E544 Matt McCusker
Episode Stats
Length
2 hours and 4 minutes
Words per Minute
222.60622
Summary
Matt McCusper joins us live from the Media Pouch in New York City this week to talk about his new album, The Hero Squad, and the future of Radio Shack. Plus, we talk about what it's like to work at Best Buy.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:10.720
Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
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Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
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We've got some spring tour dates that I got warm for you here right off the griddle.
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All these tickets you can get through TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
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And we will be coming to Toledo, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Eugene, Oregon, Kennewick, Washington, Seattle,
00:00:55.780
Victoria, B.C. in the Canada, Belton, Texas, San Antonio, Durant, Oklahoma, Amarillo, Texas, Amarillo,
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Oxford, Mississippi, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Tallahassee, Florida, and Rosemont, Illinois.
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You can get all your tickets at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
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Remember, don't buy through a secondary website.
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Go through our website so you're not getting those heightened ticket prices.
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And we do have new merch items back by popular demand.
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We've also got the Hitter Bait and Tackle Tees.
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Get all these and more at TheoVaughnStore.com, the only place to get our merch.
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We are coming to you live today from Austin, Texas, at Media Pouch, where we're taping.
00:02:04.500
And we are grateful today to get to spend time with this fella.
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And he is one half of the Superhero Squad, Matt and Shane's secret podcast.
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And I'm happy to get to spend time today with Mr. Matt McCusper.
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Is it like just a steam room or like attached to a gym?
00:03:00.760
I thought you said you went to a specific place called the steam room.
00:03:03.120
Like it was a new thing that's just a steam room.
00:03:08.840
I wonder if that'd be a good business if you had like another business that also at the same
00:03:29.880
Well, Radio Shack was, it was almost like where you almost just go there to get, ask the guy
00:03:37.320
Once the internet came out, you'd be like, yo, what kind of battery I need for this?
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They're like, oh, I like, they, the last couple of times I went to Best Buy to ask about like
00:04:05.820
Like, let me ask my, uh, and there'll be like a coworker or whatever.
00:04:09.740
And then they'll go over there and then the people will just start laughing at the guy
00:04:13.700
was slipping out of joy and then they'll just walk out of the place.
00:04:18.540
Last time I went to Best Buy, it was just two dudes.
00:04:26.100
And then two other guys were just talking and it was like 10 minutes.
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And some people just watching this guy struggle.
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And I was like, yo, you guys, can you guys come help?
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They, yeah, they call them all frontline workers and stuff.
00:04:47.960
And a lot of them were, um, a lot of them were not heroes.
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I don't, I mean, some of them were, I guess, I guess, actually, if you're door dash was
00:04:58.060
Nurses, remember, they were crying and everything.
00:05:01.560
They, they were, well, yeah, they actually did suck to be a nurse because you were, they
00:05:10.440
You had to like hold your breath the whole time.
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So I wouldn't, I would have tried to breathe as like, you know, as least as possible.
00:05:18.360
You're just talking to somebody really fast like that.
00:05:19.980
You're like, I got to get, I got to put his talking, I got to get out of the room.
00:05:26.360
I wonder if there'd be a good steam, like if you could double, you know, cause I like
00:05:43.440
They come bring you a new pair of shoes and you're like, dude, I might as well walk out
00:05:53.980
Dog grooming and maybe sporting goods or whatever.
00:06:01.360
You just tussle a little bit while your dog's getting.
00:06:13.960
It's like, I did it for a while and it's just like, yeah, your back gets fucked up and
00:06:16.920
you're like, then at the end of it too, it's like, I could just get a gun.
00:06:20.980
Like, you know, it's like, you could just defend yourself.
00:06:24.880
I mean, that's the new jujitsu, a gun, I guess.
00:06:27.420
But it's like, I wonder, you know, sometimes I wonder like if,
00:06:31.360
if I guess if I had a superpower, maybe it would be, I'd want to do jujitsu.
00:06:43.640
If you're at like a restaurant to like choke a guy out in front of everyone and just like
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People are going to be like, dude, that was kind of aggressive.
00:07:13.820
Think of how, dude, have you even stuck your head out of a window when you're going super
00:07:19.180
Dude, imagine if I floated into this room and sat in the chair.
00:07:41.740
I had to put it on my shirt and just fucking wrench it.
00:07:44.600
God, that would be my superpower, I think, to be able to get in here.
00:08:08.500
I think mine would be if you went into the bathroom, not being able to know if somebody
00:08:16.740
It was like when, you know, when you take a dump, it doesn't smell.
00:08:20.360
But it's like the second you walk into a bathroom, you can tell if somebody's dumped recently,
00:08:26.360
Oh, you want to know if they dumped or not know?
00:08:30.020
So that'd be my superpower to not have, not have, because you can't trick your mind to
00:08:35.880
But if the seat's warm, you're going to be like, oh, that's the worst.
00:08:39.320
And you sit down at like an airport bathroom and the seat's 98.6 degrees.
00:08:46.760
And some people do dumps right onto, they won't even flush the toilet at an airport
00:08:57.440
No, you have to, because otherwise you're going to fart like a coward and stink the whole
00:09:04.400
I sit down there for like 15 minutes and they all know what I did.
00:09:12.000
If I'm reading a book, I'll take a book with me.
00:09:15.620
They got to really just get rid of the stigma because it's like, dude, otherwise you're just
00:09:18.660
going to fart silently and just ruin the whole flight.
00:09:22.060
Which I also do sometimes, but it's like, I now I'm like, no, this is, this is juvenile.
00:09:32.840
If you tell the person next to you, like, I'll be back in a little bit.
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Just so, you know, I don't want to cause you any more grief.
00:09:43.720
But yeah, dude, everyone thinks I'm crazy for shitting on planes, but it's like, it's the
00:09:47.980
I never thought it like, I don't know, liberating, it's liberating once you're like, I don't
00:09:56.600
What's crazy to me is talking to somebody and trying to guess if they have like poop
00:10:05.960
You know, if somebody, are you, can you, like, I know some people who can't hold it in
00:10:11.220
I can hold it in for like a disturbingly long period of time.
00:10:45.760
It's three times a day, two, three times a week.
00:10:56.500
How long does it take to even do a poop on average?
00:10:58.480
Uh, it depends if I'm really, if I'm like on my phone, I can, you know, I could sit there
00:11:03.500
literally forever, but 12, I mean, come on, man.
00:11:07.260
On average, a bowel movement takes about 12 seconds.
00:11:11.100
I'm going to, I'm going to show my wife that next time she's on the seat and be like, bro,
00:11:15.160
Get the fuck back in there with these kids, dude.
00:11:18.580
So it's more of a rodeo than it is really like a relaxing thing.
00:11:21.840
I guess I, who made it, who made poops relaxing?
00:11:41.480
Look, they say it's relaxing because it stimulates the vagal nerve.
00:11:44.160
You got, if you ride a bull, you could probably poop very fast.
00:12:14.520
Look, after you've ridden a bull, I think being gay is easy.
00:12:22.700
After you've ridden a bull, being gay has got to be like, that's child for children.
00:12:29.100
Being gay after a bull riding, gay sex, just staying on the back of a dude.
00:12:42.320
He's just fucking, he's guessing your weight while you're fucking.
00:12:49.380
So you were, yeah, I usually, I, you will usually poop two, three times a week.
00:12:58.220
I was about to say your Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
00:13:12.280
The one thing I will say, have you ever shit while you're really stoned?
00:13:20.820
Like, I've taken like a strong weed edible and like, you have to take a dump in the middle
00:13:29.940
You get like very much like, kind of like, you know, you feel like an animal and you're
00:13:43.340
Well, imagine, yeah, say if you, some people used to get their pets high or whatever,
00:13:46.560
you know, and then watching your dog, like my buddy's, it would get his dog high, I guess.
00:13:51.380
I think this is when it was legal or something.
00:13:53.360
And he would get it high and then it would start to poop and it would fall over.
00:14:06.260
Inadvertently, my dog ate a little bit of mushrooms one time.
00:14:12.260
He ate a little bit of weed one time and he was, he couldn't walk.
00:14:16.720
I just had to hold him and just, you know, we spent like, we just like watched a movie.
00:14:26.260
And it would be great to see if dogs started using shrooms or whatever, just to see how
00:14:29.940
they kind of started to put new things together.
00:14:33.460
Dude, I will say he was kind of more well-behaved.
00:14:36.500
I could just be me, but he like never listened and he inadvert, it was like an accident.
00:14:40.140
And I had like, I made like, put something in like a little teabag and I threw it in the
00:14:46.560
And he, I just let him outside and he just zoomed around and went back in.
00:14:53.900
I can't believe this isn't a huge study or something.
00:15:00.700
There's always that stone kid in your high school.
00:15:04.940
It's really, once you're like, yeah, it's okay.
00:15:14.100
Dude, this guy looks like he's not having a good time.
00:15:30.920
What was going on with Roxy had found wild shrooms growing.
00:15:47.900
See, my dog was, my dog might have microdosed though.
00:16:04.140
But this kind of shows you if humans start, like some people say that there's the stoned
00:16:08.220
ape theory or whatever, you know, that if that humans ate, that apes ate mushrooms and
00:16:20.160
Dude, I think there is something to that though, the stoned ape theory.
00:16:22.720
I don't think it's that crazy because our brain size, like, I don't know if it like
00:16:30.760
Back in like the day, our brains were like small and then out of nowhere, they were just
00:16:38.520
I guess they looked at like skull sizes and they're like, damn.
00:16:42.360
Something happened where our brains just went nuts.
00:16:44.240
According to current understanding, the human brain roughly doubled in size over a period
00:16:50.640
With the most rapid expansion happening between 800,000 and 200,000 years ago, marking a significant
00:17:05.880
Human brains have tripled in size since the beginning of the human family tree, which dates
00:17:13.640
See, this for me ties straight into like believing.
00:17:29.840
It comes into your body through a tube, leaves out.
00:17:32.820
You don't have to poop three times a week or a day and on weekends.
00:17:41.380
That's like, you know, sloths shit like once a month.
00:17:45.340
They come down from the tree and they just shit every 30 days like an enormous pile of
00:18:07.280
I wonder if there's a, if there's like, yeah, I wonder if there's, if your body wants to
00:18:24.180
Well, so the fact that you do that every couple of days, is that kind of like beating
00:18:30.820
Well, it definitely feels more of like an organized crime, you know?
00:18:35.100
It's like more, it's just not, you're not just fucking showing up.
00:18:38.820
It's not like it's a, like just spraying bullets in the air, you know?
00:18:42.340
It feels like you just got that fucking John Wilkes poop, you know, you fucking rolled
00:18:49.320
So it's just like, you'll bam, very organized, very Japanese almost.
00:18:59.720
It's like, it's just very, it feels like how it's supposed to happen.
00:19:03.580
Not somebody, the second they get a bullet in the gun, they just fucking do it.
00:19:11.120
I will say waking up in the middle of the night and having to shit is upsetting.
00:19:15.780
Because then you're in total darkness and then you have to like turn on the light.
00:19:20.800
And wouldn't make, because all you have to do is go back to sleep.
00:19:26.340
Nothing in the world is saying, hey, poop now, save yourself some time or whatever.
00:19:33.320
You're saying it's like a life hack to shit in the middle of the night.
00:19:42.400
Well, I've tried to ignore it, but it's like, you know, you can ignore it.
00:19:44.620
You can like wake up and you're like, oh, I kind of got to pee.
00:19:47.380
Then you wake up and like your side fucking hurts and you're like, oh, shit.
00:19:50.620
But if you try to hold in and dump and go to sleep, it's like, you just got to get out
00:19:55.640
Well, but the crazy thing is sometimes you'll get up.
00:20:12.040
It's dangerous when you shit while you're sleepy.
00:20:19.380
You like, especially when you turn the lights on from pitch blackness, you just like, you
00:20:27.020
And then here's the worst thing that can happen to you.
00:20:29.340
You know, there's a video of a guy like his house caught on fire or something.
00:20:35.840
And then his, but his leg, but his legs had fallen asleep.
00:20:43.860
If you're sitting there for a long time, your legs will fall asleep.
00:20:47.360
I've really, I got a nasty hemorrhoid one time.
00:20:52.540
We, we don't talk about this kind of stuff much.
00:21:01.080
I thought you could just sit on the toilet forever and just like scroll your phone and
00:21:05.080
But I got a hemorrhoid and dude, that I looked it up.
00:21:08.680
And like, if you sit there for too long, cause I like to read and stuff on the toilet.
00:21:17.740
Cause your body literally wants to get out of your ass, which is like, it's, it's like,
00:21:22.960
you would think your body's happy, like the insides of you, but they're like, nah,
00:21:34.180
They brain, you know, it never gets a fucking true rest.
00:21:43.700
I guess I just, I guess I just, I can't believe how much some people do.
00:21:47.580
Cause to me, pooping feels like you have to earn it.
00:21:51.740
You know, if you're just, if somebody just, you know, yeah, I'll go shit or whatever.
00:22:23.920
Dude, I literally, I, so when I was little, I was like down the beach with like my cousins
00:22:53.200
And my, it was like, dude, my uncle was like, it was like a fucking like a probation officer.
00:23:02.780
Dude, I would always get nervous in the locker room or whatever that my penis wasn't good or whatever.
00:23:10.500
He took a marker and write like, not good next to my penis.
00:23:15.360
And so I was always like super paranoid, you know.
00:23:17.880
But I would always like try to like shake it against my leg to get it fired up or turn around in the locker room or whatever, you know.
00:23:27.540
But when you're peeing, you can kind of like peripherally see other dicks like just out like the very corners of your eye.
00:23:33.880
And they always look just enormous every single time.
00:23:57.480
So if anyone catches me, they're like, oh, shit.
00:23:59.520
Well, it should be where if you squeeze your balls, that stuff goes into your wiener and makes it bigger.
00:24:10.460
I always wish that they were squared or whatever.
00:24:15.520
When you mean business, you're like, all right, motherfucker.
00:24:30.560
Or if your uncle's like, pee right now, you're like, or check this out.
00:24:34.500
Just, you can go and drink a beer with me, dude.
00:24:49.140
You know, my arms are just, whether I've been flying or you go to work out and then you're
00:24:54.260
on the go and next thing you know, you're feeling chapped or you're just feeling like
00:24:58.980
your body's just made out of just, dang, this baby paper.
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00:27:26.180
Did you guys do something special for it or how does that kind of work?
00:27:29.020
Do you feel like you have to, uh, no, I, I don't, but you know, um, I, I, I'm not
00:27:34.520
really like the, I'm not big on milestones and stuff.
00:27:41.040
Um, but no, we didn't really do anything that crazy.
00:27:43.760
10, 10, maybe we'll do something cool, but especially with little kids.
00:27:46.940
It's like, you can't really do, we can't go on like a trip.
00:27:49.080
We could, but it's like, it's just a pain in the ass.
00:27:55.600
You know, we're just five years trying to do five more, you know, that's all it is.
00:28:03.380
Did you have a moment for yourself where you were like, wow, it's pretty cool or.
00:28:06.040
Well, to be fair, I originally, I thought we had been together for 10 years total.
00:28:10.560
So I originally was like together 10 years, married for five.
00:28:12.780
And she's like, dude, we've been together for nine years.
00:28:16.540
I was like, damn, it's like the longest relationship I've ever been in.
00:28:22.500
Five years of marriage is very, that's a big deal now.
00:28:27.580
There's the five, they claim that the true power struggle lasts for five, the first five
00:28:31.980
years are a giant power struggle where you both try to like, you know, who's, who gets
00:28:37.560
Like there's a million little things you have to like hammer out agreements on.
00:28:40.660
Like how full, like it's, it might be in silly, but it's like, how full should the
00:28:47.400
And you have a power struggle who gets to say what.
00:28:49.360
And you know, so it's like, I think it's, I think it's kind of real cause it has subsided
00:28:52.420
a lot in terms of like just bickering over stupid shit.
00:28:55.480
Do you look forward to seeing your wife when you get home and stuff?
00:28:58.620
I look forward to, I look forward to seeing her, the kids, especially if they go away.
00:29:01.500
Yeah, dude, there's a, there's a post that's, we were, that's you.
00:29:12.740
But yeah, the kids, the kids are the big ones, man.
00:29:14.900
They run and give you a big hug, but it's like, it's just nice to have like the central
00:29:20.740
Is there ever moments where the kids favor one or the other and that hurts your feelings?
00:29:29.180
They, when they're really little, they don't want anything to do with the dad for the most
00:29:32.220
part, which is like, all right, I could deal with that.
00:29:34.480
And now they're like, they're rolling with me, but they'll go back and forth between like
00:29:39.120
And honestly, though, when they're like, we want mommy to put us to bed, I'm like,
00:29:45.560
They would like, they're all about me for a while.
00:29:47.140
And I could see it would like hurt my wife's feelings a lot.
00:29:53.220
And it's like, if one of us are away, they want the other one.
00:29:56.120
It's like the portal in the football or whatever.
00:30:04.320
As long as you're together, I think it's, you know, it's cool.
00:30:06.560
But like the separating man, that's such a nightmare to navigate, it seems like.
00:30:10.420
Because then it's like, you have two different houses, you know, and I know myself, I'd make
00:30:23.740
I think divorce is actually going down, but it's still like 45% of marriages get divorced.
00:30:36.040
In the United States, the percentage of marriages that end in divorce varies by the number of
00:30:46.260
So first marriage is 41% of first marriages end in divorce.
00:30:58.660
Fourth marriage is 100% of the time end in divorce.
00:31:01.340
Well, yeah, the, uh, yeah, man, it's, you know, what were you asking?
00:31:09.000
Like, do you have something that you feel like you've kind of honestly learned or like
00:31:12.940
you've been like this, this helps or this is something that I had to adjust about myself
00:31:20.160
I, uh, for me, it's like, I can only speak for myself, but it's like, and I think you
00:31:25.260
could say to other people, but it's like you, as a person, you have massive blind spots as
00:31:31.940
And it, it takes a lot when you get input on those things.
00:31:40.080
But over time it can almost like give you insight into aspects of yourself that you're like,
00:31:45.120
yeah, I could probably change this a little bit.
00:31:47.700
Or even in like the heat of arguments, I'll hear something she'll say.
00:31:51.280
And in my head, I'll, before I even have time, I'll be like, fuck that.
00:31:54.900
Then there'll be a part of my brain where like, fuck, that's kind of valid.
00:31:59.380
So you start to like get better at like being like, you're right.
00:32:03.820
And then also like, you have to be like, but this is something, you know?
00:32:06.420
So it's just like learning how to communicate and in order to communicate, you got to take in
00:32:10.300
a lot of like kind of bad stuff about yourself without like completely just getting
00:32:14.520
floored to level 10, which you don't even realize is happening.
00:32:18.940
We, I guess you have somebody that you, I guess you were like, okay, I trust my spouse.
00:32:24.020
So I'm going to listen to some of their feedback.
00:32:27.020
And like, it's one of those, especially if you're, if you're like simultaneously bothering
00:32:30.560
each other, you're programmed to be like, the thing you're doing is worse than the thing
00:32:35.240
And you have to like take perspective and be like, all right, that's valid.
00:32:39.320
And it just like, it literally feels like you're moving like an 800 pound stone to just be like,
00:32:45.460
Maybe that is a personal weakness of my, it's just fucking hard, but you learn how to do.
00:32:51.320
But you know, it's just like, dude, there's just so many facets to it.
00:32:55.160
Cause then you have kids and it's like, well, who gets to dictate like the philosophy of
00:33:00.680
Do you have to have conversations like about that kind of stuff all the time?
00:33:02.640
You have to talk about that kind of stuff all the time.
00:33:04.400
And it's like, how do we, how should we parent?
00:33:07.980
But then you can't do it in front of the kids, but then you're, you, as it's going on,
00:33:10.760
every cell in your body is like, say it now and you have to hold, sit there and wait.
00:33:18.820
Like something that actually bothered me today.
00:33:23.460
And you can't do that thing where you're just in the room, but being loud, but being quiet.
00:33:31.760
I'll lay down and just be like, what's the matter?
00:33:37.760
Just wait for three days and make, actually what was bothering?
00:33:40.760
You were fucking just picking your skin off in the garage and fucking drinking PBRs back
00:33:52.620
Being loud, but being quiet is the craziest behavior.
00:33:56.940
If I see someone else do it, I'm like, what are you fucking crazy?
00:34:00.420
But I'll definitely be like, and sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it.
00:34:04.160
I'll get into bed and just be like, I'll hear everybody like, what's the matter?
