Family Matters ｜ This Past Weekend #209
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 23 minutes
Words per Minute
164.23145
Summary
In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the and discuss a variety of topics. The boys discuss their favorite comedians, their favorite celebrities, and the weird things they've found in the desert.
Transcript
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hello hey ma hi son i'm just taking a walk oh yes it's a little under 100 now but later this
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week's gonna be 107 so i figure i better get my walks in you might melt mom i'm not gonna do it
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when it's 107 i mean really you're only you'd either have to do it after it were dark oh yeah
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that's dangerous too because they have a lot of snakes out there or really early in the morning
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like 5 30 i don't know usually well that's snakes i have to eat something right away so and that's
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snakes too mom yeah yeah well no the um what is that insect that i found in the house they sprayed
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for it once for me something uh it's not a tarantula but jesus something that i have in the desert it
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can to a lot of people it's poisonous so i found them like a total of i think four of them in the
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house well you're gonna end up on one of those special shows where people get it's like for
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kind of for seniors that get attacked by snakes you know yeah i guess or something something
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will get you right yeah well look at least if you go into the belly of a warm snake at least you got
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a nice place to be you know yeah you have to be pretty much of a monster but they do exist i know
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you've seen some big ones sometimes on your walk haven't you yeah remember back in the day yeah
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trying to think i think you it was during the time that you stayed there for a short time when we
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lived on fairway grows oh yeah i saw a gargantuan snake that was the only time i've ever seen one
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that big so what do you think that's gonna not kill rosanne but it won't help her huh well i just
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i don't know what did you think whenever you heard about it i just thought well i wanted your opinion
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and and then when i got your opinion i thought well maybe that will hem her in as uh just being a
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comedian of controversy because that guy's controversial i guess yeah and uh you know when
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really i mean witness her old show she's a good all-around comedian yeah yeah i agree i think it kind
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of like it kind of i don't know part of me i would love to have gone on a tour with her
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you what i said i would have loved to go on a tour with her honestly if i'm really honest with myself
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yeah no i know it's one of those probably timing things yeah what i read didn't say when they
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you know when he initially pitched it i assume he pitched it to her but i don't even know that yeah
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well i think you know i think um you know i think she probably thinks that people don't like her
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more than is the reality i think uh i think a lot of people still really do like her but also i think
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her and dice have a real comfortable connection they've been friends for a long time um she like
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came she like jumped up on stage at one of his shows a couple of months ago and had like a comfortable
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response and they used to do shows together in vegas um you know so i think some of it might
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just be a comfort thing too like if i'm going to go tour with somebody who would it be um yeah but i
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think it's a good move for him he like a tat you know i think that i i feel like a lot more people
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would come out to see her these days but right who might not come out to see him i know what he looks
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like but i'm not i know what i read said he'd been banned from something i don't know what it was
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television oh yeah but i don't really know anything about it said he still does stand up on his own
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yeah well i see him at the comedy store sometimes so oh really yeah is he any good yeah i mean i
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think he's a you know desired taste i mean he's still you know he's a comedian he's not really he's
00:04:05.280
never been really like nice to me whenever i've seen him so i may have a i may have sometimes an
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unfair impression of like what i how i look at his comedy exactly but to me some of it's it's not
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really my favorite like if somebody asked me who's one of your favorites i wouldn't you know
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i would not even i wouldn't even think of him right so i guess they hooked up because of what you say
00:04:28.240
long-term friendship and also because they can both be controversial well he is all the time i guess
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yeah now it could be a huge tour though a lot of people were like you know what i'm gonna go out
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and see yeah see just see him you know just see him say whatever you know people yeah the last
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like hurrah for people saying whatever they want to say you know i guess she's not finished it unless
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no i don't think she is either that's i think she thinks she is more than she is
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well maybe when it's all done you'll still get a chance but they're doing something more benign
00:05:00.080
even if you do the little the little family in the van you know yeah i talked to her manager a
00:05:06.700
couple times i'm still trying to figure it out so but uh but yeah they didn't take a while yeah
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that's a good point so all right ma are you doing a podcast yeah i'm actually but it's just about to
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tape right now so yeah well thank you for calling yeah thanks for answering ma and i hope your walk
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goes well i'm getting on love you all right love you too bye okay bye well do you know what i was
00:05:34.460
thinking was uh that tits are hard like a hard like a chest is just like a man's chest is kind of like
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hard tits really when you think about that like petrified almost tits like if you had
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like if somebody buried a couple of you know beautiful just milky front knuckles out in the yard
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and they got and they got real hard over time and you dug them back up they'd be almost like a man's
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she was hotter than the blacktop broke down out of truck
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she was hotter than the blacktop broke down out of truck
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said she was a christian saving souls in savannah and the lover sent her to alamanda
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says she got a hold man but i shouldn't be worried though it seemed like she was in a hurry
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higher than a junkie drying out in the slammer lord i hope i don't die in alabama
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lord i hope i don't die in alabama that heat that's what's
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look this is the time of year it is summertime they call it for here now somewhere else somebody's
00:07:56.460
dealing with winter somebody in maybe moscow or somewhere somebody's throwing a damn uh
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not a crystal ball but a snowball at somebody imagine that
00:08:11.080
yeah if you imagined it then you just did and if you didn't then you just didn't
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it's up to you but yeah this is summer and summer's here boy
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and summer is man he's a dirty boy isn't he i mean he is a dirty boy
00:08:35.560
he's hot and he just is just relentless he is relentless
00:08:43.240
and that is summer that's like somebody if you give a uh
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you know sometime you catch a boy in the neighborhood or something got a little bit of um
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autism you know the tism they say it and if you give him a little hammer
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you know they had a boy in our area this boy named wild jacob
00:09:02.560
and he was always eating you know he'd run around and pick berries and everything in the summer
00:09:08.300
and you know when the berry bushes really started to flourish you'd catch him out there
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with the blue you know the black dye on his hands picking berries
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and uh and eating them that's the problem his mom gave him this little hat and he's supposed to put
00:09:25.040
the berries in there but he would just eat them immediately and he'd get home and he
00:09:33.480
but uh at one time his uncle i remember passed through town or something gave him a little hammer
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and i mean i swear to god we thought we had a damn woodpecker in the neighborhood for probably four years
00:09:48.040
but um but wild jacob would just get off in the woods and he'd find him a little tree or something
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or a little you know area of hardness maybe a fence board or a um piece of stone
00:10:03.640
or granite and he would just hit it with that hammer
00:10:07.560
wild jacob be out there with just berry stains all over his face just
00:10:23.240
just fucking probably sending morse code to who knows i mean i'm sure over in
00:10:28.400
you know in chernobyl or somewhere rusher you know who knows outer space they're thinking it's
00:10:34.880
some wild unique morse code is coming in you know they said there's some you know stenographer at
00:10:41.760
nasa just writing it all down but meanwhile that's just freaking
00:10:47.280
barry jacob old black barry jacob with his little hammer just
00:10:52.000
beating something we thought we had you know exotic birds
00:11:10.060
just chiseling away i mean jacob would fucking he chisel a damn uh
00:11:15.600
mount rushmore into the side of a school building or something i mean he just pissed everybody off
00:11:24.200
you know this was you'd come out of the out of school or out of your house and he would have
00:11:29.240
chiseled a damn deon sanders into the side of a
00:11:42.280
but that's the thing you know and that's how relentless he just i mean he was banks he didn't have nothing on this fella
00:11:47.240
banks he ain't shit banks he's just some sneaky dude in the middle of the night with a marker
00:11:55.800
but i'm just saying wild jacob was out there all day with a freaking one of them little baby hammers son
00:12:07.720
but that's how summer is man it is relentless beating it is
00:12:11.640
and it's that time you almost want to buy your mother a damn ice hat
00:12:21.800
you know it's almost like you want to drown somebody but don't fully drown them just hold
00:12:25.480
them under cold water for a you know about 40 seconds just to let them catch a little bit of relief
00:12:34.120
from the heat it's summertime in the year 2019 and it is june 24 and uh thank you for joining us
00:12:45.800
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00:14:37.880
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oh yeah it's summertime thank you guys for uh good to see you good to hear you um
00:17:07.480
what's up man just kind of relaxing this weekend i went to a
00:17:11.960
chiropractor and i don't know if you've ever been to a chiropractor but
00:17:16.360
this shady it's the shadiest thing it's basically like going to the mafia for your body
00:17:22.920
it's like taking your body to like a mafia person because they got you in a headlock
00:17:28.360
they pinning you to the ground they're asking you questions about you you know it's
00:17:34.760
jesus by the end i'm like i you know i'm just telling them where the treasure's buried even if
00:17:39.480
i didn't do shit i'm just making stuff up you know uh it's in us it's in a safety deposit box
00:17:51.640
because they put that dude this lady and she might have been into some wild stuff she might
00:17:57.240
have been into some real dark arts i think because i had you know all i felt like she had a little bit
00:18:03.160
of you ever hug somebody and they kind of they feel like they might have been doing cocaine a little bit
00:18:13.160
like that so you know but whatever you know we didn't blood test each other i was just there
00:18:20.200
so i don't really know anything but but um but yeah i went in there and and next thing you know
00:18:29.320
she's got me on the table she's got me in a figure four figure five she had me in all kinds of shit
00:18:36.600
she had my she know she had she tied both my arms into a knot under inside of her mouth with her tongue
00:18:43.320
i'm like what is this is i mean she was doing unique stuff and this was all non-sexual this this
00:18:50.280
this whole deal cost me probably about a 100 100 maybe 20 dollars 160 or 20 dollars i don't know
00:18:57.240
but dude they get in there they get they put the bone right in your zone this lady had me
00:19:05.240
she had my orifice is just just nervous boy i mean my whole body felt like a dang b-hole i'll be honest
00:19:13.960
with you my whole body felt like a b-hole and i say b-hole you know some people don't want to hear that
00:19:21.960
they you know they some people say butthole and i don't say that because i'm not that i don't say
00:19:27.880
that kind of stuff if i can help it but yeah this lady had that you know she got my whole body was
00:19:33.800
feeling nervous like a b-hole boy because people don't want to talk about that back door deal that b-hole a
00:19:44.840
a lot and that thing i mean it'll barely kind of accept a marble that thing is uh
00:19:54.280
cautious i think is a good word to describe it it's like
00:20:01.800
you know you know it's like got a really small small welcome mat if it has one at all
00:20:07.800
and that b-hole it's really it's a temperamental deal
00:20:15.080
but yeah this lady had my whole body feeling like that like my whole body was just covered up with just
00:20:21.880
you know uh that anus you know that anus that b-hole so it was an it was a unique experience
00:20:31.160
but you go in there she's got you in this she's got you in that she's got you
00:20:35.720
she had my arms behind my back she was fucking asking me questions you know she threatened i was
00:20:41.480
like what i knew what was going on she threatened me she told me i got a c when i was in you know
00:20:46.680
that i cheated in high school she was saying a lot of things that were i thought egregious that had
00:20:52.520
nothing to do with skeletal or muscular then they put you on this table and they put this long cable to
00:20:59.400
your neck and she goes over by the door and yanks that thing i mean it just just
00:21:06.840
and suddenly i fucking dude i i didn't know what was going on i mean i just felt kind of just tightened
00:21:14.440
up you know i felt like my pants just were you know we're gonna fit better i felt just like my
00:21:21.160
dick and my just you know i just felt like my i just felt like my just like my dick had just won
00:21:29.240
a medal or something just straightened everything up in my body immediately you know i felt like i just
00:21:34.600
won third place in a damn spine contest you know at the at the spine center over there off the interstate
00:21:41.880
but anyway i'm kind of rambling um we had uh last week we had a question that you know we had a caller
00:21:50.920
that called in we're talking about relationships and things like that and just things that i find are
00:21:56.120
in a lot of people's worlds right now uh and in my world for sure you know i think a lot about
00:22:02.600
relationships and you know if i want it if i can handle it you know i just really have a tough time
00:22:11.240
and commitment man i just have a really there's just something inside of me that is very scared of
00:22:19.240
it even just you know if i think about like getting like a wedding or something that's it scares me
00:22:30.440
you know uh but also what scares me also is being alone and not having someone that scares me really
00:22:38.680
in a different way that scares me more cerebrally like it you know i can think about well i might
00:22:45.080
not have children or grandchildren and you got to have grandchildren but those dudes they seem like
00:22:52.360
fucking great you know really good little buckaroos children they who knows what will happen
00:22:59.000
these mffers but grandchildren bro they fucking doing everything you could give them as many
00:23:05.800
smoothies as you want you know give them a couple lollipops hit them with that suppository bro if they
00:23:12.280
sick grandchildren you could do anything with the grandchildren put them outside put them on a swing
00:23:18.680
give them another smoothie oh they're tired they're crying get that smoothie little bryce or whatever
00:23:25.080
your name is little diadra what you want another couple of necco wafers you know grandpa got to
00:23:34.360
i might be that undercover grandpa just kind of roll up on children in the mall non-sexual you know just
00:23:39.720
roll up on children at the mall or at the and hit them with a couple of uh you know a cut of a kit kat
00:23:46.600
break them off one you know one of those you know 25 of a kit kat boy or hit them with a damn you know
00:23:54.840
a half a handful of payday split a payday candy bar with them and my mother used to love eating paydays
00:24:01.240
boy she used to crack open a couple cans of beer and she put that lawn chair out and the windows open
00:24:07.080
and she would lay out in indoors she would lay out on the thing indoors uh but and you know and she would
00:24:15.080
have that payday candy and that's more when payday candy bars used to be an adult they used to be
00:24:19.320
an adult candy but but yeah i was talking about last week about uh just parenting and co-parenting and
00:24:26.760
what do people think about that kind of stuff and we had a caller that called in uh this was an excerpt
00:24:32.280
from his call right here i'm 31 and i'm kind of trying to figure out you know do i want a child or not
00:24:40.600
you know i think my big problem is i i don't i have a phobia of having a child with the wrong lady
00:24:48.200
you know because whether you like to believe it or not you're attached to that person for at least 18
00:24:53.720
years you know the girl so i kind of want to make sure it's right you know before i have before i bring
00:25:00.040
a child into this world and uh and you guys hit some responses as always the hotline 985-664-9503 you guys
00:25:08.200
had some nice responses that uh here's uh one that came in right here hey ceo this is sarah from
00:25:14.360
chicago hey sarah and i'm actually wearing the chicago cubs fly that dub baby and i love chicago man
00:25:23.880
it's just really it's a city that really i feel like has still has a good bit of a orders you know
00:25:30.200
it's got a lot of business but it's got a lot of heart and you got people coming up there that are
00:25:35.160
you know they're looking to do business but they're also just looking to enjoy you know
00:25:40.840
seeing other people and meeting other people and it's a good place to still get a business card from
00:25:46.040
somebody and put it in your pocket and actually use it let's hear more i'm that lady who gave her
00:25:55.160
husband handjob in the back of her dad's car for the first time oh yeah sarah sarah with that magical
00:26:06.120
touch you got that you put that david copper feel on your husband huh and next thing you know you're
00:26:12.760
making his uh you're making his uh blue balls disappear you have that magical touch touching your
00:26:19.720
man while your dad's driving that's literally that's a ballsy move let's hear more um so i just
00:26:27.400
heard your comment about co-parenting and i know some people who are co-parenting now or are kind of
00:26:35.480
just taking the parenting life as if it's just oh it's easy if it works out it works out if it doesn't
00:26:40.440
it doesn't you know and that's not how the child sees it i've seen i work with kids actually i'm a
00:26:46.440
speech therapist and i work with children and i deal with those kids every day where co-parenting
00:26:52.200
just isn't working out and it really isn't working out for the child make sure you have a strong
00:26:59.800
foundation in that relationship otherwise it's just it can be detrimental for you yes but
00:27:06.120
incredibly detrimental for that child especially because when we're babies and born into this world
00:27:11.400
the only thing we know is our parents that's that's where we find out what love is and if we
00:27:16.760
don't see it from the co-parenting then do we really know what kind of love we deserve or what kind of
00:27:23.720
love we should get onward you gang gang gang gang gang sir i appreciate that you know that's a good
00:27:30.280
that's a really interesting thought yeah because if you're just co-parents and you the the children now
00:27:36.280
you could still show the child some love the children will feel love from a male parent and a
00:27:41.400
female parent or but i mean or it could be you know same-sex parents but i think that i i mean
00:27:50.360
i feel like you you're going to get more of a full batch if you have that male female i mean that's
00:27:57.800
you know it's been the current it's been the recipe it's been mother nature's recipe to have the male
00:28:04.360
female um but yeah it's like you'll get the the kid will still get the love from a parent a male
00:28:15.080
parent and a female parent but they won't get they won't maybe see the example of love so they might
00:28:21.160
not see the parents love each other they may not see there's like an element that they could really miss
00:28:26.760
so yeah i don't really thought about that exactly um that if yeah if you live on one street and your
00:28:35.480
kid lives yeah the if you live on one street with your kid and the dad lives across the street
00:28:41.160
or down the way and you guys are just kind of you know back and forth it may feel kind of just
00:28:48.280
this you know that it might not be continuous parenting it may kind of start and stop here and
00:28:53.320
there and then also kids might start to learn well love is just love is just you know you get love
00:29:02.040
from one person from a mom or from a dad and it's not a also something you see so if they don't see
00:29:10.440
the love between the parents so then you the kid might the kid could feel like that like that that love
00:29:18.440
isn't a isn't something that's even in the world you know because i've never seen an example of it
00:29:23.320
it's just i get love from my mom here i get love from my dad here but i don't see an example of
00:29:28.200
love between uh two people um that are you know like in a marriage or two people
00:29:38.440
like a man and a woman that love each other so then the kid might grow up and not really feel an
00:29:42.040
attraction to anybody they might be fully asexual them asexers so that's interesting you know i
00:29:51.160
appreciate you sharing that uh thanks for calling in sarah and look once again thanks for you know
00:29:57.320
sharing that story two episodes ago about dropping that hj on your husband back in the day while your
00:30:02.840
dad was driving y'all around man there's i mean that that episode really i think took us all to a
00:30:08.680
beautiful place in time that that you can only exist in as a child you know and as a first time
00:30:15.400
when you get that first touch let's let's take another call that came in here um here we go hey
00:30:20.840
theo this is vivian from los angeles hey vivian from la thank you for calling in uh onward i was listening
00:30:29.160
to last week's episode and i thought i'd share a story my mom and dad were really young when they had
00:30:34.600
me my mom was 19 and my oh yeah that's beautiful my dad was a couple years older oh yeah so he trying
00:30:42.600
to be wild like that with the young ladies i've done it i feel it onward um they never got married
00:30:48.600
for some time i was really young and uh they lived apart from each other and you know talked me back and
00:30:56.040
forth between them but once i actually got into elementary school they decided to move in together and become
00:31:04.120
roommates in chicago uh nothing romantic or anything like that they just wanted uh you know to co-parent
00:31:12.120
together in the same household and honestly it was my favorite time of my childhood so yeah if any single
00:31:20.600
parents are considering um co-parenting in the same household i could say from my experience it was
00:31:28.680
really really really good for me and actually i just kind of miss it but yeah gang gang thank you for
00:31:36.040
calling in uh let me look up really quick um the definition of co-parenting just so i'm operating
00:31:42.440
on a clean co-parenting um share the duties of parenting especially of a separated or unmarried couple
00:31:52.680
so basically it is uh people co-parenting sometimes called joint parenting or shared parenting is the
00:32:01.480
experience of raising children as a single parent when separation or divorce occurs however placing the
00:32:09.160
sole focus on your children can be a great way of helping to make co-parenting a positive experience
00:32:14.360
so it's where both where the parents are single but they're both raising the child um so that could
00:32:21.160
be in a couple of ways where you know you guys are you know just you guys are divorced uh it could be that
00:32:29.480
you guys are like this situation roommates so obviously it's there is something special that happens when
00:32:34.920
as a child then from your perception when uh when both your parents are in the same place
00:32:40.360
place and i and you know what i could really imagine that it's like because with parents you
00:32:46.280
can play off you can play one off of the other it's fun to see them interact you know they're like
00:32:52.200
this when you're a kid your parents are like this weird comedy duo sometimes it's just cruising around
00:32:58.040
the house just trying to take away your privileges so it's really interesting to have i guess to get to
00:33:06.760
see them at the same time interact with each other it could be kind of lonesome if you just go to your
00:33:11.720
dad's house and he's just being you know kind of sad or something or looking up escorts
00:33:17.320
and or just being like a nice guy or you go to your mom's house and she's just kind of being sad or
00:33:23.560
buying these crazy you know high-powered uh sexual toys you know these real you know these crotch uh
00:33:30.680
you know damn john deere is making things for women's crotches now and it is just good god
00:33:37.560
i mean they got some things that run on gas powered you gotta you know you gotta dang you know
00:33:43.880
you gotta float the choke a little bit before you can even get that thing to start up
00:33:48.840
and so that's really i don't know what kind of i don't know what's going on so yeah i think seeing
00:33:55.160
those parents get getting to see your parents kind of give each other a wet willy or tickle each other
00:34:00.600
or you know or try on scarves or different things like that there's going to be something special
00:34:06.680
there having that moment where you're paying you know maybe playing hide and go seek and both your
00:34:11.080
parents are there to play with you you know there is something about having them in the same house
00:34:16.280
so now maybe if your parents like you said your parents just happen to live together they weren't married
00:34:21.240
uh but they lived in the same house so maybe co-parenting is more effective if the parents
00:34:27.000
are living in the same home even if they're not married uh but they're there together at the same
00:34:33.880
time which i could imagine because from what i hear there's a lot of like something that happens
00:34:38.120
with like a nesting you know where you it feels like you're in a nest in a safe place where you can grow
00:34:44.360
you know your mom is there to nurture you your father is there to uh take care of uh and provide
00:34:51.240
and it feels uh probably very natural to us because a lot of species do it you know you see this show
00:34:59.480
they got a thing called uh what is it penguin i don't know polar express or something maybe it's
00:35:07.640
like about a bunch of penguins it's on the nature show they have a bunch of penguins and these mother dude
00:35:12.840
these guys they're penguins i don't know if you know penguins are they're basically
00:35:20.440
they're kind of they act like kind of like little bitches
00:35:23.000
i mean they don't you know they kind of short with people you know they always like just
00:35:31.560
you know they don't even really you know they just sitting over there giving you that uh
00:35:36.680
who's that guy um that slumber j arm what's your boy he was he could barely point at the oil uh
00:35:44.280
john mccain you know he got that low hitter you know he just got that i mean it's very he's very
00:35:50.200
you know he got that half mast baby you know and you know they that's how they raise their arm
00:35:58.120
or little penguins they don't do much the guys all kind of huddle around and then
00:36:03.080
the women they get pissed and they jump off of the mountain and go get a belly of fish and then they
00:36:09.400
come back one of them vomits into the child and then the other one goes out but i think as the child
00:36:16.840
to see your parents just doing that shift that you know that teamwork that tandem you realize
00:36:24.200
i bet you learn a lot about you know what it takes as a team as a tandem to make it work
00:36:29.800
you know my parents i remember my dad liked to sleep in his car at the park
00:36:35.000
and he would sometimes drink too much and he would just stay outside and just sleep in his car in
00:36:40.200
front of the house and he used to have a lot of cups of like different mardi gras doubloons from the
00:36:45.480
parade and uh and he would just throw them out of his car when he was driving like kind of like he was
00:36:51.240
his own little parade a little bit um i mean he was also 80 years old at this point or set you know 78 or
00:36:58.760
something but but yeah sometimes he would get a little bit of free champagne because
00:37:06.520
one of his friends worked at the champagne distillery and he would drive over old champagne
00:37:13.320
and my dad i know would sit out on the porch sometimes and you know chug down a half a bottle
00:37:18.040
of old champagne and i would be out there and he would let me smell his breath because i liked the way
00:37:23.480
that the uh that the champagne smelled but then i think it's just fun as a kid to have both of the
00:37:30.760
parents around it's something real i mean jesus i think just you know i mean there's enough kids
00:37:38.280
already that are raised by single parents it's just a little hectic it's not the same vibe but maybe
00:37:43.240
that's where we're headed and if we are headed there as a species because we're such in this me generation
00:37:48.360
and you know myself and and you know a lot of us are there not even by choice it's like
00:37:55.640
you know social media really puts us in our own world and our own perceptions and you know we have
00:38:01.240
our own facebook page we have our own ig we have our own snapchats we have our own whatever it is tick
00:38:09.080
tocks or whatever it's all our own personal things that it you know we start to look at our it just as
00:38:18.840
our lives as our world just as ourselves it's just uh it's just me it's just me um
00:38:26.680
so if that's where we're headed as people then then co-parenting might be the only
00:38:33.560
viable possibility because if your parents aren't going to live together they're not going to stay
00:38:40.200
married or they don't want to be married um then at least if they can live together in an environment
00:38:47.720
where they can raise a child so i don't know i'm thinking a lot about that kind of stuff just today
00:38:52.280
for some reason uh fuck man i'm fucking tired you ever sleep a lot and you're tired you're like dang dude
00:38:59.720
what was i doing in my dream was running a lot or something uh but thank you for calling in
00:39:06.280
you know maybe there'll be a turn where people start to you know really make good choices about
00:39:10.520
relationships and you see a lot more kids getting raised in the nest and uh and you see just you
00:39:19.560
know you'll see more of that vibe a little bit but yeah that hockey puck kind of style of child raising
00:39:24.680
i don't know you know i've never done it but i don't know what it's i don't know if it's super
00:39:29.640
healthy i don't know and then sometimes you don't know sometimes some kids is just made out of you
00:39:34.760
know fish and snails and puppy dog pails you know or whatever you know cinnamon and spice and nothing
00:39:41.800
nice or whatever you got a kid who's got fucking you know made out of 70 grams of damn nutmeg in his
00:39:47.000
neck and he's never going to get it together so some of that is just kind of god's plan
00:39:51.880
i'm going to tell you that today's episode if you're struggling with something is brought to you
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by betterhelp.com it's professional and affordable counseling get matched with the counselor who's
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00:40:23.640
but she uh she was eating yogurt homeless and i was like damn dude i took advice from this lady for like
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slash theo uh financial aid is available you know i've been thinking about just trying to be more
00:42:02.680
certain about the things that i need in my life even if i'm wrong
00:42:07.960
some sometimes i stay in this middle ground where i'm just so uncertain and i never really
00:42:12.120
kind of make a lot of choices i just stay in this in this uncomfortable space and uh
00:42:19.240
i don't know what i've been thinking about i need to own what my choices are even if they're wrong
00:42:24.120
because part of me just wants to not make any choices so then i don't ever take any kind of real
00:42:28.680
risks sometimes um but then i spend all the time in my head just battling both sides you know both just
00:42:37.160
both choices both decisions it's like do i do this or do i do that
00:42:43.080
but instead of deciding i'll just keep asking myself that do i do this do i do that do i do this
00:42:48.360
for months should i do this should i do the options aren't even gone are gone it was like should i pick
00:42:54.200
this cabbage or this little grapefruit at the produce and that that shit is damn wilted and been
00:43:00.360
bought by others but i'm still wondering in my head you know it's like my indecisiveness is just
00:43:08.600
it's it's exhausting honestly it's like what do i do here if i choose this am i going to hurt
00:43:16.280
somebody's feelings if i choose that am i going to hurt my feelings and sometimes i don't even want
00:43:21.960
to make choices because i'm like it's like am i mentally well enough to even make any choices
00:43:26.040
choices like you know am i do i need to get in a better place before i make choices
00:43:34.200
for myself i think that sometimes like man do i should i even make a choice right now i don't even
00:43:39.720
know if i'm doing okay i don't know life's just someone was tricky um but let's take you on let's
00:43:49.240
take in this other uh call about uh about uh co-parenting here we go what's going on theo
00:43:55.960
zach from phoenix i just had some uh jack jack from phoenix my second favorite uh football team
00:44:02.280
right there the arizona cardinals and also like them detroit lions onward advice for that guy asking
00:44:10.040
if he's too old to be having kids or whatever you know i was 23 when i met a woman thought she was
00:44:16.040
pretty cool start dating only catch was is that she was three months pregnant with someone else's
00:44:20.440
kid of course oh yeah and if you hit not yeah you met a woman she's already pregnant with somebody
00:44:27.960
else's kid that's like kind of like when you you ever go you ever do an easter egg hunt and you go
00:44:33.560
and you already you go to the bush and the egg's gone it's like that things didn't end up working
00:44:39.880
out but i raised that kid for about three years and it told me that having kids was worth it
00:44:45.240
you know even if shit might not go right you might be worried you might be with the wrong person or
00:44:50.520
whatever in my case i was and uh you know all the all the tough shit was worth it and so i say go for
00:44:58.280
it man before you get too damn old gang gang gang bro well thank you for the suggestion yeah you know
00:45:04.760
i think i long i mean i keep having sperm in my body because you know i'm even though i'm still
00:45:11.640
off pornography i'm back off i think i got like another 30 days under my belt
00:45:17.080
um and that's changed my life i got to talk about that more next week i'm gonna do the episode talking
00:45:21.800
about just how you know pornography and being off of it has really started to adjust the ways i think
00:45:27.160
and feel um but yeah i keep having when i do touch myself i see you know i have sperm inside of my body
00:45:35.080
that kind of rears its little beak you know where it comes out of me or you know that self spray kind
00:45:41.960
of and what i'm telling you is that i can still do it so i appreciate it yeah i might do it at some
00:45:51.880
point but i don't think i'm gonna do it right now but at some point i might have to get out there and
00:45:56.520
and catch as i go you know catch a case of the uh of the um you know full sexual reproduction
00:46:09.960
um and i'm glad it was a good experience for you brother you know it's brave that men over there get
00:46:14.840
on the front lines that's like i mean that's almost like a little bitty vietnam that's almost like a
00:46:20.040
skeet at nam you know when you got to raise somebody else's you know skeet for a while isn't it crazy
00:46:26.840
that you have a bill like a man even a fucking idiot right now has a millions of babies running around
00:46:31.800
in his body little you know kind of nut buddies and that all you got to do is tickle them enough
00:46:38.120
around his wiener and they'll and they'll show up i mean if that doesn't sound like
00:46:45.400
like uh like a a new minions movie then i don't know what does right let's take another call here
00:46:55.080
we got a lot of good calls coming in thank you very much hey ceo this is valerie from olympia
00:47:00.520
hey valerie from olympia up there and i think maybe washington or olympia the country i'm not sure
00:47:06.120
we just saw your show in seattle last weekend and it was awesome oh thank you very much yep
00:47:11.800
washington thank you uh thank you guys for coming i was calling about somebody called
00:47:17.320
talking about a friend that didn't show up i mean he might have been stalking him and it might be
00:47:21.880
somebody that he met off the internet oh yeah this was we had a guy who called in last week about um
00:47:27.480
you know he was kind of losing his friend and and he wasn't sure if he should still be friends with
00:47:32.280
him or not um because he felt like he was doing all of the work onward might have been stalking him
00:47:38.280
and it might be somebody that he met off the internet and he's just peeping in the bushes
00:47:41.880
hoping that for some reason that guy would call him back but if it is truly his friend from his
00:47:47.000
childhood and he really does know him um i'm gonna have to disagree with you i really feel like if a
00:47:53.560
relationship is toxic you got to think about your own mental health and and your own happiness at
00:48:00.760
some point and you shouldn't have to work that hard to make a friendship work i'm not saying that
00:48:07.640
he has to cut him off or refuse his call if that guy calls him but i do think it's important to
00:48:13.800
surround yourself with people that value you and just kind of let that one go if he doesn't want to
00:48:19.880
call him back maybe don't call him anymore and seek out friends that are worth your time but also if
00:48:26.760
he's stalking him that's a serious issue and now i appreciate i appreciate the call you know what
00:48:32.200
that's a really good point that's a good thought like yeah maybe yeah like sometimes yeah if the
00:48:39.000
person if it's not cutting it for you then yeah let them go you know when i just heard you say that
00:48:44.520
value it made me think about in my own life like yeah sometimes i i will just keep riding relationships
00:48:53.240
even though there's like nothing there maybe you know like sometimes i have friends i keep
00:49:00.440
talking to them even though every time i talk to them like what is it are we still even friends
00:49:04.680
what's going on even or am i just somebody that for some weird reason has been talking to this person
00:49:10.600
every now and then you know i think i've always had a well i wonder if i'm just like afraid to let
00:49:18.040
friendships go because what if i don't know just so happy to have any connection at all that man i
00:49:34.440
and it is true it's like um at a certain point we're not helping ourselves it's like some relationships
00:49:39.560
i'm like are these is this relationship even helpful or good for me in my life
00:49:51.480
but then part of me thinks well if this is a burden maybe this other person really needs somebody
00:49:57.880
an excessive care you know someone who just doesn't give up on them you know even
00:50:03.640
you know or doesn't you know keeps it alive no matter what
00:50:12.920
um and i'm not saying that that that's a right way to do it or that that there's any winner in the
00:50:17.720
scenario i think uh because i i think in some cases you can really exhaust yourself i really exhaust
00:50:23.480
myself sometimes you know keeping friendships alive and some people though somebody's probably
00:50:29.880
thinking the same thing about me like man i'm so fucking tired of texting theo or reaching out and
00:50:35.640
never getting a response you know i got a guy a buddy who uh you know who sent me you know he sent
00:50:44.120
me a couple of nice gifts and he's been so supportive and and i i literally just not had time to reach
00:50:49.800
out to him and i always feel bad it's like but yeah at some point even then at some point am i just hurting
00:50:57.480
their feelings on the other side of the coin by would it be big of me to just say man look i know
00:51:02.760
i'm not putting what i need to into this relationship or into this buddy ship right here
00:51:07.320
this little buddy battle so let me just step off the battlefield
00:51:13.000
yeah it's interesting i think it's case by case basis
00:51:16.600
uh but i will sometimes i will just keep trying to friendship because i'm just afraid to let it end
00:51:22.840
even though there's nothing else there even though you know i don't want to put my faith that a
00:51:29.560
different friend will come along and fill that space a better opportunity
00:51:34.760
and the truth is for me the experience the proof of experience in my life has been
00:51:40.360
that if i leave space for new things that new things will come along
00:51:51.880
as hard as it is to be like okay i'm gonna i'm gonna let this go i'm gonna let this rope go
00:52:02.280
start to close my other i'm gonna let the rope go with one hand and i'm gonna start to close this other
00:52:06.680
hand and at the moment that this one hand is fully let go of the one rope i'm just gonna
00:52:14.040
have faith that there's gonna be another rope will have formed in this other hand
00:52:19.480
at the exact moment i need it to so that i don't just disappear off into the ether just fall into the
00:52:26.520
void and it always does that's the crazy thing every time i give like faith or opportunity a chance i
00:52:34.600
feel like it always shows up even though it's so hard to do it that's tricky man damn we are tricky
00:52:43.880
rabbits boy uh let me get this call that came in as always the hotline 985-664-9503 i need to go
00:52:52.840
run or something i gotta get my blood going my i'm feeling like my blood is slow yeah what's up
00:52:58.280
phil this is uh parker i'm here in uh new jersey and you know i'm in high school and i uh i failed two
00:53:07.880
classes you know for the years damn you're in high school dude what grade are you in 41 42nd grade
00:53:15.160
you in 19th grade man you sound about 50 dude you sure you're in high school uh thank you for calling
00:53:24.680
man i appreciate you calling i gotta do summer school and it sucks you know the parents don't
00:53:29.800
like it you're a little pissed off and they're disappointed in me it sucks but you know i gotta
00:53:35.640
do this summer school and i was just wondering if you got any advice for moving on from it moving on
00:53:41.160
with high school trying to get into college and just seeing you know what uh what to do from here
00:53:48.360
because you know trying to get the uh disappointment away from my parents yeah man you gotta go out there
00:53:54.760
and get that hitter okay little kitten you gotta freaking put your tongue in the milk and start
00:54:00.200
doing the work yeah your parents are disappointed probably because they've really given you know
00:54:05.240
they've given you so some environment maybe where you can really prosper i mean parker really honestly
00:54:12.440
is not usually a poor kid's name so because if you parker you gotta you know unless you're valet now
00:54:21.000
that usually that's more valet is more a you know a poor guy's name sometimes like you know
00:54:27.640
actually it sounds actually kind of rich valet that sounds french that's my boy valet that's parker
00:54:33.320
so really that's the same name but what i'm saying is parker usually if you met a parker that dude
00:54:41.320
you know what i'm saying he definitely had a couple extra pudding packs in his in his satchel
00:54:45.960
and so you've had the opportunity man you're going to summer school i think you need to decide if you
00:54:52.840
like school or not i'll tell you this going to college is for is fun that's what it is it's fun
00:54:59.240
you get to meet people you get to have fun um you you know i think you should start to maybe apply
00:55:05.320
yourself and see what you could do man i bet you could do a little bit of magic now also you could take
00:55:11.320
another route if your parents got a little bit of coin you could get that little bit of a loan maybe
00:55:17.960
and go do some wild shit get out there on the you know hit the road and get that bone going boy and
00:55:25.000
get out there and do some boning do some sex out there travel america or travel europe but school
00:55:32.440
i think school is cool because it's just a it's an experience you can't really go back to school later
00:55:37.080
on in life that much and have that much fun you can't be 45 or 46 and trying to uh join as you know
00:55:44.680
peeking in the zeta house windows you know we're running in there in the middle of the night and
00:55:49.320
hiding a couple pairs of panties in your fucking mouth or throat so you gotta really enjoy it now
00:55:56.520
and it sounds like you have that opportunity man i would go i would go you could take a year off and
00:56:04.040
then go but i would go to college because it's a blast but i'd go to summer school and take some
00:56:08.680
action man get your shit together g up drink a red bull or something or have half a red bull and go in
00:56:14.520
there but because at a certain point man i i'm not trying to preach to you but at a certain point
00:56:24.120
some people that don't do you know not doing anything for yourself not getting your work done
00:56:37.320
um now you might be a slow starter that late bloomer
00:56:43.240
you know you might be freaking late bloomer esiason boy
00:56:47.720
uh but you got to get out the icky woods baby and get into freaking you know into some greener pastures
00:56:53.960
because that's what it seems like um you know there's kind of two roads to go usually
00:56:59.320
the road where you got to put a little more effort in the road where you could just take it easy
00:57:04.200
so i put in a little effort get through the summer school dude and then have some opportunities
00:57:09.000
but don't be a little hoe you feel me man get out there gang bro um man let's take a patreon
00:57:16.600
question that came in sorry to just be going to the questions today guys i know sometimes this maybe
00:57:21.240
looks like kind of a crutch but um this weekend i'm coming to some shows though i will tell you this
00:57:26.360
i'm excited i'm going to be in san antonio on wednesday i'm going to be in austin on thursday
00:57:31.720
tulsa on friday and oklahoma city on saturday uh and all those shows everybody all the seats
00:57:37.160
i believe are sold out there'll be a couple tickets maybe released but i do not know when
00:57:43.320
so uh but those uh yeah i'm excited i'm really really excited to get down there i love going to texas
00:57:58.520
here's a question that came in faye dvorak from our patreon she hit us up do you do your family
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members listen to the podcast are they supportive of you sharing stories about your life and family on
00:58:11.720
the podcast and in your stand-up material uh thank you for the the uh the support faye and uh the
00:58:20.840
question yeah i think so you know they don't really admit to it if they do my brother sometimes will say
00:58:28.120
i listen to some of it you know he he listens to it from i think a very like um unjudgmental place he
00:58:36.200
told me one time he said hey man be careful about sharing what you feel sometimes or sharing stuff
00:58:42.440
he just you don't want to kind of corner yourself into a weird place where you know uh he said just
00:58:51.400
be careful just be careful you know um you know i think uh uh he goes i think you just need just you
00:59:01.800
you know he wasn't saying to stop he didn't say don't he just said be careful uh and i can understand
00:59:07.480
what he's saying you know sometimes it's like you know what stuff is is like personal to share and
00:59:13.000
what stuff isn't um but my family was never really close when i was growing up so it's kind of i feel
00:59:21.160
like we've always almost looked at each other as these separate entities than we have as a group
00:59:26.840
and actually even to go back to the co-parenting stuff you know i feel like in some ways i've
00:59:32.760
really struggled because because of that you know i remember i only saw my father kiss my mother one
00:59:38.360
time and it was on the top of her head uh during it was her birthday and she was pissed off about it
00:59:45.720
kind of you know and he just they'd be each been having you know they had a little bit of that
00:59:51.240
champagne that guy dropped some off and my dad always said he bought it but you know him and the guy
00:59:56.440
we'd hear him fight about the prices of the champagne and shit on the porch and the shit was free so my
01:00:01.880
dad's like you getting you know we all know this is you you know old stale champagne so but anyway he
01:00:09.960
brought in a bottle for my mom's birthday and then he kissed from the top of the head and i just remember
01:00:14.840
seeing my mom just be disappointed and and i was already such an aware kid i'm not saying that that
01:00:22.200
damaged me or changed my life or anything you know i was already predestined to have a level of i think
01:00:28.520
awareness as a child that i was going to be highly sensitive but you know but to go back to just a
01:00:38.680
previous like you know we my family didn't build up those connections i didn't really have an
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understanding of relationships you know my father slept on the couch always i never saw him in my
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i didn't even know that they had a room together you know i didn't even understand it um so you know
01:01:00.120
i think i definitely picked up on that energy you know i don't know if i could ever share a room with
01:01:04.680
a woman i've you know he says talk about that sometimes uh if i ever got a house or something i would
01:01:09.800
have to get maybe a different room for my wife or a separate house and that sounds crazy man but
01:01:15.640
that's just you know i don't know and maybe i can defeat that over time but man it just there's
01:01:25.640
something that's you know i don't know if i was out there and i you know i remember on christmas i
01:01:30.760
would go out there my dad would be on the couch all the time and it was just kind of weird and
01:01:36.120
but i don't know as a young man as a young kid if you go out you know i remember feeling sorry for
01:01:40.760
my dad i felt bad for him and i remember like my mom was in this closed off space at the other end
01:01:46.680
of the house it wasn't really closed off but there was like a couple doors you know that usually at
01:01:52.040
night i think were closed and so i could i could go knock or someone but my dad was there he was
01:01:56.680
accessible he was on the couch and so so i would you know end up seeing him and he was
01:02:03.000
kind of awkward and uncomfortable maybe and also older and probably asleep and smelling like champagne
01:02:09.800
and and so my mom always felt closed off to me she felt far away i think when i was a kid
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um and my dad probably felt rejected or emasculated or let down and those energies i think do float around
01:02:27.720
in the air they float around in the air and they land in a child sometimes in ways we don't know in
01:02:33.160
places we don't know and they land in a child um and look i'm just kind of guesstimating trying to
01:02:40.040
just go through my own you know my own history like searching my browser history of my own brain
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and feelings but but so we didn't have that connection is what i'm saying uh we didn't have a
01:02:56.200
lot of those connections me my sisters you know then i you know my dad left and then he passed away
01:03:01.480
i went to live with friends at 14. we never we're always separate entities so if they were to be upset
01:03:11.880
about things i think they probably learn more about me through this um and sometimes i think the only
01:03:19.480
reason i even do this podcast is just kind of you know in this real far fetched circle is so
01:03:29.480
you know so um maybe just so my mother will know who i am a little bit or something i don't know that
01:03:36.040
might sound crazy but uh so sometimes i hope that she listens you know but i don't know if she and i are
01:03:45.400
at the communication level where she would ever you know she'll say sometimes i i saw some of your
01:03:49.640
podcasts or i saw a clip but i don't know if she
01:03:55.160
you know i don't know i mean sometimes i feel like i mean i've said it before that
01:03:57.960
most of my life is just a debt has been just a desperate just
01:04:12.760
connect with my mother probably and not even an attempt that
01:04:18.120
i'm always conscious of sometimes an attempt that's just
01:04:25.400
you know just like somebody throwing just rocks into like a lake at night or something
01:04:29.160
and they're also are into the ocean and they're also sleepwalking so they don't even know they're
01:04:38.040
you know it's interesting when i if i really i wish i could really had a good chart of everything
01:04:42.520
i've ever done in my life or because i bet there's a lot of uh
01:04:48.760
just miscellaneous patterns that i've had that have just been attempts to connect
01:04:58.120
with a mother or with someone with a parent with someone or with myself even maybe
01:05:05.880
you know i'm i'm not sure but sometimes i wonder if uh
01:05:35.000
if our behaviors are just an inverse of like unsettled
01:05:48.520
like if everything we do is just this kind of mummy kind of like this zombie walk to
01:06:08.520
i don't know but that's why i mean i do think that the parenting is very important
01:06:12.120
you know because you're just going to give the kid the best shot
01:06:15.720
so you can't have the kid fucking uber in two hours to go meet the other one i think that's a
01:06:20.200
little tricky or it's just not ideal but then also that's a lot of where we are these days
01:06:30.120
but moving forward we can do it different so if our parents were far away from each other
01:06:37.160
well am i able to be able to have an adult conversation with this man or this woman and
01:06:41.400
say hey you know i know we have this kid you know we disagree with you know we're not in love
01:06:47.480
but can we be can we cohabitate or be in the same space or close enough to each other where we
01:06:55.640
can have an effect on this kid's life uh easily you know but just because it could be something
01:07:02.040
that's really going to start popping off or it could not be you know we don't know which way
01:07:06.600
the tide's always going to go sometimes the moon will get tricky and kind of do a different pull
01:07:12.840
on the water um what else let's take in one more call you know and thank you guys so much for the
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calls and for helping me think about these things and and for hearing your thoughts you know i do love
01:07:25.960
the fact that uh you know it's episodes like this that kind of remind me not like that helped me
01:07:33.240
they don't remind me they really helped me uh try not to be a know-it-all
01:07:40.440
man and that's a scary thing isn't it because that's easy that's an easy thing for me to be a
01:07:46.440
know-it-all not to listen not to connect you know just to be cut off because it's more comfortable
01:07:55.160
if i know it all then i don't have to learn anything from you
01:07:57.560
if i know and the truth i don't know much i don't even know much think about that think about
01:08:07.400
all there is to know and think about what you what do when i think about all there is to know and
01:08:12.760
when i think and when i think about what i know dude um we're gonna need to see you in the principal's
01:08:20.440
office theo because i am uh i'm definitely uh turning in my work late you feel me i'm coming
01:08:29.880
up a little light so yeah you know but it's funny that i'll be a know-it-all sometimes just to really
01:08:37.080
prevent me from because if i know it all i don't have to listen to somebody else tell me something
01:08:41.160
i don't have to listen to your idea i don't have to connect with you it's just another way i don't have
01:08:45.720
to connect you know you can i can stay out of it i can stay alone i can stay just me
01:08:57.160
you know i don't have to let anybody in it's you know and it's
01:09:04.040
i don't know it's just a wild experiment that we're in isn't it
01:09:07.160
it is a wild beautiful possibly planned experiment and this is the gift man this is it
01:09:19.560
uh let's hear another call right here onward hey theo this is uh you can call me cc for now
01:09:26.600
you'll understand why i was uh okay cc and i like names like that cc dd
01:09:32.920
um randy uh timmy tim tim i like some different names uh blazer i used to know this fellow named
01:09:45.240
blazer i had a problem that i thought you know the rat king in the kingdom might be able to help me out
01:09:51.000
with so uh one of my co-workers i started working with about three months ago he's been there 27 years
01:09:56.840
with the company uh he only talks about our boss uh about how we screwed him over over some money
01:10:02.360
and some workers comp whatever i try to stay out of it but i got some big tony ferguson here so
01:10:07.160
people think i'm a good listener you got that t ferg huh fergie ferg love you a long time boy
01:10:13.240
that them you got them freaking you got them sonars huh them bat wings them dark sound fucking suckers
01:10:21.080
onward uh anyway um so the other day he showed me uh uh one of his little pocket voice recorders
01:10:30.040
and so i'm worried that i'm on cctv looking at this little pocket voice recorder device
01:10:37.320
and uh i know snitches get stitches but i think this dude is trying to blackmail him
01:10:41.560
and my boss is a good guy like i know his family so i'm i'm wondering what should i do should i
01:10:47.640
tell tell tell my boss tell his family leave like an anonymous note whatever um yeah that's pretty
01:10:55.480
much it uh gang gang i guess and peace the fuck out well look man it sounds like you are right now
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knowledgeable of a crime so if you're knowledgeable of a crime then you got to tell somebody
01:11:15.240
you got to turn somebody in bucko i mean if if somebody's taking money from your boss because
01:11:23.800
here's the thing if the money goes away and then what the company's gonna go away
01:11:32.280
dude if the money goes away you're gonna get paid less if the boss doesn't have his you know suddenly
01:11:37.320
his family don't have as many uh capri sons in the cabinet uh they're not going down there to
01:11:43.560
pensacola every year to get the you know to get sunburned as a team then if they don't have those
01:11:49.560
opportunity you know if there's less money in the boss's pocket then there's gonna be less pay to go
01:11:54.440
around for you guys so if your boy over there is blackmailing people that's really that's a dark art
01:12:01.560
man so i think but then also if you just don't know what he's doing and he's got these crazy phone
01:12:07.640
videos and shit and you sound you know and you turning him in you over here inspector gadget and
01:12:12.680
and nobody's even there's no malfunction then you're gonna say you're gonna seem like a real muppet
01:12:18.040
you're gonna seem like a real fucking like a real just a just like a plastic missile like a little real
01:12:31.560
if you think he's blackmailing your boss i think you gotta say something which one of them is more
01:12:37.240
your boy that's what i would go with you know i don't think anybody extorting anybody exploiting
01:12:43.000
anybody i mean i'm getting exploited by this shitty uh bird dogs company you know these people
01:12:48.520
you know they they baited us to with helping out with a video helping out their company and then the
01:12:53.960
guy um is a piece of shit you know so that kind of stuff it's not cool to do to people if somebody's
01:13:02.600
stealing from someone it's not right now if your boss is a real piece of shit and he owes the guy a
01:13:09.000
bunch of money or something and i think just trust your instincts i'm cool with robin hooding and if you
01:13:13.880
got a robin hood a little you know when i used to do checkout at the groceries i tell you when the
01:13:19.400
rich people would come through i'd scan one box of cereal i'd scan it three or four times they didn't
01:13:23.560
notice they had three carts they had two kids all all of the kids beautiful one of the kids had on
01:13:29.720
a sterling bracelet one time sterling silver 40 you know 40 carats or something you know 50 carats
01:13:37.720
like damn he's little this kid was fucking nine months old i'm like look at this kid
01:13:41.560
over here got dressed up like dang he got wrists like willie nelson dude had a bunch of damn turquoise
01:13:48.040
beautiful turquoise headers on his wrists and the kid barely could hold up a cabbage off his chest very
01:13:55.000
nine months old and these people got that money so i would you know i'd scan their box of cereal three
01:14:01.560
times and then when the mother come through and she only got a couple chives in there and she got a
01:14:07.800
you know she got a kid on one you know she got a kid on on each tit and one of them's kind of a
01:14:12.120
little bit jaundice i would say hey they had three boxes of cereal i'll scan it one just scan one
01:14:19.640
my register came out even so i think you play about i think you can you can do that one yourself man i
01:14:25.960
don't i mean if our listeners have a suggestion that's fine but as always you can hit the hotline with
01:14:30.360
anything 985-664-9503 and uh because yeah you just gotta you you know what's best man you gotta trust
01:14:40.680
yourself trust your instincts if this dude's out there scholar wagging then you gotta nip you know
01:14:48.840
you gotta fucking put a nick in his nuts put a nick in his nuts but if he's out there robbing
01:14:55.800
hood and baby then just fry or tuck a little buy about you know pick up a damn lamb leg and relax
01:15:03.720
um thank you guys for uh for being on the part of the episode this week we got some really neat guests
01:15:10.040
we got the uh the wolf of wall street is coming in this week jordan bell fort um who else we got
01:15:16.760
oh some really groovy ufc fighters uh you know roseanne is going on tour it looks like they're announcing
01:15:24.280
on the tour with andrew dice clay um mom called at the beginning of the podcast i checked in with
01:15:30.840
her you know i was driving over here and my uber driver was saying something and you know sometimes
01:15:38.200
it's easy for me to talk to my mom sometimes i'm so frustrated i just don't want to you know i don't
01:15:42.600
want to hear her voice you know i just heard it so much when i was a kid and it was uncomfortable to me
01:15:48.360
and i'm not mad at her it's just this is what happened and so i don't want to hear it i don't
01:15:53.400
even like hearing if i get into an uber i asked the man i said we turn off the direction the woman saying
01:15:58.600
the directions over and over again i don't know why any uber driver would leave that on immediately i
01:16:05.400
can't tip somebody that leaves that voice on like this is some lady's just telling us where to go for the
01:16:10.840
next 22 minutes i'm out bro but i had him turn it off and i said man sometimes it just it grates me
01:16:19.560
that voice he said why i said you know it just reminds me i think i'm being young my mom was always
01:16:23.720
on me and it just graded me man it just was too much uh there was nothing to balance it out you know
01:16:31.080
my there wasn't that the other softer voice of a father sometimes and or my mother couldn't be a soft
01:16:37.160
voice that she wanted to be because she had four children and there was no man to help you know
01:16:42.840
she and my mother didn't even maybe have a chance to be a you know a real sweet mother
01:16:51.880
but it you know it's and he goes well you know you just have to love your mother and he just reminded me
01:16:58.920
and he goes you just call her you text her you know no one else has that experience with you where
01:17:03.080
they carry you in your they carry them in your body i mean what if a sandwich that you ate
01:17:10.680
you know showed up nine months later and told you you know it was your son and it looked a little
01:17:15.080
bit more like you what if you had a you know you had a rubin or you had a blt and that bitch showed
01:17:19.400
up nine months later and said it was your child you'd be like damn what you were in my body but i didn't
01:17:26.200
know it was like that and they're like it is like that it is like that papa
01:17:37.720
it's too no it's too uh it's too um um pequeño el you know my spanish is kind of bad or or this you
01:17:47.800
know or the connection is bad here but sometimes you know we find our family where we can you know
01:17:52.840
we find our family where we can and i'm happy to have i'm just happy to just be here today with you
01:17:56.920
guys man this is uh honestly my weekend i'm really i had a good weekend um i met some new
01:18:02.280
friends i actually had some neat experiences but uh but this has been the best part of it by far
01:18:07.480
you guys be good to yourselves um and i'm gonna play making it on the way in we played alabama
01:18:13.720
by bishop gunn and on the way out i'm gonna play making it by bishop gunn i'm just staying
01:18:19.640
on that bg they're gonna be opening up for the rolling stones can you believe that that little
01:18:25.880
band they're opening up the rolling stones in houston texas uh here we go you guys be good to yourselves
01:18:49.640
i ain't seen home in about a hundred days i can almost hear mama pray for my restless soul
01:18:58.680
and i ain't made a dollar i ain't spent but where it's going ain't killed me yet i still get where i'm down to go
01:19:12.680
i'm makin it i'm makin it i'm makin wrong feel right i'm makin it and it helps where i'm headed
01:19:46.360
most all of my plans slept right through my hands and wound up next to me broken on the ground
01:19:57.880
if this bottle was an hour glance i'd say that i'm about an hour past the minute
01:20:20.440
i'm makin it and it helps where i'm headed there
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A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:23:04.420
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
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