This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 31, 2019


Mike Posner | This Past Weekend #241


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 58 minutes

Words per Minute

185.67775

Word Count

22,022

Sentence Count

2,320

Misogynist Sentences

11

Hate Speech Sentences

24


Summary

In this episode, we sit down with Mike and talk about his first year of backpacking. Mike talks about how he got into backpacking, the challenges he faced, and the people who helped him along the way.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I was in Colorado, and I met this guy named Stevie, and he's running across America the opposite way, right?
00:00:06.960 And we cross. It was a beautiful day.
00:00:09.380 And he actually, I mean, God bless Stevie, but he turned around and walked the wrong way to talk with me all day.
00:00:17.520 Oh, wow.
00:00:17.820 I wouldn't have done that. I love Stevie, but, bro, I'm not going east, bro.
00:00:21.020 Sorry, bro.
00:00:23.120 Sorry, dude.
00:00:23.920 Oh, wow.
00:00:26.320 Shine that light on me.
00:00:30.000 I'll sit and tell you my stories.
00:00:36.640 Shine that light on me.
00:00:42.180 I'll sit and tell you my stories.
00:00:44.920 Were you guys, like, grilling out in the evening, doing any fresh veggies, or did you have, like, a certain caloric intake?
00:00:51.360 Yeah, a stupid one.
00:00:53.540 Really?
00:00:54.100 Yeah.
00:00:54.820 I was wearing this thing, this whoop thing, at the beginning.
00:00:57.760 I lost a battery for it halfway through, but it would basically tell me my output, caloric output.
00:01:03.320 So we were just trying to match it.
00:01:04.980 At the beginning, it was spitting out crazy, you know, like 8,000, 10,000.
00:01:11.220 But I think...
00:01:11.760 It was like NASA kind of on me.
00:01:13.700 I think as I walked more, I started to get more used to it, and I was eating a little less.
00:01:19.320 But, yeah, just eating a lot of food, man.
00:01:22.480 And, man, you had to stop and shit a lot, too, because you're eating so much.
00:01:27.880 Yeah, yeah.
00:01:28.200 I guess you got a lot of shit in your body.
00:01:30.060 That was the worst part.
00:01:31.140 Not the worst part, but it was just...
00:01:32.680 A lot of times, it'd be like just pooping on the side of it.
00:01:35.060 I'm like, man, I want to keep walking, but it's like, fuck.
00:01:37.020 I hate that.
00:01:37.620 I got to stop again, you know?
00:01:38.920 I can't poop if I see broken glass near me, you know?
00:01:41.940 So I think some of that kind of outdoor kind of stuff, I don't have as much strength when
00:01:46.440 it comes to that.
00:01:47.060 Why broken glass?
00:01:48.560 Oh, it makes me nervous, dude.
00:01:50.100 Why not?
00:01:50.960 You know what I'm saying?
00:01:51.680 I'm not letting my asshole open up if there's broken glass nearby.
00:01:56.720 You know what I'm saying?
00:01:57.540 I'm like, I'm no Roman warrior, but I know that, you know?
00:02:03.380 Mike, thanks for being here today, man.
00:02:06.520 Yeah, so you have...
00:02:07.580 And you have two of your buddies that are here today, too.
00:02:09.240 I just want you...
00:02:09.840 I want to acknowledge them.
00:02:11.280 I want to acknowledge them, too.
00:02:12.740 Yeah, man.
00:02:13.300 Will you let us know...
00:02:14.220 Just let the listeners know who they are in case they hear some...
00:02:16.980 Yeah, my buddy Julian's here, who was one of my walk managers.
00:02:21.540 Basically, I walk supported, which means that I wasn't backpacking.
00:02:26.940 As I walked, we had a support vehicle that Julian drove, and he basically sort out a lot
00:02:34.800 of navigation and the food.
00:02:37.220 Basically, all I had to do was the miles.
00:02:39.200 Wow.
00:02:39.360 And I didn't have to carry everything on my back.
00:02:41.300 And I always try to make that clear, because there are people out there right now and every
00:02:46.020 year who do it unsupported.
00:02:49.400 Is there beef?
00:02:50.240 Is there a lot of street beef between people who have...
00:02:52.160 No, mostly everyone's very supportive of each other.
00:02:55.560 Every once in a while, I got a little bit, I think, just because I was more of a public
00:03:01.160 figure when I started, so I think a few people kind of get their feathers ruffled, but that's
00:03:06.400 like 1%.
00:03:07.060 Most of the people are just really supportive of each other.
00:03:11.480 And so Julian, when he would take turns, there was another guy, Colin, basically.
00:03:15.780 Julian would go home for a few months, and Colin would come.
00:03:18.100 They'd switch on and off.
00:03:19.240 Wow.
00:03:19.760 That's amazing to have that much support.
00:03:21.080 I know we were talking about it when you were in the restroom, but just to have that
00:03:23.800 much, like, yeah, to have somebody that's just so patient to be there.
00:03:27.060 Yeah, he was the best, man.
00:03:28.520 He never really got flustered or nothing.
00:03:31.520 Would you get pretty flustered?
00:03:32.740 And I'm like, would it be the end of the day?
00:03:33.820 And you're like, fuck.
00:03:36.360 Yeah, sometimes.
00:03:37.260 You're just tired at the end of the day.
00:03:38.660 But I'm like, I go up and down, you know?
00:03:43.440 I go up and down for sure sometimes.
00:03:45.640 You know, I'm like bouncing off the walls.
00:03:47.420 I'd be a very goofy guy.
00:03:49.280 Other times, it's like a dog in me, too.
00:03:51.680 You know, that's like the sports guy.
00:03:53.540 I go, let's fucking get it.
00:03:55.340 I'm not fucking around.
00:03:56.840 That guy comes out.
00:03:59.080 And then it's everything in between.
00:04:01.540 And I might touch both of those two, three times during the day.
00:04:05.220 I noticed you said, like, yeah, you take in the calories and you would start to learn,
00:04:11.360 okay, I have this input and this output, you know, that you were kind of monitoring in the beginning.
00:04:15.440 Did you start to feel like a machine?
00:04:19.040 I mean, in total, you went 2,800 miles.
00:04:22.500 In the beginning, did you feel more like a human?
00:04:24.840 And by the end, did you feel more like a machine?
00:04:27.040 Or did your humanity kind of grow?
00:04:30.000 I know that's kind of a big question.
00:04:31.180 But it just had me kind of thinking about that.
00:04:33.600 No, it was more the second one.
00:04:35.980 It just became my normal life.
00:04:38.100 You know, it's just what we do.
00:04:40.060 Wake up 5 a.m.
00:04:41.980 And, excuse me, wake up 4 a.m.
00:04:43.760 We walk at 5.
00:04:46.200 Will you guys do it for a pre-walk before the walk or any, like, jog or anything before to, like, get heated up?
00:04:51.680 The first thing I do at 4 is I meditate for 20, 30 minutes.
00:04:57.840 And then, Julian, you have, like, a little fruit out.
00:05:01.860 You know, I have a couple bananas and some peanut butter.
00:05:05.900 Throw that down the hole.
00:05:08.100 And then...
00:05:09.360 That Filipino Thanksgiving right there, bro.
00:05:11.560 You don't mind filming.
00:05:12.320 You don't mind filming.
00:05:12.720 You don't mind filming.
00:05:14.040 And...
00:05:14.480 And...
00:05:14.560 We have a lot of Filipino listeners, too, man.
00:05:18.340 Beautiful.
00:05:19.280 And, you know, I just stretch out a little bit.
00:05:22.240 And then I just try to get out the door as soon as possible.
00:05:24.300 And that's really because it's seasonal.
00:05:28.040 You know, walking in the summer, you know, you got to get those miles in before, you know, it's 3 p.m.
00:05:33.460 And it's 95 with 95% humidity.
00:05:36.940 You want to already have 20 done then.
00:05:39.940 You don't want to be on mile 8 then, you know.
00:05:41.980 Yeah.
00:05:42.540 Wow.
00:05:42.940 So were there some days where you started late and you're like, man, you got in a jam?
00:05:45.840 Like, was that something you kind of learned early?
00:05:47.380 Like, how to...
00:05:48.620 Yeah.
00:05:48.780 The learning curve must have been pretty steep, huh?
00:05:51.380 Yeah.
00:05:51.640 I figured it out.
00:05:52.460 You know, it just worked best for me.
00:05:54.960 I think there's other guys I talk to that are either running or walking across.
00:05:59.600 And they have more a loosey-goosey thing where they would...
00:06:04.240 And I don't use that in a bad way.
00:06:05.700 They're just able to wake up and kind of do what they felt like doing that day.
00:06:10.440 But I don't really work that way.
00:06:13.440 I got to wake up the same time every day.
00:06:15.740 We got to rule on the walk, no snooze button.
00:06:18.440 Damn.
00:06:18.840 No snooze button.
00:06:20.860 No snooze nation, brother.
00:06:22.460 That's crazy.
00:06:23.260 Yeah, it's a P. Diddy quote.
00:06:25.140 Yeah.
00:06:25.480 And he says, two types of people in the world.
00:06:27.360 Those that hit the snooze and those that don't.
00:06:29.560 And then there's this David Goggins quote I love about...
00:06:32.540 He said, you don't hit the snooze button because if you do, you wake up already failing.
00:06:36.320 Damn.
00:06:37.120 And it's just real.
00:06:38.820 So that thing would go off, you know, four in the morning.
00:06:42.200 And I never wanted to wake up and walk zero days that I go, oh, yes, 4 a.m., let's get none.
00:06:49.560 But the big part of me, you know, the big part of me that I actually wanted to accomplish this goal, you know, got my ass out of bed every day.
00:06:58.800 And I thought, you know, when I set out in this walk, I was going to have kind of like a hippy-dippy, free-flowing walk across America.
00:07:10.140 I meet somebody and I stay there in their town for four or five days, catch the vibe.
00:07:17.520 But I start this thing, you know, and at the beginning, I couldn't walk as many miles as I could at the end, obviously.
00:07:24.380 So the first day, I only walked eight miles.
00:07:26.880 You know, on the second day, I think I got 10 or something like that.
00:07:29.700 Yeah, eight miles, yeah.
00:07:30.580 And so I started doing the math and the whole thing, you know, the whole like scheduling navigational part is really based around the mountain.
00:07:40.140 You don't want to be in the Rocky Mountains in winter.
00:07:45.040 Right.
00:07:45.560 You're fucked.
00:07:46.540 Yeah.
00:07:46.800 So I'm starting to do the math.
00:07:48.300 Yeah, you're going to write one of those books where you die at the end like that boy.
00:07:52.060 Well, somebody else is going to write that book.
00:07:54.040 Yeah, Chris McCandless or whatever.
00:07:55.340 I don't know who you're talking about.
00:07:56.160 He ate some bad berries or something or fruit at the end.
00:07:57.960 Oh, you're talking about the incident wild?
00:07:59.880 Yeah.
00:08:00.100 So at least you got jewelry when covering your fruit, you know what I'm saying, tasting your fruit for you first in the morning.
00:08:04.980 And if he's still alive at 6.15, you're like, well, let's fucking rock, bro.
00:08:10.620 Because that boy died at some bad berries or something.
00:08:12.960 That's right.
00:08:13.900 Quick question.
00:08:14.660 So I don't forget, did you have a music that was on your alarm every day that you would wake up to?
00:08:18.600 Was it just a?
00:08:19.360 No, it's just my watch.
00:08:20.900 Oh, just your watch.
00:08:21.660 Okay, it's just a watch alarm.
00:08:22.740 Yeah.
00:08:23.280 Right.
00:08:23.700 Just a bam, bam, bam.
00:08:24.820 Yeah, well, it's interesting.
00:08:26.380 You know, when I first started the walk, because I was removed from basically all my friends and family, I noticed I was actually on my phone more.
00:08:39.760 You know, I always thought, like, I'll be out in nature.
00:08:41.620 And then lo and behold, I'm out walking across America, walking across New Jersey and Pennsylvania, and I'm on my phone, like, all the time.
00:08:49.820 Like, I'm taking pictures of every fucking flower and put them on Instagram, all this shit.
00:08:55.260 And I realized, like, I don't know, a couple weeks in or a month in, like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
00:09:00.520 Yeah.
00:09:00.940 Like, you could play on your phone anywhere, man.
00:09:03.460 You're missing.
00:09:04.160 Yeah, it started to come back.
00:09:05.100 Even if we look at your chart, like, on the post, I mean, we have your, you know, mikeposner.com, and it shows your walk across and the path that you took.
00:09:13.940 Yeah.
00:09:14.460 It shows where you had social media posts.
00:09:16.600 And there's a lot in the beginning.
00:09:18.200 And then the second half, it's an eighth as much, it looks like.
00:09:22.820 Yeah.
00:09:23.040 But, I mean, it's interesting.
00:09:23.680 Yeah, something happened in there where you're like, oh, man, I'm.
00:09:26.800 Well, I started off, yeah, just realizing I was fucking missing it.
00:09:30.240 I was on it too much.
00:09:31.480 And then I was in Colorado, and I met this guy named Stevie.
00:09:36.560 And he's running across America the opposite way, right?
00:09:40.360 And we cross.
00:09:41.240 It was a beautiful day.
00:09:42.780 And he actually, I mean, God bless Stevie, but he turned around and walked the wrong way to talk with me all day.
00:09:50.660 Oh, wow.
00:09:51.180 I wouldn't have done that.
00:09:51.900 I love Stevie, but, bro, I'm not going east, bro.
00:09:54.560 Sorry, bro.
00:09:56.660 Sorry, dude.
00:09:58.620 Yeah, bro.
00:09:59.900 So.
00:10:00.460 Grab your east, Stevie.
00:10:02.440 So he walked.
00:10:03.340 That's east Stevie, dude.
00:10:04.480 We ain't messing with that guy, bro.
00:10:06.100 He walked.
00:10:07.100 He walked my way.
00:10:07.740 We had a guy like that growing up, dude.
00:10:09.360 This boy named Shane.
00:10:10.200 Shocker, dude.
00:10:10.440 He would only go one direction.
00:10:11.740 Yeah.
00:10:12.220 Yeah, that was his own thing.
00:10:13.600 Huh?
00:10:13.900 Which direction?
00:10:14.500 It was kind of like that.
00:10:16.120 But every time you saw him, dude, he was coming at an angle.
00:10:20.640 And he walked shoulder first like he was a shark.
00:10:23.340 This dude was baffling, bro.
00:10:24.820 But you would see him.
00:10:25.700 You'd just be hanging out around town, and you'd fucking see Shane go by, bro.
00:10:29.200 Fucking one direction.
00:10:30.420 Shane's shoulder first, dude.
00:10:32.340 Out of control.
00:10:33.260 Yeah, just looking for.
00:10:34.540 I don't know what he was looking for, dude.
00:10:36.040 Pirate ships.
00:10:36.700 I don't know what he was looking for.
00:10:37.760 A fucking hot current.
00:10:39.420 That dude was like.
00:10:40.080 It was almost like he was caught in an air current just fucking cruising the world.
00:10:43.740 But I don't know what happened to him.
00:10:45.620 I think something probably happened to him.
00:10:47.120 He left school once and never came home, dude.
00:10:49.000 Oh, dude, he was shoulder first, boy.
00:10:51.220 You know what I'm saying?
00:10:52.080 That human shark, bro.
00:10:53.700 He was just moving.
00:10:56.320 Oh, my God.
00:10:57.400 Was it hard to start to separate yourself from social media?
00:11:00.420 I mean, because there's, there's, this must be weeks where you don't do a post, where
00:11:04.800 you don't have a social media post.
00:11:05.880 I actually don't know if that's exactly what the fuck those stars mean.
00:11:10.260 I don't, I'm not sure.
00:11:13.220 But no, I would do.
00:11:14.200 But it definitely became less, like you're saying.
00:11:16.060 I would, I stopped using my phone when I was walking.
00:11:19.500 So anyway, I met Stevie.
00:11:20.680 Here's the thing.
00:11:21.440 I met Stevie and this guy, at the time, I'm walking, supported, 24 miles a day.
00:11:28.240 And he is running, unsupported, 30 to 40 miles per day.
00:11:33.900 And not only that, he looks at me, he goes, yeah, man, I didn't bring headphones on purpose
00:11:38.520 because I wanted to, I wanted to face all my demons and just be there.
00:11:43.560 And so basically, the two days after I met him, I got bit by a rattlesnake.
00:11:49.720 And I thought it wasn't a big deal.
00:11:51.480 I thought I was going to get the antivin and I'd be back walking the next day.
00:11:54.540 It turns out it's a bigger deal than I thought I was in the ICU.
00:11:58.360 I'm in the hospital five days.
00:11:59.660 It takes me three weeks to get back.
00:12:01.380 I start up at my spot that I got bit at.
00:12:03.800 Did you walk out to the same exact spot?
00:12:05.280 Same exact spot.
00:12:06.280 Julian took me there, man.
00:12:07.480 I was scared.
00:12:08.640 I was scared.
00:12:09.600 Yeah, what was that like having to commit?
00:12:11.340 What happened during that three weeks that was, I mean, I definitely went back and saw some posts
00:12:15.740 and stuff, but what was, was, I saw one post you were talking about how comfortable it was
00:12:21.380 almost to be back in like, especially a hospital.
00:12:23.860 Like I love surgery.
00:12:24.940 I love things where they're taking care of you and somebody's coming in and, you know,
00:12:28.540 it's lunchtime, it's Valium, it's Thursday, you know, it's whatever, you know, it's like,
00:12:34.440 it's just so much care for you in like a, in a medical environment.
00:12:40.140 You know, there's the nurses, there's just constant care and it feels good.
00:12:43.000 And, um, and I saw you, uh, talk about where, yeah, it was like almost hard to let some of
00:12:48.740 that, you know, it was like you were back into this real comfortable place.
00:12:51.540 For sure.
00:12:51.560 The real small part of me, you know, you got to understand at the time I got bit by that
00:12:56.220 snake, I'm walking pretty much eight hours a day, completely alone, sweating it out,
00:13:02.600 you know, it's early August and shit was fucking hard, man.
00:13:06.080 I couldn't really sleep cause it was so hot.
00:13:08.540 And so, and my feet felt like they were fucking broken.
00:13:11.940 You know, I wake up in the morning, stand up and it just felt terrible.
00:13:17.440 You know, like I could barely stand up some days.
00:13:19.620 Was it the muscles, the bone, are you getting worn down?
00:13:22.420 Like, uh, it turns out it was blisters too, but it turns out it was just the muscles.
00:13:27.740 They were just soaring away.
00:13:28.820 I'd never even fucking wrap my head around.
00:13:31.500 But, but at the time I thought they were broken.
00:13:33.700 I thought I was going to finish and I go to the doctor and be like, he's going to be like,
00:13:37.260 dude, we got to fix your feet, you know?
00:13:39.000 But it was really, I was kind of a bitch and I just hadn't felt that kind of soreness and pain yet.
00:13:46.920 And, um, basically, yeah, I went to the hospital and people always say, man, was that the hardest day or walk?
00:13:56.100 It's like, no, I wasn't even close, man.
00:13:57.940 Because they got me there and you're right.
00:14:02.300 I was now out of the heat.
00:14:04.080 I'm in air conditioning.
00:14:05.420 I'm now, I'm not alone anymore.
00:14:07.160 I got actually female nurses around, you know?
00:14:11.320 And like doctors, you know, just making sure I'm cool.
00:14:14.980 And, you know, you want something to eat, you just hit a buzzer.
00:14:18.140 They bring the shit into you.
00:14:19.360 That's Salisbury steak, bro.
00:14:20.880 You feel me, dude?
00:14:21.840 God, man.
00:14:24.080 And meanwhile, you know, like online, there's this outpouring of sympathy and support.
00:14:30.960 Oh, it's a way out even if you want it.
00:14:33.060 Oh, fuck yeah.
00:14:34.160 Fuck yeah.
00:14:34.940 You're like, damn, I couldn't have hired a snake to come out.
00:14:38.920 Julian's been training the snake for two months in the van.
00:14:41.960 And finally he let that bastard out.
00:14:43.920 Dude, so, you know, the weak part of me, the little me, he wants to stay there.
00:14:50.400 Wow.
00:14:50.820 He wants to stay getting all that attention, that nice food, that air conditioning, nice
00:14:55.620 bed.
00:14:56.120 I don't have to get up at 4 a.m.
00:14:58.260 All that feels good.
00:15:00.080 And it's very easy.
00:15:03.280 I felt it even in myself a little bit falling into kind of trying to milk it.
00:15:08.560 And you're staying in that spot.
00:15:10.560 And that's what playing a victim is.
00:15:12.420 You know, you're actually creating suffering or making up suffering that's not really there
00:15:17.240 in order to get attention, basically, to get sympathy, to have an excuse.
00:15:23.300 And I had to just have a talk with myself.
00:15:27.500 You know, the big me had to talk to the little me and say, look, you're getting better, motherfucker.
00:15:33.540 You need to go finish what you started.
00:15:36.140 And, you know, the good thing is when I started this, you do something like this and really do
00:15:42.120 anything worthwhile in life, the shit's going to be hard.
00:15:45.540 As you know, to get where you're sitting right now, it wasn't easy.
00:15:49.160 Yeah.
00:15:49.500 You know?
00:15:49.880 Had to work a lot.
00:15:50.720 Yeah.
00:15:50.960 How many times you had to fail and stuff to have what you got now?
00:15:55.840 A bajillion.
00:15:56.860 A lot.
00:15:57.720 Yeah.
00:15:58.020 And so the thing is, you have to have a no matter what clause in any contract you got
00:16:05.640 with yourself.
00:16:06.560 Well, I think it's just interesting you're able to have that conversation with yourself.
00:16:09.780 You know, I've heard you say it a couple of times, the little me.
00:16:13.660 That's right.
00:16:14.160 And we struggle with that.
00:16:15.300 I struggle with that kind of stuff a lot, you know, like the first part of me not wanting
00:16:19.780 to be, not being strong enough, not wanting to, you know, not being brave enough or not
00:16:25.140 thinking that I can or wanting to take the easy way out, you know?
00:16:31.000 And then to try and get this bigger picture, you know, and just tools to say, look, you
00:16:40.780 know, like, you know, you got to move, you know, you got to get going.
00:16:46.860 Like, you got to, there's this little speed bump in the beginning, and if you can get over
00:16:51.500 that, then it's really, it's a lot different.
00:16:54.420 It's that bigger picture, you know?
00:16:56.160 But that little speed bump is so powerful a lot of times, man.
00:17:00.120 And so for you to see that you can have this bigger you that's talking to this little
00:17:03.460 you, yeah, man, I can just totally relate to that, you know?
00:17:08.040 Yeah.
00:17:08.440 And a lot of times, you know, to be more accurate, I didn't really have to talk to myself in that
00:17:14.600 moment because when I started, I had decided I was going to walk across America.
00:17:21.540 Yeah.
00:17:21.920 Anybody can say that shit.
00:17:24.060 But, and that's what I would say publicly.
00:17:26.200 But what I would say to myself is, I'm going to walk across America no matter what.
00:17:32.040 No matter what.
00:17:33.660 So what's that mean?
00:17:34.400 I played this shit out in my head.
00:17:36.820 If I break my leg out here, I'm going to let that mother heal, and I'm going to go to the
00:17:43.180 spot where I broke my leg, and I'm going to finish.
00:17:46.120 I had already visualized that, you know?
00:17:49.660 I had already decided that.
00:17:51.000 So when the snake thing happened, I didn't have to have a conversation with myself.
00:17:55.460 I have to decide, you know, hey, I'm going to go back.
00:17:58.860 And I knew I'm going back, you know?
00:18:02.000 And it helps, you know, I had a lot of support, too.
00:18:06.580 My homie Chad is here, too.
00:18:08.060 You know, sometimes I would call him and be like, dude, my feet feel awful.
00:18:15.160 And he'd be like, he'd go, yeah, motherfucker, they're supposed to, you know?
00:18:23.660 Remember, you're walking across America.
00:18:26.860 Like, dude, that's what you signed up for.
00:18:30.640 And so you start to reorient yourself.
00:18:33.260 You ain't at the footlocker, bro.
00:18:34.940 Your shit is supposed to feel pretty unkempt.
00:18:38.200 These unkempt, dude.
00:18:41.620 That's the wrong adjective, dude.
00:18:43.740 It sounds like my toenails are long and I got fucking hairy feet or some fungus, dude.
00:18:49.940 Oh, I don't know what adjectives are, so.
00:18:52.720 Unkempt, bro.
00:18:54.320 Dude, no, it's like you start to reorient yourself around this hardship because most of my life,
00:19:02.720 basically my whole life, 30 years before I went on this walk,
00:19:06.440 it was oriented around making it more comfortable and just like a bunch of bullshit, you know?
00:19:15.500 It's like, hey, you know, maybe if I play this game a little better,
00:19:20.260 I'll move from this neighborhood in West Hollywood to this neighborhood in the fucking Hollywood Hills.
00:19:26.860 And instead of this, I'll date this person and then I'll feel better.
00:19:33.360 And I'll sort of zoom out on my life and realize I'm playing in a fucking sandbox right now.
00:19:43.100 Yeah.
00:19:43.320 And I'm going, hey, that toy that he has over there looks nice.
00:19:47.180 Let me try that one out, you know?
00:19:50.340 Oh, that toy is cool.
00:19:51.380 Let me try this toy out.
00:19:53.160 It was just wasting my life.
00:19:55.300 And I was doing, quote, what I was supposed to do.
00:19:58.920 Right.
00:19:59.120 I was finishing my albums.
00:20:01.040 And don't get me wrong, I love all my music.
00:20:04.840 It's my heart.
00:20:05.640 But my life was sort of designed by a 21-year-old me trying to break into L.A. and become famous.
00:20:16.140 And I'm 31 and I'm living the same fucking lifestyle.
00:20:19.900 Right.
00:20:20.360 And so there's this incongruency between who I am now and the life I'm living.
00:20:27.660 Yeah, and the channel that you're kind of still kind of wandering.
00:20:30.000 And it's nobody's fault but me.
00:20:32.180 It's nobody's fault but mine.
00:20:33.720 And there is no one that's going to bring those two things into congruency but me.
00:20:40.240 I'll call my manager.
00:20:41.760 He's going to tell me, go back on tour.
00:20:44.100 I love my manager.
00:20:44.980 Right, but that's his job.
00:20:45.860 That's his job.
00:20:46.460 He's going to say, you finished the album, we got support that album going tour.
00:20:50.020 You finished the tour, let's get another album.
00:20:52.940 And he never said those words to me.
00:20:54.760 Right, but no, but that's their job.
00:20:56.240 And that's what they're supposed to do.
00:20:57.800 Correct.
00:20:58.040 And that's what I was supposed to do.
00:20:59.740 Right.
00:21:00.460 But I slowly realized I'm living someone else's life.
00:21:08.800 You know?
00:21:09.320 And that thing fucking sneaks up on your ass, man.
00:21:12.940 Man, it's so funny to say that.
00:21:14.180 It sneaks up on you.
00:21:15.120 It's not some like come to God moment or anything.
00:21:18.580 It's like you slowly realize, man, what I really want to do is this walk, and I'm not doing it.
00:21:28.560 I put it off for five years.
00:21:30.280 Wow.
00:21:31.040 Because something always came up.
00:21:33.540 I had an excuse each year.
00:21:35.600 And you got to start the thing in spring for what we talked about.
00:21:38.920 Oh, right.
00:21:39.480 So, yeah.
00:21:39.880 Not hitting the Rocky.
00:21:40.260 So, every spring, something would come up.
00:21:43.800 And, you know, then I go out on the walk, right?
00:21:48.420 Step one.
00:21:49.120 Take one step.
00:21:50.340 So, I do it.
00:21:51.060 I'm out there.
00:21:51.640 And as I'm going, I meet a lot of people, nice people, good people.
00:21:56.000 And they come up to me and say, hey, you know, what you're doing is very inspiring.
00:22:00.860 I'll say, thank you.
00:22:01.820 And they say, you know, I really like to do something like that one day, but right now, I don't have enough time, or I don't have enough money, or I'm too old, or I'm too young.
00:22:21.560 I heard all that.
00:22:22.540 That's insane, right?
00:22:23.560 You're walking through a middle school, bro.
00:22:25.960 You got to walk around that area, bro.
00:22:28.700 I'm just joking.
00:22:29.160 I meet these, you know.
00:22:30.380 I'm just joking.
00:22:30.820 I know, but they be college kids.
00:22:33.100 No, 100%.
00:22:33.740 Yeah, I can do it later.
00:22:35.620 They feel so much pressure to go get a good job and be successful right away.
00:22:41.200 I'm telling you, I meet an A tier and tell me, yeah, man, I'm just too young.
00:22:44.580 This shit happened in real life.
00:22:46.140 And I'm sitting there like, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:22:48.780 And it's not about walking across America.
00:22:51.180 Fuck that.
00:22:51.780 That was my dream.
00:22:53.520 Right.
00:22:53.660 But whatever that thing is for you, you know, 95% of the people listening to this, 95% of the people I meet,
00:23:00.280 they got a thing like that.
00:23:02.400 And it doesn't have to be a drop everything, quit my job.
00:23:05.660 It doesn't have to be that.
00:23:06.480 It's just a thing that you know you want to do, you are called to do, and you have an excuse why you're not fucking doing it right now.
00:23:15.780 You don't have an excuse.
00:23:16.660 You have a reason.
00:23:18.780 I don't have enough time.
00:23:19.700 I don't have enough money.
00:23:20.440 Whatever it is.
00:23:21.000 You have an excuse wearing a reason as a cape, brother.
00:23:23.120 That's what it is.
00:23:24.060 And that's my contention to your listeners.
00:23:27.960 Whatever that thing is, whether it's starting a business, whether it's hitting a gym, I don't give a fuck what it is.
00:23:33.300 And don't copy my dream.
00:23:36.120 Right.
00:23:36.360 Fuck you, man.
00:23:37.060 That's my dream.
00:23:37.780 Yeah.
00:23:38.020 Whatever your thing is, and your reason for not doing it, that's exactly right what you said, really look at it, look in the mirror.
00:23:49.520 That reason, I can almost guarantee you, is a fucking excuse.
00:23:53.240 Yeah.
00:23:53.460 And it's just your cop-out for not living your life, for taking the easy way out.
00:23:58.920 And, hey, man, we're going to die.
00:24:02.000 You know, it's like a few years ago, my dad died, and my collaborator, Avicii, he died.
00:24:09.700 It's one of my peers.
00:24:10.900 A guy who used to do shows with Mac Miller, he died.
00:24:13.400 In February, one of my friends I grew up with, Ronnie, died.
00:24:16.620 And it's like, hey, man, you know, I'm living healthy.
00:24:19.460 Hopefully, there's no time soon, but you're going to die one day, too.
00:24:23.460 Yeah.
00:24:23.780 And you can either live your life before that happens or not.
00:24:27.980 It's up to you, man.
00:24:29.820 Yeah.
00:24:31.500 Did some of that death that came into your life, do you feel like that was kind of some of the stuff that really threw the gas on?
00:24:39.460 You know, you said it had been a few years where you kind of, you know, something had come up around the springtime.
00:24:46.140 What was it you think that was that last thing?
00:24:48.120 Was it that you'd already told so many people you were going to do this walk?
00:24:51.360 Like, how did that all kind of where it's like, okay, I got to take this step?
00:24:55.540 It was a couple of things.
00:24:56.820 Really, one was Avicii when he died.
00:25:00.880 I sound weird to say this, but there's something beautiful about death.
00:25:05.820 If you haven't been around or had a close one die, you will soon.
00:25:09.680 And each time that happens, I feel like there's this, like, for me, it's about two weeks there where all the bullshit, traps, mind games that I'm usually in, they fade out, and I can see what's actually important to me.
00:25:27.720 Yeah, it's almost like other people, when they do die, or whatever, the thing that permeates from them is this value of existence that really hits the rest of us pretty severe.
00:25:39.360 Yeah, that's exactly right.
00:25:40.640 I think it's just that.
00:25:41.980 It reminds you of your own mortality.
00:25:43.620 And I really believe when you acknowledge you're going to have a death, you can start to live a good life.
00:25:52.640 And so the thing is, that shit always lasts for, like, a few weeks for me.
00:25:57.500 And it'll go away, and I'll start to just get caught up in bullshit.
00:26:00.740 And so, yeah, when Avicii died, it was a big reminder.
00:26:09.420 And I remember just thinking, like, man, I've got to go on the wall.
00:26:11.520 I actually wanted to go, like, immediately, but I didn't have anything prepared or nothing.
00:26:16.780 So I was like, all right, dude, wait until the spring.
00:26:18.860 That's when you do it the right way.
00:26:20.480 Yeah, wait until Julian can tell his mom he's going out of town.
00:26:23.300 You've got to plan a little bit.
00:26:25.060 That's right.
00:26:26.420 You've got to plan a lot.
00:26:27.960 You've got to plan a lot, huh?
00:26:28.920 You've got to plan a lot.
00:26:29.660 You've got to plan a lot.
00:26:31.420 Yeah, it's so funny with that mortality, man.
00:26:33.180 It's so funny how, yeah, it's so funny when I had a buddy that passed away a couple weeks ago.
00:26:38.580 He died of addiction, my friend Tommy.
00:26:40.640 I'm sorry for your loss.
00:26:41.780 Yeah, thanks, man.
00:26:42.920 And he was a beautiful dude, man.
00:26:45.980 But, yeah, we went to his service, and it was just like, man, if he could be doing anything, he would just be alive.
00:26:53.160 That's it.
00:26:53.760 That's the first thing he would be.
00:26:55.180 You know, and it's like, it's so hard to get a ration, to get like a, make your life feel tangible to you sometimes as we get older.
00:27:03.560 You know, when you're young, it feels like so, I mean, you don't really have that much of a concept of being alive.
00:27:08.960 But it feels magical, yes.
00:27:10.120 It's a sense of awe.
00:27:11.400 Yes.
00:27:11.860 A good word.
00:27:12.900 Awe.
00:27:13.300 Sense of awe, man.
00:27:14.480 And then we get older, and it's almost like we get so much in these grooves of society and of life that it's hard to get it back to a level where it feels like tangible, you know, where it feels, where you feel alive and not just kind of part of what's going on.
00:27:31.540 That's right.
00:27:32.420 That's right.
00:27:33.220 Did you have, I can imagine you probably had a lot of experiences of feeling alive on this journey.
00:27:38.160 Yeah, no, so as you're talking, it was like, you know, reminding me that I was, that was why I left, you know, that's why I pulled the trigger on this thing.
00:27:47.220 It was like, a friend of mine said, man, so he starts doing the math, and he's thinking about my career and all that stuff.
00:27:56.740 He's looking, you know, he's going to take you six months to a year, and he says to me, so you're basically giving up a year of your life to do this.
00:28:05.240 I don't know what I thought about for a second, and I go, I'm basically taking one back.
00:28:11.820 I ain't giving up nothing, you know.
00:28:13.980 Now I'm claiming some sovereignty.
00:28:16.500 I'm getting out of those grooves you're just talking about.
00:28:19.660 Yeah.
00:28:20.120 Yeah, I'm setting my ground here.
00:28:21.820 I am myself.
00:28:22.880 It's just cool, you know, when I can boil down, you know, that's the reason.
00:28:26.380 Wow, that's pretty powerful, man, to think about that, of taking your life back.
00:28:29.680 That's right.
00:28:30.160 You know, I can boil down, there's a lot of reasons why I walked, you know.
00:28:36.280 Some of them are small, some of them are big, some of them are shitty reasons.
00:28:40.340 Like, one small reason is I wanted the fucking attention from it.
00:28:43.940 I'm not proud of that.
00:28:44.780 It's a character flaw, right?
00:28:45.940 Right.
00:28:46.280 But I'll try to be real about it.
00:28:47.640 But the main reason I went out, if I can really put, I couldn't even articulate this before I left.
00:28:53.680 I had to do the fucking thing to be able to say it, was I wanted to become somebody that I was actually proud of.
00:29:04.520 So I wanted somebody to say, you know, who inspires you?
00:29:10.400 Who's your hero?
00:29:11.540 Who do you look up to?
00:29:12.340 I wanted to be able to look them in the eye and say, me, you know.
00:29:15.660 Say yourself was.
00:29:18.480 Yeah.
00:29:18.840 Oh, wow.
00:29:19.300 Yeah, but I'm creating this dude in my head.
00:29:22.460 Like, that dude, he walked across America.
00:29:25.220 So he's an idea.
00:29:27.320 And then I go try to become him in real life.
00:29:30.800 And this is just my idea.
00:29:33.780 It's like creating a life that actually inspires you.
00:29:37.000 Right.
00:29:37.200 You know, it's like my goal shouldn't be something that, like, isn't inspiring, isn't cool to me.
00:29:45.880 Right.
00:29:46.080 Like, this walk, you know, it's fucking cool.
00:29:48.420 It's a little less cool to me now, honestly, now I've done it.
00:29:51.040 And I met all these people that have done it, like, in more badass ways and faster, just to be totally honest.
00:29:56.380 But, like, it just inspired me the whole way.
00:29:59.620 You know, it's dope.
00:30:00.400 Other people I tell about it, they're like, dude, you're an idiot.
00:30:03.140 You are a crazy white person.
00:30:04.720 Yeah.
00:30:05.380 And I get that.
00:30:06.520 But this is not about you.
00:30:08.200 This is about me and my life.
00:30:09.700 Right.
00:30:10.080 And I had to send it, man.
00:30:11.960 In this journey for me, I had to do it.
00:30:13.940 That's right.
00:30:14.600 Were you amazed at some of the feelings that started, like, some of the reasoning you did
00:30:19.500 it started to become more clear after you started?
00:30:22.420 Like, was that kind of fascinating to you?
00:30:24.620 Were you like, holy shit, if I hadn't even started on this, I would have never gotten
00:30:28.160 to some of these feelings and revelations and stuff for myself because I couldn't even
00:30:31.760 see them before.
00:30:33.600 Yeah.
00:30:33.940 I mean, I felt like, I still do feel like a completely different person.
00:30:39.000 You know, I was a guy.
00:30:39.860 Even if I look at interviews of myself before, I was kind of like, sometimes I won't punch
00:30:46.120 the Duke guy in the face, you know?
00:30:47.900 Damn.
00:30:48.020 It's like, um.
00:30:48.740 That's wild.
00:30:49.860 I don't even know if other people could see it, but I can see it.
00:30:53.280 Right.
00:30:53.660 I was more, I would like, if you were saying some stuff I didn't really agree with, I'd be
00:30:59.540 like, yeah, man, I would just fucking agree with you.
00:31:01.900 Dude, I was more, I was less real, less authentic, more afraid of conflict.
00:31:08.480 Um, man, just, just like not as, not as good a person, I feel like.
00:31:12.900 And I thought I was going to become, I talked earlier, I thought I was going to have this
00:31:16.840 like kind of hippy dippy walk.
00:31:19.100 And I was, I thought I was going to become like softer, but the opposite happened.
00:31:23.520 I had to tap into like discipline and focus every day.
00:31:28.740 And I became harder, became harder.
00:31:31.900 As a person.
00:31:32.940 Was there, um, yeah, were there, were you surprised that some of the toughness that
00:31:38.640 was in you?
00:31:39.080 Like, did you ever kind of like, did you have some moments where I could see, imagine having
00:31:43.140 some moments like Jesus Christ, man, I didn't know.
00:31:45.900 Because I feel like for me, I always hope that there's certain, there's a certain person
00:31:51.860 inside of me that I don't get to see that much.
00:31:53.580 You know, there's like a power, there's like, you know, someone that's extremely confident
00:31:56.800 and very powerful.
00:31:57.660 And like, did, were you amazed sometimes?
00:32:00.960 Did, did, did, did people that you didn't know, parts of yourself that you didn't know,
00:32:04.400 did it, did they come to the surface sometimes?
00:32:06.300 Yeah.
00:32:06.640 A hundred percent.
00:32:07.420 You know, it was like, uh.
00:32:09.260 That's awesome, man.
00:32:10.420 And so here's the thing, man.
00:32:11.760 Before I left.
00:32:12.380 Imagine you, you never even noticed swimming up to the fucking surface.
00:32:15.120 Like, hey, mate.
00:32:16.100 What up, though?
00:32:16.500 I'm in here too.
00:32:17.460 Yeah.
00:32:17.840 What up, though, man?
00:32:19.500 So, before I left, I had this inkling that there was more in me, a little more in me
00:32:27.580 than I was letting out.
00:32:29.820 And I think, I think that's the problem with a lot, especially men, is we know we got this
00:32:36.140 fucking dog inside.
00:32:38.500 We got, got this greatness, untapped motherfucking thing.
00:32:42.920 And you don't know what the fuck to do with it, where to point it.
00:32:46.200 And a lot of times we can point it the wrong direction and it, it fucks everything up.
00:32:51.860 Easy direction.
00:32:53.040 And I had this little, I just had this inkling, there's a little more in you than you are given
00:32:58.940 to the world.
00:33:01.140 So, I went out on this thing and I found, I was wrong.
00:33:07.820 It's not a little more in you, it's a fuck ton more in you, man.
00:33:11.760 Wow.
00:33:12.180 You know?
00:33:12.760 It's way more, like, it's way, and I still don't know.
00:33:15.300 I feel like I just scratched the surface of it.
00:33:17.940 So, you know, now it's my job to keep exploring and figure out what that looks like for me.
00:33:23.140 And that's what I'm up to now, you know?
00:33:25.540 But here's the thing, man.
00:33:26.840 It's not like I'm a, like, you're not going to recognize me.
00:33:29.840 I still got all my, like I said, I'm a goofy guy too.
00:33:33.320 But there's this dog part of me, you know, that I think I was trying to suppress a lot
00:33:40.420 earlier in my life, you know?
00:33:42.960 And I look in the mirror, you know, maybe do some affirmations or meditation.
00:33:47.460 You say, I am tough or I'm resilient.
00:33:49.240 I'm confident.
00:33:50.480 But it's like...
00:33:51.240 My name is Hawkeye or something like that.
00:33:53.140 Yeah, it's like, you don't really fucking...
00:33:54.480 Yeah, I'm fucking Hawkeye, dude.
00:33:55.900 Yeah, I'll give myself crazy names, bro.
00:33:58.420 You don't really believe yourself.
00:34:00.040 Because you haven't given, you haven't shown any evidence in your real life.
00:34:05.000 So it's like, go do something fucking tough.
00:34:07.480 And you actually don't need to do an affirmation, you know?
00:34:11.140 Right, because then it starts to live in you.
00:34:13.000 It's you.
00:34:13.920 You did it, you know?
00:34:15.240 You did it.
00:34:16.320 You did it.
00:34:17.220 But so, I'm still me, you know?
00:34:20.680 But...
00:34:21.080 A little more of you now.
00:34:22.040 There's more of me, you know?
00:34:23.560 And I needed those parts to come out.
00:34:26.200 Some other dude, you know, might be too fucking hard.
00:34:28.620 Maybe you need to soften up a little bit.
00:34:30.480 Yeah, yeah.
00:34:30.880 You might want to take a different route.
00:34:32.180 For my journey, man, this was...
00:34:33.900 That's what I needed.
00:34:34.800 Yeah.
00:34:35.180 That burning man, they say, you don't get the burn you want, get the burn you need.
00:34:38.680 And I feel like that about the walk, too.
00:34:40.340 And I say, you don't get the walk you want, you get the walk you need.
00:34:42.900 Wow.
00:34:43.360 You know?
00:34:45.220 Tell me about some of the vagrants out there, bro.
00:34:47.600 Because I grew up, you know...
00:34:49.600 We grew up along...
00:34:50.600 I used to live back behind this...
00:34:52.320 They had a river behind us, and they had a rest area on the other side of it.
00:34:55.580 That was a backup of the interstate.
00:34:57.220 Okay.
00:34:57.520 It's a rest area.
00:34:58.700 A lot of men would meet up there, you know, doing drugs, doing sex, you know, river sex.
00:35:02.880 Doing sex, dude.
00:35:04.240 Oh, yeah.
00:35:04.580 What is river sex?
00:35:06.100 Sex out there right by the river, bro.
00:35:08.040 Copy that.
00:35:08.920 You know?
00:35:09.460 And so...
00:35:10.660 And anyway, but a lot of it was drug-induced kind of sex.
00:35:13.380 You know, it was a lot of...
00:35:14.200 Yeah.
00:35:14.380 These men probably had families and stuff, but they were doing drugs.
00:35:17.580 But did you get to stop in any unique rest areas?
00:35:20.820 Was there some decent, you know, road warriors out there?
00:35:26.320 Did hitchhikers look at you like, oh, look at this fucking guy.
00:35:29.140 Look at this show-off, you know?
00:35:30.480 I looked at...
00:35:31.280 You know, at the time, I had the big beard, like I do now.
00:35:35.160 Big hat.
00:35:35.940 You know, I had two walking sticks.
00:35:37.280 I looked pretty fucking crazy, so no one really gave me, no one gave me really, like, much
00:35:42.560 of a hard time.
00:35:43.200 A few dogs came out, you know, looking for, looking for a, looking at the tango.
00:35:48.640 I had to fend them off with my sticks.
00:35:51.040 And what state was that in where these dogs are at?
00:35:52.800 I heard that dog...
00:35:53.680 I mean, they're in every state, but the one that came at me the most, I had two in Colorado
00:35:58.860 that were kind of sketched.
00:36:01.360 But, uh...
00:36:02.280 Damn.
00:36:02.700 And I had some dog spray, too.
00:36:04.240 Oh, you did?
00:36:04.720 Yeah, yeah.
00:36:05.480 And what flavor is that?
00:36:06.540 What is it?
00:36:06.940 That's fucking...
00:36:08.100 I don't know.
00:36:09.360 Stay the fuck away from me, flavor, dude.
00:36:11.840 It's nothing good, dude.
00:36:13.480 All right.
00:36:14.620 I'm thinking it's like...
00:36:15.940 All right, dude.
00:36:16.580 I want to tell you my rest area story, man.
00:36:20.300 I think you like this.
00:36:21.020 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:36:21.360 These are good.
00:36:22.160 Dude, these...
00:36:22.960 Don't get too comfortable.
00:36:24.280 I'm sorry, man.
00:36:24.980 I'm fucking about to put some lotion on.
00:36:26.740 I don't want to hear this.
00:36:28.040 The way you say, yeah, your voice drops an octave, dude.
00:36:30.880 The fuck?
00:36:31.560 Yeah.
00:36:31.880 Yeah.
00:36:32.520 Yeah.
00:36:33.900 Jesus, dude.
00:36:35.140 We were in Ohio.
00:36:40.440 I knew it, bro.
00:36:41.880 What was the city?
00:36:43.080 The Walmart.
00:36:44.240 Do you remember?
00:36:44.880 I feel like it was close to Dayton.
00:36:46.360 No, it was close to Dayton.
00:36:47.720 It was close to Dayton.
00:36:48.560 Yeah.
00:36:49.060 I don't remember the city name.
00:36:50.400 But we were in Columbus.
00:36:53.020 And they were like, where are you headed next?
00:36:55.640 I forgot the city name.
00:36:56.680 It's the city west of Columbus.
00:36:59.360 You probably zoom in.
00:37:00.080 Akron?
00:37:00.780 No, it wasn't Akron.
00:37:01.760 It's a smaller city.
00:37:02.900 But there's a Walmart there.
00:37:06.860 It's there.
00:37:07.580 Oh, to the left is Dayton.
00:37:11.020 Springfield.
00:37:11.660 Yep.
00:37:12.180 Okay.
00:37:12.680 Springfield.
00:37:13.900 So we're in Columbus.
00:37:16.060 And everyone's telling us, yeah, man, just be careful when you get to Springfield.
00:37:20.520 So, you know, just watch out.
00:37:24.300 And people say that to you the entire way.
00:37:26.780 Yeah.
00:37:27.080 And usually the places they warn you about are the best places.
00:37:30.200 Right.
00:37:30.700 So I'm not really listening to them.
00:37:33.500 And Julian, you know, part of his job would be to figure out where we're going to sleep each night.
00:37:40.740 So, like I said, we had a support vehicle.
00:37:44.180 So if there's Walmarts, we could usually park there.
00:37:46.900 They usually let us park there.
00:37:47.980 And so just like that, there was a Walmart right on our route, which is perfect.
00:37:54.560 And he's like, that's where we'll stop that night.
00:37:57.580 So I get there and I take my shoes off.
00:38:02.380 You know, I stretch and stuff.
00:38:04.600 And I'm like, hey, Julian, I'm going to go take a dookie in the Walmart.
00:38:09.460 Oh, yeah.
00:38:10.040 I've done that, dude.
00:38:11.060 So let me go make a deposit in the bank.
00:38:13.720 Yeah.
00:38:14.500 Let me go drop the kids off at school.
00:38:17.980 Why are you laughing at that?
00:38:21.900 That's not a good joke, dude.
00:38:23.000 There's nothing more.
00:38:24.600 I think there's nothing more American than, you know, pulling over the shit at a Walmart.
00:38:28.900 That's pretty much it, dude.
00:38:30.420 Jesus.
00:38:31.300 And I've done that.
00:38:32.140 And I love it.
00:38:32.720 I love being in there.
00:38:33.740 Except sometimes people write stuff on the outside wall.
00:38:37.220 I find a lot of people have markers out there.
00:38:39.360 But anyway.
00:38:41.320 Let me.
00:38:41.720 Let me.
00:38:42.540 Let me get back in your story.
00:38:43.440 There's something worse than a Sharpie message on a stall.
00:38:49.820 I'm going to tell you what happened.
00:38:51.800 So I get to the stall in the back stall.
00:38:57.300 You know, I think I'm in a freaking handicapped stall, which I shouldn't be.
00:39:02.320 Well.
00:39:02.720 You know.
00:39:03.580 But my legs stretched out.
00:39:05.620 You burned it, bro.
00:39:06.220 You just walked there.
00:39:06.680 Yeah.
00:39:07.040 You just walked.
00:39:07.720 Okay.
00:39:08.120 So.
00:39:08.440 The complete opposite of being handicapped is walking all the way to the Walmart.
00:39:11.180 Listen, man.
00:39:12.360 Listen.
00:39:13.380 I'm sitting on this toilet.
00:39:14.980 Okay.
00:39:16.240 And I've been on the toilet for like.
00:39:20.820 120 seconds.
00:39:22.320 All right.
00:39:23.100 I'm just getting started.
00:39:24.520 Oh, yeah.
00:39:24.860 All right.
00:39:25.180 Told you how much I eat.
00:39:26.220 The prelims, baby.
00:39:27.300 Yeah.
00:39:27.400 The prelims.
00:39:27.600 It's just a prelim.
00:39:28.680 I got my phone out.
00:39:30.080 I'm comfortable, dude.
00:39:31.800 I'm staying here.
00:39:33.100 I'm downloading an episode or something.
00:39:35.720 We're going to be here.
00:39:38.460 Listen, man.
00:39:39.800 So.
00:39:41.200 I'm just in the prelims.
00:39:42.760 I hear somebody knock on the door.
00:39:45.160 And I can see there's another stall next to me.
00:39:48.620 Empty.
00:39:49.420 They knock on the door.
00:39:52.280 They're like.
00:39:53.480 Hey, are you okay?
00:39:55.900 I'm like.
00:39:56.760 Yes.
00:39:57.400 I am okay.
00:40:00.080 All right.
00:40:01.280 All right.
00:40:02.000 My fucking spidey sense is tingling, dude.
00:40:04.900 Why is this guy knocking on the door when there's an open stall here?
00:40:07.800 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:08.120 That's alarming.
00:40:09.000 That's alarming.
00:40:10.140 So.
00:40:10.960 Then he follows with.
00:40:13.760 Do I know you?
00:40:15.520 No.
00:40:17.100 Bro.
00:40:18.480 It was a fan.
00:40:19.820 Dude, it was.
00:40:20.340 I go.
00:40:21.040 Nope.
00:40:22.020 I go.
00:40:22.740 You do not know me.
00:40:24.720 I am clear as day.
00:40:26.920 You do not know me.
00:40:28.400 How are you going to know somebody that's just in a shitter behind a door?
00:40:33.320 Unless you're David Blaine, bro.
00:40:34.920 He's like.
00:40:35.200 What the fuck is this dude?
00:40:36.860 He's like.
00:40:39.060 He's like.
00:40:40.820 Are you sure?
00:40:42.680 I say.
00:40:43.440 Yeah, I'm sure.
00:40:45.060 I'm sure.
00:40:45.860 He's like.
00:40:47.980 Let me just check.
00:40:49.220 I think I know you.
00:40:50.680 Oh, damn, bro.
00:40:51.260 I see two.
00:40:52.080 Okay.
00:40:52.440 I'm sitting down at the thing.
00:40:54.380 I see two hands with clear rubber gloves on.
00:41:01.200 Not rubber.
00:41:01.780 Like the doctor has.
00:41:03.540 Yeah, yeah.
00:41:04.120 But they're.
00:41:04.520 Not even like the.
00:41:05.360 Like a dentist?
00:41:06.180 Like the subway people wear.
00:41:08.440 Uh-huh.
00:41:09.040 You don't have the clear gloves.
00:41:10.180 Oh, wow, dude.
00:41:11.580 Not even a good doctor.
00:41:12.760 Two of these.
00:41:13.500 Creep over the.
00:41:14.980 I'm looking at the top of the thing.
00:41:16.660 The sandwich maker mittens.
00:41:18.900 Over the top.
00:41:20.040 Over the top of the stall.
00:41:22.860 He's like a pull.
00:41:23.900 I see.
00:41:24.460 No way.
00:41:26.020 Two eyes.
00:41:27.020 No way.
00:41:27.560 Like this.
00:41:29.240 Okay.
00:41:29.900 See, the eyes come over.
00:41:30.940 I'm sitting down.
00:41:31.880 I'm in a vulnerable position.
00:41:33.260 Yeah, definitely, man.
00:41:33.900 I go, dude.
00:41:35.480 What the fuck are you doing right now?
00:41:39.400 Okay.
00:41:40.180 Mean Posner came out, dude.
00:41:42.320 Mean Posner.
00:41:43.440 It wasn't.
00:41:44.820 I go, what the fuck?
00:41:46.060 He go.
00:41:46.500 He drops back down.
00:41:48.760 Gloves disappear.
00:41:49.580 He goes, oh, I'm sorry.
00:41:50.920 I'm sorry.
00:41:52.300 I go, what the fuck are you?
00:41:54.180 He goes, I just thought you needed help.
00:41:56.340 You were in there a long time.
00:41:57.440 I go, I've been in here two minutes, man.
00:41:59.900 What are you talking about?
00:42:03.060 I didn't hear anything else.
00:42:04.320 I think he left the room, but I'm fired up, man.
00:42:07.500 Oh, and that's hard as shit when you're real fired up.
00:42:09.180 Yeah.
00:42:09.880 You know?
00:42:10.600 Oh, yeah, I do.
00:42:12.040 Actually, it wasn't that hard as shit, man.
00:42:13.660 Really?
00:42:14.000 Yeah, I finished my business.
00:42:15.460 So, I finished my business.
00:42:16.560 But I'm fired up, and I'm ready to, like, fight this guy.
00:42:19.180 Oh, yeah.
00:42:20.260 And I open the door.
00:42:21.140 He's not there.
00:42:21.640 And I was using, you know, Sherlock Poe's, you know, I was looking at those gloves.
00:42:28.060 I think he's probably at the subway.
00:42:29.500 I think he's a subway employee.
00:42:30.540 So, you go looking for him.
00:42:31.320 I go looking for him.
00:42:32.420 Oh, dang, bro.
00:42:32.960 Dude, I never found him.
00:42:34.740 But I still don't know what was, like, is there some kind of weird meetup that happens in that bat?
00:42:39.280 Like, what do you make, what theory do you have to explain that?
00:42:43.500 I could see, man, it was daytime.
00:42:45.820 Daytime.
00:42:46.520 Probably 4.30 p.m.
00:42:48.700 I could see that.
00:42:49.500 But the sun is out.
00:42:51.080 Sun is out.
00:42:52.240 I could see people getting off work, and maybe you.
00:42:56.360 Let me swallow before you say this shit.
00:42:58.180 If you gave out a certain vibe or something, you walked through the store, did you think you were doing that?
00:43:02.680 Were you kind of peacocking as you went through it or something?
00:43:05.180 Dude, everywhere I went on this walk, I did not feel.
00:43:08.360 I stuck out.
00:43:09.580 So, I'm perpetual peacocking on this walk.
00:43:11.900 So, maybe this guy had daydreamed that a man came in like you, you know?
00:43:15.580 Maybe.
00:43:16.200 That's the thing.
00:43:16.860 You don't know where his life is meeting you at.
00:43:18.960 But that's wild, dude, to do a pull-up in those fucking.
00:43:22.160 Dude, he popped up, man.
00:43:24.680 That's crazy.
00:43:25.980 It was slow.
00:43:27.020 It was slow.
00:43:28.380 I wonder who he thought you were.
00:43:32.120 I'm thinking there's some sort of weird, weird meetup for, like, truckers.
00:43:36.400 Oh, I'm sure there's some type of.
00:43:37.680 Like, Tuesdays at 4.30, meet in the back.
00:43:39.760 Why?
00:43:39.900 The quick, let's discuss why the gloves were on, though.
00:43:44.560 What do you make of that?
00:43:45.740 I think to not leave fingerprints, probably.
00:43:47.700 Oh, my God.
00:43:48.800 You know what I'm saying?
00:43:50.240 Oh, my God.
00:43:51.340 Just in case it gets real rectal or something.
00:43:53.440 You never know what this man is.
00:43:54.660 Real rectal?
00:43:55.580 It gets rectal, bro.
00:43:56.680 You got to have a fucking mitten on, bro.
00:43:58.400 Because this dude, if he's out there like that, you know, maybe he's like a pianist, but don't
00:44:04.240 want to, you know.
00:44:05.260 I don't know.
00:44:06.000 That's wild to me.
00:44:07.480 I don't like wearing those.
00:44:08.540 I used to work at a sandwich place, and I don't like wearing those.
00:44:11.820 Dude, you know I hooked up one time with Jared from Subway's sister one time a long time ago.
00:44:15.780 Okay.
00:44:16.760 Tell me more.
00:44:17.380 No, that's it.
00:44:18.080 That's nothing.
00:44:18.540 That's it?
00:44:18.780 Yeah.
00:44:19.500 But it was a long time ago, but it was still, you know, it happened.
00:44:22.020 How did you know who her brother was?
00:44:24.480 People knew.
00:44:25.220 She knew.
00:44:27.220 You know, that was facts.
00:44:28.000 You knew before you met her?
00:44:29.820 Oh, no.
00:44:30.360 I ended up meeting her that night, and people were like, hey, that's Jared from Subway's sister.
00:44:32.980 Oh, they were telling you.
00:44:34.500 Yeah.
00:44:35.260 Okay.
00:44:37.460 Were there, how much fandom did you have across?
00:44:39.840 Because you were a, I mean, you were a, you were a very.
00:44:43.240 Superstar?
00:44:43.720 Yeah.
00:44:43.920 Is that what you're going to?
00:44:44.380 You're a very big, you're a big producer, musician, entertainer.
00:44:51.100 Thank you.
00:44:51.780 And thinker, I think, is something that even more people are probably going to start to
00:44:55.940 see you as, or something that I personally, so I can't speak for everybody, but.
00:45:01.080 I appreciate that.
00:45:02.400 But did, yeah, how much fandom did you run into, or, you know, people that are supporters
00:45:05.820 and stuff?
00:45:06.300 Yeah.
00:45:06.580 Well, first of all, I've had some popular music, but I live a pretty normal life.
00:45:15.200 Most people don't know what my face looks like, which is pretty awesome.
00:45:18.880 You know, I can go to the store or whatever, and it's not a problem.
00:45:22.960 There's a nice freedom with that.
00:45:24.560 Huge, man.
00:45:25.340 And if you, I'm sure you have some friends who are like really famous.
00:45:29.660 It's scary.
00:45:30.460 It sucks.
00:45:31.600 It does suck, doesn't it?
00:45:32.800 It's like, it takes a lot, just a lot of extra work to do normal stuff.
00:45:38.140 And probably something that takes you even further.
00:45:39.840 We talk a lot about in here about like fame and what is the real value in it, you know,
00:45:44.660 and what is like, just how much of a sidetrack it can be to being a human.
00:45:51.680 Huge.
00:45:52.260 You know, I feel bad for a lot of guys.
00:45:54.140 You see a lot of young guys these days who are struggling because of the fame, you know,
00:45:58.420 something you can't live up to as a person, just as one person.
00:46:02.360 That's right.
00:46:02.800 You can't match that, this fictional kind of, you know, ambiance or this crystal ball,
00:46:09.580 you know, or this disco ball that's kind of created.
00:46:12.840 You can't just be that as one person.
00:46:15.440 Yeah.
00:46:16.000 And you see a lot of people, you know, struggling with it.
00:46:19.180 You know, I mean, even Justin Bieber, you see him recently come out about,
00:46:21.500 opening up about a lot of his struggles, which I think is pretty cool.
00:46:25.240 But just the value of fame, I think, is, it's not as valuable, I think, as a lot of people think it is.
00:46:31.440 It's valuable in this way, but not so much in this way.
00:46:38.060 Yeah.
00:46:38.420 There's a sacrifice.
00:46:39.800 Big time.
00:46:40.720 Big time.
00:46:41.260 But to answer your question, man, at the beginning of my walk, I said publicly, I'll walk with anybody.
00:46:51.980 And so people would come from all over, and they'd walk with me, and it was very beautiful.
00:46:58.000 You know, my job when they showed up was to listen.
00:47:00.920 That was my intention.
00:47:02.900 I fucked it up sometimes, a lot, you know, because they start asking me questions.
00:47:08.380 I don't know if I'm talking about myself.
00:47:10.160 Oh, yeah.
00:47:10.720 You know, but my job really was to listen.
00:47:13.860 And there's a lot of people, and I would just ask, you know, every time someone showed up,
00:47:18.800 hey, why did you come here today?
00:47:23.400 What were you looking for?
00:47:25.760 And not in a mean way, just so I know.
00:47:30.160 Right.
00:47:30.600 And it was always different.
00:47:31.840 Some people, they just wanted to go on, like, a wild goose hunt, you know, whatever they call it,
00:47:37.700 because they know roughly where I am, but not exactly, and it was just a fun thing to do on Saturday.
00:47:42.420 Like Easter egg.
00:47:43.340 Like, you're like, there's Easter egg that's missing in the world.
00:47:45.260 Yeah, they just wanted a picture, but some people had some shit they wanted to talk about
00:47:48.980 that they felt like they couldn't tell to anybody else, you know?
00:47:52.620 So it was just different every time, and it was really beautiful,
00:47:55.380 because even if somebody is real excited, you know, as, like, a fan or something like that,
00:48:02.760 you walk, you know, you walk, like, two, three miles, the sun starts beating down on you.
00:48:07.000 Real quick, real quick, you're just two dudes out there.
00:48:12.380 Yeah.
00:48:12.680 So it was really cool.
00:48:14.420 Oh, that's interesting.
00:48:15.260 It's like you could walk right out of your, this, like, encasing kind of that happens sometimes
00:48:21.700 from people knowing you in advance.
00:48:23.440 It takes a minute, and one of my, I would call him a mentor, he's a hospice chaplain.
00:48:30.080 His name's Kevin Deegan.
00:48:31.620 Chaplain Kevin, we call him.
00:48:33.360 And before I left, he kind of gave me a lecture on listening.
00:48:38.380 And he said, Mike, there's three levels of listening.
00:48:40.640 The first is contextual, meaning I say, hey, my dad died two years ago.
00:48:48.520 It's just a fact.
00:48:50.520 It's context.
00:48:51.920 And the second is emotional.
00:48:53.840 It's one step deeper.
00:48:55.180 And that's, my dad died two years ago, and I felt lost.
00:49:01.620 And the third is identity.
00:49:06.000 And that's, my dad died two years ago.
00:49:09.480 I felt lost.
00:49:10.260 But it was the first time I felt like a man changed who I was, or the first time I felt
00:49:16.720 like a real adult.
00:49:18.600 And so, if you, he taught, you know, if you can move the conversation away from step one
00:49:24.180 to two to three, then there can be healing, he says.
00:49:29.780 He says, you know, on that third level.
00:49:32.520 And so, that's why I was trying to listen to people, and it's just certain cues and questions
00:49:38.520 he gave me, where it's just like, tell me more about that, or how did that, you know,
00:49:43.040 what did that change for you, is a question you can ask.
00:49:47.020 Ask people, and you're trying to take it out of small talk.
00:49:50.100 Yeah.
00:49:50.520 Yeah, because you can really connect with people at that level, too, and it makes it so, it
00:49:54.360 feels so good to connect with somebody at a level where you're both just human souls,
00:50:00.740 kind of that, because you can, you know what it's like to need something, and when you
00:50:05.140 hear somebody need something, or people are sharing what they need, man, it's just such
00:50:10.880 a magnet, you know, it's such a comfortable place.
00:50:14.400 It's a gift, you can give to somebody else.
00:50:16.800 Yeah.
00:50:17.100 At any time.
00:50:18.340 Yeah.
00:50:18.980 Just to really be there, really listen.
00:50:22.580 It's pretty powerful, huh?
00:50:24.580 Yeah, man.
00:50:25.460 And the last one he gave me, you know, he said, if all that shit doesn't work, you're
00:50:30.360 saying goodbye, you ask them, if I pray for you, what should I pray for?
00:50:37.580 I asked that question about 20,000 times on this walk, you know, just from New Jersey
00:50:42.680 to California.
00:50:44.640 And people will tell you, man, pray for me, my sobriety, pray for my family.
00:50:51.760 In the Navajo Nation, they say pray for my people a lot.
00:50:54.860 People will say that.
00:50:56.080 Pray for my people.
00:50:56.900 So, you know, and then you get out, you get out of level one, get to go a little deeper.
00:51:02.880 Was that one of the most popular answers, people praying for their sobriety?
00:51:05.360 There's a lot of people, a lot of people with sobriety came out.
00:51:09.320 I wouldn't say like a lot, I wouldn't say like an abnormal percentage, but yeah, some
00:51:13.680 people, you know, the guy I'm thinking of when I say that, it was one of the most touching
00:51:19.440 things happening, things happen on the whole walk.
00:51:25.500 This dude, I was walking in Arizona on the Hualapai Reservation.
00:51:33.340 And I'm having sort of an end of the day, tough day.
00:51:38.680 I think I'm doing 24, 26.
00:51:42.680 And this guy stops, pulls his red F-350, pulls the side of the road ahead of me, and starts
00:51:53.480 to reverse.
00:51:54.140 And I'm like, oh, what's this going to be like, you know?
00:51:59.480 And I'm on like a two-lane busy highway.
00:52:02.680 It's like, you know, speed limit 65, whatever.
00:52:04.900 It's dangerous.
00:52:07.200 So, dude, he like kind of dangerously like crosses the road.
00:52:11.800 I'm like, oh gosh, like don't get hit by a car, please, bro.
00:52:15.300 And he comes over and he's talking to me.
00:52:17.220 He's like, y'all, I've just been following you.
00:52:18.780 And it's an indigenous young man.
00:52:21.060 His name is Rowan.
00:52:24.540 And we just had this little, honestly, I was tired.
00:52:29.340 I wasn't doing any of that shit.
00:52:30.860 Chaplain Kevin told me.
00:52:32.240 I wasn't really listening.
00:52:33.300 I was just thinking about myself.
00:52:34.820 But I remember to ask him that question.
00:52:38.140 I said, if I pray for you, what should I pray for?
00:52:40.500 And he said, man.
00:52:46.560 And he took a moment like that.
00:52:48.200 Yeah, he's just, you know, several years ago, my dad died of alcohol.
00:52:55.120 You know, he got a lot of alcoholism on those reservations.
00:52:57.360 Oh, yeah.
00:52:57.800 And he died of alcohol.
00:52:59.520 And a few years after that, my, I think it was his brother, he died from alcohol.
00:53:10.000 And this is like last year on Easter, my mom died of alcohol.
00:53:16.480 And I was like, you got any of your brothers?
00:53:19.440 He's like, nah.
00:53:20.580 Like, I'm alone now.
00:53:22.040 So I would say, just pray for, I have a problem with alcohol, too.
00:53:26.860 I'm sober now.
00:53:27.920 I can't remember how long, but just pray for my sobriety.
00:53:31.720 You know?
00:53:34.400 And I was like, fuck, man.
00:53:36.200 Shit.
00:53:36.960 I will.
00:53:37.680 You know, I will.
00:53:39.520 And he said, you just wait.
00:53:40.600 Wait here, man.
00:53:41.420 I want to get, I got something for you.
00:53:43.700 He runs across the road again.
00:53:46.040 I'm going to scare him back to his truck, dude.
00:53:48.460 Alcohol ain't going to get this guy, man.
00:53:49.760 It's going to be a damn fucking Corvette.
00:53:52.200 So he goes up to his truck, and he had this little leather pouch, and it's tied to like,
00:53:58.800 you know, you drive the car like this, and there's the little handle there sometimes in
00:54:02.540 the truck.
00:54:03.260 It's tied there real tight, looped around, little leather pouch.
00:54:07.820 He undoes it.
00:54:09.020 He brings it over.
00:54:09.800 He said, hey, man, this is, this is in our tradition.
00:54:15.720 This is sweet grass and sage.
00:54:17.780 And we believe sometimes spirits or souls, they get lost right here where you're walking.
00:54:23.280 And this is just, you know, in our tradition, we believe it's to protect you.
00:54:27.740 And I want you to have it.
00:54:29.440 And I thought, fuck, man, you know, he left, and he put his fucking hand out the window
00:54:38.440 like this, you know, drove by, drove away from me.
00:54:44.720 That shit just, after he left, shit just hit me right in the heart.
00:54:47.800 Like, how did this guy, man, this guy, first off, I'm a white guy walking on his land, you
00:54:53.960 know?
00:54:54.960 Right, which probably, yeah, but traditionally, it didn't really work out well.
00:54:58.040 Nah, we fucked, we fucked them over every single type of way possible, you know?
00:55:03.380 How could this guy be so welcoming to me, so kind, even after everything, he's had such
00:55:13.820 a hard run, you know, and his smile.
00:55:18.360 And, yeah, that's one of the most, yeah, touching moments, that whole walk, man.
00:55:23.100 Especially when you're having a day that's like, yeah, you're at the end of the day.
00:55:26.240 Sometimes you can't be, you know, your best self after, you know, it's hard.
00:55:29.600 You can't always be your best self and do the things you want to do, like you're saying,
00:55:33.600 like some of the guideposts that the chaplain had given you and things like that in conversation.
00:55:38.240 And, yeah, it happens a lot, and it's like you get into a moment, you're like, ah.
00:55:41.200 Ah, and then somebody does for you what you, you know, you want to be doing for them, or
00:55:46.380 what you, you know, it's like somebody brings your journey, what's your thing, they bring
00:55:50.040 it right to you, man.
00:55:51.140 That's powerful, huh?
00:55:52.220 Powerful.
00:55:52.840 Before I left, I brought these sort of like intentions for myself, and one of them was,
00:55:57.360 like I said, listen deeply, and another one was, leave each place I go better than it
00:56:04.200 was when I came.
00:56:05.040 And I, I read that now, and that's one of the things I want to punch old Mike in the
00:56:10.820 face.
00:56:11.980 Like, you, you fucking cocky motherfucker, you think you're going to breeze in to the
00:56:17.300 Wallapai Nation and leave it better?
00:56:19.760 Yeah.
00:56:20.340 Than it was, no motherfucker.
00:56:22.340 You're going to walk there, and because of people's, not just there, but everywhere that
00:56:27.880 you walk, because of people's kindness and grace, they will leave you better.
00:56:32.520 You're not, you know what I mean, I read, I hear that now, so many people, I read it,
00:56:37.280 I'm like, dude, you're, you're so, so, it's cringeworthy, you were so cocky.
00:56:43.760 But it's an, it's a, it's an, for some weird reason, it's a normal train of thought, you
00:56:49.840 know, it's like, I used to think, like, especially with the, when our podcast really started out,
00:56:54.020 you know, a lot of young men would reach out with things that were struggling, and I was
00:56:57.500 thinking, like, oh, yeah, this is great, I have an opportunity to be able to help other
00:57:00.980 people be a part of their life.
00:57:02.780 But then, over time, it's like, I've had so many struggles on my own, that these, it's
00:57:07.800 like, the people that support the Pai are always there for me, so it's like.
00:57:11.780 That's right.
00:57:12.460 It's just interesting, man, it just shows how much that we need each other, you know, it
00:57:16.860 really, that's one thing that I'm constantly, you know, reminded of.
00:57:23.000 I got a question for you.
00:57:24.300 Yeah.
00:57:24.560 I know the story, or the, I think it's the night you got, or decided to get sober, Darryl
00:57:31.060 Strawberry.
00:57:31.420 Oh, yeah.
00:57:32.300 That Darryl Strawberry, dude.
00:57:33.380 Fucking amazing, man.
00:57:34.580 If anybody watching this hasn't seen that, they probably all have, but.
00:57:38.060 Thank you, man.
00:57:38.680 Watch that.
00:57:39.260 That means a lot coming for you.
00:57:39.800 But what happened the next day?
00:57:42.060 What happened the next day?
00:57:43.120 Did you go to a center?
00:57:44.780 What happened?
00:57:45.400 The next day, I flew back out here to Los Angeles, and I'd been partying before I even
00:57:52.220 left to Los Angeles.
00:57:53.100 I'd been doing some cocaine and doing that, and there was still some cocaine on my counter
00:57:57.560 even when I got home, so.
00:57:58.820 Oh, shit.
00:57:59.800 So I did that.
00:58:00.540 You left a little booby trap for yourself.
00:58:02.400 Oh, the worst, bro.
00:58:03.440 So you came back and did more cocaine?
00:58:05.760 Yeah, I had to, man, because I left it right there, you know?
00:58:10.300 And, yeah, so at that point, then the next day, I had some meetings and stuff.
00:58:16.140 I was supposed to do work stuff, and I had to cancel it.
00:58:19.180 And I went into an office of a manager that I had at the time.
00:58:23.720 And he asked, he was introducing me to his manager, boss.
00:58:27.280 So the management company was kind of trying to take him some notice of me, what was going
00:58:31.180 on in my career and stuff.
00:58:33.420 And he said, hey, what's going on?
00:58:35.020 And I just told him, and Darryl Strawberry, I just told him what happened.
00:58:38.300 And, you know, I just, I wasn't doing well.
00:58:41.440 And I just said, you know, I'm not really doing that well.
00:58:44.400 You know, it was the first time I'd gone into a place, I guess, and I don't know if it was
00:58:48.820 the first time I'd gone in and been honest.
00:58:50.260 But, yeah, I did not thinking about what did he, you know, what do I need to do to make
00:58:54.780 my work better or career better or what, try to position myself in here.
00:59:00.360 I said, I just been struggling, you know, I've been, you know, struggling with some cocaine
00:59:04.200 and doing some drug.
00:59:06.180 And he said, well, I go to these meetings if you want to go.
00:59:10.440 It was crazy because the guy who I was kind of scared to talk to, he said, well, why don't
00:59:16.000 you come with me to this thing tomorrow?
00:59:17.700 You know, I go to these meetings.
00:59:18.880 And then the next day I went and then I continued to stay in there, you know, and start to figure
00:59:27.660 out some other stuff because my alcoholism isn't really, I don't know how much I have
00:59:32.340 a problem with drugs and alcohol, but I have a problem with the way that I think and feel
00:59:35.580 about myself.
00:59:37.180 And it's a constant battle.
00:59:40.980 It doesn't, I can't just beat it.
00:59:43.080 You know, it's like, it's one of those things that keeps coming back, you know, I mean,
00:59:47.680 it's that Mike positive, bro.
00:59:48.960 It'll come back day after day, dude.
00:59:50.440 You know what I'm saying?
00:59:50.900 It'll show up across the country, bro.
00:59:52.660 Day after day, it gets up.
00:59:54.720 It gets up before me, my alcoholism.
00:59:56.660 That's right.
00:59:57.240 And it trains and it meditates and it's ready, bro.
00:59:59.480 That shit comes, it'll fucking come off the, you know, I mean, you open a cereal cupboard
01:00:03.180 and that motherfucker will jump out with a fucking little dragon in his arm, you know,
01:00:07.060 it'll do stuff.
01:00:07.840 So it's like, I have to, I got, you know, it's just, it's a never ending battle kind
01:00:12.080 of, but that's what happened.
01:00:14.580 That was like the next day that happened.
01:00:18.200 You still go to the same meeting?
01:00:20.500 I do sometimes.
01:00:22.280 Yeah.
01:00:22.880 Not as much, but I do.
01:00:24.360 And I go to a lot of them still.
01:00:26.460 You know, it had me thinking when you were walking everywhere I go, people say that their,
01:00:31.400 their town is the math capital of the world.
01:00:34.540 You must've heard that all the time, huh?
01:00:36.020 I never heard those words, but pretty much every place I went, I mean, yeah, it struck me.
01:00:42.080 Uh, whether it was the smallest town in Pennsylvania or Indianapolis or, you know, St. Louis, every
01:00:52.040 place I went, I never saw it aside from a lot of needles on the side of highway, especially
01:00:58.000 in Pennsylvania.
01:00:58.580 I mean, those things are fucking everywhere.
01:01:00.460 Really?
01:01:00.880 Yeah.
01:01:01.020 A lot of needles.
01:01:02.140 Huh?
01:01:02.780 Uh, I don't say needles, like they were syringes.
01:01:05.920 I don't know if they had needles on the ends.
01:01:07.540 I couldn't tell, but every place I went, I would meet somebody who say, we have a huge
01:01:12.200 drug problem here.
01:01:13.680 Huge.
01:01:14.500 Every place.
01:01:15.600 That's wild.
01:01:16.460 And white, black, every place I went.
01:01:19.560 Yeah.
01:01:20.540 Yeah.
01:01:20.900 That's one thing I noticed in these programs is that this shit doesn't discriminate.
01:01:23.740 You know, I know some of the most powerful people now in, in entertainment that are,
01:01:27.620 you know, through this program.
01:01:28.660 I mean, I know people that, uh, that have nothing, you know, that have, you know, haven't
01:01:33.960 achieved any of their goals really, you know, or struggling with them.
01:01:36.940 And, and it's amazing to see like the, that that shit doesn't, it'll get anybody.
01:01:42.120 It's pretty powerful.
01:01:43.600 Um, sorry to interrupt the episode here, but I got to let you know about something that's
01:01:48.120 very crucial to your body and your existence.
01:01:52.280 You know, a lot of times you don't know what's going on with yourself and then sometimes it's
01:01:56.260 not that.
01:01:56.740 And what I'm talking about is figs.
01:02:00.580 I think there's something all of us can agree on that nurses, doctors, dentists, and people
01:02:07.400 who work in medicine and healthcare are good people.
01:02:11.920 They're pretty great.
01:02:13.440 They do something special.
01:02:15.160 They contribute.
01:02:16.800 And all of us can think of a time when a medical professional helped us or helped a family
01:02:20.940 member.
01:02:21.320 Well, figs, uh, which is a beautiful little deal that I got from my sister because she
01:02:27.340 is a nurse.
01:02:29.540 Figs is an amazing company that is making scrubs stylish and functional for the people who
01:02:34.580 deserve it most.
01:02:35.880 You don't want a nurse coming in and she's dressed as like a, you know, she's wearing like a,
01:02:41.160 um, just like a life preserver or something like a tank top.
01:02:45.800 That's insane.
01:02:47.660 So figs creates the highest quality medical apparel so that medical professionals look
01:02:53.680 their best, feel their best, and perform at their best every day.
01:02:58.360 Every set of figs is anti-microbial.
01:03:01.940 Protects from germs and bacteria, ridiculously soft, moisture wicking, and features four-way
01:03:09.380 stretch.
01:03:10.440 Because if these people are saving somebody's life, they got to be able to do it.
01:03:14.220 Look, if you have a nurse, a doctor, somebody, dentist, somebody who works in that field where
01:03:18.520 they got to be clean and professional, they might as well be stylish as well.
01:03:23.260 And this is something great.
01:03:24.200 You can get them now or for the holidays.
01:03:27.500 And figs gives back.
01:03:28.520 Every time you shop at figs, they give scrubs to healthcare providers in need around the
01:03:33.320 world through their Threads for Threads initiative.
01:03:37.480 So whether you're one of the awesome humans that works in healthcare or someone that wants
01:03:41.460 to say thanks, figs is going to make that easy by providing you with 15% off your first
01:03:47.140 purchase by using my code Theo.
01:03:49.820 That's right.
01:03:50.540 Get ready to love your scrubs.
01:03:52.600 Head to wherefigs, W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S dot com and enter our code T-H-E-O at checkout.
01:04:02.860 Again, these are people who are doing the Lord's work.
01:04:05.640 So might as well garb them up and make them look very nice.
01:04:09.980 Go to wherefigs.com and use code Theo.
01:04:13.920 Today's episode is brought to you by Uncommon Apothecary.
01:04:17.040 Now, we all got to get well and sometimes you don't know how to do it and you're wandering
01:04:21.360 around and you're like, oh, am I well?
01:04:23.400 And you might not be.
01:04:25.060 Well, CBD can help you.
01:04:27.740 CBD is from the hemp plant.
01:04:30.320 But unlike its sister, Mary Jane, CBD contains less than 0.3% THC.
01:04:36.860 It won't get you high, but it'll stop you from feeling low.
01:04:40.560 Several double-blind studies have shown CBD to reduce anxiety.
01:04:46.540 You know, when I was a child, CBD meant Central Business District.
01:04:50.080 And that's where you'd go to probably get drugs and now CBD is a drug.
01:04:54.180 It's also been shown to alleviate depression as well as pain and inflammation.
01:04:59.600 You can even put some CBD in your coffee in the morning and just get it right in your
01:05:03.240 dang system.
01:05:04.060 That's how wonderful of a drug it is.
01:05:06.480 Best of all, it's legal without prescription in all 50 states.
01:05:11.700 Head on over to ua-cbd.com today and use the code THEO15 at checkout to receive 15% off
01:05:21.280 and see why thousands of people and multi-thousands are switching from prescriptions to a more natural
01:05:28.160 alternative.
01:05:29.580 Prescriptions aren't getting people anywhere.
01:05:31.200 Look at somebody that's on a prescription.
01:05:33.060 They're on drugs.
01:05:33.840 For every item purchased, Uncommon Apothecary will donate $1 to local homeless shelters.
01:05:41.120 And you know good and well you want to see the homeless, you want to see them somewhere
01:05:44.780 else have a little bit of money and doing something, maybe on vacation or somewhere out there.
01:05:48.940 Head on over to ua-cbd.com today and use code THEO15 at checkout to receive 15% off.
01:05:58.280 Again, that's ua-cbd.com and use code THEO15 at checkout.
01:06:05.540 And now, back to the episode.
01:06:08.140 We had some calls that came in and we had so many questions.
01:06:11.560 We want to get to a couple of video questions from some supporters.
01:06:14.720 They come in video, huh?
01:06:15.980 Oh, yeah.
01:06:16.600 Oh, boy.
01:06:17.520 Yeah, these people, they mean it.
01:06:19.260 There's your boy right there.
01:06:20.220 Dude, what do you think his name is?
01:06:21.640 Oh, I'm going to go with Alan.
01:06:23.440 I'm going to go with Jeremiah.
01:06:24.980 Okay.
01:06:25.760 That's Michael.
01:06:27.080 Oh, shit.
01:06:28.020 There we go, bro.
01:06:30.260 Yo, what up, Theo and Mike?
01:06:32.480 Mike, congratulations, man.
01:06:34.540 I'm so happy for you for finishing that walk, doing what you said you were going to do.
01:06:38.660 You freaking delivered, man.
01:06:40.040 So, congrats on that.
01:06:41.600 I have a question for you about false finish lines.
01:06:44.240 So, I've seen you mention that false finish lines have been a big struggle on the walk.
01:06:48.400 You make it to the end of a state, then you just got to keep going.
01:06:51.980 So, my question to you is how do you deal with those false finish lines?
01:06:55.620 You know, you want that reward in your brain.
01:06:58.260 You want to be happy about what you've accomplished, but you just got to keep going.
01:07:02.600 So, I'm curious, like, how you mentally and physically deal with that.
01:07:06.740 Right on, brother.
01:07:07.880 Gang, gang, guys.
01:07:09.080 Gang, bro.
01:07:09.620 Thank you for the question.
01:07:11.040 That's what all of them say to you?
01:07:12.600 Yeah, man.
01:07:13.400 That's the gang, bro.
01:07:14.320 And then you say, they say gang, gang.
01:07:15.380 You just say one gang back?
01:07:16.600 I say gang, yeah.
01:07:17.920 Dang.
01:07:18.460 But do you ever say gang twice and they say gang once?
01:07:21.280 Yep.
01:07:21.520 Or you just, you're like the boss?
01:07:23.060 Whoever starts the gang has to double it.
01:07:25.500 Let's try one.
01:07:26.380 All right.
01:07:26.780 Gang, gang.
01:07:27.620 Gang.
01:07:28.980 It didn't feel right.
01:07:30.300 Okay.
01:07:31.100 Just on my end.
01:07:32.180 All right.
01:07:32.460 Let me try it.
01:07:32.760 I felt like my gang wasn't authentic.
01:07:35.180 I feel like it was authentic to you, though.
01:07:37.820 Gang, gang.
01:07:38.940 Gang, bro.
01:07:39.680 That felt better.
01:07:40.580 Okay.
01:07:40.780 I'm a better leader.
01:07:42.780 I'm a better first dude.
01:07:44.060 There we go, man.
01:07:47.240 But hey, man.
01:07:48.360 Michael, right?
01:07:49.300 Yeah.
01:07:50.180 That's a great question.
01:07:51.140 It's a great question.
01:07:51.340 How would you get to that finish line and you know there's so much more to go to reboot
01:07:55.380 yourself?
01:07:55.580 And I got even this nomenclature, false finish line or fake.
01:08:00.260 I got that from David Goggins.
01:08:02.120 He did a post about that.
01:08:03.960 Before, I was experiencing it, but I didn't know how to conceptualize it.
01:08:07.960 And so, just a little background, I was walking across Missouri.
01:08:13.640 And when I was walking across Missouri, it was like end of July.
01:08:17.160 It was fucking hot, hot, hot.
01:08:20.560 You know, hot, like 95, you know, 90% humidity.
01:08:25.840 And you're completely covered.
01:08:27.360 I mean, you look completely covered.
01:08:29.000 I wore the same shirt.
01:08:30.900 I wore this shirt on the walk.
01:08:32.340 I didn't wear this one too much because it's blue.
01:08:35.060 And I ended up wearing the white ones because they're cooler.
01:08:37.320 But this is a walk shirt.
01:08:39.200 So, they're long sleeve, dry fit.
01:08:40.760 But this is Coach Chad helped me out with this too.
01:08:43.720 It's UV protected.
01:08:45.200 Oh, dang.
01:08:45.780 Coach Chad.
01:08:46.520 I never got.
01:08:47.120 He cares about your complexion.
01:08:48.100 Believe it or not, I never got sunburned.
01:08:50.440 I'll show you this.
01:08:52.040 You never got sunburned?
01:08:53.280 Look at that.
01:08:54.440 And that's 10.
01:08:55.040 I finished 10 days ago.
01:08:56.220 You see that?
01:08:56.920 Yeah.
01:08:57.820 So, only my hand got tan.
01:08:59.580 Yeah.
01:09:00.160 Yeah.
01:09:00.460 Because I always wore this shirt.
01:09:01.740 A tan-handed bad boy over here, son.
01:09:04.120 If only my whole body looked like that.
01:09:05.460 Wow, that's amazing, man.
01:09:06.900 All right.
01:09:07.280 So, look.
01:09:09.060 I'm walking in Missouri.
01:09:10.960 And it's hot.
01:09:13.920 And it's flooded.
01:09:15.300 And I don't want to blow it out of proportion because people lost their homes and everything.
01:09:19.300 So, I'm just doing my walk.
01:09:22.160 So, don't feel too bad for me, right?
01:09:24.300 But there are days that I'm walking the wrong way because I get to a road and it's just not there.
01:09:32.320 It's underwater.
01:09:33.520 Or I get there and the water's coming to my knee and I'm walking more and it's coming to my hip.
01:09:38.040 I'm like, dude, I got to go a different way, dude.
01:09:40.300 Like, this ain't going to end good.
01:09:42.680 Or I was on the Katy Trail and I'm walking through like nasty water.
01:09:47.520 Damn.
01:09:47.880 Like still water.
01:09:49.340 Oh, yeah.
01:09:50.020 And like.
01:09:50.980 Soup.
01:09:51.880 That's how I feel like when I picture some parts of Louisiana.
01:09:55.440 Just stagnant, huh?
01:09:56.080 Oh, yeah.
01:09:56.580 Stagnant.
01:09:56.960 Some swampy water, dude.
01:09:59.420 Oh, yeah.
01:10:00.060 Look, so, I remember coming out of this one water and my legs were just stinging.
01:10:05.120 They're just stinging.
01:10:06.360 I'm like, dang, I got to wash those off soon, man.
01:10:09.160 This is not good.
01:10:10.440 Right?
01:10:10.760 So, anyways, dude.
01:10:12.840 And there's no cell service there or whatever.
01:10:15.160 So, we call it the old Fulton Loop because I had to go up to this city called Fulton, Missouri.
01:10:21.760 And it was like, yeah, it was just the wrong way.
01:10:24.100 And it's demoralizing walking the wrong direction.
01:10:26.500 Damn.
01:10:26.820 As you'd imagine.
01:10:27.960 But I kept saying to myself, man, just get to Kansas, dude.
01:10:31.580 Just get to Kansas.
01:10:33.320 So, that was kind of my mantra in Missouri.
01:10:36.540 Just get to Kansas.
01:10:39.060 Now, a couple weeks pass and what happens?
01:10:43.700 I get to Kansas.
01:10:45.320 And I crossed that border and I fucking cried, bro.
01:10:49.560 I cried.
01:10:50.520 It was amazing.
01:10:51.440 Because nobody knew how hard it was but me, you know.
01:10:56.220 And somebody else that did the walk through.
01:10:58.180 I mean, just nobody knew.
01:10:59.300 And I thought, I made it, man.
01:11:04.020 I made it to Kansas, you know.
01:11:05.660 And it was the end of the day when I got out of that border.
01:11:08.920 And I went to bed and I felt proud.
01:11:11.300 And I went to sleep.
01:11:13.540 And the next day, the alarm went off at 4 a.m.
01:11:18.100 And you're going to start walking, right?
01:11:20.380 So, I get up to go.
01:11:23.320 And my mind, my body, my spirit, if you believe in that.
01:11:29.240 If you don't want to believe in spirit, you just call it morale.
01:11:31.860 My morale.
01:11:32.380 They were all gone because they thought I was done.
01:11:37.280 Because I kept telling them, just get to Kansas.
01:11:40.680 So, they go, we made it, motherfucker.
01:11:43.600 We got you here.
01:11:44.440 Yep.
01:11:44.900 See you later, Mike.
01:11:46.020 Right.
01:11:46.360 So, this was actually the hardest day of the walk for me.
01:11:51.500 I started to go.
01:11:53.320 And in hindsight, I think I was pretty bad dehydrated as well.
01:11:59.080 But I get to the point where I'm limping.
01:12:03.640 And if my mind isn't actively thinking, walk, right, left, step, walk.
01:12:13.900 If my mind isn't thinking, if it drifts at all to any other topic anywhere, my body just stops.
01:12:20.280 And I finish my thought tangent, and I realize, I'm not even, I'm not moving.
01:12:25.020 Fuck.
01:12:27.060 And there'll be like.
01:12:28.120 You had to be that focused.
01:12:29.540 That's how just, I just had nothing left.
01:12:32.160 There's just no energy there, man.
01:12:33.640 Damn.
01:12:34.200 And my feet are fucking hurting bad.
01:12:37.380 And there's like, there's some trees, and they have shade.
01:12:40.380 And I would walk to like, a shade, and I would like, I would sit down.
01:12:46.880 And try to just like, cool off, get my shit together.
01:12:49.940 And I see like, another tree, another piece of shade.
01:12:53.640 And it'd be like, 200 feet in front of me.
01:12:56.980 And I'd walk there.
01:12:58.820 And my body would just fucking stop again.
01:13:01.240 I'd sit down.
01:13:01.820 I was just going from shade to shade.
01:13:03.900 Like, and they're not very far apart.
01:13:05.840 And I'm taking a break at each one.
01:13:07.520 And it's just, so this is why I learned this lesson, man.
01:13:11.660 You can't create a finish line that isn't your finish line.
01:13:17.000 So you got to break the motherfucker down.
01:13:19.320 You're not just going to be like, hey, man, I got 2,601 miles.
01:13:23.940 That's too big, you know.
01:13:25.560 So, but you're just going to the next checkpoint.
01:13:30.220 But you're knowing that you're not done.
01:13:33.520 And so then we got a new mantra after that.
01:13:36.140 I got bit by a snake all that shit.
01:13:37.560 I learned.
01:13:38.820 And Julian here, he'll remember, you know, when we like crossed the Rocky Mountains.
01:13:44.880 Those were big deals because we had to plan for them differently, this kind of thing.
01:13:48.380 Whenever we'd finish something like that, we'd be excited.
01:13:50.560 We'd celebrate that shit.
01:13:51.680 We did it, you know, for sure.
01:13:53.780 But we would always say, this ain't a finish line.
01:13:56.940 It's a checkpoint.
01:13:57.960 Yeah.
01:13:58.180 And we'd say, you know, we're hyped up.
01:14:01.080 We're just saying, finish line is a checkpoint, boy.
01:14:04.640 That's a checkpoint, boy.
01:14:06.180 That's that checkpoint mission, bro.
01:14:08.060 Ain't no finish line.
01:14:09.000 We ain't done.
01:14:10.180 You know, that's how we would do it after that.
01:14:12.840 Right, be excited to not be done.
01:14:14.400 That's right.
01:14:15.120 We ain't done.
01:14:16.360 Yeah.
01:14:16.800 You ain't stop us there.
01:14:17.780 We ain't done, you know.
01:14:20.320 And so even when I finished the walk, it's one of the best days, you know, best moments
01:14:27.600 of my life.
01:14:28.960 I got 30 people at the beach waiting for me, and I took a vow of silence that day.
01:14:35.360 I walked up to that beach, and I had a moment with each person.
01:14:39.520 You know, they're standing shoulder to shoulder looking at me.
01:14:41.560 The water's behind them.
01:14:42.420 I could see the water.
01:14:44.080 Like, fuck, man.
01:14:45.160 I made it here.
01:14:45.900 And I'm going down the line, hugging each person, just having a moment, and I'm listening.
01:14:52.320 They're talking to me, but I ain't say shit.
01:14:53.600 I said, I'm not saying anything until I get in that water.
01:14:56.340 I seen Coach Chad there.
01:14:58.020 I just started crying.
01:14:59.340 Wow.
01:14:59.860 Because, you know, that was the guy talking to me on the phone.
01:15:02.240 He'd been there every day, yeah.
01:15:03.500 He talked to me on the phone almost every day, you know, before.
01:15:07.040 And he said in my ear, there was never a doubt.
01:15:09.820 There was never a doubt.
01:15:12.340 And I keep going down that line, you know.
01:15:15.900 And all the people, you know, guys I met at the Navajo Nation that drove there, you know,
01:15:21.800 barely any gas money because we connected when I walked there, wanted to be there when I finished.
01:15:27.760 And the last two guys were Julian and Colin, the other walk manager.
01:15:33.640 They took turns.
01:15:35.880 And also, Julian's ass, I start crying, dude.
01:15:39.780 He's like, man, get up.
01:15:41.220 Give me a hug, dude.
01:15:42.140 And he said, we finished our moment and I'm getting ready to go in the water.
01:15:48.200 And he looked at me, he said, this ain't a finish line.
01:15:54.860 It's a checkpoint, you know.
01:15:56.860 Dang.
01:15:57.660 And our motto, too, was keep going.
01:15:59.600 That's another one of our models.
01:16:00.680 Yeah, yeah.
01:16:01.020 I caught on to that one.
01:16:02.180 Yeah, for sure.
01:16:02.840 So we did.
01:16:03.520 Every time I would say goodbye to Julian the whole walk or Colin, I'm going to go walk another eight miles.
01:16:09.800 We go like this.
01:16:11.320 Keep going.
01:16:11.780 Keep going, baby.
01:16:12.580 Every time.
01:16:13.200 So we did that.
01:16:14.320 And he just reminded me, Noah, even though you're done with this journey, you're not done, motherfucker.
01:16:19.820 This is actually just the beginning, you know, because we talked about all this stuff.
01:16:24.000 You became this new guy.
01:16:26.380 You found parts of yourself.
01:16:27.980 You're stronger.
01:16:29.240 Now you can do so much more.
01:16:31.140 I mean, the things that are on the buffet now is so much more than there was before I did the walk.
01:16:41.760 It was salad before.
01:16:42.980 You got dessert on there, man.
01:16:44.220 Yeah, I got fucking croutons.
01:16:45.400 Some balsamic vinaigrette.
01:16:47.200 Yeah.
01:16:47.760 You got balsamic, dude.
01:16:49.260 You got fucking oysters, bro.
01:16:50.700 Everything.
01:16:51.220 They got a fresh catch area.
01:16:53.220 You're fucking, this thing's big.
01:16:55.140 Dude.
01:16:56.240 That took the sneeze guard off.
01:16:57.920 Yeah, dog.
01:17:00.660 Listen, so.
01:17:05.220 So.
01:17:05.880 Yeah.
01:17:06.500 You know Buffet's gutter when they got that fucking sneeze guard on that bitch.
01:17:10.320 And so I wanted to.
01:17:13.120 I never knew what that was until you just said that.
01:17:15.180 Yeah, dude.
01:17:15.620 That's so you can't lean in.
01:17:17.240 They don't want you to in there.
01:17:20.020 I didn't know why they had it.
01:17:21.880 They have it for you, dude.
01:17:23.940 Theo Vaughn's ass.
01:17:25.200 Bro, I would never.
01:17:25.740 These look good.
01:17:31.540 Jesus.
01:17:32.420 Damn.
01:17:32.640 I wonder why they all, why don't they put them on a better, you know, mobile.
01:17:37.140 Because they always got these shady kind of piece of glass up at the top.
01:17:42.900 You're always doing like this.
01:17:44.440 I'm like, I should have been a surgeon.
01:17:46.200 I'm just trying to get a couple of fucking potatoes, bro.
01:17:50.020 That's crazy, man.
01:17:51.180 I didn't know that.
01:17:52.800 Wow.
01:17:53.260 That's a safety sneeze guard.
01:17:55.120 So.
01:17:55.560 So listen, dude.
01:17:57.340 So you ran into the water.
01:17:58.400 I ran into the water, but I wanted, I wanted to not make that mistake again.
01:18:05.200 So my body's pretty jacked, you know, it's not injured, but it's pretty jacked up.
01:18:10.440 You know, my feet are hurting and all that stuff.
01:18:13.540 But I know the next day after the walk is the most important day of the walk, you know.
01:18:20.280 Who cares?
01:18:20.780 You go, we learned a bunch of stuff, tapped into the part of yourself, and you go the next
01:18:24.700 day and you forget it all.
01:18:26.320 Who cares?
01:18:28.780 Anybody can do that.
01:18:30.840 So.
01:18:31.580 So how do we do that?
01:18:32.760 How do we keep that going?
01:18:33.820 Well, this is, this is how I've been, this is the end of 10 days ago.
01:18:37.520 So I'll tell you where I'm at, you know.
01:18:39.440 But the next day was very important to me.
01:18:42.520 And I knew, I knew I needed rest, you know, for my body.
01:18:48.140 But in order to not fuck this mistake up, I knew I had to be up at 4 a.m. again the next
01:18:53.400 day.
01:18:53.660 And I knew I had to, I knew I had to get after it.
01:18:58.020 So I called this dude named Coach Marcello.
01:19:03.480 He runs a boxing gym.
01:19:04.980 Mm-hmm.
01:19:06.280 Argentinian man.
01:19:07.680 I said, hey man, can you meet me at 5.30 Saturday?
01:19:11.080 And I'm doing this, you know, like a week before I finish the walk.
01:19:15.860 I said, you meet me at 5.30 Saturday?
01:19:17.760 Wow, planning ahead.
01:19:18.620 That's cool.
01:19:19.140 You meet me.
01:19:19.780 And he said, yeah, I got to confirm.
01:19:22.040 I said, I can't confirm.
01:19:23.020 I'm turning my phone off Friday.
01:19:24.640 I'm leaving my phone off for two days after that.
01:19:27.900 I said, I need to confirm now.
01:19:28.960 Can you meet me at 5.30?
01:19:30.000 He said, yeah, I'll be there.
01:19:31.460 So I'm up at 4.
01:19:32.700 I hit that meditation.
01:19:35.700 I ride my bike over to the boxing gym.
01:19:39.340 And I fucking jump the rope.
01:19:40.940 I hit the heavy bag.
01:19:42.460 I hit the mitts.
01:19:44.160 I do the sit-ups.
01:19:45.460 He's throwing the medicine ball.
01:19:46.700 And this shit, my body needs to rest.
01:19:49.100 I know that.
01:19:49.740 But, hey, I also need my body, my mind, my spirit to know I'm not done.
01:19:57.440 So that's what I did the next day.
01:20:01.120 And I did some yoga after that, some physical therapy.
01:20:03.620 And I just kept my phone off for two days because I knew I needed to feel how I felt
01:20:09.280 without having to explain to other people how I felt.
01:20:12.140 And I wrote about it.
01:20:13.240 But I just try to keep that first week.
01:20:16.400 Like, I gave myself this week, I let myself sleep a little bit, which I needed, you know.
01:20:23.800 But that first week.
01:20:24.320 But you decompressed a little.
01:20:25.660 I needed to keep that schedule.
01:20:30.020 And I thought I was going to get depressed, you know, you finish this big thing.
01:20:33.120 But I really haven't, you know.
01:20:34.620 And that's because even though I'm not on the walk, I'm working on other things.
01:20:39.620 Whether it's writing, I'm doing some writing, a pro style, which is exciting to me and difficult.
01:20:44.660 So, and...
01:20:47.100 You're still walking inside of yourself.
01:20:48.420 Do you find yourself kind of, like, the steps kind of keep going inside of yourself sometimes?
01:20:54.180 Can you still feel them in your being, kind of?
01:20:57.000 I don't know if I would put it quite like that.
01:20:59.600 But, yeah, I definitely feel like I left the walk, but the walk never leaves you.
01:21:06.700 Yeah.
01:21:07.040 Yeah, for sure.
01:21:08.100 Do your legs sometimes be like, dude, take me for a walk?
01:21:11.280 Like, your legs, I feel like it would be like having a couple of dang Dobermans on you.
01:21:14.180 Yeah, dude, you know, they've been pretty tired, dude.
01:21:16.760 But me and Coach Chad just started hitting some hikes.
01:21:19.240 Because the next thing, one of the things I want to get into is mountaineering.
01:21:22.940 So, instead of walking on flat, just going that way.
01:21:26.080 So, we've been going, doing some hike, man.
01:21:29.400 He took me out of some bullshit yesterday.
01:21:31.960 And he's out of Louisiana, right?
01:21:33.300 And he's, that's flat land.
01:21:34.420 I don't know, I would not let that man at an altitude.
01:21:37.080 So, I don't know what you guys are doing up there with him.
01:21:39.180 Dude, he's got machetes out and shit.
01:21:41.680 You don't want to see it.
01:21:44.140 And y'all are just at a Carl's Jr.
01:21:45.700 It's like, what the hell's going on here?
01:21:46.560 You don't want to see this guy on a Saturday, bro.
01:21:49.160 You don't want to see him.
01:21:50.660 It's dangerous, huh?
01:21:51.660 Yeah.
01:21:52.280 Some men get real dangerous on the weekend.
01:21:54.040 I've seen that.
01:21:54.500 Bro.
01:21:55.080 Cameron Haynes and some of those guys, they get real dangerous on the weekend.
01:21:58.460 Has he come on your podcast?
01:21:59.700 Very violent.
01:22:00.780 No, he hasn't.
01:22:01.800 He would come on.
01:22:02.620 No, I haven't even met him.
01:22:03.500 We just communicated sometimes online.
01:22:05.080 But he's really...
01:22:05.720 That dude's pretty gnarly.
01:22:07.120 Yeah, he seems pretty gnarly.
01:22:07.900 He runs like a marathon a day.
01:22:09.600 He doesn't stop.
01:22:10.740 We got this question that came in right here from me when I was younger.
01:22:14.080 All right, what do you think his name is?
01:22:17.380 Oh, man.
01:22:18.100 I'm going to go with Scott.
01:22:20.700 That's Jeff.
01:22:22.080 That's a good...
01:22:22.760 That's a strong Jeff.
01:22:24.600 Hey, what's up, Theo?
01:22:25.480 What's up, Mike?
01:22:27.300 It's Ben.
01:22:28.220 Damn.
01:22:29.100 Fuck, man.
01:22:29.820 Or as Mike knows me by BC Birdman.
01:22:35.640 I know him.
01:22:36.520 I don't know.
01:22:37.020 We walked together back in Indiana around...
01:22:38.960 Oh, shit.
01:22:39.580 ...about five miles around Terre Haute.
01:22:42.360 So what I want to ask Mike is that you told me...
01:22:48.780 Oh, I remember this dude.
01:22:50.160 He changed his whole fucking...
01:22:51.740 He didn't have a mustache like that.
01:22:53.320 I remember this dude.
01:22:54.140 Oh, Mike, because of Movember or whatever.
01:22:55.700 This guy was dope, man.
01:22:57.400 Yeah.
01:22:57.800 In Indiana that you developed a love for Ford F-150s.
01:23:02.020 That's right.
01:23:02.660 First of all, is there any plans to buy an F-Ford F-150 for your own?
01:23:08.100 And then also, is there anything on the walk later on that after we've stopped walking with
01:23:14.620 you that you came to love or came to appreciate that you didn't think you would or that you
01:23:24.240 just couldn't expect?
01:23:25.080 I remember this guy.
01:23:28.880 He walked to me.
01:23:29.860 And I remember he got a hat that looked like mine, kind of.
01:23:33.040 Oh, cool.
01:23:33.900 And this guy is a bird enthusiast.
01:23:38.560 Oh, wow.
01:23:39.300 That's beautiful.
01:23:39.680 So he talked to me on the walk.
01:23:41.540 You know, we walk a few hours.
01:23:43.140 He will, like, go in camo.
01:23:45.580 And, like, he has these long lenses.
01:23:47.500 And sometimes they call the cops on him because he looks scary, bro.
01:23:50.460 Oh, like a weapon.
01:23:51.180 Yeah, he's got these long lenses because he's trying to get this shot of this bird, you
01:23:54.820 know.
01:23:55.140 And he'll be just camped down in the grass waiting for the shot.
01:23:58.680 Oh, yeah.
01:23:59.100 Perking on birds, bro.
01:24:00.260 We used to have dudes like that.
01:24:01.380 The shot, too.
01:24:02.760 So, F-150.
01:24:06.460 Yeah, I realized, like, man, everyone has an F-150.
01:24:09.740 I always lived in a city or a suburb.
01:24:11.400 Yeah, you don't see trucks here in LA.
01:24:12.480 I mean, you never see a truck.
01:24:13.440 You never see a truck.
01:24:14.660 Dude, but you own a walk.
01:24:17.920 Everyone has an F-150.
01:24:20.060 Everyone has an F-150.
01:24:21.000 A lot of America has trucks.
01:24:22.300 We never see them.
01:24:23.500 I started to love these F-150s.
01:24:24.480 And then I realized there's F-250s.
01:24:26.580 Damn.
01:24:26.940 And there's a F-350s, like, rowing hat.
01:24:28.780 Oh, shit, I'm going to come up, bro.
01:24:29.200 Don't keep going up.
01:24:30.740 I'll ejaculate right here.
01:24:31.420 Dude, and then my new favorite car, after he met me, became the F-750.
01:24:37.180 It's like a front cab of a semi, almost.
01:24:39.840 I can't even imagine that.
01:24:40.920 Yeah, it's a big boy.
01:24:41.880 Ooh.
01:24:42.460 I don't want all that.
01:24:43.860 Dude, just relax.
01:24:44.740 It's 750s a lot.
01:24:45.360 Can you put your hands on the table, dude?
01:24:47.160 Sorry.
01:24:47.500 Jesus, dude.
01:24:48.400 Hold on.
01:24:48.640 Let me put my gloves on first.
01:24:50.060 Ooh.
01:24:50.400 And then I'll put them on, bro.
01:24:53.300 Maybe that was me back there at that fucking Walmart, bro.
01:24:56.200 Dude, I wouldn't do it.
01:24:56.400 Dude, I wouldn't be surprised.
01:24:58.040 Whoa, that's an F-750, dude.
01:24:59.900 Yeah, it's the big boy.
01:25:01.980 But normally, they don't have, like, see, that looks weird because it has the regular
01:25:06.840 back.
01:25:07.540 Usually, they have, like, a dump truck or something on the back like that.
01:25:11.860 Wow, yeah, I've never even seen it.
01:25:12.940 I don't even know they have that.
01:25:13.900 But I always see these, and I see them come up.
01:25:15.660 I go, I think it's an F-750.
01:25:16.940 I start hyping it up.
01:25:18.540 And then either, if it's big like that, either it's a 650 or 750, it comes by, and it
01:25:24.500 says on the side of the car.
01:25:25.720 So, I'm looking at it.
01:25:26.540 It's coming right out.
01:25:27.620 I'm getting excited.
01:25:29.240 It comes by.
01:25:29.800 It says 650.
01:25:30.620 I'm like, man, you hate to see it.
01:25:33.180 But if it comes by, it comes by like this.
01:25:35.680 It says 750.
01:25:37.040 I go, woo!
01:25:37.920 I might even run a little bit after I see that boy.
01:25:43.480 It's the little things that get you going, huh?
01:25:45.560 Dude.
01:25:46.400 I think, like, another, I don't know, just the second part of this question, any other
01:25:50.420 things I learned or I didn't expect.
01:25:52.640 Like, a thing that popped in my head was hunters, man.
01:25:57.860 I always thought hunters didn't give a fuck about animals.
01:26:02.440 Right.
01:26:03.020 I always thought they were like the people that hated it.
01:26:06.220 Like, fuck animals, man.
01:26:07.900 We'll fucking kill me soon, you know?
01:26:10.400 So, it turns out, at least all the hunters I met, they actually care about animals more
01:26:15.840 than anybody.
01:26:16.540 Yeah.
01:26:16.820 And what I learned was, you know, you could live in L.A. and West Hollywood and you buy
01:26:23.460 a fucking burger and what you're basically doing is paying somebody else to, you know,
01:26:29.580 factory farm these poor cows and fucking kill them in a terrible way and, you know, you're
01:26:37.280 funding the genocide, basically, you know?
01:26:40.500 But you're a hunter, like some of the guys I met, and you find out, one, it's just very
01:26:46.600 regularly, you know, it's a certain time, you get the tags.
01:26:49.800 Yeah, October, November is it.
01:26:51.120 Yeah, and you got, they're only giving out the tags so you don't decimate the population,
01:26:55.820 you're not hunting the babies, you know?
01:26:58.960 So, it was all that.
01:27:00.080 And then, what they taught me, I was asking a hunter, I was like, man, so, if you see a
01:27:06.100 deer, where do you shoot it?
01:27:07.640 You shoot it, like, in the head?
01:27:08.740 And you're like, no, you don't want to shoot a deer in the head.
01:27:10.780 Yeah, dude, this ain't casino or something.
01:27:14.340 I didn't know, dude.
01:27:15.660 I didn't know, man.
01:27:17.000 What do you think somebody was going to do?
01:27:18.540 No, dude, I thought you just.
01:27:19.880 Tell me where a stream is.
01:27:20.900 I thought, I thought you just, I thought you just, you see the animal, you shoot the,
01:27:26.620 shoot them.
01:27:27.580 That's what I thought they did, you know?
01:27:29.440 But I found out, they wait till they can kill it in a way where it won't suffer, where
01:27:34.820 it's going to be dead.
01:27:36.360 So, even if they can see the animal, the animal's in the scope, if it doesn't turn in the right
01:27:41.540 way and they don't get a clean shot, they don't kill it.
01:27:45.480 And they, that, I learned, that changed my whole perspective of what I thought hunting
01:27:49.960 was, you know?
01:27:50.600 And these people doing this, you're like, basically, you know, you're in the food chain then,
01:27:54.200 you know?
01:27:54.820 It seems very ethical to me.
01:27:56.760 Yeah, in a lot of small areas.
01:27:58.080 I mean, especially.
01:27:58.440 As ethical as killing could be, you know, that would be it.
01:28:01.480 Yeah.
01:28:01.620 But it's more ethical to me than buying a burger at the store or whatever.
01:28:05.860 Right, and they use it, especially locally, you know?
01:28:07.760 I'll get calls when I'm back in Louisiana, hey, you know, we have some venison, and we
01:28:10.900 got this, or we got some quail, you know?
01:28:13.260 Or we got a fucking fresh load of fucking ham meat, you know?
01:28:15.840 What about those dudes, they come, this is a real thing, they, because I've seen a lot
01:28:19.440 of roadkill, as you might imagine.
01:28:21.340 What about those dudes, they pick up the roadkill, eat it?
01:28:25.280 I think as long as they cook it and eat it, that's fine, dude.
01:28:27.620 Did you ever have any roadkill meat?
01:28:29.020 If they do that fucking highway sashimi, bro, I'm out, dude.
01:28:33.360 That's when I'm out, son, I'm out.
01:28:34.940 Did you ever have any roadkill meat?
01:28:37.040 I've had a lot of exotic meat that was probably killed, I wouldn't know if it was killed by
01:28:40.380 an auto, but I bet it was killed by something, you know, fast and unnecessary.
01:28:44.660 Like what?
01:28:45.740 Exotic meat?
01:28:46.260 Owl, people know, I've had owl meat, I've had, what else, I wouldn't say I've had
01:28:52.800 gerbil, but I've had something just a touch bigger than that.
01:28:55.380 What the fuck, dude?
01:28:56.720 What's a touch bigger than a gerbil?
01:28:58.720 Probably like a little, maybe.
01:29:00.460 A muskrat?
01:29:02.120 Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else you could be thinking.
01:29:04.520 Maybe a large groundhog.
01:29:07.240 What else do they have?
01:29:08.140 What the fuck, dude?
01:29:09.980 Yeah, man, we came up with an area that had a lot of exotic meats.
01:29:13.100 You know, I've had guinea pig, large ones, nothing small.
01:29:17.360 I've had...
01:29:18.740 Dove?
01:29:19.540 I've had dove, yeah.
01:29:20.660 A couple of brothers near me used to always be grilling up doves and I'd go get over there
01:29:23.480 and eat it with them once in a while.
01:29:24.260 Why is it doves flying around and they'd shoot them?
01:29:26.040 I don't know, no.
01:29:26.700 Where'd they get them?
01:29:27.920 I think they'd catch them, you know?
01:29:29.500 Catch them with their hands?
01:29:30.620 Because a dove will come over, bro.
01:29:31.840 That's the fucking Bible trying to reach out to you on wings, dude.
01:29:34.720 No way.
01:29:34.920 You can't catch a dove with your hands, bro.
01:29:36.880 I can't.
01:29:37.740 But these chefs could, these local chefs.
01:29:42.240 We had one or two more video questions that came in, man.
01:29:44.760 This is just...
01:29:45.540 I mean, it's wild because I could talk to you.
01:29:47.060 I mean, there's just so much to encapsulate that you started a feed and that you took it
01:29:53.920 on and that you really did it.
01:29:55.600 Hey, man, that's the thing.
01:29:57.320 And it must be hard for you.
01:29:58.340 Is it hard to corral all of the levels of it, the physical, the emotional, the...
01:30:06.020 Yeah, but that's one of the reasons I told you I'm doing that writing now because then
01:30:09.960 I can start to see what I actually...
01:30:12.240 A lot of stuff I'm saying today, I'll be able to...
01:30:15.120 I can feel that.
01:30:16.140 I was able to kind of think out because I'm writing it to myself.
01:30:18.660 Yeah, do you think there'll be a book or something where people can get a hold of it?
01:30:21.560 I mean, I think it could be helpful to people.
01:30:22.880 I don't know.
01:30:23.380 I really think it could be.
01:30:24.540 I think...
01:30:25.280 I think...
01:30:26.860 I don't know.
01:30:27.300 If I'm called to do it, I'll do it.
01:30:29.140 Yeah.
01:30:29.380 But I got once...
01:30:30.240 You know, if I'm going to do a book, I'm a writer.
01:30:33.120 You know, I write my own song.
01:30:34.060 I write other people's songs.
01:30:35.200 So I couldn't use like a ghostwriter or anything like that.
01:30:38.000 You have to do it yourself.
01:30:39.000 And you know, you do that book, it's going to be hard.
01:30:41.140 It's as hard as the walk, you know.
01:30:43.100 And it's going to take longer for sure.
01:30:44.500 Walk took six months, you know.
01:30:46.300 That's true.
01:30:46.700 You do that book.
01:30:47.860 Yeah.
01:30:48.140 If you do it right, you know, it's going to take three, four, five, six, seven years.
01:30:52.620 You don't know.
01:30:53.660 Keep going, man.
01:30:54.520 I love it.
01:30:55.060 Keep going, baby.
01:30:56.080 Keep going.
01:30:56.920 This guy has a question right here.
01:30:58.200 We'll get into one.
01:30:58.380 What's his name?
01:30:59.140 That's Alberto.
01:31:00.160 Hold on.
01:31:00.800 Okay.
01:31:01.000 Albert or Alberto.
01:31:02.160 I'm going to go with Edwin.
01:31:04.180 He didn't really say...
01:31:05.420 He put his name as Silver Fox.
01:31:07.420 Oh, shit.
01:31:08.020 We were way off, dude.
01:31:09.520 Well, so he must be Native American.
01:31:10.880 Is that a Native American name?
01:31:12.320 Yeah, it must be.
01:31:15.200 Hi, Mike.
01:31:16.200 This is the Silver Fox here.
01:31:17.700 This is Harry he's referring to.
01:31:19.520 I lost my father four months ago.
01:31:21.260 And I have reoccurring dreams with him in the dream.
01:31:25.840 And I was wondering if you think that it's a mechanism to help your brain cope with the trauma or if there's more to it.
01:31:34.020 And if you've experienced that yourself.
01:31:37.380 Gang, gang.
01:31:38.300 Gang.
01:31:38.900 Gang, bro.
01:31:39.720 Silver Fox.
01:31:40.500 Gang.
01:31:40.740 I felt bad.
01:31:41.220 I was joking at the beginning of that.
01:31:42.580 It's okay.
01:31:43.000 You didn't know.
01:31:43.520 I was about to joke even, and I didn't.
01:31:47.440 But, dude, my dad came and visited me in a dream recently in Hawaii.
01:31:51.520 I was in Hawaii.
01:31:52.160 I hadn't seen my dad in 20 years, and he showed up in a dream.
01:31:54.280 It was really wild.
01:31:55.060 What was the dream?
01:31:56.600 He was there.
01:31:58.260 Matthew McConaughey was there.
01:32:00.020 And Robert De Niro was there.
01:32:01.940 And there was kind of an argument.
01:32:03.840 It was at lunch.
01:32:05.060 And I was trying to get everybody to communicate, but De Niro didn't want to talk to my dad.
01:32:10.600 McConaughey was a little bit indifferent, but it ended up, they chatted for a minute.
01:32:14.040 And I don't know what it was all about, but that was just the dream.
01:32:16.120 And then I got to just see my dad.
01:32:17.320 I just hadn't seen him.
01:32:18.520 Dang.
01:32:18.820 And he was younger than I'd ever met him at.
01:32:21.160 And it was just.
01:32:21.980 Wow.
01:32:23.120 It was crazy.
01:32:23.900 And it was just, I mean, I'd never had no dream.
01:32:26.320 And then I'm in Hawaii.
01:32:28.020 So, wait.
01:32:28.500 Did he die 20 years ago?
01:32:30.080 No, he died about, I think maybe, yeah, he died about 20 or 22 years ago.
01:32:33.720 22.
01:32:34.280 But it was just to see him, just to have like a moment where I thought I was really there
01:32:38.160 with him, you know.
01:32:39.060 Yeah.
01:32:40.380 And I know your father passed.
01:32:41.720 Yeah.
01:32:41.980 Do you feel like there was, was there moments where he was with you?
01:32:46.440 Was there moments, or was it a disconnect?
01:32:49.960 Was there any of that?
01:32:50.740 This is actually a crazy question because it happened all the time when I started this walk.
01:32:58.340 Like, it was crazy.
01:33:01.020 I mean, I was telling my friends, I was like, dude, I see my dad, or my, I had dreams about
01:33:05.780 my dad.
01:33:06.400 I don't really feel like some people believe different things.
01:33:10.520 I don't really feel like that's him visiting me.
01:33:12.400 I don't really believe that.
01:33:13.600 But I, so I would say I'm having dreams about my dad.
01:33:16.360 But yeah, it would be all the time, man.
01:33:20.380 So much more than when I was on the walk.
01:33:23.120 And I wake up, and I remember just feeling like, similar to you, mostly in the dreams,
01:33:31.140 because my dad, he got brain cancer.
01:33:33.420 And the last like year, 10 months, he was really like dying.
01:33:37.840 He was in the hospital bed, that kind of thing.
01:33:39.860 He was sick.
01:33:41.120 And in the dreams, he's never sick.
01:33:43.020 It's always more like a few years before it has to state his bodies, and he's in.
01:33:48.520 And I remember the feeling like when I'd either wait, after I'd wake up, or the feeling was
01:33:55.340 was always like, almost shock, like, he's really dead.
01:34:03.180 He's really gone.
01:34:05.260 And I remember feeling like, how sad it was, how sad it really was.
01:34:12.580 And how, how like, how real, like, then I remembered the, the whole like, the whole deal
01:34:19.860 that happened with the, when he was sick.
01:34:22.840 It almost refreshes it, because.
01:34:24.260 It refreshes it.
01:34:24.800 They were there for a second in your head.
01:34:26.260 But it even, it feels more like, it felt, it felt, felt more heavy than it did when
01:34:30.960 I was there.
01:34:32.080 Like, help it take care of more, because I was just doing it then, and I had to make
01:34:36.140 sure I was doing a good job.
01:34:37.900 And I look back, and I just remember the feeling, I was like, fuck, man, that shit really happened.
01:34:42.260 Dad got cancer, and he died.
01:34:46.260 Fuck.
01:34:47.420 You know, I didn't really know what to, what to do with that, you know.
01:34:50.700 I would wake up, and I would take care of what I said I was going to take care of.
01:34:54.800 But if I had to theorize to Silver Fox, I would think it's probably, again, I'm no fucking
01:35:05.460 psychologist, but I would just, I would guess like, it's my, it's me feeling what I need
01:35:13.860 to feel.
01:35:14.880 And maybe I'm, maybe I'm cruising so hard, and I'm doing all the stuff, and I'm busy,
01:35:19.240 all that shit's good, you know.
01:35:20.440 I don't feel bad about any of that.
01:35:21.920 But maybe I didn't feel all the, all the pain, all the grief I needed to, so it's coming,
01:35:26.360 coming at night.
01:35:28.080 That's, that's, that's what I would guess, dude.
01:35:30.940 Did your thought, was it easier to go to sleep at night, or was it harder to go to sleep
01:35:34.780 at night on the wall?
01:35:36.480 I would feel, it would seem like you'd be so exhausted, but that's just what I would
01:35:39.800 think.
01:35:40.900 It would be little, like, waves you gotta catch, you know, like, I was trying to get
01:35:44.800 to bed at 7.30, because I knew, I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, right, so, but I was
01:35:49.720 trying, when I was trying to be, like, in the bed, you know, starting the process.
01:35:52.980 And you in a camp, or you in a Winnebago when you sleep?
01:35:55.600 You guys get a hotel sometimes?
01:35:56.560 Mostly, every once in a while, but mostly, yeah, we had an RV, that was our support vehicle,
01:36:01.980 but then when we would do the actual, like, parts that were, like, the Rocky Mountains,
01:36:06.780 or certain parts of the desert in Arizona, like the, or the Mojave Desert in California,
01:36:12.520 the RV couldn't drive on those parts, so then I'd be sleeping in a tent.
01:36:16.700 But that was the best part, to be sleeping in a tent.
01:36:19.300 And every time we'd finish those, we'd come back, our RV, we'd call Larry.
01:36:23.060 We'd come back, Julie, we'd be like, man, I love Larry, but kind of, like, fuck Larry, bro.
01:36:28.940 We don't really need him, dude.
01:36:31.600 So, yeah, man, it would be hard, especially in the summer when it was hot.
01:36:38.360 I wasn't sleeping too well.
01:36:40.260 Yeah.
01:36:40.580 Yeah.
01:36:41.140 Yeah, it is hard to sleep when it's so hot.
01:36:43.420 I was in Maui this summer for just a week.
01:36:46.060 Humblebrag.
01:36:46.760 Yep.
01:36:47.520 And Island fucking Humblebrag, too, dude.
01:36:49.880 And I didn't have any air conditioning in the hotel room, and it was so hard to sleep at night.
01:36:56.340 Dang.
01:36:56.760 What fucking promoter booked you out there, dude?
01:37:00.540 Me?
01:37:01.220 Don't worry, Theo.
01:37:03.080 All expenses paid, dude.
01:37:05.260 All expenses paid.
01:37:07.040 Just come on out.
01:37:08.020 It'll be a great time, man.
01:37:09.720 Bro, I would put a couple of ices on my back, and I would lay down and put some ices on my back.
01:37:14.460 That's right.
01:37:15.320 Let's get one more question, man, and then we'll quit taking up all of Mike's day.
01:37:18.760 Hey, I'm here for you.
01:37:20.180 This is awesome, man.
01:37:24.600 Oh, wait.
01:37:25.080 Let me guess the name.
01:37:28.960 I'm stumped.
01:37:30.440 Yeah, me too.
01:37:31.160 It's something about the way his eyes got caught in that frame.
01:37:35.140 One's bigger than the other.
01:37:36.280 Yeah, I'll go with Shane.
01:37:40.580 I'll go with Shane.
01:37:41.140 That's a good guess.
01:37:41.520 That's a damn good guess.
01:37:42.800 Thanks, bro.
01:37:43.700 Fuck, man.
01:37:44.420 You are good.
01:37:45.820 Well, let's see.
01:37:46.760 We're both fucking got none of them.
01:37:47.500 Dude, that's a fucking Shane, though.
01:37:49.960 Hold on.
01:37:50.620 Did he say his name?
01:37:51.540 Wait, wait.
01:37:51.900 I got to guess.
01:37:52.480 Hold on.
01:37:53.400 I'm going to go with Michael.
01:37:56.040 He didn't say his name.
01:37:57.060 It's Finn Sanders.
01:37:58.920 Finn.
01:37:59.460 Damn.
01:38:00.460 That's close to Shane.
01:38:02.040 Yeah.
01:38:02.300 I feel like they're in the same neighborhood.
01:38:03.960 Yeah, you got to get a regular name.
01:38:05.720 A Finn and a Shane.
01:38:06.200 Finn, you got to fucking.
01:38:08.160 You got to get a pretty name.
01:38:08.620 Why did we didn't do it?
01:38:09.620 Did we have any crazy guesses, yo?
01:38:11.460 I don't know why I didn't guess Finn.
01:38:13.780 I could have guessed that.
01:38:14.920 You should have guessed Bartholomew.
01:38:16.480 That would have been a good guess, bro.
01:38:19.640 All right.
01:38:20.200 Come on.
01:38:20.640 Come on, Finn.
01:38:21.360 The discussion topic that I want to talk about is regarding Mike's philosophy on life, which
01:38:29.940 I have been trying to adopt, loving people, forgiving, understanding.
01:38:34.320 I just wonder where do you draw the line when you recognize actually malevolent and pathological
01:38:42.780 behavior?
01:38:43.240 Do you still think you can exterminate stuff like that with love and understanding?
01:38:49.760 Or do you think that you sometimes have to draw the line?
01:38:53.060 Thank you to you both for what you're doing.
01:38:55.880 This is the collab of the year.
01:38:57.480 Gang, gang.
01:38:58.360 Gang.
01:38:58.860 Gang, bro.
01:38:59.600 That second gang felt good, bro.
01:39:01.560 You can't even talk with it.
01:39:02.800 Because it came out of my stomach.
01:39:05.240 Yeah.
01:39:05.680 And out of my brain.
01:39:07.000 Yeah.
01:39:07.260 You know, first time I did, I was trying to sound cool.
01:39:09.460 Yeah, you were stuck in your throat.
01:39:10.260 I was thinking about as a gang.
01:39:13.040 Hey, you need that guttural gang.
01:39:14.780 I was a gang, bro.
01:39:16.240 Gang.
01:39:17.000 You had that esophagang in the beginning.
01:39:18.500 You got to get that guttural gang, bro.
01:39:19.940 I want to hear you answer the question, too.
01:39:23.200 Because it's a good one.
01:39:24.540 Especially you in recovery.
01:39:26.000 I know forgiveness is a big part of that.
01:39:28.280 Yeah, I think you have to do your best.
01:39:32.820 You know, I think that not, like, I think almost everybody, almost everybody you can find a way to relate to.
01:39:41.700 Almost everybody.
01:39:42.860 And I think there's instances where you can't.
01:39:46.260 And for me, my instincts will usually kind of let me know.
01:39:48.960 Like, this is something, this is someone you can work with and learn from.
01:39:54.780 Or you guys can, you know, you guys can be a part of each other's lives or help each other in some way.
01:40:00.880 And this is something that's out of your capable jurisdiction.
01:40:06.460 There's nothing, if you continue to engage here, that you're going to be able to get, to help each other.
01:40:13.460 It's just not a good match.
01:40:15.200 That's for a higher power.
01:40:16.520 That's for something that you can't handle.
01:40:18.660 And so, you know, that's where I kind of, I think, I'll just trust my instincts sometime and try to, and that's where I'll draw the line.
01:40:25.280 And if I, it's not that something's pure evil, but it's just something that I can't really help.
01:40:31.400 I can't help or it can't help me, even in a positive way, like, just in any type of emotional way or anything, you know.
01:40:39.840 Yeah.
01:40:40.420 I think sometimes it's just out of my hand.
01:40:42.520 I'm not, you know, I'm just a layman of the higher powers.
01:40:46.400 So it's like, you know, a lot of times I need more help than I, there's a lot.
01:40:54.940 Sometimes you do run across some people where it's just, they need to send this person back into the drawing board, back into the ether and let them get them remodeled, you know.
01:41:02.680 Oh, shit, dude.
01:41:04.160 Sometimes I think.
01:41:05.840 What are you talking about?
01:41:06.820 It's dark arts, bro.
01:41:07.280 You talking about killing them, dude?
01:41:08.560 I mean, I ain't killing them, bro, but I'll come to the funeral, you know.
01:41:13.300 Oh, good God.
01:41:13.640 I'll be out there, bro.
01:41:14.820 Jeez Louise.
01:41:15.140 It's the dark arts, man.
01:41:16.500 It doesn't end, Michael.
01:41:17.820 Man.
01:41:18.960 It doesn't end.
01:41:19.940 I think, man, I think there's a difference between forgiveness and who you choose to spend your time with or spend your life with, really.
01:41:32.100 Forgiveness is for yourself, you know, really, I think.
01:41:35.600 I'm looking at you like you asked me the question.
01:41:37.640 No, it's okay.
01:41:38.380 I love it.
01:41:39.220 Hey, listen, bro.
01:41:40.420 Hey, listen.
01:41:42.220 Tell me.
01:41:42.780 I think forgiveness is for yourself, you know.
01:41:45.000 Somebody fucks you over or something.
01:41:47.420 Then you got to carry that, you know.
01:41:49.380 So they always say, like, you hate somebody.
01:41:51.520 They don't feel that hate.
01:41:52.460 You feel the fucking hate.
01:41:53.560 You got to walk around with that, you know.
01:41:55.900 And so I think the forgiveness is for yourself.
01:41:59.260 Yeah.
01:41:59.480 But then at the same time, like, I think this is where I'm at right now in my life.
01:42:05.540 If you asked me a year ago, I think I'd say something very different.
01:42:08.400 But right now I think I'm a 31-year-old man.
01:42:15.480 Part of my job is to be respectful, but also not be disrespected.
01:42:26.680 So if somebody's going to disrespect me, or even, like, if I first meet someone and it just feels off, that's cool.
01:42:35.180 I'm just going to be nice to you, but we're not going to be friends.
01:42:38.740 I'm not going to go be friends with you just to be nice because you asked to have dinner with me or whatever.
01:42:46.020 I'm good, you know.
01:42:47.900 And then it goes same thing.
01:42:49.560 Sometimes someone you love might do some shit that you think is disrespectful.
01:42:55.720 And one of the big things for me is I was always in the past just because I was so scared of conflict,
01:43:03.020 like, I just withdraw, and maybe I just, like, avoid them, or maybe I don't avoid them,
01:43:11.860 but I got this little thing in the back of my head going, remember that one fucking time he did this?
01:43:16.060 That resentment, yeah.
01:43:17.060 Yeah, that resentment.
01:43:21.180 And now I think part of my job, you know, to myself is to not allow myself to be disrespected.
01:43:28.960 Or if I disrespect my boy, just call him out on it, hey, motherfucker, I don't like the way he said that to me, dude.
01:43:35.000 Yeah.
01:43:35.400 You know?
01:43:35.860 And you can do that with love, too.
01:43:37.140 It's interesting how you can.
01:43:38.220 You can.
01:43:38.820 And it can be a moment for them where they go, oh, man, you're right.
01:43:43.600 And they can learn, and it actually can help them not do that in another part of their lives.
01:43:48.060 Or sometimes you saw it, you read it fucking wrong, and, you know, and you get to get to the bottom of it.
01:43:54.740 Yeah.
01:43:54.980 But I had a friend of mine, one of my best friends, dude, he was there on the beach.
01:43:59.340 He's an interventionist, so he travels 250 days a year.
01:44:05.060 That's amazing.
01:44:05.980 Dude, this guy.
01:44:07.260 Dude, I would love to have him come on.
01:44:08.720 Would he ever be willing to come on here and talk about that?
01:44:10.540 I can't speak for him.
01:44:11.680 Right.
01:44:12.180 I'd love for him to.
01:44:13.340 He fucking should, but we'll see.
01:44:15.780 Okay.
01:44:17.240 But at the very least, man, let's sometime, like, the three of us eat, or even if I'm not there, you should meet him sometime.
01:44:23.000 I'd love to meet him, man.
01:44:23.840 And he's older than us, too.
01:44:25.840 That's one of the things I love with him, love about him, man, because he just.
01:44:29.720 The first time I met him, I thought, like, this guy, his eyes were kind of glowing, like, this dude's an angel, bro.
01:44:34.720 Damn, bro.
01:44:36.080 You know, and you meet someone with his bad vibes, kind of, it's like the opposite.
01:44:39.460 Yeah, yeah.
01:44:39.980 You know?
01:44:40.980 But he's, you know, he's in recovery, 33 years.
01:44:44.280 Wow.
01:44:45.060 I bet.
01:44:45.600 Imagine him being on the front lines of seeing somebody have a moment that starts to change their life.
01:44:50.600 That's his job every day.
01:44:52.040 Fuck, that's crazy, bro.
01:44:53.340 Every day.
01:44:54.640 And why did I bring him up?
01:44:58.520 What were we talking about?
01:44:59.480 We're talking about just like how sometimes, you know, you can, I don't know.
01:45:06.200 Oh, I don't know why.
01:45:07.200 He said to me the dopest shit about resentment.
01:45:09.260 Because one time when I first met him, he had texted me a few times and I missed it.
01:45:17.440 And the second time he called, left a message.
01:45:19.320 I was like, oh, yeah, I'll call him later.
01:45:20.840 Fucking forgot.
01:45:22.060 Like three times.
01:45:23.480 I basically blew him off.
01:45:26.480 And I called him back eventually.
01:45:28.620 He said, hey, you know, you made it pretty clear to me that you didn't want to continue our relationship.
01:45:35.800 And that's not how I felt at all.
01:45:37.340 I just felt like, hey, I'm a fucking artist.
01:45:40.380 I don't have to call people back.
01:45:41.760 Everybody understands I'm doing important shit, which I'm not really.
01:45:45.320 You know, I'm just doing my life.
01:45:46.340 It's not any more important than anybody else's.
01:45:49.060 But in my head, that's really what I fucking thought.
01:45:51.180 And he said, look, man, you made it pretty clear you didn't want to continue the relationship.
01:45:57.780 But now you're calling me, so I see you do.
01:46:01.700 But I wrote you an email.
01:46:04.100 I was just getting ready to send.
01:46:06.220 And I'm going to send it anyway so you can see where I'm at.
01:46:11.540 And because resentment has an appetite I could never satisfy.
01:46:18.440 And that just stuck with me, man.
01:46:20.120 It's like you got a problem with somebody.
01:46:23.300 Even if your problem is not just, you got to say it, you know.
01:46:28.060 You got to say it.
01:46:28.860 That was, yeah.
01:46:30.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:46:31.560 And he just called me out with my shit.
01:46:33.200 Damn.
01:46:34.340 It's nice when something can come through and touch you, especially like in Hollywood, you know.
01:46:39.240 Its ego is so dangerous and it's easy and it happens to us without us even knowing it.
01:46:43.900 So over the years, bro.
01:46:46.740 Sneaks in.
01:46:47.600 It's crazy.
01:46:48.800 Slips in.
01:46:49.560 Like that snake and it fucking bit you, dog.
01:46:52.480 It's not even like the snake, bro.
01:46:53.940 It's like a snake that bites you real slow over 10 years.
01:46:58.400 Like a romantic snake, yeah.
01:47:00.360 The snake is like, boop.
01:47:02.480 You're going to the hospital, motherfucker, you know.
01:47:05.360 Did you feel when that snake got you like it was something?
01:47:07.900 Was it anybody in particular?
01:47:09.500 Did you like, oh, somebody sent this snake?
01:47:11.060 Like was there a thing in your head?
01:47:12.040 Dude, that's some Louisiana shit, dude.
01:47:14.220 God damn it, bro.
01:47:14.960 Fuck, dude.
01:47:16.420 I don't know, dude.
01:47:17.280 God damn it, Jeffrey.
01:47:19.060 Yeah, look.
01:47:20.040 He got me.
01:47:21.040 What?
01:47:22.380 I'm just saying, man.
01:47:23.420 If a snake came all the way up to the interstate, snake don't go by the interstate, bro.
01:47:27.080 What do you think it would have been like if I walked across Louisiana?
01:47:29.680 You think that would have been pretty cool?
01:47:32.900 There's a lot of drunk drivers down there.
01:47:34.800 That's the only risky part.
01:47:35.880 Outside of that, yeah, I think it would have been pretty cool.
01:47:37.660 Bro, I got some of those swampy areas.
01:47:40.000 Oh, dude, your crotch would have definitely, your nuts would have turned into a real hornet's nest, I bet, bro.
01:47:45.060 Oh, my gosh, dude.
01:47:46.760 Because, yeah, animals could live inside of your body down there.
01:47:49.420 They find dead people all the time.
01:47:50.660 They find a little animal in them.
01:47:51.880 I'm like, damn, what is this, bro?
01:47:52.920 Well, they died first, then the animal went in.
01:47:54.980 Well, who knows?
01:47:55.240 Or the animal went in and killed them from the inside.
01:47:57.320 A lot of people think that.
01:47:57.860 A lot of people think that.
01:47:58.780 How the animal get in.
01:47:59.980 Like, what kind of animals?
01:48:01.080 You're talking about some of those gerbils you ate, dude.
01:48:02.580 Yes, I'm just saying, bro.
01:48:04.620 If something stops by at night and you've been putting on weight, you won't even fucking notice, man.
01:48:08.940 Oh, my gosh, dude.
01:48:10.240 You won't even notice.
01:48:12.820 I would notice, dude.
01:48:14.620 Speak for yourself.
01:48:14.920 I could see you.
01:48:15.680 Yeah, my bad.
01:48:16.260 I wouldn't notice, man.
01:48:18.440 Mike walked across America and it's almost like you went all that way to meet yourself in some ways, man.
01:48:26.400 For sure.
01:48:26.720 It's wild.
01:48:27.360 100%.
01:48:28.280 100%.
01:48:29.540 Dude, it's captivating, man.
01:48:30.940 It's really, really inspiring.
01:48:32.240 Were you amazed by how many people were inspired by, like, who got on board and started to really feel inspiration from you?
01:48:39.820 Yeah, it was pretty great.
01:48:41.280 Because, you know, you're doing the thing for yourself.
01:48:44.380 And then, like I said, there's this shitty part of me that's doing it for attention, you know.
01:48:49.160 But you're able to recognize that and say those two things.
01:48:51.380 You've got to say it.
01:48:52.060 It's a smaller part, you know, but it's there.
01:48:55.040 But mainly, you know, and as I went along, they got smaller and I really, like, after I got by snake, I shut down.
01:49:05.140 Everybody walked with me because I didn't want anybody else to get hurt.
01:49:07.420 And it really became more of, like, my journey, you know.
01:49:12.380 And this is how I know because when I started to walk, I thought when I finish, I'm going to go.
01:49:20.760 But when I get to L.A., I'm going to post on Instagram and I'm going to walk across L.A.
01:49:28.680 I'm going to have, like, a thousand people behind me.
01:49:30.960 Oh, yeah.
01:49:31.340 I'm sure they'll be in our head.
01:49:32.760 You know, I'm going to have this.
01:49:34.200 News, helicopters.
01:49:35.160 I'm going to have a parade, you know.
01:49:36.820 Missiles.
01:49:37.660 And then as I got closer, I go, dude, you don't even fucking want that.
01:49:43.200 All you want to do is be there with the people you love the most.
01:49:48.300 It's not even the people you love the most.
01:49:49.620 Be there with the people you want to see in that moment.
01:49:53.600 And I didn't blow it up.
01:49:58.440 I actually did the opposite.
01:49:59.700 I did a post on it.
01:50:00.880 I'm like, hey, man, as you guys know, I'm getting close.
01:50:04.540 And some people have been writing in, like, can we walk with you?
01:50:07.700 Can we meet you at the end?
01:50:09.660 And I said, no, you can't, you know.
01:50:13.140 You can't walk with me that day.
01:50:14.720 I'm taking a vow of silence.
01:50:16.520 I'm not taking any fucking selfies that day.
01:50:18.800 I'm going.
01:50:19.980 I'm just going to finish it alone for me.
01:50:22.360 And that's really what I wanted.
01:50:24.180 And I had to ask for what I wanted.
01:50:26.180 And you know what happened?
01:50:27.080 I walked across L.A., man.
01:50:28.260 Some people recognized me.
01:50:29.400 All of them respected that.
01:50:31.200 Wow.
01:50:31.580 And they said, you know, they said, Mike, you know, we're not trying to slow you down.
01:50:34.660 Just, you know, finish up or keep going.
01:50:36.460 Everybody was cool with it.
01:50:37.780 But it's crazy.
01:50:40.420 You had to ask yourself for what you wanted.
01:50:42.060 That's really interesting.
01:50:42.860 I had to ask myself.
01:50:43.520 But what I wanted, what I'm saying is it changed.
01:50:46.140 Right.
01:50:46.880 The guy who started a while had this goofy vision and get this validation from a lot of people being there.
01:50:54.380 He wasn't, that's not really the guy that made it to the other side.
01:50:59.260 So it's interesting, like, because I think part of that attention wanting part of myself had to be there for me to start.
01:51:08.800 But then when I did the thing, man, that thing kind of died a little bit along the way.
01:51:14.400 You know, he didn't make it across, dude, really.
01:51:16.920 Yeah.
01:51:17.580 Oh, maybe a little bit.
01:51:18.640 He made it across.
01:51:19.820 He's a little weaker now.
01:51:21.220 I like that.
01:51:21.960 Yeah.
01:51:23.340 Man, thank you so much, Mike, for coming and talking, man.
01:51:25.860 Anytime.
01:51:26.260 And I just want to add, last thing.
01:51:28.620 I know you're wrapping it up, but I didn't say this on the record, but I told you before, that's how this whole thing started.
01:51:34.420 It was, you know, in between my segments, I would break up my day 8-8, usually 8, or 8-8-4-4, make 24, and it got a little longer towards the end.
01:51:48.700 But in between all my rips, that's what I called them, all my 8-mile rips, a lot of times we would put your shit on, dude, just fuck.
01:51:57.500 Because it's hard out there.
01:51:58.480 It's a grind.
01:51:59.180 I can imagine.
01:51:59.660 So me and Julian would be on there, and we'd just put your shit on.
01:52:02.480 And we'd be like, dude, this guy, man, we'd be laughing so hard.
01:52:05.900 And then we could just listen to one video.
01:52:07.680 You know, we'd lose service.
01:52:08.920 Yeah.
01:52:09.300 But when you lose service, one Dio Von joke, that lasts you like a month.
01:52:14.880 That nocturnal bus, dude, we'd just, like, I'd leave.
01:52:17.660 You know, I'd leave.
01:52:18.540 I'd walk eight miles.
01:52:21.020 You know, it takes me two, two and a half, two hours, 45, whatever.
01:52:24.440 I'd come back, man.
01:52:25.380 And I'd be like, dude, I'm chasing that bus, dude, that dream bus, dude.
01:52:29.860 You know, we just repeat that shit for, like, a month.
01:52:32.360 Yeah.
01:52:32.660 One joke.
01:52:33.380 That's awesome, man.
01:52:34.380 And one joke.
01:52:34.960 I'm glad I could be a little bitty part of it.
01:52:36.740 No, you helped so much, man.
01:52:38.440 So that's what I'm saying.
01:52:39.400 I'm chasing that bus, man.
01:52:40.620 That shit is, there's nothing like it, dude.
01:52:43.320 Get it while you can, bro.
01:52:45.380 Because that shit gets few and far between, bro.
01:52:47.580 The bus starts to rust, baby.
01:52:49.320 The bus starts to rust, dude.
01:52:50.780 Yeah, man, that thing.
01:52:55.260 God, man, there's nothing better than just blowing up in your sleep, bro.
01:53:00.360 You didn't have to do anything.
01:53:01.940 And the girl's usually beautiful.
01:53:04.100 It's usually a girl you really like.
01:53:05.160 I had some nightmare dream bus.
01:53:06.960 Oh, damn, dude.
01:53:07.940 What the fuck, bro?
01:53:08.620 I had some nightmare dream bus.
01:53:11.080 Oh, my God, dude.
01:53:12.820 Horrible.
01:53:13.420 I've never even heard of that.
01:53:14.420 Yeah.
01:53:15.240 It's where, it's where.
01:53:17.900 Who?
01:53:20.780 Who would come in a nightmare?
01:53:23.600 Bro, no, I'm having sex in the dream, but it's with a person I don't like.
01:53:28.400 Oh.
01:53:28.820 And in the, I think it only happened one time, if I'm being honest.
01:53:33.600 But I'm having sex with somebody I don't like, and I have no condom, and I come in the.
01:53:41.680 Oh, my God, bro.
01:53:42.980 And then I wake up, and then I came in real life in a dream bus, and I'm like, fuck, man.
01:53:50.100 This is how I'm starting this day off?
01:53:53.340 Good God.
01:53:54.920 This is horrible.
01:53:55.780 That's how half of America fucking got here, too.
01:53:58.800 Half of the people in existence became people, just how you said.
01:54:05.240 Somebody.
01:54:05.800 They didn't even like them.
01:54:06.860 Somebody didn't really, really, really like them at their core, probably.
01:54:10.000 Dude, people have ejaculated into a lot of people they didn't really enjoy, I bet.
01:54:14.060 Yeah, that's unbelievable, isn't it?
01:54:15.380 Horrible.
01:54:16.680 Horrible.
01:54:17.980 But, man, that's a terrible note to end on.
01:54:20.760 Yeah, it is, man.
01:54:21.840 But that's life, huh?
01:54:23.020 Yeah.
01:54:23.760 You got to keep going.
01:54:24.580 You got to keep going, dude.
01:54:28.120 What it is, though, man.
01:54:29.860 You have a new album that's out, too, if people want to hear songs from across your journey.
01:54:34.420 Yeah.
01:54:34.780 No, I actually made this thing before I left.
01:54:37.820 Okay.
01:54:38.040 I made an album basically for myself to listen to when it got hard.
01:54:43.660 And so I made these songs, and I got little messages from people I respect, like Steven
01:54:49.840 Tyler from Aerosmith.
01:54:51.180 Wow, yeah.
01:54:51.920 He's amazing.
01:54:52.660 And Diddy.
01:54:53.580 And my mom.
01:54:55.220 And Bun B, E-40.
01:54:57.520 And so there's the songs.
01:54:59.220 And there's little messages from them basically saying what they wanted me to remember when
01:55:04.380 it got hard.
01:55:05.280 Wow.
01:55:05.560 And I made this little project for myself, remind myself who I am.
01:55:11.760 And then, you know, after I walked with it a little while, I started to put songs out,
01:55:15.680 and then I put the whole mixtape out.
01:55:17.500 I call it mixtape, but it's an album.
01:55:18.680 It's called Keep Going.
01:55:19.680 Keep Going.
01:55:20.340 Yeah.
01:55:21.540 I'm going to keep going, man.
01:55:22.940 That's right, boy.
01:55:23.840 Amen, bro.
01:55:24.180 Hey, man, I appreciate you.
01:55:25.860 All the happiness you felt in the world, happiness you gave me, dude.
01:55:31.420 I can't tell you how much we laugh.
01:55:32.820 Well, thanks, man.
01:55:33.560 We're listening to you in the car on the way over just laughing.
01:55:35.340 I'm glad to be reminded that that's what I'm doing, because sometimes, yeah, you get
01:55:38.960 a little bit confused, you know, as to what's going on.
01:55:41.280 Because it's the point, right?
01:55:42.060 It's not making music or I'm walking across America, right?
01:55:45.400 It's supposed to, you know, nourish me, make me a better person at the same time, hopefully
01:55:51.600 help others along the way, make their journey a little easier.
01:55:55.760 And what you're doing here?
01:55:57.280 I think a lot of it, yeah, no, a lot of our listeners, I think, are, you know, are, I
01:56:00.740 mean, it's what else, it's outside of the walk, you know?
01:56:04.540 It's the walk that's going on inside of all of us, you know?
01:56:07.340 I think a lot of young men and women and even strong lesbians are feeling that shit right
01:56:11.960 now, bro.
01:56:12.560 Everybody, dude.
01:56:13.980 You know, so we're out there, man.
01:56:15.740 But thank you for being here, Michael.
01:56:18.140 You got it.
01:56:18.560 Appreciate it, man.
01:56:19.140 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:56:25.840 I must be cornerstone.
01:56:31.100 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
01:56:36.460 I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time
01:56:45.640 For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind
01:56:52.300 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories
01:57:01.960 Shine on me And I will find a song
01:57:11.160 I will sing it just for you
01:57:14.860 And now I've been moving way too fast
01:57:22.080 On a runaway train with a heavy load of my hand
01:57:25.960 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club
01:57:32.360 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:57:36.040 Stand-up stories
01:57:37.260 And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:57:39.580 The answer may shock you
01:57:41.480 Sometimes I'll interview my friends
01:57:43.500 Sometimes I won't
01:57:44.820 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:57:48.320 You have three new voice messages
01:57:51.180 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:57:54.200 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:57:57.000 Longer than anybody else
01:57:58.640 So great
01:57:59.420 Aye, sweetheart
01:58:01.200 Easy deal
01:58:02.480 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club
01:58:04.940 Is a dodgy bloody wanker
01:58:06.980 Jermaine
01:58:07.660 Ho ho, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese
01:58:10.960 And a McFlurry
01:58:12.000 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken
01:58:13.840 Ho ho ho!
01:58:15.500 No!
01:58:16.460 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me
01:58:18.800 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is
01:58:21.200 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:58:22.920 Second rule of Kite Club is
01:58:24.860 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:58:27.100 Third rule
01:58:27.880 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts
01:58:30.500 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:58:33.120 And yes, don't worry
01:58:34.160 My Brad Pitt impression will get better