This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E544 Matt McCusker

00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:00:02.300 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:00:05.060 Whoa, is this economy?

00:00:07.180 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:00:09.620 Sweet! 0.95

00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:00:17.800 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.

00:00:20.980 Nice! 0.94

00:00:22.140 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

00:00:25.260 Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.

00:00:27.340 Sponsored by Bell. Conditions apply.

00:00:28.580 See AirCanada.com.

00:00:30.000 We've got some spring tour dates that I got warm for you here right off the griddle.

00:00:36.600 All these tickets you can get through TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.

00:00:42.500 This is still the Return of the Rat Tour.

00:00:45.480 And we will be coming to Toledo, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Eugene, Oregon, Kennewick, Washington, Seattle,

00:00:55.780 Victoria, B.C. in the Canada, Belton, Texas, San Antonio, Durant, Oklahoma, Amarillo, Texas, Amarillo,

00:01:10.680 Oxford, Mississippi, Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Tallahassee, Florida, and Rosemont, Illinois.

00:01:16.780 You can get all your tickets at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R. 0.77

00:01:22.200 And happy early holidays to everyone.

00:01:25.020 Remember, don't buy through a secondary website.

00:01:27.860 Go through our website so you're not getting those heightened ticket prices.

00:01:32.540 And thank you so much for your support.

00:01:35.940 And we do have new merch items back by popular demand.

00:01:41.400 The Hitter Hunting Club Collection.

00:01:44.600 We've also got the Hitter Bait and Tackle Tees.

00:01:47.660 Those are new, baby.

00:01:49.120 If you like to rod and reel them, baby.

00:01:51.320 Get all these and more at TheoVaughnStore.com, the only place to get our merch.

00:01:57.380 We are coming to you live today from Austin, Texas, at Media Pouch, where we're taping.

00:02:04.500 And we are grateful today to get to spend time with this fella.

00:02:08.580 He is performing in New York City this week.

00:02:10.880 You can get those tickets.

00:02:12.400 And he is one half of the Superhero Squad, Matt and Shane's secret podcast.

00:02:18.400 He just reached five years of marriage.

00:02:21.860 And I'm happy to get to spend time today with Mr. Matt McCusper.

00:02:44.040 I went to a steam room today.

00:02:46.420 Did you really?

00:02:46.980 Yeah.

00:02:47.520 Just steam.

00:02:48.020 It wasn't anything else?

00:02:49.020 Yeah.

00:02:49.140 Have you been in there?

00:02:49.860 I've been in that.

00:02:51.080 Is it like just a steam room or like attached to a gym?

00:02:54.800 Oh, no.

00:02:55.240 It's attached to the gym.

00:02:56.000 It's like in the bathroom or whatever.

00:02:57.380 Yeah.

00:02:57.560 Yeah.

00:02:58.280 Like a room of steam.

00:03:00.260 It's intense.

00:03:00.760 I thought you said you went to a specific place called the steam room.

00:03:03.120 Like it was a new thing that's just a steam room.

00:03:04.800 You walk in, it's just steamy as hell.

00:03:07.860 I wonder if there would ever.

00:03:08.840 I wonder if that'd be a good business if you had like another business that also at the same

00:03:14.740 time was a steam room.

00:03:15.960 That's what I'm saying.

00:03:16.600 Yeah.

00:03:16.760 Get your hair cut and just sweat.

00:03:18.500 Yeah.

00:03:19.540 That would be tough though.

00:03:21.440 Or like a Radio Shack, you know?

00:03:23.800 Oh, that'd be nice.

00:03:24.760 And they're like trying to look at batteries.

00:03:26.360 They could have stayed in business.

00:03:27.940 Oh.

00:03:28.360 If they just cranked up the steam.

00:03:29.880 Well, Radio Shack was, it was almost like where you almost just go there to get, ask the guy

00:03:34.060 a question and then you would leave.

00:03:35.500 It became that place after a while.

00:03:36.960 It did.

00:03:37.320 Once the internet came out, you'd be like, yo, what kind of battery I need for this?

00:03:40.020 And you'd be like, I'll get it right on.

00:03:41.020 Yeah.

00:03:41.260 Get Amazon and be like, right, nice.

00:03:42.640 Yeah.

00:03:42.860 You'd even buy it in front of them.

00:03:46.600 Yeah.

00:03:46.980 That's what Best Buy kind of is too.

00:03:48.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:49.420 And they don't know shit at Best Buy. 0.98

00:03:50.620 Like what kind of camera do I have? 0.98

00:03:51.480 They're like, oh, I like, they, the last couple of times I went to Best Buy to ask about like 0.97

00:03:56.000 cords and shit. 0.95

00:03:56.660 They're just like, I don't really know, man. 1.00

00:03:58.800 I'm like, all right, dude, what the fuck? 0.99

00:04:00.140 What's the point of this place? 0.99

00:04:01.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:02.140 It's kind of bullshit. 1.00

00:04:02.880 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:02.980 They don't know.

00:04:03.580 And then they'll walk over to another guy. 0.57

00:04:05.060 That's the craziest thing.

00:04:05.820 Like, let me ask my, uh, and there'll be like a coworker or whatever.

00:04:09.740 And then they'll go over there and then the people will just start laughing at the guy

00:04:13.700 was slipping out of joy and then they'll just walk out of the place.

00:04:16.860 And you're like, it is so, it's sad, man.

00:04:18.540 Last time I went to Best Buy, it was just two dudes.

00:04:21.040 One guy was struggling at a cash register.

00:04:24.360 He didn't even have like the uniform on.

00:04:26.100 And then two other guys were just talking and it was like 10 minutes.

00:04:28.680 And some people just watching this guy struggle.

00:04:30.340 And I was like, yo, you guys, can you guys come help?

00:04:31.840 And they're like, yeah, man, I guess.

00:04:34.320 And he's walked over.

00:04:35.060 I'm like, all right, well, yeah, it's crazy.

00:04:37.320 Yeah.

00:04:37.640 Customer service dipped during COVID.

00:04:38.960 It's over now.

00:04:40.460 That's a great point, huh?

00:04:41.820 Yeah.

00:04:41.980 Well, we told them they were heroes.

00:04:44.060 Yeah, it's true.

00:04:44.680 They, yeah, they call them all frontline workers and stuff.

00:04:47.080 Yeah.

00:04:47.600 Yeah.

00:04:47.960 And a lot of them were, um, a lot of them were not heroes.

00:04:52.300 I don't, I mean, some of them were, I guess, I guess, actually, if you're door dash was

00:04:56.060 the heroes for sure.

00:04:57.300 Yeah.

00:04:58.060 Nurses, remember, they were crying and everything. 0.95

00:05:00.340 They were scared. 0.90

00:05:01.560 They, they were, well, yeah, they actually did suck to be a nurse because you were, they

00:05:04.500 were in like, they were in grounds.

00:05:06.460 Nobody knew really what it was.

00:05:08.000 Right. 0.83

00:05:08.440 So being around it all the time would suck.

00:05:10.440 You had to like hold your breath the whole time.

00:05:13.000 So I wouldn't, I would have tried to breathe as like, you know, as least as possible.

00:05:16.120 Yeah.

00:05:16.760 Oh, that's a good point.

00:05:17.640 Yeah.

00:05:17.940 You're, yeah.

00:05:18.360 You're just talking to somebody really fast like that.

00:05:19.980 You're like, I got to get, I got to put his talking, I got to get out of the room.

00:05:22.860 Yeah.

00:05:24.020 Yeah.

00:05:24.380 That'd be nuts, man.

00:05:25.840 Yeah.

00:05:26.200 Dude.

00:05:26.360 I wonder if there'd be a good steam, like if you could double, you know, cause I like

00:05:30.220 double style businesses like that.

00:05:32.220 For sure.

00:05:32.640 You know, like a shoe store, but also what?

00:05:38.080 A shoe store, barbershop.

00:05:39.860 I'm going to keep using barbershop.

00:05:41.120 That would make sense.

00:05:42.460 Yeah.

00:05:42.940 Wow.

00:05:43.440 They come bring you a new pair of shoes and you're like, dude, I might as well walk out

00:05:46.300 of here with a fresh haircut and fresh shoes.

00:05:48.300 Yeah.

00:05:48.840 Double businesses are a good idea.

00:05:50.980 I didn't think about that.

00:05:51.940 It's time for it.

00:05:52.580 It is.

00:05:53.280 It's time.

00:05:53.980 Dog grooming and maybe sporting goods or whatever.

00:05:58.740 There you go.

00:05:59.280 Or jujitsu.

00:06:00.720 Oh yeah.

00:06:01.360 You just tussle a little bit while your dog's getting.

00:06:05.200 Do you do jujitsu?

00:06:06.400 I don't do it anymore, man.

00:06:07.520 Did you do it for a while?

00:06:08.300 Yeah.

00:06:08.420 I'll go back and do it once I'm done touring.

00:06:11.340 I just kept getting hurt.

00:06:12.640 That's the problem with it. 0.99

00:06:13.960 It's like, I did it for a while and it's just like, yeah, your back gets fucked up and 0.98

00:06:16.920 you're like, then at the end of it too, it's like, I could just get a gun. 0.99

00:06:20.660 Yeah.

00:06:20.980 Like, you know, it's like, you could just defend yourself.

00:06:23.900 Yeah.

00:06:24.220 Yeah.

00:06:24.360 You could.

00:06:24.880 I mean, that's the new jujitsu, a gun, I guess.

00:06:27.180 Yeah.

00:06:27.420 But it's like, I wonder, you know, sometimes I wonder like if,

00:06:31.360 if I guess if I had a superpower, maybe it would be, I'd want to do jujitsu.

00:06:37.140 I'd want to know every jujitsu.

00:06:39.060 Be nasty at it. 0.99

00:06:39.940 I mean, just fucking gift wrap a dude. 0.99

00:06:42.400 True. 0.99

00:06:42.760 It's a lot better too.

00:06:43.640 If you're at like a restaurant to like choke a guy out in front of everyone and just like 0.99

00:06:47.080 shoot him in the face. 0.99

00:06:48.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:48.820 No one's going to be like, dude, nice.

00:06:49.960 That was awesome.

00:06:50.900 Yeah.

00:06:51.280 And it's a mess.

00:06:52.080 You got to clean up, get a weight around.

00:06:53.580 Yeah. 0.97

00:06:54.180 Just spray somebody's brains everywhere. 0.88

00:06:55.680 People are going to be like, dude, that was kind of aggressive. 0.96

00:06:57.640 That was kind of aggro.

00:06:58.980 People are like, God, God, Carl.

00:07:02.940 Yeah, bro.

00:07:03.520 That'd be a good superpower.

00:07:04.420 I think to be just know everything.

00:07:06.540 It was just, it was in you.

00:07:07.800 Yeah.

00:07:08.120 What would you have?

00:07:08.760 You think if you had a superpower, you think?

00:07:10.240 Fly.

00:07:11.040 Really?

00:07:11.520 Yeah, I'd fly.

00:07:12.320 That'd be awesome.

00:07:13.380 Would it though?

00:07:13.820 Think of how, dude, have you even stuck your head out of a window when you're going super

00:07:16.520 fast?

00:07:16.980 Yeah.

00:07:17.260 I'd be chill about it.

00:07:19.180 Dude, imagine if I floated into this room and sat in the chair.

00:07:22.360 Yeah.

00:07:22.520 Dude, those things are tough, dude.

00:07:24.100 Are they?

00:07:24.480 I was struggling earlier.

00:07:26.020 You got to use your shirt.

00:07:27.840 You got to.

00:07:28.520 I'm so happy I didn't do that on camera.

00:07:30.800 You got to use your shirt.

00:07:31.900 I was in there, dude, struggling.

00:07:34.560 Hold on, dude.

00:07:35.240 Stop, bro.

00:07:35.960 That water's not for weaklings, dude.

00:07:39.060 This thing's broken, huh?

00:07:40.320 Dude, it's crazy. 0.97

00:07:41.740 I had to put it on my shirt and just fucking wrench it. 0.97

00:07:44.600 God, that would be my superpower, I think, to be able to get in here. 0.98

00:07:48.800 No, I think my superpower.

00:07:50.060 Hold on a second.

00:07:51.000 I do need to take a second.

00:07:53.040 You got that.

00:07:53.840 Hold on.

00:07:54.340 That's a dangerous angle to open water, dude.

00:07:57.560 Ooh.

00:07:58.960 Dude, that angle might have helped, bro.

00:08:00.800 True.

00:08:01.160 A lot of when you lock your hips in, dude.

00:08:03.360 Very arm bar.

00:08:04.520 True.

00:08:05.140 Jiu-jitsu.

00:08:06.560 But yeah, my superpower.

00:08:08.500 I think mine would be if you went into the bathroom, not being able to know if somebody

00:08:12.400 had pooped in there recently.

00:08:14.720 That would be nice.

00:08:16.040 Be able to find it.

00:08:16.740 It was like when, you know, when you take a dump, it doesn't smell.

00:08:19.160 If you had that for everybody.

00:08:20.360 But it's like the second you walk into a bathroom, you can tell if somebody's dumped recently,

00:08:24.340 if somebody with perfume did dump. 0.96

00:08:26.360 Oh, you want to know if they dumped or not know?

00:08:28.100 I don't want to not know.

00:08:29.280 Yeah, I don't want to know anything.

00:08:30.020 So that'd be my superpower to not have, not have, because you can't trick your mind to

00:08:34.820 not know, you know?

00:08:35.740 True.

00:08:35.880 But if the seat's warm, you're going to be like, oh, that's the worst.

00:08:39.320 And you sit down at like an airport bathroom and the seat's 98.6 degrees. 0.99

00:08:42.760 And you're like, fuck, dude, dude. 0.99

00:08:44.920 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:45.680 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:08:46.600 Bro. 1.00

00:08:46.760 And some people do dumps right onto, they won't even flush the toilet at an airport

00:08:51.380 or whatever.

00:08:52.000 I know.

00:08:52.280 They'll do dumps right on the pee. 1.00

00:08:53.780 Oh, yeah.

00:08:54.140 I actually, I've come around. 0.99

00:08:55.400 I shit on planes now. 0.99

00:08:56.820 Uh-uh. 1.00

00:08:57.440 No, you have to, because otherwise you're going to fart like a coward and stink the whole 0.99

00:09:00.580 plane up. 0.98

00:09:01.440 So now I do the valiant thing.

00:09:02.940 I walk by everyone.

00:09:04.400 I sit down there for like 15 minutes and they all know what I did.

00:09:08.560 Do you take a newspaper with me?

00:09:09.920 I will take my book.

00:09:12.000 If I'm reading a book, I'll take a book with me.

00:09:14.000 And I'll just, I'm trying to get this.

00:09:15.620 They got to really just get rid of the stigma because it's like, dude, otherwise you're just

00:09:18.660 going to fart silently and just ruin the whole flight. 0.80

00:09:21.720 Yeah.

00:09:22.060 Which I also do sometimes, but it's like, I now I'm like, no, this is, this is juvenile. 0.99

00:09:25.940 I got to go like a man and shit on this plane. 0.99

00:09:28.360 I'll be back in a little bit. 1.00

00:09:29.360 Just right next from the stewardess.

00:09:30.400 Yeah.

00:09:30.520 I'll be back.

00:09:31.300 Do you tell, yeah, that's crazy.

00:09:32.840 If you tell the person next to you, like, I'll be back in a little bit.

00:09:35.900 Hold my calls.

00:09:36.760 If you say that. 0.94

00:09:38.140 Like, yo, man, I've been farting my ass off. 1.00

00:09:39.900 I'm going to go take a shit now. 0.99

00:09:40.840 Just so, you know, I don't want to cause you any more grief. 0.99

00:09:43.720 But yeah, dude, everyone thinks I'm crazy for shitting on planes, but it's like, it's the 0.97

00:09:46.620 righteous move. 0.98

00:09:47.820 Yeah.

00:09:47.980 I never thought it like, I don't know, liberating, it's liberating once you're like, I don't

00:09:52.220 need to hold this.

00:09:52.820 I got to get, this is totally normal.

00:09:54.620 Yeah.

00:09:54.880 Natural. 1.00

00:09:55.260 Like everyone has to take a shit right now. 1.00

00:09:56.600 What's crazy to me is talking to somebody and trying to guess if they have like poop 1.00

00:09:59.840 in their body at that minute or not.

00:10:02.420 It makes me so feel uncomfortable.

00:10:04.060 It's like, just tell me.

00:10:05.080 Yeah.

00:10:05.360 True.

00:10:05.960 You know, if somebody, are you, can you, like, I know some people who can't hold it in

00:10:09.280 at all.

00:10:09.820 I can hold it in.

00:10:11.220 I can hold it in for like a disturbingly long period of time.

00:10:13.540 But now I'm like, why would I do that?

00:10:14.960 Well, some people poop every day.

00:10:16.360 I do.

00:10:16.680 You don't poop every day.

00:10:18.180 No way.

00:10:18.800 You do multiple.

00:10:20.460 I definitely want multiple times twice.

00:10:23.000 Yeah, definitely.

00:10:23.640 Oh my gosh.

00:10:25.000 You don't poop every day.

00:10:25.920 Huh?

00:10:26.540 Do you sleep outdoors on a farm?

00:10:30.560 You poop multiple times a day.

00:10:32.860 Sometimes.

00:10:33.560 Definitely once.

00:10:34.120 When your owner gets home.

00:10:35.920 That's crazy.

00:10:37.620 Definitely once.

00:10:38.860 Sometimes twice.

00:10:39.780 Oh my God.

00:10:40.360 How much do you normal people?

00:10:42.320 It's three times a day, three times a week.

00:10:44.300 That's what I do.

00:10:44.740 Three times a week.

00:10:45.500 Okay.

00:10:45.760 It's three times a day, two, three times a week.

00:10:48.620 Wait, so how?

00:10:49.440 So we're both in, I guess, the range.

00:10:51.020 I didn't know people were doing it multiple.

00:10:52.460 That's crazy. 1.00

00:10:53.780 Fucking. 1.00

00:10:54.340 What are you doing? 1.00

00:10:55.160 You're wasting.

00:10:55.800 How much of your life? 0.96

00:10:56.500 How long does it take to even do a poop on average?

00:10:58.480 Uh, it depends if I'm really, if I'm like on my phone, I can, you know, I could sit there

00:11:03.500 literally forever, but 12, I mean, come on, man.

00:11:06.640 12 seconds.

00:11:07.260 On average, a bowel movement takes about 12 seconds.

00:11:10.580 That's on board.

00:11:11.100 I'm going to, I'm going to show my wife that next time she's on the seat and be like, bro,

00:11:13.960 you got 12 seconds. 1.00

00:11:15.160 Get the fuck back in there with these kids, dude. 1.00

00:11:17.020 No shit breaks. 1.00

00:11:17.640 Oh my God. 0.99

00:11:18.580 So it's more of a rodeo than it is really like a relaxing thing.

00:11:21.840 I guess I, who made it, who made poops relaxing?

00:11:24.960 Somebody hit him with the max.

00:11:26.980 Oh, maximum 10 to 15 minutes.

00:11:31.520 12 seconds is crazy, dude.

00:11:34.280 12 seconds is crazy.

00:11:35.840 Who could even do 12 seconds?

00:11:37.940 Oh, that guy that, um, who's that bull rider? 1.00

00:11:41.040 Damn. 0.99

00:11:41.480 Look, they say it's relaxing because it stimulates the vagal nerve. 1.00

00:11:44.160 You got, if you ride a bull, you could probably poop very fast.

00:11:48.540 There you go.

00:11:50.260 JB Mawney right there.

00:11:52.340 JB Money, what do they say it?

00:11:54.180 Mawney.

00:11:54.640 Mooney.

00:11:55.380 I don't know.

00:11:56.240 What's his deal?

00:11:56.880 He's like the number one bull rider.

00:11:58.460 Yeah, he passed away though.

00:11:59.740 Did he really?

00:12:00.220 No, he's not dead.

00:12:00.660 Yeah.

00:12:01.060 What'd he die from?

00:12:02.280 Oh, I'm not sure.

00:12:03.860 Yo, what's, is he, is he, uh.

00:12:06.020 Oh, nevermind.

00:12:06.700 He's on Instagram.

00:12:07.420 He's good.

00:12:07.840 Okay, he's not dead.

00:12:08.620 Yeah, my bad.

00:12:09.160 He was sitting on another cowboy's lap.

00:12:10.760 If I'm not, I don't care at all.

00:12:12.380 He's a bull rider.

00:12:13.020 He'll do whatever he wants, but. 0.99

00:12:14.520 Look, after you've ridden a bull, I think being gay is easy. 0.98

00:12:18.200 True. 0.98

00:12:18.720 True.

00:12:21.280 That is true.

00:12:22.440 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:22.700 After you've ridden a bull, being gay has got to be like, that's child for children. 1.00

00:12:27.140 You know? 0.99

00:12:27.600 Eat a piece of cake.

00:12:28.360 That is true. 1.00

00:12:29.100 Being gay after a bull riding, gay sex, just staying on the back of a dude. 1.00

00:12:33.040 You couldn't get that guy off. 1.00

00:12:34.800 You'd be trying to buck him off you.

00:12:36.600 He'd be no problem.

00:12:38.180 God.

00:12:38.580 He'd be spinning around on you.

00:12:39.740 He'd be like, dude, get off.

00:12:40.720 Yeah.

00:12:41.300 He'd be eating funnel cakes. 1.00

00:12:42.320 He's just fucking, he's guessing your weight while you're fucking. 1.00

00:12:47.160 Step right up. 1.00

00:12:48.400 That's crazy, though.

00:12:49.380 So you were, yeah, I usually, I, you will usually poop two, three times a week.

00:12:57.220 Monday, Wednesday, Friday, usually.

00:12:58.220 I was about to say your Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

00:13:00.240 Yeah, I'm, I'm every day, bro.

00:13:01.400 I'm every day.

00:13:01.980 Weekends, too?

00:13:02.540 If I miss, for sure.

00:13:04.140 That's when I really chill.

00:13:05.280 But if it's like.

00:13:06.480 Yeah.

00:13:06.960 It's your weekend. 1.00

00:13:08.080 Your shit. 1.00

00:13:09.100 Definitely, dude. 1.00

00:13:09.720 Oh, my God, bro.

00:13:10.360 I look for, it's such a, like a relax. 0.99

00:13:12.280 The one thing I will say, have you ever shit while you're really stoned? 0.99

00:13:19.020 That's uncomfortable. 0.99

00:13:20.060 I've done that before.

00:13:20.820 Like, I've taken like a strong weed edible and like, you have to take a dump in the middle

00:13:23.960 of it.

00:13:24.280 And it's just like, it's the worst.

00:13:26.280 I think it's the worst part of it.

00:13:27.460 Oh, that seems crazy. 0.90

00:13:28.640 It's very wretched.

00:13:29.780 Yeah.

00:13:29.940 You get like very much like, kind of like, you know, you feel like an animal and you're

00:13:33.200 like, what am I doing?

00:13:34.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:34.960 Just taking a gross shit and you're high. 1.00

00:13:36.460 It's not good. 1.00

00:13:37.360 That makes me sad.

00:13:38.360 Yeah, it is.

00:13:38.860 It literally just makes you sad.

00:13:40.320 You're like high.

00:13:40.880 You think everything's cool. 1.00

00:13:41.740 Then you take disgusting shit. 1.00

00:13:43.340 Well, imagine, yeah, say if you, some people used to get their pets high or whatever, 1.00

00:13:46.560 you know, and then watching your dog, like my buddy's, it would get his dog high, I guess.

00:13:51.380 I think this is when it was legal or something.

00:13:53.140 Yeah.

00:13:53.360 And he would get it high and then it would start to poop and it would fall over.

00:13:56.760 It would just, it couldn't even. 0.98

00:13:59.020 It fucks their legs up. 0.99

00:14:00.140 Yeah. 0.70

00:14:00.240 When dogs eat weed, it fucks their legs up.

00:14:02.500 If they eat mushrooms, they're sharp as tacks.

00:14:04.920 Really?

00:14:05.420 Yeah.

00:14:06.260 Inadvertently, my dog ate a little bit of mushrooms one time.

00:14:09.280 No problem.

00:14:09.980 Wow.

00:14:10.520 In Austin?

00:14:11.360 No, this was back in Philly.

00:14:12.260 He ate a little bit of weed one time and he was, he couldn't walk.

00:14:16.480 Yeah.

00:14:16.720 I just had to hold him and just, you know, we spent like, we just like watched a movie.

00:14:19.600 I watched a movie and just held him.

00:14:21.220 Oh, that's cool.

00:14:21.780 Weed is not good for dogs.

00:14:23.000 Mushrooms, I would argue.

00:14:25.040 Yeah.

00:14:25.480 He was chilling.

00:14:26.260 And it would be great to see if dogs started using shrooms or whatever, just to see how

00:14:29.940 they kind of started to put new things together.

00:14:31.820 That would be pretty fascinating.

00:14:33.460 Dude, I will say he was kind of more well-behaved.

00:14:36.500 I could just be me, but he like never listened and he inadvert, it was like an accident.

00:14:40.140 And I had like, I made like, put something in like a little teabag and I threw it in the

00:14:44.060 trash and he just ate the teabag.

00:14:45.220 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:45.560 I was like, shit. 1.00

00:14:46.560 And he, I just let him outside and he just zoomed around and went back in. 1.00

00:14:49.160 I was like, all right.

00:14:49.880 That's pretty cool.

00:14:50.520 How, how do dogs do on mushrooms?

00:14:52.220 Can we bring that up?

00:14:53.000 Actually?

00:14:53.900 I can't believe this isn't a huge study or something.

00:14:56.640 We did.

00:14:57.240 They get into edibles all the time.

00:14:58.720 And that is like for real a problem.

00:15:00.600 Yeah.

00:15:00.700 There's always that stone kid in your high school. 0.99

00:15:02.360 We use that laser and he's like, yeah, yeah.

00:15:04.600 Yeah.

00:15:04.940 It's really, once you're like, yeah, it's okay.

00:15:07.560 That's toxic.

00:15:09.740 Funny doggy psychoactive shrooms.

00:15:11.820 There you go.

00:15:12.820 Oh, this guy looks like he's struggling.

00:15:14.100 Dude, this guy looks like he's not having a good time.

00:15:16.880 Whoa, bro.

00:15:18.260 He might've done a heroic dose. 1.00

00:15:20.000 This little mixed fella's fucking, wow, bro. 1.00

00:15:23.360 Dude, that's like your marriage, dude. 1.00

00:15:24.660 That's awesome, dude.

00:15:27.400 Shortly after this, I rushed him to the vet.

00:15:30.140 Oh, my God.

00:15:30.920 What was going on with Roxy had found wild shrooms growing. 1.00

00:15:33.520 This guy's such a liar. 0.99

00:15:34.420 No, they didn't. 0.99

00:15:35.260 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:37.120 How the fuck did the vet realize that? 1.00

00:15:41.320 There he goes. 1.00

00:15:42.620 Wow, bro.

00:15:44.000 Oh, no.

00:15:45.580 Super attentive.

00:15:47.900 See, my dog was, my dog might have microdosed though.

00:15:50.160 So maybe it was just more kind of chilling.

00:15:52.280 This person filming him, that's so wicked.

00:15:55.440 She didn't seem afraid.

00:15:56.720 Wow.

00:15:56.920 She didn't seem afraid of fact the opposite.

00:15:58.620 She seemed to be enjoying the experience.

00:16:00.440 All right.

00:16:01.620 I mean, maybe so.

00:16:04.140 But this kind of shows you if humans start, like some people say that there's the stoned

00:16:08.220 ape theory or whatever, you know, that if that humans ate, that apes ate mushrooms and

00:16:12.520 that's how we eventually evolved.

00:16:14.780 You could start to see it with this dog.

00:16:16.820 Like, yeah.

00:16:17.580 He's on, this dog is on to something.

00:16:19.340 Yeah.

00:16:19.920 Yeah.

00:16:20.160 Dude, I think there is something to that though, the stoned ape theory.

00:16:22.720 I don't think it's that crazy because our brain size, like, I don't know if it like

00:16:26.340 doubled.

00:16:27.140 It like grew very quickly out of nowhere.

00:16:29.480 Did it really?

00:16:30.000 Yeah.

00:16:30.760 Back in like the day, our brains were like small and then out of nowhere, they were just

00:16:34.060 pshh.

00:16:34.500 And they fattened in it.

00:16:36.440 They don't know why it happened.

00:16:37.880 Really?

00:16:38.140 No idea. 1.00

00:16:38.520 I guess they looked at like skull sizes and they're like, damn. 0.99

00:16:40.220 Let's see it. 0.99

00:16:42.060 Yeah.

00:16:42.360 Something happened where our brains just went nuts.

00:16:44.240 According to current understanding, the human brain roughly doubled in size over a period

00:16:48.600 of around 2 million years.

00:16:50.060 There we go.

00:16:50.640 With the most rapid expansion happening between 800,000 and 200,000 years ago, marking a significant

00:16:55.020 brain boom.

00:16:57.200 I think dogs have been around forever.

00:16:58.940 Are their brains growing too?

00:17:00.580 Or like?

00:17:00.920 It's a great question.

00:17:02.500 Have dogs' brains evolved?

00:17:05.880 Human brains have tripled in size since the beginning of the human family tree, which dates

00:17:09.680 back around 7 million years ago.

00:17:11.740 Wow.

00:17:11.960 So our brains are getting bigger.

00:17:13.640 See, this for me ties straight into like believing.

00:17:16.360 If you look at an alien, right?

00:17:17.520 Your usual picture of an alien.

00:17:18.740 It's this body that has no definition.

00:17:21.020 Yep.

00:17:21.460 Huge head.

00:17:22.500 Exactly.

00:17:23.120 It's like, that's all.

00:17:24.200 Eventually, that's what we'll turn into.

00:17:25.400 We are.

00:17:26.040 It's like this.

00:17:26.900 You don't need to use any muscle.

00:17:28.560 Everything's there.

00:17:29.440 Just machinery.

00:17:29.840 It comes into your body through a tube, leaves out.

00:17:32.820 You don't have to poop three times a week or a day and on weekends.

00:17:37.380 They're probably pretty regular though.

00:17:39.780 Aliens?

00:17:40.360 No, you definitely not. 1.00

00:17:41.380 That's like, you know, sloths shit like once a month. 0.99

00:17:44.640 No way. 1.00

00:17:45.340 They come down from the tree and they just shit every 30 days like an enormous pile of 1.00

00:17:49.060 shit. 1.00

00:17:49.820 Must take an hour. 1.00

00:17:50.680 Bring it up.

00:17:51.360 Takes a while.

00:17:52.440 It's pretty funny.

00:17:53.260 They come down real slow.

00:17:56.120 Once a week.

00:17:56.800 My bad.

00:17:57.180 My bad.

00:17:57.820 So let's use YouTube once a week.

00:17:59.340 Now that makes sense.

00:18:00.500 Daily.

00:18:00.980 Women sloths daily when they're in heat. 1.00

00:18:02.700 I must be in heat then.

00:18:04.720 That's probably why I'm dumping all the time. 0.97

00:18:05.820 I'm so damn horny. 0.58

00:18:07.280 I wonder if there's a, if there's like, yeah, I wonder if there's, if your body wants to 0.99

00:18:15.980 have poop in it or doesn't.

00:18:17.380 Probably doesn't.

00:18:18.000 Doesn't.

00:18:18.280 Yeah.

00:18:18.440 I would say not.

00:18:19.140 I would say it doesn't.

00:18:20.060 It's, I mean, it's, you feel so much better.

00:18:22.420 When you don't have it in you.

00:18:23.380 How does it feel?

00:18:24.180 Well, so the fact that you do that every couple of days, is that kind of like beating

00:18:27.660 off where it feels great?

00:18:29.140 Like if you hold it in for three days?

00:18:30.820 Well, it definitely feels more of like an organized crime, you know?

00:18:34.060 Really?

00:18:34.820 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:35.100 It's like more, it's just not, you're not just fucking showing up. 0.96

00:18:38.820 It's not like it's a, like just spraying bullets in the air, you know? 1.00

00:18:42.340 It feels like you just got that fucking John Wilkes poop, you know, you fucking rolled 1.00

00:18:47.100 up with one fucking purpose. 1.00

00:18:49.320 So it's just like, you'll bam, very organized, very Japanese almost. 0.99

00:18:53.500 Really?

00:18:54.660 Yeah.

00:18:55.060 You feel it coming.

00:18:55.760 You're like, I knew this moment.

00:18:56.640 Yes. 1.00

00:18:57.080 It's fucking, yeah. 1.00

00:18:58.060 It's like you paid extra for the wrapping. 0.99

00:18:59.720 It's like, it's just very, it feels like how it's supposed to happen. 0.99

00:19:03.580 Not somebody, the second they get a bullet in the gun, they just fucking do it. 0.93

00:19:06.660 Not like as soon as you wake up every day. 0.99

00:19:08.500 Yeah.

00:19:08.640 They just spray it at the neighbors. 0.99

00:19:11.120 I will say waking up in the middle of the night and having to shit is upsetting. 0.99

00:19:15.100 Oh. 0.99

00:19:15.780 Because then you're in total darkness and then you have to like turn on the light.

00:19:20.180 Yeah.

00:19:20.300 That's terrible.

00:19:20.800 And wouldn't make, because all you have to do is go back to sleep.

00:19:24.160 You do not have to.

00:19:25.860 Yeah.

00:19:26.340 Nothing in the world is saying, hey, poop now, save yourself some time or whatever.

00:19:30.840 Like you can just. 0.99

00:19:33.320 You're saying it's like a life hack to shit in the middle of the night. 0.99

00:19:36.520 That's what some people think, dude. 0.99

00:19:37.960 It's like, they think it's a life hack.

00:19:40.400 I'm like, what?

00:19:41.260 It is not a life hack.

00:19:42.400 Well, I've tried to ignore it, but it's like, you know, you can ignore it.

00:19:44.620 You can like wake up and you're like, oh, I kind of got to pee.

00:19:46.160 But you're like, I'm good. 1.00

00:19:47.380 Then you wake up and like your side fucking hurts and you're like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:19:50.620 But if you try to hold in and dump and go to sleep, it's like, you just got to get out 0.99

00:19:54.480 of bed.

00:19:55.640 Well, but the crazy thing is sometimes you'll get up.

00:19:57.100 So then you'll see you sit down.

00:19:58.580 Right.

00:19:59.020 You sit down.

00:20:00.360 And then the problem is you start to doze off.

00:20:02.720 Right.

00:20:03.180 That's the worst.

00:20:03.980 That's how Elvis died.

00:20:05.260 Yeah.

00:20:05.660 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:05.840 He just dozed off while shitting. 0.99

00:20:07.040 He died. 0.99

00:20:07.800 Well, doze and often dying are different.

00:20:09.720 Yeah.

00:20:09.820 He overdosed. 1.00

00:20:12.040 It's dangerous when you shit while you're sleepy. 1.00

00:20:13.780 Damn. 1.00

00:20:13.980 Elvis is so tired. 1.00

00:20:15.580 He ain't coming back.

00:20:17.620 Yeah.

00:20:17.960 It is. 0.99

00:20:18.500 It's just sucks. 0.97

00:20:19.380 You like, especially when you turn the lights on from pitch blackness, you just like, you 1.00

00:20:22.200 see like the veins in your thighs and shit. 1.00

00:20:23.840 And you're just very sad. 1.00

00:20:24.860 Yeah. 0.93

00:20:25.000 It's disgusting. 0.63

00:20:26.180 It's very sad. 0.87

00:20:27.020 And then here's the worst thing that can happen to you.

00:20:29.340 You know, there's a video of a guy like his house caught on fire or something.

00:20:32.300 He was on the, he was on the toilet.

00:20:35.840 And then his, but his leg, but his legs had fallen asleep.

00:20:39.000 And so then he tries to run out and he can't.

00:20:41.220 No.

00:20:41.480 Yeah.

00:20:41.840 Just.

00:20:42.280 Are you serious?

00:20:42.880 That, that happens a lot.

00:20:43.860 If you're sitting there for a long time, your legs will fall asleep.

00:20:45.700 Yeah.

00:20:46.020 That, that is a problem.

00:20:47.200 Yeah.

00:20:47.360 I've really, I got a nasty hemorrhoid one time.

00:20:49.600 I'm sorry.

00:20:50.240 The subject matter.

00:20:51.260 Yeah.

00:20:51.280 There's a, we never, yeah.

00:20:52.540 We, we don't talk about this kind of stuff much.

00:20:54.280 So I think it's okay.

00:20:55.380 We should talk about it more.

00:20:56.320 Cause people should be okay talking about it.

00:20:58.600 It's not crazy.

00:20:59.340 Yeah.

00:20:59.520 It happens all the time.

00:21:00.180 This is actually important.

00:21:01.080 I thought you could just sit on the toilet forever and just like scroll your phone and

00:21:03.840 kind of like hide from your family.

00:21:05.080 But I got a hemorrhoid and dude, that I looked it up.

00:21:08.680 And like, if you sit there for too long, cause I like to read and stuff on the toilet.

00:21:11.640 Now that's why I'm all business.

00:21:12.800 I'm in and out. 0.99

00:21:13.360 Cause like, dude, those things suck. 0.98

00:21:14.520 Okay. 0.99

00:21:14.880 And they come from sitting there too long.

00:21:16.620 Well, yeah, your body, it's crazy. 0.99

00:21:17.740 Cause your body literally wants to get out of your ass, which is like, it's, it's like, 0.99

00:21:22.960 you would think your body's happy, like the insides of you, but they're like, nah, 0.99

00:21:27.080 no, dude, it's nonstop.

00:21:28.720 Come.

00:21:29.000 They're just peeking around the corner.

00:21:30.220 Yeah.

00:21:30.740 Your body never gets a break.

00:21:31.980 You sleep.

00:21:32.560 Thank God.

00:21:32.960 But your cells are still moving. 0.99

00:21:34.180 They brain, you know, it never gets a fucking true rest. 0.99

00:21:36.800 That's true, man. 1.00

00:21:37.780 It's kind of bullshit. 1.00

00:21:39.220 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:21:39.680 I, I, I couldn't believe.

00:21:43.260 Yeah.

00:21:43.700 I guess I just, I guess I just, I can't believe how much some people do.

00:21:47.580 Cause to me, pooping feels like you have to earn it.

00:21:51.360 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:51.740 You know, if you're just, if somebody just, you know, yeah, I'll go shit or whatever. 0.99

00:21:56.820 I got some time to kill. 0.99

00:21:57.820 It's crazy to me, dude. 0.62

00:22:00.660 That is true.

00:22:01.900 You got to wait till I stay there.

00:22:03.180 You know, no, you're absolutely right.

00:22:05.620 Franz Ferdinand or whatever.

00:22:06.980 Are you like the Prince of Royals or whatever?

00:22:10.280 Like, what are you even?

00:22:12.260 I used to be able to pee.

00:22:14.300 I think I can still do it.

00:22:15.180 I can pee at any time.

00:22:16.580 I can make myself pee.

00:22:18.480 At any point.

00:22:19.280 Any point.

00:22:19.880 I can get pee out.

00:22:20.520 It's weird. 0.95

00:22:21.480 So somebody runs up, gun to the head, pee now.

00:22:23.920 Dude, I literally, I, so when I was little, I was like down the beach with like my cousins

00:22:28.140 and stuff.

00:22:28.880 And we were like out of bed.

00:22:30.020 We were like real little. 0.99

00:22:30.700 We're fucking around. 0.99

00:22:31.540 We're supposed to be in bed. 0.99

00:22:32.280 We were just running around.

00:22:33.400 And my uncle came down.

00:22:34.480 He's like, I told you guys to go to bed.

00:22:35.640 And I was like, oh, I got to pee.

00:22:36.820 And I didn't have to pee.

00:22:37.940 He's like, prove it. 1.00

00:22:39.540 And he made me and my cousin fucking pee. 1.00

00:22:42.800 And I fucking was just like, we'll see. 1.00

00:22:45.200 And I just peed. 0.99

00:22:46.060 And ever since, I'd just known how to do it.

00:22:47.860 It was like, you know.

00:22:49.100 That's your superpower.

00:22:50.120 It is my superpower.

00:22:51.220 I can pee at any time.

00:22:52.560 That's awesome. 0.99

00:22:53.200 And my, it was like, dude, my uncle was like, it was like a fucking like a probation officer. 0.98

00:22:56.640 He's like, go ahead and pee. 0.98

00:22:57.500 And I had to like put my back to him.

00:22:59.040 And I was like, come on, come on, come on.

00:23:00.440 I was pumped. 0.99

00:23:02.780 Dude, I would always get nervous in the locker room or whatever that my penis wasn't good or whatever. 1.00

00:23:06.840 And because my brother also was an asshole. 1.00

00:23:10.500 He took a marker and write like, not good next to my penis. 1.00

00:23:13.940 And I was like, what an asshole. 1.00

00:23:15.360 And so I was always like super paranoid, you know. 0.99

00:23:17.880 But I would always like try to like shake it against my leg to get it fired up or turn around in the locker room or whatever, you know.

00:23:23.600 Yeah.

00:23:23.880 No, let's do that.

00:23:24.660 That's a real thing, though.

00:23:25.380 If you're at a rest stop, I don't know why. 0.87

00:23:27.540 But when you're peeing, you can kind of like peripherally see other dicks like just out like the very corners of your eye. 0.97

00:23:33.880 And they always look just enormous every single time. 0.95

00:23:37.400 I don't know if you've ever encountered that.

00:23:38.860 Yeah, I don't have.

00:23:39.460 I don't get that.

00:23:41.920 I got a crazy peripheral.

00:23:43.600 Really?

00:23:43.900 And I'm just tormented, dude.

00:23:45.080 I'm peeing.

00:23:45.500 I'm like, oh, my God.

00:23:46.700 There's hogs everywhere, huh? 1.00

00:23:48.060 It's all country.

00:23:49.940 It's just wild hogs. 0.99

00:23:51.180 Razorback fans.

00:23:52.000 It's just wild hogs. 0.99

00:23:53.380 Bill Clinton. 0.99

00:23:54.000 I just always pull my balls up to the urinal. 1.00

00:23:57.480 So if anyone catches me, they're like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:23:59.520 Well, it should be where if you squeeze your balls, that stuff goes into your wiener and makes it bigger. 1.00

00:24:04.080 That's what God should have done. 0.99

00:24:05.420 That would be good design.

00:24:06.320 Absolutely. 0.99

00:24:07.460 Or make your balls square. 1.00

00:24:08.940 Like, I always wanted to stack my balls. 0.99

00:24:10.460 I always wish that they were squared or whatever. 0.99

00:24:14.520 I agree. 1.00

00:24:15.520 When you mean business, you're like, all right, motherfucker. 0.99

00:24:17.320 Stacking them up would be nice. 0.99

00:24:18.440 Yeah.

00:24:18.700 Just roll them.

00:24:19.220 Daddy's stacking in his sack right now. 0.99

00:24:21.860 So he's about to get an ass whooping. 1.00

00:24:23.540 And then I'm going to go, shit, this weekend. 1.00

00:24:25.360 Stack nuts would be decent. 1.00

00:24:26.300 That would be nice. 1.00

00:24:27.180 He's stacking your nuts to take his shit. 1.00

00:24:30.560 Or if your uncle's like, pee right now, you're like, or check this out. 1.00

00:24:33.320 He's like, damn, you stacked your nuts? 0.99

00:24:34.500 Just, you can go and drink a beer with me, dude. 1.00

00:24:36.860 I feel as an architect, didn't he? 1.00

00:24:40.440 God damn. 0.99

00:24:41.000 You know, I've been dealing with it a lot. 1.00

00:24:45.940 I'll say it.

00:24:47.060 It's dehydration.

00:24:49.140 You know, my arms are just, whether I've been flying or you go to work out and then you're

00:24:54.260 on the go and next thing you know, you're feeling chapped or you're just feeling like

00:24:58.980 your body's just made out of just, dang, this baby paper.

00:25:02.440 And it's tough to deal with.

00:25:03.920 That's dehydration.

00:25:05.300 And what I use to help me is liquid IV.

00:25:08.960 It's simple.

00:25:09.620 You just crack open a packet of liquid IV, pour it right into a bottle of water, put the

00:25:14.100 cap back on, shake it up, baby.

00:25:16.860 And dang, daddy's quenched.

00:25:19.120 That's how I do it.

00:25:20.000 One stick plus 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone.

00:25:24.580 And you can feel it when you're drinking it.

00:25:26.200 It feels thick.

00:25:27.020 It feels, um, just, just, just luscious.

00:25:31.980 It feels good when it's going in you stay hydrated through the holidays with liquid IV.

00:25:39.020 Get 20% off your first order of liquid IV.

00:25:42.380 When you go to liquid IV.com and use code Theo at checkout, that's 20% off your

00:25:49.880 first order.

00:25:50.620 When you shop better hydration today using promo code Theo at liquid IV.com.

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00:26:43.340 And he was on the, he was on the bottle a bit, but they, they would ship the shirts and

00:26:48.200 then things evolved and ship station really came to the rescue.

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00:27:20.700 Um, happy anniversary, dude.

00:27:22.900 Thank you, man.

00:27:23.780 You just had a five year anniversary.

00:27:25.020 Yeah.

00:27:25.240 Yeah.

00:27:25.760 Thank you.

00:27:26.180 Did you guys do something special for it or how does that kind of work?

00:27:29.020 Do you feel like you have to, uh, no, I, I don't, but you know, um, I, I, I'm not

00:27:34.520 really like the, I'm not big on milestones and stuff.

00:27:37.620 You know, obviously we like, we did something.

00:27:38.960 I don't know what we did.

00:27:39.680 I think we went to dinner.

00:27:41.040 Um, but no, we didn't really do anything that crazy.

00:27:43.760 10, 10, maybe we'll do something cool, but especially with little kids.

00:27:46.940 It's like, you can't really do, we can't go on like a trip. 0.99

00:27:49.080 We could, but it's like, it's just a pain in the ass. 0.99

00:27:52.180 You're gone for a few days and freaking out. 0.99

00:27:54.280 So yeah, we just chilled, man.

00:27:55.600 You know, we're just five years trying to do five more, you know, that's all it is.

00:28:01.580 Does it feel, did it feel kind of exciting?

00:28:03.380 Did you have a moment for yourself where you were like, wow, it's pretty cool or.

00:28:06.040 Well, to be fair, I originally, I thought we had been together for 10 years total.

00:28:10.560 So I originally was like together 10 years, married for five.

00:28:12.780 And she's like, dude, we've been together for nine years.

00:28:14.120 And I was like, right on, right on.

00:28:15.560 Yeah.

00:28:15.660 So I was kind of stoked. 0.94

00:28:16.540 I was like, damn, it's like the longest relationship I've ever been in. 0.98

00:28:19.300 Yeah. 0.99

00:28:19.580 I was like, that's kind of sick.

00:28:20.420 Remember you telling me that?

00:28:20.980 Yeah, it's cool.

00:28:22.300 Yeah.

00:28:22.500 Five years of marriage is very, that's a big deal now.

00:28:27.000 Oh yeah.

00:28:27.580 There's the five, they claim that the true power struggle lasts for five, the first five

00:28:31.980 years are a giant power struggle where you both try to like, you know, who's, who gets

00:28:36.320 to say this, who gets this.

00:28:37.560 Like there's a million little things you have to like hammer out agreements on.

00:28:40.660 Like how full, like it's, it might be in silly, but it's like, how full should the

00:28:43.400 trash get?

00:28:44.340 Should you put this stuff away?

00:28:45.400 You know, there's just a bunch of stuff.

00:28:46.580 I can only imagine that.

00:28:47.400 And you have a power struggle who gets to say what.

00:28:49.360 And you know, so it's like, I think it's, I think it's kind of real cause it has subsided 1.00

00:28:52.420 a lot in terms of like just bickering over stupid shit. 0.99

00:28:55.480 Do you look forward to seeing your wife when you get home and stuff? 1.00

00:28:58.140 I do.

00:28:58.620 I look forward to, I look forward to seeing her, the kids, especially if they go away.

00:29:01.500 Yeah, dude, there's a, there's a post that's, we were, that's you.

00:29:04.680 Yeah, bro.

00:29:05.200 That's when I was, I was a bad boy back then.

00:29:07.320 Oh my God.

00:29:08.600 That's what that was us now.

00:29:09.720 There you go.

00:29:10.780 Look at that, dude.

00:29:11.620 That's cool.

00:29:12.740 But yeah, the kids, the kids are the big ones, man.

00:29:14.900 They run and give you a big hug, but it's like, it's just nice to have like the central

00:29:18.680 unit every day to go back to.

00:29:20.740 Is there ever moments where the kids favor one or the other and that hurts your feelings?

00:29:24.440 All the time.

00:29:25.060 Oh, bro.

00:29:26.100 All the time.

00:29:26.860 Dude, all the time.

00:29:27.680 That would break my heart.

00:29:29.180 They, when they're really little, they don't want anything to do with the dad for the most

00:29:32.220 part, which is like, all right, I could deal with that.

00:29:34.480 And now they're like, they're rolling with me, but they'll go back and forth between like

00:29:37.940 who they want to put them to bed.

00:29:39.120 And honestly, though, when they're like, we want mommy to put us to bed, I'm like,

00:29:42.240 you know, I'm like, whatever.

00:29:44.120 But I could, they would do that.

00:29:45.560 They would like, they're all about me for a while.

00:29:47.140 And I could see it would like hurt my wife's feelings a lot. 0.94

00:29:49.560 Yeah.

00:29:49.920 But then they always switch back. 1.00

00:29:51.100 Eventually they'll be like, fuck you. 1.00

00:29:52.580 We want mom. 1.00

00:29:53.220 And it's like, if one of us are away, they want the other one.

00:29:55.900 Yeah.

00:29:56.120 It's like the portal in the football or whatever.

00:29:58.600 The what?

00:29:59.020 They're like, I'm hitting the portal.

00:30:00.240 I'm going to mom.

00:30:00.880 Yeah.

00:30:01.180 Yeah.

00:30:01.500 For real.

00:30:02.480 But she's got NIL Lunchables over here. 1.00

00:30:04.320 As long as you're together, I think it's, you know, it's cool.

00:30:06.560 But like the separating man, that's such a nightmare to navigate, it seems like. 1.00

00:30:10.420 Because then it's like, you have two different houses, you know, and I know myself, I'd make

00:30:13.680 my house more fun than hers. 1.00

00:30:15.300 So you can start doing that shit. 1.00

00:30:16.520 And it's just like. 1.00

00:30:16.920 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:30:17.160 I'm getting big speakers and shit. 0.99

00:30:18.740 It'd be so nasty, dude. 0.85

00:30:19.860 But it's also like, yeah, it's just hard.

00:30:22.040 Like, yeah, I think, what is it?

00:30:23.080 Like 40?

00:30:23.740 I think divorce is actually going down, but it's still like 45% of marriages get divorced. 0.84

00:30:30.000 That's crazy.

00:30:30.700 What is it?

00:30:32.740 Yeah.

00:30:33.160 I want.

00:30:34.020 Do you have a key you feel like?

00:30:35.560 Oh, let me see.

00:30:36.040 In the United States, the percentage of marriages that end in divorce varies by the number of

00:30:39.840 times a couple has been married.

00:30:41.500 Interesting.

00:30:42.160 This is my second too.

00:30:43.320 So I'm not, the odds are not in my favor.

00:30:45.760 Wow.

00:30:46.260 So first marriage is 41% of first marriages end in divorce.

00:30:49.260 Second marriage is 60%. 0.97

00:30:50.940 Third marriage is 73%.

00:30:53.500 Yeah.

00:30:54.140 Fourth marriage is just a man. 0.98

00:30:56.260 Yeah.

00:30:58.660 Fourth marriage is 100% of the time end in divorce.

00:31:01.340 Well, yeah, the, uh, yeah, man, it's, you know, what were you asking?

00:31:06.880 If there's any, is there any like secrets?

00:31:08.300 Yeah.

00:31:08.420 Do you have a secret?

00:31:09.000 Like, do you have something that you feel like you've kind of honestly learned or like

00:31:12.940 you've been like this, this helps or this is something that I had to adjust about myself

00:31:18.720 or anything like that?

00:31:19.680 Yeah.

00:31:20.160 I, uh, for me, it's like, I can only speak for myself, but it's like, and I think you

00:31:25.260 could say to other people, but it's like you, as a person, you have massive blind spots as

00:31:29.080 like the stuff you do.

00:31:29.940 That's like not great.

00:31:31.940 And it, it takes a lot when you get input on those things. 1.00

00:31:34.940 It's so easy to be like, fuck you, shut up. 1.00

00:31:38.460 You don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

00:31:40.080 But over time it can almost like give you insight into aspects of yourself that you're like,

00:31:45.120 yeah, I could probably change this a little bit.

00:31:47.700 Or even in like the heat of arguments, I'll hear something she'll say. 0.99

00:31:51.280 And in my head, I'll, before I even have time, I'll be like, fuck that. 1.00

00:31:54.320 That's bullshit. 1.00

00:31:54.900 Then there'll be a part of my brain where like, fuck, that's kind of valid. 1.00

00:31:57.280 But I'll be like, fuck this. 1.00

00:31:58.060 I'm not losing this argument. 0.99

00:31:59.380 So you start to like get better at like being like, you're right. 0.98

00:32:02.620 That was fucked up with me. 0.88

00:32:03.820 And then also like, you have to be like, but this is something, you know? 0.98

00:32:06.420 So it's just like learning how to communicate and in order to communicate, you got to take in

00:32:10.300 a lot of like kind of bad stuff about yourself without like completely just getting

00:32:14.520 floored to level 10, which you don't even realize is happening.

00:32:17.340 Right.

00:32:17.660 If that makes sense.

00:32:18.940 We, I guess you have somebody that you, I guess you were like, okay, I trust my spouse.

00:32:22.800 I care about them.

00:32:24.020 So I'm going to listen to some of their feedback.

00:32:26.620 Yeah.

00:32:27.020 And like, it's one of those, especially if you're, if you're like simultaneously bothering

00:32:30.560 each other, you're programmed to be like, the thing you're doing is worse than the thing

00:32:34.340 you think I'm doing.

00:32:35.240 And you have to like take perspective and be like, all right, that's valid.

00:32:39.320 And it just like, it literally feels like you're moving like an 800 pound stone to just be like,

00:32:43.100 all right, maybe that is something annoying.

00:32:44.920 I do.

00:32:45.460 Maybe that is a personal weakness of my, it's just fucking hard, but you learn how to do. 0.66

00:32:49.320 I think it helps in the long run. 0.71

00:32:50.800 Yeah.

00:32:51.320 But you know, it's just like, dude, there's just so many facets to it.

00:32:55.160 Cause then you have kids and it's like, well, who gets to dictate like the philosophy of

00:32:58.040 the house and the flow of thing? 0.99

00:32:59.180 It's just a fucking lot, dude. 0.99

00:33:00.220 It's just, yeah. 0.99

00:33:00.680 Do you have to have conversations like about that kind of stuff all the time?

00:33:02.640 You have to talk about that kind of stuff all the time.

00:33:04.400 And it's like, how do we, how should we parent?

00:33:06.560 Yeah.

00:33:07.060 Wow.

00:33:07.400 That's cool though.

00:33:07.980 But then you can't do it in front of the kids, but then you're, you, as it's going on,

00:33:10.760 every cell in your body is like, say it now and you have to hold, sit there and wait.

00:33:15.080 And then like, there's never a good time.

00:33:16.820 It's night time.

00:33:17.960 It's like right before bed.

00:33:18.820 Like something that actually bothered me today.

00:33:20.720 It's like, that's not a good time.

00:33:21.960 You can't do it first thing in the morning.

00:33:23.460 And you can't do that thing where you're just in the room, but being loud, but being quiet. 1.00

00:33:27.100 You ever do that shit? 1.00

00:33:28.120 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:33:29.580 Yeah.

00:33:30.260 I'll do, I'm the king of that.

00:33:31.520 Yeah.

00:33:31.760 I'll lay down and just be like, what's the matter?

00:33:34.940 Nothing.

00:33:37.760 Just wait for three days and make, actually what was bothering? 1.00

00:33:40.760 You were fucking just picking your skin off in the garage and fucking drinking PBRs back 1.00

00:33:48.440 there. 1.00

00:33:50.300 God, dude.

00:33:51.240 Yeah.

00:33:51.560 That's so wild.

00:33:52.620 Being loud, but being quiet is the craziest behavior.

00:33:55.680 Oh, it's insane.

00:33:56.420 In the world. 1.00

00:33:56.940 If I see someone else do it, I'm like, what are you fucking crazy? 0.99

00:34:00.420 But I'll definitely be like, and sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it. 0.99

00:34:04.160 I'll get into bed and just be like, I'll hear everybody like, what's the matter?

00:34:06.880 And I'm like, why?

00:34:07.460 She's like, you just sighed heavily.

00:34:09.040 And I'm like, did I?

00:34:10.140 I'm like, I did that.

00:34:11.900 So yeah, it's, uh, it's good.

00:34:13.840 You know what I mean?

00:34:14.240 It's, it's one of those things you don't know.

00:34:15.840 Cause it's like, it's like you hear like, uh, whatchamacallit, like in it, it's not a

00:34:21.240 slam on Matt Reif.

00:34:22.000 He had that special red flags and it's not like that taps into a big thing of like online

00:34:27.060 dating, all the stuff where it's like, if anyone exhibits any sign of weakness, that's

00:34:31.020 a red flag, abandon ship immediately.

00:34:32.660 But everybody has them.

00:34:34.660 And eventually you got, and again, I'm not slamming the Reif man for that.

00:34:37.060 It was just, he's tapping into like, no, that's just popular consciousness of the young online

00:34:41.140 daters.

00:34:42.240 But it's like this, like red flag philosophy is like, everybody has red flags.

00:34:45.900 Exactly.

00:34:46.080 So what are you going to do? 1.00

00:34:46.620 Now you're just, everybody's like, fuck everybody. 1.00

00:34:49.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:49.740 Not everybody's fucking dope as hell, dude. 0.99

00:34:52.020 Everyone's got fucking major issues going on. 0.99

00:34:54.620 You think everybody spuds McKinsey or whatever? 0.99

00:34:56.660 Yeah, dude.

00:34:58.440 It's like, that's, that's the thing where it's like, you have to like, you know, and

00:35:03.180 I, I think couples counseling is a great thing. 0.98

00:35:04.800 A lot of people are like, it's a fucking waste of time. 0.96

00:35:06.360 If you got to do that, it's already over. 0.97

00:35:07.720 And it's like, I think it's great.

00:35:09.600 Cause then it enters a, it's the best thing when you're arguing, it's like, I'm the boss,

00:35:13.360 I'm the boss.

00:35:13.900 And you just clash.

00:35:14.760 You give the authority to another figure.

00:35:17.260 And then it's like, when you do couples counseling, if your wife's right, it gets to like, kind

00:35:22.360 of, instead of like hitting you like a laser beam, it goes to that person.

00:35:25.120 They kind of can relate.

00:35:26.540 It's like the, I don't know how to explain it, but it's like every now and again, another 0.90

00:35:31.160 person with, you know, with like degrees and shit would be like, actually your husband's 0.70

00:35:34.300 right about this. 0.98

00:35:34.980 And you're just like, it's like, he's a starling kind of, it kind of is.

00:35:37.700 Yeah.

00:35:37.960 You get to, it just, I think it's great for people.

00:35:39.840 Yeah.

00:35:40.200 And it's like, it just helps.

00:35:41.340 Cause it's like, you don't want to hear it from the other person.

00:35:44.060 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:35:44.680 Like if like my wife's telling me something, I'm like, I don't want to hear this shit. 0.99

00:35:47.360 If she tells him, then he tells me, I'm like, that is actually a fantastic point. 0.99

00:35:51.080 Yeah. 0.97

00:35:51.420 And I'm not trying to be a dick.

00:35:52.200 Like it just, I mean, people have to, how do you bridge a topic? 0.74

00:35:57.600 Say there's something you want to talk to your wife about.

00:35:59.920 How do you kind of do it?

00:36:01.600 Dude.

00:36:01.920 So I've learned before I would just boil quietly and then like explode.

00:36:06.620 Now what I do, I'll wait. 0.72

00:36:08.100 Just like violent Irish, like the Irish hello. 1.00

00:36:10.780 Exactly. 0.96

00:36:11.140 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:36:13.840 Another fucking thing. 0.99

00:36:14.800 But what I do now, I can freckles of flying across. 1.00

00:36:20.020 There's bouncing off each other.

00:36:21.820 Yeah.

00:36:22.240 The, uh, well, the problem is it's like, all right, here, I have a piece of information.

00:36:25.720 If I relate to this person, they're going to have a big emotional reaction.

00:36:28.480 That's going to get me all upset.

00:36:30.180 So I'll just keep it to myself.

00:36:31.880 And so eventually what I learned to do is be like, I got to tell you something.

00:36:35.700 Then this is actually going, this could potentially get you upset.

00:36:38.760 So like that way they're, they're not caught off guard.

00:36:40.760 They're like, that catches them.

00:36:42.040 And they're like, all right, they have time to prepare themselves.

00:36:44.140 Yeah.

00:36:44.340 And then you hit them with the information rather than this being like, yeah, that really 0.55

00:36:47.920 fucking bothered me the, like three days ago. 0.99

00:36:49.560 And that, you know, they're just like, well, what the fuck is this? 0.99

00:36:51.160 So I, you have to like, for me, it's like, I have to preface the fact that I'm about 0.97

00:36:54.300 to bring up something that could be potentially upsetting.

00:36:56.520 That's kind of a good way to do it.

00:36:57.560 Dude, it works so much.

00:36:58.480 It works so much.

00:36:59.660 Cause then they're not, then they're also not thinking that you also wanted to catch me off guard.

00:37:03.920 So, and that's two things you're doing.

00:37:05.380 Yeah.

00:37:05.600 You're telling them something that's going to upset them and then you're also surprising

00:37:08.680 them.

00:37:09.340 Exactly.

00:37:09.840 And with this, you're like, I don't know.

00:37:12.080 It shows you care to be like, Hey, I don't want to upset you, but I have no other choice

00:37:16.000 than to relay this information to you.

00:37:17.740 So prepare yourself.

00:37:19.600 Now here's the information a thousand percent of the time, or it works like a thousand percent

00:37:23.980 better every time. 0.99

00:37:25.420 Cause it sucks. 0.99

00:37:26.320 Yeah. 0.95

00:37:26.460 You got to share stuff constantly back and forth.

00:37:28.400 That's just like not great.

00:37:30.220 And that's why I think it is long term.

00:37:32.500 It's good to be in longterm relationships.

00:37:34.240 I think, but it's like, everyone's different.

00:37:36.040 That's the other thing.

00:37:36.700 Yeah. 0.98

00:37:37.220 So it could be fucking, you know, maybe some people might not be the thing. 0.96

00:37:41.760 So yes, it's, it's tough, it's tough to figure out. 0.94

00:37:44.680 I mean, I don't know anything.

00:37:48.320 The question then is like, how much flack do you take?

00:37:50.080 Like how much stress do you take before you're supposed to call it quits?

00:37:53.640 There's no real answer on that.

00:37:55.240 Right.

00:37:55.520 Like, yeah.

00:37:55.840 Where do they, yeah.

00:37:56.480 Where, how does that go?

00:37:57.460 Yeah.

00:37:57.640 I'm watching some friends and stuff go through divorces and it's really challenging, but then I'm

00:38:00.760 also watching friends stay together who are trying to just battle it and figure it out

00:38:04.720 because that's what they want the story of their life to be.

00:38:07.220 You know, I think that can be terrible too.

00:38:09.540 Because that can get to the place where you just, I've been in houses where it's like the 0.94

00:38:13.460 parents fucking hate each other. 0.98

00:38:14.820 They don't talk to each other. 1.00

00:38:15.880 That's could be even worse.

00:38:17.340 Honestly.

00:38:17.560 Yeah, dude.

00:38:17.800 We had a dude on our street when I was growing up. 0.99

00:38:19.080 He tried to burn his family down like three fucking times and his wife stayed with him 1.00

00:38:22.440 every time. 0.99

00:38:22.820 I was like, what are you guys doing?

00:38:25.240 Like that's for real.

00:38:26.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:27.440 Like you are a dumb lady. 1.00

00:38:29.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:29.460 He was, and everybody knew, you know, everybody knew how much he didn't like her, you know?

00:38:34.780 I would say, I would say, just try to cook the house.

00:38:38.080 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:38.640 Just fucking a dude, but animals, you know, people, people are animals, you know, raccoons 1.00

00:38:44.020 will eat their young just so another, so they'll go into heat. 1.00

00:38:48.120 So another raccoon will come and have sex with them again. 1.00

00:38:50.220 What? 0.99

00:38:50.800 That's crazy behavior.

00:38:52.380 They'll eat their babies to get piped down. 1.00

00:38:55.340 Yeah.

00:38:55.740 I'm not saying what city this is happening in, but I'm just saying that, yes, dude.

00:39:01.680 So they'll, for real, that's crazy.

00:39:03.500 Because what, just munching your baby puts you in heat?

00:39:06.060 Yep.

00:39:06.380 Male raccoons, also known as boars, can kill a baby raccoon in a practice called infanticide.

00:39:11.100 This can happen for a number of reasons, including sexual dominance.

00:39:14.440 Oh, they'll, oh, they'll kill. 0.99

00:39:15.980 Okay. 0.98

00:39:16.240 So the mom will, wait, the mom won't eat it. 1.00

00:39:18.360 The dad raccoon will kill the baby. 1.00

00:39:19.980 So the mom can't come up with any bullshit excuses. 1.00

00:39:23.360 Not to want to make love. 1.00

00:39:24.440 Yeah.

00:39:24.860 I'll be like, I'm tired. 1.00

00:39:25.940 They'll be like, oh, you think you're fucking, just gobble the babies and be like, we're fucking now. 1.00

00:39:30.660 Wow. 1.00

00:39:31.260 I know you love this shit. 1.00

00:39:32.620 You nasty. 1.00

00:39:33.960 I'm turning this living room into a soup plantation right now. 1.00

00:39:38.320 That's bonkers. 1.00

00:39:39.860 Damn. 1.00

00:39:40.180 They're like romantic novels must be crazy too. 1.00

00:39:42.500 Just a fucking cover of a jacked raccoon with a baby in his mouth. 1.00

00:39:46.500 It's a woman raccoon. 1.00

00:39:47.200 And he's seeing that raccoon that plays dad and he puts that broomstick over him to make

00:39:51.680 it look like it hit him.

00:39:53.340 You haven't?

00:39:54.420 Find that video, bro.

00:39:57.240 Unbelievable.

00:39:57.980 That's crazy.

00:39:58.540 I didn't know that though. 1.00

00:39:59.420 This is the fucking craziest thing I've ever seen in my life. 1.00

00:40:06.420 They're so. 0.99

00:40:07.260 Raccoons are rad, dude.

00:40:08.020 I love raccoons.

00:40:08.760 They're very un.

00:40:12.460 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:12.920 They're like fucking mafia squirrels, dude. 1.00

00:40:15.540 They are serious about this shit. 1.00

00:40:16.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:16.820 Dude, they're a bear family. 0.97

00:40:18.280 He's crazy. 0.98

00:40:19.100 Yeah. 0.67

00:40:19.240 Keep looking forward and find it if you can for me.

00:40:21.040 It's a video.

00:40:22.420 Yeah.

00:40:22.800 That sounds awesome.

00:40:25.620 What else has been happening, man?

00:40:26.880 How's things been?

00:40:28.140 I got this auto ring.

00:40:29.000 So I've been tracking my biometric data.

00:40:31.020 That's been kind of fun.

00:40:32.040 Nuh-uh.

00:40:32.580 Yeah.

00:40:32.760 It does stress to sleep.

00:40:34.180 It's pretty.

00:40:34.460 It's pretty cool.

00:40:35.300 What?

00:40:35.900 Yeah.

00:40:36.100 I've never even seen that.

00:40:37.280 Can you take it off or you can't?

00:40:38.360 Yeah.

00:40:38.480 Take it off.

00:40:38.920 Yeah.

00:40:39.340 Take it.

00:40:39.620 Check it out.

00:40:39.980 So it's just a ring and it brings up the information.

00:40:42.740 So it tracks your sleep.

00:40:43.840 It tracks your stress.

00:40:46.080 Oh, here we go.

00:40:47.540 Dude.

00:40:48.120 Great.

00:40:48.340 Look at this. 1.00

00:40:51.800 What the fuck? 1.00

00:40:53.140 This is a couple minutes long. 1.00

00:40:55.580 Maybe.

00:40:55.980 Let's see.

00:40:56.120 What is that thing?

00:40:58.940 Yo.

00:41:00.140 That's a good guy, dude.

00:41:01.960 It's a flying squirrel.

00:41:07.840 Dude.

00:41:09.580 That's nuts.

00:41:10.780 Wow. 1.00

00:41:12.240 He's got fucking wishes what it happened. 0.99

00:41:14.380 This is somebody you mean on Craigslist for sure. 0.99

00:41:17.380 Dude, we got the guy from Craigslist coming on.

00:41:19.340 What?

00:41:19.880 Craig.

00:41:20.400 Do you really?

00:41:20.960 Yeah.

00:41:21.180 Next week. 0.99

00:41:22.360 What the hell?

00:41:23.180 Pretty excited about that. 0.99

00:41:24.500 Dude, you know how many blowjobs that guy's responsible for? 1.00

00:41:27.700 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:28.040 Like for real.

00:41:28.820 Millions.

00:41:29.600 That's crazy.

00:41:30.620 Free.

00:41:31.480 There's got to be a ton of kids out there that happened because of him.

00:41:34.960 Probably do.

00:41:35.700 Yeah, true.

00:41:36.140 I didn't think about that.

00:41:37.040 Bro, I met a woman once. 0.96

00:41:39.000 We met at a bar, right?

00:41:40.480 Yeah.

00:41:40.660 We met her off of personal encounters or whatever.

00:41:43.580 Met her at a bar.

00:41:44.640 Figured it.

00:41:47.100 I figured that if she wouldn't be.

00:41:50.380 Who knows?

00:41:50.720 I figured she might be a man or whatever, but hopefully she wasn't. 0.92

00:41:54.240 Nice.

00:41:54.820 That was kind of my attitude.

00:41:55.960 And then I go there, bro, smoking hot, bro.

00:42:00.720 What?

00:42:01.420 I'm like, you got to be kidding me. 0.99

00:42:02.760 This lady's going to kill me or whatever. 1.00

00:42:04.100 Drink my blood or whatever. 1.00

00:42:04.900 Yeah.

00:42:05.200 So, going back to my place, she covered anything in my place that had any light closed, all

00:42:12.140 covered the VCR thing, like in no light at all.

00:42:16.100 I do that, by the way.

00:42:17.160 You do? 0.99

00:42:17.740 I don't like fucking lights when I'm sleeping. 1.00

00:42:19.720 I would put like, no, for sex, she did it. 1.00

00:42:21.680 Oh, she did it for sex. 1.00

00:42:22.440 Oh, she didn't want the cam, probably. 1.00

00:42:23.860 You think I'm just going to invite somebody just to fucking sleep at my place, right? 0.92

00:42:27.700 You got to get to know her, dude. 0.99

00:42:29.600 You think I'm going to fucking, bro, meeting somebody and then letting them sleep at your 0.99

00:42:33.480 house really is a crazy practice now. 0.99

00:42:36.500 Dude, it was casual encounters, dude.

00:42:38.140 That's true.

00:42:38.640 That's pretty cash.

00:42:39.260 You're right.

00:42:39.720 You're right.

00:42:40.020 You're right.

00:42:40.440 Why don't I try to make it more than it is?

00:42:43.300 True. 0.56

00:42:44.380 So she covered every source of light and then had sex with you? 1.00

00:42:47.060 Yeah. 0.86

00:42:48.120 What did you think about that?

00:42:49.340 I don't know.

00:42:50.100 It was, I was willing to do it.

00:42:53.480 I knew that, but I didn't know much else after.

00:42:55.480 I just knew it was very interesting.

00:42:57.100 I couldn't tell if she didn't want to see me, if she was scared.

00:42:59.680 Yeah.

00:42:59.800 Maybe she was nervous that there was a camera or something.

00:43:01.520 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:01.760 What's the, if you don't mind me asking, what's that Craigslist pussy like? 1.00

00:43:05.180 I don't remember it that good. 0.99

00:43:06.800 Really?

00:43:07.000 But it was pretty, it was fine, I guess.

00:43:09.320 It was, you know, it was, you know, norm, you know, pretty.

00:43:13.180 Yeah.

00:43:14.240 Yeah.

00:43:14.700 Like normal, but a normal woman. 1.00

00:43:18.600 I'm glad that worked out for you.

00:43:19.860 Every time I've, I've sold a lot of things on Craigslist, just like I've sold cars on Craigslist.

00:43:24.280 I've bought like, I think I bought like a Game Boy Advance for my sister on here for Christmas.

00:43:28.500 Do you ever meet anyone to like buy or sell anything?

00:43:30.840 No, people are getting attacked. 0.97

00:43:32.000 A buddy of mine was buying some walkie talkies or trying to sell some walkie talkies and he got fucking jumped. 0.85

00:43:36.740 Did he really? 0.95

00:43:37.380 Yeah.

00:43:38.120 Dude, everyone I've met from Craigslist, I just assume they die like 10 minutes after we meet.

00:43:42.260 They always like seem like they're on their last leg.

00:43:44.800 Every time I sell someone, I'm like, that guy's definitely dead.

00:43:46.960 As soon as I like, he would buy like a car.

00:43:48.580 I'm like, well, that guy's gone.

00:43:49.860 That guy had a heart attack in the car.

00:43:51.660 Dude, one time on Craigslist, we were like, we had a fireplace.

00:43:55.880 I remember the first time I'd ever had a fireplace.

00:43:57.300 So I was like, we got to use this.

00:43:59.200 Me and my friend were sharing a living room, dude.

00:44:01.480 It's my buddy's apartment.

00:44:02.580 So we had like put beds in the living room and we had a fireplace and they're like, let's make it nice.

00:44:06.640 That's pretty cool.

00:44:07.060 Yeah.

00:44:07.200 It was really exciting.

00:44:08.880 Did you ever tell people that it was your spot, but your boy was just crashing?

00:44:11.720 Yeah.

00:44:12.000 I'd say he's in from the army.

00:44:13.180 That's the only time.

00:44:15.300 Me and my friend shared a bedroom in college.

00:44:17.820 Same thing.

00:44:18.720 I'm like, yeah, I'm like my buddy crashing that top bunk, man.

00:44:21.020 I feel bad for the guy.

00:44:22.260 That's what I would say.

00:44:22.940 He's on the lead from the army.

00:44:23.860 And we even had a fake army bag that was just stuffed with sheets and we put it by the extra bed.

00:44:28.620 That's awesome.

00:44:29.240 Make it look legit.

00:44:30.200 That's awesome.

00:44:30.520 But we, so one day we're like, we need firewood, right?

00:44:35.640 So that's what you have to have.

00:44:37.020 So we look on the thing, free firewood, right?

00:44:40.240 Or something.

00:44:40.620 And it's like 13 miles away.

00:44:41.940 We just moved to LA.

00:44:42.900 It took us an hour and 30 minutes to go get it.

00:44:45.100 It was out like Diamond Bar.

00:44:46.940 And we drive all the way out there.

00:44:48.740 And it's just like somebody had like literally taken like a big shiffer robe or something 0.99

00:44:52.540 and just batted it together with a bat, beating the shit up with an axe. 0.99

00:44:56.920 And so it was just chipped up fucking wood, right? 0.99

00:44:58.800 So it's, we have, we put it in my buddy's fucking hatchback. 0.98

00:45:02.020 Just fill this thing with chips with wood. 0.97

00:45:04.280 Bring it all the way back.

00:45:05.360 Dude, we burned all that wood in like 12 minutes.

00:45:07.880 It was like kindling.

00:45:08.840 Yeah.

00:45:09.140 It was gone.

00:45:10.740 It took like an entire day. 0.96

00:45:12.960 Man, that sucks. 0.97

00:45:14.460 Oh, LA was so hard in the beginning, man. 0.99

00:45:16.900 We bought a refrigerator off Craigslist.

00:45:19.380 Yeah.

00:45:19.720 We get it home.

00:45:21.080 This was on my birthday. 0.99

00:45:22.540 And it wouldn't go in the fuck. 0.98

00:45:24.320 We were literally running against it and trying to push it in, dude. 0.99

00:45:28.500 I remember leaning against it and just fucking crying, bro. 0.92

00:45:31.120 Dude, I had to move myself one time and I was trying to get a box spring up to the second 0.98

00:45:37.260 floor of the bedroom and same thing.

00:45:38.920 It wouldn't fit.

00:45:39.720 And it was, I dropped it, let it fall and just cried on the step.

00:45:42.380 Same thing.

00:45:42.680 It's so frustrating, dude.

00:45:43.980 Lest we forget.

00:45:44.960 Dude, just moving and not being able to fit something.

00:45:47.400 It's like, where am I going to get another box spring from?

00:45:49.720 Yeah.

00:45:49.960 I just pissed off.

00:45:50.940 I'm carrying this thing by myself. 1.00

00:45:52.540 And it's just, you just go and you're like, dude, fuck. 1.00

00:45:56.220 And life just wins and you just can't do it anymore. 1.00

00:45:59.000 Yeah.

00:45:59.900 God.

00:46:00.360 I never got a box spring either.

00:46:01.480 That was just it.

00:46:02.220 I just put a mattress down.

00:46:03.260 I was like, thought I could have a box spring and be a normal guy.

00:46:05.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:05.960 No, it sucks.

00:46:06.620 Dude, my buddy, I used to sleep under his bed for a while and he would have girls come 1.00

00:46:12.260 over and they'd always go to the restroom or something before they were going to make

00:46:14.640 out and he'd come in there. 0.99

00:46:15.420 He'd wake me up and he'd be like, don't fucking up. 0.97

00:46:19.140 But he'd wake me up and tell me to don't wake up. 0.99

00:46:21.600 Don't be jacking off. 0.86

00:46:23.100 It was just crazy. 0.90

00:46:24.180 Like, I wasn't going to wake up.

00:46:26.740 I was being asleep.

00:46:27.980 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:28.260 He'd be like, dude, don't fucking wake up. 0.99

00:46:29.720 I got a chick over. 1.00

00:46:30.440 So you were just fucking like vampire underneath. 1.00

00:46:34.900 I was dead asleep. 1.00

00:46:35.640 Yeah.

00:46:36.380 It was 150 bucks a month, dude.

00:46:38.140 That's not bad.

00:46:39.060 That was a great deal, man.

00:46:40.180 Were you like for real under the bed like a monster or was it like a loft kind of thing?

00:46:44.100 Were you like, how much space did you have? 0.81

00:46:46.980 I was like a monster.

00:46:49.080 How much space did you have? 0.99

00:46:50.020 I just fucking put my hand and just creeps out the itch. 0.94

00:46:54.800 Was it like the loft style set up and you were just going to? 0.98

00:46:57.040 No, but it was a nice bed, pretty high bed.

00:46:58.940 Okay.

00:46:59.180 And so, yeah, I had probably, I would say 20 inches under there.

00:47:03.380 Not bad.

00:47:04.360 Did you get scared when you woke up?

00:47:06.660 Yeah, probably 19 inches.

00:47:08.200 A couple times.

00:47:09.160 You start to adapt.

00:47:12.480 That makes sense.

00:47:13.140 Because I only have one experience.

00:47:14.360 I slept at my cousin's house one time when I was little and I slept on the floor, but

00:47:17.600 I would move around while I was sleeping.

00:47:18.960 I ended up with half of my body under his bed and I freaked out when I woke up. 0.99

00:47:23.440 So I didn't know where the fuck I was. 0.99

00:47:24.340 I just looked up and I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:47:25.680 Yeah. 0.99

00:47:26.100 Scary. 0.99

00:47:26.420 But that must have been sick to be laying under someone having sex like that. 0.96

00:47:30.680 Yeah, well, it was, and I think, look, he did it because he was trying to make sure 0.99

00:47:34.440 I knew he was hooking up with chicks, you know?

00:47:36.280 Yeah.

00:47:36.380 He always, like, he always, like, did that.

00:47:40.440 Should have gave him a little, just so he would know, just from the bottom.

00:47:43.620 Just push a little with my legs up against the bottom of it.

00:47:45.940 Like, boost, yeah, get a little, just leg pressing like a quarter inch deeper.

00:47:52.140 That would have been righteous as hell.

00:47:53.720 That would have been cool. 1.00

00:47:54.700 She would have been like, holy shit. 0.99

00:47:57.060 It's a strength of two men. 1.00

00:47:58.480 She would have loved that, dude. 1.00

00:48:01.960 Dude, anybody that has sex for more than probably six or seven minutes is out of their fucking 1.00

00:48:05.800 mind, right? 1.00

00:48:06.340 Dude, it's ridiculous, man. 0.84

00:48:07.780 Thank you. 0.85

00:48:08.100 I, I'm praying about this.

00:48:09.540 I'm like, even to say it, I felt afraid to say it.

00:48:12.300 No, we, I used to live, me and Brittany lived below a couple and the guy would just, for

00:48:17.740 fucking like 40 minutes, just be like, and it was just never ending. 0.82

00:48:21.820 We'd be like, dude, come on, man. 0.98

00:48:24.020 This isn't even sexy anymore.

00:48:25.920 It was just like, dude, what are you doing?

00:48:28.160 Yeah.

00:48:28.560 It's all, yeah.

00:48:29.220 It's like, what are you doing?

00:48:31.140 What is the point?

00:48:32.180 Yeah, dude, just go to anything else.

00:48:34.220 Yeah.

00:48:34.640 I agree.

00:48:35.120 I, it's, I mean, if you're really getting after it, 12 minutes top.

00:48:39.120 12 minutes is crazy.

00:48:40.240 Yeah.

00:48:40.380 On a par, like on a, um, six.

00:48:43.740 Perfect.

00:48:44.420 Yeah.

00:48:45.240 Yeah.

00:48:45.920 One, two is like understandable.

00:48:47.940 Yeah.

00:48:48.600 It happens.

00:48:49.460 You have to definitely, yeah, I would get so nervous.

00:48:53.580 Sometimes I would get off and I'd be like, what was that? 0.99

00:48:55.140 And I'd run out of the, just shit. 0.99

00:48:56.540 Like, you know, oh, you hear that or something? 1.00

00:48:59.580 I'd run out of the fucking room or something. 0.99

00:49:01.440 Wait, what do you mean? 1.00

00:49:02.340 Like if I would get, you know, ejaculate earlier. 0.96

00:49:05.120 Oh, true. 0.98

00:49:05.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:06.180 What the fuck was that? 0.99

00:49:07.480 Do you feel that earthquake? 1.00

00:49:08.740 What the fuck was that? 0.99

00:49:09.580 I'd just fucking run out of the room. 0.99

00:49:11.940 Come back like 10 minutes later with my clothes on. 0.98

00:49:14.140 Just not even saying anything.

00:49:15.760 Although I, I feel like women secretly, I mean, not even secretly, they'd much prefer

00:49:19.720 that than like, if you just couldn't finish, it devastates women. 1.00

00:49:24.780 If you can't finish, dude, they, you know, people like say the guys are bad at being

00:49:29.620 like, well, folks, you didn't come.

00:49:30.720 But like a dude, if a dude doesn't come ever, like women, women will implode. 1.00

00:49:34.120 But that's, I think the new move is not like just coming for just fun, like just party

00:49:40.580 coming or whatever.

00:49:41.340 Like people are just coming for fun.

00:49:42.860 I think that's kind of, those days are over.

00:49:45.160 Yeah.

00:49:45.740 I mean, do you mean like personally or just kind of like in the whole thing? 0.51

00:49:48.620 It's like, it's like, I want to just, I want to be the guy that kind of, you know, ejaculates 0.73

00:49:55.660 like with a purpose or whatever. 0.90

00:49:56.760 Yeah.

00:49:56.880 Build it up.

00:49:57.360 Is that crazy? 1.00

00:49:57.780 What the fuck am I talking about? 1.00

00:49:58.620 Dude, no. 1.00

00:49:59.040 That's, that's insane. 1.00

00:50:00.260 What am I fucking? 1.00

00:50:01.440 I think I'm Stephen Douglas of fucking ejaculations, dude. 1.00

00:50:04.880 I have the same fantasy though, where I'm like, I'm going to really like dial it in 0.99

00:50:11.300 and, you know, I'll be like tired before bed.

00:50:14.120 And it's like, I'm going to have a beat off, even though I'm not horny.

00:50:15.980 That's where I'm at. 0.90

00:50:16.980 Oh, you're not even, you don't even want to, but you're like. 0.98

00:50:19.060 That's sick.

00:50:19.460 Let me just do that.

00:50:19.740 That's abuse really.

00:50:20.580 It is.

00:50:21.120 And it feels like abuse.

00:50:22.520 Yeah.

00:50:22.920 You finish and you're like, I didn't need to do that.

00:50:24.800 That was, it's crazy.

00:50:26.520 Yeah.

00:50:26.640 You feel so much shame. 0.98

00:50:27.600 I feel a ton of shame happens for me from watching porno. 0.99

00:50:30.760 And watching myself jerk myself off. 1.00

00:50:34.160 Watching yourself. 0.94

00:50:35.020 Yeah.

00:50:35.240 True.

00:50:36.340 Yeah.

00:50:36.680 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:37.040 I mean, it's jerk. 1.00

00:50:38.820 I don't mind jerking off. 1.00

00:50:39.700 It's pornography for some reason. 0.99

00:50:40.880 Like when it's over and I'm still watching it and I'm just like, if I can do like a memory

00:50:45.460 beat, those, I feel pretty guilt-free.

00:50:48.320 Yeah.

00:50:48.620 I went out in the shower, just kind of. 0.69

00:50:50.700 Dude, I had a blind dude that lived with us for a bit and we would fucking, I saw him 0.98

00:50:54.000 watching hand porn or whatever it's called. 0.99

00:50:57.440 No. 0.99

00:50:58.740 Reading like braille erotica.

00:51:01.580 Craziest thing ever, man.

00:51:02.840 Really beautiful.

00:51:03.680 Really.

00:51:04.420 I mean, gay. 1.00

00:51:05.920 I don't know.

00:51:06.500 I mean, like, yeah.

00:51:07.680 I mean, it was, what gay, it was like, you know, but it was pretty cool. 0.98

00:51:12.840 It was like, I'm trying to think of what movie or braille's just shaped like boobs and you're 1.00

00:51:16.460 just going, oh, fuck dude. 1.00

00:51:17.880 Well, it was getting pretty crazy. 1.00

00:51:20.360 You know?

00:51:20.760 It's crazy.

00:51:21.460 But it's just interesting to see, you know, it's almost like watching the nature channel.

00:51:25.140 Yeah.

00:51:25.300 That's kind of nuts.

00:51:25.900 Oh, there you go.

00:51:26.900 The braille superstore romance novels. 1.00

00:51:28.620 Fuck, dude. 1.00

00:51:29.200 I want to learn braille just so I can do this. 1.00

00:51:32.300 Oh, yeah.

00:51:33.320 The love hypothesis. 0.98

00:51:34.400 Damn, their titles are very like poetic. 0.98

00:51:36.080 It ends with us. 0.99

00:51:36.860 It starts with us.

00:51:37.780 Turn around and let me see that sexy body go. 1.00

00:51:41.180 Boom, boom, boom. 1.00

00:51:42.540 That's stupid. 1.00

00:51:43.700 No, that was pretty sick. 1.00

00:51:44.560 That was pretty bad.

00:51:45.180 Lessons in Chemistry, Crash and Burn.

00:51:47.520 These titles are good.

00:51:48.540 Oh, the Manning sisters.

00:51:49.640 What are they doing?

00:51:50.460 That's probably about Eli and painting.

00:51:52.020 Painting and getting a trance surgery.

00:51:53.820 Dude, is Eli, does he just get carried along by Peyton?

00:52:00.420 Is Peyton the one with all the pizazz and Eli just gets kind of carried on?

00:52:03.840 Well, didn't Eli win?

00:52:05.240 Did Eli win or am I?

00:52:06.860 Peyton definitely won Super Bowls. 1.00

00:52:08.360 But I thought Eli, not Eli.

00:52:10.240 Eli won one, yeah, with the Giants.

00:52:11.480 He won one.

00:52:12.000 Beat the Pats, yeah. 1.00

00:52:12.560 And Peyton, what?

00:52:13.520 Peyton won two?

00:52:15.440 That's a good question.

00:52:16.200 He won with Denver, didn't he?

00:52:17.080 Yeah.

00:52:17.500 I think so.

00:52:18.140 Oh, yeah, he did.

00:52:18.760 He did.

00:52:19.060 Because I would have thought Peyton was definitely the guy, but apparently Eli was kind of nasty

00:52:23.200 as well.

00:52:23.840 Oh, Eli was pretty wild, man.

00:52:25.060 Yeah.

00:52:25.400 Eli is definitely funnier to be around when I'm around the two of them.

00:52:29.820 Really?

00:52:30.140 I haven't been around him much.

00:52:31.300 Yeah.

00:52:31.440 Maybe that sounds like humble bragging.

00:52:32.720 It's not.

00:52:33.440 No.

00:52:33.960 But Peyton went to UT, so you see him sometimes like in Nashville or in Tennessee.

00:52:42.140 Peyton's a great actor.

00:52:44.000 He's good in those commercials, but he actually, yeah, he's pretty good. 0.99

00:52:46.340 Also, he probably whooped Eli's ass, dude. 0.99

00:52:48.680 Oh, that's a great question. 1.00

00:52:50.260 All right, dude.

00:52:50.720 I can tell. 1.00

00:52:52.820 He definitely whooped his ass. 1.00

00:52:54.180 That's a great question. 1.00

00:52:55.120 Dude, I forgot you're asking me what I've been up to.

00:52:58.680 I've been visiting schools.

00:53:00.440 Now I have to look at real schools.

00:53:02.800 My oldest daughter's going to turn five, so that's like kindergarten.

00:53:07.140 So she has to get to the real school system.

00:53:09.940 And we were looking at this one place, and they have plainclothes just like guards now

00:53:15.340 with guns.

00:53:17.020 So it's kind of sick.

00:53:17.880 I was like, dude, I really want to retire and become plainclothes, just walk around

00:53:22.960 a school, just grow like a ponytail and just become a teacher.

00:53:25.320 That's all you do all day.

00:53:26.420 You carry a gun. 0.98

00:53:27.140 You just wait for like some nerd to pop off, and you just blast him. 0.98

00:53:32.280 Dude, that would be honorable, man. 0.99

00:53:35.140 But what if you fucking, what if you start tripping in your head and thinking that somebody's 1.00

00:53:40.360 like some kid is like plotting and shit? 1.00

00:53:41.960 I'm like the true detective. 0.99

00:53:42.880 I'm Russ Cole of school security.

00:53:46.760 I'd have to wait until they pop.

00:53:47.980 They'd have to pull out first.

00:53:49.060 You think you would set a kid up?

00:53:52.140 No, no, no.

00:53:53.860 Can you say that?

00:53:55.440 No, you're saying like get like all tripped out. 0.99

00:53:57.820 Like, damn, is this kid getting paranoid? 1.00

00:53:59.320 Like, I know these motherfuckers. 1.00

00:53:59.900 Like, oh, Damien's up to some shit. 1.00

00:54:01.040 I know he's packing. 1.00

00:54:02.280 No, I would just wait.

00:54:03.160 I would chill.

00:54:03.780 I'd do my thing. 1.00

00:54:04.360 And the moment one of those motherfuckers pulled out the steel, I would just be there ready 1.00

00:54:10.540 to die and just walk them down. 1.00

00:54:14.440 That's your job. 1.00

00:54:16.080 Mr. Walk them down, Crayola style.

00:54:18.180 Walk them down, bro. 1.00

00:54:19.240 And if I, you know, if I died, I'd die a fucking hero. 1.00

00:54:21.640 You can't die, dude. 1.00

00:54:23.040 Some fucking kid. 1.00

00:54:24.680 You can't. 1.00

00:54:24.940 You have these two hands even holding a gun up. 0.83

00:54:28.400 What if an adult kid, sometimes like crazy adults kind of. 0.77

00:54:30.960 Oh, that's true.

00:54:31.620 Oh, good.

00:54:32.280 Yeah, that's better.

00:54:32.960 Let's frame it like that. 1.00

00:54:33.460 It's like evil nerds or a fucking like just wild adult. 1.00

00:54:37.360 Either one could get it. 1.00

00:54:38.480 Yeah.

00:54:38.740 Either one could get it.

00:54:39.740 Oh, but it's like, dude, that would be that would be.

00:54:42.580 I was just at this school and it was like a guy.

00:54:44.700 I saw the guy because they were like, you know, my wife said, you have security.

00:54:47.140 And like, we have plainclothes.

00:54:48.020 I'm like, right on.

00:54:49.040 Then I saw I was like kind of sussing out.

00:54:50.680 Like, I see people walking around.

00:54:52.240 Yeah.

00:54:52.480 As soon as I saw like, oh, dude, I'm like, oh, there's the plainclothes security guard.

00:54:55.620 Yeah.

00:54:55.800 When I was young, we just had like a milf with a hammer running around.

00:55:00.140 We were lucky, dude.

00:55:01.600 Yeah.

00:55:01.760 We didn't have any security, man.

00:55:03.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:03.680 We didn't have shit. 0.99

00:55:04.840 We did. 1.00

00:55:05.280 Yeah.

00:55:05.500 Now you need it.

00:55:06.060 Now you do the plainclothes guys at a school.

00:55:08.320 That would be so sick.

00:55:09.040 Just walking around, chilling, knowing like, yeah, dude, all I have to do is chill here. 1.00

00:55:12.520 Listen to Desperado on your fucking AirPods. 0.99

00:55:14.880 Nonstop. 1.00

00:55:15.840 It'd be nothing but shit like that. 1.00

00:55:18.080 Just fucking enter Sandman. 1.00

00:55:19.580 Just. 0.99

00:55:19.760 Yeah.

00:55:19.860 I would just be getting hype for like 30 years.

00:55:21.700 Just being like, let's go. 0.99

00:55:23.900 Let's fucking go. 1.00

00:55:24.840 Walking tall machine gun, man. 1.00

00:55:28.300 Bro.

00:55:29.500 That would be crazy, dude. 1.00

00:55:31.440 Damn, dude. 1.00

00:55:34.820 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:35.020 By the end of it, I'd just be tipping my hat to the teachers like, ma'am, all black leather

00:55:39.260 cowboy outfit.

00:55:40.860 He's like, dude, can you be a little more low?

00:55:42.640 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:43.560 You shit once a week. 1.00

00:55:45.160 I'd roll a tumbleweed before I walked anywhere. 1.00

00:55:47.180 I'd just kick a tumbleweed across from me.

00:55:48.860 Bro, these people should have their own tumbleweeds, right?

00:55:52.460 Yeah, dude.

00:55:53.480 Just throw it on a string.

00:55:54.380 Just fish it.

00:55:55.000 Yeah.

00:55:55.380 A hero.

00:55:56.140 A hero should have a couple of tumbleweeds in front of them, dude.

00:55:59.600 True. 0.99

00:55:59.880 Just fucking give it. 1.00

00:56:00.820 I would just kick it as I walk. 1.00

00:56:02.220 Or even if some twinks dressed up like in hay and stuff. 0.90

00:56:05.200 That'd be nice.

00:56:06.020 That would be nice.

00:56:06.680 Spinning around.

00:56:07.380 Look at Tonto.

00:56:08.620 Look at Tonto. 0.99

00:56:11.960 But yeah, that was fucking killing me, dude. 1.00

00:56:13.560 I kept fucking with my wife. 1.00

00:56:14.660 I was like, bro. 1.00

00:56:15.560 Wow.

00:56:16.000 I love.

00:56:16.420 That's the one thing.

00:56:17.100 We went to Chicago and she was crushing me.

00:56:19.900 She's from there.

00:56:20.600 So when we were visiting, her family was like, you got to be careful now.

00:56:24.060 And they kept calling them the hop out boys, which you shouldn't give these guys a cool

00:56:28.380 name like that.

00:56:29.020 But they were like, dudes are just hopping out of cars with AR-15s and just carjacking people.

00:56:32.960 So my wife was telling me about it the whole time.

00:56:34.700 She hates when I do this. 1.00

00:56:35.560 But I'll be like, bro, I wish a motherfucker. 1.00

00:56:37.460 Would pop out of me with that thing. 0.99

00:56:38.800 She's like, dude, it's not funny.

00:56:39.940 It's very serious.

00:56:40.780 I was like, bro, it'd be the worst day of that guy's life.

00:56:42.920 Yeah.

00:56:43.360 Would you please stop?

00:56:44.220 This is serious. 1.00

00:56:45.540 I was like, I wish one of those motherfuckers would. 1.00

00:56:47.720 And the whole time we were there, I was like, please, please. 1.00

00:56:49.380 I hope those guys don't come.

00:56:51.380 But yeah, you got it.

00:56:51.860 Did you have a, you got a piece on you?

00:56:53.520 No, I didn't have anything.

00:56:54.460 I told her, I told her I was going to grab the barrel and tie it in a knot and be like, get 1.00

00:56:57.280 the fuck out of here, you punk. 1.00

00:57:00.340 Bro. 1.00

00:57:01.580 Your wife is going to be holding the blood into your body, dude. 1.00

00:57:04.920 I just say that to fuck with her. 1.00

00:57:07.500 In the reality, I would have fucking bailed. 1.00

00:57:09.540 I would have like, all right, you guys, you can have the fuck the car and the family. 1.00

00:57:11.640 I'm out of here. 1.00

00:57:12.680 Do you think a wife likes it if the husband has a gun on him? 1.00

00:57:15.340 Definitely.

00:57:16.200 These days. 1.00

00:57:16.740 I think they love that shit. 1.00

00:57:18.880 I mean, dude, like you could get the most like lib lady, but she's going to love all 1.00

00:57:22.660 libs secretly.

00:57:23.400 I think I've even talked about this before.

00:57:24.580 All libs secretly want just a red pill badass. 1.00

00:57:28.000 In my experience. 0.95

00:57:29.660 They want a dude with a gun. 0.96

00:57:30.820 I went to social work school.

00:57:31.880 A lot of the women there secretly had like deeply conservative husbands who worked as

00:57:35.880 like financial guys.

00:57:37.580 And they were all like, you know.

00:57:39.060 They just do it because they feel like somebody has to promote what would be idealistic.

00:57:43.820 I mean, that's what a lot of like, I guess, I don't know.

00:57:47.500 I mean, a lot of people's view, it's just like this.

00:57:49.820 Ideally, yes, it would be awesome.

00:57:51.440 But some of them, it's just not practical.

00:57:53.040 It's like, like I have friends that like, um, will talk to me about like, well, you

00:57:57.780 guys have guns there in America and stuff like that.

00:57:59.980 And it's just dangerous.

00:58:00.760 And why can't you guys figure that out?

00:58:02.380 And people want to have their guns.

00:58:03.700 It's like, there's no way to not have it.

00:58:07.020 Yeah.

00:58:07.640 The bad guys have guns already.

00:58:10.220 It's too late.

00:58:10.740 If you do a gun drive, the good guys are just going to give their guns away.

00:58:15.060 I know.

00:58:15.900 You just have to have them, dude.

00:58:17.180 And what are you going to call a policeman who does, if he doesn't have a gun, he's not

00:58:20.100 coming to help you.

00:58:21.120 He's done.

00:58:21.600 Yeah, exactly.

00:58:22.080 What do you think is he going to drive by and honk at you guys while you're getting

00:58:24.980 beaten or shot in the yard?

00:58:27.920 Yeah.

00:58:28.060 You can't really do anything about it.

00:58:29.280 But I do think, yeah, I think, but ideally, yes, it'd be great if there weren't like, I

00:58:33.860 wish there weren't.

00:58:34.520 Right.

00:58:34.920 But that has to go away quickly.

00:58:37.120 Yeah.

00:58:37.560 Because there are people shooting each other all the time.

00:58:40.600 Oh, yeah.

00:58:41.120 So you have to get past that idea.

00:58:44.540 Yeah.

00:58:45.260 Yeah.

00:58:45.520 You're not going to be able to, the technology chain is going to have to be an interchange

00:58:48.480 because the guns are there.

00:58:49.960 Criminals are going to have them.

00:58:51.000 And it's like, yeah, like, what do you want to not have one when a criminal with a gun

00:58:54.580 comes to you?

00:58:55.380 Or the government has to be the one who takes them. 0.99

00:58:57.760 Then that's a whole other can of worms because it's like, we're not giving you my fucking 0.99

00:59:00.360 guns. 1.00

00:59:01.540 Fuck no. 1.00

00:59:02.660 Yeah. 1.00

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01:01:44.920 It's a tricky thing, although right now a lot of people are gloating on the libs.

01:01:50.280 I don't want to gloat on the libs.

01:01:51.280 A lot of people are gloating on them because Trump got elected.

01:01:53.200 Yeah, me neither.

01:01:53.840 I'm not gloating on the libs.

01:01:55.480 I'm not into that.

01:01:56.620 No, I'm not into that at all.

01:01:57.680 I think we're in a-

01:01:58.340 Dude, how did the Ken Wilber thing go, by the way?

01:02:00.420 Oh, yeah.

01:02:01.000 Ken Wilber, super interesting guy.

01:02:03.940 He has the best take on this whole situation.

01:02:06.220 On the election stuff?

01:02:07.800 Culture war.

01:02:08.460 Yeah.

01:02:08.620 Oh, I don't know if I talked to you about that.

01:02:10.000 Really?

01:02:10.120 It was a lot of listening and learning.

01:02:12.060 Was it a lot of stuff?

01:02:12.960 Yeah, but we worked together to make it as effective a conversation as we could.

01:02:17.200 Nice.

01:02:17.720 But it was really cool just learning about his philosophy of how as a species, we are evolving.

01:02:26.740 And over time, we're just advancing.

01:02:30.260 Yeah.

01:02:30.560 So how those affect you personally and how you- 0.96

01:02:35.660 I fucking don't know. 0.96

01:02:36.740 Dude, well, his thing is- 0.99

01:02:37.620 No, dude, so it's fucking- 0.96

01:02:38.840 Did he get into how there's holarchies and- 0.97

01:02:41.400 Some of it.

01:02:42.160 And there's like cells and cells turn into like organisms.

01:02:45.160 Organisms turn into humans.

01:02:46.340 Yep.

01:02:46.620 You know, blah, blah, blah.

01:02:47.340 Yeah, we started going up the chain of command, right?

01:02:49.080 And then also how we're advancing as-

01:02:51.160 And our worldviews are doing the same thing.

01:02:52.780 Right.

01:02:52.880 Where we had like, you know, like medieval rulers into democracies.

01:02:55.640 And then the libs are the leading edge of cultural evolution where it's like everything's being more and more inclusive physically and worldview-ly, you know, in terms of worldview.

01:03:04.980 Yeah.

01:03:05.140 It's just the libs lost the plot, or they call it the green wave, lost the plot because they include everybody but like, you know, Trump, white type Trump voters.

01:03:14.920 Yeah.

01:03:15.140 And the whole thing's collapsing in on itself.

01:03:16.900 All they have to do is just love everybody.

01:03:18.800 Yeah.

01:03:18.980 And they'd have the superior worldview.

01:03:21.320 It's a good point, actually.

01:03:22.440 I think a lot of people did.

01:03:24.340 I mean, I don't know, dude.

01:03:25.580 I was a Democrat.

01:03:27.060 I mean, like I got so angry when they did that stuff to Bernie, you know?

01:03:31.340 Like, my dad was an old man, so to me, it also registered like somebody taking advantage of an older person. 0.98

01:03:37.960 So that shit, like at that point for me, I was just like, what's going on here? 0.99

01:03:42.020 And then I am super concerned about like the big pharma and medicine just using us all and not caring that we're human beings. 0.99

01:03:53.580 Like, yes, there's a lot of medicine that's helping people, but also like everybody shouldn't be on a medicine.

01:03:58.340 Yeah.

01:03:58.960 You know?

01:03:59.280 And there's some commercials for medicines.

01:04:01.360 They don't even say what it does.

01:04:02.580 Then you look it up and it's like, it's for like heart failure. 0.99

01:04:07.200 And you're like, why the fuck are you? 0.99

01:04:08.020 This is a baseball game, dude. 0.99

01:04:09.140 I'm not going to be like, yo, can I get that heart failure medication?

01:04:11.540 Yeah.

01:04:11.880 You have to request it.

01:04:12.860 The wheelchair gum or whatever. 1.00

01:04:14.320 There's all kind of shit. 0.99

01:04:15.020 And you're like, what do we need to meet that for? 1.00

01:04:17.920 Yeah.

01:04:18.440 But yeah, that's the big standoff right now.

01:04:20.660 It's like.

01:04:21.120 So I like RFK.

01:04:21.920 He was kind of the guy that I thought was neat.

01:04:23.500 Me too.

01:04:23.900 I'm been to him.

01:04:24.620 Yeah.

01:04:24.800 I like the fact that he's doing all that stuff against all those things.

01:04:27.240 And then I think, I don't think we have the same parties anymore.

01:04:30.180 I don't feel like it's Democrats and Republicans anymore.

01:04:32.120 There's something else happening.

01:04:33.540 Yeah.

01:04:33.980 And it's going to keep morphing.

01:04:35.720 Well, that's the Wilbur stuff is that the green, it was like orange is like the business

01:04:39.840 science wave.

01:04:40.660 And the green wave was the one.

01:04:42.000 It's like in terms of worldviews, you could have like what he called red was like ethnocentric.

01:04:46.220 That was what he called Trump.

01:04:47.020 It's like, it's things that speak to like ethnocentric ideals where people get to the

01:04:51.160 point where they can only recognize like people that look like them.

01:04:53.940 They can only care about people who look like them, which is like a reality for a lot of

01:04:57.360 people all across the world.

01:04:58.580 It's like, you know, every country in every country is like, we have the best food.

01:05:02.300 We have the most beautiful.

01:05:03.080 Everybody, you know, does this.

01:05:04.220 And then his whole theory is that you slowly grow out of it to more complex and inclusive

01:05:08.260 worldviews.

01:05:09.580 But it was, again, it was like that, the thing that crushed like the, like the, what 0.99

01:05:14.180 Jordan, Peter, Jordan, Peter, or Peter, what the fuck is his name? 0.98

01:05:16.860 Jordan Peterson. 0.99

01:05:17.300 Jordan Peterson.

01:05:18.140 Jordan Peterson.

01:05:18.780 Jesus Christ.

01:05:19.940 His whole thing we call is like postmodern neo-Marxism is that green wave Ken Wilber talks

01:05:24.340 about where it's like the leading edge where all the colleges are like radical inclusivity,

01:05:27.520 but all they have to do is go, Trump guys, you're cool too.

01:05:31.800 It's all they have to do.

01:05:32.520 They can't do it.

01:05:33.140 And now the whole thing is just imploding on itself. 0.94

01:05:35.880 So that's the part that makes you start to think, do they just hate like white men?

01:05:40.680 For me, it's like in three generations, it's like, I always say like beige power, like 0.98

01:05:45.640 everybody's going to be beige, right?

01:05:46.680 In three generations, everybody's going to be like, you know, Ben Simmons, Blake Griffins,

01:05:52.060 you know, penguin people, you know, mixed.

01:05:55.520 And so it's just kind of weird.

01:05:57.840 How do we want to operate that in the meantime?

01:05:59.740 Right?

01:06:00.300 Exactly.

01:06:00.660 But then I think when people get scared, especially with like threats of war, fears, they start

01:06:07.460 to, they want to gravitate towards whatever is their, seemed like their people.

01:06:11.700 Prison is the same thing.

01:06:12.900 You go to prison and everyone's, you know, it's all like based on race and all that stuff.

01:06:16.000 Yeah.

01:06:16.360 And then, but, but everybody is a jelly roll fan, you know? 0.99

01:06:19.820 True.

01:06:20.000 That's true.

01:06:20.560 That's true.

01:06:21.160 Which is pretty crazy.

01:06:24.520 Well, dude, it's, it's like, yeah, what they, where they fell, you know, this is like,

01:06:29.260 if you didn't, the will, it's hard to explain without like seeing the Wilbur thing, but it's

01:06:31.940 like, if you take what they, what's called like a lib or a, you know, a postmodern neo-Marx,

01:06:36.320 whatever they want to call it.

01:06:36.920 Like people who are, you know, like a radical feminist, they built their, their thing was

01:06:42.200 right.

01:06:42.500 And being like, we should be nice to everybody.

01:06:44.480 We shouldn't be mean to gay people. 0.72

01:06:45.660 We shouldn't be mean to white race. 0.99

01:06:46.700 They're totally correct. 0.94

01:06:48.000 The problem was they went, and the reason everything's so bad, they're like, we hate

01:06:52.680 racism in every form, every type of discrimination. 0.99

01:06:55.220 And it's all because of white people. 0.97

01:06:56.420 And it just like went right back downward. 0.97

01:06:58.600 Now you're just being racist in a more sophisticated fashion.

01:07:01.040 Right.

01:07:01.620 And that's the whole thing.

01:07:02.600 That's why it's not, if it's a truly like visionary and leading, like kind of like evolutionary

01:07:08.080 tip of like our spiral upward into like complexity and greater wholeness.

01:07:12.200 People would get on board.

01:07:13.580 Right.

01:07:13.760 And maybe that's the next step.

01:07:15.060 That's the next step is like being like, okay, here's all the good stuff from your worldview.

01:07:19.260 And we're going to apply that to everybody.

01:07:21.440 And rather than being like, this is the reason everything's fucked up is because blah, blah, 0.97

01:07:24.980 blah. 0.95

01:07:25.160 Cause it's like, yeah.

01:07:25.980 And that's another thing.

01:07:26.740 I mean, that's one thing that's kind of gets worried, worried about Trump is like,

01:07:29.380 is he going to be, is that, is the pointing fingers? 0.99

01:07:32.720 Is that shit in, you know, is that kind of in? 0.98

01:07:35.340 And so it is for now, but it's like, I think they're good RFK smart where he's kind of 0.99

01:07:39.460 like, I don't want to participate in any of this stuff.

01:07:41.620 Yeah.

01:07:41.980 And hopefully he'll kind of get up in his ear.

01:07:43.380 Cause it, I mean, it is so sweet slamming the libs. 1.00

01:07:45.760 I will give it, there's, I get like a, when I see the libs get owned, I do, there's a

01:07:49.600 part of the libs, the liberals.

01:07:50.900 Yeah.

01:07:51.180 It's just like, there's like on the internet, like liberals owned liberal slam.

01:07:54.180 And it's like, you watch, they do those like, uh, you know, they do those like 25 students

01:07:58.180 versus like Ben Shapiro.

01:07:59.520 Yeah.

01:07:59.760 That's like slamming the libs porn where it's like him just like taking on 19 year olds.

01:08:04.140 I'm like, actually, you don't know anything about that. 0.99

01:08:05.360 And then the, everyone's just like, tell him Ben fucking crushed the libs. 0.52

01:08:08.380 And I will, there's a dark part of my heart. 0.92

01:08:10.240 That's like, yes.

01:08:10.840 When I watch that, there's got that hair wallet on, dude, they did one of them where they

01:08:16.800 make people run to the chair to tap the chair so that they get the chance to debate him.

01:08:21.440 And it's dude, it's embarrassing.

01:08:23.440 People are like tripping over themselves to hit the chair and be like, actually, Ben, 1.00

01:08:26.180 I think you're a fucking asshole. 1.00

01:08:27.180 And he's like, next. 1.00

01:08:28.420 And I'm like, dude, don't run to the chair.

01:08:29.960 You're an adult.

01:08:30.860 They're like diving for it.

01:08:32.480 Just to be like, actually, Ben, if you ever threw it, it's like, so I've been trying to

01:08:36.260 remove, I know I have a bias towards that.

01:08:38.140 And I, I'm trying to like remove that from watching that stuff.

01:08:40.920 Yeah.

01:08:41.160 Not that, that stuff I'm like, whatever on, but it's like, I will watch like news clips where

01:08:45.080 we're like liberals melt down about, and I'll be like, well, check this out.

01:08:48.640 And I'll be like, yeah, I've been trying to erase that because I'm like, it's not good.

01:08:52.540 It's not good.

01:08:53.200 And it's, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

01:08:54.660 I don't care.

01:08:55.140 Like, I just want, like, I don't know. 0.98

01:08:57.920 Some shit just started to get really weird. 0.94

01:08:59.500 I think, well, Kamala wouldn't come on podcast, right? 0.99

01:09:02.820 I thought that that was weird.

01:09:03.780 It was like, and we asked and they said, well, do you guys give final edit?

01:09:08.600 Right.

01:09:09.400 And they asked, did Trump ask for final edit?

01:09:12.360 You know?

01:09:13.320 Did he?

01:09:13.920 No.

01:09:14.820 They didn't ask for anything.

01:09:15.580 They shouldn't, dude.

01:09:16.300 They didn't ask for anything.

01:09:17.140 JD Vance showed up.

01:09:18.800 Dude, there were snipers on the, I stayed up late, like, trying to get some questions

01:09:22.780 together and think of some things.

01:09:25.660 And we invited everybody.

01:09:26.960 Those were the, them, Bernie Sanders, and Mark Cuban came on.

01:09:30.600 He was very much like a Democrat or left-leaning.

01:09:36.100 But he gets something.

01:09:37.280 I didn't realize he gets, if they won, he get, there's a business incentive, you know?

01:09:41.840 I didn't realize that.

01:09:42.840 Some of these things I'm learning as I go, right?

01:09:44.860 It's typically with billionaires.

01:09:45.880 Yeah.

01:09:46.080 When they're like, when they're involved in politics, it usually is to like.

01:09:49.140 Yeah.

01:09:49.240 I didn't realize that.

01:09:49.800 I'm like, oh, people aren't just out there hoo-ron for no reason. 0.99

01:09:52.420 There's some reason.

01:09:53.480 Yeah.

01:09:53.600 He's not freaking out over like banned books and schools.

01:09:55.540 He's like, I need you to, you know, build a railroad from here to there, whatever the 0.96

01:09:59.400 fuck he's up to. 0.99

01:10:00.160 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:00.800 But we had common ground and like just different thoughts and stuff and definitely inspiring

01:10:04.100 to be able to talk to people like that.

01:10:05.280 But I woke, so I wake up that morning and it was like an hour until the thing. 0.79

01:10:09.480 I was like, I had to get in the freaking ice bath.

01:10:11.280 I got to make sure I'm in a decent mood. 0.61

01:10:12.600 Get hyped.

01:10:12.900 Yeah.

01:10:13.180 Yeah.

01:10:13.540 Try to do something and get hyped.

01:10:14.780 Do you get spun out when you have level, like guests of that high profile?

01:10:19.080 Yeah, man. 0.99

01:10:19.640 I get fucking, I get crunched, dude. 1.00

01:10:21.560 I can't handle it, man. 1.00

01:10:22.700 We had RFK on.

01:10:23.480 I could barely like formulate a sentence.

01:10:25.040 Wow.

01:10:25.960 And neither can he though, which is great.

01:10:27.920 You know?

01:10:28.620 That's a joke, Bobby.

01:10:29.480 He'll laugh at it.

01:10:30.340 He will.

01:10:30.680 He'll laugh at it.

01:10:32.980 Dude, watch. 0.99

01:10:33.780 Suddenly he fucking fixes his own voice, dude. 0.99

01:10:35.780 That's, it's over, dude. 0.99

01:10:37.260 It's over.

01:10:37.820 It's over.

01:10:38.500 And it's dude.

01:10:39.220 And it's like, yeah, imagine he is such, he'd be such, he's such an electrifying speaker

01:10:43.640 and thinker anyway.

01:10:44.280 But yeah, it's, that works against him.

01:10:46.440 He's been in it.

01:10:47.160 Yeah.

01:10:47.580 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:47.740 But so, but I wake up, there's fucking, I go in the ice bath. 0.99

01:10:50.580 There was like secret service ever. 0.98

01:10:51.840 They had drape, put drapes, black drapes in front of the house, right? 0.99

01:10:56.280 Damn. 0.99

01:10:56.800 They shut down exits off the interstate. 1.00

01:10:58.760 I had no idea.

01:10:59.980 You shut down the whole city.

01:11:01.300 Bro, I had no idea.

01:11:03.340 There's snipers on the roof, on the roof, full tactical gear.

01:11:07.640 I'll put pictures in the YouTube. 0.99

01:11:09.660 Holy shit. 0.99

01:11:10.760 And then, oh, my neighbor, right? 1.00

01:11:14.540 I fucking look at my phone. 0.98

01:11:16.580 He's like, what's up? 0.99

01:11:19.140 Are you?

01:11:20.020 And then he put blank, like just underlines.

01:11:22.660 And I, they thought it was one of those things where like a suicide in the house, like, like

01:11:27.500 they were sending people in to get, like, I was taking my own life at home.

01:11:31.400 That's how he asked you if you killed yourself.

01:11:33.020 He said, are you?

01:11:33.700 Well, he sent like four messages.

01:11:35.180 And so at that point, he's.

01:11:35.860 Oh, I got you.

01:11:36.300 Because I, it was like already 11.

01:11:38.200 I slept in.

01:11:38.940 I was up to probably three.

01:11:40.120 Just like getting my questions ready.

01:11:41.360 So I was like, I have to make sure I sleep.

01:11:43.660 And he's like, dude, we were so scared, man.

01:11:46.340 He's like, because we saw them, like, they thought they were rappelling into the home.

01:11:50.800 And I was like, what?

01:11:53.180 You thought I killed myself? 1.00

01:11:54.500 What the fuck, dude? 1.00

01:11:57.000 We just assumed you fucking killed yourself. 1.00

01:11:59.060 So yeah. 1.00

01:12:00.120 Oh, and they had a van outside that some weird term on it, like threw people off.

01:12:04.420 Yeah.

01:12:04.760 And the black curtains around your house would be.

01:12:06.740 Yeah.

01:12:06.980 I think people thought, but that's what people thought.

01:12:08.640 That makes sense.

01:12:09.100 That kind of makes more sense.

01:12:10.140 It was morgue-esque, you know?

01:12:11.560 Yeah, it was like so gruesome that they were like, we got to-

01:12:13.860 But they also had this like Stan's Bakery van or something.

01:12:16.300 Like it was definitely, they kind of like play this old cat and they're like, what is 0.96

01:12:20.880 kind of fucking happening here? 0.99

01:12:23.000 That's crazy. 0.99

01:12:24.020 It was super crazy, dude.

01:12:25.440 Stan's Bakery, you have snipers and like, yeah, we just got to get these cupcakes in.

01:12:28.440 We'll be right back.

01:12:29.700 Yeah.

01:12:30.380 There's some wake treats.

01:12:31.700 Yeah.

01:12:32.800 Just so there's some viewing of the body.

01:12:35.180 Hey, first come, first serve, guys.

01:12:37.900 Dude, that was crazy, though.

01:12:39.280 That was one of the craziest things that had ever happened.

01:12:42.480 For sure.

01:12:43.260 But he comes in and I was like, hey, man, thanks for coming.

01:12:46.400 I was like, you know, just want to let you know, we don't have any, we're not like a gotcha

01:12:50.560 type of show.

01:12:51.400 For sure.

01:12:51.720 You know, just looking forward to having a nice conversation, which is what I tell anybody.

01:12:55.220 Yep.

01:12:55.960 And he's like, whatever, man, it's all good.

01:12:58.860 Yes.

01:12:59.200 Let's have a chat.

01:13:00.260 And that was it.

01:13:01.100 And it was fun.

01:13:02.540 You know?

01:13:03.520 Yeah, man.

01:13:04.260 It was interesting.

01:13:05.140 Yeah.

01:13:05.300 I feel bad.

01:13:05.820 Everyone's so still hyped up about this stuff.

01:13:07.420 I honestly think if you look at it, I don't hate it when people lose anything.

01:13:10.660 You know, it's tough when there's a winner and a loser.

01:13:12.600 Dude, I was in the grocery store the day of, I guess like he got elected that night and

01:13:18.400 then, you know, in the three in the morning or whatever, he won at three in the morning.

01:13:21.340 And then I was in the grocery store the next day and they have like magazines in the grocery

01:13:25.640 store.

01:13:26.140 This magazine was just Kamala or Kamala.

01:13:29.960 And it was just a picture of her.

01:13:31.020 I didn't even know what magazine it was.

01:13:32.220 It was just her name and her.

01:13:33.740 I got like real sad for her. 0.98

01:13:34.920 I was like, damn, dude, that's so bad. 0.96

01:13:36.200 If I like just lost, I saw like a magazine with just me on it. 0.99

01:13:38.940 I'd be, I'd cry.

01:13:40.280 Yeah.

01:13:40.580 So I felt pretty bad for her. 0.99

01:13:41.640 I was like, damn, that really sucks for that lady. 1.00

01:13:43.640 She just, I mean, that dude, that I, people they've spent, I think a billion dollars on 0.99

01:13:48.840 the campaign.

01:13:49.340 It just shows you that it's must there, but it also, then if that's the, if safe, okay,

01:13:54.500 they spend that much on a campaign, right?

01:13:55.860 Both these sides spend a ton of money.

01:13:58.640 But if the, if there's just like these powers in the background doing things, it's just

01:14:02.540 like, why would they, if it's not even real, say the office isn't even, you know, it's

01:14:06.600 just for show.

01:14:07.920 It just seems like you wouldn't waste that much money.

01:14:10.520 So there must really be, I think there is, man.

01:14:12.840 I think there really is.

01:14:13.700 You get in and it's like power and it's just teams.

01:14:16.080 Yeah.

01:14:16.260 It's like you're on this team.

01:14:17.340 And this is on that team, you know, could it all be organized?

01:14:20.380 Like, that would be pretty elaborate to like set it all up when you can reality just be

01:14:24.140 like, yeah, we're, you know, we're putting this guy in have, they could just have the

01:14:26.940 coolest guy ever just come up every time.

01:14:29.560 Be like, yo, we love this guy.

01:14:30.820 And they can meanwhile, just be doing whatever.

01:14:32.260 But yeah, dude, I think, I guess it all is real.

01:14:35.480 You know, I think it's, it's real.

01:14:36.540 And they just, there's like groups and lobbyists and certain, I don't, I don't, that's where

01:14:41.440 I kind of lose it.

01:14:42.340 It was interesting.

01:14:43.260 That's for sure.

01:14:44.000 And I'll, I'll say who made the whole thing happen.

01:14:46.500 Oh, Kamala reportedly spent a hundred thousand dollars on building a set for her appearance 0.99

01:14:50.840 on Call Her Daddy.

01:14:51.880 Like, dude, why?

01:14:52.660 Here's the setting question.

01:14:53.760 So they rebuilt, they rebuilt their own set, I guess.

01:14:56.740 Well, cause they wanted, I think a host to come to her. 0.98

01:14:59.540 So I think she didn't want to go anywhere.

01:15:01.140 So she built the set. 0.72

01:15:02.280 But I wonder if she has, that's such a, I mean, you know, it's just kind of weird.

01:15:05.960 It's like, just go there.

01:15:07.500 Right.

01:15:07.920 I wonder if she may have a thing where she doesn't like going, like sometimes I don't

01:15:13.860 like sleeping at people's houses or whatever I'm talking about.

01:15:17.460 I wonder if she has that. 0.97

01:15:18.760 She can't shit anywhere else, but her house maybe could be, which is where people should 1.00

01:15:22.860 say people who are like transient shit. 1.00

01:15:26.460 Hey man. 1.00

01:15:27.160 Hey man.

01:15:27.660 Sorry.

01:15:27.960 I agree though, but I always want to be home.

01:15:31.660 That's my thing.

01:15:32.160 I always want to be, I'm getting a little, I was like pretty guarded about that, but now

01:15:35.960 I'm like just letting it rip.

01:15:36.980 I've been flying more.

01:15:37.780 So I'm just kind of like, whatever, man.

01:15:39.700 But I do agree.

01:15:40.680 Home is where, it's where the heart is truly. 0.99

01:15:43.160 Like I do want to shit at home every time. 0.99

01:15:44.780 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:45.340 I agree with you there.

01:15:46.060 You should get more, like you should get like money back or something. 1.00

01:15:49.100 If you shit at home. 0.99

01:15:50.260 You should, you should, dude. 1.00

01:15:51.960 Right.

01:15:52.180 You should be a tax writer, like a credit or something.

01:15:53.840 Yeah.

01:15:54.660 Cause it is, but it's dude, just, I also, 0.97

01:15:57.960 you know, the, the, the violence of shitting that's occurring in airport bathroom. 0.94

01:16:01.500 It's like, it's upsetting. 0.99

01:16:03.720 People are shitting so hard in those. 0.96

01:16:05.560 I mean, we, I don't know why we're back to this, but. 0.99

01:16:08.300 Oh, people are shitting at top speed. 0.93

01:16:09.920 It's crazy. 0.98

01:16:10.840 That's the craziest thing to me to ever is when somebody shits at full blast speed. 0.98

01:16:14.740 Like, are you out of your mind? 0.99

01:16:17.040 You're going to hurt yourself.

01:16:18.080 I, I, from what I like from hearing self guy, from here in public bathrooms, most people

01:16:22.640 are, are in there just having like religious experiences.

01:16:26.120 Just being there.

01:16:26.840 It's like, yeah.

01:16:28.360 Like full ayahuasca dumpster.

01:16:29.940 They're just like blowing it out.

01:16:31.500 It's crazy.

01:16:32.880 Wow. 1.00

01:16:33.340 Just slinging disciples out of your butt. 1.00

01:16:35.660 Everyone's fucked up, dude. 1.00

01:16:36.700 Oh, they need Bobby Kennedy to get all the crap out of the food. 1.00

01:16:39.600 I was shitting to death into the bathroom. 0.99

01:16:41.480 But bro, there's also a part of me that I feel like, do you think we can get more together? 0.97

01:16:49.400 Or do you think we should just have two Americas?

01:16:51.440 Do you think?

01:16:52.460 No, because dude, we're like, people don't realize it, but the parties are rubbing off

01:16:55.720 on each other so much.

01:16:57.620 Like now, like, like, well, most people want the same stuff.

01:17:01.520 Most people do, but I'm saying like the Republicans now have been so like, let's say conservatives

01:17:06.000 are so annoyed by liberals that now they're like going out of their way to be so not racist.

01:17:11.920 Like, oh yeah, you think we're racist?

01:17:13.120 Check this out. 0.91

01:17:13.760 We're going to employ like 47 black dudes now. 0.82

01:17:16.480 How do you like, they're doing it almost.

01:17:17.640 I mean, I'm not saying they're doing it despite them, but it's like they have gotten just

01:17:21.040 way more inclusive.

01:17:21.980 Like every, you know, like the conservatives and everything for it was like only pretty

01:17:25.140 much only all white guys.

01:17:26.200 Now there's a lot of different people in like the conservative movement. 1.00

01:17:30.580 So it's like the liberals bring stuff up, the conservatives are like, shut the fuck 1.00

01:17:34.220 up. 0.99

01:17:34.400 And then they actually do kind of do a lot of the stuff, but you know, not even realizing

01:17:37.800 it.

01:17:37.980 Yeah.

01:17:38.620 So they're kind of both like balancing each other, but people, you know, they're all

01:17:41.520 just caught up in like the, like the primal and tribal aspect of it.

01:17:45.080 But it's like, things are going pretty fucking well, dude. 0.71

01:17:47.740 Oh, first, you know, white house chief of staff in history. 0.95

01:17:50.860 Yeah, dude.

01:17:51.540 Like all this stuff is happening.

01:17:52.840 Cause it's like, they're like Susie Wiles and she's Pat Summerall, John Madden's former

01:17:58.220 broadcast partner's daughter.

01:18:00.320 Oh, interesting.

01:18:02.920 Yeah, dude.

01:18:03.480 I'm telling you, once we just like stop the nonsense of like bitterly arguing about everything,

01:18:07.840 it's going to be pretty chill.

01:18:09.520 Yeah.

01:18:09.840 Ben Carson, I think he's going to put back into, I like some of his ideas.

01:18:12.720 B Carson.

01:18:13.260 Yeah.

01:18:13.380 That guy's kind of cool.

01:18:14.120 He's like a surgeon.

01:18:14.900 Oh, rise and shine Carson.

01:18:16.420 Dude, that guy, he's got dead asleep.

01:18:18.700 Super.

01:18:19.220 I like the guy.

01:18:21.100 His blood, bro.

01:18:21.940 He's got his blood pressure.

01:18:24.540 Who's the guy?

01:18:25.420 It's just like a synth drum. 0.99

01:18:26.820 There's fucking, there's not much popping, dude. 0.99

01:18:30.260 The one dude I like, Byron something. 1.00

01:18:32.080 He's a, he's a black conservative guy from Florida.

01:18:34.220 Byron Davis?

01:18:34.940 Byron, I think Byron, is it Byron Davis?

01:18:37.000 He's nice.

01:18:37.660 That guy's, I saw he was on the Breakfast Club.

01:18:39.540 No, not Byron Davis.

01:18:40.340 He plays basketball.

01:18:41.080 The Byron, he's like a governor from, there he, that's my bro right there.

01:18:47.920 Byron Donalds.

01:18:49.420 That's a good bro right there.

01:18:51.580 Well, it's definitely interesting to see that everything's getting diverse.

01:18:53.860 What was that tweet that Adam McKay had?

01:18:55.820 I thought that that was something, when I read that, it resonated with me.

01:19:01.500 I think, I don't know.

01:19:04.540 But yeah, like I said, it's like.

01:19:05.920 I have it one sec.

01:19:08.140 Yeah, I do.

01:19:09.080 Like I said, I think people are getting real doom and gloom, but it's like.

01:19:12.060 Yeah.

01:19:12.780 I'm of the minority opinion.

01:19:13.760 I think things are going to get pretty sweet, actually.

01:19:15.420 Yeah.

01:19:15.740 Who would have guessed lying about Biden's cognitive health for two years? 1.00

01:19:19.080 That shit made me so mad, dude. 1.00

01:19:21.520 Just taking advantage of an old man. 1.00

01:19:23.880 Like, it's just not cool.

01:19:25.020 You know what I'm saying?

01:19:25.420 His family shouldn't have allowed it.

01:19:26.920 I know, dude.

01:19:27.760 You know, it's just not cool.

01:19:28.760 Because then you're lying to him also, right?

01:19:30.540 So you're placating him.

01:19:32.400 Like you're just, you're using, it just, it seems like cruelty to a human, right?

01:19:37.460 Like refusing to do an open conversation for a new nominee, never mentioning public health

01:19:41.460 care, embracing fracking, and year-long slaughter of children in Gaza.

01:19:45.460 That's, that to me was one thing it definitely was like.

01:19:49.040 Yeah, they blew it so hard.

01:19:50.780 I mean, again, if you were.

01:19:51.720 Some of the stuff I don't know, but the children in Gaza thing, and I think just taking advantage 1.00

01:19:55.440 of Biden, it just felt like, is this party really doing this?

01:19:59.360 Or are they, what's happening here?

01:20:01.760 Well, it's like, all they had to do was, if she could have came out and be like, bro,

01:20:05.740 we all saw it, dude's old as hell. 0.98

01:20:08.900 You know, let's not, let's not, let's not, let's not fucking, instead she was like, he's 0.99

01:20:12.120 fine. 0.98

01:20:12.620 Like, well, why did they take him out?

01:20:14.240 It's like, you can't do that.

01:20:15.560 Yeah. 0.98

01:20:15.820 All they had to do, like, obviously the dude was fucking going nuts and getting old. 0.99

01:20:19.240 Come on, let's move on. 0.97

01:20:20.360 It was just, it's a bummer.

01:20:21.800 They were just lying.

01:20:22.660 You know when someone's lying and you're like, dude, you're bullshitting me.

01:20:24.680 It was just that and everyone could see it.

01:20:26.460 And it was just like, and now too, with I, you know, not to, you know, fluff the podcasting

01:20:31.980 too much, but it's like now they can't go on like the sound buddy little

01:20:35.520 things.

01:20:35.820 They have to go sit down and like answer actual questions.

01:20:37.800 And people now, like, I didn't know, I couldn't tell what interviews were edited when I was

01:20:42.260 younger.

01:20:42.520 Now people are like more savvy about media.

01:20:45.280 So they're able to be like, oh, that's, that was a weird jump.

01:20:47.980 They cut something out.

01:20:48.900 They go, well, here's the whole thing.

01:20:49.800 Yeah.

01:20:50.280 So now you have to be able to sit down and actually communicate rather than like hitting

01:20:53.300 talking points and like engineering, you know, people's ideas on things.

01:20:57.300 Do you think that Rogan's endorsement helped Trump win or do you think it had any effect?

01:21:02.200 I don't, it didn't hurt, but I think it, uh, uh, uh, I didn't, didn't hurt, but just what

01:21:07.560 he does, I think helped him win for sure.

01:21:09.040 It's like having, setting a standard where like politicians now have to go sit down for

01:21:14.460 at least a two hour conversation.

01:21:16.640 Yeah.

01:21:17.000 Cause really what he did over the past years is just investigate.

01:21:19.580 I mean, he asked so many questions about everything to all types of people.

01:21:23.040 So you learned so much and he's not, he's not a gotcha guy either.

01:21:26.520 So he's good at just being like, like, help me understand this.

01:21:28.920 And that's when people really get kind of flushed out where it's like, if they're not

01:21:32.380 making sense and you know, he's, he's pretty adamant about like, I don't get that.

01:21:36.120 That doesn't make sense.

01:21:37.180 You know, I'll, I'm a weak interviewer.

01:21:38.540 I'll be like, okay.

01:21:39.540 I think it won't make sense.

01:21:40.500 That's cool.

01:21:41.520 I get burnt out.

01:21:42.580 I get exhausted.

01:21:43.920 He said, dude, I was in there yesterday and it was like, I was just like, I feel like

01:21:48.140 I've been kind of losing my mind this week.

01:21:50.680 Really?

01:21:51.140 Yeah.

01:21:51.320 I don't know what was going on.

01:21:52.260 I just was like getting like a lot of paranoia.

01:21:54.680 It's the worst.

01:21:56.240 Yeah.

01:21:57.160 And I don't know if I met it.

01:21:59.000 I don't know if I missed a day. 0.95

01:22:00.120 I don't know what happened, but I was like, fucking thought I was going crazy yesterday. 0.93

01:22:04.720 It's kind of crazy. 0.93

01:22:05.460 We have days when you start asking people like, am I okay?

01:22:07.220 You know, that's a weird thing.

01:22:08.860 Yeah.

01:22:09.420 That is, it's so hard to explain, but I'll just be like walking sometimes and I'll just

01:22:13.360 get like a feeling where I'm like, bro, I'm fucking losing it right now. 0.62

01:22:16.940 And it's like, that is the worst. 0.87

01:22:18.860 You're like, yeah.

01:22:19.180 And it just kept spent the whole day.

01:22:20.660 And it was like the whole day was like that, man.

01:22:22.320 And then I had to go in there and I felt very nervous.

01:22:25.120 Oh, God.

01:22:25.300 So then you felt like you're under a microscope.

01:22:27.680 Yeah.

01:22:28.060 And yeah.

01:22:29.960 What do you do to keep yourself kind of on the square?

01:22:32.340 Is there like any kind of program?

01:22:34.200 Yeah.

01:22:34.540 Usually go to AA meetings.

01:22:36.580 That helps.

01:22:37.560 Yeah.

01:22:37.880 Do yoga.

01:22:39.340 I got hurt a couple, like a month ago.

01:22:42.440 Some guy squeezed me after a football game.

01:22:44.100 I was in when Vanderbilt beat Alabama.

01:22:45.640 I was there.

01:22:46.320 And this guy just squeezed me so much.

01:22:49.320 What?

01:22:49.620 And then all the players, some guy on the sidelines.

01:22:52.540 Yeah.

01:22:52.920 Some devout, just brother had really squeezed me. 0.99

01:22:55.920 I mean, like I was a fucking, like he was going to brush his teeth with me. 1.00

01:22:59.520 That sucks. 1.00

01:23:00.380 He got it. 0.99

01:23:00.860 Yeah.

01:23:01.000 I was just like, ah, where, where'd it get you?

01:23:04.420 Over here is rib. 1.00

01:23:05.460 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:23:06.340 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:06.680 But then all the players had just won and they were, ah, and they were, and then everybody

01:23:10.060 squeezed me, dude.

01:23:11.280 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:11.600 And they're fucked. 1.00

01:23:12.420 So you couldn't do the yoga. 1.00

01:23:13.580 For like, yeah, for weeks.

01:23:14.660 And so then my mental starts going down.

01:23:16.360 Yeah.

01:23:16.740 That's us right there.

01:23:18.040 Yeah.

01:23:18.220 That's pretty sure.

01:23:19.000 That's Cheryl Jr. right there, I believe.

01:23:20.820 That's amazing, dude.

01:23:22.120 We got that coach, Clark Lee.

01:23:23.500 Oh, that's Skinner Jr. right there. 1.00

01:23:25.300 Damn. 0.99

01:23:25.480 That thing's pretty heavy too, man. 0.99

01:23:26.480 Those coolers aren't.

01:23:27.300 Yeah.

01:23:27.520 Decent amount of water in it.

01:23:28.800 Nice.

01:23:29.340 Oh, you got the lady too. 1.00

01:23:30.280 We got him.

01:23:30.800 He's cool.

01:23:31.480 That's awesome. 0.98

01:23:32.540 That's fucking awesome. 1.00

01:23:34.200 Damn. 1.00

01:23:34.380 So you just got squeezed by the strongest dudes in the country. 1.00

01:23:36.840 Yes.

01:23:37.820 Yeah.

01:23:38.100 Yeah.

01:23:38.160 That's what happened.

01:23:38.820 And then, so yeah.

01:23:39.500 But anyway, I'm, yeah, I'm not whining about it, but it's just like, you can't do anything,

01:23:43.060 bro.

01:23:43.140 You go to open your refrigerator and that suction on the refrigerator.

01:23:46.260 Oh, that hurts.

01:23:47.220 Yeah. 0.98

01:23:47.300 When your ribs are fucked up, it hurts to breathe every breath. 1.00

01:23:49.780 You're like, fuck. 1.00

01:23:51.360 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:51.560 And then you're pushing on the side of your body while you're doing everything.

01:23:54.240 Nah.

01:23:54.560 And you're walking around like this all day. 0.99

01:23:56.500 And like, you're fucking like one of those guys, like putting away a pocket watch or something 1.00

01:23:59.800 like in the twenties or whatever, like that little handicapped peanut that they fucking 1.00

01:24:03.860 sent out there. 0.99

01:24:05.180 Yeah.

01:24:05.920 And you, and there's nothing you can do when your ribs hurt.

01:24:08.180 There's no like sling or you can just, you have to, and yoga is just so much breathing

01:24:11.740 every breath.

01:24:12.460 You'd be like, and then you do like the, like this thing.

01:24:15.380 Oh, that would hurt.

01:24:17.080 So yeah, just that just, and I was just kind of losing my mind, dude. 0.99

01:24:20.000 So then you're going there and you're like, am I saying crazy shit? 1.00

01:24:22.480 Fuck dude. 1.00

01:24:22.780 Started to get real paranoid. 1.00

01:24:24.020 Yeah.

01:24:24.860 I will say this though.

01:24:25.900 I think the person that won that election, I think the person that changed it was Dana White.

01:24:30.940 Really?

01:24:31.780 Undeniably.

01:24:32.860 That's why do you think that?

01:24:34.100 Because he got Trump in the podcasts.

01:24:37.280 He made it happen.

01:24:38.660 Okay.

01:24:38.860 Yeah.

01:24:39.040 He, um, he did it.

01:24:41.580 Yeah.

01:24:42.340 He, uh, is just, you, he did that.

01:24:47.560 Yeah.

01:24:47.960 He made that happen.

01:24:49.140 Yeah.

01:24:49.320 That makes sense.

01:24:49.840 So he was the one being like, you got to do these.

01:24:51.760 He's the one who like talked to Joe about it for years.

01:24:54.440 It's been in discussion.

01:24:56.020 Yeah.

01:24:56.200 I don't think Joe Rogan was going to do that.

01:24:58.120 And then he did.

01:24:59.320 Yeah.

01:24:59.640 You know, and, um, that put, that did kind of push it.

01:25:02.920 I think that helped actually.

01:25:04.200 Yeah.

01:25:04.440 Dana made all that happen.

01:25:05.640 Dude, it got like, that was the thing too.

01:25:07.560 It was like, just you, if you want to look at YouTube views, that's kind of like, I don't

01:25:10.960 know if that like works with polling, but it's like the Rogan Trump episode.

01:25:15.040 I don't, what is it at?

01:25:15.960 Like 30 million.

01:25:16.960 I know it was, it was at like millions quickly.

01:25:19.100 The call, call me daddy.

01:25:21.320 That podcast with Kamala was like, I don't know if it had a million.

01:25:25.780 It did.

01:25:26.160 I think it might have 47 million, 47 million.

01:25:28.960 If you look up the call her daddy or call him daddy or whatever, call me daddy, excuse

01:25:32.560 me.

01:25:33.380 Um, I'll call her daddy.

01:25:34.780 There you go.

01:25:35.660 It got.

01:25:37.800 812,000.

01:25:38.480 812,000.

01:25:40.000 But that's just a clip.

01:25:41.060 Now here's the problem with call her daddy.

01:25:42.400 Not bragging.

01:25:42.860 My YouTube special did better.

01:25:45.880 I'm kidding.

01:25:46.800 But that's what I'm saying.

01:25:47.540 That's, that is a gauge of public interest.

01:25:49.600 And it's like public interest in my opinion, probably translates to voting.

01:25:53.340 I think, I don't know.

01:25:54.660 Or at least people come in to experience the person, you know?

01:25:57.240 True.

01:25:57.840 Um, yeah, definitely interesting.

01:26:00.940 You can't watch the full episodes because they're on Sirius.

01:26:03.720 Is that right?

01:26:05.180 Sirius?

01:26:06.540 Yeah.

01:26:06.960 They only put a clip.

01:26:08.100 Yeah.

01:26:08.640 So you can't see the full episodes of these podcasts either.

01:26:11.800 So you don't know, um, what really.

01:26:14.620 Well, you know, I wish her the best.

01:26:15.920 I'm not like, yeah, that's the thing. 0.98

01:26:16.840 I'm not like, I fucking hate that lady. 1.00

01:26:18.340 I'm like, I felt sad. 0.98

01:26:19.900 I didn't, I personally didn't really want her to win.

01:26:22.280 Cause I was just like, you know, I, I think Trump will probably maybe stop the wars faster.

01:26:27.120 It's my hope.

01:26:28.500 But well, I just, I don't know.

01:26:29.960 I just, I don't know what's happening.

01:26:31.880 I feel like there's a changing of these parties because you have former Democrats who are now

01:26:36.800 Republicans, but they'd also don't even get along with half of the people in office.

01:26:42.240 Yeah.

01:26:42.780 People are sick of politicians overall.

01:26:45.300 Big time.

01:26:45.740 Um, AIPAC and lobbyists like have infiltrated what it seems like politics overall.

01:26:53.740 It's like, for sure.

01:26:54.760 And people, you can't hide the information from people anymore.

01:26:58.000 Yeah.

01:26:58.340 Well, dude, the weird thing was, is like, they started like the, the Democrats started being

01:27:03.560 like, I mean, George Bush was great and like, you know, Cheney and all that stuff.

01:27:07.640 And it's like, why, why are they pumped on them?

01:27:09.980 It was, that to me was just weird where it's like, they're all dark.

01:27:12.560 And then I think at the last minute they started being like, yeah, we actually want strong borders

01:27:16.460 and all that stuff too.

01:27:17.260 And just cause they were like, this is working.

01:27:19.360 So, you know, it's, I think it's all part of a bigger process that is for the best where

01:27:23.440 it's like, like you were saying, the Republican party is totally different, like way different. 0.97

01:27:27.100 Remember like 1995, it was like, it was, it was like send people to jail for fucking, 0.93

01:27:33.360 you know, 30 years for crack and all this stuff. 0.86

01:27:35.400 And now it's like, we should get some of these guys out of prison, you know, which everyone's

01:27:38.920 doing now, but that's because of like a liberal worldview.

01:27:41.960 And that's been, they got to get a couple more brothers in the party too.

01:27:44.220 I think, I think, Oh, it's common, dude.

01:27:45.820 I think it's common.

01:27:46.660 But here's the thing too.

01:27:47.620 It's like, so you have like the liberal people have been like, yeah, we shouldn't send people 0.98

01:27:50.180 to jail for having crack on them for 40 fucking years. 0.95

01:27:52.700 And then you're like, yeah, that's a good idea. 0.99

01:27:54.100 But then with the immigration thing, it's like, I, I personally have no problem with

01:27:58.260 immigrants, but it's like, you can only have so many, like, that's a reality, right? 1.00

01:28:02.520 It's just, you're having a party.

01:28:03.900 You can't invite the whole city to your party.

01:28:05.980 It won't work.

01:28:06.980 So the same thing happens with the border and it's a shame because people want to escape

01:28:10.500 like, you know, crushing poverty, but the Republicans are right in that you can't like, and it's

01:28:15.820 like, if you're like, just thinking on a human level, you're like, I don't want to like kick 0.98

01:28:18.440 some guy out or have some guy come against the wall and be like, get the fuck back. 1.00

01:28:21.700 Of course not, but you do have to do that. 0.95

01:28:24.600 But you also, I think there's ways you can do it in an organized pattern.

01:28:28.260 Yeah, true.

01:28:28.860 So you're properly vetting people.

01:28:30.780 And then they used to have a system where people could serve.

01:28:34.200 They could, you could almost adopt a homeless person or whatever who came across the border

01:28:38.420 and you were their sponsor.

01:28:40.180 That's cool.

01:28:40.820 I'm super cool.

01:28:41.780 So then you as a member of your country, right?

01:28:44.400 Or that you were born into, sure.

01:28:46.020 It's a blessing, right?

01:28:47.360 Easy for us to say that.

01:28:48.760 But then you get to be part of the, of immigrate. 0.72

01:28:53.580 You know, it's like there's an actual connection there.

01:28:56.320 So, you know, I don't know.

01:28:58.180 That's a good, I like that idea though.

01:28:59.580 Yeah.

01:28:59.740 It's easy to say stuff.

01:29:00.900 Let's change the topic.

01:29:01.740 What else can we talk about?

01:29:03.140 But I was saying too, then you can kind of like set them up and like contest against each

01:29:06.700 other.

01:29:07.540 Oh yeah.

01:29:08.000 Well, people have had that, I've heard that material for like doing like a American Ninja

01:29:13.980 Warrior to come over the border or whatever.

01:29:15.420 That would be nice too.

01:29:16.060 Yeah.

01:29:16.380 I was saying if you had like, if I adopted a guy, you adopted a guy, we could kind of

01:29:20.380 make them compete.

01:29:21.420 Yeah.

01:29:21.660 Like battle bots.

01:29:22.640 For the glory of our houses.

01:29:23.580 Yeah.

01:29:23.880 Yeah.

01:29:25.700 That would be so sick.

01:29:27.020 That would be awesome.

01:29:27.940 In like a fun way.

01:29:28.820 You know what I mean?

01:29:29.080 Totally.

01:29:29.480 And you raise money for helping people that are coming over.

01:29:34.280 Exactly. 1.00

01:29:35.020 Fuck. 1.00

01:29:35.660 Winner, family comes over. 1.00

01:29:37.300 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:37.560 Loser's family pays. 0.99

01:29:39.260 That'd be a great dude. 0.64

01:29:40.500 I had this idea for a game show, right?

01:29:41.860 So check this out.

01:29:42.620 It's, you get to like kind of lifeguard chairs, right?

01:29:46.940 And you have, you put like kind of cellophane, like kind of like some light blue plastic around

01:29:53.560 them, right?

01:29:53.760 You can still see through it.

01:29:55.020 And at the bottom of the, at the bottom is a scale, right?

01:30:00.420 And you get two guys who have eaten for like a week, haven't gone to the bathroom.

01:30:05.420 Whoever can do the most poop at, in a given amount of time wins a car or something, maybe

01:30:13.580 not a car, maybe a motorcycle.

01:30:15.480 Dude, that's an awesome game.

01:30:17.100 So you're inside the lifeguard chair.

01:30:19.060 You're wrapped in blue.

01:30:20.280 What's the blue wrapping?

01:30:21.420 Just to kind of-

01:30:21.720 Just because you don't want to see it.

01:30:22.840 You don't want to see it.

01:30:23.720 Yeah.

01:30:23.740 Like that'll work people out.

01:30:24.920 But if you see the scale going up or something, it'll at least excite people.

01:30:27.760 You don't think the viewers at home are going to see the pile?

01:30:30.260 I think you want to be able to see it, but you want to see it vague.

01:30:32.400 So you want it to be like opaque, like-

01:30:33.840 Yeah, I see it.

01:30:36.540 Just like a general shape.

01:30:37.960 Yeah.

01:30:38.560 Have like a, like a frosted glass over something.

01:30:40.600 Yes.

01:30:40.800 That's what I mean.

01:30:41.220 Frosted glass.

01:30:41.940 That would be nice.

01:30:42.980 Yeah.

01:30:43.300 That's a great show.

01:30:44.200 Thanks, man.

01:30:44.860 That is a fantastic show.

01:30:46.520 Onto the scale would be nice.

01:30:47.680 I recently just did a thing where you, you have to poop at home and then like scoop it 0.56

01:30:51.860 and mail it to get like results to see like what they think of your body.

01:30:54.440 What are you talking about?

01:30:55.020 Dude, I swear to God, you can do that. 0.98

01:30:56.880 You can mail it to poop.

01:30:58.500 I don't know, like a scientist. 1.00

01:30:59.900 You're a fucking science teacher? 1.00

01:31:01.780 Who are you sending that shit? 1.00

01:31:03.160 A scientist? 1.00

01:31:04.440 You just send it to a scientist and they're like-

01:31:06.060 Oh my God, bro.

01:31:07.640 This is incredible. 0.99

01:31:08.560 You've been fucking compromised, homie. 1.00

01:31:10.680 You're mailing poop of your own to someone? 1.00

01:31:12.960 I did, yeah.

01:31:14.280 How much?

01:31:14.800 I want to see it with my microbiome.

01:31:15.640 Dude, that was the thing.

01:31:16.800 I thought you did a whole turd. 0.66

01:31:19.240 They like give you a, like a thing to put on your toilet paper. 0.61

01:31:23.060 Or they put a thing to give it on your toilet.

01:31:24.700 It's like a paper thing that sticks. 0.98

01:31:26.060 And it has like a little, like, you know, like the dick part of your boxers? 0.97

01:31:29.020 Yeah. 0.99

01:31:29.300 It has like that, but for a turd.

01:31:31.340 So there's like this thing.

01:31:32.340 Yeah, it's like that.

01:31:33.180 And then it catches it.

01:31:34.500 And then you have to like scoop.

01:31:36.720 I thought you just pick the turd up and put it in a jar.

01:31:38.600 But no, you scoop like the smallest amount and then you put it in, like shake it up in

01:31:42.640 a solution.

01:31:43.780 And then-

01:31:45.200 They just tell you like what's up with your microbiome.

01:31:47.960 Tell you like if they think you're chill or not.

01:31:50.300 That was what it was.

01:31:51.060 It was that one.

01:31:51.860 What if they told you where your stepdad lives?

01:31:54.620 We'll tell you.

01:31:56.220 Yeah, I don't know, man.

01:31:57.240 I also think a lot of this stuff too, after doing it, I think it's just a way for companies

01:32:01.960 to sell you vitamins because they could be, based on this, we recommend X, Y, and Z.

01:32:05.180 And once you've made it, once you, you almost want to buy it so they don't tell anybody

01:32:09.600 about your poop. 0.78

01:32:10.140 I feel like you'd be like, don't tell anybody about poop. 0.88

01:32:11.800 It's true.

01:32:12.400 I'll buy the vitamins.

01:32:13.140 It's true.

01:32:14.740 They're like, yeah, let's keep this between us.

01:32:16.160 Yeah.

01:32:16.540 Yeah.

01:32:16.740 Oh, dude, if they could be like, yeah, that guy, oh, we had his poop.

01:32:19.600 We smelled.

01:32:20.120 I guess we, me and Brittany sent him in at the same time.

01:32:23.840 And my test was run first.

01:32:25.760 And I kept telling her that they opened her vial and shut down the lab.

01:32:30.780 I was like, yeah, the whole place had to evacuate.

01:32:32.520 They sent me an email.

01:32:33.300 So they opened yours.

01:32:36.420 That's love, dude.

01:32:37.420 That's a fun, that's a fun one.

01:32:38.540 That's a good thing about having a wife too.

01:32:39.920 You can just bother them.

01:32:41.160 And do cool stuff like that. 1.00

01:32:42.780 Take shits. 1.00

01:32:43.320 Yeah. 1.00

01:32:43.560 Shit in the tubes and mail it and just both wait for your shit test. 1.00

01:32:46.320 It's kind of, that was kind of fun. 1.00

01:32:47.340 Yeah.

01:32:47.880 That's like jumping over the broom or whatever in some cultures.

01:32:51.680 Yeah, exactly.

01:32:53.500 Wow, dude.

01:32:54.340 I, were we just talking about medicine?

01:32:57.340 Yeah, I think so.

01:32:58.660 Well, we got off the politics stuff.

01:33:00.060 So we're off.

01:33:00.360 We probably should have, huh?

01:33:01.140 I feel like people are over it.

01:33:03.040 But it's also, it's like, oh, what was I going to ask you?

01:33:05.620 Do you think, oh, look at this.

01:33:09.080 Is this like a new slave or whatever?

01:33:11.420 Oh, this is like the Tesla thing, bro.

01:33:15.640 Wow.

01:33:17.260 Yeah, dude.

01:33:18.100 I don't know.

01:33:18.640 Elon rolled out some bots too. 0.83

01:33:20.380 What the heck? 0.99

01:33:22.340 That's a slave. 1.00

01:33:23.200 Where is that?

01:33:24.020 This isn't Virginia, is it?

01:33:26.700 That's like.

01:33:28.120 I am not getting that, dude.

01:33:29.500 It looks like Portuguese.

01:33:29.800 Yeah, that's like a different country.

01:33:32.300 Dude.

01:33:32.340 Yeah, Tesla, Tesla, or Musk.

01:33:34.640 Oh, boy.

01:33:36.000 I would like a little robo lawnmower, though, I'll be honest. 0.99

01:33:39.080 Damn, look at that guy. 0.99

01:33:40.200 Ripped, dude. 1.00

01:33:41.220 Dude, that'd be so crazy.

01:33:42.940 They should keep the bots like R2D2. 0.99

01:33:44.800 They shouldn't give them like legs and arms and shit. 0.98

01:33:46.900 Yeah, you're right, actually. 0.98

01:33:48.140 Well, you won't need these guys looking like people. 0.99

01:33:50.400 Because then somebody is going to start fucking them. 0.99

01:33:51.920 I mean, it's already happened, I'm sure. 1.00

01:33:54.400 Ugh.

01:33:55.100 I like the way that thing's caught.

01:33:56.220 That thing's savage. 0.99

01:33:57.280 But then your kid will like, you're like, mow the yard.

01:33:59.200 And your kid's like, I don't want to.

01:34:01.000 My thumb chair.

01:34:02.080 Yeah.

01:34:04.260 That's true, actually. 1.00

01:34:05.100 That's kind of bullshit. 0.99

01:34:05.900 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:34:06.500 I'm trying to think of what chores we had.

01:34:08.320 Oh, dude. 0.91

01:34:08.720 It was ridiculous, man. 0.87

01:34:09.640 Dude, do you think it's weird? 0.83

01:34:11.880 This is something that doesn't get talked about a lot.

01:34:13.420 It's like, where do stepdads go when the divorce happens, you know?

01:34:17.680 Because they kind of don't get to see the kids anymore, you know?

01:34:20.280 Oh, I didn't think about that.

01:34:21.520 You're saying when you get divorced and you get divorced, you basically break up with the stepdad.

01:34:25.940 I think they go back to the apartment, dude.

01:34:28.520 They're straight to an apartment complex.

01:34:30.060 That has a pool at it.

01:34:31.220 Yeah.

01:34:31.480 I think the representative from an apartment complex comes and picks them up in a black limousine,

01:34:36.480 takes them back, and they just wait and queue to be stepdads.

01:34:40.920 It's kind of crazy.

01:34:41.880 You never think about that.

01:34:42.720 Because a stepdad gets involved in a kid's life for a couple of years, for better or for worse.

01:34:46.680 Yeah.

01:34:47.080 But then they have to just pick out.

01:34:49.780 I think some might stay kind of in, you know, I don't know.

01:34:53.440 Is that weird, though?

01:34:55.280 Yeah, kind of.

01:34:56.080 It depends.

01:34:56.520 I feel like if you knew the kid from when it was a baby, you should.

01:34:59.500 Or just keep the phone line open.

01:35:00.660 Like, bro, you can call me whenever you want.

01:35:02.020 But I'm going to go look for some.

01:35:03.840 But like the first couple of years, you kind of check in and then you like forget one year.

01:35:07.020 It's got to feel weird.

01:35:08.240 Yeah, eventually.

01:35:09.240 Or if there's a new stepdad, you can't be like, hey, you got to pass the baton and be like, he's a good boy.

01:35:14.120 But do those stepdads meet somewhere and like have a, do they?

01:35:17.720 Yeah, they meet at Sbarro.

01:35:22.300 They meet at Sbarro and they ceremoniously split a pizza.

01:35:25.100 And the guy gives the new stepdad like the fifth slice and he only has three.

01:35:30.240 Hey, what's up?

01:35:30.820 I'm Tom, 2015 to 2017.

01:35:32.540 Yeah, stepdadding is like, I kind of, it's unheralded.

01:35:38.260 There's not.

01:35:38.860 Exactly.

01:35:39.100 I kind of wish I was able to experience it a little bit, honestly.

01:35:41.520 Yeah.

01:35:42.060 But, you know, I, for real, I was always, I always assumed that was just like how it would go for me.

01:35:48.360 I was like, yeah, I'll just kind of kick around and eventually I'll just date a check with kids and be a stepdad.

01:35:52.900 But it didn't work out that way.

01:35:54.720 So, but I honestly wouldn't have minded.

01:35:57.020 It'd be pretty sick.

01:35:57.940 Yeah.

01:35:58.060 Sometimes I have a dream, maybe that I meet a lady and she already has a kid, maybe. 0.67

01:36:01.420 Yeah, man.

01:36:01.920 Just get in there at like 10. 0.99

01:36:03.200 You know, fucking, that'd be awesome. 1.00

01:36:05.500 10 years old. 1.00

01:36:06.680 Yeah, I guess you're right.

01:36:07.620 I guess you're right.

01:36:08.640 Six.

01:36:09.700 Get out. 0.99

01:36:10.100 I'm telling you, man, it's like the first fucking three years. 0.99

01:36:13.280 There's no sleep. 0.99

01:36:14.140 You get all your good sleep.

01:36:15.140 You just hop in at six.

01:36:16.720 They just started remembering stuff.

01:36:18.520 It's perfect.

01:36:20.020 And it's just fun.

01:36:20.880 From then on, it's just fun.

01:36:22.380 My buddy just had his third kid and he's a black man and he has.

01:36:28.120 And it's funny. 0.63

01:36:28.820 The other guys were like, dude, you're not even a black dad until you have three kids. 0.98

01:36:33.220 That's crazy, bro. 0.99

01:36:35.400 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:36:37.660 Like two kids for a black guy. 0.99

01:36:39.280 That's nothing, bro. 0.99

01:36:41.260 That's so funny.

01:36:42.220 That's child's play.

01:36:43.320 So now he's official.

01:36:44.520 Yeah.

01:36:44.720 Now he's really, yeah.

01:36:45.820 Like, dang.

01:36:46.480 All right.

01:36:46.860 So you for real about it.

01:36:48.080 He's really banging.

01:36:48.640 Yeah.

01:36:49.760 It's like the first two were just mixtapes and this is like a real album.

01:36:53.580 He's finally signed.

01:36:54.780 Yeah.

01:36:56.140 What else?

01:36:56.680 Any other thing else in the news going on or anything else? 0.93

01:36:59.040 Dude, I haven't even, I haven't been fucking following the news. 0.74

01:37:01.400 I don't know what's going on. 0.86

01:37:02.400 I, uh, what else is going on with me?

01:37:04.760 Do you know what I've been doing recently?

01:37:05.880 I've been researching.

01:37:06.780 So I've been reading autobiographies.

01:37:08.140 That's my big, um, that's my big kick right now.

01:37:10.360 Wow.

01:37:10.740 I've just been trying to just study people's lives and see like at the end of their life,

01:37:14.980 what did they think was good?

01:37:16.260 What did they think was bad?

01:37:17.400 I only got through like once.

01:37:18.840 Well, I got through a couple actually.

01:37:20.480 Um, but dude, the, it's been cracking me up because I, Bertrand Russell was like this

01:37:25.040 famous mathematician.

01:37:26.760 Bertram Russell?

01:37:27.600 Bertrand Russell.

01:37:28.240 Yeah.

01:37:28.360 He wrote, him and like, uh, this guy Whitehead wrote this like big book called Principia Mathematica

01:37:33.760 where they spent, I think like 200 pages proving one plus one equals two.

01:37:38.360 This was like the type of stuff he was on.

01:37:40.120 Wow.

01:37:40.660 Bizarre.

01:37:41.180 Why?

01:37:41.580 Just because they were finding ways that you could not prove it kind of thing?

01:37:44.500 People are coming through and like underline.

01:37:45.940 So apparently math is like, there's like a, like a set of axioms that like you just have

01:37:51.680 to assume is true.

01:37:52.940 You know, they want math.

01:37:54.360 There's a bunch of people back in the day who wanted math to be able to like totally explain

01:37:57.540 everything in the universe.

01:37:58.600 It's just the way it is.

01:37:59.580 But there is a aspect of faith in math where you have to believe the axioms.

01:38:04.840 So they were trying to just be like, check this out.

01:38:07.780 And they just got real into one plus one in that book.

01:38:10.920 But he's apparently like a genius.

01:38:13.000 And I read his and I read the guy, you know, Angela's ashes.

01:38:17.000 Yeah.

01:38:17.600 I read, he has one called Tiz.

01:38:20.080 That's his second, Frank McCourt.

01:38:21.920 So Angela's ashes was his time in Ireland until he was 19.

01:38:25.340 And then at 19, he moved to New York city in like the fifties.

01:38:28.180 And he wrote another book called Tiz. 0.95

01:38:29.600 That's from the 1950s to like whenever the fucking eighties or whatever.

01:38:34.420 But I've been like, I was reading those both simultaneously. 0.96

01:38:36.500 And like, it's so funny how every male memoir is just a guy talking about how horny they

01:38:42.000 were as a kid.

01:38:42.600 It's, it's crazy.

01:38:43.680 Yeah. 0.99

01:38:43.840 Horny and want to kill themselves. 1.00

01:38:45.680 Bertrand Russell and Frank McCourt were like, I just want to so fucking horny. 1.00

01:38:48.200 Dude, I just want to fucking kill myself. 0.99

01:38:49.460 I didn't know every guy was just suicidal back in the day. 0.99

01:38:53.020 That's what I'm learning in my studies. 1.00

01:38:54.400 A lot of guys are just fucked. 1.00

01:38:55.440 Just want to fucking kill themselves. 1.00

01:38:56.880 Well, it used to be very poetic if you killed yourself. 1.00

01:38:59.040 Yeah.

01:38:59.360 Remember, it was very, there was like this Shakespearean, like I'm taking my life.

01:39:04.480 Now you're just like a, you know, you're just like a 13 reasons why fan or whatever,

01:39:09.560 you know, but it used to be kind of, there was something very romantic about it.

01:39:14.540 Yeah. 0.98

01:39:14.740 You could like stab yourself with a sword. 1.00

01:39:16.600 Now it's, you know, it's pussy shit. 1.00

01:39:18.240 Now it's overdosed or whatever. 1.00

01:39:19.740 Yeah.

01:39:19.800 It's like, yeah, come on.

01:39:21.240 Yeah.

01:39:21.700 It is.

01:39:22.480 Boo.

01:39:23.640 Go back to the drawing board.

01:39:24.760 That's dude.

01:39:25.600 This guy, first person to use Switzerland suicide pod found with strangled.

01:39:30.520 And where are these at?

01:39:31.260 They're not the airport, are they?

01:39:32.380 The airport would actually be, your flight got canceled.

01:39:37.260 Just be like, nevermind. 0.98

01:39:38.180 Just walk right into the suicide pod. 1.00

01:39:40.300 Just end it. 1.00

01:39:41.040 Oh, that's exactly, bro.

01:39:41.880 That was found with strangulation marks on her neck. 0.99

01:39:45.480 Following the death of the 64 year old American woman, multiple people.

01:39:50.140 Oh, this is terrible.

01:39:51.380 Including Dr. Florian Willett, the president.

01:39:54.140 They said a woman used it, but they also found strangulation marks on her neck.

01:39:58.380 Yeah.

01:39:58.620 What's that about?

01:40:00.040 So it sounds like maybe they only put her in for a couple of minutes.

01:40:03.340 Yeah.

01:40:03.520 But it's just, why would she have marks on her neck?

01:40:06.060 If she, if you get, maybe she, she might've attempted.

01:40:08.940 Oh, she was trying to like help it or something.

01:40:10.740 Or maybe she like tried to do the old ceiling and like the, something gave away and she's

01:40:15.060 like, I'm going to hit the pod.

01:40:16.380 There was some malfunction and she, uh, the guy was heard saying six minutes after the process

01:40:22.380 started that she's still alive.

01:40:24.220 So I think he had to.

01:40:25.380 Oh, he choked her out.

01:40:27.780 Cause I guess if you go that far, if she lives, she would, the product is no better.

01:40:32.060 She'd yelp the pod. 0.97

01:40:32.980 Yeah.

01:40:33.120 Two stars, still alive.

01:40:35.720 Boo.

01:40:37.000 Eating breakfast right now.

01:40:38.360 Does not work. 0.99

01:40:39.340 With my lame ass kids and husband right now, did not taste the sweet release of death. 0.99

01:40:45.760 Awkward ride home. 0.99

01:40:49.440 Husband's like, what are you doing back?

01:40:50.840 I thought you were killing yourself today. 1.00

01:40:52.880 Oh shit. 1.00

01:40:53.820 You already got a new girl over. 1.00

01:40:55.500 He's already on Raya.

01:40:56.640 Listen to Zach Ryan. 1.00

01:41:00.040 Damn dude. 1.00

01:41:00.880 I do. 1.00

01:41:01.720 That shit freaks me out, man. 1.00

01:41:02.880 When they do those. 1.00

01:41:03.420 When you do it, I've been at an airport, dude. 0.97

01:41:04.740 And if you miss your Le Havre, I'm like, I'll fucking go to heaven. 0.72

01:41:06.980 I'm not, I'm not waiting. 0.97

01:41:09.920 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:10.340 Fuck Akron. 1.00

01:41:12.140 Send me to heaven. 1.00

01:41:12.860 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:13.400 Put me in that bitch. 1.00

01:41:13.940 Like I've been that furious at a point where it's just like, I'll just, let's shut it down. 1.00

01:41:17.040 Yeah.

01:41:17.280 There's no more room for your baggage.

01:41:18.840 You're like, you know what?

01:41:19.700 I'm going to take the pod.

01:41:20.600 I don't know.

01:41:21.020 I'm not going to go walk five seats back and try to go in oncoming traffic to get my bag back.

01:41:25.560 I'm going to take the pod.

01:41:26.900 If it doesn't work, you have permission to choke me out.

01:41:28.800 That's crazy. 1.00

01:41:31.560 That guy had to just be like, yeah, he's like, oh shit. 1.00

01:41:35.180 A couple of kinks, man. 1.00

01:41:36.400 Just don't mind me.

01:41:39.280 That'd be nice if the pod just like walls came in and just crushed you.

01:41:42.580 Oh, it like put you into a dizzying state and then it just vacuum sealed you.

01:41:46.800 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

01:41:47.620 Just sucked you. 1.00

01:41:49.940 I'd have like a little soda with me. 1.00

01:41:53.380 It just dried you out.

01:41:54.820 But yeah, that, uh, I don't like that, man.

01:41:56.540 I don't like when people, again, it's like if you're, if you have like terrible, painful

01:42:01.140 cancer or there's like nothing they can do, I get it.

01:42:03.900 But like that guy looked all right.

01:42:05.140 Was he just modeling the tube or is he actually?

01:42:06.740 Yeah, he's just the model.

01:42:07.620 I guess they obviously do not have a, there's no budget for the model.

01:42:12.840 I'll say that, you know, but I think it was a woman that used it.

01:42:16.100 She had cancer and she wanted to go use it.

01:42:17.840 And they just hooked her up.

01:42:19.180 Yeah.

01:42:19.520 Yeah.

01:42:19.760 That's a, but here's the thing.

01:42:20.940 That's the one product like Coca-Cola and all those, like they have like beautiful people always

01:42:25.140 like drinking Coke.

01:42:25.860 You don't have like, they're going to have like beautiful celebs like laying in there. 1.00

01:42:29.820 That's true.

01:42:30.340 They're going to try to, they want to show you someone who looked like that guy.

01:42:32.580 I was like, yeah, I could see that.

01:42:33.600 Yeah.

01:42:33.940 This guy's got like no muscle mass. 1.00

01:42:35.900 Fucking pants are sacking. 1.00

01:42:36.800 I could see him just aiming at 76. 1.00

01:42:38.840 Hey, let me get in there.

01:42:40.660 You're like some dude in there just smoking.

01:42:43.840 That would be the best. 1.00

01:42:44.980 Some dude is fucking in there. 1.00

01:42:46.520 I'm going to get one for my house. 1.00

01:42:47.820 If my kids piss me off, I'm like, I'm, I'm going to go to the pod.

01:42:50.660 Yeah. 0.99

01:42:50.960 Daddy's going to the suicide pod. 1.00

01:42:52.080 If you guys don't clean your fucking room, I'm going to fucking turn myself off. 1.00

01:42:55.860 Bro, that'd be crazy, man. 1.00

01:43:00.300 Yeah.

01:43:00.600 Put them in there. 1.00

01:43:01.260 You guys want to fuck around? 1.00

01:43:02.380 You guys want to party? 1.00

01:43:03.320 Scare them.

01:43:03.720 I would set that thing for 30 seconds just to freak them out.

01:43:06.640 Just microwave them for a second.

01:43:07.940 Yeah.

01:43:08.600 Well, some lady oven themselves at a Walmart. 0.99

01:43:10.780 You see that?

01:43:11.380 No.

01:43:12.540 Some lady wandered into an oven. 1.00

01:43:14.320 They were doing, what was it?

01:43:15.640 Was it hide and go seek or what happened?

01:43:18.160 Wait.

01:43:18.380 We're pulling it up, but there was a woman got stuck in one of the industrial baking ovens 0.95

01:43:22.780 at a Walmart, I believe.

01:43:23.760 What?

01:43:24.160 And I believe she passed away, right?

01:43:25.840 Yes.

01:43:26.180 From the gas or she burned herself up?

01:43:29.180 From the burning. 1.00

01:43:30.460 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:43:31.100 Or cooking. 1.00

01:43:31.720 Let's all say burning.

01:43:32.580 We don't know what happened.

01:43:33.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:33.280 Cooking.

01:43:33.600 She got, yeah.

01:43:33.880 Or, you know.

01:43:34.760 Oh, she was 19?

01:43:35.940 Oh.

01:43:37.560 Yo.

01:43:39.540 Police say the investigation is complex.

01:43:41.500 That's unreal.

01:43:42.280 Oh, the walk-in.

01:43:43.400 So they bake like multiple cakes at a time?

01:43:46.180 In Canada, yeah.

01:43:47.060 I guess they have a walk-in oven.

01:43:48.220 That's not a good idea.

01:43:49.720 It'd be hard to stay out of it.

01:43:50.700 I bet it smelled good in there.

01:43:51.900 Bro.

01:43:52.780 True.

01:43:53.600 I mean, this is harrowing.

01:43:54.940 Yeah, of course.

01:43:55.900 But I'm saying that it is a fact that that oven smelled delicious.

01:43:58.740 Oh, man.

01:44:00.140 The woman who was an employee of the store was located at a large walk-in oven. 1.00

01:44:03.420 Important to know, the investigation has not yet reached a point where the cause and manner

01:44:06.820 of death have been confirmed.

01:44:08.600 The investigation is complex.

01:44:09.880 Yeah, dude.

01:44:12.240 I did not.

01:44:12.740 I'm thinking like there was just a big oven on display. 0.99

01:44:15.180 I was like, how the fuck did a lady walk into that? 1.00

01:44:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:44:17.740 Damn. 1.00

01:44:18.080 Why the fuck they have walk-in ovens? 1.00

01:44:19.360 That's a terrible idea. 1.00

01:44:21.200 It is, huh?

01:44:21.840 Let's just feed them in there like pizzas. 1.00

01:44:23.160 Just, you know, have like a big thing.

01:44:24.620 You pull a wooden paddle and pull them out.

01:44:26.960 People don't need those cakes, dude.

01:44:28.240 That shouldn't have cost a human life.

01:44:30.580 Those cakes are terrible.

01:44:32.080 Yeah, you shouldn't.

01:44:34.080 We don't need to walk into an oven.

01:44:36.060 No, dude.

01:44:37.200 That's a terrible design.

01:44:37.940 That's a horrible idea.

01:44:38.960 Yeah, that's a, well, it's, look, that's, it's an old idea.

01:44:42.260 It's not the first, it's an old idea and people should have not done it.

01:44:45.000 Yeah, but it's like, it's almost like, oh, now you need an oven.

01:44:47.640 You open the door and it has like that, like the, one of those signs that's on like the ladder

01:44:50.900 that's like, do not step here. 0.99

01:44:52.780 Like, no shit, dude. 1.00

01:44:55.320 That's terrible. 1.00

01:44:56.260 Fucking oven. 1.00

01:44:57.900 Yeah, man. 1.00

01:44:58.680 I mean, oh, dude, that is terrible.

01:45:03.960 Someone throws you in there.

01:45:05.180 That's what they're saying.

01:45:05.880 That's what I'm saying, dude.

01:45:07.640 Mm-hmm.

01:45:08.560 Oh.

01:45:09.180 That is not nice.

01:45:11.560 Because, yeah, how would you shut yourself in there?

01:45:14.180 I don't know.

01:45:14.660 That's a mystery.

01:45:15.500 Yeah.

01:45:15.760 Complex.

01:45:16.280 If I were writing that, I'd say this is very complex.

01:45:17.560 That's a mystery.

01:45:18.180 And here's what the world is.

01:45:18.380 Yeah, what's this all about?

01:45:19.300 What's this all about?

01:45:21.740 This gives turn, huh?

01:45:23.080 This is nice.

01:45:30.120 That's awesome.

01:45:31.360 This is why you need other countries, dude.

01:45:34.820 Yeah.

01:45:35.660 People are like, I don't like diversity.

01:45:37.440 You're out of your mind.

01:45:38.600 That's true.

01:45:39.120 That guy is as diverse as it gets.

01:45:40.700 You show me a honky that can do this.

01:45:42.480 I mean, dude, it is a, what a blessing.

01:45:45.080 If you're, I'm just, just assume this guy's like, I don't know where, what country that's

01:45:49.760 in, but any other time in history, just being like a midget born in like the third world. 0.97

01:45:56.940 Again, he could be in Palm Beach.

01:45:58.040 I don't know where that guy's from, but he's pretending he's from another country.

01:46:01.000 It would just be a pretty tough road, but now he can just make great viral content.

01:46:05.160 I know.

01:46:06.120 It just makes life good, man.

01:46:07.660 Yeah.

01:46:07.920 Three, six.

01:46:08.480 That's hilarious.

01:46:09.540 Are you in tires the new season?

01:46:11.960 Yeah.

01:46:12.140 I have a small, a small role.

01:46:13.940 Did you want to have a large role?

01:46:15.220 Was that ever a conversation?

01:46:16.120 You're good.

01:46:16.500 No, I'm good, man.

01:46:17.320 I'm happy with everything.

01:46:18.660 If I get it. 1.00

01:46:19.160 The fact that I was in it again, I was like, fuck you. 1.00

01:46:21.660 So, and I, dude, acting is like so hard, man. 1.00

01:46:24.220 Yeah.

01:46:24.580 It's draining, dude.

01:46:25.420 Just doing that every day.

01:46:26.840 It's just like, I work myself up into a tizzy doing just like two scenes, like one scene,

01:46:31.280 like from like the different angles.

01:46:32.260 And it's just like.

01:46:33.220 Yeah.

01:46:33.320 Your weight takes a lot of patience.

01:46:35.020 So you sit there all day.

01:46:36.200 It's a, but I, yeah, no, I'm, I'm always like, I'm kind of chilling, man.

01:46:39.960 I'm happy every way.

01:46:41.040 Anything's go.

01:46:41.560 The fact that I'm not like stuck at a job that makes me miserable.

01:46:44.100 I'm like, bro, anything that I can do, let me know.

01:46:47.280 You know what I mean?

01:46:47.640 I don't get like caught up in the kind of like, it should be better.

01:46:51.180 Yeah.

01:46:51.280 That was my.

01:46:51.820 Yeah.

01:46:52.340 Played the cop last time.

01:46:53.780 Yeah.

01:46:54.200 My mom loved the show.

01:46:55.560 It's just so wild.

01:46:56.920 She's like, have you seen this tires?

01:46:59.100 Yeah, it is.

01:46:59.600 It is funny.

01:47:00.280 Like she's like, I, I like it.

01:47:02.580 I, I like put it on.

01:47:03.720 And my, my daughter was like, uncle Shane.

01:47:06.140 Oh, she freaked out.

01:47:07.200 Uncle Shane's on TV.

01:47:08.620 Uncle Shane's on TV.

01:47:09.740 I was trying to find my part.

01:47:12.420 I was like, daddy was on TV watching. 0.97

01:47:13.660 I was like, I can't fucking find it. 1.00

01:47:14.920 Like blue, get in the oven, get in the fucking oven, white dad. 1.00

01:47:20.320 Do your kids call you white dad? 1.00

01:47:21.920 That's crazy. 0.90

01:47:22.600 Huh?

01:47:23.220 My, my daughter says I'm colored sand.

01:47:27.300 She's like, dad looks like sand.

01:47:28.720 I forget what you called her mom.

01:47:30.140 It's all right.

01:47:30.920 Yeah.

01:47:31.080 She's like dad sand.

01:47:32.480 They didn't have that, but they're going to get it.

01:47:34.040 Now all the schools, it'll, it'll all get like, we'll start ramping that up.

01:47:37.240 But, you know, we'll see.

01:47:39.860 I'll tell, I'm just going to hold it down.

01:47:40.940 My daughter be like, dude, for real, I'm black.

01:47:42.760 Don't worry.

01:47:43.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:43.500 Fuck that school. 1.00

01:47:44.360 You wait. 1.00

01:47:45.040 Yeah. 0.99

01:47:45.320 I'm black as hell. 1.00

01:47:46.060 This is a fucking mirage. 1.00

01:47:49.780 Just get the loan on the house. 1.00

01:47:51.300 Yeah.

01:47:51.600 We'll see.

01:47:52.540 But yeah, man.

01:47:53.420 I, I, yeah, dude, I'm just pumped, man.

01:47:55.560 I'm like, you know, everything's going well.

01:47:56.940 I'm like, again, I'm just biding my time to be a plainclothes school security.

01:48:01.400 It'd be fun.

01:48:01.980 Huh?

01:48:02.300 I do fantasize about like a nice retirement job.

01:48:05.040 I would like to teach art.

01:48:06.920 That would be crafts.

01:48:07.860 Nothing fancy.

01:48:09.820 Paint.

01:48:11.320 Wire things.

01:48:12.860 Those fuzzy long things.

01:48:14.340 What are those called?

01:48:14.940 Pipe cleaners.

01:48:15.580 Yeah.

01:48:16.100 That'd be nice.

01:48:16.780 Yeah.

01:48:17.240 You can do whatever with those things.

01:48:18.340 You just, they put out a bag. 0.98

01:48:19.740 We don't know what we're fucking making. 0.99

01:48:21.800 Some kid made a noose or whatever. 0.99

01:48:23.360 You're like, he's doing good.

01:48:26.780 But yeah, that's, you know, for me, I'm just been chilling, man.

01:48:29.220 Just trying to keep myself float.

01:48:31.620 Stay positive.

01:48:32.120 It's the embarrassing thing too.

01:48:33.480 And like things are going well.

01:48:34.460 It's like, I'll still get like bummed out and depressed. 1.00

01:48:36.780 And I'm always like, dude, you're such a fucking pussy. 1.00

01:48:38.960 Shut up. 1.00

01:48:39.880 So I've been trying to just like be even keeled and just, you know, just work on little projects. 0.99

01:48:44.020 And that's it.

01:48:45.460 Yeah.

01:48:45.580 I think some of that's normal too.

01:48:47.040 It's, it is tough though.

01:48:48.100 Cause certainly people have things a lot tougher, you know, and it is tough too.

01:48:52.000 Sometimes when your life is going good, it's like not to let your ego start to take over.

01:48:55.840 That's, that's the thing that gets really scary.

01:48:58.060 Oh yeah, dude.

01:48:58.860 Cause your ego is just like this thing that's kind of grows without you, you know, really

01:49:03.120 knowing what's going on.

01:49:04.080 And you can be watering it without even realizing it.

01:49:05.940 Oh dude, I, I, I was lucky to have like an ego boom like early.

01:49:11.320 And it was like, come looking back on it.

01:49:13.100 It was like really not nothing.

01:49:15.240 It wasn't anything great.

01:49:15.940 But at the time when I was like 24, 25, I was just making so much money selling weed

01:49:22.560 that I was like, it dude, it went right to my head.

01:49:25.000 Wow.

01:49:25.380 As soon as I made like a couple thousand dollars a week, I was just like, Oh my God, I'm the 0.99

01:49:29.720 fucking best. 0.97

01:49:30.420 I was real low key. 0.97

01:49:33.520 I mean, right now it's the most rings I've ever worn right now, but the, uh, yeah, dude,

01:49:37.420 you just get when you like that, that happened to me and I got like, you just start getting

01:49:40.580 greedier and I was just like, I want more.

01:49:42.840 Luckily I got wiped out financially like twice.

01:49:45.420 And then that has like an evening you go like up and back down, you go, okay.

01:49:49.820 And it kind of brings you back to earth where you're like, yeah, like don't, don't let

01:49:52.640 that's anything like that get to your head or like make you act different.

01:49:55.420 And again, it's, it's embarrassing.

01:49:56.460 It was like, dude, I was making two grand selling weed, but it's like, it was enough for

01:49:59.340 me at such a young age to be like, I'm a, I'm the man. 1.00

01:50:02.540 Everyone's a fucking idiot who can't do it. 1.00

01:50:04.240 And it was just like, and then I came crashing and burning and I was like, all right, back 1.00

01:50:08.120 to painting houses now with my friend.

01:50:10.180 It really had like a, that for me, it was real experience. 0.93

01:50:13.020 And I was able to be like, okay, when things were going well, a, don't be a dick and B, 0.58

01:50:18.600 they might not always forever, huge chance it won't.

01:50:20.920 So, you know, be grateful and just kind of like, you know, be nice and just try to help

01:50:24.860 out and don't get too, you know, how'd you get wiped out?

01:50:27.560 How'd you get wiped out?

01:50:28.680 Just losing money in the mail.

01:50:30.160 I got robbed at gunpoint. 0.99

01:50:31.260 I got, I like had like a couple of stretches where like, uh, dudes I know would get fucked 0.74

01:50:34.980 up on drugs and just kind of like dip out. 0.73

01:50:36.900 I got robbed at gunpoint.

01:50:38.280 I lost that.

01:50:38.840 And then I mailed like, I think like $30,000 in the mail and that got snagged by the postal

01:50:43.540 place.

01:50:44.340 Yeah, dude, that was scary.

01:50:46.760 I like put 30 K in the mail.

01:50:49.120 Yeah.

01:50:49.400 I vacuum sealed it and all that stuff.

01:50:51.120 And, uh, and what you, can you just not legally move that much money?

01:50:54.160 You're not allowed to mail money like that now.

01:50:55.760 And then what they do is they're like, come on in.

01:50:57.660 Like, they were like, we'll talk to you.

01:50:59.100 And it was like, I wasn't, my name wasn't on it.

01:51:01.680 It was like, I tacked it on with my friend.

01:51:04.080 And the, well, the trick is you can be like, I was buying a car and you know, blah, blah,

01:51:07.440 blah.

01:51:07.880 Did you go in there?

01:51:08.700 Do you wear a mustache or anything? 1.00

01:51:09.700 Fuck no, dude. 1.00

01:51:09.920 I was like, I just called a wash. 1.00

01:51:11.800 I'm like, I'm not going to the fucking postal, you know, post mineral, post general mass 0.98

01:51:15.040 or whatever it is. 0.97

01:51:15.540 Is there a chance to get it back?

01:51:16.540 Like, if you can prove it's legit, they're going to be like, all right, where's your tax

01:51:20.120 return?

01:51:20.520 I was going to go like, uh, so it was like, you can't, unless you had a legitimate, if

01:51:24.760 I legitimately was doing it, I could be like, Hey, here's what I'm doing.

01:51:27.260 I need that back.

01:51:28.680 But it's like, it's the last place you want to go in and be like, no, it was actually

01:51:31.340 up to no good.

01:51:32.460 I bet it's sitting there.

01:51:33.160 I bet you go in there and talk to them.

01:51:34.380 Yeah.

01:51:34.660 Right.

01:51:35.000 It's gone.

01:51:36.160 Hey, oh my God.

01:51:37.380 Yeah.

01:51:37.540 They probably took it.

01:51:38.880 Are the postal workers?

01:51:40.080 I would imagine the postal, or they, they maybe, you know, they were like, here you go.

01:51:43.640 But it's like, yeah, that was the big thing back then.

01:51:45.360 It was just mailing weed.

01:51:46.620 You would just get it to your house and write immediately, right.

01:51:49.260 Return to sender.

01:51:50.000 Don't open it.

01:51:50.860 Cause what they do is either a guy in like a officer pretends to work for the USPS and

01:51:56.860 they come and deliver it.

01:51:58.080 And what they were doing first, which kind of fucked them up.

01:52:00.160 They'd like open the box right now and you open it and be like, there'd be weed in there.

01:52:02.860 And you could just go, I don't know.

01:52:05.240 Anyone can mail me anything.

01:52:06.380 So they legally couldn't do anything.

01:52:07.540 So what they started doing is they let you get the package.

01:52:09.920 They wait like 10 minutes and then they come in because people usually get it and cut it

01:52:13.400 right open.

01:52:14.120 So you have to do is you write return to sender, leave it in the corner of the room,

01:52:17.380 wait about like an hour.

01:52:18.680 And then you put it in your car and you drive towards the post office.

01:52:21.240 So if they pull you over, you're like, but I don't even know what this is.

01:52:22.840 I'm taking the post office.

01:52:23.940 And if you just kind of do a couple of laps, someone's following you, go somewhere else

01:52:26.340 and you cut it open.

01:52:27.460 But it's like, that was the move because California would mail it over for just like pennies on

01:52:31.620 compared to what it was on the East coast.

01:52:33.900 I thought I was the man, but then, you know,

01:52:35.440 Did you start buying anything?

01:52:36.880 You buy a nice suit or something?

01:52:38.200 I was very, very, I was like a Chinese triad.

01:52:40.640 I would just, no, I didn't spend anything.

01:52:42.340 I would like,

01:52:43.200 Would you start sleeping on your back or something at least?

01:52:47.100 You know what I would do?

01:52:47.820 I would go on trips.

01:52:48.520 I would do vacations.

01:52:49.260 So I would like go away and like ball out like that.

01:52:53.100 But no, I didn't buy, I didn't buy the cars.

01:52:54.740 I didn't do any of that stuff.

01:52:55.560 I kept it pretty low key.

01:52:56.600 Where'd you go to Cancun or something?

01:52:58.500 Yeah, I went to Hawaii.

01:52:59.800 Yeah.

01:53:00.080 I did a trip to Hawaii to the Four Seasons.

01:53:01.780 It's pretty tight. 0.99

01:53:02.680 Damn. 1.00

01:53:03.020 So you were balling. 1.00

01:53:03.940 I was balling out.

01:53:04.600 Yeah, I was balling.

01:53:05.980 But then again, I lost it all.

01:53:07.720 And then you go from like, you know, enjoying the perks of that to like, I'd be happy if

01:53:12.080 someone gave me 50 bucks right now, you know?

01:53:13.660 So it's like, yeah.

01:53:14.880 And at a young age, it's the best thing that could have happened.

01:53:16.860 Because at a young age, I got to like get that ego swell and just completely come crazy.

01:53:21.200 And there's something liberating when it happens.

01:53:23.280 I remember being oddly like relieved at the time being like, oh, this is kind of cool. 0.98

01:53:27.580 I don't have to worry about all this shit anymore. 0.95

01:53:28.960 Oh, that's just a nightmare, dude. 1.00

01:53:30.480 We sold weed for almost four hours one time. 1.00

01:53:33.160 Fucking. 0.99

01:53:33.700 It's scary. 1.00

01:53:34.600 It was the scariest shit ever. 1.00

01:53:36.020 All day, every day. 1.00

01:53:36.820 I fucking almost killed the guy. 1.00

01:53:38.100 I started accusing him of fucking shit. 1.00

01:53:40.100 We had like, we literally had $200 worth of fucking, like, we were fucking. 1.00

01:53:45.000 It was just alpha dog immediately. 0.99

01:53:46.860 It turned, bro.

01:53:47.720 Things went so, it was crazy.

01:53:50.140 Well, dude, you talk about being paranoid.

01:53:51.960 It's, you're in a paranoid situation. 1.00

01:53:53.500 Everybody's a fucking narc or whatever. 1.00

01:53:55.200 Everyone's following you. 1.00

01:53:56.140 Everyone's a narc.

01:53:56.820 Everyone's watching you.

01:53:57.720 Yeah. 0.99

01:53:57.880 At one point, I would wake my friend up and be like, are you fucking watching me? 1.00

01:54:00.860 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:54:01.220 I had a storage unit at one point. 1.00

01:54:02.700 And between me and someone else, we had like 60 pounds of weed in there.

01:54:06.840 And I'd have to, I'd have to go in there with a duffel bag in the middle of the day and

01:54:10.500 like, look around, load it and walk back up.

01:54:13.100 And the one time I went there at three in the morning, or excuse me, it was like, you

01:54:16.500 know, one in the morning, but I go in there, it's nighttime and there's a fire alarm going

01:54:20.120 off in the school.

01:54:20.760 And I remember hearing it being like, well, there's a school near, which probably wasn't 0.98

01:54:23.160 the best place to have fucking 60 pounds of weed. 0.91

01:54:25.000 But so I go in, I'm like, oh, that's weird. 0.99

01:54:27.340 The fire alarm's going off.

01:54:28.420 I load up a duffel bag of like 30 pounds of weed.

01:54:30.820 I come out of the place and surround it in police, police officers everywhere.

01:54:35.660 Cause they were, they came because of that fire alarm going off in the school and I'm

01:54:38.560 holding a duffel bag and they're just standing there.

01:54:40.500 It's like 1am or whatever.

01:54:42.580 And I just come down the steps.

01:54:43.780 They look at me and I look at them and I was like, boys, I just walked in my car and

01:54:47.880 I just was like, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.

01:54:50.420 Got in and took off.

01:54:51.320 No problem. 0.86

01:54:51.720 I was shitting myself, dude. 0.75

01:54:53.900 That was like one of the scarier. 0.72

01:54:55.180 Oh, I can feel the stress of that, dude. 0.98

01:54:57.620 Cause you feel the second you're, when they're behind you, you must be like, they're fucking, 0.99

01:55:01.480 they're following me burning in my head. 0.99

01:55:03.060 You're pulling off.

01:55:03.780 You're like, you're just waiting for one of their cars to pull off.

01:55:05.880 And it was like, dude, it was a massive giant, like hockey bag.

01:55:09.260 And it looks, I was like, this looks so sketchy.

01:55:11.700 I'm just coming out.

01:55:12.600 Like, and I like froze.

01:55:14.040 It says weed on the side of it.

01:55:15.540 Yeah.

01:55:16.240 Came out like, oh, just stared at them. 0.91

01:55:18.720 And I was like, Hey, I'm like, what the fuck's wrong with that? 0.92

01:55:21.720 I'm like, I'm a white guy. 0.98

01:55:22.160 Wow.

01:55:22.940 Yeah, true.

01:55:23.820 That is, I will say that is one of the perks of being a white guy.

01:55:27.100 Yeah.

01:55:27.440 Easily.

01:55:28.080 Just seeing the cops at 1 a.m.

01:55:29.220 With a giant duffel bag and being like, Hey.

01:55:31.680 Yeah.

01:55:32.420 What's up, brothers?

01:55:33.920 What's up, guys?

01:55:35.680 Hi-ho, neighbor.

01:55:36.940 Yeah.

01:55:37.780 But yeah, and you're just in a paranoid delusion the whole entire time. 0.99

01:55:39.940 It's terrible for your, dude, my hair's fucking gray, dude. 0.99

01:55:42.600 Yeah. 0.98

01:55:43.000 You're just worried all the time, constantly for years, dude. 1.00

01:55:47.120 You're hiding shit in your ceiling. 1.00

01:55:49.500 Yeah. 1.00

01:55:49.980 That's kind of, everything just gets scary.

01:55:51.620 You're hiding stuff.

01:55:52.420 Yeah.

01:55:52.560 We had like a couple of, um.

01:55:54.680 Fighting.

01:55:55.180 Dude, it's funny because, sorry to cut you off.

01:55:56.960 No, go on.

01:55:57.500 You give someone an ounce of weed and you watch them.

01:55:59.660 They'd be like, yeah, just like, you know, sell this.

01:56:01.520 And people would start it.

01:56:02.700 And it's like, people would implode.

01:56:04.520 It's just so much pressure.

01:56:05.620 Or they would just smoke it all.

01:56:06.800 They'd be like, whatever.

01:56:07.860 Yeah.

01:56:08.020 But then they're high. 1.00

01:56:08.780 Now you're having to fucking talk to somebody that's fucking high to get you their shit back. 1.00

01:56:12.100 And then everybody starts knowing you're the weed guy. 1.00

01:56:14.440 So people knowing you're the weed guy, there's something cool about it.

01:56:16.900 But then there's also this fear because you're like, well, I'm going to get busted.

01:56:19.740 Paranoid.

01:56:20.000 Yeah.

01:56:20.400 Paranoid all the time.

01:56:21.200 Then you hear about other people getting busted.

01:56:22.720 And, you know, it's just.

01:56:23.500 And then it gets closer to you.

01:56:24.520 And you're like, don't snitch or whatever.

01:56:26.180 Yes.

01:56:26.460 And I wasn't going to do anything.

01:56:27.540 You're burying.

01:56:28.080 Yeah.

01:56:28.500 We would bury weed in our, we had like seven dime bags we were trying to sell.

01:56:32.020 Right. 1.00

01:56:32.460 You fucking. 1.00

01:56:33.240 You got them in your mouth. 1.00

01:56:34.460 You're in little wheelchairs. 0.95

01:56:37.120 We were burying them in the yard. 0.98

01:56:39.240 It was un-fucking-believable, dude. 0.94

01:56:41.960 I know. 0.57

01:56:44.040 That's why you didn't get caught, though, dude.

01:56:45.480 You guys were careful.

01:56:46.340 It was breaking horrible, dude.

01:56:47.880 That's who we were, dude.

01:56:48.840 It was just. 1.00

01:56:49.660 It was the dumbest fucking thing ever. 1.00

01:56:52.640 I'm in the front yard just calling my buddy a fucking burying fucking a dime sacks with 1.00

01:56:57.960 a trowel. 1.00

01:56:59.040 You know?

01:56:59.460 It's like.

01:57:00.420 I know someone who. 1.00

01:57:01.920 You know what the fuck you're doing? 1.00

01:57:03.520 I know someone who thought he was selling steroids. 1.00

01:57:05.780 Oh, yeah.

01:57:05.980 And he got beat and they were just antidepressants.

01:57:07.840 So he was selling them to like a bunch of people.

01:57:10.220 They're all like, dude, they're working.

01:57:11.440 I'm kidding.

01:57:12.400 And they were just on SSR.

01:57:14.060 Oh, dude.

01:57:15.940 I feel great.

01:57:17.120 Hey, man.

01:57:17.480 They felt.

01:57:17.880 They did feel good.

01:57:19.180 Dude, I bought some steroids once.

01:57:20.560 My girlfriend, while I was away from her house, I was doing something, found them, broke and threw

01:57:26.700 them all away.

01:57:28.460 She took your boys. 1.00

01:57:29.940 And when I got.

01:57:30.560 Did you already cycle on them? 0.99

01:57:31.620 So did you really like what the fuck? 0.98

01:57:33.180 No, I think I had been on steroids at the time and I was not happy when I got there. 0.99

01:57:36.680 OK, it was a do not.

01:57:38.900 Look, if you find your boyfriend's steroids, OK, don't touch them.

01:57:42.220 Just.

01:57:42.620 Yeah.

01:57:42.860 Bring it up to them.

01:57:43.980 Do not get rid of them, though, because it can create a man and become violent. 0.66

01:57:48.000 You know, I didn't.

01:57:49.060 But you could see how I could.

01:57:50.960 It could be a wild day for someone.

01:57:53.760 Dude, I'll say.

01:57:54.980 And I this is like I've interacted with a couple of people who did the combination of coke

01:57:59.200 and steroids. 0.53

01:57:59.720 And that's the most lethal.

01:58:01.720 That's like a dangerous combination.

01:58:03.320 Oh, I would.

01:58:03.900 And then if you're already a little bit bipolar and boom, like, dude, those steroids, the

01:58:07.340 coke and your bipolar mania hit at the same time.

01:58:09.480 It's like that was the craziest.

01:58:12.420 I was out to breakfast one time with a guy like that and he ordered.

01:58:16.360 It was actually kind of alpha, but he like we're ordering breakfast.

01:58:18.560 He's like, oh, and I'll take a muffin and can I have that immediately? 0.99

01:58:21.980 And I was like, damn, bro, you just hit her with the immediately. 0.99

01:58:25.640 He's like, I want that immediately. 0.99

01:58:26.660 Not even like, you know, I can have that before.

01:58:28.280 He's like, I want that immediately.

01:58:29.440 An immediate muffin.

01:58:30.240 It was boss.

01:58:30.920 And it was boss energy.

01:58:32.000 But it was.

01:58:32.460 I remember being struck by that.

01:58:33.520 Alpha muffin can have it immediately.

01:58:36.800 A little urgency behind that.

01:58:38.640 Yeah.

01:58:39.180 But yeah, that that's a wild combo.

01:58:41.500 Yeah.

01:58:42.580 Yeah.

01:58:42.900 How long are you on the roids for?

01:58:44.640 I was on and off for a few years.

01:58:46.180 I remember the first time I ever did.

01:58:47.920 Pills or did you inject?

01:58:49.480 Shooting.

01:58:50.180 Dang.

01:58:50.420 That's awesome.

01:58:50.920 Shooting three pointers.

01:58:51.940 One time.

01:58:54.100 One time.

01:58:56.620 My buddy, Sean, he sold me some pills.

01:58:58.420 He actually passed away.

01:58:59.120 He died.

01:58:59.880 He drowned. 1.00

01:59:02.480 He I think he shit. 1.00

01:59:04.000 He tried to hide from the police underwater. 1.00

01:59:05.960 No, dude. 1.00

01:59:07.140 Fucking drowned. 1.00

01:59:08.740 That's terrible. 1.00

01:59:09.980 Just.

01:59:11.060 Yeah.

01:59:11.460 You just.

01:59:14.300 Can't do it.

01:59:15.300 Yeah.

01:59:15.820 You know, it's.

01:59:16.680 You don't think about it when you're.

01:59:17.860 He was so high.

01:59:19.180 Yeah.

01:59:19.420 I thought I can hide underwater.

01:59:20.940 Bro, I almost passed out in a pool this summer.

01:59:23.680 I tried to do a back and forth in front of all my friends.

01:59:25.980 And I had my daughter's goggles on.

01:59:28.340 And they were bro.

01:59:29.020 They were crushing the sides of my head so hard.

01:59:31.100 I for real went out.

01:59:32.980 Came up.

01:59:33.780 My legs were all.

01:59:34.740 And I was like spitting water out.

01:59:36.360 I remember being like.

01:59:37.540 Do you ever try to hold your breath super long in a pool. 0.99

01:59:39.100 And you start like vibrating and shit. 0.99

01:59:41.280 I was feeling that. 0.97

01:59:42.120 I'm like, bro, I'm so close to getting the back and forth.

01:59:44.560 I got that.

01:59:45.140 And all of a sudden I black out.

01:59:47.100 Come to.

01:59:47.740 And I'm up in the water.

01:59:49.080 My lungs are full.

01:59:50.040 I'm like.

01:59:50.820 And then I took two more steps.

01:59:52.500 Passed out again.

01:59:53.240 Smacked my chin on the side of the pool.

01:59:55.040 My friends were all just. 0.99

01:59:55.920 They thought I was like fucking around until I hit myself in the pool. 0.98

01:59:58.660 And I came up. 0.99

01:59:59.160 I was like, yo, I think I passed out.

02:00:00.180 And they're like, yeah, dude, you passed out twice.

02:00:01.960 Yeah.

02:00:02.340 It was.

02:00:02.940 Start the burgers, man.

02:00:04.080 Yeah.

02:00:04.380 It was terrifying, dude.

02:00:05.820 He's called meeting the wizard.

02:00:06.920 That's what David Goggins calls it.

02:00:08.180 Really?

02:00:08.580 When the Marines train underwater and pass out underwater. 1.00

02:00:11.780 Bro, it's fucked up. 0.99

02:00:12.640 I could see like when you have people like, oh, he hit and drown. 1.00

02:00:14.460 It's like, dude, if you try to hold your breath too long, you can miss a window and you're

02:00:17.500 just out.

02:00:18.360 Well, those Kansas City Chief fans were partying with their buddy.

02:00:21.240 Yeah, dude.

02:00:22.100 Left those four dudes dead on his porch or whatever.

02:00:23.460 That was fentanyl.

02:00:23.780 Weren't they doing fentanyl, I think?

02:00:25.020 It seemed like something was crazy, you know?

02:00:26.960 Yeah.

02:00:27.140 I think they got coke and they had fentanyl. 1.00

02:00:28.840 That shit's terrifying, bro. 1.00

02:00:29.960 Fuck. 1.00

02:00:30.440 That's one thing I'm happy I never got involved with. 1.00

02:00:32.860 Yeah.

02:00:34.380 Everyone's like, everyone I know still does coke, which I'm like, is crazy.

02:00:37.600 They're like, yeah, but dude, like we're testing it.

02:00:39.380 I'm like, no, you're not, dude.

02:00:40.860 You're telling me you're drunk at a bar.

02:00:42.760 You score coke and you're like, hold up.

02:00:44.200 Let's test this first.

02:00:45.040 It's like, no, you're not.

02:00:45.700 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:46.100 You're the same type of person that mails a shit to somebody. 1.00

02:00:51.620 Bro, can you imagine to mail your shit to somebody? 1.00

02:00:54.920 You're just some dude in a fucking house, just pounds of shit just showing up at your 1.00

02:00:59.840 door every day. 1.00

02:01:00.280 You're just counting fucking money all day. 1.00

02:01:02.600 You're doing it in your garage like Jeff Bezos. 1.00

02:01:05.360 Your wife's like, what the fuck, dude? 1.00

02:01:07.980 Babe, I'm going to analyze these turds. 1.00

02:01:10.000 Let me analyze these turds. 1.00

02:01:11.400 Babe, come on. 1.00

02:01:11.860 I got a fucking, you know. 0.99

02:01:12.900 It probably just goes right to a landfill and they're like, you need vitamin D. 0.99

02:01:15.900 And they're like, thank you, sir.

02:01:17.060 Thank you.

02:01:18.320 I think I got tricked, dude.

02:01:19.780 Oh, yeah.

02:01:22.720 Testing your own.

02:01:23.440 Oh, yeah.

02:01:23.940 At that point.

02:01:24.500 What are you having to do?

02:01:25.560 It's crazy.

02:01:26.680 Yeah.

02:01:27.040 It's interesting.

02:01:29.020 You have some tour dates coming up.

02:01:30.300 I saw.

02:01:31.200 Yeah, man.

02:01:31.660 I got a New York next week.

02:01:33.120 Yeah.

02:01:33.340 I got to go to the New York comedy festival, the town hall.

02:01:36.700 I want them sweating that one. 0.98

02:01:38.540 I think it should be good.

02:01:39.520 But yeah, be fun.

02:01:40.680 When you're sweating.

02:01:41.160 What do you mean?

02:01:41.880 Ticket sales.

02:01:42.420 It's going pretty well.

02:01:43.420 I got to do that one.

02:01:44.180 And then Capital One Hall.

02:01:45.940 They just like, they're trying me in theaters right now.

02:01:47.800 Like clubs, I feel comfortable.

02:01:48.840 Now they're like, let's do some theaters. 1.00

02:01:50.820 So I'm like, fuck. 0.99

02:01:51.740 So, you know, just got to sell all the tickets of a weekend in one day. 1.00

02:01:54.760 I know it's scary.

02:01:55.560 Yeah, dude.

02:01:56.000 It is scary.

02:01:56.740 But it's going all right.

02:01:58.280 You know, it's like, I don't place too much pressure.

02:02:00.800 It's like, it is what it is.

02:02:01.760 I try to promote stuff, but I'm not like, you know, if it doesn't work out, that's just

02:02:04.620 what it is.

02:02:05.120 Like, there's nothing I can do.

02:02:06.240 Yeah.

02:02:06.760 So, you know, so that's coming up.

02:02:08.200 So I'm going to do that.

02:02:09.140 And then, uh, then I get a bunch of other dates coming up till like basically like May.

02:02:13.280 So we're all on mattmccusker.com, whatever, but yeah, come check it out.

02:02:18.540 Yeah, man.

02:02:19.760 If you want.

02:02:20.740 Yeah.

02:02:21.080 And congrats you guys.

02:02:21.760 The podcast is still doing great, dude.

02:02:23.700 Yeah.

02:02:23.940 We're, we're, this is, this is like the dark night of our podcast.

02:02:26.400 So I'm doing it.

02:02:27.020 I'm just holding it down to Shane's doing the tires and I've been, you know, I've set up

02:02:31.740 a new thing now where I, I have like headset mics and I stand at a podium with, and I

02:02:36.360 have the guest stand at a podium and it's been kind of fun.

02:02:38.380 And it changes the energy when you're on your feet.

02:02:40.160 Imagine if we're on our feet this whole time.

02:02:41.880 It's a whole different energy.

02:02:42.680 Oh, it's a good point.

02:02:43.660 Huh?

02:02:43.780 And you have, you have your hands are free.

02:02:45.300 You're just on the headset.

02:02:46.200 You're thinking you're more creative.

02:02:47.140 You can move around.

02:02:47.640 I kind of like it so far.

02:02:48.720 And you're, you have like a podium to lean on.

02:02:50.200 I can put a laptop on this under count.

02:02:52.220 And like, you know, if I need to look at something, I can just kind of fun. 0.94

02:02:55.380 I'm really fucking around with it. 0.98

02:02:56.780 Yeah, Ben. 0.99

02:02:57.260 Good for you, man.

02:02:58.080 And if you take a walk, sometimes I'll notice if I take a walk with a friend, we have such a better

02:03:01.760 conversation.

02:03:02.600 Big time.

02:03:03.020 Or if I take like one of the things I like to do now, sometimes if I'm even going on

02:03:06.480 a date or something, it's just like, let's just go take a walk.

02:03:08.580 It's like, you kind of get to know somebody is chill.

02:03:10.940 You're in motion.

02:03:11.600 Like, and you feel like you did something too.

02:03:14.180 When you, when you like go on a walk, dude, and that's for me, that's the best cure for 0.99

02:03:18.300 when you get the mental zoomies hit the fucking road, just walk. 0.98

02:03:21.700 It helps so much. 1.00

02:03:23.500 Fucking walk till you're a stepdad. 0.99

02:03:25.100 Yeah. 1.00

02:03:26.240 Walk to that new family, dude.

02:03:30.940 Best of luck with all the tickets, man.

02:03:32.460 Well, yeah, if you need a guest too, if I come back, man, I'll have to pop in.

02:03:35.120 Please, dude.

02:03:35.720 Please.

02:03:35.980 That'd be awesome.

02:03:36.560 I got, I got like.

02:03:37.400 Cause Shane's taping in New York.

02:03:38.440 Is that where they're taping?

02:03:39.040 Philly.

02:03:39.340 Yeah.

02:03:39.500 Right.

02:03:39.740 Philly.

02:03:39.940 Oh yeah.

02:03:40.200 I got like.

02:03:41.340 Cause Stavros is taping with him.

02:03:42.820 Yes.

02:03:43.480 Yeah.

02:03:43.680 I think he's going to, I'm going to see him next week.

02:03:45.040 Yeah, man.

02:03:45.420 So I got like, I think like seven more weeks of episodes to record before it comes back.

02:03:49.360 So I've, we've, we've made it through.

02:03:51.460 So, you know, it's been fun.

02:03:52.340 It's one of those, like, it's been like a learning experience cause it's, you know, it's

02:03:54.920 easy.

02:03:55.140 We can do it.

02:03:56.000 We'll do it together. 1.00

02:03:56.560 When it was just me, I was just like, well, fuck, you know, the dogs, man, they'll be 0.99

02:03:59.880 excited whenever he gets back though. 1.00

02:04:01.240 Oh yeah.

02:04:01.680 You can hear them.

02:04:02.220 You can hear them barking.

02:04:03.240 They're ready.

02:04:03.860 They're ready.

02:04:04.340 They're ready.

02:04:04.840 Trust me.

02:04:05.140 They're ready for him to be back.

02:04:08.520 Tickets at mattmccustard.com.

02:04:10.240 Matt.

02:04:10.460 Good to see you, man.

02:04:11.220 Bro.

02:04:11.380 Thank you so much.

02:04:12.140 Yeah, man.

02:04:12.580 Have a good one.

02:04:12.960 You too.

02:04:22.340 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna tell you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 11, 2024

E544 Matt McCusker

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