This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 16, 2019


Riff Raff ｜ This Past Weekend #199

Topics
Blue Chew Skillshare offer Adam Sandler movies sleep schedule coupons dogs event in Florida sports players from the 80s and wave pool
Hosted by
Theo Von
Mentioned
Theo Vaughn Dude Riff Raff Deion Sanders John Sally Gang Adam Sandler Hillary Clinton The Dale D'Antoni Shine Norm Macdonald Suzuki Troopers Abraham Lincoln Riff Rambo Tony Gwynn Bo Jackson Simon Rex Macho Man Randy Savage Rice Krispie Treats Cool Ranch Doritos and 84 more
Mother's Day ｜ This Past Weekend #198 Chris Lilley ｜ This Past Weekend #200

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 7 minutes

Words per minute

202.72

Word count

13,583

Sentence count

2,007

Harmful content

Misogyny

57

sentences flagged

Toxicity

471

sentences flagged

Hate speech

35

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Riffraff Rif is a rapper, singer, songwriter, producer, and all-around entertainer. In this episode, he tells us about his life growing up in Los Angeles, how he got into music, and how he became one of the most sought after artists of all time.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
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00:02:44.640 Tonight, he will be at the Whiskey in West Hollywood, California.
00:02:49.000 And then tomorrow, May 17th, he'll be at the Monarch Theater in Phoenix, Arizona.
00:02:56.100 He has a new single out right now called Dreamland by Dale D'Antoni.
00:03:04.280 He's one of a kind.
00:03:06.480 He's that watermelon water moccasin.
00:03:09.880 And he is the most requested guest that we've had for this past weekend.
00:03:16.460 Ladies and gentlemen, riffraff.
00:03:20.420 Riffraff.
00:03:21.420 Riffraff.
00:03:22.420 Shine that light on me.
00:03:27.840 I'll sit and tell you my stories.
00:03:31.540 Shine that light on me.
00:03:36.540 It's been a long time, man.
00:03:39.680 Got a heavy coat of sports gloves.
00:03:41.480 Oh, dude, you look flossy, bro.
00:03:42.860 You look like a dude that...
00:03:44.240 Just got out of Rambo 7.
00:03:45.740 Oh, man.
00:03:46.820 Okeechobee 1 Kenobi out here, man.
00:03:48.740 You look like a guy...
00:03:49.940 If somebody had a cheat code in Double Dragon, bro.
00:03:53.220 And they got to use an ultimate character, man.
00:03:55.700 The Dale D'Antoni.
00:03:56.560 Amen, dude.
00:03:57.340 I unlocked it.
00:03:58.220 That million dollar mullet, Mr. Riffraff.
00:04:00.940 Jody Highroller here today.
00:04:02.120 Dale D'Antoni.
00:04:02.860 How are you, man?
00:04:03.460 Riff Rambo.
00:04:04.460 Oh, dude.
00:04:05.220 Who you been fighting, man?
00:04:07.320 Fighting life. 1.00
00:04:09.000 Putting it in a damn Lamborghini leg lock. 1.00
00:04:11.320 The dark arts, baby. 1.00
00:04:12.980 Dark arts after dark.
00:04:14.680 Dude, so I got turned on you from Simon Rex, man.
00:04:17.540 He's such a nice guy.
00:04:19.380 That's what you say?
00:04:20.320 Yeah.
00:04:20.700 Okay.
00:04:21.100 You don't know him.
00:04:23.640 No, I want the other side of the coin, man.
00:04:24.640 Oh, you want the dark side of the dirt.
00:04:27.040 I want the dark side of the dirt.
00:04:27.540 You want that dark dirt. 0.89
00:04:28.680 I want that dirty soil, brother, to lose you.
00:04:30.320 Well, when I first moved to L.A., before I moved, he was like, yeah, you should move
00:04:35.360 out.
00:04:35.680 You should move out of here.
00:04:36.400 You should move out of here.
00:04:37.120 Yeah.
00:04:37.740 I'm hyped up.
00:04:38.880 I'm like Hollywood life.
00:04:40.440 Getting ready.
00:04:41.500 You know what I mean?
00:04:42.280 You see the glitz and the glamour.
00:04:44.260 Putting on lotion.
00:04:46.440 Tanning lotion that makes you dark while you sleep.
00:04:49.140 Oh, yeah.
00:04:49.500 Get barricades your pores with, you see the butterscotch babes. 1.00
00:04:54.180 You think, you're thinking the Hollywood, you're thinking the stars are all aligned. 1.00
00:04:58.260 Oh, you got tits in your brain. 1.00
00:04:59.640 So I go, so he was all cool at first. 1.00
00:05:02.480 Once I finally went out there to live, he's like, yeah, you sure you could stay with me?
00:05:07.040 I'm like, okay, well, I mean, sure.
00:05:08.560 Well, I can find a place and everything.
00:05:10.980 You sure I'll hang out there?
00:05:12.120 You know what I mean?
00:05:12.480 So I'm like, okay, cool.
00:05:14.040 So I'm thinking like, you know.
00:05:15.260 You get there.
00:05:15.780 You had luggage with you or what?
00:05:17.080 I didn't even ask him how many rooms he had.
00:05:19.160 He had about seven or eight rooms because he stayed up in the hills.
00:05:21.760 I don't think he stayed anymore.
00:05:23.080 I've never been there, but I heard he was up there.
00:05:25.320 Yeah, he had a house up there in the hills.
00:05:27.400 And I think like a few houses down was Cindy Crawford as a house. 1.00
00:05:31.900 Ooh.
00:05:32.600 All right.
00:05:33.120 So I'm at his house. 0.97
00:05:34.760 I'd jerk off on the street if Cindy Crawford lived by me, you know. 0.99
00:05:37.680 Yeah. 0.97
00:05:38.480 So he has me moving.
00:05:41.020 I'm thinking I'm going to stay on the couch or one of his rooms or something.
00:05:43.660 He had downstairs, it was like a three-story house.
00:05:47.240 So you go downstairs.
00:05:48.420 Wow.
00:05:49.020 And then down there's a wine cellar.
00:05:51.580 And he's like, yeah, you can have this room.
00:05:52.920 But I'm seeing these racks on the wall.
00:05:54.000 I'm like, this isn't a room.
00:05:56.380 Yeah, this is for grapes.
00:05:57.360 Yeah, this is for sun-dried grapes.
00:05:59.460 This is for aged prunes.
00:06:02.120 Yeah.
00:06:02.740 So I go in there, and I have a room.
00:06:05.300 And I'm thinking he didn't let me.
00:06:07.160 He would throw parties.
00:06:08.460 Wouldn't let me come upstairs because there was a door in the lock.
00:06:10.600 He had the party.
00:06:11.720 I'm seeing the people come in. 1.00
00:06:12.840 Damn. 0.99
00:06:13.300 You had to stay down there. 1.00
00:06:14.320 You had to stay down there. 1.00
00:06:15.160 I'm like, damn. 1.00
00:06:16.180 Damn, you're like in Notre Dame, like that guy that rings the bell. 0.99
00:06:19.660 I didn't know I'd be answering the door, and that's about it. 0.99
00:06:21.860 Yeah.
00:06:22.640 I thought I was going to get to party with the Hollywood stars. 1.00
00:06:25.140 Damn. 0.99
00:06:25.720 And so who came through there? 0.99
00:06:26.700 All types of people, huh?
00:06:28.000 Not Bill Cosby.
00:06:29.280 Burt Reynolds.
00:06:29.940 Burt Reynolds, wow.
00:06:30.900 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:31.580 Kevin Costner I'd seen in and out.
00:06:34.900 He knew everybody.
00:06:36.140 Yeah.
00:06:36.920 Jim Tomei. 1.00
00:06:38.000 Damn. 1.00
00:06:38.520 You know Jim Tomei? 0.99
00:06:40.420 Chipper Jones stopped by a couple times.
00:06:42.580 Jesus.
00:06:43.420 Yeah.
00:06:44.280 And who else even?
00:06:45.060 I heard that they had Daffy Duck pass through.
00:06:47.060 No, no more Garcia Parra. 0.99
00:06:49.220 Damn. 0.99
00:06:49.940 He ghosted me a couple times on the handshake on the way out. 1.00
00:06:52.940 Uh-uh.
00:06:53.740 Yeah.
00:06:54.220 Wow.
00:06:54.480 So I was trying to catch girls coming out.
00:06:56.560 I tried to talk to them.
00:06:58.360 Popping out from behind the shrubs.
00:06:59.520 Yeah, but he didn't have any lights down there for me on purpose, so I couldn't talk to nobody.
00:07:03.880 So I don't want to hear.
00:07:05.860 I don't want to hear.
00:07:07.020 I didn't know him then.
00:07:08.020 Yeah.
00:07:08.460 And I had to pay $2,700 a month.
00:07:11.100 Oh, dang.
00:07:11.900 Dang, bro.
00:07:12.300 I stayed there by two weeks.
00:07:13.560 I kept my deposit.
00:07:14.700 I cleaned the place and everything. 0.99
00:07:16.100 Damn. 0.99
00:07:16.900 Yeah, so. 0.99
00:07:17.620 So that's the other side of Simon Rex.
00:07:18.840 That's the dirty side of dirt. 0.80
00:07:20.800 That's the dirty side of dirt.
00:07:21.360 That's the dark side of dirt.
00:07:23.200 The dark side.
00:07:24.700 Dude, we both grew up in a different time, I feel like.
00:07:27.540 Oh, yeah.
00:07:28.600 The real time.
00:07:29.520 The 80s, man.
00:07:30.160 The actual fun.
00:07:31.560 The 80s.
00:07:32.140 The 80s.
00:07:32.500 What do you love about it?
00:07:33.500 What's something that you miss about it?
00:07:35.520 I think people, they saw more clearly.
00:07:39.960 Yeah.
00:07:40.680 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:07:41.380 I'm sweating like a damn gazoon tight. 0.99
00:07:43.460 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:07:44.260 On the sports gloss. 1.00
00:07:45.500 Oh, I'm sweating like a fucking sneeze stuck in a thick bitch. 1.00
00:07:48.520 You feel me? 1.00
00:07:49.020 I'm fucking. 0.99
00:07:50.220 Yeah. 1.00
00:07:51.140 Yeah.
00:07:51.560 I'm creating havoc, man. 0.99
00:07:52.900 I'm fucking dripping. 0.99
00:07:53.780 Yeah, we're dripping. 1.00
00:07:55.000 Dude, I'm dripping like a fucking, like an Icelandic stripper, bro, in a fucking sunstorm, 1.00
00:07:59.800 dog. 1.00
00:08:00.020 I'm fucking leaking over here. 0.99
00:08:02.440 We should tell people we were playing sports. 0.99
00:08:04.160 That's why.
00:08:04.480 Yeah, okay.
00:08:04.680 So, first of all, the reason we're damn sweating is because we're outside talking about building
00:08:09.920 a five-acre football field, sports compound, get away from the world. 0.66
00:08:15.180 I think back in the 80s, you couldn't direct message Elvis Presley.
00:08:20.720 You couldn't hit up Roseanne Barr.
00:08:24.800 Yeah.
00:08:24.860 You couldn't comment under Rod Stewart and say, hey, I don't want to live forever young.
00:08:32.580 Yeah.
00:08:33.800 You're too old to be thinking about being young.
00:08:36.540 Yeah, yeah.
00:08:37.100 You couldn't talk to people.
00:08:38.380 I think, and now with the, like, media and all the-
00:08:43.060 Online social media.
00:08:44.460 Oh, it's shameless.
00:08:45.880 Now, the online has turned into a national inquiry.
00:08:48.740 It is.
00:08:48.900 Remember, I'll be in line, my mom would be grocery shopping, and I'd look over at Ronald
00:08:54.520 Reagan pregnant with triplet aliens. 0.79
00:08:57.220 Yeah. 1.00
00:08:57.720 Ronald Reagan got a slave, and you're like, what the fuck? 1.00
00:09:00.140 Yeah, I was like, I was back in there, and we were at a place called Gerland's. 1.00
00:09:04.380 Yeah.
00:09:05.060 There was a store, and I'd be in line, and there would be a black and white newspaper
00:09:08.060 at the National Inquirer, and it would say, it would say, like, Abraham Lincoln found
00:09:12.160 50 gold coins under, you know what I mean?
00:09:15.240 Abraham Lincoln found a cave dwelling.
00:09:18.080 Yeah.
00:09:18.360 Abraham Lincoln found out how to cook canned fish.
00:09:21.860 Yeah.
00:09:22.140 Like, yeah, that's not real.
00:09:23.500 He doesn't know how to cook. 1.00
00:09:24.140 You're like, damn. 0.99
00:09:25.280 Yeah, aliens, they would have a rumor, like, aliens at the, they would have aliens at the 1.00
00:09:31.680 fucking Lakeland Mall. 0.99
00:09:33.860 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:09:34.800 Yeah.
00:09:35.020 Two aliens found at Lakeland Mall.
00:09:36.720 So, nowadays, anybody, you could say anything, and if it's juicy enough, then people, you
00:09:42.860 could do it with you.
00:09:43.700 Right.
00:09:44.040 And then, also, I get, do you ever get direct messages, crazy direct messages from people?
00:09:47.620 Oh, man.
00:09:47.960 You know, because they got direct messages, then they have requests.
00:09:52.260 So, every now and then, I dabble in there, and look, people say, can you post my Kickstarter?
00:09:57.600 Yeah.
00:09:58.020 I'm trying to be a rapper.
00:09:58.980 Hey, you inspired me to be a rapper.
00:10:00.420 Back in the day, it was, oh, you inspired me to get up in the morning, and da, da, da.
00:10:04.500 You know what I mean?
00:10:05.020 So, but now, it's, everything.
00:10:07.720 You inspired me to eat cereal today.
00:10:09.460 Yeah, everybody, and everybody is, you inspired me to be just like you.
00:10:14.020 Yeah.
00:10:14.200 People think that it's like, well, I'll take a picture with you, then I'll get some of
00:10:18.980 your magical powers.
00:10:20.680 I'm like, it's not magical powers.