00:34:15.840
Cause it's like, it's like you hear like, uh, whatchamacallit, like in it, it's not a
00:34:22.000
He had that special red flags and it's not like that taps into a big thing of like online
00:34:27.060
dating, all the stuff where it's like, if anyone exhibits any sign of weakness, that's
00:34:34.660
And eventually you got, and again, I'm not slamming the Reif man for that.
00:34:37.060
It was just, he's tapping into like, no, that's just popular consciousness of the young online
00:34:42.240
But it's like this, like red flag philosophy is like, everybody has red flags.
00:34:46.620
Now you're just, everybody's like, fuck everybody.
00:34:54.620
You think everybody spuds McKinsey or whatever?
00:34:58.440
It's like, that's, that's the thing where it's like, you have to like, you know, and
00:35:03.180
I, I think couples counseling is a great thing.
00:35:04.800
A lot of people are like, it's a fucking waste of time.
00:35:09.600
Cause then it enters a, it's the best thing when you're arguing, it's like, I'm the boss,
00:35:17.260
And then it's like, when you do couples counseling, if your wife's right, it gets to like, kind
00:35:22.360
of, instead of like hitting you like a laser beam, it goes to that person.
00:35:26.540
It's like the, I don't know how to explain it, but it's like every now and again, another
00:35:31.160
person with, you know, with like degrees and shit would be like, actually your husband's
00:35:34.980
And you're just like, it's like, he's a starling kind of, it kind of is.
00:35:37.960
You get to, it just, I think it's great for people.
00:35:41.340
Cause it's like, you don't want to hear it from the other person.
00:35:44.680
Like if like my wife's telling me something, I'm like, I don't want to hear this shit.
00:35:47.360
If she tells him, then he tells me, I'm like, that is actually a fantastic point.
00:35:52.200
Like it just, I mean, people have to, how do you bridge a topic?
00:35:57.600
Say there's something you want to talk to your wife about.
00:36:01.920
So I've learned before I would just boil quietly and then like explode.
00:36:14.800
But what I do now, I can freckles of flying across.
00:36:22.240
The, uh, well, the problem is it's like, all right, here, I have a piece of information.
00:36:25.720
If I relate to this person, they're going to have a big emotional reaction.
00:36:31.880
And so eventually what I learned to do is be like, I got to tell you something.
00:36:35.700
Then this is actually going, this could potentially get you upset.
00:36:38.760
So like that way they're, they're not caught off guard.
00:36:42.040
And they're like, all right, they have time to prepare themselves.
00:36:44.340
And then you hit them with the information rather than this being like, yeah, that really
00:36:49.560
And that, you know, they're just like, well, what the fuck is this?
00:36:51.160
So I, you have to like, for me, it's like, I have to preface the fact that I'm about
00:36:54.300
to bring up something that could be potentially upsetting.
00:36:59.660
Cause then they're not, then they're also not thinking that you also wanted to catch me off guard.
00:37:05.600
You're telling them something that's going to upset them and then you're also surprising
00:37:12.080
It shows you care to be like, Hey, I don't want to upset you, but I have no other choice
00:37:19.600
Now here's the information a thousand percent of the time, or it works like a thousand percent
00:37:26.460
You got to share stuff constantly back and forth.
00:37:37.220
So it could be fucking, you know, maybe some people might not be the thing.
00:37:41.760
So yes, it's, it's tough, it's tough to figure out.
00:37:48.320
The question then is like, how much flack do you take?
00:37:50.080
Like how much stress do you take before you're supposed to call it quits?
00:37:57.640
I'm watching some friends and stuff go through divorces and it's really challenging, but then I'm
00:38:00.760
also watching friends stay together who are trying to just battle it and figure it out
00:38:04.720
because that's what they want the story of their life to be.
00:38:09.540
Because that can get to the place where you just, I've been in houses where it's like the
00:38:17.800
We had a dude on our street when I was growing up.
00:38:19.080
He tried to burn his family down like three fucking times and his wife stayed with him
00:38:29.460
He was, and everybody knew, you know, everybody knew how much he didn't like her, you know?
00:38:34.780
I would say, I would say, just try to cook the house.
00:38:38.640
Just fucking a dude, but animals, you know, people, people are animals, you know, raccoons
00:38:44.020
will eat their young just so another, so they'll go into heat.
00:38:48.120
So another raccoon will come and have sex with them again.
00:38:55.740
I'm not saying what city this is happening in, but I'm just saying that, yes, dude.
00:39:03.500
Because what, just munching your baby puts you in heat?
00:39:06.380
Male raccoons, also known as boars, can kill a baby raccoon in a practice called infanticide.
00:39:11.100
This can happen for a number of reasons, including sexual dominance.
00:39:19.980
So the mom can't come up with any bullshit excuses.
00:39:25.940
They'll be like, oh, you think you're fucking, just gobble the babies and be like, we're fucking now.
00:39:33.960
I'm turning this living room into a soup plantation right now.
00:39:40.180
They're like romantic novels must be crazy too.
00:39:42.500
Just a fucking cover of a jacked raccoon with a baby in his mouth.
00:39:47.200
And he's seeing that raccoon that plays dad and he puts that broomstick over him to make
00:39:59.420
This is the fucking craziest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:40:19.240
Keep looking forward and find it if you can for me.
00:40:39.980
So it's just a ring and it brings up the information.
00:41:14.380
This is somebody you mean on Craigslist for sure.
00:41:17.380
Dude, we got the guy from Craigslist coming on.
00:41:24.500
Dude, you know how many blowjobs that guy's responsible for?
00:41:31.480
There's got to be a ton of kids out there that happened because of him.
00:41:40.660
We met her off of personal encounters or whatever.
00:41:50.720
I figured she might be a man or whatever, but hopefully she wasn't.
00:42:05.200
So, going back to my place, she covered anything in my place that had any light closed, all
00:42:12.140
covered the VCR thing, like in no light at all.
00:42:23.860
You think I'm just going to invite somebody just to fucking sleep at my place, right?
00:42:29.600
You think I'm going to fucking, bro, meeting somebody and then letting them sleep at your
00:42:44.380
So she covered every source of light and then had sex with you?
00:42:53.480
I knew that, but I didn't know much else after.
00:42:57.100
I couldn't tell if she didn't want to see me, if she was scared.
00:42:59.800
Maybe she was nervous that there was a camera or something.
00:43:01.760
What's the, if you don't mind me asking, what's that Craigslist pussy like?
00:43:09.320
It was, you know, it was, you know, norm, you know, pretty.
00:43:19.860
Every time I've, I've sold a lot of things on Craigslist, just like I've sold cars on Craigslist.
00:43:24.280
I've bought like, I think I bought like a Game Boy Advance for my sister on here for Christmas.
00:43:28.500
Do you ever meet anyone to like buy or sell anything?
00:43:32.000
A buddy of mine was buying some walkie talkies or trying to sell some walkie talkies and he got fucking jumped.
00:43:38.120
Dude, everyone I've met from Craigslist, I just assume they die like 10 minutes after we meet.
00:43:42.260
They always like seem like they're on their last leg.
00:43:44.800
Every time I sell someone, I'm like, that guy's definitely dead.
00:43:51.660
Dude, one time on Craigslist, we were like, we had a fireplace.
00:43:55.880
I remember the first time I'd ever had a fireplace.
00:43:59.200
Me and my friend were sharing a living room, dude.
00:44:02.580
So we had like put beds in the living room and we had a fireplace and they're like, let's make it nice.
00:44:08.880
Did you ever tell people that it was your spot, but your boy was just crashing?
00:44:18.720
I'm like, yeah, I'm like my buddy crashing that top bunk, man.
00:44:23.860
And we even had a fake army bag that was just stuffed with sheets and we put it by the extra bed.
00:44:30.520
But we, so one day we're like, we need firewood, right?
00:44:42.900
It took us an hour and 30 minutes to go get it.
00:44:48.740
And it's just like somebody had like literally taken like a big shiffer robe or something
00:44:52.540
and just batted it together with a bat, beating the shit up with an axe.
00:44:56.920
And so it was just chipped up fucking wood, right?
00:44:58.800
So it's, we have, we put it in my buddy's fucking hatchback.
00:45:05.360
Dude, we burned all that wood in like 12 minutes.
00:45:24.320
We were literally running against it and trying to push it in, dude.
00:45:28.500
I remember leaning against it and just fucking crying, bro.
00:45:31.120
Dude, I had to move myself one time and I was trying to get a box spring up to the second
00:45:39.720
And it was, I dropped it, let it fall and just cried on the step.
00:45:44.960
Dude, just moving and not being able to fit something.
00:45:47.400
It's like, where am I going to get another box spring from?
00:45:52.540
And it's just, you just go and you're like, dude, fuck.
00:45:56.220
And life just wins and you just can't do it anymore.
00:46:03.260
I was like, thought I could have a box spring and be a normal guy.
00:46:06.620
Dude, my buddy, I used to sleep under his bed for a while and he would have girls come
00:46:12.260
over and they'd always go to the restroom or something before they were going to make
00:46:15.420
He'd wake me up and he'd be like, don't fucking up.
00:46:19.140
But he'd wake me up and tell me to don't wake up.
00:46:30.440
So you were just fucking like vampire underneath.
00:46:40.180
Were you like for real under the bed like a monster or was it like a loft kind of thing?
00:46:50.020
I just fucking put my hand and just creeps out the itch.
00:46:54.800
Was it like the loft style set up and you were just going to?
00:46:59.180
And so, yeah, I had probably, I would say 20 inches under there.
00:47:14.360
I slept at my cousin's house one time when I was little and I slept on the floor, but
00:47:18.960
I ended up with half of my body under his bed and I freaked out when I woke up.
00:47:24.340
I just looked up and I was like, what the fuck?
00:47:26.420
But that must have been sick to be laying under someone having sex like that.
00:47:30.680
Yeah, well, it was, and I think, look, he did it because he was trying to make sure
00:47:34.440
I knew he was hooking up with chicks, you know?
00:47:40.440
Should have gave him a little, just so he would know, just from the bottom.
00:47:43.620
Just push a little with my legs up against the bottom of it.
00:47:45.940
Like, boost, yeah, get a little, just leg pressing like a quarter inch deeper.
00:48:01.960
Dude, anybody that has sex for more than probably six or seven minutes is out of their fucking
00:48:09.540
I'm like, even to say it, I felt afraid to say it.
00:48:12.300
No, we, I used to live, me and Brittany lived below a couple and the guy would just, for
00:48:17.740
fucking like 40 minutes, just be like, and it was just never ending.
00:48:35.120
I, it's, I mean, if you're really getting after it, 12 minutes top.
00:48:49.460
You have to definitely, yeah, I would get so nervous.
00:48:53.580
Sometimes I would get off and I'd be like, what was that?
00:48:56.540
Like, you know, oh, you hear that or something?
00:49:02.340
Like if I would get, you know, ejaculate earlier.
00:49:11.940
Come back like 10 minutes later with my clothes on.
00:49:15.760
Although I, I feel like women secretly, I mean, not even secretly, they'd much prefer
00:49:19.720
that than like, if you just couldn't finish, it devastates women.
00:49:24.780
If you can't finish, dude, they, you know, people like say the guys are bad at being
00:49:30.720
But like a dude, if a dude doesn't come ever, like women, women will implode.
00:49:34.120
But that's, I think the new move is not like just coming for just fun, like just party
00:49:45.740
I mean, do you mean like personally or just kind of like in the whole thing?
00:49:48.620
It's like, it's like, I want to just, I want to be the guy that kind of, you know, ejaculates
00:50:01.440
I think I'm Stephen Douglas of fucking ejaculations, dude.
00:50:04.880
I have the same fantasy though, where I'm like, I'm going to really like dial it in
00:50:14.120
And it's like, I'm going to have a beat off, even though I'm not horny.
00:50:16.980
Oh, you're not even, you don't even want to, but you're like.
00:50:22.920
You finish and you're like, I didn't need to do that.
00:50:27.600
I feel a ton of shame happens for me from watching porno.
00:50:40.880
Like when it's over and I'm still watching it and I'm just like, if I can do like a memory
00:50:50.700
Dude, I had a blind dude that lived with us for a bit and we would fucking, I saw him
00:51:07.680
I mean, it was, what gay, it was like, you know, but it was pretty cool.
00:51:12.840
It was like, I'm trying to think of what movie or braille's just shaped like boobs and you're
00:51:21.460
But it's just interesting to see, you know, it's almost like watching the nature channel.
00:51:53.820
Dude, is Eli, does he just get carried along by Peyton?
00:52:00.420
Is Peyton the one with all the pizazz and Eli just gets kind of carried on?
00:52:19.060
Because I would have thought Peyton was definitely the guy, but apparently Eli was kind of nasty
00:52:25.400
Eli is definitely funnier to be around when I'm around the two of them.
00:52:33.960
But Peyton went to UT, so you see him sometimes like in Nashville or in Tennessee.
00:52:44.000
He's good in those commercials, but he actually, yeah, he's pretty good.
00:52:55.120
Dude, I forgot you're asking me what I've been up to.
00:53:02.800
My oldest daughter's going to turn five, so that's like kindergarten.
00:53:09.940
And we were looking at this one place, and they have plainclothes just like guards now
00:53:17.880
I was like, dude, I really want to retire and become plainclothes, just walk around
00:53:22.960
a school, just grow like a ponytail and just become a teacher.
00:53:27.140
You just wait for like some nerd to pop off, and you just blast him.
00:53:35.140
But what if you fucking, what if you start tripping in your head and thinking that somebody's
00:53:55.440
No, you're saying like get like all tripped out.
00:54:04.360
And the moment one of those motherfuckers pulled out the steel, I would just be there ready
00:54:19.240
And if I, you know, if I died, I'd die a fucking hero.
00:54:24.940
You have these two hands even holding a gun up.
00:54:28.400
What if an adult kid, sometimes like crazy adults kind of.
00:54:33.460
It's like evil nerds or a fucking like just wild adult.
00:54:39.740
Oh, but it's like, dude, that would be that would be.
00:54:42.580
I was just at this school and it was like a guy.
00:54:44.700
I saw the guy because they were like, you know, my wife said, you have security.
00:54:52.480
As soon as I saw like, oh, dude, I'm like, oh, there's the plainclothes security guard.
00:54:55.800
When I was young, we just had like a milf with a hammer running around.
00:55:09.040
Just walking around, chilling, knowing like, yeah, dude, all I have to do is chill here.
00:55:19.860
I would just be getting hype for like 30 years.
00:55:35.020
By the end of it, I'd just be tipping my hat to the teachers like, ma'am, all black leather
00:55:45.160
I'd roll a tumbleweed before I walked anywhere.
00:55:48.860
Bro, these people should have their own tumbleweeds, right?
00:55:56.140
A hero should have a couple of tumbleweeds in front of them, dude.
00:56:02.220
Or even if some twinks dressed up like in hay and stuff.
00:56:20.600
So when we were visiting, her family was like, you got to be careful now.
00:56:24.060
And they kept calling them the hop out boys, which you shouldn't give these guys a cool
00:56:29.020
But they were like, dudes are just hopping out of cars with AR-15s and just carjacking people.
00:56:32.960
So my wife was telling me about it the whole time.
00:56:40.780
I was like, bro, it'd be the worst day of that guy's life.
00:56:45.540
I was like, I wish one of those motherfuckers would.
00:56:47.720
And the whole time we were there, I was like, please, please.
00:56:54.460
I told her, I told her I was going to grab the barrel and tie it in a knot and be like, get
00:57:01.580
Your wife is going to be holding the blood into your body, dude.
00:57:09.540
I would have like, all right, you guys, you can have the fuck the car and the family.
00:57:12.680
Do you think a wife likes it if the husband has a gun on him?
00:57:18.880
I mean, dude, like you could get the most like lib lady, but she's going to love all
00:57:31.880
A lot of the women there secretly had like deeply conservative husbands who worked as
00:57:39.060
They just do it because they feel like somebody has to promote what would be idealistic.
00:57:43.820
I mean, that's what a lot of like, I guess, I don't know.
00:57:47.500
I mean, a lot of people's view, it's just like this.
00:57:53.040
It's like, like I have friends that like, um, will talk to me about like, well, you
00:57:57.780
guys have guns there in America and stuff like that.
00:58:10.740
If you do a gun drive, the good guys are just going to give their guns away.
00:58:17.180
And what are you going to call a policeman who does, if he doesn't have a gun, he's not
00:58:22.080
What do you think is he going to drive by and honk at you guys while you're getting
00:58:29.280
But I do think, yeah, I think, but ideally, yes, it'd be great if there weren't like, I
00:58:37.560
Because there are people shooting each other all the time.
00:58:45.520
You're not going to be able to, the technology chain is going to have to be an interchange
00:58:51.000
And it's like, yeah, like, what do you want to not have one when a criminal with a gun
00:58:55.380
Or the government has to be the one who takes them.
00:58:57.760
Then that's a whole other can of worms because it's like, we're not giving you my fucking
00:59:03.020
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00:59:10.640
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Well, you can discuss that with one of the licensed physicians.
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01:01:44.920
It's a tricky thing, although right now a lot of people are gloating on the libs.
01:01:51.280
A lot of people are gloating on them because Trump got elected.
01:01:58.340
Dude, how did the Ken Wilber thing go, by the way?
01:02:08.620
Oh, I don't know if I talked to you about that.
01:02:12.960
Yeah, but we worked together to make it as effective a conversation as we could.
01:02:17.720
But it was really cool just learning about his philosophy of how as a species, we are evolving.
01:02:30.560
So how those affect you personally and how you-
01:02:42.160
And there's like cells and cells turn into like organisms.
01:02:47.340
Yeah, we started going up the chain of command, right?
01:02:52.880
Where we had like, you know, like medieval rulers into democracies.
01:02:55.640
And then the libs are the leading edge of cultural evolution where it's like everything's being more and more inclusive physically and worldview-ly, you know, in terms of worldview.
01:03:05.140
It's just the libs lost the plot, or they call it the green wave, lost the plot because they include everybody but like, you know, Trump, white type Trump voters.
01:03:27.060
I mean, like I got so angry when they did that stuff to Bernie, you know?
01:03:31.340
Like, my dad was an old man, so to me, it also registered like somebody taking advantage of an older person.
01:03:37.960
So that shit, like at that point for me, I was just like, what's going on here?
01:03:42.020
And then I am super concerned about like the big pharma and medicine just using us all and not caring that we're human beings.
01:03:53.580
Like, yes, there's a lot of medicine that's helping people, but also like everybody shouldn't be on a medicine.
01:04:02.580
Then you look it up and it's like, it's for like heart failure.
01:04:09.140
I'm not going to be like, yo, can I get that heart failure medication?
01:04:15.020
And you're like, what do we need to meet that for?
01:04:21.920
He was kind of the guy that I thought was neat.
01:04:24.800
I like the fact that he's doing all that stuff against all those things.
01:04:27.240
And then I think, I don't think we have the same parties anymore.
01:04:30.180
I don't feel like it's Democrats and Republicans anymore.
01:04:35.720
Well, that's the Wilbur stuff is that the green, it was like orange is like the business
01:04:42.000
It's like in terms of worldviews, you could have like what he called red was like ethnocentric.
01:04:47.020
It's like, it's things that speak to like ethnocentric ideals where people get to the
01:04:51.160
point where they can only recognize like people that look like them.
01:04:53.940
They can only care about people who look like them, which is like a reality for a lot of
01:04:58.580
It's like, you know, every country in every country is like, we have the best food.
01:05:04.220
And then his whole theory is that you slowly grow out of it to more complex and inclusive
01:05:09.580
But it was, again, it was like that, the thing that crushed like the, like the, what
01:05:14.180
Jordan, Peter, Jordan, Peter, or Peter, what the fuck is his name?
01:05:19.940
His whole thing we call is like postmodern neo-Marxism is that green wave Ken Wilber talks
01:05:24.340
about where it's like the leading edge where all the colleges are like radical inclusivity,
01:05:27.520
but all they have to do is go, Trump guys, you're cool too.
01:05:33.140
And now the whole thing is just imploding on itself.
01:05:35.880
So that's the part that makes you start to think, do they just hate like white men?
01:05:40.680
For me, it's like in three generations, it's like, I always say like beige power, like
01:05:46.680
In three generations, everybody's going to be like, you know, Ben Simmons, Blake Griffins,
01:05:57.840
How do we want to operate that in the meantime?
01:06:00.660
But then I think when people get scared, especially with like threats of war, fears, they start
01:06:07.460
to, they want to gravitate towards whatever is their, seemed like their people.
01:06:12.900
You go to prison and everyone's, you know, it's all like based on race and all that stuff.
01:06:16.360
And then, but, but everybody is a jelly roll fan, you know?
01:06:24.520
Well, dude, it's, it's like, yeah, what they, where they fell, you know, this is like,
01:06:29.260
if you didn't, the will, it's hard to explain without like seeing the Wilbur thing, but it's
01:06:31.940
like, if you take what they, what's called like a lib or a, you know, a postmodern neo-Marx,
01:06:36.920
Like people who are, you know, like a radical feminist, they built their, their thing was
01:06:42.500
And being like, we should be nice to everybody.
01:06:48.000
The problem was they went, and the reason everything's so bad, they're like, we hate
01:06:52.680
racism in every form, every type of discrimination.
01:06:58.600
Now you're just being racist in a more sophisticated fashion.
01:07:02.600
That's why it's not, if it's a truly like visionary and leading, like kind of like evolutionary
01:07:08.080
tip of like our spiral upward into like complexity and greater wholeness.
01:07:15.060
That's the next step is like being like, okay, here's all the good stuff from your worldview.
01:07:21.440
And rather than being like, this is the reason everything's fucked up is because blah, blah,
01:07:26.740
I mean, that's one thing that's kind of gets worried, worried about Trump is like,
01:07:29.380
is he going to be, is that, is the pointing fingers?
01:07:35.340
And so it is for now, but it's like, I think they're good RFK smart where he's kind of
01:07:39.460
like, I don't want to participate in any of this stuff.
01:07:43.380
Cause it, I mean, it is so sweet slamming the libs.
01:07:45.760
I will give it, there's, I get like a, when I see the libs get owned, I do, there's a
01:07:51.180
It's just like, there's like on the internet, like liberals owned liberal slam.
01:07:54.180
And it's like, you watch, they do those like, uh, you know, they do those like 25 students
01:07:59.760
That's like slamming the libs porn where it's like him just like taking on 19 year olds.
01:08:04.140
I'm like, actually, you don't know anything about that.
01:08:05.360
And then the, everyone's just like, tell him Ben fucking crushed the libs.
01:08:10.840
When I watch that, there's got that hair wallet on, dude, they did one of them where they
01:08:16.800
make people run to the chair to tap the chair so that they get the chance to debate him.
01:08:23.440
People are like tripping over themselves to hit the chair and be like, actually, Ben,
01:08:32.480
Just to be like, actually, Ben, if you ever threw it, it's like, so I've been trying to
01:08:38.140
And I, I'm trying to like remove that from watching that stuff.
01:08:41.160
Not that, that stuff I'm like, whatever on, but it's like, I will watch like news clips where
01:08:45.080
we're like liberals melt down about, and I'll be like, well, check this out.
01:08:48.640
And I'll be like, yeah, I've been trying to erase that because I'm like, it's not good.
01:08:59.500
I think, well, Kamala wouldn't come on podcast, right?
01:09:03.780
It was like, and we asked and they said, well, do you guys give final edit?
01:09:18.800
Dude, there were snipers on the, I stayed up late, like, trying to get some questions
01:09:26.960
Those were the, them, Bernie Sanders, and Mark Cuban came on.
01:09:30.600
He was very much like a Democrat or left-leaning.
01:09:37.280
I didn't realize he gets, if they won, he get, there's a business incentive, you know?
01:09:42.840
Some of these things I'm learning as I go, right?
01:09:46.080
When they're like, when they're involved in politics, it usually is to like.
01:09:49.800
I'm like, oh, people aren't just out there hoo-ron for no reason.
01:09:53.600
He's not freaking out over like banned books and schools.
01:09:55.540
He's like, I need you to, you know, build a railroad from here to there, whatever the
01:10:00.800
But we had common ground and like just different thoughts and stuff and definitely inspiring
01:10:05.280
But I woke, so I wake up that morning and it was like an hour until the thing.
01:10:09.480
I was like, I had to get in the freaking ice bath.
01:10:14.780
Do you get spun out when you have level, like guests of that high profile?
01:10:39.220
And it's like, yeah, imagine he is such, he'd be such, he's such an electrifying speaker
01:10:47.740
But so, but I wake up, there's fucking, I go in the ice bath.
01:10:51.840
They had drape, put drapes, black drapes in front of the house, right?
01:11:03.340
There's snipers on the roof, on the roof, full tactical gear.
01:11:22.660
And I, they thought it was one of those things where like a suicide in the house, like, like
01:11:27.500
they were sending people in to get, like, I was taking my own life at home.
01:11:31.400
That's how he asked you if you killed yourself.
01:11:46.340
He's like, because we saw them, like, they thought they were rappelling into the home.
01:12:00.120
Oh, and they had a van outside that some weird term on it, like threw people off.
01:12:04.760
And the black curtains around your house would be.
01:12:06.980
I think people thought, but that's what people thought.
01:12:11.560
Yeah, it was like so gruesome that they were like, we got to-
01:12:13.860
But they also had this like Stan's Bakery van or something.
01:12:16.300
Like it was definitely, they kind of like play this old cat and they're like, what is
01:12:25.440
Stan's Bakery, you have snipers and like, yeah, we just got to get these cupcakes in.
01:12:39.280
That was one of the craziest things that had ever happened.
01:12:43.260
But he comes in and I was like, hey, man, thanks for coming.
01:12:46.400
I was like, you know, just want to let you know, we don't have any, we're not like a gotcha
01:12:51.720
You know, just looking forward to having a nice conversation, which is what I tell anybody.
01:13:07.420
I honestly think if you look at it, I don't hate it when people lose anything.
01:13:10.660
You know, it's tough when there's a winner and a loser.
01:13:12.600
Dude, I was in the grocery store the day of, I guess like he got elected that night and
01:13:18.400
then, you know, in the three in the morning or whatever, he won at three in the morning.
01:13:21.340
And then I was in the grocery store the next day and they have like magazines in the grocery
01:13:36.200
If I like just lost, I saw like a magazine with just me on it.
01:13:41.640
I was like, damn, that really sucks for that lady.
01:13:43.640
She just, I mean, that dude, that I, people they've spent, I think a billion dollars on
01:13:49.340
It just shows you that it's must there, but it also, then if that's the, if safe, okay,
01:13:58.640
But if the, if there's just like these powers in the background doing things, it's just
01:14:02.540
like, why would they, if it's not even real, say the office isn't even, you know, it's
01:14:07.920
It just seems like you wouldn't waste that much money.
01:14:10.520
So there must really be, I think there is, man.
01:14:13.700
You get in and it's like power and it's just teams.
01:14:17.340
And this is on that team, you know, could it all be organized?
01:14:20.380
Like, that would be pretty elaborate to like set it all up when you can reality just be
01:14:24.140
like, yeah, we're, you know, we're putting this guy in have, they could just have the
01:14:30.820
And they can meanwhile, just be doing whatever.
01:14:32.260
But yeah, dude, I think, I guess it all is real.
01:14:36.540
And they just, there's like groups and lobbyists and certain, I don't, I don't, that's where
01:14:44.000
And I'll, I'll say who made the whole thing happen.
01:14:46.500
Oh, Kamala reportedly spent a hundred thousand dollars on building a set for her appearance
01:14:53.760
So they rebuilt, they rebuilt their own set, I guess.
01:14:56.740
Well, cause they wanted, I think a host to come to her.
01:15:02.280
But I wonder if she has, that's such a, I mean, you know, it's just kind of weird.
01:15:07.920
I wonder if she may have a thing where she doesn't like going, like sometimes I don't
01:15:13.860
like sleeping at people's houses or whatever I'm talking about.
01:15:18.760
She can't shit anywhere else, but her house maybe could be, which is where people should
01:15:32.160
I always want to be, I'm getting a little, I was like pretty guarded about that, but now
01:15:46.060
You should get more, like you should get like money back or something.
01:15:52.180
You should be a tax writer, like a credit or something.
01:15:57.960
you know, the, the, the violence of shitting that's occurring in airport bathroom.
01:16:05.560
I mean, we, I don't know why we're back to this, but.
01:16:10.840
That's the craziest thing to me to ever is when somebody shits at full blast speed.
01:16:18.080
I, I, from what I like from hearing self guy, from here in public bathrooms, most people
01:16:22.640
are, are in there just having like religious experiences.
01:16:36.700
Oh, they need Bobby Kennedy to get all the crap out of the food.
01:16:41.480
But bro, there's also a part of me that I feel like, do you think we can get more together?
01:16:49.400
Or do you think we should just have two Americas?
01:16:52.460
No, because dude, we're like, people don't realize it, but the parties are rubbing off
01:16:57.620
Like now, like, like, well, most people want the same stuff.
01:17:01.520
Most people do, but I'm saying like the Republicans now have been so like, let's say conservatives
01:17:06.000
are so annoyed by liberals that now they're like going out of their way to be so not racist.
01:17:17.640
I mean, I'm not saying they're doing it despite them, but it's like they have gotten just
01:17:21.980
Like every, you know, like the conservatives and everything for it was like only pretty
01:17:26.200
Now there's a lot of different people in like the conservative movement.
01:17:30.580
So it's like the liberals bring stuff up, the conservatives are like, shut the fuck
01:17:34.400
And then they actually do kind of do a lot of the stuff, but you know, not even realizing
01:17:38.620
So they're kind of both like balancing each other, but people, you know, they're all
01:17:41.520
just caught up in like the, like the primal and tribal aspect of it.
01:17:45.080
But it's like, things are going pretty fucking well, dude.
01:17:47.740
Oh, first, you know, white house chief of staff in history.
01:17:52.840
Cause it's like, they're like Susie Wiles and she's Pat Summerall, John Madden's former
01:18:03.480
I'm telling you, once we just like stop the nonsense of like bitterly arguing about everything,
01:18:09.840
Ben Carson, I think he's going to put back into, I like some of his ideas.
01:18:26.820
There's fucking, there's not much popping, dude.
01:18:32.080
He's a, he's a black conservative guy from Florida.
01:18:37.660
That guy's, I saw he was on the Breakfast Club.
01:18:41.080
The Byron, he's like a governor from, there he, that's my bro right there.
01:18:51.580
Well, it's definitely interesting to see that everything's getting diverse.
01:18:55.820
I thought that that was something, when I read that, it resonated with me.
01:19:09.080
Like I said, I think people are getting real doom and gloom, but it's like.
01:19:13.760
I think things are going to get pretty sweet, actually.
01:19:15.740
Who would have guessed lying about Biden's cognitive health for two years?
01:19:32.400
Like you're just, you're using, it just, it seems like cruelty to a human, right?
01:19:37.460
Like refusing to do an open conversation for a new nominee, never mentioning public health
01:19:41.460
care, embracing fracking, and year-long slaughter of children in Gaza.
01:19:45.460
That's, that to me was one thing it definitely was like.
01:19:51.720
Some of the stuff I don't know, but the children in Gaza thing, and I think just taking advantage
01:19:55.440
of Biden, it just felt like, is this party really doing this?
01:20:01.760
Well, it's like, all they had to do was, if she could have came out and be like, bro,
01:20:08.900
You know, let's not, let's not, let's not, let's not fucking, instead she was like, he's
01:20:15.820
All they had to do, like, obviously the dude was fucking going nuts and getting old.
01:20:22.660
You know when someone's lying and you're like, dude, you're bullshitting me.
01:20:26.460
And it was just like, and now too, with I, you know, not to, you know, fluff the podcasting
01:20:31.980
too much, but it's like now they can't go on like the sound buddy little
01:20:35.820
They have to go sit down and like answer actual questions.
01:20:37.800
And people now, like, I didn't know, I couldn't tell what interviews were edited when I was
01:20:45.280
So they're able to be like, oh, that's, that was a weird jump.
01:20:50.280
So now you have to be able to sit down and actually communicate rather than like hitting
01:20:53.300
talking points and like engineering, you know, people's ideas on things.
01:20:57.300
Do you think that Rogan's endorsement helped Trump win or do you think it had any effect?
01:21:02.200
I don't, it didn't hurt, but I think it, uh, uh, uh, I didn't, didn't hurt, but just what
01:21:09.040
It's like having, setting a standard where like politicians now have to go sit down for
01:21:17.000
Cause really what he did over the past years is just investigate.
01:21:19.580
I mean, he asked so many questions about everything to all types of people.
01:21:23.040
So you learned so much and he's not, he's not a gotcha guy either.
01:21:26.520
So he's good at just being like, like, help me understand this.
01:21:28.920
And that's when people really get kind of flushed out where it's like, if they're not
01:21:32.380
making sense and you know, he's, he's pretty adamant about like, I don't get that.
01:21:43.920
He said, dude, I was in there yesterday and it was like, I was just like, I feel like
01:21:52.260
I just was like getting like a lot of paranoia.
01:22:00.120
I don't know what happened, but I was like, fucking thought I was going crazy yesterday.
01:22:05.460
We have days when you start asking people like, am I okay?
01:22:09.420
That is, it's so hard to explain, but I'll just be like walking sometimes and I'll just
01:22:13.360
get like a feeling where I'm like, bro, I'm fucking losing it right now.
01:22:20.660
And it was like the whole day was like that, man.
01:22:22.320
And then I had to go in there and I felt very nervous.
01:22:25.300
So then you felt like you're under a microscope.
01:22:29.960
What do you do to keep yourself kind of on the square?
01:22:49.620
And then all the players, some guy on the sidelines.
01:22:52.920
Some devout, just brother had really squeezed me.
01:22:55.920
I mean, like I was a fucking, like he was going to brush his teeth with me.
01:23:01.000
I was just like, ah, where, where'd it get you?
01:23:06.680
But then all the players had just won and they were, ah, and they were, and then everybody
01:23:34.380
So you just got squeezed by the strongest dudes in the country.
01:23:39.500
But anyway, I'm, yeah, I'm not whining about it, but it's just like, you can't do anything,
01:23:43.140
You go to open your refrigerator and that suction on the refrigerator.
01:23:47.300
When your ribs are fucked up, it hurts to breathe every breath.
01:23:51.560
And then you're pushing on the side of your body while you're doing everything.
01:23:56.500
And like, you're fucking like one of those guys, like putting away a pocket watch or something
01:23:59.800
like in the twenties or whatever, like that little handicapped peanut that they fucking
01:24:05.920
And you, and there's nothing you can do when your ribs hurt.
01:24:08.180
There's no like sling or you can just, you have to, and yoga is just so much breathing
01:24:12.460
You'd be like, and then you do like the, like this thing.
01:24:17.080
So yeah, just that just, and I was just kind of losing my mind, dude.
01:24:20.000
So then you're going there and you're like, am I saying crazy shit?
01:24:25.900
I think the person that won that election, I think the person that changed it was Dana White.
01:24:49.840
So he was the one being like, you got to do these.
01:24:51.760
He's the one who like talked to Joe about it for years.
01:24:59.640
You know, and, um, that put, that did kind of push it.
01:25:07.560
It was like, just you, if you want to look at YouTube views, that's kind of like, I don't
01:25:10.960
know if that like works with polling, but it's like the Rogan Trump episode.
01:25:16.960
I know it was, it was at like millions quickly.
01:25:21.320
That podcast with Kamala was like, I don't know if it had a million.
01:25:28.960
If you look up the call her daddy or call him daddy or whatever, call me daddy, excuse
01:25:49.600
And it's like public interest in my opinion, probably translates to voting.
01:25:54.660
Or at least people come in to experience the person, you know?
01:26:00.940
You can't watch the full episodes because they're on Sirius.
01:26:08.640
So you can't see the full episodes of these podcasts either.
01:26:19.900
I didn't, I personally didn't really want her to win.
01:26:22.280
Cause I was just like, you know, I, I think Trump will probably maybe stop the wars faster.
01:26:31.880
I feel like there's a changing of these parties because you have former Democrats who are now
01:26:36.800
Republicans, but they'd also don't even get along with half of the people in office.
01:26:45.740
Um, AIPAC and lobbyists like have infiltrated what it seems like politics overall.
01:26:54.760
And people, you can't hide the information from people anymore.
01:26:58.340
Well, dude, the weird thing was, is like, they started like the, the Democrats started being
01:27:03.560
like, I mean, George Bush was great and like, you know, Cheney and all that stuff.
01:27:07.640
And it's like, why, why are they pumped on them?
01:27:09.980
It was, that to me was just weird where it's like, they're all dark.
01:27:12.560
And then I think at the last minute they started being like, yeah, we actually want strong borders
01:27:17.260
And just cause they were like, this is working.
01:27:19.360
So, you know, it's, I think it's all part of a bigger process that is for the best where
01:27:23.440
it's like, like you were saying, the Republican party is totally different, like way different.
01:27:27.100
Remember like 1995, it was like, it was, it was like send people to jail for fucking,
01:27:33.360
you know, 30 years for crack and all this stuff.
01:27:35.400
And now it's like, we should get some of these guys out of prison, you know, which everyone's
01:27:38.920
doing now, but that's because of like a liberal worldview.
01:27:41.960
And that's been, they got to get a couple more brothers in the party too.
01:27:47.620
It's like, so you have like the liberal people have been like, yeah, we shouldn't send people
01:27:50.180
to jail for having crack on them for 40 fucking years.
01:27:52.700
And then you're like, yeah, that's a good idea.
01:27:54.100
But then with the immigration thing, it's like, I, I personally have no problem with
01:27:58.260
immigrants, but it's like, you can only have so many, like, that's a reality, right?
01:28:06.980
So the same thing happens with the border and it's a shame because people want to escape
01:28:10.500
like, you know, crushing poverty, but the Republicans are right in that you can't like, and it's
01:28:15.820
like, if you're like, just thinking on a human level, you're like, I don't want to like kick
01:28:18.440
some guy out or have some guy come against the wall and be like, get the fuck back.
01:28:24.600
But you also, I think there's ways you can do it in an organized pattern.
01:28:30.780
And then they used to have a system where people could serve.
01:28:34.200
They could, you could almost adopt a homeless person or whatever who came across the border
01:28:41.780
So then you as a member of your country, right?
01:28:48.760
But then you get to be part of the, of immigrate.
01:28:53.580
You know, it's like there's an actual connection there.
01:29:03.140
But I was saying too, then you can kind of like set them up and like contest against each
01:29:08.000
Well, people have had that, I've heard that material for like doing like a American Ninja
01:29:16.380
I was saying if you had like, if I adopted a guy, you adopted a guy, we could kind of
01:29:29.480
And you raise money for helping people that are coming over.
01:29:42.620
It's, you get to like kind of lifeguard chairs, right?
01:29:46.940
And you have, you put like kind of cellophane, like kind of like some light blue plastic around
01:29:55.020
And at the bottom of the, at the bottom is a scale, right?
01:30:00.420
And you get two guys who have eaten for like a week, haven't gone to the bathroom.
01:30:05.420
Whoever can do the most poop at, in a given amount of time wins a car or something, maybe
01:30:24.920
But if you see the scale going up or something, it'll at least excite people.
01:30:27.760
You don't think the viewers at home are going to see the pile?
01:30:30.260
I think you want to be able to see it, but you want to see it vague.
01:30:38.560
Have like a, like a frosted glass over something.
01:30:47.680
I recently just did a thing where you, you have to poop at home and then like scoop it
01:30:51.860
and mail it to get like results to see like what they think of your body.
01:31:04.440
You just send it to a scientist and they're like-
01:31:19.240
They like give you a, like a thing to put on your toilet paper.
01:31:26.060
And it has like a little, like, you know, like the dick part of your boxers?
01:31:36.720
I thought you just pick the turd up and put it in a jar.
01:31:38.600
But no, you scoop like the smallest amount and then you put it in, like shake it up in
01:31:45.200
They just tell you like what's up with your microbiome.
01:31:47.960
Tell you like if they think you're chill or not.
01:31:51.860
What if they told you where your stepdad lives?
01:31:57.240
I also think a lot of this stuff too, after doing it, I think it's just a way for companies
01:32:01.960
to sell you vitamins because they could be, based on this, we recommend X, Y, and Z.
01:32:05.180
And once you've made it, once you, you almost want to buy it so they don't tell anybody
01:32:10.140
I feel like you'd be like, don't tell anybody about poop.
01:32:14.740
They're like, yeah, let's keep this between us.
01:32:16.740
Oh, dude, if they could be like, yeah, that guy, oh, we had his poop.
01:32:20.120
I guess we, me and Brittany sent him in at the same time.
01:32:25.760
And I kept telling her that they opened her vial and shut down the lab.
01:32:30.780
I was like, yeah, the whole place had to evacuate.
01:32:43.560
Shit in the tubes and mail it and just both wait for your shit test.
01:32:47.880
That's like jumping over the broom or whatever in some cultures.
01:33:03.040
But it's also, it's like, oh, what was I going to ask you?
01:33:36.000
I would like a little robo lawnmower, though, I'll be honest.
01:33:44.800
They shouldn't give them like legs and arms and shit.
01:33:48.140
Well, you won't need these guys looking like people.
01:33:50.400
Because then somebody is going to start fucking them.
01:33:57.280
But then your kid will like, you're like, mow the yard.
01:34:11.880
This is something that doesn't get talked about a lot.
01:34:13.420
It's like, where do stepdads go when the divorce happens, you know?
01:34:17.680
Because they kind of don't get to see the kids anymore, you know?
01:34:21.520
You're saying when you get divorced and you get divorced, you basically break up with the stepdad.
01:34:31.480
I think the representative from an apartment complex comes and picks them up in a black limousine,
01:34:36.480
takes them back, and they just wait and queue to be stepdads.
01:34:42.720
Because a stepdad gets involved in a kid's life for a couple of years, for better or for worse.
01:34:49.780
I think some might stay kind of in, you know, I don't know.
01:34:56.520
I feel like if you knew the kid from when it was a baby, you should.
01:35:03.840
But like the first couple of years, you kind of check in and then you like forget one year.
01:35:09.240
Or if there's a new stepdad, you can't be like, hey, you got to pass the baton and be like, he's a good boy.
01:35:14.120
But do those stepdads meet somewhere and like have a, do they?
01:35:22.300
They meet at Sbarro and they ceremoniously split a pizza.
01:35:25.100
And the guy gives the new stepdad like the fifth slice and he only has three.
01:35:32.540
Yeah, stepdadding is like, I kind of, it's unheralded.
01:35:39.100
I kind of wish I was able to experience it a little bit, honestly.
01:35:42.060
But, you know, I, for real, I was always, I always assumed that was just like how it would go for me.
01:35:48.360
I was like, yeah, I'll just kind of kick around and eventually I'll just date a check with kids and be a stepdad.
01:35:58.060
Sometimes I have a dream, maybe that I meet a lady and she already has a kid, maybe.
01:36:10.100
I'm telling you, man, it's like the first fucking three years.
01:36:22.380
My buddy just had his third kid and he's a black man and he has.
01:36:28.820
The other guys were like, dude, you're not even a black dad until you have three kids.
01:36:49.760
It's like the first two were just mixtapes and this is like a real album.
01:36:56.680
Any other thing else in the news going on or anything else?
01:36:59.040
Dude, I haven't even, I haven't been fucking following the news.
01:37:08.140
That's my big, um, that's my big kick right now.
01:37:10.740
I've just been trying to just study people's lives and see like at the end of their life,
01:37:20.480
Um, but dude, the, it's been cracking me up because I, Bertrand Russell was like this
01:37:28.360
He wrote, him and like, uh, this guy Whitehead wrote this like big book called Principia Mathematica
01:37:33.760
where they spent, I think like 200 pages proving one plus one equals two.
01:37:41.580
Just because they were finding ways that you could not prove it kind of thing?
01:37:45.940
So apparently math is like, there's like a, like a set of axioms that like you just have
01:37:54.360
There's a bunch of people back in the day who wanted math to be able to like totally explain
01:37:59.580
But there is a aspect of faith in math where you have to believe the axioms.
01:38:04.840
So they were trying to just be like, check this out.
01:38:07.780
And they just got real into one plus one in that book.
01:38:13.000
And I read his and I read the guy, you know, Angela's ashes.
01:38:21.920
So Angela's ashes was his time in Ireland until he was 19.
01:38:25.340
And then at 19, he moved to New York city in like the fifties.
01:38:29.600
That's from the 1950s to like whenever the fucking eighties or whatever.
01:38:34.420
But I've been like, I was reading those both simultaneously.
01:38:36.500
And like, it's so funny how every male memoir is just a guy talking about how horny they
01:38:45.680
Bertrand Russell and Frank McCourt were like, I just want to so fucking horny.
01:38:49.460
I didn't know every guy was just suicidal back in the day.
01:38:56.880
Well, it used to be very poetic if you killed yourself.
01:38:59.360
Remember, it was very, there was like this Shakespearean, like I'm taking my life.
01:39:04.480
Now you're just like a, you know, you're just like a 13 reasons why fan or whatever,
01:39:09.560
you know, but it used to be kind of, there was something very romantic about it.
01:39:25.600
This guy, first person to use Switzerland suicide pod found with strangled.
01:39:32.380
The airport would actually be, your flight got canceled.
01:39:41.880
That was found with strangulation marks on her neck.
01:39:45.480
Following the death of the 64 year old American woman, multiple people.
01:39:54.140
They said a woman used it, but they also found strangulation marks on her neck.
01:40:00.040
So it sounds like maybe they only put her in for a couple of minutes.
01:40:03.520
But it's just, why would she have marks on her neck?
01:40:06.060
If she, if you get, maybe she, she might've attempted.
01:40:08.940
Oh, she was trying to like help it or something.
01:40:10.740
Or maybe she like tried to do the old ceiling and like the, something gave away and she's
01:40:16.380
There was some malfunction and she, uh, the guy was heard saying six minutes after the process
01:40:27.780
Cause I guess if you go that far, if she lives, she would, the product is no better.
01:40:39.340
With my lame ass kids and husband right now, did not taste the sweet release of death.
01:41:04.740
And if you miss your Le Havre, I'm like, I'll fucking go to heaven.
01:41:13.940
Like I've been that furious at a point where it's just like, I'll just, let's shut it down.
01:41:21.020
I'm not going to go walk five seats back and try to go in oncoming traffic to get my bag back.
01:41:26.900
If it doesn't work, you have permission to choke me out.
01:41:31.560
That guy had to just be like, yeah, he's like, oh shit.
01:41:39.280
That'd be nice if the pod just like walls came in and just crushed you.
01:41:42.580
Oh, it like put you into a dizzying state and then it just vacuum sealed you.
01:41:56.540
I don't like when people, again, it's like if you're, if you have like terrible, painful
01:42:01.140
cancer or there's like nothing they can do, I get it.
01:42:05.140
Was he just modeling the tube or is he actually?
01:42:07.620
I guess they obviously do not have a, there's no budget for the model.
01:42:12.840
I'll say that, you know, but I think it was a woman that used it.
01:42:20.940
That's the one product like Coca-Cola and all those, like they have like beautiful people always
01:42:25.860
You don't have like, they're going to have like beautiful celebs like laying in there.
01:42:30.340
They're going to try to, they want to show you someone who looked like that guy.
01:42:47.820
If my kids piss me off, I'm like, I'm, I'm going to go to the pod.
01:42:52.080
If you guys don't clean your fucking room, I'm going to fucking turn myself off.
01:43:03.720
I would set that thing for 30 seconds just to freak them out.
01:43:18.380
We're pulling it up, but there was a woman got stuck in one of the industrial baking ovens
01:43:55.900
But I'm saying that it is a fact that that oven smelled delicious.
01:44:00.140
The woman who was an employee of the store was located at a large walk-in oven.
01:44:03.420
Important to know, the investigation has not yet reached a point where the cause and manner
01:44:12.740
I'm thinking like there was just a big oven on display.
01:44:15.180
I was like, how the fuck did a lady walk into that?
01:44:38.960
Yeah, that's a, well, it's, look, that's, it's an old idea.
01:44:42.260
It's not the first, it's an old idea and people should have not done it.
01:44:45.000
Yeah, but it's like, it's almost like, oh, now you need an oven.
01:44:47.640
You open the door and it has like that, like the, one of those signs that's on like the ladder
01:45:11.560
Because, yeah, how would you shut yourself in there?
01:45:16.280
If I were writing that, I'd say this is very complex.
01:45:45.080
If you're, I'm just, just assume this guy's like, I don't know where, what country that's
01:45:49.760
in, but any other time in history, just being like a midget born in like the third world.
01:45:58.040
I don't know where that guy's from, but he's pretending he's from another country.
01:46:01.000
It would just be a pretty tough road, but now he can just make great viral content.
01:46:19.160
The fact that I was in it again, I was like, fuck you.
01:46:26.840
It's just like, I work myself up into a tizzy doing just like two scenes, like one scene,
01:46:36.200
It's a, but I, yeah, no, I'm, I'm always like, I'm kind of chilling, man.
01:46:41.560
The fact that I'm not like stuck at a job that makes me miserable.
01:46:44.100
I'm like, bro, anything that I can do, let me know.
01:46:47.640
I don't get like caught up in the kind of like, it should be better.
01:47:14.920
Like blue, get in the oven, get in the fucking oven, white dad.
01:47:32.480
They didn't have that, but they're going to get it.
01:47:34.040
Now all the schools, it'll, it'll all get like, we'll start ramping that up.
01:47:40.940
My daughter be like, dude, for real, I'm black.
01:47:56.940
I'm like, again, I'm just biding my time to be a plainclothes school security.
01:48:02.300
I do fantasize about like a nice retirement job.
01:48:26.780
But yeah, that's, you know, for me, I'm just been chilling, man.
01:48:34.460
It's like, I'll still get like bummed out and depressed.
01:48:36.780
And I'm always like, dude, you're such a fucking pussy.
01:48:39.880
So I've been trying to just like be even keeled and just, you know, just work on little projects.
01:48:48.100
Cause certainly people have things a lot tougher, you know, and it is tough too.
01:48:52.000
Sometimes when your life is going good, it's like not to let your ego start to take over.
01:48:55.840
That's, that's the thing that gets really scary.
01:48:58.860
Cause your ego is just like this thing that's kind of grows without you, you know, really
01:49:04.080
And you can be watering it without even realizing it.
01:49:05.940
Oh dude, I, I, I was lucky to have like an ego boom like early.
01:49:15.940
But at the time when I was like 24, 25, I was just making so much money selling weed
01:49:22.560
that I was like, it dude, it went right to my head.
01:49:25.380
As soon as I made like a couple thousand dollars a week, I was just like, Oh my God, I'm the
01:49:33.520
I mean, right now it's the most rings I've ever worn right now, but the, uh, yeah, dude,
01:49:37.420
you just get when you like that, that happened to me and I got like, you just start getting
01:49:42.840
Luckily I got wiped out financially like twice.
01:49:45.420
And then that has like an evening you go like up and back down, you go, okay.
01:49:49.820
And it kind of brings you back to earth where you're like, yeah, like don't, don't let
01:49:52.640
that's anything like that get to your head or like make you act different.
01:49:56.460
It was like, dude, I was making two grand selling weed, but it's like, it was enough for
01:49:59.340
me at such a young age to be like, I'm a, I'm the man.
01:50:04.240
And it was just like, and then I came crashing and burning and I was like, all right, back
01:50:10.180
It really had like a, that for me, it was real experience.
01:50:13.020
And I was able to be like, okay, when things were going well, a, don't be a dick and B,
01:50:18.600
they might not always forever, huge chance it won't.
01:50:20.920
So, you know, be grateful and just kind of like, you know, be nice and just try to help
01:50:24.860
out and don't get too, you know, how'd you get wiped out?
01:50:31.260
I got, I like had like a couple of stretches where like, uh, dudes I know would get fucked
01:50:38.840
And then I mailed like, I think like $30,000 in the mail and that got snagged by the postal
01:50:51.120
And, uh, and what you, can you just not legally move that much money?
01:50:54.160
You're not allowed to mail money like that now.
01:50:55.760
And then what they do is they're like, come on in.
01:50:59.100
And it was like, I wasn't, my name wasn't on it.
01:51:04.080
And the, well, the trick is you can be like, I was buying a car and you know, blah, blah,
01:51:11.800
I'm like, I'm not going to the fucking postal, you know, post mineral, post general mass
01:51:16.540
Like, if you can prove it's legit, they're going to be like, all right, where's your tax
01:51:20.520
I was going to go like, uh, so it was like, you can't, unless you had a legitimate, if
01:51:24.760
I legitimately was doing it, I could be like, Hey, here's what I'm doing.
01:51:28.680
But it's like, it's the last place you want to go in and be like, no, it was actually
01:51:40.080
I would imagine the postal, or they, they maybe, you know, they were like, here you go.
01:51:43.640
But it's like, yeah, that was the big thing back then.
01:51:46.620
You would just get it to your house and write immediately, right.
01:51:50.860
Cause what they do is either a guy in like a officer pretends to work for the USPS and
01:51:58.080
And what they were doing first, which kind of fucked them up.
01:52:00.160
They'd like open the box right now and you open it and be like, there'd be weed in there.
01:52:07.540
So what they started doing is they let you get the package.
01:52:09.920
They wait like 10 minutes and then they come in because people usually get it and cut it
01:52:14.120
So you have to do is you write return to sender, leave it in the corner of the room,
01:52:18.680
And then you put it in your car and you drive towards the post office.
01:52:21.240
So if they pull you over, you're like, but I don't even know what this is.
01:52:23.940
And if you just kind of do a couple of laps, someone's following you, go somewhere else
01:52:27.460
But it's like, that was the move because California would mail it over for just like pennies on
01:52:43.200
Would you start sleeping on your back or something at least?
01:52:49.260
So I would like go away and like ball out like that.
01:53:07.720
And then you go from like, you know, enjoying the perks of that to like, I'd be happy if
01:53:14.880
And at a young age, it's the best thing that could have happened.
01:53:16.860
Because at a young age, I got to like get that ego swell and just completely come crazy.
01:53:21.200
And there's something liberating when it happens.
01:53:23.280
I remember being oddly like relieved at the time being like, oh, this is kind of cool.
01:53:27.580
I don't have to worry about all this shit anymore.
01:53:40.100
We had like, we literally had $200 worth of fucking, like, we were fucking.
01:53:57.880
At one point, I would wake my friend up and be like, are you fucking watching me?
01:54:02.700
And between me and someone else, we had like 60 pounds of weed in there.
01:54:06.840
And I'd have to, I'd have to go in there with a duffel bag in the middle of the day and
01:54:13.100
And the one time I went there at three in the morning, or excuse me, it was like, you
01:54:16.500
know, one in the morning, but I go in there, it's nighttime and there's a fire alarm going
01:54:20.760
And I remember hearing it being like, well, there's a school near, which probably wasn't
01:54:23.160
the best place to have fucking 60 pounds of weed.
01:54:28.420
I load up a duffel bag of like 30 pounds of weed.
01:54:30.820
I come out of the place and surround it in police, police officers everywhere.
01:54:35.660
Cause they were, they came because of that fire alarm going off in the school and I'm
01:54:38.560
holding a duffel bag and they're just standing there.
01:54:43.780
They look at me and I look at them and I was like, boys, I just walked in my car and
01:54:47.880
I just was like, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
01:54:57.620
Cause you feel the second you're, when they're behind you, you must be like, they're fucking,
01:55:03.780
You're like, you're just waiting for one of their cars to pull off.
01:55:05.880
And it was like, dude, it was a massive giant, like hockey bag.
01:55:09.260
And it looks, I was like, this looks so sketchy.
01:55:18.720
And I was like, Hey, I'm like, what the fuck's wrong with that?
01:55:23.820
That is, I will say that is one of the perks of being a white guy.
01:55:37.780
But yeah, and you're just in a paranoid delusion the whole entire time.
01:55:39.940
It's terrible for your, dude, my hair's fucking gray, dude.
01:55:43.000
You're just worried all the time, constantly for years, dude.
01:55:55.180
Dude, it's funny because, sorry to cut you off.
01:55:57.500
You give someone an ounce of weed and you watch them.
01:55:59.660
They'd be like, yeah, just like, you know, sell this.
01:56:08.780
Now you're having to fucking talk to somebody that's fucking high to get you their shit back.
01:56:12.100
And then everybody starts knowing you're the weed guy.
01:56:14.440
So people knowing you're the weed guy, there's something cool about it.
01:56:16.900
But then there's also this fear because you're like, well, I'm going to get busted.
01:56:21.200
Then you hear about other people getting busted.
01:56:28.500
We would bury weed in our, we had like seven dime bags we were trying to sell.
01:56:44.040
That's why you didn't get caught, though, dude.
01:56:52.640
I'm in the front yard just calling my buddy a fucking burying fucking a dime sacks with
01:57:03.520
I know someone who thought he was selling steroids.
01:57:05.980
And he got beat and they were just antidepressants.
01:57:07.840
So he was selling them to like a bunch of people.
01:57:20.560
My girlfriend, while I was away from her house, I was doing something, found them, broke and threw
01:57:33.180
No, I think I had been on steroids at the time and I was not happy when I got there.
01:57:38.900
Look, if you find your boyfriend's steroids, OK, don't touch them.
01:57:43.980
Do not get rid of them, though, because it can create a man and become violent.
01:57:54.980
And I this is like I've interacted with a couple of people who did the combination of coke
01:58:03.900
And then if you're already a little bit bipolar and boom, like, dude, those steroids, the
01:58:07.340
coke and your bipolar mania hit at the same time.
01:58:12.420
I was out to breakfast one time with a guy like that and he ordered.
01:58:16.360
It was actually kind of alpha, but he like we're ordering breakfast.
01:58:18.560
He's like, oh, and I'll take a muffin and can I have that immediately?
01:58:21.980
And I was like, damn, bro, you just hit her with the immediately.
01:58:26.660
Not even like, you know, I can have that before.
01:59:20.940
Bro, I almost passed out in a pool this summer.
01:59:23.680
I tried to do a back and forth in front of all my friends.
01:59:29.020
They were crushing the sides of my head so hard.
01:59:37.540
Do you ever try to hold your breath super long in a pool.
01:59:42.120
I'm like, bro, I'm so close to getting the back and forth.
01:59:55.920
They thought I was like fucking around until I hit myself in the pool.
02:00:00.180
And they're like, yeah, dude, you passed out twice.
02:00:08.580
When the Marines train underwater and pass out underwater.
02:00:12.640
I could see like when you have people like, oh, he hit and drown.
02:00:14.460
It's like, dude, if you try to hold your breath too long, you can miss a window and you're
02:00:18.360
Well, those Kansas City Chief fans were partying with their buddy.
02:00:22.100
Left those four dudes dead on his porch or whatever.
02:00:30.440
That's one thing I'm happy I never got involved with.
02:00:34.380
Everyone's like, everyone I know still does coke, which I'm like, is crazy.
02:00:37.600
They're like, yeah, but dude, like we're testing it.
02:00:46.100
You're the same type of person that mails a shit to somebody.
02:00:51.620
Bro, can you imagine to mail your shit to somebody?
02:00:54.920
You're just some dude in a fucking house, just pounds of shit just showing up at your
02:01:02.600
You're doing it in your garage like Jeff Bezos.
02:01:12.900
It probably just goes right to a landfill and they're like, you need vitamin D.
02:01:33.340
I got to go to the New York comedy festival, the town hall.
02:01:45.940
They just like, they're trying me in theaters right now.
02:01:51.740
So, you know, just got to sell all the tickets of a weekend in one day.
02:01:58.280
You know, it's like, I don't place too much pressure.
02:02:01.760
I try to promote stuff, but I'm not like, you know, if it doesn't work out, that's just
02:02:09.140
And then, uh, then I get a bunch of other dates coming up till like basically like May.
02:02:13.280
So we're all on mattmccusker.com, whatever, but yeah, come check it out.
02:02:23.940
We're, we're, this is, this is like the dark night of our podcast.
02:02:27.020
I'm just holding it down to Shane's doing the tires and I've been, you know, I've set up
02:02:31.740
a new thing now where I, I have like headset mics and I stand at a podium with, and I
02:02:36.360
have the guest stand at a podium and it's been kind of fun.
02:02:38.380
And it changes the energy when you're on your feet.
02:02:52.220
And like, you know, if I need to look at something, I can just kind of fun.
02:02:58.080
And if you take a walk, sometimes I'll notice if I take a walk with a friend, we have such a better
02:03:03.020
Or if I take like one of the things I like to do now, sometimes if I'm even going on
02:03:06.480
a date or something, it's just like, let's just go take a walk.
02:03:08.580
It's like, you kind of get to know somebody is chill.
02:03:14.180
When you, when you like go on a walk, dude, and that's for me, that's the best cure for
02:03:18.300
when you get the mental zoomies hit the fucking road, just walk.
02:03:32.460
Well, yeah, if you need a guest too, if I come back, man, I'll have to pop in.
02:03:43.680
I think he's going to, I'm going to see him next week.
02:03:45.420
So I got like, I think like seven more weeks of episodes to record before it comes back.
02:03:52.340
It's one of those, like, it's been like a learning experience cause it's, you know, it's
02:03:56.560
When it was just me, I was just like, well, fuck, you know, the dogs, man, they'll be
02:04:22.340
I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna tell you.