This Past Weekend with Theo Von

00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:00:02.300 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:00:05.060 Whoa, is this economy?

00:00:07.180 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:00:09.620 Sweet!

00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:00:17.800 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.

00:00:20.980 Nice!

00:00:22.160 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.

00:00:25.260 Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.

00:00:27.320 Sponsored by Bell. Conditions apply.

00:00:28.580 See AirCanada.com.

00:00:30.000 I have some tour dates to tell you about.

00:00:32.240 I'll be in East Lansing.

00:00:34.300 I'll be in Victoria in the Canada.

00:00:36.400 I'll be in College Station, Texas.

00:00:38.780 Belton, Texas.

00:00:40.740 Oxford, Mississippi.

00:00:44.220 Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

00:00:45.920 Nashville, Tennessee, baby.

00:00:48.480 And Winnipeg in the Canada.

00:00:49.920 And Calgary in the Canada.

00:00:51.540 All those tickets are at Theovan.com slash T-O-U-R.

00:00:56.120 This is still the Return of the Rat Tour.

00:00:58.180 I promise we'll end it one of these days when we've gone all the places that we can go.

00:01:05.180 I'm very grateful that you guys continue to support us.

00:01:08.560 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

00:01:11.840 He's a podcaster.

00:01:14.740 He's been an integral part of comedy for a long time.

00:01:19.180 Bridges a lot of years and connections between other comics.

00:01:24.500 He's certainly a type of glue in the humor world.

00:01:30.340 His latest special, America's Sweetheart, is now on Netflix.

00:01:34.040 You know his podcast, You Be Trippin'.

00:01:36.840 And he's currently on the Farewell Tour going now through the rest of the year.

00:01:41.100 I'm always excited to spend time with him and catch up.

00:01:43.780 Today's guest is Mr. Ari Shafir.

00:01:47.060 Too much burrito.

00:02:02.400 Did you?

00:02:03.380 Ugh.

00:02:03.960 I fucking have American serving sizes.

00:02:06.560 And they hit you with chips and salsa first.

00:02:08.900 You fill up on those.

00:02:09.600 Yeah, some serving sizes are alarming.

00:02:15.920 I can't tell if I'm, you know, there's an amount of serving size that you want to get, right?

00:02:20.760 There's, but then some places that give too much, you're like, oh, that's, this is awesome of them.

00:02:26.280 But then you start having it and you're like, oh, this is.

00:02:27.820 I'm going to keep eating it.

00:02:28.720 I'm a dog.

00:02:29.380 And it's not good sometimes.

00:02:30.640 They're just overloading you with badness.

00:02:32.160 Yeah, shitty fries.

00:02:32.940 We're like, there's no seasoning of this.

00:02:33.940 And then I ate them all.

00:02:35.200 I should have just been like, no, I have fry money.

00:02:38.080 I could go get more fries.

00:02:39.200 Yeah, get some better fries.

00:02:40.060 I'm like, they're right here, right now.

00:02:41.200 I'm going to eat them.

00:02:42.540 Yeah, I want like two bites too many.

00:02:44.120 It would be perfect.

00:02:45.900 Okay.

00:02:46.400 I'm done with like one or two extra bites and then that's it.

00:02:49.900 Buddy, that Trump interview was so fucking good.

00:02:53.800 I've never seen anybody do it like that where it's like, I mean, this is the way I'm reading it.

00:02:57.460 Like, I'm Theo.

00:02:58.660 I'm like, you're here for me, not the other way around.

00:03:01.500 Really?

00:03:01.820 And you're going to facilitate me being Theo.

00:03:04.160 Oh, wow.

00:03:05.140 Yeah.

00:03:05.880 Yeah, I don't know.

00:03:06.560 I just felt, I'd had an exhausted week that week.

00:03:09.400 We'd had like a couple of interviews.

00:03:11.320 I think it was in New York and in Nashville.

00:03:15.000 And so it was just like a lot of traveling.

00:03:16.420 I was like, I do not want to do this today.

00:03:18.740 You really had to prep for it.

00:03:20.180 But it was just like burnt out, you know?

00:03:21.900 Yeah.

00:03:22.200 But yeah, I think people, some people have said that they think it had an effect on the

00:03:26.280 election and stuff.

00:03:26.900 I don't really think that.

00:03:28.000 I think it was like a neither here nor there.

00:03:30.000 He was just sitting there like this for you.

00:03:32.040 It's like when I go into a bonfire with Jay and Dan.

00:03:34.000 Yeah.

00:03:34.380 I would just like, oh, you guys have a routine here.

00:03:36.400 I'll just sit back and maybe get one tagline in, you know?

00:03:39.900 Yeah.

00:03:40.160 I wish we'd have gotten more time to get to, I wish I'd have gotten more time to talk to

00:03:42.940 Donald Trump because I thought it would have been just, I knew we only had about like

00:03:46.220 55 minutes.

00:03:47.860 So that's, that's a, you know, unique amount of time.

00:03:50.580 I hate when those big guys were like, we have this much time.

00:03:52.520 You're like, all right, I'll do that.

00:03:53.760 Everybody else is like, let's just go until we're kind of done.

00:03:56.180 Yeah.

00:03:57.640 But it was interesting.

00:03:58.740 Like, we're going to need to wrap up in the, oh yeah, fine.

00:04:01.040 But like, I'm not finished yet.

00:04:02.080 Or some guy in the back, some lady.

00:04:03.500 Like, I should have just been like, wave it off.

00:04:05.620 But I didn't.

00:04:06.740 Should have been like, I don't work for, you don't work for me.

00:04:08.800 I don't work for you.

00:04:10.000 I'm going to keep him here.

00:04:11.800 Yeah.

00:04:12.080 I wish he'd have got, dude, I had a dream last night actually that I interviewed Tim

00:04:15.560 Walls actually.

00:04:17.140 He's the loser guy.

00:04:18.220 He was the guy that said, yeah, he was on the losing team and he was, um.

00:04:22.240 What'd you interview him about it?

00:04:23.600 What'd you talk to him in your dream?

00:04:25.060 I can't remember, but he was so cool in the interview and I was like, dude, no, people

00:04:28.820 don't know if you're so cool or not.

00:04:30.160 We got to, we have to come, let's talk people, you know, but I think, uh.

00:04:35.160 I bet they're all kind of cool.

00:04:36.480 I bet they're like, hey, you know what I want to do?

00:04:37.860 I want to take power.

00:04:38.720 I'm like, ooh, I like that.

00:04:40.360 And then when they do it, I was like, fuck you.

00:04:42.740 Yeah.

00:04:43.080 I think a lot of them just probably either want, or they want.

00:04:46.220 That's the thing.

00:04:46.820 It's so hard to know what they're really like as opposed to what you see.

00:04:50.360 Yeah.

00:04:50.620 Until I think you get some sort of like a vert, like something of them that seems like somewhat

00:04:56.900 relatable to you.

00:04:58.200 Yeah.

00:04:58.560 And then they're all a product too.

00:04:59.700 I saw somebody talking about George Bush Jr.

00:05:02.000 How do you say nuclear?

00:05:03.640 You know, do I say nuclear?

00:05:04.760 And somebody's like, how do you wait?

00:05:05.860 How would he say it?

00:05:06.820 Nuclear.

00:05:07.580 Nuclear.

00:05:08.520 That's how he would say it?

00:05:09.600 No, he said nuclear.

00:05:10.760 Nuclear.

00:05:11.140 Oh, nuclear's wrong.

00:05:12.020 Sorry, buddy.

00:05:12.680 Which one's wrong?

00:05:13.600 Nuclear.

00:05:14.040 Nuclear's wrong.

00:05:14.760 Yeah.

00:05:15.300 Nuclear.

00:05:16.000 But they were like, you don't think he knew?

00:05:18.160 No, it's nuclear power.

00:05:19.520 Nuclear power.

00:05:20.240 No matter what you put on it, it's always going to be nuclear.

00:05:22.300 Okay.

00:05:22.860 Yeah, I've heard it both ways.

00:05:24.240 I think I'm not, I didn't really know which one was correct, but yeah, nuclear.

00:05:28.480 But they were like, you don't think he knew how to pronounce that?

00:05:30.600 His father was the president.

00:05:32.020 You don't think he knew and he heard nuclear around the house?

00:05:34.960 They told him to mispronounce that so he could be relatable.

00:05:37.560 Wow.

00:05:37.900 You think?

00:05:38.420 Yeah.

00:05:39.660 Damn.

00:05:40.320 He went to like an Ivy League school.

00:05:42.480 That's true, huh?

00:05:43.160 He would have been shaken to that.

00:05:44.740 Yeah.

00:05:45.220 I think people are starting to get hip to like how much of it is.

00:05:50.120 Game of Thrones, like image shit.

00:05:54.080 Yeah.

00:05:54.420 Yeah.

00:05:54.820 How much of it is like this person is doing this or they're being told this or this is

00:05:59.240 the plan.

00:06:00.060 Yeah.

00:06:00.540 Kamala did not have a good strategist.

00:06:02.400 Whoever her business, their planner was or whatever.

00:06:04.820 Yeah.

00:06:05.120 Who was that?

00:06:05.960 Who was their, that's one thing I've never read.

00:06:08.520 It wasn't the swam.

00:06:09.040 Their campaign advisor.

00:06:10.060 Yeah.

00:06:10.240 I bet it wasn't that bald guy.

00:06:11.720 What's his name?

00:06:13.280 He's like the main one, Carville, James Carville.

00:06:15.940 Oh, yeah.

00:06:16.420 He was cool.

00:06:17.060 Not him.

00:06:17.740 He would have done something better.

00:06:19.820 He would have done something cool.

00:06:20.660 He's out of Louisiana.

00:06:21.740 Yeah.

00:06:22.080 That's right.

00:06:22.600 Yeah.

00:06:22.820 I went up to him once.

00:06:23.640 I was like, how do you talk to a celebrity?

00:06:25.420 There's no, there's no way.

00:06:26.520 I don't know how to do it.

00:06:27.360 They know I'm talking to them because they're them.

00:06:29.220 Not just like, oh, hey, cool shirt.

00:06:30.680 And didn't know who it was, you know?

00:06:32.140 Yeah.

00:06:32.380 So I saw him on a commercial shoot once.

00:06:33.560 I was like, what do I say?

00:06:34.460 I'm like, I know.

00:06:35.120 He used to call into sports radio in DC and he had a great thing.

00:06:38.500 Like always been on the home underdog if there were more than seven points.

00:06:42.320 And I was like, that's what I'll say.

00:06:43.620 I was like, hey, I used to listen to you on WTEM with Kornheiser way back.

00:06:47.300 And he goes, oh, cool.

00:06:49.420 Fuck.

00:06:50.220 Fuck.

00:06:50.980 Even that.

00:06:52.840 Yeah.

00:06:53.000 There's nothing worse than when, because if your planned line doesn't go good for a

00:06:56.440 celebrity, you have nothing.

00:06:57.400 That's it.

00:06:57.840 Yes.

00:06:58.220 You stand there like an asshole.

00:06:59.020 Like, oh, I've done that.

00:07:01.900 It feels so shitty.

00:07:03.220 And then it's so obvious what you were trying to do.

00:07:04.980 I know.

00:07:05.500 Oh, dude.

00:07:06.980 That's like a Johnny.

00:07:08.320 There was a night where Johnny Depp was at the comedy store.

00:07:10.780 Oh, yeah.

00:07:11.160 I heard about that.

00:07:12.120 And everybody, like you got.

00:07:14.100 He's the star.

00:07:14.780 Oh, he was.

00:07:15.560 There was nobody like him.

00:07:16.600 You know, he was.

00:07:18.200 He was everybody, dude.

00:07:19.560 He was in that movie, Peter Pan.

00:07:21.240 He was in that Peter Pan movie.

00:07:23.420 Was he?

00:07:24.160 Yeah.

00:07:24.440 What was it called?

00:07:27.320 Finding Neverland.

00:07:28.420 Finding Neverland.

00:07:29.220 Oh, God.

00:07:29.920 That's a good movie.

00:07:30.900 But anyway, every.

00:07:31.820 So then like suddenly I'd never even really been backstage at the main room.

00:07:35.660 In the main room, I wasn't getting on stage there much of the time.

00:07:38.740 And I'm like, oh, I got to go back.

00:07:40.520 Got to go back.

00:07:41.440 Johnny.

00:07:41.720 So you walk in.

00:07:42.880 The back room back there was packed.

00:07:45.400 Like you could barely even move.

00:07:47.800 Everybody's having like these fake conversations and kind of has their body lightly turned towards Johnny Depp.

00:07:53.240 They all try to laugh louder.

00:07:54.620 So like maybe he'll join in with our joviality.

00:07:58.320 I see it with Rogan sometimes.

00:07:59.600 I bet you get it too.

00:08:00.440 You sit and I'm like, oh, cool.

00:08:01.360 Nobody's in this bar.

00:08:02.320 I was like, I don't know.

00:08:03.120 Just fill up.

00:08:04.100 Yeah.

00:08:04.320 It's like word got out.

00:08:05.100 Theo Vaughn's there.

00:08:06.120 Oh, Rogan.

00:08:06.780 I could imagine, dude.

00:08:07.900 I feel like you never see.

00:08:09.240 I feel like a lot of people, you never see him.

00:08:10.940 He doesn't do a lot of.

00:08:12.300 We get like 20 minutes normal and then it's over.

00:08:15.880 Yeah.

00:08:16.540 And I'm like, I was sitting there.

00:08:17.980 All right.

00:08:18.520 Fucking take it.

00:08:19.400 Yeah.

00:08:19.740 Like, let me tell you about science.

00:08:22.420 You know, I'll tell you where the AIDS is.

00:08:25.420 You know, you're like, what's this guy?

00:08:26.840 And it's just a gay guy that's flirting or whatever.

00:08:29.560 But, um, dude, it was like that at the, uh, that was it.

00:08:33.900 And he was in the back.

00:08:35.760 And then I think I can't.

00:08:37.760 That's Edgar.

00:08:38.740 That's right.

00:08:38.980 Yeah.

00:08:39.140 He was with Edgar.

00:08:39.720 And who brought him?

00:08:40.980 The guy, um, Doug Stanhope from Arizona and everybody was just like trying to be in his

00:08:47.900 presence or you could soak it in.

00:08:50.200 You could just see him.

00:08:51.220 And I can't, I can't even remember if I got to meet him or not.

00:08:54.240 But if I did, I think it was one of those things like, oh, see things are going good

00:08:57.860 or something like that.

00:08:58.500 Just like, like we were from high school together.

00:09:01.000 Yeah.

00:09:01.160 Yeah.

00:09:01.480 Like you want this con.

00:09:02.580 It's never going to be that.

00:09:03.700 It's never going to be like shit.

00:09:04.700 The best was Dice one time, met some guy and he goes, oh, we should, we should hang

00:09:08.560 out for some fan.

00:09:10.500 And Dice is like, you know how he is.

00:09:12.180 And he's like, sure, give me a number.

00:09:13.880 And Dice called him and texted him 35 times a day, bothered him at work to the point where

00:09:18.920 the guy's like, hey, Andrew, I'm working right now.

00:09:21.460 I go, oh, yeah, work's tough.

00:09:22.920 You know, it's like, I remember a couple of jobs I had when I was younger.

00:09:25.640 And it's like, Andrew, I got to go back to work.

00:09:27.800 The guy just regretted trying to be friends with him.

00:09:32.360 Yeah, that, oh, that's hilarious.

00:09:34.660 It does suck.

00:09:35.320 Like, I heard Brody Stevens went back there and like either didn't know or now that I

00:09:39.320 realize probably somebody told him.

00:09:40.540 And he went back and was like, oh, like, you're not expecting to see anybody, let alone Johnny

00:09:45.140 fucking Depp.

00:09:46.200 And he goes, oh.

00:09:47.160 And then I heard Depp had this way to offset.

00:09:49.220 He goes, hi, I'm Johnny.

00:09:50.020 How you doing?

00:09:50.700 Or I'm John.

00:09:51.500 Yeah.

00:09:52.320 And then Brody's like, Johnny Depp.

00:09:54.500 Yes.

00:09:55.060 He must have been like, this guy's been weird in front of me.

00:09:59.560 Like, no, no, no.

00:10:00.020 That's just who he is.

00:10:00.620 He's going to hang himself soon.

00:10:01.900 Don't worry about that.

00:10:02.900 God, yeah, that's it.

00:10:07.400 Yeah.

00:10:07.520 There's nothing scarier than if you have a line for something to say this because your

00:10:10.860 brain doesn't think it's just like, oh, everything will go good.

00:10:13.260 It's not like, well, if that doesn't get adhered to, then what are you going to do after that?

00:10:16.840 Yeah.

00:10:17.020 You plan ahead.

00:10:17.600 Like, once that goes great, then what do I do from there?

00:10:20.000 I'll talk.

00:10:20.480 I'll listen.

00:10:21.060 I'll say, hey, I will.

00:10:23.240 Then I'll ask you.

00:10:23.840 Maybe we can get a photo or something.

00:10:24.920 Yeah.

00:10:25.260 But God, it's so scary when that first line doesn't go good because then you don't know what

00:10:28.460 to do.

00:10:29.640 Oh, it's so embarrassing.

00:10:31.400 It is harrowing kind of.

00:10:33.120 And that was at a time when celebs, there was like a real hierarchy to celebrity.

00:10:37.440 And I feel like celebrities gotten very like anybody, like it's everybody has like social

00:10:44.260 media, you know, everybody has a website.

00:10:46.360 Everybody could be a star, you know.

00:10:48.000 You also see the real them now, the real, real celebrities.

00:10:50.560 Yeah.

00:10:50.800 So you're like, oh, you're just a guy.

00:10:52.340 Yeah.

00:10:53.040 You do the same.

00:10:53.640 You're like, oh, I see you with your dog.

00:10:55.020 You're fine.

00:10:55.780 You're normal.

00:10:56.240 So yeah, things have gotten.

00:10:57.920 Yeah.

00:10:58.700 Celebrities used to be kept more in this kind of hidden realm kind of.

00:11:02.140 Yeah.

00:11:02.380 I met Rob Lowe, who's one of those big, did my travel podcast.

00:11:06.180 Yeah.

00:11:06.820 And he was like, can I change?

00:11:07.900 And the other room was like, yeah, sure.

00:11:08.980 It's, I mean, it's filthy.

00:11:10.600 I had someone sleeping in there yesterday.

00:11:11.840 So like, but like, yeah, whatever.

00:11:14.040 And then it's just like, yeah, I don't have to like cater to him.

00:11:16.800 You're a guy.

00:11:17.380 Fucking go in there and change.

00:11:18.300 I don't know.

00:11:18.920 Right.

00:11:19.540 Yeah.

00:11:19.740 And that's how they all are.

00:11:21.140 It's just, it's, it's weird realizing as you grow up, they're not different.

00:11:24.520 Yeah.

00:11:25.000 Do you think that's growing up or do you think that it's changed that the, that like,

00:11:28.840 maybe it's changed.

00:11:30.860 Maybe, but I mean, I always take out the fact that I'm getting, that I'm getting older and

00:11:34.840 growing up, that that could be part of the realization of things.

00:11:38.440 Yeah.

00:11:38.600 Somebody said like, whenever you have a big movie now, they're like, oh, let's get like

00:11:41.640 Matt Damon or, you know, it's Brad Pitt.

00:11:43.440 That'll be a big, big star.

00:11:44.400 But there's like no one under 28 worships that guy.

00:11:47.700 Yeah.

00:11:48.320 So like, it's a 50 year old studio exec saying that'll be a headline.

00:11:51.260 I was like, no, no, get Timothy Chalamet.

00:11:53.140 Yeah.

00:11:53.340 Get somebody younger.

00:11:54.980 Yeah.

00:11:55.140 Get Timothy Chalamet or get a lesbian.

00:11:56.880 Who's a Timothy Chalamet impersonator.

00:11:58.840 Yeah.

00:11:59.380 Without even trying.

00:12:00.360 Yeah.

00:12:01.280 Yeah.

00:12:01.860 But even that would go further with a young generation.

00:12:04.700 Sure would.

00:12:05.700 They'd be like, oh yeah.

00:12:06.620 Like what the fuck?

00:12:08.740 Ari Shafir, man.

00:12:09.680 Good to see you, bro.

00:12:10.480 You too, buddy.

00:12:11.120 Yeah.

00:12:11.280 Are you living, are you living in Austin now?

00:12:13.320 No, New York.

00:12:14.020 Are you still living in New York?

00:12:14.720 Just publicly.

00:12:15.420 Every time I'm there, there's so many fucking pictures.

00:12:18.400 So there was like, I guess you must be there.

00:12:20.380 Yeah.

00:12:20.800 Yeah.

00:12:21.040 You can't do two feet without somebody posting a picture.

00:12:23.720 And they're pretty immediate over there too.

00:12:26.000 Yeah.

00:12:26.680 Like the second you're there, you show up on social media.

00:12:29.380 Yeah.

00:12:29.620 You're like, it's almost like, hey, how's, how's the crowd?

00:12:31.820 I'm about to go on.

00:12:32.540 I noticed you.

00:12:32.980 They just post you there like, oh, all right.

00:12:34.940 They're pretty good.

00:12:36.000 Do you, are you amazed at the success of Austin or with the comedy scene in Austin?

00:12:40.220 What do you think about it?

00:12:41.080 Do you?

00:12:41.720 It's exciting.

00:12:43.320 For sure.

00:12:43.800 It's exciting.

00:12:44.380 They got some shit to overcome.

00:12:45.600 They want to be the real scene.

00:12:46.740 Yeah.

00:12:47.360 Yeah.

00:12:47.700 The, they, they need to know where they're weak.

00:12:51.340 They don't.

00:12:52.940 Oh, where they're weak.

00:12:53.880 The comedians you mean?

00:12:55.100 Yeah.

00:12:55.560 There, there, there's a lot of like ass kissing there.

00:12:57.600 It's like, we're great.

00:12:58.300 We're great.

00:12:58.740 And you really got to focus on why we're terrible.

00:13:01.000 Self-hating was always drive you better than celebration.

00:13:04.440 Oh, you know what?

00:13:05.220 That's a good, I don't know if there's as much self-hatred there.

00:13:07.800 Yeah.

00:13:07.920 The store, especially when you started going there, like right after me, it was, it was

00:13:11.660 like, no, it was there.

00:13:12.560 Like we suck.

00:13:13.640 We fucking suck.

00:13:14.540 It's obvious.

00:13:15.120 No one's here to see us.

00:13:16.560 So let's try to be better.

00:13:18.060 Yeah.

00:13:18.260 They've kind of started out like doing well.

00:13:21.000 Yeah.

00:13:21.420 Kind of like the John Bonnet of comedy.

00:13:24.520 So four year comics with like serious road draws like, oh, you need that fucking struggle

00:13:29.720 time.

00:13:30.040 If you started with a spotter, it's not the best way to work out.

00:13:32.960 I didn't even really think about that.

00:13:34.340 Yeah.

00:13:34.500 But it's still exciting.

00:13:35.440 It's a new burgeoning scene and that's pretty exciting.

00:13:37.960 You know, there's no, there's no Hollywood there to, to, to fuck it up, to ship people

00:13:42.360 away from what they're doing.

00:13:43.360 So they're really just concentrating on jokes.

00:13:45.280 Yeah.

00:13:47.200 Yeah.

00:13:47.600 It's, I've not like, at first I was like, what's this going to be like?

00:13:50.580 Like, you know, it seemed like a lot of like, um, you know, when Joe went, but then also

00:13:54.880 Tom Segura went, which is huge.

00:13:57.600 And a lot of comedians went like, I think the bigger thing is those five, six year comics

00:14:01.080 that are gone.

00:14:01.600 And in 10 years, it's like a long, it's a long game to make that scene something.

00:14:05.040 And in 10 years, they're going to be the biggest, the best comics.

00:14:08.520 Right.

00:14:08.680 And they're going to be Austin comics.

00:14:10.060 Yeah.

00:14:11.160 You know?

00:14:11.480 Yeah.

00:14:11.660 That's kind of the last time I was there, I was like, you could go up and down that street

00:14:15.780 and do kind of five sets in a night if you wanted.

00:14:18.040 And I was like, well, that is.

00:14:19.360 That part's nice.

00:14:19.700 Yeah.

00:14:20.140 That's nice.

00:14:20.460 Do you ever, I mean, I don't know how you are normally.

00:14:22.480 You're so fucking big now.

00:14:23.540 It's pretty cool.

00:14:24.440 But like, I talked with Shane too.

00:14:26.860 I'm like, can you go up and like get an honest rep anymore?

00:14:30.760 Oh, that's a good question.

00:14:31.820 Shane, especially Shane, I feel like is the biggest guy in the world right now.

00:14:35.720 I feel like he's like, I don't even know who I would compare him to.

00:14:40.240 He's like the big, he's like.

00:14:41.820 Not Dane Cook.

00:14:42.800 Yeah.

00:14:43.000 At the time.

00:14:44.240 When Dane was Dane.

00:14:45.840 Shane and Dane.

00:14:46.920 Shane and Dane.

00:14:48.580 Buddy cops.

00:14:49.880 Where they don't do anything.

00:14:51.180 They just get drunk instead.

00:14:52.760 And Dane just goes, come on, don't drink, don't drink, don't drink.

00:14:55.200 And Shane just keeps drinking.

00:14:56.300 And they never solve a crime.

00:14:57.400 Dane has a big idea.

00:14:58.420 And then Shane just.

00:15:00.200 Seems gay.

00:15:00.940 Raises his eyebrow at him.

00:15:02.400 And he's like, all right, I won't.

00:15:04.240 Seems gay.

00:15:05.720 That's hilarious.

00:15:06.640 That'd be the best.

00:15:07.940 That'd be the best cop.

00:15:08.980 Nothing happens every single episode.

00:15:12.080 I just sit there and kind of half argue.

00:15:16.200 Yeah, you need an honest rep.

00:15:17.260 There's times where I go up in New York and it's a big applause.

00:15:19.180 And sometimes I go up and it's like, one guy's like that.

00:15:21.360 And I'm like, oh, nice.

00:15:22.220 Okay, this is going to be a real.

00:15:23.280 I'll really tell if my jokes are good this time.

00:15:24.880 This is going to be fair.

00:15:25.800 Yeah.

00:15:26.000 Well, I think a lot of the people from the podcast or that realm or whatever people that

00:15:29.820 podcast, it's like a lot of the audiences know us.

00:15:33.980 They just see us so much, you know?

00:15:35.780 Going ahead of time.

00:15:36.580 They already know your backstory.

00:15:37.660 Yeah.

00:15:38.140 They saw so many.

00:15:39.140 I mean, they've seen so many clips or for you or things that are out there, you know?

00:15:42.680 And a lot of it's stuff that we didn't even make.

00:15:44.500 It's like other channels making shit.

00:15:46.420 It's like, you know, like I know there's like Legion of Skanks has like extra channels that

00:15:50.500 are always just making their shit and putting it out.

00:15:52.460 And it's great stuff, but it's like, so then that just gets so much of it out there.

00:15:57.800 Yeah.

00:15:58.200 I remember doing one time I was doing, when I was doing that Jew special, I would do Q&As

00:16:01.660 to like, what do you want to know about Jews?

00:16:03.020 And sometimes they'd be like, what's Theo Vaughn like?

00:16:04.580 I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

00:16:05.300 Just Jew questions.

00:16:06.280 And then one time in Houston, I was like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to do this.

00:16:10.700 They said something about Bird.

00:16:11.620 I was like, I was like, all right, Bird did that, whatever.

00:16:13.460 And then Tom, and I was doing that.

00:16:15.060 And then this black couple, this guy, just raising your hand, he raised his hand.

00:16:18.280 I was like, yeah, question.

00:16:18.880 And he goes, who are all those people?

00:16:20.840 And I was like, oh, right.

00:16:23.360 Yeah.

00:16:23.720 You don't know the backstory.

00:16:25.080 I can't do shit like that.

00:16:26.620 Yeah.

00:16:27.640 Well, black people started podcasting a lot more last year.

00:16:30.440 Yeah.

00:16:30.700 They just figured out how to get online.

00:16:32.500 Oh.

00:16:33.200 Yeah.

00:16:33.600 They couldn't figure out the password.

00:16:34.620 They keep changing their phone numbers too much.

00:16:36.200 It's linked to an old phone number.

00:16:37.840 That could be true.

00:16:38.740 Yeah.

00:16:39.340 They're like, oh, this is my aunt's email account.

00:16:41.700 Is this your address?

00:16:42.360 Who's asking?

00:16:43.360 Who's asking?

00:16:46.260 Yeah.

00:16:46.900 Some guy putting his home address or his email address, dude.

00:16:51.280 Disguises to enter into a password.

00:16:52.820 Like, I don't know how it works.

00:16:53.980 Anyway, they finally hired some white Jew out of college to run it for him.

00:16:57.660 Yeah.

00:16:57.940 Now it's all running great.

00:16:59.820 I am.

00:17:00.200 I am curious about Austin.

00:17:01.420 I'm curious because last time I was there, just this energy.

00:17:05.100 There is a lot of excitement.

00:17:06.680 The club will be sold out.

00:17:07.680 I mean, Joe's club will be sold out forever.

00:17:09.260 So you sold out in seconds.

00:17:10.420 Yeah.

00:17:10.680 But even you go to some of those other rooms, you go to Red Band's room next door.

00:17:13.560 Where you go to, there's the Black Cat or something.

00:17:16.820 Uh-huh, Black Rabbit.

00:17:17.880 Yeah, Black Rabbit.

00:17:19.280 My problem is also, I can't get any on it.

00:17:21.120 I'm a star there.

00:17:22.420 Yeah.

00:17:22.820 So that's not, it's fun.

00:17:24.660 It was like, do you remember the Laugh Factory open mic?

00:17:27.720 Yes.

00:17:28.300 So Laugh Factory open mic.

00:17:29.320 Signing up for it and sitting outside.

00:17:30.760 You can only do once a month.

00:17:32.200 And that's what kept you in comedy.

00:17:33.900 Because you're like, I will kill.

00:17:35.740 And the store open mic was like, made you think about quitting.

00:17:38.020 Yeah.

00:17:38.860 But like, it was so good.

00:17:40.720 You need that once in a while.

00:17:41.740 It's just a victory lap.

00:17:42.620 That's how Austin is for me.

00:17:43.600 No matter where I go, I'm like, yes!

00:17:45.740 And I'm like, all right, I can't work on anything here.

00:17:48.560 It's probably because you and Rogan have been friends for so long.

00:17:51.100 You've just been, you know, so intertwined with a lot of those guys.

00:17:53.640 And because you've done so much work yourself.

00:17:55.900 But for new comics, you can get that honest rep there.

00:17:58.120 And that's what's exciting to me.

00:17:59.560 And I think that Joe also, he's trying to build a scene.

00:18:01.740 Not just a club.

00:18:03.260 Yeah.

00:18:03.820 I think he's doing it.

00:18:04.680 I mean, he pushes.

00:18:05.680 At the end of every episode, he asks everybody.

00:18:07.520 He's like, so?

00:18:08.920 You moving Austin?

00:18:09.740 Oh, yeah.

00:18:10.920 He tries so hard.

00:18:11.920 He really does.

00:18:12.340 Yeah.

00:18:12.620 He tries so hard.

00:18:13.760 I try to tell him the reasons why.

00:18:15.100 They don't make sense to him.

00:18:16.140 Yeah.

00:18:16.540 I'm like, it's like an influencer town.

00:18:18.420 Yeah.

00:18:18.840 And he's like, no, you just get a place 45 minutes away with armed guards every mile.

00:18:22.420 You know?

00:18:23.280 And it's like, okay, that's not going to be my reality, bud.

00:18:25.740 Yeah.

00:18:26.000 Yeah, he's had people just shooting on it, tablets into it.

00:18:28.580 No, it's close.

00:18:29.080 They just get airlifted into the club and get airlifted back.

00:18:31.500 It's easy, man.

00:18:32.360 Yeah.

00:18:33.040 But it's such a fun time.

00:18:34.740 It is fun.

00:18:35.460 Oh, my God.

00:18:36.020 It's a vacation.

00:18:36.740 Every time you go there, you can treat it right.

00:18:38.360 You fill up your own drinks.

00:18:39.860 That's how every club should be.

00:18:41.280 I'm an adult.

00:18:41.880 I get free drinks.

00:18:42.440 Why do I got to borrow this bartender?

00:18:44.340 Yeah.

00:18:44.600 Let me just make my drinks.

00:18:46.300 And people are like, doesn't he lose a lot of money?

00:18:47.500 They're like, a bottle of, it costs $60.

00:18:49.700 Right.

00:18:50.300 No.

00:18:51.120 Like, yeah, if that's that much of the stress, then you guys are having a tough time anyway.

00:18:55.980 Yeah.

00:18:57.180 Yeah.

00:18:57.640 You make a lot of money.

00:18:58.800 You see your friends with nothing to do when you're there.

00:19:02.020 Getting to be in there, you also, people don't realize you get to meet whoever Joe had on

00:19:08.480 his show that day is going to be at the club that night.

00:19:10.940 There's some congresspersons there.

00:19:12.360 Yeah.

00:19:12.600 Like, hello.

00:19:13.160 Anyway, we're about to make some Holocaust jokes.

00:19:15.780 Do you want to stay in for this?

00:19:17.100 Or that's on you.

00:19:18.900 He's like, I wrote a couple myself.

00:19:20.580 Yeah.

00:19:21.680 We're like, I think I could fuck AIDS out of a chick.

00:19:24.080 You're like, oh, I'm sorry, your honor.

00:19:26.580 Maybe we'll leave.

00:19:29.300 But he does feel energetic there.

00:19:30.940 I'm seriously considering trying to get a little house there or someplace where I can

00:19:35.660 be there more often because I want to be able to work on comedy more.

00:19:38.400 I do feel like I get a real rep for comedy when I'm here, actually.

00:19:42.800 Interesting.

00:19:43.340 If it's not a show that I put on.

00:19:44.840 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:45.120 Right, right, right.

00:19:45.780 Then you get up.

00:19:46.520 Because I feel like L.A., like.

00:19:48.940 At least some rep.

00:19:51.160 I might know you, but maybe I'm not a ticket buyer for Theo Vaughn.

00:19:55.320 Right.

00:19:55.580 So you've got to win me over a little bit.

00:19:57.220 Yeah.

00:19:57.400 Or maybe I'm not a fan at all.

00:19:58.740 Right.

00:19:59.100 Maybe I don't like you.

00:20:00.240 Yeah.

00:20:00.440 So win me over.

00:20:01.480 The best was one time when Louie came back, we saw security footage camera.

00:20:05.780 Some chick was there at the side.

00:20:07.300 So we could see her fully behind Louie.

00:20:09.320 And she was like, just like mad.

00:20:11.780 And then four minutes in, it's Louie C.K.

00:20:13.540 Right.

00:20:13.820 So he's the talent there is undeniable.

00:20:17.100 So she's mad.

00:20:18.120 After about four minutes, she goes.

00:20:20.900 And then five minutes later, she's like.

00:20:23.280 And then by the end, she's just dying laughing.

00:20:25.120 She's like, yeah, maybe this guy's all right.

00:20:27.080 Yeah.

00:20:27.740 At the end, she's like, jerk off in front of me.

00:20:30.440 You can do it.

00:20:31.480 Don't ask.

00:20:32.660 I'm not into that.

00:20:35.260 He's changing her whole emo.

00:20:37.560 Yeah.

00:20:38.340 Dude, I really think.

00:20:41.120 Yeah.

00:20:41.520 I think Louie, Bill Burr, probably the funny.

00:20:46.380 They might be.

00:20:47.040 Louie's the funniest guy I've ever seen.

00:20:49.340 The funniest person I've ever spoken to.

00:20:51.620 He's the most creative, I think.

00:20:53.520 He's always just making jokes.

00:20:55.480 And you put him on a pedestal sometimes, but he's not.

00:20:57.260 He's just a schmuck.

00:20:58.080 He's just a schmendrick, a fat blob.

00:21:00.440 And like whatever we put on, that's us putting stuff on.

00:21:02.520 He's just a dude.

00:21:03.640 Yeah.

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00:25:06.840 You have a new comedy special coming out.

00:25:12.200 Yeah, it's out.

00:25:12.860 It's out now?

00:25:13.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:14.000 It just came out.

00:25:14.540 America's Sweetheart.

00:25:15.680 Nice.

00:25:16.200 Oh, and that's you?

00:25:17.100 It's me.

00:25:17.600 That's right.

00:25:19.480 So things have changed.

00:25:21.000 That's right.

00:25:21.520 In America, for sure.

00:25:23.120 I'm the nice guy.

00:25:24.120 Hey, we'll take what we can get, you know?

00:25:26.760 Like, there's nobody nicer?

00:25:27.700 Like, nah.

00:25:29.500 Do you find as you've been in comedy for how long?

00:25:33.780 25 years.

00:25:34.740 Wow.

00:25:35.200 Right?

00:25:35.460 It's a long fucking time.

00:25:39.000 It's more than half.

00:25:41.220 I've been more in comedy than not in comedy.

00:25:43.200 I think I just passed that.

00:25:44.780 Do you feel like in the beginning you were just telling jokes?

00:25:48.700 Like, there was a...

00:25:50.280 And now that there isn't any more purpose.

00:25:52.140 I just wonder, like, I try to look at, like, do we evolve as comedians?

00:25:56.020 Because you hear some people say we evolve, right?

00:25:57.760 Yeah.

00:25:58.020 You hear some people say their whole goal, their whole life is just to get up the punchline.

00:26:02.060 Some people want to start being philosophical, right?

00:26:04.160 Like, do you feel any difference or notice anything about that for yourself?

00:26:08.980 Yeah, I think it's everybody.

00:26:10.060 It's like, it's not even like you do this thing.

00:26:11.600 It might even take off or not take off.

00:26:12.980 But then you're like, well, I'm a different person.

00:26:14.140 Like, Sturgill.

00:26:14.780 You know Sturgill Simpson?

00:26:15.640 Mm-hmm.

00:26:16.080 So he's singing about DMT and mushrooms and stuff.

00:26:18.800 And then the later albums, like, it's about his kids and stuff.

00:26:21.120 And they're like, what about the drugs?

00:26:22.140 And he's like, I mean, I covered it.

00:26:24.020 I'm in my 40s now.

00:26:25.720 It's kind of gross to be talking about, like, can you believe I got so whacked out?

00:26:29.600 It's like, it's kind of lame at some point.

00:26:31.060 So you have to, like, shift.

00:26:32.300 And the better you get to, you talk to a tale who I think definitely could be the best.

00:26:37.820 Good point.

00:26:38.740 And you see him, dude, that joke was so funny.

00:26:40.740 He goes, it was a simple switch.

00:26:42.460 And, like, he's on such a higher level that stuff.

00:26:44.980 I've been around for a while that I'm like, wow.

00:26:46.980 He's like, that was a nothing thing.

00:26:48.480 That was an easy trick I just did.

00:26:49.760 Yeah.

00:26:50.060 And he's so far above me, I can't see it.

00:26:53.300 So, yeah, everybody evolves a bit.

00:26:56.040 I've started using my English degree more.

00:26:58.640 Really?

00:26:59.200 Yeah.

00:27:00.160 Doing pretty much my last two specials.

00:27:02.200 Like Othello or something?

00:27:03.900 No, like the five-paragraph essay.

00:27:06.460 Oh.

00:27:07.220 Like having a real plan to it?

00:27:08.880 Yeah.

00:27:09.360 Just like, here's my thesis.

00:27:10.960 Here's my proofs.

00:27:11.940 Now here's a wrap-up.

00:27:14.620 Instead of just a collection of bits.

00:27:16.080 But, you know, once you get, like, pretty good at joke telling, then it's like, what do I want to do on top of that?

00:27:23.040 Right.

00:27:23.360 So that's what I'm doing with this.

00:27:24.080 I'm trying to get people off the news.

00:27:26.160 Yeah.

00:27:26.440 Is that what it's about more?

00:27:27.240 Yeah.

00:27:27.540 I'm sort of like, just get, things are pretty good.

00:27:29.580 If you're on there too much, they're going to think it's bad.

00:27:31.940 But it's actually pretty fucking good.

00:27:34.820 Yeah.

00:27:35.100 I saw a clip where you were with Howie Mandel.

00:27:36.600 He was talking about anti, I don't know if you guys were talking about anti-Semitism.

00:27:39.400 Somebody was.

00:27:39.980 Yeah.

00:27:40.500 And then.

00:27:40.920 How come you can pronounce that well and not nuclear?

00:27:43.360 That's a good question.

00:27:44.060 Yeah.

00:27:44.860 Yeah.

00:27:45.600 Programming.

00:27:45.920 Yeah.

00:27:46.120 You've come in contact with one more than another.

00:27:49.220 Yeah.

00:27:51.060 And he.

00:27:52.200 He was so sure that's a horrible time for Jews.

00:27:54.920 Yeah.

00:27:55.380 And I'm so positive it's not.

00:27:57.360 Yeah.

00:27:58.700 Yeah.

00:27:59.100 I remember he.

00:27:59.800 There was one time he was.

00:28:01.160 Oh, I think it was when Trump was running for office.

00:28:02.880 And nobody can understand how I like.

00:28:05.480 I was excited that Trump was running because he was a.

00:28:08.320 I was like, if that fucking dude can win, then anybody could go win.

00:28:11.920 Yeah.

00:28:12.180 The way Obama gave black people hope.

00:28:13.760 Yeah.

00:28:14.280 He gives.

00:28:14.740 Trump gives regular people hope.

00:28:16.480 Oh, dude.

00:28:17.100 The first time that he won, I remember dropping down the street and I've never even been a

00:28:21.400 big Trump or I've never endorsed Trump.

00:28:23.140 I don't think I voted for him the first time.

00:28:24.800 I don't remember if I voted for him the first time.

00:28:26.100 But.

00:28:28.520 I was like, fucking anybody can win.

00:28:32.600 And like, if you're born with a billion dollars, like, yeah, but you also say stupid and I'm

00:28:35.920 stupid.

00:28:36.500 Yeah.

00:28:36.760 So that's the part I relate to.

00:28:38.400 Right.

00:28:38.840 Yeah.

00:28:39.360 You're like, anybody could win.

00:28:40.960 That's the part that was fascinating about it.

00:28:42.460 But I remember how I was scared.

00:28:43.880 I was like, oh, oh, no.

00:28:45.140 When they had that Richmond neo-Nazi, that Nazi thing in Richmond, remember years ago?

00:28:49.180 Oh, yeah.

00:28:50.460 What was that?

00:28:50.980 It was like those guys had bought those cheeky torches or whatever.

00:28:53.560 Yeah.

00:28:53.900 No, it wasn't Richmond.

00:28:55.160 Charlottesville.

00:28:55.760 Charlottesville.

00:28:56.360 Charlottesville.

00:28:56.780 Yeah.

00:28:57.220 And I was like.

00:28:57.800 There was a statue.

00:28:58.180 Do you know who the statue was there?

00:28:59.340 Mm-mm.

00:28:59.840 No one does.

00:29:02.400 Nobody knows who the fucking statue was.

00:29:04.340 And it was a flashpoint of everything.

00:29:06.620 Was it Stephen Douglas?

00:29:11.480 Remember the city, symbols of the city's Confederate past.

00:29:13.880 They don't even, they don't even know who it is.

00:29:15.820 They're all protesting.

00:29:16.420 They don't even know who the fucking statue is.

00:29:18.100 Totally normal.

00:29:19.240 Oh, it was Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.

00:29:21.060 Two of them.

00:29:21.820 Now, that's New Orleans, isn't it?

00:29:23.440 That's Charlottesville?

00:29:24.360 Yeah, that's Charlottesville.

00:29:25.340 Oh, yeah.

00:29:25.640 I had a school nearby me called Robert E. Lee Junior High School.

00:29:28.420 I wonder if it's still called that.

00:29:29.480 Probably changed it.

00:29:30.120 Probably changed it.

00:29:30.880 Erasing history.

00:29:31.800 To Bobby Lee.

00:29:33.180 Yeah.

00:29:34.260 Bobby Lee College of Dropouts.

00:29:36.680 Dude, how does Bobby Lee not have an elementary school named after that?

00:29:39.860 You gotta.

00:29:40.700 You still look kind of like you're in one.

00:29:42.500 You could go undercover, Bob.

00:29:44.120 Just shave that stupid stash.

00:29:45.360 You could go undercover.

00:29:46.100 You look young.

00:29:46.880 Oh, yeah.

00:29:47.460 With just insane teriyaki lunches every day.

00:29:50.600 Yeah.

00:29:51.200 Just these giant meals.

00:29:52.940 You ever go to eat with Bobby?

00:29:54.200 He just, like, fills up the table.

00:29:55.640 And you're like, oh, is this for us?

00:29:56.920 He goes, oh, no, you can order two.

00:30:00.120 Bobby eats like Ralphie Mae.

00:30:01.460 He's a principal.

00:30:02.340 He shows up once a year over Zoom.

00:30:06.700 You know what I saw the other day?

00:30:08.040 Oh, I was talking to my, I was talking to this kid, and he didn't know what AIDS was, dude.

00:30:14.840 What?

00:30:15.460 Yeah.

00:30:16.180 He doesn't know what AIDS is.

00:30:17.540 I was like, kid.

00:30:18.220 I was like.

00:30:19.320 You trying to educate him on it?

00:30:20.460 I don't think I'm allowed to tell you, but.

00:30:22.680 I was like, dude, what about AIDS?

00:30:24.220 And he's like, AIDS?

00:30:25.300 And I was like, AIDS, you know?

00:30:27.340 The one of the top three things.

00:30:29.260 Yeah.

00:30:29.680 I mean, dude, it's like, but where is it?

00:30:32.180 Like, if kids don't even know about AIDS, man.

00:30:34.720 It's gone.

00:30:35.680 But that's crazy.

00:30:36.780 You got to talk to gays, bro.

00:30:38.460 I talked to Mateo.

00:30:39.680 Because you can't get it.

00:30:40.500 We got a force field now.

00:30:41.840 Oh, they do?

00:30:42.340 Prep.

00:30:43.260 Oh, prep drugs.

00:30:44.540 Yeah, prep.

00:30:45.080 So it's like, it's like, they just can't get it.

00:30:48.180 So it's back to 80s.

00:30:49.600 Let's fuck.

00:30:50.900 Let's be gay the way gay was meant to be.

00:30:53.700 Yeah.

00:30:55.400 Let's fuck in the back of the church.

00:30:57.520 Let's fuck anywhere gays are.

00:31:00.660 They'll fuck anywhere, huh?

00:31:02.200 They just go for it.

00:31:03.480 That's crazy, isn't it?

00:31:06.040 Imagine just.

00:31:07.160 I think I'm trying to jerk me off in the back of a bus in Vietnam.

00:31:10.300 You did?

00:31:10.880 Yeah.

00:31:11.120 And the guy was gay?

00:31:18.080 I don't fucking know what their, I don't know what their culture is.

00:31:22.480 That's a big sign, usually.

00:31:24.700 Dude, they're starving over there.

00:31:26.980 They could have been ordering soup.

00:31:31.980 Dude, any joke that ends in soup, Jewish people love it for some reason.

00:31:36.620 I'm listening.

00:31:37.140 It's a little cold.

00:31:37.820 I'll eat half and send it back.

00:31:38.840 But I like that joke.

00:31:39.640 I'll eat half that joke and send it back.

00:31:44.900 Hold on, almost done?

00:31:47.820 There's our hair in there.

00:31:48.680 That's the biggest problem with Jews going bald.

00:31:52.520 They can't send soup back.

00:31:57.400 Sorry, Howie, you're right.

00:31:59.000 That's hilarious, dude.

00:32:00.360 That was fucking hilarious.

00:32:05.940 What are we talking about?

00:32:07.160 Jesus Christ.

00:32:07.880 Is this what the president said?

00:32:09.040 Oh, the AIDS.

00:32:10.300 Oh, the AIDS.

00:32:11.560 Yeah.

00:32:12.100 I miss it.

00:32:14.520 It was like a real thing.

00:32:15.780 United people.

00:32:17.720 United Nation AIDS.

00:32:18.660 I remember, yeah, they were like at a school or whatever.

00:32:21.420 They made us do like a round of applause for HIV or whatever it was.

00:32:24.460 It was like something like some thing they had at our school.

00:32:28.580 It was like clap for AIDS or whatever.

00:32:31.620 Clap for it?

00:32:32.620 It was like somebody would clap as long as they could to raise money for AIDS.

00:32:35.960 Like one of those things, like do it as long as you can.

00:32:38.280 Like an AIDS-a-thon or whatever.

00:32:41.240 And it was like, I just remember being in this gym and people just, it was like somebody

00:32:44.540 had to keep clapping.

00:32:45.620 So you had to tag in somebody else to clap.

00:32:47.680 And then if you got to a certain number of hours, then you raise a certain amount of money.

00:32:51.540 Wow.

00:32:52.420 Turns out they never got the cure.

00:32:53.940 They just got a pretty much a backseat.

00:32:57.140 You did it.

00:32:57.460 AIDS.

00:32:58.100 AIDS.

00:32:59.460 Dude, that's not funny.

00:33:01.820 But when you're here, everything's funny, dude.

00:33:03.480 Oh, what is this right there?

00:33:04.460 Oh, an unfortunate product name.

00:33:05.960 A-Y-D-S.

00:33:07.300 AIDS.

00:33:07.880 I was overweight.

00:33:08.580 It looked terrible.

00:33:08.860 Help me lose 46 pounds.

00:33:11.620 The AIDS diet plan helped me lose 28 pounds.

00:33:15.220 AIDS helps control your appetite so you lose weight.

00:33:18.060 Yet AIDS lets you taste, chew, and enjoy.

00:33:20.600 And the appetite suppressant in AIDS is not a stimulant.

00:33:24.180 AIDS helped me to lose 18 pounds, and it doesn't contain anything to make me nervous.

00:33:28.240 Question.

00:33:29.120 Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AIDS?

00:33:32.260 AIDS helps you lose weight without making you...

00:33:34.420 That's crazy.

00:33:35.200 Wow.

00:33:35.600 That's crazy.

00:33:36.180 Dude, the term, they enjoy AIDS.

00:33:39.000 And people are like, where did AIDS start?

00:33:41.020 Fuck you.

00:33:42.180 In chewable form.

00:33:44.220 That's wild.

00:33:44.820 I mean, what's that new drug that makes you lose weight?

00:33:47.240 Oh, Zempic.

00:33:47.940 Oh, Zempic.

00:33:48.460 That's that.

00:33:48.960 They just rebranded.

00:33:50.200 AIDS.

00:33:51.020 Zima did it.

00:33:51.880 They went to Trulia and White Claw.

00:33:53.620 They were smart.

00:33:54.200 Oh, they did, huh?

00:33:55.420 I forgot.

00:33:56.400 Zima was just an early White Claw.

00:33:58.260 Zima gives me...

00:33:58.880 What happened there gives me hope for society, because you're within a 10, 15 year age of

00:34:05.380 me.

00:34:06.300 You remember Zima.

00:34:07.360 Oh, yeah.

00:34:07.680 And it was like, it's like there's a cooler stuff, and you reach for a Zima.

00:34:10.800 People are like, you sure you want to do that in front of people?

00:34:12.820 Yeah.

00:34:13.140 You're going to be called gay for a long time.

00:34:14.600 And you're like, okay, I won't.

00:34:16.200 We went away, and then Trulia or White Claw, whichever the first one came back, and we

00:34:19.580 all kind of made a deal.

00:34:20.420 Like, let's not call each other gay.

00:34:22.180 Let's just drink this.

00:34:23.100 Yeah.

00:34:23.500 And we all were cool about it.

00:34:24.860 And just fucking shut up.

00:34:26.320 Yeah.

00:34:26.820 Yeah.

00:34:27.360 If nobody calls the other person gay, we can enjoy this.

00:34:29.900 We can do this.

00:34:30.540 Don't be the first one to take that shot in the revolution.

00:34:33.900 Dude, Zima was kind of...

00:34:35.500 Zima was one of a kind, because it had the bottles, and it kind of...

00:34:39.460 It was a malt liquor.

00:34:40.960 You kind of had a malt liquor idea to it, but it was...

00:34:44.480 Was it lemon-flavored?

00:34:46.760 Citrus, yeah.

00:34:47.520 Oh, wow.

00:34:48.140 Yeah, a little touch of citrus.

00:34:49.520 Look at the Jolly Ranchers nearby it.

00:34:51.520 Yeah, put a Jolly Rancher...

00:34:52.720 Is it out?

00:34:53.300 Can you still buy Zimas?

00:34:56.720 Is the IP still available?

00:34:58.940 You can't find Zima anywhere else, though.

00:35:00.460 It is sold in Japan.

00:35:01.560 I'm going to Japan.

00:35:02.580 Are you?

00:35:03.180 I mean, now.

00:35:05.140 It's a weird reason to go.

00:35:07.040 They got a lot of unique stuff over there.

00:35:09.300 Yeah.

00:35:10.640 Oh, what did I see the other day?

00:35:11.660 In China, there was a...

00:35:13.560 Did you see this Jackson Hole, this city in China that they built?

00:35:17.200 Jackson Hole.

00:35:17.760 When I was there, they just built a city.

00:35:19.420 Really?

00:35:19.800 Suzhou wanted to build the district, so they're just like, do it.

00:35:22.680 No bureaucracy.

00:35:24.540 Make it happen.

00:35:25.320 Just build it.

00:35:25.800 It was up in six months.

00:35:27.060 20 skyscrapers.

00:35:30.160 No waiting.

00:35:31.100 No codes.

00:35:31.760 Look at this place.

00:35:34.260 This guy built...

00:35:35.760 I visited China's $170 million Little America replica town.

00:35:39.820 It's a town of Jackson Hole.

00:35:43.500 Wow.

00:35:44.020 That's just a...

00:35:44.580 That's the burbs.

00:35:45.760 Yeah.

00:35:45.980 So it made of Jackson.

00:35:46.800 It just looks like America.

00:35:48.120 This guy went to visit it.

00:35:52.560 Those drawers from the sleep in?

00:35:54.180 And everything in it is...

00:35:56.360 Wyoming.

00:35:57.940 Yeah.

00:35:58.740 What?

00:35:59.360 Who does this?

00:36:00.680 How can you do this?

00:36:04.680 That's wild.

00:36:05.080 They built a few of these.

00:36:06.140 How big is that town?

00:36:07.140 Who's building it?

00:36:08.300 China.

00:36:08.860 Who's...

00:36:09.260 What are you...

00:36:09.620 Just to bring new people in?

00:36:11.400 Old churches?

00:36:13.700 I think rich people, it looks like.

00:36:15.480 Yeah.

00:36:15.680 What is it?

00:36:16.100 Can you give me some information on it?

00:36:17.320 So you can live in China, but be in America?

00:36:19.320 Yeah.

00:36:19.640 Something like that.

00:36:19.680 Be in America.

00:36:21.500 Property taxes.

00:36:25.160 Jackson Hole.

00:36:25.680 China is a resort town on the border between Hualai, County Zhangjiaokou, wedged between Tai

00:36:32.800 Hong and Yan Mountain Ranges in architecture is designed by the town of Jackson, Wyoming.

00:36:39.520 Is there a ski in there?

00:36:42.280 Damn.

00:36:42.880 I don't know.

00:36:43.240 Let us see some of that information.

00:36:44.200 Cowboy bar.

00:36:45.360 The Thousand Single Home Development used stock Western home plans from an architect in Oregon.

00:36:51.180 Adding designs reminiscent of Billy the Kid, Geronimo, Stagecoast Station, Big Bear, etc.

00:36:59.340 Cowhud, antler chandeliers, saddle blankets, all this stuff.

00:37:03.100 Wagon wheels, Navajo rugs, iron light fixtures, wildlife scene, fireplace screens.

00:37:07.240 This is a whole place that's there.

00:37:09.380 The project was completed in 2009.

00:37:11.700 Lu Yang Yang, the developer Yang, of the community said his selling point was more than architecture.

00:37:18.300 His buyers wanted freedom and spirituality, so he built a Christian church in the center

00:37:21.860 of the community for residents.

00:37:24.540 According to Smith, the properties have sold out and nearly tripled in value since being

00:37:28.920 built as the first model was put up in Beijing Park for display.

00:37:31.700 People apparently went nuts for it.

00:37:34.320 Damn, I should have invested in Chinese real estate.

00:37:37.480 I know.

00:37:38.240 Damn, I invested in Palisades.

00:37:42.120 Wow.

00:37:43.060 That's pretty cool.

00:37:44.000 Yeah.

00:37:44.300 Replicate town.

00:37:44.980 That's like Saudi shit.

00:37:46.000 Just interesting.

00:37:46.800 And they have a few of them.

00:37:48.060 I think there's China's...

00:37:50.040 Made to be like Venice, the canals?

00:37:52.080 Yep.

00:37:52.380 Replicate.

00:37:52.660 It's a Paris, London, and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

00:37:54.940 Just interesting.

00:37:56.460 What?

00:37:56.960 Wait, wait, wait.

00:37:57.840 Up right there.

00:37:58.740 Hold on.

00:37:59.620 That's in China?

00:38:00.700 They have an Eiffel Tower in China?

00:38:02.440 Oh, yeah.

00:38:02.740 They do it all.

00:38:03.880 Because they're like, we have so much land.

00:38:05.640 We have so many expendable souls that we can use to do construction.

00:38:09.460 Yeah.

00:38:09.900 Why not just build it here?

00:38:11.520 That way you don't have to go somewhere.

00:38:13.160 Dude, I have a map in my studio for my travel podcast, and it's in China.

00:38:17.040 You see all the cities on the right side of it.

00:38:19.540 And then as it goes left, there's just nothing.

00:38:21.440 There's an occasional dot of a city.

00:38:23.440 And I'm like, what's all of this?

00:38:26.060 And I think I should have looked it up by now, but...

00:38:28.760 What's out there?

00:38:29.540 Yeah.

00:38:29.780 Like, what the fuck?

00:38:30.380 Yeah, I think they're just...

00:38:30.900 What's in central China?

00:38:32.300 That's a good question.

00:38:33.180 There's just no reports from there?

00:38:34.200 Is that where they're keeping all the people who talk back?

00:38:36.920 What's in central China?

00:38:38.140 I saw some Korean people yesterday.

00:38:40.180 Is that they teach people to butt on the subway before you get a chance to get off?

00:38:43.160 Is that what they do?

00:38:44.080 Yeah, they do.

00:38:45.260 They don't understand, though.

00:38:46.200 Like, we get off first, then you get on.

00:38:48.480 Oh, they get off first.

00:38:49.520 They just get on.

00:38:50.480 They just push on.

00:38:51.420 Elevators, too.

00:38:51.960 Like, let me get out first.

00:38:53.660 Oh, they say it's up to you.

00:38:55.300 Yeah, it's like you didn't go for it.

00:38:58.140 What else is cracking, man?

00:39:00.020 It's cracking in the world.

00:39:01.920 Yeah, what do you think of everything?

00:39:02.940 What makes you hopeful?

00:39:05.280 Well, I get...

00:39:05.960 It's time of negativity.

00:39:06.860 What makes you hopeful?

00:39:07.720 Do you think things are feeling negative right now?

00:39:09.580 It seems like they're pushing you to be negative, but I don't think you have to be.

00:39:12.860 Yeah.

00:39:13.180 So if you center on something, it's like, wow, I like this.

00:39:15.940 New Austin scene's pretty cool.

00:39:17.280 We never had a third real scene.

00:39:19.300 That's a good point.

00:39:20.000 Yeah, that's nice.

00:39:20.900 And at first, I didn't think.

00:39:22.000 I was like, oh, we'll never really be able to compete.

00:39:23.840 But as I've gone back, I feel like, man, it is.

00:39:27.240 I don't think it has to compete.

00:39:28.400 That's the problem, too.

00:39:29.100 You get into that, where it's like, I come to L.A.

00:39:30.700 I spent a little time hating it, the way I hated religion for a while when I left.

00:39:33.540 And now I'm like, it's cool.

00:39:34.640 And I get back to L.A.

00:39:35.280 I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to get some burritos.

00:39:37.100 I'm going to see some friends.

00:39:38.040 It's great.

00:39:38.700 Yeah.

00:39:38.940 Yeah, it's just a great new extra thing.

00:39:42.400 You know?

00:39:43.240 Yeah.

00:39:43.600 It's like, it's not like, which one's better?

00:39:45.020 It's like, well, you don't have to live there.

00:39:46.420 Yeah, he's always like, you got to move here.

00:39:48.140 Yeah.

00:39:49.500 But it is cool, though.

00:39:51.360 The bars are cool.

00:39:52.640 The honky-tonks away from where he built that club is still cool.

00:39:56.400 Yeah, 6th Street is a violent atmosphere of people vomiting on one another.

00:40:00.900 It always was.

00:40:01.740 And then they put horses just, there's a horse comes by every 40 minutes and just shits everywhere.

00:40:06.320 Just shits.

00:40:06.800 Like, let's add this to the mix.

00:40:08.420 Let's add it.

00:40:09.020 Let's up it now.

00:40:10.120 You know, all this violence and, like, people are ready to go and barf and puke and, like, drunkenness.

00:40:15.240 Let's add horse shit and then sit back and watch from a safe distance atop a stallion.

00:40:22.000 Yeah, there's just occasionally people, there's just horses shitting out there.

00:40:26.640 And one of the horses they said was an undercover cop.

00:40:29.120 I'm like, who gives a fuck?

00:40:32.240 I'm like, who's going to let a horse bust him?

00:40:34.760 Who goes up to a horse like, do you want to smoke with me?

00:40:38.580 She's like, you're under her wrist.

00:40:42.080 Look at this chick.

00:40:42.980 Look at, don't move.

00:40:46.040 What the fuck are you wearing, lady?

00:40:48.360 Come on.

00:40:49.700 Have some class.

00:40:51.240 When the skirt's so short, I can smell your thoughts, you know?

00:40:54.540 I remember going there before it got, like, kind of meth-y.

00:40:57.940 And I saw some UT guys walking along, just, you know, it's like who we used to hang with

00:41:03.840 tangentially.

00:41:05.500 Just, like, tough frat guys.

00:41:07.520 And they'd pass some chick, overweight chick, and she goes, they're drunk.

00:41:10.460 She goes, you're fat!

00:41:12.120 And I was like, ugh.

00:41:14.220 Dude.

00:41:14.980 Ugh.

00:41:15.240 That's how it always was.

00:41:16.980 That's 6th Street.

00:41:17.780 No one in Austin goes to 6th Street.

00:41:20.260 Yeah.

00:41:20.880 Once a year for a lark.

00:41:22.440 Nobody real goes there.

00:41:23.900 Nobody who wants to go do something fun.

00:41:26.340 At least Broadway in Nashville is based on something.

00:41:30.680 It's based on the old honky-tonk area.

00:41:32.820 Right.

00:41:33.080 There's only one or two left.

00:41:34.700 But it's based on something.

00:41:35.920 So it comes from a place.

00:41:37.180 6th Street in Austin is just, it's based on nothing.

00:41:40.300 Yeah.

00:41:40.600 It's got a darkness to it.

00:41:41.700 Yeah, it definitely seems, it seems kind of spooky.

00:41:44.180 It seems like people that are just there to get drunk, it kind of has more of a Bourbon

00:41:48.300 Street kind of vibe to me.

00:41:49.840 Ooh, yeah, maybe.

00:41:51.260 Yeah.

00:41:51.660 And also, you're in this, like, beautiful place at Rogan's Club, and you're like, ah, it's

00:41:55.260 like a casino, no lights, no anything.

00:41:56.840 So you're like, ah, I'll see you guys later.

00:41:58.640 Ah!

00:41:59.240 Yeah.

00:41:59.640 What?

00:42:00.900 And then a rickshaw comes by.

00:42:03.160 Yeah.

00:42:03.680 Guy's like, you guys want to get in?

00:42:05.540 It's only $50 for some AIDS.

00:42:07.720 And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:42:10.040 We just want to go two blocks.

00:42:11.560 He'll be like, I'll get you AIDS by then.

00:42:13.200 I'll get you for sure.

00:42:13.980 I can find some AIDS for you out here.

00:42:15.260 What's this from?

00:42:17.940 That's an Aztec death whistle.

00:42:19.960 The coroner we had on Toby gave it to us.

00:42:22.260 If you blow it full, it sounds like a woman screaming for death.

00:42:27.160 Does it?

00:42:27.420 It's just a warning.

00:42:30.080 Wow.

00:42:31.120 It sure does.

00:42:31.940 I've heard a few of those in real life.

00:42:34.760 Keep screaming.

00:42:35.680 No one's here.

00:42:38.520 Yeah, I was with Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie when it happened.

00:42:41.200 Really?

00:42:41.580 But I didn't leave any dumb fingerprints like Brian did.

00:42:43.640 Oh.

00:42:46.440 That's what she sounded.

00:42:47.680 Oh, the darkness.

00:42:49.180 Gabby, rest in peace.

00:42:50.220 The darkness continues.

00:42:52.440 Do you think there will ever be, I believe there will be a time when people will live

00:42:56.720 forever and people will not.

00:42:57.900 And I believe that kids right now that are 15 and under, they're going to live forever.

00:43:02.720 Forever.

00:43:03.420 Like they'll have a chance to live forever.

00:43:05.260 Ooh, like they might get the drug.

00:43:07.680 Yeah.

00:43:08.100 But there's going to be this weird thing where there's going to be like.

00:43:11.940 Hey, can I get it?

00:43:12.740 Like, no, you're too old.

00:43:13.960 Yeah.

00:43:14.860 So like, am I just going to age out?

00:43:16.200 Like, yeah, it's been nice knowing you all.

00:43:17.440 I'll keep in touch with you for a few years, but then you're going to get old.

00:43:19.600 Yeah, but they're going to be like, oh, you're going to die.

00:43:23.780 People are going to be like, dude, your dad died?

00:43:25.620 What a fucking loser.

00:43:27.200 Was he poor?

00:43:27.960 Yeah.

00:43:28.540 Yeah.

00:43:28.960 Oh, man.

00:43:29.600 You guys must have been so poor.

00:43:31.140 Your dad died of natural causes.

00:43:34.080 That's so retro.

00:43:35.300 Oh, God.

00:43:36.300 He was a real.

00:43:37.460 Here's my impression of your dad.

00:43:40.180 Fucking loser.

00:43:41.820 You should have worked harder, bro.

00:43:44.220 Yeah.

00:43:45.400 Look at Timmy's dad.

00:43:48.480 But that's what's going to happen.

00:43:49.740 I think there's going to be a cutoff.

00:43:50.840 And the government will probably say this is the cutoff.

00:43:52.760 There will be some bad drugs that will come out of people trying to, like, get the actual

00:43:55.780 drug.

00:43:56.280 Yeah, some knockoffs.

00:43:57.240 Or it'll be a chip or something that you get.

00:43:59.200 And then.

00:43:59.680 Slow down all aging in your cellular level.

00:44:03.740 I'm in.

00:44:04.000 Let's do it.

00:44:04.620 But then there's going to be so many people who are not.

00:44:06.700 And there's going to be less jobs, probably.

00:44:08.360 So it's going to be.

00:44:09.040 It's going to turn very dystopian.

00:44:10.320 Would you take it if they had it right now?

00:44:11.480 It's been tested.

00:44:12.140 It's safe.

00:44:15.240 Here's the options.

00:44:15.980 Take it right now.

00:44:17.220 Wait a few years.

00:44:18.380 And decide and see how it shakes out.

00:44:20.280 Or not take it.

00:44:23.460 So you have to pick, really.

00:44:24.440 I give you one week to decide.

00:44:26.180 Yeah.

00:44:27.420 And or.

00:44:28.440 Well, this won't be for you as much.

00:44:29.820 But for me.

00:44:30.280 It may be for you, too.

00:44:31.460 It's like you can either take this live forever drug.

00:44:35.080 Or perfectly workable hair transplants.

00:44:38.040 Full head of hair.

00:44:38.840 Back to Mohawk.

00:44:39.620 Back to everything I always wanted.

00:44:41.280 Or I might go with the hair.

00:44:43.220 So hair now or live forever.

00:44:45.040 Yeah.

00:44:45.680 Because then I've got to live forever.

00:44:48.660 With that.

00:44:50.100 I think bald's cool now.

00:44:51.500 Balder.

00:44:54.060 I'm in.

00:44:54.600 Spread it.

00:44:55.380 You've got influence.

00:44:56.200 Spread that.

00:44:56.600 A lot of people are being bald and loving it now.

00:45:00.700 Really?

00:45:01.020 There's bald women.

00:45:01.920 I saw a bunch of bald.

00:45:03.520 Fat people will love it, too.

00:45:05.340 Really?

00:45:05.840 Yeah.

00:45:06.220 And we know they're lying to themselves.

00:45:08.060 Is that a bigger thing?

00:45:09.020 Being bald?

00:45:09.740 Yeah.

00:45:09.900 Big and beautiful or.

00:45:11.780 Big and bald.

00:45:12.740 It's like bald and tall.

00:45:14.440 Is that a shot?

00:45:15.100 Bald and tall?

00:45:16.080 Big and tall.

00:45:16.960 Big and tall.

00:45:17.820 Dude.

00:45:18.340 Bald and tall.

00:45:19.440 Bro.

00:45:20.080 Bald and tall is a crazy look.

00:45:21.880 Do you burn yourself in the sun too much?

00:45:24.680 Bald and tall is a crazy look.

00:45:26.160 Yeah.

00:45:28.880 Yeah.

00:45:29.340 Kanye's back on Twitter right there.

00:45:31.000 It says.

00:45:31.280 God, Hollywood sucks.

00:45:32.440 Jada Pinkett Smith.

00:45:33.220 Kanye is the most out of control person I know.

00:45:35.340 What's the point of that post?

00:45:37.360 Yeah.

00:45:37.560 Why did she start that?

00:45:38.760 Why are you looking to be in this?

00:45:41.520 Because you're not a center of attention for a second?

00:45:44.340 And then he went right back at her.

00:45:45.780 Rapunzel.

00:45:46.300 Rapunzel.

00:45:46.660 Let down your hair.

00:45:47.660 He hit her where it hurt.

00:45:49.580 Yeah.

00:45:50.180 Damn.

00:45:50.740 Nice.

00:45:51.160 That's kind of a bad part.

00:45:52.220 Yeah.

00:45:52.400 It was all right.

00:45:52.840 But I heard it just enough.

00:45:54.000 Thank you.

00:45:54.360 It was like something.

00:45:55.440 Well, it's a little thing.

00:45:56.220 It got nothing and it deserves something.

00:45:57.700 Thank you.

00:45:58.200 So there's something.

00:45:59.700 This is very sweet of you.

00:46:00.820 Little things that keep us alive.

00:46:03.420 Yeah.

00:46:03.620 What do you think about Kanye being back on Twitter?

00:46:06.060 Oh, you try to use your song, right?

00:46:07.560 For the intro to your new special.

00:46:10.180 Yeah.

00:46:10.380 I've had this whole big piece about how great he is.

00:46:12.940 That's another thing.

00:46:13.600 Focus on the positive.

00:46:14.340 That's the whole message.

00:46:15.320 It's like.

00:46:15.560 And then like everyone's like Kanye's crazy.

00:46:17.120 I'm like he.

00:46:17.960 Rules.

00:46:18.740 The music.

00:46:19.580 Yeah.

00:46:19.820 Just the music.

00:46:21.040 What is she writing about anything other than music?

00:46:23.800 Right.

00:46:24.120 To come at Kanye.

00:46:25.280 It's like.

00:46:25.700 Yeah.

00:46:25.840 If you're going.

00:46:26.700 If you're trying to get other stuff out of him.

00:46:29.480 He probably shouldn't be your liaison to like anything except maybe creativity and music.

00:46:35.000 Yeah.

00:46:35.380 Exactly.

00:46:35.780 It's like going to Burt Kreischer for weight loss tips.

00:46:37.420 Yeah.

00:46:39.040 Or coming to comedians for political ideas.

00:46:41.160 Oh, yeah.

00:46:41.500 That's another one.

00:46:42.180 I heard someone said this about the fires.

00:46:44.220 They're not firemen.

00:46:45.220 What the fuck?

00:46:46.060 They're just.

00:46:46.800 They're just like at a bar talking.

00:46:48.380 Yeah.

00:46:48.780 That's.

00:46:49.080 It's crazy.

00:46:49.820 I know.

00:46:50.120 You go to Kanye for anything other than music.

00:46:52.060 You're nuts.

00:46:52.820 Because he's not just okay at the music part.

00:46:55.040 He's great at it.

00:46:56.280 Yeah.

00:46:56.440 So I tried to get one of his songs, Black Skinhead, for my credits.

00:47:01.400 I was going up to it the whole tour because I was talking about Kanye a lot.

00:47:05.700 And Christine Oakerson, Big J's chick, was like, hey, I know he's like popping off like

00:47:09.360 whatever.

00:47:10.160 Have you heard Black Skinhead?

00:47:11.160 And I was like, no.

00:47:11.820 And I was like, oh, my God.

00:47:13.340 His antincensors got me into this song.

00:47:14.860 And I played it the whole fucking tour.

00:47:16.800 And I was like, let me try to get this for the credits.

00:47:19.460 And I wrote them.

00:47:20.520 I was like, listen, I can't afford it.

00:47:22.180 So I'm like, hey, I'm appealing to them creatively.

00:47:24.940 And I was like, hey, I had this whole big piece of how Kanye's really great and how people

00:47:28.840 have lost focus on what's important.

00:47:30.160 And I want to close with a song with Black Skinhead.

00:47:32.940 It was one of his most killer songs.

00:47:34.920 And I think kind of an underrated song, to be honest.

00:47:37.040 And they go, I hope you're not referring to him as Kanye.

00:47:40.540 He goes by yay now.

00:47:42.460 And it's like, yeah, fuck.

00:47:44.060 I'm never going to build it.

00:47:45.000 His whole staff is crazy, too.

00:47:47.460 It's like, yeah, just the fact that that was their first reply.

00:47:49.840 You're like, oh, I got no chance.

00:47:52.460 I have no chance.

00:47:55.060 Yeah, I wonder what his mind is like.

00:47:57.340 I mean, a lot of his-

00:47:58.400 I think his mom died.

00:47:59.000 Give him some sympathy.

00:48:00.040 Yeah.

00:48:00.380 What?

00:48:01.120 His girlfriend is.

00:48:02.240 His wife is beautiful.

00:48:03.380 Is that a Photoshop?

00:48:04.640 What?

00:48:05.700 She wears like a lot of skin tight suits, that lady.

00:48:09.940 Skin tight, but like make it a color.

00:48:11.860 Bianca Sensori, I believe is her name.

00:48:14.120 Possibly Italian.

00:48:15.000 I'm not sure.

00:48:15.400 She's like unveiling herself.

00:48:16.920 She's a piece of art to him.

00:48:18.480 Might be.

00:48:18.900 I mean, why wear that heavy a coat if you wear that little underneath?

00:48:24.160 I don't know, dude.

00:48:24.840 Wear a sweatshirt and a lighter coat.

00:48:26.280 God, I got to get out more.

00:48:28.300 Jugs.

00:48:29.660 Jugs.

00:48:30.260 There's a moonshine in that.

00:48:31.840 My God.

00:48:33.320 Dude, some babies are like-

00:48:35.480 Oh, my God.

00:48:36.320 I would slurp if I were her kid.

00:48:39.140 So he just keeps fucking chicks that look like Kim?

00:48:42.840 I guess so.

00:48:43.580 That's a good question.

00:48:44.560 I mean, you got to type.

00:48:45.540 I know guys are only the Asian chicks.

00:48:46.900 I can't say slurp.

00:48:47.900 That's his wife, isn't it?

00:48:48.880 That was pretty rude.

00:48:50.200 Is that his wife?

00:48:51.100 Yeah.

00:48:51.700 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:48:53.260 God.

00:48:53.820 Try it again, but use a different word other than slurp.

00:48:56.880 I would.

00:48:57.660 She's a beautiful lady.

00:48:59.240 Is that good?

00:49:00.720 Obviously, she's into showing her body off, though.

00:49:10.340 She's got some really-

00:49:11.820 Like, if I were a baby-

00:49:12.720 It's rude to not show it off.

00:49:13.740 Right.

00:49:14.200 It's a good point.

00:49:14.780 If I were a baby, dude, I would just pretend like it was morning all the time.

00:49:20.460 Just like, breakfast.

00:49:21.860 Yeah.

00:49:23.980 God, that's got to be fun when you are a baby, huh?

00:49:26.180 God, it really does.

00:49:27.100 Underrated part about being a baby.

00:49:29.020 Yeah.

00:49:29.260 Yeah.

00:49:29.300 Yeah, if you're a baby and you put the baby down between, and it's a breastfeeding baby,

00:49:33.440 between that chick and, I don't even know who, Karen Feehan, who do you think that chick

00:49:38.660 is?

00:49:39.440 That baby's going to go right for that fucking chick.

00:49:41.780 Big fucking lot of food.

00:49:43.640 Oh, yeah.

00:49:44.320 Makes sense.

00:49:45.860 Did you-

00:49:46.860 You think you'll have any children already?

00:49:48.240 What do you think?

00:49:48.500 No, I had a vasectomy.

00:49:49.360 You did?

00:49:50.080 Yeah.

00:49:50.460 No way.

00:49:51.160 Yeah, I was taking chances.

00:49:52.980 You were.

00:49:53.600 I was taking too many chances.

00:49:54.460 So you were actually trying to have a child?

00:49:56.340 No.

00:49:58.160 What?

00:49:59.340 Sorry, what are you saying then?

00:50:00.860 No, I was just pulling out late.

00:50:02.340 Oh, you were?

00:50:02.920 Yeah.

00:50:03.620 I don't understand how people do that.

00:50:05.100 Like, how do you- I know a lot of black guys like to just do the nut or whatever.

00:50:11.900 Yeah, I mean, the nut is great.

00:50:13.060 I know why they want it.

00:50:14.500 Yeah.

00:50:14.780 The nut's great.

00:50:15.980 Yeah, but it's also great outside of it.

00:50:17.740 It's less great.

00:50:18.760 Is it?

00:50:19.320 What do you mean, is it?

00:50:20.320 Shut up.

00:50:20.640 I've never done it.

00:50:24.960 Yes, you have.

00:50:25.920 I've never ejaculated inside of a woman in my life.

00:50:29.560 Then you haven't lived.

00:50:30.500 Really?

00:50:30.920 What is all this?

00:50:31.560 This is a facade, buddy.

00:50:32.900 Just get what you need to get.

00:50:34.080 None of this is real.

00:50:34.500 We never said we had done it.

00:50:36.180 No, but I mean this.

00:50:37.240 All this is like a fucking- you're just like buying time until you can get a cream pie.

00:50:40.880 This is all just because you've never cream pie-ed.

00:50:43.340 Really?

00:50:43.800 You've got a nut inside, buddy.

00:50:45.500 What do you mean you've never done it?

00:50:46.820 What do you mean you've never cream pie-ed inside of a woman?

00:50:49.220 I've never had in my life.

00:50:50.320 I swear to God.

00:50:51.020 You fucked, though.

00:50:51.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:52.500 Shut up.

00:50:52.860 Oh, yeah.

00:50:54.040 What?

00:50:54.180 But every time I do the-

00:50:58.340 What if she's like, I'm on the pill?

00:51:00.000 Oh, that's- I don't- I barely know her.

00:51:03.660 So I'm not believing that, dude.

00:51:06.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:07.260 You know how many chicks I fucked that said they couldn't get pregnant that I later found

00:51:10.260 out got pregnant from somebody?

00:51:11.480 Really?

00:51:11.800 And I was like, wait, you said- I was blowing loads in you.

00:51:15.380 I'm like, oh, I thought I couldn't.

00:51:16.800 Based on what?

00:51:17.860 Oh, you're in there just like-

00:51:19.220 Like one of the Ghostbusters that's throwing ectoplasm in there.

00:51:22.860 Yeah, he's coating the walls.

00:51:25.280 I was a salad for some other guy's steak.

00:51:27.860 Yeah, I've never done that in my life, man.

00:51:29.480 Well, let me recommend something to you.

00:51:34.560 I'm going to end up being a father.

00:51:35.900 People are always getting- I don't want to be in a lawsuit or something.

00:51:38.440 Find some old chick.

00:51:39.500 Find some post-menopausal chick.

00:51:41.660 Get to me more.

00:51:42.960 I want to get a regular wife that likes to-

00:51:45.780 The last of the Golden Girls died.

00:51:47.020 It's too late for that.

00:51:47.840 Nuh-uh.

00:51:48.200 Yeah.

00:51:48.740 Estelle Getty?

00:51:49.440 No.

00:51:50.220 Maybe.

00:51:50.780 Estelle Getty Museum?

00:51:52.860 No, what was her name?

00:51:53.420 Not sure.

00:51:54.120 Who was the last?

00:51:54.520 No, Estelle Getty.

00:51:55.380 Betty White.

00:51:56.340 Estelle Getty was so-

00:51:57.980 She was old when it started.

00:51:59.420 Right.

00:51:59.680 She was the looker.

00:52:00.500 Rue McClanahan was the one that everybody-

00:52:02.460 My dad kind of had hots for, but-

00:52:03.900 The youngest of the slutty one.

00:52:05.240 Yeah.

00:52:05.760 Blanche Devereaux.

00:52:07.140 God.

00:52:07.980 What a great series.

00:52:09.060 Hot take.

00:52:09.720 Golden Girls is just Sex and the City.

00:52:12.680 Hmm.

00:52:13.560 They're both written by gay men about gay culture.

00:52:16.500 And this one, they made old women play it.

00:52:18.780 And the other one, they made fucking horse-faced chicks play it.

00:52:21.200 Hmm.

00:52:22.960 Do you think they will cure, do you think that being gay will be something that will be eternal

00:52:29.360 or one day that that will be hacked or something?

00:52:31.100 That we can cure it.

00:52:32.520 Or that it will be hacked, you know, that they'll be able to hack the genetics.

00:52:35.520 So-

00:52:35.660 If you were a scientist working on the cure for gay and you were like halfway there, you

00:52:41.860 lost a lot of funding recently.

00:52:44.460 Oh, that's probably true.

00:52:44.920 Yeah, they're probably like, we're not paying, we don't want it anymore.

00:52:49.320 You don't think?

00:52:51.180 That's a small segment of the population, like, we got to cure this.

00:52:54.860 Everyone else is just like, who cares?

00:52:56.760 Oh, I think most people are like, who cares?

00:52:57.940 But I just mean, maybe cure is not the right word, right?

00:53:00.360 Do you think that they would, do you think that they'll ever-

00:53:02.580 A vaccine.

00:53:03.640 Vaccine, yeah.

00:53:04.140 So you won't ever get it in the first place.

00:53:05.980 Right, yeah.

00:53:06.340 Get a kid when he's two.

00:53:07.520 Didn't they say vaccines made kids gay?

00:53:09.900 Wasn't that a rumor for a while?

00:53:11.040 Well, I don't know, we're going to find out soon if Bobby Kennedy gets in there.

00:53:15.060 Yeah.

00:53:15.740 So wild.

00:53:16.380 Say no gay kids after a while, like, I ended vaccines.

00:53:19.300 Who knows?

00:53:19.780 So all the stuff he says, people are like, that's ridiculous.

00:53:21.480 I'm like, really?

00:53:21.980 I don't even know the words he's using.

00:53:23.380 Yeah.

00:53:24.200 He's smarter than me.

00:53:25.520 I don't know shit.

00:53:27.140 I don't even know the earth is round.

00:53:28.500 I'm just guessing.

00:53:29.380 The latest viral COVID-19 conspiracy theory boosted by QAnon falsely claims vaccines turn children

00:53:34.600 gay or trans.

00:53:35.880 Wow, I didn't know that.

00:53:37.700 And that's a false allegation that COVID-19.

00:53:41.620 Yeah, I mean, a lot of kids, I will say, seem very gay, though.

00:53:46.720 Do you notice that?

00:53:47.700 Like, if you talk to like a-

00:53:48.740 They're post-gender.

00:53:49.780 Is it?

00:53:50.200 Yeah, they don't care.

00:53:51.120 The man can wear a dress like you cross-dressing.

00:53:53.460 They're like, what?

00:53:54.860 When I grew up, you couldn't wear pink as a dude.

00:53:56.960 You'd be ostracized.

00:53:57.900 Now, there's no gay color.

00:54:01.380 That's where we're past that.

00:54:02.160 So those kids are past that shit.

00:54:03.420 They're wearing top hats and skirts.

00:54:05.340 It doesn't matter.

00:54:05.980 It just doesn't matter.

00:54:06.900 Okay.

00:54:07.540 Yeah.

00:54:07.940 So, yeah, we see them as gay, but they're like, oh.

00:54:11.020 Dude, we're not even using those terms.

00:54:12.480 Yeah, you're from a different universe.

00:54:13.500 Yeah, that's why.

00:54:13.920 You go to the Bushwick or something, and you're like, oh, this is the cutting-edge kids.

00:54:18.420 I've heard rumors that a lot of Haitians moved over in there to the parks and stuff,

00:54:22.120 and were selling sex and stuff like that.

00:54:24.400 Have you seen any of that over there?

00:54:26.440 Hookers in Bushwick?

00:54:27.380 Yeah.

00:54:28.060 In the parks over there.

00:54:30.100 Selling their bodies?

00:54:31.480 Yeah, they were selling sex and oral sex over there.

00:54:35.720 I mean, Haitian.

00:54:36.500 That's not who you'd want.

00:54:39.720 I mean, who you want is who you want.

00:54:41.060 I guess it's the, I don't know what the pace and the rate is.

00:54:43.260 It's just a bunch of dark black, very thin hookers.

00:54:48.020 I'll check it out.

00:54:48.660 I haven't heard anything about that.

00:54:50.040 Yeah.

00:54:50.300 One of my friends was telling me there's a lot of hookering going on over there in some of the parks.

00:54:53.540 Haitian hookering.

00:54:54.760 I think they said Haitian.

00:54:55.860 I would have to ask them.

00:54:56.580 You know what there is, though?

00:54:57.340 For real, for real?

00:54:58.560 Casual hooking.

00:54:59.600 Really?

00:55:00.100 Like, chicks who do it, like, three times a year.

00:55:03.320 Housewives.

00:55:04.240 Regular chicks who are, like, for a little extra cash, I'll hook.

00:55:06.140 Like, what do you mean?

00:55:07.020 I mean, like, oh, your friend seems cute.

00:55:09.540 And it's like, hey, my friend's cute.

00:55:10.960 She likes you.

00:55:11.480 Would you be into it for, like, a couple hundred bucks?

00:55:14.280 And you're like, oh, no.

00:55:16.400 In New York?

00:55:17.240 Yeah.

00:55:18.020 Huh.

00:55:18.420 Regular chicks just occasionally, like, yeah, I'll fuck for money.

00:55:21.280 The guy seems cool.

00:55:22.700 They're not going to, like, on the street taking all callers.

00:55:26.060 But, like, occasionally for extra cash.

00:55:27.300 Instead of driving an Uber.

00:55:28.580 Do they tell the husband?

00:55:29.940 I don't think so.

00:55:32.400 Possibly.

00:55:32.800 I don't know everybody's situation.

00:55:34.740 Would you?

00:55:35.480 Is there a thing where people let?

00:55:36.800 Do you think the Obamas are still together, for real?

00:55:38.920 That's a great question.

00:55:40.180 You think the Clintons are?

00:55:41.860 No.

00:55:42.240 No, right?

00:55:42.780 So it's a possibility that there are such things as sham marriages.

00:55:46.860 Yeah.

00:55:47.920 For sure.

00:55:48.160 I wonder.

00:55:49.400 She didn't show up to the Carter funeral.

00:55:51.880 She didn't show up to the inauguration.

00:55:53.280 I could see, like, hey, I never wanted to be in the public eye like this.

00:55:56.180 Yeah.

00:55:56.440 I just wanted a ball.

00:55:57.820 Yeah.

00:55:58.160 I just wanted to dunk on these bitches.

00:55:59.820 Yeah.

00:56:00.080 That's it.

00:56:00.740 Yeah.

00:56:01.880 That could be it, you know?

00:56:03.600 Yeah.

00:56:04.720 Yeah.

00:56:05.440 It's a good question.

00:56:06.260 That whole inauguration thing was just such a game.

00:56:08.460 You went.

00:56:09.220 Yeah.

00:56:09.480 I had total Game of Thrones energy over there.

00:56:11.540 What did you think?

00:56:12.180 Because that's not you.

00:56:13.260 Oh, not at all.

00:56:13.900 You were going there the way I go to Comic-Con.

00:56:15.820 Yeah.

00:56:16.200 I'll just stare at everybody.

00:56:17.600 I'm like, I don't know.

00:56:18.700 What's Spider-Man?

00:56:19.360 Oh, I was like, I should not be here.

00:56:21.280 You should not be there.

00:56:22.420 That's how I felt.

00:56:23.460 At least you're not doing the endorsing thing.

00:56:25.800 Yeah.

00:56:26.260 That a lot of comics are doing.

00:56:27.380 I thought we were supposed to just make fun of everyone in power.

00:56:28.980 Do you feel like it was weird that people were endorsing?

00:56:31.940 Endorsing?

00:56:32.420 Who's endorsing?

00:56:33.800 Yeah.

00:56:33.980 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:56:35.300 You have a literal sports team you root for.

00:56:38.300 You don't endorse Tottenham.

00:56:39.800 Yeah.

00:56:41.000 Like, it was so wild.

00:56:42.860 But all right, he's in power now, so let's see everybody go after him.

00:56:46.560 Well, I think a lot of people were endorsing.

00:56:50.200 Just make fun of all of them.

00:56:52.080 Yeah.

00:56:52.600 It seemed weird.

00:56:55.800 Well, I think the biggest thing that seemed like it's been on the table for me is just the free speech stuff.

00:56:59.560 You start to worry about, like a lot of these social media companies, limiting speech, limiting what's possible.

00:57:05.320 It affects me, for sure.

00:57:06.720 Yeah?

00:57:06.920 For sure.

00:57:07.440 So if somebody's like, hey, I want to do this, I'm like, great.

00:57:09.080 I love it.

00:57:09.960 You know, I also loved when Trump gave us all 600 bucks during the pandemic.

00:57:12.840 He got everybody really partied in New York.

00:57:14.540 Love that.

00:57:16.440 Do you worry about, yeah, but I'm not going to get involved in getting it there.

00:57:19.940 But then some of these guys have a lot of influence, to be honest.

00:57:22.180 But also, they're like, how can you have this guy on your podcast?

00:57:24.360 I'm like, I'll have everybody on.

00:57:26.080 I had Tucker Carlson on my podcast, the travel one.

00:57:28.500 We just talked about travel.

00:57:29.720 People are like, why didn't you call him on his shit?

00:57:30.920 I'm like, was he lying about the UAE?

00:57:32.640 That's all I care about.

00:57:33.720 Right.

00:57:34.000 The travel part.

00:57:35.360 I don't want to get involved in this.

00:57:37.560 So I get that part of it.

00:57:39.080 Like, somebody seems interesting.

00:57:40.640 A former president.

00:57:41.680 I'll have him on a podcast.

00:57:42.920 Oh, in a heartbeat.

00:57:43.860 Yeah.

00:57:44.080 People gave me grief for going to the inauguration.

00:57:47.200 Inauguration.

00:57:47.580 I was like, dude, you don't think I'm going to.

00:57:48.500 But if you got invited to the, I don't know, Bush inauguration, or the Obama one, or the

00:57:53.060 Reagan one, you would have gone?

00:57:54.160 Yeah, I would have gone.

00:57:54.780 It's like, I'm not political.

00:57:56.300 I got invited to the presidential inauguration.

00:57:58.080 Yeah, it's like, how am I not going to go to an inauguration?

00:57:59.560 I have no idea.

00:58:00.880 What if it's not even real and there's video?

00:58:02.900 They're just, it's the moon landing.

00:58:04.820 Who knows?

00:58:05.940 You know, so I went and at least saw like, okay.

00:58:08.160 So what was everybody doing?

00:58:09.620 Did it feel like powerful?

00:58:11.360 Did it feel like these guys are deciding fates?

00:58:14.520 Or was it just like the Oscars where they're all like glad-handing each other and celebrating

00:58:17.840 success?

00:58:18.220 I guess I didn't get to be there long enough.

00:58:21.980 Was there food?

00:58:23.260 There was, at the ball, the food was not good.

00:58:28.780 That fucking broke my heart.

00:58:30.320 What do you mean?

00:58:31.100 Tony was there.

00:58:31.880 He's like, we did it.

00:58:33.480 And I'm like, the food isn't good, Tony.

00:58:35.820 We didn't.

00:58:36.540 We still have room.

00:58:37.920 What do you mean the food wasn't good?

00:58:39.460 It wasn't that good.

00:58:40.020 And then it only had like 30 chairs in this whole ballroom.

00:58:42.160 And there was probably 1,500 people in there.

00:58:44.900 30 chairs?

00:58:45.820 That's like my house.

00:58:46.640 I have four chairs and I have eight people over.

00:58:48.400 And it's like, we're sitting on Amazon boxes.

00:58:51.420 So that was the most hectic part.

00:58:53.160 But yeah, just to be there, to be in Washington, D.C., to see that happen, for sure.

00:58:56.660 I was like, fuck you.

00:58:57.760 I'm going.

00:58:58.240 I would never be weird.

00:58:59.540 I would never think it was weird if anybody went.

00:59:01.000 Is that you there?

00:59:01.660 No, but pull those people back up.

00:59:02.840 So this was the part that was fascinating to me.

00:59:05.040 These were, this was.

00:59:07.160 These are the guys deciding our fates.

00:59:08.560 Who's the brown in the middle?

00:59:09.780 This is the olijarchi right here.

00:59:11.520 Sundar Pichai from Google.

00:59:13.960 So he owns Google?

00:59:15.520 So these guys all decide how we think about the world.

00:59:18.860 These one, two, three.

00:59:21.040 One guy, the chick I'm assuming is cleaning the knob of the other one.

00:59:25.180 There's Zuckerberg.

00:59:26.400 Yeah.

00:59:26.660 Zuckerberg is the most evil of all of them.

00:59:28.560 You think?

00:59:29.060 Yeah.

00:59:29.760 Because I think he was like cigarettes where they didn't know what they were doing.

00:59:33.240 And then when they found out.

00:59:34.560 So there's no problem.

00:59:35.260 They're just giving cigarettes.

00:59:35.880 They didn't know it caused cancer.

00:59:36.740 Then they found out it caused cancer.

00:59:38.100 And they go, hide that shit.

00:59:39.740 Right.

00:59:40.360 Zuckerberg at first was like, I don't know.

00:59:41.600 I just, I'm too autistic to have interactions.

00:59:43.120 So I want to see a world where we don't have to meet eye to eye.

00:59:45.480 And now he goes.

00:59:47.020 Yeah.

00:59:47.340 He made us live like autistic people.

00:59:51.060 But then he found out that we're all fucking turning on each other and cutting off our

00:59:54.460 uncles.

00:59:55.180 And he goes, yeah, keep pushing it.

00:59:56.840 I think he should be up.

00:59:58.560 Wow.

00:59:58.860 I think he should at least be his company taken away from him and it should be shut down.

01:00:02.760 Facebook and Instagram should be shut down.

01:00:04.760 Push the button.

01:00:05.520 Well, it's like.

01:00:06.720 It's not making our society better.

01:00:08.260 Well, I agree with that.

01:00:09.520 But say I'll say that type of thing.

01:00:11.200 People will be like, well, a government can't decide what can and can't make their society

01:00:15.320 better.

01:00:15.700 Right?

01:00:16.180 I think they can.

01:00:17.760 I think that it might be abuse.

01:00:19.480 But at some point it's like, this is too much bad.

01:00:21.880 Right.

01:00:22.360 Well, I feel the same way about porn, about porn channels, you know?

01:00:24.880 Yeah.

01:00:25.060 Or like, let's have some oversight.

01:00:26.540 Oh, yeah.

01:00:26.900 Porn too.

01:00:27.400 It's like it's nonstop.

01:00:28.280 Like you can't like push porn to kids.

01:00:30.420 Right.

01:00:30.840 They had to stop making THC gummies that are in the shape of clowns because like, hey,

01:00:35.580 we're not actually giving these to five year olds and you're kind of marketing to five

01:00:38.360 year olds.

01:00:38.780 Yeah.

01:00:39.080 They had to stop putting.

01:00:39.720 Steve Simone was eating all of them, too.

01:00:43.900 This is a Steve Simone joke.

01:00:45.200 Love you, buddy.

01:00:46.080 They had to.

01:00:46.820 Yeah.

01:00:47.180 There he goes.

01:00:47.900 Look, he's always smiling.

01:00:48.900 I know.

01:00:49.840 Where are the bodies?

01:00:52.160 Yeah.

01:00:52.640 He's our Gacy.

01:00:54.420 He's our John Wayne Gacy.

01:00:56.300 Wow.

01:00:57.320 On the surface.

01:00:58.060 That's insane to say that.

01:00:59.260 A kind man.

01:01:00.040 I joke.

01:01:00.600 He's the sweetest guys.

01:01:02.180 He is.

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01:04:07.880 Yeah, I think it's like really bad in that you're doing it.

01:04:10.260 You can't just put in like additives into fucking baby formula.

01:04:13.980 But why do we keep doing it?

01:04:14.880 Why do we keep building stuff that's bad?

01:04:16.380 But if people say, well, if your government says you can't, then that's like a form of

01:04:20.820 communism, right?

01:04:21.640 Like your government says you can't have this and you can't have it because we shouldn't

01:04:24.920 have, I mean, we just had a woman on, we're talking about Pornhub and extremely high percentage

01:04:31.060 of their content was totally unregulated.

01:04:32.840 So they had rapes on there.

01:04:35.500 They had unconsensual sex.

01:04:36.780 They had sex with minors.

01:04:37.780 They had sex with babies on there, on Pornhub, on the website.

01:04:41.320 But their whole goal was just to have as much content as they could have because then they

01:04:45.100 sell more advertising dollars because like, well, we have this many URLs.

01:04:49.000 We have this many links that people can go to.

01:04:51.140 So they were selling in bulk, but they didn't have anybody or they had very few people moderating

01:04:56.180 any of the content that came through.

01:04:57.740 Yeah, so we have some laws, right?

01:04:58.820 You can't blast music at parks.

01:05:00.840 Right.

01:05:01.100 Because like, oh, this is kind of infringing on other people's like rights sort of here.

01:05:04.280 You know, there's a privacy.

01:05:05.520 It's quiet.

01:05:06.540 So there's some regulation.

01:05:07.640 I don't understand all this.

01:05:08.420 I don't know what the line is from socialism or not.

01:05:10.240 I don't get any of that.

01:05:10.920 It's not my thing.

01:05:12.420 I just know like this is really hurting us as a society and nobody's doing anything

01:05:16.880 about it.

01:05:18.100 You can't sell guns on a street corner just to anybody.

01:05:20.920 Right.

01:05:21.420 And it's like, well, if it was bad for you, you wouldn't do it.

01:05:23.860 Like, nah, you need someone to step in.

01:05:26.160 Like, that's not as a society.

01:05:27.500 Like, that's not allowed.

01:05:28.560 You're making us hate our brothers and friends and shit.

01:05:31.960 Yeah.

01:05:32.900 See, the world is a terrible place.

01:05:34.500 We didn't sign up for that.

01:05:35.440 I don't I don't like it.

01:05:37.040 Twitter does that a lot.

01:05:38.160 I noticed Twitter definitely can be a place where you can really get

01:05:40.800 trapped in there.

01:05:41.420 Do you notice that, Nick, you think?

01:05:43.320 Yeah.

01:05:43.760 Wake up in the morning and just piss myself off by reading.

01:05:46.140 Yeah.

01:05:46.440 And start angry.

01:05:47.720 It's not a good way to start.

01:05:48.720 Right.

01:05:48.980 You've been on the beach when you start like pleasant.

01:05:51.100 You know, it's a better feeling when you're at the beach than you're on Twitter

01:05:54.740 showing you what's to be mad about.

01:05:56.760 Yeah.

01:05:56.940 There was a guy who used to work in Google to see which of the things had to go to the

01:06:01.340 dark web and which were allowed.

01:06:03.220 So his whole day was spent looking at snuff films and fucking car crashes and and like

01:06:08.480 child endangerment and stuff like that.

01:06:10.280 Every one of those guys had to go to therapy for the rest of their lives.

01:06:12.880 Yeah.

01:06:13.340 Because you're not supposed to see that stuff.

01:06:15.380 And we're seeing like versions of that.

01:06:16.960 I hate it.

01:06:17.700 I hate it.

01:06:18.940 God, let's let's draw on quarter Mark Zuckerberg.

01:06:21.440 I mean, I mean, I don't think we should do.

01:06:25.340 I don't know what we should do.

01:06:26.740 But is it just him, though?

01:06:29.220 Like it's must do.

01:06:30.820 It's anybody who now knows what you're doing to society and you're not doing anything

01:06:33.500 about it.

01:06:33.840 You actually have the power to stop it and you're not doing it.

01:06:37.020 Right.

01:06:37.280 So like, fuck off.

01:06:38.740 Well, that's the same thing that I noticed with this woman talking about with

01:06:40.940 porn up.

01:06:41.300 It was like they would bring up these cases.

01:06:43.260 There were cases of people who had been raped and their footage uploaded.

01:06:46.120 Right.

01:06:46.440 Oh, my God.

01:06:47.360 Oh.

01:06:47.640 And you can't just go.

01:06:48.420 What?

01:06:48.700 It's an open source thing.

01:06:49.600 Like, no, no, you're facilitating.

01:06:51.160 Right.

01:06:51.840 Right.

01:06:52.120 That's the thing.

01:06:52.620 People are like, well, we and they at one point she said they only had one moderator

01:06:56.140 who would spend and something had to be flagged like 15 times before it even comes in.

01:07:00.860 Before it even comes into the moderation.

01:07:02.060 You're already fucked over.

01:07:03.040 And the moderation queue would be like hundreds of thousands of videos long that they have

01:07:05.980 to sit there.

01:07:06.500 And then there's just one person deciding.

01:07:08.440 Yeah.

01:07:09.180 Adult, not adult, consensual, not consensual.

01:07:11.440 The problem is you start with like they need to have some oversight.

01:07:13.440 They're going to go too far.

01:07:14.400 Yeah.

01:07:14.800 And they're going to make like, well, this joke they had about who's on top.

01:07:17.380 We can't have that.

01:07:17.960 That's not our society wants that.

01:07:19.340 You're like, that's too far.

01:07:20.460 And I don't know what it is.

01:07:21.920 You can't trust the government to regulate.

01:07:23.420 I don't know what the answer is, but right now it ain't working.

01:07:25.460 Well, and then you wonder, is human society supposed to have this success story or is it

01:07:34.380 a unsuccessful experiment or is it just it is?

01:07:39.240 It's like pharmaceuticals had to be regulated.

01:07:40.700 You can't just give everyone side effects.

01:07:43.220 You have to like, you have to show your side effects.

01:07:45.260 And it barely is.

01:07:46.840 Right.

01:07:47.280 But you have to show your side effects.

01:07:49.120 You have to go.

01:07:49.460 And then there's a problem at the end.

01:07:52.160 Yeah.

01:07:52.420 Yeah.

01:07:52.800 You have to at least do something.

01:07:54.480 But then it's like I think people have lost total faith that their country is going to

01:07:57.420 do a lot.

01:07:57.920 They're not going to do shit.

01:07:59.040 They're not going to do shit.

01:08:00.000 Right.

01:08:00.360 They're just going to let it go.

01:08:01.440 You go to another country, you eat like garbage for a week and you lose seven pounds.

01:08:05.300 You're like, how's this?

01:08:06.700 Oh, there's not that many chemicals in other countries and shit.

01:08:09.580 Right.

01:08:10.820 But I think like, I mean, we talk about a lot in here like with the Sackler family, the

01:08:15.080 company that made all the drugs and they.

01:08:16.960 God damn.

01:08:17.280 And they're still.

01:08:18.240 Still alive.

01:08:19.120 And they're still pushing it to people.

01:08:20.440 You should do Oxy.

01:08:21.660 You should get on Oxy for pain.

01:08:23.200 My dad had to get on something.

01:08:24.460 I go, don't take that.

01:08:25.600 Take ibuprofen.

01:08:26.980 Don't take.

01:08:27.360 You can't.

01:08:27.760 If you get hooked on it, you can't kick it.

01:08:29.700 They're still selling Oxycontin?

01:08:31.080 Oh, yeah.

01:08:31.440 They're still put.

01:08:31.860 The doctor's still pushing it.

01:08:33.220 They're incentivized to financially.

01:08:35.440 How?

01:08:35.800 Who's even making money?

01:08:36.600 Is it just to go back to pay for like to for?

01:08:40.300 Victims?

01:08:41.780 Oh, they're not paying those bills.

01:08:43.800 Those fines.

01:08:44.680 They're not paying those.

01:08:45.980 Really?

01:08:46.380 Yeah.

01:08:46.560 Same thing with PG&E.

01:08:47.600 All the forest fires, half of them are caused by PG&E not doing the safety measures.

01:08:52.480 Look at how many forest fires in California are started by the utilities.

01:08:55.480 Hold on.

01:08:55.880 Let's get this really quick.

01:08:58.180 Purdue Pharma Sackler families boost contribution in opioid settlement to 7.4 billion.

01:09:03.380 The company and the once prominent family behind the drug Oxycontin agreed Thursday to

01:09:08.240 increase their financial contribution to resolve mass opioid litigation.

01:09:12.100 The Sackler's and Purdue Pharma boosted their settlement contribution to 7.4 billion.

01:09:15.740 If approved, the new plan would end the costliest corporate bankruptcy resulting from the U.S. opioid crisis.

01:09:20.360 So that's 7.4 billion over the next 15 years.

01:09:22.840 How much should they make a year?

01:09:24.540 Go back.

01:09:25.180 This is the same thing as like a-

01:09:26.700 Scroll, scroll.

01:09:27.080 Under the new settlement, the terms of Sackler's control of Purdue Pharma ends, the 7.4 billion-

01:09:33.440 Oh, they have to give up the company.

01:09:34.480 Will go directly to communities across the U.S., including states, counties, cities, and territories over the next 15 years.

01:09:39.460 Well, that's good.

01:09:40.480 That's good.

01:09:41.220 But even this headline is like, oh, they decided to boost their contribution to the lawsuit.

01:09:47.060 Yeah.

01:09:47.380 Even though they killed hundreds of thousands of people.

01:09:49.840 Yeah, all the Gulf oil spills, they paid this big fine.

01:09:53.320 It was still less money than it would have been to do the safety measures.

01:09:56.320 Right.

01:09:56.900 So they're like, it seems like a big number, but not compared to what they're making.

01:10:01.040 You know?

01:10:01.360 There was a time when if I got a parking ticket, it would break me.

01:10:04.020 Oh, yeah.

01:10:04.600 And now I've seen rich people like, I'll park here.

01:10:06.920 It's like a little park.

01:10:07.520 It's like, oh, it's fine.

01:10:08.600 I'll just park here.

01:10:09.120 Yeah, it's fine.

01:10:09.580 If somebody takes a car, I'll just buy a new car.

01:10:11.840 Yeah, Chris Rock, instead of pulling into the lot, would just park in front.

01:10:15.560 And they're like, they might give you a ticket.

01:10:16.700 He goes, I don't care.

01:10:17.940 Yeah.

01:10:18.180 It's $80.

01:10:18.600 And I'm a millionaire.

01:10:20.360 He doesn't care.

01:10:21.680 It's not going to de-incentivize him.

01:10:24.940 Yeah, I mean, it just-

01:10:25.600 Oh, look at this.

01:10:25.900 So this is a wildfire.

01:10:26.900 It's caused by power lines.

01:10:28.540 Okay, so why are we looking at this?

01:10:30.080 I'm saying like, they're supposed to worry about safety measures.

01:10:34.220 They don't.

01:10:34.880 We fine them.

01:10:35.580 They don't pay the fines.

01:10:37.720 Look at all those fires caused by that.

01:10:40.980 And then they just don't do anything.

01:10:42.660 Because they know, what are you going to do?

01:10:44.040 Not use us?

01:10:45.080 You could all be like in the dark for your fucking years?

01:10:47.400 Yeah, what are you going to do, is a candle?

01:10:49.580 Hundreds of forest fires.

01:10:51.320 Maybe thousands by PG&E.

01:10:53.380 And they won't do shit.

01:10:54.920 So that's the government that's not doing shit.

01:10:56.860 It's like, why even pay attention to any of it?

01:10:59.340 Yeah, what are you going to be?

01:11:00.340 You're just going to use Yankee candles all day?

01:11:02.560 Fucking.

01:11:04.100 Dude, some of the candle smells have gotten crazy.

01:11:06.500 It's really upping it.

01:11:07.540 That's what makes you hopeful.

01:11:08.740 Yeah.

01:11:08.880 The candle game.

01:11:10.300 It's bar none.

01:11:11.060 There's shapes and everything.

01:11:12.340 I saw a candle dick in Washington Square Park.

01:11:14.340 Really?

01:11:14.620 And they lit it up?

01:11:15.340 Yeah.

01:11:15.740 No, you can.

01:11:16.660 Oh.

01:11:17.260 But I don't know what the smell is.

01:11:18.320 I never lit it up.

01:11:18.960 I have one, though, in my house.

01:11:19.960 I'm good.

01:11:20.880 Yeah.

01:11:21.220 They have some video of a guy trying to smoke his own dick or whatever.

01:11:23.660 He's laying on his back, pulled his nut, like brought his legs over his head, tried

01:11:27.700 to put his penis in his mouth and tried to light his nuts like he was like in a bowl

01:11:30.680 of weed.

01:11:32.060 How do you do?

01:11:32.840 Huh?

01:11:33.200 How do you do?

01:11:33.840 The video cuts off early.

01:11:36.120 But just unreal behavior.

01:11:38.700 Yeah.

01:11:39.160 You know what I'm saying?

01:11:41.120 That's one vote for Trump right there.

01:11:42.960 Did you get to say anything to him?

01:11:44.140 Like, you should take care of this?

01:11:45.440 Is it Trump?

01:11:46.320 Yeah.

01:11:46.560 I always have this dream.

01:11:47.460 Like, there's an outside possibility I can run into him.

01:11:50.220 Oh, yeah.

01:11:50.880 It's an outside possibility.

01:11:51.840 And I'm like, if we all get to be like, hey, I just want two things to do, what would

01:11:58.740 you hit him with?

01:11:59.540 Two things to do in the world?

01:12:01.000 Yeah.

01:12:01.540 In America, anything.

01:12:02.340 I would probably say sentence the Sackler family to death, I think.

01:12:06.680 I like it.

01:12:07.260 That would be probably my favorite thing.

01:12:08.280 And that would put other people like, I mean, you grew up in a town that's fucked by this.

01:12:13.820 Well, yeah.

01:12:14.360 Most of America.

01:12:15.580 I mean, just the AA rooms alone, you see so many more people that aren't alcoholics.

01:12:19.300 They're opioid addicts.

01:12:20.980 From pain relief straight to heroin.

01:12:22.680 And it's a different thing.

01:12:23.980 It's like the AA program helps them, but it does.

01:12:26.420 It's not the same.

01:12:27.100 It's like these people, their database has been compromised and altered.

01:12:33.980 I don't know.

01:12:35.100 Can opioids affect your genetic makeup over time?

01:12:37.480 Can they alter?

01:12:38.600 Lose teeth.

01:12:39.480 Your DNA?

01:12:40.400 Yeah.

01:12:40.520 They can definitely alter your body.

01:12:42.380 Your grill is affected by sure.

01:12:44.160 Your grin.

01:12:44.820 But yeah, yes, opioids can alter DNA, which may contribute to opioid use disorder, these

01:12:52.120 changes.

01:12:52.780 So then you're not even talking to a human, then.

01:12:55.060 You're dealing with someone who's been compromised by a drug.

01:12:57.620 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:57.920 They're not people anymore.

01:12:59.360 And why is this not being talked about all the time?

01:13:01.340 Every city in America, Democrat and Republican are failing under this.

01:13:05.120 And no one's doing shit about it.

01:13:07.460 That's not even what I'd tell them.

01:13:08.860 At least they stopped them from doing it.

01:13:10.420 But now they have another new anti...

01:13:12.340 What's that?

01:13:12.680 There's a new opioid I just saw that they were putting up.

01:13:14.660 But Pravis Proc...

01:13:16.260 You think they just rebranded and came back?

01:13:18.680 Like a college bar that gets busted for underage.

01:13:20.700 And they go, it's a new name now.

01:13:22.460 It's my brother runs it.

01:13:23.540 It's a new company.

01:13:25.580 Oh, that's the best, dude.

01:13:26.920 That's the best.

01:13:27.400 Bro, when I was in college, they had this group of gay fellas that would come and they'd

01:13:30.880 fist fight.

01:13:31.460 It was called...

01:13:32.700 I've said it before.

01:13:33.720 We'll beep this part out.

01:13:34.980 But it's called F***ing Fist Fights, right?

01:13:36.720 And it was their company.

01:13:37.880 They came.

01:13:38.940 It was...

01:13:39.600 Gay men would come.

01:13:40.680 You'd pay five bucks.

01:13:41.620 Go there.

01:13:42.040 You'd get a beer.

01:13:42.580 And you'd get to watch fights.

01:13:43.360 And they would beat the living shit out of each other, dude.

01:13:46.960 Wow.

01:13:48.020 Pretty cool.

01:13:49.280 In Texas, they have a bunch of midget wrestling.

01:13:51.420 Yeah.

01:13:52.000 And it's just like signs for it.

01:13:53.500 It's not like a hidden back room thing.

01:13:55.740 Yeah.

01:13:57.380 It's a cockfighting of the...

01:13:59.280 Have you ever been to a cockfight?

01:14:00.340 Have you ever been to a cockfight?

01:14:01.440 No.

01:14:01.920 But there is midget versus rooster or whatever.

01:14:05.680 Oh.

01:14:06.160 Right near the border.

01:14:06.840 How about midget versus gay?

01:14:08.320 We got to make odds on all these things.

01:14:10.240 Three midgets, two gays.

01:14:11.500 You know, what's the, like, over-under?

01:14:13.440 Ooh.

01:14:13.880 Three midgets versus two gays?

01:14:15.440 And then what kind of gays are we talking about?

01:14:16.980 Is it, like, luck of the draw?

01:14:19.000 Yeah.

01:14:19.240 Are you talking Ariana Grande fans?

01:14:20.820 Or are you talking, like, hardcore?

01:14:25.100 Mateo can take somebody.

01:14:26.660 Oh, yeah.

01:14:27.300 He's strong enough.

01:14:27.620 He's very strong.

01:14:28.280 Yeah.

01:14:28.440 But can he fight?

01:14:29.920 And can he fight down?

01:14:32.260 I bet he could.

01:14:32.840 You got to be able to overcut.

01:14:34.060 I think he auditioned for Newsies and got pretty far.

01:14:36.760 So I bet he could.

01:14:40.460 Dude, don't pick that fight.

01:14:41.740 You're not going to win that.

01:14:42.600 Oh.

01:14:43.000 Yeah, you're going to win this fucking.

01:14:45.740 Is that Carlos Mencia?

01:14:47.960 Why does he dress like Carlos Mencia?

01:14:49.500 Is that crazy to say that?

01:14:50.700 It looks a little like Shane in the face.

01:14:52.680 He's dressed like Mencia.

01:14:54.420 And he's got a face like Shane.

01:14:56.480 Shane Gillis?

01:14:57.400 Yeah.

01:14:57.700 How can you even see that's in eight pixels?

01:15:00.520 Wait, when he turns.

01:15:01.420 When he turns.

01:15:01.620 Let me see when he turns.

01:15:02.540 Pause it when he turns and we see his face.

01:15:04.140 There.

01:15:05.340 That's Shane, bro.

01:15:06.340 That's Shane, bro.

01:15:07.640 That's Shane, bro.

01:15:08.580 He's one of my friends.

01:15:09.360 That's Shane.

01:15:10.440 Tell me it's not.

01:15:11.460 That is a little bit.

01:15:13.780 Okay.

01:15:17.220 Love that chicken for five miles.

01:15:19.540 That's her new commercial right there.

01:15:21.440 Oh, man.

01:15:24.580 That's him.

01:15:27.700 Wow, that's great, dude.

01:15:29.660 He's wearing an eagle's hat.

01:15:31.020 That is so great.

01:15:33.800 Oh, that's great.

01:15:35.840 What were we just talking?

01:15:37.620 Oh, but what's the new drug?

01:15:38.800 You see it, Nick?

01:15:39.980 This is a non-opioid that was just.

01:15:42.040 Yeah, there we go.

01:15:42.680 FDA approves novel non-opioid treatment for moderate to severe acute pain.

01:15:46.140 Yeah, that's what they need.

01:15:47.040 Yeah, this just happened.

01:15:48.300 Journavix, J-O-U-R-N-A-V-X, is the first drug to be approved in this new class of pain management medicines.

01:15:53.940 50 milligram oral tablets, a first in-class non-opioid analgesic to treat moderate to severe acute pain in adults.

01:16:02.180 But wouldn't you just get addicted using this?

01:16:04.260 But does that mean you don't?

01:16:04.920 But it's non-opioid.

01:16:05.540 Maybe it's not addictive.

01:16:06.940 That's what I'm wondering.

01:16:08.020 Do you not feel?

01:16:09.620 Like melatonin, you know, what helps you go to sleep?

01:16:11.520 Not melatonin.

01:16:12.180 Melatonin?

01:16:12.760 Yeah.

01:16:13.200 But then, like, sleeping pills will become addictive.

01:16:15.480 Melatonin is, like, it's fine.

01:16:17.420 So there's not opioids in here?

01:16:19.680 What the fuck's an opioid, too?

01:16:22.440 Targeting a pain signaling pathway.

01:16:24.000 So unlike opioids, which act on receptors in the brain, Journavix works by targeting a pain signaling pathway involving sodium channels in the peripheral nervous system.

01:16:34.500 A lot of words I didn't know in that.

01:16:36.020 Yeah.

01:16:36.500 Blocking pain signals before they reach the brain.

01:16:39.180 So it's stopping the signals instead of the receptors in the brain.

01:16:43.720 Oh, there's, like, the difference between LimeWire and Napster.

01:16:45.900 Yeah.

01:16:46.220 It's, like, pretty much the same, but it works different.

01:16:48.100 Yeah.

01:16:49.100 That's a good comparison.

01:16:50.880 Thanks.

01:16:51.480 Evidence of non-addictive properties.

01:16:53.380 Clinical data showed no evidence of withdrawal or drug-seeking behaviors in patients.

01:16:57.960 That's it.

01:16:58.780 Right.

01:16:59.760 The drug does not activate opioid receptors or induce euphoria.

01:17:03.040 Oh.

01:17:03.520 Well, they said the thing with oxycodone, oxycodone, whatever, was that they were like, well, what about getting off it?

01:17:08.620 Like, we haven't seen any problem with that.

01:17:10.520 And they go, did you test for that?

01:17:12.160 And they go, no, we did not.

01:17:15.000 And so it's like, how do you know how hard it is to withdraw?

01:17:16.760 You've never tested it.

01:17:18.600 Meanwhile, people are just fucking sleeping in fucking baby beds and shit.

01:17:22.360 God, those leanbacks are fucking crazy right now.

01:17:25.480 Opioids are a class of drugs that interact with opioid receptors in the brain and body to reduce pain perception and produce various effects.

01:17:31.680 They can be natural, semi-synthetic, or synthetic chemicals.

01:17:34.660 There you go.

01:17:38.120 Well, I don't know.

01:17:39.540 But, yeah, they got to do something.

01:17:40.900 That's a good one to tell them.

01:17:41.920 Yeah.

01:17:42.540 Kick the hecklers.

01:17:43.560 Because once you kick them, the rest are going to be like, eh, let's get approval for this first.

01:17:47.420 Yeah, people will start to, I think, be a little bit unnoticed.

01:17:49.440 There will be some sort of – yeah, because they're serial killers.

01:17:52.580 I don't understand how they were not –

01:17:54.300 They're serial killers.

01:17:55.260 They're mass murderers.

01:17:56.460 And they go, well, it's a company.

01:17:57.840 Yeah.

01:17:58.020 You know what they did in China?

01:17:59.660 They were testing for purity for baby formula.

01:18:03.000 And so one company put an additive in to make it test pure to go from, like, 96 to 99.

01:18:09.000 But that additive ended up killing 12 babies.

01:18:12.100 Oh.

01:18:12.960 Yeah.

01:18:13.960 And the government found out.

01:18:15.660 There's no bureaucracy there.

01:18:17.140 They hung the board.

01:18:18.500 Wow.

01:18:19.260 The whole board.

01:18:20.280 And they're like, no, the company has –

01:18:21.460 No, you guys killed babies.

01:18:23.300 Is that true?

01:18:23.980 Yeah.

01:18:25.680 So it's like, we're done with this.

01:18:27.160 Yeah, I want to see that.

01:18:30.740 They just hung them.

01:18:31.320 You can't just do – you can't break the law and kill babies.

01:18:34.040 You're out.

01:18:34.520 You're out.

01:18:35.100 Yeah.

01:18:35.260 And hopefully this will be a sign to everybody else.

01:18:37.080 Yeah.

01:18:37.500 There's enough Chinese.

01:18:38.740 They might not have been the ones.

01:18:39.660 They might have been different ones.

01:18:40.800 Come on, Theo.

01:18:42.320 Hey, look.

01:18:43.500 I'll say this.

01:18:44.240 If you show me 40 Chinese, dude, I don't know how I'd feel.

01:18:48.620 You know?

01:18:50.040 You just call them the same one over and over again?

01:18:51.920 Be honest.

01:18:52.780 Well, it's kind of like this.

01:18:53.540 One time this lady paid us to go get her cats in her yard or whatever.

01:18:57.160 And she was very old.

01:18:58.220 And she would give us like I think a quarter for each cat that we brought in.

01:19:00.840 Yeah.

01:19:01.520 And me and my buddy William just kept bringing the same two cats in over and over again.

01:19:05.120 Fucking –

01:19:06.600 When I had to get my visa to play China, I went in there.

01:19:09.540 And they're like, what are you doing there?

01:19:10.340 I'm like, I'm working.

01:19:11.060 I got gigs.

01:19:11.840 I'm like, you're working.

01:19:12.460 Where's your letter of invitation from the government?

01:19:14.040 Where's your $50,000 – and I'm like, I don't know.

01:19:18.720 It's like early when you go to China.

01:19:20.060 I mean, Canada, you have to tell them you're just visiting a friend.

01:19:22.060 Yeah.

01:19:22.300 It was that too.

01:19:23.200 I didn't realize.

01:19:24.040 So I called the promoters.

01:19:24.960 I was like, what do I do?

01:19:25.700 They go, go back – only Bieber can afford the proper channels to play China.

01:19:30.340 Go back in there and tell them you're just there to see the Great Wall.

01:19:34.000 And I'm like, but I was just in there.

01:19:35.520 And he goes, so you know how we can't tell them apart?

01:19:38.220 It's a two-way street.

01:19:39.500 No.

01:19:39.520 He goes, just go right – try not to go to that window, but if you do, it won't matter.

01:19:44.060 And I got called in that window.

01:19:45.560 She goes, hi, how are you doing?

01:19:46.440 I thought she was fucking with me.

01:19:47.440 I'm like, here to do some traveling in China?

01:19:49.760 Okay.

01:19:50.440 That was it.

01:19:51.620 Damn.

01:19:53.300 Did you go with the same group that I went with?

01:19:55.840 Did you go to –

01:19:56.760 I didn't go with that Lee guy.

01:19:58.760 I went with Turner Sparks and Andy Curtain.

01:20:02.880 No, it was a different group, I think.

01:20:04.740 That was one of the best things about doing comedy, man, was just the places you got to go.

01:20:09.080 You couldn't afford it.

01:20:10.060 No.

01:20:10.480 And you just never would have been able to do it.

01:20:12.860 And it flew you to fucking Suzhou, China, Guangxi, and all these places.

01:20:17.520 You're like, dick jokes are paying for this.

01:20:19.700 Yeah.

01:20:20.400 It was wild.

01:20:21.480 And you meet the local scenes.

01:20:22.920 I'm like, there's a comedy scene in Hong Kong?

01:20:25.560 That was the best, man.

01:20:26.400 It was so cool.

01:20:27.620 Iceland.

01:20:28.140 You're going to Australia in just weird spots.

01:20:30.920 Yeah, we went to one right there.

01:20:31.840 That's Guantanamo Bay.

01:20:32.260 You played Guantanamo Bay.

01:20:33.500 With Mike.

01:20:35.340 That's in Cuba?

01:20:36.360 Yeah.

01:20:36.540 Who's that guy on the right guy?

01:20:39.340 Jewish guy, too.

01:20:40.740 Mike.

01:20:42.120 E?

01:20:42.980 No.

01:20:43.720 Smooth E?

01:20:44.240 Mike Buh.

01:20:47.440 Is that Mike Costa with us?

01:20:49.460 Patrick DeGear.

01:20:50.480 That's Costa.

01:20:51.340 Yeah, it looks like Costa.

01:20:52.400 Patrick DeGear, Mike Costa.

01:20:54.000 Who's Patrick DeGear?

01:20:54.520 The blind one.

01:20:56.100 Yeah, Patrick DeGear.

01:20:57.080 Yeah, he's blind.

01:20:57.840 That's you on the left?

01:20:58.960 Yeah.

01:20:59.720 Damn.

01:21:00.820 I had good hair back then.

01:21:01.500 Look how angry your hair is.

01:21:03.040 Yeah, exhumant on it, man.

01:21:04.460 And that kid never nutted inside a chick?

01:21:06.220 Never.

01:21:07.000 What an idiot.

01:21:08.620 That's a nutter.

01:21:10.780 That's a nutter guy.

01:21:12.120 That was his time.

01:21:13.340 Bro, he nutted in his shampoo bottle a few times.

01:21:16.180 You never won a title in your prime.

01:21:17.720 Yeah.

01:21:18.420 Wow.

01:21:20.260 Fuck.

01:21:20.780 I was young as fuck, bitch.

01:21:23.320 Damn.

01:21:24.060 I was doing good.

01:21:25.520 You look like Dane Cook there.

01:21:27.080 Yeah, bro.

01:21:28.540 Dane and Shane.

01:21:29.860 Shane.

01:21:29.940 Shane.

01:21:30.420 Shane, get that off the ground.

01:21:31.760 Come on, NBC.

01:21:32.360 Make your comeback.

01:21:33.060 So you just went all over.

01:21:35.100 Look at that.

01:21:35.340 That's the Guantanamo Bay Lighthouse behind you.

01:21:36.900 Went to Guantanamo Bay.

01:21:38.660 Isn't it so fucking cool you can go out places like that?

01:21:40.960 Crazy.

01:21:41.420 Went to the A.

01:21:41.920 Dude, Guantanamo Bay, I didn't realize, first of all, nice golf courses there.

01:21:47.720 Underrated.

01:21:48.200 You'd never know it.

01:21:48.920 We got to see the prisoners play some volleyball.

01:21:50.960 Wow, really?

01:21:51.740 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 Did you play in your jeans and no shirt like in Top Gun?

01:21:54.540 No, they wouldn't let us get that close to them or whatever.

01:21:56.980 And some of them had blindfolds on or whatever, but they were still playing.

01:22:00.580 Unbelievable.

01:22:01.220 Just to do like to get out in the yard or whatever and have a.

01:22:03.840 Oh, the prisoners.

01:22:04.780 Yeah.

01:22:05.240 Oh.

01:22:06.420 Yeah, they had these.

01:22:08.380 They could play volleyball?

01:22:11.060 Iguanas down there, foxes, rodents, unique animals.

01:22:16.640 They had a beach, this thing called Glass Beach.

01:22:18.580 It had all this used to be glass, but it all was rounded out now.

01:22:22.420 From the tides?

01:22:24.420 Where else they send you?

01:22:25.260 Where else you go?

01:22:25.820 I went to Azores.

01:22:26.940 We went to the Azores, which is somewhere.

01:22:29.540 I don't know.

01:22:30.000 Is that Portugal?

01:22:30.960 Yes.

01:22:31.840 Off the coast of Portugal, between Portugal and America.

01:22:35.140 Pretty amazing.

01:22:35.920 What about you?

01:22:36.780 I just remember I saw Paul Morrissey today.

01:22:39.540 Oh, yeah.

01:22:40.200 Yeah.

01:22:40.660 We went to the three-point Paul.

01:22:42.100 He's a basketball player, too.

01:22:43.020 He's great.

01:22:44.340 We got flown to Switzerland, Montreux, Switzerland, for a festival.

01:22:47.860 Yeah.

01:22:48.300 And then we made a deal with each other.

01:22:49.880 Like, let's keep going places.

01:22:51.560 Yeah, Iceland, Australia.

01:22:53.160 But the China gigs, those weird gigs, Dominican Republic.

01:22:57.020 And you're just like, I'm here.

01:22:57.740 You're in the Dominican Republic?

01:22:58.480 Mm-hmm.

01:22:58.940 And you're just here on their dime.

01:23:01.240 The Anchorage gigs.

01:23:03.100 Oh, I never did that.

01:23:04.020 Those were good.

01:23:04.620 They take you on either a thing above the glaciers or deep-sea fishing.

01:23:09.340 Me and David Taylor were deep-sea fishing.

01:23:10.820 We cut one open right there.

01:23:12.120 It had all these, like, dots in it.

01:23:13.220 And he's like, what's that?

01:23:14.000 He's like, well, it's eggs.

01:23:14.920 It's pregnant, so it's eggs.

01:23:16.540 And he goes, is that caviar?

01:23:18.080 Yeah.

01:23:19.200 Can you eat those raw?

01:23:20.560 Yeah, you can eat them.

01:23:21.060 And he showed us and ate it.

01:23:22.600 And David's like, I'll have some.

01:23:23.720 Right out of the thing.

01:23:24.980 Every pregnant one we found, David just started filling up on it.

01:23:28.520 Did he get sick?

01:23:29.160 So sick.

01:23:30.200 You're not supposed to fill up on caviar on a boat.

01:23:32.440 Yeah, dude.

01:23:32.980 Especially when you're poor.

01:23:35.420 You can barely afford a burrito.

01:23:37.380 And you're eating fresh out of the womb caviar.

01:23:39.820 Bro, if somebody brought caviar to me, I'd fucking.

01:23:42.760 Served in a womb.

01:23:45.420 I'd fucking serve a sword to their neck, dude.

01:23:47.780 You can't fucking eat caviar if you're poor, dude.

01:23:51.000 Yeah, that didn't go.

01:23:52.200 Your stomach's like, chill out, f***.

01:23:54.480 You know?

01:23:55.540 Your system can't handle it.

01:23:58.500 God, those gigs were good.

01:23:59.780 They'd just fly out somewhere.

01:24:01.040 And it was just, like, on their dime.

01:24:03.000 And you're just, like, they cover the hotel.

01:24:04.680 They let you know where to stay.

01:24:06.140 There's no arranging.

01:24:07.620 Yeah, you never made any money.

01:24:08.980 Yeah, right.

01:24:09.600 But it was just, like, broke even.

01:24:10.900 Maybe.

01:24:11.700 But then, like, you're living, like, on a vacation to the level I can barely afford now.

01:24:16.220 Yeah.

01:24:16.700 All covered.

01:24:18.200 It was so cool.

01:24:19.960 Dude, we went one time to, what's the blue stuff that they put in drinks?

01:24:23.820 It's, um, they put it in, like, a.

01:24:28.260 Oh, Kurosawa?

01:24:29.740 Yes.

01:24:31.640 Boom.

01:24:32.340 That place.

01:24:32.960 It's an island.

01:24:33.820 Oh.

01:24:34.500 So we went there.

01:24:36.820 You went there on comedy?

01:24:38.120 Yes.

01:24:38.800 Zoom out from the map.

01:24:39.820 I want to see where this is on the map.

01:24:41.220 Go and then slowly zoom out.

01:24:42.900 Yeah.

01:24:43.960 Yeah.

01:24:44.380 Night near Bonaire.

01:24:45.300 Okay.

01:24:45.520 Out, out, out.

01:24:46.340 Where the f*** is this?

01:24:47.220 They keep moving this place.

01:24:47.640 I really don't know what content is yet.

01:24:49.140 Me neither.

01:24:50.320 Okay.

01:24:50.780 In the Caribbean.

01:24:51.500 Every couple years, they move this place somewhere else.

01:24:53.860 It's like the island from Lost.

01:24:55.200 We went.

01:24:55.860 Go look at a picture of it.

01:24:56.660 Dude, it is, like, a small place.

01:24:58.080 There's only one area that has a few buildings, and then there's this military base there,

01:25:03.620 but they manufacture this blue liqueur there.

01:25:07.580 Yeah, that's the area.

01:25:08.300 It's very small, dude.

01:25:09.420 It's beautiful.

01:25:09.960 It's beautiful, but there's nothing.

01:25:11.200 I mean, this is it, right?

01:25:13.340 And then we went to this military place.

01:25:15.260 I think we did a show, and then they had, they put us up in these rooms, and then you

01:25:21.560 go into the facility where the rooms were, like, and it just kind of looked like a bear,

01:25:25.400 like, almost like a community college type of, or like an old high school, just like the

01:25:31.580 cinder block kind of wall, you know, with painted over and stuff.

01:25:34.100 So then we opened the door to this one room, and it was the most eccentric, craziest room

01:25:41.480 I'd ever been in.

01:25:42.860 It dolled up?

01:25:43.680 Yes.

01:25:44.500 Like, I think fancy, like, operatives or somebody came down there every once in a while, and

01:25:48.500 they put them up in this crazy place and probably get them some chicks or whatever.

01:25:52.040 But it was unbelievable.

01:25:54.440 We went with, yeah, we went with cheerleaders from Houston Texans cheerleaders.

01:25:59.440 What?

01:25:59.980 Yeah.

01:26:00.300 That's when you would have nutted.

01:26:01.800 Yeah.

01:26:02.680 Should have.

01:26:03.120 Who's that?

01:26:03.560 That's the room I was in.

01:26:04.940 Wow.

01:26:05.340 Me and Jay Davis were in it.

01:26:07.640 But every other room was normal, and then they had this one room that was crazy, had,

01:26:11.380 like, mirrored ceilings, like, heavy cocaine vibes, me and Jay Davis.

01:26:15.360 Yeah, yeah, that was a coke vibe for sure.

01:26:17.340 Yeah.

01:26:18.460 That was crazy.

01:26:19.160 It was just crazy.

01:26:19.980 There was me and him just.

01:26:21.220 Wait, back up.

01:26:22.240 Wishing we had some women.

01:26:23.440 Are those your, you were in shape there?

01:26:25.180 I was in shape.

01:26:26.220 God damn, bro.

01:26:27.960 I used to.

01:26:28.460 Wait, what?

01:26:29.400 Yeah.

01:26:29.900 That's you on the left.

01:26:31.060 I used to jerk myself off.

01:26:32.800 That's how good looking I was.

01:26:34.620 Damn, dude.

01:26:35.200 You need to lower those pants a little bit.

01:26:37.040 Show that B.

01:26:38.220 What?

01:26:38.620 Oh, boy.

01:26:39.220 Who is that?

01:26:39.780 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:26:42.480 I am a BLM, dude.

01:26:44.860 I don't know what's going on over there.

01:26:47.480 But that was pretty amazing.

01:26:48.740 That's cool.

01:26:49.560 That was.

01:26:50.220 But yeah, going places like that was unbelievable.

01:26:52.340 Military, you ever do any of the ones where you were in like Iraq or.

01:26:54.780 No, I just had Nate and Louis Katz, Louis Katz and Joe List on my podcast about going

01:27:00.580 to Kuwait and with a stopover in Istanbul.

01:27:03.980 Wow.

01:27:04.520 And it's just like that same thing of like, what are we doing here?

01:27:06.760 It's all paid for and set up.

01:27:09.240 Yeah.

01:27:09.520 Yeah, that was great.

01:27:10.520 And you just thought you were like, this is crazy.

01:27:12.380 Because like when you grow up, you're like, I'll probably never go there ever, let alone

01:27:16.320 on someone else's dime.

01:27:19.540 Yeah.

01:27:19.780 They had a woman in a black.

01:27:21.600 Yeah.

01:27:22.100 They had a woman gave me a BJ.

01:27:23.140 Come soon.

01:27:23.680 You'll be tripping.

01:27:24.460 What?

01:27:24.740 A Blackhawk.

01:27:25.740 They gave me a BJ and a Blackhawk on the ground or not on.

01:27:29.760 They arranged that for you?

01:27:31.060 No, she arranged it.

01:27:32.600 Okay.

01:27:34.080 She arranged it.

01:27:34.980 And she said, oh, the airfield is on.

01:27:37.680 I don't know what it was like on man unattended or something tonight.

01:27:40.080 But yeah, pretty cool.

01:27:43.580 And then what else?

01:27:44.940 Oh, another time.

01:27:45.720 Wait, wait, wait.

01:27:47.600 Wow.

01:27:48.240 I know.

01:27:48.660 Pretty neat.

01:27:49.340 I think that was in like.

01:27:50.100 Would she hold your hand and make a man out of you?

01:27:51.580 I don't know what happened.

01:27:54.120 Wait, you got a blowjob in a Blackhawk helicopter.

01:27:57.020 Pretty cool.

01:27:58.300 Did she leave no man behind or did she like.

01:28:00.360 I don't remember.

01:28:01.420 I remember she had a huge kind of zit on her neck or like a goiter or something.

01:28:06.580 You're just looking at that the whole time.

01:28:10.200 And she was from like Philly or something like the way to last longer or something.

01:28:13.520 But really a sweet gal.

01:28:15.700 And it was nice.

01:28:17.200 Oh, there was another group that went jogging in the morning in the Air Force.

01:28:20.500 And she slipped over into my little cabin or whatever.

01:28:25.080 She slipped out of line of the jog.

01:28:27.340 And I couldn't get an erection.

01:28:28.640 I was too like freaked out or something.

01:28:30.040 I thought they were going to come over the guns.

01:28:31.300 I didn't fucking know how the military works.

01:28:32.920 Where was this?

01:28:33.400 This was in somewhere near Kuwait.

01:28:36.900 Arif John or one of these bases or something.

01:28:40.280 Pretty cool.

01:28:41.500 Wow.

01:28:41.980 Those were good.

01:28:42.620 Yeah, it was good.

01:28:43.300 A good time.

01:28:43.880 It was good for everybody.

01:28:45.580 It was just cool.

01:28:46.660 They would take you out in the middle of nowhere.

01:28:47.760 You'd just shoot a bunch of guns, you know, and just.

01:28:51.440 That was Kuwait?

01:28:52.780 Yeah.

01:28:52.960 You went to Kuwait?

01:28:54.060 Yeah.

01:28:54.280 Whatever the one in Iraq.

01:28:55.520 Yeah.

01:28:56.560 Arif John.

01:28:57.180 That's where we flew in.

01:28:57.760 They went to these forward operating bases.

01:28:59.480 I think that's where they went to.

01:29:00.440 I think it might have been the same one.

01:29:01.400 It was pretty great.

01:29:03.400 So, yeah, the special.

01:29:04.740 Let's get a little bit more about it.

01:29:05.660 I want to know about it.

01:29:06.240 Are you touring off of it now?

01:29:07.380 Is there going to be a new tour?

01:29:07.840 Not touring off a different hour.

01:29:09.180 Okay.

01:29:09.500 Yeah, I'm touring a little bit for like till April.

01:29:11.940 Then I'm going to take about a year and a half off.

01:29:13.460 Yeah.

01:29:13.740 Off the road.

01:29:14.440 You always do a good job of that.

01:29:15.780 It's taking time off.

01:29:16.420 You're the one guy who's always like, dude, you got to take some time off for yourself.

01:29:19.100 And I'm like, I will.

01:29:19.940 And then I never do.

01:29:20.900 Yeah.

01:29:21.060 I always try to get you to.

01:29:22.020 Yeah, you do.

01:29:22.760 Yeah.

01:29:23.900 You could.

01:29:24.720 I know.

01:29:25.800 One of the day I will.

01:29:26.780 Yeah.

01:29:26.920 One day I'll just take time off forever, you know?

01:29:28.560 I think that's probably maybe my goal.

01:29:29.800 Save it up and then go.

01:29:30.880 Yeah.

01:29:31.200 Just like when people save up their PTO or whatever.

01:29:33.700 You save it up till the end once you quit.

01:29:35.040 Like I get all that.

01:29:35.900 Oh, that's the wrong way to live.

01:29:37.120 You think?

01:29:37.420 You should be taken along the way.

01:29:39.160 Yeah.

01:29:40.020 Yeah.

01:29:40.340 So, I'm going to go backpacking for like six, eight months.

01:29:42.920 Just traveling.

01:29:43.840 You've been to some pretty great places over the years.

01:29:46.040 I went to Cuba this year with Bobby Kelly.

01:29:48.000 Did you really?

01:29:48.920 Yeah.

01:29:49.800 We were there for a hurricane.

01:29:51.780 That's not why we went.

01:29:53.180 We went to get away from the election.

01:29:54.960 No way.

01:29:55.640 Yeah, we went out there on Monday.

01:29:57.340 We didn't find out who won till Sunday.

01:29:59.540 Wow.

01:30:01.200 They don't even have elections there.

01:30:02.680 Yeah.

01:30:03.100 You're like, what happened to the election?

01:30:04.080 Like, I don't know what that word means.

01:30:05.880 Elecciones?

01:30:06.540 No say.

01:30:07.340 No say.

01:30:09.060 Wow.

01:30:09.460 What was it like there?

01:30:10.760 I mean, it was pretty wild.

01:30:12.160 You can see like the remnants of what it would have been, the extravagance.

01:30:15.520 Same buildings.

01:30:16.260 Nothing's, they have an embargo there.

01:30:17.680 That's one thing I tell Trump.

01:30:18.740 Like, come on, end that already.

01:30:20.120 They're just poor people now for no reason.

01:30:21.980 And so, what does that mean they have an embargo?

01:30:23.360 So, you can't, they won't trade with America.

01:30:25.640 They won't trade with anyone who trades with America to a degree, I think.

01:30:29.960 So, we won't trade with, or we, did we do that or they did that?

01:30:32.460 We did that.

01:30:33.060 Okay.

01:30:33.480 And so, Obama ended it and then, and opened up travel and everything.

01:30:37.640 Trump put back on the embargo, but you can still travel.

01:30:40.960 And then Biden also took, stayed, no, like full embargo, but you can still travel.

01:30:45.060 So, there's 20 flights a day from Miami and Houston.

01:30:47.480 Okay.

01:30:47.920 So, you can travel to Cuba.

01:30:49.280 You can't bring back cigars, can't bring back alcohol.

01:30:51.380 And we don't do trade with them.

01:30:52.680 Yeah.

01:30:53.040 And so, that means they can't grow extra stuff in trade.

01:30:55.800 All their sugarcane, all their tobacco, they can't, there's no reason to grow extra

01:30:59.720 because they can't, it'll just rot.

01:31:01.500 Right.

01:31:02.480 Um, so, there's just poverty there.

01:31:05.280 So, it's just poverty, but it's also just poverty because the government takes, probably

01:31:09.180 like funnels a lot of the money just to themselves, right?

01:31:11.520 Yeah, sure, they're doing okay.

01:31:12.380 But that hurricane, they evacuated everyone they had to evacuate, like, really well.

01:31:16.380 There was three people rushed to the hospital.

01:31:18.340 That's it.

01:31:18.860 During a type three hurricane.

01:31:21.120 That's nice.

01:31:21.860 Yeah.

01:31:22.860 I mean, it's heavy.

01:31:23.400 The whole island lost power for two days.

01:31:25.860 So, there was no power in the entire country for two days.

01:31:28.860 So, that was like weird.

01:31:30.200 Weird, but then we just wandered around outside afterwards, just like looked at the devastation.

01:31:34.700 Hmm.

01:31:36.220 The U.S. business conducting trade or commerce.

01:31:39.400 Current embargo status.

01:31:40.480 With human interests.

01:31:41.300 Yeah.

01:31:41.640 President Donald Trump was taking office for second term on January 25th.

01:31:44.460 So, if we reverse several actions taken by the outgoing Biden administration.

01:31:47.940 Well, that happens a lot.

01:31:48.980 Like, the one, like, so for a couple days that things have changed, right?

01:31:52.800 Yeah.

01:31:52.820 So, you know, I think I know what this is.

01:31:55.120 So, Diaz told me this, gave me a clue.

01:31:56.980 They wouldn't, Florida didn't vote for Hillary Clinton because they never forgave.

01:32:00.200 Bill Clinton for giving back Elian Gonzalez.

01:32:02.820 Because they, those Cubans that fled and went to Florida, who are all, and they breed, you know?

01:32:08.260 So, there are a lot of them.

01:32:09.200 Yeah.

01:32:09.320 They hate the Castro regime over there.

01:32:13.020 And anything you can.

01:32:13.880 They tell their grandkids, you can never visit Cuba.

01:32:15.940 Fuck that place.

01:32:17.440 And so, they're mad at them giving this kid back to his real father.

01:32:20.940 Like, he should be in America.

01:32:22.420 So, they just hate him.

01:32:23.500 So, it took Obama for like, well, I've already run twice and won.

01:32:27.660 So, I'm not going to run for a third term.

01:32:29.320 So, now I can end this embargo.

01:32:30.860 If he didn't, Florida goes against him.

01:32:33.320 So, Trump, same thing.

01:32:35.000 It's like, I want that Cuban vote.

01:32:36.940 Let's put that embargo back on.

01:32:38.180 Biden, too.

01:32:38.780 I want that Cuban vote.

01:32:39.640 Put that embargo back on.

01:32:41.360 Yeah.

01:32:42.020 Florida's a big vote.

01:32:43.000 It ain't Maryland.

01:32:43.960 Yeah.

01:32:44.140 If it was Maryland, they're like, I don't care.

01:32:45.660 Florida's a lot of points, right?

01:32:47.040 Yeah.

01:32:47.200 So, I'm hoping he's like, well, I'm already in.

01:32:49.400 Dang.

01:32:49.940 Yeah.

01:32:50.360 So, it's just whatever.

01:32:52.640 But, so then when you go, like, can you bring in anything?

01:32:54.700 Like, yes, light bulbs.

01:32:55.820 Or, it's not even expensive.

01:32:57.020 Like, we just can't get shit here.

01:32:58.480 Batteries.

01:32:58.840 A battery charger.

01:32:59.980 We would love that.

01:33:01.600 Huh.

01:33:02.180 Yeah.

01:33:02.460 So, he was like, hey, the hurricane's coming.

01:33:04.380 We're going to lose power.

01:33:05.820 Charge everything.

01:33:07.120 Wow.

01:33:08.380 Yeah, that's wild.

01:33:09.480 You don't even think about the things you would need suddenly.

01:33:11.560 Yeah.

01:33:11.920 So, you can see all the buildings.

01:33:13.160 They look kind of decrepit.

01:33:14.200 But, if you, like, blink and, like, imagine it with, like, a clean coat of paint, you're

01:33:17.480 like, oh, yeah, this would have been the vacation spot.

01:33:19.300 Yeah.

01:33:20.560 Maybe one day it will be again.

01:33:22.220 Well, I guess.

01:33:22.780 Well, you guys went there for a vacation.

01:33:23.980 How was it?

01:33:24.980 I loved it.

01:33:26.060 I had so much fun.

01:33:27.100 Did you go to the beach and stuff?

01:33:27.960 I went to the beach.

01:33:28.920 Nobody was on it.

01:33:29.740 They cooked you a lobster right there for $10.

01:33:32.820 It was so cool.

01:33:33.920 It was so much fun and freeing.

01:33:35.560 I got to practice my Spanish.

01:33:36.960 So, it's a great place to go.

01:33:38.160 God damn.

01:33:38.800 I mean, we didn't get out of Havana.

01:33:39.780 We would have gotten out except for the hurricane, kind of put a damper on it.

01:33:42.520 But, it was a cool experience anyway.

01:33:45.160 But, like, yeah, I would love to go back.

01:33:47.380 I would love to go to Trinidad, like, the city of Trinidad in Cuba in the east.

01:33:51.660 And just, like.

01:33:52.260 Was there a nightlife there when you went?

01:33:53.740 Mm-hmm.

01:33:54.200 Really?

01:33:54.720 Dancing and music.

01:33:55.460 Oh, yeah.

01:33:56.000 That Cuban music.

01:33:56.880 We went to what's left of Buena Vista Social Club.

01:33:59.620 I was dancing.

01:34:00.380 They picked me up to dance.

01:34:02.020 This fucking hot black chick, like, Caribbean, like, black chick.

01:34:05.700 Yeah.

01:34:06.180 She was dancing with me.

01:34:06.780 And I was, like, I remember a little salsa class.

01:34:08.700 Saltwater sisters, baby.

01:34:10.000 Yeah.

01:34:10.760 I was going for it.

01:34:11.820 Dude, it felt so good.

01:34:12.740 It was so fucking fun.

01:34:14.600 Yeah.

01:34:15.460 Everyone's out.

01:34:16.300 Everyone's smoking and just casually smoking those cigars and just, like, drinking.

01:34:21.260 Are they busting on you?

01:34:22.440 The Cuba Libres.

01:34:22.840 Do they bust on you because you're American?

01:34:24.500 No.

01:34:24.920 Not at all.

01:34:25.600 One guy goes, I know it's not you.

01:34:27.460 I know it's your government.

01:34:28.140 And I was, like, I wasn't even thinking about it.

01:34:32.020 Wow.

01:34:32.640 We went when I was a student.

01:34:34.140 We went.

01:34:34.880 I want to get you on my podcast about that year.

01:34:37.320 Well, when I went there?

01:34:38.100 Semester at sea?

01:34:38.840 Yeah.

01:34:39.580 Okay.

01:34:39.760 Dude, I'll come talk about that.

01:34:40.580 I never talk about it.

01:34:41.680 I met a guy.

01:34:42.420 It would go perfect with that pod.

01:34:43.600 But also, like.

01:34:44.340 Journey.

01:34:44.680 What's it called?

01:34:45.140 The trip?

01:34:45.700 You'd be tripping.

01:34:46.440 You'd be tripping.

01:34:46.700 Just about a place you've been.

01:34:47.560 But I haven't had ocean as any.

01:34:50.260 But, like, I met a guy in my neighborhood.

01:34:51.340 Dude, I never talk about that whole trip.

01:34:53.300 We were talking.

01:34:54.000 He goes, do you know Theo Vaughn?

01:34:55.020 I was like, yeah, yeah.

01:34:55.680 He's a friend of mine.

01:34:56.680 And he goes, I was on a boat with him once.

01:34:58.620 And I was like, oh, weird.

01:35:00.880 And he goes, no, no, no.

01:35:01.680 It was, like, a six-month thing.

01:35:03.780 Yeah, that was it.

01:35:04.160 I got to get his name to see if you remember.

01:35:05.420 I got to remember his name.

01:35:06.440 Semester at sea, white guy?

01:35:07.720 Yeah, white guy.

01:35:08.480 James.

01:35:09.480 James was his name.

01:35:12.140 James.

01:35:12.600 But anyway.

01:35:13.940 Yeah, and I was like, oh.

01:35:15.720 That'd be perfect.

01:35:16.460 That sounds so cool.

01:35:17.920 Oh, it was great.

01:35:19.280 Yeah, semester at sea.

01:35:20.120 It was, like, a floating school.

01:35:20.940 Took off out of Canada.

01:35:21.900 Out of Vancouver over there.

01:35:24.400 And just went around the whole world.

01:35:25.900 Finished in Florida.

01:35:26.600 We stopped at Cuba on the way.

01:35:28.240 You did?

01:35:28.720 On the way back, yeah.

01:35:29.880 Fidel came and spoke to us, too.

01:35:31.200 It was pretty crazy.

01:35:32.080 Really?

01:35:32.540 Yeah.

01:35:33.540 What?

01:35:34.000 But then we just tried to get out.

01:35:35.340 Oh, dude, I'll tell you this fun thing that happened.

01:35:36.900 So we went out.

01:35:38.220 And nobody spoke any Spanish or whatever.

01:35:40.460 We would just do like that if somebody talked to us in Spanish, you know?

01:35:43.360 Yeah.

01:35:46.840 We would fucking just do that in order of Cuba Libre, you know?

01:35:50.760 Oh, man, they're great there.

01:35:52.020 Oh, yeah.

01:35:52.720 The Havana Club.

01:35:54.200 Yeah, we went to the Havana Club.

01:35:55.340 Yeah.

01:35:55.900 Yeah, dude.

01:35:56.380 We saw a guy picking his nose so hard for so long.

01:35:58.940 Yeah.

01:35:59.560 So long.

01:36:00.220 I have a picture of it.

01:36:00.860 I can't show it because there's being too much hate.

01:36:02.720 Oh, yeah.

01:36:02.740 Hard workers over there.

01:36:03.840 No, there's a white guy.

01:36:04.880 Oh, sorry.

01:36:05.700 There's a white guy getting rid of that fucking pollution.

01:36:09.660 Yeah.

01:36:10.180 A lot of people travel over there, pick their nose fucking cool.

01:36:13.020 It hits different in Cuba.

01:36:15.060 The flick goes further.

01:36:17.140 And then so we were at this thing.

01:36:19.000 We're just walking down the streets.

01:36:19.900 And finally, we find this kind of party going on.

01:36:21.480 It looked like there was some people.

01:36:23.540 There was like a birthday cake and stuff with this old guy.

01:36:26.080 And these people like were drinking and we were drinking.

01:36:27.740 And so we all just start kind of dancing in this little kind of foyer area, like off the edge of this house and stuff.

01:36:33.620 And we're hanging out and stuff.

01:36:35.100 And we're singing happy birthday and dancing.

01:36:37.380 And then you start to realize, look over, and this old guy is going down on this woman.

01:36:43.040 They were hookers that they'd hired for these two old dudes that hired some hookers for their birthday.

01:36:47.620 What?

01:36:48.120 And we're just fucking there like cutting the cake with them and shit.

01:36:50.780 We're like, what the fuck are we doing, bro?

01:36:53.440 There's a lot of hookers there.

01:36:54.700 Yeah.

01:36:55.120 Was there?

01:36:55.640 Yeah, I didn't get any.

01:36:56.560 You see them, though.

01:36:57.260 I'm like, I haven't seen any hookers.

01:36:58.220 And you notice like, oh, yeah, yeah, that.

01:36:59.900 Oh, yeah, that.

01:37:01.100 They're like, hi.

01:37:02.040 And you're like, yep.

01:37:03.940 They're just different.

01:37:05.220 Yeah, that was.

01:37:05.880 And then we went to a baseball game.

01:37:06.740 We had to go get bread and cheese.

01:37:07.620 You got what?

01:37:08.640 We were staying with a guy.

01:37:10.060 And they were like, should we help?

01:37:11.640 Should we help?

01:37:12.000 He goes, no, no, I got it.

01:37:12.840 I got you.

01:37:13.220 And then when the hurricane was coming, like, should we go out and get supplies?

01:37:16.520 And he goes, yes.

01:37:17.840 Like, he was like, oh, shit, you're worried.

01:37:20.020 So we're like on the hunt for bread and cheese.

01:37:21.520 And everywhere we went, they're like, we're out.

01:37:23.040 We're out.

01:37:23.340 And then Bobby Kelly was like, all right, let's go.

01:37:25.740 Let's go to the next place.

01:37:26.380 We got to go.

01:37:27.200 And he goes, well, hold on.

01:37:28.000 There's cookies here.

01:37:28.760 I'm like, Bob, it's not a cookie time, dude.

01:37:31.500 Let's go.

01:37:33.060 So what else do you see?

01:37:34.340 An alcoholic with a dessert.

01:37:35.840 It's hard.

01:37:36.160 It's fucking.

01:37:36.760 It's a replacement.

01:37:38.100 What else do you see there?

01:37:39.180 What else did we see?

01:37:39.900 Went to a baseball game.

01:37:41.260 Oh, I miss doing that.

01:37:42.360 And when we left, we were throwing everything we had off of the edge of the ship.

01:37:47.660 Like tennis shoes.

01:37:49.320 Just because they didn't have, like, just things that like.

01:37:51.520 We're like, what are we going to do?

01:37:52.740 You take this shit.

01:37:53.560 We don't even fucking care.

01:37:54.580 Who cares?

01:37:55.120 Because you kind of made friends with the people while you were there.

01:37:57.280 They had this guy named Henry that was taking us around.

01:38:00.380 And he.

01:38:01.940 And it was just so we're just throwing everything we had just off the edge of this boat.

01:38:06.240 You take it.

01:38:06.820 You take it.

01:38:07.260 Take it here, here, here.

01:38:09.120 They'll get used to it.

01:38:09.500 Clothes, all kind of stuff.

01:38:10.520 Yeah, because they could use it.

01:38:11.840 That was pretty awesome.

01:38:13.420 That was really great.

01:38:14.620 Yeah, it's crazy that they don't have access.

01:38:17.580 It's weird when you go to another place, you see a cultural difference that you hadn't even noticed before.

01:38:21.560 We're like, oh, I have access to shoes when I want it.

01:38:23.640 I might not be able to afford them, but I can get them.

01:38:25.440 Yeah.

01:38:26.060 And they had horse meat.

01:38:26.980 That's what they served us at this conference.

01:38:28.240 We went to this conference.

01:38:29.000 They served us horse meat.

01:38:30.780 And then they had also.

01:38:32.060 They, like you wore this, this, this translator machine.

01:38:39.260 So whenever Fidel was talking, the speakers were talking, you could hear what they were saying.

01:38:43.620 Whoa.

01:38:43.940 And then some people got to ask him questions and shit.

01:38:46.200 One kid got him to sign his passport.

01:38:48.060 Fidel Castro.

01:38:49.400 Sign somebody.

01:38:50.320 Wow.

01:38:50.480 That's a perfect thing to sign.

01:38:51.900 Sign somebody's passport.

01:38:53.760 Wow.

01:38:54.400 Pretty fucking cool.

01:38:55.520 You met Fidel Castro?

01:38:57.260 Some little slurper.

01:38:57.960 I don't know if I met him.

01:38:59.140 I don't think I did.

01:38:59.980 But you saw him.

01:39:00.700 Yeah, we saw him.

01:39:01.300 He came and spoke to us, like 600 students or maybe.

01:39:04.360 And then I'm trying to think of anything else that happened that was super great over there.

01:39:08.160 I just had him pretty quick.

01:39:09.640 And we just drank with like a lot of like homeless people.

01:39:12.100 Like a lot of times you would pull in, you were on a boat docks.

01:39:14.320 You were always like around like homeless people and shit and wherever boat docks are.

01:39:17.520 Right.

01:39:17.820 That's not the typical vibe of a city.

01:39:20.080 Right.

01:39:20.240 Like sometimes it was like cool, like Miami.

01:39:22.100 And then sometimes it was like you were in like Jersey, you know, like you just, it was hit or miss, you know, some of these ports you went into.

01:39:28.800 So you'd roll off thinking like, oh, we're going to be in the lap of like some cool area.

01:39:32.560 And you'd just be in like the industrial and the docks, you know, like in Belfast or something.

01:39:37.080 Yeah, exactly.

01:39:38.040 Who would go here?

01:39:38.980 Yeah.

01:39:39.300 Or in LA, go to where the ships dock.

01:39:40.980 People are just getting fucking wasted.

01:39:42.860 It's just at some.

01:39:44.160 I've been to sea for nine months.

01:39:45.280 Get me hookers and drugs now.

01:39:46.960 Oh, dude, all the staff that worked on the cruise ship, they were from like Trinidad and Tobago and stuff like that.

01:39:53.940 And so they were all, they would all go get hookers.

01:39:56.360 The second that the boat docked, you'd see them file out like ants just to go get hookers in these different countries.

01:40:01.920 I went last year, Trinidad and Tobago.

01:40:03.440 Yeah.

01:40:03.840 For a carnival.

01:40:04.680 Was it nice?

01:40:05.580 It was so much fun for carnival.

01:40:07.760 I dressed the whole outfit with the big fucking feathers and just dance and drink for days.

01:40:13.840 Wow.

01:40:14.880 It was so much fun.

01:40:16.440 Who'd you go with?

01:40:17.600 A chick.

01:40:18.580 Yeah.

01:40:18.960 I met my friend.

01:40:19.660 My friend's like in line to be the prime minister there from college.

01:40:22.920 Really?

01:40:23.600 Yeah.

01:40:23.900 His dad was the prime minister.

01:40:25.760 And then when I met him, he was the ambassador of America.

01:40:28.920 White guy?

01:40:30.460 Tobagan?

01:40:31.420 No.

01:40:33.360 Dark skin black.

01:40:34.460 Dark skin black.

01:40:35.340 Yeah.

01:40:35.540 They only have Indians and blacks there pretty much.

01:40:38.080 Oh, yeah.

01:40:39.000 But everyone's dancing, whining on each other.

01:40:40.840 They're whining on me.

01:40:41.680 They were playing.

01:40:42.100 This is not happening for some reason on loop.

01:40:44.040 No.

01:40:44.400 On loop.

01:40:45.600 So like for like four hours a day, they were playing.

01:40:47.860 This is not happening in Trinidad.

01:40:49.640 No residuals.

01:40:51.280 And so I was getting recognized in Trinidad and Tobago.

01:40:54.580 Some chick was like, are you Ari Shafir?

01:40:56.200 Can I?

01:40:56.440 And I was like, yeah.

01:40:57.060 She goes, can I whine on you?

01:40:58.100 I'm like, yeah.

01:40:58.560 She's just fucking backing it up.

01:40:59.820 That's what they do there?

01:41:00.820 Yeah.

01:41:01.320 It's not even sexual.

01:41:02.180 It's just like backing it up right on your ass and just rub it.

01:41:05.120 And they just go all the way down.

01:41:06.140 Oh, yeah.

01:41:07.920 Yeah.

01:41:08.340 That's great.

01:41:09.440 And what do they call a whined on you?

01:41:11.200 Whining.

01:41:11.800 Whining.

01:41:12.160 It's their dance.

01:41:12.900 Whining.

01:41:13.600 And it's Tobagon?

01:41:14.960 I guess so.

01:41:15.760 Wow.

01:41:16.080 Steel pan, all that shit.

01:41:17.560 It was so fucking cool.

01:41:19.920 I love that.

01:41:20.760 What do you notice after traveling to some of these places?

01:41:22.880 What are the things you miss about America?

01:41:25.040 And what do you think are the things that we lose by being such a capitalistic environment?

01:41:30.080 Food is cleaner other places.

01:41:32.220 Okay.

01:41:32.500 Like in Cuba, they don't have much, but they don't have chemicals to put in there either.

01:41:36.560 Right.

01:41:38.000 And then it's like the need to work for life.

01:41:41.120 Oh, she's teaching how to whine.

01:41:42.280 I might have watched this video before I went.

01:41:44.480 God.

01:41:45.660 And what do you do?

01:41:46.660 Stand there?

01:41:47.300 Stand there.

01:41:47.800 I can lift one leg around them, try to go down with them.

01:41:51.620 I mean, you can't do it, but they're like, it's funny, the white guy trying.

01:41:53.980 But they're not like mad at you for being there.

01:41:56.580 There's so few whites.

01:41:57.820 There are?

01:41:58.520 Yeah.

01:41:59.640 Yeah.

01:42:00.280 I think the real one has more.

01:42:02.040 Whoa.

01:42:03.420 Pregnancia.

01:42:04.960 And you just.

01:42:06.760 That's when you really, that's when your nuts go missing right there.

01:42:11.960 Wow.

01:42:12.800 Let's learn to work.

01:42:13.560 Jesus, lady.

01:42:14.700 I know.

01:42:15.900 Alto, alto.

01:42:16.700 I caught a pickpocket in Croatia one time.

01:42:19.880 I got a picture with him.

01:42:21.280 He pickpocketed you?

01:42:22.500 Called him fucking just like that.

01:42:24.540 And then you're like, I'm not mad at you.

01:42:26.160 Let's just take a picture.

01:42:27.000 Let's get a photo of you.

01:42:27.520 And he ran off.

01:42:28.380 Little guy.

01:42:29.220 Little fucking Fievel goes thieving.

01:42:32.740 Hey, no.

01:42:33.560 He's like, all right.

01:42:34.200 Yeah.

01:42:34.740 Fair is fair.

01:42:35.200 It's just like you notice like, oh, we have some good things where we are.

01:42:40.660 You get to appreciate that.

01:42:42.320 But then also like the need to work as your method of reward.

01:42:47.560 You know, it's like, nah, it shouldn't be that.

01:42:49.540 It should be work to play.

01:42:52.100 Like how much value we put on that.

01:42:53.800 Yeah.

01:42:53.960 It's like never any work till you die.

01:42:55.640 And there, they're like, you work for the weekend.

01:42:58.380 You try to go towards like some fun.

01:43:01.100 So there, they have like carnival season.

01:43:02.860 It's a month plus long.

01:43:04.060 Parties, parties, parties.

01:43:06.000 It's great.

01:43:07.460 Jouvet.

01:43:07.900 Everyone's like throwing paint on each other and mud.

01:43:10.340 Jouvet.

01:43:11.020 Jouvet.

01:43:11.660 Jouvet.

01:43:12.060 It's like Jouvert.

01:43:13.420 That's in Trinidad?

01:43:14.540 Yeah.

01:43:14.820 It's a night before.

01:43:15.820 So you're up all night.

01:43:17.100 You get two hours of sleep and go back to drinking and whining.

01:43:19.900 Yeah.

01:43:20.300 That's Jouvet.

01:43:21.300 Jouvet.

01:43:21.660 J-Jouvert.

01:43:24.060 Dash O-U-V-R-T.

01:43:25.900 Everyone's fighting with.

01:43:28.580 Wow.

01:43:29.120 And they're fist fighting?

01:43:30.480 No, they're fighting with paint.

01:43:32.280 No, they're not.

01:43:32.800 Yeah, they're in a great mood.

01:43:34.740 It's all pretty safe.

01:43:35.580 Let's look about Jouvet.

01:43:36.620 Can you find me any information on it?

01:43:38.080 It looks beautiful.

01:43:38.860 It's the day before.

01:43:40.060 So color.

01:43:40.720 A traditional carnival celebration in many countries throughout the Caribbean.

01:43:44.680 The parade is believed to have its foundation in Trinidad and Tobago with roots steeped in French Afro-Creole traditions.

01:43:50.880 Wow.

01:43:51.500 Such as Canbouleh.

01:43:53.480 Canbouleh.

01:43:53.980 What is that?

01:43:55.180 Yeah, it's all so fucking weird.

01:43:56.780 And it comes from like some weird version of like Christianity and slavery celebrating.

01:44:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:04.580 Canbouleh is a precursor to Trinidad and Tobago Carnival.

01:44:07.740 The festival is also where Calypso music has its roots.

01:44:10.680 Steel drum.

01:44:11.280 You know why they did steel drum?

01:44:12.260 Because they outlawed drumming because they were like, you're like riling people up.

01:44:15.900 So like, well, let's get these abandoned steel drums, like the oil drums.

01:44:20.440 We'll make music out of that.

01:44:23.120 Go back to that information, Nick.

01:44:27.720 It was originally a harvest festival.

01:44:29.420 It was drum, singing, dancing, and chanting were an integral part.

01:44:34.380 Huh.

01:44:34.780 Oh, yep.

01:44:37.540 Canbouleh has played an important role in the development of the music of Trinidad and Tobago

01:44:41.040 for it was the banning of percussion instruments in the 1880s that led to the surreptitious innovations

01:44:45.660 that gave birth to steel pan music.

01:44:49.240 Oh, that's cool.

01:44:50.380 Yeah, here's me in my fucking costume.

01:44:53.240 Wow.

01:44:54.380 Isn't that fun?

01:44:55.580 Yeah, yeah, Bubba.

01:44:57.720 It was so fucking fun.

01:44:59.160 So he showed us how to do it.

01:45:01.100 My friend Brian.

01:45:01.940 Dude, that's so cool.

01:45:03.500 Oh, you look like a native, bro.

01:45:05.320 Yeah, I got lost in it.

01:45:07.280 You look so native.

01:45:08.480 It was so fun.

01:45:10.520 I mean, they party.

01:45:12.300 They do it right.

01:45:13.040 There's no status.

01:45:13.980 There's no any of that.

01:45:14.760 Like, what do you mean they party?

01:45:15.740 They go to let loose.

01:45:17.480 Like a Filipino lady and like all the Filipinos in like China and stuff, when it's the weekend,

01:45:22.060 they party.

01:45:23.020 They just dance on the docks together.

01:45:24.840 Right.

01:45:25.160 They go for it.

01:45:25.900 They're like, let's let loose.

01:45:27.580 It's not about like, which table am I at?

01:45:29.700 Who's going to be here?

01:45:30.440 Yeah.

01:45:31.180 It's the party for the sake of party.

01:45:32.600 And it's like the downstairs on the on the Titanic.

01:45:35.140 Yeah.

01:45:36.320 You know?

01:45:36.880 Yeah.

01:45:37.080 Everything else just gets a little bit fucking ridiculous out here that I think you definitely

01:45:41.000 notice that more in big cities.

01:45:42.820 Yeah.

01:45:43.040 Club club life.

01:45:44.140 Clubbing in Europe is about like doing drugs and dancing.

01:45:47.120 Yeah.

01:45:47.420 And here it's about like bottle service and velvet ropes.

01:45:50.560 Prestige.

01:45:51.140 Yeah.

01:45:52.080 Yeah.

01:45:52.480 That kind of stuff starts to disappear once you even get out of, I feel like, some of

01:45:55.740 the bigger cities.

01:45:56.460 Um, I always noticed too, that Australians travel the most stuff.

01:46:00.920 Yeah.

01:46:01.920 It's like they're, they go do it.

01:46:03.760 It's how they, we can't even comprehend it.

01:46:05.880 No.

01:46:06.080 You see one in the audience.

01:46:07.080 Like, Oh, what are you doing here?

01:46:08.940 It's like, I'm on holiday.

01:46:10.140 Yeah.

01:46:10.620 And you're like, Oh, so just, just LA in the back.

01:46:12.600 Like, no, LA, Vegas, Miami, and then Copenhagen, London, whatever.

01:46:17.200 Like how long are you going for it?

01:46:17.700 Oh, a field of dreams we're going to.

01:46:19.820 There's always like one outlier thing they're going to see.

01:46:22.320 Yeah.

01:46:23.100 Yeah.

01:46:23.700 It's like, why nobody goes that?

01:46:25.160 I want to see Mickey Rooney's grave over there.

01:46:28.380 Yeah.

01:46:28.740 They go for like two months.

01:46:29.840 I know.

01:46:30.140 It is really incredible, huh?

01:46:31.100 They'll go.

01:46:31.560 It's almost like that Amish thing.

01:46:33.180 Like, um, what's the, uh, where they go?

01:46:35.740 Rumspringa.

01:46:36.320 Rumspringa.

01:46:36.780 Yeah.

01:46:37.320 Australians almost have that.

01:46:38.300 We're like, I'm going to go see the world.

01:46:39.380 And Australians, all they really want to do is try the different Cokes from around the country.

01:46:43.960 Oh, they like doing cocaine?

01:46:44.900 Yeah.

01:46:45.300 They love it.

01:46:45.800 And they have the worst.

01:46:46.840 Oh, yeah.

01:46:47.380 They love it the most and have the worst.

01:46:49.580 Yeah.

01:46:49.780 So it's like, imagine you dunking.

01:46:51.240 I love to dunk, but I can't really do it because I can't really do it.

01:46:54.280 But then you go to like the moon and you're like, I can dunk now.

01:46:57.300 All you want to do is just dunk all day.

01:46:58.900 I believe it.

01:47:00.060 Yeah.

01:47:02.180 Just fucking just jumping.

01:47:04.320 Right past the sun.

01:47:06.300 Would you see that picture that just came up about Mars?

01:47:08.100 You see that?

01:47:08.620 What about it?

01:47:09.960 They found this crazy thing on the photo.

01:47:12.500 If this photo is real.

01:47:13.260 Did you see that, Nick?

01:47:15.920 Yeah.

01:47:16.260 They found like a perfect square on Mars.

01:47:18.160 Is that what you're talking about?

01:47:18.840 Yeah.

01:47:19.080 What?

01:47:21.320 It's kind of fascinating.

01:47:22.400 That's unsettling.

01:47:25.020 That ain't perfect.

01:47:25.820 Oh.

01:47:26.220 The square structure of Mars behind branded wild has space fanatics completely baffled.

01:47:32.620 Yeah.

01:47:32.780 That's a straight line.

01:47:34.760 Yeah.

01:47:35.100 I'm trying to see if we can get a clear picture of it.

01:47:36.760 I'm sure they were, too.

01:47:40.100 Yeah.

01:47:40.480 Facts.

01:47:41.480 Oh, that's it right there.

01:47:42.720 So you start to wonder, like, because your mind also starts to say, well, OK, that's a square.

01:47:47.600 But but also it's like, is it just like right there?

01:47:50.000 The rocks broke down just that way.

01:47:51.520 That's not it's like Bigfoot shit.

01:47:53.560 It really is.

01:47:54.080 Or UFOs.

01:47:55.080 Every time UFOs are like, look at this.

01:47:56.280 I'm like, I can't see context.

01:47:57.580 Yeah.

01:47:57.820 That looks like a dot.

01:47:59.140 And the shittiest thing for me is UFOs have been in the water recently.

01:48:02.920 Do you hear that a couple like a month ago?

01:48:04.820 Yeah.

01:48:05.220 Why wouldn't they hide in the water?

01:48:06.580 And you're like, OK, so you're telling me this whole time we've been looking up.

01:48:10.080 And they're down.

01:48:10.840 And they're down.

01:48:12.680 Oh, you tricksters.

01:48:14.740 It's like a it's like part of a Scooby Doo episode.

01:48:17.640 It's like, what?

01:48:19.200 I'm not worried about them harming me.

01:48:21.780 This was a let they tell me something news.

01:48:24.680 Yeah.

01:48:25.120 Tim Burchard said an interview Wednesday that an admirable whom he did not identify told him

01:48:28.580 I don't identify craft moving at incredible speeds in the sea.

01:48:32.260 It's always incredible speeds.

01:48:33.700 And you're like, how about it's far away?

01:48:36.360 Look, look, if you have something really far away and it's moving across the screen like

01:48:39.460 that, you're like, that's slow.

01:48:40.760 If it's right here, it's like, oh, my God, that's so fast.

01:48:43.320 Yeah.

01:48:43.840 It's just you can't see the fucking scale.

01:48:45.960 You can't see where it is.

01:48:47.440 But also, they just say, oh, they've been in the water.

01:48:51.000 That's oh, we were looking up here and they're down.

01:48:53.500 You never thought to tell us about the water.

01:48:55.180 Oh, kind of discover it.

01:48:57.340 You got to be a real scuba do.

01:48:58.660 It kind of.

01:48:59.240 Yeah.

01:49:00.580 That was good.

01:49:01.660 That was better than the other one.

01:49:02.660 You went around.

01:49:04.020 But it was what I was like, this is so fucking dumb, dude.

01:49:07.820 Now they're in the water.

01:49:09.200 It's like, so they're not up here.

01:49:10.520 It just was so dumb.

01:49:11.540 Yeah.

01:49:11.700 Where else are they going to be?

01:49:12.720 Yeah.

01:49:12.940 Where's next?

01:49:13.920 In the fridge?

01:49:14.860 I know.

01:49:17.640 Where do you want to go?

01:49:18.720 Still Argentina?

01:49:20.420 Yeah.

01:49:21.500 Bariloche.

01:49:22.540 You know a place.

01:49:24.120 Map that for me.

01:49:25.000 Let's see Bariloche.

01:49:26.800 Where the women swim like swine.

01:49:30.500 Let me see it.

01:49:32.300 You don't know how to spell that?

01:49:33.880 Yeah.

01:49:34.120 I was going to say, how do we spell it?

01:49:35.380 I mean.

01:49:35.880 It's up to you, really.

01:49:36.760 You're a free American.

01:49:37.200 It's up to fucking you, bro.

01:49:38.820 It's up to you, boy.

01:49:40.380 Bariloche.

01:49:41.400 Bariloche.

01:49:41.900 Why that place?

01:49:42.460 What did you hear about that?

01:49:43.240 You just heard about it from somebody?

01:49:44.740 It's so funny when you hear about something when you're a kid and you just remember it forever,

01:49:47.580 you know?

01:49:48.200 You're like, yeah, I got to go.

01:49:49.620 It's time with Bon Jovi.

01:49:51.140 Wow.

01:49:52.280 Wow.

01:49:53.000 Oh, so it gets cold there, too.

01:49:54.320 Oh, it looks perfect.

01:49:55.480 It does look perfect.

01:49:56.760 San Carlos de Bariloche.

01:49:58.420 Looks beautiful.

01:50:00.140 Halifax is beautiful.

01:50:01.860 You've been there.

01:50:02.540 I just went for the first time.

01:50:03.940 Did you?

01:50:04.280 I've been trying to go to Eastern Canada for so fucking long, and my Jews just keep telling

01:50:08.320 me it's not worth it for the money.

01:50:10.460 And I'm like, I want to go.

01:50:12.600 And they go, fine, only winter.

01:50:13.640 I'm like, no, no.

01:50:15.080 You got to be outside during that.

01:50:16.220 Yeah.

01:50:16.440 Like you'll draw less.

01:50:17.620 I'm like, guys, get me out there.

01:50:20.140 And I finally went.

01:50:21.180 I loved it.

01:50:22.760 Weird, cool people.

01:50:24.240 Isolated.

01:50:24.820 Yeah.

01:50:25.680 Strange, different people.

01:50:27.040 Real fucking, what's that movie where they put that guy in a box?

01:50:32.200 And they burned it alive.

01:50:33.480 I think one of them, I think Nicolas Cage did a remake of it.

01:50:36.380 Not match, dick, match.

01:50:38.720 Wicker Man?

01:50:39.420 Wicker Man.

01:50:40.660 Is it good?

01:50:40.780 It looks like Wicker Man-ish, for sure.

01:50:43.000 Yeah, it was great.

01:50:43.720 Yeah, I love that.

01:50:44.340 La Crosse, Wisconsin was a place that I liked in America.

01:50:46.980 Yeah, outside Mount Pelier.

01:50:49.240 Very beautiful.

01:50:50.540 It's just like a perfect place.

01:50:52.740 I've been doing that now a lot when I meet somebody from another country.

01:50:55.060 I'm like, what's your tips?

01:50:56.360 And they go, oh, we'll go to Buenos Aires.

01:50:57.760 I'm like, no, no, no, no.

01:50:58.460 You're from Buenos Aires.

01:51:00.280 It can be a restaurant, a bar, or where you go hiking outside of there.

01:51:04.580 Yeah.

01:51:05.400 And then they tell me, and I put it on Google Maps, and I'm like, I'm getting there.

01:51:08.520 Give me the grassroots.

01:51:09.540 Mira Loche.

01:51:10.280 I'm going to write that one down.

01:51:11.040 And that's La Crosse, Wisconsin.

01:51:12.280 I think it's one of the best little cities.

01:51:14.020 Bar Loche?

01:51:14.900 Bar Loche, yeah.

01:51:16.620 Where the women swim like swine.

01:51:18.760 Yeah.

01:51:19.320 Oh, yeah.

01:51:21.420 There you go.

01:51:21.880 There's Granddad's Bluff over there.

01:51:26.580 Bar Loche.

01:51:27.480 Oh, yeah, bro.

01:51:28.520 That's what we need, more Bar Loche.

01:51:30.000 In America, yeah.

01:51:32.620 And then I would say in America, probably I would go with La Crosse, Wisconsin as a place

01:51:36.000 that I really think is a great place to go tour or see.

01:51:40.040 Just nice.

01:51:40.840 It's like if you thought of an ideal place in America.

01:51:43.960 Yeah.

01:51:44.180 Like, especially like, we're like in the fall, the leaves change color and it's like a cool

01:51:49.400 mountain, but you could still ride your bike everywhere you wanted to in town as a kid.

01:51:52.840 And you have just enough of a little downtown with like some three-story buildings where

01:51:56.300 you're like, oh, that's downtown.

01:51:57.320 Cool enough, two bars.

01:51:58.600 Yes.

01:51:59.300 And everything, but some cool old shops and stuff downtown where it really feels cool.

01:52:03.340 How many people live there in La Crosse, Wisconsin?

01:52:05.180 52,818.

01:52:06.800 So a good enough size, too, where it's like, you know, you'll have some neighbors, you have

01:52:09.900 some good sporting events and stuff like that.

01:52:12.360 You're close enough to drive to Green Bay to cheer for the Packers, but yeah, just beautiful.

01:52:15.380 Right, right.

01:52:15.800 But far enough away, like, we don't go.

01:52:17.740 Right.

01:52:17.960 Like, this is their downtown.

01:52:19.000 So everything, you know, just kind of perfect.

01:52:20.920 This is where DeRosa lives in Pennsylvania, cities like this.

01:52:23.240 Yeah?

01:52:23.680 Yeah.

01:52:24.260 Like, like an hour outside Philadelphia.

01:52:26.780 Pennsylvania's got some beautiful places.

01:52:28.140 Yeah.

01:52:28.340 But like a small downtown just like that.

01:52:30.340 And he's the mayor.

01:52:31.960 Wow.

01:52:33.500 Yeah.

01:52:33.960 You got one light.

01:52:35.980 Yeah.

01:52:36.740 That place is a great spot.

01:52:38.040 That's the kind of thing you do when you're on the road where it's like, all right, I'm

01:52:40.400 going to go.

01:52:40.800 I'm going to stay a few days longer or go a few days early, chill out, then do my shows

01:52:44.480 or stay there and drive in for your shows and go back.

01:52:46.780 Yeah.

01:52:46.960 So you have all day.

01:52:48.700 Yeah.

01:52:49.020 I want to do some more.

01:52:49.820 Like, I think it's maybe after this year, then I would just get a camper and do like

01:52:53.400 a year where I just go around the country, do some like interview just regular people

01:52:57.760 in different places.

01:52:58.780 You're good at that, too.

01:52:59.660 And just have a just.

01:53:00.740 I saw you interview like a school bus driver once.

01:53:02.620 Go touring.

01:53:03.680 Who do we interview?

01:53:04.800 Did you have a school bus driver?

01:53:06.420 Or a bus driver?

01:53:07.220 We have a hostage negotiator coming on soon.

01:53:09.240 No, it was somebody more regular.

01:53:10.700 And we got a native American.

01:53:11.240 A couple of years ago.

01:53:12.180 We had a female long haul trucker, a mortician, lunch lady.

01:53:16.440 Maybe he's mortician.

01:53:17.260 Maybe he's lunch.

01:53:17.680 But yeah, that normal shit that you can get a lot out of him.

01:53:19.680 That'd be fun.

01:53:20.160 Yeah.

01:53:21.420 Who'd drive the RV?

01:53:22.420 You?

01:53:23.160 Or you could have somebody else be driving it or switch off?

01:53:25.540 Probably switch off.

01:53:26.780 I've driven.

01:53:27.220 Or if I have a family at that point.

01:53:29.120 You're looking?

01:53:30.040 I got to get a family at some point.

01:53:31.660 Well, if you do that, guess what you're going to have to do first?

01:53:35.820 Nut inside.

01:53:36.480 Nut inside, buddy.

01:53:38.600 That's it.

01:53:39.160 It's for you.

01:53:39.940 It's all there.

01:53:41.480 You don't say.

01:53:42.540 That would be cool.

01:53:45.680 Me and O'Neill and Matt Egger did one where we did Spokane and we did Tacoma.

01:53:50.340 Yeah.

01:53:50.640 No, Tacoma and then Spokane.

01:53:51.960 And then two days there, two days there.

01:53:53.960 In the interim, we found a fire station, a fire lookout station that had been redone.

01:53:59.480 So it was an hour hike to get up.

01:54:01.940 There's no roads in.

01:54:03.080 We took all our shit.

01:54:04.000 And we stayed up there for like three days doing mushrooms.

01:54:06.660 There's hundreds of acres around us.

01:54:08.760 Wow.

01:54:09.240 There's nothing up there.

01:54:10.220 And it was a 360 deck on top so none of the animals would get at you.

01:54:14.120 But you could be out there.

01:54:15.300 You just found it?

01:54:16.600 Yeah, O'Neill found it.

01:54:17.620 Damn.

01:54:18.300 And the guy was like, yeah, we own this.

01:54:19.600 We retrofitted it.

01:54:20.540 They don't need these fire lookouts anymore.

01:54:23.040 That's cool.

01:54:23.420 But that's all there if you're willing to take the week in between.

01:54:27.680 Yeah.

01:54:28.180 Skiing, doing anything.

01:54:29.820 Yeah, I think some things just get like you want to work.

01:54:32.760 But then you're like, have I done enough work?

01:54:34.460 I don't know.

01:54:35.180 But then you start working so much you don't even know what you're doing anymore sometimes too.

01:54:38.020 Just autopilot, wasting time.

01:54:39.400 And it's funny, I have two different sets of friends.

01:54:41.400 And half of them are like pitying me for not buckling down enough.

01:54:43.960 And the other half look up to me for like paying it back in enough.

01:54:48.320 I think I look up.

01:54:49.220 I think I always admire the fact that you go and do these fun things that seem to keep you alive.

01:54:55.340 I got a proposition for you.

01:54:56.980 Maybe I'll tell you off there.

01:54:58.320 Okay.

01:54:59.200 That's fair.

01:55:00.060 Yeah, I want to come.

01:55:00.640 I want to talk about the semester at sea.

01:55:01.740 That's what I would like to talk about.

01:55:02.840 Okay.

01:55:03.620 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

01:55:04.360 And you do it in New York?

01:55:05.360 New York or if we're in Austin together, we can do it then.

01:55:07.460 Okay.

01:55:08.120 Yeah, I have a studio there too.

01:55:09.580 Yeah, that'd be fun to go to the different places.

01:55:11.100 I've never really gone through and thought about it.

01:55:13.100 Yeah, you'll think about it.

01:55:13.820 You're going to remember stuff as we go.

01:55:15.160 That's what happens to everybody when they're doing it.

01:55:16.980 When they're doing one of the episodes.

01:55:18.020 And then it went, oh, that chick, Margaret.

01:55:20.100 Oh, yeah.

01:55:21.180 It's that moment that I love.

01:55:22.720 Dude, we had a girl.

01:55:24.340 She fucking did a water slide somewhere in Vietnam, which nobody knew they even had.

01:55:30.980 Broke out both of her front teeth and got knocked up by a mariachi player, dude.

01:55:36.860 A mariachi player in Vietnam?

01:55:39.400 I know.

01:55:39.900 What do you mean we had a girl?

01:55:43.600 I don't know.

01:55:44.220 She was just on the cruise ship too.

01:55:46.220 Oh.

01:55:46.400 Because that would be it.

01:55:47.120 You'd land in a port with the cruise ship.

01:55:49.240 You would take classes while you're on the ship.

01:55:51.220 And the program's called Semester at Sea.

01:55:52.640 And it's amazing.

01:55:53.260 You'd take classes.

01:55:54.240 But then once you got to a city, people could go do whatever they wanted.

01:55:57.540 You could be back at whatever?

01:55:58.340 Be back when the ship leaves at like, oh, 1700 or something.

01:56:02.040 So people would come back with drug habits.

01:56:04.620 Some people would come back with amazing stories.

01:56:06.700 People would come back with their teeth in their pocket in a full womb.

01:56:09.860 That's like Fantasy Island.

01:56:10.900 It was just crazy.

01:56:11.940 Some people would.

01:56:13.180 People would stay.

01:56:14.200 We had a couple people that fell in love in this fucking state.

01:56:16.520 They're like, fuck it.

01:56:17.460 A couple people got busted with drugs or whatever, and they just left them there.

01:56:20.420 No.

01:56:20.960 Yeah, rules are rules, man.

01:56:22.700 Yeah, wheels up.

01:56:23.820 Wheels up at this time.

01:56:24.940 Wheels up.

01:56:26.460 Yeah, anchors up.

01:56:28.160 So all of that was kind of fascinating, man.

01:56:31.100 Do you think Fantasy Island was a precursor for Epstein Island?

01:56:33.740 I'm not sure what Fantasy Island was.

01:56:34.840 Was it a real place?

01:56:36.620 No, it was a TV show.

01:56:38.040 Oh, it was?

01:56:38.640 Yeah.

01:56:38.940 I never saw it.

01:56:39.520 With Herbie Villachet or whatever.

01:56:41.460 No, my buddy's dad was in Love Boat.

01:56:44.280 Yeah.

01:56:44.860 Really?

01:56:45.320 What was he in Love Boat?

01:56:46.360 He was a captain, I think.

01:56:49.000 What?

01:56:49.680 He was a captain.

01:56:50.460 Captain Steubing?

01:56:51.240 Yeah.

01:56:52.840 I think so.

01:56:55.520 I don't know how to spell it.

01:56:57.360 Yeah, him.

01:56:57.760 That was your buddy's dad?

01:56:59.660 That guy.

01:57:00.480 Slung.

01:57:01.260 I guarantee you that guy came inside.

01:57:03.880 You think?

01:57:04.760 Dead at 90.

01:57:06.160 He passed away?

01:57:06.640 He was fucked until he was 88 and a half.

01:57:09.060 Guaranteed.

01:57:09.540 Oh, no.

01:57:09.900 This wasn't his dad then.

01:57:12.160 He was just a captain on a boat.

01:57:15.500 He fell in love on a boat and he was the captain.

01:57:17.440 Yeah, that's it.

01:57:18.020 That's it.

01:57:18.440 I can't.

01:57:19.020 No.

01:57:19.360 My buddy's dad was something else.

01:57:20.620 You're going to not continue when you're like, no, I'm not lying.

01:57:22.760 I'm not lying about any of these things.

01:57:23.900 I love there was a clip of you on Rogan when you were like, you're doing the Theo thing

01:57:30.340 and you're like, I can't do the action.

01:57:32.280 I'm like, man, these bees are just exploding.

01:57:35.280 And Joe just starts laughing.

01:57:36.440 And you're like, yeah, they're exploding.

01:57:37.500 He's like, what are you talking about?

01:57:38.300 I go, look it up, Jamie.

01:57:39.180 And everyone thinks you're lying.

01:57:40.240 And he goes, yeah, there's exploding bees.

01:57:42.100 And he goes, yeah, what do you mean?

01:57:44.000 Every now and then.

01:57:44.920 You bring a piece of information that he doesn't have.

01:57:49.220 That's when his mind is blown.

01:57:50.980 How did you know this?

01:57:52.680 Well, he's a library.

01:57:54.200 Imagine going to bed when you're a library.

01:57:56.840 He's a fucking library.

01:57:58.020 It's like you go to the front desk.

01:57:59.020 You're like, hey, do you have this book?

01:57:59.840 And he's like, let me see what I have.

01:58:00.980 And then he shows up with the information that he has.

01:58:02.820 For a pothead, he really remembers it quite a lot.

01:58:04.740 Un-fucking-real.

01:58:06.040 That's, I think, I mean, he has a lot of.

01:58:07.700 He's sort of evaporating.

01:58:08.180 He's a hard worker, but I think he just has an endless memory.

01:58:13.680 And a lust for knowledge.

01:58:15.240 He wants to keep feeding it.

01:58:16.840 Genuinely curious.

01:58:17.900 I'm already like, I know enough.

01:58:19.200 Dude, I know so little and I gave up then.

01:58:22.520 I think that was my MO.

01:58:25.040 Ari Shafir, we got the new special.

01:58:27.400 America's Sweetheart.

01:58:28.380 America's Sweetheart.

01:58:29.260 On Netflix.

01:58:30.080 On Netflix.

01:58:30.960 Congratulations, man.

01:58:31.620 Thank you.

01:58:32.140 Thank you.

01:58:33.300 Yeah, I wanted this one more regular people to see it.

01:58:36.180 And less YouTube people.

01:58:37.560 Yeah?

01:58:37.940 There's lower views on Netflix for people at my level.

01:58:40.620 But it just takes time for people to get to it, too.

01:58:42.480 Yeah, but then also just like, I'm trying to really get through with humor of like, chill.

01:58:48.700 Chill.

01:58:49.540 Everything's nice.

01:58:51.000 So hopefully some people.

01:58:52.180 I've seen some people feel, hey, I put down the phone all day because that's special.

01:58:55.380 They're like, great.

01:58:56.060 Getting through to you.

01:58:56.700 Yeah.

01:58:57.680 Yeah, because that's how they really captivate you.

01:58:59.620 Yeah, it's like, man.

01:59:01.500 Yeah, the closer is the darkest one.

01:59:04.360 Yeah?

01:59:04.840 Yeah, so get to the closer, I guess.

01:59:06.940 And then I'm on tour.

01:59:08.320 Cool.

01:59:08.800 All over America.

01:59:09.720 The farewell tour before I go backpacking.

01:59:12.080 Man.

01:59:13.760 That's going to be nice, dude.

01:59:16.180 Okay.

01:59:16.920 As soon as we're done, I want to suggest something to you.

01:59:18.700 Okay.

01:59:19.240 Yeah.

01:59:19.860 I'm ready to take a suggestion.

01:59:23.040 Yep.

01:59:23.960 Thank you, guys.

01:59:25.000 America's Sweetheart.

01:59:26.040 Ari Shafir.

01:59:26.920 His tour.

01:59:27.840 After the backpacking or before?

01:59:29.540 What?

01:59:30.340 The tour?

01:59:30.840 Yeah.

01:59:31.060 The tour's now.

01:59:31.640 And then I'm going to end that and leave.

01:59:33.280 Let's go a couple more months of hanging out in New York, having fun, and then take off.

01:59:37.080 Yeah.

01:59:37.560 Take off.

01:59:38.160 And then, I don't know.

01:59:38.840 But the UB Trippin podcast will still come out.

01:59:41.240 Okay.

01:59:41.380 I'm gone.

01:59:42.120 Banked.

01:59:42.480 I'm already like 30 ahead.

01:59:43.900 Oh, awesome.

01:59:45.040 And what a great idea, too.

01:59:45.880 The universe had people.

01:59:46.700 So it's all about trips to be able to take in.

01:59:48.380 Like one trip you took.

01:59:49.860 Yeah.

01:59:50.040 Come back.

01:59:50.420 Tell me about a different trip.

01:59:51.440 Come back.

01:59:51.800 Tell me about a different trip.

01:59:52.600 But you just stay in that place.

01:59:53.960 And it's not like, what am I supposed to do?

01:59:55.240 It's like, what did you do?

01:59:56.520 Right.

01:59:57.600 I fell in love.

01:59:58.480 I fucking, Danny Palaszczuk was like, I had dengue fever in Laos, but the whole time

02:00:02.420 in a sand floor hospital.

02:00:04.720 Perfect.

02:00:05.240 Tell me about it.

02:00:06.160 Fuck.

02:00:06.620 Yeah.

02:00:06.920 I just love it.

02:00:08.680 As soon as I finish the episodes, I just like sit there.

02:00:10.620 I'm like, sigh.

02:00:11.300 Like, I want to go there.

02:00:13.060 Yeah.

02:00:13.520 And sometimes I'm like, that was bad.

02:00:15.660 I didn't care.

02:00:17.120 I think sometimes we do an episode, I'm like, how was that?

02:00:19.460 So I'm like, that was the best ever.

02:00:21.120 And I'm like, you guys are fucking, we're all idiots.

02:00:23.200 It is fascinating how, like, the idea of planning a trip is so hectic.

02:00:28.760 And then you just plan it.

02:00:30.880 And then, like, the day comes where you're sitting on the plane and you're like, this

02:00:33.760 is the best decision I ever made.

02:00:35.580 It's the best.

02:00:36.500 You're nervous.

02:00:37.080 You're nervous.

02:00:37.520 I'll do it later.

02:00:38.240 If you just, my booker in Romania, he goes, I'm trying to go to Thailand.

02:00:42.960 I couldn't go.

02:00:43.420 And he goes, you know what?

02:00:43.840 I'm buying a ticket.

02:00:44.780 And then I'm going to force myself to go from six months to now.

02:00:46.640 If I have a ticket, I'm going.

02:00:48.140 And he did.

02:00:48.520 And he went.

02:00:49.140 And he's just like, and then that thing, if you get off the plane, you're still in an airport.

02:00:52.120 Seems familiar.

02:00:52.620 But when those sliding doors open, you go outside and there's a little smell difference.

02:00:57.200 And you just feel like the signs are in a different color.

02:01:00.440 And you're just like, oh, here we go.

02:01:03.640 It hits you.

02:01:04.500 And you're like, oh.

02:01:06.100 And you just got to get by.

02:01:07.740 The cab drivers are trying to hustle you.

02:01:09.360 And you're just like, oh, it's just the best.

02:01:12.620 Yeah.

02:01:13.440 God, it's good.

02:01:14.240 Yeah.

02:01:14.840 We had a taxi took us in Vietnam straight to a bird animal place that had hookers in the back.

02:01:21.060 So pet shop front, hooker back.

02:01:25.960 So how do those go together?

02:01:27.320 Just what a what?

02:01:29.160 What a great.

02:01:30.100 What a let's your kid play with the puppies.

02:01:32.700 Dad's going to go in the back.

02:01:33.820 It was kind of like you see those pizza at Baskin Robbins or whatever.

02:01:36.260 Was that merger or whatever?

02:01:37.440 Uh huh.

02:01:37.860 Yeah.

02:01:38.180 You're like, yeah, I'll take you a couple of scoops.

02:01:41.000 A couple of scoops and a wing.

02:01:42.840 Yeah, dude.

02:01:44.100 I'll take you a fucking piece of pie and a fucking, and a gerbil.

02:01:51.220 Ari Shafir, man, you endlessly continue to create content, man, and put your comment out in the world, man.

02:01:57.140 And, um, yeah, I'm trying to have fun.

02:01:58.840 Yeah, you always do.

02:01:59.940 Thanks.

02:02:00.180 Oh, thanks for coming and hanging out, man.

02:02:01.360 Yeah.

02:02:02.080 Great seeing you, buddy.

02:02:02.800 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

02:02:08.720 I must be cornerstone.

02:02:13.880 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

02:02:19.460 I can feel it in my bones.

02:02:23.680 But it's gonna take...

02:02:25.800 I can feel it in my bones.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 12, 2025

E561 Ari Shaffir

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