This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 01, 2018


Fear ｜ This Past Weekend #71


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 20 minutes

Words per minute

166.06706

Word count

13,325

Sentence count

490

Harmful content

Misogyny

99

sentences flagged

Toxicity

237

sentences flagged

Hate speech

80

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Stevie Starlight is a rapper and singer from New York City. He is known for his songs Come Over and Baby Titty which is a song about a little girl who has a heart hanging off her chest.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:01.000 What are we?
00:00:04.000 I'm going to be alright.
00:00:31.000 Hear that?
00:00:33.000 Banana.
00:00:44.000 Hear this naughty here.
00:00:47.000 How naughty is this thing?
00:00:55.000 Ooh.
00:00:57.000 Ooh.
00:01:00.000 Somebody's shopping for underpants. 0.99
00:01:05.000 Being naughty.
00:01:08.000 Mmm. 0.88
00:01:09.000 Somebody's wearing a dirty scarf around their neck.
00:01:13.000 Who is it? 0.98
00:01:15.000 It's you.
00:01:17.000 It's never too late
00:01:20.000 To come over
00:01:25.000 Time slips away
00:01:27.000 From you and me now
00:01:31.000 Wow.
00:01:32.000 It's never too late
00:01:35.000 To come over
00:01:36.000 Right there.
00:01:37.000 And that is
00:01:39.000 Stevie Starlight.
00:01:41.000 And some people think like
00:01:43.000 Who's Stevie Starlight?
00:01:44.000 You know?
00:01:45.000 It sounds like somebody
00:01:46.000 You know
00:01:47.000 That uh
00:01:48.000 You know
00:01:49.000 Roller skates around
00:01:50.000 And just
00:01:51.000 You know
00:01:52.000 Puts dirty peppermints
00:01:53.000 Into the mouths of 0.96
00:01:54.000 Adolescents
00:01:55.000 Or you know
00:01:56.000 Middle aged children
00:01:58.000 You know
00:01:59.000 Who's Stevie Starlight?
00:02:01.000 And the answer is 0.99
00:02:03.000 I don't fucking know 0.99
00:02:04.000 Who it is. 0.99
00:02:05.000 Because that's the way the world works now
00:02:08.000 Somebody sends me an email
00:02:09.000 They said
00:02:10.000 Hey I'm Stevie Starlight
00:02:12.000 And this is
00:02:13.000 My life's work
00:02:14.000 This is the magnum opus of my existence
00:02:17.000 This is this
00:02:18.000 Dirty naughty hit
00:02:20.000 And that's Stevie Starlight right there
00:02:22.000 And that is called
00:02:24.000 Come over
00:02:25.000 Time slips away
00:02:30.000 From you and me now
00:02:33.000 And that's
00:02:34.000 That's the kind of song you hear
00:02:35.000 If you're like
00:02:37.000 You know
00:02:38.000 If you broke into somebody's house
00:02:39.000 And you're trying on their clothes
00:02:40.000 You know
00:02:41.000 That's what I feel like
00:02:42.000 You know?
00:02:43.000 It's never too late
00:02:45.000 To come over
00:02:48.000 That's what Steve
00:02:49.000 That's that Stevie Starlight
00:02:51.000 And Stevie Starlight sounds like
00:02:52.000 The kind of dude
00:02:53.000 Never let babysit a kid
00:02:56.000 Obviously
00:02:58.000 Yeah he might
00:02:59.000 You know
00:03:00.000 Have an ad on the internet
00:03:01.000 To be a babysitter
00:03:02.000 Might also have
00:03:03.000 Ulterior motives
00:03:05.000 And that's just my
00:03:07.000 That's just my
00:03:08.000 You know
00:03:09.000 I'm just basing this solely on
00:03:10.000 On the name Stevie Starlight 0.99
00:03:13.000 Or he could be the fucking 0.99
00:03:15.000 Awesomest airplane pilot 0.99
00:03:16.000 You ever get on a plane with
00:03:18.000 Imagine you get on an airplane
00:03:21.000 You get on 0.99
00:03:22.000 Fucking no shirt on 0.99
00:03:23.000 The pilot 0.99
00:03:25.000 Zero shirts
00:03:27.000 You think he has a shirt on?
00:03:28.000 Well apparently
00:03:29.000 You're not
00:03:30.000 You're not getting a good look at him
00:03:31.000 Because he does not
00:03:32.000 He's got on chest hair
00:03:34.000 He's got on a Southwest
00:03:36.000 He has a
00:03:37.000 It says Southwest
00:03:38.000 Tattooed across his chest
00:03:39.000 Pierced 0.99
00:03:41.000 Pierced nipples 0.97
00:03:42.000 Both of them pierced 0.96
00:03:45.000 And each piercing
00:03:46.000 Has like a
00:03:47.000 Half of a heart
00:03:48.000 Hanging off of it
00:03:49.000 One half says
00:03:51.000 B-E-F-R-I 1.00
00:03:53.000 The other half 0.95
00:03:54.000 Hanging off the other nipple 0.96
00:03:55.000 Says 1.00
00:03:56.000 S-T-E-N-D-S 1.00
00:03:58.000 He has a
00:03:59.000 He has a
00:04:00.000 Best friend's heart
00:04:01.000 Hanging half and half
00:04:02.000 Off each
00:04:03.000 You know
00:04:04.000 Slippery little
00:04:06.000 You know
00:04:07.000 Little nerve ending
00:04:09.000 Little
00:04:10.000 Dirty little brown
00:04:12.000 Baby 0.99
00:04:13.000 Titty nipple 1.00
00:04:15.000 And that's Stevie Starlight 0.99
00:04:18.000 Imagine you get on that airplane
00:04:19.000 And there he is
00:04:21.000 You're like
00:04:22.000 Captain
00:04:23.000 And he just cranks it up
00:04:30.000 And you know
00:04:31.000 You're going 1.00
00:04:32.000 You're going to fucking heaven 1.00
00:04:34.000 That's where you're going dude 1.00
00:04:35.000 That's the only place this jet goes
00:04:37.000 Newark
00:04:38.000 To
00:04:39.000 Heaven
00:04:47.000 But you know what this is guys
00:04:48.000 This is that comeback music
00:04:49.000 This will make you stomp your foot dude 0.98
00:04:55.000 This will make you fucking just put your 1.00
00:04:56.000 Both your fingers into a baby's mouth 1.00
00:04:58.000 And just take that little
00:05:00.000 Whatever you gave them some
00:05:02.000 Creme peaches or whatever you just fed them
00:05:04.000 It will make you take it right back out of their mouth
00:05:06.000 And just eat it right in front of them
00:05:11.000 You can see right now you can feel somebody just
00:05:14.000 And the baby is just like looking like
00:05:17.000 The baby is like what?
00:05:19.000 Yeah baby
00:05:20.000 That's what happens in this universe
00:05:21.000 Welcome to the world
00:05:22.000 Because sometimes people will take the food
00:05:24.000 Right out of your mouth
00:05:26.000 And I'm just fired up today because I'm back man
00:05:29.000 That's what I felt like
00:05:30.000 When I saw this hit from Stevie Starlight
00:05:33.000 This come over
00:05:35.000 That's what I just
00:05:37.000 This is like Rocky
00:05:41.000 It's like that Rocky music
00:05:42.000 But for like a guy who sometimes questions his sexuality
00:05:45.000 And that's what I felt
00:05:47.000 And that's what I felt
00:05:48.000 I mean it's just like man
00:05:53.000 That's that Stevie Starlight
00:05:55.000 And I want to thank you guys for being here with me
00:05:57.000 Welcome to this past Thursday
00:05:58.000 And this is that comeback
00:06:00.000 You know last on Monday I just felt rattled man
00:06:04.000 I just didn't feel
00:06:06.000 I didn't feel good
00:06:08.000 You know I just felt
00:06:10.000 And I was thinking about how I felt
00:06:12.000 And uh
00:06:14.000 And I guess I just felt a lot of fear man
00:06:16.000 I just felt
00:06:17.000 I felt like the episode
00:06:19.000 Or just be I just I don't know
00:06:21.000 I just didn't feel good
00:06:23.000 You know
00:06:24.000 I didn't feel that good
00:06:26.000 And I just didn't
00:06:28.000 I just felt disconnected
00:06:30.000 You know I just felt disconnected
00:06:31.000 And I'd been doing everything that I kind of need to do to stay connected
00:06:35.000 Because for me I have to follow
00:06:37.000 I have to try to follow a 0.81
00:06:39.000 You know organized set of
00:06:42.000 You know things each day to try and stay connected
00:06:45.000 And I'd been doing that
00:06:47.000 And I just and I was feeling not connected
00:06:49.000 And that was you know it was just getting a little bit scary to me
00:06:51.000 But uh
00:06:53.000 I want to thank some of you guys that reached out
00:06:55.000 And um
00:06:56.000 And just said hey man
00:06:57.000 You know uh
00:06:59.000 You know keep your head up
00:07:01.000 Everything's okay
00:07:03.000 You know and sometimes we just have to hear that
00:07:04.000 Sometimes we have to hear somebody say that to us
00:07:06.000 And so I appreciate it
00:07:07.000 That was some of you guys that um
00:07:09.000 That did that
00:07:11.000 And I just was just afraid
00:07:12.000 I was thinking about it
00:07:14.000 I guess I was just afraid
00:07:16.000 You know I had some fear that
00:07:18.000 You know we've been getting more listeners to the
00:07:20.000 To the show
00:07:22.000 And we have like um
00:07:24.000 We have you know some
00:07:25.000 Some exciting plans coming up for
00:07:28.000 This year and for the coming months
00:07:30.000 We're going to do a state of the
00:07:31.000 Podcast address
00:07:33.000 On on um
00:07:35.000 On Monday's upcoming episode
00:07:37.000 Where we're just going to kind of
00:07:39.000 You know we have some things that are you know
00:07:40.000 Going to happen that we want to start to um
00:07:42.000 You know unravel out into the universe
00:07:44.000 And I guess I was just feeling like a lot of pressure
00:07:47.000 Um
00:07:49.000 You know and I was and I just
00:07:51.000 I just kind of lost my
00:07:52.000 You ever seen a baby deer
00:07:54.000 Sometime if a baby deer gets born
00:07:56.000 They come out of their mom 0.98
00:07:58.000 First of all a baby deer walks out backwards into the world
00:08:02.000 Do you know that?
00:08:04.000 Some animals come out frontwards
00:08:06.000 Humans
00:08:08.000 You know?
00:08:09.000 Figures dude 1.00
00:08:11.000 Idiot humans coming out frontwards 1.00
00:08:13.000 What an idiot 1.00
00:08:15.000 Because somebody can attack your head 1.00
00:08:17.000 Immediately
00:08:18.000 Say you're being born 1.00
00:08:19.000 And there's a damn war going on 0.99
00:08:21.000 Or there's a fire 0.99
00:08:23.000 And you stick your head out first 1.00
00:08:25.000 What an idiot 1.00
00:08:26.000 You're an idiot 1.00
00:08:28.000 And when I say you I mean all of us 1.00
00:08:29.000 Because that's how we do it
00:08:31.000 And that should show us right there
00:08:32.000 That humans
00:08:34.000 We're not
00:08:36.000 It's you know
00:08:37.000 It's not a
00:08:39.000 We're not really pro
00:08:41.000 We're not 0.98
00:08:43.000 We're kind of just dumb a little 0.98
00:08:44.000 We go head first into the world 0.97
00:08:45.000 I mean it's brave
00:08:47.000 You know it's adventurous
00:08:49.000 It's that pioneer spirit
00:08:51.000 But to imagine
00:08:53.000 Think about this
00:08:54.000 It's a place you've never been
00:08:56.000 Because you've never been anywhere
00:08:59.000 Because you're brand new
00:09:01.000 Into the universe
00:09:03.000 As far as we know
00:09:05.000 And you're going to stick your head out there first 1.00
00:09:08.000 What a damn Muppet 1.00
00:09:13.000 What a greased up 1.00
00:09:16.000 Damn 1.00
00:09:18.000 Snicker sniffing Muppet 1.00
00:09:20.000 It's crazy
00:09:22.000 And that's why
00:09:24.000 Breach birthers 1.00
00:09:25.000 I trust a breach birther more often 1.00
00:09:27.000 And I wish that if
00:09:29.000 We should all have to wear a little name tag
00:09:31.000 That says if we were breach or head first
00:09:33.000 Because while head first
00:09:34.000 It's brave and everything 1.00
00:09:36.000 Also way idiot 0.99
00:09:37.000 Yeah 1.00
00:09:38.000 Never been in the universe before
00:09:39.000 I'm just going to stick my head out first
00:09:42.000 Well that's nuts
00:09:44.000 So breach birthers 1.00
00:09:45.000 At least they're like
00:09:48.000 I'm going to put a toe into the universe
00:09:50.000 And see how it feels
00:09:52.000 Maybe I'll put two feet in the universe
00:09:55.000 Way more
00:09:57.000 And if a breach birth
00:09:58.000 If it's a fire
00:09:59.000 If it's a war
00:10:00.000 Or if somebody lops their heads off 0.83
00:10:02.000 Their legs off
00:10:03.000 You still got the rest of your body
00:10:04.000 You can still get born
00:10:05.000 And go live out in the world
00:10:07.000 In a wheelchair
00:10:08.000 Or on a skateboard
00:10:10.000 If you don't have any legs
00:10:11.000 Sometimes when people don't have legs
00:10:13.000 You know you can see them on the internet
00:10:14.000 It's a lot of
00:10:15.000 Some men
00:10:16.000 And some men in India
00:10:17.000 Even they duct tape them to a skateboard
00:10:18.000 And that's their body
00:10:20.000 Is the skateboard you know
00:10:21.000 They still have their chest 0.99
00:10:23.000 And their genitalia 0.79
00:10:25.000 And hips 1.00
00:10:27.000 But
00:10:28.000 But anyhow
00:10:29.000 You know that's
00:10:31.000 That's kind of
00:10:32.000 You know I was just fearful
00:10:35.000 I was just scared
00:10:36.000 You know I think just some fear
00:10:38.000 That there's a lot going on
00:10:40.000 And that you know
00:10:41.000 And I was
00:10:42.000 That I was just going to mess up
00:10:44.000 You know that I just lost my confidence
00:10:46.000 I lost my footing for a second
00:10:48.000 And going back to what I was talking about
00:10:51.000 And going back to what I was talking about
00:10:53.000 A baby deer
00:10:55.000 They come in
00:10:56.000 They back into the universe
00:10:58.000 If you ever
00:10:59.000 Sometime I'll stay up at night
00:11:00.000 Watching animals be born on the internet
00:11:02.000 You know and I was watching funerals for a while
00:11:05.000 But my therapist said I should quit watching funerals
00:11:07.000 Because it's depressing
00:11:09.000 And I'll say this dude honestly
00:11:11.000 A lot of the funerals on the internet
00:11:13.000 Extremely long
00:11:15.000 Like most of them are Middle Eastern 1.00
00:11:17.000 I'm talking
00:11:19.000 You can watch
00:11:20.000 There's funerals on the internet that are six hours long
00:11:22.000 Not and not
00:11:24.000 Very bizarre
00:11:26.000 Exciting but also bizarre
00:11:28.000 But you can watch babies be born
00:11:29.000 But baby deers
00:11:30.000 They back into the universe
00:11:32.000 But when they get here
00:11:33.000 Their legs are so shaky
00:11:36.000 You know their legs are just like
00:11:39.000 Just long
00:11:41.000 Just they're almost just like marshmallow
00:11:43.000 With hoofs on the end 0.95
00:11:45.000 Imagine trying to stand up on marshmallow
00:11:48.000 I mean it's tough
00:11:50.000 It's almost you know it's
00:11:52.000 And sometimes if you do a lot of drugs or something
00:11:54.000 You can have that similar experience
00:11:56.000 But that's how baby deers are
00:11:58.000 And their legs shake
00:11:59.000 And that's how I felt
00:12:01.000 I just felt shaky
00:12:03.000 I felt like my legs and my neck
00:12:04.000 And everything was just marshmallow
00:12:06.000 And I just got
00:12:08.000 You know I just felt like
00:12:10.000 I didn't want to
00:12:12.000 I don't know
00:12:14.000 I just wanted
00:12:15.000 I don't know
00:12:16.000 I just didn't feel okay
00:12:18.000 And sometimes you're going to have days like that
00:12:20.000 And so that's just kind of what was going on
00:12:21.000 And I'm not apologizing
00:12:23.000 I'm not complaining
00:12:25.000 I'm not
00:12:26.000 I just was trying to
00:12:27.000 You know the past few days
00:12:28.000 I was just trying to think about what was going on
00:12:30.000 You know and sometimes 0.99
00:12:32.000 Fucking you know 0.99
00:12:33.000 The universe is going to be 1.00
00:12:35.000 It's going to be this
00:12:36.000 It's going to be this cool little
00:12:38.000 Crystal ball that I'm going to play with
00:12:40.000 And look at 0.99
00:12:41.000 And sometimes the universe is going to be a damn cannonball 0.99
00:12:44.000 That's going to rip right by 1.00
00:12:46.000 And just rip my sister's tits off 1.00
00:12:48.000 You know 1.00
00:12:49.000 Or it's going to just
00:12:50.000 Just come 0.99
00:12:52.000 Steaming fast right through my step daddy's legs 1.00
00:12:54.000 And just blast his nuts into the 1.00
00:12:56.000 The next 0.94
00:12:58.000 Nuttosphere
00:13:00.000 Sometimes that kind of stuff is going to happen
00:13:02.000 And that's what was going on
00:13:04.000 So I just had some fear man
00:13:06.000 You know I had some fear
00:13:08.000 Of
00:13:09.000 Of just failure I guess
00:13:11.000 I had some fear of
00:13:13.000 You know I don't know
00:13:14.000 Just everything
00:13:15.000 I had some fear
00:13:16.000 So that's what was going on with me
00:13:17.000 And today
00:13:18.000 And today
00:13:19.000 I'm feeling better
00:13:21.000 You know I've done some things
00:13:22.000 I went for a run
00:13:24.000 I'm staying
00:13:25.000 I'm just staying confident
00:13:26.000 I'm coming back man
00:13:28.000 I'm Stevie 0.96
00:13:29.000 Fucking starlight dude 0.95
00:13:30.000 I'm not Billy Blackhole 1.00
00:13:32.000 I'm not Billy Blackhole dude
00:13:34.000 I'm just
00:13:36.000 Falling into my own gravity
00:13:38.000 And I'm just going to go hide in my shirt
00:13:40.000 Like a Punxsutawney Phil
00:13:43.000 That's lazy and don't want to get out there
00:13:44.000 And do his work 1.00
00:13:46.000 And see what his fucking shadows going to do 0.99
00:13:48.000 I'm not going to be like that 0.99
00:13:50.000 I'm going to be like Stevie Starlight 0.99
00:13:52.000 And I'm going to fucking 0.99
00:13:53.000 When my mom's at work 0.99
00:13:54.000 I'm going to go in her room 0.99
00:13:56.000 And I'm going to get her nightgown out of the fucking closet 0.99
00:13:58.000 And I'm going to get in front of the mirror 0.99
00:14:00.000 And I'm going to
00:14:01.000 I'm going to be human
00:14:18.000 That's what I'm going to do
00:14:19.000 Thank you guys for joining me man
00:14:21.000 It's Thursday
00:14:23.000 What's going on?
00:14:24.000 What's going on in the universe?
00:14:26.000 I'm here, you know that
00:14:27.000 You're here
00:14:28.000 Thank you guys for joining me
00:14:30.000 And I want to thank everybody for listening
00:14:31.000 I want to thank everybody on YouTube for subscribing
00:14:33.000 We're up to 25,000 subscribers
00:14:36.000 When we get to 30,000
00:14:37.000 I'm going to put out some new comedy content for you guys
00:14:40.000 We have the studio
00:14:43.000 We got some updates coming up
00:14:45.000 And I'll announce all that stuff next week
00:14:48.000 But thank you guys for being here
00:14:51.000 What's been going on with me man?
00:14:54.000 What's been going on in the world?
00:14:55.000 The State of the Union address
00:14:58.000 Yeah, I think what gets me
00:15:01.000 In watching this
00:15:02.000 And in watching the State of the Union address
00:15:05.000 About a lot of the politics these days
00:15:08.000 Is that
00:15:10.000 It seems like
00:15:12.000 Like I don't think Trump is a neat guy
00:15:16.000 You know?
00:15:17.000 I don't think he's a great leader
00:15:19.000 You know, I don't think he embodies
00:15:21.000 You know, I don't think he
00:15:25.000 Gets people 0.71
00:15:27.000 You know, I think he is a shiesty businessman
00:15:32.000 But
00:15:34.000 With all those things said
00:15:36.000 I don't want America to fail
00:15:39.000 Just
00:15:41.000 It seems like there's a lot of people out there
00:15:43.000 That want Trump to fail
00:15:44.000 And want America to suffer
00:15:48.000 So that they can prove their point
00:15:51.000 Or so that they can be right
00:15:54.000 And that to me
00:15:56.000 That's where I don't understand what's going on
00:16:00.000 That doesn't
00:16:02.000 That doesn't seem right to me
00:16:04.000 Like I hope that
00:16:06.000 I hope that he succeeds
00:16:08.000 I hope that
00:16:10.000 That there's success for everyone
00:16:13.000 I hope that there's
00:16:15.000 You know, I hope that
00:16:17.000 That the political
00:16:19.000 That they are able to figure things out
00:16:20.000 And they get it right
00:16:22.000 And that things change
00:16:24.000 You know, and I'm not even a politico
00:16:26.000 I'm not even a fan of politics
00:16:28.000 But if I don't
00:16:30.000 If I don't think that
00:16:31.000 If I'm not hopeful
00:16:33.000 Then who am I?
00:16:34.000 Like then what am I
00:16:35.000 What am I doing here?
00:16:37.000 Then how do I even
00:16:38.000 Call myself an American?
00:16:40.000 If I'm not hopeful for
00:16:42.000 Better things in our country
00:16:45.000 You know, I
00:16:48.000 Because it's like
00:16:49.000 Even if good news comes out
00:16:50.000 If something positive happens
00:16:52.000 Nobody
00:16:54.000 It's like
00:16:56.000 There's so much
00:16:57.000 It's still negative stuff on the news
00:16:59.000 You know, it's still like
00:17:01.000 There's always like
00:17:02.000 A negative connotation with it
00:17:03.000 Like why can't we just be excited about something?
00:17:06.000 You know, like black unemployment 1.00
00:17:08.000 They said
00:17:09.000 And there's caveats to this I guess
00:17:11.000 But that black unemployment was at an all-time low
00:17:13.000 And you know what?
00:17:16.000 I don't know
00:17:18.000 I don't even
00:17:19.000 I didn't look into the stats of that
00:17:21.000 You know, I didn't look into it
00:17:23.000 But I'll say this
00:17:24.000 In my life
00:17:26.000 I've never even seen that on a ticker
00:17:27.000 I've never even heard that
00:17:28.000 I've never even heard that
00:17:32.000 In the zeitgeist of what's going on
00:17:35.000 I've never even heard that
00:17:37.000 Uttered in the world
00:17:39.000 And so
00:17:41.000 To have that be something that's said
00:17:45.000 That's amazing
00:17:47.000 I mean, when I was growing up
00:17:49.000 The only black people that had money 1.00
00:17:52.000 Were 0.97
00:17:54.000 The Dallas Cowboys
00:17:56.000 And people on that movie
00:17:58.000 Coming to America 0.97
00:18:00.000 Those are the only wealthy black people that you would see 0.99
00:18:02.000 And I don't mean that as a shun or anything like that
00:18:05.000 I'm talking
00:18:06.000 Facts
00:18:07.000 And those are the facts from my eyes
00:18:09.000 So those are just my facts
00:18:12.000 You know, when I was growing up
00:18:15.000 You didn't
00:18:16.000 There wasn't a rich black man in my town
00:18:21.000 You know, I remember my mother
00:18:23.000 For a while dated a man who was
00:18:25.000 Black and Jewish
00:18:28.000 And he was
00:18:31.000 And I guess
00:18:33.000 One of his parents might have been
00:18:34.000 White
00:18:36.000 Yeah, one of his parents I guess
00:18:37.000 Was Jewish and white 0.55
00:18:38.000 And then one of his parents was black
00:18:40.000 And he was the only
00:18:41.000 He was the
00:18:43.000 The closest thing I'd seen to
00:18:44.000 Like a wealthy black man 0.98
00:18:46.000 You know 0.82
00:18:48.000 But
00:18:50.000 And he was from New Orleans
00:18:52.000 But I didn't
00:18:54.000 You know, there just
00:18:55.000 It wasn't something that was going on
00:18:57.000 But now
00:18:59.000 Dude, you go to Atlanta 25 years ago
00:19:02.000 When you go to Atlanta now
00:19:03.000 Now
00:19:05.000 Dude, you go walk through the Lenox Mall
00:19:07.000 In Atlanta
00:19:08.000 And you're white 0.85
00:19:10.000 You will 0.98
00:19:11.000 Well, anyway, I felt like the poorest person
00:19:13.000 In town
00:19:15.000 There's a lot of black wealth 0.99
00:19:17.000 You know, there's a lot of black opportunity
00:19:20.000 And I'm not saying like
00:19:22.000 I've had nothing to do with this
00:19:24.000 But I'm not saying that
00:19:26.000 This isn't something that I've seen in my lifetime
00:19:28.000 In my lifetime
00:19:29.000 And so
00:19:30.000 This isn't, you know
00:19:31.000 It's something that is exciting
00:19:33.000 You know, it's something that is cool to see
00:19:36.000 It's something where you can see that change can happen
00:19:39.000 You know, so if you
00:19:41.000 So if I hear a stat like that
00:19:43.000 Or if I hear something that's positive
00:19:45.000 You know, I'm still going to be hopeful for America
00:19:47.000 Whereas I feel like there's people out there
00:19:49.000 That even if
00:19:52.000 Say if
00:19:54.000 You know, the current political regime
00:19:57.000 Solved all the
00:19:58.000 Say if they cured cancer
00:20:00.000 That there's people out there that would be like
00:20:03.000 Meh
00:20:05.000 Like, you know, like they're just
00:20:08.000 And at that point it makes me wonder
00:20:10.000 If I'm thinking that way
00:20:12.000 Is it more about me?
00:20:13.000 Like what's wrong with me?
00:20:15.000 If I'm stuck on that?
00:20:17.000 That oh, it's yeah
00:20:19.000 Because then it's not like
00:20:21.000 It's not like I really am interested in the world being a certain way
00:20:25.000 It's in
00:20:26.000 I'm interested in the world becoming a certain way
00:20:28.000 The way that I want it to become that way
00:20:32.000 Or
00:20:34.000 Or something like
00:20:35.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:20:36.000 I don't know
00:20:37.000 It's just
00:20:38.000 I just don't understand
00:20:40.000 You know, there's so many people that just don't even seem hopeful
00:20:44.000 You know, they're like love
00:20:45.000 You know, love, love, love, love
00:20:48.000 But then, you know, everything on television
00:20:50.000 There's just so much hate
00:20:52.000 It's like how are you going to get to love
00:20:56.000 If all you're doing is hating all the time?
00:21:00.000 You know, it's the same thing that I
00:21:02.000 You know, that makes you
00:21:03.000 Like I don't
00:21:04.000 Like people that hate so much
00:21:06.000 And so many, you know, there's
00:21:08.000 You know, you see read so many articles
00:21:10.000 And so much anti-USA
00:21:13.000 Anti-American
00:21:15.000 Anti-Trump sentiment
00:21:17.000 And I get it
00:21:18.000 Like Trump is not easily likable
00:21:20.000 At all
00:21:21.000 But
00:21:22.000 If you're sitting there hating him
00:21:27.000 And then also hate
00:21:29.000 And not wanting any success
00:21:31.000 For
00:21:33.000 For the next few years that he's in office
00:21:36.000 Or whatever
00:21:37.000 Then what does that mean about you?
00:21:39.000 Or what does that mean?
00:21:40.000 If that's me, what does that mean about me?
00:21:42.000 Like
00:21:44.000 Is it more about what I want?
00:21:46.000 Or is it more about what's
00:21:47.000 You know, that people
00:21:49.000 That things could actually
00:21:51.000 Get better?
00:21:53.000 You know, and how do I get to
00:21:55.000 And if all I do is hate something
00:21:58.000 Where's my love?
00:22:01.000 You know, I mean there was
00:22:03.000 Dude, growing up there was so many
00:22:05.000 Like it was
00:22:07.000 You know, it was tough
00:22:08.000 I remember there was
00:22:09.000 You know, it was tough growing up in a community where
00:22:16.000 There was so much poverty in the black community
00:22:21.000 Where they had just generations of
00:22:26.000 Of lack of education
00:22:29.000 Generations of lack of desire
00:22:32.000 Generations of lack of opportunity
00:22:35.000 And then it got to the point where
00:22:38.000 You know, the kids that
00:22:40.000 Some of the kids that I would grow up with
00:22:43.000 They just had nothing
00:22:45.000 They didn't have anything inside of them
00:22:47.000 You know, and I'm not saying this to
00:22:50.000 Make fun of them or to point fingers at them
00:22:52.000 I'm saying this because like
00:22:54.000 There would be instances where 0.99
00:22:56.000 You know, I would get jumped by black kids 1.00
00:22:58.000 Or I would get, you know, threatened 0.92
00:23:00.000 Or I had a girlfriend that used to get
00:23:02.000 You know, molested, if you will 0.99
00:23:08.000 By, you know, a tougher black guy on the school bus 0.99
00:23:12.000 And
00:23:14.000 And at the time, like, you know
00:23:17.000 I didn't understand a lot of that stuff
00:23:19.000 I didn't understand a lot of
00:23:21.000 You know, where some of these kids were
00:23:25.000 In the history of time
00:23:27.000 And in their lives
00:23:28.000 You know, but
00:23:31.000 But I
00:23:32.000 But I would
00:23:34.000 But I had to
00:23:36.000 But I
00:23:38.000 I could still
00:23:40.000 Even though I was angry
00:23:42.000 You know, over time
00:23:45.000 I understood
00:23:47.000 I could understand what was going on
00:23:49.000 You know, I could understand that
00:23:51.000 Sure, even though
00:23:53.000 You know, some of this behavior
00:23:55.000 Is out there
00:23:57.000 And some of it, of course
00:23:59.000 Is whoever's fault it is
00:24:01.000 The actual
00:24:03.000 Person doing the behavior
00:24:05.000 It's their fault
00:24:07.000 There's also an element over time
00:24:10.000 That
00:24:12.000 Is built into
00:24:14.000 Their world
00:24:15.000 Their world
00:24:16.000 Or a lack of elements
00:24:17.000 That are built into
00:24:18.000 Some of these kids' lives
00:24:20.000 That makes them
00:24:22.000 Be able to function
00:24:24.000 And be comfortable
00:24:26.000 In the society
00:24:28.000 In society
00:24:29.000 And therefore
00:24:31.000 You know, that's why
00:24:32.000 Sometimes they would act out
00:24:33.000 And behave the way they did
00:24:35.000 And I had to understand that
00:24:37.000 And I would still have to
00:24:38.000 And I was still hopeful
00:24:40.000 For these kids
00:24:41.000 And for these communities
00:24:42.000 You know, because
00:24:43.000 Even though
00:24:44.000 Maybe my
00:24:45.000 Some of my life
00:24:46.000 Wasn't as bad
00:24:48.000 We were still
00:24:50.000 Right there
00:24:51.000 You know, in the same
00:24:53.000 Neighborhoods
00:24:54.000 In the same
00:24:55.000 School bus
00:24:56.000 In the same
00:24:57.000 Circle
00:24:59.000 And
00:25:00.000 And even though
00:25:02.000 I hated
00:25:04.000 I mean, I hated
00:25:05.000 Some of their behavior
00:25:06.000 I hated being threatened
00:25:07.000 You know, I hated
00:25:12.000 I hated sometimes
00:25:13.000 How mean some of these kids were
00:25:15.000 You know, and there were
00:25:16.000 White kids that were too 0.91
00:25:17.000 I'm not saying that it was just
00:25:18.000 One way
00:25:20.000 But
00:25:22.000 But some of these kids
00:25:23.000 You know, there were some black kids
00:25:24.000 That were so
00:25:26.000 Just
00:25:28.000 Angry
00:25:30.000 You know, and so mean
00:25:32.000 But I was still hopeful
00:25:34.000 Even if I didn't
00:25:36.000 Like them
00:25:37.000 I still try to be
00:25:39.000 You know, I think
00:25:40.000 Understanding
00:25:42.000 Where I could
00:25:43.000 And hopeful
00:25:45.000 That
00:25:46.000 That things would get better
00:25:48.000 And
00:25:49.000 And I'm not comparing that
00:25:50.000 To what's going on now
00:25:51.000 I'm just trying to find a correlation
00:25:52.000 In my life
00:25:54.000 Where
00:25:55.000 Even if I don't like
00:25:57.000 Something
00:26:00.000 For me to then not want that
00:26:02.000 You know
00:26:05.000 Or like a person
00:26:06.000 Or a group
00:26:07.000 For me to not want them to succeed
00:26:09.000 Just to prove my point
00:26:11.000 Or to prove
00:26:12.000 Or to justify my angst
00:26:13.000 Or my anger
00:26:15.000 That that is
00:26:17.000 Something is wrong with me then
00:26:19.000 That that is
00:26:20.000 Because that's
00:26:21.000 That's selfish
00:26:23.000 You know, that's selfish
00:26:25.000 And it doesn't take away
00:26:27.000 Maybe some of you know
00:26:28.000 The anger that I have
00:26:29.000 Towards some of the kids
00:26:30.000 That were, you know
00:26:31.000 Violent towards me when I was young
00:26:32.000 Or that beat me up
00:26:33.000 Or that made me feel less than
00:26:35.000 Or threaten me
00:26:37.000 Or
00:26:39.000 You know, did some things that were vile
00:26:41.000 That I had to be around
00:26:43.000 But
00:26:45.000 It does
00:26:48.000 You know, but those are instances
00:26:49.000 That I would then take up with
00:26:51.000 You know, with those
00:26:53.000 With those, I guess with those
00:26:54.000 Specific people
00:26:57.000 You know
00:27:01.000 But
00:27:03.000 It's
00:27:04.000 I don't know man
00:27:05.000 I just
00:27:06.000 My brain is just getting a little bit lost
00:27:08.000 But sometimes
00:27:09.000 Yeah, I just don't like
00:27:10.000 Some of the energy that's out there
00:27:12.000 Where it's not about
00:27:14.000 Getting better as a group
00:27:16.000 And there's not even a look
00:27:17.000 Towards that horizon
00:27:18.000 There's just a
00:27:21.000 I want to see some failure
00:27:23.000 So that I can be right
00:27:26.000 Because we just
00:27:28.000 It's not
00:27:30.000 For the betterment of everyone then
00:27:32.000 We're not going to
00:27:34.000 You can't
00:27:36.000 We can't get better like that
00:27:37.000 As a group, I don't think
00:27:39.000 You know
00:27:40.000 And I could be wrong
00:27:41.000 And I'm not
00:27:43.000 I'm not trying to offend anybody
00:27:44.000 I'm just trying to
00:27:45.000 Think
00:27:47.000 And be alive at the same time
00:27:49.000 And trying to feel
00:27:50.000 And talk at the same time
00:27:52.000 Which most of my life
00:27:53.000 Has been really tough
00:27:55.000 For me to do
00:27:59.000 Just because sometimes
00:28:01.000 Over the years
00:28:02.000 I don't even know how
00:28:03.000 How I was feeling
00:28:05.000 You know, and I think I was also
00:28:06.000 Just been afraid sometimes
00:28:08.000 To talk
00:28:10.000 You know, I always
00:28:11.000 Did humor
00:28:12.000 Or told jokes
00:28:13.000 Stuff like that
00:28:14.000 And that sort of behavior
00:28:15.000 Because
00:28:16.000 It was the only language
00:28:17.000 That I really
00:28:20.000 I don't know
00:28:21.000 It's the only language
00:28:22.000 Really that I knew
00:28:24.000 You know, and sometimes
00:28:25.000 I get scared I think
00:28:26.000 And that's where I think
00:28:27.000 A lot of my fear came in
00:28:29.000 On the last episode
00:28:30.000 And it probably will again
00:28:32.000 Where I just get scared
00:28:35.000 I just get scared
00:28:37.000 You know
00:28:39.000 Being brave enough
00:28:40.000 To say what is okay for me
00:28:41.000 And what my life is
00:28:44.000 And what's going on with me
00:28:46.000 And being brave enough
00:28:47.000 To tell my story
00:28:50.000 You know, and nothing
00:28:51.000 Honestly, dude, nothing
00:28:52.000 Has made me feel
00:28:53.000 Like I moved out here
00:28:54.000 To Los Angeles to be
00:28:56.000 More free
00:28:58.000 You know
00:29:00.000 I mean, I love Louisiana
00:29:01.000 I love my home state
00:29:02.000 I love
00:29:03.000 I love
00:29:06.000 You know, that small town vibe
00:29:08.000 I love a sense of community
00:29:10.000 That
00:29:11.000 A sense of community
00:29:12.000 Saved me
00:29:14.000 From
00:29:17.000 From
00:29:19.000 Who knows what
00:29:21.000 Saved me from
00:29:22.000 A lot of stuff
00:29:23.000 There's a lot of people
00:29:24.000 That lended their
00:29:25.000 Heart
00:29:26.000 And their
00:29:27.000 You know, their concern
00:29:28.000 And their home even
00:29:29.000 Make me feel okay
00:29:32.000 But
00:29:33.000 I get out here
00:29:34.000 To Los Angeles
00:29:35.000 And I
00:29:36.000 Sometimes I can't even tell
00:29:37.000 I feel like my story
00:29:38.000 Doesn't even exist
00:29:39.000 You know, because suddenly
00:29:40.000 There's this
00:29:41.000 There's just this
00:29:42.000 You know, ghost in the air
00:29:43.000 This
00:29:44.000 There's this
00:29:46.000 There's this
00:29:47.000 Where people want to
00:29:48.000 They don't want to look at the big picture
00:29:51.000 They want to be right
00:29:53.000 And some guy out here
00:29:54.000 Who
00:29:56.000 You know, who
00:29:58.000 You know, some
00:30:00.000 You know, white kid 0.86
00:30:01.000 Who is, you know
00:30:02.000 Is trying not to be racist
00:30:04.000 And trying not to be 1.00
00:30:06.000 A fucking 0.99
00:30:08.000 You know 1.00
00:30:10.000 You know, trying not to be a pervert
00:30:12.000 For sure
00:30:13.000 I'm always trying that
00:30:14.000 I mean, everybody knows
00:30:15.000 Jerk off locally
00:30:16.000 Or even when I'm out of town
00:30:18.000 But
00:30:19.000 You know, it's like
00:30:21.000 Just because I don't sound and look
00:30:22.000 Just like everybody
00:30:23.000 Who's just on this
00:30:25.000 You know, this cookie cutter plate
00:30:27.000 That
00:30:28.000 I'm not accepted
00:30:29.000 You know, or that
00:30:31.000 You know, immediately people
00:30:32.000 Just look and judge
00:30:34.000 Even though Hollywood's always about
00:30:35.000 Like, oh, oh
00:30:36.000 Love, love, you know
00:30:37.000 Love, acceptance
00:30:39.000 Yeah, well try walking into a
00:30:41.000 Try walking into a conversation out here
00:30:43.000 With a
00:30:45.000 With a gender neutral haircut
00:30:47.000 And a southern accent
00:30:48.000 And see how much people
00:30:49.000 Are just like, oh
00:30:51.000 Immediately don't say
00:30:52.000 This guy's this way
00:30:53.000 Or this guy's that way
00:30:55.000 You know, I've never felt
00:30:56.000 I've never honestly felt more oppressed
00:30:57.000 In my life
00:30:59.000 And I grew up in apparently
00:31:00.000 One of the most
00:31:01.000 You know, racist environments
00:31:03.000 Of the world
00:31:05.000 You know, but
00:31:06.000 The oppression I felt
00:31:08.000 Heaviest in my life
00:31:11.000 Here in Los Angeles
00:31:13.000 You know, they just try to beat a
00:31:15.000 You know, you just
00:31:17.000 Just frustrating
00:31:18.000 Anyway, I don't want to take us down that path
00:31:19.000 Man, this isn't about me
00:31:22.000 But they had the State of the Union address
00:31:24.000 People watch that
00:31:26.000 There's been a lot of talk recently
00:31:28.000 You know, a lot of people
00:31:29.000 Are asking me on social media
00:31:31.000 About Tom Segura
00:31:33.000 And he is a fellow comedian
00:31:36.000 And he's a very unique man
00:31:39.000 And he has a great podcast
00:31:41.000 Called Your Mom's House 0.60
00:31:43.000 And he made fun of Louisiana
00:31:47.000 He was making fun of Louisiana
00:31:48.000 In one of his comedic sets
00:31:49.000 And he was talking about Louisiana
00:31:53.000 And build a wall around it
00:31:55.000 And he talked about 0.88
00:31:57.000 He used the word retarded
00:31:59.000 And there's just been an uproar about it
00:32:01.000 And a lot of people asking me how I feel
00:32:03.000 And you know what's funny is
00:32:05.000 Before I even knew that this was on
00:32:08.000 On television where people could watch it
00:32:10.000 Or on Netflix where people could watch it
00:32:12.000 I heard Tom do that bit
00:32:15.000 I heard Tom do that set
00:32:16.000 At the Comedy Store
00:32:19.000 A couple of months ago
00:32:20.000 And I'm sitting in the back
00:32:22.000 And dude, my first feeling was
00:32:24.000 That I was offended 0.99
00:32:26.000 I'm like, man, what the fuck, dude? 1.00
00:32:29.000 You gonna make fun of Louisiana? 1.00
00:32:31.000 You know, why don't you make fun of one of these
00:32:34.000 You know, one of these show-offs
00:32:36.000 One of these know-it-all places
00:32:38.000 You know, why don't you make fun of a Los Angeles
00:32:40.000 Or a New York
00:32:42.000 Or a California or New York
00:32:43.000 Make fun of a know-it-all kind of place
00:32:46.000 I'm like, you're picking the lowest hanging fruit there, Tom
00:32:50.000 Tomcat
00:32:52.000 And then I'm watching
00:32:54.000 And I'm like, you know
00:32:56.000 And then I realized
00:32:58.000 I have a part in my Netflix special
00:33:00.000 There's a bit where I make fun of Mississippi 0.99
00:33:02.000 Which is an even easier place to make fun of
00:33:06.000 So that's when I realized
00:33:08.000 You know what?
00:33:09.000 Like, this is just jokes
00:33:10.000 Even though it might first hit me a little bit
00:33:14.000 Uncomfortable, because that's my home state
00:33:16.000 You know, that these are just jokes
00:33:18.000 I mean, I could go
00:33:20.000 You know, I could raise rebuttal up forever
00:33:22.000 Louisiana Purchase
00:33:24.000 One of the greatest deals ever in the universe
00:33:27.000 We did that
00:33:29.000 You're welcome
00:33:31.000 Okay, bought most of America
00:33:33.000 For 10 cents an acre
00:33:35.000 Boomtown
00:33:36.000 You know, I could say that
00:33:38.000 You know, I could say that
00:33:40.000 You know, one of the pseudo-birthplaces of jazz
00:33:43.000 You know, I could say
00:33:46.000 That we've had, you know, a lot of amazing people
00:33:49.000 Come out of Louisiana 0.99
00:33:51.000 You know, I could say, you know, some of the greatest recipes
00:33:54.000 Dude, come on
00:33:56.000 They got some trout
00:33:57.000 Some trout down there
00:33:58.000 That if you eat it
00:34:00.000 One of your deceased grandparents
00:34:02.000 Could probably get that taste in their mouth
00:34:05.000 Even in their skeleton, wherever they're laying
00:34:07.000 They could get that taste in their mouth
00:34:09.000 And so that's when I realized
00:34:11.000 You know what?
00:34:12.000 Sure, I could rebuttal
00:34:13.000 But the thing is, is that
00:34:14.000 It's jokes
00:34:16.000 And that's Tom's take on it
00:34:18.000 And he said, build a wall around Louisiana
00:34:21.000 And so that's his take
00:34:23.000 And that's it
00:34:24.000 You know, I gotta realize
00:34:25.000 Some things are just jokes
00:34:27.000 Especially because if I start to question
00:34:29.000 You know, what
00:34:31.000 You know, I can say if it's
00:34:32.000 If I think it's funny or not
00:34:34.000 But if I start to question
00:34:35.000 What he should be able to joke about
00:34:37.000 It's like, come on
00:34:39.000 And especially in the South
00:34:40.000 We should be able to take a joke
00:34:42.000 You know, there's a lot of places that cannot take jokes
00:34:44.000 But I don't think that the South is one of them
00:34:46.000 And you know, and Tom has to go down there and perform
00:34:50.000 And I'm not gonna, people are asking
00:34:51.000 If I'm gonna be a security guard down there
00:34:52.000 If I'm gonna be down there opening up
00:34:54.000 Not that I know of
00:34:56.000 You know, but good
00:34:58.000 And I wish Tom the best down there
00:35:00.000 I wish him the best
00:35:02.000 You know, a lot of famous people have been killed
00:35:04.000 Even if, you know, if somebody shoots them up
00:35:05.000 A lot of famous people have been killed in Louisiana
00:35:08.000 A lot, man
00:35:10.000 Huey P. Long
00:35:12.000 Pistol Pete Maravich
00:35:14.000 Steven Seagal
00:35:16.000 Jim Croce
00:35:18.000 Larry Sweeney
00:35:20.000 There you go
00:35:24.000 So, you know, it's anybody's ball game down there Tomcat
00:35:29.000 Good luck
00:35:31.000 You know, good luck
00:35:33.000 But I'm not, I can't be offended
00:35:35.000 So I have to, I have to, I think we're almost getting
00:35:37.000 In living out in Los Angeles
00:35:39.000 And even just being in this world today
00:35:41.000 It's that offensive, it's becoming that culture
00:35:43.000 It even infects me
00:35:45.000 Because I wouldn't usually get offended
00:35:46.000 But my first thought was to be offended
00:35:49.000 And I think my, my reasoning was I just feel like
00:35:53.000 That, that the South and that the Midwest
00:35:56.000 These places have been picked on enough
00:35:58.000 You know, but then when I look at my own work
00:36:03.000 Even though I'm from one of these places
00:36:05.000 Here I am picking on it
00:36:06.000 So, it just, you know, at that point
00:36:11.000 I just got to realize that Tom's just telling jokes
00:36:13.000 And then it made me think
00:36:15.000 Well, maybe I should find a, you know, a braver place to make fun of
00:36:18.000 I mean, at least you picked Louisiana
00:36:20.000 I picked Mississippi 0.95
00:36:22.000 Which is even, you know, which is a, which
00:36:25.000 You know, usually it's like you go down
00:36:27.000 Like every state makes fun of another state
00:36:28.000 Like, oh yeah
00:36:30.000 You know, North Carolina's like 0.98
00:36:32.000 Oh, well you think we're shitty? 0.98
00:36:33.000 What about South Carolina? 0.98
00:36:34.000 And South Carolina's like 0.99
00:36:35.000 Oh, well you think we're shitty? 0.98
00:36:36.000 What about Kentucky? 0.97
00:36:37.000 And Kentucky's like 0.98
00:36:38.000 Oh, well you think we're shitty? 0.97
00:36:39.000 What about Alabama? 0.99
00:36:40.000 And it keeps going
00:36:41.000 But then you get to Mississippi
00:36:42.000 And Mississippi's like 1.00
00:36:43.000 Oh, you think we're shitty? 0.98
00:36:44.000 Well 0.99
00:36:47.000 And they don't know
00:36:49.000 Because there's no other states left
00:36:51.000 But then also you go to Mississippi, man
00:36:53.000 And you find some people that are
00:36:55.000 You got a lot more
00:36:56.000 The way you go to some of these
00:36:57.000 These, you know
00:37:00.000 You go to some of these Southern and Midwestern states
00:37:02.000 Man, you have so much more good-heartedness
00:37:05.000 You have so much more people actually living their lives
00:37:08.000 And getting to know each other
00:37:10.000 You know
00:37:12.000 I mean, Los Angeles, we sit in traffic
00:37:14.000 Everybody acts like it's so diverse out here
00:37:17.000 Like, yeah, there's a lot of different types of people
00:37:20.000 But it's not like they interact all the time
00:37:23.000 Everybody's, for the most part, seems to be in traffic
00:37:26.000 Driving to their own little insular universe
00:37:30.000 Like, there's a lot of ins
00:37:32.000 Like, you know, there's little neighborhoods
00:37:33.000 Where everybody's kind of very similar
00:37:37.000 You know, it's just like
00:37:38.000 Then we go into our homes and talk about how
00:37:41.000 And people talk about how
00:37:44.000 Diverse and how loving they are
00:37:46.000 But I've known my neighbors way less
00:37:52.000 When I've lived in Los Angeles
00:37:55.000 Than I have any other place that I've lived
00:37:58.000 In America
00:37:59.000 And that's true
00:38:00.000 I've known my neighbors more in other places
00:38:03.000 Including New York City
00:38:05.000 South Carolina
00:38:07.000 New Orleans
00:38:08.000 Arizona
00:38:11.000 I knew my neighbors
00:38:13.000 More in those places than I have
00:38:15.000 Living here the entire
00:38:17.000 And I've been here for probably about 13 or 14 years
00:38:20.000 Now, I'm not saying there's not great things about California
00:38:23.000 You know, I'm not saying there's not great things about Los Angeles
00:38:26.000 But as a place where there's a strong sense of community
00:38:30.000 Anybody who tells you that there is
00:38:33.000 I think is not realistic
00:38:35.000 I think that that's
00:38:37.000 There's very
00:38:39.000 There's not
00:38:40.000 It's very me
00:38:41.000 Everything is very me out here
00:38:43.000 And I don't even know why sometimes
00:38:44.000 I don't even know why I feel that way
00:38:46.000 Or why it is that way
00:38:48.000 You know, I actually met a man on the street earlier
00:38:49.000 And
00:38:51.000 This was like the first time I said
00:38:54.000 I said, hey man
00:38:55.000 You know, I live right down the street
00:38:57.000 At this address
00:38:58.000 And if you ever need anything
00:39:00.000 You know, if you and your wife ever need anything
00:39:03.000 Or whatever
00:39:05.000 You know, I'm down the street
00:39:07.000 And I just realized
00:39:08.000 This was just tonight when I went on this run 0.99
00:39:10.000 I was like, man, I've never even said that shit to anybody before 0.99
00:39:13.000 So I don't know 0.99
00:39:15.000 I mean, the only time I knew
00:39:17.000 I had a neighbor
00:39:18.000 At one of my old places
00:39:20.000 And he
00:39:22.000 And he
00:39:24.000 He had
00:39:25.000 Husbands or men
00:39:27.000 He, you know, preferred the pleasure of men 0.78
00:39:29.000 And they used to get up there
00:39:30.000 And sometimes, dude
00:39:31.000 I'd be laying in bed at night
00:39:32.000 Listening to these men make love
00:39:33.000 Kind of in the distance
00:39:35.000 And 0.98
00:39:39.000 And damn, sometimes it was 0.99
00:39:41.000 You know, it didn't make me erect or anything like that 0.99
00:39:44.000 But it was
00:39:45.000 It was probably the most I ever even knew my neighbors
00:39:48.000 Really, in a weird way
00:39:51.000 You know, it was probably the closest that I got to knowing any of my neighbors
00:39:55.000 Was sometimes listening to this man
00:39:57.000 Who used to make soap
00:39:58.000 He also made soap
00:39:59.000 He was a soap 0.96
00:40:01.000 Soapsman
00:40:02.000 Or a sudsman
00:40:03.000 I don't even know
00:40:04.000 I could look it up on my internet
00:40:05.000 It's having trouble
00:40:07.000 I would, you know, and I would listen to him
00:40:09.000 And he had a couple of different partners, I think 1.00
00:40:11.000 But that's his shit, dude 1.00
00:40:12.000 That's his life 1.00
00:40:14.000 You know, and it was
00:40:15.000 But that's weird
00:40:16.000 That that was kind of the closest thing I felt
00:40:17.000 To neighborly association
00:40:19.000 Was listening to
00:40:21.000 A couple of fellas moving furniture
00:40:23.000 If you will
00:40:25.000 You know
00:40:27.000 A couple of
00:40:28.000 A couple of lunch hunters
00:40:30.000 You know, people hunting
00:40:32.000 Just getting into the dark arts out there
00:40:33.000 Alright, let's get into a little more stuff here
00:40:35.000 Let's get into a follow-up from some of the stuff that happened last week
00:40:39.000 You guys hit some calls and I really appreciate it
00:40:42.000 I'm not going to let you know a bunch of dates
00:40:44.000 But I will let you know if you look on YouTube
00:40:47.000 A, I'll ask you to subscribe, please
00:40:50.000 And B, I'll let you know I got this Onward t-shirt
00:40:53.000 And they got these Onward shirts now at theovon.com
00:40:56.000 Slash store
00:40:58.000 S-T-O-R-E 1.00
00:40:59.000 Where you can support the podcast
00:41:00.000 And that is what is going on
00:41:03.000 I'll let you know in
00:41:04.000 I'll be in Portland next weekend at Harvey's
00:41:07.000 And we're going to go meet up with the hamster rancher
00:41:11.000 So they had a man that called in a while back
00:41:13.000 And he ranches hams
00:41:15.000 And this gentleman
00:41:16.000 We had a conversation with him the other night
00:41:19.000 On the phone, on the telephone
00:41:21.000 And he's still out there working with him
00:41:22.000 And he was feeding a couple of them
00:41:24.000 You know, by bottle, not breast
00:41:26.000 And that's, you know
00:41:27.000 And that's the way to do it
00:41:30.000 I guess if you're feeding a big group
00:41:31.000 And especially if you're not related to them
00:41:33.000 If you're a man
00:41:34.000 But he was doing that
00:41:35.000 And he was being out there
00:41:36.000 And being regular with these animals
00:41:38.000 And so we're going to go meet up with him
00:41:40.000 And get out and see a lot of these beautiful hamsters
00:41:43.000 And so I'm very excited about that
00:41:45.000 So I'm looking forward to that next week
00:41:47.000 But we had some calls that came in from you guys
00:41:50.000 In response to some stuff that was going on last week
00:41:52.000 And I want to get into some of that right now
00:41:55.000 And these are going to be brought to you by
00:41:59.000 Grey Block Pizza
00:42:01.000 And Grey Block Pizza
00:42:02.000 That's over there at 1811 Pico Boulevard
00:42:05.000 In Los Angeles
00:42:06.000 And I'm going to read you one of the
00:42:08.000 Different type of pizza they have right now
00:42:10.000 And this pizza called the Neve Bianco
00:42:13.000 The Neve Bianco
00:42:15.000 And that's red onion
00:42:17.000 Fresh sliced tomato
00:42:19.000 Mazzarella
00:42:21.000 Ricata cheese
00:42:22.000 With garlic basil
00:42:23.000 On a garlic pesto sauce
00:42:25.000 And that's that Neve Bianco 0.98
00:42:27.000 1811 Pico Boulevard
00:42:29.000 Los Angeles
00:42:31.000 Go to Grey Block
00:42:33.000 Get that hit up
00:42:35.000 And we're so grateful to them
00:42:37.000 And happy to just the support that they've given
00:42:40.000 Also grateful to you guys over at the Patreon
00:42:43.000 And links to Grey Block and Patreon
00:42:46.000 Are going to be in the comments
00:42:48.000 You can grab those and check them out and see what they're doing
00:42:50.000 We had a guy call in last week
00:42:53.000 And his wife had been drinking 0.87
00:42:55.000 And she'd been getting that liquor 0.95
00:42:57.000 You know and when a woman gets a liquor in her 1.00
00:43:00.000 And look I'm a feminist as they come 1.00
00:43:03.000 You know you want to see a lady out there doing something wild 1.00
00:43:06.000 Let's see it
00:43:08.000 You want to see a lady 0.98
00:43:10.000 I mean look I think ladies were doing just fine 0.99
00:43:12.000 They got the Statue of Liberty
00:43:13.000 What else dude
00:43:17.000 They got
00:43:19.000 Okay so maybe we do need a little bit more
00:43:21.000 You know we might need
00:43:22.000 You know if you want to put a couple ladies in the NFL 1.00
00:43:24.000 Then do it
00:43:25.000 But I don't see that as equality
00:43:27.000 I just see that as forcing women into the NFL 1.00
00:43:30.000 You know but
00:43:32.000 But they had you know a lady that called 1.00
00:43:35.000 A man called in and said his wife was out there drinking
00:43:37.000 Doing liquor and having liquor inside of her
00:43:39.000 She just started drinking 0.71
00:43:41.000 And she had recently hooked up with his brother's wife
00:43:44.000 It was this gentleman that called
00:43:45.000 I just got a little problem going on
00:43:47.000 My wife recently started drinking
00:43:50.000 Like a couple weeks ago
00:43:52.000 Her first real night of getting hammered drunk
00:43:54.000 She wasn't with me
00:43:56.000 She was with her cousin
00:43:57.000 And she ended up texting the boy
00:43:59.000 That she used to hook up with
00:44:02.000 Yeah and that's the caller
00:44:03.000 And that's the caller
00:44:04.000 And then he goes on to say that the
00:44:06.000 That his wife hooked up with his
00:44:08.000 Sister-in-law
00:44:10.000 And look I mean I've seen some things on the internet
00:44:14.000 You know and I've been out there on some of them 0.98
00:44:16.000 You know crazy websites where you hear them blowjobs going on 0.99
00:44:20.000 And some of them sites have good blowjobs on them 1.00
00:44:23.000 You know sound like somebody washing a car 0.99
00:44:26.000 You know or putting a sponge in a bucket 0.99
00:44:28.000 One of them real hardy blowjobs you know 0.98
00:44:30.000 You know seem like somebody been you know working their neck out 0.98
00:44:34.000 Before they even show up to 0.99
00:44:36.000 To you know do some work on that cock 1.00
00:44:39.000 But this 0.99
00:44:41.000 But this guy have family
00:44:43.000 This family getting involved now
00:44:45.000 And he said that that was going on
00:44:48.000 His wife out there
00:44:50.000 You know being wild and being sentimental
00:44:52.000 And they'd been at his brother's house
00:44:54.000 And the wife had snuck out 1.00
00:44:56.000 And made you know woman love
00:44:58.000 Which I still don't know how they do it really
00:45:01.000 Because I've even drawn some pictures
00:45:03.000 And it doesn't you know some parts of it don't add up
00:45:06.000 And I made some beautiful woman love though
00:45:08.000 But I do enjoy watching it
00:45:10.000 But I'm trying not to right now
00:45:13.000 But I had made some woman love 1.00
00:45:16.000 And so here's some of you guys' responses
00:45:18.000 Let's get into it
00:45:19.000 This is Ryan from PA
00:45:20.000 I'm just calling in response to the guy who
00:45:23.000 His wife was doing some finagling with his sister-in-law
00:45:29.000 And I have a similar experience
00:45:31.000 My ex, she hooked up with a local lesbian once 0.90
00:45:36.000 Behind my back
00:45:38.000 Quite frankly that enraged me
00:45:40.000 Because not only it just seemed like a breach of trust
00:45:44.000 And I'm not really into lesbians and stuff like that 1.00
00:45:48.000 So it didn't really excite me
00:45:50.000 So I think it's normal to be, you know, upset by that
00:45:53.000 But basically you should just ask her
00:45:55.000 If it'd be okay if you did something with someone else
00:45:59.000 Even another guy
00:46:00.000 If that'd be alright with her
00:46:02.000 And if it's not, then obviously the scales are a little off
00:46:06.000 And that's probably unhealthy for your relationship
00:46:08.000 Wow, okay, and I appreciate that call, Ryan
00:46:12.000 Thank you for calling in
00:46:14.000 You know, there was a lot right there in Ryan's call
00:46:17.000 Because he's saying that this happened to him
00:46:19.000 And you could tell a little bit in his voice
00:46:21.000 That there was still a little, you know, probably still a little bit of resentment there
00:46:25.000 Towards his wife
00:46:26.000 And I'm guesstimating, Ryan
00:46:28.000 I could be wrong and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to judge you
00:46:31.000 I appreciate your call, man
00:46:33.000 You know, you're trying to help out this other gentleman
00:46:37.000 You know, and that's, you know, we're grateful for that 0.97
00:46:41.000 But, you know, yeah, your wife hooked up with a local lesbian 0.90
00:46:45.000 Now that's the thing
00:46:47.000 Some lesbian women will even seek out a small community 1.00
00:46:51.000 Where there are not a lot of lesbian women 1.00
00:46:54.000 You know, because then they become that maverick 0.97
00:46:58.000 You know, they become that sweet treat in the distance
00:47:01.000 Because they have, you know, they probably have a 0.79
00:47:04.000 You know, a lot of lesbians 1.00
00:47:06.000 They got that, you know, they have nice etiquette
00:47:09.000 Nice things going on
00:47:11.000 You know, they're active in the community
00:47:14.000 You know, and so then they're meeting women
00:47:16.000 And then if a woman has trouble with her man 0.99
00:47:18.000 Next thing you know, who can she go talk to 1.00
00:47:20.000 Who's always available? 0.97
00:47:22.000 That lesbian 1.00
00:47:24.000 That local lesbian 0.98
00:47:26.000 And so next thing you know, you're over by that local lesbians house 1.00
00:47:29.000 And that's a beautiful little trap they got going on 0.96
00:47:31.000 Now, man, as a man, I'm envious of lesbians 1.00
00:47:35.000 You know, because they get 0.89
00:47:37.000 They, uh, they can
00:47:39.000 They can set up the same old little trap to meet ladies 1.00
00:47:42.000 That we used to set up
00:47:44.000 But our trap's been figured out
00:47:46.000 You know, I can't just talk to a guy's wife 1.00
00:47:49.000 And have it seem like I'm not up to no good
00:47:51.000 Or a man can't do that 0.86
00:47:55.000 But a local lesbian can do that 1.00
00:47:57.000 You know, they can be like
00:47:58.000 Oh, come over, you know, let's do some
00:48:00.000 You know, you know, I got this new full body crossword
00:48:04.000 Or, you know, or I got, um
00:48:07.000 You know, I got, uh
00:48:09.000 You know, I got this, you know, new juggling kit
00:48:13.000 Let's learn how to juggle her
00:48:14.000 Let's do something
00:48:16.000 Let's bake, you know
00:48:17.000 You know, let's bake these, uh
00:48:20.000 You know, I'm with her cookies
00:48:22.000 And next thing you know, they're falling in love
00:48:24.000 These two women 0.85
00:48:26.000 And so, obviously, you know, Ryan said that
00:48:29.000 That his wife, you know, had made out with a local lesbian
00:48:32.000 And that, that, even though it was a woman 0.99
00:48:35.000 That that challenged his comfort
00:48:38.000 And, uh, he thinks that that compromised his
00:48:41.000 Um, his confidence in the relationship
00:48:44.000 In his relationship
00:48:45.000 And so, he is recommending to you
00:48:48.000 That you ask her if you can do the same thing
00:48:51.000 But now, here's the problem
00:48:53.000 If a man goes and does the same thing
00:48:56.000 Then the man is out there
00:48:58.000 And he's involved with other men
00:49:00.000 And, that's fine
00:49:03.000 But it's, for some reason
00:49:05.000 There's still this, this thing where it's not as
00:49:07.000 What is that?
00:49:09.000 Excuse me, what is that thing?
00:49:11.000 Because, yeah, if a woman goes out and about 1.00
00:49:12.000 And is a, you know, a lick 0.95
00:49:15.000 I don't know if they call that a lipstick lesbian 1.00
00:49:17.000 But if a woman, if your wife goes out and about 0.99
00:49:18.000 And makes out with another woman
00:49:20.000 It doesn't seem as taboo
00:49:22.000 As if your husband goes out and just makes out with another man
00:49:25.000 You know, is it because that, you know, that trying
00:49:31.000 Or, a woman being a lesbian is more
00:49:33.000 Is it because, is it looked at easier?
00:49:40.000 Is it just different?
00:49:42.000 Is it because the sexual act
00:49:44.000 If a man goes out with a, if your husband 0.70
00:49:47.000 If a woman's husband were to go out and be with another man 0.99
00:49:50.000 That that sexual act is more
00:49:52.000 It's more aggressive
00:49:55.000 Is that what makes it seem more taboo?
00:49:59.000 Because Ryan here is telling
00:50:02.000 Is telling this man
00:50:03.000 Well, ask, ask your wife 0.86
00:50:05.000 If you can go be with another man 0.97
00:50:07.000 If you can go do the same thing
00:50:09.000 And if she says no
00:50:11.000 Then, then hold her accountable
00:50:14.000 Because what she's doing isn't fair 1.00
00:50:16.000 But I'm going to say, you know, Ryan
00:50:20.000 I think it's, you know, that's good advice
00:50:22.000 But then if he goes out and does that
00:50:24.000 He, you know, he has to go
00:50:25.000 What if she says yes?
00:50:26.000 Now he has to go be with another man
00:50:28.000 Just to get even with his wife 0.73
00:50:31.000 So now he's out there blowing dudes, you know
00:50:35.000 And just frisking out
00:50:37.000 And some dudes, you know, in, you know
00:50:39.000 In, in some fellas kitchen or whatever
00:50:42.000 Or by candlelight, you know, watching old episodes of Magnum P.I.
00:50:46.000 Or, you know, who knows, you know
00:50:49.000 And he doesn't even want to be
00:50:50.000 He's just trying to get even with his wife
00:50:52.000 That can be a little bit scary
00:50:53.000 So that's another option
00:50:55.000 You can get out there and philander with other men locally
00:50:58.000 In order to make things even with your wife 0.61
00:51:00.000 See how she feels
00:51:01.000 And maybe that's not a bad idea
00:51:03.000 You know, bring home a beautiful little 1.00
00:51:05.000 You know, a beautiful little Fauntleroy gentleman
00:51:08.000 You know, next time you and your wife
00:51:10.000 Are about to sit down to dinner
00:51:12.000 There's a little at the door
00:51:15.000 And who's that?
00:51:16.000 Oh, that's just my buddy Randall
00:51:17.000 Randall
00:51:20.000 Spelled R-A-N-D-L-E 1.00
00:51:23.000 And next thing you know, Randall comes in
00:51:26.000 You know, and he's being wild
00:51:29.000 And he's got a new necklace or something
00:51:31.000 And next thing you know, all of you guys are
00:51:33.000 You know, it's Taco Tuesday
00:51:35.000 But Randall's over there snacking on some taquitos
00:51:39.000 And trying to send your wife a message
00:51:41.000 Snacking on some thick taquitos
00:51:43.000 And trying to send your wife a message
00:51:46.000 Maybe that's how you do it
00:51:47.000 Maybe that's how you show her
00:51:49.000 You know, how it would feel
00:51:51.000 If the pages were turned
00:51:53.000 Let's take another call here
00:51:55.000 Here we go
00:51:57.000 What's this trip you got me on?
00:52:00.000 What's up, brother?
00:52:01.000 My name is Joe
00:52:03.000 I got some advice for this fella
00:52:05.000 That his wife is getting into the dark arts
00:52:07.000 Via the way of the alcohol
00:52:09.000 I guess this is the first time she started drinking
00:52:10.000 And she was straight laced before this happened
00:52:13.000 And then just took a few drinks of alcohol
00:52:15.000 Now this behavior has come about
00:52:17.000 I would suggest that she probably stop, man
00:52:20.000 Because that's a slippery slope, man
00:52:22.000 I can see her in six months down in Tijuana
00:52:24.000 Getting double dicked by two dudes 1.00
00:52:26.000 While snorting coke out of a hooker's ass or something 1.00
00:52:29.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:52:31.000 And that's singing Joe right there
00:52:33.000 And singing Joe, that's a deep
00:52:35.000 I mean that's a long...
00:52:36.000 So you're saying if she has a little bit of liquor 1.00
00:52:37.000 And next thing you know she's texting ex-boyfriends 0.97
00:52:41.000 That's the part that gets me even more
00:52:43.000 Is that she's texting a high school boyfriend
00:52:46.000 You know, you guys are married
00:52:48.000 She's texting a high school boyfriend
00:52:50.000 Dude, I did a comedy show one night
00:52:53.000 And a gal that I dated in high school came 1.00
00:52:55.000 And she was with her husband
00:52:57.000 And she got drunk
00:52:58.000 And when she was leaving, when they were leaving
00:53:00.000 She was like reaching for me
00:53:02.000 And I'm no catch
00:53:04.000 First of all, that was my first thought
00:53:07.000 But my second thought was
00:53:10.000 This is awkward
00:53:12.000 Because I felt awkward for the guy
00:53:14.000 And it was only because of the alcohol
00:53:16.000 So yeah, alcohol can have a wild effect
00:53:18.000 It can be a slippery slope
00:53:20.000 Yeah, it's like where does this end
00:53:22.000 At first she's texting her exes
00:53:23.000 And then next thing you know 0.99
00:53:25.000 She's gallivanting with local lesbians 1.00
00:53:29.000 Then what? 0.96
00:53:30.000 What's the next level?
00:53:32.000 You know, she's out there
00:53:34.000 She's, you know, doing
00:53:36.000 Buying kilos
00:53:38.000 Or she's drug muleing 1.00
00:53:40.000 For, you know, hardcore lesbians 1.00
00:53:42.000 You know, she's doing skateboarding 0.77
00:53:45.000 I don't know
00:53:46.000 Who knows, man?
00:53:48.000 A lot of possibilities
00:53:50.000 But yeah, I don't know if she could go that far
00:53:52.000 Where she can end up 1.00
00:53:53.000 Down in Tijuana
00:53:55.000 That seems a bit much, Joe
00:53:57.000 So I'm no cartographer
00:53:59.000 But I think that, you know, there's
00:54:01.000 Other more local things could occur
00:54:03.000 Before she ends up down there 0.93
00:54:05.000 Caught up like that
00:54:08.000 You know, you made it sound like
00:54:09.000 She's really, really caught up
00:54:10.000 And I must play one more time what you said
00:54:11.000 Slippery slope, man
00:54:12.000 I can see her in six months
00:54:14.000 Down in Tijuana 0.79
00:54:15.000 Getting double dicked by two dudes 1.00
00:54:17.000 While snorting coke out of a hooker's ass or something 1.00
00:54:20.000 Yeah, Joe, and that is really 1.00
00:54:22.000 I don't think that that's
00:54:23.000 That's not what I see
00:54:25.000 And I'm no crystal baller
00:54:26.000 But that's not what I see
00:54:27.000 Let's get another call
00:54:28.000 Here we go
00:54:29.000 Hey, Theo, this is Nathan in Anchorage, Alaska
00:54:32.000 Say, I'm calling about the gentleman
00:54:34.000 Whose wife has just started drinking
00:54:37.000 He said he was confused
00:54:39.000 If he's supposed to like, you know, girl-on-girl action
00:54:41.000 Most guys do
00:54:43.000 Well, first off, guys like girl-on-girl action
00:54:45.000 When they are involved
00:54:48.000 That's true
00:54:49.000 Because then all you're thinking about
00:54:50.000 Is being left out
00:54:51.000 It's like looking at pictures of your friends at the beach
00:54:54.000 You know, being at the beach is cool
00:54:55.000 Looking at pictures of your friends at the beach
00:54:57.000 Not as cool
00:54:59.000 But thanks for calling from Alaska, man
00:55:01.000 I like Alaskan
00:55:02.000 I like callers from Alaska
00:55:04.000 Because Alaskans have time to think
00:55:07.000 You know?
00:55:08.000 And Nathan from Alaska
00:55:09.000 He probably
00:55:11.000 I mean, you know
00:55:13.000 Sometimes it's nighttime up there
00:55:15.000 It's nighttime up there for like four months
00:55:18.000 That's crazy
00:55:20.000 If you don't think you have a boogeyman under your bed 0.98
00:55:22.000 You're dead
00:55:23.000 You have to 1.00
00:55:24.000 Four months, there's no way
00:55:26.000 That the dark arts don't really creep in
00:55:28.000 Creep up over the horizon
00:55:31.000 Nighttime
00:55:32.000 Four months
00:55:36.000 That's got the devil
00:55:38.000 Signature all over the bottom of it
00:55:40.000 Let's hear more, Nathan
00:55:41.000 If he's sitting on the sidelines
00:55:43.000 Watching his wife hook up with other chicks
00:55:45.000 Maybe it's not quite as fun
00:55:47.000 Sounds like her drinking has really escalated
00:55:49.000 She just started drinking 0.71
00:55:51.000 Maybe show her the ropes a little bit
00:55:53.000 But you know, you don't want to do 15 Jaeger bombs 1.00
00:55:56.000 In 15 minutes
00:55:58.000 Yeah, that could be it
00:56:00.000 You know, that's a way to do it
00:56:01.000 Is to try drinking together
00:56:03.000 I am concerned with why she just started drinking 0.75
00:56:07.000 You know, maybe she's just getting a little bit of her
00:56:09.000 Of her college out
00:56:11.000 You know, maybe did she miss that experience?
00:56:13.000 And that's what she's getting into
00:56:16.000 You know, and there's also
00:56:19.000 There's like some adult fun camps
00:56:20.000 That you guys could go to
00:56:21.000 I know it's like a crazy idea maybe
00:56:23.000 But there's like these summer camps
00:56:24.000 You can find online for adults
00:56:26.000 It's like three or four days
00:56:27.000 You fly in
00:56:28.000 And it's like a big party
00:56:29.000 Where everybody gets to have fun
00:56:30.000 There might be some swinging
00:56:32.000 You know, swingers going on
00:56:33.000 I'm not sure
00:56:35.000 But I've seen some photos
00:56:36.000 And some of the people on there
00:56:37.000 Look a little bit like they'd be in the swinging
00:56:38.000 But that could be it
00:56:41.000 You know, that's an option
00:56:43.000 You know, but if she's already 1.00
00:56:44.000 She's getting involved in, you know
00:56:45.000 If already she's reaching out
00:56:47.000 You know, like
00:56:48.000 I'm dating your brother's wife 1.00
00:56:50.000 It's just
00:56:52.000 It's that
00:56:53.000 What's next?
00:56:55.000 You know?
00:56:57.000 You know, she's snuggling
00:56:58.000 You know, she's sneaking into your grandmother's bed 1.00
00:57:00.000 Like what is next, man?
00:57:02.000 You know, she's doing
00:57:04.000 You know, hospice care for your grandmother
00:57:06.000 But taking things to another level
00:57:08.000 Like what's next?
00:57:10.000 So that's...
00:57:11.000 You might want to look into that
00:57:12.000 You might want to look into that
00:57:14.000 But yeah, I'd stay cognizant of what's going on
00:57:19.000 You know?
00:57:21.000 Cause that's pretty...
00:57:22.000 That's a lot
00:57:23.000 You got a lot going on right there
00:57:25.000 You know, but I would communicate with her
00:57:27.000 How you feel
00:57:28.000 So that if she
00:57:30.000 You know, if certain behaviors occur
00:57:33.000 Or continue to occur
00:57:35.000 And she knows how you feel
00:57:37.000 Then at least you're going to have
00:57:41.000 In the...
00:57:42.000 In the court of emotion
00:57:43.000 When you guys discuss stuff
00:57:45.000 You're going to...
00:57:47.000 Your case is going to have
00:57:49.000 Your...
00:57:50.000 A lot of your case will already have been presented along the way
00:57:53.000 You know, so trying to communicate
00:57:55.000 I think could be helpful there
00:57:57.000 But I don't know
00:57:59.000 Yeah, but she started, you know
00:58:01.000 That local lesbianism 0.67
00:58:02.000 Man, I remember they had a couple ladies in our town 1.00
00:58:05.000 Furniture movers
00:58:07.000 And these were some early lesbians 1.00
00:58:08.000 Back in the day
00:58:09.000 A lot of lesbians were in the furniture moving business 1.00
00:58:11.000 And antiques
00:58:13.000 Antiquing
00:58:15.000 And they moved it
00:58:16.000 I remember ordering a love seat off the internet
00:58:19.000 And they brought it and
00:58:21.000 They...
00:58:22.000 Or not the internet, off the phone
00:58:23.000 That's when you...
00:58:24.000 Called a number on the...
00:58:25.000 On the television
00:58:26.000 And they brought it over
00:58:27.000 And they ended up moving into our neighborhood
00:58:28.000 They brought some...
00:58:29.000 They bought some drugs and moved into our neighborhood
00:58:31.000 And they...
00:58:33.000 They made love to a couple people's mothers over about the next decade
00:58:36.000 Probably six to eight people's mothers
00:58:38.000 All right
00:58:39.000 But that's all the responses to the calls from last week
00:58:42.000 If you have a...
00:58:43.000 If you have a question
00:58:44.000 A concern
00:58:45.000 Something that's going on in your life
00:58:46.000 You can hit the hotline
00:58:47.000 985-664-9503
00:58:51.000 We're gonna get into just a couple more calls that came in
00:58:54.000 That were not related
00:58:56.000 To that...
00:58:58.000 To that...
00:59:00.000 To that wife... 0.99
00:59:01.000 Fiasco that's going on up there
00:59:03.000 Let's get into one of those right now
00:59:04.000 Here we go
00:59:05.000 Theo Vaughn
00:59:06.000 This is Kenneth
00:59:07.000 From Las Vegas, Nevada
00:59:09.000 What's up?
00:59:10.000 Kenneth calling in from Las Vegas
00:59:11.000 That's a sin city
00:59:13.000 And you sound young
00:59:14.000 And who knows how old you'll...
00:59:15.000 How old you'll actually be able to get
00:59:17.000 Growing up there in sin
00:59:18.000 Let's go more
00:59:20.000 I'm in the United States Air Force
00:59:22.000 Thank you for your service
00:59:24.000 I just wanted to know your thoughts
00:59:26.000 On...
00:59:28.000 Gambling
00:59:29.000 I'm down a couple hundred
00:59:31.000 Want to know...
00:59:33.000 Should I keep doing it?
00:59:34.000 Is it...
00:59:36.000 Something bad that I'm in?
00:59:38.000 But man...
00:59:39.000 Let me tell you...
00:59:41.000 I think I should...
00:59:42.000 I wanna hit the big money
00:59:44.000 I wanna hit it...
00:59:45.000 Not just for me, but for everybody
00:59:47.000 I wanna get your opinion on the dark arts of gambling
00:59:51.000 Well, first of all, Kenneth...
00:59:54.000 Thanks...
00:59:55.000 Second of all...
00:59:57.000 You...
00:59:58.000 You said should I...
00:59:59.000 You're down a couple hundred, should I?
01:00:00.000 And then I love the fact that you immediately think you should
01:00:03.000 That's obvious...
01:00:05.000 You're obviously at the casino right now
01:00:08.000 And have ducked off to the side to make the call
01:00:11.000 And...
01:00:12.000 Look man...
01:00:14.000 Gambling's fun...
01:00:16.000 Dude, gambling is fun...
01:00:17.000 I was at the casino playing craps one time in New Orleans
01:00:20.000 And I won, I think, probably about $1,100
01:00:22.000 And I bought bathing suits for everybody at the craps table
01:00:25.000 Everybody got a...
01:00:27.000 Everybody got a bathing suit
01:00:29.000 You know, and a buddy of mine...
01:00:31.000 Another time bought an iron
01:00:33.000 Bought a clothing iron for everybody
01:00:35.000 Everybody at the table got an iron
01:00:37.000 So there's a lot of good opportunities in casinos
01:00:39.000 But you said...
01:00:41.000 This is my favorite part of your call right here
01:00:42.000 Let's hear it
01:00:44.000 Something bad that I'm in?
01:00:46.000 But man...
01:00:48.000 Let me tell you...
01:00:49.000 I think I should...
01:00:51.000 I wanna hit the big money...
01:00:52.000 I wanna hit it...
01:00:53.000 Not just for me, but for everybody
01:00:55.000 Yeah, that's a cool excuse
01:00:57.000 I wanna hit the big money not just for me...
01:00:59.000 But for everybody
01:01:01.000 For who?
01:01:02.000 For America? 0.63
01:01:03.000 For who?
01:01:04.000 Who are you talking about?
01:01:05.000 Everybody?
01:01:06.000 Those people are probably asleep
01:01:07.000 It sounded like this was at the middle of the night
01:01:10.000 You know, gambling
01:01:11.000 Look, if you can have fun with it, that's fine
01:01:13.000 If you wake up tomorrow morning
01:01:14.000 And you have to go gamble again
01:01:15.000 It might be an issue
01:01:18.000 You know, I think you just have to look at your own track record
01:01:20.000 Only you know if you got a problem
01:01:22.000 But gambling...
01:01:24.000 Gambling can be risky, man
01:01:26.000 I'll tell you this...
01:01:27.000 I'll tell you this gambling story
01:01:29.000 I saw a dude one time at a party, right?
01:01:32.000 And...
01:01:34.000 And he bet this hot girl
01:01:37.000 He bet her
01:01:39.000 He said, if I let your friend
01:01:41.000 The hot chick's friend was a man 0.99
01:01:43.000 And he was a gay male 1.00
01:01:45.000 He said, if I let your friend give me a blowjob 1.00
01:01:48.000 Will you have sex with me? 1.00
01:01:51.000 And the girl said, yes 1.00
01:01:54.000 If you let my friend give you a blowjob 1.00
01:01:56.000 I'll have sex with you 1.00
01:01:58.000 So then the dude 1.00
01:02:00.000 Lets the gay guy give him a blowjob 1.00
01:02:02.000 Then the girl 1.00
01:02:04.000 Bails out of the fucking deal 1.00
01:02:06.000 So... 1.00
01:02:07.000 I mean, that's what you get for gambling, you know?
01:02:13.000 What are you gonna do?
01:02:15.000 You know?
01:02:16.000 You placed your bet
01:02:18.000 And...
01:02:20.000 I'm not gonna say you lost 0.99
01:02:21.000 I mean, you got a blowjob out of it 0.99
01:02:23.000 That's what the guy got 1.00
01:02:25.000 But...
01:02:26.000 Not from who he wanted
01:02:27.000 So it's just risky
01:02:28.000 Gambling's risky, man
01:02:29.000 So if you wanna gamble
01:02:30.000 You go on
01:02:31.000 But you be careful
01:02:32.000 That's all I'm saying
01:02:34.000 We got another call that came in here
01:02:35.000 And this is from Ben
01:02:37.000 He wants to know
01:02:39.000 It's about a stalker
01:02:40.000 Let's hear it
01:02:41.000 Yo, Theo
01:02:42.000 What's up, man?
01:02:43.000 My name is Ben
01:02:44.000 And I got a
01:02:45.000 Little bit of a situation here
01:02:47.000 This girl
01:02:48.000 I've been seeing her for a while now
01:02:49.000 And she's cool
01:02:50.000 We got this thing going on
01:02:51.000 We're...
01:02:52.000 We're doing our thing
01:02:53.000 It's not like...
01:02:54.000 Exclusive or nothing
01:02:55.000 But we get down and all that
01:02:56.000 Okay, gang gang, man
01:02:57.000 You got that
01:02:58.000 Let's hear more
01:02:59.000 We've been going on for probably eight months now
01:03:02.000 Something like that
01:03:03.000 That's pretty crispy, dude
01:03:04.000 Eight months, bruh
01:03:05.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:03:06.000 That's real stuff
01:03:07.000 Dude, in some places that's a marriage 0.99
01:03:09.000 If you guys die in a month
01:03:10.000 That's... 0.99
01:03:11.000 You know, that's...
01:03:13.000 Well, it didn't really pertain to it
01:03:14.000 But still, eight months is a long time
01:03:16.000 Let's hear more
01:03:17.000 And she recently told me
01:03:20.000 That she's got a little bit of a stalking situation 0.73
01:03:24.000 And not exactly a little bit
01:03:26.000 Because the dude is literally like
01:03:28.000 Outside her door every day
01:03:31.000 She wakes up and he is just there
01:03:34.000 Hmm...
01:03:36.000 He wakes...
01:03:37.000 She wakes up and he's just there?
01:03:38.000 And he's not a roommate, huh?
01:03:40.000 Let's hear more
01:03:41.000 It's kind of awkward
01:03:42.000 Because we all kind of go to the same school
01:03:44.000 And he's in one of her classes
01:03:47.000 And it's been going...
01:03:49.000 Apparently this has been going on for like
01:03:51.000 Nine months or so
01:03:53.000 And she said she tried to like
01:03:54.000 Twitch up her roots last year 0.97
01:03:56.000 And all that
01:03:57.000 And he still somehow found a way to find her
01:04:01.000 This is the first time I'm hearing about it
01:04:03.000 Hey, stalker's gonna stalk, you know?
01:04:05.000 I mean, if he...
01:04:06.000 He's obviously good at what he does
01:04:07.000 You have to respect that a little bit 1.00
01:04:10.000 You don't want one of these weak ass stalkers 1.00
01:04:12.000 That's kind of, you know... 1.00
01:04:13.000 Well, maybe you do want a weak ass stalker 0.99
01:04:17.000 Let's hear more about it 0.99
01:04:19.000 And I guess she thought she could handle it on her own
01:04:22.000 And then she finally came to me 0.92
01:04:24.000 You know, should I have fucked this dude up? 0.95
01:04:27.000 Or... 0.89
01:04:28.000 I don't really want to start a fight
01:04:29.000 Because I don't want to get in trouble with the school
01:04:31.000 Right, you don't want to get in trouble with the school
01:04:32.000 And I'm just...
01:04:33.000 I'm cutting that call there
01:04:34.000 But look, you got a stalker
01:04:36.000 A couple of things...
01:04:37.000 A couple of ways to go about it
01:04:39.000 You know, if you fight a stalker
01:04:41.000 I mean, it's just gonna... 0.99
01:04:43.000 You know, he's obviously a sick guy 0.97
01:04:45.000 There's something wrong there 0.99
01:04:46.000 So maybe even having a conversation with him
01:04:49.000 You know, maybe saying
01:04:51.000 Look, guy, what's going on?
01:04:53.000 You know, like...
01:04:55.000 I'm not angry at you
01:04:56.000 I don't think you're a bad person
01:04:58.000 But this is what's going on
01:05:00.000 This is how it plays to us
01:05:02.000 And it makes us feel uncomfortable
01:05:04.000 You know, like...
01:05:06.000 I'm trying to have a relationship with this girl 1.00
01:05:08.000 And you're trying to fucking... 0.99
01:05:10.000 You know, hang out in the garden 0.99
01:05:11.000 And looking through the windows
01:05:13.000 And it's not...
01:05:14.000 We're not working conducively together
01:05:17.000 So maybe just being real with him about it
01:05:19.000 You know, talking about it like that
01:05:21.000 Now, if he continues to escalate
01:05:23.000 Now, you said your girl might want to fight him 0.97
01:05:25.000 That's probably a better way to go
01:05:27.000 Than by you slipping in and fighting him
01:05:29.000 So at least that way, you know, it's her...
01:05:33.000 Because these days, you know
01:05:35.000 A woman can beat up a stalker 1.00
01:05:37.000 And that's nothing
01:05:39.000 I mean, that's like...
01:05:40.000 Nothing's gonna happen to anybody
01:05:41.000 You know, not to her
01:05:43.000 I mean, it's carte blanche on stalkers right now 0.99
01:05:45.000 Every stalker's getting their ass whipped by... 0.98
01:05:48.000 You know, a lot of women are kickboxing and everything 1.00
01:05:49.000 Just to beat up stalkers
01:05:51.000 So, if you even used to stalk
01:05:53.000 And don't anymore
01:05:54.000 And have moved on from it
01:05:55.000 And even started your own family
01:05:57.000 Women are gonna track you down 1.00
01:05:58.000 Probably and beat your ass now 1.00
01:05:59.000 Because they can 1.00
01:06:00.000 It's that time
01:06:01.000 Time's up for stalkers
01:06:03.000 So, I would, you know
01:06:05.000 I would talk to the guy
01:06:06.000 And then if it still escalates 0.96
01:06:08.000 I would have your chick fight him 1.00
01:06:11.000 That's what I would do
01:06:12.000 Appreciate you calling though
01:06:15.000 Let's...
01:06:16.000 Let's hit this call right here
01:06:17.000 Here we go
01:06:19.000 Hey, yo, Theo, man
01:06:20.000 This is Mickey
01:06:21.000 Calling from Seattle
01:06:23.000 So here's my situation, man
01:06:25.000 I'm 30 years old
01:06:27.000 Thanks for calling in, Mickey from Seattle
01:06:29.000 And I will actually be up in
01:06:31.000 In Seattle or Tacoma next...
01:06:34.000 In a couple of weeks
01:06:36.000 Next month, I think
01:06:37.000 Onward
01:06:38.000 And I'm currently at the end stage
01:06:41.000 Of a lung disease
01:06:43.000 Now, my current lungs
01:06:44.000 Don't have very long left
01:06:46.000 Probably about two and a half years
01:06:48.000 Hopefully, we can stretch them out
01:06:50.000 But...
01:06:51.000 The silver lining is that
01:06:53.000 I'm gonna be soon
01:06:55.000 On the lung transplant list
01:06:57.000 I'm hoping
01:06:58.000 I'm gonna get listed
01:06:59.000 Wow, man, congratulations on that
01:07:01.000 So you got two and a half...
01:07:03.000 You got two and a half...
01:07:04.000 You got two and a half years left
01:07:05.000 Tanks you got in you now
01:07:07.000 And then you gotta...
01:07:08.000 You're gonna get on the transplant list
01:07:09.000 That's beautiful
01:07:11.000 When I was young
01:07:12.000 My sister was born with like a rare disease 0.97
01:07:14.000 Called biliary atresia
01:07:16.000 And she got a liver transplant
01:07:17.000 When I was 14
01:07:19.000 But I remember being young
01:07:21.000 And we...
01:07:23.000 We spent a lot of time
01:07:24.000 Filling out these envelopes
01:07:25.000 And mailing them off to strangers
01:07:26.000 To get them...
01:07:28.000 To donate money
01:07:29.000 To get that liver
01:07:31.000 You know, cause you gotta get that liver 0.83
01:07:32.000 And I remember getting pissed even
01:07:34.000 Because I... 0.97
01:07:35.000 You know, there'd be shit 0.99
01:07:36.000 I didn't get shit for Christmas or whatever 0.99
01:07:38.000 And I'd be pissed 0.99
01:07:39.000 And my sister was gonna get a liver 1.00
01:07:40.000 And I wasn't getting... 0.99
01:07:41.000 You know, some fucking new BK nights 0.99
01:07:42.000 Or some... 1.00
01:07:43.000 You know, some type of bullshit 1.00
01:07:44.000 Or some socks or whatever 1.00
01:07:45.000 Onward
01:07:46.000 Which will give me a few more years
01:07:48.000 To figure this whole thing out
01:07:50.000 And it's been a really difficult time
01:07:53.000 And I've been single through it
01:07:55.000 My question to you, man, is
01:07:57.000 During this difficult time
01:07:58.000 That's really ruined my confidence
01:08:01.000 I wanted to ask you and the viewers
01:08:04.000 What they think...
01:08:06.000 What are some good steps that I can take
01:08:08.000 To start boosting my confidence
01:08:10.000 And my self-worth
01:08:12.000 To be able to start getting back out there
01:08:14.000 And start talking to girls again 0.99
01:08:17.000 Damn, boy 0.99
01:08:20.000 Freaking no-lung Mickey 1.00
01:08:21.000 Out there in the universe
01:08:24.000 You know, he got that last...
01:08:25.000 He got a, you know, a couple years left
01:08:26.000 On them lungs
01:08:27.000 And he's trying to...
01:08:29.000 Inhale a little bit of love
01:08:30.000 Into his life, it sounds like
01:08:33.000 Man, that's brave, you know
01:08:35.000 That's ballsy
01:08:36.000 You know, cause a lot of people
01:08:37.000 They got a couple years left
01:08:38.000 They could...
01:08:39.000 And it's obviously...
01:08:40.000 It sounds to me...
01:08:41.000 It's obvious you're looking for a little bit of love
01:08:42.000 A little bit of that aorta pump
01:08:45.000 You know...
01:08:46.000 You're trying to get that hitter up in your systole and diastole
01:08:49.000 Because... 0.99
01:08:51.000 If he's looking for sex 1.00
01:08:52.000 You can get sex 1.00
01:08:53.000 You go to backpage.com 1.00
01:08:55.000 You go to eros.net
01:08:57.000 You go to freesalmon.net 1.00
01:08:59.000 And get sex if you want it 0.99
01:09:01.000 But obviously you're looking for love 0.97
01:09:03.000 So that's it, you know what
01:09:05.000 Maybe we leave...
01:09:06.000 Look, guys, if you have advice for Tom
01:09:07.000 This dude's got two and a half years left on his lungs
01:09:09.000 And I'm guessing if you don't get new lungs
01:09:13.000 You know...
01:09:14.000 It's a breather's ball game out here in the universe
01:09:17.000 And I'm not trying to be cold to you
01:09:18.000 But you probably know it better than anybody
01:09:19.000 Tomcat
01:09:21.000 Or Mickey...
01:09:22.000 Sorry, I don't know why I called you Tomcat
01:09:24.000 Because I wasn't paying attention to my own thoughts
01:09:26.000 But Mickey, it's a...
01:09:28.000 You know...
01:09:29.000 It's a breather's game out here
01:09:30.000 And if you ain't breathing...
01:09:32.000 You out
01:09:34.000 And I hope that doesn't happen for you, man
01:09:35.000 But...
01:09:36.000 And what I would like to do is...
01:09:37.000 I would like to ask our callers if you have advice
01:09:39.000 Mickey's got a couple years left
01:09:41.000 You know...
01:09:42.000 He's got them terminal lungs
01:09:44.000 Dude's got...
01:09:45.000 You know...
01:09:46.000 He's coming in light in the lungs
01:09:48.000 And what do you suggest for him?
01:09:51.000 You know...
01:09:52.000 How do you meet a lady? 1.00
01:09:54.000 Some girls might think it's cool 1.00
01:09:56.000 You're not even going to be around for a long time
01:09:58.000 You know... 0.99
01:09:59.000 Damn, that's dark... 0.99
01:10:00.000 I'm sorry... 0.98
01:10:01.000 I guess I'm feeling kind of maybe a little bit dark
01:10:02.000 But...
01:10:03.000 That might be a good pickup strategy
01:10:04.000 You know...
01:10:05.000 Guess what?
01:10:07.000 You know...
01:10:08.000 You only got to date me for a couple years
01:10:10.000 You know...
01:10:11.000 Like...
01:10:12.000 Maybe lay down some money on your life insurance
01:10:14.000 And...
01:10:15.000 You know...
01:10:16.000 Hit a lady up that way 1.00
01:10:17.000 It's a dark take...
01:10:18.000 But I think these days...
01:10:20.000 If a woman has a sense of humor... 1.00
01:10:21.000 She's gonna... 0.99
01:10:22.000 She'll like that...
01:10:24.000 You know...
01:10:25.000 Cause women want that rescue... 1.00
01:10:26.000 And you got that rescue right now
01:10:27.000 You have that rescue...
01:10:28.000 That's all over you...
01:10:30.000 You know...
01:10:31.000 Women want that... 1.00
01:10:32.000 They want that man on that transplant list...
01:10:34.000 They want that man who's...
01:10:36.000 You know...
01:10:37.000 You know...
01:10:38.000 Maybe is...
01:10:39.000 You know...
01:10:40.000 On a...
01:10:41.000 You know...
01:10:42.000 Having a kidney issue...
01:10:43.000 Or something...
01:10:44.000 You know...
01:10:45.000 Has been in a...
01:10:46.000 You know...
01:10:47.000 A fire or something...
01:10:48.000 Women are intrigued by that... 1.00
01:10:49.000 They want that rescue...
01:10:50.000 It's in their blood...
01:10:51.000 To want to help...
01:10:52.000 So I think you're gonna have that going for you...
01:10:54.000 Um...
01:10:56.000 But how do you boost that confidence...
01:10:58.000 Yeah...
01:10:58.160 That's wild...
01:10:59.000 You know...
01:11:00.400 That's really...
01:11:01.000 Really wild...
01:11:02.000 Um...
01:11:03.000 But I think it probably comes back to...
01:11:05.000 How do we all boost our confidence...
01:11:07.000 And part of it is just...
01:11:10.000 You know...
01:11:11.000 I don't know if maybe some women have let you down... 1.00
01:11:13.000 Or made you feel...
01:11:14.000 Bad because of this issue...
01:11:15.000 But if they have...
01:11:16.000 Man...
01:11:16.500 You gotta get back on there...
01:11:18.000 And just keep trying...
01:11:20.000 You know...
01:11:21.000 It's just like last week...
01:11:23.100 When I didn't even know if I wanted to...
01:11:24.320 You know...
01:11:24.540 I couldn't do it...
01:11:25.320 But I just...
01:11:27.000 You know...
01:11:27.680 Came back this week...
01:11:29.580 You know...
01:11:30.740 I had to freaking strap my lungs back in...
01:11:33.820 Get back into the studio...
01:11:36.000 But I can say this...
01:11:37.540 Man...
01:11:37.660 I'm gonna be up in Seattle...
01:11:38.740 Up in your area...
01:11:39.460 In Tacoma...
01:11:40.240 Let me look and see when I am...
01:11:41.800 Maybe we can find you a date...
01:11:44.000 What about that?
01:11:44.740 That's a good idea...
01:11:46.000 I'll be up there...
01:11:48.000 In...
01:11:49.660 March 15th...
01:11:50.980 And 16th...
01:11:51.800 I'll be in Tacoma...
01:11:53.080 At the comedy club...
01:11:54.480 So ladies... 1.00
01:11:55.180 If there's anybody that lives in Seattle...
01:11:56.740 Or if you're a man...
01:11:57.860 And you have a friend that lives out there...
01:11:59.160 That might be interested in meeting a guy like Tom...
01:12:01.840 You know...
01:12:02.740 That ticking Tom bomb...
01:12:04.660 Because that dude only got so much time...
01:12:07.160 Oh...
01:12:07.440 It's not even Tom... 0.99
01:12:08.240 His name's fucking Mickey... 1.00
01:12:09.480 Damn... 1.00
01:12:11.360 Fuck dude... 1.00
01:12:12.120 Sorry bro... 1.00
01:12:13.020 Well look bro...
01:12:14.660 Who cares what your name is dude?
01:12:17.440 You know what I'm saying?
01:12:18.320 It's not about your name...
01:12:19.760 It's about...
01:12:20.960 You know...
01:12:23.060 That you...
01:12:25.280 Have bad lungs...
01:12:26.340 And that this is...
01:12:27.100 You know...
01:12:27.480 What are you gonna do?
01:12:29.020 And I'm gonna try to boost your confidence a little bit...
01:12:31.420 By saying let's catch up when I'm out there in Tacoma...
01:12:33.740 And let's get you a date... 0.98
01:12:35.220 That's fucking tricky Mickey dude... 0.99
01:12:38.100 You know... 0.99
01:12:39.220 He's got them tricky airbags inside of him...
01:12:41.840 You know...
01:12:43.000 He's got two and a half years left on his lungs...
01:12:44.840 He's got them leased...
01:12:45.640 He's got them leased lungs...
01:12:46.840 You know...
01:12:48.480 And I had a bad lease on a car a couple years back...
01:12:50.940 And it's not the same thing but...
01:12:53.020 You know...
01:12:53.380 You only get so...
01:12:53.900 I only got so many miles...
01:12:54.900 I can only drive...
01:12:55.580 I got 4,000 miles a year...
01:12:58.300 On a lease...
01:12:59.480 And Jesus...
01:13:01.300 It...
01:13:01.740 It was miserable...
01:13:03.440 I remember pushing...
01:13:04.400 Sometimes I would have to push my car...
01:13:06.820 To get to where I was going...
01:13:09.240 To not have that odometer rack up...
01:13:12.040 And...
01:13:12.740 Because it's expensive...
01:13:14.660 But yeah...
01:13:15.300 Let's see if you have any ideas for Tom...
01:13:16.760 For boosting his confidence...
01:13:17.880 When he's under the gun of physical impairments...
01:13:20.080 I know we got a boy down there in Alabama...
01:13:21.780 Who doesn't have a leg...
01:13:22.840 And he stays confident...
01:13:24.660 And I'd love to see maybe what his thoughts are...
01:13:26.720 If he doesn't mind hitting the hotline again...
01:13:28.780 If you have an impairment...
01:13:30.800 And you deal with the confidence...
01:13:33.660 But you got some ideas for my boy...
01:13:35.540 Why don't you hit us up and let us know...
01:13:37.660 And we'll see if we can't help him out...
01:13:39.660 That's exactly what I'm thinking right there...
01:13:43.840 Let's take this one last call...
01:13:46.660 Right here...
01:13:48.420 And this is from Tom...
01:13:50.260 Here we go...
01:13:51.080 Hey Theo...
01:13:51.500 It's your boy Tom from rural North Carolina...
01:13:53.420 I've been kind of dabbling in the dark arts recently...
01:13:55.960 And this is dark artist Tom...
01:13:57.340 From rural North Carolina...
01:13:59.020 And I do remember you Tom...
01:14:00.480 Early caller from the beginning of the show...
01:14:02.640 Thank you...
01:14:03.300 I've been talking to this chick online...
01:14:05.060 Super cool...
01:14:05.820 But she's got a boyfriend... 1.00
01:14:07.820 And I'm a single guy...
01:14:09.140 So there's nothing wrong with me...
01:14:10.100 But the amount of time she spends texting me... 0.99
01:14:12.360 And talking to me...
01:14:13.340 And Snapchatting me...
01:14:14.960 And there's nothing like...
01:14:16.140 It's a little flirty...
01:14:17.040 But it's nothing like sexual...
01:14:18.340 It's nothing super promiscuous...
01:14:20.060 I think if her boyfriend saw the stuff...
01:14:22.760 I don't think he'd be thrilled...
01:14:24.140 I don't know what I'm doing is right...
01:14:25.540 Like...
01:14:26.460 I really like the girl a lot...
01:14:27.680 I think she really likes me a lot...
01:14:29.420 A little bit more than just casual friends...
01:14:31.420 She's not happy with her current boyfriend...
01:14:33.460 But she's not necessarily looking to leave...
01:14:35.220 And am I doing the right thing with doing this...
01:14:37.140 And if she's doing it to this guy...
01:14:38.560 You know...
01:14:38.840 Will she turn around and do it to me later... 1.00
01:14:40.220 Or...
01:14:40.900 I kind of feel shitty doing this to this dude...
01:14:43.180 Okay...
01:14:43.940 So you're texting a guy's girlfriend...
01:14:45.940 You know...
01:14:49.000 I'm going to tell you...
01:14:51.140 Here's what I'll say... 1.00
01:14:53.160 If you get murdered... 1.00
01:14:54.940 By this guy... 0.87
01:14:58.160 A lot of people aren't going to feel that sorry for you...
01:15:01.100 You know...
01:15:02.880 It's risky...
01:15:03.940 You know...
01:15:04.360 You're fulfilling a need...
01:15:05.560 But you're not...
01:15:06.940 You know...
01:15:08.180 You're not standing up for yourself...
01:15:09.940 If it's just...
01:15:10.940 It's just...
01:15:11.540 It's just risky man...
01:15:13.340 You don't know that dude...
01:15:14.420 You don't know what he's into...
01:15:16.300 You don't know how much he...
01:15:17.900 You know...
01:15:18.140 He might have anger towards his...
01:15:19.580 He might have anger towards her...
01:15:20.780 He'll take that out on you...
01:15:21.660 If he finds out...
01:15:23.140 You know...
01:15:23.760 It's risky...
01:15:24.980 It's risky dude...
01:15:27.140 So I don't know what to tell you...
01:15:28.720 But I think you probably know what to tell yourself...
01:15:32.980 You know...
01:15:34.040 If you're texting some man's girlfriend... 0.52
01:15:36.320 Just even saying that...
01:15:38.860 Sound it out...
01:15:39.600 I'm texting some man's girlfriend...
01:15:41.580 If that dude shows up...
01:15:43.900 And wants to bake me...
01:15:45.740 A...
01:15:46.140 A...
01:15:46.640 A...
01:15:47.320 A brisket... 1.00
01:15:49.520 Made out of my own ass... 1.00
01:15:51.320 I can't be surprised dude... 1.00
01:15:53.940 When that dude warms my ass up with his fists... 1.00
01:15:57.000 When that dude beats my ass... 1.00
01:16:00.200 So... 1.00
01:16:00.700 Be safe out there Tom...
01:16:01.660 That's all I can tell you bro...
01:16:02.960 Because it's dangerous...
01:16:03.760 It's ain't no game...
01:16:05.160 That's like little Kenneth out there...
01:16:06.740 Gambling...
01:16:07.820 Out there down 200...
01:16:09.000 Wanting to win money for America...
01:16:10.980 You know...
01:16:12.980 When people's out here having to...
01:16:15.380 Doing...
01:16:15.980 You know... 1.00
01:16:16.220 Getting blowjobs from... 1.00
01:16:17.820 You know... 1.00
01:16:18.540 People of the same sex... 1.00
01:16:19.840 When they don't...
01:16:20.220 That's not what they planned on...
01:16:21.860 The dark arts abound Tom...
01:16:23.980 And if you don't believe that...
01:16:25.980 Then I don't know what to tell you...
01:16:31.360 But if you guys got some advice for Mickey...
01:16:34.360 Then hit us up on that...
01:16:35.960 And uh...
01:16:36.620 Oh how ironic...
01:16:37.800 That I kept messing up the name Tom...
01:16:39.300 And then a Tom actually was our last caller today...
01:16:41.960 But thank you guys for supporting the podcast...
01:16:44.960 Um...
01:16:45.460 You can find all the dates at...
01:16:46.940 Theovon.com slash tour...
01:16:48.500 Um...
01:16:48.780 You can find...
01:16:49.500 Uh...
01:16:49.900 Links below...
01:16:51.180 And uh...
01:16:51.840 And we'll be back on Monday...
01:16:52.980 With a little bit of the state of the podcast address...
01:16:55.340 And uh...
01:16:57.400 And that's it man...
01:16:58.260 I want to thank...
01:16:59.020 Uh...
01:16:59.300 Stevie Starlight...
01:16:59.940 For hitting us up with that hitter out the gate today...
01:17:02.780 Let's...
01:17:02.940 Take it away again...
01:17:04.940 We're back...
01:17:08.920 Look...
01:17:09.980 If last week didn't go great for you...
01:17:12.920 Come back...
01:17:14.920 Make that bounce back...
01:17:17.120 Know what I'm saying?
01:17:19.240 Onward...
01:17:21.040 We're back...
01:17:27.360 This is for all the dudes out there...
01:17:29.920 Accidentally blow... 0.99
01:17:34.000 Getting blowjobs from other dudes... 1.00
01:17:36.400 Just to try to meet a woman... 1.00
01:17:44.000 For all the gents out there... 0.99
01:17:47.000 Who don't even have any lungs...
01:17:52.700 And they're just trying to meet a woman...
01:17:56.000 Just trying to get one more hit of love...
01:18:04.000 Fantasy...
01:18:05.840 You want that love...
01:18:06.560 You just gotta open your window sometimes...
01:18:08.340 Baby...
01:18:08.780 Make it on the wall...
01:18:10.280 And you just gotta...
01:18:11.280 You gotta say...
01:18:13.000 It's never too late...
01:18:15.000 It's never too late...
01:18:17.000 To come over...
01:18:21.000 Time slips away...
01:18:25.000 From you and me now...
01:18:27.000 Let that love into your universe...
01:18:29.000 Reverse baby...
01:18:31.000 So don't hesitate...
01:18:33.780 To come over...
01:18:36.520 It's never too late...
01:18:38.000 To let love come over...
01:18:41.000 To let forgiveness come over...
01:18:43.000 It's never too late...
01:18:47.000 To turn your anger into hope...
01:18:51.000 It's on us, man...
01:18:54.000 Alright, man...
01:18:56.000 You guys be good to yourselves...
01:18:57.220 I'll see you on Monday's episode...
01:18:58.540 Thank you guys...
01:18:59.560 For all the nice support this past week...
01:19:01.380 Man, I needed it...
01:19:02.300 And I'm back...
01:19:03.000 Ladies and gentlemen...
01:19:07.900 I'm Jonathan Kite...
01:19:09.000 And welcome to Kite Club...
01:19:10.500 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts...
01:19:12.480 On things like current events...
01:19:14.120 Stand-up stories...
01:19:15.360 And seven ways to pleasure your partner...
01:19:17.920 The answer may shock you...
01:19:19.500 Sometimes I'll interview my friends...
01:19:21.720 Sometimes I won't...
01:19:23.240 And as always...
01:19:24.260 I'll be joined by the voices in my head...
01:19:26.320 You have three new voice messages...
01:19:29.220 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club...
01:19:32.220 I've been talking about Kite Club...
01:19:34.040 For so long...
01:19:34.900 Longer than anybody else...
01:19:36.540 So great...
01:19:37.900 Aye...
01:19:38.540 Sweetie...
01:19:39.500 Here's a deal...
01:19:40.900 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club... 1.00
01:19:42.980 Is a dodgy bloody wanker... 1.00
01:19:44.820 Jermaine... 1.00
01:19:45.780 Hi...
01:19:46.980 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese...
01:19:48.900 And a McFlurry...
01:19:49.920 Sorry, sir...
01:19:50.400 But our ice cream machine is broken...
01:19:51.980 Oh-ho-ho...
01:19:53.260 No...
01:19:54.160 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me...
01:19:56.680 Anyway...
01:19:57.500 First rule of Kite Club is...
01:19:59.120 Tell everyone about Kite Club...
01:20:00.860 Second rule of Kite Club is...
01:20:02.860 Tell everyone about Kite Club...
01:20:05.120 Third rule...
01:20:06.040 Like and subscribe...
01:20:07.060 Wherever you listen to podcasts...
01:20:08.780 Or...
01:20:09.220 Watch us on YouTube...
01:20:10.240 Yeah?
01:20:10.880 And yes...
01:20:11.460 Don't worry...
01:20:12.180 My Brad Pitt impression will get better...