Tower Gang - Ep 143 - Scrumdiddlyumptious

00:00:00.000 It's power again Wednesday motherfuckers 1.00

00:00:12.540 What's up retards 1.00

00:00:16.540 I'm trying to start a cult here baby 1.00

00:00:18.800 So I can only fit a third of my dick 1.00

00:00:20.760 Into Toad's 1.00

00:00:21.740 Mussy 1.00

00:00:22.960 You wanna kill me or you wanna give me a bone 1.00

00:00:26.440 I don't know 1.00

00:00:27.080 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny 1.00

00:00:30.240 Woe is me, I'm retarded 1.00

00:00:32.780 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're 0.99

00:00:36.700 The three of you had a threesome of some kind 1.00

00:00:40.780 I was watching it and jerking off 1.00

00:00:43.960 And 1.00

00:00:44.520 Fucking ass 1.00

00:00:46.520 Toad's on fire 1.00

00:00:48.600 She was a 10 in real life

00:00:50.340 She's like a dead 8 0.99

00:00:51.840 Lewis, you're like a brother to me

00:00:55.340 Donald Trump

00:00:56.000 Come on tower gang

00:00:57.060 Tower gang is the most offensive podcast 1.00

00:00:59.940 Fat Dave, fuck you man 1.00

00:01:01.900 It's not what this show is about 1.00

00:01:08.820 This shit is retarded 1.00

00:01:10.060 It's Wednesday and you've tuned into the right channel bitch 1.00

00:01:15.920 Black History Month is upon us 0.80

00:01:18.400 And that is why

00:01:19.420 We still celebrate the blacks

00:01:21.820 This is Clint Russell

00:01:22.940 Thanks so much

00:01:23.840 That's February

00:01:25.960 Clint Russell

00:01:26.960 No dude 1.00

00:01:28.300 Black History Month is every fucking month 1.00

00:01:30.140 You idiot 1.00

00:01:30.640 You racist 1.00

00:01:31.420 You're right 0.99

00:01:32.320 It's Black History year, Toad 1.00

00:01:34.040 God, this guy doesn't know shit 1.00

00:01:35.340 You know what? 1.00

00:01:36.000 Yo, I just took for granted

00:01:36.720 Black History Month is last about 3-4 beat

00:01:38.720 I only celebrate white history 1.00

00:01:41.980 Because history is written by the victors

00:01:43.760 So that's the only history

00:01:45.140 Oh god

00:01:47.140 Top to say what you said

00:01:49.600 I was going to say

00:01:50.140 You cut me off

00:01:51.180 I was going to say that

00:01:52.700 He said this month is Black History Month 0.98

00:01:55.200 And for all I knew

00:01:56.400 I was like

00:01:56.780 It might be

00:01:57.440 I was thinking

00:02:00.340 I was like

00:02:00.620 Why didn't we discuss it in the group chat

00:02:02.020 Wouldn't that be funny to talk about

00:02:03.500 Because it is

00:02:04.160 It's quite significant

00:02:05.700 It's the half anniversary of Black History Month

00:02:10.540 It's like six months

00:02:11.440 Well that's what I was like

00:02:12.940 Because I remember Black History Month already happening 1.00

00:02:15.140 I was like

00:02:15.520 Did they just put a second month as well?

00:02:17.420 Did they just get another month?

00:02:18.540 How many beats is that?

00:02:19.980 This could be reparations

00:02:20.960 They just give them more months

00:02:22.260 They just keep giving them months

00:02:23.240 And you get like

00:02:24.420 You get like 30% of the year

00:02:25.700 For being 30% of a human

00:02:26.820 They gave them September

00:02:28.180 They gave them September

00:02:29.860 To honor all the children

00:02:31.500 That have to go back to school

00:02:32.540 Without a father

00:02:33.020 They got to explain to them

00:02:34.700 They're like

00:02:35.080 Listen

00:02:35.360 It's a half a year from now

00:02:36.720 So that's going to be about 3,000 beeps

00:02:38.560 And they're like

00:02:38.980 Oh

00:02:39.160 Let me put in my beep counter

00:02:44.740 I'll be straight

00:02:45.580 It's a beep trigger

00:02:47.360 Semi-annual reminder

00:02:48.260 I don't want to

00:02:50.060 We don't keep clocks around these parts

00:02:52.240 We just got beep counters

00:02:53.480 You know what I'm talking about?

00:02:54.560 You think there's an app

00:02:55.520 That already has like

00:02:56.780 The beep

00:02:58.800 The black market police app 0.96

00:03:00.560 It's like 90% black people 0.88

00:03:02.440 That just buy it 0.93

00:03:03.260 So when they're at work

00:03:05.220 Or they're outside

00:03:05.820 Not at work, sorry

00:03:06.740 When they're just out of the house

00:03:07.900 They just turn on their beep timer

00:03:09.140 And they like

00:03:09.680 It syncs to their

00:03:11.220 Like you have to put it on

00:03:12.700 With your already one at home

00:03:14.100 And it syncs at the same time

00:03:15.600 So they just go

00:03:16.340 And it's like

00:03:16.860 While they're walking around

00:03:17.520 You just hear

00:03:17.780 Beep

00:03:18.520 And they're like

00:03:19.080 Alright, I know

00:03:19.900 That app got the

00:03:21.900 Got like the model number

00:03:22.860 It's like

00:03:23.040 Did you get a Panasonic?

00:03:24.540 Is it

00:03:24.740 Because a Panasonic

00:03:25.380 They know it beeps 31 seconds 1.00

00:03:27.640 They just fucking really specify your shit 1.00

00:03:30.500 Clint Russell 1.00

00:03:31.560 Host of Liberty Lockdown

00:03:33.060 We got Top Lobster

00:03:33.780 Host of Top Lobster.com

00:03:35.140 We got Jose

00:03:35.860 Host of No Way Jose

00:03:36.900 We got Cole

00:03:37.640 Host of Fat Comic Dave

00:03:38.900 And we got Toad

00:03:39.880 Host of Better Off Dead

00:03:40.880 Thank you for joining us once again

00:03:41.900 Go ahead

00:03:42.200 I'm not letting this thought go

00:03:43.320 The thought was

00:03:44.080 You know how there's a black Twitter, right? 1.00

00:03:46.180 You got like

00:03:46.760 There's a whole subsection

00:03:47.840 That you could really never see

00:03:49.060 Unless you get into that algorithm

00:03:50.720 There's probably like

00:03:52.400 A black marketplace 0.95

00:03:54.640 Google marketplace

00:03:55.440 Within the Google marketplace

00:03:56.640 That we don't know 1.00

00:03:57.480 It's like shit 1.00

00:03:58.460 Like apps for black people 1.00

00:03:59.600 That we would find mundane 0.87

00:04:01.220 Like a beep counter

00:04:02.320 Like probably

00:04:02.820 What does this mean?

00:04:03.580 It's called chirp

00:04:04.380 I have it on my phone

00:04:05.540 I mean

00:04:06.900 You know what?

00:04:09.080 Yo, can you imagine the reviews?

00:04:10.560 Imagine

00:04:11.160 Imagine what reviews would be like

00:04:12.760 Be like

00:04:13.400 Yo

00:04:13.900 Pay like

00:04:15.060 Like five racks

00:04:16.100 Never even came, man 1.00

00:04:17.480 Fuck people 1.00

00:04:18.060 No, I really wonder though 1.00

00:04:21.020 If we could

00:04:21.600 You know how like

00:04:22.260 Hitler like 0.99

00:04:22.820 Made the

00:04:23.200 The trains run time

00:04:25.700 I wonder if we can make this app

00:04:26.900 If we can just like

00:04:27.820 Like

00:04:28.440 Just increase the efficiency

00:04:29.780 Of like a Popeyes

00:04:30.680 By like 2,000%

00:04:31.900 Because they're always on time now

00:04:33.920 Like

00:04:34.240 Just install a beep

00:04:35.640 My neural capabilities

00:04:37.500 Went up by 20%

00:04:38.900 When I was getting

00:04:39.680 Consistent beeps

00:04:40.700 I love the thought

00:04:43.060 My IQ up by like

00:04:44.200 Four, five beep

00:04:44.920 I swear to God

00:04:45.580 All minimum wage jobs 0.93

00:04:47.080 Just become like

00:04:48.000 Crazy good all of a sudden

00:04:49.520 Like you know how

00:04:50.100 Usually you go to like

00:04:51.060 Like somewhere

00:04:51.940 And you're like

00:04:52.400 I see who works here

00:04:53.740 It's not going to be good service

00:04:54.640 Or whatever

00:04:55.000 All of a sudden

00:04:55.640 They start hearing beeps

00:04:56.600 And they're just like

00:04:57.220 How you doing sir?

00:04:58.480 It's good to meet you

00:04:59.180 Like they go fully white

00:05:00.880 I think we figured it all out 1.00

00:05:03.120 Like there is no fucking 0.99

00:05:04.160 Difference in IQ folks 0.99

00:05:05.260 You've got that all wrong

00:05:06.500 It's just

00:05:06.940 The non-beep life

00:05:08.400 Violent crime drops dramatically

00:05:10.220 What I haven't figured out

00:05:13.780 Is every time

00:05:15.180 Like we're doing

00:05:16.180 These kind of jokes

00:05:17.060 Jose chimes in 1.00

00:05:18.480 With the fucking 1.00

00:05:19.060 Like the banger 1.00

00:05:19.880 But it's always

00:05:20.660 The most racist bangers

00:05:22.240 Like that's the ones

00:05:22.980 That he gets 0.95

00:05:23.600 Because you killed me 0.95

00:05:25.000 On that one 0.87

00:05:25.440 Just right there

00:05:25.940 But I was like

00:05:26.500 Maybe Jose really is racist

00:05:28.460 Like deep down to his core

00:05:29.720 Oh yeah

00:05:30.080 For sure

00:05:30.680 Absolutely not

00:05:31.260 He also looks more tired

00:05:32.500 Oh thanks George Jefferson

00:05:34.080 I don't even know

00:05:35.760 The banger you're referring to 1.00

00:05:36.740 I was just saying stuff

00:05:37.900 I'm jealous of Jose now

00:05:39.980 I thought that was my role

00:05:40.940 Being the guy who you think

00:05:42.100 Is actually racist 0.95

00:05:43.120 Oh I think you're racist too 0.98

00:05:46.360 I think we're all racist 0.99

00:05:48.580 I think everyone in here 1.00

00:05:50.260 Is racist as fuck 1.00

00:05:51.200 Except for me 1.00

00:05:51.920 That's my honest opinion

00:05:54.900 You know what

00:05:56.000 I think the same

00:05:56.720 But for me

00:05:57.300 So like I think we're all

00:05:58.700 It's not racist

00:06:00.020 You can intellectualize it

00:06:01.600 So

00:06:01.980 It's not racist

00:06:03.840 If I'm smarter than them

00:06:04.780 At that point

00:06:06.120 It's just brain power

00:06:06.580 Racism

00:06:06.780 It's race realism 0.62

00:06:07.840 I read a book about it

00:06:09.380 It's just realism

00:06:11.740 Oh Clint

00:06:12.980 Did you watch

00:06:13.960 Your mom's house today

00:06:14.800 Because there was

00:06:15.540 A segment in that show

00:06:16.840 That was perfectly fit for you

00:06:18.860 And I

00:06:19.480 I started it

00:06:20.880 But

00:06:21.100 I messaged you

00:06:22.000 And I said

00:06:22.480 Have you watched it yet

00:06:23.260 Okay

00:06:23.780 They did a whole segment

00:06:25.380 On taking naps

00:06:26.900 Whenever company is over

00:06:28.720 I swear to god

00:06:29.960 And Christine

00:06:31.300 Puszycki 1.00

00:06:33.000 People do that shit 1.00

00:06:34.360 No 1.00

00:06:34.820 She was like

00:06:35.400 I've never tried it before

00:06:36.340 And she was like

00:06:37.120 We had some friends over

00:06:38.340 And she just went

00:06:39.660 And took a nap

00:06:40.360 In the middle

00:06:40.800 She was like

00:06:41.480 While they were there

00:06:42.060 And the funniest part

00:06:43.780 It was exactly the same

00:06:45.120 As whenever we're

00:06:45.780 At your parents house

00:06:46.500 Because they were like

00:06:47.260 Let's go out to the pool

00:06:48.060 And Christine was like

00:06:49.180 Yeah I'll go out to the pool

00:06:49.900 And so they went out there

00:06:51.100 And they were out there

00:06:51.700 And they were out there

00:06:51.720 For like five minutes

00:06:52.920 And they were like

00:06:53.280 Where's Christine at

00:06:53.920 And he was like

00:06:54.280 Oh she's probably

00:06:54.900 Just getting changed

00:06:55.500 Or whatever

00:06:55.860 And they're like

00:06:56.900 Twenty minutes past

00:06:57.600 And they're like

00:06:57.880 Where's Christine

00:06:58.520 And Christine went to get 1.00

00:07:01.100 Like changed into her swimsuit

00:07:02.200 And was like

00:07:02.540 I'm gonna take a nap instead

00:07:03.740 I was like

00:07:04.760 This is Clint 0.99

00:07:05.700 Holy shit 0.99

00:07:06.840 And she was like 0.99

00:07:08.780 It's the best thing ever

00:07:09.620 She was like

00:07:10.100 You wake up

00:07:10.680 You feel refreshed

00:07:11.480 You go down there

00:07:12.220 And you're like

00:07:12.540 What's up guys

00:07:13.140 And you just

00:07:13.520 It was incredible

00:07:15.020 Because like

00:07:15.420 I come out

00:07:15.920 I'm all well rested

00:07:16.840 Everybody else is like

00:07:17.940 Hung over almost already

00:07:19.420 Some people are like 0.99

00:07:20.180 Super shit house 1.00

00:07:22.040 Toad's been thrown up 0.99

00:07:22.940 For an hour and a half

00:07:23.620 I'm like

00:07:24.000 I'm ready to rock guys

00:07:25.480 Let's go

00:07:25.980 I couldn't believe it

00:07:27.840 When I was like

00:07:28.620 Oh my god

00:07:29.460 Clint's on to something

00:07:30.500 Or these two people 0.86

00:07:32.040 Are absolutely deranged 0.97

00:07:33.280 Don't ever doubt me again 0.98

00:07:35.720 You're the latter

00:07:36.520 Probably the latter

00:07:37.000 Yes you and a female comedian

00:07:38.580 Have the same body type

00:07:39.920 Clint

00:07:40.340 We're both going through menopause

00:07:41.940 Leave us alone 1.00

00:07:42.500 I would fuck both of them 1.00

00:07:45.120 But you're saying that 1.00

00:07:46.000 Christine

00:07:47.180 Was the host in this case though

00:07:49.440 Yeah it was her house

00:07:50.600 And she had people over to her house 0.97

00:07:51.960 That's a wild move

00:07:52.420 That's even more boss

00:07:53.600 Yeah that's way crazy

00:07:55.340 And just being like

00:07:56.100 I'm gonna take a nap

00:07:57.160 See you guys

00:07:57.740 And then just be out

00:07:58.460 And like the guests are like

00:08:00.080 Okay

00:08:00.740 For like an hour

00:08:01.940 Like hour or two hours

00:08:03.000 Well yeah because

00:08:03.420 When you're the host

00:08:04.480 You're hosting the whole thing

00:08:06.100 It's like

00:08:06.320 Where is this person

00:08:08.020 At least if you're a guest

00:08:09.000 It's you know

00:08:09.580 Kind of just like

00:08:10.100 Why did she do it 0.99

00:08:10.980 Why did

00:08:11.380 Like was she trying to 1.00

00:08:12.380 Fuck with them 1.00

00:08:12.900 Or did she just do it 1.00

00:08:13.640 No what she said was

00:08:15.280 Her dad used to do this

00:08:16.620 She was like

00:08:17.140 I would come

00:08:17.940 She was like

00:08:18.340 I wouldn't see my dad a lot

00:08:19.220 So I'd come home from college

00:08:20.300 And they'd be hanging out

00:08:21.160 And then he would just be like

00:08:21.920 I'm gonna go sleep now

00:08:22.960 And he would just like

00:08:23.700 In the middle of the day

00:08:24.080 Just go take a nap

00:08:24.780 Like while she was over

00:08:26.420 And so she was like

00:08:27.840 She was like

00:08:28.280 I'll try it out

00:08:29.180 See if he was on to something

00:08:30.180 She said she'd try it out

00:08:31.220 Said it was great

00:08:32.080 And I was like

00:08:33.860 Midday

00:08:34.240 What's the psychology of that

00:08:35.660 Nap when you have company over

00:08:37.000 Try it out

00:08:37.900 It's very European 1.00

00:08:40.960 I feel

00:08:41.480 Is napping really that bizarre

00:08:42.780 To you guys

00:08:43.540 No but no

00:08:44.780 Napping's not bizarre

00:08:45.780 It's the fact that

00:08:46.900 You do it whenever

00:08:48.100 Like you're with company

00:08:49.280 Or you have company over

00:08:50.660 Like you're just like

00:08:51.900 It wasn't like

00:08:53.420 It wasn't like

00:08:53.860 I came over that day

00:08:55.220 And I was like

00:08:55.800 Hey

00:08:56.120 Nice to see you guys

00:08:57.100 No wait

00:08:59.460 Here's the move

00:09:00.040 This is what you

00:09:00.680 And I swear to god

00:09:01.600 I might do this

00:09:02.420 The next time I have

00:09:03.220 Like company that doesn't

00:09:04.100 Know me too well

00:09:04.820 And they like

00:09:05.700 Invite them over

00:09:06.400 And then invite them all

00:09:07.720 To take a nap

00:09:08.460 In separate rooms

00:09:09.360 Like just as they walk

00:09:11.860 That's what Cole and his wife do 1.00

00:09:14.320 Damn 0.99

00:09:17.320 I just do the move 0.99

00:09:19.540 Where I like

00:09:20.280 Act like work went longer

00:09:21.660 But really I was just

00:09:22.400 Taking a nap in my car

00:09:23.460 That's more

00:09:25.140 You're that just regular

00:09:26.160 When you go back home

00:09:26.920 Right

00:09:27.160 Like he was like

00:09:27.920 I just don't want to be

00:09:28.500 Around the kids right now

00:09:29.460 No it's not sad 1.00

00:09:30.300 Napping is boss shit 1.00

00:09:31.420 I deserve a nap 1.00

00:09:32.160 I don't understand

00:09:34.180 All the hatred I get

00:09:35.020 For napping 1.00

00:09:35.480 It's fucking boss shit 1.00

00:09:36.600 It's no hatred bro 1.00

00:09:37.940 You're too poor

00:09:39.880 To understand 1.00

00:09:40.560 How fucking dope 1.00

00:09:41.320 Napping is 1.00

00:09:41.840 When you're grinding

00:09:43.380 You gotta nap baby

00:09:44.440 He's like

00:09:46.660 Yo I'm so tired

00:09:47.480 From carrying all this 1.00

00:09:48.180 Fucking money around 1.00

00:09:49.200 Boy 1.00

00:09:49.660 I need to sleep 1.00

00:09:51.480 You're fucking fool bitch 1.00

00:09:53.080 I gotta nap 1.00

00:09:54.020 Just so I can drop

00:09:54.780 These money bags down

00:09:55.840 Sometimes man

00:09:56.740 Keep carrying them around

00:09:58.400 Like three four beat 1.00

00:09:59.360 It's fucked up 0.99

00:10:00.280 You wouldn't get it Cole 1.00

00:10:02.380 You wouldn't get it

00:10:03.180 Y'all don't understand

00:10:05.200 My neck get cricked

00:10:06.620 There's actually another

00:10:09.040 Layer to this

00:10:09.940 Wait

00:10:10.120 Wait a second

00:10:11.160 Pick your microphone up

00:10:12.460 Pick it up

00:10:13.700 What's happening

00:10:14.320 Incredible

00:10:14.780 Incredible

00:10:15.620 I sent them the link too

00:10:17.080 I didn't even go

00:10:18.400 You were seven dollars 1.00

00:10:19.940 He's such a piece of shit 1.00

00:10:20.980 It's unbelievable 1.00

00:10:21.540 And this motherfucker 1.00

00:10:23.500 I'm like 1.00

00:10:24.400 I said

00:10:25.040 I'm gonna send it to him

00:10:25.820 I sent it to him

00:10:26.420 On like Wednesday

00:10:27.200 Of last week

00:10:27.780 And I said

00:10:28.100 We'll see you next week

00:10:28.780 What he does

00:10:29.460 Still know

00:10:29.860 Didn't even bother

00:10:30.540 To open the link

00:10:31.200 Right

00:10:31.440 I'm sending it again

00:10:33.060 I'm sending it again

00:10:34.760 Today

00:10:35.000 The man simply doesn't

00:10:35.880 You buy it

00:10:36.300 Send it to me

00:10:36.760 And I'll put it on there

00:10:37.680 Yeah I gotta fly out there

00:10:41.260 And screw it on there

00:10:41.960 For him too

00:10:42.380 Probably

00:10:43.940 He just keeps it in a bag 1.00

00:10:46.240 Next to the fucking 1.00

00:10:47.000 Toad 1.00

00:10:47.600 You get the mail bag ready

00:10:48.840 When you get a chance

00:10:49.420 Speaking of bags

00:10:50.620 Yeah we got the mail bag

00:10:51.760 Hold on

00:10:52.180 I also want to say this

00:10:53.540 Cole

00:10:54.060 Again

00:10:54.880 Just to get on you

00:10:56.080 This is how lazy he is

00:10:57.060 Like the audience

00:10:57.620 Doesn't understand

00:10:58.500 We're on episode 140

00:11:00.340 143

00:11:01.460 Okay

00:11:01.960 That means Cole's

00:11:03.260 Did 143 of these

00:11:04.600 And only today

00:11:05.740 Did he log in

00:11:07.000 For admin

00:11:07.780 Of like

00:11:08.880 Being able to pull up

00:11:09.800 The chat

00:11:10.120 I've never been

00:11:10.580 That's why I always

00:11:11.280 Told people

00:11:11.660 I was like

00:11:11.960 Pull up that comment 0.56

00:11:12.840 Because I was

00:11:13.460 Like if I was logged in

00:11:14.740 And it literally took

00:11:15.560 30 seconds

00:11:16.540 It was wild

00:11:19.040 30 seconds

00:11:20.080 Type this in

00:11:20.960 Okay you're in

00:11:21.720 This laziness

00:11:22.720 Is coming 0.99

00:11:23.420 Shut up 0.96

00:11:24.100 I've said this before 0.99

00:11:25.500 When this show started

00:11:26.620 Most of us had other things

00:11:28.240 Going on

00:11:28.660 The only people didn't

00:11:29.460 Was Toad and Cole

00:11:30.320 And we're like

00:11:30.640 Hey between you two

00:11:31.780 You handle all the

00:11:32.760 Like you know

00:11:33.280 Putting the links up

00:11:34.260 You know whatever

00:11:35.020 All that stuff 1.00

00:11:36.000 All the retard shit 1.00

00:11:37.060 You gotta do the retard shit 1.00

00:11:38.280 All the simple shit 1.00

00:11:39.260 It's not even hard 1.00

00:11:40.060 I have my own shit 0.99

00:11:41.200 It's not fucking hard 0.99

00:11:41.960 I did do it 0.93

00:11:43.240 No you didn't

00:11:44.300 Not really

00:11:44.780 I did it something

00:11:45.800 It's basically just

00:11:46.620 I did it something

00:11:47.760 I did it something

00:11:49.820 I did it something

00:11:50.420 I did it something

00:11:50.440 I did it something

00:11:51.200 No what I'll do is

00:11:52.360 I'll make the initial effort

00:11:54.380 And so like

00:11:54.860 When we first started it

00:11:55.660 I did log in to

00:11:56.800 Like the

00:11:57.460 Our YouTube

00:11:58.820 And our Twitter

00:11:59.340 I logged in all that

00:12:00.140 Well then at one point

00:12:01.280 I got logged out

00:12:02.220 And I was just like

00:12:03.120 I'm just not gonna log in again

00:12:04.300 And that happened about like

00:12:05.580 A hundred episodes ago

00:12:07.100 Yo see

00:12:07.520 Yo you live that

00:12:09.440 You live that nap life

00:12:10.680 But without like

00:12:11.360 Just taking the nap

00:12:12.280 You know what I mean

00:12:13.360 I take naps

00:12:14.860 But just like

00:12:15.560 Not going to sleep

00:12:16.380 I just like

00:12:16.860 I just still

00:12:17.460 I just still 0.97

00:12:18.420 You can shut your brain down 0.98

00:12:20.100 For a couple hours

00:12:20.840 And you just keep going

00:12:21.760 Also keep in mind guys

00:12:23.000 The conversion rate

00:12:23.980 Of episodes to years

00:12:25.120 Is about like 52-ish

00:12:26.600 Give or take

00:12:27.160 We do some bonus episodes

00:12:28.340 Here and there

00:12:28.880 But that's like two years

00:12:30.520 Cole's counting

00:12:31.500 The numbers of beeps now

00:12:33.780 Which is why

00:12:34.540 He's being so lazy about us

00:12:35.740 Can we address this

00:12:36.520 Because this is something

00:12:37.480 That I've thought about a lot

00:12:38.920 And it's not

00:12:39.400 Where is JC

00:12:40.460 He or she 0.99

00:12:41.180 Whoever the fuck JC 0.99

00:12:42.180 Is 0.99

00:12:42.520 Yeah I don't know what that means

00:12:43.900 So this is a weird show

00:12:45.180 Right

00:12:45.580 Tower Gang

00:12:46.300 I wouldn't say that

00:12:47.360 Like people just pop in

00:12:48.880 We have a weird community

00:12:49.240 No the only thing weird

00:12:50.820 About this show 0.99

00:12:51.360 Is that fucking 0.99

00:12:51.920 We're still on YouTube 0.99

00:12:52.780 It's crazy

00:12:54.280 I don't know how

00:12:55.120 But so anyway

00:12:56.200 This person JC

00:12:56.980 Comes in the chat

00:12:57.800 Every week

00:12:59.040 And just says

00:12:59.680 Oh my god hi

00:13:00.740 To whoever

00:13:01.620 And consistently

00:13:02.700 It's all they say

00:13:03.580 Oh that's right

00:13:04.040 JC

00:13:04.460 That's JC

00:13:05.080 I've never seen

00:13:06.560 A different comment

00:13:07.160 I've never seen him

00:13:07.580 Make a joke

00:13:09.100 It was just

00:13:10.200 Hey

00:13:10.520 Nope

00:13:11.280 And he knows everybody

00:13:11.940 It just says hi

00:13:12.520 Yo it's community though

00:13:13.800 That's dope

00:13:14.780 No it's weird

00:13:15.560 Someone said it's

00:13:16.040 Jesus Christ

00:13:16.660 That's full

00:13:17.940 JC

00:13:18.600 Jesus Christ

00:13:19.560 Jesus Christ in the chat 1.00

00:13:20.500 Oh shit 0.99

00:13:21.120 Jesus watches the show 1.00

00:13:22.520 I'm not going to hell

00:13:25.000 I mean

00:13:26.140 Jesus Christ is what I

00:13:28.060 What I say

00:13:28.880 When I see anything

00:13:29.740 That he comments

00:13:30.460 In there

00:13:31.060 God that was so weak

00:13:33.080 It was just so weak

00:13:34.120 It's just like

00:13:34.560 There's nothing even there

00:13:35.460 Honestly

00:13:37.240 Honestly like

00:13:37.560 If Jesus was real

00:13:38.960 And like still alive

00:13:39.880 Don't you think

00:13:40.400 He'd be like a big fan

00:13:41.400 Probably

00:13:42.200 Of the show

00:13:42.700 No because 1.00

00:13:43.860 He hung out with the whores 1.00

00:13:45.120 And the 1.00

00:13:45.720 And like the people

00:13:46.820 That did drugs 1.00

00:13:47.380 And all that shit 0.99

00:13:47.880 So he would be like 1.00

00:13:48.640 In our chat

00:13:49.200 And he'd be like

00:13:49.540 Hey guys

00:13:49.820 We're the lepers for sure

00:13:50.840 Yeah he'd be like

00:13:51.620 Hey guys you need to like

00:13:52.500 Stop but I'm gonna still be here

00:13:53.880 And like you know

00:13:54.660 Supporting y'all

00:13:55.340 But like

00:13:56.040 Maybe go to church

00:13:57.300 Once or twice 1.00

00:13:58.000 Coming down with the gay shit 1.00

00:14:00.820 Like he's a cool youth 1.00

00:14:02.200 He was like

00:14:02.760 I love that you're hating 0.99

00:14:03.760 On the blacks 1.00

00:14:04.420 And the 0.92

00:14:05.120 Trannies 1.00

00:14:06.400 He's like

00:14:06.780 That's cool

00:14:07.240 That's cool

00:14:07.720 He was like

00:14:08.960 Stop having threesomes

00:14:09.900 So tonight he's not here 0.96

00:14:13.800 And we're crucifying him

00:14:14.940 But then he'll be back 0.88

00:14:15.800 In three days

00:14:16.540 No we're not crucifying him

00:14:17.840 I'm asking

00:14:18.580 I'm just saying

00:14:19.640 Like in real life

00:14:20.480 Let's say

00:14:21.000 All these people

00:14:21.720 Were sitting in front of us 1.00

00:14:23.120 While we were doing this shit 0.99

00:14:24.380 Like how we were in our house 0.99

00:14:25.340 What would that look like

00:14:26.640 It's pretty

00:14:27.520 Like they would be crazy

00:14:28.420 But what would JC look like

00:14:30.160 In there

00:14:30.400 Just walking up to the next person

00:14:31.820 And saying

00:14:32.180 Oh my god hi

00:14:32.920 Oh that would be so great

00:14:33.600 If they were still live commenting

00:14:34.840 We just have hecklers

00:14:36.260 But like they're like

00:14:37.100 Happy hecklers

00:14:38.060 They're giving us jokes

00:14:40.100 Like where

00:14:40.560 They give us jokes

00:14:41.700 And we just say it back to them

00:14:42.820 Oh my god

00:14:43.400 This is so good

00:14:43.980 Yo that's the name

00:14:44.600 That's the name of these guys

00:14:45.600 They're happy hecklers

00:14:46.460 Dude if we ever meet JC

00:14:47.480 He's totally

00:14:48.200 Like if he ever goes to an event

00:14:49.380 Of ours

00:14:49.620 He's totally gonna just like

00:14:50.660 Do the thing where he's like

00:14:52.040 Kind of like a girl 0.98

00:14:52.680 With a new engagement ring

00:14:53.780 They kind of do like this a lot

00:14:55.080 But he's gonna do it

00:14:56.280 With oh my god hi

00:14:57.180 He'd be like

00:14:57.820 Oh my god hi

00:14:58.880 Cole

00:14:59.680 Dude I

00:15:01.120 Oh my god

00:15:01.960 Hi

00:15:02.500 And he's just gonna

00:15:03.820 He's just gonna wait

00:15:04.580 Like you know who I am right

00:15:06.300 Come on

00:15:06.940 You know 0.96

00:15:07.620 I just want to hang

00:15:09.320 With the guys who are

00:15:10.160 Dropping the live end towers

00:15:11.760 He literally said

00:15:13.120 I just want to hang

00:15:14.100 Like that was 0.91

00:15:15.260 Like if I was a psychologist

00:15:17.120 I was like

00:15:17.640 That's a Freudian slip

00:15:18.740 Freudian slip

00:15:19.700 He's like 0.81

00:15:19.920 Just want to hang

00:15:20.660 For the record

00:15:21.880 JC I know you're gonna watch this back 0.68

00:15:23.740 And I love that you're so fucking nice to everybody in the chat

00:15:27.400 By the way 0.58

00:15:27.980 Anytime I'm like watching part of the problem live

00:15:30.320 Or any

00:15:31.080 Basically anything

00:15:32.080 If I comment

00:15:32.640 That person's there too

00:15:33.300 From my handle

00:15:34.200 They're always there

00:15:35.100 And they always go

00:15:35.880 Oh my god

00:15:36.640 Clint

00:15:37.040 Hi

00:15:37.480 It's crazy

00:15:40.040 At first

00:15:41.380 Wait

00:15:41.560 At first I thought

00:15:42.360 I'm like 1.00

00:15:42.800 Oh this person's just fucking with me 0.99

00:15:44.340 But no 0.99

00:15:45.080 I legitimately think

00:15:46.040 That they say

00:15:46.900 Oh my god

00:15:47.320 This person's here too

00:15:48.120 Hi

00:15:48.440 Like they might be like

00:15:49.500 I think they're really pumped

00:15:51.320 For any sleep 1.00

00:15:52.660 Try to fuck my mom 1.00

00:15:55.580 And take a nap son 1.00

00:15:56.600 I'm all out of moms 1.00

00:15:58.140 Hanging would be an appropriate way for me to go

00:16:02.840 Because then I would go the same way that my attempts at jokes go

00:16:06.140 Okay

00:16:06.880 You guys hear that noise?

00:16:09.640 If you could have made that a little bit more

00:16:11.820 A little more brevity

00:16:12.840 If you could have got that

00:16:13.740 Like that

00:16:14.360 That might have hit

00:16:15.700 I like the elements you're working with

00:16:17.240 It was en route to funny

00:16:19.660 You know what it was? 1.00

00:16:21.180 I was ready to shit on you no matter what you said 1.00

00:16:23.440 I know 1.00

00:16:24.020 That's the problem with shooting so many blanks

00:16:28.560 So many blanks

00:16:29.600 I just assume at some point

00:16:31.580 I'm kind of like 0.75

00:16:32.440 Oh this is gonna suck 0.84

00:16:33.860 And then it's like 0.93

00:16:34.300 Oh that was not bad 1.00

00:16:35.420 Toad is nutting at every woman he fucks 1.00

00:16:38.020 If he did fuck 1.00

00:16:38.760 And he's just shooting blanks 1.00

00:16:39.980 And they're always like

00:16:40.620 Yeah for sure nutting me 1.00

00:16:42.020 I don't give a fuck 1.00

00:16:42.720 And they get pregnant one time 0.99

00:16:43.820 And they're like 1.00

00:16:44.120 What the fuck Toad 0.99

00:16:45.300 I thought you were like 1.00

00:16:46.140 Like infertile 0.99

00:16:47.380 Once in a while man 0.98

00:16:49.300 I will impregnate you with laughter 0.67

00:16:50.840 That's right

00:16:51.620 Hey before we go to that

00:16:54.120 I did wanna

00:16:54.580 There's something else on the

00:16:56.440 The beepers 0.99

00:16:58.260 Whatever the fucking 0.99

00:16:59.120 Fire alarm things 1.00

00:17:00.800 Did you know that a kid

00:17:02.900 Actually stole like

00:17:04.440 300 of those

00:17:05.480 To create

00:17:06.740 Plutonium

00:17:08.520 Right?

00:17:08.900 A Voltron

00:17:09.560 No he like

00:17:11.360 He just had the neeps

00:17:11.920 All going at once

00:17:12.800 No apparently

00:17:13.400 He was amazing power

00:17:14.260 Apparently there's

00:17:16.320 Jimmy Fox

00:17:16.900 In Spiderman

00:17:18.060 Just

00:17:18.380 No apparently there's

00:17:20.460 Radioactive material

00:17:21.940 In

00:17:22.600 Smoke alarms

00:17:22.800 Do you know how many

00:17:24.000 Bicycles I can steal

00:17:25.140 At this level?

00:17:31.440 Dude

00:17:32.000 There's

00:17:32.640 There's radioactive material

00:17:33.740 In

00:17:34.220 In fire alarms

00:17:36.360 He's a fiery man villain

00:17:37.600 In radioactive 1.00

00:17:38.360 Fucking beeps 1.00

00:17:39.760 The kid got arrested 1.00

00:17:41.820 Dude

00:17:42.200 Yo 300 beeps

00:17:44.400 Kick off all at once

00:17:45.440 I'm not paying my child support

00:17:54.760 This month

00:17:55.500 You put 300 beeps on a dude

00:17:58.240 He turns white 0.61

00:17:59.140 For real

00:17:59.660 He just 0.82

00:18:00.240 And the black 0.65

00:18:01.600 Just seeps out of him

00:18:03.020 Do you think if you have the 300 beeps all stacked on top of each other at once

00:18:07.360 that it's like one beep that's 300 times as loud as the black person hear it at that point?

00:18:12.440 Nope.

00:18:13.600 I don't know what he's saying there.

00:18:15.280 Eric July, I know you watch this show, Eric, while you're trimming your shoulder hair.

00:18:19.600 Listen.

00:18:20.820 He just gave you a super villain.

00:18:23.900 He doesn't have mad shoulder hair.

00:18:26.160 He doesn't have mad shoulder hair. 1.00

00:18:27.320 Top is the most New York motherfucker on the planet. 0.99

00:18:30.800 He just picks out the weirdest things. 0.99

00:18:33.060 I love Eric July, too.

00:18:35.220 I know you do.

00:18:36.300 He's dope.

00:18:37.580 I'm sorry, man.

00:18:38.440 He wears tank tops, but does he work out?

00:18:40.480 It doesn't look like he works out because he has flat shoulders, except for the hairy part.

00:18:43.760 Well, because he's like a thick boy, though.

00:18:45.920 He's built, but not like seeing that.

00:18:47.800 Now Cole wants to be like, am I stronger than Eric July?

00:18:50.760 Come on, Cole. 0.99

00:18:51.440 No, he's black. 1.00

00:18:52.080 He would destroy me. 1.00

00:18:54.600 Oh, probably, yeah, but so would Jose. 0.95

00:18:57.140 What sucks is I got a new chair, right?

00:18:58.740 And because I have armrests now, it keeps my arms elevated, so my shoulders are elevated.

00:19:04.080 Like, when I was down like this, I have shoulders and physique. 0.98

00:19:06.760 Now I'm like this, and I look like a fucking computer. 0.97

00:19:08.840 Oh, yeah, you're back. 0.96

00:19:10.280 By the way, real quick, though, Eric July, if you do take that concept for a super villain, 0.92

00:19:15.260 I'm going to believe in IP real fucking quick.

00:19:18.300 By the way, if we're going to be talking about the beeps tonight with these videos,

00:19:23.940 those two that were tweeted by somebody who has our account blocked,

00:19:28.000 I'm going to need somebody who's not blocked by him to share those.

00:19:31.160 What? 1.00

00:19:31.580 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:19:32.700 All right. 1.00

00:19:33.980 Yeah.

00:19:34.540 If it's the one where the dude gets murdered, we probably can't play that.

00:19:37.600 No, no, no, no, no.

00:19:38.680 It's beeps.

00:19:40.200 Not that one.

00:19:42.060 Well, there's the one where the beep, and then the dude brutally gets murdered. 1.00

00:19:44.680 Yeah, it's the funniest shit. 1.00

00:19:45.820 Also, there's the one with... 1.00

00:19:47.520 Yeah, it's the funniest shit. 0.99

00:19:49.300 Jose, you also sent the one where Luis J. Gomez has a beep in his house. 0.99

00:19:54.420 Yo.

00:19:55.440 I sent that one.

00:19:56.940 Yeah, okay, it was Tom that sent it.

00:19:58.420 It was like that Luis J. Gomez in his own house.

00:20:01.340 We don't play that.

00:20:01.820 We really got to do mail back.

00:20:04.300 Yeah, that's true.

00:20:04.880 What are we doing here?

00:20:06.160 Yo, yo, I don't think I can share because I'm not, like, whatever host.

00:20:09.940 So, sorry.

00:20:10.580 Hey, see?

00:20:11.700 It's not just me.

00:20:13.140 No, no, no.

00:20:13.500 We don't expect anything.

00:20:14.080 Clint has admitted to us that he's, like, I am not running.

00:20:19.000 Anything outside of getting on the show from now on.

00:20:21.080 You've met zero of our expectations.

00:20:22.260 You've literally, like, just...

00:20:23.500 Oh, I've never logged in as admin. 1.00

00:20:25.440 Fuck that shit. 1.00

00:20:26.080 This is your show. 1.00

00:20:27.320 I'm just here for the funding.

00:20:27.840 No, Clint, you can.

00:20:28.120 I saw it off.

00:20:29.100 Like, you couldn't put it off.

00:20:29.980 Clint's just a guest.

00:20:30.780 He's just been a guest for 100 episodes.

00:20:34.100 All right, mailbag.

00:20:35.900 No, Clint has admitted to...

00:20:37.620 He's admitted to not reading the chat, like, up until, like, maybe a couple weeks ago. 0.99

00:20:41.120 He's like, I don't even read that shit. 0.99

00:20:42.880 I don't read it. 1.00

00:20:43.900 Just keep it on full screen and look at us.

00:20:45.720 Conspiracy extremist. 0.99

00:20:47.180 Honest to God, like, if I put up the fucking YouTube chat, I'll just laugh at that the 0.99

00:20:52.640 entire time. 0.99

00:20:53.480 It's so funny.

00:20:55.720 They're funnier than us.

00:20:57.740 Conspiracy extremist says, snap, snap, sleep.

00:21:02.040 Okay, now that Clint is hypnotized, what's something you would add, change about his personality? 1.00

00:21:06.940 I would make him talk like a nigger. 1.00

00:21:09.660 He already does. 1.00

00:21:10.800 Yeah.

00:21:11.080 But like a smart one.

00:21:13.280 He's like a Thomas Sowell.

00:21:14.140 You just literally were just looking for the slightest opportunity to say the n-word.

00:21:17.940 You were being hacked?

00:21:18.520 Yeah, that's exactly...

00:21:18.980 Admit it?

00:21:19.940 No, no, no, no.

00:21:20.960 The other mailbags are not that funny.

00:21:23.540 So I had to choose.

00:21:24.520 By the way, I don't think hypnotism is a real thing, just for the record.

00:21:28.620 I think that, like, it's just people...

00:21:29.540 Now we can try to...

00:21:30.420 It's just people play-acting.

00:21:31.660 Is that your show?

00:21:32.580 No.

00:21:33.400 Like, I...

00:21:34.520 What do you mean, like...

00:21:35.420 All right, so here's how it works, right?

00:21:37.140 They, like, they put you to sleep, allegedly, but, like, you're following their instructions.

00:21:41.720 So you're like, all right, now look at your fingers.

00:21:44.300 Now count backwards.

00:21:45.580 Three, two, one. 1.00

00:21:46.500 I put your finger in your butt. 1.00

00:21:47.680 And you're like, okay, well, I've been following these commands, so, like, you don't know when 1.00

00:21:52.280 to stop following the commands, so you just keep following them.

00:21:55.280 So he's like, all right, now awake.

00:21:56.720 And then you're like, okay, I'm awake.

00:21:58.280 And then you just do whatever they say, and then they're like, see?

00:22:01.200 Now you're hypnotized.

00:22:02.100 And you're like, I just think you just talked to me, dude, and I did what you said.

00:22:05.680 I think he was just a nice guy.

00:22:07.260 I just, like...

00:22:08.760 I just think, like, we were in front of, like, 50,000 people, and I didn't want to embarrass

00:22:12.520 you, so I just did what you said.

00:22:14.420 That'd be really funny.

00:22:15.260 He's like, now sleeping, and you're just like...

00:22:18.980 That's what he did.

00:22:21.740 He's like, he's all, back to sleep.

00:22:23.060 And I was like...

00:22:24.480 I just did it.

00:22:25.420 I don't know.

00:22:26.840 The one thing that I would change about Clint, I would help him out, and I would raise his testosterone. 0.98

00:22:31.800 Dude, my testosterone is fucking, like, 18 times yours. 1.00

00:22:34.960 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:22:37.020 I'm trying to think... 1.00

00:22:37.660 We're gonna have to test it.

00:22:38.980 I really don't know what I'd change about anybody.

00:22:41.320 Because even though...

00:22:42.200 I'm sorry, what was the question?

00:22:44.020 What would we change about Clint?

00:22:45.940 Oh, okay.

00:22:46.920 Go ahead.

00:22:47.520 Personality-wise, maybe...

00:22:49.320 Yeah, change my personality.

00:22:50.400 Go ahead. 1.00

00:22:50.560 Like an inch off his height and his dick. 1.00

00:22:52.300 That's probably... 1.00

00:22:52.900 Oh, that's true.

00:22:53.940 Yeah.

00:22:54.160 Just even him out.

00:22:55.240 Bring him down more to middle. 0.60

00:22:56.560 He's a little humble himself.

00:22:57.740 Wow.

00:22:58.020 Like, not that we're really handicapping him in life, but enough to just, you know... 1.00

00:23:01.400 Maybe, okay, not an inch off of dick, too. 1.00

00:23:03.660 An inch off of dick is a little much. 1.00

00:23:04.580 Like, half an inch off of dick. 1.00

00:23:05.400 He can afford it. 1.00

00:23:05.980 I'm not gonna...

00:23:06.540 He can afford it.

00:23:06.860 He can afford it. 1.00

00:23:07.880 That's so fucked up. 1.00

00:23:09.160 Like, I would never wish that upon any of you. 1.00

00:23:11.720 I'd be like...

00:23:12.220 I'd be like... 1.00

00:23:12.840 I want you each to be five inches taller and have five inches more of dick, and you 1.00

00:23:16.120 guys are like... 1.00

00:23:16.400 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:23:16.980 An inch off your dick and an inch off your head. 1.00

00:23:18.440 You could be like me. 1.00

00:23:18.960 This is dick. 1.00

00:23:19.720 You could be like a big ass head and a big ass dick. 1.00

00:23:23.040 I want Clint to have an inch less on dick, but that inch gets spread out to all of us 1.00

00:23:26.720 as well. 1.00

00:23:27.340 Like, we get...

00:23:27.700 It's like a weird communism type of thing.

00:23:30.160 Like, we take...

00:23:30.700 Oh, dude, that's a...

00:23:31.300 We take from the wealth that you give to the poor.

00:23:33.420 Communism? 1.00

00:23:33.840 That shit sucks, dude. 1.00

00:23:35.000 Cock? 1.00

00:23:35.360 I'm not saying no. 1.00

00:23:36.340 I'm not saying no to a quarter inch on my dick. 1.00

00:23:39.200 Are you? 1.00

00:23:40.400 Would you no to?

00:23:40.900 No, I'm saying no. 1.00

00:23:41.760 Fuck y'all. 1.00

00:23:42.300 You can't have a dick. 1.00

00:23:42.700 Dude, they took a quarter inch off my dick when I was born. 1.00

00:23:44.900 Like, this is stupid. 1.00

00:23:45.500 Yes, I want another quarter inch. 1.00

00:23:46.580 Hold on.

00:23:47.620 This is up to us.

00:23:48.260 I know.

00:23:49.340 I know, but I don't like it.

00:23:50.180 We voted four to one. 0.99

00:23:51.400 We're cutting the dick and spreading it up. 1.00

00:23:53.960 I know I don't have any say in this, but it is my dick, and I'm going to fucking protest. 1.00

00:23:57.740 Sorry, Clint. 0.99

00:23:58.320 It's dickocracy. 0.99

00:24:00.580 He's trying to make this cock broke. 0.99

00:24:02.460 He tried it with cockymanism. 0.99

00:24:04.240 He said cockmanism.

00:24:05.500 I did.

00:24:05.980 I did. 0.94

00:24:06.340 It's dickocracy. 0.99

00:24:08.980 It's cockianism. 1.00

00:24:09.840 It's like fucking cock your mouth shut. 1.00

00:24:12.680 Hey, Toad, dickocracy was right there, and you went with cock somehow. 1.00

00:24:16.340 I don't know why, like, dickocracy was right there. 0.99

00:24:18.660 I don't know. 1.00

00:24:19.620 Yeah, you suck. 1.00

00:24:21.140 No, but for real, though, how are we splitting up this? 1.00

00:24:22.740 I feel like he doesn't need to be here for this.

00:24:24.060 How are we going to, how are we theoretically splitting up the quarter inch between us?

00:24:29.860 Well, it wasn't me for once.

00:24:31.700 Honestly, here's the other thing.

00:24:33.180 If you, would you rather take, you know, you know you're all taking a third. 0.99

00:24:35.980 And leaving Toad with none of my dick? 1.00

00:24:37.740 Come on. 1.00

00:24:38.380 Yeah, you ain't going to use it.

00:24:39.860 No, no, but here's the thing.

00:24:40.980 Would you rather...

00:24:41.660 It's true. 1.00

00:24:41.960 I'll fight you for Clint's dick. 1.00

00:24:44.000 Would you rather take... 1.00

00:24:45.160 Would you rather split up the dick size or the height? 0.99

00:24:48.760 Because, I mean, I feel like all of us could also use his height as well. 0.99

00:24:51.700 So, like... 1.00

00:24:53.700 Would you rather have an inch of my height or an inch of my dick? 1.00

00:24:57.580 Mmm. 1.00

00:24:58.760 Dick, if you want an inch of my dick... 1.00

00:25:00.020 I'm doing just fine. 1.00

00:25:01.240 All you gotta do is ask. 1.00

00:25:03.680 Yo, gay as fuck. 1.00

00:25:04.740 If you choose to inch my dick, you suck, okay, motherfucker? 1.00

00:25:08.520 Dude, I'll go with the dick. 1.00

00:25:09.740 It's worth it to have mine just reach, like, slightly above the belly button. 0.99

00:25:13.500 I mean, we're talking about a quarter inch here.

00:25:15.660 He says it again. 1.00

00:25:17.500 Yeah, I'd have to go a quarter inch of my dick, I guess. 1.00

00:25:20.120 But if it was a full inch, though... 1.00

00:25:21.620 Because a quarter inch of height means nothing, really.

00:25:22.680 But if it was a full inch of height... 0.99

00:25:24.760 A full inch of height or a quarter inch of dick... 1.00

00:25:26.720 Oh, no, a full inch of dick. 1.00

00:25:27.980 A full inch of dick or a full inch of height. 1.00

00:25:29.780 That's actually a good question. 1.00

00:25:30.960 Full inch of height, quarter inch of dick. 1.00

00:25:32.800 Which one? 1.00

00:25:33.820 You could choose.

00:25:34.520 Oh, a full inch of height.

00:25:36.460 Yeah.

00:25:36.780 No. 1.00

00:25:37.320 I don't need more dick. 1.00

00:25:38.080 I'm good. 1.00

00:25:38.480 Yeah, I think I'm good on the dick. 1.00

00:25:39.920 I mean, y'all see my peener. 0.99

00:25:42.100 Y'all see my peener.

00:25:43.220 I actually saw the video again the other day, and I was like... 0.99

00:25:45.760 I saw it, and I was like, that's a nice dick. 1.00

00:25:47.500 I was like, oh, it's my dick. 1.00

00:25:48.640 That's pretty cool. 1.00

00:25:49.200 It was a solid dick. 1.00

00:25:49.940 Push me up to eight. 1.00

00:25:50.820 Let's go.

00:25:51.120 Not bad.

00:25:51.420 Give me a quarter inch. 0.98

00:25:52.420 Let's go.

00:25:52.900 Not bad. 0.99

00:25:53.480 The finger up the ass was a little weird. 0.99

00:25:54.920 Everything else was just nice. 1.00

00:25:56.220 The butthole would be nice if it was manscaped. 0.99

00:25:59.520 All right. 0.99

00:25:59.940 I mean, I don't...

00:26:00.620 I feel like I'm pretty humble for my life being pretty good.

00:26:05.120 No, for what you have in your life, yeah. 0.99

00:26:07.580 So, like, why are y'all taking an inch off my dick and my height, then? 1.00

00:26:10.680 You know what? 0.99

00:26:11.280 Yeah, no one said that we can't...

00:26:12.620 I wasn't gonna...

00:26:13.220 No one said that we can't help him out.

00:26:15.340 Like, if I want to change something about Clint, I want to make him even richer.

00:26:18.080 Like, he gets five more million dollars.

00:26:20.140 Like, whatever.

00:26:20.700 Thank you.

00:26:21.020 It's just the manlets in us.

00:26:21.740 Yes, the thing was...

00:26:23.000 We can't help it, you know?

00:26:24.600 It was like, what would we take away from you?

00:26:25.640 We see someone taller, and we just want to knock him down a little bit.

00:26:29.340 That's what we...

00:26:29.920 The question was, like, what will we take away from you, almost?

00:26:32.520 It was, like, presented in a negative light.

00:26:34.320 Yeah, but you gotta take something away.

00:26:36.300 I went positive with it.

00:26:38.220 What if we're allowed to give?

00:26:39.600 If we're allowed to give him something?

00:26:40.420 I said I'd give him more tea.

00:26:41.600 I negged him.

00:26:43.100 Oh, that's true.

00:26:44.080 That is true.

00:26:45.900 I would give him underwear to wear.

00:26:46.660 I think he took smarter than we think he is.

00:26:47.940 We should all take a testosterone test and see. 0.58

00:26:51.520 It'd be fun.

00:26:52.380 I did take a test.

00:26:54.140 What was it again?

00:26:54.680 A test test.

00:26:55.480 But they only gave me my free testosterone, which I guess is, like, fine.

00:26:59.340 It was 69.6.

00:27:01.760 Yeah, I have no idea what that means.

00:27:03.380 Nice.

00:27:03.500 Picograms per deciliter. 0.99

00:27:05.980 I don't fucking know. 0.99

00:27:06.640 Picograms per deciliter. 0.98

00:27:07.680 Whatever the thing is for free testosterone, it was 69.6, which was right in the average.

00:27:13.760 No, no, no.

00:27:14.400 69 is, like, the top on purpose.

00:27:16.720 No, Cole's...

00:27:17.400 Yours must have been 696, because it usually ranges from, like, 300 to 900.

00:27:21.940 No, it's not testosterone.

00:27:24.300 It's free testosterone.

00:27:25.580 It's a different metric.

00:27:26.440 Yeah, it's useless to me.

00:27:27.780 You don't have to pay for it.

00:27:28.660 Hey, that's what...

00:27:29.740 Dude, I sent that to my...

00:27:31.500 I said, I'm in a lifting chat on Twitter, and they kept saying, they're like, how are you

00:27:35.980 getting free tests? 0.99

00:27:36.660 That's fucking... 1.00

00:27:37.140 You fucking can't pay for tests? 1.00

00:27:38.480 You fucking poor? 1.00

00:27:39.300 And I was like, no. 1.00

00:27:41.540 Oh, my God.

00:27:42.560 I would imagine...

00:27:43.320 Based on your physique, I think your testosterone levels are pretty elevated.

00:27:47.560 That's just my guess. 1.00

00:27:48.580 Makes me want to touch your butt and suck your dick. 1.00

00:27:50.680 Well, Cole works out, so that's going to elevate it, but then he's also married, which 1.00

00:27:54.540 will lower it to some extent, so I don't know.

00:27:56.500 Well, post-baby, it lowers...

00:27:59.920 Yeah.

00:28:00.260 Being married, having kids, like, lowers it, so...

00:28:02.460 Just domestic life in general lowers it. 0.99

00:28:04.460 That's why you've got to keep you in the gym in fucking randoms. 0.99

00:28:06.860 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:07.380 That's why I live like a fucking shag. 1.00

00:28:08.900 It's the only way to stay. 1.00

00:28:10.220 Sorry, babe. 0.65

00:28:11.060 If I want to get jacked, I have to cheat on you. 0.89

00:28:14.480 Ironically, kind of, yes.

00:28:15.820 It's more like a test.

00:28:17.640 I have to be...

00:28:18.240 Like, this isn't... 0.87

00:28:19.340 I can either take steroids or I can be a puss sound. 0.62

00:28:21.400 You choose. 0.78

00:28:21.960 I'm not judging.

00:28:23.660 Honey, have you ever heard of a guy with ED that stays faithful to... 0.99

00:28:27.080 That fucks other women? 1.00

00:28:28.240 It doesn't happen. 0.99

00:28:28.860 Okay?

00:28:29.200 Yeah.

00:28:29.880 Listen, baby... 0.99

00:28:31.080 Jose, the type of nigga to... 1.00

00:28:32.080 Jose, the type of nigga to cheat and then explain it scientifically to his wife. 1.00

00:28:38.000 Listen, if you don't want me to become a faggot, I must slay puss. 1.00

00:28:42.800 It's crazy you could say that sentence and come across so gay. 1.00

00:28:51.900 It's like the gayest sentence ever. 0.99

00:28:53.560 That was 28 seconds.

00:28:54.560 28 minutes.

00:28:55.940 Dude, I would just fight Sam Hyde just for the publicity.

00:29:00.040 That's all I really care about.

00:29:01.040 Oh my god.

00:29:01.800 But you won't fight Sam Hyde.

00:29:03.120 Sam Hyde is so much bigger than you.

00:29:04.760 He's like 6'4". 0.98

00:29:06.480 He's a monster, that dude. 0.85

00:29:09.000 He's really 6'4"? 0.92

00:29:09.940 He just wears a lot of baggy clothes, I feel like.

00:29:12.000 He's a big sized version of him.

00:29:14.120 Next question.

00:29:14.960 Yeah, no, he's a big dude.

00:29:16.720 All right, we got Mark Vestibule.

00:29:19.100 You can only save yourself and one other member of the gang from certain death.

00:29:22.960 Who do you save? 1.00

00:29:25.380 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:29:26.100 Myself and one more. 1.00

00:29:26.400 Way to just break up the whole fucking group. 1.00

00:29:28.680 Jesus. 1.00

00:29:29.400 Yeah, you fucking asshole. 1.00

00:29:30.020 So we can only pick one person. 1.00

00:29:31.840 I save Top because he's got two adorable children that I've met and I love them.

00:29:36.540 Yeah, yourself and somebody else.

00:29:38.100 Cole only has one kid and he's a ginger, so can you even save that? 1.00

00:29:41.680 And Jose has two kids, but you haven't met them and they might not be real.

00:29:44.320 Yeah.

00:29:45.000 Yeah, I've never met Jose's kids.

00:29:46.340 Plus they're grown.

00:29:47.340 Jose has two kids that are not adorable, so I'm not going to say that.

00:29:50.060 Honestly, Jose's kids are grown.

00:29:51.620 What did he do?

00:29:52.600 Yeah, they've already lived most of their life.

00:29:55.100 He's right.

00:29:55.880 Most of their life.

00:29:56.800 That matters.

00:29:57.260 That matters.

00:29:58.020 For a girl?

00:29:58.820 For a woman?

00:29:59.560 For a woman?

00:30:00.440 Cole is the youngest child, though.

00:30:02.180 I think it's going to be between Cole and Top.

00:30:05.020 So what I would do is I'm going to save Cole because his wife's going to take him out 0.93

00:30:08.760 anyway, so what's the point?

00:30:10.900 I think I'll save Top for the same reasons as Cole.

00:30:14.420 No, I'm going to save Toad and here's the reason why.

00:30:16.660 He doesn't have to be a single mother either way.

00:30:18.960 You're saving me?

00:30:20.320 Why?

00:30:20.560 Yes, I'm saving Toad because all of us else has experienced.

00:30:24.040 What a waste of a save.

00:30:25.640 No, no, no, no.

00:30:26.180 We have all experienced all that – we have experienced what life can give to all of us.

00:30:32.400 Just throwing away his saves.

00:30:33.860 No, I haven't.

00:30:34.880 I want to see my kids grow.

00:30:36.480 I want to meet my grandchildren.

00:30:38.480 He's never going to have any of those things.

00:30:41.980 That's the thing is he could.

00:30:43.340 He could have some of those things, and that's why I want to save him because I want him to

00:30:47.800 experience what I've experienced.

00:30:48.860 Even if he gets a kid, there's no way he'll get the grandkid.

00:30:50.280 There's no way.

00:30:52.020 Cole and I – yeah, like I've jumped off to him. 1.00

00:30:54.760 Imagine the fucking virgin Toad's son would pee. 1.00

00:31:00.540 Dude, my son is going to be a fucking poon hound. 1.00

00:31:02.880 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:31:03.760 Yeah, just like his dad.

00:31:05.940 I'm going to teach him. 0.84

00:31:08.680 You know what the clitoris looks like, and it's just a picture of the belly button? 1.00

00:31:13.700 It's somewhere. 0.96

00:31:14.400 By the way, can we all appreciate Toad's drip right now?

00:31:18.120 I mean, Jesus.

00:31:18.620 Oh, my God.

00:31:19.820 Milk sommelier, and then show it –

00:31:22.140 Milk truck, yeah.

00:31:23.580 Is that all it is?

00:31:24.560 This is just a milk truck?

00:31:25.480 Is that it?

00:31:26.000 Yeah, it's a milk truck.

00:31:27.920 Did you win that to work today?

00:31:30.520 Yes.

00:31:32.200 That looks like every dude at a Legion of Skanks event.

00:31:35.840 Every single one of them.

00:31:37.320 Yeah, this is from Flapper.

00:31:38.960 Flapper.net?

00:31:40.160 Is it .net or .com?

00:31:40.360 It looks like a dude – like every dude on Chatterbait. 1.00

00:31:42.900 It looks like the guy on Chatterbait that's sending, like, show your tits now or, like, put a finger in your pussy to, like, the camera. 1.00

00:31:53.220 I'm not even kidding. 1.00

00:31:54.020 I met a thousand dudes that look exactly like this wearing the exact same outfit at Skankfest.

00:31:59.500 Like, identical.

00:32:00.900 Flapper.net.

00:32:01.460 It's crazy.

00:32:02.160 I'm thinking about it now.

00:32:03.040 You're right.

00:32:03.500 They're the purveyors of milk merch.

00:32:06.020 What?

00:32:06.600 Did you get it from Flapper.com?

00:32:08.100 Yeah.

00:32:08.880 Flapper.net.

00:32:09.320 Like, why are you plugging that?

00:32:10.960 They ain't paying. 1.00

00:32:11.460 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:32:12.340 I'm trying to figure it out. 0.99

00:32:13.700 I'm looking through and I'm saying, do we have a banner for them or something?

00:32:17.740 Flapper.com. 0.98

00:32:18.460 You can get this shitty-ass merch. 0.98

00:32:21.080 Promo code. 0.99

00:32:21.620 You can get this merch that if you wear out in public, people will give you the weirdest looks.

00:32:25.760 Promo code MILKGANG.

00:32:27.100 You can look even sweeter when you shave your face with the doe razors while you wear their merch. 0.93

00:32:33.460 All right.

00:32:33.900 There you go. 0.99

00:32:34.260 Hell, yeah. 0.99

00:32:35.220 The doe shave. 0.99

00:32:36.600 You look like an angry quintess digital. 0.88

00:32:40.820 Yo, Lainey, stop being funnier than us. 1.00

00:32:42.700 Luke does have producer physiognomy.

00:32:46.080 Hold on.

00:32:47.400 I talked about this today.

00:32:48.720 It was me and Lainey.

00:32:49.720 Me and Lainey talked about this today, about how, like, all producers for comedic podcasts

00:32:55.600 all have the same look.

00:32:56.720 It's like a red band.

00:32:57.280 It's red band.

00:32:57.920 Frumpy.

00:32:58.180 Red band is...

00:32:59.040 You're looking frumpy.

00:33:00.460 And gray.

00:33:01.400 I saw bald dudes, like, over 240 pounds or whatever.

00:33:05.340 I mean, I don't know exactly what it said.

00:33:06.540 Like, fat, balding, single most likely. 0.83

00:33:09.980 Jewish dudes. 0.99

00:33:10.540 Never seen the sun. 0.95

00:33:12.220 Not necessarily white, but definitely not black. 0.93

00:33:15.240 Like, Jewish is great because you can kind of make fun of them for being Jewish. 0.99

00:33:18.600 They're usually Jewish, yeah.

00:33:19.840 They are usually Jewish.

00:33:21.680 Like, that's why I said Nadav is Jewish.

00:33:23.440 You know what's weird?

00:33:24.580 There's, like...

00:33:25.200 The people always say Jewish people are...

00:33:27.580 Yes. 0.99

00:33:28.020 But they say that Jews are, like, 1% of the population or some shit globally. 0.98

00:33:32.740 Like, how is it possible that there's so many podcast producers that are Jewish? 0.98

00:33:36.120 Despite being 1% of the population.

00:33:37.540 That's the gym.

00:33:39.280 Hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:33:39.960 If you want to go down that rabbit hole, Clint, there's a lot...

00:33:44.140 I have a lot of, like, literature that you can read, some podcasts you can listen to.

00:33:48.260 All I'm saying is that they're overrepresented in the podcast producer community.

00:33:52.340 Don't you notice that?

00:33:53.400 You're not in a pattern.

00:33:55.260 I'm just saying.

00:33:57.080 Like, you got Robbie the Fire of Ernst scene, and then you got Dave Smith, and you got, like...

00:34:00.660 There's just a lot of Jewish dudes.

00:34:02.240 I don't think Robbie's necessarily his producer.

00:34:04.000 Oh, is that what's going on with gas?

00:34:06.060 That he's getting Jewed? 0.99

00:34:06.900 Is that what's happening?

00:34:08.280 That makes sense.

00:34:09.060 I don't know.

00:34:09.700 I didn't really watch it, but apparently he was wanting...

00:34:11.580 I think he was wanting more money, basically.

00:34:13.780 But, well, no.

00:34:14.420 Hear me out, though.

00:34:15.620 If we're doing the whole, like, you know, the whole stereotypical Jew thing, like, you 0.91

00:34:19.400 think about...

00:34:20.000 They didn't bring in a Jew... 1.00

00:34:20.840 We're not doing it.

00:34:21.560 They're doing it.

00:34:22.240 Yeah, they're doing it.

00:34:23.360 He didn't bring up a Jew in with him when he created this establishment, you know, thing, 0.98

00:34:27.220 or whatever the fuck you want to call gas digital. 0.98

00:34:29.280 It was just him and Ralph. 0.99

00:34:30.160 I guess you could call Ralph, like, a big Jew giant. 1.00

00:34:32.740 But I don't think he is. 0.92

00:34:34.000 It was a Puerto Rican and some pasty white dude, and, you know, now the Jew comes up 1.00

00:34:38.880 and has to come and fuck it up. 1.00

00:34:40.420 That could be it. 0.97

00:34:41.320 Yeah, I think it's a plot.

00:34:41.940 I think we figured it out.

00:34:42.700 Did you guys hear Louis say that he used to be 325 pounds at 19 years old?

00:34:47.860 Yeah, I heard that was wild.

00:34:48.660 Yeah, that's wild.

00:34:49.280 I was like, no, you weren't. 1.00

00:34:49.960 What the fuck, dude? 1.00

00:34:50.580 Good, I was like 110 fat. 1.00

00:34:51.840 He said that in that episode?

00:34:53.640 He's like...

00:34:54.040 No, it was like last week's episode.

00:34:56.180 Puerto Rican fattlesnake. 0.99

00:34:57.400 Jesus Christ.

00:34:59.220 Yeah, dude.

00:34:59.840 That's a Louis joke.

00:35:01.180 Yeah. 0.99

00:35:01.500 How the fuck was Louis 10 times my size at that age? 0.99

00:35:05.880 What the hell? 1.00

00:35:06.020 Oh, shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:35:08.420 All right. 1.00

00:35:08.880 What question?

00:35:09.640 I'm not going to fix this from you.

00:35:11.100 What did we all settle on?

00:35:12.060 We're saving me and Todd, basically?

00:35:14.040 I'm saving Todd.

00:35:14.740 I'm not...

00:35:15.080 I'm sticking with that.

00:35:15.880 That is a target. 0.78

00:35:16.440 I was going to say, I save Cole because I know that to roast your dead bodies, he would

00:35:24.500 be the most one to do it with.

00:35:26.260 That's the only reason. 0.99

00:35:27.360 Cole would be a dead ape. 0.98

00:35:28.760 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:35:29.140 Dude, I don't give a damn. 0.98

00:35:29.720 At least a dead ape. 0.95

00:35:30.560 Yeah, because he's the only one that wouldn't be crying about whoever died.

00:35:33.480 I'd be laughing.

00:35:34.040 He couldn't.

00:35:34.980 He just couldn't cry about it.

00:35:36.840 He'd just be like, bury him inside his Corvette.

00:35:40.100 Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:35:40.760 Unless you had to put a World War II veteran quote on your casket or something, and then

00:35:48.200 I'd bawl like a baby.

00:35:49.440 Be like, you're the best men.

00:35:52.440 And I'd be like, you're the best men.

00:35:54.820 Jesus Christ.

00:35:55.660 But that's it.

00:35:56.000 That's the only way I would cry at your funerals.

00:35:57.280 I would encourage all of you not to save me.

00:35:59.300 I've already lived a great full life.

00:36:01.040 I'm very elderly.

00:36:01.880 Just let me go.

00:36:03.320 Also, we do get to choose how you die, I guess.

00:36:05.480 I know you weren't going to, but I'm just like...

00:36:07.040 Listen.

00:36:07.480 Before all of you don't pick me, I'd rather just say it.

00:36:10.760 I'm going to get out in front of this. 0.95

00:36:12.620 I want to die. 0.99

00:36:14.960 Cole is seriously retarded because he's saving me, and I'm the one who's probably going to 1.00

00:36:19.420 be dead within a week. 1.00

00:36:20.640 It's so seriously deranged. 0.97

00:36:21.360 Yes, and then all of y'all are gone, and this is a race from the internet.

00:36:23.980 I don't have to worry about anybody snitching on me.

00:36:26.340 It's crazy how deranged it is that all of us do know that Clint has the biggest following.

00:36:34.320 Maybe a lot of people have come here because of him and all this stuff.

00:36:36.700 He's probably the person who can offer us the most with this show as far as reach and

00:36:41.780 all this stuff, and none of us would consider saving him.

00:36:44.980 Not even in the...

00:36:45.940 It wasn't even a thought in my head.

00:36:47.340 I was like, no way, Clint.

00:36:48.500 Definitely not Joey.

00:36:49.600 You know what that is, though?

00:36:51.800 That shows love for your brothers because you're picking the ones with kids.

00:36:56.300 I don't know.

00:36:56.620 Still, for the life of me, I have no idea why Cole picked Toad because I want him to enjoy

00:37:03.500 life, to experience life.

00:37:05.160 But he's not going to do it.

00:37:06.380 I feel like I can't.

00:37:07.300 I feel like he still has time.

00:37:08.880 He doesn't want to enjoy life.

00:37:10.440 Stop trying to make him.

00:37:11.680 He doesn't want to.

00:37:12.240 I can fix him.

00:37:13.420 I can fix him.

00:37:15.360 He has no interest in enjoying life.

00:37:18.860 He's a girl with daddy issues.

00:37:20.520 I can fix him. 1.00

00:37:21.380 He's offered pussy constantly, and he's just like, I don't want it. 1.00

00:37:24.620 I don't want it. 1.00

00:37:25.880 He has been offered the right pussy. 1.00

00:37:27.060 I'll find him the right pussy. 1.00

00:37:28.280 There's no such thing as the right pussy. 1.00

00:37:29.640 I told you I'm a vol cell. 1.00

00:37:32.280 Yeah, you are.

00:37:33.500 Yeah.

00:37:34.420 It's insulting.

00:37:35.800 It's irritating.

00:37:35.980 Any more?

00:37:36.920 We got a third one?

00:37:37.820 We got a third one.

00:37:39.620 Yeah. 0.93

00:37:40.540 Clint needs a nut in a chick. 1.00

00:37:41.940 I'm pretty sure Clint has nutted in a chick, Stoney. 1.00

00:37:45.000 Once or twice. 0.95

00:37:46.100 No, I do, though.

00:37:47.900 Peabrain Parish. 1.00

00:37:49.500 If a dude shoves a fleshlight up his asshole and you fuck the fleshlight, is it gay? 1.00

00:37:55.620 That's a great question. 1.00

00:37:57.080 No.

00:37:57.260 No, it's not gay.

00:37:57.800 I mean, it's just because of the R. 0.91

00:37:58.980 Well, wait a minute.

00:37:59.580 Wait a minute.

00:38:00.160 Is the fleshlight... 1.00

00:38:01.200 Or I'm a faggot. 1.00

00:38:02.640 Okay? 1.00

00:38:03.080 Whatever.

00:38:05.380 That is a really good question. 1.00

00:38:07.500 It's the faggot. 1.00

00:38:08.040 That's a fantastic question. 1.00

00:38:09.180 I'll tell you one thing.

00:38:10.140 I'll tell you one thing I know for sure. 1.00

00:38:11.580 The dude you're doing it to, incredibly gay. 1.00

00:38:14.080 Like, that guy is really, really gay. 0.99

00:38:15.940 Wait a second. 1.00

00:38:16.600 He's gay. 0.99

00:38:17.060 No, no. 0.98

00:38:17.360 He's gay. 0.99

00:38:18.320 No.

00:38:19.660 I mean, I'm assuming we're just talking about flesh...

00:38:23.660 We're talking about the silicone insert, not the whole...

00:38:26.220 No, the whole thing, brother.

00:38:27.620 The whole flashlight.

00:38:29.680 The metal piece on the outside.

00:38:32.160 Yeah, but there's one question... 0.95

00:38:33.660 It's literally not gay, but it's very gay adjacent. 0.62

00:38:35.820 There's one question that has to be answered here. 0.99

00:38:37.780 Is the fleshlight still in the other guy's ass, or has it just been there in the past? 1.00

00:38:42.020 It's not gay. 1.00

00:38:42.860 It's faggy. 1.00

00:38:43.660 It's not gay, it's faggy. 1.00

00:38:45.420 Don't be gay, Toad. 1.00

00:38:46.740 It's in the ass still. 1.00

00:38:48.140 Better question. 1.00

00:38:48.980 Better question. 1.00

00:38:49.600 You flip it to where, like, you know, the pussy's coming out your butt-like side, and 1.00

00:38:54.500 you put the other piece in there. 1.00

00:38:55.660 Other dude bangs the fleshlight. 1.00

00:38:57.580 Not your butthole. 1.00

00:38:58.940 Is that gay? 1.00

00:39:00.560 I don't understand. 0.80

00:39:01.440 I don't understand what you're talking about.

00:39:02.400 No, no.

00:39:02.660 Fleshlight.

00:39:03.180 Okay. 0.94

00:39:03.580 Jose is saying he's gay. 0.99

00:39:04.520 Like, in between their legs? 1.00

00:39:05.900 No, no, no. 1.00

00:39:06.360 You shove the thing up your butt, but it's not him penetrating you. 0.99

00:39:09.980 It's the fleshlight, and then he bangs the fleshlight. 0.99

00:39:12.240 That was the entire question.

00:39:13.920 No, no, no, no.

00:39:15.280 I wasn't understanding the question. 1.00

00:39:16.820 I thought he was saying, like, fuck yourself with it, pull it out, and then jerk off with 1.00

00:39:20.060 it. 1.00

00:39:20.200 I was like, what?

00:39:21.040 That's not gay. 0.87

00:39:21.300 There's even a different question.

00:39:22.860 It's like, will you marry me?

00:39:24.360 It's like, here's the crazy thing.

00:39:26.000 What if instead we go to, like, a marriage, and, like, we propose to each other, and then, 0.96

00:39:30.200 like, we accept vows and shit, and then we live for the rest of our lives together? 0.88

00:39:33.940 What about that instead? 1.00

00:39:35.680 Would that be gay, though? 0.98

00:39:37.080 Yeah.

00:39:37.580 Cody, I think he gave us this question.

00:39:39.900 It's still in.

00:39:40.860 But what I thought Jose was saying, though, is what if a guy throws the fleshlight on 1.00

00:39:46.360 his dick, and then he fucks you with his dick with the fleshlight on it? 1.00

00:39:50.700 Oh. 1.00

00:39:52.200 No, that's still gay. 0.65

00:39:53.620 No, so what he's saying, though, is that... 0.65

00:39:56.060 No, wait, wait. 1.00

00:39:56.600 So the fleshlight is not fixed in your asshole. 1.00

00:39:58.880 It does make it worse. 1.00

00:39:58.900 It does make it worse.

00:40:01.220 It has to do with who's receiving.

00:40:02.980 Yeah, and who's moving?

00:40:04.300 Who's doing the thrusting here? 1.00

00:40:06.920 Sorry, top of it. 0.99

00:40:08.900 Who's doing the thrusting is not gay? 1.00

00:40:10.040 I guess by extension, you are doing thrusting. 0.99

00:40:12.800 Top has some legs, so let him talk to this. 1.00

00:40:15.280 You are creating the penetration, and it's coming from your penis. 1.00

00:40:19.200 I don't know. 1.00

00:40:19.780 This is a gray area.

00:40:22.580 I don't know.

00:40:22.860 Yeah, the fleshlight is a condom, exactly.

00:40:27.260 The fleshlight is a condom.

00:40:28.380 Of course, Josie understands. 0.79

00:40:30.780 A thick condom.

00:40:31.560 Jose doesn't get it.

00:40:33.600 To me, it doesn't make it because, like...

00:40:35.100 Oh, then by that logic, you wouldn't be having sex with a condom, so you have to draw a logical

00:40:39.240 line at some point.

00:40:39.340 No, I think there's a thickness.

00:40:40.620 If you cannot feel them, if you cannot feel them at all, then it's not a condom.

00:40:45.880 Right, the fleshlight is a...

00:40:46.800 That's what a condom feels like to me, though.

00:40:50.380 No, I don't know.

00:40:51.040 That's the worst, Dave.

00:40:52.900 Is that you're put on a condom?

00:40:54.500 It doesn't feel anything.

00:40:55.560 It feels like you're looking at a rubber ducky.

00:40:58.380 Yeah, the fleshlight is a buffer in this scenario.

00:41:01.100 Yeah, it's more like...

00:41:01.900 In any way that you look at this.

00:41:03.500 But the same thing, it was like, if I put a fleshlight in between my couch cushions, 0.99

00:41:07.460 I'm not fucking my couch. 0.99

00:41:08.900 I'm still fucking the fleshlight. 0.99

00:41:10.380 It's just the couch is a holder. 0.98

00:41:12.180 Right. 0.99

00:41:12.360 So the man's butthole is... 1.00

00:41:13.900 You are a real piece of shit if you do that, though. 1.00

00:41:18.820 It would be fair to call you a couch fucker. 1.00

00:41:20.880 At that point. 1.00

00:41:22.720 But like...

00:41:23.100 So like, it's the same logic.

00:41:25.520 If I... 0.99

00:41:25.780 Like, the man's butthole is just the holder for the fleshlight. 1.00

00:41:28.600 I'm not fucking his ass. 1.00

00:41:30.100 I'm still just fucking the fleshlight. 1.00

00:41:31.760 No, no, no, no, no, no. 0.98

00:41:32.560 It's just the holder.

00:41:33.580 No, I think Cole is right.

00:41:34.080 He's holding it there.

00:41:35.340 Yeah.

00:41:35.860 It'd be like, if your buddy...

00:41:36.780 Hey, homie. 0.82

00:41:37.360 Hey, homie. 0.82

00:41:37.780 Could you...

00:41:38.420 You hold this for me for a second? 0.99

00:41:41.020 That would be gay if you asked your homie to just hold... 1.00

00:41:44.220 Literally hold it. 1.00

00:41:45.300 Like, if I had to hold it while you fucked it... 1.00

00:41:48.480 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:41:49.420 Holding it is gay, but putting it in the dude's ass ain't? 1.00

00:41:53.600 If it's already in his ass is what I mean. 1.00

00:41:55.460 If it's already... 1.00

00:41:55.940 You just stroll into a room. 1.00

00:41:58.000 He has a fleshlight in his ass. 1.00

00:41:59.680 You're like, oh, my lucky day. 1.00

00:42:01.740 If you hold it stationary and he's fucking it's not gay, but if you're doing this, it might 1.00

00:42:09.180 be gay. 1.00

00:42:09.980 I'm glad I'm not gay. 1.00

00:42:10.660 After a while, he's not in your hands. 0.84

00:42:12.140 Oh, what are the chances?

00:42:13.740 What are the chances? 1.00

00:42:14.700 But Pablo got the fleshlight already in his asshole. 1.00

00:42:17.880 I'm going to just enjoy myself if I... 1.00

00:42:19.380 Don't mind if I do.

00:42:20.560 This is the sixth time this week.

00:42:22.300 What are you doing, brother?

00:42:23.940 You got to stop walking in on you like this.

00:42:26.580 What are the odds?

00:42:27.660 Well, bend over. 0.94

00:42:29.260 At least I'm not gay. 1.00

00:42:31.740 Now, would it matter what the shape of the fleshlight is? 0.99

00:42:35.460 Because you know they have like butthole fleshlights and vagina fleshlights? 1.00

00:42:38.340 If it's a butthole fleshlight in a guy's butthole and you fuck that, I feel like that's more 1.00

00:42:43.500 gay than if it was a vagina fleshlight. 1.00

00:42:45.300 What if it's the eye socket fleshlight? 1.00

00:42:48.880 What if you ordered from Amazon, you ordered the pussy one, but the butthole one came in 1.00

00:42:54.620 and you're like, fuck it, I'm not going to return it. 1.00

00:42:56.200 Would you use it? 1.00

00:42:57.400 And it was like a man's butthole. 1.00

00:42:58.700 It had like balls on it. 1.00

00:42:59.540 Oh, so it was like one of the gay porn stars got their butthole modeled. 1.00

00:43:04.680 It's a nice hairy fleshlight. 1.00

00:43:06.000 It has, it just has like, it's a butthole and some balls hanging from it. 1.00

00:43:11.460 Balls hanging from it. 0.99

00:43:12.460 I got to wait two more days. 0.79

00:43:13.840 Get the balls up out of the way. 1.00

00:43:15.540 Your choices are, wait two more days for the pussy one to show up and you're never going 1.00

00:43:21.100 to return this thing. 0.98

00:43:21.980 This should be like a, this could be like a weird, like, um, because there's, you know,

00:43:29.140 there's like couples now, I think there was an article about it, about how like this girl

00:43:32.040 is leaving her husband because she's gay now. 0.88

00:43:34.280 But I feel like this could be like a good go between where you make a, like a fleshlight 1.00

00:43:39.240 that has a dick and balls, like a dildo coming out the bottom of it. 1.00

00:43:42.360 So you could fuck the fleshlight and put the dildo in the girls and the girl's pussy. 1.00

00:43:47.160 And so you're both fucking, but she's still getting a dildo. 1.00

00:43:50.580 Like, lesbians use dildos anyway. 1.00

00:43:52.500 It's not your dick, but you could, you're fucking the fleshlight. 1.00

00:43:54.540 And your fucking butthole. 1.00

00:43:55.660 Yeah, you could probably make a butthole one. 1.00

00:43:57.520 If you're gay, yeah, that'd be great. 1.00

00:43:59.280 So you could still stay together as a husband and wife, but you're still getting, I'm still 1.00

00:44:03.560 getting gay, like, I'm getting a gay asshole. 1.00

00:44:05.620 It's from a gay porn. 1.00

00:44:06.880 No, or the other thing you would do is you'd get the butthole fleshlight and you'd put it 1.00

00:44:10.340 in her pussy and fuck that. 1.00

00:44:11.580 Wait, wait, wait, the asshole can be gay itself, Cole? 1.00

00:44:15.000 I'm not understanding. 1.00

00:44:16.220 Well, because it's attached, like he said, he was talking about how it's an asshole of 1.00

00:44:19.920 a gay porn, you know they model their bubbles. 1.00

00:44:22.020 Yeah, it'll have the same tightness. 1.00

00:44:23.500 Yeah, yeah, but like, it's still just silicone. 1.00

00:44:27.980 It has a dick and balls coming out from it. 1.00

00:44:30.220 Right, I understand. 1.00

00:44:30.780 I feel like that makes it gay. 1.00

00:44:32.320 If you're fucking... 1.00

00:44:33.340 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, 1.00

00:44:35.200 Cole says that if you put a...

00:44:36.920 What objective metric. 1.00

00:44:37.540 If you put a fleshlight, if you put a fleshlight in a dude's ass... 1.00

00:44:40.580 A vagina fleshlight, yes. 1.00

00:44:42.140 And you fuck it, it's not gay. 1.00

00:44:44.200 If you fuck a woman with an asshole prosthetic, then it's fucking gay? 1.00

00:44:50.760 What? 1.00

00:44:51.640 Yes.

00:44:51.960 Yes. 1.00

00:44:53.540 No bullernings of shit right now. 1.00

00:44:55.400 I'm not saying if you fuck a woman. 1.00

00:44:57.040 I'm just saying like if there was a butthole fleshlight that did have a cock and balls attached 1.00

00:45:02.760 to it and you fuck that. 1.00

00:45:03.620 That's gay. 1.00

00:45:03.880 That's gay. 1.00

00:45:04.680 That's not 100% gay. 0.89

00:45:05.380 Well, that isn't gay. 0.82

00:45:06.020 Terminal logic is incongruent, all right?

00:45:07.800 No, no, no. 0.66

00:45:08.500 It's not 100% gay. 1.00

00:45:09.380 You're fucking a... 1.00

00:45:10.520 Like you're fucking... 1.00

00:45:11.620 Guys, I just had like the worst revelation in my head. 0.99

00:45:15.660 Tony Merkel agreed to come on this show and I'm just like listening to this conversation.

00:45:19.400 I'm like, we can't have him on this show.

00:45:20.980 I wish I could...

00:45:25.160 I've had any problems lately with downloading videos from Instagram so I can't do Cole's

00:45:29.260 Clip Corner right now.

00:45:31.120 But there was a great...

00:45:32.380 I hit the slightest inconvenience and went, meh.

00:45:36.480 No, I've been trying to download this.

00:45:38.300 This is what...

00:45:38.960 I'm actually...

00:45:39.400 I'm very focused and determined to make this work.

00:45:43.340 But one of the funniest ones I saw this week...

00:45:45.900 I wish we could do it.

00:45:47.000 We can do it.

00:45:47.660 There's probably still some in there.

00:45:49.140 But one of the funniest ones I saw was a guy...

00:45:51.320 We have too much other stuff.

00:45:53.160 A guy brought a full... 1.00

00:45:54.920 Not a pocket pussy. 1.00

00:45:57.900 The one that's like a... 1.00

00:45:59.500 Like a body.

00:46:02.420 It's not the blow-up doll. 0.99

00:46:03.860 It's the one that's a silicone tits. 1.00

00:46:05.980 It has the tits. 1.00

00:46:07.100 It has the abs. 0.99

00:46:08.800 It has the feet coming out with their cutoffs and the legs cutoffs.

00:46:11.100 It's just like this, right?

00:46:12.220 Yeah.

00:46:12.540 He had to ride it onto a plane.

00:46:14.200 He says, I'm getting on the Mile High Club.

00:46:15.560 And he pulls it out of his carry-on on the plane and takes it to the bathroom with him.

00:46:20.740 And then he walks out of the bathroom and puts it back in his carry-on. 0.97

00:46:24.200 And it's fucking hilarious. 0.94

00:46:26.300 This dude's like... 0.97

00:46:27.480 He got stopped by TSA and he was like, I'm joining the Mile High Club.

00:46:30.840 And they were like, we can't technically stop you because it's not illegal to carry this. 0.99

00:46:36.940 And so he fucking did it. 0.98

00:46:38.620 That's how you find the loophole, man. 1.00

00:46:40.340 Just take that thing in the bathroom, man.

00:46:43.880 Take your real doll.

00:46:44.500 The Tantilly doll.

00:46:45.360 Yeah.

00:46:46.160 Tantilly.

00:46:46.780 I've watched it.

00:46:47.400 I'm learning now.

00:46:48.240 I think we've got to the bottom of this.

00:46:49.920 I don't have a clue what gay means.

00:46:51.700 Thank you for helping me, guys.

00:46:53.860 It really is.

00:46:55.320 Anything that happens with sex, it is a very weird...

00:46:58.680 There's no hard lines in sex.

00:47:00.840 See, I've always thought there were.

00:47:03.480 I think there is. 1.00

00:47:04.200 If there's a dude and you're putting your dick in his asshole, regardless of the condom or fleshlight therein, 1.00

00:47:09.180 it is irrelevant, you're a homosexual. 1.00

00:47:11.640 No, apparently. 1.00

00:47:13.180 I've been fucking my homies for years. 1.00

00:47:15.680 No, no. 1.00

00:47:16.080 And I didn't even do it.

00:47:17.140 Because at some point it's going like...

00:47:19.720 There's like the air between me and you right now, and if I jerk off, 1.00

00:47:24.560 the air is my condom to your butthole right now. 1.00

00:47:29.500 And I jerk off, so we're gay anyways. 1.00

00:47:31.840 Sleepy Clancy. 0.99

00:47:32.640 That's a beautiful quote.

00:47:34.000 Thank you, Not Ron.

00:47:35.460 Say that again, the air is to my...

00:47:37.220 Wait, what is it? 0.99

00:47:38.300 He's saying that he's fucking all of us literally right now, and we're all fucking each other, 0.97

00:47:43.260 so I think he cancels that quote. 1.00

00:47:43.580 Yeah, because you're taking it to, like, if it's anywhere near a butthole, we'll give you a condom on... 1.00

00:47:49.420 Bro, you're like fucking 500 miles away from me, 1.00

00:47:52.760 and you're going to say that's the same thing as putting a fleshlight in a dude's actual colon and fucking it? 0.99

00:47:59.500 That's the same thing to you. 1.00

00:48:01.120 But it's not gay. 0.73

00:48:02.880 Not gay. 1.00

00:48:03.980 It is gay. 1.00

00:48:04.760 No, you're not fucking ass. 1.00

00:48:06.260 You're fucking fleshlight. 1.00

00:48:07.460 It's just the fleshlight is being held by an ass. 1.00

00:48:09.640 That's the only difference. 1.00

00:48:10.900 A man's ass. 1.00

00:48:11.660 I agree with Cole. 1.00

00:48:12.040 I agree with Cole.

00:48:14.220 But I'm not...

00:48:15.880 I'm not...

00:48:16.380 The thing is, I'm not...

00:48:17.400 I stand with Cole.

00:48:19.380 I'm not...

00:48:19.960 You know how at the beginning of the show I said I thought I was probably the only one that's not racist?

00:48:23.840 Now I'm thinking I'm the only one that's straight. 0.99

00:48:25.720 You're all gay. 1.00

00:48:27.080 No. 1.00

00:48:27.440 You're all trying to fuck dudes. 1.00

00:48:30.060 No, no, no. 1.00

00:48:30.720 Because I'm not trying to fuck a dude. 1.00

00:48:32.180 No, no, no. 1.00

00:48:33.080 I'm not trying to fuck a fleshlight. 1.00

00:48:34.500 I'm trying to fuck a fleshlight. 1.00

00:48:35.760 You guys are like, we're not trying to fuck dudes. 1.00

00:48:37.360 We're just trying to rationalize it. 1.00

00:48:38.520 Clint, I'm not gay, and now I'm going to tell you how much I like our listeners' cocks. 0.99

00:48:44.320 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:48:44.760 That's the segment.

00:48:45.300 Go for it.

00:48:45.780 Actually, it's a good segment.

00:48:46.220 Go ahead.

00:48:47.160 Go ahead.

00:48:47.860 That's the only good segue you've ever done.

00:48:49.900 Go ahead.

00:48:50.280 Do we have any intro music for this?

00:48:51.840 By the way, this is a good question.

00:48:54.420 This is a good question, but I don't know if we can get to it. 0.88

00:48:57.480 How thin does a fleshlight get until it's gay? 1.00

00:49:00.240 I think the moment you feel the pressure from the asshole, like whenever you feel it actually 1.00

00:49:07.780 squeezing you, that's when it's gay. 1.00

00:49:10.520 Yeah, it's gay. 0.99

00:49:11.300 Because a fleshlight already has pressure on it. 1.00

00:49:14.660 But once you feel the butthole squeeze, if you feel any kegels or anything, you're a fag. 0.99

00:49:21.400 What happened to Moses then? 1.00

00:49:22.340 Now it's just a big, thick, like, condom. 1.00

00:49:25.160 I think it's gay when you have your dick inside of a fucking canister inside of a dude's ass, 1.00

00:49:30.660 and that dude ejaculates. 1.00

00:49:32.360 That makes you gay. 1.00

00:49:33.100 You know what it is? 1.00

00:49:34.040 I have nothing to do with that man ejaculating. 0.99

00:49:38.000 Do not put that on me, Clint. 1.00

00:49:39.640 Do not put that on me. 1.00

00:49:40.980 Once you feel the walls of the butthole, that's when it becomes gay. 1.00

00:49:44.660 This is why Clint thinks it's gay, because he's already assuming that he's going to feel 1.00

00:49:48.280 that he's going to be in that deep to feel the walls of the asshole, and we're assuming 1.00

00:49:52.200 that we won't. 0.99

00:49:52.940 Do you see the psychology here?

00:49:54.020 That's why we were taking an inch away from you before, to knock you down and make you 1.00

00:49:58.240 fucking gay shit without being gay shit. 1.00

00:49:58.660 So that I can do Pete raised the fleshlight, and he just enters ass, and the guy's like, 1.00

00:50:02.380 ooh, watch out there. 1.00

00:50:03.840 You guys are trying to make it so that I can do gay shit but not be gay. 1.00

00:50:06.860 That's love right there. 1.00

00:50:07.620 That's respect.

00:50:08.120 I appreciate that.

00:50:09.680 All right.

00:50:10.180 Go ahead.

00:50:10.560 Go ahead, Tony. 0.99

00:50:11.460 Review our viewers' dicks. 1.00

00:50:14.860 You fucking absolutely... 1.00

00:50:16.580 Is this gay? 1.00

00:50:17.340 I think this is gay. 1.00

00:50:18.500 I didn't think about this. 0.87

00:50:19.720 This is a great...

00:50:21.080 You would have to not touch the guy the entire time.

00:50:23.940 You couldn't grab him. 1.00

00:50:24.960 You're fucking a fleshlight in a man's asshole. 1.00

00:50:27.000 You're holding his hips. 1.00

00:50:28.920 Hey, if you don't hold his hips, you're going to pull that thing out of his ass. 1.00

00:50:33.700 Yeah, it's mad grippy. 1.00

00:50:34.520 That fleshlight, mad grippy. 1.00

00:50:37.100 Well, it would be a battle between the grippiness of the dude's asshole and the grippiness of 1.00

00:50:41.620 the fleshlight. 0.99

00:50:43.060 Yeah, so if the fleshlight is grippier and you pull that whole thing out, then it's really 1.00

00:50:47.080 not gay, because then you're just fucking a fleshlight. 1.00

00:50:48.960 So if the dude... 1.00

00:50:49.580 Wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:50:50.260 So if the dude's asshole is tighter, it's not gay if the dude's asshole is tighter than 1.00

00:50:56.240 the fleshlight. 1.00

00:50:56.860 You're out of your fucking mind, Toad. 1.00

00:51:00.380 You're out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:51:03.020 That's how it works. 1.00

00:51:04.480 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:51:06.300 I'm glad my dick's not big enough to even, like, fill out the fleshlight, so... 1.00

00:51:11.620 Okay. 1.00

00:51:12.620 I can't believe how gay all of you are. 1.00

00:51:14.280 Now review our audience's dicks. 1.00

00:51:16.780 Go ahead. 0.99

00:51:17.220 Yes. 0.98

00:51:17.480 Prove to me how not gay you are. 0.99

00:51:18.840 This is Toad's Weedy Roast, is what we're calling this. 1.00

00:51:21.920 I'm going to roast our audience's dicks. 0.99

00:51:25.380 We had a... 1.00

00:51:26.480 Give me one second.

00:51:26.960 We didn't have a great turnout for this, so people had to, you know, chip in a little 0.99

00:51:31.620 bit of money and send me their dick. 1.00

00:51:35.780 I don't know why Cole's leaving. 1.00

00:51:37.660 Oh, come on. 1.00

00:51:39.240 So, dick number one. 0.99

00:51:40.940 So, I don't know how we want to do this, but I can describe... 0.99

00:51:42.680 Hey, Todd, could you take me off the screen, too?

00:51:44.540 I'm just kidding.

00:51:45.480 I'm kidding.

00:51:46.040 I'm kidding.

00:51:46.320 I'm kidding.

00:51:46.560 I can just...

00:51:47.860 I kind of want all you guys to be here for this, though. 0.93

00:51:51.160 I can describe, like, the dick first, and then you guys can guess, like, which one of 0.99

00:51:55.580 our fans' dicks do you think it is, if you want us to do it that way. 0.99

00:52:00.320 Jose is back now, as well. 0.99

00:52:02.000 So, dick number one. 0.96

00:52:03.720 Are you guys coming back, or you want me to just describe it on my own here? 0.97

00:52:07.320 It's going to be less funny if I do that, because you guys need to be laughing at this.

00:52:10.600 I'm going to be throwing out some bangers, maybe. 0.72

00:52:13.080 Dick number one. 0.99

00:52:14.080 I received both of these dicks last week after the show. 1.00

00:52:18.460 I received two dicks, actually, almost at the same time. 0.99

00:52:21.760 Two dicks at the same time. 1.00

00:52:23.900 Dick number one. 1.00

00:52:25.760 And let me just say that in both of these instances, I feel a sense of pride. 1.00

00:52:32.140 Like, I feel like my dick is pretty photogenic compared to the audience's dicks that they sent 0.99

00:52:36.920 me. 1.00

00:52:37.080 It makes me feel pretty good about the looks of mine, of my dick. 1.00

00:52:40.820 I feel all right about this. 0.99

00:52:45.100 So now, in having to view these, the first dick that I was sent, I would have to say that 0.97

00:52:51.100 this member of our audience needs to show some pride. 0.99

00:52:56.900 He gave me this picture of his dick where, like, he just, like, didn't set it up at all. 0.99

00:53:02.880 He wasn't thinking about angle. 0.99

00:53:04.300 He wasn't thinking about anything like this. 0.99

00:53:05.840 He's just got this dick, and it's just, like, flopping sideways, basically. 0.99

00:53:10.340 So you can't even see, like, what the size of it is. 0.99

00:53:12.580 It just looks like this ugly, like, alien thing.

00:53:15.120 And it looks like somebody went, like, noodling for catfish, and they grabbed the catfish,

00:53:20.840 and it's, like, wriggling out of their hands. 1.00

00:53:23.080 And that's what this guy's dick looks like. 0.99

00:53:25.280 And it's just kind of flopped over. 0.99

00:53:26.600 It's got some, like, decent girth to it, I will say.

00:53:29.440 Length, I'm not really so sure. 1.00

00:53:31.120 It's definitely an ugly dick. 1.00

00:53:33.200 It's not a very good-looking dick. 1.00

00:53:34.460 And, like I said, the angle is just shit. 0.99

00:53:37.320 So it's a really, yeah, it's just a floppy mess, essentially. 0.99

00:53:42.240 So that's dick number one. 0.99

00:53:43.520 You guys want to guess whose dick that is. 1.00

00:53:45.380 The one that looks like a catfish flopping out of the dude's hand. 1.00

00:53:50.620 Hello, Clint.

00:53:52.620 Mine?

00:53:53.580 Yeah.

00:53:54.540 All these are just yours at different times.

00:53:58.820 It was funnier for all of us to leave and just him talk to an empty chair.

00:54:03.240 That's, like, we laughed. 1.00

00:54:05.740 Hey, can you guys show me his dick? 1.00

00:54:07.540 I want to see our guest's dick. 1.00

00:54:10.000 I wish we could. 1.00

00:54:10.780 Oh, that's actually, yeah.

00:54:11.780 We can't show it on the show.

00:54:12.900 Put it in the, put it in the, why not?

00:54:14.420 Put it on Twitter.

00:54:16.040 Not on the show.

00:54:17.440 Tweet it.

00:54:18.440 All right, all right.

00:54:19.380 I'll drop it.

00:54:20.280 Hang on. 0.98

00:54:20.680 I'll drop it in, so this is going to be dick number one. 0.99

00:54:23.220 If I can even fucking find it. 0.99

00:54:24.580 What is he in the game here? 0.98

00:54:25.720 We're trying to see which one's the nicest one. 0.98

00:54:26.920 No, he's just explaining the dicks, 0.98

00:54:28.440 and then we want to see them to confirm nor to die 0.99

00:54:31.200 if his assessment was correct. 1.00

00:54:33.800 That it was a nice dick? 0.99

00:54:34.780 What was your guess? 1.00

00:54:35.140 We're going to look at the dick. 0.99

00:54:36.500 He said it looks like a fish, 0.99

00:54:38.660 like a dead fish that was kind of, like,

00:54:40.580 hanging over his hand. 0.99

00:54:41.860 We have to look at the dick and then decide 1.00

00:54:43.780 if we would, like, if it's capable of being gay. 1.00

00:54:46.860 So, well, I described... 1.00

00:54:47.700 I think we should evaluate these dicks 1.00

00:54:49.480 and choose at least one tonight 0.99

00:54:51.260 that later we...

00:54:52.800 Well, we only have two, so...

00:54:54.320 Oh, we only have two.

00:54:55.040 Then we choose one out of two, 0.99

00:54:56.140 which is the nicest dick, 0.99

00:54:57.160 and we'll, over time, keep that one in mind, 0.99

00:54:58.940 and we'll get competitive.

00:54:59.900 Oh, yeah, this is like a...

00:55:01.540 I'm dropping it in the Tower Gang chat right now.

00:55:04.180 Like a round robin.

00:55:05.420 Like a round robin type of thing.

00:55:06.960 Right now, there is a 50% chance

00:55:09.340 that one of these gentlemen is going to be 0.96

00:55:11.400 the Tower Gang dick of the week. 0.98

00:55:13.840 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:55:14.880 What the fuck? 1.00

00:55:15.700 Did I describe it well to you? 1.00

00:55:17.680 No.

00:55:18.660 I mean, I guess...

00:55:19.740 It's like a Lovecraftian horror.

00:55:21.080 No, it looks...

00:55:21.860 It looks like a...

00:55:22.820 Like a...

00:55:23.940 Like a left turn signal.

00:55:25.340 Like a...

00:55:26.120 Like a...

00:55:27.060 Like a...

00:55:27.600 Like you're going up

00:55:28.700 and it's painted on the road.

00:55:29.820 You know how, like, when it says,

00:55:30.680 like, left only on the road?

00:55:32.380 That's what it looks like.

00:55:32.960 The left arrow.

00:55:33.480 Why is it so red?

00:55:34.620 Like, on the side?

00:55:35.420 Like, it's like...

00:55:35.880 Well, that's...

00:55:36.280 Oh, that's the other thing I didn't mention.

00:55:37.400 It looks like this was taken 0.99

00:55:38.320 with, like, a fucking Polaroid camera 1.00

00:55:40.140 like in the 90s or some shit. 0.99

00:55:41.980 It looks like the Circumstation Doctor 1.00

00:55:43.320 went way too far with that shit. 0.99

00:55:44.680 I don't know what the quality is. 1.00

00:55:45.940 Yeah, it's incredible how...

00:55:47.300 Circumstation's not great.

00:55:48.100 ...how hard it is,

00:55:49.340 but, like, broken...

00:55:51.560 But he still has a lot of extra skin there.

00:55:53.580 It's like half a chub

00:55:55.500 and it's folded over.

00:55:56.320 No, that's what's so weird about it.

00:55:58.180 Like, you can tell

00:55:59.040 that he is forcing it to be upright.

00:56:01.260 Like, that thing wants to just

00:56:02.520 drive to the left. 1.00

00:56:04.120 His dick is dead, basically. 1.00

00:56:05.320 It's dying. 1.00

00:56:06.200 Like...

00:56:06.320 You can actually see it a little bit

00:56:12.800 if you stop and move.

00:56:13.700 No, no, don't get us a nuke.

00:56:14.820 Don't get us a nuke.

00:56:15.580 I'm not getting a nuke.

00:56:16.300 There's no way

00:56:17.040 the sensors would get that.

00:56:18.560 All right, all right. 1.00

00:56:19.020 Whose dick do you think that is? 1.00

00:56:20.300 There's no way 1.00

00:56:20.600 they'd make out a perfectly good dick. 1.00

00:56:22.580 That's JC's dick. 1.00

00:56:24.280 I was thinking the same. 1.00

00:56:24.680 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:56:25.180 Hi, JC's dick. 1.00

00:56:26.280 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:56:28.460 Are you really gonna dick docks on here? 0.99

00:56:30.860 Yeah, no, you can't dick docks. 1.00

00:56:32.300 All right, all right. 0.81

00:56:32.680 I won't... 1.00

00:56:33.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 0.99

00:56:34.160 You can put it in the chat. 1.00

00:56:35.240 You can tell us.

00:56:36.680 You can tell us who it is.

00:56:37.640 But then how am I gonna award the winner?

00:56:40.300 Well, we'll have to do is...

00:56:42.600 They'll know.

00:56:43.240 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:56:45.420 If they watch the show,

00:56:46.380 they'll know who it is.

00:56:47.300 They'll know who they are.

00:56:48.240 And then at the end,

00:56:49.360 at the end of, like,

00:56:50.080 we'll give them, like... 0.54

00:56:51.120 Yeah, don't dick docks. 1.00

00:56:51.720 Oh, all right. 0.96

00:56:52.280 Well, the Raven sent one, apparently.

00:56:55.340 It's like, hey, guys, look... 0.99

00:56:57.020 And now moving on to dick number two. 0.99

00:56:58.960 But no, no, no, for real, though. 0.99

00:57:00.080 No, listen.

00:57:00.480 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:57:02.120 This...

00:57:02.680 This... 0.53

00:57:03.400 This is gay? 1.00

00:57:05.600 But fucking a man 1.00

00:57:06.480 with a fucking fleshlight in his ass 1.00

00:57:08.020 isn't gay? 1.00

00:57:09.200 Yeah.

00:57:09.720 What are you talking about?

00:57:11.340 You have no... 0.99

00:57:11.940 Other dicks are not involved. 0.99

00:57:13.140 Real quick, though. 0.98

00:57:14.060 The competition... 1.00

00:57:15.300 Shut up. 1.00

00:57:16.060 The competition is nicest dick. 1.00

00:57:18.680 There's no way 0.98

00:57:19.400 if we somehow get to the end of this 1.00

00:57:20.740 and we find the beautiful dick, 0.99

00:57:22.120 that person will not be willing 1.00

00:57:23.640 to dick docks and come on 0.87

00:57:25.040 and we can interview them 1.00

00:57:25.940 about their nice dick. 1.00

00:57:26.800 Hey, hey, hey. 1.00

00:57:27.380 This dick, if it wins, 1.00

00:57:29.480 the next dick is a disaster 1.00

00:57:30.960 of the highest order. 1.00

00:57:31.980 Yeah.

00:57:32.180 Send it, George.

00:57:33.740 No, because what we'll do...

00:57:35.420 Here's the thing

00:57:36.080 what we're going to do is...

00:57:37.100 DM Toad right now.

00:57:38.720 And the winner gets it.

00:57:39.540 We can't show you.

00:57:40.240 Winner makes art of it.

00:57:42.020 No, no, no, no.

00:57:42.460 Hold on, hold on.

00:57:43.500 Hold on.

00:57:43.980 That's a good idea, too.

00:57:45.360 That's a good idea, too.

00:57:46.140 But I want to...

00:57:47.060 It'll go on the next show.

00:57:48.400 No, no, hold on.

00:57:49.080 I want to say...

00:57:50.100 This is the easiest way

00:57:51.220 to get through this.

00:57:51.640 Guys, guys.

00:57:52.220 Every week...

00:57:52.860 Every week, we're going to do...

00:57:54.800 Toad's going to review them

00:57:55.620 and he chooses a winner.

00:57:56.960 That one has to go up

00:57:58.000 against last week's winner.

00:57:58.840 At the end of...

00:58:00.160 We'll choose whatever time frame.

00:58:02.000 Toad...

00:58:02.320 Like, whoever wins,

00:58:03.080 Toad can go to them

00:58:03.740 and say,

00:58:04.080 Are you okay with us

00:58:05.140 saying who you are 0.99

00:58:06.220 to dick-docs you? 0.99

00:58:07.480 And Top Lobster 1.00

00:58:08.320 will draw your dick 1.00

00:58:09.460 and put it out 1.00

00:58:10.580 and we can show it. 1.00

00:58:11.160 We're not going to show your dick. 1.00

00:58:11.940 We can show a drawing 1.00

00:58:12.580 of your dick. 1.00

00:58:12.940 And we send it to him 1.00

00:58:14.160 so that he can hang it.

00:58:16.020 And then he...

00:58:16.840 I think that's the best...

00:58:17.660 And this is...

00:58:18.700 Yeah.

00:58:19.120 Yo, 100%.

00:58:21.900 I'll do it.

00:58:22.980 And I think this is

00:58:23.400 the best way to do it.

00:58:24.300 And that way...

00:58:24.820 That way, they will know...

00:58:26.040 You've got to subscribe.

00:58:26.600 You have to...

00:58:28.100 Look, he does have to...

00:58:29.780 You have to describe it

00:58:30.640 perfectly, though.

00:58:31.380 You have to be really good

00:58:32.200 at describing these

00:58:32.900 so the audience can understand

00:58:34.400 what we're looking at.

00:58:35.900 They need to get

00:58:36.420 as much of, like...

00:58:37.280 All right, all right.

00:58:37.660 We have talked

00:58:38.540 for five minutes. 0.99

00:58:39.460 Let Toad fucking describe 0.99

00:58:40.380 this thing. 0.99

00:58:41.000 Yes, second dish.

00:58:42.160 All right, can we...

00:58:42.760 Well, I want to say

00:58:44.280 I want my palate

00:58:45.520 to be cleansed a little bit 0.99

00:58:46.620 with some titties. 0.99

00:58:47.660 So please send me some of those. 0.97

00:58:49.440 No, don't.

00:58:50.660 Even the women out there, 0.58

00:58:52.400 send your significant others 1.00

00:58:53.340 cock to Toad, please. 1.00

00:58:54.440 Nah, nah. 1.00

00:58:55.140 I might send my dick to Toad. 1.00

00:58:56.320 Toad, I've seen my dick. 1.00

00:58:57.380 I've already seen your dick 1.00

00:58:58.420 in person as well. 1.00

00:58:58.720 Yeah, I'll send my dick. 1.00

00:58:59.940 Because Toad, 1.00

00:59:00.560 have you already seen my dick? 1.00

00:59:01.240 At least your dick's straight, Cole. 1.00

00:59:03.880 Jesus Christ, 1.00

00:59:04.640 what is this thing? 1.00

00:59:05.340 Okay, we have one more dick. 1.00

00:59:08.020 And in this case... 1.00

00:59:09.440 So, first of all, 0.99

00:59:10.320 that dick number one, 0.99

00:59:11.440 by the way, 0.99

00:59:12.220 clearly is hideous

00:59:14.040 and is...

00:59:14.880 Not a winner.

00:59:15.220 Yeah, it's very...

00:59:16.080 Not a winner.

00:59:17.160 It's...

00:59:17.720 By the way,

00:59:18.520 it's impressive.

00:59:20.660 I would say...

00:59:21.140 I'll tell you,

00:59:21.540 if there's a G spot to the left, 1.00

00:59:23.060 this woman's going to fucking 1.00

00:59:24.120 love this guy. 1.00

00:59:25.120 Oh, she's... 1.00

00:59:25.240 I would just say... 1.00

00:59:27.420 He gotta fuck her sideways like this. 1.00

00:59:29.080 Yeah, I was gonna say, 1.00

00:59:29.740 if he was like...

00:59:30.700 If he did like...

00:59:31.580 If he was on top...

00:59:32.380 If she's laying down like this

00:59:33.520 and he's on top of her like this

00:59:34.540 and he's going this way,

00:59:35.960 he's sitting that G spot

00:59:36.720 all day, every day.

00:59:37.700 I don't know if you guys...

00:59:38.180 I'm gonna be honest,

00:59:38.800 I don't think this is our... 0.99

00:59:39.760 I don't think this is our viewer's cock. 1.00

00:59:41.400 I think he's fucking... 1.00

00:59:42.380 I think he just... 0.99

00:59:42.820 No, yeah, 0.99

00:59:43.460 I think he found a cock online. 1.00

00:59:45.140 We will need proof of cock. 1.00

00:59:47.460 We will need proof of cock. 0.99

00:59:48.180 You have to send your date. 0.99

00:59:50.160 Last Monday...

00:59:51.320 With the paper of today's date.

