This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Michael Rosenbaum

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00:01:19.300 This weekend, I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina. I'm also coming soon to Minneapolis, Chicago, Nashville, Toronto, Appleton, Wisconsin, and a few other places.

00:01:31.480 You can get all the tickets at Theovan.com slash tour, T-O-U-R.

00:01:36.780 Also, do you like animals? Some people do, some people don't.

00:01:41.200 Well, we're doing an episode coming up about animals.

00:01:44.420 So, if you have an experience that happened with an animal, it could be a thing where maybe you, you know, you had an animal and something crazy happened.

00:01:53.940 You had an animal and maybe y'all took things to like a unique level, you know, emotionally or spiritually.

00:01:59.820 Maybe you had an animal that saved your life.

00:02:02.500 Maybe you had an animal, that you caught an animal trying to do something sneaky with your child.

00:02:07.320 If you have an amazing experience that happened with an animal, hit the hotline.

00:02:12.720 Don't hit the hotline and just say, look, I got a snake. His name is, you know, fucking Reginald.

00:02:17.740 I don't care about that.

00:02:19.060 I need a real experience that happened with you and an animal.

00:02:22.120 The hotline is 985-664-9503.

00:02:27.440 And now today's episode is really just a superb human.

00:02:31.580 He does a lot of new stuff.

00:02:32.760 He's got a great new podcast called Inside of You.

00:02:37.540 He also played Lex Luthor in Smallville on television.

00:02:45.180 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Michael Rosenbaum.

00:02:47.260 Shine that light on me.

00:02:54.520 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

00:02:59.260 Your hair looks great.

00:03:01.140 Thanks, man.

00:03:02.240 I just got up, bro.

00:03:04.000 Really?

00:03:04.400 Fucking head.

00:03:05.620 I just haven't been sleeping that good.

00:03:06.880 I just got back from China.

00:03:07.900 So we rolling, bud?

00:03:09.580 All right, cool.

00:03:10.120 Dude, thanks for coming in today.

00:03:13.200 Yeah, it's exciting.

00:03:14.620 Yeah.

00:03:14.920 It seems like it was a little, I wouldn't say messy.

00:03:17.400 Yeah.

00:03:17.720 But it seems like I walked in, the first thing you said was, you look like shit.

00:03:21.400 Yeah.

00:03:21.900 Which was, was that true?

00:03:23.060 Was that a true statement?

00:03:24.440 I mean, first of all, move the mic down a little bit.

00:03:26.300 You're hiding behind the mic.

00:03:27.560 Okay.

00:03:28.060 Which is a novice, novice podcaster.

00:03:31.180 Yeah, my bad.

00:03:31.980 Move.

00:03:32.300 Okay.

00:03:33.340 Second, did I think you look like shit?

00:03:37.780 How do you think you look?

00:03:39.500 Well, I thought this was just a podcast.

00:03:41.640 I thought, you know, we weren't going to video it.

00:03:43.900 So I bought off, I brought my cutoff sweatpants and LeBron shirt that hasn't been washed.

00:03:50.180 Wow.

00:03:51.620 Immediately on the LeBron wagon.

00:03:53.340 Well, no.

00:03:54.340 See, I'm one of those guys who just, I don't really know anything about basketball.

00:03:57.320 I could name five players, but I like LeBron, you know, and people give him shit.

00:04:01.460 And we don't talk sports, but the fact that he was in Cleveland, moved just to get a championship,

00:04:06.640 came back to Cleveland, won a championship, then came out to LA.

00:04:09.960 Yeah.

00:04:10.340 At the end of your career, you've done everything.

00:04:11.980 Why not play for the Lakers?

00:04:13.240 Yeah.

00:04:13.840 You know, and I live here, so it'd be fun to see him.

00:04:15.940 So yeah, I'm on the wagon.

00:04:17.240 Fuck it.

00:04:17.740 Did, now who was also on the wagon is who?

00:04:20.080 Michael Rappaport?

00:04:21.340 Is he on the wagon or he hates LeBron?

00:04:23.040 He hates LeBron.

00:04:23.760 Does he hate LeBron?

00:04:24.900 Ha, so now LeBron's out here.

00:04:26.360 Well, I'm a Knicks fan and we just, we have nothing to root for.

00:04:30.160 Well, you guys put all that money on Carmelo.

00:04:32.180 Yeah, he's just terrible.

00:04:32.900 He's not a champion.

00:04:33.780 Well, he's just not a team player.

00:04:35.720 Right.

00:04:36.400 That's what I felt.

00:04:37.440 And so, yeah, it was a little disconcerting to watch those years.

00:04:41.180 And you're a hockey guy, right?

00:04:42.580 Big hockey fan, yeah.

00:04:43.760 Yeah.

00:04:44.340 Yeah, I love hockey.

00:04:45.220 I think it's the best sport in the world.

00:04:46.120 Now, when you saw that, like, because recently the Las Vegas Knights, right?

00:04:49.880 Yeah, that's right.

00:04:50.600 You're not a hockey fan, are you?

00:04:51.920 I'm not a hockey fan.

00:04:52.540 Well, I grew up in Louisiana.

00:04:53.380 We didn't even have, I remember one time we got some ice.

00:04:57.180 One time you got ice?

00:04:58.360 Everybody used it, yeah.

00:04:59.660 People used it to keep meat cold and everything like that, and that was it.

00:05:03.000 If you'd have been caught skating on that, dude, somebody would have beat your ass.

00:05:06.000 Beat your ass, yeah.

00:05:06.900 Well, it would have just been treason, you know?

00:05:08.580 It would have been high treason, actually.

00:05:10.620 You know, skating on a, just a, you know, such a usable good.

00:05:14.060 Well, I grew up in Indiana, southern Indiana.

00:05:15.700 We had, like, there was like a rink or two, so that's where I started playing hockey.

00:05:18.860 So I guess when you get down to that Midwest, you can still maybe get an occasional rink.

00:05:22.540 Yeah, Indiana.

00:05:23.440 Once you get down to Louisiana, I think, yeah, you're right.

00:05:25.660 I don't really know a lot of people that play in Louisiana.

00:05:28.160 There's not a lot of NHL players from Louisiana.

00:05:30.400 Right.

00:05:30.520 But, yeah, we were close, relatively close to Michigan, a couple hours.

00:05:35.300 Chicago, Ohio, cold states.

00:05:38.960 Chicago's not a state, but it's a city.

00:05:40.780 Did you feel, but it could be a state.

00:05:43.360 It could be.

00:05:44.020 You know what I'm saying?

00:05:44.560 It depends also.

00:05:45.720 If you have a mentally handicapped friend who doesn't know that much, and he might think

00:05:48.800 it's a state.

00:05:49.380 For sure.

00:05:50.440 For sure.

00:05:51.280 A theme park.

00:05:51.960 Some people think it's a theme park.

00:05:52.940 Chicago's a theme park?

00:05:54.120 Yeah.

00:05:54.560 Yeah, I don't know that.

00:05:55.920 You think Chicago's a theme park?

00:05:57.520 The whole Midwest is a theme park for me.

00:05:59.520 Mm-hmm.

00:05:59.820 Yeah?

00:06:00.100 I'm from La Crosse, Wisconsin, so.

00:06:01.660 Oh, really?

00:06:02.140 Yeah, I love Chi-Town.

00:06:03.140 That's a cold place, man.

00:06:04.500 Very cold.

00:06:05.060 That's why I'm here.

00:06:05.820 Yeah, those people, yeah, they get cold over there.

00:06:08.140 Yeah.

00:06:08.260 And there's a lot of premature baby country, too.

00:06:10.560 You know that?

00:06:11.120 Premature baby country?

00:06:12.120 Yeah, isn't it?

00:06:12.980 I think that was just afflicted me.

00:06:15.980 What is premature baby?

00:06:17.880 Theo's convinced I'm a premature baby.

00:06:20.020 I didn't say that.

00:06:21.000 I don't know my biological parents that well, so it's quite possible.

00:06:24.100 So you think you just came out too soon?

00:06:26.360 Yeah, at least smoking during pregnancy.

00:06:28.960 He seemed like he just got here early sometimes.

00:06:30.960 Oh, I feel like I, yeah, that makes sense.

00:06:33.160 Do you ever feel that about yourself?

00:06:34.000 Right now.

00:06:34.860 Really?

00:06:35.080 I didn't sleep well last night.

00:06:36.480 My dog was moving around.

00:06:38.860 Yeah, I just kind of feel out of it.

00:06:40.860 Do you sleep in the bed with the dog?

00:06:42.560 I do sleep in the bed with the dog.

00:06:43.720 And you know what, for some reason, every night I think, you know what, this night I'm going

00:06:46.580 to have him sleep outside of the door.

00:06:48.020 And he's going to sleep outside of the room, and I'm going to get some good sleep.

00:06:50.120 But there's something about it now that I need his warmth.

00:06:54.740 Now, do you start to worry that that will replace, because you're not married, right?

00:06:58.080 No.

00:06:58.820 Now, do you worry, though, that that, like, you know, that, say, whatever, like, vibe

00:07:03.560 you were going to, like, say your instincts were, like, thinking, oh, it would be nice

00:07:07.460 to have a woman here, that you fill those with the dog, and then you end up not, you

00:07:11.380 know, like, it's just less of a push to get married?

00:07:14.840 I mean, if you even want to, or to have a...

00:07:16.780 I don't know.

00:07:17.280 The dog's 10, which is 70, really.

00:07:19.980 And I've been dating this girl for, like, six months, and she likes the dog.

00:07:24.100 Oh, she does.

00:07:24.820 But she needs, sort of needs the dog on the bed, too.

00:07:27.320 Maybe it's her safety net, too.

00:07:28.740 It's like, oh, he's here, but I kind of need the dog to balance things out.

00:07:32.000 It also separates us a little, so you don't have to cuddle or do some shit like that.

00:07:36.020 You know, the dog's like, hey, buddy, come right in there in the middle.

00:07:38.120 Yeah.

00:07:38.420 And the dog just gets there, and you're like, all right, fuck off for a while.

00:07:41.000 Yeah, but I like dating a woman who doesn't always have to be so attached.

00:07:46.940 Oh, yeah.

00:07:47.440 I think touching somebody while you sleep sometimes can be really bizarre.

00:07:51.380 I think it's rude.

00:07:52.220 Yeah.

00:07:52.440 If you're sleeping, there's no reason to touch someone.

00:07:54.980 Well, you know, a lot of countries don't do it.

00:07:56.580 It's really an American thing.

00:07:57.920 Is it?

00:07:58.340 Yeah.

00:07:59.040 You don't see people in France doing that?

00:08:01.260 Oh, the French are.

00:08:02.220 Who gives a fuck what they do, I feel like.

00:08:03.820 But it's like, if you go to some other real countries, I think, yeah.

00:08:09.480 Real countries, yeah.

00:08:10.140 You don't, the only reason, yeah, yeah.

00:08:13.320 Well, look, the only reason France isn't gone is because people are, you know, kind of trying to be patient with them.

00:08:18.100 But I think that if you go to some real countries, yeah, dude, you go to Russia, you go to, like, Nigeria, Senegal, these people are not sleeping next to them.

00:08:28.460 They're not hugging at night.

00:08:30.500 It's almost insane to hug someone and also be asleep at the same time when you think about that.

00:08:36.060 Yeah, that's really weird.

00:08:36.920 Some people need to hold on to people to fall asleep.

00:08:39.340 Are you a cuddler?

00:08:40.740 Do you have a girlfriend?

00:08:41.720 No.

00:08:41.960 I have a, yeah, I've got a girl that I've been seeing, but we do not sleep on the same bed.

00:08:49.920 You know.

00:08:50.560 You sleep on the same bed.

00:08:51.740 Well, we sleep on the same bed, but we sleep in separate realms of it.

00:08:54.260 Yeah, like I roll over, I'm facing the wall, and she faces the wall on the other side.

00:08:59.220 Yeah.

00:08:59.460 I think that's really important.

00:09:00.680 It's like, give me my space.

00:09:02.140 Yeah.

00:09:02.420 I like to roll.

00:09:02.840 I punched her in the face the other night inadvertently.

00:09:06.140 I just rolled over for a stretch in the middle of the night, and bam, and I just.

00:09:10.260 Are you a hard stretcher?

00:09:12.580 I'm a harder puncher.

00:09:15.080 You know what?

00:09:17.720 Well, it just was one of those things where I felt so bad.

00:09:20.800 I didn't, I've never punched a girl.

00:09:22.940 And, you know.

00:09:23.240 And was it out of a cold sleep, and then you hit?

00:09:25.020 Oh, yeah.

00:09:25.360 I was like, oh, my God.

00:09:26.500 She's like, what happened?

00:09:27.900 I'm like, I think I punched you in the face.

00:09:29.840 The dog's angry.

00:09:31.080 Yeah.

00:09:31.540 Fucking the, you know, the dog wasn't there at that time.

00:09:33.600 See, that shows you I need the dog there.

00:09:35.480 Yeah.

00:09:36.240 I was actually sharing a bed with a friend of mine, and we were just sharing a hotel room with my

00:09:40.520 buddy, and then we each met some girls one time, and we were all sharing beds in New

00:09:45.160 York, and out of a, I was in a dead sleep just in a, and I like punched, like actually

00:09:51.020 punched this girl that was with me.

00:09:53.720 You almost said chick, didn't you?

00:09:54.860 Not, I mean, she was of age, everyone was of age, and we, and I, and I like punched her.

00:10:03.080 I woke up, and I had punched, like I, it just happened.

00:10:05.500 No reason?

00:10:06.020 No.

00:10:06.340 Were you drunk?

00:10:07.080 No, it was a scary, just a scary dream or something that happened, and she was rushing,

00:10:11.340 dude, and she had a straight cranium on her, bro.

00:10:13.880 She had a fucking, you know, from like the temples up, she was like Buster Douglas, you

00:10:18.340 know?

00:10:18.640 So it didn't even phase her?

00:10:19.820 She had a real top piece.

00:10:20.940 It definitely woke her up, you know?

00:10:23.720 Did you feel bad?

00:10:24.680 She was like, I think I have to go pee.

00:10:26.360 That was it.

00:10:27.660 It's a strong woman right there.

00:10:29.400 Strong woman could take a little punch like that.

00:10:31.160 Wow, holy shit.

00:10:32.020 And it honestly made me, and I don't mean like, it made me like almost respect, like

00:10:36.400 wow, like that's a, this is a real tough lady, you know?

00:10:39.220 Yeah, you need a tough woman in your life.

00:10:41.420 Dude, I had a woman one time in Brazil put her hand in my pocket to steal my money, right?

00:10:48.140 And this is a dark woman.

00:10:49.060 I guess she was, she was in America, they would say a black woman, and in Brazil, I'm not sure

00:10:53.360 if it was, you know, sometimes people say like, you know, it's different kind of colors, different

00:10:58.680 connotation, different vibe or whatever.

00:11:00.240 But she looked like a kind of a black woman in America.

00:11:03.600 And she put her hand in my pocket on all my money, was pulling it out.

00:11:07.860 And so I take my other hand and like pin her hand against my side.

00:11:13.520 And then she's still trying to do it.

00:11:17.000 And so now I pull my hand out of my own pocket.

00:11:23.340 I have her hand pinned against my side and we're punching each other with our loose hands, me and this woman.

00:11:28.060 You're trading blows with this woman from Brazil?

00:11:31.140 And she was a fucking man.

00:11:33.380 In the face?

00:11:34.580 Yeah, in the neck.

00:11:35.360 I mean, bro, yeah, she was going to steal.

00:11:37.180 She would have stolen anything.

00:11:38.160 She would have stole my, anything I put in her hand, she was going to steal.

00:11:42.000 Or I didn't put in her hand because I didn't put in my hand.

00:11:43.660 Yeah, why would you want to do that?

00:11:44.960 Yeah, I wouldn't.

00:11:46.060 And she was stealing everything.

00:11:48.140 And man, I felt like I was getting stolen from.

00:11:50.120 And you just changed, like exchanged blows with your opposite hand, your loose hand?

00:11:54.840 Yeah, and it's harder than you think.

00:11:56.560 Like if you have like one of your hands kind of pinned against your-

00:11:58.900 If it's crossed, that one's crossed and you're trying to do one of these, these little-

00:12:02.380 Yeah, that's a weird way to fight someone.

00:12:04.440 Yeah.

00:12:05.040 That should be on TV, those matches.

00:12:07.320 Yeah, one arm fighting.

00:12:08.420 Do the Alanis Morissette fight, one hand in my pocket and just another in your neck.

00:12:15.520 Yeah, dude, that'd be great.

00:12:16.940 We should start that.

00:12:18.220 Do the Alanis Morissette fights?

00:12:19.980 Yeah, what do you think, man?

00:12:21.700 Dude-

00:12:22.240 I'm into it, I'm into it.

00:12:24.840 I love that, man.

00:12:26.100 That's a great idea.

00:12:27.200 What would be another cool sport to start?

00:12:30.440 You ever think about something like that?

00:12:32.080 Yeah, another sport.

00:12:34.560 Shit, man, there's so many-

00:12:36.140 We need a new sport, you know?

00:12:38.360 What sport do you think is going to go-

00:12:40.060 Something naked.

00:12:41.100 I'd love like to see-

00:12:42.520 Like, naked and afraid is such a big thing now.

00:12:45.040 People love that show.

00:12:46.400 Imagine you're doing a sport like naked.

00:12:50.420 You don't like that idea?

00:12:51.600 Yeah, uh-uh.

00:12:52.700 I don't-

00:12:53.180 Is there something playing?

00:12:53.840 Sorry, I just kept hearing something.

00:12:56.120 Do I like a naked-

00:12:58.720 I like naked and afraid, but-

00:13:02.000 You hear that?

00:13:03.540 I think that's fighter and the guy.

00:13:05.340 Oh, it could be.

00:13:07.020 Do you-

00:13:07.940 But if I had to pick a sport-

00:13:10.180 Here's my question.

00:13:12.460 What sport do you think is going to disappear first?

00:13:14.780 That's what I wonder.

00:13:16.120 Because I don't know if all of these sports are going to stay afloat forever, you know?

00:13:19.220 Baseball's definitely gotten boring.

00:13:20.580 It's gotten boring, but I think it's kind of just-

00:13:22.560 It's just so Midwest, so universal, you know?

00:13:25.720 Well, I wouldn't say universal, but just for-

00:13:27.440 That's America, you know?

00:13:28.740 It's like people think.

00:13:30.680 You know, football with all the injuries and the head injuries, and they lost a lot of-

00:13:34.560 I mean, I don't know if that will ever go away, but now it's getting more and more dangerous, so-

00:13:38.900 Right.

00:13:39.660 I mean, they're going to take fighting out of hockey.

00:13:42.280 I don't-

00:13:42.740 Shit, I don't know.

00:13:43.920 Everybody said, you know what's funny?

00:13:45.300 Is everybody who loves soccer says, soccer's going to be the biggest sport in the world.

00:13:48.980 It is the biggest sport in the world because of the World Cup.

00:13:50.820 Right.

00:13:51.120 But so every four years, you have to hear how it's the best sport in the world.

00:13:54.380 I don't agree with that.

00:13:55.900 And then you don't hear about it anymore.

00:13:57.500 For four more years.

00:13:58.500 In America.

00:13:59.140 I mean, I think in the rest of the world, yeah, it's great.

00:14:01.460 I mean, I think the World Cup's amazing.

00:14:02.660 I watched as many games as I could.

00:14:05.360 Yeah, it's great.

00:14:05.460 I don't watch soccer.

00:14:06.180 The second I turn on American soccer, it's not appealing at all to me.

00:14:09.800 And I just like a sport where there's more goals scored.

00:14:12.480 I mean, I just don't want to watch, hey, there's 90 minutes and nothing's happened.

00:14:15.640 Oh, that guy fell down again.

00:14:17.240 Yeah.

00:14:17.600 It's competitive and fun in the World Cup.

00:14:19.680 But yeah, American soccer, I don't know.

00:14:21.420 We're going to get reamed for that.

00:14:22.060 I would like to watch a guy who's texting around on his wife, but also living with her

00:14:26.200 in the same house, but sneakily texting other women.

00:14:29.820 I think if they could turn that-

00:14:30.900 That's a sport?

00:14:32.160 It is.

00:14:32.640 It's definitely one of the most popular sports in America.

00:14:34.640 I wish that they had a way to make it like a way that we could keep score at home and

00:14:41.080 like watch it, you know?

00:14:42.260 I feel like I wonder if more natural things that we do as humans, if we just videotape

00:14:47.560 those, you know what I'm saying?

00:14:48.960 Since there's going to be more like, we're getting into the time where everything is videotaped.

00:14:52.820 Like Truman Show kind of shit, where it's just all the time.

00:14:55.660 Right.

00:14:56.180 And then somehow within those idiosyncrasies or behaviors of humans become like a sport,

00:15:02.460 you know what I'm saying?

00:15:03.080 Yeah, I think that could be kind of cool because I think a lot of guys probably do that.

00:15:07.180 A lot of women do that.

00:15:08.380 Yeah.

00:15:08.660 You know, they're like acting like their lives are all great, bouncing around the house

00:15:11.720 and secretly texting some, right?

00:15:14.660 Yeah.

00:15:15.080 You've never done that.

00:15:15.820 You seem like a good guy.

00:15:16.680 You wouldn't do that.

00:15:17.440 Oh, no, man.

00:15:18.080 I've struggled a lot, man.

00:15:19.460 I've struggled a lot with that kind of stuff, dude.

00:15:21.220 That stuff's hard, man.

00:15:22.580 Yeah.

00:15:23.180 You've struggled with cheating.

00:15:24.220 Yeah.

00:15:24.560 I've never been good at it.

00:15:25.420 What about you?

00:15:26.120 Never been good at cheating or never been a cheater?

00:15:29.160 I've been a cheater and I've never been good at cheating.

00:15:31.740 I've been good at it, but it never ends well.

00:15:33.860 In the end, I've never been good at it because it makes me feel like a bad person, but I'm

00:15:39.860 unable to not do it.

00:15:42.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:43.200 Yeah.

00:15:44.000 It's a tough one.

00:15:45.220 Believe it or not, I've never cheated.

00:15:46.700 Wow.

00:15:47.280 And I haven't been, I've been in some, yeah, it's tough for me.

00:15:49.880 I just can't live with myself.

00:15:50.800 Like you said that I'm just not good at, I just feel so horrible.

00:15:55.460 Yeah.

00:15:55.660 Like, why would I do this?

00:15:57.500 Yeah.

00:15:58.020 You know, there's even like, you know, some girl gave me her number like years ago and

00:16:01.620 I was dating this person.

00:16:02.500 She goes, hey, call me.

00:16:03.500 And she was so pretty.

00:16:04.920 And I was like, oh, yeah.

00:16:05.960 And then afterwards, I took her number and I deleted it.

00:16:07.800 I was like, oh, my God, what did I do?

00:16:09.700 Because I felt like this is, you know, I shouldn't be doing this.

00:16:12.360 Is the girl doing this to me?

00:16:14.200 I don't know.

00:16:14.680 I'm weird like that.

00:16:15.640 Yeah.

00:16:15.760 But there's a lot of cheating that goes on.

00:16:16.960 No, you're not weird like that.

00:16:17.560 I mean, that's the right way to do it.

00:16:19.840 Yeah.

00:16:20.120 And it's also like a balancing act.

00:16:21.320 Even like when you're dating, man.

00:16:22.700 Have you ever noticed this?

00:16:23.380 When you're dating, it's like you always have, you know, especially when you're in your 20s

00:16:27.760 or 30s.

00:16:28.280 How old are you now?

00:16:29.300 I'm in my 30s.

00:16:30.000 I'm 38.

00:16:30.620 Yeah, I'm 46.

00:16:31.700 Are you really?

00:16:32.240 Yeah, I can't be doing this shit.

00:16:33.500 So when you said that you look like shit, I probably look better now.

00:16:35.960 You look better now.

00:16:36.680 Because I don't look maybe 40.

00:16:37.840 I look like early 40s, maybe.

00:16:40.020 You look better now than when you came in the room.

00:16:41.740 Really?

00:16:41.940 I've woken up a little bit.

00:16:43.120 Yeah.

00:16:44.100 Oh, good.

00:16:45.500 That's a treat.

00:16:46.240 By the end of this, you could look fucking really good.

00:16:48.500 I could look 40.

00:16:50.080 Brad Pitt, he throws at me.

00:16:51.660 Wow.

00:16:51.800 You kind of look like Brad Pitt on your picture the past weekend with Theo Vaughn.

00:16:55.400 That's a really handsome picture.

00:16:56.620 You are a handsome guy.

00:16:57.960 I'm an 8, bro.

00:16:59.080 I've got a big nose and my eyes are kind of a little too Polish.

00:17:02.960 My friend Dax said I was an 8.

00:17:05.060 He says you're a 6 in looks and a 10 in personality, so you're a solid 8.

00:17:08.820 So I was like, hey, that's cool.

00:17:10.280 8's the one to get.

00:17:11.040 It's universal.

00:17:12.320 You know, it's kind of filled out.

00:17:14.080 Like, you know, I think 8s kind of know some of their strengths and know their weaknesses.

00:17:18.340 10s seem, imagine being a 10 dude.

00:17:20.340 Nah, I can't do it.

00:17:21.300 Because you're only going one way.

00:17:22.780 Yeah.

00:17:23.220 Down.

00:17:24.280 If you're a 10, you're only going down.

00:17:25.740 That's why I feel like all these hot guys, like Bradley Cooper and, you know, yeah, they're gorgeous.

00:17:31.580 He looks like a llama a little bit, though.

00:17:33.340 He looks like kind of a strong llama.

00:17:35.240 A strong llama, a good-looking llama.

00:17:36.940 You know what I'm saying?

00:17:37.500 He's long and, you know, it's a little too long, you know.

00:17:39.920 Really think.

00:17:40.420 So, you know, the thing is, is if he's a 10 now, you only got one way to go.

00:17:44.520 For us, guys like us, well, you're better looking than me.

00:17:46.760 But I feel like, hey, when I get older, maybe I'll look a little better.

00:17:51.400 Right.

00:17:51.480 Or I won't.

00:17:51.940 You won't, here's the difference.

00:17:53.360 You won't notice when I start to look worse.

00:17:55.720 Right.

00:17:56.020 As you will somebody who's really good-looking.

00:17:58.360 Right.

00:17:58.700 When they get a little worse, everybody notices.

00:18:00.740 Oh, what happened to Bradley Cooper?

00:18:02.260 Yeah.

00:18:02.800 Oh, God.

00:18:03.300 He really fell off.

00:18:04.200 And all he did was, you know, he has a little bit of jam on his cheek from breakfast.

00:18:08.200 Some jam.

00:18:09.200 Yeah.

00:18:09.340 That's all it was.

00:18:10.260 It was a little jam.

00:18:11.200 And he's just going downhill.

00:18:12.240 We have jam on our cheek?

00:18:13.480 Yeah.

00:18:13.760 It's cute.

00:18:14.300 People are like, oh, God, look at that guy.

00:18:15.620 God, that cute jam.

00:18:16.320 Look at that little smucker bunny.

00:18:18.380 You know?

00:18:19.340 It's true.

00:18:20.000 Yeah.

00:18:20.260 That's my theory on all of it.

00:18:21.440 Well, dude, you know, I love that.

00:18:23.160 That is the best thing about being an eight.

00:18:24.700 It's like you have room to grow.

00:18:27.080 You have room to flow kind of a little bit.

00:18:29.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:29.680 Yeah.

00:18:29.700 You have the potential.

00:18:30.400 You could show up and be an eight and a half at a wedding.

00:18:32.980 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:33.280 It's true.

00:18:33.600 He's throwing a suit, Theo, Han.

00:18:35.640 Yeah.

00:18:35.960 And you're kicking close to an eight and a half, nine.

00:18:38.880 Yeah.

00:18:39.020 How about you clean up real well?

00:18:41.140 No, no, no, no.

00:18:42.260 I don't think that.

00:18:43.180 But I think that you can look like – I love this.

00:18:46.840 So I love the idea that everybody should think that they're an eight because here's what I also think is that, you know, like your buddy Dax told you that you have – that you're a ten in personality and a six in looks, right?

00:19:00.700 And his calculations could be off, dude, or they could be, you know, pretty correct.

00:19:06.120 But the thing is is that it's great to have – I feel like we all even out.

00:19:11.680 It's all fucking evens out, dude.

00:19:13.980 So it's like somebody that's rich could be a fucking piece of shit, right?

00:19:18.380 Yeah.

00:19:18.700 Somebody that has one arm could have a huge dick, right?

00:19:21.640 Somebody that has – somebody that can't read could be Rain Man, you know?

00:19:26.860 So everybody has their strengths is what you're saying.

00:19:29.180 Yes, but it has their strengths.

00:19:30.320 But it's all – and in the end, if you're able to get a complete look at somebody, it all evens out.

00:19:34.880 So I think everybody is an eight, really.

00:19:37.380 Well, that's nice of you to say that.

00:19:38.880 I think everybody's an eight.

00:19:39.640 You think Nick's an eight?

00:19:41.040 Is it Nick?

00:19:41.840 He could do it, dude, but he was born early.

00:19:44.300 Yeah, you're a premature baby.

00:19:45.680 I may be a six, but if I was full term, I'd be an eight.

00:19:48.680 Here's the thing.

00:19:49.380 He'll live probably 80 years.

00:19:51.260 He'll never hit nine months.

00:19:52.960 You know what I'm saying?

00:19:55.760 He'll live 80 years, but he'll never be a fully ripe –

00:19:57.720 Oh, he'll be that eight-month journeyman.

00:19:59.720 He's a 12 journeyman.

00:20:00.540 Yeah, dude.

00:20:01.300 He's like Sam Perkins or whatever of genetics.

00:20:03.820 Was your mom a stoner or anything like that?

00:20:05.800 Oh, come on.

00:20:06.640 She was all those things.

00:20:08.260 Well, my mom was.

00:20:09.100 My mom was on Valium and a lot of drugs and things like that.

00:20:12.620 A lot of drugs and also schizophrenia.

00:20:14.540 Oh, wow.

00:20:14.940 She had schizophrenia?

00:20:15.780 Yeah.

00:20:16.500 Yeah, you should see this documentary called Three Identical Strangers that's out right now.

00:20:21.280 It's pretty fucked up.

00:20:22.060 It's called Looking for Nick Davis?

00:20:23.400 Looking for Nick Davis.

00:20:24.580 Have you seen that documentary?

00:20:25.560 It was premature.

00:20:26.980 Yeah.

00:20:27.700 Dude, where is the premature baby documentary and how that all plays out?

00:20:31.740 I wonder how that affects children.

00:20:33.980 Yeah.

00:20:34.160 Can I follow you around for the rest of the day?

00:20:35.940 Absolutely.

00:20:36.440 Just for the day.

00:20:37.140 I just want to see what your life's like.

00:20:39.060 Is that all right?

00:20:39.720 I'm going to be here for the next 12 hours.

00:20:41.940 Do you think that you have any of that stuff?

00:20:44.320 Your mom's schizophrenic.

00:20:45.480 Is she really schizophrenic?

00:20:46.480 She really is.

00:20:47.100 They always say 30 is kind of like this point where it's safe, and I've always kind of taken

00:20:52.580 self-inventory, been like, am I fucking crazy right now?

00:20:55.300 But I think I'm cool.

00:20:56.280 I think I'm all right.

00:20:57.180 Yeah?

00:20:57.620 Yeah.

00:20:58.000 And now once you get through the 30s and you're safe of having the onset of it, or no?

00:21:04.320 That's all the literature says.

00:21:06.420 I mean, I'm sure there's anomalies that happen later 30s, but everybody says late 20s, you're

00:21:11.080 kind of safe.

00:21:12.300 What are signs?

00:21:13.700 I just want to know what signs are.

00:21:15.120 So if we see any in the next 30, 45 minutes in here, we could let you know.

00:21:18.860 Hearing voices.

00:21:20.520 Well, we heard that.

00:21:21.880 We're hearing two right now.

00:21:23.220 What if you're not even in a podcast?

00:21:24.820 Theo might be.

00:21:26.880 You're right.

00:21:27.800 I might not even be producing this podcast because it's also delusions of grandeur.

00:21:33.260 I'm sitting in a room with Michael Rosenbaum and Theo Vaughn right now.

00:21:36.000 I don't think so.

00:21:38.420 Is that anything like borderline personality schizophrenia?

00:21:42.820 You know what that is?

00:21:43.540 I'm not a psychologist.

00:21:44.380 Borderline personality disorder?

00:21:46.080 Uh-uh.

00:21:47.520 Uh-uh.

00:21:47.920 It'd be great to have a guest on that has it so we could talk about that, though.

00:21:50.900 You don't have any issues?

00:21:52.560 What do I have?

00:21:53.280 I think I'm probably a little bit on the autism thing somewhere, you know?

00:21:56.640 Outside of that, what else?

00:21:58.160 ADD?

00:21:59.480 Yeah.

00:22:00.000 I think I have attention deficit disorder.

00:22:01.980 I'm trying to think of what else outside of that, dude.

00:22:03.760 Depression?

00:22:04.660 Yeah.

00:22:05.060 Probably depression.

00:22:06.600 What else?

00:22:07.840 You said nothing, and we've already named three.

00:22:10.380 But those, to me, are blood, like, those are like-

00:22:12.800 They're blessings?

00:22:13.600 Well, they're just easy.

00:22:14.640 Those are, like, people have real fucking issues.

00:22:17.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:18.380 And also, America is like, it's almost like we get into this creature comfort.

00:22:22.660 Like, it's almost like having a disease has become, like, a creature comfort in a weird

00:22:28.320 way.

00:22:28.480 I think you're right, man.

00:22:29.580 It's, like, almost like, you know, and I feel like that, like, it's nice in a way that

00:22:33.260 everybody can express, like, hey, I have depression, or I have this, and that's a good

00:22:38.080 thing.

00:22:38.520 But I feel like, yeah, now we're seeing everybody's got something wrong.

00:22:41.520 Yeah, everybody's got it.

00:22:42.280 But isn't that warming?

00:22:44.100 Isn't that, like, kind of, like, a nice thing to-

00:22:46.640 Not that I want-wish people bad things.

00:22:48.500 But to know that everybody's got their shit, so it makes you feel like, hey, I'm not worse

00:22:53.340 than anybody.

00:22:54.100 Right.

00:22:54.460 Everybody's struggling.

00:22:55.460 Everybody's got their shit.

00:22:56.480 Right.

00:22:57.220 So that's good.

00:22:57.760 It's good to know that, hey, you have a little depression.

00:22:59.300 I have a little depression.

00:23:00.040 You have a little anxiety?

00:23:01.280 Yeah.

00:23:01.540 You get anxiety?

00:23:02.200 Oh, yeah.

00:23:02.480 You have anxiety attacks?

00:23:04.580 No, I used to get them more when I was younger.

00:23:06.100 I don't get them that much anymore.

00:23:07.620 Yeah.

00:23:08.160 You know?

00:23:08.740 But it's nice to know he has schizophrenia.

00:23:10.500 Yeah.

00:23:10.640 You know, you've got a little shit going on.

00:23:11.880 I got shit.

00:23:12.420 We're human.

00:23:13.540 Yeah, no, I think it's-

00:23:14.680 Look, I try to live in that space that, you know, I feel like the one place-

00:23:21.680 I feel like Hollywood's done a bad job of acting like people are human, you know?

00:23:26.300 It's like they create this idea that people aren't, and then they just use those elements

00:23:30.460 to, like, kind of sell stuff or to, you know, I don't know.

00:23:36.140 I feel like there's a lot of Hollywood celebrities who are kind of stuck in a way, like, they

00:23:40.560 miss, like, they got a- they're in this old world where they can't just be themselves.

00:23:45.200 Yeah.

00:23:45.500 And then there's, like, another generation that's just like, oh, I'm just being whatever

00:23:49.180 I want to be, that kind of is like- kind of like Instagrammers and YouTubers, those

00:23:53.640 people that are just kind of making their own way that don't really need Hollywood as

00:23:56.640 much, you know?

00:23:57.320 Right.

00:23:58.360 Anyway, that's one thing I just kind of noticed in the industry.

00:24:01.520 Yeah, but I think it's important, like, I mean, it's funny because, you know, you're coming

00:24:04.000 on my podcast.

00:24:05.080 Yeah.

00:24:05.420 And that's- I didn't even know what I was going to do with a podcast, but that's what

00:24:08.540 it turned into.

00:24:09.180 It became therapy for me, and then it became therapy for the guests, and then people were

00:24:13.020 listening going, hey, these people are talking about real shit, just like about anxiety and

00:24:16.900 all this stuff.

00:24:17.320 Yeah.

00:24:17.420 And I think that's what's, like, kind of- it's important to see, like, everybody's got their shit.

00:24:22.760 Yeah.

00:24:22.920 We all have our shit.

00:24:24.240 Oh, yeah, well, we're just broken, I mean-

00:24:26.120 We're all broken.

00:24:26.780 Yeah, we're not well, you know?

00:24:28.580 But I also think that I do believe, or I'm starting to believe, and I could be totally

00:24:33.100 wrong, is that it's like, there's this thing where you get so comfortable as a country.

00:24:39.520 Like, I was just in China the other day, this past week, and those people don't seem like

00:24:45.060 they're thinking about that kind of shit.

00:24:46.920 Everybody's doing stuff, everybody's cruising and moving forward.

00:24:49.740 It just seems like-

00:24:50.660 Everybody's in the past, they're fucking not- in China, they're ripping off the rearview

00:24:55.300 mirror and moving forward?

00:24:56.200 They're just- yeah.

00:24:57.200 And it seems like we're kind of, like, in this place where it's like, you can dawdle,

00:25:01.180 like, you can be taken care of by the gut.

00:25:03.300 Like, it's like, there's just so many, like, there's tele- there's, like, fibromyalgia, which

00:25:08.020 is- remember, it's a television disease that started in-

00:25:09.940 Is it not real?

00:25:10.780 You don't think that's real?

00:25:11.540 Yeah, man.

00:25:11.940 Fibromyalgia?

00:25:12.340 You don't think that's real?

00:25:14.860 What is it from?

00:25:16.160 Snake bites?

00:25:17.020 What the fuck is it from, dude?

00:25:19.140 I don't know.

00:25:19.740 Chronic fatigue?

00:25:20.820 Yeah, sure.

00:25:21.940 Bro, if you're fucking-

00:25:22.340 I'm always tired.

00:25:23.140 I got fibromyalgia.

00:25:24.300 Dude, look, if you've seen 600 episodes of fucking Price is Right, yeah, you're always

00:25:29.260 tired, motherfucker.

00:25:29.800 I've probably seen quite a few.

00:25:31.480 You know?

00:25:31.840 I'd like to buy a Z.

00:25:32.900 That's all you're doing.

00:25:33.920 Fucking get up and go.

00:25:34.920 That's not Price is Right.

00:25:35.580 That's Wheel of Fortune.

00:25:36.540 Yeah, but you know what I'm talking about, dude.

00:25:37.720 But I do know what you're talking about, and I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:25:41.380 That's so fucking true, man.

00:25:42.720 Dude.

00:25:43.140 I think that, you just nailed it, man.

00:25:44.780 And I hate to say it, because people are out there listening who have that.

00:25:47.420 I thought you were going to say there's people out there who are going, hey, people know

00:25:50.580 the difference between Price is Right and the Wheel of Fortune.

00:25:52.840 All right.

00:25:53.180 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:25:54.760 But I go, yeah, I like that idea, that moving forward, because I think, you know, my therapist

00:25:59.740 once said, he stood up in front of me with his genitals in front of my face.

00:26:04.240 Oh, wow.

00:26:04.660 Okay.

00:26:04.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:05.380 Not naked genitals.

00:26:06.540 Was it Studs off of Melrose?

00:26:09.220 It might have been.

00:26:10.100 It might have been.

00:26:10.860 It was the rage over in Santa Monica.

00:26:12.740 And he stood over him, and he goes, Michael, you've got one foot in the past.

00:26:17.400 You've got one foot in the future.

00:26:19.480 And he grabbed his genitals and goes, and you're pissing on the present.

00:26:22.820 Wow.

00:26:23.740 And I thought that was incredibly profound.

00:26:26.020 Sands the genitals in the face.

00:26:28.400 But I really felt like, you know, he's right.

00:26:30.680 It's so simple.

00:26:31.340 That's so simple.

00:26:33.100 Everybody's always worried about, oh, my God, Marcia.

00:26:35.960 She told people I was the bitch.

00:26:38.140 Yeah.

00:26:38.520 Or, oh, my God, your brother is an asshole.

00:26:41.780 He's like, 20 years ago, this happened.

00:26:44.620 Everybody's always thinking about all this shit.

00:26:46.660 Or, oh, my God, I just need money.

00:26:47.880 I just need this.

00:26:48.660 I need this to be happy.

00:26:49.780 And we all do it.

00:26:50.780 Yeah.

00:26:51.000 We need all these things that we don't have.

00:26:53.080 We're worried about the future.

00:26:54.360 What's the past?

00:26:55.760 The past is fucking me.

00:26:57.340 And if you just try, and there's a lot of shit right now going on with meditation.

00:27:02.600 And, by the way, it's great.

00:27:04.820 It's great.

00:27:05.480 Like, I never did.

00:27:06.200 I always looked down on it.

00:27:07.120 I was like, meditation?

00:27:08.020 Yeah.

00:27:08.200 What the fuck?

00:27:08.460 I don't need to meditate.

00:27:09.380 And I wake up, and I'm like, 15 minutes to just take my thoughts away.

00:27:12.300 All the other shit.

00:27:13.080 And just sort of be here.

00:27:15.100 Yeah.

00:27:15.660 And it's weird, and that shit, it does help.

00:27:18.460 It's hard to be present.

00:27:19.880 It's really hard to be present.

00:27:21.980 Yeah.

00:27:22.260 I think it's, you know, it's funny.

00:27:23.760 I was thinking about this last night.

00:27:24.820 Like, it's hard to be present.

00:27:25.840 Like, especially now, I think our phones are something that take us out of, you're still

00:27:29.980 present.

00:27:30.520 I was just going to say it.

00:27:31.180 But you're in, like, a different packet.

00:27:32.620 You know, it's kind of like you're, it's like you're being repurposed or repackaged or

00:27:37.280 your, yeah, your attention is being taken out of your presence.

00:27:41.500 So, it's like you're still present, but your attention is.

00:27:45.340 I don't know.

00:27:46.600 Yes.

00:27:47.160 Well, how about this?

00:27:48.020 How about how many times do you think that we're talking right now?

00:27:49.960 If we weren't on this, there'd be sort of a, I don't know, a propensity to just kind

00:27:55.220 of grab your phone.

00:27:56.180 Like, you know, you're with your girlfriend, or you're with your friend, you're like, yeah,

00:27:59.300 man.

00:27:59.660 So, how's work going?

00:28:00.860 It's all pretty good.

00:28:01.580 Oh, cool, man.

00:28:02.340 Yeah.

00:28:02.820 I'm glad you finally got a job.

00:28:04.560 That's so cool, Rob.

00:28:05.840 Yeah.

00:28:06.180 But, um.

00:28:06.940 Yeah.

00:28:07.320 And then you're on your phone.

00:28:08.620 It's almost like you're compelled to just, you're always thinking about, I got to get a check.

00:28:12.200 What do we have to check?

00:28:13.660 Like, what's the, we got an email five seconds later?

00:28:16.740 Yeah.

00:28:16.940 Somebody said I might miss something.

00:28:18.500 They're like, what if I miss, you know, what if something happens?

00:28:21.260 The reality is this.

00:28:22.920 What happened in the 80s and 90s?

00:28:25.740 Dude.

00:28:26.180 I miss that.

00:28:27.220 I really do.

00:28:27.900 I'm not knocking technology, but don't you just, I remember when my friend Danny cut

00:28:32.060 a call.

00:28:32.800 I still remember his number.

00:28:34.120 812-853-6464.

00:28:36.420 And you guys can call that, actually.

00:28:37.780 You can call it.

00:28:38.800 You can call it.

00:28:39.700 And ask for the late.

00:28:40.560 Shit, I shouldn't have given you that number.

00:28:41.720 He doesn't live there anymore.

00:28:42.540 He doesn't?

00:28:43.120 Four families later.

00:28:44.060 But you can still call and ask for Danny Cutter.

00:28:45.320 And then you can still ask for Daniel Cutter.

00:28:47.680 And say, is he there?

00:28:48.740 And they're going to like, he doesn't live here anymore.

00:28:49.960 And they're like, well, lucky he used to.

00:28:51.640 Yeah.

00:28:51.920 And say, if you see him, tell him to meet me at Newburgh Cinema at 8 p.m.

00:28:56.200 We're going to see Last of the Mohicans.

00:28:58.240 Yeah, we're going to see Pink Cadillac.

00:29:00.200 Yeah, dude.

00:29:00.780 We'll see you there.

00:29:01.320 And that's what we did.

00:29:02.460 And you just hoped he'd be there.

00:29:04.560 Yeah.

00:29:04.920 You thought, hey, Danny's going to meet me there at 8, and it's going to be all right.

00:29:08.140 Yeah.

00:29:08.440 And you have to check your text every 10 minutes to see if he's going to cancel.

00:29:11.600 Or he just showed up at Newburgh Civitan.

00:29:14.900 Right.

00:29:15.340 And then your attention was, you were excited about seeing him.

00:29:18.080 So it's like, your attention was like, oh, yeah, where's my buddy?

00:29:22.040 You're thinking about the movie.

00:29:23.700 You know, your attention and your focus are in those things.

00:29:26.600 Whereas, like, yeah, it's just like our focus gets taken away for a little bit.

00:29:29.860 That's the thing.

00:29:30.860 So it's like, you know, it's, I don't know.

00:29:35.540 Yeah, like, waters down.

00:29:37.880 It waters everything down in a weird way.

00:29:41.180 It's like, yeah, I know I'm going to see my sister.

00:29:43.080 But I've already talked to her five times this week.

00:29:46.420 Or I've already texted with her 20 times this week.

00:29:48.480 It's like, it's just not the same, you know?

00:29:51.120 Yeah.

00:29:51.440 Maybe there's something we can do.

00:29:54.300 Like, I do a thing where we're having breakfast or something with my friends.

00:29:58.100 And we're sitting there.

00:29:58.820 And I go, hey, everybody's cell phone in the middle.

00:30:01.180 Everybody put their cell phones in the middle.

00:30:03.000 If you want your cell phone, you're paying for breakfast.

00:30:05.600 If you grab your phone, you're paying for breakfast.

00:30:07.600 Let's all have an hour where we just sit here and talk to each other.

00:30:10.300 Yeah.

00:30:10.660 And I think that's, you know, that's just.

00:30:13.740 I could see that.

00:30:14.780 I'd eat breakfast with you probably in silence sometime.

00:30:17.380 You do?

00:30:18.080 Oh, you have to talk still?

00:30:20.620 You would.

00:30:21.340 You're like, wait, does that mean I have to talk to you?

00:30:23.180 Oh, my gosh.

00:30:23.840 Fuck!

00:30:25.820 Yeah, you don't have to.

00:30:26.820 But as long as you're present, as long as you're just looking, eating your food,

00:30:30.080 and you're there, and you're not distracted by anything other than the food.

00:30:33.520 But that's okay.

00:30:34.480 That's all deal with that.

00:30:35.540 If Theo just wants to have his food, what's wrong with that?

00:30:39.260 Um, I was thinking the other day, I was thinking yesterday, man.

00:30:43.880 So, you know, we all have family members that have passed away or whatever.

00:30:47.220 My dad passed away when I was kind of young, maybe 16, not super young.

00:30:50.300 But I was thinking yesterday, I was like, man, I would, it'd be nice to see my dad, right?

00:30:55.220 To spend time with him.

00:30:56.100 But then I started thinking, but how long would I hang out with my dad before I'd be like, man, dad, I'm going to go do something.

00:31:03.360 I'm going to play any birds.

00:31:04.660 Yeah.

00:31:05.280 I'm going to go fucking, like, how long before you hanging out with somebody you haven't seen your whole life you would give anything to see to spend time with?

00:31:14.900 And then you saw them.

00:31:15.940 And then how long till you fucking peek at your phone?

00:31:17.840 You know what I'm saying?

00:31:18.640 How long?

00:31:19.580 Hey, this is so great.

00:31:20.940 Hey, I'm so glad you're alive.

00:31:23.320 I just want to check the Dow real quick.

00:31:25.940 Oh, my God.

00:31:26.700 We're down 40.

00:31:28.220 I'm going to call my business manager real quick.

00:31:30.140 Yeah.

00:31:30.760 Yeah, you know what?

00:31:31.920 It's crazy, but it's crazy to think.

00:31:33.600 That's a crazy thought because you think, oh, my God, I'd spend every waking hour for the next 20 years.

00:31:38.260 Right.

00:31:38.460 But no, you wouldn't.

00:31:39.880 And the reality is, too, is I don't see my family that much.

00:31:42.300 I see my mom.

00:31:42.940 She lives in Indiana.

00:31:43.640 I see her once a year for a couple days.

00:31:46.060 I see my dad maybe once or twice a year.

00:31:47.980 He lives in New York.

00:31:48.940 I don't see my family very often.

00:31:50.940 And, you know, the great thing about technology, the opposite of what we were just talking about, is I can FaceTime and see my grandfather, see my grandmother, see everybody.

00:32:00.540 So that is pretty – so now –

00:32:02.280 That's significant.

00:32:03.340 It is.

00:32:03.840 That is significant.

00:32:04.780 But maybe if I didn't have it, I'd say, I have to go visit them.

00:32:07.260 I have to see them.

00:32:08.420 Right.

00:32:08.600 Maybe I'd go see them more, but maybe this is a cop-out.

00:32:10.700 It's like, oh, but I'm seeing them.

00:32:12.100 Right.

00:32:12.340 I'm seeing them on this phone here.

00:32:14.300 So maybe – I don't know, man.

00:32:16.240 Right.

00:32:16.460 So I wonder if we're going to start to evolve into – like you're saying it right now, I have to see them.

00:32:20.940 Right.

00:32:21.620 I wonder if that – there's going to be some new turn of phrase or something that's going to be actually – that I have to actually spend – you know, like it – you know.

00:32:31.940 Yeah.

00:32:32.100 Because it used to be, I can't wait to see my grandparents.

00:32:34.540 But now visually you get that.

00:32:36.100 Like that's been appeased, you know.

00:32:37.640 Yeah.

00:32:37.820 So it's like then what is it going – like –

00:32:40.220 Virtual reality touching my grandparents.

00:32:42.600 Right.

00:32:42.980 Or is it going to be that –

00:32:44.160 Do you feel that, Grandma?

00:32:45.160 Yeah.

00:32:45.480 Yeah.

00:32:45.760 I feel that.

00:32:46.860 She's like, oh.

00:32:48.160 What was that?

00:32:48.960 That's warm.

00:32:49.780 Yeah.

00:32:50.300 And she comes and you're like –

00:32:51.540 Oh, wow, man.

00:32:52.720 I hope my grandma doesn't.

00:32:53.600 Do grandma still come?

00:32:55.080 Bro, this is – we're going to take this part out.

00:32:57.440 We have a lot of –

00:32:58.100 You started.

00:32:58.940 I just was wondering if grandma's come.

00:33:00.440 I don't even think about it.

00:33:00.880 Yeah, but you kept it going.

00:33:01.680 I can understand a guy says something every now and then, you know.

00:33:04.300 I didn't – I just said – I just wanted it as a question.

00:33:06.440 I just like to be educated.

00:33:07.560 There's no stupid questions.

00:33:08.980 Look, I understand somebody throws a grenade into a fucking – into a busy family dinner, you know.

00:33:14.540 But you throw it back.

00:33:15.500 What's wrong with that?

00:33:16.360 No, but the guy who picks it up and like shows it to everybody in the dinner.

00:33:19.620 Is that what I did?

00:33:20.360 Yeah.

00:33:20.580 So everybody's looking at it when it blows up.

00:33:22.320 That's fucked up.

00:33:22.940 So I showed that cum grenade to everybody at dinner is what I did.

00:33:28.580 I don't know, man.

00:33:30.320 All right.

00:33:30.740 I'll stop that.

00:33:31.420 I don't want to think about my grandma Blanche coming either.

00:33:33.720 Dude, you're starting to look definitely better than when you walked in.

00:33:36.540 Really?

00:33:36.960 Yeah.

00:33:37.240 Yeah, I didn't – I was asleep.

00:33:38.580 You know, I really – I was really – I'm bummed.

00:33:40.280 If I looked like shit in the beginning, I apologize, and I appreciate your honesty, Theo.

00:33:44.080 Yeah.

00:33:44.180 But I didn't know cameras.

00:33:45.960 You know, I think Gianni, he did – we play hockey together on Monday night.

00:33:48.700 Yeah, you told me that.

00:33:49.340 And I just – and I forgot.

00:33:51.620 I don't read things that well.

00:33:53.160 I have ADD, and I didn't know there were cameras.

00:33:55.360 But I'm okay.

00:33:56.260 I think your audience is probably cool like this.

00:33:58.460 I'm just shorts and a shirt.

00:34:00.180 I'm not going to wear a suit or anything.

00:34:01.860 I'm not a fancy pants.

00:34:03.280 Well, some people, I think, were also thinking we'd come in as a little bit more of like

00:34:06.720 your superhero attire.

00:34:08.260 And also – but Lex Luthor's not a superhero.

00:34:11.880 He's a supervillain.

00:34:13.060 He's a supervillain.

00:34:13.660 Although, yeah, some people call him like the antihero.

00:34:17.300 I don't know.

00:34:18.040 Do you think he had the ability to – and for some of our listeners that don't know,

00:34:23.960 Michael played Lex Luthor on Smallville, right, for –

00:34:27.020 Seven years, man.

00:34:27.420 Seven years.

00:34:27.860 That's a long haul.

00:34:28.720 Yeah, it was a long haul.

00:34:30.100 And do you start to feel as like – so as an actor and as a – like having a character,

00:34:38.060 do you – is there a certain point like after a certain number of seasons or episodes or

00:34:43.600 maybe it's immediate that the character actually starts to feel more like yours and you're

00:34:48.460 able to do some things?

00:34:50.180 Yeah.

00:34:50.600 You know what's weird is it was like – I was always like funny guy and doing – you

00:34:55.660 know, I was doing some comedies at the time.

00:34:57.260 I did with your buddy Harlan Williams.

00:34:58.920 I love Harlan.

00:34:59.280 I was taking a hike with Tom Green and Harlan a couple of weeks ago.

00:35:04.200 And they just randomly go, Theo Vaughn, man, is fucking funny.

00:35:07.460 Have you seen his – and Tom's like, yeah, man.

00:35:09.360 And they start talking about him.

00:35:10.240 You're like, yeah, he's a good guy.

00:35:11.680 I just had dinner with him at Bobby Lee's birthday party in the middle of nowhere.

00:35:14.720 Yeah.

00:35:15.240 Harlan's so nice.

00:35:15.900 I don't know Tom as well, but –

00:35:17.280 Yeah, but they think the world –

00:35:18.360 But Tom's Canadian, though.

00:35:19.460 And Canadians are so nice.

00:35:20.860 Yeah, all of them.

00:35:22.620 I think all of them are nice.

00:35:23.840 Well, how did they do it?

00:35:25.660 And living right next to us.

00:35:27.260 Yeah.

00:35:27.740 That's weird.

00:35:28.380 In the cold.

00:35:28.560 In the cold, man.

00:35:30.600 What was I saying?

00:35:31.640 Bro, my – I wake up in my ACs two degrees too low.

00:35:34.740 I'm fucking furious, dude.

00:35:35.620 What do you keep it on to sleep?

00:35:37.900 I'm at 69.

00:35:39.260 Are you?

00:35:39.900 And I didn't say that to be funny.

00:35:41.340 But you're also Lex Luthor.

00:35:43.020 Oh, yeah, Lex Luthor, yeah.

00:35:44.260 Oh, not so proud.

00:35:44.700 Oh, so anyway, yeah, the Lex Luthor thing.

00:35:46.600 You know, I was always doing funny stuff.

00:35:47.860 So when I got this role, I was like, they're going to fire me.

00:35:49.460 There's no way I'm going to play this serious role.

00:35:50.860 My friends were like, they cast you as this?

00:35:52.820 And they shaved my head.

00:35:54.100 And then I started wearing these suits.

00:35:55.480 And I don't – you know, and it was just –

00:35:57.960 Did you think it could really be you in the beginning?

00:36:00.280 Like, were you on – like, because sometimes you get cast as something.

00:36:03.700 You're like, oh, this is – I can do this.

00:36:06.080 And then sometimes you're like, maybe they see this.

00:36:09.100 Maybe they see something that I don't fully see yet.

00:36:11.340 Like, was there any of that or what was it?

00:36:12.800 I was nervous.

00:36:13.600 I had a lot of confidence.

00:36:14.760 I gave the best audition of my life.

00:36:16.600 They asked me.

00:36:17.280 They go, hey, be serious here.

00:36:18.440 Be dangerous here.

00:36:19.200 Be funny here.

00:36:20.040 Because there's 700 other guys auditioned for it.

00:36:22.440 And I go, what did 700 other guys do that you want – didn't do that you want me to do?

00:36:27.500 And they said, well, just be dangerous.

00:36:28.760 So I remember we had three pages of dialogue.

00:36:30.740 And I've told this story.

00:36:31.480 But I circled be charismatic here.

00:36:33.920 Be dangerous here.

00:36:35.280 Be funny here.

00:36:36.420 And on three pages, I chose to do that.

00:36:38.340 I made distinct decisions.

00:36:40.520 I differentiated whatever.

00:36:41.540 And I just did it.

00:36:42.960 And I had a lot of confidence because I really at first didn't want it.

00:36:45.660 And I was like, what is this?

00:36:46.680 I'm not going to get – I just wanted – I could be insecure as fuck.

00:36:50.240 I could be – I could not have the confidence.

00:36:54.960 And I did that day.

00:36:57.300 And so when they cast me, I was like, they're going to fire me.

00:37:00.140 This isn't me.

00:37:00.580 I can't play this villain.

00:37:02.100 I can't – and they shaved my head.

00:37:03.840 And I looked in the mirror and I go, oh, you look different.

00:37:05.780 You look a little weirder.

00:37:06.920 Not that bald people are real.

00:37:08.120 But I looked weird.

00:37:09.060 I looked a little –

00:37:09.860 I had this matrix bump on the back of my head, which I still have, occipital bone.

00:37:13.640 And I just looked different.

00:37:14.520 And that helped me transform.

00:37:15.940 Then they put Armani suits on me.

00:37:17.300 Look at me.

00:37:17.660 I wear T-shirts and sweats.

00:37:19.500 And that was a problem too when I went out with women.

00:37:22.380 I think they thought they were dating Lex Luthor and they were dating Lex Loser.

00:37:26.620 I didn't have a suit.

00:37:27.760 I have a conversion van in the front.

00:37:30.160 I just wasn't – I wasn't like as cool and smart as they thought this character was.

00:37:35.020 Yeah, Sammy Luthor.

00:37:36.120 They got Sammy Luthor.

00:37:36.540 Sam Luthor.

00:37:37.420 Yeah.

00:37:37.780 But I just – I fell into it.

00:37:39.860 I got comfortable in the dialogue and they let me start to be myself in a way, a heightened version, darker version.

00:37:47.020 And did that start to grow over time?

00:37:48.860 Like did you start to – because I know sometimes in the beginning of things they just – you know, they want to get things established.

00:37:54.740 Like even just as like – you know, but were you able – as a character – are you able to like create the character more as time goes on and you know like what little bounds and things that that character can do on screen that are still going to come off?

00:38:08.140 Yeah.

00:38:08.560 The biggest fight for me was they were – you know, it's like when is he going to become evil?

00:38:12.320 I can't become evil but I can have moments and I can have like little nuances and things like that that you could say, oh, there is that dark side.

00:38:19.220 There is that.

00:38:20.220 So it was me just trying to keep it in check because I knew I had six or seven seasons to do it in if the show was going to be successful.

00:38:25.620 Wow.

00:38:25.800 And if I started twirling the mustache like ha-ha, then I was fucked.

00:38:29.580 Right.

00:38:29.780 I was like, okay, he's evil.

00:38:30.980 Right.

00:38:31.120 But so it was one of those things like I'd call the guys and I'd say, hey – and they were great and collaborative.

00:38:35.580 We were trying to work on something now together.

00:38:37.340 Alan Miles who created Smallville and Badlands, Into the Badlands, a bunch of shit.

00:38:40.920 Oh, yeah.

00:38:41.340 Yeah, they were awesome.

00:38:42.020 And they were just like – I was like, hey, isn't this a little too menacing?

00:38:45.660 He's like, you know what?

00:38:46.480 We wrote it but we know you're going to play a little against that.

00:38:49.600 Always fight things.

00:38:50.680 So the best thing to do when you're playing a villain or you're playing a – and I don't know if a lot of people do this but the secret is play the opposite.

00:38:58.860 If it's so dark, if you play the opposite, it's still going to be dark but it's like you're not playing into the darkness.

00:39:04.700 Right.

00:39:05.040 Now the darkness is like a subtlety of yours.

00:39:07.300 It becomes subtle.

00:39:08.220 So people will say, oh, when he did that with his eye, that was actually a twitch.

00:39:11.420 Right, that's when the darkness really comes through.

00:39:13.360 Yeah, and so it was fun.

00:39:15.160 But I'm like ADD like you.

00:39:16.560 I kind of got like – after season one, I'm like, okay, I did this.

00:39:19.080 What's the next project?

00:39:19.960 But I was like, well, you've got six years left, buddy.

00:39:21.980 But it evolved and the character became kind of fun.

00:39:26.140 And then it let me sort of bounce around ideas.

00:39:28.500 And there's episodes where, hey, I knew I get to freak out in this episode because something happened so I could play this dark Lex.

00:39:35.180 So freaking out and being maniacal, I can't – you know, Wes Craven once told me it was the best –

00:39:45.120 Wes Craven, the murder man, the mystery, murder mystery man?

00:39:47.640 Well, he's director, Nightmare on Elm Street.

00:39:50.000 Yeah.

00:39:50.160 The mystery murder man.

00:39:51.520 Well, but he's one of my favorites.

00:39:53.840 And I worked with him.

00:39:54.440 And he just said – he said to me, you know what, you're going to play an amazing, I don't know, psycho, killer, likable murderer.

00:40:03.300 And I go, what?

00:40:05.100 He's like, no, this is a good thing in your career.

00:40:07.300 And I go, well, Lex Luthor.

00:40:08.340 He goes, no, no, no, there's something else that's going to happen because you – and it was just a compliment.

00:40:12.220 I just love Wes Craven.

00:40:13.300 He's my hero.

00:40:14.020 And this was before your Lex Luthor character.

00:40:15.760 No, this was as I was doing Lex Luthor.

00:40:17.580 Oh.

00:40:17.960 So this was something else.

00:40:19.080 But I was like, I like to go a little nuts.

00:40:21.640 You know, in life, you can't really go nuts because people think you're nuts.

00:40:25.260 But if you can go nuts on screen and take all that shit that bothers you or that fucked up stuff as a child, like, you know, things that I resented or things that I remembered and channel it through emotion.

00:40:36.060 Like, that's – I don't know if it's fun, but it's cathartic and it's real.

00:40:40.520 And I noticed that when I would do it, it would get a rise out of people.

00:40:44.280 I could see the creators and the show and the people and the fans would be like, oh, my –

00:40:48.320 And I was like, oh, because I didn't know freaking out on screen would – does it look real?

00:40:52.860 Do I look menacing?

00:40:53.760 I'm kind of a pussy in real life maybe?

00:40:55.540 I don't know.

00:40:55.940 Am I tough enough?

00:40:56.620 Like, how does this come off?

00:40:57.540 Yeah.

00:40:57.760 How does this come off?

00:40:58.800 But you just trusted it and just went – you know, so when the dialogue was there and you start to see me freaking out in the early seasons and certain episodes wearing a straight jacket and going – and just going for it.

00:41:07.660 Yeah.

00:41:07.820 I just went for it.

00:41:08.780 And I think that's something when you're younger too.

00:41:10.200 I was 27, 28, 29.

00:41:11.520 And I talk about this in my podcast.

00:41:13.960 It's like, you know, that ambition that I want to do anything.

00:41:17.280 I just want to – you know.

00:41:18.160 And then you get older and you start to – I don't know if you lose that, that drive, that motivation.

00:41:22.880 But back then I was just like unstoppable.

00:41:25.440 I felt like I – fuck it, man.

00:41:27.120 I'm young.

00:41:28.220 And do you ever feel like when you get older you just – you lose that a little bit?

00:41:32.220 That fire?

00:41:34.240 Yeah.

00:41:34.620 I mean, I think I – you definitely lose – what do I lose?

00:41:38.320 That's a good question.

00:41:39.180 As I get older, what do I feel like I lose?

00:41:40.840 I feel like you're just at the beginning.

00:41:42.380 Like you're really blowing up.

00:41:43.520 So it's different with you.

00:41:44.460 Maybe you like –

00:41:45.880 I've always been a late bloomer.

00:41:47.640 Really?

00:41:47.900 Me too.

00:41:48.500 Yeah.

00:41:48.840 Did you have hair on your balls in high school?

00:41:51.920 I probably had a little.

00:41:53.360 I didn't have much until like my junior year.

00:41:55.400 Nick?

00:41:55.740 Really?

00:41:57.520 I was pretty late.

00:41:58.780 I don't know.

00:41:59.080 Like eighth grade.

00:42:00.920 I mean, obviously.

00:42:01.700 Premature late?

00:42:02.740 Mm-hmm.

00:42:03.420 Yeah.

00:42:03.820 Yeah.

00:42:06.220 Sorry to go to the ball hair.

00:42:07.820 No.

00:42:08.480 And then grandma come.

00:42:09.360 I think it's interesting, man.

00:42:10.200 Like it's tough these days to like – I think as I get older, what do I notice that's different?

00:42:14.960 That's a great question.

00:42:15.760 What do I notice that's different about like my like fervor, like my vitality or things that I would do differently in my 20s that I wouldn't do in my 30s?

00:42:26.000 Because I don't know.

00:42:29.160 I felt like I was so much more like insecure probably in my 20s and even like in my early 30s.

00:42:38.480 So I feel like more like I'll – I'm a little more in touch with who I am now, I guess.

00:42:44.740 So yeah, I guess I wouldn't do as much errant stuff, you know?

00:42:47.540 Like I wouldn't just throw caution to the wind and do something kind of crazy.

00:42:51.100 Yeah.

00:42:51.420 Like dude, I remember one time, bro, like they're like, you need to sing in this audition.

00:42:55.340 And I'm like, I can't even sing, you know?

00:42:57.520 I can't sing if we weren't in an audition right now, you know what I'm saying?

00:43:00.420 You don't sing in the shower?

00:43:01.220 You don't sing in the car?

00:43:02.180 I mean, I do a couple of fucking bars, bro, but I ain't doing – I'm not faking it through a whole song just to fucking make it through a moment of conditioner, you know what I'm saying?

00:43:12.000 Like I'm not a fucking psychopath, you know?

00:43:15.280 So what I – I remember watching – what was it?

00:43:21.020 Oh, Shirley Temple when I was young, right?

00:43:23.820 On the Good Ship Lollipop.

00:43:25.200 I was like, that's a song I can pull off for these people.

00:43:27.820 I had just gotten out to LA.

00:43:29.280 I was like, Shirley Temple, Hollywood legend, you know?

00:43:32.080 They're going to love this.

00:43:32.980 That's what I was thinking, dude.

00:43:34.060 You know?

00:43:35.020 I'm going to curl my hair a little bit.

00:43:36.800 That was horrible, bro.

00:43:38.780 So I was sitting there, and I can still remember their faces, dude.

00:43:42.920 They thought it was a joke, you know?

00:43:44.860 It was.

00:43:45.480 And I was like, on a sunny beach in Peppermint Bay, you know?

00:43:51.980 And you were serious.

00:43:53.380 Yeah.

00:43:53.620 Then I stopped, and then I'm like, Cracker Jack, man.

00:43:56.840 It's like I had a whole – I went second stanza, you know what I'm saying?

00:44:00.360 And shook them.

00:44:01.140 I remember the assistant lady just like had to straighten her neck out.

00:44:04.840 She didn't know I was going to go fucking second stanza.

00:44:07.800 That fucking lame bitch.

00:44:10.040 Wherever she is out there, dude.

00:44:11.060 And then it was a thank you, Theo.

00:44:12.540 Yeah, she was sitting there judging me the whole time.

00:44:14.300 You were a fucking assistant.

00:44:15.420 You're not even doing anything of your own.

00:44:16.940 You're fucking – you didn't take a chance.

00:44:18.220 You didn't sing Shirley Temple in the middle of fucking these idiots.

00:44:20.420 You're a fucking Muppet, bro.

00:44:21.800 Chance-less cunt.

00:44:22.480 I'll choke out all your fucking cousins, bro.

00:44:24.460 You feel me?

00:44:24.640 I threw a cum bomb on your family's dinner.

00:44:26.620 Oh, sorry.

00:44:28.880 Sorry, I did it again.

00:44:30.960 This guy is tossing dirty grenades into the fucking – into the fruit salad.

00:44:35.200 But, yeah, I think that's one thing.

00:44:38.940 Like, I think, like, then I would do that and I have any thoughts.

00:44:42.400 Like, now I'd be like, no way would I do that.

00:44:44.200 So maybe do you – like, you know more stuff and you wouldn't do – yeah, it's like you have more frame of reference, I think.

00:44:50.940 You know your strengths now.

00:44:52.580 You're like, I'm not going to do that because, A, I can't sing.

00:44:55.080 B, I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of this chanceless twat.

00:44:57.820 Right.

00:44:58.140 And, C, fuck off.

00:45:01.440 Yeah.

00:45:01.700 You know, I'm just not going to – I can understand that.

00:45:03.820 But I kind of miss that sort of blind ambition that sort of – you know, I do.

00:45:08.780 I do miss that, you know, that just sort of, like, fear I think still gets in the way and when fear didn't get in the way then.

00:45:14.640 I mean, we all have a little fear.

00:45:16.880 But, you know, I'm working on that.

00:45:18.700 I'm working on not giving a shit more and I think that's, like, just being in touch with myself a little more and sort of saying, hey, what do you want?

00:45:24.960 What do you want in life?

00:45:26.660 What is it you want?

00:45:27.440 I mean, you've been doing this.

00:45:28.540 You've been acting.

00:45:29.420 People are like, hey, what's next?

00:45:30.620 What are you doing?

00:45:31.280 That's the question in L.A.

00:45:32.560 Hey, what are you up to?

00:45:33.940 Right.

00:45:34.080 You always feel compelled to be like, oh, I got a special.

00:45:36.760 I got this movie coming out.

00:45:38.060 I'm writing this script.

00:45:39.240 I'm writing, doing this.

00:45:40.180 You need to tell people.

00:45:41.540 You feel compelled to tell everybody what you're doing so they think you're something.

00:45:45.100 So it gives you the feeling of I'm somebody.

00:45:48.300 Yeah.

00:45:48.400 And I don't like that.

00:45:50.220 I'm not doing that.

00:45:51.080 Yeah.

00:45:51.640 So when people ask me what I'm doing, sometimes I'm like, not a goddamn thing.

00:45:56.020 Yeah.

00:45:56.240 I'm doing my podcast, playing in my band, just having some fun.

00:46:00.600 Yeah.

00:46:00.700 You have a band.

00:46:01.160 You guys are on tour, someone said, right?

00:46:03.180 Well.

00:46:03.620 You guys are doing dates around the country.

00:46:06.200 Well, we were called Shit Sandwich.

00:46:09.220 Right now we're called The Sandwich.

00:46:10.300 It was just a joke.

00:46:11.340 We were in my basement and we were just like, my bass player didn't, Carl.

00:46:15.280 He's on Ballers.

00:46:16.200 Carl Weathers?

00:46:16.740 No, not Carl Weathers, but he is African-American, Carl.

00:46:19.900 Is he really?

00:46:20.500 Yep.

00:46:21.500 Like Weathers.

00:46:22.960 Is Carl Weathers a real person?

00:46:24.620 Carl Weathers is.

00:46:25.600 He was Apollo Creed in the Rocky movies.

00:46:29.400 He's a big deal.

00:46:30.240 Yeah, he's a big deal.

00:46:31.520 But Carl never played bass.

00:46:33.140 He learned to play bass.

00:46:34.140 Kent was playing drums.

00:46:35.160 Never really played drums.

00:46:36.480 I was like, who's going to sing?

00:46:37.640 And they're like, you.

00:46:38.200 I'm like, I'm not a great singer.

00:46:39.640 So I said, fuck it.

00:46:40.440 So I started writing my own songs.

00:46:41.820 Wow.

00:46:42.020 I started playing.

00:46:42.600 And my friend goes, open up for us at the Troubadour.

00:46:45.040 I'm like, what?

00:46:46.720 He goes, do it.

00:46:47.320 I've never been more scared.

00:46:48.800 So I got up.

00:46:49.480 We did three songs, the originals.

00:46:51.060 Then he goes, come to Germany.

00:46:52.360 Open for me.

00:46:53.040 So they paid for our shit.

00:46:54.080 You went to Germany?

00:46:54.900 Germany last year.

00:46:55.540 Going to Germany this year.

00:46:56.380 I'm playing in the Love Street Festival here in Hollywood.

00:46:59.720 I mean, I just write my own shit.

00:47:01.520 And it's not complex.

00:47:03.260 It's not Radiohead.

00:47:04.340 It's not like, but it's like 70s Southern rock meets like Gin Blossoms,

00:47:07.940 Wallflowers, 90s throwback story.

00:47:10.220 But we play our own shit.

00:47:11.420 And I love it.

00:47:12.020 I love it.

00:47:12.780 And I, you know, it's just fulfilling.

00:47:16.780 Yeah.

00:47:17.060 Whether people love it or not, I really enjoy it.

00:47:20.860 And so like, well, like certainly like obviously with having some success,

00:47:24.660 there's something that happens as you start to get like a confidence that comes

00:47:28.160 once you start to have some success in your work world, right?

00:47:31.820 And I think it's probably in any work world.

00:47:34.880 But it's like, you know, would you have got into the band like, you know, 10 years ago?

00:47:41.160 Would you have, you know, it's like you start to get a little bit more comfortability once

00:47:45.420 obviously you have a little bit of enough money you can pay your rent.

00:47:47.940 You know what I'm saying?

00:47:48.260 And some of those fixed costs are kind of taken care of.

00:47:52.340 Yeah.

00:47:52.520 I did that with, you know, sort of bucket list shit.

00:47:54.960 And I was like, you know what?

00:47:56.100 I've always wanted to be a singer.

00:47:57.160 I've always wanted, or not a singer, but I always wanted to write songs and perform them.

00:48:00.640 I always wanted to do stand-up comedy.

00:48:01.940 And Harlan was like, dude, open for me, bud.

00:48:04.320 Yeah.

00:48:04.540 You can open for me, pal.

00:48:05.620 I'm like, no, yeah, 2,000 people, Oxnard.

00:48:09.040 No one's going to give a fuck.

00:48:10.440 Get up there.

00:48:10.880 Give eight minutes.

00:48:11.980 And I got up there and I fucking did it and I fell in love with it.

00:48:14.880 And then Bobby Lee's like, you're opening for me in here.

00:48:17.180 And all of a sudden I started, did I saw you?

00:48:18.740 You were going up.

00:48:19.400 And I had never done it.

00:48:20.600 So I was going up with these big fuckers like you and Rogan and Bobby Lee and Swartzen

00:48:25.520 and Harlan.

00:48:26.020 And I was, I'm telling you, acting and all this shit I've done, never been more fucked up nervous.

00:48:32.860 Like, and the reality is I should have been thinking, dude, you just started this.

00:48:38.140 Go out there and bomb, have fun, not be so hard on yourself.

00:48:41.740 You can't be as good as these guys.

00:48:43.420 Right.

00:48:43.560 You're not going to be great.

00:48:45.200 And I didn't.

00:48:46.320 I was so fixated on just, I got to make someone, I got to, I got to kill it.

00:48:51.580 And I put so much pressure on myself that I think it drove me fucking crazy.

00:48:56.580 Wow.

00:48:56.860 For six months, it drove me crazy where I was just like, at the end of last year, I was

00:49:00.540 just exhausted.

00:49:01.380 I was just like, I got to take some months off.

00:49:03.200 And just like, between the music and that and writing, I was just like, I'm too hard

00:49:06.560 on myself.

00:49:06.920 I got to give my body a break.

00:49:08.600 Wow.

00:49:08.840 I think that stems from childhood too, is just being too hard on yourself.

00:49:12.200 You're not good enough, insatiable.

00:49:14.100 Did you ever have to deal with that?

00:49:15.740 Yeah.

00:49:16.080 I think I had to deal with that kind of stuff.

00:49:17.600 You know, I mean, I think a lot of it was just, I would get so nervous.

00:49:20.780 Everything would make me so nervous forever.

00:49:22.860 How'd you get over that?

00:49:23.740 I think a lot of just a repetition over time.

00:49:27.560 And then I just, uh, I think having some successes starts to make me feel less nervous

00:49:34.720 overall.

00:49:35.560 Like starting to like, just realizing, okay, like I can do one thing.

00:49:40.520 Like there's one thing I can do.

00:49:41.920 Okay.

00:49:42.080 I can do, you know, standup comedy.

00:49:44.180 I can do it.

00:49:45.380 So then I start to live a little bit differently in my body.

00:49:48.500 Like, oh, I know at least there's one thing that I know I can do.

00:49:51.900 So then it's like, like, I don't know.

00:49:55.700 I'd never had the feeling before of like something that I could do, you know, that I was able to

00:50:00.040 really do and like felt like I really could do it.

00:50:03.960 And so then I guess it's some of the, then that starts to live in you differently.

00:50:07.840 Like, oh, I can do something, you know?

00:50:11.200 And then, um, then I would go into other things and at least then I would know, okay,

00:50:16.160 there'll be a point with this where I'll know that I can do it, you know?

00:50:20.800 Um, and then, but also you slowly get, start to get used to a little bit of what it feels

00:50:24.580 like to be, to have some confidence.

00:50:26.640 And so I guess some of that, you know, success helps that too.

00:50:30.920 You're right.

00:50:31.220 It's like, I don't know.

00:50:33.960 I'm a complicated, I mean, we're all complicated.

00:50:36.200 Well, do people look at, well, it's just a question of with success.

00:50:39.240 Do people start to look at you differently if you have a success behind you, right?

00:50:44.780 I think they do.

00:50:45.760 I remember like whenever we first got out here to Los Angeles, like Owen Benjamin is a comedian.

00:50:50.980 Nick Thune is a comedian.

00:50:52.620 They hit like the big time, like right out of the gate.

00:50:55.680 Like they were just like rocket launched into like, they were the next thing, right?

00:50:59.340 Like MySpace had just come out and I think there was these rumors.

00:51:03.100 I don't know if this is true.

00:51:04.280 I, some of it is true, but I don't know how much of it is that they each got like a half

00:51:09.960 a million dollars from like MySpace or Comedy Central to, to make like a, some web series

00:51:16.000 and stuff like that.

00:51:17.100 And so everybody was like, holy shit.

00:51:19.780 Like that was half a million dollars, like 12 years ago, you know, it was like, it was

00:51:24.620 like a million thousand.

00:51:25.620 Yeah.

00:51:26.020 Yeah.

00:51:26.200 It was like 800,000.

00:51:27.340 Yeah.

00:51:27.920 So, um, so everybody was like, holy shit, these, you know, these guys, you know, this

00:51:33.820 is the thing.

00:51:34.400 This is it.

00:51:35.000 They're it, you know?

00:51:36.480 Um, fuck.

00:51:37.140 I don't remember what we were talking about.

00:51:38.140 Well, how'd that make you feel?

00:51:39.460 I mean, was that like something, what were we talking about, Nick?

00:51:41.780 Uh, you hadn't achieved confidence yet.

00:51:43.560 Cause you haven't had success.

00:51:44.660 Right.

00:51:44.860 Oh, so everybody looked at them.

00:51:46.480 Thank you, Nick.

00:51:47.140 So everybody looked at them like suddenly you're like, oh, these guys know what they're doing.

00:51:52.060 Um, you know, but isn't that a scary feeling when someone you think everybody knows what

00:51:56.100 you're doing?

00:51:56.660 Like I have a weird, there's a weird psychology.

00:51:58.420 Oh, I agree.

00:51:59.120 It is.

00:51:59.520 I'm just saying, but it's, but it's interesting to me now looking back, like, did they know

00:52:04.420 what they were doing?

00:52:05.640 Probably not any more than anyone else.

00:52:07.360 Now, do they start to feel like they know what they're doing?

00:52:10.380 It would be ridiculous if they didn't feel that way because whatever they're doing is

00:52:16.340 showing, um, is, is having a return, you know, they're achieving.

00:52:21.380 That's a mind fuck.

00:52:22.380 What you just said, is it, it's kind of a mind fuck, but yeah, in a good way, like,

00:52:26.900 yes, it's, I understand it.

00:52:28.320 Right.

00:52:28.420 It's a weird place to be in.

00:52:29.720 So they probably, so then they start to feel more confident because when they walk in a

00:52:33.760 room, people look at them like, you know, it's like, these guys know what's funny.

00:52:40.100 They know what they're doing.

00:52:41.220 Yeah.

00:52:41.560 They know what's scary is all of a sudden you're out of the loop.

00:52:44.320 Right.

00:52:44.680 And you're like, what did we do wrong?

00:52:46.260 How do we get that?

00:52:47.220 Now we're not confident about our stuff.

00:52:48.820 We've got to get, find something that makes us confident.

00:52:50.780 So people look at them, like, and it's just like, there's this, they're uncertain.

00:52:55.820 They're unable.

00:52:56.420 They messed up.

00:52:57.840 And so, yeah.

00:52:58.700 So then in the end, and that's a lot of that might just be Hollywood.

00:53:02.040 I don't know if that's like that in other businesses.

00:53:03.700 I think, I think maybe it's mostly it's Hollywood.

00:53:06.680 It feels like that.

00:53:07.260 I don't know.

00:53:07.740 I think that's probably with sports too.

00:53:09.100 It's something like he's the, he batted 340 last year.

00:53:11.720 Now he's batting 240.

00:53:12.820 Oh, he's done.

00:53:13.540 His career's washed up.

00:53:14.500 He's finished.

00:53:15.320 Right.

00:53:15.740 You know, get rid of him.

00:53:16.640 New guy.

00:53:17.580 And then that guy's got to build up and start taking more batting practice.

00:53:20.540 Yeah.

00:53:20.860 Go get coaching.

00:53:21.860 And all of a sudden he comes back.

00:53:23.120 Maybe, you know, it's, it's such a tough business.

00:53:26.020 And like, you know, it's who's hot.

00:53:28.140 Like I heard like some, a lot of people look at your fucking IBD, IMDB number.

00:53:32.740 Yeah.

00:53:33.000 If you're not like in the top hundred, you, they don't cast you.

00:53:36.420 Yeah.

00:53:36.740 You know, you gotta be hot.

00:53:37.780 You gotta be this.

00:53:38.360 How many followers you have?

00:53:39.760 How many Instagram, how many, it's not about talent anymore.

00:53:42.980 Right.

00:53:43.300 Right.

00:53:44.240 Right.

00:53:44.800 It's not, but I think that there are, I believe that the audience, that audience has to get

00:53:51.560 smarter as well in some ways where I think they do want, I think audience does want something

00:53:57.200 that's more real and that's more authentic, you know, than they did.

00:54:01.260 And I think they're tired of just being pushed.

00:54:04.020 Like, um, I don't know.

00:54:08.020 I feel like there has to be some, you know, everything.

00:54:12.700 I definitely feel like everything's changing.

00:54:14.140 I definitely feel like a lot more of it is in the hands of the entertainer now.

00:54:16.980 Do you feel that at all or no?

00:54:19.500 Yeah.

00:54:19.720 I feel like it's just like a, well, you came out of studio shows.

00:54:22.760 I mean, you've come out of like network shows.

00:54:24.760 Yeah.

00:54:25.040 Yes.

00:54:25.420 I'm like, I mean, you just had, what was the other, what was the new show that you had

00:54:28.620 recently?

00:54:29.040 That was, uh, it was in pastor.

00:54:31.200 Yes.

00:54:31.600 Dude, everybody's been telling me to watch that.

00:54:33.580 It was fun.

00:54:34.020 We only lasted two seasons, but I played a guy who was pretending to be this gay pastor

00:54:38.480 in the small town, but I was really screwing prostitutes and doing drugs.

00:54:42.360 And it was awesome.

00:54:44.080 It was such a stepdad, basically.

00:54:45.980 Yeah.

00:54:46.380 It was, uh, it was awesome.

00:54:50.480 And we did two seasons and, uh, we pretty much got to do what we want.

00:54:54.860 And I had a blast.

00:54:55.800 It was, it was, it was the, it was the show that I would have probably done for forever.

00:54:58.640 It was just one of those shows where you're blessed to be working.

00:55:01.300 It's just like, you're working four months, you bust your ass, you're making comedy every

00:55:04.740 day.

00:55:04.920 You're laughing.

00:55:05.720 It's dark.

00:55:06.500 It's funny.

00:55:07.060 It's, you know, you're getting paid for it.

00:55:08.960 It was a dream job.

00:55:09.640 And those jobs are, but back to your point, there's so many things now that, you know,

00:55:16.220 when I was, I'm not old, but like, you know, we're younger, like, think about it.

00:55:19.600 How many studios were there?

00:55:20.720 How many, uh, stations were there?

00:55:23.120 How many, like, who was making TV shows and movie now it's like YouTube stations.

00:55:28.980 And Instagram is doing their own thing.

00:55:31.360 And it's filming a movie under the desk right now.

00:55:33.400 Yeah.

00:55:33.740 He's fucking, what are you doing on there, Nick?

00:55:36.240 I mean, it's definitely, it looks like, oh, fucking he's hearing voices.

00:55:39.260 Setting up lighting.

00:55:40.060 Yeah.

00:55:41.700 But I mean, it's like, it's like a short film.

00:55:45.580 I'm just joking.

00:55:46.500 That's kind of, but you can do whatever you want.

00:55:47.660 The good thing is you can make a movie with your iPhone.

00:55:49.840 You could do whatever you want.

00:55:50.760 You can make product, but the bad thing is there's so much of it now, right?

00:55:53.560 It's everywhere and it's hard to like, people say, hey, there's a new show.

00:55:58.740 I'm like, yeah, but yesterday I heard there's a new show.

00:56:01.400 Right.

00:56:01.520 And the day before somebody else said there's a new show.

00:56:03.320 And there's eight superhero movies coming out this month.

00:56:06.020 Yeah.

00:56:06.260 And there's four Jurassic worlds coming out.

00:56:08.320 Yeah.

00:56:08.440 There's an aunt as a superhero now.

00:56:10.240 And it's not a bad, it's just like, it's just like, I don't even know what to do.

00:56:12.980 I'm so ADD.

00:56:13.960 And not even the insect.

00:56:14.860 It's a woman whose sister had a couple of children.

00:56:17.600 Yeah.

00:56:18.000 Her aunt.

00:56:18.540 Yeah.

00:56:18.800 I like it.

00:56:19.800 But you know, it's like, I just want a fucking chicken or beef.

00:56:22.600 Yeah.

00:56:22.960 Or vegan even.

00:56:23.920 There's three.

00:56:24.660 Right.

00:56:25.120 But just, to me, it's so much, so many choices that I don't even have time.

00:56:29.480 I don't even know what to do.

00:56:31.040 Mm-hmm.

00:56:31.680 But you must be, there must be something about you that finds, because you have your own podcast

00:56:35.760 now.

00:56:36.320 Yeah.

00:56:36.980 And so there must be something that has led you in that direction to be, to want to create

00:56:42.060 your own stuff.

00:56:43.100 Yeah.

00:56:43.460 Because I think whether we realize that in the beginning of having a podcast or not, I think it

00:56:47.360 ends up leading us there some.

00:56:49.480 I mean, I don't know.

00:56:49.940 What are some of the stuff you've found?

00:56:51.540 You just nailed it, and you insinuated something.

00:56:55.840 You were like, you know, it's like, why do we do it?

00:56:58.600 And we found, is it something you, did you find?

00:57:00.780 That's exactly what it was.

00:57:01.920 At first, my producer, Rob, was like, dude, you need to do a podcast.

00:57:06.080 And I was like, nah, I don't think I need to do a podcast.

00:57:08.420 He goes, yeah, you do.

00:57:09.120 I think it'd be fun of just talking to people.

00:57:10.700 And I go, all right, you know what?

00:57:11.760 Fuck it.

00:57:12.360 How much is it going to cost?

00:57:13.000 He goes, get a soundboard.

00:57:14.280 We'll get some mics.

00:57:14.960 We'll go to your house.

00:57:16.200 You have celebrity friends.

00:57:17.360 You have athletes.

00:57:18.860 You know people.

00:57:19.680 God, Rob sounds like a great guy.

00:57:21.740 He is.

00:57:22.100 He's a great guy.

00:57:22.600 He's a kid.

00:57:23.740 He's like 29.

00:57:25.360 He's got a kid.

00:57:26.460 He's married.

00:57:27.100 He's just a nice kid.

00:57:28.560 So he hooked the stuff up, and I'd invite my friends over, like Swartzen and Harlan.

00:57:33.420 At first, it was just like, hey, I'm finding stuff out about them.

00:57:37.500 But all of a sudden, I go, one day, I don't know what it was.

00:57:41.560 It was like Zach Levi was on, the guy who was playing Shazam.

00:57:45.760 Shazam who?

00:57:46.580 Shazam, the superhero.

00:57:47.900 They just did a new movie.

00:57:49.100 The guy who knows what music is?

00:57:51.200 Huh?

00:57:52.100 That's a fucking superhero.

00:57:53.400 No, Shazam.

00:57:54.500 Remember music from the 70s?

00:57:55.900 Shazam's an app?

00:57:56.740 Yeah.

00:57:58.020 That's a fucking superhero.

00:57:59.340 I'm out.

00:58:00.080 No.

00:58:00.860 But anyway, this guy tears up.

00:58:02.560 We're talking about it.

00:58:02.760 That was a grandmother.

00:58:03.600 When I was growing up, somebody could remember a song from the 70s, but it was a grandparent.

00:58:06.820 Now that's a fucking superhero.

00:58:08.480 I quit, dude.

00:58:09.580 An aunt is a superhero.

00:58:11.100 Everybody's a superhero.

00:58:11.640 Asthma is now a superpower.

00:58:13.780 Some guy that can't handle air and is going to die soon.

00:58:17.400 Wow.

00:58:18.580 Unbelievable.

00:58:18.900 It's right there.

00:58:19.860 No.

00:58:20.340 But look, for me, it became therapy.

00:58:22.800 I'm telling you, man.

00:58:23.600 All of a sudden, I'm talking to somebody and I go down this rabbit hole where it's like,

00:58:26.500 oh, you get anxiety?

00:58:27.420 Like we're talking about it.

00:58:28.140 And they're like, yeah, it was debilitating and I did this.

00:58:30.660 And I'm like, finding out Kristen Bell has fucking anxiety and depression and all that.

00:58:34.820 Jennifer, I love you.

00:58:35.480 It doesn't love herself.

00:58:37.000 Really?

00:58:37.480 Loves her middle name.

00:58:38.380 Loves her middle name.

00:58:39.340 And she doesn't love herself.

00:58:40.320 And all of a sudden, I get these texts from her saying, that was like, I've never done a

00:58:45.260 podcast.

00:58:45.860 And I was crying today on how happy it made me to talk about these things and be open.

00:58:49.560 And I was like, then I realized, wow, I get emails from people and texts and Twitter.

00:58:54.300 And it just made me feel good that people are, it's almost, they listen to it and there's

00:58:59.220 hope for them.

00:59:00.120 Yeah.

00:59:00.260 They feel like, oh, this is my idol and she's got problems.

00:59:04.680 She's kind of fucked up.

00:59:05.720 We're all fucked up.

00:59:06.640 Yeah.

00:59:06.980 We were talking about it.

00:59:07.760 So for me, it inadvertently became like, this is real.

00:59:12.840 If I'm just real, if I'm just talking to people and finding shit out and we have fun,

00:59:17.000 I remember laughing, but I find out all this dark shit and dark, like there's dark stuff

00:59:22.940 out there.

00:59:23.100 I can't wait.

00:59:23.460 Like tomorrow I'm interviewing Dave Bautista.

00:59:25.540 You are?

00:59:25.900 The wrestler?

00:59:26.680 Yeah.

00:59:27.140 But from Guardians of the Galaxy too.

00:59:29.000 He was drag.

00:59:29.460 So I'm like excited.

00:59:30.360 I want to find out some shit about him.

00:59:32.920 I bet he's got some dark shit.

00:59:34.640 Yeah.

00:59:35.120 And I think that's what people want to hear.

00:59:36.460 They don't, they don't want to hear just like people going, sell your movies coming

00:59:39.360 out.

00:59:39.480 You know, those late night shows where it's five minutes.

00:59:41.120 Yeah.

00:59:41.420 It's just fluff.

00:59:42.280 It's not real.

00:59:43.160 Well, it's all fucking Muppetry.

00:59:44.800 Yeah.

00:59:45.060 You know?

00:59:45.340 That's exactly right.

00:59:45.860 How do we choreograph this to just to make the audience sort of just laugh?

00:59:50.420 He's nice.

00:59:51.400 He's handsome.

00:59:52.220 Go see his movie.

00:59:53.220 Right.

00:59:53.560 That's not, you know.

00:59:54.640 It's a fucking sham is what it is at a certain point.

00:59:57.540 It's a Shazam.

00:59:58.400 It's a Shazam.

00:59:59.360 Yeah.

01:00:00.040 It's a Shazam.

01:00:00.980 Just snorted out.

01:00:02.560 We got a couple of fan line questions that came in.

01:00:04.820 Oh, fuck.

01:00:04.960 Let's get to a couple of those, bro.

01:00:06.440 Are these live?

01:00:07.120 Huh?

01:00:07.520 Are these live?

01:00:08.080 No, there's not live.

01:00:08.840 None of this is live, dude.

01:00:10.460 I got a question from Michael.

01:00:11.760 You used to be Lex Luthor on the Smallville.

01:00:14.880 Well, he was great, man.

01:00:17.960 And I'm curious what he thinks of the new Lex Luthor.

01:00:21.300 That Jesse Eisenberg Riddler Luthor.

01:00:24.700 That old goofy ass Luthor.

01:00:26.100 I don't like him, man.

01:00:27.800 Take it easy, guys.

01:00:29.920 Jesse Eisenberg's playing Luthor?

01:00:31.920 He played him already.

01:00:32.780 Oh, wow.

01:00:33.660 I need to see that.

01:00:35.320 Yeah.

01:00:35.780 You know, thanks for the question.

01:00:37.640 That's hard for me to answer because it's easy to sound like a dick.

01:00:41.180 Like if I was here to sit here and say, oh, yeah, he really dropped the ball.

01:00:45.920 He played it maniacally.

01:00:48.060 I wouldn't have done that.

01:00:49.700 I think, you know, it's like there's a direction.

01:00:52.360 And Zack Snyder was the director of the last movie, right?

01:00:55.420 And so he and Jesse said, this is the character and this is what you're doing.

01:00:59.160 And they worked.

01:00:59.740 They collaborated.

01:01:00.280 And that was the Lex Luthor that Jesse Eisenberg did.

01:01:03.700 And, you know, a lot of people didn't like it.

01:01:05.780 A lot of people liked it.

01:01:06.900 You know.

01:01:07.760 Yeah.

01:01:08.080 I would always say, like, look, man, it's a vulnerable, you know, position to be in.

01:01:15.620 It's like you're an actor.

01:01:16.420 You do a part.

01:01:17.220 And, like, people are going to love you or hate you or somewhere in between or forget you.

01:01:20.580 And I don't know.

01:01:22.020 I enjoyed doing Smallville for seven years.

01:01:24.400 I loved playing the character.

01:01:25.780 I always thought Lex Luthor, he was like he had his shit together.

01:01:28.800 And he was more in his head.

01:01:30.280 Right.

01:01:30.660 And it was real.

01:01:31.340 And it was just like when he blew up, he blew up.

01:01:33.760 And you were intimidated by him.

01:01:35.120 You were a little scared of him.

01:01:36.020 You weren't sure what he was capable of.

01:01:37.480 So that's my interpretation of the character.

01:01:39.540 But, you know, that interpretation of the character was sort of.

01:01:41.820 Do you have a picture of Eisenberg or something on there that we can see?

01:01:43.680 Yeah.

01:01:43.920 That interpretation was just, you know, it was a different version.

01:01:46.960 That was, you know.

01:01:49.540 Yeah.

01:01:50.080 Sort of like.

01:01:50.820 It was a little bit like the Joker.

01:01:52.260 A little bit like crazy maniacal.

01:01:53.540 And that was the direction that he chose.

01:01:55.300 Right.

01:01:56.580 How did I do on that response?

01:01:59.360 Oh, I see.

01:02:01.040 Yeah.

01:02:01.340 There he is.

01:02:01.900 And I worked with him.

01:02:03.660 Yeah.

01:02:03.820 And he was a great guy.

01:02:04.840 And he's a great actor.

01:02:05.740 So, you know, people always say, all right, well, why don't you play Lex Luthor?

01:02:10.040 They're like, well, they didn't ask me.

01:02:11.440 Did he put on weight for this at all or no?

01:02:13.120 No, I don't think so.

01:02:14.360 It seemed like he'd almost be a little too meek, I feel like, in some ways.

01:02:19.720 Yeah.

01:02:20.040 Yeah.

01:02:20.080 He looks like a Lex Luthor, like maybe in Brooklyn, maybe.

01:02:24.720 You know?

01:02:25.340 I couldn't see him Lex Luthoring outside of that area, maybe.

01:02:28.500 Lex Luthoring?

01:02:29.160 He looks like a gentrification Lex Luthor.

01:02:31.920 Yeah.

01:02:32.200 Well, the good thing is he's the, you know, well, I don't know, like.

01:02:36.160 You know, they're going for, you know, they went Jewish for Lex Luthor with me.

01:02:40.440 Rosenbaum.

01:02:40.960 Right.

01:02:41.080 Then they went to Eisenberg.

01:02:42.400 So, I don't know.

01:02:42.960 So, it's obviously a Jewish character.

01:02:44.380 Is it a Jewish thing?

01:02:45.160 Yeah.

01:02:45.660 I don't know.

01:02:46.420 Eisenberg, Rosenbaum.

01:02:47.980 Who's next?

01:02:49.000 Vaughn.

01:02:49.480 Yeah.

01:02:50.000 That's, Vaughn's not a Jewish name.

01:02:51.640 Uh-uh.

01:02:52.080 No, no, no.

01:02:53.020 Does, um, so, what was another question?

01:02:56.520 What do you have, Nick?

01:02:57.140 Oh, yeah.

01:02:57.520 We got another question here.

01:02:59.500 Another Smallville one.

01:03:00.760 Oh, yeah.

01:03:01.360 Hey, what's going on?

01:03:05.480 It's a question from Michael Rosenbaum.

01:03:07.800 I don't know if this is too touchy, but what was, what's the deal?

01:03:11.260 Well, on the set of Smallville, a show that used to be on with Allison Mack, did he get the vibe or anything that she was into some freaky sex cult shit?

01:03:19.100 Oh, yeah.

01:03:19.780 Some crazy stuff.

01:03:20.820 Can you bring a picture up, too, whenever you bring this up?

01:03:21.920 What's the vibe there?

01:03:22.820 What's the vibe there?

01:03:23.320 What's the beard?

01:03:24.320 What's the sound of my field?

01:03:26.720 Anyways, man, you're the man.

01:03:29.100 Have a good day.

01:03:30.140 You know what's funny is I haven't responded to this.

01:03:33.240 Let me look at this.

01:03:34.020 So, Allison Mack is the girl.

01:03:36.400 What was this thing called?

01:03:37.960 I remember they busted a man who was running, who was using a group.

01:03:44.280 Here, you go.

01:03:45.080 You know, it's funny because I've chosen not to talk about it only because it's so, it's shocking.

01:03:53.360 And all I can say is this.

01:03:55.840 When I was on that show, Allison was the sweetest, professional, most professional.

01:04:02.520 She was just a great girl, a great actress.

01:04:06.080 And, you know, I remember, you know, doing some self-help stuff.

01:04:11.060 I remember she was a part of something, and it was a different than it was now.

01:04:16.200 But I remember her mentioning something.

01:04:17.540 Oh, there's this.

01:04:19.260 Agape or something?

01:04:19.940 An organization or something.

01:04:21.080 No.

01:04:21.620 There's always, because there's a lot of those.

01:04:23.260 Whatever.

01:04:23.960 I didn't listen to it.

01:04:24.680 I just remember thinking, oh, it sounds a little culty.

01:04:26.700 I'm not, it's not for me.

01:04:28.060 I don't know.

01:04:29.000 And I just never thought about it.

01:04:30.480 But it never, she never.

01:04:34.760 Sorry, this is the first time I've actually talked about it.

01:04:37.580 But I felt like it was such a shock to hear all these things.

01:04:40.660 I just didn't believe it.

01:04:41.960 Right.

01:04:42.180 You know, it's like somebody said, hey, your brother killed somebody.

01:04:44.800 You're like, no, he didn't.

01:04:45.520 I know my brother.

01:04:46.260 He wouldn't kill anybody.

01:04:47.580 Right.

01:04:47.840 So to me, seeing this, it's still, it's bizarre.

01:04:52.120 It's like, you know, I want to hear the, you know, the whole story, I think, is yet to come out.

01:04:56.880 But I think a lot of the story is out there now.

01:04:58.580 And it's, I think it's just shocking.

01:05:00.340 It's surprising.

01:05:00.980 She was great.

01:05:01.700 I just bumped into an old director from Smallville.

01:05:03.480 We looked at each other like, you know, things happen in life.

01:05:06.280 And you're like, you just don't have answers for.

01:05:10.140 And for me, it was like working with someone for seven years.

01:05:12.480 We weren't, we didn't go out.

01:05:13.880 We didn't like hang out.

01:05:14.680 Did you ever ask her out with her?

01:05:15.360 She was younger.

01:05:16.200 So I hung out with Tom a little bit.

01:05:18.100 And, you know, I wasn't around as much.

01:05:20.000 Who's Tommy, me?

01:05:20.220 Tom Welling.

01:05:20.800 He was Superman.

01:05:21.520 He was Clark Kent.

01:05:22.540 So I hung out with him.

01:05:23.760 So I really didn't hang out with Allison, but maybe a couple times throughout seven years.

01:05:28.100 So we didn't know each other.

01:05:29.220 We weren't close friends.

01:05:30.200 But like, there was always a mutual respect and a love there.

01:05:32.680 Did you ever hit on her?

01:05:33.580 Was there anything like that?

01:05:34.340 No, never, never, never.

01:05:35.520 I never, with any of my co-stars, never would do that.

01:05:38.000 Yeah.

01:05:38.120 You don't shit where you eat.

01:05:39.000 Although I have shat where I'm at.

01:05:41.260 Yeah.

01:05:42.120 You know, in the past.

01:05:43.800 I mean, there's when I was younger, I did a movie in Germany.

01:05:46.140 And the girl and I, the actress and I, we kind of got together.

01:05:48.620 It was a mistake.

01:05:49.260 But then we became friends eventually, which those just never end well.

01:05:52.200 So I never understand why people do that.

01:05:53.620 Because no matter what, if you're on a show, maybe a movie at the end, something, because

01:05:57.460 the movie's over.

01:05:58.320 But a TV show, it's just bad, bad, bad idea, man.

01:06:02.540 Right.

01:06:02.940 It's just not a good idea.

01:06:03.580 So I, and the good thing is, is Annette O'Toole was like older than me and married.

01:06:08.140 So, you know, that wasn't there.

01:06:09.480 And, you know, Kristen and Allison were a lot younger than me.

01:06:12.700 Right.

01:06:13.380 But that's attractive to a man.

01:06:14.880 It's not like younger.

01:06:15.380 Yeah, but it was, they, they felt like, you know, younger sisters.

01:06:19.020 Okay.

01:06:19.220 Because I was 25 and they were 18.

01:06:21.740 And what was her vibe like?

01:06:23.080 I mean, was she like, you were 25 and they were 18?

01:06:26.460 That's not insane at all.

01:06:28.040 That's totally normal.

01:06:28.900 Maybe I was 26.

01:06:30.640 Yeah.

01:06:30.840 Even if you're 36, that's not that insane.

01:06:33.120 Look, you know what it was?

01:06:33.900 It was just like, they're on the show.

01:06:35.200 They're younger.

01:06:36.060 I don't have as much in common.

01:06:37.360 I like 80s music and 70s music.

01:06:39.780 I'm partying at that time.

01:06:41.740 They're like going to museums.

01:06:43.940 They're smarter than I am.

01:06:45.280 Okay.

01:06:45.700 So they're kind of nerdier?

01:06:47.020 They're maybe a little nerdier, but just maybe more intelligent.

01:06:50.640 Okay.

01:06:51.020 Although, you know, I don't know.

01:06:52.180 That's a good way to put it.

01:06:52.900 Yeah, maybe more intelligent.

01:06:53.720 Maybe more mature than I was, which is not, not hard to do.

01:06:57.380 Right.

01:06:58.120 So I just didn't go there.

01:06:59.740 I thought it was a bad idea.

01:07:01.640 Not to say I never talked to a guest star ever, you know, if we became friends, but just

01:07:06.840 never do anything on set.

01:07:08.000 Right.

01:07:08.400 Like later on, if you become friends and the guest star is over and you're like, hey,

01:07:11.860 I want to get coffee.

01:07:13.100 Right.

01:07:13.260 You're not working on the show anymore.

01:07:14.600 But in hindsight, like, are there any, do you think you could see her?

01:07:19.080 Could you see her like being and getting into something like that?

01:07:23.440 No, never.

01:07:24.780 Never.

01:07:25.080 I thought she was just a girl, a nice person who just, you know, she's like a lot of

01:07:30.720 actresses or actors.

01:07:31.800 We want attention.

01:07:32.940 We want approval.

01:07:34.280 And she found something that she thought would probably, you know, give her that.

01:07:39.380 And then, and I don't think that's what she was doing when I, when I knew her.

01:07:42.720 Right.

01:07:42.880 And this was years ago, but ultimately, inadvertently, she got into something that was bigger than

01:07:47.960 her.

01:07:48.300 And, you know, I'm hearing things like, you know, she said supposedly that, you know,

01:07:54.640 it was manipulation or it was like, you know, she was, what's the word?

01:07:58.440 Coerced.

01:07:59.200 Stockholm syndrome type of stuff.

01:08:00.800 I just, I think that she, you know, she, who's to say what happened?

01:08:07.020 I mean, I'm not a psychologist.

01:08:08.020 Yeah, nobody knows.

01:08:08.940 We don't know.

01:08:09.540 I don't know.

01:08:10.200 All I know is, you know, it's shocking that it happened.

01:08:13.760 Like if you said, oh, Thea Vaughn killed someone.

01:08:15.800 I'd be like, oh, yeah.

01:08:17.700 Because I don't know you as well.

01:08:19.740 And maybe you did kill someone.

01:08:21.280 It's not shocking.

01:08:22.100 But when you're.

01:08:22.760 Who is it?

01:08:23.380 That you, what?

01:08:25.060 Who did I kill?

01:08:26.020 I mean, you could have killed someone.

01:08:27.440 Oh, yeah.

01:08:28.120 Yeah.

01:08:28.420 You probably could have killed someone.

01:08:29.840 You probably could have killed that girl, the African-American woman who put their hand

01:08:34.020 in your pocket in Brazil.

01:08:35.300 Oh, yeah.

01:08:36.160 A neck punch is rough, dude.

01:08:37.780 It would have taken a while, dude.

01:08:39.280 I've thrown some very weak punches.

01:08:40.580 She could have killed you, though.

01:08:41.760 Oh, easily.

01:08:42.700 Easily.

01:08:43.140 She probably could have.

01:08:44.000 And the crazy thing was, people around us in Brazil started like cheering and like betting

01:08:47.680 on who was going to win.

01:08:49.360 Because you both had long hair.

01:08:50.640 Bro, we were both outside.

01:08:52.600 It was broad daylight.

01:08:54.160 Nobody helped.

01:08:55.400 People started literally.

01:08:56.380 You probably were scared.

01:08:57.420 Betting.

01:08:57.680 I was extremely scared.

01:08:58.660 That's scary.

01:08:59.360 I was walking in a foreign country by myself and not even in like the best area.

01:09:04.580 It was, dude, it was shady.

01:09:05.580 It would have affected my ego.

01:09:06.880 Yeah.

01:09:07.120 Like I would have thought like out of all these people, this woman thought I was weak enough

01:09:10.440 to put her hand in my pocket.

01:09:11.760 Wow.

01:09:12.300 Gosh, I got to work out or something.

01:09:14.500 Well, you know what?

01:09:15.040 Right after that, I went back on.

01:09:16.200 Like I was on a cruise ship.

01:09:18.440 I went back onto the cruise ship and stayed on there and I didn't go back out into the

01:09:21.500 country.

01:09:22.160 That's a shame.

01:09:23.140 I felt like unwelcome.

01:09:25.200 I felt, yeah, just scared, you know?

01:09:27.700 I did feel like some of that kind of shit.

01:09:29.080 When someone violates you, it ruins everything.

01:09:35.200 I've been violated before.

01:09:36.940 And nobody helped.

01:09:37.980 You know?

01:09:38.260 That was a thing.

01:09:38.700 That's just bad.

01:09:39.040 People were gambling on who's going to fucking win.

01:09:41.820 People were gambling?

01:09:42.920 Yeah.

01:09:43.840 And then also, I remember this in Brazil.

01:09:46.500 Somebody would come up to you and say, I have AIDS, right?

01:09:49.320 It was a kid.

01:09:50.000 I have AIDS.

01:09:50.780 I'm going to bite you unless you give me money.

01:09:53.720 That was like a trick.

01:09:53.900 I would have stayed on the ship.

01:09:56.000 It was a good call, Theo.

01:09:57.320 That was the AIDS bite trick.

01:09:58.720 You got to stay on the cruise.

01:09:59.400 And chicks do that in nightclubs here in LA all the time.

01:10:01.560 But it's like, this is like, you know.

01:10:03.420 I'm going to bite you.

01:10:04.160 I'm going to take a bite out of your wallet.

01:10:05.440 You better take me to Mel's Diner for a burger.

01:10:07.120 I'm going to bite you with my AIDS.

01:10:09.040 Yeah, that's not good.

01:10:10.540 That AIDS bite, boy.

01:10:12.440 Yeah.

01:10:13.760 So you never saw anything like that with that?

01:10:15.660 So you would never think that that girl would be into something like that?

01:10:18.040 Never.

01:10:18.400 I thought she'd be married with kids.

01:10:21.120 And she was smart.

01:10:23.520 Her family was into music and opera and stuff and sort of upper class.

01:10:29.320 So how does that happen?

01:10:30.340 I don't know what that means.

01:10:32.300 But you look at her and you're like, oh, she's got her stuff together.

01:10:35.520 She's not an idiot with her money.

01:10:38.480 And she's, I just never thought it.

01:10:40.600 I don't think any of us thought.

01:10:41.980 So then how does that happen then?

01:10:43.840 I think that you just, you don't ever really know someone.

01:10:49.800 You don't ever really, really know someone.

01:10:52.580 Like I could tell you my friend Tom of 32 years friendship.

01:10:56.460 I promise you he would never kill someone.

01:10:59.520 Yeah.

01:10:59.720 But that's because I've grown up with him since I'm 12 years old.

01:11:02.640 Right.

01:11:02.780 And I know him inside out.

01:11:04.480 No, that's Daniel Cutter.

01:11:05.860 Yeah.

01:11:06.240 Tom Lally.

01:11:07.380 Like I've seen his penis.

01:11:09.060 I'm not in a gay way.

01:11:10.560 No.

01:11:11.100 But, you know, we know each other.

01:11:12.860 I've been in the hospital.

01:11:13.680 He's taking care of me when I had back surgery.

01:11:16.540 He's like, you know.

01:11:18.000 Sounds like more of a, almost getting in a gay way.

01:11:20.820 Taking care of him.

01:11:21.260 No, no.

01:11:21.700 He's just my best friend.

01:11:22.660 He sounds like Bridges of Madison County almost a little bit.

01:11:25.020 Man, maybe it does.

01:11:26.580 I apologize to the audience.

01:11:28.100 My bad, my bad, man.

01:11:28.680 No, no, but you're right.

01:11:29.640 I should have stopped with the penis, I think.

01:11:31.480 It was just kind of like.

01:11:32.500 He didn't have to take care of me with the penis right after that.

01:11:34.780 It's like we're like trying on scarves and stuff.

01:11:36.840 Yeah, it wasn't a good, yeah.

01:11:38.200 Peter's scarves guard over here.

01:11:40.180 Yeah, it wasn't good.

01:11:41.500 Okay, so your friend Tom, though.

01:11:42.800 I can tell you.

01:11:43.540 So I'm going to change the way I thought I'm going to do a Trump there.

01:11:47.200 I'm going to change the wood and wooden thing.

01:11:49.760 But I think that he wouldn't kill someone.

01:11:53.840 I know him.

01:11:54.620 But when you say Allison, would she do this?

01:11:56.400 I didn't know Allison.

01:11:57.480 Right.

01:11:57.620 I'd probably, you know, I'd see her once a week.

01:11:59.700 And I'd go, hey, what are you doing?

01:12:00.920 How's your weekend?

01:12:01.860 Great.

01:12:02.480 Who's this past weekend with Theo Vaughn?

01:12:04.780 And that would be it.

01:12:06.040 And I'd be like, oh, my God, you had dinner.

01:12:07.220 Oh, great.

01:12:07.580 Or she'd be in the makeup trailer.

01:12:08.740 It's like, what are you guys listening to?

01:12:10.300 And that was it.

01:12:11.140 I directed her in an episode.

01:12:12.480 And she was sweet as hell.

01:12:13.500 And she was like, oh, I need to cry.

01:12:15.040 Can you tell me that nice story about your grandma?

01:12:17.180 And I would tell her the story.

01:12:18.520 And she would cry.

01:12:19.280 And then we'd roll camera.

01:12:20.480 And she was just sweet.

01:12:21.800 And she was nice.

01:12:22.340 I didn't expect this.

01:12:23.800 This is a curveball.

01:12:24.980 But again, I didn't really know her.

01:12:29.300 Okay.

01:12:29.620 Well, then how about this thing I have?

01:12:31.280 Did she seem like a sexual person at all?

01:12:34.240 Because, you know, some of the things that they got caught up in.

01:12:36.480 Jeez.

01:12:36.740 You're going deep, man.

01:12:38.040 Well, I'm just curious about the psychology of some of this type of stuff.

01:12:40.540 Because this kind of stuff is, you know, it's like, look, like I'll have, for example, I will have people that will reach out to me, right?

01:12:49.420 Like, you might have chicks that are like porn stars, different types of stuff reach out to you.

01:12:53.640 Or women that want to text you and get you involved.

01:12:56.060 Like, I used to have this girl that would invite me to like these orgies and stuff downtown.

01:12:59.540 Did you go?

01:13:00.060 No, I didn't go.

01:13:01.140 But here's the thing.

01:13:02.120 It's like, it would have just been, but I met up with her one time for coffee, right?

01:13:06.880 So it would have just, so there's just a couple of, you know, it could be a couple of weekends.

01:13:12.700 It could be a drug, some drug, it could be a couple of drinks.

01:13:15.760 You'd never kind of, you're only a few steps away sometimes from things that you don't think you would be in, right?

01:13:21.060 But I think you would still like, some people would still have a vibe in them that would, you know, that would, that would match the current of whatever that, that is.

01:13:35.360 Yeah, I feel like she had like a sexual type of vibe or do you feel like she was like a, you know, some of these like incels now.

01:13:42.060 There's people that are afraid of sunlight and are just lazy and, you know, aren't doing sex or people that, you know, no one likes them.

01:13:49.080 So they just say that no one wants them, you know, I think, you know, look, you know, she seems sexy.

01:13:54.740 Did she seem sex?

01:13:55.680 I mean, that's, you know, I, again, I thought of her as like a kid.

01:13:58.380 I didn't look at her like that, but I, you know, I just, you know, you know, she was like anybody else.

01:14:02.820 She was flirty, she was fun, she was nice.

01:14:05.080 I didn't really see that side of her.

01:14:07.920 I just didn't see it.

01:14:09.080 You didn't see it.

01:14:09.540 But I didn't hang out with that.

01:14:10.960 But I will say this.

01:14:12.620 I think that like for me, I'm a bit of a control freak in terms of like drugs and alcohol.

01:14:20.480 Like I have friends who get drunk and they're like, they shouldn't drink and they get so hammered that I remember things.

01:14:25.280 And I'm like, I don't want to be that person.

01:14:27.180 So I am always aware of what I'm doing.

01:14:30.420 I don't put myself in precarious situations.

01:14:32.840 I just don't.

01:14:33.620 If I, I can sense bad things happening.

01:14:36.740 Yes.

01:14:37.100 It's always been, it's a gift, but it's also, I hate myself because it's like part of the fun.

01:14:41.880 It takes me out of the fun, but like I'm running that cusp, but like I've always been like, I'm not going to that.

01:14:46.740 That doesn't look like it'd be fun.

01:14:48.060 I'm not going to go into that place.

01:14:49.640 I'm not, that guy's looking at me.

01:14:50.980 I'm going to walk out.

01:14:51.800 I don't want to be, I'm just getting away from trouble.

01:14:54.200 Right.

01:14:54.500 So I always like, if some girl's a little bit like, let's, I'm hammered.

01:14:58.880 Let's go back to when I was younger.

01:15:00.000 I still remember going, nope, this girl's drunk and I don't know her and I'm not taking her back home.

01:15:06.580 I'm just not putting myself in that situation.

01:15:08.440 Yeah.

01:15:08.780 And I think there are people like that and you're right.

01:15:11.760 You miss out on fun, but you also take yourself out of dangerous situations.

01:15:16.620 Yeah.

01:15:17.000 And so I've always been that.

01:15:18.340 So I know people who could do, like I've seen them.

01:15:20.680 I'm like, good person, never would do this sober, never would make this bad decision sober, drinking a little too much right now.

01:15:27.140 If somebody doesn't keep an eye on that person, they can make a bad decision.

01:15:29.640 Wow.

01:15:29.980 And so I don't know, with her, I'm not talking about that because I never saw her.

01:15:33.420 So you don't know if that was her.

01:15:34.280 I don't know, but I'm just saying, you know, like I, you were saying people could be on the cusp of like going down that way.

01:15:41.340 But I just like, I know for me, that's not you.

01:15:44.200 Well, I just know I could never think something that was happening in that was right and keep going down that going down.

01:15:52.380 Because I would think, oh my God, this seems a little dangerous.

01:15:54.820 I, I, you can maybe get arrested for this.

01:15:56.980 If somebody found out, oh my God, this is bad.

01:15:59.960 This is so you couldn't keep going down that road unless what, unless you had some of that in you, unless you had some of that dark.

01:16:07.340 I don't even know if you had some of that in you, unless you were easily, like you said, coerced or like, you know, you were, uh, cause like what happened with the Manson, the Manson family?

01:16:17.180 They said, they pleaded like what, that he did what he, um, yeah.

01:16:22.500 Like, uh, manipulated the people, I guess.

01:16:25.200 Yeah.

01:16:25.520 Like they were like, oh my God, we just did Stockholm syndrome type of thing where he, yeah, they, he, they believe they were easily, uh, manipulated, like whatever.

01:16:34.040 But they, you know, uh, and they said that was the excuse.

01:16:36.940 I know that that could never happen to you to me.

01:16:40.120 Right.

01:16:40.500 Because I, but I, how old was she?

01:16:42.600 She was young though.

01:16:43.560 She was, that's what I'm saying.

01:16:44.480 She, well, she was young.

01:16:45.560 And this man was older apparently that ran the thing.

01:16:48.040 So now I could see that say a man comes along, he has a bunch of money, you know, he has access to like a lot of, you know, fun, crazy stuff.

01:16:55.940 Maybe, maybe he seems worldly.

01:16:57.280 He seems like a leader of a group you believe in.

01:16:59.380 Like I've been to these, um, I did orgasmic meditation where I'm driving around town and, you know, touching old, you know, I'll see older women's crotches as part of a club, you know, like, and that's a real thing.

01:17:11.140 And that's really, yeah, what that's organized.

01:17:13.600 And I met other, there's other celebrities in it, right?

01:17:15.900 Like, um, and I don't mean other celebrities, there's celebrities in it, but it's like, there are a lot of different groups out here.

01:17:22.980 There's a lot of people looking for connection, especially in Los Angeles.

01:17:26.760 It's a very disconnected city.

01:17:29.220 So if this girl was 18, 19, 22, easily, I could see her.

01:17:34.600 She gets involved with the group.

01:17:36.280 She's, she was an attractive girl, right?

01:17:38.580 At least.

01:17:39.120 Sure.

01:17:39.460 She was an eight.

01:17:40.960 I don't want to put numbers on anyone.

01:17:43.380 It's great.

01:17:44.260 Myself, like us.

01:17:45.220 Right.

01:17:45.660 She was at least an eight.

01:17:47.160 I think she was a pretty girl.

01:17:48.580 She was smart.

01:17:49.360 She was, this is why it's so shocking to me.

01:17:50.840 Yes.

01:17:51.360 She was younger.

01:17:52.160 She could have easily been mind fucked and, and, and given like, who knows, they could

01:17:57.640 have said, Oh, and promised her these things.

01:17:59.260 And she was empowered by things.

01:18:00.780 And somehow she fell down this dark, maybe all of it to me is just, for me, it's shocking

01:18:07.860 just because like to know someone, it's like, you know, again, I said, no, someone, but I

01:18:12.280 really didn't know her.

01:18:13.440 And it just makes me sad ultimately, because it just makes me sad to know someone who really

01:18:19.400 was a sweetheart and could be capable of something like this, you know, and we, I don't know

01:18:25.160 the whole story, but it's just, it's just, it's very bizarre.

01:18:29.040 It's just, it's, it's completely shut.

01:18:31.160 When I saw it, I just, I looked at Tom, co-star and I, and I looked at, you know, I talked

01:18:35.840 to a couple of people and I was just like, I just, I don't even know what to say.

01:18:38.060 Well, it looks like the older man, whoever ran it, it looks like he took advantage of her.

01:18:41.820 That's exactly right.

01:18:42.740 I feel like that's, took advantage of a younger person.

01:18:44.760 Took advantage of her, he probably blackmailed her, he probably manipulated all these, all

01:18:48.860 these girls were manipulated and blackmailed and these women, and it's sad and, and it

01:18:55.540 happens.

01:18:56.060 It happens.

01:18:56.300 You hear about all you hear about, you know.

01:18:58.300 It's the dark arts, bro.

01:19:00.480 It happens more than you think, probably.

01:19:03.000 Admit that it is.

01:19:04.020 Yeah.

01:19:04.480 The arts?

01:19:05.340 Yeah.

01:19:05.720 Dark arts.

01:19:06.620 Dark, darks.

01:19:08.100 You don't think it's the dark arts, dude?

01:19:09.480 A man doing that?

01:19:10.620 Oh yeah, it's dark.

01:19:11.600 Yeah.

01:19:14.920 Yeah.

01:19:15.560 It is, man.

01:19:16.420 I agree.

01:19:17.020 Who's that on there?

01:19:17.700 I don't think it's, I don't know.

01:19:19.260 Let's hear, there's another fan line?

01:19:20.440 Yeah.

01:19:20.780 Let's take one more fan line question here, man.

01:19:22.660 And this is from our live raised fan line.

01:19:25.320 You can submit these online through our YouTube link or through a link on iTunes.

01:19:30.520 Um, and you can submit a question, uh, that will come directly to us, uh, via video.

01:19:36.020 Thank you so much.

01:19:37.000 Let's play that, Nick.

01:19:37.760 Hey, I got a question for, uh, Rosie.

01:19:46.360 Him being from Indiana, uh, you know, fuck that.

01:19:49.680 No.

01:19:50.180 Ask him a question about Harlan Williams.

01:19:52.060 Make him tell a good story.

01:19:53.760 Yeah.

01:19:54.080 And what's up with this long hair off my head?

01:19:59.180 Okay.

01:19:59.820 So let's ask, let's see about that.

01:20:01.520 Let's, let's tell us a good Harlan story.

01:20:04.120 Harlan's one of the nicest men I've ever heard.

01:20:05.560 One of the greatest.

01:20:06.100 He's one of my best friends in the world.

01:20:07.060 We did a movie called Sorority Boys years ago.

01:20:08.880 Is it good or not?

01:20:10.100 Sorority Boys?

01:20:10.680 Yeah.

01:20:10.840 It actually has become a cult movie.

01:20:12.520 People love that movie.

01:20:13.560 I really do.

01:20:14.360 Genuinely.

01:20:14.900 I go to these like conventions to sign autographs and people come up and love, quote, sorority

01:20:19.740 boys.

01:20:20.380 Have you seen Cicero?

01:20:22.300 No.

01:20:23.700 I think it's a movie.

01:20:24.880 Sicaro.

01:20:25.440 Sicaro.

01:20:25.900 Sicaro.

01:20:26.420 I saw the first one.

01:20:27.500 Is it good?

01:20:28.120 Cicero.

01:20:28.620 I was like, Cicero?

01:20:29.640 Is Harlan in that?

01:20:31.000 Hey, buddy.

01:20:31.820 You're part of the mafia here, pal.

01:20:34.480 Hey, Theo.

01:20:36.820 Harlan, Harlan dragged me.

01:20:38.960 He and I have gone on some crazy trips.

01:20:41.480 He dragged me to Burning Man.

01:20:43.980 And I don't do drugs or anything, but I said, fuck it.

01:20:47.860 I'm in Burning Man.

01:20:48.580 I'm going to do a Molly.

01:20:49.820 And I did a Molly, and it was a lot of fun.

01:20:52.360 And I remember just, I mean, he was just-

01:20:55.680 Was you wearing a diaper?

01:20:57.220 No, but I just remember him, like, us laughing constantly.

01:21:01.740 And we got this RV, and he used to get pissed because I was taking a shit with the door

01:21:05.000 open.

01:21:05.300 He's like, buddy, what are you doing, man?

01:21:07.420 I'm fucking sharing an RV with you, and you're fucking shitting with the door open.

01:21:12.140 Yeah.

01:21:13.440 That's dirty.

01:21:14.240 I remember we came at, like, two in the-

01:21:15.760 I don't want to miss anything.

01:21:16.700 That's why I have it open.

01:21:17.620 Oh, I respect that almost kind of, dude.

01:21:19.220 Yeah, I respect that.

01:21:20.080 Steaddad used to do that.

01:21:20.860 Indiana thing.

01:21:21.660 Yeah.

01:21:21.980 And I just remember coming home, like, four in the morning to the RV, and he's like,

01:21:25.620 I'm going to have a Thanksgiving dinner, bud.

01:21:27.980 And I go, all right.

01:21:29.160 And he opens a little fridge in the freezer.

01:21:31.760 It's like this little square, small Thanksgiving meal-in-one frozen meal.

01:21:35.960 Wow.

01:21:36.260 Took two and a half minutes to make it.

01:21:38.260 And he starts eating at four in the morning, just stuffing his face.

01:21:41.200 I was like, oh, it's delicious, bud.

01:21:42.740 And I look in the back, and I go, you know this has 6,000 calories, Harlan?

01:21:47.300 Wow.

01:21:47.600 He goes, thanks for ruining Thanksgiving, pal.

01:21:51.580 And he put it aside.

01:21:53.020 But Harlan's like one of those guys who just has a heart of gold, and he always makes me laugh.

01:21:58.440 Every day, I have texts from him this morning.

01:22:00.420 Does he do that to you?

01:22:01.580 Mm-mm.

01:22:01.980 Oh, you don't know?

01:22:02.460 Yeah.

01:22:02.800 We're not that close.

01:22:03.620 You're not that close.

01:22:03.740 We do communicate well.

01:22:05.100 I think we've both kind of tried to become a little bit closer, but I think we probably have

01:22:11.500 to do a little bit more follow-through.

01:22:13.200 Well, I'll have a barbecue, and I'll invite you.

01:22:14.860 I'd love to.

01:22:15.280 He always comes to those things.

01:22:17.100 But he's a treat, man.

01:22:18.280 He's one of the top.

01:22:18.660 Yeah, I went to his Christmas party, and it was great.

01:22:20.400 Yeah, that's where I saw you.

01:22:21.760 It was so much fun.

01:22:22.260 Were you on a date?

01:22:23.520 No.

01:22:24.180 You were solo.

01:22:25.440 Yeah, we were solo.

01:22:26.240 But he and I were both like, yeah, I was solo.

01:22:30.260 But yeah, it was fun.

01:22:31.540 It was a great time.

01:22:32.500 Wow, that's nice.

01:22:32.980 A lot of cute gals running around.

01:22:34.200 Yeah.

01:22:34.320 I got to meet Christopher Titus, which was cool, because I've always been a big fan of him.

01:22:37.000 Yeah, right?

01:22:37.860 Yeah.

01:22:38.100 Yeah, Harlan's good.

01:22:39.120 He's good people, man.

01:22:40.200 He's got some crazy stories.

01:22:42.640 He took me down the Amazon River.

01:22:44.540 No.

01:22:45.300 He goes, buddy, we're going to Peru.

01:22:48.880 And I'm like, nah, I don't think so.

01:22:50.520 He goes like, no, buddy, we're going on the Amazon.

01:22:52.500 We're going to see links, and we're going to see those things that are in the tree.

01:22:56.380 Magic spiders.

01:22:57.120 Oh, yeah, bud.

01:22:58.000 It's going to be.

01:22:58.380 And it was.

01:22:58.880 It was the most amazing time ever.

01:23:00.480 And we swam.

01:23:02.000 I swam naked.

01:23:03.400 He had shorts on, but with piranhas.

01:23:05.740 Yeah.

01:23:06.060 And the Amazon, and he's just fun to be around.

01:23:10.600 He's like an older brother.

01:23:11.460 Yeah.

01:23:11.660 He's like one of the top 60 or 70 people, I think, I've ever met.

01:23:15.740 Top 60 or 70 people.

01:23:16.980 60 or 70 people.

01:23:18.800 People.

01:23:19.800 Not favorite.

01:23:20.520 Oh, just people.

01:23:21.660 Yeah, one of the top.

01:23:22.660 I mean, it would have to be.

01:23:23.040 That's pretty good.

01:23:24.160 Top 60 or 70?

01:23:25.440 Yeah.

01:23:25.900 I'd say he's probably top 20 for me.

01:23:29.580 For me, because we're closer.

01:23:31.660 Yeah, but still, that's a lot of people.

01:23:33.080 You don't even know him, and that's a lot of people.

01:23:34.280 Yeah, but nine people are family members, so then you're down to 11 people after that

01:23:37.600 if you're doing top 20.

01:23:39.120 That's pretty good.

01:23:40.020 You don't know how to work like a real top.

01:23:41.560 You don't know how to work a top numerical system.

01:23:44.140 What do you have to say, Nick?

01:23:45.020 I was just going to wonder if, or I was wondering if, is Harlan always on?

01:23:50.700 Are there ever like-

01:23:51.380 A lot of people have asked me that.

01:23:52.540 Deep conversations with him?

01:23:53.700 Yeah, you know, it's funny, because when you meet him, they're like, he's always on.

01:23:56.240 He's like, hey, buddy, yeah, why don't you, your wife, how's your wife doing, bud?

01:24:01.240 And he's doing all, you know, and it's funny, because they don't see the side of him, like

01:24:05.260 when his mom passed away, how raw and emotional he was, and how many times we just would sit

01:24:13.840 there and talk for hours, and emotional, and like, conversations about just life, and

01:24:19.460 growing up, and his dad, and, you know, girlfriends that I've had, and his ex-white, we would just

01:24:25.120 talk about real shit, and he's just there for me.

01:24:28.600 When I was going through a breakup, he'd check in all the time, he's like, hey, bud, leave

01:24:31.920 these messages.

01:24:32.760 Hey, it's your Aunt Ruthie, just checking up on you, hope you're okay, don't kill yourself,

01:24:39.280 the family loves you.

01:24:40.620 Oh, and like, he would leave these, I have, I save all his messages.

01:24:43.900 I have a hundred messages that I want to make into a special, and just use them all with

01:24:49.200 like, it's just like these three, four minute messages of Harlan.

01:24:53.520 I have them on here, and he just knows how to make you feel good, and he's like, if he's

01:24:57.660 your bud, and he loves you, he's there forever.

01:24:59.640 He's like one of those guys.

01:25:01.200 Yeah.

01:25:01.580 Yeah.

01:25:02.180 Yeah, he does, he does, he does have such a beautiful, he does have such a beautiful

01:25:06.020 soul, he's a really interesting man.

01:25:07.420 And if people don't know him out there, you know, he's the Dumb and Dumber guy, he's the

01:25:10.420 something about marriage.

01:25:11.120 Oh, yeah.

01:25:11.300 They know him, right?

01:25:12.060 Little of your grandpappy's slappy sauce there, what does he say?

01:25:15.780 It's so funny.

01:25:16.540 You chewing on grandpa's...

01:25:17.880 There's a little old cough medicine there, have you?

01:25:19.760 Drinking on some of grandpa's cough medicine, or...

01:25:22.680 Yeah.

01:25:25.040 Yeah, the favorite thing is, in Half Baked, when he's talking to the horse, he feeds the

01:25:29.980 horse all that stuff, he's like, whoa there, big girl, there's a black girl walking

01:25:33.980 down the street, and she's like, what you talking about?

01:25:36.400 Yeah.

01:25:37.700 She thinks he's talking to her.

01:25:40.420 You ever run butt naked backwards through a cornfield?

01:25:43.560 That's prison, that's prison in Half Baked to him.

01:25:46.100 That's amazing.

01:25:47.380 Yeah, he's one of, I'll say this, one of a kind.

01:25:50.160 Yeah.

01:25:50.780 And you're top 60 or 70.

01:25:52.360 Yeah.

01:25:52.940 That's good.

01:25:54.020 One of a kind, that man.

01:25:55.400 Yeah, there's no...

01:25:56.020 I don't mean anybody even at all like him.

01:25:58.040 Well, I think you have like a certain personality when you're on stage, especially that there's

01:26:01.540 a unique, there's people who just go up there and deliver and they just have funny

01:26:04.260 stuff, and then there's a persona, like you have a persona, right?

01:26:09.360 You have like, like Harlan has that thing where he goes and says, there's nobody like

01:26:12.620 him, like you said, he's like, yeah buddy, so I had this ant problem, you know, I had

01:26:19.140 this ant problem, I had ants all over the place, and so I got really upset, so one day

01:26:24.740 I went with a little bucket, and I picked up all these little fuckers and I threw them

01:26:29.240 into the pool, right?

01:26:31.360 And as they were drowned, I got this little tear in my eye, you know, it's like, look

01:26:35.340 at it, emotional.

01:26:36.540 And I ran into the house and I grabbed a box of Cheerios, and one by one, I threw them in

01:26:41.840 the pool to rescue the...

01:26:44.140 Like so, I mean, nobody...

01:26:45.620 He talks about the most random shit, and I was always like, God, I can never be that

01:26:51.240 funny, I can never do that, and people are always like, just be you, man.

01:26:54.200 That's, I guess, the most important thing, right?

01:26:55.840 Yeah.

01:26:56.100 Just go up and be you.

01:26:58.180 Yeah, I think so, man.

01:26:59.380 Look, I mean, I don't know, like, I don't know, I'm certainly curious to see, you know,

01:27:04.480 whatever you create and do next, you just seem to keep staying busy, and I think everything

01:27:08.420 comes out of that.

01:27:09.800 It's like, yeah, you know, if you just stay busy, things will happen, things, you know,

01:27:14.620 get created, and, you know, you get to do fun stuff, and it's exciting, you know?

01:27:21.840 Yeah.

01:27:22.180 It's fucking them again, isn't it?

01:27:24.640 It is.

01:27:24.960 Yeah, they are loud.

01:27:25.640 The fighter and the kid?

01:27:27.140 Yeah.

01:27:27.560 Who's in there?

01:27:28.560 I don't know.

01:27:29.780 You should just bust in there after we yell at them.

01:27:31.620 Can I yell shut up?

01:27:33.020 Yeah, they're not going to be able to hear us.

01:27:34.280 Oh, for now, I don't want to do this.

01:27:35.460 He's a waste of yelling.

01:27:36.920 Let me do this.

01:27:39.060 Let's see what they do.

01:27:41.640 That's Theo.

01:27:42.260 He goes, is that Theo?

01:27:45.340 Shut up!

01:27:47.320 We could hear you over here, paying $1,400 a month.

01:27:51.720 Shut the front door!

01:27:53.400 Shut the front door!

01:27:55.460 Fight her and the kid!

01:28:00.420 They're both going to get their ass kicked!

01:28:06.120 One more word out of you, and I'm going to come over there and I'm going to roll your ass!

01:28:11.620 Sorry.

01:28:12.080 It's Ray Liotta, you fuck!

01:28:17.220 That ain't Will Sasso, that big fucking Flintstone!

01:28:20.360 Have you guys ever thought of soundproofing?

01:28:29.720 This is unprofessional!

01:28:31.420 You fucking Kratom junkies!

01:28:37.580 Lay off the Kratom, you creeps!

01:28:41.020 Those guys are always hopped up on all types of rare uppers and stuff.

01:28:44.160 Really?

01:28:44.460 GNC, yeah.

01:28:45.860 Oh, I drove past a GNC in Venice and...

01:28:48.860 What's his name?

01:28:49.440 Was out there before it opened, dude.

01:28:51.480 Callen?

01:28:52.160 Huh?

01:28:53.000 Callen or...

01:28:53.480 Both of them.

01:28:54.900 It was Shaub, I think.

01:28:55.700 That's weird.

01:28:56.720 Showing up to GNC before GNC opens.

01:28:58.940 I mean, I can understand a McDonald's for, you know, you're waiting for breakfast, but

01:29:04.060 that's weird.

01:29:05.680 Who is it?

01:29:06.420 What the fuck are you doing?

01:29:11.660 Oh, my God, bro.

01:29:14.040 You look like a fucking...

01:29:16.080 What's up, dude?

01:29:17.260 Oh, my God.

01:29:17.620 They were telling us you were at the GNC before it opened one day.

01:29:20.860 It's not like a dorm room.

01:29:22.500 I've been farting through my panties.

01:29:23.940 Yeah, you got the last farts in here.

01:29:26.460 Dude, we've been over this, Brian.

01:29:27.780 That's right.

01:29:28.480 Isn't that gorgeous?

01:29:30.000 Get older.

01:29:30.760 That's Brady Matthews, dude.

01:29:32.840 God damn it, Brady Matthews.

01:29:34.400 Yeah.

01:29:35.280 Yep, the exact same thing.

01:29:37.140 He's an adult, dude.

01:29:38.960 Exact same thing he said last time.

01:29:40.380 Look at these.

01:29:41.000 Should we bully them or no?

01:29:42.080 Hang on.

01:29:42.820 Who's your guest?

01:29:44.160 You're looking at him, bro.

01:29:45.400 What, bro?

01:29:46.240 You're looking at him, bro.

01:29:47.100 What?

01:29:47.300 What?

01:29:47.700 What's your guest, bro?

01:29:48.360 Hey, I'll come over after, man.

01:29:50.360 I'll be your guest.

01:29:51.060 We'll invite you on our show.

01:29:52.460 Oh, my God, dude.

01:29:54.280 Is everything all right?

01:29:55.320 The fuck do you want?

01:29:56.760 Everything's way okay, dude.

01:29:58.660 We'll break up all your stuff.

01:29:59.880 We'll break up all your shit.

01:30:00.980 Dude, half this shit is your old shit.

01:30:02.620 Yeah, we'll break it.

01:30:03.480 Yeah, we'll break it.

01:30:04.680 I'll have vibes in here.

01:30:05.360 Yeah, I don't like to fucking play it.

01:30:08.080 Yeah.

01:30:08.660 Do you guys think you should do something about the sound thing?

01:30:11.280 Yeah, get your shit together.

01:30:12.680 I don't know if you own a fucking place.

01:30:13.360 Ha ha, dude.

01:30:14.460 You run shit.

01:30:15.560 You own another cubicle.

01:30:17.280 Damn, dude.

01:30:18.120 I don't know if at all, bro.

01:30:19.940 Fire and Kid facility.

01:30:20.660 You guys are leasing.

01:30:21.480 Bro, Brian's starting to look like.

01:30:23.300 Are they?

01:30:23.780 I'm leasing from my stew.

01:30:25.420 Really?

01:30:25.840 Brian's starting to look like your stepdad, dude.

01:30:27.540 Get your fucking life together, dude.

01:30:29.340 Hey, that's not fair.

01:30:30.220 Well, look, bro.

01:30:30.980 You guys are in shape.

01:30:31.900 No, you're starting to look Croatian, bro.

01:30:33.420 You got to fucking tighten up, dude.

01:30:36.480 Wow, you look third world, bro.

01:30:38.360 Croatian.

01:30:39.220 You look third world successful, dog.

01:30:41.260 I just walked.

01:30:41.500 You know what I'm saying, dude?

01:30:42.640 Yeah, but I'm wearing my special.

01:30:44.080 Yeah, no shit, bro.

01:30:45.620 No, don't say that.

01:30:46.680 No, you look okay, but the.

01:30:48.340 You're making me feel insecure right now.

01:30:49.740 No, you look fine.

01:30:50.820 It's the rest of you, though.

01:30:51.720 You're ruining my podcast.

01:30:53.420 That's all I'm talking about.

01:30:54.860 What do you mean the rest of me?

01:30:56.460 This shit is on, bro.

01:30:58.100 What is he saying about that?

01:30:58.780 You tell fucking D'Leah if he wants a strap to come and fucking get this bitch, dude.

01:31:02.760 You have to look at that strap.

01:31:04.600 Yeah, it's the fucking belt, you piece of shit.

01:31:06.560 And it only costs $182, you cheap fucks, dude.

01:31:09.620 What the fuck is this?

01:31:10.760 Huh?

01:31:11.240 That's a real knife.

01:31:12.080 You got a knife?

01:31:13.300 Yeah.

01:31:13.900 And come and get those wooden shoes some guy made for you one time.

01:31:18.200 Dude, you know how terrible those are?

01:31:19.920 Those are made out of solid wood, dude.

01:31:22.180 Yeah, there's a worm living in one of them.

01:31:23.840 I have some dutch in it.

01:31:24.680 Yeah, I bet you do.

01:31:26.180 All right, we won't.

01:31:27.160 Mainly you, bro.

01:31:28.160 Yeah, get your shit together, dude.

01:31:30.180 No.

01:31:30.740 Guess what?

01:31:31.200 I don't like the way you look at it.

01:31:32.360 Oh, that guy has asthma.

01:31:34.700 I'm a premature baby.

01:31:36.040 You got asthma?

01:31:36.700 That dude's a premature baby, dude.

01:31:38.040 Seven months, and look what he's doing.

01:31:40.500 Oh, my God.

01:31:42.460 Flex on him, bro.

01:31:44.000 Bro, he is flexing his snap his spine.

01:31:45.760 He said, I have a good body.

01:31:47.180 One more strong flex.

01:31:48.220 That dude's going to break his own back, dude.

01:31:50.400 He does look malnourish.

01:31:51.360 Oh.

01:31:51.800 You guys are talking about comedy right now.

01:31:53.060 I'm fucking talking about comedy.

01:31:53.720 My bad, guys.

01:31:55.560 Get a fucking guest, huh?

01:31:58.120 Yeah, dude.

01:31:58.660 If you're going to come back, we're fucking everybody.

01:32:00.540 Get a guest, bro.

01:32:01.620 Get everybody.

01:32:02.360 Get a guest, bro.

01:32:03.620 You first, though, boys.

01:32:04.560 Wow.

01:32:05.960 Back off the kratom.

01:32:07.860 Back off the kratom, you apes.

01:32:10.720 You apes.

01:32:11.480 Bro, you went to China, he changed.

01:32:12.980 Bro, your shirt, bro.

01:32:14.480 Y'all mean now, bro?

01:32:15.560 How about that shirt?

01:32:16.160 Dude, that shirt came with school supplies.

01:32:18.340 Get your fucking life together, dude.

01:32:20.040 Bro, that shirt is for a child.

01:32:23.720 That shirt is for a fat kid.

01:32:28.440 Yeah, I bet, dude.

01:32:30.040 Wow.

01:32:30.540 Does this happen every podcast?

01:32:31.860 No, it doesn't, bro.

01:32:32.640 Those guys are completely out of line, though.

01:32:34.460 That was fucked.

01:32:35.880 It was insane that they live right next door.

01:32:38.300 I mean, what are the odds of that?

01:32:39.820 Yeah.

01:32:40.480 Oh, it's happened before.

01:32:42.200 I mean, just, I mean, yeah.

01:32:43.760 This is the first time they've come over and started shit, though.

01:32:46.300 Yeah.

01:32:46.800 We'll see about that.

01:32:47.380 That's just the beginning, man.

01:32:48.640 Yeah.

01:32:49.760 I hope it's the end.

01:32:51.140 Yeah.

01:32:52.660 But I think we can wrap it up, though, man.

01:32:54.240 It's been a great episode.

01:32:55.260 It's been fun as shit, man.

01:32:56.280 Yeah.

01:32:56.760 It's been good.

01:32:57.220 It was really fun.

01:32:57.740 You're going to be on mine.

01:32:58.780 Yeah.

01:32:59.360 I'm excited.

01:33:00.080 Yeah.

01:33:00.960 I'm excited, too, man.

01:33:01.900 It's called Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum on iTunes.

01:33:04.280 It is.

01:33:04.820 It's called Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum on iTunes.

01:33:07.980 And Jeannie Buss is coming on here.

01:33:09.700 You just had her on yours, right?

01:33:10.540 She was on, yeah.

01:33:11.280 Yeah.

01:33:11.460 She's coming on yours?

01:33:12.220 Yeah.

01:33:13.140 Are you serious?

01:33:13.860 She's the best.

01:33:14.400 She's got to bring me up.

01:33:15.200 We're good friends.

01:33:15.820 I love Jeannie.

01:33:16.460 Well, the crazy thing is that, yeah, I just messaged her the other day and said, I'd love

01:33:21.460 to have you on.

01:33:22.220 And then I'm looking through your guests, and I was like, wow, what a smart guy.

01:33:26.200 You know?

01:33:26.580 Did Siri just start talking?

01:33:28.180 I don't know.

01:33:28.760 But Jeannie is, she's an awesome guest, and she's so open to talk.

01:33:32.820 We talked about her life and shit.

01:33:34.240 She's great.

01:33:34.720 Did you guys ever date her now?

01:33:36.020 No, no, never, never, never.

01:33:37.380 She's always a good friend.

01:33:37.840 She's a pretty lady.

01:33:38.680 She's a beautiful lady.

01:33:39.840 Very charming.

01:33:40.380 I think I mentioned Phil Jackson's cock on my podcast with her.

01:33:43.380 Really?

01:33:43.820 Yep.

01:33:44.400 I asked her if it was big.

01:33:46.060 What'd she say?

01:33:47.120 She said, just look at his hands.

01:33:49.840 She told me, she said, I wouldn't take it in the first round, but I drafted him in the

01:33:52.940 third or fourth.

01:33:53.640 That's what she said.

01:33:54.680 Really?

01:33:55.200 Yeah.

01:33:56.060 I think that's a compliment.

01:33:57.560 I don't think so.

01:33:58.300 There's only two rounds in an NBA draft, so that was a lucky insult.

01:34:01.320 Oh, there's only two drafts.

01:34:02.380 See, I don't know anything about basketball, so that is an insult.

01:34:04.640 How's that happening in Indiana?

01:34:06.420 I know, man.

01:34:07.360 I know, right?

01:34:08.280 Wow, that's so true.

01:34:08.700 Thanks to that.

01:34:09.100 Where it started.

01:34:09.780 That's unlike you, Nick, to talk to me like that.

01:34:11.500 Are you starting having a schizophrenic?

01:34:12.820 Henry Ward?

01:34:13.660 I think so.

01:34:14.260 I think it's, what was the other?

01:34:17.220 Bipolar or whatever.

01:34:18.440 Yeah.

01:34:19.020 Borderline.

01:34:19.480 Dude, that's Jimmy Chitwood country, isn't it?

01:34:21.520 And you fucking didn't even.

01:34:23.180 Dude, that's Larry Bird country.

01:34:24.740 That's fucking Michael Jordan's estate over.

01:34:27.560 Milo and Otis.

01:34:28.480 Yeah.

01:34:28.960 That's Jimmy Dean down on the farm.

01:34:31.980 Oh, Bob Evans, dude.

01:34:33.360 Bob Evans down on the farm.

01:34:35.700 Fuck yeah, dude.

01:34:36.260 I had all that shit.

01:34:37.360 Yeah, Ku Klux Klan.

01:34:38.740 Yeah, well, I don't.

01:34:39.980 Yeah.

01:34:40.200 It was Indiana.

01:34:41.180 Was it?

01:34:41.640 Yeah, a lot of people blame the South, and I say it a lot.

01:34:43.900 I love Indiana, but you know what I'm saying?

01:34:46.700 Take back your product.

01:34:48.080 We didn't start it.

01:34:49.080 Do you remember Pizza King?

01:34:50.480 Do you have Pizza King or Pizza Chef or Druthers?

01:34:53.400 Uh-uh.

01:34:53.680 We had somebody that killed us out of a Little Caesars one time, though.

01:34:56.800 Mr. Gaddy's.

01:34:57.800 Oh, we had Mr. Gaddy's, dude.

01:34:59.280 Yeah, Mr. Gaddy's.

01:34:59.640 I miss Mellow Yellow, dude.

01:35:01.180 Mellow Yellow.

01:35:01.900 The soda?

01:35:02.320 Maybe some Pib.

01:35:03.560 Oh, yeah.

01:35:04.260 Dude, my buddy got a can of Mr. Pib one time, opened it.

01:35:07.300 It was so thick, it wouldn't even come out of the fucking can, bro.

01:35:10.880 How crazy is that?

01:35:11.700 Do you still drink it?

01:35:12.540 Huh?

01:35:13.340 He tried to suck some of it out.

01:35:16.320 That's fucking awesome.

01:35:18.160 And that's America, dude.

01:35:19.320 That's America.

01:35:20.920 And I'm trying to think of anything else we wanted to cover.

01:35:22.720 Not much.

01:35:23.160 And you know Gianni, who does our booking, right?

01:35:26.140 Yeah, he's awesome.

01:35:27.060 I play ice hockey with him on Monday nights.

01:35:27.740 He's an actor, too.

01:35:28.780 Yeah, I didn't know he was an actor.

01:35:30.560 He doesn't sleep, dude.

01:35:31.160 He's a good hockey player, though.

01:35:32.040 I watch his Instagram videos.

01:35:33.340 He lives with a bunch of little guys.

01:35:35.340 They're all smaller.

01:35:35.900 How old is he?

01:35:37.100 26?

01:35:37.880 Or 40.

01:35:38.540 He looks like he'd also be about 45.

01:35:39.940 Could he be about 40?

01:35:40.900 If he dyed his hair on the sides, if he dyed it gray on the sides, he could easily be 40.

01:35:47.220 Yeah, one of those old sort of short.

01:35:49.180 Like a small Dutchman.

01:35:50.500 Yeah, yeah.

01:35:51.260 Small Dutchman.

01:35:52.360 A flying small Dutchman.

01:35:53.900 Yeah.

01:35:54.080 Nice guy, though.

01:35:54.920 Nice guy.

01:35:55.720 Funny.

01:35:55.940 Definitely seems like he'd be in a...

01:35:56.540 I've seen him naked.

01:35:57.380 Have you really?

01:35:57.820 Yeah.

01:35:58.920 Well, I'm in the locker room.

01:36:00.200 Yeah.

01:36:00.560 With Tom.

01:36:01.320 Really?

01:36:02.120 No, no.

01:36:02.640 I have...

01:36:03.220 Well, you know, we get changed in the locker room.

01:36:05.080 I don't...

01:36:05.320 I didn't try to see him naked, but you're naked around guys, you know?

01:36:07.940 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:08.420 What round would you draft him in?

01:36:09.920 Yeah.

01:36:10.220 Oh, I didn't look...

01:36:10.820 I really didn't look at it.

01:36:11.880 It was like, you know, those glances aren't even...

01:36:14.020 They're kind of just peripheral, like, moments that you just, like, block out.

01:36:18.180 You don't care.

01:36:18.700 It's just a dick.

01:36:19.400 It's another dick in the locker room.

01:36:20.720 It's true.

01:36:21.140 Especially as you get older.

01:36:22.000 Now, that's something that happens when you get older.

01:36:23.060 When you're young, you'll look and you'll take in that dick a little bit with your eyes.

01:36:26.440 Yeah, because it's an envy thing.

01:36:27.980 It doesn't have to be a gay thing, but sometimes if you see a dick, you're like, God, man, why

01:36:31.700 is this dick so big?

01:36:33.320 Yeah.

01:36:33.660 Gosh, why is my dick not as big as that?

01:36:35.260 You know, when you're younger and stuff, then you get older, you're just like, I don't even

01:36:37.500 care.

01:36:37.900 I have the dick that I have.

01:36:39.540 Dude, we...

01:36:40.040 Yeah, well, we had a black kid in our junior high school named Mr. Larry, right?

01:36:44.960 Or middle school, right?

01:36:46.160 He'd been in school so long.

01:36:47.380 Big old hog on him.

01:36:48.000 Oh, he'd been in school 24 years, I think.

01:36:50.220 And this was back when they let you stay in school until you either got it or...

01:36:54.680 They don't let you do that anymore?

01:36:55.500 No, or they gave you a job at the school, right?

01:36:59.040 So I remember he would fucking come in while people are the pisser and he would piss over,

01:37:03.720 he would stand behind you and literally he was so big, he could just piss right over you

01:37:08.980 into the fucking urinal.

01:37:10.180 And that was like his big trick.

01:37:11.500 And then they gave him a job as a custodian, Mr. Larry, bro.

01:37:16.020 And he was...

01:37:16.440 So Mr. Larry just kept working there?

01:37:17.820 He was a student and then just kept working at the institution there?

01:37:20.500 He was a student until he just, they're like, ah, fuck it.

01:37:23.160 You know what I'm saying?

01:37:23.520 Larry's a staple of this organization.

01:37:25.820 We gotta keep him.

01:37:26.700 Student ain't your thing, but you definitely...

01:37:29.520 Custodial services.

01:37:30.360 You're good here.

01:37:31.360 And people like you and you got a job.

01:37:33.360 And you got a huge cock and get pissed right over someone's shoulder.

01:37:36.260 Cocktown, bro.

01:37:38.220 All right.

01:37:39.180 That's a good name for this one.

01:37:40.640 Cocktown.

01:37:43.260 Michael Rosenbaum, you can check out his podcast.

01:37:45.640 It's available on iTunes and Stitcher and every place that podcasts are available.

01:37:49.180 And also a short film, horror film you just directed.

01:37:52.100 I directed this movie, a little short called Fade Into You.

01:37:55.040 It was at Screamfest.

01:37:55.980 And I had a movie called The Neighbor with Bill Fickner's out.

01:37:58.360 It's pretty cool.

01:37:58.980 Check it out.

01:37:59.940 I want to see that Sorority Boys.

01:38:01.440 I'm going to see if I can get into that.

01:38:02.240 Yeah, I think you'll dig that, man.

01:38:02.680 It's me and Harlan just being idiots.

01:38:04.100 And it's a lot of fun and ridiculous humor.

01:38:06.000 And my movie back in the day, I directed it with Swartzen and Harlan.

01:38:09.320 And Marina Baccarin from Deadpool.

01:38:12.060 She's in it.

01:38:13.100 Yeah, back in the day.

01:38:13.980 I think if you like raunchy comedies, you'll fucking love it.

01:38:16.480 Really?

01:38:16.740 Good, good, good fun.

01:38:18.020 Farts, you see dicks, you see everything.

01:38:20.060 Yeah.

01:38:20.780 Well, we'll put all the links.

01:38:22.740 We'll put the links to a couple of those at the top so people can check them out.

01:38:27.220 Thanks, bro.

01:38:27.840 I loved it, man.

01:38:28.340 Yeah, I had a good time.

01:38:29.160 Good to be here.

01:38:29.820 I wish I looked better.

01:38:30.860 With you.

01:38:31.220 You look good.

01:38:31.720 You actually, you've evolved since you got here.

01:38:33.620 Really?

01:38:33.980 Thank God, man, because I was rough.

01:38:35.520 You came in at probably an eight.

01:38:38.080 You're walking out at probably a strong eight.

01:38:40.200 What did I walk in?

01:38:41.000 Like five?

01:38:41.340 Eight.

01:38:41.780 I walked in as an eight?

01:38:43.060 Yeah.

01:38:43.580 How did I walk out as an eight?

01:38:45.420 You did it.

01:38:46.040 Jump where it's been blown.

01:38:52.260 Now I'm just floating on the breeze.

01:38:55.280 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:38:58.240 I must be cornerstone.

01:39:03.500 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:39:08.860 I can feel it in my bones.

01:39:11.860 But it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.

01:39:25.380 Shine that light on me.

01:39:28.640 I'll sit and tell you my stories shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you.

01:39:46.940 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:40:10.120 The answer may shock you.

01:40:12.420 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:40:14.500 Sometimes I won't.

01:40:16.180 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:40:19.100 You have three new voice messages.

01:40:22.120 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:40:25.020 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:40:27.700 Longer than anybody else.

01:40:29.360 So great.

01:40:29.960 Hey, sweetheart, here's a deal.

01:40:33.700 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.

01:40:37.600 Do you know what I mean?

01:40:38.940 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:40:42.680 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:40:44.780 Oh, no!

01:40:47.060 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:40:49.460 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:40:53.640 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:40:57.580 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:41:03.660 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 19, 2018

Michael Rosenbaum ｜ This Past Weekend #114

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