Melanie Notkin, founder of Savvy Auntie and author of Otherhood, joins us to talk about why millennials aren t having as many kids as they used to, and why it might be time to start thinking about IVF. Plus, we talk about an article by a New York Post writer that says men are to blame for women having kids late in life.
00:01:19.000And this is resulting in now a dramatic shift in how they're setting up congressional seats.
00:01:26.000But I'm not going to talk about Congress today.
00:01:28.000We're going to just talk a whole lot about families, men, women, millennials, the workforce.
00:01:32.000It's kind of a chill Friday night talking about some of the most serious problems that are affecting this country.
00:01:37.000And we actually have someone who's probably an expert on all this.
00:01:41.000I'm just going to let you introduce yourself so you can explain it.
00:01:44.000All right, well I'm Melanie Notkin and I'm the founder of Savvy Auntie.
00:01:49.000It's the celebration of modern aunthood, a media company focused on women who don't have children of their own by choice, like me, by circumstance, by challenge, and love the children in their life.
00:02:01.000I'm also the author of a book by the same name and of a reported memoir called Otherhood.
00:02:08.000Which is about the women, Gen X, older millennials, daughters of feminism, who expected that we'd have the husband and the kids that our moms had, but also have the education and careers.
00:02:22.000And yet, we may have the education, careers, but many are finding their match much later in life, if ever, and having their first child in life much later, if ever.
00:02:48.000Before we get started, head over to TimCast.com, become a member to get access to exclusive members-only segments.
00:02:53.000If you just click this beautiful, big members-only button, you can then go to the members area after you sign up, and we have a bunch of exclusive segments, a huge library of content.
00:03:03.000We have a ton of, like, bonus full-on episodes, even.
00:03:07.000I mean, they're averaging around, like, half an hour of special content, so definitely sign up if you want to support the show.
00:03:13.000In the event we get banned, this is the place where you'll be able to find us, but we do have a bunch of new and amazing shows planned coming up in the future.
00:03:20.000It's going to be a whole lot of fun, and with your support, we'll make really awesome stuff happen.
00:03:23.000I want to jump to this first story, which, look, we're going to get into the census stuff for sure, but we're going to chill and we're going to talk about an article you wrote four years ago, Melanie.
00:03:32.000So, we have this from the New York Post.
00:03:35.000Childish men are to blame for women having kids late in life.
00:03:40.000I wonder if that made men really angry?
00:05:00.000Is it because men, by virtue of what you're saying, they conclude that men aren't focused on family and career enough, so they're calling them childish men?
00:05:10.000Was it a dude editor who was like, these men are losers?
00:05:23.000In fact, there was one that decided we needed like a Talmudic, you know, treatise on this.
00:05:29.000It was an hour-long, you know, opinion piece on how I was wrong, even though he was talking about the data that is peer research data.
00:05:39.000It did upset a lot of men and that frankly upset me because I actually love men and I love boys and I'm a champion of men and boys and I don't think that men and boys are childish but I do think that we have a problem in America whereby we are so focused on girls and women and their power and empowerment that boys and men kind of fall into the background and I think that if we want to To enable women to have all that they want, we need to raise boys and men up.
00:06:12.000You run into trouble when you start talking about this stuff because even though right now women are the majority of those graduating college, the narrative is still that they're in the minority and they're in the weaker position.
00:06:23.000Shouldn't we start getting rid of these women's programs and start propping up men's programs to encourage men to get... I'm not a fan of college, by the way, so this is not an apology or me now supporting it.
00:06:33.000But just for the general context, shouldn't these feminists be like, oh, we got to support the minority and that's the men now?
00:06:41.000You know, I don't know that you have to take anything away from girls.
00:06:44.000Girls should be able to reach their potential.
00:06:47.000The problem is that we've forgotten boys.
00:06:50.000So, yes, girls in STEM, science, technology, engineering, and math, girls have to, you know, get equity with boys, and wonderful, fine, not a problem with that.
00:06:59.000The issue is that boys are falling way behind in literacy, and we don't talk about that.
00:07:05.000By age six, boys don't want to read with their mommy anymore because they think it's too girly.
00:07:10.000And they don't want to read with the family anymore because it's just not something that they want to do.
00:07:16.000And we tend to, again, focus on girls in STEM.
00:08:47.000You know, but then they get in trouble, and then they don't go back to class.
00:08:52.000We've shrunk in recess, so boys aren't moving around when they have the chance to move around.
00:08:57.000You know, some kids, even girls who have, you know, some form of ADD, they need to move in order to learn, but we don't want kids to do that.
00:09:19.000The way we do it is to consider how they learn and we need to decide that boys have great potential.
00:09:29.000And if we believe in boys, boys will begin to believe in themselves.
00:09:33.000And if boys believe in themselves, they will then go to high school and if they graduate high school, if they graduate high school, they may go to college if they want to.
00:09:41.000And continue whatever it is that they want to do or not go to college, whatever it is.
00:11:16.000In fact, it's true, I believe, that femininity is the one thing that can bring a man to his knees.
00:11:23.000I've often mentioned that I think feminism in today's day and age is actually anti-femininity and pro-masculinity.
00:11:30.000They like to go after what they call toxic masculinity, but the way I break it down is we often hear about, like, women must be CEOs.
00:11:38.000You know, we need more women doing that job and that job.
00:11:41.000And while there are conversations about having men stay at home with the kids, there's not a big demand for it the same way.
00:11:48.000So I just, when did this happen where the role of the maternal role just became irrelevant to society?
00:11:58.000And I don't mean completely, but to a greater deal, where now it's like, no, no, no, no, the moms and the dads should be in the workforce and, you know, I don't know, have childcare.
00:12:06.000We should now, what's really fascinating to me is they advocate for like government paid healthcare, or I'm sorry, childcare, guaranteed childcare.
00:12:13.000And it's like, shouldn't the parents have some system where they take care of their kids?
00:12:17.000Instead, it's the maternal role is being shoved down and women and men should both be in the workforce.
00:12:43.000I'm not an economist, and so I don't know that I can speak to it, but it could be, and I've thought about that myself.
00:12:50.000It's true that this idea that we don't have enough women CEOs, higher management, etc., basically doesn't answer the question of whether or not women want that.
00:13:03.000And it's not to say that women don't want to reach their potential, but their potential isn't necessarily in the office. And we've created this narrative that women
00:13:13.000have to keep fighting, you know, in the glass ceiling and all this. Not
00:13:55.000I think also they're not as worried because they've got all the time in the world as far as they're concerned.
00:14:02.000So if a woman is doing well in her career and she wants to then have a family and have the husband work, She's got to contend with the fact that there's probably not, it's going to be hard to find a guy for a few reasons.
00:14:14.000One, who's making enough money to support the family should she choose to opt out.
00:14:17.000Who's going to be interested in a woman who has a career even.
00:14:20.000Maybe the guy just wants somebody, he wants a wife from the get-go.
00:14:24.000You also have the issue, we have, our friend Jack Murphy comes on the show quite a bit.
00:14:29.000And he talks about how he thinks guys should go for women 10 years younger than them, who don't do any of this, get someone who's 22, marry her and just get a housewife, don't worry about someone who's got a career.
00:14:39.000So if you have that mentality, how does a career woman then, you know, have what you're describing?
00:14:44.000So, actually, Maureen Dowd wrote about this in an op-ed in the New York Times in 2005, how what men really want is their mother, and I agree.
00:14:54.000And the problem is that this generation were not their mother.
00:14:58.000Gen X was able to do things that our mothers couldn't do.
00:15:02.000When, you know, women who graduated high school in the 50s, you know, if you look at their yearbook, you know, what they were going to be was teacher, nurse, nun, secretary.
00:15:30.000There's no reason why we shouldn't go to college.
00:15:32.000No reason why we shouldn't pay the rent.
00:15:33.000And then in terms of this career woman thing, there are no career men.
00:15:37.000Nobody accuses a man of prioritizing having a job over everything else in his life.
00:15:44.000I mean, I always wanted to marry and have children very much, so if I didn't have a career, I mean, you'd basically be, you know, paying my way through life as a taxpayer, right?
00:16:05.000So, men do want their mother, and we're not their mothers, which isn't to say that women aren't nurturing, women don't want to do this, that women don't want to nurture and take care of their husbands and take care of their partners.
00:16:22.000They also, though, want to know that if they're going to go through childbirth, which can be fatal, That there's a man there who's going to be there, and certainly if God forbid she didn't survive, be there for the child, be able to pay for the child.
00:16:40.000And I mean this in an evolutionary way.
00:16:43.000She may not be thinking this literally.
00:16:48.000And this is why we have so many women who are the new, just newly released data, a woman is, the average age of marriage for a woman is 27.
00:17:10.000It doesn't mean what I think a lot of the feminists thought it meant, like the government would come and like force women to marry some incel dude or something like that.
00:17:18.000But you're talking about, you know, women want to be secure.
00:17:21.000They want to know that if they're going to have a kid, they're going to be protected or safe or have someone to take care of them.
00:18:14.000So there's another article from the New York Post, which I've talked about quite a bit, and it always gets me in a lot of trouble with the feminists.
00:18:21.000Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do.
00:18:25.000And look, when we have Jack Murphy on the show, and we had a long conversation about this, where he was saying that if you're a guy and you're successful, why would you find a woman your own age, when you could have someone 10, 15 years younger?
00:18:37.000So you're 35, you go for a 22-year-old, Dedicated housewife doesn't have a career and for you know,
00:18:44.000I guess I don't put words in his mouth but a lot the idea to a lot of these guys is that a
00:18:48.000Younger woman who can get an older man who's accomplished successful has a lot of money
00:18:53.000It's I mean, it's a big leap in access to resources and societal status when you've got a guy who's not wished well-connected
00:19:01.000So if you have a woman who's a 30 or in her 30s and she's working and you know a job
00:19:07.000She's making maybe sixty five seventy thousand dollars a year working at a publication in New York City
00:19:14.000A guy who's the same age who's making that much money could probably easily get a much, much younger woman because that's a lot of money to a younger person, which I imagine must make it more difficult for women.
00:19:33.000And so I'm looking toward Gen Z and whatever that we're going to call the next generation is that if we don't want that to happen, we don't want to keep women back.
00:19:41.000It's not like we want to keep girls and women back from reaching their potential and contributing to the world.
00:19:46.000What we want to do is help raise boys and men to reach their potential.
00:19:52.000You mentioned femininity earlier and how it's one of the things that can bring men to their knees.
00:21:02.000And in cities, the only predators are other humans.
00:21:05.000So there's still a need for some protection, but also access to resources is important.
00:21:10.000Now everything's kind of changing, especially with, you know, maternity laws.
00:21:16.000You know, so women get pregnant, they can keep working, and now a lot of companies are like, even if once someone gets pregnant, she can go home, she can stay home, and we'll still keep paying her.
00:21:24.000So I think that also, we keep moving this direction, we're going to keep removing the need for marriage, which is going to slowly eat away at families having children to result in slow population growth.
00:21:38.000Seems like it's just dominoes falling over.
00:21:40.000Well, in fact, there is a rise in people living together, couples living together and not getting married.
00:21:47.000And I don't have the, I haven't dug in too deeply into it, but my hypothesis is, again it's a buyer's market for men, that a woman who really wants a baby with a partner And he won't commit.
00:22:04.000She will acquiesce to saying, yeah, no, we're just, we're going to live together because, like, it's cool.
00:23:11.000And what they're doing is they are listening to this narrative that in order to be equal to men, They have to be men and that happens even when it comes to sex with 22 year olds.
00:23:23.000It reminds me of similar things to what Jordan Peterson talks about.
00:24:26.000There was a case, I think this was in Illinois, where a man and a woman were getting divorced, and it was partly because of the woman's, I think it was a drug addiction.
00:24:35.000It's been a long time since I've read the story.
00:24:38.000The court sided with the mother, who was a known drug addict, because courts have a bias towards the woman, and then she killed her kids.
00:24:48.000And so the dad, who was a regular working class guy, begged the court, this woman has been arrested before, she does drugs, it's dangerous.
00:24:55.000And they said, we can't take a kid away from their mother.
00:24:58.000And then she ended up killing them because she didn't want them to have him and then taking her own life like overdosing.
00:25:03.000So when you hear these stories all the time, when you constantly hear about how divorce courts, what is it, like 84% of the time favor the woman?
00:25:09.000What's the incentive for a man to marry a woman If all it means for him is that he can lose half of his life and still lose his kids in the long run, why do it?
00:25:25.000I've certainly dated divorced men and I've heard chilling stories.
00:25:31.000My friend, Greg Ellis, his book is coming out Father's Day or that week called The Respondent, and it is about his hellish experience of being divorced or getting or his wife springing.
00:26:34.000But I think that the reason why men marry women is because they love them.
00:26:39.000Which doesn't mean that things don't happen and that, you know, people don't change or circumstances, what have you, right?
00:26:47.000For whatever reason people get divorced.
00:26:48.000But I believe in love and I believe that a man is better with a partner and a woman is better with a partner and whether that could be the same sex.
00:26:57.000The idea is that we are better when we have a strong existential, spiritual, emotional, mental connection with somebody.
00:27:06.000We do better in life and marriage is a strong partnership to do that.
00:27:11.000Now I have not married, not because I didn't want to, I very much I still want to, but I never wanted to marry a man I wasn't in love with because every man deserves to be loved and I didn't want to be in a relationship where I didn't feel loved.
00:27:27.000I wonder though, I was reading this a while ago, but I was also reading it recently, that love and marriage is a modern construct.
00:27:37.000That marriages used to be contractual, more corporate than anything.
00:27:41.000You had the dowry, and it was basically...
00:27:44.000Well, you know, marriages are arranged for this or that reason and less so, you know, in our culture and going back to the various cultures that make up the United States.
00:27:53.000But if you look at a lot of Eastern culture, arranged marriage very much still exists because it was transactional.
00:29:48.000I mean, I have a cousin who's, you know, been co-CEO of a Fortune 500 company and her husband worked but not Anywhere near to that level.
00:29:57.000It's not like it doesn't happen that, you know, women can be more successful in terms of affluence, income, but for the most part, you know, women want to know that the man that they're with will also enable them to reach their potential as he, as she would do for him, not only in terms of a job and career, but also in terms of family, in terms of whatever else that they want to do.
00:30:21.000I think that's the, I think there's an incongruity, there's an impasse.
00:30:26.000You've got, I think, a lot of men who want just a wife.
00:30:32.000Like you mentioned, they want their moms.
00:31:44.000In fact, a great way to turn men on is to ask him to help you.
00:31:48.000I kind of feel like a lot of this has to do with, at some point there was a fracture in our society that resulted in two different factions, I guess, right?
00:31:58.000We have the culture war today, a lot of people trying to figure out if it's left versus right, nationalist versus globalist, or authoritarian, whatever.
00:32:05.000And when I hear stories like this, as a guy, you never know what ideology the woman holds.
00:32:13.000And so are you even allowed to make a move on the woman as it is?
00:32:16.000So you mentioned the guys want to court you.
00:32:18.000Well, if you go to like a sports pub, you're probably going to bump into a guy who knows nothing about critical theory and feminism, and they'll probably start hitting on you.
00:32:26.000If you're in a big city, though, and you go to like a hipster bar, the guys won't go anywhere near you because you're not allowed to.
00:32:54.000If that's the message we're getting from mainstream media, then what guy is going to risk his reputation, his career, and then, even if he does get married, get divorced at some point, and then just lose everything and his kids?
00:33:06.000Society is currently being set up in a way that is telling men to do everything they can not to get married, and they're happy.
00:33:18.000And in the long term, the purpose of our society, but I think this is just another factor that's resulting in the collapse of American culture and Western culture over... I don't know what it is.
00:33:31.000I don't want to say it's that we have too much freedom or anything like that, that we can choose to just Self-gratify, right?
00:33:39.000We're a wealthy, successful country, so we can play video games all day, we can drink Mountain Dew and eat Taco Bell and not have to worry about a thing.
00:33:46.000I don't think that it's our choice, our ability to do these things.
00:33:50.000I think it's the pressures of... Man, I go back to what we were mentioning earlier with doubling the workforce in a short amount of time.
00:34:02.000As soon as people were like, you know, we should have women in the workplace if they so choose, it became part of a movement that they should be in the workplace.
00:34:10.000All of a sudden, then, you double the workforce without increasing demand, and everyone's competing and wages are dropping.
00:34:17.000Then they say, okay, we gotta have a minimum wage to guarantee it, but there's still not enough jobs, so then some people don't have jobs.
00:34:22.000Once that happens and everyone's wages are depressed, there's a lot of other factors as to why that happens.
00:34:27.000You have all of these factors building up over decades that result in a generation of people who are not compatible in terms of long-term relationships and families.
00:34:39.000No, it's depressing and it's sad, and I think that we are too focused on the narratives of how to be a woman means, you know, to be President of the United States, to be Vice President of the United States, to be the top echelon of everything.
00:34:57.000And, I mean, all the power to every woman, and I certainly strive in my own career, my own life, to be the To reach my potential, and I'm so grateful to live in a country that enables me to do that.
00:35:12.000But the truth is different than the narrative, and the truth is that most women become mothers.
00:35:20.000Most women want to be mothers, which isn't to say that there aren't women who are child-free by choice, and they honor and champion the choice.
00:35:29.000Everybody should do what they need and want to do.
00:35:32.000The issue is that men are feeling, and I hear what you're saying, why should I get off the couch?
00:35:40.000And because she likes me and wants my attention, she'll sext back so I don't even need to take her out on a date.
00:35:48.000Right, and if I take her out on a date, I mean, she's gonna make me feel like I'm not a man because she's gonna, like, not let me participate in... I don't think that's an issue.
00:35:59.000I mean, maybe it depends on generation, you know, so maybe older guys really want that.
00:36:06.000Me, personally, I've never really cared much for if a woman was like, I want this, I want that, whatever, I don't care.
00:36:12.000Right, so what women want, so modern women want old-fashioned romance.
00:36:19.000Now many feminists will say no, that's not true, but that's really what women want and partly because they are working so hard.
00:36:29.000They are working hard in their career, those who have careers, right?
00:36:33.000They're working hard there, but also They are nurturers so they're working on their friendships and their girlfriends that call them upset.
00:36:43.000They're working to make sure their parents are okay, that their siblings are okay, their neighbors are okay.
00:36:49.000They do a lot because of their own innate sense of taking care of people and taking care of the children in their life, etc.
00:36:57.000And they want to know when they're with a guy that all he has to do is just say, meet me at this restaurant at 7 p.m.
00:37:08.000That, that is like such a thing that women want.
00:37:21.000It starts to sound to me like feminism is one of the worst possible things for women in the long run, and one of the best possible things for guys in the long run, from a very, like... What's the right way?
00:37:33.000From a sort of mathematical perspective.
00:37:35.000So, guys used to have to work really hard.
00:37:39.000Backbreaking labor, you know, wiping the sweat off their brow, covered in dirt, going down to the coal mines.
00:37:45.000Now they've got women working to support themselves so the guys don't have to worry about it anymore.
00:37:51.000Women are not making the same demands of men in terms of sexual relationships.
00:37:56.000It's just go on Tinder and the guy doesn't have to worry about it.
00:38:12.000Women are working, they're worried about how much time they have in order to have a family, they're stressing about how to find the right guy, and guys are just sitting there swiping on Tinder while they're watching, you know, porn.
00:38:24.000Yeah, so they're swiping on Tinder and watching porn at the same time.
00:38:30.000And they're like, what am I worried about?
00:38:33.000I've got friends, you know, I grew up skateboarding, and all of these guys Don't care about anything.
00:38:39.000They will work a minimum wage job if it means that you can have ten people in a two-bedroom apartment so they can work only a couple days, it's a hundred bucks a month for rent, and they can skate the rest of the day.
00:39:00.000But not by plan, you know what I mean?
00:39:03.000And then everyone else who kind of planned and worked and went to college, they're sitting back with their feet up, making tons of money, they have careers, and they're not worried at all.
00:39:10.000And you talk to them and they're like, eh, I don't know, you know, when I'm 40 maybe I'll find a 25-year-old.
00:40:09.000There's also a lot of men who are depressed, a lot of men who, you know, unfortunately commit suicide, a lot of men who are overdosing, who are aimless, and they're getting older, and they don't know how to get out of it.
00:40:22.000And I'm hoping one of the silver linings of COVID is That many were forced to be alone.
00:41:18.000Once they reached a certain level of crowding and population, weird things started happening in their rat society.
00:41:25.000I wonder if humans have reached a point like that, and I think that's why people bring it up, to where maybe the reason we're not having families anymore is because we got a ton of people on the planet as it is.
00:41:35.000Especially psychologically with social media.
00:41:37.000In the early days, I was like, oh, Facebook, good.
00:41:39.000I'm going to get all my friends on Facebook, and then I'll be able to message everybody at once, and then I can throw a big party where I have everyone to my house.
00:41:46.000And then all of a sudden, I had like 170 people, 300 people, and I didn't talk to any of them.
00:42:19.000Maybe it's just a natural state of life where you find this equilibrium point where you just don't need to have kids, so there's no real drive to do it.
00:42:29.000No woman goes through childbirth because she needs it.
00:42:36.000Because she's literally putting her life in danger.
00:42:41.000Women have an existential, in her body, everything, not all women, most women, to have a child.
00:42:53.000Do you think every month, We have a violent reminder of our evolutionary, you know, role.
00:43:02.000And it's not the patriarchy that created menstruation, right?
00:43:48.000I mean, yeah, I guess you'd be frowned upon in any capacity.
00:43:50.000The old trope was that the guy would be chased out of the farmhouse by the dad with the shotgun, you know, who was sleeping with the farmer's daughter or whatever.
00:44:13.000Back in the old days, like I'm thinking of Zeus, you know, these ancient, where he had like 40 kids, and then he had kids with his kids, and like, because they needed to populate, they were like recovering from a flood.
00:44:32.000Maybe it was real, maybe it wasn't, but I think that behavior wasn't so taboo as it is today, and where So whereas women have the burning desire to have children, men have the burning desire to have, to spread their seed.
00:44:43.000And we've had to kind of culturally subdue that because it doesn't mix with modern day, you know, society.
00:44:50.000Like too many kids without fathers would be very bad for society.
00:44:55.000Kids who are born with, who don't have a father, father figure in the household are more likely to be poor, more likely not to graduate high school, more likely to end up in jail.
00:45:05.000So, men have a very important role in society, and again, it just keeps, you've asked, you know, well, what can we do?
00:45:12.000And unfortunately, you know, it's too late for the millennial and Gen X generations to change that, although certainly men can stand up and do better.
00:45:27.000And even if you're not a father, if you're an uncle or if you're a friend of the family, you could be there for a boy and you can help raise that boy.
00:45:34.000That is such a gift to that boy because that boy will grow up to reach his potential if he has that.
00:45:41.000But unfortunately, we have kids who aren't growing up without dads and it just keeps going around and around the same circle.
00:45:55.000Look, again, women generally want to be moms.
00:46:15.000And I agree with you that a guy who's, you know, her equal in terms of, you know, career, income, what have you, He, you know, she's 35, he's 35, he can easily marry a 25-year-old.
00:46:32.000So it is, but it's devastating to those women.
00:46:35.000The level of, I mean, I've, I have grieved not having children.
00:46:40.000I'm, I'm beyond hope of having children.
00:46:44.000And so I've moved on from that, but certainly, I mean, and it's, and it's elongated now because it used to be that a woman, you know, hit a certain age, 40 plus or minus, she was no longer fertile, couldn't have children.
00:47:18.000I'm, again, a champion of boys and I think we need to go back and look at education, how we are educating boys, how we're making sure that they have male role models, how we're letting them play, encouraging them to play, all of those things, right?
00:47:31.000I think that we also, on the men's side, need to be a little bit more sympathetic to women.
00:47:37.000They're not desperate because they really want to go out with you again because they like you.
00:47:41.000They're not desperate because they want to have a baby in their 36.
00:47:45.000They're women, and they want to be moms, and that's perfectly normal, and it doesn't make them weak.
00:47:50.000It makes them strong to be able to admit that that's what they want.
00:47:53.000And if you're a guy who's going to lead a woman on, and just because, you know, you don't really want, I don't know, well, maybe we'll try, well, maybe next year, well, when I get a raise, you know what?
00:48:03.000Her fertility doesn't have time for your excuses.
00:48:06.000So if you love her, or if you don't love her, let her go, or get married, and be a man.
00:48:14.000So there's a, I guess it's a stereotype, maybe there's actual data behind this, I've not read it, that men tend to be goal-oriented and women tend to be social-oriented.
00:48:23.000So a guy derives his joy from accomplishing something that dopamine hit, whereas women from social acceptance.
00:48:30.000And I don't know if that's true, but it does kind of play into the story about how young women are becoming depressed because of social media.
00:48:36.000They go on Instagram, they take a selfie, they post it, it doesn't get enough likes, they delete it right away.
00:48:42.000And it does affect guys, but not as much.
00:49:02.000So I even know female journalists and it's the weirdest thing to me where they're like on the ground in the Middle East and they're taking a selfie of themselves with like the thing in the background and I'm like...
00:49:19.000So I wonder if that also plays a very serious role in that the reason women are hyper-focusing on work is because society, because of what would be deemed acceptable.
00:49:30.000And this is stemming from when you look at news media and cultural media, the women who are working these jobs are mostly career women, not all of them.
00:49:41.000And then you end up with a tendency to only get the positive social message from women who are not married, who are working careers, then telling younger women, this is the right way to do it, this is what's great.
00:49:55.000And because of the social pressure, they do, and that's perpetuating this cycle.
00:50:28.000Well, what's stopping them from having a relationship then?
00:50:32.000So my mom actually asked me this because she and I were talking about millennial women and why they don't really appear to want to get married and or have kids.
00:52:07.000We want, if it's not literal DNA, then maybe it's some sort of intellectual DNA.
00:52:11.000There's something we can leave behind.
00:52:14.000And so that's why women have careers because they need to be able to pay the rent, etc.
00:52:20.000And by the way, if they do meet a guy, he's divorced because the 22-year-old he married really wasn't exactly what he needed because she was much more interested in her body and her selfies than in him and in helping him be the best he can be.
00:52:37.000And he then finds this 40-year-old woman Who's amazing because they're the same age and actually share the same conversations, intellect, experience, etc.
00:52:46.000And he's, well, OK, well, we'll have a kid together.
00:52:49.000OK, but where was she going to get the money for the IVF or for the eggs that she froze?
00:52:57.000And part of it is it gives her a safety net for her fertility.
00:53:00.000It seems like a tsunami, I guess, or it's like, because every single woman and man are engaging in these certain behaviors, it's created a situation where no one person, an avalanche is a better word for it, no one snowflake can now break away.
00:53:16.000If the system were that, you know, like it was way back in the day where women would just, you know, they're in high school and they're like thinking about the guy they want to marry or whatever and then they got out of high school and then sought to get married and the guy took care of everything, I think that Yeah.
00:53:32.000the avalanche started, you know, for a lot of reasons.
00:53:36.000I think it's great that women, you know, civil rights expanded, women are in the workplace,
00:53:54.000Whereas back in the day, it was difficult for women to work.
00:53:57.000So the pendulum was on one side, it should have been in the place where everyone could choose to work if they want to, but now it's, you have to work, sorry.
00:54:05.000And because of that, it's creating pressures that make it very difficult to actually have a family.
00:54:09.000And it's making it very difficult for people to afford to have a family because...
00:54:13.000Well, you can't just walk into the woods with an axe anymore and build a log cabin and have your kids.
00:54:18.000Now everything's under control by government regulation.
00:54:22.000So there's no getting on a boat and go finding a place where, you know, back in the day, and I mean like hundreds of years ago, a dude would walk over and like stick a piece of wood in the ground and be like, mine.
00:54:31.000And then have a kid and be like, we're gonna live here.
00:56:57.000Everything, I would say all of the expansion, what people need to realize is that none of this would not be possible without Allison, who is my girlfriend.
00:57:56.000And to have found a woman who loves you, and just by her very being and loving you, enables you to be twice the guy you are.
00:58:10.000That doesn't come across very, that doesn't happen often.
00:58:13.000You're very lucky and she's very lucky that you understand that and that you see that in her and I'm sure that how all the ways that she helps you and and and your life is like twice the life or more.
00:58:28.000Her life is twice the life or more by being able to give you that.
00:59:20.000I'm not just saying you specifically in this situation, but like when you're in the right situation, you end up doing like What your old 100% was is now 10% of the new system, which is now 1000% of what you were capable of before.
00:59:35.000You know, there's this thing when a Jewish couple, a more traditional Jewish couple gets married, the bride walks around her groom seven times because that's the number of days it took to create the world.
00:59:50.000She's helping him create his world and she is his world and he is her world.
01:01:41.000But when we're talking about younger people, especially assuming they want children, marriage, especially for the woman, feels much more secure.
01:01:58.000I think that marriage is something that can create tremendous value for the couple and that commitment, and it is a risky commitment, but commitment is something very powerful.
01:02:12.000It feels like our society's in a weird hybrid state between traditional, hierarchical, I guess essentialist and constructivist, whereas the woke left are constructivist.
01:02:50.000You can't have some people believing some of these things and some people believing some of these other things.
01:02:55.000And because of that, we have a legal structure that disincentivizes the traditional, and it's moving more and more every generation towards the more constructivist.
01:03:06.000I say constructivist view as opposed to the essentialist.
01:03:11.000For whatever reason, that keeps happening, and it's likely to move in that direction.
01:03:25.000But I don't think that's because they're having an awakening or Gen Z realized something was wrong or anything like that, or they're rebelling.
01:03:32.000I think it's because conservatives in the previous generation were just more likely to have kids.
01:03:37.000So it's not that Gen Z are becoming or, you know, are ideologically more conservative.
01:03:42.000There's just more conservative Gen Z ever so slightly.
01:03:52.000And even then, they're still more progressive than their parents and very much as progressive as millennials, only to a slightly lesser degree.
01:04:02.000So you so if that's the case then it seems like we're gonna continually move towards a future where in two or three
01:04:08.000generations it's going to be a bunch of
01:04:11.000gender neutral shaved heads blue jumpsuits No marriage, you know babies born in pods eat the bugs
01:04:20.000I hope not Seems like that's where we're going.
01:04:25.000I mean, I think that's the AOC, you know, people shouldn't have children in the environment.
01:04:32.000And I mean, this is not, no, I, again, There's something about the human condition that makes us want to find a partner and have children with that partner.
01:04:44.000Again, not everybody, not judging anybody, but for the most part, and we know this to be true because for the most part it happens.
01:04:51.000So while a woman is marrying later than ever, and she's having her first child later than ever, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want those children.
01:05:02.000In fact, The fact that a woman has a child in her late 30s, even early 40s, proves that she's waiting for love.
01:05:13.000You know what's really interesting about this?
01:05:15.000Women having children later and later.
01:05:18.000The biological clock of a woman, it's not identical for every single woman.
01:05:23.000And so a society that is telling women to wait, or at least there's pressures to make them wait, I wonder what the effect on future generations will be based on these pressures in terms of selection.
01:05:35.000If you have a woman, if the average woman can't have kids past say 40 or whatever the age number is, And then, you know, and that's based on a society where women are having kids when they're 20 or 22 or even younger, maybe 18.
01:05:48.000Then you start telling women, have kids when you're 40.
01:05:51.000What happens is, the women who can do, and the women who can't don't.
01:06:27.000Well, so what I mean is, if there are 100 women, and based on all of these women in the previous generations, the average age at which they, you know, it's like, here's your lat, 39.
01:06:37.000If you don't have a kid by 39, you're probably not gonna have kids.
01:06:42.000By telling all these women to wait, I wonder if what would happen is that, say half of the women, as soon as they hit 40, fail to have kids.
01:06:54.000Which means the children of those women are also more likely to be able to have kids around the same age because they share similar genetics.
01:07:01.000No, it's not because it's not genetics.
01:07:03.000Meaning... First of all, because she's getting part of her genes from her dad as well.
01:07:45.000And we were discussing earlier, they're having trouble finding a man because a man has a choice to marry a woman who isn't college-educated and or is college-educated.
01:07:57.000Whatever reason, he can marry somebody.
01:07:59.000He has many more choices when it comes to women, plus there are many more college-educated women who want college-educated men, etc.
01:08:19.000It used to be that women had several pressures to have kids at a younger age and get married, you know, just before turning 20 or whatever.
01:08:24.000Well, there isn't any societal pressure.
01:08:37.000Women, you know, Women, especially Gen X and older millennials, sort of understood that, well, if so-and-so, this celebrity, had a baby at 45, had twins, I could do that.
01:08:53.000But, of course, it could be donor eggs.
01:11:32.000And your dog is like a little soldier, like, yes sir!
01:11:34.000And like, you know, he runs and like, you know, protects the family and stuff.
01:11:38.000I've heard in otherhood, and I'm forgetting what the number is, but something like there, you know, I heard that there were 19 ways to smile and I'm afraid I'll never know all of them because I've never smiled at him.
01:12:08.000But the type of love you're talking about, Tim, the type of love that enables you to be all you can be.
01:12:15.000Is the best kind of love of all and I hope everybody watching and listening to this finds that love or has that love and cherishes that love.
01:12:24.000Is that like when you have all the loves together and like all seven loves you experience with one person and people want that?
01:12:29.000Like I don't want to settle for anything less than that.
01:12:31.000And then you can snap your fingers and wipe out half of all life in the universe?
01:12:34.000Yeah, you've gained all the love gems.
01:14:56.000So I Sort of cringe watched it, but I watched it and sort of like, because I want to understand all this culture and this, you know, millennial group and, you know, her whole line was, you know, she was the voice of the generation.
01:15:09.000So the last scene of season two, sorry if I'm going to ruin for you, it's only eight years old or whatever.
01:15:14.000She's going through some sort of mental breakdown, legit.
01:15:19.000And she and her ex-boyfriend, on it, gone, on again, off again, Adam Driver character is her guy, and she texts him something.
01:15:31.000And you see him jump up, run down the stairs, they're in Brooklyn, New York, down the stairs, down the subway, back up the subway, around the block, running, running, I mean, this whole thing, right?
01:15:41.000And he runs up the stairs somehow, I don't forget how he gets into her apartment, picks her up in his arms.
01:15:50.000If that's not Prince Charming, I don't know what is.
01:15:53.000Yeah, but you know, these movies and shows where, like, take a look at, like, your trope of romantic comedy.
01:16:00.000The guy, like, goes to the woman's house or, like, plays the boombox outside of her window, that guy's gonna get arrested real quick.
01:16:06.000Like, these romantic comedies, a guy who does that goes to jail, and he's called creepy.
01:16:12.000There was a video that, like, I mentioned the 10 hours of walking through New York as a woman thing, where, like, one guy's like, how's it going?
01:16:20.000There's a viral video right now where, like, a young girl is sitting at a table streaming, and a guy just, like, tries talking to her, and it's really awkward.
01:16:28.000And everyone's acting like it was the apocalypse, like this guy was a creep, and I'm like, dude, it's just some awkward guy.
01:16:34.000The girl was a little young, man, that guy probably shouldn't have done that, and that is an issue.
01:16:38.000But I was thinking, just like, there's a big stigma around literally talking to a woman in public, period.
01:16:44.000So, how was there supposed to be some romantic... I guess, you know, Mad Magazine said it best.
01:16:49.000Mad Magazine, a long time ago... Have you guys ever read A Mad Look At?
01:16:53.000I don't even know if Mad Magazine still exists.
01:17:04.000The first panel was like this tall chiseled man with a suit and a beautiful woman and she's got her leg up as he's leaning into her and kissing her and everyone around is going like, aww.
01:17:16.000The next one was the same thing, but a morbidly obese bald man and a big fat woman and everyone was angry and, you know, kind of pissed off.
01:17:23.000So the fact of the matter is, and this is an obvious trope that exists on the internet and especially in the incel forums, If you're a weird-looking guy, or you're short and scraggly with a weird voice, you can't say these things to women.
01:17:39.000But a tall, chiseled, handsome man, tall, dark, and handsome, well, he can walk up to a woman and he can say a lot of things.
01:18:16.000I would have, along those lines, you were talking about that text and that fantasy show.
01:18:21.000Don't, if you're anybody, boy or girl, and you want to, you want to communicate love to someone, don't do it through text.
01:18:29.000Maybe send a sentence here and there, but it's in the delivery.
01:18:33.000Like you just said, if you want to express your love to someone, do it with your vibration, with your words, with your, the sound of your, you know.
01:18:40.000I would agree with you, Ian, but I do think that sometimes text can be appropriate.
01:18:45.000Like maybe you send like an eggplant emoji and then the water droplets and then the peach emoji.
01:18:57.000I don't know if kids, if younger culture understands because of the text, social media text culture, but it is not the way to communicate emotions in my opinion.
01:19:34.000So what do you think about these dating apps?
01:19:36.000Because one of the things I've brought up before is that when women were in, you know, before dating apps, before websites for dating, a man and a woman in college together, their dating pool was the same dating pool for the most part.
01:19:49.00020-year-old woman has the same social circle as a 20-year-old man.
01:19:53.000So the likelihood of her dating someone within her age range and at the college is high.
01:19:58.000With dating apps, the likelihood that she's now going to pull up an app and find a 35-year-old guy who's got a convertible in an infinity pool infinitely higher.
01:20:07.000It's not that the woman doesn't like the guy at her school.
01:20:11.000It's just that she gets two text messages.
01:20:13.000One's the 20-year-old guy who's in her class and says, hey, we're going to go sit in the train tracks and like drink 40s.
01:20:19.000And then the other message she gets is from the guy who's like, hey, I'm going to take the convertible down for a spin and go to the beach and look at the stars.
01:22:03.000No, sure, the landmines are there for everybody.
01:22:06.000We're all afraid of something we're gonna say, something we're gonna tweet, something we're gonna write, something we're gonna say on your podcast, your YouTube show.
01:22:15.000But we've got to take risks in life because we don't move forward without taking risks.
01:22:21.000And in fact, risk-taking men are attractive to women.
01:22:37.000No woman, not every woman is going to be attracted to every man.
01:22:40.000I mean, a man can come to me at a party and kind of say he's interested and I kind of, I don't, find him a, you know, whatever, he's not for me.
01:22:47.000I'm not going to be rude to him, but it doesn't mean I have to date him.
01:22:53.000I could do the same thing to a guy where I'm not necessarily going up to him, hey dude, But you know, that flirtation, you start talking and then I could sort of see he's looking over my shoulder, which is not so hard because I'm little, and just not be interested in me.
01:23:07.000And that'll hurt my ego for a second and then I'll move on.
01:23:13.000And when you take those risks, you're going to end up with probably a woman that you really want to be with because that's the woman you were waiting for and you risked a lot for and you got rejected for a lot.
01:23:24.000You know, people, well, why do these guys, like, they're not cute or whatever it is.
01:23:28.000They always like, you know, hit on the women.
01:23:30.000Well, yeah, because they're used to rejection.
01:23:33.000The good looking guy, you know, with everything going for him, he's rarely rejected.
01:23:38.000So when he sees a woman he really likes, he's too shy to go up to her because he doesn't want to feel rejected because he's not used to that.
01:23:45.000There's another, I guess you'd call it a trope, that attractive women are less likely to actually get hit on randomly because guys will assume they don't have a chance, so they won't bother, and they'll go for women who are lower in the ranking in their minds, like less attractive.
01:24:00.000They'll see a woman, they're like, wow, she's a nine.
01:24:44.000I went through when I was kind of going through that phase where I stopped talking to really hot girls, not stop talking to them, but I wouldn't hit on them or like try and get together with them because I thought they probably get hit on all the time.
01:24:55.000So I don't want to be one of those guys.
01:24:57.000So I would just completely, and it'd be girls I really was attracted to, but I wouldn't.
01:25:01.000Cause I was like, I'm not going to contribute to that toxic masculine.
01:25:10.000I've had two guys in my life who I really liked who, like, you know, five, ten, whatever years later, you know, like, I really liked you, but I was just a little too, I just didn't, I didn't ask you out or what?
01:25:24.000And I was just dying for them to ask me out.
01:28:42.000You know, in general, Millennials and Gen Z are not having, certainly Gen Z, they're not having sex as much as Gen X. And I don't, not referring about me because I wasn't either, but in general, they're not having a lot of sex, partly because they are just on the apps or they're too lazy to actually get off the couch instead of sex, actually have real sex.
01:29:21.000Women, as much as women talk about that, you know, they want to have sex like men, they just oh, they're going to they're just going to hook up the hookup thing.
01:29:29.000Truth is, women don't really want to have sex like that.
01:29:36.000to you know for a guy just get out of bed okay well thanks women have all these chemicals that
01:29:42.000are floating around that make them feel sort of depressed afterward if they don't feel that
01:29:46.000connection long lasting way so it could be actually that they're projecting but whatever
01:29:52.000it is it just seems like they um they're talking about the things that they want most and that
01:30:01.000fear is stopping them from getting what they want I think it's projection.
01:30:06.000Uh, there was a story that came out, I think about a year ago that I can't remember what it was, but it was like the amount of men under the age of 29 that were virgins, like skyrocketed by like 30 something percent.
01:30:18.000And it was like 15% or so for women, meaning women were still able to get laid, but not with men who were 29 and younger.
01:30:24.000And so a lot of these socialist types and woke leftist types who are active on Twitter are younger.
01:30:30.000One of the things that's come up in conversation with some of these individuals on this show is that we realize they're in their early 20s, they're in their mid-20s, they don't have the same political experience.
01:30:42.000So when we're having conversations about war and conflict and taxes, they're like, I don't know Occupy Wall Street, I was 15 years old or whatever.
01:31:52.000They just decide that they don't, they're not involuntarily, involuntarily.
01:31:55.000So something happened where they're unable and it can become really, really dark.
01:32:01.000And it can be, a lot of these people could be outwardly dark or inwardly, meaning some of these people blame society and blame everybody else.
01:32:08.000And some of these people blame themselves and think they're just wrong and ugly and incapable.
01:33:34.000But also, women Like if a guy is, if you think he's interesting, at least for a conversation, like don't, don't decide you have to marry him.
01:33:44.000If you go on a date with him, it's okay.
01:33:49.000Gosh, you get to go out with somebody you've never met until recently, and you get to learn about them.
01:33:55.000You likely you'll learn a little bit about yourself.
01:33:58.000Maybe you'll have a nice glass of wine if you're Lovely, you won't be upset if he actually points to how about this bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and you go on from there.
01:34:38.000These guys in there are going to be like, Dude, let me show you how to throw a punch.
01:34:43.000Come here, join the crew, we're gonna make you, and it's gonna be a whole lot of fun.
01:34:46.000For me, skateboarding was always this, I would just show up, everyone's having a good time, you meet people, you'll be sitting down, but then I'll tell you this, whatever it is you choose to do in terms of physical activity and community and making yourself better, some kind of physical exercise, You're going to encounter that challenge.
01:35:07.000I assure you, you fall down from like your first six foot drop in and hit the ground and you're sore and you're okay though.
01:35:16.000When you're out at the park and you see, you know, a woman or whatever, you're going to be like, I just took a face full of, you know, concrete.
01:35:24.000Someone telling me have a nice day is no big deal.
01:35:26.000So you build that companionship through community by going to some kind of gym and just sticking with it.
01:35:34.000I assure you, man, most people at these places are super excited to get people involved and help them out.
01:36:58.000And we give each other literally the star emoji because that's cool.
01:37:03.000So, but accountability is really good.
01:37:05.000So find yourself accountability friend, accountability coach, somebody who you can check in with and they don't have to be better than you at whatever it is.
01:38:11.000And I'm sure the drummer felt great because as you're singing and he's going or she's going, I mean, that's what creates Amazing music and amazing connections.
01:38:33.000If you haven't already, please smash that like button because it really does help the channel.
01:38:39.000And go to TimCast.com, become a member to get access to a massive library of exclusive segments.
01:38:45.000You know, for a lot of the members-only stuff, we do have conversations that are very evergreen.
01:38:49.000Talking with people about old war stories or old journalism stories or religion a lot of talk about religion faith and DMT and stuff and like because I think we're all very much interested in like What else is out there?
01:39:02.000So that's all available at Timcast.com click the big members only button on the right you can sign up We got major upgrades coming to the site soon, so thank you all for being members and again smash the like button Let's read some of these super chats We got a bunch of super chats because I think everybody has an opinion.
01:39:17.000I can't read the name of this first super chat because YouTube blocks it for some reason.
01:39:21.000They said, Hey Tim, I'm having trouble with my math homework.
01:40:16.000You know what the funny thing is about all of these like, but I guess it's mostly feminists who are like, why do men sit with their legs open?
01:40:23.000And then male feminists who are just trying to like placate this woman are like, I know, right?
01:41:38.000Maybe though, um, not Tim coin, but we were talking about, so we want to do this, you know, well, you're working on the open source project versus expansion.
01:41:46.000Creating like a subscription plugin for people to have their own version of, of, of like an, like a subscription service and integrating it with crypto so that existing social media sites that use crypto could automate subscription services through that.
01:45:03.000So maybe it's something that for whatever reason young men long for to be a run-of-the-mill moisture farmer on, you know, what planet was Tatooine?
01:45:12.000And then all of a sudden the old wizard's like, it's your father's lightning lightsaber and you're actually a magic warrior and it's
01:45:18.000like, whoa, now we're going on an adventure.
01:45:20.000And the reason I think that works is also the reason why I think X-Men worked.
01:45:25.000When I was growing up, the story of X-Men is like, you know, as soon as the kids hit around 13 years old, they
01:45:51.000But it was just not a hero's journey in any capacity.
01:45:55.000Like so there was a great comparison someone did between Captain America and Captain Marvel.
01:46:00.000Captain America was the scrawny Brooklyn kid who had all these defects and couldn't get in the army and then shows like good moral character and gets a super soldier serum and becomes great.
01:46:09.000Whereas Captain Marvel was a hotshot pilot who just was accidentally got superpowers and then was kind of a dick about it, you know.
01:46:18.000Alright, Smoothplay Johnny J says, Hey Tim, I am a financial advisor and recommend the following.
01:46:23.000If you're going to make a major purchase in the next few years, take the funds out of your investment now while the markets are still high.
01:46:56.000Rushless Leader says, having children for a man is too much of a risk because if a man is not ready for a child, they want to pay child support, whereas a woman doesn't have that.
01:47:55.000Aman Ra Al Ghul says, going through a divorce currently with a feminist that took advantage of my weak mental state before I went through therapy in dealing with PTSD for more.
01:48:05.000I'm scared for my daughter's maturation.
01:48:09.000What we had, um, we had a guy on the show, like one of our first guests, actually.
01:49:32.000We could live to our potential and, you know, love your husband and have children.
01:49:37.000It was like, but it became no, no, no.
01:49:40.000It's let's just eschew love, marriage and motherhood and go for the career, which was not what she meant by it.
01:49:48.000And kind of what happened at the end of the 60s is the sort of decisive idea of no, no, women need to be men.
01:49:56.000or like men and that's how women will smash the patriarchy and meanwhile but the truth is most women want love and partnership marriage and children not all but some most we got a correction here for me ill machiner says al loved his family every time he got the chance to run off with a model he chose his family Yeah, I watched Married with Children when I was little, obviously not understanding a whole lot of it, like remember No Ma'am?
01:50:26.000Where all the guys would wear the shirts that says No Ma'am and it was like, I forget what it was, like the feminist symbol with like a line through it or something?
01:50:33.000And he, my understanding of it, the message I got, was not that he chose his family because he loved them, it was because of like guilt and like he was a coward.
01:51:12.000Well, of course, my gender, well, in the 70s, 80s, well, we had one day at a time, divorced mom, two teenage girls.
01:51:19.000We had Kate and Allie, two divorced women who lived together with their daughters.
01:51:24.000In the 70s, girls saw that women, you know, were divorced because the husband usually ran off with the quote-unquote secretary, and they had to take care of the kids, and so they were living life one day at a time.
01:51:37.000So it was this sort of feminist view that we can do it on our own.
01:51:42.000I'm sure that that had a lot of effect on the way that women grew up knowing they could do it on their own.
01:51:49.000But again, I and also the women sometimes married in order to leave their their parents house because they couldn't earn enough money to pay rent at all.
01:52:10.000I mean, talk about the hero's journey and indoctrinating people to think there's an enemy to kill or slay out there and that everything's going to be okay once they do it.
01:52:18.000Now, we did have that criticism, but this one.
01:52:24.000Family law is moving forward through myself and three of my friends have won custody of our children in GA because we provide a better life for the child.
01:54:00.000I remember seeing this on Broadway and and he's so like wow this little peasant woman is so sweet and oh lovely and then she's the princess kind of looking, she's not a princess, but in the ball gown and he doesn't recognize it's the same woman and she leaves the shoe and he finds it's her and then realizes oh this is the kind woman and by the way this is why I am actually pro-princess.
01:54:26.000Not certainly Megan, although I don't know.
01:54:28.000But, no, pro-princess, because princesses are generally very kind, kind to animals, lovely, or badass.
01:55:14.000I mean, if that's what's good for them, but again, I mean, or they could find somebody that enables them to live to their potential because of their love for them.
01:55:56.000Well, that's why, you know, one of the things I've always loved doing is, I guess I'll just say action sports.
01:56:01.000I've been skateboarding for a few decades, but recently I've been rollerblading and we just got some bikes and we're gonna get scooters.
01:56:07.000Because I'm old, you know, when I was younger, skateboarding was hanging out with my friends and we all did it.
01:56:12.000Now I'm more about trying to get as many people as possible to come and be active and do things.
01:56:16.000So having a wide variety of things to do, be it skateboarding, biking, rollerblading, scootering.
01:56:21.000I'm even down to like get some pogo stick people in the house and Apparently there's somebody who's like a really good pogo sticker who might end up coming and like doing some crazy pogo tricks.
01:56:30.000But I just love the idea of goal-oriented exercise, where when it comes to the action sports, you're not just like, I'm gonna do five push-ups or, you know, ten, you know, sit-ups or whatever.
01:56:41.000You're like, I'm going to land a 360 flip.
01:56:44.000And then it could, I tell you, man, trying to learn that new trick and it takes you like a hundred tries and you're drenched in sweat because you're trying to attain a goal.
01:56:54.000It pushes you way harder than being like, I have to do 10 pull-ups.
01:56:58.000What if it was like, you'd have to do 10 pull-ups.
01:57:00.000You had to climb to the top of a mountain.
01:58:21.000And then he got to see the Christmas past was like, look at what you had and you gave it all up.
01:58:27.000I was watching The Simpsons, and I don't know what episode this is because I barely watch Simpsons, but Mr. Burns falls into a fountain, and he gets sucked through the jets, and he's getting repeatedly lands in the water, and then he says, I wish I spent more time at the office.
01:58:43.000The joke is nobody says, I wish I spent more time at the office when they die.
01:58:50.000Eric Miller says, Tim, can you talk about alien invasions and doomsday politics?
01:58:57.000Oh, Tim, you can talk about alien invasions and doomsday politics, but love is sacred, man.
01:59:18.000Joey Martinez says, Hey Tim, I reached out to Langley Outdoor Academy for your 2A expert and he said he would reach out to you guys as well.
01:59:25.000He's been hitting the pavement hard on Joe Biden's gun grabbing.
02:00:23.000Dragon Noodle Soup Gaming says, men shouldn't be sympathetic to a group of people who have demonized them in all of the institutions and the media while taking their children away from them because they're bolstered by divorce court.
02:01:28.000But like, imagine having a media tell you that it's not enjoyable to do, and then you're like, why should I change my circumstances?
02:01:37.000Now, to be fair, The Simpsons had the inverted message, where when Milhouse's parents got divorced, and then Milhouse's dad, what's his character's name?
02:01:48.000He's showing Homer the bachelor pad, and he's like, I, Homer, sleep in a race car!
02:02:09.000Patrick in Chicago says, human relationships are designed to model the Trinity.
02:02:12.000Man and woman, or even friends, united by the Spirit of God, like the Father and the Son, each seeking the best interests of each other before themselves.
02:04:51.000But I was very like, you know, I'm not going to let this ruin my teenage years.
02:04:56.000My parents almost split up, and then they decided to stay together kind of for financial concerns for the kids, and then they ended up getting separate bedrooms, and their relationship blossomed.
02:07:46.000Well, I mean, I sort of have a male perspective on this, but I mean like a more someone who specializes in these conversations and the data and the research that I don't.
02:08:57.000The reason why I said MMA gym as opposed to like a regular gym, regular gyms where you like, you know, you pay a membership, people are just there to get their workout in real, you know, forever time and they're not there as a community.
02:09:08.000But like an MMA gym, I would assume, in my very, very limited experience, that people are training towards a goal and there's probably a community there of people who show up to hang out, they know each other.
02:09:18.000But there's also parkour gyms, there's also skate parks.
02:09:20.000You go to any one of these places, You go to a skate park, and you'll see a couple guys hanging out, and if you've never skated before, and you walk up to any random group of people and say, hey guys, I've never skated before, they're gonna be like, oh dude, let me show you everything, and they're gonna be so excited to do it, and you'll make friends.
02:09:35.000So the camaraderie that comes along with action sports.
02:09:37.000There is not like everybody wants to teach people.
02:09:41.000It's like, it's almost like proof to themselves that they have value and power.
02:09:45.000So if you're some like average skateboard dude hanging out at a park, you probably skate all the time.
02:09:49.000You probably get somewhat bored unless something interesting is happening or your friends are, you know, going on a mission as they call it.
02:09:55.000And then someone comes in, they're like, would you mind like showing me how to do stuff?
02:10:02.000Because these, these skaters or these people feel like I've got something of value that people want from me.
02:10:07.000And then this and then you go in there, you make friends.
02:10:10.000And then I tell you, like, you count the days you've been skateboarding.
02:10:14.000And then like three months when you're doing tricks, you get your first kickflip, they're going to be cheering and clapping and like jumping up and down for when you when you land those tricks.
02:10:21.000Talking about giving people purpose, man, when you let someone teach you, that's what a great purpose you're giving them.
02:10:30.000Like, I'm not saying that the man is going to be teaching the woman, although everybody can learn something from somebody else.
02:10:36.000But again, just the fact that he has a passion for wine or a passion, he's a foodie and wants to show you the restaurants he loves or whatever.
02:10:45.000Don't say, no, you know, I don't want to go all the way there.
02:10:48.000Can we just like hang out and like, just like grab some burgers?
02:10:52.000Give him the opportunity to show you his passion.
02:12:42.000To this guy about graphene, we were just talking about how the cost of wood has gone up six times, 600%, and steel is increasing.
02:12:49.000$250, but they're saying now, like in the same article they said, a piece of lumber that was $10 is selling for $60 now.
02:12:54.000Yeah, so I think graphene may be a potential future hedge against inflation.
02:12:59.000If we can start producing this stuff super cheap, then we're not going to need lumber and steel like this, and that may pull us out of the fire.
02:13:07.000Graphene, I know, is like a great superconductor, but is it- are they gonna make like multi-layered graphene sheets that are stronger than steel or something?
02:13:15.000Yeah, well, you can, yeah, and you can make- if you take two sheets of graphene and twist them 1.1 degrees, you can create a superconductor that way.
02:13:32.000says, Growing up, I was always told that I needed to make sure I went to college and
02:13:36.000got a good job. So in the event my husband left me, I could support myself and my children.
02:13:41.000It was never a drive for career achievement.
02:13:43.000True. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember I was, it was the 70s.
02:13:49.000I was, let's say, seven years old, pigtails.
02:13:52.000And my neighbor, the dad, asked me what I want to be when I grow up.
02:13:56.000And I said, I want to be a psychologist.
02:13:59.000And he said, oh, that's nice, but it really doesn't matter because, you know, you'll grow up, you'll get married, and you won't have to work.
02:14:07.000And I remember this, putting my hands on my hips, going, and what's going to happen when he runs off with his secretary?
02:14:14.000How will I be able to take care of my children?
02:14:18.000Now, of course, this was part of the cultural conversation that I learned, but the truth is that, again, a positive part of feminism is that, let's say he didn't run off a sex test, he died.
02:15:08.000If you are 36 years old and the guy you love and thought you were going to marry breaks up with you.
02:15:15.000I have to tell you, that is, if you don't know now if you're going to have children because now you only have a few more years, oh, they're a struggle.
02:15:57.000Women are taking better care of themselves and can take good care of themselves and hopefully a man would love a woman who takes care of herself and would love to take care of him too.
02:16:31.000Make sure you follow us on Instagram at TimCastIRL and on Facebook at Facebook.com slash TimCastIRL.
02:16:37.000When you follow us and click that like button on Facebook, you can share the videos.
02:16:41.000That way we can get more people to go to TimCast.com and become members, because we're going to be rolling out new shows, a newsroom, and I'm really excited for this paranormal show that we're working on.
02:16:52.000You know, it's a snowball rolling down a hill.
02:16:54.000So it starts off slow, but once we get to the point where we have, like, the key managerial components, we can start launching these shows faster and faster.
02:17:00.000I'm actively talking with talent, you know, creatives about their own shows and things like that.
02:17:05.000So we're gonna have a bunch of really awesome stuff on TimCast.com.
02:17:08.000I'm hoping that eventually it'll be, like, one day a big, you know, site with a whole bunch of movies and shows, original content.
02:17:15.000So that's coming, and it's all thanks to everything you guys do for us by being members, by just subscribing to the content that we give to you.
02:17:36.000Yeah, please follow me, SavvyAuntie, S-A-V-V-Y-A-U-N-T-I-E, on all the socials except Clubhouse, where it's my name, Melanie Notkin, N-O-T-K-I-N, and hoping to continue the conversation there.
02:17:53.000You can follow me at iancrossland.net and at iancrossland throughout all the social media accounts.
02:18:25.000We're going to have clips up from earlier in the week.
02:18:27.000We do this on the weekends, so there will be clips tomorrow and Sunday.
02:18:30.000But on Sunday, over at YouTube.com slash CastCastle, we will have a vlog where Mike jumped over the Tesla on his bike.
02:18:41.000It's not the biggest feat in the world, especially when you realize, like, you got people like Travis Pastrana jumping over buildings or whatever he's doing.
02:18:47.000But, uh, hey, we're trying, and we're getting things going, so make sure you check out youtube.com slash castacastle, subscribe to the new channel, and we'll see you all next time.