E517 Andrew Santino
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 1 minute
Words per Minute
204.34001
Summary
Comedian Andrew Santino joins me to talk about his new podcast, Whiskey, Ginger, and Bad Friends, and how he came out to his friends and family about his sexuality. We also talk about why gay people should not go to high altitudes.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:10.720
Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
00:00:25.260
Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:00:30.120
I've got some tour dates to tell you about Bethel, New York.
00:00:42.740
We're coming back during the LSU-USC football game weekend.
00:01:13.860
And thank you so much for supporting Live Comedy.
00:01:23.980
And I'm just really grateful that he's coming in today.
00:01:27.060
You know him from his podcast, Whiskey, Ginger, and Bad Friends.
00:01:32.860
He's got a bunch of new tour dates coming up for his fall tour.
00:01:36.560
I'm grateful to spend time today with Mr. Andrew Santino.
00:02:20.060
Dude, I went to dinner with a buddy of mine the other day.
00:02:28.740
Let me get something in my belly first before I hear that kind of news.
00:02:31.200
Well, let me get something in my mouth if you've had something in yours.
00:02:39.460
I didn't realize how nervous I would get if somebody was like...
00:03:02.020
My uncle used to get the hiccups if somebody was gay around him.
00:03:11.740
And you'd see him start to fucking kind of bubble up a little.
00:03:21.880
Uh, years later, it's just, uh, he got started getting around his son and then he started
00:03:36.520
You know, at higher altitudes, I think people...
00:03:56.060
You know, it says who should not go to high altitudes.
00:04:01.580
Well, it says sickle cell, so brothers aren't allowed up there.
00:04:20.620
Congrats on Bad Friends, all the success you guys have had.
00:05:11.200
Everything kind of feels a little bit smoother.
00:05:19.640
You know, it's like if you're panning for a goal,
00:05:23.880
And I think also it probably creates a lot more stage time
00:05:35.780
And it was tough for us to get, you know, like...
00:05:44.880
Yeah, but you never had a thought to go to Austin, right?
00:05:49.280
And I'm still thinking about maybe getting a place there.
00:05:53.300
Yeah, just because I went down there for two weeks,
00:06:19.500
It's always a food and a politician with him, you know?
00:06:42.100
It's not a meal that I want to eat all the time.
00:07:03.260
And the sauce is just so much like sugar and like...
00:07:35.340
Because, yeah, I'll drink a sip of cold water after
00:08:09.000
It's like knowing if you really have ten or whatever,
00:08:14.520
And then there's that one that's just like this,
00:08:30.680
Who knew how to fix the chains when they fell off?
00:08:35.560
If the chains were messed up on the gear switching,
00:08:42.340
Yeah, and then he'd just disappear into the fucking ether.
00:09:10.180
Dude, yeah, so bad for you guys just like fucking, it was a perfect combination, man.
00:09:18.280
It was great timing, and then the pandemic helped the show.
00:09:22.400
But when Bobby went back to rehab, which I've sent him to three times, we're trying to keep
00:09:27.060
him safe and clean, and he's doing a great job.
00:09:29.680
But when he went back to rehab after his dad died, the story goes that he relapsed.
00:09:41.360
Maybe there was suspicion that he was acting weird, but he's a weirdo.
00:09:45.280
So, it's like, how do you really, but then he was hiding out a lot.
00:09:52.060
I kind of started to, you know, question, like, I'll just ruin our friendship, I guess,
00:10:01.400
Because he was like, I'll never talk to you again if you tell anybody that I'm using.
00:10:07.740
And then, really, before I started to go after and tell people, Kalilah came at me
00:10:14.420
and was like, I knew he's using, and I knew he, like, used you against me to try to hide
00:10:20.300
And she's like, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
00:10:21.840
But then, finally, he admitted it to me, and he apologized and was like, I'll go get help.
00:10:25.940
And I said, he goes, when I get out, we'll start the show.
00:10:28.920
Because Kalilah, when I had filled in for Tiger Belly, she had been like, go do a show
00:10:33.260
Because the fans wanted it, and people talked about it.
00:10:35.480
So, when he got out and he got clean, that's when we started it.
00:10:40.300
It was almost like a gift from God, because then we got to just shoot all the time and
00:10:48.220
If you're really building one, I think you've got to have time.
00:10:50.900
I think that's one thing that I didn't realize, I think, over the years is just, like, how
00:10:59.720
And then, when I first started going on Rogan's, and then I realized he does this job
00:11:12.020
And he still has kettlebells in his hand while he's doing it.
00:11:14.640
Like, in the middle of it, he's just ripping bells.
00:11:18.120
He's the most impressive work ethic I've ever seen in my entire life.
00:11:24.020
And then open a comedy club and change the scene.
00:11:27.320
It's, like, for anyone that has any doubts or any questions or even thoughts about him
00:11:31.480
that are, you know, negative or against the grain, it's like, you don't understand that
00:11:39.780
I wonder how much pressure he, and he doesn't let, if he does feel pressure, he doesn't let
00:11:47.800
Because, well, I think he's, he deals with it in the only way he knows how, which is just
00:11:54.000
One time we were sitting in the green room, we were on, when I first went on tour with
00:12:01.700
You know, like I was kind of like soaking it in and he was like, yeah, but you know,
00:12:05.960
Meaning like, just do it, enjoy it and make it seem like it's any other show.
00:12:10.900
Don't let it be like overwhelming where you start thinking too much and then you get in
00:12:14.300
your head about it and then it kind of consumes you.
00:12:16.760
And then you can become one of those people who's like, how come I'm not, how come it's not,
00:12:23.300
He's like, just, just be in it and keep moving.
00:12:31.980
Cause I think, yeah, once you get going in podcasts, you're like, you obviously want to shoot for
00:12:36.760
You were like, I mean, I know there was a time when we all, I feel like we're trying to not
00:12:40.940
be like Rogan, but it was like, you look, you know, you shoot for the, you wanted to do
00:12:48.060
Well, I'm not going to, I'm going to learn from Michael Jordan, you know?
00:13:01.680
I'm not going to learn from Carl Malone and this fucking 12 year old wife child, you
00:13:09.660
I, people don't know that, but everybody knows that.
00:13:12.160
But, um, I do, I want to know what was it like touring with bad friends?
00:13:18.620
I mean, cause I remember I, I ran across you guys.
00:13:25.340
So, I mean, you know, I'm not going to, I don't want to do it to make you feel a type
00:13:29.900
of way, but I'm so proud of you and so happy for you as a friend who's known you for so
00:13:37.000
And it really does make, you know, it's kind of like, cause you're ours a little bit, you
00:13:45.060
I know proud is a weird word, but I'm happy for you or whatever.
00:13:47.800
And when we're in DC, we did one show at the constitution hall and Theo was gracious enough
00:14:01.860
And, uh, we barely sold out one and he sold out five.
00:14:09.580
We had a great night together and we're chatting and like, I wanted to be at y'all show.
00:14:12.940
Well, those moments were amazing because like the road has dull moments where you're
00:14:26.420
Everyone has to be on the bus, but, um, is that fun?
00:14:31.500
Like, I can't imagine being on wheels with Bobby.
00:14:37.500
Cause at least you're on land, you can disappear.
00:14:54.760
Well, if you think about Asians, like they don't, there's the kamikaze pilots, right?
00:15:00.200
That's a, no, that's, and then there's, um, driving Asians is throughout the history
00:15:14.300
And then even like, if you go to look at like Iwo Jima, like the troops, they would
00:15:18.380
hide in the tunnels or in Vietnam in the Coochie tunnels.
00:15:20.700
Like it's very, once they get in motion, they can't handle it.
00:15:25.160
Well, uh, you know, it's, I think it's tough when they're like Bob, if you ever see Bob
00:15:34.420
I'll have to hold him sometimes if he's in a hurry.
00:15:36.640
So I'll shoulder him up if he's in a hurry so we can walk in a straighter line.
00:15:50.020
Because I remember he sneezed once and blew his back out.
00:15:55.460
He'll, the muscle, at some point he'll have a muscle just on his high shoulder.
00:15:58.340
If he's, if he was moving a lot, it'll move down to his, his leg.
00:16:13.760
I had a, I don't even know if you heard this through the grapevine.
00:16:15.680
I had a, I almost, almost had a, well, I did have a mental breakdown with him at, at
00:16:35.420
And then he was, he, we were supposed to go to Dolly World, Dollywood, uh, at a certain
00:16:42.180
At a reasonable adult time, like 1130 or noon, reasonable adult.
00:16:46.460
And he had slept in past when we were going to all go together.
00:16:49.280
Then he threw a fit about it that we were rushing him, which is insane.
00:16:55.840
So we get on the bus, we go, we get to Dollywood, we get in.
00:17:00.140
And then he says, I want to sit down and eat a meal.
00:17:14.180
So I left and they were all like, oh, where are you going?
00:17:17.320
I just wanted to be, some days you want to just be alone.
00:17:33.880
And his girlfriend doesn't say, it doesn't make any, any comments about it.
00:17:37.100
Cause I said, you're not going to say anything about Paul.
00:17:41.460
Well, and I agree, but she, he picked me up and I had told, I had asked him where the closest airport
00:17:47.940
was cause I was going to fly home to Chicago to see my parents.
00:17:53.060
And then they got in the Uber hours later and the same guy was like, your friend asking for a local airport.
00:18:04.820
They kind of had a moment of panic and they, he deserved it because I needed a break from him being a little brat.
00:18:11.000
But then of course what happened afterwards, he woke up in the morning.
00:18:13.780
The next day I came back to the bus and he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
00:18:18.660
And then it was, you know, like anything is my, is my brother.
00:18:21.960
But you fight, you brother, you fight, you fight.
00:18:39.680
Somebody said he sounds kind of like a little bit of like a generator, you know?
00:18:42.540
We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we.
00:18:45.120
Yeah, like a bad, like he has a bad fan belt or something, you know?
00:18:48.180
There's a, you know, like one thing skipping over.
00:18:50.340
It needs to be realigned, but he'll never get it done.
00:19:01.220
He's one, Bobby is one loose, he steps on one bad rock and he's fucking.
00:19:08.520
So I, I really do take good care of him, but it was a while.
00:19:11.600
We had a great time, but we're, we're going to go down to Australia at the end of the year
00:19:14.460
because we owe that to them because we canceled it.
00:19:17.220
And then after that, we're not going to tour for at least another whole year.
00:19:23.640
And you got to, I know you're doing your own too.
00:19:25.720
I'm doing my own tour in the fall to shoot my new special.
00:19:32.220
Hulu got a lot of, Hulu pulled a lot of people away from Netflix.
00:19:35.180
Well, I think a lot these days it's a Netflix was like the first one.
00:19:38.960
And now I think the, um, people are just seeing more.
00:19:42.660
I wonder what, can we see where people are watching?
00:19:45.560
Burr moved, uh, Sebastian, a bunch of people moved.
00:19:51.280
Well, they're doing one special a month, which is amazing.
00:19:55.560
I don't even know if half of them allowed to announce some of the people that are on there,
00:19:58.640
Well, Burr says right here, he's going to be on there.
00:20:00.620
He's, he was one of the first ones that they got.
00:20:19.220
He like had a couple of servings or whatever and then went and took a big nap.
00:20:24.920
You got to do what you're, what you're called to do.
00:20:29.280
Streaming services by subscribers in the world.
00:20:36.220
So next year is, that's why they're doing this special.
00:20:38.360
I think they're doing the specials in this regard because they wanted to go global finally
00:20:44.320
So I wonder if we can show America alone because this says, uh, globally, Netflix has 270
00:21:01.400
So I'm touring all fall to go gear up for that.
00:21:03.560
All fall, I'll be running around, which I'm excited to do.
00:21:14.420
And I love Lucy at Zaney's and I like it over...
00:21:20.640
Oh, if you like to have a little bit of whiskey and golf, Nashville really is your place,
00:21:26.060
It's like, man, I kind of don't have the two great elements that people love here the
00:21:35.440
I should probably spend a little more time doing it.
00:21:40.820
And I don't want to go out there again and waste people's time because people are a little
00:21:45.500
Well, see, I'm good at golf, but I don't give a shit how good people are that I play.
00:21:55.780
Yeah, I went to St. Andrews, the old course, man.
00:22:03.640
I went with Charlie Day, the actor, and a bunch of his friends.
00:22:16.080
Honestly, man, it was a dream come true for me.
00:22:21.460
You always want to play the courses the pros get to play.
00:22:27.580
And we played at five other courses, but traveling around Scotland...
00:22:30.740
I mean, honestly, such a beautiful, beautiful country, but truly the worst food I've ever
00:22:52.020
You have to get people with melanin to get good flavor and spices.
00:22:58.540
Well, I've always said too, like a lot of people are like, we need less crime in some of
00:23:02.740
I'm like, but you're going to have less good recipes.
00:23:14.840
If you want good food, dude, you're going to need bars on your windows.
00:23:24.100
People don't want the, people don't want the crime, but they want the food.
00:23:26.280
And that's the kind of shit that's just not fair.
00:23:32.160
We went over there for, uh, like eight, nine days or something like that.
00:23:37.880
But it's honestly, it's a bonding experience for friends.
00:23:41.420
Cause as we get older, we don't see each other as much.
00:23:43.860
We just don't like we have to run each other on the road or you have to set up a good dinner.
00:23:47.560
Like I was at dinner with Spady and Swartz and the other night and it's like, but you
00:23:54.940
It's so you have to cognizantly go, I'm going to do it.
00:23:59.300
So this was a way to like make no excuses, say I'm doing it.
00:24:03.400
Don't, don't throw in more work, you know, just go.
00:24:07.360
Good for you for making that and setting it out for yourself.
