This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E516 Competitive Kingdom

00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:00:02.300 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:00:05.060 Whoa, is this economy?

00:00:07.180 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:00:09.620 Sweet! 0.95

00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:00:17.800 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.

00:00:20.980 Nice! 0.94

00:00:22.140 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

00:00:25.260 Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.

00:00:27.340 Sponsored by Bell. Conditions apply.

00:00:28.560 See AirCanada.com.

00:00:30.480 All right, let's get some tour dates that we have.

00:00:33.140 August 30th and 31st, these are new.

00:00:36.220 We'll be back in Las Vegas, Nevada at Resorts World, Las Vegas.

00:00:40.100 That is during LSU and USC weekend, University of Southern California.

00:00:48.420 So if you want to come laugh during that weekend, be grateful to have you there.

00:00:51.900 It's going to be a joy.

00:00:53.620 Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, September 25.

00:00:57.020 North Little Rock, September 26.

00:00:59.560 Springfield, Missouri, September 27.

00:01:03.280 Kansas City, Missouri, September 28.

00:01:05.580 Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

00:01:09.960 Dakota?

00:01:11.160 October 10th.

00:01:12.240 La Crosse, Wisconsin, October 11th.

00:01:14.280 Green Bay, Wisconsin on October 12th.

00:01:17.120 And Moline, Illinois, October 13th.

00:01:19.280 I'm grateful for all of those.

00:01:22.000 Get your tickets at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R. 0.73

00:01:26.600 And there are other shows, too.

00:01:28.040 You can find them all on the website.

00:01:29.720 And I appreciate you guys' support.

00:01:31.300 I can't believe this, that we've gotten to do this.

00:01:36.060 Thank you.

00:01:37.800 We got new merch, guys.

00:01:39.260 We have new colorways for the Be Good to Yourself t-shirts.

00:01:43.040 We have blue jean, granite, bay, and banana.

00:01:48.220 Check all that and more at TheoVaughnStore.com, the only place we sell merch.

00:01:53.100 Boom, boom, she got them.

00:01:58.760 She got them.

00:02:01.260 Shorty want a thug, baby, that's what they say.

00:02:05.600 That's what they say, baby. 0.88

00:02:07.340 Shorty want a thug. 0.88

00:02:11.060 Do shorty want a thug, though? 0.68

00:02:14.820 Look at, ask bad baby right now. 0.85

00:02:18.080 That, you know, shorty don't want that thug, you feel me? 1.00

00:02:22.780 Shorty don't. 1.00

00:02:23.620 How about this?

00:02:24.480 Shorty don't want a thug.

00:02:27.020 That's a way better song.

00:02:30.240 Shorty want a businessman.

00:02:33.100 Shorty want an electrician.

00:02:36.820 That's what shorty want, bro.

00:02:40.260 Shorty want hopes and dreams.

00:02:44.180 That's it.

00:02:44.880 You know, some of the songs just aren't really.

00:02:48.960 They're not telling the truth.

00:02:50.980 That's the thing.

00:02:53.760 Because shorty don't want a thug.

00:02:56.720 Shorty don't want a thug, man.

00:03:01.100 Shorty want a three-bedroom house with two and a half baths.

00:03:07.900 Where's that song, man?

00:03:10.000 Where is that song?

00:03:12.880 We need real music, baby.

00:03:14.440 Hey, what's going on out there?

00:03:18.760 What's going on, you little cinnamon sniffers, baby? 1.00

00:03:23.560 Where y'all at, huh?

00:03:25.300 Where y'all at?

00:03:27.380 Little hyped up today.

00:03:28.560 It's humid.

00:03:29.100 It's the heat.

00:03:30.280 This heat got me, man.

00:03:32.740 This heat got me.

00:03:35.900 Bro, you take an animal outside, and next thing you know, that thing is grilled.

00:03:39.180 That thing is grilled, bro.

00:03:42.800 You got you a little beach on or whatever, you at the park, and next thing you know, that thing.

00:03:47.080 It's grilled.

00:03:48.020 You'll have a couple of, I don't want to say it, but C-H-I-N-E-S-E. 1.00

00:03:54.620 You'll have them show up and be like, oh, so, what's happening, appetizer?

00:04:00.600 But, yeah, it's just dangerous out there, dangerous to hit the dog park, dangerous for anybody.

00:04:09.060 It's dangerous out there, a lot of heat.

00:04:11.980 I was in Las Vegas this weekend.

00:04:13.480 It was 117 degrees, man.

00:04:15.880 I didn't know they had that much degrees. 0.99

00:04:18.700 That's the kind of shit you see on the side of an oven, bro. 0.99

00:04:21.360 That's just too much. 1.00

00:04:23.480 It's just too much degrees for a regular man or woman.

00:04:29.700 So, what's going on, man?

00:04:33.520 I miss you guys.

00:04:34.260 Happy to be here today with you.

00:04:37.600 I'm in the studio.

00:04:39.020 I'm in the OG studio today.

00:04:41.540 So, I really feel, yeah, feel some nostalgia about that.

00:04:46.740 A lot's been going on.

00:04:48.120 A lot's been happening.

00:04:49.060 I hope you guys are doing well.

00:04:51.560 I'm trying to do more solo episodes because I think it's important, and I miss it.

00:04:56.940 I want to let you know that I miss it.

00:05:01.440 Yeah, what's happening?

00:05:02.620 I haven't spoken to you guys since I went to Ireland, brother, and England.

00:05:10.160 And they call it the United Kingdom, but it's not.

00:05:15.760 I guess it's kind of united, maybe.

00:05:17.400 I don't know. 1.00

00:05:17.700 If you're in Ireland and you're on stage and you yell out, fuck England, they go bonkers, dude. 1.00

00:05:25.820 They will start eating the freckles off of each other. 1.00

00:05:30.140 So, I guess it's united, but it's competitive.

00:05:33.400 So, that's what they should call it, probably, the competitive kingdom.

00:05:35.620 I think that's very fair.

00:05:39.820 And even certain parts of it feel like, like in Ireland, they're like, we're the real Ireland, you know. 0.99

00:05:45.860 And then if you get over to, you know, once you get over to England, like the people in Manchester, they're like, oh, fuck London. 0.98

00:05:55.640 They're, you know, they're posh, you know. 0.99

00:05:58.380 And so, there was just a lot going on, man.

00:06:00.520 It was just a lot to be associated with.

00:06:02.340 But I want to say thank you to all the people that came out over there.

00:06:06.380 It's important that I address that.

00:06:08.180 I did, you know, sometimes I feel like I leave a place and there's not a way to say thank you.

00:06:16.400 You know, I'll go to a show somewhere and I'll leave.

00:06:18.740 And a lot of times I'll be sitting in the tour bus or the car or something.

00:06:23.780 And I'll just be like, man, I wish.

00:06:25.560 How do I thank all these people?

00:06:28.060 You know, and I'll share something on my social story.

00:06:32.340 Or share a thank you.

00:06:34.040 But I'm like, man, I just wish there was a way to thank people better sometimes.

00:06:41.220 And Ireland was something else, man. 0.51

00:06:44.640 Godspeed to those drunken crooners, bro.

00:06:47.960 Those people, they will, oh, they'll drink their buddy. 1.00

00:06:51.480 Dude, I saw a guy put a straw in his friend and fucking drink him. 1.00

00:06:55.080 Right there. 1.00

00:06:56.680 I'll lie down.

00:06:58.760 Wow.

00:06:59.220 And he was lukewarm.

00:07:00.560 Mostly men.

00:07:01.420 I want to say that in Ireland.

00:07:02.620 And they're going to disagree.

00:07:04.200 And that's fine.

00:07:05.760 But it's mostly men over there.

00:07:07.280 I've never seen so many men in my life.

00:07:08.980 Wonderful men.

00:07:10.580 You know, beautiful, semi-beautiful, off-beautiful.

00:07:15.820 And not even beautiful men as well.

00:07:19.160 And it's totally white.

00:07:20.760 You know, whitest group. 1.00

00:07:22.180 Afraid of the sun.

00:07:23.580 But not of the Guinness.

00:07:25.020 They're not afraid.

00:07:26.540 That's the one thing.

00:07:29.000 The Guinness, bub.

00:07:30.700 The darkest thing in the whole country is the Guinness.

00:07:32.960 They didn't have any, like, I even saw, I remember seeing one black guy.

00:07:37.620 And I was like, oh, my God, are you a Guinness?

00:07:39.920 Like, they just don't have a lot of diversity, you know.

00:07:45.220 In fact, if someone there has a black child, they just name it Guinness.

00:07:49.100 And I'm like, well, that seems.

00:07:51.580 But, yeah, just a marvelous group of people over there, you know.

00:07:57.120 And in Ireland, they send, there's always the one Irish guy. 0.91

00:08:00.460 None of them, they all stay inside.

00:08:02.340 And they're in there drinking.

00:08:03.980 And it doesn't matter where there is.

00:08:05.760 It could be a home, an apartment.

00:08:08.080 It could be a pet store.

00:08:09.540 You open the pet store, there's a couple pets, right?

00:08:12.740 And then there's, like, people just in there drinking.

00:08:14.860 It could be, and you open a hardware store, and there's three wrenches, and then 11 guys in there drinking and singing the Pogues songs.

00:08:25.280 You know, it's a drinker's paradise over there.

00:08:30.180 It really is.

00:08:31.100 And then every now and then, you'll see the one Irish guy who they send to check out to see if it's sunny outside, right? 1.00

00:08:37.380 And that's, I don't know if he lost a bet or whatever, but there's always that one Irish guy that they send out, you know, to check the weather. 0.90

00:08:45.720 And it could be two degrees Celsius in Ireland, which is, like, 60 degrees Fahrenheit, and he'll come back in with a sunburn.

00:08:53.500 It's, there, anybody there, you cut a lamp on and four guys get sunburned in Ireland.

00:08:59.520 It's just, all right? 1.00

00:09:01.340 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:09:02.260 We need some aloe vera here for Brennan. 1.00

00:09:07.440 So, you know, that's a lot of the culture.

00:09:09.440 Even if I turn the light on on my phone, right, 11 guys get sunburned immediately.

00:09:14.960 You're like, oh, Jesus, turn it off.

00:09:17.000 We're going to get cancer.

00:09:20.880 There's always, it's always guys.

00:09:23.220 It's like, they're all singing.

00:09:27.040 Anything, you open up anything, a pothole on the street, they're in there.

00:09:30.900 They're like, and they're just drinking beers and singing.

00:09:37.340 It's just the culture. 0.99

00:09:39.900 Because I grew up in New Orleans, you know, and so there, there's a lot of drunk people vomiting and, like, projectile vomiting into people, you know, in the strip clubs and shit. 0.99

00:09:50.040 And, like, but in Ireland, it's just in them. 0.99

00:09:54.140 It's in them. 0.91

00:09:55.180 Their bones are dirty proof.

00:09:57.640 It's just built into them.

00:10:00.220 So it's a different kind of thing.

00:10:02.580 They're drunk, but they're, they're just Irish. 1.00

00:10:06.800 They're just Irish, you know.

00:10:10.740 The crazy one is if a guy gets so drunk, the freckles on his face start kind of moving around or relocating, or they'll spell out things.

00:10:18.940 Like, oh, you know, Donnie needs a taxi.

00:10:22.700 It'll just, the freckles will start to ask for help.

00:10:26.640 That's when a guy is too drunk and too Irish, you know. 1.00

00:10:33.660 They're like, oh, Michael needs a biscuit, you know.

00:10:37.580 It'll just start saying like that, oh, call the cops, you know.

00:10:41.380 So you just have to be, you got to be, you got to look out for that guy.

00:10:45.160 But it's a beautiful country, man.

00:10:49.680 Beautiful people.

00:10:51.500 And I guess this is how I kind of say thanks, you know, just by making sure I try to reminisce.

00:10:59.520 What else was, oh, the best thing in Ireland, they're always like, oh, the girls are coming.

00:11:04.920 You'll meet some fellas at a pub or something.

00:11:06.820 They're like, the girls, the lady, they'll be here soon.

00:11:09.540 The girls are coming.

00:11:11.600 And you'll wait 20 minutes or 30 minutes.

00:11:13.840 And the girls are never coming.

00:11:17.940 There's got to be 11 women in Ireland. 1.00

00:11:20.940 And they are busy.

00:11:22.720 I'll say that.

00:11:23.620 They're busy lasses. 1.00

00:11:26.420 But they're never coming.

00:11:29.080 We went out a couple nights and the guys we met, they're like, all right, the girls are coming.

00:11:34.660 And we'd wait and they would just close the bar and send everybody home.

00:11:39.760 The girls are never coming.

00:11:40.880 We saw what, oh, we saw the, in Belfast.

00:11:46.180 And it's beautiful.

00:11:47.200 Let me tell you this.

00:11:48.600 These places are beautiful.

00:11:49.660 I joke, but they're beautiful.

00:11:51.260 They're beautiful places.

00:11:52.500 And the people are beautiful.

00:11:54.580 They really are.

00:11:55.520 It's fascinating to see just this culture of just not obsessed with things as much as we are in the States.

00:12:01.820 Just more in their moment.

00:12:05.040 I definitely noticed that about the Irish, you know.

00:12:07.600 I mean, the moment is a bar.

00:12:10.240 I will say that.

00:12:11.300 The moment is 20 proof.

00:12:14.880 But they're in it.

00:12:16.760 They're definitely in it.

00:12:18.160 And we went to Belfast.

00:12:19.500 And they have a museum.

00:12:20.620 They're like, come see the Titanic, where we built the Titanic.

00:12:24.100 And I'm like, dude, I ain't going to see that, bro.

00:12:29.660 The Titanic sank, bro.

00:12:33.260 Why are you, why, like, I don't understand, I guess.

00:12:37.980 Like, why if it sank, are you like, come see it, you know. 1.00

00:12:42.860 You fucked, it's fucking shit, lad. 1.00

00:12:46.180 It fucking, it drank the ocean, brother. 1.00

00:12:49.900 So, I don't want to see where you made it. 1.00

00:12:54.300 That's not a good shop.

00:12:56.980 That's like in Malaysia. 0.62

00:12:58.460 If they're like, oh, come see where we made the plane. 0.98

00:13:01.100 You're like, it's fucking missing. 0.95

00:13:05.520 So, the girls are coming. 0.99

00:13:08.460 They're never coming.

00:13:10.320 Do you get it?

00:13:11.840 They're never coming, the girls.

00:13:13.740 But, yeah, you know, I'm joking, obviously.

00:13:19.020 And, you know what's funny, though?

00:13:21.180 Irish and English people, you don't have to say you're joking. 0.98

00:13:24.800 They fucking love it. 0.99

00:13:26.140 That's what I learned. 0.99

00:13:28.100 So, maybe I'll try to say it less, you know.

00:13:32.900 But, yeah, beautiful people over there.

00:13:35.360 Beautiful people in Ireland.

00:13:36.980 And every bar, though, yeah, filled with men.

00:13:39.040 You open any door in Ireland, it's men. 1.00

00:13:41.180 You open a pothole in there, people are drinking.

00:13:43.240 You open a cupboard to get you a plate, and there's six people on the plate drinking.

00:13:49.940 You open an app on your phone in Ireland, and there's three guys in the app drinking.

00:13:55.540 You're like, what the hell is this?

00:13:57.860 It's just the culture, man.

00:13:59.560 You open up, somebody opened a new restaurant, and we went for the opening, grand opening.

00:14:04.440 We opened the doors, there's 48 people drinking.

00:14:07.260 No food.

00:14:09.260 We went to Dublin.

00:14:11.020 Dublin.

00:14:12.420 And that's, like, the posh Ireland, you know.

00:14:15.080 That's, like, they call it West England.

00:14:17.420 That's what the other parts of Ireland call it.

00:14:19.560 And the shows there, it was phenomenal.

00:14:21.160 We just had one show, you know.

00:14:23.540 It was good.

00:14:24.400 It was really good, actually.

00:14:25.680 And then we went down, to be honest, look, I'll say when they're bad.

00:14:29.640 And there's some bad ones.

00:14:30.880 But this one, it was a good one.

00:14:35.200 It was a good one. 1.00

00:14:35.800 Sometimes you get off stage, and you're like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:14:38.440 Finally, it was good, you know. 1.00

00:14:40.540 And I know I'm hard on myself, too.

00:14:44.480 But it's like, yeah, that's how I feel about it.

00:14:48.940 What else happened?

00:14:50.060 Oh, yeah, we went down to Cork, you know.

00:14:52.020 And Cork is at the bottom of Ireland.

00:14:54.240 And it's a different type of place down there, you know.

00:14:57.080 And you think, you know, Ireland, you think, oh, Cork.

00:15:00.080 You know, they're finally going to put a Cork in the bottle.

00:15:02.760 You know, it'll be kind of sober Ireland or whatever, you know.

00:15:05.360 And they're going to get down there just living and living just comfortable lives, you know.

00:15:09.640 But no, it's just drunk men, drunk cattle even.

00:15:13.880 They had drunk cattle.

00:15:15.260 I saw two cows that couldn't even pay their tab at a pub. 1.00

00:15:18.800 And they butchered them right there.

00:15:21.000 God, you know.

00:15:23.360 It's just heartbreaking, you know.

00:15:25.160 And the barkeep, he's like, pay your tab.

00:15:28.160 And they're like, mm.

00:15:31.240 And he's like, what are you saying?

00:15:33.140 And he's like, mm.

00:15:35.360 Mm, more beer. 0.99

00:15:37.200 And then they fucking butchered them right there. 0.99

00:15:40.160 But he don't, the calves don't, they don't have any hands to even pay their tab. 0.99

00:15:44.100 The guy put the little, like, electronic pay your tab thing in the guy, you know.

00:15:50.240 All I got's the bell around her neck.

00:15:52.340 And there's no credit info in it.

00:15:55.040 So just kind of heartbreaking to witness some of that.

00:15:57.460 But in Cork, we performed in a tent.

00:16:01.760 Like, in a circus tent.

00:16:05.140 It was outdoors, blue and yellow.

00:16:07.860 It's blue and yellow.

00:16:08.800 And there's a couple.

00:16:09.520 It just, and I was like, who is going to show up to this circus tent? 0.98

00:16:14.200 And some freaking dogs showed up. 0.98

00:16:21.720 So that was crazy. 0.96

00:16:22.860 That show was kind of tough, just, but it was great, man.

00:16:28.220 It's just been, you know, yeah, I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.

00:16:35.060 It's just been, yeah, just like, I don't know.

00:16:38.020 Sometimes it all happens so fast, and you wish you could hold on to it, you know.

00:16:45.020 I think that's how I feel.

00:16:46.240 Yeah, sometimes it just all happens so fast, and you just want to hold on to it more.

00:16:53.000 But, yeah, we got to go see a dairy farmer right when we got over to Cork.

00:16:56.140 The driver, our driver, his cousin or nephew was working at a dairy farm.

00:17:03.740 So we went out there, and that was pretty cool.

00:17:06.740 We got to see the cows and just, you know, I never known that much about a cow, to be honest with you, bro. 0.98

00:17:17.920 Some people look at me, and they're like, oh, yeah, this bastard knows about cows, bro. 0.98

00:17:22.780 Just that little cow, baby, you know. 1.00

00:17:25.460 Just that little fucking bulldog, bro. 1.00

00:17:28.220 That little calf, daddy. 1.00

00:17:29.640 That's how they see me. 1.00

00:17:31.280 Like, oh, this little boy will suck on an udder. 1.00

00:17:35.980 You know, this boy is nasty. 1.00

00:17:38.340 But the truth is, I don't know much about them. 0.84

00:17:42.420 A lot of cows, when I look at them, they kind of remind me of blind people a little bit. 1.00

00:17:49.340 And I don't know why, you know, I guess.

00:17:55.760 And I don't know if I have to know why, you know.

00:17:57.860 But, yeah, we got to go see a dairy farm and just see what it was like.

00:18:03.280 And we got to sit at the table at the farmer's table and just kind of have a meal with them and some tea.

00:18:08.040 And that was awesome.

00:18:10.060 That was, like, the most, like, settled thing we did on the whole trip over there in the U.K.

00:18:16.640 Yeah, and it was just, and the girls are coming. 0.70

00:18:19.740 The girls are never coming, guys.

00:18:22.420 I don't even know how there's any people in Ireland because you need women to make people. 1.00

00:18:30.900 You know?

00:18:31.660 I don't care how progressive you are.

00:18:34.520 You put two dudes in a room for a long time, dude.

00:18:40.160 You open that door again, there's only going to be two people in there.

00:18:45.880 You need a woman, bro. 0.99

00:18:48.520 They're the strike to the match. 1.00

00:18:52.160 The match is dumb. 0.93

00:18:53.960 The strike is where you get that magic, baby. 0.99

00:18:56.220 And so, yeah, there's, like, everybody's, like, the girls are coming.

00:19:01.860 They're never coming.

00:19:03.240 They never showed up.

00:19:04.780 We never saw them.

00:19:07.020 We never saw them, lad.

00:19:09.820 They didn't see.

00:19:10.520 It's just, it's a bunch of Conor McGregor fans swearing that the girls are coming.

00:19:17.700 And they, and I don't know where the girls are.

00:19:20.180 I don't know.

00:19:21.180 At the dairy farm, that's the most females I saw. 1.00

00:19:24.400 That was it, you know?

00:19:26.020 And some of them were cute.

00:19:27.520 I'll say it, you know?

00:19:28.940 Depending on how cold it gets, some of them were cute.

00:19:32.600 Yeah, and the best, but, yeah, the wildest thing about Ireland is the craziest thing you can do, 1.00

00:19:37.000 you can go on stage, you can say, fuck England, and they will go apeshit. 1.00

00:19:41.520 They will start eating the freckles off their face. 1.00

00:19:44.780 They'll fucking, they'll start licking the sunburn off their body. 1.00

00:19:48.780 They'll do it all, you know? 1.00

00:19:51.320 They really, they love to say that over there.

00:19:54.320 But then we went to England, and we couldn't say that anymore on stage because we were in England.

00:20:02.480 And England was great, dude.

00:20:05.820 You know, I think people know I've had some history with the British over the years, you know?

00:20:10.260 So, you know, because we used to be British or whatever.

00:20:16.760 If you look at the Christopher Columbus, the Bible or whatever, and we left.

00:20:24.080 We're like, we're out. 0.88

00:20:27.460 You know, shorty want a thug, bro.

00:20:29.260 So we left, but then, so I was always like, well, why would, you know, you know, it's not going, you know,

00:20:39.600 you want to stay where you are, you know, you're moving forward, you know?

00:20:44.000 You know, they say you can't go home again.

00:20:48.300 You know, it's like that Miranda Lambert song.

00:20:50.000 It's just like, you know, you don't want to go back.

00:20:51.560 It's not the same.

00:20:52.400 But it was great, man.

00:20:56.880 It was so great, dude. 0.99

00:20:59.000 So I'll say fuck England when I'm in Ireland, but when I get to England, dude, I'm not saying it anymore. 0.99

00:21:05.480 I had a great time. 1.00

00:21:07.080 We went to Manchester, and one of the best shows.

00:21:13.220 Some amazing shows in London.

00:21:14.980 We were playing during the soccer match.

00:21:19.100 What was going on?

00:21:20.320 And we had Amir K on tour with us.

00:21:23.260 Shane Todd was there.

00:21:25.420 If you haven't gotten to check him out, man, he's just such a joy to be around.

00:21:30.340 Jimmy Carr showed up and did a guest set in London along with Catherine Ryan.

00:21:38.560 And so that was really cool.

00:21:40.220 You know, just that kindness of them to say, hey, I'd love to come and be on the show.

00:21:48.380 And that meant a lot to me.

00:21:50.300 You know, I felt really, really welcome there.

00:21:52.520 And it was also a time when the soccer was kicking off in the U.K., so people in England were hyped, bro.

00:22:00.460 Harry Kane!

00:22:02.500 Harry Kane! 0.99

00:22:03.160 People kept yelling Harry Kane at me, and I thought my penis was hanging out. 1.00

00:22:08.160 I'm like, oh, shit, I'll wax it, you know. 0.99

00:22:11.920 But, yeah, I just want to say thank you to everybody that came out over there. 0.98

00:22:16.180 It's just such a crazy experience to go to another country and people come out to the show, you know.

00:22:21.180 And then you're worried that, like, people don't, like, they don't know what you're talking about or that you have to change your references or whatever.

00:22:28.200 But that's not the, you know, some of that's all in my head.

00:22:31.340 So I think, like, in the first shows of, in Ireland, I was, like, worried, like, there's this exchange rate or whatever.

00:22:40.060 But it's not necessarily the case.

00:22:41.820 So, yeah, so that's what it was like over there.

00:22:48.000 I'm trying to think of anything else kind of wonderful that happened.

00:22:51.120 I mean, it was just fast.

00:22:54.600 You know, it just all, it just happens at the speed of life.

00:22:59.700 And sometimes it's, it feels quicker than we wish.

00:23:04.700 You know, it feels quicker than we wish.

00:23:07.620 Sometimes I feel like life wants to just, like, minutes are just faster than they used to be.

00:23:15.680 Like, even minutes, they want to get done with it.

00:23:18.080 They're like, let's get done with it.

00:23:21.140 They're like, I'm just a minute.

00:23:22.540 I'm just going to hurry.

00:23:24.640 It just used to feel like things were a little bit slower.

00:23:28.200 Are you struggling with keeping your website up to date and running your business?

00:23:32.000 Well, now you can binge all the web design and digital marketing you want with Modify.

00:23:38.180 Modify helps you with unlimited web design and redesigns.

00:23:42.400 Unlimited website updates, 24-7 support, and digital advertising.

00:23:47.900 They designed my website, and I'm grateful for that.

00:23:50.600 They've done it for the past maybe three and a half years.

00:23:53.880 And it's been a good experience with them.

00:23:56.640 You know, they call it the last website you'll ever need because you start this program with them.

00:24:00.800 And then you just keep moving forward.

00:24:03.260 They take care of the rest.

00:24:05.220 You get a designated designer and support team.

00:24:08.520 Consider updating your existing website or getting a new one.

00:24:12.500 Visit Modify.com slash T-H-E-O for 50% off.

00:24:18.040 The last website you'll ever need.

00:24:21.200 M-O-D-I-P-H-Y dot com slash T-H-E-O. 0.96

00:24:26.740 What else is going on, dude?

00:24:29.200 Joe Biden, I love this, bro.

00:24:33.180 Joe Biden has decided now that he's running for president.

00:24:42.060 Now, everybody knows that, and if you don't know, I don't.

00:24:46.600 My issue with Democratic Party is taking advantage of a senior citizen.

00:24:54.520 That's my issue.

00:24:55.980 I think that they should have taken Bobby Kennedy on and brought him into the fold. 0.99

00:25:00.360 I think that he is a plausible candidate who's willing to talk about real shit. 0.99

00:25:05.600 That's how I feel. 0.99

00:25:06.900 He's a plausible candidate that's willing to talk about real things and not only just wait for the question to come at him,

00:25:13.080 but to say this is what I want to do, and when he says it, you believe him, I think. 0.97

00:25:19.400 People are like, he's batshit crazy. 0.97

00:25:21.660 Yeah, well, everybody's batshit crazy, dude. 0.99

00:25:24.400 Okay?

00:25:24.980 Jim Henson put his hand up little bodies and made the Muppets, dude. 0.98

00:25:31.540 You don't think that was fucking crazy? 0.98

00:25:33.800 Yeah. 0.98

00:25:34.720 It was, dude.

00:25:36.200 So, I just did, I've never liked that, I've known that this guy is not doing well.

00:25:43.320 You know, my father was a senior citizen when I was born, so I don't like the taking advantage of somebody who is not mentally well. 0.99

00:25:54.280 It's fucked up. 0.99

00:25:56.540 It's, I don't care who you are. 1.00

00:25:58.120 I don't care what you think.

00:25:59.200 It's messed up.

00:26:00.440 And they was doing it. 0.99

00:26:02.240 They was puppeting old fucking Joey B, son. 0.99

00:26:06.180 And so, here's the, here's the hilariousness of it. 0.99

00:26:10.500 So, he's been experiencing dementia for a while, right?

00:26:14.440 I think that's been pretty obvious.

00:26:16.840 And now, they kept telling him so much, like, these puppeteers, whoever they are, we don't know who they are, but we know who they are.

00:26:25.840 They've been saying, like, you're the president, Joe.

00:26:28.900 You're the guy, you're the president.

00:26:30.240 And now, when they're like, you're not, you can't do it.

00:26:35.520 He's like, he, now he's the president. 0.99

00:26:38.560 It's almost like you convince a puppet that they're real for so long, and suddenly, they fucking, they believe it. 0.98

00:26:49.600 So, it's just gotten crazy, you know? 0.98

00:26:51.180 It's like, if we can't control Biden, how can we control AI?

00:26:55.580 You know, we can't even control B-A-I-D-E-N, dude. 1.00

00:27:01.460 It's a wrap, bro.

00:27:03.800 It's a wrap. 0.99

00:27:04.740 So, all this shit, to me, is just kind of hilarious. 0.99

00:27:12.060 I think we need more parties. 0.99

00:27:13.560 We need more possibilities.

00:27:15.020 I think we, I think the CIA and the FBI are corrupt.

00:27:19.280 I believe that we are living in a very corrupt experience with our government.

00:27:27.240 That's really what I believe.

00:27:29.220 And I don't believe that on the individual.

00:27:31.420 I don't think that the individuals are.

00:27:33.520 I want to say that, you know?

00:27:38.560 But I think that the powers that are pushing them are.

00:27:43.820 Because I don't believe that on an individual level.

00:27:48.900 Anyway, sorry.

00:27:49.860 That's a lot of politics from me.

00:27:51.960 But I just, I am so excited now.

00:27:57.060 I'm so, because imagine you, like, build a character on an NBA 2K or something, right?

00:28:02.340 Or 7K or whatever it is now.

00:28:04.060 And then finally, you log in one time and you want to use your character or whatever. 0.98

00:28:08.220 And your character just fucking looks at the screen. 0.96

00:28:10.680 And gives you those Nate Diaz number ones, baby, the middle fangies. 1.00

00:28:14.460 And then he just does his own shit on the game. 0.99

00:28:19.340 And you just have to watch. 0.99

00:28:21.540 So that's what I'm, I am hyped about this, about Biden.

00:28:27.260 Just because it's all, that's what you get.

00:28:31.180 That's what you get for telling a puppet that it's real the whole time.

00:28:34.620 Anyway, so not to get super political, but those are just some of my thoughts.

00:28:43.720 I'm always about the underdog.

00:28:45.300 You know that.

00:28:45.800 A lot of times I'm about the underdog.

00:28:48.380 And I felt like what they were doing to Joe Biden, whatever you think about him politically, 0.99

00:28:55.700 what they were doing to him, I thought was fucked up. 0.97

00:28:57.740 You know, if I sat in a room with a senior citizen and I knew something was not well about him. 0.97

00:29:05.680 And I said things to him or made him believe things to take advantage of him. 0.87

00:29:11.380 That's, that's a sick person that would do that. 1.00

00:29:16.100 You know, that's, if that happened to my father, I've said this before. 1.00

00:29:19.960 If somebody did that to my father, I would fucking take their legs off their body. 1.00

00:29:24.120 And hide them in their cousin's ass, dude. 1.00

00:29:26.160 That's who I am. 1.00

00:29:27.740 You know, I, there's just nothing sicker to me than that.

00:29:32.020 It's like there's people that call, uh, old people and try to sell them gold and cheat them out of their money. 1.00

00:29:38.240 All that shit are the, uh, those Nigerian scammer people. 1.00

00:29:42.220 I know that they're just trying to make money in their country, but, uh, just taking advantage of senior citizens is just fucking, 1.00

00:29:48.880 that shit fucking makes me angry, bro. 0.99

00:29:51.280 And I'm sorry to use a lot of profanity today. 1.00

00:29:53.140 Um, what else is going on?

00:29:59.000 Sorry if this is all over the place, but, uh, you know, I've never known what this show is.

00:30:04.020 And so this is what it is.

00:30:05.340 Um, I went to a WNBA game.

00:30:09.320 I'll say it, dude.

00:30:10.980 A lot of guys are afraid to say it, you know, you know, and I will say that I promised my father on his deathbed that I would not go to a WNBA game.

00:30:20.680 Um, that was like his one promise or whatever.

00:30:25.440 And, and I put, you know, and I felt like, of course I won't go.

00:30:31.140 Um, and he, he goes, oh, your mother, if your mother found out you went to a WNBA game, she'd roll over in her grave. 1.00

00:30:39.980 And I said, I remember being like, well, mom's not dead yet.

00:30:43.340 And he's like, she's dead on the inside.

00:30:46.500 That's what he said, dude.

00:30:47.720 I was like, whoa, that, that's crazy.

00:30:50.520 I mean, maybe, but that's crazy.

00:30:52.660 Um, but no, I love you, mom.

00:30:55.020 Um, but, but I went to a game, man.

00:30:58.860 I went to a game, uh, this past weekend in Las Vegas.

00:31:02.900 I'm a Kate Martin fan.

00:31:05.580 I'm not going to sit in the closet anymore.

00:31:09.220 I am a Kate Martin fan.

00:31:12.040 I became an Iowa Hawkeyes female basketball fan.

00:31:16.080 I did.

00:31:18.000 And a lot, you know, for some people, it's almost like admitting that they're using drugs or whatever.

00:31:24.000 For me, it's not like that.

00:31:26.460 I became an Iowa Hawkeyes fan.

00:31:30.560 Female hoops. 0.97

00:31:32.700 I mean, they put up way more points than the Iowa men's football team.

00:31:38.340 So right there.

00:31:39.500 If you even want to see a point scored, you got to watch them.

00:31:44.000 If you're even anywhere near Iowa city.

00:31:46.240 So, um, but yeah, so I went to a Kate Martin game and I got to see her play, dude. 0.74

00:31:51.140 And I was fucking excited, man. 0.92

00:31:52.500 I'm not gonna. 0.97

00:31:53.460 And I'll say this.

00:31:54.380 This is the best thing.

00:31:55.480 Um, the best thing that I didn't realize is, uh, some of the player, you know, as a guy, you're sitting there, you're watching the game.

00:32:09.660 And first of all, it's super relatable.

00:32:11.400 And I'll tell you why.

00:32:12.920 Because a lot of times you'll see the women driving to the hoop and you, they can't dunk, right? 1.00

00:32:17.700 They can't dunk.

00:32:18.700 And that's fine.

00:32:21.260 But it's the, to me, it's the most relatable thing I've ever seen.

00:32:25.620 I can't dunk.

00:32:27.620 You know, at this point in my life, I can't dunk.

00:32:30.800 So if I'm going to the hoop and I got a layup, it's the, there's nothing more relatable to a white guy than driving to the hoop and you can't dunk. 0.95

00:32:41.220 So at that moment, I was like, holy shit, this is the most relatable moment of my whole life. 0.95

00:32:47.740 I can't really relate to all those bangers that are out there in the NBA. 0.96

00:32:53.260 All those Beyonce Carters, baby, them Vince Carters.

00:32:57.200 I can't really, you know, I can admire it, but I can't relate to it.

00:33:05.220 But when you see somebody coasting through the lane or trying to figure it out, catching a bounce pass, and they're going up and the only thing they can do is lay up, bro.

00:33:18.260 As a white, off-white, semi-Nicaraguan guy, I can relate a thousand percent, dude.

00:33:28.200 So that's one thing that I realized that was so relatable about the games, man.

00:33:34.480 The second thing that I thought was really fascinating is, as a man, some of the players, you're attracted to them.

00:33:42.300 You know, you're watching the players.

00:33:43.900 And a lot of, they're women. 1.00

00:33:46.060 So if you're a man that likes a woman, then you're, you know.

00:33:55.340 So it's weird.

00:33:56.580 So it's like, you know, at the men's game, that never happens.

00:33:59.640 I'm just kind of marveling at the athleticism.

00:34:02.400 I'm hoping that none of the players are trying to bang my girl or whatever. 1.00

00:34:06.120 Whatever, just usual shit. 1.00

00:34:08.940 But as, at the WNBA game, you're like, damn, shorty, shorty, shorty. 0.99

00:34:17.040 The shorty want a comic. 0.97

00:34:18.760 You know, you just, it's different.

00:34:23.840 So I realized that.

00:34:25.140 I thought that was interesting.

00:34:26.160 Just to have this element of like, oh.

00:34:30.480 I'm attracted to some of these gals, bro. 1.00

00:34:34.620 And some guys are like, I would never be attracted.

00:34:37.620 Bro, go to the games, dude.

00:34:40.880 Go to the games, bro.

00:34:43.340 See if some of these beautiful broads don't hit a three-pointer 1.00

00:34:46.780 and your butt starts sweating a little. 0.81

00:34:50.860 All right? 0.98

00:34:53.200 Live your life.

00:34:55.060 Oh.

00:34:57.360 When I'm on the paper.

00:35:00.640 So, yeah.

00:35:01.560 So just been praying about a lot of that kind of stuff, man.

00:35:05.460 But that was, so those were some things about the WNBA game that I really loved.

00:35:09.060 And I know it sounds crazy to say that, and I'm sorry, Dad.

00:35:14.900 I'm sorry, Dad.

00:35:20.060 But Asia Wilson broke the franchise record. 1.00

00:35:24.200 I didn't know there was a franchise.

00:35:25.760 But it doesn't matter.

00:35:26.460 She broke the franchise record. 0.99

00:35:27.760 And this is one of the best things that the WNBA has going for it as well. 1.00

00:35:32.520 I think.

00:35:33.220 This is my opinion.

00:35:34.160 My opinion means nothing.

00:35:36.120 It means nothing. 1.00

00:35:37.080 You could feed it to a fucking baby. 1.00

00:35:38.900 You could feed it to a B, Sean. 1.00

00:35:41.900 But the fact that the best team in the league right now is in Las Vegas.

00:35:48.660 So you have so many people that are just in Las Vegas that are there, you know,

00:35:52.160 touristing.

00:35:53.580 So if they go see a team, bro, they're going to see the best team.

00:35:58.140 So I'm not sure if that's by design.

00:36:00.260 You never know.

00:36:02.580 That's the dark arch is the people in the distance.

00:36:04.960 You don't know what they're doing.

00:36:06.980 But, yeah, it was just, there's just so many different little elements that kind of happen

00:36:13.940 at a WNBA game.

00:36:15.780 And some people are going to chirp me or whatever for having gone.

00:36:20.140 Look, you know, I'm an underdog.

00:36:25.500 Well, I've, you know, that's where I'm at.

00:36:28.260 So, but, yeah, it was a great, it was a, I had a great time, man.

00:36:33.660 It was fun.

00:36:34.260 It just, and I'll say this, the games are a little shorter.

00:36:36.620 It's a little quicker.

00:36:37.760 You're, and you're attracted, you're attracted to some of the ladies on the court. 0.99

00:36:43.320 So, you know, they got, it's like, damn. 0.98

00:36:45.580 And you, it's just, there's a different thing going on when you are a man at the game, I think. 0.99

00:36:52.380 And that's okay, man.

00:36:53.780 It just is what it is.

00:36:55.100 And so, I had a great time with my family.

00:36:58.600 Dude, I had an amazing, some of my best, the best shows I've had in the past few years

00:37:03.560 were throughout Idaho and Utah this week.

00:37:06.980 I want to thank everybody that came out.

00:37:09.700 That really meant a lot.

00:37:12.220 Just even being in Las Vegas, you know, just getting to be in Las Vegas, dude, it's like

00:37:16.700 you go to Las Vegas and the freaking advertisement goes by and it's me, you know.

00:37:21.260 And I sat there with my mom and we rode in together for my brothers because we spent,

00:37:25.580 we spent 4th of July with my brother.

00:37:32.040 He lives in Springdale, Utah.

00:37:35.440 And it's, there's nobody, it's 250 people there.

00:37:39.920 And, and he likes it.

00:37:42.340 He likes the place and he likes being there.

00:37:44.840 And it was just nice, man.

00:37:46.040 I got to go to lunch with my nephew and just be like, you know, what's going on, bro?

00:37:51.300 You know, and talk about his life and stuff.

00:37:53.220 And, um, yeah, that was cool.

00:37:56.540 It made me feel, it was nice.

00:37:59.540 I'm thankful to God that I got to have that kind of moment.

00:38:02.440 Just where, you know, we got to go together and then I'm able, you know, I'm trusted to

00:38:08.440 take my nephew out to lunch and, and we just had a nice time.

00:38:12.960 We drove around and just talked stuff, you know, because I think maybe sometimes for nephews,

00:38:17.400 some, some things they can't talk about their dads with.

00:38:19.260 I don't know, but it was just cool, you know?

00:38:22.700 And, um, yeah, that made me feel like, uh, like I had some value, you know, like important,

00:38:31.480 like, or just like familially, like family importance or whatever they call it.

00:38:36.100 Um, but yeah, we got to draw, we got, we rode back in with my mom and she came to my show

00:38:42.500 on Friday night.

00:38:44.220 And if you were at that show in Vegas, it was pretty cool.

00:38:46.620 You know, um, I know my, you know, me figuring out like my, like, yeah, I mean, my mother and

00:38:59.520 I had a tough time growing, you know, we've had a tough time over the years and, uh, but

00:39:06.500 she still stay, she, you know, she listens to every episode of this show, you know, which

00:39:12.460 is kind of wild because, um, she couldn't be there when I was young, you know, but I

00:39:18.120 know she tries her best to show up when, as an adult, you know, when I'm now, you know?

00:39:23.780 And so it's just, I feel, uh, I don't know.

00:39:29.620 It just, you know, and some of that's been, it's been hard for me to like evolve, like,

00:39:34.780 you know, to forgive my mom and stuff.

00:39:37.720 But, um, yeah, I'm grateful that, you know, even the P like, I'm just grateful that my mom

00:39:47.080 has been patient while I'm trying to figure this out and go through it.

00:39:52.460 And it's gotten a lot better, you know, um, it's gotten a lot better.

00:39:58.900 And I'm just, I'm really thankful to God for that, you know, to the powers that be in

00:40:03.820 the world, because I didn't know, you know, I don't know.

00:40:09.160 Sometimes I never knew if I would have any other feelings towards my mom other than, um,

00:40:16.620 discomfort.

00:40:17.220 And that's not the case.

00:40:20.780 Now I have like feelings that pop into my head where, uh, that are new and different.

00:40:29.980 So I'm just, yeah, I'm just thankful that, um, yeah, I'm thankful about that, but it was

00:40:35.860 just fun, you know, that she got to come and see me do what I like to do, you know?

00:40:45.900 And so I'm just, you know, I'm just grateful for that.

00:40:49.020 Um, cause every kid just wants to make their mom or dad proud, you know, that's all they

00:40:53.420 want to do.

00:40:53.920 And that's it.

00:40:57.600 I, you know, I mean, they want to steal their parents' car sometimes too, but outside of

00:41:03.040 that, you know, and they want to fricking hook up with a strain or with like some, somebody

00:41:07.900 from down the street when their parents are out of town or whatever.

00:41:10.160 But outside of that, dude, all they want to do is make their parents proud, you know?

00:41:16.000 Um, so, so that was, uh, really special to me.

00:41:21.740 Um, what else is going on?

00:41:24.140 Sorry if I'm rambling, we haven't even gotten into any of you guys' calls and really why

00:41:28.420 if I feel the only reason I even want to do these episodes, um, is so I can check in with

00:41:35.520 you guys, bro.

00:41:36.500 No cap did it or for real.

00:41:38.340 Sorry to say no cap at my age.

00:41:40.420 Um, and so, you know, I asked in the past, the last solo episode and I try to solo episodes

00:41:45.660 are kind of linked.

00:41:46.740 And so if you're not familiar with this podcast or if you're new to it, um, solo episodes

00:41:52.100 are kind of linked.

00:41:53.400 And so, um, I asked in the past who listens to the episode.

00:41:58.260 So I'm just going to rattle off a few of them right here.

00:42:00.280 Here we go.

00:42:01.500 Hi, Theo.

00:42:02.980 Um, my name is Zeta and you were wondering what people do for work.

00:42:07.140 I'm telling you what my job is.

00:42:09.100 I grade beef.

00:42:11.200 Yeah.

00:42:11.940 And I'm kind of a bigger girl, if you know what I'm saying.

00:42:14.460 So it's kind of embarrassing because people probably think I'll sneak a snack or something.

00:42:18.720 But my job basically is like when you go to the grocery store and you, you know, buy a

00:42:24.840 ribeye steak or something and it says like pine ribeye or choice ribeye or select or whatever.

00:42:31.300 That's what I, that's what I grade.

00:42:33.420 It's a pretty cool job.

00:42:34.580 I love my job.

00:42:35.840 I love your job.

00:42:37.180 And I love you too.

00:42:38.320 Thank you for grading that beef, shorty.

00:42:40.420 Give me a C plus.

00:42:41.660 I'd be good as who I am.

00:42:44.080 You know what I'm saying?

00:42:44.840 Give me a 75, baby.

00:42:46.640 I'm good as long as it looks.

00:42:49.080 As long as you don't see my meat's contaminated, baby.

00:42:52.280 We good.

00:42:53.340 You feel me?

00:42:54.260 Who else listens to the show?

00:42:55.720 Hey, Theo.

00:42:56.400 This is Neil in Wisconsin.

00:42:58.080 Just, uh, checking in.

00:43:00.800 Out here, uh, delivering carbon dioxide, also known as CO2, also known as carbonation.

00:43:06.680 And trying to make sure that everybody's sodas are fizzy and remain that way.

00:43:13.100 Gang, gang.

00:43:14.300 Amen, baby.

00:43:15.280 Keep it fizzy out there, baby.

00:43:17.040 Keep them bubs bubbing, dog. 1.00

00:43:19.020 You know what I'm saying?

00:43:20.140 You that champagne, baby.

00:43:22.520 You the champagne in my life, daddy.

00:43:25.060 Let's hear more, dog.

00:43:26.540 Who else listens to the episodes?

00:43:33.000 Hey, Theo.

00:43:34.060 I work as a social worker. 1.00

00:43:36.820 Oh, damn. 1.00

00:43:38.660 In some jails here in Nevada. 1.00

00:43:42.940 Uh, I just want to let you know I listen to the pod.

00:43:46.060 You're always playing in the background while I'm sitting here at the jail after I see everybody.

00:43:50.820 And just wanted to give you a call and say thank you.

00:43:54.020 I appreciate what you do.

00:43:55.520 I'm out there talking to people, keeping them going.

00:43:57.940 And you're back here talking to me, keeping me going.

00:44:00.600 Thank you.

00:44:01.560 Oh, thanks.

00:44:02.520 Yeah.

00:44:02.900 I always wanted to go to jail.

00:44:04.640 And, uh, and I might sometime.

00:44:07.060 I don't know.

00:44:07.480 We'll see how bad my marriage is one day if I get married.

00:44:10.160 But, um, but thank you, love.

00:44:12.700 I appreciate that.

00:44:13.520 And thank you for keeping them boys going.

00:44:15.160 I know people make mistakes and they still need to, uh, they still deserve to help, to get help.

00:44:20.420 And they need the most help sometimes, baby.

00:44:22.240 Praise God.

00:44:23.020 You feel that on me, gang, gang.

00:44:25.400 Let's hear another one.

00:44:26.700 Hey, Theo.

00:44:27.380 This is, um, Danielle from Illinois.

00:44:30.160 Danielle-inois.

00:44:31.400 Baby, let's hear it.

00:44:32.920 I'm a beauty school dropout turned production welder.

00:44:37.700 And I just heard your pod, the merging, where you asked what everybody does for a living.

00:44:42.400 So I figured I'd call in and let you know.

00:44:45.240 Amen, baby.

00:44:46.020 Thank you for calling.

00:44:46.680 You's a welder, huh?

00:44:47.740 You welding.

00:44:48.660 That bead work, huh?

00:44:50.420 I feel you, baby.

00:44:51.500 Won't you frickin' shh me up a little steak, baby?

00:44:55.760 That's what I would like to see somebody that, you know, steak by welder. 1.00

00:45:00.240 And that bitch is just a fuckin' grill do it, damn. 1.00

00:45:03.920 That thing look like a fuck it, damn. 1.00

00:45:05.880 Dark McNugget, baby, damn. 1.00

00:45:08.140 Baby, praise God. 1.00

00:45:09.620 Let's hear more.

00:45:10.280 Hey, Theo.

00:45:11.280 Hey, Theo.

00:45:12.220 My name's Peyton, and I am a school nurse, and I absolutely love your podcast.

00:45:19.080 It's one of my favorites.

00:45:20.500 I just sit here dying.

00:45:22.060 Well, thanks, Peyton.

00:45:23.700 I appreciate you.

00:45:24.700 I appreciate you for listening, and God.

00:45:28.520 The school nurse, dude. 0.99

00:45:31.440 If you got a school nurse that was hot, dude, it was like, God. 1.00

00:45:35.920 God.

00:45:37.220 Just praying for cancer or whatever.

00:45:39.640 Onward.

00:45:40.780 I adored your podcast with Melissa Ansel, the school lunch lady.

00:45:46.640 It was hilarious and so relatable.

00:45:50.100 Oh, yeah.

00:45:50.740 She's on that lunch game, baby. 1.00

00:45:52.580 A lot of broads in them meal streets. 1.00

00:45:56.600 Hear more?

00:45:57.680 I just wanted to call in and let you know that I was a nurse, and I love you.

00:46:02.520 And I do have a question.

00:46:04.620 How hot is Joe Rogan in person?

00:46:10.200 Well, Joe is a handsome guy.

00:46:14.220 He has a great smile.

00:46:15.660 That's one thing about Joe.

00:46:16.960 When he smiles, it's awesome.

00:46:24.680 He is very fit.

00:46:28.120 I think he's a handsome guy.

00:46:29.520 I'm not a woman.

00:46:30.140 I don't know how women see handsome. 1.00

00:46:34.000 But for a man, I think of him as a handsome guy for sure.

00:46:42.480 He is – people ask me about Joe Rogan all the time.

00:46:47.720 Literally, I feel like I'm Joe – I feel like I'm a secretary sometimes for Joe Rogan.

00:46:51.920 Or like I'm like that – whoever the Speaker of the House is or something.

00:46:56.860 It's a lady with the curly hair for Biden who they always ask her questions. 1.00

00:47:02.980 I think Joe Rogan is very smart.

00:47:07.460 That's one thing about him.

00:47:09.180 People try to label him, I think, as different things sometimes.

00:47:13.480 He is a smart guy.

00:47:15.320 He has a great memory.

00:47:16.720 You can't really lie to him because he remembers. 0.99

00:47:21.340 So if you tell him some shit, it's just like he remembers. 0.98

00:47:26.560 And it's also nice that he remembers. 0.99

00:47:28.560 It makes him very endearing because he remembers things about you and about the world.

00:47:37.600 And, yeah, he's like a library.

00:47:40.440 That's one thing that I really think about him.

00:47:42.480 It's like if they could make a library person, it's Joe Rogan.

00:47:48.820 You can kind of show up to the desk and ask, hey, do we have a book about this?

00:47:53.400 And he will go into his memory because he's had so many conversations and informative conversations.

00:48:01.580 And he will share what he can remember or what he knows.

00:48:06.380 And that's one thing that I think is very fascinating about him.

00:48:10.080 He's a fascinating man.

00:48:13.200 He really is.

00:48:14.200 And then when you get to go watch him do the UFC, it's just like he's like commentating.

00:48:18.300 Then he goes in the ring like it's fun, man.

00:48:21.160 I just feel so lucky that he helped a lot of comics and fighters, UFC people, kind of connect in some weird way.

00:48:35.340 So, yeah, but that's what he's like, I think.

00:48:37.980 Like, yeah, and I think that's exactly how I think about him.

00:48:44.600 And I know if, yeah, if I reach out to him about something, he's willing to be helpful.

00:48:48.580 And I also know he's a very busy guy, so I respect his time.

00:48:52.140 But, yeah.

00:48:54.920 What else is going on?

00:48:56.880 Thank you guys for calling in.

00:48:58.240 Let me know who listens.

00:49:00.100 Yeah, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

00:49:04.720 Just let me know who listens.

00:49:05.840 I just want to know who's out there.

00:49:09.040 Yeah.

00:49:11.420 What else, man?

00:49:13.240 Let's hit the news really quick. 0.99

00:49:14.800 We got some we have some callers that called in about their first time somebody touching their genitalia. 0.73

00:49:19.900 We're going to get to that shortly.

00:49:21.120 And then a few other callers that called in.

00:49:25.520 What's in the news today?

00:49:27.840 Oh, Biden spotlights support for NATO as he looks to summit Help Reset Stumbling Campaign.

00:49:34.260 Oh, I already talked about that.

00:49:36.360 Yeah, that Joe Biden wants to be the president now.

00:49:39.540 They told him he was the—you tell him he's the president for so long, and then he just walks off believing he's the president, baby.

00:49:45.220 Let him cook, son.

00:49:47.900 Let him cook, bro.

00:49:49.340 That's where I'm at.

00:49:50.780 He's our Bidenstein, baby.

00:49:52.600 He's our Presnokio, baby.

00:49:55.320 You Geppetto'd him. 0.69

00:49:56.460 Now let him cook.

00:49:58.180 Let him install.

00:49:59.080 I want handicap rails along the Mississippi River.

00:50:02.280 I want free Jell-O for anyone who can whistle.

00:50:06.340 I want free Reader's Digest for all natural-born citizens.

00:50:11.800 Let him cook, baby.

00:50:13.620 They let—I'm just so excited now that they made somebody believe something, and now that dude is like, no, you're not telling me I'm not the president.

00:50:25.700 I'm running, bro.

00:50:27.180 Things could not get any crazier, man.

00:50:29.480 And so that's got to be—we have to look at it, I think, in the excitement part, you know.

00:50:36.540 Is pornography causing a problem in your life?

00:50:39.660 That's a good question.

00:50:41.280 It's a real question.

00:50:42.180 And it has in mine—it has at certain periods in my life, watching porno and everything and watching porno was making me—it was ruining my life.

00:50:53.800 It was ruining my life, man.

00:50:55.360 Made me feel just so much shame.

00:50:56.780 That's what it did.

00:50:58.560 Well, watching pornography has become commonplace today, and oftentimes men will use porno to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression.

00:51:09.460 That's why I want to introduce you to my friend, Stephen Wolt.

00:51:14.880 Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery.

00:51:17.140 He is a dear friend of mine.

00:51:19.020 He is a dear friend of mine.

00:51:22.600 And Valor Recovery is a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity.

00:51:27.640 That's right.

00:51:29.580 Their coaches are in long-term recovery, and they will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend problematic behaviors.

00:51:37.620 There is zero commitment if you reach out to them.

00:51:40.620 It's just the first step in trying to figure out if you may need some help, if you can get some help.

00:51:47.840 To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com.

00:52:01.400 The links will be on the YouTube.

00:52:03.860 And again, there's no commitment when you reach out to them.

00:52:08.640 But I promise you, only something positive will come from you reaching out and figuring out what type of help.

00:52:18.340 What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue?

00:52:22.140 A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door.

00:52:28.460 A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool.

00:52:33.360 Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered.

00:52:37.500 Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

00:52:42.380 Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply.

00:52:45.060 Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver.

00:52:48.140 If any could benefit you.

00:52:51.000 Thank you.

00:52:53.280 Um, what else, man?

00:52:54.920 Um, yeah, you know what?

00:52:58.240 Actually, I want to share this, dude.

00:52:59.480 I am.

00:53:02.220 This is true for me.

00:53:04.740 Uh, let me see.

00:53:07.400 I am, as of today, 0.93

00:53:09.540 I want to let you know that I am 36 days off of masturbation, 0.85

00:53:17.080 and I am 42 days off of pornography. 0.95

00:53:21.240 And that, for me, is awesome.

00:53:28.460 That is awesome.

00:53:30.400 Um, you know, some people don't worry about that kind of stuff, you know, uh,

00:53:34.900 and that's fine.

00:53:37.740 But for me, a lot of my life, I like, if I felt uncomfortable, like, you know, one day

00:53:43.680 I should do an episode probably maybe about this kind of stuff.

00:53:46.100 But, um, yeah, when I was young, I didn't, you know, I had a lot of trouble relating to

00:53:54.540 women or talking to women.

00:53:55.860 I was very scared of, uh, women and dating. 0.98

00:54:01.260 I think a lot of it was, you know, I didn't have a connection with my mother.

00:54:04.280 And I've talked about that.

00:54:05.240 I'm not trying to beat that dead horse.

00:54:06.980 Um, but because of that, you know, when you don't have a connection with your mom,

00:54:12.580 that's your first connection with a woman. 0.99

00:54:14.260 And so I went into the world and I was just so scared.

00:54:16.820 I just was so scared of any, uh, connection, any, uh, intimate connection with a female. 0.93

00:54:24.900 And so when pornography came along, it was easy.

00:54:27.580 It was like, oh, I can have some form of intimacy, but it's not, it's not real.

00:54:34.400 You know, it just, it filled like this space that was huge in me.

00:54:39.980 I didn't know how big it was at the time.

00:54:41.480 And so that for a long time, anytime I had a feeling or anything, you know, I would watch 0.81

00:54:47.680 pornography or something or I would masturbate or do something like that because I just didn't

00:54:51.440 know how to handle any of my feelings, especially if it was a feeling about like, um, maybe dating 0.98

00:54:59.000 or intimacy or whatever.

00:54:59.940 I don't know.

00:55:00.920 I don't know.

00:55:01.620 A lot of it I'm still learning about, but, um, but yeah, so to have this break, uh, to have

00:55:10.980 this like space and yeah, I mean, I've had date, you know, it changed over time.

00:55:15.440 Like it got better, but it still was always this thing.

00:55:19.780 Like, or if I felt uncomfortable in that, you know, I would resort to that.

00:55:24.300 Um, cause it would make me feel something.

00:55:26.300 It would make me feel some connection, even if it wasn't real.

00:55:29.180 Um, so yeah, I'm just, I haven't had this kind of a time in my life where I've had that

00:55:40.400 long off of those things.

00:55:42.020 And so I'm just really thankful for that, man, you know, and, um, yeah, I, I, I started

00:55:51.340 working with my buddy.

00:55:52.080 He works at this Valor Recovery.

00:55:53.240 We, we do ads for them sometimes we do pro bono ads for their company because, um, I believe

00:55:58.620 in what they do and, um, yeah.

00:56:02.660 So anyway, uh, maybe one day I'll do like a more episode about that kind of stuff about,

00:56:08.220 um, being addicted to that sort of thing and, um, and that sort of thing.

00:56:13.020 Maybe it would be, um, you know, something to do.

00:56:16.020 Um, um, anyway, um, let's get to some calls, man.

00:56:22.880 You guys have, uh, spent your time calling in.

00:56:25.700 I want to see a lot of people have called in, you know, we, we, the last solo episode, we 0.92

00:56:29.360 talked about the first time somebody ever touched your genitalia, which is a very important 0.90

00:56:33.620 time in somebody's life. 0.99

00:56:36.800 Cause for most of your life, your genitalia, it's yours. 0.99

00:56:39.540 It's yours. 0.99

00:56:40.340 It's 99%, 99.9% of the time it's yours. 1.00

00:56:44.120 It's your junk. 1.00

00:56:45.720 It's your little fucking dirty little secret, but sometimes you'll let other people touch 1.00

00:56:54.080 it and you'll let them get involved with it. 0.99

00:56:56.400 And so that's what I wanted to figure out and see if we could, uh, get to some of those

00:57:02.340 calls right here.

00:57:03.180 Actually, yo, Theo, it's Mike from the quad cities.

00:57:06.940 What's up, Mike quad cities over there.

00:57:09.320 And I believe that that's Moline.

00:57:12.020 Um, let me see.

00:57:13.740 Quad cities.

00:57:15.880 I was Moline, Bettendorf, Davenport, Rock Island, and Moline.

00:57:21.220 We're coming to Moline as well, man.

00:57:23.580 Uh, let's hear more.

00:57:26.140 Illinois, uh, Rock Island calling about the, uh, the statement you made regarding when's 0.99

00:57:32.440 the first time someone touched your genitalia. 0.99

00:57:34.640 Oh yeah, baby. 1.00

00:57:35.640 That first junk fucking touch, baby. 1.00

00:57:39.320 Cause there's not, cause your whole life you've had your penis. 1.00

00:57:42.520 You don't even know when you're a kid that you even have a penis, but then you get to 1.00

00:57:45.520 like 12 and you're like, Holy shit, dude, I got this wand on me. 1.00

00:57:48.860 Or you're a woman. 1.00

00:57:50.280 You're like, Holy shit. 1.00

00:57:51.260 You know, I got this pocket on me. 1.00

00:57:52.900 You know, I got this fucking little party oyster on me. 0.99

00:57:56.140 What do I do? 1.00

00:57:56.860 Let's hear more.

00:57:58.300 Besides myself.

00:57:59.820 It was, uh, it was on the basketball court at the fitness center.

00:58:03.060 I was, uh, I was playing a five on five full court and we was playing with, uh, a group

00:58:08.920 of, uh, older people.

00:58:10.140 Uh, they was, I was probably 14 and they was probably around 40.

00:58:15.700 I don't know.

00:58:16.440 Um, and, uh, there was a, there was a female, one of them and she was guarding me and, uh, 0.95

00:58:22.620 I cut to the hoop and she cut because of drawers, you know what I'm saying?

00:58:26.280 She, uh, she rubbed her hand across that shaft. 0.97

00:58:29.220 Well, homie, you got molested, buddy. 1.00

00:58:32.840 And I, you know, I'm not a cop or anything.

00:58:35.060 I, you know, I'm not a detective for sure, dude. 0.92

00:58:38.520 I can't even find my sandals that I fucking, I swear to God they were at my apartment. 0.99

00:58:44.080 Um, but yeah, you got molested, man. 0.99

00:58:47.040 I'm sorry to hear about that.

00:58:48.840 Let's hear another one.

00:58:49.940 What do we got here?

00:58:51.480 Hey, yo, this is Jaden from Indiana. 0.99

00:58:53.800 Uh, he told us to call in about the first time somebody touched your genitalia. 0.99

00:58:59.220 And I have a vivid memory of that, which was, I had this gal over to my house when I was 0.97

00:59:05.540 about 16 and, uh, you know, it was the first time I had her up to my room and I, bro, the

00:59:14.040 first time somebody comes to your room, it's so crazy.

00:59:22.200 You're, you don't even know what to do, dude.

00:59:25.720 It's so, the first time a girl comes to your room, you're just like, what?

00:59:30.900 I've only seen this on the internet.

00:59:34.840 Sorry, man.

00:59:35.520 I just had to relive that moment.

00:59:37.260 It's such a moment.

00:59:38.240 Onward, brother.

00:59:39.440 And I don't mean that.

00:59:40.660 I'm not trying to be creepy or nothing, but.

00:59:42.440 We are creepy, brother.

00:59:43.700 We're all creepy, dude.

00:59:45.760 This is the first time we were alone together.

00:59:47.800 So it was just destined to happen that something was going to go down.

00:59:52.740 And, uh, I remember the very first two minutes of my. 0.98

00:59:56.420 Bro, just tell us what fucking happened, dude. 0.99

00:59:59.520 This guy's just, Jesus, bro. 1.00

01:00:02.520 Tell us what happened, Onward.

01:00:03.980 My very first hand job, you know, my cousin walks into my door and, uh, my door was a blanket

01:00:11.600 tacked up to the door frame, you know, just covering the doorway there. 0.98

01:00:16.900 Bro, get a freaking door, dude. 0.97

01:00:19.980 You're trying to get a hand job behind a blanket, dude, like you're some kind of magician. 0.99

01:00:25.920 Get a door, Whitey. 1.00

01:00:29.360 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:00:30.000 I hate that. 1.00

01:00:30.720 I'm sorry to be upset with you.

01:00:32.100 You sound like you seem like a great guy. 0.99

01:00:33.320 But I, I, when people get a door, man, you have a whole room and you don't have a fucking 0.99

01:00:40.160 door. 0.99

01:00:42.220 Let's hear more.

01:00:44.160 This guy, he just bust through my blanket door.

01:00:47.880 It's a, it's not a door.

01:00:49.480 Don't say it's a door.

01:00:51.220 Tree fort, whatever you want to call it of a door.

01:00:54.460 And, uh, he's like, Oh my God, don't ever let me see you doing that again.

01:01:00.140 Like, dude, this is my room. 1.00

01:01:02.700 And here you're coming through my fucking blanket door, like an animal. 0.99

01:01:08.180 And, uh, it was just something else, brother. 1.00

01:01:11.360 Well, you put up a damn doggy door, dude. 1.00

01:01:14.200 You can't be shocked if somebody runs in through a damn doggy door, homie. 1.00

01:01:20.500 Get well, homie. 0.99

01:01:21.860 Praise God, brother.

01:01:23.040 Let's hear more, dude.

01:01:24.960 Hey, Theo.

01:01:25.820 My name is Mandy.

01:01:27.340 On your most recent episode, you asked people to call in about the first time. 0.74

01:01:32.700 The first time that they, um, that someone ever touched their genital area. 0.98

01:01:37.600 Show it on that dog. 0.99

01:01:40.880 Yes, ma'am.

01:01:41.660 I did.

01:01:42.120 Thank you for, uh, calling in about that.

01:01:44.780 Onward.

01:01:45.060 And my, uh, now husband, uh, we've been dating since we were both 15.

01:01:52.040 So when he was over at my house, uh, my parents, they were out in our hot tubs and it was just

01:01:58.680 us in the living room and we were watching, um, the movie Waterboy.

01:02:03.400 Whoa, whoa. 0.99

01:02:04.600 If somebody touches you, you'll fricking junk to Waterboy. 0.99

01:02:08.060 Waterboy. 0.99

01:02:11.520 Let's hear more.

01:02:13.100 And we started, like, making out and kissing and I was wearing these, like, dark jeans

01:02:19.080 and he started, he, like, put his hand down there and started, like, you know, rubbing

01:02:24.100 the area, but. 0.99

01:02:25.120 Oh my God, he's a pervert. 0.98

01:02:27.880 But obviously, you know, we're 15. 0.99

01:02:30.180 We don't know what we're doing.

01:02:31.760 He's, like, kind of, you know, being a little aggressive with it, a little hard.

01:02:35.320 Well, my mom came in from inside and so we, like, panicked and, like, jumped up and then

01:02:41.760 we looked at his hand and his hand was dyed blue, like, his fingers were dyed blue from

01:02:47.820 rubbing my jeans so hard.

01:02:50.040 And then this is kind of awkward because we were only 15, so we couldn't drive home.

01:02:54.600 So then my mom had to drive him home.

01:02:57.820 So I was a little awkward.

01:02:59.180 But after that, you know, that was the first time.

01:03:01.440 And so after that, we got kind of into it and he ended up riding his bike through a

01:03:07.140 blizzard for a few miles to come do it.

01:03:11.640 Wow.

01:03:12.160 You rode a bike through a blizzard to come, dude?

01:03:16.580 That's crazy. 1.00

01:03:19.600 That's the kind of shit that I'm like, what? 1.00

01:03:26.400 But, you know, we've all done things to ejaculate or to, I don't know what women 1.00

01:03:31.400 do, but to, you know, to pretend we're ejaculating. 0.78

01:03:36.580 Wow.

01:03:37.100 We rode a bike through a blizzard to come.

01:03:40.440 That's unbelievable.

01:03:42.000 Well, but yeah.

01:03:43.780 Oh, I can relate.

01:03:44.600 The jeans, the pant rubbing.

01:03:46.580 Dude, I remember.

01:03:47.440 Oh, this is horrible.

01:03:52.880 One of the first times I got.

01:03:54.320 So this girl, like there was these two girls in school when I was in like seventh or eighth 0.96

01:03:58.720 grade and they were like, they had like drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes and they were

01:04:04.040 like, they knew about the world, you know? 0.98

01:04:06.960 Like they probably like played with their, you know, vaginas or whatever. 1.00

01:04:14.040 And so my buddy and I went over there and I'm like, dude, we can't go over there, dude. 0.98

01:04:20.380 These girls are like real girls. 0.94

01:04:22.420 Like we can't handle that. 1.00

01:04:24.320 Look, we're fucking idiots, dude. 1.00

01:04:26.300 You know, we're eating lifesavers and stuff. 1.00

01:04:28.160 We can't.

01:04:28.600 What are we going to do?

01:04:29.900 We go over.

01:04:32.200 And this one girl, I rubbed on her. 0.99

01:04:34.200 I just remember rubbing on her pants so hard.

01:04:36.340 And she had had, she was dealing with a menstrual cycle.

01:04:44.080 She was dealing with a menstrual cycle that had come in or whatever. 0.99

01:04:46.880 And I just remember just, I mean, rubbing on her like a damn genie lamp. 0.99

01:04:59.040 I mean, just wishing, just wishing. 0.98

01:05:03.820 And at a certain point you could see that it was like, hey, dude, this ain't the time

01:05:07.920 to be using this lamp.

01:05:10.740 So it's just, I don't know.

01:05:13.940 I feel bad about some things, but. 0.93

01:05:15.820 But yeah, riding, driving through a blizzard to ejaculate is insane. 0.94

01:05:20.320 Let's hear more. 0.94

01:05:21.460 But again, so yeah.

01:05:23.140 And now we're married.

01:05:24.700 Oh, you're married now.

01:05:26.480 Well, that's beautiful.

01:05:28.400 Man, God loves and God lives.

01:05:31.060 That's beautiful.

01:05:32.160 Wow.

01:05:33.500 Oh, man, that's good.

01:05:35.400 Thank you so much for telling us that.

01:05:37.040 Let's hear another call that came in.

01:05:38.940 And this is about the first time somebody ever touched your cross.

01:05:41.420 Because there's, there's, you know, there's some times in your life you remember.

01:05:45.700 There's times in life you don't.

01:05:46.720 First time you went to Burger King.

01:05:48.840 Who gives an F, dude?

01:05:50.740 My mom used to work there, actually. 0.99

01:05:52.080 Just found out that this weekend.

01:05:54.300 Thanks, mom, for waiting your whole life to tell me stuff about you.

01:05:57.220 Um, let's hear another call.

01:06:01.780 Hey, Theo. 0.97

01:06:02.820 Uh, man, the first time that I got my genitals touched was, uh, I was about 13. 0.90

01:06:11.040 I just hit puberty.

01:06:13.020 And, uh, it was my 60 or 70 year old doctor.

01:06:18.140 Uh, it seemed like after I hit puberty, he would always ask my mom to go out in the hallway.

01:06:23.660 And so we can do the whatever.

01:06:25.920 And they'd fill me up and tell me to do different talks and stuff like that.

01:06:30.840 So it was definitely my doctor. 0.97

01:06:33.940 It sounds like you got molested, buddy.

01:06:35.380 And I'm not trying to accuse anybody.

01:06:37.080 I don't know the guy. 0.99

01:06:38.020 But if you stand in there and the guy is like, I'm going to hold your penis while you cough the star spangled banner or whatever, 1.00

01:06:44.900 then you were getting molested, dude. 1.00

01:06:48.140 You know, you know, if the guy's like, I'm going to hold your penis while you cough the lyric or, you know, 0.99

01:06:57.880 while you cough the beat to, um, forgot about Dre, then you got molested, you know? 0.99

01:07:07.320 And it's nothing personal and I feel sorry about it.

01:07:09.920 I don't know how else to say it.

01:07:12.180 Um, but yeah, but yeah, man, you just got to take care of yourself, dude.

01:07:17.380 And I hope you're doing better now.

01:07:19.420 And I really do hope that, man.

01:07:21.280 I really do.

01:07:22.660 And I love you, man.

01:07:23.820 Let's hear what else is going on.

01:07:26.800 Let's hear another call.

01:07:27.980 Hey, Theo.

01:07:31.940 Uh, this is Yovana from Texas.

01:07:33.760 I...

01:07:34.000 Hey, Yovana from Texas.

01:07:35.700 Thank you for calling.

01:07:36.560 I have a very interesting story for you.

01:07:40.380 So, so I'm black, right?

01:07:44.080 Okay.

01:07:44.760 And that's fine.

01:07:45.720 I know some, uh, I know a lot of black folks.

01:07:48.480 Onward.

01:07:48.840 And I was chatting it up with this, uh, white guy, right?

01:07:55.440 That's, like, 40-ish minutes away from me.

01:07:59.760 And, uh, so he called me on Snapchat, right?

01:08:02.840 So, like, so, like, we're on a call.

01:08:04.800 And then he says that if I was a slave, he would buy me.

01:08:10.860 And the worst part about that story is that it turned me on a little bit.

01:08:18.720 So, I don't know.

01:08:21.460 What are your thoughts on that?

01:08:23.920 Look, I mean, you know, I think, well, different things turn different people on.

01:08:30.680 You know?

01:08:31.620 There was a time in my life where I would put chocolate on women's back, you know, 1.00

01:08:35.080 and call them chocolate backs or whatever. 1.00

01:08:36.860 And that shit would, you know, make me, would, you know, turn me on and make me want to just 1.00

01:08:43.320 fucking, just really, just rattle inside of them, inside of those women. 1.00

01:08:49.400 And there's, um, you know, I think if he said, if you were a, I mean, this is crazy to be saying. 1.00

01:08:57.880 If he's, if he said, if you were a slave, I would buy you.

01:09:04.000 But then what would he do?

01:09:05.220 Would he set you free?

01:09:06.260 I think that would be my question. 0.99

01:09:10.000 Because if not, this guy is a sex trafficker. 0.99

01:09:13.800 You know? 0.99

01:09:15.240 So, that's where I'm at.

01:09:16.480 I would find out the next chapter of this book.

01:09:19.740 You know?

01:09:20.560 How many years a slave?

01:09:22.240 You know, that's what I would find out. 1.00

01:09:24.300 Because that's some, that's some wild shit. 0.99

01:09:27.680 But then, you know, I think there's some people that don't care. 0.99

01:09:30.080 You know, a lot of, some of that stuff, it just, it's so far in the past.

01:09:32.920 Some people are able to just look past it and they think that it's, it can be okay.

01:09:37.180 It can be a Halloween costume or whatever.

01:09:39.180 We had a Halloween costume one time.

01:09:41.400 It was a mixed couple that showed up to our door.

01:09:46.580 And they were like in like a slave and like slave owner role or whatever.

01:09:51.520 And the, and the woman had the guy on a leash or whatever. 0.99

01:09:56.360 So, you know, I, some people, it might be like a party thing.

01:10:01.680 I don't know what kind of parties there are out there.

01:10:04.000 Like if there's like any like, um, like Harriet Tubba Palooza or whatever.

01:10:09.300 I don't know the kind of stuff that's happening.

01:10:11.800 I, I don't know.

01:10:13.800 I'm attracted to black women. 1.00

01:10:15.400 I think some of them are taller than me, but some of them aren't.

01:10:20.180 But, um, I don't know.

01:10:22.560 I don't know anything, but I hope you guys are still in love or whatever, if you want

01:10:26.640 to be.

01:10:27.300 And I hope that you got, this isn't funny.

01:10:32.000 I hope you got emancipated if he was willing to do that, because it sounds like you guys 0.99

01:10:35.980 are into some weird shit. 0.98

01:10:37.780 Um, what else do we have going on? 0.99

01:10:42.220 Uh, here we go.

01:10:45.460 We got a call right here.

01:10:49.300 Hey, Theo, I needed some help, man.

01:10:51.880 Uh, I figured you was the guy to call about it.

01:10:55.280 Uh, so I got a, uh, uncle who's, who's handicapped and, uh, he's in a wheelchair and I had to carry 0.96

01:11:03.620 him in. 0.99

01:11:04.300 Well, hopefully he's in a damn wheelchair. 1.00

01:11:06.340 Hopefully y'all, y'all ain't just dragging him around, you know, let's hear more. 0.99

01:11:11.060 To carry him in to the house.

01:11:13.580 Cause he can't, he can't walk or anything.

01:11:15.660 And I touched his winger a little bit and I was just, I'm trying to, I'm trying to wrap

01:11:19.980 my head around the fact, you know, you know, that we make contact and, uh, just trying

01:11:27.200 to, I was just trying to figure out if I was, if I was, y'all, y'all didn't make contact.

01:11:31.920 You touched his wiener, dude.

01:11:33.440 That's what you just said. 0.95

01:11:35.740 You touched his wiener.

01:11:36.980 If I go to a zoo or something and somebody's standing there looking at the pandas or whatever,

01:11:43.080 eating popcorn and I touch the guy's wiener, they don't have anything to do with him, that,

01:11:47.860 that guy, he's enjoying animals and eating, uh, carbs or whatever.

01:11:52.760 I'm the, we, I'm touching the guys.

01:11:54.480 If you carry somebody in, let's hear more.

01:11:56.760 This is confusing.

01:11:57.540 My uncle who's, who's handicapped and, uh, he's in a wheelchair and I had to carry him

01:12:05.340 in to the house cause he can't, he can't walk or anything.

01:12:09.160 And I touched his wiener a little bit and I was just, I'm trying to, I'm trying to wrap 0.54

01:12:13.480 my head around the fact, you know, you know, that we make contact.

01:12:17.980 Yeah.

01:12:18.400 Look, I now understand a little better.

01:12:20.000 So you was carrying him and he touched his wiener a little.

01:12:22.300 Now I'll say that if you carry him back out and touch his wiener and he keeps saying,

01:12:25.480 hey, carry me in, carry me out, carry me in, carry me out, carry me in, carry me out. 0.51

01:12:29.080 And then you got to change his, change his pants or whatever. 0.99

01:12:33.080 Then that's, that shit seems illegal to me, dude. 1.00

01:12:37.720 Then you guys are gay, I think. 1.00

01:12:39.800 So, yeah, I think if it's, but if once a day you carry him from here to there or whatever 0.98

01:12:43.600 and touch his wiener a little bit or just mile, you know, keep him fired up or whatever

01:12:48.560 about the next day or whatever, I think that's fine.

01:12:51.560 But if you're carting him all over until he ejacks or whatever, and then you, 0.90

01:12:55.480 to me, you are a, oh, you're a bad guy.

01:13:01.460 And that's what I'll tell you, brother. 0.99

01:13:03.060 And I'm not judging you because I don't know you, but you've been touching that guy's wiener 0.99

01:13:08.560 and he's handicapped.

01:13:10.880 And that's the scariest thing about touching a handicapped guy's wiener is they can't stop you. 1.00

01:13:17.400 So, if you want, you can do unlimited touches on it.

01:13:24.940 And that's where the devil lives, brother.

01:13:27.260 What else do we have going on here?

01:13:32.420 Here we go.

01:13:33.240 We got a call right here.

01:13:34.180 I like this, man.

01:13:35.040 I can already tell by the tagline.

01:13:39.100 Hey, man.

01:13:39.980 This is Cody from Alabama.

01:13:42.280 I'm just calling to say hey and tell you that I appreciate you.

01:13:46.560 I listen to you every day when I'm at work.

01:13:50.140 Thanks, Cody, man.

01:13:50.820 I appreciate you, too, brother.

01:13:51.980 I appreciate you calling as well.

01:13:53.800 And it's taking some time to share some of your life with us, man.

01:13:56.960 Onward.

01:13:57.280 I work for a machine shop, but I took some advice that you gave when you had Dave Ramsey on.

01:14:07.560 You had suggested ways of, you know, making extra money.

01:14:11.680 So, I went and bought a pressure washer.

01:14:14.160 And just as expensive as things are now, I got a family.

01:14:19.500 I've got three kids.

01:14:20.620 And, you know, they're not cheap.

01:14:22.520 So, I just needed an extra way to make some money.

01:14:26.580 So, I took your advice.

01:14:28.980 And, man, I'm cleaning up.

01:14:33.260 Like, I'm getting, you know, one or two jobs a weekend now.

01:14:39.000 So, I just wanted to call in and say thanks for the advice.

01:14:42.780 And I appreciate, you know, everything you do.

01:14:46.800 Hey, man.

01:14:47.540 Thank you so much, dude.

01:14:48.660 I'm going to reach out.

01:14:51.120 I'm going to hire you for a job, dude.

01:14:52.720 I got your number.

01:14:53.440 I know you called in here from the hotline.

01:14:55.540 I'm going to hire you for a job somewhere.

01:14:57.500 I'm sure I got a friend down there who could use some pressure washing. 0.82

01:15:00.120 So, I'm going to put another job on your calendar over there, my boy.

01:15:05.880 Yeah, I appreciate it.

01:15:06.800 Look, man, thanks for trying it out.

01:15:08.840 I think it's something.

01:15:09.820 It's like, you know, it's that next step of how do I become my own boss?

01:15:16.280 How do I work for me?

01:15:18.120 You know, how am I in control of what I do?

01:15:19.820 And the pressure wash is just the most simple little thing.

01:15:22.840 But people don't want to go out and deal with it.

01:15:25.660 You know, I remember when I first moved to Los Angeles, I put up flyers.

01:15:29.160 I said, I'll clean your refrigerator.

01:15:31.720 Clean your refrigerator.

01:15:32.900 People don't want to clean their refrigerators. 0.64

01:15:37.720 You know what I'm saying?

01:15:38.060 You think about it.

01:15:38.700 You clean your whole house. 1.00

01:15:39.680 That bitch is fucking weird in there. 1.00

01:15:41.740 And there's some weird things on the wall. 1.00

01:15:43.420 There's some damn mustard here. 0.99

01:15:44.760 There's something sweated on the fucking glass or plastic in there. 1.00

01:15:49.840 You know, I remember doing that, man. 0.99

01:15:53.660 Putting up flyers. 0.98

01:15:54.900 I ever fucking get called people come killing my refrigerator. 1.00

01:15:57.680 Some lady, I went over to her house and she kept showing me her damn, her damn produce drawer. 1.00

01:16:02.960 You feel me? 1.00

01:16:03.560 She was showing that bitch. 1.00

01:16:07.620 Right over there off of damn Barrington, brother, out in Los Angeles. 1.00

01:16:11.060 But amen, brother. 0.95

01:16:13.920 Thank you for trying.

01:16:15.180 I'm going to hit you up.

01:16:16.380 I'm going to email myself right now so I don't forget.

01:16:19.640 I'm going to hit you up and I'll hire you for a gig. 0.95

01:16:23.140 But I appreciate that, man.

01:16:26.400 And congrats for you.

01:16:28.000 It's the little things where you start to take control of your own life.

01:16:31.220 Or just try and like, okay, well, how do I be a boss of myself?

01:16:35.140 And you start to learn about yourself.

01:16:36.580 Some of it's kind of fascinating, I think, too, to be brave enough to do that.

01:16:40.640 Let's take another call that hit here.

01:16:43.920 I was just calling again from Michigan.

01:16:47.740 Just wanted to let you know, I passed over the month mark yesterday.

01:16:52.800 And I'm over a month sober now.

01:16:55.980 Let's go!

01:16:58.640 Mom dog! 0.99

01:17:02.980 Man, that's so cool, dude.

01:17:06.340 Wow.

01:17:06.860 Wow.

01:17:07.460 Wow, man.

01:17:11.540 Thank you for sharing that with me, bro.

01:17:14.540 Hell yeah.

01:17:15.640 That's the best thing about the program, dude, is when somebody gets a month or gets a year

01:17:19.700 and you just, you know that you've like, you've been there so you can feel that excitement so much, you know.

01:17:26.680 Just that feeling that something new is possible.

01:17:29.180 That feeling that something new is possible, that's the feeling, man.

01:17:38.260 That was the feeling I would get when I was stuck in like addiction or stuck in like mourning over like a relationship or something.

01:17:46.120 And you finally get that day, that one day where you feel like something new is possible.

01:17:53.160 Man, thank you for sharing, man.

01:17:56.760 It's hard to, you know, I'm almost kind of stealing your joy here.

01:18:00.820 But, yeah, it just makes me feel so good, man.

01:18:07.300 You know, because to be a month away from the pain you were in, that's what makes me feel like.

01:18:12.740 Like, you know, it's just so important, man.

01:18:18.000 It's like to be a month away from that pain you were in, you know.

01:18:24.760 And I'm not trying to read your life or anything.

01:18:26.100 I don't know.

01:18:26.340 You might have been fine.

01:18:27.580 But just so many times you see guys and you can feel that just like that hope in them that, like, I'm a month away from the pain that I was in.

01:18:37.880 And I think maybe I just even think about it for me, but it's something that a lot of us can relate to in program, dog.

01:18:43.820 And I'm so proud of you, bro.

01:18:45.280 Congratulations, frickin' relations, boy. 1.00

01:18:49.340 I will eat somebody's ass, dog. 1.00

01:18:51.560 You feel me? 1.00

01:18:52.640 Better be a woman. 1.00

01:18:54.220 What's up?

01:18:56.360 And it's actually quite great.

01:19:01.220 Everything's kind of shaping up.

01:19:02.780 I've found God.

01:19:04.640 Yeah, boy, the Lord will show up, boy.

01:19:09.240 When you put it together, I will say this about the Lord. 0.99

01:19:13.760 Once you do your shit, he kind of come around, bro. 1.00

01:19:16.380 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:19:17.200 So, sometimes when you ain't doing your part, he, you know, the Lord kind of waits for you to start a little before he show up.

01:19:24.840 I ain't judging him, but that's what the Lord kind of do, bro.

01:19:28.540 I got a whole new meaning in my life, man, and I'm doing it for me, man.

01:19:36.180 I just wanted to let you know that you're an absolute inspiration to me and many others, and I keep doing what you're doing. 0.54

01:19:43.020 Oh, I'm just a retarded guy. 0.92

01:19:45.320 No offense if anybody's retarded, man. 1.00

01:19:47.640 I just am just a human being.

01:19:49.720 And you are too, man, and we're just trying to be, you know. 0.79

01:19:58.640 You know, and I know it's weird to connect through a fucking radio or whatever, but I think we're so, like, I don't know. 0.77

01:20:07.540 We're starved for connection, I think. 0.96

01:20:09.100 I don't know.

01:20:09.480 Maybe I am.

01:20:10.180 Who knows?

01:20:11.440 But I'm just proud of you, man.

01:20:13.500 I really am.

01:20:14.300 And I can hear in your voice, bro, that you're proud of you.

01:20:17.320 And I think that's what I think really makes me feel something.

01:20:24.440 You know, just hearing somebody be proud of themselves, just at a cellular level, to hear somebody be, man, I'm proud of myself, you know.

01:20:35.440 You don't even have to say the words, but we can feel it.

01:20:38.140 So that's great, man.

01:20:39.580 Amen, brother.

01:20:40.480 God bless that.

01:20:43.340 What else do we have? 0.99

01:20:47.320 Let's hear one more about the first time somebody touched your genitalia. 1.00

01:20:51.140 Let's hear it. 1.00

01:20:52.120 Because it's such a crazy time.

01:20:54.280 Hey, Theo.

01:20:55.260 My name's Holden.

01:20:56.380 I live in New Brunswick, Canada.

01:20:59.420 Holden.

01:20:59.920 Thank you for calling, brother. 0.98

01:21:02.900 Talking about my first time someone touched my genitalia. 0.91

01:21:06.600 This was back in high school. 0.98

01:21:08.340 I was at a party, you know, we drinking.

01:21:10.000 And this is the first time I'm kind of drinking, too. 0.98

01:21:12.960 So I obviously don't know the consequences of what that does to your genitalia. 0.96

01:21:18.220 Oh, you don't know the consequences of what drinking does to your genitalia. 0.80

01:21:21.420 You understood, Onward? 0.94

01:21:22.260 I see this pretty girl, and I strike up a conversation, and one thing leads to another, and we're in the bathroom.

01:21:27.940 But my little Peter decides not to work.

01:21:31.280 And I'm embarrassed.

01:21:32.580 I'm like, ah, this never happens.

01:21:34.060 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:21:36.060 Every now and then, your penis will file for unemployment. 1.00

01:21:39.480 Onward. 0.99

01:21:40.200 That never happened ever before.

01:21:41.940 She's like, oh, it's okay.

01:21:43.260 It's okay.

01:21:44.480 We get out.

01:21:45.420 Everything's fine.

01:21:46.660 Go to school the next day.

01:21:49.080 My new nickname, Baby Dick. 0.97

01:21:52.280 And that situation kind of sucked. 0.86

01:21:55.240 But we're past it now.

01:21:57.700 Yeah, we're past it.

01:21:58.880 But you just told everybody about it.

01:22:00.980 But, yeah, that's tough, dude.

01:22:04.380 I remember when I was a kid, if a girl even tried to touch my wiener, I would just say, my wiener's super long.

01:22:09.460 I would repeat that over and over again, almost to try to trick them.

01:22:12.300 Like, my wiener's super long.

01:22:13.320 My wiener's super long.

01:22:14.580 My wiener's super long.

01:22:15.600 My wiener's super long.

01:22:17.580 And they would touch it. 1.00

01:22:19.360 I think they didn't even fuck it. 0.99

01:22:20.340 They were like, one girl, I remember her pulling it. 0.99

01:22:23.160 Like, is there more of it?

01:22:24.280 It just doesn't seem like there's that much more of it.

01:22:27.080 And so I think, yeah, there's a little bit of reverse psychology there when it comes to somebody touching your wiener, you know?

01:22:34.380 But it is what it is, man.

01:22:37.860 But thank you for sharing that with us, dude.

01:22:40.260 And just, yeah, there's – it's such a time in your life.

01:22:45.500 All right, let's get – finish this episode.

01:22:50.760 I want to say thank you to everybody that came out in Idaho and Utah, everybody that came out in England and Ireland.

01:22:59.100 Everybody that's come out everywhere, I think one of the disappointing parts about not doing a lot of solo episodes is not being able to thank everybody for the different shows and different weekends.

01:23:07.620 And, man, I even did a show in New Orleans, and I don't even know when I was on stage if I thanked the people that were from my hometown for coming.

01:23:16.400 You know, some of it's nothing purposeful.

01:23:18.400 You just get – you're just going.

01:23:22.040 I mean, you know, sometimes you just don't know what's going on.

01:23:24.980 You're just trying to keep your head above your shoulders, you know?

01:23:30.760 But I just want to say thank you guys for bearing with me, and I'm trying to focus.

01:23:38.460 The second half of this year, I want to start some type of a foundation or something

01:23:43.860 and start to create ways to give back to people or groups or something.

01:23:48.680 I don't know what it is yet, and I know we've talked about it for a while, but I just feel it in my heart all the time, you know?

01:23:56.760 And I know we all feel that.

01:23:58.060 I have so many people that reach out and they're like, I just want to help people.

01:24:00.240 I just want to – you know?

01:24:03.220 And so, yeah, I don't know how to start putting that together or what it is.

01:24:06.920 And some of it I think I'm just going to pray about, you know, and see what God shares with me.

01:24:17.600 But, yeah, just thank you guys for just giving me just a lot, just something to do, you know?

01:24:28.180 So thank you for being a part of my life and letting me be a part of yours.

01:24:34.800 I mean that.

01:24:37.600 Hi, Theo.

01:24:39.560 It's David Froyland from Indiana.

01:24:42.640 What's up, David?

01:24:43.420 Nice to hear you call, brother.

01:24:44.780 A young fella here, obviously, it sounds like, or a man with a very young vocal box.

01:24:51.780 Onward.

01:24:53.100 My whole family is a big fan of you.

01:24:56.040 They listen to you all the time.

01:24:58.860 I am.

01:24:59.260 Personally, I think you're one of the funniest guys on the planet.

01:25:03.400 And just keep doing what you do, man.

01:25:06.260 God bless.

01:25:07.480 And don't ever let anyone bring you down.

01:25:13.300 Okay.

01:25:14.780 Bye-bye, Theo.

01:25:15.760 I love you.

01:25:17.480 Gang, man.

01:25:18.320 I appreciate that.

01:25:19.140 You know, it's kind of funny.

01:25:29.040 It's almost like it's like a kid, like me calling from the past or something.

01:25:36.920 You know, I wonder if that, I mean, I believe that's a real person.

01:25:39.780 And obviously it's not me calling from the past.

01:25:41.640 But I think it's interesting how voices come in to your life or, and it could just as well be you calling from the past.

01:25:51.740 Imagine if little you could call from the past and say, hey, man, we love you and don't let anything bring you down.

01:25:59.260 Man, how cool would that be?

01:26:00.640 Man, how cool would that be?

01:26:31.520 David Froyland from Indiana.

01:26:34.500 Okay, let's not play his name because that makes it not me, but let's play the rest of it.

01:26:40.000 My whole family is a big fan of you.

01:26:43.220 They listen to you all the time.

01:26:45.660 I am personally, I think you're one of the funniest guys on the planet.

01:26:50.240 And just keep doing what you do, man.

01:26:53.040 God bless.

01:26:54.260 And don't ever let anyone bring you down.

01:27:00.000 Okay.

01:27:00.640 Just a little thought.

01:27:03.680 It's just kind of funny, you know, if I could sit there and think if a young me called, man, what would he say to the future?

01:27:09.280 You know, what would he really say?

01:27:11.860 I don't know.

01:27:12.660 All right, let's take one more call that came in, man.

01:27:16.300 Hey, Theo.

01:27:17.660 This is your fan and supporter, Tommy Gill from Roanoke, Virginia.

01:27:23.580 Tommy boy.

01:27:25.080 What's going on, Cat Daddy?

01:27:26.700 I just want to tell you, bro. 0.99

01:27:29.600 You came back here this past October and killed it, man.

01:27:34.560 I had a really good time at your show, man.

01:27:36.860 I had a blast, dude.

01:27:38.760 And I rocked that Rat King t-shirt everywhere I go.

01:27:43.240 And people always ask me about it.

01:27:44.640 And I tell them, look you up, man.

01:27:46.440 Thank you, dude.

01:27:47.980 I appreciate that, man.

01:27:49.080 My brother has a Rat King t-shirt that he wears sometimes.

01:27:53.300 And it's like it makes my day when he wears it, you know.

01:27:57.200 You know, I know he wears it because he's proud of me.

01:28:01.600 But it just, I don't know.

01:28:02.480 There's just something about it that makes me feel good.

01:28:06.140 Anyway, that seemed a little bit weird.

01:28:09.140 But thank you, dude, for sharing.

01:28:11.000 Thanks for coming out to Roanoke, dude.

01:28:12.340 I felt like that was a tough show, kind of, to be honest with you.

01:28:15.200 But I appreciate you coming out onward.

01:28:17.760 I just want to show you support, man.

01:28:19.400 I just hit an Alcoholics Anonymous.

01:28:24.680 Just, I got a month's chip today.

01:28:27.960 It's not the first time.

01:28:29.540 But I did do that today.

01:28:31.780 So I'm feeling pretty good about it, man.

01:28:33.740 And I just wanted to share with another person in recovery and someone who understands.

01:28:39.480 Because sometimes it's a little lonely out here, bud.

01:28:43.180 Yeah, tell me why.

01:28:46.780 That's awesome, dude.

01:28:48.840 I know we had another call a minute ago about it.

01:28:51.140 But that's awesome, man.

01:28:52.680 There's just something about it, bro.

01:28:55.140 There's something about it.

01:28:56.280 And thank you so much for calling and sharing that with me, man.

01:28:58.400 I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this call.

01:29:02.480 But yeah, man, there's just something about it.

01:29:04.780 30 days off of anything, bro.

01:29:06.560 30 days off looking at your hands.

01:29:08.360 See if you can do that.

01:29:09.240 People can't do 30 days off of anything.

01:29:12.420 So to do 30 days off of something, man, it's just so powerful.

01:29:15.440 And it's because it's you saying, hey, I want to have a say in how I behave.

01:29:23.240 You know?

01:29:23.780 And there's no judgment against people that don't do it.

01:29:25.860 It's just because some people don't need to do it.

01:29:27.760 They're fine.

01:29:28.220 They're behaving fine. 1.00

01:29:28.960 But fucking guys like us, Tommy, or the girls will be here soon. 1.00

01:29:35.100 You know what I'm saying, brother? 1.00

01:29:36.720 The girls are never coming, Tommy.

01:29:40.460 Oh, man.

01:29:41.920 Dude, I'm so happy for you.

01:29:44.820 I really am. 0.99

01:29:45.640 Just like it makes me – it feels like my heart just comes to the top of my fucking body 0.99

01:29:52.200 and smiles or something, you know. 0.99

01:29:56.400 Onward.

01:29:58.120 Yeah, man.

01:29:59.040 I hope you're doing well, man.

01:30:00.920 You know, we all got problems, but I think our problems are a little more manageable

01:30:07.700 when we're not drinking and when we're not trying to suppress our feelings

01:30:12.320 and we can clearly think about it.

01:30:14.660 Listen to that.

01:30:15.400 You hear that?

01:30:16.040 You hear what that is right there, guys?

01:30:17.580 That's a young man who has a little bit of clarity and he's able to see his life

01:30:24.420 a little bit more as when you're, like, viewing something, like looking out of a window

01:30:31.560 as opposed to viewing it where you are looking out of a drain.

01:30:42.340 And I'm not judging.

01:30:43.440 I don't know what your life was like before, Tommy, but I just think it's, like,

01:30:45.720 for all of us, you know, you're not looking from the complete bottom up anymore.

01:30:52.880 You're looking out of a window or, you know, a third-story window.

01:30:56.140 Just something you can get a little bit of a view and you can realize that everything's okay,

01:31:00.760 that you have a chance.

01:31:02.960 Man, I love you, bro.

01:31:04.300 I appreciate you making that call.

01:31:06.760 Just filling us in, dude, because, yeah, it's moments like this, man,

01:31:10.260 that make other people think that they can keep going, and me too.

01:31:15.720 You know, it makes us all think that we can keep going, you know.

01:31:22.680 Because I believe that God picked us to live out here in this life,

01:31:26.880 and I think that that means something.

01:31:28.840 And I don't know what it means yet, and that's okay.

01:31:31.800 But there are moments when I connect with other people, like in little moments,

01:31:36.500 that I almost feel like I find the meaning of what it means to be alive, you know.

01:31:43.160 It feels like I get a little closer to it every time I make an important connection with somebody

01:31:47.880 or have a moment with somebody.

01:31:50.620 I'm not trying to glorify myself or anything, but just every time there's a moment

01:31:55.540 where I see two people connect.

01:31:57.340 It could be somebody waiting at the airport, you know.

01:31:59.220 Sometimes you get to some airports, and you see somebody waiting for their loved one to get home

01:32:04.260 from military sometimes.

01:32:05.640 They've been in service.

01:32:07.180 And you'll see somebody waiting there with flowers.

01:32:08.980 Or you'll see a guy waiting for flowers for a girl that he cares about.

01:32:12.000 You don't see it that much anymore.

01:32:13.920 But when you see it, there's like a moment like that, you know.

01:32:16.280 Or if somebody's walking with their kid and the kid looks at you, you know,

01:32:21.700 and you smile or wave at the kid, you know, and you're not a pedo or something,

01:32:24.560 you're a regular guy, just happy to wave at a child.

01:32:28.200 You're like, oh, that me, it just, there's little glories like that,

01:32:32.320 little moments like that in life that make you feel like, okay,

01:32:35.500 maybe I'm on the right path here. 0.93

01:32:38.720 Anyway, sorry to get into all kinds of shit today, but what do you expect, dude? 0.99

01:32:43.260 I'm a fucking WNBA game-goer. 0.99

01:32:49.260 I'll admit it, Dad. 0.99

01:32:55.560 But, yeah, I'm just, thank you.

01:32:58.000 Thank you guys for being a part of my life.

01:32:59.520 We're going to go out on this show the way that we come into it, baby,

01:33:02.240 because we didn't do it right on the way in, but we're going to go out right on the way out, baby.

01:33:08.400 Let me slurp that, baby. 1.00

01:33:10.860 Sorry.

01:33:11.220 The devil said that, but he used me to do it.

01:33:15.400 I love you guys, man.

01:33:16.480 Be good to yourselves.

01:33:17.880 You know how it is, baby.

01:33:19.340 Bishop Gun, dog, the way we do, son.

01:33:21.600 I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my home.

01:33:44.480 Gang, gang, baby! 0.96

01:33:45.740 And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown.

01:33:54.720 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:34:03.940 I must be calling a stone.

01:34:09.320 Oh, but when I reach that mind, I'll share this peace of mind.

01:34:13.980 Love you guys, man.

01:34:22.360 Love you guys, man.

01:34:22.420 A little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.

01:34:30.460 Shine that light on me.

01:34:36.840 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

01:34:42.060 Shine on me.

01:34:46.120 And I will find a song.

01:34:49.640 I will sing it just for you.

01:34:52.900 You guys be good to yourselves, baby.

01:34:55.520 Praise God, man.

01:34:56.520 I love y'all, and I'll see you guys soon.

01:35:00.380 And thank you for being a part of my life.

01:35:01.960 As always, the hotline, 985-664-9503, baby.

01:35:06.700 Gang, gang, I'm upstairs!

01:35:22.900 ...

01:35:24.920 ...

01:35:28.240 ...

01:35:29.020 ...

01:35:30.540 ...

01:35:34.300 ...

01:35:41.700 ...

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 11, 2024

E516 Competitive Kingdom

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript