This Past Weekend with Theo Von - TJ MIller

00:00:00.520 Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.

00:00:03.960 If you were wondering if you can have something in your mouth that feels like it's from another country, you can.

00:00:09.860 Italy. And that is pizza.

00:00:12.420 Gray Block Pizza. 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach.

00:00:16.220 Gray Block. Get that header.

00:00:19.580 Today's guest is a film man and he's a comedian.

00:00:25.480 And honestly, I don't even really know him that well.

00:00:27.580 So I'm going to get to know him as you do.

00:00:30.560 But I do know that he is the star of the Emoji movie, T.J. Miller.

00:00:57.580 All right. That's your version of the Gold Champ.

00:01:01.300 Yeah, it is. You know, and I just, sometimes I like to have something. Sometimes I'll wear some glasses that don't have any lenses or just something.

00:01:06.880 I don't really like interviewing, so it makes me feel, or not interviewing, but sometimes I'm just not, it's not really my strongest suit.

00:01:14.900 Do you think?

00:01:15.420 Like, yeah.

00:01:16.320 Well, one of the things is you riff on your own and with the voicemails and stuff like that.

00:01:21.780 So, you know, it's, and it's, that's closer to stand up, right?

00:01:26.820 Than doing an interview.

00:01:28.180 And then I find that other people are almost more comfortable interviewing.

00:01:32.400 Like, that's one thing that I've thought is really interesting about, I mean, the joke with Mark Maron's podcast was always like, fast forward through his part and get to the interview because he's such a good interviewer.

00:01:41.780 Yeah.

00:01:42.160 And then Joe Rogan, I think, has slowly become more about the interview and being the interviewer than about it being comedic at all or anything like that.

00:01:52.120 Yeah, he's, yeah, he's not usually, he's not very comedic or with some guests he is and some guests he isn't.

00:01:56.580 Yeah.

00:01:56.680 But I think you do interviews really well, but that's interesting that you don't feel necessarily comfortable doing that because we were just talking about, I have this show called Gore Burger where it's a giant blue alien puppet that interviews people.

00:02:10.340 And that was on Comedy Central and there's a lot of it on YouTube.

00:02:13.820 And that I felt really good and I was interested in interviewing it and he did, Gore Burger did Snoop Dogg's GGN Network and it was just.

00:02:25.080 And it's a real burger.

00:02:26.420 It's a fake burger, but it's a.

00:02:27.800 No, it's like.

00:02:29.000 Oh, there it is.

00:02:29.960 Yeah, that's it.

00:02:30.820 Oh, wow.

00:02:31.520 Yeah.

00:02:31.920 And so it's a giant puppet and there's somebody else in the puppet.

00:02:35.760 Is it you?

00:02:36.880 But I'm, so I'm controlling his mouth using a radio controller and two other puppeteers are doing his eyes and sort of facial expressions.

00:02:45.500 And so it's a lot.

00:02:47.040 Oh, it's like Joe Biden, you mean?

00:02:49.140 It's got kind of the look, right?

00:02:51.300 A little.

00:02:52.060 He stumbles a little bit less, I think.

00:02:54.380 Well, that's incredible looking.

00:02:55.900 It's great.

00:02:56.440 And so I do it with these two guys, the director brothers.

00:02:59.540 And it's a, it feels a lot more comfortable for me, kind of what you're saying to interview somebody through the character.

00:03:06.100 Because he sort of talks like this and he doesn't really know anything about human beings.

00:03:11.320 And so he has kind of questions about what it's like to be a human.

00:03:14.380 So the questions can kind of come from that angle instead of necessarily being, you know, TJ Miller asking questions.

00:03:22.120 Yeah.

00:03:23.040 So yeah, I really, really like that.

00:03:24.700 And then my podcast, Cashing In With TJ Miller, is the conceit is that Cash Levy, who's a comedian and an improviser, a friend of mine that I tour with, he has an interview show, but he can never get another guest.

00:03:39.060 So I've been his only guest for like six years now.

00:03:42.740 Oh, really?

00:03:43.240 So it's just you interviewing him and he interviewing me every time?

00:03:45.800 No, he interviewing me, yeah, every single time.

00:03:47.360 But it's, it's more absurdist and it's kind of, you know, the interviews aren't about, you know, what's, what are you up to?

00:03:53.780 What's going on with you?

00:03:55.240 It's more stuff like, you know, we have a thing where it's like, if you attach a handle to anything, does it become a ladle?

00:04:02.960 Like if you put a handle on this, does it immediately become a ladle?

00:04:06.240 Like a mitten?

00:04:07.140 Right.

00:04:07.800 A mitten would be a ladle.

00:04:09.000 That's exactly right.

00:04:10.200 That would be a better, is that a better ladle than a glove?

00:04:14.120 Or can you use each of the fingers for the separate things that you want to ladle?

00:04:17.900 I think glove probably be better because a mitten is going to have too much liquid you could get out of a mitten.

00:04:23.480 Yeah.

00:04:23.800 I've tried to run water across the house in a mitten when I was young and it's, it's anti-climactic.

00:04:27.980 I'd love to know what the context of that is.

00:04:30.440 Just not having a cup.

00:04:31.720 Yeah.

00:04:32.060 So you just got to get that water one way or another.

00:04:34.160 And it's fast.

00:04:34.880 You know, kids, when you're being fast, you know, it doesn't matter.

00:04:38.120 Well, can you relate, you think, to that, Anna?

00:04:40.380 Like, do you feel like you sometimes, like, because I feel like you, to me, like, because we don't know each other that well.

00:04:45.840 Yeah, I know.

00:04:46.520 We kind of have crossed paths mostly through stand-up.

00:04:49.280 Yeah.

00:04:49.960 Yeah.

00:04:50.420 Do you feel like, and you always seem to me like, like, I always, sometimes with you, I always, because I always felt like there was like a fire alarm going off or something sometimes.

00:05:03.140 Like, I get, that's the same kind of feeling I get sometimes.

00:05:06.780 From me?

00:05:07.300 Yeah.

00:05:07.720 Not from you or that's around you.

00:05:09.460 I'll take that.

00:05:09.480 No, but I like that.

00:05:10.180 Like, somebody behind you or something pulled a fire alarm or maybe even you just pulled it on your own back.

00:05:15.060 Like, and it's just, like, there's like.

00:05:17.040 There is that energy.

00:05:17.920 I've never heard anything even close to that, but that's pretty right on.

00:05:21.480 And sometimes it's the energy of me coming in.

00:05:24.080 I live in New York now.

00:05:25.420 So, and in Manhattan, I do.

00:05:28.100 And it's a much better speed for me.

00:05:29.780 Because I'll zip around.

00:05:31.300 You live in Grinch Village, right?

00:05:31.780 Yeah, in Grinch Village.

00:05:33.460 And then I'll zip around to do three, four, five sets in a night.

00:05:38.620 And that is a better energy for me to just, like, run from the subway to the club, go right up, do the set, like, get paid, talk to the people, then leave, run to the subway, get on the subway, get out of the, go to a different.

00:05:50.620 That's kind of, I feel more comfortable in that energy.

00:05:53.420 And I think that was always a problem for me in Los Angeles was that I had that energy, but here it's a lot more laid back.

00:06:00.300 Not just that Cali attitude, but also, you know, you do one show in a night, maybe two shows.

00:06:06.280 And if you're going to do two, it's like a spot at the improv and you'll make your way up to Laugh Factory.

00:06:11.720 So, there's no rush.

00:06:12.620 There's no hurry.

00:06:13.500 There's no need for energy like that.

00:06:16.120 And then.

00:06:16.960 It's more hype than hustle.

00:06:18.380 It's more hype than hustle.

00:06:19.400 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:06:20.780 There's no hustle energy.

00:06:22.320 Yeah.

00:06:22.540 And so, the hustle energy, but that also works when you do film and television, especially television, because they are moving quickly.

00:06:29.420 They need every, you know, minute cost this amount of money.

00:06:33.260 And so, they appreciate that.

00:06:34.600 I'm like, all right, let's go.

00:06:35.540 Let's go.

00:06:36.000 And then I just riff, like, you know, five, six lines.

00:06:39.160 Okay, is that good?

00:06:39.880 Let's do it.

00:06:40.380 All right, let's get the cameras in a different position.

00:06:42.220 And you have moments of chilling and relaxing on a film set.

00:06:48.620 And sometimes people say it's a lot of waiting.

00:06:51.100 But as soon as the knock comes on the trailer door, you got to quickly get into it and go.

00:06:55.640 And they need you on set right away.

00:06:57.320 And you go in front of the camera.

00:06:58.220 And then, boom, you got to go.

00:06:59.680 But do you feel like, like, I feel like, and I get, I don't know, I hope I'm not being judgmental.

00:07:05.660 But I always feel like you're like, you remind me of, like, a character.

00:07:09.060 Like, you remind me of, like, a.

00:07:10.540 That feels a little judgmental.

00:07:12.160 Doesn't it?

00:07:12.940 No, no, no.

00:07:13.640 I think that's right.

00:07:14.440 Do you ever feel like that?

00:07:16.780 No, here's the sort of character is, like, I think it's funny.

00:07:21.000 Like, I feel like you're so talented, man.

00:07:23.240 I mean, any of the films I've seen you in, anytime I've ever seen you perform, I'm like, I don't know what is going on inside of this dude.

00:07:31.560 Like, this guy brought his own moons, you know?

00:07:33.940 Like, this guy's doing his own thing.

00:07:35.920 But there's, you know, I think my character would be, it's just, I'm equal parts eccentric and kind of ostentatious.

00:07:47.700 But all of that is because I think it's funny.

00:07:49.800 It's like, I don't really care how I look.

00:07:51.640 I'd rather dress in a way that makes me laugh and other people laugh.

00:07:55.200 That's kind of fun.

00:07:56.000 And then Kate, she sort of fits my wife.

00:07:58.820 Kate is like, you know, also thinks it's funny.

00:08:02.420 And she kind of likes that I dress like this just because it's just clearly I don't give a fuck.

00:08:08.940 You remind me of, like, kind of an Ignatius Riley.

00:08:11.020 Do you remember?

00:08:11.420 Can you bring that character up?

00:08:12.420 But more handsome.

00:08:15.140 He's, like, from Confederacy of Dantes.

00:08:16.840 Do you remember that?

00:08:17.820 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:18.400 It's like an old New Orleans story.

00:08:19.780 Do you ever feel, because you're the only person I know that kind of rocks a mullet, you know?

00:08:23.560 Yeah.

00:08:24.000 And so do you ever feel a little, within the context of your accent and your sort of whole vibe,

00:08:30.620 do you ever feel kind of like a character or no?

00:08:33.540 No, I feel like I felt like.

00:08:35.800 Or is that sort of true to who you are in your background?

00:08:38.460 I think in my heart it makes me feel good having longer hair.

00:08:41.560 Nice.

00:08:42.460 And I always had, like, a big nose when I was, like, I still have it.

00:08:46.480 I don't see that, but maybe it's there.

00:08:48.820 A lot of brothers and sisters will come over to see what's up when I'm wandering around.

00:08:52.560 So that's how I know.

00:08:53.860 Sometimes my bird will stop down here, you know, kind of look up at it.

00:08:56.680 Let us get close.

00:08:57.220 That's when you know.

00:08:59.240 But, so I think for me, having long, I would see pictures of myself with shorter hair and it would make me feel,

00:09:04.820 I don't know, longer hair, I feel like I can just hide a little bit, you know?

00:09:07.560 I just feel sometimes like I need a little bit more space from the world a little bit sometimes.

00:09:13.100 That's interesting because there are, I think those are two types of comedians.

00:09:17.180 There's sort of a comedian that really actually in real life doesn't want to be gregarious and outgoing and on

00:09:24.000 and all that kind of stuff and maybe even feels a little bit socially awkward.

00:09:29.020 And then it sounds like you take some pains to sort of say, okay, I need, you know, a little bit of space here, a little bit of that.

00:09:35.660 And I sort of, I do a lot of things.

00:09:38.840 I don't at all feel like I have to be on all the time, as you can tell right now.

00:09:42.140 But I do kind of, I do exude this, yeah, fire alarm or just like a truly nihilistic, don't give a fuck kind of thing.

00:09:52.020 But I'll change my appearance based on characters that I'm playing a lot.

00:09:58.400 The first time I had long hair was for a character that had just gotten out of jail.

00:10:03.780 And that for me, that's my fire alarm.

00:10:06.540 That's the fire alarm going off.

00:10:08.000 It needs new batteries.

00:10:09.240 And I had, I grew long hair for it and I kind of grew a beard.

00:10:15.220 And then I sort of, some people started to say, oh, that's in fact, Chelsea Handler was like, you look a lot better with longer hair because your head is so oblong, you know?

00:10:24.580 And I think that's true.

00:10:25.900 Yeah, you get that extended cab.

00:10:27.140 Yeah, then I'll kind of stick with it.

00:10:28.780 And then Kate just kind of likes this, Kate just kind of likes the, she likes a six and a half o'clock shadow.

00:10:36.620 So I usually kind of keep that going.

00:10:39.360 But yeah, I mean, I don't, I'm less concerned about my appearance.

00:10:42.740 Like I'll cut weight for a role or I, when I did Silicon Valley, I always gained weight for that character for Ehrlich.

00:10:50.300 But just being like, so like out, like you're out, you seem like outspoken, even like at your spirit kind of.

00:10:57.820 Like if that makes any sense, does it, is that, is it you, is it just you or do you feel like you like?

00:11:07.000 No, that's me.

00:11:07.820 Because it would seem exhausting to be able, like, you know, it's like a, it's like when you see a guy like have those plates on the thing, you know, on the spikes on those things that they usually cut meat off of or whatever.

00:11:18.020 Which I can do, by the way.

00:11:19.260 Can you really?

00:11:19.800 Yeah, I do a lot of circus art stuff actually in my act, right?

00:11:23.860 That's perfect.

00:11:24.480 That makes perfect sense.

00:11:25.440 But I can spin plates and I juggle cigar boxes and I'm a juggler.

00:11:30.080 And my act now is like this one man philosophy circus.

00:11:33.620 It's like I have a ventriloquist dummy with a smaller ventriloquist dummy with a smaller ventriloquist dummy that has a slightly larger ventriloquist dummy.

00:11:40.680 And the audience plays the slide trombone while I do one liners and there's juggling and glow in the dark juggling.

00:11:47.700 Right.

00:11:48.240 So you have, you need that much to be going on.

00:11:51.020 I think that's what's fun for me.

00:11:53.000 And I also love that show.

00:11:54.740 I love the idea of it being a real, like a show.

00:11:57.580 So I have, I have more P.T. Barnum in me than Mitch Hedberg.

00:12:02.320 Yeah.

00:12:02.580 Let me put it that way.

00:12:03.200 And so that for me is kind of, yeah, that's my speed.

00:12:07.080 I also was born with an arteriovenous malformation.

00:12:12.620 In your heart?

00:12:13.520 No, it's, it's a brain condition where there's a malformation in your brain.

00:12:17.320 In this case, it was in my frontal lobe.

00:12:19.020 And because the brain is so amazing, the elasticity of it allows it to sort of figure out how to act as a normal human being, but with less brain matter.

00:12:31.620 And what we found, cause I have like a team of doctors that sort of monitor me and have since 2010, because I have a, um, I had the AVM hemorrhaged and I had to go and get it removed.

00:12:43.640 So I have a golf ball size piece of my brain that they took out.

00:12:47.360 So right in my frontal lobe, there's like, you know, your brain is old.

00:12:50.620 And the front's important.

00:12:51.360 That's a, that's a.

00:12:52.160 And so what I think happened was I have less frontal lobe than other people.

00:12:57.000 So it has to work double time.

00:12:58.540 So I take a lot of medication both to prevent seizures.

00:13:01.780 And then one of the medications is to prevent seizures.

00:13:04.540 It has seizure preventative, um, like components to it, but it's also to control mania.

00:13:10.700 And I'm prone to manic episodes.

00:13:12.640 So I'm not bipolar.

00:13:13.860 I'm not like a, um, I get depressed and then I, but I am prone to manic episodes if I lapse in the, and those manic episodes are like,

00:13:22.000 your brain just is moving so quickly and you don't know you're in a manic episode and you think,

00:13:25.840 Oh, well, this must be this.

00:13:27.020 And it connects to this and this, this.

00:13:28.600 And so sometimes I think that that may have contributed a little bit in addition to how hard I worked in my work ethic.

00:13:36.700 That's a bad mix.

00:13:37.780 Yeah.

00:13:38.100 I mean, just not your work ethic, but when you have to work really hard and you have some mental uncomfort going on and it's getting heavy,

00:13:44.700 that mix is scary, isn't it?

00:13:45.920 Yeah.

00:13:46.260 And it can, it can also just be a lot of, it can just be a go, go, go mentality.

00:13:51.020 But I wonder, do I have that level of work ethic because I'm manic or does working that hard sort of egg on the mania?

00:14:01.240 Um, but I do really well, especially on the medication.

00:14:04.140 It's just that, um, you know, that manic energy, I think in some ways, uh,

00:14:10.360 Oh, I would, I'd take a dose right now.

00:14:11.820 If you had, you know what I'm saying?

00:14:12.440 There were times where I would take a dose of that if you had it.

00:14:14.300 Yeah.

00:14:14.720 To, um, right.

00:14:16.000 Cause you have so much going on.

00:14:17.520 Yeah.

00:14:17.700 I'd want a little manic energy.

00:14:19.040 Oh, see this.

00:14:19.900 So this is the opposite.

00:14:20.640 So the medication kind of pulls, pulls that.

00:14:23.200 Do you ever monitor the medicine just to see, okay, maybe I'll take, you know, do five less millis so I can do what I can do.

00:14:28.760 The only, no, no.

00:14:29.560 Cause I can do what I can do on the medication.

00:14:31.240 Okay.

00:14:31.540 It's that if I start to get manic, then I'll take it more of it.

00:14:35.200 I see.

00:14:35.520 So it's almost like a, and, um, I think for a long time and now I don't smoke weed.

00:14:41.400 It's pretty weird.

00:14:42.700 Um, now I, right now I'm not smoking weed and I also, and Nick, somebody's here.

00:14:47.000 And I was also, uh, hi.

00:14:52.540 Good.

00:14:53.020 We're doing a show.

00:14:54.020 What are they with?

00:14:54.540 That's okay.

00:14:54.940 What is it?

00:14:55.980 You're with the church?

00:14:56.780 Uh, no, uh, my name is Kevin.

00:14:58.720 Uh, this is Jason.

00:14:59.420 We're actually with mobile and we're, um, we're just here to, to let you know that we've recently

00:15:03.280 upgraded our network.

00:15:04.720 And, uh, I'm just here to tell you I'm, I'm Verizon and I, not only do I have Verizon, I

00:15:09.640 work for them.

00:15:10.640 So I'm going to ask you guys to leave immediately.

00:15:13.840 Thank you.

00:15:14.440 Big fan of your, you guys, but not your network.

00:15:16.680 Yeah.

00:15:17.300 Okay.

00:15:17.980 We have the largest 5g network.

00:15:20.360 Thank you.

00:15:21.860 Hey guys.

00:15:23.140 That's all right.

00:15:24.200 Hi Taylor.

00:15:24.880 That's the T and T mobile.

00:15:27.000 Let's get your tails out of here.

00:15:29.940 You're so nice.

00:15:30.940 I love too.

00:15:31.520 When you were like, y'all from the church, that there wasn't energy at first guy was throwing

00:15:35.200 church energy.

00:15:36.040 Yeah.

00:15:36.380 He did have church energy.

00:15:38.080 And then he had the little backup guy who was, I'm in recovery.

00:15:41.020 And I like how he, yeah, can I, am I part of it now?

00:15:46.320 The original guy did.

00:15:47.620 He was wearing exactly what you would wear if you were like, so are you, are you familiar

00:15:52.120 with Jesus Christ and the latter day saints?

00:15:55.020 Or you just know about Jesus.

00:15:56.440 Yeah.

00:15:56.620 We want to talk to you about all the latter day saints.

00:15:58.980 We're talking about the latter day saints.

00:16:00.180 I'm talking Bobby a bear, Pat Swilling.

00:16:02.240 I mean, we want to talk about all the greats, man.

00:16:04.400 Drew Brees.

00:16:05.340 Yeah.

00:16:06.000 The greats.

00:16:07.240 They used to, bro.

00:16:08.260 One time, uh, Jehovah's witness came over when I was in Tucson and I had like no friends,

00:16:12.600 man.

00:16:12.800 Did you grow up religious?

00:16:14.360 I grew up going to church sometimes.

00:16:16.180 Okay.

00:16:16.580 So, but there was a lot of like just religion in the area, you know, a lot of people, because

00:16:20.840 when you have, that is that area, right?

00:16:22.500 Yeah.

00:16:22.680 And when you have smaller environments, people don't have as many places to go get together.

00:16:26.840 So it's like a lot of times church is a place also where you just get to see other people.

00:16:31.720 It's community more than it's about the God of it, right?

00:16:34.640 Yeah.

00:16:34.860 A lot of times you'll go and you take your kids because they get to play with other kids.

00:16:38.640 Right.

00:16:38.960 Um, but yeah, this man, when I lived in Tucson, I was really struggling in college.

00:16:43.920 And, uh, this man, you didn't have a lot of friends.

00:16:46.580 Yeah.

00:16:46.940 I was just like real depressed and I just didn't have a lot of friends in this, uh, Jehovah's

00:16:50.080 witness would come over and then I had video games out and then he was definitely slacking

00:16:53.920 for the Lord because he would come over for the Lord was also the name of his autobiography.

00:17:00.360 Slacking for the Lord.

00:17:01.620 Oh, he would come over and just play video games.

00:17:04.820 That's so good.

00:17:05.640 So it was almost like, you're like, I get a friend, uh, out of God and he's like, and

00:17:10.400 I get to play video games.

00:17:11.760 Yeah.

00:17:12.160 That's a good, it's a symbiotic relationship.

00:17:14.520 So that's interesting to me that you, you know, you seem a little bit and tell me if,

00:17:20.600 if, if this is not the case.

00:17:22.140 No, it's okay.

00:17:22.520 I already gave that to you once.

00:17:23.660 Yeah, right.

00:17:24.020 Exactly.

00:17:24.800 No, but I think this is actually an interesting thing that we like know each other, but don't

00:17:28.440 know that much about each other.

00:17:29.940 Yeah.

00:17:30.180 So, um, I, I just would never have taken you as a guy that had any kind of depression,

00:17:38.340 any sort of feelings of like, I could use a little bit more manic energy, any kind of

00:17:43.660 with longer hair, glasses or scarf.

00:17:46.020 I give myself a little space from there.

00:17:47.880 Like to me, you felt like kind of a crazy good time guy who was, you know, down to party

00:17:53.820 whenever, but that wasn't, that wasn't your identity.

00:17:57.720 It's just like you were sort of comfortable in any situation, whatever.

00:18:00.880 And that's sort of how I see you when you're on stage is you have this energy of that with

00:18:06.580 the audience.

00:18:07.480 Yeah.

00:18:07.680 So that's really interesting because I would say that I'm as quick to get, I feel as

00:18:13.200 comfortable with people on stage as I do off stage.

00:18:17.400 I feel pretty comfortable being out and about Kate.

00:18:21.260 A lot of times is like TJ, you have to stop burping in public, right?

00:18:24.940 Like you just burped like 10, 20 times and you're just passing by people.

00:18:29.220 And I'm, I'm very loud.

00:18:31.020 So a lot of times she's like, I've heard that.

00:18:32.560 Yeah.

00:18:33.580 I'm not joking.

00:18:34.260 I was talking to one of my friends on the way over here and he's like, Oh, I see that

00:18:37.080 guy in our neighborhood.

00:18:37.660 Sometimes he's always really loud on his phone.

00:18:39.360 Is that real?

00:18:40.080 And he was starting an ice cream parlor.

00:18:41.540 That's what my buddy said.

00:18:42.460 Where was it in New York?

00:18:43.940 In New York.

00:18:44.480 Yeah.

00:18:44.740 Really?

00:18:45.180 And I said, I don't know.

00:18:46.040 I said, I just, you know, I said, I don't know the ice cream parlor.

00:18:48.980 Cause I want to go and support if he opens it up.

00:18:50.980 No, he said you were starting one.

00:18:52.440 It sounded like, but he also could have been eavesdropping from somewhere.

00:18:55.740 I have never intended on starting an ice cream parlor, but I definitely would have said something

00:19:01.460 like that.

00:19:02.240 Um, yeah, I think that's the problem is I don't, I'm, I'm not as aware of my surroundings.

00:19:09.400 I'm just aware of like, what is the mission statement?

00:19:11.940 What are we trying to do?

00:19:12.840 Or how are we having fun?

00:19:14.260 So it's not really a, so you, so it's not like a thing you're putting on.

00:19:17.660 It's just, that's who you are.

00:19:18.920 No.

00:19:19.220 And if anything, it's even something that's even more like in your system.

00:19:24.380 If you have, I mean, that's wild, bro.

00:19:25.880 If they took out part of your lobe, I can't even imagine that.

00:19:28.380 It's pretty crazy.

00:19:29.340 And I never even noticed anything about it or thought anything of it until it becomes

00:19:33.740 sort of like a medical emergency because that I did a bit about it on, um, this is not happening,

00:19:39.800 but that, um, surgery, they came in and they go, so this is a pretty serious like surgery.

00:19:46.380 And I was like, yeah, I assume you're opening up my fucking head.

00:19:50.020 And, uh, and they sort of were like, uh, so about it's a 10% fatality rate.

00:19:57.880 So about one in 10 people who get this surgery done die.

00:20:01.280 And I was like, okay, what happens if I don't get the surgery?

00:20:05.140 Cause it was elective.

00:20:06.040 He said, you don't have to get it.

00:20:07.260 So this is one out of 10 people die.

00:20:10.460 Um, or you don't, you don't have to get it.

00:20:12.760 And I said, well, what happens if you don't get it?

00:20:15.240 And he was like, Hmm, you'll probably die in your mid thirties.

00:20:18.420 And I was like, let's roll the dice and get the surgery done.

00:20:21.880 Right.

00:20:22.220 One out of 10 ain't bad.

00:20:23.460 My opinion.

00:20:24.200 You know, that's some Dungeons and Dragons shit right there.

00:20:30.020 That's the 10 sided die.

00:20:31.540 I'll take it.

00:20:32.840 And so, um, you know, I, I take away any of your hit points.

00:20:37.180 You think after you got it, like, is there times where you can feel an idea kind of going

00:20:40.800 in and then there's just like, Oh, so that's a great point.

00:20:43.240 So what I said was, I said, um, you know, I said, so the, um, uh, the, the main thing I

00:20:50.020 want to ask you is why I still be funny after the operation.

00:20:52.920 And the guy was like, what?

00:20:54.780 And I said, like, if I get the operation, will I still be funny?

00:20:57.820 Cause that's my work.

00:20:58.860 I'm a comedian.

00:20:59.440 And he goes, I mean, does it, he almost like, does it matter?

00:21:03.840 Don't you want to like live and not have a brain hemorrhage?

00:21:07.280 And he said, I mean, I assume so.

00:21:10.180 I don't, you know, you're not using that part of your brain now.

00:21:13.340 It was malformed in the womb.

00:21:15.080 So when we remove it, we're not removing any of your like cognitive efficiencies.

00:21:20.780 You're not cognitively deficient right now.

00:21:22.860 So we wouldn't see why taking out a part of your brain that you don't use would.

00:21:26.420 So cause I think so.

00:21:27.420 I said, cause if it's not going to make me funny, kind of almost rather do the maybe die

00:21:33.960 in your mid thirties thing.

00:21:35.160 And that floored the whole room.

00:21:37.180 All of the doctors were like, that doesn't seem like something we'd ever really heard.

00:21:42.160 Yeah, it doesn't check out.

00:21:43.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:21:43.640 Cause you'd get, no, is that true when you said that though?

00:21:46.400 Did you really, of course, of course.

00:21:47.740 But I also have a very, um, interesting relationship with death, both like philosophically and following

00:21:55.440 some philosophers, specifically Epicurus, which he has this great quote, which is like, um,

00:22:00.940 cause people would have always come to him who were afraid of death, which was mostly actually

00:22:05.760 in Greece, noblemen and people of great wealth, because they kind of knew that all the church

00:22:11.400 like stuff was bullshit.

00:22:12.920 But yeah, that's a totally, I mean, that's, you know, it's like Zeus and all that era of

00:22:17.420 stuff, but they would be scared about it.

00:22:20.400 And so they would say, you know, I'm afraid of death.

00:22:23.280 And he would say, why had stuff too?

00:22:26.140 Yeah.

00:22:26.500 You don't want to die if you have stuff.

00:22:27.740 Right.

00:22:27.840 Exactly.

00:22:28.200 If you don't have anything, you're like, let's check out a little early.

00:22:31.200 Yeah.

00:22:31.360 Let's see what's going on here.

00:22:32.560 Yeah.

00:22:32.780 Let's see what the next step is.

00:22:34.660 Um, that's hilarious.

00:22:36.320 Maybe I'll get a car in heaven, you know, taking the fucking bus here on earth.

00:22:40.820 And so, um, he says that, uh, when you are death is not, and when death is, you are not.

00:22:50.180 So you really never cross paths with death.

00:22:53.000 So why would you even worry about it or fear it?

00:22:55.540 Cause you'll never encounter it.

00:22:57.080 And so I, I was studying that stuff like on my own in, uh, high school and then kind

00:23:04.420 of became an absurdist and sort of a nihilist as I entered college.

00:23:08.740 And I, yeah, right.

00:23:09.500 You can feel it.

00:23:10.500 I can feel that.

00:23:11.360 Yeah.

00:23:11.540 Oh yeah.

00:23:12.480 If other people are picking for the basketball team in PE and you're like, you know, uh,

00:23:16.320 you and death never really meet each other.

00:23:18.240 You just kind of cross paths.

00:23:19.240 Yeah.

00:23:19.460 Right.

00:23:19.880 Exactly.

00:23:20.400 I wouldn't quite that, but I'm a guy that did.

00:23:22.720 So I did the emoji movie in part because I like to entertain children and I want those

00:23:27.700 movies to be funny, um, so that the parents don't want to like beat themselves over the

00:23:32.940 head with a sledgehammer.

00:23:34.000 Cause they have to watch those movies all the time.

00:23:35.560 If a kid likes a movie, they're watching it over and over and over.

00:23:38.060 Oh yeah.

00:23:38.360 But I also do, excuse me.

00:23:39.860 I did that movie, um, Yogi Bear 3d and I did Transformers and I did the emoji movie because

00:23:48.040 I want a funny credit for my standup.

00:23:51.020 Um, so now when I get introduced, now you don't introduce me as like TJ Miller from

00:23:56.000 Deadpool or Silicon Valley, it's the, you know, young kids sometimes will come up to

00:24:00.660 me and they'll be like, um, so, um, so how do you want me to introduce you?

00:24:04.580 And you can tell they kind of are like, I want to get this right.

00:24:06.720 So let me just be, you know, get really clear.

00:24:08.380 Cause they're expecting me to say like, well, I'll just put, do this and this and this,

00:24:12.400 whatever that, whatever people do there.

00:24:15.040 And, and I'll be like, um, just the star of the emoji movie.

00:24:19.360 And they're like, but what do you, what do you want me to introduce?

00:24:24.480 Is that what you want me to introduce?

00:24:26.000 Yes.

00:24:26.240 And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

00:24:27.120 And then kind of fuck with him.

00:24:28.560 I'll go, but I mean, really hit star, like the star of the emoji movie.

00:24:34.340 Okay.

00:24:34.820 And it's good to emphasize emoji also.

00:24:37.200 Cause that's what the movie's about.

00:24:38.780 And you can hit, you can hit movie also.

00:24:41.100 Cause it is a movie.

00:24:42.060 So just, but really hit star.

00:24:44.440 So the star of the emoji movie, this guy's losing his mind.

00:24:49.160 He's just like, is he serious?

00:24:50.860 Is he kidding?

00:24:51.540 Is whatever.

00:24:52.140 But I always finish, I always follow that up with like, I honestly don't give a shit

00:24:55.440 clearly.

00:24:55.760 Cause I'm telling you the emoji movie.

00:24:57.460 And so that's kind of how I approach life is like, I'll do entire films sort of for the

00:25:04.140 service of the joke of the standup credit being that thing.

00:25:08.100 So that's kind of my approach to life in general is I really don't take it seriously.

00:25:11.540 And people say, don't take life seriously.

00:25:13.440 It's like, no, I really do not take any of it seriously.

00:25:16.640 It's truly, I'm an absurdist and it's really, really fun.

00:25:20.920 But so within the context of what you asked about the, um, the doctors and is that true

00:25:27.540 that you, I really was sort of saying if I can be who I am and continue to make people

00:25:33.620 laugh, cause that's what's important to me not to be famous, not to have people like

00:25:37.420 me or laugh at like laugh at the things that I say, but it's to make people happy.

00:25:42.060 If I only have, uh, I forget how old I was then, but it was like, if I only have a decade

00:25:47.720 or so left to keep doing what I'm doing now and I'm feel so blessed to be doing.

00:25:53.180 And I would only say blessed on your podcast cause it feels appropriate.

00:25:56.280 I appreciate that.

00:25:57.060 I'll bring the guys right back in.

00:25:58.780 Yeah.

00:25:59.340 Come back in.

00:26:00.200 We're feeling blessed in here.

00:26:01.280 Blessed enough to try out T-Mobile's national network.

00:26:04.080 Hey, Verizon is the only network that streams straight to the Lord.

00:26:07.620 Yeah, that's right.

00:26:09.640 I'm sorry.

00:26:10.160 We start pitching to them.

00:26:12.140 We're like, you get unlimited data and unlimited wishes about what your heaven will be like.

00:26:16.580 We should have, man.

00:26:17.820 God.

00:26:18.640 So I sort of, um, I, I seriously am.

00:26:22.680 I was like, I'm so blessed.

00:26:24.620 Unlimited wishes, but you have a data and wishes.

00:26:28.560 Also, you don't get wishes in heaven.

00:26:30.120 That's a genie.

00:26:30.820 I don't know where the fuck that came from.

00:26:32.580 Dude, it could be your heaven though.

00:26:33.860 It could happen if you want it.

00:26:34.800 Yeah, it could be the wishes.

00:26:36.000 Uh, you can get to the wish in heaven, the unlimited data and wish in heaven.

00:26:39.340 Uh, so I, uh, but I, um, yeah, I think I was very, very serious, deadly serious.

00:26:46.420 In fact, that I would rather continue to make people happy and do what I feel so lucky to

00:26:53.040 be doing, um, then kind of no longer be funny and just live longer.

00:26:57.920 I just, I've never understood why that is the goal to just live as long as you can.

00:27:03.040 It's not some race.

00:27:04.640 It's not the competition or anything like that.

00:27:06.940 So you should really want to live, you know, 20, 20, 20 years more with purpose, with sort

00:27:14.360 of reward, with feeling in and of yourself, with kind of self-efficacy and those things

00:27:20.360 rather than just go like 50 years to then retire and go on cruise ships.

00:27:25.340 Now, if that's living purposefully, I talk about this in my act a little bit.

00:27:29.680 If living purposefully is understanding.

00:27:31.380 Because it can change from person to person.

00:27:33.100 If, you know, I look at somebody who works at State Farm and I don't think like, oh geez,

00:27:38.180 nine to five, two weeks of vacation and then you retire and go on carnival cruises.

00:27:43.100 And it's like, no, if that person is smart, what they'll do is say, I work in a industry

00:27:50.860 where I help people feel safer, where when the inevitable happens, it doesn't cripple

00:27:55.740 them financially.

00:27:57.200 I have a consistent job so I can consistently provide for my family and see my wife.

00:28:02.060 Right.

00:28:02.240 Adding purpose to their life.

00:28:03.440 Yeah.

00:28:03.680 And, and be able to, to, to be present for my relationship.

00:28:07.820 And then all I want to do is go on carnival cruise lines and see the world.

00:28:11.160 There's nothing better.

00:28:11.860 It's unlimited seafood.

00:28:13.560 Yeah.

00:28:14.020 And as many scallops and pineapple.

00:28:16.480 And I usually do a scallop pineapple sort of mix.

00:28:19.240 Yeah.

00:28:19.600 Take two rings of pineapple, put the scallops in between and that's my scallop pineapple

00:28:23.380 sandwich.

00:28:24.680 But I think, so I don't, I think everybody can sort of live with purpose and live well.

00:28:30.020 And people sometimes look at me and they go, oh wow.

00:28:33.160 You know what I mean?

00:28:33.960 You just, you couldn't have a better situation than, than TJ.

00:28:38.940 And it's, it's like, you know, Kate and I have a really, I, I, Kate and I have so much

00:28:45.320 fun that I went before the podcast to part of a movie with her.

00:28:50.020 Wow.

00:28:50.160 So she wanted to see this movie and I just wanted to go so we could like see 20 minutes

00:28:54.860 of it together.

00:28:55.560 And I was like, I'm going to take off so I'm not late to the podcast because we got to

00:28:58.820 leave later too.

00:28:59.500 Cause she's going to Dallas with me, but that's very rare.

00:29:02.000 She doesn't go.

00:29:02.800 So I only see Kate three days a week.

00:29:05.460 So because like you, I'm on the road every weekend.

00:29:08.420 Do you tour every weekend?

00:29:09.280 You're touring a lot.

00:29:10.080 Yeah.

00:29:10.220 Yeah.

00:29:10.360 And I see you crisscrossing.

00:29:11.780 Yeah.

00:29:12.060 Same.

00:29:12.700 Quick question to get back.

00:29:13.780 I just want to, so do you find though that sometimes like it, does it ever affect like

00:29:18.360 your, because you, the way you are is very unique.

00:29:22.280 You agree with that?

00:29:23.680 Yeah, I would say so.

00:29:24.460 But the way you are is very unique.

00:29:26.000 Well, thank you.

00:29:26.740 I appreciate that, man.

00:29:27.780 And, um, no, that's true.

00:29:28.800 It's not, it's not like a compliment because you gave me a compliment.

00:29:31.400 Yeah.

00:29:31.600 It's just like, I think the best standups really, I mean, we all talk about having our

00:29:36.240 own unique voice, but the best standups have sort of slowly, not even whittled down,

00:29:42.100 but molded and shaped what it is that makes them wholly unique into a funny version of

00:29:48.200 that that they can share with an audience on stage.

00:29:50.680 Well, I never wanted, I remember when I was always like, I don't want, I don't care if

00:29:53.860 they remember a joke.

00:29:54.500 I just want them to remember me.

00:29:55.840 That's what I want.

00:29:56.400 That's so smart.

00:29:56.900 I mean, that's what Woody Allen said.

00:29:57.780 I just want it to be remembered.

00:29:59.500 And he was like.

00:30:00.500 Or not even remember.

00:30:01.940 I just wanted to be.

00:30:02.580 Yeah.

00:30:02.900 What'd he say going?

00:30:03.600 Well, I think this is interesting.

00:30:04.820 And tell me if you agree that people don't go to see the material, they go to see you.

00:30:08.520 Yeah.

00:30:08.780 And so you can have the best material in the world.

00:30:11.120 You can Mitch Hedberg has some of the greatest one-liners, Stephen Wright, but the way that

00:30:15.880 they were, that's what you're really remembering.

00:30:18.360 You can quote jokes, but you wouldn't be able to quote jokes if that was just a not memorable

00:30:22.900 person.

00:30:23.360 And then some people figure that out and maybe they're not super hilarious, but they decide,

00:30:30.280 I'm going to stop being me and be Larry, the cable guy.

00:30:34.160 Right.

00:30:34.600 And now I own a jet and live on a thousand acres.

00:30:37.900 A jet that you can grill on top of too.

00:30:39.580 Yeah.

00:30:39.740 Oh my God.

00:30:40.600 Definitely.

00:30:41.040 And so it is.

00:30:44.540 I think it's that.

00:30:45.200 It's not your material.

00:30:46.200 It's you.

00:30:47.420 And a big part of, I think, why I'm successful in film and television is I sort of seem like,

00:30:54.940 and I really have this energy in real life, like you and I would be friends.

00:30:59.420 That's to everybody watching.

00:31:01.920 They're like, oh, he's really funny.

00:31:03.580 But they're like, I bet I'd get along with that guy, you know?

00:31:07.540 And that has more to do with me.

00:31:11.200 And I do this all the time.

00:31:13.480 I don't, I wouldn't say I talk to strangers all the time, but I'm always joking with people

00:31:17.300 not to get laughs, but because I want to add to their day.

00:31:21.080 So like.

00:31:21.580 Right.

00:31:22.100 I see what you're saying.

00:31:22.920 Yeah.

00:31:23.100 And I'm sure you do the same.

00:31:24.640 Yeah.

00:31:24.900 Sometimes.

00:31:25.520 Yeah.

00:31:25.680 I'll definitely check in with people as much as I can when I'm just wandering around in

00:31:28.540 person just to get a, yeah, tell somebody something nice, make somebody smile, that kind

00:31:34.080 of stuff.

00:31:34.280 Yeah.

00:31:34.420 I love giving, I love giving compliments, especially to girls.

00:31:37.600 Yeah.

00:31:37.840 And I do it a lot when I'm with Kate so that they immediately know like, oh, he's not being

00:31:42.940 creepy.

00:31:43.460 Right.

00:31:43.720 Because I don't do it in a creepy way, but sometimes if you're like.

00:31:46.160 Yeah.

00:31:46.300 It's not like you send a raven over to fucking drop a note into the ladies.

00:31:49.200 Yeah.

00:31:49.560 It's almost always a crow.

00:31:50.680 And so, you know, I think that one of the things that I do like doing is kind of joking with

00:31:55.480 people, or I love to ask people questions that they aren't usually asked.

00:32:01.220 So I, I sort of very interested in people in the component of, you know, I, I'll say

00:32:06.860 to, if I go and see a movie, I'll say, what have you seen that you like?

00:32:09.480 And it's this, and then I'll ask them how is impractical jokers doing?

00:32:14.120 And then he'll say, you know what?

00:32:15.900 It's not doing as well, to be honest with you.

00:32:18.220 And I was like, do you think that's cause this is the arc light or do you think that

00:32:21.340 that might be happening across the board?

00:32:23.020 And he's like, I don't know.

00:32:23.680 I mean, I guess the arc light maybe wouldn't be the demographic, but you know what?

00:32:27.360 We get this, this, and this, and those all did really well.

00:32:29.840 Like, do you think it's cause you see it for free?

00:32:32.740 Like it's on TV and it's on TV a lot.

00:32:34.960 And he, and he was like, yeah, that's a really good point.

00:32:37.560 It's kind of free.

00:32:38.200 And then now you're asking them to pay for it.

00:32:40.100 And I say, do you think that they kind of basically taught people, we do this for you

00:32:44.620 for free.

00:32:45.240 You can just turn us on whenever.

00:32:47.040 And now they're saying like, you got to leave your house, get in your car, go to the, and you're

00:32:51.820 going to want popcorn and all this stuff.

00:32:53.060 And he goes, yeah, I do.

00:32:54.700 I think that's the case.

00:32:55.480 And then he goes from being, who is he?

00:32:58.440 He's the tech, the guy taking the tickets, selling tickets.

00:33:00.760 So then he goes from a ticket taker and the guy working behind the computer to now somebody

00:33:05.960 who said thinking about the world that they're working in.

00:33:08.260 And also just gave me an analysis that only he can really give.

00:33:13.460 And I could see him be like, yeah, I think that's exactly right.

00:33:18.120 And I'm like, I think you're right.

00:33:19.540 And then there's this great moment where he's just like, badass, dude.

00:33:22.720 I do.

00:33:23.240 Yeah.

00:33:23.480 I connected the dots for this guy who's dressed like a fucking lunatic.

00:33:27.360 Yeah.

00:33:27.580 And I think is from the, I think he's the star of the Emoji movie.

00:33:33.580 And, um, and the, the star, that's right.

00:33:36.540 You're right.

00:33:36.900 I got to start telling him to hit the dude.

00:33:38.820 Yeah.

00:33:39.100 You got to, you got to hit each of them at different levels.

00:33:41.220 I'm going to start, I'm going to draw out a chart that's like, we want the sort of really

00:33:45.660 high star has got to be a little bit higher emoji here.

00:33:49.260 Cause we want them to know what the movie's about, but movie doesn't, it can kind of be

00:33:53.100 here cause they know it's a movie.

00:33:54.580 It's good to remind them.

00:33:56.220 So the star, and then actually of can be down here.

00:34:01.280 Let's put up here.

00:34:02.160 Yeah.

00:34:02.260 Let's go bear.

00:34:02.700 The star, uh, the actually do this as a half the, the emoji.

00:34:11.220 Movie.

00:34:11.840 Yeah.

00:34:12.080 Let's get that going.

00:34:13.200 I'll play.

00:34:13.780 I play an audio recording for him that I did.

00:34:15.920 And I'm just like, let me text this to you, my work phone.

00:34:18.800 So you have it.

00:34:19.620 And you can think about it before you go on stage.

00:34:21.440 This is bad news.

00:34:22.320 This podcast is going to ruin many an opener's life throughout the next decade.

00:34:27.020 Um, do you think though, do you think it's so with your energy, the way that you are,

00:34:31.000 it's a unique way.

00:34:31.760 Do you think that it doesn't fit sometimes like in the template of things?

00:34:35.520 Yeah.

00:34:35.900 But I try and adjust.

00:34:36.680 Cause the last thing I want is for people to be uncomfortable because again, I'm not really focused

00:34:40.720 on me as much.

00:34:41.800 If anything, I'm focused too much on other people.

00:34:44.840 I hate to let people down.

00:34:46.800 Kate said last night I had to cancel, um, a show and I hate canceling shows.

00:34:52.120 And she said, you have to be able to cancel the show.

00:34:55.460 You're double booked.

00:34:56.740 You're, you're not going to be able to do it.

00:34:58.300 I need you in this situation.

00:35:00.000 And so then I canceled and the, the booker, Jay Davis, who's awesome.

00:35:05.140 And as always, he's one of those guys that believes in me, texts me every month or so

00:35:09.580 to be like, Hey, I know you're in New York, but let me know when you're in Los Angeles.

00:35:12.040 He's a nice guy.

00:35:12.860 Just a really good dude and cares a lot about comedy.

00:35:15.800 So I felt bad, but he was totally cool.

00:35:17.980 He was like, no problem.

00:35:18.840 Let me know when you get back.

00:35:19.600 So Kate has to sometimes remind me, like, it's okay to let people down, um, when you

00:35:25.200 need to sort of put yourself first.

00:35:27.120 So she'll actually say, if she sounds like a real great yourself first, a little bit

00:35:30.900 more TJ, you know, I appreciate that you're doing what you're doing, but you got to think

00:35:34.880 about putting yourself first.

00:35:36.020 Cause otherwise your family's pulling you in one direction.

00:35:38.420 Your friends are pulling in one direction.

00:35:39.700 The bookers are pulling in another direction.

00:35:41.100 Your agents are pulling in another direction.

00:35:42.580 Sometimes it's got to be about me and you.

00:35:44.980 Sometimes it's just got to be about you.

00:35:46.620 Yeah.

00:35:47.440 Hey there.

00:35:48.180 This is a good episode.

00:35:49.960 I'm enjoying it.

00:35:51.560 Uh, I have to let you know though, that inside of my pants, there's something unique and I'm

00:35:57.240 talking about Mack Weldon and that's not a man.

00:36:00.220 It is a man's name, but probably the closest a man will ever get to my jump.

00:36:04.140 It is a premiums men's essential brand that believes in smart design and premium fabrics.

00:36:11.460 Mack Weldon does indeed offer industry leading underwear.

00:36:16.100 They are the Tony Stewart of underwear, these things.

00:36:19.580 And they're so just, they grip you.

00:36:21.520 They hold you.

00:36:22.520 Were you going to work?

00:36:23.980 What do you got to do?

00:36:24.780 You got to babysit?

00:36:26.260 What do you got to do?

00:36:27.380 Huh?

00:36:28.020 You got to dig in the sand and look for something.

00:36:30.100 Somebody lost something.

00:36:31.820 You could do it.

00:36:33.320 You got to borrow a shovel or something from a neighbor.

00:36:35.840 Put these on before you go over there.

00:36:38.460 Be a man.

00:36:39.160 They are the one-stop shop for men's basics of all kinds.

00:36:44.680 Mack Weldon will be the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies,

00:36:50.440 and sweatpants, and more that you will ever wear.

00:36:53.500 Now I haven't experienced the other, their accoutremental pieces, but they have a line

00:36:58.380 of silver underwear that are naturally anti-micriobial.

00:37:05.060 That means they eliminate odor.

00:37:06.820 So if you stink, voila, now you don't.

00:37:10.240 Mack Weldon really does value its loyal customers.

00:37:12.820 That's why they've created the Weldon Blue Loyalty Program.

00:37:16.620 Simply create an account.

00:37:18.360 It's totally free.

00:37:19.640 Place an order and never pay shipping again.

00:37:22.380 Again, once you purchase $200 worth of products from Mack Weldon, not only will you continue

00:37:27.680 to receive free shipping, but you will also start saving 20% on every order you make for

00:37:33.000 the next year.

00:37:34.600 This also grants you access to new products before they're released to anyone else.

00:37:39.600 I love my Mack Weldon.

00:37:41.140 I have them on right now.

00:37:42.720 My junk feels secure.

00:37:44.140 I feel like I could do HVAC work.

00:37:46.980 But I have to let you know, for 20% off your first order, visit Mack Weldon, M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com

00:37:55.660 and enter promo code THEO.

00:37:57.920 If you are a man and you have genitals and butt, take care of them.

00:38:03.640 And these will be the greatest supplement you add to your crotch and rear.

00:38:09.040 I'm not joking.

00:38:10.480 MackWeldon.com, enter promo code THEO.

00:38:14.460 And now back to the episode.

00:38:16.980 I hate to interrupt you, but I need to, because I'm not sure if you got any skills or not.

00:38:24.340 You know, a lot of times I wonder, who's listening?

00:38:26.840 What are they doing?

00:38:27.960 Can they do a recipe?

00:38:30.060 Can they build a fire?

00:38:32.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:38:32.900 Could they make a Kool-Aid?

00:38:34.100 Could they draw an art?

00:38:36.200 And I don't know.

00:38:37.700 That's why Skillshare is bringing you this episode.

00:38:42.620 Skillshare is an online learning community for creators.

00:38:45.460 With more than 25,000 classes in design, business, and more, you'll discover countless ways to fuel your career, your creativity, and your curiosity.

00:38:56.420 There are classes in social media marketing, mobile photography, creative writing, and even illustration.

00:39:03.480 Whether you're looking to discover a new passion or start a little side hustle, do this.

00:39:08.220 You know what I'm saying?

00:39:08.860 Make a little something over there.

00:39:10.020 Do that.

00:39:10.680 Sell that.

00:39:11.260 Get that.

00:39:12.720 Or gain professional skills.

00:39:14.920 Skillshare is there to keep you learning, thriving, and reaching new goals.

00:39:18.680 Are you a freelancer?

00:39:20.860 Try bookkeeping for freelancers.

00:39:23.280 How to handle your finances.

00:39:25.200 One of their most popular courses.

00:39:27.700 Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today.

00:39:31.360 Our listeners get two months of Skillshare for free.

00:39:34.900 That's right.

00:39:35.680 Skillshare is offering this past weekend listeners two months of unlimited access to over 25,000 classes for free.

00:39:43.220 To sign up, go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn.

00:39:46.920 Again, go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn to start your two months now.

00:39:51.440 That's Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn.

00:39:56.140 And do you, I feel like, so right now, are you going through like a rebuilding phase in your work?

00:40:00.520 I feel like, because you're getting back out on the road.

00:40:02.620 Yeah.

00:40:02.960 I mean, now I am wholly focused on stand-up because.

00:40:06.940 Just because I started to see like different.

00:40:08.400 I was like, oh, wow.

00:40:09.120 Yeah.

00:40:09.320 I mean, I'm doing like 50 weeks out of the year and I take time off when it makes sense to be with Kate or really good news that I got yesterday.

00:40:17.840 The film that I did with Drew Barrymore got into the Tribeca Film Festival.

00:40:21.960 That's in New York City.

00:40:23.460 I only have to walk 15 minutes to get there.

00:40:26.260 That's awesome.

00:40:26.680 And that's great because I'm going to take those two weeks, sort of the weekends on either, like move those and then take those two weeks.

00:40:34.800 And it's, they're the perfect clubs because it's Helium in Philadelphia and then Omaha, which do you work though?

00:40:43.080 I'm a funny one with Colleen Quinn.

00:40:44.760 Colleen Quinn, she's so sweet and she officiated our wedding.

00:40:48.800 Did you really?

00:40:49.420 She married Kate and me and here's the strangest part.

00:40:52.320 The redhead, right?

00:40:52.760 Yeah.

00:40:53.100 And here's the strangest part.

00:40:54.520 She's hot.

00:40:55.140 Kate, yeah, she's beautiful.

00:40:56.760 Kate, Kate chose that.

00:40:58.940 I didn't say, hey, I love this comedy club owner.

00:41:01.460 Kate had visited a couple of times with me and she's like, she just has this energy.

00:41:04.260 So I was lucky.

00:41:06.160 It's that club and then another club that I'm very close to those people that are sort of booking and own those clubs.

00:41:13.460 And so I'm going to move that chunk and then just be in New York for the Tribeca Film Festival.

00:41:18.400 And I'll do sets in New York.

00:41:19.620 I all the time will do three, four, five.

00:41:21.520 It's a big part of why I moved there.

00:41:24.000 And, but outside of that, I'm touring every weekend because I realized that I was doing so much film and television stuff that just with regards to stand up.

00:41:33.640 And that maximum during Silicon Valley, I could really do a sort of a bus tour and then maybe some clubs, but that's just a month.

00:41:44.040 That's just 30 shows.

00:41:45.500 It's just 35 shows out of the year.

00:41:47.560 You know, you do 35 shows in six weeks when you're, when you're on the road.

00:41:54.460 And so now I'm really trying to put in the time and grind and hustle enough to not just be a really good comedian, but hopefully be a great comedian.

00:42:03.780 Wow.

00:42:04.040 And you know how much work that takes, you know?

00:42:05.840 It takes a lot of work.

00:42:06.440 And then there's, the road is, has a whole different skill set.

00:42:09.860 Like I'm so in awe of you guys in the way I did Adam Ray's podcast.

00:42:14.500 I just did Tiger Belly.

00:42:15.880 I'm really in awe of the way that you guys have the business acumen to have built these podcasts.

00:42:20.920 Cause I, I, what I love about them is it helps your touring, but it really does connect with your audience and you're providing something with them that sort of standup ask, but also has a lot to do with pulling back the curtain saying, this is Theo Vaughn and this is Theo Vaughn with different people.

00:42:36.360 Yeah.

00:42:36.580 And this is what Theo Vaughn is interested in about the other people.

00:42:40.020 And this is what comes, I think that's really amazing.

00:42:42.240 Yeah.

00:42:42.440 It's a place I feel like I don't have to be scared a lot of times.

00:42:44.740 Sometimes it's still kind of scary, you know, like, yeah, of course.

00:42:47.140 But yeah, I, I definitely, or it's, and it's surely started out that way doing podcasting was like a place I felt like that didn't have to be, I don't know.

00:42:55.040 Just, it's just, it's such a, life's hard to learn by yourself, you know?

00:42:59.880 And a lot of people these days are by, or a lot of us are, a lot of people are kind of by themselves or feel that way.

00:43:04.960 I think, you know, especially with social media, which was supposed to connect us.

00:43:08.680 I know that's just you online looking at people that couldn't be further away from you and completely anonymous.

00:43:15.460 It's very, very strange.

00:43:16.440 Yeah.

00:43:16.720 So I think podcasting does a little bit, it's a little bit more, yeah, like it's long form.

00:43:21.240 It's like you get to, you kind of get to enjoy someone for who they, for what they are and what they aren't, you know?

00:43:27.300 It's like you just get to, it's almost a, it's kind of like a lesson, a little bit in acceptance.

00:43:30.840 Even when I watch other guys' podcasts and stuff, it's like, man, I might not agree with everything or that they say or some of their ideas and stuff, but, you know, I care, I do care about that person.

00:43:40.720 So it's like you get into it, you know?

00:43:42.200 It's that, I don't agree with you say it, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it.

00:43:46.220 So you really are kind of, yeah.

00:43:48.880 That's Owen Benjamin, I think, wrote that on his tomb, didn't he?

00:43:51.860 He definitely did.

00:43:52.920 It was on his Tumblr.

00:43:54.060 I watch it on his Tumblr and I steal all that stuff and I use it in conversation.

00:43:57.860 It's mostly.

00:43:58.360 How is Tumblr not a new site?

00:44:00.480 Yeah, right.

00:44:01.460 Tumblr.

00:44:01.820 Tumblr, yeah, I like Tumblr and the tweeter.

00:44:05.420 Yeah.

00:44:05.780 We had a video question that came in.

00:44:08.020 Let's see it.

00:44:08.740 Let's hit it.

00:44:11.640 Because do they now know that we're on the air?

00:44:15.140 Did they meet this lady?

00:44:15.580 She looks Canadian.

00:44:16.400 No, we put it out on social media.

00:44:18.160 These are all, they knew you were coming in.

00:44:20.280 Yeah, nothing's live, we just put it out that they're coming in.

00:44:22.120 Oh, that's great.

00:44:22.440 This is great.

00:44:23.080 I love that you said, did she look Canadian?

00:44:25.080 She does kind of look Canadian.

00:44:26.820 Happy, joyous, outdoors, there's wood in the background.

00:44:29.320 Yellow hat.

00:44:30.060 She's got a scarf like you, wants a little space from the tree.

00:44:33.780 Yeah, wants a little space from the space she's in.

00:44:37.120 Yeah, space from the space.

00:44:38.420 Hi, TJ.

00:44:39.160 Hi, Theo.

00:44:39.920 My question's for TJ.

00:44:41.520 Can she hear me?

00:44:42.300 Can you turn it up?

00:44:42.880 No.

00:44:43.600 Just kidding, I'm kidding.

00:44:45.400 People ask that.

00:44:47.240 Really?

00:44:48.100 Oh, yeah.

00:44:48.620 Eddie Bravo talked back to someone for 11 minutes straight before we realized it was a video.

00:44:56.140 Hi, TJ.

00:44:57.160 Hi, Theo.

00:44:57.920 My question's for TJ.

00:44:58.880 I was wondering, what was the first sandwich that you fell in love with?

00:45:03.700 Was that first what?

00:45:04.660 Armoire?

00:45:04.800 She's definitely not Canadian.

00:45:05.960 She said sandwich.

00:45:07.380 Oh.

00:45:08.060 I like, did you think she said armoire?

00:45:10.020 I did.

00:45:10.520 Ah!

00:45:10.780 The first armoire I fell in love with was, is my parents, my parents, not bedroom, but

00:45:16.420 it was in the second floor of a bright, sort of in the center.

00:45:19.240 I thought, is that an armoire?

00:45:21.160 Is that a chest of drawers?

00:45:22.860 What is that?

00:45:23.340 And my mother said, no, that's an armoire.

00:45:24.880 And I said, it was love at first chest.

00:45:27.000 No, first sandwich I ever fell in love with, I think, yeah, you know, there's this sushi

00:45:34.320 restaurant in Greenwich Village.

00:45:36.140 We have a couple places that we go and we eat and we feel safe.

00:45:39.480 Actually, I relate to you a little bit in what you're saying in New York and in general,

00:45:43.700 but it's a little bit more to do with feeling scared that people are, I mean, it doesn't

00:45:50.320 freak me out so much, but the fact that that guy's like, he was really loud and is he starting

00:45:53.980 an ice cream parlor, that reminds me of something that I don't think about very often, which

00:45:57.520 is I'm famous.

00:45:58.520 People kind of know who I am.

00:46:00.840 And so we really pick and choose, we can curate where we go.

00:46:04.640 So we don't go to many places in New York.

00:46:07.220 There's a jazz club that we feel very safe.

00:46:09.320 There's another great jazz club, but we don't go there because that doesn't feel safe to

00:46:12.580 us.

00:46:12.800 It's younger people drinking.

00:46:14.460 People are drinking a lot more.

00:46:16.120 It's not as much about the jazz.

00:46:17.560 So we can't go places where we become the focus.

00:46:20.340 And then there's certain restaurants.

00:46:21.880 There's a restaurant called Fort Charles Prime Rib.

00:46:23.800 You can't really get a reservation there.

00:46:26.220 You're not allowed to take pictures or talk to other customers really unless they're engaged

00:46:31.240 and you're connected by the maitre d'.

00:46:32.900 There's only 12 tables.

00:46:34.520 There's a sushi restaurant that we go to that only has 14 seats.

00:46:38.640 It's a sushi bar and it's just two employees.

00:46:40.720 And then this, it's called Omikase Room by Tatsu and Tatsu is the chef.

00:46:44.900 And he's one of the great-

00:46:45.300 So you guys pick and choose where you guys spend time.

00:46:47.160 We really do.

00:46:47.700 But the last course, it's Omikase.

00:46:50.000 So it's an 18 course meal.

00:46:51.360 Each course is just a piece of sushi.

00:46:53.060 And the last piece is his uni.

00:46:56.080 It's the eel.

00:46:57.100 He torches it, but also grills it and does it in a way.

00:47:01.500 And the first time I had it, immediately I went back to my childhood when my mother used

00:47:08.780 to make a tuna fish sandwich on white bread with the crust.

00:47:13.220 And it tasted exactly the same.

00:47:16.120 And that was the first, I would always ask my mother, can I have a tuna fish sandwich?

00:47:20.560 Because she had the perfect, like the-

00:47:25.700 Tuna to mayo?

00:47:26.680 Yeah.

00:47:27.100 Tuna to mayo ratio.

00:47:27.940 Right.

00:47:28.120 That's it.

00:47:28.460 The perfect ratio.

00:47:29.680 You can't have a novice thing.

00:47:30.900 I was struggling.

00:47:31.780 And then he goes, tuna to mayo?

00:47:33.300 Yeah.

00:47:33.520 Uh, yeah, it's, she had that exact thing down and sometimes she put relish in it, but really

00:47:39.380 she just, she had the ratio just perfect.

00:47:42.780 That was the first one I fell in love with.

00:47:44.420 And now as an adult, I'm really obsessed with the perfect hamburger.

00:47:49.300 And that's all about ratio also.

00:47:51.740 That's all about which elements you're putting in, how much of it.

00:47:54.640 Yeah.

00:47:55.120 So there's a couple of places that have the best burgers I've ever had in Los Angeles.

00:47:59.760 Burger Lounge is really up there.

00:48:02.240 And then-

00:48:02.660 Over on Sunset?

00:48:03.520 No, Pasadena.

00:48:04.460 There's one in Large Front Village, what?

00:48:05.840 In Pasadena, there's a Burger Lounge.

00:48:07.180 Is there?

00:48:07.620 It's so good.

00:48:08.140 It's all grass-fed beef.

00:48:10.100 And then in-

00:48:11.340 Look, the cow can do whatever he wants on his own time, dude.

00:48:13.940 What I'm saying is, is the burger good, man?

00:48:16.580 That's what I'm saying.

00:48:17.020 Yeah, that's true too.

00:48:18.640 But the grass-fed, for some reason, tastes better to me.

00:48:21.740 And then there's a place in New York called BRGR, which has sort of the perfect kind of,

00:48:27.740 it's just perfect.

00:48:28.860 And there's a place called Burger Joint, which is in a hotel.

00:48:31.900 And that's sort of perfect ratio, but a very different burger.

00:48:35.880 And then there's a famous hamburger in another place where we feel safe called Minetta Tavern.

00:48:40.120 Have you ever played the Comedy Cellar?

00:48:41.640 Yeah.

00:48:41.800 So it's right on that strip on McDougal.

00:48:44.780 And Minetta Tavern has something called the Black Label Burger, and that's $36 to buy that burger.

00:48:50.980 Jesus.

00:48:51.400 And it is well worth it.

00:48:52.860 You get, you know, you can only get a couple a year or something, but it's the highest quality meat.

00:48:57.360 It's just, it's the perfect.

00:48:58.780 And you don't really put ketchup, mustard, or mayo on that.

00:49:02.440 It's just kind of the burger.

00:49:03.920 And then they do caramelized onions.

00:49:05.640 Like the sashimi of burgers, huh?

00:49:06.540 Yeah, kind of.

00:49:07.280 Yeah, right.

00:49:07.880 And then, you know, I do cheese with it because I think that's enough, you know.

00:49:11.660 I could see you doing that.

00:49:12.800 Yeah.

00:49:13.600 Throw a little cheese on there.

00:49:15.680 Look, I got to tell you straight up and straight honest that being healthy is the goal.

00:49:22.080 Being fit is the goal.

00:49:24.380 But being sore and in pain from workouts, not good.

00:49:29.720 You could spend a ton of money to hire a personal masseuse, or you could do what I did and check out PowerDot.

00:49:36.100 PowerDot puts a modern spin on clinically proven muscle stimulation.

00:49:40.960 A lot of times you need to go to like a fancy healthcare place to get stem for your muscles.

00:49:44.700 But now with PowerDot, you can simply apply the different pads to the placement where your muscles are sore, and you can stem them yourself.

00:49:57.360 That's right.

00:49:58.440 It also comes with an app that guides you through the process with pre-designed programs like massage and pad placement photos for places like your lower back.

00:50:07.920 Don't just be putting them all on your cheeks and just electrocuting your smile.

00:50:11.340 You want to take care of yourself.

00:50:12.420 The app is also packed with tons of education.

00:50:16.320 A news feed allows you to learn how the top athletes and physicians in the world are using PowerDot.

00:50:21.740 I have mine on right now.

00:50:23.520 Getting the top of my chest muscles.

00:50:25.700 Got to take care of those.

00:50:27.680 By removing the control unit and connecting via Bluetooth to your mobile phone, the actual unit itself fits easily into the palm of your hand.

00:50:35.000 The app has preset programs like speed up recovery, improve athletic performance, reduce pain, and rehab from injury.

00:50:43.880 And today, PowerDot is offering U.S. customers a free 30-day trial, plus an additional 20% off for our listeners.

00:50:52.560 Go to PowerDot.com slash Theo.

00:50:57.160 That's P-O-W-E-R-D-O-T dot C-O-M slash T-H-E-O.

00:51:02.880 And use the code Theo at checkout for 20% off of your order.

00:51:06.820 That's 20% off.

00:51:08.540 That's PowerDot.com slash Theo.

00:51:10.960 And use code Theo for 20% off.

00:51:13.780 Take care of your muscles.

00:51:15.560 Take care of your own self.

00:51:17.180 Use PowerDot.

00:51:19.520 So you have, what was I, there was something I was in a, that I was, did, whenever you had the, the, we got a question right here.

00:51:30.960 What's up, Theo?

00:51:31.880 What's up, TJ?

00:51:32.720 This is Dylan from Arkansas.

00:51:34.300 Had a quick question for you, TJ.

00:51:36.660 Do you have it in every one of your contracts that no matter what, you can do whatever the fuck you want with your facial hair?

00:51:43.500 Kind of looks like you just wing it every time, and I think it's awesome.

00:51:47.180 Gang, gang.

00:51:47.880 Gang, bro.

00:51:48.520 Yeah, yeah, Jin Yang.

00:51:49.660 I love that he's from Arkansas.

00:51:51.360 He's got, he's obviously on break.

00:51:54.000 He's got the safety vest on.

00:51:56.100 Safety first, baby.

00:51:58.340 You know, I think that's, that's a good point.

00:52:00.500 And also from a gentleman with great facial hair.

00:52:02.780 Look at how he's right in the middle.

00:52:04.340 He's got nothing going on.

00:52:05.500 He's doing what I'm doing, which is taking off the soul patch.

00:52:08.360 But he's got a good sort of length of beard.

00:52:11.220 Good on you, man.

00:52:12.560 It's not in my contract, but I think it's understood.

00:52:15.260 Just like that, I'm going to improvise.

00:52:17.100 You can't expect me to just do the lines as written.

00:52:20.760 Even sometimes I'll say, I don't think this is the right line.

00:52:23.460 Yeah, I'll notice that even when I'm watching you on there.

00:52:25.300 I'm like, he had, there has to be.

00:52:27.220 Yeah.

00:52:27.640 And I'll, I'll, I'll sort of improvise.

00:52:29.220 I'm not going to come and say, I don't like that line.

00:52:31.260 What else do you got?

00:52:32.500 Because I'm a writer.

00:52:33.420 I'll come and I'll say, okay, I don't think that's really the funniest line or doesn't quite fit here.

00:52:38.000 So here's about five other options that I came up with and let's talk.

00:52:42.240 Like, what do you think would be good?

00:52:44.140 So just like people expect that, they kind of know that I'm going to do with my appearance what I want.

00:52:48.980 The Drew Barrymore film, which is called The Stand-In.

00:52:53.320 In The Stand-In, I did, I, I cut weight and had the same facial hair and haircut as my former manager.

00:53:03.220 Um, Barry Katz.

00:53:05.440 That's the, no, that's the, um, uh, that's the character that I'm sort of playing is that, is that manager that I split amicably with.

00:53:13.600 Um, and, uh, and so they just knew, I talked to the director about it, but they just know I'm going to have a very specific idea.

00:53:20.840 The weirdest thing that ever happened to me with regards to, can I do whatever the fuck I want?

00:53:25.700 Is I did this movie called Ready Player One, I should say this picture, um, called Ready Player One and I was really nervous the night before.

00:53:35.180 I just was like, I'm not really an actor, I'm a comedian, should I be reading an acting book or something?

00:53:40.240 I'm about to go in and Steven Spielberg is going to direct me.

00:53:44.520 And so is that, should I, should I be more prepared?

00:53:46.820 And I was just pacing outside of the weirdest state that they put us up in around this fountain, just pacing, pacing, pacing.

00:53:54.800 And finally I was kind of like, um, you know what?

00:53:59.440 You've never worried about this with any other film.

00:54:02.620 Like just change your voice.

00:54:03.860 That's what you do for everything.

00:54:05.000 That's what you did for Weasel and Deadpool.

00:54:07.140 That's what you did.

00:54:07.940 You know, he sort of talks like this and then Ehrlich from Silicon Valley sort of talks more like this.

00:54:12.860 And I was like, okay, let's figure out what the, what is the, and I thought about it.

00:54:17.760 It's like, he's a bounty hunter in this video game world.

00:54:20.740 He's obviously a nerd because he plays video games nonstop all the time.

00:54:24.840 It's how he makes his money, everything.

00:54:26.780 I said, well, who would be his idol?

00:54:28.980 Boba Fett.

00:54:30.020 Right.

00:54:30.340 I mean, obviously that's who we all love from Star Wars.

00:54:32.660 And this guy's actually a bounty hunter.

00:54:34.680 So I just studied Boba Fett's, uh, he only has like five lines.

00:54:38.600 Oh, wow.

00:54:39.080 And just kind of cop some of that vibe.

00:54:41.140 Yeah, cop that vibe and then went in and I was like, all right, I'm just going to ask Steven Spielberg, you know, does he think this is a good idea?

00:54:47.900 And if it's not, then I'm just going to say to him, you know, I'm open to anything else and just let him kind of direct, you know, because he obviously has some ideas.

00:54:53.900 Is he a handsome guy, Steven Spielberg?

00:54:55.680 Is he a handsome guy?

00:54:57.120 Theo Vaughn, first person for that to be not only the first question, but also, um, yeah, let's pull him up.

00:55:04.180 Uh, but I think, uh, yeah, he's a handsome guy.

00:55:07.280 He's definitely got an iconic look.

00:55:08.840 Look, he kind of, he's got a little bit of a look like you look there.

00:55:12.800 He is.

00:55:13.240 Yeah.

00:55:13.520 Yeah.

00:55:13.680 He's handsome guy, but like, he's got his own look.

00:55:16.720 Oh yeah.

00:55:16.920 I could see me look like David Spade's dad.

00:55:18.840 He does look a little like David Spade's dad.

00:55:21.320 We're getting some serious nodding in the booth with that observation.

00:55:24.540 And that means we're right on it.

00:55:26.060 I can, I can, yeah.

00:55:27.160 Nick does not nod very much.

00:55:28.440 But he's the nicest guy, but you think I'm intimidating.

00:55:30.420 So I go up to him and I say, so I was thinking, you know, his idol, this IROC, this IROC's idol would be Boba Fett, you know, because that's the, so I thought I would change my voice and kind of talk like Boba Fett.

00:55:46.020 What, what, what do you think about that?

00:55:47.960 And he goes, yeah, I think that's great.

00:55:50.520 Let's, yeah, let's do that.

00:55:52.180 Whatever you think.

00:55:53.220 And it was so insane to have this guy kind of go, well, it's obviously whatever you want it to be.

00:55:59.240 Yeah.

00:55:59.660 Because to him, he hired you.

00:56:02.380 I heard Woody Allen is like this.

00:56:03.740 He hired you and hiring you was the last he wants to do with you.

00:56:09.520 You're supposed to figure out what you're going to do.

00:56:11.880 And he trusts that you're, that's the reason he hired you was.

00:56:15.940 And even in that one, I said, thank you, Steven Spielberg for having me in your movie.

00:56:19.940 And he said, oh yeah, no, there's no one else.

00:56:21.200 We wrote the part for you.

00:56:22.640 And I thought, oh my God, that's crazy.

00:56:25.540 But it's that he thought about the movie.

00:56:28.040 He, he's a fan of mine, has been helping me throughout my career and was like, TJ will do great with this.

00:56:32.800 So whatever he wants to do, he'll do with it.

00:56:34.900 And it worked out really well.

00:56:36.020 And he'll give you, you know, he'll give you notes and stuff, obviously, but it's really notes on how to improve your performance.

00:56:42.340 But as far as the facial hair and that one, I did, they did give a fuck because I had to shave because I was in the game.

00:56:50.240 And so I had to have 150 black dots all over my face, wear one of those skin tight suits with the ping pong balls all over it.

00:56:58.040 And a helmet with two little cameras and lights that, um, so I was all motion capture for the most part.

00:57:04.420 So it was really, that was a crazy experience.

00:57:07.000 But I guess the real answer to that question is yes, I, or no, I do not, uh, in my contract say I can do whatever the fuck I want with my facial hair.

00:57:15.120 Cause sometimes Steven Spielberg wants you to be a clean baby boy's butt on your face.

00:57:19.560 You got to show up diaper ready, diaper ready.

00:57:22.480 Do you find that like having, so having like a kind of a, you know, I don't know if it's like whimsical.

00:57:29.660 Do you feel like whimsical a lot of times?

00:57:31.760 Like, you know, getting back to like some of the mania and stuff you're talking about, like, do you ever, do you feel like that you're in control of yourself a lot of times?

00:57:39.200 Or does it feel like almost uncontrollable?

00:57:41.980 Um, it's very rare that I would feel like, okay, I'm out of control here with my thinking, but it has happened.

00:57:47.320 I missed a day on Silicon Valley because I had a manic episode that night.

00:57:51.160 And when I say a manic episode, I mean, I thought that there were birds flying by.

00:57:56.000 There were actually drones and then, which were probably bats.

00:57:59.600 And, um, I thought, I thought, I really remember so vividly.

00:58:03.740 I was loading an internet page and it said, visit China.

00:58:06.360 You can come see China, China, China, China.

00:58:08.540 And then it changed.

00:58:09.720 So I thought for sure they were watching me through the, um, the camera.

00:58:14.620 I know for reals.

00:58:15.680 Well, that's why I went to Shanghai recently.

00:58:17.360 It's okay.

00:58:18.060 That's why in the main, I don't think I'll ever go.

00:58:20.340 Um, that's why in the main, um, in the, in the mania, in the midst of a manic episode, you, of course, you're like, that could be real.

00:58:28.660 But in mania, you're like, that's definitely real.

00:58:30.560 And so I smashed the computer and cause I was afraid they were watching me through the, and you get, and all of this makes complete sense to you.

00:58:37.840 But I would say that's happened five or 10 times in my entire life.

00:58:43.860 It's much more, and when you say sense of whimsy, whimsy, the first thing I think of is Kate.

00:58:48.080 Because Kate is really, she talks about that a lot.

00:58:50.980 She likes, I love a sense of whimsy.

00:58:52.660 She likes things that are whimsical.

00:58:54.360 I think it's kind of, I'm pretty carefree.

00:58:58.600 And, um, it's really a positive nihilism.

00:59:02.020 It's like, if none of this, if none of this means anything, then, uh, then anything can mean everything.

00:59:08.180 That's sort of the positive nihilist viewpoint.

00:59:10.900 If nothing means anything, then you decide what, because anything can mean everything.

00:59:16.460 So for me, it's making people laugh and doing that.

00:59:18.760 And that's why a nihilist, a true nihilist would never have a conversation with a, um, religious person and be like, there's no God.

00:59:29.840 There's, you know, what are you talking about?

00:59:31.580 None of this means anything.

00:59:32.900 You wouldn't do that.

00:59:33.800 That's somebody who's like dogmatic and not truly a nihilist.

00:59:36.940 Right.

00:59:37.060 That's somebody who's more trying to push their agenda, maybe.

00:59:39.100 Yeah.

00:59:39.220 Because if truly nothing means anything, then who cares?

00:59:43.800 Yeah.

00:59:43.960 There's a God, whatever.

00:59:45.780 Even saying there's not a God doesn't mean anything.

00:59:49.120 All that language is, is totally meaningless.

00:59:51.600 Right.

00:59:51.980 So, and if someone believes it, why take them to task if it's, if it makes them feel comfortable or them feel good.

00:59:57.980 Yeah.

00:59:58.280 And that's, that is, I think a beautiful thing in positive nihilism is this idea of you make your own meaning.

01:00:05.020 That's, that's, we all in effect have become that concept of God where you can completely make your life meaningful in any way, shape or form.

01:00:13.920 Again, the state farm agent where it's like, you can make meaning in that, or you can take other people's meaning and feel bad and wish you had a better car and always want the next biggest television and all that stuff.

01:00:26.380 But then again, as a positive nihilist, I'm going, but if wanting a bigger car is going to make you happy and having the next television and the next best television, and that's really important to you and you work hard because of that, then great.

01:00:41.640 That's the meaning that you've made.

01:00:43.540 And so you get, it gets to a place like you were talking about acceptance.

01:00:47.380 You get to a place of really being accepting of other people and what they want and need and do.

01:00:53.120 The only thing I don't, not very accepting of is hecklers.

01:00:56.380 Do you get a lot of hecklers?

01:00:57.960 Only in Oxon Hill, Maryland last weekend.

01:01:00.040 That was really the only place.

01:01:02.000 He's like steer clear Oxonville.

01:01:04.060 I got, what happened to me?

01:01:06.400 Oh, well, I got, whenever like my career started to get busier about like a year ago,

01:01:10.780 I started to have like a lot of control issues I didn't realize that I had.

01:01:13.980 Like I, I didn't realize how controlling I kind of was.

01:01:16.500 Like I just.

01:01:17.000 In terms of what?

01:01:17.740 I just gotten used to being in a club and knowing what the space was like in the environment.

01:01:21.380 And then I felt so responsible for everybody's hat, like joy at the show in a theater and you can't see them or anything.

01:01:28.340 Like, I don't know if a lot of people realize in a theater, you're just looking at lights a lot of times,

01:01:32.880 or even almost on any stage, you're just looking at lights.

01:01:34.840 Like you can't, it's almost like two people trying to park boats and you can't direct them.

01:01:38.880 They're not listening in the, you know, and you're like park the boats and shut it off, you know?

01:01:43.120 So I can, it's almost like an experiment.

01:01:44.940 Sometimes you're just performing into a light.

01:01:46.720 Sometimes it feels like.

01:01:47.820 Performing a little bit into a void and you know, in a comedy club, you can at least see the front row.

01:01:51.780 Yeah.

01:01:52.060 And then if somebody yells something, you can either maybe see them or you can kind of talk to them in a way where it's like,

01:01:59.220 we're in the same room.

01:02:00.340 Right.

01:02:00.740 I mean, in the theater, they're like, we're in the audience.

01:02:02.820 You're on the stage.

01:02:03.920 So we're, our entity is audience and there's a huge barrier between us and the stage.

01:02:08.580 And I talk in my standup a lot about ripping your attention away from these screens that are ruining our lives

01:02:15.720 and how happy I'm that they came to a setting like this, which is live and is I'll never perform for this exact audience again.

01:02:24.060 No other audience will see this exact performance.

01:02:26.260 This is a singular sort of time in our lives that we're sharing together.

01:02:30.520 That doesn't work as well.

01:02:33.100 Even that material doesn't work as well in a big theater.

01:02:36.400 If I'm performing for a thousand people, they're kind of like, I could sort of be watching this at home on my television.

01:02:43.080 Right.

01:02:43.280 And when I try and improvise, which I do every show in a theater, you're just further away.

01:02:50.120 Yeah.

01:02:50.660 It feels detached and it's tough.

01:02:52.580 People can't really hear what people said.

01:02:53.960 You have to repeat it.

01:02:55.040 Right.

01:02:55.400 That can fuck up the timing.

01:02:56.660 So hecklers in those senses, yeah, I hate that.

01:02:58.840 I hate that because it's too invasive.

01:03:01.860 Do you play mostly theaters now or mostly comedy clubs or just a mix?

01:03:05.560 Probably a mix, yeah.

01:03:06.560 I mean, I've done a lot of theaters this past year, but I'm looking forward to getting back into some clubs

01:03:11.340 and just trying to work on some new material.

01:03:14.140 I mean, I think that's a big part of what I love about the clubs.

01:03:16.940 But I would always rather do five shows at a 500-seat theater than one show at a 2,500-seat theater.

01:03:25.980 And that might change as I grow older or also the material matures or how I want to present things changes.

01:03:34.340 But right now, kind of back to what you're talking about with the shift and trying to become a great comedian,

01:03:42.140 that also just requires reps.

01:03:44.260 It's like I need five shows much more than I need one show.

01:03:48.220 Yeah.

01:03:48.360 And that's why when I finish a weekend of doing five shows or six shows, if we add shows,

01:03:54.040 I'll come back to New York and I will at least one or two nights go and do sets,

01:03:59.220 just go and do spots all around town.

01:04:01.320 So I'm performing a lot.

01:04:03.420 And that's why I moved to New York.

01:04:04.720 I moved because Kate is this famous installation artist, like internationally,

01:04:10.440 but her world is in New York.

01:04:14.620 And so I wanted to be with her.

01:04:16.260 So I moved for love, obviously.

01:04:18.580 Oh, yeah.

01:04:19.040 And then also just to be able to do so many more spots.

01:04:22.680 And I love the feel, like we were talking about in the very beginning,

01:04:26.140 I love the feel of the – I love the energy,

01:04:29.480 the fire alarm energy of doing – being a stand-up comic in New York.

01:04:32.760 Yeah.

01:04:33.520 Yeah, I think it has like – yeah, New York definitely has more of a –

01:04:40.220 you feel like you're just part of – there's always something going on.

01:04:43.740 It feels fun.

01:04:45.480 The world feels alive there.

01:04:47.360 Yeah.

01:04:47.500 And here the world feels a little bit more like –

01:04:50.180 A little sleepy.

01:04:50.720 Packaged and like you're waiting for like Amazon to bring it by.

01:04:53.560 Yeah.

01:04:53.840 That's what I feel like here sometimes.

01:04:54.780 And a little sleepy, a little – you're in traffic and you're stopping

01:04:58.420 and then you're starting and you're stopping.

01:04:59.960 New York is just like go, go, go.

01:05:01.140 Would you ever – have you lived in New York?

01:05:02.760 Would you ever live there?

01:05:03.580 I just lived there for about three months.

01:05:05.520 Actually, I rented a room from a – I mean, a fellow,

01:05:08.100 a homosexual gentleman actually and he said –

01:05:11.500 Let's make that clear.

01:05:12.940 So it was really well decorated.

01:05:14.460 Well, I'm just saying.

01:05:15.240 Very clean.

01:05:15.700 And, yeah, I took his bed over for, you know, three months, man.

01:05:20.340 So I've done some things, you know.

01:05:22.280 I took on some lovers.

01:05:23.740 And I actually still feel like I owe him $150 maybe to get the – I don't know if I hired a cleaner or whatever.

01:05:29.080 But anyway, but what I'm telling you is, yeah, I stayed there for three months and I really enjoyed it.

01:05:34.260 Ari Shafir let me stay at his place for a little while.

01:05:36.100 He's great.

01:05:36.480 I ran into him a lot and Kate loves him.

01:05:39.180 She loves his energy.

01:05:40.700 He is such a sweet dude and he's very present.

01:05:43.460 Yeah.

01:05:43.720 And almost every time I have a conversation with him, I walk away from it with sort of a little bit more perspective on things.

01:05:51.160 We presently not welcome the Staples Center to Los Angeles.

01:05:54.300 Is that true?

01:05:55.220 Yeah.

01:05:55.400 Oh, yeah, that's right.

01:05:56.060 He had that falling out with Kobe Bryant.

01:05:57.820 That would make perfect sense.

01:05:59.280 At first I was like, what did he do with the Staples Center?

01:06:02.340 And then I was like, oh, I see.

01:06:03.840 Yes, yes.

01:06:04.420 No, he's a sweet guy.

01:06:05.240 But he also had that falling out with Kobe Bryant or, you know, with that whole deal.

01:06:08.100 And so he –

01:06:08.960 But that, coming from a positive nihilistic viewpoint, and I talked to him.

01:06:15.240 We saw him after that.

01:06:16.460 Kate and I were just walking home and he was headed downtown, I think to do the cellar.

01:06:20.880 Yeah, do the fat black.

01:06:22.720 And we sort of stopped him and we talked a little bit.

01:06:26.620 And then I said, you know, with the Mark Norman stuff, Mark Norman sort of spoke about how the people calling in death threats.

01:06:34.700 Like, why are we not focusing our anger on those people?

01:06:38.380 Those people, yeah.

01:06:38.760 That's really –

01:06:39.180 And Ari said, yeah, I heard that he said something kind of interesting about that.

01:06:44.060 And he said, well, you know what it's like.

01:06:45.220 It's like, you know, you just – because you've had the media go after you.

01:06:51.660 And I was like, yeah.

01:06:53.400 And I do want to say, because I wanted to say this to him.

01:06:55.940 I said, and my thing is, I didn't think it was a funny joke.

01:06:59.500 I didn't think it was funny what you did.

01:07:00.640 And he's like, then that's fine.

01:07:01.640 That's fine.

01:07:02.140 That's not the point of it.

01:07:03.360 And I was like, but I don't think it's wrong.

01:07:05.820 If that was your thing and that's what you do, then I don't think you did anything wrong.

01:07:12.300 I think you got the reaction that you were going to get by doing that.

01:07:16.180 Yeah, that's how you learn whatever it is.

01:07:17.700 And you don't expect that people are not going to react.

01:07:20.680 If you're being a provocateur, then you expect people to feel provoked and to react in that way.

01:07:25.840 Which is a form of art to a lot of people.

01:07:27.940 And it's something a lot of artists are.

01:07:29.360 Sure, Harmony Corrine is one of my favorite directors.

01:07:30.800 Yeah, man.

01:07:31.360 And he did Kids and Gummo.

01:07:32.760 I thought I saw him the other day.

01:07:34.200 Really?

01:07:34.740 And I was so afraid.

01:07:36.040 Yeah, I met a guy.

01:07:37.360 Well, somebody introduced me to somebody through – I met someone.

01:07:40.440 Yeah.

01:07:40.720 Somebody introduced me to that person, and their name was Harmony.

01:07:44.060 And it really, really looked like him, but I was so afraid to ask him.

01:07:47.720 God, he's so great.

01:07:48.760 Gummo, I think, is one of the great – but those films are so viscerally provocative.

01:07:54.240 Yeah.

01:07:55.180 He's always been provocative.

01:07:56.580 He's always been really –

01:07:57.600 Yeah, that's his thing.

01:07:58.400 And he gets on stage, and he'll talk shit about Jewish people, and he's Jewish.

01:08:03.600 And he had – the first thing I ever saw him in was –

01:08:04.920 He's a Jewish supremacist, really, almost.

01:08:06.380 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:07.020 And the first thing I saw him in is The Amazing Racist.

01:08:12.720 Oh, yeah.

01:08:13.160 And so that was so long ago.

01:08:14.640 But from the get-go, he was walking around like an Asian geisha and just being so racist.

01:08:20.480 He had a fake slave ship going back to Africa.

01:08:22.760 Yeah, right.

01:08:23.400 Exactly.

01:08:23.580 So it's like, obviously, the guy is into jarring types of humor.

01:08:28.000 Really, really pushing, pushing, pushing.

01:08:29.600 I think the problem is a lot of people had never seen – you get a whole new group of people

01:08:33.360 who had never heard of Ari.

01:08:34.720 Right.

01:08:35.280 And this is how the first time they hear about him.

01:08:37.360 So that's an easy picking for a lame – that's an easy picking to hate.

01:08:41.000 You know what's weird, too?

01:08:41.960 It's like, oh, I've got to hate somebody today.

01:08:43.580 This is the easiest, the lowest-hanging fruit.

01:08:45.540 Right, right.

01:08:45.840 I'm going to hate him.

01:08:46.560 But I think they probably also said – you know, it's just – that was a –

01:08:51.580 But he should be able to say what he wants.

01:08:52.680 Yeah, I mean –

01:08:53.540 That's what Twitter's for, I thought.

01:08:54.620 Kate said he should have known better.

01:08:55.800 And I was like, he did know just fine.

01:08:58.540 Like, he knew that – and what I said to him was – I was like, so, how are you doing?

01:09:04.460 And you're fine, right?

01:09:05.360 And he goes, yeah.

01:09:06.760 You know, you realize you get all this hatred, all this stuff.

01:09:10.140 He's like, then you close the laptop and you look around and you're like, birds are chirping.

01:09:13.420 I live in New York.

01:09:14.400 It's beautiful outside.

01:09:16.120 He said the problem was is that his family –

01:09:18.800 And, you know, kind of think about this in the context of the hate that he got.

01:09:23.200 He said, you know, the problem was with my family, I realized, oh, they're taking this seriously and it's on a national level.

01:09:28.720 And so I had to say to them, I'm okay.

01:09:30.460 Nobody's going to kill me.

01:09:31.720 I'm being safe.

01:09:33.120 So that's what's really interesting is nobody really thinks behind all of that online hatred is a family that is really scared for their son.

01:09:40.800 For their son or their brother, yeah.

01:09:42.340 I think if the Knicks had been doing better, I think he would have had more support out of New York.

01:09:46.640 I'm serious.

01:09:47.340 I love that.

01:09:48.280 But I do.

01:09:49.080 But, yeah, it was just – look, we've all told jokes that have bad timing, you know?

01:09:53.280 Like, and sometimes it's – you should just be able to joke.

01:09:57.140 And if you can joke and turn off your Twitter and turn that off, if you don't care about that kind of stuff, then you still can.

01:10:03.820 I had to – do you get Google alerts about yourself?

01:10:06.800 No, I don't.

01:10:08.060 And I did for a long time because I was just interested in what people had to say.

01:10:12.140 That sounds so painful.

01:10:12.780 And a while ago, I kind of –

01:10:14.980 Well, you've had some wild alerts too, though, man.

01:10:16.940 Yeah, but I've also had people –

01:10:19.400 I've done Google alerts about you.

01:10:20.280 I don't even have you written down in my Google alerts.

01:10:21.860 Exactly.

01:10:22.300 Yeah.

01:10:23.060 But I've had people sort of say stuff like, you know, you weren't funny in this movie or you were terrible.

01:10:29.540 It almost feels like they're talking about somebody else.

01:10:31.360 I don't take that personally, but I got to a point where I started to understand like it doesn't –

01:10:36.040 I still try and get on Twitter and interact with fans and do that, and I'm trying to interact more on Instagram.

01:10:42.920 But the healthier thing, if you can do it, is just to not, you know, just to do Instagram when it feels like it's fine and then –

01:10:51.500 That's my email.

01:10:52.440 It's Google alerts for Theo Vaughn.

01:10:53.920 That's it.

01:10:54.520 It feels good.

01:10:55.420 You have yours on, but he's got – yeah, my God.

01:10:58.960 That's the real deal, man.

01:11:00.240 I'm glad that –

01:11:01.440 I'm glad that doesn't come to your inbox.

01:11:03.120 Yeah, I'm glad somebody knows what's going on and if I'm okay.

01:11:05.360 For sure.

01:11:05.900 I'll text Nick and ask him if I'm okay.

01:11:07.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:08.400 You just got to check in.

01:11:09.660 Most of my day is getting home at the end of the day and being like, oh, my God, did I – am I okay?

01:11:13.660 Am I okay?

01:11:14.300 Yeah, like getting inside and be like, am I okay?

01:11:15.980 Everything is all right.

01:11:16.880 Yeah.

01:11:17.340 So you do – you have some sort of – would you call it sort of – are you an anxious person?

01:11:22.660 Do you have some anxiety?

01:11:24.700 You think, Nick?

01:11:25.980 Yeah, it – like –

01:11:28.140 You have kind of a laid-back anxiety.

01:11:30.160 It's like a feeling that everything could go away at any moment, which I guess causes anxiety, I feel like, is what I get.

01:11:35.780 Lazy anxiety?

01:11:36.580 No, I think it's an easy-going anxiety, but I'll say that's everybody –

01:11:39.600 I don't trust –

01:11:40.140 Andy Warhol was always afraid that it was all going to disappear at once.

01:11:43.160 So that happens to do with a lot of artists, you know?

01:11:45.860 Yeah, I don't know where that comes from.

01:11:48.020 Just thinking that everything's not going to be okay.

01:11:50.740 Like, oh, wait, I do – when I was young and stuff, nobody ever told me that everything's okay.

01:11:54.520 There was never anybody in my life who was like just saying, hey, everything's fine, you know?

01:11:58.840 So there was this narrative started in my head that everything just wasn't okay, you know?

01:12:02.340 And so that's – I think like a – it's just a strong swimmer that's in my bowl is that, you know, just that everything's not okay.

01:12:12.180 Everything's not okay.

01:12:12.860 Like I'll call people and be like, everything's okay, right?

01:12:14.900 Like, yeah, everything's okay, man.

01:12:16.840 I think also Los Angeles has done that to me a lot.

01:12:18.920 Yeah, Los Angeles is filled with status anxiety.

01:12:21.340 I also want to say I love the way that you speak.

01:12:23.720 You have such an idiosyncratic way of speaking when you say, I've got that just swimming around in my bowl.

01:12:28.700 I would never – no one else except for you would say it like that.

01:12:32.020 But it makes perfect sense, just like the fire alarm analogy.

01:12:35.180 But Los Angeles has so much status anxiety and there's none of that in New York.

01:12:39.540 I mean, we really – we came back and Kate went to a screening with a friend of hers and her friend was clearly had this – just the status anxiety, a little bit of desperation to her energy now.

01:12:51.160 And we hadn't seen her in a couple of years.

01:12:53.340 And I actually didn't feel it.

01:12:57.240 It goes pretty well for me at the – I like the guys at the Laugh Factory.

01:13:00.440 I'm like buddies with D'Elia and Bobby Lee and stuff.

01:13:02.780 So that's always nice.

01:13:04.220 But I used to feel in – if I did any east side rooms and kind of the all hipster type rooms, there's just so much status anxiety as to how –

01:13:14.460 Really?

01:13:14.840 I feel like that's your world.

01:13:16.180 No.

01:13:16.800 And certainly not anymore because those people have become the like woke kind of I'll go after you on Twitter and all that kind of stuff.

01:13:25.340 So for me, I really like the clubs here.

01:13:29.520 And then in Manhattan, I will do bar shows sometimes.

01:13:32.640 But I also just want to perform for real people because that's what you and I do on the road.

01:13:38.100 And so it doesn't help us a lot to like – like I haven't even been to Brooklyn since I moved to New York.

01:13:43.380 And I've been in New York for like three or four years.

01:13:44.900 Wow, I feel like that's your whole world.

01:13:45.420 No.

01:13:46.060 It's so – we are so much more a Manhattan energy and couple and I'm so much more of a Manhattan person.

01:13:52.760 To me, first of all, going to Brooklyn, to get to Brooklyn, do a show and come back, I could have done three shows in Manhattan.

01:13:59.180 So what was the point of going to Brooklyn?

01:14:01.040 And second of all, the audiences in Brooklyn, that's not who I'm performing for in Omaha, Nebraska, nor is it who I'm performing for in Portland or San Francisco or Philadelphia.

01:14:11.120 It is just Brooklyn and I don't need any of the Brooklyn cachet.

01:14:15.420 Yeah, it's just a lot of – it's definitely a lot of judgment comes out of some of those holes.

01:14:18.820 And I don't do the cellar right now in part because that table has a lot of status anxiety and people are thinking about, hey, I got to – I'm past at the cellar.

01:14:28.420 And I get a little bit of energy of, you know, you don't belong here yet.

01:14:33.780 You haven't paid your dues or something and no other clubs are like that.

01:14:37.540 So that's the only place I experience status anxiety in New York City is in the comedy cellar proper.

01:14:46.120 And everybody else is nice to me there.

01:14:47.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:47.920 I get nervous in there.

01:14:48.900 Jim Norton and Dave Attal and Godfrey, all those people are so nice to me.

01:14:52.760 But the younger class, if it's not one of the girls, so like I get along with Nikki Glaser, Rachel Feinstein.

01:14:59.560 Like there's – I get along with all the girls.

01:15:00.840 They're like men almost though too, doesn't it?

01:15:02.240 Yeah, too.

01:15:02.760 And they're just cool.

01:15:04.560 They're just like down-ass chicks.

01:15:05.640 I just love them.

01:15:07.080 And so I think that more and more I'm seeing that like if I stay away from that table at the comedy cellar and I don't play that room but I'll play Village Underground in the Fat Black Pussycat.

01:15:21.900 I don't really come across any – I don't come across much status anxiety in Manhattan.

01:15:28.480 And so that's really helped me because I agree with you.

01:15:30.820 I think Los Angeles can kind of make you think, where am I?

01:15:34.600 Where am I compared to this person?

01:15:36.060 When am I going to get to here?

01:15:36.500 You don't see anybody.

01:15:37.100 You don't connect.

01:15:37.700 You never – like I know I'm a nice person sometimes because I'll see someone in the morning or anytime in a regular place.

01:15:44.100 You run into more people.

01:15:45.400 Hey, how are you?

01:15:46.040 How are you?

01:15:46.540 You share a little bit about what's going on.

01:15:48.200 If they're not doing well, I can notice it and say, hey, what's happening?

01:15:51.520 Yeah, yeah.

01:15:52.200 Do something and be a part of somebody's day.

01:15:54.480 So you have more of a reflection of who you are.

01:15:57.360 Somebody can see if you're not doing well, whereas here you just get so – it's just – it's built in a way that if you don't make an extra – if you don't try harder to get out and meet other people, you make an extra effort.

01:16:12.420 Yes, effort.

01:16:13.320 Then you can get stuck where you're just looking at your own reflection all the time.

01:16:17.480 I think that's right, and you're in a car, and to get from this neighborhood to this neighborhood takes 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and that's why we've always lived in Hollywood because we have a place here, which is like a little apartment, and it's in Hollywood, so we walk a lot.

01:16:35.140 We don't really drive in Los Angeles.

01:16:36.780 That's nice.

01:16:37.240 I'd rather have somebody even throw shit at me just because somebody's around, you know?

01:16:40.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:41.300 That guy's got turds, you know?

01:16:42.800 It's getting wild out here.

01:16:44.060 It is getting wild.

01:16:45.100 Hollywood is – it's a sketchy, grimy place, but it was the closest thing we had to New York City, and so we've kind of stuck around that area.

01:16:53.900 But, yeah, I almost crave – when I took Kate, I was upset that I had to take a car out here right away because I just will walk.

01:17:03.740 I walk so much out there, and there's all these secret stairs and stuff, and that just reminds you that Los Angeles isn't just Hollywood the machine.

01:17:14.260 It's also a city, and we drove from San Jose.

01:17:19.940 I have a classic car.

01:17:21.500 It's a 1992 Mitsubishi 3000 GT VR4 Twin Turbo.

01:17:25.680 Pull it up.

01:17:26.940 Praise God.

01:17:27.480 It's red.

01:17:28.740 Praise the Lord.

01:17:30.360 PTL, baby.

01:17:31.260 And so we took that from San Jose down the Pacific Coast 1, the Highway 1, through Carmel and Big Sur, and then all the way down to Santa Barbara.

01:17:42.400 I'd jerk off in the trunk of that thing, dude.

01:17:44.440 Yeah, you can.

01:17:44.760 And I wouldn't tell a soul, boy.

01:17:47.260 You feel me, dude?

01:17:48.560 I wonder if it was –

01:17:49.760 Is that you right there by it over in that field over there on the right, a little lower?

01:17:53.820 Do you have it on your Instagram, possibly?

01:17:55.440 Yeah, definitely.

01:17:56.560 Right.

01:17:56.800 Is that –

01:17:57.640 So maybe put it on Instagram.

01:17:59.100 You saw it?

01:18:00.180 But it's –

01:18:01.180 No, to the right a little.

01:18:02.980 Up.

01:18:03.960 Up.

01:18:04.600 Left.

01:18:05.320 Nope.

01:18:06.280 No, I don't see that anymore.

01:18:07.340 That field.

01:18:07.900 Look at that field, man.

01:18:10.140 Is that you?

01:18:11.280 It's on my Instagram.

01:18:12.220 Yes, that's me, but from Transformers 4.

01:18:14.100 That's not my car.

01:18:15.640 That's a dope car.

01:18:17.180 Dude, you got a little bit of thick in you, baby.

01:18:19.840 Yeah, you know what it is.

01:18:20.940 Yeah, dude.

01:18:22.180 You got to get a thong, baby.

01:18:23.460 You got to go to Miami.

01:18:24.640 Yeah, that's the way.

01:18:26.440 But yeah, so we drove that down the coast because we wanted to remind ourselves that Los Angeles is not –

01:18:36.100 Is not California.

01:18:37.780 Yeah.

01:18:39.220 Or for us, that California isn't Los Angeles.

01:18:42.900 Los Angeles is just a part of California.

01:18:46.160 It's huge, man.

01:18:46.880 And that was really, really important, and we had such a good time, and we renewed our vows in Big Sur a while ago, and we love Santa Barbara, so we got much more into the everything.

01:18:58.560 Even if you get out – there's a podcast that I've done a few times that I absolutely love, and I want to go do it again, and it's called –

01:19:04.760 It would be pretty recently.

01:19:06.480 It would be like within the last month or so, Kate and I would have been out and about.

01:19:11.840 Look at that picture of me with the face on my chest with Kate.

01:19:15.840 Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.

01:19:16.520 That's pretty perfect.

01:19:18.040 That was from the Critics' Choice Awards.

01:19:19.780 We did an opener with whistling belly buttons.

01:19:22.240 But yeah, it would have been just a few more down.

01:19:25.400 Do you get nervous?

01:19:26.400 Like, do you – what is your relationship like with the media?

01:19:28.860 Like, do you trust the media?

01:19:30.240 No.

01:19:30.800 Because you've had some wild stories.

01:19:33.140 Yeah, not at all.

01:19:33.420 And the reason is because –

01:19:34.140 Yeah, the Amtrak experience.

01:19:35.480 Yeah, the reason is because of the clickbait.

01:19:38.500 They're looking for sort of the clickbait of it all.

01:19:42.000 And when it is – there it is.

01:19:43.460 That's it.

01:19:45.200 So that's – yeah, you can play the card.

01:19:46.920 Let me see it.

01:19:47.300 It'll show you the card.

01:19:48.220 Yeah, that's it.

01:19:50.780 I mean, yeah, right?

01:19:53.900 Isn't that nice?

01:19:55.260 Look at that.

01:19:56.540 And that's a guy smoking weed in a bus.

01:19:58.640 That's what it's like to be in Northern California.

01:20:01.100 That bus isn't in use, though, but yeah.

01:20:03.340 Yeah.

01:20:03.900 I mean, he was using it to get high, for sure.

01:20:06.200 Yeah, that's true.

01:20:07.300 But no, I mean, I – you can't.

01:20:10.780 And it's so sad that the current narrative is kind of true that they'll just – they'll

01:20:16.940 either lie about you or they'll turn whatever it is into clickbait and they're kind of –

01:20:22.280 you know, it's – that's the problem with the media right now is they're trying to get

01:20:26.020 ratings like entertainment, like a television show or a movie with a box office, that type

01:20:32.640 of thing.

01:20:33.500 And so I try and really – all you can do is tune that out.

01:20:36.000 I asked Jennifer Aniston about this in Office Christmas Party.

01:20:39.200 I said, how do you deal with the tablet stuff?

01:20:41.320 I mean, it's just so crazy.

01:20:42.900 They're just lying.

01:20:43.360 She seems like such a team that's able to manage it so much.

01:20:45.740 Well, but they're just lying.

01:20:46.760 I mean, on the front of these things, they say, oh, Brad and – and, you know, they're

01:20:52.640 getting back together or, like, Jennifer Aniston is so happy that Brad and Angelina are

01:20:57.640 getting divorced.

01:20:58.720 And she was like, I'm not happy.

01:20:59.900 I want people to be happy.

01:21:01.100 I'm not happy.

01:21:01.600 None of that is true.

01:21:03.520 I said, so how do you deal with it?

01:21:04.540 And she said, you know, you just have to tune it out and just have to be zen about it.

01:21:08.280 You have to.

01:21:09.040 And it takes a lot of energy and it requires a lot of work.

01:21:11.940 And you got to know that the people that really know you know the real story.

01:21:15.760 And the rest of the world is going to have to decide if they want to believe these sources

01:21:20.380 that just aren't real, you know?

01:21:22.140 When you had – can I ask you about the train experience, the Amtrak?

01:21:25.900 Yeah, because we're still – only because we're still –

01:21:29.900 Do you really get to meet the FBI?

01:21:32.180 It's not as glamorous as all that, Theo.

01:21:36.720 But you – that case hasn't been resolved yet because it was – as I say, it's a miscommunication

01:21:43.740 with the federal government.

01:21:44.740 And so once the case is resolved, we'll be able to talk about it more.

01:21:49.540 But that's an example of something that was like – that was between me and the government,

01:21:55.760 you know?

01:21:56.200 Me trying to – if you see something, say something.

01:21:59.300 And the government worrying that it wasn't anything.

01:22:01.820 And then TMZ just immediately was like, he did this.

01:22:06.780 And it was false.

01:22:08.140 And he called it as a – and it's like –

01:22:09.820 And there's no rebuttal for people if there is something that's said that's off about them

01:22:13.780 or wrong.

01:22:14.200 There's no –

01:22:14.840 I have a bit about that, that you can't – you're totally – the media can lie about

01:22:19.300 you with any repercussion or any recourse.

01:22:21.760 And you can't do anything.

01:22:22.780 You can't even sue people for defamation if you're famous.

01:22:25.160 So the second that they can prove that in some arena you are famous, you're definitely

01:22:31.840 famous.

01:22:33.120 And so if somebody could say something terrible about you in the press and you'd be like,

01:22:36.040 that's a lie.

01:22:36.600 I'm suing for defamation.

01:22:38.100 That's great.

01:22:38.400 They would be able to say, no, that's not the case.

01:22:42.180 And they could sue you, right, for something that isn't true.

01:22:47.020 And most likely the lawyers would say, Theo, it's better to settle this out of court.

01:22:52.100 And you could say, but this person is lying.

01:22:53.840 Like, this is what happened to me.

01:22:55.160 This person is just lying.

01:22:56.360 They just decided to lie.

01:22:57.800 And the lawyer will say, well, we actually know from running his past that he has a history

01:23:05.120 of suing companies and people and settling out of court.

01:23:09.200 So he's done this before and it's better for you to pay him money than to go in front

01:23:14.680 of a court and possibly be exposed to losing more money.

01:23:18.400 And not only is that a terrible reality, what's also terrible is now when it says that was

01:23:23.900 settled out of court, the public is kind of like, so did he do something wrong and just

01:23:28.320 pay the person off?

01:23:29.120 Right.

01:23:29.340 There's never, they just leave this, this untethered end, like kind of, or whatever.

01:23:34.040 It's totally crazy.

01:23:34.540 Do you think, but, but it didn't, but doesn't it scare you to work in an industry that's

01:23:38.720 kind of built on a lot of that?

01:23:41.000 Absolutely.

01:23:41.520 Well, I think that's a big part of right now when I'm doing standup and doing in, in

01:23:46.380 doing standup, I'm actually in a lot of ways doing much better than I was doing when I

01:23:51.200 was on a television show because financially it's the same, if not better.

01:23:55.260 Um, artistically you're in charge of your own everything, uh, in terms of like personal

01:24:01.660 life, I have much more flexibility and I get to spend a lot more time with Kate.

01:24:05.120 If I'm doing a TV show or a movie, a movie, I'm gone for three months and Kate really can't

01:24:10.940 visit me because she has her own work and I can't go on the weekends to visit her.

01:24:14.840 So I see her a lot more doing standup than I would if I was doing film and television.

01:24:19.120 Um, but like with the Drew Barrymore movie, I still love doing films and, um, but yeah,

01:24:25.320 it's a, uh, it's standup is very different.

01:24:28.580 Bill Burr has a really good Conan interview.

01:24:31.600 Oh, have you seen ours with him?

01:24:33.600 No, I mean, I've seen it.

01:24:35.200 It's pretty good.

01:24:35.800 Yeah.

01:24:36.060 He's great.

01:24:36.760 But he said the way you do it is don't have your own show.

01:24:39.760 And which is funny cause he has F is for family.

01:24:42.960 Um, but he was like the best thing you can do is just not have your own show.

01:24:45.800 Then you can say whatever you want cause they can't take anything away from you.

01:24:48.540 And so that's, I think what was really pounded into my face is that Hollywood almost darkly

01:24:56.340 prides itself on the fact that it can take everything away from you at every moment.

01:25:00.540 That's in fact what the stand in is about.

01:25:02.980 Drew Barrymore plays a movie star and her own stand in.

01:25:07.520 So she's playing two parts and it's about how Hollywood loves to take everything away

01:25:11.860 from you, tear you down and then make you grovel to, uh, pull yourself back up.

01:25:18.060 And do an apology tour and apologize and say, please, you know, I want to apologize to

01:25:23.700 my fans.

01:25:24.440 And I took a slavery on my, or it's not a slavery.

01:25:27.280 It is.

01:25:27.500 No, it's like a slavery.

01:25:28.500 It's like they, you know, they can beat you and then make you apologize for making them

01:25:34.480 beat you.

01:25:35.020 Yeah.

01:25:35.440 Sort of kind of like that.

01:25:36.900 And that is a slave.

01:25:38.080 Yeah.

01:25:38.260 Like, Oh, I understood why you beat me.

01:25:40.140 Yeah.

01:25:40.380 Exactly.

01:25:40.740 And I want to apologize to you for it.

01:25:42.700 And please give me a chance to not be beaten.

01:25:45.380 Yeah.

01:25:45.820 It's almost like that.

01:25:47.000 And so standup just eliminates that possibility.

01:25:50.880 Well, it seemed like such a, I mean, cause you're such a, I mean, you're just very different,

01:25:56.520 you know, and you, and it's hard probably to fit.

01:26:00.700 I would imagine, I couldn't imagine being you and fitting into, cause a lot of things

01:26:06.360 are very systematic.

01:26:07.300 The world we live in is just a lot of systems that work best because it facilitates all these

01:26:12.240 moving people at once.

01:26:13.960 And I think that's a good point.

01:26:15.620 There is a component of me that doesn't fit in very well to predisposed systems, whether

01:26:23.120 that be, um, any kind of, I mean, really any kind of system, whether that be like the

01:26:29.240 rules at a theme park or, you know, the school system, I had a real tough problem with that.

01:26:36.320 And the Hollywood system, I think for a long time has not really known what to do with me,

01:26:40.100 especially because I'm a self-professed comedian, not actor.

01:26:44.600 Right.

01:26:44.820 So when I left Silicon Valley, they didn't understand.

01:26:49.680 They're like, what are you doing?

01:26:50.540 And I was like, I just think this is a really funny ending to it.

01:26:53.680 If I sort of go off in this opium den.

01:26:56.040 And I think this is a good time for me to sort of end the series or end my part of the

01:27:01.560 series.

01:27:01.740 And then the series can change and grow.

01:27:03.480 And they're like, but okay, do you want to come back and do three out of 10 episodes?

01:27:07.880 Cause HBO was super cool.

01:27:09.240 They were like, do you want to come back and do three out of the eight episodes?

01:27:13.160 And I said, no, no, no.

01:27:13.840 I think it's really funny to end it just like this on this.

01:27:16.940 And this four seasons is great.

01:27:18.300 That was great.

01:27:18.840 Thank you.

01:27:19.680 And they're like, well, what about the season finale?

01:27:21.720 And I was like, no, that's okay.

01:27:23.920 And they're like, just, you're not even open to the season.

01:27:26.060 And what it was is they were like, but you're an actor and you're on a successful television

01:27:30.520 show.

01:27:30.760 This is what every actor always dreamed of.

01:27:33.560 So you, how can you walk away from that?

01:27:35.880 And it's like, cause I'm not an actor.

01:27:37.860 You know what I mean?

01:27:38.700 This wasn't my dream to be Ehrlich on Silicon Valley.

01:27:41.760 It was my dream to work with Mike Judge and make a television show that people loved or be

01:27:46.120 a part of one for sure.

01:27:47.480 But I also have made television shows like Gore burger or mashup that people have loved.

01:27:52.920 I do standup, which I really love.

01:27:55.660 And I make films that people love.

01:27:57.760 So it, I'm, I was kind of like, I don't want to.

01:28:00.480 And so that's an example of Hollywood itself being like, I don't like this guy doesn't give

01:28:05.880 a shit or is he really acting like he's good.

01:28:08.000 Is he an arrogant asshole or is he truly a nihilist?

01:28:11.980 What, what is really going on with this person?

01:28:13.940 And so I can be very confusing to those systems.

01:28:16.980 And, um, I think that's why I thrive in kind of independent projects, standup being the

01:28:24.540 most important film, being sort of a capsule that happens, it goes out and then I'm onto

01:28:29.960 the next thing.

01:28:31.340 Um, I'm not sort of on a television show for years and years and why I respect people like

01:28:37.040 you who sort of have done this, which is to create your own system and your own kind

01:28:42.840 of, and then you've thrived from that.

01:28:45.540 And then that becomes theaters, you know, and selling out clubs and stuff like that.

01:28:49.600 So that, that, and I think I'm also drawn to standup comics because they usually don't

01:28:55.180 necessarily fit in any system.

01:28:57.160 They're not willing to fall in line.

01:28:59.200 Yeah.

01:29:00.420 Yeah.

01:29:00.860 You know, I think that's something, uh, yeah, I never, I never wanted to, if something wasn't

01:29:08.900 unique, I never wanted to do it.

01:29:10.960 Or probably, and you didn't want to be a part of it necessarily.

01:29:13.780 Yeah.

01:29:13.940 I've had a tough time being a part of things sometimes because I think in nature, I never

01:29:17.220 felt a part of things.

01:29:18.320 So then why would I naturally easily, I would, it'd be tough to gravitate towards it sometimes,

01:29:24.400 you know?

01:29:25.080 Um, but you know, I think it's interesting what you're saying, man.

01:29:27.640 I mean, I think, yeah, bird does a great job of it in the sense that he does stand up.

01:29:31.160 He created an animation.

01:29:32.460 He kind of jumps into things here and there, but there's nothing that's like keeping him

01:29:36.380 in a stable and a tether constantly.

01:29:38.960 Yeah.

01:29:39.080 He's not tethered at all.

01:29:40.280 And he's pretty strongly, uh, a standup.

01:29:44.340 Yeah, he really is.

01:29:45.180 And that's been another interesting thing is to interact with people because so many

01:29:49.500 standups that I know really wanted to act, you know, I don't know how, well, you want,

01:29:53.920 you want to succeed.

01:29:56.400 And there's this, there's this thing that like, that Hollywood is the success.

01:30:01.480 There's this thing, especially even with our parents, our generation.

01:30:04.860 I mean, I think I'm a little older than you, but where they, television is it.

01:30:09.000 Like I could tour around the world doing a comedy, but they're like, Oh, if I, if I didn't

01:30:13.720 see you on an episode of everybody loves Raymond, are you doing okay?

01:30:16.900 Or what's going on?

01:30:17.520 Are you a homosexual?

01:30:18.540 Yeah.

01:30:19.620 Keep, but it is, you'll get the, in the beginning of your career, you're like, I'm headlining.

01:30:25.380 Um, what was it?

01:30:26.980 I was like, I was in a movie.

01:30:28.360 I was in Cloverfield and I was in, Oh yeah.

01:30:31.340 Cloverfield.

01:30:31.900 And then I was, I was headlining clubs.

01:30:34.460 I'd been on a television show, but it got canceled.

01:30:36.580 And I went to a family reunion and somebody was like, Hey, just keep at it.

01:30:40.380 You'll make it one day.

01:30:41.300 And I was like, what?

01:30:42.440 I already, I did it.

01:30:43.620 Yeah.

01:30:43.740 What do you want me to do?

01:30:44.380 You're going to get there.

01:30:45.220 I'm there.

01:30:46.200 Overdose.

01:30:46.600 It's currently out.

01:30:47.280 Right.

01:30:47.480 Exactly.

01:30:47.900 Overdose on sunset.

01:30:48.840 What do I need to do?

01:30:49.920 It's currently happening.

01:30:51.000 So people do think that, and I've seen standups who just wanted to, from standup to become

01:30:57.300 a television star or movie star, whatever talk show host.

01:31:01.180 And that just hasn't been my end all be all.

01:31:05.500 And I'm so happy.

01:31:06.540 I'm doing an international tour.

01:31:08.020 You can find the tickets on TJ Miller does not have a website.

01:31:11.120 Dot com.

01:31:11.760 We're announcing the tour very soon in May and June.

01:31:16.040 And I'm going all over Europe and then, and then on to like other parts of the world,

01:31:21.240 like Auckland, New Zealand and stuff like that.

01:31:22.900 Yeah.

01:31:23.080 And so that's so exciting for me and I'm almost certainly as happy, but I'm almost happier

01:31:29.320 doing that than being on the cover of a magazine because I'm on a hit television show or I'm

01:31:36.120 part of a big movie franchise or something like that.

01:31:38.880 So obviously I feel hashtag blessed for both, um, or for all of it.

01:31:45.380 Uh, but I don't really think success is in success for me in a lot of ways is, is less

01:31:51.960 in what you get and more in how much control you have.

01:31:56.100 I think you're really successful if you have control of your own life and you're not, you

01:32:03.040 know, that's why I feel bad for a lot of actors because they have to take actually, uh, after

01:32:08.200 tiger belly, um, Bobby Lee and I were talking and he just said, he said, aren't we so lucky

01:32:14.780 TJ?

01:32:15.380 And I was like, yeah.

01:32:16.680 And he's like, you know, to have comedy and I said, oh yeah, definitely.

01:32:19.540 And he goes, we're just so lucky.

01:32:21.100 We just get to tour and make money and do this thing.

01:32:24.340 And it's so fun.

01:32:25.340 I just, we're so lucky.

01:32:27.260 And he was talking about, we both were kind of talking about if you're an actor, then the

01:32:31.620 job ends and you kind of are waiting for the next job.

01:32:37.160 And he and I were talking about imagine that you would stand up this, this is never going

01:32:41.460 to stop until you want it to.

01:32:42.920 So having that control, that's to me, that success being, you know, really, really rich because

01:32:50.420 you were the guy, the one of the nerds on the big bang theory.

01:32:55.980 I don't know that that is, you didn't have a lot of say in your life during that time.

01:33:01.580 And I, I don't know how much money is that's worth to sort of relinquish that much control.

01:33:08.280 Right.

01:33:08.740 I would much prefer to not make as much.

01:33:11.580 I thought it was the other thing about Silicon Valley.

01:33:12.840 They're like, don't you want to be rich?

01:33:14.080 I mean, they didn't say that.

01:33:15.380 It is sort of like, oh, it always, it's the bottom line of all of it.

01:33:18.180 Don't you want to, don't you want to do this?

01:33:19.580 Don't you want to buy a boat?

01:33:20.280 Don't you want to be able to buy a boat and have a big house?

01:33:22.640 Don't you want to have a second wife?

01:33:24.120 Yeah.

01:33:24.320 Right.

01:33:24.740 Don't you want to have a divorce?

01:33:26.040 Yeah.

01:33:26.340 Just be able to pay the alimony.

01:33:28.300 And I, you know, I kind of was like, no, I don't want a boat.

01:33:31.280 I don't need a, I want to live in New York city.

01:33:33.600 And so we have this dope place in New York city and I don't need a pool and I don't need

01:33:38.440 a plane.

01:33:39.300 One of the guys from Silicon Valley bought a plane.

01:33:41.780 Wow.

01:33:42.280 Like what?

01:33:43.880 But I mean, he likes to fly planes and stuff, but I was like, I just want to be a comic in New

01:33:47.800 York.

01:33:48.020 That was the coolest thing to me.

01:33:49.320 It's not like having a mansion in Bel Air or something.

01:33:53.160 Is it addictive though?

01:33:54.140 Whenever you get, um, cause you've, I mean, you, I remember seeing when you did the, um,

01:34:00.700 the Yogi barrel edition, right?

01:34:01.940 Like that was the biggest thing.

01:34:03.260 And I was so jealous.

01:34:04.860 I remember seeing like, man, this guy, he just so it's for Alison Jones.

01:34:10.180 I think he did it for, was that right?

01:34:11.160 Yeah, totally.

01:34:12.140 But that, that, that go ahead.

01:34:14.100 Cause you did a special audition, right?

01:34:16.360 You did a special audition where this is what I heard.

01:34:18.120 This is just from, okay, this guy found a bear somewhere and got to go out, went and did

01:34:23.320 a special audition next to a very dangerous bear and got a really good take and submitted

01:34:28.020 the, uh, and submitted that as the audition and said, you should, I should be a part of

01:34:32.340 this.

01:34:32.680 So the truth is I went and I auditioned cause I thought it would be funny to be in Yogi

01:34:36.920 Bear 3d because it would be a funny standup credit, right?

01:34:41.680 And it would just be silly to do that.

01:34:43.660 And then I found out Anna Faris was going to be in it and I was like, oh my God, that

01:34:46.600 would be amazing.

01:34:47.600 Cause she's like one of my comedy idols.

01:34:50.020 And then, um, I went in, I did the audition with Alison Jones.

01:34:54.580 It went well.

01:34:55.740 And then I went and I bought a Ranger hat as a joke and I went in and I, um, I went in

01:35:02.660 and I was like, Hey, uh, I just wanted to let you guys know, I, I brought my own Ranger

01:35:07.720 hat and I was just wondering if I could use it.

01:35:10.300 I don't have to, but it was $19.99 and you know, I can't return it.

01:35:15.440 I can exchange it for something else, but I bought it for the audition and they were

01:35:18.480 kind of like, yeah, that's fine, man.

01:35:20.360 I was like, great.

01:35:21.400 It was so ridiculous.

01:35:22.680 So I go in there and I put the, um, I put on the hat and they say, say your name and

01:35:28.100 slate, you know, the, the poor kid in the casting assistant that's got the

01:35:32.540 camera, say your name and slate.

01:35:34.300 And my joke with that is I'm always like, uh, TJ Miller auditioning for the role of

01:35:38.560 Yogi Bear 3d.

01:35:39.580 I'm six foot three.

01:35:41.000 Uh, but when I act, I crouch.

01:35:42.840 So I'm six foot two and then they're like, okay, we're ready.

01:35:46.360 And then I go, I'm sorry.

01:35:48.540 Can I just stop you guys real quick?

01:35:49.940 And this poor casting assistant, I go, can I just ask you something?

01:35:53.540 How much, about how much headroom do I have?

01:35:56.000 Cause I'm going to be doing a lot of hat work.

01:35:57.900 So if you can give me sort of enough.

01:35:59.200 So think of it less as headroom, more hat room.

01:36:02.060 So how much hat room do I have?

01:36:03.820 And this kid's like, I mean, I don't know like about this much.

01:36:08.320 And I was like, yeah, but I can't, that's smaller to me than it is to you because you're

01:36:11.960 far away.

01:36:12.560 So just tell me when to stop.

01:36:13.840 And I was like, and he's like, he's like, no, no, stop before there.

01:36:18.200 I was like, can you get, can you give me this?

01:36:20.420 What about here?

01:36:21.820 Okay.

01:36:22.120 Cause I'm going to be doing kind of like, and kind of a, that sort of stuff.

01:36:29.540 So do I have room to do that?

01:36:30.500 And this kid's like, yeah, sure.

01:36:32.500 So I did the audition, but they're already cracking.

01:36:34.660 So now you've already got a lot of humor going before the auditions already started.

01:36:37.660 Now we've broken the eyes and gone.

01:36:40.260 So then Alison texted me actually after the audition, she was like, you know, they're,

01:36:44.360 you're their first choice.

01:36:45.460 And I think this is, you're going to get good news tomorrow.

01:36:47.640 And I was like, tell them that I want to submit supplemental materials to give them a better

01:36:52.960 idea of what I would do with the part.

01:36:54.660 She was like, I don't think you need to.

01:36:56.260 And I was like, yeah, but I have this great idea.

01:36:58.200 So then I did.

01:36:58.980 I, when I rented a bear at the Hollywood animal, I feel like, and then I made it, sent it to

01:37:06.220 them and yeah, but it was a joke.

01:37:08.580 The whole thing is, right.

01:37:09.340 I get it.

01:37:09.900 But still as a, as an, as somebody that auditions and stuff, that would feel like suck to a regular

01:37:14.540 person with a full lobe.

01:37:16.720 Yeah.

01:37:17.040 That would feel TJ.

01:37:18.440 Full lobe in it.

01:37:19.140 Yeah.

01:37:19.520 That would feel like such a, cause you're like already have like, I'm just be like,

01:37:23.740 I'm going to know another card.

01:37:25.180 I'm just three quarter lobe in it guys.

01:37:27.860 And, uh, and yeah, I wasn't full lobe in it.

01:37:30.960 No way.

01:37:31.480 And so I, uh, I sent them this audition.

01:37:35.060 Cause you got to think about it.

01:37:36.020 If I've already gotten it and then I make a funny video, like that's not going to hurt

01:37:39.540 the situation.

01:37:40.320 So I sent it and they watched it and I thought it was so funny.

01:37:44.600 And they sent it all the way up to Alan Horn, who was the head of the studio at the time.

01:37:50.540 Jewish guy or not?

01:37:51.480 He, I don't, I'm not sure.

01:37:53.060 Um, but I think I met him.

01:37:54.580 He, uh, Horn, he, he goes, yeah, he's been, I think he's the head of, he was the head of

01:38:00.040 Warner brothers.

01:38:00.660 And now he's the head of, um, he's that he's, he's involved in Disney somehow.

01:38:06.860 And he, um, he never laughs at anything and he watched this and he didn't laugh, but he

01:38:13.440 was like, we should, we should hire this kid.

01:38:15.660 He's really, really funny.

01:38:16.640 And, um, I said, well, yeah, he was, he was, he was our first choice.

01:38:20.080 So I did that movie.

01:38:21.780 Yeah.

01:38:22.180 In 2010.

01:38:23.240 And that's the film that right afterwards, my actually, while I was in the film, my brain

01:38:28.480 hemorrhaged just slightly.

01:38:30.000 Fuck yeah.

01:38:30.440 And I started to go actually insane, like clinically insane.

01:38:34.220 Cause there was just too much blood in my brain.

01:38:36.700 And then when I came back afterwards, I was in like a really crazy state.

01:38:41.200 And I, um, uh, that's when I had the seizures plural and went to the hospital and they were

01:38:48.040 like, we need to operate on your brain.

01:38:49.420 Yogi Berra 3D brings it all around full circle.

01:38:53.420 That's amazing, bro.

01:38:54.260 Now three quarter lovin' it, coast to coast and worldwide.

01:38:57.340 I love it.

01:38:59.520 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:39:05.340 I must be cornerstone.

01:39:10.680 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.

01:39:15.380 Well, I found I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time for me to set

01:39:27.620 that parking brake and let myself unwind.

01:39:31.620 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:39:41.620 Shine on me And I will find a song I will sing it just for you

01:39:53.620 And now I've been movin' way too fast On the runaway train with a heavy load of power

01:40:04.860 Shine that light

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - March 12, 2020

TJ MIller ｜ This Past Weekend #266

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript