This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Keep Moving Forward

00:00:00.000 In support of small businesses, today's episode is brought to you by Charlotte Counseling and

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00:00:59.140 You think that's scary? Is that scary music? Let's see if we have something scary.

00:01:29.140 That sound like some ghosts or, uh, you know, that sound like maybe a couple of ghosts or,

00:01:52.680 um, like their parents are out of town and they're throwing a party, you know?

00:02:05.500 That's what that sounds like. Let's hear another scary, scary sound.

00:02:10.500 And, uh, uh, uh, uh-oh, what's gonna happen?

00:02:23.000 That sounds a little bit like maybe like two swans were like, you know, having had a couple of children and one of the, maybe like, you know, they can't find one of the babies or something kind of.

00:02:53.000 Yeah, that's too, that sounds like a couple, yeah, like maybe some very rich swans like are at a lake and one of them dropped their like cell phone in the water, you know, that's what that sounds like.

00:03:23.000 Oh, Roger, how will I ever find all my friends on InstaGoose?

00:03:31.260 What's up, guys? Welcome to this past weekend. Thank you guys for being here.

00:03:38.260 I'm just thinking about how spooky it's getting in the world because it's Halloween time.

00:03:46.040 You know, it's Halloween, man. Halloween.

00:03:53.300 Man, I used to love, do you remember Halloween?

00:03:56.440 Halloween. Remember, remember how much fun, dude, remember, remember how much fun you had?

00:04:05.000 Remember how much fun you had?

00:04:08.920 Halloween. What are you going to be? What are you going to be?

00:04:11.220 For like a couple of weeks when you were in like elementary school, middle school, what are you going to be?

00:04:14.960 What are you going to be?

00:04:16.400 I'm going to be a princess.

00:04:19.080 I'm going to be a coal miner.

00:04:22.300 I'm going to be a firefighter.

00:04:24.300 That was always a big one.

00:04:25.300 I'm going to be a firefighter.

00:04:28.020 You know, and it was just like, and the costumes used to be way more normal.

00:04:33.440 Way like, oh, Daniel is a bat.

00:04:35.880 Oh, that's good job, Daniel.

00:04:38.940 You know, Lawrence is, he's a coal miner in a wheelchair.

00:04:44.180 Oh, good job, Lawrence.

00:04:47.600 Selena is pregnant.

00:04:49.980 Oh, that's interesting, but way to go, Selena.

00:04:55.180 You know, you just, you see that little girl, she come to the door.

00:04:57.640 She, you know, she just, that's her idea of what, of creativity.

00:05:01.700 She's seven years old.

00:05:02.780 She got a pillow in her, you know, and lipstick on.

00:05:06.040 You're like, okay, she's, you know, maybe seeing a little too much at the house, you know.

00:05:10.960 But that was, that was, that was then, that was, that was Halloween.

00:05:17.900 Dude, and then I remember you would get the candy, and I always liked them Snickers, them baby Snickers.

00:05:25.700 You know, out here in, and, and, and Los Angeles, they give all, you know, the costumes are, you know, out here, it's not even a, it's not even, you know, it's like, Jackson is a hashtag.

00:05:42.560 Lorenzo, well, he refuses to dress up this year because he believes that Halloween is, you know, it's, it's not fair to ghosts.

00:05:51.340 Ghosts, like actual ghosts, aren't getting the credit they deserve.

00:05:55.800 Yeah, well, fuck that, bruh.

00:05:58.780 Halloween is a great opportunity to get an empty bag or anything empty.

00:06:02.920 Dude, I remember one time running around our neighborhood with a plant pot.

00:06:07.640 Because it just seemed like the biggest thing around.

00:06:11.460 Fill it up.

00:06:13.320 I didn't care what you put in it.

00:06:15.780 Dude, I remember one guy just poured half of a beer out into mine.

00:06:18.920 And I'm like, yeah.

00:06:22.620 Dude, I loved getting them little Snickers.

00:06:26.800 And I love putting on my costume.

00:06:28.700 Dude, look, I found these sounds.

00:06:30.000 Remember, listen to these Halloween mask sounds, okay?

00:06:33.340 These were sounds that your mask made maybe when you put the mask on.

00:06:36.940 All right, here we go.

00:06:47.220 Remember that?

00:06:47.840 Okay, now, what about this one?

00:06:49.080 Listen to this one.

00:06:54.720 Now, if you had some money, that second one, you had a little bit of money because they

00:06:58.440 had that hard, that plastic, it was like getting back into your mother's womb.

00:07:05.420 I'm just, once you go, whatever that, and that thing was always like a wolf or like a, you

00:07:11.860 know, a donkey head.

00:07:14.340 Or a, you know, it could be anything.

00:07:16.620 It would be, but it was something like severe, like a big lizard head.

00:07:19.520 If you got into that thing, you weren't.

00:07:23.700 That was it for the night.

00:07:25.760 I didn't like those things because I always felt trapped.

00:07:28.620 You know, I remember one time being in a costume and I couldn't get that thing off, man.

00:07:34.320 And I could see out of the eyes and I could see the world like so clearly, but no one could

00:07:41.280 hear me because the plastic was too thick.

00:07:44.280 So I quit talking to people and it was sweaty and it was scary because I couldn't like, my

00:07:51.680 peripheral vision was gone.

00:07:53.020 So I couldn't see around me that good and I could just see.

00:07:57.380 And it was just like, I was watching the world happen a little bit more.

00:08:01.320 And I thought for a second, man, I honestly, I thought that I was like, I wonder if this is what

00:08:04.360 it feels like to have like autism or down syndrome.

00:08:09.380 You know, like you're in there and you can see, like it all seems really, really clear.

00:08:14.940 But you're like sweating and, and, uh, and you, and you can't, and people can't hear

00:08:23.780 you or you can't like communicate as well because, you know, you got on these, you know,

00:08:29.100 you got so much extra on you, you know, remember that getting into that one.

00:08:35.900 This is another one.

00:08:36.700 This is one more sound.

00:08:37.420 Here we go.

00:08:40.040 That's kind of similar, similar one, but yeah, Halloween.

00:08:44.280 Halloween, man, Halloween.

00:08:48.720 And you would run by, you'd have that candy.

00:08:53.840 Dude, I remember this, I wanted candy so bad.

00:08:57.060 I remember grabbing like my wiener and just squeezing it.

00:09:02.720 That's how bad I wanted candy.

00:09:05.060 And I wanted that snicker, man.

00:09:09.040 Every time I wanted that snicker, that's exactly, give me that, or did they have the snicker?

00:09:13.640 No.

00:09:14.820 Somebody had a sucker.

00:09:16.540 What is that?

00:09:18.520 Bitch, I'll get that at the bank.

00:09:21.160 I'll get that at a dang, at a bank.

00:09:26.360 I'll get that at a Whitney bank.

00:09:28.020 That's what they used to have in Louisiana, that Whitney bank.

00:09:31.980 It's crazy, man.

00:09:33.560 It was so much fun.

00:09:35.720 Dude, and I remember my mom had that station wagon.

00:09:38.900 And the station wagon, dude, you could hide in the old school.

00:09:41.840 Now they got these little Subaru legacy.

00:09:45.980 You know, we had the station wagon.

00:09:49.060 This thing was that World War II hitter.

00:09:52.100 You know what I'm saying?

00:09:52.380 If you got far enough into the back, you could hear soldiers fighting.

00:09:56.040 That shit, the fifth row, you know, they had the back seat.

00:09:59.040 Then they had this big extra long area.

00:10:01.920 That was straight up Dunkirk back there.

00:10:04.320 People were losing their lives back there.

00:10:06.820 And my mom, they had the station wagon, it had a thing.

00:10:14.400 It dropped down, you know, because this is when I was probably, let me think, five, okay, or six.

00:10:22.880 And the station wagon had a back thing.

00:10:26.540 It was like a tailgate.

00:10:28.940 It was a tailgate, and it would just drop down.

00:10:31.020 It was heavy, bro.

00:10:32.020 But if it came down, you didn't put it back up until maybe springtime or until a different time of year.

00:10:39.140 You know, that thing was heavy.

00:10:41.820 And we would all get on there and hang up.

00:10:43.840 We would all get up.

00:10:44.540 We'd stand on there and be all dressed up in our costumes.

00:10:47.260 You know, everybody would be keyed up.

00:10:49.920 And just, you know, somebody would be, somebody would just be like, I'm like a bloody ghost.

00:10:59.340 And they would just, you know, have blood all over them and maybe have a bedsheet kind of tied around them.

00:11:04.780 They actually just looked like a Greek person that had been, you know, in a domestic dispute.

00:11:09.580 You know, you'd have some horrible fucking costumes.

00:11:12.740 You know, now it's a little bit more like the parents dress the kids, I feel like.

00:11:17.120 When I was young, you dressed, dude, you just, you know, I remember you put a little bit of dirt on you.

00:11:25.700 Yeah, like I'm a piece of sod.

00:11:29.980 You know, you put a little bit of, you know, maybe some grass in your hair.

00:11:34.820 But it was fun, man.

00:11:36.060 And we'd all get on the back of that.

00:11:37.760 We'd get on the back of mom's station wagon and she'd let us stand on the tailgate.

00:11:43.220 She'd let us stand on the tailgate because I lived in America in the 90s.

00:11:47.360 And you could stand on the tailgate and you could hold on to the top of the station wagon.

00:11:51.960 And mom would drive around the rich people's neighborhood.

00:11:55.500 And I'd be on the back of that, man, just waiting.

00:12:00.040 And you'd see a house where it looked like they had somebody sitting out front, like a senior citizen or something.

00:12:04.840 In a rocking chair.

00:12:07.160 And they were all dressed up.

00:12:08.760 And they, you know, they had like maybe some decorations.

00:12:12.200 And be like, oh, these motherfuckers got that snicker.

00:12:15.740 These, the people that got the snicker.

00:12:19.580 Because when I was young, that's all you wanted, man.

00:12:22.600 Some people during Halloween, they were giving out the little, they used to have these black, these candies.

00:12:27.280 They were like, it was just a, it was kind of like somebody, they were orange and black.

00:12:34.060 It was just wrapped up and it was barely wrapped up.

00:12:36.780 Some of the candy was kind of leaking out the back end, you know.

00:12:40.080 Some of the candy had a little bit of side boob, kind of, you know, a little brown kind of side boob popping out of the,

00:12:45.740 the wrapping, you know, these little candies.

00:12:49.400 They came in little wrappers, little, you know, little blankets, little duffel bags for candies.

00:12:54.420 You know, wrappers, wrappers.

00:12:56.960 And, and they would give you these and it was chewy.

00:12:59.840 It was chunk.

00:13:00.560 You didn't even, it was, it was un, it was the unknown candy.

00:13:05.180 It was like the tomb of the unknown diabetes.

00:13:08.440 It was just a chunk of, you were like, oh, is this chocolate?

00:13:12.840 Is it caramel?

00:13:14.100 Is it, is it apple?

00:13:17.560 And you would just eat it.

00:13:18.840 And by the time you even kind of maybe had an idea what it was, it was gone.

00:13:22.900 And you had no idea what it was.

00:13:25.160 And it was actually absolutely just nothing, just garbage straight up.

00:13:30.640 Just that, I mean, it was, I mean, it could have been a polio vaccine.

00:13:34.660 I have no clue what it was.

00:13:36.900 I mean, it could have been, I just remember it got your sugar up and got you amped up to go another couple blocks.

00:13:43.580 You know, and I remember a couple of them.

00:13:45.160 If you had two or three of the orange ones in a row, you couldn't turn your neck for a little bit.

00:13:48.780 But that shit would get my neck all tight, make my veins really start, you know, make my veins kind of dance together and kind of get to know each other a little bit.

00:13:57.200 Maybe even doing, you know, make it, make it feel like your neck didn't want, your neck would get tight.

00:14:04.240 If I had too many of them little, because they were just unknown candies.

00:14:07.480 They didn't have a name to them.

00:14:09.380 They were cheap and they just, it was just enough to get you to that next house and see if they had a little thing of smarties, bruh.

00:14:16.260 Rich people always had smarties or, you know it, little snickers.

00:14:21.900 Dog, you, on Halloween, bruh, dude, I would train all month in October at the house stretching, you know, fighting my, getting beat up by my brother.

00:14:33.120 You know, pissing my mom off, let her hit me with that leather because I was going to be ready for October 31st.

00:14:39.080 When daddy, little daddy hit the nighttime, for those about to rock, we salute you, hit the nighttime, going looking for that snicker.

00:14:52.320 And they call me and they see me.

00:14:54.660 They see me and they know I'm hunting that snicker.

00:14:57.780 And I'd be out there and we'd be on the back of moms.

00:15:01.160 And I've told this story, I probably told it last Halloween, I'd be on the back, we'd all be lined up on the back of us, one of us.

00:15:07.800 You know, somebody's just easy, easy, easy costumes.

00:15:11.300 Somebody's a turtle, you know.

00:15:13.260 Little Ronald's a turtle, you know.

00:15:15.820 Little Thaniel, he's a, he's a goat.

00:15:19.400 And he got real goat hair.

00:15:20.720 Or his dad put real honey and goat hair on his back to make him look authentic.

00:15:26.080 And he's a real little goat boy.

00:15:28.420 And they put little fake horns on his head, you know.

00:15:31.700 And they squeezed him maybe into a, they might have squeezed him into a mask.

00:15:36.620 I don't even know.

00:15:37.240 They might have squeezed him in one of those tight hitters.

00:15:40.900 Ooh.

00:15:41.920 And little Thaniel's all keyed up.

00:15:43.840 And maybe they even, maybe his daddy had a little bit extra time off of work in October and he put real wood on the bottom of his shoes.

00:15:52.380 And he, and he, and he, and he nailed it into the bottom of his shoes or, or, or, or super glued it onto the bottom and painted it black.

00:15:59.220 So now little Thaniel got real hoofs.

00:16:02.300 And he, you know, maybe he's out there and he have on, you know, children's underwears or, you know, or even sometimes on Halloween you put on a baby diaper.

00:16:10.780 You put a diaper on your body, you know, in case you wanted to piss or something because you wouldn't, you know, we went hard at Halloween.

00:16:18.880 There wasn't, and we was in, we were on enemy territory.

00:16:22.360 We're out there trick-or-treating by the rich.

00:16:25.700 Do you trick-or-treating my neighborhood, dude?

00:16:27.780 You get probably, you get a rash for sure.

00:16:32.620 Bed bugs.

00:16:34.060 You get probably, I mean, they had registered, a lot of registered sex offenders by us.

00:16:38.720 So, you know, none of these freelance boys, I'm talking people in the union, you know, them real hitters.

00:16:45.460 So you wouldn't really, you know, a lot of people by us, then you have calendars.

00:16:50.040 You stop by dressed up, you know, they might think you a real animal.

00:16:54.440 If you come by a little Thaniel rolls up as a goat, bro, they might fucking grill that boy up.

00:16:59.320 You know, we having a little bit of, we having some rack of Thaniel back here next weekend.

00:17:04.620 We having a barbecue.

00:17:05.400 But yeah, man, we would go, and Thaniel would have, he'd have maybe real goat hair on him.

00:17:11.600 You know, his dad would put honey on the back of his legs and honey on his back, and then they had real goats.

00:17:15.940 So they'd get real hair off these goats.

00:17:17.980 Because that's free.

00:17:18.800 If you have goats, that hair is yours if they're cool with it.

00:17:22.740 And you put it on, and then you're like, damn, that boy looks fucking, he's a real swaggy piece out here.

00:17:29.020 And we'd all be on the back of the, and we'd have those diapers on because we weren't going back home.

00:17:35.880 You know what I'm saying?

00:17:36.620 If you, if the diaper was because if you wanted to urinate or, you know, or make duty, and you could do it right there and still trick or treat.

00:17:46.100 Because this was our, this was our Vietnam, bro.

00:17:51.540 October 31st, it was us against the world.

00:17:57.420 It was us against these candy makers and these people that had front doors and these people that had jack-o'-lanterns.

00:18:05.240 And it was us, and we was going to get ours.

00:18:08.120 We was going to get them baby Snicker.

00:18:10.440 And man, it was epic.

00:18:13.660 And we'd all be on the back of that fucking, on the back of mom's car with that, with that, uh, with the tailgate down.

00:18:21.420 And she's rolling, bro.

00:18:23.040 She's cruising because she's pissed.

00:18:25.020 Because my mother was always pissed.

00:18:27.980 Think about a time when my mother has been alive.

00:18:31.860 She was pissed then.

00:18:33.040 I promise you.

00:18:34.220 And we're on the back, and mom would roll up by the yard, and we would run and jump off that tailgate into the yard.

00:18:39.500 And as that car was going, just, like right out the back of a C-130, man.

00:18:45.360 Shout out to all of our servicemen and women.

00:18:47.200 Just, just right out in the yard and tumble roll into the yard.

00:18:51.920 Lose half your fucking candy in the roll.

00:18:54.000 What, whatever.

00:18:56.560 Onward.

00:18:58.000 Onward.

00:19:00.220 Hold the line.

00:19:01.960 Forward.

00:19:03.800 And we'd roll out onto the ground.

00:19:05.780 You know, your brother, and then your sister would come off at the last minute.

00:19:08.900 She's only two years old.

00:19:11.300 And the fucking, and that mom car still rolling, just coming to a stop.

00:19:16.700 And my sister just fall off that bitch.

00:19:19.020 She couldn't even jump.

00:19:20.420 Her legs didn't have that jump ability in them yet.

00:19:22.840 They was just, you know, just them fucking little pushers.

00:19:27.540 She would just kind of push herself and then just fall.

00:19:30.420 And she'd fall right off the tailgate into whoever's yard it was.

00:19:33.400 Some rich person's yard.

00:19:34.660 And then it was just every step you could get through the dark grass to get up to that front door.

00:19:40.900 And you would just ring that damn bell.

00:19:45.460 You would knock.

00:19:47.000 Dude, I would ring and then knock.

00:19:49.400 And if they weren't there within half of a second, I would ring again.

00:19:55.120 Trick or treat.

00:19:55.900 And you would fight over who got to say trick or treat.

00:20:01.200 Remember that?

00:20:02.580 Rolling up close to the door, you'd have a six-minute fist fight over who gets to say trick or treat.

00:20:09.800 And then you get there and you, and then they open it up.

00:20:13.380 And sometimes inside you see people having fun, families, you know.

00:20:20.180 Maybe they're watching TV or tickling each other.

00:20:23.400 Maybe the dad, if he's rich, he might be throwing a piece of popcorn up in the air, catching it in his mouth, you know.

00:20:29.760 Maybe the kid, you see, he got a nice pair of, you know, extra shoes or cleats by the door, whatever.

00:20:35.260 They got calendars, you know, legitimate calendars from this, this, from the actual year it was on the wall.

00:20:41.220 And then, and the mom is right there and she got the big bowl and she's dressed up like a little cat or like a, you know, a female lemur or something kind of sexy, you know, like a little deer.

00:20:56.920 And then she got that bowl.

00:20:59.020 And man, you hope that snicker was in there.

00:21:01.860 God, I loved Halloween.

00:21:04.500 And then it was on to the next one.

00:21:06.200 And you make the street and then there weren't as many, you know, you didn't see as many porch lights on.

00:21:11.280 She'd be like, all right, let's get back on the car.

00:21:13.300 Let's get back on mom's tailgate.

00:21:15.140 Go, mom.

00:21:16.680 And mom's complaining, is everybody, who gives a go?

00:21:20.400 Go.

00:21:23.560 You're back there yelling, bro, half your candy.

00:21:25.940 You don't even know you point, you're getting your brother to look at something, stealing half of his shit.

00:21:30.260 You got all the candy bags tied around your sister's neck.

00:21:33.060 She, at this point, she's just a sugar mule.

00:21:35.900 She's just muleing sweets around, just, you know, she's two years old building up thighs.

00:21:41.180 You know, by the end of Halloween night, by November 1st, she got thighs look like a damn quarter horse.

00:21:47.940 Looked like a pony that was raised in quicksand and is still alive.

00:21:52.440 She got them big, strong thighs.

00:21:56.540 And she just got nine bags of candy tied around her.

00:21:59.840 And she just mule and sugar, and you guys back on the tailgate again.

00:22:04.160 And you're going, and you see another person's yard, and we'd run, and we'd jump off.

00:22:09.100 And I'll never forget what happened, man.

00:22:11.100 Little Daniel jumped off.

00:22:15.680 And some people, every now and then, some real fuckaroo has to have a hydrant in the front of their yard.

00:22:26.980 And you know what's great about them?

00:22:30.060 They don't put lights around the hydrant.

00:22:33.660 They don't put any, it's just a hydrant in the front of their yard.

00:22:38.820 And this person had painted their hydrant brown so it would match their house.

00:22:44.580 What a real Albert fuckstein.

00:22:46.980 What a real Albert fuckstein.

00:22:49.060 So we all running off.

00:22:50.660 We jump into the yard.

00:22:51.780 One, two, three, just parachuting off the back of mom's tailgate.

00:22:55.800 And little Daniel, little Daniel, that little goat boy, you know, he's all shook up.

00:23:01.740 He's hopped up.

00:23:03.140 He's had maybe about fucking 65 rolls of Smarties.

00:23:06.820 And 15 of those, you know, unidentifiable brown and black candies.

00:23:11.480 He's got so much, he, and those things, you couldn't even get them, it would just get stuck in your teeth.

00:23:17.140 Remember that?

00:23:18.360 Remember those, that's all they were.

00:23:20.660 Those things, the orange and black ones, they just get, all it was, was something that kind of tasted like coffee and would get stuck in your teeth.

00:23:28.120 Come on.

00:23:29.780 But little Daniel, bro, he'd run and jumped off.

00:23:32.220 And in the dark, you thought it was yard because we'd all hit yard.

00:23:36.180 And Daniel fucking just, just landed right into that, the fire hydrant.

00:23:44.280 Just, I just imagine flying through the air.

00:23:47.440 Halloween on your brain.

00:23:49.620 65 rolls of Smarties in your system hopped up.

00:23:53.020 Won't be able to close your eyes for a month.

00:23:54.620 You got so much glucose rolling through you.

00:23:58.000 You got real honey-hooked goat hair on your back.

00:24:04.440 Your daddy made you fucking wooden hooves.

00:24:07.160 You got pine hooves nailed into the bottom of your Reeboks.

00:24:12.020 And you got on a diaper full of urine and possibly number two.

00:24:16.380 Depends on how fired up you were.

00:24:19.180 And you got a fucking damn goat mask on your face.

00:24:23.940 And out of nowhere, just bam!

00:24:28.000 Out of the pitch black, a fire hydrant.

00:24:32.160 You jump off of a tailgate into pure darkness.

00:24:36.220 And you hit a fire hydrant.

00:24:39.340 And that boy was never the same.

00:24:45.020 Never the same.

00:24:47.380 So.

00:24:48.260 But that's Halloween, man.

00:24:52.080 God, I love it.

00:24:53.340 And I miss it.

00:24:54.780 And I'm happy to be here, man.

00:24:57.300 Crazy.

00:24:57.740 But different back in the day.

00:24:58.720 People, you could dress up as an apple.

00:25:01.300 You know, an Indian.

00:25:04.500 They had a black kid came to our door as an indentured servant.

00:25:08.800 Like, whatever.

00:25:10.620 People didn't care.

00:25:11.640 People wasn't like, oh, this means this.

00:25:13.280 This means whatever.

00:25:14.980 This is a kid.

00:25:15.700 They want to dress up.

00:25:16.600 Let them dress up.

00:25:17.460 You know, I, you know, I, I, people know I've been Peppermint Pat before.

00:25:22.940 And I'll get a, you know, a cotton, you know, some cotton body cover and stuff.

00:25:27.340 And, you know, shirts and that and pants.

00:25:29.220 And I'll put little peppermints all over them.

00:25:31.820 And people are like, who are you?

00:25:33.280 And I'm like, I'm Peppermint Pat.

00:25:35.320 And they're like, who is that?

00:25:36.900 And I'm like, who?

00:25:38.820 It's no one.

00:25:40.280 It's Peppermint Pat.

00:25:42.240 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:43.880 I'm that breath, you know?

00:25:45.400 I'm that, I'm that, I'm that sugary little freshener.

00:25:49.940 I'm that sugary freshener.

00:25:51.040 I'll put, you know, my finger, I'll put two, you know, I'll brush my hands along your, along

00:25:55.280 your cheeks and make your breath smell nice.

00:25:58.060 Peppermint Pat.

00:25:59.120 Not a real person.

00:26:00.040 But in my mind, it was real.

00:26:03.160 Remember, Halloween was also a chance.

00:26:04.640 I remember it was a chance to go door to door in your neighborhood and see what the

00:26:08.040 fuck was going on.

00:26:09.500 Remember that?

00:26:12.700 You get to some people's house, you're like, damn, they don't have any furniture.

00:26:18.880 I remember we opened one, one person opened their door.

00:26:21.260 It was just a garage.

00:26:22.320 Their whole house was just a garage.

00:26:25.320 Like, what are y'all, y'all sleeping in that Ford Explorer?

00:26:29.900 The hell is going on?

00:26:33.280 But you kind of got to see what was going on in different people's lives, man.

00:26:36.520 It was interesting.

00:26:37.920 It was really, really interesting.

00:26:40.200 But happy early Halloween.

00:26:41.620 I'm excited.

00:26:42.240 You know, I get excited for the holidays and I get excited.

00:26:45.160 You know, I love the holidays.

00:26:47.360 You know, I love things that bring people together.

00:26:49.800 And I think that the holidays is one of those things.

00:26:52.880 And I think we all need it.

00:26:55.960 I think we all need it.

00:26:57.820 I want to make a couple of little announcements.

00:27:00.100 You know, the King and the Sting podcast is coming.

00:27:03.060 If you want to submit some artwork for that, you know, you can email us through the website.

00:27:07.140 Or you can send Brendan Schauber, myself, a DM.

00:27:12.680 And, you know, we're just looking for some cool, we want neat artwork.

00:27:16.200 King and the Sting.

00:27:17.460 K-A-T-S.

00:27:19.720 And that's it.

00:27:20.580 So if you want to submit something, you know, be a part of it.

00:27:23.420 You know, take a shot at it.

00:27:24.820 You know, there's no guarantees or anything.

00:27:26.820 But we are looking for, you know, neat ideas.

00:27:29.440 And this podcast is going to be user-driven.

00:27:31.340 And so you'll be able to submit videos for King and the Sting that will, that will, you can present themes.

00:27:38.840 You can have stuff for us to discuss or to battle against each other.

00:27:43.760 You know, like Domino's versus Pizza Hut.

00:27:45.760 We used that example before.

00:27:47.520 Or, you know, Dolphins versus, you know, Dolphins versus children that are on swim teams.

00:27:57.440 It could be anything.

00:27:58.680 And you'll be able to present those opportunities to us.

00:28:01.080 You know, outer space versus inner space.

00:28:04.360 You know, chakras versus planets.

00:28:06.980 You'll be able to present any of those things and we'll break them down.

00:28:09.600 So it's all going to be user-driven and we're excited about that.

00:28:11.980 And that's going to be King and the Sting podcast.

00:28:14.380 And it's coming up soon.

00:28:15.940 We don't know when, but probably within about the next, I would say within two weeks, we should have the first episode out.

00:28:22.540 What else is going on?

00:28:25.020 I want to just say thank you for the people that are on Reddit and subreddit.

00:28:29.860 Somebody sent me an email the other day and just said that a lot of people have been on there and it's been really exciting and an exciting, you know, people commenting and being a part of that.

00:28:39.380 As well, the Facebook group for this past weekend is, you know, is tremendous.

00:28:47.500 And we have a lot of those people that will come out to shows and support and help sell merch and just be a part of things, man.

00:28:55.980 And I just feel, man, I meet so many nice people.

00:28:59.200 You know, I feel honestly so lucky.

00:29:03.280 I meet so many nice people that come out and they want to talk about this past weekend or they want to talk about an experience that they had or they want to talk about a struggle that's going on in their life.

00:29:12.920 And I want to listen and I want to be a part of that as much as I can.

00:29:18.800 You know, I really appreciate it.

00:29:21.060 I really, really appreciate it.

00:29:22.780 I think we're going to be able to do some neat stuff together.

00:29:25.380 And I know I keep saying that, but slowly those things come into fruition.

00:29:29.180 We're going to, I'm going to Charlotte this weekend and I'll be there.

00:29:32.280 If you have any friends in Charlotte, tell them to come on out.

00:29:34.480 It's not sold out, but it's getting close.

00:29:36.980 And that's October 4th through 6th at the Comedy Zone.

00:29:40.420 And we're going to try, I got Ari Maness coming.

00:29:44.020 And Ari was an original sidekick on this podcast for a few episodes a while back.

00:29:48.320 And he's been a nice friend over the years.

00:29:50.540 And he's a very funny comedian.

00:29:52.060 He's going to come and help.

00:29:53.360 We're going to do the, we're going to do the money for the cleaning lady in the room, in the hotel room.

00:30:02.260 You know, I know those women work hard.

00:30:03.700 And for years, I didn't tip those ladies when I would leave a hotel room because I didn't have any money.

00:30:10.220 And now, you know, I'm able to leave that $5, $10, that $20 or, you know, meet her in the hallway and just say thank you and leave a little bit of money.

00:30:21.080 So, we're going to be, we're going to, our goal is, and we may fail at this.

00:30:26.420 Our goal is to hide money in the hotel room.

00:30:28.640 And, like, before she's going to come in and clean, just basically say, do you want to be on a, like, I guess a hidden camera game show maybe?

00:30:39.200 And then see how it breaks down where she, you know, it's going to be like, okay, you have one minute.

00:30:43.900 We hid money in the room, cash.

00:30:46.140 And now we're, it's, you have this much time to find it.

00:30:51.220 And then we're going to have cameras that, so we'll be able to watch her try and find the money.

00:30:54.420 Which I think will just be a different experience for her being in a hotel room and being able to mess it up and look for cash.

00:31:02.080 So, that should be fun, man.

00:31:03.820 That should be a fun experience.

00:31:05.200 I don't know if that's the best way to do things or what it is or what our plan is.

00:31:08.500 But our plan is just, you know, to help a lady that probably works really hard make a little bit extra cash.

00:31:15.240 So, I want to thank our Patreoners for supporting us on that and contributing to make those types of things happen.

00:31:22.800 So, you know, we use the money to be able to fly Ari there and help, and have him help produce it over the weekend.

00:31:29.700 So, I'm pretty excited.

00:31:31.280 What else?

00:31:31.900 Any other announcements?

00:31:33.480 I think that's, that's kind of what's going on.

00:31:37.060 That's kind of what's going on.

00:31:39.740 What did I do this weekend?

00:31:43.360 Oh, I went and got that PRP.

00:31:46.800 So, some of you guys know, you know, about a year or so ago, I got hair restoration.

00:31:55.100 They take part of your hair, and your hair is just, you know what your hair is just like?

00:32:00.200 Oh, your hair is just, it's like a, it's like a pieces of fabric that grow out of your body.

00:32:07.220 And it's really remarkable when you think about it, that your body is almost like a planet.

00:32:13.980 And, you know, how a planet has like a forest here, and like a pond here, and they have water here.

00:32:20.200 Your body is just like that.

00:32:22.240 Your body is like a planet, you know.

00:32:24.000 And some place that have a forest at the top, and have a, you know, a little forest around your, around your wiener.

00:32:30.900 And on a planet, a wiener would be like a volcano.

00:32:34.500 And then they have, you know, you have lakes, and like whirlpools.

00:32:40.620 And those are like your eyes and mouth that you would, those would be on a planet.

00:32:43.540 It would be like a lake or a sinkhole or a geyser.

00:32:47.060 Your mouth might be a geyser, if we're, you know, the synonym of it for, you know, your body being a planet.

00:32:54.300 Your butthole would be maybe a crater or a, like a dirty wishing well, if somebody had a real dirty wishing well in some town or something like that.

00:33:06.680 But I say that just because like hair is basically like, you know, so I got that hair surgery, and they took, you know, they basically did reforestation.

00:33:14.700 And reforestation is when you take a little bit of a forest, and you move it somewhere else.

00:33:18.780 I don't know if you've ever, like, I remember one time I stayed at a Doubletree, and I stole all the plants out of the lobby, and put them in my hotel room over the weekend.

00:33:25.340 Or over like two weeks, I was there for two weeks working on a television show.

00:33:29.300 And I took the big, they had big, beautiful plants one night.

00:33:32.060 I mean, these is, you know, these plant pots were three feet across, four feet across.

00:33:36.820 And I got them all, and I got them on a dolly, and got them up to my room.

00:33:39.800 So my room looked like a jungle, you know.

00:33:41.840 The lobby looked a little sparse, boy.

00:33:44.680 But my room looked like a jungle.

00:33:48.920 And that's called reforestation when you move plants around.

00:33:52.480 And that's what they do.

00:33:54.540 So I got the hair surgery a while back.

00:33:56.400 They took hair out of the back of my head because, you know, I'm full back here.

00:34:00.680 I mean, I got something.

00:34:02.300 I mean, if, you know, the animals, when I drive by, you can see animals coming to the edge by the highway.

00:34:07.700 Because they see this fucking bad, they see this bad crop I got rocking.

00:34:14.200 I'm that crop rocker.

00:34:16.780 You know, I got soybean, sugar cane hanging off the back of my headpiece.

00:34:23.700 You know, my skull, bro.

00:34:24.760 If they ever do my skull at science, at a science place or a scientific center,

00:34:30.100 I mean, they're never going to be able to get the hair off the skull.

00:34:34.240 That's how my shit, my shit is in there.

00:34:36.920 A lot of my hair starts in my spine, grows up through my brain, out my head bone or my skull and into the world.

00:34:45.700 But animals, they sense that.

00:34:47.000 They know when they see that, you know, when they see that gumption rocking through.

00:34:51.940 When they see that I got the balls to grow the falls, daddy.

00:34:54.860 And anyway, for a year ago, I got the hair transplant.

00:35:00.260 They take the hair out and they put some of it in the front.

00:35:02.480 And I wasn't losing my hair.

00:35:03.760 I just, you know, I've said this before.

00:35:05.780 I love surgery.

00:35:07.320 You know, I love little surgeries.

00:35:08.720 I like being in there.

00:35:09.580 They make you feel taken care of.

00:35:11.980 You get there.

00:35:12.760 They care about who you are.

00:35:14.660 You know, they write down your information.

00:35:17.960 And they have like a nurse that checks on you.

00:35:19.920 It just made me feel really cared for.

00:35:21.460 And so that's what I always liked about them.

00:35:24.540 And so anyway, you have to go back in, though, once a year.

00:35:28.700 And they take stem cells.

00:35:32.080 They take blood out of your arm.

00:35:33.740 And they basically pick an all-star team out of your blood in a machine that picks like all-star.

00:35:39.800 Basically, they get all the Dominique Wilkinses out of your blood.

00:35:43.120 You know, like they put, they send the Lonzo Balls elsewhere.

00:35:45.900 But they take all the, you know, the Kobe Bryants and the Chris Mullins.

00:35:51.480 And the, you know, the Penny Hardaways, the Ant Fernies.

00:35:56.520 And they take all of those, those all-star teams, and they inject them in your scalp.

00:36:00.780 And then it makes your hair stay fresh and, you know, keeps that moisture going.

00:36:05.640 So that's what I did.

00:36:06.720 That's what I did.

00:36:07.620 So if you saw on my Instagram that I was doing this treatment, it's called PRP.

00:36:12.680 And they, and that's what they do.

00:36:14.980 And one of the funny, and they, it's after you get the hair transplant, which I did last year, they put some of my mullet right in the front.

00:36:22.280 So some of the front, front of my hair, even though I don't know if you could tell at all, because I can't even tell.

00:36:28.940 I mean, fuck, it might not even have been effective.

00:36:30.520 But some of the front, front of my hair is actually the back of my hair.

00:36:35.040 And so to just be able to know that if you, you know, you got that hockey haircut, you got that mull mull, you got that thing that when you break it out of a cap or out of a hat, when, you know, raccoons see it, it makes them want to fuck.

00:36:48.020 That's the kind of hair I have.

00:36:49.140 Dude, I'll take my shit for a walk at night.

00:36:53.380 All the raccoons that are just looking through dumpsters, or there's always that one weird raccoon that's in the recycling bin, like, you know, looking at a book or something.

00:37:00.660 Remember that?

00:37:01.160 That raccoon is a, what is wrong with that raccoon?

00:37:05.500 That, you know, but, but they have, but that, but when, when I walk by at night with my hair out there, you see those animals fucking.

00:37:15.900 And so I know that I have something going on out here on the top of my head, and I want to take care of it.

00:37:20.980 And that's what the PRP treatment is.

00:37:22.860 They inject it back in.

00:37:24.260 And my, this doctor that I met in Los Angeles is great.

00:37:26.820 You know, he's a great dude.

00:37:27.800 He's really cool.

00:37:28.460 He used to do liver transplants.

00:37:30.820 And my sister had a liver transplant when I was young.

00:37:33.280 We bonded on that aspect, and then we went from there.

00:37:37.040 But that's what's going on.

00:37:39.440 I'm excited about King and the Sting.

00:37:41.920 What else happened?

00:37:42.960 And we had, let's get into a few calls, man.

00:37:49.520 Let's get into a few calls.

00:37:50.840 I want to let you know that this episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.

00:37:54.500 Gray Block Pizza and Bronx Born Pizza, which is in Bend, Oregon.

00:37:59.600 Gray Block, which is in Los Angeles on Pico Boulevard.

00:38:03.760 My friend Ruben sent me a picture on Instagram the other day of he and his wife over at Gray Block while they were visiting Los Angeles.

00:38:10.340 And I was grateful for that.

00:38:12.200 Thank you for sharing that with me.

00:38:14.300 One of my good friends is the owner of that place.

00:38:17.520 But yeah, I loved Halloween growing up.

00:38:20.220 I loved Halloween.

00:38:21.540 I just loved being young.

00:38:24.000 And I loved that time when you could, you weren't, everything wasn't so judgmental.

00:38:29.480 You know, we let people breathe a little bit.

00:38:31.220 We let people be human.

00:38:32.200 You know, and you got to be human enough so that it actually meant something on Halloween when you got to be a beast or you got to be a scientist or you got to be a bumblebee or a rat.

00:38:48.320 It meant something because you, it's like you were like, oh, tonight I get to creep out.

00:38:57.280 You know, I get to, I get to, you know, I'm enough of a human that I get to creep out.

00:39:04.920 You know, I get to be, I get to be a creep now.

00:39:09.460 I get to be a, you know, it is something that is scary.

00:39:13.320 And there was value in that because it was the one night you could do it.

00:39:21.820 But now people out here fucking trick or treat, everybody, everybody's, some people so angry out in the world, they Halloween and every day, every day they leave their house as a, as a Frankenstein.

00:39:33.780 And Frankenstein was a man, I don't know if he was Jewish or German, Stein, Steen or Stein, one of them is, I think one or the other.

00:39:43.320 Um, but yeah, he was like a, maybe a Jewish man or a German man that had bad skin, I think.

00:39:51.400 And I think he also got electrocuted by his friend and they, I think shared an apartment.

00:39:57.700 I'm not exactly sure, but, uh, but it was fun back then because you could, it was a night to be something different.

00:40:05.400 It was a night to be something different.

00:40:08.600 And I loved it, man.

00:40:09.680 I loved Halloween.

00:40:11.260 Um, this episode is brought to you by betterhelp.com.

00:40:15.660 It is professional and affordable counseling.

00:40:18.500 And if you need counseling or you're considering counseling, you're afraid to maybe go to an actual counselor in your town or in your city.

00:40:24.640 You're afraid to talk to a spouse about maybe going to counseling or a friend.

00:40:28.140 And, um, I found, I found better help to be, uh, better and helpful.

00:40:34.440 Um, and especially a great starter way to get into going to therapy.

00:40:38.040 I go to therapy, uh, you know, I currently go to, um, to, to therapists and it's helpful for me.

00:40:46.260 Will I always need it?

00:40:47.240 I don't know, but for right now it's helpful in my life.

00:40:49.460 And you can go to betterhelp.com slash Theo, T-H-E-O.

00:40:54.540 It's available worldwide.

00:40:56.040 You can interact with a therapist through desktop, mobile app, uh, FaceTime.

00:41:01.140 You can send messages.

00:41:02.700 Uh, you can schedule video and audio sessions.

00:41:05.680 So it's a good way if you aren't sure if therapy or something is right for you, but you may need help with something.

00:41:11.060 It's a good way to get into that world, uh, and check it out.

00:41:14.360 Betterhelp.com slash Theo.

00:41:17.360 What else?

00:41:18.360 Calls, what else, what else?

00:41:20.900 Let's get into some calls here.

00:41:23.220 Um, this, we have, uh, we have, last week we had a guy who called in and he'd been having some issues, you know,

00:41:31.020 and he called in at the end of the podcast and he was struggling with addiction and with some, you know,

00:41:36.480 because the addiction is the dark arts and that's Voldemort living in the nape of your neck.

00:41:41.940 And imagine having something evil just living in the, in your neck, casting spells,

00:41:46.260 casting spells inside of you, spells that you carry out a lot in your life, even though you don't want to.

00:41:53.420 And we had a man that called in last week, a father, you know, he was five days sober and he'd been struggling with some issues, uh,

00:42:00.080 with his wife and, um, feeling like he was going to lose his child.

00:42:03.820 And, uh, and we got, um, we had a couple of responses that came into that and we'll, uh, we'll tap into one right here.

00:42:10.200 This is Jasmine.

00:42:11.980 Onward.

00:42:13.200 Hey, Theo.

00:42:14.100 I'm Jasmine.

00:42:14.880 I'm from Calabasas, California.

00:42:17.900 And this is, uh, Jasmine is, uh, thank you for calling Jasmine.

00:42:21.240 And this is on our video.

00:42:22.460 You can see this on YouTube.

00:42:23.480 You'll be able to see the actual video and you can submit videos to the website through, uh, theovon.com as well.

00:42:29.500 Onward.

00:42:30.220 Calling in cause I heard the last guy, Devin from Montana, uh, going through some dark times with alcohol.

00:42:37.020 And like, um, have not drank alcohol in 10 months now and I'm just, ah, dude, I'm living the best life now.

00:42:45.420 Oh, congratulations, Jasmine.

00:42:46.820 She says she's 10 months now off of alcohol and alcohol is liquid fire batter.

00:42:53.340 I mean, if you don't know what alcohol is, if you're a child or something and you're listening to this, which honestly I recommend, dude.

00:43:00.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:43:01.200 This could be that dangerous thing that kids listen to sometimes this show.

00:43:04.140 So, but, uh, alcohol is basically like pouring fire, basically like pouring the devil's sweat right into your dam, just into your really, into your soul holster.

00:43:13.260 Onward.

00:43:14.280 So maybe some insight on early recovery.

00:43:17.980 Time is going to feel really long right now.

00:43:22.260 Uh, I was a blackout drinker, so, you know, and now I have to live through all those hours and I'd be like, oh my God, like this is so long.

00:43:30.120 Like, but it gets better and it goes back to normal and it's just the first few months.

00:43:36.140 Um, two, your brain is going to do everything it can right now to regulate itself without alcohol.

00:43:43.480 So you're going to feel a lot of feelings.

00:43:45.640 It's going to feel really like maybe irrational, erratic.

00:43:48.300 Um, my tip is write that shit down or put it in a voice memo or something, but get it out of your brain.

00:43:55.980 Because if it stays in your brain, it's going to feel like it's your personality or it's, it's a trait that you have.

00:44:01.060 And it's not, it's, it's just what's going on right now.

00:44:05.060 Wow.

00:44:05.480 Those are, uh, that's really true.

00:44:07.660 That's yeah.

00:44:08.840 If you, it's wild how your thoughts like, yeah, you feel like that's the truth.

00:44:13.560 And especially a lot of times you're going through early recovery, you're in there struggling.

00:44:17.440 And even if you're just in regular life, sometimes you get haunted, you get the ghosts, man.

00:44:23.160 And especially when you're taking off a time off of alcohol or getting into sobriety, you got a lot of time to kill.

00:44:30.320 That's time before where you was at the bar, you was ordering that, you know, you know, that Rumpelmint's Canadian tuck away.

00:44:38.780 You know, with that splash of limelime or something, that's when you were having nine beers or something and, you know, petting your, your buddy's cat or whatever, or, you know, trying to touch a mousetrap, getting real high and trying to touch a mousetrap and be that brave finger, you know, Napoleon Bonaparte of finger fronts.

00:44:59.480 So it's, it is, it's a lot of free time and if you, you know, you got to be careful with your free time.

00:45:06.660 But like she's saying, if you're writing this stuff down, you're getting it out of your head.

00:45:11.400 Because a sheet of paper can really be your head in front of you.

00:45:16.060 And it's hard to look at your head when you are, when you are in your head.

00:45:20.420 So if you can write things down and put your head out in front of you, then you can really get a different perspective.

00:45:26.920 But congratulations, Jasmine, on 10 months.

00:45:29.440 And, and that's, that is some, that's some sweet suggestions there for Devin.

00:45:34.820 Yeah, he was really, really struggling.

00:45:36.560 And I got to get in touch with him, actually.

00:45:40.680 I'll have to make sure to see how he's doing.

00:45:43.560 What else?

00:45:44.200 Let's keep it cruising here.

00:45:45.600 We had another call, actually, with a suggestion for Devin.

00:45:50.600 And let's get into that one.

00:45:51.500 Here we go.

00:45:52.720 Hey, yo, what's up, Bubba?

00:45:54.320 This is Devin down in Georgia, man.

00:45:56.500 Pauldin County.

00:45:57.920 Oh, Devin from Georgia.

00:45:59.140 And this is Devin for Devin.

00:46:00.480 Because the guy who called in last week was Devin.

00:46:02.480 Onward.

00:46:03.340 Gang, gang.

00:46:04.840 I was calling in, man.

00:46:06.240 I was listening to your last episode.

00:46:07.920 There's another guy named Devin.

00:46:09.020 He's going through some things, dude.

00:46:10.960 From one Devin to another, man.

00:46:12.180 I'm just telling him, dude, you can make it.

00:46:13.420 I use this past weekend and the church.

00:46:16.600 I use a lot of you guys' podcasts, man.

00:46:18.440 Get through every day.

00:46:19.780 But after four years and not getting to see my daughter, man.

00:46:22.980 I got her last weekend.

00:46:24.280 I get to go to every soccer practice.

00:46:26.160 I love it, man.

00:46:26.840 It's worthwhile.

00:46:28.000 Keep doing what you're doing, Theo.

00:46:29.520 And Devin, hold in there, man.

00:46:30.480 You got it.

00:46:32.200 Wow.

00:46:33.600 Excuse me there.

00:46:34.340 Wow.

00:46:35.820 Four years until he got to see his daughter.

00:46:38.420 You know, he gets to go to soccer practice.

00:46:41.520 And he said, hold in there.

00:46:43.420 And that's it, man.

00:46:46.100 That's it.

00:46:46.400 Look, this might be your Halloween, like Jasmine's saying.

00:46:49.320 You're going to have these ghosts in your head.

00:46:51.600 You know, you're going to have that Frankenstein or Stein.

00:46:55.200 You know, you're going to have, you know, somebody's dress, you know, little Selena dressed like a pregnant.

00:47:01.900 You're going to have these things in your head.

00:47:03.600 They're going to be haunting you.

00:47:05.600 And you got to hold the line.

00:47:07.120 You know, you got to jump in.

00:47:10.040 You know, you're in the grass now.

00:47:13.000 You know, you ain't still out there running and jumping in the dark hydrants like Daniel.

00:47:18.460 Like little goatee Daniel.

00:47:20.760 You got an opportunity.

00:47:22.160 You're in the grass.

00:47:22.920 And you just got, you have to trudge along.

00:47:25.580 Devin, you have to trudge along to get to that front door to get that snicker.

00:47:30.380 I know that's kind of a crazy correlation.

00:47:32.160 And I'm not, I don't really, you know, it's just a silly correlation.

00:47:36.120 But what I'm saying is that other people can do it.

00:47:39.480 This man, Devin, did it down in Georgia.

00:47:42.700 Dude, if he can do it in Georgia, you can do it in somewhere else.

00:47:45.940 Because different places are just different places, dude.

00:47:48.000 There's different pieces of land.

00:47:50.000 And you can do it, man.

00:47:51.860 You know, but it's nice to know that you have people out there that are thinking about you right now.

00:47:55.940 And you got this, playboy.

00:47:58.080 You got this.

00:47:59.440 And we got to check in with each other.

00:48:00.840 I'm going to check in with you as soon as this show is over.

00:48:02.600 The hotline is 985-664-9503.

00:48:09.180 You can always call the hotline and leave your thoughts, suggestions, feelings, what's going on in your life.

00:48:13.880 You know, we're out here.

00:48:15.480 We're out here.

00:48:16.540 And thank you guys for calling and being a part of this show.

00:48:19.720 Let's take another call here.

00:48:21.860 Onward.

00:48:23.180 What's up, Theo?

00:48:24.260 The Alvarez calling out of California.

00:48:26.780 What's up, Alvarez, man?

00:48:28.320 Onward.

00:48:29.380 Just wondering what you think about, uh,

00:48:31.340 I got fired last week.

00:48:33.220 I'm a maintenance mechanic, electrician, AC guy, certified welder.

00:48:37.940 So I'm on this boom lift.

00:48:39.720 They call me down and tell me to go work on this toilet, which I usually don't do.

00:48:43.820 Toilets full of feces.

00:48:45.960 Mass amount, bro.

00:48:47.420 Oh, yeah, bruh.

00:48:48.480 Them boo-boo cauldrons.

00:48:50.420 And I used to work at a place, bruh, that they had, you know.

00:48:55.160 I used to work at this place called Ducco's when I was young.

00:48:58.360 And it was like a burger joint.

00:48:59.740 And it was only in business for probably two months.

00:49:02.600 Which I didn't even know you could be in business for two months.

00:49:06.180 I mean, that seemed like almost not even a business.

00:49:09.160 It seemed like somebody just having people stop by and then getting a little bit of their money.

00:49:15.520 And that's it.

00:49:17.120 But, so, Ducco's, they had burgers.

00:49:20.340 And cheeseburgers.

00:49:21.400 And they had the famous four.

00:49:23.740 And that's what it was called.

00:49:24.860 And it was four pieces of meat.

00:49:26.900 Cheese on the top.

00:49:28.300 Cheese on the bottom.

00:49:29.760 And that was the big thing.

00:49:31.120 Like, oh, we're going to put cheese on the bottom of the burger.

00:49:33.540 That famous four.

00:49:35.200 And, dude, people would get sick from it, I guess.

00:49:37.680 I don't know if something was wrong with the meat.

00:49:39.000 Or something was wrong with the bread.

00:49:40.160 Or just something was wrong with fucking Ducco and the whole joint.

00:49:43.220 So, I'm in there, bro.

00:49:44.560 I was a counter boy.

00:49:46.000 But that's the funny thing.

00:49:47.300 Look, when there's only two people and employees and one of them's the boss, they hire you as the counter boy.

00:49:52.200 Next thing you know, you in there.

00:49:55.720 Next thing you know, you in there in the toilet with that, you know, that plunger.

00:49:59.760 And you in there just fucking ratatouille.

00:50:01.880 Next thing you know, you're working in that boo-boo kitchen.

00:50:04.600 You're working the toilet shift.

00:50:07.380 Because they don't have anybody else.

00:50:08.920 And the owner want to act like he's never dealt with, you know, like he's never dealt with feces.

00:50:16.040 And even though the crazy thing is, he's the one making the food and selling it.

00:50:19.820 He's the one making people sick.

00:50:22.180 And now I'm having to work in the back streets of this establishment.

00:50:26.540 In the seedy underbelly of his own customers.

00:50:30.340 And, dude, it was the smallest little restaurant.

00:50:32.980 It had three tables.

00:50:34.840 So people would order from me, go sit down, get sick, then go use.

00:50:40.700 And the bathroom, there was no.

00:50:42.480 Sometimes you get a bathroom.

00:50:43.640 There's like a little waiting area.

00:50:44.840 You open a door.

00:50:45.680 There's another little room or a hallway.

00:50:48.140 And then the bathroom.

00:50:48.940 This shit was just door, toilet.

00:50:52.260 No.

00:50:54.500 And it was just gender neutral.

00:50:55.940 Anybody could go in there.

00:50:57.220 Fuck, a mule could go in there if it wanted to.

00:50:59.000 And so you would hear, it was just so bizarre, bro.

00:51:03.580 People would be sick in there.

00:51:05.660 And it's like I'm literally trying to take an order.

00:51:08.900 And like 11 feet away from me through some very, very limited ply wall or whatever it's called, plywood.

00:51:20.400 Very, very limited plywood.

00:51:22.380 You could hear somebody making just some damn, you know, just that body belt.

00:51:27.600 Just, you know, making a belt out of his bottom.

00:51:30.080 And just sweating and feeling really, really airy, man.

00:51:33.480 You're feeling airy.

00:51:35.080 Bro, your booty gets Jamaican, bro.

00:51:36.900 Sometimes you're in there sweating so hard.

00:51:38.740 Don't with me.

00:51:41.080 Onward.

00:51:42.200 Like, there was a sign on the door, don't use it.

00:51:44.800 And some dude did that.

00:51:45.760 I see no toilet paper.

00:51:46.680 All I seen was feces.

00:51:48.060 Oh, that's a booty terrorist, bro.

00:51:50.520 I've been in there, somebody.

00:51:52.420 Dude, I was at a Falcons game one time.

00:51:54.920 And they had a urinal with the bag over it.

00:51:57.620 You know they do that.

00:51:59.220 They put that plastic bag.

00:52:00.720 This dude turned his butt around.

00:52:04.760 You know, cut a little hole in that bag.

00:52:06.880 He had, you know, a sharp object or something.

00:52:08.800 A little shiv or a piece of bone in his pocket.

00:52:11.400 He cut a little thing in that plastic.

00:52:13.900 And boo-booed right into the deal.

00:52:15.740 Unbelievable people living out in the world.

00:52:17.620 Onward.

00:52:18.600 So I'm like, I'm not doing that.

00:52:21.720 He said, the supervisor goes, well, if I have to do it, we don't need you here.

00:52:24.760 I do a lot for you, Joe, because I also go to school at night, trying to get my long-term goals, get my master's in social work.

00:52:31.420 Oh, congratulations, man.

00:52:33.260 I love hearing that.

00:52:35.200 Alvarez, I love hearing that, brother.

00:52:36.500 That's what you want to do.

00:52:38.120 Social work, man.

00:52:39.920 Because you want to help other people, you know?

00:52:42.420 Onward.

00:52:42.660 I'm trying to help, I'm 11 years clean, trying to go that route, you know, right now.

00:52:48.780 Dang.

00:52:49.280 So he helps me out when I have to intern.

00:52:51.920 I'm doing some interning at a drug clinic.

00:52:53.720 But I'm like, I help you, too.

00:52:54.960 I work 16 hours.

00:52:55.880 It's equal.

00:52:56.320 I'm not saying anything.

00:52:57.000 I'm just not cleaning a toilet filled with shit.

00:52:59.540 I'm not doing that.

00:53:01.000 He got all mad, fires me.

00:53:03.240 So now I'm without a job.

00:53:04.840 It's been about three, four days.

00:53:06.160 And I start getting depressed.

00:53:07.300 I start getting weird, like a man needs to work.

00:53:10.440 But I don't know what you think or what other guys think out there.

00:53:12.980 I talk to some friends.

00:53:13.920 They're like, you should have just did it.

00:53:15.740 But I thought, where's the line?

00:53:17.280 I have a three-year-old daughter.

00:53:18.360 Someday I'm going to tell her, you got to do what you feel is right.

00:53:20.580 Self-respect is very important.

00:53:22.740 But, you know, not having a job is a horrible, horrible feeling.

00:53:25.760 I got some things lined up.

00:53:27.800 But I hope to hear it on the podcast, man.

00:53:30.300 I'm all about you, bro.

00:53:32.360 Well, thanks for calling.

00:53:34.020 That's a tough spot because, yeah, you have the child.

00:53:36.920 I think, you know, you take a couple of options.

00:53:38.940 I think you can always go back to him if you still feel like, you know,

00:53:42.600 sometimes it's about being the bigger man.

00:53:45.160 You know, and maybe it was, you know, in that day,

00:53:47.880 sometimes you're feeling a certain way.

00:53:49.200 You could always go back and say, look, I made a mistake.

00:53:52.260 You know, I could have done it differently.

00:53:53.680 I could have said, I could have just taken the direction.

00:53:56.580 I just felt like that was out of line for me.

00:53:58.840 I've been there.

00:54:00.400 You know, I had a dude, I used to wash dishes at this fancy place called Dakota's

00:54:04.260 when I was growing up.

00:54:05.860 And sometime they had an assistant manager or something in there.

00:54:09.100 He tried to make me eat a little bucket of limes, lime slices.

00:54:13.740 And I don't even, I barely knew this man.

00:54:15.440 He was always trying to pretend he was French and shit, but he wasn't.

00:54:17.820 And he was probably an idiot or an idiota.

00:54:23.480 That's French, I don't know.

00:54:25.020 But anyway, he tried to get me to eat this thing of limes and said I had to do it

00:54:28.620 because I was an employee.

00:54:29.340 Man, fuck that, bro.

00:54:31.460 I ain't eating a, you know, they probably had 60 lime slices in there.

00:54:35.980 And I was a child, man.

00:54:37.460 I was probably 16.

00:54:38.920 I'd never had more than even one lime slice.

00:54:41.040 And this man was trying to get me to eat 60 lime slices.

00:54:47.060 And I had to quit.

00:54:49.440 So sometimes you've got to stand up for yourself and you've got to be a man.

00:54:51.720 And that's okay, man.

00:54:52.820 There's something going on in this world where it's like you can't be a man these days.

00:54:56.600 So you can stand up for yourself and you can even go back to even more manly

00:55:00.040 if you want to do it or as manly.

00:55:02.440 You could go back to the dude if you feel differently in a few days and say,

00:55:05.500 hey, I could have handled that differently.

00:55:08.720 Would you consider us working again?

00:55:11.040 That way it's still, you're meeting somebody halfway.

00:55:14.740 You're not giving in.

00:55:18.160 You know, it's nice to be able, I mean, it's the, you know,

00:55:21.440 the most manly thing to do sometimes is to fucking get over that little hurdle.

00:55:26.920 But in the moment, yeah.

00:55:28.620 They got you down there cleaning out somebody else's, you know,

00:55:32.840 dirty fucking booty aquarium.

00:55:36.060 Come on.

00:55:38.540 Get out of there.

00:55:40.080 I'd be out.

00:55:41.440 I'd be out.

00:55:42.040 So I don't blame you.

00:55:43.960 You know, hold it down, you know, for as long as you can.

00:55:46.200 And then when you have to, you know, if you feel like, you know,

00:55:48.780 maybe take a look at some other opportunities.

00:55:50.900 You said you're going back to school.

00:55:52.240 So I'm sure it's probably, you know,

00:55:54.040 I'm sure you're in some tight confines there with work.

00:55:55.960 I would, if you're okay with it, I would probably re-approach the man.

00:56:00.700 If you think you, and it sounds like you guys had some mutual respect for each other.

00:56:04.400 That's what it really sounds like.

00:56:05.640 So I'd re-approach the man and see about that.

00:56:09.680 And your boys might ride you a little bit when you get back to work or whatever,

00:56:12.520 but in the end, I think that they were, it sounds like you're the kind of dude that,

00:56:17.100 that, that guy's on the workship respect.

00:56:20.320 And I think that they would respect you.

00:56:21.920 You could just say cleanly, like, look, I needed a couple of days to cool off, man.

00:56:26.800 Because the booty work around here was a little too hot for daddy to be down there doing,

00:56:31.900 you know, suddenly you out there and you do some little boo-boo ratatouille.

00:56:36.000 And you, you know, just out there working out in some, you know,

00:56:40.020 in somebody else's porridge tank.

00:56:41.680 Come on.

00:56:43.200 But thank you for calling, man.

00:56:44.920 And I love the fact that you're moving forward, that you have a plan in your life.

00:56:48.040 You want to be, do social work.

00:56:50.400 You have a daughter you're already thinking ahead about,

00:56:52.660 that you want to tell your daughter that you stood up for yourself,

00:56:54.660 that you're not afraid to be, stand up for yourself.

00:56:57.180 I love that.

00:56:58.500 I love that, man.

00:56:59.240 It's really, really a powerful message.

00:57:00.520 And I appreciate you calling in.

00:57:04.080 Oh, man.

00:57:05.200 What else?

00:57:05.720 Let's go on, man.

00:57:06.560 Onward.

00:57:07.300 Let's take another call right here.

00:57:08.960 Oh, we had another video call that came in.

00:57:11.520 Let's get that hitter right here.

00:57:13.420 Hi, Theo.

00:57:14.120 My name is also Theo.

00:57:16.300 Oh, that's beautiful.

00:57:17.640 So from, you know, Dos, we got Dos Teodores.

00:57:21.900 Onward.

00:57:22.680 And I am 30 years old.

00:57:24.660 I am from Kansas City.

00:57:26.820 Kansas City.

00:57:28.100 I'm trying to come out there soon.

00:57:29.480 Onward.

00:57:30.140 I'm a musician, just a professional multi-instrumentalist.

00:57:34.100 And I am also a transgender man.

00:57:37.580 I've, you know, I've been transitioning from female to male.

00:57:40.460 Okay, you're going female to male.

00:57:44.000 Okay, onward.

00:57:45.280 First off, I just wanted to say, like, thanks for just, thanks for your podcast.

00:57:50.340 Thanks for putting yourself out there.

00:57:52.720 Because I've been listening to you for maybe about, like, less than two months.

00:57:56.800 And it's really been helping me a lot.

00:58:01.140 Oh, that's sweet of you to say that.

00:58:02.620 I appreciate you saying that.

00:58:04.320 Onward.

00:58:05.060 Through my mental health problems that I've been dealing with this year.

00:58:09.800 So, thank you for that.

00:58:12.020 Oh, I can imagine.

00:58:13.300 If you transition it from one sex to another, I can't even imagine the mental health part of it.

00:58:18.320 Jeepers.

00:58:19.820 Dude, I can't even, you know.

00:58:23.040 I'll watch an episode of Sex and the City, and I can barely hold it together sometimes.

00:58:29.880 So, onward.

00:58:31.100 I was curious.

00:58:33.340 Being a transgender guy, I do not know the first thing about, like, being a dude.

00:58:41.680 I don't.

00:58:42.500 I don't know how to approach the social aspect of it, even though that's exactly, like, how I feel.

00:58:50.160 And so, I was wondering if, you know, maybe you had any advice, or any, you know, especially advice on how not to, like, seem creepy or weird.

00:59:02.920 Because I know people are going to start thinking that now.

00:59:06.300 They don't generally think that of women, but they will think it of men.

00:59:09.780 And I really don't want to come across like that.

00:59:12.400 So, that's pretty much it.

00:59:16.540 Thanks again.

00:59:18.220 Yeah, thanks for calling.

00:59:19.500 No, this is super interesting.

00:59:20.680 How do you get, yeah, how do you be a dude?

00:59:23.360 Well, you showed up at a really wild time, young lady.

00:59:34.040 I don't know if I, I mean, I almost want to say right now it might be safer to go back across the river, you know.

00:59:39.880 It's a scary time to be a man right now.

00:59:42.920 You know, but at the same time, I'm going to do it, you know, and you're going to do it.

00:59:49.260 And I commend you.

00:59:50.660 That's got to be really, really brave.

00:59:52.160 You know, I've never been, you know, I've locked my keys in my car, you know, but I've, I can only imagine if you locked your, you know, if you feel like God kind of locked your, your gender keys, you know, in the vehicle.

01:00:06.740 And you, you got to pop that lock and, you know, and maybe, and renegotiate the ignition a little, you know.

01:00:16.540 They, to be a guy these days, I mean, I think first of all, you got to get some cool, some kind of, maybe some nice slacks, you know, and some nice pants.

01:00:27.160 I think a hat, if you like to do a hat, some guys do a hat.

01:00:34.760 I think these days guys are a lot more supportive of each other than they used to be.

01:00:40.300 I don't think you have to do steroids anymore, so you don't have to do that.

01:00:44.640 You can, I think getting into sports is super good.

01:00:49.260 You know, even if you just watch as a fan, playing some fantasy sports, and it might not be something that you like, but, I mean, I guess you're asking for things that I think make it easier to associate with other men.

01:00:59.640 So those are some of them, being able to talk about sports, being able to, you know, UFC, that kind of stuff.

01:01:05.940 At first, I didn't like watching UFC.

01:01:07.400 I don't like watching people really beat each other.

01:01:09.300 But then you start to see that a lot of these men are heroes, and that they have goals, and that they have ambitions, and the fighting is just the way that they, it's just their, it's their physical process of chasing their dreams.

01:01:25.320 And so I started to really enjoy it more when I look at it like that.

01:01:30.800 How else to be a guy?

01:01:32.420 I would say maybe spit on the ground sometimes.

01:01:35.360 You could do chewing tobacco if you want.

01:01:37.520 I don't recommend it because you could get hooked into the tobacco world, but I used to do it for a while.

01:01:42.200 I worked on a farm, and I didn't feel like that much of a guy.

01:01:45.080 I had to guy up a little bit, and so I'd stuff a couple, you know, socks in my junk area by that, by that, by that fucking, you know, by that little meat tongue, you know, that, that low tongue that you got, that wiener.

01:02:01.940 And I'd put a couple socks in there and start doing chewing tobacco because I was trying to bulk out and man up a little bit.

01:02:07.920 I've done a lot of things to try to seem manly over the years.

01:02:10.980 So how do you welcome over to the boy's side?

01:02:12.900 I mean, it's wild.

01:02:13.460 This is like the craziest game of Red Rover I've ever been in.

01:02:16.760 You know, let me catch your name again at the beginning.

01:02:19.480 It was also Theo.

01:02:20.260 Oh, fuck.

01:02:22.880 At least, maybe I'm not egotistical enough that I don't remember in this sense because it's my own name.

01:02:28.240 But Theo, welcome.

01:02:29.980 You know, wow, I get to welcome a Theo to the man, to being a man, being an adult male.

01:02:35.580 Now, look, it's tough these days, though.

01:02:41.420 You're not, especially you're white guys.

01:02:43.720 So, you know, you're getting, they're going to blame you for everything.

01:02:47.540 You know, even if you didn't do something, you could be blamed for it.

01:02:51.600 But people, the media right now does not like you, so you've got to be careful.

01:02:55.980 So just be careful.

01:02:57.080 You know, be cognizant of what's going on.

01:02:59.540 I don't know if it's a safe time to look a woman in the eyes.

01:03:02.360 A lot of women out there in certain cities.

01:03:04.820 Most of America, you still can.

01:03:06.300 Some places, it's a little dangerous.

01:03:07.700 So I would just be a little bit weary out there.

01:03:12.480 But welcome over to the man's side.

01:03:14.560 You know, we can use some good men over here.

01:03:16.480 And it's nice to see that they got women coming over to this side.

01:03:20.460 You know, because we've had a lot of men slip over onto the other side.

01:03:24.860 You rarely see that bad, you know, that bad boy coming back over here.

01:03:29.800 But Red Rover, Red Rover, send Theo right over.

01:03:33.160 And all aboard and welcome.

01:03:34.880 Thank you for calling in.

01:03:35.840 And that's got to be a brave journey.

01:03:38.380 You know, I've done some different things in my life.

01:03:40.060 Community college.

01:03:42.640 You know, I got poison ivy.

01:03:45.940 You know, I had my penis hole kind of enlarged when I was young.

01:03:49.920 I've tried to learn Spanish about six times.

01:03:52.480 But I've never been through anything like that.

01:03:54.960 And I bet that that's the Mount Olympus really of, you know, you're doing it all.

01:04:01.560 You're doing it all.

01:04:02.700 Oh, boy, that remodel, huh?

01:04:05.200 Woo!

01:04:05.640 Woo!

01:04:06.980 Red Rover, Red Rover, sent Theo right over.

01:04:10.680 And look, if you learned anything while you were over there, get over here and tell us.

01:04:15.100 Because they taking these men out right now.

01:04:18.140 If you a man, if you even, I'm thinking about mailing my dick to another country and going and getting it later.

01:04:23.660 So you might be coming across at the wrong time.

01:04:28.160 But no matter what, we're happy to have you.

01:04:31.020 And that's a wild journey you're on.

01:04:35.280 And I love you, Theo.

01:04:37.380 And welcome, Theo.

01:04:38.320 This is crazy.

01:04:39.000 It's almost like I'm talking to myself.

01:04:40.480 Okay, let's take another call here.

01:04:44.020 What do we got?

01:04:48.720 What's up, Theo?

01:04:49.940 It's Ernesto.

01:04:50.900 And I'm in London.

01:04:52.360 Whoa, Ernesto from London, huh?

01:04:55.760 Onward.

01:04:56.360 Just came back from the Chris D'Elia show.

01:04:58.240 It was all right.

01:04:58.820 And we were sitting here and we were thinking, we had an idea for a show for you.

01:05:05.900 And it goes, Theo Vaughn describes a video for someone with visual disabilities.

01:05:14.600 So they can't see.

01:05:15.620 So you have to describe the video for them.

01:05:18.940 Like as a helpful gesture.

01:05:21.200 Okay, so wait.

01:05:21.840 So I describe a video for somebody with visual difficulties.

01:05:26.020 Like blind syndrome?

01:05:27.100 Okay, so I have to describe a video for them.

01:05:33.080 Or can I describe anything?

01:05:34.680 That's what I want to know.

01:05:36.320 That's the thing, you know.

01:05:37.540 I would love to describe things.

01:05:38.860 Imagine being a describer.

01:05:41.280 Imagine being a seeing eye dog for a blind person, but you're a seeing eye person.

01:05:46.000 Which I think is better.

01:05:47.660 You know what's kind of fucked up?

01:05:48.580 I'll say it.

01:05:49.880 We give blind people a dog.

01:05:51.980 Hey, guy, you can't see anything?

01:05:53.360 Here's a dog.

01:05:54.280 How about a real person that walks around and helps them out?

01:05:59.760 You know, you got a bathroom, buddy.

01:06:01.320 You got one, you know, a kid needs to go to the bathroom.

01:06:03.280 You send them in pairs.

01:06:04.540 But a blind guy needs to go for the rest of his life.

01:06:07.580 And you tie a damn, you know, a Bichon or a, you know, a little baby Australian Shepherd to his hand.

01:06:15.800 An Australian Shepherd, I think, is actually, could handle the job of Bichon.

01:06:19.440 Dude, if you're seeing eye dog as a fucking Bichon, bro, you're not going to make it.

01:06:25.580 Or you're not going to make it far.

01:06:26.720 Maybe you might make it to, like, a, you know, a place like a French restaurant.

01:06:32.040 But, look, I could do it, man.

01:06:34.580 I'd love to describe something to a blind person.

01:06:36.100 A marshmallow?

01:06:37.260 Come on.

01:06:39.300 Dude, I would love to describe a cliff.

01:06:41.560 Imagine describing a cliff.

01:06:43.520 Like, not like a man named Clifford, but like a scary place where you can walk.

01:06:48.060 And then you keep, and if you keep walking, then you're not, then it's, that's it.

01:06:53.200 But imagine being, like, I wonder if blind people, because if I get by the edge of a cliff,

01:06:58.520 my whole body just, like, is, like, do not go anywhere right here.

01:07:04.600 I wonder if that happens with blind people.

01:07:06.740 You know, I want to get, actually, you know what?

01:07:07.980 If you know someone who is blind in the Los Angeles area, and I'm 100% serious here,

01:07:12.580 please hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:07:16.640 You know, because I'm tired of wondering what it's like.

01:07:18.680 I'm tired of having questions for blind people and not being able to talk to them

01:07:22.300 because people are like, oh, it's insensitive.

01:07:25.320 You can't ask a blind person about being blind.

01:07:27.320 I can't.

01:07:28.600 Why not?

01:07:29.820 Yes, I can.

01:07:30.800 If you know a blind person that lives in Los Angeles or even California, we'll fly them down.

01:07:35.540 You know, we'll get them around here.

01:07:38.120 I'd love to be able to have the opportunity to talk to someone who has that ailment

01:07:41.820 and see what's going on.

01:07:43.760 And I don't mean that in a jovial way, you know, because I don't know if I'll see forever.

01:07:51.900 You know, when I think about my life, honestly, I don't always know if I'll have my sight.

01:07:57.420 You know, sometimes when I think about 30 years down the road or even 10, 12, 13 years,

01:08:02.780 I don't know if I, I don't know if my eyes work the same as they do now.

01:08:07.360 So we would love to have somebody on that has that ability.

01:08:10.000 But, yeah, being able to describe things to a blind, I would love to maybe be able to do that

01:08:14.000 if I had enough extra time to do that type of work.

01:08:17.800 But I think it's a beautiful job, you know, to get somebody out there.

01:08:22.660 Or even little, you know, even get like a little blind.

01:08:27.500 They have those, you know, those sex, those goats that do sex and then faint,

01:08:33.040 which I fashioned a lot of, you know, I fashioned my sexual style over

01:08:36.180 because I get so nervous.

01:08:37.320 I'd hold my breath during sex and then just get so keyed up,

01:08:40.260 I'd fucking just be unconscious.

01:08:43.320 Onward, let's take another call.

01:08:44.820 Hey, Dio, what's going on?

01:08:46.360 It's Brendan from Atlanta.

01:08:49.100 I just wanted to call and let you know that you're the man, bro.

01:08:53.920 And you don't need to, you don't need to feel like you need to do anything bigger for us.

01:09:00.080 Exactly what you do helps us and the community that watches you each and every day, you know.

01:09:06.440 Thanks for calling, Brendan, from Atlanta.

01:09:11.880 Let's hear more.

01:09:14.000 I'm a little nervous right now, but.

01:09:16.600 That's okay, man.

01:09:18.440 Don't feel nervous, dude.

01:09:20.520 I appreciate you calling.

01:09:21.700 I think it's nice of you to call.

01:09:22.660 I think it is.

01:09:23.160 Yeah, I could imagine it's probably kind of nervous.

01:09:24.900 But if we ever meet each other in person, don't feel nervous around me.

01:09:28.120 You know, and if you do, just tell me that.

01:09:29.620 But because I don't want anybody to ever have to feel nervous around me, you know.

01:09:36.060 You know, I'm not special.

01:09:38.860 You know, I'm not a special person.

01:09:43.140 You know, I'm just somebody that's just trying to be a fucking person.

01:09:45.660 And it's really hard these days to be a person.

01:09:49.860 It's hard to be a young man.

01:09:51.160 It's hard to be a young man if you struggled and don't even know how to be a man sometimes.

01:09:56.780 You know, and this is the environment we're trying to learn in.

01:10:00.080 But by being here, by you calling in, bro, that's, I really appreciate it.

01:10:05.120 Let's hear more.

01:10:05.560 You know, we don't even notice the bullshit.

01:10:08.180 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:08.860 We don't even notice.

01:10:09.720 Like, when you say you feel like you might not be having a good show or you feel like some things might just go wrong.

01:10:18.080 We just want to see you, bro.

01:10:19.420 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:20.580 So keep on keeping on.

01:10:22.260 Gang, gang.

01:10:23.060 You already know what it is.

01:10:24.620 And I hope that you're having a good day today, bro.

01:10:28.180 You know?

01:10:28.960 All right.

01:10:29.940 Bye.

01:10:31.080 Thanks, Brendan, man.

01:10:32.080 Thanks for that.

01:10:32.620 Yeah, I second-guess myself a lot.

01:10:34.120 You know, I think I've always had, I've had a lot of trouble my whole life in being decision, making decisions.

01:10:40.020 I don't know.

01:10:40.800 I'm not very, you know, nobody ever taught me how to make a decision when I was young.

01:10:45.880 I was making my own decisions.

01:10:47.620 And so I created my own reasoning in my head for why things go the way that they do or why I choose.

01:10:53.320 And sometimes, a lot of times when I was young, it was selfish reasons.

01:10:56.340 And I didn't realize it was selfish reasons.

01:10:58.040 I just needed to survive.

01:10:59.160 I needed to get by.

01:11:00.760 You know, I needed to be able to get some sleep at night.

01:11:03.720 And so, you know, you do whatever you have to do to get into a comfortable place, you know, inside of yourself.

01:11:10.080 And sometimes you create dirty stairwells or misguided.

01:11:14.040 You create stairwells that, you know, don't always connect to floors and stuff.

01:11:18.340 You create your own little belief system inside of you that makes you be able to function and survive.

01:11:24.540 And, yeah, so now I'm an adult and I still have this, you know, some of the contract I'm working inside of me is a little shoddy because I fucking did it all myself as a child.

01:11:35.960 Or I did it with strange influences and, you know, so, yeah, I guess I just get nervous sometimes.

01:11:45.120 And, you know, when I do feel pressure as I get older, I feel pressure as this podcast gets bigger listenership, you know, because I don't want to fail.

01:11:53.480 I feel, I don't know if I, this is interesting.

01:11:58.440 It's like, I don't, I don't, I don't think it's that I don't want to fail myself.

01:12:01.340 I just, you know, it's something.

01:12:05.800 I want this podcast to always feel small, you know, and because to me, a lot of times it feels kind of one-on-one in some ways, you know, like I'll be, I'll be honest.

01:12:23.280 I don't know who you are, Brennan, but in my head, I picture you call.

01:12:26.660 I picture maybe a young black guy or a mixed guy, you know, maybe in a Honda, Honda Accord, bruh, but LX, you know, maybe ducked off somewhere behind a subway or Quiznos, bruh.

01:12:45.200 Fuck subway, dude.

01:12:46.960 How every subway has a B rating on the door and every now and then you see a roach by the meter, a bug, and you pretend like you don't.

01:12:55.580 Come on.

01:12:56.940 But yeah, maybe ducked off somewhere and calling into the hotline.

01:13:01.060 So now that could be totally fictional.

01:13:02.920 I don't know.

01:13:04.020 Dude, you could be, I mean, who knows?

01:13:05.540 You know, you could be a woman.

01:13:07.420 Who knows?

01:13:08.280 But, but I appreciate you calling, man.

01:13:10.040 And thanks for saying that.

01:13:10.920 Yeah, I guess I, I just want to be, I don't want to waste somebody's time.

01:13:15.300 That's what I don't want to do.

01:13:16.640 So I don't want somebody listening to the show and be like, oh man, this dude's wasting my fucking time.

01:13:20.280 That's what I don't want.

01:13:22.080 For some reason in my life, I've always felt like that.

01:13:24.340 Like, I just am like, oh man, I hope I'm not wasting somebody's time.

01:13:30.240 I think maybe, you know, when I was young, people, you know, I think my mom was so busy and had to work so much that, you know, I felt like I was always under the gun emotionally or even with time wise with her.

01:13:44.480 So I, maybe that's why I feel that way now.

01:13:46.720 Like, oh, I just hope I'm not wasting somebody's time.

01:13:48.820 I always feel that way a little bit.

01:13:50.980 But thank you for calling, man.

01:13:52.040 I appreciate you.

01:13:53.360 And the ATL, I hope to be able to come there in the spring.

01:13:56.380 And thanks for your support.

01:13:58.420 You know, I'm going to fuck up on this podcast.

01:13:59.980 I'm not going to, I'm going to say shit people don't agree with.

01:14:01.760 I don't even know.

01:14:03.780 You know, I don't even know sometimes.

01:14:05.220 But we got men coming over to our side.

01:14:07.120 We got another Theo in the books now.

01:14:09.600 So this is shit, we fucking, we heating up, boy.

01:14:13.700 We got this army, baby.

01:14:16.800 Let's go to another call.

01:14:18.000 Onward.

01:14:19.300 ATL, gang, gang.

01:14:20.840 This is Derek Allen calling from Vancouver, Canada.

01:14:24.520 Dirty Derek from Vancouver, son.

01:14:27.880 You that snowy bad boy.

01:14:29.260 You that, you that, you that a dominable cat daddy.

01:14:32.400 You up there in the snow.

01:14:34.980 And snow, think about snow, dude.

01:14:38.000 Think about if a lake.

01:14:39.600 Just jumped up into the air.

01:14:42.440 And made itself cold as fuck.

01:14:45.560 And then fell on everybody.

01:14:48.000 That's savage, bruh.

01:14:50.460 Mother nature ain't, mother nature is slithering.

01:14:55.920 Everybody out here, you know, you know, looking at the flowers in June.

01:15:00.280 And, you know, thinking this bad bitch is all Gryffindor.

01:15:03.420 And then suddenly, come February, mother nature lifting fucking lakes into the sky and icing those things out and shattering them bitches and dropping them on the people's lives.

01:15:20.220 And that's what you get in Canada.

01:15:21.780 Thank you for calling onward.

01:15:22.760 I was calling.

01:15:23.760 I was looking for some advice, pretty much.

01:15:25.820 So I've been talking to this lady.

01:15:27.280 You know, she's traveling across Canada, coming across to live here in my province.

01:15:31.480 She's from Ontario.

01:15:32.820 Oh, yeah.

01:15:33.500 And in Canada, a lot of times, these ladies up there, they got some mad bitches up there.

01:15:37.720 They travel.

01:15:38.540 They got, you know, little dogs in front of them.

01:15:41.680 These Iditarodders.

01:15:43.940 And these Iditarodders is when you have a bunch of, have you ever seen 101 Dalmatians?

01:15:50.500 It's a movie.

01:15:51.380 It's like this angry lady.

01:15:52.840 She's a fucking, I think she's like a coat salesman or like a fashion designer.

01:15:57.020 And she kidnaps a bunch of animals from the fire station.

01:16:02.340 And they strike back, bruh.

01:16:04.740 Those little, those dogs strike back and they're angry and everything.

01:16:08.680 Well, but apparently some of these women, they use husky animals up in Canada.

01:16:14.000 And they're forward moving.

01:16:15.440 And they, that's how a lot of women will travel around Canada.

01:16:18.400 Because I guess it's safer than air travel or something.

01:16:21.000 I'm not sure.

01:16:21.920 I'll have to look into it.

01:16:22.680 It's called Iditarodding.

01:16:24.160 Onward.

01:16:24.780 And anyways, I met her before.

01:16:26.180 I met her a few months back because I was overdoing work over there.

01:16:29.800 Okay.

01:16:29.940 So you met this girl.

01:16:31.600 Opening up a shoe store together, you know.

01:16:34.040 Ooh, that Al Bundy.

01:16:37.000 Dude, in a shoe.

01:16:38.000 Think about it.

01:16:38.580 If you got a shoes.

01:16:39.420 Because, I mean, nowadays, you probably have to stand 11 feet away while a woman tries the shoe on.

01:16:45.660 But back in the day, boy, you used to, you could get up there, you know, touch that heel.

01:16:52.700 Maybe.

01:16:53.420 Ooh, this little, this little piggy went to market, you know.

01:16:57.580 This little piggy had none.

01:16:59.900 Remember that piggy?

01:17:00.820 What the fuck was that piggy doing?

01:17:03.360 This little piggy had roast beef.

01:17:06.980 What the fuck, bro?

01:17:08.160 I got to investigate that shit.

01:17:09.580 Let's hear more, boy.

01:17:10.960 You that Al Bundy of the North, son.

01:17:12.920 There was some tension when we were working together.

01:17:15.940 So anyways, so now she's driving over.

01:17:17.800 And so I get to talking.

01:17:19.340 And she'll be talking about some of that raunchy stuff, you know.

01:17:21.680 We're getting in some dirty tap.

01:17:23.680 Yeah, and that's dark arts, especially in Canada, bro.

01:17:25.900 It's probably not even that raunchy.

01:17:27.140 It's like, oh, do you ever maybe put on a, maybe a hat that's a little too tight?

01:17:33.620 Oh, have you ever, you know, have you ever been, you know, making chocolate milk and instead

01:17:40.120 of one scoop of powder, you put two scoops of powder?

01:17:43.660 I'm just joking.

01:17:44.500 Love Canada more.

01:17:45.540 Some dirty chat.

01:17:46.960 And she goes, she asked me how many, how many ladies I've been with.

01:17:50.960 So I answer three, which is commendable, I think.

01:17:53.520 Three is the male answer.

01:17:54.860 You go three or you go seven.

01:17:57.140 That's it.

01:17:58.520 Three, if you're under 24, you go three.

01:18:01.780 If you're in your 30s, you go seven.

01:18:04.480 And if you're between 24 and 30, brah, you don't know what the fuck's going on anyway.

01:18:09.160 So just wait till you get, you know, to one of those ages and figure it out.

01:18:13.480 More?

01:18:13.940 I'm a 25-year-old guy.

01:18:15.740 Oh, yeah.

01:18:16.380 So, well, you sound like a nice guy.

01:18:17.860 Yeah, 25 is, yeah, an American 24.

01:18:20.680 So that's a Canadian 25.

01:18:22.420 More?

01:18:23.280 And then to which she replies, she goes, I was with three as well, multiplied by seven.

01:18:30.480 So now I'm thinking, oh, this is 21 guys.

01:18:32.600 That's a lot of guys, you know.

01:18:34.360 So anyways, you know, I'm trying to be an adult about this.

01:18:36.380 She's a cute girl.

01:18:37.120 She's a couple years younger than me.

01:18:38.480 But, you know, that's pretty much my story, man.

01:18:41.540 Thanks, Theo.

01:18:42.180 Keep doing your thing, man.

01:18:43.120 Love the podcast.

01:18:43.600 Dang, 101 Dickmations, huh?

01:18:47.760 She's been taken in.

01:18:50.100 Just make sure she don't have any spots on her pup, bro.

01:18:52.720 That's all I'm saying.

01:18:55.160 You know, it's interesting.

01:18:56.480 This makes me think, is sex still, what's the value of it?

01:19:00.760 Does it still have the same emotional value as it once had?

01:19:05.120 And I think to some people it does and some people it doesn't.

01:19:07.620 And some people just, their perspective of sex is totally different.

01:19:11.140 To some people, you know, some people you never have sex.

01:19:15.280 You don't, it's not a, you know, it's like this hidden oracle to you.

01:19:18.840 And some people who have sex all the time, it's more of a comfortable thing.

01:19:22.100 If you're nervous about your body, then sex is one way to you.

01:19:24.740 Or if you're comfortable about your body, sex is another way.

01:19:27.960 If your parents, you know, grew up in the 60s, they may be very sexual or be very open about stuff

01:19:35.900 and you may have been raised that way.

01:19:37.280 Whereas if you parents grew up in, you know, in a rural town or in the, you know, with a church

01:19:45.300 where things is real, you know, they got pictures of like, you know, snakes and stuff on the wall

01:19:50.760 and everything, then they, you know, people might be a little bit more risque about playing freeze tag

01:19:55.000 with your crotch, with another crotch.

01:19:58.680 So it's, you know, it's different.

01:20:01.000 Everybody's sex is different.

01:20:02.120 So, you know, she can make it 22 and you can make it four if y'all want to be like that.

01:20:10.920 But what I do like is, is that you're willing to not judge her on that.

01:20:16.340 Times is different.

01:20:17.380 It's a different time.

01:20:18.200 Now, and people are just different.

01:20:20.420 Some people are in America, you know, they might not have sex their whole lives.

01:20:23.740 They might not do anything.

01:20:26.820 A lot of these women out in, you know, a lot of women nowadays, they just fill in their vaginas with cement

01:20:32.040 and hiring an attorney to stand out front.

01:20:35.400 They're not even letting any, they, you know, it's crazy.

01:20:41.300 So, look, I'm just glad you're having an open conversation with this girl.

01:20:47.080 She sounds fun, bruh.

01:20:49.060 You know, she sounds fun.

01:20:50.420 Tell her to freaking come over to the house.

01:20:52.580 You let her, you know, water, water her dogs a little bit.

01:20:55.920 Maybe she'll teach you some things.

01:20:58.120 She's like the Danica Patrick Cox out there.

01:21:00.500 She's been doing laps around the old, you know, Dick Stadium.

01:21:06.840 So, I think it's cool, man.

01:21:08.620 She sounds cute.

01:21:09.520 Isn't that crazy?

01:21:10.460 Any girl sounds cute, bruh.

01:21:12.560 Hey, let me tell you about this girl.

01:21:13.880 Oh, she fucking sounds hot.

01:21:15.520 Does she have a friend?

01:21:17.180 That's every dude.

01:21:18.500 Let's hear more.

01:21:19.560 Onward.

01:21:20.580 Another call.

01:21:21.440 Another call.

01:21:22.580 Yo, CEO.

01:21:23.580 Big T-Dawg.

01:21:25.200 What's up, T-Dawg?

01:21:26.700 Onward.

01:21:27.240 This is your other T-Dawg, Trey, from Portland, Oregon.

01:21:30.560 What's up, Trey, from Portland?

01:21:32.060 Onward.

01:21:32.800 You know, I've been, you know, as the only black man in Portland, other than the Trailblazers,

01:21:37.560 and probably one of, like, three black people that listen to your show.

01:21:42.480 Yeah, I'm trying to think.

01:21:44.620 I think we have more than that.

01:21:46.220 I bet we probably have about 5,000.

01:21:48.320 But, onward.

01:21:49.780 Listening to the podcast.

01:21:51.220 I've been noticing you say that, like, you're talking about how it's so hard for white people

01:21:54.980 right now.

01:21:55.520 Like, it's like, on one hand, you know, I understand where you're coming from.

01:21:59.500 I get all the minorities and the LGBTQ, W, X, Y's, and Z's coming out of the woodwork

01:22:05.760 looking for trouble.

01:22:07.640 But, on my other hand, I mean, at least you guys don't have to worry about, like, sitting

01:22:12.480 in your house playing Madden.

01:22:15.020 Some drunk off-duty cop comes in and shoots you in the face.

01:22:18.680 Or, you get pulled over when you're out there just trying to get them hitters.

01:22:23.000 Yeah.

01:22:23.460 And then you ended up getting hit.

01:22:25.400 Yeah.

01:22:26.220 That's true.

01:22:26.760 You're trying to grab a couple of burgers.

01:22:28.840 You hit a couple of black guys.

01:22:31.220 And I bet it is a lot more nerve-wracking.

01:22:33.380 I was thinking about that.

01:22:34.140 Imagine if black drivers' cars ran on nervous energy.

01:22:39.280 Dude, that's the...

01:22:40.100 When is Elon Musk coming out with that car for black drivers?

01:22:44.300 The car that runs on nervous energy?

01:22:46.900 Dude, because they must feel it when you're driving around.

01:22:48.860 I've thought about that.

01:22:49.660 Onward.

01:22:49.920 By the police.

01:22:51.180 Y'all don't have to worry about that.

01:22:53.000 So, I get it.

01:22:53.540 You feel like everybody's coming down on you for being a white, straight male.

01:22:57.060 But, try being black.

01:22:59.120 I'm not saying go out and put on black face.

01:23:00.860 But, just try it sometime.

01:23:03.220 I guarantee you it's not the same thing.

01:23:05.520 Preach peace, love, and understanding for everybody.

01:23:08.700 And I get where you're coming from.

01:23:10.700 But, let's not take away from the fact that stuff out here is hard for us color folks, man.

01:23:16.120 Pimping ain't easy.

01:23:17.480 Living ain't easy.

01:23:19.040 Breathing ain't easy.

01:23:20.360 But, I want you to breathe easy.

01:23:22.140 Because, I love you.

01:23:22.960 If you're out here doing the Lord's work, homie.

01:23:24.800 Love you.

01:23:26.040 Amen, bro.

01:23:26.800 I love you, man.

01:23:27.400 I appreciate you calling in.

01:23:29.180 Yeah, you know what?

01:23:29.760 I can't even imagine.

01:23:30.900 There's some things I can't imagine.

01:23:33.200 You know, about being black.

01:23:34.580 I can't imagine being, like you said, like if you're one of the only black people in an area where it's a lot of white people.

01:23:46.240 Like, because I get, if I go into a place that's a lot of black people, I get nervous.

01:23:50.120 You know, I just get, I don't get, and I guess I get nervous because some of my experiences have been different.

01:23:57.460 You know, when I was growing up, I had a lot of friends that were black, and then also would get beat up by black kids.

01:24:02.880 You know, especially when you're poor, it doesn't matter, you know, if you're white or black, those people like to fucking fight.

01:24:07.580 And a lot, there's a lot of ignorance at low levels of poverty.

01:24:11.180 And, and so there was a lot of fighting, man.

01:24:14.220 You know, and it would be crazy because I remember I'd be doing Habitat for Humanity and building houses for some of the black families or whatever that the kids had fucking beat my ass.

01:24:25.100 You know, and had to, you know, just manage all that stuff itself in my head because I didn't have any, you know, my parents weren't, I didn't have an outlet emotionally with my parents to talk about that kind of stuff.

01:24:37.900 Um, but I have thought about, I've thought about, but, and I'll never know what it's like to go into a place, especially if it's a white area and be a black guy.

01:24:50.000 Um, yeah, or how nervous that would make me feel maybe.

01:24:55.480 And I think it's probably different for different people these days.

01:24:58.720 You know, I find I have some black friends that are a lot more chill or a lot more relaxed or chill in certain environments and some that aren't.

01:25:06.280 Um, and also it's probably the environment too.

01:25:11.460 Like if you took me into like a black neighborhood that was more impoverished, then I would probably feel more nervous than if you took me into like a wealthier area, wealthier black area.

01:25:22.940 You know, like at the Lenox Mall, I was fucking nervous because I was like, damn, I'm the poorest fucking person in here.

01:25:29.040 And that, and it was all black people in there.

01:25:32.260 Um, but yeah, I can't imagine what it's like.

01:25:36.280 Um, when you're, yeah, driving or something, or you show up at a place and people think you're going to do something just because you're black.

01:25:48.800 Um, I bet it's scary.

01:25:50.560 I've had two friends in New Orleans, uh, in my lifetime, two black friends that have been murdered.

01:25:54.920 And by, uh, by other black men, by, or, you know, black on black crime, one guy, they never found a person or, and I say guy, I don't know if it was a guy who did it, but it's a day.

01:26:07.760 I can imagine it's been dangerous.

01:26:09.580 I can imagine it's been dangerous, man.

01:26:11.280 You know, I want to be, next time I want to be Mexican, I think.

01:26:16.440 And then after that, I would be black.

01:26:18.300 I think black for me is still a little bit too dangerous, but, but I appreciate you helping me make, think about that.

01:26:25.680 You know, because what's funny is when I was growing up in Louisiana, you, you don't see like, you just see like, oh, it, you get this, there's this energy in the air.

01:26:33.820 You don't see that, you don't see that black people don't have the opportunities.

01:26:38.080 You don't see that.

01:26:39.040 You don't see it because you also, and I guess I was a child.

01:26:44.660 You just don't see that.

01:26:46.820 Um, and this was also in the eighties and nineties.

01:26:49.660 And now as I get older, you're like, oh, well, yeah, there weren't any black doctors in my town because they, they didn't have the opportunities.

01:26:58.800 Um, but now I think I see a lot more stuff in the world where there's more opportunity for diversity, you know, even on commercials.

01:27:06.820 Um, and I was thinking, uh, you know, what's funny is I thought about that.

01:27:17.720 I was like, man, I, you know, I work hard to get to Hollywood.

01:27:19.920 I work hard to get into an environment where I can live out some of my dreams.

01:27:23.600 You know, Hollywood, they're always like, oh, we're so liberal, you know, come here and chase you.

01:27:26.680 You know, it's like, it's just that thing.

01:27:28.040 You can, any, you can be, anybody can be here and your voice is welcome.

01:27:32.660 Um, and yeah, and I've just, a lot of times I've felt like because of having a, you know, more of a rural accent or being where I'm from and being white recently more that I'm not welcome.

01:27:45.880 You know, where I got here in Hollywood, it's like, oh yeah, everybody's welcome, but not me.

01:27:50.340 Um, because of the way I sound or because of the color of my, because of the color of my skin, I would think that sometimes.

01:27:56.280 And, and you know what it made me think, it was like, wow, this is, it made me realize this is what it must have been like to be black in a lot of instances.

01:28:06.000 You know, to be sitting somewhere and think, man, because of the color of my skin or the way I sound over the phone or the way I look my hair, that I'm not going to be welcome or I'm going to be typecast a certain way.

01:28:27.920 You know, I can imagine that's, it's the first time I was like, oh wow, this is my, this must be what it's, has been like for a lot of black people over the years.

01:28:41.020 Um, and I'm not saying I have a no, but I, for a second it gave me a perspective switch for a moment.

01:28:50.220 Like, damn, people don't want me in auditions, don't want me in interviews, think I, you know, you know, writing articles that make me seem bad because they, they, they don't know me because they don't know the, they don't know my voice or my behavior or this or that.

01:29:07.740 Or they just think, oh, he's, he's from Louisiana.

01:29:11.340 You know, he is, you know, he looks this way, he sounds that way, he's that, that must be what he is.

01:29:17.440 Yeah, man, I can't imagine that.

01:29:19.580 And then to still have to go to work every day and have that in the back of your head that, that people aren't going to give you those opportunities.

01:29:31.300 It's wrong.

01:29:34.240 You know, and I think some of that comes from a wrong time.

01:29:37.720 And I think that that kind of stuff I hope is getting better in the world.

01:29:41.900 And I believe that it is from what I see when I go around.

01:29:45.160 I believe that it is.

01:29:46.820 You know, even when I look at, you know, just even advertisements on television and you see now that like, you'll see like, and I reference this a lot, but like an advertisement for Disneyland or Disney World, you'll see it be more of a diverse commercial.

01:30:00.380 And that's good.

01:30:30.360 There's always white kids playing with them.

01:30:33.200 Man, I wonder if that kid thinks inside of him, man, oh, I don't deserve those toys or I'm not, I shouldn't have those.

01:30:39.660 Um, yeah, it's just heartbreaking.

01:30:43.300 You know, it's heartbreaking to think.

01:30:46.360 And Hollywood too.

01:30:47.420 Hollywood's done a shit.

01:30:48.220 Hollywood is, you know, they, they, that's another thing.

01:30:50.540 They try to chant, you know, act like they've been supportive the whole time.

01:30:54.480 You know, you look at this guy, Jeffrey, what's his name recently when they, you know, they took a, someone took a picture of the man at Trader Joe's.

01:31:02.100 And, and I think the person that took a picture of him was just like kind of shocked.

01:31:05.780 And then they wrote newspaper articles that made it bigger than it was, you know, the media blowing it out of proportion.

01:31:11.360 But then I think back, like who owns the rights to that, his onscreen rights, who owns the rights to that man?

01:31:20.380 You know, if you want to, sometimes I think about this and I'm not comparing the two.

01:31:24.540 But when you think of like modern day slavery or modern day ownership, you know, that shit made me, I was like, how is it, you know, this man, you're telling me that a guy who everybody in America knows from these shows and maybe the residuals from those shows, you just don't make so much over time.

01:31:41.300 And maybe because Bill Cosby went to jail and those things went off the air.

01:31:45.640 But man, I saw that.

01:31:46.880 I was like, who owns it?

01:31:47.740 Who owns the rights?

01:31:49.240 I bet you it's a white person sitting somewhere in a house.

01:31:53.900 In Hollywood, that owns the, that owns the rights to this man's likeness on television.

01:31:59.780 You know, that fucked him over out of some bad contract 25 years ago.

01:32:05.380 And that shit was like, where's that?

01:32:08.820 Where, who, who, who, where's the, where is the social media police on that?

01:32:13.980 Somebody owns the rights to that man, to his likeness, not to him as a human.

01:32:18.320 You could see it.

01:32:19.120 You could see the power in him.

01:32:20.480 You know, people knowing who he is and he has the ball, he has the fucking, the chutzpah to stand in there and stack vegetables, bro.

01:32:32.520 And that's pride and that's humility.

01:32:34.320 And that is, you know, I'm guessing he's, I don't know if he's a father, but I hope he is.

01:32:38.420 Because that's the kind of man I would like to be my father.

01:32:43.840 You know, that's the kind of man I would have liked to probably have taught me things when I was young.

01:32:49.060 You can do this.

01:32:50.180 You know, you can be yourself.

01:32:55.340 You don't have to look a certain way or, you know, no matter what, you can be yourself.

01:32:59.880 You don't have to wear a mask.

01:33:04.640 You don't have to not know who you are.

01:33:07.040 You can, you can fucking stand there and look somebody, no matter who they are, what they're thinking of you.

01:33:12.240 And stack your vegetables, you know, or do your work or whatever it is, you know, clean that shit or whatever it is, you know.

01:33:23.960 But, no, I appreciate you calling.

01:33:25.340 I appreciate you making us think about this.

01:33:26.640 Because here's the thing.

01:33:28.100 One of the biggest issues I think in America is perspective.

01:33:30.420 When I was young, sometimes I would see black people in my area, you know, just seem like, oh, a lot of them, oh, they don't care.

01:33:36.580 They don't care about their lives.

01:33:38.640 They don't, you know, they don't, you know, they don't want, they don't want to work hard.

01:33:45.820 They don't want to do this.

01:33:46.680 They don't want to do that.

01:33:49.980 And you would see the kids, a lot of the kids, a lot of, you know, I've said before, a lot of the black kids in my area that by a certain age, they weren't even in school after eighth grade.

01:33:58.120 I mean, I would say 60% were out of school completely, out of school.

01:34:04.960 And when you're young, you just, you don't know, but not when you're, when you're in that area at that time, not today, at that time, you'd be like, well, they don't seem like they hate school.

01:34:15.580 They don't care.

01:34:16.140 They don't want to learn, you know, ignorant.

01:34:19.880 But then once now I get older and I look and I'm able to see like, oh, well, these, they don't, I know what it's like to grow up in that environment where you don't have the, you know, the role model ship.

01:34:34.020 You know, you don't have the ability, you don't have the, some of the opportunity.

01:34:39.580 Or you don't have, even the role model ship is what's huge.

01:34:42.220 If, imagine being a kid, you don't even know anybody at a certain age that's been to college.

01:34:46.020 How the fuck do you think you're going to end up going?

01:34:49.940 You don't know, you don't think you're allowed at Disney World.

01:34:52.420 You're not even going to, it's not even going to be an idea of yours to go.

01:34:56.120 So, yeah, I mean, it's interesting, man.

01:34:57.800 And I like thinking about this kind of stuff.

01:34:59.960 And I like the fact that I'm open to have different ideas about it.

01:35:03.040 And I like the fact that you are too.

01:35:06.100 And I appreciate you for not judging me solely based on one sentence or on one thought.

01:35:11.380 But I think that, look, everybody has a different experience.

01:35:17.100 And different, you know, an experience in Oregon will be different than an experience in Louisiana.

01:35:23.020 And that's another thing that I think is people's lives are different.

01:35:28.360 You know, somebody talking about racism in one city is going to be totally different than the racism in another city.

01:35:36.320 And I also think that there's too much, you can't blame just white.

01:35:41.280 There's a great deal of racist people of all cultures and all ethnicities.

01:35:48.280 Black, Mexican, I'm sure there's hella racist Native Americans.

01:35:55.660 Dude, I know some racist black people.

01:36:00.460 I know some racist white people.

01:36:02.780 But as long as we act like it's just a one-person thing, you know, we'll be in a tough, I think we're not going to get past it.

01:36:14.320 You know, I think in time we will get past it.

01:36:16.460 We're also in this generation now where everything is like, you know, we're new to these cameras and these phones and these abilities.

01:36:21.680 So it's frenetic.

01:36:22.920 A lot of that's going to disappear.

01:36:24.960 Not disappear, but it's going to become part of the main way we are.

01:36:29.080 And so I think it'll calm down some.

01:36:32.780 But yeah, I don't not think that black people have had a tough time.

01:36:37.260 I don't not think that.

01:36:38.380 I think in some areas probably tougher than, in some areas tougher than others.

01:36:42.600 I think.

01:36:43.500 Just my thoughts.

01:36:44.560 I might be totally fucking wrong.

01:36:48.000 Probably am.

01:36:49.740 But I'm not going to be afraid to talk about it.

01:36:52.020 And I don't think anybody should be afraid to talk about something.

01:36:55.660 But yeah, if I had never gotten into it, if I'd never had the life path that I've had, different places, different things, seen stuff.

01:37:05.920 I don't know if I ever would have been able to see that as clearly.

01:37:10.120 And been able to have, you know, be able to see both perspectives and different perspectives.

01:37:14.120 But it's fascinating.

01:37:17.320 Life's fascinating.

01:37:18.540 And we're here.

01:37:20.060 And we're in a country that has a ton of opportunity.

01:37:23.660 And I think that that's beautiful.

01:37:25.460 And I think, I think, but I think we, so we got to find a solution.

01:37:29.100 We have to move forward.

01:37:30.560 We got to keep moving forward.

01:37:32.380 But I love your attitude, man.

01:37:33.680 And I appreciate you calling in.

01:37:35.100 All right, let's take two more calls, man.

01:37:36.500 And let's shut this thing down, man.

01:37:38.040 Here we go.

01:37:38.620 Hey, my name is Jimmy.

01:37:41.240 I'm 21.

01:37:42.360 I'm from California.

01:37:43.720 And I'm a huge fan.

01:37:45.440 You've been helping me get to some shit.

01:37:47.360 And that's kind of what I'm calling about.

01:37:49.020 It's like I just want to, you know, throw it out there.

01:37:54.200 Thanks for calling, Jimmy.

01:37:55.380 Onward.

01:37:56.120 In April, I was in a motorcycle accident that kind of put my femur through my tibia, shattered my tibia.

01:38:03.060 Ooh.

01:38:04.800 Sorry, man.

01:38:05.480 That shook me down for a second more.

01:38:07.060 Yeah, and I lost, I lost a lot of my grounding there.

01:38:14.200 I was a wildland firefighter before that had happened.

01:38:16.860 And I was on my way to start working at a higher position.

01:38:23.980 I lost my girlfriend after the accident.

01:38:28.240 I don't know, I've been lonely since the accident.

01:38:30.260 Wow, so you were in a motorcycle accident and severely disabled afterwards.

01:38:39.260 Onward?

01:38:40.660 I have no funds, like no money.

01:38:43.260 I don't know, my whole life just kind of turned around after this.

01:38:47.700 You know, it's been hard to get back on my feet.

01:38:50.440 My leg still doesn't work properly yet.

01:38:52.040 But I don't know if I'll ever get back on my feet the way I was before.

01:38:56.400 And I just, I don't know, I'm kind of like going through an identity crisis through this whole thing.

01:39:01.460 And that's why I'm like, you're picking on this.

01:39:03.740 And I've been, I've been, uh, been drinking alone a lot lately.

01:39:08.600 Um, I just don't really know who to turn to at the moment.

01:39:14.340 Well, I appreciate you calling, man.

01:39:15.840 Thanks for calling in.

01:39:16.780 Yeah, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this, as I can imagine.

01:39:19.580 And that depression, you know, I never had a handicap like that.

01:39:23.400 You know, I never had a physical handicap, but I've had emotional handicaps.

01:39:26.720 And I know what it's like to stay indoors for years and not want to do stuff.

01:39:30.240 And, um, to feel less than, and, uh, you know, to feel like people don't want to, like you're not deserving of a good life.

01:39:41.480 And that stuff builds on itself, too.

01:39:43.840 You know, uh, depression is like a moss.

01:39:46.380 You know, in the dark, it builds.

01:39:49.800 And indoors, you know, in a wet indoors, when you keep, you know, when you keep your body like a, when you keep your life like a, like the bottom of a, of a, of a wishing well, it gets, you know, moldy.

01:40:00.240 And, uh, and depressions like that, it'll grow on itself.

01:40:04.800 It's like, you know, like, uh, that, uh, that kudzu over there in Atlanta, Brandon, over there in Atlanta, Brandon, sorry.

01:40:13.980 But, and Brandon was the previous caller.

01:40:17.080 That's why I said that.

01:40:17.860 But, uh, but yeah, man, who to turn to?

01:40:23.980 I mean, the truth is you got to turn to yourself, bro.

01:40:30.240 You know, and people will help you shoulder the load and you can turn to friends and you can turn to family, you know, and that, and those are tertiary things that are going to help you, I think.

01:40:41.700 But in the end, man, it's going to have to be that turn to yourself.

01:40:44.240 And you don't have to put a timeline on that or anything.

01:40:50.660 And I'm, and look, and also, I don't know.

01:40:53.800 I don't know.

01:40:54.600 I never been in a motorcycle accident.

01:40:56.000 I don't ride motorcycles because of accidents.

01:40:59.060 That's why.

01:41:00.500 You know, I used to go speak about organ donation because of my sister.

01:41:03.740 And the number one organ donors are motorcyclists.

01:41:06.240 Now, do I get jealous every time I'm in traffic and see a motorcycle zip through?

01:41:11.920 Yes.

01:41:12.700 Do I come in and do I, do I respect the men that can be out there and just be like, get your motor running.

01:41:18.900 And they got a hot piece of ass on the back.

01:41:21.300 Yes.

01:41:22.540 Or even just a little, even if it's a puppy back there, still can be a beautiful little fucking little baby Doberman that looks like it's down to fuck, you know.

01:41:30.220 But yes, I feel that.

01:41:31.600 But, yeah, I'm jealous of that.

01:41:35.360 But, but, yeah, you got to turn to you, bro.

01:41:40.360 You got to turn to you.

01:41:41.220 You know what?

01:41:42.020 I, I was listening to this podcast the other day called Business and Biceps.

01:41:47.160 It's out of Maurice Claret.

01:41:49.420 You guys remember Maurice Claret from Ohio State University, I believe.

01:41:54.100 And, and they have, he has a podcast now with John Fosco.

01:41:58.960 You guys got to, I was just listening when I was just, it's called Business and Biceps, but this is a clip from it that I pulled.

01:42:05.320 Let me find it here because I was hoping to be able to use, here, here we go.

01:42:14.380 And we have a generation where people just feel sorry for themselves.

01:42:17.640 This is Maurice Claret.

01:42:18.920 And I'm not saying that this is you, but I'm trying, I'm going to try to tie these in a little bit if I can.

01:42:23.040 Hold on.

01:42:23.600 All right.

01:42:23.900 John thinks his sad story is more important than Corey's sad story.

01:42:27.280 I think my sad story, everybody got one, bro.

01:42:30.520 And don't nobody give a fuck, but you can walk around thinking that your sad story or the circumstance that you come from.

01:42:38.340 Is a valid reason.

01:42:39.360 Is a valid reason to justify.

01:42:41.260 Right.

01:42:41.540 You know, why you're feeling the way that you do or if somebody should give you a break.

01:42:45.540 Nobody gives a fuck, bro.

01:42:47.060 You know what I'm saying?

01:42:48.480 And, and, and, and, and like as hard as it is to swallow for most people.

01:42:53.600 And as much as we think that, you know, we should all care.

01:42:56.360 I said, you know, nobody cares besides your mother.

01:42:59.160 You know what I'm saying?

01:42:59.980 True that.

01:43:00.580 And your pastor on Sunday and he's getting paid to care.

01:43:04.620 And that's from a, yeah, the pocket is called Business and Biceps.

01:43:07.120 And that's from Maurice Claret.

01:43:08.260 He's on there, John Foss.

01:43:09.440 They got a couple of guys out there and they are, they're, you know, they are, they're Midwestern dudes.

01:43:14.740 And they're hard hitters, you know, and, and Maurice is talking about how nobody cares about your sad story on here.

01:43:22.400 And, and I, you know, I don't know.

01:43:25.580 I don't, I'm not saying I disagree.

01:43:27.220 Right.

01:43:27.680 I love his perspective.

01:43:29.080 I respect his perspective.

01:43:30.860 I mean, this is a man who, this is a man who you want to talk about the Dex Act against him in the world.

01:43:37.420 I mean, physically, no.

01:43:39.520 I mean, when you look, if you, you can't, I don't think you can talk about a, you know, a black guy and say that.

01:43:44.920 Physically, they have the Dex Act against them.

01:43:47.860 That is, dude, I don't know.

01:43:50.160 Every time I see a black, you ever seen a black guy, you know, with his shirt off, you're like, damn, that dude.

01:43:56.120 It's like, he's just living in a Lamborghini, you know, and you show up with your white body.

01:44:01.640 It's a little, you know, it can be a little, I mean, at least my white body.

01:44:06.320 But this is a man who's been through it all.

01:44:09.120 This is a man who's been through it all and turned his life around Maurice Claret.

01:44:11.560 But, and so to hear him say that, that, you know, nobody gives, let's listen one more time.

01:44:21.500 You know, somebody should give you a break.

01:44:47.920 And so, you know, this doesn't pertain exactly to the motorcycle accident.

01:44:54.500 But it's like, yeah, at some point we got to look to ourselves.

01:44:58.020 We, you got, we have to look to ourselves.

01:45:00.880 Because in the end, it's really all you got.

01:45:03.480 You know, you got a mother that cares about you, hopefully.

01:45:06.040 And if you don't, you got a father that cares about you, hopefully.

01:45:08.360 And if you don't, you have a brother or sister that does.

01:45:10.180 And if you don't, then you got me.

01:45:12.240 You got the rest of the this past weekenders.

01:45:15.140 You know, you got, I mean, you have people that will.

01:45:18.980 You can find people that will.

01:45:20.480 But we have to, you got to meet the world halfway.

01:45:24.200 We have to.

01:45:26.540 You know, like I didn't, you know, I was getting into drugs and, you know, getting into cocaine problems and stuff like that.

01:45:30.780 And I didn't get any better until I went to get better.

01:45:38.340 You know, I can't sit around, you can't sit around forever and think that it's going to change.

01:45:44.360 The only thing, the only thing that makes change is change.

01:45:48.180 That's it.

01:45:49.240 Change doesn't just fucking happen.

01:45:52.000 It doesn't just happen.

01:45:54.340 There has to be a catalyst.

01:45:55.960 And now you can sit and wait forever for a catalyst if you want.

01:45:58.740 You can wait for Mother Nature to pick a lake up and bust it in the ice and make snow.

01:46:05.100 Or you can get out there and just put on some ice skates and fucking turn your whole world in the ice if you want.

01:46:14.660 You can get out there.

01:46:17.860 But it's one of the, you know, it's like, it's going to be a lot easier for you to start that fire than to sit and wait for a fucking fire to show up.

01:46:26.320 Come on.

01:46:26.920 But I love you, man.

01:46:29.420 And I hope that, you know, I haven't never had a physical impairment and I can't imagine what it's like.

01:46:34.640 But I hope that you feel better.

01:46:36.600 And I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, but, you know, I don't want you sitting there feeling bad.

01:46:41.320 And I don't really know any other way to inspire you from here or any other way to be supportive than by saying fucking get going.

01:46:47.320 And you sound like a nice fucking dude.

01:46:50.600 You sound like a good person.

01:46:51.640 And I think that the world needs you, bro.

01:46:57.560 Because there's some shady fucks out there.

01:46:59.840 Gang, bro.

01:47:00.860 Let's take one more call.

01:47:03.000 What up, Theo?

01:47:03.800 It's your boy Jordan from Mobile, Alabama.

01:47:06.120 What's up, Jordan?

01:47:06.900 Down there in Mobile.

01:47:09.060 And that's at Alabama.

01:47:10.920 God dang, that Crimson Tide is good, aren't they?

01:47:12.920 They are just, they are good.

01:47:14.580 Onward.

01:47:14.840 Jesus, man.

01:47:36.720 I'm sorry to hear that, brother.

01:47:38.960 And, dude, shout out to anybody that was ever injured in mosh pits in the 90s.

01:47:45.580 I can't, dude, I remember, there would be a band in town that would be like Electric Puppy Corpse.

01:47:52.280 And you'd be like, what?

01:47:53.820 You'd be like, it would be like Dick Down Falcons.

01:47:58.000 And they're playing at night at the fucking crispy crust hole.

01:48:03.140 And you'd go in and it would, all it would be would be a mosh pit.

01:48:06.440 It was six or seven bad musicians.

01:48:09.600 And one time I remember going to one, everybody played the drums.

01:48:14.040 Nobody even sang.

01:48:16.000 It was seven guys all on drums.

01:48:18.440 Three guys were on the same drum set from different angles.

01:48:21.880 And it was one guy screaming in the corner.

01:48:24.200 I think something was actually wrong with him.

01:48:25.500 I think his leg was trapped in something.

01:48:27.160 And then it was, it was some guys, and then it was just people mosh pitting.

01:48:34.400 And mosh pitting, it was back in the day, it would just be people fighting indoors somewhere.

01:48:39.960 And it was kind of sanctioned by music.

01:48:41.820 Like the music was the referee when the music would slow down.

01:48:44.260 That's when the fighting would stop and you'd pull the bloody people out and whatever and put people's teeth back in.

01:48:49.440 And I remember putting somebody's fucking molar in the back, not even mine, but it took.

01:48:55.600 And I remember one dude, he would light his hands on fire and just come rolling through the mosh pit.

01:48:59.980 By the end of the night, his fucking, he would just have smoke coming off the ends of his arms.

01:49:06.020 Mosh pit.

01:49:06.900 I can't, shout out to everybody who's been injured and handicapped mentally and physically from mosh pits in the 90s.

01:49:13.900 Dude, I salute you.

01:49:16.560 You know, it was a, it was an insane time.

01:49:21.020 He'd be like, come see, oh, John does, it'd be like John does piss toasters.

01:49:26.580 They're playing a night at the Holiday Inn.

01:49:31.380 He'd be like, come see, um, come see, uh, Unseparated Twins, Gasoline, Firefuck.

01:49:39.580 Oh, they're playing, uh, uh, you know, at that abandoned shed next to the Ramada.

01:49:45.040 And you'd go in there, no lights, people beating each other in the dark to drums and violins, and someone screaming into a microphone for help.

01:49:54.340 And that was, that was, I think they called it mosh pitting.

01:49:58.460 But shout out, onward.

01:50:00.120 And I'm sorry, man, you got paralyzed from the waist down.

01:50:01.980 I'm not trying to make this not about you, uh, but I'm just trying to share that.

01:50:05.720 So that was pretty rough, I ended up getting, you know, put me on medicines I ended up getting addicted to.

01:50:11.940 And it was pretty rough.

01:50:13.380 And I know a lot of people, they call in, deal with anxiety and depression, and I've dealt with that due to this injury.

01:50:18.860 And I finally come through it, I'm off of all the medicines, I've learned to walk again.

01:50:23.240 Wow.

01:50:25.060 Dude, this is awesome, man.

01:50:28.320 And our producer, thank, this is a great call, this is a great call.

01:50:32.220 Uh, congratulations, bro.

01:50:33.680 Oh, God, I can't even imagine not being able to move.

01:50:38.920 And then they put you on painkillers that are highly addictive.

01:50:45.820 You didn't stand a chance, man, I don't think.

01:50:48.200 Onward.

01:50:48.460 And it wasn't easy, but I just want to get the message out there that it is possible to change your attitude.

01:50:55.880 And even when life throws crazy things at you, just, you know, stick with it and keep moving, because that's what it's all about.

01:51:04.860 If you stay down and out, it ain't gonna get better.

01:51:06.740 Man, this is crazy, because, uh, you know, we might just stop after this, because this is, um, yeah, man.

01:51:17.920 You know, it's tough.

01:51:18.960 Look, coming from you, that's what I need to hear.

01:51:22.500 You know, I've been dealing with just some little things myself here and there, but it's been making me feel just uncertain and unsure.

01:51:27.480 You know, and sometimes, even when things are going well, there's something inside of me that wants to fuck them all up.

01:51:36.220 But, man, you know, how am I gonna complain today when I know you're dealing with this?

01:51:41.580 You can't even move.

01:51:44.040 And now you can.

01:51:46.580 And now you're back, bro.

01:51:51.260 Now you trick-or-treating again, son.

01:51:53.140 You trick-or-treating, bro.

01:51:57.260 You was that coal miner in the wheelchair, and now you that fuck in.

01:52:02.920 Now you're pregnant, Selena, bro.

01:52:06.920 Now you're about to deliver in this world.

01:52:10.520 Let's hear more.

01:52:12.000 Why not just try to look forward and do the best you can do?

01:52:16.120 And, yeah, I really don't know what else to say.

01:52:19.000 I love you, man.

01:52:20.600 And, uh, keep it up.

01:52:23.140 Man, when a guy who can, who was handicapped from the waist down, and he's telling me, uh, to keep it up.

01:52:36.040 He's calling to encourage me.

01:52:38.200 Wow.

01:52:41.840 Thanks, man.

01:52:42.480 I needed that, dude.

01:52:44.760 I mean, how big is that?

01:52:48.040 That he, you know, that's his situation.

01:52:49.760 He's thinking about moving forward.

01:52:52.660 How do we move forward?

01:52:54.600 How do you move forward when you are paralyzed, you know, when you are addicted?

01:53:00.920 This fucking guy, that's one guy right there in Alabama.

01:53:04.580 You know, a place that's tough to live.

01:53:07.960 I don't care what color you are or what, if you have a head or you don't have arms or whatever, you're in a wheelchair, you're electrocuted.

01:53:15.760 You fucking have wings poking out of your back.

01:53:19.020 You're like, Daniel, you're a damn hoof boy.

01:53:21.140 You know, your daddy turned you into a fucking little deer.

01:53:25.240 You know, it's a tough, look.

01:53:26.900 That's a tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough, tough existence that this man has had.

01:53:33.920 And he's moving forward, bro.

01:53:35.740 I love it.

01:53:37.140 I love it, man.

01:53:38.160 Man, I'm happy to be here to be a part of this.

01:53:42.760 Whatever paralyzes you, bro, if you're feeling down, you know, if your paralyzation has come from, you know, decades and generations and centuries of your people being not given opportunity.

01:53:58.520 You know, if your paralyzation comes from, you know, self-doubt and depression, you know, sexual inadequacy, you know, anger, you know, issues where you felt like you didn't get the love you needed as a child.

01:54:20.300 Whatever it is, it's like, look, man, you heard fucking Maurice fucking Claret say it, bro.

01:54:26.260 And we have a generation where people just feel sorry for themselves.

01:54:30.860 And it's not, we're not, and we are, we are feeling sorry for ourselves and that's okay.

01:54:34.440 We can feel it.

01:54:35.460 We can feel it.

01:54:36.120 We're here feeling it.

01:54:37.020 That's what we're doing.

01:54:38.440 And it's not all what we're doing.

01:54:39.820 We're conversing.

01:54:40.520 We're figuring it out, but we can keep moving.

01:54:43.000 We can keep moving forward.

01:54:44.980 There's a guy who's fucking paralyzed moving forward, bro.

01:54:48.560 We can all do it.

01:54:51.860 So it's going to be really awkward right now to lead us out of here with this scary music.

01:54:55.440 But you can always hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:55:01.660 Thank you to everybody that called, you know.

01:55:04.860 And if this podcast ain't for you, brother, then it ain't for you.

01:55:08.100 If it is for you, it is for you.

01:55:10.320 I want to wish everybody a happy Halloween.

01:55:15.640 And I want to wish everybody, and I want to wish myself more patience with others.

01:55:24.500 And I want to wish the same thing for you.

01:55:26.100 And I want to wish people that are struggling with something that they can start to unstruggle with it and feel power back inside of themselves.

01:55:38.560 And I want to wish that for myself, too.

01:55:40.980 And that's okay.

01:55:41.920 And I believe that we're good people.

01:55:52.420 And I believe that if we're not, that we still can be.

01:55:57.200 And they say a leopard never changes its spots.

01:56:00.720 And I don't believe that.

01:56:01.800 I do not believe that at all.

01:56:06.240 Because I don't have the same spots I used to have, man.

01:56:09.500 I mean, I might have a whole new rash, but it's not the same spots.

01:56:13.680 Let's listen to this Halloween music.

01:56:23.680 And that's not good enough.

01:56:28.060 Awkward way to end the episode.

01:56:30.160 But that's life, boy.

01:56:31.700 Sometimes it's good.

01:56:33.020 Sometimes it's weird.

01:56:34.660 Sometimes it's whatever.

01:56:36.060 As always, you can hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:56:39.500 I want to thank you to everyone that called in.

01:56:44.180 I'm very grateful to have callers that care.

01:56:49.740 Enough to A, share their lives.

01:56:53.220 And B,

01:56:55.020 Fuck, I don't know what B is yet.

01:57:09.500 And B, share their thoughts.

01:57:14.160 Yeah, share their lives and their thoughts.

01:57:16.640 I'm grateful for that.

01:57:18.820 Ooh.

01:57:23.560 Halloween's coming, bro.

01:57:24.540 What you want to be?

01:57:26.860 I want that snicker.

01:57:30.220 I want that snicker.

01:57:33.740 Ooh, sometime now I would settle for a little baby Ruth guy.

01:57:40.320 Damn, bruh.

01:57:42.620 A baby Ruth, bruh.

01:57:45.940 I don't know who baby Ruth is, man.

01:57:47.840 But I want to put that little bad girl in my mouth.

01:57:50.000 You feel me, gang?

01:57:51.280 Gang.

01:57:54.000 Let's see if this is scary.

01:57:59.780 You guys be good to yourselves, man.

01:58:01.060 You probably deserve it.

01:58:01.940 And thank you guys for being here with me this week.

01:58:05.580 I'll see you guys on Thursday's episode.

01:58:10.460 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club.

01:58:34.900 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

01:58:38.920 stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:58:42.660 The answer may shock you.

01:58:44.380 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:58:46.440 Sometimes I won't.

01:58:47.980 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:58:51.040 You have three new voice messages.

01:58:54.040 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:58:56.940 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:58:59.660 Longer than anybody else.

01:59:01.260 So great.

01:59:01.900 Hey, sweetie, here's a deal.

01:59:05.640 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.

01:59:09.560 Do you know what I mean?

01:59:10.820 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:59:14.640 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:59:16.740 Oh, no!

01:59:18.240 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:59:21.300 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:59:25.600 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:59:29.840 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:59:33.520 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:59:35.620 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

01:59:38.700 Thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 01, 2018

Keep Moving Forward ｜ This Past Weekend #135

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