This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 14, 2019


H3's Ethan Klein | This Past Weekend #244


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 46 minutes

Words per Minute

203.39781

Word Count

21,602

Sentence Count

2,213

Misogynist Sentences

51

Hate Speech Sentences

70


Summary

In this episode of the H3PODCAST, we have a special guest, Ethan Klein. Ethan and his wife have a new baby, a baby boy, and they are trying to figure out what to name him. Ethan talks about his struggles with eating disorders and how he s dealing with them. We also talk about his experience with his grandmother and how she disbarred him for eating candies.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 All right. I want to let you know before we begin the episode, a couple dates that are rescheduled.
00:00:07.800 These are rescheduled dates. February 27th, the Sayersville, New Jersey date has now been moved.
00:00:16.060 And it is February 27th in Red Bank, New Jersey at the Count Bassey Center for the Arts.
00:00:24.140 It's going to be the Count Bassey Center for the Dark Arts that night.
00:00:27.120 But those tickets go on sale Friday at 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.
00:00:33.340 As well, the next night, I will be in Oxen Hill, Maryland at the theater at MGM National Harbor.
00:00:41.880 That is a rescheduled date. And it is now on February 28th. Oxen Hill, Maryland. It's back on.
00:00:49.200 So if you had tickets before, then you will still have tickets.
00:00:52.500 Yes. They should be emailing you. So you may want to touch base with your email.
00:00:57.300 Today's guest is a young man. We became buddies on his podcast.
00:01:05.540 And I don't even like saying the word buddies, actually, so I'm not going to say it again.
00:01:09.460 But I will say that this man is a unique man.
00:01:14.140 And he's from the H3 podcast.
00:01:17.000 H3 podcast. And he got some new child, him and his wife.
00:01:21.260 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ethan Klein.
00:01:24.080 Oh, my.
00:01:26.360 Shine that light on me.
00:01:31.900 I'll sit and tell you about stories.
00:01:36.780 Shine that light on me.
00:01:42.440 I'll sit and tell you about stories.
00:01:44.740 Dude, you look lean. Are you even leaning out?
00:01:47.760 Well, thank you for that.
00:01:49.940 I've been on a feeding window, which is a funny way of saying intermediate fasting.
00:01:54.600 Intermediate. Intermediate fasting.
00:01:58.400 I know what you're talking about. Fasting sometimes.
00:02:00.380 Intermittent.
00:02:01.040 Intermittent, thank you.
00:02:02.040 I feel like a farm animal.
00:02:03.760 I like the feeding window analogy because it just sounds funny.
00:02:07.760 Like I just eat out of a trough for eight hours and then go into fasting.
00:02:11.660 I could see that.
00:02:12.280 I could see something around your neck full of nuts or beans.
00:02:14.740 Just a feeding bag around my neck at all times.
00:02:17.640 I feed between 10 and 6.
00:02:21.700 And then I fast.
00:02:23.700 So it's good for me because my urge is to eat all the time.
00:02:28.960 And so by putting that restriction on myself,
00:02:30.720 I feel like it cuts down on a lot of late night snacking.
00:02:34.960 Extra meals.
00:02:37.200 EMs, yeah.
00:02:38.120 Yeah, extra meals.
00:02:39.380 EMs make BMs.
00:02:40.640 That's what grandma used to say.
00:02:42.660 You grandma never said that.
00:02:45.640 She might have.
00:02:46.240 Dude, my grandmother didn't let me come visit her for 10 years at one point in Ireland.
00:02:49.540 Why?
00:02:49.860 You had beef with your own grandma?
00:02:51.260 I didn't.
00:02:51.800 She had beef with me.
00:02:52.700 I was too young, I think, to have beef.
00:02:54.340 How does your own grandma have beef with you?
00:02:56.860 She had beef with me.
00:02:57.920 She, um, there were some, we had some discrepancies at the house and then she said I couldn't come visit.
00:03:04.460 Tell me what happened.
00:03:05.480 You're being obscure.
00:03:06.760 Well, no, she said I ate some candies at her house and I didn't.
00:03:09.380 I don't know if I ate them or not.
00:03:10.540 You're making this shit up.
00:03:11.580 No, I'm not.
00:03:12.180 You, you don't get, you don't get banished from your grandma with candies.
00:03:16.000 You can use the term disbarred if you want.
00:03:17.280 Your grandma disbarred you over some Werther's classics?
00:03:19.860 Yeah, bro, definitely.
00:03:20.900 Shit, that's cold flooded.
00:03:22.240 Bro, it was ice cold.
00:03:22.940 Your family, your background is tough.
00:03:25.340 That was probably one of the rockiest parts.
00:03:26.800 What kind of candies?
00:03:27.880 Oh, and here's the thing.
00:03:28.780 Oh, I know what it was.
00:03:30.060 It was chocolate covered cherries.
00:03:32.580 And here's the thing.
00:03:33.440 She made these good cookies and I didn't get to have those for a long time, but.
00:03:36.780 10 years over some.
00:03:39.020 That's God's plan, bro.
00:03:40.340 You know?
00:03:41.120 I guess so.
00:03:43.040 Well, now that I know that the show is going, what were we talking about?
00:03:47.940 Because I was interested if we could go take a step back.
00:03:51.520 Yeah, what were we talking about?
00:03:52.480 Oh, we were talking about Bill Burr.
00:03:54.500 Yeah, we were talking about, oh, welcome to the Bill Burr recovery group.
00:03:57.420 Yeah, I went into therapy after that episode.
00:04:00.060 I'm not even.
00:04:00.580 Did you really?
00:04:01.060 I'm not even being kidding.
00:04:02.840 I mean, I was having a depressive episode for a long time.
00:04:06.880 Right.
00:04:07.100 And I had these antidepressants next to my bed for a long time.
00:04:11.740 And you were taking them?
00:04:13.040 No, I hadn't decided to take them yet.
00:04:15.220 I was hesitant.
00:04:17.640 Yeah.
00:04:17.940 And after that episode with Bill Burr, I came home and I, that's when I started taking
00:04:22.920 antidepressants and I went to therapy.
00:04:25.840 Wow.
00:04:26.260 It was soul crushing.
00:04:28.100 And was it soul crushing because you felt like as an interviewer, it was soul crushing
00:04:31.820 or just like as a, on a human level?
00:04:33.900 Like, do you think, do you know the levels where it felt that it hit you?
00:04:37.780 Right.
00:04:39.200 Everything, man.
00:04:40.480 My, my fans were, I don't know, fans, but audience were very harsh.
00:04:45.860 As an interviewer, I felt like a failure.
00:04:49.980 It was just off.
00:04:51.120 It wasn't, you know, it wasn't, it didn't feel that bad, but it was the reaction, the
00:04:55.180 audience reaction to it afterwards.
00:04:56.800 I mean, I knew I had goofed up and that it was not the best interview and I was such a
00:05:01.800 big fan of Bill Burr, obviously, who isn't, he's, he's a legend.
00:05:05.280 And you just, in your mind, have high hopes that, that you'll be able to, to get something
00:05:12.820 good out of that.
00:05:13.500 Yeah.
00:05:13.600 There's expectations, I feel like, but the, the, the, there was people making like video
00:05:18.300 essays about how, what a terrible, you know, interviewer I am.
00:05:21.700 Oh, really?
00:05:22.420 That's, that's YouTube style.
00:05:24.000 That's kind of stuff I'm, I'm somewhat used to, but, um, that just felt, I just, it felt
00:05:29.200 like a rock bottom for me.
00:05:30.260 Cause I, I was having a hard time with the podcast and interviews in general.
00:05:33.540 And that for me was just kind of like the culmination of a lot of, a lot of stress.
00:05:39.080 Oh, that's interesting.
00:05:39.820 So it was like, so in hindsight though, does it almost feel like it was, it was, it was
00:05:45.320 supposed to happen?
00:05:46.140 Like it was like, oh, I needed something that kind of made me look at stuff or just gave
00:05:50.420 me like a moment to reflect?
00:05:52.440 Well, I definitely needed something to push me because taking antidepressants going to
00:05:56.400 therapy was like the best choice I ever made for me and my family and professionally too.
00:06:00.820 I mean, it's made everything better.
00:06:02.420 Really?
00:06:02.980 So, I mean, if it wasn't that, it'd be something else.
00:06:05.940 But, um, but that was like a little bit of, somehow it was part of a catalyst.
00:06:11.600 It was, it was a fuse lighter.
00:06:13.040 Yeah.
00:06:13.120 Yeah.
00:06:13.500 It was, it was that.
00:06:14.720 And I had him on a second time somewhat recently and, uh, it went great.
00:06:19.100 So I'm happy to hear that.
00:06:20.780 Yeah.
00:06:21.140 And he reached out.
00:06:22.080 He said he wanted to do it.
00:06:23.660 Huh.
00:06:23.960 I was like, God bless dude.
00:06:25.240 Let's go.
00:06:25.600 This is like fear factor for me.
00:06:26.920 Round two.
00:06:27.660 Yeah.
00:06:28.000 Ruined my life the first time.
00:06:29.260 Let's go.
00:06:30.480 And, uh, yeah, that's interesting.
00:06:32.920 Yeah.
00:06:33.100 It was a, yeah.
00:06:33.820 When he came in here, it was a strange experience, man.
00:06:35.940 It was, I don't know.
00:06:37.820 I just felt like he was a different person, not on podcasts than he was on podcasts.
00:06:42.000 It's almost like, but then also I didn't really know him that great.
00:06:46.380 And so maybe I just don't know how people are.
00:06:51.260 That's true.
00:06:51.960 I, I, I wonder if he listens to these.
00:06:54.600 Probably not.
00:06:55.480 Oh, I mean, I, I doubt he doesn't mean everybody's busy.
00:06:58.140 Yeah.
00:06:58.360 He's, he doesn't care what we think about him.
00:07:00.500 I listen to some of those murder things, you know, where people get murdered.
00:07:03.200 But some guy went walking into the woods in the Joshua tree and fucking never came out.
00:07:07.940 And how do you hear that?
00:07:09.340 There's a podcast that's called like missing people or something.
00:07:11.780 Do you feel like that when you talk about Bill Burr, like a missing person?
00:07:14.720 Oh, dude.
00:07:15.220 I felt like, oh, I felt like it was a couple of minutes where afterwards I was just kind
00:07:19.380 of wandering around, you know, but I don't know.
00:07:22.220 I just, you know, I didn't know him that good.
00:07:25.120 Let me, let me ask you this.
00:07:25.720 When you guys ended, I mean, it was, it was clearly, you knew it wasn't going well during,
00:07:30.200 or was it when you started to read?
00:07:31.420 No, I knew that there was something uncomfortable.
00:07:33.300 I didn't know if, I didn't know.
00:07:36.320 I thought for a second, like maybe I was going crazy or I was like getting pranked.
00:07:39.600 You're getting in your head.
00:07:41.200 You're one, what's going on?
00:07:42.520 Well, it was just an uncomfortable.
00:07:43.620 I'm just like, oh, well, he and I, obviously there's only so much time that we probably,
00:07:48.120 one of the reasons maybe we don't talk that much is because we.
00:07:51.300 Do you mind if I take these off?
00:07:53.520 No, it's fine.
00:07:54.480 It's because we shouldn't talk that much, you know?
00:07:59.260 But so.
00:07:59.860 I don't know what I thought.
00:08:00.720 I just thought here's a guy who is very, he's exactly what I thought when I, if I really
00:08:05.420 would have looked at it, oh, here's a guy who maybe this is exactly the way he is on
00:08:10.360 stage.
00:08:10.700 There's not a way for, there's no real difference, you know?
00:08:13.360 It's just, he's just rambling kind of like if he's unhappy, he's unhappy and he, you know,
00:08:19.600 eternally disgruntled, kind of, you know, guy who's kind of fighting against his own
00:08:27.840 probably ill wills and shit.
00:08:30.780 Looks like all of us are in some weird ways, but for him, maybe it's like a, just a different
00:08:34.760 battle.
00:08:35.320 And also that he, he likes to, that he's the center of attention a lot, I think.
00:08:39.900 And so it's, he probably, he might not be able to really notice when, how other people
00:08:45.640 are feeling or reacting.
00:08:46.980 That's kind of the vibe that I got at the end.
00:08:48.960 Right.
00:08:49.560 So the thing is like, I think, I feel like most guests, 99% of guests, they're, they're,
00:08:55.820 they're more gracious.
00:08:56.880 You know, they won't take the opportunity if they see you like are uncomfortable or you
00:09:00.280 goofed up or maybe you said, like when he sees an opening, he will, he like attacks.
00:09:04.940 Yeah.
00:09:05.340 You know what I mean?
00:09:06.060 And it's the same way as comedy.
00:09:07.020 Which is fine.
00:09:07.760 That's why he's so good at comedy.
00:09:09.200 But like, he, he is unlike anyone else I've ever interviewed because the second time when
00:09:16.120 I interviewed him, I really just like talked as little as I possibly could.
00:09:20.500 Yeah.
00:09:20.700 And that, and that was the best, but you, you obviously have to handle each interview differently,
00:09:24.920 but he was unlike anyone I had ever interviewed because.
00:09:29.380 Yeah.
00:09:29.860 And I don't even really interview.
00:09:31.240 He was one like, one, like why finish that sentence?
00:09:34.700 Sorry.
00:09:34.940 I said one.
00:09:36.380 Because he is, because he's not willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.
00:09:40.080 You know what I mean?
00:09:40.780 And he will, he will expose any chinks in your armor.
00:09:44.920 Yeah.
00:09:45.260 Yeah.
00:09:45.340 Because for him, that's comedy, right?
00:09:47.300 Right.
00:09:47.640 And he's going to make a funny moment out of it.
00:09:49.900 Right.
00:09:50.220 But for me, I'm like, oh shit, dude, my fragile ego.
00:09:52.680 And yeah, for me, I think I'm used to, I think I'm, I'm good to rip on people if that's
00:09:57.840 what we're doing.
00:09:58.520 I think I never knew what we were doing.
00:10:00.580 I think it's like, I brought roller skates to a fucking sword fight.
00:10:04.400 That's funny.
00:10:05.000 You know?
00:10:05.440 Yeah.
00:10:05.760 That's what I feel like.
00:10:06.900 That's a good analogy.
00:10:07.480 So I think, um, because in previous conversations I had with him, it had been more of a communication
00:10:13.340 about kind of real stuff that was going on in my career.
00:10:15.600 Right.
00:10:16.060 Questions I had, you know, and I was kind of looking up to him, I think also in some way
00:10:20.280 for me as a role model, you know?
00:10:22.900 Um, and when you get a, when you get a certain response from someone you have expectations
00:10:28.160 on in your own mind, they, for me, when I get a response to them that they don't, they
00:10:34.060 don't realize that I see them that way or it doesn't matter to them or whatever.
00:10:36.460 And that's fine.
00:10:37.420 It's his own world.
00:10:38.360 I built up in my head for some reason that hits harder a little bit, you know, where
00:10:41.840 it like, it's just a weirder dent.
00:10:43.900 But for me also, it's just like, I'm not even a fucking interviewer dog.
00:10:46.700 You know what I'm saying?
00:10:47.180 Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:10:48.600 We're doing our best, but I was just happy to sit down with him.
00:10:51.400 It was fucking, I think maybe we sat down maybe on the wrong day.
00:10:54.820 Maybe we started, you know, I don't know, but stuff we were talking about off the podcast
00:10:59.300 when I brought it up on the podcast, it was like, we'd never spoken off the podcast.
00:11:03.020 And that seemed very weird to me.
00:11:05.360 I had the same reaction to him, but like you made this joke about, do you have a, do you
00:11:08.960 have a gun in your helicopter?
00:11:10.340 But he, he just, I don't know why he took that so the wrong way.
00:11:15.160 Oh yeah.
00:11:15.900 I don't know.
00:11:16.280 That's just a funny, I mean, that's just a funny premise.
00:11:19.280 Yeah.
00:11:19.740 I think at that point I, uh, I had also at some point I kind of checked out, I think.
00:11:24.720 Yeah.
00:11:25.560 You know, I think I was kind of, uh, you said to me that you don't want to do guests anymore.
00:11:30.340 I'm doing, no, I'm doing less guests.
00:11:32.140 Is I had the same reaction too.
00:11:33.680 I was canceling episodes after that.
00:11:35.560 Oh no, I was, I needed to cancel episodes way before that.
00:11:37.800 I was trying to pay her down.
00:11:39.080 We were just trying to like, just too much stress.
00:11:41.560 What do you mean?
00:11:42.080 What stress about what?
00:11:42.980 This year I just hit a level of just too much stress for me, you know, just doing like
00:11:48.620 you get in, you know, like I started podcasting.
00:11:51.840 It was just me talking to myself, which is what's always going on in my head anyway.
00:11:57.100 And then, um, and then you get like, oh, and then you have a guest on, you try that and
00:12:05.680 you're like, oh, it was, it was kind of cool.
00:12:07.460 And then you try it again.
00:12:08.580 And a couple of times it's really fun.
00:12:09.920 And then you're like, okay, well, do I interview, you know, you see what other people do.
00:12:13.400 You see what other podcasters are doing, interviewing all types of people.
00:12:16.420 And so then I started doing that and like, just kind of finding my way, what fits and what
00:12:21.240 doesn't.
00:12:21.900 Right.
00:12:22.000 And Brendan and I started that King in the Sting podcast and that's just goofing around,
00:12:26.300 but it also took a lot of, it took a lot of, it took time, it took effort.
00:12:32.020 And so, um, it just all became a lot.
00:12:35.460 And then with the tour dates, it literally too much.
00:12:38.320 There was about two months, man, where I don't even know.
00:12:40.900 And like my, my, my thought, my, my peace, I was always a couple seconds off of peace
00:12:53.200 of mind.
00:12:53.720 It was just, I was never able to just, yeah.
00:12:58.340 And just to feel okay or know what was going on.
00:13:00.880 It was like I was speeding, um, but I didn't even know how to work the vehicle or something.
00:13:06.960 And I was still going real fast.
00:13:08.580 So that to me, it was just like, I need to tailback.
00:13:11.320 What am I?
00:13:11.860 Do I want to be a comedian or are we doing podcasting?
00:13:14.920 You have a lot of podcasts going on here.
00:13:17.120 You have three different sets in this studio.
00:13:18.980 Well, we will.
00:13:19.620 Yeah.
00:13:19.720 When we move King in the Sting into here.
00:13:21.360 Yeah.
00:13:21.680 But this is only once in a while now.
00:13:23.080 So this is kind of nice, you know, and now it's like, okay, I get to look forward to a
00:13:25.980 conversation as opposed to being like, okay, you know, getting right here and be like,
00:13:30.700 all right, I have to do this conversation.
00:13:32.460 I know exactly what you mean.
00:13:33.360 I was, I was in the same place where I was taking, just trying to get more interviews, but you end
00:13:37.600 up sitting across people that you frankly don't care about or not interested in, or you don't
00:13:42.340 have chemistry in.
00:13:43.340 Yeah.
00:13:43.640 Wolf of wall street.
00:13:44.420 That happened with me.
00:13:45.200 That guy I thought was just kind of, I don't know.
00:13:47.620 I didn't, I don't know.
00:13:49.040 It was just, and I, and then I felt I couldn't interview him the way I wanted to.
00:13:52.700 It was just like, I just didn't have enough of a plan of why I was even talking to this
00:13:55.900 guy.
00:13:56.180 I know exactly what you mean.
00:13:57.600 Yeah.
00:13:58.820 Yeah, dude.
00:13:59.440 So the last time I saw you, I'm trying to think if that was right before you kind of
00:14:05.080 took a break.
00:14:06.260 That was one of my finest interviews, man, was going in there.
00:14:09.000 Really?
00:14:09.660 Well, sometimes I like being a guest better, man.
00:14:11.800 I know exactly what you mean, man.
00:14:13.620 It's a lot of pressure being the host.
00:14:15.420 You have to make sure the show's running.
00:14:17.580 It's, I find it one of the hardest things as the host to be is like to actually listen
00:14:22.080 to what they're saying, but also being prepared, uh, where the conversation goes next so that
00:14:27.500 there's not dead air.
00:14:28.340 Right.
00:14:29.340 And, uh, it's because I really want to listen, but sometimes I'll, I'll be listening and
00:14:32.920 I'll be like, huh.
00:14:34.280 And then you don't know where you're going next.
00:14:36.080 Yeah.
00:14:36.600 See, that's my worst moment as a host.
00:14:39.660 Ah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:40.660 So, yeah.
00:14:41.220 Not knowing where you're going to end up.
00:14:42.120 But being a guest is great because it's all like, if this show sucks, it's your fault,
00:14:45.360 I feel like.
00:14:45.980 Yeah.
00:14:46.240 Yeah.
00:14:46.640 Yeah.
00:14:47.000 That's the thing.
00:14:47.580 I think some of the hosting maybe are just being like the person, the inviter, you know,
00:14:52.360 it's almost like being a woman during a sex pop.
00:14:54.540 It's like, Hey, come over here.
00:14:56.180 Let's see what you got.
00:14:57.420 And if you, if you suck, it's your fault.
00:15:00.740 Right.
00:15:01.680 I love that analogy.
00:15:03.780 Yeah.
00:15:04.200 Here, we got a question right here from a guy who might be Jack London's son.
00:15:08.460 Gang, gang.
00:15:09.100 What up to y'all?
00:15:09.780 What up, Ethan?
00:15:10.420 This is, uh, Chester Pink coming in from Detroit, Michigan.
00:15:14.360 It's cold out here, man.
00:15:15.540 Uh, I just wanted to call and ask Ethan, um, when you got into YouTubing, what was like
00:15:22.380 your goal?
00:15:23.640 Like, did you have all of this crazy success, you know, in your head?
00:15:28.600 Um, or were you just making funny videos and, and, you know, it just happened organically?
00:15:34.560 I'm, I'm curious.
00:15:35.400 Cause I think a lot of people get into what you do now, you know, they see you and they
00:15:40.060 say, Oh man, I want that.
00:15:41.260 So, they get into it maybe for different reasons than they should or, or than you did when
00:15:46.780 you got it, uh, started.
00:15:48.180 So, I'm just curious, uh, stoked to hear the podcast.
00:15:51.940 Gang, gang.
00:15:52.840 Gang, bro.
00:15:53.780 He looks cold.
00:15:54.820 He does look cold, man.
00:15:55.700 Damn, Detroit.
00:15:56.940 But he looks like one of those guys who's able to also, like, if you bundle up too much,
00:16:00.380 you can't meet any women, you know?
00:16:02.480 That's the thing about being a guy in the cold.
00:16:05.020 If you bundle too much, you're never gonna meet any woman.
00:16:08.480 What does that mean?
00:16:08.940 Like, oh, I'm gonna fuck this cotton ball going down the street.
00:16:11.480 They gotta see what's going on.
00:16:12.880 Yeah, you still have to show a little.
00:16:14.460 Right, right.
00:16:14.860 Whereas a guy will almost unwrap anything to see if they can fuck it, you know?
00:16:18.900 Do you think that guys should be able to, like, you know how, I mean, women can walk
00:16:23.600 around with their cleavage out.
00:16:24.740 Mm-hmm.
00:16:25.020 Do you think that guys should be able to show their dick off?
00:16:27.140 Like, tight pants and maybe, maybe like a, maybe like a little, a window to the balls
00:16:32.200 or some shit.
00:16:33.420 Like a little plastic window that you can see some nuts.
00:16:35.960 A window to the balls.
00:16:37.080 Yeah.
00:16:37.160 That reminds me of that old song.
00:16:38.340 Right.
00:16:38.600 Um, I feel like, uh, chicks want to see our dicks on the street.
00:16:44.400 Uh-uh, that's insane, man.
00:16:46.000 That's insane, bro.
00:16:47.460 That's fucking vape nation, bro.
00:16:49.300 That's fucking insane.
00:16:50.420 No, nobody wants to see my dick.
00:16:51.920 Well, I think if somebody, if you could show the nuts in a way where you could see the cleavage
00:16:57.080 of them.
00:16:58.060 Not cleavage, that's what I mean.
00:16:59.940 Oh, now that's talking, but I don't, I, the problem is your dick is in front of your
00:17:03.620 nuts.
00:17:04.420 You, you, well, you, you wrap it up, you tape it up or some shit.
00:17:08.240 Yeah, but now that's going to take an extra six or seven minutes.
00:17:10.860 But it's a, it's like the peacock feathers.
00:17:12.120 It's the whole beauty thing.
00:17:13.460 Like these girls spend a lot of time getting ready in the morning.
00:17:15.520 Why shouldn't we?
00:17:16.780 Let's tape our dicks up and get some fucking nut cleavage out there.
00:17:19.920 I don't think, I don't know, man.
00:17:21.580 I'm telling you.
00:17:22.440 I mean, look.
00:17:23.160 I'm telling you, man.
00:17:24.080 Forget about the winter clothes.
00:17:25.680 We got to get our nuts out there.
00:17:26.840 Do you think you have stylish dick or not?
00:17:31.160 I think my dick used to be stylish, but as I got older and fatter, my dick is get, is
00:17:37.080 turning into like a fucking California raisin, dude.
00:17:39.860 Is that true?
00:17:40.300 Now, what happens to your dick as you get put on more weight?
00:17:42.040 I've always kind of weighed the same.
00:17:44.180 Well, your erection quality gets worse.
00:17:46.960 Really?
00:17:47.280 I think just because, you know, you're fat, you're out of shape, you got to get that good
00:17:51.800 blood flow.
00:17:52.660 Oh my.
00:17:52.980 I mean, it works, you know, it's fine.
00:17:54.880 It works.
00:17:56.660 Hila laughs at me when I say that, so she has some confidence in my penis, at least,
00:18:00.820 but, which is nice, you know.
00:18:02.360 You want someone to believe in your dick.
00:18:04.320 Can she, uh, does she, um, yeah, I mean, she must enjoy your dick.
00:18:10.900 That's the thing about a woman.
00:18:11.660 They have to enjoy, that's the thing about, meeting a man is really a two-part thing.
00:18:15.080 They have to meet you and like you, and then they also, you have this second buddy that
00:18:18.700 they have to meet that they kind of have to like enough, you know?
00:18:22.620 That's funny.
00:18:23.180 Yeah.
00:18:23.540 It's like, oh, you also got to like my friend little Roger, you know?
00:18:26.660 It's like, yeah, this one.
00:18:27.640 Some people like him, some people hate him.
00:18:30.100 Hopefully you're one of the ones that like him.
00:18:32.020 That's such a crazy thing.
00:18:33.300 Yeah, she likes, she's, yeah, that's a, that's a really good point, you know?
00:18:37.160 I feel like vagina's not like that.
00:18:39.100 Like, it's all like, it's all good.
00:18:41.960 Yeah, it's all pretty good.
00:18:43.020 I mean, you put it in and at a certain point, like, you don't even have to really, like,
00:18:47.680 see it, you know?
00:18:48.880 Mm-mm.
00:18:49.720 Just happens.
00:18:51.040 But, but, but, but to answer your question, you know, um.
00:18:55.320 Did I have a question?
00:18:56.320 Yeah, about my penis.
00:18:57.180 What happens when you get fat and old?
00:18:59.180 Um.
00:18:59.720 Well, not old.
00:19:00.460 I mean, you're not old.
00:19:01.040 Not old, not 34.
00:19:01.960 I'm not old.
00:19:02.380 Oh, you're not old.
00:19:03.120 I'm 39.
00:19:03.940 Oh.
00:19:04.320 How's your dick working?
00:19:06.160 Mm.
00:19:07.000 My dick has never worked that great.
00:19:09.340 Really?
00:19:10.000 Yeah.
00:19:10.380 My dick worked really good when I was about 17.
00:19:12.480 Because I had a real large penis since I was very young.
00:19:15.120 So the same size penis.
00:19:16.900 So it's got smaller and smaller as you age.
00:19:19.120 No, it's gotten probably the same.
00:19:21.080 I think it's looked different maybe in different cities.
00:19:22.440 You said since you were, since you were, what age you had a big penis?
00:19:25.680 Really young.
00:19:26.480 So that's what I'm saying.
00:19:27.160 As you aged, you got bigger, your penis stays the same size.
00:19:31.100 Dude, I remember there were times where I could wrap both of my arms around, almost
00:19:34.260 like that's how young.
00:19:35.500 Like I wrap it around my penis and pull it close into my body.
00:19:39.020 Like I remember, yeah, just like almost like high, like at one point almost being able
00:19:45.020 to not hide behind it, but I remember definitely being like.
00:19:47.960 Well, that sounds pretty incredible.
00:19:49.260 So what is the conflict with it?
00:19:51.240 Just that it never grew.
00:19:53.580 It stayed that way.
00:19:54.980 And I grew.
00:19:55.880 That's what I said.
00:19:57.220 It is?
00:19:57.720 Yeah.
00:19:58.320 Okay.
00:19:58.560 So is it, so are you happy with the size of it and the, and the, the, you know what
00:20:02.320 I mean?
00:20:02.580 My penis is a little bit more of like kind of a wider penis.
00:20:04.820 It's more of like somebody trying to park a church.
00:20:06.580 It's more like a church van type of a deal, you know?
00:20:09.100 It's a chode, as they say.
00:20:10.720 No, it's not a chode.
00:20:11.520 Chode is very short.
00:20:12.800 I think chode is like a fat guy kind of bothering you, you know?
00:20:16.080 I don't feel like it's that.
00:20:17.780 I, I don't think there, I mean, the way you're describing your penis, I think is, uh, sounds
00:20:22.180 like something to be, something to be proud of.
00:20:24.760 Yeah, maybe it is, man.
00:20:25.920 I think I, yeah, maybe I have a negative idea of it.
00:20:28.720 Um, what about your penis, man?
00:20:30.620 Like I, when I was younger, I was very proud of it.
00:20:33.020 I was like, I'm ready to put this thing to work.
00:20:34.920 I'm very proud of this.
00:20:36.040 This is a beautiful, I like this.
00:20:37.440 You remember showing it to women when you were showing it to girls?
00:20:39.940 Oh, well, I didn't, I didn't get the opportunity, you know what I'm saying?
00:20:45.820 Not that much opportunity, but I did.
00:20:47.680 I had nice comments, you know?
00:20:49.360 I, I never had a problem.
00:20:50.720 It's good.
00:20:51.220 But, uh, you know, my pubes get longer, like my dick, all of a sudden when, like, I'm not
00:20:58.340 hard, my dick is like, in a, it's like lost in the, it's like an earthworm in a jungle
00:21:02.520 of fucking.
00:21:03.400 Oh, yeah.
00:21:04.160 In a, in a humid jungle, dude.
00:21:06.420 Damn.
00:21:06.920 I gotta mow the lawn.
00:21:08.240 And I'm getting fat, I can't even see my penis these days, boy.
00:21:11.180 Wow, does it really get wild when you get, starts putting on some weight?
00:21:14.260 Yeah.
00:21:15.020 Oh, wow.
00:21:15.480 You can't, I, I, and you know, I think, is it like you're looking for something?
00:21:20.220 It's not like that.
00:21:20.640 Also, I had anxiety problems in college.
00:21:22.600 I had trouble getting it up too, at certain points.
00:21:24.880 Oh, yeah.
00:21:25.400 And that was, that was a nightmare.
00:21:26.820 Dude, if there was a thunderstorm in the area, I couldn't get an erection.
00:21:29.040 I couldn't get an erection near a broken glass.
00:21:30.760 I had so much kind of sensual anxiety, man.
00:21:33.380 A ton of that.
00:21:34.320 I can totally relate to that.
00:21:35.580 It went away when I was in, like, monogamous relationships.
00:21:38.760 That's when I was able to perform at full mass, you know?
00:21:41.940 Oh, wow.
00:21:42.380 But, uh, there was times when I just, I wanted to, uh, it was such a shame, you know?
00:21:48.820 Because.
00:21:49.460 Yeah, you want to party.
00:21:50.020 It would have been the perfect time for that thing to work, you know what I mean?
00:21:52.980 Dude, I remember there was a girl I met at Tulane University years ago.
00:21:58.920 And we'd been out, met at a bar or something.
00:22:02.540 I think I'd known her, but finally we met out and we went back to her place or my place or
00:22:06.200 something.
00:22:06.360 I probably didn't even have a place, but we went somewhere to do sex.
00:22:10.100 And I remember I just couldn't get an erection, you know?
00:22:12.980 And I'm like, fuck, bro.
00:22:14.480 And she, and she's ready to go.
00:22:16.340 Dude, I had both my arms up.
00:22:17.500 Everything else in the, every, everything was up.
00:22:19.660 Everything is a wreck, bro.
00:22:21.060 Well, that makes your penis look even sadder.
00:22:23.200 Oh, dude.
00:22:23.500 And you're like.
00:22:24.080 And I would wear tight socks even to keep blood flow into the more pertinent.
00:22:28.160 Did you really?
00:22:28.880 Oh, 100%.
00:22:29.460 Does that work?
00:22:30.460 Uh, I felt like it did.
00:22:32.100 That's interesting.
00:22:32.700 It was a sport thing, but I don't know if it really did, but I would wear like those
00:22:35.840 compression socks, you know, like senior citizens wear, like nurses.
00:22:38.400 Oh, that's sick.
00:22:39.680 Dude, it was so sad.
00:22:40.480 That's high level shit.
00:22:41.160 Pulling those long bitches on.
00:22:42.560 Fucking, you were just going to the club, you know?
00:22:44.860 I wonder if girls.
00:22:45.500 You were just fucking rolling into some comm socks.
00:22:47.960 Is that something?
00:22:48.360 Just to listen to Nelly, bro.
00:22:49.720 That's awesome, though.
00:22:50.840 I wonder if that's the thing.
00:22:52.580 Is that something guys do?
00:22:54.480 Bro, here's the thing.
00:22:55.340 Was that your idea or was that shared with you?
00:22:57.340 No, no, no.
00:22:57.740 That was my idea.
00:22:58.180 That was your original idea.
00:23:00.060 Yeah, I mean, it just made sense.
00:23:01.080 You're a, you're a renaissance man, dude.
00:23:04.140 That's incredible.
00:23:05.960 I don't know about that.
00:23:07.780 I mean, that's.
00:23:08.340 I don't think I am.
00:23:09.140 I wish I thought of that.
00:23:09.900 You ever do anything like that?
00:23:11.080 No, I can't say they have.
00:23:13.000 No, but Nick's also made some.
00:23:14.420 Nick's done a lot, though.
00:23:15.840 Nick put this whole studio together.
00:23:17.180 Yeah.
00:23:17.660 You must have a really nice day.
00:23:19.300 I thought you were going to go into some more of my poor choices.
00:23:22.040 But yeah, thanks, thanks.
00:23:22.780 I was going to, but I'm trying to change my way I think.
00:23:24.860 Yeah.
00:23:25.220 So I'm trying to think of positive stuff.
00:23:26.280 Yeah, he's got a nice dick, for sure.
00:23:29.520 But anyway, yeah, man.
00:23:30.520 And I met.
00:23:31.240 And so anyway, couldn't.
00:23:32.600 Bro, and here was the excuse I remember that I used, dude.
00:23:35.760 Man.
00:23:36.060 I had to go meet somebody to go swimming, bro.
00:23:38.940 It was like 5 a.m.
00:23:39.780 Oh, you got out of there?
00:23:40.940 Yeah.
00:23:41.320 I was like, oh, I got out.
00:23:41.980 I'm supposed to meet somebody to swim at 5.30, I remember.
00:23:45.140 People swim at 5.30.
00:23:46.360 That's what I thought.
00:23:47.260 I'd seen some people swimming early.
00:23:48.600 Early morning swimming, yeah.
00:23:49.260 And she's like, really?
00:23:50.080 I was like, yeah.
00:23:50.880 We got a group.
00:23:51.800 That's what I said.
00:23:52.280 Man, I'm sad for that past deal.
00:23:54.740 Years later.
00:23:55.900 Yeah.
00:23:56.480 Meet up with her again.
00:23:59.100 Same fucking thing.
00:24:00.240 Because it's so, dude, the erection, mind connection is too strong.
00:24:05.020 Because you remember that and you're like, all right, I'm over that.
00:24:08.340 That's an old me.
00:24:09.840 But the mind gets the best of you.
00:24:11.860 Yeah, yeah.
00:24:12.280 Yeah, and that's what it was, dude.
00:24:13.460 I mean, I'm so in my head.
00:24:14.560 I mean, it's so hard for me to leave my head to live in a comfortable place in the world.
00:24:19.660 That's why I'm constantly seeing all my faults, constantly seeing all my problems, constantly seeing all my – and people are like, you got to quit being so hard on yourself.
00:24:28.880 I wish I could.
00:24:29.840 I want to.
00:24:31.380 The bigger thing for me is I just have to get out of my head because my head is just faulty.
00:24:36.240 It doesn't work very great.
00:24:38.000 Well, I'll tell you what.
00:24:38.760 I know exactly what you mean.
00:24:40.520 I mean, I feel the same way.
00:24:41.620 But you have this lens that you see the whole world through.
00:24:44.920 And when you – different people have been through different shit and it all gunks up your lens and you don't see the world as it is but as you are, right?
00:24:57.240 Yeah.
00:24:57.460 So when your lens is all gunked up and you've been through all this shit and, you know, it's hard to see – to not see things all messy like that.
00:25:07.780 Yeah.
00:25:08.260 But do you go to therapy?
00:25:10.740 Yeah, I go to therapy and I do 12-step.
00:25:13.100 You know, I'm in a recovery program so I go to 12-step and that kind of stuff definitely helps.
00:25:16.320 What are you recovering from?
00:25:18.020 I go to 12-step for drugs and alcohol.
00:25:21.660 What were you addicted to?
00:25:23.440 You know, I think honestly when I really think back on it, I was addicted to the way that I think.
00:25:27.900 My alcoholism is really –
00:25:29.280 Alcoholism.
00:25:30.280 Yeah, I have alcoholism.
00:25:31.840 Mm-hmm.
00:25:32.780 So, you know, I never drank much.
00:25:34.920 I would do some cocaine sometime.
00:25:36.320 I really enjoyed it.
00:25:37.380 But, I mean, my favorite drink was cocaine really.
00:25:40.440 Mm.
00:25:40.980 And –
00:25:41.780 That's not alcohol.
00:25:43.500 But I would fucking – I'll take a glass on it.
00:25:46.000 I'll take a glass on it.
00:25:46.820 Yeah, for sure.
00:25:47.100 Dude, I'll even fucking put ice in it.
00:25:48.360 I don't care, man.
00:25:49.280 You know, cocaine was just really enjoyable.
00:25:51.080 It's probably one of the best powders, I think.
00:25:52.940 I don't like it.
00:25:53.860 Isn't that interesting?
00:25:54.740 Really?
00:25:55.020 I've tried it and I hated it.
00:25:56.420 It made you real – what did it make you just chew?
00:25:58.180 Just like I drank a bunch of coffee.
00:25:59.960 I didn't feel euphoric.
00:26:01.120 I didn't feel confident.
00:26:02.440 I felt just like on edge.
00:26:04.380 Yeah.
00:26:04.580 I couldn't sleep.
00:26:05.660 It wasn't – I didn't feel good at all.
00:26:08.060 And I would sit with people and they'd be like – people get so intense and like chatty.
00:26:13.000 But I was very aware of the – that that wasn't like a real moment between people.
00:26:18.320 It was just like you get all fucking crazy off the cocaine.
00:26:21.840 Word burglars.
00:26:22.100 Yeah.
00:26:22.360 People, I fucking call them word burglars because they just keep talking.
00:26:23.760 But you're like this conversation is bullshit.
00:26:25.680 Yeah, it's bullshit.
00:26:26.480 It doesn't make – it's nothing.
00:26:27.580 It's nothing.
00:26:27.980 Yeah, you might sell your car.
00:26:29.000 Who gives a fuck to even talk about it for 40 minutes?
00:26:31.300 You know what I'm saying?
00:26:31.940 It's fucking 4 a.m.
00:26:33.200 Yeah, exactly.
00:26:34.660 We're at a Whataburger.
00:26:35.900 Yeah, exactly.
00:26:36.440 I'd fucking buy a shit from you.
00:26:37.420 That's right.
00:26:38.060 That's what I think of when I think of cocaine.
00:26:41.080 But I think I'm lucky in that my body – it rebels against drug use.
00:26:46.680 I always have the worst experiences with all drugs.
00:26:52.100 But you – cocaine was good for you.
00:26:54.620 No, it wasn't actually.
00:26:55.620 Actually, the experience is very much like you described it.
00:26:58.000 So what did you like about it?
00:26:59.300 I think I liked that it gave me an excuse to feel that way without – like it wasn't my fault anymore in a way because I would feel like edgy.
00:27:07.460 I would feel like just kind of overwhelmed or something.
00:27:11.320 And it's like, oh, well, now it's – at least it's this substance's fault, not yours or something.
00:27:17.520 Maybe.
00:27:17.960 I don't know.
00:27:18.800 Interesting.
00:27:19.400 But in the end, I just realized it was from my thinking.
00:27:21.980 You know, my thinking, I need to have a program to help me relieve the way that I think and the way I feel about myself.
00:27:29.800 Because those are really the drugs that I'm addicted to.
00:27:32.000 I'm addicted to, I think, feeling poorly about myself.
00:27:34.800 Right.
00:27:35.080 And I'm addicted to like this – just a negative system that started in my head, I think, when I was young that –
00:27:40.960 Right.
00:27:41.340 You know, just a bad software kind of, you know.
00:27:43.700 I know exactly what you mean, man.
00:27:45.340 But –
00:27:45.860 And I think what you're saying is, right, because your brain releases chemicals that makes you feel certain ways.
00:27:51.940 And when you're used to releasing this chemical that makes you anxious or stressed or whatever bad feelings you have where your mind is racing and you're thinking all these negative thoughts,
00:28:02.220 this is the kind of chemical your body gets used to producing.
00:28:05.080 And it's hard to put a stop to that.
00:28:08.800 When you're just sitting calmly in your house, your body's not producing that shit.
00:28:13.640 And so it's hard to kind of rewire your system.
00:28:17.980 But the antidepressants changed my life.
00:28:20.200 Really?
00:28:20.860 Yeah.
00:28:21.240 That's what helped me rewire my shit.
00:28:23.000 How long have you been on them?
00:28:24.360 Over a year.
00:28:25.380 Wow.
00:28:25.980 Fuck yeah.
00:28:26.440 Welcome.
00:28:27.420 Wait, you take it too?
00:28:28.700 Dude, 20 years.
00:28:30.180 20 years.
00:28:31.340 Holy fuck.
00:28:32.200 I used to do some pause stories before I go to the bar.
00:28:33.980 I'd put two fucking Zoloft in my ass, dude, when I used to live in Charleston.
00:28:39.200 Why up your ass?
00:28:40.680 I don't know.
00:28:41.200 This is about the time when I think that kind of shit was popular, you know?
00:28:43.660 It was kind of suppositories.
00:28:44.500 I don't think that enhances the experience.
00:28:48.160 Oh, dude.
00:28:48.580 I'll tell you this, bro.
00:28:49.480 I could drink 13 gin and tonics if I had two of those in my ass, man.
00:28:53.160 I don't think you're supposed to drink on antidepressants.
00:28:55.440 You're not.
00:28:56.080 I think what they say, actually, is that it makes it worse.
00:29:00.640 I mean, for me, it always felt like it was a little bit bad.
00:29:04.180 But I do remember I could, the first time I got Zoloft, man, it made me feel like, oh,
00:29:09.440 wow, man.
00:29:10.780 I'm a cool guy.
00:29:12.260 Really?
00:29:12.740 I can drink.
00:29:13.340 I can get up early and go do something.
00:29:15.160 Oh, it activated you.
00:29:15.880 I feel good.
00:29:17.020 Yeah.
00:29:17.400 What did it do for you?
00:29:18.260 Nothing.
00:29:19.080 I swear to God, it didn't affect me at all.
00:29:22.400 The only thing that changed is that I became less irritable, which was really, like, destroying
00:29:29.780 my life.
00:29:30.580 It's just I was so fucking irritable all the time.
00:29:33.000 Now, irritable, did that display itself as, like, anger?
00:29:36.520 Did everything kind of bother you?
00:29:38.220 Frustration, yeah.
00:29:38.980 Anger.
00:29:39.540 I would get, like, irrationally angry at my wife.
00:29:41.920 Oh, yeah.
00:29:42.540 And I know in my mind, it was the worst part, is, like, dude, why is this making you so
00:29:48.500 upset?
00:29:49.620 There's no reason for you to be this upset over this.
00:29:51.920 But I couldn't control it.
00:29:54.680 It's a prison.
00:29:55.820 You're a prisoner to your emotions in that regard.
00:29:58.680 Dude, it's so funny.
00:29:59.460 You said I went to the gym this morning, right?
00:30:01.220 And I hired a trainer recently to help me just get me a little more motivated.
00:30:06.020 And when I got there, I was just not in a good mood, man.
00:30:08.620 It was 9 a.m., so not that early.
00:30:11.080 But, and I told him, I said, hey, man, I'm just in a really bad mood.
00:30:15.140 I said, there's nothing I can do about it.
00:30:16.460 I said, I don't, I'm trying not to be.
00:30:18.280 I don't want to be.
00:30:19.420 But it's like having a shirt on.
00:30:21.320 It's like just, I'm in this shirt.
00:30:22.800 I have to have this shirt on today.
00:30:24.140 And I'm going to do my best in this shirt, but there's no, I can't fucking change this.
00:30:28.240 It's crazy.
00:30:28.940 Yeah.
00:30:29.060 It's like you're in something and you know you're in it.
00:30:32.320 Yeah.
00:30:32.680 It's, it's really, you're a prisoner to your emotions.
00:30:34.780 And it's so frustrating because.
00:30:36.960 Fuck, man.
00:30:37.480 I feel like, I feel like such pussies that we're talking about this, but it's real.
00:30:40.500 It's some of the realest shit for me.
00:30:42.240 It's so, I mean, it's everything.
00:30:44.940 It's everything.
00:30:45.560 It defines your whole, how you experience everything.
00:30:48.180 And it's so frustrating knowing that inside of you is this, how you want to be, how you
00:30:56.320 wish you were.
00:30:57.260 Yeah.
00:30:57.460 And you know that, that you've been there and you, you want to feel that normality.
00:31:02.920 And, but you just, you're, you're, you're in prison.
00:31:06.620 You can't escape.
00:31:07.380 And so for me.
00:31:09.200 The antidepressants helped.
00:31:10.300 It did help.
00:31:10.940 It's not like a, you know, I still have bad days, but, um, for the most part, I feel
00:31:16.600 like, you know, I don't know.
00:31:18.640 The therapy helped a lot too.
00:31:19.980 I, I talked and kind of thought about things that I had never thought about before.
00:31:23.980 Good therapist.
00:31:25.080 Yeah, I think so.
00:31:27.600 Did you try a couple before you went?
00:31:29.740 I tried one through my health insurance.
00:31:32.500 He was, it was the work.
00:31:33.420 It was awful.
00:31:34.300 Dude, they sent me to a guy who did puppetry work, dude.
00:31:36.700 I'm like, who the fuck is this dude?
00:31:38.020 Was his name Jeff Dunham?
00:31:39.160 Huh?
00:31:39.380 That would have been wild.
00:31:41.380 If you talk to Peanut as puppet for therapy and then jalapeno comes out, you're like, what
00:31:45.860 is this?
00:31:48.600 I'm like, why is it?
00:31:49.900 Yeah.
00:31:50.420 $200 an hour.
00:31:51.500 You would think it should be fucking Jeff.
00:31:53.020 Yeah.
00:31:53.360 Right.
00:31:54.060 Dude.
00:31:54.280 My therapist was four 50 an hour.
00:31:56.400 No way.
00:31:58.040 I was like, man, I didn't even like, he's good, but he doesn't like give me a reach around
00:32:02.980 or anything.
00:32:03.500 Like four 50 an hour, dude.
00:32:05.100 He should be cooking food.
00:32:06.060 He shouldn't be making an entire dinner for you while he has therapy.
00:32:08.980 I hate to interrupt you, but I am going to, because here we are.
00:32:13.000 Look at this.
00:32:13.700 Look at me.
00:32:14.820 It's me.
00:32:16.720 Do you care about your eyes, bruh?
00:32:19.100 Well, you should.
00:32:20.500 How else are you going to know if you do or if you don't?
00:32:22.640 If you can't even see yourself with my lifestyle and the sun here in California, a lot of times
00:32:29.080 I don't know what's going on.
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00:36:19.540 You want quality?
00:36:21.540 This is your time.
00:36:23.780 We got a question right here from a beautiful young Filipino, Jim.
00:36:26.020 Oh, we never answered the first one.
00:36:27.460 Huh?
00:36:28.020 Yeah, but he knows we care.
00:36:29.720 I can answer it now.
00:36:31.180 Can we hop back to it?
00:36:32.000 Because this one's kind of related what you guys are-
00:36:33.200 I remember the question was, what did you plan when you started YouTube?
00:36:37.860 Did you want to get famous?
00:36:38.880 Did you want to get rich?
00:36:39.680 No.
00:36:40.180 What I planned-
00:36:41.000 I'll tell you, I remember the exact moment.
00:36:43.400 I knew I wanted to do comedy.
00:36:44.900 I knew I wanted to be an entertainer.
00:36:46.660 I never thought that I could ever be on screen because it's like when you don't have connections
00:36:51.720 and I didn't ever really want to be a stand-up comedian.
00:36:55.260 I knew that wasn't my path just because, I don't know.
00:36:59.400 But you were brave.
00:37:00.420 You were brave in some comedic way.
00:37:02.060 You knew that about yourself because you did like vape.
00:37:04.320 You know, I was watching Vape Nation the other day.
00:37:06.260 Yeah, that-
00:37:06.800 And you did, you know, you were-
00:37:09.080 That's kind of a brave, strange thing.
00:37:11.460 Yeah, I mean, those videos were really hard to make.
00:37:13.980 It's intense going on the street and doing that.
00:37:17.500 But in the very beginning, I thought I'd be a writer or something because-
00:37:21.620 But at any rate, I remember I was watching Jimmy Kimmel of all people and he says,
00:37:26.360 you know, these days with YouTube, if you're funny and you work hard enough and you're talented,
00:37:34.380 you know, back in the day, you had to know somebody.
00:37:36.060 You had to be connected.
00:37:36.740 But these days, if you're funny and you just put yourself out there on YouTube,
00:37:41.620 eventually something's going to happen for you.
00:37:44.220 There's something to the essence of that.
00:37:45.740 And so I was like, you know, that's true.
00:37:47.540 Like, I'm sitting around trying to find, like, someone to give me an opportunity or something,
00:37:53.600 you know.
00:37:54.540 I was working a day job.
00:37:56.380 I was full-time doing some marketing bullshit.
00:37:59.120 So I started on the weekends just making goofy YouTube videos, just not with any expectation
00:38:08.180 at all, just to get my chops, to find my voice, to figure out what I liked and who I was comedically.
00:38:16.000 And I did that for, like, two years.
00:38:17.780 You know, we collected a small following of people, which I was so, I mean, I was so blessed.
00:38:23.600 There was this, like, in the beginning days, there was, like, I had a very loyal, small group of people that found me somehow.
00:38:31.500 Oh, yeah.
00:38:31.800 It was like the Book of Eli back then.
00:38:33.220 Have you seen that movie?
00:38:33.840 No.
00:38:35.540 Kind of similar.
00:38:36.200 What's the one where Will Smith finds his dog or whatever?
00:38:38.540 I Am Legend.
00:38:39.260 Yeah, I was like, I Am Legend.
00:38:40.220 I did see that.
00:38:41.660 But I don't get the analogy.
00:38:42.160 Early YouTube, I mean.
00:38:44.000 Because there's only one person, you were the only person there.
00:38:46.340 There's, like, people wandering around just trying to find their group, you know?
00:38:49.140 It's, like, just a few people.
00:38:50.300 I see.
00:38:52.140 But I, but I, well, I was trying to think of zombies.
00:38:55.680 Takes another antidepressant.
00:38:57.260 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:58.100 Put them up, do you still put them up your butt?
00:39:00.240 Huh?
00:39:00.660 No, no, no, no.
00:39:01.180 That was college, bro.
00:39:02.280 Yeah, that's good.
00:39:03.220 Jesus, dude.
00:39:03.860 You should take them by the mouth, I think.
00:39:05.580 Oh, I take them by the mouth?
00:39:06.700 Yeah, man.
00:39:07.320 But don't you get left with a bunch of, like, powder in your ass, or does it just soak it all up?
00:39:11.240 No, dude, this is back when I had a pretty fucking designer asshole.
00:39:14.340 When you're young, your asshole's a fucking.
00:39:16.380 It's a sweet, tight little bastion.
00:39:18.800 Oh, it's a fucking, yeah.
00:39:19.820 It's just like a new on-rand.
00:39:21.140 It's like the, uh, it's the fountain of youth.
00:39:23.360 Oh, yeah, bro.
00:39:24.460 And now your asshole's seen some mileage?
00:39:26.780 No, it's just, you know, it's more of a, you know, it's just had, it probably feels like,
00:39:33.580 it seems like it's just had, I don't know, mileage is the term.
00:39:37.920 It's just, you know, the city, I don't know if the city's always taking great care of it.
00:39:42.760 Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair enough.
00:39:44.480 You ever take a shit, like, a big-ass shit, it feels so good, coming out, it's a very pleasant
00:39:50.740 experience, and you look, and it's like a big-ass shit, like, and you're like, damn,
00:39:54.300 I kind of get why dudes, like, ain't fucked in the ass.
00:39:56.800 Nope.
00:39:57.880 But.
00:39:58.380 Because it's like, damn, like, if it can feel that, like, a shit that big just came out
00:40:03.300 of my ass, and I didn't even mind it one bit, you know what I mean?
00:40:07.780 I won't take really big shits, I'll wait until they feel a little bit smaller, and then I
00:40:10.580 take them.
00:40:11.240 Well, if you, oh.
00:40:12.320 Because I don't have control over that.
00:40:13.980 I don't wait, it just happens when it happens.
00:40:16.020 Well, you can wait, I mean, it's in your body, you can feel how much shit I mean.
00:40:18.000 No, for me, it's like, now or never.
00:40:20.020 Or it's like, now, it's not never, it's, when I need a shit, I need a shit, there's no
00:40:23.860 holding back.
00:40:24.660 Damn, you're like the fucking, this is like the Fast and the Furious.
00:40:27.160 I got that Jewish bowels.
00:40:28.920 Oh, Jewish bowels, yeah.
00:40:30.120 Yeah, I have Jewish bowel syndrome.
00:40:31.720 Oh, dude, yeah, my Jewish buddies, you give them half a teaspoon of fucking sour cream
00:40:36.100 and you fucking won't see them for a month.
00:40:37.620 Yeah, that's right, that's true.
00:40:39.160 Yeah, we call that Jewish bowel syndrome.
00:40:41.500 Do you really?
00:40:42.780 No, I just made that up, but it should be a thing.
00:40:45.020 Bro, it's so crazy, my Jewish buddies, smartest, most capable humans, dude.
00:40:49.080 Well, you know why?
00:40:49.520 You give them half of a fucking cracker that doesn't agree with them, bro.
00:40:52.580 You know, you didn't even need the Holocaust, you could have just distributed sour cream to
00:40:56.020 the population, that's the final solution.
00:40:58.400 But you know why?
00:41:00.640 Because we're all inbred.
00:41:02.420 Fuck yeah.
00:41:02.920 Yeah, we're just inbred as fuck, so I guess that does something.
00:41:06.320 But we all have mental disorders, I have like Tourette's syndrome, you know, I'm a fucking
00:41:10.640 mess.
00:41:11.120 We had a question that came in about that, let's get right to that.
00:41:13.380 We didn't have a question about the Tourettes, but we-
00:41:15.740 Never mind.
00:41:16.180 We had a guest.
00:41:17.020 Nick and I work for a different podcast.
00:41:18.080 All right, cool.
00:41:18.500 We had a guest named-
00:41:22.240 Oh yeah, we had a guest that came in named Nick-
00:41:25.200 Mark.
00:41:25.780 Mark.
00:41:26.520 Mark Elliott.
00:41:27.340 He would give TED Talks because he cured his Tourettes through the-
00:41:32.000 And he was in System of a Down, what was he in?
00:41:33.720 That sex cult that got Keith Raniere-
00:41:37.660 That's a little weird.
00:41:39.020 In Vixen, remember that In Vixen sex cult?
00:41:40.720 He was in that?
00:41:41.540 He was like, kind of like in one of like the-
00:41:44.240 He was like a side piece, kind of.
00:41:45.760 Well, I'm not surprised because that's definitely not possible.
00:41:49.440 There's a lot of different things that are like Tourette's, but Tourette's is a neurological-
00:41:54.940 Well, let's see.
00:41:55.660 This is what he's got.
00:41:59.860 Oh, wait.
00:42:00.320 Is this the-
00:42:00.920 This is the guy.
00:42:01.700 Is this the guy you interviewed?
00:42:02.920 Yeah.
00:42:03.320 Oh, okay.
00:42:03.720 I won't take.
00:42:10.720 I can't diagnose him if that's what you're asking me to do.
00:42:12.660 You can try that.
00:42:13.740 It's YouTube, man.
00:42:14.820 Yeah, you can.
00:42:15.580 It's cool.
00:42:16.080 There was 15 kids in the class.
00:42:17.960 Look, there's so many different-
00:42:19.520 It really had.
00:42:20.440 Tick disorders.
00:42:21.720 There's a new neurological disease I just heard about on the news that kind of manifested
00:42:28.240 itself like Tourette's.
00:42:30.140 I mean, I couldn't possibly diagnose the guy.
00:42:31.980 For me, it's a heretical condition.
00:42:36.100 My uncle has it.
00:42:38.060 It's passed down from my family members down the street.
00:42:40.260 When you see your uncle, do you guys have a different type of, is there like a sixth
00:42:45.980 sense almost?
00:42:48.600 Well, his is worse than mine, so it's really easy to spot.
00:42:52.800 But when you see him, is there like, here's what I'm saying.
00:42:56.080 If I had wings on my back, right?
00:42:58.500 And I saw somebody else with wings on their back, I would be like, oh.
00:43:02.580 Is there camaraderie between-
00:43:04.020 Yeah, like is there like a-
00:43:05.060 Not really.
00:43:05.880 What?
00:43:06.720 Because I'll tell you, in my experience-
00:43:09.080 Oh, that fucking breaks my heart, man.
00:43:10.860 It was a very personal experience that I never met anyone else that had Tourette's growing
00:43:16.740 up.
00:43:17.060 I never knew anyone else.
00:43:18.300 So for me, it was a very-
00:43:19.420 Oh, you were the only one?
00:43:21.020 Yeah, that I ever knew.
00:43:22.820 And it's a very personal experience in battle, the way I felt it.
00:43:27.060 I didn't-
00:43:27.800 I preferred not to talk about it, because I feel like even being aware of it made it
00:43:31.740 worse.
00:43:32.580 So like when my parents tried to talk to me about it, I would just tell them, you know,
00:43:36.600 I would get upset.
00:43:37.360 I would say, just don't bring it up to me, because I don't want to- I felt like the less
00:43:42.400 I was aware of it, the less it bothered me.
00:43:45.000 If you didn't make it a big thing.
00:43:46.000 And these days, it doesn't bother me so much, but as a kid, it's a lot to work out in your
00:43:50.940 head.
00:43:51.420 And it was worse when I was a kid, too.
00:43:53.420 So I think I was very lucky, though.
00:43:55.400 I was very fortunate to have friends who were very cool and understanding and not judgmental
00:44:00.520 about it, because I can see that that could really-
00:44:04.520 Oh, yeah.
00:44:05.140 Fuck you up growing up.
00:44:06.700 But I mean, I was so fortunate to have friends that were very generous with their compassion.
00:44:12.740 Yeah, that's huge, because imagine that you have- yeah, you have that, and people are
00:44:19.060 just giving you a hard time, and you have no outlet.
00:44:20.840 Yeah, and you look weird as fuck.
00:44:22.560 It's hard to control it.
00:44:24.000 And what kinds did you have?
00:44:24.980 What kind of- because sometimes you get- we had a guy that was always like kind of playing
00:44:27.980 freeze tag with himself, it seemed like.
00:44:30.020 We had a guy- we had a blind guy.
00:44:34.200 That's not Tourette's.
00:44:34.920 We had a guy- what else did we have, dude?
00:44:37.760 We had a guy- we had a dude who was- he would always ride this bicycle that had a baby seat.
00:44:45.540 Remember the baby seat?
00:44:46.440 You would sit behind your mom on the seat.
00:44:48.800 And those used to be dope.
00:44:49.920 Now these kids ride in like a fucking big covered wagon or something, like they're in
00:44:53.300 fucking England or something, you know?
00:44:55.080 But we used to ride- it was just a seat with like a shitty fucking seatbelt.
00:44:59.360 And you would just sit in there and fucking bounce behind mom.
00:45:02.040 We had a dude in our town that was like- he had some type of something.
00:45:06.660 And he would just drive one of those all the time, but no baby in the back.
00:45:12.800 And people always thought that something had happened, he'd lost his family or something.
00:45:16.560 But what was yours like?
00:45:19.300 I just had- so when I was a kid, it was- it's a weird thing.
00:45:22.420 I feel like with Tourette's you can pass around your tics.
00:45:25.220 So like, for example, I had one where I opened my eyes real wide.
00:45:28.040 And that- you just- you don't want to draw attention to yourself, right?
00:45:31.980 That's what you avoid.
00:45:33.100 Okay, so it's almost like having something but trying to hide it inside of yourself?
00:45:35.940 Yeah, like I have one where I roll my eyes so I would like cover my eyes so people didn't
00:45:40.300 notice.
00:45:40.820 Or I have one where I shake my head.
00:45:42.580 That one really bothered me.
00:45:44.420 It gave me headaches all the time.
00:45:45.820 So what I found you can do is if you resist the urge, your body will manifest new tics in
00:45:53.240 different ways.
00:45:54.060 So I would like fight off this urge to shake my head because it drew attention to myself.
00:45:58.040 And I don't like that.
00:45:59.020 And now instead, I wiggle my toes.
00:46:01.020 Oh, wow.
00:46:01.440 So you can't see that.
00:46:02.280 You don't know I'm wiggling my toes.
00:46:03.560 I like that.
00:46:03.620 Shit like that.
00:46:04.360 So you can redirect- I found personally that I can redirect the tic energy.
00:46:10.580 So it's an energy that's trying to escape you.
00:46:13.580 The best way I can describe it is like you- it's not like I don't have control over it.
00:46:19.320 I cannot do it.
00:46:20.280 But it's like having an itch.
00:46:22.040 It's like having an itch.
00:46:22.760 Yes.
00:46:23.740 So it's like, you know, it's awful.
00:46:27.140 It's a horrible feeling not scratching an itch.
00:46:29.540 It drives you crazy.
00:46:30.480 That's even what Mark even said.
00:46:31.820 I remember him saying something like that.
00:46:33.720 That Mark Elliott said.
00:46:34.580 It was like having an itch and you have to scratch it and you have to do something to
00:46:38.020 scratch it.
00:46:38.460 And sometimes you don't- yeah.
00:46:40.600 It's just-
00:46:40.960 That's the best way I can describe it.
00:46:42.260 I don't know what he's got as far as I'm aware that, you know, Tourette's is not-
00:46:46.360 It's not a curable-
00:46:48.040 Yeah, he thanked the Nixxiom cult, whatever their- their organization, their process was
00:46:54.980 for getting rid of the forearm.
00:46:56.080 You should look into that.
00:46:56.800 He did more vocal- he had more vocal tics.
00:46:58.900 Did you ever have vocal tics?
00:46:59.780 So Tourette's is characterized by vocal tics.
00:47:03.420 Oh, okay.
00:47:03.840 So mine was clearing my throat like-
00:47:05.860 I do that?
00:47:06.620 I still do that?
00:47:07.120 I'm sorry.
00:47:07.480 I'm such an asshole.
00:47:08.380 No, it's cool, I think.
00:47:10.140 Oh, fine.
00:47:11.260 I thought I muted it.
00:47:13.020 That's the difference between like tic syndrome and-
00:47:16.360 And, and like- and Tourette's syndrome- Tourette's is characterized by vocal tics, so-
00:47:23.060 Was there any fun ones you would get sometimes?
00:47:25.800 No, there's no- there's no fun one.
00:47:28.400 They're all annoying.
00:47:29.540 They're all annoying.
00:47:30.280 It's just a matter of like, uh, being able to-
00:47:33.860 Actually, they're not all annoying.
00:47:35.460 It doesn't necessarily bother me that I have to wiggle my toes, but I have like, you know,
00:47:39.240 I have like a sleep paralysis where you wake up or you, you're in a semi-conscious state.
00:47:47.300 You know what sleep paralysis is.
00:47:48.440 Oh yeah, I love it.
00:47:50.580 That's sarcastic?
00:47:52.100 No, I love sleep paralysis.
00:47:53.280 When you get that thing where you're like-
00:47:54.940 Really?
00:47:55.460 Oh, I'll pray for-
00:47:55.940 You mean like waking?
00:47:57.160 Every time I go to sleep, I pray for that, dude.
00:47:58.660 I love that shit.
00:47:59.760 Really?
00:48:00.620 Yeah.
00:48:00.940 Sometimes it's the most exciting thing I'll do all month.
00:48:02.740 Can you expand on that?
00:48:05.480 Yeah, like sometimes, yeah, like you wake up and, but you're not really awake and you
00:48:08.700 can't move, but you're like alive, you know?
00:48:10.920 That's not- I mean, that sounds awful the way you described it.
00:48:13.420 Yeah, sorry, I love it, man.
00:48:15.420 Really?
00:48:16.540 Yeah, because sleeping gets so boring to me.
00:48:18.420 Sometimes sleeping gets so boring.
00:48:19.320 Most people find it terrifying.
00:48:20.860 It's like, oh, I'm just going to lay here for seven hours, you know?
00:48:23.380 I like sleeping.
00:48:25.200 Sleeping rules, dude.
00:48:26.860 Yeah, look, I've thought it ruled for some time and then recently-
00:48:30.080 You get bored?
00:48:30.920 Yeah, past year and a half.
00:48:31.780 It is a waste of time, technically speaking.
00:48:34.060 Yeah, I just feel like in the future, they're going to be like, can you believe that when
00:48:38.020 our great-grandparents were tired, they fucking went and laid somewhere for eight hours?
00:48:42.960 That'd be amazing if we could eliminate that.
00:48:45.000 Yeah.
00:48:46.240 Think of how psychotic it seems, really, to think that, man, oh, you think things weren't
00:48:50.880 going well, she went and laid down in a specific spot-
00:48:53.900 Just closed your eyes for eight hours.
00:48:55.060 For eight hours?
00:48:55.980 Yeah, that's pretty awesome.
00:48:56.420 That sounds like fucking autism, bro.
00:48:58.800 This lady has a question right here.
00:49:00.420 Hey, Theo.
00:49:05.100 Hey, Ethan.
00:49:06.660 Have you gotten a hit of that nursing elitit?
00:49:10.420 If not, have you thought about it?
00:49:12.540 I like how-
00:49:13.820 Let me know.
00:49:14.080 Gang, gang.
00:49:14.720 I like how excited she was by that.
00:49:19.000 She kind of lowered her voice and changed her mannerisms.
00:49:21.960 She looks nice, but she has two tits, too.
00:49:23.740 You see that?
00:49:25.480 Have you had-
00:49:26.400 I mean-
00:49:26.720 I certainly thought about it.
00:49:28.600 Did you try any of the breast milk?
00:49:29.660 The thing is that Hila wasn't- I probably would have, but Hila wasn't- she was having
00:49:33.380 trouble lactating.
00:49:34.400 Okay.
00:49:34.680 So, we feeding him.
00:49:36.580 He was actually, like, starving to death during the first two weeks, and it was awful.
00:49:40.640 We didn't know why.
00:49:41.380 He wasn't getting enough food, because Hila's-
00:49:43.120 Oh, she's nursing her.
00:49:43.960 He's not getting enough milk.
00:49:44.460 Yeah, she wasn't really producing.
00:49:46.780 And so, I would have totally sucked milk out of her titties.
00:49:50.980 I mean, I've tried many times before.
00:49:52.660 Really?
00:49:53.020 Even before she was pregnant.
00:49:55.000 That's fucking pretty cool, man.
00:49:57.400 No, I'm gonna try it.
00:49:58.340 Look, dude.
00:49:59.400 Everybody's-
00:49:59.520 I'm curious.
00:50:00.340 Yeah.
00:50:01.220 Everybody's had a sip of different things that come out of their body.
00:50:03.900 You know, everybody's, you know, I'm no fucking-
00:50:07.520 You know, even Emerald Legasse does like that on the pot.
00:50:10.360 Oh, yeah.
00:50:10.380 A little bam.
00:50:11.140 Bam.
00:50:11.460 Yeah, a little bam.
00:50:13.560 Yeah, I would have tried it.
00:50:14.880 You know, I've heard good things.
00:50:16.660 How has-
00:50:17.520 I know last time you and I were talking on your podcast, man, which was really fun, dude.
00:50:20.940 I'm so- I appreciate it that you guys had me on.
00:50:23.000 I've gotten such a nice response over the years from-
00:50:24.700 I want you to come back.
00:50:25.640 I'd love to come back.
00:50:26.380 Okay, good.
00:50:27.120 Soon.
00:50:27.540 We were talking-
00:50:28.540 You wanna go up?
00:50:29.100 We're in the same building.
00:50:29.820 We could go up there right now.
00:50:30.800 Nope.
00:50:31.560 We're gonna stay down here right now.
00:50:32.980 But how about this?
00:50:34.560 I'll come back after-
00:50:35.980 I would say probably after the first day of the year, I'll come back.
00:50:38.440 Love it.
00:50:39.080 Yeah.
00:50:39.260 Let's get that on the books.
00:50:42.200 And thank you.
00:50:43.400 Yes.
00:50:43.840 But yeah, we were talking about parenting and fatherhood and stuff like that.
00:50:47.040 Has your relationship with your dad changed since you have had a child?
00:50:50.420 Has it been-
00:50:51.620 You know-
00:50:51.980 Or have you had any moments to reflect?
00:50:54.100 I just don't think it works that way.
00:50:56.220 You can change yourself.
00:50:58.100 You can inform yourself and hopefully improve your relationship with your own son.
00:51:06.320 But I just don't think that things change like that, unfortunately.
00:51:09.680 It's not like-
00:51:10.880 It's not like-
00:51:13.880 I don't know what to say.
00:51:17.860 No.
00:51:18.320 No.
00:51:18.800 Not really.
00:51:19.640 Not with my dad.
00:51:20.640 Yeah.
00:51:21.080 I mean, I have a fine relationship with my dad.
00:51:22.880 You know, we all-
00:51:23.360 Yeah, I'm not throwing him under the bus or anything.
00:51:24.960 No, I do all the time.
00:51:26.120 He gets angry at me because he listens.
00:51:27.800 Oh, yeah.
00:51:28.120 My mom started listening.
00:51:29.280 Yeah.
00:51:30.020 Which is sweet in a way, but it's like-
00:51:31.600 Isn't it sweet in a way?
00:51:32.400 But it's like you got to just buckle up if you're going to listen because I'm just going
00:51:38.340 to talk about everything.
00:51:39.840 Yeah.
00:51:40.300 You're going to hear things you don't want to hear from, you know, how I wipe my ass.
00:51:45.320 Yeah.
00:51:45.920 You know, I recently started using a bidet and I had a lot of success with that.
00:51:49.160 Wow, really?
00:51:49.740 To sucking on, you know, trying to suck milk out of my wife's titties and even to saying,
00:51:54.500 you know, hey, I don't think you did that good job as a father.
00:51:57.320 Yeah.
00:51:57.940 So they got to be prepared for all that.
00:51:59.680 But I don't think it's prepared.
00:52:00.860 I don't think it's improved my relationship with my dad at all.
00:52:04.040 I think mostly it's just, I learned a lot about my relationship with my dad through therapy.
00:52:09.920 And that kind of stuff was very good, I think, with preparing me to be a father.
00:52:16.920 But-
00:52:17.220 Are you digging it?
00:52:18.940 Yeah, of course.
00:52:19.860 Yeah, of course.
00:52:20.760 You know, he's five months old.
00:52:22.760 But it's just, there's a lot of stuff.
00:52:25.220 There's a lot of great stuff.
00:52:26.640 And there's a lot of people prepare you for, I think people oversell it in this way.
00:52:35.300 They say, first of all, people go, when my child was born is the best day of my life.
00:52:42.740 That day sucks.
00:52:43.920 That's like fucking such an awful day.
00:52:46.980 You don't sleep.
00:52:47.800 Like, your wife is going under this incredible, dangerous procedure.
00:52:53.580 She's in incredible pain.
00:52:55.580 Then you have this crying little goblin that you have no, like in my, I mean, I'm a first
00:53:00.580 time father, so you don't know what you're doing.
00:53:04.160 This baby is, it can't even lift its fucking neck up, bro.
00:53:07.740 I fucking hate that kind of shit.
00:53:08.740 We had a guy like that on our basketball team when I was young.
00:53:10.700 Like, you don't hold his neck up and he breaks his fucking head, his head falls on the floor.
00:53:15.060 You're like, oh shit.
00:53:16.480 And you know, it's so stressful.
00:53:18.820 They're going to lift him up to do a layup in the middle of the game.
00:53:21.220 Yeah, that doesn't sound like a very, that sounds like a dysfunctional basketball team.
00:53:24.540 Yeah, this is bad.
00:53:25.940 But no, so that day is horrible.
00:53:27.480 That day gets...
00:53:28.040 It's such an awful day.
00:53:29.940 It's so, you know, and it is beautiful when the baby comes out.
00:53:32.920 Right.
00:53:33.080 But at the same time, there's a ton of people there.
00:53:35.900 It's kind of confusing because you don't know what to do.
00:53:38.600 You know, my eel is on the...
00:53:40.700 Ila's on the table.
00:53:41.740 She's getting sewn up because her asshole tore into her vagina.
00:53:45.120 You know, that happens pretty commonly.
00:53:47.800 And he was a big baby and his shoulders just tore her fucking vaginal.
00:53:51.280 Oh, what the fuck, bro?
00:53:51.540 And by the way...
00:53:52.100 Break his shoulders in there.
00:53:53.880 Well, they're real flexible.
00:53:55.940 I mean, and the crazy shit, dude.
00:53:57.780 I saw everything, by the way.
00:53:59.240 You think that like, oh, dad's just going to sit outside.
00:54:01.580 I was fucking holding her leg, bro.
00:54:03.260 Are you crazy?
00:54:03.860 I saw...
00:54:04.440 I didn't have a choice.
00:54:05.560 They threw me in there.
00:54:06.120 What are you fucking John Wayne Gacy, bro?
00:54:07.920 I didn't have a choice, bro.
00:54:09.160 You were holding her leg?
00:54:09.480 That's what they instructed me.
00:54:10.840 They said, dad, come grab her leg.
00:54:12.020 I'm saying, all right, let's get it.
00:54:13.220 Let's do it, you know?
00:54:14.260 Grab her.
00:54:14.560 I'm here to support my wife.
00:54:16.400 But it was crazy seeing...
00:54:17.740 I saw everything.
00:54:18.480 His head looked like a meatball coming out of her.
00:54:20.640 Because it was all discolored and lumpy and little hairs.
00:54:24.100 It looked like a meatball with pubes.
00:54:25.620 I swear to God.
00:54:26.420 Bro, the no joke, this story right here is better than the entire last movie of Halloween
00:54:30.140 that I saw.
00:54:31.340 Did you see that last one?
00:54:32.620 No.
00:54:33.200 I don't watch this stuff.
00:54:33.920 Really?
00:54:35.040 It wasn't even scary.
00:54:36.880 Really?
00:54:37.400 It was almost like an advertisement for Cutco Knives, dude.
00:54:40.120 It was the fucking worst horror movie I'd ever seen.
00:54:43.000 I don't like horror movies.
00:54:44.500 I skip them all the time.
00:54:45.200 Well, then watch that, dude.
00:54:46.300 It's nothing.
00:54:46.880 It's basically about...
00:54:47.440 It's kind of like a man window shopping for houses.
00:54:49.980 Well, yeah.
00:54:51.900 I mean, this...
00:54:53.440 I felt safe, but it was intense.
00:54:57.320 Her shit was...
00:54:58.960 And then, dude, the gnarliest thing is like...
00:55:01.220 So, the uterus...
00:55:02.720 Or not the uterus.
00:55:03.640 That stays in there.
00:55:04.980 The placenta.
00:55:06.780 The baby comes out.
00:55:07.420 You gotta sell that.
00:55:08.100 You can sell that to Joe Rogan, bro.
00:55:09.260 Bro, they want you to eat that shit.
00:55:10.580 I'm like, fuck that.
00:55:11.440 I'm not eating that.
00:55:12.240 What are you, insane?
00:55:12.920 I'm not a cannibal.
00:55:13.720 Oh, there's one of these fucking bitches from Montana Boulevard over something.
00:55:17.560 You know, trying to put it in a smoothie for you.
00:55:19.360 People kept trying to get me to eat it.
00:55:21.180 I'm like, first of all...
00:55:23.520 Wow.
00:55:24.800 Don't be that guy.
00:55:25.460 I'm taking down names of people who told me to eat it so I could not talk to them anymore.
00:55:29.780 But you should have seen it.
00:55:31.080 Because you cut the umbilical cord.
00:55:33.240 And then you got it.
00:55:34.640 And then you pull the fucking placenta out by the umbilical cord.
00:55:38.380 What the?
00:55:39.060 She has like a second birth.
00:55:40.480 The baby's out getting checked out by the doctors.
00:55:42.920 And then meanwhile, the nurse is pulling this placenta out.
00:55:46.540 And it looks like a liver.
00:55:47.680 It's just huge organ, bro.
00:55:49.380 And it's all...
00:55:50.120 You see it's all bloody.
00:55:51.620 And there's all these veins and shit in it, dude.
00:55:54.400 And they pull it out of that fucking bitch.
00:55:55.900 Is it crazy to see?
00:55:57.900 Do you ever look at your wife the same?
00:55:59.620 I mean, it must be...
00:56:00.380 What?
00:56:01.380 Yeah.
00:56:03.060 What, bro?
00:56:03.800 No way, dude.
00:56:05.040 No, she's better than...
00:56:06.100 She's awesome that she went through that.
00:56:06.880 No, I'm not saying she's not a great person.
00:56:08.580 But I'm just saying, dude, if somebody...
00:56:10.200 No, I didn't.
00:56:11.400 I genuinely think that it didn't.
00:56:15.400 It didn't.
00:56:16.400 No.
00:56:16.860 I mean, it was fucking crazy.
00:56:18.740 I saw more than she did.
00:56:19.880 Right.
00:56:20.220 She didn't see any of that.
00:56:21.080 And then the nurses are going on and on about like, oh, it's such a beautiful placenta.
00:56:28.760 It looked like a fucking raw liver, bro.
00:56:31.700 Got pulled out of her vagina.
00:56:33.040 That sounds like Antifa, dude.
00:56:34.460 That sounds fucking way too intense, bro.
00:56:37.000 And then there's this newborn baby I've never dealt with.
00:56:40.460 And the doctors are all checking him out and shit.
00:56:44.080 And then he's your responsibility.
00:56:45.900 It's scary.
00:56:46.300 And then they put you in the recovery room and you got to keep this baby alive for two
00:56:51.560 days.
00:56:52.040 And then they send your ass home and you got to keep the baby alive there.
00:56:55.000 Was it scary to leave the hospital?
00:56:56.460 That would seem scary to me.
00:56:57.720 Like, what do you mean?
00:56:58.580 I wanted to get out of the hospital.
00:57:00.200 The hospital was just awful.
00:57:02.440 I hated being there.
00:57:03.740 I wanted to get out of there.
00:57:05.380 When we got home, the first two months was just agony.
00:57:09.980 Because, well, I think we had a specifically hard time because he wasn't latching on.
00:57:16.020 He wasn't feeding.
00:57:16.680 He was latching on, but he wasn't feeding.
00:57:18.440 Fuck.
00:57:19.060 And, you know, breastfeeding is very painful for the female, too.
00:57:21.960 Is it really?
00:57:22.580 Yeah.
00:57:22.940 They say that breastfeeding is oftentimes even worse than the pregnancy.
00:57:27.960 That's something that people don't.
00:57:28.780 I can imagine.
00:57:29.520 I didn't think about that.
00:57:30.480 Just sucking hard and munching.
00:57:32.920 Munching on the titty.
00:57:34.040 You know what I mean?
00:57:35.100 Not just sucking, munching.
00:57:36.800 Yeah, very animalistic.
00:57:38.000 Yeah.
00:57:38.240 And he was just crying.
00:57:40.600 I mean, he was just crying, crying, crying, crying.
00:57:42.480 We're like, I don't think he's supposed to cry this much.
00:57:44.200 You know, he wasn't sleeping.
00:57:45.400 They're supposed to sleep like 18 hours a day.
00:57:46.920 He was sleeping like maybe five at most.
00:57:49.080 And he was just crying, crying, crying.
00:57:50.760 Gosh.
00:57:51.140 And there's a cigarette smoker.
00:57:53.200 It almost sounds like someone.
00:57:54.760 They don't sleep that much.
00:57:56.400 Cigarette smokers.
00:57:57.240 People don't think about that.
00:57:58.780 But anyway, I interrupted you.
00:58:03.220 Oh, is that the elevator?
00:58:04.340 Oh, you guys have elevator noise.
00:58:06.120 We didn't think about that.
00:58:06.900 Can they hear it?
00:58:09.320 Nope.
00:58:09.920 That's good.
00:58:10.860 Nope.
00:58:11.840 It's not a big deal.
00:58:12.900 I think it's kind of sexy.
00:58:13.980 Yeah.
00:58:14.660 I saw you guys had a sign, please don't use the elevator.
00:58:17.380 I thought that was funny.
00:58:17.840 Oh, yeah.
00:58:18.140 Nick loves that sign.
00:58:19.620 Is it up right now?
00:58:20.540 I think it's not at the moment because there's so much therapy upstairs.
00:58:24.200 I started to feel bad about it.
00:58:26.020 Oh, yeah.
00:58:27.600 So.
00:58:28.200 Yeah.
00:58:28.500 What can you do?
00:58:29.500 Yeah, one day we had to carry a lady in a wheelchair up the stairs.
00:58:32.440 Really?
00:58:32.700 Some lady out there.
00:58:34.260 Oh, you should have probably just let her take the elevator.
00:58:37.660 Sound quality, man.
00:58:39.440 That's fine.
00:58:40.220 Did the baby seem like.
00:58:41.720 Now, does it seem human at first or does it seem like an animal or like a pet at first?
00:58:46.140 And not in any way that you don't love the child.
00:58:48.000 I know that.
00:58:48.280 No, it's a little gremlin, bro.
00:58:50.260 Yeah.
00:58:51.080 It's a little troll.
00:58:53.920 Do you love it as much in the beginning as much as you're able to love it now, five or six months?
00:58:58.380 And that's another thing they don't tell you is that when this baby, it's a stranger.
00:59:02.520 You never met this baby.
00:59:03.700 You don't know each other.
00:59:04.940 Fuck that.
00:59:05.280 And so, no, that's the truth.
00:59:09.160 Your love grows for the child.
00:59:11.780 Right.
00:59:12.320 And it's not, you don't have an immediate connection.
00:59:16.740 And that's something that worried me as well.
00:59:19.080 That I was like, you know, I'm not really connecting with this baby at first.
00:59:23.360 I mean, that's different now.
00:59:24.720 Now he's five months old and he's smiling and he's laughing and it's the whole thing.
00:59:29.160 He's much different.
00:59:30.020 But at first, especially for the first two months, there's no, there's almost no recognition of you at all.
00:59:36.380 So, that's another thing that I think you don't expect that maybe people aren't honest about.
00:59:43.320 Because everybody, I think in retrospect, like when they're 20 years old or whatever, it's even five, six years old.
00:59:48.960 It's like, you just think you're all, you see all the happy, good times.
00:59:52.780 And you look back on that with, with the, not just rose colored glasses, but, but the dark pink.
01:00:02.820 What's more intense than rose?
01:00:05.780 Chiffon, maybe.
01:00:06.860 Chiffon, baby.
01:00:07.860 Chiffon colored glasses.
01:00:09.120 Is that something?
01:00:09.960 It sounds good.
01:00:11.100 Yeah.
01:00:11.500 Thanks.
01:00:12.240 It does.
01:00:13.400 But, you know, were you, it was tough.
01:00:16.200 Were you, was there a moment where you kind of started to feel grateful?
01:00:19.060 Like, okay, wow, I am starting to love like, yeah, there was a moment where I realized now he's, he's, he's like five months in a week.
01:00:28.420 And he's really been coming into his own for the past month or two.
01:00:34.020 And there's, there's like this moment every day when he first sees you and he's so happy to see you.
01:00:40.140 And do you know what I real, I had this weird realization that you think that, you know, your parents are meant to have unconditional love for you.
01:00:47.720 But, but what I realized as a parent is that this child has unconditional love for me right now.
01:00:55.280 And it was like a, it was very sobering realization that he, it's almost like I feel unworthy of that love.
01:01:05.580 He's just so happy to see me every time and happy to spend time with me that it's, it's, it's freaky.
01:01:14.300 Like, it's what, it's what he does for me and not the other way around.
01:01:18.860 And you have, I feel like I have, and it's not just with me either.
01:01:23.000 It's with everybody.
01:01:23.620 Like he's born so pure and loving that as a parent, you need to, you need to protect that.
01:01:30.560 Oh, that's interesting.
01:01:31.600 You need to, because the truth is, I think we're all born that way.
01:01:35.680 And only through our life experiences do we, does that change?
01:01:41.220 Yeah.
01:01:41.420 You know, there's a debate that are we born good or not?
01:01:45.280 And I think once you see a baby, there, I mean, it's obviously that we are all born good.
01:01:50.340 Wow.
01:01:50.940 And it's just through our life experiences that.
01:01:53.500 The dark arts.
01:01:54.640 That any of that changes.
01:01:55.940 So, you know, you have a responsibility and it's, it's so weird when you realize like.
01:02:03.780 That you're going to be the one to affect that.
01:02:05.660 Well, it's such a profound relationship, the father-son relationship, right?
01:02:09.820 Mm-hmm.
01:02:10.720 Let's get this Filipino again.
01:02:12.320 We got a beautiful Filipino man.
01:02:14.020 Mm-hmm.
01:02:14.300 There's a question for us.
01:02:16.080 Hey, Theo.
01:02:16.840 My name is Rezo.
01:02:18.200 I'm from North Carolina.
01:02:19.740 My question is mainly for Ethan.
01:02:21.580 My question is when you're battling darkness and depression and dark thoughts yourself, how do you go about having a better, brighter perspective for your child?
01:02:36.840 When you're dealing with negativity yourself, how do you aim for positivity with your child?
01:02:43.420 In the nick of time, that's what we call him right now.
01:02:46.180 Mm-hmm.
01:02:46.860 Thanks, Nick.
01:02:48.000 Well, I feel like, first of all, it's more like, how do you deal with it yourself?
01:02:54.520 You know, it's like you have to get your shit straight for yourself.
01:02:57.680 Right.
01:02:57.960 Before you.
01:02:58.480 You can't, you can't.
01:02:59.740 If you're feeling that way, you can't help it bleeding through to your kid, and he's going to see that, and he's going to learn from that.
01:03:04.840 He's going to take it.
01:03:05.940 So do you start to realize, yeah, you're like this weird filter?
01:03:09.540 Everything, bro.
01:03:10.220 He watches.
01:03:11.120 He learns.
01:03:11.900 He, everything, you know.
01:03:13.780 They take it in.
01:03:14.660 It changed them day by day.
01:03:16.460 You know what I mean?
01:03:17.120 Their little DNA, their building blocks are taking everything in, bro.
01:03:20.920 It's like Tetris.
01:03:21.340 And it's building a little human being.
01:03:23.200 And for me, you know, one of the fallacies that I had when I was depressed and anxious and really in the pit of despair, you have this feeling in your head.
01:03:31.500 You chase yourself in circles and circles and circles.
01:03:33.800 The truth is you can't talk yourself out of it.
01:03:35.660 You cannot change it.
01:03:36.840 You need something to slice through it.
01:03:38.780 Day by day, you just, you try to convince yourself.
01:03:41.840 You try to find different ways that you can feel better.
01:03:43.780 But for me, I found that it's all just, that's all part of it, dude.
01:03:48.340 That's not escaping it.
01:03:50.400 That's the trappings of it.
01:03:51.920 Right.
01:03:52.320 And for me, it's just, you know, therapy and medicine was what helped me get out of it because you can't, you just can't talk yourself out of it.
01:04:01.560 Are there moments now, I remember having a moment where I felt like for one of the first times I felt good about myself.
01:04:10.800 Did you have anything like that happen after you got on antidepressants?
01:04:14.020 And I'm not saying that antidepressants are the cure for these things.
01:04:17.140 I'm just saying that that moment for me happened when I got in a 12-step program.
01:04:21.200 That I remember having a day, one day, one moment I was walking and I was like, what is going on?
01:04:27.580 I said, oh wow, I feel, I feel okay.
01:04:34.840 Yeah.
01:04:35.620 I have had, I certainly have moments of clarity like that.
01:04:38.000 And it's almost fucking scary.
01:04:40.020 Yeah, that's the thing is like before, I used to have good days and then just the, the, the awareness that I had a good, having a good moment or a good day made me, ruined my day.
01:04:51.540 How crazy is that?
01:04:52.140 For real, it did.
01:04:52.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:55.700 For real, like it ruined it.
01:04:57.380 Bro, I can relate to that so much.
01:04:59.460 It's unbelievable.
01:05:00.340 But I think that that's, but I do have moments of clarity where I'm like, I think back to how bad I was.
01:05:07.620 Yeah.
01:05:08.020 And, uh, you know, I'm very thankful for that the, you know, it's a little better.
01:05:15.020 Yeah.
01:05:16.540 Um, let's get, let's throw another question.
01:05:18.320 I want to talk, what do you talk, what are you working on in therapy right now?
01:05:20.640 Like, what do you, I'm trying to think of.
01:05:25.020 I don't go to therapy anymore.
01:05:26.340 You don't.
01:05:26.600 I went for like three months or four months and I feel like I got, I, I made a lot of
01:05:31.280 progress.
01:05:31.760 I thought about a lot of stuff and I think there was just a month.
01:05:34.580 Well, first of all, it was super expensive and it was super far from my house.
01:05:37.220 So it was kind of a pain in the ass.
01:05:38.800 And I think it came to the point where I felt like it was more of a pain in the ass than
01:05:43.160 therapeutic.
01:05:44.080 Respect.
01:05:45.280 I had a moment the other day with my therapist yesterday, actually I was in there and I didn't
01:05:49.980 like the fact that she kept, sometimes she'll just tell me facts and shit.
01:05:54.660 And I don't, I don't learn really that way.
01:05:57.240 I learn more from feeling like for me, I really need to feel something to, especially
01:06:02.080 in therapy.
01:06:02.900 I need to have some feelings for it to really be of any value to me.
01:06:07.160 I don't care whenever they're talking about like, well, maybe the reason of this is that
01:06:11.260 it's like, I need to have the feeling.
01:06:13.840 I need to realize it myself.
01:06:15.420 I need to communicate it to myself almost with your help.
01:06:19.360 Right.
01:06:19.620 And I remember telling her, I said, you know, I don't like when you talk.
01:06:23.660 And it was kind of interesting because we started to get into this space where it's
01:06:28.860 like, she's like, that's fine.
01:06:31.640 You can tell me that sort of thing.
01:06:33.500 And this whole time I've had this thing in my head where I'm just like, I'm just trying
01:06:37.420 to be nice at the same time as also getting therapy.
01:06:40.940 But sometimes you can use your therapist to embody things that you don't like.
01:06:45.300 Like if they're doing something, you know, I didn't realize that.
01:06:47.920 I didn't realize I can say, you know, I don't like hearing you talk right now.
01:06:51.120 But, you know, yeah, I had a moment like that, too.
01:06:53.940 She's like, well, why?
01:06:54.940 And then I get to start to explain why.
01:06:56.520 And then I get to start to realize something that's bothering me.
01:06:59.740 And I'm actually then dealing with it instead of just like talking to my therapist.
01:07:04.740 Like, right.
01:07:05.240 Even you can you can even go.
01:07:08.760 That's right.
01:07:09.320 That's why at therapy you need to be like radically honest.
01:07:11.680 Yes.
01:07:12.300 And radically honest in a way that I didn't even know was being radically honest.
01:07:15.600 Like, yeah, I was like, you know what?
01:07:17.380 I fucking hate it when you start to tell me like, well, maybe this is, you know, and I
01:07:22.160 know that shit.
01:07:23.320 I fucking know that.
01:07:24.920 I know what's going on.
01:07:27.140 I just don't fucking feel good.
01:07:29.420 But it was finally like an opportunity when I started to get there.
01:07:32.320 I was like, oh, this is a new space for me to communicate.
01:07:36.820 Because one of my biggest problems really is communication.
01:07:38.780 I don't communicate clearly sometimes in the beginning.
01:07:41.520 And then I start to live in these worlds where I did communicate clearly, but I never
01:07:46.680 really did communicate.
01:07:48.060 Are you talking about with friends or lovers?
01:07:52.040 I think in all facets.
01:07:53.900 So then I start to build these weird resentments and things going on in my head when I just
01:07:57.640 didn't communicate clearly from the beginning.
01:08:01.760 But it's so hard for me to want to communicate clearly.
01:08:04.020 I don't know.
01:08:04.660 Then then I start to realize, OK, that's where I have like an issue.
01:08:07.100 You don't have the energy.
01:08:08.100 You don't have the will to like extra communicate.
01:08:12.260 I think I.
01:08:15.200 I think I just no one ever really taught it to me, so I think I could learn weird ways
01:08:18.980 to communicate, even when I probably why I ended up doing stand up.
01:08:22.300 I ended up needing to have this way to communicate with people to just feel like somebody hears
01:08:28.640 me, you know.
01:08:29.520 I don't know.
01:08:32.800 I think in a lot of it, I'm still learning about, but it just anyway, I just went on
01:08:37.120 that tangent because I, I just realized that for myself in therapy that I can also communicate
01:08:42.300 with my therapist about how I feel about them.
01:08:44.800 Yeah.
01:08:45.100 Because it's going to help us as a team learn about what's going on.
01:08:50.440 And I can even tell them, hey, don't take this personally.
01:08:52.620 I know that I'm, I know, you know that I care about you.
01:08:55.940 I know that I think you're a nice person, but I'm going to communicate this way to be
01:09:00.000 honest.
01:09:00.300 They like that.
01:09:00.660 I mean, good ones.
01:09:01.380 I can't imagine a therapist getting all like defensive.
01:09:04.420 Yeah, I couldn't either, but I always thought that they would.
01:09:06.300 No, yeah, because you don't want to be rude.
01:09:07.540 Right.
01:09:07.860 And you, then you have a weird thing where like, you like them and they, they, they know
01:09:13.840 you more than, they know what's going on through your head more than your closest, the people
01:09:18.300 closest to you in your life.
01:09:19.440 Yeah.
01:09:19.740 And you, you want them to think highly of you.
01:09:22.280 Yes.
01:09:22.840 Because they know you so well.
01:09:25.000 It's a weird thing.
01:09:26.620 You need like a therapist about your therapy.
01:09:28.300 We, there needs to be a book on how to go to therapy.
01:09:31.560 I agree.
01:09:32.420 It's, it's, cause there's, there's so much teaching for the therapist.
01:09:35.940 There's no teaching for the therapy, for the, you know, for the therapy or whatever the
01:09:41.260 guy comes in.
01:09:42.120 Here's my fucking dude right here.
01:09:43.400 This guy was, uh, when he, the quarterback from, um, that TV show, sugar hill gang or
01:09:50.760 something.
01:09:50.920 Where's the guy with the guy wheelchair market eight, the guy who got in the wheelchair and
01:09:54.940 they went to the city championship.
01:09:56.560 That's him with the, with the black guy that played Superman.
01:10:00.500 Yeah.
01:10:00.900 I haven't seen it.
01:10:01.400 Come on, dude.
01:10:02.120 You got a dude who played Superman.
01:10:03.540 There was a black Superman.
01:10:04.980 Friday night lights.
01:10:06.220 Oh, I thought it was called market eight.
01:10:08.020 I haven't heard it.
01:10:09.680 Market eight, dude.
01:10:10.680 That's what they always say.
01:10:12.080 What is this guy?
01:10:12.820 You know what I'm talking about?
01:10:14.020 Philip Allen or something.
01:10:15.140 The backup quarterback.
01:10:15.820 I read the book one time.
01:10:16.960 Oh, Jesus Christ, dude.
01:10:18.780 Sorry.
01:10:19.180 What's up?
01:10:19.660 My question is for Ethan.
01:10:21.020 Um, my wife and I are massive fans of H3 and the podcast and everything and the whole
01:10:25.300 channel, um, and have been for a long time.
01:10:27.520 My question is as a husband and now a new father, what does it feel like responsibility
01:10:32.680 wise to put your family out there for the internet?
01:10:34.880 And how has that impacted you of recent now?
01:10:37.720 Thanks.
01:10:38.020 Well, in certain ways it sucks because we're get swatted and there's a lot of people that
01:10:44.440 wish us ill will.
01:10:46.200 And, uh, we moved recently because we didn't feel safe at our last house where people were
01:10:51.520 calling the police and saying like serious people calling police and saying there's bodies
01:10:55.100 everywhere.
01:10:55.640 There's bombs everywhere.
01:10:56.960 Uh, there's hostages and the SWAT teams would pull up to our house and helicopters and they
01:11:03.280 would come with their guns drawn.
01:11:05.020 And I felt serious.
01:11:06.080 Yes.
01:11:06.220 And I felt very unsafe.
01:11:09.400 I felt very unsafe about it.
01:11:11.100 And so we moved to a new house and a gated community, which is nice.
01:11:14.560 I feel better there, but, um, it sucks being a public figure in that regard because there's
01:11:21.960 always a little bit of uncertainty because there's just so many crazy fucking people out
01:11:26.080 there.
01:11:26.800 And there's, I don't know, there's people that dislike me on the internet for one reason
01:11:31.360 or the other.
01:11:31.900 And, um, I wish I could erase that, you know, I didn't know if I would like you probably
01:11:38.920 when I met you, man.
01:11:39.740 I, but I realized I really did like you, you know, I wonder what that is though.
01:11:43.160 I wonder, I mean, and I don't mean that any bad way.
01:11:44.720 I mean it in almost in a way to explore, you know, like, um, I guess I just thought we might
01:11:49.940 be so different, you know, but then I realized that's true.
01:11:54.520 Yeah.
01:11:54.960 And I was kind of like, oh, we're, we're really not very, very different.
01:11:57.920 I know.
01:11:58.360 I don't know why, but I, I had a feeling like, uh, I was, I was friends with a lot of your,
01:12:04.480 your contemporaries, the comedians.
01:12:06.940 And I knew I wanted to meet you, but I don't know why.
01:12:09.100 Like when I saw you at the comedy club, I really wanted to, uh, to meet you and I'm glad,
01:12:13.640 I'm glad that you said hello.
01:12:15.380 Yeah.
01:12:16.060 That was cool.
01:12:17.200 Yeah, man.
01:12:17.860 But I don't know why.
01:12:18.840 I don't know what it was, but your set was amazing.
01:12:22.300 Funny, dude.
01:12:22.900 Thanks.
01:12:23.560 I appreciate that, man.
01:12:24.620 Yeah.
01:12:25.280 Yeah.
01:12:25.600 It's been a fun, uh, that job's been fun.
01:12:29.020 It's been good to me.
01:12:30.040 But what, what is it that you think you wouldn't like about me?
01:12:32.500 No, I don't know.
01:12:33.360 I think, I think I feel like, I don't know.
01:12:36.380 Sometimes I feel like certain people just judge, would just judge me for some reason, you know?
01:12:42.680 But then I realized that I, I don't know.
01:12:45.460 Let me think about it.
01:12:46.020 I am judgmental.
01:12:47.100 I'm kind of known for that.
01:12:48.200 Well, I think it's also probably because I know, because I'm judgmental.
01:12:51.280 And so then I always, from one dick to another.
01:12:54.220 Right.
01:12:54.560 Yeah.
01:12:54.740 So I know that.
01:12:55.440 So then my biggest fear is always that other people are going to be, you know, it's funny.
01:12:58.700 I, I always think this to myself.
01:13:00.060 If I met myself, I think I would have liked myself.
01:13:03.340 Wow.
01:13:03.500 Maybe, maybe that's less true now, but back in the, back when I was like really, uh, in
01:13:08.500 a dark place, I used to be sure that if I was outside myself and met myself, I'd fucking
01:13:13.900 hate myself.
01:13:15.640 Yeah.
01:13:17.100 Sometimes I felt like that earlier this year, I had a real bad, I had a bad spot this year
01:13:20.680 for a couple months.
01:13:21.520 Um, and it's still a bit, this whole year has been really tough for me, but I hit a
01:13:26.880 bad spot early this year where I was fucking just a nightmare and I hated it.
01:13:30.340 It was the same thing.
01:13:31.020 Like, you know, sometimes it just flares up and it's just like, I don't know.
01:13:34.780 I have some anger and it just won't, I just can't get, I almost want to fucking exorcism
01:13:40.380 or something, you know?
01:13:41.960 I wish it was that easy.
01:13:43.600 Praise God.
01:13:43.900 I wish I was fucking possessed.
01:13:46.340 Yeah.
01:13:46.760 At least I could explain it, you know?
01:13:48.780 Dude, think about back in the old days, if you'd be an asshole, you're like, oh, sorry,
01:13:52.720 fucking.
01:13:53.120 Just ghosting me.
01:13:54.300 Yeah.
01:13:54.780 Caught a bad demon on the stagecoach.
01:13:57.160 Yeah.
01:13:57.700 Man, they just take a little blood, call it a day.
01:13:59.920 Yeah.
01:14:01.000 Oh, let's get a question right here and this guy right here, definitely.
01:14:04.320 Conor McGregor, I think?
01:14:05.420 Yep.
01:14:06.680 Proper 12.
01:14:07.260 What's happening, guys?
01:14:07.920 This is Shane here in Australia.
01:14:09.520 I actually met you in Sydney, Theo, at the Enmore show that you did.
01:14:14.220 That was great.
01:14:14.860 This question is aimed more at Ethan, whoever, who might recognize me from this tattoo, which
01:14:23.220 he was self-interested in reviews.
01:14:24.440 Oh, you made that?
01:14:24.460 That's awesome.
01:14:25.120 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:14:25.800 I know the Fake Nation video is probably a crowd favorite, but I was just wondering,
01:14:28.940 what is your own favorite video that you've made on the old H3H3 channel?
01:14:32.620 Thank you.
01:14:33.360 Gang Gang, Papa Bless.
01:14:34.900 Oh, he's got all the slogans.
01:14:36.940 Gang, bro.
01:14:37.480 Gang Bless.
01:14:38.580 Yeah, Gang Bless, bro.
01:14:40.520 That's our new podcast, Gang Bless.
01:14:42.180 I've seen that tattoo so many times, it's Rick and Morty, Rick Sanchez doing Vape Nation.
01:14:47.500 I just met with, no, I didn't meet with that studio today.
01:14:50.380 I met with a different studio.
01:14:51.240 Bento Box, I met with some of those guys.
01:14:53.060 But let's focus on this guy, man.
01:14:54.420 Thank you for coming out to the show there.
01:14:57.000 My favorite vid, well, Vape Nation is such, I think Vape Nation is definitely one of my
01:15:00.860 faves.
01:15:01.600 That thing was like such a, it was such a, it was like the vape gods blessed me because
01:15:07.560 me and Eli just walked out with no plan at all.
01:15:09.980 Wow.
01:15:10.520 I had an outfit and a vape and a dream.
01:15:13.780 And the gods were gracious because like I had all these incredible interactions.
01:15:18.580 Like we went to the vape store and the guys were amazing.
01:15:21.360 We went, we were walking down the street and the news was live, which is something that
01:15:25.520 I had never seen before.
01:15:26.780 Yes, that was a great, that's a great scene I remember.
01:15:27.740 The news was fucking live and we were vaping and the guy reacted to me.
01:15:31.180 Yes, he engaged.
01:15:32.220 The odds are most they never engaged.
01:15:33.220 It's crazy.
01:15:34.200 And like, I mean, everything was going on.
01:15:36.620 We were in Central Park and I was yelling at the police and they interacted with me.
01:15:40.300 We went down to Central Park and a cop let me sit in his fucking car and vape.
01:15:44.400 I mean, it was all just, the vape gods were on my side, dude, you know?
01:15:49.980 Everything was beautiful about that video.
01:15:52.000 But another one, I'd say, another favorite, I don't know, I did this video called 90s Boy
01:15:58.500 Band where I was making fun of these frosted tip, deep tanned boy bands.
01:16:03.440 Oh yeah.
01:16:04.020 And we just went on a whole adventure through New York City where I got this fake tan and
01:16:08.600 frosted my tips.
01:16:10.640 And I was on the subway applying tan.
01:16:12.880 It stinks so bad, by the way.
01:16:14.400 That tan, yeah.
01:16:15.160 You can get some that smells a little not as bad, but.
01:16:19.200 I was amazed by how foul it was smelling.
01:16:21.480 And at a petting zoo, you know, if you wear too much bronzer, they won't let you in certain
01:16:24.240 petting zoos, too.
01:16:25.660 Why is that?
01:16:26.380 It just, the animals have a bad reaction to it.
01:16:28.620 They stop you?
01:16:29.460 And do they have like a Pantone?
01:16:31.260 They check your tan levels?
01:16:34.320 Man, I wouldn't have been allowed in there for sure.
01:16:37.780 Yeah.
01:16:38.160 But that was fun.
01:16:39.020 That was a really fun video.
01:16:40.280 Yeah.
01:16:40.620 But Vape Nation, I mean, even for myself, it's like, it is.
01:16:44.980 Yeah, dude.
01:16:45.640 It's beyond me.
01:16:46.640 It's funnier than I, thank you, Vape Nation.
01:16:48.520 Yeah.
01:16:49.460 But dude, I had a moment where you were talking about that.
01:16:53.060 It's interesting how sometimes with creativity.
01:16:56.380 If you just take the, like you said, you had your girl or you, you know, who was your partner
01:17:00.800 in crime.
01:17:01.460 You had a camera.
01:17:02.860 You had a little bit of an idea.
01:17:04.600 And then you went.
01:17:05.840 And sometimes that's so much better than all the planning in the world.
01:17:10.040 It is.
01:17:10.420 And sometimes, and most of the times, it's way worse.
01:17:12.980 That's the problem.
01:17:13.760 So that's the problem I ran into is because I kept trying to re-bottle that lightning.
01:17:18.760 Ah.
01:17:19.240 And it was always okay.
01:17:20.560 But ultimately, it's just, it's tricky because sometimes it's way better, but most of the
01:17:27.960 time it's worse.
01:17:28.820 So it gets, the process gets frustrating.
01:17:31.180 And ultimately, I think you learned that you need to be more structured.
01:17:34.480 You need more structure.
01:17:35.320 Yeah.
01:17:36.400 Yeah.
01:17:37.620 Oh, it's interesting because sometimes it's like if something doesn't happen for the first
01:17:41.080 time, if it's not exactly new, which is one of the reasons why I think I like laughter
01:17:46.880 is because it's such a, you didn't know it was coming and it's going to be gone.
01:17:53.520 And it's just, there's no denying that it's-
01:17:58.140 You can't hide the emotion.
01:17:59.500 Right.
01:18:00.400 You can't hide the emotion.
01:18:01.820 There's no denying that it occurred and that it was a, it's almost like the Big Bang Theory
01:18:07.100 of communication.
01:18:08.700 You know, it's like-
01:18:09.840 You know, the first thing my son learned to do was laugh and smile.
01:18:12.840 Isn't that a trip?
01:18:14.440 It's crazy, huh?
01:18:15.380 It's the first thing they learn to communicate is laughter.
01:18:20.400 That's interesting.
01:18:21.040 It's like the most deepest, the deepest, most primal feeling we have, communicating feeling
01:18:31.660 we have is like laughter.
01:18:34.080 Well, obviously he cries first, lots of crying, but ultimately-
01:18:37.120 We weren't feeding him.
01:18:37.980 Yeah.
01:18:39.280 But ultimately-
01:18:40.820 He was going to feed me for two weeks.
01:18:41.840 But ultimately beyond that, it's laughter.
01:18:45.420 His feeding window was closed.
01:18:47.260 Yeah, his feeding window was closed when it needed to be open big time.
01:18:50.120 His feeding window was always open, man.
01:18:52.640 He gained a lot of weight though now.
01:18:54.100 He's a big, he's a little fupa-chino.
01:18:56.100 Oh, that's cool.
01:18:57.220 Yeah, he's good.
01:18:57.940 He's fat.
01:18:58.700 I mean, he's chunky in a good way.
01:19:00.160 There's something beautiful about, right around six months when kids, you can still kind
01:19:03.500 of hold them and they'll be really kind of chill sometimes, but they're just getting
01:19:06.720 so alive that it's like, man, there's something real beautiful about that age.
01:19:11.100 Did I answer a question?
01:19:12.020 John Stamos has a question here too.
01:19:13.740 Did we answer that other question?
01:19:15.260 Yeah.
01:19:16.340 It was about your favorite video.
01:19:18.780 And good day, brother.
01:19:19.480 I'm trying to get over there to Australia, maybe with another comedian.
01:19:21.720 We're trying to partner up and package and come back over there.
01:19:24.420 Nice.
01:19:27.340 This is John Stamos' son.
01:19:28.740 Ethan, man, just wanted to know if you ever plan on making any more videos on your main
01:19:35.820 channel or if you're just focused on the podcast now, because we miss the main channel videos
01:19:41.220 too.
01:19:42.720 So anyway, gang gang, Papa bless.
01:19:45.320 Thank you, dude.
01:19:45.920 I appreciate that.
01:19:46.720 Gang bless, dude.
01:19:47.580 That's going to be the new show.
01:19:48.520 You know what it is, bro?
01:19:49.560 Yeah.
01:19:50.080 Gang bless.
01:19:50.620 That was a recurring question.
01:19:52.000 We probably had that about 10 times.
01:19:54.640 Yeah.
01:19:55.040 That's a tough one to answer.
01:19:57.600 You know, the truth is, by the way, it's nice that everyone likes me.
01:20:00.480 I have a feeling that most people hate me.
01:20:02.380 Really?
01:20:02.780 I do.
01:20:03.500 And I'm so refreshed when people are nice to me and care about me.
01:20:06.420 You know what reminds me that I think you're a neat person is that you are your ability
01:20:13.860 to, that I just feel you're transparent.
01:20:17.700 Your transparency reminds me, it's just such a, it's such a nice quality I feel like you have.
01:20:23.620 Oh, thank you.
01:20:24.460 That I think it's just like, oh, immediately I know at least I'm, I'm going to be able
01:20:28.160 to be very real with this person.
01:20:30.020 And there's something that's very comfortable about that, I think, for people because we
01:20:34.260 don't get that very much.
01:20:35.980 I think for me, I found it like, I just think it's real healthy.
01:20:40.580 You don't want to, like, that, that could make you, I mean, that makes me feel real
01:20:43.960 bad at one point that's like, oh, I'm assuming that everyone out there hates me.
01:20:47.660 But at the same time, it's nice to be able to say that, you know, it alleviates the
01:20:52.660 pressure.
01:20:53.820 To be able to say what?
01:20:54.940 That, that I think everyone hates me.
01:20:56.640 Oh, I see.
01:20:57.000 Something like that.
01:20:57.740 Right.
01:20:58.440 You know, instead of holding that on, it feels real serious if you hold on to something like
01:21:01.680 that.
01:21:03.180 Yeah, yeah.
01:21:03.680 To get it out?
01:21:04.380 That's a good point.
01:21:05.060 Yeah.
01:21:05.360 Yeah.
01:21:05.720 So many things we don't realize that we have to get it out, though.
01:21:08.000 You got to get it out.
01:21:09.000 I try to get as much out as I can.
01:21:11.020 Yeah.
01:21:11.200 Even little things, little resentments we have against people, that shit fucking hides and turns
01:21:15.040 in an episode of Dateline.
01:21:16.220 It's bad.
01:21:17.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:21:18.520 When did Dateline turn into just, was it always just murders and shit?
01:21:22.280 Well, the two most watched shows in the entire world, Joe Rogan, Dateline.
01:21:26.660 Is Dateline that popular?
01:21:28.040 Oh, I believe that there's, I believe the two most consumed shows in the entire world,
01:21:32.200 and I believe this wholeheartedly, are Joe Rogan and Dateline.
01:21:34.640 I've tried watching Dateline a couple of times, but it kind of just feels like a poor man's
01:21:39.140 Netflix series.
01:21:41.200 Yeah, definitely.
01:21:42.340 You know what I mean?
01:21:43.280 Oh, yeah.
01:21:43.560 I was raised on it.
01:21:44.740 Bro, my mother, the first show we watched together was America's Most Wanted.
01:21:49.280 That show was badass, though.
01:21:50.120 And she made me hold her hand when the parts got scary, and I was so fucking scared.
01:21:55.140 Oh, shit.
01:21:56.340 How old were you?
01:21:57.280 You need a comforting.
01:21:58.020 I don't know, bro.
01:21:59.140 Seven, maybe?
01:22:00.720 Dude, that show was badass when I was a kid, though.
01:22:02.700 That was real shit.
01:22:03.500 They were catching criminals.
01:22:04.840 Fuck, yeah.
01:22:05.920 That was scary as fuck.
01:22:06.960 Those guys scared the shit out of me, all those criminals.
01:22:10.560 Man, my main channel.
01:22:11.780 Here's the thing.
01:22:12.340 I feel like I'm in a new phase of my life.
01:22:15.200 I feel like at a certain point, those videos were exciting.
01:22:19.160 They were fun.
01:22:20.120 They were great to do.
01:22:23.300 It was fulfilling me in every way.
01:22:25.460 But I feel like, not just on YouTube, but in myself personally, that those videos don't.
01:22:32.280 They don't fulfill me anymore.
01:22:35.240 I find them to be, I force them out.
01:22:38.640 I have to pull my own teeth to get the work done.
01:22:44.200 And although I know people like it, and frankly, I like it, too.
01:22:47.800 The final product is always fun to look at.
01:22:50.180 But I just find that maybe that part of my life is behind me.
01:22:57.300 That being said, I still have a studio in my house that's ready to go if I ever feel the need to make one of those videos.
01:23:03.560 And it could happen.
01:23:04.480 Yeah, I like the idea of just making one off when I'm real inspired to do it.
01:23:08.600 When something comes up, then I'm like, I need to make a video about that.
01:23:11.560 But I just feel like, you know, I was doing that for a long time, man.
01:23:16.440 And I think it's time to just open a new chapter and just be there.
01:23:21.540 Because a lot of times, I've been doing the podcast for a while now.
01:23:23.940 And I feel like just now, recently, since Theodore was born, that I really feel like I'm doing the podcast.
01:23:32.220 You know, I was doing it, but now I'm really doing it.
01:23:34.960 Yeah.
01:23:35.960 And I like that.
01:23:38.340 I like that it's a new challenge.
01:23:39.880 I like that it's testing new skills.
01:23:41.580 I like that I'm working with other people, that it's collaborative, where if I'm making a video, it's all on my shoulders.
01:23:47.140 And I feel like I had a lot of resentment and frustration from that.
01:23:49.920 You know, it's like, it's also my fucking job.
01:23:55.500 Like, nobody can help me do this.
01:23:59.020 I like collaborating with people.
01:24:00.740 You do?
01:24:01.400 And in the case of the podcast, at first it was very difficult for me.
01:24:05.580 But I found that it's been fantastic.
01:24:08.760 Like, we have three cast members that are back there.
01:24:12.380 And they've become a big part of the show.
01:24:14.320 Oh, that's cool.
01:24:14.520 And I think that it's, I think it's great.
01:24:17.200 I think it's a really fun dynamic.
01:24:19.000 Like, it's fun.
01:24:19.720 It's exciting.
01:24:20.740 It's a new experience.
01:24:22.180 It's testing new skills and myself.
01:24:24.260 And I think I'm following that feeling that there's something else out there for me to do now.
01:24:30.420 Yeah, it's interesting, man.
01:24:32.200 Hearing you say that, it makes me think, like, so many times we often, so many times it's hard to move on.
01:24:40.660 It's hard to, like, I'm really struggling recently.
01:24:44.400 Just, you know, I don't want to grow up.
01:24:45.860 I just don't want to.
01:24:47.940 It's like, it's something.
01:24:48.380 What does growing up mean to you?
01:24:50.280 I think it means, like, just, like, letting go of your freedom, letting go of, I think I've always revolved in such this kid space in myself that I don't really know how I am as an adult.
01:25:05.720 And that's very scary to me.
01:25:09.300 Like, I'm good.
01:25:10.380 I do well as a kid.
01:25:12.580 Like, I was a kid.
01:25:13.560 It wasn't the most fun a lot of times, but I fucking did a good job of it.
01:25:16.800 Do you have, like, positive adult role models in your life?
01:25:23.240 Ooh, I don't know.
01:25:24.480 I mean, I have Brendan from King and the Sting, but so probably not, really.
01:25:27.720 He's not.
01:25:28.220 I mean, he's your...
01:25:29.300 He's a good dad.
01:25:30.420 But he's your contemporary.
01:25:31.600 Yeah, he's a buddy.
01:25:32.460 I mean, as a kid looking up to an adult, did you have any positive adult role models?
01:25:36.900 No, probably not, dude.
01:25:38.440 Me neither.
01:25:39.120 And I think that I went through the same thing, is that I think a lot of the anxiety and pressure I was feeling, too, was kind of a...
01:25:46.800 In a sense, not wanting to grow up.
01:25:51.140 And I think the problem is that you never saw an adult who was content and happy, and you thought, hey, that's cool.
01:25:59.700 That's a good thing.
01:26:00.420 That's something I want to be.
01:26:01.360 That's something I want to do, is aging gracefully and becoming more mature and paying fucking bills and having a kid.
01:26:08.080 You know what I mean?
01:26:09.320 All the things that...
01:26:10.200 But for me, that was all scary shit that I associated with negative things.
01:26:17.600 But it's, you know...
01:26:19.520 But yeah, I think at some point, yeah, what you're saying is that, yeah, getting to a place and then embracing it.
01:26:24.940 Right.
01:26:25.300 Instead of living on both sides of the fence and stuff.
01:26:27.680 You can't...
01:26:27.940 You know, it's inevitable, right?
01:26:29.280 So...
01:26:29.520 Right.
01:26:30.580 Yeah, and also, though, I think some of it is, too.
01:26:32.400 It's like, it's fun to, like, still be young while I can.
01:26:36.220 You know?
01:26:36.600 Sure.
01:26:36.900 Young enough.
01:26:37.680 And you can.
01:26:38.340 And some things I can't do.
01:26:39.860 Like, I can't...
01:26:40.460 You know, you can't date some of these young girls.
01:26:42.080 You have to go out and pretend like you never fucking, like, heard some movies.
01:26:46.160 Like, you can't even mention any movies you like because they never heard of them.
01:26:51.800 And it's so fucking scary, dude.
01:26:53.980 Interesting.
01:26:54.260 You mean, like, old movies or new...
01:26:55.800 What do you...
01:26:56.160 What kind of movies?
01:26:56.540 Old movies.
01:26:56.980 Yeah.
01:26:57.320 And you feel old.
01:26:58.340 Oh, that...
01:26:58.800 Even when I'm in a conversation, if there's, like, a young...
01:27:00.640 You know, like, not a young girl, but I mean a young woman.
01:27:02.420 I know what you mean, yeah.
01:27:03.460 I know what you mean.
01:27:03.960 You're like, fuck, dude.
01:27:05.300 I am an adult now.
01:27:06.980 Yeah.
01:27:07.620 It's happening, and I need to get on board with it.
01:27:09.620 How old are you?
01:27:10.300 I'm 39, man.
01:27:11.260 I'm an adult.
01:27:11.700 You look youthful.
01:27:12.680 Oh, thanks, man.
01:27:13.560 Yeah, you look youthful.
01:27:14.820 Thanks, man.
01:27:15.100 You look younger than the last time I saw you.
01:27:16.360 Maybe it's the haircut, or maybe it's the pills, you know?
01:27:18.400 But you definitely look younger.
01:27:20.400 I don't know what...
01:27:21.140 I always look older than I am.
01:27:22.900 Really?
01:27:23.080 I always...
01:27:23.400 People assume I'm, like, 50.
01:27:24.680 Oh, dang.
01:27:25.340 That's funny.
01:27:25.500 Which is...
01:27:25.900 I don't know if that's good or bad, but...
01:27:27.380 I think for you, it's kind of funny.
01:27:28.760 I'm gonna live till I'm 100, but I'll die when I'm 60.
01:27:31.380 Yeah.
01:27:31.640 You know what I mean?
01:27:33.320 Yeah, you're, like, in a weird type of dog years.
01:27:35.960 People think I'm, like, some weird lecher on Hila, like, I'm some dude who dates outside
01:27:39.780 his age by, like, a decade.
01:27:41.880 But I'm like, nah, dude.
01:27:43.140 We're two years apart.
01:27:45.500 But what were we talking about?
01:27:46.700 I think...
01:27:47.900 I agree.
01:27:50.080 It's hard to move on.
01:27:50.880 And I think that maybe one of my strengths, maybe, is just knowing when it's time to move
01:28:00.960 on.
01:28:01.720 Certain points in my life where I've just...
01:28:03.700 You know, it's tough, and especially the fans are resistant, too, and they make you
01:28:07.900 question your own decision to move on.
01:28:10.160 But ultimately, you know, ultimately, you'll know before they will.
01:28:15.160 And so it's tough on you.
01:28:16.660 It's tough on them.
01:28:17.520 And it's tough on you because they don't want you to move on.
01:28:19.800 But you know, for yourself, you have to move on.
01:28:23.420 And they, and, you know, they don't know that.
01:28:27.180 They don't know what you feel.
01:28:28.200 They just want more of the same.
01:28:29.740 But the truth is, these people will get tired of the same shit, too.
01:28:33.040 Yeah.
01:28:33.180 And then they'll eventually leave.
01:28:35.460 And you're just stuck in a rut doing the same stupid fucking song and dance you've been
01:28:39.220 doing for a decade.
01:28:40.560 And nobody's happy anymore.
01:28:42.880 You, most importantly, aren't.
01:28:45.000 And the fans don't care.
01:28:46.380 They don't, they say, oh, he's fucking stale.
01:28:48.620 Right?
01:28:48.940 Yeah, there's, you have to, yeah, there's a, there's a gracious time to, to, to, to evolve.
01:28:54.520 Right.
01:28:54.880 You know?
01:28:55.440 Like a worm is only a worm, you know, and finally, like, fuck y'all.
01:28:58.560 And people are like, oh, this fucking war, you're going to quit being a worm, dude?
01:29:01.440 You're out of your mind.
01:29:02.220 This is the best fucking gig in town, dude.
01:29:04.160 Yeah, we eat earth, it's moist out here.
01:29:06.700 Yeah, we eat earth, bro.
01:29:06.720 It's moist as fuck, dude.
01:29:08.620 There's a rain coming tomorrow.
01:29:10.360 And he's like, oh, yeah, fuck y'all, bro.
01:29:12.340 And then he flies by six months later.
01:29:14.120 You got to leave, you got to leave when it's good.
01:29:15.200 Yeah.
01:29:16.140 You got to leave when it's good.
01:29:17.620 Let's leave into one more question that's come in.
01:29:19.480 What do we got, Nick, from Frank Castillo?
01:29:21.040 It looked like something came in.
01:29:23.360 What up, Theo?
01:29:24.260 What up, Ethan?
01:29:25.040 This is Preston coming to you from Frankford, Kentucky.
01:29:27.740 I got a quick question for the Vape Nation God over there.
01:29:30.940 You know, so far, I don't know how many months into it, but you've,
01:29:33.960 you're a few months into being a dad.
01:29:35.780 What do you think's been the most rewarding part about being a dad?
01:29:39.180 And what do you look forward to the most is a little Fupa Junior gets older
01:29:42.820 and starts Fupa-ing around, man.
01:29:44.080 Yeah, baby.
01:29:44.900 Let me know what y'all think.
01:29:46.040 Can't wait to hear from y'all.
01:29:47.520 Love both y'all, man.
01:29:48.540 Y'all make the week so much smoother.
01:29:50.300 So let me know what y'all think, man.
01:29:52.180 I love his action.
01:29:53.320 Vape Nation, y'all.
01:29:54.480 Yeah, baby.
01:29:55.460 I love the y'alls.
01:29:56.460 He's dropping y'alls like molasses.
01:29:58.440 From Frankford, Kentucky, man.
01:30:00.160 Thank you.
01:30:00.700 Spencer was his name, I think?
01:30:02.080 Yeah.
01:30:03.100 Thank you, dude.
01:30:03.780 Bicer, maybe?
01:30:05.120 Preston.
01:30:05.900 Preston, sorry.
01:30:07.300 Preston, the other Spencer.
01:30:09.160 And first of all, I never would have guessed he was a Preston.
01:30:11.780 Would you have?
01:30:13.400 Probably not.
01:30:14.280 Yeah.
01:30:15.140 He's more like a...
01:30:16.720 I would have guessed this man was a Romero, maybe?
01:30:19.920 Look at him.
01:30:20.380 There he is right there.
01:30:20.940 Beautiful young fella.
01:30:22.800 He's got hair on his face, on the bottom of his face.
01:30:25.240 Beard.
01:30:26.020 I don't know what his name is, honestly.
01:30:27.420 Romel?
01:30:27.860 I could see him as a Romel.
01:30:29.200 Romel?
01:30:29.760 Mm-hmm.
01:30:30.500 I could see him as a karate instructor as well.
01:30:31.780 I'm with you.
01:30:32.280 But thank you very much, Preston.
01:30:35.400 Another person who apparently likes me, so that's nice.
01:30:37.520 Did you get any that hated me?
01:30:39.040 No.
01:30:39.480 There were a ton that loved you.
01:30:42.620 So many inside jokes, people, that they weren't really questions.
01:30:45.620 They were just like...
01:30:46.280 People farting into the mic.
01:30:47.400 But people were huge fans.
01:30:50.180 We probably got over 100 questions.
01:30:52.400 Wow.
01:30:52.600 That's nice.
01:30:53.180 Thank you to everyone who did that.
01:30:54.980 I appreciate that.
01:30:56.960 The best thing about having Theodore right now is he's just got this beautiful smile.
01:31:02.980 When he's just expressing joy, it's a beautiful thing.
01:31:06.140 I can't wait to talk to him.
01:31:07.740 I can't wait for him to be able to sit up on his own, to walk.
01:31:10.860 I can't wait to communicate with him.
01:31:12.880 That's so exciting to me, to be able to know what he's thinking and what's going on in there,
01:31:16.700 because he's a little person who's marinating inside of there, and I can't wait to know who he is.
01:31:25.060 It's like a piñata almost, kind of.
01:31:28.180 Right.
01:31:28.880 I don't hit him with the stick, and there's not candies inside.
01:31:31.840 I don't want to kill him.
01:31:33.320 No.
01:31:33.560 Never mind.
01:31:34.200 It's not like a piñata.
01:31:35.240 But in other ways, he is, I do want to hang him from a tree.
01:31:41.140 No, I don't want to do that.
01:31:42.460 I'm not sure in what ways he's like a piñata.
01:31:45.900 Yeah, I don't know, man.
01:31:47.020 He's colorful and sweet inside.
01:31:49.580 Yeah, there he is.
01:31:50.720 There you go.
01:31:51.740 Nick of time right there.
01:31:54.500 I can't wait to do stuff, because right now he's still very young.
01:31:58.360 Yeah, he can't do anything.
01:31:59.280 Very young.
01:31:59.820 He can't even fucking walk.
01:32:00.600 He can't really tell you that much.
01:32:02.200 No, but I'm excited to take him places to do stuff.
01:32:05.980 It's going to be fun, you know?
01:32:07.600 Tell him about life.
01:32:09.040 Tell him dad shit.
01:32:10.160 Teach him about pussy, probably, or something.
01:32:12.460 Or wiener.
01:32:13.980 In the future, he goes, what the one?
01:32:15.340 Yeah.
01:32:16.920 That talk, I hope it doesn't come for a while.
01:32:19.000 I'm not looking forward to talking to him about pussy.
01:32:22.160 Yeah, dude.
01:32:22.520 But that day will come, I'm sure.
01:32:24.980 Well, you want to give him the talk right now?
01:32:26.580 You and I can give it to him together.
01:32:27.620 If this is your dad from the past.
01:32:29.980 Yeah.
01:32:30.120 Well, Theodore.
01:32:32.180 Theodore, there'll be a time where...
01:32:34.040 And I'm just your dad's friend.
01:32:37.500 There'll be a time where you'll have to explain to your partner why your penis is so small.
01:32:43.700 And just know that's my fault.
01:32:47.160 The micropenis is my fault, son.
01:32:49.300 But also, let him know that losing their virginity doesn't count if it's a micropenis.
01:32:55.740 Right, that doesn't count.
01:32:56.860 You've got to fist someone to count for that.
01:32:58.600 Yeah, you've got to go elbow deep to lose your virginity.
01:33:00.940 Oh, damn, dude.
01:33:02.000 You're talking about noodling, bro.
01:33:03.760 Yeah.
01:33:04.240 That'll be an Olympic sport by then.
01:33:06.960 Nick, anything else pertinent that you wanted to hit?
01:33:09.240 I was a little curious if you're worried about him growing up.
01:33:13.660 How much do you know about the internet?
01:33:15.480 And then as he gets older, discovering stuff on his own?
01:33:19.640 About me or just on the internet?
01:33:21.080 No, just on the internet.
01:33:22.540 Dude, the internet's fucking terrifying.
01:33:24.100 I don't know how these young kids, because me and you, we grew up, the first time I saw a smartphone, I was in college.
01:33:29.820 Yeah, the first time I saw it.
01:33:30.900 Yeah, a smartphone.
01:33:31.540 Definitely the first time I had a cell phone, I was 20.
01:33:33.960 And so, you know, I am.
01:33:37.060 I'm scared.
01:33:38.160 I've seen, like, actually, Bo Burnham made this great video about it, or movie about it, 8th Grade.
01:33:44.440 But I never thought about how these kids grow up with Instagram and all these social medias, and these little fucking kids with goddamn smartphones in, like, you know, middle school.
01:33:56.260 And it's, yeah, it's scary.
01:33:57.600 It terrifies me.
01:33:58.400 I don't, I just, I never grew up with that, so I almost don't know how to relate to that, that kind of social pressure.
01:34:05.300 I know that, like, the social pressures you feel just as a, as a, as a prepubescent or in high school or middle school is, is, you know, already stressful.
01:34:15.340 But the added stress of, like, interacting with people on Instagram, and do people like my post?
01:34:23.240 Yeah, do people like me.
01:34:23.720 People are, like, trashing on people on Instagram.
01:34:25.960 There's, like, bullying on Instagram, and there's all these clicks, like, cyber clicks and shit.
01:34:30.820 I mean, it's, it's, it's scary.
01:34:32.440 I hope that I can, I hope that I can, you know, give, give him guidance through that, because I, I'm not sure what it's like to grow up like that.
01:34:42.600 I think keeping him human, you know, try and keep him in human spaces, you know, where he's having real feelings and things that are, you know, actual emotions and stuff, and not just reactions.
01:34:53.700 I think a lot of these kids are just more reactive, it seems like, the way that they live, kind of, with electronics.
01:34:59.580 But, yeah, I don't know, like, my niece thought imagination was an app, and that really spooked me.
01:35:06.140 Oh, crazy.
01:35:08.140 How, what was the context of that?
01:35:09.880 Just like, I was like, you know, your imagination, he's like, what, what do you mean?
01:35:13.280 I was like, you use your imagination.
01:35:15.520 Really?
01:35:15.960 She's like, I don't think we have it, I'll check my mom's phone.
01:35:18.760 And I was like, alright, well, we're all gonna be in hell.
01:35:22.220 Yeah, but that, you know, that's not far off.
01:35:25.840 It's terrifying.
01:35:26.580 And I'm afraid of, like, I mean, it must tear apart their, I mean, the self-esteem, you know, you gotta put pictures of yourself online.
01:35:35.580 I mean, when I was that age, I couldn't look at photos of myself.
01:35:39.540 It would ruin my day to see a photo of myself at that age.
01:35:43.680 Yet these kids gotta put photos of themselves online and try to compete with, like, the handsome kids in their school and shit.
01:35:48.840 You know?
01:35:49.560 It's tough.
01:35:51.800 I don't know how these kids are gonna grow up.
01:35:53.360 But do you think, in the end, that it all equates back to exactly the same way it was, just the medium's a little different?
01:36:00.120 Now I'm starting to think about that.
01:36:01.000 Probably, more or less.
01:36:02.720 I mean, when I, I mean, more or less, you know, I think that's probably true.
01:36:05.820 But we don't know, though.
01:36:06.920 Because the electronic thing, it is different.
01:36:08.500 There's this weird other reflective surface in the world that wasn't there when we were.
01:36:15.200 Well, you know, it's not all bad either.
01:36:16.740 I mean, you have a ton of knowledge at your fingertips.
01:36:20.340 I think that, I think that it gives them certain coordinating skills.
01:36:24.860 And, you know, I've read studies like being in, being in a 3D world can kind of help your brain.
01:36:30.020 Like playing video games in a 3D world can enhance your perception and wire your brain in a different way that, that, for, in a good way.
01:36:38.840 Really?
01:36:39.480 Yeah.
01:36:40.020 Because you, you, because it's kind of a, it's kind of a, an incredible task to be able to, to actualize a 3D space on a 2D monitor.
01:36:52.000 Right.
01:36:52.120 Like if you're playing a video game and you're wandering around and you're, you're, you're really existing in this 3D world, but it's just on a screen.
01:36:59.440 I mean, that takes a lot of brain power, I feel like, and a lot of educating.
01:37:02.300 It just happens that we enjoy it, we like doing it, but I think that that definitely taps into some kind of part of our brain that, that could be good.
01:37:11.440 I really do think so.
01:37:12.840 I think a lot of that kind of stuff is, is over, maybe over, is, is alarmist stuff.
01:37:19.240 I grew up playing video games, you know.
01:37:21.140 Right.
01:37:21.580 Yeah, me too.
01:37:22.320 And I loved them.
01:37:23.220 We played it a ton.
01:37:24.240 I, I'm not worried about video games so much as I am about the, the social pressure of, of being on Instagram when, at 12.
01:37:31.140 Yeah, the social media was, it would definitely be different if there was, because at least whenever we left home and stuff, when we went home from school and stuff, that was Instagram.
01:37:39.500 School was Instagram and it was gone once you left there.
01:37:42.060 Right.
01:37:42.500 That's right.
01:37:43.160 And you got to go home and have a life outside of there that was separate and that was.
01:37:46.240 And I looked in the mirror a couple times a day and that's when I saw myself.
01:37:49.900 It wasn't like, I'm trying to find the good angles.
01:37:52.520 Oh, that's a great point.
01:37:53.460 Like I can represent myself.
01:37:54.460 I never even thought about that.
01:37:55.300 Yeah, you had to wait until you got home to see the mirror to even fucking see yourself.
01:37:58.180 That you look like shit.
01:37:59.100 That I only need to remind myself I look like shit three times a day.
01:38:02.240 Not every time I open my phone.
01:38:03.940 Yeah.
01:38:04.240 It's tough, man.
01:38:05.060 I don't know how I deal with that as a young kid.
01:38:07.980 I'm, I am a little bit worried about that, but I'll, I'll, you know, hopefully.
01:38:11.980 You'll navigate it, man.
01:38:13.100 Hopefully he's handsome.
01:38:14.020 And plus, we did it.
01:38:14.340 It's fucking Theodore's problem.
01:38:15.720 Yeah, that's true.
01:38:16.960 We did it.
01:38:17.500 He's got to deal with the fucking world that's burning.
01:38:20.280 Yeah.
01:38:21.080 And Instagram.
01:38:22.300 You fucking.
01:38:22.800 I'll be dead by, I'll be dead, so.
01:38:24.780 It's his problem.
01:38:25.320 Look, man, any kid that for fucking two weeks is sucking on a dry tit, bro, I fucking respect
01:38:30.320 that guy.
01:38:30.340 He's a warrior.
01:38:31.180 Yeah, that's what I'm saying, bro.
01:38:32.400 For sure.
01:38:32.700 He'll be fine, dude.
01:38:33.480 Yeah, that's a good point.
01:38:35.740 Ethan, thanks so much, man.
01:38:37.380 I appreciate it, man.
01:38:38.340 Thank you.
01:38:38.360 Thank you for inviting me.
01:38:38.960 And I'm so happy for you, bro.
01:38:40.040 And I love, I wish we'd have gotten to maybe talk a little bit more about, like, some of
01:38:44.220 the mental health stuff.
01:38:45.120 Just for my, for our own well-being, you know.
01:38:47.060 I really enjoy talking.
01:38:47.860 It's hard to get into the.
01:38:48.860 It's hard to get in that space.
01:38:49.560 It's hard to find the right.
01:38:52.700 You can't always do it.
01:38:53.800 Get the groove.
01:38:54.500 I'm here, though.
01:38:55.080 You want to keep talking?
01:38:57.800 It's up to you.
01:38:58.720 You trying to end this?
01:38:59.640 Obviously, you're trying to end this.
01:39:00.680 You got shit to do.
01:39:01.300 You're a busy guy.
01:39:01.980 You're a busy guy.
01:39:02.980 I just have an appointment at 4 p.m.
01:39:04.940 What time is it?
01:39:05.760 You know what?
01:39:06.700 We'll do yours.
01:39:08.240 Okay.
01:39:08.620 This has been a, no, this has been a good experience.
01:39:10.420 Sometimes, for me, it's also about, sometimes it's just, like, it's easier than other times.
01:39:16.940 I know exactly what you mean.
01:39:18.200 You know?
01:39:19.000 Mm-hmm.
01:39:19.440 It's just easier to, like, be in a place.
01:39:21.120 It's, um, I think even being as a guest, sometimes it's easier for me.
01:39:25.460 Definitely.
01:39:26.140 Like, this, being not a guest is always, for me, it's very tough sometimes.
01:39:29.980 Mm-hmm.
01:39:30.800 But, but, dude, you inspired us to get this office space.
01:39:34.900 Dude, I love what you guys did.
01:39:36.200 The space is incredible.
01:39:37.180 I don't know if you ever showed a tour.
01:39:39.160 I don't know if we have.
01:39:40.080 We really just kind of finished buttoning it up.
01:39:42.940 Like, these, these counters in this control room were the last part.
01:39:45.720 So, uh, I, I do, I was gonna pitch that to you, like, shooting, like, a crib-style thing.
01:39:50.020 It's a good idea.
01:39:50.700 This is the first time that we've actually even comfortably, like, had Nick in there where it's, we did it one other time, but this is.
01:39:55.640 It's really nice.
01:39:56.660 It's all just evolving.
01:39:57.980 So, uh, but, yeah, I remember you saying, I think there's a space in our building when I was here.
01:40:02.060 Mm.
01:40:02.800 On your podcast.
01:40:03.360 Yeah, we're in the same building, dude.
01:40:04.560 I used the bathroom before.
01:40:05.760 I had the key already.
01:40:06.900 We can hear it sometimes coming down the pipes.
01:40:09.020 Yeah, absolutely.
01:40:10.040 That's beautiful, dude.
01:40:11.840 It's beautiful.
01:40:12.360 It's like Africa.
01:40:13.320 No, you guys did an amazing job in here.
01:40:14.820 You changed the carpet, too, eh?
01:40:16.460 Oh, no, they put in new carpet for you guys?
01:40:18.660 Yeah, they had some mannequins.
01:40:19.980 Somebody was storing mannequins in here, which was crazy.
01:40:22.280 Oh, that's creepy as fuck.
01:40:23.080 That's like a Doctor Who episode.
01:40:24.220 And I wanted them.
01:40:25.320 I said, keep the mannequins.
01:40:26.720 We're in.
01:40:27.440 I said, at least two.
01:40:29.220 There were two in the negotiations, bro.
01:40:31.220 And specific ones.
01:40:31.660 Did they leave them?
01:40:32.580 No, they ended up taking them.
01:40:34.060 Specific ones, they were like, no way, these are off limits.
01:40:36.520 And I'm like, well, what the fuck?
01:40:38.360 Like, okay, sorry.
01:40:40.060 I didn't know, you know?
01:40:41.420 Huh.
01:40:42.320 But it definitely got interesting with the fucking.
01:40:44.680 It's interesting what people do in these offices.
01:40:48.020 My kinfolk, they call them.
01:40:49.740 Kinfolk, your mannequin.
01:40:51.040 How do you sexually identify?
01:40:52.740 I sexually identify as a straight male.
01:40:55.840 How do you call it?
01:40:56.560 Binary?
01:40:57.080 Is that binary?
01:40:58.460 I wouldn't say I'm binary.
01:40:59.520 How do you call that?
01:41:00.480 He's binary.
01:41:01.520 Yeah, you're binary.
01:41:02.580 That means you're straight male.
01:41:04.000 Yeah, I'm straight male.
01:41:04.820 I'm doing women this time.
01:41:06.340 Maybe in next reincarnation or two or three down the road.
01:41:09.500 Suck some dick?
01:41:10.780 I'm not going to suck it, bro.
01:41:11.980 Come on.
01:41:12.900 I'll hold one outside, but I'm not doing anything indoors.
01:41:15.960 But I'll say this, man, is that Trisha Paytas, you guys just had that fair.
01:41:19.240 She's amazing.
01:41:20.380 What was going on?
01:41:21.120 She had nine different ethnicities or gender.
01:41:23.060 By the end, I didn't know what was going on.
01:41:24.920 By the end, I literally looked in my pants to see what was going on.
01:41:27.700 Yeah, she's just a troll.
01:41:30.260 I don't think she actually thinks.
01:41:30.900 She just seemed kind of desperate to me a little bit.
01:41:33.120 But she's also very, I do, I love her, I watch some of her dance shows, some of it's
01:41:38.500 pretty entertaining.
01:41:39.160 I agree.
01:41:39.680 She's very entertaining.
01:41:41.360 She made this whole video about how she identifies as a trans male, even though she looks like
01:41:45.820 a female, she dresses like a female, she even does porn as a female.
01:41:51.140 She says you can be a lesbian and a gay man at the same time.
01:41:54.200 I was like, whoa, dude, I'm in the LBGTQ zone right now.
01:41:59.520 Fuck that, I'm out, bro.
01:42:00.620 I'll see you at Popeyes, dude.
01:42:01.680 I'd rather go to Popeyes, bro.
01:42:02.520 Dude, don't go to Popeyes, dude.
01:42:03.960 You'll lose your life there.
01:42:04.660 Dude, take a fucking gun, bro.
01:42:06.300 I'll shoot somebody more of those biscuits.
01:42:06.800 Somebody got stabbed to death, you know, recently.
01:42:09.140 Dude, I went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
01:42:10.560 Every year, we would go to the Popeyes and watch people fucking fight.
01:42:14.340 Is that where it goes down?
01:42:15.820 Where it goes down?
01:42:16.640 What do they put in those sandwiches?
01:42:18.840 I don't know if it's the food, bro.
01:42:20.680 I want to say it's for the people.
01:42:22.480 But what is it about Popeyes?
01:42:23.680 I mean, I had Popeyes.
01:42:24.800 It's good.
01:42:25.360 The sandwich chicken for Popeyes.
01:42:27.400 Damn, that's an understatement.
01:42:29.260 Kill people for Popeyes.
01:42:30.680 Oh, dude.
01:42:31.560 And shout out to my boy fucking John, bro.
01:42:33.680 Red John.
01:42:34.380 He works over there at Popeyes off of Highway 190.
01:42:36.940 Dude, yeah, Popeyes was like a nice restaurant when I was young.
01:42:40.100 Oh, that was like, of course, we're going out to Popeyes, son.
01:42:42.400 We get it.
01:42:43.200 And it came with this little, like, figurine.
01:42:46.100 Can you look up the Popeyes figurine toy that came in their Happy Meal?
01:42:50.820 It was a little actual one of the Popeyes or olive oil.
01:42:53.560 Oh, it was actually Popeye?
01:42:54.820 And it came in the Happy Meal.
01:42:55.320 Is it associated with Popeye?
01:42:56.760 Yes.
01:42:57.440 What?
01:42:58.380 Where's the spinach?
01:42:59.920 Yeah, it's like, whatever it was.
01:43:02.080 I had no idea there was an association.
01:43:04.100 It used to be associated with Popeyes.
01:43:05.760 It should still be.
01:43:07.940 They're like, drop the fucking Popeye.
01:43:09.200 There it is.
01:43:09.600 The blue toy right there.
01:43:10.700 Click on that.
01:43:11.900 There we go.
01:43:12.480 They're like, you know what?
01:43:13.080 The chicken's better than Popeye.
01:43:14.280 Nobody cares about Popeye.
01:43:15.580 You could get spinach back in the day at Popeyes.
01:43:18.580 Wow.
01:43:19.040 I had no idea there was an association.
01:43:20.580 They totally dropped the Popeye from Popeyes.
01:43:22.520 And now it's just known for mixed people fucking body slamming each other in the parking lot.
01:43:27.100 More than the chicken, the street fights.
01:43:29.840 Bro, if Popeyes doesn't start to sponsor the UFC, I'm out.
01:43:33.900 God, that's a fucking lost opportunity.
01:43:36.380 I'm out, man.
01:43:37.400 Ethan Klein, thank you so much.
01:43:38.640 Give a big hug to your wife and congratulations on Theodore.
01:43:41.160 Thank you very much.
01:43:41.880 That's your name.
01:43:42.720 Yeah, it's a beautiful name, man.
01:43:44.180 And I'm happy to share it with your son.
01:43:46.140 Thank you for your blessings.
01:43:47.640 Yeah, it's exciting, man.
01:43:48.840 We'll see you at the HG podcast at the...
01:43:51.180 We'll do it in the New Year.
01:43:51.760 Next year.
01:43:52.280 Yep.
01:43:52.740 Gang bless, bro.
01:43:53.600 Gang bless.
01:43:54.620 Appreciate it.
01:43:55.320 Thank you.
01:43:55.740 Now I'm just floating on the breeze
01:43:58.900 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be
01:44:02.860 Cornerstone
01:44:05.200 Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found
01:44:12.600 I can feel it in my bones
01:44:16.100 But it's gonna take a little time
01:44:21.760 For me to set that parking brake
01:44:25.620 And let myself unwind
01:44:28.360 Shine that light on me
01:44:32.360 I'll sit and tell you my stories
01:44:38.100 Shine on me
01:44:43.100 And I will find a song
01:44:46.700 I will sing it
01:44:48.820 Just for you
01:44:50.700 And now I've been moving way too fast
01:44:58.220 On the runaway train
01:44:59.620 With a heavy load of power
01:45:01.360 Ladies and gentlemen
01:45:06.000 I'm Jonathan Kite
01:45:07.200 And welcome to Kite Club
01:45:08.520 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:45:12.180 Stand-up stories
01:45:13.400 And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:45:15.720 The answer may shock you
01:45:17.620 Sometimes I'll interview my friends
01:45:19.620 Sometimes I won't
01:45:20.960 And as always
01:45:22.500 I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:45:24.440 You have three new voice messages
01:45:27.300 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:45:30.340 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:45:33.140 Longer than anybody else
01:45:34.760 So great
01:45:35.580 Hi, sweetheart
01:45:37.380 Here's a deal
01:45:38.580 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club
01:45:41.060 Is a dodgy bloody wanker
01:45:43.100 Jermaine
01:45:43.800 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese
01:45:47.100 And a McFlurry
01:45:48.120 Sorry, sir
01:45:48.700 But our ice cream machine is broken
01:45:49.980 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me
01:45:54.940 Anyway
01:45:55.400 First rule of Kite Club is
01:45:57.340 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:45:59.060 Second rule of Kite Club is
01:46:01.000 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:46:03.240 Third rule
01:46:04.020 Like and subscribe
01:46:05.180 Wherever you listen to podcasts
01:46:06.920 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:46:09.260 And yes, don't worry
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