This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E499 Celeste Barber

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00:00:30.000 Today's episode was filmed when I was down in the Australia,

00:00:33.760 and she's probably one of the biggest comedians in Australia. 1.00

00:00:39.680 She's well-known for her viral clips online. 1.00

00:00:44.240 She's hilarious.

00:00:45.400 Her Netflix show, Well Mania, and she's currently touring the U.S. right now.

00:00:50.340 Today's guest is Celeste Barber.

00:00:52.800 Shine that light on me

00:00:56.400 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:01:02.160 Shine on me

00:01:07.160 And I will find a song

00:01:11.400 I'll be singing

00:01:12.580 11 minutes ago, my Australia, New Zealand tour went on sale.

00:01:27.300 No way.

00:01:28.260 So I'm just being a little bit obnoxious for 30 seconds.

00:01:31.300 You want to check the stats?

00:01:32.340 To make sure, know that it has uploaded because Instagram has become really needy.

00:01:36.660 I don't know if you've noticed.

00:01:38.100 Yeah.

00:01:38.420 When you post, you've got to keep the app open for it to upload.

00:01:43.540 Yeah.

00:01:43.780 You can't just post and then walk away, Renee.

00:01:45.460 Yeah.

00:01:46.020 And it does its thing.

00:01:46.820 It's like, it's needy.

00:01:47.940 So let's make sure that it's up.

00:01:49.460 Well, I'm just going to sit there with a video of myself playing while I sit with you and talk about myself.

00:01:54.420 It's kind of the world we're in.

00:01:57.540 It's like you will see somebody editing a photo of themselves and writing in their diary at the same time, you know?

00:02:04.020 Yeah.

00:02:04.740 Yeah, exactly.

00:02:05.700 It's really bizarre. 0.72

00:02:06.980 I always say that to people when they're about like press and stuff like, oh, you know, the press are running shit on me. 0.99

00:02:13.460 They're running shit on me. 0.97

00:02:14.260 And I'm like, I haven't I haven't seen it. 1.00

00:02:15.860 You're in a fucking vortex of yourself. 1.00

00:02:17.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:18.020 And like, oh, no, it's everywhere.

00:02:19.460 And I'm like, turn Google alerts off on yourself.

00:02:23.220 Turn them off. 0.99

00:02:23.860 You don't need to get Google alerts about yourself every fucking 10 minutes. 0.98

00:02:27.140 You pull this in. 0.99

00:02:28.580 Do you care if we start or no?

00:02:29.700 No, I don't care at all.

00:02:30.660 Sorry, I'm doing great.

00:02:31.620 I also have been in a hotel for four nights, which buckles my voice.

00:02:35.700 So I sound like a creepy person, teenager.

00:02:38.500 Why do you think the air in there is bad or something?

00:02:40.820 Yeah.

00:02:41.140 The rooms are so expensive.

00:02:42.260 Maybe they put cheap air in the room.

00:02:44.340 Well, yeah.

00:02:44.820 And just I need natural air.

00:02:46.260 But when, you know, hotels are fancy, they don't.

00:02:49.620 Well, some of them are so expensive, dude.

00:02:51.780 I've been in ones where it's like, it's so you're like, I'm not even going to sleep.

00:02:56.900 If I even blink my eyes, it's going to cost me 30 bucks.

00:03:00.180 Oh, absolutely.

00:03:00.900 I stayed.

00:03:01.460 Yeah.

00:03:02.020 I remember the first night I stayed in like a really fancy place.

00:03:04.740 I stayed up all night.

00:03:05.620 I was like, I'm not going to waste the money.

00:03:08.020 You're going to get paid to sleep.

00:03:09.700 They're going to charge you to go to sleep.

00:03:11.300 Well, I'm not.

00:03:11.700 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:11.940 I came here to fucking use this place, you know? 0.98

00:03:14.420 But also. 0.99

00:03:14.820 I even, I think I remember, I read one of the books or something.

00:03:20.020 In the hotel.

00:03:20.460 I started reading like a couple chats.

00:03:22.100 Just to get your money, you know, it's like.

00:03:23.560 Your money's worth.

00:03:24.780 Yeah.

00:03:25.320 You want to get your money's worth.

00:03:26.400 I left the water going for a couple hours, I remember.

00:03:29.420 Do you travel with anything specifically?

00:03:31.980 No, just usually a little bit of hairspray, I guess.

00:03:34.640 But.

00:03:34.860 Yeah, just a bit.

00:03:35.480 Um, what else do I like to have in my room?

00:03:38.460 Water.

00:03:39.780 Oh, Powerade or Gatorade.

00:03:43.740 Butter, a couple of butterscotches.

00:03:45.960 What else do you like?

00:03:47.380 Well, when I travel, like in a hotel, I have to take my pillow.

00:03:50.480 I've got to take my pillow with me.

00:03:51.760 Yeah.

00:03:52.120 I've become that girl.

00:03:53.420 But even with water now, I love it.

00:03:56.380 In the hotel I was just in, had some, a couple of bottles of water and it said complimentary. 0.99

00:04:01.200 It's like, yeah, no shit. 1.00

00:04:02.440 It's fucking water. 1.00

00:04:03.740 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:04.100 But they're like, just pointing out this bit, complimentary.

00:04:08.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:08.920 $5,000 a fucking night to stay here. 0.99

00:04:11.620 The least you can do, give me some complimentary water. 0.99

00:04:16.460 Yeah, it's so true.

00:04:17.520 And sometimes it'll say like $13 water.

00:04:20.180 That was the thing.

00:04:20.800 They'll have like the complimentary ones, like the little ones that. 0.99

00:04:23.560 That's like a thimble of fucking water. 0.98

00:04:26.040 And the little ones sometimes are even like warmer somehow. 0.99

00:04:29.100 It's like they, they want it to seem like maybe it's been already used once or something.

00:04:33.520 Yeah.

00:04:34.040 Yeah.

00:04:34.240 You're not that special.

00:04:35.380 Someone else has run this around their mouth, spat it back in.

00:04:39.000 And now you can have it for free.

00:04:41.300 Some Lord has been using this.

00:04:44.180 Seinfeld walked past this door.

00:04:46.020 Now you get to have free water.

00:04:48.240 And then they'll have the larger cool bottle next to it.

00:04:52.540 It'll say like still water or deceased water.

00:04:55.560 Deceased water.

00:04:56.260 And it's always in a sexy bottle. 0.99

00:04:58.100 It's like, well, I don't want that shitty water. 0.90

00:04:59.560 I want the sexy water. 0.95

00:05:00.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:01.500 And you have to remortgage your house to fucking pay for it. 0.98

00:05:04.320 But is this free water? 0.99

00:05:08.320 Yeah.

00:05:08.600 Yeah.

00:05:08.720 That's free.

00:05:09.480 Thank you.

00:05:10.160 That's free.

00:05:10.660 We'll come in with a nicer one on a tray in a little bit.

00:05:13.700 How much would that cost me?

00:05:14.940 Dude, you know what's interesting about Celeste Baba? 0.82

00:05:19.140 Sure.

00:05:20.340 Nice to see you.

00:05:22.540 Wow.

00:05:23.040 You drink kind of like a...

00:05:24.860 Careful.

00:05:26.180 Sorry.

00:05:26.800 Sorry.

00:05:28.460 Beautiful, talented woman. 0.51

00:05:29.660 Thank you so much.

00:05:30.260 Also, happy International Women's Day.

00:05:32.680 Is it today? 0.99

00:05:33.660 What do you fucking mean? 0.99

00:05:35.680 Oh. 1.00

00:05:36.900 What do you mean?

00:05:38.380 I knew it was this year.

00:05:40.520 Yeah.

00:05:40.740 Once a year we get it.

00:05:42.140 We're allowed to be ladies once a year. 0.99

00:05:43.840 I'm so excited.

00:05:44.980 Yeah.

00:05:45.420 Are you celebrating?

00:05:47.920 Here.

00:05:48.420 This is it.

00:05:48.960 Oh, that's awesome.

00:05:49.960 Yeah.

00:05:50.700 Educating you.

00:05:51.940 This is international.

00:05:52.640 Yes, it is.

00:05:53.440 Yeah.

00:05:53.660 And I'm excited to learn about women and Australian women.

00:05:57.300 Yeah.

00:05:57.660 Yeah.

00:05:57.740 Because we've been here for a couple of weeks.

00:05:58.900 One thing that's interesting, you guys call it a toilet that I think is really...

00:06:03.280 What do you call it?

00:06:04.020 It's the bathroom, right?

00:06:05.520 Oh, yes.

00:06:06.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:07.040 Toilet is way more accurate, I was realizing.

00:06:09.140 Because, yeah, nobody like bathes in there.

00:06:11.060 You don't ever go in there.

00:06:12.520 No.

00:06:12.860 And there's somebody like, you know...

00:06:13.940 Yeah, right.

00:06:14.720 You mean like at a restaurant.

00:06:15.860 Singing in the rain.

00:06:17.320 Yeah.

00:06:17.340 Jim Kelly's just sitting in there singing.

00:06:20.060 Yeah, right.

00:06:20.260 You ever walk in there and there's an Indian guy just like, do you want some bubble bath? 1.00

00:06:25.180 You know?

00:06:25.980 So, toilet is way more accurate.

00:06:28.660 I really appreciate that.

00:06:29.880 I appreciate the accuracy of things here.

00:06:31.780 Actually, that is...

00:06:32.920 Yeah, that's true.

00:06:33.600 When I'm in the States, I have been, you know, in a restaurant or whatever.

00:06:36.240 And I'm like, hi, whereabouts is your toilet?

00:06:38.380 Or I say, have you guys got a toilet?

00:06:39.860 And they're like, yes.

00:06:42.820 Like, I'm like, where is it?

00:06:44.560 And they're like, oh, the restroom is over there. 0.98

00:06:46.320 I'm like, oh, right.

00:06:47.540 They're like, why are you being so specific?

00:06:49.560 But even restroom is over.

00:06:51.300 It's like, if you walked in there and somebody was sleeping, just Goldilocks in there under

00:06:57.000 the sinks or whatever, you would be so locked.

00:06:59.380 Just full of people with narcolepsy, just chilling out in there.

00:07:02.980 Like at the koala park?

00:07:04.540 Yes.

00:07:05.120 Have you done the whole koala park thing?

00:07:07.240 We went there.

00:07:08.000 A lot of them look, I want to say kind of semi-Korean, I want to say a little bit. 0.99

00:07:14.920 They're beautiful animals.

00:07:16.520 A lot of them are definitely unemployed, it looked like, if you go in the one area where 0.99

00:07:23.240 they're all just sleeping in the fucking branches or whatever. 0.99

00:07:26.040 Yeah. 0.99

00:07:26.420 Did you touch one?

00:07:27.860 No, I didn't touch one.

00:07:29.220 Where did you see them?

00:07:29.980 Where did you go?

00:07:30.900 We went to the Brisbane Forest Hills, not a cemetery, what's it called?

00:07:40.420 Sanctuary.

00:07:41.100 Like a-

00:07:41.600 Sanctuary.

00:07:42.280 No, it's not a cemetery.

00:07:43.920 Yeah, sanctuary.

00:07:45.260 Yeah, right.

00:07:45.860 Way weird. 0.97

00:07:46.560 See, that'd be fucking weird. 0.95

00:07:48.920 It's just a Ouija board and they're like, we promised you're petting it. 0.96

00:07:52.160 Yeah, and koalas are now endangered species in Australia after the hideous bushfires we

00:07:56.880 had.

00:07:57.200 Yeah.

00:07:57.480 So when you said that, I was like, oh God, that's heartbreaking.

00:08:01.460 They're my favorite animal. 0.99

00:08:02.540 They're the fucking best. 1.00

00:08:02.720 Are you serious? 0.98

00:08:03.400 I know that's really cliched, but a few years ago I got to hold one and it was just, it

00:08:09.920 was unbelievable. 0.96

00:08:11.060 Her name was Lucy and I fucking fell in love with her. 1.00

00:08:14.100 They're really heavy and really dense. 0.98

00:08:17.000 So they kind of cling.

00:08:18.080 But then they turn, like really, they can kind of turn.

00:08:22.020 They've got, they're really horny. 1.00

00:08:24.660 Oh, they're really?

00:08:25.160 Yeah.

00:08:25.360 When they're on heat, they were chasing after my husband.

00:08:28.900 Oh yeah, like the Irish. 1.00

00:08:30.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:30.100 And I'm like, bitch, back off. 1.00

00:08:31.380 Yeah, exactly like the Irish. 1.00

00:08:33.160 Oh, the Irish are the only humans that I feel like get in the heat and they just can't 1.00

00:08:36.320 handle it, you know? 0.99

00:08:37.180 You'll see them rubbing up against a damn hydrant in the street. 0.98

00:08:40.040 Where have you been in Ireland? 0.99

00:08:41.280 Huh?

00:08:41.640 Where have you been?

00:08:42.100 Oh, Irish are everywhere.

00:08:43.800 Yeah, they'll pop up anywhere.

00:08:44.860 But on the internet, they have a lot of videos of Irish hydrant action or whatever.

00:08:49.280 Um, I have not seen a lot of that.

00:08:52.780 Now at the, at the park we went to, they had, they, there was an instance, there's a lot

00:08:58.020 of kangaroos, right?

00:08:59.060 There's, and a lot of them are, I don't want to say opiates have hit the area or whatever,

00:09:03.580 but there's a lot of them that are resting a lot, right?

00:09:05.980 Just lounging.

00:09:07.960 But that's what you want.

00:09:09.400 You don't want to be near them when they're not chilled. 0.99

00:09:11.380 They'll knock you the fuck out. 0.98

00:09:13.440 Like they're incredible. 0.98

00:09:14.760 So you want to be around the ones that are chilled in the restroom.

00:09:17.900 Okay.

00:09:18.140 Yeah.

00:09:18.480 And then there was one that got up.

00:09:23.080 I don't know if he wanted a midnight snack or what.

00:09:25.580 Yeah.

00:09:25.920 He was like waiting to meet the dealer.

00:09:28.000 It felt like, like he was, he was huge.

00:09:31.660 He had a watch on, which I thought was kind of crazy.

00:09:34.660 Couple of chains.

00:09:36.620 He had a whoop bracelet on.

00:09:38.900 Um, his tail had a, uh, it was like diamond encrusted.

00:09:42.460 Like he was like the final boss.

00:09:44.920 It felt like. 0.99

00:09:45.420 Just like called everyone bitch. 1.00

00:09:46.520 He was that guy. 0.99

00:09:47.540 I know that guy.

00:09:48.080 Oh, he called me a at one point.

00:09:50.660 I was like, we'll bleep that out, but he did.

00:09:55.060 Okay.

00:09:56.180 Um, I felt horrible.

00:09:58.020 I was like, Jesus, is this, what does he know about me that I don't know?

00:10:01.220 You know?

00:10:01.560 Yeah.

00:10:01.740 I don't have a wife, but come on guy.

00:10:03.400 Um, anyway.

00:10:06.220 Oh, being in Australia and nice to be in your country.

00:10:09.720 What other words are weird?

00:10:11.280 Restroom for you. 1.00

00:10:13.400 Restroom. 0.84

00:10:14.060 Uh, you guys, the, the audiences are more nonchalant here.

00:10:17.800 Yeah.

00:10:18.040 We kind of don't care.

00:10:18.940 Yeah.

00:10:19.360 Yeah.

00:10:19.600 It's interesting.

00:10:20.980 Like you'll come out on stage and they, they, maybe a couple people get up, you know?

00:10:26.820 Yeah.

00:10:27.820 It's so different in America.

00:10:29.600 I've noticed that when I'm over there on stage, it's the first, I reckon five, seven

00:10:34.880 minutes. 0.97

00:10:35.300 I'm like, calm the fuck down, like sit down and then I can talk to you. 0.99

00:10:40.400 It's just, it's bananas. 1.00

00:10:41.800 But here in Australia, kind of walk out and everyone's like, all right, bitch, prove it. 1.00

00:10:45.680 What do you got? 1.00

00:10:46.400 Oh, is that what they're thinking?

00:10:47.440 Yeah.

00:10:47.600 We have this thing, like a tall poppy syndrome in Australia where you get too big, we'll come, 0.89

00:10:53.860 we'll cut you down. 0.99

00:10:54.560 We'll bring you back down to earth. 1.00

00:10:55.980 Oh, like that Petraeus, like who was that runner, that guy who shot, killed his wife?

00:11:00.940 Was that here?

00:11:01.660 No, that is not us.

00:11:02.820 That is the story.

00:11:03.840 Oscar Petorius?

00:11:04.440 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:04.840 No, he was fucking horrible. 1.00

00:11:06.900 That was horrible. 1.00

00:11:07.580 That whole thing.

00:11:08.060 No, he's not Australian.

00:11:09.100 He's South African.

00:11:11.780 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:11:12.400 I fucking hope. 0.99

00:11:13.280 If he's not, don't run that because that's shit if I say that that guy's- 1.00

00:11:16.560 But he's South African? 0.99

00:11:17.140 Yeah.

00:11:17.620 Yeah.

00:11:18.100 They shot him a second.

00:11:19.440 He started getting fast.

00:11:20.940 Like, lift him.

00:11:22.400 You got to work for it here.

00:11:23.940 Oh, really?

00:11:24.620 Yeah.

00:11:24.780 Yeah.

00:11:25.040 That's fair.

00:11:25.920 Yeah, we don't-

00:11:27.200 Celebrity culture.

00:11:29.080 Where are we at?

00:11:30.160 Oscar Petorius granted parole after serving 10 years for the murder of Riva Steenkamp.

00:11:35.280 Wow. 0.98

00:11:36.620 10 years isn't fucking enough. 0.99

00:11:39.580 I agree. 0.99

00:11:41.120 Especially on International Women's Day. 0.99

00:11:43.580 Fucking hell. 1.00

00:11:45.300 South African- 1.00

00:11:46.120 Which is just one day, remember?

00:11:47.720 Just today.

00:11:48.380 Yeah.

00:11:48.720 Yeah.

00:11:48.860 And I vote, give them a couple days.

00:11:51.220 Yeah, right?

00:11:52.140 Even just like a day and a half. 1.00

00:11:53.600 Like, fuck off. 0.99

00:11:54.460 And they gave you, what is today, a Wednesday, Thursday? 1.00

00:11:57.100 It's Friday.

00:11:57.960 Oh, it is Friday?

00:11:59.020 Yeah.

00:11:59.480 But give the- 1.00

00:12:00.260 Hey, give these bitches a Saturday. 1.00

00:12:02.400 I know. 1.00

00:12:02.780 Imagine if you gave us a Sunday.

00:12:04.260 Oh.

00:12:04.480 No.

00:12:05.200 We need small steps, guys.

00:12:06.680 Small steps.

00:12:07.380 The peace.

00:12:07.980 Bring that back up.

00:12:09.960 South African Paralympian Oscar Petorius has been granted parole effective January 5th,

00:12:14.060 2024, after serving 10 years for the 2013 murder of his girlfriend, Riva Steenkamp,

00:12:19.160 known as the Blade Runner for his carbon fiber prosthetic legs.

00:12:23.620 He went from a public hero to a convicted killer.

00:12:27.140 Wow.

00:12:28.280 That would be so crazy getting out of jail. 0.99

00:12:31.300 Fucking hell. 0.99

00:12:32.520 That guy needs to go back in, huh? 0.99

00:12:34.160 2013.

00:12:35.040 I didn't know that was a-

00:12:35.760 Yeah, he needs to absolutely go back in.

00:12:37.440 The parole hearing took place at the Adderidge Correctional Center near the capital, Pretoria,

00:12:41.820 where Pistorius has served the majority of his sentence.

00:12:44.920 And what is he doing now?

00:12:45.920 Tell me he's not running again.

00:12:47.680 Is he just-

00:12:48.380 He's trying to shut down International Women's Day, that's for sure. 0.51

00:12:50.420 That's for damn sure he is, and I'm not going to let him.

00:12:53.040 No. 0.69

00:12:54.000 Ms. Steenkamp's parents gave an interview to a British newspaper in February for the 10th anniversary

00:12:57.540 of their daughter's death and said that they had not forgiven Pistorius.

00:13:00.180 No, me neither.

00:13:01.440 Yeah, me neither.

00:13:02.880 That guy seemed like he just was- 0.79

00:13:04.220 Gross.

00:13:05.120 Yeah. 0.99

00:13:05.620 Ew, go away. 0.90

00:13:06.280 Up to no good.

00:13:06.940 No.

00:13:07.380 God.

00:13:08.440 Anyway, I really shouldn't have talked about that. 0.74

00:13:11.700 Anyway, horny koalas. 0.88

00:13:14.600 You're going to the States, so you have a US tour. 0.90

00:13:17.080 Yeah, we have a US tour.

00:13:18.360 What does that feel like?

00:13:19.240 It's a lot going to another country and touring.

00:13:21.400 It is a lot.

00:13:22.180 I just find touring a lot.

00:13:23.660 I find the whole thing a lot.

00:13:25.260 It's a lot.

00:13:25.740 Yeah, but most of my audience is in the States, so, and most of the money's in the States.

00:13:31.080 Is it?

00:13:31.680 Yeah.

00:13:32.300 So I go and do that.

00:13:33.180 I go, my first show is May 2nd for Netflix is a joke in LA.

00:13:37.120 Oh, wow.

00:13:37.780 Opening night of the festival on stage at the same time as Seinfeld down the road.

00:13:43.120 Really?

00:13:43.420 So I reckon six people will be at my show.

00:13:45.300 I don't know.

00:13:46.200 Seinfeld's getting older.

00:13:47.360 It's like-

00:13:47.460 I'd go to Seinfeld.

00:13:48.400 Yeah.

00:13:48.780 That's a good point.

00:13:49.600 What if you're at Seinfeld?

00:13:50.900 Yeah.

00:13:51.160 Just put a sign up on stage.

00:13:52.740 Sorry.

00:13:53.460 Yeah.

00:13:54.160 A hundred meters down the road.

00:13:55.260 Oh, yeah.

00:13:55.320 He's a legend.

00:13:55.780 I think it just depends.

00:13:56.720 Yeah.

00:13:56.880 There's just different.

00:13:57.580 There's so many different audiences now.

00:13:59.360 Right.

00:14:00.000 Yeah.

00:14:00.420 You know?

00:14:00.920 The internet, right?

00:14:01.500 It makes everything so much bigger and smaller.

00:14:03.980 Do you feel like, because a lot of your popularity came off the internet, right?

00:14:07.140 Like a lot of, same for me, right?

00:14:09.780 Like a lot of like, are people seeing me, right?

00:14:12.360 Because it's just getting eyeballs to see you.

00:14:15.960 So did you feel like you had to make that up when you get on the stage?

00:14:20.180 Because sometimes it's scary, I feel like, if you get the publicity before you are-

00:14:26.660 You got to back it up.

00:14:27.460 Right.

00:14:28.000 Yeah.

00:14:28.240 No, I absolutely felt that.

00:14:29.580 I kind of, I, it was really important to me that I bridged that gap because the internet

00:14:35.740 is free, right? 0.91

00:14:37.860 So, you know, you've got millions of followers, but it doesn't fucking cost them anything.

00:14:41.180 So how many followers do you, you know, how loyal are people? 0.86

00:14:45.360 People are like, I love you. 1.00

00:14:46.180 I love you because you're free, bitch. 1.00

00:14:47.440 And you're on my, in my hand when I'm on the toilet, I'm good. 0.99

00:14:50.520 But then I wanted to see how that translated and it translated very well, you know, sold

00:14:54.920 out shows.

00:14:55.940 But I, I really wanted to prove my stripes because I trained as an actor.

00:15:00.280 That was always my thing. 0.98

00:15:01.180 But I started the Instagram stuff because I couldn't get a fucking job. 0.99

00:15:04.560 Yeah. 0.94

00:15:04.840 So I did that and then, you know, it blew up and I, I didn't want to just, yeah, like

00:15:10.740 you say, just kind of be on stage and people be like, oh, you're better here.

00:15:14.540 So I wanted to make sure that it translates well.

00:15:17.600 It's so funny you say that.

00:15:18.700 There's something scary in a way, I thought about this, about people coming to see you

00:15:24.480 live because you're like, if they already like me, then all I'm doing is risking them

00:15:31.600 not liking me.

00:15:32.860 Yeah, absolutely. 0.99

00:15:33.860 And it's fucking, there's something that's kind of like harrowing about it. 0.98

00:15:37.560 Like there's, there's times where I'm like, gosh, I just, if they already like me, I'm, 0.99

00:15:44.400 maybe we're good.

00:15:45.360 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:45.540 Like what the fuck am I doing? 0.99

00:15:46.760 Why am I? 0.99

00:15:47.280 Yeah.

00:15:47.520 It's like, well, they like me and now I'm going to do a tour to see if they really like

00:15:53.160 me. 0.99

00:15:53.380 So that's fucking masochistic. 1.00

00:15:54.600 Like, what is that? 1.00

00:15:55.340 It's like, prove it, prove it that you like me.

00:15:58.340 Yeah.

00:15:59.120 You know, cause of the parodies and stuff I do on Instagram at first, people are like, are you

00:16:02.540 just going to kind of come on stage and then just like change into different costumes?

00:16:06.560 So I thought, you know, it's that tricky thing of going, well, do I give an already

00:16:12.360 excellent, strong audience more of what I've already given them and what it seems like they

00:16:18.540 want?

00:16:18.820 Or do I give them what I think would be a better show?

00:16:21.980 So, you know.

00:16:23.480 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:23.780 I was like, what the fuck do you do there? 0.99

00:16:25.520 I know. 0.99

00:16:25.980 It's scary.

00:16:26.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:27.600 And then you just keep fucking going out and doing it. 0.99

00:16:30.140 And again, you know, you sell a show, you sell a tour, it goes really well. 0.99

00:16:34.700 And you're like, oh, cool.

00:16:35.700 They do like me, but it's not enough. 0.99

00:16:38.120 So now I'm doing another fucking tour. 0.99

00:16:40.060 And now I'm panicking about that. 0.99

00:16:41.360 Like, what is that that we do?

00:16:42.640 It's so masochistic.

00:16:44.420 Just stop.

00:16:45.220 Just start selling water.

00:16:48.300 Yeah.

00:16:49.020 Yeah.

00:16:49.440 Make money that way.

00:16:51.080 Stop making things hard for yourself, Celeste.

00:16:52.800 Yeah.

00:16:53.480 Stop making things hard for yourself.

00:16:55.320 Yeah.

00:16:55.700 I wonder.

00:16:56.280 There's definitely a, I have this thing, like, I want to make sure that I get to see every,

00:17:00.720 like, I'll go to all the more, like, I'll try and go perform at all the markets.

00:17:05.360 Like some people will go to the big city.

00:17:07.280 I'll go to like, as like, I mean, I can't, you can't go to like towns really, but there's

00:17:13.520 like fantasy in my head where I'm just on a bus, like, and we just set up a tent and

00:17:17.940 we do the show in a town.

00:17:19.060 I'm just like, I just want to get every, I want to, yeah, I want to interact with everybody.

00:17:24.800 You want to reach everybody.

00:17:26.140 But the weird thing is we do on our phones.

00:17:29.280 I know. 0.88

00:17:29.540 I guess it's so ridiculous. 0.97

00:17:30.800 It's like. 0.94

00:17:31.140 But I have, yeah, I think I have this romantic version, this old school version, you know?

00:17:34.700 Yeah, absolutely.

00:17:35.940 That I romanticize sometimes.

00:17:37.900 Have you done a tour bus?

00:17:39.380 Do you do tour buses?

00:17:40.320 Yeah, I've done a tour bus.

00:17:41.320 Oh, we've tried everything.

00:17:42.380 We tried the motorcycle with the little thing on the side of it. 0.99

00:17:46.120 Fucking hell. 0.98

00:17:46.760 Oh, we tried that. 0.99

00:17:47.680 And I was like sitting there just holding a box of like t-shirts for merch.

00:17:50.780 Yeah.

00:17:51.180 Some caps.

00:17:52.140 Yeah.

00:17:52.600 We tried the camper van, like a family camper, you know, that you rent.

00:17:56.620 It's like $19 a day.

00:17:58.340 And it's basically just like a cage.

00:18:00.120 Oh yeah.

00:18:00.320 And they don't go up hills.

00:18:01.560 Yeah. 0.97

00:18:01.880 You got to jump out and kind of fucking push it up. 0.98

00:18:03.600 Oh yeah. 0.96

00:18:03.720 There's nothing in there.

00:18:04.840 It's like an anytime fitness, basically.

00:18:06.640 Yeah.

00:18:07.100 It's like an anytime fitness on wheels.

00:18:09.400 There's like two kettlebells in there. 0.99

00:18:10.660 And then there's just some like fucking- 0.99

00:18:12.500 And Chevy Chase just sitting in the front. 0.99

00:18:14.280 Yeah.

00:18:15.340 And some dangerous man complaining that the water fountain's broken.

00:18:19.200 Yeah.

00:18:19.440 You know?

00:18:19.880 How many people do you tour around with?

00:18:22.640 My tour manager, Tim, and then two comedians, usually.

00:18:27.400 Yeah.

00:18:27.920 Keep it.

00:18:28.280 So it's a pretty small group.

00:18:29.120 But then if you get a production, like if you start to go into places where you have

00:18:32.280 to bring production and then you have to bring like, then there's other people that

00:18:36.160 come, but they are more of like the production side, maybe.

00:18:39.700 But it's pretty interesting.

00:18:41.720 It's pretty interesting to just see it and learn.

00:18:44.240 Yeah.

00:18:45.400 It's kind of scary though, some of the responsibility.

00:18:48.420 I think just with touring, it's like once you're like, okay, I'm really going to go do

00:18:53.040 this.

00:18:53.260 Yeah.

00:18:53.500 I'm this guy now.

00:18:54.540 Yeah.

00:18:54.800 Yes.

00:18:55.240 Yeah.

00:18:55.700 And it's supposed to be fun. 0.98

00:18:57.520 We did a tour bus, 2018, massive fucking tour bus. 0.98

00:19:01.380 It had 12 bunks in it. 0.98

00:19:03.960 Oh yeah. 0.96

00:19:04.460 Had a fucking massive bedroom out the back and it was me and my best friend slash tour 0.98

00:19:08.660 manager. 0.99

00:19:09.400 And it was like a Janet Jackson backup dancer fucking bus. 1.00

00:19:12.480 And we just ran amok on it. 1.00

00:19:14.540 It was so fun.

00:19:15.740 Wow.

00:19:16.300 Yeah.

00:19:16.440 And you went all across Australia?

00:19:17.760 No, all around America.

00:19:18.760 No.

00:19:19.100 We don't do tour buses here because it's too big.

00:19:21.960 The country's too big.

00:19:22.820 Yeah.

00:19:23.240 No, we did it all through America. 1.00

00:19:25.040 Fucking wicked. 1.00

00:19:26.200 I love tour bus. 1.00

00:19:27.720 Cost's a packet though.

00:19:29.220 Yeah.

00:19:29.900 It's expensive.

00:19:30.680 When I came out of a sold out world tour, I was like, have I broken even? 0.99

00:19:33.480 And my manager's like, that fucking bus that you wanted. 1.00

00:19:36.840 That bus, you idiot. 1.00

00:19:38.080 But otherwise you're like walking or you're on a donkey. 1.00

00:19:41.560 Yeah. 0.98

00:19:42.040 Donkeys. 0.99

00:19:42.620 Lots of donkeys. 0.94

00:19:43.540 The last tour I did, 2022, I did 80 shows in three months.

00:19:49.940 Wow. 1.00

00:19:50.400 Like a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:19:51.820 Oh. 1.00

00:19:52.400 Like a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:19:53.280 And we were just planes. 1.00

00:19:55.440 So we were just, it was travel day.

00:19:57.640 It was a show day, travel day.

00:19:58.800 Like averaged about 16 hours in every place.

00:20:01.180 It's so hard. 1.00

00:20:02.080 It's shit. 1.00

00:20:03.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:03.800 Yeah.

00:20:04.100 And you forget how much I need creature comforts. 0.98

00:20:08.040 Like get to a point where you're like, why am I still navigating how fucking doors work? 0.94

00:20:12.700 Because you're in a different place every time. 0.93

00:20:14.380 So some doors are pushed, some do you run into it.

00:20:16.160 Like it's so, so discombobulating.

00:20:18.600 Well, you'd think the government, right? 0.99

00:20:20.420 Would get their shit together. 0.98

00:20:21.100 And I don't want to say anything NATO or whoever the group, you know. 0.99

00:20:24.340 Sure.

00:20:25.620 NAACP. 0.99

00:20:26.100 I don't know who does it, but whoever fucking make one door. 0.99

00:20:32.200 Right? 0.98

00:20:32.940 How fucking hard is it? 0.96

00:20:34.740 Outlaw some of those, like, some of those hinges are kind of, I don't want to say, I don't know what they are. 0.99

00:20:41.880 They're just, they're bisexual, I think. 1.00

00:20:44.860 Okay, I was going to say they're shit. 1.00

00:20:46.740 Okay, well, I just mean, some of them are willing to do anything. 1.00

00:20:50.200 Right. 1.00

00:20:51.140 Yeah, and they're also super shit. 1.00

00:20:52.640 I know, we need, on International Women's Day, let's get some fucking women making doors. 1.00

00:20:56.140 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:56.560 I reckon.

00:20:57.120 They'll swing when we need them to swing.

00:20:58.680 Yeah, I like that. 1.00

00:20:59.920 Yeah, we need some fucking women's doors, huh? 1.00

00:21:03.520 We need doors for women only. 1.00

00:21:08.000 Women's fucking doors. 1.00

00:21:09.280 It's about time. 1.00

00:21:10.020 So, in America, there's a lot of women that will say that there's, like, a male glass ceiling on comedy and stuff. 1.00

00:21:16.380 Do you hear that here or no?

00:21:17.440 Do you feel like it's just.

00:21:18.980 Oh, a glass ceiling.

00:21:19.720 Yeah, absolutely.

00:21:20.840 Not a male.

00:21:21.560 Oh, what?

00:21:22.120 Or just a glass ceiling.

00:21:23.320 But nobody says that the glass ceiling is made out of men.

00:21:25.700 You know what I'm saying?

00:21:26.260 No, we know that, though.

00:21:27.640 Right.

00:21:27.860 We know that.

00:21:28.580 Yeah.

00:21:28.860 Because it's, yeah, it's been made by men. 0.98

00:21:30.620 Good luck.

00:21:31.200 Well done with that, though.

00:21:32.400 All those glass ceilings are made by the same person. 1.00

00:21:35.120 They should get into the fucking doors. 0.98

00:21:37.220 Does it feel like that in the, like, in the Australia comedy scene, I guess? 1.00

00:21:40.040 Because I don't know the scene that much.

00:21:41.260 I have some friends here who are comedians.

00:21:43.640 But knowing the scene is totally different, you know?

00:21:47.000 Yeah.

00:21:47.500 Look, I started as an actor.

00:21:50.880 I've always been funny, but I'm not like a comedian that's been gigging for 25 years.

00:21:55.960 You know what I mean?

00:21:56.280 Doing the 3 a.m. slot and all that sort of stuff.

00:21:58.780 So, I kind of came up before acting.

00:22:01.060 Oh, so it's kind of a different avenue.

00:22:02.280 And Australia's really different to the States.

00:22:04.840 Like, we don't have comedy clubs on every corner.

00:22:08.020 We have a handful of clubs.

00:22:09.480 We have, like, open mic nights at pubs or bars.

00:22:13.160 But it's nowhere near as big as it is in the States.

00:22:17.460 I did notice that when I got to America, I went into a comedy club there.

00:22:23.420 And I walked into the dressing room a few years ago and I was like,

00:22:27.780 do you reckon we could take that massive life-size photo of Bill Cosby down?

00:22:31.220 Is that cool?

00:22:32.280 And they were like, yeah, we can't.

00:22:34.500 It's kind of, like, drilled in. 0.98

00:22:36.700 And I fucking ripped it off the wall and shoved it behind the toilet. 1.00

00:22:39.840 It's like, fuck it. 1.00

00:22:40.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:41.320 Yeah.

00:22:41.840 Haven't been asked back there.

00:22:43.000 It's fine.

00:22:44.080 Some of them, they don't want you to see it.

00:22:45.320 Some of them, they're just, they're lost, I'll say.

00:22:47.780 Yeah.

00:22:48.640 They're obviously into a different type of entertainer.

00:22:51.500 And I play theatres now, so it's fine.

00:22:53.000 And he's obviously a hypnotist.

00:22:54.980 Yeah.

00:22:55.660 That's, yeah.

00:22:56.480 Misunderstood, I think they say.

00:22:58.200 Bill Cosby.

00:22:59.080 What if he just said, what if that had been his, what if that had been his defense in court?

00:23:03.320 I'm just, oh, guys. 0.98

00:23:04.340 Fucking hell. 0.99

00:23:04.840 I'm just a really bad hypnotist. 1.00

00:23:07.100 Fucking hell. 1.00

00:23:08.360 So crazy. 1.00

00:23:09.520 Has he died?

00:23:10.780 I don't think.

00:23:11.380 He just went back out on tour, I think.

00:23:12.820 No, he didn't.

00:23:13.740 I think Nick Swartzen's touring with him.

00:23:15.180 On International Women's Day, he's just jumped back out on tour, so what's just happened? 0.98

00:23:19.680 Are you telling me that his fucking tour went on sale the same day mine did? 0.99

00:23:22.800 What? 1.00

00:23:23.060 On International Women's Day. 1.00

00:23:25.860 Fuck you, Cosby. 1.00

00:23:26.580 So people, but people can go see you. 1.00

00:23:28.340 So all your, just your Australia, New Zealand tour went on.

00:23:31.720 But America's on sale.

00:23:33.020 Yeah.

00:23:33.360 So I'm in America May, June.

00:23:36.040 And you start with the Netflix Festival. 0.95

00:23:37.660 Netflix Festival, and then Phoenix, and over to Washington, and then fuck around for a bit. 0.83

00:23:42.800 But it's tricky because I'm based here. 0.88

00:23:45.920 I've got a family here.

00:23:46.760 I've got a life here.

00:23:47.860 So I'm trying, this will be the fourth time I've done a world tour, and I'm still trying

00:23:54.420 to figure out the best way to do it.

00:23:57.120 I don't know, like the last one I did, I was saying, you know, I did a heap of shows 0.97

00:24:00.560 because I was like, just cram the fuckers in so I can just go, get it all done, and then 0.98

00:24:06.120 get home. 0.99

00:24:06.960 But that was too, it's like still six or so weeks without seeing my kids.

00:24:10.920 And I just finished filming a show down here.

00:24:14.960 I don't live in Sydney.

00:24:15.800 I live north.

00:24:16.760 So I was away from them.

00:24:17.860 They had three days to build the show and then take it on.

00:24:20.020 So that was all bananas.

00:24:21.660 So this time I'm trying to do like a couple of weeks, and then we're going to have a week

00:24:26.740 off.

00:24:27.160 So the family will come over, we'll hang out in Mexico, and then I'll go back out for

00:24:30.880 like three weeks.

00:24:31.960 But it's just, it's hard to kind of navigate that.

00:24:35.500 It's hard.

00:24:36.100 Being like a mom and all that, but living on the other side of the world is really,

00:24:41.140 it's hard because most of my audience is in America.

00:24:43.980 Yeah.

00:24:44.360 I mean, my only child is my own depression usually, and I've just, that's.

00:24:47.860 I've got her as well.

00:24:48.960 Don't worry. 0.99

00:24:50.460 But it's like outside of that little motherfucker, I don't have to, you know, everything's 0.99

00:24:54.600 pretty like, I can't even imagine with a family. 1.00

00:24:57.420 And that cunt goes with you everywhere as well. 1.00

00:24:59.960 You can't even leave her at home if you want to go out on the road. 1.00

00:25:02.760 So how many children do you have?

00:25:04.460 I have two that came out of me, but I also have two stepdaughters that I've had for 20

00:25:09.400 years.

00:25:10.040 Yeah.

00:25:10.080 Like in Cinderella, are those stepdaughters? 1.00

00:25:11.780 I am.

00:25:11.880 I'm Cinderella.

00:25:12.640 I am.

00:25:13.260 Yeah.

00:25:13.700 I'm Cinderella.

00:25:14.780 Of course.

00:25:15.620 I've had the girls since they were two and four.

00:25:17.160 They're now 21 and 23.

00:25:20.040 Okay.

00:25:20.540 So they're not at the house like asking for sandwiches and all. 0.99

00:25:23.500 Oh, fuck no. 0.99

00:25:24.520 When the eldest, Kaya, turned 18, I kicked the door in. 1.00

00:25:30.460 Yeah.

00:25:30.940 Happy birthday.

00:25:31.700 Thanks, I went.

00:25:32.340 Yeah.

00:25:32.960 Get out.

00:25:33.860 Yeah.

00:25:34.060 So what do you mean?

00:25:34.480 I went, consider yourself raised. 1.00

00:25:36.520 Get the fuck out. 1.00

00:25:37.700 Out. 1.00

00:25:38.180 I love you.

00:25:38.740 Out.

00:25:39.080 And she was like, happy to.

00:25:40.480 Like, yeah, get out.

00:25:41.980 I'm done.

00:25:42.700 I'm going to open this women's door for you. 1.00

00:25:44.660 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:45.380 Watch.

00:25:45.620 It goes both ways.

00:25:46.940 Look at that.

00:25:49.260 Yeah.

00:25:49.760 So, but now you have new offspring.

00:25:52.020 Yeah.

00:25:52.440 I've got two little dudes. 0.99

00:25:53.820 I've got a nine-year-old who turns 10 on Monday and a 12-year-old, two boys.

00:25:58.960 And do they think it's interesting that you're this funny lady?

00:26:01.380 Like, what is their concept of their mother as a comedian?

00:26:03.600 Do they have that?

00:26:04.660 Do they have a concept of it or?

00:26:05.900 I think they say, no, not.

00:26:08.140 Well, I think they see it as my job. 0.97

00:26:11.000 I will say, though, that my 12-year-old, my kids are really fucking funny, too. 0.98

00:26:18.140 Like, I don't think anything's funny and I think they're fucking funny. 0.98

00:26:21.700 Oh, yeah. 0.83

00:26:22.500 It's really cool.

00:26:23.700 So now that, you know, he's 12, he's kind of getting it a bit more.

00:26:29.120 He'll, like, I'll say something to my husband and he'll overhear and he'll be like, oh, mom. 0.99

00:26:32.940 I'm like, yeah, bitch, welcome. 0.99

00:26:34.420 Like, I'm a massive deal. 1.00

00:26:36.280 Get on board.

00:26:37.220 It's great.

00:26:38.800 Yeah.

00:26:39.440 So, yeah, they kind of.

00:26:40.920 It must be cool if your kid starts entertaining you kind of low-key.

00:26:45.720 That must be pretty freaking interesting because then it's like, oh, I made that.

00:26:49.940 Absolutely.

00:26:51.200 Yeah. 0.93

00:26:51.500 But then when they're really annoying, I'm like, oh, I fucking did that, too. 0.92

00:26:53.900 Oh, yeah.

00:26:54.480 Like, I see, you know, a lot of myself, obviously, in them and I'm like, yeah, that's going to be tricky for you, mate.

00:27:01.520 I went through that.

00:27:02.400 That's going to be hard for you.

00:27:04.140 Oh.

00:27:04.540 That awkward.

00:27:05.800 Yeah, that's crazy.

00:27:06.960 Oh, growing up is so awkward.

00:27:08.780 Like, do you remember whenever you got breasts or whatever?

00:27:11.060 Like.

00:27:11.500 Always had them.

00:27:12.660 I was born with them.

00:27:13.520 Were you really? 0.99

00:27:14.320 Yeah, I was a baby with tits. 1.00

00:27:16.020 Wow. 0.99

00:27:16.420 It feels like it.

00:27:17.820 Hold on. 0.99

00:27:18.480 Some politician will fucking bid on you. 1.00

00:27:22.400 Okay. 1.00

00:27:22.760 Wow, that's crazy.

00:27:24.160 Yeah, and he's about to hit puberty, my boy.

00:27:26.260 Nuh-uh.

00:27:27.020 Yeah, it's a thing.

00:27:27.500 And would you start to change the furniture around the house or anything?

00:27:30.420 Do you put up, like, a scratching post? 1.00

00:27:31.860 I come to Sydney for a month and I say to my husband, fucking sucked in. 1.00

00:27:35.320 Enjoy that. 1.00

00:27:36.200 Or I ask him a lot.

00:27:37.560 I'm like, he's been in the bathroom for ages.

00:27:40.040 Is this a thing?

00:27:40.740 And he's like, just chill.

00:27:42.680 It's fine.

00:27:44.300 He's peeing.

00:27:45.040 Yeah, he's actually peeing.

00:27:46.920 I'm like, I don't know if he is.

00:27:47.920 He's getting a really deep pee out.

00:27:50.160 Yeah.

00:27:50.400 Just walk past his bedroom.

00:27:52.780 You got to get him a scratching post or something, like one of those cat posts, you know?

00:27:57.040 Yeah, true. 0.97

00:27:57.900 I wish, yeah, a lot more parents should do stuff like that or get some breasts that you 1.00

00:28:02.800 nail onto the wall or something. 0.91

00:28:04.240 But isn't that what boys do?

00:28:06.680 Don't they just sort it out themselves? 0.99

00:28:08.140 In some tribes, the brother will teach the younger brother how to masturbate. 0.91

00:28:19.060 So it's like, doesn't seem like a shameful thing.

00:28:21.340 It seems like this is a way that things are done in our culture, you know?

00:28:25.700 Yeah, right.

00:28:26.520 Are those tribes also in Ireland?

00:28:28.340 I'm not sure if they could.

00:28:33.900 I don't know if it's a tort thing. 0.92

00:28:36.080 In all my experience, you boys just figure it the fuck out. 0.93

00:28:39.200 But you don't, though. 0.99

00:28:40.140 That's the problem.

00:28:40.900 You just go out into the woods or you go into like some corner.

00:28:44.320 Go out to the woods.

00:28:45.480 Or you hide in a hamper at a friend's house, you know?

00:28:49.100 In their mom's bathroom. 0.67

00:28:50.500 Oh, 100%.

00:28:52.320 We had this one kid, bro.

00:28:54.540 If you ever needed him, he was in my one buddy.

00:28:58.180 Had a hot mom.

00:28:59.040 He was in their hamper all the time.

00:29:01.160 Oh, my God.

00:29:02.080 Crack it open, he'd be in there.

00:29:03.700 Oh, God. 1.00

00:29:05.420 You've got a fucked up mate. 1.00

00:29:07.660 Just making organic beverages, dude. 1.00

00:29:10.520 That guy was a real dirt ball.

00:29:12.600 And he still is, honestly. 0.95

00:29:13.680 I think he's buying bars.

00:29:14.700 I want to update everybody that we had a lawsuit from Kai the Hitchhiker.

00:29:23.780 You might be familiar.

00:29:25.940 And finally, it has taken seven months, but Morgan & Morgan helped get our case dismissed.

00:29:35.680 So thank you, Morgan & Morgan.

00:29:37.820 And that's what it is, Kai.

00:29:40.940 That's the law.

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00:32:00.340 I saw that the Just for Laughs festival, speaking of comedy festivals, was going out of business.

00:32:07.160 Did you ever go with that?

00:32:08.620 I did Montreal a couple of times.

00:32:10.400 You did?

00:32:10.620 Yeah.

00:32:11.280 Yeah, I only heard that the other day.

00:32:14.480 2024, Just for Laughs comedy festival canceled.

00:32:16.960 Company seeks credit or protection.

00:32:18.700 Wow.

00:32:19.220 Is that just in Montreal?

00:32:24.300 Because we have one in Australia.

00:32:26.300 We have in Sydney, JFL.

00:32:28.180 Has that been canceled?

00:32:29.200 Good question.

00:32:30.120 The Montreal company that operates the Just for Laughs comedy festival has canceled the 2024 edition of the event.

00:32:35.260 Wow.

00:32:35.480 So 2024 Montreal is canceled.

00:32:37.840 Which, when is, sorry, I'm learning things today.

00:32:42.040 When is it usually on?

00:32:43.160 I should know.

00:32:43.580 I've played it.

00:32:44.320 I believe it's in.

00:32:44.940 In like a few months, right?

00:32:46.260 So that's late to cancel.

00:32:48.500 Yeah. 0.99

00:32:48.700 Like, is everyone, fuck that. 1.00

00:32:50.900 They must have made, just realized it's not going to work. 0.96

00:32:52.940 A formal process under Canada's, um, has canceled the 2024 edition of the event after filing a notice of intention to make a proposal to creditors.

00:33:00.720 75 people were laid off Tuesday morning, according to a festival spokesperson who called the company's financial situation unsustainable.

00:33:08.400 Yeah.

00:33:08.660 Festivals are tricky.

00:33:09.560 The company cited lost revenues during the two years of the global pandemic and challenges facing the media industry, particularly reduced budgets at networks and streaming platforms as reasons for restructuring.

00:33:20.900 And, wow, it's kind of wild when things like that start to go away.

00:33:25.020 Um, but I think like things like Just for Laughs, they're not as much of a launching pad for entertainment anymore for, for comedians.

00:33:34.320 And that not, um, it's not a money making vehicle.

00:33:37.360 Like I don't, and I've always found it quite weird.

00:33:39.900 I don't really do festivals again.

00:33:42.440 Cause you know, I didn't come up through standup, but that idea of going, there's 300 shows on over four days.

00:33:49.660 Yes, too much.

00:33:50.400 In two, two streets, two blocks. 0.98

00:33:54.400 And each comedian's got to try and push their own fucking show up against that. 0.98

00:33:58.520 Like I didn't, I always found it kind of weird. 0.96

00:34:02.340 And I know so many of my mates do those festivals. 0.77

00:34:05.540 They're like, it's fucking impossible to sell, try and sell out even, you know, 300 seats.

00:34:11.300 It's impossible because my mates down the street, it's just, yeah, it's really hard. 0.95

00:34:15.400 It's like every venue in the world is selling tickets on the same night.

00:34:18.400 It almost does seem kind of ridiculous.

00:34:20.520 It's like, what if all your major sports teams played on the same night?

00:34:23.920 Exactly.

00:34:24.360 Well, they'd never do that with sport.

00:34:25.980 Yeah.

00:34:26.120 No, not sacred sport, but with the arts and comedy. 0.99

00:34:29.960 Fucking hell. 0.99

00:34:30.980 Figure it out, you weirdos. 1.00

00:34:32.300 We don't give a shit. 1.00

00:34:33.500 Sport. 0.99

00:34:35.520 We went to a Sydney Swans game yesterday.

00:34:38.800 Good.

00:34:39.260 Yeah.

00:34:39.600 Like it?

00:34:39.880 Yeah.

00:34:40.080 It was cool.

00:34:40.600 AFL.

00:34:41.320 Yeah.

00:34:41.900 AFL.

00:34:42.300 It's like soccer and rugby kind of a little bit.

00:34:46.200 It's, um.

00:34:47.680 Yeah.

00:34:49.040 Rugby union, do you mean?

00:34:50.600 Not rugby league.

00:34:51.720 I don't know.

00:34:52.520 I couldn't tell what the, it's kind of an interesting sport.

00:34:55.400 You can't tell what sport it is.

00:34:57.040 It seems like they're trying to play every sport at once.

00:34:59.460 And they're incredible.

00:35:01.080 Like, I don't really follow AFL.

00:35:03.400 Yeah. 0.98

00:35:03.620 But when I do see it and, you know, talking to people who love it, they're incredible fucking 0.99

00:35:09.060 athletes. 0.99

00:35:09.800 They just never stop just pinning it around.

00:35:13.340 Yeah.

00:35:13.580 It's like.

00:35:13.720 And throwing and kicking.

00:35:14.680 Like, it's not, you run, you stop, you sit, you go again.

00:35:17.620 Like, it's nonstop.

00:35:19.080 It's amazing to watch.

00:35:19.960 Yeah.

00:35:20.240 It kind of has like a soccer aspect.

00:35:21.980 Right.

00:35:22.000 Because it keeps moving.

00:35:23.320 Um.

00:35:24.240 Do your boys play sports or no?

00:35:25.980 Yeah.

00:35:26.600 My oldest boy loves rugby league.

00:35:28.980 But I've pulled him out.

00:35:30.020 Well, he's not going to do it for a year. 0.99

00:35:31.920 He wants to, you know, get his shit together. 0.98

00:35:34.500 Unless we started doing rugby union instead. 1.00

00:35:36.440 I fucking hate it. 0.99

00:35:37.640 What is rugby union? 1.00

00:35:38.440 What's the difference?

00:35:39.440 Um.

00:35:40.320 Oh.

00:35:40.760 Can someone else bring this up?

00:35:42.060 Here we go.

00:35:42.620 Rugby league is.

00:35:46.200 I don't know how to describe the difference.

00:35:48.020 Because if you watch it, it looks very similar.

00:35:51.100 There's. 0.99

00:35:51.460 Oh, everyone listening who knows sports is going to be like this bitch trying to tell us about 1.00

00:35:54.900 fucking union. 1.00

00:35:56.180 Listen up, fellas. 1.00

00:35:56.940 This is how it is.

00:35:57.760 No, it's International Women's Day.

00:35:59.300 Um.

00:35:59.620 You're good.

00:36:00.200 I know.

00:36:00.640 I'm bored because it's sport.

00:36:02.460 Yeah.

00:36:02.620 But, um.

00:36:03.080 Well, there you go.

00:36:03.840 Did you play sports when you were growing up?

00:36:05.720 No.

00:36:06.160 Really?

00:36:06.700 I danced.

00:36:07.760 You did?

00:36:08.600 Yeah.

00:36:08.980 You were a trained dancer.

00:36:10.380 Sure.

00:36:11.260 Not trained.

00:36:12.420 But, like, as a kid, dance, you know, every day of my life up until I was 16. 0.96

00:36:17.520 Fucking loved it. 0.77

00:36:18.320 Oh, it's beautiful. 0.99

00:36:19.360 Well, my main goal in life was to be a Janet Jackson backup dancer.

00:36:22.360 Oh.

00:36:23.260 I love her so much.

00:36:24.340 God, it's so beautiful.

00:36:25.500 Yeah.

00:36:26.140 I have never met her before.

00:36:28.140 I've had dreams where I've met, um, Tito Jackson.

00:36:32.500 Oh, how'd that go?

00:36:34.600 Uh.

00:36:35.380 Yeah.

00:36:36.140 It was, like, at a recovery meeting, but I still got to meet.

00:36:38.320 I got introduced to him twice.

00:36:40.200 In these dreams?

00:36:41.180 Yeah.

00:36:41.740 Yeah, right.

00:36:42.580 It's very specific.

00:36:44.340 Yeah.

00:36:45.600 No, I'm obsessed with Janet.

00:36:47.600 I saw her 1998 Velvet Rope tour in Brisbane.

00:36:50.080 Nuh-uh. 1.00

00:36:50.640 Changed my fucking life. 1.00

00:36:51.880 Where were you at? 1.00

00:36:53.140 Where was my seat?

00:36:54.400 Yeah.

00:36:54.520 Like, row Z, seat 87. 1.00

00:36:56.440 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:36:56.680 What had a better seat in the fucking car park. 1.00

00:36:58.620 I didn't care. 1.00

00:36:59.180 Changed my life.

00:36:59.520 And what were you wearing? 0.98

00:37:00.180 Just your young breasts? 1.00

00:37:01.880 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:02.340 Just baby tits and jeans. 1.00

00:37:06.140 I don't know if we can say that to her. 0.99

00:37:07.340 We probably won't say that, I reckon.

00:37:10.620 I'm happy to stay for the edit, if that helps.

00:37:12.780 No, no, no.

00:37:13.400 I'm available all of a sudden.

00:37:16.200 No, I'm obsessed with her.

00:37:17.740 But even more so her backup dancers.

00:37:19.540 Yeah.

00:37:20.240 Because it's so much to be a backup dancer because you're right there.

00:37:23.520 You're right on the cusp of the star. 1.00

00:37:25.380 Or you're smelling their fucking breath. 0.99

00:37:27.480 Yeah, but you- 1.00

00:37:28.060 If they fart, you're in it.

00:37:29.640 Absolutely.

00:37:30.240 But you need to know your place.

00:37:33.900 Yeah.

00:37:34.600 So you need to know that when Janet breaks off from the group and does her thing, that's 0.99

00:37:40.420 when you can go and, you know, fucking go ham. 0.98

00:37:42.560 But when she comes back, you've got to make sure you fall in line. 0.98

00:37:44.840 I think a lot about Taylor Swift's backup dancers.

00:37:49.180 I think about them a lot.

00:37:50.460 I went and saw her a few weeks ago.

00:37:51.840 You did?

00:37:52.720 Yeah.

00:37:53.160 And did you go alone?

00:37:54.100 No, I took my nine-year-old niece.

00:37:56.980 Beautiful.

00:37:58.060 Yeah, I'm pretty amazing.

00:37:59.160 Do you think some women went alone? 0.99

00:38:02.500 No. 1.00

00:38:03.700 No, I think people went in fucking cults together to that. 1.00

00:38:11.720 With their cauldrons on. 1.00

00:38:13.280 Oh, fucking hell. 0.99

00:38:14.360 No, I don't think there was anyone there alone. 0.99

00:38:16.440 And if they went alone, they didn't leave alone.

00:38:18.620 Like, it was a lot.

00:38:20.220 But I think about her backup dancers.

00:38:21.620 Because she's on tour at the moment, biggest tour in history.

00:38:25.620 And Beyonce's on tour, biggest tour in history. 0.73

00:38:28.360 And you just fucking know that Taylor Swift's backup dancers also auditioned for that Beyonce 0.89

00:38:33.200 tour. 0.98

00:38:35.140 That's tough.

00:38:36.560 There's a lot of skipping around.

00:38:38.860 They come out on push bikes.

00:38:40.000 They bring out pumpkins and do, like, liturgical. 1.00

00:38:42.640 And you don't notice half the shit they do. 0.99

00:38:45.520 Next thing you know, one of them, yeah, just has, like, they'll have a stuffed animal. 1.00

00:38:50.220 They'll have a bassinet.

00:38:51.460 A hundred percent.

00:38:52.280 You know, one of them will have a drum. 0.99

00:38:53.660 One of them will be just, you know, landing their ass on the other one or something. 0.96

00:38:57.580 And before you know it, they have to keep it moving. 0.99

00:39:00.540 But you really, I really noticed it.

00:39:03.020 And I really noticed the backup dancers when Taylor would dance with them. 0.98

00:39:06.380 I'm like, oh, that's, I might want to re-Corey that.

00:39:10.360 And be right there.

00:39:11.520 Taylor's unbelievable.

00:39:12.540 I'm obsessed with her.

00:39:13.360 I think she's incredible.

00:39:14.440 Is she a dancer? 0.99

00:39:16.780 No.

00:39:17.700 Mate, she's not a dancer. 1.00

00:39:18.900 But she is a hype woman. 1.00

00:39:20.720 Yeah.

00:39:21.180 And she dances in front of a hundred thousand people the way that I used to dance in my bedroom alone when I was nine. 0.98

00:39:26.100 And I have fucking respect for that. 0.98

00:39:27.780 That's what I think it is. 0.98

00:39:28.940 I think even when you see her just, like, at other shows, you see her dancing.

00:39:33.180 You see her having a good time.

00:39:33.960 She's all teeth and elbows. 1.00

00:39:35.200 Yeah.

00:39:35.820 But you go, great.

00:39:37.160 I love that for you.

00:39:38.820 Yeah.

00:39:39.320 Those backup dancers. 0.99

00:39:40.700 You can tell they're like, ha, ha, ha.

00:39:42.440 You think some of them, like, that could be me.

00:39:44.060 Do you think some of them have to leave the tour because their ego gets too big?

00:39:47.360 That must happen.

00:39:48.120 I reckon some of them have to do a drop-in dance class once a week.

00:39:50.680 Just to really hone their craft because they're not getting it on stage.

00:39:54.440 Yeah.

00:39:54.820 They have to dumb it down almost, huh?

00:39:57.360 Maybe.

00:39:58.040 Yeah.

00:39:58.780 You've got to be careful with what you say about Taylor.

00:40:01.020 Because the Swifties will come for you and skin you alive. 1.00

00:40:03.880 Really?

00:40:04.280 Are they bad here?

00:40:04.800 I'm not worried for you. 0.98

00:40:05.240 I'm fucking worried for me. 0.96

00:40:06.800 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:07.820 You talked about tits on a baby. 1.00

00:40:09.420 You're already fucked. 1.00

00:40:10.420 If I go for Taylor. 1.00

00:40:12.640 I don't think we should.

00:40:13.920 Yeah.

00:40:14.400 No, that's good.

00:40:15.940 Look, I'm okay with a lot of surgeries.

00:40:17.880 I don't think that's one of them.

00:40:20.160 No, Taylor, yeah.

00:40:22.360 I think she's great.

00:40:23.800 I just don't know if she's a dancer. 0.99

00:40:25.200 Some of the stuff you see at the shows is you will see a lot of people filming their child,

00:40:30.680 trying to get their child on to, like, look, Taylor, this is little Dino or whatever.

00:40:38.280 Phoebe, yeah.

00:40:39.100 Yeah.

00:40:39.620 You know, yeah, this is Chloe and she's your, you know. 0.85

00:40:42.580 Biggest fan.

00:40:43.480 Biggest fan. 1.00

00:40:43.880 And she's, like, eating a bowl of fucking glitter or something. 1.00

00:40:46.240 Tears, yeah. 0.99

00:40:47.600 Tears and resentment.

00:40:49.060 Three and a half hour concert.

00:40:50.720 Wow. 0.99

00:40:52.080 Fucking hell, that's a lot. 0.99

00:40:53.560 Mmm. 0.99

00:40:54.340 I went to the bathroom at one point and I came back to my niece and I said,

00:40:58.920 oh, Taylor's, she got changed during this song.

00:41:02.380 And my niece went, no, it's a different song. 0.98

00:41:05.660 And I went, it's fucking not. 0.98

00:41:08.100 It's all the same. 0.98

00:41:09.720 I thought it was the same song.

00:41:10.720 She's, like, no, it's a completely different song.

00:41:12.660 Oh, yeah.

00:41:13.820 Yeah, I was so high.

00:41:14.780 One time I went to Green Day and the opening band performed and I thought that was Green Day.

00:41:19.860 Who was your opening band?

00:41:20.980 Dua Lipa or something.

00:41:22.320 Probably somebody, yeah.

00:41:23.880 I think it was, like, Chingy or something. 0.99

00:41:25.900 Oh, wow.

00:41:26.560 Did you leave after it?

00:41:27.800 That was great.

00:41:28.280 I was on my way out.

00:41:29.000 That was great.

00:41:29.480 There's heaps of cabs available, like an Uber.

00:41:32.180 This is awesome.

00:41:33.540 I was on my way out.

00:41:36.720 What else is going on?

00:41:38.240 Oh, yeah.

00:41:38.720 So, one thing that people love about you, obviously, so much is just, like, bucking, like, the beauty trend and, like, taking on beauty in, like, such a ridiculous way.

00:41:47.240 Is it, like, beauty, kind of?

00:41:49.180 Or is it just, like, what is, like, the fulcrum of, like, what you feel like you kind of, like, like to pinpoint? 0.99

00:41:56.620 Because you have so many videos of shit that's, like, yeah, like, somebody in the rain drinking a soda. 0.96

00:42:03.020 Just, like, things that's, like, that normally they make it look all sexy and erotic, you know? 0.99

00:42:08.400 And you just kind of make it look like real humans.

00:42:10.740 Like, what if we all did this?

00:42:12.200 Yeah, I think because...

00:42:13.020 Kind of like Taylor Swift's dancing.

00:42:14.360 Exactly the same.

00:42:15.120 Taylor and I are the same.

00:42:16.420 We're exactly the same.

00:42:17.820 We're like in dance.

00:42:18.540 Um, I think just that whole idea of unrealistic ideals of women being sold as realistic. 0.61

00:42:29.800 Yeah.

00:42:30.740 Like, before social media, you know, you get a magazine or whatever you see in the media.

00:42:37.420 Magazine drawing or something. 0.98

00:42:38.900 Yeah, you're like, oh, it's Cindy Crawford being fucking amazing. 0.99

00:42:41.920 She's on a motorbike, in a bikini, on an Empire State building, drinking a Pepsi. 0.98

00:42:47.740 You know what that is?

00:42:48.920 It's an edited thing and that's what it's been sold as.

00:42:51.660 Then kind of social media came out and similar ideas are being pushed.

00:42:56.680 But it's like, this is what I look like, dropping the kids off at school.

00:43:00.940 Or, like, this is my morning routine.

00:43:02.440 And it's 4am and she's in a bikini and she's doing yoga on a beach.

00:43:06.820 She's got a green juice and her kids are, you know, gorgeous.

00:43:10.240 And just doing school drop-off. 1.00

00:43:11.520 I'm like, bitch, that's not what fucking school drop-off looks like. 1.00

00:43:14.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:14.480 Like, that idea of it being sold as...

00:43:17.120 It just... 1.00

00:43:17.740 It's trash. 1.00

00:43:19.200 It's just, you know what, it's fucking hard. 1.00

00:43:22.300 Because then when you get it on your phone, you already hate yourself. 0.99

00:43:27.620 And it's 3am and you're breastfeeding your child who won't fucking breastfeed. 1.00

00:43:30.760 But you have to breastfeed them because if you don't breastfeed them, you're a shit mom. 1.00

00:43:33.560 You may as well give them a fucking meth pipe. 1.00

00:43:35.060 Because that's something else we have to be doing. 1.00

00:43:36.700 And he's also 11, which is a little crazy.

00:43:38.960 Right, exactly. 1.00

00:43:39.500 And he fucking hates you. 1.00

00:43:41.600 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:42.900 And you're scrolling through your phone and then you see these images and they get into that psyche. 1.00

00:43:46.920 I was like, that's bullshit. 1.00

00:43:48.520 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:43:48.940 It's like, why do I have to feel bad suddenly?

00:43:50.720 I already feel bad. 1.00

00:43:51.500 But at least I could put the fucking magazine down or turn the fucking TV off. 1.00

00:43:55.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:55.280 And then we get these in our hands and if you put that down, you'll fucking explode. 0.98

00:44:02.940 And they just peppered. 1.00

00:44:04.760 And I was like, no, I call bullshit to that. 0.99

00:44:06.860 I call absolute bullshit to that. 0.99

00:44:08.060 I still do. 0.99

00:44:08.760 Yeah.

00:44:08.980 And then here's the worst part is I think that then your brain starts to feel bad or something. 0.99

00:44:13.500 Then you release some like thing into your breast milk and now your kid fucking feels bad. 0.99

00:44:18.620 Yeah, absolutely. 1.00

00:44:19.920 Your kid's all fucking pissed or whatever. 0.99

00:44:21.660 A hundred percent. 1.00

00:44:22.180 Because some chick with no kids is fucking, you know, showing her tits near a toaster oven 1.00

00:44:28.160 or whatever making breakfast. 1.00

00:44:29.620 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:30.220 She's not making that breakfast. 0.81

00:44:33.100 But I also wanted to show the other, like, I'm sure there are people out there that do

00:44:40.260 sail on a yacht to drop their kids off to school in bikinis and are incredible.

00:44:45.180 Not everyone's like that.

00:44:46.400 No.

00:44:46.600 And that's not represented.

00:44:48.220 It's not represented.

00:44:49.520 Kind of true, huh?

00:44:50.320 Why do we get afraid, I think, to share whatever is probably really real, I guess?

00:44:55.400 I think it's shifting, though.

00:44:57.440 Yeah.

00:44:59.600 And I think maybe because it's boring, it's not aspirational and we have to constantly,

00:45:06.480 especially, you know, in the public eye or in the media, got to be aspirational.

00:45:11.860 Someone asked me in an interview yesterday, well, what's next?

00:45:14.200 You know, you're going to go to World Tour, you're doing this, you're doing that. 0.99

00:45:15.900 So I'm going to lie the fuck down. 0.99

00:45:17.520 Yeah. 0.99

00:45:17.840 That's what I want to do.

00:45:19.540 I want to try and figure out how to live one day without anxiety and sleep for longer

00:45:25.860 than four hours.

00:45:26.620 Oh, yeah.

00:45:27.040 Like, that's a goal of mine.

00:45:29.440 It doesn't always have to be, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to

00:45:32.480 do this.

00:45:33.640 And that's the stuff of social media, too.

00:45:35.360 Yeah, well, I think there's, it definitely creates a world of like, I have to do something

00:45:41.820 else.

00:45:42.900 Yeah, what's next?

00:45:43.960 What's next?

00:45:44.460 Because people have seen it next, seen it next, seen it now.

00:45:46.700 Even like in TV now with streamers, consume television on streaming services, the way we

00:45:52.740 consume TikTok.

00:45:54.280 And this is one of the crazy things that happened.

00:45:57.440 You start to not even value, you don't even realize how much production goes into television

00:46:02.220 stuff.

00:46:03.020 So people don't even value it as much anymore.

00:46:05.200 They value it as like, if this doesn't get my attention pretty quick or I'm not in, I move

00:46:09.800 on.

00:46:10.160 And it's almost like you scroll past it and to think that that much production and time

00:46:16.100 and creativity and everything would go into a program and you would just scroll right past

00:46:23.060 it.

00:46:23.540 It's one of the reasons I think why like even JFL are saying that there's problems because

00:46:28.240 there's just tightening budgets at all those places because they, they can't figure out

00:46:33.960 how to make it, um, where people are sticking around, you know?

00:46:38.120 Yeah.

00:46:38.260 And people want everything for free, but that's, that's, you know, that's what the industry

00:46:44.000 and, you know, society, social media, all that sort of stuff has put out there. 1.00

00:46:47.500 It's like, if you don't binge this show in two days, you're a fucking idiot because we've 1.00

00:46:51.880 got 40 other shows that are coming up that everyone else is watching. 1.00

00:46:54.740 So you have to, you have to kind of keep up watching it. 0.98

00:46:58.600 And if you don't, well then aren't you a loser? 0.95

00:47:01.040 How dare you watch one episode a day? 1.00

00:47:03.780 Fuckhead. 1.00

00:47:04.480 That's the whole thing. 1.00

00:47:06.140 And then it totally cares if your children can't read this fucking second episode of 1.00

00:47:11.780 Griselda, you little bitch. 1.00

00:47:14.000 Bridgerton 65's coming out. 1.00

00:47:15.680 You're not onto it yet.

00:47:16.700 Yeah.

00:47:17.080 And that's, I think that really dilutes the quality of what we see because Bridgerton,

00:47:22.780 for example, you watch that.

00:47:24.240 It drops and you binge it in two days and then everyone loves it and they're like, you have

00:47:31.880 to make another one.

00:47:32.760 So instead of going, all right, well, let's go and develop some scripts.

00:47:35.540 We'll get some writers out.

00:47:36.640 Oh, we're going to, you know, what draft do you usually shoot on?

00:47:39.320 Oh, 10th draft. 1.00

00:47:40.320 Fuck that. 1.00

00:47:41.020 Second draft, shooting draft. 1.00

00:47:42.560 Go.

00:47:42.740 Elizabeth needs yellow fever or whoever the characters are.

00:47:46.180 And just absolutely dilute the quality of it. 1.00

00:47:49.220 Put Bridgerton in a fucking coma and let's fucking keep it moving. 0.99

00:47:53.280 Episode one, but episode two, fucking bring them out. 1.00

00:47:55.740 Keep going. 0.99

00:47:56.340 Yeah.

00:47:56.580 Things start to lose quality because we want things so fast.

00:48:00.400 Yeah.

00:48:00.640 It used to be, it's, you know, it's always been a tough industry and challenging kind 0.97

00:48:07.600 of like that about it, but it's fucking brutal now. 0.89

00:48:10.880 Like, and what is the acting side? 0.97

00:48:13.180 Yeah.

00:48:13.500 Trying to get.

00:48:14.280 That seems impossible.

00:48:15.360 Trying to, like I had a show on Netflix that went really well. 0.99

00:48:18.600 It fucking killed. 0.99

00:48:19.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:20.100 Well made.

00:48:20.640 Yeah.

00:48:20.980 It went really well and it didn't get renewed.

00:48:25.160 And I, and I, and they said because of numbers, but the numbers were really good.

00:48:29.420 It's, you just have to keep up and it's, you can only can control that so much.

00:48:35.600 And a lot of these people making those choices have no idea.

00:48:39.320 Are accountants.

00:48:40.240 They're, well, they are just, yeah, they're, they have no idea what's cool.

00:48:45.320 And that's one of the, also one of the things that I do like about people being able to make

00:48:50.780 their own content and have their own voice is because those people thought they knew everything.

00:48:58.100 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:58.340 And they don't know shit. 1.00

00:49:00.140 No. 0.99

00:49:00.520 And now their old festivals are falling apart. 0.99

00:49:03.680 Their networks are making shit that nobody's paying attention to. 0.98

00:49:09.120 I think it's, I think it's part of the problem. 0.99

00:49:12.960 I mean, I'm probably a little jaded too, you know, similar thing happened to me, but it's

00:49:16.240 like they tried to get so woke.

00:49:18.380 I don't know.

00:49:19.760 And in the U S like the comedy central got so woke and everything they put on people that 0.97

00:49:23.780 weren't even fucking comedians making shows. 0.75

00:49:25.620 It was just like, and it, and then now they'll like give, they want to come and offer you 0.98

00:49:30.760 like $500 to come make a show with them.

00:49:33.240 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:33.580 Get fucked. 1.00

00:49:34.560 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:35.200 Yeah.

00:49:35.700 With your special.

00:49:36.500 They're like, we're going to give you 16 cents for your special.

00:49:40.460 I'm like the one that I sold out worldwide and made a fuck ton of money on. 0.62

00:49:44.040 You can't have that.

00:49:45.140 I know.

00:49:46.060 You can't have that.

00:49:47.880 Yeah.

00:49:48.300 Was that, did that, did that feel kind of scary?

00:49:50.280 Because I guess when you're an actor, getting a show is such a huge thing.

00:49:53.640 It was awesome. 0.93

00:49:54.760 I fucking loved it. 0.93

00:49:56.080 It was so fun. 0.97

00:49:56.660 I have to watch it.

00:49:56.980 I haven't seen it.

00:49:57.480 I just saw that you, I know that you did it and that's all I know. 0.60

00:50:00.220 I was executive producer on it as well, which I fucking loved. 0.96

00:50:03.340 Really? 0.98

00:50:03.640 Did you get one of those little chairs with the black back on it?

00:50:06.200 No, I didn't. 0.99

00:50:07.740 Fucking hell, I should have got that. 0.99

00:50:09.540 Oh, well, I got an ego though. 0.99

00:50:10.740 Yeah.

00:50:11.260 Massive ego from it.

00:50:12.680 I just loved it.

00:50:13.680 I was, you know, it was a show that was built around me.

00:50:16.780 It was a, it's a, it was a dream situation.

00:50:18.780 It was a book that was then turned into a show and they wanted to build 0.97

00:50:23.580 it around me and had awesome people on it and we made it and it's fucking 0.98

00:50:27.660 wicked. 0.97

00:50:28.180 I loved it. 0.97

00:50:29.280 I loved it.

00:50:29.720 I loved the story as well of being a woman, 41 now, you know,

00:50:34.740 on screen being big and loud and flawed and annoying and weird and exciting.

00:50:41.440 And then before we're talking about audiences and people come up to me

00:50:45.780 in the street and just like women, they're like, 1.00

00:50:47.600 I fucking saw myself in that character. 0.98

00:50:49.500 We don't see that much. 0.99

00:50:50.400 Right.

00:50:51.720 And so I love that.

00:50:52.980 So I really,

00:50:54.100 really would have loved to have extended that and given more to that story 0.99

00:50:58.520 and seen more in that character as well as being the lead in a fucking show 0.97

00:51:02.640 for a second season, an executive producer. 0.98

00:51:04.760 Like I'm not hiding that.

00:51:06.840 I enjoyed that.

00:51:08.200 Yeah.

00:51:08.660 So the whole experience was awesome.

00:51:11.420 Well, it sounds like it.

00:51:12.720 I'll, I want to go back and watch it.

00:51:14.440 I like some Australian shows.

00:51:15.960 I like Bondi Rescue and I like, um, you know, Chris Lilley shows.

00:51:22.460 Yeah.

00:51:23.340 Have you seen all of his stuff?

00:51:24.980 Like from the beginning?

00:51:26.160 I think I've seen everything.

00:51:27.500 The problem is, well, Netflix took half of their, they used to have it up.

00:51:31.060 Have you seen Summer Heights High?

00:51:32.920 Yeah.

00:51:33.360 And have you seen We Can Be Heroes? 1.00

00:51:34.860 Stop looking at my dick. 1.00

00:51:37.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:38.200 Fuck you, miss. 1.00

00:51:39.000 Sorry for saying fuck you, miss. 1.00

00:51:40.340 Mr. G. 1.00

00:51:41.120 Mr. G.

00:51:41.780 Oh, it's so good. 0.81

00:51:43.460 She's a naughty girl with a bad habit, a bad habit for drugs. 1.00

00:51:49.340 Oh. 0.97

00:51:50.020 Ecstasy.

00:51:51.300 Ecstasy. 0.99

00:51:51.840 I fucking love him. 0.99

00:51:53.260 Did you see We Can Be Heroes? 0.99

00:51:55.420 Um.

00:51:55.860 That was his first one.

00:51:57.280 We can be heroes.

00:51:58.660 No, it's, we have Australian of the Year in Australia.

00:52:01.800 Yes.

00:52:02.320 And it's about.

00:52:03.060 I have seen it.

00:52:03.920 It's at a, it takes place at a school as well.

00:52:06.080 Well, it's all, again, different characters all over Australia who are nominated to be

00:52:09.440 Australian of the Year.

00:52:10.380 Yes.

00:52:10.740 And he plays all of them.

00:52:11.560 It's worth watching.

00:52:13.080 I'll have to go back and watch it again.

00:52:14.140 Yeah, go and find it for sure.

00:52:15.020 It's great.

00:52:15.700 Yeah, the only one who plays it up on Summer High was on like YouTube in like, and it's

00:52:20.880 somebody else watching it on their television and then putting the episode up.

00:52:24.540 Yeah.

00:52:25.020 Where was it?

00:52:25.600 It's very Vietnamese.

00:52:27.280 Where was it?

00:52:27.980 Was it on Netflix?

00:52:29.160 No, this was on YouTube.

00:52:30.260 It used to be somewhere good.

00:52:31.780 But remember, they tried to cancel him here. 1.00

00:52:33.040 That was the dumbest shit ever. 1.00

00:52:34.160 He's a fucking legend. 1.00

00:52:35.380 Chris is hilarious. 0.99

00:52:36.840 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

00:52:37.680 I kind of dropped off after Summer Heights High for no fucking reason.

00:52:42.520 I just, I didn't really see much of that stuff after that. 0.97

00:52:46.520 That was so good.

00:52:47.360 Hang on, yes, I did.

00:52:48.340 What was it?

00:52:48.520 Year 12s.

00:52:50.300 And Nathan, those brothers. 1.00

00:52:54.300 Fuck, that was funny. 1.00

00:52:57.280 Nathan! 1.00

00:52:57.980 Like screaming and he's next to me.

00:53:00.380 And what about when the other kid comes up that's like a better dancer than him? 0.99

00:53:04.380 That was so fucking crazy. 0.99

00:53:07.140 Mr. G, that character. 0.99

00:53:09.100 Oh, and Jermay.

00:53:10.660 So good.

00:53:11.680 So good.

00:53:13.440 God, that was so good.

00:53:15.100 It's just, it's, that was like the Seinfeld of Australia, I feel like, in a way.

00:53:18.920 Yeah.

00:53:20.320 Yeah.

00:53:20.840 Because it's so on the nose and perfect.

00:53:23.060 You're like, could anything get more perfect than that?

00:53:25.900 Yeah.

00:53:26.000 I got to meet him once.

00:53:27.360 Oh, yeah, right.

00:53:27.980 Yeah.

00:53:28.460 I got to meet him once and I was so, yeah.

00:53:32.020 It was just, yeah.

00:53:33.020 Was it awesome meeting him?

00:53:33.940 I've never met him.

00:53:34.360 Yeah, it was awesome.

00:53:34.960 He came on the podcast last time I was in Australia.

00:53:37.020 Great.

00:53:37.700 Yeah, it was super.

00:53:38.600 I came downstairs in the hotel and he's just kind of standing off to the side kind of.

00:53:42.860 Like, kind of has this like, kind of like shyness, I guess.

00:53:49.020 Curious kind of guy.

00:53:50.520 I'm interested that he did your podcast because I don't think he does much, does he?

00:53:53.980 I don't think he does a lot of stuff like that.

00:53:55.220 I don't think he does anything.

00:53:56.280 I felt super stoked about it.

00:53:58.740 I'm going to try to get to say hey to him before I leave town.

00:54:01.220 He said he's out of town right now, but.

00:54:03.000 Yeah, right.

00:54:03.680 He's a funny guy.

00:54:04.720 Yeah.

00:54:05.600 Did you ever do, like, see Kath and Kim?

00:54:08.600 Kath and Kim?

00:54:09.500 Kath and Kim. 0.99

00:54:10.080 It's another Australian show that's fucking brilliant. 0.98

00:54:12.740 I haven't seen it. 0.97

00:54:13.140 It's about, like, suburban Australia.

00:54:14.980 Sean and Marley, I like.

00:54:16.180 Have you seen them?

00:54:16.880 No.

00:54:17.640 It's like recipes and Down syndrome, basically.

00:54:22.160 It's like a little.

00:54:23.340 Is it Australian? 0.96

00:54:24.620 Yeah.

00:54:25.820 It's good.

00:54:26.280 I don't know that.

00:54:26.760 Yeah, it's quality form content.

00:54:29.080 Good telly.

00:54:30.480 Good telly.

00:54:31.200 Sean is more bit of bit.

00:54:33.100 He can get a little agitated sometimes if the vegetables aren't right.

00:54:36.920 Hang on, wait.

00:54:37.340 Is this a TV or YouTube?

00:54:38.760 YouTube.

00:54:39.580 This is YouTube.

00:54:41.560 It's really great.

00:54:42.600 Let me, yeah, let's.

00:54:43.800 So, Sean and Marley, one of them has Down syndrome, I believe.

00:54:48.100 And I believe they are, I don't know if they're Christian or not, but they're Asian.

00:54:54.980 Well, we can't watch it, but they're great, though, if you get to see them.

00:54:58.160 Yeah, we'll have it.

00:54:58.460 Really wonderful.

00:54:58.920 For sure.

00:55:00.560 What else are you thinking about?

00:55:03.880 What else am I thinking about?

00:55:05.080 My kid's got a football game this afternoon.

00:55:06.860 Are you going to make it?

00:55:08.760 No, the second half.

00:55:10.500 Yeah, Mom.

00:55:11.540 Yeah.

00:55:11.800 He said to me on the phone, he's like, Mom, will you make it to the game?

00:55:15.020 My nine-year-old.

00:55:16.520 I went, look, my flight gets in like 20 minutes before you start.

00:55:21.360 Because that's okay.

00:55:21.980 You can just come to the second half. 0.99

00:55:23.240 I was like, you're the fucking best, man. 0.99

00:55:24.960 That was nice of him. 1.00

00:55:25.620 He's the, like, he's fucking wicked. 0.99

00:55:28.000 Dude, my mom would sit in the third, out in the outfield in the van, and she would say, 1.00

00:55:33.780 hit it or we're leaving, and she would fucking lay on the horn. 1.00

00:55:36.560 What did you play? 0.99

00:55:37.740 Play baseball.

00:55:38.660 Right.

00:55:39.300 Hit it or we're leaving.

00:55:40.720 And we would.

00:55:41.520 Oh.

00:55:42.000 Because she didn't want to wait for the second time for the baddest to go around. 1.00

00:55:44.980 She's got shit to do. 0.99

00:55:46.060 Because I didn't get to play much in the field. 0.99

00:55:47.700 They would put me out there, but it was like, they didn't want me out there.

00:55:51.820 Did you like it?

00:55:53.360 I didn't like it.

00:55:54.800 What, being in the outfield or playing at all?

00:55:56.980 I just didn't like being out there, I guess.

00:55:58.860 I don't know.

00:55:59.580 There was things I didn't like about it, I guess.

00:56:01.260 I didn't like the heat out there.

00:56:03.000 Yeah.

00:56:03.400 It's long, too.

00:56:03.660 You always feel like you're supposed to do yard work.

00:56:05.040 You feel like a farmer.

00:56:05.940 You're out there with all this land.

00:56:07.060 Right.

00:56:07.680 You're in, like, left field.

00:56:08.580 You don't have any seed.

00:56:09.580 You don't have any mules.

00:56:10.600 You're, like. 1.00

00:56:10.820 Fucking around. 1.00

00:56:11.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:11.940 With your own thoughts.

00:56:12.760 That's never good when you've got depression, man, out there. 1.00

00:56:15.780 You're like, this farm sucks. 1.00

00:56:17.060 I'm just wondering where the nearest fucking bridge is. 1.00

00:56:19.100 This isn't good for me. 0.99

00:56:20.960 And they're long games, right?

00:56:22.460 Baseball.

00:56:23.020 Long.

00:56:23.720 Oh, so long.

00:56:24.700 It's like cricket. 0.99

00:56:25.800 Fucking long. 1.00

00:56:26.840 Oh, cricket seems unbelievably ridiculous. 0.99

00:56:28.640 It seems like they shouldn't do it. 0.99

00:56:29.920 That's what it seems like to Americans.

00:56:30.860 Right.

00:56:31.120 And it also seems like they don't really do it. 0.97

00:56:33.640 I'm like, you don't do fucking much. 0.96

00:56:35.060 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:35.900 And then all of a sudden something happens and everyone shits themselves. 0.98

00:56:40.880 Like, no, like, four people of the 50,000 people that are fucking standing out there 0.99

00:56:45.620 playing get excited for 10 minutes and everyone goes home. 0.96

00:56:48.020 Yeah.

00:56:48.360 And it's all across the news.

00:56:49.300 I'm like, what happened?

00:56:49.980 And it lasts for, like, three days, too.

00:56:51.960 Yeah.

00:56:52.240 Isn't there, like, a 10-day test?

00:56:54.500 Yeah, it goes forever.

00:56:56.000 That's crazy.

00:56:56.520 There's, like, an Indian.

00:56:57.320 It kind of reminds me of an Indian wedding.

00:56:58.560 A lot of Indian weddings are like that.

00:56:59.840 Yeah, but they look fun.

00:57:00.880 Oh, yeah.

00:57:01.160 I think it's a lot more fun than a game of cricket, probably. 0.99

00:57:03.420 I think anything is a lot more fun than a game of fucking cricket. 0.99

00:57:07.860 Thank you. 0.99

00:57:09.360 I really do.

00:57:09.940 I've been wanting to say that, but I think I always be afraid to say it because I'm like,

00:57:13.200 oh, people are going to get pissed, cricket.

00:57:14.360 Yeah, you probably can't say it.

00:57:14.940 But you know what? 1.00

00:57:15.400 Fuck that, man. 1.00

00:57:16.520 I'll say this. 1.00

00:57:17.440 The shit looks fucking ridiculous. 1.00

00:57:19.960 The helmet looks absolutely insane. 1.00

00:57:24.820 It looks unbelievably bad.

00:57:27.680 How do you feel about American football, then? 1.00

00:57:29.580 Because they look like fucking idiots. 1.00

00:57:31.140 You know what? 1.00

00:57:32.080 I think I kind of agree with you.

00:57:35.180 There's this clip on YouTube of NFL players watching rugby league games. 0.96

00:57:43.680 And because it's fucking brutal league, like, they have some padding. 0.97

00:57:47.480 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:57:47.500 Rugby seems way more.

00:57:48.760 They run at each other and they just, you know, demolish each other.

00:57:52.600 That's why all my kids are doing it. 0.99

00:57:54.100 But it's really funny footage of these massive NFL players going, what the fuck? 0.99

00:57:59.340 They can't believe it. 0.99

00:58:00.420 Really?

00:58:01.740 Yeah.

00:58:02.340 I mean, that's illegal.

00:58:03.420 That's a spear tackle.

00:58:04.140 10 in the bin. 1.00

00:58:10.440 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:58:11.520 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:58:12.080 It's so full on.

00:58:13.340 Look out, mate, behind you.

00:58:14.440 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:58:16.220 It makes my penis hurt. 1.00

00:58:17.840 Yeah, it should. 1.00

00:58:19.100 Makes my penis hurt. 1.00

00:58:20.360 Fuck. 1.00

00:58:21.080 Good God. 1.00

00:58:22.360 And then he's got to get him.

00:58:25.280 Oh, it's really brutal. 0.99

00:58:27.060 Yeah, when I see a lot of pain, I feel it in my genitalia. 0.91

00:58:30.620 Yeah, right.

00:58:31.760 Is that a weird thing you think that happens to people?

00:58:33.360 I think men just talking about their genitalia in general, kind of weird.

00:58:37.820 Yeah.

00:58:38.380 Sorry about that.

00:58:39.340 That's okay.

00:58:42.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:58:44.460 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:58:47.180 Whoa.

00:58:47.880 Is this economy?

00:58:49.320 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:58:51.780 Sweet.

00:58:52.860 Fast free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:58:56.900 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:58:59.940 It's kind of like I'm already on vacation.

00:59:03.380 Nice.

00:59:04.280 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

00:59:07.360 Wi-Fi available to airplane members on equipped flights.

00:59:09.500 Sponsored by Bell.

00:59:10.160 Conditions apply.

00:59:10.860 See your Canada.com.

00:59:11.880 A lot of you guys know we started off with our first advertiser ever was Gray Block Pizza.

00:59:17.900 Get that hitter, baby. 1.00

00:59:20.360 And the owner of Gray Block Pizza, my friend Thomas, evolved his business up in Oregon to

00:59:26.740 start blue cube baths.

00:59:28.880 And he sent me one and it's absolutely beautiful.

00:59:32.880 A wonderful cold plunge.

00:59:34.480 The best cold plunge in the market.

00:59:36.600 If you value American made and pinnacle cold exposure, this is your cold plunge.

00:59:44.120 Blue cube baths.

00:59:46.220 What I love is you can set that temperature, get it down to, I mean, it might just, you might

00:59:53.680 be able to ice skate in there.

00:59:55.360 I haven't put it that low, but you can set it to a place where you feel comfortable.

00:59:59.220 I'll get in around 50 degrees for about 10 or 12 minutes.

01:00:02.080 And that's what really sets me and activates me.

01:00:05.880 I've done it before podcasts to really put me in, just put me in my body and put me in

01:00:11.560 the moment.

01:00:12.680 You know, the positive side effects of cold plunging are, are countless.

01:00:18.060 You can follow blue cubes, Instagram for a chance to win your own cold plunge this spring

01:00:23.540 and summer.

01:00:24.260 That's right.

01:00:24.880 They're giving one away.

01:00:26.720 They will announce the giveaway soon.

01:00:28.680 So follow them at blue cube baths and, uh, we wish them the best of luck, um, and thank

01:00:36.480 them for supporting the podcast.

01:00:38.020 So early on is pornography causing a problem in your life.

01:00:42.800 That's a good question.

01:00:44.280 It's a real question.

01:00:45.460 It has in mind, it has it certain periods in my life, uh, watching porno and everything

01:00:53.000 and watching porno was making me, it was ruining my life.

01:00:56.720 It was ruining my life, man. 0.87

01:00:58.160 It made me feel just so much shame.

01:01:00.060 That's what it did.

01:01:01.620 Well, I'm watching pornography has become commonplace today.

01:01:05.520 And oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and

01:01:12.340 depression.

01:01:13.680 That's all.

01:01:14.320 I want to introduce you to my friend, Steven Walt.

01:01:18.060 Steve is the founder of valor recovery.

01:01:20.400 He is a dear friend of mine.

01:01:22.000 He is a dear friend of mine.

01:01:24.880 Valor recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity.

01:01:32.200 That's right.

01:01:32.860 Their coaches are in long-term recovery and they will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual

01:01:37.400 guide to transcend problematic behaviors.

01:01:40.360 There is zero commitment.

01:01:42.360 If you reach out to them, it's just the first step in trying to figure out if you may need

01:01:48.880 some help, if you can get some help to learn more about valor recovery, please visit them

01:01:54.160 at valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com.

01:02:04.920 The links will be on the YouTube.

01:02:07.140 And again, there's no commitment when you reach out to them.

01:02:11.080 Um, but I promise you, uh, only something positive will come, uh, from you reaching out and figuring

01:02:18.720 out if, um, if what type of help, if any, uh, could benefit you.

01:02:24.440 Thank you.

01:02:26.480 Yeah.

01:02:26.820 How weird is it? 1.00

01:02:27.640 I guess if your child's going through puberty, you gotta, like, you gotta fuck. 1.00

01:02:30.680 Do you have to sit down with them? 1.00

01:02:31.780 What, what do parents do?

01:02:32.860 Like, do you ever talk with your husband about how to do that?

01:02:35.120 Yeah.

01:02:35.380 It goes like this. 1.00

01:02:36.500 Fucking talk to him. 1.00

01:02:37.760 No. 1.00

01:02:37.960 That's how I do it.

01:02:39.180 Really?

01:02:39.500 I try and talk to him. 0.63

01:02:40.820 We got an email from his school saying, just so you know, this term we're doing like sex

01:02:46.040 ed, we're going to be talking about.

01:02:47.900 Yeah. 0.76

01:02:48.460 And I said to my son, sucked in, you're going to get it at school. 0.94

01:02:52.840 We, we do. 1.00

01:02:53.760 We try and talk to him, but they know fucking how kids know shit. 1.00

01:02:58.020 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:58.300 They know.

01:02:58.960 But I think sex ed is when it gets really weird because then it's like somebody is talking

01:03:04.500 about it and everybody's in the same room at the same time.

01:03:08.520 And they had a doll.

01:03:09.780 I remember they passed around like a doll in our class, which was crazy.

01:03:14.660 I'm like, people are like, abusing this doll kind of like, and there was a male doll and

01:03:20.100 a female doll.

01:03:21.100 Like I'm just, but I think it's so, cause you remember that energy?

01:03:23.960 Did you have to go to sex ed?

01:03:25.300 I, I don't remember it at all.

01:03:28.100 What?

01:03:28.380 Yeah.

01:03:29.560 I don't remember.

01:03:30.800 Maybe I wasn't at school when it was happening. 0.98

01:03:32.820 We have this thing in Australia called Healthy Harold and this fucking van comes around to 0.99

01:03:39.600 each school and Harold is the character. 0.98

01:03:43.240 He's a giraffe and you go into the Healthy Harold van and they have like figurines and

01:03:50.740 it's like, this is what a uterus looks like or, or like, this is what like skin can't 1.00

01:03:56.300 like skin or, you know, like, but then I remember Healthy Harold comes, it's, it's a lot.

01:04:04.080 And then Healthy Harold comes back and then they talk about sex ed and I didn't, maybe

01:04:10.780 I didn't go.

01:04:11.420 Isn't that weird?

01:04:11.840 I don't remember the whole, you know, healthy Harold condom on a, um, banana thing.

01:04:18.680 I don't remember any of that.

01:04:21.280 Maybe I just skipped it.

01:04:24.320 Yeah.

01:04:24.840 I, well, that's, that's pretty interesting that they use a giraffe to do it and he comes

01:04:29.200 around.

01:04:29.840 And my poppy's name was Harold as well. 0.82

01:04:31.320 So I was like, I'm fucking good not learning about this in a weird dark van.

01:04:36.260 We are getting into a van, I think, but that's happened. 0.82

01:04:39.360 So a lot of, a lot of people have gotten into a van. 1.00

01:04:40.940 And learn a lot of shit, learn a lot of shit in a van. 0.99

01:04:44.820 Actually, it's not a bad idea. 1.00

01:04:45.920 Almost like an ice cream truck that just goes around with facts about sex.

01:04:49.300 Yeah.

01:04:49.580 You just need to get, um, parents to sign off on it.

01:04:52.160 Yeah.

01:04:52.560 You're laughing.

01:04:54.160 Yeah.

01:04:54.380 We, we do try to talk to my boy a bit about it, but.

01:04:58.120 Yeah.

01:04:58.280 Like that's, that, that, that, that's just thing I would wonder.

01:05:00.180 Yeah.

01:05:00.280 Like what do you, and what's the school saying?

01:05:01.720 Like beware?

01:05:02.580 Like it's.

01:05:03.360 I think that no month or whatever.

01:05:05.500 Yeah.

01:05:05.980 It's not.

01:05:06.560 They're like, you can, you think it's international women's day.

01:05:08.760 It's not. 1.00

01:05:09.300 It's, we're teaching your kid about shit. 1.00

01:05:11.840 Oh. 1.00

01:05:12.540 I know.

01:05:12.980 So it was just kind of letting us know that they're going to be talking about a menstrual 0.94

01:05:17.140 cycle.

01:05:17.880 No.

01:05:18.720 Yeah.

01:05:18.920 I'm full on at home with that, with my boys. 1.00

01:05:21.220 I'm in a house full of dicks. 0.99

01:05:22.260 So I'm like, I talk about that a lot. 0.99

01:05:24.540 I'm like, I've got my period, getting my period.

01:05:26.800 Everyone look alive.

01:05:27.920 And like my, everyone gird your loins.

01:05:30.580 Cause yeah. 1.00

01:05:31.660 Here's, I'm firing some fucking warning shots. 0.99

01:05:33.940 Cause it's not looking good for any of you guys for a while. 0.99

01:05:37.460 Wow.

01:05:37.760 But now my nine year old will be like, um, did you want something to, if I'm like, I've got

01:05:42.380 my period.

01:05:42.960 Really?

01:05:43.300 Do you want something?

01:05:44.000 Yeah.

01:05:44.440 I got good kids.

01:05:45.860 Wow.

01:05:46.340 Yeah.

01:05:47.060 Raising good boys.

01:05:47.840 That's beautiful.

01:05:48.700 Yeah.

01:05:48.860 That's sweet.

01:05:49.660 That's nice. 0.99

01:05:50.380 I also have heard my husband walk into the kitchen and say to my boys, boys, it's fucking 0.99

01:05:54.900 back off. 1.00

01:05:55.740 Get out of here.

01:05:56.720 I can hear him whispering.

01:05:57.860 They're like, get out of here.

01:05:58.680 She's not, it's not good.

01:06:00.140 Take it easy today, guys.

01:06:01.300 Yeah.

01:06:01.740 Wow.

01:06:02.180 Yeah.

01:06:03.060 And, um, will you guys have any more children you think?

01:06:05.280 No.

01:06:06.700 No.

01:06:07.160 Oh, so less.

01:06:08.560 No, I've got a hundred.

01:06:09.660 I'm good.

01:06:10.160 I do have my, so.

01:06:11.420 So, and I'm really busy with work and I'm like, maybe if I just have a baby, I don't

01:06:17.280 have to do any of this.

01:06:18.660 Yeah.

01:06:19.000 I need to stop and just have a baby because that's easy.

01:06:24.840 People have babies all the time.

01:06:26.060 I think just so they can get out of work, maybe get out of work or something or not have

01:06:29.640 to do something.

01:06:30.580 Men do that. 1.00

01:06:31.240 Women don't do that. 1.00

01:06:31.980 Women don't. 1.00

01:06:32.320 Yeah.

01:06:32.840 That's a men thing. 0.79

01:06:33.700 That's not a woman thing. 1.00

01:06:34.640 So men are like, oh, I'll have this baby and then it'll make.

01:06:36.600 Let's have a kid.

01:06:37.440 It's just easier.

01:06:38.000 And the woman's like, yeah, sure. 1.00

01:06:39.000 Then she does it. 1.00

01:06:39.400 She's like, I fucking hate you, man. 1.00

01:06:40.700 No. 1.00

01:06:41.180 I hate everything about you. 0.98

01:06:42.320 Men will do that, huh? 1.00

01:06:43.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:43.700 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:06:45.000 We're sick. 1.00

01:06:48.000 We're sick, man.

01:06:50.120 I do think about that though sometimes.

01:06:51.660 And my youngest really wants me to have another baby because he wants to be a big brother.

01:06:56.260 Oh.

01:06:57.300 But I'm hoping my stepdaughters will hurry up and get pregnant. 1.00

01:07:00.160 I'm like, that will work for me.

01:07:01.640 Yeah.

01:07:01.960 As long as somebody kind of fulfills that space a little bit, I think that's super important.

01:07:05.700 Yeah.

01:07:07.460 What else was I saying?

01:07:08.280 Oh, there was a bunch of beauty tips I was going to ask you because so many things you

01:07:11.300 went through like with about like beauty and different things we're talking about, like

01:07:14.740 a lot of your videos.

01:07:15.900 Do you have a...

01:07:17.260 That's not me.

01:07:18.800 This is not you.

01:07:19.600 No.

01:07:20.100 But go on.

01:07:21.040 Bring that back up though.

01:07:22.180 What is some of these?

01:07:23.100 I just wanted to think.

01:07:23.800 What do you think about some of these new ones that people are doing?

01:07:27.320 Nose blush.

01:07:28.940 I don't know.

01:07:29.520 What?

01:07:29.780 You just make your nose pink? 0.98

01:07:30.980 Yeah.

01:07:31.160 I think it's sweeping bright blush across your face onto your nose.

01:07:35.340 And I think...

01:07:35.880 I don't...

01:07:36.840 Who wants to highlight the bridge of their nose?

01:07:39.460 I think it started probably with COVID or something probably because people were sick

01:07:42.400 anyway. 0.98

01:07:44.580 So I think people are like, I might as well fucking look really bad. 0.99

01:07:49.360 Snail skin... 1.00

01:07:50.060 Fuck off. 1.00

01:07:51.600 That's not a thing. 1.00

01:07:52.780 Snail skincare.

01:07:53.680 Yeah.

01:07:53.840 This is where I guess, yeah, people are putting snails in.

01:07:57.760 This must be a...

01:07:58.540 This is Asian thing. 0.96

01:08:00.060 Yeah.

01:08:00.280 Popularizing Korea spread across Asia.

01:08:01.900 The texture of the snail slime on your face is already giving us the heebie-jeebies. 0.99

01:08:05.960 Actually, a snail on your face would feel fucking wild, huh? 0.98

01:08:10.380 Yeah. 0.98

01:08:10.980 I could feel that in a very specific part of my spine.

01:08:14.080 That's weird.

01:08:15.340 It would be the actual, for me, the slow movement of the snail.

01:08:20.380 I'm just not interested.

01:08:21.520 I'm happy. 1.00

01:08:22.640 I would rather look like a hat full of assholes than fucking sit through that. 1.00

01:08:25.960 I'm not doing that. 1.00

01:08:27.300 Imagine a hat full of assholes. 1.00

01:08:27.880 And it's not even a movement. 1.00

01:08:28.700 It's just a casual, like...

01:08:32.020 Never ending.

01:08:33.320 Yeah.

01:08:34.740 Oh.

01:08:35.600 Almost seems kind of nice.

01:08:36.920 I think it depends on where you put it at.

01:08:38.760 That was quite nice.

01:08:39.820 But if you put...

01:08:40.540 Yeah.

01:08:40.840 Like, I don't know if it's soothing or not, though.

01:08:43.360 Flower beads.

01:08:44.060 You know what my friend Caleb told me?

01:08:45.600 He told me that this is the neatest thing I've ever heard.

01:08:48.540 That you can look at anything and know what it will feel like on your tongue.

01:08:54.320 Because when you were a baby, you put everything in your mouth.

01:09:01.260 What?

01:09:02.660 I can look at anything.

01:09:04.220 Like, you can look at anything, like material or anything, and you can know what it will feel like on your tongue.

01:09:08.640 Yeah, right.

01:09:10.160 That's kind of cool.

01:09:11.220 It's crazy.

01:09:11.980 You can look at anything, and you're like...

01:09:14.980 But he said it's because you tried everything when you were a child.

01:09:18.480 But it doesn't kind of check out, because, like, when I look at those lights, I know how it feels on my tongue, but that's not because I shove lights in my face as a baby.

01:09:26.420 Maybe not, but do you shove certain...

01:09:28.240 It's just like, did we taste every fabric?

01:09:30.040 You know what I'm saying?

01:09:30.460 Did we taste every surface?

01:09:32.400 Without even, you know... 1.00

01:09:33.080 Yeah, sand, all that shit. 0.99

01:09:34.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:09:34.840 Because it's weird.

01:09:35.520 You can...

01:09:36.040 Once I start thinking about it, you're...

01:09:38.320 Yeah, now I'm kind of freaking out a little bit.

01:09:39.880 Like, looking around.

01:09:40.880 Like, how does our tongue know everything?

01:09:43.120 And I think sometimes...

01:09:44.760 I said this to my kids the other day.

01:09:46.140 Sometimes, when I've got so much on, and because I've got ADHD as well, when I'm really overwhelmed, I can feel the front part of my brain.

01:09:58.780 I can actually feel it.

01:10:00.840 And when I think about that, I'm like, what other parts of me, if I think hard enough about them, can I feel that you don't usually think about?

01:10:09.220 Do you know what I mean?

01:10:09.560 Like, same with if I had a drink of water or something, free, and then someone tried to talk to me, and I had to answer them, and I couldn't swallow.

01:10:18.660 And I was like, going, hang on. 0.89

01:10:21.360 And then I went, I forgot how to fucking swallow all of a sudden, because... 0.95

01:10:25.440 Don't say that. 0.97

01:10:26.300 Because you don't have to think about swallowing, right?

01:10:29.120 It just happens.

01:10:29.860 So when you do think about it, you forget how to do it.

01:10:32.500 I'm boring myself.

01:10:33.440 But sometimes, I can feel the front part of my brain when I'm overthinking.

01:10:39.200 And I feel it's the same thing about that tongue thing.

01:10:41.120 I don't usually think that I can feel my tongue until I think about it.

01:10:44.520 Yeah.

01:10:45.400 We're going to put this part on the calm app to put people to sleep.

01:10:48.680 Yeah, welcome to calm app.

01:10:50.420 We would make a good calm app episode. 0.97

01:10:51.200 I'm so fucking sick of myself. 0.98

01:10:52.220 Jesus Christ. 0.98

01:10:53.020 Welcome to calm app. 1.00

01:10:54.880 Celeste's going to tell you about the front part of her fucking brain to put you to sleep. 1.00

01:10:57.820 You're in a beautiful, open field. 1.00

01:11:03.640 What's that, a bird?

01:11:05.560 What does that feel like on your tongue?

01:11:08.040 Calm down.

01:11:09.680 Dude, if we made a calm app episode, that'd be so fire.

01:11:13.260 Yeah.

01:11:13.840 It'd be so good, wouldn't it?

01:11:14.840 It would be so...

01:11:15.540 Harry Styles is on it. 0.99

01:11:17.160 He's on there doing calm app shit? 0.99

01:11:19.300 Yeah, but it's fucking great, because he reads you like a story. 0.99

01:11:23.780 And at the beginning of it, he's like, hello, Harry Styles here. 0.97

01:11:28.720 I'm going to read you a story. 0.98

01:11:30.360 And I'm like, fuck, all right, Harry, why don't you read me a little story? 0.99

01:11:34.900 It's really nice. 0.99

01:11:36.660 Wow.

01:11:37.120 Yeah.

01:11:38.580 Yeah, that would be good.

01:11:39.640 I'm trying to think of some good ones I would like to hear, maybe from Randy Quaid, maybe.

01:11:43.680 LeBron does one, too.

01:11:45.080 He does?

01:11:45.960 Yeah, it's good. 0.95

01:11:47.380 I feel like if Kai Sinat did one, it would be pretty fucking fire, too.

01:11:50.740 But yeah, I don't know what his would be like, maybe.

01:11:52.940 That would be great if everybody started making those.

01:11:56.660 Lots of people that do them.

01:11:58.340 Yeah.

01:11:58.700 Like, I was quite surprised when I saw it. 0.99

01:12:00.760 I was like, fuck, there must be money in that. 0.95

01:12:03.120 Do you do any impressions or impersonations, kind of? 0.99

01:12:06.840 I'm not that talented, unfortunately.

01:12:09.060 Did you ever try them?

01:12:10.060 Like, try to work on it for a while or think about it?

01:12:12.180 No.

01:12:13.000 No, not really. 0.98

01:12:14.680 I kind of, I had a little moment of wanting to do SNL back in the day before anyone gave a shit about who I was. 0.91

01:12:20.360 But I was like, I'm not really good at that stuff. 0.93

01:12:22.540 I fucking think it's amazing, though, people that do it. 0.63

01:12:24.800 It blows my mind. 0.97

01:12:25.680 Did you see Shane Gillis on there?

01:12:27.720 No.

01:12:28.180 Who's that?

01:12:28.780 He's an American comedian.

01:12:30.080 He's, like, a really entertaining guy, very funny.

01:12:32.820 He just, he had gotten kicked off of the show.

01:12:36.000 Like, they had hired him.

01:12:37.460 As, like, a cast member.

01:12:38.680 They hired him as a cast member a while, like, three years ago.

01:12:42.320 And then the next day they looked at some old episode from a podcast or something and said something on it and they took him off.

01:12:50.040 They said, we changed our minds.

01:12:52.320 And then he blew up since then and he has, like, a huge career.

01:12:56.380 And now they just had him back as a guest.

01:12:58.280 Oh, wow.

01:12:59.160 So.

01:12:59.700 Did he host?

01:13:00.680 Yeah, he hosted.

01:13:01.500 Yeah, right.

01:13:02.300 So I thought it was interesting.

01:13:03.160 I thought he was going to say at the last minute. 1.00

01:13:05.740 Fuck you. 1.00

01:13:06.380 Can't make it, guys. 1.00

01:13:07.040 Yeah.

01:13:07.560 Yeah.

01:13:08.020 Yeah, wow.

01:13:08.800 I kind of wished he would, but I don't know if that's just, like, a petty part of me that wished that.

01:13:12.800 I have that in me as well.

01:13:14.000 Yeah.

01:13:14.500 Sometimes that petty part of you just shows up, you know?

01:13:17.140 Oh, God, yeah.

01:13:18.080 Yeah.

01:13:18.740 Yeah, quite a lot for me.

01:13:20.420 I could be quite petty.

01:13:21.060 Does it feel like, um, Jesus.

01:13:25.980 Air conditioning.

01:13:27.240 Yeah.

01:13:28.080 Um, does it feel, is it really, you think?

01:13:31.220 What?

01:13:31.680 Like, now, when you think about it, because you've been traveling a lot, right?

01:13:35.400 You're in hotels.

01:13:36.080 You're on planes.

01:13:36.980 It just, like, my voice is busted.

01:13:39.600 And when I tour, the same thing.

01:13:41.620 It's the air conditioning.

01:13:42.300 It's just cold, synthetic air.

01:13:45.020 It's never right, is it?

01:13:45.960 No. 0.95

01:13:46.460 That's why when I get hotel rooms, I always try to get, like, an open-a-fucking-window. 0.96

01:13:50.440 Yeah? 0.94

01:13:51.080 Because it's been, like I say, four days I've been in a hotel or in a car or anything like that.

01:13:55.800 You know, studios are cold.

01:13:57.720 So, yeah, it just busts my voice.

01:13:59.540 Sometimes when I go to certain places, I'll stay in a place that doesn't have any air conditioning.

01:14:03.160 Mm-hmm. 0.82

01:14:03.420 And at first, you're like, this sucks. 0.99

01:14:06.780 Yeah. 0.82

01:14:07.020 But by, like, the second night, you kind of get into, like, this real natural sort of pattern, kind of.

01:14:12.100 Yeah.

01:14:12.340 And your body kind of self-regulates itself with heat and everything.

01:14:16.080 Yeah.

01:14:16.300 It's so much better for you.

01:14:17.880 But, yeah, it just, it buckles my voice.

01:14:20.840 I'm actually going to have some free water.

01:14:23.260 Did you see, well, you said you have ADHD, huh?

01:14:25.820 Mm-hmm.

01:14:26.560 And how'd you get it?

01:14:30.400 I just bought it at the store. 0.99

01:14:31.980 Just go down and fucking pick it up. 1.00

01:14:34.380 ADHD. 0.99

01:14:34.620 Oh, so it's not something that's developed?

01:14:35.960 No.

01:14:36.360 Born with it.

01:14:36.900 Well, I don't think I was born with it.

01:14:39.520 I was diagnosed at 16.

01:14:42.240 Been medicated on and off forever. 1.00

01:14:45.000 I fucking hate it. 1.00

01:14:45.820 You really? 1.00

01:14:46.820 Yeah.

01:14:47.260 I really struggle with it.

01:14:48.460 I find it really hard.

01:14:49.760 Like, how do you notice it?

01:14:50.940 Because sometimes I wonder, how do you notice it?

01:14:54.000 Like, where do you notice it?

01:14:56.220 Because 16 is kind of a young age to diagnose somebody with something, but that's how we do it.

01:15:00.180 And especially in the 90s as well.

01:15:02.420 Like, it's everywhere now, which is great.

01:15:05.140 You know, people talk about it so much now. 1.00

01:15:06.500 But back then, ADHD was just like, shut up and sit down, have a pill, fuck off. 1.00

01:15:12.480 It's not just a hyperactivity thing. 1.00

01:15:14.220 It's lacking in dopamine and all that.

01:15:16.220 And I just, I, I just run in circles.

01:15:19.700 I can't grab a thought.

01:15:22.580 I find it as I get older, it's kind of getting harder.

01:15:25.820 It's weird.

01:15:27.340 Like, as I say, I'm medicated for it.

01:15:30.860 But, um, I get the medication makes me anxious. 0.99

01:15:36.000 So it's like, well, which fucking devil do you choose to hang out with? 0.99

01:15:40.380 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:40.740 You're going to be like, well, I'll just be scattered and full on. 0.99

01:15:45.580 Or not as scattered, not as full on, but anxious as fuck. 1.00

01:15:50.540 Fuck. 0.99

01:15:51.000 And I don't know if it's a career thing as well, you know, with more success and all that, with so much going on and so much demand. 1.00

01:15:56.960 But I find it hard to cop a break with it.

01:16:00.920 It bums me hard.

01:16:02.260 See all this stuff online and people are like, ADHD, you know, it's my, I find it, it's like my superpower. 1.00

01:16:08.740 And I'm like, fuck you. 0.99

01:16:10.580 I don't find that at all. 1.00

01:16:12.420 People, again, I think it might be a social media thing.

01:16:15.800 It's like, it's great.

01:16:16.420 It means I can do that and do that and do that and do that.

01:16:18.780 And I'm like, I can't do that or that or half of that or any of that. 0.92

01:16:23.880 And, and, and I've got a heap of people that work for me and I fucking hate them all because they don't do enough for me. 0.93

01:16:28.260 They do it like, it's just, I find it exhausting and it's the dopamine thing. 0.99

01:16:35.100 I don't, we don't produce dopamine, that fucking drug that makes you happy. 1.00

01:16:40.220 Damn. 1.00

01:16:41.020 And it, it's, it's just, it's hard. 0.99

01:16:45.100 I find it really, really hard.

01:16:47.800 So people with ADHD don't produce dopamine?

01:16:50.680 I think we just don't quite, I think we are, it's harder.

01:16:54.740 It's a lot harder for us to produce dopamine.

01:16:57.140 Can you look it up?

01:16:57.620 Like 10 times harder, I think it is.

01:16:59.540 What? 0.98

01:16:59.940 And I, and I really, I feel that on a fucking cellular level. 0.99

01:17:05.100 Trying to write a standup show. 0.98

01:17:07.320 Like.

01:17:07.960 You need the dopamine.

01:17:09.100 You need the excitement.

01:17:10.200 You need the.

01:17:10.640 I need a brain that can work.

01:17:12.980 That can go.

01:17:14.420 That's funny.

01:17:15.080 That's funny.

01:17:15.640 Bring it in.

01:17:17.300 People with ADHD have at least one defective gene. 1.00

01:17:20.100 Oh damn. 1.00

01:17:20.760 Your shit's messed up. 1.00

01:17:21.880 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:22.120 We're fucking. 1.00

01:17:23.300 The DRD2. 1.00

01:17:24.540 God.

01:17:25.100 Gene makes it difficult for neurons to respond to dopamine.

01:17:28.620 The neurotransmitter that is involved in feelings of pleasure and the regulation of attention.

01:17:32.100 Can you please tell me, can you please tell me what, maybe they need to have at least.

01:17:35.660 See, I have to read it again.

01:17:37.980 Listen, can you please tell me what the DRD2 gene is?

01:17:42.540 Is that just, I wonder if that's what's in Ritlin.

01:17:46.640 Dopamine receptor D2, also known as D2R, is a protein that in humans is encoded by the DRD2 gene.

01:17:56.120 Yeah, dopamine.

01:17:57.520 The dopamine D2 receptor is the main receptor for most anti-psychotic drugs.

01:18:02.880 The structure of DR2 and complex with the atypical.

01:18:06.440 It's not helping me.

01:18:07.600 No.

01:18:08.020 It's so many words for me right now.

01:18:10.120 Yeah.

01:18:10.500 It's a lot.

01:18:12.420 Pretty, pretty pictures though.

01:18:14.560 You reckon I've got ADD.

01:18:16.500 I did.

01:18:17.060 I was like, they look like streamers.

01:18:18.740 That's what I thought when I looked at.

01:18:19.800 Yeah, because I just, I'd say, what if I take an antidepressant?

01:18:22.140 Because I got off like three months ago and then I just got back on like two days ago.

01:18:26.100 I just couldn't take it anymore.

01:18:28.120 I was on antidepressants.

01:18:30.800 Coming off though, I actually, my last stand-up show, I talk a lot about that. 0.99

01:18:34.880 That's no fucking joke, coming off those.

01:18:36.920 Did you find it really hard? 0.99

01:18:38.720 Yeah, I found it hard.

01:18:40.120 I found the harder part for me is realizing that I have to go back on right now because

01:18:45.120 I think I didn't want to have to be back on and traveling in Australia has been, it's

01:18:50.980 just been tough.

01:18:51.640 It's been tough to like, I had a good pattern of like fitness and stuff at home and I've

01:18:56.180 still been doing well, but just not as organized.

01:18:58.920 Your sleep patterns get off.

01:19:01.500 So it put me in a, like a real, I got into like, I got real angry and then I got like

01:19:07.520 in a real tough spot and I just didn't know what else to do.

01:19:11.340 So I was like, I think I just have to get back on them.

01:19:13.620 So I think part of me was really bummed out that I had to.

01:19:16.980 Yeah.

01:19:18.180 Yeah.

01:19:18.600 I, I understand that.

01:19:20.900 I remember when I had to go, I was on them, then I went off and went back on them and I

01:19:25.580 thought the same thing.

01:19:26.680 I was like, I don't want to be trapped on it.

01:19:29.500 I felt trapped on antidepressants because it takes so long to come off them.

01:19:33.600 Like coming off them, like it takes six weeks, you know, have to wean yourself off.

01:19:38.180 I was like, I just, I don't want to have to do that again.

01:19:40.980 Well, I got on them like 20 years ago.

01:19:42.740 So I'm like, have I just, and the tough part is I don't have a lot of feelings.

01:19:47.380 I'll have feelings, but it's hard to know what they are because the antidepressants kind

01:19:50.860 of just make everything feel the same.

01:19:52.520 Right.

01:19:53.000 And then a lot of times some feelings I don't process.

01:19:55.320 So I get in this tough spot where I'll get off the antidepressants so I can have some

01:19:59.700 feelings.

01:20:00.540 Right.

01:20:00.880 But then sometimes if I'm not careful, there's some pitfalls and that can get, you know,

01:20:05.960 pretty deep.

01:20:06.620 And so it's just tough because, and it's like, well, like I wanted to, like, I want to get,

01:20:13.340 you know, like married or something one day.

01:20:15.600 And so I start thinking, well, I don't even know how I feel about people sometimes.

01:20:19.440 Like if I'm dating, it's hard for me to even know because it's just hard for me to access

01:20:22.800 my feelings.

01:20:23.880 It's, yeah, they're numbing, aren't they?

01:20:25.900 Blunting.

01:20:26.620 They blunt.

01:20:27.340 Yeah.

01:20:27.480 Everything kind of feels the same.

01:20:28.640 It's like, oh man, I just saw that dog get hit by a bus or do I like Sharon?

01:20:33.940 You know?

01:20:34.340 Yeah, exactly.

01:20:35.560 It's the same feeling.

01:20:37.280 You're trying.

01:20:37.820 So, so I was like, I have to get off of these or I'm just going to be stuck in this cycle

01:20:42.400 of not knowing how I feel about someone, you know?

01:20:46.400 Yeah.

01:20:46.740 But then it's got, it's just gotten too steep recently.

01:20:49.040 So I'm going to get back on.

01:20:50.580 I am back on now and then maybe I'll get off whenever I get back home.

01:20:53.340 See, I'm, when I'm touring, I'm in the best routine.

01:20:57.120 Isn't that weird?

01:20:57.840 Wow. 0.69

01:20:59.080 When I'm at home, I'm so fucking scattered with the kids and life and just to, and I 0.96

01:21:05.760 think cause I probably have my husband there as well. 0.98

01:21:07.320 I'm like, help.

01:21:08.660 And is a husband helpful or is a husband not helpful?

01:21:11.820 No, he's brilliant.

01:21:12.660 Let's get to the bottom of it.

01:21:14.160 Yeah.

01:21:14.520 That's the only reason I'm here.

01:21:16.100 Really?

01:21:16.360 Yeah.

01:21:17.140 Always with the children.

01:21:18.360 To tell you how great my, yeah. 1.00

01:21:20.260 Damn. 0.99

01:21:20.840 He's all time. 1.00

01:21:21.840 No, he's brilliant.

01:21:22.460 Is it hard to love somebody after you're like married for a while or does it get different

01:21:27.640 kind of?

01:21:29.360 It's not hard to love him.

01:21:31.880 We've been together for 20 years.

01:21:33.200 Oh, wow.

01:21:33.680 I think, I mean, he's the only thing I've committed to and not, I'm not, I don't just mean person,

01:21:42.060 I mean thing.

01:21:43.680 I, ADHD, you can't, I don't know how to.

01:21:46.320 Oh, yeah.

01:21:47.040 Really, really, really, really crave stability, yet I'm fucking terrified by it, but I need

01:21:54.500 it.

01:21:55.520 So, it's, and I have that with him.

01:21:59.840 So, it's different, sure.

01:22:03.220 Yeah.

01:22:03.560 But it's, it's, I'm, I love, yeah, stability and I get that from him.

01:22:10.100 Oh, that's nice.

01:22:10.960 It's so great.

01:22:11.940 And he's, yeah.

01:22:12.520 Was it hard to make that decision?

01:22:13.960 Yeah.

01:22:14.120 Cause I think I have like a tough time with commitment. 0.97

01:22:16.180 I just, it's like fucking the last thing I want to do. 0.92

01:22:19.780 Well, I think I'm a goal orientated person as well. 0.98

01:22:23.380 So, like, I'd kind of met him and went, let's go.

01:22:26.620 I also felt pregnant, so we got married.

01:22:29.320 Oh, you did?

01:22:30.040 Yeah.

01:22:30.260 But we were together for.

01:22:33.000 Two months.

01:22:34.500 Yeah.

01:22:35.380 Week and a half.

01:22:36.320 No, um, eight years.

01:22:39.100 Wow.

01:22:40.180 Yeah.

01:22:40.780 Ages.

01:22:41.540 Long distance.

01:22:42.200 We've always been long distance.

01:22:43.180 You have?

01:22:44.060 Yeah.

01:22:44.480 Something kind of nice about it.

01:22:45.340 It's almost sort of a romantic and long distance.

01:22:46.640 Like you're coming back from war.

01:22:48.140 Yeah.

01:22:48.720 He's going off with the troops or whatever.

01:22:50.680 Absolutely.

01:22:51.200 He's at home making things for me, making it nice.

01:22:54.180 Making the weapons?

01:22:54.800 Yeah.

01:22:55.620 Making the pie that I eat when I come in.

01:23:00.580 And so, now with touring and being away for work, we're kind of used to it.

01:23:05.080 Yeah.

01:23:05.620 Yeah.

01:23:06.380 Do Australian comedians feel like they have to go to America?

01:23:08.880 Do you have to get that American audience?

01:23:10.520 Is there like a feeling like that?

01:23:11.980 I don't, um, I don't think so.

01:23:14.820 I mean, for me, yes, because my audience is there because of the internet, but there's

01:23:18.780 some fucking brilliant Australian comics, some of my favorite, that are here and are 0.68

01:23:24.120 killing it here and don't have to go anywhere. 0.98

01:23:25.980 Oh, that's nice. 0.99

01:23:26.520 I mean, I'm sure they probably want to go do what they want to do, but they're killing

01:23:29.980 it here.

01:23:30.280 They don't need to.

01:23:31.220 Because it's a smaller pool as well.

01:23:33.080 So, you know, a lot of our comedians are all on TV as well.

01:23:37.520 They get great, you know, jobs on telly. 0.98

01:23:39.420 They don't need to worry about fucking off over there. 0.99

01:23:41.720 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:42.500 Yeah.

01:23:42.740 I know.

01:23:43.340 It's so nice here.

01:23:44.060 It's so safe.

01:23:45.100 That's the craziest thing.

01:23:46.240 It's like, you can go somewhere and you're not going to get killed. 1.00

01:23:50.180 Well, yeah, by a gun, you might buy a fucking shark. 1.00

01:23:53.440 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:23:54.120 But you're going to notice that your pants are getting wet first before you're like- 0.99

01:23:57.800 When you go swimming in the ocean, you're like, today might be the fucking day. 0.99

01:23:59.940 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:00.360 Yeah.

01:24:00.680 Yeah.

01:24:01.040 But not just walking down the street.

01:24:02.420 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:02.560 You know, it's milling in a park and it's some fucking- 0.99

01:24:05.060 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

01:24:06.040 Tarantula just runs at your face. 0.98

01:24:07.240 A dope shark just rolls up on you, you know? 1.00

01:24:09.740 Fucking alligator comes after you. 1.00

01:24:11.280 Oh, we have a- 1.00

01:24:11.880 Yeah, it's one of our most dangerous animals over there is just homeless people and-

01:24:16.860 Is the gun.

01:24:17.940 Drugs and the gun.

01:24:19.380 Can you imagine if guns were all over your country? 1.00

01:24:22.760 I fucking can't. 0.99

01:24:24.560 When I'm over there, I'm in the States, I'm like- 0.99

01:24:27.520 We rolled into a place when I was doing a show on the last tour and 500 meters down the street,

01:24:35.440 there was a shooting at the local mall.

01:24:39.040 Yeah. 0.92

01:24:39.540 And I was like, are we alerting authorities to get me the fuck out of here?

01:24:43.080 Like, you know, it's the biggest thing in the world for us.

01:24:48.020 It's the biggest-

01:24:48.700 If there's a shooting-

01:24:50.840 We're in New South Wales. 1.00

01:24:51.800 If there's a shooting in fucking Queensland, I'm telling you, siren- 1.00

01:24:55.020 Alarms will go off here. 1.00

01:24:56.140 Oh, yeah.

01:24:57.600 It's-

01:24:58.120 And I remember then these women came to my show that night and I do a meet and greet after 0.96

01:25:02.060 and it's that thing as well.

01:25:03.320 Do I talk about it when I get on stage?

01:25:06.600 What do I do?

01:25:07.140 It was so close by. 0.99

01:25:08.560 Like, three people were fucking shot and killed. 0.99

01:25:11.120 Oh, sorry. 0.99

01:25:11.620 I didn't know to regard it. 0.99

01:25:12.360 No, but like, it's like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:25:15.980 Yeah. 0.99

01:25:16.500 And then I, you know, you make the decision not to talk about it because it's like,

01:25:20.040 I'm giving you guys an hour of laughter and I don't want to be that Australian that comes 1.00

01:25:24.120 in and goes, you guys are fucked. 1.00

01:25:25.540 And then I did a meet and greet and there was this group of women after. 1.00

01:25:29.600 And they were carrying a casket.

01:25:31.100 Yeah.

01:25:31.700 And I was like, that's really full on with what happened.

01:25:35.700 And they just glazed over.

01:25:37.560 They didn't care. 0.99

01:25:38.300 Well, no, they just, you have to, because they're going to put their kids on a fucking 0.99

01:25:41.560 school bus the next day and send them off to school. 0.99

01:25:44.500 It's like, yeah.

01:25:45.440 Anyway, do you miss your kids when you travel without them?

01:25:48.100 I'm like, oh, you guys have different coping mechanisms than we have.

01:25:52.560 It's built different.

01:25:53.800 Oh, well, no, it's gotten extremely just severe and bizarre over there.

01:25:58.160 It blows my mind.

01:25:59.700 People are like wishing their children well and like getting them like Kevlar and stuff

01:26:03.740 for Christmas and like bullet resistant things.

01:26:06.660 It's just.

01:26:07.160 And all the debates that go on after there's a shooting, they're like, well, you know why

01:26:10.380 this is?

01:26:10.920 It's because some random man had an issue once with his mother and found a, and I'm

01:26:18.100 like, what's the end of that?

01:26:19.000 What's the end of that sentence?

01:26:20.320 A gun. 1.00

01:26:21.860 You fuckheads. 1.00

01:26:23.080 Like what the fuck? 1.00

01:26:26.200 I agree with you, but how would you get rid? 0.99

01:26:29.040 That's the problem is at this point, there's, there's no. 1.00

01:26:33.260 No, you, you, you fuck. 1.00

01:26:34.400 You're so far in with the NRA and everyone's all up in everyone. 1.00

01:26:37.960 It's like, how would you get all the guns?

01:26:39.640 Well, we did a buyback system in Australia.

01:26:41.440 You did?

01:26:41.700 We had a mass shooting, Port Arthur, 96, was it?

01:26:46.460 Oh.

01:26:47.020 And, um, it was the greatest mass shooting we've had in this country.

01:26:50.920 And then our government did a buyback system. 0.99

01:26:54.020 You got $300 for everyone who brought in their fucking guns and they fucking, sure. 0.99

01:26:58.620 There's psychos who were like, no one gets my gun, but we did a buyback system. 1.00

01:27:03.040 In America, I bet you would get 20,000 guns. 0.99

01:27:06.660 Shot in the face. 0.99

01:27:06.900 Hey, I have an idea. 1.00

01:27:11.040 Fuck off. 1.00

01:27:11.880 Okay. 1.00

01:27:12.400 Yeah.

01:27:13.140 You would get, you're right. 1.00

01:27:14.640 Shot in the fucking face. 1.00

01:27:18.840 You got to cut all this out because now I'm terrified when I go to America, I'm going to 1.00

01:27:22.120 shot in the fucking face. 1.00

01:27:22.580 No, you're not getting shot. 1.00

01:27:23.520 I sent a DM to Pablo Escobar's wife when she got out of prison and I haven't been killed

01:27:27.120 yet.

01:27:28.100 So I didn't know.

01:27:29.420 I thought she was single. 0.96

01:27:30.240 I thought. 1.00

01:27:30.680 Oh, you sent it like a fucking DM. 0.99

01:27:33.420 I mean, I didn't say like. 0.99

01:27:34.580 Oh, I thought you were like, congratulations.

01:27:36.020 He's out.

01:27:36.400 I wish you both all the best now that.

01:27:38.700 Oh, dude.

01:27:39.680 I just said, hola mama.

01:27:42.380 But still, I think, yeah, people could perceive that wrong.

01:27:44.820 But like, I.

01:27:45.760 I, yeah, you're going to be fine.

01:27:48.640 But yeah, it's so crazy.

01:27:50.300 You don't realize how less stress I feel being here.

01:27:53.180 It's like, I don't even want to go back.

01:27:55.440 Part of me doesn't even want. 0.68

01:27:56.540 It's so fucking scary. 0.75

01:27:57.900 You don't realize that there's always this thought in the back of your head that somebody's 0.97

01:28:01.780 going to just.

01:28:02.240 He's got a gun.

01:28:02.860 I think.

01:28:03.440 And the shooters are the worst.

01:28:04.860 They show up. 0.91

01:28:05.460 They killed 19 people. 0.85

01:28:06.840 They're just trying to shoot one guy. 1.00

01:28:08.500 Fucking hell. 1.00

01:28:09.320 They have the worst aim. 1.00

01:28:10.340 We've got to start training these kids.

01:28:12.380 To shoot better.

01:28:17.000 I'm going to stay out of that one.

01:28:18.580 I reckon I got in and out.

01:28:20.260 I'm doing everything I can to get the fuck out of this now.

01:28:24.000 Cancel my tour.

01:28:24.620 I'm not going.

01:28:25.420 I don't even care.

01:28:25.980 I don't know what the solution is.

01:28:27.920 But yes, we.

01:28:28.960 I do. 1.00

01:28:30.320 Fucking guns. 1.00

01:28:31.720 I agree with you. 1.00

01:28:32.360 But how do you get rid of them?

01:28:34.420 Because the criminals are not going to turn them in.

01:28:36.380 And the guy that's afraid the criminal isn't going to turn it in, isn't going to turn

01:28:39.780 it in.

01:28:39.980 Don't you have incentives to buy guns over there?

01:28:42.260 You open a bank account.

01:28:43.240 You get a gun.

01:28:44.540 Maybe start there.

01:28:45.680 People don't want.

01:28:46.440 Yeah.

01:28:46.660 Nobody would.

01:28:48.000 It's just too ingrained in the culture.

01:28:49.860 Yeah.

01:28:50.140 No one's going to like it.

01:28:51.360 It's like having a belly button.

01:28:52.480 Right? 1.00

01:28:53.800 If you try to take somebody's fucking belly button. 1.00

01:28:56.480 You get shot in the face. 1.00

01:28:58.840 People would be pretty TO'd or pissed off. 0.98

01:29:01.760 Have you seen.

01:29:02.460 I'm sure you have.

01:29:03.240 It's very popular.

01:29:05.060 Jim Jeffries bit on gun control in America.

01:29:08.300 It's good.

01:29:09.160 He's so good.

01:29:10.780 He's such a legend.

01:29:11.700 Have you gotten to meet him?

01:29:12.940 No. 0.97

01:29:13.660 That bit he does is fucking brilliant. 0.97

01:29:16.620 It terrifies me though when I'm over there. 0.96

01:29:18.300 I'm not going to lie.

01:29:18.520 It's very scary.

01:29:19.040 It terrifies us.

01:29:20.020 It's really not cool.

01:29:20.980 I run my mouth.

01:29:22.220 I run my mouth a lot.

01:29:23.300 When I get there, I'm like, well, I can't because I don't know.

01:29:25.420 But you guys are charming.

01:29:26.620 You guys are like a, like a, like a, like when the, you know, when the, um, the, the rare

01:29:32.460 white wombat comes to the zoo or whatever.

01:29:35.240 Is that hard?

01:29:36.360 I feel like that's what it's like when Australians come. 1.00

01:29:38.280 People want to go see what's going on.

01:29:39.760 Look at them.

01:29:40.240 They're in the cage.

01:29:41.300 Yeah.

01:29:41.320 You're fun.

01:29:42.200 You got your fun.

01:29:43.020 Yeah.

01:29:43.140 Give them a celery, you know?

01:29:45.200 Are they all British? 0.98

01:29:46.020 I just feel like people are so intrigued about seeing you guys, but there is a peacefulness

01:29:52.260 over here.

01:29:53.800 What else is it about it?

01:29:55.440 Have you been to New Zealand?

01:29:56.820 Yeah.

01:29:57.060 We went to New Zealand.

01:29:58.460 That's where it's at. 0.97

01:30:00.200 I fucking love NZ. 0.97

01:30:01.400 It's beautiful. 0.97

01:30:02.940 And it's-

01:30:03.780 I love it over there.

01:30:04.400 Very unique.

01:30:05.620 It's magical.

01:30:06.700 I'd move there in a heartbeat.

01:30:08.100 We went to Auckland as well and you meet people who are saying, making sounds and they

01:30:16.040 don't know what they're saying.

01:30:17.640 Or there's, they're using only vowels.

01:30:20.440 I met people who use only vowels.

01:30:21.600 Yeah, right.

01:30:22.260 What do you want, honey?

01:30:25.120 Zero consonants.