00:24:09.840
That's a hard thing to do too, you know, cause I know you're competitive like me and you
00:24:18.100
It's bad, but you're like, I want to keep doing shows.
00:24:20.360
I want to keep growing my career and you know, I want to keep building this thing cause it's
00:24:25.180
But if you don't take a step back to go do a thing for you, I don't know, man, you're
00:24:29.600
going to, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be, you're going to be gone.
00:24:37.680
That's when I know I'm getting too stressed out.
00:24:42.500
My back will just, I'll lose, my back will seize up.
00:24:45.400
I'll start having back problems when I get really stressed out.
00:24:48.320
One time I couldn't feel my foot for like a week.
00:24:50.940
The worst thing is say you are going to, you're in the bathroom, right?
00:24:55.500
And you're sitting down and you, you're pooping.
00:25:04.060
So you're doing a poop or whatever, doing a number two and your legs fall.
00:25:14.500
You know, you, when you get up off the toilet, then you look like a kill Tony guest.
00:25:18.080
You get, you start wobbling around your bathroom.
00:25:22.200
Oh dude, you can't even make it back to wherever you're going.
00:25:25.600
Like if anybody saw you then, just like what kind of shit did you take?
00:25:33.420
But you know what's so funny is I got told that you can't, I spend a lot of time in the
00:25:37.840
I read, I like to sit and read and they say you can't cause that's how you get there.
00:25:43.320
That's how people get really bad hemorrhoids from sitting too long.
00:25:46.380
But I'm not pushing harder and I'm not doing, I'm just sitting and chilling.
00:25:49.040
But they say, if you sit too long, that's how you incite hemorrhoids because of the,
00:25:53.640
So now I'm, now I don't get to sit and chill anymore, but that was my place.
00:25:58.620
Hemorrhoids are when the veins or blood vessels in and around your honest and lower rectum becomes
00:26:11.300
I bet this used to happen a lot in like, um, 1600s and shit.
00:26:22.900
You know, like if you've been camping, I had to camp, I had to poop against a rock.
00:26:31.000
Although maybe in like the, uh, you're talking like a Victorian era, right?
00:26:36.220
When they, like, when they, when, whenever toilets were first, like a nice sitting toilet
00:26:44.440
Oh, once some bro, once somebody rolled in with a toilet dude, which is basically like
00:26:57.800
Well, you know, Kings and Queens, you know, Kings were eating on that.
00:27:00.300
You know, they wanted me once they saw how comfortable it was, you know, they were like,
00:27:06.800
I can just sit here and it can be one fluid thing.
00:27:24.620
And look, if you go back up to that group shit shot, you can see their legs have to over
00:27:35.500
What if you're just like, whoa, nice one, Rick, you know, or somebody, you guys are in there.
00:27:40.460
Guys, if you can't see this, if you're listening, but there's literally,
00:27:42.940
it's a bath, it's like a shelf, like a shelf with holes in it.
00:27:46.800
It's a shelf with holes in it, but there's no like little walls or anything in between.
00:27:49.920
It's just, just sit and cross, just leg over leg.
00:27:52.740
It's almost like you'd be in a sauna, but if somebody cut holes in there and then people
00:27:59.900
It kind of looks, it looks more Greek than Roman, to be honest with you.
00:28:03.500
It looks like Greeks do, Greeks are, Greeks were into all sorts of fun stuff like that.
00:28:08.080
They were more like perverted and stuff like that.
00:28:14.760
The Romans treated going to the toilet as a social event.
00:28:17.600
They met friends, exchanged views, caught up on the news and wiped themselves with a
00:28:22.180
piece of sponge fixed to a short wooden handle.
00:28:27.920
You don't want to be the caboose on that sponge.
00:28:38.940
In medieval England, people used potties and would simply throw their contents through
00:28:48.840
The more affluent would use a garter robe or protruding room with an opening for ways
00:28:57.860
It was like it had a way to get out to the moat.
00:29:00.320
But that was also and then that's then that's another way to keep people away from your
00:29:04.580
Because they got a shit river floating around it.
00:29:22.640
Francis Louis the 11th hid his commode behind curtains while Elizabeth the first covered
00:29:29.120
hers in crimson velvet and lace using sprigs of herbs to disguise the odors.
00:29:35.780
They showered like once a month or something if you're lucky.
00:29:41.280
So I don't know which one it was, but one of the one of the queens, which queen notoriously
00:29:47.300
There was one that like refused to shower and she loved it.
00:29:51.120
She thought it was like she's from Slidell or not.
00:29:55.460
The curious comes about Elizabeth the first bathing habits.
00:30:17.820
Like, yeah, you want them to be you want them to be just a little you want them to be
00:30:36.280
USA just, uh, battled their first game against Australia in basketball.
00:30:44.040
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00:30:51.780
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00:30:55.040
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And John Mayer, who's a sweetheart, was like, whatever you guys want.
00:34:00.480
And I was like, I don't think we can make it, dude.
00:34:03.580
And then in the morning, we woke up and I was like, all right, we'll go.
00:34:15.980
It is one of the greatest visual and audio shows I've seen in my lifetime.
00:34:23.860
The Sphere is, I mean, it's worth every single dime they overspent on it.
00:34:29.440
I think they're hemorrhaging money, that place.
00:34:32.600
I know that to build the crane alone that they used to build the Sphere, and check me on this, but there was like, it took 100 trucks just to bring the stuff the crane is made out of.
00:34:49.800
It was like the fourth biggest crane in the world.
00:34:56.940
It took that many trucks just to bring the pieces of the crane, and then it took a couple of weeks to put the crane together.
00:35:15.180
At a certain point, you're like, oh, we need a crane to build this crane.
00:35:40.920
People are always like, who moved these stones?
00:35:48.000
Dude, I love how every white person I meet is like, oh, the pyramids, aliens.
00:35:52.500
Every Egyptian person I meet is just like, oh, these are some fucking.
00:36:04.740
I say he loves ancient aliens, which is crazy because he hates illegal aliens.
00:36:20.820
I think it's because like a lot of whites are so comfortable.
00:36:28.260
So it's like you start to worry about other shit.
00:36:35.680
Like, you know, is there anybody else out there?
00:36:38.400
Like, it's definitely, those are creature comforts.
00:36:41.380
When you get too comfortable, you start to worry about things that you have no familiarity with.
00:36:46.980
That you're just going to make, you kind of make it up.
00:36:49.540
Because it feels like it gives you something to do.
00:36:51.980
If you don't, if you don't work, let's say you, you're raising, you know, you're raising a family.
00:37:27.820
I don't, I think you got to believe in something.
00:37:33.180
I mean, I think we, the crazy thing is what an anomaly humans are, right?
00:37:45.600
Like, if you look in the forest or whatever, they're no, they all know each other.
00:37:55.700
Sometimes they have that video where, like, that little duck is on that badger's back or whatever.
00:38:07.420
Like, if you were in the woods and you saw a bear, right, like, come out of his hole or whatever, take a couple of pills, cry, jerk off.
00:38:37.380
To the rest of nature, it seems like we're the outlier.
00:38:45.680
And then they have to get out of their own house.
00:38:50.940
And then when they're done enjoying your house, then you get to come back.
00:39:02.540
And you have to disappear because they're 10 times your size.
00:39:07.180
That's another thing about us being so comfortable because there's nothing trying to kill us all the time except corporations.
00:39:18.540
We're the only species that works really hard on killing ourselves.
00:39:22.000
With everything we consume, food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs.
00:40:11.880
I probably know like six or seven other songs probably, right?
00:40:18.360
My brother is a huge Grateful Dead fan, but he didn't want to maybe see Dead and Co.
00:40:24.360
because he didn't want to spoil like, you know, he's like a Jerry, you know, he's like.
00:40:35.200
So we met over there and I wanted to go and we wanted to do something together.
00:40:38.660
And, yeah, I think I love that they have so much art.
00:40:43.620
There's so many little things you know about the Grateful Dead that since they have a lot
00:40:48.940
of cool and unique art and stuff, they're able to make a lot of neat stuff to put into
00:40:54.500
Whereas if you were a band, if you're like, you know, GWAR maybe or something or Sinead O'Connor.
00:41:05.760
Sinead O'Connor, Joe, just see why somebody you're not, I don't know if you're going to
00:41:11.780
be able to fill that space with enough intrigue, you know, and history and history.
00:41:18.000
It almost, you almost need something that's a bit historical maybe, or something that's
00:41:22.400
extremely artistic, like a group that has a lot of ambiance that comes with it.
00:41:27.640
You can't do a solo artist would be a little hard there unless they have such a rich story
00:41:33.960
Like a Michael Buble or something, you know, I don't know, but if it were just Christmas
00:41:37.140
and they were able to make really cool Christmas shit in there, then that's a way to do it.
00:41:54.580
But what else did I think, I thought it was amazing how like, well, there's like these
00:41:59.700
things in the seats called like haptics or whatever, and so sometimes your seat will
00:42:03.920
So some of the seats, I think like 10,000 of the seats.
00:42:08.660
And they, you know, so they'll have like a reaction or, so that's kind of crazy.
00:42:13.100
I thought it was interesting how sometimes, um, well, you get there right in the beginning
00:42:18.880
and it just looks like a, a futuristic, like kind of cage or something you're in.
00:42:36.820
You went into like a space world or something and then it all kind of starts to happen and
00:42:51.880
Cause that wasn't, uh, that what's wild about it is they give it so much dimension, you know,
00:42:58.080
through, through, uh, through tricks of the, of the LEDs.
00:43:02.440
And it really is kind of mind boggling gets people.
00:43:06.660
Like some people get, they have to take them out of there cause they get so dizzy from the,
00:43:12.560
It physically like it moves so heavily that I think people get disoriented.
00:43:18.520
Oh, there's times where like the way that they do, you're like, you feel like the whole
00:43:25.400
Like you're the entire venue feels like you're moving with it.
00:43:29.520
I think they said people with like, uh, kind of like, like same thing with strobes, like
00:43:34.420
people that have heart problems or high blood pressure or something, epileptics, or if
00:43:38.340
you're French Canadian, you're not supposed to go there because it's dangerous for those
00:43:43.300
And that's, it's just a historical, unfortunate truth.
00:43:52.740
I enjoyed it so much and it was long and like, you really kind of get a story and I loved it.
00:43:58.180
Um, and I thought what was really cool too, at the grid, at the dead show was like, if
00:44:01.680
you went down to the street, if you went down to just the stage where the stage is, and if
00:44:08.680
there was nothing on the back and nothing on the screen, the stage only had a few lights
00:44:14.520
It literally looked like you were at a backyard concert.
00:44:17.280
It's, it's like, it's so minimalistic and then so grand at the exact same time.
00:44:22.080
I mean, the stage, it, it had like five lights behind the guys or six, like, I mean, small,
00:44:35.640
And then it had a very, uh, and so if the screen was off, it literally looked like you
00:44:42.780
Like a, somebody's, like a band was playing in somebody's backyard.
00:44:48.340
I heard somebody refer to themselves as a sphere head after the, like, I'll never see
00:44:55.620
Yeah, definitely limiting, but it was interesting.
00:44:57.360
I'd never heard, it was like, I'd never thought like I'll only see a show at a certain venue.
00:45:05.520
Because you're only going to get what you're going to get.
00:45:07.300
But I mean, you know, that's kind of life, isn't it?
00:45:10.700
So if you become a sphere head, you might as well soak it up.
00:45:46.900
They go to Costco and they just eat stuff and they review it.
00:45:51.360
Uh, you know, the Statue of Liberty can fit inside of the sphere.
00:45:57.000
It's right when you walk in, it does feel, the whole thing feels like a presentation kind
00:46:01.960
Like even the, the, the, the original interior is so neat.
00:46:04.640
You're like, you don't just walk right into the, like venue kind of, you know, you walk
00:46:08.640
into like, like a normal venue would be like this other, you know, like the hallways and
00:46:28.780
They got, she, they got into a big fight, I guess.
00:46:43.480
I think I was, I, when I went and visited her, she was in her hoe phase.
00:46:55.820
To being too much for France, by the way, because they're, they're all whores.
00:47:02.380
Paris got ranked the sluttiest city in the world.
00:47:11.560
But being from the South, being from where you're from, people do speak.
00:47:21.500
See, that's not, that's, you're halfway there, baby.
00:47:30.640
It's not bad, but it's like, this guy just keeps saying let the good times roll.
00:47:44.700
Um, but even seeing the sphere from your hotel room, I can't even explain how it feels like
00:48:16.040
Because I know the word foreign people are really taken to heart these days.
00:48:26.200
But Paris has also been referred to as a queer city.
00:48:34.160
California has the highest reported rates of, uh, Gennar.
00:48:41.980
Uh, and other piece of data likewise provides that young individuals that come from more than
00:48:47.360
five out of every 10 chlamydia infections and more than 87% of those are
00:48:58.660
I really would not think London would be high on the...
00:49:02.520
Yeah, I think British women are more casual about sex.
00:49:10.280
But I guess that means that if LA's number two, we're kind of like a European city.
00:49:17.560
I imagine Germany, oh, sex work, homosexual sex have always can, uh, had
00:49:21.680
coexisting the idea of commercialization in Berlin.
00:49:24.880
The problem with that is, you know, in Berlin, you got to kind of be a part of their, what
00:49:35.360
And I don't know if you know anything about that stuff, but in Germany, it's a little too
00:49:47.100
In New York though, it's just like, if you like, you got to bring all your stuff with
00:49:52.140
you in the morning, even if you're planning on having sex at any point over, you know,
00:50:02.400
You got to have a change of underwear and socks.
00:50:04.260
You got to bring all that shit in here to a fucking restaurant.
00:50:07.740
Some girl's got a camel back on because she has to fucking walk back to Brooklyn.
00:50:12.060
It's just, there's no other crazy city to try to have some, to meet up with somebody
00:50:19.360
Fucking in New York is, yeah, that's got to be a cumbersome adventure.
00:50:23.980
I think that's why people get into relationships here because they're just like, oh, fuck,
00:50:38.920
That's if the government's listening, just in case.
00:50:42.780
I was, I was, I was at the, oh, I was at the house.
00:50:49.120
I was at the house and you know what's so funny?
00:50:53.240
My, my, my instinct was like, I'm not even kidding.
00:50:59.420
I thought this is a, someone's pulling a prank on people.
00:51:02.440
I was like, someone is a, doing a very intricate coordinated prank.
00:51:08.820
But then I kept, you know, then obviously it got exposed and it was real.
00:51:13.120
That's how fucked the world is that I thought maybe that was fake or that it was, this was
00:51:25.260
I have no idea what's going on in Pennsylvania.
00:51:28.720
Like if you don't know and you weren't there, if you really step back for a second, you're
00:51:52.960
It's, that's the wildest thing I think I've ever seen is a guy gets shot and then champions,
00:52:00.400
like a, like a, like a guy who tore his ACL on the field and is doing the, yeah, yeah.
00:52:08.780
The craziest thing is I've seen the, a guy on the right at the UFC fights like seven times.
00:52:14.880
I was going to say he's his, like, he's his number one guy, that guy.
00:52:18.780
It's like so many things were crazy about this.
00:52:29.440
I went to watch Diplo was playing at, um, like a day party somewhere.
00:52:53.980
I mean, and nobody had said anything and he's like, yeah, man, they shot him.
00:53:00.140
He goes, and my fucking dad just walked like, like the door was closed, walking out to the
00:53:15.180
Look, you got to care about the man closest in your life for sure.
00:53:21.160
And I was like, those aren't exactly the same, but, um, you know, I'd love to meet your,
00:53:29.580
And then he just got up there and started getting the party.
00:53:36.780
And then, oh, he showed me the video on his phone.
00:53:42.260
And the video started and he wouldn't forward the video.
00:53:48.180
I'm like, is Diplo really giving me, me this much time to stand here?
00:53:53.560
I'm like, I'll move the cursor, but it's his phone.
00:53:55.980
You're not allowed to move the cursor on somebody else's phone.
00:53:58.480
That's so flagrant to touch someone else's phone.
00:54:14.020
But then you see a picture of the kid and you're like, what?
00:54:19.120
Well, one of the wildest things is, um, that people are saying there's no way.
00:54:33.680
The diagram of like who, where he shot him from.
00:54:43.560
And this is like, Trump was speaking like off this way.
00:54:57.960
What were the snipers doing while they, they couldn't see the gunman?
00:55:01.600
It looks like the only build, the only roof that was close to them was that one.
00:55:07.140
And people were saying, you've seen the videos where people were like, Hey, there's a guy right
00:55:25.280
It's like the Guy Fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair.
00:55:32.260
He's, his face is going, well, he was, he was up there.
00:55:43.960
We could play it, but that's exactly what it is, I think.
00:55:56.120
And probably five to seven minutes of Trump speaking.
00:56:03.880
And we noticed the guy crawling, you know, bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us, 50 feet away from us.
00:56:13.900
So we're standing there, you know, we're pointing, we're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof.
00:56:25.420
The police are down there running around on the ground.
00:56:28.140
We're like, hey, man, there's a guy on the roof with a rifle.
00:56:33.320
You know, like, like they didn't know what was going on.
00:56:35.720
You know, we're like, hey, right here on the roof.
00:56:48.520
I'm standing there pointing at him for, you know, two, three minutes.
00:57:09.260
And instead you pop open another fucking bush light, dude.
00:57:13.700
Both of these gentlemen don't, are just interesting creatures.
00:57:22.060
They got this dude off of Teemu, this announcer.
00:57:55.420
Half a mile is a long way to walk with a big-ass rifle.
00:58:02.720
The weird thing is you almost expect everybody there to be walking with a rifle.
00:58:14.620
Like if it's at a Biden rally, somebody says something with a rifle, you'd be like, oh, what the fuck's going on?
00:58:18.540
But I feel like in a Trump, it's more like a, you know.
00:59:10.860
In fact, if they could ever put up a chart, I don't know.
00:59:13.000
Okay, that's, I can't even tell what's going on now.
00:59:20.280
So yeah, you start to wonder, was this put together?
00:59:23.620
But how do you convince a 20-year-old to just go do something like that, you know?
00:59:28.160
Pack of cigarettes and, you know, I don't know, some gas money.
00:59:32.720
Or you could convince me of almost anything at 20.
00:59:39.420
20s are a time when I, could I be convinced to get on a roof and...
00:59:54.580
Sorry, I was saying it came out that Thomas Crooks was featured in a BlackRock commercial.
00:59:59.040
He was in BlackRock in an advertisement for BlackRock.
01:00:25.980
But now will Trump be able to speak publicly somewhere again?
01:00:28.740
Like, how are they even going to manage this moving forward?
01:00:30.640
They're going to have to do what they do with the Pope.
01:00:56.000
Someone in LA would be cruising around in that.
01:00:57.380
Well, remember that chick that banged the clippers on her?
01:01:31.560
We're in the middle of like the craziest play we've ever lived.
01:01:51.480
And now we're seeing that the rest of the play is about to play out.
01:02:03.220
You see that lady tried to holster her gun a few times?
01:02:19.740
Well, the crazy thing is they don't even bring him down to the ground when they're at the podium.
01:02:33.280
If they're nice and new customs, you do want to get those back on.
01:02:42.620
Get him in the car and then they slam on the door.
01:02:53.940
Like, your job at Secret Service, there's so many.
01:03:01.040
The Secret Service doesn't have, like, a thing that they can permanently put around their eyes.
01:03:09.460
The pair I brought in here today, I'm going to lose it.
01:03:16.160
I just, you start to wonder, what is it, a conspiracy?
01:03:20.640
Because now there's no, like, the guy's been a martyr after the justice system went after him, right?
01:03:26.320
Like, I've always thought that Trump is a shady businessman, right?
01:03:33.780
The most interesting thing I've seen him do was when he's turned like that and said fight.
01:03:39.940
It showed, like, that he, because there's a lot of people who think, oh, he just wants, they're going to want, you know, to turn back around.
01:03:50.660
I mean, you don't know what the fuck's going on.
01:04:02.100
And those other guys, well, the other Secret Service are like, please get down because their heads are targets.
01:04:10.560
The guy with that hat, that goofy fedora in the background?
01:04:35.080
If he never got molested and learned to dance, dude.
01:05:04.180
But wouldn't you, if somebody starts shooting at somebody.
01:05:07.800
I'm crawling on the ground and I'm out of there.
01:05:16.280
Do you think a marksman could have been accurate enough just to graze him on purpose?
01:05:27.680
They could shoot an earring off somebody's ear.
01:05:36.420
He didn't even sit down when the first shots rang out.
01:05:40.020
Now, I do know it says on the internet he has bad knees, but he just stood up.
01:05:55.200
Yeah, because then the wheels get spinning more.
01:06:00.180
You don't think Biden has anything to do with it?
01:06:03.200
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if like the FBI or the Department of Justice or one of them,
01:06:09.440
I wouldn't be surprised if somebody's compromised at Secret Service.
01:06:11.980
But I don't know how you convince a large group of people.
01:06:15.660
You know, like you have to convince the local police as well.
01:06:20.920
I don't think I could name five police officers in Pennsylvania that would probably not stand
01:06:26.220
Like a lot of those guys are, you know, military and police.
01:06:37.680
But yeah, how does a 20 year old kid use a ladder?
01:06:42.040
It just is like there's nobody standing in any of these areas.
01:06:54.140
I mean, this is going to make for it just un fucking believable ladder.
01:07:07.940
Dude, that building looks like it's about 12 feet.
01:07:19.120
Secret Service did not secure the nearest tall building.
01:07:22.320
A ladder had been placed in advance of the shooting on the building.
01:07:25.100
Attendees alerted law enforcement to the presence of the shooter.
01:07:31.180
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01:07:39.100
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01:07:43.700
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01:09:06.540
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01:10:38.160
If I'm not doing stand-up and work, it's the thing that, like, escapes.
01:10:48.900
It's honestly just, it's just a way to hang out with friends and goof and feel like a kid.
01:11:05.220
You could knock on your friend's door, hey, is William home?
01:11:17.220
And we don't do, and you get older and then you stop doing that.
01:11:37.040
Bill Burr's always like, you're going to get cancer?
01:11:47.300
I just put on as much as I sunscreen and I'll, you know, whatever.
01:12:01.520
I just saw, he came to the comedy store with him and MGK and they were, then they went
01:12:10.120
For people that don't know, Saddle Ranch is a mechanical bull in the center of the bar.
01:12:25.200
He set the record for longest bull ride at Saddle Ranch on Sunset.
01:12:30.420
And it didn't even look hard, to be honest with you.
01:12:45.340
MGK, I'm seeing a photograph with a young fan at Ronnie Racky and Jelly Roll's performance
01:12:54.400
Unless, you know, he probably requested no videos during that time.
01:12:58.500
Maybe it was like a special thing and people weren't allowed to video then.
01:13:02.960
That's a little young for a Jelly Roll and MGK show, but.
01:13:08.040
That is your future ticket, you know, ticket buyer.
01:13:23.700
I'm not going to say it out loud now that I think about it.
01:13:25.980
But I'm going to a spot that I've never been to before in Hawaii.
01:13:29.480
And we just want to have like a little getaway.
01:13:35.940
Yeah, I don't go to exotic locations just to like go to the beach.
01:13:49.660
We're going to rent a Jeep and go like tour the island in these little spots they tell you
01:14:23.480
He had a bottle of soy sauce on him or something.
01:14:37.100
I would love to sneak up on an animal and kill it right there and eat it.
01:14:47.040
And one girl showed up and ate all the fucking squirrel.
01:15:00.860
I mean, you got to catch a bunch of them to make anything good.
01:15:04.320
My brother's kind of, you know, he's a wildcat.
01:15:07.280
He moved into like this rural area and put on Facebook.
01:15:09.140
Anybody having trouble with squirrels hit my line, right?
01:15:13.120
And so, yeah, the amount of meat on a squirrel can variable.
01:15:23.420
You got to have enough substantial meat for me to kill you.
01:15:25.320
I can't kill you if you don't have enough meat.
01:15:31.540
I'd rather kill something that has a lot of something to eat.
01:15:55.840
And then I'm going to come back and I'm going to go to Chicago to see family.
01:16:00.440
I'm going to do a couple of charity events, which I'm trying to get into more.
01:16:06.500
I think I want to do more and more and more for, like, all the stuff that I really like
01:16:12.420
is, like, involving children's charities for kids with cancer or debilitating injuries
01:16:21.420
Like, I want to support adults that are sick, but kids that are sick, to me, gets my heart
01:16:26.600
If adults are sick, it's kind of their fault a lot of times.
01:16:35.000
I think, yeah, catching up with kids is really important.
01:16:37.840
And it's like, we've been so fortunate just to even have some of, like, to be able to have
01:16:41.260
some of the fun and opportunities and neat things.
01:16:44.460
It's like, I got to create more of a way to do something more positive, you know?
01:16:47.840
For young people, because it's, they, you know, if you can help the next generation
01:16:51.920
of whatever it is, that's like what you do in comedy, bringing people out and introducing
01:16:56.020
new comics to the world, that's an important thing.
01:16:58.460
So, in the other side of it, I want to try to, you know, like St. Jude's and all that
01:17:01.960
stuff, Children's Hospital, and, like, I think those are important.
01:17:04.680
So, I'm going to do that, and then, then I'm going, I get to throw out the first pitch
01:17:20.200
And I sent the email from the Cubs, the Cubs reached out, and I sent the email to my dad,
01:17:28.840
Of all the things I've achieved, this is the only thing, he was like, good, you finally
01:17:47.280
My grandfather played, like, triple-A ball in Chicago or Iowa, whenever their farm team
01:17:53.540
He played for one of their farm teams a long time ago.
01:17:55.420
And so we would sit all the time and watch the Cubs, you know, because the WGNO, you
01:18:05.280
When I was a kid, I thought his name was Ryan, by the way.
01:18:08.880
Yeah, all these years, I thought when I was a child, I thought his name was Ryan Sandberg.
01:18:23.440
Dude, I traded 70 of his cards as Ryan Sandberg.
01:18:42.160
He was sitting in a bar and my buddy told me he was there, so I went up and pulled up
01:18:48.000
Those guys are just, that baseball was just a, you know, a different game, man.
01:18:52.360
I mean, every sport is, but something about baseball, because they used to, you know, Harry
01:18:56.140
Carey, our notorious announcer that Will Ferrell did that people know, you know, he was
01:19:04.000
And still held it together enough to get to the, you know, get to the stadium on time,
01:19:54.020
So yeah, I get to go throw the first pitch in September.
01:19:59.960
Are you, are you going to, do you ever go to Titans games in Tennessee?
01:20:04.020
What I like about Titans is it's very casual there.
01:20:21.600
She wasn't in the right field bleacher yesterday, Arnie.
01:20:38.940
That began to look like a striptease for a while.
01:20:43.560
They used to wear, people would wear like G-string bikinis into the, in the outfield.
01:20:52.260
Well, that when they talk about make America great again, that's what we're talking about.
01:20:56.200
G-strings in the, in the, in the, in the outfield.
01:21:04.360
Everything now has a rule or it's fucked up or something, dude.
01:21:16.840
But I don't know if that's because we ruined, just humans ruined it.
01:21:24.300
We, instead of letting things be and just in trying to enjoy things, we fucked it up.
01:21:29.900
We just want, we're greedy, we're selfish, we're self-involved.
01:21:35.740
Because if we really cared about each other, we wouldn't, we wouldn't go out of our way
01:21:48.860
Well, and if some people, if once there's some bad apples, other apples start to be like,
01:21:57.800
Or you have to also get bad now to be able to take care of yourself, you know?
01:22:02.400
It's like you got to bring yourself to a different level.
01:22:11.740
I think the older we get in life and career, the more I start to really see through the
01:22:18.040
smoke of all the bullshit and start to care about what I really care about.
01:22:23.560
Like things that, I guess you really learn what really matters.
01:22:26.980
It's stuff that your parents would say or older people would say to you, and all those
01:22:32.000
It really is true that you just, you slow down, you step back, you start to kind of see things
01:22:36.760
for what they really are, and you start to just cherish things that matter.
01:22:40.920
You don't give a shit about the other stuff anymore.
01:22:43.180
I don't care about small stuff as much as I used to.
01:22:47.800
But yeah, I think some of that, it is wild if you're able to get some age, that you're
01:22:57.000
But that was, what is that, Bobby Lee with Richard Simmons?
01:23:00.880
And some on the internet are saying this is Bobby's fault.
01:23:07.140
Well, he was a Japanese girl at one point, and then he...
01:23:28.640
I bet Richard teased him or just touched his neck.
01:23:36.040
Bobby, well, he said he let some guy eat his butt or whatever one time.
01:23:47.000
I think I would not want some guy to do that to me.
01:23:52.240
Look, it's hard to be a business partner and one of my best friends with someone that I
01:24:08.040
I've never met somebody more that I feel the most in tune with comedically.
01:24:16.120
It just feels like our brains connect on just a dumb, perfect level.
01:24:35.900
It's the best thing that's ever happened in my career.
01:24:37.920
Of all the shit I've done, of all the things that I could be like, that was cool.
01:24:42.980
This is by far the most fun I've ever had in my life.
01:24:49.160
And thank God me and that little dumpling are together.
01:24:55.480
I've never had that much fun in anything in my career.
01:25:08.840
I mean, you guys have created a top 20 podcast together.
01:25:25.140
Yeah, like, now that you've had a good taste of both, does one really compare?
01:25:31.820
But I mean, they're both rewarding and they're...
01:25:33.520
I mean, like, the acting is rewarding in its own little way.
01:25:36.340
I like the acting stuff if I get to work with people that I'm impressed by.
01:25:40.600
To me, it's like, if I do something with someone that I'm intrigued by or impressed,
01:25:45.940
impressed by their skills and ability, it's cool to see people do cool work.
01:25:54.640
Like, you know who the most pro dude on earth...
01:25:56.260
I think John Cena might be the most pro dude on earth.
01:26:12.400
I don't even know how to, like, articulate it the right way, but incredible, gracious,
01:26:33.080
I think what we have to remember sometimes is we're comics, so something is fucked up
01:26:42.040
When you see, like, the sale basket or whatever, or the, like, 40-cent candles or whatever,
01:26:46.380
and you're like, this bitch ain't gonna burn, you know?
01:26:50.700
So a lot of times I feel like I'll compare myself to other...
01:27:07.260
We're the shopping cart with the wobbly wheel, the one that nobody wants.
01:27:14.820
When you do take it, you do realize it's kind of fun.
01:27:24.160
Oh, it'll veer right into a fucking cute mom's butt, dude.
01:27:33.200
And we feel that sometimes we feel threatened because people don't get us or we're weird
01:27:40.220
You know, you try a joker a bit and it doesn't work and people are like, what?
01:27:49.140
If you didn't have that, everything would be real formatted and real simple.
01:27:53.360
Those other people from the other side of it, they love to see us try because they don't
01:27:59.240
Like, I've had a bunch of people, actors say to me, I said, oh man, I don't know how
01:28:09.540
If you get something out that's worth it and good, it's like, it's just telling a new
01:28:14.680
You know when you write a new joke and it works?
01:28:20.060
It's the same thing as when you land a good line.
01:28:36.040
I can let you get, like, you know, I don't want you to upset the fucking neighbors, you
01:28:57.720
At this age in my life, I think is now, you know, 40.
01:29:02.180
Once the 40 number is real, I think I'd be willing to adopt and try to give someone
01:29:10.640
Yeah, I think because at this age, it'd be hard to start with a baby as older as because
01:29:26.180
Yeah, but I'd rather adopt a kid, put him into a phenomenal situation.
01:29:29.780
I feel like at this stage in my life, it would be cool to give someone a better life
01:29:34.760
who had a tough life because a lot of kids have these, you know, man, you see a lot of
01:29:39.960
this stuff and you see how hard certain young people have it and there's, you know, there's
01:29:50.660
So it's like, why not give someone else a good opportunity?
01:29:54.080
Yeah, it'd be cool if they had a contest too to be your kid.
01:29:59.980
I'd want to see their skills and abilities and talents.
01:30:02.360
I have a set system at home that I've written out.
01:30:05.380
You know, I basically put them through a combine.
01:30:09.640
That great joke about people coming over the border that they should have to go through
01:30:19.940
I just, I want to see them work for it a little bit.
01:30:23.400
Yeah, we can't just have anybody, but that should be the standard.
01:30:29.360
And then also, you can have rich people bet on it, like in the distance.
01:30:34.680
Well, look, when Europeans came over for Ellis Island, you had to be able to do 10 push-ups,
01:30:42.680
10 push-ups, so you had to get back on the boat and go back.
01:30:47.440
Oh, yeah, now you can show up with asthma and we'll fucking-
01:30:52.260
Yeah, we'll give you a fucking free wheelchair.
01:30:57.620
And the new tour, what's it going to be called?
01:31:11.320
One of my, one of my, was, oh, Rise Up Lights, you know?
01:31:26.540
Because I shot that movie with Sina and them in Melbourne and it was just-
01:31:34.160
Yeah, yeah, it's on Amazon Prime, Ricky Stenicki on Amazon Prime.
01:31:40.560
Yeah, me and Sina and Efron and Jermaine Fowler and then-
01:31:51.320
Pete Farrelly, the guy that did Dumb and Dumber with his brother.
01:31:53.160
Um, and William H. Macy in the background holding it down.
01:31:58.820
You ever seen the door-to-door salesman movie where he's selling soaps?
01:32:19.820
And he, uh, he lives out, he lives out in the mountains.
01:32:30.500
And he's, and he's a, and he's a soap salesman.
01:32:37.720
Yeah, he was mentally challenged or whatever, and they let him sell a little bit of soap.
01:32:42.880
This dude sold Italian food or semi-Italian or whatever, door-to-door.
01:32:47.520
And so, I think he was trying to date my mom or something.
01:32:50.320
So, he gave me a job, like, just, like, cruising, going along with him and stuff, dude.
01:32:55.840
Except I remember all, he had to take, like, a cold cart with him, and all the stuff was so cold.
01:33:03.020
So, I remember I'd fucking, he'd, like, he'd be like, oh, get the clams or whatever, and I was like, oh, I'd fuck it up, you know?
01:33:09.160
Like, I fucking, I was like, I don't want to be in the workforce.
01:33:14.000
You just want some, but you want someone to date your mom who's not, who's not cumbersome in their, in their job.
01:33:23.940
The guy you want to date your mom, you want a guy in, like, you know, not, regular sales, not door-to-door sales.
01:33:39.800
My mom remarried, and my stepdad is, was a, you know, sales guy, but he, you know.
01:33:47.140
You know, go to an office, say, hey, Karen, coffee, water cooler, lunch, lunch at, you know, lunch at, uh, Bucca de Beppo.
01:33:57.600
Bucca de Beppo, yeah, Bucca de Beppo, yeah, get the whole crew out there.
01:34:01.360
You know, my dad likes, we buy my dad, um, his only gift every year, birthday, Christmas, same gift every time.
01:34:14.140
He goes and he sits there and he has the Zupa Toscana and the breadsticks.
01:34:18.580
And he'll eat and eat and eat and eat until they tell him, sir, you know, let's not overstay our welcome.
01:34:36.560
If you've ever shut down an Olive Garden, you've got a fucking problem.
01:34:41.220
Dude, my, uh, my dad used to, he would take, he would go drink sometimes at this place called Tony Pedoni's.
01:34:54.060
And so we go over there and, uh, and the lady, he'd be like, oh, run up and down the bar real quick.
01:34:59.720
And the lady will give you a candy right there.
01:35:05.580
I'd fucking, but on the bar, yeah, I'd fucking sprint down there and sprint right back.
01:35:10.320
Yeah, well, I was going to say, which one was it?
01:35:16.540
They're just a, there's not, they're, look, you know what Hershey Kiss?
01:35:28.360
Not filling my fucking butt with caramel like somebody's fucking quiz.
01:35:40.680
Dude, I wanted to do this thing called the chocolate shoulder challenge.
01:36:04.500
But every now and then somebody will do it like a-
01:36:07.040
Well, it's got to be somebody with a nice long neck.
01:36:27.140
One of the funniest comedians, I think, working.
01:36:31.040
Also, one of the funniest just people to be around.
01:36:38.980
Yeah, do the picture to the left of that or to the right of that one that you have on right now.
01:36:47.820
But if he dies, yeah, people are going to order.
01:36:52.060
They're going to get three and a half ounces out of his neck.
01:36:55.580
Well, you know, his casket is already designed.
01:37:00.080
You know those, you know, like a magician when he cuts those saws in a woman in half
01:37:03.360
and her head is outside of the casket, but the whole body's inside?
01:37:08.480
Yeah, because his neck is long enough that they couldn't-
01:37:10.700
They said he'd have to break his neck to smush it in there so his head'll be out.
01:37:15.700
When they bury you, some people, they have to break.
01:37:17.440
They're like, to save money, they're like, we can break your arms and legs
01:37:21.380
and move them closer to your body so you have a little less square footage.
01:37:24.700
And I'm like, just fucking throw me in a dump truck.
01:37:31.560
I don't want some guy in a basement of a YMCA at night
01:37:34.880
breaking my fucking bones to save 85 bucks, dude.
01:37:55.200
Where were they going without ever knowing the way?
01:38:00.300
Anyone can see the road that they walk on is picking-
01:38:03.660
Okay, so I learned online, that song is about a story that the lead singer read about a couple, right?
01:38:11.820
It's about an old couple who used to vacation somewhere, and she had dementia, and he was old.
01:38:28.480
Austin-based couple, fastball, top the charts with their hits on the way.
01:38:39.540
I think it was like Zion or something like that, or the Archers.
01:38:43.740
And the dementia, you know, they wandered until they were found dead in like a ravine.
01:38:52.060
So that song, as beautiful as it was when we were young, I mean, young people don't know that song at all, but it's about this old couple getting lost.
01:39:02.860
Yeah, it says, for Layla and Raymond Howard, the tradition was Pioneer Day.
01:39:09.040
And they would drive there, and they would just go.
01:39:12.540
And they, right, showing symptoms of memory loss, and he had had brain surgery.
01:39:18.160
And they just got out of their car, and they started walking, and they just disappeared.
01:39:24.580
Where were they going without ever knowing the way.
01:39:30.100
As a kid, I sung that song being like, anyone can see the road.
01:39:34.720
And here I am, just two senior citizens, just dehydrated, dying behind a fucking rock.
01:39:42.240
The song's lyrics, this is way better, thank you.
01:39:44.380
The song's lyrics revolve around a couple who decided to leave their lives behind by going out driving without telling their children about their plans.
01:39:51.020
Their car breaks down during the trip, and they continue on foot.
01:39:53.420
The chorus expresses the idea that the couple are achieving happiness by losing touch with the world, even though they may never see their home again.
01:40:13.760
Oh, dude, when I was in, we tried to like fake my death or something a while back, maybe like 11 years ago or something.
01:40:35.160
Oh, my buddy Paul, he's like, dude, we should fake your own death.
01:40:43.120
And he's like, you just be quiet and just go out to Palm Springs or something for a couple months or go to Syracuse or something.
01:40:52.620
And I think I did like three days or something.
01:40:57.180
And so he'd like called a couple people and been like, oh, I think something's happened to Theo or something.
01:41:01.640
So then he just called him back and I was like, oh, no, no, no.
01:41:08.120
But if I feel like if I was going to disappear, I would go...
01:41:18.040
It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my entire...
01:41:22.500
This might be the prettiest place I've ever seen.
01:41:25.520
Banff was the first time I saw a real Canadian moose.
01:41:59.060
The most beautiful place I've been to, I think, is...
01:42:01.320
Or one place I really liked was this place, Lake...
01:42:26.480
Just, like, a nice little place there in the hills.
01:42:32.140
We just were taking a train and just stopped there.
01:42:52.380
Like, when a German is saying to you something, it's...
01:43:07.720
Somebody had stole the sign and put it up outside of their business, right?
01:43:56.580
It was easy to kind of play into this world that she does.
01:44:07.320
Then she would just do, like, high-level celebrities,
01:44:10.740
And I had so much fun with her because she had said...
01:44:28.480
You want to meet and I can teach her how to golf
01:44:38.120
Oh, yeah, she's kind of like a black woman, a little.
01:44:43.740
I was, you know, just goofing with her the whole time.
01:44:57.520
And some of her friends, they were having a great time.
01:45:13.920
That's the irony of the best seats in a football game
01:45:29.560
Their neck is the Las Vegas crane the whole time.
01:47:34.380
You've been demoted to assistant boss, brother.
01:49:43.100
I fucking drilled some dude with my car, right?
02:00:39.900
have to be able to work in the same field together.
02:01:00.560
there was a chance I was going to be the bad friend.