep in there.

00:53:12.260 It was so nice to pull it up.

00:53:15.060 A Dodge neon.

00:53:16.520 Yeah.

00:53:16.720 You know what I'm talking about?

00:53:17.380 Well,

00:53:17.540 yeah,

00:53:17.660 but that's not a van.

00:53:18.640 It's just a car.

00:53:19.400 Oh,

00:53:19.600 it was a van to us,

00:53:20.600 man.

00:53:20.740 It was beautiful.

00:53:21.860 It was so spacious.

00:53:23.000 Cause before that she'd had a Ford Festiva.

00:53:27.200 Oh yeah.

00:53:28.240 My,

00:53:28.680 uh,

00:53:29.040 you've ever seen those.

00:53:29.980 Yes.

00:53:30.880 My mom had,

00:53:31.700 they had a Buick.

00:53:32.700 That right there.

00:53:33.440 The silver one.

00:53:34.000 Mom had that.

00:53:34.940 And she used to beat us.

00:53:36.000 And I,

00:53:36.480 I literally,

00:53:37.020 that car ran by abuse.

00:53:40.260 Yeah.

00:53:40.600 That's what it was powered by.

00:53:41.660 My mom could play us like the drums.

00:53:43.300 Like she would sit in the fucking driver's seat and literally like,

00:53:46.500 like,

00:53:47.080 and the roof would like start to droop on you.

00:53:50.480 Like the root.

00:53:51.460 That's what our,

00:53:52.280 our,

00:53:52.520 my mom's car.

00:53:53.260 Like it would like the roof,

00:53:55.180 no longer,

00:53:55.820 the felt.

00:53:56.620 Oh yeah.

00:53:57.180 No longer stuck to the ceiling.

00:53:58.660 And it would just start to droop down and you'd be in the backseat with like a roof,

00:54:02.660 like hanging like it's some swoopy bangs,

00:54:05.520 but it's just the roof to the car.

00:54:07.160 Yeah.

00:54:07.500 You'd be like,

00:54:08.040 I hate you mom.

00:54:09.340 Yeah.

00:54:10.400 God,

00:54:10.940 get a car that I can see out of.

00:54:14.180 Dude.

00:54:14.600 And that droop roof.

00:54:15.560 Cause yeah,

00:54:15.880 yeah.

00:54:16.020 A lot of those vehicles had Bell's palsy.

00:54:17.860 Yeah.

00:54:18.060 Yeah.

00:54:18.380 It was kind of sad.

00:54:19.920 A lot of those vehicles.

00:54:20.700 It was a different time.

00:54:22.160 All right.

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00:56:04.980 You know what movie I saw the other day that I really liked was

00:56:08.740 it was a Jim Carrey movie.

00:56:14.040 It was called

00:56:14.920 When He Owns the Theater

00:56:17.000 or He Goes Back and Gets That Movie Theater.

00:56:20.160 Majestic.

00:56:20.780 You ever see that movie?

00:56:21.440 Oh, I did, but that's been so long.

00:56:23.720 I feel like that's a good...

00:56:25.560 I'd go back and like just do a deep dive on all Jim Carrey movies

00:56:29.880 because he's, I mean, he's the legend.

00:56:33.480 I won my fifth grade talent show doing Jim Carrey impressions.

00:56:36.060 No way.

00:56:36.660 Yeah, dude.

00:56:37.740 Can you still do anything or no?

00:56:39.120 I mean, no.

00:56:39.860 They weren't even good back then.

00:56:41.220 It was just like,

00:56:41.820 somebody, you know.

00:56:43.800 It's just me doing mask.

00:56:46.000 Yeah.

00:56:47.180 Yeah.

00:56:47.860 It was good.

00:56:50.200 Did you ever go to...

00:56:52.280 Because you moved,

00:56:53.620 you moved,

00:56:54.320 you grew up in Omaha?

00:56:55.720 Yeah, I grew up in Waterloo, Iowa

00:56:58.040 until I was 10

00:56:58.900 and then we moved to Omaha

00:57:00.460 and then I,

00:57:01.580 until high school

00:57:02.280 and then after I graduated

00:57:03.340 I moved to LA.

00:57:04.860 Did you ever go to the Field of Dreams?

00:57:07.140 In Iowa?

00:57:07.820 Yeah.

00:57:08.300 You did?

00:57:08.880 Mm-hmm.

00:57:09.620 Cool, isn't it?

00:57:10.400 It's way cool, yeah.

00:57:11.360 It's kind of,

00:57:11.760 it's in like the middle of nowhere.

00:57:13.160 Yeah.

00:57:13.500 It's just like a baseball field.

00:57:14.540 Yeah, Dyersville it is.

00:57:16.040 I love the Midwest.

00:57:17.400 My mom went to school

00:57:18.080 over there in Iowa, but...

00:57:20.600 Where at?

00:57:21.540 She went to Colen College, I think.

00:57:23.780 Oh, okay.

00:57:25.200 There it is.

00:57:27.020 Yeah, it's cool.

00:57:27.900 It's cool.

00:57:28.360 When you go see it, it's cool.

00:57:29.780 Yeah, I,

00:57:30.440 like the Midwest,

00:57:31.460 people like,

00:57:32.000 people give it such a bad rap,

00:57:34.620 but it is just,

00:57:35.580 it's just,

00:57:36.260 people are so nice.

00:57:38.820 It's like beautiful.

00:57:40.000 Like, Iowa's a very pretty state.

00:57:41.920 Oh, I love it, man.

00:57:42.760 Like rolling hills

00:57:43.780 and just green,

00:57:45.220 beautiful fields,

00:57:46.720 you know,

00:57:46.980 cornfields.

00:57:48.140 It's cool.

00:57:49.080 Well, also like Purina dog brand was from,

00:57:52.240 there's a lot of famous old brands

00:57:53.460 that are from there,

00:57:54.160 like...

00:57:54.440 John Deere.

00:57:55.640 Yep.

00:57:56.580 Um,

00:57:57.340 what else?

00:57:58.960 Oh,

00:58:00.700 Russell Stover,

00:58:01.680 I think,

00:58:01.940 where's that from?

00:58:05.420 God,

00:58:05.900 imagine knowing him.

00:58:07.600 Russell?

00:58:08.960 I'd love it.

00:58:09.840 Kansas City,

00:58:10.380 Missouri.

00:58:10.980 Oh, yeah.

00:58:11.600 Kansas,

00:58:11.860 right there.

00:58:12.580 Kansas City,

00:58:13.020 Missouri.

00:58:13.520 It's like,

00:58:14.060 it's like accepted as the Midwest,

00:58:15.980 even though I feel like it's getting a little wild west,

00:58:18.320 kind of.

00:58:18.860 It's a little bit.

00:58:19.760 What I like about Kansas City is,

00:58:22.340 like that,

00:58:22.820 there was like a real mafia element.

00:58:25.740 Oh, yes.

00:58:26.760 Because St. Louis has a mafia element.

00:58:28.480 Yeah,

00:58:28.500 Kansas City,

00:58:29.060 there was like the Kansas City mob bosses,

00:58:31.200 and like,

00:58:31.520 they wouldn't go west to there.

00:58:33.580 Like,

00:58:33.740 so the mob bosses would be in there,

00:58:35.240 and they would control Vegas,

00:58:36.640 because they couldn't get any closer,

00:58:38.600 because the feds would come down on them.

00:58:40.820 Fuck,

00:58:41.160 that's crazy.

00:58:41.260 At least that's what like,

00:58:42.200 Casino taught me,

00:58:43.280 the movie.

00:58:44.280 Yeah,

00:58:44.500 I believe a lot of that.

00:58:45.660 Yeah.

00:58:46.280 I believe a lot of that,

00:58:47.260 man.

00:58:48.220 Um,

00:58:48.920 is there a movie that you've been thinking about,

00:58:51.740 like,

00:58:51.820 do you,

00:58:52.160 like,

00:58:52.440 so you have this one done,

00:58:54.460 is there like another movie that now you,

00:58:56.560 like,

00:58:56.860 do you have to wait to see how this one does,

00:58:58.760 to see if you get other opportunities?

00:59:00.780 How does that kind of work in your business?

00:59:02.500 Because you've had a good,

00:59:04.040 you've had a good run.

00:59:04.940 A lot of guys don't get,

00:59:05.940 don't get some of the same opportunities,

00:59:07.740 you know,

00:59:08.300 for sure.

00:59:09.340 Uh,

00:59:09.680 yeah,

00:59:09.900 kind of.

00:59:10.280 You always have to be thinking like,

00:59:11.620 what's the next thing?

00:59:13.480 Uh,

00:59:14.320 but yes,

00:59:14.860 I think this one,

00:59:16.340 I have a lot riding on this one,

00:59:18.520 you know,

00:59:18.860 so they,

00:59:19.660 they,

00:59:20.220 Netflix really wants it to do well.

00:59:22.300 I really want it to do well,

00:59:23.840 and I think if it does well,

00:59:25.040 then Netflix will,

00:59:26.560 let me make it a handful more.

00:59:28.920 That's great.

00:59:29.360 Which would be great.

00:59:30.620 Yeah,

00:59:30.780 man,

00:59:31.000 we'll make sure.

00:59:31.520 Watch it July 7th.

00:59:32.820 We will.

00:59:33.440 Uh,

00:59:33.940 yeah,

00:59:34.260 so,

00:59:34.660 um,

00:59:35.140 yeah,

00:59:35.340 but I have like the next couple ideas cooking right now.

00:59:39.720 So as soon as,

00:59:41.500 the writers were on strike,

00:59:43.080 so I technically,

00:59:44.220 I can't go pitch a movie right now.

00:59:46.160 Yeah.

00:59:46.420 So like,

00:59:46.920 I have it ready to go,

00:59:48.320 and then as soon as we are not striking any longer,

00:59:52.240 I'll,

00:59:52.600 uh,

00:59:53.460 I'll flop on into that movie studio and pitch my wares.

00:59:58.060 Um,

00:59:58.620 do you pitch something before you write it?

01:00:01.520 Yeah,

01:00:02.000 sometimes,

01:00:02.800 uh,

01:00:03.440 you know,

01:00:03.820 uh,

01:00:04.520 sometimes it's,

01:00:06.160 you want to,

01:00:07.220 it depends.

01:00:08.520 Every project's like different,

01:00:09.620 but sometimes if the idea is like too weird that you feel like the executive wouldn't be able to,

01:00:16.020 to get it,

01:00:17.100 then we wouldn't,

01:00:19.200 I w we would just write it and then go sell it.

01:00:22.640 Uh,

01:00:23.080 but if it's like a hooky idea like this,

01:00:25.380 uh,

01:00:25.660 the outlaws,

01:00:26.420 like when you,

01:00:27.420 you understand the movie when I write it to you.

01:00:29.580 So you're like,

01:00:30.080 Oh,

01:00:30.340 I get it.

01:00:31.600 You could just pitch that idea and they'll buy that idea.

01:00:34.220 And then,

01:00:34.680 and then you're kind of on the track already.

01:00:37.880 Um,

01:00:38.660 you're,

01:00:39.620 show the gemstones.

01:00:40.800 Are you guys finished doing it?

01:00:41.760 Are you just waiting to see if you can do it again?

01:00:43.720 I think we'll probably do it again.

01:00:45.860 I'm,

01:00:46.060 I'm Danny's pretty confident.

01:00:47.360 He wants to do another couple of seasons of it.

01:00:49.780 It's so fucking fun,

01:00:51.000 dude.

01:00:51.060 Yeah.

01:00:51.420 And,

01:00:51.740 and Danny McBride is like,

01:00:53.600 I'm not,

01:00:54.080 you know,

01:00:54.580 like you said earlier,

01:00:55.400 I'm just like so damn lucky to like the,

01:00:59.120 that they allow me to keep doing this shit.

01:01:00.860 Yeah.

01:01:01.200 Uh,

01:01:01.640 and it's so ridiculous.

01:01:04.160 Danny McBride is like a,

01:01:05.460 a true comedy hero of mine.

01:01:07.280 Like I remember when me and the workaholics guys,

01:01:09.600 like way before we got workaholics,

01:01:11.060 when we were still doing like internet sketch stuff,

01:01:13.360 uh,

01:01:15.780 Durs came over.

01:01:17.220 Anders Holm came over with a DVD.

01:01:19.760 He like knew an agent that slipped him a DVD of the foot fist way.

01:01:24.220 Yeah.

01:01:24.500 You ever see that movie?

01:01:25.280 So good.

01:01:25.740 So good,

01:01:26.260 dude.

01:01:26.420 And,

01:01:27.040 um,

01:01:27.480 so good.

01:01:28.360 Jody Hill directed it.

01:01:29.540 Danny is the star of it.

01:01:31.320 And Jody's,

01:01:31.760 does Jody write on Jim stones?

01:01:33.320 Yeah.

01:01:33.540 He directs a lot of the episodes.

01:01:35.200 Wow.

01:01:35.360 What is he like?

01:01:36.180 He's the best dude.

01:01:37.040 He's just like the coolest.

01:01:38.120 They're all just the coolest,

01:01:39.060 nicest dudes.

01:01:40.160 And,

01:01:40.620 uh,

01:01:40.880 I mean,

01:01:41.140 you get along.

01:01:41.840 So fucking good,

01:01:42.680 dude.

01:01:42.980 When he's trying to break that,

01:01:44.280 they break that board.

01:01:46.280 Yeah.

01:01:47.000 He's,

01:01:47.440 I mean,

01:01:48.160 so funny.

01:01:49.060 And we,

01:01:50.360 we were writing sketches together and we would write every Wednesday and try to shoot something every weekend.

01:01:55.420 That's what that was like our,

01:01:56.400 our schedule.

01:01:58.000 And so Durst comes over and he's like,

01:01:59.660 we're not going to write anything.

01:02:00.740 We're going to watch this movie.

01:02:01.800 I heard it's,

01:02:03.140 it's unbelievable.

01:02:04.080 And we're like,

01:02:04.660 all right.

01:02:04.980 And we watched it and we were like,

01:02:06.420 holy shit.

01:02:07.320 And then we watched it right back.

01:02:08.760 We watched it two times in a row.

01:02:10.660 And it was the first time that we were like,

01:02:13.040 oh,

01:02:13.260 we can,

01:02:14.520 not that it wasn't great.

01:02:15.940 Cause it was great,

01:02:16.620 but it was like,

01:02:17.100 they felt like we know those dudes.

01:02:19.220 Like we are,

01:02:20.140 we can make movies like that.

01:02:21.620 Like,

01:02:22.060 you know what I mean?

01:02:22.560 Like,

01:02:22.900 like Will Ferrell,

01:02:24.120 since he does like these big characters and his movies are like big and broad.

01:02:28.440 Can't really do that.

01:02:29.320 Yeah.

01:02:29.580 It felt like unobtainable.

01:02:31.200 Yeah.

01:02:31.460 And so this,

01:02:32.280 it felt like,

01:02:33.000 oh,

01:02:33.100 we can make a movie like this.

01:02:35.360 It feels like down and dirty.

01:02:36.640 And like,

01:02:37.000 we could,

01:02:37.340 we could do this like with our friends.

01:02:39.020 And then we started to,

01:02:40.500 that sort of changed our idea of like what we were doing.

01:02:43.860 Cause we were playing like more characters or doing like,

01:02:46.200 bits with,

01:02:48.400 with our sketches.

01:02:49.160 And then we were like,

01:02:49.860 we should just play,

01:02:50.700 kind of play ourselves.

01:02:51.880 Yeah.

01:02:52.160 And that's sort of how workaholics,

01:02:54.340 like that was the start of like trying to do sketches where I'm Adam,

01:02:59.640 but like I exaggerated version of myself,

01:03:01.780 you know?

01:03:02.360 And,

01:03:02.720 and then workaholics was kind of born out of.

01:03:06.040 You guys being yourselves just in an environment.

01:03:08.820 In an environment.

01:03:09.560 Yeah.

01:03:10.140 Yeah.

01:03:10.500 It's kind of the same thing that happened with me for podcasts.

01:03:12.460 And I used to have a podcast with my friend,

01:03:14.140 Matt Weiss,

01:03:14.860 and he worked,

01:03:16.420 works with TMZ.

01:03:17.620 I think he still works with them.

01:03:19.240 And we were interviewing celebrities and stuff and talking about like celebrity stuff.

01:03:26.640 He knew a lot about celebrity stuff.

01:03:28.080 He really liked that world.

01:03:30.100 And it was kind of a struggle for me cause I didn't know that much about celebrities.

01:03:35.040 And then,

01:03:35.860 uh,

01:03:37.360 then I went on Joe Rogan's show and I left out of there one day and I was like,

01:03:43.080 oh,

01:03:43.280 I just need to be,

01:03:44.520 I just need to be myself.

01:03:46.820 I just need to be in a place where I can just talk.

01:03:49.680 Well,

01:03:49.760 I think that's when comics really start to find their rhythm,

01:03:52.480 right?

01:03:52.720 Is when they,

01:03:53.720 when you get over that hump of like,

01:03:56.460 like,

01:03:58.180 I feel like every comic starts this way where they just,

01:04:01.040 they,

01:04:01.640 they have their top five comics and they try to be like a version of them.

01:04:05.600 Oh yeah.

01:04:06.320 Instead of just doing like what makes you funny.

01:04:09.540 Yeah.

01:04:09.980 Who were some of yours early?

01:04:11.840 I've like the comics.

01:04:13.200 Or that you,

01:04:13.760 do you feel like you impersonated anybody a little bit?

01:04:15.980 I know that I remember showing a tape to a guy one time I was doing like a year and he's like,

01:04:19.820 this is great if you're like a Mitch Hedberg impersonator.

01:04:23.840 Very fair.

01:04:25.640 Yeah.

01:04:26.000 I bet I was doing like some Tosh or like trying to be like Swartzen or,

01:04:30.500 or Jim Gaffigan was,

01:04:33.380 was really big at that time.

01:04:35.140 And I love how he like plays with the levels of his voice,

01:04:38.660 which I still like to do.

01:04:40.740 But I can see that now you say it a little bit.

01:04:43.080 Yeah.

01:04:43.460 So I'm,

01:04:43.940 so I,

01:04:44.500 yeah,

01:04:44.820 I'm sure there was some of that.

01:04:46.160 And then I think like when you start to find your voices,

01:04:49.140 when you go like,

01:04:50.260 yeah,

01:04:50.580 obviously like Chris Farley's like an influence of mine and Jack Blackson,

01:04:54.220 an influence of mine and Sandler,

01:04:56.220 but like what makes me,

01:04:58.720 me?

01:04:59.040 And then,

01:04:59.740 and then from then,

01:05:01.000 once I kind of committed to being myself,

01:05:03.760 I feel like everything clicked into place.

01:05:05.720 Yeah.

01:05:06.160 And a lot of that was from watching foot fist way and being like,

01:05:09.700 oh,

01:05:09.840 these guys are just,

01:05:10.780 even though Danny isn't that guy,

01:05:12.260 he's like doing a character,

01:05:13.380 but it's like,

01:05:14.340 they're doing a character from a real place that they can access and not,

01:05:20.560 you don't have to like,

01:05:21.740 on your 30th movie is when you can stretch and,

01:05:24.840 and try to be something that you aren't.

01:05:27.420 Right.

01:05:27.620 Right.

01:05:27.960 When you could be Tom Hanks,

01:05:29.340 it's like Tom Hanks didn't start off doing like,

01:05:32.300 yeah,

01:05:32.520 super dramatic or whatever.

01:05:34.200 Yeah.

01:05:34.300 Polar express.

01:05:34.980 Exactly.

01:05:35.280 Yeah.

01:05:37.340 It's,

01:05:37.640 it's kind of fascinating,

01:05:38.960 man,

01:05:39.120 that we all pick up pieces of other people.

01:05:42.080 There's a famous book about that.

01:05:43.900 It's called,

01:05:44.600 it's like bar.

01:05:45.660 I don't know if it's called borrow,

01:05:47.000 but there's a book about that.

01:05:49.660 We all like,

01:05:50.900 especially I think in entertainment,

01:05:52.060 you can't help,

01:05:53.240 but take influence from things.

01:05:54.520 Like we just interviewed Ric Flair and he talks and he,

01:05:57.200 his whole,

01:05:58.320 his,

01:05:58.680 it was,

01:05:59.880 it was unreal,

01:06:01.160 dude.

01:06:01.440 I mean,

01:06:01.720 he is.

01:06:02.260 Ric Flair will text me every year for my birthday.

01:06:05.400 I'm like,

01:06:05.920 this is the best,

01:06:06.560 like no one,

01:06:07.180 like my friends don't even do that shit,

01:06:09.080 but Ric Flair's like,

01:06:10.220 whoa,

01:06:11.000 happy birthday,

01:06:12.020 Adam.

01:06:12.320 I'm like,

01:06:12.800 love it,

01:06:13.440 dude.

01:06:14.560 Well,

01:06:15.000 it was so interesting,

01:06:16.620 but he,

01:06:17.700 his,

01:06:18.280 his,

01:06:18.880 um,

01:06:19.660 his character,

01:06:21.440 I guess,

01:06:21.800 or some of his things that you know him from their amalgamation of other people.

01:06:27.700 Right.

01:06:28.140 And he says,

01:06:28.960 it's,

01:06:29.100 it's not any talking out of shop and he kind of like fine tuned them,

01:06:32.540 you know,

01:06:33.180 it's just interesting.

01:06:33.860 That's how everything works.

01:06:34.860 Kind of.

01:06:35.300 it's also like the generation of comics that you come up with.

01:06:39.000 Like if you're rolling with a crew,

01:06:41.020 you all are like kind of taking from each other,

01:06:44.520 like without even,

01:06:45.640 it's like how groups of friends,

01:06:46.960 when you guys are kids,

01:06:48.040 how like that group of friends,

01:06:49.420 they all have the same terminology.

01:06:52.280 Yeah.

01:06:52.440 They all have the same verbiage.

01:06:54.000 Like they talk alike,

01:06:55.260 they dress alike and you just can't help,

01:06:57.900 but,

01:06:58.100 but be like that.

01:06:59.440 Yeah.

01:07:00.120 That's just human nature.

01:07:01.240 So like when people shit on me for,

01:07:03.280 you know,

01:07:03.780 talking like this person or being like that person,

01:07:05.380 I'm like,

01:07:05.720 I'm friends with those guys.

01:07:07.340 Like,

01:07:07.600 this is just how we talk.

01:07:09.040 Right.

01:07:09.440 And some of it's paying homage to them in some type of a way,

01:07:12.580 you know,

01:07:12.780 it's like,

01:07:13.020 you're kind of,

01:07:13.560 it's like you're,

01:07:14.380 as long as you're not stealing like their jokes or like fully,

01:07:18.560 like,

01:07:18.960 I bet you would be like,

01:07:20.060 yo,

01:07:20.260 Adam,

01:07:21.280 what's with the mullet?

01:07:22.240 If I like get your exact same hair and I started like doing like your type of material,

01:07:27.120 you might be like,

01:07:27.880 what the fuck divine?

01:07:29.260 Yeah.

01:07:29.600 But like,

01:07:30.180 and if you got held back in the sixth grade,

01:07:32.100 yeah,

01:07:32.440 if I,

01:07:32.920 if I demanded to be held back in the sixth grade,

01:07:34.780 it'd be more like you.

01:07:35.740 Yeah.

01:07:37.320 And they're like,

01:07:37.940 but Adam,

01:07:38.420 you can read and do basic math.

01:07:39.920 And I'm like,

01:07:40.360 fucking hold me back.

01:07:41.320 Hold me back.

01:07:42.180 So I can be a fucking king.

01:07:43.960 Yeah.

01:07:44.920 I'm trying to be the rat king.

01:07:47.860 Oh,

01:07:48.340 it's crazy that people just let their kids go through all the gray,

01:07:51.280 like hold your kid back one year and make him a fucking legend.

01:07:56.140 I remember the kid that I was like,

01:07:59.480 my bully.

01:08:00.300 It's funny.

01:08:00.800 I've said on multiple podcasts that he was my bully.

01:08:03.520 And then my aunt,

01:08:04.880 one Thanksgiving comes up to me and goes,

01:08:07.580 Adam,

01:08:07.820 can I talk to you?

01:08:08.960 And I'm like,

01:08:09.320 yeah,

01:08:09.540 what's up?

01:08:09.920 And she goes,

01:08:10.840 do you remember Brian?

01:08:12.940 I'm not going to say his last name.

01:08:14.420 And I'm like,

01:08:15.160 yeah,

01:08:15.460 dude,

01:08:15.720 that kid was my bully in elementary school.

01:08:18.020 And she goes,

01:08:19.280 he says that you were his bully and that you really picked on him when you were a kid.

01:08:24.280 But this was the kid that he like failed a grade in like fourth grade or whatever.

01:08:29.240 And he was held back.

01:08:30.120 So he's like way bigger than me.

01:08:31.560 He had like facial hair in the fourth grade.

01:08:33.920 He was like,

01:08:34.780 and he was drawn it on,

01:08:36.200 but he had it.

01:08:36.720 Yeah.

01:08:36.860 He had it.

01:08:37.520 And he kept picking on me.

01:08:39.120 And I remember like,

01:08:40.120 my dad was like,

01:08:41.100 is he bigger than you?

01:08:41.860 I'm like,

01:08:42.140 yeah.

01:08:42.360 And he goes,

01:08:42.880 well,

01:08:43.000 then violence is your only key.

01:08:45.240 And I'm like,

01:08:45.960 what?

01:08:46.580 And he's like,

01:08:47.160 you have to strike first and strike often.

01:08:49.680 And I'm like,

01:08:50.160 this is some bad advice.

01:08:51.960 This is a foot fist.

01:08:53.280 Totally.

01:08:54.000 So like,

01:08:54.440 I just,

01:08:54.840 I like punch this kid in the face.

01:08:56.420 Like he said some shit.

01:08:57.820 I just like fucking whacked him and then would run away.

01:09:01.020 We like to where he could never strike back.

01:09:02.920 I kicked him down a staircase once.

01:09:04.620 Like,

01:09:05.080 so I was like a violent little kid.

01:09:06.580 And in hindsight,

01:09:07.160 I was this kid's bully.

01:09:09.180 But from my point of view,

01:09:11.120 he bullied me.

01:09:12.220 And then my dad just gave me the go ahead to be a violent little fuck.

01:09:16.480 And so I'm sorry,

01:09:18.260 Brian.

01:09:18.860 I didn't know,

01:09:20.020 dude.

01:09:20.240 I thought you were my bully and I was trying to stand up for myself.

01:09:23.600 Yeah.

01:09:24.020 We didn't know,

01:09:24.640 Brian.

01:09:25.940 Bullies are regular people.

01:09:29.220 I love that song,

01:09:30.220 dude.

01:09:31.240 God,

01:09:31.640 sometimes I see the bullies.

01:09:36.240 Yeah.

01:09:37.040 And I pray for them.

01:09:41.040 Damn.

01:09:43.700 Ugh.

01:09:44.180 We got to get you in a Pitch Perfect movie.

01:09:46.680 They don't make good music anymore,

01:09:48.120 huh?

01:09:48.500 How many,

01:09:49.000 how,

01:09:49.260 how perfect are you guys going to make the pitch?

01:09:50.960 That's what a lot of people are wondering.

01:09:52.500 Is it,

01:09:53.080 isn't it perfect enough?

01:09:54.260 I don't know.

01:09:54.520 God damn.

01:09:54.940 That's what people are saying.

01:09:55.700 It's like when Step It Up keeps coming up.

01:09:57.700 People are like,

01:09:58.540 how?

01:09:59.000 Yeah.

01:09:59.300 They're second up to the streets.

01:10:00.900 Like we get it.

01:10:01.500 How many places do you have to step up?

01:10:01.900 Amy Schumer always used to say that.

01:10:03.280 How much do we,

01:10:03.880 how much do we have to step it up?

01:10:05.340 Yeah.

01:10:06.340 Yeah.

01:10:06.520 Yeah.

01:10:06.720 How perfect is the pitch going to get?

01:10:07.960 Will it,

01:10:09.140 it's still getting,

01:10:10.020 dude,

01:10:10.220 I'm doing a spinoff show.

01:10:11.560 I did a,

01:10:12.740 it's called Bumper in Berlin.

01:10:14.340 Season one is already airing on Peacock.

01:10:16.500 It was a fucking hit for them.

01:10:18.600 And then,

01:10:19.460 yeah,

01:10:20.460 so I lived in Germany all last,

01:10:22.280 or for like four months last year.

01:10:23.940 And like just being a song and dance man in Germany,

01:10:26.440 dude.

01:10:27.160 There,

01:10:27.360 yeah,

01:10:27.540 there's,

01:10:27.840 there's,

01:10:28.160 there's me.

01:10:29.940 That girl has horns on her head.

01:10:31.700 Yeah.

01:10:31.960 It's a,

01:10:32.180 it's a wild show.

01:10:35.060 It's interesting.

01:10:36.360 Is Riff Raff in it?

01:10:38.160 No,

01:10:38.640 dude.

01:10:39.680 That sucks.

01:10:40.560 You're right.

01:10:41.040 I should put Riff in it.

01:10:43.120 Uh,

01:10:44.700 yeah.

01:10:45.000 So yeah,

01:10:45.660 the pitch,

01:10:46.280 the pitch is still staying perfect.

01:10:47.740 I'm,

01:10:48.080 I'm riding that one all the way home.

01:10:50.740 Wow.

01:10:51.220 That's cool.

01:10:52.100 Yeah.

01:10:52.440 What an interesting time.

01:10:53.480 I mean,

01:10:53.620 this felt like an interesting life,

01:10:54.940 man.

01:10:55.160 Cause to go stay in Germany for four months is pretty,

01:10:58.420 but do you have to work every single day or do you actually have some free time?

01:11:01.520 Yeah.

01:11:01.920 I worked a lot on that one because I was the lead of it and it's like a song and dance show.

01:11:06.560 So like I'm singing and dancing.

01:11:08.960 Every goddamn episode.

01:11:10.600 So like I have thought on the weekends,

01:11:12.140 it's like,

01:11:12.520 I have to go record songs and I have to like learn choreography and shit.

01:11:16.240 And then,

01:11:17.000 uh,

01:11:17.500 but it was a wild,

01:11:18.800 that's,

01:11:19.240 have you ever been to Germany?

01:11:20.600 Hmm.

01:11:23.640 Yes.

01:11:24.320 Okay.

01:11:25.760 Uh,

01:11:26.120 I have my girlfriend.

01:11:27.480 Somebody almost ran over my girlfriend with a bike over there.

01:11:30.060 Oh,

01:11:30.380 dang.

01:11:30.800 We're at,

01:11:31.240 I don't know.

01:11:32.560 It was about like this little,

01:11:33.480 uh,

01:11:35.360 it was kind of like by a,

01:11:37.540 uh,

01:11:38.500 I don't know what it was.

01:11:39.700 I don't remember.

01:11:40.460 I mean,

01:11:40.640 I remember,

01:11:41.080 but I don't remember enough to say anything else.

01:11:43.120 Yeah.

01:11:43.240 I've been there.

01:11:44.680 That is a dangerous intersection.

01:11:46.280 Yes.

01:11:46.700 Yeah.

01:11:47.100 Dangerous intersection.

01:11:47.880 Uh,

01:11:48.500 yeah.

01:11:48.740 So we were in Berlin and awesome city,

01:11:51.880 super fun,

01:11:52.640 but like also like kind of cool in a weird way.

01:11:56.300 We're like,

01:11:57.060 uh,

01:11:57.660 they have this club Bergheim,

01:11:59.020 which is like the cool club where like everyone wears like leather.

01:12:03.900 Dick pouches and shit.

01:12:05.260 And they have this guy that they call him the,

01:12:07.540 um,

01:12:07.980 piss goblin.

01:12:08.820 And he's like a 65 year old man who's just like,

01:12:10.980 and like,

01:12:12.160 you're supposed to just piss on him when you see him.

01:12:13.820 Oh,

01:12:14.020 wow.

01:12:14.300 Yeah.

01:12:14.700 And he's in a chair.

01:12:15.700 Is he sitting down?

01:12:16.360 No,

01:12:16.540 he'll just like,

01:12:17.200 well,

01:12:17.480 I,

01:12:17.840 I didn't go to this club.

01:12:18.820 But I've been told all about him.

01:12:19.880 And then he'll just like go around the club.

01:12:22.100 And,

01:12:22.520 uh,

01:12:22.840 yeah,

01:12:23.020 that's it right there.

01:12:23.840 The big square building.

01:12:25.780 Yeah.

01:12:26.160 And,

01:12:26.680 uh,

01:12:27.100 and then it's just a warehouse inside.

01:12:29.200 And,

01:12:29.520 uh,

01:12:31.000 yeah,

01:12:31.220 it's scary.

01:12:31.800 It's like industrial,

01:12:32.800 um,

01:12:33.840 type music.

01:12:34.540 And then,

01:12:35.140 and then the,

01:12:35.760 the piss goblin will like lay in the,

01:12:38.080 the,

01:12:38.500 the trough,

01:12:39.300 you know how they have troughs at,

01:12:40.900 uh,

01:12:41.140 in men's shitty men's bathrooms.

01:12:42.500 Yeah.

01:12:42.980 And,

01:12:43.400 uh,

01:12:43.600 he'll just lay in there and be like,

01:12:45.340 splash him up.

01:12:47.720 You can just splash him up.

01:12:48.580 So apparently,

01:12:49.220 yeah.

01:12:49.620 Frickin put a batch on that dude.

01:12:51.120 So it was like COVID was just starting to like wind down,

01:12:54.700 uh,

01:12:55.340 at that point.

01:12:56.060 And so all the clubs were closed.

01:12:58.020 And then while I was there,

01:12:59.000 they all opened and we were getting sat at this nice restaurant,

01:13:02.260 my wife,

01:13:02.860 Chloe and I,

01:13:03.760 and,

01:13:04.160 um,

01:13:04.880 the guy recognized me.

01:13:05.940 He's talking to me and he's like,

01:13:07.280 how are you enjoying Germany?

01:13:08.420 And I'm like,

01:13:08.940 how,

01:13:09.280 you know,

01:13:09.500 we really like it.

01:13:10.160 And he's like,

01:13:10.460 have you been to some of the clubs?

01:13:12.140 They're so fun and crazy.

01:13:13.320 And we're like,

01:13:14.120 oh,

01:13:14.340 we haven't yet.

01:13:15.020 You know,

01:13:15.240 I'm working a lot.

01:13:16.020 So I don't have time to go to the clubs.

01:13:18.380 And he goes,

01:13:19.060 oh,

01:13:19.280 it's so fun.

01:13:19.960 You have to make the time.

01:13:21.500 Um,

01:13:22.360 there's awesome parties,

01:13:23.800 the piss parties.

01:13:25.700 And then he goes,

01:13:26.220 okay,

01:13:26.560 your table's ready.

01:13:28.220 Just so quickly.

01:13:29.420 The piss parties.

01:13:30.560 Okay,

01:13:30.940 table's ready.

01:13:31.660 Sit down.

01:13:32.940 Here's some charcuterie.

01:13:34.300 Yeah,

01:13:34.720 dude,

01:13:35.280 here's some ginger soup.

01:13:36.700 Yeah,

01:13:36.960 here's some ginger soup.

01:13:37.800 Enjoy the piss party.

01:13:39.780 Well,

01:13:40.000 dude,

01:13:40.380 piss pigging is a big thing.

01:13:41.980 I think now it used to,

01:13:43.960 um,

01:13:45.280 and even vegans are doing it.

01:13:46.660 I think it's like piss pigging is,

01:13:48.820 I guess,

01:13:49.240 when there's like a fella at like a,

01:13:50.860 what's pigging?

01:13:51.560 What's piss pigging?

01:13:52.400 Can you bring something up,

01:13:53.400 Zach?

01:13:53.640 You're leaving me on a branch here,

01:13:54.760 bro.

01:13:54.860 It's when people are drinking urine,

01:13:58.760 I think,

01:13:59.220 somewhere.

01:13:59.880 And like,

01:14:00.340 it's like rich,

01:14:00.920 I think,

01:14:01.200 I don't know if it's rich people do it,

01:14:02.240 but it was like,

01:14:03.460 uh,

01:14:04.180 piss pig.

01:14:05.200 Yeah,

01:14:05.480 piss pig.

01:14:05.920 Well,

01:14:06.040 let's only look at porn.

01:14:06.700 Don't look at porn,

01:14:07.260 please.

01:14:08.340 But,

01:14:08.680 I mean,

01:14:09.120 it's hard,

01:14:09.700 it's hard not to look at porn with the piss pigging,

01:14:12.240 because it's probably pretty synonymous with,

01:14:15.120 it's like you look up butt fucking.

01:14:17.260 You're going to see some butt fucking then,

01:14:18.900 you know?

01:14:19.560 Yeah,

01:14:20.020 you know,

01:14:20.440 it's like you look up piss pigging,

01:14:21.700 you're going to see some piss pigs.

01:14:23.320 All right,

01:14:23.860 whatever,

01:14:24.400 man.

01:14:24.520 That's how you guys are going to be about it.

01:14:27.260 I'm just looking for more of a technical site.

01:14:29.840 Okay.

01:14:31.280 Like,

01:14:31.740 I don't want to see that.

01:14:32.520 I don't want to hear the symphony.

01:14:33.380 I just want to read the sheet music.

01:14:34.720 Yeah,

01:14:35.100 I get it.

01:14:35.880 But I think it's people that will drink urine.

01:14:38.620 So it's like at these high-end parties,

01:14:40.440 I'm hearing you can go around and you pay somebody and then you just urinate into them.

01:14:45.680 And it's like,

01:14:46.480 and people enjoy it,

01:14:48.060 I guess.

01:14:48.780 But that's something that's going on.

01:14:50.460 But I think in Germany,

01:14:51.680 they're very,

01:14:52.780 they don't,

01:14:54.000 things aren't as taboo to them.

01:14:55.780 Is that what it felt like or it's more taboo?

01:14:57.420 Well,

01:14:57.660 I feel like in Berlin,

01:14:59.900 especially,

01:15:00.740 it's like,

01:15:01.920 the freak you are,

01:15:04.360 the cooler it is.

01:15:05.860 And everyone's just very open-minded.

01:15:07.620 Yeah.

01:15:08.020 And so like,

01:15:08.680 I was staying at the Soho house,

01:15:10.420 right?

01:15:10.780 In like,

01:15:11.960 in East Berlin,

01:15:13.520 very nice hotel.

01:15:15.200 They have this awesome rooftop bar that we would eat dinner up there a lot of times.

01:15:21.780 And we were having drinks late one night and it was like,

01:15:26.380 it wasn't even that late.

01:15:27.060 It was like 11 o'clock.

01:15:28.600 And,

01:15:28.740 but people go,

01:15:29.700 they have dinner at like 11 and then they go to the clubs at like midnight one and then they stay there all night long.

01:15:35.180 And there's full on dudes in like leather straps with like their nipples like pierced and then a chain connecting,

01:15:43.240 then a chain going down to the you know where.

01:15:45.580 I've seen that stuff.

01:15:46.160 Uh-huh.

01:15:46.560 And he's just full on sitting there eating a full rotisserie chicken.

01:15:50.360 Oh yeah.

01:15:50.740 Just in that get up.

01:15:51.920 I'm like,

01:15:52.280 that is,

01:15:53.020 you don't see that in LA,

01:15:54.300 you know?

01:15:55.060 No,

01:15:55.520 you don't see that.

01:15:56.500 Oh.

01:15:57.320 Yeah,

01:15:57.580 you don't.

01:15:57.900 Oh,

01:15:58.140 here we go.

01:15:59.560 There's a social media community of people drinking,

01:16:02.500 bathing in their urine for the sake of health.

01:16:05.760 Uh,

01:16:06.560 so you bathe in your own urine.

01:16:08.880 I feel like.

01:16:10.900 I'm going to say no to that.

01:16:12.020 Yeah,

01:16:12.160 I'm going to give that a no to highlights from the urine therapy.

01:16:16.240 Whoa,

01:16:16.640 whoa,

01:16:16.940 whoa.

01:16:17.320 Okay.

01:16:17.480 So this lady and this lady,

01:16:19.360 or also this could be that guy,

01:16:21.020 Bill,

01:16:21.340 what's his name that you display for the Lakers?

01:16:24.200 Lambeer,

01:16:25.020 the Walton,

01:16:25.700 Bill Walton.

01:16:26.400 Does he,

01:16:27.020 she looks like him alone.

01:16:28.380 Yeah,

01:16:28.800 that's Bill Walton now.

01:16:30.120 I was saying,

01:16:31.060 I don't know.

01:16:31.760 I thought who knows.

01:16:32.960 Yeah,

01:16:33.280 who knows?

01:16:33.640 Yeah.

01:16:34.000 And no shade to Bill or Luke.

01:16:35.580 I don't know.

01:16:36.400 There's just,

01:16:36.900 this could be AI.

01:16:38.240 Yeah,

01:16:38.520 that's true.

01:16:39.580 You can't trust anything anymore.

01:16:41.180 But dude,

01:16:41.480 if somebody rolled up on you with,

01:16:43.560 first of all,

01:16:44.220 also imagine,

01:16:45.400 because that woman,

01:16:46.340 she said 59 years old,

01:16:47.840 said she was,

01:16:48.980 uh,

01:16:49.300 imagine being,

01:16:50.920 yeah,

01:16:52.540 59 this month,

01:16:53.940 uh,

01:16:55.680 imagine,

01:16:56.300 because that could be your mom,

01:16:57.720 you know?

01:16:58.280 Yeah.

01:16:58.640 Imagine your mom has like a little health kick,

01:17:02.840 like moms sometimes do.

01:17:04.720 My mom has them all,

01:17:05.600 yeah.

01:17:05.800 Yeah,

01:17:06.060 where you're like,

01:17:06.680 yeah,

01:17:06.920 I got really into salads or whatever.

01:17:09.100 And you're like,

01:17:09.660 good for you.

01:17:10.220 I like that for you.

01:17:11.120 You know,

01:17:11.420 try to live as long as you can.

01:17:12.760 But then she,

01:17:13.420 your mom like goes full on,

01:17:14.780 like I,

01:17:15.120 I guzzle my own piss.

01:17:17.020 That'd be a bummer.

01:17:18.300 She's like trying to give you hugs and,

01:17:19.960 and like little cheek smooches,

01:17:21.680 you know,

01:17:21.980 as moms do.

01:17:22.960 Yeah.

01:17:23.380 But she has like a breath of her own piss.

01:17:25.040 That would suck.

01:17:26.380 That'd be like,

01:17:27.040 oh,

01:17:27.140 that'd be a real bummer.

01:17:28.260 That's that movie.

01:17:28.900 Yeah.

01:17:29.040 It's like the sequel to that movie,

01:17:30.180 Backdraft kind of.

01:17:31.660 But what about this brother right there?

01:17:33.540 Soaking his,

01:17:34.220 uh,

01:17:34.500 feet in some urine and letting the dog lick him?

01:17:37.680 Oh yeah.

01:17:38.720 Well,

01:17:38.900 this man should be arrested.

01:17:40.620 Yeah.

01:17:41.420 This guy has to go,

01:17:42.500 right to prison.

01:17:43.700 Uh,

01:17:44.160 and that,

01:17:44.620 that woman too.

01:17:46.340 Mom,

01:17:46.780 you gotta go to,

01:17:47.320 you gotta go to jail.

01:17:48.160 This is a bad idea.

01:17:49.480 Yeah.

01:17:49.900 Wow.

01:17:50.040 I feel anyone else's month old urine tastes exactly like beer.

01:17:55.240 Nah,

01:17:55.780 dude.

01:17:56.140 Well,

01:17:56.300 you're drinking for sure.

01:17:58.080 Bad beer.

01:17:58.940 Yeah.

01:17:59.220 That's bad.

01:17:59.760 Yeah.

01:17:59.960 That's bad.

01:18:00.560 Really bad beer.

01:18:02.520 Like you could just spend like $1 more and get beer that doesn't taste like month old

01:18:07.940 urine.

01:18:08.440 Yeah.

01:18:08.860 Non pit,

01:18:09.700 no piss in here.

01:18:10.820 But what if,

01:18:11.340 what if,

01:18:11.740 yeah,

01:18:11.840 what if that's like Bud Light's new slogan?

01:18:14.360 They're trying to gain some,

01:18:15.820 some drinkers back.

01:18:17.920 No piss in here,

01:18:18.800 buddy.

01:18:19.700 Um,

01:18:20.560 is your wife an actress too?

01:18:22.400 She is.

01:18:22.920 Yeah.

01:18:23.240 She is.

01:18:23.720 Yeah.

01:18:23.920 She's a very beautiful lady.

01:18:24.820 You guys post a lot of pictures and do a lot of fun stuff together.

01:18:27.500 It looks like we do.

01:18:28.480 We tried to do a bunch of fun stuff.

01:18:30.220 Did you guys kind of fall in love?

01:18:31.820 What was that like for you?

01:18:32.540 Cause you seem like you're in love kind of,

01:18:34.720 that's the vibe that I get from you.

01:18:36.580 Yeah.

01:18:36.800 I hope when you marry someone you're in,

01:18:38.620 you're in love.

01:18:39.320 That's the,

01:18:39.760 that's the key to the,

01:18:41.640 to the whole thing.

01:18:42.380 I think.

01:18:42.820 But some people don't put their,

01:18:44.780 they,

01:18:44.980 you know,

01:18:45.200 they don't.

01:18:46.140 Yeah.

01:18:46.260 Cause they don't want to.

01:18:47.320 Yeah.

01:18:47.440 I'm like a very,

01:18:48.280 I feel,

01:18:49.400 you know,

01:18:49.700 cause we want to have kids and stuff.