01:30:26.380 You're like, wow. 1.00

01:30:27.800 Come fucking out. 1.00

01:30:29.100 You look like a fucking witch then. 1.00

01:30:30.780 Oh, I saw a guy, he's sprained his fucking spine trying to finish a sentence over there. 1.00

01:30:35.800 I think you just maybe ran into someone who happened to be on fucking ice. 0.99

01:30:39.700 Like that doesn't- 0.99

01:30:40.900 That's not how New Zealanders speak.

01:30:43.960 It could have been- 0.99

01:30:45.160 Like the one dude who's on fucking meth in the street you rock up and talk to. 0.99

01:30:49.160 There could have been some Tranky's going on. 0.99

01:30:54.020 Let's bring up that one video of this girl. 0.95

01:30:57.360 Do you see this video of this young lady?

01:30:58.880 It's so funny.

01:31:00.020 When you're putting your mind to it, you know exactly what to do indoors.

01:31:04.480 How was that for you?

01:31:05.760 Oh, it was amazing.

01:31:06.740 I mean, it was such a strong race.

01:31:08.640 We were all running so fast, multiple running in the 50s.

01:31:11.520 So I knew I had to go out fast.

01:31:13.200 I'd look in front of me.

01:31:14.120 So I wanted to be in front and I could hear how far she was behind me. 1.00

01:31:17.460 I don't-

01:31:18.960 Oh, boy.

01:31:19.480 Hang on.

01:31:21.600 Where's she from?

01:31:23.220 What accent is that?

01:31:24.320 I can't get past the-

01:31:25.760 That's Disney's, bro.

01:31:27.220 She's from Disney.

01:31:28.860 Oh, boy.

01:31:30.260 Sorry.

01:31:30.740 Can you play-

01:31:31.560 Let's play it again.

01:31:32.420 Is that all right if we could play it again?

01:31:33.240 For the children of that. 0.99

01:31:34.200 I just need to fucking know- 0.99

01:31:35.840 Again, you know what I can feel right now? 1.00

01:31:37.340 The front part of my fucking brain. 1.00

01:31:38.480 Mind to me. 1.00

01:31:38.920 You know exactly what to do-

01:31:40.300 She's British.

01:31:41.460 Indoors. 0.99

01:31:42.040 How was that for you?

01:31:43.080 What are you?

01:31:43.320 It was amazing.

01:31:44.300 I mean, it was such a strong race.

01:31:46.180 We were all running so fast, multiple running in the 50s.

01:31:49.060 So I knew I had to go out fast.

01:31:50.740 I'd look in front of me.

01:31:51.720 So I wanted to be in front and I could hear how far she was behind me. 1.00

01:31:55.100 So I was like, okay.

01:31:56.000 Look at her mate. 0.99

01:31:56.540 This is how we keep going.

01:31:57.640 And this crowd is so amazing. 1.00

01:31:59.060 Her mate's like, you've put the mic on the wrong, bitch. 1.00

01:32:02.620 That's Mickey Mouse. 1.00

01:32:03.980 You know, when she's not doing that, she's a suit operator at fucking Disneyland of Mickey Mouse. 0.99

01:32:07.280 She's got to be. 0.99

01:32:08.180 That's amazing.

01:32:09.820 See?

01:32:10.140 You could convince yourself Mickey Mouse has just broken the 400 meter indoor world record.

01:32:15.760 Fans react as Femke Bowl. 0.64

01:32:18.040 Femke Bowl's interview.

01:32:20.380 Oh, Glasgow.

01:32:21.540 She's-

01:32:21.820 Oh, she's Scottish. 0.59

01:32:24.140 Glasgow.

01:32:25.740 Have you toured her over there in the UK?

01:32:27.640 Yeah.

01:32:27.880 Oh, boy.

01:32:29.220 Yeah.

01:32:29.680 But I've never been so tired.

01:32:31.060 I've just been like- 0.97

01:32:31.980 Fucking love her over there. 1.00

01:32:32.600 Right? 0.99

01:32:33.760 That was fucking great. 0.99

01:32:37.720 I know. 0.99

01:32:37.960 With the American- 0.99

01:32:38.620 Oh, hang on.

01:32:39.120 American cartoon character.

01:32:40.480 The Dutch runner in the world championships with a world record of 49.24 seconds in the

01:32:46.280 400, but blew past the timing again in Glasgow.

01:32:49.300 What happened?

01:32:50.140 I want to know what happened 30 seconds before that interview.

01:32:54.080 Did she rock up? 0.75

01:32:55.080 And they were like, let's do an interview.

01:32:56.700 And her mate was like-

01:32:57.860 It was amazing.

01:32:58.720 I'm such a strong man.

01:32:58.740 Her mate was like, I don't reckon we need to do an interview.

01:33:01.060 I reckon we're good.

01:33:01.740 But Mickey Mouse was like, oh, I have a crack.

01:33:03.400 And they're like, no, we've already achieved so much.

01:33:05.880 We just nailed it.

01:33:06.800 And she's like, you guys never let me do interviews.

01:33:09.420 Can I do an interview?

01:33:10.340 And they're like, all right.

01:33:12.320 Gird your loins.

01:33:13.100 Here she is.

01:33:13.840 It's a small world after all.

01:33:16.560 That's crazy, man.

01:33:17.600 That's funny.

01:33:18.540 Any other news, guys?

01:33:19.980 Anything else that's going on?

01:33:21.680 No, that's the only thing that's going on in the world. 0.99

01:33:23.760 Fucking Mickey Mouse went for a run. 0.98

01:33:25.260 I mean, there's other biggest stuff we could talk about. 0.99

01:33:30.620 Oh, yeah.

01:33:31.180 They went to the zoo.

01:33:32.680 Oh, yeah.

01:33:33.020 I saw that.

01:33:33.640 Great.

01:33:33.960 Well done.

01:33:34.840 Not surprised.

01:33:35.560 I think it's like an Australian tradition coming here and going to the zoo, huh?

01:33:39.860 Yeah, I think so.

01:33:40.540 It's a pretty cool zoo.

01:33:41.820 Oh, it's pretty.

01:33:42.340 It's like a sanctuary as well.

01:33:43.940 They do conservation. 0.98

01:33:44.920 They do some fucking great work there. 0.96

01:33:46.340 I thought it was way hands-on. 0.98

01:33:47.880 I was kind of surprised.

01:33:49.340 And yeah, it's like you really get close to some animalia.

01:33:53.180 The Kelsey man has a brother.

01:33:55.640 Is that correct?

01:33:56.500 Mm-hmm.

01:33:57.060 And did he just retire from something?

01:33:58.680 And yeah, he plays football.

01:34:01.800 He played for the NFL for the Philadelphia Eagles.

01:34:04.500 Is that the same team as the other Kelsey man?

01:34:06.300 No, different brother.

01:34:06.920 That just won the Super Bowl?

01:34:07.960 No.

01:34:08.920 Because I saw his press.

01:34:11.240 Very tear-filled.

01:34:12.280 I thought his mother had died.

01:34:15.060 It was a lot of tears. 0.99

01:34:16.480 I was like, we all fucking retire. 0.95

01:34:19.300 Yeah, what happened? 0.95

01:34:21.800 It meant a lot to him.

01:34:22.900 But it's everywhere.

01:34:23.780 He went through a lot of stuff.

01:34:24.740 He went through like also he talked about like his family.

01:34:27.500 He got real deep into it.

01:34:29.300 I think sometimes it's almost you wonder though like are they trying to get them to do more now?

01:34:36.000 I thought it was very genuine and touching.

01:34:38.120 But yeah, he had a lot of.

01:34:39.880 Look, I thought it was very genuine and very touching.

01:34:42.260 I just didn't need to hear it.

01:34:44.300 I was like maybe on a podcast like, you know, you're going on later and having a chat to someone about.

01:34:47.740 But it went on and on.

01:34:50.080 We had no cousins.

01:34:51.040 It was just me and my brother and we just like just come out and make the announcement.

01:34:55.800 All right, I'm done.

01:34:56.380 It's been a great season.

01:34:57.400 It's been a great 40 years and I've been playing catch-ups. 1.00

01:34:59.700 Bitch, you're still fucking crying. 1.00

01:35:01.400 Like it just went on for me. 1.00

01:35:03.820 International Women's Day, so disrespectful. 1.00

01:35:05.400 Oh, that's a good point on International Women's Day. 0.97

01:35:09.600 Do you think that people are less emotional in Australia?

01:35:13.040 No, I think we're still pretty emotional.

01:35:15.400 Yeah?

01:35:16.160 Yeah, I just don't think.

01:35:18.000 We have as much media attention on it.

01:35:20.220 Like, you know what I mean?

01:35:21.000 Oh, that's a good point.

01:35:21.260 And especially him.

01:35:22.480 It's kind of interesting the side effects of like, because I've always thought Travis Kelsey like darker women, right? 0.91

01:35:30.300 That's always been the.

01:35:32.380 I don't know the man.

01:35:33.680 Like if he ate an Oreo, he would just eat the sides.

01:35:36.960 Oh, right.

01:35:37.700 Well, he's not now.

01:35:40.020 You know.

01:35:40.700 Not now.

01:35:41.280 I mean, now he's going heavy cream.

01:35:43.540 Yeah.

01:35:43.760 Yeah.

01:35:44.320 He's going full cream.

01:35:45.700 Yeah.

01:35:46.580 So it's just, I think a lot of people, I, yeah, I think there's a lot of like, a lot of people wondering the reality behind that.

01:35:53.780 Like, is it real?

01:35:55.140 You know?

01:35:56.080 Yeah, I think a lot. 0.99

01:35:57.280 Fucking hell. 0.98

01:35:57.840 And you don't know with the media, you don't know what their strategy is. 0.99

01:36:00.380 You don't know what their plan is.

01:36:01.540 You know?

01:36:01.880 They could easily approach people and say, this is what we want to do.

01:36:05.300 Yeah.

01:36:06.320 You know? 0.82

01:36:06.620 Well, Australia shat themselves when he flew in for one of her concerts. 0.86

01:36:12.420 Well, yeah, that's the crazy part. 0.85

01:36:13.600 I just wonder what his life is going to be like now, because that's a level, I feel like, of fame that's kind of like miserable.

01:36:22.040 And every interview is asking about her.

01:36:24.460 Every.

01:36:25.260 And it will be for the rest of his life.

01:36:26.700 Yeah.

01:36:27.240 It's Taylor Swift.

01:36:28.920 You can't fight that.

01:36:29.680 I wonder if you think about that before you, but maybe you don't.

01:36:33.480 I don't know.

01:36:33.860 I'm just thinking out loud, you know?

01:36:36.100 I mean, if you're really in love, you don't.

01:36:38.200 Well, that's what I was going to say. 1.00

01:36:39.140 If you love someone, you're like, fuck, whatever. 1.00

01:36:40.980 Who cares? 0.99

01:36:41.680 But I think if you go in with it, with an idea of it being an arrangement, then it's different.

01:36:47.440 So maybe it is love.

01:36:48.500 Do you know what I mean?

01:36:49.020 If you don't, if you love someone, you just go into it and then you find yourself in interviews, always talking about them, always talking about your relationship.

01:36:58.420 Yeah.

01:36:59.820 Gosh.

01:37:00.780 Gosh.

01:37:01.520 Oh, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, that level of fame. 1.00

01:37:05.560 Fuck. 1.00

01:37:06.120 I couldn't do it. 1.00

01:37:08.000 Yeah.

01:37:08.900 Could you?

01:37:09.200 It feels like a lot.

01:37:09.980 No.

01:37:11.460 No.

01:37:12.660 Oh, no.

01:37:13.240 It already, sometimes it's weird when it starts to feel like your own name doesn't even belong to you anymore.

01:37:17.760 Does that make any sense to you?

01:37:18.780 It makes absolute sense to me. 0.99

01:37:20.200 Even when I'm on a fucking phone call, calling, you know, a kid's school. 0.98

01:37:25.400 Hi, Celeste Barber. 1.00

01:37:26.500 Like, shut up. 0.97

01:37:27.140 Like, I feel like it going, can I speak to so-and-so? 0.98

01:37:29.980 Or, yeah, saying, even saying my name now feels kind of weird.

01:37:34.380 Yeah.

01:37:34.860 When my mates are like, we will get a table somewhere, they're like, say, Celeste Barber. 1.00

01:37:39.900 Like, no.

01:37:40.740 And they're like, we do? 0.98

01:37:41.640 What do you fucking mean you do? 0.98

01:37:43.080 You're not even there? 0.99

01:37:44.080 I'm not there.

01:37:44.980 I'm in America. 0.99

01:37:45.740 How do you mean you've got the fucking table at Nobu in Sydney? 0.99

01:37:48.300 They're like, no, it's fine. 0.99

01:37:49.280 And then they just spend the whole time at dinner going, she's coming.

01:37:54.960 That's actually a great idea.

01:37:56.560 Yeah.

01:37:56.880 If you're waiting for a table out there, make sure you say...

01:38:01.240 Adele.

01:38:02.000 Yeah.

01:38:02.720 Adele.

01:38:03.180 You get a table with Adele.

01:38:05.540 Well, I'm glad I got to have a table for a little while today with Celeste Barber.

01:38:09.600 Thanks for meeting up.

01:38:11.160 I know you have a lot going on, and I know you have to go home to your son's birthday.

01:38:14.780 Yeah, and his football game.

01:38:16.080 No, it was good.

01:38:16.540 It was good to come in.

01:38:17.240 It was good to meet.

01:38:17.760 I hope we made it work.

01:38:18.780 Thanks for moving it as well.

01:38:19.940 I know you had to move it around a bit for me.

01:38:21.440 I appreciate it.

01:38:21.980 That's all right.

01:38:22.440 I'm glad that we got to.

01:38:23.740 Yeah, I was trying to learn as much as I could about Australia,

01:38:26.540 but I think we talked about Australia some, huh?

01:38:28.940 Yeah.

01:38:29.860 You're going to do, like, Great Barrier Reef or Great Ocean Road,

01:38:34.240 any of those sort of things while you're here?

01:38:35.440 I think the next time I come, I'm going to come back one more time.

01:38:37.720 And make it a thing.

01:38:38.880 Yeah. 0.94

01:38:39.460 Just one more time before you die. 0.92

01:38:41.260 Well, I don't know. 0.90

01:38:42.640 I mean, I might come back more than that.

01:38:44.660 I used to have a dream I would meet my wife in Australia.

01:38:47.060 Yeah, right.

01:38:47.680 But I think a lot of people romanticize stuff like that, you know?

01:38:50.760 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

01:38:51.940 Yeah, no.

01:38:52.520 It'd be nice, but you never know.

01:38:53.520 But I think the first time I came, I did shows like,

01:38:57.540 and it was like travel show the same day, that sort of thing.

01:39:00.200 It was way too hard on me.

01:39:01.680 It's too much.

01:39:02.340 That's my last tour.

01:39:03.460 I did that.

01:39:04.140 It's way too hard.

01:39:05.060 And so this time we slowed it down.

01:39:07.940 And it's been awesome.

01:39:09.460 Got to be at the Gold Coast and see different places

01:39:13.420 and spend a little bit more time in different cities.

01:39:15.500 But then it also gets kind of long.

01:39:17.300 You know, you're going for three weeks and you're like.

01:39:19.700 Yeah.

01:39:20.260 But my biggest audiences are in Australia.

01:39:22.780 Yeah, right.

01:39:24.080 Mine are in the States.

01:39:25.120 Look at that.

01:39:25.920 Wow.

01:39:26.340 Isn't that weird?

01:39:27.720 Yeah, that's the goal, isn't it?

01:39:28.740 To slow it down so you can kind of live and enjoy work. 1.00

01:39:31.200 But like I was saying, I can't with fucking kids. 1.00

01:39:33.080 And living so far away. 0.99

01:39:35.960 Where did you go on the Gold Coast?

01:39:37.520 We went to Paradise Cove or something.

01:39:42.220 Surfers Paradise.

01:39:43.100 Surfers, yeah.

01:39:43.940 Yeah.

01:39:44.140 It was good.

01:39:44.660 We got some electric bikes and we got to ride out onto the water,

01:39:47.560 like onto the beach.

01:39:48.500 Yeah, wow.

01:39:49.660 It was unreal.

01:39:51.520 It might have been the neatest thing I've ever done.

01:39:52.780 I literally felt like I was on the moon,

01:39:54.840 which we've never been to. 0.99

01:39:56.280 Fucking magic beaches we have up there. 0.99

01:39:58.700 I'm up. 0.99

01:39:59.100 That's where I live up there.

01:39:59.980 Really?

01:40:00.380 It's just like.

01:40:01.740 Oh.

01:40:02.720 Yeah, I know. 0.97

01:40:03.720 It was so fucking good. 1.00

01:40:05.880 I just wanted to just rip my fucking penis off. 1.00

01:40:12.920 Oh, there we are. 1.00

01:40:13.660 That's how I felt, really.

01:40:16.300 Oh, you might find your wife up there.

01:40:17.820 Who knows?

01:40:18.720 Yeah, I just, yeah.

01:40:19.620 For some reason, when I'm having a good time, 1.00

01:40:21.000 I literally want to rip my penis off 1.00

01:40:22.700 and just throw it into whatever I'm having fun at. 1.00

01:40:24.660 A kangaroo.

01:40:26.260 Just whip it at a kangaroo at a sanctuary.

01:40:29.160 Nah, those kangaroos are too dangerous, dude. 1.00

01:40:30.660 Yeah, they'll fuck you up. 1.00

01:40:32.840 All right, so let's bother. 0.98

01:40:33.820 People can watch your special on Netflix.

01:40:35.320 They can check out your tour.

01:40:36.580 Now, will this also be coming to the States?

01:40:39.120 Yeah, I'm there 2nd of May.

01:40:41.060 Oh, okay.

01:40:41.560 Netflix is a joke.

01:40:42.480 Oh, that's right.

01:40:42.960 You start then.

01:40:43.160 And then touring for two months.

01:40:44.700 Okay, sweet.

01:40:45.380 May, June. 1.00

01:40:46.800 Yeah, buy fucking tickets. 0.99

01:40:48.100 TheLessBaba.com, please. 1.00

01:40:49.220 Yeah, TheLessBaba.com, please.

01:40:51.480 I've enjoyed spending time with her.

01:40:52.600 I'm sure you guys will, too.

01:40:53.620 And thank you so much.

01:40:54.800 Thanks.

01:40:54.920 And happy birthday to your son.

01:40:56.000 How old is he going to be?

01:40:56.800 Ten.

01:40:57.380 Oh, wow.

01:40:58.020 That's such a big age.

01:40:59.000 Yeah, double digits.

01:41:00.420 God, he's growing up.

01:41:01.360 His name's Buddy.

01:41:02.580 It is a real name for someone. 0.99

01:41:04.100 It's fucking Buddy. 0.99

01:41:05.540 Wow. 1.00

01:41:06.020 That's the best thing about Australia.

01:41:07.140 People have names like Buddy and Poppy and Lily.

01:41:09.860 Yeah, in America when we're there and my other son's name is Lou.

01:41:13.900 They're like, hey, Buddy.

01:41:14.820 And Lou's like, no, that's him.

01:41:16.800 And Buddy's like, how does everyone know my name in America?

01:41:20.240 In America we have names like Bullet and Casket. 0.99

01:41:23.800 Yeah, and fucking Stud and Tard. 1.00

01:41:27.540 Yeah, and Cock. 1.00

01:41:28.620 And Chunk. 1.00

01:41:33.580 All right.

01:41:34.260 Cheers, Celeste.

01:41:35.000 Thank you.

01:41:35.600 Thank you.

01:41:35.940 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:41:38.820 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:41:41.760 I must be cornerstone

01:41:45.100 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:41:49.640 I'll share this peace of mind I found

01:41:52.480 I can feel it in my bones

01:41:55.960 But it's gonna take

01:41:57.780 But it's gonna take

01:41:58.840 Thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 02, 2024

E499 Celeste Barber

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