This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 27, 2017


This Past Follow Up： Brock ｜ This Past Weekend #48


Episode Stats


Length

36 minutes

Words per minute

179.58167

Word count

6,465

Sentence count

712

Harmful content

Misogyny

42

sentences flagged

Toxicity

117

sentences flagged

Hate speech

29

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This past weekend's episode of Brock's Call answered a call that came in from a listener named Brock. He had a question about how to handle a drunk night out with friends and family, and I'm here to answer it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 This past follow-up brought to you by Gray Block Pizza, G-R-E-Y, Block Pizza, in Los Angeles, Pico Boulevard, over by the beach.
00:00:09.480 Get your life, get your pie.
00:00:12.340 Alright, let's do something here.
00:00:19.720 Alright, it's Thursday.
00:00:27.100 Ooh, that's that dirty beat right there. 0.98
00:00:30.000 Man, that sounds like somebody trying to... 1.00
00:00:33.720 Trying to fuck on a space shuttle, doesn't it? 1.00
00:00:40.440 Ooh, that sounds like somebody trying to finger-bang you right off the coast of Mars, baby. 1.00
00:00:47.620 Right off the coast of Pluto.
00:00:49.140 That's Jesse Lucero sending some beautiful music.
00:01:02.800 That's Jesse Lucero.
00:01:04.460 And I don't...
00:01:05.900 I've never met Jesse Lucero, but they dropped me some beautiful music.
00:01:11.260 And that's Jesse Lucero.
00:01:12.540 That could be a man or a woman.
00:01:14.620 And that could be Spanish, Lucero.
00:01:17.380 I don't even know what Lucero means.
00:01:18.840 Probably when you catch a...
00:01:20.180 When you catch, um...
00:01:23.900 When you catch an animal with a rope, I'm...
00:01:26.260 And then it...
00:01:26.900 When it gets free.
00:01:28.600 It's Lucero.
00:01:29.980 Donde es el gato?
00:01:32.460 Oh, yo lo siento.
00:01:35.500 El gato es Lucero.
00:01:37.580 And that's when you lose the cat.
00:01:40.620 But it's Thursday, man.
00:01:41.980 It's Thursday evening.
00:01:43.580 Thursday afternoon here on the West Coast.
00:01:45.260 I gotta go to a wedding in a few minutes.
00:01:47.040 Somebody...
00:01:47.700 A friend of mine.
00:01:49.100 I guess I call him a friend at this point.
00:01:50.640 Is having a wedding.
00:01:53.340 Thursday afternoon.
00:01:54.860 5.30 p.m.
00:01:56.360 In Malibu.
00:01:57.900 Right?
00:01:58.700 Dude, you know how hard it is to get to Malibu?
00:02:00.440 There's one way in, one way out.
00:02:01.780 The PCH.
00:02:02.940 It's gonna be miserable.
00:02:04.560 This is a way to lose, friends.
00:02:05.960 When you have a wedding like that.
00:02:07.680 You know what I'm saying?
00:02:08.720 That's like saying, hey, I'm gonna have a wedding.
00:02:10.720 Um, you know, I'm gonna have a wedding.
00:02:14.220 I'm gonna have it on the top of this mountain.
00:02:16.000 So you gotta hike up there.
00:02:16.940 It's a two-day hike.
00:02:18.520 You know?
00:02:19.180 You're not gonna have any friends, dude.
00:02:20.980 Your parents ain't gonna make it up there.
00:02:23.680 You know? 0.99
00:02:24.200 Some of this wedding shit, man. 1.00
00:02:26.180 You know? 1.00
00:02:27.240 Somebody invited me to a wedding in Africa. 1.00
00:02:30.000 What the fuck, dude? 1.00
00:02:32.760 You think Africa, bro? 1.00
00:02:35.460 You know what I'm saying?
00:02:36.120 Like I got 10 days just to get over to Africa and enjoy myself.
00:02:41.540 He's like, well, just come for a day.
00:02:43.660 I'm not going to Africa for a day.
00:02:48.040 Who goes to Africa? 1.00
00:02:50.120 Africa, dude.
00:02:51.380 The cradle of civilization.
00:02:53.220 I'm just gonna stop by for a couple hours. 1.00
00:02:56.080 Are you out of your fucking brain? 1.00
00:03:00.940 Have somebody cracked into your brain and taken out the good parts? 1.00
00:03:05.120 And he's gonna...
00:03:07.940 I can already tell he's gonna get upset when I don't come.
00:03:10.300 I can already tell.
00:03:12.160 That's crazy.
00:03:13.880 That's like saying, hey, let me have both your arms.
00:03:17.520 Let me have both your arms.
00:03:19.200 And somebody's like, nah, man.
00:03:20.420 I need my arms, you know?
00:03:22.200 I'm trying to hug and I'm trying to, you know, go get the mail.
00:03:25.900 And not have to open the mail with my feet, you know?
00:03:29.480 I'm trying to do things. 1.00
00:03:32.120 What the fuck, bro? 0.99
00:03:33.460 I don't know what's going on anymore, you know? 1.00
00:03:35.560 I really don't sometimes when it's that kind of shit. 0.96
00:03:37.720 But anyhow, I'm happy to be here with you guys on this Thursday evening, this Friday morning. 0.98
00:03:41.700 Whenever you catch this vibe.
00:03:43.080 I don't know when this is coming out.
00:03:44.640 But this is the this past follow-up.
00:03:47.440 And I had a call that came in.
00:03:49.500 I wanted to respond to this dude, Brock's call.
00:03:51.840 We had a lot of callers that responded to Brock.
00:03:54.040 So if you don't know about Brock, he called on the original podcast, you know?
00:03:58.440 Oh, and here's Brock's original call.
00:04:00.340 And this was on the podcast this past weekend.
00:04:03.480 Here's Brock's original call.
00:04:04.940 Let's get into that.
00:04:05.760 Here we go.
00:04:07.920 Hey, Theo.
00:04:09.380 It's Brock, University of Central Missouri.
00:04:12.360 Uh, so, uh, I got a question for you how to handle something.
00:04:18.520 Um, so I'm, uh, I'm kind of short.
00:04:22.800 I don't really, uh, got a lot of confidence in myself when I, uh, at the bars with other people.
00:04:30.500 Because, you know, I don't really know how to talk to a girl or do anything like that. 0.98
00:04:36.280 Okay, I'm going to interrupt you right there, Brock.
00:04:37.880 I appreciate your call, just like I appreciated it on the Monday episode.
00:04:40.820 But I'm going to tell you this.
00:04:42.040 My grandfather grew two inches in his 50s. 1.00
00:04:45.180 So let me drop that into your fucking brain holes, into your side holes, into your fucking sound spouts. 1.00
00:04:51.880 My grandfather grew two inches in his 50s. 1.00
00:04:55.380 You know?
00:04:56.080 Something happened to him.
00:04:57.160 Something in his plates and his, you know, I don't know what happened, dude.
00:05:00.780 Played tectonic shift down in his genetics and put out.
00:05:03.320 Now, next thing you know, Achilles, that was my grandfather's name, Achilles, and that's a true story.
00:05:11.280 My father's name was Theodore Achilles.
00:05:13.500 And he was suddenly two inches taller.
00:05:15.800 And apparently, he didn't get along with my grandmother after that.
00:05:21.320 Him and my grandmother, they had issues after that.
00:05:25.860 So, and if that tells you anything, Brock, that tells you that sometime showing up small at first and maybe forever can be to your benefit.
00:05:35.520 Because this was the love of his life.
00:05:38.980 You know?
00:05:39.780 This was the love of his life.
00:05:41.920 And when he grew taller, when he stretched out, you know, when God hit him with that magic two spot in his 50s, then he wasn't in love anymore.
00:05:53.160 So, man, that's really, when you think about that, that at that height and that size and whatever stature he was at, that that's where love met him best.
00:06:03.340 And then height became an affliction for him as he aged.
00:06:08.980 Height became an affliction for that man.
00:06:11.660 And somehow, just the gravitational pull, the balance, the, you know, the vertica horizontalicus, whatever it was, that spell that meshed him in with this bride of his, this, you know, my grandmother, it fell off.
00:06:27.620 And so, man, there was something, there was magic in being small.
00:06:30.900 But that was, let's finish up your call.
00:06:32.740 Here you go.
00:06:33.540 So, yeah, man.
00:06:37.020 I don't know, I don't know how to handle it, man.
00:06:40.300 I just get in my head.
00:06:41.220 I don't know how to overcome that.
00:06:43.900 Seems like you could have some good advice on this one.
00:06:46.560 Let me know.
00:06:47.360 Thanks, man.
00:06:48.180 Bye.
00:06:49.880 And I'm going to get to some advice.
00:06:51.120 We had some callers that called in.
00:06:52.140 I'm going to jump into those.
00:06:52.900 But I'll tell you this, Brock.
00:06:53.740 We all have, you know, insecurities and things that make us feel less than, you know.
00:06:59.220 At night, I'll be wearing a neck brace at night, you know, because I want to stretch my neck out a little bit because I've always thought I had a small neck.
00:07:05.860 You know, I've always thought I've been a little bit shy in the neck, you know.
00:07:10.360 And a neck really is just that fifth arm.
00:07:13.080 A neck is just that chubby fifth arm that's coming out the middle of your torso at the top, you know.
00:07:19.180 And people could say this or say that.
00:07:20.860 No, that's what it is, you know.
00:07:22.940 It's that fifth appendage.
00:07:24.340 It's that third arm.
00:07:25.480 It's that, you know, it's that short upper leg.
00:07:28.740 You know, that's all it is.
00:07:29.920 It's that fifth appendage.
00:07:30.940 It's that magical fifth appendage, the neck.
00:07:33.380 Now, unfortunately, the other appendages, they don't hold much, you know.
00:07:37.580 Two of them have a hand.
00:07:38.720 Two of them have a foot.
00:07:39.860 But that neck, that's the one holding onto your head, man.
00:07:43.000 That's the one running around with that crystal ball in its grasp.
00:07:45.960 And I've always wanted a better neck, a longer neck.
00:07:48.180 And so you'll catch me sometime in the evening relaxing with a cool drink and a neck brace on.
00:07:54.340 You know, and that's so, you know, we all are short somewhere.
00:07:57.820 We're all short of something.
00:08:00.280 I want you to know that.
00:08:01.280 But let's get some calls that came in for Brock.
00:08:03.820 Here we go.
00:08:05.000 Here we go right here.
00:08:08.740 Hey, Theo.
00:08:10.060 Hey, bro.
00:08:10.920 I love the podcast, man. 1.00
00:08:12.960 You're a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:08:14.860 Hey, man, I'm calling from Tacoma, Washington. 1.00
00:08:18.260 Tacoma, Washington.
00:08:19.140 Good place to square dance and eat granola.
00:08:21.520 You'd be surprised.
00:08:22.460 Onward.
00:08:23.540 In regards to Brock from last week, I just want to let him know that I'm also short and troll-like.
00:08:33.100 Wow, that's that double.
00:08:34.900 When you come in a little bit troll-ish, you know.
00:08:37.540 And look, I'll say for myself, I've always looked like a cross between Tom Brady and Shrek.
00:08:41.820 And so I know I got a little bit of that magical, you know, I got a little bit of those magical tree-loving and tree-living type of ogre qualities in me.
00:08:51.820 Onward.
00:08:52.920 But, hey, I wanted to encourage him, you know, in his pursuit.
00:08:56.980 And I wanted to see or to encourage him for taller women. 0.99
00:09:01.960 You know, opposites attract.
00:09:04.120 And, you know, if you had kids, you know, they could get the height from her. 1.00
00:09:08.200 Wow, that's a really great point.
00:09:10.520 Opposites attract.
00:09:11.480 And then another follow-up point there that, yeah, don't feel that burden to carry the height onto a child.
00:09:18.680 Because you can also grasp that height from a woman, you know, from the other. 0.91
00:09:24.940 So 50% of it's her responsibility, you know, when it comes to the genetics.
00:09:29.040 Onward.
00:09:29.800 You know, even better.
00:09:30.840 Who doesn't want big, strong kids, you know?
00:09:32.740 So, and, but a word of caution, just with taller women comes taller limbs. 1.00
00:09:39.480 You know, it's easier to get kicked in the head while doing sex. 1.00
00:09:43.540 Damn. 1.00
00:09:44.080 You know, just be careful. 1.00
00:09:45.640 There you go.
00:09:46.620 And there you go.
00:09:47.380 The taller limbs, that's dangerous, you know?
00:09:50.000 I mean, say you're trying to rescue a woman.
00:09:53.120 You know, if there's a fire and you're trying to rescue your lady, it's easy to rescue a smaller lady. 0.98
00:09:59.780 Throw her on your back, you know? 0.99
00:10:01.460 Wrap her around your waist. 0.88
00:10:02.500 Tie her around your waist. 0.93
00:10:04.200 But you got a long drink of water.
00:10:07.420 You know?
00:10:08.120 You got to drag her by the arms. 1.00
00:10:09.540 You got to get help.
00:10:11.060 You know, you got to put wheels.
00:10:12.120 You got to put a skateboard under her. 1.00
00:10:14.480 Much tougher to rescue a longer woman. 0.98
00:10:17.080 But those are some good points.
00:10:18.140 I appreciate that call.
00:10:19.500 And those are words just for you, Brock, there in central Missouri.
00:10:22.980 Which is actually swinger country. 0.99
00:10:25.020 So that's, you could meet a man or woman out there.
00:10:27.440 But let's go, let's keep it going, Brock.
00:10:29.120 We had a lot of good souls that called in, man.
00:10:32.180 This stuff boosted my, this boosted, this made my day today.
00:10:35.900 Were these calls that came in the past few days.
00:10:38.480 Here we go.
00:10:39.260 Onward.
00:10:41.640 Hey, Theo.
00:10:42.820 Hey, bro.
00:10:43.660 I love the podcast, man. 1.00
00:10:45.720 You're a bad motherfucker. 1.00
00:10:46.940 Oh, that's the same call. 1.00
00:10:49.020 All right, here we go.
00:10:50.060 Onward.
00:10:51.720 Yo, what up, Theo?
00:10:53.260 This is Henrik from Los Angeles.
00:10:56.500 And I was just listening to your boy, Barack.
00:11:00.540 Thanks for calling, Henrik.
00:11:02.000 I was having some issues and insecurities based off, based on his height.
00:11:07.520 And I am very familiar with that topic.
00:11:10.800 I'm like 5'6".
00:11:12.220 My whole life I've been insecure.
00:11:14.780 Thinking girls will never look at me.
00:11:17.780 Because everything you hear since you're a little kid is, oh, I want a tall, handsome man.
00:11:24.660 And that's what, like, women say. 1.00
00:11:27.040 That's true.
00:11:27.620 I'm going to interrupt you there, Henrik.
00:11:28.680 I'm sorry.
00:11:29.700 But that's a good point.
00:11:31.320 You do hear that.
00:11:32.640 You know, it's this thing that gets put in our heads.
00:11:35.040 You know, we're always talking about the things that get put in women's heads. 1.00
00:11:38.600 You know, when some of these ladies got the dark arts wrapped up in her skull. 1.00
00:11:42.460 You know? 0.99
00:11:43.360 They got this just damn, you know. 0.99
00:11:46.400 I mean, these ladies are, you know, they got vanilla dreams in their head. 1.00
00:11:49.040 But they out here watching Snapped.
00:11:50.700 And watching murder shows.
00:11:51.940 And being addicted to murder.
00:11:52.960 But anyhow, that's a great point.
00:11:55.500 That as men, you got to excuse me.
00:11:58.120 I'm having a candy corn right now.
00:12:00.060 Found one on my desk.
00:12:01.680 But as men, we are, we get overwhelmed with the idea that tall, dark, and handsome.
00:12:09.200 You know?
00:12:10.760 Tall, dark, and handsome is always that motto, you know.
00:12:13.300 Oh, I want a man that's tall, dark, and handsome.
00:12:15.900 It's not a dude that's short and has some scoliosis, you know, with a mole.
00:12:21.380 You know?
00:12:22.200 It's not a dude that only has nine fingers and likes to bicycle.
00:12:26.360 That's not the motto, you know.
00:12:28.800 It's not, it's not, you know, short, loud, and splotchy.
00:12:34.400 That's not the motto.
00:12:35.380 It's tall, dark, and handsome.
00:12:36.660 So that's an affliction that we're born trying to live up to.
00:12:39.420 And that's artificial.
00:12:40.460 That's a really good point.
00:12:41.260 Henrik, let's take more. 1.00
00:12:42.080 That's all I was raised to, like, think until I started just noticing that me just being myself and loving myself and saying, you know, well, fuck it. 0.99
00:12:55.360 It is what it is. 0.99
00:12:56.800 Just living my life, you know, taking care of myself.
00:13:00.500 I was healthy.
00:13:01.900 I have a nice body and everything.
00:13:03.840 And started noticing that, actually, I'm pretty good at getting girls.
00:13:07.860 Girls are kind of coming up to me. 1.00
00:13:09.380 I'm always quiet, shy.
00:13:10.860 I, somehow, women would always come up to me. 1.00
00:13:13.520 They would actually initiate stuff or, like, send their friends to tell me that their friend thinks I'm cute and stuff.
00:13:20.340 There you go.
00:13:22.100 There you go.
00:13:22.760 Like, sometimes being shy and quiet can be to your advantage.
00:13:26.580 That's what Henrik's telling you right there, Brock, is that, and that's true.
00:13:30.820 I mean, Henrik's coming in sounding like that silent killer.
00:13:33.740 You know, he stays off in the cut.
00:13:35.300 He's silent.
00:13:35.980 But then he's killing it when it comes to the ladies. 0.99
00:13:38.660 He's that silent killer.
00:13:39.800 Emphysema, I think, is what it usually is.
00:13:42.400 Or strokes or something.
00:13:43.840 Whatever.
00:13:44.200 That silent killer.
00:13:45.060 They always say, the silent killer.
00:13:47.300 Emphysema.
00:13:48.420 Whatever's killing a lot of seniors.
00:13:49.720 But that sometimes, you know, it's not always that outgoing, loud, boisterous dude.
00:13:57.060 You know?
00:13:57.740 Because I can be loud sometimes, you know?
00:13:59.760 My default a lot of times when it's around women was to be loud. 1.00
00:14:04.500 You know? 0.94
00:14:05.260 Be goofy or be funny.
00:14:06.660 Say something, you know, jarring or, you know, spit in this girl's hair one time and I feel bad about that still.
00:14:13.700 And that was in, I think, sixth grade.
00:14:15.760 But to do something like that, you know, some obtuse activity.
00:14:20.640 You know?
00:14:21.280 Something big.
00:14:22.820 Something loud.
00:14:24.580 But that, a lot of times, women don't want that. 1.00
00:14:27.660 They want a peaceful man.
00:14:29.680 So if you're shy, I mean, another way to look at that is peaceful.
00:14:33.780 You know?
00:14:34.140 So you're not just afflicting yourself by accusing yourself of being shy.
00:14:38.340 You know?
00:14:39.080 You might also just be at peace.
00:14:40.720 You might just be calm.
00:14:41.760 But if you're framing it as being shy to yourself, then that's, then it's looked at by you or it's felt, it can be felt by you as a hindrance or as a hurdle.
00:14:55.280 You know?
00:14:56.340 It's usually that quiet dude that got that fine little lady on him. 1.00
00:15:00.180 You know?
00:15:01.060 It's just, sometimes you'll see a deaf dude with a beautiful horse.
00:15:04.720 And I remember that growing up.
00:15:06.340 They had a field near the edge of our, kind of the far end of our neighborhood.
00:15:11.740 And they had a deaf, they had a deaf, I don't know if it was a boy or a man.
00:15:15.440 Sometimes the deaf can really, you know, you don't know where they're at on the calendar. 1.00
00:15:20.360 You know, on the, on the big picture calendar, age.
00:15:26.060 But, you, I didn't know if it was a boy or a man, but he had a beautiful horse.
00:15:32.160 So you just, it's not always the loud one that catches that pretty pony.
00:15:36.500 Let's take another call here for you.
00:15:38.240 Here we go.
00:15:38.940 Hey, Theo.
00:15:39.520 Hope you're doing well, brother.
00:15:41.320 I wanted to talk about our boy Brock from Missouri who called in last week.
00:15:46.760 Give him a little advice.
00:15:47.960 I know he's a little insecure about his height and speaking to women.
00:15:51.980 B-Rock, man, we're all different animals.
00:15:54.380 You know, we walk different.
00:15:55.760 We talk different.
00:15:56.560 We smell, we smell different. 0.79
00:15:58.580 At a Saudi roommate in college, he smelled like hookah and nut fog.
00:16:02.780 But anyway. 1.00
00:16:03.660 Damn, hookah and nut fog. 1.00
00:16:05.960 I don't even heard of nut fog. 1.00
00:16:07.740 Now, I used to share a room with a chow. 1.00
00:16:11.700 Not the dog, actually a Chinese boy. 0.99
00:16:15.260 And he, to me, he had a smell of kind of a smoky smell.
00:16:20.580 You know, something you would use to kind of spice up meats.
00:16:23.420 And that was exciting to be around him.
00:16:25.140 But after a while, even that gets kind of, makes you ill a little.
00:16:29.020 Let's hear more, brother.
00:16:29.780 Onward.
00:16:30.220 The truth is, man, any insecurities that you have about yourself, women have more, man.
00:16:35.780 It's like X plus one.
00:16:37.240 And, you know, any inadequacies you feel, women feel those too, man.
00:16:43.300 And when you're talking to women, you're nervous. 1.00
00:16:45.440 They're just as nervous as you are, dude.
00:16:47.400 So get out there and get your hands dirty, man.
00:16:50.440 Wow, there you go. 0.69
00:16:51.600 Get your hands dirty.
00:16:53.860 You know?
00:16:54.660 And that's a good point, man.
00:16:55.760 Sometimes we forget.
00:16:56.380 Sometimes, dude, it's so crazy, Brock.
00:16:57.940 And, like, I'm glad you called and asked this question, Brock, because it's got all of us thinking now.
00:17:03.520 You know, yeah, sometimes we are so, it's almost a fault of our ego in a weird way.
00:17:10.360 It's like we think we're the only ones with a problem.
00:17:15.220 You know?
00:17:15.740 It's like you go talk to the, you know, talk to someone.
00:17:19.720 You know, say, well, let's use your example.
00:17:21.220 You're approaching a girl.
00:17:22.520 You know, and you're thinking to yourself, man, dude, she doesn't like me or she thinks I'm less than or I'm not.
00:17:27.940 You don't even think about what she's thinking.
00:17:31.460 She might be thinking nobody's even talked to me this month, you know, or, you know, maybe I have, you know, my skin isn't right or, you know, something about my weight or the way I carry myself, you know?
00:17:41.960 It's like, and women are more prone to those things, it seems like. 1.00
00:17:47.740 I think in time and recently, men have become more prone to those things, you know?
00:17:53.080 But historically, women have been. 1.00
00:17:55.940 So that's a good point, man.
00:17:57.120 Like, you know, and sometimes a good way to meet somebody is by taking something that you know is an insecurity of theirs that you would just guess, you know, and say to them, oh, you know, oh, you have really pretty eyes, you know?
00:18:13.080 Say she wears glasses.
00:18:14.700 Say, oh, yeah, I think you have really pretty eyes.
00:18:16.820 And say it real, you know, and be real about it.
00:18:19.680 If you, you know, and you don't have to lie to her, you know, but just think of something that, oh, well, that might be an insecurity for that person, you know?
00:18:28.220 They got big feet.
00:18:29.060 I like your feet.
00:18:30.280 You know, I like what you're standing on.
00:18:31.640 I like your pedestals, you know?
00:18:33.840 Like, I remember, you know, like I have a big nose. 0.98
00:18:38.860 This girl told me one time when I was young, she said, you got a nigga nose. 0.99
00:18:43.740 She used the N-word, you know, you got a nigga nose. 1.00
00:18:46.900 This black girl would tell me that all the time. 1.00
00:18:49.140 You know, like I got a nose like a black kid, you know? 0.99
00:18:51.880 And that was her perception.
00:18:53.500 And I got a wide nose, you know?
00:18:55.800 I mean, I got, I might be slightly urban, you know? 0.95
00:18:57.760 I'm wide in a crotch as well.
00:18:59.220 So, you know, I mean, game recognize game, dude. 0.99
00:19:03.980 You know, when my nose sees my dick, they recognize each other, you know? 0.99
00:19:08.360 Because I'm thick down there and thick up top, you know? 0.99
00:19:11.280 And that's nature.
00:19:12.040 That's my nature.
00:19:13.760 But it made me feel insecure, you know?
00:19:16.860 And sometimes still does make me feel insecure, man, you know?
00:19:20.060 I mean, I could, dude, I could label 30 things about myself that I wish I could change.
00:19:23.780 But sometimes I would notice if a girl said to me, would like touch my nose, like, oh, you have a cute nose. 0.64
00:19:30.500 Or something like that, that just immediately it takes away whatever those insecurities are.
00:19:35.780 That can be a really great way to flirt with somebody.
00:19:38.480 Because everybody has them, you know?
00:19:41.380 Everybody has them, man.
00:19:43.120 I just got a dang email. 1.00
00:19:44.960 You know, if these fucking people don't fix this shit, I've asked him a million times, just pay the bill. 1.00
00:19:51.420 Oh, Christ. 1.00
00:19:52.120 But let's keep it on, man.
00:19:53.220 Great, great calls.
00:19:54.100 I appreciate this.
00:19:54.760 Let's hear some more.
00:19:55.540 Hey, this is Punk Ass from Baltimore.
00:19:57.680 Definitely agree with some of the advantages you said.
00:20:00.720 Wrestling, finding things on the ground.
00:20:02.660 Something you may have forgotten.
00:20:04.480 Fitting in places in general.
00:20:06.320 I mean, I got a friend who drives a little car.
00:20:08.900 He's 6'5".
00:20:10.240 Every day looks like a stress just to go to work.
00:20:12.880 Hey.
00:20:13.920 And there you go. 0.95
00:20:15.100 That's Punk Ass from Baltimore. 0.97
00:20:16.340 And he's saying that every day is a stress to go to work for his friend who ended up in a Mini Cooper or some type of small vehicle.
00:20:22.340 You know?
00:20:22.880 And that's true, too.
00:20:24.740 You know, you see a tall guy.
00:20:26.340 If you see a tall dude on a bicycle, he always looks like he stole it.
00:20:30.180 You know?
00:20:31.720 Because it don't fit for him.
00:20:33.560 It never fits.
00:20:34.980 If you're tall and you're getting into some pants, dude, it'll take you probably six extra seconds to get into some pants.
00:20:41.660 You know?
00:20:42.180 Because you've got to travel probably an extra three feet, a foot and a half on each leg.
00:20:46.600 So it's just, you know, there's advantages and disadvantages to everything.
00:20:50.900 Let's hear another one.
00:20:51.620 Here we go.
00:20:52.720 Hey, Theo.
00:20:53.340 Hope you're doing well, brother.
00:20:54.720 Oh, we already listened to that one.
00:20:56.120 All right.
00:20:56.380 Let's hear another one.
00:20:57.020 Here we go.
00:20:58.140 What's up, brother?
00:20:58.860 Calling from Colorado with some bikes for Brock.
00:21:01.500 Sounds like a young man.
00:21:02.720 So I thought I could maybe help him out a little bit.
00:21:05.360 Thank you for the call.
00:21:06.420 Onward.
00:21:07.080 Theo kind of mentioned, you know, we all have stuff.
00:21:10.400 And he's true, right?
00:21:11.400 Like some dudes are skinny. 0.50
00:21:12.460 Some dudes are fat. 0.89
00:21:13.340 Some dudes are poor.
00:21:14.240 Some dudes, you know, maybe our subconscious about being rich.
00:21:16.540 Who knows? 0.99
00:21:18.200 But the point is, is that everyone has some kind of shit that they have to overcome before they can talk to, 0.99
00:21:25.380 you know, somebody of the opposite sex. 1.00
00:21:28.380 So keep that in mind and just say, fuck it, man. 1.00
00:21:31.320 And go for it. 1.00
00:21:31.820 And if you see somebody worth talking to, go and talk to them.
00:21:34.360 And the other thing to remember.
00:21:35.860 And that's a good point.
00:21:37.260 Is this that everybody has a hurdle to overcome.
00:21:40.060 And let me say this to you, Brock, man.
00:21:42.340 Is that, I don't know how old you are.
00:21:44.500 I think you said you were young.
00:21:46.100 And you're in college there, so you're young, you know.
00:21:48.560 Or you're young, you know, on the 100-year span, you're young.
00:21:53.080 You know, you're in that 20-year range or whatever.
00:21:56.940 So the things that are the most challenging to you now, I know you can't see it, dude.
00:22:01.900 But I promise you will be the things that will be most rewarding to you in the future, you know. 0.99
00:22:06.880 And if you don't have any challenges, you're going to be a piece of shit, odds are. 0.99
00:22:12.820 If you don't have any struggle, then you're not going to know struggle. 0.99
00:22:16.660 And if there's one thing, and I had a caller remind me of this recently.
00:22:22.500 I think it may have been on one of the episodes.
00:22:25.140 Was that if I didn't have my life, and I didn't have my struggle, and I didn't have the things that I hated about myself,
00:22:31.880 or the things that I have hated, then I wouldn't be able to, then there's no journey.
00:22:39.000 Then there's no journey, dude, you know.
00:22:45.240 And that, in the end, that's what it's about, man.
00:22:48.060 It's about your story, you know.
00:22:51.060 What's your story?
00:22:51.980 You were a beautiful, perfect-looking kid.
00:22:54.060 You went to med school, you know.
00:22:57.380 You married a girl.
00:22:58.780 You had two kids.
00:22:59.680 She's blonde hair. 1.00
00:23:00.460 You got two beautiful kids, you know.
00:23:02.060 You got a golden retriever.
00:23:03.840 Y'all got some plants.
00:23:04.800 Y'all live in Boston in a brownstone, you know.
00:23:09.000 Her father dies of Alzheimer's.
00:23:11.480 The mother comes and lives with you.
00:23:13.700 You take care of the mother, kind of, but not really, you know.
00:23:18.100 You guys go for weekends in Maine, and that's your life.
00:23:23.880 Guess what, man?
00:23:25.660 I just could guess your life, because that's laid out, you know.
00:23:31.300 That's the easy one.
00:23:32.760 No struggle.
00:23:33.700 There's no turns.
00:23:35.160 There's no turns if that's your life.
00:23:38.200 But that's not your life, dude.
00:23:40.080 You're blessed, bro.
00:23:40.880 You are blessed with some struggle.
00:23:43.800 And you're not going to recognize it now, you know, fully.
00:23:48.900 And I'm not trying to preach at you.
00:23:50.640 I just, I don't want your spirit to be sitting there hurting, man.
00:23:55.240 Because, you know, I've spent years, years of my life hurting for things that I didn't need to be hurting for, just because I was unable to get, to hear other people talk about it.
00:24:10.560 And then, and just to know I wasn't alone.
00:24:13.240 So, you know what I'm saying?
00:24:14.840 You're not going to be typical, man.
00:24:16.740 You're not typical, bro?
00:24:18.480 That's amazing.
00:24:19.660 I think that's amazing.
00:24:21.140 Let's take another caller here.
00:24:22.420 Here we go.
00:24:23.900 This may have been everyone.
00:24:25.340 Oh, we got, let's continue that call.
00:24:26.800 I'm sorry I interrupted.
00:24:27.680 There's a second part to that.
00:24:28.760 is that it goes to the exact scene for women, too. 0.93
00:24:32.480 You know, if you're self-conscious about being short, I guarantee you that whoever you're going to go talk to is self-conscious about something.
00:24:40.060 But if you are willing and able to go talk to them, that might make you feel good because then they'll say, oh, somebody's looking past, you know, my own insecurities.
00:24:50.080 So maybe this is a good dude.
00:24:51.580 So anyway, man, yeah, hope that helps.
00:24:55.200 That's a good point.
00:24:56.360 That's a great point, man.
00:24:57.540 And I appreciate that call from Colorado.
00:24:59.360 A lot of good people out there.
00:25:01.260 And that brings up another thought to me is that, you know, if you make that effort, and here's what you hear.
00:25:10.000 Sometimes I put the girls on such a pedestal that I was unable to even approach them because I put them in this realm where I couldn't, where no matter what I said was automatically going to be wrong, no matter what they were already, you know, they were this, you know, they looked seven times better than they even looked, you know.
00:25:28.420 And the truth is that once you look at somebody for about three or four seconds and you're not afraid to break eye contact with them and stuff, they get a lot more real.
00:25:36.300 So then you're not battling this image, you know, of whatever, you know, of women or of this, but of a particular girl, you know, like then you're actually talking to a real person, you know.
00:25:49.480 And sometimes I forgot that I was talking even to a real person.
00:25:52.300 I got so insecure in my head about approaching women that sometimes I forgot.
00:25:56.840 It was like, oh, women, here's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl, it's a girl. 1.00
00:25:59.560 It wasn't even like, oh, here's a person.
00:26:02.100 Let's see if I even like them.
00:26:03.500 Let's see if they even like me.
00:26:05.360 I automatically had it pegged in my head that I wasn't a match for women that are that I wasn't a match for a girl just because she was pretty. 1.00
00:26:14.540 You know, I believe that about myself.
00:26:16.620 I was like, man, I'm not a match for this girl.
00:26:18.180 She's pretty. 0.99
00:26:18.620 Why would she like me? 0.99
00:26:20.480 But another way to look at this shit was would I even like her? 0.99
00:26:24.680 And half the time I realized that most women, I don't even have, I don't like them at all. 1.00
00:26:29.860 I respect them and I think they're good people.
00:26:33.520 But I don't have, but I'm just saying I don't have an attraction for them.
00:26:37.100 Even though in my head it was all about whether or not they had an attraction for me.
00:26:41.740 Anyhow, let's go onward.
00:26:43.060 I think we got one more here.
00:26:45.520 Hey, Theo, this is Nick from Las Vegas.
00:26:47.700 I got a little bit of advice for that Brot guy.
00:26:51.760 You bet, Nick.
00:26:52.540 Thanks for the call, brother.
00:26:53.440 Onward.
00:26:53.860 Who's a little worried about being short.
00:26:56.020 He's got low confidence.
00:26:58.380 Remember a couple things, man.
00:27:00.100 It's not about your height.
00:27:01.180 It's not about your looks.
00:27:02.600 It's about your attitude.
00:27:04.240 If you believe in yourself, you have good things to offer.
00:27:07.640 You'll get ladies. 0.98
00:27:08.480 You'll have things to talk about.
00:27:10.280 You know, I hear a lot of people say that they're bored all the time.
00:27:12.620 And I always remember this saying, you're not bored, you're boring.
00:27:16.120 Stop being boring.
00:27:17.580 Go out there, live an exciting life.
00:27:20.320 And you'll find things to talk about with people.
00:27:22.660 You'll have interests and hobbies and whatnot.
00:27:25.120 And it'll come naturally.
00:27:26.860 Beyond that, maybe stop trying to meet ladies at bars. 0.98
00:27:30.600 Wow.
00:27:32.220 Boom.
00:27:33.020 That's a good point.
00:27:34.960 That's a good point.
00:27:35.900 And look, man, for years I was out there.
00:27:38.240 I was thinking that that's where I had to meet a lady. 1.00
00:27:40.500 That's a really great point.
00:27:41.660 I mean, that first point is great.
00:27:43.660 You know, the more circles you put yourself in.
00:27:46.220 And I was talking to Joe Rogan the other day, man.
00:27:48.160 I was having a tough time.
00:27:49.240 And he's listening to me at the improv.
00:27:51.480 And, you know, a good dude, man.
00:27:53.520 You know, he's listening to me and he's saying, you've got to stay busy.
00:27:58.280 You know, you've got to find things to do.
00:28:00.200 You can't wait for your life to just show up the way you want it to look.
00:28:04.800 You need to be out making your life.
00:28:08.760 And he's right.
00:28:09.560 And I remember a girl told me that one time with what our caller just said.
00:28:13.740 A girl told me I was at the UCLA Recreation Center.
00:28:18.200 And she asked me what had been going on, a girl that I thought was cute.
00:28:21.420 She's like, what's been going on?
00:28:22.660 And I said, oh, not much.
00:28:23.900 You know, just, I'm just bored.
00:28:26.020 And she said, well, if you're bored, you're boring.
00:28:28.960 And that stuck with me because the truth was, dude, I was boring.
00:28:33.200 There wasn't anything special to my life.
00:28:35.180 You know, there was some things going on.
00:28:37.220 But there wasn't some things I was doing.
00:28:39.800 And the more you do, the more people you meet.
00:28:42.800 And guess what?
00:28:43.520 Some of the people are going to be girls. 1.00
00:28:44.920 I don't care if it's painting. 0.99
00:28:46.040 I don't care if it's fucking juggling. 1.00
00:28:47.680 I don't care if it's, you know, stretching and yoga and trying to look up your own asshole. 1.00
00:28:51.940 More stuff you do, more people you're going to meet. 1.00
00:28:53.780 Because guess what? 0.99
00:28:55.640 Everybody likes to try and look up their ass at least once. 0.99
00:28:58.240 I don't care if they're man or woman. 0.99
00:29:00.120 Onward.
00:29:01.180 You know, if you go get into a yoga class, you might meet a lady there. 0.97
00:29:05.000 You start going to the library, checking out books, you might meet a lady or whatever you're into there. 0.98
00:29:10.040 Hey, if you can check out books, you can check out bitches. 1.00
00:29:13.480 Feel me? 0.99
00:29:14.040 Onward.
00:29:14.400 You know, get out and live life and stop going and sitting in front of a bartender every night.
00:29:21.660 And maybe some good things will happen, man.
00:29:24.240 And I'm only speaking from experience, not speaking down on Brock or anybody else who's in that position.
00:29:28.820 I've been there myself.
00:29:29.780 So just get out there and live it, man.
00:29:32.220 Thanks for the podcast, Theo.
00:29:33.500 Take it easy, bro.
00:29:34.260 Thank you, Nick.
00:29:35.500 That was Nick from Vegas.
00:29:36.460 Dude, and that's the calls that came in.
00:29:38.540 You know, and honestly, I don't think we could have ended on a better one, man.
00:29:41.180 That was pretty cool.
00:29:42.340 I mean, and I literally just put these in an order and just went right down them.
00:29:47.440 And I don't think we could have ended on a better note.
00:29:50.440 You know, that's just, you know, we all out here.
00:29:54.300 You know, we're all out here.
00:29:57.020 You know?
00:29:58.360 And at least you're out here being real.
00:30:00.260 Let me tell you this, Brock.
00:30:02.440 You know?
00:30:04.040 You're out here caring about what's going on in your life.
00:30:08.540 That's a big head start.
00:30:11.000 You got a big head start, dude.
00:30:13.080 At 20 years old, you're caring about your own self-confidence.
00:30:15.900 You're caring about, you know, what you're going to do in the world.
00:30:19.080 And you're caring about, you know, you're caring about meeting women.
00:30:22.680 But even more than that, you're, you know, you're going to start battling what the things that make you feel insecure.
00:30:28.460 And, dude, at 25, you're going to be so far ahead of people.
00:30:31.860 I'm 37, dude.
00:30:33.480 And I'm going to therapy.
00:30:35.200 You know? 0.99
00:30:36.180 And I'm out here working and doing workbooks and having a sponsor and all this shit. 0.68
00:30:40.820 Because I didn't do what, you know, I wasn't doing what you were doing.
00:30:44.780 I wasn't reaching out when I was young.
00:30:47.080 You know?
00:30:48.060 But, man, I don't think I could have asked for a better series of calls to come in about this, dude.
00:30:53.520 This made my day, man. 1.00
00:30:54.660 All of this shit. 1.00
00:30:55.940 All this beautiful, beautiful shit, dude. 1.00
00:30:59.160 You know? 1.00
00:31:00.460 Because this is the real shit, man. 1.00
00:31:02.800 Fuck Nicki Minaj, dude. 1.00
00:31:04.060 I can't. 1.00
00:31:04.660 She's a piece of shit. 1.00
00:31:06.620 Sorry. 1.00
00:31:07.020 She was just on the news today talking about how she doesn't get any respect or something. 0.99
00:31:11.020 All she can do is talk fast.
00:31:13.220 You know?
00:31:14.440 Let's find somebody with talent, dude.
00:31:16.760 How about somebody who's battling what's really going on in their life on some real levels?
00:31:20.560 You know? 0.98
00:31:20.840 Not some commercialized bullshit. 0.98
00:31:23.580 Dude, I'm happy to be here. 0.97
00:31:25.320 I'm excited as well.
00:31:26.420 I'm going to drop our new sponsor, man.
00:31:27.940 Gray Block Pizza.
00:31:29.380 They're on Pico Boulevard.
00:31:30.700 I think it's 1801.
00:31:32.800 Let me see, man.
00:31:33.900 Gray Block Pizza.
00:31:35.900 You know they're out here.
00:31:37.340 Santa Monica.
00:31:38.780 And we're happy to have them.
00:31:40.200 1811 Pico Boulevard, Santa Monica.
00:31:42.040 If you're out here in Los Angeles, hit up Gray Block.
00:31:44.760 Good people over there doing good things.
00:31:47.440 Brock, be good.
00:31:48.820 Take care of yourself, dude.
00:31:50.700 You know?
00:31:51.360 If you want to hit a call and drop a thank you or whatever, feel free to do that.
00:31:54.320 I'll post it on next week.
00:31:55.860 Otherwise, I'll see you guys on Monday on this past weekend.
00:31:59.120 Thank you so much for all the calls, man.
00:32:00.800 And tell your friends to subscribe.
00:32:02.800 Subscribe on iTunes.
00:32:04.400 Subscribe on YouTube.
00:32:06.160 You know?
00:32:06.440 Because that's how we're going to get this thing to the next level.
00:32:09.060 You know?
00:32:09.460 I'm really grateful for our first charter sponsor, Gray Block.
00:32:11.980 Because they're going to allow us to start to do some other things.
00:32:15.140 I'm grateful for our Patreon.
00:32:17.200 You know?
00:32:17.480 Because that's going to allow us.
00:32:18.320 We've got the new camera.
00:32:19.440 You know?
00:32:19.700 This thing's crystal clear.
00:32:21.260 Dude.
00:32:22.380 Crystal clear, boy. 1.00
00:32:24.240 Like a damn wizard out here. 1.00
00:32:26.300 In these site streets. 1.00
00:32:28.540 You know?
00:32:29.200 And we're going to do other things.
00:32:31.000 You know?
00:32:31.200 We're going to try to get this studio a little bit bigger.
00:32:33.400 You know?
00:32:33.640 Maybe get a console.
00:32:34.660 Maybe even get a news desk.
00:32:36.460 And we're going to start being able to pay a producer to reach out to prisoners and inmates
00:32:39.640 and see what's crack-a-lacking behind bars.
00:32:43.420 So we can go to the ends of problems.
00:32:45.480 You know? 0.99
00:32:46.140 Let's get to the ends of this bullshit. 0.98
00:32:48.020 And see what happens when you don't get the things right. 0.99
00:32:50.520 And we can talk about sex in a prison and what they're doing in there.
00:32:53.420 How they're doing sex.
00:32:54.820 So we're going to get into all of it, man.
00:32:56.480 But I'm feeling joyous, dude. 0.99
00:32:58.060 I've got to go sit in traffic for an hour to go to somebody's fucking wedding. 0.99
00:33:03.460 5.30. 1.00
00:33:05.520 Think 5.30 on a Thursday in Los Angeles.
00:33:11.620 Woo.
00:33:11.980 But I'm going to go.
00:33:14.340 I'm going to show up.
00:33:15.540 Because I said I would.
00:33:17.780 That's why.
00:33:19.160 That's why.
00:33:20.300 That's what I'm going to go do.
00:33:21.500 Thank you guys.
00:33:22.100 Be good to yourselves, man.
00:33:23.680 Because I bet you deserve it, man.
00:33:25.120 I really, really do.
00:33:25.960 Y'all take care, man.
00:33:26.880 Let's hit this one more time on the way out.
00:33:29.140 This new call.
00:33:30.200 This new song from Jesse Lucero.
00:33:32.500 Your candle burns in an empty room. 1.00
00:33:34.420 Shit, that house, that trap shit, boy. 1.00
00:33:44.420 Ooh. 1.00
00:33:51.460 Hear that angry raccoon in the back, boy?
00:33:57.840 That warbler, boy. 1.00
00:34:00.180 They got fucking warblers loose in this bitch, son. 1.00
00:34:03.860 Gang, boy. 1.00
00:34:18.340 Uh-oh.
00:34:19.120 Freelance ocean wave right there, boy.
00:34:24.980 Your candle burns in an empty room. 1.00
00:34:30.660 Fuck no, I'm not singing that shit. 1.00
00:34:32.020 Y'all tripping, bro. 1.00
00:34:34.000 Man, happy Halloween.
00:34:35.100 Have a good Halloween weekend.
00:34:36.360 Take care of your loved ones.
00:34:38.260 But start by taking care of yourself, dude.
00:34:40.140 It starts right there inside of you, boy. 1.00
00:34:43.520 Fuck you. 1.00
00:34:44.080 Get them candy out in these streets, boy. 1.00
00:34:47.000 Diabetes, boy.
00:34:49.040 Diabetes while you sleeping, son.
00:34:51.880 Gang. 0.66
00:34:52.840 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing
00:34:58.100 thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
00:35:03.980 The answer may shock you.
00:35:05.700 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
00:35:07.780 Sometimes I won't.
00:35:09.280 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
00:35:12.140 You have three new voice messages.
00:35:15.460 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
00:35:18.300 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
00:35:20.980 Longer than anybody else.
00:35:22.600 So great.
00:35:23.960 Hi.
00:35:24.600 Swee-ah. 0.97
00:35:25.640 Easy deal. 1.00
00:35:26.920 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00
00:35:30.880 Jermaine. 0.99
00:35:31.480 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
00:35:35.980 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
00:35:38.060 Oh, no.
00:35:40.320 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
00:35:42.760 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
00:35:46.940 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
00:35:51.180 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube,
00:35:56.300 yeah?
00:35:56.960 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.