01:18:51.460 And some people I have friends that they like,

01:18:53.700 don't put their kids on their social media.

01:18:55.300 I think I'm just going to put my kids all over.

01:18:57.260 I don't give a shit.

01:18:58.180 I just like my life.

01:18:59.680 Like I'm a pretty open book.

01:19:01.080 I'm like,

01:19:01.540 yeah,

01:19:01.700 this is my wife.

01:19:02.520 These are my friends.

01:19:03.700 This is my kid.

01:19:05.480 I don't kidnap the kid.

01:19:07.220 Obviously that's a prerequisite.

01:19:08.980 Ooh.

01:19:09.240 Yeah.

01:19:09.580 Yeah.

01:19:09.760 That's a definitely no,

01:19:11.120 no,

01:19:11.380 but it's like,

01:19:12.100 but even stalkers aren't that back in the day.

01:19:14.420 I think a stalker would come to kids like stalkers.

01:19:16.400 Even nowadays are kind of,

01:19:17.320 don't give a shit about me.

01:19:18.760 You know,

01:19:19.020 that's what's cool about comedians.

01:19:21.120 It's like,

01:19:22.340 there's no real,

01:19:24.040 no one really cares.

01:19:25.240 It's a good point.

01:19:25.840 You know,

01:19:26.480 like it's like when they,

01:19:27.740 people see you at the Starbucks or,

01:19:30.660 or see me,

01:19:31.400 they're,

01:19:31.620 they're just like,

01:19:32.420 Oh shit.

01:19:33.140 What's up,

01:19:33.560 man.

01:19:34.240 Yeah.

01:19:35.520 You,

01:19:35.980 you want some extra pumps of sugar-free vanilla.

01:19:38.500 Yeah.

01:19:38.780 Like that's what I get,

01:19:40.020 you know,

01:19:40.820 or like,

01:19:41.440 yo,

01:19:42.220 this one's on the house.

01:19:43.380 I'm like,

01:19:43.860 no dude,

01:19:44.400 I can pay for the coffee.

01:19:45.320 And they're like,

01:19:45.560 I got you.

01:19:46.700 Yeah.

01:19:46.840 That's the level of stalker that I have.

01:19:48.520 Just like a cool guy.

01:19:49.620 Who's a barista.

01:19:50.500 But then when that dude shows up later in your living room and he's like,

01:19:54.500 yeah,

01:19:54.780 this one's on the house.

01:19:55.720 Yes.

01:19:56.040 You owe me for that cold brew.

01:19:58.580 Bro,

01:19:58.880 that would almost be a crazy movie of like a unique stalker that like just shows.

01:20:02.980 Like he just wants to brew me espressos.

01:20:05.340 Yeah.

01:20:05.920 Yeah.

01:20:06.240 He gives you one free thing and you don't even want it.

01:20:08.740 And then he holds that against you forever.

01:20:11.020 Uh-huh.

01:20:11.320 That's like a,

01:20:11.720 that sounds like a Black Mirror episode.

01:20:13.120 Yeah.

01:20:13.560 Where he just,

01:20:14.880 you're like,

01:20:15.200 I didn't even want the egg white and ham sandwich that you,

01:20:19.240 that you made me get.

01:20:21.880 It's like,

01:20:22.400 I actually had breakfast,

01:20:23.620 homie.

01:20:23.820 I didn't even want this,

01:20:25.000 but,

01:20:25.280 but all right.

01:20:27.600 I had a woman hit me after a show once,

01:20:30.180 uh,

01:20:30.540 stopped me after a show one time and asked her if I was leaving subliminal messages and

01:20:33.980 podcasts to her.

01:20:35.200 And that was kind of crazy.

01:20:36.700 And she was extremely serious.

01:20:38.760 Hmm.

01:20:39.320 She was extremely serious.

01:20:40.820 That's scary.

01:20:41.600 It was way scary.

01:20:42.660 But you were,

01:20:43.520 right?

01:20:45.420 After that.

01:20:46.560 I,

01:20:46.800 what I said was,

01:20:47.720 I haven't been,

01:20:48.560 but I will.

01:20:49.140 But you're going to start.

01:20:50.100 Yes.

01:20:51.080 Three M&M's.

01:20:52.560 Three M&M's.

01:20:55.040 Whatever that means to her.

01:20:56.980 Uh,

01:20:58.100 um.

01:20:58.820 Yeah.

01:20:59.000 I had one time,

01:21:00.200 and this was really early on.

01:21:01.760 Nothing this weird has happened since,

01:21:03.720 but this girl brought me a bunch of cupcakes to a show.

01:21:07.080 And this was like right when Workaholics was taking off.

01:21:09.800 And I'm like,

01:21:11.740 this is the best.

01:21:12.360 I get baked goods now.

01:21:13.520 I'm at baked good level.

01:21:15.060 And so I like take,

01:21:16.440 I was living with Blake at a time.

01:21:17.920 We had just rented this like cool house in the Hollywood Hills.

01:21:20.320 And I come back and I'm like,

01:21:22.680 yo dude,

01:21:23.000 I got these cupcakes.

01:21:24.260 Like I'm at baked goods level.

01:21:26.440 And I like bit into a cupcake.

01:21:28.340 It was the first cupcake I bit into chunk of her hair,

01:21:31.440 dude.

01:21:31.760 Uh,

01:21:31.880 uh,

01:21:32.540 mm-hmm.

01:21:33.320 Like a full on tendril.

01:21:36.720 Like,

01:21:37.360 like a lock,

01:21:38.000 like a lock.

01:21:38.900 Like she cut off a little chunk.

01:21:40.760 Baked it into a cupcake.

01:21:42.560 It's so.

01:21:43.980 How fucking weird is that,

01:21:45.120 dude?

01:21:45.700 I mean,

01:21:46.220 I.

01:21:47.120 What is,

01:21:47.600 what is she getting out of that?

01:21:49.240 And then now I'm like,

01:21:50.300 well now I can't,

01:21:50.920 that sucks.

01:21:51.600 Cause I want to be able to eat baked goods from fans.

01:21:55.900 I want to be able to accept.

01:21:58.440 That's Polish romance.

01:21:59.540 I think the delicious,

01:22:01.320 you know,

01:22:01.920 treats that are given to me,

01:22:03.420 but,

01:22:03.740 but now you can't,

01:22:04.760 you,

01:22:04.960 you never know.

01:22:05.820 God,

01:22:06.300 that's wild.

01:22:06.940 That's somebody's hair in there.

01:22:08.380 Yeah.

01:22:09.040 I guess,

01:22:09.560 I guess it was like,

01:22:10.300 I'd rather have hair than just like,

01:22:13.960 they just,

01:22:14.760 a ton of fentanyl or some shit.

01:22:16.760 Oh yeah.

01:22:17.560 You know?

01:22:18.160 Yeah.

01:22:18.540 Like that's for sure better,

01:22:20.100 but,

01:22:20.400 but still.

01:22:21.080 They had our Taco Bell in our town was famous.

01:22:23.840 Somebody had been doing like duty in the meat or whatever,

01:22:26.380 whenever it first opened up.

01:22:28.080 And I know this,

01:22:29.000 people say this is an old wives tale,

01:22:30.420 dude,

01:22:30.640 but this is a true story.

01:22:32.420 Okay.

01:22:33.140 And they had,

01:22:34.380 and I know people say this happened in our town,

01:22:36.060 whatever.

01:22:36.320 They shut our Taco Bell down for two months,

01:22:39.600 bro.

01:22:39.940 And people were losing their fucking minds.

01:22:42.300 People were getting divorces outside of it.

01:22:44.400 People were throwing bricks through the window.

01:22:47.800 People were writing.

01:22:48.540 So,

01:22:48.840 so people were,

01:22:50.440 cause the,

01:22:50.940 I think the old wives tale was like,

01:22:52.980 they used like dog meat or something.

01:22:56.580 And you're like,

01:22:57.460 what?

01:22:58.320 No,

01:22:59.480 but I love a cheesy gordita crunch.

01:23:01.440 How could they do this?

01:23:03.080 Um,

01:23:04.200 but then that's,

01:23:04.940 that wasn't like a real thing.

01:23:05.960 So people were literally like a guy who was working there.

01:23:08.640 They busted a guy doing duty in the meat.

01:23:10.080 And you can look it up too,

01:23:10.940 I think,

01:23:11.280 buddy,

01:23:11.700 but this was,

01:23:13.140 um,

01:23:13.760 yeah,

01:23:14.240 they,

01:23:14.660 oh yeah.

01:23:15.240 In my town,

01:23:15.740 I don't think anybody's going to frown at half a pound of,

01:23:17.500 of raw Bichon or something.

01:23:19.980 You know what I'm saying?

01:23:20.360 But I think somebody goes and fecy up a meat,

01:23:23.640 you know,

01:23:23.920 somebody goes and fecy up,

01:23:25.860 uh,

01:23:26.100 uh,

01:23:27.120 one of those,

01:23:27.800 you know,

01:23:28.220 um,

01:23:29.380 what are they?

01:23:30.060 Crunchwrap Supremes or whatever.

01:23:31.900 Yeah.

01:23:32.780 But that's where that really happened in our town,

01:23:34.680 you know,

01:23:35.020 and it's unfortunate that that kind of stuff happened,

01:23:37.160 but it sucks.

01:23:37.980 Can you find it?

01:23:38.640 It may be on a Reddit.

01:23:39.740 I think I found the article.

01:23:40.820 It's just loading.

01:23:41.540 I feel,

01:23:42.080 uh,

01:23:42.340 1997.

01:23:42.880 It's an old article,

01:23:45.160 bro.

01:23:45.320 Good year.

01:23:46.060 Can't believe it happened.

01:23:47.120 Dude,

01:23:47.340 I remember one night I got out of my buddy's piss van with the sunglasses.

01:23:50.500 I was so high.

01:23:51.380 They woke me up cause we stopped at Taco Bell and I got out and I went to live with this

01:23:56.800 other family in high school and I get out and they were there and I was like,

01:24:00.260 you ever be so high and you see some people that you're like,

01:24:02.880 I'm not supposed to see these people when I'm high.

01:24:05.780 Oh dude.

01:24:06.440 Yeah,

01:24:06.660 absolutely.

01:24:07.480 It's the worst.

01:24:08.520 That's the worst.

01:24:09.760 Uh,

01:24:11.120 yeah,

01:24:11.320 that's the worst.

01:24:12.300 God,

01:24:12.740 it was the worst,

01:24:13.660 man.

01:24:14.100 Dude,

01:24:14.300 the worst is up.

01:24:15.520 I like said,

01:24:16.140 what?

01:24:16.440 Like it's some insane vocal level.

01:24:18.900 And they're like,

01:24:20.000 Hey,

01:24:21.180 Theo,

01:24:21.980 good to see you.

01:24:23.280 It's lasagna tonight.

01:24:26.560 Oh,

01:24:27.440 good.

01:24:27.840 Love lasagna.

01:24:28.960 Yeah.

01:24:29.120 My agents called me the other week.

01:24:31.460 They called me like at eight o'clock at night.

01:24:33.160 Ooh.

01:24:33.740 That's alarming.

01:24:34.440 I like smoked weed.

01:24:35.900 And then they called right then.

01:24:37.720 And then it's like the whole team.

01:24:39.660 And I like just change agencies.

01:24:42.300 And they're like,

01:24:43.620 they're just wanting to talk to me about stuff and like career stuff,

01:24:47.500 man.

01:24:48.600 I did.

01:24:48.960 I just talked for like 12 minutes straight.

01:24:51.280 Didn't let them get a word in.

01:24:53.220 It's just me like sane words.

01:24:55.160 Yeah.

01:24:55.560 That I don't know even the meaning of.

01:24:58.760 I'm just saying shit,

01:25:00.300 dude.

01:25:00.760 Afterwards.

01:25:01.340 I was,

01:25:01.660 I like call my manager.

01:25:02.520 I'm like,

01:25:02.760 was I just saying a bunch of words?

01:25:04.340 He's like,

01:25:04.620 yeah,

01:25:04.800 dude,

01:25:04.940 you weren't making it.

01:25:05.800 So I'm like,

01:25:06.360 fuck.

01:25:08.540 Don't call,

01:25:09.180 don't call me.

01:25:10.760 Don't call me at eight.

01:25:12.220 Like that's a,

01:25:12.780 that's an afternoon.

01:25:14.360 It's outside of sober hours for sure.

01:25:17.260 I might,

01:25:17.900 I might have just smoked a joint in which case I'm going to,

01:25:21.680 I'm going to be spinning my wheels in the mud.

01:25:23.660 Yeah.

01:25:24.060 In the,

01:25:24.500 in the vocabulary mud.

01:25:26.940 Oh yeah.

01:25:27.480 I think especially if agents,

01:25:29.020 they deserve to hear something from you every now and then.

01:25:31.200 Even if you call them like,

01:25:32.200 Hey,

01:25:32.380 listen to me,

01:25:33.000 read a little bit of this stuff that I wrote and you just read like the

01:25:35.820 first chapter of like,

01:25:37.360 uh,

01:25:38.760 um,

01:25:39.320 Scarlet letter to them.

01:25:40.820 Yeah.

01:25:41.600 They would love that.

01:25:43.200 They would love you using their time like that.

01:25:46.300 Yeah.

01:25:46.420 They'll stay on the phone.

01:25:47.540 If you're doing well enough.

01:25:49.380 Yeah.

01:25:49.560 They'll stay on the fucking phone.

01:25:51.060 They will.

01:25:51.380 Yeah.

01:25:51.640 They'll stay on there and be like,

01:25:52.700 wow,

01:25:53.020 that's interesting.

01:25:54.580 Uh,

01:25:55.220 wow.

01:25:56.080 Good stuff.

01:25:56.640 And this is because,

01:25:58.720 uh,

01:25:59.200 are you going to,

01:26:00.880 are you going to write a book?

01:26:01.760 I know a lot of comics are writing books.

01:26:03.740 Yeah.

01:26:04.100 I thought about it.

01:26:04.680 I've written a bunch over the years.

01:26:05.940 I've written a lot.

01:26:06.920 I mean,

01:26:07.440 I've probably written half of a book for sure.

01:26:10.660 I think sometimes I'd read your book.

01:26:13.360 I bet you,

01:26:14.140 you know,

01:26:14.400 you got so many tales from,

01:26:16.020 thanks man,

01:26:16.480 from your,

01:26:16.980 uh,

01:26:17.220 youth.

01:26:17.740 We grew up in a unique area,

01:26:19.140 man.

01:26:19.400 Ian Somerhalder was from our town.

01:26:20.820 You ever met him?

01:26:21.980 Oh,

01:26:22.280 show me him.

01:26:23.100 His name is so familiar.

01:26:25.420 God,

01:26:25.780 he was handsome brother.

01:26:27.060 Really?

01:26:27.500 Nobody'd ever seen it.

01:26:28.740 Oh yeah.

01:26:29.300 Oh yeah.

01:26:30.020 No,

01:26:30.260 I know this guy.

01:26:30.880 This guy,

01:26:31.340 uh,

01:26:31.560 was in the vampire diaries with,

01:26:33.500 uh,

01:26:34.080 with my girl,

01:26:34.620 Nina Dobrev.

01:26:35.460 I mean,

01:26:36.080 if you're able to be,

01:26:37.500 I mean,

01:26:39.360 he's almost,

01:26:39.880 he's could be man or woman.

01:26:41.560 Yeah.

01:26:42.240 Like,

01:26:42.600 you know,

01:26:42.760 when you're so hot.

01:26:44.060 Yeah.

01:26:44.560 You could be either like,

01:26:46.140 that's when you are the peak level,

01:26:47.540 like Brad Pitt put long hair,

01:26:51.220 give him tits.

01:26:51.800 That's a,

01:26:53.200 that's a beautiful woman.

01:26:54.420 He's at least an eight as a woman.

01:26:56.240 This guy though,

01:26:57.120 has that he,

01:26:58.000 him and yeah,

01:26:58.760 you might be right.

01:26:59.460 This is,

01:26:59.960 yeah,

01:27:00.080 he's got more,

01:27:00.920 uh,

01:27:01.340 maybe not.

01:27:01.920 I don't know.

01:27:02.180 I guess it depends on what kind of woman you're into.

01:27:04.660 That's a sexy lady.

01:27:06.220 Yeah.

01:27:06.600 But I mean,

01:27:07.000 he was like,

01:27:07.840 they had the most hand,

01:27:08.800 he was like the most,

01:27:09.600 the most handsome.

01:27:10.440 So he,

01:27:11.260 is he like a right around your age?

01:27:13.540 So you like knew this guy?

01:27:14.940 He was maybe a little bit older than me,

01:27:16.880 but we heard about him.

01:27:17.880 Yeah.

01:27:18.080 He's,

01:27:18.420 he was so hot.

01:27:19.280 He went to another school and you're like,

01:27:21.240 word is that there's just like a hot boy.

01:27:23.800 And no,

01:27:24.120 he came,

01:27:24.780 but here's what he would do though.

01:27:25.860 This is the biggest flex ever.

01:27:27.420 He would come to school the first day of school and then go back to like being like a model or superhero.

01:27:34.080 So he would just come the first day.

01:27:35.900 So all the chicks could see him like,

01:27:38.320 there he is.

01:27:38.920 There he is.

01:27:39.540 And meanwhile,

01:27:40.160 us regular dudes,

01:27:41.120 we got on everything we could.

01:27:43.060 Yeah.

01:27:43.320 We put cologne in a couple of choice spots.

01:27:46.320 You're just reeking of cool water cologne.

01:27:48.480 Oh,

01:27:48.900 we'd fucking done it.

01:27:49.980 Oh,

01:27:50.240 we used an annual mouthwash.

01:27:52.160 We'd done it all.

01:27:53.000 We were ready.

01:27:53.740 You got your,

01:27:54.500 what were the like cool jeans?

01:27:55.820 Like Jabot?

01:27:56.460 Probably some Jabot's maybe or,

01:27:58.720 um,

01:28:00.160 duck head,

01:28:00.940 maybe something like,

01:28:02.060 you know,

01:28:02.740 you'd had something fucking decent.

01:28:04.860 Our shit was American Eagle dungarees.

01:28:07.580 Ooh.

01:28:08.500 Where it had like a little thing to like put your hammer.

01:28:11.560 Oh yeah.

01:28:13.740 Like,

01:28:14.360 like you always just had a hammer ready to go.

01:28:16.980 Yeah.

01:28:17.600 Never used it.

01:28:18.500 Never needed a hammer.

01:28:19.460 But then you bring a hammer and hit somebody with it.

01:28:21.800 Yeah.

01:28:22.020 And you're the bad guy.

01:28:23.200 Suddenly you have to go to in school detention.

01:28:26.880 Yeah.

01:28:27.440 Suddenly you're the criminal.

01:28:29.180 Yeah.

01:28:29.380 They're,

01:28:29.680 those are the sick jeans that,

01:28:31.180 uh,

01:28:31.660 yeah,

01:28:32.320 $28.

01:28:33.760 That's fair.

01:28:34.800 Yeah.

01:28:35.100 That's a pretty reasonable price.

01:28:37.360 Yeah.

01:28:37.660 I don't know why my mom was being such a goddamn bitch about buying me these jeans for $28 lady.

01:28:45.800 And that was in what?

01:28:47.820 98,

01:28:48.360 99.

01:28:49.020 Like that was,

01:28:49.800 yeah,

01:28:50.200 I feel like,

01:28:50.960 uh,

01:28:51.640 those were good,

01:28:52.400 man.

01:28:52.540 They were,

01:28:52.720 they were probably $11 then,

01:28:54.280 you know?

01:28:55.320 Yeah.

01:28:55.720 Yeah.

01:28:55.940 If they're 28 now.

01:28:57.940 Yeah.

01:28:58.340 I'm trying to think of what other big clothes was popular and probably.

01:29:01.600 Well,

01:29:01.860 dude,

01:29:02.100 for me,

01:29:02.560 it was,

01:29:02.920 uh,

01:29:03.120 it was a lot of no fear.

01:29:04.400 You didn't want to have any fear on your,

01:29:07.040 on,

01:29:07.200 you wanted people to know from like across the room that you do not possess any fear.

01:29:12.680 Yeah.

01:29:13.140 None.

01:29:13.860 Oh,

01:29:14.100 if you had a fucking ounce of fear in you.

01:29:17.200 Yeah.

01:29:17.720 You better not have any fear.

01:29:19.320 And you want everyone to know that there's,

01:29:21.080 yeah,

01:29:21.340 you have no,

01:29:22.160 none.

01:29:22.800 Absolutely none.

01:29:23.620 Remember the eyes?

01:29:24.380 Remember that little eyes thing?

01:29:25.460 Every fucktard had that.

01:29:27.060 Oh yeah,

01:29:27.620 dude.

01:29:28.740 Absolutely.

01:29:29.700 Remember that shit?

01:29:30.280 And then,

01:29:30.640 and then Mossimo was,

01:29:32.220 uh,

01:29:32.500 was another big one.

01:29:34.320 Mossimo was big,

01:29:35.780 bro.

01:29:35.960 I feel like you might've had some money if you rocked a Mossimo shirt.

01:29:40.440 Yeah.

01:29:40.840 I didn't,

01:29:41.240 my,

01:29:41.460 my family wouldn't hook me up with,

01:29:43.220 uh,

01:29:44.120 with a Mossimo.

01:29:45.160 I did that one that was like,

01:29:47.580 it was like,

01:29:48.240 uh,

01:29:49.280 and they made it hard to see.

01:29:51.260 It said Mossimo,

01:29:52.460 but then like the way they was like blurred vision.

01:29:55.180 Yeah.

01:29:55.620 Yeah.

01:29:56.300 They had,

01:29:57.060 um,

01:29:57.500 I remember some,

01:29:59.040 uh,

01:29:59.320 I would always end up living with buddies and so I would use their shit,

01:30:02.480 you know?

01:30:03.080 Oh,

01:30:03.520 so you,

01:30:04.280 you kind of had a revolving closet.

01:30:05.960 A little bit,

01:30:06.720 but I would always be like,

01:30:07.800 oh man,

01:30:08.240 I can't find your shirt,

01:30:09.120 but then I'd have to wear,

01:30:09.940 I'd be at school with them.

01:30:11.280 They'd be like,

01:30:11.600 oh,

01:30:11.780 this is fucking,

01:30:12.600 you're like,

01:30:13.000 I was really looking for that shirt.

01:30:14.380 Have you seen it,

01:30:15.040 Theo?

01:30:15.220 And you're like,

01:30:15.980 no,

01:30:17.220 haven't.

01:30:19.160 I'd wear my backpack on the front and the halls.

01:30:21.520 I couldn't,

01:30:21.880 like fucking,

01:30:22.740 this is the dumbest dude.

01:30:24.120 Oh,

01:30:24.400 that's funny.

01:30:25.260 So did you go through any like phases?

01:30:27.420 You know how like,

01:30:28.060 uh,

01:30:28.540 yes,

01:30:29.100 bro.

01:30:29.340 I went through,

01:30:30.560 did you go through like a goth phase?

01:30:32.120 Yes.

01:30:32.620 Oh,

01:30:32.980 I love that for you,

01:30:34.000 dude.

01:30:34.320 I went through it and we had the boot,

01:30:36.240 like the kind of like,

01:30:37.200 uh,

01:30:37.820 what were those shoes?

01:30:38.980 Dr.

01:30:39.420 Martin.

01:30:40.160 Oh yeah.

01:30:40.560 Doc Martins.

01:30:41.240 Yeah.

01:30:41.560 Yeah.

01:30:41.740 I had some of them.

01:30:42.720 So we had those.

01:30:44.260 It made you a little taller.

01:30:45.520 That was,

01:30:45.760 that was big for me.

01:30:46.560 I was always kind of the short kid.

01:30:47.820 So I was like,

01:30:48.820 it leveled me up a little bit.

01:30:50.300 Yeah.

01:30:50.580 That's good.

01:30:51.120 Yeah.

01:30:51.620 For you though.

01:30:51.980 Cause yeah,

01:30:52.340 I was afraid of heights.

01:30:53.300 I didn't love having them on.

01:30:55.280 Yeah.

01:30:55.520 But I,

01:30:56.420 you can't fall from such great heights.

01:30:58.540 All,

01:30:59.100 uh,

01:30:59.300 all four feet,

01:31:00.560 11 inches to tumble to the ground.

01:31:05.740 Uh,

01:31:06.640 um,

01:31:07.500 but I remember those.

01:31:08.900 What I remember like the,

01:31:10.320 uh,

01:31:11.080 the hemp necklaces that had like a little silver balls in the hemp.

01:31:14.640 You don't do it.

01:31:15.060 I know what you're talking about.

01:31:17.480 I,

01:31:17.920 I was at home making them.

01:31:19.620 I would,

01:31:20.320 I'd go home.

01:31:21.160 I figured out how to make them.

01:31:22.540 I would go home and,

01:31:23.620 and make them like not do my homework and just make hemp necklaces.

01:31:27.460 Listen to Bush razor blade suitcase on,

01:31:30.880 on my CD.

01:31:33.220 And just fucking,

01:31:34.360 my mom was thinking I was just in there,

01:31:37.180 just inhaling weed smoke,

01:31:38.960 but like I didn't even smoke.

01:31:40.480 I was just like all about like hacky sacking and making hemp necklaces.

01:31:43.880 Dude.

01:31:44.400 Hacky sack was so much fun.

01:31:46.180 Oh,

01:31:46.460 dude.

01:31:46.820 I was,

01:31:47.320 I was pretty dude,

01:31:48.960 dude,

01:31:49.260 you know,

01:31:49.800 uh,

01:31:50.080 stall it on your back.

01:31:51.760 Yes.

01:31:51.960 It's all here.

01:31:52.640 And then you,

01:31:52.980 yeah.

01:31:54.260 And,

01:31:54.520 and you always have to look around as if like,

01:31:56.860 can you believe I fucking caught it right here?

01:31:59.980 Ladies.

01:32:02.240 And by ladies,

01:32:03.120 it was just like a,

01:32:04.300 some long hair dude that you,

01:32:05.900 yeah.

01:32:06.200 Or it was just like one girl was just like a mouthful of braces.

01:32:08.640 It's just like,

01:32:09.480 wow,

01:32:09.800 that's really cool.

01:32:13.700 Yeah,

01:32:14.120 bro.

01:32:14.280 There was nothing better and worse than the hacky sack circle.

01:32:17.460 There was always like two kids that didn't even know how to speak.

01:32:19.940 I feel like in it.

01:32:20.820 Yeah.

01:32:20.980 And then there were lights out.

01:32:23.200 Yeah.

01:32:23.660 There was like,

01:32:24.200 he's like,

01:32:24.640 or it's just like the nerdy kid who like never played any sports.

01:32:28.260 And then he just appears in the hacky sack circle.

01:32:30.620 And you're like,

01:32:31.340 Whoa,

01:32:31.760 Hey Brian.

01:32:32.900 What's,

01:32:33.720 what's up dog?

01:32:34.900 You want to play?

01:32:35.880 And he's like,

01:32:36.480 Oh,

01:32:36.700 sure.

01:32:37.000 And then he's just a phenom dude.

01:32:39.720 Oh,

01:32:40.420 you know,

01:32:40.880 he's Pele with it.

01:32:42.360 He's got his foot,

01:32:43.500 foot skills on point.

01:32:45.640 We had a kid,

01:32:46.780 this real pasty kid.

01:32:48.420 I mean,

01:32:48.680 he was just,

01:32:50.460 God,

01:32:51.100 he probably,

01:32:51.520 I don't know if he had any blood in him,

01:32:52.880 you know?

01:32:53.280 Yeah.

01:32:53.440 He was so white.

01:32:54.360 Like if you wanted to see color in his skin,

01:32:57.060 you had to squeeze the blood up to one side.

01:32:59.260 So you would do that often.

01:33:01.220 You always wanted to see blood,

01:33:02.760 but he broke out and did Michael Jackson one time in the cafeteria and shocked the world.

01:33:07.120 Oh my God.

01:33:08.200 That was my favorite scene.

01:33:09.540 Like the kid who like never talked.

01:33:10.920 And then like during the talent show,

01:33:13.060 he like is setting up his drum kit and you're like,

01:33:15.900 what the fuck?

01:33:16.700 Yeah.

01:33:17.080 This kid.

01:33:17.660 Randall has drums.

01:33:18.940 Yeah.

01:33:19.140 Randall has drums.

01:33:20.240 And then he's like,

01:33:21.000 Oh,

01:33:21.220 this is just a little something that I like to do when I'm at home.

01:33:25.200 And everyone's like,

01:33:26.400 okay,

01:33:26.780 Randall,

01:33:27.200 let's see.

01:33:27.840 Let's see this.

01:33:28.580 And then,

01:33:29.200 then he's just fucking Lars with it.

01:33:33.620 He's Travis Barker on that bitch.

01:33:35.520 Just beating them skins.

01:33:37.560 Oh,

01:33:38.020 he'd play the national anthem.

01:33:39.820 Oh shit.

01:33:40.540 And you just start saluting.

01:33:41.900 He's not even playing the national anthem.

01:33:43.500 You're just saluting him.

01:33:45.080 Yeah.

01:33:45.840 Suddenly he just levels up.

01:33:47.700 Oh yeah.

01:33:48.720 It was fun.

01:33:49.200 And that kid was in Summerhalter.

01:33:51.240 Yeah.

01:33:52.360 He just shows up,

01:33:53.660 sets up his drum kit,

01:33:54.800 fucking whales.

01:33:55.900 Yeah.

01:33:56.840 Thank you.

01:33:57.440 Goodbye.

01:33:57.740 Keep the drum kit.

01:33:58.800 I'm going to go be a model.

01:34:00.140 God dude.

01:34:00.840 And we're all fucking jelly.

01:34:02.300 And it was the worst though.

01:34:03.240 Cause he came and it was like,

01:34:04.580 he just set the bar for what none of us could be.

01:34:07.800 Handsome wise to the girls,

01:34:09.120 you know?

01:34:09.460 And it was just,

01:34:10.500 there was,

01:34:10.760 there was a kid in my high school,

01:34:12.340 uh,

01:34:12.900 Mike McCoy.

01:34:14.080 He's handsome.

01:34:15.380 Super cool.

01:34:16.480 Super cool looking.

01:34:18.020 Would hang out with like college kids when we were freshmen in high school.

01:34:22.600 How?

01:34:23.280 How dude?

01:34:24.620 He,

01:34:25.000 uh,

01:34:25.300 how did he do it?

01:34:25.900 How did he do it?

01:34:26.800 He could dunk a basketball in eighth grade.

01:34:29.080 No.

01:34:29.640 Yeah.

01:34:30.300 Just the coolest.

01:34:31.480 I remember one time me and my homie,

01:34:33.520 Nick Hoagie,

01:34:34.440 we're,

01:34:34.760 uh,

01:34:35.820 we're walking through.

01:34:38.600 I flipped some kids off cause I was a bad boy.

01:34:40.740 Oh yeah.

01:34:41.020 And these kids were going to just beat my ass and they were older.

01:34:43.380 And I'm like,

01:34:43.920 oh fuck.

01:34:44.580 And my homie,

01:34:45.480 Nick Hoagie was a big kid.

01:34:46.760 So we like,

01:34:47.780 uh,

01:34:48.520 we try to get over this fence.

01:34:49.980 I hop over the fence.

01:34:51.500 He couldn't get over the fence.

01:34:52.720 And I'm like,

01:34:53.200 so I had to hop back over the fence.

01:34:54.760 And I'm like,

01:34:55.040 well,

01:34:55.180 I'm not going to let him get his ass kicked.

01:34:57.060 It'll be solidarity,

01:34:58.800 you know?

01:34:59.020 Oh wow.

01:34:59.460 And so I hop back over and I'm like,

01:35:00.520 all right.

01:35:01.140 And,

01:35:01.560 uh,

01:35:02.260 these kids are like,

01:35:03.120 you better be careful who you're flipping,

01:35:04.840 flipping off.

01:35:05.760 And I'm like,

01:35:06.460 yeah,

01:35:06.700 I know we're going to get our asses kicked.

01:35:08.680 And then I just hear,

01:35:10.380 nah,

01:35:11.500 through the masses.

01:35:13.740 And then the,

01:35:14.600 the fucking crew parts and Mike McCoy comes through and he's like,

01:35:19.600 nah,

01:35:19.900 they're cool.

01:35:21.060 And these older kids,

01:35:22.820 Mike's our age.

01:35:23.700 Yeah.

01:35:23.920 And these older kids are like,

01:35:25.360 you sure,

01:35:25.780 Mike?

01:35:26.360 And he's like,

01:35:27.180 yeah,

01:35:27.400 they're cool.

01:35:28.440 Be careful who you're flipping off.

01:35:29.900 You better not do this shit ever again.

01:35:31.780 And we're like,

01:35:32.380 oh wow.

01:35:33.620 I'm like,

01:35:33.860 how cool is that?

01:35:34.700 Damn,

01:35:34.920 he stood up for you.

01:35:35.860 Standing up for us.

01:35:36.800 And then they listened to him.

01:35:38.580 That's cool.

01:35:39.420 What's up,

01:35:39.800 Mike?

01:35:40.000 How's it going,

01:35:40.500 man?

01:35:40.720 Good.

01:35:40.920 Hey,

01:35:41.240 thank you,

01:35:41.640 Mike.

01:35:41.940 Yeah.

01:35:42.100 Thanks,

01:35:42.500 Mike.

01:35:42.800 Thanks for being that guy.

01:35:43.960 Yeah.

01:35:44.040 He's a good,

01:35:44.320 good guy.

01:35:44.960 There's ways that people can use their cool that they don't realize sometimes,

01:35:48.340 I think.

01:35:48.800 Yeah.

01:35:49.040 He was all,

01:35:49.740 he was just always a leader of men.

01:35:51.160 And then he,

01:35:51.760 uh,

01:35:52.040 and then he ended up,

01:35:53.640 he's like,

01:35:54.900 he's in the military in a bad-ass fashion somehow.

01:35:57.620 I don't exactly know what he's doing,

01:35:58.880 but like there's photos of him like jumping out of helicopters,

01:36:01.880 holding assault rifles.

01:36:03.500 Yeah.

01:36:03.760 Like cool shit.

01:36:04.500 Right.

01:36:04.760 You know,

01:36:05.320 so we had this,

01:36:06.180 we had this kid named Nathaniel and he told everybody like he was an undercover cop or

01:36:10.020 something and he wasn't.

01:36:11.980 And,

01:36:12.440 um,

01:36:13.600 a bunch of people beat the shit out of him.

01:36:17.500 Different story.

01:36:18.680 Yeah.

01:36:18.960 But yeah,

01:36:19.700 he had like a fake ballot.

01:36:22.620 Like he one day pulled out.

01:36:23.900 He's like,

01:36:24.640 yeah,

01:36:24.940 well I got to surprise you guys.

01:36:26.060 I'm a fucking undercover cop.

01:36:27.400 Like fuck you,

01:36:28.700 Nathaniel.

01:36:29.400 Yeah.

01:36:29.760 Fuck you.

01:36:30.320 This is a 21 jump street,

01:36:31.860 bitch.

01:36:32.220 You,

01:36:32.440 you're not an undercover.

01:36:33.320 I've known you since the fourth grade.

01:36:35.060 You're not an undercover cop.

01:36:36.700 Yeah,

01:36:36.880 dude.

01:36:36.980 You just failed spelling,

01:36:38.280 dude.

01:36:38.420 You're not a fucking undercover cop.

01:36:40.360 Yeah.

01:36:40.500 Yeah.

01:36:40.560 Spell officer motherfucker.

01:36:42.480 You can't,

01:36:43.220 there's no Q in it.

01:36:44.540 You dumb fuck.

01:36:46.100 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

01:36:48.520 Rocky's vacation.

01:36:49.780 Here we come.

01:36:51.280 Whoa.

01:36:51.880 Is this economy?

01:36:53.400 Free beer,

01:36:54.120 wine,

01:36:54.600 and snacks.

01:36:55.880 Sweet.

01:36:56.940 Fast free wifi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

01:37:01.000 And with live TV,

01:37:02.060 I'm not missing the game.

01:37:03.840 It's kind of like I'm already on vacation.

01:37:07.500 Nice.

01:37:08.360 On behalf of Air Canada,

01:37:10.000 nice travels.

01:37:11.460 Wi-Fi available to airplane members on equipped flights sponsored by Bell conditions apply.

01:37:14.920 See your Canada.com.

01:37:17.080 Oh,

01:37:18.020 it was fun,

01:37:18.940 man.

01:37:19.880 Um,

01:37:20.420 yeah.

01:37:20.600 Do you think about having children?

01:37:21.760 Do you guys have a plan for it?

01:37:23.220 Or what do you,

01:37:23.800 once you get married,

01:37:24.440 do you have to make a plan to have children?

01:37:26.020 Or how does that kind of,

01:37:26.740 do you have to,

01:37:27.180 I guess you have to talk about it with your spouse.

01:37:29.380 You do.

01:37:29.940 There was a conversation and then,

01:37:31.960 and then it's like,

01:37:33.940 uh,

01:37:34.420 getting off of the birth control.

01:37:35.920 And that takes like a few months to get out of your system.

01:37:38.960 Oh.

01:37:39.180 And then,

01:37:39.720 and then it's,

01:37:40.500 uh,

01:37:40.940 you know,

01:37:41.300 then it's game on.

01:37:42.340 You got a plan,

01:37:43.040 huh?

01:37:43.800 But then even women.

01:37:44.760 But also like,

01:37:45.220 I'm like,

01:37:46.320 there,

01:37:46.560 there can't be too much of a plan because like it's life,

01:37:49.680 baby.

01:37:50.080 Yeah.

01:37:50.360 It's just going to happen.

01:37:51.300 And then,

01:37:52.100 and then you just have to,

01:37:53.780 then you're going to have like a homie that you like have to take care of.

01:37:57.160 Yeah.

01:37:58.460 Which is,

01:37:59.160 you know,

01:38:00.220 cause I'm,

01:38:00.820 you know,

01:38:01.120 I'm,

01:38:01.300 I'm 39 years old now.

01:38:02.760 And like to go this long without having to take care of a little homie is,

01:38:07.760 uh,

01:38:08.460 you know,

01:38:08.720 cause I've like a lot of my friends,

01:38:10.180 they had kids like Blake and honors had kids almost a decade ago now.

01:38:14.960 No way.

01:38:15.320 So they already have like true little people that they take care of that are like

01:38:19.640 buddies playing sports.

01:38:21.240 Wow.

01:38:21.800 You know,

01:38:22.200 do you feel behind the curve?

01:38:24.700 No.

01:38:25.160 Cause I mean,

01:38:25.720 like I feel like I also have a whole other group of friends that haven't yet.

01:38:30.620 Yeah.

01:38:30.760 So you and work sometimes keeps you busy,

01:38:33.780 you know?

01:38:34.500 Yeah.

01:38:34.820 For me,

01:38:35.220 I was like,

01:38:35.560 I wanted to be,

01:38:36.520 uh,

01:38:38.340 set up enough that when I do have kids,

01:38:40.600 like I,

01:38:41.740 it's,

01:38:42.160 I don't have to feel like I,

01:38:44.240 uh,

01:38:45.280 like I know what I can pass on and what there was a point where I was like,

01:38:48.820 I have to be on the road all the time.

01:38:51.140 I have to be doing,

01:38:52.100 I have to have a TV show.

01:38:53.400 I have to have a standup show.

01:38:54.620 I have to have like,

01:38:56.160 I have to do all these things to get to the place that I want to be.

01:38:59.400 And then now I'm like,

01:39:00.760 okay,

01:39:01.100 like I could set up a movie and I'm confident enough that I'll get another

01:39:06.480 opportunity to come.

01:39:07.680 I don't have to jump on everything.

01:39:09.540 So there will be,

01:39:10.200 I saw I'll have more time to be a good dad.

01:39:13.360 Cause you know,

01:39:14.080 that's pretty important.

01:39:15.500 Oh,

01:39:15.700 I think it's going to be key.

01:39:16.820 Probably.

01:39:17.400 Yeah.

01:39:18.100 Did,

01:39:18.500 was there,

01:39:19.200 um,

01:39:20.100 yeah,

01:39:20.520 I guess it's kind of nice to be,

01:39:21.840 it is nice to be able to say,

01:39:23.760 I don't want,

01:39:25.080 I don't want to do that.

01:39:27.020 Yeah.

01:39:27.760 And feel like there,

01:39:30.080 it used to be like you,

01:39:32.420 you would think like,

01:39:33.300 oh,

01:39:33.460 if I don't do that,

01:39:34.880 someone else is going to do that.

01:39:36.280 And then the,

01:39:38.880 I would have lost out on that.

01:39:40.320 Opportunity.

01:39:40.900 When now it's like,

01:39:41.780 it's fine.

01:39:42.340 Someone else can do it.

01:39:43.940 Right.

01:39:44.300 It's just not,

01:39:44.900 it just wasn't for me.

01:39:45.960 Yeah.

01:39:46.540 Or I don't,

01:39:47.260 I want to have the summer to do X,

01:39:49.080 Y,

01:39:49.240 Z like that is more important than this right now.

01:39:51.720 Yeah.

01:39:52.000 And I think like just career wise right now,

01:39:53.860 I feel like I'm in a place where like I can,

01:39:55.880 um,

01:39:57.800 pick and choose a little more than I used to be able to.

01:40:00.300 Congrats,

01:40:00.700 man.

01:40:00.800 It's real cool.

01:40:01.560 Yeah.

01:40:01.800 Thanks.

01:40:02.240 I mean,

01:40:02.460 you too,

01:40:02.900 you know,

01:40:03.260 I bet it's the same with the podcast world that you've built.

01:40:06.360 It's,

01:40:06.820 uh,

01:40:07.080 it's nice to,

01:40:08.720 yeah,

01:40:08.800 I remember when it was taken off for you,

01:40:10.700 for you and I saw you at the,

01:40:12.440 um,

01:40:13.380 in the hallway of the improv.

01:40:14.520 And I remember being like,

01:40:15.520 just knowing that your standup was really taking off.

01:40:18.780 And I was like,

01:40:19.500 was it your Netflix special?

01:40:20.900 Like,

01:40:21.140 did your special come out and like kind of blew you up?

01:40:24.140 Cause I think I was gearing up to do my Netflix special and you were like,

01:40:27.980 no,

01:40:28.220 it was really the podcast.

01:40:29.580 The podcast is what,

01:40:30.600 what it was.

01:40:31.600 Yeah.

01:40:32.040 Yeah.

01:40:32.320 And I just,

01:40:33.080 I was like,

01:40:33.360 Oh,

01:40:33.560 that's sick.

01:40:34.360 I could see in all you guys,

01:40:35.760 you and,

01:40:36.280 you know,

01:40:37.200 Segura and yeah,

01:40:39.240 it's a whole world.

01:40:40.040 Yeah.

01:40:40.560 It's interesting to have a whole world,

01:40:42.100 you know?

01:40:42.960 Um,

01:40:43.780 and I think,

01:40:44.740 yeah,

01:40:44.900 it's like,

01:40:45.880 it's interesting to have so many different people in here.

01:40:47.920 It's interesting that it almost gave everybody else a different Hollywood or a lot of people,

01:40:52.940 a different type of Hollywood,

01:40:54.240 you know,

01:40:54.820 we just kind of get to communicate,

01:40:56.660 um,

01:40:58.360 get to sit and chat with people too,

01:40:59.900 you know,

01:41:00.080 and catch up.

01:41:00.800 That's fun.

01:41:01.220 I'm going to talk to some of my heroes.

01:41:02.980 Yeah.

01:41:03.280 It's fun to be able to,

01:41:04.520 uh,

01:41:06.620 what I think is cool about podcasts is it's like,

01:41:09.240 it just gives people an opportunity to go like,

01:41:12.160 I wonder what my favorite comics,

01:41:14.180 how they are when they're not,

01:41:16.740 are they funny?

01:41:17.420 Just off the cuff or do they have to like write everything down?

01:41:20.880 It just gives them a opportunity to peek behind the curtain of like,

01:41:24.220 what is kind of like to sit in the back of a comedy club with,

01:41:28.180 you know,

01:41:28.680 with comedian peers.

01:41:31.140 Yeah.

01:41:31.520 You know?

01:41:32.000 And it's not like we would sit down and have like an hour long conversation in the back of a comedy club

01:41:36.260 because you got to do your set,

01:41:37.680 but it's like,

01:41:38.140 it gives people a little peek.

01:41:39.860 Yeah.

01:41:40.880 Yeah.

01:41:41.200 It's interesting,

01:41:41.860 man.

01:41:42.060 It's interesting to see,

01:41:43.200 uh,

01:41:43.720 it's interesting to hear.

01:41:44.560 I like listening to some pods and I'm like,

01:41:46.120 Oh wow,

01:41:46.560 this is,

01:41:47.020 this is good.

01:41:47.540 You know?

01:41:48.080 I mean,

01:41:48.320 it's just,

01:41:48.700 it's,

01:41:49.400 it's nice to be able to talk about things.

01:41:50.900 It's nice to be able to see where somebody's career is at,

01:41:53.020 how some things have kind of happened for them.

01:41:55.040 People's lives get so busy too.

01:41:56.480 I've started to realize that sometimes when I sit down with someone to podcast,

01:41:59.700 it may be the only time I'm going to get to talk to them for a while.

01:42:02.340 So to make,

01:42:03.300 you know,

01:42:03.480 to sort of really try and make the time have some,

01:42:05.360 um,

01:42:05.740 value,

01:42:06.600 uh,

01:42:06.920 not only to listeners,

01:42:07.980 but you know,

01:42:08.780 just,

01:42:09.180 just like between me and them.

01:42:12.140 Um,

01:42:12.580 what's like,

01:42:13.120 uh,

01:42:13.580 I,

01:42:14.080 you know,

01:42:14.280 there's like some meme going around of like,

01:42:17.660 I don't know,

01:42:18.260 of like showing like kids playing.

01:42:20.380 And then it's like,

01:42:20.960 at some point you're going to go out and play with your friends.

01:42:26.180 And that'll be the last time you played with your friends in your childhood.

01:42:29.780 And you're like,

01:42:31.040 Oh yeah.

01:42:31.460 And it's sort of the same with like comics where we all kind of were in the same circles when we were starting out at the comedy store,

01:42:40.420 at the improv,

01:42:41.380 the laugh factor,

01:42:42.020 wherever.

01:42:42.800 Uh,

01:42:43.240 and you just see the same people over and over and over and over and over again.

01:42:46.500 And then all of a sudden something happens in someone's career and it takes them this way or that way.

01:42:51.960 And then you no longer see those people.

01:42:54.100 Cause it's probably been years since I've seen you.

01:42:56.100 Yeah.

01:42:56.660 So like it's,

01:42:58.280 it's cool.

01:42:58.960 It's cool for the podcast world to be able to sit down with people that you respect and like,

01:43:04.240 and,

01:43:04.680 uh,

01:43:05.340 and have conversations with them and get to catch up with,

01:43:08.540 with people that,

01:43:09.380 uh,

01:43:09.640 you always liked,

01:43:10.620 even if you only ever saw them for 15 minutes in the back of comedy clubs once a week.

01:43:15.340 Yeah.

01:43:17.280 Um,

01:43:17.920 I don't know what to say after that.

01:43:20.980 Zach,

01:43:21.220 do we have any other good news?

01:43:22.200 Was there anything else that we were looking at in the news that was interesting?

01:43:24.600 Um,

01:43:26.540 yeah,

01:43:27.040 well,

01:43:27.440 uh,

01:43:27.860 so it looks,

01:43:29.380 they just tweeted this photo last night of Elon Musk is training for his fight with Mark Zuckerberg.

01:43:33.760 I guess with Lex Friedman.

01:43:35.580 That's awesome that he's training.

01:43:36.980 I love it.

01:43:37.680 And I really want to see this fight cause it,

01:43:40.440 it will be entertaining regardless of how good of a fight it is.

01:43:44.260 Uh,

01:43:45.380 I thought I read something about how Elon Musk's mom doesn't want him to fight and came out and said like the fight is canceled.

01:43:54.980 Wow.

01:43:55.480 But maybe that's thick news.

01:43:58.360 I don't know.

01:43:59.340 I have no idea.

01:44:00.340 Um,

01:44:00.700 yeah,

01:44:00.900 I mean,

01:44:01.060 it's hard to know these days what is news,

01:44:02.920 what is being used as like a ploy to push something.

01:44:06.920 Um,

01:44:07.700 I think that they'll encourage this match.

01:44:11.540 My a musk.

01:44:12.780 Okay.

01:44:16.180 Wow.

01:44:17.040 Well,

01:44:17.500 I think she must know that Elon,

01:44:19.780 I think they say that Zuckerberg can actually.

01:44:24.060 Well,

01:44:24.540 you see Mark Zuckerberg.

01:44:27.260 He's a lot younger than Elon,

01:44:30.180 right?

01:44:30.500 He's only five,

01:44:31.240 seven.

01:44:31.540 Now Elon's five,

01:44:32.380 10 or 11.

01:44:33.800 I don't know the weight difference,

01:44:35.200 but if you have a guy that's really strong,

01:44:37.080 that small,

01:44:37.500 I think he's going to defeat a guy that's weaker.

01:44:39.320 That's big.

01:44:39.760 Well,

01:44:39.940 and also Elon isn't known for being like a fighter at all.

01:44:44.840 And I feel like,

01:44:45.560 no,

01:44:46.300 I feel Mark like trains.

01:44:50.460 He trains.

01:44:50.900 He trains.

01:44:51.500 He's like,

01:44:51.960 he's like in the Jeff,

01:44:53.160 uh,

01:44:54.420 Bezos camp of like,

01:44:55.780 he got rich.

01:44:56.660 And then now he just eats space food and,

01:45:00.180 uh,

01:45:00.460 treats his body like a temple.

01:45:02.120 Yeah.

01:45:02.460 I mean,

01:45:02.680 Mark hasn't blinked probably since 91 or 92.

01:45:05.940 Yeah.

01:45:06.200 I think he had the surgery.

01:45:08.560 I mean,

01:45:09.940 you can see that he's writing an algorithm with his fucking eyes,

01:45:13.320 bro.

01:45:13.460 Yeah,

01:45:13.640 dude,

01:45:13.960 he isn't,

01:45:14.640 he is human AI right there.

01:45:16.680 It totally is.

01:45:17.480 There's no doubt about it.

01:45:18.520 He,

01:45:18.700 he very much has an AI look and Elon looks,

01:45:21.460 I think,

01:45:22.000 I just don't,

01:45:23.280 I don't know how Elon wins,

01:45:24.900 but if Elon is low key,

01:45:28.160 I mean,

01:45:28.540 you don't even look at,

01:45:29.000 he's holding those boxing gloves correctly.

01:45:30.400 If you look at the boxing gloves picture.

01:45:32.080 Yeah.

01:45:32.240 Yeah.

01:45:32.260 He's not chin is way out there,

01:45:33.960 buddy.

01:45:34.840 Yeah.

01:45:35.220 That's a great point.

01:45:36.300 Even just right there.

01:45:37.380 Yeah.

01:45:38.980 And also the age difference.

01:45:41.600 That is something.

01:45:42.800 Oh,

01:45:42.940 that'll wear you.

01:45:43.620 Oh yeah.

01:45:43.960 Your gas tank will be bad.

01:45:45.500 Uh,

01:45:46.340 but Elon has a gas tank.

01:45:47.680 He can stay up all night and tweet.

01:45:48.600 I mean,

01:45:48.740 they got to tweet it fricking.

01:45:50.140 Yeah.

01:45:50.440 Yeah.

01:45:50.820 Yeah.

01:45:51.080 You're right.

01:45:51.460 He's got gas in the tank.

01:45:52.980 So maybe,

01:45:53.340 maybe I'm excited to see it.

01:45:54.940 He's also a lot heavier.

01:45:56.480 It's true.

01:45:57.420 So,

01:45:58.300 you know,

01:45:58.900 it's a good point.

01:45:59.420 You just lay it on top of him.

01:46:00.860 You might win.

01:46:01.720 It's a good point.

01:46:02.400 Yeah.

01:46:02.900 I think it's just getting interesting in the world.

01:46:04.440 This is the type of stuff you're starting to see.

01:46:05.980 And we talked about this years ago about everything becoming WWE,

01:46:09.320 you know,

01:46:09.980 everything becoming matches.

01:46:11.500 It's like you have,

01:46:12.280 uh,

01:46:13.360 you know,

01:46:13.760 Jake Paul and Nate Diaz are going to fight you.

01:46:15.740 You know,

01:46:16.000 you have potentially,

01:46:17.580 I mean,

01:46:17.740 this has potential,

01:46:19.020 you know,

01:46:19.440 like Dana White wouldn't waste his time.

01:46:21.160 I don't think communicating with these guys.

01:46:23.260 Um,

01:46:23.660 no,

01:46:23.920 I mean,

01:46:24.120 I would,

01:46:24.600 I want to see it like it is.

01:46:26.220 It is weird.

01:46:26.800 It sort of feels like hunger games or some shit.

01:46:31.120 Like we're like,

01:46:32.760 they used to make movies.

01:46:33.760 We're like in a world where,

01:46:35.540 yeah,

01:46:36.560 where the two richest men in the world just duke it out.

01:46:39.520 Uh,

01:46:40.000 it feels fake,

01:46:41.380 you know?

01:46:41.800 And it feels,

01:46:42.740 it's so weird now that like,

01:46:44.800 like if me and you wanted to just fight there,

01:46:49.980 we could fight.

01:46:50.800 And then we could like be at staple center fighting when it used to be like,

01:46:54.380 you used to have to be a fighter.

01:46:57.700 You,

01:46:57.940 you would like have to go through training for it.

01:47:01.660 It'd just be like me and you were like similarly built.

01:47:04.780 It'd be like,

01:47:05.560 yeah,

01:47:06.660 Theo's got the reach,

01:47:07.800 but Adam can get inside.

01:47:09.900 And then,

01:47:10.640 and then we could be at least on an undercard.

01:47:12.440 Yeah,

01:47:12.600 we could be on an undercard.

01:47:13.940 We could be on an undercard for probably like,

01:47:15.500 Oh,

01:47:15.720 maybe who else could go?

01:47:17.480 Who,

01:47:17.660 who else would be on that card?

01:47:19.260 I'd like to see Josh DeMell against somebody.

01:47:24.600 I could,

01:47:25.360 I could,

01:47:25.700 he's good.

01:47:26.020 He's,

01:47:26.300 he's a,

01:47:26.340 he's a big man too.

01:47:27.680 He's got that long reach.

01:47:29.400 Big.

01:47:30.140 Him versus Dax Shepard.

01:47:32.260 Ooh.

01:47:32.840 Fucking that's a banger ring right there.

01:47:34.920 Oh,

01:47:35.360 that's it.

01:47:35.960 Yeah.

01:47:36.240 We're the undercard.

01:47:37.380 People,

01:47:37.760 people are trickling in for us.

01:47:39.460 Yeah,

01:47:39.700 they're trickling in.

01:47:40.360 Yeah,

01:47:40.440 they're trickling in.

01:47:41.360 They're,

01:47:41.480 they're like still getting their,

01:47:43.000 their drinks and their,

01:47:44.020 their foot long dodger dog.

01:47:46.780 Yeah.

01:47:46.980 Somebody's explaining to his wife who we are.

01:47:49.060 Uh-huh.

01:47:49.680 Yeah.

01:47:50.180 Yeah.

01:47:50.900 Showing clips.

01:47:52.000 She's like,

01:47:52.520 Oh,

01:47:52.700 I saw bumper from pitch.

01:47:54.880 Perfect is fine.

01:47:55.720 Is fighting the podcaster guy.

01:47:59.660 Yeah.

01:48:00.100 Yeah.

01:48:00.380 Huh?

01:48:00.760 Honey,

01:48:01.040 it's going to get better,

01:48:01.860 honey.

01:48:02.060 It's going to get better.

01:48:03.740 If I don't get better,

01:48:04.940 it's just me and you just,

01:48:06.000 just dancing around each other.

01:48:07.880 Neither of us really wants to throw a punch.

01:48:09.960 You break it.

01:48:10.820 I hit you once.

01:48:11.600 You break in a song.

01:48:12.280 Yeah.

01:48:12.520 I do.

01:48:14.080 I spin off.

01:48:16.500 And then who else is on that card?

01:48:18.000 Who's under us?

01:48:18.480 You said bang ring.

01:48:19.600 What if you went like old,

01:48:20.660 it's like a Rufio type of like,

01:48:22.880 Oh,

01:48:23.020 versus Emmanuel Lewis,

01:48:24.340 maybe.

01:48:26.080 Was Emmanuel Lewis dead?

01:48:29.120 But Hey,

01:48:29.640 I want to put that out there.

01:48:30.700 If he's not,

01:48:31.400 Hey,

01:48:31.580 sorry.

01:48:32.100 Whoever brought pink's mom to the show,

01:48:34.000 though,

01:48:34.140 can throw on stage.

01:48:35.340 Yeah.

01:48:35.460 That's his promoter.

01:48:36.600 Uh-huh.

01:48:37.000 Yeah.

01:48:37.160 So no,

01:48:39.280 we go.

01:48:39.460 52.

01:48:40.660 All right.

01:48:41.760 Versus Rufio.

01:48:42.460 So if you had them two,

01:48:43.600 and we need a good female bout on the card too.

01:48:48.060 Yes,

01:48:48.700 absolutely.

01:48:51.380 Jane Lynch,

01:48:53.100 Amy Schumer.

01:48:54.380 Ooh,

01:48:55.100 I like that.

01:48:56.280 That's fun.

01:48:57.800 Jane's a little older,

01:48:58.640 but she's,

01:48:59.200 she's a tall woman.

01:49:00.700 She's longer.

01:49:01.600 She's longer.

01:49:02.160 And she could,

01:49:02.840 she looks like she could go through a fucking,

01:49:05.320 like,

01:49:05.520 Yeah.

01:49:05.780 She could run through a wall,

01:49:06.920 that lady.

01:49:07.460 Oh,

01:49:07.700 she looks like the,

01:49:08.500 like a wind chime that'll beat the fuck out of some music.

01:49:11.460 That is exactly what she looks like.

01:49:13.280 That was a perfect description of Jane Lynch.

01:49:17.800 Um,

01:49:18.300 that'd be fun,

01:49:18.960 man.

01:49:19.920 Um,

01:49:20.560 what else?

01:49:20.940 Anything else,

01:49:21.480 Zach,

01:49:21.660 or do you think we covered a lot of neat stuff?

01:49:23.500 Did we cover neat stuff,

01:49:24.700 Zach?

01:49:24.940 Yeah,

01:49:25.080 I think we covered some neat stuff.

01:49:26.440 Yeah.

01:49:26.940 Learned about piss pigs.

01:49:27.960 That was informative.

01:49:28.700 Oh,

01:49:28.840 that's so heartbreaking.

01:49:31.160 Yeah,

01:49:31.520 we couldn't really look it up because it is pretty pornographic.

01:49:34.580 Thank God.

01:49:35.380 And I have the blockers too on my phone and computer.

01:49:38.620 Um,

01:49:40.280 but the movie is July 7th.

01:49:42.380 That's right.

01:49:42.900 July 7th,

01:49:43.620 the outlaws.

01:49:44.580 We want to go watch it.

01:49:45.400 And what do,

01:49:45.960 what do consumers need to think about when they go watch stuff like,

01:49:49.320 and how it affects what other movies are going to be created?

01:49:52.620 Because I feel like that's starting to become like,

01:49:54.660 it's always been a thing,

01:49:55.880 but with only so many comedies being created last year,

01:49:58.640 that's unbelievable.

01:49:59.640 It sucks,

01:50:00.340 dude.

01:50:00.580 It sucks.

01:50:01.760 Uh,

01:50:02.520 and luckily like Netflix is one of the places that is just willing to roll the

01:50:06.520 dice a little more than,

01:50:07.740 than other places because it matters so much less.

01:50:11.780 Like,

01:50:12.280 like,

01:50:12.660 like the machine and Sebastian's movie,

01:50:15.360 um,

01:50:15.700 about my father.

01:50:16.580 I think,

01:50:17.380 uh,

01:50:18.620 the fact that they put both of those movies out on the same weekend,

01:50:21.440 I'm like,

01:50:22.340 that fucking sucks.

01:50:23.620 Cause like,

01:50:24.240 you're putting down six movies all year long and then you put two of them

01:50:28.340 out on the same weekend.

01:50:29.360 And so like,

01:50:30.040 if you were going to go see a comedy,

01:50:31.300 you had to choose between these two.

01:50:32.960 And then when those movies only make $8 million or whatever opening weekend,

01:50:36.420 well,

01:50:36.900 you're like,

01:50:37.260 well,

01:50:37.420 if it was only the one movie,

01:50:38.860 maybe it could have made 14.

01:50:39.960 Could have made,

01:50:40.420 yeah,

01:50:40.740 15,

01:50:41.600 16.

01:50:41.920 And then that's a healthy amount for it to make,

01:50:44.160 but right.

01:50:45.280 Yeah.

01:50:45.560 So,

01:50:46.080 uh,

01:50:47.460 so yeah,

01:50:47.880 support.

01:50:48.240 If you like comedy,

01:50:49.360 support comedies,

01:50:50.900 watch it,

01:50:51.600 tell your friends to watch it.

01:50:53.540 Um,

01:50:53.880 and then,

01:50:54.400 and then we'll have the opportunity to make more of them.

01:50:56.800 And,

01:50:57.080 and it used to be,

01:50:58.320 you know,

01:50:58.620 well,

01:50:58.820 people are like,

01:50:59.220 well,

01:50:59.380 if you're,

01:50:59.680 you made better comedies,

01:51:00.680 then it's like,

01:51:01.860 sure.

01:51:02.440 But it's hard to make a movie.

01:51:03.740 First of all,

01:51:04.440 it's really hard.

01:51:05.160 And secondly,

01:51:06.080 uh,

01:51:07.060 there used to be like 40 shots and making a good comedy.

01:51:10.520 And then maybe two or three of them were a classic comedy.

01:51:14.060 And you're like,

01:51:15.480 well,

01:51:17.180 that old school and came out and you're like,

01:51:19.200 well,

01:51:19.320 there was 28 other movies that weren't old school that came out that year.

01:51:22.980 You know what I mean?

01:51:23.640 Right.

01:51:24.240 So the more opportunities we have to make classic comedies,

01:51:28.040 the more we'll be able to,

01:51:29.740 to nail it.

01:51:30.700 But I,

01:51:30.960 I do think outlaws,

01:51:32.060 uh,

01:51:32.900 has a potential to be one of those type of movies.

01:51:35.540 So I'm really proud of it.

01:51:37.100 Do you think of,

01:51:38.380 um,

01:51:38.720 do you start to think of do creating a movie entirely of your own,

01:51:42.760 like,

01:51:43.060 or partnering with somebody and using your,

01:51:45.060 like do you,

01:51:45.780 or,

01:51:46.100 and doing it direct to consumer?

01:51:47.300 Does that ever start to become a discussable model?

01:51:50.260 Maybe not in your space.

01:51:51.500 I mean,

01:51:51.740 you're kind of a,

01:51:53.040 yeah,

01:51:53.280 just cause it's the movies I want to make are usually like action comedies and

01:51:58.880 they are,

01:51:59.740 you need money.

01:52:00.700 I need money.

01:52:01.360 Like I don't have $30 million of my own money to invest.

01:52:05.540 In the movie.

01:52:06.760 Right.

01:52:07.200 Uh,

01:52:08.060 so you got it.

01:52:09.240 You need a big deal.

01:52:10.940 Yeah.

01:52:11.080 And you need a partner.

01:52:11.820 And then also like,

01:52:12.920 it costs a lot to promote a movie too.

01:52:14.900 Like that's where people forget like buying TV commercials to play during

01:52:19.840 basketball games.

01:52:20.820 And like things that people are actually watching live.

01:52:23.400 I cost a fortune.

01:52:24.740 Yeah.

01:52:25.160 And to put billboards up and to have,

01:52:27.080 you know,

01:52:27.420 radio commercials and like to get the word out there.

01:52:29.980 Like,

01:52:30.380 I don't,

01:52:30.720 I don't have that infrastructure.

01:52:31.860 So like workaholics movie,

01:52:33.540 we were going to do a workaholics movie and we were five weeks out from

01:52:36.960 shooting.

01:52:37.460 You'd already written it.

01:52:38.200 Already written it.

01:52:39.160 We're in pre-production,

01:52:40.540 had offices,

01:52:41.540 we're building sets,

01:52:43.060 had the whole cast and crew coming back.

01:52:45.280 We're going to shoot it here in LA.

01:52:46.880 And then at the top of this year,

01:52:49.560 Paramount plus said it didn't.

01:52:52.120 And they like went off on like,

01:52:54.220 you know,

01:52:54.740 the holiday break.

01:52:56.120 And when they came back,

01:52:57.300 they were like,

01:52:57.780 you know what?

01:52:58.140 We have a new global agenda and we don't feel that workaholics fits the

01:53:02.520 global agenda.

01:53:03.180 And they pulled the plug from us.

01:53:05.020 And everyone's like,

01:53:06.000 just make the movie on your own.

01:53:07.420 And it was like,

01:53:08.460 we don't have that much money to,

01:53:10.660 you know,

01:53:10.880 we're not billionaires.

01:53:11.860 We like,

01:53:12.160 we don't have that kind of coin.

01:53:13.780 So like now it's just,

01:53:15.960 and they own the rights to it too.

01:53:17.660 So we couldn't even anyways.

01:53:19.300 So yeah,

01:53:19.760 we just,

01:53:20.600 all that,

01:53:21.320 all that work for,

01:53:22.120 for nothing.

01:53:22.860 How did,

01:53:23.620 and that,

01:53:24.000 I mean,

01:53:24.120 that just goes to show you how hard it is,

01:53:26.020 why people don't,

01:53:27.700 I can't imagine that movie.

01:53:29.660 I can't imagine that not getting made.

01:53:31.640 I can't imagine if you're going to find a brand that people love.

01:53:36.040 Yeah.

01:53:36.740 That,

01:53:37.120 that would not,

01:53:38.080 that they would not think that that would have an audience.

01:53:40.440 It was so heartbreaking because it was,

01:53:42.400 I did get to write a really funny press release though,

01:53:46.120 about just,

01:53:47.080 I said,

01:53:47.560 butthurt like 15 times in the,

01:53:49.360 how butthurt I am that they pulled the plug,

01:53:51.740 which I'm,

01:53:52.240 I'm,

01:53:52.500 it was funny to see like,

01:53:54.400 and variety and the Hollywood reporter saying,

01:53:56.820 Adam Devine says,

01:53:57.920 he's very butthurt that the Paramount Plus canceled the workaholics movie.

01:54:02.160 But,

01:54:02.700 uh,

01:54:03.380 they,

01:54:03.820 they like were gassing us up.

01:54:05.780 They're like,

01:54:06.140 this is the home for workaholics.

01:54:08.200 We want to build out the workaholics universe.

01:54:11.420 And they're like,

01:54:12.280 we want to do like a spinoff show that you guys executive produce.

01:54:16.340 Maybe we do an animated project.

01:54:18.280 We'll do the movie.

01:54:19.680 Like we want your brand of comedy to live on Paramount Plus.

01:54:24.000 And we're like,

01:54:25.180 thank God.

01:54:26.220 Like we have a home base that we could just go to.

01:54:29.320 We can make all of our stuff there.

01:54:31.680 We can,

01:54:32.200 people love it.

01:54:33.020 We can keep the workaholics family alive.

01:54:36.180 Like so many friends and,

01:54:38.300 and,

01:54:38.560 you know,

01:54:38.700 people that worked on the show that,

01:54:40.400 that would like,

01:54:42.080 that was going to be their opportunity.

01:54:43.560 And then they just pulled the rug out from us.

01:54:45.680 So super butthurt about it,

01:54:48.100 but,

01:54:48.320 um,

01:54:51.360 anything else?

01:54:53.400 Is that anything?

01:54:54.660 That's unreal,

01:54:55.560 man.

01:54:56.140 Yeah.

01:54:56.420 It just shows you how hard it is to get something path.

01:54:59.360 I just like,

01:55:00.180 it's like,

01:55:00.320 do people not,

01:55:01.140 it's almost like if it doesn't have global power,

01:55:03.020 if they don't think it can sell,

01:55:04.240 if it can sell tickets to everywhere,

01:55:06.180 well,

01:55:06.480 see that,

01:55:06.900 that was the,

01:55:07.400 what was weird is like,

01:55:08.400 I've been in the Amazon jungle.

01:55:12.460 I've been up the Amazon and we stayed in a little hut.

01:55:16.920 And the guy who,

01:55:18.240 uh,

01:55:19.460 was like in charge of feeding us his teenage son,

01:55:22.740 new workaholics was a fan.

01:55:24.820 I've been in Germany just like walking along the fucking Berlin wall.

01:55:30.520 And people are stopping me saying they'd love workaholics.

01:55:32.980 I'm like,

01:55:33.480 it was pretty global.

01:55:34.940 Yeah.

01:55:35.420 Like as far as a,

01:55:37.040 you know,

01:55:37.400 kind of a cult comedy show goes,

01:55:39.240 I'm like,

01:55:40.760 it wasn't like,

01:55:41.920 it was,

01:55:42.300 it wasn't like a hundred million dollar Marvel movie.

01:55:44.560 Yeah.

01:55:44.800 So I don't get it,

01:55:45.520 but you know,

01:55:45.840 I feel like they're really trying to figure out what they're doing over there at Paramount Plus.

01:55:49.640 And they,

01:55:50.020 they have not fully figured it out.

01:55:51.520 it's so,

01:55:52.580 it's so on.

01:55:53.480 It's so,

01:55:53.900 it feels so weird to know is how people who are making the choices don't,

01:55:57.240 don't have a real understanding of what's going on or what they,

01:56:01.040 or what the zeitgeist of like people think is funny is.

01:56:04.120 Yeah.

01:56:04.400 Well,

01:56:04.520 I think it was like,

01:56:06.520 it,

01:56:06.800 it,

01:56:07.080 it was,

01:56:07.460 cause comedy central hit and it was people of a certain age,

01:56:10.220 right?

01:56:10.580 That really loved it.

01:56:11.760 That they were like,

01:56:13.280 just got out of college or we're still in high school or like maybe even a little bit older than that.

01:56:19.240 that were like,

01:56:20.220 Oh yeah,

01:56:20.520 that was just like me when I was in college or kids that were younger that were like,

01:56:24.100 Oh wow,

01:56:24.480 that seems crazy.

01:56:25.700 Yeah.

01:56:26.320 Uh,

01:56:26.920 uh,

01:56:27.200 like when I have my first jobs,

01:56:29.360 I hope me and my friends still live with each other and party,

01:56:31.880 party all the time.

01:56:33.320 Uh,

01:56:33.720 and then I think like they're like people who had kids that were the right age know about workaholics.

01:56:41.360 Cause they're like,

01:56:41.840 Oh my,

01:56:42.300 my teenage sons loved workaholics.

01:56:44.780 And I think it was just like the generation,

01:56:47.540 the kid,

01:56:47.880 the guys that are in charge now didn't have their kids were too young.

01:56:51.540 So they didn't know.

01:56:52.880 Fuck.

01:56:53.400 And I think it was just,

01:56:54.400 we missed that window.

01:56:55.460 I think what a fuck hat.

01:56:59.100 It's all right.

01:56:59.800 Things are going well.

01:57:00.640 Yeah.

01:57:00.840 Things are going well.

01:57:01.580 Right.

01:57:01.860 Yeah.

01:57:02.060 But it is interesting to hear about that dude.

01:57:03.860 The other night after a show,

01:57:05.020 this guy,

01:57:05.460 this Mexican kid,

01:57:06.300 uh,

01:57:06.780 this guy at the show,

01:57:07.960 he's a Mexican guy.

01:57:08.560 He comes up and he's like,

01:57:09.460 this is the craziest request ever got.

01:57:11.120 He goes,

01:57:11.460 Hey bro,

01:57:11.920 can you make a video for my cousin Oscar?

01:57:14.480 And I was like,

01:57:15.280 yeah,

01:57:15.540 man,

01:57:16.020 what do you want me to say?

01:57:16.880 And he's like,

01:57:17.340 uh,

01:57:17.640 he got possessed by ghosts.

01:57:19.300 That's what he said,

01:57:19.760 right?

01:57:20.640 Yeah.

01:57:21.000 He's not joking.

01:57:21.960 Yeah.

01:57:22.300 Yup.

01:57:22.920 He's like,

01:57:23.280 Oh,

01:57:23.480 he got possessed by ghosts,

01:57:24.780 man.

01:57:24.940 So just fucking tell him something positive.

01:57:29.040 So just try to,

01:57:30.280 um,

01:57:31.720 exercise his demons.

01:57:34.220 Yeah.

01:57:34.740 Uh,

01:57:35.060 I was like,

01:57:35.700 uh,

01:57:35.940 Oscar,

01:57:36.460 homie,

01:57:36.780 we miss you,

01:57:37.500 homie.

01:57:40.500 Come back to the light.

01:57:41.800 I didn't know what to say,

01:57:43.180 bro.

01:57:43.660 But that was probably one of the craziest requests that I've gotten.

01:57:46.340 Oh,

01:57:46.460 that's so funny.

01:57:48.160 Um,

01:57:49.420 Oh dude,

01:57:50.020 in Germany one time,

01:57:51.020 we're biking on the thing.

01:57:52.120 We're biking somewhere.

01:57:53.540 Some guys in a park had a wiener on him.

01:57:56.380 I mean,

01:57:56.700 a real fucking,

01:57:57.920 um,

01:57:58.980 like a Datsun,

01:58:00.460 you know what I'm saying?

01:58:01.080 And he had that fucking,

01:58:02.280 that thing would go get the paper.

01:58:03.700 Yeah.

01:58:03.840 The long,

01:58:04.360 long thick.

01:58:05.140 Yeah.

01:58:05.480 Yeah.

01:58:05.720 He really had fucking,

01:58:06.740 I don't know how he did it,

01:58:07.620 but he,

01:58:08.040 somebody,

01:58:08.660 he did it.

01:58:09.320 Mm-hmm.

01:58:09.660 And,

01:58:10.400 uh,

01:58:10.880 he was swinging it like a rope in the fucking park.

01:58:13.480 As you have to.

01:58:14.820 If you got a thing like that,

01:58:16.380 you gotta swing it.

01:58:17.340 That's true,

01:58:17.960 huh?

01:58:18.300 Yeah.

01:58:18.800 And it's also Germany.

01:58:19.840 They don't even care.

01:58:20.580 That's just an afternoon there.

01:58:21.760 Right.

01:58:21.960 We were shocked.

01:58:22.780 Other people were literally splitting up a,

01:58:25.320 um,

01:58:25.800 you know,

01:58:26.140 maybe a little,

01:58:27.100 uh,

01:58:27.460 cutting up a kiwi right next to it and having like a little lunch.

01:58:30.340 Yeah.

01:58:30.820 It's fine.

01:58:31.340 That's just an afternoon for them.

01:58:32.820 Yeah.

01:58:33.500 Just a German afternoon,

01:58:35.040 brother.

01:58:36.140 Sprech the Deutsch.

01:58:38.260 Wiedersehen.

01:58:39.640 Auf Wiedersehen.

01:58:40.460 Adam Devine.

01:58:41.160 Thank you,

01:58:41.520 brother.

01:58:41.980 Thanks,

01:58:42.300 Dale.

01:58:42.540 Good to see you,

01:58:43.000 dude.

01:58:43.080 You too,

01:58:43.340 man.

01:58:43.620 Hell yeah.

01:58:43.980 Now I'm just floating on the breeze,

01:58:47.160 and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be.

01:58:51.900 I'm a cornerstone.

01:58:55.360 Oh,

01:58:56.160 but when I reach that ground,

01:58:58.080 I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:59:00.880 I can feel it in my bones,

01:59:04.380 but it's gonna take.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 05, 2023

E451 Adam Devine

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