Tower Gang - Ep 134 - Joo-Doo

00:00:00.000 The only thing more powerful than a girl's girl, a girl's girl with a law degree. 1.00

00:00:04.420 All's Fair is the fierce new legal drama about a team of iconic women and friends 0.57

00:00:09.320 created by Ryan Murphy and starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash-Betz,

00:00:14.640 Tiana Taylor, Matthew Noska, with Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close.

00:00:18.380 All's Fair premieres on Hulu on Disney Plus November 4th. 0.99

00:00:24.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:00:30.000 It's Cowagay Wednesday, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:38.300 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:40.220 I'm trying to start a cult here, baby. 1.00

00:00:41.880 So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's pussy. 1.00

00:00:46.900 You want to kill me or you want to give me a bone? 1.00

00:00:49.560 I don't know. 1.00

00:00:50.700 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny. 1.00

00:00:54.020 Woe is me, I'm retarded. 1.00

00:00:56.160 Have you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit 0.99

00:00:59.400 and they're like, oh, oh, oh. 0.99

00:01:01.120 The three of you had a threesome of some kind. 1.00

00:01:04.500 I was watching it and jerking off. 1.00

00:01:08.140 You fucking asshole. 1.00

00:01:10.580 Toad's on fire. 1.00

00:01:11.920 She was a 10 in real life.

00:01:13.380 She's like a dead 8.

00:01:16.940 Lewis, you're like a brother to me.

00:01:18.260 Donald Trump, come on Tower Gang.

00:01:20.260 That is fun.

00:01:20.760 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast. 1.00

00:01:23.300 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:01:25.200 That is shit. 1.00

00:01:29.400 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:01:32.140 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:36.120 What it do, ladies and gentlemen, it's motherfucking Wednesday, August 2nd. 1.00

00:01:40.360 Two days until I'm officially so old I might as well be dead. 0.95

00:01:44.080 We have officially extricated the dead weight from Tower Gang.

00:01:48.440 Jose is dead. 1.00

00:01:49.780 He's over on some fucking limp dick channel that does like quarter million live viewers. 0.99

00:01:54.520 I like how Clint just eased in there that his birthday is coming up. 0.99

00:01:59.640 Because we're all supposed to be friends.

00:02:01.480 No idea.

00:02:02.140 Had no idea it was coming up.

00:02:03.260 I knew.

00:02:03.780 I knew because I know that his birthday is right around when my mom's is.

00:02:07.240 So happy birthday, Clint.

00:02:08.180 Well, you guys may not know, but Dave Smith does because I'm having dinner with him tomorrow.

00:02:12.940 No, you're not.

00:02:14.660 Yes, I am.

00:02:15.360 Yeah, yeah.

00:02:16.120 Yeah, Dave's in Florida.

00:02:16.760 Oh, I forgot.

00:02:17.280 He's coming down to Florida.

00:02:18.520 Dave's in Florida, yeah.

00:02:19.420 Where are you going to bring him? 0.99

00:02:20.260 This is like first date shit. 0.99

00:02:21.520 Where are you going to bring him? 1.00

00:02:22.920 What's he going to eat?

00:02:23.560 What if he orders more than salad?

00:02:25.160 Who pays on this one? 0.92

00:02:26.320 Clint East.

00:02:27.100 He bought me dinner when we hung out in South Dakota.

00:02:30.400 So I feel like I got this one. 0.98

00:02:32.180 Oh, but that sucks, dude. 0.88

00:02:32.960 You got to bring him somewhere nice. 0.94

00:02:33.860 So he gets dinner in South.

00:02:35.440 He buys your dinner in South Dakota and then you're going to buy his dinner in Miami? 1.00

00:02:39.660 Like that is some fucked up shit right there. 1.00

00:02:41.260 It's a raw deal. 1.00

00:02:42.120 That's some real Jew shit, yo. 1.00

00:02:44.500 Not to mention he makes like probably 10 times what I do from podcasting. 1.00

00:02:49.620 So like, you know.

00:02:50.800 I love that he's like, yeah, we're going to go to.

00:02:52.860 This is called Dollar Burger.

00:02:54.320 I bet that's pretty good, but I got you, brother.

00:02:55.900 You know what I'm going to do?

00:02:58.080 This is called Alfonso's.

00:02:59.580 It's a five-star restaurant.

00:03:01.200 It's a Michelin three-star.

00:03:02.780 And Dave's Jew brain, he probably did the math on this. 0.99

00:03:05.720 He was like, well, I did get him that lunch in South Dakota.

00:03:08.400 So I'm going to come and he's like, I'm going to invite him, say, hey, let's have dinner. 0.99

00:03:11.760 And he knows, damn, yo, he got you, man. 0.99

00:03:14.240 He did the math already. 1.00

00:03:16.000 It's crazy.

00:03:16.560 Look, there's a reason he's the best at what he does.

00:03:19.560 He's got that high IQ.

00:03:21.840 So, yeah, I'm stoked.

00:03:23.860 It's going to be a cool way to send him.

00:03:25.120 You know, I turn old at midnight.

00:03:28.160 So I'm going to be spending my birthday with Dave Smith.

00:03:30.640 Clock's going to strike and Clint will turn into a withered pumpkin. 1.00

00:03:36.160 Will you get pussy on your birthday? 1.00

00:03:38.220 Do you think Dave's going to put out? 1.00

00:03:39.420 Yeah, you're going to get some of that pussy. 1.00

00:03:43.740 Or you're going to be like me and Top and also not get pussy on our birthdays. 1.00

00:03:48.100 You've got to get that birthday pussy, man. 1.00

00:03:50.380 I'm good either way. 1.00

00:03:51.700 Pussy, pussy, whatever is on offer, I'm open to it. 1.00

00:03:54.860 As long as my dick is in a hole, baby, that's a good birthday for me. 1.00

00:03:59.700 Yep. 1.00

00:04:00.680 You've got to finish the intro.

00:04:03.480 Yes.

00:04:04.540 Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.

00:04:06.320 I just did a 40-minute cry fest on the importance of fatherhood.

00:04:11.140 So you guys will enjoy that when it comes out right after this.

00:04:13.540 I thought he was looking weird because of the tiny hat that he squeezed on his head.

00:04:18.060 But it's because he's been crying for a half hour.

00:04:20.480 He's so puffy.

00:04:22.480 It's a man that's not a father talking about fatherhood and crying.

00:04:26.460 It's like, I mean, he's also talking about like home prices and he's living in an apartment. 1.00

00:04:30.740 Like this guy, he's a fucking, I mean, you're a grifter is what you are. 1.00

00:04:34.380 Everything they say about you is true, Clint. 1.00

00:04:38.580 I'm asking these guys in Rumble, like, why are you guys watching here?

00:04:41.560 There's like, how many?

00:04:43.460 13 of you guys in here?

00:04:44.720 And there's like three.

00:04:46.240 Yeah.

00:04:46.880 And they're like, well, we just kind of figured you guys wouldn't be on YouTube.

00:04:50.120 So we just got used to watching you here.

00:04:52.540 That's great.

00:04:53.480 I would greatly prefer people watch us on Rumble because YouTube will absolutely can us.

00:04:57.660 Yeah.

00:04:58.360 Well, now that we're in a really sexy 1080p, they're going to like see our racism even more clearly.

00:05:05.540 We have upgraded to be sure on whatever you're watching on to go click down the bottom settings.

00:05:12.640 Instead of 720p, we are now in 1080p.

00:05:15.220 You can see us clearly.

00:05:16.880 Why am I on the bottom now?

00:05:18.020 I'm even more white now in 1080p than I was before.

00:05:22.260 Hell yeah, dude.

00:05:22.880 There we go.

00:05:23.520 And it's amazing.

00:05:23.900 Now I'm the top lobster.

00:05:26.500 Yeah, he's right.

00:05:27.900 Put him down.

00:05:28.320 But like I was going to say, I'm going to say to ignore that.

00:05:31.960 Like I was going to say, Clint, like I do prefer people watch on Rumble. 0.98

00:05:36.280 But now that I'm looking at the people watching on Rumble, I'm like, what kind of fucking people would watch on Rumble? 0.98

00:05:41.600 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:05:41.980 It's kind of like.

00:05:42.720 Yeah, you're lower than Ribble Bumble, man. 0.99

00:05:45.020 No, Ribble Bumble's on YouTube.

00:05:47.980 He's the only dude watching on Odyssey.

00:05:49.820 He's on Odyssey.

00:05:50.460 He's the lowest of the low.

00:05:51.960 Oh, that's right.

00:05:52.480 I forgot the name of that website.

00:05:53.480 But so there's 13 of them.

00:05:57.660 And I'm just thinking about like the segregation of people like on YouTube because there's about 50 over there.

00:06:02.640 And then there's like 13 over here.

00:06:04.140 And they like imagine in a physical room, they would probably separate the same way. 0.99

00:06:08.300 They're like fucking weirdos on Rumble right now. 1.00

00:06:10.040 Right. 1.00

00:06:10.260 Am I wrong? 0.83

00:06:10.860 I think the 13 people in the Rumble chat could probably beat the shit out of the 100 plus people in the YouTube chat. 0.77

00:06:17.960 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:18.900 Rumblers are fucking serious people, man. 1.00

00:06:20.660 They're like, they're ready to rumble. 1.00

00:06:22.040 They're like, they hate censorship so much.

00:06:24.860 Like you can't even get Rumble.

00:06:25.900 It's like my whole life is about rumbling.

00:06:27.820 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:28.720 They're like, they're like, I rumble in the streets.

00:06:30.760 I rumble on the streams.

00:06:32.120 I rumble when we rumble, Bumble.

00:06:34.080 I rumble in the sheets, baby.

00:06:36.720 Maybe his name is Rumble Bumble.

00:06:38.560 Where's Rumble Bumble?

00:06:39.120 We need to get a rumble, Bumble fan. 0.99

00:06:41.220 Hell yeah.

00:06:42.440 Hell yeah.

00:06:43.020 All right.

00:06:43.840 Anyways, I am Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.

00:06:46.300 We got Fat Comic Dave, top left.

00:06:48.620 He is incredibly jacked, but he's also 5'4", so it's not that impressive.

00:06:53.020 We got our gang, Toad, who is not jacked, but he is also a recovering alcoholic.

00:06:58.000 And that's very impressive.

00:06:58.820 We got Top Lobster, who's the host of Merch Engine, as well as Top Lobster.com.

00:07:06.060 God bless you guys.

00:07:06.180 And the Top Lobster show.

00:07:07.020 Oh, wait up.

00:07:07.580 Let me just say, Top Lobster show, whatever, 640, about 645.

00:07:11.480 So I listen to the show.

00:07:12.900 After we do it, I go and I listen to it constantly, and I time mark.

00:07:16.480 I time stamp myself.

00:07:17.940 How long can I distract Clint from getting this intro done?

00:07:22.000 I do it every time.

00:07:23.420 And now- 0.99

00:07:23.840 I fucking hate it. 0.99

00:07:25.400 I just broke. 1.00

00:07:26.980 I know you hate it.

00:07:27.840 That's why I do it.

00:07:28.440 I just broke the 645.

00:07:30.300 That's like a new personal high for me.

00:07:31.820 So now there'll be a cool off period, but we'll continue again.

00:07:34.660 I was wondering why, because for months and months, like maybe a year, you guys just let 0.99

00:07:39.480 me rack off the fucking intro. 0.98

00:07:41.020 Just let me go, yeah. 0.99

00:07:41.480 And now every time, there's an interruption like 10 seconds into it.

00:07:44.900 It's crazy.

00:07:45.340 Dude, I think you should intentionally do it for, what is it, 8 minutes and 36 seconds

00:07:49.120 every time or something?

00:07:50.080 The length of time that Derek Chauvin kneeled on George Floyd's neck.

00:07:54.420 Oh, my God.

00:07:55.040 We should do it for 14 minutes and 88 seconds, just to really drive home the point.

00:08:00.160 Oh, just for RFK?

00:08:01.860 Actually-

00:08:02.620 Just shout out to RFK.

00:08:04.840 Power of the bag.

00:08:05.080 1488.

00:08:06.040 And LPNH.

00:08:07.680 And LPNH. 1.00

00:08:08.600 What a fucking, what a bizarre, like, I can't believe that these people think that we're 1.00

00:08:13.520 the conspiracy theorists. 1.00

00:08:14.740 And they think that people are, that a dude who travels around talking to as many Jewish

00:08:18.680 people and saying how great Israel is, he is also simultaneously coding his tweets to appeal 1.00

00:08:23.620 to the four fucking Nazis that exist in America. 1.00

00:08:26.640 What is happening? 1.00

00:08:27.640 Or maybe he's just, maybe he's into meme culture and he just knows and he's like, maybe he's

00:08:33.480 cooler than we realize. 0.99

00:08:34.460 He's not just, well, one, he's fucking jacked. 0.99

00:08:36.900 Of course he's cooler than you realize. 1.00

00:08:38.860 He's a Kennedy.

00:08:40.680 Oh, this is honestly, I just convinced myself, he's into meme culture.

00:08:44.220 This guy is like scrolling through Reddit, like, no, 4chan on memes.

00:08:48.540 And he's like-

00:08:48.860 All right, I take it back. 0.99

00:08:49.840 Now the dog whistle, the dog whistle was totally legitimate because it appeals to fucking 1.00

00:08:54.380 dumb people like Cole. 1.00

00:08:55.460 Awesome. 0.99

00:08:55.660 So it's not necessarily, it's a, it's a different, but when they say dog whistle, they're talking

00:08:59.140 to the Nazis. 0.99

00:08:59.740 It's like, but that's not, he was dog whistling to just shit posters. 1.00

00:09:03.100 Yeah, shit posting Nazis. 1.00

00:09:04.060 That's right. 1.00

00:09:04.600 Shit posting Nazis. 1.00

00:09:06.080 That's right. 1.00

00:09:06.600 He's, he's, he's-

00:09:07.460 The funny Nazis, okay? 0.98

00:09:08.820 It's not grammar Nazis.

00:09:09.580 We've got funny Nazis. 0.98

00:09:10.440 The cool kind. 0.64

00:09:11.500 Yeah, he's, yeah, he's a zog whistling. 1.00

00:09:14.380 And I think maybe, maybe he's praising Israel just as a front because maybe he wants to infiltrate

00:09:19.200 Israel.

00:09:20.400 That's the thing that I really don't like about him the most.

00:09:23.300 You know, it's just, it's just a weird one.

00:09:24.940 I don't like the whole-

00:09:26.280 Oh, he read with the, who was that rabbi he met with?

00:09:29.080 Um, I don't even know.

00:09:30.700 He's the same one that like meets with like-

00:09:32.100 That Levin guy or whatever his name is?

00:09:34.180 I don't even know.

00:09:35.440 They're all named Levin.

00:09:36.400 I'm just guessing.

00:09:37.200 Like, you know, one of those Jew names.

00:09:41.940 But yeah, I'm just, I'm just glad that we actually did stuff in the money.

00:09:44.840 Like on everything else, we take so long to actually up all like, um, production value. 0.99

00:09:51.380 And we finally were like, fuck it. 0.91

00:09:52.680 Let's go to like the pro version of StreamYard. 0.99

00:09:54.980 So they can get 1080p. 0.96

00:09:56.440 We look fucking great. 0.98

00:09:58.180 Um, oh, there we go. 1.00

00:09:59.740 Oh shit. 1.00

00:10:00.540 It's our, it's our boy. 0.99

00:10:02.000 We're going to be a simultaneous, like, you know, every so often checking up on him.

00:10:06.080 Yeah.

00:10:06.400 We're going to simulcast.

00:10:07.320 We'll watch it on mute.

00:10:08.040 That's how I usually watch it anyway.

00:10:09.660 But, uh, yeah, we're just going to make sure our boy Jose is not getting, you know.

00:10:13.080 He doesn't talk on there, by the way.

00:10:14.220 He's like, I think he's out of his element.

00:10:15.640 And also, uh, found out today he had top surgery, uh, which was, uh, pretty, uh, can you bring

00:10:23.940 up that, uh, that photo of him?

00:10:25.420 Because I want to discuss this. 1.00

00:10:27.340 Because, uh, Jose's a fucking unit. 1.00

00:10:30.640 And somebody, I sent it to a lifting chat that I'm in and they kind of roasted his ass for 1.00

00:10:34.460 a bit. 0.99

00:10:34.780 So they're, uh, this bitch calls me doughy. 1.00

00:10:37.680 He's got these fucking zipper tits. 1.00

00:10:39.160 He's calling me doughy. 1.00

00:10:39.960 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:10:40.700 But the funny thing is he has the, um, he has like roid gut. 1.00

00:10:43.300 If you look at it, he has that big, like, um, where it's like, he's a fucking hairless 0.99

00:10:48.000 gorilla. 1.00

00:10:48.660 Facts.

00:10:49.000 He has like, he has like abs, but they like push out.

00:10:52.440 Like, it's very, it's like the, uh, the, the, the bubble gut that, uh, look at the

00:10:57.800 thing.

00:10:58.640 One, tell me that's not a top surgery look. 0.99

00:11:01.620 Pull up a picture, pull up a picture of a fucking gorilla right now. 0.99

00:11:04.780 Tell me he's not a hairless gorilla. 1.00

00:11:06.880 Dude, he was black. 1.00

00:11:08.420 What I like most about that is the skin that's like connects his tits. 1.00

00:11:12.480 It's really cool. 0.99

00:11:13.380 It's like a very Hulk Hogan-esque, like, but Hulk Hogan.

00:11:15.920 He has breast implants.

00:11:18.180 Who, Jose?

00:11:19.540 Yeah.

00:11:20.740 It looks, I've never seen a chest that look, it's like a straight line across.

00:11:24.880 Like, it's, it's a flap of skin that, that connects him.

00:11:29.160 Please, Toad, why did you, why would you take this down?

00:11:31.540 Leave this up.

00:11:32.580 It looks like it, it honestly, to me, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

00:11:34.760 it's like a picture of a gorilla, pull up a picture of a gorilla, and then pull him

00:11:38.460 back up, just so you guys can see what I'm talking about.

00:11:39.580 To me, it really looked like, um, like an old man chest.

00:11:42.640 You see, yeah, it's like skin.

00:11:44.900 So yeah, you're right, it is not one flap, it is a skin flap that goes across, and it's

00:11:49.360 very interesting.

00:11:50.900 I've never seen it, to me, it, to me, I thought of an old man chest.

00:11:55.460 That's the exact shape of a gorilla's body.

00:11:57.620 The exact shape.

00:11:59.760 Like, I'm an abortion guy that's elite.

00:12:01.420 I'm elite.

00:12:02.020 And honestly, also, me and him, same body type, too. 0.94

00:12:04.820 Crazy. 0.99

00:12:05.140 Dude, the fact that he pulled down his fucking, his, uh, boxer briefs for this photo for us 1.00

00:12:09.120 makes me so fucking offended. 0.99

00:12:12.320 It is so weird. 0.96

00:12:13.640 Like, I don't, I don't understand it. 1.00

00:12:15.500 Why are you showing me your fucking, your happy trail, you cunt? 1.00

00:12:19.100 He put it in the group chat first, and got like weird mixed responses, and then he said, 1.00

00:12:23.000 good enough to go to the live. 0.95

00:12:24.960 And just fucking posted it to everybody. 0.94

00:12:27.140 I was like, there's gonna be a hundred thousand people watching you tonight, and like three 1.00

00:12:30.640 tweets down on your shit, this is what they're gonna see. 0.99

00:12:33.340 Also, can I get a- 1.00

00:12:34.300 It's a strange look.

00:12:34.820 What's the fit check on, um, like denim shorts, like the black denim shorts with the

00:12:40.000 belt?

00:12:40.640 I haven't seen that in a while.

00:12:42.660 I don't know if that's just, uh, I don't know if, I feel like that Clint might

00:12:45.380 roll with that, but I don't, like, uh, I can't see Top or Toad rolling with that.

00:12:50.280 No, well, this is the thing.

00:12:51.640 So, uh, Jose has worn the same thing every single time I've seen him.

00:12:55.740 I just don't wear my underwear that low. 0.97

00:12:57.080 It's fucking, I mean, I don't wear underwear, but if I wore two, I wouldn't wear it that low. 0.98

00:12:59.680 He's actually, he's kind of sagging, isn't he? 0.99

00:13:01.740 Yeah, he's like, he's another thing for the gorillas. 1.00

00:13:03.980 He legit pulled down his underwear for this photo. 1.00

00:13:06.000 It fucking, it's the gayest thing that's ever happened in my life. 1.00

00:13:09.400 I wish he, you could see the hat in the background. 0.99

00:13:11.660 I wish he kept the, I wish he kept the hat on the, uh, the flat,

00:13:15.380 brim hat, so he looked like a real, like, uh, like a late 2000s, like, kind of late 2000s,

00:13:22.500 like, uh, fit check.

00:13:24.240 He looks like a day laborer.

00:13:26.560 He looks like he was just doing sheet rock.

00:13:28.460 Look at his shoes.

00:13:29.060 His shoes are all dusty.

00:13:30.840 Someone called him the, uh, the Cholo, uh, Bubbles from, um, uh, the Trailer Park Boys.

00:13:38.460 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

00:13:39.980 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:41.760 Cholo Bubbles is exactly what he looks like.

00:13:43.920 Someone else said he looks like the, um, like, the most, just, like, how do they put it? 0.98

00:13:50.500 He, he looks like, he looks like a dude who gets paid 20 bucks an hour to fucking shovel 0.99

00:13:54.000 cement, but he also fucks your wife on the side and you don't know about it. 1.00

00:13:57.040 That's what he looks like. 0.98

00:13:57.940 I mean, that's just true about what I'm saying.

00:14:00.040 Yeah, yeah, he looks like the, like the pool boy.

00:14:02.560 Like, that's what you're saying.

00:14:03.360 How they said it is, I've never seen a jacked person look so not jacked. 0.99

00:14:07.120 And it's true because I know he's a fucking unit. 0.99

00:14:11.840 I know he works out, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, 0.98

00:14:15.200 Oh my God.

00:14:16.340 He has, this is, this is like what, this is the, the apex of midget.

00:14:20.560 A pop socket.

00:14:21.320 Oh, I don't know what that is. 0.99

00:14:24.020 What the fuck is, what the, what the fuck is a pop socket? 0.99

00:14:27.720 What the fuck is a pop socket? 1.00

00:14:29.480 Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. 0.99

00:14:31.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:31.640 I forgot about that. 1.00

00:14:32.680 Oh, that's so fucking gay. 1.00

00:14:34.980 Oh, I'm doing, I love, I love that he's talking to a quarter million people and we're going to 1.00

00:14:39.580 roast him to 200.

00:14:41.980 We had no content today and we're like, you know what?

00:14:44.660 Jose's picture.

00:14:45.160 Thank you, Jose.

00:14:46.040 You bailed us out.

00:14:46.860 Our, our, our content was just going to be simulcasting his entire Timcast.

00:14:52.000 This is way more entertaining though.

00:14:54.420 He has, he has 1960s president hair as well.

00:14:57.720 Dude, dude, maybe, maybe Jose, maybe because of like his, maybe, maybe.

00:15:04.060 Oh my God.

00:15:05.320 Maybe it's like FDR. 0.62

00:15:07.780 He's got FDR hair with the face of like a, a scientist that worked on the nuclear bomb. 0.95

00:15:12.900 Jose's legs are ugly. 0.97

00:15:14.120 The body of a chimpanzee. 0.96

00:15:15.200 I mean, I mean, his legs are also about as functional as FDR's.

00:15:19.420 Oh, he kind of has, I never thought about this.

00:15:21.260 He kind of does have a Joe Rogan body.

00:15:23.500 Oh yeah, for sure.

00:15:24.520 Pull up Joe Rogan's. 0.99

00:15:25.340 His nipples aren't as, as protruding. 0.96

00:15:27.860 Yeah, if you pull up Joe Rogan's body, he's kind of like this. 0.91

00:15:30.340 That will, and it, it makes sense because they're the same height.

00:15:32.780 They are the, really, yeah, they are that short as well.

00:15:35.620 Maybe.

00:15:35.900 Maybe.

00:15:36.160 Not the only kind of physique they can get.

00:15:38.440 Maybe, uh, maybe his, uh, dwarf hands are the reason why he needs the, uh, the pop socket. 0.95

00:15:42.980 I don't know.

00:15:43.380 I don't know how that works.

00:15:44.080 Dude, I, I, honestly, I, I should use a pop socket, but I literally, I feel like I would 0.99

00:15:49.000 grow a vagina if I put one on my phone. 1.00

00:15:52.980 Yeah, me too. 1.00

00:15:53.420 I refuse.

00:15:54.280 I will not do that.

00:15:55.160 He's honestly, he's honestly, like, that's as good a body as a midget can have. 1.00

00:15:59.300 Cause you know, like, they're just so, they're so disproportionate and disjointed.

00:16:02.920 Yeah, that's it.

00:16:04.460 Look, yeah, he has the exact same, um, um, chest flaps and the same kind of like, uh, 0.99

00:16:08.980 Holy shit. 0.99

00:16:09.520 He does look like Rogan. 0.99

00:16:11.960 Yeah.

00:16:12.360 That's when that bubble gut there on Rogan is pretty like, that's just testosterone.

00:16:18.140 Like all the, just the roids he's taking.

00:16:20.560 Yeah.

00:16:20.920 What is that going on on the side?

00:16:22.180 Is that the thing that you have, Clint? 1.00

00:16:23.860 The fucking hernia? 1.00

00:16:25.800 Oh, what is this? 0.99

00:16:27.760 No, that, that, that comes from one of like, if you pull up like the, uh, another early

00:16:31.500 2000s, like a lot of the guys that were doing, uh, like Mr. Olympia during like the 2000s,

00:16:36.860 like they all had the bubble gut because it's like happens whenever like they take, I feel

00:16:40.760 like he would talk about it if he's done roids and he's never talked about that.

00:16:43.660 He, but he is on testosterone.

00:16:44.620 I know that.

00:16:45.300 Who?

00:16:45.580 Rogan?

00:16:46.100 Yeah.

00:16:46.400 Isn't that roids?

00:16:47.980 Yeah.

00:16:48.160 I mean, it depends on like, um, testosterone.

00:16:51.200 I mean like, I know he does TRT.

00:16:52.800 If you juice it to the max, I guess it could kind of get into the roid area.

00:16:55.760 I think Rogan is taller, by the way.

00:16:57.160 Rogan is taller.

00:16:57.880 Rogan's like 5'8".

00:16:59.360 Rogan is my height.

00:17:00.260 Here you go, by the way. 1.00

00:17:02.500 Dude, that's his fucking tits. 1.00

00:17:03.980 Look at that. 1.00

00:17:04.600 I told you.

00:17:05.360 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:17:06.080 That's literally his same body, same dick size, almost, almost non-existent. 1.00

00:17:10.740 I bet his, no, I bet his dick, I bet he has a nice, honestly. 1.00

00:17:13.300 I think this is a female gorilla. 1.00

00:17:14.920 We should compare.

00:17:15.620 Whenever we go to Top's house. 0.99

00:17:16.980 He has a gorilla cock. 0.99

00:17:18.580 Whenever we go to Top's house, I think we should all compare in person. 0.99

00:17:21.820 We're not going to put it out, but we're going to compare in person. 0.98

00:17:23.740 He's built like a gorilla, and gorillas don't have big dicks because they acquire their partner 0.98

00:17:30.160 through dominance. 1.00

00:17:31.020 And he's obviously like physically a dominating person, but he doesn't have a dick to match 0.99

00:17:34.280 it because he doesn't need it. 0.99

00:17:35.300 Well, wait a minute. 0.98

00:17:35.900 Why do we like talk all the time about how like black people resemble gorillas though, 0.99

00:17:39.700 if their cock size is way different? 0.98

00:17:41.140 I don't talk about that all the time. 0.99

00:17:43.720 Yeah, you do.

00:17:45.160 That's what you type in. 1.00

00:17:48.140 You're like, black people's dicks are so big, man. 1.00

00:17:50.620 They're so big. 1.00

00:17:53.160 I can't.

00:17:54.200 Listen, I know it's the fourth day in a row I'm talking about this, but I can't stress

00:17:59.060 enough.

00:18:00.880 I just happened to know.

00:18:02.000 The size, length, girth, and weight.

00:18:03.520 I spent five hours last night researching it again, and they are still big.

00:18:08.520 I happen to notice when I'm in the locker room.

00:18:12.140 Well, that's even gayer.

00:18:13.660 Wow.

00:18:14.180 You need to leave Boston. 1.00

00:18:15.160 There's no black people around. 1.00

00:18:16.500 Why are you looking at dudes' dicks in the locker room? 1.00

00:18:18.560 No, there are actually. 1.00

00:18:21.280 Disrespect.

00:18:21.800 Disrespect. 0.99

00:18:22.040 There are very few black people in Boston. 0.99

00:18:24.260 And actually, when I encounter, this is not even a joke.

00:18:26.320 When I actually encounter them, which is not really that often, they're usually getting

00:18:30.900 arrested outside of Back Bay Station.

00:18:33.520 Not joking.

00:18:35.000 It happens all the time.

00:18:36.760 At least they're living up to that stereotype.

00:18:38.280 Very nice.

00:18:38.620 Speaking of, I've said that I do have black friends at my gym.

00:18:46.900 I think it's down to a two or one now, because one of them got fired from their job.

00:18:51.300 They gave them free gym access.

00:18:52.800 So I don't have that black friend anymore.

00:18:55.840 So I'm running out of tokens.

00:18:57.660 It's for the best.

00:18:58.820 For him.

00:18:59.680 I mean, he doesn't need an overt racist in his inner circle.

00:19:04.720 Where are you going to?

00:19:06.000 Do we have the mailbag at all?

00:19:09.300 We do.

00:19:09.780 We have mailbags.

00:19:10.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:11.080 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:19:12.120 We all have ball sacks. 1.00

00:19:14.300 Do we have the music?

00:19:16.220 I'm sorry.

00:19:16.900 I fell asleep at the wheel over here.

00:19:18.380 Where is the music? 1.00

00:19:19.000 Come on, little dicky, you faggot. 1.00

00:19:22.340 Another thing with the gym. 1.00

00:19:24.140 I like, Elizabeth hates every woman in the gym until she talks to them. 1.00

00:19:30.000 So I just have to get her to talk to any of the women. 1.00

00:19:32.200 And until that time, she's just resting bitch faces them the entire time. 1.00

00:19:36.580 And so she talked to one today that she was, she was, it's the one I sent you, Clint. 0.96

00:19:40.280 The one I sent you the picture of a while ago.

00:19:43.260 You're not sending me pictures of these gym ladies. 1.00

00:19:45.220 Come on.

00:19:45.560 I said, I said.

00:19:46.200 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:46.680 I remember.

00:19:47.220 Yeah.

00:19:47.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:48.020 It looks like your type.

00:19:49.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:50.080 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:19:51.400 And so she hated that girl. 1.00

00:19:53.040 I'd never talked to her before. 0.97

00:19:54.260 So very young and crazy.

00:19:57.180 So what are you saying? 0.98

00:19:58.040 You're saying that you're setting up another threesome?

00:20:00.140 What's the point of the story?

00:20:01.120 As long as I can be there.

00:20:04.380 Yeah, to invite Joe down and be like, that would be so funny.

00:20:07.880 He's like, okay, I understand we've got this threesome together with you, but I have one

00:20:11.360 more request.

00:20:12.360 There's a fat small mutt man in the corner over there. 1.00

00:20:14.760 He has to stay there.

00:20:16.340 He flew in from Boston to be, you know what's funny? 0.71

00:20:19.080 Toad would, Toad would buy his, Toad the type of nigga to buy an airplane ticket to go sit 1.00

00:20:23.420 in on another threesome, but wouldn't buy an airplane ticket to just get pussy regularly. 1.00

00:20:28.840 So true. 1.00

00:20:29.500 I could only watch my friend fuck pussy. 1.00

00:20:32.120 And it has to be two pussies. 1.00

00:20:34.060 Look, man. 1.00

00:20:34.760 Look, jerking off to a threesome is much less of a commitment. 0.99

00:20:39.720 Honestly, that is actually a great point. 0.99

00:20:42.000 It's actually, it's a great point. 0.99

00:20:44.400 It's still, but I don't know if I would take that over just pussy itself. 0.99

00:20:48.740 So. 1.00

00:20:49.940 Ah, man.

00:20:51.620 We're going mailbag here?

00:20:52.840 Go to mailbag.

00:20:53.160 Yeah, please.

00:20:53.620 I mean, you hear the music.

00:20:55.480 Conspiracy Extremis.

00:20:56.860 One of our favorite guys.

00:20:58.640 Conspiracy Extremis says.

00:21:00.140 Hell yeah.

00:21:01.100 The bike thieves wash their chicken.

00:21:03.440 The small hats beat the sin out of their chicken.

00:21:05.820 Which way, Western man?

00:21:09.000 Oh, that's a good idea.

00:21:12.400 It's either a spiritual or demonic action that we can take here.

00:21:17.920 I mean.

00:21:19.040 I feel like washing your chicken is very demonic.

00:21:21.200 I know.

00:21:21.560 I know this is like.

00:21:22.380 Wait, extrapolate on that.

00:21:23.700 What does that mean?

00:21:24.320 Wait, what?

00:21:25.880 Wait, wait, wait.

00:21:26.920 Why is the other one not demonic?

00:21:30.040 Maybe I do have them backwards. 0.86

00:21:31.520 Maybe the thing that the Jews are doing to their chicken is more demonic than washing your chicken. 0.99

00:21:38.180 But I don't know.

00:21:39.120 I just feel like it's more outlandish to me to wash chicken than it is to beat a chicken.

00:21:45.100 Hmm.

00:21:46.240 But it's beating the chicken to put its sin on it.

00:21:49.660 Well, isn't that witchcraft? 0.99

00:21:51.520 That is kind of like witchcraft, right?

00:21:53.180 That's voodoo. 0.99

00:21:54.700 By the way, Top, this is a little sidebar here.

00:21:57.420 Do you – have you killed any of your chickens?

00:21:59.760 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:00.140 Do you – for meat chickens?

00:22:01.740 Okay.

00:22:01.940 Yeah, but I don't beat them before they die. 0.98

00:22:03.420 I do it. 0.67

00:22:03.900 What I want to ask is –

00:22:05.580 Top literally sent us a video of him, like, slaughtering a chicken.

00:22:08.820 Okay, my mom and my grandma have been slaughtering chickens lately, and I wanted to critique –

00:22:15.000 Their own chickens? 0.73

00:22:15.520 Me and my wife were –

00:22:16.320 What?

00:22:16.900 Their own chickens or just slaughtering them?

00:22:18.400 No, they just –

00:22:20.100 No, they do have their own chickens, and they've been slaughtering them.

00:22:27.160 And so me and my wife were there at her farm, and we were watching her do it.

00:22:31.500 It's –

00:22:31.940 And I wanted to critique her way of doing it, so they put them in, like, this, like, little cone thing, so just the head was sticking out.

00:22:41.220 Yeah.

00:22:41.560 And then she used kitchen shears to – 1.00

00:22:44.920 Oh, my God, no.

00:22:48.580 It didn't – but it won't come off all in one.

00:22:51.140 So she's sitting there snipping at the chicken neck. 0.99

00:22:54.820 Oh, no.

00:22:56.260 And this thing is, like, kicking.

00:22:58.340 No.

00:22:59.500 She's just, like – 1.00

00:23:01.380 Oh, God, that's fucking torture. 1.00

00:23:04.100 One, like, quick strike, you know, how you're – you know, you take them, and you just fucking shoot. 1.00

00:23:09.980 So she's sitting there – 0.99

00:23:10.600 And you were there for this, and you don't intervene?

00:23:11.780 I was there.

00:23:12.340 I watched it, and I was like –

00:23:13.520 You don't intervene and say this is –

00:23:15.520 Dude, that is –

00:23:15.540 Dude, that is –

00:23:17.220 Dude, that is – 0.99

00:23:17.860 That is tantric chicken slaughter, and that is, like, how I masturbate. 0.99

00:23:22.380 I could not believe it whenever I was – 0.99

00:23:24.120 And me and Elizabeth, we got back to the car, and we were like, by the way, that's pretty, like, fucked up, isn't it? 0.97

00:23:30.160 And she was like, yeah. 0.98

00:23:31.960 Is your grandma Italian or something?

00:23:34.260 I feel like – I feel like your family's from America, right?

00:23:37.480 Yes.

00:23:38.140 No.

00:23:38.920 That's not an Italian thing to do.

00:23:40.360 If my grandma did this, I wouldn't be surprised if, like, my friend's mother that's from Italy did it.

00:23:45.540 I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense.

00:23:46.860 But from America? 1.00

00:23:47.960 What the fuck is wrong with your family, dude? 0.99

00:23:48.500 And it's just like, she was like, man, these – and she was – what she was trying to show – 0.99

00:23:52.300 So she had just – while I was there, it's because they got, like, 50 bales of hay in, and so they needed help putting the hay into her barn.

00:23:59.480 And so they wanted to show this woman that was bringing the hay, like, how they, like, killed a chicken.

00:24:05.300 And she was like, you've got to get these Cutco shears, these kitchen shears, because they work great.

00:24:09.840 And then she just goes – and then my grandma didn't hold it right, and so it flew out of the – like, the head's off, flies out of the little cone, and blood gets everywhere all over my grandma. 0.52

00:24:23.060 And I was like, this sounds like the – and I want to ask my mom, like, why can't you just, like – because she has it vertical, so it's, like –

00:24:30.660 Yeah, you put it head first, yeah.

00:24:32.400 Yeah, and I was like, can you not put it horizontal and then get, like, I don't know, a hatchet or, like, a cleaver and just, like, one quick –

00:24:40.200 The best way, because I – my wife did the same – sort of the same thing.

00:24:43.540 You take a very sharp knife, you hang them upside down, you pull the feathers up, you find the carotid, and then you just slice it. 0.99

00:24:50.380 It's – you don't have to, like, fucking cut their head off. 0.98

00:24:52.680 My wife went and cut them across the throat, and then all, like, the food that he had, he was just vomiting. 1.00

00:24:57.780 It was horrible.

00:24:58.400 He was kicking like crazy.

00:24:59.560 The one I did, I just nicked it, and it was, like, got tired, and then just bled out, and that's it.

00:25:04.360 That's the way to do it. 0.99

00:25:05.320 Now, fucking – 1.00

00:25:05.840 She's like, I'm taking this head off, baby. 1.00

00:25:08.820 Cole, this is your grandmother?

00:25:13.400 This is who that was?

00:25:14.220 My grandmother and my mom together.

00:25:15.720 So my grandma was trying to hold it while it was in there.

00:25:18.500 My mom was trying to cut it. 1.00

00:25:19.980 And they've been butchering chickens for, like, the past couple weeks now.

00:25:22.880 So they have, like, committed, like, animal cruelty on, like, probably dozens of chickens now.

00:25:27.960 Well, look, if the chicken was black, it would have gotten the job done right away. 0.94

00:25:31.820 Well, yeah, all it should do with his black is just, like, put his knee in the back of his neck, and it'd be out. 0.99

00:25:35.420 Just a little flick. 0.99

00:25:38.500 All you have to do is touch the black chicken's neck, and it's done, man. 1.00

00:25:42.020 It's way easier to slaughter the black chickens. 0.99

00:25:42.680 But you've got to catch them first. 0.71

00:25:43.820 They're way faster.

00:25:44.900 Yeah.

00:25:45.940 Sorry.

00:25:47.560 What type of person does this, though?

00:25:49.440 Is this their first chicken that they've killed?

00:25:51.640 No, I said they've been doing this for weeks now. 0.99

00:25:54.780 No, but because your grandma owns a farm, so she's been doing this shit for a long time. 0.99

00:25:59.000 She did this whenever she was growing up, yeah. 1.00

00:26:01.180 That's crazy.

00:26:02.440 I couldn't believe it.

00:26:03.680 I felt like you had to – I didn't think of it until now, but I was like, I feel like this is good content.

00:26:07.080 Yo, don't eat that chicken.

00:26:08.180 Don't eat the chicken because it's, like, cursed, dude.

00:26:10.840 Like, imagine –

00:26:11.540 I feel like it also – because doesn't it – if you, like, scare an animal right before you kill it or something like that,

00:26:17.840 the adrenaline, like, actually pumps through its muscles and gives it, like, a nasty taste.

00:26:21.800 Yeah, it's adrenaline problem.

00:26:22.720 I've heard about that. 0.97

00:26:24.120 Yo, dude, this is what the Jews do to us all the time. 1.00

00:26:26.460 After they kill the chicken like that, they go and they put that shit in clearance and they sell it to black people, 1.00

00:26:30.860 and then you wonder why they're so violent all the time. 1.00

00:26:33.480 That's it. 1.00

00:26:34.320 They put all the fucking demons – 1.00

00:26:35.540 Because they're eating terrified chicken. 1.00

00:26:37.540 Maybe my mom went to, like, a Jewish – 1.00

00:26:40.900 Maybe my mom saw, like, a Jewish video online of how to kill a chicken, and it's just propaganda. 0.93

00:26:47.560 He's going to do his propaganda.

00:26:49.220 Cole, I have one important question for you.

00:26:50.800 Put it along with the rest.

00:26:52.140 Yeah.

00:26:52.920 Why didn't you intervene?

00:26:54.940 Because, like, it's like if you see something happening for the first time and you're just, like – 0.92

00:27:00.180 You're, like, what the fuck is going on?

00:27:02.260 Like, you don't immediately, like, if you saw – 0.99

00:27:04.560 Yeah, I would. 0.54

00:27:05.960 If you saw two black guys fighting on the side of the road, you would be, like, hold on, I've got to stop this. 0.99

00:27:10.920 No, you women slowly cutting a chicken's head off, not two black dudes fighting. 1.00

00:27:15.540 What are we talking about? 0.99

00:27:16.420 Yeah, this is –

00:27:17.600 This guy here is right, though.

00:27:19.020 This guy here is right. 0.99

00:27:19.880 That's the type of chicken that you do want to wash because if demons could come out with dawn, you better be fucking scrubbing, boy. 0.99

00:27:27.180 No, no, no. 0.99

00:27:28.440 Clint is right. 0.99

00:27:29.840 He cares more about the chicken than the black people. 1.00

00:27:32.360 Like, let those black people just wail on each other all day. 1.00

00:27:34.560 Don't intervene. 1.00

00:27:35.160 Who gives a shit? 0.99

00:27:35.740 The chicken? 1.00

00:27:36.340 Got to fucking help that chicken out, man. 1.00

00:27:39.080 Yeah. 0.99

00:27:39.480 Lodge.

00:27:40.000 Stop going over there and help them.

00:27:41.760 Be humane about this.

00:27:43.520 It really – like, maybe the next time because they have tried to give me – like, I don't really like any of the meat my grandmother or mom gives us because it's not good.

00:27:51.680 I don't know what it is.

00:27:52.240 Like, they have cows and their cow – their beef is, like, gamey.

00:27:56.800 It's like – it has a gamey taste somehow.

00:27:58.260 They're cutting the cow's heads off with scissors. 0.99

00:28:02.100 They have – they have the – they don't even use the cuckoo shoes.

00:28:07.540 They're just – they're like, they're bigger.

00:28:08.760 We've got to use hedgerow trimmers. 0.99

00:28:10.560 And they're just like fucking – just clipping. 0.99

00:28:13.820 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:28:16.200 Did we answer the mailback question?

00:28:19.400 I don't even know.

00:28:19.800 Well, I have to go with – yeah, I have to go with the Jewish one because I do – what was the question? 0.97

00:28:28.560 Which one would you – do you prefer, basically, I guess?

00:28:31.120 Slapping the chicken around? 0.96

00:28:32.160 I do that all the time, and mine's circumcised, so I'm going with the Jew one, unfortunately. 1.00

00:28:37.700 Yeah. 0.98

00:28:38.080 I prefer the black thing. 0.99

00:28:39.180 You know, the Jewish thing is just clearly evil, like Cole brought up. 0.98

00:28:42.240 I didn't think about it, but then, you know, I start to notice. 0.98

00:28:45.700 Yeah, I choose the black thing. 0.98

00:28:46.740 And you know what? 0.57

00:28:47.180 I think within time, I think if we give it enough time, like two more years, and the right black person comes on to this, they can make chicken washing cool. 0.97

00:28:56.220 Oh, yeah.

00:28:56.880 It's going to happen.

00:28:57.320 They can make it the thing to do.

00:28:58.060 It's going to happen. 0.95

00:28:58.700 And then start, like, shaming white people because they're not washing their chicken. 0.89

00:29:01.600 Dude, it's going to – what's going to happen is it's going to be those AI TikTok women, and they'll be like, gang, gang, gang, gang, wash your chicken. 1.00

00:29:10.700 Wash your chicken.

00:29:12.040 And then, like, everybody's going to be like, what, what, what?

00:29:13.820 Pop.

00:29:14.200 What?

00:29:14.360 And then they're like, yeah, she pops.

00:29:17.200 Yeah.

00:29:17.780 Wash chicken so good.

00:29:19.520 And then, like – 0.99

00:29:20.720 And then all these, like, fucking simp boys are going to be like, I guess I've got to wash my chicken now. 1.00

00:29:26.280 And then, like, it starts. 1.00

00:29:26.840 In the middle of having sex with your girl, you just blank out, stop, go downstairs, stop, start washing chicken. 1.00

00:29:31.920 She's like, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:29:33.160 You're like, I don't even know how I got here. 1.00

00:29:36.480 Hard dick in front of this. 1.00

00:29:37.480 Put it tied away. 1.00

00:29:38.260 Jesus.

00:29:38.560 Yeah, just need the cool blacks to start chicken washing, and then that will happen. 1.00

00:29:44.980 Shift the culture. 0.60

00:29:45.460 Clint, do you prefer the – do you even know what the Jewish chicken thing is, Clint? 0.87

00:29:50.820 I don't even understand it.

00:29:51.920 I think – didn't Ari Shafir talk about it in his latest special?

00:29:54.960 He did.

00:29:54.980 He did.

00:29:55.460 So that's the only time I've heard of it.

00:29:57.180 Yeah, that's how I heard about it first, too.

00:29:59.320 And it makes sense.

00:29:59.860 They sacrifice them to get rid of their sins, right?

00:30:01.720 Yeah.

00:30:02.180 But it's not like they sacrifice.

00:30:03.420 They actually, like – they're like, we're putting the sin on this chicken. 1.00

00:30:07.900 Now beat the fuck out of the chicken because it's sinful. 1.00

00:30:11.320 Right. 1.00

00:30:11.680 They put their, like, bad desires and their bad thoughts in there.

00:30:15.220 Like, ooh, get that away from me.

00:30:16.620 And they put it in the chicken, and they beat it.

00:30:17.880 And they beat it up.

00:30:18.280 It's voodoo. 0.98

00:30:18.640 It is – it's judoo. 0.99

00:30:20.000 Whoever said that.

00:30:20.960 That's –

00:30:21.080 Judoo's such a great –

00:30:22.080 It really does sound like voodoo.

00:30:23.620 That's wild.

00:30:23.940 Judoo, yeah. 0.63

00:30:25.640 Could be the title of the episode.

00:30:27.040 All right.

00:30:27.500 Judoo is a new thing.

00:30:29.420 Are we talking about judo?

00:30:31.620 You know the judo that you do?

00:30:35.400 I don't want to know what a judo doll might look like. 1.00

00:30:38.960 They might be able to circumcise you using one of those things.

00:30:42.140 Next mailbag.

00:30:43.340 Next question.

00:30:45.360 They make a doll, and they just go – just take off. 0.99

00:30:48.120 They put a little hood on the penis, and they just take it off. 0.99

00:30:50.440 And all of a sudden, you wake up. 0.99

00:30:51.420 You just have no – I think anymore.

00:30:53.040 Yeah, that's probably why your mother was so like – they're like, you're not going

00:30:55.640 to circumcise the baby?

00:30:56.600 Because they were about to run in there with scissors and just start cutting until something

00:30:59.700 came off.

00:31:00.660 That's – yeah.

00:31:01.880 I'm going to ask her that next time.

00:31:03.300 I'll be like, by the way, if you want them circumcised, do you still have those Cutco 1.00

00:31:06.180 scissors?

00:31:06.980 I need to leave them.

00:31:08.360 Yeah.

00:31:08.840 I'm 90% sure also that she takes those Cutco scissors, probably wash them a little bit, 0.98

00:31:13.060 throws them back, and just use them in the kitchen right after that.

00:31:15.680 Probably doesn't even use a separate set of Cutco scissors for killing that chicken. 1.00

00:31:21.020 Yeah.

00:31:21.580 My parents brought me to a combination hernia surgery and bris.

00:31:25.360 That's what actually happened.

00:31:26.680 A moil was actually the surgeon.

00:31:30.920 What else you got, Toad?

00:31:32.180 Next mailbag.

00:31:33.440 What else you got, Toad?

00:31:36.260 These are not from me. 0.96

00:31:37.880 I have no control over how sucky these are. 0.90

00:31:40.960 MailMonkey35, another one of our awesome supporters, or OK supporters, says, thoughts on remote viewing.

00:31:49.240 I don't know what he means by that. 0.98

00:31:50.560 Oh, that's cool shit. 0.97

00:31:51.760 I mean, this is more from my show. 0.99

00:31:53.600 I remote view threesomes all the time.

00:31:55.300 Is that what we're talking about?

00:31:57.140 Toad with a banger.

00:32:02.760 Toad with a banger.

00:32:03.640 Yeah.

00:32:04.020 You know, if Toad could remote view, he would.

00:32:05.880 But wouldn't you? 0.75

00:32:07.660 I would be remote viewing people having sex all the time. 0.89

00:32:10.840 I guess if you were at a hotel and you could just sit in your bed and just be like, all right,

00:32:14.380 By the way, remote viewing is basically out-of-body, like, you're able to, like, actually project out and then view whatever you want to see.

00:32:27.360 So, basically, that's what it is.

00:32:29.100 The CIA was, like, looking into this stuff because...

00:32:31.480 The CIA basically confirmed that it was real.

00:32:34.320 Like, a guy was doing it.

00:32:36.020 Look at Clint.

00:32:37.140 So, you can be, like, outside of your body viewing yourself.

00:32:40.020 Yeah, so what they did...

00:32:41.760 Operation something.

00:32:42.640 Someone in the chat helped me out because Clint's an unbeliever.

00:32:44.160 Yeah, so what they did was they had a guy, like, he's in a room.

00:32:46.760 I know what you're talking about, but I've meditated for hundreds, if not thousands of hours.

00:32:51.220 I've read about yogis that claim to be able to do it.

00:32:53.980 I don't buy it.

00:32:55.800 Clint sleeping is not meditating for hundreds of thousands of hours.

00:33:00.060 I do that.

00:33:00.820 I sleep, too, but I also...

00:33:02.500 Clint's like, I've slept half my life.

00:33:06.240 Never remote view. 0.99

00:33:07.220 So, what the fuck is that? 0.99

00:33:08.860 Dude, I meditated for, like, nine hours last night, so... 0.99

00:33:11.920 Dude, I remote viewed myself once when this really crazy stripper, the one who actually 1.00

00:33:17.480 bit my nipple and my cock, she also wanted to, like, watch us in the mirror while she was... 1.00

00:33:22.600 Stargate Project. 1.00

00:33:23.260 Stargate Project. 0.99

00:33:24.060 While she was grinding on me and shit, and, yeah, I did not enjoy the remote viewing. 1.00

00:33:29.080 I'm like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:33:30.820 I'm here to see you, not see, like, myself being grinded on you. 1.00

00:33:34.340 I'm a fucking fat ass. 1.00

00:33:35.320 Like, let's just look at your fat titties here. 1.00

00:33:37.740 So, there is one way I've heard about doing it, is a buddy of mine... 0.98

00:33:41.860 Do you remember that, like, knockout game you would play with your friends in, like, high

00:33:45.740 school and stuff, like, where they would...

00:33:47.600 Yeah, I knocked out like half my high school.

00:33:49.840 What?

00:33:50.580 I knocked out like half my high school, yeah.

00:33:54.100 No, like the thing where you hyperventilate, stand up, and they push on your chest until,

00:33:57.400 like, all the breath goes out and you get knocked out.

00:33:59.120 So, he would, he did that, and then he actually, like, basically, like, actually projected out

00:34:05.760 and was watching himself get knocked out.

00:34:07.960 And he was like, yeah, he was like, I could see myself, like, right there and watch as they 0.99

00:34:12.180 came up and started slapping the shit out. 0.98

00:34:13.180 I don't think he actually projected. 1.00

00:34:14.820 I think he had an out-of-body experience because he almost died.

00:34:17.460 Yeah, true, true.

00:34:18.880 But, like, I had basically this, I didn't have the same experience, but I did have, I did

00:34:23.140 it, and I just dreamed that I was laying in bed, and someone came in there and slapped 0.98

00:34:25.900 the shit out of me. 0.99

00:34:26.980 And what happened was someone slapped the shit out of me to wake up. 1.00

00:34:28.960 It was Josie slapping you. 0.99

00:34:33.060 After peeing on your clothes. 0.95

00:34:35.820 No, that was me doing that one.

00:34:37.700 Oh.

00:34:38.640 But what they did, apparently what the CIA did, they had this guy, and he was like, yeah,

00:34:42.120 I can do this.

00:34:42.600 And so they put, like, a message on top of a roof, and they were like, you stay in this

00:34:47.420 room, and then, like, you tell us what it says.

00:34:49.520 And he, like, went up and, like, said what it said on there. 0.99

00:34:52.020 And they were like, holy shit. 0.99

00:34:53.020 And they did it, like, multiple times. 0.98

00:34:54.420 So, and then what happened was, I think on the same project, Stargate, that he apparently,

00:35:02.040 while he was doing this, they could somehow put it on a screen.

00:35:05.160 They, like, had probes to his brain, and they could put it on a screen.

00:35:08.580 And he died while it was working.

00:35:10.800 And, um, apparently they saw heaven.

00:35:15.740 And then now the only people that has it is the Catholic Church took those tapes and have

00:35:20.300 it in their vault.

00:35:21.660 So, that's the story about that one.

00:35:25.120 I can't tell you how much I immediately lose respect for people that say Saul.

00:35:31.840 What?

00:35:32.500 Like, like, Saul good?

00:35:34.060 Saul good, man.

00:35:35.140 He's like, he's...

00:35:35.940 Better call Saul.

00:35:36.940 He immediately saw it, and I was like...

00:35:39.740 Oh.

00:35:40.360 Oh.

00:35:41.360 Like, when Southern people...

00:35:42.380 What's wrong with grammar, bro?

00:35:43.040 Do you not like that?

00:35:43.880 When they say...

00:35:44.520 When they say saw, but it's like...

00:35:47.460 I have a problem with grammar.

00:35:48.200 I kind of get a problem with the English language here.

00:35:49.500 Yeah, but it's like saw.

00:35:50.360 Yeah, I got it.

00:35:51.200 I got it.

00:35:51.660 I got it.

00:35:52.040 I sainted it.

00:35:53.000 I sainted it, and I saw it.

00:35:54.200 I sainted it.

00:35:56.140 It was right there, and I sainted it.

00:35:57.760 I don't like when he says whenever instead of when.

00:36:00.740 That annoys me.

00:36:01.700 You know what I don't like?

00:36:02.880 I also don't like that Top is not looking at us anymore.

00:36:05.340 He's looking at a camera or at a screen away from us.

00:36:07.860 Yeah, it's a little weird.

00:36:08.640 It's like Dan Smot's...

00:36:09.480 Who, me?

00:36:10.340 No, Top.

00:36:10.900 No, Top.

00:36:11.640 It's like Dan Smot's, like, where he's looking sideways.

00:36:14.480 Spud is correct. 0.99

00:36:15.640 Whenever one of my jokes bombs, you can call it a hanger because it is a fucking... 1.00

00:36:19.820 Toad with a hanger! 1.00

00:36:20.700 Yeah, it's an abortion. 1.00

00:36:24.000 That's why you would call it the hanger.

00:36:26.040 Last mailbag is from Art R, who says, which do you think would cause more outrage? 0.76

00:36:33.000 Spray-painting nigger on an AME church, spray-painting kike on the Museum of Tolerance, or spray-painting 1.00

00:36:39.720 fags on a war memorial? 1.00

00:36:42.660 What's an AME church? 0.97

00:36:45.060 I don't know what that is.

00:36:45.360 Oh, that's the African-American... 1.00

00:36:46.940 African-American...

00:36:48.220 It's some black church.

00:36:49.540 Yeah, it's basically all the black churches are called AME.

00:36:52.680 I guess it's like the Southern Baptist Church for, like, black people. 0.98

00:36:55.460 Yeah, so nigger on a black church, kike on a synagogue, basically. 1.00

00:36:59.240 I'm saying kike on anything Jewish will get way more because they can't stand it. 1.00

00:37:04.740 Well, it's because the Jews control everything, so we know that that's the case. 1.00

00:37:07.220 And honestly, they probably did it.

00:37:08.540 Like, they probably wrote it themselves because it happens a lot.

00:37:11.100 Dude, they're just, like, they're seeing swastikas everywhere, man.

00:37:15.320 I haven't seen the word...

00:37:17.020 That's the thing.

00:37:17.580 I've seen swastikas, but I haven't seen the word kike, really, anywhere.

00:37:21.040 I think people should start doing that more.

00:37:25.200 Who was the one that thought of...

00:37:26.580 The swastika has a bad name, so...

00:37:29.040 That's right.

00:37:29.700 Let's start working in something new.

00:37:31.340 Who thought of the poop swastikas? 0.98

00:37:33.180 Who was the...

00:37:34.560 Poops?

00:37:35.880 Poops?

00:37:36.440 I think people should start committing vandalism with racial slurs more often.

00:37:42.460 No, that's not what I said, Clint.

00:37:43.560 You know what's wrong with America? 0.73

00:37:45.140 We don't have enough vandalism against particular ethnic groups.

00:37:50.120 What I'm saying is, is, like, the people who are already gonna do that...

00:37:55.440 They should not...

00:37:56.620 They should be doing less swastikas and... 0.99

00:37:58.480 Okay, I got you.

00:37:59.200 I got you.

00:37:59.380 Yeah, more lettering.

00:38:01.100 Yeah, the lettering is nice.

00:38:02.460 The swastikas is all drawn out.

00:38:03.860 I mean, come on, it's like, look at the couple of shapes.

00:38:05.800 Also, the swastikas played out.

00:38:07.560 Get some calligraphy in here.

00:38:09.380 Come on, guys.

00:38:09.780 It's also way... 0.99

00:38:10.640 It's way harder to fuck up kike than it is to fuck up a swastika. 1.00

00:38:14.800 I can fuck up... 1.00

00:38:15.480 I probably could not draw a swastika right now. 1.00

00:38:17.560 I would fuck it up. 0.99

00:38:18.060 You would do it backwards, for sure. 1.00

00:38:19.740 Yeah, I would do it backwards and shit. 1.00

00:38:20.820 You'd fuck it up. 1.00

00:38:21.540 Dude, you would draw such a retarded swastika. 1.00

00:38:24.140 Yeah, I know. 0.99

00:38:25.900 It would not look good.

00:38:27.080 It would not look good. 1.00

00:38:27.520 You spell it like a kite, and you're like, fuck up. 1.00

00:38:30.740 I missed that. 1.00

00:38:31.400 He doesn't drive by it in shame every day.

00:38:36.400 I before E, except after J.

00:38:40.280 After Cole has never read the Kike Runner. 0.99

00:38:46.040 Toad with the hanger.

00:38:48.140 Toad with the hanger! 0.98

00:38:49.280 What the hell are you talking about? 0.94

00:38:51.280 Jesus Christ, Toad. 0.97

00:38:52.680 I feel like we start rolling, and you do it on purpose.

00:38:56.220 You just constantly...

00:38:57.320 And it's not like he's derailing us in a way that is intentional.

00:39:01.440 It's crazy, right?

00:39:03.040 Because I'm trying to think about what you're saying, dude.

00:39:05.600 And I don't know.

00:39:06.380 Dude, you just don't like it because I'm derailing the boxcars.

00:39:10.640 I'm saving the Jews when I do it. 1.00

00:39:12.660 Did it again. 0.64

00:39:13.560 It's crazy.

00:39:14.320 Is there another mailman?

00:39:16.320 Is there another mailman?

00:39:17.140 He did it again.

00:39:18.160 No, that's the last one.

00:39:20.200 That's the last one. 1.00

00:39:20.720 Dude, I'm throwing shit at the wall, baby. 0.99

00:39:24.520 All right. 0.99

00:39:24.840 So we have to do Cole's Clip Corner, unfortunately.

00:39:27.360 And we still have...

00:39:28.120 Unfortunately.

00:39:28.980 We're going to check in on Jose again.

00:39:30.040 We still have to do...

00:39:31.300 We have to check in with Andrew for the last time, by the way.

00:39:34.060 This is the last Andrew segment.

00:39:35.580 I think we should save Andrew then for whenever Jose's back.

00:39:38.600 Well, what happened to...

00:39:39.600 Every time I look down...

00:39:41.160 She's looking rough over there. 0.80

00:39:42.300 Every time I look down, Jose's not talking.

00:39:45.600 Is he even there?

00:39:46.360 Dude, I'm telling you, he doesn't talk.

00:39:47.760 I don't think he talks at all.

00:39:48.820 I think he left. 0.99

00:39:50.520 Jose, if you're seeing this, just fucking take your phone out and start doing Tower 0.99

00:39:53.820 Gang. 0.99

00:39:54.120 You're not on this show anyway.

00:39:55.640 That's right.

00:39:56.200 That would be hilarious.

00:39:58.340 Honestly, or just have...

00:40:00.420 Maybe he's just too short for the table, and they just don't actually see him.

00:40:04.000 He's just like, hey, guys.

00:40:05.320 He pops up.

00:40:06.740 Oh, yeah.

00:40:07.400 You're over here.

00:40:07.980 I forgot.

00:40:08.380 What do you think about Trump? 0.81

00:40:09.400 Tim gets banned because we say nigger on Tower Gang, and Jose has it up on his phone 0.89

00:40:13.980 on TimCast.

00:40:15.420 He's like, Terrence, Terrence Yeekey, he did it.

00:40:19.800 Did you see the beginning?

00:40:21.720 It's so funny.

00:40:22.580 Jose was like, well, I wore Terrence Yeekey, and now I'm wearing Kenneth Trendu's shirt

00:40:25.700 because he didn't kill himself.

00:40:26.800 And Tim looks him right in the eyes, and he goes, I don't know anything about this

00:40:30.920 guy.

00:40:31.220 Who is this guy?

00:40:32.020 Tell me about it.

00:40:34.500 Oh, man.

00:40:35.420 Jose got to talk about Lizzo tonight, and he didn't do anything with it.

00:40:39.300 Really?

00:40:40.040 Because Lizzo was...

00:40:41.540 Oh, the sexual harassment thing, right?

00:40:43.620 She's in trouble now, man.

00:40:44.820 Oh, we've got to talk about this.

00:40:46.140 Because this is...

00:40:46.840 Yeah, she wanted her... 1.00

00:40:48.320 This is fruitful, if you will.

00:40:50.340 Yeah, she made her... 1.00

00:40:52.620 Well, we already know that Lizzo is a terrible person, and she doxxes Uber drivers over not 1.00

00:40:57.680 getting her...

00:40:57.880 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:40:58.320 Slow down.

00:40:59.620 Yeah.

00:40:59.800 She's not a terrible person.

00:41:00.780 Yeah, over not getting her lobster rolls in Boston.

00:41:04.720 But now she's under fire because she sexually harassed her dancers, I guess, forcing them 1.00

00:41:11.380 to fondle each other during warm-ups or whatever, but also forcing them to eat bananas out of 1.00

00:41:16.960 each other's pussies. 0.99

00:41:18.400 No, no, no. 1.00

00:41:19.220 You are bastardizing this story.

00:41:21.460 No, no.

00:41:22.280 I like to imagine it this way, at least. 0.98

00:41:23.960 She took them to a strip club in, like, fucking the Netherlands or something, and tried to 1.00

00:41:29.180 get someone to eat a banana out of one of the performer's vaginas. 1.00

00:41:34.060 Okay, by the way, how do you... 0.99

00:41:35.840 I want to ask this because...

00:41:37.260 This is what I'm thinking, too.

00:41:38.320 I'm thinking exactly what you're thinking, Cole.

00:41:39.660 Logistics here. 1.00

00:41:41.160 Do you keep the outer layer of the banana on inside the pussy? 1.00

00:41:48.260 So, basically, you would... 1.00

00:41:50.100 Yeah, so if you...

00:41:50.840 I mean, you take it up.

00:41:51.620 It's like, basically, it's a condom.

00:41:52.600 And then which side are you putting in there?

00:41:55.060 The side with the stem or the side... 1.00

00:41:57.640 That's what black people use in Africa to fuck. 1.00

00:41:59.760 They use banana condoms. 1.00

00:42:01.120 Or if you put the stem in first, you're... 0.97

00:42:03.720 I mean, you're an animal.

00:42:05.780 Yeah, so I'm basically...

00:42:07.600 Or do you just take it all out and then shove the...

00:42:10.720 Now, because I don't know if you ever melt it with...

00:42:12.640 Oh, do you unpeel it?

00:42:14.340 Yeah, you unpeel the entire thing and then put it in there because...

00:42:17.060 That's not coming out.

00:42:19.000 I don't know if you ever, like, tried...

00:42:20.740 It breaks immediately.

00:42:21.500 Yeah, that's breaking off.

00:42:22.020 If she tries to push that thing out, it's breaking off.

00:42:23.660 It has to be in the encasing and then you pull it out. 1.00

00:42:28.520 You take it down and then you put it in your mouth and you don't be a bitch. 1.00

00:42:31.900 All right, so... 1.00

00:42:32.240 Well, you take it out of her and then...

00:42:34.580 So, it's just...

00:42:35.460 Is that what it was?

00:42:36.120 I thought they were making her eat it out? 0.99

00:42:37.820 Yeah, I thought it was...

00:42:38.760 To me, I was thinking...

00:42:39.380 And even...

00:42:39.960 I will say...

00:42:41.060 Oh, so...

00:42:41.740 Oh, no.

00:42:42.200 With a half-peeled banana and then you're eating...

00:42:44.560 Sticking it up.

00:42:45.020 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:42:45.900 It's got to be, like, half unpeeled. 1.00

00:42:47.480 So, yeah, the unpeeled portion of it is the part that's hanging out of her pussy. 1.00

00:42:51.160 And you have to eat it, like, out of the peel. 1.00

00:42:52.780 That's how I...

00:42:53.460 That's what I thought, too.

00:42:54.340 Yeah, that's what I'm just saying.

00:42:55.100 Clint just was like, hey, he put a...

00:42:57.240 Because you can't do, like, a...

00:42:58.740 Put a hot dog in a condom, put it in there and be like...

00:43:00.620 All right, all right, so... 1.00

00:43:01.360 Hold on, just think logically, you fucking cunt. 1.00

00:43:04.260 So, you can't do an unpeeled... 1.00

00:43:05.900 Listen to me!

00:43:07.140 Listen to me!

00:43:08.220 You put the banana... 1.00

00:43:09.820 You put the banana in the vagina. 1.00

00:43:11.780 It has to have the encasing. 0.99

00:43:13.960 Because otherwise, you're just mashing something inside that you're never getting back.

00:43:17.800 You're right.

00:43:17.980 So, rationally...

00:43:19.080 Just baby food.

00:43:19.800 It is encapsulated by the peel.

00:43:22.780 Okay.

00:43:23.140 Cole, does your kid eat those...

00:43:24.380 Does your kid eat those little, like, in the packages like that?

00:43:27.480 The little squeezy things? 0.65

00:43:29.060 Oh, yeah.

00:43:29.460 He's...

00:43:29.740 Yeah, I'm like...

00:43:30.420 Yeah, those are great.

00:43:30.860 That's what it would be. 1.00

00:43:32.180 And now imagine you stuffing it in their vagina and a little kid having to eat it out of there. 1.00

00:43:34.960 Like, he's breastfeeding from a bitch. 1.00

00:43:36.560 Get a straw. 1.00

00:43:37.880 By the way, you could...

00:43:38.460 You could baby... 1.00

00:43:39.160 You could baby bird it out your pussy right now. 1.00

00:43:41.300 Oh, man. 1.00

00:43:43.140 Oh, my God.

00:43:45.640 The way...

00:43:46.600 All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. 0.99

00:43:47.720 Let me fucking... 1.00

00:43:48.400 Let me finish the rationale. 0.99

00:43:50.060 So, she's trying to...

00:43:51.720 She's... 1.00

00:43:52.600 She's drunk.

00:43:53.500 They're partying. 0.99

00:43:54.240 They're trying to fucking eat some nanners out of some poontang, right? 1.00

00:43:56.960 All good. 0.99

00:43:57.700 There's nothing wrong with this.

00:43:59.020 No, hold on, Clint.

00:44:00.320 Listen to me.

00:44:01.400 You shove the encased... 1.00

00:44:02.680 You shove the encased fucking banana into the pussy. 1.00

00:44:05.760 You can't then eat it while it's in there because the peel's still on it. 1.00

00:44:09.420 We're not animals here.

00:44:10.520 You can take the peel off. 1.00

00:44:11.440 It's in the pussy, Cole! 1.00

00:44:13.560 Do not... 1.00

00:44:14.060 Not fully.

00:44:15.180 Here, here. 1.00

00:44:15.580 It's in the pussy, Cole. 1.00

00:44:16.780 Clint, Clint. 1.00

00:44:17.720 Think how big a banana is, Clint.

00:44:18.800 I'm going to bring a banana just for you.

00:44:20.260 You're going to hold one side.

00:44:22.220 I can still peel the banana with it out.

00:44:25.040 Oh, and with what leverage? 1.00

00:44:26.220 And you're going to not just fucking have it flop out of the vagina, dude? 1.00

00:44:29.700 What do you think? 1.00

00:44:30.260 There's those loosey-goosey vaginas over in the Netherlands? 1.00

00:44:32.440 It's a stripper, bro! 1.00

00:44:34.100 Yeah! 1.00

00:44:35.160 Dude, even a stripper, I don't think a vagina could be deep enough. 1.00

00:44:39.280 Like, some of the bananas are going to be coming out of the pussy. 1.00

00:44:42.380 Oh, bro, you have so little experience with vaginas. 1.00

00:44:44.640 It's crazy. 1.00

00:44:45.160 Hold on.

00:44:45.620 I have a decent amount of experience of viewing...

00:44:49.840 We've got to stop here.

00:44:51.260 No, no, no.

00:44:51.700 We've got to stop here.

00:44:52.640 We've got to stop here. 1.00

00:44:53.460 I don't think a vagina could take... 1.00

00:44:55.200 It gives birth to children, and you think a vagina can't take a manor, dude? 1.00

00:44:59.180 Did he just say that? 0.99

00:44:59.860 I want to stop here.

00:45:00.700 Did I just miss that?

00:45:01.380 Yeah, he just said that. 1.00

00:45:02.700 Toad was like, I don't think a vagina's deep enough for a banana. 1.00

00:45:07.220 This motherfucker, dude. 1.00

00:45:08.520 You ain't ever going to please a woman. 1.00

00:45:10.200 I want to say the average banana is probably like eight inches long.

00:45:13.640 Yeah, dude.

00:45:14.900 Look, all right. 0.99

00:45:16.940 Most of the porn you watch, Toad, they have bigger pieces than bananas. 0.99

00:45:20.140 It's crazy. 1.00

00:45:20.980 I watch mostly lesbians, so I don't really know.

00:45:23.800 Yeah, you do. 1.00

00:45:25.360 Dude, even in your porn style, you don't like to see dicks going inside pussy. 1.00

00:45:29.560 It's fucking remarkable. 1.00

00:45:31.000 You have a phobia. 1.00

00:45:33.180 Yeah, I'm so anti-gay. 0.97

00:45:35.400 Is the phobia insertion? 1.00

00:45:37.020 The phobia is not pussy. 0.99

00:45:38.140 The phobia is insertion. 1.00

00:45:39.600 The phobia is pussy. 1.00

00:45:40.780 I think it's heterosexual sex. 1.00

00:45:42.440 He's afraid of him. 1.00

00:45:42.880 Have you eaten pussy? 1.00

00:45:45.680 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:46.460 Dude, I'm heterophobic for sure.

00:45:48.440 You can't watch what you can't have.

00:45:50.120 Toad, serious question. 1.00

00:45:51.340 Have you eaten pussy before? 1.00

00:45:54.940 No. 1.00

00:45:55.560 Well, I've been to an Asian restaurant.

00:45:56.660 Really?

00:45:57.500 I feel like that's all you would do.

00:46:00.400 That's all you'd want to do. 0.99

00:46:01.460 Well, Elizabeth said he's afraid he's going to like the dick more. 1.00

00:46:04.520 He's like a phobia. 1.00

00:46:06.300 That same stripper who bit me. 1.00

00:46:10.020 He's literally homophobic. 1.00

00:46:11.180 He's literally scared of the gays. 1.00

00:46:12.760 Toad, toad, toad, toad. 0.98

00:46:14.440 You asked me today if I would endorse your presidential run.

00:46:18.400 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:18.640 You've never even eaten a pussy, bro. 1.00

00:46:21.360 That's right. 1.00

00:46:21.580 I'm too focused on things that matter.

00:46:25.240 That is actually a pretty cool presidential thing.

00:46:26.800 On things that matter.

00:46:29.420 There's maybe nothing that matters more. 1.00

00:46:32.280 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

00:46:33.780 This is why I don't like the rumble chat. 1.00

00:46:35.320 They're saying shit like, stay wholesome, toad. 0.99

00:46:37.280 Important questions here. 1.00

00:46:38.340 I love the rumble chat.

00:46:39.320 We got the Christian conservatives rumbling for the grumblings.

00:46:42.400 Now, it got close one time.

00:46:46.020 The YouTube chat's wild.

00:46:47.320 I don't even know what does this mean.

00:46:49.540 Whatever.

00:46:50.200 That same stripper. 1.00

00:46:51.000 Yeah, that's right. 1.00

00:46:51.640 I'm afraid of the toothed vaginas. 1.00

00:46:53.460 That same stripper who was biting me, she basically tried to force me to eat her out at one point. 1.00

00:46:59.820 So that was probably the closest that I've been.

00:47:01.520 And you didn't let her? 0.99

00:47:03.660 Dude, I don't know where that pussy's been. 1.00

00:47:07.340 You don't know where any pussy's been. 1.00

00:47:09.700 You don't even know where to find it. 0.99

00:47:11.460 I know where it's not, Ben. 0.99

00:47:13.380 God damn it. 0.99

00:47:14.700 You got it. 1.00

00:47:15.120 You got it.

00:47:15.620 Right here. 1.00

00:47:16.780 Not in my mouth, bitch. 1.00

00:47:18.120 Not there. 1.00

00:47:19.100 Not there.

00:47:19.660 Back to the banana really quickly, by the way. 0.99

00:47:22.020 The way Clint phrased that where he was like, you put the banana in the vagina. 0.89

00:47:26.880 It kind of sounded like you put the lime in the coconut. 0.71

00:47:28.980 I still don't understand how Clint doesn't realize that you can still peel up.

00:47:34.080 It doesn't take that much to peel a banana. 1.00

00:47:36.620 Well, it's in a pussy. 1.00

00:47:37.440 If you're eating mushy bananas, but you got to put a firm one in the pussy, bro. 1.00

00:47:41.780 It's still, it is so easy to peel a banana. 1.00

00:47:44.500 You know what's really funny?

00:47:45.720 Because that makes no sense.

00:47:46.860 Then it's just like.

00:47:48.240 Just say those words if you tell somebody.

00:47:49.740 Yes. 1.00

00:47:50.420 She got a mushy ass. 1.00

00:47:51.300 No, no. 1.00

00:47:51.600 She put the nanner in there and made the mushy pushy? 1.00

00:47:53.840 Yeah.

00:47:55.140 You got to push it.

00:47:56.040 You got to give it a little push.

00:47:57.600 Oh, she got that mushy pushy?

00:47:59.200 No, that's because if the banana. 0.73

00:48:01.260 That's going to be a new thing.

00:48:02.440 This could be a new thing like.

00:48:03.640 Oh, yeah.

00:48:04.420 I'm sure it already is.

00:48:05.440 Never mind.

00:48:05.860 It probably already is. 1.00

00:48:06.580 I feel like I would want mushy pussy because that means it has the clamps. 1.00

00:48:10.720 If it's not mushy. 1.00

00:48:11.240 Because it's clamping down so hard, it's going to mush that banana up.

00:48:14.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:14.620 But if you had a loose vagina. 1.00

00:48:15.780 Oh, she got that mush mush. 1.00

00:48:17.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:17.900 If it's a loose vagina, it's going in there and it's coming out whole. 1.00

00:48:21.720 She got that mushy pushy. 1.00

00:48:23.760 I'm kind of.

00:48:24.520 Come here.

00:48:24.860 Come here, Aiden.

00:48:25.520 Let me tell you something, all right?

00:48:26.840 I know you're getting of age.

00:48:28.440 And what you're going to want in a young lady is like you meet her. 0.97

00:48:31.460 You peel an entire banana, eight inches. 1.00

00:48:33.360 You put it in her pussy. 1.00

00:48:34.260 If she can't mush it up into fine baby food, she's not the one for you. 1.00

00:48:38.320 If she doesn't baby bird it into your fucking degenerate ass mouth. 1.00

00:48:41.460 That's right. 1.00

00:48:42.220 Leave her. 1.00

00:48:42.620 I could see myself being into getting baby birded by a vagina. 1.00

00:48:47.220 That's right. 1.00

00:48:48.520 I've never even thought about it.

00:48:49.940 Now it's my biggest kink. 0.83

00:48:52.480 Baby bird all your meals.

00:48:53.560 Would you do a close up?

00:48:54.440 Or would you let her just like. 0.92

00:48:55.980 Ha-ha.

00:48:56.520 From my place.

00:48:57.820 Oh, no.

00:48:58.420 I feel like if she did it up too much, it would be like she would squeeze too hard 0.99

00:49:02.980 and shit right in my face. 0.99

00:49:05.100 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:49:06.500 Because I was just a big old turd right around. 1.00

00:49:09.060 Dude, you get banana in your mouth and shit in your eyes. 1.00

00:49:11.760 Dude, that's. 1.00

00:49:13.640 Dude, that's.

00:49:14.280 If you did that and you came right at the same time. 1.00

00:49:16.700 That's a judo shit right there. 1.00

00:49:17.360 That's a judo shit, Clint. 1.00

00:49:18.480 That's just called the. 1.00

00:49:19.400 Take it back.

00:49:20.320 That's just.

00:49:20.620 Yo.

00:49:20.940 Dude, that's the greatest visual of all time. 0.99

00:49:23.720 Yo, when we do the milking table, let's fucking trick. 1.00

00:49:26.420 Let's trick Toad. 0.99

00:49:27.180 Here, shut Toad off so he doesn't hear me. 0.99

00:49:29.400 We're going to trick Toad and we're going to have a bitch mush a puss or puss a mush 1.00

00:49:33.440 a banana into his mouth, but also shit in his eyes at the same time. 1.00

00:49:36.660 I think I already have. 1.00

00:49:37.820 I know I can hear.

00:49:38.720 I already have the sexual term for this, too.

00:49:40.240 Yes, I know you can hear it, Toad.

00:49:41.220 That was the bit.

00:49:41.680 I already have.

00:49:42.820 I already have the urban dictionary for this, too.

00:49:44.420 It's the chocolate covered banana is what it's called.

00:49:47.340 I was going to say that.

00:49:48.480 Or.

00:49:48.620 Because you know those bananas already get brown whenever they're bad, like super ripe.

00:49:57.300 So you just call it the brown banana.

00:49:59.020 And then like that's all.

00:50:00.160 And then just.

00:50:00.940 It would probably turn brown right away.

00:50:03.400 Like it would be like a like a white, yellow banana.

00:50:05.880 And once you once she mushes it up, it would be like brown. 0.81

00:50:08.820 Well, it'd be brown right away, depending on how hard she pushes.

00:50:11.760 Oh, God.

00:50:13.460 I can see taking all of my meals this way now.

00:50:16.860 Look, I haven't even got to the point that I want to make about this.

00:50:19.340 Okay.

00:50:19.500 I have a really.

00:50:20.500 Yeah, go ahead.

00:50:21.160 Sorry.

00:50:21.480 Yes. 1.00

00:50:21.800 Elizabeth just puts a steak in her pussy and just waits until it's all like. 1.00

00:50:25.200 Until the ass is just really like. 1.00

00:50:27.220 Oh, you got that 10 year age steak pussy? 1.00

00:50:30.620 That's a real juicy. 1.00

00:50:33.000 That's a juicy steak right there, man. 0.62

00:50:34.820 You eating that stussy right there? 1.00

00:50:35.940 Because the. 0.99

00:50:37.280 You got that stussy? 1.00

00:50:38.080 Elizabeth's like this, like just like squirting from the ceiling into his mouth. 0.99

00:50:44.080 And she's got A1 sauce and she's aiming it into his mouth. 1.00

00:50:46.820 Oh, my God.

00:50:48.920 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:50:51.160 And their son is just watching. 0.99

00:50:53.120 Apparently in the group chat, they're like, we fucked the other day with our son in the room. 0.98

00:50:56.100 I'm like, this is wild. 0.99

00:50:56.620 Don't tell me. 1.00

00:50:57.340 Don't tell me you never fucked in front of your child. 1.00

00:51:00.920 You did this to Toad and Aiden? 1.00

00:51:02.840 How dare you?

00:51:03.940 I know.

00:51:04.560 It's disrespectful.

00:51:05.260 This man has no chill.

00:51:06.500 You never had sex in front of your child. 0.93

00:51:08.120 Dude, Todd. 0.73

00:51:08.960 But think about it.

00:51:09.660 When they were a real baby, like real little.

00:51:11.120 Think about it.

00:51:11.620 He's eight months old.

00:51:13.620 Yeah, but.

00:51:14.940 I think that's too old. 1.00

00:51:15.960 I feel like after six months, you got to cut that shit out, guys. 1.00

00:51:18.500 Your kid's going to be a pervert. 1.00

00:51:19.700 Yeah, but here's the thing. 0.98

00:51:20.600 In both cases, with me watching and with Cole's son watching, neither of us are going to remember

00:51:26.000 any of it.

00:51:26.600 I wonder if that's what happened to Toad. 0.84

00:51:28.400 This is why your son's hair is red, because you continue to have sex in front of him and it's 0.98

00:51:31.820 making him demonic. 0.99

00:51:33.340 Stop it.

00:51:33.520 Did I tell you about what I said?

00:51:36.040 Did I tell you this last week? 0.99

00:51:37.200 All redhead people are demonic. 1.00

00:51:38.620 I mean, Cole's son is going to become. 0.99

00:51:40.940 Mostly Josie, though.

00:51:41.880 Yeah.

00:51:42.180 Cole's son is going to become me by doing this.

00:51:47.440 No.

00:51:47.760 My son is going to be.

00:51:48.440 All right.

00:51:48.480 Are you guys done?

00:51:49.380 Yes, go ahead.

00:51:50.120 Yes.

00:51:50.420 Because I would like to make my point.

00:51:50.900 Get to your point.

00:51:51.400 All right.

00:51:51.600 Please. 0.99

00:51:52.160 Here's my goddamn point. 0.99

00:51:53.380 If you have ever worked at the higher levels of business, this is standard operating procedure. 0.99

00:52:00.800 You have to test out your business associates. 0.87

00:52:03.860 You don't go, oh, we're just going to be all fucking hoity-toity. 0.93

00:52:07.900 No, no, no. 0.98

00:52:08.340 You get hammered.

00:52:09.700 You do cocaine. 1.00

00:52:10.860 You fuck bitches. 1.00

00:52:11.900 You do fucking crazy shit, because you want to have dirt on your business associates so 1.00

00:52:16.480 that when you guys get into the fucking trenches, you know that the guy next to you is a fucking 1.00

00:52:21.300 savage. 1.00

00:52:22.100 That's all Lizzo was doing.

00:52:23.680 She was testing her backup dancers. 0.94

00:52:25.360 By the way, Lizzo goes out of her way.

00:52:27.940 Interesting. 0.98

00:52:28.260 Lizzo goes out of her way to employ fat, worthless backup dancers, because she, and this is a 1.00

00:52:36.480 true story, because she wants to uplift these fat, worthless backup dancers, because no one 1.00

00:52:42.920 in their right mind wants to see them dance. 1.00

00:52:44.600 So this big, fat bitch, Lizzo, is so gangster that she hires these ungrateful, fat, worthless 1.00

00:52:50.640 backup dancers, and she brings them on tour to Europe, these fucking black people that 1.00

00:52:55.040 would never, ever leave America if not for Lizzo, and then they get there, and she's 1.00

00:52:59.560 like, hey, bitch, let's eat a fucking nanner out this tang, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:53:03.560 And then they're like, no thanks, worthless. 1.00

00:53:06.520 Just eat this little bannussi, and we're going to fucking go on stage. 0.99

00:53:09.520 Eat a bannussi, bro. 1.00

00:53:10.920 Do what you do 90% of your life.

00:53:13.140 Eat.

00:53:13.300 This is, this is called, this is called, this is a morale, this is a morale. 1.00

00:53:17.980 What if the problem wasn't that I was eating a banana out of a pussy, it was eating a fruit, 1.00

00:53:22.340 and they were just like. 1.00

00:53:24.800 These fat bitches are like, I'm not. 1.00

00:53:26.380 They were like, can you make a fried chicken instead, and I'll munch that shit up. 1.00

00:53:29.540 They're like, the fuck is that? 1.00

00:53:32.400 Fried chicken is another meal that you could eat out of a pussy. 1.00

00:53:35.720 This was it. 1.00

00:53:36.340 I'm going to think about all the meals you could.

00:53:37.760 Here's my broad point.

00:53:38.880 Would you, would you, I guess you would have to put like the, uh, the drumstick, and you

00:53:41.700 just.

00:53:42.040 The drumstick in there, yeah.

00:53:42.940 Yeah.

00:53:43.220 And she'd have to really.

00:53:44.820 Oh, dude.

00:53:45.380 Yeah, because, because.

00:53:47.380 You, you have to eat a drumstick from the side.

00:53:50.420 So, so she would have to be really flexible, open the legs all the way up, and then somehow 1.00

00:53:53.700 have.

00:53:54.000 Not if you love a drumstick enough, you ain't got to eat it from the side.

00:53:56.440 Literally, yeah. 0.99

00:53:57.240 I would just fucking. 0.99

00:53:58.000 I would just like this. 0.99

00:53:58.560 Oh.

00:53:59.360 Yeah, I would just straight up.

00:54:00.900 Come on.

00:54:01.180 That's what I'm saying. 1.00

00:54:01.640 She better hold it, motherfucker. 1.00

00:54:02.060 Have you ever tried to eat a drumstick like that? 1.00

00:54:04.300 She better hold it, because I'm sucking that thing. 1.00

00:54:05.900 I'm sucking the fucking meat right off of that drumstick. 1.00

00:54:07.660 You're crazy, bro. 1.00

00:54:08.380 No, no, no. 1.00

00:54:08.760 I'm going to have a battle. 1.00

00:54:09.660 I'm going to be like, yo, is your pussy better than my suction? 1.00

00:54:12.680 And then we just fucking figure it out. 1.00

00:54:14.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:14.540 Yeah, baby. 1.00

00:54:15.000 You've got that bone in that pussy there. 1.00

00:54:16.660 Let me suck it. 1.00

00:54:18.400 That's probably your thing. 1.00

00:54:20.180 Now that I think about it, that's almost certainly your thing.

00:54:23.260 That's right. 1.00

00:54:23.720 I'm envisioning, yeah, the chick having a dick, so that's why I like it. 1.00

00:54:26.840 If there's, you know, a bone in me. 1.00

00:54:28.500 Let me make my broad point.

00:54:29.600 It's a team-building exercise.

00:54:31.180 This is a trust fall. 0.99

00:54:32.500 This is fucking, this is exactly how you build camaraderie amongst the troops. 1.00

00:54:36.700 And everybody around her that fucking ratted, snitched on Lizzo's God-blessed heart. 1.00

00:54:41.660 Hose. 1.00

00:54:42.520 Yeah, they're hosed.

00:54:43.460 Thank you.

00:54:43.820 Thank you.

00:54:44.360 Lizzo's a hero.

00:54:45.320 You're right.

00:54:46.000 Yes.

00:54:46.340 That's my point.

00:54:47.640 Okay?

00:54:47.820 And look, if Tower Gang ever does anything in real life, which we rarely do, it's going to

00:54:53.560 be as, if not 10x more debaucherous than that.

00:54:58.020 So, prepare yourself.

00:54:59.820 And there's going to be no women. 0.99

00:55:01.340 It's going to be all dudes.

00:55:02.160 Oh, yeah.

00:55:02.680 It's exactly. 1.00

00:55:03.840 We're going to do the gayest shit imaginable. 1.00

00:55:06.040 And you know why? 1.00

00:55:06.780 Because we need to know who the fuck we are. 1.00

00:55:09.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:09.820 Dude, you're going to have to prepare for the, you're going to have to prepare for the bussy 1.00

00:55:15.040 banana.

00:55:15.680 That's how it's going to happen. 1.00

00:55:16.920 I think that they're going to, they might let Lizzo go with this shit, but if they do 0.99

00:55:21.420 R. Kelly her, then she'll make it on my Mount Rushmore with Bill Cosby, R. Kelly, Michael 0.99

00:55:26.100 Jackson, and then Lizzo did nothing wrong.

00:55:28.520 I think, you know, it's a courtesy of what she did.

00:55:31.860 If she did it the way we were talking about, peel, the peel of the banana, then peeled, and 1.00

00:55:36.340 then a little bit. 1.00

00:55:37.120 It's like, you're not even making contact with the pussy. 1.00

00:55:39.060 The banana's acting as a condom. 1.00

00:55:40.520 All you do is some eating this banana.

00:55:41.200 Both ways.

00:55:41.700 Both ways. 0.99

00:55:42.360 The way Clint did it and the way, like, neither way you're touching a vagina. 1.00

00:55:45.580 Yeah, that's true. 1.00

00:55:46.940 This is cool as shit. 1.00

00:55:48.560 You're more of a pussy. 1.00

00:55:49.660 Unless it's really cool when you deep throw all the banana all the way to the pussy lips. 1.00

00:55:54.460 That's what I do. 1.00

00:55:55.200 Suck the rest of the banana out. 0.99

00:55:56.620 It's like deep. 0.99

00:55:58.860 It just goes straight.

00:56:01.220 I just take a deep breath.

00:56:02.660 I just go, oh. 1.00

00:56:05.700 And then you give the little pussy a little kiss. 1.00

00:56:10.080 You say, thank you, bitch. 1.00

00:56:11.340 I totally never understand. 1.00

00:56:15.920 This is gangster shit. 1.00

00:56:16.360 I didn't like Lizzo before. 1.00

00:56:17.660 I actually really do like her after dissecting this.

00:56:20.020 It's really cool.

00:56:21.140 I just don't think they'll change my mind completely.

00:56:23.560 Because there's no jail big enough to put her in. 1.00

00:56:29.160 What are you going to put her in jail for? 1.00

00:56:32.220 God damn it, man. 0.99

00:56:33.300 For being awesome? 1.00

00:56:34.880 Look, all I want to say to Lizzo is, we got your fat back.

00:56:38.560 We got you, girl. 0.99

00:56:39.740 And your fat front. 0.50

00:56:41.080 And the sides. 0.99

00:56:42.200 And your fat feet. 0.85

00:56:43.520 We can't literally hold you up, but we are holding you up verbally. 0.99

00:56:47.480 That's right. 0.99

00:56:47.920 Can we get the chat just to give us, like, just start putting out things that would be the best foods to eat out of a vagina. 1.00

00:56:54.020 Or, if you're gay, a butt. 1.00

00:56:55.620 I think if you can put things in your butt, do you? 1.00

00:56:58.380 Do you guys think? 0.99

00:56:59.200 And I want to know if there's also, is there already a porn category for this?

00:57:03.040 Of course.

00:57:03.100 Is there already, like, a deep kink?

00:57:04.700 There definitely is, yeah.

00:57:06.340 There has to be. 1.00

00:57:06.820 You need things out of a pussy, yeah, for sure. 1.00

00:57:09.700 Do you think Lizzo has dreams? 1.00

00:57:12.120 Because, like, this is a thing.

00:57:13.640 We've already been over this. 0.99

00:57:14.720 Black people don't dream, dude. 1.00

00:57:15.820 I know, but the behavior she's exhibiting here, it's such cool behavior. 0.99

00:57:19.040 It's one of a dreamer.

00:57:20.080 That's a great point.

00:57:20.540 It is.

00:57:21.000 Yeah, like, she's had this, have seen this in a dream.

00:57:22.920 And she's like, I'm going to make these niggas do this. 1.00

00:57:26.120 It makes me think. 1.00

00:57:27.540 I'll make these fat, wordless bitches that can't dance eat some pussy banana. 1.00

00:57:31.020 Hey, by the way, Alex Emmons said spaghetti and said, oh, Lady and the Tramp. 1.00

00:57:38.140 No, but, but, but, no, no, no.

00:57:39.640 But, oh, Lady and the Tramp. 1.00

00:57:41.060 So, it's the whole thing of where her vagina is pulling spaghetti and you have to get it. 1.00

00:57:46.260 Yo, if you got a girl with a pussy that's tight enough to hold some spaghetti, you need to wipe that bitch. 1.00

00:57:51.780 The guac. 1.00

00:57:52.680 Imagine eating guac out of there.

00:57:54.680 Yo, if I ever get, like, super rich, that's what I'm going to do.

00:57:57.740 I'm just going to have, like, you know those parties where, like, the girl lays naked and they eat sushi?

00:58:02.320 Yeah, the sushi.

00:58:03.360 Yeah, sushi women. 1.00

00:58:04.080 It's going to be like that. 0.84

00:58:04.900 It's going to be a naked girl. 1.00

00:58:06.480 But, like, it's just, like, tacos.

00:58:07.980 But she's, like, a vending machine. 0.89

00:58:09.720 And she just, and you just, like, she has to stop.

00:58:12.580 Yeah.

00:58:12.920 Like, I want some sauce.

00:58:13.660 I want some guac. 0.99

00:58:14.260 Yeah, you press her nipple and something else comes out of her. 1.00

00:58:17.580 No, you press her nipple for sour cream. 1.00

00:58:19.980 Her pussy puts out the guac. 1.00

00:58:21.420 You get the carne asada from her ass. 1.00

00:58:25.800 Carne asada. 1.00

00:58:26.320 You got some refried beans, bitch. 1.00

00:58:27.620 It's the human taco machine. 1.00

00:58:28.940 You got some refried beans and she just shits on your plate. 1.00

00:58:34.040 Yo, tell me rich white people wouldn't pay for that shit, dude. 1.00

00:58:37.260 Yo, let's create a business. 1.00

00:58:38.940 We need more coke. 1.00

00:58:40.040 Let's make a business like this and just rent out these girls to do this shit. 1.00

00:58:44.000 And rich white people. 1.00

00:58:45.360 Obama wouldn't be able to shoot this house. 0.98

00:58:46.480 Clamberger Helper.

00:58:51.320 That's amazing.

00:58:52.460 Clamberger Helper.

00:58:53.400 Oh, dude.

00:58:53.680 I love our Metro Heal fans.

00:58:55.220 This is, we're, like, an hour into the show.

00:58:57.280 And we've already had at least seven show names.

00:59:00.000 It's crazy.

00:59:00.900 Clamberger Helper's a crazy show. 0.94

00:59:02.280 You know what?

00:59:03.020 With my open that I was rudely interrupted on, I made it very explicit as to why we got

00:59:08.500 rid of the dead weight.

00:59:09.400 The gorilla is over on Timcast IRL.

00:59:11.300 And it's just pure bangers over here tonight.

00:59:12.720 Y'all want to do some Coles Clip Corner?

00:59:15.020 Because, uh...

00:59:15.740 Well...

00:59:16.420 We're just rolling along. 1.00

00:59:19.020 Let's throw a fucking log in the middle of it. 1.00

00:59:21.000 Well, dude, fuck you. 1.00

00:59:22.220 It went great last week. 1.00

00:59:23.500 And now we're in 1080p.

00:59:24.980 This is going to bang, dude.

00:59:26.200 I think it was great in comparison to the previous week, but also... 0.99

00:59:30.440 Shut up, Toad. 0.93

00:59:31.840 Yeah, but I do have to point out, though... 1.00

00:59:33.880 Shut the fuck up, Toad. 1.00

00:59:35.820 Oh! 1.00

00:59:38.240 Toad Cole's on the list.

00:59:39.500 He's going to get so mad.

00:59:40.960 He's going to get so mad.

00:59:41.440 You can't interrupt the intro to Coles Clip Corner.

00:59:44.060 Listen, well, we do still have Andrew...

00:59:47.060 I said we're going to wait on Andrew until Jose gets back, because he will be upset if

00:59:51.760 he misses that last one.

00:59:52.660 All right, so we'll do Coles Clip Corner. 0.99

00:59:55.160 No one loves that racist little midget more than the racist midget. 1.00

00:59:58.120 Why don't we watch it and then do it again next week? 0.98

01:00:00.560 All right, we'll do this one.

01:00:01.040 I don't know if we didn't see it.

01:00:02.040 That would be very funny.

01:00:03.120 Yeah, all right.

01:00:03.640 He's not going to watch this.

01:00:05.080 Jesus.

01:00:05.200 Yes, he will.

01:00:06.220 No, he won't.

01:00:06.620 You think he will?

01:00:07.420 Yeah.

01:00:07.600 I don't think he will.

01:00:08.040 I think he does. 0.99

01:00:08.400 Because we clown him so much, and I'm going to fucking tell him about it. 0.99

01:00:11.600 Oh, yeah, that's right. 1.00

01:00:12.400 We spent 30 minutes killing him. 0.88

01:00:14.860 I forgot. 0.98

01:00:15.640 Oh, my God.

01:00:16.660 All right.

01:00:17.240 All right, pull it up, Toad.

01:00:18.540 You can just go down through whatever ones.

01:00:20.060 I don't think we removed the ones out of there from that we did last week, but I think I

01:00:23.420 have new ones in there that have.

01:00:24.940 We did not remove them.

01:00:26.360 You were correct.

01:00:27.420 I think so.

01:00:28.980 I want to do that next time.

01:00:29.920 Make sure.

01:00:30.420 Because I don't want to repeat any of these.

01:00:32.940 But I added some.

01:00:34.300 I think in there now are some car crashes.

01:00:37.980 There's some, again, kind of the whole kind of thing I went through last week. 0.97

01:00:42.220 Car crashes, memes, weird shit I find. 0.92

01:00:45.580 Oh, yeah. 0.97

01:00:45.820 Here's a good one.

01:00:46.400 Yeah.

01:00:46.540 Put that full screen, please.

01:00:48.180 All right.

01:00:48.620 Hell, yeah.

01:00:52.500 Oh, my God.

01:00:54.660 And they're about 10-15, 10-15 roll over.

01:00:57.360 How's he taking the last immediate roll?

01:00:59.780 Man, the Dukes of Hazzard.

01:01:00.720 There's a car chase. 0.95

01:01:01.560 The Dukes of Hazzard remake is really fucking going off the engine. 0.91

01:01:04.500 Go back because it's a cop, and I don't know why. 0.96

01:01:07.540 Yeah, that one is actually police body cam footage.

01:01:10.040 Why were they already there?

01:01:11.200 And this guy just saw his opportunity, and he took it.

01:01:14.660 Go back to full screen.

01:01:15.600 And what's crazy is, watch it.

01:01:19.720 It flips back over, and it's right side up.

01:01:23.140 It's right side up.

01:01:24.260 Exactly.

01:01:24.860 He can keep going.

01:01:26.240 I'm still going to send it.

01:01:27.620 Are you serious?

01:01:29.760 Technically, technically, he landed it. 0.99

01:01:33.420 That guy is a goddamn legend. 0.97

01:01:35.080 That looks as if someone watched the entire 10 Fast and the Furious movies, got out of the freeway, and just thought he was in the movie. 0.99

01:01:42.620 Honestly, I never thought.

01:01:43.680 I can do this. 1.00

01:01:44.500 The thing to me is like, oh, that shit actually works. 0.99

01:01:47.800 You actually can ramp off of that stuff. 1.00

01:01:50.100 That's an intrusive thought.

01:01:51.480 That guy acted on one of his intrusive thoughts.

01:01:53.800 And you know what?

01:01:54.460 Good for him.

01:01:55.240 He's doing 80 on this small road, and he just saw it.

01:01:58.780 Think about the mindset.

01:02:00.800 He's coming from there, and he's like, look at that pickup truck.

01:02:04.020 I mean, look at that tow truck.

01:02:05.100 The bed is down.

01:02:06.200 I bet you I could do it.

01:02:07.100 And just said, what?

01:02:07.680 And did it.

01:02:08.300 It's like, wow, the conviction, man.

01:02:09.580 We need that guy for president. 0.94

01:02:10.960 That guy for president. 1.00

01:02:12.040 Fuck you, Tony. 1.00

01:02:12.600 If he's alive, he has my endorsement. 1.00

01:02:16.460 Now, did that driver, did the driver do it intentionally, or was he like rubbernecking because of whatever was going on that brought the cops there?

01:02:24.040 It was a woman. 0.60

01:02:25.240 Yeah, it probably was, actually.

01:02:28.480 She's doing her makeup or something. 0.99

01:02:30.420 Can you imagine doing that on accident and just perfectly hitting the ramp and being like halfway up and you realize, oh, shit. 0.99

01:02:37.960 And then you land right side up, and you press the pedal, and it keeps going. 0.98

01:02:42.420 And you're like, all right.

01:02:44.540 You get home, and she's like, babe, I hit a curb. 0.57

01:02:47.200 No.

01:02:47.440 It's just like, hold, hold.

01:02:50.840 She's just 18 rolls. 0.89

01:02:52.860 There's no way a woman could pull that off. 1.00

01:02:54.520 It's got to be like a stunt driver.

01:02:56.700 Oh, he said it really was a woman texting and driving. 0.99

01:03:00.140 That's hilarious.

01:03:01.300 He's not even joking.

01:03:02.880 That's so great.

01:03:04.040 That's his thing.

01:03:04.740 Official nap time.

01:03:05.640 We got to – I don't know if we should have him on or it would be fun for us to go on his show.

01:03:10.020 I love –

01:03:10.300 I've been on his show.

01:03:10.920 It was good.

01:03:11.120 I've been on his show as well, yeah.

01:03:13.140 All of us together.

01:03:13.920 I said it – I think I said it when I was on his show that he might be one of the sexiest men in the libertarian movement.

01:03:19.640 He is very handsome.

01:03:20.780 We're all coming on your show.

01:03:23.380 He looks like Top Lobster.

01:03:24.340 We're coming on your show. 1.00

01:03:24.360 Fuck you. 1.00

01:03:26.260 He thinks he's a very sexy man. 1.00

01:03:27.460 All right.

01:03:27.780 Next one, Toad.

01:03:28.660 Exactly.

01:03:29.560 All right.

01:03:30.820 Next up.

01:03:35.080 Seriously, guys.

01:03:41.260 If you don't see people stealing. 0.99

01:03:45.960 So, they're obviously black. 1.00

01:03:48.900 Oh, they're black. 1.00

01:03:50.360 Oh, they're black. 1.00

01:03:50.400 Wow. 0.99

01:03:50.580 It kind of smells like pot around here, too.

01:03:53.780 Wow.

01:03:54.080 What are they stealing?

01:03:55.540 Do you own mine?

01:03:56.380 Hey, guys.

01:03:56.740 Just left for your name while you're at it.

01:03:57.900 No, Hennessy.

01:03:58.820 Alcohol.

01:03:59.360 I think it is alcohol.

01:04:00.500 I think they're putting it in bags.

01:04:02.240 Yeah.

01:04:03.500 It's definitely alcohol.

01:04:04.580 Here comes police.

01:04:05.700 You might want to drop it.

01:04:07.240 Here they are.

01:04:07.820 They're coming right around the corner.

01:04:08.800 Here they come. 1.00

01:04:09.760 You're screwed. 0.99

01:04:10.500 Hey, you forgot something. 0.99

01:04:13.540 I think he misunderstands their commitment to the bit here. 0.93

01:04:16.080 They're just like, I just can't believe, like, just right out in the fucking open. 0.91

01:04:21.400 I'm going to do it. 0.99

01:04:22.360 They do it all the time.

01:04:22.940 Hey, we got the license plate.

01:04:24.280 San Francisco.

01:04:24.960 That's like constant.

01:04:25.520 That's a AC 40977.

01:04:30.100 Oh, boy.

01:04:30.680 By the way, Clint, so you – oh, Wiley. 0.79

01:04:32.960 Damn, that was a quick – you've talked about, like, getting involved with – because 0.97

01:04:38.360 it's stopping my mom cutting that chicken up. 1.00

01:04:41.020 Would you get involved with doing that?

01:04:42.840 Would you start filming?

01:04:43.600 No.

01:04:43.740 Because you said you – no, you wouldn't.

01:04:45.200 I wouldn't.

01:04:45.620 I wouldn't film it.

01:04:47.060 I wouldn't intervene. 0.99

01:04:48.080 It's the business's own fucked up – 0.97

01:04:48.940 Would you join? 0.99

01:04:50.380 No.

01:04:51.080 I'd be like, oh, are we looting?

01:04:54.940 Oh, are we looting today?

01:04:56.940 Yes.

01:04:57.240 Did you see how fast those people were driving?

01:04:58.520 Like, when they're late for a Black Guns Matter rally, you leave them alone.

01:05:02.900 You don't record them.

01:05:04.240 You don't bother them.

01:05:05.060 You know what would be great is as they get into their car and he's like, you better get

01:05:08.740 out of here.

01:05:09.340 You're making a huge mistake.

01:05:10.520 They get in the car and then they burn out and then they go right off that ramp.

01:05:14.340 That's in the other video.

01:05:16.220 Don't play it in the wrong order.

01:05:17.880 Yeah, dude.

01:05:18.380 That's true.

01:05:18.980 Yeah.

01:05:19.200 It was actually – it was the same person.

01:05:21.140 Yeah.

01:05:21.300 Dude, I would just join them.

01:05:23.300 Get some free Henny out of it. 1.00

01:05:25.000 Let's go.

01:05:25.700 It is crazy whenever you, like, see them.

01:05:27.380 Like, there was that video, I think, from the BLM riots whenever they, like, got in

01:05:32.700 that Target and it was just like, whoosh, and they just cleared everything out.

01:05:37.580 Like, at that moment, I'm like, would I not loot at that moment?

01:05:42.000 Like, if I was for some reason there –

01:05:43.280 Oh, that's the question to ask.

01:05:44.840 Not would you stop them.

01:05:46.060 Would you join them?

01:05:47.360 Because, like I said earlier –

01:05:47.980 If they were literally looting a store, like, and you were like, I've been needing a new 80-inch TV.

01:05:53.500 I'll say this. 0.96

01:05:54.380 And it's right fucking there. 0.98

01:05:54.980 When I was 18, 19, 20, I probably would have looted with them. 0.99

01:05:58.440 But there's not a chance in the fucking hell I would loot with them now. 0.98

01:06:02.540 Elizabeth's like, yes. 0.99

01:06:04.200 She's like, yeah, I'm looting.

01:06:06.300 Well, I'll be honest here.

01:06:08.340 I steal from Walmart.

01:06:09.900 Often.

01:06:10.800 And I consider – I don't know if that's considered looting, but I've gotten quite efficient at it.

01:06:16.060 What do I consider efficient at it?

01:06:17.520 I think it's called thievery.

01:06:19.860 I think if you steal in, like, a less violent way, if it's peaceful stealing, it's not considered looting.

01:06:26.780 Top, do you just do the whole, like, scan something and then just put two in at the –

01:06:32.860 Yeah, I go like this.

01:06:34.340 I scan one, and then the next one I go, boop, like, with my mouth.

01:06:40.220 And the black people watching the self-checkout are like, there's that beep that's here, too? 1.00

01:06:49.780 What the fuck? 0.99

01:06:52.780 Every time I make the beep, the person watching me just hits up at the – 1.00

01:06:56.100 Put a better in your smoke detector, motherfucker. 1.00

01:06:59.620 I swear to God, I got some tinnitus or something because I hear this beep all day. 1.00

01:07:04.440 I thought it was just in my house, but now I'm here every time this motherfucker walks in here. 0.99

01:07:07.900 What is this meme about black people not putting batteries in their smoke detectors? 1.00

01:07:12.360 I don't – 0.96

01:07:12.720 I just think they just don't.

01:07:14.460 They just don't do it.

01:07:15.180 Okay, no, it's not that we think that they don't.

01:07:16.720 They don't.

01:07:17.680 But, like, I couldn't even sleep if that was the case.

01:07:20.220 Like, how do they do that?

01:07:21.060 It's because they're afraid of –

01:07:22.520 They're afraid of beeps, right?

01:07:25.080 That's why they don't dream. 0.99

01:07:26.380 We fucking solved it. 0.98

01:07:27.780 You've got to get into, like, REM. 0.99

01:07:29.940 You've got to get into REM, but they sleep every 10 minutes.

01:07:33.060 That's why they're also so angry because they only continue to sleep.

01:07:35.780 Yeah, they're just irritable.

01:07:36.680 They haven't got enough sleep.

01:07:38.200 Well, listen, I had a smoke detector, and when the battery was, like, dying, it started, like, sounding like a cricket up there. 0.67

01:07:45.260 So maybe black people are offended by it because it sounds like a cricket.

01:07:49.900 I knew you would apologize. 0.97

01:07:51.420 I understand why he's so cranky now.

01:07:53.060 And, you know, it's not right for me to single you out like that.

01:07:55.420 I get it.

01:07:55.900 I get cranky when I don't sleep, too.

01:07:57.940 But I'll just send you a 9-volt battery.

01:08:00.140 This is easy.

01:08:01.300 This is fixable. 0.98

01:08:01.780 We can fix this whole – one 9-volt battery, I can get this motherfucker out the whole movement. 0.99

01:08:05.320 It'll just be – 0.97

01:08:05.820 Maybe –

01:08:06.140 Honestly, I wonder if they don't –

01:08:08.240 What would I do this whole time?

01:08:10.000 I wonder if they don't replace the batteries because, like, maybe batteries are held in a more secure location that they can't steal it.

01:08:16.160 And so they're just like, I can't – I'm not going to buy them.

01:08:18.760 That's kind of true, yeah.

01:08:20.380 Maybe food – you can't purchase batteries with food stamps.

01:08:23.160 We need government-subsidized batteries for real.

01:08:29.140 Like, as a libertarian, I mean, if you really want to solve these issues, as a libertarian, be like, listen, I'm against the state completely.

01:08:35.760 But we really got – we got to just start giving out batteries.

01:08:38.720 I'm going to fix a societal problem right here, right now.

01:08:41.600 Yeah, we could empty out the prisons in, like, five years if we just bought a bunch of batteries. 0.94

01:08:45.500 Well, yeah, it's weird that blacks – it's weird that blacks are apparently afraid of batteries because they commit battery a lot. 0.99

01:08:56.580 Jesus Christ. 0.99

01:08:57.160 Oh, my God.

01:08:57.720 All right, next video, Toad.

01:08:59.600 I need to clear my mouth out of that one.

01:09:01.860 Go on.

01:09:04.440 All right, all right.

01:09:05.040 I need a palate cleanser, please, really quickly, Toad.

01:09:07.320 Pull something up.

01:09:07.920 Jesus Christ.

01:09:08.500 I'm doing –

01:09:09.160 Dude, you're – 1.00

01:09:09.800 Power cleanser, like, fried chicken out of a pussy, please. 1.00

01:09:11.180 Oh, this is – 1.00

01:09:12.000 I saw this, and I was like, Toad.

01:09:14.960 Press F, Toad.

01:09:16.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:17.260 Oh. 1.00

01:09:18.300 Yeah, keep it up, assholes, because guess what? 1.00

01:09:20.520 One day I'm going to get laid by the hottest of age gotchick that's biologically female. 1.00

01:09:27.040 Yeah. 0.99

01:09:27.940 And it's going to be consensual and she'll be alive.

01:09:31.660 Start it over, start it over, start it over.

01:09:33.020 Yeah, start it over, because this guy is so great.

01:09:35.420 I talked over it. 0.99

01:09:36.200 Yeah, keep it up, assholes, because guess what? 1.00

01:09:38.860 One day I'm going to get laid by the hottest of age gotchick that's biologically female. 1.00

01:09:46.420 And it's going to be consensual and she'll be alive. 1.00

01:09:49.580 And on top of that, y'all are going to be jealous as fuck, because I ain't going to say shit about it. 0.99

01:09:54.540 Because quite frankly, that's none of your business. 0.99

01:09:56.860 Oh, my God.

01:09:57.500 A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.

01:09:59.640 Oh, my God.

01:10:01.240 Oh, my God.

01:10:01.300 Look at his lips.

01:10:01.940 Was that real?

01:10:02.860 No, it was a filter.

01:10:03.700 No, no.

01:10:04.460 But is that not –

01:10:05.640 Oh, my God.

01:10:06.460 Toad was literally, like, not finding us away from this.

01:10:11.320 So he was, like, us becoming his –

01:10:13.420 We pulled you from the brink, bro.

01:10:15.360 Listen, I love how he's, like, she's got to be alive.

01:10:18.340 She's got to be of age.

01:10:19.320 Yeah, yeah.

01:10:19.680 She's got to be biologically a woman. 1.00

01:10:22.440 It's one of those people you know is lying. 0.99

01:10:26.500 So he has to specify all of those things, because what he's actually going to do is rape a dead little boy, I believe, is where we arrived. 0.99

01:10:34.220 I get it. 0.99

01:10:34.840 Probably.

01:10:37.280 Oh, my God.

01:10:38.140 I saw that.

01:10:38.820 I couldn't help but, like, again, I said this last week where I do think of people when I watch these.

01:10:43.860 I think there's one I thought of, Clint.

01:10:45.400 I think it's in here somewhere.

01:10:46.640 Dude, this kid looks like – 1.00

01:10:49.160 The reason he made this video is because he was getting nothing but comments saying, 0.99

01:10:53.260 You look like a dude who rapes dead little boys. 0.98

01:10:55.860 And he's like, nah, son. 1.00

01:10:59.700 I don't do that. 0.98

01:11:00.760 I'm going to do the exact motherfucking opposite. 0.99

01:11:04.100 Crazy. 0.99

01:11:05.560 Oh, he actually has –

01:11:06.740 Junkie Jeff knows his YouTube, which is not surprising. 0.98

01:11:11.280 His name is King Cobra Jesus fucking S. 0.98

01:11:15.040 King Cobra JFS. 0.99

01:11:16.920 Oh, man.

01:11:18.640 No, I don't know.

01:11:19.940 Well, he could be a gold mine forever.

01:11:23.240 Yeah, I know.

01:11:24.200 Oh, yeah, that is true.

01:11:25.320 I probably found this on a cringy –

01:11:28.200 I'm going to have to look him up now.

01:11:29.760 This is crazy.

01:11:30.920 All right, go ahead and run this up.

01:11:31.660 What was his name again?

01:11:33.200 King Cobra JFS.

01:11:35.300 A-A-A-JFS.

01:11:37.120 All right.

01:11:37.440 Okay.

01:11:39.520 Alicia, I think she's running out.

01:11:41.660 Oh, I saw this one.

01:11:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:43.360 Oh, another victim of his batterylessness.

01:11:46.320 Whoa! 0.71

01:11:47.440 Holy –

01:11:48.000 She's just shooting. 1.00

01:11:48.840 She's firing, man. 1.00

01:11:51.420 Holy shit. 1.00

01:11:52.340 How long till Clint dates her? 0.99

01:11:53.780 Yeah, right?

01:11:57.520 Or just after Clint dates a woman.

01:12:01.940 This is the freeway for all of my exes to take away from my house.

01:12:07.180 What stage of dating Clint is she in right now?

01:12:11.440 This is eight hours after we part ways.

01:12:13.980 Man.

01:12:15.920 Oh, my God.

01:12:16.700 Guys, I just found something, and I don't even know what it is, but I feel like I have

01:12:21.800 to bring it up because it's like – just the screenshot of this is just enough for me

01:12:27.080 to be like, okay.

01:12:27.860 That's what he looks like now?

01:12:29.240 Oh, God.

01:12:29.680 I have no clue what this is about.

01:12:31.700 Let's listen.

01:12:32.200 Wait. 0.99

01:12:36.480 I don't know what the fuck happened there. 0.99

01:12:38.100 Yeah. 0.99

01:12:38.380 What the –

01:12:39.020 I don't know what's going on here.

01:12:50.360 Homeboy's got the laziest eye on earth. 1.00

01:12:54.960 That is so stupid. 1.00

01:12:56.640 This is the whole – sorry. 1.00

01:12:57.820 That's the whole video?

01:12:58.560 His left eye is on – his left eye is on food stamps.

01:13:04.180 That's true. 1.00

01:13:06.480 He's got the nigger eye, baby. 1.00

01:13:08.840 You don't have to make it explicit, Toad. 0.99

01:13:11.060 Jesus.

01:13:11.760 That's a callback. 0.97

01:13:14.020 It's a callback to the word nigger because we say it every five seconds. 0.98

01:13:17.100 No, it's a callback to that black woman who was offended by the word lazy, and I used 0.98

01:13:23.120 that term to make Cole laugh.

01:13:24.460 Oh, he did.

01:13:24.720 That's true.

01:13:25.400 It's one of my best jokes for making Cole laugh.

01:13:27.940 I'll tell you the truth.

01:13:28.720 This video has 140,000 views, and it just says – the name of it is Magic Cigarette

01:13:34.260 Trick, and he doesn't do anything but smoke a cigarette the whole time.

01:13:37.800 It's 30 seconds.

01:13:38.660 140,000. 1.00

01:13:39.320 What the fuck is going on in the world? 0.99

01:13:40.660 I don't understand. 0.98

01:13:41.440 Obviously, we're not playing the algorithms properly.

01:13:44.320 No.

01:13:45.300 Yeah.

01:13:45.560 But we also don't have lazy eyes, and we should work on that.

01:13:49.120 That's true.

01:13:49.520 I think we're – is this –

01:13:51.140 We got eight fully employed eyes right here.

01:13:55.200 All right.

01:13:55.560 Yeah, I think we got – I just thought –

01:13:56.860 You got one more.

01:13:57.600 I could not believe this is – like, I don't know what I would do if I saw this.

01:14:01.800 Just like – just –

01:14:03.100 Did you saw it?

01:14:04.380 You got to run her over. 0.86

01:14:04.980 You got to run her over, right?

01:14:06.940 Would you run her over?

01:14:08.120 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:14:08.660 She's fucking – she's popping shots, bro. 1.00

01:14:10.740 I'm kidding. 1.00

01:14:11.480 It's self-defense.

01:14:13.040 Not the Corvette.

01:14:13.600 It's self-defense.

01:14:14.660 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:14:15.780 I'm going to see how far I can launch this bitch. 1.00

01:14:18.420 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:18.740 If you go past her – 1.00

01:14:19.220 Is it a bitch? 1.00

01:14:19.680 I don't even know. 1.00

01:14:20.400 Yeah, it's a woman. 0.95

01:14:20.840 If you try to drive away from her, she'll shoot at you, right?

01:14:23.280 Because now you're in front of her.

01:14:24.180 So I'm like, you're giving me no option, but I have to run you over.

01:14:27.200 Well, here. 0.99

01:14:27.680 I'll tell you what the worst motherfucking option is. 0.99

01:14:29.400 You stop 100 feet away from her, and you just start videoing it. 0.99

01:14:33.780 Yeah.

01:14:34.480 Insane.

01:14:35.580 You're playing with fire, boy. 1.00

01:14:37.240 Yeah, you fucking – you redline your Corvette right through that bitch. 1.00

01:14:41.720 Maybe the assumption – 1.00

01:14:45.140 A Corvette might cut her in half. 1.00

01:14:47.080 That's not like with that pony fucking nose. 1.00

01:14:48.920 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:49.040 You might just slice her. 1.00

01:14:50.400 I go, hey, welcome to the new generation Stingray, bitch. 1.00

01:14:53.980 Well, you know what you've got to do is you've got to try to – 0.99

01:14:56.100 It wouldn't kill her, though. 0.98

01:14:56.960 It would cut her legs off, and then she'd still be shooting at you. 1.00

01:14:59.820 No, no. 1.00

01:15:00.200 You've got to aim for the neck.

01:15:01.180 That's all right. 0.99

01:15:01.360 That mushy puss. 0.94

01:15:02.740 Yeah, you've got to get some air. 1.00

01:15:04.360 Get some air on your car so you hit her in the neck. 0.99

01:15:07.560 That's what you need to do. 1.00

01:15:09.420 She's not black. 0.97

01:15:10.280 This lady was Spanish. 1.00

01:15:11.640 What?

01:15:11.740 That looks Spanish, by the way.

01:15:13.580 Yeah, you're right.

01:15:14.680 I think it does look Spanish. 0.99

01:15:15.420 God damn it. 0.99

01:15:16.140 Dude, whenever I see somebody just committing a crime, I just – 0.99

01:15:18.660 No.

01:15:18.820 I make assumptions.

01:15:19.780 I'm sorry.

01:15:20.120 No, I feel like that looks like it's too light to be black. 0.59

01:15:23.100 That has to be like a Hispanic woman. 1.00

01:15:25.140 Oh, man.

01:15:25.700 I feel like.

01:15:26.340 All right.

01:15:26.680 I saw the unedited version.

01:15:30.260 It is a Spanish woman.

01:15:31.620 She has a –

01:15:32.300 Okay, so this one is another stealing one.

01:15:34.080 We don't have to do this one because we already had one stealing.

01:15:36.080 I think I found a couple stealing things.

01:15:37.940 You ever seen somebody that's legitimately crazy but is like kind of hot?

01:15:41.440 I mean not like –

01:15:42.240 Go to the next one, Toad.

01:15:43.840 I mean somebody that's like –

01:15:45.140 Yeah.

01:15:45.980 Somebody that's like verifiable in an institution crazy where you're like still very like still

01:15:51.780 kind of hot.

01:15:52.760 Like they're like pissing on themselves in diapers where you're like kind of hot.

01:15:57.280 Nobody's ever seen someone like this?

01:15:58.760 I don't – 0.97

01:15:59.900 I thought you were just talking about like a crazy woman. 0.99

01:16:02.400 Then you're like, no, she's actually mentally insane, like clinically insane. 0.99

01:16:06.980 When do you encounter these people?

01:16:08.840 I don't encounter them because I would date them if I did.

01:16:11.100 I used to live in the hood.

01:16:13.820 So there's a lot of these people. 0.99

01:16:15.660 They're borderline like either they're really crazy or they're like psychotic. 0.93

01:16:21.040 You ever see those NEMS video where he's like don't ever disrespect me and there's people 0.96

01:16:24.420 walking by him and he's just roasting them?

01:16:26.360 I was sending them in the chat a while ago. 1.00

01:16:28.100 He's like don't ever disrespect me looking like Charlie Chaplin walking out in his motherfucker. 0.99

01:16:31.360 Yo, that's how people are in Coney Island. 0.99

01:16:33.260 Half the people you see, you could just sit there and roast them all day because they're 1.00

01:16:36.340 fucking crazy. 1.00

01:16:37.240 Like a Mexican guy with a limp will just like walk by you like this and you're like what the 1.00

01:16:40.780 fuck is going on here? 1.00

01:16:41.580 It reminds me of old downtown Vegas. 1.00

01:16:43.500 It used to be like a fucking Barnes and Bailey circus. 1.00

01:16:45.620 There'd be so many fucking freak shows. 0.99

01:16:47.100 You could literally, you could literally pay an admission and just be like, come see the 0.99

01:16:50.400 freaks.

01:16:51.080 Dude, Fremont Street.

01:16:52.120 Yeah.

01:16:52.680 Fremont Street.

01:16:53.260 I literally had somebody like doing the zip line and they pissed themselves while on the

01:16:57.280 zip line.

01:16:57.680 And it was like raining down on Fremont Street when I was there.

01:17:00.280 Of course.

01:17:00.940 Why not?

01:17:02.380 Like there isn't a day that goes by.

01:17:04.080 There's not an hour that goes by that doesn't happen on Fremont Street.

01:17:07.500 Charlie Chaplin, by the way, I love him because he's the only person who is still respected

01:17:11.500 who wears the Hitler mustache.

01:17:13.640 No, that's not true.

01:17:14.660 Michael Jordan.

01:17:15.620 Oh, I thought you were going to say Hitler.

01:17:17.720 And Hitler. 0.92

01:17:18.580 Oh.

01:17:18.800 It just depends on who you're talking about with respect to him.

01:17:24.200 Okay, go.

01:17:25.420 Let's play this one.

01:17:26.700 Full screen. 1.00

01:17:27.220 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

01:17:29.840 Get in your car, dude. 1.00

01:17:31.360 Get in your car.

01:17:32.880 I'm in my car. 1.00

01:17:34.700 Fuck. 1.00

01:17:35.700 That's fair. 1.00

01:17:41.120 I just love that.

01:17:43.920 I love that someone just like go crazy at each other and be like, oh, that's actually

01:17:48.020 a good point.

01:17:48.540 I'm just going to, I'll see you.

01:17:50.100 You got me there.

01:17:50.840 Oh, my God.

01:17:51.860 You know what's crazy?

01:17:52.920 This works with my kids.

01:17:54.180 My son has been having like really bad tantrums and I'll just like, I'll let him like.

01:17:58.660 Tell him to get in his car. 0.99

01:17:59.840 I'll let him lose his shit and then I'll misdirect him slightly and he'll be like, hmm. 1.00

01:18:05.140 And just completely like took you off your fucking train. 1.00

01:18:07.960 Because I was like, I'm fighting with this kid for hours. 1.00

01:18:10.020 I'm like, I'm not going to fight with you.

01:18:10.960 I'm going to trick you.

01:18:12.220 And that's like, that's the best way now.

01:18:13.840 So I tried, kids will fight for hours. 1.00

01:18:17.120 Dude, it's fucking hell. 1.00

01:18:18.440 You have no idea. 1.00

01:18:19.220 I just had to psychologically like revamp my kids before coming on the show.

01:18:23.440 They were, they were acting crazy. 0.98

01:18:24.400 And I was like, I gave them like, like games to play and roles and shit. 0.98

01:18:27.560 And now they're playing like a role playing game where they're actually good kids. 0.97

01:18:30.960 Good for you guys.

01:18:32.320 Oh, I thought you gave them like actual roles.

01:18:35.240 And they were like, I gave them a game.

01:18:36.660 I gave them bread.

01:18:37.900 And they're like, and they're like, and they're like, and they're like, I finally fed them today.

01:18:43.440 They were really upset about it.

01:18:44.600 I was, hey, you can minimize videos once we're done, dude.

01:18:48.460 Oh yeah.

01:18:49.100 Thanks.

01:18:49.900 Thanks.

01:18:50.140 Little Dickie.

01:18:50.920 Yeah.

01:18:51.300 Little Dickie. 1.00

01:18:52.520 You dumb bitch. 1.00

01:18:53.720 You dick suck you. 1.00

01:18:56.100 Oh my God. 1.00

01:18:56.560 We do have one other video, but this is something by, uh, Big Dickie, uh, which he put this

01:19:01.340 together for us.

01:19:02.300 Oh, interesting.

01:19:03.220 Are we going to watch this?

01:19:05.620 Yes.

01:19:05.900 I want, I told him we would watch this on the show because, uh, it has to do with something

01:19:09.900 that happened this last week. 0.97

01:19:11.140 Dickie, Dickie's a genius fucking video producer. 0.99

01:19:13.660 We'll watch it to shout out Dickie. 0.96

01:19:15.520 I, I don't necessarily want this to get into that much talk about what this video is actually

01:19:20.500 about, but we can watch it.

01:19:21.800 No, I don't, I don't either.

01:19:23.180 I think, I think we should do whatever the opposite of Toad has just said.

01:19:27.520 So, no, I, I agree.

01:19:29.160 I don't want to, because if we talk about this, that just means we're going to be doing libertarian

01:19:32.200 party talk and I don't, we don't have to do that at all.

01:19:35.540 All right.

01:19:35.780 We'll, we'll, we'll play the video though.

01:19:37.460 Yeah.

01:19:37.620 Play the video.

01:19:42.400 And, and I, if you were to actually have a, a sit down conversation, I think.

01:19:46.340 I'll have a sit down with him.

01:19:47.320 You got to box me though.

01:19:47.980 What's up?

01:19:49.160 Because that's the other thing.

01:19:50.100 Now we get into a manhood conversation.

01:19:51.100 You've been rude, vague, then directly disrespectful.

01:19:53.920 I am a man.

01:19:54.980 First, you're going to respect me, period.

01:19:56.300 Just like I checked when, when, when Sarwark tried to act like after he said what he said

01:19:58.840 to me to the Philadelphia Daily News in the middle of my city council run and then tried 0.99

01:20:01.360 to buddy, buddy up to me at Orlando and I told him walk the fuck away from me. 0.97

01:20:03.840 That was me being respectful. 0.95

01:20:07.420 Yo, play, play the, the beginning because you didn't hear me.

01:20:09.360 Yeah, you missed the beginning because he says more.

01:20:11.220 Did I? 1.00

01:20:11.620 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:20:12.340 All right. 1.00

01:20:13.160 Yeah, you missed the entire first part of it where Clint's like.

01:20:16.800 My, my, my point, my point is this, man.

01:20:18.540 Y'all have way more in common than you do apart.

01:20:21.580 And, and I, if you were to actually have a, a sit down conversation, I think.

01:20:25.320 I have a sit down with him.

01:20:26.180 You got to box me.

01:20:27.920 Because here's the other thing.

01:20:28.960 Now we get into a manhood conversation.

01:20:29.740 The space is so great.

01:20:31.620 You've been rude, vague, then directly disrespectful.

01:20:32.800 I am a man.

01:20:33.840 First, you're going to respect me, period.

01:20:35.140 Just like I checked when, when, when, when, when, when, when the Star Wars tried to act

01:20:37.000 like after he said what he said to me to the Philadelphia Daily News in the middle 0.99

01:20:39.020 of my city council run and then tried to buddy, buddy up to me in Orlando and I told him walk the fuck 0.99

01:20:42.060 away from me. 0.94

01:20:42.680 That was me being respectful.

01:20:43.360 It does, it does seem pretty similar.

01:20:46.280 It's almost exactly the same.

01:20:49.600 I forgot even what he was upset about.

01:20:51.940 I love Clint Massey, man.

01:20:53.340 I don't even, what was Massey talking about?

01:20:54.620 Was it, was it the, the, the Breonna Taylor one?

01:20:57.180 Was that what that one was about?

01:20:58.680 No, that was this week.

01:20:59.740 No, no, this was.

01:21:00.560 No, it was not this week.

01:21:01.880 It was, it was months ago.

01:21:03.460 No, it was recent.

01:21:04.460 It was, oh, it was gun, it was gun violence.

01:21:06.460 I thought she was talking about what Maj is mad about. 0.94

01:21:08.400 Oh, no, no, no.

01:21:09.120 I was talking about the original video with Thomas Massey.

01:21:11.060 What Maj is mad about? 0.99

01:21:12.180 I don't know.

01:21:12.700 It was gun, it was gun violence and, and, and it was like AR bands.

01:21:16.360 And I think, I think the Massey was just like, look, we can talk about, you know, you don't 0.99

01:21:21.040 know shit about this basically. 1.00

01:21:22.840 He's like, what the fuck are you? 1.00

01:21:25.300 It's like, sir, sir, please replace the batteries before you do that. 0.99

01:21:29.260 What?

01:21:29.620 That one was dope. 1.00

01:21:30.680 But that'll get his band.

01:21:32.040 We're not going to do that.

01:21:32.640 I don't even know which one he's talking about, but are we going to talk about Rudy

01:21:37.240 Giuliani?

01:21:38.000 That is the question. 1.00

01:21:38.900 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

01:21:39.280 All right. 1.00

01:21:39.540 I got to, I got to read this because I've been wearing it all day.

01:21:42.340 Where did this come from?

01:21:43.240 Who found this?

01:21:44.280 This is the, because the new Trump indictments.

01:21:47.600 Yeah.

01:21:48.180 It's from the, um, it's, it's from, is it part of the Trump indictments?

01:21:52.960 He's in, uh, he's definitely in, uh, court.

01:21:58.360 Yeah.

01:21:58.740 I think it's because Giuliani and, um, the other guy that Trump was using for a while

01:22:03.520 actually had a, got subpoenaed or whatever.

01:22:05.940 I just realized our audience may not even get the joke there.

01:22:08.040 That was me talking to Maj Ture.

01:22:09.780 That's, we'll leave it at that.

01:22:11.180 But it was a, it was a Twitter spaces that happened like three days ago and, and Dickie

01:22:15.840 ripped the video and he ran it over the Massey club.

01:22:17.540 Hang on one second.

01:22:18.580 Maj was mad because Jeremy Kaufman came in and just told him that he had a low IQ.

01:22:22.920 And then he just went on the rest of the time to prove how, just how low I was like, wow.

01:22:27.660 I didn't think it was this low, but then whatever that that's what happened.

01:22:30.880 Go, go check it out.

01:22:31.660 I don't even dream at night.

01:22:33.020 The only thing I think.

01:22:35.040 I think about guns all day, every day. 0.99

01:22:38.860 All I think about is guns and this motherfucking beep that won't stop. 0.99

01:22:43.380 And reparations. 0.99

01:22:47.340 It's like, I dream when I'm awake about reparations.

01:22:51.080 What about you sleep?

01:22:52.440 I don't dream when I sleep.

01:22:53.620 I just, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never slept before.

01:22:57.120 Oh, so, so, so, all right.

01:22:59.320 So I sleep so I can wake up and dream.

01:23:01.820 Okay.

01:23:02.580 That's what I do. 1.00

01:23:03.600 The fuck's REM, bro. 1.00

01:23:06.300 The only thing I remember was Remington. 1.00

01:23:08.340 All right. 0.99

01:23:11.420 Yo, good shit. 0.99

01:23:13.880 Every 10 minutes when it beeps, he wakes up and he just. 1.00

01:23:16.140 I'm a man.

01:23:21.280 Respect me.

01:23:23.520 Yo, if you ain't dry fire today, you ain't ready.

01:23:26.900 Is that what they call it?

01:23:30.620 That's why they call it moon crickets. 0.71

01:23:31.940 Is that what that is?

01:23:35.100 Top stealing my joke now.

01:23:36.780 There we go.

01:23:38.220 Oh, did you say that?

01:23:39.000 Yeah.

01:23:39.300 I do have a silicone wedding ring because I don't like the metal ones. 1.00

01:23:42.460 They fucking suck. 0.99

01:23:43.080 What was the, oh yeah, pull it up, dude. 1.00

01:23:46.860 Let's go.

01:23:47.440 Yeah.

01:23:47.740 They're way better.

01:23:48.640 It's not even close.

01:23:49.900 So this is really, Rudy Giuliani is in court. 0.99

01:23:52.120 I guess it's over the Trump indictment shit. 0.99

01:23:53.800 I don't know, but. 0.99

01:23:54.640 Dude, you're not, you're not pulling it up to the stream.

01:23:56.980 You're killing me.

01:23:58.040 I'm going to need a zoom, buddy.

01:24:00.220 All right.

01:24:00.600 Let's control, scroll up.

01:24:04.040 This guy, this guy's a coder.

01:24:06.980 Yeah, I am.

01:24:09.340 Learn to scroll.

01:24:11.460 Learn to scroll, bro.

01:24:13.080 Oh, there we go.

01:24:14.700 Oh, almost.

01:24:15.660 Yeah.

01:24:16.300 Oh, it's not exactly working, man.

01:24:17.800 It doesn't do it to the image, only the text. 0.90

01:24:19.740 What the fuck do you want me to do?

01:24:21.140 How about you just save the image on your computer and then you can bring it up in, uh. 0.98

01:24:25.180 Why didn't you, why don't you learn how to use the computer better, Toad? 0.98

01:24:28.440 How about you learn to fucking read? 0.99

01:24:32.240 Touche. 1.00

01:24:33.240 Fine.

01:24:34.280 That's what Clint's here for.

01:24:35.460 Go ahead, Clint.

01:24:35.520 I'll try.

01:24:36.360 All right. 1.00

01:24:36.660 Mr. Giuliani says, come here, big tits. 1.00

01:24:40.120 Come here, big tits. 1.00

01:24:41.600 Your tits belong to me. 1.00

01:24:43.200 Give them to me. 1.00

01:24:44.360 Indiscernible mumble. 1.00

01:24:45.620 I want to claim my tits. 1.00

01:24:47.040 I want to claim my tits. 1.00

01:24:48.520 I want to claim my tits. 1.00

01:24:50.640 These are my tits. 1.00

01:24:52.120 Miss Dunphy. 1.00

01:24:53.120 Oh, yeah.

01:24:54.240 Mr. Giuliani. 0.98

01:24:55.740 These breasts belong to me. 0.98

01:24:57.640 Nobody else can get near these, okay? 0.85

01:25:00.440 I don't care if they're flirting.

01:25:02.480 They give you business cards.

01:25:03.920 These are mine.

01:25:04.640 You got it?

01:25:05.520 Yes.

01:25:05.760 Yes.

01:25:08.640 Understand?

01:25:09.240 Yes, Mr. Giuliani. 0.99

01:25:10.560 I'm very fucking possessive. 0.99

01:25:12.560 I've got an easy on you. 0.99

01:25:14.340 I don't know.

01:25:15.820 I've been easy on you.

01:25:17.740 You're pretty tough on me.

01:25:19.480 I've been easy on you.

01:25:21.300 Give them to me.

01:25:22.500 Maybe. 1.00

01:25:25.620 What the fuck is this? 1.00

01:25:28.440 It's Mr. Giuliani being a boss, bro. 0.99

01:25:30.560 I have newfound respect for both Lizzo and Rudy Giuliani.

01:25:35.100 Now, this is Rudy Giuliani sexually harassing some member of the staff.

01:25:38.980 Dude, does that sound like sexual harassment, bro?

01:25:41.240 No, that's not sexual harassment. 0.98

01:25:43.020 That's dirty talk, dog. 1.00

01:25:44.140 That ain't shit. 1.00

01:25:45.280 All right. 0.99

01:25:45.820 It's Rudy Giuliani's foreplay with his... 0.73

01:25:48.540 Look, even if it's not your sexual partner, if you're not allowed to talk to women like that 1.00

01:25:53.800 in the workforce, then get the fuck out. 1.00

01:25:56.800 I don't want you. 1.00

01:25:57.760 You know what's weird?

01:25:58.940 We read this very sexually, and now I'm rereading it.

01:26:03.920 I'm rereading it again where she says, oh, yeah? 1.00

01:26:06.640 And then she's being a bitch, and he's like, you got it? 1.00

01:26:08.820 And she says, yes. 1.00

01:26:10.600 And then he goes, I've been pretty easy on you.

01:26:12.460 He goes, well, you're pretty tough on me.

01:26:14.400 I could see how this goes the other way, but I could also see how it could be really dirty. 0.99

01:26:18.180 I like how the fuck is this recorded. 1.00

01:26:20.440 Who fucking... 0.99

01:26:20.980 That's what I want to know is, like, why is this... 0.99

01:26:22.980 Is somebody, like, taking numbers as they're doing this? 0.98

01:26:24.800 Like, what the fuck is this about? 0.93

01:26:25.840 I think it's probably because, like, all of these, like, events are caught, like, on camera, probably. 1.00

01:26:30.920 I also like to think that this would happen in court, and he's just talking to the fucking judge that's a woman. 1.00

01:26:35.800 And the sonographer's just, like, going, he's like, what are you doing with big tits? 1.00

01:26:39.580 I like how Clint read the... 1.00

01:26:41.380 Get those big Judge Judy tits right on me. 1.00

01:26:43.700 Those big Jug Judys. 1.00

01:26:47.040 I like how...

01:26:48.440 Jug Judys.

01:26:49.260 I like how Clint...

01:26:52.160 I like how Clint read this one, though.

01:26:54.100 I like to envision that Mrs. Dunvey here is saying it that way, like, oh, yeah. 0.99

01:27:00.340 Dude, she's fucking into it. 1.00

01:27:02.900 Clearly. 1.00

01:27:03.180 It feels like she's into it.

01:27:04.020 Benzo Barbie said this is a conversation between me and my dad earlier.

01:27:07.020 Oh, my...

01:27:07.800 What? 0.99

01:27:09.240 Now I understand why you're fucking on... 0.99

01:27:11.260 Judge Juggie. 0.99

01:27:12.500 Benzos.

01:27:14.120 My goodness.

01:27:14.840 By the way, they have to...

01:27:16.480 If she has, like, small A-cups, this is way worse than Giuliani, right?

01:27:22.060 These have to be, like, hangers. 0.99

01:27:23.420 No, she's got some fucking slappers, dude. 1.00

01:27:25.220 These have to be some meat hangers that he's talking about. 1.00

01:27:28.120 You know, she's got... 0.50

01:27:28.740 Yeah, when the court's adjourned, she just goes... 0.91

01:27:30.560 Maybe we could find...

01:27:31.540 Wow.

01:27:32.560 Bam, bam.

01:27:33.220 Hold on.

01:27:34.820 I'm gonna see if I can find this woman. 1.00

01:27:37.200 No.

01:27:37.600 How about you pull up the next one?

01:27:38.780 Because there's another...

01:27:39.540 There's another one that's even better.

01:27:40.360 Yeah, there is another one, yeah. 1.00

01:27:41.880 Miss Dunphy's got some fucking slipdags. 1.00

01:27:44.840 That's true. 1.00

01:27:45.500 So this is another...

01:27:47.160 Oh, there's no way to read it.

01:27:48.940 I wonder where he said this at.

01:27:49.940 This is what I'm...

01:27:50.700 See, this is what I'm telling you, man.

01:27:52.060 You try to zoom in.

01:27:52.700 Hey, Toad?

01:27:53.100 Toad?

01:27:53.380 Toad? 1.00

01:27:53.440 He does that shit. 1.00

01:27:54.180 Toad? 1.00

01:27:54.520 There you go.

01:27:55.560 Look at that.

01:27:56.920 He carries on.

01:27:58.360 He says...

01:27:58.520 Listen to me, man. 1.00

01:27:59.340 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:28:01.120 Dude, do you think that when I'm sitting there writing fucking code and developing apps, 1.00

01:28:05.500 I'm zooming in on Twitter to some side... 0.99

01:28:09.500 You're right, Toad?

01:28:19.300 We're done?

01:28:23.460 He's got a bunch of Toad vessels.

01:28:25.000 Dude, this is some jitterbug Twitter here, man. 1.00

01:28:28.540 This is for all fucking blind people. 1.00

01:28:32.500 All right, all right, all right. 1.00

01:28:35.240 Giuliani says, the way natural selection works, Jewish men have small cocks because 0.99

01:28:39.400 they can't use them after they get married, whereas the Italian men use them all their 1.00

01:28:43.080 lives so they get bigger.

01:28:44.720 Wow.

01:28:44.920 Is Giuliani Italian or Jewish? 1.00

01:28:46.720 Yeah, he's definitely fucking Italian. 1.00

01:28:48.180 I would love to see if he's actually Jewish. 0.99

01:28:49.740 He was like, no, ma'am.

01:28:51.180 I don't know.

01:28:51.440 Yeah, Giuliani?

01:28:52.520 I don't know. 0.99

01:28:53.100 He's like, listen, my size is just because I don't fuck after I got married, all right? 0.98

01:28:58.300 I've been... 0.99

01:28:59.300 Dick size is correlated to promiscuity, so he's not exactly wrong. 0.95

01:29:03.660 Is it really? 0.99

01:29:05.060 Yeah.

01:29:05.400 There is a theory that I have to this.

01:29:07.800 I think I brought it up before.

01:29:08.840 It's like where the more you do use it, the better you are, or the more stamina you have.

01:29:14.040 I said something like that?

01:29:15.440 Well, that's definitely true.

01:29:17.700 Yeah.

01:29:18.120 So if you're using it every day, you're desensitized.

01:29:20.580 And I think it does grow, too. 0.99

01:29:22.220 Probably from just being swole and fucking like... 1.00

01:29:25.220 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:29:25.580 I had a four-inch dick at 18, but I doubled it just by beating the shit out of it. 1.00

01:29:29.560 Now, here's the thing. 1.00

01:29:31.100 He's saying that Italian men use their dicks all the time, which I do, at least in a masturbatory way. 1.00

01:29:36.480 That they get bigger? 1.00

01:29:37.600 That is definitely not the case.

01:29:39.280 No, no, it's true. 1.00

01:29:40.260 You've bent yours up to your fucking belly button. 1.00

01:29:43.080 That's how... 1.00

01:29:44.300 I mean, you've modified the shape of... 1.00

01:29:45.580 That's got to be in mushy pussy that you're fucking instead of to get a bigger dick. 1.00

01:29:48.260 That's actually true. 1.00

01:29:49.300 Yeah, stretch it all the way out. 1.00

01:29:50.720 Yeah, I got to soak it in pussy like a peeled banana. 1.00

01:29:55.840 Dude, you have a boomerang that fucking snaps right back into your belly button. 1.00

01:30:00.140 It's the weirdest thing. 0.99

01:30:00.780 I actually do.

01:30:01.620 It bends in that direction, yeah.

01:30:03.640 I need to see it right now.

01:30:05.380 Anna said, best thing about A-cups is that you're safe from New York governors. 1.00

01:30:09.660 Would you be able to get a blowjob? 1.00

01:30:11.120 That's true, yeah. 1.00

01:30:12.260 In a fucking... 0.99

01:30:14.680 In work? 1.00

01:30:15.200 In a work environment?

01:30:15.980 Yeah, I hope so.

01:30:16.500 No, no, no, no, no. 0.99

01:30:17.520 In the table, the milking table, would your erection even be able to go into the milking 0.99

01:30:21.660 table, or would it just curve right back up? 0.99

01:30:25.020 I'd have to do a move and bend my hips while I get it through the hole, but I can get it

01:30:30.020 through the hole.

01:30:30.740 Oh, Dickie makes a great point.

01:30:32.840 Toad would absolutely destroy a G-spot if he could get it, because it's like...

01:30:36.460 I was just going to say that, dude.

01:30:37.640 You're built a...

01:30:38.820 I know. 1.00

01:30:39.580 Well, it's actually the A-spot in this case, because my dick is actually a little bit bigger 0.99

01:30:43.720 than you're implying with the G-spot. 1.00

01:30:45.340 What's your dick-to-banana ratio? 1.00

01:30:47.240 That's funny. 1.00

01:30:49.080 Yeah, so...

01:30:50.440 Toad would be a A-spot.

01:30:52.200 And like we said, the G-spot's only like three inches in.

01:30:54.720 You're right there.

01:30:55.860 You'd just be poking that thing all day.

01:30:57.760 They wouldn't know the difference. 1.00

01:30:58.420 Benzo, do not send my dick to Clint. 1.00

01:31:01.980 Please do. 1.00

01:31:02.380 Send it to all of us.

01:31:03.300 I don't care.

01:31:03.760 I would love to see it.

01:31:04.740 No, no, no, because we have to... 1.00

01:31:06.620 Why are you sending your dick to people but not putting it in their bodies? 1.00

01:31:11.140 That is a great question. 1.00

01:31:11.420 You know that's the reason that you send it, right?

01:31:13.820 To do that, right?

01:31:15.080 No, it's to prove that it can reach your belly button. 1.00

01:31:18.320 Oh, you sent a picture of your dick touching your belly button and you didn't send it to me? 1.00

01:31:21.500 You're a fucking piece of shit. 1.00

01:31:22.680 I do love... 1.00

01:31:23.300 The funny thing is I almost believe him because I can't see him being autistic enough to be like... 1.00

01:31:27.760 She's like, I don't think your dick touched your belly button. 1.00

01:31:29.420 He's like, no, bitch, listen. 1.00

01:31:30.620 I can't. 1.00

01:31:31.480 Look, I'll take Benzo's word for it.

01:31:33.820 Was he standing straight up? 1.00

01:31:35.600 Because I don't believe that his dick touches his belly button. 1.00

01:31:37.580 I was, actually. 1.00

01:31:38.420 Show him fucking Benzo. 1.00

01:31:40.920 You say it. 1.00

01:31:41.800 I don't want to hear it from Toad. 1.00

01:31:42.880 Heather, she's not talking about her tits. 1.00

01:31:44.320 You can get her tits, like, so easy. 1.00

01:31:46.920 Basically, she just sends those out. 0.99

01:31:49.040 She'll send you pics.

01:31:50.660 No, I'm pretty sure she's talking about mine, but I don't know.

01:31:55.200 You think she has those pictures?

01:31:56.740 Does she have them taped?

01:31:57.400 She said, pull it up?

01:31:58.720 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:31:59.940 Are you worried right now that one of us might get a DM?

01:32:03.560 I'm slightly concerned, yeah.

01:32:05.380 Benzo, if you're hilarious right now, you DM them to me and I put them on right now. 0.97

01:32:08.700 I don't give a fuck about this. 0.98

01:32:10.740 No, no, no. 0.99

01:32:12.220 No, we'll get banned.

01:32:12.660 This is for the funny.

01:32:14.360 We'll get banned.

01:32:14.860 I don't care.

01:32:15.440 It would be the funniest way to get out.

01:32:17.520 It's really not.

01:32:18.580 Who cares if we get banned?

01:32:19.820 Top, you can draw it.

01:32:21.920 We're still going to draw and do the dick guessing, right?

01:32:23.900 By the way.

01:32:24.840 Honestly, Benzo, just send it to a group chat with me, Clint, and Top. 1.00

01:32:29.500 How far is your belly button from your dick, bro? 1.00

01:32:33.200 I suffer from a severe case of low belly button. 1.00

01:32:39.800 Maybe his dick starts way too high. 1.00

01:32:45.620 He's only got a two-inch gap between his belly button and his dick. 1.00

01:32:49.220 He doesn't have a fupa. 1.00

01:32:50.400 He has a dupa. 0.99

01:32:52.500 I have also offered that if anybody sends me their tits, 0.99

01:32:57.160 so I'll send them my belly button proof. 0.99

01:33:01.720 I'm waiting.

01:33:02.540 That's an offer.

01:33:04.020 Benzo, you checked in my Twitter. 0.99

01:33:05.440 Technically, Jose sent his tits today, so. 0.99

01:33:08.920 Oh, Jesus. 1.00

01:33:10.300 God damn it. 0.99

01:33:10.960 Now I have to send it to Jose? 0.99

01:33:12.300 All right.

01:33:13.160 Send it to Jose right now.

01:33:14.340 He'll check it during Timcast.

01:33:15.560 By the way, I also, I did find, hang on,

01:33:19.260 because I found a picture of Miss Dunphy here. 0.79

01:33:22.320 This is her. 0.99

01:33:24.100 Dude, she's got some fucking slipped eggs. 1.00

01:33:26.400 She's looking like she's enjoying this. 1.00

01:33:29.220 Oh, yeah.

01:33:29.800 Is she Chinese?

01:33:32.020 Dude, look at this.

01:33:33.500 Oh, she does have some knockers. 1.00

01:33:35.540 Them big tits are my big tits. 1.00

01:33:37.340 You understand me? 1.00

01:33:38.540 Those are my big tits. 1.00

01:33:40.240 Yo, that's next to Ivanka, too. 1.00

01:33:41.620 Give me that.

01:33:42.200 That's true.

01:33:42.620 Is she, uh.

01:33:43.240 God.

01:33:44.600 What are you talking about?

01:33:45.820 This is fine.

01:33:46.460 So, wait up.

01:33:46.820 Are they trying to drag him for this?

01:33:48.040 Toppishy is homely as the other woman? 1.00

01:33:48.820 Yeah, they're dragging him for it.

01:33:50.480 No, she's not.

01:33:51.280 She's like, she's like Milf, Milfish. 0.94

01:33:53.220 I mean, she's not attractive. 0.99

01:33:54.480 Dude, for a guy that looks like Rudy Giuliani, 0.99

01:33:56.340 he is fucking ecstatic about this. 0.97

01:33:58.260 So, what's the controversy here? 0.98

01:34:00.860 I don't know, dude.

01:34:02.280 I'm telling you.

01:34:03.020 Her or Monica Lewinsky, though.

01:34:06.820 Oh, her for sure, dude. 0.99

01:34:07.680 Yeah, exactly.

01:34:08.580 Yeah.

01:34:09.440 She's way better looking.

01:34:10.860 Is he really?

01:34:11.560 Is that like his girlfriend or something?

01:34:13.340 Is he pulling that?

01:34:14.340 It's his daughter.

01:34:14.740 I mean, he's married,

01:34:15.420 but he's having an affair with her.

01:34:16.520 I guess that's why they're dragging him. 1.00

01:34:17.760 But, like, all his dirty talk is gangster as fuck. 1.00

01:34:20.700 Those are my tits. 1.00

01:34:21.340 They ain't your tits. 1.00

01:34:22.100 They ain't nobody else's tits but mine. 1.00

01:34:23.520 Those are my tits. 1.00

01:34:24.380 You get it? 1.00

01:34:24.740 Once the show's done, 1.00

01:34:25.660 I'm saying that shit to my wife. 1.00

01:34:27.240 Exactly. 1.00

01:34:27.560 Honestly, I might do that as well.

01:34:29.160 I think I've said that before.

01:34:31.220 Of course you have.

01:34:32.100 Who hasn't? 0.99

01:34:33.460 Homosexuals. 0.98

01:34:33.920 I bet a lot of guys have already said that, 0.87

01:34:35.940 and they're just looking at this like,

01:34:36.680 yeah, that's like standard bedroom dirty talk. 1.00

01:34:40.060 That's my pussy. 1.00

01:34:40.940 That's my tits. 1.00

01:34:41.820 I made her say it. 0.99

01:34:43.120 See, I don't want to be like,

01:34:44.300 that's mine.

01:34:44.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:45.180 No, that's a good point. 1.00

01:34:46.520 Oh, these are your tits? 1.00

01:34:47.400 This is your pussy. 1.00

01:34:48.340 These are your tits. 1.00

01:34:49.660 Dude, you own these. 1.00

01:34:51.260 No, no.

01:34:51.620 She's supposed to say that this is mine.

01:34:53.040 Like, she's saying that that's yours,

01:34:55.320 as in mine's.

01:34:56.520 Not that, like, that's hers.

01:34:57.720 Oh, I thought you meant like, 1.00

01:34:58.580 like, yeah, this is my pussy. 1.00

01:35:00.860 It's me telling her, 1.00

01:35:01.980 those are your tits. 1.00

01:35:03.240 They're yours. 1.00

01:35:04.280 All yours.

01:35:05.220 She's like, yeah, they're mine. 1.00

01:35:06.660 They're my tits. 1.00

01:35:08.560 This is retarded. 1.00

01:35:09.400 I have said that. 0.98

01:35:11.460 Yo, that's probably the dirty talk

01:35:12.840 that they do have.

01:35:13.900 Dude, I'm just a.

01:35:14.800 Love on the spectrum, dirty talk.

01:35:17.220 Oh, dude, let's do it.

01:35:19.080 Let's do love on the spectrum,

01:35:20.080 dirty talk. 0.99

01:35:20.540 I bet we can fucking do this. 0.99

01:35:21.320 Oh, all right. 0.99

01:35:21.900 That's probably illegal, dude,

01:35:23.260 because what you're doing is like.

01:35:26.280 What you're talking about

01:35:27.300 is like plug talk,

01:35:28.540 but like autistic people.

01:35:30.020 Actually, that's a great idea, dude.

01:35:31.520 I just don't know the legality

01:35:32.880 of like, can they consent?

01:35:34.300 But yeah, we get,

01:35:35.200 we get like autistic people, 0.97

01:35:37.360 real autistic,

01:35:37.960 and just have other autistic people

01:35:39.740 come, they talk

01:35:40.300 and it's real awkward

01:35:41.260 and then we're like, 0.94

01:35:41.840 what are you going to have sex after? 0.99

01:35:43.180 Well, that's your show. 1.00

01:35:44.640 Oh my God, that's your show, Toad.

01:35:46.640 What?

01:35:47.280 Dude, you should have a. 1.00

01:35:47.880 Fuck autistic people 1.00

01:35:48.800 after interviewing them. 1.00

01:35:49.820 Yeah.

01:35:50.260 Yeah.

01:35:50.740 Hell yeah. 0.97

01:35:51.020 Real autistic. 1.00

01:35:53.460 Borderline retarded. 1.00

01:35:54.660 No, no, no. 1.00

01:35:55.240 Full. 1.00

01:35:56.740 Full retarded. 1.00

01:35:57.460 Okay, full retarded. 1.00

01:35:58.780 Asperger's is the line. 0.98

01:36:00.200 Dude, yeah, yeah.

01:36:01.140 The, uh.

01:36:03.300 Oh God.

01:36:04.020 Like the autist, 1.00

01:36:04.980 autist fuck retard hour, 1.00

01:36:06.760 something like that. 1.00

01:36:07.780 No, it's just.

01:36:08.820 AFR.

01:36:09.220 It's just, uh.

01:36:11.060 The AFR show.

01:36:12.700 Dude, and here's the thing, 0.99

01:36:13.800 you don't have to fuck any of them, 1.00

01:36:14.860 maybe the thing is that you just. 1.00

01:36:15.920 Oh no, no, no.

01:36:16.480 It's only tards or something, 1.00

01:36:17.940 I don't know.

01:36:18.500 No, it would be better

01:36:19.640 if he just watches.

01:36:21.360 Don't you think?

01:36:22.740 God, I'd really rather him 1.00

01:36:23.900 just fuck a bunch of retards. 1.00

01:36:25.440 I'm just. 1.00

01:36:27.060 Could you imagine?

01:36:27.900 He's going to hit the G spot 1.00

01:36:29.220 on a retarded girl. 0.99

01:36:30.440 She's going to like 1.00

01:36:31.560 freak the fuck out. 0.94

01:36:32.580 You're going to, 0.99

01:36:32.960 you're going to double repart. 1.00

01:36:36.260 Dude, you're going to rip his dick off. 1.00

01:36:38.460 Dude, dude, right now. 1.00

01:36:39.460 They can't. 1.00

01:36:40.400 Oh yeah, retarded girls 1.00

01:36:41.360 probably can't control 1.00

01:36:42.400 how they can't control their muscles.

01:36:44.540 Like it will destroy.

01:36:45.700 Oh my God. 1.00

01:36:46.360 That's a mushy pussy. 1.00

01:36:47.840 That's a mushy, 1.00

01:36:48.560 gushy pussy, dude. 1.00

01:36:49.680 Dude, I'm just, 1.00

01:36:50.120 I'm just realizing 0.99

01:36:50.780 how many man tits 1.00

01:36:51.980 I'm going to get DM'd right now. 1.00

01:36:54.560 You know what's weird? 1.00

01:36:55.520 These are your tits, Todd. 1.00

01:36:57.480 These are your tits. 1.00

01:36:58.500 They're mine also, 0.99

01:36:59.780 but they're yours currently.

01:37:01.740 Nice.

01:37:02.280 On Love on the Spectrum,

01:37:03.400 something very interesting

01:37:04.360 and disturbing trend.

01:37:05.580 Most of the autistic girls 1.00

01:37:07.020 and even some of the guys,

01:37:08.760 they were like,

01:37:09.660 yeah, I think I'm gay.

01:37:11.140 I think I'm bi.

01:37:12.420 I think they don't know

01:37:13.520 because like their emotions

01:37:15.020 can't decide.

01:37:16.500 So I'm like, 0.99

01:37:16.960 yo, like all this shit 0.99

01:37:17.900 that's going on 1.00

01:37:18.520 where everyone's gay. 0.85

01:37:19.280 I was like, 0.92

01:37:19.480 everyone probably is gay 0.99

01:37:20.280 because everyone's autistic. 0.99

01:37:21.140 Like I said before. 0.99

01:37:22.520 Imagine being born retarded 1.00

01:37:24.360 and then God was also like, 1.00

01:37:25.800 also born gay, bitch. 1.00

01:37:28.500 I was born in the wrong 1.00

01:37:37.400 retarded party. 0.99

01:37:40.160 Are there any black autistic people? 0.96

01:37:43.180 I guess it's a couple.

01:37:43.780 No, no, no.

01:37:44.240 Because remember,

01:37:44.760 there's the black dance. 0.88

01:37:45.980 There was the black dance. 0.91

01:37:49.980 Oh my God.

01:37:52.200 Dude, that's the triple threat

01:37:55.260 right there.

01:37:55.780 Does that make it better

01:37:57.920 or worse?

01:37:58.540 I don't know.

01:37:59.300 It's a triple threat

01:38:00.060 to the person who has

01:38:01.100 all those things.

01:38:01.180 There was always

01:38:01.740 the black kid 0.98

01:38:03.000 that wasn't good at sports. 0.99

01:38:04.400 That's the autistic one. 1.00

01:38:05.840 The one that's into anime?

01:38:06.500 Remember those ones?

01:38:07.240 Remember those ones

01:38:07.780 that they were like,

01:38:08.560 oh yeah,

01:38:08.760 I'm picking that guy.

01:38:09.820 There was actually,

01:38:10.500 there was one black 0.98

01:38:12.060 retarded kid in my high school 0.98

01:38:13.100 and I was like,

01:38:13.640 man, you must be adopted

01:38:14.620 because otherwise

01:38:15.160 you wouldn't be here right now.

01:38:17.740 Yeah. 0.99

01:38:18.300 She's a black 1.00

01:38:18.940 mentally retarded patient. 1.00

01:38:20.380 There's no way 0.99

01:38:20.920 you would have survived

01:38:21.600 in the hood,

01:38:22.060 I think if you're 1.00

01:38:25.000 gay, retarded, 1.00

01:38:26.300 and black, 1.00

01:38:27.020 it's black cockdowns. 0.89

01:38:28.680 No, they're actually, 0.81

01:38:29.360 yo,

01:38:29.620 that was clever.

01:38:32.140 That was like 1.00

01:38:32.440 a fucking multi-pun, bro. 1.00

01:38:34.520 Multi-play. 1.00

01:38:35.020 That's the only thing

01:38:35.720 I'm good at.

01:38:36.180 I was thinking about

01:38:36.460 this dude, Stanley,

01:38:38.120 that I knew from,

01:38:38.940 he lived in the projects

01:38:39.840 in Coney Island

01:38:40.440 and my uncle,

01:38:41.340 when he was alive, 0.64

01:38:41.960 he was like real fat

01:38:42.700 and Stanley was his best friend

01:38:44.060 but Stanley was 0.99

01:38:44.880 like mentally retarded. 1.00

01:38:46.300 He was slow. 0.99

01:38:47.220 He was a little slow.

01:38:48.060 I didn't know as a kid. 0.98

01:38:49.160 That's what retarded means. 1.00

01:38:50.380 And he would just send it, 0.81

01:38:51.120 my uncle would just send him

01:38:51.900 to go get Chinese food.

01:38:53.080 Like every day,

01:38:53.700 like he'd be hanging out,

01:38:55.080 they'd be watching wrestling

01:38:55.820 and be like,

01:38:56.180 yo, Stanley,

01:38:56.580 give me some Chinese food

01:38:57.340 and you see Stanley

01:38:57.960 dragging his feet

01:38:58.680 down Surf Avenue

01:39:00.760 getting Chinese food,

01:39:01.680 walking back. 1.00

01:39:02.180 Every fucking day, 0.99

01:39:02.840 I was like, 1.00

01:39:03.060 this is incredible, man.

01:39:04.340 Dude, he enslaved 1.00

01:39:05.220 a fucking retard. 1.00

01:39:06.840 He really did. 1.00

01:39:08.540 But Stanley benefited from it

01:39:10.220 because he bought,

01:39:11.360 listen, Stanley's just a kid

01:39:12.380 from the projects

01:39:13.080 and he had like nothing.

01:39:14.180 He couldn't work.

01:39:14.760 He would get some medical,

01:39:16.040 like, you know, 0.98

01:39:16.560 like government help and shit 0.96

01:39:17.460 but he was bringing them 0.99

01:39:18.720 my front row to see raw.

01:39:20.940 Oh, yeah, no.

01:39:21.340 He always said like,

01:39:21.920 you'll buy yourself something

01:39:22.680 and bring me back my Chinese food.

01:39:23.680 Oh, all right, all right.

01:39:24.580 All right, yeah.

01:39:24.980 Then he was slicking them up.

01:39:26.000 It was like a whale

01:39:26.820 and then like a little whale.

01:39:27.140 I thought it was like

01:39:27.620 straight indentured servitude,

01:39:29.660 indentured tartitude.

01:39:32.240 Just like regular slavery, 0.74

01:39:33.800 Stanley also benefited

01:39:34.860 and it was a choice.

01:39:36.140 He came every day

01:39:39.200 to my uncle's house

01:39:39.980 and they chilled.

01:39:40.740 They were watching wrestling.

01:39:41.780 They talked about

01:39:42.340 whatever they talked about.

01:39:43.240 Who knows?

01:39:43.560 We got to talk about reparations

01:39:45.880 for Stanley.

01:39:47.320 Yeah, they do

01:39:47.800 because it's real.

01:39:48.520 It's real, for real.

01:39:50.240 It's for real.

01:39:51.760 Oh, yeah.

01:39:52.840 His brain was probably like

01:39:54.260 Oh, dude, 0.99

01:39:57.520 I love it when retards 1.00

01:39:58.360 get all fucking pumped 1.00

01:39:59.100 when they see some exciting shit. 1.00

01:40:00.840 That's see, 0.99

01:40:01.420 that's some,

01:40:01.900 that's some joy

01:40:02.520 that like I'll never experience.

01:40:04.420 It's like,

01:40:04.920 yeah,

01:40:05.260 I get that every day.

01:40:06.700 Dude,

01:40:06.960 I'm happy for you, man.

01:40:09.880 He's learned to like

01:40:11.280 beat down the urge

01:40:12.560 to just go like this

01:40:13.380 when he gets excited.

01:40:14.960 Wait,

01:40:15.340 is this on?

01:40:16.060 He's like,

01:40:16.480 I made a good joke.

01:40:17.580 I made a good joke.

01:40:19.300 Dude,

01:40:19.580 my cousin,

01:40:20.380 my cousin used to do this thing 0.99

01:40:21.860 when we were younger.

01:40:22.760 I grew up with him

01:40:23.980 and he would draw.

01:40:25.820 He's better than me

01:40:26.480 and he would do this thing.

01:40:27.840 He'd take the pencil

01:40:28.420 and he'd look at it like this

01:40:30.140 and he'd go like here like that

01:40:31.360 and run around the room

01:40:32.100 and my mom used to be like, 1.00

01:40:34.160 what are you doing?

01:40:34.940 And he says,

01:40:35.480 I'm weeping.

01:40:36.480 Like that was like,

01:40:37.260 he didn't know it meant crying

01:40:38.420 but he would just call this weeping

01:40:39.620 and they're like,

01:40:41.040 that's kind of quirky

01:40:41.980 and years later,

01:40:44.060 years later,

01:40:44.580 like,

01:40:44.780 oh, 1.00

01:40:44.960 he was retarded. 1.00

01:40:45.980 This motherfucker's retarded. 1.00

01:40:47.600 Like, 1.00

01:40:47.840 we should have known

01:40:49.120 but back then

01:40:50.080 we weren't diagnosing it

01:40:51.300 as retarded. 0.96

01:40:52.040 It was like, 0.99

01:40:52.260 oh,

01:40:52.440 he's just like,

01:40:53.260 he's a little strange.

01:40:56.360 He has a point.

01:40:58.820 He said,

01:40:59.120 I just added resistance

01:41:01.580 to my jazz hands

01:41:02.700 and that was basically

01:41:03.700 my workouts now.

01:41:04.780 So I just get,

01:41:05.600 I like watch,

01:41:06.400 I like watch like TV shows

01:41:08.220 and I just have weights

01:41:08.900 in my hands.

01:41:09.300 I'm like,

01:41:09.600 so happy.

01:41:11.980 He just,

01:41:14.860 he just watches,

01:41:15.620 he watches the special Olympics

01:41:16.780 and just gets jacked.

01:41:18.220 He's just stinging out.

01:41:20.780 I love it.

01:41:22.080 Love it.

01:41:23.140 Spazercise.

01:41:24.480 Spastic exercise. 0.98

01:41:26.300 I can't remember

01:41:27.040 who I was watching

01:41:27.700 but they,

01:41:28.140 it was,

01:41:28.380 I think it was comedian

01:41:28.960 that some,

01:41:29.560 like he,

01:41:30.080 he made a great joke

01:41:31.340 about basically

01:41:32.480 you get two gym memberships

01:41:33.840 to different gyms

01:41:34.660 and then you go to one gym

01:41:35.980 and you actually work out there

01:41:36.960 for like,

01:41:37.420 you know,

01:41:37.680 do your full workout,

01:41:38.640 whatever you do.

01:41:39.160 You go to another gym 1.00

01:41:40.320 and just do crazy shit 1.00

01:41:42.420 and like, 1.00

01:41:43.260 just the stupidest like, 1.00

01:41:45.160 like move, 1.00

01:41:45.880 like just start like

01:41:46.820 flinging things around every day.

01:41:48.260 You come in there

01:41:48.620 and do the same thing every day

01:41:49.640 and then they just see you

01:41:50.960 get ginormous.

01:41:51.980 Like just take,

01:41:52.680 like take roids

01:41:53.480 while you're doing it.

01:41:54.320 And so they like,

01:41:55.700 like by like a couple months in

01:41:57.140 people will be like,

01:41:58.140 okay,

01:41:58.320 that guy comes every day.

01:41:59.760 You know what would be really funny?

01:42:00.360 Just like flails around

01:42:01.600 and he's ginormous. 0.74

01:42:04.480 That's a great,

01:42:05.320 that's a great YouTube bit.

01:42:06.600 Yeah.

01:42:06.760 Good advertising for the gym too.

01:42:08.960 You do that, 1.00

01:42:09.780 that same shit, 1.00

01:42:10.440 but you go, 1.00

01:42:10.960 the second gym is Planet Fitness

01:42:12.420 and you only go like once a week

01:42:14.020 when they have pizza

01:42:14.740 and you just sit on the bench press

01:42:16.540 and eat the pizza

01:42:17.400 and every week you eat the pizza

01:42:19.320 you just get in more jacked

01:42:20.760 and you're like, 1.00

01:42:20.980 what the fuck is in this pizza? 0.99

01:42:22.140 Oh yeah, 1.00

01:42:22.380 you tell me,

01:42:22.840 you're like,

01:42:23.040 no,

01:42:23.280 this is like,

01:42:24.020 you're like,

01:42:24.400 I know,

01:42:24.760 I just come here once a week

01:42:25.960 get the pizza.

01:42:26.800 It's full of protein.

01:42:27.640 There's actually a dude

01:42:32.840 who goes super viral

01:42:33.720 all the time.

01:42:34.480 I think it's called

01:42:34.880 like Vitale or something.

01:42:36.560 Oh, Vitale,

01:42:37.160 yeah.

01:42:37.640 Yeah,

01:42:37.860 it's a super jacked dude

01:42:38.860 but he puts on like a jumpsuit

01:42:40.900 and he puts on a gray beard

01:42:41.880 and he looks like this old dude

01:42:42.920 and he just deadlifts

01:42:44.680 like 3,000 pounds.

01:42:46.260 He says,

01:42:47.220 can I clean here?

01:42:48.260 And he'll be like,

01:42:49.020 guys will be doing like PR-ing deadlifts.

01:42:51.220 Oh yeah,

01:42:51.380 yeah.

01:42:51.920 Can I clean here?

01:42:53.000 And they're like,

01:42:53.420 oh yeah,

01:42:53.720 sure.

01:42:53.920 And he just goes

01:42:54.380 and he like picks it up

01:42:55.500 like one-handed,

01:42:56.600 sets it off

01:42:57.280 and he like cleans

01:42:57.900 and he picks it up

01:42:58.480 and puts it back

01:42:59.140 and they're just like, 0.99

01:42:59.860 what the fuck? 1.00

01:43:01.580 God. 1.00

01:43:02.940 It's great.

01:43:03.940 He looks like a 70-year-old man

01:43:05.180 for those that don't know

01:43:06.160 what we're talking about.

01:43:06.960 He's basically like Uncle Drew

01:43:09.080 but like not black 0.77

01:43:10.360 and so he doesn't play basketball.

01:43:12.520 Russian.

01:43:12.920 He does the white sport 0.99

01:43:14.780 of weightlifting.

01:43:16.140 Here,

01:43:16.560 let's go ahead

01:43:17.520 and run the plugs.

01:43:19.300 Yeah,

01:43:19.540 I was just going to say that.

01:43:20.340 Yeah.

01:43:20.740 You know what?

01:43:21.460 I have an issue.

01:43:22.260 I have a plug to plug.

01:43:23.920 Go ahead.

01:43:24.380 Toad has an issue

01:43:25.140 with our plug music 0.99

01:43:26.100 and I think it fucking slaps. 0.99

01:43:28.660 So, 0.99

01:43:29.120 yeah,

01:43:29.520 just let us know

01:43:30.080 if we hate it.

01:43:30.180 Toad's been having

01:43:30.620 a lot of issues lately

01:43:31.480 with us.

01:43:32.460 Everything.

01:43:32.940 He's like,

01:43:33.240 I don't think this is

01:43:33.860 a good thing to say.

01:43:34.660 I don't think this is

01:43:35.140 a good thing to do.

01:43:35.440 He's just a genuinely 1.00

01:43:36.860 discontented cunt 1.00

01:43:38.060 of a human being. 1.00

01:43:39.120 I think he's a fucking hater. 1.00

01:43:41.580 I hate Toad. 1.00

01:43:43.960 Yeah,

01:43:44.200 we know that's my plug.

01:43:44.740 We also love Toad.

01:43:45.860 That's my plug.

01:43:46.900 Say it,

01:43:47.380 say it,

01:43:47.660 say it,

01:43:47.680 say you love him.

01:43:48.560 I want to keep him around.

01:43:50.620 I love Toad.

01:43:51.900 I need him around.

01:43:53.480 That's my plugs,

01:43:54.260 yeah,

01:43:54.420 for real.

01:43:54.720 My plugs are

01:43:55.760 I hate Toad

01:43:57.100 and I love him.

01:43:58.440 Next.

01:43:59.380 Next plug.

01:44:00.260 Top,

01:44:00.540 where can people

01:44:01.040 get the new shirts?

01:44:02.560 You can get them at,

01:44:03.320 oh,

01:44:03.560 but they're not even available yet.

01:44:04.380 I hate Toad.com.

01:44:05.400 Oh,

01:44:05.500 they're not?

01:44:06.520 Actually,

01:44:06.900 no,

01:44:07.060 yours is.

01:44:07.880 Yours is available.

01:44:08.740 My bad.

01:44:09.480 Not the hat.

01:44:09.820 So,

01:44:10.680 toplobsters.com

01:44:11.560 if you want to pick up

01:44:12.540 the Lakers Liberty Lockdown

01:44:13.660 styling.

01:44:14.240 Hey,

01:44:14.420 look,

01:44:14.860 it's right there.

01:44:15.740 There you go.

01:44:16.580 Boom.

01:44:17.300 You can go get it.

01:44:17.980 Liberty Lockdown 2.0

01:44:18.960 or 23.

01:44:20.480 23.

01:44:21.660 Oh,

01:44:22.160 you know what?

01:44:22.760 I guess I will actually plug

01:44:23.980 We got the Kenneth

01:44:25.320 trying to do one

01:44:26.340 that's for Jose.

01:44:27.440 You could check that one out.

01:44:28.920 On Merch Engine,

01:44:29.680 I just did work my ass off.

01:44:31.100 We did a whole drop

01:44:32.080 of Summer Collection.

01:44:33.740 So,

01:44:33.940 like,

01:44:34.260 a lot of your favorite shows

01:44:35.280 have this as,

01:44:35.960 like,

01:44:36.040 a nice teal and Heather Gray.

01:44:37.180 We have the teal stitching

01:44:39.720 on the Heather Gray hats,

01:44:41.020 too. 0.99

01:44:41.780 We got new HSR shit. 1.00

01:44:43.520 We got new Revenge of the Sith shit. 1.00

01:44:46.020 And we're working on some 0.98

01:44:47.380 other stuff coming soon.

01:44:49.560 Yeah,

01:44:49.820 it's a future

01:44:50.840 one-sie.

01:44:50.900 Can you imagine

01:44:51.420 anybody wearing a baby

01:44:53.080 having a Legion of Skanks 1.00

01:44:54.460 one-sie? 0.98

01:44:55.280 Which I can't say

01:44:55.840 because there's a towering.

01:44:56.740 A couple of people

01:44:57.460 have bought these.

01:44:58.220 That's right,

01:44:58.640 yeah.

01:44:59.180 Oh,

01:44:59.520 a lot of people

01:45:00.320 have been blind.

01:45:01.140 Start them out right, man.

01:45:01.520 I don't have a towering one-sie, 0.96

01:45:02.640 by the way.

01:45:03.260 Start them out right.

01:45:03.960 If you want to see

01:45:04.860 the full 360 degrees

01:45:07.240 of what I'm capable of, 1.00

01:45:08.920 I said a bunch of insane shit 0.99

01:45:10.660 on this hour and a half 1.00

01:45:12.660 of my life,

01:45:13.240 and just prior to that,

01:45:14.380 I'm crying talking about

01:45:15.400 how important

01:45:16.060 fatherhood

01:45:17.000 and my parents were to me.

01:45:18.360 So,

01:45:18.920 check it out.

01:45:19.420 It's airing.

01:45:20.060 It's actually premiering right now,

01:45:21.420 so as soon as we end,

01:45:22.120 you can go over

01:45:22.680 and hop over

01:45:23.080 and check it out.

01:45:23.380 I might actually watch

01:45:24.820 one of Clint's episodes now.

01:45:26.440 Oh! 0.60

01:45:27.480 Just so you can clip it

01:45:29.520 to make fun of me next week.

01:45:30.440 I appreciate it. 0.99

01:45:31.000 What else am I going to jerk off to? 0.99

01:45:32.660 Isn't this just ripping off 0.99

01:45:34.840 what Jose did with Dave

01:45:36.980 the first time he was on

01:45:37.880 like two years ago?

01:45:39.300 Yeah,

01:45:39.420 but it's actually me

01:45:40.580 doing it by myself,

01:45:41.720 so it's not ripping off.

01:45:42.400 Okay,

01:45:42.740 that's what I thought.

01:45:43.300 You're just lesser Dave

01:45:45.040 two years later.

01:45:46.660 Well,

01:45:47.000 that's literally my brand.

01:45:50.980 Clint,

01:45:51.380 when you're talking

01:45:52.480 about fatherhood,

01:45:53.280 if you didn't say

01:45:53.800 that toads your son 0.98

01:45:55.260 and then start crying,

01:45:56.880 swear to God, 1.00

01:45:58.120 you're useless 1.00

01:45:58.960 if you didn't do that. 0.99

01:46:00.760 I'm so disappointed.

01:46:01.880 Not in myself,

01:46:03.500 really.

01:46:03.900 It's really,

01:46:04.480 it's a reflection of me

01:46:06.080 as the father. 1.00

01:46:07.340 He hasn't even eaten pussy. 1.00

01:46:09.200 No. 1.00

01:46:10.700 Do you know

01:46:11.880 how many times

01:46:12.700 I schooled him up

01:46:13.440 on how to get it

01:46:14.140 and how to do it? 0.99

01:46:15.240 Motherfucker never did it. 1.00

01:46:16.500 No, seriously. 1.00

01:46:17.340 I put pussy in from his face 1.00

01:46:17.820 and he wouldn't eat it. 1.00

01:46:18.920 I broke down three times

01:46:21.520 during this episode

01:46:22.320 and I did not expect

01:46:23.200 to cry at all.

01:46:23.980 It was bizarre.

01:46:25.460 Totally bizarre.

01:46:26.580 So enjoy that.

01:46:27.020 You can lead 1.00

01:46:27.720 a toad to pussy 1.00

01:46:28.400 but you can't make him eat. 1.00

01:46:29.980 That's right.

01:46:31.800 Dude,

01:46:32.300 I've had Chinese food

01:46:34.060 so I've probably eaten cat.

01:46:35.320 I already said that

01:46:36.440 earlier in the show. 1.00

01:46:37.320 Fuck you, Toad. 1.00

01:46:37.960 I already said that. 1.00

01:46:39.300 Earlier in the show,

01:46:40.200 I made that same exact joke.

01:46:41.820 What?

01:46:42.040 I forgot to mention

01:46:42.660 my birthday is on Friday.

01:46:45.760 If you want to support me,

01:46:47.180 please go over to Twitter.

01:46:48.660 Follow.

01:46:49.140 I'm 4,800 followers

01:46:50.480 away from 100,000

01:46:51.760 on Twitter.

01:46:52.820 We're at Liberty Lockpot.

01:46:53.820 Thank you so much.

01:46:55.200 Top, real quick,

01:46:56.400 those Dinger shirts,

01:46:58.780 was that ever going to be?

01:46:59.620 We talked about making those

01:47:00.720 into actual baseball shirts

01:47:02.540 with our names on the back.

01:47:04.680 I've been too busy

01:47:06.000 but I'll look more into it.

01:47:07.260 But I actually have seen

01:47:08.360 a nice actual baseball jersey

01:47:11.360 thing that we can do

01:47:12.080 so I just got to figure out

01:47:13.180 the other side of it.

01:47:14.520 But yeah.

01:47:15.100 I would love to do that.

01:47:17.100 I don't know if it would be

01:47:18.000 exclusive just for the

01:47:19.760 Tower Gang members

01:47:20.700 or if we could.

01:47:21.320 That would be a really cool

01:47:22.880 also locals thing

01:47:24.560 to let them like

01:47:26.180 we would have our own

01:47:27.500 and then people could buy.

01:47:28.920 Yo, I would love to see that. 0.99

01:47:30.540 If we could have a fucking 0.99

01:47:31.320 whole crowd filled with people 0.99

01:47:32.640 that are rocking

01:47:33.080 Tower Gang jerseys

01:47:34.260 that'd be sick as hell.

01:47:35.520 Yeah, I wonder who's

01:47:36.600 they would buy the most.

01:47:39.220 That would actually be

01:47:39.680 kind of fun.

01:47:40.740 That would be a great idea.

01:47:42.540 I'm wearing a Top Lobster jersey

01:47:44.040 so I would hope

01:47:45.180 that everyone would play.

01:47:45.840 Dude, I would wear

01:47:46.320 like a Russell jersey

01:47:47.720 just got like the Russell 69.

01:47:49.940 I'm going to wear

01:47:50.740 I'm going to wear Kohl's.

01:47:52.620 Hell yeah.

01:47:53.320 That's what I thought.

01:47:53.460 So none of us

01:47:54.360 are wearing our own.

01:47:55.460 I don't even like myself.

01:47:56.560 I'll wear my own.

01:47:57.600 I just want to rep you guys. 1.00

01:47:59.400 Fuck that. 1.00

01:47:59.560 Wait, what are we talking about? 1.00

01:48:00.500 I'm so selfish.

01:48:01.360 Wait, we're talking about

01:48:02.800 whose skin we want to wear, right?

01:48:05.200 Oh.

01:48:06.460 Okay.

01:48:08.500 Off.

01:48:10.020 But so just for me

01:48:11.560 Fatcomic Dave

01:48:12.700 Tower King Cole

01:48:13.540 on Twitter

01:48:14.360 and then we should be back

01:48:15.760 on Elijah Schaefer's own show

01:48:17.520 pretty soon.

01:48:18.640 Oh yeah, next week.

01:48:19.200 If Clint ever 0.98

01:48:23.700 fucking signs this deal 0.98

01:48:24.960 with TimCast 0.99

01:48:26.200 once he gets that 1.00

01:48:27.040 fucking ink is dry 1.00

01:48:28.380 we're going to be getting 0.99

01:48:29.500 that Top Lobster's house

01:48:30.540 and doing some RL content.

01:48:32.720 Yep.

01:48:33.040 And I am on

01:48:34.400 on next Tuesday

01:48:35.780 so make sure you check that out.

01:48:37.780 And in the chat

01:48:38.580 yo, in the chat

01:48:39.440 if you guys want to 0.98

01:48:40.380 fucking send some 0.98

01:48:41.860 super chat saying 1.00

01:48:42.560 Poker with the Boys

01:48:43.600 Clint hosting 1.00

01:48:44.580 what the fuck 1.00

01:48:45.420 let's go 1.00

01:48:46.240 you know, shit like that. 1.00

01:48:47.320 That's right. 0.99

01:48:49.160 Yeah.

01:48:49.880 Tower Gang Toad on Twitter

01:48:51.040 like I said

01:48:51.700 I will accept 0.99

01:48:52.800 female titties only 1.00

01:48:54.260 and I will 1.00

01:48:54.640 show the

01:48:55.720 belly button proof.

01:48:57.600 Follow Tower Gang

01:48:58.540 Pod everywhere

01:48:59.420 we're on YouTube still

01:49:00.580 somehow

01:49:01.000 we're on Rumble

01:49:01.820 Odyssey

01:49:03.400 which I guess

01:49:04.020 we don't speak about anymore

01:49:05.020 we go up on Spotify

01:49:06.100 find us everywhere

01:49:07.040 go to the locals

01:49:07.840 and throw us

01:49:08.520 some support

01:49:09.300 towergang.locals.com

01:49:11.200 I just put up

01:49:12.100 the Patreon streams

01:49:13.760 that we did back

01:49:14.280 when we were still

01:49:14.700 on Patreon

01:49:15.140 those are linked

01:49:15.900 on the locals now

01:49:17.340 so

01:49:17.700 hell yeah

01:49:18.720 Tower Gang

01:49:19.520 thanks

01:49:20.360 hell yeah

01:49:20.840 hell yeah

01:49:21.940 alright guys

01:49:22.680 thank you

01:49:23.000 remember

01:49:23.340 if anybody's

01:49:25.360 going to Dave's show

01:49:26.480 tomorrow

01:49:26.820 say hi to me

01:49:27.440 that's all

01:49:28.100 oh yeah

01:49:28.600 that's right

01:49:28.900 and thanks for

01:49:30.140 popping in on Wednesday

01:49:31.520 we will see you next Wednesday

01:49:32.720 don't forget

01:49:33.940 hell yeah

01:49:34.580 stay white and proud

01:49:35.440 peace

01:49:37.300 no waste mixing

01:49:38.120 it's the Tower Power Hour 0.99

01:49:40.200 slut 1.00

01:49:40.800 to the Tower Power Hour 1.00

01:49:41.980 bitch 1.00

01:49:42.460 no way Jose 0.98

01:49:43.400 Liberty Lockdown

01:49:45.120 to the Tower Power Hour

01:49:46.300 Clint 1.00

01:49:46.480 bitch 1.00

01:49:47.000 Reed 0.99

01:49:48.140 Cole

01:49:50.800 Top Lobster

01:49:52.900 and Toad

01:49:53.840 Tower Gang

01:49:55.120 Tower Gang

01:49:55.620 Tower Gang

01:49:56.120 Tower Gang

01:49:56.680 Tower Gang

01:49:57.660 Tower Gang

01:49:58.160 Liberty Lock

01:49:59.460 is truth say

01:50:00.260 same with Lobster

01:50:01.640 Cole and Jose

01:50:02.600 Toad is sick

01:50:03.980 no way Jose

01:50:04.880 it's the Tower Power Hour 0.98

01:50:06.280 slut 1.00

01:50:06.680 they made Dave 1.00

01:50:07.420 spit all his 0.84

01:50:08.180 Tower Gang

01:50:08.660 Tower Gang

01:50:09.160 Tower Gang

01:50:09.640 Tower Gang

01:50:10.180 Tower Gang

01:50:10.660 Tower Gang

01:50:11.240 Tower Gang

01:50:11.720 Tower Gang

01:50:12.300 Tower Gang

01:50:12.640 Tower Gang

01:50:13.120 Tower Gang

01:50:13.640 Tower Gang

01:50:14.060 Tower Gang

01:50:14.640 they speak courage

01:50:15.640 you sped

01:50:16.180 sped

01:50:16.560 more than Rogan

01:50:17.640 you fed

01:50:18.200 you fed

01:50:18.660 truth bomb

01:50:19.180 weather

01:50:19.560 dimcast

01:50:20.180 hotel

01:50:20.460 hotel

01:50:20.980 more offensive

01:50:22.020 LOS

01:50:22.920 no disrespect

01:50:23.840 more offensive

01:50:24.660 than LOS

01:50:25.280 no disrespect

01:50:25.940 yes I am

01:50:26.700 redhead libertarian

01:50:27.660 is their best friend

01:50:28.380 unless they get raided

01:50:29.740 then they never met

01:50:30.580 never met

01:50:31.140 none of this 0.99

01:50:31.740 shit be new to me 0.99

01:50:32.680 truly 1.00

01:50:33.040 Clint is a sexual 1.00

01:50:34.180 brute to me 1.00

01:50:34.700 sorry

01:50:35.040 no booster seat

01:50:35.840 get them tall boots 0.63

01:50:36.640 on you 1.00

01:50:36.900 fuck every podcast 1.00

01:50:38.200 that won't stoop to me 1.00

01:50:39.240 libertarian won't be

01:50:40.260 the same day revolution-y

01:50:41.640 that's a word

01:50:42.180 I miss grammar

01:50:43.020 and send it

01:50:43.520 and rhyme dubitedly

01:50:44.640 that too

01:50:45.120 promote myself

01:50:45.880 on their shot 1.00

01:50:46.600 stupidly 1.00

01:50:47.140 comedy philosophy 1.00

01:50:48.060 markrandom.com

01:50:49.200 user free

01:50:49.740 I'm single lady

01:50:50.980 so please choose a meet

01:50:52.200 they scream Tower Gang

01:50:53.680 worldwide

01:50:54.220 Tower Gang

01:50:54.680 Tower Gang rise

01:50:55.560 together we will overthrow

01:50:57.080 Tower Gang

01:50:58.640 Tower Gang

01:50:59.160 Tower Gang

01:50:59.640 Tower Gang

01:51:00.200 Tower Gang

01:51:01.260 Tower Gang

01:51:01.840 Liberty lock is truth say

01:51:03.700 Same with Lobster Coal and Jose

01:51:06.100 Toad is sick no way Jose

01:51:08.320 If you read I ride Jose with Jose

01:51:11.120 Pay me dates with all his fame

01:51:13.580 Tower Gang

01:51:14.040 Tower Gang

01:51:15.160 Tower Gang

01:51:15.620 Tower Gang

01:51:16.260 Tower Gang

01:51:17.140 Pay me dates with all his fame

01:51:19.000 Tower Gang

01:51:19.520 Tower Gang

01:51:20.200 Tower Gang

01:51:21.200 Tower Gang

01:51:21.560 Tower Gang

01:51:22.640 Tower Gang

01:51:23.140 Tower Gang

01:51:23.680 Tower Gang 0.97

01:51:24.020 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllable here 0.93

01:51:30.060 Tower game tower game tower game tower game tower game tower game tower game tower 0.92

Tower Gang - August 03, 2023

Ep 134 - Joo-Doo

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript