This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Just a Suggestion

00:00:00.000 This episode brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. Gray Block, get that hitter.

00:00:30.000 I got that short neck, baby.

00:00:44.240 There we go.

00:01:00.000 Enjoy the destination, nation, nation, nation.

00:01:07.000 Fantasy, paint it on the wall.

00:01:11.920 Yeah.

00:01:13.320 Come on, let's go.

00:01:16.120 It's never too late to come over.

00:01:22.240 Mm-hmm.

00:01:22.940 Time slips away from you and me now.

00:01:30.000 There you go, boy.

00:01:33.220 So don't you hesitate to come over.

00:01:38.180 It's never too late to come over.

00:01:40.060 Time slips away from you and me now.

00:01:42.860 That's that late night text, you know, that you could drop into a lady's text box.

00:01:48.620 Hey, it's never too late to come over.

00:01:51.280 And then she texts back, yeah, it is, okay?

00:01:54.960 It's 3.04.

00:01:56.520 It's 3.04 a.m.

00:01:58.040 And mama just, you know, mama just hit a chili dog in her throat and she just put some lotion on her arms and neck.

00:02:06.620 So you need to shut it down and contact me during regular human hours.

00:02:13.400 And that's from about 11 a.m.

00:02:16.140 To 8 p.m.

00:02:18.320 If you're texting women or men outside of those hours, you know you shouldn't be probably.

00:02:25.280 You know, I think that's nonsensual hours.

00:02:28.600 You know, if you start, or, you know, maybe up to about 11 p.m.

00:02:31.580 Maybe I would say 11 a.m. or 11 p.m.

00:02:34.280 Because you start getting greedy out there, 1 a.m., you're fishing.

00:02:39.160 I mean, one of my old moves is I would just text a blunt.

00:02:43.720 I would open up a girl's, you know, text name on my SMS.

00:02:49.420 And then I would just press the space bar one time.

00:02:52.560 And then I would just send that.

00:02:53.920 So it was just like sending a bubble, nothing, no words, anything.

00:02:57.480 And you just blast that bubble out there and then see if she wants to, you know, catch that thing in her mouth.

00:03:03.920 And so that's a way you could just be fishing, just throwing bubs into the air.

00:03:09.720 You know, you just tossing them those empty spheres out there and seeing if anybody's biting.

00:03:15.460 Seeing if they got any bad little, uh, seeing if they got any bad little, little ladies biting on them, uh, on them hope bubbles.

00:03:25.700 People hoping for somebody to touch their crotch late at night.

00:03:29.260 Isn't it wild how your crotch just becomes this beacon of hope?

00:03:34.280 Isn't that crazy?

00:03:35.320 I mean, for men it does.

00:03:36.520 I don't, I mean, I don't know what women are doing at these hours.

00:03:39.380 But for a lot of men, your crotch just becomes this beacon of hope at like about, I think maybe 11.40 p.m.

00:03:50.260 Your crotch just starts sending off this sonar signal.

00:03:57.500 Like, you know, it's like a, it's like a dolphin.

00:04:00.240 Just like a coochie dolphin, just kind of, you know, just milling around out in the atmosphere, looking for, looking for some affection, look for somebody to come over and pet it.

00:04:11.900 Because a crotch, think about this, a crotch is just like a puppy.

00:04:18.140 All a crotch wants somebody to do is just to come rub on it.

00:04:21.760 Think about that.

00:04:22.560 And that really flares up about 11 p.m.

00:04:25.560 And I don't know what that, if that's called, if that's a syndrome or what that's called, but it's undeniable that that happens.

00:04:32.940 That's undeniable that that happens.

00:04:36.340 I want to say happy Memorial Day to anyone and everyone who's involved with our armed forces.

00:04:42.420 I want to say, you know, offer a prayer up for anyone who's lost a family member in service to this country.

00:04:53.920 You know, Memorial Day or Decoration Day, that's what they called, used to call it, or some people still call it.

00:04:59.360 They started up after the Civil War, just honoring those who have fallen.

00:05:03.480 And it's a, you know, it's just the bravery there for me.

00:05:07.920 It's just, I've said this before, one of my biggest regrets is that I haven't served.

00:05:14.200 You know, I've done some, gotten to do some tours for the military over the years and going over and seeing what these men and women's lives are like.

00:05:21.920 And it's just fascinating.

00:05:23.780 It's fascinating to know.

00:05:24.900 Sure, it's a job.

00:05:26.360 You know, sure there's, you know, people are paid for it.

00:05:30.700 But it's a bravery that I don't possess.

00:05:35.260 You know, it's a commitment that I, you know, wasn't willing to make.

00:05:40.260 And, you know, my hat's off and my heart open to those who have lost a loved one who was in service to our country.

00:05:50.320 And God bless those people.

00:05:53.180 You know, that's so brave.

00:05:56.300 I was just at home this weekend.

00:05:57.400 Actually, I went to a high school reunion and we had a gentleman from our class who lost his life in Afghanistan.

00:06:07.400 And it was just interesting hearing people talk about him and share stories.

00:06:12.180 And, you know, so I'll be thinking about him this weekend.

00:06:17.460 And I'll be over probably at the cemetery tomorrow.

00:06:19.600 They have a beautiful cemetery near me.

00:06:21.800 I think it's Los Angeles Memorial.

00:06:23.400 What is that?

00:06:23.780 And I go over there on Memorial Day and check it out.

00:06:26.140 And they do some beautiful services.

00:06:28.080 And there's just all the flags on the grave headstones.

00:06:30.760 And it's a pretty marvelous time.

00:06:32.940 Before we get into today's episode, you know, a lot of people have been asking me, what about Trick Lung Mickey?

00:06:37.900 You know, he got them new hitters.

00:06:39.300 He got them new baby bags in his chest.

00:06:42.140 You know, and if you don't know about Mickey, Mickey got involved early with the show.

00:06:46.560 And we communicated with him, and he's been suffering from cystic fibrosis since he was, which sounds like a snack.

00:06:54.900 Let's be honest.

00:06:55.580 That sounds like something you would get at a health food store.

00:06:58.360 You know, like, oh, Janet just got a new bag of cystic fibrosis.

00:07:05.140 And we'll be like, well, I guess it's movie night at her house.

00:07:07.940 Okay.

00:07:08.280 But it's a lung disorder, and it's an ailment, and it can kill you.

00:07:16.040 And so Mickey's been on this transplant list for a while, and he finally got them new baby bags.

00:07:21.300 And so I want to check in with that.

00:07:23.600 I want to check in with him right now and just give you guys an update via him.

00:07:28.260 This is the first time I've talked to him since he got out of his transplant and got those new hitters that he got.

00:07:35.460 Let's check in with Mickey now.

00:07:36.640 So let's see what's going on.

00:07:39.340 Let's see how them new air titties are holding out.

00:07:56.300 Hello?

00:07:57.460 Hey, Mickey.

00:07:58.660 Yo, Theo.

00:07:59.500 How's it going, man?

00:08:00.360 What up, bro?

00:08:02.260 Dude, new hitters, bro.

00:08:03.980 You got them new fresh air duffles, huh, baby boy?

00:08:08.360 Man, God dang, man.

00:08:10.120 Life is so good, brother.

00:08:11.880 It's so good to hear your voice, man.

00:08:13.540 Dude, you too, man.

00:08:14.700 You sound like a dad.

00:08:15.800 Honestly, you sound like an adult now.

00:08:19.500 Dude, you know what's crazy?

00:08:20.940 You're the real fast.

00:08:22.220 Dude, my diaphragm hasn't hooked up to my lung, so I got a laugh right now.

00:08:26.160 Like, literally, it's a silent laugh.

00:08:28.140 But I am an adult.

00:08:29.320 I'm an adult now, man.

00:08:30.440 I weigh, dude, I weigh 118 pounds, but I'm still an adult.

00:08:34.560 Dang, he's that light adult, but look out.

00:08:38.560 You know, look out.

00:08:39.240 You got some weight to put on.

00:08:40.220 So your diaphragm isn't hooked into your new lungs yet?

00:08:43.360 It takes a little bit of strengthening, man, like literal actual conditioning, because

00:08:48.040 those nerve endings, you know, got severed.

00:08:51.260 Wow.

00:08:51.920 And so that's why, yeah, man, it's why nothing really comes.

00:08:54.640 I'm laughing over here.

00:08:55.640 I really am.

00:08:56.620 Sure.

00:08:58.260 Trick lung, Mickey, with those severed nerves, man.

00:09:01.600 So you got that, you coming in with that soft chuckle right now, because you can't.

00:09:06.140 Dude, you can't really go hard in the humor paint yet, can you?

00:09:10.520 No, man.

00:09:11.240 Well, you know, writing, of course, as we talked about, but.

00:09:13.940 Amen.

00:09:14.680 Yeah, man.

00:09:15.420 Yeah.

00:09:16.280 It's been good.

00:09:17.200 The laugh will come back.

00:09:18.380 It'll come back.

00:09:19.060 There you go, man.

00:09:20.120 Yeah, and it's going to be such a gift when it does.

00:09:21.960 Dude, so, I mean, you're back.

00:09:24.040 Like, you are.

00:09:25.480 Where were you at before, like, out of 10, and where are you at now out of 10?

00:09:31.200 So it's really funny, man.

00:09:33.240 You know, when we talked, what, like three weeks ago, I want to say, four weeks, maybe.

00:09:37.160 Um, you know, I was like, I think I told you, like, maybe an 8.5 in life, right?

00:09:42.180 Yeah.

00:09:42.440 Eight out of 10.

00:09:43.120 Yeah.

00:09:43.500 Eight out of five.

00:09:44.040 Dude, this is like, you know, not to be all hokey or whatever, man.

00:09:48.100 Yeah, it's like a, it's 10 out of 10, if not 15 out of 10, man.

00:09:53.060 Dude, every day is, man.

00:09:56.420 You're out there, huh?

00:09:57.480 Every day is beautiful, dude.

00:09:58.960 So, dude, let me hear.

00:10:00.000 So you got those new lungs.

00:10:01.140 Now, the person that donated them to you, that person was a, they overdosed.

00:10:06.180 Is that right?

00:10:06.700 Yeah.

00:10:07.600 That's true, man.

00:10:08.520 Yeah.

00:10:08.760 I said that over text, dude, uh, in the sense that this was what was considered a high risk

00:10:14.280 transplant, meaning that the, uh, donor had been using intravenous drugs and also spent

00:10:21.100 a little bit of time in jail.

00:10:22.880 Ooh, boy, you got a real G inside of you now.

00:10:27.060 Dude, my street credibility went up about a hundred percent, at least double what I normally

00:10:31.860 had, you know?

00:10:32.480 Dude, you got them dirty, moist, you got them dirty, moist duffels living in your, in your

00:10:37.000 sternum now, dude.

00:10:38.120 This is gangster.

00:10:38.840 That's right, man.

00:10:39.760 Um, do you, now is there any, go on.

00:10:42.260 I wanted, I wanted to tell you real fast, it was right after Cinco de Mayo too.

00:10:45.640 So, you know, those parties happen, man.

00:10:48.320 And, you know, I, I think I got, you know, what you've told me now, I got, I think I'm

00:10:53.320 going to reach out to the family in like about nine months or so.

00:10:56.260 Mm-hmm.

00:10:56.960 It's, it's fresh for them, right?

00:10:58.420 But what I'm saying is I think I got a little bit of, uh, you know, I got a little bit of

00:11:02.600 some flavor and salsa in me these days, man.

00:11:05.580 Oh, really?

00:11:06.100 You feel like you could dance better?

00:11:09.520 Absolutely.

00:11:10.100 Of course.

00:11:10.420 I could breathe better.

00:11:11.300 You definitely know I could dance about it.

00:11:13.680 Wow, man.

00:11:14.480 I can't believe that.

00:11:15.260 Can you whistle?

00:11:15.960 Give me a whistle, man.

00:11:17.020 What is that?

00:11:17.280 Hey.

00:11:18.420 Let's do that.

00:11:19.140 Wow.

00:11:21.500 Yeah.

00:11:21.820 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:11:22.340 I blew out a kid's birthday candle the other day just because I saw it.

00:11:25.460 Get the fuck out of here, son.

00:11:27.760 We shutting down all these birthday cakes, boy.

00:11:31.460 Trick lung got them hot bags.

00:11:34.660 Dude, give me that cat call.

00:11:35.960 Can you give me a little bit of cat?

00:11:36.940 Oh, hey.

00:11:37.620 He's like, hey, baby girl.

00:11:39.960 That's right, man.

00:11:40.640 Oh, damn, bro.

00:11:41.800 We are in there, man.

00:11:43.020 We are in there.

00:11:43.440 Well, you're going to fuck a cousin if you keep, if you, you got to, you got to, you

00:11:47.060 need to turn that back, baby.

00:11:48.920 What about a yodel?

00:11:50.000 Can you give me a yodel?

00:11:51.200 Oh, dude, yodel, that's going to be too hard, man.

00:11:53.600 We still singing right now.

00:11:54.720 I'm still singing a little bit of Aaliyah first to get my yodel back up, you know?

00:11:59.760 Dude, that's so awesome, man.

00:12:01.500 So you're back.

00:12:02.260 Do you feel, how do you feel?

00:12:05.520 Right now, man, I feel incredible at all levels.

00:12:09.120 I'm so focused on my recovery in regards to my nutrition and my sleep and also exercise.

00:12:17.740 Man, I'm exercising like four times a day.

00:12:19.820 I told you I weigh 118.

00:12:22.020 It's because of the fact that the transplant surgery takes a lot of your muscle out of you,

00:12:27.620 man.

00:12:27.700 A lot of that protein to recover.

00:12:29.400 Well, they're thieves, too.

00:12:30.300 A lot of these doctors, man, they get inside.

00:12:32.960 Dude, I'm not joking.

00:12:34.940 They're just like, it's like whenever you're building a home in a sketchy neighborhood,

00:12:39.460 you have a lot of addicts will sneak in at night and bust out the copper piping at night

00:12:43.500 and melt it down and sell it.

00:12:45.560 You don't know what happened, man.

00:12:47.020 I woke up.

00:12:48.060 Here's, listen.

00:12:48.840 Dude, feel, man.

00:12:50.320 I'm a clean gentleman, you know?

00:12:52.120 Yeah.

00:12:52.400 You know, I went there prepared and I shaved and I, you know, I kept clean.

00:12:57.780 Yeah.

00:12:57.960 And I woke up.

00:12:58.760 I realized these guys also shaved my armpits.

00:13:01.700 And I was like, oh, dang, that's the one thing I forgot.

00:13:04.160 Wow.

00:13:04.840 But, yeah, man.

00:13:05.780 So you never know when you're on that table.

00:13:07.440 You're right, man.

00:13:08.040 Who knows what they're going to do?

00:13:09.080 God dang, you know?

00:13:10.460 Man, they could do anything, man.

00:13:13.640 I might go in for a treatment just because I got a lot of body here.

00:13:18.080 I honestly would not even mind, you know, having somebody put me to sleep and take it off of me.

00:13:24.240 But, man, I'm so happy for you, dude.

00:13:25.960 And I'm so, I'm just so grateful that you let us be a part of a little bit of this experience, dude.

00:13:31.860 Dude, if I can gush out to you in this past weekend's family, man, I felt, God, man, I thank you so much for being a part of it.

00:13:42.540 I'm happy to be a part of it, of everything as well.

00:13:45.340 But the amount of people that have reached out to me, man, I just thank them.

00:13:49.580 Thank you, man.

00:13:50.900 And it's been a truly, it's been a truly beautiful experience.

00:13:54.060 I say that with the utmost, utmost truth, man.

00:13:58.800 Well, same here, man.

00:14:00.220 I mean, there's been moments where, like, you know, probably little moments in a lot of our days, you know, myself and the listeners were, you know, something we didn't want to do or something we didn't want to, you know, take a moment of.

00:14:10.560 Or, you know, we didn't want to try.

00:14:13.680 And, you know, and then having, you know, some inspiration, having that, you know, you have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.

00:14:19.700 But then you got a trick along Mickey hanging off your earlobe.

00:14:23.160 And, you know, sometimes we hear your voice and it tells us to get it going.

00:14:26.220 So, dude, thank you so much.

00:14:28.040 We're going to have to get you in studio sometime this year.

00:14:30.620 Dude, I would love nothing more, man.

00:14:32.520 Yeah.

00:14:32.760 Be in touch, man, and get that recovery process in order.

00:14:37.920 And, you know, I'll be putting out my stuff.

00:14:40.600 Dude, you better start singing, bro.

00:14:42.060 I want to see you in a choir.

00:14:43.380 I want to see you scuba diving.

00:14:45.580 Dude, I want to see you.

00:14:46.740 If somebody can't, like, CPR, dude, you should be giving CPR to people who don't even need it.

00:14:53.760 It's funny you mentioned on my birthday I want to go skydiving.

00:14:56.600 Amen.

00:14:56.880 I think you just did something like that, right?

00:14:59.080 I did, man, and it was a blast.

00:15:01.760 And now I get to do that.

00:15:03.240 So, you know, this summer after I recover a little bit, we're going skydiving.

00:15:08.040 So, you'll see me out there, man.

00:15:09.520 Oh, I'll look up there and see.

00:15:10.780 I'll look for you, dude.

00:15:12.980 Well, look, thank you so much, dude.

00:15:14.800 Congratulations, you know, just moving on with this battle with cystic fibrosis.

00:15:18.120 And you got them new lungs, dude.

00:15:19.680 And you just get out there and keep taking hits off the world, bro.

00:15:22.660 New hitters.

00:15:23.460 Get in there.

00:15:24.340 Get in there.

00:15:25.400 All right, Mick.

00:15:26.960 I'll talk to you soon, man.

00:15:28.340 All right, man.

00:15:28.860 Much love.

00:15:29.400 See you.

00:15:29.660 Catch you later, man.

00:15:30.540 Back at you, bud.

00:15:31.760 Man, and that's one of our mascots right there, Mickey.

00:15:34.620 You know, and that's just so inspiring.

00:15:36.260 And, you know, I met Mickey because, you know, my sister was born with biliary atresia.

00:15:41.660 When she was born, she had a rare liver disease that affects, like, I think almost one and a half million children at the time.

00:15:48.800 And so throughout my childhood, she was, you know, having to be shipped around to these different hospitals.

00:15:55.660 And she would come home and be all, you know, scarred up.

00:16:00.360 And, you know, she was like this green or she had like a green tint or jaundice kind of or, you know, purple even sometimes.

00:16:08.200 Really Mardi Gras colors, honestly.

00:16:12.220 In Louisiana, you know, even if it's a sick baby, people get excited.

00:16:16.220 If you have green, purple, and gold, they'll be like, well, look, she's sick.

00:16:19.760 But, you know, that's Mardi Gras colors.

00:16:22.000 But I remember that and it just and then whenever we started getting in touch with Mickey, it just really, you know, it's stuck in a special place with me.

00:16:31.020 Because I didn't get to see my sister a lot when we were growing up.

00:16:34.620 Because, you know, it's just it's amazing what illness does.

00:16:40.280 You know, it's just amazing what an infection it is and how it can resonate throughout a family.

00:16:44.240 And it can bring people together and it can take people apart.

00:16:48.520 But and I guess it's just all facets of life, you know, I didn't mean to get off on a weird tangent already.

00:16:54.980 But this whole existence is a weird tangent, isn't it?

00:17:00.140 Isn't this a weird tangent that we are on?

00:17:03.860 Thank you guys for being here with me today.

00:17:05.940 Happy Memorial Day.

00:17:08.260 You know, I went home for my high school graduation.

00:17:12.600 And I wasn't sure up until really the last minute if I was going to go.

00:17:16.020 And I was like, I don't know, should I, should I not?

00:17:20.680 And and part of me didn't want to go because I was like, you know, I got offered to do a show on Saturday night with with Joey Diaz and with Joe Rogan at the Ice House in Pasadena.

00:17:32.580 And I was like, and I was like, man, this is a great opportunity.

00:17:37.060 It's a fun show.

00:17:38.280 You know, I love both these guys.

00:17:40.520 I'm always honored to be around them.

00:17:42.820 And then I just like, you know, but if I don't go to this reunion, am I going to regret it?

00:17:47.980 And I also didn't want to, you know, I wanted to just stay in touch with kind of, you know, where I where I'm from, I guess, somewhat.

00:17:59.820 I didn't want to.

00:18:02.040 I didn't want to.

00:18:03.320 I don't know.

00:18:03.800 I wanted to maybe look, see some people's eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time and maybe a memory would spark up inside.

00:18:09.880 I mean, I wanted, you know, to take a couple of puffs off that nostalgia because I'll smoke a frickin well, I'll smoke a whole rock of nostalgia.

00:18:18.840 You know, I love nostalgia.

00:18:20.100 I love taking this free time warp, you know, into a moment, you know, it's crazy sometimes how, you know, you can see somebody or smell something and suddenly you're in a you're in 15 years earlier in your life.

00:18:36.580 And, you know, people say, well, we don't know if we can time travel.

00:18:40.580 I say, well, then, you know, you didn't walk into a cafeteria and smell some green beans that took me back to my to my neighbor's house.

00:18:50.100 Because I fucking one hit off those those hairy covairs and that's French for green beans.

00:18:57.240 And fuck, I'm time traveling.

00:19:00.180 But I guess I didn't want to have that.

00:19:02.720 I didn't want to miss the opportunities of that nostalgia.

00:19:05.480 And then also I figured, you know, if I go if I show up at the reunion, you know, maybe somebody else is excited to see me.

00:19:12.840 And so, you know, in the end, you know, I went and I had a nice time and they had all types of people there.

00:19:19.100 They had one dude, this fella makes prosthetics and he showed up.

00:19:24.620 So that made me realize, look, if he can do it, I'm glad I did it.

00:19:28.660 Because this dude was probably sitting in a dungeon somewhere, you know, car, you know, carterizing a plastic elbow.

00:19:36.600 You know, or putting some, you know, putting some moles on an ankle.

00:19:40.140 And he left that to come here and just see some old classmates.

00:19:44.920 I mean, can you imagine that just being up all night, just just hammering out a mahogany knee, you know, just chipping, chipping a clavicle out of a piece of oak.

00:19:56.920 Can you imagine that?

00:19:58.220 So I'm glad.

00:20:01.280 And I didn't know he did that.

00:20:02.340 And he's tall, too.

00:20:03.220 This guy's really tall.

00:20:04.860 So he probably, you know, he has to bend down probably to chip away at some of these things or however they do it.

00:20:11.140 And this guy's making prosthetics.

00:20:12.920 And so it made me think, man, I'm just, you know, I'm glad I came.

00:20:19.540 They had a fellow that knew this guy was recently homoerotic.

00:20:24.200 And he hadn't been homoerotic when we saw him in high school.

00:20:27.100 So suddenly he's out there.

00:20:29.220 You know, he got that neck on a swivel lurking, bro.

00:20:33.860 You know what I'm saying?

00:20:34.760 He's smelling, you know, he smelled a little bit of old spice in the distance.

00:20:39.640 You know, and it's fun to watch.

00:20:41.120 It's fun to watch.

00:20:41.740 So, you know, somebody be newly gay.

00:20:43.780 And you're like, uh-oh.

00:20:46.060 Hope none of these former football, high school football players have too many cocktails at this thing.

00:20:52.800 Because they're going to be, suddenly they're going to be, somebody's going to be a wide receiver, even if they play defense.

00:20:59.760 Because we got a new hitter out here in the game.

00:21:01.720 They had a new gentleman out here.

00:21:03.900 And then you see all types of people.

00:21:05.500 You know, they had a girl in our class who, she'd lost a ton of weight.

00:21:08.540 And, you know, you could just see how inspired she felt.

00:21:12.460 And just, and how inspired, I was inspired seeing her.

00:21:14.840 I was like, wow.

00:21:16.400 You know, the commitment that, that, you know, the commitment it takes to change.

00:21:21.640 Because we just get, we get used to things.

00:21:24.080 We get comfortable in our ways.

00:21:26.480 So, yeah, there was just a lot of, it was just interesting.

00:21:31.040 You know, seeing people that were more, just more outgoing now.

00:21:36.280 You know, you see an old girl that you never asked out.

00:21:39.380 And then there she is.

00:21:42.000 You know, there was a girl that I never asked out when I was in school.

00:21:44.880 And I always, I think, had a, I think for her.

00:21:48.200 But I was just too afraid.

00:21:50.560 You know, she was just, she was so pretty.

00:21:53.760 And she was confident.

00:21:55.780 Or she was pretty to me.

00:21:57.680 You know, and she may not be pretty to everybody.

00:21:59.440 That's subjective or objective.

00:22:00.940 I don't know the difference between those things.

00:22:03.860 But I saw her.

00:22:05.120 And I just, you know, it just, it took, it takes you back.

00:22:09.000 It took me back into that nervous body that I was in for so long.

00:22:12.600 So, as a child, just that nervous.

00:22:16.320 I used to fix my hair before I left the house when I was young.

00:22:20.820 Dude, what the fuck, bruh?

00:22:25.160 Dude, if I put a comb near my hair right now,

00:22:29.280 one of my sideburns or the back of my hair,

00:22:33.860 this sweet, some people call it a mullet.

00:22:36.040 I call it the Lord's work.

00:22:38.200 But that, if I put, if I put a comb near my hair,

00:22:40.540 one of my sideburns would reach out and choke that fucking comb out.

00:22:45.920 Come on.

00:22:47.080 Come on.

00:22:49.340 So, but there I was.

00:22:50.520 I was back there.

00:22:51.340 And then, you know, it was just nice.

00:22:52.580 Because then, you know, I was talking to her for a few minutes.

00:22:54.960 And it just took me back to my nervous body.

00:22:59.340 You know, back when I, you know, I wish, I always had my,

00:23:03.500 I remember sometimes I would be so nervous as a kid,

00:23:05.440 I would have my hands just on my pants like this,

00:23:08.140 like folded up like little penguin arms as it,

00:23:10.860 even if they weren't in my pocket.

00:23:11.980 Sometimes I would put my hands just on my hips.

00:23:15.620 And I think they were in my pockets and they weren't.

00:23:18.260 And people would be like, dude, what the fuck, bruh?

00:23:22.180 Are you like just feeling your thighs, dude, out here in the hallway?

00:23:27.340 You better G up.

00:23:30.000 You better G up.

00:23:31.160 Do you need a Red Bull, baby boy?

00:23:32.600 You better G up.

00:23:33.740 Yeah, and so that's one thing I'm glad,

00:23:38.640 I'm glad that I went back because I don't have the regret.

00:23:41.580 You know, I was, you know, I was sad that I had to miss the comedy show,

00:23:44.460 but I don't have the regret of, of, of not participating, really.

00:23:49.640 I just didn't want to not be a participant.

00:23:52.840 You know, I didn't want to not honor that time in my life.

00:23:55.880 And some people couldn't.

00:23:56.940 They have children and they have, you know,

00:23:59.280 some people might have died, you know,

00:24:01.180 and they, fuck, they might've been there.

00:24:03.220 You don't know how many ghosts was there.

00:24:06.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:24:06.740 They don't do a, they don't, you know,

00:24:08.960 it's not like they had a seancer in the room

00:24:11.800 or somebody that can operate a crystal ball decently

00:24:14.280 to tell us how many, you know,

00:24:16.580 how many real G's ghosts were in the building.

00:24:19.980 So they might have had a couple spirits out there.

00:24:23.420 But it just, all of a sudden, you know,

00:24:24.940 it just reminded me of, of all these moments.

00:24:27.960 Of all these moments and just being young.

00:24:32.420 And I remember getting so high one time,

00:24:34.200 driving to school and just hit, you know,

00:24:37.140 hit some girl's car with my car.

00:24:39.580 And I got out of the car

00:24:40.840 and I didn't even know what had happened.

00:24:43.080 I thought our cars, I was like,

00:24:44.620 I remember asking her if our cars had magnets in them.

00:24:48.320 And maybe that's why they hit each other.

00:24:50.980 And she was like, what the fuck?

00:24:53.920 She's like, you hit me.

00:24:54.960 I was like, ah, I think these cars have magnets in them, dude.

00:24:58.460 And I thought they did.

00:24:59.360 I was just, I was high as hell, dude.

00:25:01.500 I was an idiot.

00:25:03.220 But when your whole body's just running on testosterone

00:25:05.720 when you're young,

00:25:07.320 when you cough and you just have,

00:25:08.980 just some testosterone will fly out of your face.

00:25:13.280 But our old principal showed up, this dude,

00:25:15.180 I thought his name was Coach Pat

00:25:16.620 and his name was Coach Rob.

00:25:18.580 I didn't, I never saw him.

00:25:20.280 You know, I saw the disciplinarian.

00:25:22.100 You know, I knew that lady.

00:25:23.120 She looked like a, kind of like a little bit like Big Bird

00:25:25.120 a little bit, but a little bit hotter.

00:25:27.320 I never thought Big Bird was attractive.

00:25:29.620 But, you know, I saw, you know, our principal.

00:25:33.800 That was cool.

00:25:35.240 And dude, on the low, he, on the DL, he told me,

00:25:38.080 and I shouldn't be, you know, maybe I'm sharing that.

00:25:40.200 But whatever.

00:25:41.960 He was like, you know, I thought,

00:25:43.600 he said, I thought so-and-so was a real bitch

00:25:47.140 back in the day.

00:25:48.200 And dude, just to hear your old principal say that

00:25:50.580 about somebody else that worked in the school system.

00:25:54.120 Amen.

00:25:55.300 That made it worth it right there.

00:25:58.040 But yeah, it was just nice to see other people.

00:26:00.120 And there were other people that showed up, you know,

00:26:02.140 one girl only went to our school for two years.

00:26:04.920 And she showed up.

00:26:06.280 And then, you know, another young lady

00:26:08.440 that's a school teacher now.

00:26:10.060 Some guy that just, you know,

00:26:11.100 his wife just got locked up.

00:26:13.060 And so he's out there free, you know.

00:26:14.860 And he got his hair, he kind of,

00:26:16.080 he got his hair kind of styled up.

00:26:17.720 And he's G'd out.

00:26:18.980 And he, you know, bought himself

00:26:20.000 some new Giorgio Armani cologne.

00:26:21.800 And he's out there stunting in a Mustang now.

00:26:24.440 But you just see people's lives just turning.

00:26:27.920 People hitting different chapters.

00:26:30.820 And so, yeah, that's why I'm glad I went.

00:26:32.680 Because at the end of the night,

00:26:34.820 I was talking to a couple of gals

00:26:36.180 and a couple of fellas

00:26:37.260 and I realized that, you know,

00:26:39.240 if we don't show up,

00:26:41.000 then there is no reunion.

00:26:43.000 That's what makes it a reunion

00:26:44.200 is people showing up.

00:26:47.000 Because, yeah,

00:26:48.160 everything we want to put on

00:26:50.480 or do or be a part of,

00:26:51.940 yeah, it could not be shit

00:26:53.680 unless we show up and participate.

00:26:56.720 So that's when I realized, look,

00:26:59.260 you know, all this thing is

00:27:00.540 is us showing up.

00:27:02.580 And that's what I'm realizing

00:27:03.700 a lot of things are.

00:27:04.700 It's just you got to show up.

00:27:06.540 You got to show up.

00:27:09.020 And then you see what happened

00:27:10.220 and I ended up having a good time.

00:27:12.340 You know, I'd stepped out of my paleo diet

00:27:14.220 because I was in Louisiana.

00:27:17.060 And dude,

00:27:17.540 bro, something will crawl

00:27:18.980 into your mouth in Louisiana.

00:27:20.820 And at first you'll be scared

00:27:21.940 because you're like,

00:27:22.500 what in the fuck is in my mouth?

00:27:25.160 But then you'll chew it up

00:27:26.420 and you'll be like,

00:27:26.880 God damn, that was good.

00:27:28.580 That was good.

00:27:30.980 And so that's just, you know,

00:27:32.260 if you don't have diets in Louisiana, really.

00:27:36.180 I mean, except for trying not to get murdered,

00:27:38.100 that's like the number one diet

00:27:39.320 in New Orleans area,

00:27:40.620 in Baton Rouge.

00:27:42.320 But it was a joy, man.

00:27:43.660 It was a joy just seeing people

00:27:45.140 and, you know,

00:27:46.380 just seeing what everybody's going through.

00:27:48.540 And seeing that dude

00:27:49.260 would have made prosthetics,

00:27:50.380 you know,

00:27:50.620 that shit's amazing to me.

00:27:52.620 Imagine having that extra leg.

00:27:55.020 Imagine having that detachable leg.

00:27:56.980 You're trying to go out,

00:27:58.260 you know,

00:27:58.500 maybe you're going fishing

00:27:59.380 and you want to keep

00:28:00.300 some of your nice legs dry.

00:28:02.320 So you put on some,

00:28:03.940 you know,

00:28:04.440 some linoleum,

00:28:05.980 you know,

00:28:06.760 baby boys.

00:28:08.620 You know,

00:28:08.980 you set,

00:28:09.460 you, you know,

00:28:10.240 you screw in a couple of,

00:28:11.340 a couple of,

00:28:14.000 not mahogany,

00:28:16.000 but

00:28:16.240 a couple of velour

00:28:20.520 hips or something.

00:28:22.720 You know,

00:28:22.920 you screw in some,

00:28:24.900 some velour

00:28:27.200 calves

00:28:28.220 and ankles.

00:28:29.640 Imagine that.

00:28:31.060 Or you want,

00:28:31.500 you know,

00:28:31.680 you're just going to relax

00:28:32.520 in the other room

00:28:33.140 and read.

00:28:34.160 So you put on some

00:28:35.260 fucking goose skin

00:28:36.340 famers.

00:28:39.340 Imagine that.

00:28:40.200 That's the future.

00:28:41.940 That's the future.

00:28:43.720 You know,

00:28:44.260 a lot of things

00:28:44.800 are going to change

00:28:45.320 in the future

00:28:45.660 that people haven't

00:28:46.280 started to think about.

00:28:47.880 And one of those things

00:28:48.740 is you're going to have pants

00:28:49.840 in the future.

00:28:51.080 They're going to have pants

00:28:52.100 that if you want,

00:28:53.640 you want to go run,

00:28:54.800 put on your jogging pants

00:28:56.140 and old jogging pants.

00:28:58.120 The ones we have right now,

00:28:58.960 they don't do shit.

00:28:59.760 You still got to jog.

00:29:01.220 They're just really just pants.

00:29:03.840 False advertising.

00:29:04.980 But in the future,

00:29:07.040 in

00:29:07.460 la futura,

00:29:08.580 you're going to put on

00:29:10.200 some jogging pants

00:29:10.960 that are going to,

00:29:11.660 and you're going to

00:29:11.980 press a button

00:29:12.520 and those bitches

00:29:13.340 are going to go

00:29:13.760 about four miles.

00:29:15.480 So you better be ready.

00:29:19.440 Dude,

00:29:19.840 can you imagine

00:29:20.420 how great that's going to be

00:29:21.260 when you have pants

00:29:22.120 and you press that button

00:29:23.340 and then you're off?

00:29:25.260 You could be tight.

00:29:26.640 You could text

00:29:27.260 while you're in them.

00:29:27.960 You could do what you want.

00:29:29.220 You just got to wave

00:29:30.120 every now and then

00:29:30.660 when you pass the neighbors

00:29:31.660 or you got to whistle

00:29:32.960 every now and then

00:29:33.820 when you pass somebody

00:29:34.900 that's sexy

00:29:35.540 and it could be a man

00:29:36.780 or a woman.

00:29:37.560 I'm not talking about

00:29:38.260 just cat calling women.

00:29:40.320 People get upset about that.

00:29:43.020 But those new,

00:29:43.840 you're going to have

00:29:44.280 karate kick pants.

00:29:46.240 Somebody's talking shit.

00:29:47.740 You're going out

00:29:48.300 to the club,

00:29:48.920 whatever.

00:29:50.240 Put on them bad cats.

00:29:52.660 Put on them

00:29:53.300 strike force jeans.

00:29:55.500 It's going to say

00:29:55.900 strike force

00:29:57.040 down the side.

00:29:58.840 And first you out there

00:29:59.640 doing a little bit

00:30:00.140 of cap aware

00:30:00.820 and then shut down.

00:30:02.720 You hit somebody

00:30:03.540 with that electric foot.

00:30:06.580 And that's the type

00:30:07.540 of stuff we're going

00:30:08.040 to have in the future.

00:30:09.360 We're going to have

00:30:09.920 types of clothes

00:30:10.640 that will activate

00:30:11.480 to do what we want to do.

00:30:14.040 You know,

00:30:14.520 you're going to have

00:30:14.920 one of them hug sweaters.

00:30:16.760 Be like,

00:30:17.160 oh shit.

00:30:19.440 Aunt Mary wore

00:30:20.840 her hug sweater.

00:30:23.920 She's going to be,

00:30:24.700 and last year

00:30:25.380 it malfunctioned.

00:30:27.820 So she was just,

00:30:29.120 you know,

00:30:30.100 she wouldn't let go

00:30:30.880 of the dog

00:30:31.380 for an hour

00:30:32.060 because you won't

00:30:33.080 have that hug sweater

00:30:34.040 just,

00:30:34.860 you just start

00:30:35.520 hugging people.

00:30:37.080 I love you.

00:30:39.160 I love you.

00:30:39.880 I love you.

00:30:40.980 And that thing

00:30:41.600 shorts out a little bit

00:30:42.560 and next thing you know

00:30:43.080 you get electrocuted.

00:30:45.260 So anything's possible

00:30:46.420 is what I'm saying.

00:30:47.860 But yeah,

00:30:48.200 I'm glad that I went home.

00:30:50.100 Man,

00:30:50.480 this podcast

00:30:50.980 is starting to catch up.

00:30:52.000 Look,

00:30:52.160 I was in,

00:30:53.180 I went to meet my sister.

00:30:54.380 My sister has two

00:30:55.020 beautiful children

00:30:55.800 and I love them

00:30:57.980 and they're so,

00:30:59.580 you know,

00:31:00.080 they love me.

00:31:00.640 They think I'm funny

00:31:01.500 and that makes me feel good.

00:31:03.460 You know,

00:31:03.700 they think I'm like

00:31:04.300 a goofy guy

00:31:05.260 and that's fun

00:31:06.800 because I get to be

00:31:07.760 that around them.

00:31:09.200 And so we went to pizza

00:31:10.180 and they live out

00:31:11.800 in the country.

00:31:12.420 I mean,

00:31:12.560 they live by the interstate.

00:31:14.360 Like it's one of those houses

00:31:15.560 where when you're driving

00:31:16.220 by on the interstate,

00:31:17.140 you're like,

00:31:17.700 dang,

00:31:18.240 they shouldn't live

00:31:19.200 that close

00:31:20.160 to the interstate.

00:31:23.540 And they got a bass.

00:31:24.700 They have a fish tank

00:31:25.440 with a bass in it

00:31:26.380 and it can't,

00:31:27.020 the bass can't even

00:31:27.560 turn around.

00:31:28.980 The bass is too big.

00:31:31.260 The tank is just about

00:31:32.140 the size of like a shoebox.

00:31:33.400 So the bass,

00:31:34.080 they have to feed it

00:31:34.960 just at the front

00:31:36.280 of the tank

00:31:37.060 because the bass

00:31:37.860 can't even,

00:31:39.300 that's just a one-way fish.

00:31:42.220 And we went,

00:31:43.460 I went and met my sister

00:31:44.380 and my mom was going

00:31:45.000 to meet us

00:31:45.560 and then my mom

00:31:46.380 couldn't come

00:31:47.040 and my feelings

00:31:49.340 got a little bit hurt.

00:31:51.760 You know,

00:31:52.360 because I guess,

00:31:53.220 you know,

00:31:55.660 when my relationship

00:31:56.520 with my mother

00:31:57.020 has been,

00:31:57.540 I've always felt

00:31:58.340 and I just realized this,

00:32:00.140 when I was there,

00:32:01.020 we were going to meet up

00:32:01.540 with my mom

00:32:01.900 and then she couldn't come.

00:32:02.700 She had to work.

00:32:03.840 And my mom does delivery,

00:32:05.040 you know,

00:32:05.200 she delivers,

00:32:05.900 you know,

00:32:06.320 magazines and newspapers

00:32:07.480 and that

00:32:07.960 and she got a delivery

00:32:09.060 called and she had to do it.

00:32:10.700 And I respect that

00:32:11.660 because she has to work,

00:32:12.680 you know,

00:32:12.780 she has to survive.

00:32:16.100 And,

00:32:16.420 and she got her husband,

00:32:18.320 Mr. Charlie,

00:32:18.940 and he got Alzheimer's.

00:32:20.600 And that's when your brain

00:32:21.660 goes to heaven

00:32:22.220 but you still down here

00:32:23.120 fucking milling around.

00:32:25.440 And so,

00:32:26.740 he got,

00:32:27.620 you know,

00:32:27.860 he's over,

00:32:29.320 you know,

00:32:29.540 he's out,

00:32:29.960 he's sitting in the passenger seat

00:32:30.980 so he has to go

00:32:31.760 everywhere she goes.

00:32:33.240 So my mom's out there

00:32:34.280 in that van,

00:32:35.200 in that windowless van,

00:32:37.400 you know,

00:32:37.780 just dropping off,

00:32:39.600 you know,

00:32:40.220 magazines and,

00:32:41.220 you know,

00:32:41.740 specialty booklets

00:32:43.380 and Mr. Charlie's

00:32:45.020 just out there just,

00:32:46.660 you know,

00:32:47.040 he's out there

00:32:47.580 Apollo 13

00:32:48.480 and bruh,

00:32:48.980 he's out there

00:32:50.560 just working freelance

00:32:51.720 in his own skin.

00:32:54.620 But she couldn't come,

00:32:55.700 man,

00:32:55.800 and it made me think,

00:32:56.520 you know what,

00:32:56.920 and at first it hurt my feelings

00:32:58.460 and I was kind of mad at her.

00:33:00.900 But then I was trying to think,

00:33:02.080 well,

00:33:02.160 why am I mad?

00:33:04.240 And I guess

00:33:04.900 a lot of times for me,

00:33:06.260 my mother has always had to work.

00:33:08.340 You know,

00:33:08.540 the hardest working man

00:33:09.380 I've ever known

00:33:10.180 was my mother.

00:33:11.780 And so,

00:33:13.480 you know,

00:33:14.540 I guess I was just mad

00:33:15.480 because she wasn't available.

00:33:16.480 You know,

00:33:18.740 it's always like my whole life,

00:33:20.060 every time I've tried to like

00:33:20.920 do something special for my mom

00:33:22.340 or,

00:33:22.700 because I was trying to surprise her,

00:33:23.920 that's the thing.

00:33:24.760 I was trying to surprise her

00:33:26.020 by meeting up with my nieces

00:33:27.600 and going to dinner with her.

00:33:30.620 And,

00:33:31.220 and so,

00:33:33.460 and she couldn't come,

00:33:34.340 you know,

00:33:34.520 and I think that's,

00:33:35.580 and it just kind of,

00:33:36.880 I don't know,

00:33:37.560 man,

00:33:37.740 it's kind of lame,

00:33:38.480 I guess,

00:33:38.840 or not lame,

00:33:39.520 but,

00:33:40.780 you know,

00:33:41.040 it just,

00:33:41.580 most of my life,

00:33:42.220 my mother hasn't been available.

00:33:44.520 You know,

00:33:44.960 she's always been busy.

00:33:45.940 She's always had something to do.

00:33:47.060 She's always felt a lot of pressure to,

00:33:49.600 and I don't know where it comes from,

00:33:51.580 you know,

00:33:51.760 because I wasn't there

00:33:52.340 when my mother was a child,

00:33:53.380 but she's always just been so busy

00:33:57.480 that it's hard to get her out of

00:33:59.520 whatever her busy is.

00:34:03.080 It's hard.

00:34:03.720 It's hard to get a moment with her

00:34:05.000 where I feel like we just can be

00:34:07.720 okay around each other

00:34:10.380 and okay together.

00:34:11.340 And so that shit kind of hurt my feelings,

00:34:13.560 but I had to just swallow it.

00:34:15.260 I had to shut up and just say nothing

00:34:16.420 because what am I going to,

00:34:18.440 you know,

00:34:19.240 you know,

00:34:20.420 I just have to be grateful

00:34:21.360 that my mother has work

00:34:22.500 and that she is able to work

00:34:25.780 because she likes to work.

00:34:27.840 And that's all I can do.

00:34:30.020 You know,

00:34:30.920 at this point,

00:34:31.500 it's not worth sometimes saying the things.

00:34:33.940 It's just,

00:34:34.600 you know,

00:34:34.720 I just tell her I love her

00:34:35.640 and we go on

00:34:36.400 and that's it.

00:34:37.660 You know,

00:34:39.120 at some point,

00:34:39.880 it's like,

00:34:41.220 if I'm just playing old songs

00:34:43.640 from back,

00:34:44.040 you know,

00:34:45.040 complain,

00:34:45.700 you know,

00:34:45.920 and just,

00:34:46.960 it is what it is.

00:34:47.840 What am I going to do?

00:34:49.540 You know,

00:34:49.780 I can let her know,

00:34:50.620 oh,

00:34:50.780 you know,

00:34:50.940 I really wish we could spend more time together.

00:34:52.520 Those are things that I can do,

00:34:53.680 but to sit there

00:34:55.340 and hold it against her

00:34:56.220 and then my mother still has to work,

00:34:57.660 but now she has to feel bad.

00:34:59.460 You know,

00:34:59.820 that's just what I didn't want to do.

00:35:00.800 So I had to swallow my own ego

00:35:02.080 and stuff

00:35:02.740 and just kind of get through that moment.

00:35:07.120 But a lot of sacrificers out there,

00:35:10.500 you know,

00:35:11.020 a lot of people sacrifice for our country.

00:35:13.420 A lot of women and men have sacrificed

00:35:15.160 for their family,

00:35:16.100 their time,

00:35:17.280 their dreams.

00:35:19.720 You know,

00:35:19.860 sometimes I don't think we,

00:35:20.860 you know,

00:35:21.100 I don't ever think about that.

00:35:22.220 Like,

00:35:22.340 I wonder what my mom's dreams were

00:35:24.120 when she was little.

00:35:27.580 And I wonder if in the future

00:35:28.640 we'll be able to travel back

00:35:29.780 into our,

00:35:30.260 into our,

00:35:30.820 like our,

00:35:31.220 and through our genetics

00:35:33.240 into our parents

00:35:36.400 and our grandparents' thoughts.

00:35:38.220 Wouldn't that be fascinating?

00:35:41.100 Like,

00:35:41.540 you're not traveling through time

00:35:42.680 because that seems,

00:35:44.040 I don't think it seems far-fetched,

00:35:46.360 you know,

00:35:46.940 because we have those moments of,

00:35:49.000 you know,

00:35:49.540 man,

00:35:49.760 I feel like I've been here before.

00:35:52.400 But,

00:35:52.900 but to travel through our genetics

00:35:55.540 to me seems more plausible.

00:35:58.740 You know,

00:35:59.280 because that's a real thing

00:36:00.280 that's living inside of us.

00:36:02.660 And I definitely feel like

00:36:03.920 our bodies have memory.

00:36:06.340 I feel sometimes like

00:36:07.160 there's a brain in my heart.

00:36:09.460 You know,

00:36:09.920 because I'll get feelings

00:36:10.620 in my heart that are,

00:36:12.360 they're more than just a,

00:36:15.000 an ache

00:36:15.840 or a want.

00:36:18.300 It's a,

00:36:18.920 sometimes in my heart

00:36:19.760 I can feel

00:36:20.400 like a,

00:36:22.020 almost a,

00:36:23.580 like it's,

00:36:24.200 like my heart is like curious

00:36:25.460 or like my heart is thinking.

00:36:27.900 And that may sound crazy

00:36:29.200 and that's just me

00:36:30.080 explaining

00:36:30.720 some of the feelings

00:36:32.180 that I have.

00:36:33.480 But,

00:36:34.220 I think

00:36:35.300 we're going to really

00:36:36.060 start to find

00:36:36.920 that,

00:36:38.900 that our bodies

00:36:40.720 have so much

00:36:41.500 more

00:36:42.420 ability

00:36:43.900 to mem,

00:36:44.740 to memorize

00:36:45.320 and to think

00:36:46.240 than we realize

00:36:48.660 and not just

00:36:49.220 our brains.

00:36:50.860 Because,

00:36:51.180 even I'll say this,

00:36:51.920 man,

00:36:52.000 I've been on this

00:36:52.420 paleo diet,

00:36:54.200 you know,

00:36:54.900 and paleo's diet is,

00:36:56.540 it's basically

00:36:57.140 you're a scavenger,

00:36:58.220 you're a hunter.

00:36:59.540 I mean,

00:36:59.820 you could fucking kill

00:37:00.480 somebody in a parking lot,

00:37:02.240 you know,

00:37:02.640 in the afternoon

00:37:03.260 and you won't think

00:37:03.840 twice about it.

00:37:04.860 And that's what's,

00:37:05.520 you know,

00:37:05.780 it's really interesting

00:37:06.500 about the diet

00:37:07.220 is it's,

00:37:08.600 you know,

00:37:09.120 apparently

00:37:09.480 you can have

00:37:10.620 fruits,

00:37:12.480 you can have lean meat

00:37:13.540 and you can murder.

00:37:15.280 Those are all okay

00:37:16.060 on this diet

00:37:16.600 and eggs.

00:37:17.200 And pure maple syrup

00:37:19.580 for a sweetener.

00:37:21.080 But,

00:37:22.240 I start to,

00:37:22.940 I start to realize

00:37:23.820 like,

00:37:24.820 now I start to notice

00:37:25.920 that I eat

00:37:26.500 only because I need to eat.

00:37:28.500 And my body

00:37:29.540 doesn't feel as addicted

00:37:30.540 to whatever like

00:37:32.500 chemicals and extra

00:37:33.360 preservatives and things

00:37:34.200 like that that are in

00:37:35.000 a lot of processed foods.

00:37:36.880 I'm not saying I'll always

00:37:37.760 be on this diet,

00:37:38.420 I'm not preaching at you,

00:37:39.240 I'm just telling you shit

00:37:40.100 I don't notice.

00:37:41.580 So I notice that.

00:37:43.620 Like,

00:37:43.860 so my stomach

00:37:44.900 doesn't get real hungry.

00:37:46.040 I have a thought

00:37:47.760 that I,

00:37:48.460 instead of a memory

00:37:50.320 that comes from my stomach,

00:37:51.500 my stomach like being like,

00:37:53.680 oh,

00:37:53.780 I need to eat,

00:37:54.320 I need to eat,

00:37:54.860 I'm starving.

00:37:56.520 Instead,

00:37:56.960 I get a thought in my head

00:37:57.840 that says,

00:37:58.480 hey,

00:37:58.800 it's probably time to eat.

00:38:00.780 You know,

00:38:01.060 you should eat

00:38:01.540 in the next couple hours.

00:38:03.120 It's more of a survival,

00:38:04.560 it's more instinctual.

00:38:06.400 But I'm noticing that

00:38:07.760 before I would get this,

00:38:10.100 almost like this addiction

00:38:11.360 or this craving,

00:38:14.580 like this memory

00:38:15.320 that my stomach had

00:38:16.380 of whatever chemicals

00:38:18.980 I was putting into it

00:38:19.920 or whatever preservatives

00:38:21.000 and stuff

00:38:21.280 were going into my stomach.

00:38:22.820 And I don't get that now.

00:38:24.620 And so that's another thing

00:38:25.420 that's making me think,

00:38:26.300 oh,

00:38:26.440 well,

00:38:27.040 maybe our stomachs do have,

00:38:28.580 and our other organs

00:38:29.560 do have a lot more memory

00:38:30.600 than we think they do.

00:38:32.480 Now that's,

00:38:32.960 imagine that.

00:38:34.920 If you could,

00:38:35.580 if you,

00:38:37.100 who knows,

00:38:38.140 who knows what the future has.

00:38:39.980 You know as sure as hell

00:38:41.500 they're going to have a hat

00:38:42.180 that can comb your hair.

00:38:44.480 Damn.

00:38:45.740 You see fucking Rhonda

00:38:47.300 put on that top hat

00:38:49.300 and she's fucking

00:38:50.080 permed up an hour later.

00:38:52.120 Got to get me one of those.

00:38:54.140 I want that.

00:38:55.560 I want that boat.

00:38:58.340 So those are some things

00:38:59.560 that have just been going

00:39:00.200 through my head.

00:39:02.100 You know,

00:39:02.920 it is what it is.

00:39:06.120 It is what it is.

00:39:07.260 But yeah,

00:39:07.540 I had a good time,

00:39:08.300 man.

00:39:08.380 I spent some time

00:39:09.240 with one of my friends.

00:39:11.160 We went around,

00:39:12.720 you know,

00:39:13.040 and we got dressed up

00:39:13.960 and we went over

00:39:14.520 to that high school reunion

00:39:15.600 and we made the most of it.

00:39:17.680 And we didn't have a DJ

00:39:18.740 at that thing

00:39:19.340 because,

00:39:19.660 you know,

00:39:20.140 not enough people came.

00:39:21.180 We couldn't afford that DJ.

00:39:22.860 But somebody started singing

00:39:24.160 a little bit in the evening.

00:39:26.320 And,

00:39:26.680 and what else?

00:39:28.000 It was just a nice flight.

00:39:29.000 I saw Arsenio Hall

00:39:29.980 on the way back.

00:39:31.060 And so that was pretty cool

00:39:32.220 because Arsenio

00:39:32.980 was the first

00:39:33.720 and the only

00:39:35.260 late night talk show host

00:39:36.640 who would put me

00:39:37.160 on his show

00:39:37.760 to do stand-up comedy.

00:39:40.380 And this is about

00:39:40.920 four years ago

00:39:41.500 and all the other ones

00:39:42.080 passed on my tape

00:39:43.080 and,

00:39:44.220 and he put me on.

00:39:46.020 And it made me wonder also

00:39:47.260 why are all the

00:39:48.380 late night talk show hosts

00:39:49.340 white?

00:39:51.940 You know,

00:39:52.380 I'm not saying

00:39:52.840 there's anything wrong

00:39:53.640 with them being white

00:39:54.360 or not being white

00:39:55.040 but it seems a little,

00:39:58.140 you know,

00:39:58.680 like I wouldn't mind

00:39:59.640 somebody that's mixed

00:40:01.780 at the least.

00:40:04.140 You know,

00:40:04.680 you guys can't get

00:40:05.380 at least a,

00:40:06.060 a white person

00:40:07.220 that was raised

00:40:07.760 by black parents.

00:40:10.500 You know,

00:40:10.720 let's get,

00:40:10.940 or what about

00:40:11.380 a sweet,

00:40:11.980 a beautiful Asian?

00:40:13.020 Or how about

00:40:13.580 a sweet Latino?

00:40:15.800 That nighttime

00:40:16.720 vialo.

00:40:19.240 You know,

00:40:19.680 I just wouldn't mind

00:40:20.180 seeing,

00:40:20.520 you know,

00:40:20.820 they really got it

00:40:21.440 cornered out there

00:40:22.160 with these whites

00:40:22.800 on these late night shows.

00:40:25.300 But then sometimes

00:40:26.120 I just want to see

00:40:26.820 diversity and things

00:40:28.100 just to make it

00:40:28.800 more interesting.

00:40:30.660 You know,

00:40:31.100 a lot of,

00:40:31.480 I don't,

00:40:31.720 you know,

00:40:31.900 I agree sometimes

00:40:32.460 with the forced

00:40:33.080 diversity thing.

00:40:33.860 I don't like it

00:40:34.560 because I don't know

00:40:35.980 if it,

00:40:36.180 if it,

00:40:36.580 if it imitates

00:40:37.400 life sometimes

00:40:38.360 but it's just

00:40:39.140 like the NBA.

00:40:40.900 The NBA gets

00:40:41.780 really boring to me

00:40:42.680 because it's

00:40:43.180 all tall black men.

00:40:46.200 It's just,

00:40:47.020 because here's why,

00:40:47.720 because when I watch it

00:40:48.380 I don't feel like

00:40:48.940 everybody has a chance

00:40:49.920 to be in it.

00:40:51.080 So for me

00:40:51.620 I lose that allure.

00:40:53.460 You know,

00:40:53.700 it's like,

00:40:54.020 oh,

00:40:54.200 I can't even,

00:40:55.100 I'd have no shot

00:40:55.960 to be in this.

00:40:57.080 What about that

00:40:57.720 50 year old,

00:40:59.100 you know,

00:40:59.860 Vietnamese gunner

00:41:00.940 out on the three-point line.

00:41:02.120 You know you want

00:41:02.680 to see that dude.

00:41:04.600 Whatever his name is,

00:41:05.580 little Starbuck

00:41:06.420 or whatever.

00:41:07.680 You know you want

00:41:08.260 to see Starbuck

00:41:09.200 out there

00:41:09.800 at that three-point stripe

00:41:11.660 wearing pants,

00:41:13.200 dude.

00:41:14.340 And if you don't know

00:41:15.240 that a lot of

00:41:15.800 Vietnamese men

00:41:16.440 play basketball

00:41:17.080 in pants,

00:41:17.640 then you don't know.

00:41:19.460 Get out there

00:41:20.040 and meet some men

00:41:21.000 because they got

00:41:22.780 men out there,

00:41:23.860 some beautiful

00:41:24.420 viettes out there,

00:41:26.360 just pantalonis,

00:41:28.560 fashionis,

00:41:29.280 boy,

00:41:29.680 and just gunning

00:41:30.440 from deep.

00:41:31.860 Dude,

00:41:32.080 you'll see a guy

00:41:32.680 shoot from 70 feet

00:41:33.780 with a volleyball.

00:41:35.580 Bang,

00:41:36.120 bang.

00:41:37.160 That's a nine-pointer,

00:41:38.520 baby.

00:41:40.360 So I'm just saying

00:41:41.340 that I would like

00:41:42.320 to see that.

00:41:43.960 You know,

00:41:44.360 you telling me

00:41:45.320 you can't find

00:41:46.100 a Kobe Bryant,

00:41:50.300 a little Japanese guy

00:41:52.040 or a Mexican guy?

00:41:54.200 Dude,

00:41:54.640 come on.

00:41:55.600 Yeah.

00:41:57.180 I just want,

00:41:57.900 you know,

00:41:58.100 I want to see it

00:41:58.900 because I want

00:41:59.340 to see it.

00:42:00.480 Then that seems

00:42:01.180 like more of a team.

00:42:02.140 That's more of a

00:42:03.300 sport that

00:42:04.320 exemplifies everything.

00:42:07.860 You know,

00:42:08.360 that's why I want

00:42:08.780 to see a golfer

00:42:09.480 in a wheelchair

00:42:10.380 and put him

00:42:11.200 in the fucking,

00:42:12.320 you know,

00:42:12.560 I want to see him

00:42:13.020 set a break

00:42:13.620 on a really steep hill

00:42:14.700 and fucking hit

00:42:16.080 that six iron.

00:42:19.340 A hundred and

00:42:19.980 a hundred and

00:42:20.900 forty yards.

00:42:22.180 I want to see

00:42:22.700 people set it off.

00:42:25.060 You know,

00:42:25.380 and sure,

00:42:25.800 shit gets risky

00:42:26.900 on that hillside

00:42:27.680 if it's windy

00:42:28.300 or if it's slow,

00:42:29.900 you know,

00:42:30.220 if there's a

00:42:30.800 small avalanche,

00:42:32.720 but whatever,

00:42:34.100 you got to get

00:42:34.560 a little bit

00:42:34.820 extra insurance

00:42:35.520 on that guy

00:42:36.180 because he's out

00:42:37.600 there.

00:42:38.660 But,

00:42:39.180 you know,

00:42:39.460 I wouldn't mind

00:42:39.900 seeing that

00:42:40.640 or seeing somebody

00:42:42.600 with no arms

00:42:43.500 be in the swim

00:42:44.700 competition,

00:42:45.740 get in the pool.

00:42:47.380 That's Sally

00:42:48.100 right there

00:42:48.800 and they call him

00:42:50.240 Sally Mander

00:42:51.100 and that

00:42:51.960 doobie out

00:42:52.560 there just,

00:42:53.900 just face

00:42:55.900 first,

00:42:56.520 boy,

00:42:56.780 just snaking,

00:42:57.980 just snaking

00:43:00.140 through that

00:43:00.920 and I want,

00:43:01.840 that's the vibe

00:43:02.420 I want to see

00:43:03.060 that Viallo.

00:43:05.040 I don't,

00:43:05.260 you know,

00:43:05.520 mix it all

00:43:06.260 together,

00:43:06.500 let's see who

00:43:07.040 really wins

00:43:07.640 this shit.

00:43:09.900 That's what I

00:43:10.480 want to see

00:43:10.860 sometimes.

00:43:11.300 I just want

00:43:11.640 to see,

00:43:12.320 I don't want

00:43:12.700 forced diversity,

00:43:13.640 but I want

00:43:13.920 to see things

00:43:14.500 mixed,

00:43:14.980 but so that

00:43:15.460 it just feels

00:43:16.780 like fucking

00:43:17.360 reality.

00:43:18.080 because you're

00:43:20.260 telling me

00:43:20.540 this dude,

00:43:21.060 they got men

00:43:21.600 out there

00:43:21.840 seven feet

00:43:22.520 tall and

00:43:23.380 the goal

00:43:24.240 is only

00:43:24.540 ten feet.

00:43:25.660 That's not

00:43:26.120 hard to play

00:43:26.680 on,

00:43:26.980 dude.

00:43:28.280 That's easy

00:43:29.240 and matter

00:43:30.440 of fact,

00:43:30.740 that's easy.

00:43:32.880 Put that

00:43:33.440 thing at

00:43:33.760 thirteen feet.

00:43:35.260 Let's see

00:43:35.780 who's a real

00:43:36.440 moonwalker

00:43:37.120 then.

00:43:39.200 Sorry,

00:43:39.640 I didn't mean

00:43:39.840 to go off,

00:43:40.400 but I just

00:43:40.760 get cued in

00:43:41.540 and I get

00:43:42.060 fired up.

00:43:43.400 But thank you

00:43:44.040 guys for being

00:43:44.780 here on this

00:43:45.140 past weekend.

00:43:45.660 You know what's

00:43:46.020 crazy?

00:43:46.340 We're coming

00:43:46.640 up on a

00:43:47.060 hundred

00:43:47.440 episodes.

00:43:50.220 Isn't that

00:43:50.720 wild?

00:43:51.440 A hundred

00:43:51.940 episodes.

00:43:53.700 And I

00:43:53.960 remember we

00:43:54.280 started this

00:43:54.760 thing on

00:43:55.060 December,

00:43:56.240 I want to

00:43:56.700 say December

00:43:57.180 19th or

00:43:58.940 December 18th.

00:44:00.060 I don't even

00:44:00.400 know,

00:44:00.780 honestly.

00:44:01.380 I should

00:44:01.660 look.

00:44:02.960 But man,

00:44:03.440 I want to

00:44:03.680 thank you

00:44:03.960 guys so

00:44:04.320 much for

00:44:04.580 being here

00:44:04.840 with us

00:44:05.100 so far

00:44:05.920 and things

00:44:06.580 are growing

00:44:07.000 so fast

00:44:07.600 and we

00:44:07.760 have so

00:44:07.980 much neat

00:44:08.340 stuff happening

00:44:08.980 and I

00:44:10.240 really,

00:44:10.560 really want

00:44:10.740 to thank

00:44:11.020 you guys.

00:44:11.960 I want to

00:44:12.340 say we

00:44:12.600 have some

00:44:13.200 great dates

00:44:14.520 coming up.

00:44:15.100 One of

00:44:15.340 those is

00:44:15.640 going to be

00:44:15.900 in West

00:44:16.320 Siloam

00:44:16.860 Springs and

00:44:18.480 that's coming

00:44:19.080 up at

00:44:19.500 Cherokee

00:44:19.920 Casino,

00:44:20.740 West

00:44:20.920 Siloam

00:44:21.260 Springs,

00:44:21.640 Oklahoma.

00:44:22.380 Now,

00:44:22.640 if you

00:44:22.880 know somebody

00:44:23.320 in that

00:44:23.600 area that's

00:44:24.140 a single

00:44:24.660 mother who

00:44:25.980 doesn't

00:44:26.360 usually get

00:44:26.940 out that

00:44:27.980 we could

00:44:28.820 accommodate

00:44:29.440 their evening,

00:44:30.880 take care of

00:44:32.140 them,

00:44:32.380 get them and

00:44:32.800 a friend out

00:44:33.260 to a show

00:44:33.820 and take care

00:44:34.620 of their

00:44:34.820 babysitter,

00:44:35.860 let us know.

00:44:37.020 and you

00:44:37.520 and you

00:44:37.540 can hit

00:44:37.800 me up

00:44:38.160 theovon.com

00:44:40.460 under

00:44:41.700 contact on

00:44:42.680 there or

00:44:43.640 theovon.com

00:44:44.600 slash podcast.

00:44:45.720 There's a way

00:44:45.980 to get in

00:44:46.340 touch right

00:44:46.740 there and

00:44:47.980 you may not

00:44:49.180 know anybody

00:44:49.580 and that's

00:44:50.020 fine and I

00:44:50.980 wouldn't say

00:44:51.360 anything to

00:44:51.820 them yet or

00:44:52.440 anything like

00:44:52.880 that but if

00:44:53.740 you do know

00:44:54.340 somebody in

00:44:54.980 that area,

00:44:55.640 Cherokee

00:44:55.880 Casino,

00:44:56.400 I'll be there

00:44:56.720 June 9th and

00:44:57.740 that's in two

00:44:58.320 weeks,

00:44:59.500 West Siloam

00:45:00.100 Springs,

00:45:00.500 Oklahoma.

00:45:00.960 Hit us up on

00:45:01.360 the hotline or

00:45:02.580 through the

00:45:03.800 website and

00:45:05.560 let us know

00:45:06.220 and we're

00:45:06.840 going to see

00:45:07.100 if we can't

00:45:07.500 do something

00:45:07.800 nice out

00:45:08.260 there for

00:45:08.720 a single

00:45:09.480 mom and

00:45:09.840 get this

00:45:10.120 little program

00:45:10.780 rolling.

00:45:11.860 June 15th

00:45:12.600 through 16th,

00:45:13.280 Yuck Yucks,

00:45:13.860 Calgary,

00:45:14.700 Alberta,

00:45:15.220 Canada.

00:45:15.940 June 23rd,

00:45:16.760 Timbler Brewing

00:45:17.560 Company,

00:45:18.060 Bakersfield.

00:45:18.840 We just

00:45:19.100 added a

00:45:19.480 second show.

00:45:20.660 June 29th,

00:45:21.980 I'll be at

00:45:22.300 the Paramount

00:45:22.800 Theater in

00:45:23.380 Stark County,

00:45:24.400 Illinois and

00:45:26.140 that's in the

00:45:26.740 town of

00:45:27.120 Wyoming,

00:45:28.040 Illinois and

00:45:28.720 that's a

00:45:29.060 fundraiser.

00:45:30.120 July 6th

00:45:30.920 through the

00:45:31.180 8th at

00:45:31.800 Levity Live

00:45:32.760 in Oxnard,

00:45:33.520 California.

00:45:34.520 July 20th

00:45:35.280 through the

00:45:35.520 22nd,

00:45:36.260 Charlie Good

00:45:36.840 Nights,

00:45:37.580 Raleigh,

00:45:38.180 North Carolina.

00:45:39.980 August 16th

00:45:41.600 through 18th,

00:45:42.320 Laugh Factory,

00:45:42.940 Chicago.

00:45:43.680 September 14th

00:45:44.800 and 15th,

00:45:45.760 that's Zaney's

00:45:46.420 in Nashville,

00:45:46.980 Tennessee.

00:45:47.500 October 18th

00:45:48.520 through the

00:45:48.800 20th,

00:45:49.420 that's Skyline

00:45:50.180 Comedy Club,

00:45:51.040 Appleton,

00:45:51.480 Wisconsin.

00:45:52.340 November 1

00:45:52.960 through 3,

00:45:53.880 Helium Comedy

00:45:54.680 Club,

00:45:55.380 Buffalo,

00:45:55.800 New York.

00:45:56.320 We're also

00:45:56.800 adding dates,

00:45:57.700 I believe,

00:45:58.580 for Toronto

00:45:59.460 and who knows

00:46:00.940 where else.

00:46:02.160 All right,

00:46:02.640 the hotline

00:46:03.420 as always

00:46:03.780 is 985-664-9503.

00:46:07.420 Let's get

00:46:07.860 into a few

00:46:08.200 calls here.

00:46:09.280 Here we go.

00:46:10.600 Hey Leo,

00:46:11.120 this is John.

00:46:12.520 It's Theo,

00:46:13.460 but let's hear

00:46:13.920 more John.

00:46:14.460 Thank you

00:46:14.640 for calling.

00:46:15.300 Amelia.

00:46:16.440 And Tom.

00:46:17.540 And my

00:46:17.820 two cats.

00:46:19.180 John,

00:46:19.720 Amelia,

00:46:20.160 Tom,

00:46:20.500 and two cats.

00:46:21.640 Boy,

00:46:21.980 that sounds

00:46:22.220 like a low-key

00:46:24.060 swingers meet-up

00:46:25.000 over there

00:46:25.380 in Connecticut

00:46:25.900 or something.

00:46:26.460 That sounds

00:46:26.680 like something

00:46:27.000 rich people

00:46:27.560 doing.

00:46:28.180 Onwards.

00:46:28.520 And we

00:46:29.300 got a story

00:46:29.900 for you.

00:46:30.680 So we live

00:46:31.340 in this town

00:46:31.900 called Colesnick,

00:46:33.020 New Jersey.

00:46:33.700 It's in New Jersey

00:46:34.380 and right next

00:46:35.560 to us is a town

00:46:36.340 called Holmdel.

00:46:37.660 And just the

00:46:38.560 other day,

00:46:39.180 a story broke

00:46:40.060 where the Holmdel

00:46:40.980 High School

00:46:41.640 superintendent

00:46:42.920 was found out

00:46:44.420 to be shitting

00:46:45.540 on the track

00:46:46.840 of their school.

00:46:48.860 Okay,

00:46:49.300 so you're

00:46:49.520 talking about

00:46:50.000 defecation,

00:46:51.300 athletics,

00:46:52.360 onward?

00:46:52.680 Every day,

00:46:56.040 they found

00:46:56.580 that they were

00:46:57.140 like,

00:46:57.560 the janitors

00:46:58.080 had to clean

00:46:58.600 it up

00:46:58.840 every single

00:46:59.400 day and

00:47:00.220 they were

00:47:00.440 like,

00:47:00.660 who's doing

00:47:01.140 this?

00:47:01.540 And they

00:47:01.800 eventually

00:47:02.160 called him

00:47:02.880 on surveillance

00:47:03.460 and it was

00:47:04.340 the superintendent

00:47:04.880 of the school,

00:47:06.560 Amelia,

00:47:07.160 who said her

00:47:08.000 name before,

00:47:08.740 pointed out

00:47:09.280 that that's

00:47:09.840 just something

00:47:10.520 that we need

00:47:11.080 to tell

00:47:11.400 to Theo Vaughn.

00:47:12.700 Well,

00:47:13.160 I appreciate

00:47:13.440 you calling

00:47:13.920 this in,

00:47:14.560 John,

00:47:14.840 Amelia,

00:47:15.160 and Tom.

00:47:16.080 Well,

00:47:16.520 yeah,

00:47:16.740 I mean,

00:47:16.920 the guy,

00:47:17.460 you said he

00:47:17.940 was doing it

00:47:18.380 daily.

00:47:18.780 I'm not

00:47:19.000 surprised by

00:47:19.480 that because

00:47:20.340 people defecate

00:47:21.620 daily.

00:47:22.680 I don't

00:47:23.040 trust anybody

00:47:23.780 that doesn't

00:47:24.200 defecate six

00:47:25.020 times a week.

00:47:26.820 If you're

00:47:27.440 out there

00:47:27.720 defecating five

00:47:28.800 times,

00:47:29.940 then that's

00:47:30.780 pretty crazy

00:47:31.800 because that

00:47:32.740 means you're

00:47:33.000 just running

00:47:33.340 around,

00:47:33.880 you know,

00:47:34.840 you're just

00:47:35.400 hiding,

00:47:36.240 you know,

00:47:37.520 defecation in

00:47:38.160 your body.

00:47:39.440 You know,

00:47:39.700 you're just

00:47:39.980 out there,

00:47:40.420 you're just

00:47:40.640 muleing your

00:47:41.260 own dookie

00:47:41.800 around.

00:47:42.900 You're just

00:47:43.160 a dookie

00:47:43.600 mule for

00:47:44.040 yourself.

00:47:44.900 Get it

00:47:45.180 out of your

00:47:45.460 body.

00:47:46.600 You got to

00:47:47.180 do six

00:47:47.640 times a week.

00:47:49.360 I got an

00:47:50.980 old friend,

00:47:51.800 you know,

00:47:52.280 and I had

00:47:52.620 to let him

00:47:52.940 go because

00:47:53.380 he only

00:47:53.620 shit twice

00:47:54.140 a week.

00:47:54.980 Huh?

00:47:55.920 So that

00:47:56.280 means every

00:47:56.540 time I'm

00:47:56.840 talking to

00:47:57.260 you,

00:47:57.440 you just,

00:47:59.160 you got

00:47:59.880 like,

00:48:00.100 you know,

00:48:01.180 you got

00:48:01.720 probably about

00:48:02.100 60 grams of

00:48:02.900 just defecation

00:48:03.660 just hanging

00:48:04.420 out in your

00:48:04.740 body for no

00:48:05.320 reason because

00:48:06.340 you're too lazy

00:48:07.060 to let it

00:48:07.580 out.

00:48:08.560 It's like

00:48:09.020 somebody that

00:48:09.360 doesn't take

00:48:10.020 their dog for

00:48:10.520 a walk.

00:48:11.540 You know what I'm

00:48:11.960 saying?

00:48:12.100 You got to

00:48:12.320 take those

00:48:12.580 body dogs for

00:48:13.360 a walk and

00:48:14.340 just walk them

00:48:14.840 right into that

00:48:15.380 tank,

00:48:15.760 into that

00:48:16.020 bathroom tank,

00:48:17.260 that toilet.

00:48:18.740 So it

00:48:19.240 just,

00:48:19.480 if somebody

00:48:19.760 ain't shitting

00:48:20.100 six times a

00:48:20.720 week,

00:48:21.000 then are we

00:48:22.960 friends?

00:48:24.420 I don't

00:48:25.560 know.

00:48:26.620 I really

00:48:27.060 don't know.

00:48:28.480 But look,

00:48:29.060 this man is

00:48:29.440 superintendent of

00:48:30.140 schools.

00:48:31.180 Obviously,

00:48:31.640 he was probably

00:48:32.000 fed up with

00:48:32.440 his job and

00:48:33.040 he just

00:48:33.280 couldn't find a

00:48:33.720 way to do

00:48:34.080 it.

00:48:34.740 And also,

00:48:35.260 once you start

00:48:35.680 doing stuff

00:48:36.140 outdoors and

00:48:36.740 you start,

00:48:37.600 you know,

00:48:38.060 you get out

00:48:38.480 more outdoorsy,

00:48:39.520 that stuff gets

00:48:40.020 addictive.

00:48:40.780 You know,

00:48:40.980 you go for

00:48:41.320 one run,

00:48:41.860 you want to

00:48:42.160 go for

00:48:42.360 another run.

00:48:43.880 You know,

00:48:44.080 and if you

00:48:44.420 shit probably

00:48:44.900 once on a

00:48:45.460 track,

00:48:45.920 then,

00:48:47.080 you know,

00:48:47.540 I could see,

00:48:48.260 I could see

00:48:49.920 probably doing

00:48:50.500 it,

00:48:50.680 you know,

00:48:50.980 it getting

00:48:51.500 probably

00:48:51.840 addictive.

00:48:53.320 I mean,

00:48:53.540 addiction is

00:48:54.020 crazy.

00:48:55.420 People are

00:48:55.720 addicted to

00:48:56.060 everything.

00:48:56.520 There's people

00:48:56.840 addict,

00:48:57.240 there are

00:48:57.580 meetings in

00:48:58.340 Los Angeles

00:48:58.880 for people

00:48:59.220 who are

00:48:59.440 addicted to

00:48:59.900 chapstick.

00:49:02.260 There's

00:49:02.660 meetings for

00:49:03.400 people who

00:49:03.760 are addicted

00:49:04.240 to not

00:49:05.780 blinking.

00:49:06.920 There's people

00:49:07.360 that don't

00:49:08.160 want to

00:49:08.400 blink.

00:49:09.800 Think about

00:49:10.300 that.

00:49:11.120 Just dry

00:49:11.880 eyed as

00:49:12.320 fuck.

00:49:13.000 Just trying

00:49:13.600 to hold

00:49:13.980 them open

00:49:14.340 all day

00:49:14.780 until they

00:49:15.160 go to

00:49:15.420 bed at

00:49:15.780 night.

00:49:17.460 That's the

00:49:17.980 dark arts.

00:49:19.740 And there's

00:49:20.280 people like

00:49:20.780 that.

00:49:21.400 So I'm not

00:49:21.840 surprised.

00:49:22.280 The superintendent

00:49:22.800 of schools,

00:49:23.800 he probably

00:49:24.200 got some

00:49:24.540 ego.

00:49:24.960 He thinks

00:49:25.240 he's this

00:49:25.600 big bad

00:49:26.140 dude.

00:49:26.420 He's running

00:49:26.740 the show.

00:49:27.660 And next

00:49:28.100 thing you know,

00:49:28.540 he's out

00:49:28.840 there defecating.

00:49:31.180 And also,

00:49:31.960 though,

00:49:32.060 maybe he didn't

00:49:32.480 like his

00:49:32.800 janitorial staff.

00:49:33.580 Maybe he

00:49:33.880 thought the

00:49:34.180 staff was

00:49:34.660 slacking.

00:49:35.820 Maybe this

00:49:36.480 is his

00:49:36.780 last term

00:49:37.340 and he

00:49:37.560 didn't give

00:49:37.900 a damn.

00:49:39.000 Maybe he's

00:49:39.520 trying to

00:49:39.720 get a new

00:49:40.100 mascot.

00:49:43.000 You know,

00:49:44.200 the brown

00:49:44.980 bombers.

00:49:45.640 And this

00:49:45.820 dude's just

00:49:46.180 trying to

00:49:47.100 lay a track

00:49:48.800 in people's

00:49:49.260 heads first

00:49:49.780 before he

00:49:50.380 lobs that

00:49:52.400 name out

00:49:53.380 there.

00:49:54.760 But I

00:49:55.160 appreciate you

00:49:55.500 guys calling

00:49:55.840 in.

00:49:56.020 I don't

00:49:56.180 trust anybody

00:49:56.620 that don't

00:49:56.880 shit six

00:49:57.380 times a

00:49:57.740 week.

00:49:58.700 And I

00:49:58.960 don't think

00:49:59.240 you should,

00:49:59.880 but I'm

00:50:00.600 not here to

00:50:00.960 tell you what

00:50:01.340 you should or

00:50:01.860 shouldn't do,

00:50:02.840 but I'll tell

00:50:03.280 you what I'm

00:50:03.620 doing.

00:50:05.360 And I'm

00:50:05.840 not trusting

00:50:07.020 people that

00:50:07.540 don't go

00:50:08.960 number two

00:50:09.400 when they

00:50:09.640 have to do

00:50:10.140 it.

00:50:10.740 What are

00:50:11.200 you doing?

00:50:13.000 Your body

00:50:13.840 is saying,

00:50:14.460 hey,

00:50:15.440 I'm all

00:50:17.260 good here.

00:50:17.760 And you're

00:50:18.020 saying,

00:50:18.500 nah,

00:50:19.420 you keep

00:50:21.040 that in

00:50:21.480 your mouth.

00:50:23.200 Come on,

00:50:23.960 come on.

00:50:25.300 Who are

00:50:25.820 we?

00:50:26.800 Are we

00:50:27.220 rhythm or

00:50:27.680 are we

00:50:27.940 dancers?

00:50:29.340 Let's take

00:50:29.920 another call

00:50:30.380 here.

00:50:30.600 Thank you

00:50:30.880 guys for

00:50:31.200 calling in

00:50:31.660 from Great

00:50:32.480 Neck,

00:50:32.780 New Jersey

00:50:33.140 or Colts

00:50:33.660 Neck or

00:50:34.020 whatever it

00:50:34.380 was,

00:50:34.720 someplace out

00:50:36.840 there in

00:50:37.380 the beautiful

00:50:38.080 New Jersey.

00:50:38.920 Real people

00:50:39.360 out there

00:50:39.620 and I

00:50:39.800 respect it.

00:50:40.460 Onward.

00:50:41.860 Good for

00:50:42.280 you.

00:50:43.000 calling in

00:50:45.060 maybe for

00:50:45.740 a little

00:50:45.960 advice.

00:50:47.660 Thanks for

00:50:48.180 calling.

00:50:48.500 I don't have

00:50:48.820 advice for

00:50:49.400 you but

00:50:49.640 I'll give

00:50:50.340 you a

00:50:51.320 suggestion

00:50:51.820 that I

00:50:52.160 have.

00:50:53.180 I don't

00:50:53.420 say that

00:50:53.840 to reprimand

00:50:55.000 you in

00:50:55.260 any way

00:50:55.600 but for

00:50:57.340 me I

00:50:57.620 don't hear

00:50:57.900 advice

00:50:58.420 that well

00:50:59.460 but I

00:51:00.500 hear

00:51:00.620 suggestions

00:51:01.400 because

00:51:02.200 if I

00:51:04.520 get advice

00:51:05.060 from people

00:51:05.580 it makes

00:51:06.000 me think

00:51:06.440 for me

00:51:07.460 it makes

00:51:08.240 me think

00:51:08.540 that that

00:51:08.860 person

00:51:09.100 thinks they

00:51:09.500 know more

00:51:10.000 than me.

00:51:11.500 And for

00:51:11.640 some reason

00:51:12.240 you know

00:51:12.500 I'm a

00:51:12.820 you know

00:51:13.960 I'm a

00:51:14.800 I've always

00:51:15.300 you know

00:51:16.340 or when I

00:51:16.700 was young

00:51:17.020 I had to

00:51:17.300 always do

00:51:17.640 things for

00:51:18.100 myself.

00:51:19.200 And so I

00:51:19.400 don't like

00:51:19.680 to take

00:51:19.940 other people's

00:51:20.360 advice because

00:51:21.240 you know

00:51:22.620 there's something

00:51:22.980 inside of me

00:51:23.500 that's like

00:51:23.860 I'm not

00:51:24.140 listening to

00:51:24.540 that person.

00:51:26.140 You know

00:51:26.340 I've always

00:51:27.620 taken care of

00:51:28.120 myself.

00:51:28.620 I know

00:51:28.880 I know

00:51:29.280 I know

00:51:29.620 what's best

00:51:30.000 for me.

00:51:31.840 But a

00:51:32.340 suggestion

00:51:32.840 I'm able to

00:51:33.420 hear those

00:51:33.840 a little bit

00:51:34.300 more.

00:51:35.360 And so I'm

00:51:35.880 going to offer

00:51:36.200 a suggestion

00:51:36.860 though and I

00:51:37.640 do appreciate

00:51:38.140 you're calling

00:51:38.560 man.

00:51:38.820 It's brave

00:51:39.140 you to call

00:51:39.840 and hit

00:51:40.060 the hotline

00:51:40.680 985-664-9503.

00:51:43.480 Thanks for

00:51:43.780 calling.

00:51:44.140 Let's hear

00:51:44.340 more.

00:51:46.660 I am

00:51:47.540 currently

00:51:48.500 living with

00:51:48.780 my parents.

00:51:49.860 Okay.

00:51:50.240 You're currently

00:51:50.560 living with

00:51:50.880 the rents

00:51:51.380 dude and

00:51:51.700 that's okay.

00:51:52.800 You know

00:51:53.260 what I don't

00:51:53.560 like about

00:51:53.860 living with

00:51:54.180 the parents

00:51:54.640 though is

00:51:55.160 you got to

00:51:56.880 smell other

00:51:57.340 people's bodies.

00:51:58.380 You know

00:51:58.660 your parents

00:51:59.200 it's cool

00:51:59.720 when you're

00:52:00.040 young because

00:52:01.240 they're smelling

00:52:01.880 you.

00:52:02.320 You're the

00:52:02.560 one making

00:52:02.940 the smells

00:52:03.440 around the

00:52:03.880 house.

00:52:04.180 But when

00:52:04.400 you get a

00:52:04.740 little older

00:52:05.160 and you're

00:52:05.460 still at

00:52:05.720 your folks

00:52:06.080 house then

00:52:06.960 you start

00:52:07.280 smelling them

00:52:08.080 and it's

00:52:08.360 like oh

00:52:09.080 oh my.

00:52:12.460 Just graduated.

00:52:14.400 I have a

00:52:16.480 full-time job

00:52:17.140 starting a

00:52:17.560 career.

00:52:18.660 Wow.

00:52:18.920 And my

00:52:20.280 girlfriend wants

00:52:20.920 to move in

00:52:21.600 with me.

00:52:23.080 Hmm.

00:52:24.040 And that's

00:52:24.440 that you know

00:52:24.940 that's that

00:52:25.680 new age lady.

00:52:27.480 A lot of

00:52:28.040 these new age

00:52:28.600 ladies.

00:52:29.140 When I was

00:52:29.840 young you

00:52:30.180 would put a

00:52:30.640 ladder on

00:52:31.020 your lady's

00:52:31.480 door and

00:52:31.820 sneak up there

00:52:32.360 at night.

00:52:34.040 And then

00:52:34.320 right when you

00:52:34.720 got into her

00:52:35.100 bedroom her

00:52:35.600 dad would

00:52:36.000 pop up from

00:52:36.500 behind the

00:52:36.860 bed and

00:52:37.460 punch you

00:52:37.800 in the

00:52:37.980 fucking

00:52:38.160 neck.

00:52:39.620 But now

00:52:40.280 you got

00:52:40.560 these ladies

00:52:41.220 they trying

00:52:41.720 to sneak

00:52:42.160 in.

00:52:43.880 You know

00:52:44.420 you don't

00:52:44.680 even know.

00:52:45.380 I unpacked

00:52:46.100 one of my

00:52:46.380 bags at

00:52:46.800 home the

00:52:47.060 other day

00:52:47.260 had two

00:52:47.620 ladies in

00:52:48.400 it.

00:52:49.280 Like who

00:52:49.840 were these

00:52:50.180 ladies?

00:52:52.200 But thanks

00:52:52.840 for calling

00:52:53.180 onward.

00:52:54.500 And I got

00:52:55.160 a little bit

00:52:55.540 student debt

00:52:56.120 and money's

00:52:58.200 a little bit

00:52:58.560 tight but I

00:52:59.340 can do it

00:53:00.300 and it's

00:53:00.560 feasible.

00:53:02.160 And so I'm

00:53:03.200 just wondering

00:53:03.660 if you know

00:53:04.820 this is the

00:53:05.800 right decision

00:53:06.360 what your

00:53:06.920 thoughts and

00:53:07.380 comments are

00:53:07.880 about it.

00:53:08.300 I'm 24.

00:53:09.600 I think it's

00:53:10.140 time to get

00:53:11.540 out of my

00:53:11.800 parents'

00:53:12.200 house and

00:53:12.480 move on.

00:53:15.420 But scary.

00:53:17.920 I already

00:53:18.480 made a decision

00:53:19.020 that I think

00:53:19.400 I'm going to

00:53:19.640 do it but

00:53:20.220 I was wondering

00:53:21.040 if you had

00:53:21.480 any advice,

00:53:23.260 thoughts,

00:53:23.900 comments for

00:53:24.380 me.

00:53:24.560 There you

00:53:25.820 go.

00:53:26.100 And I

00:53:26.260 appreciate

00:53:26.520 you calling

00:53:27.000 and I'll

00:53:27.880 say this

00:53:28.320 about moving

00:53:28.940 out.

00:53:30.520 You know

00:53:31.000 it sounds

00:53:31.540 like you're

00:53:32.440 a responsible

00:53:32.980 guy and I

00:53:34.900 applaud that.

00:53:35.740 I mean a lot

00:53:36.020 of 24-year-olds

00:53:37.000 they don't even

00:53:37.480 know.

00:53:38.320 A lot of

00:53:38.700 these kids

00:53:39.080 out there

00:53:39.360 sitting in

00:53:39.740 their front

00:53:40.120 yard on

00:53:40.560 LSD

00:53:41.060 you know

00:53:42.540 just trying

00:53:42.900 to figure

00:53:43.200 out if

00:53:43.460 their toes

00:53:43.900 are in

00:53:44.700 the best

00:53:45.040 order

00:53:45.420 naturally

00:53:46.320 you know

00:53:47.560 by height

00:53:48.100 or whatever

00:53:48.480 classification

00:53:49.200 whatever.

00:53:50.480 But you

00:53:50.760 sound you

00:53:51.140 know you

00:53:51.360 label off a

00:53:52.540 couple things.

00:53:52.800 You have a

00:53:53.080 job.

00:53:53.380 You just

00:53:53.580 graduated.

00:53:54.400 You're

00:53:54.620 working full

00:53:55.080 time.

00:53:55.860 You're

00:53:55.960 juggling a

00:53:56.800 relationship.

00:53:57.980 You know

00:53:58.080 you're

00:53:58.320 understanding

00:53:58.920 you're

00:53:59.160 moving out

00:53:59.780 and that

00:54:00.020 there's

00:54:00.220 some

00:54:00.360 responsibility

00:54:00.900 added there.

00:54:02.860 Man it

00:54:03.440 sounds like

00:54:04.000 you're doing

00:54:04.440 okay.

00:54:06.160 I think

00:54:06.780 you're going

00:54:07.040 to be fine.

00:54:08.920 And I'll

00:54:09.360 say this

00:54:09.940 man.

00:54:11.000 I don't

00:54:11.580 know your

00:54:11.880 parents but

00:54:12.280 I'm proud

00:54:12.700 of you.

00:54:13.080 Look I

00:54:14.060 have zero

00:54:14.660 kids but I

00:54:15.260 would be so

00:54:15.960 proud if you

00:54:16.460 were my

00:54:16.760 kid.

00:54:18.060 I mean you

00:54:18.300 sound like

00:54:18.720 somebody that

00:54:20.920 cares about

00:54:21.680 yourself.

00:54:22.800 That's

00:54:23.360 taken a

00:54:23.740 lot of

00:54:23.920 responsibility.

00:54:25.640 And so

00:54:25.800 your parents

00:54:26.340 will always

00:54:26.720 be there.

00:54:27.260 If things

00:54:27.580 get tough

00:54:27.960 and you

00:54:28.100 have to

00:54:28.280 go back

00:54:28.800 that's

00:54:30.060 that's not

00:54:31.100 taking a

00:54:31.480 loss that's

00:54:31.980 taking a

00:54:32.300 learn.

00:54:34.040 You know

00:54:34.180 through any

00:54:35.140 experience even

00:54:35.760 if it doesn't

00:54:36.280 work out for

00:54:36.880 you you can

00:54:38.180 take an L

00:54:38.800 and that L

00:54:39.660 can be a

00:54:40.080 learning.

00:54:41.940 You know

00:54:42.140 and I

00:54:42.380 actually

00:54:42.960 that's

00:54:43.620 our charter

00:54:45.180 sponsor is

00:54:45.760 Gray Block

00:54:46.140 Pizza and

00:54:46.560 the man that

00:54:46.980 runs that

00:54:47.780 started that

00:54:48.200 company is

00:54:48.700 this gentleman

00:54:49.040 Thomas and

00:54:49.560 he taught

00:54:49.840 me about

00:54:50.140 that.

00:54:50.460 And it's

00:54:52.540 helped me.

00:54:54.360 It's helped

00:54:54.760 me when I

00:54:55.080 feel like

00:54:55.400 damn I

00:54:56.040 lost that

00:54:56.720 shit.

00:54:57.360 But nah I

00:54:58.060 learned it.

00:54:59.560 And next

00:54:59.940 time I'll do

00:55:00.340 it differently.

00:55:01.900 Yeah I mean

00:55:02.220 look you're

00:55:02.600 going to have

00:55:02.780 some freedom

00:55:03.320 though.

00:55:04.800 You're going

00:55:05.080 to have some

00:55:05.400 freedom.

00:55:06.300 You know your

00:55:06.540 parents will

00:55:06.980 probably look at

00:55:07.620 you a little

00:55:07.900 different.

00:55:08.320 You'll start

00:55:08.620 to you know

00:55:08.980 get some

00:55:09.260 different

00:55:09.520 airs.

00:55:09.960 Some new

00:55:10.620 ideas will

00:55:11.240 come into

00:55:11.580 your head

00:55:11.920 when you're

00:55:12.220 in a space

00:55:12.840 because when

00:55:13.900 you put

00:55:14.300 yourself in

00:55:14.960 uncomfort

00:55:16.040 you know

00:55:18.200 your brain

00:55:19.220 will find

00:55:19.800 ways and

00:55:20.900 the world

00:55:21.940 will find

00:55:22.380 ways a lot

00:55:23.020 of times

00:55:23.400 to even

00:55:25.400 things out

00:55:25.920 for you.

00:55:26.360 To get you

00:55:26.760 back into

00:55:27.260 comfort.

00:55:28.400 And so you

00:55:28.840 don't know

00:55:29.100 the world

00:55:29.420 might give

00:55:29.780 you a new

00:55:30.060 opportunity.

00:55:31.620 Your brain

00:55:32.320 might look

00:55:33.140 at things a

00:55:33.580 little bit

00:55:33.820 differently and

00:55:34.360 find a way

00:55:34.940 to make

00:55:36.300 something in

00:55:36.740 your life

00:55:37.060 that was

00:55:37.420 tougher

00:55:37.880 before.

00:55:38.420 Make it

00:55:38.680 easier for

00:55:39.240 you now.

00:55:40.400 You know

00:55:40.620 it's amazing

00:55:41.280 what pressure

00:55:42.580 can do

00:55:43.820 to your

00:55:44.420 brain.

00:55:45.520 What positive

00:55:46.020 pressure.

00:55:47.160 And I

00:55:47.460 consider moving

00:55:48.080 out you know

00:55:48.820 I consider

00:55:49.160 that putting

00:55:49.520 like a

00:55:49.800 positive

00:55:50.140 pressure on

00:55:50.740 yourself.

00:55:52.780 You know

00:55:53.320 because it's

00:55:53.680 you know

00:55:54.340 it's amazing

00:55:55.660 what is

00:55:57.200 inside of

00:55:57.920 us.

00:55:59.100 What our

00:55:59.420 higher powers

00:56:00.220 or whatever

00:56:00.600 put inside

00:56:01.320 of us.

00:56:02.280 We are

00:56:02.640 remarkable

00:56:03.600 creatures.

00:56:05.240 I mean

00:56:05.460 we're also

00:56:05.880 straight Muppets.

00:56:07.440 You know

00:56:07.580 somebody right

00:56:08.100 now is

00:56:08.420 listening to

00:56:08.860 this and

00:56:09.100 just walked

00:56:09.600 into traffic.

00:56:11.280 And you

00:56:11.800 know what

00:56:12.320 we appreciate

00:56:14.220 them taking

00:56:14.840 one for

00:56:15.220 the team.

00:56:16.800 But

00:56:17.080 it's

00:56:18.440 we're

00:56:20.820 remarkable

00:56:21.260 creatures in

00:56:21.880 the sense

00:56:22.280 that when

00:56:22.780 we put

00:56:23.080 ourselves

00:56:23.460 into

00:56:23.920 uncomfort

00:56:24.940 when we

00:56:25.520 put ourselves

00:56:25.940 into change

00:56:26.700 that

00:56:27.860 we will

00:56:29.380 a lot of

00:56:29.780 times rise

00:56:30.240 to the

00:56:30.480 occasion.

00:56:31.220 And you

00:56:31.500 sound like

00:56:31.840 somebody that

00:56:32.280 might.

00:56:33.760 You really

00:56:34.580 sound like

00:56:34.920 somebody that

00:56:35.280 might.

00:56:35.920 So I

00:56:36.300 say give

00:56:36.660 it a shot.

00:56:37.920 And you

00:56:38.240 can always

00:56:38.700 take a

00:56:39.040 learn.

00:56:39.320 you can

00:56:40.960 always take

00:56:41.340 a step

00:56:41.620 back.

00:56:42.000 I'm sure

00:56:42.460 your parents

00:56:42.880 would love

00:56:43.420 to have

00:56:43.680 you back

00:56:44.300 in the

00:56:44.500 house.

00:56:44.720 I don't

00:56:44.900 know them.

00:56:45.840 You know

00:56:46.000 maybe they

00:56:46.420 getting tired

00:56:46.860 of splitting

00:56:47.280 that pizza.

00:56:49.240 You know

00:56:49.440 maybe y'all

00:56:49.840 getting tired

00:56:50.320 of smelling

00:56:50.800 each other

00:56:51.300 but you

00:56:52.840 know I'm

00:56:53.560 sure you

00:56:54.120 sound like

00:56:54.380 a nice

00:56:54.760 good son.

00:56:56.220 And I

00:56:56.420 bet that

00:56:56.680 they're super

00:56:57.100 proud of

00:56:57.480 you and I'm

00:56:57.820 sure that

00:56:58.080 they would

00:56:58.260 be happy

00:56:58.520 to have

00:56:58.720 you in

00:56:58.880 the house

00:56:59.040 if you

00:56:59.520 got to

00:56:59.720 go back.

00:57:00.260 Look I

00:57:00.540 moved

00:57:00.780 in and

00:57:01.020 out of

00:57:01.200 the house

00:57:01.440 nine times

00:57:02.640 with a

00:57:03.340 family that

00:57:03.840 wasn't even

00:57:04.680 mine.

00:57:06.720 So

00:57:07.080 it's okay

00:57:10.140 if you

00:57:10.840 have to.

00:57:12.340 And with

00:57:12.580 the girlfriend

00:57:12.960 situation

00:57:13.740 now having

00:57:15.840 her move

00:57:16.300 in with you

00:57:16.660 immediately

00:57:17.140 when you

00:57:17.500 get out

00:57:17.820 I mean

00:57:18.080 maybe

00:57:18.300 that's

00:57:18.500 what you

00:57:18.720 maybe

00:57:19.020 you're

00:57:19.200 headed

00:57:19.340 for

00:57:19.520 marriage

00:57:19.820 and

00:57:19.960 that's

00:57:20.160 where

00:57:20.260 you're

00:57:20.480 looking

00:57:20.680 for.

00:57:22.020 You know

00:57:22.240 maybe

00:57:22.540 I might

00:57:24.480 take a

00:57:24.920 set

00:57:25.160 you know

00:57:25.520 take a

00:57:26.220 secondary

00:57:26.600 beat

00:57:27.000 there

00:57:27.380 and just

00:57:28.100 kind of

00:57:28.380 feel that

00:57:28.800 out a

00:57:29.080 little bit

00:57:29.380 more.

00:57:30.720 You know

00:57:31.040 even if

00:57:31.360 it's just

00:57:31.580 a couple

00:57:31.900 weeks

00:57:32.580 by yourself

00:57:33.300 but if

00:57:33.780 she's

00:57:33.920 already

00:57:34.080 living with

00:57:34.500 you and

00:57:34.660 you guys

00:57:34.880 are going

00:57:35.120 together

00:57:35.440 then go

00:57:35.800 do it.

00:57:37.320 You know

00:57:37.560 you can

00:57:37.800 always take

00:57:38.360 a step

00:57:38.680 sideways

00:57:39.140 and that's

00:57:40.760 just a step

00:57:41.200 to think

00:57:41.960 about things

00:57:42.580 or you can

00:57:43.000 always

00:57:43.340 take a

00:57:44.580 learn brother.

00:57:46.120 Let's get

00:57:47.180 onward and

00:57:47.680 take another

00:57:48.000 question.

00:57:48.500 Onward.

00:57:49.540 Hey what's

00:57:50.000 up Theo?

00:57:50.760 It's

00:57:51.060 Brian from

00:57:51.660 Los Angeles.

00:57:52.660 What's

00:57:53.060 up Brian from

00:57:53.580 Los Angeles?

00:57:54.160 Thanks for

00:57:54.440 calling in.

00:57:56.420 But this

00:57:57.240 is more

00:57:57.560 kind of

00:57:57.880 like a

00:57:58.120 recommendation

00:57:58.740 or just

00:57:59.720 kind of

00:58:00.040 like

00:58:00.360 trying to

00:58:01.280 stock

00:58:01.620 kind of

00:58:01.960 thing.

00:58:03.020 Okay.

00:58:03.380 You had

00:58:03.980 that one

00:58:05.420 homeboy

00:58:06.040 from Greyhound.

00:58:09.460 We just

00:58:09.940 kind of

00:58:10.160 talked to him.

00:58:11.200 Yeah we had

00:58:11.800 the Greyhound

00:58:12.340 driver and

00:58:14.380 I hate to

00:58:15.180 say it I can't

00:58:15.560 even remember

00:58:15.820 his name at

00:58:16.280 the moment.

00:58:16.640 He stood

00:58:17.000 us up and

00:58:17.540 then he

00:58:17.740 came in

00:58:18.120 and didn't

00:58:18.280 really say

00:58:18.640 much but

00:58:19.060 he was

00:58:19.320 nice.

00:58:20.320 but yeah he

00:58:23.520 might have

00:58:23.760 been a

00:58:23.960 government

00:58:25.180 plant.

00:58:26.780 Onward.

00:58:27.940 Just

00:58:28.140 trying to

00:58:28.460 get into

00:58:28.760 his mind

00:58:29.320 about how

00:58:30.380 Greyhound

00:58:31.720 works but

00:58:33.000 what's wrong

00:58:34.440 with getting

00:58:35.540 people on

00:58:35.920 your podcast

00:58:36.580 whether

00:58:37.300 they're

00:58:37.800 mechanics,

00:58:40.160 doctors,

00:58:41.560 chefs,

00:58:43.240 anything like

00:58:44.000 that.

00:58:45.040 Just get

00:58:45.700 their insights,

00:58:47.060 their experience,

00:58:48.720 things that they

00:58:49.360 teach, you

00:58:50.100 know what I

00:58:50.440 mean.

00:58:51.180 I'm a

00:58:51.820 mechanic,

00:58:52.380 you know what

00:58:52.600 I mean.

00:58:53.240 I just

00:58:53.520 want to

00:58:53.880 tell that

00:58:54.900 to you

00:58:55.900 know.

00:58:56.360 There's a

00:58:57.200 couple crazy

00:58:57.680 stories, you

00:58:58.340 know what I

00:58:58.620 mean, out

00:58:59.120 there.

00:59:00.140 I appreciate

00:59:00.920 that call,

00:59:01.440 Brian.

00:59:01.740 Yeah, well

00:59:02.080 look, I'm

00:59:03.860 trying not to

00:59:04.800 close off my

00:59:05.600 mind to any

00:59:06.160 type of

00:59:06.520 guest.

00:59:07.640 I'm still

00:59:08.240 learning a

00:59:08.820 lot about

00:59:09.520 being with

00:59:10.280 guests.

00:59:11.760 Some guests,

00:59:13.020 it's almost

00:59:13.760 like a script

00:59:14.380 with them.

00:59:14.840 They just go

00:59:15.260 into it and

00:59:15.860 start communicating

00:59:16.580 and it's hard

00:59:17.760 to even get

00:59:18.220 questions in.

00:59:20.100 You know, I

00:59:20.540 want to get

00:59:20.860 people in that

00:59:21.380 I can

00:59:21.560 conversate more

00:59:22.460 with.

00:59:22.960 I want to

00:59:23.340 have people in

00:59:24.480 that I have

00:59:24.820 some sort of

00:59:25.560 a purpose to

00:59:27.040 talk to.

00:59:28.460 And you're

00:59:29.060 right, that

00:59:29.420 should be

00:59:30.060 anyone.

00:59:30.860 And it is.

00:59:32.300 You know, but

00:59:32.560 it's also like

00:59:33.280 you get a guy,

00:59:34.100 you know, you

00:59:34.720 think that you

00:59:35.200 get a guy who's

00:59:35.840 going to be,

00:59:37.040 have a lot to

00:59:37.720 share and a lot

00:59:38.640 of insight, like

00:59:39.960 the Greyhound

00:59:40.420 driver, and he

00:59:41.440 didn't have much.

00:59:42.820 And that's why

00:59:43.240 we have to do

00:59:43.740 another Greyhound

00:59:44.420 episode coming up

00:59:45.220 when we're looking

00:59:45.580 for a better

00:59:46.040 driver.

00:59:46.660 If you know

00:59:47.140 anybody that has

00:59:47.880 worked for

00:59:48.200 Greyhound,

00:59:48.680 who lives in

00:59:49.480 the Los Angeles

00:59:50.000 area, we'll

00:59:51.060 pay them for

00:59:51.440 their time, but

00:59:52.340 we'd love to

00:59:52.800 have them come

00:59:53.180 on.

00:59:55.560 So you can

00:59:56.220 hit the hotline

00:59:56.740 and let us

00:59:57.060 know that.

00:59:57.940 But look, I

00:59:58.380 want to have

00:59:58.640 all types of

00:59:59.120 regular people.

01:00:00.200 You know,

01:00:00.460 anybody.

01:00:01.500 People that

01:00:02.060 can hold

01:00:03.220 their breath.

01:00:04.880 Midwives.

01:00:06.380 Con artists.

01:00:09.580 You know,

01:00:10.180 people that

01:00:10.660 maybe were

01:00:12.540 accused of,

01:00:13.360 you know,

01:00:13.760 dirty crimes,

01:00:16.460 rapists,

01:00:17.340 or whatever,

01:00:18.020 but didn't

01:00:18.420 do it.

01:00:19.220 Didn't do

01:00:19.780 it.

01:00:21.120 You know,

01:00:21.560 murderers who

01:00:22.180 did their

01:00:22.940 time.

01:00:23.840 I'm interested

01:00:24.380 in anybody,

01:00:24.920 and if there's

01:00:25.240 somebody out

01:00:25.620 there that you

01:00:25.960 think has a,

01:00:26.520 you have a

01:00:26.980 really special

01:00:27.500 guest, you

01:00:27.900 think is

01:00:28.160 great, hit

01:00:28.800 the hotline,

01:00:29.520 let us know.

01:00:30.260 Make sure they

01:00:30.660 live in Los

01:00:31.100 Angeles.

01:00:32.860 We don't have

01:00:33.480 that kind of a

01:00:34.020 budget, but we

01:00:35.720 will, you know,

01:00:36.880 we want to have

01:00:37.340 interesting people

01:00:37.960 and we're going

01:00:38.300 to continue to.

01:00:39.300 But I appreciate

01:00:39.700 you saying that,

01:00:40.340 Brian.

01:00:40.620 Yeah,

01:00:41.000 everybody has a

01:00:41.820 story, but we

01:00:43.620 also have to make

01:00:44.220 sure that people

01:00:44.640 can, you know,

01:00:45.500 have some ability

01:00:46.240 to share that

01:00:46.880 story so that

01:00:48.020 we can just

01:00:49.500 because we owe

01:00:50.200 that to our

01:00:50.640 listeners and we

01:00:51.280 owe that to

01:00:51.600 ourselves and we

01:00:52.820 also don't want to

01:00:53.340 get somebody in

01:00:53.760 here and make

01:00:53.980 them feel

01:00:54.200 uncomfortable.

01:00:55.700 You know,

01:00:55.880 if you get some

01:00:56.420 cats like to get

01:00:57.120 their hair cut,

01:00:58.140 like to get their

01:00:58.680 hair styled,

01:01:00.420 you know,

01:01:00.660 sometime you'll

01:01:01.120 see a cat with a

01:01:01.980 little bit of a

01:01:02.680 jerry curl around

01:01:03.600 its asshole.

01:01:05.600 But sometimes you

01:01:06.500 get a cat and

01:01:07.560 you break out that

01:01:08.120 hair coloring kit

01:01:09.080 and they jump out

01:01:10.440 the seat.

01:01:12.680 And that's not

01:01:13.660 the kind of cat we

01:01:14.320 want.

01:01:15.100 We want the cat

01:01:15.940 that's ready to

01:01:16.360 have a little bit

01:01:16.720 of S curl or a

01:01:17.580 finger wave around

01:01:18.260 that anus.

01:01:21.080 Let's hear more.

01:01:22.240 Let's take another

01:01:22.900 call here.

01:01:23.860 And look, we'll go

01:01:24.440 in and out of the

01:01:25.020 calls.

01:01:25.400 It's not like once

01:01:26.040 we get into the

01:01:26.620 calls, we go through

01:01:27.440 the calls.

01:01:28.380 This is what it is.

01:01:29.800 This is Memorial

01:01:30.460 Day weekend.

01:01:32.160 You know, people

01:01:32.560 died so we could do

01:01:33.620 this however we

01:01:34.980 want.

01:01:37.120 You know, people,

01:01:37.680 can you believe

01:01:38.240 that people died?

01:01:41.160 People died, man.

01:01:42.800 Some of you

01:01:43.220 listeners right now,

01:01:44.160 you lost a family

01:01:45.780 member.

01:01:47.680 You know, were you

01:01:48.160 looking at some of

01:01:49.180 y'all, you know,

01:01:50.740 scratching a ghost

01:01:51.760 leg or gross, you

01:01:53.500 know, trying to

01:01:54.300 scratch your arm

01:01:54.900 right now, you

01:01:55.200 don't even have an

01:01:55.720 arm because you

01:01:56.320 left your arm in

01:01:57.000 another country.

01:01:59.440 Defending this one.

01:02:00.260 I mean, I'm

01:02:04.280 grateful.

01:02:06.180 I'm grateful for

01:02:07.040 this country.

01:02:08.600 We're going to do

01:02:09.240 great things.

01:02:09.680 I'm not sitting here

01:02:10.240 listening to the

01:02:10.800 news telling me this

01:02:11.740 and that and fighting

01:02:13.280 about who should be

01:02:14.100 here and who

01:02:14.560 shouldn't be here.

01:02:16.440 Onward, baby.

01:02:17.760 I'm moving onward.

01:02:19.320 If somebody needs

01:02:19.980 help and I'm there,

01:02:20.760 I'm going to help.

01:02:22.600 But I'm not falling

01:02:23.460 into this trap of

01:02:24.120 this bullshit,

01:02:24.920 constantly baiting me

01:02:25.960 into thinking that

01:02:27.040 America's bad.

01:02:28.540 Things are going

01:02:29.160 okay.

01:02:30.320 And I think

01:02:30.800 actually things are

01:02:31.380 going better than

01:02:32.100 okay.

01:02:33.240 I think we're in a

01:02:34.480 better place now

01:02:35.180 than when we were

01:02:35.500 10 years ago.

01:02:36.840 I hope we are.

01:02:37.760 I think we have a

01:02:38.080 lot of the same

01:02:38.580 problems.

01:02:39.940 But I think we

01:02:40.360 need to start

01:02:40.700 thinking more about

01:02:41.260 solution and just

01:02:42.120 quit complaining

01:02:42.760 about everything.

01:02:44.280 What is the

01:02:44.900 solution?

01:02:45.460 What do we find

01:02:46.160 it?

01:02:47.260 And I fall into it

01:02:48.300 too.

01:02:48.520 Man, we all do.

01:02:49.520 Maybe we all

01:02:50.120 don't.

01:02:50.400 I do.

01:02:51.560 You know, I get

01:02:52.080 caught up in the

01:02:52.640 complaints.

01:02:53.840 If you need me,

01:02:54.520 I'll be in the

01:02:54.960 complaints section

01:02:55.960 trying on a

01:02:57.400 couple of

01:02:57.880 complaints, you

01:03:00.040 know?

01:03:02.120 How does this,

01:03:02.980 you know, this,

01:03:04.460 you know, how

01:03:05.960 does this, this,

01:03:07.260 this complain

01:03:09.380 dress fit me?

01:03:22.040 Just trying on

01:03:23.060 complaints.

01:03:23.920 Oh, how does this

01:03:24.520 shoulda, woulda,

01:03:25.600 coulda wife beater

01:03:26.440 fit me?

01:03:26.920 Is it too

01:03:27.480 tight?

01:03:29.680 Let's take

01:03:30.180 another call.

01:03:30.860 Here we go.

01:03:32.120 Yo, what's up,

01:03:32.940 Theo?

01:03:33.700 This is Eric

01:03:34.660 calling in from

01:03:35.380 California.

01:03:36.460 Hey, Eric from

01:03:37.200 California.

01:03:39.180 I'm in your state

01:03:40.080 as well right now.

01:03:40.880 Thank you for

01:03:41.240 calling, brother.

01:03:41.880 Onward.

01:03:43.620 Northern

01:03:43.980 California.

01:03:44.620 I've been listening to

01:03:46.360 listening to your

01:03:46.480 podcast.

01:03:46.800 I've been listening to

01:03:47.420 your podcast, just heard

01:03:49.140 this one last past week

01:03:49.220 where you were on Joe

01:03:49.960 Rogan's.

01:03:51.480 Yeah, and thank you for

01:03:52.760 listening to that too,

01:03:53.840 man.

01:03:54.200 Joe sent me a text on

01:03:56.000 Friday saying how he

01:03:58.420 got in such a nice

01:03:59.160 response.

01:03:59.900 And man, I got such a

01:04:00.620 great response, I can't

01:04:01.380 even tell you.

01:04:02.500 No joke, I think I got

01:04:03.900 maybe three, four

01:04:06.000 thousand DMs just about

01:04:09.080 the podcast.

01:04:10.520 But what?

01:04:11.600 I can't, it would

01:04:12.820 take me two months to

01:04:14.580 respond to all of them.

01:04:15.940 And I've tried on some,

01:04:16.980 it's just overwhelming.

01:04:18.380 You know, it's

01:04:18.840 overwhelming even just

01:04:19.640 being on your phone that

01:04:20.380 much.

01:04:20.660 But thank you guys so

01:04:21.480 much for people that

01:04:22.100 have reached out and

01:04:23.400 just said that they

01:04:24.760 enjoyed listening to

01:04:25.480 that.

01:04:25.680 I enjoyed it.

01:04:27.140 I talked about it on

01:04:27.880 my last episode.

01:04:28.740 Onward.

01:04:29.880 That 64 box coloring

01:04:31.900 right there, boy.

01:04:33.680 But I heard you come

01:04:36.500 back and contemplate and

01:04:37.540 like thinking that whole

01:04:38.480 universe, like if you

01:04:39.520 would have met

01:04:40.000 yourself, would

01:04:41.020 you be like proud or

01:04:43.140 you know, how would

01:04:43.960 you feel?

01:04:44.520 And I've been kind of

01:04:45.920 thinking about that

01:04:46.660 myself.

01:04:48.660 And man, you know,

01:04:50.960 as silly as this might

01:04:51.820 sound, that's kind of

01:04:52.680 what I needed to hear to

01:04:54.000 just put the fucking

01:04:55.860 bottle down, man.

01:04:57.260 I figured if I met

01:04:58.360 myself, I wouldn't like

01:04:59.500 who I was meeting.

01:05:01.780 I was about to pour

01:05:02.620 myself a drink and I

01:05:03.660 just decided not to,

01:05:05.260 you know, because I

01:05:07.040 wouldn't like that guy.

01:05:07.900 But it made me think a

01:05:10.940 little.

01:05:12.000 Thanks, Theo.

01:05:13.800 Thank you.

01:05:14.500 Thanks for the call.

01:05:15.580 Yeah.

01:05:16.140 Well, Joe made me

01:05:17.000 think.

01:05:17.860 And we're just out here

01:05:18.980 playing telephone,

01:05:21.140 making people think.

01:05:23.540 But I'm glad I could

01:05:24.600 help you think a little

01:05:25.620 bit.

01:05:27.140 Yeah, sometimes I've

01:05:28.740 been to those moments

01:05:29.480 like, what is this next

01:05:30.540 one going to do for me?

01:05:31.660 Or what is this next,

01:05:32.880 you know, page of

01:05:35.160 pornography?

01:05:36.060 Or what is this next,

01:05:37.420 you know, mean text?

01:05:39.080 Or what is this next,

01:05:40.520 you know, hit off this

01:05:43.120 joint?

01:05:43.540 Or what is this next

01:05:44.280 gram of cocaine?

01:05:45.600 Or what is this next,

01:05:46.920 you know, parking in my

01:05:50.260 neighbor's yard?

01:05:51.060 Or what is this,

01:05:51.780 what is it going to do

01:05:53.420 for me?

01:05:55.460 You know, I get to,

01:05:56.480 I've been to those

01:05:57.340 moments.

01:05:58.740 We're just, like, you

01:06:00.100 know, things work for

01:06:01.320 you, even if they're

01:06:02.320 things that aren't good

01:06:03.040 for you, they work for

01:06:03.920 you until they don't

01:06:04.660 work anymore.

01:06:07.280 And then, for me, I

01:06:09.060 have to ask myself,

01:06:09.980 well, why, why, why,

01:06:12.020 what am I using this

01:06:15.260 for in the first place?

01:06:17.400 Is it a thought that I

01:06:18.480 don't want to think

01:06:18.960 about?

01:06:19.900 Is it an uncomfort?

01:06:22.200 Like, if I don't pour

01:06:23.040 that beer, then I just

01:06:23.900 sit there uncomfortable,

01:06:25.040 what is that uncomfort?

01:06:26.960 What is it?

01:06:27.740 Because that's what my

01:06:30.520 real, that's what,

01:06:32.460 that's my dark artist.

01:06:35.100 Whatever that uncomfort

01:06:36.200 is that makes me get to

01:06:39.700 the point where whatever

01:06:42.080 I'm using to check out

01:06:45.280 of myself, whatever I'm

01:06:47.260 using to escape doesn't

01:06:48.920 work, then that's when,

01:06:51.480 that's when it's like,

01:06:52.220 okay, I need to look,

01:06:52.940 I need to, I need to look

01:06:53.980 at this a little more.

01:06:55.560 What am I, what am I,

01:06:56.260 I don't feel good about

01:06:57.640 what?

01:06:58.100 I don't feel good about

01:06:58.680 what I'm doing, I don't

01:06:59.440 feel good about what

01:07:00.060 somebody's doing to me.

01:07:01.940 I don't feel, I feel less

01:07:03.160 than, I feel shameful.

01:07:07.240 What do I, you know,

01:07:07.740 what do I feel?

01:07:09.000 And that's what, you know,

01:07:09.940 that for me, that kind of

01:07:10.800 stuff is, that's where

01:07:11.380 that all that goes.

01:07:12.980 It's starting, then that

01:07:13.900 self-exploration.

01:07:15.740 And I'm just out here

01:07:16.560 spelunking into myself,

01:07:18.280 trying to.

01:07:20.320 Huh.

01:07:21.560 It's a dirt, man, this can

01:07:22.980 be a dirty road we live on.

01:07:24.360 Um, but, but they got

01:07:27.480 a lot of tables of water

01:07:28.440 set up as we're jogging

01:07:29.460 it, don't they?

01:07:30.680 And we get those hitters

01:07:31.860 from different people.

01:07:33.360 You know, and I listen

01:07:34.360 to Joe and, and you

01:07:35.560 listen here and, and

01:07:36.880 then somebody else

01:07:37.580 listens to this now

01:07:38.440 because you called in

01:07:39.320 and we're all, we're all

01:07:40.740 thinking.

01:07:41.720 You know, we're all

01:07:42.480 thinking.

01:07:44.660 Oh, onward.

01:07:46.200 Let's hear more.

01:07:46.820 Thanks for calling,

01:07:47.400 Eric.

01:07:47.640 And also, if you fucking

01:07:48.600 party and do shit and

01:07:49.520 you're doing it good,

01:07:50.560 keep on.

01:07:51.420 Keep on.

01:07:55.820 Here we go.

01:07:57.100 Hey, how's it going?

01:07:58.420 Theo Vaughn and to

01:07:59.700 anyone listening, I

01:08:00.840 was just calling in to

01:08:02.120 give my, um, best

01:08:03.540 worst weekend.

01:08:05.400 Okay.

01:08:05.820 And this will be the

01:08:06.360 last, uh, this will be

01:08:08.240 the last submission for

01:08:09.020 this week.

01:08:09.440 Each week we have, we

01:08:10.460 can call in and let us

01:08:11.360 know what your best or

01:08:12.200 worst weekend, how your

01:08:13.740 weekend was, if it was the

01:08:14.720 best or worst.

01:08:15.420 Make sure it's, it's one

01:08:16.560 or the other.

01:08:17.380 Don't call them with

01:08:18.200 some mediocre weekend.

01:08:19.320 You know, you and

01:08:21.560 Gunther went over to the

01:08:22.620 lake or something, you

01:08:24.440 know, and ate a jar of

01:08:25.300 olives together.

01:08:26.780 Cause you know why?

01:08:27.840 Don't give a fuck.

01:08:29.660 I want to hear something

01:08:30.520 wild.

01:08:32.040 You know, somebody

01:08:33.720 swallowed a damn barbell

01:08:35.000 or something.

01:08:35.500 It needs to be

01:08:35.940 interesting.

01:08:37.960 Um, but thank you for

01:08:39.220 calling.

01:08:39.540 You can hit those, you

01:08:40.300 can, on those stories,

01:08:40.960 you can leave them at

01:08:41.380 985-664-9503 on the

01:08:43.560 hotline.

01:08:44.060 Once a month we'll

01:08:44.800 take the best or worst

01:08:45.760 weekend, whichever one it

01:08:46.680 was, uh, whoever that

01:08:48.000 was in cinema this past

01:08:49.260 weekend package.

01:08:50.120 It's got, um, it's got

01:08:51.900 these Haas, uh, these, uh,

01:08:53.860 uh, correctional center

01:08:55.140 blue t-shirts and we'll

01:08:57.260 send you one of those and

01:08:58.000 a couple of other, uh,

01:08:58.880 items.

01:08:59.480 Onward.

01:09:00.640 On my way home from work

01:09:02.540 and I, I bike to and from

01:09:05.300 work.

01:09:05.760 I'm about seven miles away.

01:09:07.460 It's about nine o'clock.

01:09:08.680 I'm heading down.

01:09:09.400 It's dark.

01:09:09.900 So I'm flying maybe 30

01:09:10.980 miles an hour.

01:09:12.060 Okay.

01:09:12.460 You 30 miles an hour on a

01:09:13.540 bicycle.

01:09:14.380 Woo.

01:09:14.860 Woo.

01:09:15.060 It sounds like you trying

01:09:17.080 to go, uh, catch a bag of

01:09:19.460 dope.

01:09:19.720 Cause usually if you see an

01:09:20.700 adult male doing 30 MPHs on a

01:09:24.300 bicicleta, he's after that.

01:09:27.240 You feel me?

01:09:29.040 Hey, dude, he's on that, uh,

01:09:30.940 tour to dust.

01:09:31.860 He's a, he's hitting them

01:09:34.780 French Alps to go get them

01:09:36.880 white caps.

01:09:37.940 You feel me?

01:09:39.140 And I'm going and before I

01:09:41.580 know what I'm just, you

01:09:42.220 know, I saw the green and I'm

01:09:43.220 going for it and I see

01:09:44.040 someone's making a left turn

01:09:45.260 and I'm just, I see it

01:09:46.620 coming.

01:09:46.980 I had about maybe one second

01:09:48.760 before I'm like, yep, this

01:09:49.840 is a, yeah, I just let out one

01:09:51.820 big, just what do you think

01:09:54.960 it was a fart?

01:09:56.580 Fuck.

01:09:57.400 Oh, just a fuck.

01:09:58.700 Okay.

01:09:59.460 And I just, I smacked the

01:10:01.860 side of his car.

01:10:03.500 And of course I go, you

01:10:04.800 know, uh, I fly up, I do a

01:10:06.460 little, you know, dinner goes

01:10:08.160 everywhere.

01:10:08.980 Uh, I'm on the top of his

01:10:10.500 car a little bit and then I

01:10:11.760 kind of push and roll off and

01:10:13.600 land in the road.

01:10:15.000 Cops end up showing up

01:10:16.100 because he goes ahead and

01:10:17.020 call them, told me I didn't

01:10:18.060 have a light on my bicycle

01:10:19.040 or whatever.

01:10:19.580 And they're good.

01:10:19.920 It's like, it's okay.

01:10:20.700 Cops show up.

01:10:21.860 They, uh, you know, they

01:10:22.800 just talk some information.

01:10:24.100 It's whatever.

01:10:24.640 It's good.

01:10:25.020 I'm walking.

01:10:25.720 It's all good.

01:10:26.480 The police officer, he did a

01:10:27.940 thing and, uh, he fixed my

01:10:29.000 bike right there on the

01:10:29.660 spot.

01:10:29.960 So shout out to him and

01:10:31.080 TV, you know what I mean?

01:10:32.760 Okay.

01:10:33.120 So you had some help from

01:10:33.860 the officers.

01:10:34.340 You hit a car with your

01:10:35.300 bike.

01:10:35.660 You didn't have a light on

01:10:36.520 it, man.

01:10:38.360 I can't do it.

01:10:39.040 Honestly, I can't stand a

01:10:40.300 lot of times.

01:10:41.140 Sometimes, especially in

01:10:42.100 Los Angeles, they try to

01:10:43.000 force everything into,

01:10:44.440 there's already so much

01:10:45.160 traffic.

01:10:46.260 And then they got, you

01:10:47.200 know, bicyclists and

01:10:48.380 everybody got jugglers.

01:10:49.820 They got a lane for

01:10:50.840 unicyclists.

01:10:51.920 They got a lane for

01:10:53.060 people that are afraid to

01:10:53.960 be outside.

01:10:55.320 Uh, they got a lane for

01:10:56.340 people with, uh, I did a

01:10:57.980 ride animals.

01:10:59.060 They got a lane for people

01:11:00.360 that, um, are afraid of

01:11:02.520 the sunlight.

01:11:03.600 You know, they got a lane

01:11:04.580 for complete bitches.

01:11:06.980 So, and you know, look in

01:11:08.400 California, some of this

01:11:09.360 stuff gets way, it gets to

01:11:10.780 be too much.

01:11:12.380 I mean, I don't know if you

01:11:13.180 had a bike helmet on or

01:11:14.220 not.

01:11:14.820 Honestly, I hope you

01:11:15.600 didn't bro, but not in a

01:11:16.680 bad way for you.

01:11:18.280 I can't trust an adult male

01:11:19.860 that wears a bike helmet.

01:11:22.300 Sorry.

01:11:23.620 I'd, you know, I'd rather

01:11:25.820 my dad, you know, be

01:11:27.900 jarred up in the brain

01:11:29.100 than hear him tell me a

01:11:30.540 story about when he got

01:11:31.460 hit by a car and had a

01:11:32.440 helmet on.

01:11:34.120 I just can't because I

01:11:35.500 picked, then I would

01:11:36.060 picture him with a helmet

01:11:36.960 with shorts, riding a

01:11:38.420 bicycle.

01:11:39.220 And then I would just,

01:11:40.320 you know, picture him

01:11:41.120 hopefully just riding on

01:11:42.100 out of my life because I

01:11:43.700 can't imagine that as a

01:11:45.640 man that my cheese mow in

01:11:47.100 me, what little I have,

01:11:49.040 I can't imagine, I can't

01:11:51.320 imagine a man, a father

01:11:52.860 that, that is not, that's

01:11:55.120 not for me.

01:11:56.780 You know, I want that dad

01:11:57.740 that gets, you know, maybe

01:11:59.120 he gets iced out by that,

01:12:00.720 by a Trans Am or

01:12:02.560 something because I got

01:12:03.100 hit by a Trans Am when I

01:12:04.120 was young and he didn't

01:12:05.700 have a helmet on and he's

01:12:06.660 a little different, but he's

01:12:07.580 still my dad.

01:12:08.700 And there's no pictures of

01:12:09.600 him anywhere or proof that

01:12:10.840 he ever wore a bike helmet

01:12:11.840 as an adult male.

01:12:12.880 So, is that a, is that a

01:12:15.160 crazy weekend?

01:12:16.340 Look, it's tough.

01:12:17.100 It sounds tough for you.

01:12:17.960 Dinner went everywhere.

01:12:18.660 You lost the dinner.

01:12:19.460 I feel bad for you, bro.

01:12:20.640 I appreciate you calling

01:12:21.580 with that.

01:12:22.020 If you have a good one or a

01:12:22.960 bad one, you can hit the

01:12:23.620 hotline.

01:12:25.580 Oh, all right.

01:12:27.340 Let's take a, let's take

01:12:29.620 another one.

01:12:30.860 Here we go.

01:12:32.620 Hey, Theo.

01:12:33.140 It's Matt out here in

01:12:33.880 Nashville again.

01:12:35.180 Hey, Matt from Nashville.

01:12:36.500 Thank you for calling.

01:12:37.260 I'll be coming there, I

01:12:38.020 believe in September

01:12:39.020 onward.

01:12:39.800 I just wanted to kind

01:12:42.200 of talk to you about

01:12:42.800 smoking cigarettes a little

01:12:43.740 bit, because there's

01:12:45.100 something that Ari said a

01:12:46.120 long time ago about when

01:12:48.420 people quit cigarettes, they

01:12:49.880 want to tell everybody

01:12:52.280 around them that they're

01:12:53.260 quitting cigarettes and

01:12:54.080 everybody goes, oh,

01:12:54.840 congratulations, you know,

01:12:55.840 good for you.

01:12:56.420 But it kind of jacks up your

01:12:57.940 reward system because you

01:12:59.120 get that, that final outcome

01:13:01.180 of what you're looking for

01:13:02.160 that like, oh, I did it.

01:13:03.360 But you get it in the

01:13:04.020 beginning when you haven't

01:13:04.820 really done any work.

01:13:06.180 Oh, that's interesting, Matt.

01:13:07.980 I'm definitely guilty of

01:13:09.620 that.

01:13:11.380 I'm definitely, yeah, I'll

01:13:12.400 have like two days, you

01:13:14.400 know, or go a few days

01:13:15.460 where I won't smoke or I

01:13:16.660 won't do a certain thing

01:13:17.940 or, and then if I tell

01:13:19.740 people, then it's over.

01:13:22.720 Wow, I never thought about

01:13:23.780 it that the reward system

01:13:24.860 that I get that reward

01:13:25.900 because then I'm like,

01:13:28.040 excuse me, then they hear

01:13:29.000 like, oh, congratulations.

01:13:30.380 And I hear that and I'm

01:13:31.200 like, oh, great.

01:13:32.040 People are already excited.

01:13:33.140 I'm already doing great.

01:13:34.500 And then, then there's no

01:13:37.320 gold medal out there.

01:13:39.240 It's almost the same thing

01:13:40.340 in a way of like that

01:13:41.160 everybody gets a trophy for

01:13:42.380 playing in the ball game.

01:13:43.960 You know, everybody gets a

01:13:44.720 trophy that says you're

01:13:45.420 great at baseball.

01:13:47.100 That's a trophy.

01:13:49.380 You know, one of my nephews

01:13:50.260 got that trophy.

01:13:50.880 You're great at baseball.

01:13:52.180 Everybody got it.

01:13:53.120 What the hell?

01:13:55.280 What does that even mean?

01:13:56.360 So, and one of their kids

01:13:59.760 on their team was blind.

01:14:00.680 He's, but he, you know,

01:14:01.180 he can't see.

01:14:01.920 God bless him.

01:14:03.120 You know, and he might be

01:14:03.920 able to see later.

01:14:04.720 Let's don't feel too sorry

01:14:05.580 for him because we don't

01:14:06.480 know what God has planned

01:14:07.320 for him.

01:14:08.420 You know what I'm saying?

01:14:09.620 He might bust out with

01:14:10.880 those new fucking sight

01:14:12.900 sockets in two years.

01:14:14.640 And he may be, you know,

01:14:16.640 he may, you know, he may go

01:14:17.840 from just black to 64 colors.

01:14:20.740 You know what I'm saying?

01:14:21.320 He may be just that

01:14:22.060 renegade with that Roy Gbiv.

01:14:23.520 He may change the game up.

01:14:24.700 So let's don't feel too

01:14:25.380 sorry for the young guy

01:14:26.400 at this point.

01:14:28.360 But he got one.

01:14:30.460 So now he got to fucking

01:14:31.720 have his, now his,

01:14:33.340 somebody got to read that to him.

01:14:34.540 You're great at baseball.

01:14:36.200 So he's sitting there

01:14:37.220 in his head thinking

01:14:38.500 I'm great at baseball,

01:14:39.640 but I can't even fucking see.

01:14:42.180 So then what does he go to do?

01:14:43.960 He turns into evil Knievel.

01:14:45.420 Next, you know,

01:14:45.740 he think he could do anything.

01:14:48.140 You know, and he rides

01:14:49.240 a motorized bike

01:14:50.420 or a motorized cart

01:14:51.420 or something out in the traffic.

01:14:53.940 You know, just sometimes

01:14:54.900 we don't want to lead people

01:14:55.800 astray with some of these ideas.

01:14:58.620 And we don't want to give him

01:14:59.500 that reward before there

01:15:00.780 is a reason for it.

01:15:01.960 And I do that.

01:15:04.260 I'm grateful you brought

01:15:05.080 that to my attention

01:15:05.580 because I do that, Matt.

01:15:07.380 You know, I want that.

01:15:08.260 And I don't know if it's

01:15:08.840 that I want the reward.

01:15:10.160 And so that's why

01:15:10.780 I tell people.

01:15:13.240 You know, let's hear more.

01:15:14.120 What do you have to,

01:15:14.580 what other thoughts

01:15:15.400 do you have, Matt?

01:15:15.860 I put smoking cigarettes

01:15:17.060 when I did

01:15:17.560 and that was about

01:15:18.140 three years ago,

01:15:18.880 but I'll be honest

01:15:20.380 with you, man.

01:15:20.800 I've been,

01:15:21.320 it's been about three weeks

01:15:22.680 now I've been back

01:15:23.300 on the fucking...

01:15:24.620 Oh, you back on them.

01:15:26.940 You back on them.

01:15:27.920 Yeah.

01:15:28.340 Oh, they get you.

01:15:30.260 A cigarette,

01:15:31.220 sometimes it seems like

01:15:31.980 they got a long arm

01:15:33.600 sticking out the bottom

01:15:34.680 of them

01:15:35.080 with a strong hand on it.

01:15:37.500 And just when you think

01:15:38.540 you just out there,

01:15:39.820 just like trick-lung Mickey

01:15:41.960 with them new clean hitters,

01:15:43.400 and then they drag you

01:15:46.460 right back in.

01:15:47.900 More?

01:15:48.700 White hitters.

01:15:49.620 I've been on them hard again.

01:15:51.680 And so I know

01:15:52.640 how you're feeling, man.

01:15:53.420 I know how the struggle is.

01:15:54.920 Fucking real addiction.

01:15:56.580 But it's dumb as fuck too

01:15:58.420 and you know that, so.

01:16:00.320 I do.

01:16:01.180 And you're right.

01:16:02.380 And you know what I can feel

01:16:03.260 is even,

01:16:03.700 I can feel my lungs

01:16:04.620 start to have a memory

01:16:05.900 of a cigarette.

01:16:07.520 And that's the thing

01:16:08.400 that gets scary

01:16:09.060 is when you can feel

01:16:09.640 your lungs like,

01:16:10.880 oh, oh,

01:16:11.520 you know,

01:16:12.140 it's almost like

01:16:12.940 they're thinking.

01:16:14.720 I can feel my lungs

01:16:15.560 almost thinking

01:16:16.340 about a cigarette.

01:16:18.280 And that might sound crazy,

01:16:19.840 but

01:16:20.020 wouldn't be surprised

01:16:22.220 if I am.

01:16:23.020 Thanks for calling up, Matt.

01:16:24.080 Yeah, maybe I should watch out

01:16:25.060 with that reward system,

01:16:26.060 but, you know,

01:16:26.420 just giving myself

01:16:27.100 the you're great at baseball

01:16:28.500 when I've only been,

01:16:30.000 you know,

01:16:30.540 barely swinging a bat

01:16:31.480 for two days.

01:16:34.260 Let's crack into more.

01:16:37.100 Hey, Mr. Vaughn.

01:16:38.520 I just finished watching

01:16:39.800 that Tinfoil Hat

01:16:41.400 podcast

01:16:42.520 when you were there

01:16:43.360 with Eddie Bravo.

01:16:46.560 At one point, man,

01:16:48.520 it was so funny.

01:16:49.740 You looked like,

01:16:51.080 you looked like me

01:16:52.100 in my first calculus class

01:16:54.120 when the teacher tells me,

01:16:55.960 yeah, calculus,

01:16:57.360 you remember that time

01:16:58.120 in the fifth grade

01:17:00.260 when you,

01:17:00.920 when they taught you this

01:17:01.820 was the same thing.

01:17:03.340 And it just blew my mind

01:17:04.820 that they wanted me

01:17:05.420 to remember all that stuff

01:17:07.140 after years and years.

01:17:09.020 it was so funny, man.

01:17:11.560 Well, thanks for calling

01:17:12.560 in about that.

01:17:13.080 Yeah, I went on

01:17:13.780 Tinfoil Hat podcast.

01:17:14.840 If you haven't seen

01:17:15.160 this podcast,

01:17:16.060 it's, you know,

01:17:18.280 they talk a lot about

01:17:19.140 it's with Eddie Bravo

01:17:20.040 and Sam Tripoli,

01:17:21.600 two men that I,

01:17:22.640 that I really admire

01:17:23.500 that make me laugh

01:17:24.340 and, and they, man,

01:17:28.780 but they're,

01:17:29.560 it's, it was off the deep end.

01:17:30.980 I didn't think it was

01:17:31.760 that deep that some people

01:17:33.520 are out there talking about,

01:17:34.640 you know,

01:17:36.040 just things that they see

01:17:37.140 in their, in their,

01:17:37.920 you know, you know,

01:17:39.600 it was everything.

01:17:41.020 And one, by the,

01:17:41.920 I just, it was like JFK,

01:17:43.820 you know, Loch Ness Monster,

01:17:46.260 booby traps, booby traps.

01:17:50.500 You know, we didn't land on,

01:17:52.940 you know, it was just

01:17:53.960 Tower 7, Tower 62.

01:17:57.400 I couldn't even function.

01:17:59.920 I thought I was going to end up

01:18:00.700 on a list and I had to,

01:18:01.660 I had to bow out.

01:18:02.520 You know, I'm certainly open

01:18:04.480 to talking about

01:18:05.060 some of those things,

01:18:06.040 conspiracy theories,

01:18:07.660 flat earth,

01:18:08.600 thinking about that.

01:18:10.200 But this was deep.

01:18:13.220 This was deep.

01:18:14.720 And, and I didn't know

01:18:15.540 that people went that deep.

01:18:17.080 And that to me,

01:18:18.440 I don't want to be

01:18:19.560 in that depth.

01:18:20.820 I do not want to be

01:18:22.000 in that depth

01:18:22.440 because I can't handle it.

01:18:23.980 I couldn't handle it.

01:18:24.820 It was too much at once for me.

01:18:26.600 So I think I need to

01:18:27.620 wade in the water.

01:18:32.520 I got to get in there easy.

01:18:33.560 I got to take it in slow.

01:18:35.200 You know, I got to get in there slow.

01:18:36.520 That's the deep end for me.

01:18:39.000 But thanks for calling in about that,

01:18:40.880 about that Tinfoil Hat podcast.

01:18:43.160 And look, I was thinking about this,

01:18:44.300 about the moon landing.

01:18:45.100 Here's one thing that strikes me

01:18:46.120 about the moon landing.

01:18:48.060 For one, I've met Buzz Aldrin

01:18:50.020 and I looked in his eyes

01:18:52.160 and he didn't look,

01:18:54.580 to me,

01:18:55.600 it didn't look like

01:18:56.600 he had been to the moon.

01:18:59.380 And I'm not saying that,

01:19:00.980 you know,

01:19:01.680 everybody got that special

01:19:03.400 lunar glow in their eye.

01:19:06.660 You know,

01:19:07.280 everybody's got that galactic twinkle

01:19:09.320 in one of their fucking face balls

01:19:12.260 if they have been to the moon.

01:19:13.680 But he didn't have it for me.

01:19:15.660 You know,

01:19:17.380 sometimes you meet somebody

01:19:18.340 and it looks like,

01:19:19.180 oh yeah,

01:19:19.800 it looks like they've been to Canada

01:19:21.820 or it looks like they've been to Africa

01:19:23.740 or they look,

01:19:24.520 you know,

01:19:25.060 exhausted

01:19:25.600 and they smell like popcorn

01:19:26.620 and it looks like

01:19:27.900 they've been to the mall.

01:19:30.340 Well,

01:19:30.640 I looked at Mr. B. Aldrin

01:19:32.700 and I looked at him

01:19:34.400 and I was like,

01:19:35.140 hmm,

01:19:36.340 the look in his eyes,

01:19:37.220 it didn't look like

01:19:38.120 he had been to the moon.

01:19:40.440 Now,

01:19:40.800 that's just what I'm saying.

01:19:43.240 Also,

01:19:43.720 I was thinking about this.

01:19:44.500 Can you believe that

01:19:45.980 we sent manned mission to the moon

01:19:48.340 and successfully did it

01:19:51.000 the first time?

01:19:53.860 What?

01:19:56.240 What?

01:19:59.040 Nobody does anything right

01:20:00.840 the first time.

01:20:02.820 What are the odds

01:20:04.560 that we did it

01:20:05.780 the first time?

01:20:07.580 That's what gets me.

01:20:09.040 The first time we tried it?

01:20:11.120 Oh,

01:20:11.360 we did it.

01:20:12.440 Really?

01:20:12.980 Nah.

01:20:16.940 I just can't fathom that.

01:20:18.720 I can't fathom that

01:20:19.660 the first time we tried it,

01:20:20.540 we did it.

01:20:22.040 It seemed like

01:20:22.640 maybe the 60th time

01:20:24.380 we get it right.

01:20:26.640 Because,

01:20:27.100 dude,

01:20:27.220 you're going through

01:20:27.760 all types of like

01:20:28.500 the Van Horn belt

01:20:29.700 or whatever.

01:20:32.140 Or the Van,

01:20:33.060 yeah,

01:20:33.280 I think it's a Van Horn belt.

01:20:34.260 There's so many things

01:20:35.120 you're doing out there.

01:20:37.960 No,

01:20:38.340 it's not the Van Horn belt.

01:20:39.520 What is it?

01:20:39.920 Yeah,

01:20:40.860 there's something,

01:20:41.420 I don't know,

01:20:42.000 shit.

01:20:42.500 But it's something like

01:20:43.180 they got that baby belt

01:20:44.440 out there

01:20:44.880 where all these little rocks

01:20:45.740 are coming at you,

01:20:46.680 meteoroids,

01:20:48.220 you know,

01:20:48.940 Megasaurus or whatever.

01:20:50.580 They got all of that shit

01:20:51.360 out there.

01:20:52.540 Milky Way,

01:20:53.300 galaxy,

01:20:53.880 galaxy,

01:20:54.540 everything,

01:20:55.960 you know,

01:20:57.160 side,

01:20:57.880 side angle,

01:20:58.760 whatever.

01:20:59.420 Everything's out there

01:21:00.120 attacking you

01:21:00.780 and we got it.

01:21:01.880 We landed the first time.

01:21:04.500 That's the part

01:21:05.240 that's for me

01:21:05.920 that I don't know.

01:21:08.120 Dude,

01:21:08.320 I tried to drive

01:21:08.840 to Jacksonville one time,

01:21:10.380 got on the wrong road

01:21:11.940 the first time

01:21:12.960 I tried to drive

01:21:13.840 to Jacksonville,

01:21:14.960 okay,

01:21:16.280 and ended up

01:21:18.200 in about 80 miles

01:21:21.320 north of Tallahassee.

01:21:23.320 So,

01:21:24.120 just saying.

01:21:25.780 And I'm not incompetent.

01:21:27.380 I'm decently competent.

01:21:28.540 I'm probably 80% competent.

01:21:32.860 So,

01:21:33.340 you're telling me

01:21:33.660 we got to the moon

01:21:34.240 the first time we tried,

01:21:35.140 landed,

01:21:35.540 got out,

01:21:36.400 people are dancing

01:21:37.100 and stuff like that?

01:21:38.400 Doubt skis,

01:21:39.340 okay?

01:21:39.940 I'm not trying to go

01:21:40.500 full Polish on you,

01:21:41.720 but doubt skis.

01:21:44.700 Let's take another call here

01:21:46.120 that came in.

01:21:47.120 Here we go.

01:21:47.960 Here we go,

01:21:48.800 Joe.

01:21:49.400 Hey, Theo.

01:21:50.160 This is Joe in Minnesota.

01:21:52.700 Hey,

01:21:52.980 I just want to touch base

01:21:54.020 with you on your comments

01:21:55.540 about the school shootings

01:21:57.120 and AR-15s

01:21:58.520 and...

01:21:59.520 Thanks for calling Joe

01:22:00.280 from Minnesota.

01:22:01.040 I'm looking for a spot

01:22:02.080 to do a couple shows

01:22:03.320 on a Saturday night

01:22:04.040 in Minnesota.

01:22:04.440 If you know of one

01:22:05.500 that seats about,

01:22:06.880 you know,

01:22:07.160 150 to 200,

01:22:08.700 let me know.

01:22:09.900 Trying to get that done here

01:22:11.000 in the next couple of weeks

01:22:12.080 and just put it on the schedule

01:22:14.420 for a little bit later in the year.

01:22:15.620 You can just drop me a DM.

01:22:17.000 Look,

01:22:17.320 I already know

01:22:17.660 the regular comedy clubs

01:22:18.620 I already know,

01:22:19.780 but most of them

01:22:20.460 they want you there

01:22:20.940 for a full weekend.

01:22:21.980 I'm already there

01:22:22.480 for a Friday night

01:22:23.340 doing some like

01:22:24.700 Gary Vaynerchuk

01:22:25.760 performance thing,

01:22:27.820 but I want to do

01:22:28.560 my own show there.

01:22:30.140 So,

01:22:30.580 just hit the hotline

01:22:31.660 or send me a DM.

01:22:33.080 But onward.

01:22:34.780 If they're to blame

01:22:35.660 or they should be banned

01:22:36.620 or...

01:22:37.100 Let me start you over,

01:22:38.080 Joe,

01:22:38.180 so I can pay more attention.

01:22:39.240 Please.

01:22:39.700 Thanks.

01:22:40.380 Well,

01:22:40.500 this is Joe

01:22:41.160 in Minnesota.

01:22:43.000 Hey,

01:22:43.280 I just want to touch base

01:22:44.340 to do you on your comments

01:22:45.840 about the school shootings

01:22:47.420 and the AR-15s and...

01:22:49.800 Yep.

01:22:50.520 Thank you for calling in

01:22:51.740 about that.

01:22:52.300 More?

01:22:53.280 If they're to blame

01:22:54.240 or they should be banned

01:22:55.200 or whatnot,

01:22:56.660 I think the main reason

01:22:58.040 we get these shootings

01:22:58.960 is because they're on the news

01:23:01.120 and we show the kids' face

01:23:03.180 and we give their name

01:23:04.800 and their whole background.

01:23:07.140 We've got to knock that off

01:23:08.820 right away.

01:23:11.200 That's a great point.

01:23:12.520 We make,

01:23:13.000 you know,

01:23:13.640 we don't make...

01:23:15.380 I'm not saying we make

01:23:16.220 heroes out of these people,

01:23:17.780 out of these kids

01:23:18.460 that do this,

01:23:19.580 but we certainly...

01:23:22.520 I mean,

01:23:23.680 yeah,

01:23:23.860 we put their faces,

01:23:24.940 we put all this information,

01:23:26.140 we put their,

01:23:26.800 you know,

01:23:27.060 the videos that they...

01:23:28.180 You know,

01:23:28.440 if they made a video

01:23:29.140 before they did it

01:23:30.000 and before they harmed themselves

01:23:31.400 or committed suicide,

01:23:33.020 all that stuff goes out

01:23:34.320 and immediately,

01:23:36.400 without even knowing

01:23:37.400 the effects

01:23:38.040 what that has long term,

01:23:39.200 and without even knowing,

01:23:41.540 you know,

01:23:43.000 if that desensitizes

01:23:44.100 other children

01:23:44.800 at a certain point,

01:23:46.640 but yeah,

01:23:47.280 you're in a world

01:23:48.620 and at a time

01:23:49.340 where social media

01:23:51.040 and digital acclaim

01:23:52.580 and having a digital persona

01:23:55.380 is everything

01:23:58.260 or not everything,

01:23:59.640 but it's a lot of things,

01:24:01.340 especially I'm assuming

01:24:02.540 like in high school,

01:24:04.260 you know,

01:24:04.440 a lot of these kids,

01:24:05.260 you know,

01:24:05.500 younger people live

01:24:06.320 on their tablets.

01:24:07.040 I mean,

01:24:07.940 at my age alone,

01:24:08.640 we're already infected

01:24:09.440 enough by it,

01:24:10.420 but,

01:24:11.680 you know,

01:24:13.060 I'm sure that

01:24:13.760 they just see themselves,

01:24:15.280 oh,

01:24:15.420 well,

01:24:15.900 digitally,

01:24:16.400 I'll just be this villain

01:24:17.360 and that'll be my role

01:24:19.260 and I'll be on the news

01:24:21.000 and I'll be,

01:24:21.700 and they'll all be talking

01:24:22.520 about me

01:24:23.140 and somebody

01:24:24.900 that feels so lonely

01:24:26.160 suddenly knows

01:24:27.860 that they'll,

01:24:28.400 they'll be talked about,

01:24:30.040 that they'll be,

01:24:31.100 that they will be

01:24:33.380 looked at in awe,

01:24:34.760 even if it's

01:24:36.420 a negative awe,

01:24:38.260 but they're looked at

01:24:39.220 in awe

01:24:39.700 and for somebody

01:24:41.880 that feels

01:24:42.260 probably never recognized

01:24:43.900 to then have the opportunity

01:24:46.040 to be looked at

01:24:46.640 in awe,

01:24:49.840 I mean,

01:24:50.340 that's,

01:24:51.180 that's,

01:24:52.040 it's,

01:24:52.460 you know,

01:24:52.880 yeah,

01:24:53.200 we do that,

01:24:53.860 it's,

01:24:54.200 it's probably not helpful

01:24:55.440 and they,

01:24:56.980 you know,

01:24:57.280 I'm sure the news,

01:24:58.220 the news does not care.

01:25:00.540 You want to talk about

01:25:01.560 an organ

01:25:01.980 that I don't think

01:25:02.580 has a,

01:25:03.100 has a brain

01:25:03.960 in its brain

01:25:04.840 or in its heart.

01:25:05.900 I think it's some

01:25:06.740 of these news networks.

01:25:07.920 I really do

01:25:08.760 and you don't have

01:25:10.200 to agree with me

01:25:10.760 on that

01:25:11.060 and that's okay

01:25:11.600 and I could be wrong.

01:25:13.040 I really could.

01:25:14.560 Onward.

01:25:15.240 I think you'll see

01:25:15.760 them disappear

01:25:16.480 or hopefully disappear

01:25:19.740 after that happens.

01:25:21.040 I know we could do that.

01:25:22.480 We're a free country

01:25:23.420 where people can report

01:25:24.360 on anything

01:25:24.800 but I think

01:25:26.020 that has to change

01:25:26.880 as far as the guns go.

01:25:29.960 You know,

01:25:30.380 you can't,

01:25:31.840 I don't think

01:25:32.440 you can blame

01:25:32.840 the guns at all.

01:25:34.120 We're a free country

01:25:34.920 where we can have

01:25:35.560 a lot of dangerous toys

01:25:37.620 and do dangerous things

01:25:38.820 and,

01:25:39.800 you know,

01:25:40.100 you start taking

01:25:40.640 those things away.

01:25:42.620 You take away

01:25:43.180 the AR-15,

01:25:44.100 you take away

01:25:44.640 the car

01:25:45.880 that can go

01:25:46.280 155 miles an hour

01:25:47.800 and you take away

01:25:49.260 the right to go

01:25:50.420 in a liquor store,

01:25:51.100 get a fifth

01:25:51.760 of Jack Daniels

01:25:52.620 and dress up

01:25:54.160 your pit bull

01:25:54.740 like a minion

01:25:55.520 and take him

01:25:56.380 to your sister's

01:25:56.880 birthday party.

01:25:57.500 He can do

01:25:58.460 all kinds

01:25:58.820 of stupid shit

01:25:59.480 and anyway,

01:26:01.820 that's just my two.

01:26:03.440 I appreciate your two there,

01:26:04.800 Joe from Minnesota.

01:26:06.300 Yeah,

01:26:06.820 yeah,

01:26:07.360 I know that's a lot

01:26:07.900 of people's fear.

01:26:08.720 Once you start

01:26:09.360 taking away

01:26:09.880 some things

01:26:10.500 that other things,

01:26:11.260 what else are we

01:26:11.720 not going to be able

01:26:12.360 to do?

01:26:12.680 What else are you

01:26:13.080 not going to be able

01:26:13.740 to do?

01:26:15.560 And I had someone

01:26:16.380 send me a DM

01:26:17.080 the other day

01:26:17.540 about,

01:26:17.920 you know,

01:26:18.300 assault rifles

01:26:18.980 and that,

01:26:19.800 you know,

01:26:20.300 they're not the most,

01:26:21.200 most people don't die

01:26:22.020 from those in America

01:26:22.960 and this sort of thing.

01:26:24.280 I get that

01:26:25.180 but I think

01:26:26.300 as a general idea,

01:26:27.300 if it helps people

01:26:28.140 feel more comfortable

01:26:29.700 even though it might

01:26:30.620 not actually solve

01:26:31.780 anything,

01:26:32.940 then does it hurt

01:26:35.240 to pass laws

01:26:37.120 that you need

01:26:37.580 more time

01:26:38.160 to get a gun?

01:26:39.960 That you,

01:26:40.620 that they don't

01:26:41.420 make guns

01:26:42.100 that,

01:26:43.460 you know,

01:26:44.180 how about,

01:26:44.680 what about some

01:26:45.060 hard rubber bullets?

01:26:46.040 What about rubber cars?

01:26:47.480 People die in car

01:26:48.240 accidents every year.

01:26:49.840 Where's the fucks

01:26:51.040 is the rubber cars?

01:26:52.260 You don't think

01:26:53.820 I'll drive a fucking

01:26:54.800 rubber-ari?

01:26:57.180 Huh?

01:26:58.580 You don't think

01:26:59.340 I'll roll in a

01:27:00.740 con-rubber-ertable?

01:27:03.480 Dude,

01:27:04.040 rubber cars.

01:27:05.640 You'd have

01:27:06.220 full-on collisions.

01:27:06.920 You're furious

01:27:07.500 on the interstate

01:27:08.100 at somebody?

01:27:09.100 Have it out.

01:27:12.540 Rubber cars.

01:27:14.280 Dude,

01:27:14.500 imagine putting

01:27:15.300 on a rubber

01:27:15.940 on your yanker

01:27:17.060 and driving

01:27:18.100 a rubber car?

01:27:20.640 Dude,

01:27:21.160 you could drive

01:27:21.800 through the dirtiest

01:27:22.840 ladies or men

01:27:23.780 in town

01:27:24.400 and be fine.

01:27:27.120 You know what I'm

01:27:27.540 saying?

01:27:28.320 You could go

01:27:29.180 four-wheel drive

01:27:30.300 in somebody's

01:27:30.860 deep end

01:27:31.520 and be A-OK.

01:27:34.080 Rubber cars.

01:27:35.000 We need more rubber.

01:27:36.820 And I know

01:27:37.260 we have rubber

01:27:37.840 because we have

01:27:38.220 all these extra trees.

01:27:40.120 Dude,

01:27:40.600 I've been driving,

01:27:41.440 I've been driving

01:27:42.260 past trees before

01:27:43.060 and smelled rubber.

01:27:45.220 So what do you

01:27:45.960 think that is?

01:27:47.060 You telling me

01:27:49.420 that I don't?

01:27:50.600 No.

01:27:51.360 That's rubber,

01:27:52.160 man.

01:27:53.360 Some of these trees

01:27:54.220 have rubber in them.

01:27:54.900 They're hiding it.

01:27:56.160 And we got to

01:27:56.900 get in there.

01:27:57.600 Get in there!

01:27:59.760 And we got to

01:28:00.560 get them.

01:28:00.900 And look,

01:28:01.560 the future is ours,

01:28:02.600 but I'm saying

01:28:03.020 rubber cars.

01:28:04.200 Rubber shirts.

01:28:06.200 Imagine giving

01:28:06.820 somebody a hug

01:28:07.440 and bouncing out

01:28:08.240 of it real fast,

01:28:09.060 right back where you are.

01:28:10.740 Sometimes if you

01:28:11.420 hug somebody,

01:28:12.300 you know,

01:28:12.640 it takes almost

01:28:13.080 a full second

01:28:13.860 to get back

01:28:14.340 to your,

01:28:14.740 you know,

01:28:15.540 natural,

01:28:16.280 you know,

01:28:16.680 position one.

01:28:18.580 Imagine getting

01:28:19.280 in,

01:28:19.580 bouncing right back

01:28:20.520 and you're ready

01:28:20.960 for conversation

01:28:21.640 immediately.

01:28:23.500 That's what I'm

01:28:24.040 talking about.

01:28:25.120 More rubber stuff.

01:28:27.100 We can do it,

01:28:27.860 guys.

01:28:28.540 I know we can.

01:28:30.560 But thank you

01:28:31.140 for calling in

01:28:31.580 with your thoughts

01:28:32.020 there, Joe.

01:28:33.540 Let's take

01:28:34.020 another call here.

01:28:35.180 Here we go.

01:28:35.840 This is a call

01:28:36.640 looking for suggestions.

01:28:37.680 We'll get into

01:28:38.040 some of those.

01:28:39.740 Also,

01:28:40.140 I want to let you know

01:28:40.540 today's episode

01:28:41.040 is brought to you

01:28:41.620 by The Ridge Wallet.

01:28:43.360 The Ridge is a

01:28:44.260 minimalist

01:28:44.660 front pocket wallet.

01:28:46.560 It's an exciting

01:28:47.480 little,

01:28:47.940 little just that,

01:28:49.380 you know,

01:28:49.780 that hard front

01:28:50.880 carry baby bag

01:28:52.060 because sometimes

01:28:53.080 you have that thing

01:28:53.740 in your hip

01:28:54.300 and it looks like,

01:28:55.100 oh,

01:28:55.280 you know,

01:28:55.740 that man has dysplasia.

01:28:58.120 You know,

01:28:58.320 that man,

01:28:58.880 you know,

01:28:59.080 he probably grew up

01:29:00.080 with wild hips

01:29:00.960 and he doesn't know

01:29:01.500 how to use his legs

01:29:02.420 correctly or he walks

01:29:03.480 sideways or,

01:29:05.120 you know,

01:29:05.260 maybe one of his

01:29:05.820 grandparents was a spider.

01:29:07.880 But that's because

01:29:08.760 really it's not

01:29:09.500 anything wrong

01:29:10.160 with that person.

01:29:10.820 It's just they have

01:29:11.240 a rear wallet.

01:29:11.920 So now what you can get

01:29:13.560 is the Ridge Wallet

01:29:14.840 and I use one

01:29:15.620 and at first I wasn't

01:29:16.720 sure about it.

01:29:17.500 By day three,

01:29:18.460 I'm in.

01:29:19.560 Ridge me out.

01:29:21.100 You can get in my Ridge

01:29:22.280 and the Ridge Wallet

01:29:23.920 is a front pocket carry

01:29:24.980 and you get rid of

01:29:26.000 all the old things

01:29:26.600 you were carrying

01:29:27.000 around your wallet

01:29:27.420 you don't need.

01:29:27.900 You don't need that

01:29:28.380 receipt, dude.

01:29:29.460 Nobody,

01:29:30.140 honestly,

01:29:30.580 nobody gives a fuck

01:29:31.420 about it.

01:29:32.540 Not even you.

01:29:34.260 So you can get rid

01:29:34.800 of all those things.

01:29:35.440 The Ridge Wallet,

01:29:36.000 it's simple.

01:29:36.660 It's minimal.

01:29:37.440 You put it in that

01:29:37.980 front pocket.

01:29:38.580 It's that front pocket carry.

01:29:39.620 Go to RidgeWallet.com

01:29:41.000 slash Theo

01:29:42.260 and get that hitter,

01:29:44.360 man.

01:29:44.640 It's a beautiful deal.

01:29:45.480 You get 10% off

01:29:46.340 right there.

01:29:47.640 Now it's a higher,

01:29:48.400 it's a bit of a luxury item.

01:29:50.700 So recognize that

01:29:51.620 it's not for everybody

01:29:52.480 and if you can't afford it,

01:29:53.760 don't feel pressured

01:29:54.520 but it is an item

01:29:55.880 and you can go to

01:29:56.860 RidgeWallet.com

01:29:57.600 slash Theo

01:29:58.240 and get 10% off.

01:30:01.020 All right,

01:30:01.540 let's go into

01:30:01.960 another call here.

01:30:03.560 Happy Memorial Day,

01:30:04.700 everybody.

01:30:05.100 Here we go.

01:30:06.820 What's up, Theo?

01:30:07.820 This is Mike

01:30:08.820 from the 30 Carriers.

01:30:10.980 What's up, Mike?

01:30:11.480 We got a lot of Jersey

01:30:12.300 coming in.

01:30:13.320 Thank you for calling, Mike.

01:30:16.160 I hear you talking

01:30:17.060 about farming

01:30:17.620 and whatnot.

01:30:18.900 I'm working on

01:30:19.660 an organic farm

01:30:20.520 with two other people.

01:30:22.840 Oh, thanks for calling.

01:30:23.860 Yeah, I used to

01:30:24.320 work on corn soaring,

01:30:26.720 cotton,

01:30:28.160 milo.

01:30:29.580 What else do we have?

01:30:30.540 Oh, and bees.

01:30:31.220 We weren't farming bees

01:30:32.080 but them,

01:30:33.360 man,

01:30:34.400 they were hoeing my rows

01:30:35.500 a couple times, bruh.

01:30:36.620 I've definitely been

01:30:37.380 stung out.

01:30:38.260 Onward.

01:30:39.460 A lot of hard work

01:30:40.500 from what I've heard.

01:30:42.500 You've been working

01:30:43.040 on a farm

01:30:43.540 and I love hearing

01:30:44.100 about it.

01:30:45.980 But I was just wondering

01:30:46.860 what should you do

01:30:48.000 when you know more

01:30:50.020 than your boss?

01:30:53.440 It kind of gives me

01:30:54.160 shit.

01:30:54.520 It's not shit.

01:30:55.300 It's just some stuff

01:30:56.560 that doesn't make sense.

01:30:59.040 And I've only been

01:30:59.840 working on this boss

01:31:00.860 for the last

01:31:01.380 maybe two months.

01:31:04.940 Okay, thanks for calling, Mike.

01:31:06.960 What should you do

01:31:07.500 when you know more

01:31:07.980 than your boss?

01:31:09.460 Well,

01:31:10.540 at first I think

01:31:11.280 you should keep it

01:31:11.760 to yourself.

01:31:13.460 You know,

01:31:13.620 sometimes you can try

01:31:14.260 to show it

01:31:14.780 through your work.

01:31:16.980 And if your boss

01:31:17.740 can't see what you,

01:31:19.300 say if you have a way

01:31:20.220 that you think is better,

01:31:21.260 if you just tell them that,

01:31:23.940 you know,

01:31:24.420 just tell them directly,

01:31:26.120 it's almost like on here.

01:31:27.200 It's like if we just

01:31:27.680 offer advice,

01:31:29.300 then it can be tricky.

01:31:30.580 But if we try

01:31:30.980 and offer a suggestion,

01:31:32.260 like,

01:31:33.360 it's just a safer way

01:31:34.280 to do it.

01:31:35.360 So what I would suggest

01:31:36.440 is that first,

01:31:37.800 don't say,

01:31:38.940 don't say anything

01:31:39.900 just off the cuff

01:31:40.780 until you have

01:31:41.160 like a real plan.

01:31:43.020 And two,

01:31:43.460 if you think it's a way

01:31:44.180 that you can help them

01:31:44.900 actually business-wise

01:31:45.960 and save some money,

01:31:47.320 and if they don't see it

01:31:48.580 at first,

01:31:48.960 whatever your method is

01:31:49.960 or your means,

01:31:51.160 then maybe what you need,

01:31:53.480 you need to alter

01:31:54.520 the way that you're

01:31:55.040 showing it to them.

01:31:57.040 And if you know

01:31:57.860 that they just don't take,

01:31:58.920 you know,

01:31:59.700 just a direct,

01:32:01.040 this is how to do it,

01:32:02.140 they're not going to like that,

01:32:02.980 then you need to just

01:32:04.240 show it to them

01:32:05.280 in a way

01:32:06.460 where maybe you don't

01:32:09.060 tell them at all.

01:32:10.320 Maybe you just show them

01:32:11.420 repeatedly by example

01:32:12.840 and then let them suggest it.

01:32:16.480 Because they'll still

01:32:17.420 get the same outcome.

01:32:19.620 You'll still get

01:32:20.320 the same outcome too

01:32:21.140 because

01:32:21.540 then they just see,

01:32:24.140 oh,

01:32:24.280 this person knows

01:32:25.200 what they're doing

01:32:25.980 and they know how to take

01:32:27.580 what I want them to do

01:32:28.680 and to do it better.

01:32:29.600 They're still going

01:32:31.760 to know that.

01:32:32.920 They'll know that.

01:32:34.520 But if you say,

01:32:35.760 oh,

01:32:35.920 this is how to do it,

01:32:37.420 then they may hold it

01:32:39.100 against you

01:32:39.680 and they may not,

01:32:40.920 you know,

01:32:41.760 and then they may let you go

01:32:43.300 and then just start

01:32:44.040 doing it your way

01:32:45.020 with somebody else.

01:32:46.980 You know,

01:32:47.300 they just might not be open

01:32:48.400 to that type of criticism.

01:32:51.260 So I think

01:32:51.940 if they're not seeing

01:32:52.860 the better way

01:32:53.720 that you're showing them

01:32:54.600 and then just try

01:32:56.580 to find a different way

01:32:57.360 to show them.

01:32:57.960 But I would show them

01:32:59.360 instead of tell them.

01:33:00.400 That's what I would try to do.

01:33:03.220 And I think

01:33:03.800 that that could be helpful

01:33:04.820 and that's just

01:33:05.540 a suggestion, dude.

01:33:07.100 Also,

01:33:07.500 I don't know.

01:33:08.660 But yeah,

01:33:09.020 people don't,

01:33:09.380 we don't want to hear it.

01:33:10.020 We don't want to hear it.

01:33:10.880 We don't want to hear

01:33:11.520 that somebody knows

01:33:12.120 better than us

01:33:12.620 a lot of times.

01:33:16.080 We don't want to hear that.

01:33:18.000 Onward.

01:33:18.860 Hey, Theo,

01:33:19.400 what's going on?

01:33:20.200 It's your boy Cody

01:33:21.000 in South Carolina.

01:33:22.380 Thanks for calling Cody.

01:33:23.400 Let's hear more.

01:33:24.600 You're always talking

01:33:25.680 about feeling out of place

01:33:27.040 or inadequate

01:33:27.820 and when I feel inadequate

01:33:30.040 is when I have to

01:33:30.760 take my car

01:33:31.400 to the mechanic.

01:33:32.880 Oh, yeah.

01:33:34.920 That shit can make you

01:33:36.020 really feel just

01:33:36.800 like a tall child.

01:33:39.180 It always feels like

01:33:40.120 I have to take a test

01:33:40.960 when you go in there

01:33:41.800 because it's like,

01:33:42.680 hey, ma'am,

01:33:43.400 you know,

01:33:43.600 something's wrong with my car

01:33:44.340 and they're like,

01:33:44.840 well, what's wrong with it?

01:33:45.880 I'm like,

01:33:46.260 I don't fucking know

01:33:47.000 because I'm not a mechanic.

01:33:48.240 You know,

01:33:48.700 like I don't know shit

01:33:49.500 about mechanics.

01:33:50.480 Like I'm a manly dude.

01:33:51.820 I do man shit.

01:33:53.080 You know,

01:33:53.280 I've been to Afghanistan

01:33:54.060 deployment.

01:33:55.020 I got a family.

01:33:55.780 Thanks for your service,

01:33:57.160 bud.

01:33:57.580 Onward.

01:33:58.000 I do think

01:33:59.260 that I don't know

01:34:00.140 anything about cars.

01:34:01.680 So when I go in there,

01:34:03.040 I feel like this guy's

01:34:03.940 got one up on me,

01:34:05.000 you know,

01:34:05.780 already.

01:34:06.380 And then you never know

01:34:08.420 how much it's going to cost.

01:34:10.160 It's like waiting

01:34:11.060 like some sort of

01:34:12.580 AIDS test for your car.

01:34:14.040 When you go back in there,

01:34:15.900 it might be $100.

01:34:17.180 It might be fucking $700.

01:34:19.520 Yeah,

01:34:19.900 you don't know.

01:34:20.820 And that's,

01:34:21.120 you know,

01:34:21.400 and that feels,

01:34:22.700 you feel,

01:34:24.060 or I feel,

01:34:24.940 whenever that happens,

01:34:26.060 I feel like I'm able,

01:34:26.860 someone could really

01:34:27.420 take advantage of me.

01:34:28.580 And that's not a good feeling.

01:34:30.260 So,

01:34:30.800 my question is like,

01:34:32.100 if there's any mechanics

01:34:32.980 out there,

01:34:34.000 how should we approach

01:34:35.160 a mechanic?

01:34:35.740 We don't know shit,

01:34:36.820 dude,

01:34:37.340 you know?

01:34:38.340 That's a good question.

01:34:39.260 And look,

01:34:39.520 we had a mechanic

01:34:40.000 that called in earlier.

01:34:41.600 You know,

01:34:42.240 that was Brian.

01:34:43.260 So maybe he'll be able to,

01:34:44.140 if he hears this,

01:34:44.920 he'll be able to send in a call

01:34:46.020 and we'll put it on

01:34:46.680 next week's episode

01:34:47.720 to have an answer.

01:34:48.540 But yeah,

01:34:49.060 if you're a consumer

01:34:50.360 with a car

01:34:51.080 and you go to a mechanic,

01:34:52.060 how do you get it right?

01:34:54.000 I mean,

01:34:54.240 here's some things

01:34:54.840 that I could suggest,

01:34:55.620 bro,

01:34:55.800 is that,

01:34:57.260 you know,

01:34:59.020 I had a police officer

01:35:00.760 one time

01:35:01.160 was giving me a ticket.

01:35:03.040 Oh,

01:35:03.180 he was actually impounding.

01:35:04.260 They were taking my car in

01:35:05.260 because I had bad plates

01:35:06.820 and I had this and that

01:35:07.840 and,

01:35:08.540 you know,

01:35:08.700 I hadn't taken care

01:35:09.260 of my responsibilities.

01:35:11.060 And so this gentleman,

01:35:12.580 as he's writing it up

01:35:13.580 and he said,

01:35:13.940 they're coming to tow it

01:35:15.080 and all this.

01:35:16.420 I said,

01:35:16.900 look,

01:35:17.160 man,

01:35:17.380 I said,

01:35:17.760 I just want you to know,

01:35:18.660 I said,

01:35:18.880 I wouldn't do this to you.

01:35:20.780 That's what I told him.

01:35:22.180 And at first he was being real,

01:35:23.460 you know,

01:35:23.820 he was,

01:35:24.220 I don't know,

01:35:24.400 maybe that crazy day.

01:35:25.260 I don't know.

01:35:25.460 He was,

01:35:25.840 he was really dicking me,

01:35:27.080 dicking me down,

01:35:27.780 bro.

01:35:28.520 You know,

01:35:29.020 proverbially dicking me down,

01:35:30.480 invisibly dicking me down,

01:35:31.720 just invisible dicks.

01:35:32.580 John,

01:35:32.940 John,

01:35:33.020 John,

01:35:33.180 John,

01:35:33.280 what is that?

01:35:33.900 Oh,

01:35:34.560 invisible bags.

01:35:36.760 But,

01:35:37.200 but then when I said to him,

01:35:39.340 I said,

01:35:39.560 look,

01:35:39.680 man,

01:35:39.780 I wouldn't do this to you.

01:35:41.280 I said,

01:35:41.540 I'm having a tough time right now.

01:35:43.180 You know,

01:35:43.560 I don't have any money.

01:35:44.600 I'm over here for a work meeting.

01:35:45.980 I'm trying to get a little bit of a leg up.

01:35:48.960 And I know I didn't take care of my responsibilities,

01:35:50.700 but you take this car away,

01:35:52.720 man,

01:35:52.960 you know,

01:35:53.140 I need to fly out tonight to the airport.

01:35:55.320 This is going to put me in a really tough position.

01:35:57.720 And I said,

01:35:58.260 I wouldn't do this to you.

01:36:00.340 And he still took my car away.

01:36:02.960 But when I got to the police station to get it out to impound it,

01:36:05.960 he already had all the paperwork done.

01:36:08.240 And the other officer there said,

01:36:09.680 wow,

01:36:09.880 I don't know what you guys talked about,

01:36:11.440 but he never does this.

01:36:14.700 You know,

01:36:15.160 I'm amazed that they have this done.

01:36:16.320 Usually it's a day or something or whatever before they get this paperwork in.

01:36:19.600 And I don't know if that had an effect,

01:36:22.080 but I was just really honest with the guy.

01:36:24.860 And so maybe that's a,

01:36:25.960 you know,

01:36:26.240 what if you went in there and said,

01:36:27.420 look,

01:36:28.660 you know,

01:36:29.720 I'm,

01:36:30.080 you know,

01:36:30.280 my budgets are tight.

01:36:31.480 I have two children,

01:36:33.180 you know,

01:36:33.840 you know,

01:36:34.460 I work off of a GI bill.

01:36:36.520 You know,

01:36:36.680 I'm going through school.

01:36:37.820 I was a service member,

01:36:38.920 whatever.

01:36:41.020 And I don't know anything about mechanicing,

01:36:43.700 you know,

01:36:44.300 now if ways that I could help you,

01:36:45.760 or if you asked me about this,

01:36:47.220 if you asked me about hand-to-hand combat,

01:36:48.840 you asked me about what weapons should I purchase safely to try and protect my family.

01:36:54.240 If you asked me about,

01:36:55.660 you know,

01:36:56.780 what's the best way to stay cool in the Afghanistan summer,

01:37:00.700 you know,

01:37:01.060 those are things you'd be able to help him with,

01:37:02.660 but just say,

01:37:03.340 Hey,

01:37:03.700 you know,

01:37:04.360 these are things I do know.

01:37:05.940 And what I don't know is mechanicing.

01:37:07.760 And I,

01:37:08.240 and I,

01:37:08.680 and I don't know that I can afford to be just screwed over.

01:37:12.360 So I'm asking you just man-to-man,

01:37:15.580 you know,

01:37:17.040 how much does this cost?

01:37:19.200 And just,

01:37:19.920 just know that if you came to me and I was a mechanic and you were a customer,

01:37:23.260 that I would treat you a hundred percent fairly.

01:37:27.020 And if that's true and you would,

01:37:28.800 then he'll,

01:37:29.260 I think he'll feel that.

01:37:30.580 And if you still get an uncomfortable feeling and trust your gut,

01:37:33.520 trust that brain in your gut,

01:37:35.200 baby boy,

01:37:35.840 you got that mid that,

01:37:38.880 you know,

01:37:39.560 that mem belly,

01:37:40.680 that cerebelly.

01:37:43.620 And I think that's it.

01:37:44.680 Sometimes just lay it out straight.

01:37:46.360 Look,

01:37:46.740 here's who I am.

01:37:47.340 Be vulnerable.

01:37:48.700 Here's who I am.

01:37:50.680 This is my scenario.

01:37:51.720 I don't have a million dollars.

01:37:53.700 I can't,

01:37:54.260 you know,

01:37:54.380 and I don't know about mechanicing,

01:37:55.820 but I need some help here.

01:37:58.220 I just need you to know that this is where I am.

01:38:00.180 And I wouldn't take advantage of you.

01:38:02.260 And sometimes when you put it like that to people,

01:38:04.000 it takes it out of that business thing.

01:38:05.840 And it puts it into a human thing.

01:38:08.320 And then they feel better.

01:38:10.000 Instead of making more money,

01:38:11.660 if they have any sort of heart,

01:38:13.600 they feel better about making more esteem for themselves.

01:38:18.720 Because they're not going to screw you over.

01:38:20.300 They're going to do something esteemable.

01:38:22.800 They're going to do something kind.

01:38:25.120 You know,

01:38:25.540 because esteemable people do esteemable things.

01:38:30.200 But that's just a suggestion,

01:38:31.680 man.

01:38:32.100 But good luck out there.

01:38:32.960 I hate that feeling.

01:38:34.500 But we can't know it all.

01:38:36.200 And sometimes we have to be vulnerable.

01:38:38.260 And just assume that the guy's going to treat us well.

01:38:43.820 But good luck,

01:38:44.780 Cody.

01:38:45.140 Thank you for that.

01:38:45.880 Let's take another call here.

01:38:47.700 Hey,

01:38:48.040 you can call me Amy.

01:38:50.240 I'm from Saudi Arabia.

01:38:52.000 Okay.

01:38:52.900 Amy from Saudi Arabia.

01:38:54.380 Thank you for calling.

01:38:54.960 I have been dealing with depression and anxiety too for maybe seven,

01:39:02.380 eight months.

01:39:03.780 Wow.

01:39:05.340 I'm sorry to hear that.

01:39:06.820 Yeah,

01:39:07.180 it's hectic.

01:39:07.520 I can't imagine,

01:39:08.220 especially in Saudi Arabia where it can be really hot.

01:39:10.940 You know,

01:39:11.680 anxiety and depression aren't fun.

01:39:13.340 And they're definitely not fun when it's really hot outside.

01:39:16.200 Let's hear more.

01:39:17.940 Probably more.

01:39:19.200 I don't know.

01:39:19.520 But I can't visit or see a therapist here because,

01:39:24.780 you know,

01:39:25.460 they're very expensive.

01:39:27.480 And from what I've heard,

01:39:29.360 they are very bad.

01:39:31.680 Okay.

01:39:32.340 So she can't see or hear a therapist there because they are very expensive

01:39:36.760 and from what she's heard,

01:39:37.720 very bad.

01:39:38.940 More.

01:39:39.660 But honestly,

01:39:41.000 I don't know why I'm making this call,

01:39:43.160 but maybe you can give me an advice or something that will make this more

01:39:49.740 bearable because I,

01:39:52.540 I had suicidal thoughts for quite a while now.

01:39:58.140 And I still question why,

01:40:00.920 why would someone keep on going when life is pretty shit?

01:40:06.380 And yeah,

01:40:07.520 it can be very bad here.

01:40:09.480 I mean,

01:40:10.680 it's Saudi Arabia.

01:40:11.920 That explains a lot.

01:40:13.500 It's not a friendly country for women,

01:40:16.180 especially for everyone.

01:40:17.780 To be honest.

01:40:18.720 And I just want to say,

01:40:19.780 be good to yourself,

01:40:20.660 to you feel.

01:40:21.740 I really appreciate everything you do.

01:40:24.940 And you're very awesome.

01:40:26.680 Thank you.

01:40:28.560 Thank you.

01:40:30.020 Amy or Annie.

01:40:31.200 I'm sorry.

01:40:31.600 I couldn't hear that part for calling.

01:40:34.280 You know,

01:40:34.760 what's funny is you're saying this in this call.

01:40:36.580 I'm thinking like,

01:40:37.180 well,

01:40:37.260 what if this was my mother calling?

01:40:39.940 You know,

01:40:40.440 what if that was my mother or my sister,

01:40:43.440 you know,

01:40:44.920 calling a phone number in another country to share how they felt?

01:40:48.440 And it makes me,

01:40:50.720 you know,

01:40:50.980 it makes me feel,

01:40:52.560 well,

01:40:53.000 I love you.

01:40:55.360 You know,

01:40:55.980 so don't feel alone.

01:40:57.880 I don't want you to feel that.

01:40:59.140 I can imagine.

01:41:02.280 I,

01:41:02.420 you know,

01:41:02.560 when you said it's very tough there in Saudi Arabia.

01:41:04.580 Yeah.

01:41:04.780 I mean,

01:41:05.180 you know,

01:41:05.480 we always hear that in the news.

01:41:07.540 I mean,

01:41:07.960 I've been to Saudi Arabia before and seen,

01:41:10.140 you know,

01:41:10.540 the men walk and have like three or four women like dressed up,

01:41:13.100 walking behind them.

01:41:13.960 And it's,

01:41:14.960 you know,

01:41:15.240 it has a very,

01:41:16.180 what appeared to me and that look,

01:41:18.860 I was just there in the airport,

01:41:20.560 I think twice to have like a very like subservient type of vibe.

01:41:28.640 I can imagine that,

01:41:30.980 that,

01:41:31.260 yeah,

01:41:31.520 where do you,

01:41:31.900 you know,

01:41:32.340 we don't even think about that.

01:41:33.340 Where do you get mental health help in a place like that?

01:41:39.500 Well,

01:41:39.900 for one,

01:41:40.220 you're reaching out to others.

01:41:41.840 So that's really positive.

01:41:43.960 And you have a beautiful voice and you're not alone.

01:41:50.280 You know,

01:41:50.600 we have,

01:41:51.180 we have a lot of mental health problems here in America.

01:41:55.620 So we have that in common.

01:42:00.640 You know,

01:42:01.340 you know,

01:42:01.820 I don't really know how to help cure your depression.

01:42:04.140 I do know a couple of things that taking a different contrary action can help.

01:42:10.640 So if you get up in the morning and you lay there for an extra half hour and you don't feel

01:42:13.940 good,

01:42:14.220 then,

01:42:14.660 then you know,

01:42:15.400 that's going to happen.

01:42:16.540 If that happens every day,

01:42:17.700 you know,

01:42:18.020 that's going to happen.

01:42:19.260 So you have to do something contrary to that.

01:42:21.560 You have to get up right out of bed,

01:42:23.060 even though you don't want to and take a walk or listen to a song that you like or stretch or smile.

01:42:31.940 Or sometimes I started doing this new thing where I think about,

01:42:34.880 I think about something silly or stupid that I do.

01:42:40.680 You know,

01:42:41.240 I think about something silly or stupid that I do personally and I laugh at myself.

01:42:45.660 And that puts me in a lot of different perspective when I can do that,

01:42:49.660 when I can laugh at myself at the beginning of the day.

01:42:52.420 Because then I'm not taking myself so seriously.

01:42:55.840 You can,

01:42:56.880 you have to take,

01:42:58.120 but I,

01:42:58.880 you know,

01:42:59.180 one thing that helps me is taking contrary action.

01:43:03.180 You know,

01:43:03.740 I know I don't want to go to the gym or to yoga.

01:43:06.200 And so I do it anyway,

01:43:07.180 because if I do it anyway,

01:43:08.760 then I start to train myself to do something different than the previous actions,

01:43:13.240 which have led me all to the same spot to be caught up in my anxiety and caught up in my depression.

01:43:19.720 Because depression will tell you to not do anything.

01:43:22.760 That's one of depression's main weapons.

01:43:24.520 Oh,

01:43:24.660 don't,

01:43:24.960 don't do anything.

01:43:25.940 You feel bad.

01:43:27.840 You know,

01:43:28.460 feelings aren't facts.

01:43:30.880 Feelings are not facts.

01:43:32.200 And you can,

01:43:32.980 if you take a,

01:43:33.580 if you take a contrary action,

01:43:35.180 you take an action,

01:43:36.740 your feelings will follow.

01:43:39.600 There's no way you can go for a walk and not feel a little better than whenever you started the walk.

01:43:47.540 There's no way.

01:43:49.320 That's fact.

01:43:50.160 That's a walk fact.

01:43:51.540 That's a walk fact.

01:43:53.840 Dub F's.

01:43:55.460 So,

01:43:55.740 you know,

01:43:56.080 those are some things,

01:43:56.740 but the cool thing is that I'm just now remembering is we have a guy named Christopher Ryan coming in who wrote a book called Sex at Dawn.

01:44:01.560 He's a psychologist.

01:44:03.200 So he knows more than me in this area for sure.

01:44:07.240 I mean,

01:44:07.420 I've certainly been a victim of anxiety and depression.

01:44:09.880 I certainly know that that shit grows on itself like a moss.

01:44:13.140 And if you stay indoors and you don't get outdoors and you don't get in the sunlight and you don't let the higher powers of the world see you and see that you're a good person and you stay caught up and you stay cloaked inside.

01:44:25.200 You know,

01:44:26.680 and you stay inside of your bubble of nothing can change.

01:44:30.140 Then it's a petri dish for depression and anxiety and that stuff just grows on itself until it's just a dark vine and it's living on the side of your face.

01:44:41.580 And it's one of its tongs of one of its,

01:44:44.940 you know,

01:44:45.440 tentacles is just going into your ear.

01:44:47.900 And every time your brain wants to have a good idea,

01:44:50.280 it just chokes it out,

01:44:52.020 chokes it out a little bit.

01:44:53.400 So you have to take some contrary actions or that's something that's helped me.

01:44:59.180 So that's something that's just an idea.

01:45:01.460 But we're getting,

01:45:01.920 I'll ask him,

01:45:02.500 I'll play this call for him and I'll ask him when he's in here so we can get you a little bit of actual somebody who's certified with a little bit more education,

01:45:10.240 a lot more education.

01:45:11.880 And,

01:45:12.080 and I hear that he's a really great soul as well.

01:45:14.260 He's been on Joe Rogan's podcast.

01:45:16.780 And he's the best.

01:45:18.080 He's,

01:45:18.480 he's a best friend of one of my best friends.

01:45:21.460 So we'll play that for him.

01:45:23.480 Amy or Annie,

01:45:24.600 I couldn't hear your name,

01:45:25.400 but just know that you're not alone and people love you.

01:45:29.680 You know,

01:45:29.940 you,

01:45:30.340 I don't know if you know that,

01:45:31.440 but I never thought in my life about how many women might be suffering with mental health disorders in Saudi Arabia.

01:45:39.880 And you just opened my eyes up to that.

01:45:42.780 So I'm a little,

01:45:43.560 a little upset by that because now that's something that I have to think about.

01:45:46.640 But I'm also grateful because,

01:45:50.780 you know,

01:45:52.180 once we start to get better from some of our ailments,

01:45:56.680 I feel like we have a responsibility to try and help others get better.

01:46:03.220 You know,

01:46:03.940 but keep your head up.

01:46:07.380 All right,

01:46:07.780 young lady,

01:46:09.020 go for a walk and just know that we're thinking about you.

01:46:12.600 We're talking about you right now.

01:46:14.800 Isn't that,

01:46:15.160 that's cool,

01:46:15.680 right?

01:46:15.980 That's cool.

01:46:17.400 All right.

01:46:17.740 Be good.

01:46:18.140 Uh,

01:46:18.760 let's hear another question here.

01:46:20.560 Hey,

01:46:20.840 Theo,

01:46:21.700 I'm a student.

01:46:23.520 I'm starting school on the 4th of June.

01:46:27.160 There's just so much going on and so much changing in the world.

01:46:31.000 And I'm just always,

01:46:33.340 I always feel like I just,

01:46:35.620 I always feel like things could be better.

01:46:38.200 I guess.

01:46:39.020 I just feel like I could be,

01:46:41.960 I could always feel better.

01:46:43.640 I could always be better,

01:46:45.300 better,

01:46:45.940 better,

01:46:46.320 better,

01:46:46.760 you know?

01:46:47.220 And it's just like,

01:46:48.880 man,

01:46:49.380 it's like,

01:46:50.020 fuck.

01:46:50.760 I don't even know,

01:46:51.900 man.

01:46:52.460 All right.

01:46:52.980 I love you,

01:46:53.560 man.

01:46:53.820 But thanks for calling.

01:46:55.720 That's exhausting,

01:46:56.600 isn't it?

01:46:58.060 It's exhausting feeling like things can always be better.

01:47:00.940 Things can always feel better,

01:47:02.740 better,

01:47:03.220 better,

01:47:03.580 better.

01:47:04.500 Yeah.

01:47:05.840 Wow.

01:47:06.280 As you say that,

01:47:06.920 man,

01:47:07.020 I can relate to that so much,

01:47:09.100 you know,

01:47:09.480 I spent,

01:47:09.820 and I still spend half of my day thinking about that,

01:47:13.040 you know,

01:47:13.700 instead of just being grateful for what,

01:47:15.480 where I am,

01:47:17.100 you know,

01:47:17.800 and being grateful that things are better.

01:47:20.660 Things are better.

01:47:21.760 Things are better than when I used to stand around,

01:47:24.140 just put pressing my hands against my hips,

01:47:25.940 thinking I had them in my pockets.

01:47:28.580 You know,

01:47:29.020 things are better.

01:47:30.540 You know,

01:47:31.060 now when I'm able to like,

01:47:32.840 um,

01:47:33.640 I'm able to sit here and think about,

01:47:36.240 with other people about their issues,

01:47:38.280 instead of just being stuck in my own,

01:47:42.940 you know,

01:47:43.200 things are better.

01:47:44.920 You know,

01:47:45.380 things are better when,

01:47:46.720 you know,

01:47:47.120 I'm able to go home and,

01:47:48.740 uh,

01:47:50.060 and,

01:47:51.040 you know,

01:47:51.120 be upset by something that,

01:47:52.760 you know,

01:47:53.080 my mother didn't do on purpose,

01:47:54.800 that it's just inadvertent.

01:47:56.900 But it reminded me of all these feelings of how like,

01:48:00.240 um,

01:48:01.360 my mother was never available to me.

01:48:03.920 But now I know that,

01:48:05.660 that,

01:48:06.480 that time is over.

01:48:09.100 And she doesn't feel it that way.

01:48:10.900 She doesn't know it that way.

01:48:13.160 You know,

01:48:13.680 all she knows is that she loves me now.

01:48:16.360 And that,

01:48:17.120 and that she's always loved me.

01:48:18.400 And so whatever pain or whatever I have from previous,

01:48:21.620 there's nothing I can.

01:48:23.220 So all I can do now is just be patient and just,

01:48:27.400 just,

01:48:29.300 you know,

01:48:30.300 just let her know that I care no matter what.

01:48:33.920 And try not to,

01:48:35.000 and don't start a new grudge.

01:48:37.520 And that's better than I used to be.

01:48:39.460 You know,

01:48:42.160 it's,

01:48:42.800 it's wild,

01:48:43.460 man,

01:48:43.620 because you do get better.

01:48:45.600 And you know,

01:48:46.140 one thing that does help me,

01:48:47.380 and this is something that I do every day is make a gratitude list.

01:48:50.940 When I wake up in the morning,

01:48:52.300 I make a gratitude list.

01:48:53.980 And I list 10 things that I'm grateful for.

01:48:57.840 And then I list a reason why with each one.

01:49:00.200 You know,

01:49:00.520 I'm grateful for my hair.

01:49:02.080 Why?

01:49:02.440 Because it keeps my head warm and my neck warm now at this point.

01:49:07.600 Or I'm grateful for my sister because she never gives up.

01:49:13.220 And she tries so hard.

01:49:16.160 And,

01:49:16.300 you know,

01:49:19.040 or I'm grateful for,

01:49:20.780 I'm grateful for my mother,

01:49:28.020 my mother,

01:49:28.540 because she's still alive.

01:49:30.480 You know,

01:49:31.100 I'm grateful for my friend,

01:49:34.220 Bo,

01:49:35.040 because I went home this weekend and he let me borrow his truck so that I,

01:49:40.000 because I didn't have my driver's license.

01:49:41.140 I couldn't get a rental car.

01:49:42.300 And he made my weekend so much easier where he gave me the opportunity.

01:49:45.200 I could go see my nieces and,

01:49:46.780 and,

01:49:47.340 and it was a gift.

01:49:49.840 You know,

01:49:50.320 I'm grateful.

01:49:50.780 There's just,

01:49:51.280 and you know what it does though?

01:49:52.280 It takes it.

01:49:52.820 So now I'm not thinking about me and I'm not thinking about what could be

01:49:56.460 better.

01:49:56.660 I'm thinking about what is good.

01:49:58.800 And so for me,

01:49:59.560 that works,

01:50:00.060 man.

01:50:00.400 I'm not trying to be a know-it-all or anything.

01:50:01.940 I'm just telling you that works.

01:50:03.040 I still have a ton of moments where I think things could be better.

01:50:06.700 But also some of that came from when I was young.

01:50:08.880 You know,

01:50:09.400 some,

01:50:09.760 something was somebody around me.

01:50:12.580 Nothing was ever good enough for them.

01:50:15.200 And so then that builds in me that,

01:50:17.060 Oh,

01:50:17.080 things always have to be better.

01:50:18.260 But man,

01:50:20.200 I bet you're doing okay.

01:50:23.320 You know,

01:50:23.780 if you try and look at the facts,

01:50:25.600 you know,

01:50:27.900 try and look at the facts.

01:50:28.640 Are you doing okay?

01:50:29.500 Because it may be that thing to be better,

01:50:32.900 but that could just be a feeling.

01:50:35.500 You know,

01:50:35.940 feelings aren't facts.

01:50:37.280 I think feelings are way important.

01:50:39.460 You know,

01:50:39.640 I'd rather know how I feel sometimes than what I think.

01:50:42.800 But feelings aren't facts,

01:50:44.240 man.

01:50:44.500 And if that,

01:50:44.880 if you get always getting that feeling,

01:50:46.500 then you could,

01:50:47.200 you know,

01:50:47.640 maybe find some ways.

01:50:48.700 And for me,

01:50:49.300 a gratitude list helps.

01:50:50.280 Cause then I quit thinking about,

01:50:51.800 you know,

01:50:52.980 what I don't have and what could be better.

01:50:55.300 And I think about what I do have.

01:50:56.960 And that puts me in a place of gratitude for me.

01:50:59.780 And also might not know what the fuck I'm talking about.

01:51:02.220 Let's take one last call here.

01:51:03.520 And then we're going to shut it down for today,

01:51:04.980 man.

01:51:05.140 I appreciate all you guys calling.

01:51:06.460 Appreciate everything.

01:51:07.360 Nine,

01:51:07.540 eight,

01:51:07.680 five,

01:51:07.980 six,

01:51:08.240 six,

01:51:08.380 four,

01:51:08.620 nine,

01:51:08.820 five,

01:51:09.100 zero,

01:51:09.360 three is the hotline.

01:51:11.500 Theo Vaughn.com slash store.

01:51:13.940 We got a bunch of dope merch in there and cool stuff.

01:51:16.520 If you want to support the podcast or support anything,

01:51:19.420 Theo Vaughn.com slash Patreon.

01:51:22.280 That's where we have funds where we can do outreach and do some other neat stuff.

01:51:26.300 We're going to do some stuff for these single moms.

01:51:28.080 If there's a date we have coming up on the calendar,

01:51:30.740 where we're going to be in your area.

01:51:33.120 And there's a cool single mother that,

01:51:35.000 you know,

01:51:35.500 that you think could use a night out.

01:51:38.080 And I don't want somebody,

01:51:39.180 you know,

01:51:39.420 if she got 40 year old children or 35,

01:51:41.800 I want a mom.

01:51:42.520 I want somebody that's,

01:51:43.380 you know,

01:51:43.620 still in the trenches.

01:51:45.120 That's got them,

01:51:45.880 you know,

01:51:46.220 chirping mouths,

01:51:47.140 you know,

01:51:47.900 that's got a 12 year old and eight year old,

01:51:49.680 you know,

01:51:49.920 or,

01:51:50.200 you know,

01:51:50.400 and I'm not trying to ice anybody out of the opportunity,

01:51:54.000 but you know,

01:51:55.960 I ain't trying to take,

01:51:56.960 you know,

01:51:57.160 grandma girdle and her two shorties out to the,

01:51:59.380 to the ice,

01:52:00.080 to the,

01:52:00.300 to the comedy show.

01:52:01.780 You know,

01:52:02.220 when she got a 50 year old son and he ain't getting his shit together,

01:52:04.880 that's,

01:52:05.320 that's on him.

01:52:07.220 You know,

01:52:07.640 we're just trying to get a little bit of relief,

01:52:09.040 a nice evening for,

01:52:09.960 for a lady or two,

01:52:11.680 but you can submit them through the website.

01:52:15.460 Theo Vaughn.com slash podcast or podcasts.

01:52:18.720 It's all on the website.

01:52:21.060 Let's take this call.

01:52:22.320 Here we go.

01:52:23.340 Thank you for calling.

01:52:25.780 Hey,

01:52:26.160 what's up,

01:52:26.640 Theo?

01:52:27.540 Andy in Portland,

01:52:28.980 Oregon.

01:52:30.100 Hey,

01:52:30.500 Andy in Portland.

01:52:31.820 And you know,

01:52:32.320 you know,

01:52:32.840 I met a hamster rancher up there and we went and visited him.

01:52:35.380 And man,

01:52:37.580 that was awesome.

01:52:38.740 Man,

01:52:38.940 I went and saw this man had about five,

01:52:40.440 six thousand hams and we had them beautiful critters and everybody was just,

01:52:45.120 man,

01:52:46.520 beautiful to see all those magical little,

01:52:48.340 just nugget to the Lord.

01:52:50.920 Just those furry living electrons,

01:52:53.380 just some of them fucking and people,

01:52:55.440 so a lot of them just sleeping and resting and everything to watch them.

01:52:58.820 Just set it off.

01:53:00.820 Let's hear more.

01:53:01.640 I just wanted to say what's up.

01:53:05.580 I know things are going to be blowing up for you soon.

01:53:08.960 I just wanted to send you a friendly reminder as you're on the precipice of success.

01:53:16.780 Just remember who you are,

01:53:19.100 brother.

01:53:20.100 That's why people love you.

01:53:22.040 Don't get tempted by the dark arts.

01:53:24.300 Don't fall into traps.

01:53:26.320 Just keep being you.

01:53:28.180 Don't sell out,

01:53:29.140 my man.

01:53:30.100 Much love.

01:53:30.860 I love you.

01:53:31.820 And not in a homosexual way.

01:53:33.980 I just love what you're doing with your life.

01:53:36.800 No,

01:53:37.260 I understand that part.

01:53:38.440 Onward.

01:53:38.920 Your life and the way you're staying true and the podcast and your comedy,

01:53:43.480 man.

01:53:43.960 All right.

01:53:44.420 Later.

01:53:46.040 Thanks,

01:53:46.520 Andy,

01:53:46.740 for the message,

01:53:47.480 man.

01:53:47.660 I appreciate it.

01:53:48.500 I really do.

01:53:49.200 And,

01:53:49.300 you know,

01:53:49.760 I,

01:53:50.100 you know,

01:53:51.480 I thought about that actually a lot in the past two weeks.

01:53:53.980 Like,

01:53:55.220 you know,

01:53:55.540 there has been a lot,

01:53:56.840 there has been an uptick in like support,

01:53:59.000 people reaching out.

01:54:00.860 You know,

01:54:01.160 I noticed it at the shows,

01:54:02.460 you know,

01:54:02.700 at the,

01:54:02.900 even at the comedy store,

01:54:03.680 like people wanting to hang out at,

01:54:05.160 you know,

01:54:05.400 take pictures and things like that.

01:54:07.100 And,

01:54:07.820 you know,

01:54:07.980 I worry a lot about ego.

01:54:10.360 You know,

01:54:10.820 I worry about it.

01:54:13.320 Cause it's dangerous.

01:54:15.980 Ego is so dangerous.

01:54:18.760 Isn't it?

01:54:19.260 It's almost remarkable.

01:54:20.280 There's something inside of us.

01:54:23.520 That is just so,

01:54:24.900 that can be,

01:54:26.160 that,

01:54:26.800 that,

01:54:27.400 that,

01:54:27.600 that's the dark arts.

01:54:29.560 It's so upset.

01:54:30.580 It's so,

01:54:31.080 I mean,

01:54:32.080 it's so mystical.

01:54:35.520 That's a shape shifter.

01:54:37.940 That thing is just wiggling and in and out of your,

01:54:39.980 in and out of your brainstem.

01:54:41.620 Just,

01:54:42.540 you know,

01:54:43.900 just circling your,

01:54:45.180 your Sarah,

01:54:46.200 your,

01:54:46.860 uh,

01:54:47.220 just circling your brainstem,

01:54:48.900 just waiting,

01:54:49.980 just waiting to speak up.

01:54:53.360 And it's scary,

01:54:55.780 man.

01:54:55.920 I think about it sometimes.

01:54:56.860 I appreciate you saying that.

01:54:58.500 Yeah.

01:54:58.880 I mean,

01:54:59.060 I do want to,

01:55:00.420 you know,

01:55:01.380 I do want to achieve my goals.

01:55:03.920 Um,

01:55:04.360 but at the same time,

01:55:05.160 I do feel like I want to,

01:55:08.120 you know,

01:55:08.780 I want to,

01:55:10.080 you know,

01:55:11.880 I don't want to be self-centered.

01:55:15.520 You know,

01:55:15.960 I've spent so,

01:55:16.740 you know,

01:55:16.920 cause the worst part about,

01:55:18.040 I've spent a lot of my life being self-centered.

01:55:20.860 Um,

01:55:21.260 even though some people might not say that to me,

01:55:23.140 it felt that way because I just had to care about myself.

01:55:27.520 You know,

01:55:28.000 when you're growing up and you feel like you don't have anybody,

01:55:31.540 then you become self-centered almost as a mechanism to take care of

01:55:36.140 yourself.

01:55:38.400 You know,

01:55:38.940 you have to be so aware of everything.

01:55:40.700 You have to be on guard all the time.

01:55:43.100 You have to be thinking,

01:55:44.480 how do I get what I need?

01:55:47.180 Because it just started at such an age where you,

01:55:49.480 that's all,

01:55:50.180 it just,

01:55:50.780 it's,

01:55:51.320 you had to use it to survive.

01:55:53.360 It was like learning to drink water.

01:55:55.940 You had to have that skill.

01:55:59.160 You had to have that,

01:56:01.380 you know,

01:56:01.840 that me,

01:56:02.440 me,

01:56:02.720 me,

01:56:03.020 me.

01:56:03.660 Cause if nobody else cared about you or that's how you saw it,

01:56:06.980 then you had to care about yourself.

01:56:09.020 Cause if you didn't care about you,

01:56:10.640 then there would be no one who did.

01:56:13.900 And so,

01:56:14.680 you know,

01:56:14.940 but I know as I've gotten older that I can shed that skin and that,

01:56:18.340 that doesn't serve me the same anymore,

01:56:20.020 but I,

01:56:21.140 but it's remarkable.

01:56:22.540 The ego is so powerful,

01:56:23.720 you know,

01:56:24.660 and it's tricky and it's cunning and it's baffling and it's powerful.

01:56:28.780 And that's copywritten.

01:56:29.960 I know,

01:56:30.300 but you know,

01:56:31.060 it is.

01:56:32.640 And I don't want to,

01:56:33.580 you know,

01:56:33.740 I don't want to,

01:56:35.120 but I appreciate that reminder.

01:56:37.200 And if I seem out of line,

01:56:38.460 may check me.

01:56:40.440 Cause I'm happy to be checked.

01:56:43.120 You know,

01:56:43.520 I don't want to,

01:56:44.540 I want to do,

01:56:45.740 uh,

01:56:46.860 you know,

01:56:47.240 I want to do good things.

01:56:48.420 I want to,

01:56:48.900 I want to,

01:56:49.560 I want to achieve my goals,

01:56:50.580 but I want to do good things too.

01:56:52.300 You know,

01:56:52.580 I don't want to leave the earth when I get out of here and just,

01:56:57.440 you know,

01:56:59.160 not have like a lot of love in my life,

01:57:01.700 you know,

01:57:02.960 and just a lot of joy.

01:57:05.800 Um,

01:57:06.820 because in the end,

01:57:08.080 especially as I get older,

01:57:08.960 being selfish,

01:57:09.780 just,

01:57:10.040 it starts to hurt a lot.

01:57:14.060 It,

01:57:14.500 it hurts.

01:57:15.060 I think it hurts because all you have at some points when you're so selfish,

01:57:20.040 all you really have and the,

01:57:22.560 you know,

01:57:23.140 it is you.

01:57:27.560 And that's just lonely.

01:57:31.140 It's just lonely,

01:57:32.220 but I appreciate you checking me,

01:57:34.520 man.

01:57:35.020 And you can do it again.

01:57:36.100 If you feel that way,

01:57:37.260 Andy,

01:57:38.040 uh,

01:57:39.300 you'll be the,

01:57:40.000 uh,

01:57:40.320 ego lifeguard if that's okay with you.

01:57:43.560 But,

01:57:44.280 you know,

01:57:45.340 and I know I'm not the only one out there that thinks this way about our egos

01:57:47.980 and how dangerous it can be.

01:57:49.280 I worry about it.

01:57:50.840 I worry about it,

01:57:51.800 but I appreciate you,

01:57:52.820 uh,

01:57:53.180 you know,

01:57:53.660 let me know I'm not alone in thinking about it.

01:57:55.480 And thanks for the kind words,

01:57:56.660 man.

01:57:57.140 You know,

01:57:57.440 I don't know what the,

01:57:58.220 you know,

01:57:58.440 what the future has in store for me career wise,

01:58:00.420 but man,

01:58:02.360 this,

01:58:02.560 this year has been great.

01:58:03.540 And we're,

01:58:04.180 and being a part of this podcast has been great.

01:58:06.260 I mean,

01:58:06.420 dude,

01:58:06.540 I never thought this podcast would be up like this.

01:58:09.960 Dude,

01:58:10.400 this thing,

01:58:11.560 look at the front.

01:58:12.200 I mean,

01:58:12.340 we were balancing,

01:58:13.500 I was balancing that camera on fucking shoe boxes.

01:58:16.260 Yeah.

01:58:18.160 I mean,

01:58:18.480 it was,

01:58:19.160 so it's just been a joy and we're going to do some cool stuff.

01:58:22.300 We're going to do it together.

01:58:23.260 And I appreciate you guys being here with me.

01:58:25.280 All right.

01:58:25.720 I'm going to take us out here,

01:58:26.760 uh,

01:58:27.220 on this Memorial day.

01:58:28.660 Happy Memorial day to everyone.

01:58:30.120 Thank you for everybody that hit the hotline.

01:58:31.460 Thank you for everybody that's being supportive.

01:58:33.060 Um,

01:58:34.140 if you have any suggestions,

01:58:35.460 constructive criticisms,

01:58:36.280 you can always hit us up anywhere.

01:58:38.600 You know,

01:58:39.040 this is a team effort.

01:58:39.940 We do this.

01:58:41.280 And,

01:58:41.760 uh,

01:58:42.380 some weeks these episodes will be what you want.

01:58:44.240 And some weeks these episodes will be not what you want,

01:58:46.900 but that's life.

01:58:49.060 So stick around and,

01:58:51.640 uh,

01:58:51.780 let's make this thing.

01:58:53.220 Let's,

01:58:53.640 let's keep this thing alive together.

01:58:55.620 Happy Memorial day.

01:58:56.980 Yeah.

01:58:57.040 Yeah.

01:58:57.480 Yeah.

01:58:58.040 Yeah.

01:58:59.040 Yeah.

01:58:59.540 Yeah.

01:59:03.060 Yeah.

01:59:33.060 Yeah.

01:59:57.640 Yeah.

02:00:00.480 Yeah.

02:00:01.020 Yeah.

02:00:01.260 Yeah.

02:00:01.360 Yeah.

02:00:02.840 Yeah.

02:00:03.060 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club,

02:00:19.660 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

02:00:23.720 stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

02:00:27.440 The answer may shock you.

02:00:29.160 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

02:00:31.300 Sometimes I won't.

02:00:32.080 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

02:00:35.840 You have three new voice messages.

02:00:38.820 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

02:00:41.760 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.

02:00:46.040 So great.

02:00:47.400 Hi, sweetheart.

02:00:49.100 Here's a deal.

02:00:50.420 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.

02:00:54.340 Jermaine.

02:00:55.620 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

02:00:59.240 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

02:01:01.100 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

02:01:06.060 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

02:01:10.380 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

02:01:14.600 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

02:01:19.960 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 28, 2018

Just a Suggestion ｜ This Past Weekend #99

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript