Mike Posner | This Past Weekend #241
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 58 minutes
Words per Minute
185.67775
Summary
In this episode, we sit down with Mike and talk about his first year of backpacking. Mike talks about how he got into backpacking, the challenges he faced, and the people who helped him along the way.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I was in Colorado, and I met this guy named Stevie, and he's running across America the opposite way, right?
00:00:09.380
And he actually, I mean, God bless Stevie, but he turned around and walked the wrong way to talk with me all day.
00:00:17.820
I wouldn't have done that. I love Stevie, but, bro, I'm not going east, bro.
00:00:44.920
Were you guys, like, grilling out in the evening, doing any fresh veggies, or did you have, like, a certain caloric intake?
00:00:54.820
I was wearing this thing, this whoop thing, at the beginning.
00:00:57.760
I lost a battery for it halfway through, but it would basically tell me my output, caloric output.
00:01:04.980
At the beginning, it was spitting out crazy, you know, like 8,000, 10,000.
00:01:13.700
I think as I walked more, I started to get more used to it, and I was eating a little less.
00:01:22.480
And, man, you had to stop and shit a lot, too, because you're eating so much.
00:01:32.680
A lot of times, it'd be like just pooping on the side of it.
00:01:35.060
I'm like, man, I want to keep walking, but it's like, fuck.
00:01:38.920
I can't poop if I see broken glass near me, you know?
00:01:41.940
So I think some of that kind of outdoor kind of stuff, I don't have as much strength when
00:01:51.680
I'm not letting my asshole open up if there's broken glass nearby.
00:01:57.540
I'm like, I'm no Roman warrior, but I know that, you know?
00:02:07.580
And you have two of your buddies that are here today, too.
00:02:14.220
Just let the listeners know who they are in case they hear some...
00:02:16.980
Yeah, my buddy Julian's here, who was one of my walk managers.
00:02:21.540
Basically, I walk supported, which means that I wasn't backpacking.
00:02:26.940
As I walked, we had a support vehicle that Julian drove, and he basically sort out a lot
00:02:39.360
And I didn't have to carry everything on my back.
00:02:41.300
And I always try to make that clear, because there are people out there right now and every
00:02:50.240
Is there a lot of street beef between people who have...
00:02:52.160
No, mostly everyone's very supportive of each other.
00:02:55.560
Every once in a while, I got a little bit, I think, just because I was more of a public
00:03:01.160
figure when I started, so I think a few people kind of get their feathers ruffled, but that's
00:03:07.060
Most of the people are just really supportive of each other.
00:03:11.480
And so Julian, when he would take turns, there was another guy, Colin, basically.
00:03:15.780
Julian would go home for a few months, and Colin would come.
00:03:21.080
I know we were talking about it when you were in the restroom, but just to have that
00:03:23.800
much, like, yeah, to have somebody that's just so patient to be there.
00:04:01.540
And I might touch both of those two, three times during the day.
00:04:05.220
I noticed you said, like, yeah, you take in the calories and you would start to learn,
00:04:11.360
okay, I have this input and this output, you know, that you were kind of monitoring in the beginning.
00:04:22.500
In the beginning, did you feel more like a human?
00:04:24.840
And by the end, did you feel more like a machine?
00:04:31.180
But it just had me kind of thinking about that.
00:04:46.200
Will you guys do it for a pre-walk before the walk or any, like, jog or anything before to, like, get heated up?
00:04:51.680
The first thing I do at 4 is I meditate for 20, 30 minutes.
00:04:57.840
And then, Julian, you have, like, a little fruit out.
00:05:01.860
You know, I have a couple bananas and some peanut butter.
00:05:19.280
And, you know, I just stretch out a little bit.
00:05:22.240
And then I just try to get out the door as soon as possible.
00:05:28.040
You know, walking in the summer, you know, you got to get those miles in before, you know, it's 3 p.m.
00:05:42.940
So were there some days where you started late and you're like, man, you got in a jam?
00:05:45.840
Like, was that something you kind of learned early?
00:05:48.780
The learning curve must have been pretty steep, huh?
00:05:54.960
I think there's other guys I talk to that are either running or walking across.
00:05:59.600
And they have more a loosey-goosey thing where they would...
00:06:05.700
They're just able to wake up and kind of do what they felt like doing that day.
00:06:27.360
Those that hit the snooze and those that don't.
00:06:29.560
And then there's this David Goggins quote I love about...
00:06:32.540
He said, you don't hit the snooze button because if you do, you wake up already failing.
00:06:38.820
So that thing would go off, you know, four in the morning.
00:06:42.200
And I never wanted to wake up and walk zero days that I go, oh, yes, 4 a.m., let's get none.
00:06:49.560
But the big part of me, you know, the big part of me that I actually wanted to accomplish this goal, you know, got my ass out of bed every day.
00:06:58.800
And I thought, you know, when I set out in this walk, I was going to have kind of like a hippy-dippy, free-flowing walk across America.
00:07:10.140
I meet somebody and I stay there in their town for four or five days, catch the vibe.
00:07:17.520
But I start this thing, you know, and at the beginning, I couldn't walk as many miles as I could at the end, obviously.
00:07:26.880
You know, on the second day, I think I got 10 or something like that.
00:07:30.580
And so I started doing the math and the whole thing, you know, the whole like scheduling navigational part is really based around the mountain.
00:07:40.140
You don't want to be in the Rocky Mountains in winter.
00:07:48.300
Yeah, you're going to write one of those books where you die at the end like that boy.
00:07:52.060
Well, somebody else is going to write that book.
00:07:56.160
He ate some bad berries or something or fruit at the end.
00:08:00.100
So at least you got jewelry when covering your fruit, you know what I'm saying, tasting your fruit for you first in the morning.
00:08:04.980
And if he's still alive at 6.15, you're like, well, let's fucking rock, bro.
00:08:10.620
Because that boy died at some bad berries or something.
00:08:14.660
So I don't forget, did you have a music that was on your alarm every day that you would wake up to?
00:08:26.380
You know, when I first started the walk, because I was removed from basically all my friends and family, I noticed I was actually on my phone more.
00:08:39.760
You know, I always thought, like, I'll be out in nature.
00:08:41.620
And then lo and behold, I'm out walking across America, walking across New Jersey and Pennsylvania, and I'm on my phone, like, all the time.
00:08:49.820
Like, I'm taking pictures of every fucking flower and put them on Instagram, all this shit.
00:08:55.260
And I realized, like, I don't know, a couple weeks in or a month in, like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
00:09:00.940
Like, you could play on your phone anywhere, man.
00:09:05.100
Even if we look at your chart, like, on the post, I mean, we have your, you know, mikeposner.com, and it shows your walk across and the path that you took.
00:09:18.200
And then the second half, it's an eighth as much, it looks like.
00:09:23.680
Yeah, something happened in there where you're like, oh, man, I'm.
00:09:26.800
Well, I started off, yeah, just realizing I was fucking missing it.
00:09:31.480
And then I was in Colorado, and I met this guy named Stevie.
00:09:36.560
And he's running across America the opposite way, right?
00:09:42.780
And he actually, I mean, God bless Stevie, but he turned around and walked the wrong way to talk with me all day.
00:09:51.900
I love Stevie, but, bro, I'm not going east, bro.
00:10:16.120
But every time you saw him, dude, he was coming at an angle.
00:10:20.640
And he walked shoulder first like he was a shark.
00:10:25.700
You'd just be hanging out around town, and you'd fucking see Shane go by, bro.
00:10:40.080
It was almost like he was caught in an air current just fucking cruising the world.
00:10:57.400
Was it hard to start to separate yourself from social media?
00:11:00.420
I mean, because there's, there's, this must be weeks where you don't do a post, where
00:11:05.880
I actually don't know if that's exactly what the fuck those stars mean.
00:11:14.200
But it definitely became less, like you're saying.
00:11:16.060
I would, I stopped using my phone when I was walking.
00:11:21.440
I met Stevie and this guy, at the time, I'm walking, supported, 24 miles a day.
00:11:28.240
And he is running, unsupported, 30 to 40 miles per day.
00:11:33.900
And not only that, he looks at me, he goes, yeah, man, I didn't bring headphones on purpose
00:11:38.520
because I wanted to, I wanted to face all my demons and just be there.
00:11:43.560
And so basically, the two days after I met him, I got bit by a rattlesnake.
00:11:51.480
I thought I was going to get the antivin and I'd be back walking the next day.
00:11:54.540
It turns out it's a bigger deal than I thought I was in the ICU.
00:12:11.340
What happened during that three weeks that was, I mean, I definitely went back and saw some posts
00:12:15.740
and stuff, but what was, was, I saw one post you were talking about how comfortable it was
00:12:21.380
almost to be back in like, especially a hospital.
00:12:24.940
I love things where they're taking care of you and somebody's coming in and, you know,
00:12:28.540
it's lunchtime, it's Valium, it's Thursday, you know, it's whatever, you know, it's like,
00:12:34.440
it's just so much care for you in like a, in a medical environment.
00:12:40.140
You know, there's the nurses, there's just constant care and it feels good.
00:12:43.000
And, um, and I saw you, uh, talk about where, yeah, it was like almost hard to let some of
00:12:48.740
that, you know, it was like you were back into this real comfortable place.
00:12:51.560
The real small part of me, you know, you got to understand at the time I got bit by that
00:12:56.220
snake, I'm walking pretty much eight hours a day, completely alone, sweating it out,
00:13:02.600
you know, it's early August and shit was fucking hard, man.
00:13:08.540
And so, and my feet felt like they were fucking broken.
00:13:11.940
You know, I wake up in the morning, stand up and it just felt terrible.
00:13:17.440
You know, like I could barely stand up some days.
00:13:19.620
Was it the muscles, the bone, are you getting worn down?
00:13:22.420
Like, uh, it turns out it was blisters too, but it turns out it was just the muscles.
00:13:31.500
But, but at the time I thought they were broken.
00:13:33.700
I thought I was going to finish and I go to the doctor and be like, he's going to be like,
00:13:39.000
But it was really, I was kind of a bitch and I just hadn't felt that kind of soreness and pain yet.
00:13:46.920
And, um, basically, yeah, I went to the hospital and people always say, man, was that the hardest day or walk?
00:14:11.320
And like doctors, you know, just making sure I'm cool.
00:14:14.980
And, you know, you want something to eat, you just hit a buzzer.
00:14:24.080
And meanwhile, you know, like online, there's this outpouring of sympathy and support.
00:14:34.940
You're like, damn, I couldn't have hired a snake to come out.
00:14:38.920
Julian's been training the snake for two months in the van.
00:14:43.920
Dude, so, you know, the weak part of me, the little me, he wants to stay there.
00:14:50.820
He wants to stay getting all that attention, that nice food, that air conditioning, nice
00:15:03.280
I felt it even in myself a little bit falling into kind of trying to milk it.
00:15:12.420
You know, you're actually creating suffering or making up suffering that's not really there
00:15:17.240
in order to get attention, basically, to get sympathy, to have an excuse.
00:15:27.500
You know, the big me had to talk to the little me and say, look, you're getting better, motherfucker.
00:15:36.140
And, you know, the good thing is when I started this, you do something like this and really do
00:15:42.120
anything worthwhile in life, the shit's going to be hard.
00:15:45.540
As you know, to get where you're sitting right now, it wasn't easy.
00:15:50.960
How many times you had to fail and stuff to have what you got now?
00:15:58.020
And so the thing is, you have to have a no matter what clause in any contract you got
00:16:06.560
Well, I think it's just interesting you're able to have that conversation with yourself.
00:16:09.780
You know, I've heard you say it a couple of times, the little me.
00:16:15.300
I struggle with that kind of stuff a lot, you know, like the first part of me not wanting
00:16:19.780
to be, not being strong enough, not wanting to, you know, not being brave enough or not
00:16:25.140
thinking that I can or wanting to take the easy way out, you know?
00:16:31.000
And then to try and get this bigger picture, you know, and just tools to say, look, you
00:16:40.780
know, like, you know, you got to move, you know, you got to get going.
00:16:46.860
Like, you got to, there's this little speed bump in the beginning, and if you can get over
00:16:56.160
But that little speed bump is so powerful a lot of times, man.
00:17:00.120
And so for you to see that you can have this bigger you that's talking to this little
00:17:03.460
you, yeah, man, I can just totally relate to that, you know?
00:17:08.440
And a lot of times, you know, to be more accurate, I didn't really have to talk to myself in that
00:17:14.600
moment because when I started, I had decided I was going to walk across America.
00:17:26.200
But what I would say to myself is, I'm going to walk across America no matter what.
00:17:36.820
If I break my leg out here, I'm going to let that mother heal, and I'm going to go to the
00:17:43.180
spot where I broke my leg, and I'm going to finish.
00:17:51.000
So when the snake thing happened, I didn't have to have a conversation with myself.
00:17:55.460
I have to decide, you know, hey, I'm going to go back.
00:18:02.000
And it helps, you know, I had a lot of support, too.
00:18:08.060
You know, sometimes I would call him and be like, dude, my feet feel awful.
00:18:15.160
And he'd be like, he'd go, yeah, motherfucker, they're supposed to, you know?
00:18:43.740
It sounds like my toenails are long and I got fucking hairy feet or some fungus, dude.
00:18:54.320
Dude, no, it's like you start to reorient yourself around this hardship because most of my life,
00:19:02.720
basically my whole life, 30 years before I went on this walk,
00:19:06.440
it was oriented around making it more comfortable and just like a bunch of bullshit, you know?
00:19:15.500
It's like, hey, you know, maybe if I play this game a little better,
00:19:20.260
I'll move from this neighborhood in West Hollywood to this neighborhood in the fucking Hollywood Hills.
00:19:26.860
And instead of this, I'll date this person and then I'll feel better.
00:19:33.360
And I'll sort of zoom out on my life and realize I'm playing in a fucking sandbox right now.
00:19:43.320
And I'm going, hey, that toy that he has over there looks nice.
00:19:55.300
And I was doing, quote, what I was supposed to do.
00:20:05.640
But my life was sort of designed by a 21-year-old me trying to break into L.A. and become famous.
00:20:16.140
And I'm 31 and I'm living the same fucking lifestyle.
00:20:20.360
And so there's this incongruency between who I am now and the life I'm living.
00:20:27.660
Yeah, and the channel that you're kind of still kind of wandering.
00:20:33.720
And there is no one that's going to bring those two things into congruency but me.
00:20:46.460
He's going to say, you finished the album, we got support that album going tour.
00:20:50.020
You finished the tour, let's get another album.
00:21:00.460
But I slowly realized I'm living someone else's life.
00:21:09.320
And that thing fucking sneaks up on your ass, man.
00:21:15.120
It's not some like come to God moment or anything.
00:21:18.580
It's like you slowly realize, man, what I really want to do is this walk, and I'm not doing it.
00:21:35.600
And you got to start the thing in spring for what we talked about.
00:21:43.800
And, you know, then I go out on the walk, right?
00:21:51.640
And as I'm going, I meet a lot of people, nice people, good people.
00:21:56.000
And they come up to me and say, hey, you know, what you're doing is very inspiring.
00:22:01.820
And they say, you know, I really like to do something like that one day, but right now, I don't have enough time, or I don't have enough money, or I'm too old, or I'm too young.
00:22:35.620
They feel so much pressure to go get a good job and be successful right away.
00:22:41.200
I'm telling you, I meet an A tier and tell me, yeah, man, I'm just too young.
00:22:46.140
And I'm sitting there like, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:22:53.660
But whatever that thing is for you, you know, 95% of the people listening to this, 95% of the people I meet,
00:23:02.400
And it doesn't have to be a drop everything, quit my job.
00:23:06.480
It's just a thing that you know you want to do, you are called to do, and you have an excuse why you're not fucking doing it right now.
00:23:21.000
You have an excuse wearing a reason as a cape, brother.
00:23:27.960
Whatever that thing is, whether it's starting a business, whether it's hitting a gym, I don't give a fuck what it is.
00:23:38.020
Whatever your thing is, and your reason for not doing it, that's exactly right what you said, really look at it, look in the mirror.
00:23:49.520
That reason, I can almost guarantee you, is a fucking excuse.
00:23:53.460
And it's just your cop-out for not living your life, for taking the easy way out.
00:24:02.000
You know, it's like a few years ago, my dad died, and my collaborator, Avicii, he died.
00:24:10.900
A guy who used to do shows with Mac Miller, he died.
00:24:13.400
In February, one of my friends I grew up with, Ronnie, died.
00:24:16.620
And it's like, hey, man, you know, I'm living healthy.
00:24:19.460
Hopefully, there's no time soon, but you're going to die one day, too.
00:24:23.780
And you can either live your life before that happens or not.
00:24:31.500
Did some of that death that came into your life, do you feel like that was kind of some of the stuff that really threw the gas on?
00:24:39.460
You know, you said it had been a few years where you kind of, you know, something had come up around the springtime.
00:24:46.140
What was it you think that was that last thing?
00:24:48.120
Was it that you'd already told so many people you were going to do this walk?
00:24:51.360
Like, how did that all kind of where it's like, okay, I got to take this step?
00:25:00.880
I sound weird to say this, but there's something beautiful about death.
00:25:05.820
If you haven't been around or had a close one die, you will soon.
00:25:09.680
And each time that happens, I feel like there's this, like, for me, it's about two weeks there where all the bullshit, traps, mind games that I'm usually in, they fade out, and I can see what's actually important to me.
00:25:27.720
Yeah, it's almost like other people, when they do die, or whatever, the thing that permeates from them is this value of existence that really hits the rest of us pretty severe.
00:25:43.620
And I really believe when you acknowledge you're going to have a death, you can start to live a good life.
00:25:52.640
And so the thing is, that shit always lasts for, like, a few weeks for me.
00:25:57.500
And it'll go away, and I'll start to just get caught up in bullshit.
00:26:00.740
And so, yeah, when Avicii died, it was a big reminder.
00:26:09.420
And I remember just thinking, like, man, I've got to go on the wall.
00:26:11.520
I actually wanted to go, like, immediately, but I didn't have anything prepared or nothing.
00:26:16.780
So I was like, all right, dude, wait until the spring.
00:26:20.480
Yeah, wait until Julian can tell his mom he's going out of town.
00:26:33.180
It's so funny how, yeah, it's so funny when I had a buddy that passed away a couple weeks ago.
00:26:45.980
But, yeah, we went to his service, and it was just like, man, if he could be doing anything, he would just be alive.
00:26:55.180
You know, and it's like, it's so hard to get a ration, to get like a, make your life feel tangible to you sometimes as we get older.
00:27:03.560
You know, when you're young, it feels like so, I mean, you don't really have that much of a concept of being alive.
00:27:14.480
And then we get older, and it's almost like we get so much in these grooves of society and of life that it's hard to get it back to a level where it feels like tangible, you know, where it feels, where you feel alive and not just kind of part of what's going on.
00:27:33.220
Did you have, I can imagine you probably had a lot of experiences of feeling alive on this journey.
00:27:38.160
Yeah, no, so as you're talking, it was like, you know, reminding me that I was, that was why I left, you know, that's why I pulled the trigger on this thing.
00:27:47.220
It was like, a friend of mine said, man, so he starts doing the math, and he's thinking about my career and all that stuff.
00:27:56.740
He's looking, you know, he's going to take you six months to a year, and he says to me, so you're basically giving up a year of your life to do this.
00:28:05.240
I don't know what I thought about for a second, and I go, I'm basically taking one back.
00:28:16.500
I'm getting out of those grooves you're just talking about.
00:28:22.880
It's just cool, you know, when I can boil down, you know, that's the reason.
00:28:26.380
Wow, that's pretty powerful, man, to think about that, of taking your life back.
00:28:30.160
You know, I can boil down, there's a lot of reasons why I walked, you know.
00:28:36.280
Some of them are small, some of them are big, some of them are shitty reasons.
00:28:40.340
Like, one small reason is I wanted the fucking attention from it.
00:28:47.640
But the main reason I went out, if I can really put, I couldn't even articulate this before I left.
00:28:53.680
I had to do the fucking thing to be able to say it, was I wanted to become somebody that I was actually proud of.
00:29:04.520
So I wanted somebody to say, you know, who inspires you?
00:29:12.340
I wanted to be able to look them in the eye and say, me, you know.
00:29:33.780
It's like creating a life that actually inspires you.
00:29:37.200
You know, it's like my goal shouldn't be something that, like, isn't inspiring, isn't cool to me.
00:29:48.420
It's a little less cool to me now, honestly, now I've done it.
00:29:51.040
And I met all these people that have done it, like, in more badass ways and faster, just to be totally honest.
00:30:00.400
Other people I tell about it, they're like, dude, you're an idiot.
00:30:14.600
Were you amazed at some of the feelings that started, like, some of the reasoning you did
00:30:19.500
it started to become more clear after you started?
00:30:24.620
Were you like, holy shit, if I hadn't even started on this, I would have never gotten
00:30:28.160
to some of these feelings and revelations and stuff for myself because I couldn't even
00:30:33.940
I mean, I felt like, I still do feel like a completely different person.
00:30:39.860
Even if I look at interviews of myself before, I was kind of like, sometimes I won't punch
00:30:49.860
I don't even know if other people could see it, but I can see it.
00:30:53.660
I was more, I would like, if you were saying some stuff I didn't really agree with, I'd be
00:30:59.540
like, yeah, man, I would just fucking agree with you.
00:31:01.900
Dude, I was more, I was less real, less authentic, more afraid of conflict.
00:31:08.480
Um, man, just, just like not as, not as good a person, I feel like.
00:31:12.900
And I thought I was going to become, I talked earlier, I thought I was going to have this
00:31:19.100
And I was, I thought I was going to become like softer, but the opposite happened.
00:31:23.520
I had to tap into like discipline and focus every day.
00:31:32.940
Was there, um, yeah, were there, were you surprised that some of the toughness that
00:31:39.080
Like, did you ever kind of like, did you have some moments where I could see, imagine having
00:31:43.140
some moments like Jesus Christ, man, I didn't know.
00:31:45.900
Because I feel like for me, I always hope that there's certain, there's a certain person
00:31:51.860
inside of me that I don't get to see that much.
00:31:53.580
You know, there's like a power, there's like, you know, someone that's extremely confident
00:32:00.960
Did, did, did, did people that you didn't know, parts of yourself that you didn't know,
00:32:04.400
did it, did they come to the surface sometimes?
00:32:12.380
Imagine you, you never even noticed swimming up to the fucking surface.
00:32:19.500
So, before I left, I had this inkling that there was more in me, a little more in me
00:32:29.820
And I think, I think that's the problem with a lot, especially men, is we know we got this
00:32:38.500
We got, got this greatness, untapped motherfucking thing.
00:32:42.920
And you don't know what the fuck to do with it, where to point it.
00:32:46.200
And a lot of times we can point it the wrong direction and it, it fucks everything up.
00:32:53.040
And I had this little, I just had this inkling, there's a little more in you than you are given
00:33:01.140
So, I went out on this thing and I found, I was wrong.
00:33:07.820
It's not a little more in you, it's a fuck ton more in you, man.
00:33:12.760
It's way more, like, it's way, and I still don't know.
00:33:15.300
I feel like I just scratched the surface of it.
00:33:17.940
So, you know, now it's my job to keep exploring and figure out what that looks like for me.
00:33:26.840
It's not like I'm a, like, you're not going to recognize me.
00:33:29.840
I still got all my, like I said, I'm a goofy guy too.
00:33:33.320
But there's this dog part of me, you know, that I think I was trying to suppress a lot
00:33:42.960
And I look in the mirror, you know, maybe do some affirmations or meditation.
00:34:00.040
Because you haven't given, you haven't shown any evidence in your real life.
00:34:07.480
And you actually don't need to do an affirmation, you know?
00:34:26.200
Some other dude, you know, might be too fucking hard.
00:34:35.180
That burning man, they say, you don't get the burn you want, get the burn you need.
00:34:40.340
And I say, you don't get the walk you want, you get the walk you need.
00:34:45.220
Tell me about some of the vagrants out there, bro.
00:34:52.320
They had a river behind us, and they had a rest area on the other side of it.
00:34:58.700
A lot of men would meet up there, you know, doing drugs, doing sex, you know, river sex.
00:35:10.660
And anyway, but a lot of it was drug-induced kind of sex.
00:35:14.380
These men probably had families and stuff, but they were doing drugs.
00:35:17.580
But did you get to stop in any unique rest areas?
00:35:20.820
Was there some decent, you know, road warriors out there?
00:35:26.320
Did hitchhikers look at you like, oh, look at this fucking guy.
00:35:31.280
You know, at the time, I had the big beard, like I do now.
00:35:37.280
I looked pretty fucking crazy, so no one really gave me, no one gave me really, like, much
00:35:43.200
A few dogs came out, you know, looking for, looking for a, looking at the tango.
00:35:51.040
And what state was that in where these dogs are at?
00:35:53.680
I mean, they're in every state, but the one that came at me the most, I had two in Colorado
00:36:28.040
The way you say, yeah, your voice drops an octave, dude.
00:37:16.060
And everyone's telling us, yeah, man, just be careful when you get to Springfield.
00:37:27.080
And usually the places they warn you about are the best places.
00:37:33.500
And Julian, you know, part of his job would be to figure out where we're going to sleep each night.
00:37:44.180
So if there's Walmarts, we could usually park there.
00:37:47.980
And so just like that, there was a Walmart right on our route, which is perfect.
00:37:54.560
And he's like, that's where we'll stop that night.
00:38:04.600
And I'm like, hey, Julian, I'm going to go take a dookie in the Walmart.
00:38:24.600
I think there's nothing more American than, you know, pulling over the shit at a Walmart.
00:38:33.740
Except sometimes people write stuff on the outside wall.
00:38:43.440
There's something worse than a Sharpie message on a stall.
00:38:57.300
You know, I think I'm in a freaking handicapped stall, which I shouldn't be.
00:39:08.440
The complete opposite of being handicapped is walking all the way to the Walmart.
00:39:45.160
And I can see there's another stall next to me.
00:40:04.900
Why is this guy knocking on the door when there's an open stall here?
00:40:28.400
How are you going to know somebody that's just in a shitter behind a door?
00:42:04.320
I think he left the room, but I'm fired up, man.
00:42:07.500
Oh, and that's hard as shit when you're real fired up.
00:42:16.560
But I'm fired up, and I'm ready to, like, fight this guy.
00:42:21.640
And I was using, you know, Sherlock Poe's, you know, I was looking at those gloves.
00:42:34.740
But I still don't know what was, like, is there some kind of weird meetup that happens in that bat?
00:42:39.280
Like, what do you make, what theory do you have to explain that?
00:42:52.240
I could see people getting off work, and maybe you.
00:42:58.180
If you gave out a certain vibe or something, you walked through the store, did you think you were doing that?
00:43:02.680
Were you kind of peacocking as you went through it or something?
00:43:05.180
Dude, everywhere I went on this walk, I did not feel.
00:43:11.900
So, maybe this guy had daydreamed that a man came in like you, you know?
00:43:16.860
You don't know where his life is meeting you at.
00:43:18.960
But that's wild, dude, to do a pull-up in those fucking.
00:43:32.120
I'm thinking there's some sort of weird, weird meetup for, like, truckers.
00:43:39.900
The quick, let's discuss why the gloves were on, though.
00:43:58.400
Because this dude, if he's out there like that, you know, maybe he's like a pianist, but don't
00:44:08.540
I used to work at a sandwich place, and I don't like wearing those.
00:44:11.820
Dude, you know I hooked up one time with Jared from Subway's sister one time a long time ago.
00:44:19.500
But it was a long time ago, but it was still, you know, it happened.
00:44:30.360
I ended up meeting her that night, and people were like, hey, that's Jared from Subway's sister.
00:44:37.460
Were there, how much fandom did you have across?
00:44:39.840
Because you were a, I mean, you were a, you were a very.
00:44:44.380
You're a very big, you're a big producer, musician, entertainer.
00:44:51.780
And thinker, I think, is something that even more people are probably going to start to
00:44:55.940
see you as, or something that I personally, so I can't speak for everybody, but.
00:45:02.400
But did, yeah, how much fandom did you run into, or, you know, people that are supporters
00:45:06.580
Well, first of all, I've had some popular music, but I live a pretty normal life.
00:45:15.200
Most people don't know what my face looks like, which is pretty awesome.
00:45:18.880
You know, I can go to the store or whatever, and it's not a problem.
00:45:25.340
And if you, I'm sure you have some friends who are like really famous.
00:45:32.800
It's like, it takes a lot, just a lot of extra work to do normal stuff.
00:45:38.140
And probably something that takes you even further.
00:45:39.840
We talk a lot about in here about like fame and what is the real value in it, you know,
00:45:44.660
and what is like, just how much of a sidetrack it can be to being a human.
00:45:54.140
You see a lot of young guys these days who are struggling because of the fame, you know,
00:45:58.420
something you can't live up to as a person, just as one person.
00:46:02.800
You can't match that, this fictional kind of, you know, ambiance or this crystal ball,
00:46:09.580
you know, or this disco ball that's kind of created.
00:46:16.000
And you see a lot of people, you know, struggling with it.
00:46:19.180
You know, I mean, even Justin Bieber, you see him recently come out about,
00:46:21.500
opening up about a lot of his struggles, which I think is pretty cool.
00:46:25.240
But just the value of fame, I think, is, it's not as valuable, I think, as a lot of people think it is.
00:46:31.440
It's valuable in this way, but not so much in this way.
00:46:41.260
But to answer your question, man, at the beginning of my walk, I said publicly, I'll walk with anybody.
00:46:51.980
And so people would come from all over, and they'd walk with me, and it was very beautiful.
00:46:58.000
You know, my job when they showed up was to listen.
00:47:02.900
I fucked it up sometimes, a lot, you know, because they start asking me questions.
00:47:13.860
And there's a lot of people, and I would just ask, you know, every time someone showed up,
00:47:31.840
Some people, they just wanted to go on, like, a wild goose hunt, you know, whatever they call it,
00:47:37.700
because they know roughly where I am, but not exactly, and it was just a fun thing to do on Saturday.
00:47:43.340
Like, you're like, there's Easter egg that's missing in the world.
00:47:45.260
Yeah, they just wanted a picture, but some people had some shit they wanted to talk about
00:47:48.980
that they felt like they couldn't tell to anybody else, you know?
00:47:52.620
So it was just different every time, and it was really beautiful,
00:47:55.380
because even if somebody is real excited, you know, as, like, a fan or something like that,
00:48:02.760
you walk, you know, you walk, like, two, three miles, the sun starts beating down on you.
00:48:07.000
Real quick, real quick, you're just two dudes out there.
00:48:15.260
It's like you could walk right out of your, this, like, encasing kind of that happens sometimes
00:48:23.440
It takes a minute, and one of my, I would call him a mentor, he's a hospice chaplain.
00:48:33.360
And before I left, he kind of gave me a lecture on listening.
00:48:38.380
And he said, Mike, there's three levels of listening.
00:48:40.640
The first is contextual, meaning I say, hey, my dad died two years ago.
00:48:55.180
And that's, my dad died two years ago, and I felt lost.
00:49:10.260
But it was the first time I felt like a man changed who I was, or the first time I felt
00:49:18.600
And so, if you, he taught, you know, if you can move the conversation away from step one
00:49:24.180
to two to three, then there can be healing, he says.
00:49:32.520
And so, that's why I was trying to listen to people, and it's just certain cues and questions
00:49:38.520
he gave me, where it's just like, tell me more about that, or how did that, you know,
00:49:43.040
what did that change for you, is a question you can ask.
00:49:47.020
Ask people, and you're trying to take it out of small talk.
00:49:50.520
Yeah, because you can really connect with people at that level, too, and it makes it so, it
00:49:54.360
feels so good to connect with somebody at a level where you're both just human souls,
00:50:00.740
kind of that, because you can, you know what it's like to need something, and when you
00:50:05.140
hear somebody need something, or people are sharing what they need, man, it's just such
00:50:10.880
a magnet, you know, it's such a comfortable place.
00:50:25.460
And the last one he gave me, you know, he said, if all that shit doesn't work, you're
00:50:30.360
saying goodbye, you ask them, if I pray for you, what should I pray for?
00:50:37.580
I asked that question about 20,000 times on this walk, you know, just from New Jersey
00:50:44.640
And people will tell you, man, pray for me, my sobriety, pray for my family.
00:50:51.760
In the Navajo Nation, they say pray for my people a lot.
00:50:56.900
So, you know, and then you get out, you get out of level one, get to go a little deeper.
00:51:02.880
Was that one of the most popular answers, people praying for their sobriety?
00:51:05.360
There's a lot of people, a lot of people with sobriety came out.
00:51:09.320
I wouldn't say like a lot, I wouldn't say like an abnormal percentage, but yeah, some
00:51:13.680
people, you know, the guy I'm thinking of when I say that, it was one of the most touching
00:51:19.440
things happening, things happen on the whole walk.
00:51:25.500
This dude, I was walking in Arizona on the Hualapai Reservation.
00:51:33.340
And I'm having sort of an end of the day, tough day.
00:51:42.680
And this guy stops, pulls his red F-350, pulls the side of the road ahead of me, and starts
00:51:54.140
And I'm like, oh, what's this going to be like, you know?
00:52:07.200
So, dude, he like kind of dangerously like crosses the road.
00:52:11.800
I'm like, oh gosh, like don't get hit by a car, please, bro.
00:52:17.220
He's like, y'all, I've just been following you.
00:52:24.540
And we just had this little, honestly, I was tired.
00:52:38.140
I said, if I pray for you, what should I pray for?
00:52:48.200
Yeah, he's just, you know, several years ago, my dad died of alcohol.
00:52:55.120
You know, he got a lot of alcoholism on those reservations.
00:52:59.520
And a few years after that, my, I think it was his brother, he died from alcohol.
00:53:10.000
And this is like last year on Easter, my mom died of alcohol.
00:53:22.040
So I would say, just pray for, I have a problem with alcohol, too.
00:53:27.920
I can't remember how long, but just pray for my sobriety.
00:53:46.040
I'm going to scare him back to his truck, dude.
00:53:52.200
So he goes up to his truck, and he had this little leather pouch, and it's tied to like,
00:53:58.800
you know, you drive the car like this, and there's the little handle there sometimes in
00:54:03.260
It's tied there real tight, looped around, little leather pouch.
00:54:09.800
He said, hey, man, this is, this is in our tradition.
00:54:17.780
And we believe sometimes spirits or souls, they get lost right here where you're walking.
00:54:23.280
And this is just, you know, in our tradition, we believe it's to protect you.
00:54:29.440
And I thought, fuck, man, you know, he left, and he put his fucking hand out the window
00:54:38.440
like this, you know, drove by, drove away from me.
00:54:44.720
That shit just, after he left, shit just hit me right in the heart.
00:54:47.800
Like, how did this guy, man, this guy, first off, I'm a white guy walking on his land, you
00:54:54.960
Right, which probably, yeah, but traditionally, it didn't really work out well.
00:54:58.040
Nah, we fucked, we fucked them over every single type of way possible, you know?
00:55:03.380
How could this guy be so welcoming to me, so kind, even after everything, he's had such
00:55:18.360
And, yeah, that's one of the most, yeah, touching moments, that whole walk, man.
00:55:23.100
Especially when you're having a day that's like, yeah, you're at the end of the day.
00:55:26.240
Sometimes you can't be, you know, your best self after, you know, it's hard.
00:55:29.600
You can't always be your best self and do the things you want to do, like you're saying,
00:55:33.600
like some of the guideposts that the chaplain had given you and things like that in conversation.
00:55:38.240
And, yeah, it happens a lot, and it's like you get into a moment, you're like, ah.
00:55:41.200
Ah, and then somebody does for you what you, you know, you want to be doing for them, or
00:55:46.380
what you, you know, it's like somebody brings your journey, what's your thing, they bring
00:55:52.840
Before I left, I brought these sort of like intentions for myself, and one of them was,
00:55:57.360
like I said, listen deeply, and another one was, leave each place I go better than it
00:56:05.040
And I, I read that now, and that's one of the things I want to punch old Mike in the
00:56:11.980
Like, you, you fucking cocky motherfucker, you think you're going to breeze in to the
00:56:22.340
You're going to walk there, and because of people's, not just there, but everywhere that
00:56:27.880
you walk, because of people's kindness and grace, they will leave you better.
00:56:32.520
You're not, you know what I mean, I read, I hear that now, so many people, I read it,
00:56:37.280
I'm like, dude, you're, you're so, so, it's cringeworthy, you were so cocky.
00:56:43.760
But it's an, it's a, it's an, for some weird reason, it's a normal train of thought, you
00:56:49.840
know, it's like, I used to think, like, especially with the, when our podcast really started out,
00:56:54.020
you know, a lot of young men would reach out with things that were struggling, and I was
00:56:57.500
thinking, like, oh, yeah, this is great, I have an opportunity to be able to help other
00:57:02.780
But then, over time, it's like, I've had so many struggles on my own, that these, it's
00:57:07.800
like, the people that support the Pai are always there for me, so it's like.
00:57:12.460
It's just interesting, man, it just shows how much that we need each other, you know, it
00:57:16.860
really, that's one thing that I'm constantly, you know, reminded of.
00:57:24.560
I know the story, or the, I think it's the night you got, or decided to get sober, Darryl
00:57:34.580
If anybody watching this hasn't seen that, they probably all have, but.
00:57:45.400
The next day, I flew back out here to Los Angeles, and I'd been partying before I even
00:57:53.100
I'd been doing some cocaine and doing that, and there was still some cocaine on my counter
00:58:05.760
Yeah, I had to, man, because I left it right there, you know?
00:58:10.300
And, yeah, so at that point, then the next day, I had some meetings and stuff.
00:58:16.140
I was supposed to do work stuff, and I had to cancel it.
00:58:19.180
And I went into an office of a manager that I had at the time.
00:58:23.720
And he asked, he was introducing me to his manager, boss.
00:58:27.280
So the management company was kind of trying to take him some notice of me, what was going
00:58:35.020
And I just told him, and Darryl Strawberry, I just told him what happened.
00:58:41.440
And I just said, you know, I'm not really doing that well.
00:58:44.400
You know, it was the first time I'd gone into a place, I guess, and I don't know if it was
00:58:50.260
But, yeah, I did not thinking about what did he, you know, what do I need to do to make
00:58:54.780
my work better or career better or what, try to position myself in here.
00:59:00.360
I said, I just been struggling, you know, I've been, you know, struggling with some cocaine
00:59:06.180
And he said, well, I go to these meetings if you want to go.
00:59:10.440
It was crazy because the guy who I was kind of scared to talk to, he said, well, why don't
00:59:18.880
And then the next day I went and then I continued to stay in there, you know, and start to figure
00:59:27.660
out some other stuff because my alcoholism isn't really, I don't know how much I have
00:59:32.340
a problem with drugs and alcohol, but I have a problem with the way that I think and feel
00:59:43.080
You know, it's like, it's one of those things that keeps coming back, you know, I mean,
00:59:57.240
And it trains and it meditates and it's ready, bro.
00:59:59.480
That shit comes, it'll fucking come off the, you know, I mean, you open a cereal cupboard
01:00:03.180
and that motherfucker will jump out with a fucking little dragon in his arm, you know,
01:00:07.840
So it's like, I have to, I got, you know, it's just, it's a never ending battle kind
01:00:26.460
You know, it had me thinking when you were walking everywhere I go, people say that their,
01:00:36.020
I never heard those words, but pretty much every place I went, I mean, yeah, it struck me.
01:00:42.080
Uh, whether it was the smallest town in Pennsylvania or Indianapolis or, you know, St. Louis, every
01:00:52.040
place I went, I never saw it aside from a lot of needles on the side of highway, especially
01:01:02.780
Uh, I don't say needles, like they were syringes.
01:01:07.540
I couldn't tell, but every place I went, I would meet somebody who say, we have a huge
01:01:20.900
That's one thing I noticed in these programs is that this shit doesn't discriminate.
01:01:23.740
You know, I know some of the most powerful people now in, in entertainment that are,
01:01:28.660
I mean, I know people that, uh, that have nothing, you know, that have, you know, haven't
01:01:33.960
achieved any of their goals really, you know, or struggling with them.
01:01:36.940
And, and it's amazing to see like the, that that shit doesn't, it'll get anybody.
01:01:43.600
Um, sorry to interrupt the episode here, but I got to let you know about something that's
01:01:52.280
You know, a lot of times you don't know what's going on with yourself and then sometimes it's
01:02:00.580
I think there's something all of us can agree on that nurses, doctors, dentists, and people
01:02:07.400
who work in medicine and healthcare are good people.
01:02:16.800
And all of us can think of a time when a medical professional helped us or helped a family
01:02:21.320
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01:02:29.540
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01:02:35.880
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01:02:41.160
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01:02:47.660
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01:03:14.220
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01:03:18.520
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01:03:28.520
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01:03:33.320
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01:04:02.860
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01:04:05.640
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01:06:08.140
We had some calls that came in and we had so many questions.
01:06:11.560
We want to get to a couple of video questions from some supporters.
01:06:34.540
I'm so happy for you for finishing that walk, doing what you said you were going to do.
01:06:41.600
I have a question for you about false finish lines.
01:06:44.240
So, I've seen you mention that false finish lines have been a big struggle on the walk.
01:06:48.400
You make it to the end of a state, then you just got to keep going.
01:06:51.980
So, my question to you is how do you deal with those false finish lines?
01:06:58.260
You want to be happy about what you've accomplished, but you just got to keep going.
01:07:02.600
So, I'm curious, like, how you mentally and physically deal with that.
01:07:18.460
But do you ever say gang twice and they say gang once?
01:07:51.340
How would you get to that finish line and you know there's so much more to go to reboot
01:07:55.580
And I got even this nomenclature, false finish line or fake.
01:08:03.960
Before, I was experiencing it, but I didn't know how to conceptualize it.
01:08:07.960
And so, just a little background, I was walking across Missouri.
01:08:13.640
And when I was walking across Missouri, it was like end of July.
01:08:20.560
You know, hot, like 95, you know, 90% humidity.
01:08:32.340
I didn't wear this one too much because it's blue.
01:08:35.060
And I ended up wearing the white ones because they're cooler.
01:08:40.760
But this is Coach Chad helped me out with this too.
01:09:15.300
And I don't want to blow it out of proportion because people lost their homes and everything.
01:09:24.300
But there are days that I'm walking the wrong way because I get to a road and it's just not there.
01:09:33.520
Or I get there and the water's coming to my knee and I'm walking more and it's coming to my hip.
01:09:38.040
I'm like, dude, I got to go a different way, dude.
01:09:42.680
Or I was on the Katy Trail and I'm walking through like nasty water.
01:09:51.880
That's how I feel like when I picture some parts of Louisiana.
01:10:00.060
Look, so, I remember coming out of this one water and my legs were just stinging.
01:10:06.360
I'm like, dang, I got to wash those off soon, man.
01:10:15.160
So, we call it the old Fulton Loop because I had to go up to this city called Fulton, Missouri.
01:10:21.760
And it was like, yeah, it was just the wrong way.
01:10:24.100
And it's demoralizing walking the wrong direction.
01:10:27.960
But I kept saying to myself, man, just get to Kansas, dude.
01:10:45.320
And I crossed that border and I fucking cried, bro.
01:10:51.440
Because nobody knew how hard it was but me, you know.
01:11:05.660
And it was the end of the day when I got out of that border.
01:11:23.320
And my mind, my body, my spirit, if you believe in that.
01:11:29.240
If you don't want to believe in spirit, you just call it morale.
01:11:32.380
They were all gone because they thought I was done.
01:11:37.280
Because I kept telling them, just get to Kansas.
01:11:46.360
So, this was actually the hardest day of the walk for me.
01:11:53.320
And in hindsight, I think I was pretty bad dehydrated as well.
01:12:03.640
And if my mind isn't actively thinking, walk, right, left, step, walk.
01:12:13.900
If my mind isn't thinking, if it drifts at all to any other topic anywhere, my body just stops.
01:12:20.280
And I finish my thought tangent, and I realize, I'm not even, I'm not moving.
01:12:37.380
And there's like, there's some trees, and they have shade.
01:12:40.380
And I would walk to like, a shade, and I would like, I would sit down.
01:12:46.880
And try to just like, cool off, get my shit together.
01:12:49.940
And I see like, another tree, another piece of shade.
01:13:07.520
And it's just, so this is why I learned this lesson, man.
01:13:11.660
You can't create a finish line that isn't your finish line.
01:13:19.320
You're not just going to be like, hey, man, I got 2,601 miles.
01:13:25.560
So, but you're just going to the next checkpoint.
01:13:38.820
And Julian here, he'll remember, you know, when we like crossed the Rocky Mountains.
01:13:44.880
Those were big deals because we had to plan for them differently, this kind of thing.
01:13:48.380
Whenever we'd finish something like that, we'd be excited.
01:13:53.780
But we would always say, this ain't a finish line.
01:14:01.080
We're just saying, finish line is a checkpoint, boy.
01:14:10.180
You know, that's how we would do it after that.
01:14:20.320
And so even when I finished the walk, it's one of the best days, you know, best moments
01:14:28.960
I got 30 people at the beach waiting for me, and I took a vow of silence that day.
01:14:35.360
I walked up to that beach, and I had a moment with each person.
01:14:39.520
You know, they're standing shoulder to shoulder looking at me.
01:14:45.900
And I'm going down the line, hugging each person, just having a moment, and I'm listening.
01:14:53.600
I said, I'm not saying anything until I get in that water.
01:14:59.860
Because, you know, that was the guy talking to me on the phone.
01:15:03.500
He talked to me on the phone almost every day, you know, before.
01:15:07.040
And he said in my ear, there was never a doubt.
01:15:15.900
And all the people, you know, guys I met at the Navajo Nation that drove there, you know,
01:15:21.800
barely any gas money because we connected when I walked there, wanted to be there when I finished.
01:15:27.760
And the last two guys were Julian and Colin, the other walk manager.
01:15:42.140
And he said, we finished our moment and I'm getting ready to go in the water.
01:15:48.200
And he looked at me, he said, this ain't a finish line.
01:16:03.520
Every time I would say goodbye to Julian the whole walk or Colin, I'm going to go walk another eight miles.
01:16:14.320
And he just reminded me, Noah, even though you're done with this journey, you're not done, motherfucker.
01:16:19.820
This is actually just the beginning, you know, because we talked about all this stuff.
01:16:31.140
I mean, the things that are on the buffet now is so much more than there was before I did the walk.
01:17:06.500
You know Buffet's gutter when they got that fucking sneeze guard on that bitch.
01:17:13.120
I never knew what that was until you just said that.
01:17:32.640
I wonder why they all, why don't they put them on a better, you know, mobile.
01:17:37.140
Because they always got these shady kind of piece of glass up at the top.
01:17:46.200
I'm just trying to get a couple of fucking potatoes, bro.
01:17:58.400
I ran into the water, but I wanted, I wanted to not make that mistake again.
01:18:05.200
So my body's pretty jacked, you know, it's not injured, but it's pretty jacked up.
01:18:10.440
You know, my feet are hurting and all that stuff.
01:18:13.540
But I know the next day after the walk is the most important day of the walk, you know.
01:18:20.780
You go, we learned a bunch of stuff, tapped into the part of yourself, and you go the next
01:18:33.820
Well, this is, this is how I've been, this is the end of 10 days ago.
01:18:42.520
And I knew, I knew I needed rest, you know, for my body.
01:18:48.140
But in order to not fuck this mistake up, I knew I had to be up at 4 a.m. again the next
01:18:53.660
And I knew I had to, I knew I had to get after it.
01:19:07.680
I said, hey man, can you meet me at 5.30 Saturday?
01:19:11.080
And I'm doing this, you know, like a week before I finish the walk.
01:19:24.640
I'm leaving my phone off for two days after that.
01:19:49.740
But, hey, I also need my body, my mind, my spirit to know I'm not done.
01:20:01.120
And I did some yoga after that, some physical therapy.
01:20:03.620
And I just kept my phone off for two days because I knew I needed to feel how I felt
01:20:09.280
without having to explain to other people how I felt.
01:20:16.400
Like, I gave myself this week, I let myself sleep a little bit, which I needed, you know.
01:20:30.020
And I thought I was going to get depressed, you know, you finish this big thing.
01:20:34.620
And that's because even though I'm not on the walk, I'm working on other things.
01:20:39.620
Whether it's writing, I'm doing some writing, a pro style, which is exciting to me and difficult.
01:20:48.420
Do you find yourself kind of, like, the steps kind of keep going inside of yourself sometimes?
01:20:54.180
Can you still feel them in your being, kind of?
01:20:57.000
I don't know if I would put it quite like that.
01:20:59.600
But, yeah, I definitely feel like I left the walk, but the walk never leaves you.
01:21:08.100
Do your legs sometimes be like, dude, take me for a walk?
01:21:11.280
Like, your legs, I feel like it would be like having a couple of dang Dobermans on you.
01:21:14.180
Yeah, dude, you know, they've been pretty tired, dude.
01:21:16.760
But me and Coach Chad just started hitting some hikes.
01:21:19.240
Because the next thing, one of the things I want to get into is mountaineering.
01:21:22.940
So, instead of walking on flat, just going that way.
01:21:34.420
I don't know, I would not let that man at an altitude.
01:21:37.080
So, I don't know what you guys are doing up there with him.
01:21:46.560
You don't want to see this guy on a Saturday, bro.
01:21:55.080
Cameron Haynes and some of those guys, they get real dangerous on the weekend.
01:22:10.740
We got this question that came in right here from me when I was younger.
01:22:42.360
So what I want to ask Mike is that you told me...
01:22:57.800
In Indiana that you developed a love for Ford F-150s.
01:23:02.660
First of all, is there any plans to buy an F-Ford F-150 for your own?
01:23:08.100
And then also, is there anything on the walk later on that after we've stopped walking with
01:23:14.620
you that you came to love or came to appreciate that you didn't think you would or that you
01:23:29.860
And I remember he got a hat that looked like mine, kind of.
01:23:47.500
And sometimes they call the cops on him because he looks scary, bro.
01:23:51.180
Yeah, he's got these long lenses because he's trying to get this shot of this bird, you
01:23:55.140
And he'll be just camped down in the grass waiting for the shot.
01:24:06.460
Yeah, I realized, like, man, everyone has an F-150.
01:24:31.420
Dude, and then my new favorite car, after he met me, became the F-750.
01:24:53.300
Maybe that was me back there at that fucking Walmart, bro.
01:25:01.980
But normally, they don't have, like, see, that looks weird because it has the regular
01:25:07.540
Usually, they have, like, a dump truck or something on the back like that.
01:25:13.900
But I always see these, and I see them come up.
01:25:18.540
And then either, if it's big like that, either it's a 650 or 750, it comes by, and it
01:25:37.920
I might even run a little bit after I see that boy.
01:25:43.480
It's the little things that get you going, huh?
01:25:46.400
I think, like, another, I don't know, just the second part of this question, any other
01:25:52.640
Like, a thing that popped in my head was hunters, man.
01:25:57.860
I always thought hunters didn't give a fuck about animals.
01:26:03.020
I always thought they were like the people that hated it.
01:26:10.400
So, it turns out, at least all the hunters I met, they actually care about animals more
01:26:16.820
And what I learned was, you know, you could live in L.A. and West Hollywood and you buy
01:26:23.460
a fucking burger and what you're basically doing is paying somebody else to, you know,
01:26:29.580
factory farm these poor cows and fucking kill them in a terrible way and, you know, you're
01:26:40.500
But you're a hunter, like some of the guys I met, and you find out, one, it's just very
01:26:46.600
regularly, you know, it's a certain time, you get the tags.
01:26:51.120
Yeah, and you got, they're only giving out the tags so you don't decimate the population,
01:27:00.080
And then, what they taught me, I was asking a hunter, I was like, man, so, if you see a
01:27:08.740
And you're like, no, you don't want to shoot a deer in the head.
01:27:20.900
I thought, I thought you just, I thought you just, you see the animal, you shoot the,
01:27:29.440
But I found out, they wait till they can kill it in a way where it won't suffer, where
01:27:36.360
So, even if they can see the animal, the animal's in the scope, if it doesn't turn in the right
01:27:41.540
way and they don't get a clean shot, they don't kill it.
01:27:45.480
And they, that, I learned, that changed my whole perspective of what I thought hunting
01:27:50.600
And these people doing this, you're like, basically, you know, you're in the food chain then,
01:27:58.440
As ethical as killing could be, you know, that would be it.
01:28:01.620
But it's more ethical to me than buying a burger at the store or whatever.
01:28:05.860
Right, and they use it, especially locally, you know?
01:28:07.760
I'll get calls when I'm back in Louisiana, hey, you know, we have some venison, and we
01:28:13.260
Or we got a fucking fresh load of fucking ham meat, you know?
01:28:15.840
What about those dudes, they come, this is a real thing, they, because I've seen a lot
01:28:21.340
What about those dudes, they pick up the roadkill, eat it?
01:28:25.280
I think as long as they cook it and eat it, that's fine, dude.
01:28:29.020
If they do that fucking highway sashimi, bro, I'm out, dude.
01:28:37.040
I've had a lot of exotic meat that was probably killed, I wouldn't know if it was killed by
01:28:40.380
an auto, but I bet it was killed by something, you know, fast and unnecessary.
01:28:46.260
Owl, people know, I've had owl meat, I've had, what else, I wouldn't say I've had
01:28:52.800
gerbil, but I've had something just a touch bigger than that.
01:29:02.120
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else you could be thinking.
01:29:09.980
Yeah, man, we came up with an area that had a lot of exotic meats.
01:29:13.100
You know, I've had guinea pig, large ones, nothing small.
01:29:20.660
A couple of brothers near me used to always be grilling up doves and I'd go get over there
01:29:24.260
Why is it doves flying around and they'd shoot them?
01:29:31.840
That's the fucking Bible trying to reach out to you on wings, dude.
01:29:42.240
We had one or two more video questions that came in, man.
01:29:47.060
I mean, there's just so much to encapsulate that you started a feed and that you took it
01:29:58.340
Is it hard to corral all of the levels of it, the physical, the emotional, the...
01:30:06.020
Yeah, but that's one of the reasons I told you I'm doing that writing now because then
01:30:12.240
A lot of stuff I'm saying today, I'll be able to...
01:30:16.140
I was able to kind of think out because I'm writing it to myself.
01:30:18.660
Yeah, do you think there'll be a book or something where people can get a hold of it?
01:30:30.240
You know, if I'm going to do a book, I'm a writer.
01:30:35.200
So I couldn't use like a ghostwriter or anything like that.
01:30:39.000
And you know, you do that book, it's going to be hard.
01:30:48.140
If you do it right, you know, it's going to take three, four, five, six, seven years.
01:31:21.260
And I have reoccurring dreams with him in the dream.
01:31:25.840
And I was wondering if you think that it's a mechanism to help your brain cope with the trauma or if there's more to it.
01:31:47.440
But, dude, my dad came and visited me in a dream recently in Hawaii.
01:31:52.160
I hadn't seen my dad in 20 years, and he showed up in a dream.
01:32:05.060
And I was trying to get everybody to communicate, but De Niro didn't want to talk to my dad.
01:32:10.600
McConaughey was a little bit indifferent, but it ended up, they chatted for a minute.
01:32:14.040
And I don't know what it was all about, but that was just the dream.
01:32:23.900
And it was just, I mean, I'd never had no dream.
01:32:30.080
No, he died about, I think maybe, yeah, he died about 20 or 22 years ago.
01:32:34.280
But it was just to see him, just to have like a moment where I thought I was really there
01:32:41.980
Do you feel like there was, was there moments where he was with you?
01:32:50.740
This is actually a crazy question because it happened all the time when I started this walk.
01:33:01.020
I mean, I was telling my friends, I was like, dude, I see my dad, or my, I had dreams about
01:33:06.400
I don't really feel like some people believe different things.
01:33:10.520
I don't really feel like that's him visiting me.
01:33:13.600
But I, so I would say I'm having dreams about my dad.
01:33:23.120
And I wake up, and I remember just feeling like, similar to you, mostly in the dreams,
01:33:33.420
And the last like year, 10 months, he was really like dying.
01:33:37.840
He was in the hospital bed, that kind of thing.
01:33:43.020
It's always more like a few years before it has to state his bodies, and he's in.
01:33:48.520
And I remember the feeling like when I'd either wait, after I'd wake up, or the feeling was
01:33:55.340
was always like, almost shock, like, he's really dead.
01:34:05.260
And I remember feeling like, how sad it was, how sad it really was.
01:34:12.580
And how, how like, how real, like, then I remembered the, the whole like, the whole deal
01:34:26.260
But it even, it feels more like, it felt, it felt, felt more heavy than it did when
01:34:32.080
Like, help it take care of more, because I was just doing it then, and I had to make
01:34:37.900
And I look back, and I just remember the feeling, I was like, fuck, man, that shit really happened.
01:34:47.420
You know, I didn't really know what to, what to do with that, you know.
01:34:50.700
I would wake up, and I would take care of what I said I was going to take care of.
01:34:54.800
But if I had to theorize to Silver Fox, I would think it's probably, again, I'm no fucking
01:35:05.460
psychologist, but I would just, I would guess like, it's my, it's me feeling what I need
01:35:14.880
And maybe I'm, maybe I'm cruising so hard, and I'm doing all the stuff, and I'm busy,
01:35:21.920
But maybe I didn't feel all the, all the pain, all the grief I needed to, so it's coming,
01:35:28.080
That's, that's, that's what I would guess, dude.
01:35:30.940
Did your thought, was it easier to go to sleep at night, or was it harder to go to sleep
01:35:36.480
I would feel, it would seem like you'd be so exhausted, but that's just what I would
01:35:40.900
It would be little, like, waves you gotta catch, you know, like, I was trying to get
01:35:44.800
to bed at 7.30, because I knew, I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, right, so, but I was
01:35:49.720
trying, when I was trying to be, like, in the bed, you know, starting the process.
01:35:52.980
And you in a camp, or you in a Winnebago when you sleep?
01:35:56.560
Mostly, every once in a while, but mostly, yeah, we had an RV, that was our support vehicle,
01:36:01.980
but then when we would do the actual, like, parts that were, like, the Rocky Mountains,
01:36:06.780
or certain parts of the desert in Arizona, like the, or the Mojave Desert in California,
01:36:12.520
the RV couldn't drive on those parts, so then I'd be sleeping in a tent.
01:36:16.700
But that was the best part, to be sleeping in a tent.
01:36:19.300
And every time we'd finish those, we'd come back, our RV, we'd call Larry.
01:36:23.060
We'd come back, Julie, we'd be like, man, I love Larry, but kind of, like, fuck Larry, bro.
01:36:31.600
So, yeah, man, it would be hard, especially in the summer when it was hot.
01:36:49.880
And I didn't have any air conditioning in the hotel room, and it was so hard to sleep at night.
01:36:56.760
What fucking promoter booked you out there, dude?
01:37:09.720
Bro, I would put a couple of ices on my back, and I would lay down and put some ices on my back.
01:37:15.320
Let's get one more question, man, and then we'll quit taking up all of Mike's day.
01:37:31.160
It's something about the way his eyes got caught in that frame.
01:38:21.360
The discussion topic that I want to talk about is regarding Mike's philosophy on life, which
01:38:29.940
I have been trying to adopt, loving people, forgiving, understanding.
01:38:34.320
I just wonder where do you draw the line when you recognize actually malevolent and pathological
01:38:43.240
Do you still think you can exterminate stuff like that with love and understanding?
01:38:49.760
Or do you think that you sometimes have to draw the line?
01:39:07.260
You know, first time I did, I was trying to sound cool.
01:39:32.820
You know, I think that not, like, I think almost everybody, almost everybody you can find a way to relate to.
01:39:46.260
And for me, my instincts will usually kind of let me know.
01:39:48.960
Like, this is something, this is someone you can work with and learn from.
01:39:54.780
Or you guys can, you know, you guys can be a part of each other's lives or help each other in some way.
01:40:00.880
And this is something that's out of your capable jurisdiction.
01:40:06.460
There's nothing, if you continue to engage here, that you're going to be able to get, to help each other.
01:40:18.660
And so, you know, that's where I kind of, I think, I'll just trust my instincts sometime and try to, and that's where I'll draw the line.
01:40:25.280
And if I, it's not that something's pure evil, but it's just something that I can't really help.
01:40:31.400
I can't help or it can't help me, even in a positive way, like, just in any type of emotional way or anything, you know.
01:40:42.520
I'm not, you know, I'm just a layman of the higher powers.
01:40:46.400
So it's like, you know, a lot of times I need more help than I, there's a lot.
01:40:54.940
Sometimes you do run across some people where it's just, they need to send this person back into the drawing board, back into the ether and let them get them remodeled, you know.
01:41:08.560
I mean, I ain't killing them, bro, but I'll come to the funeral, you know.
01:41:19.940
I think, man, I think there's a difference between forgiveness and who you choose to spend your time with or spend your life with, really.
01:41:32.100
Forgiveness is for yourself, you know, really, I think.
01:41:35.600
I'm looking at you like you asked me the question.
01:41:55.900
And so I think the forgiveness is for yourself.
01:41:59.480
But then at the same time, like, I think this is where I'm at right now in my life.
01:42:05.540
If you asked me a year ago, I think I'd say something very different.
01:42:15.480
Part of my job is to be respectful, but also not be disrespected.
01:42:26.680
So if somebody's going to disrespect me, or even, like, if I first meet someone and it just feels off, that's cool.
01:42:35.180
I'm just going to be nice to you, but we're not going to be friends.
01:42:38.740
I'm not going to go be friends with you just to be nice because you asked to have dinner with me or whatever.
01:42:49.560
Sometimes someone you love might do some shit that you think is disrespectful.
01:42:55.720
And one of the big things for me is I was always in the past just because I was so scared of conflict,
01:43:03.020
like, I just withdraw, and maybe I just, like, avoid them, or maybe I don't avoid them,
01:43:11.860
but I got this little thing in the back of my head going, remember that one fucking time he did this?
01:43:21.180
And now I think part of my job, you know, to myself is to not allow myself to be disrespected.
01:43:28.960
Or if I disrespect my boy, just call him out on it, hey, motherfucker, I don't like the way he said that to me, dude.
01:43:38.820
And it can be a moment for them where they go, oh, man, you're right.
01:43:43.600
And they can learn, and it actually can help them not do that in another part of their lives.
01:43:48.060
Or sometimes you saw it, you read it fucking wrong, and, you know, and you get to get to the bottom of it.
01:43:54.980
But I had a friend of mine, one of my best friends, dude, he was there on the beach.
01:43:59.340
He's an interventionist, so he travels 250 days a year.
01:44:08.720
Would he ever be willing to come on here and talk about that?
01:44:17.240
But at the very least, man, let's sometime, like, the three of us eat, or even if I'm not there, you should meet him sometime.
01:44:25.840
That's one of the things I love with him, love about him, man, because he just.
01:44:29.720
The first time I met him, I thought, like, this guy, his eyes were kind of glowing, like, this dude's an angel, bro.
01:44:36.080
You know, and you meet someone with his bad vibes, kind of, it's like the opposite.
01:44:40.980
But he's, you know, he's in recovery, 33 years.
01:44:45.600
Imagine him being on the front lines of seeing somebody have a moment that starts to change their life.
01:44:59.480
We're talking about just like how sometimes, you know, you can, I don't know.
01:45:07.200
He said to me the dopest shit about resentment.
01:45:09.260
Because one time when I first met him, he had texted me a few times and I missed it.
01:45:28.620
He said, hey, you know, you made it pretty clear to me that you didn't want to continue our relationship.
01:45:41.760
Everybody understands I'm doing important shit, which I'm not really.
01:45:46.340
It's not any more important than anybody else's.
01:45:49.060
But in my head, that's really what I fucking thought.
01:45:51.180
And he said, look, man, you made it pretty clear you didn't want to continue the relationship.
01:46:06.220
And I'm going to send it anyway so you can see where I'm at.
01:46:11.540
And because resentment has an appetite I could never satisfy.
01:46:23.300
Even if your problem is not just, you got to say it, you know.
01:46:34.340
It's nice when something can come through and touch you, especially like in Hollywood, you know.
01:46:39.240
Its ego is so dangerous and it's easy and it happens to us without us even knowing it.
01:46:53.940
It's like a snake that bites you real slow over 10 years.
01:47:02.480
You're going to the hospital, motherfucker, you know.
01:47:05.360
Did you feel when that snake got you like it was something?
01:47:23.420
If a snake came all the way up to the interstate, snake don't go by the interstate, bro.
01:47:27.080
What do you think it would have been like if I walked across Louisiana?
01:47:35.880
Outside of that, yeah, I think it would have been pretty cool.
01:47:40.000
Oh, dude, your crotch would have definitely, your nuts would have turned into a real hornet's nest, I bet, bro.
01:47:46.760
Because, yeah, animals could live inside of your body down there.
01:47:52.920
Well, they died first, then the animal went in.
01:47:55.240
Or the animal went in and killed them from the inside.
01:48:01.080
You're talking about some of those gerbils you ate, dude.
01:48:04.620
If something stops by at night and you've been putting on weight, you won't even fucking notice, man.
01:48:18.440
Mike walked across America and it's almost like you went all that way to meet yourself in some ways, man.
01:48:32.240
Were you amazed by how many people were inspired by, like, who got on board and started to really feel inspiration from you?
01:48:41.280
Because, you know, you're doing the thing for yourself.
01:48:44.380
And then, like I said, there's this shitty part of me that's doing it for attention, you know.
01:48:49.160
But you're able to recognize that and say those two things.
01:48:55.040
But mainly, you know, and as I went along, they got smaller and I really, like, after I got by snake, I shut down.
01:49:05.140
Everybody walked with me because I didn't want anybody else to get hurt.
01:49:07.420
And it really became more of, like, my journey, you know.
01:49:12.380
And this is how I know because when I started to walk, I thought when I finish, I'm going to go.
01:49:20.760
But when I get to L.A., I'm going to post on Instagram and I'm going to walk across L.A.
01:49:28.680
I'm going to have, like, a thousand people behind me.
01:49:37.660
And then as I got closer, I go, dude, you don't even fucking want that.
01:49:43.200
All you want to do is be there with the people you love the most.
01:49:49.620
Be there with the people you want to see in that moment.
01:50:00.880
I'm like, hey, man, as you guys know, I'm getting close.
01:50:04.540
And some people have been writing in, like, can we walk with you?
01:50:31.580
And they said, you know, they said, Mike, you know, we're not trying to slow you down.
01:50:43.520
But what I wanted, what I'm saying is it changed.
01:50:46.880
The guy who started a while had this goofy vision and get this validation from a lot of people being there.
01:50:54.380
He wasn't, that's not really the guy that made it to the other side.
01:50:59.260
So it's interesting, like, because I think part of that attention wanting part of myself had to be there for me to start.
01:51:08.800
But then when I did the thing, man, that thing kind of died a little bit along the way.
01:51:14.400
You know, he didn't make it across, dude, really.
01:51:23.340
Man, thank you so much, Mike, for coming and talking, man.
01:51:28.620
I know you're wrapping it up, but I didn't say this on the record, but I told you before, that's how this whole thing started.
01:51:34.420
It was, you know, in between my segments, I would break up my day 8-8, usually 8, or 8-8-4-4, make 24, and it got a little longer towards the end.
01:51:48.700
But in between all my rips, that's what I called them, all my 8-mile rips, a lot of times we would put your shit on, dude, just fuck.
01:51:59.660
So me and Julian would be on there, and we'd just put your shit on.
01:52:02.480
And we'd be like, dude, this guy, man, we'd be laughing so hard.
01:52:09.300
But when you lose service, one Dio Von joke, that lasts you like a month.
01:52:14.880
That nocturnal bus, dude, we'd just, like, I'd leave.
01:52:21.020
You know, it takes me two, two and a half, two hours, 45, whatever.
01:52:25.380
And I'd be like, dude, I'm chasing that bus, dude, that dream bus, dude.
01:52:29.860
You know, we just repeat that shit for, like, a month.
01:52:45.380
Because that shit gets few and far between, bro.
01:52:55.260
God, man, there's nothing better than just blowing up in your sleep, bro.
01:53:23.600
Bro, no, I'm having sex in the dream, but it's with a person I don't like.
01:53:28.820
And in the, I think it only happened one time, if I'm being honest.
01:53:33.600
But I'm having sex with somebody I don't like, and I have no condom, and I come in the.
01:53:42.980
And then I wake up, and then I came in real life in a dream bus, and I'm like, fuck, man.
01:53:55.780
That's how half of America fucking got here, too.
01:53:58.800
Half of the people in existence became people, just how you said.
01:54:06.860
Somebody didn't really, really, really like them at their core, probably.
01:54:10.000
Dude, people have ejaculated into a lot of people they didn't really enjoy, I bet.
01:54:29.860
You have a new album that's out, too, if people want to hear songs from across your journey.
01:54:38.040
I made an album basically for myself to listen to when it got hard.
01:54:43.660
And so I made these songs, and I got little messages from people I respect, like Steven
01:54:59.220
And there's little messages from them basically saying what they wanted me to remember when
01:55:05.560
And I made this little project for myself, remind myself who I am.
01:55:11.760
And then, you know, after I walked with it a little while, I started to put songs out,
01:55:25.860
All the happiness you felt in the world, happiness you gave me, dude.
01:55:33.560
We're listening to you in the car on the way over just laughing.
01:55:35.340
I'm glad to be reminded that that's what I'm doing, because sometimes, yeah, you get
01:55:38.960
a little bit confused, you know, as to what's going on.
01:55:42.060
It's not making music or I'm walking across America, right?
01:55:45.400
It's supposed to, you know, nourish me, make me a better person at the same time, hopefully
01:55:51.600
help others along the way, make their journey a little easier.
01:55:57.280
I think a lot of it, yeah, no, a lot of our listeners, I think, are, you know, are, I
01:56:00.740
mean, it's what else, it's outside of the walk, you know?
01:56:04.540
It's the walk that's going on inside of all of us, you know?
01:56:07.340
I think a lot of young men and women and even strong lesbians are feeling that shit right
01:56:19.140
Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:56:31.100
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
01:56:36.460
I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time
01:56:45.640
For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind
01:56:52.300
Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories
01:57:22.080
On a runaway train with a heavy load of my hand
01:57:25.960
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club
01:57:32.360
A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:57:44.820
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:58:12.000
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken
01:58:27.880
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