00:10:22.300 It's just, I'm like, you know what I'm saying?
00:10:23.860 But it's too accessible, you think?
00:10:25.340 It's too accessible to reach somebody that, I think, I think with Instagram, just like,
00:10:30.400 you know, you had a verified account, right?
00:10:31.800 Yeah.
00:10:31.980 I think every single human being who's on Instagram, just like how you got to be verified
00:10:36.100 to make sure that you, everybody should be verified.
00:10:38.520 Verified to make sure it's them.
00:10:39.200 You should send in your, you should, first of all, to be able to direct message somebody,
00:10:42.400 you should have to be 18 and up. 0.98
00:10:43.620 Yeah.
00:10:43.980 And if you are, then your parents should have their credit card online.
00:10:47.100 And if you put up and leave a comment that's vulgar, then Instagram should shut your account
00:10:51.540 out until they, the customer service can FaceTime you and talk to you and your parents
00:10:54.920 and be like, if you leave another comment, first of all, you're fined 50 bucks.
00:10:57.760 Yeah.
00:10:57.840 If they find your parents too.
00:10:58.880 They're fining that credit card.
00:11:00.780 Your mother knows immediately.
00:11:02.300 And they're fining you 50, 50 bucks. 1.00
00:11:04.160 You've been saying pussy over there on the fucking, at Chase ATM account. 1.00
00:11:07.200 If you're in school and you say some shit and you get in trouble, then you should get 1.00
00:11:10.220 in trouble for that. 1.00
00:11:10.800 You can say, oh, I don't like this song, but then, you know what I'm saying?
00:11:14.000 If you say Miss Connaughton is fat, then you getting in trouble. 0.98
00:11:17.360 That's $30.
00:11:17.980 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:11:18.620 Yeah.
00:11:19.560 Exactly.
00:11:20.260 If you should be, people should be able to have to watch, people should have to watch what
00:11:24.340 they say.
00:11:25.000 Why is that?
00:11:25.600 Okay, so if the people, if Instagram is such a big thing, it's big because of what?
00:11:29.600 People want to see the inside scoop live of celebrities live or whoever, right?
00:11:34.180 Yeah.
00:11:34.320 So every single celebrity, every single verified account would be like, you know what?
00:11:38.000 I'm going to boycott Instagram.
00:11:39.220 I'm going to get out of there.
00:11:40.100 Right.
00:11:40.200 Then it's just all these regular people, not even regular people, but you know, people
00:11:43.660 who aren't-
00:11:44.240 Unverified accounts.
00:11:45.500 Unverified accounts would just go on at each other.
00:11:47.400 That wouldn't exist.
00:11:48.440 Right.
00:11:49.260 You know what I'm saying?
00:11:49.420 But do you think, I mean, I know-
00:11:50.660 It's not going to be me saying.
00:11:51.500 It's going to have to be somebody big-
00:11:52.980 Steven Tyler.
00:11:53.580 It's going to have to be-
00:11:55.100 Exactly.
00:11:55.480 Neil Armstrong.
00:11:57.340 Yeah. 0.98
00:11:57.760 David Duchovny would have to say some shit to what I'm saying right now for it to matter. 0.96
00:12:02.080 But yeah, you'd have to get somebody- 0.98
00:12:03.420 You should have to be- 0.98
00:12:04.320 A black guy, too. 0.98
00:12:04.980 You should have-
00:12:05.900 Bill Cartwright.
00:12:07.520 Or, I'm trying to think of something else.
00:12:10.040 John Sally would have to- 0.96
00:12:10.920 John Sally.
00:12:11.580 Bill Cartwright.
00:12:12.140 John Sally.
00:12:13.200 John Sally, boy.
00:12:14.160 Why does everybody love John Sally, man?
00:12:16.340 He just, I think people think he's Arsino Hall's older brother.
00:12:19.400 Yeah.
00:12:19.640 So, it's like, okay, he's the, you know.
00:12:22.520 Yeah, he's Arsino Tall, bro. 0.97
00:12:24.240 He's like the fucking long Arsino Hall. 0.99
00:12:25.500 John Sally. 0.99
00:12:27.580 Shaq would have to say something.
00:12:29.380 Dude, I saw Shaq, man. 1.00
00:12:30.600 He's everywhere.
00:12:31.240 I saw him two weeks ago at a UFC fight.
00:12:32.920 Okay.
00:12:33.140 And it blew my mind.
00:12:34.840 You ever been to UFC fights?
00:12:36.420 I don't think I've been to a live one.
00:12:38.380 Have you ever been approached about being a wrestler? 0.99
00:12:41.060 Yeah, actually, no bullshit. 0.98
00:12:43.780 Hulk Hogan. 0.74
00:12:45.380 When I started, when I put, because like for a time, I was like trying to just put on as
00:12:49.100 much weight as possible.
00:12:50.040 Yeah.
00:12:50.820 Because you definitely, you look thick, man.
00:12:52.420 You look like Lyle Alzado before the disease.
00:12:54.220 I'm trying to say, since I've been in Florida, I've lost like almost 30 pounds.
00:12:59.100 I was like 250, but I was just trying to bulk up, right?
00:13:02.340 But now in this, I'm sweating right now.
00:13:04.760 Like, it's muggy like in Houston.
00:13:06.620 But you just naturally, if you're outside, you're going to just naturally just not want
00:13:11.740 to, because it's so hot out, you're not going to want to eat hamburgers and french fries
00:13:15.100 outside.
00:13:16.180 You know what I mean?
00:13:16.980 I just, my appetite slowed down and my hunger for working out increased.
00:13:23.460 Really?
00:13:23.920 Since you've been here?
00:13:25.340 Been out here like six months building this studio.
00:13:28.260 Yeah, man.
00:13:28.900 This is a mega multimedia complex.
00:13:30.180 You're the first, you know.
00:13:32.060 Am I the first person to be here?
00:13:33.360 Yeah, you're the first human to be in this facility.
00:13:35.980 It's not your honor.
00:13:36.820 No joke.
00:13:37.220 Yeah, I really do, man.
00:13:38.360 Yeah.
00:13:38.480 I'm such a big fan.
00:13:39.120 You're the most requested person ever of any, dude, of anybody, live or dead, bruh.
00:13:44.960 Live or dead.
00:13:45.560 Nobody.
00:13:45.860 Tom Jefferson, not that many hits, bruh.
00:13:48.300 Yeah.
00:13:48.860 Anybody, dude.
00:13:50.740 Everybody talks about the mullet.
00:13:52.040 I think we're the only mullet bearing municipals. 0.97
00:13:56.400 Yeah.
00:13:57.160 Marsupials.
00:13:57.700 Yeah, bruh. 0.99
00:13:58.400 I mean, we definitely those fucking hair bears, you know, we're up there. 0.99
00:14:01.060 Yeah. 0.99
00:14:01.920 The hair bears. 1.00
00:14:03.060 We're fucking Afghanistan's, bruh. 1.00
00:14:05.000 We got that fucking. 1.00
00:14:05.900 I got the damn Florida follicle fountain back. 1.00
00:14:09.020 Yeah, you do, man. 1.00
00:14:10.280 See, you know what I mean?
00:14:11.020 And we're here in riffraff Afghanistan, bruh. 1.00
00:14:13.300 This is your fucking, this is it. 1.00
00:14:14.900 Yeah, we're in the Neon Nightmare Sports Studio. 1.00
00:14:16.680 Oh, it's crazy.
00:14:17.380 We're showcasing sports.
00:14:18.680 Dude, you got the ghost of Tony Gwynn outside.
00:14:22.980 Yeah.
00:14:23.740 I got Kirby Puckett.
00:14:25.720 Oh, you got Cecil Fielding out here, bruh.
00:14:27.620 Yeah, I got the big field.
00:14:27.920 You got Cecil Fielder still working, the big one.
00:14:29.740 Oh, yeah.
00:14:30.900 You got the big unit.
00:14:31.920 I got Randy Johnson out back, yard mulch.
00:14:35.500 Oh, yeah, bruh. 1.00
00:14:36.340 You got that fucking. 1.00
00:14:37.300 Mulching mullets. 1.00
00:14:38.260 You got him out there fucking. 1.00
00:14:39.840 He's doing yard mullets. 1.00
00:14:40.480 Killing pigeons, bruh.
00:14:41.600 He's putting, he's putting in, he's investing in some type of plenary.
00:14:45.720 Now, he had good hair.
00:14:47.020 He had a nice set backstage.
00:14:49.460 How do you feel differently now that you had the million dollar mullet?
00:14:51.960 Because Dale D'Antoni is the only one.
00:14:53.180 It's more comfortable.
00:14:53.540 Because I'd had like a full head of just hair for like, I'd had braids for almost like
00:14:58.660 10 years.
00:14:59.400 Wow.
00:14:59.780 I just, you know what I mean?
00:15:00.840 Oh, yeah, man.
00:15:01.700 You used to have that.
00:15:02.500 And I can still grow it out if I want to, but I keep, it's just like when it's, when it's
00:15:06.560 not hitting your ears and, you know what I mean?
00:15:09.100 Like the hair getting in your mouth and stuff like, having this front trimmed up and then
00:15:15.060 the back, you know what I mean?
00:15:16.100 It's just a lot easier to wash.
00:15:17.280 It's easier to dry.
00:15:18.440 It looks better.
00:15:19.660 People see it.
00:15:20.480 They know you mean something.
00:15:21.500 It sounds better when it's in the wind.
00:15:24.020 It has a certain sound to it.
00:15:25.520 It's whispering around.
00:15:26.260 It has a snap tap.
00:15:27.500 Yeah.
00:15:28.540 Who's that?
00:15:30.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:30.540 I think that's where the Rice Krispie, those Rice Krispie Treat, those three, I think they
00:15:33.980 had mullets.
00:15:34.660 They made them cut them when they were getting a photo shoot, but that's how they got that
00:15:37.380 snap, crackle, pop.
00:15:38.660 Oh, dude.
00:15:39.440 Look, man, if you look at old pictures of them boys, all three of them, you know, and one
00:15:43.900 of them had a, was a celiac, had celiac disease.
00:15:47.480 Was it the redheaded boy? 0.52
00:15:48.660 I think it was because one of them couldn't even eat the treats they made.
00:15:51.100 Oh, wow.
00:15:52.620 And that really, I know that hurt a lot of, it didn't hurt people's feelings, but, you
00:15:56.660 know, anyway, it was, so him even being able to be a part of it was really a miracle.
00:16:00.500 Yeah.
00:16:00.820 But yeah, they, they all had mullets when they were younger.
00:16:04.700 That's funny you knew that.
00:16:05.960 Yeah.
00:16:06.400 I've had a feeling.
00:16:07.660 Who would be the top ten, let's do the top five people that should have mullets because 1.00
00:16:12.060 it would change how they fucking operate. 0.98
00:16:13.260 Right now? 0.99
00:16:13.900 Yeah.
00:16:14.740 Okay.
00:16:15.600 Go ahead.
00:16:15.880 You go first.
00:16:16.360 Okay.
00:16:17.620 First up, if I had to think of a good person that could get a mullet, because it would 0.99
00:16:22.820 help him, I think, operate a little bit better and really show who he is.
00:16:27.240 I go with Bill Trill Clinton. 0.99
00:16:30.740 Damn. 0.99
00:16:31.480 You think he'd go back running for Prez? 1.00
00:16:33.320 Oh, dude, I think he'd fucking run through a couple more legs of puss if he fucking threw 1.00
00:16:37.160 one on, to be honest with you, dude. 0.99
00:16:39.420 Because Bill, man, I've been through Arkansas and he, they said, you know, a lot of ladies 0.87
00:16:43.040 still know him and remember him fondly.
00:16:45.620 And I think if he had a mullet, it would really take it to the next level.
00:16:49.200 You think he'd go all white or diet?
00:16:53.420 I don't know.
00:16:54.680 I don't know if Hillary would let him diet.
00:16:56.180 I think he would have to go.
00:16:56.900 Yeah.
00:16:57.260 She'd probably kick him out. 1.00
00:16:58.420 Get back on your old shit again, ain't you? 1.00
00:17:00.380 Get out of whole Arkansas, you're going to make me look bad in front of my peers. 1.00
00:17:04.580 He's like, you don't have any peers, it's my state.
00:17:07.320 Then they get into it because he got that fire back in him. 0.98
00:17:09.460 He's like, damn, I remembered, yeah. 0.97
00:17:11.680 Matter of fact, if I recall correctly, you didn't even pick me. 0.98
00:17:16.400 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:17.420 I picked you.
00:17:18.240 Yeah, you picked another man.
00:17:19.120 You picked that guy who did the Herman Cain. 0.97
00:17:22.580 You was fucking jocking Herman Cain back in the day. 0.97
00:17:24.820 Pizza, pizza, pizza. 0.99
00:17:26.320 You really wanted Billy Mays.
00:17:28.660 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:29.240 You would pick him for four square balls. 0.65
00:17:31.100 Yeah.
00:17:32.140 Yeah, you wanted Billy Ray Cyrus. 0.99
00:17:36.800 I saw you looking at his fucking overall stripes. 0.98
00:17:39.540 I saw you over there looking at his Instagram stories. 0.99
00:17:42.320 Yeah.
00:17:42.740 I was over your shoulder. 0.99
00:17:43.880 Yeah, I saw you reading fucking cornbread recipes that his mother had written. 0.99
00:17:47.480 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:17:48.700 Yeah, you cared more about him. 0.99
00:17:51.000 You don't even fucking care about me, Hillary. 0.99
00:17:53.880 When you were a baby, you had Teddy Ruxpin, you put a tape in the back and it was just his voice. 0.99
00:17:58.960 Just cradling you to sleep. 0.99
00:18:00.840 Damn, yeah. 0.99
00:18:01.260 Audio cradles. 0.99
00:18:02.440 Yeah, you got audio cradles from Billy Mays back there.
00:18:05.600 Yeah. 0.99
00:18:05.840 You had a Teddy Ruxpin trying to sell you a fucking OxyClean. 0.99
00:18:08.420 Yeah. 1.00
00:18:09.360 No wonder you can't get any rest at night.
00:18:11.220 You know who I think should film more movies?
00:18:16.420 Who?
00:18:16.680 I think Adam Sandler should grow a mullet and really just get ripped and just showcase and shoot Happy Gilmore 2.
00:18:24.000 Yeah.
00:18:25.060 I can see that, boy.
00:18:26.700 How happy is it?
00:18:27.740 I wonder what it would be called.
00:18:31.580 Happier Now.
00:18:32.560 Yeah.
00:18:34.140 Happier Than Ever.
00:18:35.180 Happier Now. 1.00
00:18:35.880 And I would like to even see him be in a wheelchair and jacked as fuck, man. 1.00
00:18:39.600 Because here's the thing I noticed. 0.99
00:18:40.960 I got a couple buddies that was, one guy got hit by lightning or fell into a hole or something.
00:18:45.340 And another guy, his legs never, he never had any good legs from the beginning, right?
00:18:50.200 And so he's all jacked.
00:18:51.400 When you just focus on the upper body.
00:18:53.540 Mm-hmm.
00:18:55.520 It's like on family guy.
00:18:56.860 It's tight.
00:18:57.580 Lights out, bro. 1.00
00:18:58.360 This dude is so fucking jacked, man. 0.99
00:19:00.660 It's a different level, you know? 0.99
00:19:02.880 But I could see that Adam Sandler, if he had a nice mullet, what kind of good movies would he make?
00:19:06.720 Different ones.
00:19:07.660 He should retake over Rambo. 1.00
00:19:10.460 Because I know they're shooting a Rambo, but what if they switched up and went like Rambo 8 and it was two Rambos. 0.81
00:19:15.800 It was me and Adam Sands.
00:19:17.700 Yeah.
00:19:19.260 I could see that.
00:19:20.620 Horatio Sands.
00:19:21.720 Or Horatio Sandler. 0.91
00:19:24.280 Norm Macdonald should grow a mullet and just get ripped. 0.58
00:19:27.000 Oh, yeah.
00:19:27.580 And he's like, yeah, I'm a mullet.
00:19:30.180 And he does a Colonel Sanders movie, but it's a documentary, but it's all way off.
00:19:33.400 And Colonel Sanders is his twin brother.
00:19:36.460 Yeah, and him and Colonel Sanders fight.
00:19:38.140 And then he beats Colonel Sanders and opens up a place called Norm Macdonald's. 0.99
00:19:41.680 And it's a fucking place where you go with two Cs on there. 0.99
00:19:44.460 So they take over McDonald's. 0.99
00:19:45.940 Yeah, so no trademark infringement issues.
00:19:47.600 And you go in there, you think you're going to get something needed. 1.00
00:19:49.820 It's Norm Macdonald in there with a fucking, just with a hatchet or just fucking you up. 1.00
00:19:54.280 Man. 1.00
00:19:56.060 Cranking cords.
00:19:56.840 Dude, how much? 1.00
00:19:58.540 I can't believe nobody's funding this shit we got. 1.00
00:20:02.320 Adam Sandler could do it. 0.99
00:20:03.840 You know, I can't believe we can't anybody to fund these ideas.
00:20:06.620 All right, so you got it.
00:20:07.260 We got Bill Clinton.
00:20:09.520 We got Adam Sandler.
00:20:11.440 But, dude, I heard they're making Tranbo. 0.66
00:20:13.760 It's like a transgender. 1.00
00:20:19.960 Bowflex? 0.96
00:20:20.820 Oh, for real?
00:20:21.440 Yeah, yeah, I tried Bowflex. 1.00
00:20:22.780 That makes you, a Bowflex that makes your dick wet. 1.00
00:20:26.220 Bowflex sent me a free Bowflex. 1.00
00:20:28.640 Are you serious?
00:20:29.160 It's in the backyard.
00:20:30.040 Oh, wow.
00:20:30.660 I'm serious.
00:20:31.580 I thought, you know, a friend of mine, his sister hooked up with Tony Little from Tony
00:20:37.640 Little Gazelle Freestyler.
00:20:40.060 From the commercials?
00:20:41.300 Yep.
00:20:42.360 Who's sister?
00:20:43.320 Long time ago.
00:20:44.340 My friend Darren.
00:20:45.520 You don't know him.
00:20:46.760 He used to live by me when I was younger. 0.97
00:20:51.020 Dude, you know, I got a blowjob from Jared from Subway's sister a long time ago in a French 0.98
00:20:56.920 quarter. 1.00
00:20:58.040 Damn. 1.00
00:20:58.400 Damn. 1.00
00:21:02.220 Okay, so we got Bill Clinton, Adam Sandler. 0.99
00:21:04.400 I think, I think it's somebody good.
00:21:08.020 I think Rikki Lake should come back with her own show and she's just, she's mulled it out
00:21:13.780 and she's like, listen, I'm going to tell y'all what's cool, what's not cool.
00:21:17.720 Y'all are just, y'all ain't it.
00:21:19.620 Yeah.
00:21:20.220 This is what's, this is what's going on.
00:21:22.560 Yeah.
00:21:22.800 This is cool.
00:21:23.360 And she just does a whole show on, this is cool, this ain't. 0.87
00:21:26.520 This ain't.
00:21:26.900 And she just airs everybody out. 1.00
00:21:28.740 Puts it all out.
00:21:29.560 She's like, listen.
00:21:30.540 Because she's mixed, first of all, so she can talk about anybody. 1.00
00:21:32.720 She can talk shit about everybody. 0.99
00:21:33.740 And then she got, yeah, and then she have the side slashes too. 1.00
00:21:37.140 She does? 0.98
00:21:37.760 She should.
00:21:38.720 That Thickey Lake, they used to call her, because she got thick for a while. 0.96
00:21:41.700 And she just, she's just in there with a mullet and she's just sitting there and she's 1.00
00:21:46.220 dancing and everything, but not regular, like Ellen dances, like just grooving and it's
00:21:50.860 easy going.
00:21:51.440 No, she's, she's out there getting it.
00:21:53.860 And she's telling everybody, nah, this is, this is where it's at.
00:21:57.260 Yeah.
00:21:57.840 Yeah. 0.99
00:21:58.160 Y'all need to quit fucking driving this, this Toyota Camry ain't it. 0.99
00:22:02.060 Listen, these Subaru hatchbacks. 1.00
00:22:03.740 Fucking hatch whack, bruh. 1.00
00:22:06.740 What you need is to get that Ford Festive and put some fucking 38s on it. 1.00
00:22:11.240 Damn, uh, uh, uh, what the hell were them things called? 1.00
00:22:15.740 Suzuki, uh, Suzuki Troopers. 0.99
00:22:17.800 Yeah.
00:22:18.640 Them little Jeeps.
00:22:19.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:20.040 Yeah, that's a Suzuki Trooper, dude. 0.99
00:22:23.080 Little fucking, and you got to get a real Asian to drive it. 1.00
00:22:25.140 With the laminated snap things on it. 1.00
00:22:26.540 Click, click, click.
00:22:27.080 Yeah.
00:22:27.800 That was like the, the windbreaker of cars.
00:22:30.720 Like, you're like, whoa, that's a little Suzuki Trooper. 0.99
00:22:33.060 Damn, yeah. 1.00
00:22:33.800 You're like, damn, this thing doubles as a fucking light coat. 1.00
00:22:36.500 Yeah, you wear that damn, that click, click, let them, one of them snaps flow. 1.00
00:22:40.380 Click, click, click, click. 1.00
00:22:42.000 Yeah, dude.
00:22:42.820 Oh, if it got cold out, man.
00:22:44.940 You got to zip it up, turn the heat on, leave it, leave the car running about 30 minutes,
00:22:49.540 let it heat up.
00:22:51.500 Hey, take the keys, go ride around the block a couple times, leave the heat cranking.
00:22:56.260 Dude, it was, it was like a windbreaker.
00:22:58.080 Sometimes you find something in the pockets of the doors, it was like a pocket.
00:23:00.880 It was like a stretching.
00:23:02.320 Yeah, you find your old credit card in there, or a stick of gum, and it was just. 0.79
00:23:05.860 A silly straw. 0.52
00:23:06.980 Yeah. 0.97
00:23:07.280 A twisty one.
00:23:08.180 That somebody been chewing on.
00:23:09.200 With a, with a, a little Kermit the Frog on the top.
00:23:11.900 Yo, I got the, I got the green one.
00:23:14.780 Man, yeah, Ricky Lake would be really good if she grew her hair out.
00:23:17.820 She needs to do that. 0.56
00:23:18.620 Because more people would respect her, too, I think.
00:23:20.360 She needs to make a comeback, but she's one of the time. 1.00
00:23:21.880 Mullets are coming back.
00:23:22.600 Oh, dude.
00:23:23.460 Mullets are coming back.
00:23:24.060 I see on you, like Barstool Sports, they, anytime somebody gets a mullet, they post it.
00:23:28.780 Mm-hmm.
00:23:29.440 Anytime.
00:23:30.120 And do you feel like people, I notice a lot of people come to me with it, but in, you
00:23:34.540 know, in other countries, and I know you know, in other countries, this is just a hockey
00:23:38.900 haircut, or it's a, in some countries, in Amsterdam, this is a woman's haircut.
00:23:43.220 This is predominantly a young woman, and a lot of times, if it's a young white girl that 0.98
00:23:47.580 dates a lot of brothers, they'll have this haircut.
00:23:49.140 You know, jewelry is jewelry, but diamonds are diamonds.
00:23:52.140 You know what I mean?
00:23:52.480 I mean, a lot of people can mistake something for one thing, just because, oh, cars are
00:23:55.400 cars, but Lamborghini's a Lamborghini.
00:23:57.160 Yeah.
00:23:57.340 And I've talked about that before, it's like, when you have the mullet, and you're doing
00:24:02.300 it, the million-dollar mullet, that's a whole other, you know.
00:24:06.820 That's a whole other station for that head nation. 0.99
00:24:09.580 God, dude.
00:24:10.020 That's a whole other station verification.
00:24:12.260 And it looks strong.
00:24:13.740 It looks like the back is on creatine, baby. 0.99
00:24:15.400 Yeah, I mean, I hate to, I mean, I'll take this out and I'll throw it back on my damn. 0.97
00:24:19.260 Yeah, I'd love to see a little more. 0.93
00:24:20.360 It's, you know, this isn't, this isn't no, people ask if I have a zipper on it.
00:24:25.740 Yeah.
00:24:26.000 Let's do it.
00:24:26.320 Let's do it.
00:24:27.480 That ain't no sipping tea, huh?
00:24:28.900 It's the real deal Steve McNeil.
00:24:30.260 God, bruh. 0.99
00:24:34.540 Dude, that's like that fucking Jim McMahon, huh? 1.00
00:24:37.320 Remember him? 0.99
00:24:38.280 Who was the guy that played?
00:24:39.540 Brian Bosworth.
00:24:40.400 Brian Bosworth, man.
00:24:42.420 You know.
00:24:43.340 Yeah.
00:24:43.980 The Xavier McDaniels.
00:24:45.260 With the back pan handle.
00:24:48.200 Yeah, man. 0.99
00:24:49.660 That's that, yeah, that's that really, that's that fucking, that's that Rapunzel, man. 0.99
00:24:55.560 Damn, I soaked this sweatband up. 0.99
00:24:57.200 That's that Bruponzel. 0.99
00:24:59.560 The color's bleeding through without so much sports gloss.
00:25:02.520 Look at that.
00:25:02.820 We're outside playing sports.
00:25:03.980 That's America.
00:25:05.060 We should tell them about the, those five acres.
00:25:08.700 Dude, I want to talk about your dog.
00:25:09.880 Look, man, you have, I know you have a lot of beautiful animals here.
00:25:12.740 And honestly, I was scared of the animals because I seen them on the internet a long time ago.
00:25:16.180 I saw, I said, man, this man have a lot of animals.
00:25:18.780 Because I grew up in like a stray animal area.
00:25:20.680 Oh, okay.
00:25:21.080 Remember back in the 80s?
00:25:22.280 Remember stray animals?
00:25:23.360 Yeah, they were out there.
00:25:25.340 They're just out there.
00:25:25.880 Remember that?
00:25:26.340 You go outside, they got two animals out there, bro.
00:25:28.080 Just walking around. 1.00
00:25:29.180 Yeah, they got a hawk and a fucking. 1.00
00:25:30.740 And there was one that would linger around the neighborhood and everybody just left them there. 1.00
00:25:34.160 Yeah, dog, yeah.
00:25:34.920 Nobody called, nothing.
00:25:35.840 There was nobody to call.
00:25:36.940 Yeah, there was nobody to call, man.
00:25:37.580 No animal control.
00:25:39.420 By the time you get to your, you got a house phone, no area code.
00:25:42.000 Yeah, you get in.
00:25:43.040 You cut, like, wait, who I call?
00:25:44.300 I can't call 911.
00:25:45.380 By the time you got back inside, you've forgotten.
00:25:47.040 You're getting a bomb stick out of the freezer.
00:25:49.680 Oh, yeah.
00:25:50.120 He's gone. 1.00
00:25:50.760 You fucking lapsed out on a bomb pod, bro, in a couple episodes of fucking Cosby or Family Matters. 1.00
00:25:56.340 Bobby's World. 1.00
00:25:57.140 Oh, dude, Different World.
00:25:58.300 Remember Different World?
00:25:59.920 Growing Pains.
00:26:00.400 Black people started going to college.
00:26:01.820 Growing Pains?
00:26:02.740 Yeah.
00:26:03.340 Oh.
00:26:04.480 Dude, I wanted that gotta be my daddy. 0.98
00:26:05.840 I wanted a boner. 0.98
00:26:06.780 Oh. 0.68
00:26:07.060 You can't name anybody a boner on TV no more?
00:26:09.540 That's a, uh-uh.
00:26:10.380 Not anymore, man.
00:26:11.260 Remember those days?
00:26:13.200 If you wanted to know what was going on, you could watch the news, but you didn't have
00:26:18.620 to, and it was on for one hour.
00:26:19.900 Yeah.
00:26:20.200 Now, it's, everything is news.
00:26:22.540 People will watch TV because they had a show they wanted to watch.
00:26:25.380 Oh, 7 o'clock, I'm watching Cops.
00:26:27.520 8 o'clock, I'm watching Current Affairs.
00:26:30.340 Yes.
00:26:30.940 9 o'clock, oh, my dad's like, everybody leave the TV.
00:26:33.920 I'm watching Married with Children.
00:26:35.220 Yes.
00:26:35.580 You know what I mean?
00:26:36.260 There was certain shows.
00:26:37.120 Yeah, you had to go hot in the back and watch it from far away.
00:26:38.820 Or like WWF, there was like one night, there was, oh, I'm watching World Rumble.
00:26:41.780 Oh, yeah.
00:26:42.280 We gotta stay up till 10.30 on Saturday night to see the freaking. 0.99
00:26:44.520 You know what I mean?
00:26:44.540 And it was like, and then like Friday, you go, okay, look, go on a blockbuster.
00:26:47.480 Everybody pick one movie.
00:26:48.400 Yeah.
00:26:49.380 You know what I mean?
00:26:50.080 And now everybody has everything.
00:26:51.260 Now it's just, everything is news.
00:26:53.900 Like, back in the day, it was, everybody would fight for who could be the coolest.
00:26:59.340 Everybody was fighting for who could be the best.
00:27:02.140 Now it's who can be the victim fastest.
00:27:05.860 Yeah.
00:27:05.940 It's shameless.
00:27:06.680 Oh, it did.
00:27:07.180 And people confuse fame and talent with.
00:27:10.520 Victimhood.
00:27:11.160 Yeah.
00:27:11.460 Hey, hey, no, no, he did this.
00:27:13.140 Oh, you're doing something.
00:27:14.240 Hey, well, look what are you doing.
00:27:16.580 Well, he also did this.
00:27:17.880 Yeah.
00:27:18.140 He did something else too.
00:27:19.340 Yeah.
00:27:19.680 To tarnish.
00:27:20.300 And actually, and back in the day, that didn't matter.
00:27:22.460 Like, if somebody was trying to tarnish you, it didn't matter.
00:27:24.780 Yeah.
00:27:24.960 But now, the person who was trying to throw dirt on your name, they can make up anything.
00:27:30.780 Hey, Theo Vaughn stole my truck last night and he drove over to Arby's.
00:27:34.380 Yeah.
00:27:34.680 He got 15 Bronco Berry sauces, stepped on them, smashed them, and splattered all over my seats.
00:27:39.300 Yeah.
00:27:40.220 And then I'm the headline.
00:27:41.700 Man who had 15 splattered Bronco Berry sauces.
00:27:46.000 Look at this.
00:27:46.740 Look how sad it is.
00:27:47.900 He's so sad.
00:27:48.760 Go fund me now.
00:27:49.920 People, go fund me in for new sheepskin.
00:27:52.240 Man, take Theo Vaughn's sweaters.
00:27:55.400 Yeah.
00:27:55.540 He can't wear a shirt ever again.
00:27:57.560 Man, that's so sad, man.
00:28:00.140 Yeah, now it's like, oh, who can be the best victim?
00:28:02.920 Who can be the best? 0.99
00:28:03.820 Well, well, well, um, fucking, I don't have shoes. 0.99
00:28:08.580 Yeah. 0.99
00:28:09.520 Oh, man, that's so sad, man.
00:28:11.700 Dude, when I was growing up, I remember Shoeless Joe Jackson was a star because he did a whole-
00:28:15.900 That was his thing.
00:28:16.640 A sport without having shoes.
00:28:19.300 Now, it's just somebody without shoes, bro.
00:28:22.240 They have shoes in the locker.
00:28:23.600 They leave them in there just to go out there and be like.
00:28:26.800 Yeah, now somebody forgot their combination.
00:28:28.720 I forgot my shoes.
00:28:29.700 Give me a contract.
00:28:32.520 That's what people think is fame.
00:28:33.960 But now you go on.
00:28:34.840 But here's where I think that the line is still drawn.
00:28:37.660 So that's early fame.
00:28:38.860 That's people reaching.
00:28:39.900 That's people doing that.
00:28:41.280 But then you still have to get on stage and bring a type of magic.
00:28:45.500 Oh, yeah.
00:28:45.880 And the shoe.
00:28:46.720 Now, I remember one time I was on tour.
00:28:48.340 I was actually working with Norm MacDonald.
00:28:49.640 I was in Oklahoma.
00:28:52.200 And they used to have a dude on America's Got Talent or something, Pants on the Ground.
00:28:56.860 Remember this guy?
00:28:57.620 Pants on the Ground. 0.99
00:28:59.760 Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. 1.00
00:29:02.140 Now, this was a guy who had issues with gravity and he fucking didn't have a belt, right? 1.00
00:29:06.740 Yeah. 0.97
00:29:06.960 So this guy, they brought him out to the show.
00:29:09.040 He opened the show up doing five minutes, Pants on the Ground.
00:29:13.180 Then he brought his dime out there.
00:29:14.660 He had a lady and her pants had issues as well. 1.00
00:29:17.200 So he'd bring out there, do five more minutes.
00:29:19.960 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:29:20.820 Brawl on the fucking table or something. 1.00
00:29:22.880 You know? 1.00
00:29:23.200 Brawl on the table.
00:29:24.380 Brawl on the table.
00:29:25.380 Can't find my pierced navel because my bra's on the table.
00:29:30.180 Oh, okay.
00:29:31.300 All right.
00:29:31.700 Yeah. 0.98
00:29:32.060 So then, and their big clothes, so they would both kind of lay on the ground and fucking 0.95
00:29:35.740 take off the bra or something. 0.97
00:29:36.980 I don't know, right?
00:29:37.820 Yeah.
00:29:38.580 But that dude had two months of work.
00:29:43.060 And the rest of us who were doing comedy are still doing it.
00:29:47.680 Right.
00:29:47.980 So there is that line where once you take it to the stage, there's that line.
00:29:50.980 Yeah.
00:29:51.520 And yeah, the trends and the fads.
00:29:54.100 Right.
00:29:54.820 Those will fade.
00:29:55.620 The trends and fads will fade.
00:29:56.940 And some people evolve and they create new ones.
00:29:58.940 Yeah, that's why I say separation by elevation.
00:30:02.360 Right.
00:30:02.840 You know what I mean?
00:30:03.560 You got to, like, you know.
00:30:05.320 That's the one thing.
00:30:06.040 But you got to get away.
00:30:06.740 There's a lot of grabbers these days.
00:30:08.180 Oh, for sure.
00:30:09.040 Yeah.
00:30:09.600 There's always something new.
00:30:11.000 Yeah.
00:30:11.280 There's always going to be a new toy in the store.
00:30:13.060 Yeah.
00:30:13.180 There's always going to be new snacks that come out and they're in the front from the
00:30:15.940 store they're trying to sell.
00:30:17.040 Yeah.
00:30:18.000 But them Cool Ranch Doritos.
00:30:21.380 Oh.
00:30:21.780 Remember when they came out?
00:30:23.280 Those Cool Ranch Doritos.
00:30:24.420 You remember that?
00:30:25.120 Yeah. 0.98
00:30:25.300 I remember when the commercials for shit was just way different. 0.99
00:30:29.220 Like when Bo Jackson was playing two sports. 0.99
00:30:31.340 Deion Sanders was playing two sports.
00:30:32.940 And Mike Tyson and when the double-decker taco.
00:30:37.060 And you had the double-decker taco sideways neck.
00:30:39.520 Yeah.
00:30:39.880 I remember that.
00:30:40.460 He got stuck eating it.
00:30:41.380 Shaq had the sideways neck.
00:30:42.860 He couldn't eat.
00:30:43.560 He couldn't play basketball.
00:30:44.300 He was shooting free throw.
00:30:45.060 Yeah.
00:30:46.160 Dude, remember how good.
00:30:48.300 Remember when Cool Ranch Doritos.
00:30:49.980 Remember because for 20 years it was just Doritos.
00:30:52.420 Cheese only.
00:30:52.920 Regular.
00:30:54.180 Nothing fancy.
00:30:54.800 When you saw them Cool Ranch.
00:30:56.080 And then suddenly they had.
00:30:57.140 There wasn't just Ranch.
00:30:58.420 It was Cool Ranch. 1.00
00:30:59.380 Damn. 1.00
00:31:00.000 And it felt good on you. 1.00
00:31:00.960 You.
00:31:01.180 Everybody wanted the Cool Ranch.
00:31:02.520 Oh, dude.
00:31:04.040 They were sold out.
00:31:04.900 They didn't have them everywhere.
00:31:05.680 I remember biking all around town.
00:31:07.780 We heard that they had them somewhere.
00:31:09.500 Dude, a friend of mine got hit by a Trans Am on his bike looking for Cool Ranch Doritos, 0.96
00:31:13.420 bro. 1.00
00:31:13.980 And was in a fucking wheelchair after that. 1.00
00:31:16.460 Hush puppy. 1.00
00:31:16.940 What are they called?
00:31:17.500 Slush puppies.
00:31:19.060 Slush puppies and Cool Ranch Doritos.
00:31:21.400 And they go in there.
00:31:22.220 What did you used to, on a regular summer day as a kid, what kind of, you go to the
00:31:29.580 gas station.
00:31:30.320 Where did you get your money, first of all?
00:31:32.140 Okay.
00:31:32.900 First of all, where we got the money was, my mom had a chart.
00:31:35.740 If you were good, you started out with a dollar at the beginning of the week.
00:31:38.560 Okay.
00:31:38.920 And you got checks on there when you were bad.
00:31:41.340 So everybody got checks and you ended up at about 20 cents.
00:31:44.520 My little sister, though, she was always sick.
00:31:47.500 So she got all her money because she couldn't do anything bad.
00:31:49.900 She was ill.
00:31:50.880 So then we would get her money, too.
00:31:52.280 Me and my brother would take, borrow her money from her and break each other off, 50
00:31:56.380 cents each.
00:31:57.540 So I'd roll out about 60 cents over to that 7-Eleven. 0.99
00:32:01.680 I'd get myself fucking two packs of Garber's Pale Kid cards, bro. 0.99
00:32:05.400 You know what I'm saying? 0.99
00:32:05.960 Because I had to fucking stunt around my boys. 0.99
00:32:08.860 Remember that? 0.99
00:32:10.640 Loogie Larry.
00:32:11.720 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:32:12.160 And he had just fucking sleep coming out of him. 0.99
00:32:14.160 Snotty Scotty. 0.99
00:32:15.220 Oh, yeah, dude. 0.99
00:32:16.960 Remember a bomb Tom in his head when he was fucking blowing up? 0.87
00:32:19.720 Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic Atomic, yeah, something 0.97
00:32:26.060 like that, yeah.
00:32:26.440 Yeah, dude.
00:32:27.000 They had the Twisted Sisters, and they were like two snakes twirling. 1.00
00:32:31.800 Yeah, they had, oh, they had Flat Pat, and it was just a dude getting steamrolled.
00:32:36.180 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:37.120 He was curling up.
00:32:37.940 Yeah. 0.99
00:32:38.720 They had Trim Tim, and he was getting that fucking tight haircut. 0.98
00:32:43.140 Yeah, he was getting a haircut, but the scissors cut his ear off his arm. 0.99
00:32:46.420 Yes, and cut his neck.
00:32:47.320 Yeah.
00:32:47.560 Who else did they have?
00:32:50.720 Oh, Razor Raul.
00:32:53.200 Yeah.
00:32:53.900 First Spanish guy.
00:32:55.060 It was like, it was back when they were slicing.
00:32:57.480 Yeah, and he cut his wrist or something, bro.
00:32:59.340 And then the capture, sideways for attention, horizontal to get the job done.
00:33:05.560 Like, all right.
00:33:06.200 Well, I didn't know what that meant when I was eight. 1.00
00:33:07.980 You're like, damn, these cards are fucking great. 0.99
00:33:09.620 Well, by 11, I was like, okay, I see why he got discontinued. 1.00
00:33:13.320 Yeah, some of them were a little dark. 1.00
00:33:14.620 Like, kill yourself, Randall. 1.00
00:33:16.920 And you're like, what the fuck? 1.00
00:33:17.760 Wait, those don't even rhyme. 0.99
00:33:18.940 They don't even have them.
00:33:20.060 They don't even start with the same.
00:33:20.880 And he's just hanging in a closet, you know? 1.00
00:33:22.800 You're like, damn, this shit is dark. 1.00
00:33:25.140 Quaalude fucking Donald. 1.00
00:33:26.900 Damn. 1.00
00:33:27.220 And he just have a couple pills and his kids are fucking crying by the cops. 1.00
00:33:31.920 Ghostly George. 0.99
00:33:33.240 He was just hanging himself.
00:33:35.100 Hangman Hank.
00:33:36.580 He was just hanging himself in front of the students.
00:33:39.400 He was a substitute teacher. 1.00
00:33:40.580 Like, damn, first day. 1.00
00:33:43.020 Just got a degree. 0.99
00:33:44.360 I would get that and they had a fireball, bro.
00:33:46.480 And that was the thing if you wanted to flex a little bit in front of your boys or the chicks a little bit. 0.56
00:33:51.440 You wanted to get that fireball, show up with that red, that lusciousness kind of.
00:33:55.540 And have that heat in your mouth, man. 0.64
00:33:57.900 And that was about.
00:33:58.340 And you could just stick it inside and see how long it would burn. 1.00
00:34:01.440 And they knew you could fuck if you had that piece in there. 1.00
00:34:03.920 And you get that. 1.00
00:34:04.520 That thing was about a nickel and you put that thing in your jaw and show up, man.
00:34:07.960 So I would do that.
00:34:09.080 And then if I had a little bit extra money, then I would get myself maybe a chocolate for at night.
00:34:13.220 Get myself a Kit Kat.
00:34:14.960 And they have four pieces in there.
00:34:16.300 Sometimes I would get my mom a payday candy bar.
00:34:19.400 And that was kind of like a nice candy bar they had back then.
00:34:21.900 Right.
00:34:22.600 Now it's like nature's own.
00:34:23.980 They got all these fancy ones.
00:34:24.880 But back then they had that payday and it was for smart people.
00:34:29.040 But it was different, man.
00:34:30.040 What would you get if you think of you?
00:34:31.200 Well, first I had this little bronze-like glass-like little jar.
00:34:37.120 And I'd wait until I filled it up.
00:34:38.120 But I'd sell lemonade.
00:34:40.260 Oh, wow.
00:34:41.080 Yeah, me and my sister would sell it for like 10 cents, 5 cents, whatever.
00:34:45.460 Whatever you have until it fills up the jar.
00:34:47.840 I'd just go back in and keep making it.
00:34:49.480 I just wanted to fill that jar up.
00:34:50.820 And how many of you would sell a quartz gallon cup?
00:34:52.540 I'd sell it until it was gone.
00:34:53.860 I'd keep going back and make some more if I need to.
00:34:55.680 I wanted to fill that jar up.
00:34:56.860 Yeah.
00:34:57.240 I'd sell 3 cents. 1.00
00:34:58.760 Yeah, damn. 1.00
00:34:59.600 Damn. 1.00
00:34:59.760 As long as it's filled up. 0.99
00:35:01.340 So then you got to fill it up.
00:35:02.900 Yeah, yeah.
00:35:03.360 That's that feeling.
00:35:04.080 Then you roll with that back.
00:35:04.640 And then you go pull up.
00:35:06.100 Then you take that jar.
00:35:09.080 Just shove it in my pocket.
00:35:10.500 That's a lot of money.
00:35:11.280 Right.
00:35:11.480 Now I go up to the public pool.
00:35:13.340 Just hang out.
00:35:13.880 See what's going on over there.
00:35:15.040 Because that was on the way.
00:35:16.220 Because then you turn.
00:35:17.080 And then you go down.
00:35:17.620 And there was a circle K. 0.68
00:35:19.300 Okay.
00:35:19.840 But it wasn't on the street.
00:35:21.500 It was right at the end of the neighborhood.
00:35:22.760 So I didn't have to cross the street.
00:35:24.080 Oh, nothing dangerous.
00:35:25.320 Now what was happening at the public pool?
00:35:28.300 Like kids running around screaming.
00:35:30.540 There was a diving board.
00:35:32.460 The hot girl lived behind it. 1.00
00:35:34.440 Oh, yeah.
00:35:35.440 She's had bleach blonde hair. 0.93
00:35:37.100 Oh, yeah.
00:35:37.660 Coley Sanders.
00:35:38.760 Ooh.
00:35:40.240 How old was she? 0.89
00:35:42.080 Coley Sanders.
00:35:43.200 Was she Japanese or was she?
00:35:44.700 No, she was Caucasian. 0.97
00:35:46.440 Oh, yeah.
00:35:46.580 You can't even say white these days.
00:35:48.060 Yeah, you can't.
00:35:48.520 You get hog tied and stripped of all your medals if you say a color.
00:35:53.440 Yeah.
00:35:53.580 So she was of Norwegian Nordic descent.
00:35:57.520 Right.
00:35:57.880 You'd have to ask her what she is.
00:35:59.240 Yeah.
00:35:59.580 Yeah, exactly.
00:36:00.560 I don't even know.
00:36:02.020 Well, I get sued for even mentioning a human.
00:36:04.860 I think that's how it works these days.
00:36:06.740 So, yeah.
00:36:07.900 Then there's a diving board.
00:36:09.240 I can just hear it now.
00:36:11.740 You know, and there's the deep end.
00:36:13.440 Yeah, there's the deep end.
00:36:14.660 And then there's just whistles blowing right and left.
00:36:17.400 Yeah.
00:36:18.040 Stop.
00:36:18.620 Stop breathing.
00:36:19.780 Yeah.
00:36:20.200 Stop breathing.
00:36:21.120 You know what I mean?
00:36:25.920 And then.
00:36:26.200 Yeah, you're breathing underwater.
00:36:27.500 Stop.
00:36:27.980 So you can't.
00:36:28.880 Close your eyes underwater.
00:36:31.340 Yeah.
00:36:31.740 Stop drowning, they would say.
00:36:33.160 Yeah, and there was the outdoor shower.
00:36:35.480 Yeah, people would.
00:36:36.060 Some family would be in the corner with their little picnic set up.
00:36:38.820 Yeah, they have a set up right there. 0.99
00:36:39.740 But kind of by the lifeguard so you didn't fuck with them. 0.99
00:36:42.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:36:42.940 Then the older kids down by the diving board lining up.
00:36:45.700 And if you weren't tall enough, you couldn't even go on the diving board in the deep end.
00:36:50.820 Then there's adult swim.
00:36:52.200 Yeah.
00:36:52.660 You know, like, oh, adult swim.
00:36:53.520 And then I'd wait for adult swim.
00:36:54.520 And then I'd take off to the gas station.
00:36:55.960 Because that's when, what, the kids had to get out?
00:36:57.420 Had to get out.
00:36:57.960 And then they'd go to the playground.
00:36:59.040 And they'd walk around.
00:37:00.680 Go play the Ouija board in the bathroom.
00:37:02.680 Adults only.
00:37:03.620 Yeah.
00:37:04.000 Yeah.
00:37:04.160 They'd go seven minutes of heaven over there by the tricycles.
00:37:09.800 Yeah, man.
00:37:10.720 That's when you, yeah, you had to get out.
00:37:12.180 Yeah, so I'd take off to the gas station.
00:37:14.200 They had the Jolly Rancher fire.
00:37:17.560 Remember the fire Jolly Ranchers?
00:37:18.840 They were called fire flavored.
00:37:20.200 They were cinnamon, but they were crazy hot.
00:37:21.980 And the package would be stuck to the sides, but it was molted around.
00:37:24.900 So, like, there was angles, geometry angles on the thing.
00:37:29.220 Because it had melted and it's been sitting in the sun all day.
00:37:31.660 Oh, yeah.
00:37:31.800 So you didn't know how to get into that snack.
00:37:33.640 And then you get some little banana Laffy Taffy.
00:37:35.260 They didn't even have jokes on them back in the day.
00:37:37.320 Wow.
00:37:37.700 You just had to what?
00:37:38.240 Just think of something happening?
00:37:39.180 Yeah.
00:37:39.480 You had to open it and just make up a joke or something.
00:37:41.620 Hey, what do apples say on their birthday?
00:37:43.980 I don't know.
00:37:44.860 Just give me one.
00:37:45.840 No.
00:37:46.840 What do apples say on their birthday?
00:37:48.840 What?
00:37:49.680 Yeah.
00:37:52.120 Forest fires are friendly.
00:37:54.440 Yeah.
00:37:55.120 All right?
00:37:55.800 Like, all right.
00:37:57.160 Yeah.
00:37:57.880 So those and then you get those little.
00:38:01.060 It looked like a barrel.
00:38:02.600 Mm-hmm.
00:38:03.880 And it was a.
00:38:04.760 But it tasted like a melted popsicle.
00:38:06.740 It was like a little blue juice.
00:38:09.200 You ever seen those?
00:38:09.840 Oh, yeah.
00:38:10.080 It was wax.
00:38:11.240 No, no, no.
00:38:11.740 I'm talking about.
00:38:12.220 Yeah.
00:38:12.480 Well, the carton was.
00:38:13.720 Yes.
00:38:14.000 It's like a barrel.
00:38:15.100 And it had a little metal top on it.
00:38:16.420 Yep.
00:38:16.740 And you peel that off.
00:38:17.900 Yeah. 1.00
00:38:18.840 Oh, that shit was good. 1.00
00:38:19.960 What was that? 1.00
00:38:20.900 It's melted popsicles.
00:38:22.280 All the melted popsicles that go in the stores.
00:38:24.820 And they just put them in that.
00:38:26.600 Oh, I didn't even know that.
00:38:27.380 I didn't know it either.
00:38:29.040 Dang, man. 1.00
00:38:29.940 That's behind the scenes shit. 1.00
00:38:30.720 Yeah, and it had a kick in the back. 1.00
00:38:33.000 Yeah, that fucking get your neck up. 1.00
00:38:34.460 I don't know what it was. 0.99
00:38:35.040 That's a free neck brace, man. 0.98
00:38:36.380 It'll fucking loosen you up. 0.98
00:38:37.480 Yeah. 0.98
00:38:38.380 That and a double-decker taco.
00:38:41.220 Oh, yeah.
00:38:41.580 A taco.
00:38:42.100 Is that circle okay?
00:38:42.600 I don't know.
00:38:42.880 I'm just saying that.
00:38:44.300 Oh, yeah.
00:38:44.840 With that with the kick. 1.00
00:38:46.140 You're in a fucking wheelchair. 1.00
00:38:46.960 You're out of there. 1.00
00:38:48.200 But, dude, people used to.
00:38:49.420 You're at the nurse's office.
00:38:50.460 Oh, yeah.
00:38:51.480 Dude, remember the nurse's office?
00:38:53.200 Yeah.
00:38:53.420 I knew kids who used to go to the nurse's office just to switch clothes with the lost
00:38:57.420 and found just to get a new pair of pants.
00:39:01.060 That pink pantser, bro. 0.96
00:39:02.820 They had dudes go. 0.98
00:39:03.600 They'd piss their pants on Perk. 0.64
00:39:04.920 I know, dude.
00:39:07.320 Bro, and that's back when I remember.
00:39:09.720 Dude, I remember I'd get a bone or write and go in. 0.99
00:39:12.420 And then a lady and be like, hey, there's something wrong with my dick. 1.00
00:39:15.180 Yeah, check this out. 1.00
00:39:16.200 Yeah, check this out. 0.99
00:39:17.760 My dick keep getting hard. 1.00
00:39:18.980 A bee stung me. 1.00
00:39:20.000 That's what I would tell her.
00:39:21.020 Yeah.
00:39:21.580 What did the nurse say?
00:39:22.580 I think she liked me a little bit, but I was young.
00:39:24.660 How old was she? 0.89
00:39:25.560 She was probably maybe 50 or 48, but her husband had left her,
00:39:28.460 and she had a kid that was in our class.
00:39:30.360 Oh, she'd kind of send you a note and be like, hey,
00:39:32.120 I think I need to check up on Theo.
00:39:34.360 Yeah.
00:39:35.080 Is Theo sick today?
00:39:36.320 Sometimes I always get a note.
00:39:38.280 I think Theo's sick.
00:39:40.500 Yeah, he seems really sick today.
00:39:42.420 Hate to interrupt my boy Riff Raff right there,
00:39:45.280 but today's episode is brought to you by Uncommon Apothecary.
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00:41:13.740 We had some calls.
00:41:15.040 We had some questions that came in from some listeners.
00:41:16.800 We'll go through some of them and we'll try to answer some of them and see what's going on.
00:41:20.860 Dude, I miss those old days though.
00:41:22.760 It's a different time.
00:41:24.680 It's a different time, man.
00:41:26.320 Different vibe.
00:41:27.880 Okay, here's a white guy right here.
00:41:29.920 Yo, Theo. 0.99
00:41:31.700 See you're doing some shit on the 80s. 0.83
00:41:34.040 I wanted to know if you guys ever played with the WWF wrestlers, the bigger rubber ones. 0.97
00:41:41.820 Me and my brother used to beat each other with them.
00:41:43.840 And we would have little makeshift wrestling matches that we choreographed that were pretty cool. 0.99
00:41:49.600 I also would fucking eat them, man. 0.99
00:41:51.740 I know I ate me a fucking hillbilly gym arm before. 0.99
00:41:55.640 I remember they had like the Mean Gene Okerlund doll and his back was completely flat. 1.00
00:42:01.540 And that was the one that you didn't want to get hit in the head with because that fucker had knockout power. 1.00
00:42:06.660 But yeah, man. 1.00
00:42:08.440 I fucking enjoy the shit out of your fucking comedy, man. 1.00
00:42:11.380 And just listening to you. 1.00
00:42:12.740 You fucking have really helped me. 0.99
00:42:14.560 I'm like 80 days sober right now. 0.98
00:42:17.320 And you're like an inspiration to me. 0.99
00:42:19.740 So anyways, I think you're a funny motherfucker. 0.99
00:42:22.280 Gang gang. 1.00
00:42:23.360 Later.
00:42:23.700 Gang gang, bro.
00:42:25.580 That's nice of you to say that, man. 0.99
00:42:26.860 Well, I'm here with the fucking human highlight right here in Riffganistan, dude. 0.99
00:42:32.540 And do you remember the wrestlers, Riff? 0.95
00:42:34.480 Did you do it?
00:42:35.120 I had, I think I had, my favorite ones was Legion.
00:42:37.940 I had Legion of Doom.
00:42:39.200 Oh, yeah.
00:42:39.720 And they had the spiked shoulder pads and the hacksaw Jim Duggan.
00:42:43.180 Remember that? 0.96
00:42:44.820 And he was mentally handicapped.
00:42:46.380 He was a construction worker. 0.63
00:42:47.560 The one he was talking about was the foam.
00:42:50.060 I mean, it's the rubbery ones.
00:42:51.520 Those are the big ones.
00:42:52.140 You didn't want those.
00:42:52.860 I didn't get those. 0.99
00:42:53.440 You wanted the action figures with the mobile arms that fucking move. 0.97
00:42:57.040 And they're about this size. 0.98
00:42:58.220 Yes.
00:42:58.860 Yes.
00:42:59.400 You know what I mean?
00:42:59.840 They're the good size.
00:43:00.600 The big ones were right before that.
00:43:01.540 I hated those.
00:43:02.620 Yeah, dude.
00:43:03.140 Those didn't count.
00:43:03.540 Those were like, those were, those were.
00:43:05.600 Yeah, those were the thing that hit somebody.
00:43:07.060 Yeah, those were like deflated hot water balloons.
00:43:09.900 Yeah.
00:43:10.900 Yeah.
00:43:11.100 I don't like those.
00:43:12.320 Those weren't good.
00:43:14.140 They had to switch those up fast.
00:43:15.240 What other one?
00:43:15.860 Remember Big Boss Man?
00:43:17.780 Remember him?
00:43:18.280 Now he.
00:43:18.580 Yeah, yeah.
00:43:18.920 Boss Man. 0.99
00:43:19.560 He was a racist. 0.99
00:43:21.020 Now he, I think he was racist. 0.72
00:43:22.440 But at the time he was just a regular guy that he was trying to earn money for his family
00:43:25.980 and survive.
00:43:26.480 He had to cut off sleeves.
00:43:28.240 Yeah. 1.00
00:43:28.860 He had the N word, I think, across his fucking chest. 1.00
00:43:31.380 And he was wild, bro. 1.00
00:43:32.440 But then he met a black girl and actually had a mixed child.
00:43:35.080 I read online.
00:43:36.240 So hold that.
00:43:36.880 So he turned it around.
00:43:38.160 But who else?
00:43:39.200 Remember Coco Beware?
00:43:40.220 They had a black color with a bird.
00:43:41.340 Coco Beware with a bird. 0.65
00:43:42.200 Remember him?
00:43:42.260 Yeah.
00:43:43.060 And he would show up.
00:43:44.200 Yeah.
00:43:44.680 Brett the Hitman Hart.
00:43:45.960 Ha ha.
00:43:47.480 Who else we got?
00:43:48.660 Snooker.
00:43:49.940 Let's talk about, you want to talk about long hair?
00:43:51.580 Jimmy Superfly Snooker, man.
00:43:53.380 That guy would jump off the thing.
00:43:55.480 He wore the cheetah pants.
00:43:56.820 Okay.
00:43:57.640 Yeah.
00:43:58.180 And he killed a woman.
00:43:59.480 In real life.
00:44:00.280 Yeah.
00:44:00.460 He killed a woman here in Florida, actually.
00:44:04.160 But who else, man?
00:44:05.780 Man, my favorite was Macho Man Randy Savage.
00:44:08.580 Macho Man, Ultimate Warrior.
00:44:10.540 Yeah. 0.99
00:44:11.180 Ultimate Warrior was fucking good, bro. 0.99
00:44:13.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:44:13.620 He's, like, I know he died not too long ago.
00:44:18.920 Yeah, not too long ago, man.
00:44:20.140 But, like.
00:44:20.660 He was the legend.
00:44:22.120 Like, I know he was, even after he stopped, you know, wrestling,
00:44:26.500 and he moved to a ranch.
00:44:27.820 A lot of those wrestlers, I learned, they moved far, far away from people.
00:44:32.000 Wow.
00:44:32.160 They didn't want to, like, you know what I mean?
00:44:33.720 A lot of them moved to Florida.
00:44:35.040 Yeah.
00:44:35.420 And they get four or five acres, you know what I mean?
00:44:39.000 Why do you think that is?
00:44:39.980 They want to just, I think, because they probably saw what was coming.
00:44:45.000 Like, the 2000s, they're like, I don't want all that.
00:44:48.020 I don't know what that is.
00:44:48.940 I don't want that.
00:44:50.100 No, no, no.
00:44:50.960 Not that.
00:44:51.840 They, they, all, like, the, you want, I mean, to me, I need, I need, I need,
00:44:57.420 I need to create space.
00:44:58.760 Right.
00:44:59.200 To have, to be able to create.
00:45:01.620 I need to create space to have creative space.
00:45:04.640 Oh.
00:45:04.880 You know what I'm saying?
00:45:05.360 I need, I need space between.
00:45:07.020 Yeah.
00:45:07.740 Just everything.
00:45:08.880 You need that think area.
00:45:09.920 Yeah.
00:45:10.240 You need to really, you need some acreage for your brain.
00:45:12.180 Yeah.
00:45:12.520 But I mean, I, but I know he was probably, like, he, he, I saw, like, a documentary or something 0.99
00:45:18.880 where he was still talking shit. 1.00
00:45:20.620 Wow. 1.00
00:45:20.960 He cut his hair and everything, but he, it was just in him, that warrior spirit.
00:45:24.280 Like, he was just.
00:45:25.720 He was an underdog. 1.00
00:45:26.600 He was awesome shit. 1.00
00:45:26.700 A lot of underdogs vibed with him because. 1.00
00:45:28.920 He was awesome shit. 1.00
00:45:29.920 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:30.520 He would always come in and he always seemed, like, from parts unknown.
00:45:34.060 Remember, I think that's what they would say about him.
00:45:36.920 That he was from, he could, that way he could be anybody.
00:45:38.880 I know a lot of people say, like, some things like, oh, yeah, man, it's a persona, it's a character.
00:45:44.240 I don't, like, I think, I mean, when it's somebody who, like, mentally, like,
00:45:48.960 they're, like, parts unknown.
00:45:51.140 Yeah.
00:45:51.540 Like, that's just what that is.
00:45:54.080 You know what I mean?
00:45:54.900 That's where they're from.
00:45:55.640 Yeah, they feel inside of themselves like they aren't from somewhere.
00:45:58.640 And they just are where they are.
00:46:00.000 And that's where they.
00:46:00.520 Yeah, and I think that certain people have to, you know, be a, get a certain amount of space to even be.
00:46:07.240 I remember, now looking back at it, I'm starting to see, I'm, like, kind of like that.
00:46:11.240 Because in school, I couldn't think about what's on paper.
00:46:14.400 I didn't, I don't even want to be here. 0.98
00:46:15.940 Look at all these damn bright lights. 0.97
00:46:17.420 And, wait, what time is it? 0.99
00:46:19.580 Yeah.
00:46:19.860 I should be asleep.
00:46:20.720 I think kids should be able to sleep until they wake up.
00:46:24.260 Like, if I have kids, they're going to be homeschooled.
00:46:25.800 And school don't start.
00:46:26.800 The teacher don't even get here.
00:46:27.760 I'm not calling the teacher over until you wake up.
00:46:30.840 Yeah.
00:46:31.000 You're growing still.
00:46:32.260 Right.
00:46:32.400 Your brain isn't even functioning fully yet.
00:46:35.360 You know what I mean?
00:46:35.920 Yeah, and we got you up at 6.30 in the morning.
00:46:38.140 And then they, who knows what they're feeding them.
00:46:39.900 Yeah.
00:46:40.180 I think the most important.
00:46:40.940 Sugar right out of the gate. 1.00
00:46:41.460 I think, I think until you're about 13, 14, you should be, until you're done growing
00:46:47.340 height-wise, you should be sleep, you know, you can be on a sleep schedule.
00:46:52.740 Yeah.
00:46:53.160 You know what I mean?
00:46:53.480 But you can't force a kid to go to sleep.
00:46:55.040 You're going to be in their room playing, you know what I mean?
00:46:58.080 Yeah, looking for something.
00:46:58.900 Building four tents.
00:46:59.440 Remember looking for something? 0.99
00:47:00.720 Dude, I remember looking for something one time for fucking six days. 0.98
00:47:02.580 Prowling around. 0.99
00:47:03.200 Six days.
00:47:04.000 Just prowling around. 0.99
00:47:05.140 I didn't sleep for six, I was looking for something, man, that I fucking needed. 0.98
00:47:09.620 What was it? 0.98
00:47:10.300 I don't know, man.
00:47:11.380 Just looking around.
00:47:12.260 Yeah, but looking, man.
00:47:12.560 You're going to a friend's house, stay the night, and then you stay at a friend's house,
00:47:16.860 and then y'all are prowling around the garage, and the grandma come out.
00:47:20.320 So how about that prowling around?
00:47:21.980 Yeah.
00:47:22.500 You prowling around the garage.
00:47:25.160 Get back in here and play RBI baseball or something.
00:47:27.340 Yeah, they don't know.
00:47:27.660 I'm going to make y'all some Coke floats.
00:47:30.580 What about a real beer for Coke floats over here?
00:47:32.800 All right.
00:47:33.240 Yeah. 0.99
00:47:33.720 Let me get y'all some water floats and have fucking vanilla ice cream and water. 1.00
00:47:37.240 Yeah. 0.99
00:47:37.720 Let me get y'all some Dr. Thunder.
00:47:39.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:43.000 They didn't have Dr. Pepper.
00:47:44.640 AC on 50.
00:47:45.980 Yeah, yeah, AC on 50.
00:47:47.300 But they saved money on the soda.
00:47:49.660 Saved 20 cents.
00:47:51.000 Cut coupons.
00:47:52.840 Yeah, what y'all doing out here?
00:47:53.840 Remember when people used to have coupons in the mail?
00:47:55.700 They don't even send coupons no more. 0.96
00:47:56.920 They don't give a fuck if you have a discount. 0.99
00:47:58.440 What the fuck is the point of having a mailbox if you don't get any damn coupons? 1.00
00:48:00.700 Give me the only good thing is them damn when you get those fucking little damn squares of like you peel off the thing. 1.00
00:48:08.480 You put 10 CDs that you want on there for one penny and you mail those off that and coupons. 1.00
00:48:13.860 You should get cool shit in the mail now. 0.94
00:48:15.580 Nothing. 0.99
00:48:16.660 They send you a bank statement or some shit. 1.00
00:48:20.120 Wait, why is my bank statement in a mailbox that I didn't even tell you to mail this shit? 1.00
00:48:27.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:48:27.900 And anybody can just walk up and see that.
00:48:28.660 Anybody can walk up and get it.
00:48:29.580 Get your money.
00:48:30.240 Get your information right there. 1.00
00:48:31.340 I'm going to take my fucking mailbox out of the damn ground. 1.00
00:48:34.600 Yeah, they say that people's identity theft, you can fucking go. 1.00
00:48:37.940 It's sitting in a box at the end of my driveway. 0.97
00:48:39.700 Give me coupons.
00:48:41.220 Remember that?
00:48:41.820 Bring coupons.
00:48:42.160 50% off Pop-Tarts.
00:48:44.440 You can even.
00:48:44.960 I bet you there's some CD.
00:48:46.080 There's a company.
00:48:47.000 There's a company.
00:48:47.800 There's got to be companies out there that are sitting on hundreds and thousands of millions of Duran Duran CDs, Soul Asylum, Porno for Pyros. 0.99
00:48:56.420 They're just sitting on ancient fucking CDs, tapes. 0.99
00:48:59.820 I'll buy all those for one cent a piece. 0.99
00:49:01.920 Oh, dude.
00:49:02.480 Right now?
00:49:03.980 Make posters out of them.
00:49:05.040 Sell them.
00:49:06.960 I'd go buy a tape player. 1.00
00:49:08.660 I saw a yellow Sony Walkman fucking headset and I'd go jogging around listening to fucking Madonna's greatest hits. 0.99
00:49:16.520 Oh, that jog wire, dude. 0.99
00:49:17.680 I could see you.
00:49:18.240 That cat is loose, bro.
00:49:19.880 I could see you out of the street.
00:49:22.000 With the biggest headphones ever, bro. 1.00
00:49:23.760 This fucking big, bro. 0.99
00:49:26.660 Press down play and record. 1.00
00:49:28.080 You put the tape in the earpiece, bro. 1.00
00:49:31.120 That's how big the fucking headphones are. 1.00
00:49:33.540 Damn. 1.00
00:49:36.200 Bro, I could see you. 1.00
00:49:38.100 Yeah, I could see you rocking them.
00:49:39.980 You should make those.
00:49:41.280 Dude, you know how many people would love those? 1.00
00:49:43.480 Put a fucking helmet on with a CD on top. 1.00
00:49:45.520 Tape player on the side. 1.00
00:49:47.120 Speakers in there.
00:49:48.140 And fresh water in the back.
00:49:49.500 A.C. in there.
00:49:52.420 A.C. in there, right?
00:49:53.300 A.C. Slater.
00:49:54.660 Yeah, dude. 0.99
00:49:55.560 You literally have a picture of fucking Mario Lopez on the back, dude. 0.99
00:50:00.100 And he can hear you and you tell him how cold you want him in there. 0.99
00:50:04.540 Dude, we should start a company, man.
00:50:07.540 That's going to go along with...
00:50:08.820 We're going to have, okay, the five acres, right?
00:50:12.740 Fenced around.
00:50:13.600 Well, this is your dog park.
00:50:14.780 Yeah.
00:50:15.320 $100 to get in.
00:50:16.780 Riff Raff's Ruff Stop at R-U-F-F Stop.
00:50:20.620 Riff Ruff.
00:50:21.460 Riff Ruff.
00:50:22.200 Yeah, where them puppies can come to play. 0.99
00:50:24.080 Riff Ruff's Husky Hub.
00:50:25.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:50:27.040 And sports.
00:50:27.840 You can bring your...
00:50:28.700 It's five.
00:50:29.160 So big, you can bring your mobile home, bring your dog.
00:50:32.020 Every item that comes in there is $100 an hour.
00:50:34.380 Yep.
00:50:34.600 No matter what you bring in. 1.00
00:50:35.500 If you're bringing your mobile fucking... 0.99
00:50:37.600 You bring your four-wheeler, bring your barbecue pit, that's $200. 1.00
00:50:41.260 Now you got...
00:50:41.860 Oh, you got a Husky and a Chihuahua.
00:50:43.840 Okay.
00:50:44.600 It's another $200.
00:50:45.520 And it's at your own risk.
00:50:46.680 Because if a Husky eats them, then you'll pay for that.
00:50:50.320 But if you have a pit bull and it attacks one of the Huskies,
00:50:52.500 then you'll find a million dollars.
00:50:54.540 Right.
00:50:55.060 That's that rule.
00:50:55.520 You entering is at your own risk of liabilities.
00:50:59.320 That's that risk item. 0.98
00:51:00.460 If you want to bring fucking Allen Iverson to the beach, 0.99
00:51:02.620 you know what I'm saying? 0.99
00:51:03.240 That's that risk item.
00:51:04.000 A batting cage.
00:51:05.760 Yeah.
00:51:05.940 But with tennis balls to shoot out at 50 miles per hour.
00:51:08.360 Just straight fastballs, not crazy sliders.
00:51:10.480 Right. 0.99
00:51:11.060 And then you go fucking speed fucking tester with the pitching thing. 1.00
00:51:15.520 And this dog... 0.99
00:51:16.300 And everything, the dogs can do it or what?
00:51:18.040 What is it like there? 0.98
00:51:18.540 Dogs are running around five acres and fucking mixing it up. 0.99
00:51:21.320 And you can bring your four-wheeler. 0.99
00:51:22.480 You're whipping that four-wheeler, they're going to chase it.
00:51:24.380 And what are the dogs else?
00:51:25.500 Do they have other...
00:51:25.900 It's like an excite bike track.
00:51:27.320 Oh, yeah.
00:51:29.140 Big pool there.
00:51:31.000 What else do they have for the dogs?
00:51:32.220 Different events or something?
00:51:33.280 Yeah, I mean, they should be a... 0.96
00:51:35.960 It could be a fucking, you know, at the football... 0.95
00:51:38.060 Like a dance or something at night? 0.99
00:51:40.040 It should be the light-up squares.
00:51:41.700 And they're running on it and they change...
00:51:43.560 Some hologram cats they can chase around.
00:51:48.100 Foxes.
00:51:49.220 You know what I mean?
00:51:49.940 Yeah, I love that.
00:51:51.320 Dalmatian Station. 0.98
00:51:52.520 If you want to go over there and check out some special bitches. 1.00
00:51:54.600 There's a tennis ball machine just shooting tennis balls out. 0.98
00:51:58.140 All day.
00:51:58.580 Just launching around. 0.99
00:51:59.760 The puppies are going to fucking do backflips. 1.00
00:52:02.220 All day anywhere. 1.00
00:52:02.960 It could be lunchtime and a fucking tennis ball flies through the air. 0.99
00:52:05.900 They're going to have to decide. 1.00
00:52:07.460 Yes.
00:52:08.220 Prime rib or tennis ball.
00:52:11.340 Yeah.
00:52:11.940 They make their own choices, man.
00:52:14.080 And so this is going to be a beautiful place and it's just in Florida.
00:52:16.480 And you're going to be there sometimes?
00:52:17.720 Or how does it go?
00:52:19.340 I'm going to damn near live there.
00:52:20.760 I love that.
00:52:21.560 You're the referee, bro. 0.99
00:52:22.580 You're going to fucking roll around and tell them what's going on. 0.99
00:52:26.040 I love that, dude. 0.98
00:52:26.760 You're going to be there, too.
00:52:27.560 Dude, I'll be there.
00:52:28.120 Could I work there?
00:52:29.740 It's all play.
00:52:30.700 Two weeks out of the year, man.
00:52:32.800 I want to whistle, too.
00:52:33.820 Like a quiet whistle, though.
00:52:35.060 Nothing heavy.
00:52:35.600 Do whatever you want.
00:52:37.280 Dude, I would love that, man.
00:52:38.780 I want to work in the gift shop.
00:52:40.720 They're going to have a gift shop, too.
00:52:42.240 You know, like in the NFL with the cooling fans blow snow out?
00:52:45.920 That's everywhere. 1.00
00:52:48.020 Damn. 0.99
00:52:49.420 I love that, man. 1.00
00:52:51.220 Snowy sweats.
00:52:52.420 Five hours. 1.00
00:52:53.220 Yeah, damn. 1.00
00:52:53.760 Is that sweat? 1.00
00:52:54.320 That's fucking snow, man. 1.00
00:52:55.400 Sports gloss. 1.00
00:52:56.100 It's summertime.
00:52:56.800 That's sports gloss.
00:52:58.040 That lost boss.
00:52:59.240 Let's play another.
00:52:59.980 We got another question that came in here.
00:53:01.480 Let's get into another one here.
00:53:03.760 Yo, what up, Theo?
00:53:04.980 What up, Riff Raff?
00:53:06.160 It's your boy, Dustin, coming at you from Texas.
00:53:08.520 Big fan of both of you guys.
00:53:10.460 My question is, what is your favorite sports player from the late 80s, early 90s?
00:53:15.500 I got to say, mine's probably Bo Jackson, so let me know what you guys think.
00:53:20.000 Gang, gang.
00:53:20.780 Gang, gang, man.
00:53:22.420 That's a good one, Riff.
00:53:23.420 What you think?
00:53:24.620 What comes to mind?
00:53:27.020 Sports?
00:53:27.740 I mean, there's so many.
00:53:29.140 I'd have to say probably Deion Sanders.
00:53:31.600 I remember, I think it was when he got drafted, and he had nugget gold jewelry, and he had
00:53:38.440 a mullet.
00:53:40.180 Yes, he had it.
00:53:40.840 You could look at it.
00:53:41.440 I mean, he had the cray, the glasses.
00:53:43.580 He wasn't playing.
00:53:44.920 No.
00:53:45.780 He looked good.
00:53:49.220 He played good, and he could back it up, and he was about sports and about winning.
00:53:53.300 He showed up as a champion.
00:53:54.520 And he looked good doing it.
00:53:55.360 He showed up as a champion.
00:53:56.920 Deion Sanders.
00:53:57.800 Yeah, Bo Jackson is another one.
00:53:59.280 And I heard they put a weight bench in his house to make it so when scouts would come
00:54:04.160 through, they'd think he worked out, but I don't think he ever touched a weight a day
00:54:06.780 in his life.
00:54:07.520 Man.
00:54:08.160 And he was a legend, man.
00:54:09.100 He was one of a kind.
00:54:10.620 I'm trying to think of anybody else that I tried to be.
00:54:13.080 There weren't any.
00:54:15.120 I mean, Michael Jackson.
00:54:16.140 Oh, he said baseball, huh?
00:54:18.080 Or did he?
00:54:18.680 He said sports in general.
00:54:19.500 Michael Jackson.
00:54:20.240 I mean, obviously, Michael Jordan was great.
00:54:22.340 There wasn't a lot of.
00:54:23.440 Pistol Pete Maravich was from my area.
00:54:25.340 Man, I watched that movie.
00:54:26.780 You ever seen his movie?
00:54:29.340 The Pistol, I think.
00:54:30.440 Yeah.
00:54:31.180 Yeah.
00:54:31.600 What about him growing up and he dribbled basketball everywhere?
00:54:33.600 I used to do that.
00:54:34.960 Dribble a tennis ball, dribble a basketball, just anything.
00:54:37.460 Wear the basketball down, wear holes in my shoes.
00:54:39.840 You remember going for a walk in the neighborhood, taking a ball with you?
00:54:42.340 Remember that?
00:54:42.680 You take it everywhere.
00:54:43.540 Yeah.
00:54:43.840 And if somebody saw you dribbling basketball, oh, he's a basketball player.
00:54:46.220 Yeah.
00:54:46.900 Oh, he's trying out next year.
00:54:48.780 They're going to know what I'm doing.
00:54:50.280 You're going to see what I'm about.
00:54:51.880 They driving by.
00:54:52.760 They don't think you're about nothing.
00:54:54.500 I'm about basketball. 1.00
00:54:55.280 Yeah, I'm about fucking hoops, bitch. 1.00
00:54:57.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:54:57.800 Everywhere. 1.00
00:54:58.440 I'll fucking hoop on your whole family. 1.00
00:54:59.860 You got a two-year-old in the back. 1.00
00:55:01.000 He's looking at you. 1.00
00:55:02.120 Flip that little motherfucker off. 1.00
00:55:03.440 I'll dribble down the damn cereal aisle and throw some Nabisco treats. 1.00
00:55:07.940 Yeah, bro. 1.00
00:55:08.420 I'll fucking do it. 0.98
00:55:08.900 I don't want that. 0.99
00:55:09.720 I don't want no food.
00:55:10.580 I'm sports. 0.99
00:55:11.320 I'll dunk in donuts on your neck, bro. 1.00
00:55:13.060 I'll fucking, I'll give you a fucking, I'll give your cousin some DimaTap, dude. 1.00
00:55:16.660 I don't give a damn, bro. 1.00
00:55:18.180 I'll put Band-Aids on your grandmother, bro. 1.00
00:55:21.040 I don't give a fuck, man. 1.00
00:55:22.260 That was a different time, man. 1.00
00:55:25.140 Different.
00:55:26.360 You had to be about something.
00:55:27.700 Yeah, remember that?
00:55:28.500 You had to pick something and do it, and that's what you're about.
00:55:30.940 Now people just are fighting.
00:55:32.220 Everybody, I'm a, I'm a, like, I'm a rapper.
00:55:34.240 All right.
00:55:34.640 This is like a club, right?
00:55:35.960 You go to, you go to, you got to do a little hideaway, duck out club.
00:55:39.460 And when everybody starts pouring in there, you're like, man, I'm out.
00:55:42.420 I'm out.
00:55:43.280 Everybody now, this just, okay, what's, what's.
00:55:45.400 Yeah, this turned into structure, man.
00:55:46.920 I don't know what the hell's going on.
00:55:48.360 This turned into, yeah, this turned into Estee Lauder. 0.99
00:55:51.940 Man, this turned into, damn, it's a big-ass Walmart. 0.99
00:55:55.540 Yeah, bro, let's see if I'm. 0.99
00:55:56.840 All right, y'all be here now.
00:55:58.180 I'm going to show up at 120.
00:55:59.760 Yeah.
00:56:01.420 And when y'all, y'all done?
00:56:03.500 Y'all done yet?
00:56:05.500 Yeah, I think there's something to that, man, that's showing up when everybody's going.
00:56:08.660 Let's get one more question that came in, man.
00:56:12.160 Yo, Theo, it's your boy Ryan from Illinois.
00:56:14.940 Born and raised, baby, what's up?
00:56:17.140 I got a question for you and the Vanilla Gorilla himself.
00:56:20.980 See, I've been trying to put on them gains, baby.
00:56:24.960 And I'm looking for all natural solutions.
00:56:26.840 Hey, rest in peace, Billy Conforto.
00:56:28.880 I know what you and him were doing on the side of that highway, brother.
00:56:31.480 But I'm looking for that natural solution.
00:56:34.660 Gang, bro.
00:56:35.580 I used to use steroids with my buddy.
00:56:36.860 He was a busboy, but he died.
00:56:38.740 Yeah.
00:56:40.500 So natural solution, man, you're in way better shape than I am.
00:56:43.560 Right now, what I'm doing, okay, so me personally, I'm about comfort and feeling.
00:56:50.540 If I gain too much weight, I'm focused too much on just building muscle and not caring
00:56:55.020 about just, and you could get bigger by just eating everything, you know what I mean?
00:56:59.320 But if you want to feel good and gain muscle strength, I'm learning that stretching helps.
00:57:06.600 But food is like 80% of how you're going to feel, you know what I mean?
00:57:12.520 So what I'm trying to do now is I'm going to eat as much vegetable.
00:57:15.680 If you eat a stir-fried pan of just broccoli, that has protein in it, you know what I mean?
00:57:21.820 I'm eating that.
00:57:22.600 I'm eating, they have these new tuna fish packets.
00:57:26.140 And you tear them open and mix some, I chipe up some pickles and mayonnaise.
00:57:31.600 And I eat like two or three packs of that tuna fish.
00:57:34.840 That's me personally.
00:57:36.520 And consistently drinking water so you get that pump.
00:57:39.640 You feel good.
00:57:40.780 Water, vegetables, low carb, high protein, a lot of water.
00:57:45.280 It's like cliche because that's obvious.
00:57:48.500 But when you repeatedly just do that, do that, do that for days, you start waking up with more energy
00:57:54.260 and you want to work out more.
00:57:55.620 And you feel good.
00:57:55.960 So once you can get to that stage where you actually want to work out more and you realize,
00:58:00.120 oh, it's like putting gas in your car.
00:58:01.700 You don't take a Snickers bar and smash it into your gas tank.
00:58:04.940 It has to be gas.
00:58:06.080 It has to be pure gas.
00:58:07.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:08.380 You know what I'm saying? 0.98
00:58:08.980 You can't fucking throw some corn nuts in there. 0.99
00:58:10.800 Nah, it's like, oh, well, here's some fucking Hawaiian punch, the green kind. 0.99
00:58:15.040 Let me see what this does. 0.99
00:58:16.500 You can't do that.
00:58:17.920 It has to be gas.
00:58:19.020 So like your body is just like it requires a certain thing.
00:58:22.680 And right now what I'm starting to do is be like, okay, if we were 100 years ago,
00:58:27.860 you know, AC just got invented recently.
00:58:29.780 You know what I mean?
00:58:30.340 Like processed food where if it didn't, if I was a caveman, was this around?
00:58:37.440 So fruits, vegetables, you know what I mean?
00:58:40.400 Pistachios, almonds, you know what I mean?
00:58:42.600 Even like meat.
00:58:43.740 Like I try not to eat meat because I'm just like it had to be a caveman looking at like
00:58:50.420 a lion tearing apart a deer and be like, I guess I'll try that.
00:58:54.840 Right.
00:58:55.040 Somebody's eating.
00:58:55.720 If they're eating it, if that lion is strong and he's eating that, then I should eat that. 1.00
00:58:59.120 And so imagine that caveman walking up and taking a chunk out of that fly ridden fucking 0.99
00:59:03.600 deer and that ain't, you know what I mean? 0.99
00:59:05.440 Then you have to add fire. 0.99
00:59:07.160 Like, but imagine being way back in the day and then you find a fucking kiwi. 1.00
00:59:12.400 You're like, what the fuck is this? 1.00
00:59:13.560 Tarantula butt. 1.00
00:59:14.580 Yeah. 1.00
00:59:15.160 You fucking slice it open. 1.00
00:59:16.620 You're eating that. 1.00
00:59:17.220 Imagine.
00:59:17.420 And that tastes good to us today.
00:59:19.460 Yeah.
00:59:19.620 So imagine like back in the day, like, yeah.
00:59:21.620 Okay. 0.98
00:59:21.780 This is, these are like, these are fucking hidden gems. 0.99
00:59:24.840 Yeah. 0.98
00:59:25.140 And they have vitamins and fruits and it's real.
00:59:27.500 You know what I'm saying?
00:59:28.420 So I'm trying to like be on like fruits and water.
00:59:31.260 So you're thinking of things that are real, things that somebody could find if they're
00:59:34.160 high, if they're back in the day, they could find.
00:59:36.380 Yeah.
00:59:36.580 And I think that's what we're supposed to eat. 0.98
00:59:38.220 I think there's hidden like fucking clues in the world and you just have to find them. 0.99
00:59:41.580 But if you're too focused on some bullshit, then you aren't going to be thinking like 1.00
00:59:45.440 that. 1.00
00:59:45.920 And you're putting the shit in you. 1.00
00:59:48.340 Yeah. 1.00
00:59:48.520 It's how you feel.
00:59:49.260 It's how you think.
00:59:49.880 It's how you see.
00:59:50.500 It's how you, you know what I mean?
00:59:51.680 Do you think your diet affects the way that you think?
00:59:54.240 Hell yeah.
00:59:55.620 If you aren't in a good mood and if you physically, like imagine you're hung over.
00:59:59.620 Mm-hmm.
01:00:00.040 If you're hung over, you can't think about what, how your dog feels.
01:00:04.260 You can't think about how your friends feel, how you're, if you have a girlfriend, you can't
01:00:07.680 think about that. 0.98
01:00:08.200 You're like, oh, just fucking make me feel better. 0.99
01:00:10.160 I need to feel better. 0.99
01:00:11.440 You're like, you know what I mean?
01:00:12.620 You're, you're, you're thinking, you're thinking inward.
01:00:14.860 Yeah.
01:00:15.120 When you can, when you think clear and you're, that's why I want to, when you work out early
01:00:19.000 in the morning and blood flowing and blood gets to your brain, you're like, okay, I'm
01:00:21.760 ready for the day.
01:00:22.320 I'm good.
01:00:22.840 Yeah.
01:00:23.600 You know what I mean?
01:00:24.200 You get that blood flowing and you get thinking clear, then you give off a whole different radiation.
01:00:30.600 Yeah.
01:00:31.020 And I'm trying to, and that's what I'm going towards.
01:00:32.840 I'm not there yet.
01:00:33.520 I'm just, I take little bits and pieces that everybody I see or that everybody does.
01:00:37.920 And then I'm like, you can't do everything that somebody says.
01:00:40.700 No.
01:00:41.060 And I don't want to give advice to somebody.
01:00:42.580 I could, but I can tell you what I'm doing right now.
01:00:44.960 Yeah.
01:00:45.400 And I'm, that's what I'm in right now.
01:00:46.920 Yeah.
01:00:47.060 Your experience.
01:00:47.780 Yeah.
01:00:47.860 You can always share your experience.
01:00:49.540 Yeah.
01:00:49.900 That's one thing I've kind of learned over time is, yeah.
01:00:52.520 Sometimes I try to be careful with my ego, you know, it's like, I try to just, cause
01:00:57.120 the ego can be so dangerous, you know?
01:00:58.700 So I try to just, if you think you're thinking inward, you have to outward.
01:01:02.280 Yeah. 0.99
01:01:02.940 You can't think about shit too much. 0.99
01:01:05.200 Yeah. 1.00
01:01:05.600 Yeah.
01:01:05.900 And then I have more fun too.
01:01:07.140 When I start really getting stuck on myself or stuck on what's going on, I find I get
01:01:10.420 negative.
01:01:11.200 I get scared.
01:01:11.980 I operate from a place of fear.
01:01:13.400 You know what I mean?
01:01:14.060 You gotta, you, you, and that's why I want to, if you can get yourself feeling good, then
01:01:20.240 you're like, Oh, this is good.
01:01:21.580 Yeah.
01:01:21.940 Hair blowing in the wind, riding a bike.
01:01:23.740 You're like, okay, dude, this is good.
01:01:26.760 Yeah.
01:01:27.020 We're flipping the four wheeler around.
01:01:28.940 That was the most fun I had.
01:01:30.400 Right.
01:01:30.860 Riding that bike, dude.
01:01:32.320 One of the neighbors looked at me like I might steal something. 1.00
01:01:34.620 I'm like, fuck you. 1.00
01:01:35.240 She didn't want to wave. 1.00
01:01:36.000 I had to wave at her.
01:01:36.740 Yeah. 0.99
01:01:36.880 I saw you fucking start that wave, dude. 0.98
01:01:38.820 It changed her vibe up though. 0.97
01:01:39.920 Hey, how you doing?
01:01:41.500 She gave a little one to you.
01:01:42.740 Yeah.
01:01:42.980 She had waved at the other guy in the car.
01:01:45.060 Hi.
01:01:45.420 And she'll try to scurry out. 1.00
01:01:47.260 Nah, nah, nah.
01:01:48.880 You're going to wave around here.
01:01:50.600 Yeah.
01:01:50.760 Oh, you're going to wave him.
01:01:53.760 Oh, yeah.
01:01:54.120 You're going to wave, baby.
01:01:55.580 Waverly Estates.
01:01:56.660 Yeah.
01:01:57.140 Yeah.
01:01:57.620 Welcome.
01:01:58.420 Yeah.
01:01:59.180 Welcome to the wave pool.
01:02:00.580 Yeah.
01:02:00.920 You know what I'm saying?
01:02:01.620 This is the deep end.
01:02:02.860 Yeah.
01:02:03.080 You're going to join the wave.
01:02:04.240 Yeah. 0.99
01:02:04.640 You're going to fucking, yeah, by this afternoon, you're going to be doing this in the yard. 0.99
01:02:08.240 She didn't want to. 0.99
01:02:08.860 She hated that.
01:02:09.700 She's like.
01:02:10.140 Yeah.
01:02:11.560 Yeah, she did.
01:02:13.700 Pesky.
01:02:14.580 He's riding a four wheeler.
01:02:16.380 Those hater waves, man.
01:02:17.820 All right.
01:02:18.660 Dude, you keep it young.
01:02:19.520 I can't wait to see this dog park.
01:02:20.740 Man, I can't wait to come and work at it.
01:02:22.480 I'm going to be the lifeguard in the puppy pool.
01:02:25.380 Whatever you want.
01:02:26.060 And if they piss in it, I don't care.
01:02:27.360 I'm going to look the other way.
01:02:29.140 Saltwater and Laffy Taffy.
01:02:30.900 Saltwater Taffy is over there.
01:02:32.040 Free Saltwater Taffy for everybody.
01:02:33.180 It's going to be a cooling little cabana.
01:02:36.400 Some barbecue.
01:02:38.000 Because people love their pets so much, they would love it.
01:02:40.540 Man, it's a whole different vibe being around animals versus.
01:02:43.540 They don't ask for clothes.
01:02:44.680 They don't ask for Instagram.
01:02:45.900 Yeah. 1.00
01:02:46.180 They don't care about none of that shit. 1.00
01:02:49.720 They're rocking fur coats, trampling around all day. 1.00
01:02:52.100 All they want is some hugs and fucking lunch meat. 1.00
01:02:56.640 Yeah. 1.00
01:02:58.100 That's beautiful hugs and ham, dude. 1.00
01:02:59.560 That's that fucking. 1.00
01:03:00.320 Ham hawks. 1.00
01:03:01.240 Them ham hawks brought us away to something's heart.
01:03:03.060 Riff Raff, man.
01:03:05.320 Thank you so much.
01:03:06.000 I'm so grateful that Simon, you know.
01:03:09.820 He hooked us up.
01:03:10.800 He hooked us up.
01:03:11.760 Somewhere along the line.
01:03:12.940 Because he was the first one.
01:03:14.140 He loves you, man.
01:03:14.440 He was the first one to show me you.
01:03:17.500 You know what I mean?
01:03:18.040 Yeah.
01:03:18.420 Yeah.
01:03:18.700 He's always like, yeah. 0.99
01:03:20.400 He is always on some new shit. 1.00
01:03:23.120 He's always on the health shit. 1.00
01:03:24.460 Yeah. 1.00
01:03:24.740 He always looks the same.
01:03:25.940 Yeah.
01:03:26.360 Looks great.
01:03:27.040 He always looked the same.
01:03:27.880 You know what I mean?
01:03:28.340 Same 7% body fat for the last 30 years. 1.00
01:03:30.900 Damn, dude. 1.00
01:03:31.400 Yeah. 1.00
01:03:31.900 No, he's always on like the next thing.
01:03:33.940 And he's somebody else who's very influential just in real life.
01:03:37.640 You know what I mean?
01:03:38.400 Yeah.
01:03:38.720 No, man.
01:03:39.140 He's the one who gave.
01:03:40.540 I remember he told people.
01:03:41.920 He deserves way more credit than he gets.
01:03:43.580 To me, he should be in so many movies.
01:03:45.920 Yeah.
01:03:46.460 You know what I mean?
01:03:47.080 Well, yeah.
01:03:47.440 He should.
01:03:47.900 I mean, also, he stays so busy, though.
01:03:49.740 I think he always.
01:03:50.120 Yeah, he definitely is.
01:03:51.220 Don't get me wrong.
01:03:51.700 He's always in another world.
01:03:52.200 Don't get me wrong that he's not successful.
01:03:54.020 No, no.
01:03:54.300 He's successful.
01:03:54.700 And he's just got that mobile home, so he travels. 1.00
01:03:57.060 He's always on some shit. 1.00
01:03:58.460 Yeah. 1.00
01:03:58.640 And he's on his own thing.
01:03:59.940 And I respect that.
01:04:01.640 Man.
01:04:02.720 I know I look up to him so much.
01:04:03.880 Definitely.
01:04:04.260 Me too.
01:04:04.940 He's the one, man.
01:04:06.280 But, dude, it's an honor.
01:04:07.220 And I really appreciate you letting us be here today, man.
01:04:09.540 Hey, I'm glad to have you.
01:04:10.840 You're the first human in here.
01:04:12.160 I know.
01:04:12.500 That's cool.
01:04:13.120 Yeah.
01:04:13.720 Yeah, man.
01:04:14.200 It was a pleasure to meet Mike.
01:04:15.040 Pleasure to meet Ari.
01:04:15.960 All right.
01:04:16.240 I got to get your barber to give me a one-line cut.
01:04:17.920 Yeah.
01:04:18.140 Let's get him on the one line.
01:04:19.800 He got to.
01:04:20.880 Because this is my first time here.
01:04:22.080 I get one line.
01:04:22.640 Oh, yeah.
01:04:23.100 Give him the one line.
01:04:23.840 And then we'll knot you up two next time. 0.99
01:04:25.760 Next time.
01:04:26.300 Gang, bro.
01:04:26.760 I respect that.
01:04:27.520 Then you can get that Versace veteran level with the three.
01:04:30.080 Oh, wow.
01:04:30.860 Yeah.
01:04:31.340 That's at the dog park.
01:04:34.080 Yeah.
01:04:34.320 I might need to read the handbook on that one.
01:04:37.820 I think he's going to grab the barber clips.
01:04:39.660 Good.
01:04:39.900 We'll get it in.
01:04:40.700 Rip, thank you so much, man.
01:04:41.620 Thank you.
01:04:42.080 I really appreciate it.
01:04:42.980 I appreciate it.
01:04:43.680 Now, I'm just floating on the breeze.
01:04:46.880 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:04:49.860 I must be cornerstone.
01:04:54.980 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
01:05:00.580 I can feel it in my bones.
01:05:03.980 But it's going to take a little time For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind
01:05:16.280 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories
01:05:26.180 Shine on me And I will find a song I will sing it
01:05:36.720 Just for me
01:05:38.760 And now I've been moving way too fast On a runaway train with a heavy load of my
01:05:49.200 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite And welcome to Kite Club
01:05:56.420 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:06:00.080 Stand-up stories And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:06:03.620 The answer may shock you
01:06:05.520 Sometimes I'll interview my friends Sometimes I won't
01:06:08.860 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:06:12.360 You have three new voice messages
01:06:15.240 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:06:18.240 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:06:21.040 Longer than anybody else
01:06:22.680 So great
01:06:23.480 Aye, sweet eye
01:06:25.460 Here's a deal
01:06:26.520 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club 1.00
01:06:28.960 Is a dodgy bloody wanker 1.00
01:06:31.020 Jermaine 1.00
01:06:31.720 Ho ho, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry
01:06:36.040 Sorry sir, but our ice cream machine is broken
01:06:37.880 Ho ho ho 0.99
01:06:39.300 No
01:06:39.800 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me
01:06:42.840 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is
01:06:45.240 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:06:46.960 Second rule of Kite Club is
01:06:48.900 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:06:51.140 Third rule
01:06:51.940 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts
01:06:54.800 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:06:57.180 And yes, don't worry
01:06:58.220 My Brad Pitt impression will get better