This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Sadie Hawkins ｜ This Past Weekend #243

00:00:00.000 You know, I always have felt like life was happening at me, or to me.

00:00:14.940 And the other day somebody said, hey, you know, life is happening for you.

00:00:23.220 And it really gave me a softer, just put me at ease.

00:00:26.820 Like somebody just hit a quilt just under my skin suddenly, you know, just like somebody just wrapped like a million gooses just around my neck or something. 0.73

00:00:37.100 It just made me feel more comfortable hearing that.

00:00:40.140 That life isn't happening to me, it's happening for me.

00:00:48.540 Because I always had this pressure that I'm just standing in the wind.

00:00:51.720 And I don't even, and nobody else can even feel the wind, but me, man, I'm like, it's windy.

00:00:58.680 I'm always just standing in the wind, but there really is no wind.

00:01:03.600 It's just me thinking that life is happening to me.

00:01:09.180 But life is happening for me, man.

00:01:12.240 We got this.

00:01:13.780 Let's get this.

00:01:14.980 A couple different ways to say it.

00:01:24.840 A few variations for you.

00:01:29.180 Let me take you right here on this little hit. 0.99

00:01:31.000 Celebrate living.

00:01:48.440 Celebrate misery.

00:01:52.740 You know that soon we're gonna die. 0.98

00:01:56.700 Let's have some fun while we all die.

00:02:06.060 Celebrate dark days. 0.95

00:02:09.500 Celebrate all your pain.

00:02:13.140 Man, I wish I could dance.

00:02:14.120 All of your demons exercised. 0.95

00:02:20.940 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.86

00:02:24.840 Oh, yeah, right there.

00:02:31.020 And you know I'm not a DJ because I cut the song off real hard like that.

00:02:36.600 I cut that song off.

00:02:37.880 You know, a DJ really kind of fades.

00:02:40.260 Like, this is what a DJ would have done right there.

00:02:42.740 A DJ would have done this.

00:02:50.980 Just kind of faded it out.

00:02:52.480 That's not even that good.

00:02:54.540 Jesus.

00:02:56.920 What's up?

00:02:58.740 I could have never been a DJ.

00:03:01.580 Dude, we had a guy when I was young.

00:03:04.640 This dude named John.

00:03:07.520 DJ John, that was his name.

00:03:09.340 Or DJ Ice Cold or something.

00:03:12.140 Or Cold Boy or something.

00:03:15.200 Or, you know, DJ Freezing or something.

00:03:20.160 I don't know what it was.

00:03:20.860 It was just something.

00:03:22.680 It was around the time when ice was like the cool term.

00:03:26.100 Like, Ice Cube was a rapper.

00:03:27.840 Ice T. 0.87

00:03:31.460 Basically, a lot of rappers were named out of things out of the refrigerator, kind of.

00:03:34.940 And they had a guy named John in our town.

00:03:39.800 And he was the only dude that had.

00:03:43.500 He got like the first CD changer.

00:03:47.100 And he would do all of the.

00:03:49.360 He did funerals.

00:03:50.620 He did weddings.

00:03:52.440 He did school dances.

00:03:54.920 Everything.

00:03:55.500 This guy was the music man.

00:03:57.080 And he had an old.

00:04:00.180 It was like.

00:04:02.440 He had a.

00:04:03.900 Horse trailer.

00:04:04.800 You know, a lot of times you see a horse trailer.

00:04:06.740 On the interstate.

00:04:08.840 When somebody's moving a horse somewhere.

00:04:10.900 Or stealing a horse.

00:04:11.720 A lot of times it's stealing.

00:04:13.620 And you.

00:04:14.260 Kids always wave at the horse.

00:04:15.900 Like it's not being stolen or something.

00:04:17.640 But.

00:04:19.420 And.

00:04:20.760 He.

00:04:21.780 And he had a horse trailer.

00:04:23.120 And he would put his stuff in the back of it.

00:04:24.800 And he would show up, dude.

00:04:26.420 And he had some speakers.

00:04:28.340 I mean, one of the speakers had about.

00:04:29.860 Was probably about 15 feet tall, bro.

00:04:33.060 I mean, that thing.

00:04:34.980 If you just set something on top of it.

00:04:36.760 Nobody could ever see it.

00:04:39.140 And that's really how much height was on that sound piece.

00:04:41.860 And.

00:04:42.800 And.

00:04:43.460 And he was the man.

00:04:44.560 DJ Ice.

00:04:45.920 I think it was Ice Boy or something.

00:04:47.420 I don't know. 0.97

00:04:47.680 He had the shittiest name. 0.97

00:04:48.600 But. 0.98

00:04:49.240 But in a small town.

00:04:50.840 First person to get a speaker is suddenly the DJ.

00:04:53.220 First person to get that.

00:04:56.560 That six disc shuffler.

00:04:59.720 Suddenly you got a business.

00:05:04.040 And that.

00:05:04.720 You know, a lot of times.

00:05:05.680 It's just the first person to get there really is the one to get it started.

00:05:10.360 You know, you really become that.

00:05:12.700 He was really the Christopher Columbus of sound in our town.

00:05:17.200 And he'd show up.

00:05:18.460 Things that were real normal before suddenly he'd show up. 0.99

00:05:22.240 You know, you'd be at a funeral and suddenly you'd hear some fucking pour some sugar on me. 1.00

00:05:28.400 Or you'd hear informer. 0.99

00:05:33.960 I love that, man.

00:05:36.820 Dude, this was the time of year they had a dance when I was growing up called Sadie Hawken.

00:05:40.640 And I don't know who Sadie Hawken, I think was someone who had. 0.60

00:05:47.020 I guess it was someone who had a twin or something and the twin died or went missing or was hiding.

00:05:53.080 And the dance was the woman at school had to ask the man. 0.99

00:06:00.460 The girls at school had to ask the boy.

00:06:03.380 And the girls had to ask the boy.

00:06:06.920 And then you had to get a shirt for the person and wear the same shirt.

00:06:12.960 And it was called Sadie Hawken.

00:06:15.980 And you were twins.

00:06:17.600 At that point you were twins.

00:06:18.620 And that's how it kind of tied back into the missing person or whatever.

00:06:22.340 But, dude, I remember Sadie Hawken, bro.

00:06:29.380 And the first day you'd go to school and, like, it was, like, usually about three weeks before people would start asking people.

00:06:36.420 And you'd start seeing a girl across the way and be, like, oh, she might ask me.

00:06:42.300 And then you would hear that she's going with somebody. 1.00

00:06:44.280 You're, like, fuck. 1.00

00:06:46.100 Okay, you know. 1.00

00:06:48.720 You know, Allison isn't asking me, so maybe Katie.

00:06:52.760 Maybe Katie will ask me, you know.

00:06:54.780 And you would wait and then you would hear, oh, Katie's going with Ricky. 1.00

00:06:58.460 You're, like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:06:59.960 I thought they were siblings, but whatever. 1.00

00:07:02.960 And then you'd wait a little longer.

00:07:05.080 Or you'd be, like, oh, yeah, maybe Tiffany, you know. 0.99

00:07:08.080 Maybe Tiffany with them fucking big, you know, with them big knees, bro. 1.00

00:07:13.880 We had a girl named Tiffany had the biggest fucking knees you ever seen, bro. 1.00

00:07:21.280 Just like somebody hit a basketball on each one of her damn legs right in the middle. 1.00

00:07:26.940 And, dude, I remember thinking she was going to ask me one time. 1.00

00:07:31.620 And she didn't ask me.

00:07:36.620 And then I'm, like, Jesus Christ, dude.

00:07:40.240 I'm going to have to go with her.

00:07:41.180 I'm going to have to dance with one of the chaperones. 1.00

00:07:44.820 And so it just got, you know, shit got real minimal. 0.98

00:07:48.180 And then just a friend asked me. 0.98

00:07:53.160 That's who I always ended up.

00:07:54.100 I was always the guy that ended up going to the dance with a friend.

00:07:57.840 You know, some girl. 1.00

00:07:59.640 You know, all, like, I had a buddy, and he was real handsome.

00:08:03.760 And so he got all the, you know, when you were a kid, it wasn't really, people weren't really touching each other's crotches or, you know, doing anything.

00:08:14.080 There wasn't really, like, a lot of sex, but it was just sweating. 0.98

00:08:18.300 You'd just get around someone you really liked, and you'd just fucking just sweat by them. 0.96

00:08:22.300 That's how, you know, because you were so nervous. 0.62

00:08:26.580 You know, you would just get around. 0.95

00:08:28.100 I remember this girl, Kitty, man, and I'd get around her, and I would just fucking, I couldn't even talk. 0.93

00:08:32.660 I just fucking loved her so much. 0.98

00:08:35.280 And I just wanted to, damn, I wanted to marry her so bad, bro, even though I was just, like, fucking 11 or something or 10. 0.99

00:08:42.280 Not even 11, man, and I just wanted to marry her so bad, and I'm fucking, all I would do is just stand by her and just fucking sweat and just look like a freak, bro. 0.99

00:08:54.140 But that's how you express love at that age. 1.00

00:08:59.020 You know, I'd sit there like a damn waterfall. 0.99

00:09:03.500 You know, I'd sit there like a, just like the back of a fucking dying whale, bro, just still pretty damp, you know, just glistening. 0.99

00:09:12.280 Just, oh, just nervous. 0.96

00:09:16.280 But when Sadie Hawking came, that was the time it was easier for guys because the girl had to ask you.

00:09:22.640 And then you got the matching shirt, and that was pretty cool.

00:09:26.720 That part was pretty cool when you got that matching shirt.

00:09:29.060 Because we didn't have, like, you know, when I was growing up, my mom would get us a nice outfit and usually one pant and two shirts at the beginning of school.

00:09:39.920 And what I would do is sometimes I would wear the pant the first day.

00:09:46.280 The second day, turn the pants inside out because the inside looks a little bit of a different color and tell people it was a different pant, a DP, you know.

00:09:54.740 And, uh, and anyway, so yeah, so when you got the girl that bought you that shirt, that Sadie Hawking shirt, I remember one time this pretty well-off girl in our town, she was well-off, her name was Emily. 0.98

00:10:09.540 And she was pretty, and she was cute, and she was my friend, and she got me a nice fucking shirt, bro. 0.99

00:10:17.900 Damn, that thing was nice. 0.99

00:10:22.440 I remember, I don't, I remember, I put that thing on, dude, I felt like I was like the, like, just like the mayor's son or something. 0.99

00:10:29.740 Or I felt like I was just a little Fauntleroy at a third or something.

00:10:35.580 I just felt like, I don't know who I felt like.

00:10:41.160 I just remember putting it on, and it felt nice. 0.96

00:10:43.760 It had three or four buttons, and the fabric was real strong, and I remember putting that bitch on and just feeling like a champion. 1.00

00:10:50.860 So that was the nice thing about Sadie Hawkins, you got that free shirt. 0.99

00:10:53.680 Now, some of them, you get a poor girl would ask you, and that bitch give you a damn tank top with a, you know, a little symbol about electricity or something, or one of those city handout tank tops. 1.00

00:11:05.420 You know, it says vote for Jackson or something on the back of it, or vote for, you know, Walter or some kind of shit. 0.99

00:11:12.640 But I remember that Sadie Hawkins, man, that was pretty enjoyable, and that was just, and it was this time of year, that's when it happened in the fall. 0.92

00:11:20.200 And it was just, man, just walking around school, just waiting for a girl to ask you, and then it became closer and closer and closer. 0.91

00:11:30.020 You're like, damn, everybody's been asked now. 0.93

00:11:32.900 I'm like the last one. 1.00

00:11:36.560 Man, that shit. 1.00

00:11:37.620 Dude, being young and going through, like, moments like that is pretty, it really, like, 1.00

00:11:45.880 it's such a...

00:11:50.200 It's so severe at the time.

00:11:55.780 I mean, at that time, there was nothing.

00:11:58.100 I mean, I would get to school.

00:11:59.560 I had to look clean.

00:12:00.640 I had to, you know, look nice.

00:12:02.160 I was waiting for a woman to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins. 1.00

00:12:08.340 I want the free shirt from a rich girl. 1.00

00:12:12.780 But more often than not, bruh, I'd end up with your girl, Thick Tiff, with those fucking double-dribble kneecaps, bruh. 0.99

00:12:25.420 The fucking Reggie Miller of orthopedics, dude, and she would, you know, I'd get that, you know, just that regular baby girl to ask me. 1.00

00:12:33.460 And one girl asked me to dance this one time, man. 0.99

00:12:38.320 Dude, and she carried me during one of the dances. 1.00

00:12:43.880 She fucking really kind of lifted me up and carried me. 1.00

00:12:46.880 And I didn't know what to do, man. 1.00

00:12:51.860 I didn't know what to do except just get an erection, bruh. 0.99

00:12:54.440 Because that's when you're that young. 0.98

00:12:57.880 Dude, when you're real young, you know, when you're about 13, if you get anything, it'll get you a wreck. 0.98

00:13:04.480 Like, I saw somebody get electrocuted one time over there by the, uh, outside of the, uh, Schwegman's, and I fucking popped a boner. 1.00

00:13:13.000 I'm like, what the fuck, man? 0.99

00:13:16.300 You know, like I'm, um, like I'm, like I'm, what the, what is that man's name? 1.00

00:13:23.160 Electric Manor. 0.99

00:13:24.080 Like I'm, um, fuck, I don't know, bruh, whatever. 1.00

00:13:30.220 But damn, yeah, dude, when you were young, now, yeah, now you just, ain't no woman. 1.00

00:13:38.980 I wish they still had Sadie Hawkins for adults. 0.99

00:13:40.960 I think it would be nice.

00:13:43.420 Wouldn't it be cool to walk around town thinking somebody's going to ask you to a dance?

00:13:48.740 Ooh.

00:13:50.200 And I guess that it is still like that with dates, but I think in a small town it would be really beautiful, you know?

00:13:56.340 So if you're like, okay, Sadie Hawkins is coming up in our town, it's a fun thing that everybody still celebrates.

00:14:06.080 So we're going to, somebody gets to ask some, so you get to, you know, everybody's waiting, the girl's going to come.

00:14:12.640 And you're waiting, but that was a fun time in those dances.

00:14:15.180 And it was always around this time of year, around fall or autumn.

00:14:22.120 Trying to think of some other memories I have from this time of year.

00:14:26.340 I really enjoyed when I was young, at this time of year, getting off the school bus in the afternoon because the air, it would be getting darker earlier.

00:14:35.440 And sometimes there would be like a little bit of wind and it would be kind of a little chilly and it would just, I don't know, there was possibility in the air.

00:14:44.360 It was almost like Mother Nature was, was just about to tell us a secret or something.

00:14:55.040 It just something felt, the time of year, something just felt really nice about it.

00:15:00.460 You know, before it got too cold or before it got uncomfortable, just, I don't know.

00:15:09.760 It's just something nice when the air is just, it feels just as, as alive as you are.

00:15:16.980 It's like you guys met each other 50-50.

00:15:20.380 Because in the summer, it's so hot, you know, it's, the world's meeting you at like 95-5 and the, and the winter is the same.

00:15:30.460 You know, if you hang out outside long enough, outside will kill you.

00:15:34.700 That's crazy, dude.

00:15:38.420 In the winter, if you hang out outside long enough, outside will kill you.

00:15:44.460 Don't think Mother Nature ain't a hit man.

00:15:53.980 That's Shady Hawkins, bro. 0.96

00:15:55.480 When she asks you to die, Mother Nature asks you to die, boy, if it's too cold out.

00:16:02.940 But there was that special time of year and, you know, in, in November, right around, you know, Halloween around this time.

00:16:12.380 And it was just, when the air would just kind of, you, I don't know, you'd be walking and sometimes some leaves would just blow right up in front of you.

00:16:24.120 They'd be behind you, but the wind would just pick them and move them right in front of you.

00:16:27.720 And it just felt like the world was walking with you, like there was magic in the air.

00:16:34.540 I love that, man.

00:16:36.200 I love that.

00:16:38.440 And then one thing about living in Los Angeles, you don't get that.

00:16:40.780 You, we, there aren't any seasons here.

00:16:44.440 So it gets to be very much a Groundhog Day and, and you think it's nice, but at a certain point, sometimes it's not that enjoyable because it's just like, oh, it's nice again.

00:16:53.680 It's nice again.

00:16:54.540 It's nice again.

00:16:55.520 You don't, you don't remember.

00:16:58.480 It's like, oh, yeah, it's just like, uh, it is, you know, it's like, I mean, it's, everybody says, but it's like Groundhog's Day.

00:17:08.960 But happy November to you, and thank you for being here and just being a part of my life today, and I'm happy to be a part of your life today.

00:17:17.860 And, uh, and I'm feeling good.

00:17:22.660 You know, I'm feeling hopeful.

00:17:24.500 And so that's where I'm at, and I'm happy to have those feelings today.

00:17:27.360 And I feel, you know, I'm just trying to feel grateful that I'm wake up, you know, today, and I'm feeling good and, um, and that, you know, just like, you know, I'm, well, you know, I'm tired of just feeling like the, the, just, you know, I want the breeze to be at my back.

00:17:50.640 And it's nice, man.

00:17:55.080 Everything is okay, and it's going to be that way.

00:17:58.720 Uh, we got some nice calls that came in.

00:18:00.520 We're going to talk about a couple of different things.

00:18:04.140 Um, what did I do this weekend?

00:18:06.760 Oh, I went and did some yoga.

00:18:08.640 Feeling good about that.

00:18:10.300 I got a fever.

00:18:12.720 Man, I got a fever last night at 1 a.m.

00:18:14.980 Um, and a fever, I think a fever is kind of fun, I think, because it's like you get to take the NyQuil, you get to like, you get to make noises like that.

00:18:35.420 Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night, bro, and I felt like, um, my, I just, there was sweat all under me. 0.99

00:18:42.940 And I'm like, fuck, bro. 0.99

00:18:45.900 I'm like an ocean. 0.99

00:18:47.040 I'm like, you know, like Billy Ocean or whatever, Frank Ocean or whatever that guy's name is.

00:18:51.760 Ron Ocean or something.

00:18:52.840 I don't know what his name is.

00:18:53.600 I think he's, um, he is a musician. 1.00

00:18:56.060 I think he died, actually, but, but damn, dude, I was like, fuck, I'm going to check under my arms for fucking flounders for fish. 0.99

00:19:03.460 Because with as much water as flying out of my body right now, dude, I wouldn't be surprised if somebody's sitting, you know, if one of the neighbors just, you know, baits a hook. 0.99

00:19:12.620 And you can just cast it right out into my belly button because I'm fucking damp as hell. 0.97

00:19:17.820 I wouldn't be surprised if somebody lays a couple of hot trout lines out there back behind my freaking B hole, bro. 0.99

00:19:24.160 Back there in that fucking fern gully. 0.99

00:19:26.860 Because I'm growing some crops, bro. 1.00

00:19:28.420 I've got some real serious body hair about my ass. 0.99

00:19:34.360 So, you know who I am, son. 1.00

00:19:37.540 Looks like my butthole's making a little mitten back there. 0.99

00:19:40.280 A little mitten maker. 0.98

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00:21:42.520 Olivia Hebert sent this Patreon question in.

00:21:46.280 She said,

00:21:48.520 Hey, Theo.

00:21:49.940 I made that part up.

00:21:51.280 She didn't say that, but

00:21:51.960 I hear comedians use the word hacky often.

00:21:56.160 What does that mean?

00:21:58.840 Well, hacky is

00:22:00.400 if a comedian is telling a joke that you've heard other people tell a lot

00:22:04.660 or the same type of premise.

00:22:06.720 A lot of times for me, when I go back and watch my own material, early material, I say,

00:22:13.420 Oh, that's real hacky.

00:22:16.360 That's real.

00:22:18.300 Anybody could do it.

00:22:19.320 That's how, that's my definition of it.

00:22:20.800 Oh, anybody could do that.

00:22:21.960 You know, I remember when I started out doing comedy, I said, I don't want to sell jokes.

00:22:28.000 I want to sell, you know, I want to, I don't want people to remember, I don't want people to remember a joke when they leave.

00:22:35.720 I want people to remember me.

00:22:37.700 I want them to remember, Oh, what, there was some, that guy.

00:22:41.120 I don't care if they leave and they don't remember one of the jokes.

00:22:44.860 That's not important.

00:22:45.760 I want that because the jokes, anybody could do a joke.

00:22:49.560 You know, a dead animal could do a joke.

00:22:52.080 Dude, if you write one, you know, you write the first part of the joke on one side of his body.

00:22:55.860 And then if you flip him over and write the punchline, 0.99

00:22:58.800 then every fucking, you know, every highway armadillo could fucking be Chris Rock. 0.98

00:23:06.760 But what I'm saying is that I want it to be, I want to be, to be, Oh, I want to sell myself. 0.99

00:23:13.240 I want to sell, I want to, I want them to be like, Oh, who was that?

00:23:19.100 So I think one way of trying to be, not be hacky is by just creating things that are true to you or follow your sensibilities.

00:23:30.820 You know, I look back on some of my jokes and sometimes I say, Oh, that's kind of hacky.

00:23:37.000 I wouldn't do that anymore.

00:23:39.440 But then also you evolve.

00:23:40.920 It's really interesting how you evolve in comedy.

00:23:45.400 I mean, I remember I used to do this bit about Brad Pitt and when I met him.

00:23:50.740 Because I did meet him, dude. 0.99

00:23:52.940 The only Brad Pitt that God ever made, bro, met his ass. 0.98

00:23:55.840 And, uh, and I remember after I did that bit, thinking, man, I will never have a bit as good as that in my whole life. 0.99

00:24:10.040 My career is over.

00:24:11.880 My, how can I ever beat that or do as well as that?

00:24:16.100 And now years later, five years later, I can't even remember that bit.

00:24:24.280 I can't even remember it.

00:24:25.840 And it's an, and, and, and to me, I have bits that are, are stories that are far more interesting.

00:24:32.520 So, but hacky to me means, Oh, anybody's I've heard that a million times.

00:24:36.500 I've heard that premise.

00:24:37.440 I've heard that joke. 0.99

00:24:39.040 Uh, an example of a hacky joke is, Oh, um, if you see the, the, the, the comedian using the mic stand as a penis, as a wiener. 0.99

00:24:51.860 If you see, Oh, somebody say, you know, Cialis, four hour penis medicine or whatever. 0.98

00:24:57.760 Um, and they're always like a four hours. 0.99

00:25:02.020 What am I going to do with a penis for four hours? 0.99

00:25:04.840 Um, that's like a real popular hacky joke. 0.99

00:25:07.540 And I, I remember telling that I told that joke when I started everybody, I think sometimes you just need to get your footing.

00:25:14.640 And so, um, and then I think there's comedians that tell hacky jokes.

00:25:20.940 I think all of us, some stuff is sometimes all of us tell something hacky to other people.

00:25:25.300 Like, Oh, everybody will think something that somebody else does is hacky, but that's the answer there.

00:25:30.880 Um, Grace Jensen asked, what's your plans for Thanksgiving?

00:25:36.500 And what is your favorite dish?

00:25:38.480 My plan is to go home to New Orleans, uh, and to Louisiana and see my family.

00:25:45.120 You know, I'm really, I got five beautiful nieces and nephews and three siblings.

00:25:51.820 And, uh, and she said, and what is your favorite dish?

00:25:54.480 You know, I like them sweet potatoes.

00:25:55.800 I like them sweet potatoes knew when I was young, we had, they had a cat in our neighborhood.

00:26:02.180 This cat quagmire was his name.

00:26:04.540 And he was, he wasn't black, but he was definitely one of his parents was black at least. 0.88

00:26:12.020 And he, man, he had sharp nails. 0.56

00:26:16.240 He had sharp nails.

00:26:18.020 And I used to love one thing I liked to do when I was young.

00:26:20.640 I liked to take my shirt off, you know, a lot of times to show appreciation to people or to just, 0.86

00:26:25.800 you know, a lot of times if somebody did something real cool or something, you take your fucking shirt off and just show them your chest, you know, do a firework if you had it. 0.99

00:26:34.620 But if you didn't have a firework, you just show them that fucking, you just hit them with that fucking baby bird, you know? 0.99

00:26:41.800 And quagmire was this cat and somebody had sharpened his nails in the neighborhood. 1.00

00:26:47.060 And I don't know who did it.

00:26:48.980 People say this guy did it, but, you know, probably somebody that was an alcoholic or a lonely woman.

00:26:56.920 So, but anyway, and I remember sometimes I would lay down and they would put him on my back. 0.99

00:27:02.860 And he would fucking walk on your back, dude. 0.95

00:27:07.400 And it was like very much like a, not like a torture chamber, but man, it was, you know, what am I, it was like Eastern medicine. 0.99

00:27:20.240 What's that call where somebody that's not really a doctor, but like kind of dresses like one fucking, tries to sew you. 0.99

00:27:26.400 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

00:27:33.120 My brain is just, it was full of trans fat, I think. 1.00

00:27:38.080 Aromathetic, no, apothec. 0.60

00:27:41.000 Ah, you know what I'm saying? 0.93

00:27:42.580 It's that thing where the guy, it's like playing darts, but it's fucking a bunch of darts and nobody's keeping score really. 0.96

00:27:48.640 Except that I think maybe Chinese people are kind of, but. 0.95

00:27:51.080 Um, um, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, esthetician, no.

00:28:02.100 Aromatherapy, no.

00:28:03.720 Um, what is it called? 0.99

00:28:06.320 And they fucking put you in a room by yourself. 1.00

00:28:08.180 A lot of times they turn the lights out, they put all the shit inside of you. 1.00

00:28:11.140 Exorcism. 0.99

00:28:13.040 Um, and that's what it felt like, dude, was exorcism. 1.00

00:28:16.020 Um, and, uh, and damn, boy, that fucking cat had the sharpest nails, dude. 1.00

00:28:22.340 I, and I think they put other nails in him. 1.00

00:28:24.440 I swear to God, he, he fucking hit a couple thumbtacks in his own little paws. 0.99

00:28:28.520 Like he'd been in prison or something. 0.99

00:28:30.560 Or like prison, you know, French prison. 1.00

00:28:33.680 Because that dude, he would get on my fucking back, bro. 1.00

00:28:36.400 And God dang, dude. 0.99

00:28:38.800 I would see the future, boy. 0.99

00:28:40.660 And I would fucking feel it, man. 0.97

00:28:44.940 I mean, it just took my brain into warp zones when quagmire would just run up and down my back. 0.97

00:28:50.560 But here was the thing, though.

00:28:52.560 After he would do it for a while, he would eat a sweet potato, this cat.

00:28:57.140 And he would eat a sweet potato right there in front of you.

00:29:01.120 And I never, in all my days, I never seen anything like that still. 1.00

00:29:05.520 When you see a little, beautiful little dark pussy just huffing down a patat, bro. 1.00

00:29:10.340 I wanted him orange poe tots, dog. 0.99

00:29:12.100 I've never seen anything like that in my life. 0.99

00:29:14.620 Still makes my fucking heart swell up. 1.00

00:29:18.660 God dang. 1.00

00:29:20.220 Praise God, bro.

00:29:21.860 But yeah, I like sweet potatoes.

00:29:30.120 Okay, let's get into a couple of other questions here.

00:29:32.500 Oh, Nick went to the fights.

00:29:34.380 Nick went to the Logan Paul KSI fight.

00:29:38.020 So a lot of people don't know Logan Paul.

00:29:40.920 He's, you know, he's like a YouTube guy.

00:29:43.440 And he was in here.

00:29:45.040 He came in here and he was, I thought he was a really gracious young man.

00:29:49.560 And he, and he, the dude is very successful.

00:29:53.640 And he decided to box.

00:29:55.260 And he went into another boxing match.

00:29:57.240 And he fought KSI man.

00:30:00.440 And this is the British.

00:30:01.680 And y'all know, look, dude, the British, bro, I'm not against them, but we left there. 0.99

00:30:09.960 We left Britain because, or England. 0.87

00:30:13.680 We left England because it wasn't working out.

00:30:17.060 So, you know, it's like, it's like, you know, it's, it's, you know, we were, we did it.

00:30:32.220 We did it.

00:30:33.220 And that's why we came over here to start a new England, you know, and try to revamp it and make it more dope.

00:30:39.400 But, um, anyway, they fought and I want to talk with him.

00:30:42.320 I want to talk with Nick because Nick went to the fight, producer Nick.

00:30:45.280 And we're going to get him in.

00:30:46.240 And then we got some great calls about LSU, Woodmill, Gypsies, Stepsons, Premature Uncles, and, and methamphetamines.

00:30:56.800 So, this past weekend is brought to you by Skillshare.

00:31:01.960 And Skillshare, it's, it's, we all need skills.

00:31:05.800 Think about somebody that doesn't have any skills, man.

00:31:10.500 Who, what are they?

00:31:11.540 Usually somebody that's just, you know, just walking around looking for something.

00:31:17.160 Maybe somebody that's playing kickball, but without a ball and without anybody else.

00:31:24.060 So, you have to have skills.

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00:32:22.900 Go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn.

00:32:25.760 Again, go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn.

00:32:30.540 I got some tour dates coming up.

00:32:33.740 I'm going to tell them to you right now.

00:32:35.500 They are.

00:32:37.080 I will be in Lafayette, Louisiana at the Heyman Center.

00:32:40.720 And that's almost sold out.

00:32:43.220 We're going to have proceeds benefiting Dustin Poirier's Good Fight Foundation down there.

00:32:50.060 So I'm excited to do something fun in Louisiana.

00:32:52.920 And that's almost sold out over there.

00:32:55.340 About 2,000 people coming in.

00:32:56.980 We got the Wiltern in Los Angeles December 10th.

00:33:01.000 And then after that, I'll be in Manchester, Dublin, Ireland, Glasgow, London, London, London, Amsterdam, Oslo, and Norway.

00:33:11.360 There are still tickets available for London, Oslo, and Stockholm.

00:33:15.340 This week, tickets for Toronto, Oxon Hill, Maryland, and New Jersey will all go on sale.

00:33:25.100 And now I'm going to do that little rendition for y'all.

00:33:29.500 Misbehavin' by Baby Billy and Amy Lee.

00:33:33.000 Mama told me not to.

00:33:34.400 I did it anyway.

00:33:36.220 Misbehavin'. 0.76

00:33:37.220 Daddy said don't, but I said I'm gonna misbehavin'.

00:33:41.480 Pies on the windowsill swimming in the creek.

00:33:43.600 Catching crawled dads and playing with a stick.

00:33:45.820 I wore lipstick and I got caught.

00:33:47.900 Shaving just two little country kids outside. 0.84

00:33:50.900 Misbehavin'. 0.76

00:33:52.100 So that's a little bit of that for y'all for free right there.

00:33:59.240 All right.

00:34:00.360 What's up, Nick?

00:34:01.300 What's crackin'?

00:34:02.320 Dude, you went to the fight, man.

00:34:04.220 Because I texted you the other day.

00:34:05.420 I said, what's going on?

00:34:06.200 You sent me that picture.

00:34:07.600 You sent me that imagery from the fight, man.

00:34:09.720 Yeah, KSI, Logan Paul.

00:34:11.480 The big rematch.

00:34:13.180 When you got there, what was the energy like kind of walking into the place?

00:34:16.200 Did it seem like the typical energy going into like a boxing match?

00:34:19.440 Did it feel like going to a performance?

00:34:23.000 Kind of what was...

00:34:23.900 It was dead right away.

00:34:25.800 So the main card started at six.

00:34:28.500 There were four fights on it.

00:34:30.880 And we got there right at six.

00:34:33.200 And just no one cared about the fights that were going on.

00:34:36.760 And the first one of the main card was Billy Joe Saunders, who's an undefeated boxer.

00:34:41.380 Like he's a legitimate pro.

00:34:43.220 He won by knockout.

00:34:44.520 He may fight Canelo next. 0.99

00:34:46.000 And like just no one gives a shit in the stadium. 0.99

00:34:49.500 No one cared. 0.98

00:34:50.400 So was it almost awkward that they were...

00:34:51.900 Did it almost seem like they were fighting and people were just like on their phones and like...

00:34:55.060 A hundred percent.

00:34:55.780 There's so many people, so many wannabe influencers and stuff.

00:34:59.260 And then there were some that were popular.

00:35:01.460 I didn't recognize any of them.

00:35:02.900 But they'd walk down the stairs and like a rush of kids would like flood over to them

00:35:07.660 as the fights were going on.

00:35:09.080 Like the fight could have ended and no one would have noticed.

00:35:11.740 Wow.

00:35:12.280 It was a scene.

00:35:13.200 Oh, dang.

00:35:14.680 And did you feel out of place as like an actual kind of fight fan?

00:35:18.640 Did you feel...

00:35:20.200 What was the age vibe in there?

00:35:21.960 What was some of that?

00:35:23.000 It was really mixed.

00:35:24.240 I mean, there were definitely a huge portion of young kids that you wouldn't normally see

00:35:28.820 at a fight.

00:35:29.900 A lot of parents who you could tell like they were just like dragged there and like didn't

00:35:34.480 know what was going on.

00:35:36.420 But then there were like...

00:35:37.740 It seemed like there were some real fight fans, but they're just like sitting there watching

00:35:42.140 the fight.

00:35:42.560 You know, it's not like they're not making a big scene or whatever.

00:35:46.180 Anybody who was there for like Logan Paul fight, like, I don't know, you could pick

00:35:49.780 them out.

00:35:50.420 Okay.

00:35:50.740 I see what you're saying.

00:35:51.540 So there was a couple of fight fans there, but not that many.

00:35:53.860 Yeah.

00:35:54.120 And the ones that were there were just chilling, enjoying the fight.

00:35:56.780 They weren't like...

00:35:58.040 It wasn't all rowdy because the energy just wasn't there.

00:36:01.120 So the energy that wasn't there throughout, what was it like whenever his fight started?

00:36:04.560 That fight, it was like bumping.

00:36:08.460 The crowd went wild.

00:36:10.620 He had like a mix of boos and cheers, but I think for the most part, there was a lot of

00:36:15.220 Logan Paul chants and it was like pro him because it was like USA over England.

00:36:19.660 KSI's from Great Britain or whatever.

00:36:22.000 Yeah.

00:36:22.160 And did you see, was there a lot of action? 0.99

00:36:29.640 Was it good boxing or was it shit boxing? 0.97

00:36:32.460 The first two fights, like I said, they were legitimate boxers, real boxing contenders. 0.98

00:36:37.640 The main event with KSI and Logan, it was Logan, he lost the fight by split decision, which

00:36:45.100 we haven't said, but he looked like a real boxer to me and he looked like the better boxer

00:36:50.520 for sure.

00:36:51.080 KSI, he had a, he had a ton of stamina and he was constantly winging, throwing huge punches,

00:36:55.940 but like Logan looked pretty technical to be honest.

00:36:58.480 It didn't look horrible.

00:36:59.800 The fight right before it, it was like this weird filler fight and it looked like...

00:37:06.260 Who was on the fight car before it?

00:37:07.900 The fight right before it?

00:37:09.360 Yeah. 0.90

00:37:09.780 I'm thinking it was fucking like, I'm just trying to think of who would be on there, dude. 0.96

00:37:12.760 Was it like, um, Thomas the Train versus fucking Scooby-Doo or something? 0.98

00:37:17.560 Yeah. 0.94

00:37:18.560 Uh, these, those guys have way more clout than the guys that fought.

00:37:22.460 I think it was just some weird filler fight and they look like weird versions of Doppelganger

00:37:26.200 of KSI and Logan Paul.

00:37:27.740 It was like this kid with like frosted tips and this other black guy. 0.99

00:37:31.360 I, my theory was they did it to get people who were in the hallway, like back to their

00:37:35.440 seats.

00:37:35.860 Wow.

00:37:36.140 So if you saw it on the TV, you'd be like, oh my God, it started.

00:37:38.860 Did it feel overly produced?

00:37:40.460 Was there a lot of produced stuff?

00:37:41.820 Like I noticed just watching some of it, like, you know, they had like a lot of advertisements

00:37:46.500 and stuff.

00:37:47.300 Did it feel like that?

00:37:48.320 Or did it feel just like they got out there and that, and that, and that's when the fight

00:37:52.360 hit?

00:37:52.800 I mean, it was, I think there were a lot of holdup for advertisements.

00:37:56.340 That's what I mean.

00:37:56.820 I didn't notice a lot of holdups for advertisements specifically.

00:37:59.560 I mean, the walkouts took a long time, but like in big boxing matches, that's kind of

00:38:03.100 the thing.

00:38:03.600 It was promoted by a real, uh, boxing promotion.

00:38:07.180 Eddie Hearn, who's like, he's been around actual boxing for a long time.

00:38:10.600 So it kind of had that same feel and the pacing of it, but I didn't notice the advertisements

00:38:14.820 in the arena.

00:38:16.200 And you also didn't know, it's kind of hard watching boxing when you're in the arena.

00:38:21.260 Cause you don't see everything.

00:38:22.340 And like Logan Paul, a huge moment was in the fourth round.

00:38:25.020 He knocked KSI down, but part of the punches, he was holding his head and doing uppercuts

00:38:29.240 and they took points away and you knew something was going on, but no one announced in the

00:38:33.500 arena what happened.

00:38:34.500 So you're, I didn't even know.

00:38:36.500 Why?

00:38:36.800 And why is that?

00:38:37.380 Oh, because you're there as opposed to hearing it on television or something where you can,

00:38:40.920 the announcers are telling you what's happening.

00:38:42.280 Yeah.

00:38:42.500 Yeah.

00:38:42.640 They're getting told by producers what the judges just did.

00:38:45.920 And then they report it to the people watching at home.

00:38:48.100 But yeah, you didn't know.

00:38:48.980 Um, and it's really hard to score cause they, I tried to focus on the actual ring rather

00:38:53.480 than watching the screen, which you sometimes do when you're at like a big event and, but

00:38:57.240 it's hard to see what lands and stuff.

00:38:58.660 So I had no idea what the decision was going to be once the fight was over.

00:39:02.620 Mostly males in the audience there.

00:39:04.400 Oh yeah.

00:39:05.200 Oh yeah.

00:39:05.920 I mean, there was the Instagram, uh, women influencers you could see like speckled throughout,

00:39:12.160 but yeah, it was, it was all dudes.

00:39:13.780 And was it mostly straight men you think?

00:39:15.680 Or a lot of more gay, was there some gay men or something?

00:39:18.020 Or what did it seem like?

00:39:18.720 Uh, I think they were, they, they tried to present themselves as straight, but who knows?

00:39:22.740 There's a lot of really, really tight pants and, and that whole vibe, just, uh, the Instagram

00:39:27.420 fashion.

00:39:28.140 So I don't know.

00:39:28.840 Who knows?

00:39:29.280 A lot of fashion Nova or something they call it.

00:39:31.500 I brought, I brought a lady. 0.73

00:39:33.520 Oh wow.

00:39:34.140 Really?

00:39:34.720 Yeah.

00:39:35.100 Yeah.

00:39:35.280 She, she loved it too.

00:39:36.420 She did?

00:39:36.920 Yeah.

00:39:37.120 Uh, even if girls aren't, don't think they're fans of fighting, they love going to fights 1.00

00:39:41.600 live.

00:39:42.740 Yeah.

00:39:43.120 You know, that's, that's interesting.

00:39:44.560 Yeah.

00:39:44.700 Cause I was, um, yeah, when I went to the Poirier fight, I took a girl that I was singing 0.98

00:39:48.460 and yeah, shit, they loved it, huh? 0.98

00:39:50.900 What do they love about it, you think? 1.00

00:39:52.240 I don't know.

00:39:52.780 I think I, aphrodisiac, just men, all the testosterone pumping, I think.

00:39:57.160 Yeah.

00:39:57.180 It's the violence, huh?

00:39:58.300 Mm-hmm.

00:39:58.960 Yeah.

00:39:59.280 Something.

00:40:01.000 Yeah.

00:40:01.380 The energy.

00:40:04.940 Yeah.

00:40:05.300 I guess probably cause there's so much machismo going on, it makes them, they, they probably

00:40:09.420 feel more feminine because they're like, you know, they're the opposite side of that. 0.97

00:40:13.220 The sweat pheromones and all that.

00:40:15.460 And were you guys close enough to get any sweat on you or anything like that?

00:40:18.100 No, we, we had, uh, good, good seats.

00:40:20.640 Uh, shout out to our little twink friend, Gianni.

00:40:23.200 He was the one who hooked it up.

00:40:24.500 Oh, really?

00:40:25.160 Through his, uh, publicist, Cassie.

00:40:27.120 Oh, wow.

00:40:27.800 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:28.340 So, uh, we, we had pretty good lower, lower bowl seats and we were, we were row J off

00:40:33.220 the floor.

00:40:33.620 So it was like, we were straight on with, uh, with the ring or whatever.

00:40:37.280 That's awesome, man.

00:40:38.280 Yeah.

00:40:38.500 And was that a date you took?

00:40:39.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:40.180 You guys were matching shirts.

00:40:41.260 Have you ever heard of Sadie Hawkins dance?

00:40:42.720 I am familiar with Sadie Hawkins.

00:40:44.600 The girls asked the guys and it's a little country. 0.99

00:40:47.100 Fucking loved that, bro. 0.98

00:40:49.120 Cause dude, I had such bad acne. 0.98

00:40:50.780 Every time I went near a girl, I was like, oh my God, dude, there's no way she's going to 0.99

00:40:55.340 say yes if there was like a real dance, you know?

00:40:58.000 So it was always so much easier when the girls had to ask the guys.

00:41:01.680 Did you get asked with your acne?

00:41:03.700 Yeah, I got asked by another girl who had pretty bad acne too. 0.98

00:41:06.520 And that was almost fucking so sad, bro. 0.92

00:41:10.820 Girls with acne are smart to go after though. 1.00

00:41:13.580 I mean, that's going to clear up.

00:41:14.680 That's, that's an ugly duckling, uh, waiting to happen.

00:41:17.880 Yeah, man.

00:41:18.560 But I wasn't trying to catch her, you know, years down the river, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:41:22.200 I wasn't trying to fucking. 0.97

00:41:23.400 At least be nice to them. 0.99

00:41:25.380 Yeah, no, she was awesome. 0.98

00:41:26.380 She was smart.

00:41:26.960 We just both had acne. 1.00

00:41:28.140 So then I'm like, oh fuck, we're the fucking acne group. 0.99

00:41:31.440 You know, it just seemed like, and that's back when they had oxy pads. 0.99

00:41:35.540 Remember oxy pads?

00:41:36.500 Oh yeah. 0.99

00:41:36.900 It was like this fucking hot pad. 0.99

00:41:38.640 It had bleach or something in it. 0.99

00:41:39.920 You just fucking rubbed it on your face and it fucking hurt so bad. 0.99

00:41:43.860 Those commercials made them look like magic. 0.99

00:41:45.640 I like, I wasn't young enough to, old enough to have acne when I saw the commercials, but

00:41:49.160 I wanted them.

00:41:50.040 Yeah.

00:41:50.980 Bro, it was not magic.

00:41:52.700 It was not magic, man.

00:41:55.580 I remember, I would clean my shoes with them sometimes. 0.98

00:41:57.620 Dude, those things were fucking intense. 0.89

00:42:00.620 Dude, I had a friend that looked totally different after he used one, bro. 1.00

00:42:03.360 If I could move one of his eyebrows over to the side, this shit was very, I mean, you 0.99

00:42:07.340 could easily do remodeling. 0.99

00:42:08.520 You were like, you had blackface on this whole time. 0.99

00:42:10.440 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:42:11.120 Damn, dude. 1.00

00:42:12.460 Damn, Cedric. 1.00

00:42:13.260 What else? 0.99

00:42:16.040 We had any good news stuff?

00:42:17.880 Yeah.

00:42:18.240 There's some, some wildness going down because of the Popeye's chicken sandwich in Maryland.

00:42:23.560 Oh yeah.

00:42:23.960 Uh, specifically a 28 year old man was stabbed to death.

00:42:27.580 Uh, they didn't release the names, but it was in an altercation after he, uh, cut the

00:42:31.100 line.

00:42:32.020 Well, let me say this.

00:42:33.040 If y'all, if y'all fighting at Popeye's, bro, look, I grew up around New Orleans and they

00:42:37.060 got a St. Charles over there.

00:42:38.420 St.

00:42:38.580 They got the Popeye's over there on St.

00:42:40.800 Charles Avenue and every Mardi Gras, you know, a couple of people pop off over there and

00:42:45.620 gun each other down over a couple of biscuits. 0.99

00:42:48.080 So what I'm saying is I know how good Popeye's is, but y'all got to fucking tighten up, man. 1.00

00:42:55.100 Y'all can't lose y'all shit. 1.00

00:42:56.380 You got to compose yourself in the car before you go in there. 1.00

00:43:00.040 You know, it's a chicken sandwich. 1.00

00:43:01.620 It's this, it's that dude who gives a shit. 1.00

00:43:04.180 Popeye's not even a real person, man. 1.00

00:43:06.260 And it's bullshit anyway. 1.00

00:43:07.460 And you know, half the people in Popeye's, a lot of them have fucking guns and weapons. 1.00

00:43:12.180 So if you're going in there to eat, man, it's risky shit. 1.00

00:43:15.080 You know, it's basically like the Vietnam of fucking fast food, man. 0.99

00:43:18.580 So I think you have to really, I don't know. 0.98

00:43:22.240 It almost seemed like you should take self-defense before you go in there to get something.

00:43:25.220 I mean, they had a guy, they had, they had a Ruben S. gentleman the other day, I think,

00:43:29.680 and it might've even been a, you know, kind of a tender gentleman body slammed a senior

00:43:33.820 citizen woman. 0.99

00:43:34.740 Good God. 1.00

00:43:35.300 In a parking lot at a fucking Popeye's, dude. 0.99

00:43:38.720 What are y'all doing, dude? 1.00

00:43:42.120 What are y'all doing?

00:43:44.020 That's what I'm saying, bro. 1.00

00:43:45.180 You got to bring fucking mace, dog. 1.00

00:43:47.560 If I go into a Popeye's, dude, I'm having one thing of fucking that spray on butter, 1.00

00:43:51.940 which I bring in there anyway when I go. 0.99

00:43:53.800 And then one thing of that spray on mace, dude, and I don't even give a fuck if I mix 0.96

00:43:57.640 them up, dude. 0.72

00:43:58.280 It's spicy anyway in there.

00:44:00.780 You got any closing thoughts on the Popeye's stuff?

00:44:03.860 Just that, uh, like you said, you just never know who you're going to be tussling with.

00:44:09.240 Like, most people in Popeye's have guns, so, like, if someone cuts the line, let them cut

00:44:14.320 the line. 0.99

00:44:14.880 Oh, I saw a dude fucking cook a cup, cook, I saw a dude fucking, uh, cook a drumstick 1.00

00:44:20.700 with a fucking .38 once. 1.00

00:44:23.180 It's crazy. 1.00

00:44:23.760 I mean, it was frozen. 0.98

00:44:24.700 He fucking put 19 bullets into it, and that thing was just beautiful hot. 0.98

00:44:27.900 Um, but stay safe out there, man. 0.99

00:44:31.420 R.I.P., bro.

00:44:32.300 Rest in Popeye's, dog.

00:44:34.760 Uh, what else we got?

00:44:36.220 Uh, so the Nationals, after their World Series win, visited the White House, and, uh, the

00:44:40.800 highlight, the thing that made all the headlines was Kurt Suzuki donned a Make America Great

00:44:46.160 Again hat, and Donald Trump came up and gave him a hug from behind.

00:44:49.360 It was a really cute scene.

00:44:51.180 Oh, I love that, man.

00:44:52.140 That's cool, bro.

00:44:53.400 Dude, I love, I hope that Hillary gets back into the election. 1.00

00:44:55.980 I just, I love the politics is getting so fucking good. 0.78

00:45:00.900 It's like reality TV. 0.92

00:45:02.440 Donald Trump's gonna be in his late 70s, um, after, through the second term.

00:45:08.540 Think about that. 0.99

00:45:10.240 Like, shit is gonna get weird. 0.99

00:45:14.320 I just think, and it's all, everything is becoming like the WWE now. 0.99

00:45:19.660 Everything is becoming just hype.

00:45:21.440 It's all hype.

00:45:22.300 Um, it's kind of becoming every man.

00:45:25.980 For themselves, I feel like. 0.60

00:45:27.340 Or woman or closeted lesbian. 0.59

00:45:29.740 But it's like everybody, it's everybody for themselves. 1.00

00:45:33.080 This shit's gonna get fucking good, dude. 0.99

00:45:35.740 I, yeah, that's what you gotta do. 1.00

00:45:37.000 You gotta be able to remove yourself from it and just, just watch it.

00:45:40.280 Like, go vote.

00:45:41.320 Do your thing.

00:45:42.020 But, uh, other than that, just take it all in.

00:45:43.820 Cause, yeah, the next year is gonna be, uh, it's gonna get vicious.

00:45:46.820 Oh, I wonder if there'll be any, I start to wonder, and it's so fucking funny, bro. 0.51

00:45:54.660 Dude, I, I really, I do, I love watching Donald Trump Jr.'s son, dude. 0.97

00:45:58.980 That dude is fucking, to me, he's very, very funny a lot of times. 0.99

00:46:02.460 Uh, some of the shit that he posts online, but, I mean, I just think politicians, it's 0.99

00:46:07.380 just such an outdated thing, it feels like to me. 0.99

00:46:10.800 Um, but it's just getting great.

00:46:13.620 You see, like, Kanye West is gonna run, supposedly, in 2024.

00:46:17.560 You know, he's Jesus Christ.

00:46:19.200 I mean, everything, there's just, everything's going on.

00:46:21.820 And he's a Republican, I mean, I just, I don't know, man, in a lot of ways, it's really an

00:46:26.620 exciting time.

00:46:28.080 Because here's what I think, no matter what they're doing, I keep my head down, I do my 1.00

00:46:32.560 shit. 0.98

00:46:34.020 No politician's ever done anything for me. 1.00

00:46:37.040 Dude, none of them, I don't care what color, or creed, or whatever they're from. 1.00

00:46:41.300 Black, white, Philonesian, or whatever, dog, I don't, none of them, dude, I never, so, 1.00

00:46:47.260 so, you do your shit. 1.00

00:46:50.140 I'm grateful to live in a country where I can do my shit, and, and, for the most part, 1.00

00:46:53.760 people will leave you alone, you know? 0.97

00:46:55.320 One of my favorite, like, thing that's really just stuck in my head from our episodes is

00:47:01.200 when we had Duncan Trussell on, and he was quoting some, like, philosopher book, I can't

00:47:05.300 remember, but the idea was, tend to the garden you can touch.

00:47:08.660 So, just, like, affect what you can around you, and, like you said, like, no politician's

00:47:13.360 ever done anything for you directly.

00:47:15.200 Go out and vote, because that makes some effect.

00:47:17.260 But, other than that, you have to get up, go to work, do, like, try to accomplish your

00:47:20.280 goals, what have you.

00:47:21.780 Yeah.

00:47:22.940 Yeah, you know, there's people, I think there's, once you, for me, once you start thinking a

00:47:27.300 politician's gonna change your life, I feel like you've already lost, I feel like.

00:47:33.680 And some people, I think, you know, a lot of times it can be an excuse.

00:47:37.360 People aren't happy with what's going on in their existence or something, and so they

00:47:41.000 really get into politics to try and put the hook over there, you know, and sort of, but

00:47:48.060 I mean, we all find ways to not look at ourselves. 1.00

00:47:51.140 But, dude, I hope this shit ends in a Royal Rumble, dude. 0.99

00:47:53.740 I want everybody in the ring, bro. 1.00

00:47:55.860 I want Trump, I want Hillary, I want fucking Dirty Epstein, I want him to fucking dig that 0.99

00:48:00.900 dude up. 0.99

00:48:01.500 So, hopefully Gianni can get me tickets to that Royal Rumble.

00:48:05.540 I know, bro.

00:48:07.600 He's a real wild guy.

00:48:11.120 Who else?

00:48:11.660 Speaking of publicists, Jordan Peterson's publicist came out to the comedy show this

00:48:15.620 weekend.

00:48:15.900 Oh, that's fun.

00:48:16.960 Which was pretty cool.

00:48:18.020 She said that he is still in treatment, and that he's doing well, and that maybe we would

00:48:26.320 cross-podcast again when he came out.

00:48:28.260 Got to, that was a great episode.

00:48:29.720 Yeah, man, that was pretty cool, man.

00:48:31.700 That was pretty cool.

00:48:33.200 Teacher said don't, but I said it anyway.

00:48:36.140 Misbehavin'. 0.76

00:48:36.980 Preacher said no, if you do, you're gonna pay.

00:48:39.960 Misbehavin'. 0.96

00:48:40.800 Kicking and spitting and cussing out loud. 0.96

00:48:42.920 Running through the house with a pickle in my mouth.

00:48:45.020 Playing in the street, looking me outside.

00:48:47.060 Waving just two little country kids outside. 0.80

00:48:50.060 Misbehavin'. 0.76

00:48:51.580 Alright.

00:48:53.220 What do you got, brother?

00:48:53.820 So, ABC footage was released from a hot mic of anchor Amy Robach, and she was caught

00:49:02.140 saying that ABC made her squash the story she had on Jeffrey Epstein that she had over

00:49:06.620 three years ago.

00:49:07.480 She was quoted as saying in the hot mic, I've had the story for three years, we would not

00:49:13.000 put it on air.

00:49:14.400 It was unbelievable.

00:49:15.420 We had Clinton, we had everything.

00:49:17.300 And just a couple days ago, a 25-year-old producer, Amy Bianco, was accused of being a

00:49:23.240 whistleblower and allegedly being the one to leak the video, though she denies it.

00:49:28.320 Hmm.

00:49:29.760 I'm amazed how much play the word whistleblowers get in this year.

00:49:33.360 Baffling amount of play.

00:49:34.400 Every year, some word picks up steam like that.

00:49:38.180 Yeah, I mean, what amazes me is just the hypocrisy of a lot of networks.

00:49:43.400 It's like, we have to help, we have to be, you know, we have to be open to, you know,

00:49:52.600 doing the right thing.

00:49:53.760 You gotta do the right thing.

00:49:54.700 You gotta be supportive, and you gotta support diversity, and you gotta, but then once, why

00:50:00.560 would they not let it out, I wonder?

00:50:02.180 I mean, the-

00:50:04.460 Maybe too many people were tied in that had money involved.

00:50:06.680 Yeah, that's got, that's like the, the theory for sure.

00:50:09.660 But once it comes back to that bottom line, man, people don't want to tell, you know?

00:50:14.780 It's interesting, it's like, once it comes to when it's going to affect, really, your

00:50:18.340 pocketbook and stuff, how do you, the choice do you make then?

00:50:21.840 Yeah, man, these networks are dangerous.

00:50:27.020 And the news wins. 0.99

00:50:27.820 If we go to war, if people go to war, people are fighting, people are fucking shooting each 0.98

00:50:31.800 other up for a shrimp biscuit out there at the pee pies, bruh. 0.98

00:50:35.200 The news wins.

00:50:36.280 They win every time, because then it's just people are going to tune in there to see what's

00:50:40.540 going on.

00:50:41.080 I believe that the news has zero interest of anybody ever being at peace anymore.

00:50:48.740 I don't think that that, that just doesn't sell anymore for them, it doesn't seem like.

00:50:53.600 Uh, so it's just a dangerous, it's dangerous what we let into ourselves, you know?

00:50:59.860 And it's hard not to, I mean, sometimes it's fun too, but, but, um, but they don't care

00:51:05.560 about you, I don't feel like, the news networks, I don't feel like they care about informing

00:51:09.500 us.

00:51:10.580 Do you feel that way?

00:51:11.800 No.

00:51:12.520 Like, I think if you take the individual people that work for the organizations, they, they

00:51:17.400 might start out like altruistically and hoping to make change and stuff.

00:51:21.100 But at the end of the day, the decision makers are the people who are worried about the bottom

00:51:25.240 line.

00:51:26.240 So, and I don't even think it's like nefarious.

00:51:28.460 They're trying to do good for their company so their employees can do well, all that.

00:51:32.160 But you still, when you go after like ratings, that's what creates more money and why you

00:51:37.980 started gets lost in it.

00:51:39.460 Yeah.

00:51:41.280 Epstein, man.

00:51:42.280 Unbelievable.

00:51:44.080 Unbelievable how long that guy was operating. 0.97

00:51:46.200 Pedophile. 0.55

00:51:46.700 That's crazy. 0.84

00:51:48.860 It's, it's.

00:51:49.660 It's, it's unbelievable because a lot of these people have, I mean, I just don't know.

00:51:53.020 I just don't know.

00:51:55.900 When you really, really think about like, you're just like, oh, pedophile, he's a huge 0.98

00:51:59.640 pedophile. 0.98

00:52:00.280 It makes you sick if you really think about what he was doing. 0.98

00:52:02.960 Yeah.

00:52:03.240 It's just.

00:52:04.480 Just so twisted, man.

00:52:06.900 It's the dark arts, bro.

00:52:09.280 And they're alive, man.

00:52:11.300 I think that's good, Nick.

00:52:12.620 Word.

00:52:13.100 I appreciate it, man.

00:52:13.920 Thanks for checking out that fight.

00:52:15.480 Yeah, totally.

00:52:16.060 Totally.

00:52:16.140 All right.

00:52:19.500 That's the real Nick Davis.

00:52:21.500 We want to get a few submits for a single mom's down there in Lafayette. 1.00

00:52:27.620 And that'll be December 26th.

00:52:29.940 I'm going to do something nice for a couple of local Louisiana single mothers. 1.00

00:52:33.620 So, if there's a special lady that you know down there who is a good woman, who's got 0.95

00:52:43.780 a children or two, a children.

00:52:45.680 I don't want to, I don't, don't bring me an 80 year old lady with a 60 year old child. 1.00

00:52:49.400 I want a mother, you know.

00:52:53.700 And I mean, maybe I'm being rude by saying what I want, but that's what I want.

00:52:57.780 And we're going to do something nice for them and make them a part of that evening.

00:53:01.380 So, you can hit the hotline 985-664-9503 to do the submit.

00:53:10.740 All right.

00:53:11.520 Let's take a couple of calls that we got here.

00:53:13.460 And thank you guys for being here with me today.

00:53:16.480 What's up, Theo?

00:53:20.320 This is Austin from Keys Road in Covington.

00:53:23.760 Austin over there from Covington, Louisiana.

00:53:25.920 And that's my hometown.

00:53:27.700 And you know they have the tallest statue of Ronald Reagan there in Covington, Louisiana.

00:53:34.120 And that's 12 foot of Ronald Reagan's shear made out of copper.

00:53:38.600 Or something pewter.

00:53:39.620 I think it's actually pewter.

00:53:41.420 Which is just kind of like dirty copper, bro. 0.99

00:53:43.720 It's like copper's little fucking brother that had to get shipped off to school. 0.99

00:53:47.540 You know, like a special school. 1.00

00:53:48.700 But anyway.

00:53:52.420 And Ronald Reagan never visited our town either.

00:53:55.720 But we still got that statue for him, bro.

00:53:58.620 Ron Ray, boy.

00:53:59.800 Ron Ray.

00:54:00.640 Gang. 1.00

00:54:01.140 Shit. 1.00

00:54:02.240 All right. 1.00

00:54:02.500 Let's get it, brother.

00:54:04.120 I'm just calling to get your thoughts on the LSU win over Alabama.

00:54:07.980 And what you think about Coach O and Joe Burrow.

00:54:10.840 All right, gang.

00:54:12.620 Gang, bro.

00:54:13.300 But, you know, it's so funny.

00:54:16.160 I was watching that game.

00:54:18.200 And at the beginning they were showing Joe Burrow.

00:54:22.120 And he, you know, he's a handsome guy.

00:54:24.760 And he's a quarterback of LSU.

00:54:26.580 And he's potential Heisman.

00:54:28.760 He's probably the Heisman frontrunner for the Heisman Trophy.

00:54:32.500 And he looked, you know, he's like, oh, he's doing well.

00:54:36.100 That's how he looked.

00:54:37.100 And he looked confident.

00:54:38.880 At the end of the game, somebody, I think, they were interviewing him and stuff.

00:54:46.080 And he, he had a different look to him.

00:54:50.180 He looked like, well, for one, he looked like a winner.

00:54:55.480 But he looked like he evolved a little bit.

00:55:00.640 Like he was something, he was bigger than he was when the game started.

00:55:05.320 He was, he was more iconic.

00:55:08.960 He was more, I mean, hell, a dude who was even a little handsomer looking at the end.

00:55:14.160 And he was just, there was, I don't know.

00:55:19.380 He was just, he'd been through something.

00:55:23.560 You know, it's interesting.

00:55:24.520 Dustin Poirier said a lot of time, and he's a UFC guy.

00:55:27.720 And so he's telling me sometimes when you go in the, when you're in these fights,

00:55:31.940 whether you win or lose, you, you, you leave part of yourself in there.

00:55:38.040 And sometimes you take a new part of yourself out of there.

00:55:42.000 And, uh.

00:55:44.160 And it's just interesting what happens when men go in a battle of some sort.

00:55:47.920 Or when we go through something in our lives, a lot of times we really do,

00:55:51.940 an experience can really change us.

00:55:54.740 And really change us, really add to us or, or deplete from us.

00:56:00.220 And I remember seeing him after the game, looking at Joe Byrne,

00:56:02.760 be like, man, that, that guy is going to be a leader.

00:56:04.780 He just had this different quality about him that he gained through that win.

00:56:11.160 Go Tigers, man.

00:56:12.000 Yeah, it was, uh.

00:56:14.200 I'm glad that they got to play.

00:56:15.600 A lot of times, it's just so hard to get these, this college, these conferences.

00:56:19.400 They put all these games together. 1.00

00:56:20.780 And a lot of time, a lot of dog shit. 0.99

00:56:22.640 I like to see the good games. 0.99

00:56:25.160 And so I'm glad they had the good games.

00:56:26.540 Number one versus number two.

00:56:27.960 They should play almost every other week.

00:56:29.960 Who's number one?

00:56:30.660 Who's number two?

00:56:31.220 Let them play.

00:56:32.960 You got number one playing versus number 900. 0.84

00:56:35.640 Who gives a damn? 1.00

00:56:37.540 I'd rather fucking drink lemonade, bro. 1.00

00:56:40.660 I'd rather drink lemonade through a straw out of my own ass, dude. 1.00

00:56:43.680 You know, I'd rather smoke a bowl of my own freaking dick, dog. 1.00

00:56:48.320 I ain't doing all that shit. 1.00

00:56:50.280 Every week, number one versus number six. 0.99

00:56:52.020 Do something.

00:56:53.420 You have the numbers.

00:56:54.300 You know who people are ranked.

00:56:56.500 And instead, you out here, you got number seven versus number 6,000. 0.98

00:57:01.360 And it's just a damn, you know, water for the blind technical school or something. 0.96

00:57:06.960 From outside of Minneapolis. 0.98

00:57:08.480 And also, shout out to those golden gophers, boy.

00:57:12.100 Minnesota, bro.

00:57:13.680 That team has played so hard for so long.

00:57:15.900 They had to deal with the Vikings, sharing a feel with them for a few years.

00:57:19.600 They've done so much.

00:57:21.220 And, man, that was really, really exciting.

00:57:23.600 And, man, I wanted to see Oklahoma get beat by Iowa State.

00:57:27.280 Just because, or Iowa.

00:57:28.660 I think it was Iowa State.

00:57:29.600 It was Iowa State.

00:57:31.360 Just because I like that underdog, man.

00:57:35.400 But Jalen Hurst, man, I like what he's doing.

00:57:37.420 Jaden, Jalen, Jalen, I think.

00:57:39.640 I like what he's doing over there.

00:57:41.000 It's an exciting, it's coming down to be exciting.

00:57:43.600 Baylor's in it.

00:57:44.100 There's a lot of exciting teams.

00:57:45.220 They're rolling up into it.

00:57:47.400 So, and dude, they talked about us on SportsCenter.

00:57:54.720 I put it on my Instagram, man.

00:57:56.020 That was about the craziest thing ever.

00:57:58.360 They had a man named Hamp Sisson over there at Furman University.

00:58:02.200 And he ran a ball, and he had a good block.

00:58:05.780 He had a really good block.

00:58:06.860 And shout out Hamp Sisson over there.

00:58:10.300 And the SportsCenter, the guy said something, Hamp.

00:58:16.840 Shout out Theo Vine.

00:58:17.960 I thought that was pretty cool, man. 0.99

00:58:19.940 Because, you know, I used to fucking pedal them little hamsters, bro, and G-pigs out there off Highway 190. 1.00

00:58:25.100 Over there about a snowball stand by Pat's Video and Shrimp. 0.99

00:58:30.760 All right, let's take another call over here.

00:58:32.760 985-664-9503.

00:58:35.900 Hey, what up, Theo?

00:58:37.340 It's Dustin from Monticello, Arkansas.

00:58:40.120 What's up, Dustin?

00:58:42.200 In Monticello, Arkansas.

00:58:44.900 That sounds like a unique little spot.

00:58:47.940 I think I've been there before.

00:58:51.240 Let me see something about it.

00:58:53.240 Monticello, Arkansas.

00:58:54.200 71,000 people, it says.

00:58:57.260 Over there in Monticello.

00:59:00.260 And Monticello is Rodney Shelton Foss is from Monticello.

00:59:09.040 Who was potentially the first American killed in World War II.

00:59:14.440 So, if you don't know that, then now you know it.

00:59:16.680 That's over there in Monticello.

00:59:20.020 Okay, what do we got, brother?

00:59:21.480 Onward.

00:59:23.840 And, man, I just had a question.

00:59:26.220 I got this job now in this wood mill, you know, cutting some log.

00:59:30.640 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:59:31.900 You that fucking birch bad boy, son. 1.00

00:59:34.020 You that fucking little log jacker. 1.00

00:59:36.780 You that fucking pine, bro. 1.00

00:59:38.400 You freaking Peter Pine, dude. 1.00

00:59:41.460 Straight out the gate. 0.97

00:59:43.140 Past the last start of morning, bro.

00:59:46.020 I'll see you in the Lost Boys, bro.

00:59:47.960 Captain Hook, bro. 0.73

00:59:50.420 Freaking gang-a-rang, dog.

00:59:52.440 Let me see. 0.78

00:59:52.880 What you got?

00:59:53.360 You working at the wood mill?

00:59:54.500 What's up?

00:59:55.880 And, man, day after day, it just wears my body down.

01:00:01.000 And it's getting to a point, I can't even get happy no more going into work.

01:00:04.980 I just go into work broken down, and I can't stop thinking about leaving.

01:00:09.780 They go by slow.

01:00:10.740 So, I was just wondering, you got me pissed for staying happy at a job that's so physically

01:00:17.380 demanding on you.

01:00:18.980 Gang, gang.

01:00:19.600 Man, you know, I think that job is training you for something better, man.

01:00:30.420 For something that you're going to go through in your life, you're going to need the experience.

01:00:33.760 You're going to need to be a tough man.

01:00:36.440 You know, say, iron sharpens iron.

01:00:38.060 Or iron.

01:00:42.160 I think it is iron sharpens iron, yeah.

01:00:45.340 So, yeah, man, instead of life doesn't happen to us, it happens for us.

01:00:51.120 So, we, you know, if this physical demand is building you up, you ain't no soft boss, bro.

01:01:01.200 You ain't no Q-tip.

01:01:03.360 You ain't no little cotton puff. 0.96

01:01:06.120 You something especial, daddy. 1.00

01:01:12.600 Dude, I say you fucking go in there and get it done. 1.00

01:01:15.900 You that woodchuck. 1.00

01:01:17.120 Bring a gun in there or something. 1.00

01:01:18.500 Bring a knife, dude. 0.94

01:01:20.380 Be like a Donatello or something. 1.00

01:01:23.400 Knife that shit out. 1.00

01:01:26.200 Dude, I think you should put weights on your legs and build your legs up. 1.00

01:01:29.400 Do leg lifts while you're in there.

01:01:31.420 Do knee jackers or whatever. 1.00

01:01:33.800 Build your ass. 1.00

01:01:34.720 Build your neck. 1.00

01:01:36.120 Dude, you could come out of there looking like, you know, looking like damn Andre 3000 or Andre the Giant. 0.99

01:01:48.400 You could do it all, man. 0.97

01:01:49.780 That's what I'm saying is you got the opportunity, man.

01:01:51.820 That this is just sharpening you for something else.

01:01:56.060 Whatever's going on right now is getting you ready for the next thing.

01:02:00.000 And look, throw a podcast on.

01:02:04.660 You know, sometimes it's like, you know, I always think like, man, I have to do this today.

01:02:11.940 Instead of thinking, man, I get to do this.

01:02:17.580 This is it.

01:02:21.220 This is life.

01:02:22.140 This is it.

01:02:22.800 And I know it's not easy, man.

01:02:26.120 I'm not preaching at you.

01:02:29.660 You know, I'm right there with you, man.

01:02:31.300 It's tough.

01:02:31.700 Everything, everything, everything can be grueling.

01:02:33.880 But we don't have to go to work.

01:02:39.840 We get to.

01:02:41.540 There's somebody somewhere would love to work in a wood mill. 0.54

01:02:45.040 Think about it.

01:02:45.640 You're Santa's little helper, man.

01:02:47.080 All those little boys up there. 1.00

01:02:48.500 He's got those little high fucking little, little people up there smoking them big johns, bro. 1.00

01:02:54.320 Them big fucking pony pieces and building little trains and shit. 1.00

01:02:59.040 Build a train. 1.00

01:03:00.060 Build a wooden cannon.

01:03:01.040 You got an opportunity, bro.

01:03:05.520 You got all of that wood.

01:03:09.340 Sounds like you got a real opportunity on your hands.

01:03:11.580 Build the world's largest birdhouse.

01:03:15.380 Next thing you know, you got 6,000 birds out there in your yard.

01:03:19.500 Next thing you know, you got a zoo.

01:03:20.900 Next thing you know, you got money coming in. 1.00

01:03:23.660 You got a couple of fucking ZBs out there. 1.00

01:03:25.880 A couple of zoo bitches. 1.00

01:03:27.060 You feel me? 0.99

01:03:27.680 So, but, yeah, man, you stay healthy.

01:03:33.820 Stay hydrated.

01:03:34.560 Listen to some good podcasts.

01:03:35.900 Throw on some Coco Diaz. 1.00

01:03:38.200 He'll get you through the day, cocksucker. 1.00

01:03:40.160 But you can do it, man. 1.00

01:03:44.260 I know you can.

01:03:45.400 Keep your head up, gang.

01:03:46.680 Let's take another call right here.

01:03:48.000 Here we go.

01:03:49.760 Hey, yo.

01:03:50.160 What's up, man?

01:03:50.980 It's Doug and Blake.

01:03:52.320 We had a run-in, you know, run-in with some gypsies here in Augusta, Georgia, man. 1.00

01:03:58.020 I just didn't know, like, you know, if you ever had any, if you ever had a run-in with

01:04:01.880 a gypsy, and if so, how'd you get out of that, you know, situation? 1.00

01:04:06.980 Because we're kind of, we're kind of in it now.

01:04:09.560 Just, you know, appreciate your insight, man.

01:04:11.980 Love the show.

01:04:12.920 Gang. 0.66

01:04:14.160 Kush, girl. 0.97

01:04:15.600 Gypsies, man. 1.00

01:04:16.100 I tell you, a lot of people don't know about gypsies in America.

01:04:19.000 And they got them Ramna Shell gypsies. 1.00

01:04:21.000 And some people, they have them on the, they have a fighting show where it's like gypsies 1.00

01:04:24.320 fighting or something, and everybody gets a wedding dress and then they fist fight outside

01:04:28.540 of Best Western.

01:04:31.160 And I can't remember the name of it.

01:04:32.520 First gypsy's wedding. 0.99

01:04:34.640 Or Best Gypsy or something. 1.00

01:04:36.140 But what I'm telling you is this, man.

01:04:39.340 There's a unique subculture of people, or culture of people in America.

01:04:46.100 They're called gypsies. 1.00

01:04:48.040 And they got a unique, they got their own style of living, man.

01:04:50.980 They marry gypsies a lot of times. 1.00

01:04:52.860 They're real, you know, it's not inbreeding or whatever, it's just like teamwork.

01:04:59.560 They're real family-oriented, family-first.

01:05:02.860 You know, the husbands like to make the money. 1.00

01:05:04.680 A lot of them work in asphalt.

01:05:07.260 And they down to Sub, bruh.

01:05:09.120 Kush, girl. 0.97

01:05:10.320 And they got their own language out there.

01:05:12.120 And you see them out there, Ohio, and Minnesota, Milwaukee.

01:05:17.040 They got them out there.

01:05:17.800 I met a fellow out in, where was that guy?

01:05:21.140 He brought me a, in Madison, Wisconsin.

01:05:24.560 This guy did asphalt, and then he brought me an orange hat, a green hat.

01:05:30.240 They are out there, and they do asphalt.

01:05:32.940 And some of them, they pull, they pull, pulling the wool over our, over people's eyes.

01:05:36.920 And some of them is legit businessmen.

01:05:38.480 So, really, they're just like everybody.

01:05:43.380 But if you have to deal with them, I think, just, I think a lot of it for them is probably about respect, you know.

01:05:51.380 I would just, I would, I would try to have a new experience.

01:05:53.480 If you've had a rough experience to begin with, I would try to have a new experience with them.

01:05:58.260 Say, hey, look, we might have got off to a rough foot.

01:06:00.720 I'm willing to give things a new shot.

01:06:02.300 What do you want to do?

01:06:02.980 Now, sometimes gypsies, they'll tell you they're going to do asphalt and stuff, and they just spray paint your yard black or something. 1.00

01:06:10.340 And tell you they did asphalt, and then they run off or something.

01:06:13.500 But, but I think a lot of that stuff's kind of changing.

01:06:16.540 But you just got to keep your head open.

01:06:19.220 And your eyes, you know, kind of clear and everything.

01:06:23.820 And, but yeah, be safe.

01:06:25.640 Also, dude, speaking of Augusta, I'm trying to go to the, I'm trying to take my stepdad to the,

01:06:31.080 what is it called, that thing?

01:06:37.180 Masters.

01:06:38.360 I'm trying to take my stepdad to the Masters next year.

01:06:41.080 Because he's getting older, and I always promised him I would take him.

01:06:43.340 If anybody have an insight on how I can get tickets to that or badges to it, let me know.

01:06:49.280 Good luck out there with them Ramna shells, bruh. 0.89

01:06:51.880 Because they wild, too.

01:06:53.180 And a lot of them have long stomach.

01:06:55.620 A lot of gypsies have real long stomach, a lot of the women. 1.00

01:06:58.420 And they put a little jewel in their stomach, like those, remember those little dolls they had

01:07:02.940 that you would stick your pencil in the bottom?

01:07:05.340 With the hair, with the bright hair?

01:07:08.540 They have that.

01:07:10.500 That magic belly space.

01:07:15.180 Okay, let's take another call here.

01:07:16.580 985-664-9503 is the hotline.

01:07:19.840 Hey, Theo.

01:07:21.180 This is Alex from Utah.

01:07:23.640 I have a serious issue I've been struggling with lately and could use a second opinion on it, brother.

01:07:31.060 I have been divorced for a minute.

01:07:34.680 I have a little girl with my first wife.

01:07:38.040 But I'm getting remarried.

01:07:40.580 Okay, so you've been divorced.

01:07:41.880 You have a little girl with the first wife. 0.96

01:07:43.920 And you're getting remarried.

01:07:45.620 Onward.

01:07:45.900 And she has a little boy who's now two.

01:07:49.680 Now, here's my problem.

01:07:50.900 I love the boy.

01:07:52.160 We've been together for a long time now.

01:07:53.740 So I love him.

01:07:54.640 He loves me.

01:07:55.400 He looks at me and calls me daddy.

01:07:57.180 But when I look at him, sometimes I see her ex-husband.

01:08:02.600 And it'll throw me off for a day now.

01:08:06.020 It's been hard to get over that where, you know, I don't see myself in him at all.

01:08:10.760 And it's kind of weird because I have this daughter that I do, of course, because I had her with my ex.

01:08:16.560 Anyways, man, maybe I just need to suck it up and know that it'll get well over time.

01:08:22.580 But I want to do your thoughts, man.

01:08:24.700 Anyways, love your comedy, brother.

01:08:27.280 Thanks, man.

01:08:28.020 Thank you for sharing this experience that you're going through.

01:08:34.300 Man, I can imagine that's tough and that's a real situation, you know.

01:08:37.800 And I think it's a great chance.

01:08:43.440 And look, I'm not speaking like I know everything.

01:08:46.200 I don't know anything.

01:08:47.060 But I will say this.

01:08:51.100 It's a great opportunity for you to be loving.

01:08:57.020 You know, as hard as it might be in certain moments.

01:09:00.220 You sound like a loving person, you know.

01:09:05.100 Because sometimes he might feel that, that boy.

01:09:07.340 You look at him a certain way and you see his stepfather in him.

01:09:11.880 You know, I'm sure the stepfather and the mother made that child out of love.

01:09:15.560 So, it's a real opportunity for you to look at him and just be loving.

01:09:21.000 You know.

01:09:24.040 The only way he gets into the world is through that woman and that man. 0.99

01:09:27.460 That's the only way that boy gets into the world.

01:09:29.720 And he might change the world.

01:09:32.360 You know, he might invent a new kind of chocolate or something.

01:09:36.140 He might make, you know, he might find a way to make pudding even better.

01:09:39.120 He may colonize Mars.

01:09:40.380 That might be the boy that does it.

01:09:42.100 He might be that magic boy.

01:09:43.480 And you get a chance to love him, man.

01:09:48.460 You know, and that's pretty cool.

01:09:52.560 You know, who knows?

01:09:53.500 Maybe you and your wife, y'all won't even be able to have a boy.

01:09:56.940 And so, that's going to be your son.

01:10:01.800 I'm sure the dad is probably a little envious, too, of you in some ways.

01:10:05.360 Because imagine he probably looks at the son, at his son, and sees that his son really cares about you.

01:10:15.160 So, it's really a, you know, it's just an opportunity to, to just try and be loving.

01:10:23.000 And if you're really having trouble, I would just ask, you know, try and ask your higher power for, to help you not have those feelings of uncomfort anymore.

01:10:30.560 Ask them that they be taken away from you.

01:10:35.720 But, I think you got this, brother.

01:10:38.720 Matter of fact, man, I know you got it.

01:10:42.200 I have no doubt.

01:10:44.320 Be good to yourself, bud.

01:10:46.080 All right?

01:10:46.520 All right.

01:10:49.160 Let's take another call here.

01:10:50.480 Here we go.

01:10:52.200 Hey, what's up, Theo?

01:10:53.240 It's Joey from Ames, Iowa.

01:10:55.120 You know, I just wanted to call and give you some good news, man.

01:10:58.780 I became an uncle a couple weeks ago, and I got a niece.

01:11:02.140 She was about a month early.

01:11:04.120 She looked like a little banana pepper when she was born, but she's still beautiful, man.

01:11:08.540 Oh, yeah.

01:11:09.280 You got that early niece. 1.00

01:11:10.980 Onward.

01:11:11.840 The crazy thing is, she's named after me.

01:11:14.400 Hey, I'm Joseph, and they called her Josephine, so, you know, that made me feel good, man. 0.99

01:11:20.100 That was some good shit. 0.99

01:11:22.080 But now I have to be a role model, man, but that's all right. 0.99

01:11:25.380 You know, I just want to let you know, give you a little good news.

01:11:28.020 I know you get a lot of drama and bad news on the hotline, so I just wanted to give you something positive.

01:11:34.260 Joey got that Josephine, bruh. 0.99

01:11:36.100 So, they got a little baby out there, that little fucking banana pepper out there in Iowa. 0.99

01:11:44.440 And look, you can be a role model. 0.99

01:11:46.540 I mean, the dad has to be the role model, I think. 1.00

01:11:49.120 You get to be awesome as fuck, bruh. 0.99

01:11:51.360 You get to get a Corvette. 0.99

01:11:52.800 You got to show up.

01:11:54.000 Be really cool.

01:11:56.520 Don't be a creep. 0.97

01:11:57.640 Don't be a pedophile.

01:11:58.460 Those are really your responsibilities because you're going to get entrusted with the children from time to time to spend time with them, get them snacks, take them to a film, do something nice at Christmas, be loving from afar.

01:12:15.120 You get to be like the escape that they'll have sometimes from their parents, like a cool person to spend time with.

01:12:19.360 Just make sure there's nothing wrong with you mentally or emotionally where you're going to be, you know, a pervert or perverting or anything because that's what happens a lot of times.

01:12:29.140 Uncles will become, sadly, pedophiles or p-files or whatever. 0.99

01:12:34.800 And I ain't doing that shit, and praise God, I'm not. 0.99

01:12:37.760 So, you be good out there, Joe. 0.96

01:12:39.040 I appreciate the call, brother.

01:12:40.800 Let's take another call here.

01:12:42.120 Here we go.

01:12:43.520 Hey, Theo.

01:12:44.220 This is Thomas Getty from Fort Worth, Texas.

01:12:47.780 Tommy.

01:12:48.180 Hey, out of Fort Worth.

01:12:50.720 I'm calling today because a buddy of mine is, well, I don't think addicted, but I think getting a little bit too much into meth.

01:13:00.280 He has been.

01:13:01.660 A little too much into meth.

01:13:03.260 Okay, onward.

01:13:05.680 Kind of dabbling in the meth here and there.

01:13:09.280 I don't think he does.

01:13:10.080 Oh, you mean he's mething around, huh?

01:13:12.640 Okay, I'll stop.

01:13:13.640 Every day, but, you know, like every couple of weekends or so, I'm finding out this dude's doing meth, you know?

01:13:20.740 He's not, like, hiding it or anything.

01:13:22.120 He tells me about it.

01:13:22.920 And I tell him, dude, I'm not fully shot doing meth.

01:13:25.620 It's slippery slope.

01:13:26.820 I don't think meth's a great thing for this dude.

01:13:29.560 He's a hard-working dude.

01:13:30.460 He's got a job and whatnot.

01:13:32.020 He's a great guy.

01:13:32.900 Meth's great if you want to do card tricks outside of, you know, outside of supermarkets for people to make a couple of bucks for the rest of your life.

01:13:43.280 Then meth's great. 0.98

01:13:45.020 Meth's great if you want to, you know, if you want to wash your hands so much that you washed your damn skin right off of them. 0.99

01:13:55.860 Then meth's great. 0.93

01:13:57.780 Meth's great if you want it to be wintertime and you don't need a coat because your body is at about 190 degrees.

01:14:04.040 Then, yeah, meth's great.

01:14:07.100 Onward.

01:14:07.760 He just does meth, you know?

01:14:09.440 And a couple of my friends have approached me about it and said that they're worried about it because he's not really shy about the fact that he does it.

01:14:15.660 He's never really offered any of those meths.

01:14:17.860 But, you know, if he did it a weekend or two ago or he did it that day before he came to hang out with us, he'll tell us.

01:14:25.300 Which, I don't know, I think that's weird.

01:14:27.480 Well, it sounds like he's, like, the most confident meth guy ever, really. 0.98

01:14:30.380 Like, he's fucking Meth Hamid Ali, dude. 0.99

01:14:32.320 This guy's, you know, smoke like a butterfly, shoot like a bee. 1.00

01:14:36.660 This dude's on that meth.

01:14:38.180 But he's fearless about it.

01:14:40.420 So, I mean, here's the things that can happen.

01:14:44.160 He could become the greatest meth user of all time and really become a champion of the sport.

01:14:49.960 You know, he could become the Deion Sanders of meth amphetamines.

01:14:53.220 Or, yeah.

01:14:56.160 Or, this dude could get caught in a playground taking apart the slides and the swings in the middle of the night for no reason.

01:15:07.520 So, those are really the two options.

01:15:09.700 Let me hear a little bit more.

01:15:11.400 So, what would you do?

01:15:12.600 How would you tell your friend to maybe stop doing the meth?

01:15:15.800 Thanks.

01:15:16.740 And love you.

01:15:17.240 Love you, too, man.

01:15:18.600 I appreciate the call, you know, because it is hard to approach people, especially if you think they have addiction.

01:15:23.260 If they're struggling.

01:15:24.240 It's hard also sometimes.

01:15:25.500 I remember I used to use drugs and I would think other people were using drugs too much.

01:15:31.340 Dude, I remember being high on cocaine and telling somebody on cocaine, bro, you got to do less cocaine.

01:15:37.040 They're like, what, bro?

01:15:38.120 You're on cocaine.

01:15:39.340 I said, oh, you're all right.

01:15:42.540 You're right.

01:15:48.880 I would.

01:15:49.880 I would maybe talk to an interventionist, man.

01:15:55.320 Sometimes they cost money.

01:15:57.360 But I would maybe talk to an interventionist because it's still, I just don't see how it can get better.

01:16:06.100 Unless something happens now.

01:16:08.360 I'm just really worried that it could get really, get bad quick.

01:16:11.880 So, you got to tighten them up, dude.

01:16:13.900 Put little cards around too.

01:16:15.620 Say, hey, no meth, you know.

01:16:17.460 Knock, knock. 0.93

01:16:18.040 Who's there?

01:16:18.640 Not meth.

01:16:21.580 Or, start teaching that dude algebra, bro, and come out with a new thing called mathematics.

01:16:28.200 And this dude is just a straight up, you know, he's the, it's like a beautiful mind, bro, but with methamphetamines. 0.92

01:16:34.620 And he's out there doing it right and winning contests and shit and winning trophies and traveling around the world. 0.99

01:16:40.400 And smoking meth and, you know, doing rails of meth and fucking setting new prizes and being a wizard and everything. 0.99

01:16:46.420 And then he fucking falls in love with a girl somewhere in Japan or something. 1.00

01:16:50.380 And then her father probably kills him or something. 1.00

01:16:54.120 That's, there's just, and that's like a best case scenario.

01:16:58.220 So, it's limited, man.

01:17:00.320 It's limited opportunity, I think, for him.

01:17:03.220 So, I do think it's a good time probably to speak to him.

01:17:05.780 And it is time to shut it down, man.

01:17:08.480 There's never a bad time to shut down somebody's meth use.

01:17:11.520 Because meth is like, it's, there's only one or two drugs at the real end of the line.

01:17:18.780 You got meth and you got smoking crack.

01:17:25.500 Nobody's ever been like, oh yeah, I'm smoking meth and I also,

01:17:28.820 and I also just, you know, won a Nobel Prize.

01:17:38.120 Nobody's doing that.

01:17:40.540 So, you got to get your boy off that meth.

01:17:42.280 I would talk to him and if that's not working,

01:17:44.200 then I would immediately talk to an interventionist,

01:17:46.440 talk to someone who works at a, at a narcotics anonymous group,

01:17:50.200 somebody who could actually speak to him.

01:17:52.060 But I'd find somebody maybe in recovery who could maybe talk to him

01:17:57.000 if you can't reach him.

01:17:59.000 Because somebody should be able to reach him.

01:18:01.020 And here's the thing, when he gets better, man,

01:18:02.600 when he's not using it, he will thank you.

01:18:05.900 And that's just a suggestion, dude. 0.91

01:18:07.380 Also, I don't fucking know. 0.88

01:18:09.880 Alright, let's take one last call, man.

01:18:11.360 Thank you guys for being a part of this,

01:18:12.820 this show here this week.

01:18:19.520 The holidays are coming.

01:18:20.820 It's a special time of year.

01:18:22.060 It's a special time of year.

01:18:24.720 We get to be alive for the holidays, man.

01:18:26.420 That's beautiful.

01:18:28.460 Ain't nobody in the world not excited about Thanksgiving coming up.

01:18:32.180 Getting that yam and seeing you,

01:18:34.200 somebody from your family that's, you know,

01:18:36.340 got their stomach stapled or something

01:18:38.120 and they showing off their new rib cage or something.

01:18:40.680 It's all good, gang.

01:18:42.800 Alright, let's take another call here.

01:18:44.580 Here we go.

01:18:46.060 Hey, man.

01:18:47.020 Just wanted to share with you

01:18:48.820 some stuff that's been getting to me lately.

01:18:52.060 Went on a trip to Europe

01:18:54.220 with my girlfriend at the time.

01:18:58.060 We were dating for a little over a year.

01:19:01.000 Planed on going to like five or six countries,

01:19:03.460 adventuring for like a month and a few days.

01:19:08.180 Okay, so you went on a trip to Europe with the girlfriend.

01:19:10.080 Man, I can relate to that.

01:19:10.960 I went on a trip to Europe with my girlfriend

01:19:12.520 back in the day.

01:19:15.960 And we had a pretty decent time, I think.

01:19:18.120 I don't know.

01:19:19.780 Maybe we didn't.

01:19:20.800 Onward?

01:19:21.060 And just a couple days in,

01:19:23.140 I found out that she cheated on me back home. 0.87

01:19:27.060 So I freaked out.

01:19:29.480 Of course, I broke up with her.

01:19:31.280 It was just a nightmare of a situation.

01:19:34.520 I can only get so in depth.

01:19:36.220 But I'm really just having trouble with getting over it,

01:19:40.380 getting over her.

01:19:42.640 And I was wondering if you could give me any advice.

01:19:45.640 Love you, dude.

01:19:46.920 Love you too, man.

01:19:48.100 Thanks for calling.

01:19:48.800 I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

01:19:51.720 You know, I'm sorry that that happened to you.

01:19:54.800 Yeah, it can really hurt our feelings

01:19:56.420 when people do that to us, man.

01:19:59.480 And I mean, I only know that a lot of times

01:20:01.000 because I've done that to women. 1.00

01:20:02.080 And I've seen how much it hurts them.

01:20:08.480 You know, if she really does care about you,

01:20:15.000 if she really did,

01:20:16.480 or if she really does,

01:20:17.540 or if she really did,

01:20:19.280 then she probably was really hurting too.

01:20:23.840 So many times when somebody does us wrong,

01:20:25.980 we think, 1.00

01:20:27.140 oh man, fuck them. 1.00

01:20:28.760 But also, you know what also sucks 1.00

01:20:31.540 is doing somebody wrong

01:20:32.880 and having to live with that wrong.

01:20:36.680 That's painful, man.

01:20:40.100 Dude, having to talk to your girlfriend 0.99

01:20:41.740 and your boyfriend

01:20:42.500 and knowing you've been lying to them.

01:20:47.580 It's like having a dirty treasure chest

01:20:49.520 in your ocean, bro.

01:20:51.160 It's like having a treasure chest

01:20:52.240 that has no treasure in it at all. 0.99

01:20:54.640 And it's just really just a fucking shoebox. 0.99

01:20:58.760 So she probably, 0.99

01:21:00.980 it probably wasn't fun for her

01:21:02.080 as much as it was painful for you.

01:21:04.080 I'm just saying there's a way to heal it up,

01:21:06.280 I think,

01:21:06.680 if you

01:21:07.300 think like,

01:21:11.400 hey,

01:21:11.880 I'm sorry that you,

01:21:14.420 I bet it was painful for you

01:21:15.980 to live with that.

01:21:18.720 And I bet it was painful

01:21:19.760 that you did that

01:21:20.540 and had to live with that.

01:21:23.260 And I'm sorry that that happened to you.

01:21:25.320 I'm sorry you,

01:21:26.140 even though she did it to you.

01:21:28.760 Because then you take control,

01:21:30.300 you get some control then.

01:21:33.160 Then you're not a victim anymore.

01:21:34.600 You're not a victim of what she did.

01:21:36.140 You're offering,

01:21:37.360 you are saying,

01:21:38.100 hey,

01:21:38.280 I can understand

01:21:39.420 what it's like to do something wrong

01:21:41.820 and how miserable it feels

01:21:44.060 or how tough it feels

01:21:45.140 to live with that pain

01:21:47.040 or that uncomfort,

01:21:48.900 that discomfort,

01:21:50.280 that decomp.

01:21:51.900 So you can let her know that.

01:21:53.400 And sometimes,

01:21:57.300 man,

01:21:57.520 it's crazy.

01:21:58.060 Sometimes I've been in relationships

01:21:59.080 where somebody did me wrong

01:22:00.220 and then I stayed with them

01:22:01.360 just so I could hold it against them. 0.99

01:22:05.540 Isn't that fucked up, man? 0.99

01:22:06.760 I remember staying with this one girl 0.99

01:22:14.700 I was with for a while

01:22:15.580 and I just would think sometimes,

01:22:18.820 man,

01:22:19.720 I can't stand this girl, 1.00

01:22:22.640 but

01:22:22.880 I'm going to stay with her

01:22:26.100 just because

01:22:27.080 it's almost like out of spite,

01:22:32.840 I stay with her just like,

01:22:33.920 well,

01:22:34.860 she, 1.00

01:22:35.620 fuck. 1.00

01:22:42.740 Sorry, man. 1.00

01:22:45.380 It's almost like I stay,

01:22:46.700 you know,

01:22:47.020 I stay with a girl once 0.97

01:22:48.120 because

01:22:48.640 even though I didn't like her.

01:22:52.960 I just,

01:22:53.400 because by staying with her

01:22:54.960 it gave me some like weird control

01:22:56.760 or something.

01:22:58.380 By staying with someone

01:22:59.580 who had done me wrong,

01:23:00.600 it let me be the victim.

01:23:03.920 And if I could be the victim,

01:23:05.040 it always gave me this place

01:23:06.460 to operate from.

01:23:10.560 And in hindsight, 1.00

01:23:12.240 it was such a bitch move, man. 1.00

01:23:13.840 I'm not saying that's you. 1.00

01:23:15.040 I'm just,

01:23:15.480 I'm saying for myself

01:23:16.400 when I think back on myself,

01:23:17.600 it brings me some,

01:23:18.740 you know,

01:23:19.060 a little bit of shame

01:23:19.700 because I did that.

01:23:24.380 You know,

01:23:24.840 I find for myself,

01:23:25.840 sometimes I stay with certain things

01:23:27.300 because it gives me an excuse.

01:23:28.680 I'm going to stay with this person

01:23:33.100 that cheated on me

01:23:33.840 because

01:23:34.140 as long as I can always remind them

01:23:36.560 they cheated on me, 0.73

01:23:37.320 then that gives me a leg to stand on.

01:23:39.020 That makes me a little better than them.

01:23:45.900 Or I'm going to keep drinking

01:23:47.120 or I'm going to keep smoking cigarettes

01:23:48.800 because as long as I,

01:23:50.660 as long as that's my problem,

01:23:52.060 and as long as I keep going in circles

01:23:55.840 of trying to quit smoking

01:23:56.860 or not smoking

01:23:57.660 or whatever,

01:23:58.320 as long as I keep

01:23:59.020 that little problem going,

01:24:00.660 I'll never have to deal

01:24:01.700 with whatever my real problem is.

01:24:07.000 As long as I keep

01:24:07.880 this little goldfish in the bowl,

01:24:09.500 I'll never even have to really

01:24:10.680 see what the shark is.

01:24:15.740 So I just keep bowing.

01:24:17.160 Yeah, I'm trying to quit.

01:24:18.240 I quit for a few days.

01:24:19.280 I'm back.

01:24:19.840 I quit.

01:24:20.320 I'm back.

01:24:20.720 And sometimes it's like,

01:24:24.800 I don't know if I even

01:24:25.420 really want to quit.

01:24:30.300 Because if I quit that,

01:24:31.580 if I quit,

01:24:32.480 if I quit smoking,

01:24:34.840 then I'm just going to have to

01:24:35.500 then it's going to be

01:24:36.480 whatever,

01:24:37.080 what next?

01:24:37.800 I'm going to have to look

01:24:38.580 at what's really going on with me.

01:24:43.400 You know, 0.99

01:24:43.840 I'm going to have to fucking 0.99

01:24:44.340 be Neil Armstrong and myself, 0.99

01:24:46.120 man.

01:24:46.600 Not Lance, bro.

01:24:47.600 Neil.

01:24:48.600 I ain't talking about 1.00

01:24:49.240 that fucking nut boy 1.00

01:24:50.320 with the cycle. 1.00

01:24:52.360 I'm talking about 1.00

01:24:52.880 that fucking spacey daddy. 1.00

01:24:58.340 But you said now 1.00

01:24:59.140 about getting over her,

01:25:00.100 man.

01:25:00.280 I think the truth is,

01:25:01.420 dude,

01:25:02.240 I think you are over her.

01:25:06.520 I think you just

01:25:07.320 keep it around

01:25:08.020 because you don't want

01:25:08.740 to move forward.

01:25:10.180 And that's just a guess,

01:25:15.660 bro.

01:25:15.840 And that's kind of

01:25:16.360 messed up of me

01:25:16.980 to say that.

01:25:17.680 And I'm just guessing

01:25:18.440 like by your tone

01:25:19.260 and stuff.

01:25:19.960 But also,

01:25:20.700 man,

01:25:20.820 I'm just saying that

01:25:21.480 because I can relate.

01:25:25.400 You know,

01:25:25.840 I used to pine over girls 1.00

01:25:27.040 all the time

01:25:27.660 for this and that.

01:25:30.140 And the truth was,

01:25:31.200 I didn't really even

01:25:31.840 probably care about

01:25:32.560 them anymore.

01:25:33.200 I was just afraid

01:25:36.160 to man up 0.99

01:25:36.700 and fucking live my life. 1.00

01:25:40.580 I was too lazy 1.00

01:25:41.780 or too stagnant

01:25:43.500 or too something 0.98

01:25:44.340 to fucking just say, 0.98

01:25:47.460 hey, 1.00

01:25:47.620 that's that.

01:25:48.380 Let's go.

01:25:54.460 You know,

01:25:54.980 I created this fake breeze

01:25:56.300 that was just pushing

01:25:57.160 against me then.

01:25:58.460 But I was operating

01:25:59.500 the wind machine

01:26:00.240 secretly on the side.

01:26:01.420 And I don't have,

01:26:04.340 you know,

01:26:06.280 it's like,

01:26:07.280 oh man,

01:26:07.620 I can barely make it

01:26:08.440 through this,

01:26:09.160 through this wind.

01:26:10.740 But,

01:26:11.820 but as long as I

01:26:13.700 every now and then

01:26:14.200 reach over 1.00

01:26:14.620 and crank up the fucking, 1.00

01:26:18.120 crank up the wind machine, 1.00

01:26:19.860 the fan,

01:26:20.960 then the wind will

01:26:21.600 just keep coming.

01:26:22.340 I'm making my own 1.00

01:26:23.040 damn bullshit. 1.00

01:26:26.580 So anyway, 1.00

01:26:27.340 man,

01:26:27.480 I wish you luck.

01:26:29.460 And really,

01:26:30.140 what I really wish you,

01:26:31.100 man,

01:26:31.240 is the same thing

01:26:31.820 that I wish myself

01:26:32.560 sometimes,

01:26:33.140 confidence.

01:26:37.480 Confidence to say,

01:26:38.200 hey,

01:26:38.320 you know what,

01:26:38.680 enough.

01:26:40.200 Enough of that.

01:26:43.260 And let's get going,

01:26:44.320 huh?

01:26:46.920 Thank you for calling,

01:26:47.860 man.

01:26:48.000 Thank you for everybody

01:26:48.600 calling.

01:26:50.480 We can do this.

01:26:54.180 We can do this.

01:26:55.220 Other people have done this.

01:26:56.860 It's life.

01:26:57.700 We got this.

01:26:58.500 Let's go get this,

01:27:00.740 bruh.

01:27:02.240 It's Sadie Hawkins,

01:27:03.380 man. 1.00

01:27:03.680 These bitches is looking 1.00

01:27:04.780 for us 1.00

01:27:06.220 with that nice shirt.

01:27:08.160 shirt.

01:27:10.840 You know what I'm saying?

01:27:12.020 I ain't talking about 0.99

01:27:12.760 fucking, 0.99

01:27:13.240 uh, 1.00

01:27:14.380 I ain't talking about

01:27:15.420 tiff with them,

01:27:16.320 with them three-point 1.00

01:27:18.000 fucking kneecaps, 1.00

01:27:19.120 daddy. 1.00

01:27:22.120 With them dunkaroos

01:27:23.620 right there.

01:27:25.260 I'm talking about

01:27:26.540 getting that nice shirt

01:27:28.120 from a real lady.

01:27:29.120 I'm talking about

01:27:32.940 expecting good things

01:27:33.980 to happen to myself

01:27:34.940 instead of

01:27:38.880 immediately looking

01:27:39.860 at the bad ones

01:27:40.580 every day

01:27:41.080 because that's

01:27:43.500 what's comfortable.

01:27:47.840 Man,

01:27:48.260 I wonder sometimes

01:27:48.820 how far I could go

01:27:49.540 if I really gave

01:27:50.720 myself a chance.

01:27:56.620 You know,

01:27:57.100 I really do.

01:27:57.660 Thank you guys

01:27:59.740 for being here

01:28:00.480 with me today

01:28:01.600 and for me today.

01:28:03.600 I don't want to

01:28:04.040 sometimes know

01:28:04.680 what this podcast

01:28:05.280 is about,

01:28:05.960 but

01:28:06.240 but sometimes,

01:28:11.600 you know,

01:28:12.200 sometimes oddly,

01:28:12.960 man,

01:28:13.080 it's like exactly

01:28:13.740 what I need

01:28:14.280 sometimes.

01:28:17.040 So

01:28:17.440 and I know

01:28:20.820 wherever I am

01:28:21.340 right now,

01:28:21.640 this is where

01:28:22.040 I need to be.

01:28:22.860 Sometimes it's not

01:28:23.440 always comfortable,

01:28:23.980 but this is where

01:28:24.600 I need to be.

01:28:27.660 And sometimes

01:28:28.540 you don't always

01:28:29.000 get to be with

01:28:29.420 the people

01:28:29.760 you want to be with

01:28:30.640 or the

01:28:30.980 or be in the

01:28:32.240 the house

01:28:32.940 you want to be in

01:28:33.640 right now

01:28:34.180 or the

01:28:34.620 get to have

01:28:35.960 the job

01:28:36.440 you want

01:28:36.800 right now,

01:28:37.320 but

01:28:37.640 but those things

01:28:41.140 those things

01:28:42.640 are coming.

01:28:43.120 They're going to

01:28:43.660 come to us

01:28:44.140 when

01:28:44.460 when we're ready.

01:28:48.000 So I'm right

01:28:48.780 where I need

01:28:49.100 to be today.

01:28:51.260 You guys

01:28:51.900 be good to

01:28:52.400 yourselves,

01:28:52.940 man.

01:28:53.280 You deserve

01:28:55.000 it, huh?

01:28:57.940 Get that

01:28:58.560 hitter right

01:28:59.100 here. 0.96

01:28:59.600 That Bishop

01:29:00.040 Gunn, man,

01:29:00.660 these boys

01:29:01.000 are good.

01:29:05.940 We're making

01:29:06.600 it.

01:29:07.700 I ain't

01:29:08.780 seen home

01:29:09.800 in about

01:29:10.540 a hundred

01:29:11.080 days.

01:29:11.760 I can

01:29:12.100 almost hear

01:29:13.260 mama pray

01:29:14.160 for my

01:29:15.280 restless

01:29:15.960 school.

01:29:16.920 That's Travis

01:29:17.420 McCready,

01:29:18.040 that lead

01:29:18.380 singer.

01:29:18.940 And I

01:29:19.540 ain't made

01:29:20.020 a dollar,

01:29:20.700 I ain't

01:29:21.220 spent,

01:29:21.760 but where

01:29:22.260 it's going

01:29:22.840 ain't killed

01:29:23.800 me yet.

01:29:24.860 I still

01:29:25.480 get where

01:29:26.220 I'm bound

01:29:27.140 to go.

01:29:27.800 You got

01:29:28.220 this,

01:29:28.560 baby.

01:29:32.780 I'm making

01:29:33.720 it.

01:29:35.400 I'm making

01:29:36.260 wrong

01:29:36.840 feel right.

01:29:41.280 I'm making

01:29:42.280 it,

01:29:43.140 and if hell's

01:29:44.260 where I'm

01:29:44.780 headed then,

01:29:46.240 I'm making

01:29:47.580 good time.

01:29:49.080 You're making

01:29:49.540 good time.

01:29:52.260 You're making

01:29:53.480 good time,

01:29:54.260 baby.

01:29:54.420 most all

01:30:05.420 of my plans

01:30:06.860 slip right

01:30:08.060 through my

01:30:08.700 hands and

01:30:09.620 wind up

01:30:10.380 next to me

01:30:11.480 broken on

01:30:12.880 the ground.

01:30:15.560 If this

01:30:16.720 bottle was

01:30:17.600 an hourglass,

01:30:18.760 I'd say that

01:30:19.640 I'm about

01:30:20.340 an hour

01:30:20.960 past the

01:30:22.000 minute.

01:30:22.240 I should've

01:30:23.900 put it

01:30:24.360 down,

01:30:26.280 but I'm

01:30:30.580 making it,

01:30:32.040 I'm making

01:30:33.400 wrong feel

01:30:35.660 right.

01:30:36.500 Shout out.

01:30:37.200 I'm making

01:30:39.420 it,

01:30:40.080 and if hell's

01:30:41.520 where I'm

01:30:42.060 headed then,

01:30:44.160 I'm making

01:30:44.680 good time.

01:30:46.080 Gangra,

01:30:47.540 we're making

01:30:48.020 good time.

01:30:51.000 We're making

01:30:51.780 good time,

01:30:52.540 baby.

01:30:54.720 We're making

01:30:55.280 good time.

01:30:56.140 We're making

01:30:56.300 good time.

01:30:57.020 right where you

01:31:12.100 need to be,

01:31:12.860 brother.

01:31:13.140 good time.

01:31:15.980 We're making

01:31:18.300 good time.

01:31:23.980 Between the

01:31:25.100 lives that I've

01:31:26.220 crossed and the

01:31:27.940 friends that I've

01:31:29.200 lost, I'm

01:31:30.820 left here alone

01:31:32.720 in my

01:31:33.480 sin.

01:31:34.300 But I'm

01:31:39.080 in pretty

01:31:39.780 good shape

01:31:41.020 for the

01:31:42.020 shape that

01:31:42.920 I'm in.

01:31:44.680 Pretty good

01:31:45.460 shape for the

01:31:46.200 shape that

01:31:47.680 I'm in.

01:31:48.080 I'm making

01:31:49.800 it.

01:31:51.460 I'm making

01:31:52.240 it wrong

01:31:53.200 feel

01:31:54.300 right.

01:31:57.080 Yeah,

01:31:57.720 I'm making

01:31:58.480 it.

01:32:00.180 I'm making

01:32:01.460 it.

01:32:03.080 I'm making

01:32:03.940 good time.

01:32:06.920 They're getting

01:32:08.040 it, these

01:32:08.400 boys.

01:32:08.920 Big Ben

01:32:09.460 and Byrne.

01:32:12.120 I'm making

01:32:12.960 it.

01:32:14.560 I'm making

01:32:15.520 it wrong

01:32:16.480 feel

01:32:17.520 I'm making

01:32:21.740 it.

01:32:22.460 And it

01:32:23.060 tells where

01:32:24.140 I'm heading

01:32:24.700 in.

01:32:26.720 I'm making

01:32:27.280 good time.

01:32:38.400 I'm making

01:32:39.160 good time.

01:32:41.120 Man,

01:32:41.540 that song

01:32:41.900 fit me

01:32:42.420 today.

01:32:44.800 I ain't

01:32:46.200 seen home

01:32:47.260 in about

01:32:48.040 a hundred

01:32:48.580 days.

01:32:49.460 I can

01:32:49.800 almost

01:32:50.580 hear

01:32:51.200 mama

01:32:51.560 pray

01:32:52.080 for my

01:32:53.260 restless

01:32:54.060 soul.

01:32:55.220 take that

01:33:10.600 big John.

01:33:11.320 How about

01:33:11.580 that fade

01:33:12.140 out, huh?

01:33:13.480 Ice

01:33:13.880 John.

01:33:15.900 Frozen

01:33:16.260 John, whatever

01:33:16.820 that guy's name

01:33:17.420 was.

01:33:17.700 How about that

01:33:18.180 fade out right

01:33:18.960 there, big

01:33:19.460 daddy?

01:33:19.820 You guys be

01:33:23.060 good, man.

01:33:23.520 Be good to

01:33:23.860 yourself, huh?

01:33:24.600 Guy.

01:33:25.940 Ladies and 0.98

01:33:26.720 gentlemen, I'm

01:33:27.540 Jonathan Kite and

01:33:28.520 welcome to Kite

01:33:29.260 Club, a podcast

01:33:30.440 where I'll be

01:33:31.180 sharing thoughts on

01:33:31.960 things like current

01:33:32.780 events, stand-up

01:33:33.960 stories, and seven

01:33:35.200 ways to pleasure

01:33:36.020 your partner.

01:33:37.300 The answer may

01:33:38.020 shock you.

01:33:39.040 Sometimes I'll

01:33:39.680 interview my

01:33:40.200 friends.

01:33:41.080 Sometimes I won't.

01:33:42.600 And as always, I'll

01:33:43.780 be joined by the

01:33:44.480 voices in my head.

01:33:45.440 A lot of people

01:33:49.780 are talking about

01:33:50.700 Kite Club.

01:33:51.620 I've been talking

01:33:52.420 about Kite Club

01:33:53.320 for so long, longer

01:33:54.600 than anybody else.

01:33:55.920 So great.

01:33:57.280 Hi,

01:33:57.920 Swaya.

01:33:58.940 Easy deal.

01:34:00.220 Anyone who

01:34:00.860 doesn't listen to

01:34:01.540 Kite Club is a 1.00

01:34:02.680 dodgy bloody 1.00

01:34:03.240 wanker. 1.00

01:34:04.220 Jermaine. 0.82

01:34:05.480 Hi, I'll take a

01:34:06.960 quarter pounder with

01:34:07.780 cheese and a

01:34:08.560 McFlurry.

01:34:09.300 Sorry, sir, but

01:34:09.860 our ice cream

01:34:10.260 machine is broken.

01:34:11.380 Oh, no.

01:34:12.860 I think Tom

01:34:14.640 Hanks just butt

01:34:15.380 dialed me.

01:34:16.100 Anyway, first rule

01:34:17.280 of Kite Club is

01:34:18.360 tell everyone about

01:34:19.560 Kite Club.

01:34:20.280 Second rule of

01:34:20.980 Kite Club is

01:34:22.000 tell everyone about

01:34:23.600 Kite Club.

01:34:24.480 Third rule, like and

01:34:25.740 subscribe wherever you

01:34:26.860 listen to podcasts or

01:34:28.400 watch us on YouTube,

01:34:29.620 yeah?

01:34:30.260 And yes, don't worry,

01:34:31.560 my Brad Pitt impression

01:34:32.560 will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 11, 2019

Sadie Hawkins ｜ This Past Weekend #243

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Summary

Transcript