On this episode of the Thursday edition of the podcast, we have a guest host, Brenden Schaub of The Fighter and the Kid. We talk about the dangers of long hair, and what it means to be an Asian.
00:01:51.960Next thing you know, one of your ears and cheeks ends up in a big sippy cup.
00:01:58.420And that's the dangers, I feel like, of having that long hair.
00:02:02.320So sometimes when I do see people with really long hair, you know, I'll say a soft prayer for them in my head or somewhere in the back of my head.
00:02:10.620You know, that's something that happens with me sometimes.
00:02:12.520Small prayers will go off in the back, in the back of my head.
00:02:39.240They got that beautiful, they have a beautiful Korean gentleman in there named Chin Yeun.
00:02:45.600And he is, I mean, he's Korean, you know.
00:02:50.240And he is, and Koreans, they seem very, you know, it seemed like they have secrets in them.
00:02:58.460And I've always felt that sometimes about a lot of Asian people.
00:03:01.620And this, this can be me being judgmental, but this is also just me exploring my thoughts here is that, you know, when you see an Asian, you kind of, for me, I get a sense of wonderment.
00:03:12.860You know, I got a sense of like, oh, peacefulness.
00:03:17.120Staring at two Asians or three Asians, it's almost like meditating for a minute.
00:03:21.400It's almost just as effective when you see the docileness, that docility that the heavens and that the Lord have packaged in, you know, to a Korean or to a Laotian.
00:03:35.600You see them just, oh, man, it's, it's pretty remarkable.
00:03:40.560You know, it's pretty remarkable sometimes to see, to see an Asian and to feel that inquisitiveness about what's going on in there.
00:03:50.720You know, and I've always wondered what it would be like to be Asian and what it feels like.
00:03:54.380And I actually got to talk to him about that a little bit.
00:03:56.780And it was pretty cool to get some of his take on there over at the Fighter and the Kid and to spend time with Brendan Schaub.
00:05:14.000You know, we have special types of gels and lotions on his ears and everything, and his whole skin and everything.
00:05:20.200You know, it's almost like, you know, like something, like they just dip him in some type of a fancy tub of damn fucking Guatemalan space chemicals or something in the morning and it just leaves him fresh.
00:05:36.000You know, it looks like he's the kind of dude that kind of washes his ass with coconut water.
00:05:40.840You know, he's a little bit fancy like that, but he was a fighter.
00:05:43.620So there's these two elements to him where he's, you know, coming in kind of France, kind of France, kind of French.
00:05:49.860And then he also has this element where, you know, he's been through the battles of men.
00:05:54.880But he wears a lot of fancy, different types of wool and shit, you know, fancy attire.
00:06:00.640It could be alpaca, it could be Mogadishu, you know, I'm not sure what types of furs and stuff he wears, but he, you know, he has a lot of fancy footwear and he might, you know, he might have cufflinks at his house.
00:06:16.060You know, somewhere in his closet, he might have a shelf that's starting to come out of the wall a little bit because it has so many cufflinks on it, heavy cufflinks.
00:06:23.140Because he has strong arms too, he could probably hold up some heavy cufflinks.
00:06:28.320But he's, you know, he's, he is one of, he's one half of the duo called The Fighter and The Kid.
00:15:20.260You know, not even A, B, C's, or D's, just, you know, uh, just a couple of just, just fucking nipples holding their own, you know, rooted in bone.
00:15:39.420And years later, he'd be like, well, did you know that I was gay when he, you know, because I think, you know, it seems like when you're a gay man, and we'll have one of, as soon as we can get some guests in here, we're going to start getting into some questions.
00:15:49.100And really being able to talk to people that are different than me so that I can, you know, have some experiences with these people and learn more about what it's like to really live in somebody else's shoes.
00:16:00.900But, he said, well, how did you know I was gay?
00:16:04.280I said, man, you know, I had an inkling.
00:16:56.200And when I blacked out, if I was at a party, I like to try and find the nicest car at the party.
00:17:03.520And if the keys went out, I like to take that bitch for a spin.
00:17:07.080You know, because I got the dark arts living down inside of me.
00:17:09.800I got the gesture of death down there juggling, uh, juggling, you know, juggling oranges in my soul.
00:17:16.220And he will, when I'm out, when I, when I shut down up top in the brainstem because of that liquor, he will take me for a ride.
00:17:26.020You know, he'll go out there and find the nicest car and take that bitch around the block.
00:17:29.460You know, because he wants to endanger me.
00:17:32.540But I remember being at this party and next thing I know, my buddy, um, you know, he was like kind of a defense kind of boy in our town.
00:17:41.820And he had a little bit of that DS, that Down syndrome.
00:17:45.340And I actually talked about this today on, um, on Brennan Schaub and the fighter and the kid.
00:17:49.940Um, my buddy heard that, you know, that I had gotten physical with this girl at this party, you know, and, and he said, you know, you hit, you hit this girl, you hit this girl, you know, and I have, look, I have no recollection of this at all.
00:18:05.340I'm not saying that I'm not, wasn't responsible for it.
00:18:08.880Um, but I mean, when I saw her the next day, she didn't have, you know, it wasn't like I had, she said, you pushed me down.
00:18:22.000It hurt to know that if I wasn't in control of myself, that the actions that could come out of me, um, but also what hurt was the dude that put me in, the dude that came and accosted me about it when he heard about it.
00:18:36.140Uh, he put me in that fucking, in a chokehold.
00:18:40.100And I don't know if you've ever been in a, in a chokehold of a fellow that has, um, Down syndrome or Down syndrome.
00:18:45.340I don't know what they're calling it these days, but he fucking put me in that, that hit a boy in that hard scarf, he called it.
00:18:53.280You know, he put that fucking hard scarf on me and I couldn't, man.
00:18:58.600But, um, but anyhow, uh, you know, I'm rambling, but I want to get into some of the calls that have come in.
00:19:04.400Uh, you know, but it is, when you hear about these sexual allegations and this and that, it does make you start to think in your own life.
00:19:11.240Where there are times when I was out of line, you know, where there are times when a girl wanted to leave my place and I was, you know, being wild.
00:19:27.200I'm not going to, you know, part of man is that, you know, that, that Samba, you know, you come, you come close.
00:19:35.400I'll back up, you back up, I'll come close and on and on and on and on until somebody's, you know, skeeting out or, you know, sloshing out of themselves.
00:20:12.620And there's some ladies out here who can, you know, who got, you know, who got women out there, you know, you know, who's feeding them soup out of their vagines and all of that.
00:20:27.760And they got women out there who are, you know, a lot of women have probably approached a lot of these men and tried to fuck their way up.
00:20:35.880And I think that's that missing element that needs to also be shared so that we can see that the cycle.
00:20:44.140Because a lot of times we've, you know, everybody wants to complete, you know, 70% of the equation, but they don't want to put in that 30% that doesn't tell their story fully.
00:20:53.160Or that won't, that doesn't fill in the whole realm.
00:20:57.620You know, and I think that this is, we got to start filling in the whole realm and being honest about what's going on across the board.
00:21:03.900But this episode, you know, we usually on Thursday, we do some follow-up.
00:21:07.380You know, we had a call that came in on the Monday morning episode.
00:22:54.700I'm performing this weekend, January 11th through the 14th at the Brea Improv.
00:22:58.580January 18th through 20th, I'm at the New Comedy Club in Jacksonville, Florida.
00:23:04.300February 8th through 11th, I'm at Harvey's in Portland, Oregon.
00:23:08.060And that's that Pacific Northwest up there where people are fucking drinking pine tree juice.
00:23:12.700And people are putting, you know, wearing flannel hats and shit and, you know, rolling their babies in fish tears and all of that shit.
00:23:26.600February 16th through the 18th, I'll be in La Jolla, California at the Comedy Store.
00:23:31.920February 22nd through the 24th, Indio, California, Fantasy Springs Casino.
00:23:36.060And also in March, I'll be in Tacoma, March 22nd and 23rd, I believe.
00:23:43.500And that, oh, no, March 15th, 16th and 17th.
00:23:46.560I'll be at Tacoma and Spokane at Spokane on the 17th.
00:23:52.020And those will be going up on Theovan.com slash tour.
00:23:56.480Okay, Andrew, we had that call come in and I want to I want to get some of you guys' responses for Andrew.
00:24:01.000I hope you're I hope you're listening, Andrew.
00:24:02.340Andrew, if you are if you're not Andrew and you're somebody that has had a similar circumstance, which, man, I think we can all, you know, relate in the way that we've wanted our spouse or someone we care about to be different.
00:25:38.480That's when you really learn who loves you.
00:25:40.300You know, when I'm, you know, in the gym and I got the abs going and I'm feeling great about myself and I got my medication, the milligrams are on point, you know, and I'm feeling, you know, vibrant and I got a new shirt.
00:25:53.580And, you know, yeah, oh, it's easy for, yeah, it's who, yeah, everybody loves me then.
00:26:01.820You know, but when I haven't brushed my teeth in three days because I'm not feeling good, you know, and I'm wearing this shirt that's wrinkled because, you know, I didn't feel like I put it in the dryer two days ago.
00:26:13.480But then I got depressed and fell asleep, took a nap or didn't, you know, take all my responsibilities and stay on top of my game.
00:26:22.420You know, and I'm wearing the same pants and belt because my belt's fucking broken and I tied it.
00:26:27.080And I've been jerking off so much I'm too weak to even untie that belt off of me around my waist so I got the same pants on because I ain't got enough strength in my arms because I'm skeeted out.
00:26:38.440My energy's all sprayed out of my wiener.
00:26:42.760When somebody still loves you then, you know, and that's a good call, man.
00:26:47.040I appreciate you saying that because that makes me think, you know, I needed to hear that.
00:26:50.440You know, because I certainly have somebody, you know, in my life who's loved me at, you know, at some of my toughest moments, you know, in moments where I felt like I was alone or moments where, moments where I probably would have been, had some fear or been, you know, I'll be real, been scared, you know, going into a surgery or going into, you know, going into a tough day.
00:27:20.440And they called or they checked in, you know.
00:27:23.880So that's a, you know, that's a good way to frame it up.
00:27:26.440Now, Andrew, I'm not trying to point any fingers at you or blame you.
00:29:32.400And I know I let that call play long, but that gentleman talks fast.
00:29:36.540You know, and that guy sounds pretty smart and he talks pretty quick.
00:29:39.960Like, you know, and any man that can put that many words together successfully in a row without, and it sounded like you even used the correct punctuation.
00:29:51.220You know, that's like when somebody, you know, that's like when a train's coming by and, you know, you want to touch one of the windows on it.
00:30:29.720Thank you for calling, Nathan from New Hampshire.
00:30:31.520And one of my good friends, Mike Boogie, is from over in New Hampshire.
00:30:35.920And that's a beautiful state that I've never been to, but that my luggage got lost one time on Southwest Airlines and my luggage went to New Hampshire.
00:30:45.480So a lot of my clothes that I'll wear, if you see me sometimes, you might look at him and be like, oh, he's been to New Hampshire.
00:30:51.500But that's just an illusion because my clothes have been.