This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E553 Grace O'Malley

00:00:00.260 What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue?

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00:00:30.000 I want to let you know about some new tour dates.

00:00:32.040 I will be in Nashville, Tennessee on May 3rd at the Bridgestone Arena.

00:00:37.620 You can get your tickets starting Wednesday, January 8th at 10 a.m. local time with pre-sale code RATKING.

00:00:45.340 We also have tickets remaining in East Lansing, Eugene, Victoria, B.C. in the Canada, College Station, Belton, Texas, San Antonio, Oxford, Fayetteville,

00:00:57.020 Toscaloosa, Tallahassee, Winnipeg, and Calgary, Alberta, and the Canada.

00:01:04.600 Get all your tickets at theovan.com slash T-O-U-R.

00:01:10.760 Make sure to go through that site.

00:01:14.440 And thank you so much for your support.

00:01:16.520 That'll still be the Return of the Rat Tour.

00:01:18.920 Today's guest is an entertainer out of the Boston and New England areas of America.

00:01:28.600 And I got to see her backstage the other night when she was performing stand-up here in Nashville, Tennessee.

00:01:36.640 She got her start with Barstool Sports, and I've been a fan, and I'm looking forward to get to learn more about her.

00:01:46.120 Today's guest is Miss Grace O'Malley.

00:01:49.020 I've got three youngest sisters, but I'm the Milkman's because I'm a redhead.

00:02:08.460 You're the Milkman?

00:02:09.340 I'm the Milkman's.

00:02:10.300 Oh, the Milkman's kid.

00:02:11.400 Yeah, my mom's a whore.

00:02:12.560 Oh, really?

00:02:13.020 Yeah.

00:02:13.400 Oh, damn.

00:02:14.520 I wish my mom would have gotten laid more, I think.

00:02:22.260 Yeah?

00:02:23.120 Oh, yeah.

00:02:24.360 I think she was—I don't know if she was making love to maybe this auto mechanic one time.

00:02:28.280 I don't know.

00:02:29.280 He would always come around and look around at us.

00:02:32.860 A lot of undercarriage.

00:02:34.680 Yeah, I think, yeah.

00:02:35.520 He was just—I don't know what he was doing.

00:02:37.320 He might not even have been a mechanic.

00:02:38.540 I mean, it was in our town.

00:02:39.360 It was like, if you were greasy enough and kind of, you know, people would do mechanicing

00:02:44.680 in their yard, you know, type of thing.

00:02:46.660 Yeah.

00:02:46.900 Where, like, come drop the car off in my house.

00:02:49.540 And people would do a lot of, like, at-home mechanicing type stuff.

00:02:52.980 Like, tag your it.

00:02:53.860 You've got the car now?

00:02:54.820 Oh, no.

00:02:55.520 Just like—it was like, uh—like, people didn't have to have a real shop to be a mechanic.

00:03:01.280 Oh, gotcha.

00:03:01.720 All right.

00:03:01.960 Cool, cool.

00:03:02.520 You know?

00:03:02.840 So people could just do it at home.

00:03:04.320 Oh, I never come empty-handed to anything, but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best

00:03:08.140 I could do.

00:03:09.360 I heard you're on again, off again quitting.

00:03:11.620 Damn, you brought me this.

00:03:13.560 Air bar.

00:03:14.600 I heard—sometimes you quit and sometimes you're not.

00:03:16.720 Yeah.

00:03:17.560 But mostly you try to quit, so I feel like an ass, but—

00:03:20.920 No, it's nice of you.

00:03:21.920 I don't want to come empty-handed.

00:03:22.800 Very sweet of you.

00:03:23.780 This is very—yeah, it's almost like the first Thanksgiving or whatever.

00:03:28.440 You know, whenever they did that.

00:03:29.980 Yeah, so—

00:03:30.780 That's very nice.

00:03:31.600 Yeah, and I've actually been doing good about quitting.

00:03:33.880 I think the tough part is, uh—the worst thing about quitting is that you have to—every

00:03:40.820 day you're like, I'm going to quit, and then you don't—and then you set yourself up for

00:03:44.800 failure.

00:03:45.440 Yeah.

00:03:45.760 It's a commitment that I just—I don't have the willpower to do.

00:03:49.640 Yeah?

00:03:49.960 Have you tried it or no?

00:03:50.940 I was supposed to try January yesterday, and I just didn't.

00:03:53.440 Yeah.

00:03:53.900 I couldn't.

00:03:54.980 I didn't have the willpower.

00:03:55.940 Yeah.

00:03:56.380 I was like, I wanted to stop this going on, so I'm going to try again today.

00:04:00.380 You got it.

00:04:00.820 Yeah, it's another day.

00:04:02.260 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:02.600 That's the thing.

00:04:03.440 January's a lot of pressure, you know?

00:04:04.840 It's a lot of pressure at the beginning of the year to get it all right.

00:04:07.300 Yeah, but for what, though?

00:04:08.780 Like, we're just new all of a sudden?

00:04:10.280 We're just going to flip it off?

00:04:11.880 Well, I think that's kind of the goal.

00:04:13.300 I think that's the goal.

00:04:14.240 It just feels kind of tough, you know?

00:04:15.660 Yeah.

00:04:16.180 It's a lot of pressure.

00:04:17.180 It is a lot of pressure, dude.

00:04:18.580 God, being alive is just—it's a lot sometimes.

00:04:23.900 You know?

00:04:24.460 It just feels like a lot.

00:04:26.840 Grace O'Malley, thanks for coming in today.

00:04:28.540 Thanks for having me.

00:04:29.240 I'm super pumped.

00:04:29.960 I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan.

00:04:33.180 Oh, thanks.

00:04:33.660 Very big fan, so this is very sick.

00:04:35.480 Yeah, I'm a big fan of yours, too.

00:04:37.180 You always just seem like a—just like such a human.

00:04:40.080 I mean, why not?

00:04:41.600 Yeah.

00:04:41.820 Like, I don't know what's wrong with half of these people.

00:04:44.280 Everyone's kind of fucking out of control.

00:04:45.920 Yeah, things are, huh?

00:04:47.240 A little bit.

00:04:48.480 I think—well, I think if people get into, like, the spotlight or get, like, popularity,

00:04:53.700 ego, all that stuff is super dangerous, you know?

00:04:56.260 Yeah.

00:04:56.780 And you don't realize that sometimes, like, you can be getting infected by it,

00:04:59.960 or that, like—or suddenly you'll try to supermanage how you're perceived,

00:05:05.440 which some of that's normal because you want to protect yourself.

00:05:08.020 But I think all of that's just—it's scary.

00:05:11.100 Yeah.

00:05:11.600 I mean, like, you just gotta—you gotta say—you gotta be yourself.

00:05:16.240 Yeah.

00:05:16.520 That's what it is.

00:05:17.100 You just gotta be yourself.

00:05:17.820 But if yourself is an asshole, then maybe you should change.

00:05:20.700 Give yourself an asshole, bruh.

00:05:25.420 Yeah, because they got people out there now that are not even gay that are being gay.

00:05:30.180 They have all types of people, like, fake Native Americans.

00:05:35.660 Like, every week they're busting, like, one of these politicians for saying they were Honduran or something.

00:05:40.300 You know, just a lot of bullshit.

00:05:41.860 I know.

00:05:42.260 I wish I had the 23 in me to claim one of those things, because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.

00:05:48.240 Yeah.

00:05:48.560 There's a lot of words.

00:05:49.100 You haven't got it done?

00:05:49.600 I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say.

00:05:52.580 You know what I mean?

00:05:53.480 Yeah.

00:05:53.800 Yeah, I'm trying to think if you seem like—because what are you?

00:05:56.820 You are—

00:05:57.600 I am a Mick.

00:05:59.460 Okay.

00:05:59.760 So I'm Irish.

00:06:00.860 You're Irish.

00:06:01.180 Like, pretty, pretty inbreded.

00:06:02.600 Yeah.

00:06:02.880 Okay.

00:06:03.360 Nope, no—yeah, no judgment for me here.

00:06:05.540 I, um—yeah, I think, yeah, Irish are—some people are really fucking Irish.

00:06:10.300 Have you seen that video of that baby?

00:06:11.960 He's, like, breastfeeding, and he orders another tit or whatever?

00:06:15.100 Oh, my God.

00:06:16.420 No, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.

00:06:18.300 It's the most Irish shit of it.

00:06:19.540 That's about—pretty much the way I was—

00:06:21.020 He, like, orders a round for everybody in the room or something.

00:06:23.720 It's some—they're breastfeeding it like a family thing or whatever, like a birthday or whatever.

00:06:28.280 One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was, um, like, one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness.

00:06:35.040 Yeah.

00:06:36.080 Stupid.

00:06:37.020 Yeah, but that's—

00:06:37.620 But it is what it is.

00:06:39.140 It's—yeah, it's a rough one, kind of—I told some rough—oh, uh, oh, my—one of my first jokes was, like, oh, I need a job, a blowjob.

00:06:46.520 That was it.

00:06:46.820 That's classic, though.

00:06:47.360 Come on.

00:06:48.020 It was pretty bad.

00:06:49.500 Thanks.

00:06:50.020 At least we have each other, right?

00:06:52.360 It was pretty bad.

00:06:53.180 I was still up.

00:06:53.900 Um, so, yeah, I stopped by the comedy club the other night, and you were doing stand-up.

00:06:57.200 How long—so, how long have you been doing stand-up?

00:06:58.860 Just so—because some of my audience won't know you.

00:07:00.520 So, um, you're a podcaster and a comedian.

00:07:03.480 Yes, yeah.

00:07:03.940 Okay.

00:07:04.360 And how long have you been doing stand-up?

00:07:07.060 I—so, I moved to New York in 2020.

00:07:09.620 I was doing it, like, here and there on, like, the streets, because you had to do it, like, outside at the time.

00:07:14.000 And I was—

00:07:14.540 Oh, because of COVID.

00:07:15.120 Because of COVID, yeah, yeah.

00:07:16.480 And so I did, like, on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year.

00:07:23.640 Okay, of 2024.

00:07:24.700 2024, yeah.

00:07:25.440 Okay.

00:07:26.000 Yeah.

00:07:26.420 And so what did that mean, taking it serious?

00:07:27.880 Like, just getting up more?

00:07:28.880 Like, getting into, like, the circuits, or what?

00:07:30.960 Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious, because it's comedy.

00:07:34.220 But, um, just, like, going up as much as I could, like, networking, I guess, and putting myself out there, kind of thing.

00:07:41.000 So, I've been going up as much as I could.

00:07:43.840 And, uh, Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her.

00:07:47.860 Oh, Whitney took it on the road with her.

00:07:49.100 I'm kicking in, my apologies.

00:07:50.260 Whitney did?

00:07:51.080 Yeah, she did.

00:07:51.580 Oh, yeah, that's awesome.

00:07:52.480 Which was sick, yeah.

00:07:53.200 So, she put the fire under my ass, um, she came on, I used, I used to have a podcast, it's no longer, but, um, she came on as a guest, and she was like, I fuck with you, like, you should, you should open for me.

00:08:04.180 And I'm like, you don't want, you don't want, you don't want that.

00:08:07.760 And she was like, no, just, just do it, just say yes, and, uh, it'll, it'll all follow.

00:08:13.300 So, she put the fire under my ass, and I just grinded.

00:08:16.340 Wow.

00:08:17.100 And so you were just, now, was it like you were overnight, suddenly on stage, having to do a lot of time, or no?

00:08:21.600 Um, so she, she gave me 15, which turned into 20, and, uh, she just kept, I guess I was doing something right, because she kept adding me to more cities.

00:08:29.520 So, I was like, all right, so I guess I'm doing pretty good.

00:08:31.680 Yeah.

00:08:31.900 That was nice.

00:08:32.860 I, uh, so you're from, originally you're from where at?

00:08:36.320 I'm from Boston, but, like, outside of Boston.

00:08:38.120 Okay.

00:08:38.480 Yeah.

00:08:39.000 And do people from outside of Boston look differently at people than inside of Boston?

00:08:42.400 Um, oh, culturally, probably.

00:08:47.180 There was, um, there was this thing in the 70s called busing, where they brought, um, African-American children into the city, and, uh.

00:08:55.460 For schooling and stuff?

00:08:56.360 For schooling, yeah.

00:08:56.960 Okay.

00:08:57.140 So, so, uh, I, some people didn't like that, so those people, they left, and that is, unfortunately, where I come from.

00:09:05.720 That's just, oh, that's for your family.

00:09:07.020 Yeah.

00:09:07.380 You were birthed out of those people.

00:09:08.600 Yeah, those were those guys.

00:09:10.100 People make their choices, you know?

00:09:11.900 Um, they have, yeah, they have, yeah, because Boston's interesting.

00:09:15.740 They got a lot of racism up there, you know?

00:09:17.580 Yeah, but it's, you know, uh, it's not as, um, loud as it is down here.

00:09:22.380 So, it's, uh.

00:09:23.040 Yeah, in the South, it's more, the South has more of that kind of slave magic history, you know?

00:09:27.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:27.980 We, we just have, uh, just little innuendos of bad history and bad, uh, bad things we did, I guess.

00:09:35.260 Yeah.

00:09:35.340 So, it's still up there, though, for sure.

00:09:37.020 Yeah, it depends on what side you're on.

00:09:38.720 But, yeah.

00:09:38.820 You should just meet my dad.

00:09:40.040 Really?

00:09:40.320 Yeah.

00:09:40.660 You know, you'll see it there.

00:09:41.880 Is he a fireman or no?

00:09:43.220 Uh, no, he wanted to be a police officer, ended up being an electrician, but he fucked that up, too.

00:09:48.080 What, doing electricity?

00:09:49.340 Uh, yeah, he, uh, he got electrocuted.

00:09:51.160 Oh, he did?

00:09:51.640 Yeah, on the job.

00:09:52.840 Oh, yeah.

00:09:53.400 And, uh, he said he saw God, he started, he started to be a believer, and, uh, Tyler Childers walked him into heaven.

00:09:59.160 Tyler Childers?

00:10:00.760 Yes, Childers.

00:10:01.900 Yes.

00:10:02.120 The musician?

00:10:02.620 The musician walked him into the pearly gates.

00:10:05.620 So, that's my father.

00:10:07.440 You almost gotta believe him.

00:10:08.960 Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.

00:10:10.960 You know, I mean, that's a real...

00:10:11.800 But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him.

00:10:15.100 Yeah, that's true.

00:10:16.120 I'm not really sure.

00:10:16.780 Yeah, why would a guy who's not even dead come and help you?

00:10:20.500 That's nice of him.

00:10:21.380 Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, I was like, oh, that's pretend.

00:10:24.060 Yeah, that's when it got a little fictional.

00:10:25.940 Yeah.

00:10:26.320 Yeah.

00:10:26.440 Like, you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up, and you were blasted.

00:10:29.000 Yeah, dude, being electrocuted, it's kind of under, it's not a, it's a, it doesn't get

00:10:37.200 as much credit as it deserves, really.

00:10:39.240 I got got once by, um, electricity.

00:10:44.160 A little fork in the outlet action?

00:10:45.940 Uh, no, when I was at a fair or something, uh, I was, we used to go to the carnival down

00:10:52.300 the street from our home or whatever, and they had, they would let you ride the rides

00:10:56.840 the day before the fair opened up.

00:10:58.340 Oh, little test monkeys.

00:10:59.240 Yeah.

00:10:59.720 Nice.

00:11:00.220 So we're out there, and, um, and we're doing it or whatever, and they were just, like,

00:11:05.060 plugging shit in and whatever and ever, you know, and I would try to get off one of the

00:11:09.540 rides, and I, like, grabbed two different railings, and I think I connected some circuit

00:11:13.580 or whatever, and so I was just like, dish, you know?

00:11:15.340 Oh, shit.

00:11:16.200 Did your friends see a skeleton, like the cartoons?

00:11:18.380 No, uh, I don't know.

00:11:19.540 My friends, they kind of ran off to, like, oh, something's, you know.

00:11:22.580 This isn't, we don't want to be involved.

00:11:24.560 He's going to be a superhero.

00:11:25.680 Yeah, this guy's not doing good.

00:11:26.840 We don't want to be involved in it.

00:11:28.380 And some guy called me, I think, a f***ed or whatever, and kicked me in the back.

00:11:32.180 And I was like, okay, he saved my life, but he still called me a f***ed.

00:11:35.600 So I was like, well, you know, but that's what you get kind of around the carnival.

00:11:39.760 But, um, that time, and then I was walking behind a food truck that was serving crab meat

00:11:44.200 or whatever, which I don't trust.

00:11:45.480 That sounds really wrong, too.

00:11:47.200 Oh, it's, yeah, I don't trust crab meat that's that close to, like, a gas tank, I think,

00:11:51.920 you know.

00:11:52.380 Yeah, no, that's fair.

00:11:53.520 I think, uh, I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean.

00:11:56.460 Yeah.

00:11:56.740 Like, right from the ocean.

00:11:57.740 I actually, when we got here this weekend, I had, I had crab legs.

00:12:00.800 I'm like, what am I doing?

00:12:01.900 Yeah.

00:12:02.080 I've shitting my brains out this whole last couple days.

00:12:03.580 Oh, yeah, it's horrible.

00:12:04.160 Yeah.

00:12:05.080 We're in land block right now, right?

00:12:06.800 Yeah.

00:12:07.100 Yeah, I don't know what I was doing.

00:12:08.200 Never seen a crab anywhere around here.

00:12:09.980 I've never had money before, so I was like, yeah, we'll get some crab legs.

00:12:13.580 This is sick.

00:12:14.980 You're as smooth as Tennessee shelf is.

00:12:19.460 I, uh, yeah, that's wild, dude.

00:12:22.400 I feel fucking stupid.

00:12:24.600 That's that new money shit.

00:12:25.820 That's new money, boy.

00:12:27.200 That's fucking new money, dude.

00:12:29.980 Yeah, let's get the crab legs.

00:12:31.100 This baby's getting a grill, and we're getting fucking Tennessee crab legs.

00:12:35.740 What else is, like, a gay that I could get?

00:12:41.320 Um, I'm trying to think of shit that we got, like, or that.

00:12:45.160 Yeah, what was your, what was your first new money buy?

00:12:48.700 Oh, I got a fucking Cybertruck was the only thing I've ever really gotten for myself that

00:12:52.560 was, like, expensive.

00:12:53.440 Somebody was telling me about that, and they were saying that you thought that nobody would

00:12:57.460 recognize you in that thing?

00:12:58.720 Oh, yeah, that's what I thought it first.

00:12:59.880 Are you ready to buy it?

00:13:00.640 Yeah.

00:13:00.980 I didn't think it was that big of a deal.

00:13:02.640 I thought everybody would have them, you know?

00:13:04.520 Yeah, that's going to make people do many double takes.

00:13:07.880 Oh, it was horrible.

00:13:08.260 Once at the car, second at you.

00:13:10.120 Yeah, it was horrible.

00:13:10.540 Or, sorry, once at you, second for the car.

00:13:12.680 No, it was all horrible, because, well, whenever you first got them, I got home, I ordered,

00:13:17.560 like, five years ago, right?

00:13:18.560 Like, it was, because it was a hundred bucks.

00:13:19.780 Oh, that's like putting it on the wish list.

00:13:21.560 Okay.

00:13:21.860 Right, so for a hundred bucks, you could be like, I got a Cybertruck coming.

00:13:24.740 It was online.

00:13:25.520 Yeah, but she's on layaway.

00:13:26.520 Yes.

00:13:27.080 That's rich people layaway.

00:13:28.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:29.020 So, it was like, yeah, I'm getting a Cybertruck or whatever.

00:13:31.200 And then I kept, like, bothering Elon on Twitter to, where are they?

00:13:35.520 You know, give them, you know?

00:13:37.040 Are you guys on a basis of, like, talking?

00:13:40.520 Okay.

00:13:40.820 No, I don't know him.

00:13:41.440 I was just tweeting at him and stuff or, like, you know, saying stuff like that.

00:13:46.760 And then, finally, one day I got home.

00:13:50.460 I'd been on time for a few weeks and it was in my garage.

00:13:52.460 Oh, sick.

00:13:53.680 And so, I was like, holy shit, dude.

00:13:56.060 And at first, when you would drive down the street, people would, like, there were people

00:14:00.480 cheering, people had American flags.

00:14:03.180 There were Mexican people out there doing this and dancing or whatever.

00:14:08.660 It was crazy.

00:14:10.700 You're like, where did these Mexican people come from, you know?

00:14:14.520 You're like, ole, ole, ole.

00:14:16.680 And you were just driving.

00:14:18.100 But, really, they had, like, we are the champions.

00:14:20.360 It was, like, gay people.

00:14:21.600 People were coming out of the closet in front of you.

00:14:23.340 You had girls flashing titties.

00:14:24.900 It was a lot.

00:14:25.760 Yeah, it was just a lot going on, you know?

00:14:28.300 And, yeah, I did it.

00:14:30.220 I thought it automatically would have extra darkness on the windows, you know?

00:14:37.440 And it didn't.

00:14:38.280 So, for a long time, I thought it was, like, yeah, obviously, it's, I can't, you know,

00:14:43.280 I can just drive, you know, there was extra darkness.

00:14:46.340 And then, and then, my buddy was like, dude, you got to get those things tinted.

00:14:50.120 I was like, oh, shit, man, they're not tinted.

00:14:52.040 And then, so, finally, I did get them tinted.

00:14:53.960 Well, what was it, Run DMC or the, or, fuck.

00:14:58.620 I forget who it was, but they said tinted windows don't mean nothing.

00:15:01.120 They know who's inside.

00:15:02.100 Really?

00:15:02.540 Yeah.

00:15:03.320 Fuck.

00:15:03.640 So, you're fucked.

00:15:06.620 And, and so is the guy who waited five years for a Cybertruck just to blow it up.

00:15:11.600 What a science experiment.

00:15:12.800 Oh, yeah, some guys did that, huh?

00:15:14.720 Yeah, bring that up, dude.

00:15:15.920 Actually, you know what's funny?

00:15:16.700 I thought about getting, like, a big fuse and putting it, like, hanging out of mine.

00:15:22.100 Oh, yeah.

00:15:23.100 That's a goodie.

00:15:24.520 Oh, he did it for 4th of July, or he did it for New Year's?

00:15:27.180 That's what it does look like.

00:15:28.680 It does look like a spectacle.

00:15:29.820 I think it was a political point in front of Trump.

00:15:32.780 Oh, in front of Trump Tower.

00:15:34.540 Wow.

00:15:35.100 I think one person did die, so it's, it's tough to find a joke there, but, I mean.

00:15:38.980 It was probably some Middle Easterners, like, getting a picture next to it.

00:15:41.360 People are always like, can we get this?

00:15:43.560 Can we?

00:15:44.840 And you're just like, leave me alone.

00:15:47.440 I'm gonna blow a lid.

00:15:48.700 Yeah.

00:15:49.300 Don't come ask me.

00:15:50.580 But the problem is the horn sounds a little bit effeminate, too.

00:15:53.680 Does it?

00:15:54.480 Yeah.

00:15:54.820 If you hit the horn, like, a couple gay dudes will kind of walk over.

00:15:57.760 Like, oh, hi.

00:15:59.140 You need something?

00:15:59.960 They still have prostitutes that work the streets.

00:16:05.320 Do they?

00:16:05.980 Yeah.

00:16:06.800 Not here.

00:16:07.540 They don't have to anymore, right?

00:16:08.120 Where's there some good, where are streetwalkers still in America?

00:16:11.040 Can you pull that up, please?

00:16:12.640 Because I've been looking.

00:16:13.800 I've told my friends before.

00:16:14.920 I don't get laid much.

00:16:16.920 That's just a fact about me.

00:16:18.740 But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day.

00:16:22.440 And don't tell me it's a hooker.

00:16:23.540 A male hooker?

00:16:24.120 A male hooker.

00:16:24.960 They exist?

00:16:25.720 I'm not sure.

00:16:26.620 I think that they, yeah, definitely.

00:16:28.260 I mean, there's, like, Italian guys, if that's what you're talking about.

00:16:32.500 But I don't know what you're looking at overall.

00:16:36.600 Nevada has the largest commercial sex market in the United States when adjusted for population.

00:16:41.140 Okay.

00:16:42.440 Number of prostituted people.

00:16:43.780 Nevada has more than twice as many prostituted people per capita as California and 63% more than New York.

00:16:49.640 All right.

00:16:50.540 So they still have brothels there.

00:16:52.240 All right.

00:16:52.560 So I'm moving, I'm moving Nevada.

00:16:54.460 Mind if you go to Nevada to get it?

00:16:55.860 Yeah, there we go.

00:16:56.300 Yeah, I wonder, what would that be like for a, um, for a woman?

00:17:00.820 Because I've gotten a, um, a lady of the night or whatever they're called, mystical.

00:17:05.820 Yeah, just one time, I'm sure.

00:17:06.680 I don't know what they call them.

00:17:07.480 Yeah, a mystical plus.

00:17:08.380 Yeah, I got one in Amsterdam, right, where people go get them.

00:17:11.700 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's where you, that's, like, the prize.

00:17:13.480 Yeah, the red, like, yeah, the mecca.

00:17:15.100 The mecca of horse.

00:17:15.660 It is.

00:17:15.980 It's, like, the Istanbul of, like, you know, midnight cooter or whatever, you know?

00:17:21.380 And so I went there and, oh, here was the funny part.

00:17:25.800 My buddy and I, both of us, like, snuck, like, acted like we weren't going to go there.

00:17:30.640 So we both, like, went off by ourselves.

00:17:32.400 Oh, you went to these two separate rooms, like, all right, man.

00:17:35.180 Night, bud.

00:17:35.820 And then saw each other there and were like, oh, dude.

00:17:40.040 That's tough.

00:17:40.560 That's why you just have to embrace it and then just do a foursome or something.

00:17:45.100 But here was the sad part of it.

00:17:46.640 You go in there and it seems like it's very alluring and the mirage of it is very compelling.

00:17:52.000 But you go in there and right when you go in their door, because they're standing out there

00:17:56.440 and there's kind of some red lights inside of the room, you go in there in the main door

00:18:00.700 and there's, like, a bouncer guy right there.

00:18:02.620 Yeah.

00:18:02.960 And he's very, you know, tough guy.

00:18:05.280 And he says something real tough or something.

00:18:07.640 And then you kind of go like that.

00:18:09.460 And then you go into the room and it's very much like a doctor's room.

00:18:12.860 Like, everything's kind of, like, covered in, like, paper or plastic.

00:18:15.440 It feels like.

00:18:17.920 Classy.

00:18:21.320 It feels like, uh, it feels very clinical.

00:18:26.420 Clinical.

00:18:27.040 Okay.

00:18:27.420 So it's routine.

00:18:28.260 It's like an appointment.

00:18:29.220 Right.

00:18:29.520 That's what it starts to feel like.

00:18:30.260 So the magic of, like, any, like, you know, romance or whatever is going on.

00:18:34.400 Were you looking for lust and love?

00:18:35.180 I don't, I think everybody probably.

00:18:39.460 Probably.

00:18:40.080 I thought you were looking for just, like, a wet willy.

00:18:41.580 No.

00:18:42.300 I'm one of those guys who, like, would leave the strip club and be like, man, I think

00:18:45.420 I'm, you know, I think there's a chance we're going to get her off the stage.

00:18:48.740 You're going to give him a pep talk the next time you go in.

00:18:50.960 Like, hey, Annabelle magic.

00:18:53.580 We could put you in community college, babe, you know.

00:18:56.100 So much better than this.

00:18:57.260 You could be so much more.

00:18:58.240 Oh, wow.

00:18:58.740 That sure is something.

00:18:59.920 So I think it's very hard.

00:19:01.480 Like, I can't get an erection, like, around broken glass.

00:19:03.780 Or I can't get an erection, I'm realizing, around, like, some environments like that

00:19:08.340 that are so clinical.

00:19:11.000 Have you ever spent a night in jail?

00:19:13.140 Yeah.

00:19:13.440 So that's, like, exactly that.

00:19:15.360 How could you get...

00:19:16.080 Right.

00:19:16.680 How could you get off...

00:19:17.620 That feels like jail.

00:19:18.720 Yeah.

00:19:19.180 With just a little silk.

00:19:20.540 Yeah.

00:19:20.900 That's kind of crazy.

00:19:22.300 Yeah, it's a slightly silky jail.

00:19:24.600 Silky jail.

00:19:25.280 I would go to silky jail.

00:19:26.560 Smooth jail.

00:19:27.680 Do you have a mugshot?

00:19:29.720 Um, I don't know if I have a mugshot.

00:19:31.660 That's a great question.

00:19:33.060 If I do, it's in Mississippi or Louisiana.

00:19:35.320 I'll have to check.

00:19:36.160 That's a good thing to look up for.

00:19:38.180 That would be sick merch.

00:19:41.040 Wow.

00:19:41.400 Is that supposed to be you?

00:19:47.720 Damn.

00:19:48.320 I'm sorry if you would say something like that.

00:19:49.320 I can't believe neither one of those are me, dude.

00:19:52.160 And then this one's just literally your headshot, not a mugshot.

00:19:57.000 Wow.

00:19:57.520 Yeah, that's just a headshot.

00:19:58.780 Go back up to that second one.

00:19:59.720 Oh, you're a tiny baby boy in that blue shirt one.

00:20:02.120 Very young.

00:20:02.880 Very impressionable.

00:20:05.160 There I am.

00:20:06.480 Yeah.

00:20:06.680 What did I do?

00:20:08.740 It was kitty porn.

00:20:10.720 Oh, no.

00:20:11.640 Kitty vids.

00:20:12.660 Yeah.

00:20:14.240 K-I-T-T-Y.

00:20:15.460 Oh, so it was meow.

00:20:16.940 Yeah.

00:20:17.380 All right.

00:20:17.900 No problem.

00:20:18.880 What about you?

00:20:19.660 You been in?

00:20:20.600 No, I'm dying to, though.

00:20:22.380 Because I would like a mugshot.

00:20:25.060 I'd see you in there.

00:20:26.180 Yeah.

00:20:26.840 It would be good.

00:20:27.520 I think I'd run that thing.

00:20:29.060 Oh, yeah.

00:20:29.320 Like a McDonald's.

00:20:30.420 I'd see you in there keeping stuff in your bra.

00:20:32.660 Yeah.

00:20:33.340 And, like, they come to me, and they got to ask, like, oh, do you want red dye number two?

00:20:38.940 Yeah.

00:20:39.200 You want some lipstick?

00:20:40.180 Yeah.

00:20:40.560 Because that's what the girls do in there.

00:20:41.660 They go crazy.

00:20:42.600 Yeah.

00:20:42.740 You want to watch McCullough?

00:20:43.880 No.

00:20:44.140 You want me to thread your eyebrows with some, I don't know what they'd use.

00:20:48.560 Yeah.

00:20:48.780 You want me to hide some?

00:20:49.220 But I'll find out.

00:20:50.120 Yeah.

00:20:50.600 And I'll be the head of the market.

00:20:53.620 Yeah.

00:20:54.000 You want me to pull some Clairol out of your pussy or what?

00:20:57.380 Like people smuggling makeup in there or something?

00:20:59.620 Yeah.

00:21:00.340 I mean.

00:21:00.860 Is Clairol still makeup?

00:21:02.420 I don't know what that is.

00:21:03.620 You don't?

00:21:04.000 I'm not sure.

00:21:06.480 I could pretend.

00:21:08.100 Clairol?

00:21:08.580 I thought it was a makeup company.

00:21:09.840 Is it?

00:21:11.500 All right.

00:21:12.100 Sure.

00:21:13.660 Fuck it.

00:21:14.420 Do you?

00:21:14.740 Yeah.

00:21:14.980 Like, what does love look like for you?

00:21:17.440 What's your love life like?

00:21:18.480 Do you have a boyfriend or you don't have a boyfriend?

00:21:20.660 I do not have a boyfriend.

00:21:22.000 I have.

00:21:23.040 You might have said that, too.

00:21:24.020 Sorry.

00:21:24.460 I've never had one.

00:21:25.620 You've never had one?

00:21:26.700 I know.

00:21:27.220 And it's like, everyone always does that.

00:21:29.460 And it's like, oh, rats.

00:21:31.280 Like, damn.

00:21:32.380 Every single time I'm like, oh, I should just let that person have that reaction because

00:21:36.320 it is crazy.

00:21:37.460 It is crazy.

00:21:38.160 But I have to address it.

00:21:39.540 But it's also pretty special, though, I think.

00:21:41.520 Yeah.

00:21:42.120 When I find that Mr. Special Guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long,

00:21:46.840 I suppose.

00:21:47.740 Yeah.

00:21:47.940 So, yeah.

00:21:48.880 26 years.

00:21:51.620 You haven't missed them?

00:21:52.560 Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones or no?

00:21:54.700 No, no.

00:21:55.380 They don't really.

00:21:56.060 They don't really flock.

00:21:57.640 You'd be totally shocked that I'm not flock.

00:22:00.160 I don't really scream, fuck me.

00:22:03.840 Like, I don't really have fuck me eyes ever.

00:22:05.720 So, I think I'm more of like a bro to some people.

00:22:10.220 Like, my way of flirting is, like, misogynistic.

00:22:12.820 Oh, like, kind of, yeah, just being buddies?

00:22:15.000 Yeah.

00:22:15.340 Just being like, yo, dude, like, check out her tits.

00:22:17.460 Or you can check out mine if you prefer.

00:22:20.200 Yeah.

00:22:20.480 Kind of thing.

00:22:21.140 Yeah.

00:22:21.740 Oh, I see what you're saying.

00:22:22.940 Yeah.

00:22:24.920 So, haven't had luck thus far.

00:22:27.340 Hence the male hooker.

00:22:28.660 Did you have, like, a high school prom date?

00:22:33.040 He is now, I had to ask him.

00:22:35.900 He was a year older.

00:22:37.160 And he is now she.

00:22:38.700 And we don't, I have.

00:22:40.540 Is he straight still?

00:22:41.900 And a woman?

00:22:42.520 Or is he now a gay woman?

00:22:43.720 I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk.

00:22:46.980 You know those people you just have to be, like, fix the clues in and see what they're all about?

00:22:51.360 Like, the little clues that they put out there.

00:22:54.700 And then I didn't go to my senior prom.

00:22:57.020 You didn't?

00:22:57.600 No.

00:22:58.040 It was one of those.

00:22:59.020 I'm still waiting to get picked up from my senior prom in my head.

00:23:01.500 Oh, yeah.

00:23:02.100 Foolishly.

00:23:03.180 You know?

00:23:03.740 One day.

00:23:04.320 Oh.

00:23:05.100 But.

00:23:05.540 Yeah, dude.

00:23:06.440 Yeah, that's definitely.

00:23:07.720 I got stuck after the prom.

00:23:09.360 This dude was crying.

00:23:10.940 And he had borrowed his, his dad had left him a long time ago.

00:23:13.800 And he borrowed his mom's business blazer and had those shoulder pads in it.

00:23:20.200 Oh, classy.

00:23:22.120 Yeah, it was classy, but it was also just, like, a sign of the times, you know?

00:23:26.340 Yeah.

00:23:26.500 Of, like, young men being raised by single moms and having to wear their mom's business blazer to the prom.

00:23:31.480 Yeah, I guess I could have had it worse.

00:23:33.180 And it kind of, it was like, but he was bawling about something.

00:23:36.080 He thought he looked like Damon Wayans or something, but some bullshit or whatever.

00:23:39.000 I don't know.

00:23:39.280 He was out of his fucking mind.

00:23:41.200 And I was trying to get laid, but also be nice.

00:23:43.100 So I was waiting to go see my girlfriend, but it was just a nightmare.

00:23:45.960 But this was your buddy?

00:23:47.300 Yeah.

00:23:48.020 I know I got stuck giving him a ride after prom.

00:23:50.520 Oh, fuck.

00:23:51.420 To this party.

00:23:52.020 And he started just bawling.

00:23:53.400 Damn, it's not that bad.

00:23:54.580 Take the, take it off.

00:23:55.460 Just wear the t-shirt.

00:23:56.480 Yeah.

00:23:57.080 Underneath.

00:23:57.640 But he's like, everybody says I look like Damon Wayans and I want to have my own life.

00:24:01.020 And I was like, motherfucker, you don't look anything like Damon Wayans.

00:24:05.380 Is he black?

00:24:06.320 Oh, no.

00:24:06.860 He was kind of like tan or whatever.

00:24:09.180 Like, bitch, you don't look anything like fucking Damon Wayans, dude.

00:24:12.140 You're a closeted homosexual.

00:24:13.580 Just fucking come out of the closet so we can go to this party.

00:24:15.940 You wanted to wear that.

00:24:17.200 You bawled it specially.

00:24:17.900 Oh, he loved it.

00:24:19.060 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:19.640 He looked nothing.

00:24:20.620 Was he balding?

00:24:21.580 Like, what was the problem?

00:24:22.560 He did have a skinned head and he had, you know, and he seemed kind of black sometimes

00:24:29.160 just for fun.

00:24:31.620 But he was a great guy.

00:24:35.040 Dang, that's, yeah, I guess that's interesting.

00:24:37.120 Sorry to, sorry to act like that about that.

00:24:39.400 No, no, that's actually, I think it's hilarious.

00:24:41.520 But now does it become a thing where you don't have a boyfriend because it's almost become

00:24:44.740 a thing?

00:24:45.360 Does that ever happen?

00:24:45.800 Yeah, like, I'm like too far in now.

00:24:47.420 So it's like, I don't really, I'm not looking.

00:24:49.080 I don't really give a shit at this point.

00:24:50.640 It's just, it is what it is.

00:24:51.900 If it comes, it comes.

00:24:53.560 But I would love to come one day.

00:24:55.960 And are you saving yourself for marriage type thing?

00:24:58.080 Or are you still sexually active?

00:24:59.180 No, I'm not there.

00:24:59.660 Well, I would be if I could be.

00:25:02.000 If I had it coming towards me like that, oh my God, I'd be a whore.

00:25:06.700 But I'm basically accidentally celibate, which is a beautiful thing, really.

00:25:12.400 You know, some women, they say, oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid.

00:25:16.460 They can have whoever they want.

00:25:17.600 That's not true.

00:25:18.780 There are some of us that are from a really hard time.

00:25:21.900 Like, really?

00:25:22.440 I know a lot.

00:25:23.020 I feel like I could name at least five or six guys that would definitely make love to you.

00:25:26.700 That I know firsthand.

00:25:27.980 Oh, wow.

00:25:28.440 And have seen in the past two weeks.

00:25:30.540 You know?

00:25:32.200 Wow, and you've got some cool pals.

00:25:34.500 I mean, are just, you know, like, I mean, because, yeah, I don't even, yeah, but it's like, what am I even talking about?

00:25:40.000 Is that a crazy thing to say to somebody?

00:25:41.340 No, it's great to hear.

00:25:42.680 Actually, that just gave me a little bit of a boost.

00:25:44.520 Dude, yeah.

00:25:45.120 Are you kidding me, man?

00:25:46.020 I know some people that would definitely probably knock you up, even.

00:25:51.140 Hell, yeah.

00:25:52.840 I know some people that would just.

00:25:54.120 It would be amazing.

00:25:54.800 I was thinking about it the other night.

00:25:55.720 I'm like, you know what?

00:25:56.420 I'm so anti having a kid, but I guess if I had one, I would have to have it because that would be my only shot.

00:26:01.520 You know?

00:26:01.920 Only shot at what?

00:26:02.880 Having a child.

00:26:04.220 Oh, no.

00:26:04.940 It's because if this one guy wants to bust it in, then I guess I got to put one out, you know?

00:26:12.040 It's like, it seems like a sad thing to people, but this is just my life.

00:26:16.220 No, Grace, it's definitely, you know, I think there's a lot of semen heading your way in 2025.

00:26:22.660 Oh, my God.

00:26:22.680 I can't wait to guzzle it down, my man.

00:26:24.740 It's going to be good.

00:26:26.140 But, like, it's funny to not be a whore, but, like, really want to be.

00:26:30.100 Yeah.

00:26:31.240 There's something special about that.

00:26:32.860 Yeah.

00:26:33.120 Because most whores, they don't want to be.

00:26:34.940 They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.

00:26:38.740 But then they're just out there slurping or whatever to feel decent.

00:26:41.440 Yeah.

00:26:41.940 But at least you don't have to do that, huh?

00:26:43.480 Yeah, I guess.

00:26:44.420 I guess.

00:26:45.000 But, you know.

00:26:45.900 That's all right.

00:26:46.620 Mouse wide open.

00:26:47.580 I'll wait for my special day.

00:26:49.600 I don't want to talk about this, man.

00:26:49.760 I don't either.

00:26:50.520 This is why I don't have a daughter, dude.

00:26:52.460 This is why I don't have a fucking daughter, dude.

00:26:55.640 What do you do if your daughter is, like, a tramp and you're the dad?

00:27:00.720 That's when you got to start.

00:27:02.320 Do you have a talk with them, you think?

00:27:03.380 Have any of your friends ever, they're like, damn, my dad had a talk with me because he

00:27:07.140 knew I was, like, getting smashed so much or doing a lot of sex or whatever?

00:27:12.140 I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem.

00:27:16.460 It's like, there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like.

00:27:19.680 It's just like their decision to be what they want to do.

00:27:23.320 Oh.

00:27:24.060 I suppose.

00:27:24.820 I don't know.

00:27:25.180 I've never been a whore yet, yet.

00:27:27.400 So, we'll see.

00:27:29.380 If you had a daughter, what would her name be?

00:27:33.640 Probably something from that Scarlet Letter book.

00:27:37.800 What are some names in that book?

00:27:41.620 Something from the, you know, the days when people used to die on long ship journeys type shit.

00:27:46.980 You know what I'm saying?

00:27:47.740 Hester.

00:27:48.320 That's beautiful.

00:27:49.600 Hester, maybe.

00:27:50.420 Pearl.

00:27:51.460 Pearl.

00:27:51.780 Roger Chillingworth.

00:27:54.120 That would be one.

00:27:55.900 Maybe I'll name her that.

00:27:58.140 I only have a boy name if I were to have a boy.

00:28:00.500 Yeah, what do you have?

00:28:01.260 I got Danger, but we call him Danny.

00:28:03.520 Danger?

00:28:04.140 Danger.

00:28:04.660 And everybody in Boston is named Danny anyway.

00:28:06.460 No matter what their name is, it becomes Danny.

00:28:08.280 Yeah, it doesn't matter.

00:28:09.380 Yeah.

00:28:09.860 Yeah.

00:28:10.140 It could literally be Roger and turn into Danny.

00:28:12.880 Yeah.

00:28:13.660 My name is Roger, but they call me Danny.

00:28:15.840 Yeah.

00:28:16.780 But this kid, when he's filling out medical forms, he has to write Danger.

00:28:20.560 But everybody knows him as Dan or Danny.

00:28:22.640 Oh, yeah.

00:28:23.400 I think it's good.

00:28:24.120 That's a cool name.

00:28:25.060 Yeah.

00:28:25.700 Danger.

00:28:26.980 And he could get a cool job.

00:28:28.560 He could be, I'm trying to think of what he could be.

00:28:31.760 Anything.

00:28:32.360 He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor.

00:28:35.660 Yeah.

00:28:36.280 He could be a traffic guard.

00:28:40.520 I feel like I'm blowing this.

00:28:41.980 Am I blowing this?

00:28:43.040 This conversation?

00:28:43.840 Yeah.

00:28:44.180 No, I feel like it too.

00:28:45.300 Okay.

00:28:45.940 Do you feel like I am?

00:28:46.700 No, I feel like I'm blowing this.

00:28:47.960 You're doing great.

00:28:48.940 I don't even think maybe I'm asking you about the best stuff.

00:28:50.680 I think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking

00:28:54.740 this up.

00:28:55.180 No, I think it's interesting because I never really, I don't think, I'm not good at, I

00:28:58.340 don't talk to women that much about sex stuff.

00:29:00.320 Yeah.

00:29:00.580 So I think.

00:29:00.820 I never talk about sex.

00:29:01.940 Really?

00:29:02.120 I'm just trying my very best.

00:29:03.400 Just there.

00:29:03.780 Thanks for trying.

00:29:05.160 Yeah.

00:29:06.040 I have no personal experience.

00:29:08.040 Dude.

00:29:08.360 Well, hold on.

00:29:10.160 I'm like, I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.

00:29:13.460 We're going to give somebody to come in here and just, look, I'll do it like this and you

00:29:18.160 guys just figure it out.

00:29:21.160 Oh, shit.

00:29:22.220 Oh, dude, that's crazy.

00:29:24.860 You know, when I was growing up, I had a job cleaning out wishing wells over there in my

00:29:30.000 parish.

00:29:31.480 And there weren't many of them.

00:29:32.960 Yeah, I agree, you know, but I wasn't much of a worker as well.

00:29:36.560 But I will say this, that wishing wells, they bring in big loot.

00:29:42.440 You know, the Trevi Fountain in Rome collects over 1.5 million a year.

00:29:49.460 Yep.

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00:32:23.940 I don't even know what to ask about.

00:32:26.940 Hey, how was your holiday?

00:32:28.380 Yeah, it's good.

00:32:29.300 It was okay.

00:32:29.960 I got a fever or something, you know?

00:32:32.020 And so I was like, everything was miserable, kind of.

00:32:35.560 Yeah, I feel that.

00:32:36.800 I had an ear blowout.

00:32:38.380 I can't hear out of this one.

00:32:39.540 Really?

00:32:40.000 Yeah, like at all.

00:32:41.140 Were you guys out on the water?

00:32:43.380 I was on an airplane, like three weeks ago, and it just blew.

00:32:48.460 And this is just a nightmare.

00:32:49.880 I've never had it.

00:32:50.480 I can't hear.

00:32:51.740 Yeah.

00:32:52.100 It's pretty brutal.

00:32:53.040 But other than that, pretty classic of a holiday.

00:32:55.820 Good stuff.

00:32:56.420 You spent time with your family?

00:32:57.420 I did, yeah.

00:32:58.200 Nice.

00:32:58.440 Are your parents still married?

00:32:59.440 They shouldn't be.

00:33:00.040 They can't afford the divorce.

00:33:01.040 They looked into it.

00:33:01.820 And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there.

00:33:05.860 Dude, that's such a great thing if at the end of the year you actually have a big divorce for them.

00:33:10.000 I think they'll be stoked.

00:33:11.220 Oh, yeah.

00:33:11.800 It'll be really good.

00:33:12.860 And they still live outside of Boston?

00:33:14.320 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:14.860 Oh, that's beautiful.

00:33:15.840 Yeah.

00:33:17.020 And so you have, so just so my listeners know, so you, I know you, because we had Brianna Chicken Fry,

00:33:22.880 and you guys had a podcast together.

00:33:24.660 Yes, yeah.

00:33:25.320 And it's called?

00:33:26.140 Plan Brie Uncut.

00:33:27.260 Plan Brie Uncut.

00:33:28.680 Yes.

00:33:29.240 And you guys don't have it anymore.

00:33:31.080 It's no longer.

00:33:32.220 It's no longer.

00:33:33.100 Yes.

00:33:33.560 And so you guys, and you guys had been friends for a long time.

00:33:37.600 Yeah, we were friends forever.

00:33:39.140 Okay.

00:33:39.580 Since we were, like, in fifth grade.

00:33:41.300 Oh, wow.

00:33:41.960 Yeah.

00:33:42.520 Kid friends.

00:33:43.360 Yeah.

00:33:43.900 Oh, that's cute.

00:33:44.840 Since we were little baby children.

00:33:46.600 That's sweet.

00:33:47.280 That's sweet.

00:33:47.660 That's sweet.

00:33:48.260 And have you guys kept a good friendship after?

00:33:51.220 I know that there's been, like, I'm not trying to get into, like, the tumultuousness of things

00:33:54.980 or whatever, but how is, how does that stand today?

00:33:57.660 Because it must be tough to, like, have a business with a friend.

00:34:00.940 Yeah.

00:34:01.600 I was just, I've always just, like, in 2020, she got the job at Barstool and, like, had

00:34:08.040 to move to New York for it, and I was taking a semester off from college, and she was like,

00:34:11.800 do you want to come with me?

00:34:12.460 And I was like, yeah, fuck it.

00:34:13.240 Why not?

00:34:13.980 And so, like, I door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff, and, like, she slowly

00:34:18.900 but surely, like, was trying to get me a job at Barstool.

00:34:22.480 Oh, really?

00:34:23.020 So really hustling for you?

00:34:24.100 Yeah.

00:34:24.380 So, like, she, like, really, like, stuck her neck out for me, and, like, we ended up

00:34:28.200 doing the podcast together after, like, a year of living there, and it was just so much

00:34:32.380 fun.

00:34:32.740 We had a blast.

00:34:33.660 It was always fun doing it.

00:34:34.940 Yeah, a lot of y'all's clips are so great.

00:34:36.520 Dude, we were just, shoot the shit, good banter, but, you know, we're just, I think we're just

00:34:42.240 going through a rough patch right now, and we'll, I think one day we're going to figure

00:34:46.920 it out.

00:34:47.420 Yeah.

00:34:47.740 But she's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing, and I still love her, so I'm being a

00:34:54.300 politician right now.

00:34:55.440 How do you feel?

00:34:56.820 Chacking my best.

00:34:57.960 Well, you know what's interesting is, um, I've had times where I was, like, I was going

00:35:02.660 through moments with friends and stuff, you know, and most of them evened out over time.

00:35:06.980 Yeah.

00:35:07.560 But the toughest part about it, like, was in the, like, the times where we weren't

00:35:11.260 getting along, or we were having differences, that I didn't have my friend at times.

00:35:15.760 That was really the shittiest part.

00:35:17.200 Yeah.

00:35:17.420 It was, like, even though I would have, like, a leg to stand on about why I was upset about

00:35:20.720 stuff, sometimes I'd be, like, I'd be, like, man, fuck Scott, dude.

00:35:25.820 I've got to call Scott right now and tell him.

00:35:27.360 Yeah, right?

00:35:27.840 Like, I couldn't even call my friend.

00:35:29.940 I was so fucking fired up.

00:35:31.180 I wouldn't, and then you get done with the conversation, like, ah, dude, you know who would really

00:35:34.660 help me out with this, exactly who I'm talking about.

00:35:37.440 It's fucking brutal.

00:35:38.880 It's tough.

00:35:39.900 That was kind of the worst part sometimes, was just hitting that type of moment where,

00:35:43.360 like, oh, man.

00:35:44.420 Because it's hard to kind of have good friends, you know?

00:35:46.280 Yeah.

00:35:46.860 Do you still have pals from growing up?

00:35:48.660 Oh, yeah.

00:35:49.420 Yeah.

00:35:49.580 I've got some good pals from growing up, so.

00:35:51.840 And then I've made more over the years, kind of, like, people go through things, a lot

00:35:55.020 of friends get married and stuff, and since I'm not married, you kind of fall into this

00:35:58.160 weird place where you just become, like, you're just friends with whoever's not married.

00:36:02.860 Yeah, that's kind of fucked up.

00:36:04.820 When does that start happening?

00:36:06.900 I would say probably in your 30s it starts getting, where, like, well, I guess it depends

00:36:10.720 on where you're from.

00:36:11.380 Like, where I'm from, Louisiana, people get married early.

00:36:13.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:14.080 And so you lose a couple guys right out of the gate, and right after they get married,

00:36:17.400 their hair falls out immediately.

00:36:18.840 I don't know why.

00:36:19.700 Well, at least they locked it in beforehand.

00:36:21.540 That's true.

00:36:22.180 Yeah.

00:36:22.820 And maybe some of those guys know their hair's about to fall out.

00:36:25.760 Yeah.

00:36:26.380 They have an idea.

00:36:27.320 They're like, oh, I'm going to lock it in.

00:36:28.640 I'm just going to get that.

00:36:29.920 I'm going to hop on top of that.

00:36:30.180 Their bald dad is just having a conversation with him.

00:36:32.600 Hey, buddy, it's time to get that ring and put the knee down.

00:36:37.260 You're like, Dad, I'm only 15.

00:36:38.860 They always had that one kid that went bald way early, you know?

00:36:42.100 And people would use him to buy alcohol.

00:36:43.520 They're like, what do you mean he can't buy liquor?

00:36:45.560 And be like, he's only 20.

00:36:46.680 He's like, he's bald, damn it.

00:36:48.980 He just took out his 401k.

00:36:51.280 He's fine.

00:36:53.100 That's Roger.

00:36:54.380 He rode here on his bicycle.

00:36:56.300 You think a fucking child is bald, damn it?

00:36:59.580 He's a DUI.

00:37:00.580 He already bought the booze.

00:37:01.940 That's why he's on the bike.

00:37:03.140 He's selling the liquor, damn it.

00:37:04.580 So, yeah, but I still have two good friends from when I was growing up.

00:37:10.840 I think, yeah, and then I met, you know, it's been like, I think like since I work in business

00:37:16.100 where I kind of travel around and stuff, you meet a lot more people probably than you do

00:37:18.740 if you just stay in one, live in one town.

00:37:21.040 Yeah.

00:37:21.680 I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point.

00:37:24.380 Oh, yeah.

00:37:24.740 It's like, you don't know what you're missing if you don't.

00:37:27.120 Yeah.

00:37:27.260 Like, I thought everybody was Catholic growing up.

00:37:30.540 I never knew any Jewish people.

00:37:31.660 I never knew anyone who was different.

00:37:33.200 And I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions.

00:37:36.500 Oh, yeah.

00:37:37.340 That's pretty retarded.

00:37:38.660 Yeah, and you guys are, so Catholic is the one.

00:37:41.640 With the priests.

00:37:42.520 Okay, yeah.

00:37:43.080 The one where they're playing freeze tag with the kids, but they didn't tell the kids.

00:37:45.880 And that's where I thought I could get some, but.

00:37:48.500 Oh, really?

00:37:49.220 They only like the boys.

00:37:50.480 Oh.

00:37:50.980 Yeah, I've been trying every angle for years.

00:37:52.660 Did you do anything?

00:37:53.320 You put eye black on or anything?

00:37:54.860 I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know?

00:37:59.240 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:00.400 Oh, it must be horrible when a priest sees tits.

00:38:02.680 He's like, oh, fuck.

00:38:04.480 Good day, son.

00:38:05.500 You shall not be blessed.

00:38:07.220 I don't know what they say.

00:38:09.780 Oh, what are we talking about?

00:38:12.200 Fuck.

00:38:13.340 Yeah, I never been.

00:38:14.620 I'm trying to think if I ever been Catholic or not.

00:38:16.800 I might have been.

00:38:17.940 We were Presbyterian for a while, I know.

00:38:21.680 And then my mom got in a fight with somebody outside of the church once.

00:38:24.820 And so then I think we were Methodists or Sixth Methodists or something.

00:38:29.340 I don't know how many there are.

00:38:30.360 I've got to ask my mom.

00:38:31.720 Is that like Mormon shit?

00:38:33.620 No, it's just like you don't drive far to the church, wherever that one is.

00:38:39.000 Okay, yeah, sure.

00:38:40.160 Like the closest church or whatever.

00:38:41.900 The lemonade stand church.

00:38:43.240 It was very, yeah.

00:38:44.280 Yeah.

00:38:44.660 It was, yeah.

00:38:45.580 It was like, okay, this is it, you know?

00:38:47.720 Yeah.

00:38:48.460 Yeah, it was like that kind of.

00:38:50.460 Yeah.

00:38:52.580 But, okay, so now, so you ended up in New York.

00:38:57.500 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:57.600 Was that your first time you had lived in New York when you went there with Brianna?

00:39:00.380 Yes, yeah.

00:39:01.180 Wow.

00:39:01.460 So I've been there for like four years.

00:39:03.560 Do you feel like you're fitting in there now?

00:39:05.100 Well, now with stand-up, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York.

00:39:09.780 Like I needed like my thing and I finally found my thing.

00:39:12.740 Yeah.

00:39:12.900 And so I've been loving that and I was just too scared to do it.

00:39:17.000 I was just being such a pussy.

00:39:18.340 To get up on stage?

00:39:19.140 To get up on stage, yeah.

00:39:20.380 And like even give it a whirl.

00:39:21.700 Like open mics and shit, I just wouldn't.

00:39:24.980 Yeah, because you're so endearing.

00:39:26.260 I mean, one of the things that I always admire about you is just you being you is it's like

00:39:31.760 immensely charming to like, it's like you can't help but not like want to follow along

00:39:41.720 with your world, it feels like.

00:39:43.320 Yeah, that's really sweet.

00:39:44.540 Thank you.

00:39:45.060 Yeah, it's great.

00:39:48.400 I try to be like just myself and like open and honest, but my problem is I do this accent

00:39:56.060 and it comes out only sometimes.

00:39:58.380 Yeah.

00:39:58.780 So I've got like this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off.

00:40:03.380 So people are like, you're doing a fake accent, but I don't even know I'm doing it.

00:40:07.280 Right.

00:40:07.680 So I don't know who I am.

00:40:09.060 Oh, yeah.

00:40:09.560 It's kind of crazy.

00:40:10.300 If you don't know who you are, then you're a comedian.

00:40:12.260 Then most comedians don't know who they are because that's why they're putting on a show.

00:40:15.280 They're some of the show is there over time.

00:40:18.060 They're trying to figure out who they are.

00:40:19.560 Yeah.

00:40:19.940 They're trying to manage this presentation that they put to the world.

00:40:24.420 You know, I think because like when they were young, maybe whoever they were didn't

00:40:27.920 feel comfortable or whatever in the world.

00:40:29.260 So they started making this them.

00:40:30.780 Yeah.

00:40:31.420 And anyway, that's a little bit meta, I think.

00:40:34.300 But what was the did you ever like there was ever a point in your life where you were like,

00:40:38.920 oh, my God, I want to be a performer?

00:40:42.640 Think about it.

00:40:43.460 Um, I liked I liked when people laughed.

00:40:50.480 I didn't I didn't know I didn't I think I didn't.

00:40:54.220 I never really trusted people that much, but I knew if they were laughing that.

00:40:58.960 They couldn't.

00:41:02.680 Not like me.

00:41:03.820 Yeah.

00:41:04.180 Like, I feel like it would be impossible to hate somebody and laugh at the same time.

00:41:07.460 Kind of.

00:41:07.980 Yeah.

00:41:08.240 Because you can't you can't fake a laugh.

00:41:09.940 Right.

00:41:10.160 You can.

00:41:10.920 But you but if you're telling.

00:41:12.860 But I would know.

00:41:13.860 Yeah.

00:41:14.340 I know a genuine laugh and I know a fake laugh.

00:41:16.860 Yeah.

00:41:17.480 And if you're just going to fucking hate me and be a dick, then you're not going to laugh

00:41:20.800 in general.

00:41:21.220 And then I could wean you out.

00:41:23.400 Yeah.

00:41:23.800 Yeah.

00:41:24.640 It's good.

00:41:25.360 Yeah.

00:41:25.580 So I think there was something like that for me, probably.

00:41:28.300 Um, do you think you kind of had that comedian thing like that?

00:41:31.980 You know, that you wanted to be a comedian or do you think that you just wanted to be

00:41:35.660 a performer?

00:41:36.520 Did you kind of know what it was, like where you wanted to end up?

00:41:39.380 And do you still know?

00:41:40.780 I've I've always wanted to do stand up.

00:41:42.480 I just didn't think I could.

00:41:44.040 I didn't think it was an option.

00:41:45.540 And I there's a part of me that like wishes that and this is, I guess, serious, but there's

00:41:49.880 a part of me that wishes I was able to get into stand up before anything else, because

00:41:56.720 I just want to be.

00:41:59.340 I don't want people to think I'm just like doing it for shits and gigs to have like this

00:42:02.900 other thing.

00:42:03.420 It's like, that's what my main focus is.

00:42:05.540 And that's what I love.

00:42:06.740 It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing.

00:42:10.100 And like, I wish I like, I don't know, got like got more of the reps in before people

00:42:15.180 started coming.

00:42:16.780 Yeah.

00:42:17.080 Right.

00:42:17.320 And coming to see you.

00:42:18.240 But I appreciate people coming and see you.

00:42:20.020 But like, I really wanted to get get it right.

00:42:22.900 Yeah.

00:42:23.020 I didn't even want you to stay the other night.

00:42:25.320 I was like, oh, for the set?

00:42:26.540 Like one day, one day you can see it.

00:42:28.320 Not yet.

00:42:28.800 It's not there yet.

00:42:30.320 But, you know, it's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you.

00:42:33.800 No, no shot.

00:42:35.360 Oh, it was just cool to see you and your friends in the green room.

00:42:37.760 That was dope, dude.

00:42:38.840 And just like to see like just I wanted to like kind of see what your energy was about going

00:42:43.420 up on stage.

00:42:44.240 And and the room was buzzing, man.

00:42:46.440 People were so excited.

00:42:48.300 I think especially with podcasts and stuff, I noticed this.

00:42:51.020 I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friends who are podcasters as well.

00:42:54.860 Yeah.

00:42:55.300 And you just want to kind of listen and be there in the room with them.

00:43:00.940 You're like, I just that's my person or that's my friend.

00:43:03.820 Whatever it is, I fuck with them.

00:43:05.500 I just want to be in the room while they're doing whatever.

00:43:07.700 Yeah.

00:43:08.020 Yeah.

00:43:08.240 You know, I've done the the podcast touring.

00:43:12.180 That shit is so easy.

00:43:14.320 Oh, you mean being on stage with just as your podcast?

00:43:16.680 Yeah.

00:43:16.880 Oh, I've never done that.

00:43:18.000 It's so easy.

00:43:18.420 You just it's like you have segments.

00:43:20.160 You do the same thing every night.

00:43:22.000 You like you can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd.

00:43:24.960 But compared to stand up, like it's a walk at the park.

00:43:27.680 It's like you're it feels like stealing.

00:43:30.180 You're stealing money from fans that adore you.

00:43:32.720 It's like it's not fair.

00:43:35.260 What?

00:43:35.800 But I never made any money off of it.

00:43:37.760 Really?

00:43:38.360 Barstool took it all.

00:43:39.220 Off your tour?

00:43:40.000 Yeah.

00:43:40.460 No way.

00:43:41.520 We had we had some we had I had an interesting contract.

00:43:45.220 Yeah.

00:43:45.660 But I loved them so much.

00:43:47.900 Are you still working with Barstool?

00:43:49.400 I actually just recently left.

00:43:51.060 OK, so when you leave.

00:43:52.440 So if you leave, that means do you still have your rights to?

00:43:57.360 I didn't make anything when I was there.

00:44:00.080 Half your podcast.

00:44:00.980 But you had a contract.

00:44:01.540 You got paid something annually.

00:44:03.180 Yeah.

00:44:03.740 So I got I had a salary.

00:44:05.320 OK.

00:44:05.680 And that was that was kind of it.

00:44:07.240 And so I had the option to leave and I took it.

00:44:10.740 Was it a good salary?

00:44:12.200 It was decent.

00:44:13.480 It wasn't equated to.

00:44:17.480 Was it like five hundred thousand dollars?

00:44:19.220 No, nothing close to that.

00:44:20.520 No, my buddy was making a little bit more.

00:44:23.440 A lot of it more.

00:44:24.220 A whole shit ton more.

00:44:25.620 OK.

00:44:25.760 So there was discrepancy in power.

00:44:28.380 There was.

00:44:28.800 But she was doing another podcast and whatnot.

00:44:31.560 Oh, that's right.

00:44:32.020 She was bringing a baby different client, different fans from that.

00:44:34.240 Yeah.

00:44:34.580 Yeah.

00:44:34.800 Got it.

00:44:35.300 So it's all relative.

00:44:36.760 Yeah.

00:44:36.980 And also some of that stuff is as much as it like it's like it's live and learn sometimes.

00:44:42.740 I also didn't care.

00:44:43.620 I was just happy to be there.

00:44:44.640 Right.

00:44:44.740 Like I was like literally I was stoked to just have the job.

00:44:48.260 Yeah.

00:44:48.380 So I was at one point I was working for free selling T-shirts just paying for my own clothes.

00:44:54.060 Yeah.

00:44:54.580 It was crazy.

00:44:56.080 I was like, yo, I'm just like really happy to be here.

00:44:58.880 Yeah.

00:45:00.100 Do it any way I can.

00:45:01.900 Yeah.

00:45:02.520 It's about to grind.

00:45:04.080 Oh, yeah.

00:45:04.540 And I you know what?

00:45:05.140 I think no matter what and no matter what you get involved in, you have to go through that.

00:45:08.200 You have to go through periods of that.

00:45:09.680 Yeah.

00:45:09.780 And even with stand up, you can't escape that.

00:45:11.900 It's like you just have to, you know, get it on stage.

00:45:13.600 We all you know, it's like we all learn it.

00:45:15.220 I still learn it every time I take some weeks off and go back on stage.

00:45:17.840 It's like, God, this feels new and scary.

00:45:20.180 Yeah.

00:45:20.760 And my balls just hide inside of me.

00:45:23.800 That's the new thing I'm learning is because I haven't taken time off this whole year.

00:45:27.740 And with Christmas, I took like two weeks off and I fucked myself big time.

00:45:33.460 I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad.

00:45:35.220 This is bad news, bitch.

00:45:36.600 Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great.

00:45:39.180 I'll tell you that.

00:45:40.840 It was tough.

00:45:42.720 What?

00:45:44.560 What do you have like a closer?

00:45:45.940 Like, do you have it set up?

00:45:46.560 Like, are you telling stories?

00:45:47.620 Are you telling more jokes?

00:45:48.440 Like, what's your set like right now?

00:45:49.880 I'm kind of all over the place.

00:45:50.900 I'm trying to find my I'm trying to find my thing.

00:45:52.820 I'm doing half jokes, half punches.

00:45:55.920 The punches are corny.

00:45:57.800 Oh, some of the punches to the jokes are corny.

00:45:59.320 Yeah.

00:45:59.680 I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment.

00:46:04.020 I really think it could be a lot better.

00:46:05.640 But that's why I'm doing dry January when I hit the hit the ground running.

00:46:10.420 Oh, for sure.

00:46:11.260 Try some new ones.

00:46:12.040 Now, do you feel like a comedian?

00:46:13.260 Do you feel like somebody that's pretending to be a comedian?

00:46:15.360 I feel like I'm pretending.

00:46:16.420 Of course.

00:46:17.280 You can tell.

00:46:18.680 It's brutal.

00:46:20.060 I'm like, I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious.

00:46:24.340 I'm a fucking fool.

00:46:26.520 I'm just foolish.

00:46:28.660 At least.

00:46:30.860 And you know what, dude?

00:46:32.180 I'll pay to come watch you be this honest.

00:46:36.000 I will pay $42 plus fees, okay?

00:46:41.540 To come to a room and watch somebody be this honest.

00:46:45.500 I'm just like fucking sweating.

00:46:47.680 I'm sweating through my pants.

00:46:48.960 I'm like, it's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be.

00:46:51.800 Hey, no, but I think, look, there's something about honesty.

00:46:57.200 There's not as much of it in the world.

00:46:58.460 I would literally pay to go to a room and watch somebody be honest with themselves about what's going on.

00:47:04.120 I'm learning it.

00:47:05.000 I think we all pretend to be something until we get the hang of it.

00:47:08.460 Yeah.

00:47:09.380 You know?

00:47:10.260 I just, I mean, I look up to you.

00:47:12.020 I look up to, like, all your buddies.

00:47:15.780 Oh, we just been doing it longer.

00:47:17.580 We don't know the fuck we're doing.

00:47:18.700 But you've got it, and it's just, it's, like, so awesome to see.

00:47:22.660 I just, I can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?

00:47:25.980 Yeah.

00:47:26.460 When did it click?

00:47:27.380 I don't know.

00:47:28.140 I mean, I think in, like, about 11 years, you start to be like, I don't know.

00:47:34.620 There's some different moments.

00:47:35.760 I mean, thank you.

00:47:36.320 That's sweet of you to say that.

00:47:37.080 Oh, yeah.

00:47:37.960 I mean, I definitely feel like I don't have a, like, this is, like, it is my job now,

00:47:41.760 you know?

00:47:42.200 Yeah.

00:47:42.700 For a long time, I didn't know if it was my job.

00:47:45.000 You know?

00:47:45.440 I felt like it was, but you keep going home, like, at Christmas, and you don't have a real

00:47:48.960 job, and you tell me, like, I'm a comedian, like, whatever, dude, you know?

00:47:51.880 Where's your husband, you know?

00:47:53.620 Because everybody just thinks you're homosexual, you know?

00:47:55.740 Yeah, of course.

00:47:55.980 Until you get on some sort of television or platform.

00:47:58.260 Like, oh, he's actually very successful.

00:47:59.940 Yeah.

00:48:00.240 We should have been rooting him on.

00:48:01.800 Good for him.

00:48:02.600 Like, hey, maybe we'll scratch out these f***ing posters that we drew, you know?

00:48:06.680 Wait, actually, will you sign this?

00:48:08.720 I'm actually a huge fan.

00:48:09.640 And, like, it's a poster that says, you're a f***ing, you held up at my show.

00:48:13.900 But, yeah, I'll sign it.

00:48:15.220 Thanks, guy.

00:48:17.320 So, yeah, I think there's, like, so that kind of stuff gets tricky.

00:48:21.820 And then I think there comes a point where it's, like, you don't have anything else.

00:48:25.320 And so it's, like, whenever you give up anything else, like, there were times I quit to

00:48:28.460 do real estate.

00:48:29.480 There was times I quit.

00:48:30.480 And I f***ed up, like, the third contract I ever did and I had to pay somebody's lease

00:48:35.080 for, like, six months, dude.

00:48:36.260 How'd you f*** up that bad?

00:48:37.540 I f***ing put myself as the guarantor or whatever.

00:48:40.740 Are you shitting me?

00:48:41.420 That's crazy.

00:48:43.980 That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months' rent.

00:48:47.120 I had to go live with my girlfriend.

00:48:49.400 And I'm paying rent for these other motherfuckers.

00:48:52.500 I can't do this.

00:48:53.460 This is the worst part.

00:48:54.400 Damn.

00:48:55.400 I was going through some weird s*** sometimes and I would pee in the sink at night at my

00:48:58.860 girlfriends because I didn't want to pee loud and wake up the family, right?

00:49:01.560 Oh, with the family.

00:49:03.100 Oh, s***.

00:49:03.740 Yeah, with the family.

00:49:04.520 And the cat would go in there and, like, mill around in the sink and f***ing snitch me out.

00:49:10.120 The mom ended up knowing that I was urinating in the sink.

00:49:13.640 What's that talk sound like?

00:49:15.080 Ugh.

00:49:16.100 She said it.

00:49:16.680 Your boyfriend been peeing in the sink.

00:49:19.900 It's not the first boyfriend that's ever peed in the sink for her.

00:49:22.860 She's kind of into it.

00:49:24.240 The mom's into it for some reason.

00:49:25.400 I remember her daughter texting me, mom knows.

00:49:27.480 That's what she said.

00:49:28.940 But the pissing in the sink?

00:49:30.720 Who knows?

00:49:31.360 Whatever, Grace.

00:49:32.260 Whatever.

00:49:32.920 We're all going through it.

00:49:33.640 I suppose.

00:49:37.080 Goddamn.

00:49:38.140 You got, I mean, you're going to figure it out.

00:49:41.080 And I think it's interesting these days, I think because, I'll say this, there used

00:49:44.960 to be more of stairways for how people got into comedy, right?

00:49:49.420 There was, like, obviously you got on stage, but then you got on different, like, little,

00:49:55.000 like, there was, like, a Comedy Central 10 Minutes, or there was, like, these, now there's,

00:50:00.600 like, Dry Bar and different groups like that, but there was other small groups where you

00:50:04.280 did comedy sets that they put out there, right?

00:50:07.360 And now a lot of that's disappearing.

00:50:09.180 There was, like, what was that late show?

00:50:11.280 There were some late shows where you would just sit around in a panel, right?

00:50:17.800 Where people would start to build their name.

00:50:20.580 And now I think just a lot of, like, podcasting has kind of become that.

00:50:23.580 It's taken the place of a lot of things.

00:50:25.140 That's true, yeah.

00:50:26.080 Whereas before there was, like, maybe more acting roles or things like that for comedy.

00:50:30.440 Mm-hmm.

00:50:31.240 That, because there's not even that many comedies now, like shows.

00:50:35.820 Not really.

00:50:36.600 No, not so much.

00:50:37.460 I think that's, I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that

00:50:41.680 they're trying to cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been, like, a lull.

00:50:46.380 Yeah.

00:50:46.660 That's what I heard.

00:50:47.360 So I think that you have to have some place where you start to build, you know, that's,

00:50:53.800 like, an entertainment outlet.

00:50:54.920 So I think podcasting is that, you know?

00:50:56.620 Yeah, no, that's true.

00:50:56.640 I think it's just kind of become that.

00:50:58.480 Or TikToker or some sort of, like, just, you know, people's own social media, you know?

00:51:03.680 Because, sure, you have the podcast, but then also the clips are kind of what bring people

00:51:07.200 into your world a lot of times.

00:51:08.580 Yeah, that's true.

00:51:09.700 That is really true.

00:51:10.600 I don't feel like I'm preaching at you, do I?

00:51:12.000 No, no, no.

00:51:12.420 I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because I, clearly I need it.

00:51:16.260 I need it all the information that I need it.

00:51:19.000 I know it's been a while since you had a man in you, but this ain't it.

00:51:22.500 But you don't, don't take any of my ideas.

00:51:24.560 No, no, don't take any of my, I'm not trying to give you any advice.

00:51:27.540 No, no, no.

00:51:28.100 That was, that was the advice you gave.

00:51:29.480 Don't, don't, don't take anyone's advice.

00:51:31.780 Was it?

00:51:32.020 The other night.

00:51:32.640 Oh, good.

00:51:33.160 You said, oh, well, I just fucked that up.

00:51:35.720 Because that's even advice, huh?

00:51:37.340 Damn, what an idiot.

00:51:38.160 I guess I haven't podcasted in a while.

00:51:39.900 I'm pretty rusty.

00:51:41.540 You seem great.

00:51:42.140 I'm usually, I'm usually good with the banter.

00:51:43.840 No, you're always great.

00:51:44.760 I'm usually good with the jokes.

00:51:46.300 I feel like you're doing good.

00:51:47.480 Your sister's here.

00:51:48.600 Yeah, shout out Nora.

00:51:50.140 What's up, Nora?

00:51:50.560 Nora's here.

00:51:51.080 We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University.

00:51:54.360 Wow.

00:51:54.900 And we're trying to figure out what we're going to do with her.

00:51:57.200 She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working

00:52:02.100 together.

00:52:03.160 So.

00:52:04.160 Do you have some skill sets, Nora?

00:52:06.120 I don't know.

00:52:06.740 I can edit.

00:52:07.540 You can edit.

00:52:07.940 She can edit.

00:52:08.540 Yeah.

00:52:08.860 So we're thinking she's going to be doing like the social media side of things.

00:52:12.620 Great.

00:52:12.860 Yeah.

00:52:13.360 So.

00:52:14.360 That'd be nice.

00:52:15.200 She's tagging along.

00:52:15.840 It's good to have, it's good to have someone that knows you very well.

00:52:19.080 Yeah.

00:52:19.280 So.

00:52:20.100 Yeah.

00:52:20.280 And just find new things that are creative.

00:52:22.040 Yeah.

00:52:22.160 That's just like one of my goals I start thinking of for this year.

00:52:24.320 It's like, well, what things could I do that would be create, like, would seem like unique

00:52:28.380 or that could try and be more creative.

00:52:30.700 Mm-hmm.

00:52:31.600 What do you, what do you got so far?

00:52:32.680 Well, you have to, that movie's coming out.

00:52:35.340 Yeah.

00:52:35.520 Me and David Spade are making a movie.

00:52:37.060 You're making a movie.

00:52:37.820 It's in the process of being made right now.

00:52:40.460 We still have to, yeah.

00:52:41.140 Gotcha.

00:52:41.280 We wrote it and we start making it in January.

00:52:44.320 What's the writing process for that like?

00:52:46.180 Are you allowed to talk about it?

00:52:47.100 Yeah.

00:52:47.460 We just try, I mean, it took us like two years and we try to get financing.

00:52:50.140 Nobody wanted to help.

00:52:51.320 And so we're making it ourselves.

00:52:52.720 Oh, no shit.

00:52:53.520 Yeah.

00:52:53.760 Fuck yeah.

00:52:53.920 That's sick.

00:52:54.760 So it's like, yeah, I think I thought like I never wanted to be an actor or anything like

00:52:59.320 that.

00:52:59.520 And I don't really think that that is a world of mine, but I thought like if I look back

00:53:04.640 and I was like, I get a chance to make, I got to do something with David Spade.

00:53:08.060 Yeah.

00:53:08.400 Who I like idolized.

00:53:09.720 Um, and you, do you Skype and write or we would write together and I still have my apartment

00:53:16.440 in LA.

00:53:17.060 Oh, gotcha.

00:53:17.420 So whenever I'm there, well, we, we've worked on it over the years in tons of ways, but it's

00:53:21.700 been fun.

00:53:22.080 I can't even believe it.

00:53:23.140 I definitely have learned a lot and, um, we think that it's funny, you know, but if I

00:53:29.020 look, I'm laying in my deathbed or whatever, I think it'd be neat to be able to say that

00:53:33.240 I got to do that.

00:53:34.380 Absolutely.

00:53:34.700 And also that I tried to do it, you know, cause people may make it seem like you can't do

00:53:39.200 this.

00:53:39.580 You have to have all these special people.

00:53:41.160 Like I haven't had an agent help me.

00:53:43.080 Nobody's.

00:53:43.760 Uh, and so that to me is like the kind of shit that I like.

00:53:46.660 You know, you don't think I can do this?

00:53:48.700 Watch me.

00:53:49.460 Yeah.

00:53:49.620 Fuck you.

00:53:50.200 You know, I'll prove you wrong.

00:53:51.280 Yeah.

00:53:51.740 There's nothing.

00:53:52.340 The only thing difference between you and me is that you've done it already.

00:53:56.200 That's the only thing.

00:53:57.400 That's fair.

00:53:57.960 I don't know.

00:53:58.500 That shit makes me fucking activated for some reason.

00:54:00.680 Sorry.

00:54:00.860 You're locked in.

00:54:01.720 I love to see that.

00:54:02.460 I don't know why.

00:54:03.180 Well, you're excited.

00:54:04.180 You jazz.

00:54:04.760 I don't even know if I'm excited.

00:54:05.720 I think I'm just fucking angry.

00:54:07.680 I'm going to hide somebody's kneecaps in their ass, dude.

00:54:10.760 Dude, you and Spade just Spaded people?

00:54:12.920 I mean, it'd be, look, if anything, I get to sit around with him for five weeks and

00:54:17.480 laugh and we have a good time.

00:54:19.000 So it'd be cool.

00:54:19.480 That's so sick.

00:54:20.660 When do you know something like that's done?

00:54:23.020 I don't know.

00:54:24.660 That's the toughest thing.

00:54:25.660 It's scariest is that like, you know, once you move on, you can't, there's no, like that

00:54:31.540 scene or whatever is locked in.

00:54:33.320 Yeah.

00:54:34.040 You know?

00:54:34.700 And I'm not a great actor, you know, it's like, I, you know, I'm going to do my best.

00:54:38.080 I have a plan and, um, and I'm excited about what we wrote.

00:54:42.820 You also worry that if you wrote it now and it comes out in seven months, will any of

00:54:47.580 the, will it jokes still be funny?

00:54:49.560 I'm sure.

00:54:50.300 That sort of thing.

00:54:51.100 I'm sure.

00:54:51.440 You guys have timeless, timeless humor.

00:54:53.360 He does.

00:54:53.920 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, dude, but he's definitely, so I don't know.

00:54:57.180 It's, you know, it's just a lot of little things you learn like, oh, this is maybe why

00:55:00.460 I don't, this isn't something that I love.

00:55:02.780 Um, what did your mom get you for, uh, Christmas?

00:55:07.400 Uh, my mom, my mom got me, uh, a megaphone for Christmas and I got her a trip to Hawaii.

00:55:15.320 So, uh, a little different.

00:55:17.200 And her dad, your dad too, to go to Hawaii?

00:55:19.200 That's, that's what's kind of fucked up.

00:55:21.000 I'm realizing, but, uh, but my father and I, we have a, a, a tricky relationship.

00:55:26.080 Really?

00:55:26.540 Yeah.

00:55:27.200 And do y'all have any brothers?

00:55:28.320 Does he have any sons?

00:55:29.180 No, even the dog's a lady.

00:55:31.100 So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says, but it's what he gets, he says.

00:55:36.180 I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up, so.

00:55:38.240 Was he to who?

00:55:38.960 To women?

00:55:40.480 I, it must be, yeah.

00:55:42.520 He must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it.

00:55:45.280 That's what I get.

00:55:46.260 Four women and a, and a lady dog.

00:55:48.820 Yeah.

00:55:49.340 Yeah.

00:55:49.760 And what happened again?

00:55:50.740 He was in a fire?

00:55:51.540 What happened?

00:55:51.760 He was in, um, he was electro, uh, electrocuted on the job.

00:55:54.660 So, he's the guy when the lights go off in the city, he turns them on.

00:55:58.480 And, uh, he got zippity zapped and, uh, now we're, now we're doing the same drugs.

00:56:05.020 Yeah.

00:56:05.420 He takes, uh, he takes, he does ketamine therapy.

00:56:08.400 Does he really?

00:56:09.060 Yeah.

00:56:09.560 And I, uh, he does his in, uh, a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge.

00:56:15.040 It's a little different.

00:56:17.080 Dude, my buddy Ernest used to do it in a car wash all the time.

00:56:19.880 He'd call me.

00:56:21.120 I'm like, how are you doing?

00:56:22.180 He's like, ketamine in the car wash.

00:56:23.460 It's raining.

00:56:24.020 Wow.

00:56:26.920 And is your dad kind of a romantic guy still?

00:56:28.820 Do they still have a romantic relationship with your parents?

00:56:30.700 Um, no.

00:56:32.000 I'm just trying to envision him.

00:56:33.020 Just absolutely no.

00:56:33.800 Uh, picture like any, uh, Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, uh, wide,

00:56:42.540 uh, one, one dead tooth.

00:56:44.780 Oh yeah.

00:56:45.520 Uh.

00:56:46.140 The old Andrea Gale, huh?

00:56:47.460 Yes.

00:56:48.140 It, um, uh, chewing tobacco, but he doesn't care anymore.

00:56:51.140 It's just all in his teeth.

00:56:52.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:53.200 It's just all like.

00:56:53.860 It's a fucking salad bar hanging out of his face.

00:56:56.280 Like a confetti.

00:56:57.480 Oh yeah.

00:56:58.460 Confetti tobacco.

00:56:59.760 All over.

00:57:01.360 Confetti.

00:57:02.220 It's like every day's a party in his mouth.

00:57:05.580 Yeah.

00:57:07.320 Um.

00:57:08.180 Yeah.

00:57:08.820 Yeah.

00:57:10.260 Yeah.

00:57:10.700 Yeah.

00:57:10.780 Like that guy that's fucking whistling tunes of, just, just whistling the soundtrack of The

00:57:15.300 Departed all the time.

00:57:17.260 Just rehearsing for lines he doesn't even have.

00:57:20.340 He just always wanted to be a mobster.

00:57:21.680 Who's on the, who was on your Boston, um, Mount Rushmore?

00:57:26.740 We've got, um, Ben Affleck.

00:57:30.100 Oh yeah.

00:57:31.280 Matt Damon.

00:57:32.680 Mm-hmm.

00:57:33.720 And then it used to be, it used to be, uh, Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he

00:57:40.940 wakes up too early in the morning and gets, gets too swollen too early.

00:57:45.220 Yeah.

00:57:45.660 Yeah.

00:57:45.820 It got him, got bizarre, but he was also selling liquor too.

00:57:48.100 That was a strange, I was like, you're, it's selling a liquor, but you're also up so early.

00:57:52.480 How do you know?

00:57:53.060 His hands are in too many baskets.

00:57:54.540 I don't trust him.

00:57:55.660 He has his hands in too many things.

00:57:56.900 Does he seem like, do you think he still has the pulse of the streets in Boston or no?

00:58:02.520 Nah.

00:58:03.400 I think he lost that.

00:58:04.200 He went full Hollywood.

00:58:05.520 He might've.

00:58:06.020 He lost us.

00:58:06.980 He moved to Vegas now, I think.

00:58:08.480 I think he lives in Las Vegas.

00:58:10.140 Yeah.

00:58:11.200 Nice guy.

00:58:11.920 Busy man.

00:58:12.960 Busy.

00:58:13.540 He's busy.

00:58:14.240 Done a lot.

00:58:15.200 He has.

00:58:17.000 And it starts early on.

00:58:18.980 Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.

00:58:21.960 He did that?

00:58:22.680 He did that.

00:58:23.460 Oh, I didn't know all that.

00:58:25.660 Oh.

00:58:26.720 You can't get caught.

00:58:28.040 He's, he's not stopping Asian hate at all.

00:58:29.860 Yeah.

00:58:30.260 And that's a shit, yeah.

00:58:31.180 The brothers picked it up a couple of years ago.

00:58:32.880 Remember when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere?

00:58:35.240 Were they?

00:58:35.940 Yeah.

00:58:36.300 They were zapping?

00:58:37.240 Yeah.

00:58:38.720 Your brothers are the brother brothers.

00:58:40.500 The brothers was zapping Asians everywhere.

00:58:43.680 And the news kept being like, Asian people are under attack.

00:58:47.420 And they're like, yeah, my brothers.

00:58:48.980 It was the brothers and my father.

00:58:50.180 My dad just is sparky now.

00:58:52.760 Yeah.

00:58:53.260 Your dad's like that guy who just walks across the floor like this.

00:58:56.120 And he's like, ugh.

00:58:58.180 Remember doing that shit to people?

00:58:59.740 Oh, yeah.

00:59:00.280 I get people good.

00:59:01.180 I used to, my favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around.

00:59:06.100 And say, oh, you sit on it.

00:59:07.500 It's all right.

00:59:08.100 And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.

00:59:12.100 They sit on the milk carton and it opens?

00:59:13.440 Yeah.

00:59:13.880 People did that to me.

00:59:15.020 Really?

00:59:15.440 Yeah.

00:59:15.760 It wasn't me who was doing that to people.

00:59:17.240 Would you ever, would it open under you or not?

00:59:19.300 Always every time.

00:59:20.060 Really?

00:59:20.340 And I fell for it every time.

00:59:21.280 It was foolish.

00:59:22.420 I got jumped a lot growing up.

00:59:23.860 You did?

00:59:24.400 I did, yeah.

00:59:25.420 By who?

00:59:26.220 One time from a black man.

00:59:27.860 Oh, yeah.

00:59:28.300 That was good.

00:59:29.200 That was at a 21 Savage concert.

00:59:31.100 That's the old, yeah.

00:59:32.420 Yeah.

00:59:33.320 That's the Irish hello right there.

00:59:35.060 Yeah.

00:59:35.660 Was it a 21 Savage concert?

00:59:37.380 Yeah.

00:59:38.280 I could see that.

00:59:38.540 He was kind of windmilling me and I was pissing my pants, crying.

00:59:41.960 And then all of a sudden, 21 Savage said, yo, y'all wilding down there.

00:59:46.100 Y'all got to chill.

00:59:47.460 And I'm like, can you help?

00:59:49.700 It was crazy.

00:59:50.260 Were you wilding or you were not?

00:59:51.740 I was getting wilded on.

00:59:53.060 Okay.

00:59:53.300 You're getting wilded on.

00:59:53.920 Oh, my God.

00:59:54.900 Yeah.

00:59:55.680 Sorry that happened.

00:59:56.540 No, it was brutal.

00:59:57.400 And it was good, though, because my buddy didn't even try to help.

01:00:01.820 The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen.

01:00:05.720 And she did.

01:00:06.280 She let it happen.

01:00:07.380 No way.

01:00:08.020 So there wasn't even any female support?

01:00:10.920 No.

01:00:11.500 It was just, yeah.

01:00:12.300 It was just a-

01:00:12.780 Oh, baby girl.

01:00:13.560 That's tough.

01:00:14.140 Yeah, no.

01:00:15.100 It's quite the story, though.

01:00:16.700 I went to school the next day with a black eye.

01:00:19.040 From a black eye.

01:00:20.120 Yeah.

01:00:20.360 So that was nice.

01:00:21.400 It was kind of cool.

01:00:21.820 Yeah, like, oh, and then they say that's cultural.

01:00:24.440 Appropriation.

01:00:24.940 You're like, give me a fucking break, dude.

01:00:28.200 I just pretend it was from sex.

01:00:30.360 Aw.

01:00:32.820 Nice, dude.

01:00:33.560 Wow.

01:00:34.020 I just keep bringing it back to that.

01:00:37.000 Well, I'm sorry that some-

01:00:38.440 Yeah, you got abused by a brother like that.

01:00:40.340 No, it's all good.

01:00:41.660 You could have gotten knocked up, though.

01:00:44.400 That would have been nice.

01:00:45.440 Have you dated a lot of black men over the years?

01:00:47.140 No dating.

01:00:48.320 That's what-

01:00:48.860 You haven't dated either?

01:00:49.880 No.

01:00:50.580 What?

01:00:50.920 Well, like, I've been on three dates in my life.

01:00:53.420 Like, are you serious, Chris?

01:00:55.060 Yeah.

01:00:55.540 Like, the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house.

01:00:58.760 So I said, I think I'm good for now.

01:01:01.180 Oh, for now, yeah.

01:01:02.620 Yeah, for now.

01:01:03.460 Two weeks later, you're like, let's run it back.

01:01:05.160 Like, yeah, dude.

01:01:05.940 Just, you know, lock your camera up, I guess.

01:01:08.820 Yeah, so that was brutal.

01:01:10.340 I got to think of somebody who could have said-

01:01:11.740 Well, now, that's sad.

01:01:12.900 I shouldn't have said that.

01:01:14.240 No, it's all right.

01:01:15.080 Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous.

01:01:19.540 I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered, and I thought that he was, like, just wicked drunken slurring his words.

01:01:27.740 Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment.

01:01:29.880 Oh.

01:01:30.160 And I didn't realize, and I didn't pick up on that, and he sent me a very long text.

01:01:34.040 I have a speech impediment, and I don't know why-

01:01:36.040 Very long.

01:01:36.920 Yeah.

01:01:37.620 And he said, I didn't know why you didn't like the champagne I bought you at the dive bar.

01:01:43.180 I said, oh, I'm sorry.

01:01:44.140 I guess we just want different things.

01:01:45.780 Ugh.

01:01:46.360 Yeah.

01:01:47.040 I don't know.

01:01:47.780 I don't have a good track record.

01:01:49.620 Well, yeah, I think you do.

01:01:50.680 I think it's just, you know, I think, I have no idea.

01:01:55.260 Yes, Papa?

01:01:56.280 I know.

01:01:57.400 I'm not going to fucking tell you, dude.

01:02:00.160 It's quite all right.

01:02:01.020 It's just a part of me.

01:02:01.260 No, we're going to get some fucking real dogs in here to smash you, Gracie.

01:02:05.200 Hell yeah.

01:02:05.760 Is that better?

01:02:06.760 Have you seen that girl?

01:02:07.740 Have you seen that girl who got railed by, like, 150 guys?

01:02:11.120 Oh, yeah.

01:02:11.660 I saw that.

01:02:12.960 I don't know how I feel about that.

01:02:14.040 I don't know what to do with that.

01:02:15.440 It's just a thing that happens.

01:02:17.840 She's almost like the Evel Knievel of, like, pussy or whatever.

01:02:20.800 Yeah.

01:02:21.040 She's kind of doing, like, magic.

01:02:22.660 Like, I don't know.

01:02:24.260 She's, like, adding time.

01:02:25.820 She's doing daylight savings or something.

01:02:27.420 Yeah.

01:02:28.240 That's a lot of time spent.

01:02:30.080 Yeah.

01:02:30.560 It just seems crazy.

01:02:31.580 And then what are you really doing?

01:02:33.160 It's almost just like if people are just running and just kind of jousting themselves

01:02:38.540 into your vagina real quick and then we're running off.

01:02:40.860 It's like a meet and greet with their dick out.

01:02:42.740 Yeah.

01:02:43.180 Yeah.

01:02:43.500 Just like, next.

01:02:45.260 Yeah.

01:02:45.600 Lily Phillips is her name.

01:02:46.920 She's a gorgeous, um...

01:02:48.400 British OnlyFans.

01:02:49.320 British girl, yeah.

01:02:50.300 Well, I wonder if this is the thing you're starting to see because of OnlyFans, like, people

01:02:53.460 are having to start to one-up each other.

01:02:55.140 Yeah.

01:02:55.460 Well, this is going the extra goddamn mile.

01:02:58.640 Um...

01:02:58.840 Yeah.

01:03:00.840 This is...

01:03:01.160 I don't know if I would even enjoy something like that, you know?

01:03:04.960 Like, I mean, even if you were doing it, you know, you were like, I'm gonna make love

01:03:08.120 to a hundred women.

01:03:09.100 I'd be like, I'd like eleven women.

01:03:11.180 I would definitely want to chill, have a Gatorade or something, get on my phone.

01:03:14.480 Yeah.

01:03:14.500 It's like, yeah.

01:03:15.200 Like, what's, uh...

01:03:16.120 I don't know why I was gonna ask that.

01:03:18.620 Listen to some Scott Stapp or whatever.

01:03:20.060 Did you see that Scott Stapp, that their band has made more this year than they ever

01:03:24.500 made before?

01:03:25.540 Who did?

01:03:26.940 I thought that was pretty interesting.

01:03:28.360 Bring that up, brother.

01:03:29.780 There goes my hero.

01:03:32.740 You know that song?

01:03:33.340 Watch out how he goes.

01:03:35.340 Yeah?

01:03:35.840 Is that it?

01:03:36.280 Yeah.

01:03:38.060 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

01:03:40.460 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

01:03:43.160 Whoa.

01:03:43.860 Is this economy?

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01:03:48.200 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

01:03:52.940 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

01:03:55.960 It's kinda like, I'm already on vacation.

01:03:59.120 Nice.

01:04:00.380 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

01:04:03.400 Wi-Fi available to airplane members on equipped flights.

01:04:05.500 Sponsored by Bell.

01:04:06.140 Conditions apply.

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01:05:12.200 Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

01:05:15.520 BetterHelp.

01:05:16.800 You know, it's a new year here in the world.

01:05:20.600 And that means that you might have the same problems.

01:05:24.900 That's what I'm noticing for myself.

01:05:26.800 I've got some of the same things.

01:05:28.480 And I'm not getting into self-pity, but I'm just noticing, hey, some of this stuff, I keep carrying it.

01:05:34.200 I keep carrying it.

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01:06:21.560 Dude, your friends were so funny the other night.

01:06:23.840 You're the best friends.

01:06:24.820 So, yeah, those are my friends from growing up.

01:06:26.100 What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan.

01:06:30.460 And her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.

01:06:35.060 That guy, I think one of his lips was sweating a little.

01:06:37.280 Yeah, he was losing it.

01:06:39.260 And she had her phone out and she did exactly what I asked her not to do.

01:06:45.060 And she had her flash and she recorded a video.

01:06:48.260 And I was like, she thought she was taking a picture.

01:06:50.520 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:06:51.500 She actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying,

01:06:56.720 yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:57.660 I think so, yeah.

01:06:59.560 That's all right.

01:07:00.700 I was so embarrassed.

01:07:01.360 The scary part is if you think somebody recorded your whole conversation,

01:07:03.580 just because then you don't even know what you've said.

01:07:05.140 No, no, my God, no.

01:07:05.820 Not that you say something crazy.

01:07:07.000 We're having a good time.

01:07:07.900 No, I would have had to delete that.

01:07:09.760 I was so upset.

01:07:10.720 You know, like you ask your friends to do one thing,

01:07:12.500 which please don't do that one thing.

01:07:13.940 And they do that one thing.

01:07:14.840 Yeah.

01:07:15.220 I was like, ah, fuck.

01:07:15.940 That's being alive.

01:07:17.060 Being alive is an interesting.

01:07:18.260 They made it interesting.

01:07:20.360 Here, right here, Creed reached their highest calendar year earnings in 2024,

01:07:23.940 grossing $64.8 million from 825,000 tickets across 55 performances.

01:07:29.760 Damn.

01:07:30.420 That's their highest calendar year earnings.

01:07:33.280 Is that ever?

01:07:34.300 Is there any more information with it?

01:07:35.500 So Creed's never been hotter than right now?

01:07:38.920 That's crazy to think because weren't they playing stadiums before?

01:07:43.160 You know what would be a good idea?

01:07:43.980 I've been saying this is there should be a comedian at the halftime for the Super Bowl.

01:07:51.720 That's a horrible idea.

01:07:53.900 Yeah.

01:07:54.900 I want to do it.

01:07:55.880 You do?

01:07:56.400 Yeah.

01:07:57.260 Grace, you would be –

01:07:58.540 I would fail miserably.

01:08:00.340 You think you would?

01:08:01.100 I don't know.

01:08:01.760 Maybe give me, what, 11 years?

01:08:03.720 Oh, 11 years.

01:08:04.680 Yeah, I thought you were talking about in a couple of months.

01:08:06.000 Oh, right now?

01:08:06.560 No, no.

01:08:06.980 God, no.

01:08:07.700 No, I could pull that, though, if I wanted to.

01:08:09.680 It'd be hard.

01:08:11.540 I think it would be way too scary.

01:08:13.100 It would do like half music, half – you've got to find like the good happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes.

01:08:20.960 It would be – yeah, I think it would be –

01:08:22.380 It would be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far.

01:08:25.940 Fuck, it would be brave of you.

01:08:28.100 I would pledge allegiance to that.

01:08:32.640 Salute on that.

01:08:33.860 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:34.200 That would be intense.

01:08:36.160 There goes my hero.

01:08:39.020 Dude, does Creed even sing that song?

01:08:41.160 I have no idea.

01:08:43.360 Truly and honestly.

01:08:43.940 But yeah, it says right there, Creed earned more money in 2024 than they did in any other year over the 30-year career.

01:08:49.540 Oh, so they've never been hotter.

01:08:51.140 Good for them.

01:08:52.520 My hero.

01:08:53.160 Oh, no, it's about Foo Fighters.

01:08:54.000 Oh, shit.

01:08:54.580 I was like, what's Creed?

01:08:58.960 Fucking who knows, dude.

01:09:00.300 I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I saw a kid rock the other night on New Year's.

01:09:03.940 He looked like he was about to –

01:09:06.120 Like he'd been through it.

01:09:07.020 Yeah.

01:09:07.520 Oh, yeah.

01:09:08.480 He looked like crack rock, dude.

01:09:09.720 Pull up that video of him from the other night.

01:09:12.680 No, I saw him with my own eyes.

01:09:14.860 Oh, you did?

01:09:15.400 And he looked like he was about to go out on a stretcher.

01:09:19.220 Is that always the thing?

01:09:20.500 Is that his kind of his deal?

01:09:21.500 So that's not always a thing, but he –

01:09:23.200 Oh, did somebody get a video of him?

01:09:24.840 Yeah, this is it.

01:09:26.660 He definitely –

01:09:28.140 He looked a lot worse upstairs.

01:09:31.080 Well, at least he's pretty healthy right there.

01:09:32.820 Yeah, I know.

01:09:33.320 He was clean.

01:09:33.620 He looked like a good drinking night out.

01:09:35.220 He was shaking good.

01:09:37.520 You know what?

01:09:37.880 Was he up – was he singing?

01:09:39.680 I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.

01:09:41.080 Did he go to –

01:09:41.640 Oh, he's the best – he's the best at taking jokes and telling jokes.

01:09:45.980 Oh, good.

01:09:46.420 All right.

01:09:46.760 Yeah.

01:09:47.420 Hopefully he had a good time.

01:09:48.520 Yeah, no, he had a blast.

01:09:48.760 I almost met him for dinner that night, actually.

01:09:50.720 Oh, really?

01:09:51.020 Have you ever spent time around him?

01:09:52.560 No, just that one hi and bye kind of thing.

01:09:56.060 You should do his comedy festival.

01:09:57.100 He does a comedy show here every year that Ryman is for charity.

01:10:00.520 Oh, no shit.

01:10:01.000 It'd be fun to get along.

01:10:01.720 Oh, hell yeah.

01:10:02.480 If you wanted to, if you guys got to meet and you guys got along.

01:10:06.280 I'm trying to think –

01:10:08.060 You think he'd fuck with me?

01:10:09.560 Yeah.

01:10:10.280 Are you fucking with me?

01:10:10.960 He's a sweetheart.

01:10:12.600 Yeah.

01:10:13.300 All right.

01:10:13.880 I'm fucking with you.

01:10:14.460 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

01:10:15.840 I'm a fan.

01:10:16.540 All right, let's go.

01:10:17.480 I think you're –

01:10:19.020 Yeah, I'm curious to see.

01:10:21.440 Yeah, I'm just excited to fucking be along for the ride and see what goes on.

01:10:25.140 Yeah, thank you, man.

01:10:26.260 I'm really pumped for your movie.

01:10:27.360 That sounds like really exciting stuff.

01:10:28.740 So when do you start filming that?

01:10:29.900 We'll see.

01:10:30.440 January 10th.

01:10:31.620 Yeah, I don't want to think too much about it because I think it's –

01:10:33.200 What if it's horrible and then it's like you have to put it out?

01:10:35.300 All right, yeah.

01:10:35.580 Just enjoy it.

01:10:36.440 Just enjoy it.

01:10:36.960 Don't talk about it.

01:10:37.760 Just do it.

01:10:38.760 Real G's moving silence like lasagna.

01:10:40.480 Yeah.

01:10:41.060 That kind of shit.

01:10:41.700 So that's the kind of shit we're doing.

01:10:43.360 I'm trying to think of – you have a new podcast coming out or it's out already?

01:10:47.380 Coming out.

01:10:48.120 Okay.

01:10:48.600 I want to talk about that.

01:10:49.940 I signed with a new network.

01:10:51.920 Have you heard the Unwell Network?

01:10:53.480 Yep, with Alex Cooper, right?

01:10:54.760 With Alex Cooper.

01:10:55.280 Okay.

01:10:55.940 I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair, blue

01:11:00.220 eye, pretty girls there.

01:11:02.420 Are you considered a diversity hire?

01:11:04.060 Yeah.

01:11:04.460 Why?

01:11:04.760 Because you're brewing redheaded?

01:11:06.160 Redheaded.

01:11:06.820 I just bring a different kind of flavor.

01:11:09.700 So –

01:11:10.300 Oh, yeah.

01:11:11.060 Bah.

01:11:12.020 Bay leaf, huh?

01:11:13.140 Back bay leaf.

01:11:15.240 Yeah.

01:11:16.220 Do they have back bay leaves?

01:11:18.460 I think they might.

01:11:19.800 Grace and Allie is officially Unwell.

01:11:22.120 So that means you're officially working with their network.

01:11:23.780 So that's happened.

01:11:24.620 That's happened, yes.

01:11:25.420 Okay.

01:11:25.680 So that happened like right before the new year and then –

01:11:28.040 Did you know that was coming?

01:11:29.280 Was there –

01:11:30.680 I – they hopped on it quick, so I –

01:11:33.180 Did you already separate it from your previous podcast before this happened?

01:11:36.940 Yes.

01:11:37.340 Yes.

01:11:37.660 And so I – that happened on – I left Barstool on Sunday and then I got the call Monday

01:11:44.060 and we had papers signed by Thursday.

01:11:46.380 Wow.

01:11:46.740 So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.

01:11:49.480 And is it a better deal than you had at Barstool?

01:11:51.480 Yeah.

01:11:51.940 Oh, that's good.

01:11:52.480 Yeah, I'm excited about that.

01:11:53.440 You feel good about it?

01:11:54.100 I feel good, yeah.

01:11:54.960 Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore

01:11:58.440 and I'm going deaf in my left ear.

01:12:01.020 Oh, yeah.

01:12:01.280 It's true, huh?

01:12:01.780 So I'm going to have to figure that out.

01:12:03.460 And especially if you start taking on a lot of kicks this year, you're probably going

01:12:07.060 to need some health insurance, you know?

01:12:09.220 I'm going to need a couple of Plan B pills and whatnot.

01:12:12.980 Oh, yeah.

01:12:13.680 Get you a little – a couple grams of Plan B, yeah.

01:12:16.560 I'll buy them bulk.

01:12:17.760 Yeah.

01:12:18.420 I'll get it from Kid Rock.

01:12:19.340 Yeah, get it something from that ditch on you, dude.

01:12:25.020 He'll sell you something, bro.

01:12:26.800 I already got that.

01:12:27.580 Dude, Plan B should do a powder, huh?

01:12:29.240 Yeah.

01:12:29.940 How great would it be to do a line of Plan B?

01:12:31.840 Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.

01:12:35.820 I'd do it.

01:12:36.680 Goodbye!

01:12:37.080 Goodbye!

01:12:40.480 I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night.

01:12:48.440 Oh, fuck.

01:12:49.060 Yeah, that was good.

01:12:50.400 Oh, yeah.

01:12:50.940 They know I like this stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which

01:12:56.160 I thought was hilarious.

01:12:57.740 So cool.

01:12:58.500 It's just interesting.

01:12:59.880 Were you able to use any of it or not?

01:13:01.380 I preferred not to just because circumstantially it was unknown where the origin was from.

01:13:09.380 Yeah, you know where it's coming from.

01:13:09.540 For sure.

01:13:10.080 Absolutely.

01:13:10.880 Yeah, dude.

01:13:11.560 My buddy's aunt used to fucking shed like a hole in her throat or whatever, and they

01:13:14.920 used to boof cocaine right down it.

01:13:16.220 That's fucking awesome.

01:13:17.280 That's sick.

01:13:18.960 Just rocket that shit.

01:13:19.660 I want to get there.

01:13:20.760 Right through that little bird.

01:13:22.600 You got to be doing something right to get to that point.

01:13:24.540 Right through that little birdhouse door she had on her neck hole.

01:13:27.840 It's cuckoo.

01:13:29.000 Yeah.

01:13:29.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:30.640 She had that little birdhouse door.

01:13:34.020 What else is going on?

01:13:34.940 What else is happening in the news right now?

01:13:36.460 We have not confirmed that the explosion was caused by very large fireworks and or a bomb

01:13:43.640 carried in the bed of the rented Cybertruck and is unrelated to the vehicle itself.

01:13:47.120 Oh, it could have been a fun time or terrorism.

01:13:50.880 Yeah.

01:13:51.760 Dude, the toughest thing about a Cybertruck, what do you drive, Grace?

01:13:54.240 What do you drive?

01:13:54.520 I don't have my license.

01:13:55.440 You don't have your license?

01:13:56.020 I live in New York.

01:13:57.120 Oh, you don't even need it, huh?

01:13:58.100 Yeah.

01:13:58.640 I used to have it, but I just let it expire.

01:14:01.580 I used to drive.

01:14:02.540 I used to drive.

01:14:03.340 And I had a Lincoln, 2002 Lincoln presidential town car, which is either an elderly person

01:14:12.260 or a pimp.

01:14:13.900 I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys.

01:14:15.640 Very prestigious, yeah.

01:14:16.600 Yeah, three in the front, three in the back.

01:14:20.140 That was the fucking cruiser.

01:14:21.840 We loved that thing.

01:14:22.740 It was awesome.

01:14:23.460 Whipping that bitch, boy.

01:14:24.780 That thing was classic.

01:14:25.960 Whipping work in that bitch, son.

01:14:28.080 That thing's awesome.

01:14:29.340 Yeah.

01:14:29.900 It still smelled like my dead grandpa.

01:14:31.540 Oh, yeah.

01:14:32.100 It was good.

01:14:33.280 All right, Papa.

01:14:34.440 Yeah.

01:14:34.980 He's in that bitch for good.

01:14:36.120 I couldn't wait for him to croak to cop that thing.

01:14:38.440 You ever are.

01:14:41.740 Didn't you ever make out on your backseat of that car with any men or anything like that?

01:14:45.360 I mean, I'm sure you had some dates, huh?

01:14:46.720 We had plenty of room for it.

01:14:50.120 But I didn't know how we're dead.

01:14:52.480 God.

01:14:54.540 And Nora, you don't coach her on dating or anything?

01:14:56.500 It's hopeless.

01:14:59.660 Well, it's fine.

01:15:00.720 I'm not worried about it.

01:15:01.860 Right.

01:15:02.180 I'm not worried about it.

01:15:02.960 But it's just been something that's been in your life.

01:15:04.660 Mm-hmm.

01:15:05.260 Now, what if a man came along and he's looking for marriage?

01:15:07.520 Do you think that that's something you would actually consider, you think?

01:15:09.580 I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get and the bigger

01:15:13.920 reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start

01:15:18.540 to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be here forever.

01:15:21.680 Might be, huh?

01:15:22.220 Yeah.

01:15:22.700 He could be a real prick, too.

01:15:24.460 No.

01:15:24.900 I gotta lock it down.

01:15:26.120 He better be a prince.

01:15:27.940 He better be.

01:15:29.520 And there's gotta be some, I'm trying to think of, like, what's your ideal man?

01:15:36.280 Or do you even have it?

01:15:36.860 It's such a dumb question, isn't it?

01:15:38.320 Who gives a fuck?

01:15:39.260 I'll fuck it.

01:15:40.600 I'll tell this story.

01:15:41.700 Um, I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit.

01:15:45.340 Oh, yeah.

01:15:45.840 Big crush.

01:15:46.560 And, uh, I had met him at, at my work.

01:15:49.520 And, uh, I, I just word vomited.

01:15:52.220 Uh, I was talking to him and I, I dropped a sandwich that I was eating and he said, are

01:15:56.480 you gonna pick that up?

01:15:57.080 And I said, I gotta go.

01:15:57.940 And I just left.

01:15:58.680 Oh, yeah.

01:15:59.260 That kind of thing.

01:16:00.260 And I just kept running into him.

01:16:01.420 You pick it up, white boy.

01:16:02.440 That kind of shit.

01:16:03.480 Well, I just got really nervous that I wasn't playing cool at all.

01:16:06.620 Oh, it wasn't a stacked, uh, tactics.

01:16:09.500 No, no, I just, I just, I, I scrammed out of there.

01:16:12.000 Uh, but I just kept running into him that month, like a lot.

01:16:14.540 And it looked like I was stalking him.

01:16:16.220 And, uh, it, it, it ended with, he hosted Saturday Night Live.

01:16:19.800 I was at the after party and, uh, I'm like, I'm looking at him.

01:16:23.660 I'm like, don't look at him.

01:16:24.360 Don't look at him.

01:16:24.800 And I looked at him and go, Hey, congrats tonight, man.

01:16:26.740 He's like, yeah, thank you so much.

01:16:28.360 I said, yeah, uh, bet you're going to get mad pussy tonight, bro.

01:16:32.980 Oh, yeah.

01:16:33.880 I don't, yeah, you're not supposed to say that one.

01:16:37.100 And, uh, he said, what, what did you say?

01:16:39.380 And I said, ah, see, uh, and I just left the bathroom line.

01:16:46.100 I bought him a beer.

01:16:48.000 Fuck yeah, dude.

01:16:48.820 No, I respect your fucking move.

01:16:51.120 That's how I flirt.

01:16:52.240 Yeah.

01:16:52.740 You want this pussy?

01:16:53.880 You're never going to get it, whitey.

01:16:56.100 Don't you come honky honky and around this thing, around this little fucking kitty chamber,

01:17:02.200 whitey.

01:17:02.560 Um, yeah, that's just like a really great, um, example of how I operate.

01:17:09.620 Yeah.

01:17:09.900 So it all makes sense, right?

01:17:11.140 I feel you.

01:17:11.980 Sometimes I would get so nervous.

01:17:13.800 I followed a woman one time for like seven or eight, um, blocks and I finally caught up

01:17:19.400 to her and I was like, I was so nervous.

01:17:21.380 I just was like, I'm not following you.

01:17:23.080 That's what I said.

01:17:24.440 I fucking walked off.

01:17:25.860 Yeah.

01:17:26.640 Ugh.

01:17:27.340 I'm not following you.

01:17:28.520 And someone was uphill.

01:17:29.580 It was like obvious that I was fucking following her, dude.

01:17:31.900 My face was all wet.

01:17:33.480 She started running.

01:17:34.640 Huh?

01:17:35.080 She started running fast.

01:17:36.000 No, she's moving quick, kind of, you know, with pace or whatever.

01:17:39.760 Um, yeah, Shane just won Cracker of the Year.

01:17:42.860 Oh, yeah, that's a huge.

01:17:44.460 This is a new one by him, right?

01:17:47.660 By Mr. AB.

01:17:48.360 I don't know.

01:17:48.620 What is this?

01:17:50.260 AB.

01:17:51.440 He's got, uh, he did like a whole, like, he was giving awards out to everybody this year.

01:17:56.380 Oh, he was?

01:17:56.940 Yeah.

01:17:57.260 Antonio Brown?

01:17:57.960 Funny, yeah.

01:17:58.520 Funny as Cracker.

01:17:59.180 Somebody said Winter got to use the N, it did, that was his thing, Winter got to use

01:18:02.200 the N word.

01:18:02.840 Is that what Antonio said one time or something?

01:18:06.480 I got, I got, uh, a new goal for next year.

01:18:09.460 You do?

01:18:10.020 Yeah.

01:18:10.400 This is it?

01:18:10.940 This is it.

01:18:11.500 Cracker of the Year.

01:18:12.400 What do you get to say?

01:18:13.200 The N word?

01:18:13.800 I think you can do it once.

01:18:15.080 All right.

01:18:15.500 It's not like a, you don't even, it's not even like a month.

01:18:17.280 It's not that I want to.

01:18:18.120 It's just like, it'll be a nice perk.

01:18:19.520 No, yeah, you should, you just gotta be a prize.

01:18:21.880 Yeah.

01:18:22.360 Yeah, and I just not.

01:18:23.080 I wonder if you could say it like in public or does it have to be alone in the shower

01:18:26.300 or something?

01:18:27.100 I mean, you can, I don't, I don't say it.

01:18:29.660 I mean, I'll think it sometimes loudly or whatever, but you will not.

01:18:32.940 I'm not that guy.

01:18:33.880 I mean, somebody in our town used to write it down all the time and throw it in, like

01:18:38.300 put a message in a bottle and throw it out into the water.

01:18:41.360 And then it'd go downstream.

01:18:42.680 Yeah.

01:18:42.880 And then like some dad and his kid are just walking along the stream and the kid finds

01:18:47.500 it.

01:18:47.680 He's like, what's this?

01:18:48.840 Oh, this is a historic artifact.

01:18:52.700 It's just sad that that kind of shit is just like.

01:18:54.840 That's unfortunate.

01:18:56.240 It's that kind of shit that's ruining our waterways.

01:19:01.220 That's what I'm saying.

01:19:02.100 God damn.

01:19:03.880 Have you ever been in a contest?

01:19:05.820 Have you ever won?

01:19:06.240 Did you ever win like a most talented or funniest contest?

01:19:09.760 No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do.

01:19:14.060 Get out of here.

01:19:15.040 Crazy.

01:19:15.760 Crazy.

01:19:18.680 But, you know, you can't let that stop you.

01:19:21.400 I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school.

01:19:25.900 Nuh-uh.

01:19:26.340 Yeah.

01:19:26.940 So we did them at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award

01:19:30.280 at the end of the year.

01:19:31.020 You should have to be able to, you should have to stay in school to even be able to

01:19:33.660 do it.

01:19:34.060 That's what I'm saying.

01:19:35.580 It wasn't fair.

01:19:37.240 And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead.

01:19:40.560 I had like a 1.5 GPA.

01:19:42.880 Oh, so you were not educated?

01:19:43.920 I was, I was not.

01:19:44.760 Uh, I was, I was too worried about, uh, having fun and, and cracking jokes.

01:19:48.680 Oh, so you were part, you were having a good time.

01:19:50.000 I was blasting off, yeah.

01:19:51.320 Okay.

01:19:51.760 I wasn't as like much of a lose.

01:19:54.300 I just wasn't getting laid, but I was, I was cool.

01:19:56.520 I was having fun.

01:19:57.260 And were you getting wasted at parties and stuff and like having you?

01:20:00.100 Oh, absolutely.

01:20:00.780 People didn't like having me around, uh, because if you got stuck with me, you would

01:20:04.540 have, you would be dragging me out of the woods.

01:20:06.140 Yeah.

01:20:06.620 Yeah.

01:20:06.900 I would fall flat.

01:20:07.920 Oh, really?

01:20:08.600 Yeah.

01:20:09.020 You were fucking just, I was just, the party stops here, boys.

01:20:13.840 If a tree falls in the woods, you're going to hear it.

01:20:15.300 It's grace.

01:20:15.780 Yeah.

01:20:16.220 Yeah.

01:20:16.680 Yeah.

01:20:17.000 We used to have this guy in our town, this, uh, fellow he had, well, a lot of

01:20:20.700 Irish, they've always equated the Irish with like, I don't want to say like a step

01:20:25.940 up from having Down syndrome or whatever, but it's a popular, right?

01:20:29.040 Like we had a guy in our town, I've told this story before, but he had Down syndrome

01:20:32.340 and his mom didn't know it.

01:20:33.620 Right.

01:20:33.840 Never got the paperwork or the blood test or whatever.

01:20:36.740 And, um, so she just thought he was Irish, right?

01:20:40.160 She thought he's Irish and she's like buying him all this Boston.

01:20:42.900 Are you talking about Shane?

01:20:43.680 Huh?

01:20:44.080 No.

01:20:45.980 This wasn't, this wasn't Shane.

01:20:49.280 Shane probably knows the guy, but, uh, this was just a local DS guy, you know?

01:20:55.740 Oh, but his mom would get him all this Boston Celtic shit and Notre Dame shit.

01:20:59.020 It was like, you know, and our, the train that came in our town didn't even go to

01:21:02.300 Boston to it, probably never go to Boston.

01:21:03.800 Um, but that whenever he would misbehave or whatever, they would put him in this baby

01:21:08.200 crib, even when he was an adult and he had this thing where he just would not go out of

01:21:12.580 it.

01:21:12.740 He would stay in the crib like a playpen, not a crib, but like a baby's, uh, play little

01:21:18.580 area or whatever.

01:21:19.380 And he would stay in it even like, you know, 14, 15 years old.

01:21:23.600 Yeah.

01:21:23.860 Something like that.

01:21:25.220 Um, what else did I see recently?

01:21:28.880 Oh, there was the LSD Diplo.

01:21:31.520 Oh yeah.

01:21:32.120 Oh yeah.

01:21:32.440 Diplo trips on LSD.

01:21:33.540 What is the most, I'm so curious.

01:21:35.620 What's the most conventional place that you've done LSD?

01:21:40.300 Right now?

01:21:45.140 Right now?

01:21:45.860 Oh my God.

01:21:48.760 Please.

01:21:49.460 Oh my God.

01:21:50.420 Hold on.

01:21:51.420 Hold on.

01:21:52.460 Hold on.

01:21:54.260 Please tell me.

01:21:55.200 Look at Anderson.

01:21:56.120 He's probably getting sick from being, could be from gay for me.

01:22:00.340 Um, yeah, Diplo is definitely, every time I'm in Los Angeles, I see that guy.

01:22:07.260 That guy loves to party.

01:22:09.540 Yeah.

01:22:09.980 He loves to party.

01:22:10.780 That's so brave, dude, to go on live television on LSD.

01:22:15.100 Oh my God.

01:22:16.020 I'd, I'd kill myself.

01:22:17.460 I really would.

01:22:19.840 That's so scary.

01:22:21.460 I would smoke my own nuts, bro.

01:22:24.000 I could not even fucking do it.

01:22:26.280 I would take my penis off and just fucking hide it in somebody's face, dude.

01:22:30.340 I could not, I would freak the fuck out, dude.

01:22:33.520 He was playing it so cool, too.

01:22:35.100 So cool.

01:22:35.960 I would have, I would have been scratching my eyes out.

01:22:38.060 Like, yeah, I don't know.

01:22:39.260 I can't.

01:22:39.700 I did it one time.

01:22:40.960 You did?

01:22:41.340 Yeah.

01:22:41.860 You did LSD when you were on camera?

01:22:43.780 Yeah.

01:22:44.240 Uh, I wasn't on camera, no.

01:22:45.920 I just like, in general, did it one time.

01:22:47.480 I didn't like it.

01:22:47.780 Oh, only one time?

01:22:48.520 And where did you guys go?

01:22:49.820 Um, it was after a long day of partying and we, we ripped it at three in the morning.

01:22:54.140 So it was a really bad idea.

01:22:56.280 Yeah.

01:22:56.900 Really bad idea.

01:22:58.060 Oh yeah.

01:22:58.720 So I, I will be doing that anytime soon.

01:23:01.520 But, um, Molly's, Molly's a lot better.

01:23:03.620 She's a sweetheart.

01:23:04.520 Yeah.

01:23:04.700 I like her.

01:23:05.760 Oh yeah.

01:23:06.900 Molly's one.

01:23:07.480 The other one's shit.

01:23:08.300 Yeah.

01:23:08.400 I remember throwing a bunch of rocks at, uh, a bunch of grass or whatever.

01:23:13.100 We thought there was like these little people in it or whatever.

01:23:15.660 And we, we thought we kept hearing him yell every time we throw the rock in there.

01:23:19.220 It was just children.

01:23:20.220 Oh, half my buddy's, in the morning, half my buddy's drive-o was in that fucking, in

01:23:24.420 his yard, dude.

01:23:26.320 We were all sweating and our shoulders were hurting.

01:23:28.940 It was like the neighbors.

01:23:30.200 Yeah.

01:23:30.460 Just fucking just, they had like these, um, elephant ear things in the ditch.

01:23:34.340 And we thought that like, we kept throwing these rocks.

01:23:36.580 I was like, listen, you can hear these people scream when you throw it in there.

01:23:39.780 Get fucking devious on that.

01:23:41.340 So we fucking, that's not, you are not a one love hippie on LSD.

01:23:45.180 No, we threw a fucking eighth of a dump truck of, uh, driveway gravel into that ditch.

01:23:51.360 Started eating it and shit.

01:23:53.600 I'm trying to think of some famous LSD trips.

01:23:56.980 I mean, I had some good ones.

01:23:58.460 I had one where I like, well, it wasn't LSD.

01:24:01.120 I took mushrooms to a party.

01:24:03.200 And a lot of people had never taken them and I gave them all to them.

01:24:06.080 And I was like, let's play, I can go see.

01:24:07.140 And I just counted.

01:24:08.280 And they all went and hid.

01:24:09.300 And then they fucking, I never looked.

01:24:11.980 And they were all alone with their thoughts.

01:24:13.840 I never looked for any of them.

01:24:15.400 Wait, that's classic.

01:24:16.920 I'm still never.

01:24:17.980 You are devious.

01:24:19.120 I've still never looked for them.

01:24:20.240 Yeah, fuck them, dude.

01:24:21.380 If they can't handle that fucking mountain lion bitch and get out of the fucking.

01:24:25.020 If they can't handle their own goddamn dogs, then they can get the fuck out of my face.

01:24:29.700 And get out of the forest, big dog, huh?

01:24:32.480 If you don't want to link up and get out the food chain, bitch.

01:24:35.500 You feel me?

01:24:36.360 That's how you, like, tear your friends.

01:24:40.380 Like, who can handle it?

01:24:42.220 Who can handle being alone?

01:24:44.040 Who can do their drugs?

01:24:45.120 Oh, dude, my favorite thing ever.

01:24:46.700 I used to be with my buddy Jeffrey and Scotty and Nate.

01:24:50.400 We'd all be outside smoking dope or whatever.

01:24:53.820 Smoking flour, weed, or whatever.

01:24:56.620 And I'd come back in a few minutes early.

01:24:58.740 And Jeff's dad would be always sitting in the house just reading the newspaper or whatever.

01:25:01.940 And I'd come and I'd be like, Mr. Mike, they, they're like, what's going on?

01:25:06.560 I'd be like, just, Jeff was being kind of, I don't know, like he just, he kept taking his shirt off or whatever.

01:25:14.860 And Mr. Mike had issues with, like, gay stuff, right?

01:25:17.440 Gay, yeah, I saw that coming.

01:25:18.920 So the second I was like, he had his shirt off or whatever, he'd be like, you could fucking, you could feel his fucking teeth just climbing over his tongue through the newspaper, right?

01:25:31.220 He'd be like, and so I would just plant that seed, dude.

01:25:37.360 And I would just go.

01:25:38.580 And they would come in, they'd be stoned out of their brain.

01:25:42.860 They'd come in the house.

01:25:44.780 And he'd be like, Jeffrey!

01:25:46.400 And he'd fucking have them come in there.

01:25:48.260 And he'd be like, just roast them for being homosexuals.

01:25:51.700 What are you doing out there with your fucking shirt off?

01:25:54.940 And Jeff's stoned out of his face, has no idea what's going on.

01:25:57.780 And he'd say in the house behind him, like, yeah.

01:25:59.620 Why are you being such a gay homo?

01:26:04.180 Oh, it was a good time.

01:26:05.080 I mean, it was just, it was, it was.

01:26:06.200 So you like throwing your boys under the bus.

01:26:07.260 I like fucking being the bus driver.

01:26:09.680 And all the seats are under the bus.

01:26:12.200 Nice.

01:26:12.920 That's what I like.

01:26:13.620 And it's short, too.

01:26:16.840 Yeah, I just like that.

01:26:18.240 I like it.

01:26:18.720 I like just creating something, right?

01:26:20.960 Like, let's see what happens here if we set this thing up this way.

01:26:23.800 Let's cause some chaos.

01:26:26.460 There was that one famous story.

01:26:28.060 Who's the famous, there was two members of, I think, Fleetwood Mac that took LSD.

01:26:36.160 Oh, wow.

01:26:36.760 Oh, there it is.

01:26:37.720 The night that Fleetwood Mac lost Peter Green and Danny Kerwin to LSD.

01:26:41.800 Yeah, what was this about?

01:26:42.540 Oh, they died?

01:26:43.420 It's all amid a manic psychedelic party in a commune-like mansion.

01:26:48.280 Green, I think it's Peter Green is the guy's name, was drawn down into the basement and arrived

01:26:53.240 out of the other side in tears.

01:26:54.980 In the band's eyes, he was distraught, despite Green claiming to have had an extraordinary

01:26:59.480 experience and stating that he played the best guitar of his life down there.

01:27:02.980 Another member of the band present that day was Danny Kerwin.

01:27:08.120 Fate also besieged him that night.

01:27:09.760 Peter Green and Danny Kerwin both went together to that house in Munich.

01:27:13.080 Okay, that's where they were.

01:27:14.000 After a show, their one-time manager, Clifford Davis, recalls, both of them took acid, as

01:27:19.200 I understand, both of them as of that day became seriously mentally ill.

01:27:23.580 It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anything other than taking drugs as

01:27:27.480 of that day.

01:27:28.660 Of fear, the rest of the band felt an intense sense of dread in that place and managed to

01:27:32.140 scurry away with the two heavily intoxicated members.

01:27:34.460 While Green would recover and enjoy a creative life away from the spotlight, despite persistent

01:27:39.520 problems, things fared differently for Kerwin.

01:27:42.760 Danny had been a nervous and sensitive lad from the start.

01:27:45.920 He was never really suited to the rigors of the business, Mick Fleetwood once opined.

01:27:52.100 Touring is hard and the routine wears us all down.

01:27:55.300 One night, while backstage's regression came to the fore, Danny was being odd about tuning

01:27:59.440 his guitar.

01:28:00.140 Mick Fleetwood remembers.

01:28:01.000 He got up suddenly and bashed his head into the wall, splattering blood everywhere.

01:28:04.460 I've never seen him do anything violent, and all the years I'd known him, the rest of

01:28:08.220 us were paralyzed in complete shock.

01:28:10.240 Damn.

01:28:11.500 He was wonderful, but he couldn't handle the life, eventually ending up homeless on the

01:28:15.400 streets of London.

01:28:16.360 Wow.

01:28:17.240 Damn.

01:28:18.520 Sounds like a Tuesday.

01:28:19.780 Yeah.

01:28:20.620 That's what happens, dude.

01:28:23.420 That's my biggest fear.

01:28:25.060 Is it really of something bad?

01:28:25.660 Getting schizophrenic.

01:28:26.740 Really?

01:28:27.100 Yeah.

01:28:28.020 It, like, freaks me out.

01:28:29.400 It doesn't even run in the family, but that sounds scary.

01:28:33.180 Wouldn't want that.

01:28:34.320 Yeah, I think taking a hit of acid or something, and next thing you know, you're just, you

01:28:37.900 don't, you know, you don't know what you're doing.

01:28:40.400 Yeah.

01:28:41.940 Actually, it might run in the family.

01:28:43.060 I got a cousin like that.

01:28:44.060 You do?

01:28:44.580 Yeah.

01:28:45.600 It's tough.

01:28:46.500 And it's a man or woman?

01:28:48.140 Both.

01:28:49.180 Hmm.

01:28:50.180 Mm-hmm.

01:28:51.040 God, yeah.

01:28:51.900 Yeah.

01:28:52.540 That's a thing, dude.

01:28:53.460 I would just, I don't know if I could be a man and a woman.

01:28:55.620 Do you think you could handle it?

01:28:57.540 I think I do a good job already.

01:28:59.840 I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them.

01:29:04.380 Huh?

01:29:04.820 Like, yeah, fucking get some tail tonight, brother.

01:29:06.820 Like, what?

01:29:08.540 Yeah.

01:29:09.560 Euclid's up.

01:29:11.900 Pedroia.

01:29:12.440 Let's go Brady.

01:29:13.420 Come on now.

01:29:14.880 Deflate these balls.

01:29:18.880 God.

01:29:19.440 Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.

01:29:21.900 Who's on my Mount Rushmore, I wonder?

01:29:23.860 Yeah.

01:29:25.220 From where you're from.

01:29:27.240 Oh, from where I'm from?

01:29:28.960 I'm trying to think of my Boston one.

01:29:31.280 Oh, my Boston one would be, is it okay if I do a Boston one?

01:29:34.520 Oh, please, please.

01:29:35.260 Be my guest.

01:29:37.580 Oh, Will Hunting.

01:29:40.540 So you got him.

01:29:41.740 You got Tom Brady.

01:29:42.780 You got, oh, Dutch Smith from, bring up Dutch Smith.

01:29:49.560 Yeah, this is him.

01:29:50.640 Following an arson over the weekend, police say a teenager is responsible for all that

01:29:54.880 damage.

01:29:55.600 He's watched 16th Nikki Crys.

01:29:57.060 Joins us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki.

01:30:01.380 Julie, a lot of people in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed because they

01:30:05.980 didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts.

01:30:08.440 Today, we also learn new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting

01:30:13.380 the place on fire.

01:30:14.460 Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin' Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shemokin.

01:30:20.480 The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage.

01:30:26.200 There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it.

01:30:28.740 No doubt about it.

01:30:29.700 A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday.

01:30:33.860 Go further down.

01:30:34.440 They start interviewing people.

01:30:35.760 Oh, back up.

01:30:36.740 Back.

01:30:36.860 Many people who live in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed.

01:30:41.660 Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something where I don't like

01:30:46.200 their donuts.

01:30:46.760 I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts.

01:30:49.320 And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin' Donuts.

01:30:53.800 I go there every day.

01:30:54.860 I get a chicken baker croissant or I get some coffee, Powerade if I'm dehydrated.

01:30:59.140 I sit there all the time.

01:31:00.560 If I have any legal work that I need to do, I go there.

01:31:03.600 I meet with my attorneys there.

01:31:05.080 I'm going to miss that place if it don't open up.

01:31:08.660 That's classic.

01:31:09.580 A lot of my friends go in there, get the cold coffee.

01:31:13.640 What, iced coffee I guess it's called?

01:31:15.640 Jesus.

01:31:16.380 What a fucking Motley Crue that is.

01:31:19.200 So the guy in the middle was like, yeah, I get stayed dehydrated, meet my attorney up

01:31:24.000 there, my boy Dutch Smith.

01:31:25.780 He's on my...

01:31:26.120 He's on your motorway?

01:31:27.100 He's on my motorway.

01:31:27.940 Is he also on your team?

01:31:29.680 I feel like you know him.

01:31:31.020 The Dunkin' Donuts over there.

01:31:32.840 I got to talk to my lawyers.

01:31:35.080 He's like, I got to do some legal work.

01:31:37.540 When you got to do legal work, you got to go to Dunk's.

01:31:40.280 Yeah, he's like...

01:31:40.900 That's classic.

01:31:41.480 Oh, yeah.

01:31:42.240 What do they call up there?

01:31:43.560 Ice cold coffee?

01:31:45.540 Ice coffee?

01:31:46.940 That lady like...

01:31:47.880 That is good.

01:31:48.800 What do they call it?

01:31:49.400 Cold coffee?

01:31:51.240 He's a freaking crazy person.

01:31:53.040 I'm like, oh, yeah.

01:31:53.700 Meet me at the Dunk's on 15th and 2nd.

01:31:56.460 We'll get to the legal work.

01:31:58.180 We got some legal work.

01:31:59.640 That is so good.

01:32:00.340 And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.

01:32:03.680 Nah.

01:32:05.140 Yeah.

01:32:06.820 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:07.400 You know...

01:32:08.060 Yeah.

01:32:08.700 You know he's not studying to be a lawyer.

01:32:11.800 Can you do accents?

01:32:13.540 Do I do them?

01:32:14.180 Can you do accents?

01:32:14.980 Yeah.

01:32:15.220 No, I can't really do them that much, I don't think.

01:32:17.200 Sometimes I wish I spent more time focusing on stuff like that.

01:32:20.480 Yeah.

01:32:20.900 What about you?

01:32:21.780 I can just do Irish.

01:32:23.100 Yeah?

01:32:23.480 Yeah.

01:32:23.660 But under pressure it's pretty hard, but you just really have to emphasize ours, really.

01:32:29.560 Are you really?

01:32:29.960 Truly and honestly, yeah.

01:32:31.340 Truly and honestly, yeah.

01:32:35.080 How are you going?

01:32:36.520 I do it a wee little bit, but here and there is a good party trick if you do it.

01:32:41.020 Oh, yeah.

01:32:41.680 But it's not really going to take me far in life, is it?

01:32:43.560 Hey, take it back, darling.

01:32:46.440 That's fine.

01:32:47.080 Yeah, I'm bad.

01:32:48.200 But I think maybe if I...

01:32:49.380 It'd be fun to work on, I guess.

01:32:50.660 I don't know.

01:32:51.120 Yeah, I think I like it.

01:32:54.160 You did a good job.

01:32:54.900 No, thanks.

01:32:55.700 Have you toured in Ireland yet?

01:32:57.340 No.

01:32:57.620 You gotta wait.

01:32:58.140 No.

01:32:58.440 You gotta wait, huh?

01:32:59.040 I'm new-ski.

01:32:59.880 Yeah, sorry.

01:33:00.560 What are we talking about?

01:33:01.440 I'm brand new.

01:33:02.140 Yeah, I shouldn't have said that.

01:33:02.820 Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.

01:33:05.460 That's okay.

01:33:07.060 No, you're great to talk to, Grace O'Malley.

01:33:10.000 I love...

01:33:10.500 I'm glad I've gotten to sit and chat with you.

01:33:12.600 If you guys don't know Grace, now you probably do.

01:33:15.340 I think you have a good...

01:33:17.820 I think...

01:33:18.260 Did we talk about your life enough, do you think?

01:33:19.820 Yeah, sure.

01:33:20.520 Okay.

01:33:20.740 Yeah.

01:33:22.160 Oh, did you finish college or not?

01:33:24.020 No, I dropped out.

01:33:25.040 You did?

01:33:25.420 Yeah.

01:33:26.220 But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0.

01:33:29.120 You did?

01:33:29.600 Yeah, I found out what Adderall was.

01:33:31.620 Oh, so you were using it.

01:33:32.580 So I needed it.

01:33:33.720 Yeah.

01:33:34.160 As it turned out.

01:33:35.500 The Irish need it.

01:33:36.260 What are the Irish missing?

01:33:37.220 There's always that thing, you know?

01:33:39.140 They're missing out on...

01:33:41.820 Well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children.

01:33:44.180 Yeah.

01:33:44.820 They don't know how to express it.

01:33:46.320 Oh, yeah.

01:33:47.320 They can't, huh?

01:33:48.060 Yeah, they can't.

01:33:49.300 Yeah.

01:33:49.900 They just get you a fucking Edelman jersey?

01:33:51.860 Yeah.

01:33:53.060 They just hope that'll equate to love.

01:33:56.260 It's good.

01:33:56.760 Yeah.

01:33:56.960 Why can't they do it?

01:33:58.140 Well, sharing a beer in silence.

01:34:00.260 Oh, yeah.

01:34:00.600 That's also supposed to be love in their eyes.

01:34:02.960 Really?

01:34:03.400 Yeah.

01:34:04.420 Yeah.

01:34:04.800 Why do the Irish have that trouble sharing love?

01:34:07.900 Maybe...

01:34:08.380 And if people listen, they can hit the hotline, too, with that.

01:34:11.300 985-664-9503.

01:34:13.540 And that would be great to just...

01:34:15.300 I want to examine that next time we have a solo episode, is why the Irish have that trouble

01:34:19.240 expressing their love.

01:34:21.620 Do you think that they have it more than other cultures?

01:34:26.280 Let's think just to compare.

01:34:28.820 The Koreans can't do it.

01:34:30.100 They can't?

01:34:30.880 No, they can't.

01:34:31.260 No?

01:34:32.400 Tough?

01:34:32.820 Is it tough love?

01:34:33.740 Or is it just no love?

01:34:34.940 Well, there's a video.

01:34:35.600 You see that...

01:34:36.100 I think Steve...

01:34:38.100 Look up Stevie Weeby.

01:34:40.880 He just put that video up of him, Bobby, and their mother trying to do Christmas together

01:34:44.040 or something.

01:34:45.480 Can you see that if you put it on his Instagram?

01:34:48.480 The Koreans, I don't think they can do it.

01:34:50.300 Bobby's the Asian representative.

01:34:52.100 Bobby is...

01:34:53.840 I want to say he may be...

01:34:55.920 You like it?

01:34:56.440 I know.

01:34:57.040 You like it?

01:34:57.960 Yeah.

01:34:58.920 Yeah.

01:34:59.280 Late at night, and I leave Duke here by himself.

01:35:02.820 He loses his mind, huh?

01:35:04.660 Bobby?

01:35:05.420 No, Duke.

01:35:07.000 Oh, I...

01:35:08.000 Because you have no snacks here.

01:35:13.780 I got hungry.

01:35:14.940 So there she's been drinking.

01:35:15.940 No, it was 6 in the morning.

01:35:24.100 So what happened last night was...

01:35:27.240 Bobby.

01:35:27.660 He's guessing.

01:35:28.660 I wanted some snacks, so I went to 7-Eleven.

01:35:31.160 I got a slurpee.

01:35:33.100 I got...

01:35:33.460 That's good.

01:35:34.080 This is like that game show, like that telephone game or whatever.

01:35:36.720 Yeah.

01:35:36.880 Can you see where Bobby comes in later or not?

01:35:39.060 Is there any...

01:35:39.600 Can you help me out?

01:35:40.240 Get further down.

01:35:41.040 Further, further.

01:35:42.660 Is there any part where Bobby comes in or not?

01:35:43.600 Trivial closed captions.

01:35:44.940 No, maybe not.

01:35:47.260 The mother is very endearing.

01:35:48.720 I would love to meet her.

01:35:50.800 She's probably a star that I would like to meet.

01:35:52.700 Yeah.

01:35:53.500 Who's up there for you?

01:35:54.920 Who haven't you met?

01:35:55.600 And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?

01:35:58.620 Oh, I don't know.

01:35:59.380 I got to meet Mel Gibson one time, and he was very captivating.

01:36:02.140 Yeah, that's wild.

01:36:03.380 It's very, like, you get drawn into him, you know?

01:36:06.180 You sit down and, like, shoot the shit with him?

01:36:08.800 Yep.

01:36:09.360 Yeah?

01:36:10.040 Yeah, I did get to one time, which is crazy, because Patriot's my favorite movie, probably.

01:36:15.080 Was there anything else that we wanted to talk about?

01:36:18.280 You have any of our topics, anything you want to look at really quick?

01:36:20.440 I'm just trying to think, Grace, before I let you go.

01:36:22.280 Yeah.

01:36:22.480 Oh, wait.

01:36:22.800 So your new podcast.

01:36:24.120 Yes.

01:36:24.260 Tell me about it.

01:36:25.040 Okay, so it is going to be coming out in February.

01:36:29.120 That's great.

01:36:29.800 Everything is completely up in the air right now, trying to figure out what the hell it's

01:36:32.980 going to be.

01:36:33.480 But for the most part, the idea for it is the name's going to be Disgraceful, and I'm going

01:36:38.400 to have, like, guests on every week, and for the first 15 to 20 minutes, they're auditioning

01:36:44.660 to be my new co-host, because I need a new co-host.

01:36:47.920 So that's, like, the niche there.

01:36:49.640 And then after that, hopefully, we'll shoot the shit.

01:36:52.220 But I'll get to practicing a little more and be a little better for that.

01:36:56.540 So what are you looking for in your co-host?

01:36:58.140 Do you already have parameters?

01:37:00.040 That's the thing.

01:37:00.700 It's all just a gimmick.

01:37:03.060 I'm never probably going to have a host.

01:37:05.780 Oh, you're not.

01:37:06.460 We'll see how it goes.

01:37:07.780 But there is possibility, though.

01:37:09.060 Possibility.

01:37:09.940 Like, Alex suggested...

01:37:12.420 Alex Cooper.

01:37:13.020 Alex Cooper suggested that...

01:37:15.080 From Call Her Daddy.

01:37:16.120 Yeah.

01:37:16.280 So I had pitched her my idea for this podcast, and she was like, yeah, that's awesome, but

01:37:20.520 what if you did a podcast with, like, Blake Griffin?

01:37:22.300 I'm like, what?

01:37:23.540 So that's the idea that she has for it.

01:37:25.920 So we're going to figure out something somewhere in the middle.

01:37:29.760 Yeah.

01:37:30.080 Something like that.

01:37:30.640 Yeah.

01:37:31.060 That was just, like, a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call.

01:37:34.600 So we'll see how it goes.

01:37:36.520 Will she have a say in it?

01:37:37.640 Will you have a say in it?

01:37:38.540 Will it just be...

01:37:39.220 Is it up to you?

01:37:40.060 I get final say, yeah.

01:37:41.240 You do.

01:37:41.500 So I think I'm going to stick to my guns.

01:37:44.000 Yeah.

01:37:45.300 Yeah, I think just trust your instincts.

01:37:47.020 Yeah.

01:37:47.660 Whatever your instincts are, I love them.

01:37:50.000 Thanks.

01:37:50.660 Right back at you.

01:37:51.520 They're fun.

01:37:52.180 Your instincts are fun to ride along with.

01:37:54.440 The Down for Anything tour that's going on right now.

01:37:57.080 Yep.

01:37:57.600 And despite everything I've said on this podcast, it is a good show.

01:38:02.140 So come on up.

01:38:03.860 Oh, yeah.

01:38:04.240 I believe that it is.

01:38:05.220 I almost stayed...

01:38:06.220 I wanted to say that.

01:38:06.880 I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there.

01:38:09.520 A lot of girls.

01:38:10.240 Yeah.

01:38:10.400 It's like a slumber party.

01:38:13.280 And then I just...

01:38:14.460 My whole time, I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh.

01:38:17.500 Yeah.

01:38:17.860 Because they don't want to be there.

01:38:19.020 Oh, yeah.

01:38:19.780 So I really try my best to make them laugh the most.

01:38:23.200 You know what's so funny about comedy?

01:38:24.500 A lot of times you'd be on stage and it's all dates there.

01:38:27.040 Yeah.

01:38:27.160 And so you're like...

01:38:28.140 So not only are you like the kind of like...

01:38:30.340 If you're the lonely one, if you're the one that doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend,

01:38:33.740 then you're also provide...

01:38:35.120 You're the entertainment, right?

01:38:36.160 They're paying for sure.

01:38:37.680 But then they all have...

01:38:38.760 And then you're like, oh, it just builds up this...

01:38:40.940 Sometimes they can build up this weird fucking resentment.

01:38:43.520 Yeah, totally.

01:38:44.600 I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show.

01:38:47.160 So everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing.

01:38:49.380 I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself.

01:38:52.080 It's like a double whammy fuck you.

01:38:54.340 I was like, this is nice.

01:38:54.680 And what do you do then?

01:38:55.560 This is fun.

01:38:55.720 You throw a couple fingers in the hoo-ha.

01:38:58.780 What do you do at that point?

01:39:00.660 I just...

01:39:01.140 I started...

01:39:03.200 I just grabbed the bouncer.

01:39:05.280 I just fucked him on stage there.

01:39:07.700 Yeah.

01:39:09.520 No, I started...

01:39:10.720 I started shotgunning beers.

01:39:12.320 So I felt less lonely.

01:39:13.740 Yes, I swear to God.

01:39:15.920 There you are, Gracie.

01:39:18.920 Yeah.

01:39:19.240 We're going to fucking...

01:39:20.560 We're going to send some cacks your way this year, Gracie, baby.

01:39:24.640 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:25.640 We're going to send you a boatload of cacks.

01:39:27.820 Yeah.

01:39:28.500 Fuck this year, that's for sure.

01:39:32.740 Your dad might be in this, okay.

01:39:35.920 And why do they say cock up there in masks?

01:39:38.740 Cock.

01:39:39.660 Yeah.

01:39:39.920 Yeah.

01:39:40.500 It's just...

01:39:42.100 There's no way...

01:39:43.820 There's no...

01:39:44.780 It's not a way for a woman to talk.

01:39:47.080 Cork.

01:39:47.520 Yeah.

01:39:48.920 Yeah, dude.

01:39:49.460 I was going in...

01:39:50.080 I had a show right outside of...

01:39:52.160 Not Medford.

01:39:53.880 I don't know where it is.

01:39:54.660 Is that right outside of the city?

01:39:55.980 Medford, yeah.

01:39:56.760 Medford.

01:39:57.520 That's a town.

01:39:58.200 And I had a show right out there.

01:40:00.000 And some guy's walking up with his wife.

01:40:01.620 They're eating a piece of pizza.

01:40:02.600 And he's like, Doris, that's the guy.

01:40:04.520 We're going to give him your pizza.

01:40:06.020 Give him your pizza.

01:40:07.160 And Doris, they're both eating.

01:40:08.260 You can tell they just got a snack.

01:40:09.440 They're running over.

01:40:10.160 They're running a few minutes late.

01:40:11.440 I'm like, don't give me...

01:40:12.340 He's like, give me a fucking pizza, Doris.

01:40:14.520 You fucking bitch.

01:40:15.560 So now...

01:40:16.280 Yeah.

01:40:16.580 I love this guy.

01:40:18.940 Yeah, that's how he is.

01:40:19.880 I don't love you.

01:40:21.340 Yeah, yeah, fuck it.

01:40:22.080 I'm like, I want to see him, Doris.

01:40:24.020 So Doris gives me her pizza.

01:40:26.920 And then they go inside.

01:40:28.560 The guy's just eating.

01:40:29.560 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, Mackey?

01:40:31.200 Oh, my God.

01:40:32.720 I'm just like, what?

01:40:33.880 Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there.

01:40:35.940 They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys.

01:40:41.380 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:40:42.380 They gave them all about their boys.

01:40:43.220 They're kind of gay for it.

01:40:44.280 Oh, they're definitely...

01:40:45.580 Just to get a whiff of Pedroia's fucking catcher's mitt.

01:40:49.360 Yeah.

01:40:51.960 All right.

01:40:52.880 I think we've had enough.

01:40:53.920 I think we've...

01:40:54.500 I think we've had a good start to the year.

01:40:56.320 Any res...

01:40:56.740 Anything that you're trying to push on yourself this year?

01:40:59.380 I know maybe love is in the air.

01:41:01.140 That's always in the air.

01:41:02.600 Yeah.

01:41:03.020 Anything else you're kind of like...

01:41:04.220 Is there a real goal that you have or something this year?

01:41:06.740 I get porked at least once.

01:41:07.940 Okay.

01:41:08.220 And then we've got...

01:41:10.340 Getting slammed.

01:41:11.740 Now, we talking...

01:41:12.620 We're talking, I'll take it wherever I can get it.

01:41:15.080 Whoa.

01:41:15.940 Come on.

01:41:17.040 This is a Christian program.

01:41:18.620 Oh, is it now?

01:41:20.940 My apologies.

01:41:23.200 So, you're right at home.

01:41:24.380 Go ahead.

01:41:27.020 Yeah, no.

01:41:27.780 And then I'm trying to cut back on drinking.

01:41:29.820 I have a drinking problem.

01:41:30.800 You do?

01:41:31.080 I'm a functioning alcoholic.

01:41:32.460 Oh, yeah?

01:41:32.860 Yeah, big time.

01:41:33.800 So, I'm trying to kick back.

01:41:35.920 Okay.

01:41:36.120 I'm going to start with the dry January and see where that goes.

01:41:38.880 Oh, so you're tapping back in.

01:41:41.100 So, for the rest of January, you're off.

01:41:42.560 Oh, yeah.

01:41:43.080 I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?

01:41:45.460 That's still December in some places.

01:41:47.200 It doesn't...

01:41:47.460 Yeah, right?

01:41:48.080 In Holland, I think...

01:41:49.140 Yeah, they're behind...

01:41:49.800 Yeah, it's like...

01:41:50.380 I'm on Holland time.

01:41:51.140 Fuck it.

01:41:52.100 I'm on Holland time.

01:41:52.920 Okay.

01:41:53.560 What about you?

01:41:55.020 What about me?

01:41:55.940 No, I'm going to try to be sober all year, I think.

01:41:59.280 But any New Year's resolution?

01:42:01.260 Resolutions, yeah.

01:42:02.380 I'm going to try to be more pertinent with my time.

01:42:05.440 Mm.

01:42:06.540 Like, don't waste time in things that I know.

01:42:08.700 Like, I think with relationship stuff, don't waste, like, dating time and things that maybe

01:42:12.320 don't have a chance kind of thing.

01:42:14.720 That's fair.

01:42:15.400 I don't know.

01:42:17.020 So, stop dating girls with no personality?

01:42:21.580 Yeah, just...

01:42:22.160 If I know it's not really there, don't just kind of, you know, use the situation just because

01:42:25.800 maybe I'm lonesome or something.

01:42:27.420 Yeah.

01:42:27.740 You know?

01:42:28.080 Or, like, don't...

01:42:28.820 Or just because I don't have anybody to go do...

01:42:30.280 You know, just be like, well, just do shit by myself then sometimes.

01:42:32.700 Or just be by myself or whatever.

01:42:33.880 It's not all that bad.

01:42:34.740 Right.

01:42:35.140 It's not that bad.

01:42:36.000 Yeah.

01:42:36.440 Do it all the time.

01:42:37.680 And then...

01:42:38.580 And then...

01:42:42.080 Your nightmare is my everyday.

01:42:44.300 I don't know.

01:42:45.020 And then, I don't know.

01:42:48.280 Get out there and fucking do some sex, maybe.

01:42:52.140 I don't know.

01:42:52.640 Something else.

01:42:54.460 I don't know.

01:42:56.300 I'd like to read a little bit more maybe this year.

01:42:59.540 You read a lot last year?

01:43:01.500 Not as much as I'd have liked.

01:43:03.540 But just because I want to have that slow time because your thoughts are slowed down

01:43:06.840 and you're just kind of relaxing, you know?

01:43:08.200 Yeah.

01:43:08.540 I feel like my brain gets so sped up.

01:43:10.060 Yeah.

01:43:10.400 I can't...

01:43:10.700 I don't know how to slow it down.

01:43:11.560 Yeah, slow it down and maybe pray, pray, yeah, pray if I meet a wife or something.

01:43:16.100 2020 Y, that's where I'm at.

01:43:17.660 There you go.

01:43:18.200 2020 Y.

01:43:19.080 It could happen, dude.

01:43:19.880 That's good.

01:43:20.320 I like that.

01:43:20.860 Welcome to come, country, huh?

01:43:22.240 Yeah, there you go.

01:43:22.860 Then you can hang out with your other friends.

01:43:24.300 Yeah.

01:43:25.420 Yeah, huh?

01:43:26.300 We're coming over.

01:43:27.120 I got me a bride now.

01:43:28.820 Yeah.

01:43:29.100 Look at her.

01:43:30.260 Look at her.

01:43:31.620 She give me pizza.

01:43:34.200 Doris.

01:43:34.640 Grace O'Malley, thank you so much for coming.

01:43:37.800 Nora O'Malley, thank you for coming, too.

01:43:40.260 And cheers and blessings to you guys.

01:43:42.300 Happy New Year.

01:43:42.960 Happy New Year, man.

01:43:43.680 Thank you very much.

01:43:44.420 It was an honor, truly and honestly.

01:43:47.080 And same for me.

01:43:47.900 And best of luck with Disgraceful.

01:43:49.260 It comes out in February?

01:43:50.340 Yes.

01:43:50.880 Okay.

01:43:51.240 On the Unwell Network.

01:43:52.420 Hell yeah.

01:43:53.040 Amen.

01:43:53.620 Hell yeah.

01:43:54.000 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:43:57.620 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:44:00.560 I must be cornerstone

01:44:03.880 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:44:08.440 I'll share this peace of mind I found

01:44:11.260 I can feel it in my bones

01:44:14.760 But it's gonna take

01:44:17.320 Thank you very much for coming.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 07, 2025

E553 Grace O'Malley

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