This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Mother's Day ｜ This Past Weekend #198

00:00:00.620 Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, all the mothers and sod mothers and 0.99

00:00:08.840 you know, women even that wanted to be mothers or even men sometime, you get a little itching

00:00:16.060 down inside of your body.

00:00:17.980 Maybe you've had a strong casserole or something and you feel it quake a little and you're 0.98

00:00:23.900 like, damn, is it twins?

00:00:26.380 And then maybe it's just as chili powders, you know, strong chili powders that was in 0.99

00:00:31.240 that recipe.

00:00:33.380 But Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful women and that humans climb out of to come 0.99

00:00:45.320 out into the world.

00:00:56.380 This is Evan Bartels.

00:01:08.500 Oh, Mother, may I open my eyes?

00:01:34.980 Cause there's a great big world waiting right outside.

00:01:41.840 Mother, may I raise my voice?

00:01:48.840 We the people have that choice.

00:01:56.840 Mother, may I raise my head?

00:02:03.840 Though I did not try my best.

00:02:09.840 Mother, may I sip the wine?

00:02:15.840 Mother, may I sip the wine?

00:02:22.840 Though I did not tend the vine?

00:02:30.840 Oh, dear, you can come for me.

00:02:38.840 Oh, dear, you can come for me.

00:02:49.840 Oh, dear, you can come for me.

00:02:55.840 That hitter, man, and you can hear the rest of that song,

00:03:02.860 and it picks up, and it's a beautiful piece

00:03:05.880 by Evan Bartels, The Devil, God, and Me.

00:03:11.320 And, man, yeah, I talk about that line in there every time.

00:03:15.760 Mother, may I rest my head, though I did not try my best.

00:03:22.680 And, man, that line gets me right in the dam.

00:03:26.700 Them clavicles, boy, that hits me right in those high ribs, baby,

00:03:30.880 them clavicles, you know?

00:03:34.120 Just to think that, Mother, may I rest my head,

00:03:38.120 though I did not try my best.

00:03:41.780 And that, for me, man, when I hear that,

00:03:43.740 that exemplifies really what a mother is to me, I feel like.

00:03:48.900 You know, it's someone that, no matter what,

00:03:53.420 even if you didn't do your best, you're not doing well,

00:03:56.100 you're not where you want to be.

00:04:03.180 You know, Mother, can I still come in for a hug?

00:04:05.700 You know, can I still, am I still okay with you?

00:04:12.000 And a mother is the woman that always says yes, you know,

00:04:14.880 that you are welcome here.

00:04:16.020 You know, right here in my arms and right here in my heart,

00:04:20.140 no matter what.

00:04:24.720 Happy Mother's Day.

00:04:26.980 Happy Mother's Day to everybody, man.

00:04:28.940 Look, this is a, I didn't mean to start off kind of somber like that,

00:04:32.220 but life is like that, you know? 0.99

00:04:34.840 Life is like a damn. 0.98

00:04:36.900 What is life? 0.99

00:04:38.900 What is it? 1.00

00:04:41.000 People out here, you know, waving at each other, stealing shit. 0.99

00:04:46.500 You know, somebody maybe helping somebody, you know, 0.99

00:04:49.300 walk across the street, help an old lady across the street, 1.00

00:04:52.380 and then they steal a little chocolate from her.

00:04:55.240 Maybe she have two little chocolate rabbits or something. 1.00

00:04:57.580 She was going to visit a gravesite of a diabetic,

00:05:00.500 and they cop up, you know,

00:05:02.400 they cop one of them hoppers, bro,

00:05:04.040 one of them little rabbits,

00:05:05.140 and they tuck it in their jaw, you know,

00:05:07.460 and they get that sugar for themselves.

00:05:10.560 That's what life is, that turnstile, man. 0.61

00:05:12.900 It's that lazy Susan. 0.82

00:05:16.080 But it's nice to know that wherever it spins or stops

00:05:19.740 or speeds up or whatever,

00:05:22.080 it's nice to know that there's a woman there for you, you know?

00:05:28.540 And so happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.

00:05:31.200 And all the women, you know, 0.99

00:05:33.280 and all the sons, too, man.

00:05:35.800 It's a hard job, dude, out here being a son. 0.99

00:05:39.280 Because a son, man, we will fuck up. 0.99

00:05:43.620 Dude, I remember when I was young, man, 1.00

00:05:45.520 being young, boy.

00:05:48.100 Mom's coming home.

00:05:50.040 You would hear that.

00:05:51.660 Dude, you would be,

00:05:53.560 I'd be knee deep.

00:05:54.980 We would be making mud in the tub.

00:05:57.840 We used to bring soil in from outside,

00:06:00.020 rare soil or just even regular soil.

00:06:02.780 And we would bring it in from outside

00:06:04.480 and get it in, get it in.

00:06:06.080 Two hours worth of soil.

00:06:08.500 You know, and we soiled up.

00:06:10.920 You know what I'm saying?

00:06:11.700 We ready. 1.00

00:06:12.340 We got the damn, a damn, you know, 1.00

00:06:15.120 we got two foot by four foot of the damn Mississippi Delta 1.00

00:06:18.260 sitting right there in the bathtub. 0.99

00:06:19.860 And we cut that water on, bro,

00:06:21.440 and make our own just mud.

00:06:23.080 Mud.

00:06:24.400 And we'd be just making mud cakes, mud pies.

00:06:28.280 And my sister, she made like a dang, 1.00

00:06:30.760 you know, a couple layer mud cake

00:06:32.840 with the fondant,

00:06:35.440 with that fondant icing. 1.00

00:06:37.300 I'm like, damn, bitch, what are you doing? 1.00

00:06:39.220 This is just mud. 1.00

00:06:41.760 We can't eat this.

00:06:44.420 And she would write happy anniversary Henry in it. 0.99

00:06:47.840 And I'm like, who the fuck is Henry? 0.99

00:06:50.040 You're four years old. 1.00

00:06:51.320 What are you doing around this neighborhood?

00:06:54.200 But we had some times, man.

00:06:56.400 But then once you heard one kid somehow would find out,

00:06:59.460 they would get a thing in their head.

00:07:01.100 They would see the clock or whatever. 1.00

00:07:02.800 Oh, shit, it's almost 5 p.m. 1.00

00:07:05.500 That's when mom gets off work. 1.00

00:07:08.380 And that means it takes mom nine minutes

00:07:11.740 unless she stopped to have a little cigarette.

00:07:14.540 Then it'd take her 13 minutes to get home.

00:07:17.460 Because sometimes mom pull over behind a bank 1.00

00:07:20.780 and hit that frickin', you know, 0.83

00:07:23.540 get that little Winston in her. 1.00

00:07:25.660 Get that chirp chirp.

00:07:27.600 Get that upper, you know,

00:07:28.700 that light upper that's going to help her, 0.87

00:07:30.800 you know, come home and not, you know, 1.00

00:07:33.420 whip the kid's ass immediately. 1.00

00:07:35.640 She will hear the children first. 1.00

00:07:37.280 And, man, mom would come home 1.00

00:07:43.360 and we'd be like, fuck, man. 1.00

00:07:45.660 We got to get rid of this mud. 1.00

00:07:48.520 Because now you got, before it was soil,

00:07:51.000 but now you added that water.

00:07:52.240 Now it's heavy mud. 0.99

00:07:53.440 This shit is alluvial. 1.00

00:07:54.980 You got a damn, 1.00

00:07:56.360 you got a baby palm popping up over here. 1.00

00:07:59.680 You got an arborist beating on the door,

00:08:02.120 you know, trying to get a deal.

00:08:05.140 And so now we got to throw all of this mud out the window.

00:08:08.500 What we didn't realize was mom,

00:08:10.520 she parks right out by the window, right?

00:08:12.380 We weren't thinking, you know,

00:08:14.540 logistically we weren't really there

00:08:16.460 because we were just children.

00:08:18.360 So we're just sitting there

00:08:19.660 just throwing mud out the window, bruh.

00:08:22.020 Sand, mud.

00:08:23.380 It had all kind of just toys in it.

00:08:25.540 It had a bottle of that suave hair conditioner. 0.99

00:08:29.700 Remember that shit with the pineapple on it? 1.00

00:08:32.820 Dude, I'd leave the house smelling fucking Polynesian. 1.00

00:08:36.480 I'd have bees coming over, 1.00

00:08:38.400 a couple of urban chicks showing up. 1.00

00:08:40.400 Ooh, what are you doing?

00:08:41.780 You know?

00:08:42.700 When you had that suave conditioner,

00:08:45.100 that pineapple fresh, 1.00

00:08:47.800 and that shit would leave you scented up. 0.99

00:08:49.440 But now the mud has everything. 1.00

00:08:50.840 She's throwing all kind of shit out. 0.99

00:08:53.040 You know? 1.00

00:08:53.620 Daniel snuck over there.

00:08:54.900 He's been over there doing something.

00:08:57.040 You know, writing dirty words in the mud,

00:08:58.940 and he got stuck in it, 0.99

00:09:00.000 and he fucking went out the window. 0.98

00:09:01.920 He's airborne. 0.99

00:09:02.920 You know Daniel, bruh.

00:09:05.120 You know, he makes his own choices,

00:09:06.760 but they're not good.

00:09:09.260 And so, man, I remember then mom would come inside 1.00

00:09:12.000 and be our ass, bruh. 1.00

00:09:17.560 And I don't blame her. 1.00

00:09:20.040 I don't blame her.

00:09:21.820 You have, you paying $170 a month for rent

00:09:27.540 in a three-bedroom, 1.00

00:09:30.680 and these kids fucking brought 1.00

00:09:32.560 about 50 pounds of fucking mud up into the tub. 1.00

00:09:38.320 Dude. 0.99

00:09:39.520 Because then what happened after that?

00:09:40.900 It went into the pipes,

00:09:41.840 then we couldn't use the toilet upstairs.

00:09:43.720 Then everybody had to use the toilet downstairs.

00:09:45.920 And the toilet downstairs right by the dinner table.

00:09:50.040 So you'd have, you know,

00:09:51.880 some fancy Fauntleroy wants to slip off from dinner.

00:09:55.820 You know, mom's grilling up a couple hotcakes or whatever. 0.99

00:09:59.340 You know, maybe a couple slices of bacon.

00:10:01.480 You know, a couple lean pieces.

00:10:02.680 And then some fancy fuckaroni gets a little feel,

00:10:06.260 a little quake in his gurney, 0.93

00:10:08.640 in his girder, in his belly. 0.75

00:10:11.040 And he wants to slide off to the side

00:10:13.580 and use the toilet. 0.83

00:10:16.260 And dude, it was just, 0.99

00:10:18.640 we fucking ruined mom's life. 0.99

00:10:21.100 But dang. 1.00

00:10:23.220 She kept on with us.

00:10:25.380 She kept on with us, man.

00:10:27.220 You know,

00:10:30.320 Mother, may I rest my head,

00:10:31.900 though I did not try my best.

00:10:34.180 Man, that thing hits me.

00:10:36.980 You know, music's pretty wild.

00:10:38.500 Isn't it?

00:10:38.900 Lyrics and music and things we say, like,

00:10:42.420 because I know this guy, Evan Bartels,

00:10:44.440 you know, he's a man, right?

00:10:45.420 He's a human man. 0.98

00:10:46.740 If you hit him with an ax, 0.99

00:10:48.060 blood gonna come out 0.90

00:10:48.900 and maybe, you know, some tendon, right?

00:10:50.960 He's a regular man.

00:10:55.340 But,

00:10:55.700 the recipe inside him

00:10:59.240 puts these words together

00:11:00.440 and he learns a way to present it.

00:11:02.820 And it just,

00:11:03.860 and that song's pretty beautiful to me.

00:11:05.260 And that's Evan Bartels,

00:11:06.660 The Devil, God, and Me.

00:11:08.700 And I had an opportunity to meet him.

00:11:10.560 We almost,

00:11:11.260 over in Kansas City,

00:11:12.740 or Omaha, I think.

00:11:15.580 And we almost

00:11:16.500 had him play after a show one time,

00:11:19.160 but we couldn't,

00:11:20.060 we couldn't find a venue.

00:11:21.500 But next time,

00:11:22.940 we'll do it right.

00:11:23.720 Thank you guys for being here with us

00:11:26.660 this week,

00:11:28.460 this past weekend.

00:11:31.900 I'm kind of,

00:11:32.500 this is a little bit of a sad day for me.

00:11:34.680 I'm a,

00:11:35.060 this is our last time in this studio.

00:11:38.080 We decided to get a different studio

00:11:40.560 that has a little bit more room.

00:11:42.720 And,

00:11:44.060 and man,

00:11:47.980 it's happened so fast,

00:11:49.100 it's almost like I haven't really had a chance

00:11:50.580 to really just be with it.

00:11:53.100 You know,

00:11:53.600 just to sit in here and,

00:11:54.800 and just kind of feel the vibe.

00:11:56.920 Man,

00:11:57.080 a lot is happening here.

00:11:58.100 I remember coming out of the kitchen

00:11:59.420 and thinking,

00:12:00.160 man,

00:12:00.440 what am I doing?

00:12:02.380 Moving into a studio?

00:12:04.740 What am I doing?

00:12:06.640 I don't even know what I'm talking about.

00:12:10.700 And then we got in here

00:12:12.000 and I brought that Chris Farley picture

00:12:13.920 out of my apartment,

00:12:14.800 the nicest picture I own,

00:12:16.600 and put it in here.

00:12:17.700 And I was pissed,

00:12:18.440 dude,

00:12:18.540 every time,

00:12:18.960 because I'd sit at my dinner table at home

00:12:21.160 and be like, 1.00

00:12:21.660 damn, 0.98

00:12:21.960 I wish I had that Chris Farley. 0.99

00:12:24.280 You know,

00:12:24.720 it really tied the room together.

00:12:26.120 And this is Fighter and the Kid's old studio.

00:12:32.980 And we came in here,

00:12:34.140 man,

00:12:34.280 and we didn't give up.

00:12:36.120 You know,

00:12:36.460 and I feel pretty proud

00:12:37.280 and I want to thank you guys

00:12:38.180 for being just supportive

00:12:39.600 and being on board,

00:12:40.480 man.

00:12:41.000 That's what's up.

00:12:43.240 You know?

00:12:46.320 Yeah,

00:12:46.760 it's Mother's Day.

00:12:47.640 We got a lot of calls.

00:12:48.640 I'm not going to,

00:12:49.160 I'm not going to gabble too much.

00:12:55.740 But,

00:12:56.700 yeah,

00:12:56.980 I feel like I have a lot

00:12:57.680 on my brain and stuff,

00:12:59.040 but I've been experiencing

00:13:01.360 a lot of stress this year.

00:13:02.380 I know I talk about that.

00:13:03.320 I know I complain.

00:13:04.220 Basically,

00:13:04.480 I just complain a lot.

00:13:05.740 And I'm trying to get out

00:13:06.560 of the,

00:13:06.800 out of the complain.

00:13:09.480 I'm trying to quit eating

00:13:10.340 the complain grain

00:13:11.260 and just,

00:13:11.840 you know,

00:13:12.200 move on.

00:13:15.120 So,

00:13:15.860 today,

00:13:16.400 I'm going to keep it

00:13:16.780 about you guys.

00:13:18.420 And we had some calls.

00:13:19.860 Because really,

00:13:20.400 everything's okay,

00:13:21.180 man.

00:13:21.380 It's just my perception.

00:13:22.440 I just need to,

00:13:22.980 I just need to look

00:13:23.740 at things differently.

00:13:25.480 And when I get stressed,

00:13:26.120 I need to ask for help

00:13:27.160 or I need to ask

00:13:27.700 why am I really stressed?

00:13:30.780 You know,

00:13:31.180 and when I start,

00:13:33.040 you know,

00:13:33.420 I start getting grumpy,

00:13:34.560 I start thinking people

00:13:35.580 should be doing stuff.

00:13:37.340 Anytime I think somebody,

00:13:38.700 for me,

00:13:39.500 anytime I think someone

00:13:40.900 should do something,

00:13:42.500 something's wrong with me.

00:13:45.100 Because nobody,

00:13:45.760 people are going to do

00:13:47.040 what they're going to do,

00:13:47.960 you know.

00:13:48.660 And when I start

00:13:49.260 getting expectations,

00:13:51.720 I just,

00:13:52.520 I don't like living that way.

00:13:53.860 I don't like being

00:13:54.360 uncomfortable.

00:13:56.600 You know,

00:13:57.020 I don't like being

00:13:57.660 uncomfortable,

00:13:58.400 man.

00:14:00.720 And I'm not going to,

00:14:01.620 I'm just not going to be

00:14:02.400 that way.

00:14:02.780 I'm going to try to find

00:14:03.340 active ways to solve it.

00:14:08.820 Dude,

00:14:09.300 so I'll update you.

00:14:10.180 I've been off the sugar,

00:14:11.220 you know,

00:14:11.640 and I've been off of it.

00:14:12.820 Man, 0.99

00:14:13.000 I'm lean as a damn, 0.99

00:14:14.480 you know, 0.99

00:14:15.120 I'm lean as a dang,

00:14:16.360 you know.

00:14:19.300 And I'll show that

00:14:20.220 right there.

00:14:21.160 And you can see my arm

00:14:22.140 a little bit of,

00:14:23.500 I don't know if that's muscle

00:14:24.340 or just kind of like

00:14:25.240 part of my,

00:14:26.420 the way that my arm is,

00:14:27.460 but,

00:14:28.340 you know,

00:14:28.760 I'm getting real leaned up.

00:14:31.020 And you'll see hungry dogs

00:14:32.180 look over at me

00:14:32.820 like if I know anything

00:14:33.860 on the street.

00:14:34.780 Dude, 1.00

00:14:35.120 I don't fuck you 1.00

00:14:36.140 looking at me for, 1.00

00:14:37.340 man.

00:14:38.440 So I'm starting to look

00:14:39.840 like Santa's little helper

00:14:40.860 when they found him

00:14:42.120 on the Simpsons.

00:14:42.700 Remember that?

00:14:44.160 Remember that episode

00:14:45.260 when they found

00:14:46.020 Santa's little helper

00:14:47.660 and he was skinny.

00:14:50.880 It looked like

00:14:51.760 he'd just been eating

00:14:52.520 just air puffs

00:14:55.360 and just drinking

00:14:56.680 Ideal lattes,

00:14:57.960 you know.

00:14:58.900 Just having nothing,

00:14:59.840 just maybe a bowl

00:15:00.760 of just invisible,

00:15:02.760 you know,

00:15:04.220 flake muffins.

00:15:05.780 Nothing.

00:15:06.820 He had nothing on him

00:15:08.240 and they were racing him.

00:15:10.180 The people down at the track

00:15:11.300 was racing that dog

00:15:12.440 and making him run.

00:15:14.200 And dude,

00:15:14.460 it's hard to run

00:15:14.980 if you don't have

00:15:15.400 half a muffin in you.

00:15:17.220 If you don't have

00:15:17.920 half of a real muffin.

00:15:20.320 And they made 1.00

00:15:21.060 that damn dog run 1.00

00:15:22.080 and that shit, 1.00

00:15:22.660 I remember, 1.00

00:15:23.060 just brought the tears

00:15:23.720 right out of my eyes.

00:15:25.480 I mean like somebody

00:15:26.200 was collecting salt water

00:15:27.300 right out in front of me.

00:15:28.360 and my eyes said,

00:15:30.100 hey,

00:15:31.120 I got a little bit for you.

00:15:36.540 Let's get into

00:15:37.120 a couple calls, man.

00:15:38.180 These are all about

00:15:38.780 Mother's Day

00:15:39.400 and I appreciate you guys.

00:15:41.540 985-664-9503

00:15:43.640 is always the hotline.

00:15:46.300 Our Patreon,

00:15:47.280 on behalf of our Patreon,

00:15:48.240 we spent,

00:15:48.920 we sent flowers

00:15:50.120 to all the single moms

00:15:51.080 that we've met

00:15:51.720 over the past year and a half.

00:15:53.620 So we sent flowers

00:15:54.700 and chocolates

00:15:55.160 to all of them.

00:15:56.520 So thank you.

00:15:57.780 And we got a lot

00:15:58.440 of nice texts

00:15:59.040 and responses

00:15:59.740 and some pictures

00:16:00.680 and man,

00:16:02.100 it really just lifted me up.

00:16:03.640 It made me feel

00:16:04.260 really, really good.

00:16:05.620 And we put on the card

00:16:06.520 thank you

00:16:06.920 from the whole TPW family.

00:16:08.480 So just wanted

00:16:09.460 to let you guys know that.

00:16:11.460 Not trying to brag

00:16:12.420 or anything,

00:16:12.900 just trying to let you know

00:16:13.920 that,

00:16:14.480 you know,

00:16:18.100 that we don't give up

00:16:18.720 on our moms.

00:16:23.820 You know,

00:16:24.340 and I don't give up

00:16:25.660 on my mom.

00:16:26.440 You know,

00:16:26.740 it's like,

00:16:27.260 we don't give up

00:16:27.860 on our moms.

00:16:30.000 You know,

00:16:30.460 it's hard.

00:16:30.940 I think it's hard

00:16:31.560 in this world to,

00:16:34.900 you know,

00:16:35.420 I think it's hard.

00:16:36.720 Life is hard.

00:16:37.540 It is a real battle.

00:16:39.460 It's a beautiful battle.

00:16:41.740 But don't,

00:16:42.320 you have,

00:16:44.020 but you,

00:16:45.240 you know,

00:16:45.800 the thing that I'll show you

00:16:46.660 with a baby,

00:16:47.280 every baby can come

00:16:48.100 with a sword

00:16:49.720 and a shield.

00:16:52.720 And we don't give up

00:16:53.660 on our mothers,

00:16:54.280 you know.

00:16:56.900 And so we don't,

00:16:57.880 we don't do that here.

00:17:03.340 Because,

00:17:03.780 you know,

00:17:04.200 they,

00:17:04.520 it's hard.

00:17:06.700 Everybody's just trying

00:17:07.300 to survive,

00:17:07.960 you know it.

00:17:09.040 Let's get into

00:17:09.560 a couple of calls,

00:17:10.500 man.

00:17:11.400 I also want to let you know

00:17:12.400 that this past weekend

00:17:13.080 is brought to you

00:17:13.740 by Stitch Fix.

00:17:16.160 Now,

00:17:16.660 Stitch Fix

00:17:17.620 is an online

00:17:18.720 personal styling service.

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00:19:03.100 All right,

00:19:03.540 here's a call that

00:19:04.060 came in.

00:19:05.600 Onward.

00:19:07.360 What's up,

00:19:07.860 Theo?

00:19:08.660 My name is

00:19:09.440 George.

00:19:10.200 Thanks for the

00:19:10.980 opportunity to

00:19:12.180 shout out the

00:19:13.260 most important woman 0.66

00:19:14.020 in my life.

00:19:15.020 Her name is

00:19:15.460 Sarah.

00:19:15.720 She was born

00:19:16.340 in Syria,

00:19:17.500 moved to the

00:19:18.080 States in the

00:19:18.640 late 80s.

00:19:19.400 Okay.

00:19:20.280 So you got that

00:19:21.160 Syrian Sarah,

00:19:22.000 you got that

00:19:22.400 imported,

00:19:22.980 baby.

00:19:23.560 You know,

00:19:24.260 you got that

00:19:24.700 fancy bottle,

00:19:26.000 it sounds like.

00:19:27.360 You know,

00:19:27.660 you got that

00:19:28.080 Aunt Jemima, 1.00

00:19:29.200 that shit, 1.00

00:19:29.680 you know. 1.00

00:19:30.320 Aunt Jemima,

00:19:31.100 you knew was

00:19:31.720 good.

00:19:32.000 It came

00:19:32.660 inside of a 0.76

00:19:34.740 frickin' 0.97

00:19:35.040 urban lady. 0.97

00:19:36.600 And you know

00:19:37.080 they serving

00:19:37.640 that sweet

00:19:38.320 sauce.

00:19:38.900 You know,

00:19:42.060 and sometimes

00:19:42.560 you get that

00:19:43.100 log cabin light

00:19:44.020 and you knew 1.00

00:19:44.400 that shit was 1.00

00:19:44.960 squeezed out of 1.00

00:19:45.780 a fuckin' 0.99

00:19:46.200 pine tree, 0.99

00:19:46.940 you know,

00:19:47.180 that different

00:19:47.680 hitter.

00:19:48.860 Let's hear more.

00:19:50.280 She then popped 0.87

00:19:50.880 me and my two

00:19:51.720 older sisters out

00:19:52.660 and she got her

00:19:53.380 job working at a

00:19:54.160 grocery store.

00:19:55.400 She still works 0.96

00:19:56.120 at that same

00:19:56.760 store.

00:19:57.500 That's 22

00:19:58.340 years later,

00:19:59.020 man.

00:19:59.820 One day I was

00:20:00.320 looking over some

00:20:00.900 tax information for

00:20:01.880 her.

00:20:02.160 I was looking at

00:20:02.640 a pay stub of

00:20:03.380 hers and I

00:20:03.880 noticed a

00:20:04.540 reoccurring

00:20:05.380 deduction.

00:20:06.120 I looked it

00:20:07.440 up and saw

00:20:07.940 that it was

00:20:08.420 a charity

00:20:08.980 that she was

00:20:09.540 donating a

00:20:10.260 fraction of

00:20:10.760 her paycheck

00:20:11.120 to.

00:20:12.380 So for 22

00:20:13.580 years,

00:20:14.260 this woman who

00:20:15.060 wasn't really

00:20:16.060 making all that

00:20:16.620 much money in

00:20:17.180 the first place

00:20:17.840 had donated

00:20:19.020 over $3,000

00:20:20.720 to an organization

00:20:22.380 that helps feed 0.88

00:20:23.320 and, you know,

00:20:24.120 educate underprivileged

00:20:25.220 families.

00:20:26.300 I mean, I

00:20:26.680 couldn't believe

00:20:27.100 it.

00:20:27.920 But at the

00:20:28.340 same time,

00:20:28.920 knowing who she

00:20:29.740 was, it made

00:20:30.640 perfect sense.

00:20:32.000 Every good quality

00:20:32.960 I have is because

00:20:33.920 of her, so I

00:20:35.000 just want to

00:20:35.440 thank her.

00:20:37.080 And I want to

00:20:38.080 thank you for

00:20:38.880 the time.

00:20:40.720 You bet, man.

00:20:41.680 That's very sweet

00:20:42.380 of you.

00:20:43.700 Yeah, that's a

00:20:44.440 beautiful message.

00:20:48.000 You know, moms 0.99

00:20:48.500 do that.

00:20:48.900 They keep

00:20:49.260 something away.

00:20:50.280 You know, they

00:20:50.620 hold something

00:20:51.140 off on the

00:20:51.660 side.

00:20:52.760 Sometimes it's

00:20:53.300 for us,

00:20:53.680 sometimes it's

00:20:54.040 for somebody

00:20:54.540 else.

00:20:56.820 You know,

00:20:57.100 a lot of

00:20:57.860 moms, you 1.00

00:20:58.260 don't realize

00:20:58.820 moms help out

00:21:00.200 the other kids

00:21:00.780 in the neighborhood.

00:21:02.340 You know, you

00:21:02.620 don't realize

00:21:03.140 sometimes an

00:21:03.680 extra pat on

00:21:04.260 the back or

00:21:04.740 putting your

00:21:05.120 hand on a

00:21:05.880 young man's

00:21:06.420 neck and

00:21:06.740 just telling

00:21:07.180 him he's

00:21:07.480 doing a

00:21:07.760 good job.

00:21:08.380 You don't

00:21:08.600 know he

00:21:09.140 might not

00:21:09.420 be getting

00:21:09.800 that at

00:21:10.160 home.

00:21:11.520 You know,

00:21:11.980 and a mom

00:21:12.380 can do that.

00:21:13.100 Sometimes it

00:21:13.460 doesn't have

00:21:13.840 to, I mean,

00:21:14.420 it's nice when

00:21:14.920 it comes from

00:21:15.320 your mom, but

00:21:15.860 man, even

00:21:16.480 that second

00:21:17.060 hand, you

00:21:18.900 know, that

00:21:19.420 second hand

00:21:19.880 affection is

00:21:20.600 very powerful.

00:21:21.360 people, and

00:21:22.960 I think a lot

00:21:23.420 of moms, they 0.97

00:21:23.900 don't even

00:21:24.120 realize what

00:21:24.700 they do, you

00:21:26.320 know, even

00:21:26.840 on a group

00:21:27.280 level.

00:21:29.700 You know, and

00:21:31.120 thank you for

00:21:31.520 that message,

00:21:32.040 man, that's a

00:21:32.420 nice message to

00:21:33.080 hear about to

00:21:33.480 be your

00:21:33.700 mother.

00:21:34.740 She came

00:21:35.140 here an

00:21:35.440 immigrant, and

00:21:37.620 she stayed and

00:21:38.260 got it done,

00:21:40.000 you know, and

00:21:40.860 it's hard

00:21:41.240 work, and

00:21:41.580 there's

00:21:41.700 something nice

00:21:42.220 too, you

00:21:42.640 see, you

00:21:42.960 know, the

00:21:43.260 lady you go 0.99

00:21:43.840 to, you

00:21:44.180 see her at

00:21:44.440 the grocery

00:21:44.860 store, and

00:21:45.280 you learn a

00:21:45.740 little bit

00:21:46.020 about her

00:21:46.360 life, or

00:21:46.700 you see her

00:21:47.040 at the, you

00:21:47.780 know, the

00:21:48.040 place she works

00:21:48.700 at, the

00:21:49.040 market, or

00:21:49.500 whatever it

00:21:50.000 is, the

00:21:50.400 bank, the

00:21:51.140 you know, CEO,

00:21:52.480 whatever it

00:21:52.880 is.

00:21:53.540 It's nice to

00:21:54.140 see somebody

00:21:54.560 there year

00:21:55.120 over year, you

00:21:56.880 know, so

00:21:57.380 kudos to her 0.99

00:21:58.000 sounding like

00:21:58.280 you have a

00:21:58.480 beautiful lady 0.78

00:21:59.020 in your life.

00:21:59.980 Let's take

00:22:00.520 another call.

00:22:02.100 Gang, gang,

00:22:02.720 Theo, my

00:22:04.120 name is

00:22:04.540 Jesse, just

00:22:06.800 calling for

00:22:07.460 Mother's Day,

00:22:08.100 man, want to

00:22:08.960 share a story

00:22:09.460 about my mom,

00:22:10.980 so.

00:22:11.660 Thank you for

00:22:12.100 calling, Jesse,

00:22:12.880 and happy

00:22:14.760 Mother's Day to

00:22:15.340 your mom.

00:22:16.520 When I was

00:22:17.320 very younger,

00:22:19.040 she actually

00:22:20.880 sent me to

00:22:21.400 rehab for a

00:22:22.600 whole year.

00:22:23.820 Hell yeah,

00:22:24.520 dude, that's a

00:22:25.120 wise mom.

00:22:27.580 And that was

00:22:28.400 really helpful for

00:22:29.220 me because,

00:22:29.900 you know, it

00:22:30.300 saved my life,

00:22:31.080 essentially, I

00:22:31.740 was addicted to

00:22:33.280 them dark arts,

00:22:34.200 you know.

00:22:35.440 Oh, yeah.

00:22:36.800 Man, I feel you,

00:22:37.640 dude, the dark arts

00:22:38.220 have been thinking

00:22:38.660 about me recently.

00:22:40.600 And I can feel

00:22:41.580 them sometimes,

00:22:42.260 you know,

00:22:43.660 you know, maybe

00:22:44.420 you'll have a

00:22:44.800 little bit of

00:22:45.200 soup and you'll

00:22:45.800 hope there's

00:22:46.360 cocaine in it.

00:22:47.860 That's dark arts,

00:22:48.740 you know.

00:22:49.520 Or you'll hear

00:22:50.020 a bird or

00:22:50.620 something and

00:22:50.920 you'll look out

00:22:51.240 the window and

00:22:51.720 hope it's some,

00:22:52.320 you know,

00:22:53.120 a little bit of 0.99

00:22:53.600 some titties or 0.99

00:22:54.280 something, you 0.98

00:22:54.760 know.

00:22:56.320 And that's

00:22:56.880 dark, that's

00:22:57.280 when you know

00:22:57.880 that, you

00:22:58.480 know, you

00:22:59.980 got a contusion

00:23:00.780 in your fusion,

00:23:02.420 man.

00:23:02.740 And the way

00:23:03.140 your brain,

00:23:05.000 that your brain

00:23:06.080 is meddling

00:23:06.560 around, your

00:23:07.020 brain's playing

00:23:07.580 Othello with

00:23:10.180 Voldemort.

00:23:11.500 You know, 0.98

00:23:11.820 your brain's out

00:23:12.440 there playing

00:23:12.860 spades with,

00:23:16.100 with, who's

00:23:19.740 that man?

00:23:23.160 Professor

00:23:23.560 Snape.

00:23:24.920 Onward,

00:23:25.380 brother.

00:23:25.580 But that's

00:23:26.360 just how it

00:23:26.800 be sometimes,

00:23:27.580 man.

00:23:28.300 She sent me to

00:23:29.140 rehab and,

00:23:30.040 you know,

00:23:30.360 saved my life,

00:23:31.280 man.

00:23:31.960 So, you know,

00:23:33.780 your mother's

00:23:34.420 there to save

00:23:34.960 your life sometimes,

00:23:35.820 I guess.

00:23:36.920 Gang, gang,

00:23:38.100 hope you're doing

00:23:38.700 good, man.

00:23:39.720 Thank you.

00:23:40.940 I'm doing good

00:23:41.760 today, man.

00:23:42.400 And hearing that

00:23:42.920 just makes me

00:23:43.440 think good,

00:23:44.020 you know.

00:23:44.740 I talked to my

00:23:45.500 mother this morning

00:23:46.200 and thank you

00:23:46.700 and that, you

00:23:47.020 know, it is

00:23:47.420 important your

00:23:48.260 mother sent you

00:23:48.820 there.

00:23:49.640 You know, that's

00:23:50.040 wild.

00:23:50.360 Think about what

00:23:50.860 she had to let

00:23:51.440 go, you know.

00:23:53.500 And it's funny

00:23:54.240 how our perception

00:23:55.020 would be like,

00:23:55.460 man, my mom

00:23:55.980 sent me to 1.00

00:23:56.420 fucking rehab. 1.00

00:23:58.440 But think about 1.00

00:23:59.280 her.

00:24:01.560 You know,

00:24:02.080 taking something

00:24:02.660 that you care

00:24:03.260 about so much

00:24:04.280 and having to

00:24:05.300 let it go

00:24:05.760 somewhere like

00:24:06.340 that and just

00:24:06.860 being afraid

00:24:07.540 and, you know,

00:24:09.260 you know,

00:24:10.820 that's, it's

00:24:11.940 so crazy.

00:24:12.580 I wish we had

00:24:13.080 a button where

00:24:13.700 we could press

00:24:14.340 it and immediately

00:24:15.020 we could put

00:24:15.580 ourselves into

00:24:16.080 the other

00:24:16.580 person's shoes

00:24:17.280 to know where

00:24:17.860 they're coming

00:24:18.300 from.

00:24:21.920 But yeah,

00:24:22.540 and especially

00:24:22.800 when we're young,

00:24:23.420 we don't know.

00:24:23.940 It's hard for us

00:24:24.420 to register any

00:24:25.180 of that, man.

00:24:25.720 When we're

00:24:26.040 growing up and

00:24:27.480 you're doing all

00:24:28.120 kind of stuff and

00:24:28.960 busting nuts and

00:24:29.880 everything and,

00:24:30.620 you know,

00:24:31.200 stealing and

00:24:31.980 looking in

00:24:32.320 people's windows 0.99

00:24:33.000 and shit at 1.00

00:24:33.640 night, you 1.00

00:24:34.080 can't, you

00:24:36.000 ain't thinking

00:24:36.460 with a level

00:24:37.360 deck.

00:24:39.260 So that's

00:24:40.020 beautiful, man.

00:24:40.800 That's beautiful

00:24:41.220 tribute to your

00:24:41.860 mother right there.

00:24:42.780 I'm glad that she

00:24:43.400 sent you and you

00:24:43.920 sound healthy and

00:24:44.660 well, man.

00:24:45.900 And that's cool

00:24:46.920 because the pills,

00:24:48.800 the drugs, that 1.00

00:24:49.400 shit, they don't, 1.00

00:24:50.160 man, they don't 1.00

00:24:50.620 care.

00:24:52.560 Them things, dude,

00:24:53.300 they don't have a

00:24:53.880 heart in them.

00:24:55.020 Bro, you crack 1.00

00:24:55.700 open a damn 1.00

00:24:56.400 7,000 milligram 0.99

00:24:57.760 of, uh,

00:25:00.560 fentanyl or

00:25:01.320 whatever,

00:25:01.860 Dilaudid,

00:25:02.920 right?

00:25:03.140 You ain't, you 0.97

00:25:03.640 won't find a

00:25:04.640 vein in that 1.00

00:25:05.420 bitch. 1.00

00:25:05.800 Those things, 1.00

00:25:07.500 they don't have

00:25:07.880 a heart.

00:25:10.200 Let's take

00:25:10.720 another call.

00:25:11.300 Here we go.

00:25:11.880 As always, the

00:25:12.400 hotline, 985-664-9503.

00:25:17.280 Here we go.

00:25:18.540 Hey, Theo, this

00:25:19.620 is Hannah from

00:25:20.700 Atlanta, Georgia.

00:25:22.500 Hannah from

00:25:23.260 Atlanta.

00:25:23.980 Dang, this

00:25:24.360 sounds like

00:25:24.700 somebody out

00:25:25.120 of a, uh,

00:25:26.740 in the

00:25:27.260 thong song,

00:25:27.980 you know?

00:25:28.400 Hannah from

00:25:28.820 Atlanta got

00:25:29.420 that thong

00:25:30.100 thong.

00:25:30.920 I love

00:25:35.160 your podcast.

00:25:36.400 Um, I just

00:25:37.600 wanted to tell a

00:25:38.460 quick funny story

00:25:39.520 about my mom.

00:25:40.640 She is the

00:25:41.760 strongest person

00:25:42.660 I know.

00:25:43.160 She's amazing.

00:25:44.280 She got, um,

00:25:45.900 divorced and

00:25:46.600 then actually

00:25:47.080 recently remarried

00:25:48.460 and it's good to

00:25:49.620 see her happy

00:25:51.240 again because she

00:25:53.280 hasn't been happy

00:25:54.000 for a long time.

00:25:55.820 But isn't

00:25:56.860 that powerful?

00:25:58.060 Isn't that

00:25:58.420 powerful seeing

00:25:58.980 your mother

00:25:59.300 happy?

00:26:00.000 Yeah.

00:26:00.920 You know, I

00:26:01.660 didn't realize,

00:26:02.500 I mean, I

00:26:03.480 talk sometimes,

00:26:04.240 you know, I

00:26:04.460 tell the story

00:26:05.020 in my show,

00:26:05.760 my mother won

00:26:06.260 a perm one

00:26:06.900 time on a

00:26:07.420 radio when I

00:26:08.040 was young.

00:26:10.060 And, uh,

00:26:12.060 and it was the

00:26:12.800 first time after

00:26:13.620 that I saw my

00:26:14.300 mother just,

00:26:15.040 there was a

00:26:15.460 moment where I

00:26:15.960 just saw her

00:26:16.460 have happiness

00:26:17.060 and I'd never

00:26:17.620 seen her be

00:26:18.240 stressed,

00:26:18.860 unstressed

00:26:19.340 before.

00:26:21.520 I'd never

00:26:22.100 seen her be,

00:26:23.540 you know,

00:26:26.200 just not

00:26:26.620 concerned or

00:26:27.380 worried.

00:26:27.680 It was just

00:26:27.980 one moment.

00:26:28.700 It was just

00:26:28.980 a look in

00:26:29.460 her eye.

00:26:29.920 It was just

00:26:30.280 a moment.

00:26:31.920 And man,

00:26:32.580 it just,

00:26:33.600 I remember it

00:26:35.320 was, it just

00:26:36.020 had the whole

00:26:36.560 world felt

00:26:37.220 different to

00:26:37.800 me.

00:26:39.500 There's something

00:26:40.140 that happens

00:26:40.780 inside of a

00:26:41.300 son specifically

00:26:43.000 and I can't

00:26:44.020 speak for a

00:26:44.500 daughter because

00:26:44.880 all I got

00:26:45.280 inside of me

00:26:45.780 is male,

00:26:46.300 male DNA.

00:26:48.660 I mean, I

00:26:49.160 might have a

00:26:49.600 little, you

00:26:50.040 know, I might

00:26:50.760 get a little

00:26:51.160 bitchy around 1.00

00:26:51.940 the, you 0.94

00:26:53.440 know, I got

00:26:53.860 that DS booty,

00:26:55.300 you know, and

00:26:56.060 I got that

00:26:56.480 urban girl booty,

00:26:57.660 but otherwise I

00:26:58.480 think I'm staying,

00:26:59.140 you know,

00:26:59.820 masculine.

00:27:02.860 But there's

00:27:04.440 something when

00:27:04.800 you see your

00:27:05.220 mother get to 0.99

00:27:05.640 be at peace

00:27:06.320 that it lets

00:27:07.740 you be at

00:27:08.300 peace.

00:27:08.620 It's like you

00:27:09.000 can't, a

00:27:09.620 child, a

00:27:10.380 son, I

00:27:10.840 don't know if

00:27:11.360 a son can be

00:27:12.040 at peace if

00:27:13.300 their mother

00:27:13.760 isn't at

00:27:14.200 peace.

00:27:15.240 I don't know.

00:27:16.100 I just don't

00:27:16.520 know if it can

00:27:17.060 happen.

00:27:17.400 I don't know if

00:27:17.740 it's built into

00:27:18.440 us that if

00:27:19.420 your mother is 0.61

00:27:20.240 stressed or

00:27:22.240 overwhelmed or

00:27:23.180 worried, even

00:27:24.160 if it's just

00:27:25.880 all in her head

00:27:26.520 or whatever

00:27:26.940 that you

00:27:27.340 can't find,

00:27:28.040 I could never

00:27:28.800 be at peace

00:27:29.380 until this

00:27:30.380 one moment I

00:27:31.100 saw my

00:27:31.460 mother relax 0.91

00:27:32.240 and then I

00:27:33.120 just, I was

00:27:34.960 like, oh,

00:27:35.260 what is this?

00:27:36.080 This is a

00:27:36.640 new air that

00:27:38.980 I'm in.

00:27:39.440 Let's hear

00:27:39.720 more.

00:27:40.580 I just wanted

00:27:42.260 to tell a

00:27:42.820 story about,

00:27:43.720 I think I

00:27:44.140 was about 12

00:27:44.900 years old.

00:27:45.520 She took me

00:27:45.980 roller skating

00:27:46.660 for the first

00:27:47.260 time and I

00:27:48.640 was extremely

00:27:49.940 scared because I

00:27:51.260 hated doing

00:27:51.860 stuff like that.

00:27:52.420 I was always

00:27:52.880 afraid to get

00:27:53.520 hurt.

00:27:54.580 So we go

00:27:55.200 roller skating

00:27:56.080 and I

00:27:56.960 immediately,

00:27:58.140 as soon as

00:27:58.600 I start,

00:27:59.140 I fall right 1.00

00:27:59.880 on my ass 1.00

00:28:00.760 and she 1.00

00:28:01.660 skates by me

00:28:03.000 backwards with

00:28:04.200 her middle

00:28:04.660 fingers in the

00:28:05.480 air and her

00:28:06.120 tongue sticking

00:28:06.760 out at me.

00:28:08.080 And she's

00:28:08.660 always just

00:28:09.120 had the best

00:28:10.140 sense of humor

00:28:11.060 and I just,

00:28:11.960 I really admire

00:28:12.920 that about her.

00:28:14.600 Anyway,

00:28:15.520 just wanted to

00:28:16.320 say I love

00:28:17.100 your podcast.

00:28:18.100 Gang,

00:28:18.280 gang.

00:28:19.240 Gang,

00:28:19.900 gang,

00:28:20.240 that's crazy

00:28:21.120 with that 1.00

00:28:22.960 fucking stick, 1.00

00:28:24.040 boy. 1.00

00:28:25.200 Your mom 0.95

00:28:25.660 hit you

00:28:25.940 with that 0.99

00:28:26.220 magic stick

00:28:27.000 right down

00:28:27.380 the middle.

00:28:27.820 That's

00:28:28.020 beautiful.

00:28:29.520 That's so

00:28:30.040 funny.

00:28:30.440 You know,

00:28:30.660 it's funny

00:28:30.980 when a child

00:28:31.560 has a moment

00:28:33.380 where they

00:28:33.580 fall down

00:28:33.980 or something,

00:28:34.380 there's like

00:28:34.700 a moment

00:28:35.200 there where

00:28:35.680 if your

00:28:36.200 reaction is

00:28:36.780 a certain

00:28:37.120 way,

00:28:37.480 they'll react

00:28:38.040 a different

00:28:38.400 way.

00:28:39.640 I see that

00:28:40.340 sometimes.

00:28:41.060 You know,

00:28:41.380 if you seem

00:28:42.620 overly concerned

00:28:43.260 then they'll

00:28:44.260 keep crying.

00:28:45.100 If you make

00:28:46.420 it funny or

00:28:47.160 it's okay,

00:28:48.280 then they can

00:28:48.880 kind of make

00:28:49.360 it it's okay.

00:28:50.000 It's like

00:28:50.300 there's these

00:28:51.040 kind of teaching

00:28:51.640 type of moments.

00:28:53.100 And that's

00:28:54.640 just what I

00:28:55.020 noticed.

00:28:55.320 I could be

00:28:55.640 wrong.

00:28:55.920 I don't have

00:28:56.100 any children.

00:28:59.140 But yeah,

00:28:59.760 when you're

00:28:59.960 12 years old,

00:29:00.640 that's hilarious.

00:29:02.460 What a funny

00:29:03.040 story.

00:29:03.320 What a cool

00:29:03.760 mom.

00:29:06.260 That's such

00:29:06.820 a cool mom.

00:29:09.120 Man,

00:29:09.560 that's cool.

00:29:10.920 Yeah,

00:29:11.100 my mom always

00:29:11.700 dropped us off.

00:29:12.420 She never really

00:29:12.900 came in with us

00:29:13.700 to do stuff,

00:29:14.380 I don't think.

00:29:14.900 But I think

00:29:15.900 also I was at

00:29:16.560 that age at

00:29:17.160 that point where

00:29:17.780 I just didn't.

00:29:19.140 You don't want

00:29:19.660 your mom around

00:29:20.360 at some points.

00:29:21.160 You start to

00:29:21.760 want to be

00:29:22.600 away from them.

00:29:24.420 It's just like

00:29:25.060 birds, man.

00:29:25.540 If you look at

00:29:26.000 birds, if you

00:29:26.520 watch March of

00:29:27.120 the Penguins,

00:29:28.820 human beings,

00:29:30.660 a man and

00:29:31.220 their mother,

00:29:31.680 a boy and

00:29:32.080 their mother,

00:29:32.440 just like

00:29:32.760 March of

00:29:33.100 the Penguins.

00:29:35.260 The mom goes

00:29:36.300 off to wherever, 0.58

00:29:37.280 Seattle or

00:29:37.960 whatever, and

00:29:38.420 she's trying to

00:29:40.200 get a little bit

00:29:40.840 of fish from

00:29:41.600 this guy or

00:29:42.360 this guy.

00:29:43.780 Or trying to

00:29:44.340 start her own

00:29:45.260 little fish,

00:29:46.100 start her own

00:29:47.640 little catchery

00:29:48.420 or whatever,

00:29:49.860 just snagging 1.00

00:29:50.960 fucking carps 1.00

00:29:51.720 or whatever, 1.00

00:29:52.160 and she fills

00:29:52.700 up.

00:29:54.020 She comes home

00:29:54.780 and the baby

00:29:55.240 gets that,

00:29:56.440 she drops a

00:29:57.380 little bit of 0.87

00:29:57.840 that fricking, 0.57

00:30:00.180 that saucy 0.72

00:30:02.220 exhale right

00:30:02.920 into him.

00:30:04.160 He gets buffed

00:30:04.980 up and he

00:30:05.360 starts doing

00:30:05.820 weights and 1.00

00:30:06.360 shit. 1.00

00:30:06.840 The mom goes 1.00

00:30:07.420 off again to

00:30:08.100 wherever she

00:30:08.560 goes,

00:30:08.920 Vancouver,

00:30:10.820 wherever a

00:30:12.080 lot of these

00:30:12.460 birds are at.

00:30:14.280 Some of these

00:30:14.780 birds out there

00:30:15.380 are thotting,

00:30:16.020 to be honest.

00:30:16.640 But anyway,

00:30:17.140 decent penguin

00:30:18.540 women go to 1.00

00:30:20.820 North Pole,

00:30:21.580 whatever,

00:30:22.720 eating Santa's

00:30:23.660 leftovers up

00:30:24.700 there.

00:30:26.300 And then they

00:30:27.680 come back and

00:30:28.340 now they come

00:30:28.860 back and the

00:30:29.300 kid's getting

00:30:29.780 older and he's 1.00

00:30:30.480 fucking, 1.00

00:30:31.140 you know, 1.00

00:30:31.520 he's doing

00:30:32.740 cigarettes or

00:30:33.800 he's doing

00:30:34.540 dice or

00:30:37.200 whatever.

00:30:38.640 And his mom's

00:30:39.300 like,

00:30:39.520 well,

00:30:39.860 you know,

00:30:40.320 she's trying to

00:30:40.880 vomit into his

00:30:41.600 mouth for comfort 0.97

00:30:43.180 comfort and

00:30:43.980 he don't want

00:30:44.480 it.

00:30:45.240 He want to

00:30:45.880 do his own 1.00

00:30:46.420 shit. 1.00

00:30:46.680 He want to 1.00

00:30:46.940 go watch the

00:30:47.480 Iditarod with

00:30:48.340 his buddies

00:30:48.820 or,

00:30:49.300 you know,

00:30:50.900 or,

00:30:51.120 you know,

00:30:52.520 or go thaw a 1.00

00:30:53.300 couple bitches 1.00

00:30:53.900 out. 0.99

00:30:55.640 But then the

00:30:56.380 mother still

00:30:57.580 loves that

00:30:58.240 boy.

00:30:58.960 You know,

00:30:59.140 she don't give 0.95

00:30:59.640 up on him

00:31:00.120 even though he's

00:31:00.680 trying to leave

00:31:01.900 the nest.

00:31:02.720 And it's very

00:31:03.320 similar to

00:31:03.720 humans.

00:31:04.300 Very similar

00:31:05.760 to humans

00:31:06.500 overall.

00:31:07.660 if you look

00:31:08.800 at like a

00:31:09.160 chart.

00:31:11.100 But that's a

00:31:12.400 beautiful mom

00:31:12.940 with that 1.00

00:31:13.340 fucking roll. 1.00

00:31:14.180 To be able to 0.99

00:31:14.720 roller skate and

00:31:15.460 flip someone

00:31:16.240 off.

00:31:16.740 Jesus Christ.

00:31:18.980 Who is your

00:31:19.620 mom?

00:31:20.620 Christy Yamaguchi?

00:31:22.200 Sounds hot.

00:31:24.180 Thank you for

00:31:24.900 that call.

00:31:25.500 Very sweet.

00:31:27.020 And it's nice to

00:31:27.740 know that you

00:31:28.080 love your mother.

00:31:30.680 You know,

00:31:31.080 it just,

00:31:31.660 it just makes

00:31:33.460 me feel good.

00:31:35.600 I'm going to

00:31:36.100 tell you this

00:31:36.560 makes me feel

00:31:37.100 good as well.

00:31:40.920 That

00:31:41.360 if you

00:31:44.060 don't have a

00:31:45.160 job,

00:31:45.460 say you got

00:31:45.840 a boy,

00:31:46.220 you might be,

00:31:46.860 you probably

00:31:47.160 a boy that

00:31:47.680 don't have a

00:31:48.060 job.

00:31:48.700 Look.

00:31:50.580 And that's

00:31:51.240 okay.

00:31:52.440 You can get

00:31:53.080 one.

00:31:54.540 Hiring used

00:31:55.260 to be hard.

00:31:56.440 Multiple job

00:31:57.280 sites.

00:31:57.800 Stacks of

00:31:58.320 resumes.

00:31:58.840 What is all

00:31:59.220 this resumes?

00:32:00.380 I'm going to

00:32:00.580 start a fire

00:32:01.200 with this.

00:32:02.660 A confusing

00:32:03.220 review process.

00:32:04.780 You got to

00:32:05.100 go in,

00:32:05.720 some guy's

00:32:06.100 looking at

00:32:06.780 you.

00:32:07.100 I don't

00:32:07.340 know if

00:32:07.640 you can

00:32:07.920 do it.

00:32:09.420 Dude,

00:32:09.960 I can

00:32:10.460 do it.

00:32:12.920 But today,

00:32:13.820 hiring can

00:32:14.300 be easy

00:32:14.920 and you

00:32:15.340 only have

00:32:15.700 to go to

00:32:16.060 one place

00:32:16.660 to get

00:32:16.980 it done.

00:32:17.900 And that's

00:32:18.280 ziprecruiter.com

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00:32:22.740 Ziprecruiter

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00:32:23.740 job to

00:32:24.140 over 100

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00:32:25.040 web's

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00:32:26.300 boards.

00:32:27.200 But they

00:32:27.480 don't stop

00:32:28.020 there.

00:32:28.840 With their

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00:32:31.460 Ziprecruiter

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00:32:39.740 job.

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00:32:57.600 and right now

00:32:58.820 my listeners

00:32:59.240 can try

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00:33:03.920 Ziprecruiter.com

00:33:06.560 slash

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00:33:10.820 slash

00:33:11.640 TPW

00:33:12.560 Ziprecruiter

00:33:13.940 the smartest

00:33:14.880 way to

00:33:15.520 hire.

00:33:16.580 So you

00:33:17.100 want to

00:33:17.380 hire,

00:33:17.680 first of all

00:33:18.180 you want to

00:33:19.320 get into

00:33:19.620 that professional

00:33:20.260 space,

00:33:20.940 then you're

00:33:21.780 not hiring

00:33:22.220 somebody who's

00:33:22.740 just writing

00:33:23.200 something on

00:33:23.660 the napkin

00:33:24.220 and leaving

00:33:24.580 it in your

00:33:24.980 mailbox,

00:33:25.560 that's old

00:33:25.960 fashioned.

00:33:26.380 That's 1.00

00:33:27.720 fucking 1.00

00:33:27.960 Sliprecruiter 1.00

00:33:28.840 bro,

00:33:29.260 you trying

00:33:29.660 to recruit

00:33:30.040 but you

00:33:30.420 slip in.

00:33:32.260 This is

00:33:33.080 the other

00:33:33.640 one,

00:33:34.240 Ziprecruiter.

00:33:35.360 This is the

00:33:35.900 one where

00:33:36.240 it's all,

00:33:36.940 you're only

00:33:37.320 getting people

00:33:37.920 that have

00:33:38.440 resumes that

00:33:39.100 are sending

00:33:39.480 resumes.

00:33:40.380 You ain't

00:33:40.720 getting a

00:33:41.120 little Larry

00:33:41.640 down there

00:33:42.140 saying,

00:33:42.520 I can do

00:33:43.000 it fam,

00:33:43.820 you know

00:33:44.060 what I'm

00:33:44.300 saying?

00:33:45.780 Tell that 0.99

00:33:46.240 little wigger 1.00

00:33:46.900 to tone it 0.97

00:33:47.520 down,

00:33:48.020 you feel

00:33:48.360 me?

00:33:48.820 Gang. 0.66

00:33:50.840 Ziprecruiter.com

00:33:52.140 slash

00:33:52.740 TPW

00:33:53.940 You know,

00:33:59.300 we were

00:34:00.700 taking some

00:34:01.060 of our

00:34:01.280 Patreon

00:34:01.600 questions and

00:34:02.180 putting them

00:34:02.440 in.

00:34:02.860 I'm going to

00:34:03.200 answer this

00:34:03.720 one right

00:34:03.980 now.

00:34:04.140 This is

00:34:04.380 from

00:34:04.580 Quinn

00:34:05.100 Hassan

00:34:06.020 and gang

00:34:08.180 gang from

00:34:08.640 down under

00:34:09.280 and this

00:34:09.540 man,

00:34:10.240 Sam from

00:34:10.720 Australia

00:34:11.260 and I

00:34:12.540 used to

00:34:12.780 think people

00:34:13.160 said I'm

00:34:13.500 down under.

00:34:14.160 I thought

00:34:14.360 they was a

00:34:14.760 mechanic.

00:34:15.280 They was

00:34:15.480 doing oil

00:34:15.940 changes.

00:34:16.540 You know,

00:34:16.680 I'm from

00:34:16.900 down under

00:34:17.600 but that

00:34:20.840 was,

00:34:21.200 you know,

00:34:21.480 that's when I

00:34:21.880 was young and

00:34:22.560 didn't know as

00:34:23.220 much.

00:34:23.940 Or I

00:34:25.580 knew just

00:34:26.220 less than

00:34:26.720 I know

00:34:27.000 now.

00:34:28.420 Quinn

00:34:28.780 asked,

00:34:29.340 how often

00:34:29.800 are you

00:34:29.980 getting

00:34:30.140 recognized

00:34:30.580 now that

00:34:31.000 you're

00:34:31.160 blowing up

00:34:31.720 on a

00:34:32.000 global

00:34:32.320 level?

00:34:33.000 Like,

00:34:33.260 can you

00:34:33.520 go out

00:34:33.840 and still

00:34:34.160 be left

00:34:34.480 alone or

00:34:34.940 is there

00:34:35.160 always

00:34:35.520 someone

00:34:35.860 asking for

00:34:36.520 a photo,

00:34:37.120 etc?

00:34:38.580 I'm

00:34:39.020 from

00:34:39.200 Melbourne,

00:34:39.620 Australia

00:34:39.880 and find

00:34:40.160 it really

00:34:40.460 bizarre

00:34:40.740 watching you

00:34:41.460 spread

00:34:42.400 organically

00:34:43.080 through the

00:34:43.540 world.

00:34:44.000 Literally

00:34:44.260 never even

00:34:44.800 heard of

00:34:45.120 you five

00:34:45.500 months ago.

00:34:46.240 Then a

00:34:46.480 couple

00:34:46.640 months

00:34:46.920 later,

00:34:47.640 you're

00:34:47.920 that

00:34:48.140 popular.

00:34:48.900 We

00:34:48.980 struggle

00:34:49.260 to get

00:34:49.560 tickets to

00:34:50.000 your

00:34:50.140 Melbourne

00:34:50.440 show.

00:34:51.280 Amazing.

00:34:53.580 Well,

00:34:54.060 I will

00:34:54.280 say there

00:34:54.600 are still

00:34:55.180 tickets

00:34:55.520 available to

00:34:56.660 the

00:34:57.300 Adelaide

00:34:58.020 show in

00:34:59.040 Australia.

00:34:59.860 That's in

00:35:00.240 a couple

00:35:00.500 of weeks.

00:35:02.100 I think

00:35:02.520 that's it.

00:35:05.520 Thanks for

00:35:06.120 the question,

00:35:06.660 Quinn.

00:35:06.860 I appreciate

00:35:07.220 it.

00:35:07.400 Thanks for

00:35:07.640 your Patreon

00:35:08.040 support.

00:35:09.160 That's how

00:35:09.540 we do

00:35:09.820 all the

00:35:10.260 helping out

00:35:12.120 the single

00:35:12.480 mothers.

00:35:12.820 We're going

00:35:12.980 to do

00:35:13.140 some other

00:35:13.520 stuff.

00:35:14.020 We have

00:35:14.220 our game

00:35:14.980 plan on

00:35:15.420 there.

00:35:18.100 What's

00:35:18.560 that been

00:35:18.900 like?

00:35:20.440 Yeah,

00:35:21.040 I have

00:35:21.260 met more

00:35:21.820 people.

00:35:22.560 I meet

00:35:23.000 more

00:35:23.220 people.

00:35:24.560 I'll

00:35:25.040 say this.

00:35:26.380 The people

00:35:26.800 I meet

00:35:27.340 are people

00:35:28.940 that I feel

00:35:29.380 like I

00:35:29.620 would want

00:35:30.140 to meet

00:35:30.420 anyway.

00:35:32.100 I don't

00:35:32.400 feel like

00:35:32.720 I'm

00:35:32.920 meeting a

00:35:33.440 bunch

00:35:33.760 of

00:35:33.920 substance.

00:35:40.260 Everybody

00:35:40.620 I meet

00:35:41.080 I end

00:35:41.280 up having

00:35:41.580 a conversation

00:35:42.420 with if

00:35:42.920 I can.

00:35:43.720 At shows,

00:35:44.480 it's a

00:35:44.660 little

00:35:44.780 harder.

00:35:46.220 There's

00:35:46.620 just a

00:35:46.960 lot of

00:35:47.280 people at

00:35:47.680 once.

00:35:48.840 You've

00:35:49.080 just

00:35:49.260 performed.

00:35:49.800 It's

00:35:50.140 kind of

00:35:50.380 exhausting.

00:35:51.560 I like

00:35:51.880 to put

00:35:52.200 it all

00:35:52.480 on the

00:35:52.780 stage.

00:35:58.260 I'm

00:35:58.580 not just

00:35:58.920 trying to

00:35:59.220 sell

00:35:59.420 tickets.

00:35:59.860 I'm

00:36:00.080 trying to

00:36:00.400 get

00:36:00.540 people

00:36:00.860 to

00:36:01.080 the

00:36:01.280 show

00:36:01.500 because

00:36:01.660 I

00:36:01.760 want

00:36:01.920 them

00:36:02.060 to

00:36:02.180 see

00:36:02.340 the

00:36:02.520 show

00:36:02.760 because

00:36:02.920 I

00:36:03.040 worked

00:36:03.260 hard

00:36:03.580 on it.

00:36:05.980 I

00:36:06.380 want

00:36:06.640 them

00:36:06.780 to

00:36:06.860 have

00:36:06.960 a

00:36:07.060 good

00:36:07.220 experience.

00:36:10.620 It's

00:36:11.260 easier

00:36:11.460 to meet

00:36:11.760 people,

00:36:12.900 but it's

00:36:13.400 easier

00:36:13.740 to meet

00:36:14.140 good

00:36:14.440 people.

00:36:15.020 That's

00:36:15.200 one

00:36:15.360 thing

00:36:15.500 I've

00:36:15.820 noticed.

00:36:16.240 If I

00:36:18.140 feel like

00:36:18.480 somebody's

00:36:18.880 out of

00:36:19.120 control or

00:36:19.760 they're 1.00

00:36:20.000 real fucked 1.00

00:36:20.980 up or 0.99

00:36:21.400 something like

00:36:21.760 that,

00:36:21.900 I don't

00:36:22.100 engage in

00:36:22.680 a lot of

00:36:23.020 that type

00:36:23.460 of stuff.

00:36:26.340 But

00:36:26.700 everybody I

00:36:27.280 meet seems

00:36:27.780 to be

00:36:28.540 pretty

00:36:28.760 respectful.

00:36:29.900 Some

00:36:30.100 things have

00:36:30.440 gotten a

00:36:30.780 little

00:36:30.880 different.

00:36:32.240 I got a

00:36:35.040 message from

00:36:35.500 a pitcher from

00:36:36.260 the Dodgers

00:36:36.860 the other

00:36:37.200 day on

00:36:37.620 DM.

00:36:39.180 He was

00:36:39.440 like,

00:36:41.540 hey,

00:36:41.700 man,

00:36:41.860 I'm a

00:36:42.080 big fan.

00:36:42.660 I was

00:36:42.860 like,

00:36:43.060 dude,

00:36:43.180 you're

00:36:43.400 a

00:36:43.520 pitcher

00:36:44.500 for

00:36:44.740 the

00:36:44.920 Dodgers,

00:36:45.880 dude.

00:36:47.840 Aren't

00:36:49.640 there

00:36:49.760 batters

00:36:50.280 out there

00:36:50.580 right now?

00:36:51.040 Don't

00:36:51.360 y'all have

00:36:51.600 something to

00:36:51.920 do?

00:36:53.520 Things like

00:36:54.100 that are

00:36:54.400 kind of

00:36:54.660 interesting

00:36:55.020 and kind

00:36:55.340 of

00:36:55.460 flattering.

00:36:56.740 But then

00:36:57.300 I really

00:36:57.600 get scared

00:36:58.000 about my

00:36:58.400 ego.

00:37:00.300 I really

00:37:00.900 get scared

00:37:01.320 about my

00:37:01.700 ego.

00:37:04.920 Because

00:37:05.280 I'll start

00:37:05.700 noticing that

00:37:06.320 in my

00:37:08.500 head I

00:37:08.780 get a

00:37:08.960 little bit

00:37:09.140 more

00:37:09.280 demanding

00:37:09.740 about

00:37:10.020 stuff.

00:37:11.560 I don't

00:37:11.860 like that,

00:37:12.400 man.

00:37:12.520 I don't

00:37:12.760 like,

00:37:14.960 you know,

00:37:16.600 I don't

00:37:16.900 like,

00:37:21.900 I don't

00:37:23.760 I mean,

00:37:27.880 I don't

00:37:28.300 know.

00:37:28.580 I don't

00:37:28.940 like that.

00:37:30.740 I don't

00:37:31.040 like that.

00:37:31.640 And that's

00:37:31.920 just ego.

00:37:32.520 Some of

00:37:32.780 it's

00:37:32.920 stress.

00:37:33.420 Some of

00:37:33.600 it's

00:37:33.740 ego.

00:37:34.180 Some of

00:37:34.400 it's

00:37:34.500 just

00:37:34.620 being

00:37:34.820 tired.

00:37:37.040 Which

00:37:37.400 is why

00:37:37.700 I'm

00:37:37.820 excited.

00:37:38.060 I'm

00:37:38.180 excited to

00:37:38.620 go to

00:37:38.820 Australia.

00:37:39.200 I'm

00:37:39.500 taking

00:37:39.660 six

00:37:39.980 days and

00:37:40.320 I'm

00:37:40.420 going to

00:37:40.700 Bali.

00:37:41.820 Bali,

00:37:42.480 not the

00:37:43.800 fitness club.

00:37:44.440 I'm

00:37:44.520 going to 1.00

00:37:44.860 damn 1.00

00:37:45.200 Indonesia. 1.00

00:37:48.220 So

00:37:48.340 somebody,

00:37:49.700 my buddy

00:37:50.120 Simon Rex

00:37:50.720 said it

00:37:50.980 was a

00:37:51.160 good

00:37:51.300 place and

00:37:51.680 so I'm

00:37:51.900 going to

00:37:52.020 go.

00:37:52.300 I just

00:37:52.500 said, 1.00

00:37:52.760 fuck it, 1.00

00:37:53.040 I'm 1.00

00:37:53.140 going.

00:37:54.140 Found me

00:37:54.580 a place

00:37:54.960 on there,

00:37:55.380 travel

00:37:55.680 advisor and

00:37:56.240 I'm headed

00:37:56.500 to Bali

00:37:56.860 tomorrow

00:37:57.180 morning.

00:37:58.160 So I'm

00:37:58.600 taking a

00:37:58.920 break.

00:38:01.200 But yeah,

00:38:01.760 it's

00:38:01.840 interesting.

00:38:02.680 Popularity

00:38:03.040 is interesting.

00:38:04.220 But you

00:38:04.440 know,

00:38:04.680 I don't

00:38:05.640 want to be

00:38:05.980 popular.

00:38:06.420 I want to

00:38:06.740 do something.

00:38:09.180 And I

00:38:09.440 don't know

00:38:09.680 what that

00:38:10.040 is sometimes.

00:38:12.120 You know,

00:38:13.340 I just,

00:38:14.100 like popularity

00:38:15.000 doesn't,

00:38:16.320 at the end

00:38:16.940 there's not

00:38:17.220 really a

00:38:17.580 value to

00:38:18.280 it.

00:38:19.400 You know,

00:38:19.740 it's exciting.

00:38:20.740 I'm grateful.

00:38:21.480 I know that

00:38:21.860 like,

00:38:22.620 you know,

00:38:22.920 me and

00:38:23.180 Dustin

00:38:23.420 Poirier are

00:38:23.920 going to

00:38:24.040 do a

00:38:24.300 show down

00:38:24.680 in Louisiana

00:38:25.200 later this

00:38:25.960 year in

00:38:26.360 Lafayette.

00:38:28.440 That's going

00:38:28.960 to be a

00:38:29.260 fundraiser for

00:38:29.920 his area.

00:38:30.720 You know,

00:38:30.920 like stuff

00:38:31.240 like that

00:38:31.580 really makes

00:38:32.200 me feel

00:38:32.540 good.

00:38:32.960 just me

00:38:37.360 like getting

00:38:38.080 like,

00:38:39.340 I don't

00:38:39.700 know,

00:38:39.860 it's

00:38:40.000 interesting.

00:38:40.440 I just

00:38:40.680 think that

00:38:41.000 the ego

00:38:41.360 is very

00:38:41.700 dangerous.

00:38:43.080 And so

00:38:43.340 I just,

00:38:43.900 I'm very

00:38:44.300 nervous about

00:38:45.600 you know,

00:38:47.580 more people

00:38:48.740 getting excited.

00:38:50.060 I'm excited

00:38:50.580 but I just,

00:38:52.840 you know,

00:38:53.780 I'm just

00:38:54.040 trying to be

00:38:54.480 careful because

00:38:55.140 I don't

00:38:55.480 want to,

00:38:57.060 I don't

00:38:58.660 want to just

00:38:59.020 sit around

00:38:59.320 thinking I'm

00:38:59.880 good.

00:39:00.200 and that

00:39:01.940 seems to

00:39:02.300 be like a 0.54

00:39:02.680 side effect

00:39:03.160 of something

00:39:03.500 that can

00:39:03.760 happen.

00:39:07.140 You know,

00:39:07.700 I want to

00:39:08.100 stay in

00:39:08.580 motion and

00:39:09.360 I want to,

00:39:11.380 you know,

00:39:12.380 I don't

00:39:12.720 know.

00:39:13.560 I just

00:39:13.900 want to be

00:39:14.200 okay because

00:39:15.460 popularity also

00:39:16.120 seems like a

00:39:16.580 very dangerous

00:39:17.220 thing.

00:39:18.880 So,

00:39:19.320 but with

00:39:20.140 that said,

00:39:21.160 I'm very

00:39:21.600 excited that

00:39:22.100 people are

00:39:22.420 coming to

00:39:22.700 the shows

00:39:23.280 and the

00:39:24.740 people that

00:39:25.060 I meet are

00:39:25.560 good people

00:39:26.180 and so I'm

00:39:27.820 excited to

00:39:28.240 meet them,

00:39:28.660 man.

00:39:29.520 But thank

00:39:30.100 you for

00:39:30.260 that

00:39:30.360 question,

00:39:30.780 Quinn

00:39:30.980 Hassan,

00:39:31.420 and thank

00:39:31.740 you for

00:39:32.160 being a

00:39:33.020 part of

00:39:33.320 sending all

00:39:34.040 those flowers

00:39:34.480 to all the

00:39:34.880 single moms 0.86

00:39:35.300 that we

00:39:35.540 followed up

00:39:36.200 with all

00:39:36.400 of them.

00:39:36.560 We'll put

00:39:36.740 some of

00:39:36.980 the texts,

00:39:37.440 some of

00:39:37.580 them sent

00:39:37.780 me some

00:39:38.040 nice texts,

00:39:38.620 some of

00:39:38.780 them are

00:39:38.920 still coming

00:39:39.860 in.

00:39:43.060 Anyhow,

00:39:43.500 another question

00:39:44.040 that came

00:39:44.360 in,

00:39:44.500 this is

00:39:44.740 from

00:39:44.940 Stefan

00:39:45.640 Borglick,

00:39:48.400 Borglick,

00:39:49.920 Borglick,

00:39:51.220 Borglick,

00:39:51.760 Borglicky? 0.97

00:39:52.080 I want to

00:39:52.440 say Borglick,

00:39:53.560 Borglicky,

00:39:54.800 Borglicky. 1.00

00:39:56.000 Thank you,

00:39:56.560 Stefan,

00:39:56.900 and I'm sorry

00:39:57.260 butcher in

00:39:58.200 your name.

00:39:59.420 Have you

00:39:59.580 ever grown

00:39:59.900 a big beard

00:40:00.740 or would

00:40:02.480 you?

00:40:03.420 Dude,

00:40:03.720 a big beard,

00:40:04.360 look,

00:40:04.540 I saw this

00:40:04.960 guy on a

00:40:05.380 bus one

00:40:05.800 time in

00:40:06.200 Tucson,

00:40:06.960 and this

00:40:07.520 dude had

00:40:08.020 his beard,

00:40:08.580 he had it

00:40:08.960 dug out,

00:40:09.940 and one

00:40:10.360 time I

00:40:10.760 saw him,

00:40:11.720 and he

00:40:12.080 had a

00:40:12.460 thing of

00:40:13.540 cigarettes

00:40:14.120 in there,

00:40:14.900 you know,

00:40:15.240 a pack of

00:40:15.620 Palma's in

00:40:16.480 there,

00:40:17.360 and a

00:40:18.080 lighter,

00:40:18.500 and he

00:40:18.600 had it

00:40:18.860 tucked down

00:40:19.380 into the

00:40:19.960 beard so

00:40:20.300 he could

00:40:20.520 reach in

00:40:20.980 there and

00:40:22.180 get the,

00:40:22.660 you know,

00:40:24.160 get his

00:40:24.620 little

00:40:24.820 sustainability

00:40:25.580 sticks and

00:40:26.400 just get 0.97

00:40:26.800 that hit.

00:40:27.640 Get his

00:40:28.080 nerves level.

00:40:29.720 And then I

00:40:30.420 saw him

00:40:30.860 probably seven

00:40:31.860 months later

00:40:32.560 in Tucson

00:40:33.020 because I

00:40:33.340 used to

00:40:33.560 ride the

00:40:33.900 bus in

00:40:34.300 Tucson,

00:40:35.800 you know,

00:40:36.080 I used to

00:40:36.380 ride the

00:40:36.740 three,

00:40:37.940 I used to

00:40:38.480 ride the

00:40:38.760 seven,

00:40:39.660 to get over

00:40:41.300 to Wilmot

00:40:41.800 Avenue to

00:40:42.400 go,

00:40:42.620 I was bus

00:40:43.100 boying over

00:40:43.620 there,

00:40:44.520 and this is

00:40:45.260 when I was

00:40:45.560 bus boying out

00:40:46.100 in Arizona,

00:40:46.820 and dude,

00:40:47.080 I was on

00:40:47.460 creatine,

00:40:48.600 and I was 1.00

00:40:49.180 a fucking 1.00

00:40:49.620 bus boy, 1.00

00:40:51.200 dog,

00:40:51.980 I was a

00:40:52.400 bus man,

00:40:53.220 dude,

00:40:53.480 I was,

00:40:54.320 bro,

00:40:54.660 you know,

00:40:55.240 when you're

00:40:55.620 doing creatine

00:40:56.740 to bus

00:40:57.640 boy,

00:40:58.620 you're gonna

00:41:01.060 do good,

00:41:02.220 okay?

00:41:03.120 I was the

00:41:03.820 only person

00:41:04.760 at City

00:41:05.920 Grill

00:41:06.240 Restaurant out

00:41:07.040 there in

00:41:07.320 Wilmot and

00:41:07.900 Tanker Verde

00:41:08.560 over there

00:41:09.080 in Tucson,

00:41:10.200 Arizona,

00:41:10.780 who was 1.00

00:41:12.580 fucking 0.99

00:41:13.600 yoked 1.00

00:41:14.800 to get

00:41:16.020 those plates,

00:41:17.060 boy,

00:41:18.000 get those

00:41:19.260 cups,

00:41:19.840 oh,

00:41:20.140 you didn't

00:41:20.360 finish your

00:41:20.780 bread,

00:41:21.040 I don't

00:41:21.200 give a 0.99

00:41:21.520 fuck, 1.00

00:41:21.920 boy, 1.00

00:41:22.140 I put it

00:41:22.480 in this

00:41:22.720 bus bin,

00:41:23.380 half a

00:41:23.800 steak,

00:41:24.380 half a

00:41:24.880 cookie,

00:41:25.460 a little

00:41:25.720 bit of

00:41:25.940 ice cream,

00:41:26.520 melted in a

00:41:27.340 bowl,

00:41:27.880 poured in,

00:41:28.500 put the

00:41:28.760 bowl in,

00:41:29.700 on the

00:41:31.740 next table,

00:41:33.280 dude, 0.96

00:41:33.520 I would hit 0.98

00:41:33.900 so many, 0.98

00:41:34.440 I would hit

00:41:35.100 the next

00:41:35.480 restaurant,

00:41:36.240 bro,

00:41:36.680 they had a

00:41:37.200 Ralph and

00:41:37.620 cakus down

00:41:38.460 the street,

00:41:38.900 I was 1.00

00:41:39.160 fucking in 0.99

00:41:39.700 there doing 1.00

00:41:40.180 shit for 1.00

00:41:40.720 them, 1.00

00:41:41.060 freelancing,

00:41:41.800 right,

00:41:42.660 our dishwasher

00:41:43.400 was like,

00:41:43.860 where are

00:41:44.200 these from,

00:41:46.080 you know,

00:41:46.460 and that was

00:41:46.720 a French

00:41:47.160 accent,

00:41:47.820 so don't

00:41:48.020 even come

00:41:48.460 at me,

00:41:50.020 I do

00:41:50.560 French how

00:41:51.020 I want

00:41:51.380 to do

00:41:51.680 French,

00:41:53.100 but dude,

00:41:54.160 it was

00:41:54.420 wild,

00:41:55.080 man,

00:41:55.360 I was a

00:41:55.940 bus boy,

00:41:57.160 and now

00:41:57.940 you got

00:41:58.200 these bus,

00:41:58.720 but they

00:41:58.900 don't know,

00:41:59.480 I don't

00:41:59.860 know,

00:42:00.880 can I get

00:42:01.840 you some

00:42:02.300 more water,

00:42:05.360 and I'm

00:42:05.680 like,

00:42:05.960 dude, 0.99

00:42:06.220 I fucking 0.99

00:42:06.680 brought my 0.99

00:42:07.160 own water,

00:42:07.620 I pull a

00:42:08.140 pail out

00:42:08.600 of my 1.00

00:42:08.900 shit, 1.00

00:42:09.280 because I 1.00

00:42:09.580 still stay

00:42:10.840 bus woke,

00:42:12.060 bruh, 1.00

00:42:14.480 damn, 1.00

00:42:15.000 sorry, 1.00

00:42:15.240 that shit 0.98

00:42:15.380 got me 1.00

00:42:15.620 heated up,

00:42:17.620 have I

00:42:18.180 grown a

00:42:18.460 big beard,

00:42:18.800 or would I,

00:42:19.200 I would,

00:42:19.680 it's scary,

00:42:20.280 but I think

00:42:20.600 I would,

00:42:21.600 let's take

00:42:22.100 another couple

00:42:22.500 of calls

00:42:22.840 here from

00:42:23.140 Mother's Day,

00:42:23.620 here we go,

00:42:25.360 what up,

00:42:25.800 Theo,

00:42:26.260 this is Jake

00:42:26.960 from San

00:42:27.440 Diego,

00:42:28.480 just wanted

00:42:28.820 to share a

00:42:29.500 mom thought

00:42:30.120 with you and

00:42:30.720 other past

00:42:31.260 weekenders,

00:42:32.640 back in the

00:42:33.100 day,

00:42:33.360 my mom had

00:42:33.920 a blue

00:42:34.380 Aerostar

00:42:35.140 minivan,

00:42:36.140 looked like

00:42:36.700 Bart Simpson's

00:42:37.480 tube,

00:42:38.140 yeah,

00:42:39.000 bruh,

00:42:40.100 we had

00:42:40.700 that van,

00:42:41.720 dude,

00:42:43.120 bro,

00:42:43.560 one time my

00:42:44.140 brother and I

00:42:44.580 thought we

00:42:44.920 could keep

00:42:45.240 the van

00:42:45.760 closed,

00:42:46.680 the door

00:42:47.060 closed,

00:42:47.520 if we put a

00:42:48.060 whole bunch 1.00

00:42:48.620 of fucking 1.00

00:42:49.120 super glue 1.00

00:42:50.320 on it,

00:42:50.840 right,

00:42:51.120 the little

00:42:51.580 tubes,

00:42:51.980 remember that 1.00

00:42:52.340 scary shit 1.00

00:42:53.060 you finally 1.00

00:42:53.560 found out

00:42:54.000 your mom

00:42:54.440 had,

00:42:55.220 the real

00:42:55.960 kind of

00:42:56.340 stuff,

00:42:56.960 the stuff

00:42:57.440 that was

00:42:57.720 holding your

00:42:58.400 parents'

00:42:58.860 marriage

00:42:59.080 together,

00:42:59.620 that little

00:43:00.120 tube,

00:43:01.260 that,

00:43:01.720 you know,

00:43:02.180 and we

00:43:02.900 put as

00:43:03.300 much of

00:43:03.720 that as

00:43:04.020 we could

00:43:04.360 on the

00:43:04.640 van door

00:43:05.220 and closed

00:43:05.820 that bed

00:43:06.400 and it

00:43:09.780 worked,

00:43:10.560 bro,

00:43:11.220 it worked

00:43:13.160 for about

00:43:13.520 three months,

00:43:15.160 so we had to

00:43:15.840 get in the

00:43:16.260 back of the

00:43:16.780 van and in

00:43:17.240 the front

00:43:17.640 door and

00:43:17.960 my mom

00:43:18.240 was so

00:43:20.320 furious

00:43:21.040 because she

00:43:23.200 had all her

00:43:23.640 cookies and

00:43:24.140 newspapers back

00:43:25.020 there for

00:43:26.080 the delivery

00:43:26.660 route,

00:43:27.120 so you

00:43:27.360 know,

00:43:27.540 we'd be

00:43:27.820 leaving over

00:43:28.380 the back

00:43:28.800 seat, 1.00

00:43:29.180 fucking 1.00

00:43:29.420 snag a 1.00

00:43:30.040 snick a

00:43:30.460 doodle,

00:43:30.820 you know,

00:43:32.260 snag a 1.00

00:43:32.720 fucking 1.00

00:43:33.000 sports section 1.00

00:43:33.920 and I'm

00:43:34.240 out there,

00:43:35.020 I'm nine

00:43:35.620 years old,

00:43:37.100 you know,

00:43:37.560 learning about

00:43:38.160 them Wall

00:43:38.620 Street

00:43:38.860 journals,

00:43:39.540 bro,

00:43:40.700 and have,

00:43:41.280 you know,

00:43:41.580 and getting

00:43:41.900 sugared up

00:43:42.640 before the

00:43:43.200 day,

00:43:44.700 but yeah,

00:43:46.100 mom beat 1.00

00:43:46.440 our ass 1.00

00:43:46.940 for that, 1.00

00:43:47.360 boy,

00:43:48.580 but we

00:43:48.940 love her,

00:43:49.320 man,

00:43:49.640 let's hear

00:43:50.000 more,

00:43:51.080 one night

00:43:51.480 it was

00:43:51.740 stolen,

00:43:52.580 but the

00:43:53.100 police found

00:43:53.700 it a few

00:43:54.320 weeks later,

00:43:55.220 oh yeah,

00:43:55.900 police always

00:43:56.440 found that

00:43:56.880 Astro van,

00:43:57.640 thing be

00:43:57.920 burnt out,

00:43:59.160 some graffiti

00:44:00.040 in there,

00:44:00.580 you know,

00:44:02.040 by the

00:44:02.720 border,

00:44:03.840 this dude

00:44:04.340 took all

00:44:04.800 the back

00:44:05.160 seats out

00:44:05.740 and got

00:44:06.240 caught bringing

00:44:06.720 people over

00:44:07.280 from Mexico,

00:44:08.700 now,

00:44:09.660 my dudes

00:44:10.000 didn't have

00:44:10.400 a lot of

00:44:10.740 money,

00:44:11.260 so she

00:44:11.580 just had

00:44:12.180 me and

00:44:12.540 my siblings

00:44:13.040 put lawn

00:44:13.700 chairs and

00:44:14.300 folding chairs

00:44:15.040 back there,

00:44:16.160 and she

00:44:16.940 wasn't the

00:44:17.260 best driver

00:44:17.780 either,

00:44:18.640 it was like

00:44:18.960 a rock

00:44:19.460 tumbler full

00:44:20.140 of kids

00:44:20.560 in there,

00:44:21.380 that's

00:44:24.700 hilarious,

00:44:25.320 so no

00:44:25.740 seats in

00:44:26.320 there,

00:44:26.740 he said

00:44:27.080 it was

00:44:27.260 like a

00:44:27.560 rock

00:44:27.880 tumbler full

00:44:28.500 of kids,

00:44:29.120 that's

00:44:29.920 hilarious,

00:44:30.580 man,

00:44:31.860 dude,

00:44:37.660 that's

00:44:37.920 great,

00:44:38.400 man,

00:44:39.140 let's hear

00:44:39.540 a little

00:44:39.740 more,

00:44:40.780 it was

00:44:41.080 fun though,

00:44:42.360 it was a

00:44:42.660 lot of

00:44:42.880 fun,

00:44:43.180 man,

00:44:44.080 safety

00:44:44.280 wasn't as

00:44:44.780 big of a

00:44:45.160 concern

00:44:45.600 back then,

00:44:46.460 you know,

00:44:46.780 yeah,

00:44:47.800 safety wasn't

00:44:48.480 as big

00:44:48.780 a concern

00:44:49.180 because you

00:44:49.600 found out

00:44:50.200 who cared

00:44:50.700 about you,

00:44:52.060 somebody put

00:44:52.620 their arm

00:44:53.080 over you,

00:44:54.160 you know,

00:44:54.580 you ride on

00:44:55.160 your brother's

00:44:55.700 lap or your

00:44:56.320 older sister's

00:44:57.400 lap and they

00:44:58.100 would hold

00:44:58.440 on to you

00:44:59.140 and you

00:44:59.840 felt loved

00:45:00.600 and then they

00:45:01.980 made the

00:45:02.400 laws,

00:45:02.860 you gotta have

00:45:03.300 this piece

00:45:03.700 of cloth

00:45:04.200 that don't

00:45:04.520 have any

00:45:04.860 feelings,

00:45:06.080 at least

00:45:06.480 write something

00:45:07.100 on the

00:45:07.400 seat belt

00:45:07.840 that lets

00:45:08.240 you know

00:45:08.500 you cared

00:45:08.920 about,

00:45:09.320 you know,

00:45:10.300 I'd be

00:45:10.720 an arm if

00:45:12.000 I could,

00:45:12.460 you know,

00:45:14.080 I do care

00:45:15.160 about you

00:45:15.560 even though

00:45:15.800 it doesn't

00:45:16.100 feel like

00:45:16.700 it,

00:45:17.400 I want

00:45:18.080 you to

00:45:18.320 stay safe

00:45:18.960 because,

00:45:19.980 well,

00:45:20.620 you know,

00:45:21.820 you know,

00:45:22.140 I got

00:45:22.380 feelings,

00:45:23.600 like put

00:45:24.060 some stuff

00:45:24.440 on the

00:45:24.700 seat belt

00:45:24.960 that at

00:45:25.220 least,

00:45:25.560 but no,

00:45:26.620 man,

00:45:26.980 they make

00:45:27.320 the law

00:45:27.820 and then

00:45:28.140 you gotta

00:45:28.440 have the 1.00

00:45:28.880 stupid 1.00

00:45:29.240 strap, 1.00

00:45:29.860 now you're

00:45:30.180 just sitting

00:45:30.580 there by

00:45:31.000 yourself,

00:45:31.560 you don't

00:45:31.760 know if

00:45:32.000 anybody

00:45:32.300 cares and

00:45:33.900 you gotta

00:45:34.140 live through

00:45:34.720 the accident

00:45:35.320 you're about

00:45:35.720 to be in

00:45:36.180 with the,

00:45:36.840 you know,

00:45:37.220 in the car.

00:45:38.900 Back in the

00:45:39.560 day,

00:45:39.900 dude,

00:45:40.140 you had,

00:45:40.400 you had,

00:45:41.020 you know,

00:45:41.240 especially if

00:45:41.680 you were the

00:45:42.060 little family

00:45:42.740 member,

00:45:43.920 little Chauncey

00:45:44.840 or whatever,

00:45:46.500 you know, 1.00

00:45:46.960 little fucking 0.99

00:45:47.600 Darnell or 1.00

00:45:48.440 little fucking, 1.00

00:45:49.400 you know, 1.00

00:45:50.020 Betty,

00:45:51.220 they had

00:45:51.580 somebody hold

00:45:52.180 you,

00:45:52.260 they'd hold

00:45:52.620 you down.

00:45:53.200 If you've

00:45:53.440 been bad,

00:45:53.960 somebody hold

00:45:54.420 their hand

00:45:54.840 over your

00:45:55.200 mouth for

00:45:55.580 nine miles

00:45:56.320 while y'all

00:45:56.600 going out

00:45:57.080 there to

00:45:57.900 land a

00:45:58.320 ponds

00:45:58.580 campground

00:45:59.240 to get a,

00:45:59.660 you know,

00:46:00.080 a couple

00:46:00.260 grill meats

00:46:01.000 and do the

00:46:01.380 water slide.

00:46:03.840 Man,

00:46:04.320 you had,

00:46:04.620 you know,

00:46:05.400 you had it.

00:46:06.780 And that's

00:46:07.120 how you knew

00:46:07.560 people cared,

00:46:08.360 bro,

00:46:08.520 you got to 1.00

00:46:09.040 the damn 1.00

00:46:09.540 wherever you 1.00

00:46:10.440 were going

00:46:10.980 and you had

00:46:11.720 a bunch of

00:46:12.140 lipstick,

00:46:12.840 your sister's

00:46:13.460 been kissing

00:46:14.060 you a thousand

00:46:14.780 times,

00:46:15.940 you know,

00:46:16.920 your tender

00:46:17.360 brother's trying

00:46:18.040 to date a

00:46:18.600 little bit,

00:46:18.920 he's slipping

00:46:19.340 you love

00:46:19.880 notes,

00:46:20.840 but he's,

00:46:21.200 you know,

00:46:21.480 he's been

00:46:21.720 holding on to

00:46:22.320 you with

00:46:22.540 his legs

00:46:23.020 for 40

00:46:23.620 minutes

00:46:23.960 during the

00:46:24.560 ride.

00:46:25.820 You got

00:46:26.460 every,

00:46:26.800 but you

00:46:27.100 felt cared

00:46:27.920 about and

00:46:28.580 you were

00:46:28.800 safe.

00:46:29.080 You probably

00:46:29.360 got in

00:46:29.700 nine accidents

00:46:30.460 on the way

00:46:31.020 there,

00:46:31.760 but you

00:46:32.200 didn't need

00:46:32.540 a seat

00:46:32.920 belt,

00:46:33.720 you know,

00:46:35.120 you just

00:46:35.480 needed to be

00:46:36.120 just loved

00:46:36.700 on,

00:46:37.000 you know,

00:46:38.700 and that

00:46:38.920 kept

00:46:39.160 everybody

00:46:39.520 safe.

00:46:39.940 It was

00:46:40.060 different

00:46:40.280 times.

00:46:40.700 Safety

00:46:40.880 wasn't

00:46:41.200 as big

00:46:41.520 of a

00:46:41.720 concern,

00:46:43.000 you know,

00:46:43.180 but then

00:46:43.460 different

00:46:43.740 things

00:46:43.980 happened.

00:46:44.300 That

00:46:44.380 space shuttle

00:46:44.940 blew up

00:46:45.440 and that,

00:46:46.280 you know,

00:46:46.760 really shook

00:46:47.320 everybody in

00:46:48.040 that,

00:46:48.760 but these

00:46:49.180 lawyers,

00:46:49.720 man,

00:46:49.880 they'll 1.00

00:46:50.060 fucking ruin 1.00

00:46:50.640 it all. 0.99

00:46:53.080 Thank you

00:46:53.580 for that

00:46:53.820 call,

00:46:54.100 man.

00:46:54.220 Let's

00:46:54.340 take another

00:46:54.780 call.

00:46:56.340 But first,

00:46:57.000 this past

00:46:57.380 weekend is

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00:48:00.520 slash

00:48:00.960 Theo Vaughn

00:48:01.820 to start

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00:48:14.460 Go there,

00:48:15.040 listen to

00:48:15.440 something.

00:48:15.760 Oh,

00:48:15.900 maybe it's

00:48:16.320 isn't

00:48:16.460 something I

00:48:16.880 cared about.

00:48:18.060 You know,

00:48:18.380 you want to

00:48:18.720 do claymation,

00:48:19.600 you want to

00:48:19.940 do art,

00:48:21.400 you know,

00:48:22.040 you want to

00:48:22.460 learn to,

00:48:22.860 you know,

00:48:23.180 work at the

00:48:23.820 senior center

00:48:24.440 and do the

00:48:24.920 superpositories,

00:48:27.000 putting vitamins

00:48:27.620 in a senior 0.99

00:48:28.240 butt. 0.94

00:48:28.980 Do it.

00:48:30.020 But watch

00:48:30.540 the videos

00:48:31.160 first,

00:48:31.560 learn the

00:48:31.920 instruction

00:48:32.420 mentals.

00:48:33.640 Learn your

00:48:34.080 life,

00:48:34.540 man.

00:48:35.300 We love

00:48:35.960 you here.

00:48:38.520 Oh,

00:48:39.660 let's take

00:48:40.400 another couple

00:48:40.780 calls.

00:48:41.120 Man,

00:48:41.180 I'm really

00:48:41.460 enjoying this,

00:48:42.160 people sharing

00:48:42.580 stories about

00:48:43.020 their mom.

00:48:44.300 Dude,

00:48:44.480 it must be

00:48:44.820 fun to be

00:48:45.260 driving that

00:48:45.740 rock tumbler

00:48:46.420 when you're

00:48:46.720 a mom,

00:48:47.320 you know,

00:48:48.920 skating by

00:48:49.760 with that

00:48:50.100 middle finger

00:48:50.740 out,

00:48:52.160 sending your

00:48:52.720 son off to

00:48:53.180 rehab.

00:48:53.520 lots of

00:48:55.700 stuff moms

00:48:56.260 do.

00:48:57.400 See yo,

00:48:58.500 gang gang,

00:48:59.420 my dude.

00:49:00.740 It's Andrew

00:49:01.560 from Lafayette,

00:49:02.700 Louisiana.

00:49:03.820 I just wanted

00:49:04.140 to call him.

00:49:04.680 Andrew from

00:49:05.360 that Lafaytaffy 0.99

00:49:06.360 boy over

00:49:07.380 there where

00:49:08.200 it's a soup.

00:49:08.840 Everything's a 1.00

00:49:09.360 damn soup. 1.00

00:49:10.600 You step in a 1.00

00:49:11.360 puddle, bro,

00:49:11.900 and you pull

00:49:12.300 out and you

00:49:12.680 got a bunch

00:49:13.000 of,

00:49:13.260 you have,

00:49:14.460 you know,

00:49:15.380 you got a

00:49:15.840 recipe inside,

00:49:16.660 written on the

00:49:17.160 inside of your

00:49:17.640 shoe.

00:49:17.900 It is good

00:49:21.200 food over

00:49:21.700 there in

00:49:21.980 Lafayette.

00:49:23.160 Onward.

00:49:23.840 All in with

00:49:24.300 a story about

00:49:25.020 my mom.

00:49:26.400 You know,

00:49:26.640 happy Mother's

00:49:27.240 Day to all

00:49:27.820 the moms out

00:49:28.540 there.

00:49:29.740 So back in

00:49:30.440 2008, I was

00:49:31.320 at Bonnaroo

00:49:32.120 watching Pearl

00:49:33.820 Jam.

00:49:34.500 Oh, hell yeah,

00:49:35.180 he's on that

00:49:36.140 dust, on them

00:49:36.860 drugs.

00:49:37.320 Let's hear it.

00:49:37.940 Catching that

00:49:38.520 buzz, 0.63

00:49:39.060 burners.

00:49:39.860 Gang,

00:49:40.440 gang.

00:49:41.700 I got a

00:49:42.400 little too

00:49:42.900 wasted and,

00:49:44.560 you know,

00:49:45.940 I lost my

00:49:46.680 wallet.

00:49:48.360 So the next

00:49:49.120 morning, my

00:49:49.660 mom calls and

00:49:51.380 she's like,

00:49:51.840 oh no, you

00:49:52.260 lost your

00:49:52.700 wallet.

00:49:53.740 Oh, you

00:49:54.140 lost that

00:49:54.620 Sam's card.

00:49:56.340 She wasn't

00:49:57.140 concerned about

00:49:57.860 my driver's

00:49:58.580 license or

00:49:59.540 my debit

00:49:59.980 card or my

00:50:00.720 credit card.

00:50:01.700 She was

00:50:02.360 concerned about

00:50:02.940 that Sam's

00:50:03.780 hitter, that

00:50:04.600 Sam's club 0.54

00:50:05.320 card.

00:50:06.580 Anyway, it's

00:50:07.340 always been a

00:50:07.780 funny story we

00:50:08.480 tell.

00:50:09.260 Just wanted to

00:50:09.700 share it with

00:50:10.140 you guys.

00:50:10.880 Take care.

00:50:11.440 Gang,

00:50:11.680 gang,

00:50:11.980 partner.

00:50:13.380 Gang,

00:50:13.940 gang, man.

00:50:15.500 Dude, that's

00:50:16.300 hilarious.

00:50:16.900 That's such a

00:50:17.520 mom.

00:50:17.900 thing.

00:50:18.760 You lost

00:50:19.180 that Sam's

00:50:20.920 glove card.

00:50:24.580 Because that's

00:50:25.480 how moms 1.00

00:50:26.000 think.

00:50:26.400 They're

00:50:26.480 thinking, man,

00:50:27.180 how is he

00:50:27.820 going to get 0.99

00:50:28.280 76 fucking 1.00

00:50:29.940 cans of 1.00

00:50:30.800 grilled okra?

00:50:33.680 You know?

00:50:34.460 How is he

00:50:34.960 going to get

00:50:35.340 45, you

00:50:36.960 know, pieces

00:50:38.440 of squash

00:50:39.780 that are

00:50:40.260 carved in

00:50:40.780 statues of

00:50:42.780 Lance Armstrong?

00:50:44.340 Where else

00:50:44.780 is he going

00:50:45.220 to be able

00:50:45.580 to do

00:50:46.280 that?

00:50:47.920 Only at

00:50:48.440 Sam's

00:50:48.900 club, right?

00:50:49.260 They used

00:50:49.440 to have

00:50:49.600 live animals

00:50:50.220 at the

00:50:50.440 one over

00:50:50.860 in Vermilion

00:50:53.320 Paris.

00:50:53.800 They had

00:50:54.020 live animals

00:50:55.160 at the

00:50:55.460 Sam's

00:50:55.780 club.

00:50:56.100 So you

00:50:56.240 could get 1.00

00:50:56.500 a fucking 1.00

00:50:56.860 carton of 1.00

00:50:57.340 eggs and

00:50:57.720 then pick

00:50:58.540 up the

00:50:58.820 mother that

00:50:59.240 made them.

00:50:59.880 You know,

00:51:00.100 you could

00:51:00.280 roll right

00:51:00.820 out of

00:51:01.100 there.

00:51:01.600 Beautiful

00:51:01.900 times down

00:51:02.560 there.

00:51:04.200 Thank you

00:51:04.800 for calling

00:51:05.200 them, man.

00:51:05.660 Nice to

00:51:05.980 hear a call

00:51:06.360 from

00:51:06.520 Louisiana,

00:51:07.320 dude.

00:51:08.160 Beautiful

00:51:08.560 place.

00:51:09.940 Let's

00:51:10.260 take

00:51:10.400 another

00:51:10.620 call

00:51:10.920 here.

00:51:11.200 985-664-9503.

00:51:14.060 The last

00:51:14.820 show here

00:51:15.240 in the

00:51:15.500 studio.

00:51:19.580 That's

00:51:19.980 kind of

00:51:20.200 almost a

00:51:20.600 little bit

00:51:20.880 like leaving

00:51:21.440 a place.

00:51:22.900 It's like

00:51:23.120 leaving a

00:51:23.580 womb a

00:51:24.060 little bit.

00:51:25.820 You know,

00:51:26.300 I know

00:51:26.540 these walls.

00:51:27.200 I know

00:51:27.400 this place.

00:51:28.620 I know

00:51:29.140 how my

00:51:29.420 voice sounds

00:51:30.020 in here.

00:51:32.700 You know,

00:51:33.200 I know

00:51:33.380 my lifeline.

00:51:35.200 Nick Davis,

00:51:35.920 the producer,

00:51:36.840 premature

00:51:37.240 Nick.

00:51:37.680 you know,

00:51:38.700 he showed

00:51:39.020 up early.

00:51:40.840 And he's

00:51:41.280 been working

00:51:41.600 hard ever

00:51:42.120 since,

00:51:42.720 bro.

00:51:45.780 And it's

00:51:47.560 kind of like

00:51:48.000 that, you

00:51:48.320 know, when

00:51:48.540 you leave to

00:51:49.020 a new

00:51:49.260 place.

00:51:51.080 Because I

00:51:51.540 don't know

00:51:51.740 what it's

00:51:51.960 going to be.

00:51:52.040 I'm leaving.

00:51:52.760 I'm out of

00:51:53.060 town for

00:51:53.320 three weeks.

00:51:53.860 And when I

00:51:54.160 get back, 0.50

00:51:54.800 we're going

00:51:55.400 to be rocking

00:51:55.860 and rolling.

00:51:57.000 And it is

00:51:57.620 pretty crazy

00:51:58.080 to go back

00:51:58.520 to the guy's

00:51:58.980 question.

00:51:59.360 It's crazy

00:51:59.740 now to be

00:52:00.160 going to

00:52:00.600 like Australia

00:52:01.280 to do

00:52:01.660 stand-up

00:52:02.120 shows.

00:52:05.780 But I

00:52:06.300 feel like

00:52:06.960 it's not

00:52:07.520 fake.

00:52:09.260 I feel like

00:52:09.820 I'm bringing

00:52:10.260 a product

00:52:10.760 that is

00:52:11.260 good.

00:52:12.620 You know,

00:52:13.080 I think

00:52:13.440 what would

00:52:13.660 be scary

00:52:14.100 would be

00:52:14.420 going

00:52:14.600 somewhere

00:52:14.940 and not

00:52:15.360 being able

00:52:15.780 to do

00:52:16.160 a good

00:52:16.480 show or

00:52:16.900 a show

00:52:17.220 that I

00:52:17.500 think people

00:52:18.060 are going

00:52:18.820 to get

00:52:19.020 their money's

00:52:19.480 worth for.

00:52:20.500 So that's

00:52:20.860 what I

00:52:21.080 hope to do.

00:52:22.300 A lot of

00:52:22.900 people have

00:52:23.160 been asking

00:52:23.460 about meet

00:52:24.000 and greets

00:52:24.360 after shows

00:52:25.040 as well.

00:52:26.140 A lot of

00:52:26.520 the shows

00:52:27.080 don't have

00:52:27.520 them.

00:52:27.820 I'm going

00:52:28.100 to try

00:52:28.280 to do

00:52:28.480 as many

00:52:28.820 as I

00:52:29.140 can.

00:52:30.220 After

00:52:30.580 early shows

00:52:31.180 it's

00:52:31.380 harder

00:52:31.720 because we

00:52:32.340 got to

00:52:32.560 do the

00:52:32.800 late shows

00:52:33.300 but after

00:52:34.140 late shows

00:52:34.640 I'm just

00:52:34.920 going to

00:52:35.080 try to

00:52:35.300 do as

00:52:35.560 many people

00:52:36.860 as I

00:52:37.220 can.

00:52:38.240 So they'll

00:52:38.540 usually just

00:52:38.940 announce it

00:52:39.400 at the end

00:52:39.700 of the show.

00:52:42.040 And thank

00:52:42.780 you guys so

00:52:43.240 much for all

00:52:43.720 the people

00:52:44.380 supporting.

00:52:46.100 And the

00:52:46.540 tickets and

00:52:46.940 stuff, it's

00:52:47.200 crazy man.

00:52:47.760 I can't even 0.99

00:52:48.220 you know,

00:52:50.400 it's like my

00:52:50.760 dreams are

00:52:51.160 kind of coming

00:52:51.640 true.

00:52:53.780 And we can

00:52:54.340 think about that

00:52:54.820 a different time.

00:52:55.380 I want to hear

00:52:55.680 more about these

00:52:56.200 mothers man.

00:52:56.860 That sounds

00:52:57.280 club dude, 1.00

00:52:58.040 that's fucking 1.00

00:52:58.480 wild. 0.99

00:52:59.080 That rock

00:52:59.520 tumbler.

00:53:00.020 Yo Theo,

00:53:01.820 what's up man?

00:53:02.580 It's Mike

00:53:03.100 from Northern

00:53:03.800 Virginia,

00:53:04.660 which most

00:53:05.360 people know

00:53:05.960 as the

00:53:06.760 less racist

00:53:08.020 part of the

00:53:08.640 state up

00:53:09.260 here outside

00:53:10.060 D.C.

00:53:10.640 in the good

00:53:11.180 old

00:53:11.360 Palatric

00:53:11.960 belt.

00:53:13.060 Oh yeah,

00:53:13.380 up there in

00:53:13.700 Nova dude.

00:53:16.440 Yeah,

00:53:17.420 let's hear

00:53:17.800 more.

00:53:18.520 Anyway man,

00:53:20.020 Mother's Day

00:53:20.920 hasn't always

00:53:21.700 been easy.

00:53:22.580 I lost my

00:53:23.360 mom to

00:53:23.860 cancer 15

00:53:24.680 years ago

00:53:25.280 when I was

00:53:26.120 18,

00:53:27.080 actually the

00:53:27.880 day before

00:53:28.460 I left for

00:53:29.000 college.

00:53:29.840 I

00:53:30.020 just want

00:53:35.180 to take a

00:53:35.500 little moment

00:53:35.860 of silence

00:53:36.240 for her

00:53:36.660 man.

00:53:37.000 Let's hear

00:53:37.220 the rest

00:53:37.460 of your

00:53:37.620 call.

00:53:38.300 As you

00:53:38.880 know,

00:53:39.440 losing a

00:53:40.140 parent young

00:53:41.140 can have a

00:53:42.080 long standing

00:53:42.580 effect on

00:53:43.160 you.

00:53:43.980 For a lot

00:53:44.680 of years,

00:53:45.440 especially on

00:53:46.000 Mother's Day,

00:53:46.680 I was,

00:53:47.100 I think,

00:53:47.920 bitter and

00:53:48.440 resentful.

00:53:49.360 But as I

00:53:49.760 get older,

00:53:50.520 I still miss

00:53:51.160 her the same,

00:53:51.840 but I've

00:53:52.280 tried to

00:53:52.560 change my

00:53:52.940 mindset,

00:53:53.580 really working

00:53:54.360 on that.

00:53:55.340 I tried to

00:53:55.860 think about

00:53:56.220 the joy and

00:53:56.700 happiness she

00:53:57.340 brought to me

00:53:58.040 instead of

00:53:58.460 just being

00:53:58.880 gone.

00:53:59.280 Just thinking

00:54:00.080 about her

00:54:00.440 voice and

00:54:00.840 her smile

00:54:01.400 and her

00:54:02.040 kindness towards

00:54:02.740 others makes

00:54:03.280 me happy.

00:54:04.340 To me,

00:54:04.820 she set the

00:54:05.300 bar for how

00:54:05.720 we're supposed

00:54:06.000 to treat

00:54:06.320 others and

00:54:06.740 I'm constantly

00:54:07.300 working on

00:54:08.100 imitating that

00:54:09.320 in my own

00:54:09.780 life.

00:54:10.720 And now I'm

00:54:11.780 seeing all the

00:54:12.180 other moms in 0.99

00:54:12.780 my life who

00:54:13.260 supported me and

00:54:14.520 I'm thankful for

00:54:15.140 them as well and

00:54:15.820 appreciate the

00:54:16.400 impact they've

00:54:16.920 had on me.

00:54:17.520 amen, man.

00:54:19.220 That's a great

00:54:19.660 message.

00:54:21.280 You know,

00:54:21.760 it's funny,

00:54:24.560 your blueprint,

00:54:26.500 this is just my

00:54:27.700 one cent,

00:54:31.200 your blueprint for

00:54:32.180 recognizing those

00:54:32.920 other mothers

00:54:33.400 probably wouldn't

00:54:33.860 be there if your

00:54:34.460 mother hadn't

00:54:34.900 really created

00:54:35.560 it.

00:54:35.900 it's just so

00:54:44.300 amazing that your

00:54:44.980 mother did the

00:54:45.580 work that she

00:54:46.060 did where you're

00:54:46.620 able to still

00:54:47.240 see that,

00:54:49.200 where you're

00:54:49.480 able to recognize

00:54:50.040 it in other

00:54:50.520 people.

00:54:50.900 man, it's so

00:54:54.000 powerful, dude.

00:54:54.800 It's so

00:54:55.160 powerful.

00:54:57.360 Like, because I

00:54:57.940 think about this,

00:54:58.620 I think, so say,

00:54:59.320 you know, your

00:54:59.640 mother passed and

00:55:01.220 then years later,

00:55:02.100 you know, you

00:55:02.520 have an experience

00:55:03.340 with a woman, a

00:55:04.980 mother, you know,

00:55:05.700 a motherly moment

00:55:06.480 and you tell her,

00:55:08.300 wow, you know,

00:55:08.840 hey, I just want to

00:55:09.400 let you know, you

00:55:09.820 know, my mother

00:55:10.200 passed away when I

00:55:10.900 was young and,

00:55:12.020 you know, whatever

00:55:13.400 you did or said or

00:55:14.900 it just really,

00:55:17.200 you know, it hit me

00:55:18.580 in that place where

00:55:19.160 only my mother could

00:55:19.980 hit me.

00:55:20.900 man, that's

00:55:23.040 powerful.

00:55:23.620 That's powerful for

00:55:24.200 you, that's powerful

00:55:24.680 for that person

00:55:25.380 because then that

00:55:27.260 person knows that

00:55:28.060 they, then they

00:55:29.560 realize an effect

00:55:30.360 they can have on

00:55:30.980 somebody by doing

00:55:33.340 whatever that action

00:55:34.180 was, something

00:55:34.720 joyous, you know,

00:55:35.640 something loving,

00:55:37.180 something, man,

00:55:38.360 that's powerful,

00:55:39.040 you know.

00:55:41.160 You know, I'm

00:55:41.840 amazed really by the

00:55:42.860 power of connection

00:55:44.540 a lot of times.

00:55:45.960 I'm really amazed

00:55:46.820 by it and maybe I'm

00:55:47.760 late to the game,

00:55:48.560 maybe people have

00:55:49.160 been unamazed by it

00:55:50.120 forever.

00:55:51.720 But I'm a late

00:55:52.540 bloomer.

00:55:55.080 You know, it just

00:55:55.800 took me a long time

00:55:56.480 to get out of my

00:55:57.040 shell in some ways

00:55:58.000 and I'm still halfway,

00:55:59.520 you know, I'm still

00:55:59.920 paying rent on that

00:56:00.820 man, Jim, man, man.

00:56:02.060 Um, but thank you for

00:56:06.240 calling and sharing the

00:56:06.880 story about your

00:56:07.460 mother and I'm sure

00:56:09.680 that she's thinking

00:56:13.680 of you every day, man.

00:56:16.280 Let's hear more.

00:56:17.780 Yo, Theo, this is

00:56:19.840 anonymous and witness

00:56:22.160 protection in Kentucky.

00:56:24.520 Gang, gang, dude, and

00:56:25.840 this, I didn't know this

00:56:26.960 call was coming in.

00:56:27.580 Man, I've always

00:56:28.180 wanted a call like

00:56:28.980 this to come in, man.

00:56:30.680 And this is witness

00:56:32.100 protection program

00:56:33.180 calling.

00:56:33.660 So I'm gonna throw my

00:56:34.220 hat back on just to,

00:56:36.040 just to be a part of

00:56:37.160 what's going on right

00:56:38.000 now.

00:56:38.600 Back in the 80s, my

00:56:40.240 mom had a technique in 1.00

00:56:42.120 her 77 Monte Carlo when

00:56:44.000 I was a teenager, like

00:56:45.040 14, 15 years old.

00:56:46.760 I'd smart off to her on

00:56:48.640 Mother's Day and she

00:56:49.700 would slam on the

00:56:50.560 brakes and then backhand 0.67

00:56:52.300 me as my face was

00:56:53.560 flying forward.

00:56:54.380 So it really smacked

00:56:55.840 me in the mouth hard.

00:56:57.920 Dang, dog. 0.99

00:56:59.300 Your mother sounds like 0.81

00:57:00.100 Gary Payton, bro.

00:57:01.240 That's a, you know, 1.00

00:57:02.780 she sounds like fucking 1.00

00:57:04.040 pistol pissed off 1.00

00:57:05.280 Maravich, dude.

00:57:06.280 She sound like she's got

00:57:07.020 that, you know,

00:57:09.140 that dexterity.

00:57:11.280 Onward.

00:57:12.140 I love her for that.

00:57:13.960 Made me a better man.

00:57:15.640 Gang, gang.

00:57:17.280 Gang, gang, man.

00:57:19.760 Yeah, you know, it's funny.

00:57:20.760 My mother used to hit me 0.98

00:57:21.500 a lot when I was young.

00:57:22.500 She didn't have any

00:57:23.040 choice.

00:57:23.360 She was the only parent.

00:57:24.380 She didn't have a choice.

00:57:26.860 What, you gonna not

00:57:27.500 hit some kid?

00:57:28.020 You got four kids.

00:57:28.840 Somebody about to get 1.00

00:57:29.380 their ass beat. 1.00

00:57:31.040 Somebody needs to. 0.99

00:57:33.620 You know, especially

00:57:34.740 when the mom's by

00:57:35.360 themselves, they got the

00:57:36.020 father's job too.

00:57:38.240 And they can't do it

00:57:39.280 all.

00:57:40.960 But, you know, it's funny

00:57:41.800 now, older, I don't

00:57:42.600 remember those things.

00:57:44.260 And some of them I

00:57:44.940 choose not to remember.

00:57:47.300 You know, I choose not

00:57:48.180 to remember my mother as

00:57:49.160 a struggling woman who 0.84

00:57:50.220 couldn't keep it

00:57:51.560 together and who took

00:57:53.860 some aggression out

00:57:54.540 on her children.

00:57:55.480 Because for one, it was

00:57:56.320 good for me.

00:57:58.320 And two, I don't want to

00:58:01.300 remember my mother that

00:58:02.560 way.

00:58:03.920 You know, now sometimes it

00:58:05.200 creeps in and I do think

00:58:06.460 of her that way and I hold

00:58:07.340 grudges.

00:58:08.140 But in the end, it's my

00:58:09.840 choice.

00:58:10.700 And I choose to try and

00:58:11.820 remember her differently.

00:58:13.080 These days.

00:58:14.200 I didn't always.

00:58:15.520 I didn't even when this

00:58:16.460 podcast started.

00:58:17.280 But these days, I choose

00:58:19.080 to try and remember my

00:58:20.360 mother differently. 1.00

00:58:24.100 You know, I just choose

00:58:25.140 to try and remember her

00:58:26.080 as a woman that needs

00:58:27.020 love.

00:58:29.160 You know, and

00:58:30.520 and that I don't want to

00:58:34.020 see struggle because I

00:58:34.980 know at the core of my

00:58:36.320 mother, no matter what 0.97

00:58:38.940 she had to do, spank us 1.00

00:58:40.520 or whatever, I know that

00:58:43.680 at the very core of her,

00:58:44.680 she never, ever wanted us

00:58:46.680 to see us struggle.

00:58:49.480 And she did whatever her

00:58:51.380 chart was, whatever her

00:58:53.620 path was to try and

00:58:54.720 navigate that.

00:59:00.740 That's what she did.

00:59:02.780 And so, you know, and

00:59:03.560 that's where the choice is

00:59:04.500 mine.

00:59:04.880 It's like I can be upset

00:59:05.840 sometimes at some of the

00:59:08.020 things and the

00:59:08.720 disconnection and, you

00:59:12.420 know, why I struggle in

00:59:13.400 relationships now because I

00:59:14.500 don't have a, you know,

00:59:15.420 it's hard for me to trust

00:59:16.420 women at a core level. 0.88

00:59:18.160 But also then there's

00:59:19.300 another thing where it's

00:59:20.280 like I can just choose to

00:59:21.420 not discuss any of that

00:59:22.760 with my mother.

00:59:24.220 I can choose to take that

00:59:25.460 up with myself.

00:59:29.240 I mean, some stuff I

00:59:30.300 discuss with her, but I

00:59:31.160 can just choose to look at

00:59:32.220 her differently and just

00:59:33.080 try to love her because in

00:59:34.180 the end, it helps me get

00:59:36.300 to a place where I just

00:59:38.360 feel better than the end

00:59:40.780 of that road of trying to

00:59:42.100 just be loving feels

00:59:44.840 better than the end of

00:59:47.040 the other road of just

00:59:49.020 trying to hold that

00:59:49.680 grudge forever and not

00:59:50.680 learn from it or learn

00:59:54.080 about it.

00:59:55.340 But thank you for the

00:59:56.240 call, man.

00:59:57.280 Yeah, moms had some 1.00

00:59:58.140 tricks up their sleeve,

00:59:59.280 man, and not up their 0.98

01:00:00.300 sleeve, that freaking 0.98

01:00:01.080 open-handed. 0.98

01:00:02.220 That backhand, baby, you

01:00:03.580 feel me?

01:00:04.920 That backhand, man.

01:00:06.340 Hey, Theo, this is Dane

01:00:08.420 from Springfield, Missouri,

01:00:09.660 man.

01:00:09.940 Gang, gang.

01:00:10.900 What's up, Dane from

01:00:11.620 Springfield?

01:00:12.280 That's a beautiful area up

01:00:13.180 there in Missouri.

01:00:14.560 Missouri.

01:00:15.460 That's what a lot of the

01:00:16.200 older men up there call it

01:00:17.220 Missouri.

01:00:18.500 Up there in Missouri.

01:00:20.260 Onward.

01:00:20.980 Listen, talking about moms,

01:00:23.800 my mom went to college and

01:00:26.240 went to master's degree once

01:00:28.080 we were all, all three of us

01:00:29.960 went to school and she was a

01:00:31.640 speech pathologist.

01:00:32.680 So one time, her favorite

01:00:34.400 patient, his favorite band

01:00:36.500 was Coldplay and she went 1.00

01:00:37.600 out of her way to email the

01:00:39.320 tour manager, told him the

01:00:41.680 whole story and the whole

01:00:42.740 business and worked her

01:00:44.460 magic and the tour manager

01:00:46.760 paid for the free concert

01:00:48.620 tickets.

01:00:49.400 The kid and his girlfriend

01:00:50.480 got to go backstage and meet

01:00:51.900 Chris Martin and the entire

01:00:53.220 band.

01:00:53.940 Wow.

01:00:54.500 That was like the best man

01:00:55.960 in that kid's life and I

01:00:57.900 mean, that was something

01:00:59.980 really cool my mom did and I

01:01:01.340 thought that was cool.

01:01:02.160 So she, she passed away in

01:01:04.860 2012 and, you know, it's

01:01:07.900 rough for some of us out

01:01:10.680 there, you know, no moms and 0.99

01:01:12.120 all that.

01:01:12.600 But anyway, listen, man, I

01:01:14.240 really appreciate everything

01:01:15.000 you do and big fan of the

01:01:17.560 show, man.

01:01:18.400 Gang, gang.

01:01:19.880 Gang, gang, man.

01:01:21.380 Well, she's alive right now,

01:01:22.820 man.

01:01:23.680 You know, she's alive right now

01:01:24.860 and that's, you know, she's

01:01:26.640 alive right now and that's the

01:01:27.840 kind of woman she was.

01:01:29.980 You know, it's interesting

01:01:30.800 how a moment or two can

01:01:31.920 really define somebody.

01:01:34.460 And it's interesting how we

01:01:35.480 have a lot of time in our

01:01:36.400 life to really make that

01:01:37.300 moment.

01:01:39.460 You know, your mother

01:01:40.120 probably did a lot of other

01:01:41.100 things, but you chose to tell

01:01:42.240 that moment where she was

01:01:43.460 helping somebody else, not

01:01:44.920 even you.

01:01:46.320 That's pretty powerful.

01:01:48.880 Yeah, man.

01:01:49.500 Well, she's still alive right

01:01:50.540 here right now with that

01:01:51.440 story.

01:01:52.620 That's why I love stories,

01:01:53.860 man.

01:01:53.960 They keep people alive, you

01:01:55.260 know.

01:01:55.420 And that's why I think

01:01:59.100 they've been around since the

01:01:59.960 beginning of time.

01:02:03.000 Stories from mouth to mouth,

01:02:04.320 you know, from mouth to ear.

01:02:05.860 Because if you do videotape,

01:02:07.180 think about it.

01:02:08.220 The waters come, baby.

01:02:10.280 Or whatever, the electricity.

01:02:12.620 You know.

01:02:14.240 They start Voldemorting and the

01:02:16.060 Lord starts going at it,

01:02:17.340 sword fighting.

01:02:18.660 And the clouds open up.

01:02:20.560 Or something goes awry at the

01:02:22.140 Mars factory and too many

01:02:23.320 skittles fly. 1.00

01:02:23.980 Everybody drown in fucking 1.00

01:02:25.000 you know, rainbow sugar 1.00

01:02:27.700 pieces. 0.99

01:02:29.960 All this electronic shit's 0.99

01:02:31.500 in and go. 0.99

01:02:31.960 All we can have is just

01:02:33.020 the mouth to ear.

01:02:35.360 So thank you for giving us

01:02:36.600 that.

01:02:37.360 Let's take one more call.

01:02:39.720 Here we go.

01:02:41.100 Hey, Theo.

01:02:41.940 Happy Mother's Day.

01:02:42.920 It's Alex in Houston.

01:02:44.820 I'll tell you a little story

01:02:45.740 about when I was in high

01:02:47.520 school.

01:02:48.040 One morning in particular

01:02:49.400 when I was 16 years old,

01:02:51.500 I felt this tickling sensation

01:02:53.160 over my face.

01:02:53.960 Oh, that's an uncle, dude.

01:02:55.560 This is about mothers. 1.00

01:02:57.720 And that was a bad joke.

01:02:59.080 Thank you for calling, Alex.

01:03:00.160 Let's hear more.

01:03:02.300 And when I opened my eyes,

01:03:04.040 my mom was dangling with 0.64

01:03:05.280 pink G-string over my face.

01:03:07.620 And, well, I guess my

01:03:09.900 girlfriend had spent the 1.00

01:03:10.840 weekend and she had left that

01:03:11.880 in the bed.

01:03:12.300 And the only thing she said

01:03:14.100 was, Alex, you need to

01:03:15.960 respect a woman's body. 0.91

01:03:17.720 And I guess I've been trying

01:03:18.960 my best ever since.

01:03:20.640 But, anyway, my mom's my

01:03:22.020 hero.

01:03:22.460 She immigrated us to America

01:03:25.180 legally from Taiwan.

01:03:27.280 And she's turning 60 at the 0.88

01:03:28.640 end of the month.

01:03:29.480 And it's Mother's Day this

01:03:30.520 weekend.

01:03:30.980 And she never got to get her 0.99

01:03:32.460 graduation ring when she

01:03:34.420 graduated from Michigan

01:03:35.400 State.

01:03:35.740 So, I'm going to buy her

01:03:37.880 that graduation ring that's

01:03:39.620 dated for $95 this year.

01:03:42.180 I love her.

01:03:43.420 And thanks for doing the

01:03:44.880 show.

01:03:45.400 Big fan.

01:03:46.500 Later.

01:03:47.740 Gang, bro.

01:03:48.820 That's awesome, man.

01:03:49.820 That's a good story, dude.

01:03:51.240 You're going to get her that

01:03:52.000 piece, that jewelry.

01:03:53.780 That's touching, man.

01:03:55.800 Yeah, that's exciting.

01:03:56.900 It's exciting to think.

01:03:57.840 You know, I just sent my

01:03:58.400 mother some flowers, but

01:03:59.320 maybe I can learn more about

01:04:00.740 her in the next year and

01:04:03.120 think of something that

01:04:03.640 could be a little more

01:04:04.220 sentimental.

01:04:04.620 You know, get her something

01:04:06.420 maybe something she really,

01:04:08.100 really has always wanted.

01:04:10.700 You know, there's something

01:04:11.380 about my mother.

01:04:11.900 She doesn't like to tell you

01:04:12.700 some of those things she's

01:04:13.400 always wanted, you know.

01:04:14.440 She has like a, I don't

01:04:16.800 know, she feels like she

01:04:17.960 doesn't want to burden

01:04:18.680 anybody.

01:04:20.460 But that's beautiful, man.

01:04:22.300 Congratulations.

01:04:23.300 And it sounds like you're

01:04:24.020 very proud of your mom.

01:04:26.580 Yo, Theo, what up?

01:04:28.440 This is Greg from

01:04:29.380 Texas.

01:04:31.180 What up from Tejas?

01:04:32.320 Let's hear it.

01:04:32.780 Pop up.

01:04:33.140 What's going on, Greg?

01:04:34.620 Very close to that stray

01:04:35.480 animal belt down there

01:04:36.400 in Louisiana.

01:04:38.960 Yeah, yeah, man.

01:04:40.000 That stray animal, dude.

01:04:41.160 A lot of animals used to

01:04:42.360 roam, boy.

01:04:44.040 Roam, baby.

01:04:46.380 Mice passing through like

01:04:47.640 bison in the night.

01:04:49.440 Onward.

01:04:50.040 Got a story about my mom.

01:04:52.400 When I was in eighth grade

01:04:53.440 in PE, I got a spanking

01:04:54.640 about my coach for

01:04:55.960 something that was

01:04:56.600 irrelevant. 0.99

01:04:57.500 Damn, it sounds sexy out 0.99

01:04:58.680 here in Hollywood. 0.99

01:04:59.320 Did you tell some of these

01:05:00.060 executive males that?

01:05:01.180 God, man, boy. 0.99

01:05:03.840 They'll put you in a damn 1.00

01:05:04.800 movie at their house. 1.00

01:05:07.360 Let's hear more.

01:05:08.500 Which, for an eighth grader,

01:05:09.400 that feels a little bit

01:05:10.460 homoerotic.

01:05:11.600 Yeah, that is, boy.

01:05:13.880 Any spankings past the

01:05:15.020 fifth grade is real

01:05:16.080 questionable.

01:05:17.360 So I went home and told my

01:05:18.500 mom.

01:05:19.600 My mom decided to go back 0.89

01:05:20.800 up there.

01:05:21.960 And what she told him was,

01:05:24.180 if you ever touch my son

01:05:25.600 again, I'm going to give you 1.00

01:05:26.600 an ass whoop and you will 1.00

01:05:27.540 never forget. 0.99

01:05:28.420 And that sounds like 1.00

01:05:29.660 some Louisiana type shit. 1.00

01:05:31.820 Something that your mom 1.00

01:05:32.600 might do. 1.00

01:05:33.600 Well, sometimes that shit 1.00

01:05:34.260 leaks over the border. 1.00

01:05:35.520 You know, because they

01:05:35.980 don't have a wall down

01:05:36.780 there.

01:05:37.080 Let's hear more.

01:05:38.440 Anyways, gang gang.

01:05:40.880 Gang gang, man.

01:05:42.820 Yeah, moms will step up 1.00

01:05:44.040 for us and cheer us on

01:05:45.060 sometimes.

01:05:46.220 You know, sometimes they

01:05:46.980 show up.

01:05:49.040 You know, and it's easier

01:05:49.860 for, you know, it has been

01:05:51.240 easier for me to remember

01:05:52.060 times when my mom didn't

01:05:53.080 show up.

01:05:53.540 But, you know, when I think

01:05:55.620 about when I really, when I

01:05:57.620 take that edge off of

01:05:58.480 myself and just try and

01:05:59.560 find gratitude for things

01:06:01.100 my mom did, it's a little

01:06:02.100 bit easier to think of the

01:06:03.140 times she did.

01:06:06.160 You know, and a lot of it

01:06:07.380 is just hearing other

01:06:08.060 people tell their stories.

01:06:10.260 You know, we had an

01:06:11.180 Astro van.

01:06:12.440 You know, my mom used to

01:06:13.240 throw, I just remembered

01:06:14.020 my birthday parties at the

01:06:15.420 roller rink.

01:06:17.980 And man, we always had the

01:06:18.840 best cake.

01:06:19.340 She always went across the

01:06:20.280 lake to get the cake to

01:06:21.160 New Orleans.

01:06:22.320 And everybody else got some

01:06:23.460 local cake and we got the

01:06:24.740 special, this nice cake

01:06:26.340 from over there.

01:06:27.020 She would get it every

01:06:28.180 time because she knew we

01:06:29.000 liked it.

01:06:31.380 You know, they don't get a

01:06:32.460 lot of thanks.

01:06:34.300 Or maybe they do.

01:06:35.540 And maybe I'm just

01:06:36.240 speaking from my own life.

01:06:40.040 You know, and maybe

01:06:40.740 sometimes I don't want to

01:06:41.540 thank my mother or there's

01:06:42.600 something inside of me that

01:06:43.500 doesn't want to thank people

01:06:44.900 that doesn't want to, you

01:06:48.420 know, that's, and that's

01:06:51.160 not the good part of me.

01:06:52.000 I've got to go against that.

01:06:53.160 Whatever that thing inside of

01:06:54.160 me says, I'm going to, I'm

01:06:54.940 not going to call.

01:06:55.640 I'm not going to say this.

01:06:56.660 I'm not, that is the, that's

01:06:58.260 the dark arts.

01:07:01.280 That's the thing that

01:07:02.100 doesn't want you to do

01:07:03.240 well or to be well or to

01:07:04.480 feel well or to make others

01:07:06.040 feel well.

01:07:07.580 And you've got to step over

01:07:09.020 that thing.

01:07:12.880 And you've got to take

01:07:13.700 control.

01:07:17.720 And also, I don't know what

01:07:18.800 I'm talking about.

01:07:19.560 So, there's all of that in

01:07:22.400 there.

01:07:23.480 We'll get to more Patreon

01:07:24.440 questions next week.

01:07:26.400 Dude, some great calls, man.

01:07:28.300 Thank you so much.

01:07:29.960 985-664-9503, as always, is

01:07:32.660 the hotline.

01:07:33.880 There are new shows going on

01:07:35.740 sale this week.

01:07:38.820 Some extra shows in a couple

01:07:40.460 of cities.

01:07:40.940 And I think those cities are

01:07:42.540 Atlanta.

01:07:44.580 Got a new show going on.

01:07:46.660 Let me see.

01:07:51.580 Yeah, Atlanta.

01:07:54.360 Oh, wait.

01:07:54.760 Austin.

01:07:56.120 Oklahoma City.

01:07:58.960 Sacramento.

01:08:00.500 And Atlanta.

01:08:01.580 I think all those places have

01:08:02.720 some new shows going on.

01:08:04.060 As well, tickets are available

01:08:05.080 now for Glasgow, Dublin,

01:08:06.660 Oslo, Stockholm,

01:08:08.240 London,

01:08:09.360 Manchester,

01:08:10.480 and Amsterdam.

01:08:10.960 That's what I am.

01:08:13.700 That's crazy.

01:08:14.400 I can't even believe that

01:08:15.580 we have to do all these

01:08:16.640 shows, but... 1.00

01:08:18.520 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:08:18.940 I have to go on stage in 1.00

01:08:20.220 Australia in a couple

01:08:21.120 weeks.

01:08:21.720 There won't be an episode

01:08:22.540 next week.

01:08:23.080 I'm taking a break.

01:08:24.420 So, there will be guest

01:08:25.600 episodes on the Thursdays,

01:08:27.280 but there won't be one

01:08:28.100 next weekend.

01:08:29.240 I'm just taking a break.

01:08:30.780 And this is a great place

01:08:32.500 to take a break.

01:08:34.660 And I'm going to miss

01:08:36.220 this studio, man.

01:08:36.980 I'm going to miss it.

01:08:40.960 You know, and I'm scared.

01:08:42.220 I don't know what's going

01:08:42.720 to happen at the new studio.

01:08:43.640 We got more room.

01:08:45.600 We got more.

01:08:46.480 But there will be more room,

01:08:47.340 I think, just for...

01:08:49.520 You know, when little Gianni

01:08:50.920 comes in to help with

01:08:51.760 the booking.

01:08:53.880 We got, you know,

01:08:55.180 the lovely finance lady. 1.00

01:08:56.720 We might get her, you know,

01:08:57.780 get her a desk or something. 0.99

01:08:59.100 Do something like that.

01:08:59.920 Get her a little art.

01:09:01.880 You know, we're going to

01:09:02.600 try to...

01:09:03.980 You know, we're going to

01:09:05.200 try to work on a cartoon

01:09:06.140 full-time with Papio.

01:09:07.440 But just thank you so much

01:09:12.880 for everything, man.

01:09:14.040 You guys have...

01:09:15.020 You know, this has been a blast.

01:09:17.080 This has been a real blast.

01:09:20.160 And we're going to do

01:09:22.000 a lot of good with the

01:09:22.980 momentum that we've created.

01:09:25.520 And I hope that you hold us

01:09:26.860 to that.

01:09:28.140 Because we're going to hold

01:09:29.040 ourselves to that as well.

01:09:31.380 We'll finish out this

01:09:32.260 Mother's Day episode

01:09:33.160 with the second half of that

01:09:35.940 Evan Bartels,

01:09:37.340 The Devil, God, and Me.

01:09:38.520 The link to his song

01:09:39.340 will be on the YouTube.

01:09:42.000 Thank everybody.

01:09:42.820 Thank you for the

01:09:43.280 Patreon support.

01:09:48.100 Yeah, and...

01:09:49.540 And even though you

01:09:50.480 called your mom yesterday,

01:09:51.420 you can call her again

01:09:52.180 if you want, you know.

01:09:54.660 And dads, too.

01:09:55.960 You know, I know

01:09:56.260 when we'll get into dads

01:09:57.180 and we'll do a special

01:09:57.960 section thing for them

01:09:59.020 sometime.

01:10:00.640 And next week,

01:10:01.420 I don't know what

01:10:01.780 we'll talk about.

01:10:02.240 Oh, we're not going to

01:10:03.000 talk about anything.

01:10:04.220 You guys be good to

01:10:05.040 yourselves, man.

01:10:05.640 You deserve it.

01:10:06.320 And thank you so much

01:10:07.060 for the wonderful calls.

01:10:08.780 Gang. 0.95

01:10:09.100 Oh, devil, I do have your name 0.99

01:10:16.960 Stuck in my ear 0.98

01:10:22.100 And I'm to blame

01:10:24.140 Oh, I beg you, let me be 0.54

01:10:31.100 Devil, you ignore my plea 0.97

01:10:39.360 The crown of lies I wear

01:10:45.400 Insane

01:10:46.720 What I would give to try again

01:10:53.860 Oh, death

01:11:00.180 Oh, death 0.85

01:11:03.220 You can come for me 0.97

01:11:06.720 Oh, death 0.98

01:11:19.180 Oh, death

01:11:21.180 But you can't come for me

01:11:23.380 I'm going to give you a sign-ar 0.91

01:11:35.900 From the studio, Nick

01:11:36.800 Well, Jesus

01:11:38.860 May I have your grace

01:11:41.180 Thank you, guys

01:11:41.260 Thank you, guys

01:11:42.260 Thank you, guys

01:11:44.260 Jesus

01:11:46.440 Jesus, though I hide my face

01:11:49.460 And will you cast my doubts away

01:11:56.880 Take my sins down to the grave

01:12:04.100 If there is hope

01:12:09.440 If there is hope, then let me see

01:12:11.360 There is life for those like me

01:12:19.240 Oh, death

01:12:25.620 Oh, death 0.85

01:12:27.500 You can come for me 0.97

01:12:32.100 Oh, death

01:12:42.440 Lord, but you can't come for me

01:12:48.360 Oh, death

01:12:58.980 You can come for me 0.97

01:13:05.500 Oh, death 0.98

01:13:15.500 Oh, death

01:13:17.500 Oh, you can't come for me

01:13:21.500 Oh, death

01:13:31.500 Oh, death

01:13:32.500 Oh, death 0.99

01:13:33.500 I will conquer thee 0.99

01:13:38.500 Oh, death 0.99

01:14:08.480 Thank you.

01:14:38.480 Thank you.

01:15:08.480 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:15:14.280 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.

01:15:18.640 So great.

01:15:19.240 Hey, sweetheart, here's a deal. 1.00

01:15:22.940 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 0.99

01:15:26.860 Jermaine. 0.99

01:15:28.300 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:15:31.940 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:15:34.040 Oh, no.

01:15:35.540 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.

01:15:38.780 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:15:42.960 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:15:47.140 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:15:52.480 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 13, 2019

Mother's Day ｜ This Past Weekend #198

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