This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Erik Griffin

00:00:00.300 Today's guest is one of the funniest guys I know. He's a, you know, he's a beautiful, unique fella.

00:00:08.940 You know him from probably maybe Workaholics. He has a famous character on there. Montez is the man.

00:00:15.400 And he also has been in a lot of other series and stuff. He has a podcast of his own called Riffin with Griffin.

00:00:21.420 And he's one of a kind. And he's here today. My friend, Eric Griffin.

00:00:30.000 Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my stories. Shine that light on me.

00:00:41.200 I'm surprised you don't have Theo water. Yeah, well, we're looking into it.

00:00:45.500 We got Gianni. We just ordered some hydrogen and oxygen for Gianni to mix up for us.

00:00:50.420 In between his auditions for like big movies. He's here interning. What's he doing?

00:00:56.300 No, he's in here. He's feeling himself. You understand?

00:00:59.120 Like, like, so much. Oh, he should be a centipede. How much he feels himself, bro.

00:01:04.000 With all the hands he's got. Unbelievable. Yeah.

00:01:07.100 Anyways, I'm here, man. Thanks for having me. You bet, man.

00:01:11.420 We, you know, we're happy to have you here, man. Good to see you today, bro.

00:01:16.160 Are you? Yeah. I don't even know what's going on. I know. Nothing's going on.

00:01:22.240 I know. What's going on? You look nice.

00:01:24.440 Well, you know, I said I wanted to wear my good shirt today for you, you know.

00:01:27.460 Actually, I just did this movie. I do movies, too, Gianni. And they gave me all the clothes.

00:01:34.700 Oh, that's good, huh?

00:01:35.880 Yeah, so I was like, I'm going to wear that shirt.

00:01:37.720 Isn't that nice sometimes to do that?

00:01:39.600 I know. I know. But, dude, you know what I did yesterday? It's like, I don't know if you follow Eddie Bravo.

00:01:44.500 Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.

00:01:45.720 Okay, so Eddie Bravo.

00:01:46.480 If you follow him, I have to listen to him in person sometimes, and it's wild.

00:01:50.020 Okay, he put up this post of this dude. Okay, so the guy is, it's on his Instagram. So a guy walks across the street, he pulls out a gun to rob a dude, and then the dude cold cocks him, beats him down, and then now this dude that had the gun is passed out on the ground like this, okay?

00:02:08.500 The dude kicks him in the head like nine times.

00:02:12.720 I said, I think that's excessive.

00:02:15.600 What? The guy was going to shoot him.

00:02:17.660 I know, but the dude, the guy, now the victim has the gun. You know, he picked the gun up, and he kicked this dude in the head nine times. I just said, I think that's excessive. You already won, okay?

00:02:31.300 And then I'm talking about all the comments of these monsters that follow him.

00:02:36.320 Saying what? Shoot the man?

00:02:37.660 Yeah, they're saying like, that's street justice.

00:02:39.720 Yep.

00:02:39.960 You know, all that, but it's still excessive.

00:02:42.760 It's excessive street justice. I mean, here's the thing about street justice is it's lawless. You know, it's not, there's no referee.

00:02:49.080 Check it out. Once it was videotaped, it now has a referee.

00:02:54.060 Right, humanity.

00:02:55.420 Yeah, people.

00:02:56.160 People are now like, because that guy could go to jail. Like, that's the sad part about how the system works.

00:03:02.480 The guy on the ground can actually sue that guy. He can sue him and be like, yes, I know I tried to rob him, but then he punched me, and I'm passed out, and he kicked me nine times in the head.

00:03:12.060 And now my neck is, this dude's going to be in court like this.

00:03:17.380 You know, I can't even move my head now, Your Honor.

00:03:20.740 You know, and then he's going to, he can sue that dude.

00:03:24.440 He can't even move his arms. You have to put his head on the Bible.

00:03:26.780 Yeah, yeah, he got it.

00:03:29.120 I know, he's going to be like, I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth. I just, I don't know. It's just the responses are crazy. Like, I'm crazy. Everybody's getting on me like, you know, like, have you ever had your life in danger?

00:03:42.100 Like, what are you, all I said was this shit is excessive.

00:03:45.080 Yeah.

00:03:45.660 That's all. I don't know.

00:03:46.880 Yeah, no, I think, look, man, I think, well, I'm trying to think, say if I walk up on a guy, and I have a gun, and he beats my ass.

00:03:58.320 Right.

00:03:58.560 The next day. I mean, I can't say it. Really, I can't say anything. Like, yeah, in court, I could say something with some bullshit attorneys and a bunch of kind of Muppet shit. But in reality, if that guy takes.

00:04:10.840 You wouldn't say anything.

00:04:11.940 Take cuts off both. If I wake up with no arms and legs, I can't be like, well, dang.

00:04:17.080 Yeah, but check it out. I get you. But if the cops come to you because they go, hey, we have this on video.

00:04:23.760 Right, right.

00:04:24.440 At that point, you're like, okay, well, yeah, I got to say something now. Let me get something out of this.

00:04:29.020 Right. If that's your vibe, if you're like, let me get something out of this, then yes, I agree. And I'm not saying it's your vibe, but yeah, then you do that. You go and get your deal, you know, get your Christmas, you know, Christmas.

00:04:39.620 Let me make, there it is right there. Look at this. Look at this. Perfect. And let me make this point, too, by the way.

00:04:44.220 Are these black gentlemen?

00:04:45.140 No, no, I think that, oh, here we go.

00:04:48.260 I'm just saying.

00:04:50.220 Just getting all the facts.

00:04:52.000 Oh, wow.

00:04:52.980 Wow. I like the voice of racism coming from the side.

00:04:57.520 Look at this. Look at this. Pow. He cold knocks him out. One kick to the head. Two, three.

00:05:02.680 Well, he's angry.

00:05:03.620 Four.

00:05:04.100 Yep.

00:05:05.220 Five.

00:05:05.860 Yep. Oh, that guy's almost like a clock.

00:05:07.360 Now he's going to call the cops.

00:05:09.500 Six.

00:05:10.040 You get it.

00:05:12.100 Dude's out. Dude's gone. Seven.

00:05:14.740 Gang, bro.

00:05:15.920 Okay. Now he's going to get the gun.

00:05:17.760 At one time. Oh, this is like Poirier versus Khabib, man.

00:05:21.500 He's got the gun. Now he's cursing at him. Now I think he's just filming for Instagram,

00:05:25.500 actually.

00:05:25.880 He should be.

00:05:26.900 Nine. There's eight. Okay.

00:05:28.900 Yep.

00:05:29.700 Nine.

00:05:30.200 That's too much.

00:05:31.120 Okay.

00:05:33.180 Theo. Theo. Theo.

00:05:35.600 This is what I'm saying, man. Now he gets his hat. He gets the dude's hat.

00:05:38.840 I think you do eight.

00:05:39.980 Listen. Wait, wait, wait. This is my point. Okay. This is my point. If he would have kicked

00:05:45.520 the dude in the side three times, I'm with it.

00:05:48.700 But that dude wasn't coming. How do we know that dude was going to shoot him in the side?

00:05:51.400 He's trying to kick.

00:05:52.120 He had the gun.

00:05:52.900 But he's trying to kick the Satan to put something in a man. Okay. He's trying to kick that out

00:05:58.340 of that man. Whatever that is in the man's head.

00:06:00.180 This is the Lord's work? This is the Lord's work?

00:06:02.260 Well, look, man. The Lord is wild.

00:06:04.900 People think the Lord lives in a library, baby. The Lord is wild.

00:06:08.680 This is when your 800 number pops up and people are called to donate money.

00:06:14.480 We're here for the Lord. Call 888-THE-OVEN. 888-THE-OVEN.

00:06:20.340 The Lord works in mysterious ways here on Theo Vaughn's podcast. No, listen. If the dude

00:06:26.780 would have broke the guy's hand, if he would have stomped his hand, I'm with it. You ain't

00:06:30.640 ever going to use his hand to steal again.

00:06:32.280 Okay. Well, let's go back. Can we watch one more time and see exactly what kind of

00:06:35.960 occurs? And the gentlemen look a little darker from the video. It could be grainy footage.

00:06:42.040 Why do we have to confirm the dude's black or not? Why does that have to be the confirmation?

00:06:47.160 Because every video of people fighting on the internet is usually black people, I feel

00:06:50.560 like.

00:06:51.300 No, that's not true. There's a lot of white trash out there fighting.

00:06:54.120 That's true. It's about 70-30.

00:06:55.440 Yeah. Who's fighting in the backyard?

00:06:56.600 Actually, it's 70-30. That's true.

00:06:58.480 Who's fighting in backyards? Is it black people fighting in backyards?

00:07:01.220 Backyards? Backyards is white people.

00:07:03.080 If you want to find the black people fighting footage, you have to look at those officer

00:07:06.940 camera footage. Look at this. He knocks them out.

00:07:12.200 Okay, he knocked them out.

00:07:12.840 This dude's-

00:07:13.220 Okay, one. That's the stomp. Okay, I'm with that. I'm done after that one.

00:07:17.040 Okay?

00:07:17.360 You're done after four, bro? You're a little ho, bro.

00:07:19.740 Let's see a little more.

00:07:20.280 The stomp kick, I'm done. The stomp kick, I'm out.

00:07:22.740 But he don't know how to kick, man. The guy has a book bag on.

00:07:25.500 Okay, well, the dude knocked him out, dude.

00:07:30.400 Does he know he's out? Maybe the guy's still talking shit.

00:07:32.920 No, he's not. This dude's out, man. This dude's out. Don't you ever wonder what he's saying.

00:07:38.480 Don't you ever-

00:07:39.140 Ooh!

00:07:39.460 Yeah, that's the one, right?

00:07:40.620 Now he's-

00:07:40.940 Yeah.

00:07:42.000 Oh, that's the one.

00:07:43.120 That's the one.

00:07:43.560 With his in here. You know what I mean? The guy can't speak again.

00:07:46.220 And now he's out.

00:07:47.180 Now he's out? The dude was out.

00:07:49.420 But the guy might have still been jabbering, like, hey, I'm going to shoot you next time.

00:07:53.220 You know, you don't know.

00:07:54.100 Oh, my.

00:07:54.640 The problem with a lot of these videos, you don't get audio with them.

00:07:57.220 But I say this.

00:07:58.240 What would the audio be, Theo?

00:08:00.340 Okay, you be the guy on the ground.

00:08:02.480 You kick that man.

00:08:04.460 Boom.

00:08:04.800 I think what he's trying to do is-

00:08:05.800 Boom. Boom. Two. Okay, go back. Go back.

00:08:07.020 Bang, bro.

00:08:07.440 Can you go back?

00:08:08.280 Not on Instagram. There's no rewind.

00:08:09.800 Oh, I'm just saying, that dude can fight. That dude right there.

00:08:13.180 But the guy thought he couldn't. The guy thought-

00:08:14.720 No, no, no. I get you. No, listen. The guy's in the wrong. The guy's a criminal.

00:08:17.880 He brought a gun to a fist fight. You know what I'm saying?

00:08:21.400 I'm saying, that dude that punched him, that dude is a fighter.

00:08:25.620 I mean, that was a solid pow-pow. And that knockout punch was real.

00:08:30.340 Oh, yeah.

00:08:30.540 Okay? So he, like, good for him. You know what I mean?

00:08:33.200 And what I'm saying is, if you have that kind of skill, you're trained.

00:08:36.800 You know, that wasn't a lucky punch. The dude had stance. He was, like, ready to go.

00:08:40.300 He's ready to defend himself.

00:08:41.100 He's ready to defend himself.

00:08:42.320 I can't watch it again.

00:08:43.320 Oh, you can't? Okay, we're not watching it again?

00:08:44.600 There's 600 replies to Eric's comment.

00:08:47.400 Yeah. You should read some of them.

00:08:49.960 After the second-

00:08:50.900 These people are monsters.

00:08:51.980 Well, you commented. Let's see. You came in.

00:08:54.560 This is what I wrote. After the second kick to the head, this dude is in the wrong now.

00:08:58.480 Excessive, don't you think?

00:08:59.740 Wow.

00:09:00.360 I want to say this is excessive. I'm not saying the dude deserves it or not.

00:09:03.280 You're saying the dude is in the wrong, bro. He tried to take this man's life.

00:09:06.860 No, no, no. Okay.

00:09:07.460 And so what the other man did was, he tried to take half of the man's life out of him.

00:09:11.520 No, but I think he could have taken his life. Listen, if the dude wanted to take his life,

00:09:15.260 he would have shot him and then took his money off his dead body.

00:09:18.460 But he came at him with the-

00:09:19.920 No, I get it.

00:09:20.960 Okay.

00:09:21.360 I'm with you 100%.

00:09:22.920 All I'm saying is, it's excessive.

00:09:25.020 Because it sounds like you're not.

00:09:25.660 I'm just saying it's excessive.

00:09:27.720 I'm saying like, there's now video footage-

00:09:29.820 You said dude is in the wrong now.

00:09:31.260 Yeah, he's in the wrong after the second kick, man. After the second kick-

00:09:34.540 No, bro.

00:09:35.320 Yes, after the second kick. You already got him down. Get out of there. Call the cops. He's down. He's never getting up. You have the gun in your hand. Okay? How about this? I'll step back from the second kick.

00:09:46.420 He was wrong after the third kick. The fourth kick on, that's too much.

00:09:50.820 Eight is when I started to fall back. Because I wait till my heart folds. When my heart folds, that's when I know I'm dumb. And I know when the guy's working overtime. But guess who? But look at this. This man was walking to school. Who brought the anger? Who brought the violence into the vision here? Was this other man?

00:10:05.420 Oh, I agree.

00:10:06.200 So whatever's in that man, that man brought it.

00:10:10.480 Oh, I know. He messed with the wrong dude, obviously.

00:10:13.760 So that dude had to give him a bullet's worth. How many kicks is in a bullet? That's what you got to figure out. How many-

00:10:21.320 Oh, my God. The Lord just left the studio. Okay? The Lord's gone now.

00:10:24.780 Look, the Lord worked, bro. Because that guy is never going to do that again, probably.

00:10:29.940 Oh, yeah. Who knows?

00:10:32.420 Yeah.

00:10:32.720 But that's what some of the comments. Some of the comments, people are like, he made it so he'll never do that again. Or what if he comes back and kills him and all this stuff?

00:10:38.560 All I'm saying is, people are trying to justify what the guy did. All I'm saying is, that justification just means it was excessive. That's all. It's excessive. It was a lot.

00:10:51.480 Yeah.

00:10:51.740 I don't think I would do that. I don't think I would kick the dude in the head.

00:10:53.760 Well, how many kicks is in a bullet? Let's figure it out.

00:10:56.000 It depends on who's kicking.

00:10:57.420 Okay.

00:10:58.080 All right? If Eddie Bravo was kicking, I guarantee you this. If that was Eddie Bravo, okay, it would be excessive.

00:11:05.600 Yeah.

00:11:05.780 Okay, I agree with that. This dude was kicking with a backpack on. He also looked Indian to me. Did anybody else get that vibe? Okay.

00:11:14.040 He wasn't black. He didn't look black, so he's definitely lighter than black.

00:11:17.040 Right, but he's headed in kind of a black direction, so he seemed Indian to me.

00:11:21.600 All right? So I'll say this. Visually, I'm saying visually. Now, Indian leg has very little meat on it. We've all seen an Indian leg, bro.

00:11:31.440 If you get hit by an Indian, dude, I could buy-

00:11:35.140 What if it was Russell Peters?

00:11:37.000 Russell Peters got a chubby leg, bro. Nobody thinking Russell got muscle.

00:11:41.040 Dude, his name rhymes with muscle, and I've never once heard it rhyme.

00:11:46.740 The views expressed by Theo are not the views.

00:11:50.140 It should be. His name should be Ristle, because you know what that rhymes with, baby.

00:11:54.920 Gristle, brother. Look at him, dude.

00:11:57.260 Oh, yeah. He ain't doing nothing, bro.

00:11:58.560 This is not a good video. He looks fat here. Why would you show this video?

00:12:01.860 Because he looks like he is, brother.

00:12:03.460 Did you put fat guy boxing? Is that what you put in?

00:12:06.780 Yeah, fat Russell Peters boxing.

00:12:08.460 Oh, man. That's unfair to him right there.

00:12:12.140 Unfair to what? That's him. How is he unfair to himself?

00:12:15.020 But, no, I love this, Eric. It's a great thing, because you're going to start to think, with all of the stuff, they keep coming down on police, and police are under-trained.

00:12:27.860 They're not paid well.

00:12:29.020 Yes, I agree.

00:12:29.700 You're not getting the best people doing the job, but you're not probably getting people that have maybe some of the most experience or the best training or anything like that.

00:12:41.560 So, at a certain point, who's even going to go do that job anymore?

00:12:47.240 You know what you're saying right now, to me, is the root of the problem right now, and I'm so glad you said that, how you're talking about it.

00:12:53.300 The problem is not necessarily the cops.

00:12:55.560 The problem started with, who are you choosing to be cops?

00:13:00.440 You're not paying them enough. It's a dangerous job.

00:13:03.640 Their whole motto is, get home.

00:13:05.760 Yeah. That's crazy, brother.

00:13:07.480 I don't know if you ever meet a cop. This is like a real motto.

00:13:11.100 They're like, just, we need to get home. Make sure you get home.

00:13:14.180 And I always say, thank God firemen don't feel like that.

00:13:17.100 Right.

00:13:17.580 You know, because they get to a burning building with some kids and, help!

00:13:20.620 And they're like, we got to get home.

00:13:24.740 That looks dangerous.

00:13:26.560 So, sorry. I hope it works out.

00:13:29.100 What I'm saying is, I feel like the cops should be trained like Navy SEALs.

00:13:33.200 It should be five years before you're able to be a cop.

00:13:35.880 You know what I mean?

00:13:36.320 And you, you know, you're trained, you know.

00:13:38.060 And look, talk to any in-shape cop.

00:13:40.300 You know what they can't stand?

00:13:41.900 Fat cops.

00:13:42.680 Oh, yeah.

00:13:43.480 You know?

00:13:44.120 And those are the ones that...

00:13:45.060 Yeah, they call them fops.

00:13:46.300 They call them...

00:13:46.520 No, no. Those are the ones that cause the most trouble.

00:13:48.220 Oh, dude. A fat cop, dude.

00:13:49.600 Look, here's the thing about a fat cop, dude.

00:13:51.540 You say something to them, they pop off.

00:13:54.080 Yeah, but I would, too.

00:13:55.580 Listen, if a cop is my size, I totally get why they need a gun.

00:13:59.420 Yeah.

00:13:59.620 You know?

00:14:00.260 You think I'm fighting?

00:14:01.400 You come at me, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:14:05.280 Back up.

00:14:06.280 You know what I mean?

00:14:06.740 I'm not fighting a...

00:14:07.800 So I get it.

00:14:08.640 So I just think, like, so they're not...

00:14:10.500 And people aren't leaving, like, Harvard going, like, you know, you know what I want to do?

00:14:14.460 Yeah.

00:14:15.280 I want to be in law enforcement.

00:14:16.080 I want to be in law enforcement.

00:14:17.480 I want to be out there on the front lines.

00:14:18.340 I want to be out there on the front lines.

00:14:19.200 No, they're not doing that.

00:14:20.000 So these are people, like, they should be...

00:14:21.620 Cops aren't paid enough.

00:14:22.820 They aren't trained enough.

00:14:24.060 And they're not enough of them.

00:14:25.420 Yeah.

00:14:25.520 And if they fix that problem, then the problems that filter down through there are...

00:14:30.160 These are people out there worried about their life and their safety.

00:14:33.500 But what I'm saying is the job's dangerous.

00:14:36.040 You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

00:14:38.000 Yeah.

00:14:38.480 So, no, I'm saying, yes, you might get shot.

00:14:42.180 You might get beat up.

00:14:43.860 That's the job.

00:14:45.500 Right, right, right, right.

00:14:46.700 Yeah, the job ain't selling shoes, but also you got to put handcuffs on somebody.

00:14:51.240 Like, if doing podcasting, you might get shot, then I'd be like, okay, I get it.

00:14:55.380 This shit is dangerous.

00:14:56.660 Yeah.

00:14:57.220 Theo got to have a gun right here.

00:14:58.760 Yeah.

00:14:58.920 If somebody come in and you pop off, because people are like, man, podcasting's dangerous.

00:15:03.480 No.

00:15:04.060 Now, look, I will say, though, if I pull out my gun and you take it from me and kick me

00:15:08.960 eight times, bro, I'm okay with it.

00:15:11.340 Okay, I'll say that.

00:15:12.620 This mother...

00:15:13.280 This dude, right?

00:15:14.140 I would not kick...

00:15:14.760 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:15.460 I'm just messing with you.

00:15:16.380 No, but I love this conversation.

00:15:18.100 Let's get back into it.

00:15:19.020 All I'm saying is I'm not going to kick a dude eight times in the head.

00:15:22.860 I'm going to kick him in the side.

00:15:24.400 I'm going to break some ribs.

00:15:25.540 Oh, you're flirting then, bro.

00:15:26.700 I'm going to break his...

00:15:27.600 Oh, you want to put...

00:15:29.920 You know, I'm putting the tip in.

00:15:31.800 Yeah.

00:15:32.380 In the UFC, that's flirting.

00:15:34.700 I don't know, man.

00:15:35.180 Them boys out there trying to take...

00:15:36.420 Dude, look, even in these UFC, they take the guy till he's out, man.

00:15:40.680 I get it.

00:15:41.800 But there's also a guy there to step in and go, like, you're about to kill him.

00:15:44.660 There was nobody there to tell that guy, I think that ninth kick to the head, it might

00:15:49.240 have done some real damage.

00:15:51.140 And yes, I get it.

00:15:52.200 People would say he deserves it.

00:15:54.240 I'm just saying, like, damn, are you just that kind of monster?

00:15:57.480 Yep.

00:15:57.980 You know?

00:15:58.400 So I'm not that monster.

00:15:59.900 Right.

00:16:00.660 You know?

00:16:00.940 Okay, so let's say if that man had come at you, what do you do?

00:16:05.100 He would have got my wallet.

00:16:06.860 Right.

00:16:08.020 You know what I mean?

00:16:08.640 I would have been like, here you go.

00:16:09.580 Don't, you know, get out of here because it's not worth it.

00:16:11.740 Yeah.

00:16:11.920 To me, it's not worth it, you know?

00:16:13.580 I think if that guy was really going to kill somebody, he would have done it.

00:16:16.600 Like, that's what I'm saying.

00:16:18.060 He obviously, he just messed with the wrong dude, clearly.

00:16:21.780 That dude was serious.

00:16:24.020 Like, I'm not a fighter.

00:16:25.360 Yeah.

00:16:25.540 You know?

00:16:25.740 I'm a big dude, but I'm not a fighter, you know?

00:16:28.120 So yeah, if you was a cop, you'd pull out that piece then.

00:16:30.300 Oh, yeah.

00:16:30.820 Saw him off right there.

00:16:31.920 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:32.140 Dang, bro.

00:16:32.580 That's it.

00:16:32.880 I feel you.

00:16:33.640 Yeah.

00:16:33.980 But I wouldn't want to be a cop because I know how dangerous that job is.

00:16:37.220 I wouldn't want to, you know.

00:16:38.380 Do you feel like people think you're a cop a lot of times, like a plainclothes officer?

00:16:41.360 No, nobody would think that.

00:16:42.900 Really?

00:16:43.300 No.

00:16:43.760 You think I'm a plainclothes officer?

00:16:45.520 If I could see you and you're like, yeah, I'm also a cop, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I could

00:16:48.680 see that.

00:16:49.680 I'm a retired cop.

00:16:51.920 I would believe that, you know?

00:16:53.240 I could see you on desk duty a lot.

00:16:55.000 Yeah, I could see you.

00:16:55.640 I'm a dude that, you know, can I help you?

00:16:59.260 Fill out this paperwork, you know?

00:17:00.760 Fill out the form, yeah.

00:17:01.400 I'm that guy.

00:17:01.960 I'm that guy.

00:17:02.680 In the movie.

00:17:03.480 Or I'd be like Die Hard.

00:17:04.580 I'd be the dude buying Twinkies at the, you know, and then the thing breaks out and I'm like,

00:17:09.000 you know, we need backup, you know?

00:17:11.060 I'm doing this all the time.

00:17:12.160 We need backup.

00:17:14.420 Do you think, because, you know, obviously, especially in the past couple of years, cops

00:17:19.360 have been under attack.

00:17:20.400 You know, they're always like the, you know, not only are they under attack when they're

00:17:24.040 on their jobs, you know, they're in dangerous environment, like you're saying, but they

00:17:27.480 get, you know, under attack in the media too.

00:17:30.840 Yeah, I agree.

00:17:31.500 I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not anti-cop at all, but I do feel like there's two sides

00:17:36.300 of this and we need to talk about both things.

00:17:38.420 And one of them is like, this is what they signed up for.

00:17:42.480 They didn't, it wasn't, it wasn't government assigned.

00:17:45.520 Right.

00:17:45.860 Okay.

00:17:46.540 They weren't like, you know, they didn't, you didn't get a thing in the mail said, oh

00:17:49.360 God, I gotta be a cop.

00:17:50.680 And then, oh man.

00:17:51.760 So I'm scared of certain types of people.

00:17:54.120 Yeah.

00:17:54.360 It wasn't like Publisher Clearinghouse.

00:17:55.640 Yeah.

00:17:55.820 Yeah.

00:17:56.020 That old dude shows up with a big thing and says, you a cop now.

00:17:58.600 Right.

00:17:58.900 Yeah.

00:17:59.460 That'd be so great, right?

00:18:00.560 They walk in with a thing.

00:18:01.560 Guess what, Theo?

00:18:02.820 You have to be a cop.

00:18:03.940 You'd be like, what?

00:18:05.140 I don't want to be a cop.

00:18:06.360 No, no.

00:18:06.620 These people actually, you know, I had a friend of mine.

00:18:09.200 Do you have any friends of yours that became cops?

00:18:11.680 Yep.

00:18:11.900 I got a friend of mine that is a cop.

00:18:14.320 I've had two friends that become cops that I remember from high school.

00:18:16.620 I wouldn't even say they're necessarily friends, but I remember one guy in particular, I remember

00:18:20.940 him saying like, you know, one day I'm going to be a cop.

00:18:24.340 Yeah.

00:18:24.560 And then, and then, and all these people, they don't know, you know, you know what I

00:18:27.360 mean?

00:18:27.680 He had like a, it was like a revenge job.

00:18:30.380 Oh, wait.

00:18:30.720 I think it is for a lot of people because, well, first of all, in, you know, people that

00:18:34.740 interact with the cops the most, it's poor environment.

00:18:37.180 You know, I remember the cop, dude, when I was like growing up, the cops were always

00:18:40.620 around like, you know, somebody's always calling them, you know, like people don't

00:18:44.720 know how to communicate as well.

00:18:46.000 There's not much skill to be able to communicate.

00:18:48.300 There's no, nobody has their own yard.

00:18:50.340 Everybody's all kind of masked together.

00:18:51.860 So the, you know, the more problems arise.

00:18:54.320 So the cops, the people need the cops, the cops always need to be around.

00:18:57.800 So then there's a lot of people that get, have grudges with the cops, you know?

00:19:02.500 So then, uh, with authority, with authority.

00:19:06.100 Yes.

00:19:06.400 In the same way that you are with your parents or your teachers or anybody.

00:19:09.340 I mean, this is just, that's just, that's, that's, that's, that's the dynamic.

00:19:12.240 Right.

00:19:12.640 A lot of people look at cops as like, oh yeah, they're authority.

00:19:15.460 Right.

00:19:15.820 And then some cops also, they get, you know, a lot of cops were people that were troubled

00:19:21.700 or were always harassed by cops.

00:19:23.420 They ended up becoming cops.

00:19:25.280 So now they're like, oh, I'm either going to do the harassing.

00:19:28.000 We're speaking, we're speaking about motivation right now.

00:19:30.820 Yeah.

00:19:31.140 Why does someone want to do something?

00:19:32.920 And I think that that's part of the training process.

00:19:37.020 You know, it's like when you go to jury duty, right?

00:19:39.240 And then somebody, and they ask questions to you like, uh, you know, have you ever, whatever.

00:19:43.760 And then you was somebody that's like, yeah, I don't like police.

00:19:46.160 Or if you said, I think all black people should go to jail.

00:19:48.840 If you said something like that, they'd be like, oh, thank you, Mr. Vaughn.

00:19:51.900 You were excused.

00:19:52.940 Yeah.

00:19:53.040 And then they'll let you back out into the world.

00:19:56.520 It should be when you get to the door and they're like, uh, can we?

00:20:00.100 You got to go through this six month program.

00:20:02.340 Right.

00:20:02.620 I'm saying they don't, they don't, I don't know if they do that for the cops or not.

00:20:06.920 If they ask them these kinds of questions, I think that when somebody comes in to be

00:20:10.160 a cop, there should be a questionnaire to let you know, after you answer these 25 questions,

00:20:14.600 they'll be like, yeah, I don't think this person should be a cop.

00:20:17.040 Right.

00:20:17.240 I don't think they're doing that because they need cops.

00:20:19.080 Well, the racial problem too, I think with cops, cops, so many times cops run into like

00:20:23.780 black neighborhoods or poor neighborhoods, which in America, a lot of them are black neighborhoods,

00:20:27.780 like, you know, especially in cities.

00:20:30.120 And there's a ton, there's a lot of crime.

00:20:32.940 There's a crime.

00:20:33.460 So they get used to showing up and somebody pulls out a gun and shoots their friend or

00:20:37.300 the, so I think there's more of a nervous energy when they pull into like a black environment.

00:20:41.160 I don't think that that's.

00:20:42.540 Well, here's the thing though.

00:20:43.560 Then maybe they shouldn't be pulling into the black environment the way they pulling

00:20:47.180 into the black environment.

00:20:48.380 But what are they supposed to slowly leave letters and stuff and say they're coming?

00:20:51.900 Like, listen, when you, when, when we're talking about being called to come in the, the

00:20:55.780 army, the Navy, the Marines, when they, they have something called rules of engagement.

00:21:01.200 Yeah.

00:21:01.940 And rules of engagement in war, they'll tell them, Hey, don't go into that village and

00:21:07.640 shoot anybody.

00:21:08.440 Cause you're going to start an international incident.

00:21:10.560 Right.

00:21:11.420 Where the hell are the rules of engagement with the police?

00:21:14.780 Right.

00:21:15.060 Like with all this stuff in the news, right.

00:21:17.200 About this.

00:21:18.160 And then it still was happening.

00:21:19.700 I was like, damn, is somebody up top mad about this?

00:21:22.760 Yeah.

00:21:23.320 Like you would think there'd be some kind of mandate that came down like, listen, I don't

00:21:26.100 care what's happening.

00:21:27.340 You make sure that this is a justified, whatever you did.

00:21:31.680 Right.

00:21:32.000 Let's make sure there's no wiggle room or iffiness to it.

00:21:36.380 And it was still happening.

00:21:37.860 So I don't know.

00:21:38.960 I just feel like this is how the cops are structured, how, how, how it works.

00:21:44.240 That's where I think the problem is.

00:21:46.040 I mean, we need the cops.

00:21:47.360 You know, the first person that's going to call the cops is the same dude that don't like

00:21:50.660 the cops.

00:21:51.180 Right.

00:21:51.360 He's going to come home and be like, damn it.

00:21:53.300 What's wrong?

00:21:53.740 Somebody robbed us.

00:21:54.760 Yeah.

00:21:55.180 Call those pig ass police.

00:21:56.580 They're still going to call the cops.

00:21:57.920 So we have to have a better relationship, you know, and I just.

00:22:00.640 Yeah.

00:22:00.780 I think that's a good point.

00:22:02.100 Yeah.

00:22:02.300 Some better relationship.

00:22:03.220 It's like, is it better training?

00:22:04.560 Yeah.

00:22:04.720 What are the rules of engagement?

00:22:05.780 If you show up to a place and you're a cop and you're, you know, like, and you're engaging

00:22:12.960 with somebody, you know, and they're, they don't like at a certain point you have to,

00:22:18.160 at some point, if it's a criminal, if somebody's committing a criminal act, you have to put,

00:22:22.500 I guess, physical force on where you just leave at a certain point.

00:22:25.640 No, no.

00:22:25.820 What I'm saying is this, and this is, and this might be unpopular, but you know, it's like,

00:22:29.800 I think that the criminals need to be the ones to shoot first.

00:22:33.820 Yeah.

00:22:34.260 Okay.

00:22:35.060 And I, and listen, I get it, but that's the job.

00:22:38.980 It's dangerous.

00:22:40.280 Yeah.

00:22:40.700 You are dealing with, listen, I remember working at a school and like these, these gang member

00:22:45.820 dudes came and was messing with some, one of the kids.

00:22:48.520 So like I had to get in the back of the cop car with the kid to go identify him because

00:22:52.900 they caught him, you know?

00:22:54.020 And I'm in the car listening to the radio and I was like, that's the first time I had

00:22:58.200 like my respect level for cops went up a thousand.

00:23:00.880 Cause it was like on the radio, like, you know, suspect has a machete, you know, you

00:23:04.840 know, it's like, it was like all these things were, it was like all this stuff.

00:23:07.660 I never, I never, I remember that machete.

00:23:09.440 It was like, suspect has a machete and he's like, you know, you know, it cooped up into

00:23:12.800 whatever.

00:23:13.120 And then it was like 10, 15 of those.

00:23:15.320 And I was like, damn, it's just these two in this whole area probably.

00:23:18.180 Yeah.

00:23:18.280 And imagine they get a, like any way they get out of their car, that's why they probably

00:23:21.120 get out and look around.

00:23:21.920 Cause they're like, I don't even remember what they just said on the radio.

00:23:24.560 Dude, if somebody comes running to me with a knife, I'm thinking I'll get out a cake or a

00:23:27.800 steak.

00:23:28.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:23:28.680 That's my first thought.

00:23:30.640 Oh, you got a steak knife?

00:23:31.740 Hold on.

00:23:32.800 Let me get this brisket out.

00:23:35.380 But it's crazy.

00:23:36.220 You're just a loving man.

00:23:36.980 That's what that is.

00:23:38.180 A cake or a steak.

00:23:39.580 I love it.

00:23:40.380 See, somebody got a big ass knife and you like, hold on a second.

00:23:43.200 You're like an old grandma.

00:23:44.580 Hold on, baby.

00:23:46.120 You got a steak.

00:23:47.060 Let me go get this cake for you right now.

00:23:48.580 Hold on.

00:23:49.540 Let me get this cake.

00:23:50.860 Let me get that handling grave for you.

00:23:54.360 Nah, man.

00:23:54.960 But I just.

00:23:55.460 But isn't it interesting though?

00:23:56.880 It's kind of fascinating.

00:23:58.080 It's like there's a lot of levels to it.

00:23:59.580 It's like, you know, cops show up into places that are violent, right?

00:24:02.760 Or places where there has been called that there's something violent happening.

00:24:06.360 Yeah.

00:24:06.720 You know, so they're on alert, right?

00:24:08.320 There's probably a lot of people that once they get there, they're like, oh, fuck the

00:24:11.620 cops.

00:24:11.920 That aren't like, don't want to pay attention.

00:24:13.720 Don't want to listen.

00:24:14.520 Don't want to like engage with the cops at all.

00:24:16.460 Yeah.

00:24:16.740 Which probably sets them in more of a fear, fearful mindset.

00:24:19.460 Not to mention that they don't have probably a ton of training.

00:24:22.060 Dude, I remember I went to a place in Toccoa, Georgia one time where they train officers and

00:24:27.500 it was like this simulation room.

00:24:29.000 They're like, okay, you go in there, right?

00:24:30.780 They have a screen that comes on and it plays like 50 different options of when you get called

00:24:36.440 into a scenario.

00:24:37.760 So you get called in, like it was all types of scenarios.

00:24:40.580 One of them was a classroom.

00:24:41.820 You get called in, there's six people in class, somebody smoking a joint in the back of the

00:24:46.520 classroom, right?

00:24:47.240 It's like a college.

00:24:48.060 And it looks like that on the screen.

00:24:49.300 You go in and you can talk to the screen and the people would engage back with you,

00:24:53.900 right?

00:24:54.180 So it was really, and then also in the corners of the room, they have weapons that are loaded

00:25:00.700 with these paint balls, but that are plastic, right?

00:25:03.060 And so if some of the scenarios you get fucking shot at, right?

00:25:08.720 Yeah, but here's my thing.

00:25:09.760 Right.

00:25:10.180 And I know why they do that kind of stuff because this reminds me of that scene in Men in Black,

00:25:14.440 you know, where it was a little girl with the physics book.

00:25:16.700 That's the one he shot.

00:25:17.640 Right.

00:25:17.780 And he had his justification.

00:25:19.180 What I'm saying is you can't just walk in a room because you think the black dude in

00:25:23.140 the back smoking a joint, well, he's the one.

00:25:25.060 Right.

00:25:25.260 Maybe he got glaucoma.

00:25:26.560 Right.

00:25:27.080 Maybe he got like, you know, a terminal cancer and this is what he has to do.

00:25:30.340 But you don't know that by just coming in.

00:25:31.900 You can't just judge a book by its cover.

00:25:33.520 Right.

00:25:33.820 No, I agree with that.

00:25:34.840 Yeah.

00:25:35.020 I'm not even.

00:25:35.500 And then Ted Bundy, Ted Bundy's over here looking all cute.

00:25:38.520 Yeah.

00:25:38.880 You know what I mean?

00:25:40.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:41.420 You coming in like, yo, what?

00:25:43.000 You trying to holler because you see Ted Bundy and then he's the one that wants to eat your

00:25:48.280 fucking, you know, liver.

00:25:50.320 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:51.240 So.

00:25:51.780 Yeah.

00:25:51.960 He got his little spice rack.

00:25:53.200 Yeah.

00:25:53.440 Yeah.

00:25:55.900 But you can go get a steak, you know?

00:25:57.500 It was just interesting even in this thing and not even like, I don't even remember

00:26:01.060 like if any of the students, I can't remember what, if there were different races or anything

00:26:04.660 on the students.

00:26:05.500 Right.

00:26:06.160 But it was interesting to think like, okay, one kid is going to cough.

00:26:09.680 Right.

00:26:10.000 One kid is going to, you know, somebody comes in the door in the back, like somebody just

00:26:15.340 comes in the door to drop off notes for the teacher.

00:26:17.520 Like there was just so many little things.

00:26:19.680 You were like, one kid reaches for his bag.

00:26:21.820 Now they play it three times on the video and the kid just pulls a book out.

00:26:26.160 But one time he pulls a gun out.

00:26:27.800 It's just like, man, how much was going on?

00:26:30.860 That seems to me like it trains people to go, whoever's reaching for shit needs to die.

00:26:35.520 It's dangerous, right?

00:26:36.500 Yeah.

00:26:36.980 That's what it sounds like.

00:26:37.980 And that's why they do that.

00:26:38.960 What kind of training is that?

00:26:40.140 But there's also, at a certain point, what more training can you even have?

00:26:44.580 Well, I'm saying it's like, that's why I'm saying that that's why you have certain, again,

00:26:48.380 rules of engagement.

00:26:48.640 Like a magician.

00:26:49.460 What if the dude's just a magician?

00:26:50.860 Yeah.

00:26:51.100 You know?

00:26:51.540 A fucking dove comes out.

00:26:53.920 What you doing with that white dove?

00:26:58.680 I don't know, man.

00:27:00.140 I just feel like maybe then you shouldn't come in the classroom like that.

00:27:04.860 Maybe it should be a thing where you're like, everybody hold your hands up.

00:27:07.960 Right.

00:27:08.660 You know?

00:27:09.320 But, you know, I had a cop friend, and I'm not going to say too much about this person,

00:27:13.900 but he would tell me about, like, you know, sometimes as cops, you're in the bad neighborhoods,

00:27:19.340 you get to know some of the kids, and some of them need beatings.

00:27:22.420 Right.

00:27:22.880 Like some of them need, like, you know, why are you in this?

00:27:25.200 Why did you do this again?

00:27:26.620 Yeah.

00:27:26.780 You know?

00:27:27.100 Maybe a quick gut punch to this kid, you know?

00:27:30.680 Oh, there was a kid growing up in my neighborhood, and he was just a, I'm sure bad stuff had happened

00:27:34.780 to him, you know, but he also, he ruined everything.

00:27:37.100 He ruined so many people's lives on a daily basis, man.

00:27:40.120 Right.

00:27:40.520 I'm not saying that cops should have done anything to him, but I wouldn't have.

00:27:43.080 There was a couple kids like that, probably, you know, that really needed some discipline.

00:27:46.280 They needed some discipline.

00:27:46.980 That's all.

00:27:47.420 They needed some discipline.

00:27:48.100 So they're not getting in at home.

00:27:49.180 They're not getting in at school.

00:27:50.300 And they're running around with guns, and they're running around with drugs, and they're

00:27:53.260 running around just, you know, fucking people up at a certain point.

00:27:56.680 But we're talking about the deterioration of society in poor neighborhoods.

00:28:01.720 Right.

00:28:01.900 That's basically what we're saying.

00:28:03.560 Because, by the way, what you're talking about is, if you can Google YouTube, so many

00:28:07.880 incidents of, like, you know, sort of wealthy people dealing with the cops, and it's a whole

00:28:15.760 different experience.

00:28:16.840 Yeah.

00:28:17.200 And they're saying things that they shouldn't say, and they're just going off, you know?

00:28:20.300 Yeah.

00:28:21.020 You ever been pulled over?

00:28:21.520 Oh, I agree.

00:28:22.940 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:23.360 I've been pulled over before.

00:28:24.480 Yeah.

00:28:24.720 And I guess it was scary.

00:28:27.720 I can imagine, though, it is scary if you're a black guy.

00:28:29.940 I can imagine that it is, like, I can imagine it is scarier.

00:28:35.480 I could imagine that for sure.

00:28:36.740 Well, let me tell you.

00:28:37.180 But I think there's a bad, sorry to interrupt you.

00:28:38.760 Go ahead, go ahead.

00:28:39.340 I just want to get this.

00:28:40.160 I think there's a, it's weird how we always are, like, playing, and you talk about this

00:28:44.220 in your act, some.

00:28:45.620 We're always paying for the previous generation's shit.

00:28:50.680 Yes.

00:28:51.320 And it never ends, man.

00:28:52.420 And it's, like, you know, like, so, like, you know, I think why sometimes you have more

00:28:58.140 problems or more stuff in black neighborhoods, you have more poverty, right?

00:29:01.120 And so you're going to have more, dude, when you, when people don't have things, there's

00:29:04.700 more crime.

00:29:05.400 There's more trouble.

00:29:06.120 There's more, not trouble, but there's just more, you know, there's more, I don't even

00:29:13.560 want to say it's negativity, but there's.

00:29:16.060 Malcontent.

00:29:16.700 Yeah, there's more malcontent.

00:29:17.980 Thank you, Nick.

00:29:18.420 That's great.

00:29:18.840 There's more issues that go on, right?

00:29:20.740 There's more people struggling to survive.

00:29:23.440 And the byproduct of that sometimes is crime.

00:29:25.920 The byproduct of that sometimes is, you know, like, communication that's not, like, super,

00:29:32.780 you know, it's vague, you know, or.

00:29:34.160 So I think you get cops that go into enough of these areas, and after a while, they get

00:29:37.860 programmed negatively.

00:29:40.300 You know, they get negative programming.

00:29:42.080 They get, like, okay, I went to this area four times, and every time somebody shot their

00:29:47.440 friend or something, and so now, when they even pull up for a fucking, you know, somebody's

00:29:52.640 cat is in a tree, they're like, well, somebody's.

00:29:55.180 They got their eyes up, you know what I mean?

00:29:56.140 Yeah, I'm about to kill all this cat's friends, so nobody kills this.

00:29:59.160 You know, it's just, I think there's, like, a lot of negative programming, but then the

00:30:02.720 reason that that's even in that neighborhood is because, you know, these, because people didn't

00:30:08.360 have an opportunity two generations or, it's just, like, we're always behind the, I don't

00:30:15.280 know how we catch up, you know?

00:30:16.600 Well, I mean, I hear what you're saying, but, like, I don't know if you ever watch

00:30:19.280 Cops, you know?

00:30:20.460 Oh, yeah, I watch it.

00:30:21.300 Sometimes it hurts my feelings, bro.

00:30:22.360 I know, but what I'm trying to say is there's a lot of white people on Cops.

00:30:25.360 Yeah.

00:30:25.840 Okay.

00:30:26.220 There's a lot, like, there's more white people on welfare in the country than.

00:30:29.260 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:29.720 No, I know.

00:30:30.140 Than white people, than minorities.

00:30:31.660 Right.

00:30:32.000 Because just per capita, there's just more white people in the United States.

00:30:35.000 Right.

00:30:35.120 There's a lot of poor white people.

00:30:36.460 Yeah.

00:30:36.640 And Cops go into those areas, too.

00:30:38.600 Yeah.

00:30:39.120 You know, it's just, for some reason, we're not hearing about the unarmed white kid getting

00:30:43.600 shot.

00:30:44.720 And it's probably happening, but we're not hearing about it.

00:30:47.480 Right.

00:30:47.700 We don't hear, but, yeah, the news doesn't choose to make that a thing, because it doesn't,

00:30:51.200 that's a good point.

00:30:52.220 You don't hear that as much.

00:30:53.320 And also, I think black culture has more of a, black culture is more, they have more,

00:30:58.080 they're more excited about guns, bro.

00:30:59.520 They're basically, they're kind of like Navy, you know, they.

00:31:01.420 I wouldn't say that, because when I'm looking at, you know, I'm looking at Cops, and I see,

00:31:05.920 you know.

00:31:06.980 That's a good point, too, actually.

00:31:08.160 I'm just saying, it's like, the perception that you have is that, because you've said

00:31:11.780 quite a few times now about the urban areas and black areas and that kind of stuff, and

00:31:16.640 I'm just saying, like, there's a lot of, like, those trailer parks and all that kind of stuff.

00:31:21.540 They got guns, too.

00:31:22.300 They got guns, too.

00:31:23.180 That's a good point.

00:31:23.540 There's meth, there's that, you know, there's a lot of poor white people in the country

00:31:27.000 doing a lot of bad stuff.

00:31:28.980 Right.

00:31:29.360 But it's for some reason, so the perception against Cops is that they only are treating

00:31:33.600 black people this way, and black people deserve to be treated this way.

00:31:36.860 That's the perception, and we have to, like, crash all that down and just look at, like,

00:31:41.320 because, like, look, when I was a kid, I first started driving.

00:31:44.960 And you're black and white, so just for our listeners.

00:31:47.200 Yeah, I'm very mixed.

00:31:48.060 Are you definitely mixed?

00:31:48.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:49.500 I'm mixed.

00:31:50.340 So it's like...

00:31:51.260 Can you say the N-word at home or not?

00:31:53.060 Yeah.

00:31:53.820 That's crazy, man.

00:31:54.820 Look at you.

00:31:55.260 He wants to be able to say it so bad.

00:31:57.640 But only in...

00:31:58.420 Can you only say it in certain rooms at your house, or can you say it anywhere?

00:32:03.480 It is what it is.

00:32:04.820 I don't like even talking about what I am, because I think people want to know what you

00:32:08.400 are so they can know how to hate you.

00:32:09.860 Right.

00:32:10.300 So they can know what box to put you in.

00:32:12.380 Do you feel that way about me sometimes?

00:32:13.760 I know I joke around about that stuff sometimes.

00:32:15.620 I just think it's, like, a time and place.

00:32:18.100 You know what I mean?

00:32:18.360 We're comics.

00:32:19.120 I know you.

00:32:19.840 Okay.

00:32:20.140 And it's like, we have, like, a push.

00:32:22.420 There's a level that we want to push the envelope.

00:32:25.520 You know, so it's like, that's such a word that polarizes people so much that it's like,

00:32:30.100 is it even necessary?

00:32:31.360 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:31.640 Because even I find myself in certain situations where I'm like, ah, I'm going to leave this

00:32:35.200 one out.

00:32:35.920 But I have certain jokes on stage where I feel like, oh, this is a good time to say this

00:32:40.360 for effect, a certain kind of effect.

00:32:43.460 Then there's other times that my thought is, like, maybe we should just get rid of it.

00:32:46.400 But, you know, just because of, like, the conversation that it brings up.

00:32:50.200 It's like, ugh, let's just get rid of it so it's not even worth it.

00:32:54.360 Yeah, just because of all this.

00:32:55.760 You know what I mean?

00:32:56.240 It's like, ugh, you know?

00:32:57.620 Yeah, it's like if it hurts enough people's feelings or even if, yeah.

00:33:00.440 Yeah, you just kind of go, okay.

00:33:02.240 Especially if, like, you're saying it in a certain way.

00:33:04.560 And then if it makes people, like, question, oh, what is that about?

00:33:07.740 Then you're like, oh, was it even worth it?

00:33:09.580 You know?

00:33:10.120 So, I mean, I don't know.

00:33:11.280 I mean, it's just I always find, like, I don't like when I've seen, like, upper echelon

00:33:17.100 white comics find a witty way to put this in their act.

00:33:21.060 Yeah.

00:33:21.320 And I see that and I go, okay.

00:33:23.460 If it makes me think about that moment, I'm not in the act anymore.

00:33:27.460 Because I'm just thinking about, like, oh, you crafted that really nicely just so you

00:33:31.260 could say nigga.

00:33:31.920 That's why you did it.

00:33:32.720 You're being secretive.

00:33:33.580 Yeah, and I'm just like, I don't think it's, I don't believe that it's necessary all the

00:33:39.380 time.

00:33:39.780 You know what I mean?

00:33:40.240 So, I don't know.

00:33:41.160 But like I say, it's all perception.

00:33:42.800 No, I love it, man.

00:33:43.620 I love the fact you're always able to think about, you know, I always feel like you do

00:33:48.680 a good job of incorporating a lot of this, a lot of, like, stuff, common thoughts or things

00:33:53.240 that are going on in the social world and stuff like that.

00:33:56.540 Like, you do a great job of incorporating in your act.

00:33:58.840 More than anybody I know, I feel like a lot of times.

00:34:00.200 Well, I appreciate that.

00:34:01.040 But I'm trying to, that's just my experience.

00:34:03.040 Right.

00:34:03.260 But you do a constant job.

00:34:04.880 Like, I always know, like, whenever you get up there, there's going to be something that's

00:34:07.780 kind of a hot topic that you're going to be.

00:34:10.300 And it's like, it's going to, it may go well or it may not, you know?

00:34:13.220 I just think that all these things that go on in the world, going on in the world, it

00:34:16.360 just makes us more thoughtful about what we're talking about.

00:34:18.860 Because I don't want to not talk about these things.

00:34:21.400 Right.

00:34:21.620 Like, I don't want to be censored.

00:34:23.000 So, I have to say to myself, how can I still talk about these things and then get my,

00:34:28.500 the joke across, make people laugh or make people get my point?

00:34:31.440 That means I have to be way more thoughtful about how I craft my words, how I act things

00:34:37.680 out.

00:34:38.120 So, people go, oh, I totally get that.

00:34:40.380 If you don't, if you don't, that's our job.

00:34:42.440 Yeah.

00:34:42.860 You know what I mean?

00:34:43.300 So, like, the Me Too movement and all the racial divide, that stuff has made us be more

00:34:48.880 thoughtful.

00:34:49.400 I don't want to.

00:34:49.680 I agree.

00:34:50.060 I don't want to not talk about women.

00:34:51.660 They're fucking hilarious.

00:34:52.980 They're 51% of the population.

00:34:54.780 Yeah.

00:34:54.920 So, we're supposed to just not talk about all the craziness that goes on?

00:34:57.700 Some of these bitches ain't that hilarious.

00:34:59.060 Okay?

00:34:59.620 I'll be honest with you, dude.

00:35:01.020 I'm talking about the things that they do.

00:35:02.120 Okay.

00:35:02.420 Okay.

00:35:02.660 Yeah.

00:35:04.380 Somebody's been hurt.

00:35:05.160 Who hurt you, Theo?

00:35:05.800 No, I'm just saying.

00:35:07.080 Some of these bitches just keep saying they're hilarious and people start believing them.

00:35:10.420 But...

00:35:10.660 No, I feel like we have to have a quota.

00:35:13.300 I mean, I'm just...

00:35:13.800 I get so tired of, like, that tweets to the comedy store lineup.

00:35:17.940 Where are the women on the lineup?

00:35:19.400 Yeah.

00:35:19.680 Where does that end?

00:35:20.820 Because then people can be like, where are the Indians?

00:35:22.960 Yeah.

00:35:23.220 Where are the Mexicans at?

00:35:24.380 Yeah.

00:35:24.480 It can go on and on and on.

00:35:26.560 You got to be funny.

00:35:27.700 Yeah.

00:35:28.280 But everybody needs an opportunity?

00:35:30.320 Well, then bust your ass and get that opportunity.

00:35:32.400 Yeah.

00:35:32.560 You're telling me that Richard...

00:35:33.760 I mean, he was 20.

00:35:35.440 Eddie Murphy.

00:35:36.180 So, this is some of the funniest men that ever existed?

00:35:39.580 I know.

00:35:40.040 And they're black men.

00:35:40.840 You want to talk about...

00:35:41.860 George Lopez is a hilarious, entertaining man.

00:35:44.940 Yeah.

00:35:45.220 You know?

00:35:46.980 I'm trying to think even if you go...

00:35:49.480 You know, like...

00:35:50.600 I mean, the list could go on.

00:35:52.020 It's just about who's funny.

00:35:53.220 You know?

00:35:53.640 Paula Poundstone, Joan Rivers, one of the funniest humans, I feel like, that's ever existed.

00:35:57.680 That's a Jewish woman.

00:35:58.780 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:58.960 Eddie Murphy just signed a $70 million Netflix deal a couple of days ago.

00:36:02.400 Yeah?

00:36:02.500 Yeah.

00:36:03.100 For a new special.

00:36:04.140 Damn.

00:36:05.200 I mean, I hit up Adam about that.

00:36:07.020 I was like, so, I should expect to get bumped by Eddie Murphy at the comedy store pretty soon?

00:36:11.320 I hope so.

00:36:11.820 It's going to be great.

00:36:12.720 My dream is to bring him on stage, right?

00:36:14.380 Yeah.

00:36:14.620 Don't you want to do that?

00:36:15.280 I know.

00:36:15.560 Like, everybody...

00:36:16.560 You know, we get so excited.

00:36:18.860 Delirious!

00:36:19.560 Beverly Hills Cop!

00:36:20.740 Trade him places!

00:36:21.700 He'd just go through his hole.

00:36:22.700 But then it starts getting bad.

00:36:24.120 I know.

00:36:24.800 Ooh, then there was...

00:36:25.920 Yeah, it was so good, bro.

00:36:27.300 Norbit?

00:36:28.940 Oh, Norbit.

00:36:30.020 Oh, God, guys.

00:36:31.000 He hasn't been good lately.

00:36:33.040 No, man.

00:36:34.240 But I want to go back to something you said a minute ago, man, because it really had me thinking.

00:36:37.100 So, yeah, in my mind, a lot of times I get...

00:36:39.680 And I don't know if it's that the media gets me like that or what it is.

00:36:42.320 Because I think, like, you don't think that how many poor white neighborhoods have just

00:36:46.740 as many guns as poor black neighborhoods.

00:36:49.040 You know what?

00:36:49.320 I never really...

00:36:51.160 Like, if you'd have asked me, like, oh, do people have guns?

00:36:54.400 Yeah.

00:36:54.540 Yeah, but for some reason, in my perception, it could just be my own personal history.

00:36:59.900 Didn't you know some dangerous white folks when you was coming up?

00:37:02.540 Yeah, dude.

00:37:02.940 I was thinking about this yesterday, man.

00:37:04.680 I...

00:37:05.200 Because I went and did this No Jumper podcast that they have.

00:37:08.780 And that guy, you know...

00:37:10.880 And so we talked about a lot of stuff on there.

00:37:12.880 And I was thinking, like...

00:37:14.540 Yeah, I was just as...

00:37:15.800 I was scared...

00:37:16.720 When I was growing up, I was scared of, like...

00:37:18.220 I was scared of, like, angry black kids.

00:37:20.860 And I was scared of kind of real redneck white kids.

00:37:25.160 Those were the two groups that really...

00:37:27.120 That I was constantly in fear of.

00:37:28.460 And it was really equal both ways.

00:37:30.720 Yeah.

00:37:31.520 Because I just didn't know...

00:37:33.960 Some of them seemed so in with their own vibes that it's like they...

00:37:37.700 It was just a risky place for me.

00:37:39.260 And it all could have just been my own fear.

00:37:40.860 Maybe there was nothing to be scared of.

00:37:42.420 Right, right, right.

00:37:43.260 But like you say, perception is...

00:37:46.200 You know, I...

00:37:46.560 Listen, I remember being in Montana at first.

00:37:49.020 I've told this story before.

00:37:49.840 But I've been...

00:37:50.780 I was in Montana.

00:37:51.780 I was doing, you know...

00:37:53.080 Luke's a silly show.

00:37:54.140 No, not that one.

00:37:54.880 No, not that one.

00:37:54.900 Tribble runs back in the day.

00:37:56.160 And I'm in Miles, Montana, which is, like, way north, you know?

00:37:59.440 Oh, yeah.

00:37:59.760 And it's just, like...

00:38:00.600 It's that kind of town, man.

00:38:01.460 No Mo, they call it, yeah.

00:38:02.540 Yeah, it's that kind of town.

00:38:03.560 Oh, definitely.

00:38:04.220 The Walmart's the biggest thing in the town.

00:38:06.460 Yeah.

00:38:07.160 So I'm doing my act, you know what I mean?

00:38:08.860 It's me and this other white comic, you know?

00:38:10.740 They only sell white paint.

00:38:12.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:14.660 They had to check my passport when I came into town.

00:38:17.600 Like, isn't this America?

00:38:18.680 What's going on here?

00:38:20.340 You know, but I remember...

00:38:21.020 What do you have?

00:38:21.260 How much bacon you got on you, buddy?

00:38:23.100 I remember after the show, this white guy walks up to me.

00:38:25.540 He's a little drunk, you know what I mean?

00:38:26.880 He had that look.

00:38:27.760 And he said, hey, man, you want to fight?

00:38:29.740 You know?

00:38:30.220 And I was like, damn, no.

00:38:32.600 You know what I mean?

00:38:33.140 He might have been homosexual.

00:38:35.280 Because a lot of gay men, they don't know how to get into it.

00:38:37.400 But they figure we'll punch each other enough to be tired enough to lay down.

00:38:41.480 Really?

00:38:41.900 I'm going to fight somebody and be like, you want to cuddle?

00:38:44.200 Bro, that's aggressive.

00:38:45.460 I don't know what kind of fights you've been in.

00:38:46.920 See?

00:38:47.280 That dude that kicked the dude in the head, that's what he should have done.

00:38:49.720 He should have laid down next to the dude and snuggled on his neck and spooned him.

00:38:54.680 Don't you be robbing people, you dumbass.

00:38:56.920 What you doing out here with your little bullets?

00:39:00.520 Your punk-ass bullets.

00:39:02.020 Put the gun in his mouth.

00:39:03.140 How that feel?

00:39:03.980 But anyway, wow, this got weird.

00:39:05.060 So the guy says to me, he's like, you want to fight?

00:39:08.080 I go, no, man.

00:39:08.660 I'm trying to defuse it.

00:39:09.820 Because now I'm starting to look around and I'm realizing I'm by myself.

00:39:13.880 It's me and this white comic.

00:39:16.340 And we're in a white town in Montana.

00:39:20.040 Like, literally, anything can happen to me right now.

00:39:22.620 So I'm not trying to be that dude that's like, get off me, fool.

00:39:25.400 You know?

00:39:25.580 I'm like, everybody's going to the whole.

00:39:26.580 You ain't trying to be, yeah.

00:39:27.140 Yeah.

00:39:27.420 The whole bar stops and looks.

00:39:29.040 You know what I mean?

00:39:29.740 I'm like, no.

00:39:30.000 You ain't trying to be Harvey Chocolate.

00:39:31.080 You know what I mean?

00:39:33.160 So then the guy says to me, he goes, I try to defuse it.

00:39:36.440 I say, where you from, man?

00:39:37.380 You know, hey, you know, he's like.

00:39:38.820 Right, right.

00:39:39.240 He goes, I've had to do that before.

00:39:40.600 I hate that.

00:39:41.120 Don't you hate that when you have to pander for your own safety?

00:39:43.360 That's what I was doing.

00:39:43.980 You feel like that?

00:39:44.400 I hate that, man.

00:39:44.640 So I say to him, where you from, man?

00:39:46.060 You know, why you here?

00:39:46.900 You know, he goes.

00:39:47.280 That's most of my life.

00:39:47.920 Man, it's so funny.

00:39:48.660 You said, go on.

00:39:49.360 But this is what he said.

00:39:50.120 I'm going to tell you what he said because you want to hear it.

00:39:51.280 He goes, I'm from New York.

00:39:54.260 You know?

00:39:54.520 I said, New York, what are you doing here?

00:39:56.080 This is the exact words.

00:39:57.860 To get away from the niggers.

00:39:59.740 Damn.

00:40:00.320 With an E-R-S on it.

00:40:01.720 Yeah.

00:40:02.120 Okay, strong.

00:40:03.400 Could have been a Z instead of the S.

00:40:05.300 No, he had an S on it.

00:40:06.440 Okay.

00:40:07.580 It was strong.

00:40:09.540 And so I looked at him and I said.

00:40:10.500 Wow.

00:40:10.780 And so he's saying that just to get a rise out of you.

00:40:13.020 He's seeing how you're going to react here.

00:40:14.640 Yeah, so I went like this.

00:40:15.460 I said, well, good job.

00:40:18.820 Looks like you did it.

00:40:21.940 You know?

00:40:22.400 And then I was like, okay, good job, man.

00:40:24.440 And then I just, I walked away.

00:40:26.100 You know?

00:40:26.360 Because I was like, oh, wow.

00:40:27.720 This is like, this is real.

00:40:29.460 Yeah.

00:40:29.840 This is real.

00:40:30.200 And I have, in my sheltered life, you know, middle class upbringing, you know, going to

00:40:34.280 Catholic school, I haven't experienced too much of this stuff, man.

00:40:37.340 I actually have had great experiences with the cops.

00:40:39.760 Yeah.

00:40:40.000 You know, when I was a teenager, I started driving.

00:40:42.220 I literally got pulled over and got out of my car.

00:40:45.100 Right.

00:40:45.520 I got out of my car and started walking towards the cop car like, hey, guys.

00:40:48.960 Because I thought, what, is everything okay?

00:40:51.480 You know?

00:40:52.040 But I could tell that these two cops, thankfully, were trained.

00:40:56.160 And they looked at me like, oh, he's just stupid.

00:40:59.200 Yeah.

00:40:59.660 You know?

00:40:59.980 And they took me off to the side like, yeah.

00:41:01.860 And they didn't even give me a ticket or anything.

00:41:03.640 You know?

00:41:03.840 But they were like, all right.

00:41:04.460 They can assess.

00:41:05.460 Like, they were like, this guy's not a danger.

00:41:07.120 Right.

00:41:07.340 Okay?

00:41:07.540 But anyway, so I go tell the headliner, because I was featuring at the time for Triple.

00:41:12.200 I was just starting.

00:41:13.320 It was literally my first time going on the road.

00:41:15.680 And I tell the headliner, this white guy, you know, I say, man, let me tell you what

00:41:19.620 this guy just said, because I'm laughing in my head.

00:41:22.000 And he goes, what?

00:41:23.560 Where is he?

00:41:24.200 Let's go talk to this guy.

00:41:25.220 And I'm like, hey, hey, we ain't going to talk to this.

00:41:28.220 Why are you mad?

00:41:29.840 You know what I mean?

00:41:30.720 What are you mad about?

00:41:31.760 I'm not mad.

00:41:32.880 Let's get the fuck out of here.

00:41:35.160 You know what I mean?

00:41:37.380 Let's leave, bro.

00:41:38.700 What are you going to do?

00:41:39.620 You going to go over there?

00:41:40.360 Because I don't got your back.

00:41:42.080 I don't got your back right now.

00:41:43.940 He going to turn around and be like, me and my boy.

00:41:46.300 Eric.

00:41:47.640 Eric.

00:41:49.220 Cut to me running down the street towards the travel lodge.

00:41:52.640 You know what I mean?

00:41:53.020 What the fuck are you doing?

00:41:55.340 Dude.

00:41:55.980 Shit is a nightmare.

00:41:56.880 But anyways, I don't know.

00:41:58.600 It's just, that's just the perception that we have.

00:42:02.340 It's just, we have to, if we could just talk about it, you know?

00:42:04.740 Because here's the issue, too.

00:42:05.960 It's like, I can tell as a white guy that you take some offense to always hearing about,

00:42:12.200 like, oh, it's the white cops going after the black kids.

00:42:15.220 Or, you know, it's like, white people are always racist.

00:42:17.240 White people are always wrong.

00:42:18.200 And it's like, it's a weird place to be in.

00:42:20.900 Because I think that we, that's what happened with me, too.

00:42:24.860 Right.

00:42:24.940 It turns into, like, we're all men are wrong.

00:42:27.520 Right.

00:42:27.640 You know what I mean?

00:42:28.220 Like, I'm lumped in with, like, so once a man, but see, that's their, they have lived

00:42:33.460 through things.

00:42:34.460 Right.

00:42:34.760 So they've lived through things and they've had these experiences.

00:42:37.500 So maybe their guard is up.

00:42:38.920 And maybe they have to look at men and, hey, you don't understand how it is for me.

00:42:41.900 So that's how we all need to start talking about, how do you feel about this, Theo?

00:42:46.600 How do I feel about it?

00:42:47.640 How do the cops feel about it?

00:42:48.920 You know what I mean?

00:42:49.780 And it's like, and then the criminals, we got to, you know, they're still human beings.

00:42:54.760 Yeah.

00:42:55.220 You know?

00:42:55.520 I agree.

00:42:56.320 They don't need to get kicked in the head nine times.

00:42:58.280 True.

00:42:58.780 That's all I'm saying.

00:42:59.680 Stop at eight, bro.

00:43:00.640 If they roll with a gun, stop at eight.

00:43:03.540 No, I think, look, man, it's definitely like, yeah, I love it when people, you know, we got

00:43:08.760 to be able to think and feel around each other, you know?

00:43:11.000 And a lot of times.

00:43:12.320 And we don't have to agree.

00:43:13.420 Yeah.

00:43:14.060 And people don't want it.

00:43:15.320 And people don't.

00:43:17.460 I feel like that's one thing about podcasting is it's like it's a place where we can try

00:43:21.380 our best, you know, to at least, you know, discuss stuff or think about things.

00:43:26.000 Yeah, that's all.

00:43:27.020 We don't got the.

00:43:27.680 I agree with you.

00:43:28.620 Man, I still have any answers.

00:43:30.140 We don't got the answers.

00:43:31.040 We're just talking about it right now.

00:43:32.720 And even if you disagree with me, even if you're like, even if you think like, yo, man,

00:43:36.500 you need to get more informed or whatever it is like that.

00:43:38.540 I'm trying to.

00:43:39.720 That's why we're talking about this.

00:43:41.760 Yeah.

00:43:41.880 And our perceptions of things will be different.

00:43:43.740 But yeah, I mean, I did.

00:43:44.660 I mean, I have felt like, yeah, like poor white people get under attack, you know, and

00:43:48.560 like and that there's no voice for them.

00:43:51.360 I mean, especially in Hollywood.

00:43:52.440 I feel like, you know, yeah, that's a good point.

00:43:54.900 The White House.

00:43:55.400 I don't know, man.

00:43:57.660 That guy's rich white person.

00:43:59.200 Yeah.

00:43:59.440 But the poor white people gravitated like, yes, he's going to get us.

00:44:02.640 Well, he spoke to him.

00:44:03.440 Nobody talked to him.

00:44:04.260 I know.

00:44:05.060 And the other candidate was all like, you know, you're deplorable for liking this guy.

00:44:08.520 You can't you can wait, wait, you're going to criticize me and then ask for my vote.

00:44:13.120 Bitch, please.

00:44:14.480 You know what I mean?

00:44:15.380 Yeah.

00:44:15.680 Get out of here.

00:44:16.580 And it's it is interesting.

00:44:18.260 It's like we kind of at some point we just have to think like, you know, that poor people.

00:44:25.280 I don't care what color they are, man.

00:44:26.880 I never looked like I always related to if somebody was struggling, you know, if somebody

00:44:31.700 was having a tough time.

00:44:32.820 I felt like I've always was in tune if somebody was struggling.

00:44:36.180 I didn't care what color they were.

00:44:37.940 But I never looked at like, you know, like my black friends or mixed friends when I was

00:44:42.280 growing up and be like, oh, man, like, you know, their feelings don't matter.

00:44:46.300 Or if somebody was sharing any of their feelings, like I was always more in tune to that than

00:44:51.400 I really was anything else.

00:44:52.840 You know, you always have you have that great joke about that, too, though, about the black

00:44:55.760 friends come talking about you took all our stuff and you like, where is it?

00:44:59.160 I'm yeah, we live on the same street.

00:45:01.420 You know what I mean?

00:45:02.320 I just told then here's the crazy part.

00:45:04.040 Now I added an ending to that joke where it's like somebody else has both of our shit.

00:45:08.680 Right.

00:45:09.040 They got your shit and they got my shit and you're watching us fight over it.

00:45:13.440 I used to have this thing about like how like I still have because you have a great joke

00:45:18.280 about the fart in the elevator, which is one of my favorite ones.

00:45:20.760 But I had this thing about so good about like talking about, you know, like I still have

00:45:28.300 friends who are like a little older than me that they come from an era where every white

00:45:34.740 person was the man.

00:45:35.980 Right.

00:45:36.500 You know what I mean?

00:45:37.380 Oh, yeah.

00:45:37.880 You know what I mean?

00:45:38.220 That's that era.

00:45:39.140 You know, if you're like 40 and up.

00:45:40.720 Yeah.

00:45:41.840 That's the kind of racism where you like, oh, you out there doing that podcast with the

00:45:45.640 man, huh?

00:45:46.180 Yeah.

00:45:46.400 Like if I would tell those kids, I'd be like, I'm going to do Theo Vons.

00:45:49.520 Oh, you're talking, you're going to sit with the man, huh?

00:45:51.820 That kind of shit.

00:45:52.640 I know, it's crazy.

00:45:53.080 You know what I mean?

00:45:53.540 You sit with the man.

00:45:54.620 And my thing is always like, listen, if you on the bus with a white guy, he's not the man.

00:46:00.380 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

00:46:03.380 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:04.100 Like, if next to your, if at work, there's a white dude next to your cubicle, that's

00:46:10.860 not the man.

00:46:11.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

00:46:13.180 The man has changed.

00:46:14.540 I think that this era of some, this era of white people, they're upset that they lost

00:46:20.000 their chance to be the man.

00:46:21.680 Oh, yeah.

00:46:22.560 Now, I can see some of that.

00:46:23.720 There's like some jealousy of like the, you know, of the era before where like, damn,

00:46:29.260 I never got to be racist like that.

00:46:30.940 I got to love these, love these people.

00:46:36.580 But that, that thing you're saying about the elevator is that exactly, it's like, you have

00:46:40.900 a joke and I'm going to paraphrase it.

00:46:42.260 I know you're right here, but it's like, you walk, it's like you walk in the elevator,

00:46:45.820 somebody farted in there before you, like a generation before you and people still blaming

00:46:50.780 like you farted.

00:46:51.840 Yeah, that's why I say, I say, yeah, I say like, this is how white people now, current

00:46:55.860 young white people feel about racism is like being in an elevator where somebody already

00:47:00.420 farted.

00:47:00.880 Yeah.

00:47:01.480 You know what I mean?

00:47:02.320 And then, and then the elevator opens up and there's some black people coming in and

00:47:05.740 you're like, I didn't do that.

00:47:08.080 That fart has been here.

00:47:11.060 That fart has been here for generations.

00:47:12.560 You know, so it's like, I get that, that sentiment, but you know, if you look at sports, sports

00:47:17.360 is an example of like how long it takes for society to change.

00:47:21.640 Just look at basketball.

00:47:22.920 It was all white.

00:47:23.900 Right.

00:47:24.680 Okay.

00:47:25.000 How long ago was that?

00:47:26.260 Probably 50 years.

00:47:27.100 You know what I mean?

00:47:27.600 Exactly.

00:47:28.400 50 years.

00:47:29.220 And then they let black people play.

00:47:31.340 All right.

00:47:31.800 And then they let black people coach and now they black people be general managers.

00:47:37.520 And now cut to 50, 60, 70 years later, we have one black owner.

00:47:42.360 Right.

00:47:42.560 It takes time.

00:47:43.540 It takes, right.

00:47:44.100 It's going to take a hundred, it's going to take a hundred years to, you know, to change

00:47:48.020 society.

00:47:48.480 Maybe we probably won't be alive to see where people don't care about race at all.

00:47:52.660 You know what I mean?

00:47:53.060 Because the aliens will be here and then we'll have a different fight.

00:47:55.860 Well, dude, some, a black buddy of mine told me that he heard that aliens don't like

00:47:59.980 black people.

00:48:02.460 I was like, dude, you don't.

00:48:03.820 You were like, well, I mean, not all black people, but I mean, it's just the ones.

00:48:11.860 Wait, just the ones that are unlikable.

00:48:14.640 No, there was this great HBO show.

00:48:17.060 It was like a Twilight Zone type thing.

00:48:18.600 I think it was HBO, but it was like the aliens came and the aliens put out a message saying

00:48:24.060 like, give us all your black people.

00:48:26.680 And if you do, we will.

00:48:28.300 I've never heard anything like that.

00:48:29.380 We will.

00:48:29.760 It's a show.

00:48:30.700 Okay.

00:48:31.700 He hasn't heard.

00:48:32.640 And it was, it was like, we'll clean the air, you know, we'll, we'll, we'll, you know.

00:48:37.000 Are they trying to trade?

00:48:37.980 Dude, yeah, right.

00:48:38.640 And so then it was like, what would society do?

00:48:40.840 And it's like, of course, in the end of the show, it's black people getting on ships.

00:48:44.540 Damn, bro.

00:48:48.500 Black people getting on ships and they're like, you know, they're taking away.

00:48:51.960 You know what I mean?

00:48:54.460 Damn, bro.

00:48:54.960 Yeah, it's just like, what would you do in that situation?

00:48:57.120 But I think it, no matter what they say, give us your fat girls.

00:48:59.720 You know what I mean?

00:49:00.180 You know, you know what I'm saying?

00:49:01.080 Like whoever it is.

00:49:02.340 But like when people make things like that, they always like frame it as like race.

00:49:05.780 You know, it's like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm tired of it, but it is what it is.

00:49:09.860 Yeah, I think it's, I do think a lot of it is just time.

00:49:13.160 And the media, they know it's people, most people know it's going to take time, but the news

00:49:18.560 and their shit, they want us to go to war.

00:49:20.440 If you're at war, if people are fighting, bro.

00:49:22.800 Yeah, something to talk about.

00:49:23.840 Yeah, dude.

00:49:24.280 Like I think.

00:49:24.920 Today in the race war.

00:49:25.840 Yeah.

00:49:26.680 And it feels to me in reality, even when I'm at the comedy store now, then, then eight

00:49:32.120 years ago when I got there, it's more, there's more diversity.

00:49:35.100 There's more people.

00:49:36.020 Is there?

00:49:36.960 I think so.

00:49:38.040 Yeah.

00:49:38.380 Well, I don't know.

00:49:39.740 I think so.

00:49:40.320 I think next time you look at the lineup, you might, if you start to count, you might

00:49:43.980 be like.

00:49:44.600 But a lot of those guys do want to, are they calling in and putting avails?

00:49:47.040 Is Chris Tucker calling and putting his avails in every week?

00:49:49.580 You know, like our.

00:49:50.300 But see, why does it have to be?

00:49:51.840 Why does it, here's my point about, and this is the pushback.

00:49:53.920 The other side is that, you know, why does like.

00:49:56.640 Is Martin Lawrence calling and putting his avails in?

00:49:58.820 He does.

00:50:00.160 Well, he does actually.

00:50:00.920 But I'm saying like, if you look at like Netflix specials, for instance.

00:50:04.680 Okay.

00:50:04.840 Why does the guys that get Netflix specials have to be either the ethnic people, got to

00:50:10.920 be international superstars.

00:50:12.380 Oh, yeah.

00:50:13.100 Okay.

00:50:13.420 Fuck all that.

00:50:13.760 Or they got to be the most famous black people in America.

00:50:17.700 But then like Joe Schmoe, white guy, he's going to give me the opportunity to be mediocre.

00:50:23.440 Yeah.

00:50:23.940 Okay.

00:50:24.160 That's all I'm saying.

00:50:25.280 Dude, look, bro.

00:50:26.320 I'll be mediocre on Netflix.

00:50:28.120 Like a lot of, like half the white motherfuckers that got specials on Netflix, I want to be

00:50:33.100 just as mediocre as them.

00:50:34.360 I know.

00:50:34.740 Give me that opportunity.

00:50:35.960 Yeah.

00:50:36.120 You know what I mean?

00:50:36.480 But I have to be like, at the top of my game, I got to be like, you know what I mean?

00:50:39.500 Why?

00:50:40.060 And you better look at, and it's even some of the ladies, you better look at female than

00:50:42.860 half the ladies that gave them two out there, bro.

00:50:44.840 I know you were male, but I'm just saying.

00:50:47.500 But look, I, look, dude.

00:50:48.800 You look at me like that.

00:50:49.540 I never.

00:50:51.000 You the one with the bitch hair.

00:50:52.220 What are you talking about?

00:50:52.680 I know.

00:50:53.060 You probably got a perm comb at home.

00:50:56.680 What are you talking about?

00:50:58.500 If you could do like this, I don't want to hear you.

00:51:02.360 If you could give it a little.

00:51:04.240 Oh, shit.

00:51:05.060 My hair is luscious today.

00:51:06.560 Damn, it's crazy out.

00:51:09.340 Oh, it's already April?

00:51:11.660 If you hit it with that.

00:51:18.420 If you look like you a white chick in a black video, you know what I mean?

00:51:21.740 Like a rapper's video, if your hair is just, please put that in slow-mo when you see his

00:51:27.940 hair, just.

00:51:31.820 It's like, she's my two pie.

00:51:37.160 I don't know.

00:51:37.800 But it's also interesting, man.

00:51:39.160 I think shit, everything, you know, like race makes things also exciting, bro.

00:51:43.300 Like it's fun.

00:51:44.360 It makes things exciting, dude.

00:51:45.700 If everybody was the same, it would all be boring, bro.

00:51:48.320 It's nice to have, you know, you got a little bit of, you know, that people are different.

00:51:52.660 It's all going to end up probably in a hodgepodge porridge down the road.

00:51:56.160 Yeah, we're all going to start looking like me.

00:51:57.400 Or it's going to be a war.

00:51:58.540 Yeah, there'll be some crazy wars at start.

00:52:00.520 But I think the wars next time wouldn't be based on like, people won't team up based

00:52:04.340 on like their ethnicities and stuff like that.

00:52:07.540 Next time they'll team up more based on not even their religious beliefs, but just what

00:52:11.500 they believe in, maybe in their hearts and stuff as humans.

00:52:13.840 No, well, religion's still there.

00:52:15.900 That's still, religion's still a huge part of it.

00:52:18.280 You know, I think economics are going to be the reason why we even go to war.

00:52:21.920 Water, you know, it's going to be things like that.

00:52:23.960 It's going to be resources are going to be probably the next fight.

00:52:26.380 Yeah.

00:52:26.840 You know, then what do you do?

00:52:27.960 Like, you know, it's like the haves.

00:52:28.840 We're already in a haves and have nots situation right now.

00:52:32.160 Yeah, I agree.

00:52:32.600 It's more of that than anything else.

00:52:34.280 Yeah.

00:52:35.380 It's interesting, man.

00:52:36.960 But also it's like, yeah, this is our life.

00:52:39.180 This is it, you know?

00:52:40.520 And it's, yeah, it's like, this is it.

00:52:43.300 This is the time we got put into in existence.

00:52:45.720 Like, this is what's going on.

00:52:47.420 I know we're going to look back and be like, damn, why was I so worried about that instead

00:52:50.280 of living?

00:52:50.900 I know, huh?

00:52:51.560 We just got to live.

00:52:52.320 Go on vacations.

00:52:53.340 Like, meet people.

00:52:54.220 You know what I mean?

00:52:54.840 Yeah.

00:52:55.200 I just think that like, if you hate somebody, if you took the opportunity of this person you

00:52:58.540 think you hate for whatever reason it is, if you took the time to be like, hey,

00:53:02.160 what's up?

00:53:03.260 Like, tell me about you.

00:53:04.940 Right.

00:53:05.260 Like, what's going on in your world?

00:53:06.420 You know, you'd be surprised.

00:53:07.300 You know, I don't know if you know who Larry Elder is.

00:53:09.400 Yeah, he's going to come on here.

00:53:10.580 Oh, that's great.

00:53:11.300 You know what?

00:53:11.780 Larry Elder, I was looking at this, it's not a documentary, but he was like, it's this

00:53:14.840 interview thing that he did.

00:53:16.180 And he's like this conservative black political talk show host type guy, you know?

00:53:22.760 But he's got a hard stance against black people.

00:53:25.300 He wants black people to, you know, stop making excuses, stop with your victim mentality

00:53:29.100 and all that stuff, right?

00:53:30.500 And, you know, I used to be like, whoa, dude, a little harsh.

00:53:32.940 What's going on?

00:53:33.500 But then I heard his story.

00:53:35.040 You know, the story about his father, how hard it was for his dad and what his dad did

00:53:40.600 and how they didn't talk for 10 years and how he pushed him to be better and all this

00:53:44.680 stuff.

00:53:45.100 And I understand that his experience framed how he feels about the world.

00:53:50.700 Right.

00:53:50.960 And I think that if we took the time to find out people's experience first and then find

00:53:56.380 out why they feel the way they feel, then we can make a judgment on what we feel about

00:54:01.400 them.

00:54:01.800 But we just jump quickly to like racism or calling somebody like that Uncle Tom or, you

00:54:06.900 know, we jump to those conclusions too fast.

00:54:09.440 And I just think that we need to take some time to really communicate.

00:54:12.400 And you would think that in the social media world that we now have access to be able to

00:54:17.360 talk to people more frequently and more directly, you would think that we'd be able to try to

00:54:22.880 do that.

00:54:23.340 But instead, that thing is being used as like a way of like spewing hatred and single-mindedness

00:54:29.360 and closed-mindedness.

00:54:30.540 And it's just like, it's a shame to me.

00:54:32.420 Yeah.

00:54:32.900 Yeah.

00:54:33.240 And it's crazy how people can be that way online and not that.

00:54:35.760 And they're the, but the truth is some of them aren't even that way in person.

00:54:38.500 Oh, they for sure aren't that way in person.

00:54:39.880 A lot of cowards out there.

00:54:41.140 Yeah.

00:54:41.320 You're a coward, most of you.

00:54:43.480 And a lot of the, like one thing that podcasting doesn't do, which I think is something that

00:54:48.320 separates it as a news source, even than the regular news media, is they don't use tweets

00:54:56.080 and that kind of thing.

00:54:57.140 Like they'll look at them sometimes, but they don't use that as like the basis for an article

00:55:02.220 or the, like two or three people with no even avatar said something.

00:55:07.660 I know.

00:55:08.100 So now suddenly, you know, Tom Brady can't take his daughter on a vacation or something.

00:55:12.220 You know, like it's just.

00:55:14.020 Well, Twitter's not as popular as you really, as you really think it is.

00:55:17.500 Twitter's gross, bro.

00:55:18.120 But, but, but first of all, that's only like the coastal, like these like elite cities.

00:55:22.720 Or it's also just fucktards that aren't even working, bro.

00:55:25.000 Like they have a lot of people that aren't even working, aren't even doing anything and

00:55:28.540 just sitting there tweeting.

00:55:29.620 They're just sitting there causing a ruckus.

00:55:31.380 You know, you got people have, there's somebody they had the other day said she had 740,000 tweets.

00:55:37.000 Oh my God.

00:55:38.100 Bitch die.

00:55:38.940 Okay.

00:55:40.900 Bitch die.

00:55:42.340 And you got rich people that are fucking rich-tarded, bro.

00:55:45.080 That's what I call it, dude.

00:55:46.180 You got fucking like Cher and you got like.

00:55:49.480 Cher is rich-tarded.

00:55:50.720 Yeah, dude.

00:55:51.580 Yelling at everybody how to control the border, how to do this and that.

00:55:54.960 We don't live there.

00:55:56.700 You know, I have some ideas maybe of what I think, you know, a good idea.

00:55:59.760 But what's it like for people that live right there?

00:56:01.720 You're a billionaire.

00:56:03.180 You know what I'm saying?

00:56:03.620 Build a bridge to your fucking joint.

00:56:05.440 Yeah, and you ain't living in a place where the door is to the street.

00:56:08.060 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:08.660 Okay?

00:56:09.120 I mean, when you live in like that, then talk to me about security.

00:56:12.600 Yeah.

00:56:13.000 Ryan Callen has that thing about that.

00:56:14.720 It's like, that's why you have locks on your door.

00:56:16.380 Yeah.

00:56:16.880 You know what I mean?

00:56:17.400 Yeah, the whole border thing is like, again, it's like an issue that is like layered.

00:56:22.500 This is a result of not taking care of business.

00:56:25.520 Agreed.

00:56:26.020 So this is where we are now.

00:56:27.360 Right.

00:56:27.700 So what do we do about this now?

00:56:29.360 Because nobody wants to definitively say.

00:56:31.380 Because even these like pansy liberal fucks are not going to be like, they're not going to say out loud, just let everybody in.

00:56:38.640 Just let them all in.

00:56:39.840 Just let them in.

00:56:40.860 You know, they're not saying that.

00:56:42.000 They're implying it, you know?

00:56:43.860 Right.

00:56:44.400 It's a lot of implications.

00:56:45.720 Yeah.

00:56:46.000 Because it makes them feel justified.

00:56:47.440 Right.

00:56:47.820 Oh, I feel like I'm virtue signaling right now when I, you know, oh, yeah.

00:56:51.260 Oh, look at the kids in cages and all this kind of stuff.

00:56:53.680 I don't know what's going on with that.

00:56:54.800 I mean, I hope that that's not like continuing, you know?

00:56:57.780 But it's like, hey, so like in the same way that you say it was street justice, this dude with the gun, getting kicked in the head nine times.

00:57:05.540 If you're breaking the law, you're sneaking across illegally.

00:57:10.160 With your kid.

00:57:11.080 Yeah.

00:57:11.460 You're putting your kid in danger.

00:57:13.180 You brought the kid and now we have to now take care of your kid, take care of you, treat you like, you know, treat you, put you up at the holiday end.

00:57:21.840 What are we supposed to do?

00:57:22.660 Yeah.

00:57:22.980 You know what I mean?

00:57:23.340 So that's like, that's what, that's what those people think.

00:57:25.740 That's how they think about it.

00:57:26.800 And cages, you could read, I mean, you could say camps, you could say there's never going to be a comfortable term, but they, it's not like they, somebody's just going to show up and build, you know, if you want to help out Chelsea Handler, go down there and build, you know, 700 Hampton Inns right on the border.

00:57:40.300 You know what I'm saying?

00:57:41.700 Yeah.

00:57:41.780 Do something.

00:57:43.500 All those people, they have plenty of rooms in their houses.

00:57:47.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:57:48.060 That's like, you know what?

00:57:49.140 That's what we'll do.

00:57:50.020 Hey, liberal Hollywood elite that are complaining about how the kids are being treated on the border.

00:57:55.720 Yeah.

00:57:56.060 Open up your homes.

00:57:57.060 Yeah.

00:57:57.280 And let's let, you know, let's let two or three families stay.

00:58:01.040 Yeah, bring a familiar.

00:58:02.100 Yeah.

00:58:02.540 In your big house and help them out, you know.

00:58:04.560 I think it would be great.

00:58:05.560 No, to cut to those people being like, well, since you're here.

00:58:08.000 Yeah.

00:58:08.580 The gardening equipment.

00:58:09.820 I know.

00:58:10.600 No.

00:58:11.880 It's over there.

00:58:13.060 Wouldn't that be a great video?

00:58:14.040 You send one of those families to like one of those rich people's doors.

00:58:16.700 Yeah.

00:58:17.080 And they're going to think they're there to work.

00:58:19.960 Exactly.

00:58:20.460 Wouldn't that be a great sketch, bro?

00:58:23.160 Dude, that would be a great sketch, dude.

00:58:25.280 Well, we'll do it.

00:58:25.760 Let's do it.

00:58:26.080 Dude, you and me should do a sketch show, man.

00:58:27.300 We should always, remember when we weren't as like famous, you know?

00:58:31.280 Like now you're like, you know, you're like.

00:58:32.380 We're not famous, man.

00:58:33.300 But you're knocking on Rogan's door right now.

00:58:35.160 No, we are alarming.

00:58:36.340 You're like, get out the way I'm.

00:58:37.220 All we're doing is alarming people around the country, dude.

00:58:39.680 With fucking.

00:58:40.680 What's the haircut?

00:58:41.080 With mediocre comedy.

00:58:43.260 I know.

00:58:43.920 But with our powers combined, that's called synergy.

00:58:46.180 Oh, we look like a lesbian couple.

00:58:47.220 Yeah.

00:58:47.500 We got to get.

00:58:48.000 Why am I lesbian all of a sudden?

00:58:49.660 Bro, you definitely.

00:58:50.680 Oh, my God.

00:58:51.880 You're the other side of it.

00:58:53.540 I'm the other side of it.

00:58:54.740 Yeah, dude.

00:58:55.820 I'm the wild one, and you have the one that has your shit put together.

00:58:58.640 Eric, you look kind of like a softball coach.

00:59:01.060 Of course.

00:59:01.480 You look like a woman's softball coach.

00:59:02.900 Oh, now I'm a softball coach, because on my podcast, I was the help.

00:59:05.860 Remember?

00:59:06.720 Remember, I was a butler when you said before, right?

00:59:09.960 Gianni races, man.

00:59:10.940 Nick, why don't you help us out here?

00:59:12.180 I watched.

00:59:12.760 It was a bellhop specifically, not butler.

00:59:15.240 Now I can see you being a butler.

00:59:15.920 Fine line.

00:59:16.580 You see?

00:59:16.940 Oh, wow.

00:59:18.060 You know what?

00:59:18.780 I'm glad to be here to see the source.

00:59:22.200 This is the source right now.

00:59:23.460 This is like the Matrix, and you're the white dude in the fucking suit, and I'm here like

00:59:27.520 you're telling me the truth right now.

00:59:29.960 I'm going back to Zion.

00:59:32.280 Do you think that racism ... At this point, I feel like racism can be all ways.

00:59:37.700 Oh, for sure.

00:59:38.780 People are just ...

00:59:39.820 I don't think everybody's racist, man.

00:59:41.840 I think some people are tribal.

00:59:43.060 I think there's a ... I think there's a certain ... What racism really is is to have power

00:59:48.540 over people and use that power to keep people back.

00:59:52.820 I agree.

00:59:53.160 Not everybody's doing that.

00:59:54.380 Right.

00:59:54.860 I don't think a lot of people are doing that.

00:59:56.900 Right.

00:59:57.300 Do you think they are?

00:59:58.080 I don't think a lot of ... It's still happening, man, obviously.

01:00:01.380 I think in another two generations, even that probably won't be happening.

01:00:04.340 I think some of it is stuff that's ingrained in people a little bit.

01:00:07.500 Some of it comes from bad experiences they might have had.

01:00:09.820 But you're talking about prejudice.

01:00:11.560 Okay.

01:00:12.420 Okay.

01:00:12.740 Being prejudiced is different from being racist, and I think a lot of people are prejudiced.

01:00:17.540 Right.

01:00:18.120 They have things about ...

01:00:19.740 They have their prejudices.

01:00:20.560 Yeah.

01:00:20.740 Yeah, exactly.

01:00:21.340 Short people might be ... I don't like tall people.

01:00:23.320 Yeah.

01:00:24.040 Oh, yeah.

01:00:24.860 Chicks with no money.

01:00:26.360 I don't like young guys that are caring and loving.

01:00:30.340 You know?

01:00:31.500 I want that old man with that bread.

01:00:33.780 I'm just saying.

01:00:34.740 Dude, look, nobody thinking you and your grand ... Let me tell you this.

01:00:37.680 All these thoughts out here in LA, all right?

01:00:39.840 All these sugar babies, all right?

01:00:41.720 Nobody thinking you and your granddaddy going to sushi every week, okay?

01:00:46.180 Yeah.

01:00:46.780 Nobody buying that you and Pop Pop having a little sashami, bro.

01:00:51.380 In defense of that.

01:00:53.300 Okay.

01:00:54.120 Not everybody is in a situation like that for that reason.

01:00:57.860 I agree.

01:00:59.020 We're in our mid-40s, okay?

01:01:00.880 Right.

01:01:01.180 A lot of the women are trying to survive.

01:01:02.600 No, not to ... Forget the women.

01:01:04.060 These guys in their mid-40s who are not married, no kids.

01:01:07.400 Let's say you still want to have a kid, right?

01:01:10.780 Who are you going to get with?

01:01:11.840 Who's the relationship you're going to start?

01:01:13.740 You ain't going to start with somebody your age.

01:01:15.720 Right.

01:01:16.240 That's like going to the pound and getting a three-legged dog.

01:01:18.740 You know what I mean?

01:01:19.560 That's true.

01:01:20.100 You don't start with a three-legged dog.

01:01:22.060 Yeah.

01:01:22.160 You know?

01:01:22.900 If you have a dog and it loses its leg, you keep it because you love it.

01:01:26.280 Yeah.

01:01:26.480 You know?

01:01:26.660 You're not getting rid of it.

01:01:27.560 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:27.940 But you ain't open it with the two-legged dog.

01:01:30.520 You know what I'm saying?

01:01:31.380 Oh, yeah.

01:01:31.680 You're going to fucking get that little beach on.

01:01:33.320 Yeah.

01:01:34.600 You're getting that well-bred ...

01:01:36.940 That's true.

01:01:38.200 You're going to the puppy mill.

01:01:39.500 You know what I mean?

01:01:39.880 Wherever that shit is.

01:01:40.660 I'm just saying it's not all situations of an older guy and younger woman is all what

01:01:45.500 the perception of it is.

01:01:46.820 You're right.

01:01:47.160 It's just a matter of biology, too.

01:01:49.000 You know what I mean?

01:01:49.420 If you're somebody that doesn't want to have kids anymore, you've decided, I don't want

01:01:52.140 to be a dad.

01:01:52.560 I don't think I want to have kids.

01:01:53.600 Or maybe I'll adopt.

01:01:54.780 Then you could open up your spectrum of who you could date.

01:01:57.860 Then, yes, you could find a nice woman in her late 30s, early 40s.

01:02:01.720 Because they're beautiful.

01:02:02.780 They're out there.

01:02:03.560 They got money.

01:02:04.180 They're taking care of business.

01:02:05.020 They know what they want in bed.

01:02:06.240 They know how to act.

01:02:07.380 They got the hair.

01:02:08.000 Yeah.

01:02:08.500 Their place is clean.

01:02:10.480 Yeah.

01:02:10.820 Their place is clean.

01:02:11.600 All that kind of stuff.

01:02:12.560 They got their thoughts in order.

01:02:15.700 They know who they are.

01:02:16.700 Yeah.

01:02:17.040 They got a dream journal by the bed.

01:02:18.880 You know what I'm saying?

01:02:19.740 They got their vision board that's in the closet that never got fulfilled.

01:02:23.340 Yeah.

01:02:23.580 You know what I mean?

01:02:24.020 It's like they know.

01:02:25.580 Those are vibrant, beautiful women.

01:02:28.020 Yeah.

01:02:28.220 But if you're somebody that's like, well, I still want to have kids.

01:02:31.500 I'm not saying a 40-year-old woman can't have a healthy kid.

01:02:34.620 But if we're talking about starting a relationship, it's going to be risky.

01:02:37.820 He's going to be risky, man.

01:02:38.840 But what I'm saying is I start dating you.

01:02:40.700 I got to talk about that day one.

01:02:42.600 Oh, you're 40?

01:02:43.300 You want to have a baby?

01:02:44.140 Right.

01:02:44.420 Let's go do it.

01:02:45.480 And then, you know, maybe I want three kids.

01:02:48.340 If that's the case, then you got to start.

01:02:50.220 Especially if she got a little cooler by the table with her eggs in it.

01:02:54.380 That's right.

01:02:55.000 Yeah.

01:02:55.840 A lot of these girls, they got that little igloo cooler with the eggs in it.

01:02:58.800 Now, how do you feel about that?

01:03:00.100 So what if you met a woman?

01:03:01.000 She's 38.

01:03:01.960 Well, first of all, my dad was 70 when I was born.

01:03:03.640 So I know he was trying to have a second family.

01:03:05.120 So I really should.

01:03:06.060 That's what I'm saying.

01:03:06.880 He was just trying.

01:03:07.620 And he probably was still.

01:03:09.000 I'm trying to think.

01:03:09.400 How old was your mom?

01:03:10.340 My mom was 32 when I was born.

01:03:12.080 So he was still trying to probably.

01:03:14.180 Yeah, he was a pimp, huh?

01:03:16.700 Yeah, he just wanted to have more kids.

01:03:18.660 Did he have money?

01:03:18.940 He wanted to be alive.

01:03:19.840 No money.

01:03:20.440 He just had game, huh?

01:03:21.880 Dude, my dad, the best thing, man, one of the best things about him,

01:03:24.100 he bought a car off a couple of brothers that lived in a neighborhood next door

01:03:27.160 and had these 22s in the back, right?

01:03:29.020 And he couldn't even hear.

01:03:29.780 So he'd be rolling around, bro, listening to NPR with the craziest bass you've ever heard, bro.

01:03:36.240 Just pull hard, bro.

01:03:39.200 Good day.

01:03:41.240 It was insane, dude.

01:03:43.020 People looking at us like, what in the fuck is going on?

01:03:44.960 Do you want to be an old dad?

01:03:47.180 You know, I don't think so.

01:03:49.300 But then sometimes the crazy part is I have such a tough time.

01:03:53.500 Well, now you're going to be.

01:03:55.520 It's too late.

01:03:56.580 We're going to be old dads.

01:03:58.140 No, but I'm talking you're going to go double old, bro.

01:04:00.580 That's my dad went double old.

01:04:02.040 But when your kid is 20 and you like, you know, like right now if we had kids.

01:04:06.480 I'd be 59 when my kid's 20.

01:04:07.900 It's what I'm saying.

01:04:08.500 We're going to be old.

01:04:09.640 You know what I mean?

01:04:10.180 That ain't that old, bro.

01:04:11.580 It's old, okay?

01:04:13.180 Do you think it's old?

01:04:14.300 Gianni's like 14 or something.

01:04:15.520 It's not that old.

01:04:17.300 My dad's like 55, so it's like kind of in the same.

01:04:20.600 Yeah, but how many brothers?

01:04:21.400 You're Italian.

01:04:22.240 You've got like 18 brothers and sisters.

01:04:24.780 Yeah, two brothers.

01:04:25.640 Two of your cousins are fucking right now.

01:04:28.000 You know what I mean?

01:04:28.400 It's that kind of.

01:04:30.200 I don't think that's Italian.

01:04:32.120 Yeah, remember in The Godfather?

01:04:33.560 Do they fuck?

01:04:34.700 I got to see some of the deleted scenes.

01:04:37.400 No.

01:04:38.540 Godfather III, they were cousins.

01:04:40.580 59's not that old, but I don't see you having a kid in the next year.

01:04:43.580 So we're probably looking at about five more years.

01:04:46.220 That's my point.

01:04:47.460 I'll take Nick's opinion.

01:04:49.180 Because are you in a relationship?

01:04:52.240 No.

01:04:52.720 Exactly.

01:04:53.340 So you're not in a relationship.

01:04:54.760 It's going to take a couple years before you decide it's time to have a kid.

01:04:57.360 Right.

01:04:57.680 So you're going to be in your 50s.

01:04:59.160 You know what I mean?

01:05:00.100 Yeah.

01:05:00.440 I could see myself in five years having a child.

01:05:02.120 So Nick said it's a good call.

01:05:03.300 Yeah.

01:05:05.980 Got to interrupt this episode.

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01:06:49.980 And now let's get back to the episode with Mr. Eric Griffin.

01:06:54.040 Yeah, man.

01:06:55.240 What do you think about this?

01:06:56.900 Let's get into real quick this James Davis thing that went down.

01:07:00.260 Oh, what went down?

01:07:01.140 With the girl, with the young lady had a tweet making fun of Extensions, the rapper that got.

01:07:10.140 Oh.

01:07:11.540 He got killed.

01:07:13.460 Extension?

01:07:14.160 Extension, yeah.

01:07:15.900 And that, yeah.

01:07:17.060 James Davis, but that's not the girl.

01:07:19.060 But the girl came out and made a joke.

01:07:21.620 Oh.

01:07:22.340 Oh, so James Davis tweeted her about something.

01:07:24.520 No, he called, James Davis called out the girl because he was the one that made the joke.

01:07:29.140 She was the one that made the joke.

01:07:30.240 Right.

01:07:30.520 Okay, I know.

01:07:31.020 I know the joke.

01:07:31.760 I've seen the bit.

01:07:33.220 Did you think it was all right?

01:07:34.300 Um, I thought, I got it.

01:07:37.000 But you know what that joke is like?

01:07:38.460 What we were talking about earlier about saying the N-word.

01:07:40.840 Right.

01:07:41.560 It's one of those things where it's like, is this, is this.

01:07:44.580 Necessary?

01:07:45.120 Is it really that funny?

01:07:46.480 Right.

01:07:46.720 Because like, the structure of the joke, I get it.

01:07:50.040 It's hilarious.

01:07:51.280 The point of the joke is funny.

01:07:53.460 I don't know if she executed it the way, like, I bet you if I said it, it wouldn't have gotten that kind of thing.

01:08:01.000 Right.

01:08:01.180 But so that's important, too, about what you look like.

01:08:03.760 So there's this meek, little white girl who's making this, you know, in that kind of smug, liberal way.

01:08:10.420 Yep.

01:08:10.600 You know, that's.

01:08:10.980 Throwing a young, deceased, mixed boy under the bus.

01:08:13.600 You know.

01:08:13.900 Or mixed young man.

01:08:14.600 Just the way she looks.

01:08:16.040 Or he could be Italian.

01:08:16.940 That needed to be part of, she needed to realize.

01:08:20.700 But again, I get the joke.

01:08:22.680 I'm not mad at her for making the joke.

01:08:24.740 I get the joke, and I think the structure of the joke is sound.

01:08:27.780 I think that it could have been funnier than the way she did it.

01:08:31.340 Yeah.

01:08:31.400 Because I get what she was trying to say.

01:08:32.640 Instead of, like, it's not, the joke ain't about him.

01:08:35.600 Right.

01:08:35.920 That's what people need to understand.

01:08:37.140 The joke's not about him or even making fun of him.

01:08:39.800 Right.

01:08:40.000 The joke is about carrying around $50,000.

01:08:43.820 Right.

01:08:44.180 That's the joke.

01:08:44.900 The joke is like, you know, instead of carrying around $50,000, you know, use Venmo.

01:08:49.140 Yeah.

01:08:49.400 That's funny.

01:08:50.380 Yeah.

01:08:50.780 And so the fact that the guy was killed because of the money is a way of emphasizing that he,

01:08:56.920 I'm just intellectualizing the joke right now.

01:08:59.200 Yeah.

01:08:59.260 And I'm just saying that she just didn't execute it in a way that it was, like, super funny.

01:09:02.980 Well, it shows you how young people, I think, to me, it feels like a millennial generation

01:09:08.920 got more upset about this, probably, because they attach everything just to the person.

01:09:15.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:15.500 It's like more of the me culture.

01:09:16.940 It's all about.

01:09:17.480 What I'm saying, they don't think.

01:09:18.660 Right.

01:09:18.980 They don't think.

01:09:19.440 They just heard his name, and that means it's inappropriate.

01:09:22.260 He's dead.

01:09:22.560 It's inappropriate.

01:09:22.920 He's dead, and you're making fun of him, and you're doing all this stuff.

01:09:25.300 It's like, no.

01:09:26.100 Yeah.

01:09:26.460 She was making fun of people carrying around a lot of cash.

01:09:30.660 Right.

01:09:31.000 Used the Venmo app.

01:09:32.180 And she used him as an example.

01:09:33.940 Exactly.

01:09:34.460 Right.

01:09:34.760 But it just wasn't executed in a way that was super funny.

01:09:39.180 Right.

01:09:39.760 Should we play it for the audience?

01:09:41.080 Yeah, let's play it.

01:09:41.720 Is anyone still mourning XXXTentacion?

01:09:52.940 He's a rapper who was murdered.

01:09:56.180 He's dead now.

01:09:58.220 He was shot.

01:09:59.980 He was on his way to buy a car with $50,000 in cash, and somebody shot him and took the

01:10:05.260 money, which is very tragic.

01:10:08.280 But I think also it would be a very good Venmo commercial.

01:10:11.720 I mean, that's the joke.

01:10:13.540 Yeah.

01:10:14.160 That's pretty funny.

01:10:15.460 I mean, that's what I'm saying.

01:10:16.500 It's unfortunate the guy died.

01:10:17.960 It is.

01:10:18.640 But it's like, if you tell a joke with JFK in it, bro, he's dead.

01:10:22.200 Exactly.

01:10:23.340 It's like people frame this into this thing, too, about it becomes racial.

01:10:29.720 It becomes about this white girl.

01:10:33.380 Well, she's not even white.

01:10:34.140 She's Indian.

01:10:35.540 Yeah, but she looks white enough to me.

01:10:37.760 But also, okay, so she's Indian.

01:10:39.060 Here's what I would do.

01:10:39.780 Who knows that?

01:10:41.600 Who's going to know that?

01:10:42.980 Like, if she wanted to look Indian, she'd look Indian.

01:10:45.880 Yeah.

01:10:46.040 Okay?

01:10:46.480 So I don't want to hear that.

01:10:47.960 If I close my eyes, what do I hear?

01:10:49.840 I hear a white girl.

01:10:51.220 Okay?

01:10:51.640 And that's what people around the country, they don't know.

01:10:54.880 They don't even know her name.

01:10:56.260 And then you add that element to it.

01:10:58.100 So what is that supposed to mean?

01:10:59.320 And that's why I say people want to know what you are so they can know how to hate you.

01:11:02.100 Like, I'm all for her not saying, like, she shouldn't say what she is or anything.

01:11:06.600 It's like, no, I'm just a person making a funny joke.

01:11:08.720 Right.

01:11:09.180 You know?

01:11:09.660 I think she should, if I were her, I would go even further into this.

01:11:13.020 I'd double down.

01:11:13.900 That's what I would do.

01:11:14.720 I'd double down.

01:11:15.920 I would be the dirt with Dina Hashem, and she makes jokes that are just completely no-holds-barred.

01:11:23.160 That's exactly what I would do, and she would have a career for herself.

01:11:25.380 Yes, she would.

01:11:25.760 She could be the next, who was the big lady that lost a lot of weight?

01:11:29.600 Paula Bell.

01:11:30.420 No.

01:11:31.480 The big lady that got thin, thin.

01:11:34.920 Paula Bell.

01:11:36.040 Okay?

01:11:36.440 She did the roast.

01:11:37.340 Lisa Lampanelli.

01:11:38.040 Oh, that's who I meant.

01:11:39.220 Lisa Lampanelli.

01:11:39.640 Dude, once she lost all that weight, where is she at?

01:11:42.280 Yeah.

01:11:42.620 She disappeared, bro.

01:11:44.720 Well.

01:11:45.000 Twice.

01:11:45.920 I don't know, man.

01:11:48.320 She's like baby Jessica, bro.

01:11:49.760 She fucking fell off the face of the earth, bro.

01:11:52.380 So what did James Davis say?

01:11:55.040 He was just like the first one that kind of brought the joke to light and was like, this

01:11:59.720 is wrong and made a big stir about it, and everybody was criticizing him for attacking

01:12:04.920 another comic.

01:12:05.620 I agree with that, though.

01:12:06.620 And he could just be getting-

01:12:07.700 I like James.

01:12:08.020 Yeah.

01:12:08.220 I like James, too.

01:12:08.860 I like James, too, but I feel like this is one of these things where it's like, this

01:12:11.820 is like one of those things, it's like, what are we doing right now?

01:12:14.420 I mean, if I'm going to criticize her at all, it's going to be like, well, because I'm not

01:12:18.260 a fan of this type of comedy.

01:12:19.980 This kind of like slow, you know-

01:12:22.140 Right.

01:12:22.440 I agree.

01:12:22.720 She's boring.

01:12:23.800 That's boring to me.

01:12:25.280 I wouldn't want to see that for an hour.

01:12:26.640 She's a writer.

01:12:27.200 Yeah.

01:12:27.860 But it's a well-crafted joke.

01:12:29.440 I mean, kudos.

01:12:30.020 But it's just like, that's that kind of smug shit that Comedy Central wants to put.

01:12:34.060 You have to watch that for a half hour and be like, you're supposed to be like, oh, is

01:12:37.260 this going to be the next-

01:12:38.360 That's what comedy, yeah.

01:12:39.420 Like, funny is not a thing anymore.

01:12:41.260 Like, for some reason, it's not important to be funny or entertaining.

01:12:45.360 Yeah.

01:12:45.480 Like, is that entertaining?

01:12:47.000 Like, that's the kind of joke where you see it and you're supposed to go like this.

01:12:50.580 Oh, well done.

01:12:54.080 Yeah.

01:12:54.600 Oh, well done, my dear.

01:12:56.160 You know, that's not, I want to be like, ah, good one.

01:13:00.340 I want people to be like, if you perform-

01:13:02.520 I want to enjoy myself.

01:13:03.140 If you perform it in a certain way, people are going to be like, that's fucked up.

01:13:06.740 Yeah.

01:13:07.440 But they appreciated what you did.

01:13:11.200 That was just more for the shock value.

01:13:13.860 Yeah, she's a writer.

01:13:14.440 The way it was presented, I'm saying.

01:13:15.980 But I ain't mad at her.

01:13:17.140 I'm just telling you no.

01:13:17.820 What's her name?

01:13:19.040 Dina Hashem.

01:13:20.320 Dina Hashem.

01:13:21.380 I'm putting it out there to you.

01:13:22.220 You did all right.

01:13:23.620 Keep doing you.

01:13:24.520 Yeah.

01:13:24.720 You know, that's the chances we have to take.

01:13:27.640 Yeah.

01:13:27.880 And also, yeah.

01:13:28.760 And James, I mean, I've heard from people in meetings.

01:13:31.780 I've heard from people just on the street that James Davis is hard to work with.

01:13:35.860 I've heard that repeatedly that the young man's hard to work with.

01:13:38.560 Do you know him?

01:13:39.440 Huh?

01:13:39.920 Get him on the podcast.

01:13:40.920 Yeah.

01:13:41.260 I'll have, I'd love to have him come on.

01:13:42.920 I'm just saying that I've heard that.

01:13:44.120 I'm not saying that he's a bad guy.

01:13:45.900 I'm not saying that he's not funny.

01:13:47.200 I'm just saying that I've heard that.

01:13:48.940 I just wonder if-

01:13:49.660 People are starting to say that about you now.

01:13:50.920 They are?

01:13:51.580 I can believe it.

01:13:52.100 I believe it.

01:13:52.780 But I'll say this.

01:13:55.180 You believe it.

01:13:56.400 I can believe it.

01:13:57.400 Yeah.

01:13:57.820 You know who Theo is now?

01:13:58.840 Now, Theo's the guy now on stage complaining about it's too loud in the hallway.

01:14:02.900 Yeah.

01:14:03.360 That's how I knew you changed.

01:14:04.720 That's when you changed.

01:14:05.580 Well, the place also, Comedy Store-

01:14:07.360 No, you changed, Theo.

01:14:09.620 You changed.

01:14:10.440 That would-

01:14:10.980 Two years ago, that wouldn't have been a thing to you.

01:14:12.720 You would have just powered through.

01:14:14.220 Now you up there like, uh, the hallway.

01:14:17.520 Yeah, bro.

01:14:17.840 It's so loud out there, dog.

01:14:19.760 You bougie motherfucker.

01:14:21.380 What happened to you?

01:14:22.240 Bro, I'll say this.

01:14:23.140 What happened to you?

01:14:24.620 Comedy Store used to be a lot-

01:14:27.040 It used to run a lot more smoother, I think.

01:14:29.520 It's gotten chaotic out there, bro.

01:14:31.740 Last night, dude, Joey Diaz on stage, the mic's fucking shit the whole time, dude.

01:14:35.840 The mic-

01:14:36.160 It was shit before he went up there.

01:14:37.900 And it's like, y'all letting this man be up there with that shitty mic?

01:14:41.700 Well, that's something they gotta take.

01:14:42.860 Like, that's a technical issue.

01:14:44.400 But every time the technician dry, he's out back smoking dope every set.

01:14:49.840 That's true.

01:14:50.580 He's the technician.

01:14:50.940 He ain't in charge of the-

01:14:51.680 He's fucking sitting there right by the things.

01:14:53.780 You think he work at Radio Shack on the off days?

01:14:56.740 I think he knows how to work all the equipment.

01:14:58.980 Oh, God.

01:15:00.560 See what I'm saying?

01:15:01.960 You changed.

01:15:03.460 Bro, I'm just saying, bro.

01:15:05.420 Now they got a stool over there where the guy that by the window, he used to stand up and work.

01:15:09.720 Now he's sitting over there and milling around, bro.

01:15:12.360 Like, hey, I got attacked at the comedy store years ago.

01:15:15.600 So I get-

01:15:16.260 I mean, this is-

01:15:16.900 I'm just saying stuff has been going on for a long time.

01:15:19.060 So I don't know what to tell you.

01:15:20.440 But like, yeah, I think you should have James on.

01:15:22.060 I don't know why he did that.

01:15:24.320 I just, you know, I just-

01:15:26.300 I would never-

01:15:26.920 I don't know if I would ever come out against a joke and be like, this is wrong.

01:15:29.980 Right.

01:15:30.460 That's what I'm saying, too.

01:15:31.600 Like, where's my mindset then?

01:15:33.000 Yeah.

01:15:33.360 Because then it's like, who's allowed to say what?

01:15:36.400 That's not the business we're in.

01:15:37.960 We are not in the business of censorship.

01:15:40.480 Right.

01:15:40.520 We're in the business of taking chances.

01:15:42.320 And sometimes when you take those chances, they're going to go too far and it's going

01:15:46.020 to be pushback, like Kathy Griffin.

01:15:47.880 Yeah.

01:15:48.180 That was a terrible joke.

01:15:49.500 It was terrible.

01:15:51.120 And she's now bounced back.

01:15:52.520 She's talking-

01:15:53.080 She made a documentary about everything that's happened to her.

01:15:56.020 She's got a new special coming out.

01:15:57.420 So that's what we have to do.

01:15:58.940 Where's the special on?

01:15:59.780 I don't know.

01:16:00.500 It's probably going to be Netflix or something like that.

01:16:02.000 I'm not sure.

01:16:02.760 But they have like a-

01:16:03.520 What I'm saying is there's a pushback after, but don't be coming out talking about what

01:16:07.300 someone can or cannot say.

01:16:09.060 My criticism is technique.

01:16:11.360 You know what I mean?

01:16:12.180 Right.

01:16:12.800 But like, I get the structure.

01:16:15.480 Yeah.

01:16:15.680 If somebody had a joke, I would never be like, oh, I might think to myself, oh, I don't like

01:16:18.820 that joke or whatever.

01:16:19.820 Exactly.

01:16:20.520 Right.

01:16:21.180 That's how I feel about things.

01:16:22.280 I go, I didn't like that.

01:16:23.320 That's not my cup of tea.

01:16:24.720 Yeah.

01:16:24.820 That's how I look at stuff.

01:16:26.420 I don't ever-

01:16:27.100 I'm just never like-

01:16:27.700 I just go, eh, I don't-

01:16:29.260 I wouldn't have said it like that.

01:16:31.200 That's all it is.

01:16:32.400 Yeah.

01:16:32.600 I still try to enjoy people.

01:16:33.940 Most of the time, I don't ever even comment on it.

01:16:35.520 We don't even usually talk about this stuff.

01:16:37.300 I just thought it would be interesting.

01:16:39.080 Yeah.

01:16:39.220 You brought it up, you know?

01:16:40.200 Yeah.

01:16:40.480 And well, I just know everybody's been talking about it recently, and so I thought it would

01:16:43.560 be interesting to see-

01:16:44.200 But again, it's one of those things that's going to blow over.

01:16:45.500 To think about together.

01:16:46.380 It's going to blow over.

01:16:47.240 Oh, bro.

01:16:47.560 Nobody cares.

01:16:48.400 We won't even put the clip up.

01:16:49.460 It's so blown over.

01:16:50.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:51.420 Who is it?

01:16:51.720 These people got shit to say to me?

01:16:53.140 Yep.

01:16:53.400 These are people that, uh, Nick-

01:16:54.680 Oh, they all white?

01:16:55.940 Huh?

01:16:56.860 Dude, if you see him as that, I see this man, I can't even tell what color he is.

01:17:00.240 This could be a woman.

01:17:01.380 This is what I always say about Theo.

01:17:02.420 Hey-

01:17:02.960 He don't see color.

01:17:05.600 He only see white people.

01:17:10.360 That's hilarious.

01:17:12.600 That is an interesting statement.

01:17:14.400 Here's a question from Steven.

01:17:15.960 What's up, EG and TV?

01:17:19.000 Hope it's going well.

01:17:20.400 Steven from Daytona Beach, Florida here.

01:17:22.660 Oh, what up, Steve?

01:17:23.320 Uh, just got a couple questions.

01:17:24.940 Uh-huh.

01:17:25.440 Um, Eric Griffin, I'm wondering if you've ever had any formal singing training, because you

01:17:32.660 actually sound like a really good singer.

01:17:35.240 Mm-hmm.

01:17:36.400 And, uh, second question.

01:17:38.740 Steven, could you guys do a little improv singing sesh?

01:17:44.400 This guy's high.

01:17:45.340 Gang gang.

01:17:45.620 High as-

01:17:46.620 No, this guy's high.

01:17:48.560 Okay.

01:17:49.040 They're all high.

01:17:50.220 Okay.

01:17:50.440 Oh.

01:17:51.000 It seems like it.

01:17:52.680 You want to do a little-

01:17:53.180 Well-

01:17:53.520 A little We Are The World?

01:17:54.700 What you got?

01:17:55.040 What's your favorite song?

01:17:56.060 We did We Are The World the other night on stage.

01:17:57.760 Oh, you did?

01:17:58.440 Who?

01:17:58.560 We had the-

01:17:59.340 That dude, Damn Long Neck, was out.

01:18:01.280 Have you seen him on Instagram?

01:18:02.500 No.

01:18:03.020 Damn Long.

01:18:04.480 And, uh, we-

01:18:06.040 He came on stage, and we had a group.

01:18:07.780 We got some diversity up there, and we did it.

01:18:11.160 He sang We Are The World, man.

01:18:12.960 You got some diversity up there?

01:18:14.960 I love how you always recognize-

01:18:17.020 Look at all this diversity.

01:18:18.140 I do.

01:18:18.680 Everybody's always talking about it.

01:18:20.300 See, you have some feelings about it.

01:18:22.300 I like how you have feelings about it.

01:18:23.380 I said, look, let's make it happen.

01:18:25.180 Part of me feels like you want to be like, why can't it be white?

01:18:27.240 Is it okay to be, just be white sometime?

01:18:29.340 This is your black half, dude.

01:18:30.460 Black half-

01:18:31.080 No, no, I'm saying to you.

01:18:32.560 There's always an issue.

01:18:34.080 Black people have an issue with any-

01:18:35.420 Black people in heaven be like, what the fuck is going on up here in heaven, man?

01:18:39.260 Yeah, because I'm sure up in heaven it's going to not be the right stuff.

01:18:44.680 The movie choice is going to be all white.

01:18:48.920 Oh, my God.

01:18:50.240 What is this?

01:18:50.920 That's my-

01:18:51.420 That's damn long, man.

01:18:53.160 Oh, this is him?

01:18:53.880 Yeah.

01:18:54.080 You had him on stage?

01:18:55.360 Yeah, he came up.

01:18:56.740 Wow.

01:18:57.280 We're second cousins, actually.

01:18:58.620 It's a long story.

01:18:59.440 This is you, like if you were locked in a bunker with no food for like, it was like, you thought

01:19:05.220 the zombie apocalypse was about to start, and you went into your bunker, but then you didn't

01:19:08.900 have enough food, and this is after they found you like a year later, you've been living

01:19:12.540 off like spam, but there's just one can left, and then they found you, and you come out,

01:19:17.180 and you're like, ah.

01:19:18.700 Just teaching roaches to do circus trips.

01:19:21.380 Yeah, you got roaches trading, they're doing like, you know, they're doing fucking cabaret.

01:19:26.760 What, um, was there a question that came in, too?

01:19:29.520 Yeah, we got-

01:19:30.220 We got another.

01:19:30.740 We didn't do the song.

01:19:31.460 Oh, we didn't do the song.

01:19:32.100 Is there a song?

01:19:32.860 Thank you for the singing compliment.

01:19:34.920 You know, we own the oven with Theo Vaughn.

01:19:38.840 I'm trying to think of a song I could even sing, man.

01:19:40.800 I'm trying to think of a song that you would like.

01:19:41.780 Are you a country guy?

01:19:42.600 Huh?

01:19:43.220 I like all kinds of music, man.

01:19:44.400 Don't put me in, don't pigeonhole me.

01:19:46.320 Oh, yeah.

01:19:47.160 It don't have to be a diversity song.

01:19:49.200 I see you liking a lot of church music, you know?

01:19:51.740 Church music?

01:19:52.500 Yeah.

01:19:52.940 This little light of mine.

01:19:54.180 Yes.

01:19:54.800 I'm gonna let it shine.

01:19:56.260 No, Lord.

01:19:57.000 This little light of mine.

01:19:58.240 I can see you.

01:19:59.120 I'm gonna let it shine.

01:20:02.340 I can do the fat black girl part.

01:20:03.820 Oh, I can see you being like kind of the fat black girl that maybe, you know, is kind of

01:20:07.860 getting her shit back together, you know?

01:20:09.920 And I'm singing at church.

01:20:10.860 Yeah, I can see you at church, maybe like on 227, one of the side characters.

01:20:18.280 227 reference?

01:20:19.280 Bro, how good was 227?

01:20:20.980 This is my dude right here.

01:20:22.760 People don't know about 227.

01:20:24.140 It's underrated.

01:20:27.040 Why come we are not on a sitcom?

01:20:28.620 We should still be cops or something.

01:20:30.160 Do we want to be on a sitcom, though?

01:20:32.380 That's how much money he making, y'all, out here.

01:20:34.540 You hear him?

01:20:35.240 Hear him bragging about the money in the Theovan compound I'm in right now?

01:20:39.900 He literally got the Simpsons person to come and draw this.

01:20:43.520 That's how much money he got.

01:20:44.340 We got orange people in here, bro.

01:20:45.480 I'm saying we're all orange, bro.

01:20:46.860 Beige power, dog.

01:20:49.180 Is this your diversity?

01:20:50.140 Yeah, this is him, man.

01:20:51.500 Everybody's orange.

01:20:52.360 I like it.

01:20:53.020 No, not everybody's orange.

01:20:54.900 Bill Burr's wife, black as hell, and me.

01:20:59.200 That's the diversity.

01:21:00.160 That's the choice y'all wanted, bro.

01:21:01.280 So this is considered white in here.

01:21:04.480 Oh, there's another black person right there.

01:21:05.740 That's Charlamagne Tha Gat.

01:21:07.020 Yep, that's Charlamagne Tha Gat.

01:21:08.980 This question comes from Josh.

01:21:11.140 He's looking for some advice from both of you.

01:21:13.060 Oh, Theo, Eric.

01:21:14.280 I hope the podcast is going well.

01:21:16.020 I have a question for you both.

01:21:17.820 Obviously.

01:21:18.080 It is, what's a good way to, you know, discover new things in terms of, like, a career path

01:21:25.000 or things that you might be interested in that you haven't really found yet?

01:21:29.600 Because I work a warehouse job, and I see my boss, and it's just this wicked fat guy

01:21:35.360 kind of missing almost all of his hair.

01:21:38.220 And I hope he doesn't watch Theo's podcast.

01:21:40.180 And it scares me, and I don't want to be doing that when I'm older.

01:21:41.800 So, you know, I guess I just need some advice on how to find something that I'm more passionate

01:21:48.120 about.

01:21:49.040 Okay, cut to his boss bringing him into office.

01:21:52.980 Hey, come on in.

01:21:53.740 Just wanted to take a little work assessment.

01:21:55.800 And then he turns on this.

01:21:57.880 So am I the fat?

01:22:00.820 And then they have a real conversation together, finally, for the first time.

01:22:04.060 Exactly.

01:22:04.480 And they start a business together.

01:22:05.820 Boom.

01:22:06.580 I think what you could do, buddy, what's the guy's name?

01:22:09.880 Josh.

01:22:10.320 Josh, I think what you should do is, you know, figure out what moves you, what you're

01:22:14.680 passionate about, and then, like, stay in your car, drive Uber and Lyft for a little

01:22:18.780 while to make ends meet while you're going to, you know, that two-year program to be a

01:22:23.920 dentist or whatever it is that you want to do, you have to do it.

01:22:27.760 Most people don't do what they want to do out of fear.

01:22:30.600 You haven't left that job because you're scared, because you're worried about the things

01:22:34.580 that you have in your life.

01:22:36.000 You're a slave to your possessions.

01:22:37.700 You're a slave to your rent or that girlfriend that you don't really love.

01:22:41.920 Figure out what you want to do in your life and then go out and do it.

01:22:45.360 And then find your happiness.

01:22:47.700 Yeah.

01:22:47.900 That's what you have to do.

01:22:49.660 Yeah.

01:22:50.100 I think, look, there's some good suggestions, man.

01:22:52.440 If you're at the warehouse and you got the big boss, dude, I think what I would do is,

01:22:58.360 I used to work at a warehouse, man.

01:22:59.600 I didn't mind it.

01:23:00.340 I like some of the smells and the peacefulness of just the products sitting there behind the

01:23:04.420 scenes, knowing they were about to go on the big stage out front, you know?

01:23:07.160 The big stage.

01:23:08.300 You clearly were robbing the place, too.

01:23:10.280 How much stuff did you take home with you?

01:23:12.200 How many boxes did you open up and be like, oh, shit, is this olive oil?

01:23:15.660 Dude, I will say this.

01:23:16.820 One time when I worked at the grocery, I stole a gross of baby food, bro.

01:23:22.260 144 jars.

01:23:23.840 Were you out on the streets?

01:23:24.880 Huh?

01:23:25.060 You have a jacket?

01:23:25.880 Like, you need this baby food?

01:23:26.980 Oh, nah, bro.

01:23:27.820 You need them peas?

01:23:28.880 You need them carrots?

01:23:29.600 Are you eating baby food?

01:23:31.160 Yeah.

01:23:31.720 Dude, I'll tell you this, bro.

01:23:33.180 Oh, here we go.

01:23:34.960 Here's how you know you're not a pedophile, dude.

01:23:36.740 After two or three jars, I was over it, man.

01:23:39.560 Okay.

01:23:40.320 I don't know if that's how pedophilia works, but.

01:23:42.880 But you know, because here's the thing.

01:23:44.520 If you're a pedophile, you're going to be cracking into those jars forever, you know,

01:23:47.460 trying to have a meet, you know, taking somebody out to dinner or whatever.

01:23:50.420 I just knew after three jars, I was like, fuck all of this, man.

01:23:53.980 But here's what I would say, man.

01:23:55.500 Yeah, I would have a little bit of a game plan.

01:23:57.320 Yeah.

01:23:57.960 And you'll move when you're ready, man.

01:23:59.460 When you're really, really ready to make a move.

01:24:01.520 Yeah, when it's enough.

01:24:02.480 Yeah.

01:24:02.840 But don't wait till you, like, you have to snap on a fat boss.

01:24:07.200 So don't wait till, like, you're so unhappy.

01:24:08.640 That's true.

01:24:09.420 You're so unhappy that you make a bad choice.

01:24:11.600 Yeah, because, yeah.

01:24:12.160 Make yourself up, you know, start saving that warehouse money job, you know.

01:24:15.720 So you save it.

01:24:16.540 Save the money.

01:24:17.300 Figure it out.

01:24:17.900 Like, this is my plan.

01:24:19.920 Get a vision board, bro.

01:24:21.220 Yep.

01:24:21.460 Have a plan because I will agree.

01:24:22.920 Sometimes you build up resentments.

01:24:24.540 Like, sometimes I won't want to say something.

01:24:26.300 I won't want to talk to somebody about something.

01:24:28.180 Then it's been two weeks.

01:24:29.860 Now I'm angry at them.

01:24:31.400 I'm angry at me that I'm afraid to make the call.

01:24:33.880 And then finally, when I do make the call or have the conversation, it all goes away.

01:24:38.040 It took 30 seconds.

01:24:39.600 Everything was cool.

01:24:40.800 And now everybody's quiet in the hallway.

01:24:42.240 Yeah.

01:24:43.620 Yeah, man.

01:24:44.260 Now everybody's quiet in the hallway, man.

01:24:46.960 So, yeah, I would say just take it easy, bro.

01:24:49.840 Take it easy.

01:24:50.620 Have a little bit of a plan.

01:24:51.680 And be sure that you want to, man.

01:24:53.740 Exactly.

01:24:54.060 Maybe you are happy and it's just part of you telling yourself that you're not happy.

01:24:57.540 You might work there for the next 20 years and really enjoy it.

01:25:00.960 Yeah, enjoy.

01:25:01.780 Exactly.

01:25:02.660 Like, he has his own judgment on this job that he's doing.

01:25:07.000 Yeah.

01:25:07.240 He has his own expectations that he's not following.

01:25:09.640 I love working, man.

01:25:10.400 I love when I worked at a behind the scenes at the Dell Champs, bro.

01:25:13.780 I'd be back there at night stacking, dude.

01:25:16.260 We used to stack as much toilet tissue as high as we could, bro.

01:25:19.600 We could get to almost 11 rolls one time, one on top of the next, man.

01:25:23.360 You're just having fun in there.

01:25:24.500 Bro, we had so much fun, dude.

01:25:26.080 And people would sleep on top of the stuff and people would, you know, we had so much time.

01:25:29.980 We'd be back there all night driving the forklift and doing forklift jousting, bro.

01:25:33.680 And just enjoying each other.

01:25:34.340 What company is this?

01:25:35.320 So I don't ever.

01:25:36.900 This is Dell Champs and they went out of business.

01:25:38.660 Yeah.

01:25:39.020 I wonder why.

01:25:40.360 I wonder why Dell Champs is gone.

01:25:43.900 Sounds like a great company with good hiring practices.

01:25:47.200 I used to clock in for work and go home and come back and clock out, bro.

01:25:52.520 That's the worst.

01:25:54.440 This is nightmare.

01:25:55.880 But look, that was teamwork, man.

01:25:57.680 Is that the only two questions we got?

01:26:00.240 No, there's some more.

01:26:01.220 Oh, okay.

01:26:01.840 That was teamwork.

01:26:03.280 Teamwork.

01:26:03.760 Make the dream work.

01:26:05.460 But yeah, man, I would have a little plan.

01:26:07.160 Or just find out if you enjoy what you're doing.

01:26:09.040 You might enjoy it.

01:26:09.820 Sometimes there's all these, especially listening to podcasts, a lot of guys will say like,

01:26:14.480 oh, you should, like sometimes we might enjoy what we are doing, you know?

01:26:18.380 But I wouldn't build up any resentment if you're not.

01:26:20.600 And I would have a plan if you're going to make a move.

01:26:22.640 Yes.

01:26:23.200 Have to have a plan.

01:26:23.920 Because dude, that's how a lot of people with opioids and stuff start.

01:26:26.620 You get a couple weeks out of work, you're chilling.

01:26:29.340 And that's when you're like, oh, fuck, I'll have a pill, bro.

01:26:32.180 And then you're chilling for the rest of your life.

01:26:34.180 And then you feel like the only way out is a life of crime.

01:26:36.920 Yeah.

01:26:37.400 It's like girls that think like, you know, the only way I have to, you know, sell my body

01:26:42.980 or I have to, it's like, damn, then what, you know, there's people working at McDonald's,

01:26:47.920 they're not, you know, there's jobs.

01:26:50.100 Yeah.

01:26:50.480 You know what I mean?

01:26:52.120 And every job should be, if you want it to be, should be a mean to the next thing,

01:26:55.800 you know, if you have that vision, you know?

01:26:57.620 Find a career instead of a job.

01:26:59.720 Yeah.

01:26:59.980 But that's the hard part.

01:27:01.040 Right.

01:27:01.260 And some people's career could be a family.

01:27:02.720 Your career might be a family.

01:27:03.720 The job might be a side thing that you do because you like being a husband or you like being a dad

01:27:08.900 or you like being a live-at-home son, you know?

01:27:11.860 A lot of sons living at home until 50 now.

01:27:15.340 Have you seen how hard it is out here on these streets?

01:27:17.700 Oh, trust me, man.

01:27:18.900 Believe me, I don't want to pay the rent I'm paying.

01:27:20.460 I wish I was at home.

01:27:21.780 Really?

01:27:22.280 Yeah.

01:27:22.860 But your family lives in France, don't they?

01:27:24.820 France.

01:27:25.320 No, my mom and my stepdad just moved back from Spain.

01:27:29.200 Oh, wow.

01:27:29.520 They're actually living back in California now.

01:27:31.360 Wow.

01:27:31.720 So I'm like, I'm eyeing that second bedroom.

01:27:35.120 I feel you.

01:27:36.380 What's your stepdad like?

01:27:38.480 He's a cool dude.

01:27:39.900 Really nice dude.

01:27:40.580 You know, he's a brilliant, a salt-of-the-earth type of guy.

01:27:43.240 I always say that he's going to get my mom into heaven.

01:27:45.360 Oh, nice.

01:27:46.280 She's going to be his plus one.

01:27:47.600 Yeah.

01:27:48.480 That's it.

01:27:49.260 You know what I mean?

01:27:49.860 He's going to get to the gate.

01:27:50.700 She's going to be like, I got a guest.

01:27:51.960 Oh, shit.

01:27:52.680 They brought Ms. Griffin.

01:27:56.420 Yeah, man.

01:27:57.360 What did your mom do?

01:27:57.940 I feel like that would be a great name for a teacher, Ms. Griffin.

01:28:00.620 I don't know.

01:28:01.200 She was like, she worked at, before she retired, she worked in like health and safety.

01:28:05.600 So she was a health and safety specialist.

01:28:07.220 Are you used to kind of, do you get a lot of your sense of humor from your mom, right?

01:28:10.460 Yeah, yeah.

01:28:10.880 My mom's very, well, she thinks she, just like me, she thinks she's funnier than she is.

01:28:15.100 Yeah.

01:28:15.480 You know what I mean?

01:28:16.400 So she like, yeah.

01:28:17.420 She'll just like, you know, because my mom right now, I'm dealing with my mom has dementia.

01:28:21.000 Oh, wow.

01:28:21.600 Yeah.

01:28:21.740 So I'm dealing with that right now.

01:28:23.100 You know, like if she sees this, she's going to be like, I don't got dementia.

01:28:25.700 You know, she's right now, she's yelling at the camera.

01:28:27.620 And then she'll say it again a half hour later.

01:28:29.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:28:29.540 So it's crazy.

01:28:31.100 But like, she's still sarcastic.

01:28:34.560 She's still got a sense of humor.

01:28:35.700 Like we're in the doctor's office talking to the doctor about this.

01:28:38.820 And I'm saying things and she's like, he's adopted.

01:28:42.680 She's just, you know, making a joke.

01:28:44.340 You know what I mean?

01:28:44.780 So she's like very funny, you know?

01:28:46.740 Like every time we talk about this and my mom goes, she goes, oh, Eric, oh, where am I?

01:28:51.440 Who am I?

01:28:52.280 You know, she makes the joke like that's –

01:28:56.420 Oh, dementia.

01:28:57.220 Yeah, she's making a joke about it.

01:28:58.600 And I go, oh, that's funny, ma.

01:28:59.900 Tell me where you are.

01:29:02.780 She don't know.

01:29:04.520 She stayed in the wrong place.

01:29:05.640 She still thinks she's in Spain, you know?

01:29:07.520 That's what she said to the doctor.

01:29:08.420 She told the doctor, oh, I'm in Spain.

01:29:10.100 Is it kind of scary to see that?

01:29:12.100 It is.

01:29:13.180 But at the same time, it's like this is the new baseline.

01:29:17.820 So I'm not going to like – I can't be sitting around being like, oh, my God, my mom has –

01:29:21.140 you know, I just go, let me just enjoy what we –

01:29:23.060 because she's still – it's crazy because dementia is that kind of thing where like everything's fine

01:29:27.120 except for like these two things, you know?

01:29:29.760 And these two things are like part of their reality.

01:29:32.600 So you just have to go with it, you know?

01:29:34.700 That's the hard part.

01:29:35.480 I'm talking about it on stage because that's how I, you know, relieve all my stress or anxiety about it.

01:29:40.280 But I'm really not like super depressed about it.

01:29:42.740 I'm just kind of like, okay, we're just going to deal with it and just move forward.

01:29:46.100 Yeah.

01:29:46.740 Does she talk to you about it like on a personal level like that she's scared about it?

01:29:49.940 No, because she doesn't – my mom's very stubborn, so she doesn't even realize it.

01:29:54.460 She doesn't – she knows something's up, and I think she knows more than she wants to let on.

01:29:58.000 Right.

01:29:58.260 But it's better to say like, you know, it's like for her to be like –

01:30:00.820 like she thinks her grandmother's house is 10 minutes away, like a walk, you know?

01:30:05.700 And instead of like being like maybe I'm wrong – no, no, no.

01:30:09.920 She's adamant, you know?

01:30:11.560 And she's like, get in the car.

01:30:12.240 We're going to get in the car.

01:30:13.160 We're driving around 45 minutes.

01:30:14.340 Right.

01:30:14.400 She don't know where the hell it is.

01:30:15.400 Yeah.

01:30:15.620 But she's saying, if I could just find the river, I'm like, there ain't no river around here.

01:30:19.880 You know what I mean?

01:30:20.580 Yeah.

01:30:20.980 After a while, I was getting upset.

01:30:22.180 It's like, where the river at?

01:30:22.940 Show me the river.

01:30:24.140 I open up the map.

01:30:25.220 Put me in the water.

01:30:27.080 You know what I mean?

01:30:27.460 Now we're right back at church.

01:30:28.780 Yeah.

01:30:28.820 I'm all like, cry me a river.

01:30:31.720 You could go out and just –

01:30:34.880 Dude, you know they put some black stem cells into Justin Timberlake.

01:30:37.620 Let's be honest.

01:30:38.400 Here we go.

01:30:39.200 I've heard this.

01:30:39.820 I'm not joking, man.

01:30:40.960 No, that's not how it works.

01:30:41.520 A lot of black dudes have said that.

01:30:42.800 First of all, if they could do that, all you honkies would be doing that.

01:30:46.300 But we can't afford them, bro.

01:30:47.680 You can afford them now.

01:30:48.720 You can't afford the good –

01:30:49.120 You don't even want to be on TV.

01:30:50.880 That could be a stem cell research room right over there, man.

01:30:53.620 That's your stem cells room.

01:30:54.740 But we can't afford the good, good stuff from Egypt.

01:30:58.820 And that's what they said –

01:30:59.940 It's in Egypt?

01:31:00.900 Bro, I'm just saying.

01:31:01.700 A couple of black guys I talked to at a pizza place one time at night told me –

01:31:05.300 Because that's where science is done.

01:31:06.500 At that pizza place, that's where the world problems are solved.

01:31:12.300 I'm saying that they told me –

01:31:15.140 There's a secret lab in Egypt.

01:31:16.440 No, no.

01:31:17.120 Okay.

01:31:17.440 They heard me.

01:31:18.240 They heard that Justin Timberlake –

01:31:20.160 It's at the pyramids.

01:31:20.880 Got black stem cells.

01:31:23.640 Do you believe it?

01:31:24.800 No.

01:31:26.420 That's not a thing.

01:31:27.580 I swear to God, man.

01:31:28.620 Yeah, but that's not a thing.

01:31:30.720 Well, Flat Earth wasn't a thing.

01:31:31.740 And I'll tell you this.

01:31:32.280 About five years ago, I was at a Burger King, and a black gentleman told me –

01:31:36.340 This is a true story.

01:31:37.020 Oh, another –

01:31:37.620 About Flat Earth.

01:31:39.580 Another intellectual hotbed.

01:31:41.200 Well, I'm just saying.

01:31:43.400 I was saying, Blake –

01:31:44.220 The Burger King bathroom.

01:31:45.700 But here –

01:31:46.220 No.

01:31:46.580 They always got the scoop.

01:31:48.180 You know, they got the word on the street, man.

01:31:50.240 Uh-huh.

01:31:50.480 You know?

01:31:50.960 And he told me, Flat Earth –

01:31:52.300 He goes, look, man, I'm going to tell you.

01:31:54.480 The Earth ain't round, bro.

01:31:55.860 And I thought he was crazy, dude.

01:31:57.200 Forty minutes later, I thought he was maybe crazy.

01:32:01.580 But then three years later, Flat Earth is a huge thing.

01:32:04.900 No, it's not a huge thing.

01:32:06.760 Flat Earth.

01:32:07.700 It's not a huge thing.

01:32:08.980 Huge, man.

01:32:10.000 There's documentaries about it.

01:32:11.680 We don't know where we are right now.

01:32:13.760 You know?

01:32:15.000 And this is where the podcast goes off the rails.

01:32:17.880 We already had our Sam Tripoli episode, so we're good with the Flat Earth.

01:32:21.240 Yeah.

01:32:22.480 But are you hearing anything like that?

01:32:24.880 You just let him talk whenever he wants?

01:32:27.440 We try not to.

01:32:28.120 He can't.

01:32:28.680 We shouldn't have.

01:32:29.200 I don't think Sam Tripoli is a Flat Earther, really.

01:32:31.100 No, he's not.

01:32:31.760 No.

01:32:31.880 But this motherfucker should raise his hand like we at school.

01:32:34.600 I agree.

01:32:35.420 I agree, man.

01:32:36.320 Okay?

01:32:36.720 I don't want him just talking out of turn like that.

01:32:39.080 Bro, look.

01:32:39.660 Tell me about it.

01:32:40.240 He's about to be in that show Power.

01:32:42.080 Oh, he's in Power.

01:32:43.120 Yeah.

01:32:43.240 Yeah.

01:32:43.540 And they're putting, and he won't stop.

01:32:44.860 He tells us about it every day.

01:32:46.780 He's been on it, though.

01:32:47.880 I know.

01:32:48.320 He loves being the white guy around, you know.

01:32:50.500 Oh, tell me about it, dude.

01:32:51.920 He said, I told him, I said, look, bro, if you're doing two seasons of Power, you can

01:32:55.140 have a mixed kid in a year.

01:32:56.740 Yeah.

01:32:57.740 Do you date black women?

01:33:00.180 Yeah, I do.

01:33:01.180 No, you don't.

01:33:02.220 Yeah, I do.

01:33:02.960 He just said his publicist just texted him.

01:33:04.780 Yeah.

01:33:05.100 I'll make sure you say yes to that.

01:33:06.500 His publicist, by the way, fine.

01:33:08.300 Is she?

01:33:08.620 Have you seen her?

01:33:09.020 Oh, Cassandra?

01:33:09.900 Cassandra.

01:33:10.280 I met her.

01:33:10.860 Yeah, Cassandra's dope.

01:33:12.320 What's up, girl?

01:33:12.860 Holla.

01:33:13.500 I met her the other day.

01:33:14.620 What else we got, Nicholas?

01:33:16.400 You want some news, some more questions?

01:33:17.720 Yeah, let's get into a little bit of news, man.

01:33:19.540 We got Eric Groupon, one of the funniest guys, man.

01:33:21.620 Dude, I love watching you.

01:33:22.960 I feel like-

01:33:24.540 I love watching you, too, though, by the way.

01:33:25.780 I love watching you perform, man.

01:33:26.240 We both like watching each other.

01:33:28.200 Oh, this coming to America?

01:33:31.020 Adrian Peterson is reportedly in serious debt after making over $100 million in his career,

01:33:36.100 the highest paid running back of all time.

01:33:38.300 He's being sued for failure to pay a $5.2 million loan and owes almost $10 million to multiple

01:33:44.660 different creditors.

01:33:45.440 And that $5.2 million loan was just to cover other loans.

01:33:49.180 Who's a-

01:33:49.760 Obviously, this is-

01:33:51.680 What credit?

01:33:52.500 The zoo of fucking Washington, D.C.

01:33:55.260 Zoo?

01:33:55.520 Look, he's on a camelback.

01:33:56.520 If you can see the picture.

01:33:57.320 This is why he's broke.

01:33:58.800 Yeah.

01:33:59.040 This is bad decisions right here.

01:34:01.100 This is how you can't just give anybody $100 million and think they're going to know

01:34:05.020 what to do with it.

01:34:05.840 Yeah.

01:34:06.180 I mean, you ever seen that 30 for 30 about all the broke NFL players?

01:34:09.620 This is why.

01:34:10.960 That's why they broke.

01:34:11.960 They're doing dumb shit like that.

01:34:13.460 How much is a camel?

01:34:14.140 Can you look up how much it is to rent a camel?

01:34:15.780 Yeah.

01:34:16.240 And that documentary was called Actually Just Broke, too.

01:34:19.240 There you go.

01:34:20.000 And the picture is in this-

01:34:21.160 He probably bought the camel.

01:34:22.120 Is Adrian Peterson on top of a camel, yeah.

01:34:24.080 Yeah.

01:34:24.240 Or it could be a sick horse or something.

01:34:25.680 Can we-

01:34:26.280 Is there any other pictures of it?

01:34:28.860 Yeah.

01:34:29.720 Let's see.

01:34:30.520 That's just ridiculous.

01:34:31.640 That's why he's broke.

01:34:32.260 And listen-

01:34:33.200 And that's okay.

01:34:33.800 I'm not-

01:34:34.100 Where is a guy like that going to get $50 million?

01:34:39.280 You know?

01:34:40.060 A camel costs about $55,000.

01:34:42.680 Okay.

01:34:43.280 So you can afford a camel if you're him.

01:34:45.000 That's half a-

01:34:45.580 That's it.

01:34:46.020 You know, three running plays.

01:34:47.080 But when you talk about the upkeep of that camel, too, though, you got to have a camel guy?

01:34:51.580 You don't just have a camel in the backyard roaming around.

01:34:54.700 Does he have other animals?

01:34:55.500 We don't know anything about that, do we?

01:34:56.820 This picture was specifically from either his birthday party or his kid's birthday party,

01:35:02.040 just right in the midst of the whole hitting his kid with a switch thing.

01:35:07.140 And he chose to be photographed like this.

01:35:09.580 Well, I'll say this.

01:35:10.300 The media probably cost him a lot of lawyer money.

01:35:13.240 I bet that cost him $10 million to get through.

01:35:15.060 That's what I'm saying.

01:35:15.880 But I'm saying you're a guy that you were a running back.

01:35:18.880 That's your skill.

01:35:20.380 Unless he goes into broadcasting, how's he going to make that money?

01:35:23.520 Those creditors, they're done.

01:35:25.780 They're stupid.

01:35:26.820 He's never going to get this money back.

01:35:28.920 Well, he's never going to get the money.

01:35:30.000 But and also, you know, sometimes it just takes a generation.

01:35:33.360 Sometimes it's a generation or two.

01:35:35.960 There's always people like there's a timeline of things.

01:35:39.540 It's a learning curve.

01:35:40.300 Some people like, you know, your dad has to make certain mistakes so you don't make them.

01:35:45.280 You know, like his son may become one of the best hedge fund managers.

01:35:49.200 You just don't know.

01:35:50.380 But sometimes there's like a, you know, like maybe this.

01:35:53.820 He's the first person in his family that ever had any money.

01:35:56.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:35:56.840 Seems like it.

01:35:57.640 There's no influence.

01:35:59.580 People don't get.

01:36:00.620 Because anytime you go in, let's get that.

01:36:02.160 Get the camel.

01:36:03.260 Can you give me a camel?

01:36:04.220 Get that camel.

01:36:05.320 But the camel, I guess, could stay in the yard with dogs, right?

01:36:07.980 They don't need water or anything, right?

01:36:09.680 No, they do need water.

01:36:10.920 See, this is what I'm saying.

01:36:11.660 You need a camel guy.

01:36:12.840 That guy's on retainer.

01:36:14.460 So there's money for that.

01:36:15.500 That's going to be $30,000 a year.

01:36:16.780 You know what I'm saying?

01:36:17.460 The camel costs money.

01:36:18.700 I'm just saying, you know what?

01:36:21.260 Everybody should live as a comic for five years.

01:36:23.560 Then they learn how to be frugal.

01:36:25.100 That's a good point.

01:36:26.120 Because you learn how to like.

01:36:28.100 Dude, I remember using a butcher knife to try to put two packets of mayonnaise into the tuna can and swirl it.

01:36:35.220 That's what I'm saying, man.

01:36:36.320 We learn how to be broke.

01:36:38.620 We know how to be broke.

01:36:39.920 So I'm saying that's the kind of guy.

01:36:41.700 He was poor, whatever.

01:36:43.160 I don't know his story.

01:36:44.360 Yeah.

01:36:44.500 But he just, how about this?

01:36:46.200 Beautiful man, though.

01:36:47.100 He's dumb.

01:36:47.740 Dude, what a physique on him.

01:36:48.940 I mean, dude, I am.

01:36:50.620 Adonis.

01:36:51.340 He's dumb, though.

01:36:52.000 A real Adonis.

01:36:52.620 He could do modeling.

01:36:53.400 He could do senior modeling.

01:36:55.300 He's not 75, dude.

01:36:57.580 I'm just saying, bro.

01:36:59.080 And he still has one good year.

01:37:00.840 So he's going to be running out of debt this year.

01:37:03.120 I mean, look at him.

01:37:04.600 Jesus Christ.

01:37:05.360 God, brother.

01:37:06.380 God damn.

01:37:08.180 Oh, yeah.

01:37:08.460 That's a man right there.

01:37:09.920 That's a thot, boy.

01:37:11.560 Look at these fucking thots.

01:37:12.400 I want those stem cells.

01:37:13.540 I know.

01:37:14.500 But that's what I'm telling you.

01:37:15.740 That's what he should do.

01:37:16.500 He should sell his stem cells.

01:37:18.060 You don't think Justin Timberlake got a couple APs in him?

01:37:23.540 Can we talk for a minute?

01:37:27.140 Girl, I want to know your name.

01:37:32.240 And if I am ever fall in love.

01:37:37.400 You know what this is like?

01:37:38.180 For 1995, get Theo singing all the classics.

01:37:41.040 I will be sure that the lady's just like you.

01:37:50.180 Man, that was a good time.

01:37:52.580 Bro, you remember when the Bodyguard soundtrack hit?

01:37:56.120 Where were you, bro?

01:37:57.600 Three places I knew where I was.

01:38:01.040 9-11 when the Bodyguard soundtrack came out.

01:38:05.420 And now that I've been on The Oven.

01:38:08.980 And I remember that shit, bro.

01:38:11.840 God damn.

01:38:13.340 Now they selling like tours.

01:38:15.740 They doing it now.

01:38:16.400 They selling tours to her, you know, to the bathtub now.

01:38:20.380 Oh, yeah.

01:38:20.840 And her son died in the bathtub, too, man.

01:38:22.640 It's basically just like a little Narnia.

01:38:24.040 It's like the closet in that Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

01:38:27.400 That thing becoming a real halfway house for Houston.

01:38:29.980 That's the death tub?

01:38:32.920 Because even her daughter died.

01:38:34.800 It's crazy.

01:38:35.560 A little scrunchess or whatever the daughter's name was.

01:38:37.840 But the boy, the boy seemed like, I don't know, man.

01:38:40.840 You get caught up in the drugs.

01:38:42.140 But it's crazy.

01:38:42.720 You see how the mother did it?

01:38:43.920 Something went wrong with that family.

01:38:44.240 And then it went into the kids.

01:38:45.380 It's crazy.

01:38:45.760 And Bobby's still out there getting fucked up.

01:38:47.760 Sad.

01:38:48.160 It's sad.

01:38:48.640 Did you ever see their show, Being Bobby Brown?

01:38:51.360 Yes.

01:38:51.840 That she was.

01:38:52.880 How sad was it?

01:38:53.740 They took it.

01:38:54.280 I used to love that fucking show.

01:38:55.840 They were on pills.

01:38:56.820 The kids were on pills, though, half the time.

01:38:58.760 You can tell that.

01:38:59.500 But the thing is, they made that show themselves.

01:39:03.240 So they're like, in a way, they kind of had dementia.

01:39:06.380 Because they thought, oh, this is going to be dope.

01:39:08.460 We're going to put this together.

01:39:09.380 They edited it themselves.

01:39:10.400 And then they sold it the way it was.

01:39:12.680 And they revealed so much nonsense about themselves.

01:39:15.580 It was crazy.

01:39:16.480 Yeah.

01:39:16.680 Did you see that episode where her daughter was alive?

01:39:20.680 So you had Bobby's kids.

01:39:22.640 And then they're kids together.

01:39:24.680 You know?

01:39:25.180 So his kids.

01:39:26.520 Tommy Davidson, I think, was one of Bobby's kids, wasn't he?

01:39:29.500 They weren't rich.

01:39:30.600 Yeah.

01:39:31.180 Right.

01:39:31.500 So the one girl, they go shopping.

01:39:34.460 And she got hundreds.

01:39:35.520 Yeah.

01:39:35.960 She just, you know.

01:39:36.820 And they just, you know.

01:39:38.160 I was like, damn, why would you do that?

01:39:39.800 Whitney?

01:39:40.340 That's messed up.

01:39:41.180 I know.

01:39:41.560 Why are you going to send your daughter flossing like that to her half-sisters and stuff to

01:39:45.720 making them feel bad?

01:39:46.740 She only had hundreds.

01:39:48.000 Yeah.

01:39:48.260 That's crazy.

01:39:49.320 That's crazy, man.

01:39:50.260 Crazy lifestyle.

01:39:52.600 We're at about an hour 40.

01:39:53.900 Oh, all right, man.

01:39:54.780 I guess we got to get out of here.

01:39:55.660 We got to get out of here, man.

01:39:56.660 It took you all this time to get me on.

01:39:58.260 That's it.

01:39:58.920 Did it take a long time?

01:39:59.820 Yeah.

01:40:00.100 It's been a long time to you.

01:40:01.100 Has it?

01:40:01.580 Yeah.

01:40:01.760 Because remember back in the day when the podcast was like, whatever, you was all like, oh,

01:40:04.960 man, come on, man.

01:40:07.180 And now we wouldn't have you on, huh?

01:40:08.440 Yeah.

01:40:08.680 Now we wouldn't have you on.

01:40:10.320 Janny handles the booking, man.

01:40:11.540 Baby Jarvis over there.

01:40:12.740 Janny?

01:40:13.160 Yeah.

01:40:13.460 Oh, that's why he had to get on mine first.

01:40:15.840 He was like, yeah.

01:40:16.600 See, there's something going on here.

01:40:18.540 Oh, Janny's tricky, bro.

01:40:19.760 He knows what he's doing.

01:40:20.160 He's a tricky little motherfucker, isn't he?

01:40:21.240 Oh, I know he's tricky.

01:40:22.260 I didn't even.

01:40:22.720 My publicist reached out to you.

01:40:24.020 He didn't need that.

01:40:24.700 Shut up.

01:40:25.980 And then I was there, and I was like, let's have Eric on, and I booked you.

01:40:28.500 You and Dane Cook have the same publicist.

01:40:30.040 No, I've talked to this dude in the parking lot.

01:40:31.820 Yeah, we talked about it.

01:40:32.660 Yeah.

01:40:32.960 Yeah, but you.

01:40:33.460 Yeah, exactly.

01:40:38.600 We're literally booked up until almost the end of September.

01:40:42.120 Shut your mouth!

01:40:45.120 I know, man, and I appreciate it.

01:40:47.260 No, I'm joking.

01:40:48.160 I'm happy for all your success, man.

01:40:50.460 I love seeing it.

01:40:51.960 From where it started to where you're at right now, this is the dream.

01:40:54.920 Yeah.

01:40:55.280 You know what I mean?

01:40:55.660 This is what we do this for.

01:40:57.120 So if one of my homies can do that dream and break away from the pack like this, it's great.

01:41:04.380 Thanks, man.

01:41:04.960 It's really great.

01:41:05.700 That's why I started a podcast.

01:41:06.660 I was like, I got to start a podcast.

01:41:07.680 Yeah, Riffin with Griffin.

01:41:10.120 Check that out.

01:41:10.780 Riffin with Griffin.

01:41:11.420 Go to riffinwithgriffin.com or ericgriffin.com to see all my dates and all that bullshit.

01:41:16.360 How's your experience been with podcasting?

01:41:18.820 It's great.

01:41:19.500 I mean, it's a job.

01:41:20.680 You know what I mean?

01:41:21.000 I don't got a compound and like a little gay boy to help me out with stuff.

01:41:25.360 A twink, bro.

01:41:26.660 Twinkin' with Lincoln.

01:41:27.540 That's what we do.

01:41:28.180 For $5, you can meet Gianni, bro.

01:41:30.680 Wait, is that the link?

01:41:32.060 Twinkin' with Lincoln.

01:41:33.440 Hit that link.

01:41:35.120 You know, it's just him in a no shirt.

01:41:36.380 I love Theo.

01:41:39.800 Tattooed on his chest.

01:41:41.200 No, so it's a slow process.

01:41:43.160 I wish I, because I remember like you're on episode 100 and whatever.

01:41:46.240 So I'm on episode 40.

01:41:47.680 Yeah.

01:41:47.980 You know what I mean?

01:41:48.280 So it's like, I'm like, damn, I wish I would have done it earlier, but I enjoy it.

01:41:51.380 And it's like, you know, I love like being like one away from the fans and like, you

01:41:55.060 know, people really, I think they just, I think comedy fans appreciate this format more

01:41:59.520 than anything else.

01:42:00.340 More than TV shows, you know?

01:42:01.980 I think movies are still number one.

01:42:03.460 I think if you're in a movie and it goes whatever, people are like, oh, that's what makes you

01:42:07.280 a star still.

01:42:08.620 But this is like, we have our own tight audience and it's lucrative and it's fun.

01:42:12.760 And this makes us a human.

01:42:14.380 And I think, I don't think, I think celebrity is kind of becoming a different type of thing

01:42:19.800 where I think we're, we're just, it's more influence.

01:42:23.020 Like who do I want to let influence my world right now?

01:42:26.640 You know, it's like.

01:42:27.640 That's why we're called influencers.

01:42:28.900 Right.

01:42:29.860 Yeah.

01:42:30.180 I think of it more as like, yeah, I think the, the idea of celebrity and some of the

01:42:34.960 greed and stuff that comes with that, or just the idea of what you are is almost becoming

01:42:39.280 bizarre.

01:42:40.140 You know?

01:42:40.760 If we, if you, if we separate ourselves too much from humanity, it's just fucking bizarre,

01:42:44.920 though.

01:42:45.380 You know?

01:42:45.620 I know.

01:42:45.860 But these people like, how many, you met some like rich celebrities?

01:42:50.300 Oh, dude.

01:42:50.600 They're not even human beings anymore.

01:42:52.500 And they're delusional.

01:42:53.280 They act so weird.

01:42:54.860 It's crazy, man.

01:42:56.320 I just like, I go to myself, I never want to be like that.

01:42:58.380 Yeah.

01:42:58.640 Like when I'm on a set, I like to like, I'm, I'm over with the grips and shit.

01:43:01.740 You know?

01:43:02.060 Like, you know, slapping five with me.

01:43:04.040 Hey, what's up, dude that drives the truck?

01:43:06.220 Yeah.

01:43:06.440 You know, these are the real people.

01:43:08.000 Oh, dude.

01:43:08.500 I'm me.

01:43:08.800 Look, I ain't me too in an actress.

01:43:10.060 I'm me too.

01:43:10.580 One of the girls over at the soda cart.

01:43:12.400 You know?

01:43:13.320 You know what I'm saying?

01:43:14.000 I'm a man of the people.

01:43:14.840 You got me?

01:43:15.500 The one that don't have any influence or power that can say anything.

01:43:18.720 You one of those?

01:43:19.760 Those are the ones?

01:43:21.060 I'm just saying, bro.

01:43:22.420 All I'm saying is.

01:43:23.940 What you saying?

01:43:24.780 That a lot, I'm just saying a lot of rumors that I've heard that aliens and black people

01:43:30.760 aren't getting along, that Justin Timberlake bought Egyptian stem cells.

01:43:35.500 Why aren't aliens and black people, why wouldn't they be getting along?

01:43:38.720 I could see it.

01:43:39.500 I could see them having some differences, but I don't know exactly.

01:43:43.180 Well, when you know, please tell me.

01:43:44.980 Yeah.

01:43:45.280 Are there any black alien hunters?

01:43:46.900 Do we know any?

01:43:47.880 No, because.

01:43:48.600 I don't know any.

01:43:49.320 Can we get, can we find one, Johnny?

01:43:51.520 Please?

01:43:51.740 Like look one up or book one for the podcast?

01:43:54.140 Book one for the podcast.

01:43:55.160 That's when the world is finally, we finally like, racism's gone.

01:44:01.060 Yeah.

01:44:01.440 When black people start doing dumb white shit, you know what I mean?

01:44:06.680 That's when like, you know, when Fear Factor has all black people on it, we're like, okay,

01:44:11.320 racism is over.

01:44:13.320 Racism's over.

01:44:14.020 We made it.

01:44:14.500 We did it.

01:44:15.220 We've crossed over.

01:44:16.340 When you see black people parachuting and parasailing and shit, when you see like a bear

01:44:20.300 and there's a black guy like, get back, bear, you know, when that kind of shit starts happening,

01:44:23.820 we're like, oh man, the world is a better place.

01:44:26.700 The world is a better place.

01:44:28.640 Oh, it's not going to be fun though, I don't think.

01:44:30.820 Oh, one more thing before we get out of here.

01:44:33.860 Theo is thinking about going to Abu Dhabi and he's a little nervous and I know you spent.

01:44:38.140 Oh yeah, you're going to be fine, dude.

01:44:39.520 You're fine.

01:44:40.020 Don't worry about it.

01:44:40.620 Dubai, you recommend it?

01:44:41.640 Yeah, yeah.

01:44:42.080 You're going to be fine.

01:44:42.560 How many nights should I stay there?

01:44:45.000 How many shows are you doing?

01:44:46.720 I'm just going to go for the UFC fight, I think.

01:44:48.960 Oh.

01:44:49.080 I'm considering it anyway.

01:44:50.340 Oh, just go like, you know, just go like four days, three days, three days, three nights.

01:44:54.340 Just go like three nights.

01:44:55.180 That's enough.

01:44:55.560 Just because of the travel too.

01:44:56.900 It's going to take you so much time to get there.

01:44:58.760 You got to get acclimated, give yourself a chance to relax.

01:45:01.180 I mean, it's not a lot going on in that city.

01:45:02.960 It's just a metropolis of like buildings and stuff like that.

01:45:06.020 It's not like there's like a, you know, you'll find stuff to do, you know, if you go on

01:45:10.220 with a group of people or something.

01:45:11.620 Yeah.

01:45:12.120 Yeah, it'll be fine.

01:45:13.040 Okay.

01:45:13.680 It's going to be fine, dude.

01:45:14.380 Don't worry about it.

01:45:15.340 Eric Griffin, man, one of the funniest guys I know, man.

01:45:17.100 Thanks for coming in and spending time with us today, bro.

01:45:19.100 Riffin' with Griffin.

01:45:19.800 Check it out.

01:45:20.660 And let's do it again soon, man.

01:45:22.320 Yeah.

01:45:22.760 You know, well, you know, whatever Johnny needs, you know what I mean?

01:45:25.740 That's what it is.

01:45:27.160 That's what he needs, man.

01:45:27.800 Cut to be like.

01:45:28.300 I think in 2021.

01:45:29.380 Yeah.

01:45:29.800 2021 May, I think we have you down on that.

01:45:32.920 This is what I'm talking about.

01:45:35.140 This is exactly the shit I'm talking about.

01:45:37.100 All y'all ain't shit.

01:45:38.200 All y'all ain't shit.

01:45:39.120 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:45:44.080 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:45:47.020 I must be cornerstone

01:45:50.360 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:45:54.920 I'll share this peace of mind

01:45:57.080 I found I can feel it in my bones

01:46:01.240 But it's gonna take a little time

01:46:06.900 For me to set that parking brake

01:46:10.780 And let myself unwind

01:46:13.540 Shine that light on me

01:46:17.500 I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:46:23.240 Shine on me

01:46:28.180 And I will find a song

01:46:32.420 I will sing it just for you

01:46:36.100 And now I've been moving way too fast

01:46:43.360 On a runaway train with a heavy load of my hand

01:46:46.820 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite

01:46:52.340 And welcome to Kite Club

01:46:53.660 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts

01:46:55.900 On things like current events

01:46:57.320 Stand-up stories

01:46:58.540 And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:47:00.860 The answer may shock you

01:47:02.760 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:47:04.780 Sometimes I won't

01:47:06.100 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:47:09.600 You have three new voice messages

01:47:12.460 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:47:15.480 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:47:18.280 Longer than anybody else

01:47:19.900 So great

01:47:20.680 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me

01:47:40.080 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is

01:47:42.480 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:47:44.200 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:47:46.140 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:47:48.380 Third rule

01:47:49.160 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

01:47:51.800 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:47:54.400 And yes, don't worry

01:47:55.440 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

01:47:57.480 Thank you for listening to Kite Club

01:47:59.660 And yes, don't worry

01:48:00.880 I'll see you next time

01:48:01.700 I'll see you next time

01:48:02.860 I'll see you next time

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 25, 2019

Erik Griffin ｜ This Past Weekend #217

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