00:59:53.140 Last Monday, 0.99

00:59:53.900 we had on all these fucking... 1.00

00:59:55.540 All these fans. 0.99

00:59:56.640 Like, 1.00

00:59:56.860 they could have fucked up cocks 1.00

00:59:57.900 like this for sure. 1.00

00:59:58.920 I feel like...

00:59:59.480 I feel like

00:59:59.900 Conspiracy Extremist 1.00

01:00:01.160 has a fucked up dick 1.00

01:00:02.460 from all that... 1.00

01:00:03.140 meth.

01:00:04.960 Dude, 0.74

01:00:05.240 I got circumcised at three 0.99

01:00:06.860 and I jerked off 32 times 0.99

01:00:08.420 in one day 1.00

01:00:08.880 and my dick looks way better 1.00

01:00:10.740 than this dick. 1.00

01:00:11.420 Maybe you just haven't had 1.00

01:00:13.340 this special of a dick. 1.00

01:00:15.680 Maybe you need a better dick. 1.00

01:00:17.280 For contestant... 1.00

01:00:18.120 Yeah, fucking this guy... 1.00

01:00:18.840 Fucking this guy's like 1.00

01:00:19.860 getting fish hooked, 1.00

01:00:20.520 like...

01:00:21.460 Contestant number one,

01:00:24.140 I would say... 1.00

01:00:24.880 When you send these dick pics, 1.00

01:00:26.040 have some pride, man. 1.00

01:00:28.140 The angler cock, yeah. 0.99

01:00:29.320 Have some pride, man. 0.99

01:00:30.380 Have some peen... 1.00

01:00:31.060 Next penis. 1.00

01:00:31.680 Have some peen pride. 1.00

01:00:33.340 Yeah.

01:00:33.580 Peen pride.

01:00:34.300 Number two... 1.00

01:00:34.860 Next penis. 1.00

01:00:35.700 Describe it, 1.00

01:00:36.340 then send it to us

01:00:36.920 or send it to us now

01:00:37.740 and then describe it.

01:00:38.420 Keeps on tagging,

01:00:39.120 tagging, tagging, tagging.

01:00:40.460 Do what we told you.

01:00:41.420 You told... 0.96

01:00:42.280 Dick number two. 0.96

01:00:43.160 I'm doing it. 0.93

01:00:43.700 I'm doing it. 0.99

01:00:44.160 So dick number two, 1.00

01:00:44.880 this is a more normal dick pic. 1.00

01:00:47.340 This was... 0.99

01:00:48.080 He sent me a picture

01:00:49.840 just standing straight up, 1.00

01:00:52.020 soft dick. 1.00

01:00:53.020 I would say lengthwise, 1.00

01:00:54.740 pretty good.

01:00:55.920 Like, definitely, 0.99

01:00:56.620 it extends way past the balls. 0.98

01:00:57.980 Send it in the chat, 0.96

01:00:59.120 so we can see it.

01:01:00.380 Soft, yeah. 1.00

01:01:01.320 A soft, good-looking dick. 1.00

01:01:02.620 I'm describing it first, 1.00

01:01:03.980 then you're going to tell me

01:01:04.860 how good it is.

01:01:05.220 You're just in it

01:01:05.720 kind of in between,

01:01:06.700 so we can kind of get it. 0.99

01:01:07.660 This guy probably has small balls. 0.99

01:01:09.720 I don't even... 1.00

01:01:10.720 I have enormous balls. 0.98

01:01:11.920 Well, he has one ball. 0.99

01:01:14.940 Oh, awesome.

01:01:16.580 It's crazy.

01:01:17.140 It's wild.

01:01:17.500 That's kind of cool.

01:01:18.220 Wait, wait.

01:01:18.760 We had someone... 1.00

01:01:19.860 I think I know the dick. 0.99

01:01:20.360 Yeah, we had someone pop in 1.00

01:01:21.580 that said they had one ball.

01:01:22.580 He has one ball,

01:01:23.800 and he is not circumcised.

01:01:25.180 Do I want to see this?

01:01:26.920 I'm ready to see this. 1.00

01:01:27.780 I'm ready to see this dick. 1.00

01:01:28.740 Not circumcised. 1.00

01:01:29.980 I want to see this dick. 1.00

01:01:30.920 One ball... 1.00

01:01:31.640 Cole is so gay. 1.00

01:01:33.380 I want to fuck his ass 1.00

01:01:34.600 with a fleshlight. 1.00

01:01:36.020 I'm ready to see this dick. 1.00

01:01:37.300 It's not gay. 1.00

01:01:38.200 Well, you're going to probably

01:01:39.440 know who it is

01:01:40.240 because the picture of it

01:01:41.180 is almost like a dox.

01:01:43.500 I think I already know

01:01:44.340 it is. 0.99

01:01:44.480 It's almost proof of cock. 0.99

01:01:46.680 Proof of cock. 1.00

01:01:47.640 So, yeah. 0.99

01:01:49.260 Lengthwise is good.

01:01:50.480 However, I would say...

01:01:51.240 I don't think I want to see this.

01:01:52.700 I don't want to see it.

01:01:53.120 I want to see it. 1.00

01:01:53.920 The one thing this dick has 1.00

01:01:55.500 that's not as good 1.00

01:01:56.500 as the other dick 1.00

01:01:57.740 is that it's lacking 0.99

01:01:59.220 in girth a bit,

01:02:00.280 I would say.

01:02:03.340 It's lacking in girth.

01:02:08.360 We're looking at 0.98

01:02:09.340 somewhat pencil dick situation here. 0.97

01:02:12.380 But long. 0.98

01:02:13.000 But long.

01:02:13.340 You said... 1.00

01:02:14.000 Show us the dick. 1.00

01:02:15.700 Give us the cum. 1.00

01:02:16.500 We want the cum. 1.00

01:02:18.300 Toad, you need to get 0.99

01:02:19.120 better at describing this.

01:02:19.940 We need to know colors.

01:02:21.340 Like, did he have a bush?

01:02:24.860 Did he have, like...

01:02:25.680 Yeah, like...

01:02:26.840 He's like, this looks delicious.

01:02:28.560 It's like, that's not

01:02:29.060 what we're asking.

01:02:30.240 It's either full bush

01:02:31.680 or it's, like, somewhat trend.

01:02:33.020 I don't know.

01:02:33.260 Okay.

01:02:33.520 And then the colors,

01:02:34.580 does it change?

01:02:35.240 Does it have the purple head?

01:02:36.860 Does it have, like,

01:02:37.460 the fully white?

01:02:38.900 Is it kind of, like,

01:02:39.460 that weird, like, brown?

01:02:40.540 On a range from

01:02:40.720 to scrumdilyumptious?

01:02:42.560 Whereas, yeah.

01:02:44.260 Oh, yeah.

01:02:44.860 It was just a range

01:02:45.620 from to scrumdilyumptious.

01:02:48.200 I don't remember.

01:02:48.640 No, it needs to be like

01:02:49.440 to scrumdilyumptious.

01:02:50.980 Yeah.

01:02:52.340 Are you going to send it

01:02:53.900 or not, dude?

01:02:54.420 This one is somewhere

01:02:54.920 in between. 1.00

01:02:55.460 And this also has pussy 1.00

01:02:56.760 in the picture, 1.00

01:02:57.480 I will tell you.

01:02:58.180 Oh.

01:02:59.200 What? 1.00

01:03:00.180 So it's a flaccid dick 1.00

01:03:01.580 and pussy? 1.00

01:03:04.920 Hey, that's a solid dick. 1.00

01:03:07.380 Whoa! 1.00

01:03:08.940 Jesus! 1.00

01:03:09.680 Oh, I know that dick. 1.00

01:03:11.100 I know that dick. 1.00

01:03:13.040 Okay, Toad. 1.00

01:03:13.860 It wasn't who I was thinking.

01:03:14.340 You way undervalued 0.99

01:03:15.920 the size of this cock. 1.00

01:03:18.020 Like, this is, like... 1.00

01:03:19.280 When I heard, like,

01:03:20.280 yo, this is post-beat.

01:03:21.420 That ain't just chilling like that.

01:03:23.240 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:23.760 It could be.

01:03:25.360 Look, I feel like

01:03:26.180 I could do a better job

01:03:27.000 at, like, describing this

01:03:27.860 than Toad did.

01:03:28.500 I love...

01:03:29.260 I uncircumcised this.

01:03:30.720 There's a little extra length there.

01:03:31.920 I love that he knew

01:03:33.480 that this was probably

01:03:34.420 going to go further

01:03:35.180 and so he started

01:03:36.200 with just, like,

01:03:36.760 a tease of soft hanging

01:03:38.620 because he's like, 0.50

01:03:39.120 next time you'll get erect.

01:03:40.920 But here's the thing.

01:03:41.900 I feel like this guy's

01:03:42.760 a shower, not a grower.

01:03:44.100 I feel like this thing

01:03:44.800 is just, like,

01:03:45.280 all it's going to do

01:03:46.000 is just go, like,

01:03:48.220 boop, 0.99

01:03:48.520 and it's the same thing.

01:03:49.420 I think this shower grower 1.00

01:03:50.900 thinks you're small dick cope 1.00

01:03:52.120 is all it is. 0.99

01:03:52.560 I do.

01:03:53.060 I know who that is

01:03:53.800 by the facial hair.

01:03:54.200 I know who it is.

01:03:55.440 That's true.

01:03:56.180 That's true. 0.99

01:03:56.700 God damn it. 0.99

01:03:57.920 That's funny. 0.99

01:03:58.860 Yeah.

01:03:59.020 You should have

01:04:00.480 cropped that a little

01:04:00.980 lower, brother.

01:04:02.220 But honestly,

01:04:03.560 honestly,

01:04:03.900 when you said 0.99

01:04:05.320 below the balls, 0.99

01:04:06.360 I was expecting, like, 0.99

01:04:07.320 just, like,

01:04:07.740 the tip, like, 0.99

01:04:08.640 right below the balls. 0.99

01:04:09.700 This is a good, like, 0.99

01:04:11.360 inch and a half 0.99

01:04:12.100 below the balls. 0.99

01:04:12.760 Solid hang below. 0.98

01:04:13.720 Yeah, it is.

01:04:14.280 This gentleman does have,

01:04:16.020 I mean,

01:04:16.780 granted, 1.00

01:04:17.180 he only has one testicle, 1.00

01:04:18.180 but also very small testicle. 1.00

01:04:20.160 Are you sure 1.00

01:04:20.620 he only has one testicle? 1.00

01:04:21.860 Or did he say that? 1.00

01:04:23.020 Yeah.

01:04:23.660 Oh, okay, okay.

01:04:24.400 I think it makes 1.00

01:04:25.040 the dick look nicer 1.00

01:04:25.700 by comparison, though. 0.99

01:04:26.780 For sure.

01:04:27.640 And that's what

01:04:28.220 we're waiting on.

01:04:29.020 No, the man is standing.

01:04:32.480 He's standing up.

01:04:34.480 Clearly, this guy

01:04:35.320 is the winner of tonight,

01:04:36.380 though.

01:04:36.680 Yeah, he definitely is.

01:04:37.440 Yes, that is a nice thing.

01:04:38.280 I think that's going

01:04:38.880 to be a hard one.

01:04:39.340 If we're doing a round

01:04:40.020 Robin style where you

01:04:40.800 have to beat the winner,

01:04:42.160 that's going to be

01:04:42.600 a hard one to beat.

01:04:43.400 Every week.

01:04:43.860 It's probably very easy

01:04:44.900 to beat, but it's a hard

01:04:45.720 one to beat.

01:04:46.140 That is definitional

01:04:47.260 scrumdiddlyumptious.

01:04:48.940 Yes.

01:04:49.660 Oh, this is what we do,

01:04:51.000 and then we keep getting,

01:04:51.940 and whenever there gets

01:04:52.880 to be a time

01:04:53.500 where someone beats him,

01:04:54.800 we give him a second chance

01:04:57.360 to submit another photo

01:04:58.900 to knock out

01:04:59.620 the other guy.

01:05:00.640 Or at some point,

01:05:02.080 at some point,

01:05:02.920 we have to give it

01:05:03.460 to the audience.

01:05:04.820 And that's where Tom...

01:05:05.360 I love Tom saying that.

01:05:06.860 So, say it again.

01:05:07.880 Say it again. 1.00

01:05:09.180 That cock is scrumdiddlyumptious. 0.99

01:05:13.380 And the thing is, 0.99

01:05:14.480 this one is... 1.00

01:05:16.160 This show is so stupid. 1.00

01:05:20.580 I love it so much. 1.00

01:05:22.540 We just had a fucking listener 1.00

01:05:24.740 send in their dick, 1.00

01:05:25.820 and then we said 1.00

01:05:26.380 it was scrumdiddlyumptious.

01:05:28.300 This show is the greatest 0.99

01:05:29.160 fucking thing on the planet. 1.00

01:05:30.480 People don't understand 1.00

01:05:31.280 how good this shit is. 1.00

01:05:32.980 I want to describe this. 1.00

01:05:34.660 This dude is like,

01:05:35.600 he's fit.

01:05:36.180 He looks good.

01:05:36.680 He's not a fat guy.

01:05:37.440 And it's like hairy,

01:05:38.800 but like in a hot way.

01:05:40.080 Not like an over...

01:05:41.160 It looks...

01:05:42.660 You're kind of exotic,

01:05:45.840 but like masculine

01:05:46.680 in a different kind of way.

01:05:48.100 He has good legs.

01:05:49.420 It looks like he works out.

01:05:50.320 He has nice large thighs,

01:05:51.940 but they're like...

01:05:52.880 Right, I should have mentioned that.

01:05:53.920 Yeah, because you got

01:05:54.600 most of his body in this pic.

01:05:56.100 He's in good shape.

01:05:58.140 What I really like

01:05:59.160 is that he's pushing

01:06:00.340 his hips forward.

01:06:01.480 He's like, yo...

01:06:02.040 Oh, yes.

01:06:02.780 And he's giving me

01:06:03.380 a thumbs up as well.

01:06:04.380 He's like, you like that?

01:06:05.300 And you can probably find out...

01:06:07.700 He's saying it to me, too.

01:06:09.060 He took that from me.

01:06:11.460 And you can't tell

01:06:12.280 there's only one ball there,

01:06:13.400 but like...

01:06:14.800 I think it matters, too.

01:06:15.840 You give it a heart reaction.

01:06:18.080 Toad satisfaction

01:06:18.700 should go into this.

01:06:19.800 I feel like we're all voting now. 0.99

01:06:21.440 All these dicks, 0.99

01:06:22.260 not just Toad. 0.99

01:06:23.060 Is that what's happening now?

01:06:24.700 I don't know.

01:06:25.180 I think so.

01:06:26.020 And I do want to say,

01:06:26.820 like,

01:06:27.300 this is a possible,

01:06:28.320 what,

01:06:28.960 five inches soft?

01:06:31.300 Would you say?

01:06:32.240 Maybe more?

01:06:33.020 Maybe six inches soft?

01:06:33.780 I think that's a six-inch soft.

01:06:35.860 It is a six...

01:06:36.400 Yeah, it's...

01:06:37.600 I did not react to the picture.

01:06:38.380 When I say, like, 0.99

01:06:39.260 below the balls, 0.99

01:06:40.080 I'm saying it's significantly 1.00

01:06:41.140 below the balls. 0.99

01:06:42.300 Soft. 1.00

01:06:43.180 A soft dick is a flaccid dick. 1.00

01:06:44.960 It's not a true soft... 1.00

01:06:45.980 It's not like a...

01:06:46.780 It's not mid-workout soft.

01:06:50.400 It's not...

01:06:50.780 It's semi-soft.

01:06:51.880 It's semi-soft.

01:06:52.300 It's like he's been

01:06:53.060 pulling at it a little bit.

01:06:53.980 It's warm in there.

01:06:54.940 Oh, no.

01:06:55.620 He pulled at it

01:06:57.580 until it got erect,

01:06:58.900 and then he waited

01:06:59.420 until it deflated.

01:07:00.180 He flopped.

01:07:00.420 And then the second

01:07:01.300 it deflated,

01:07:02.640 he photoded it.

01:07:03.260 No, no, no.

01:07:03.800 There's two...

01:07:04.520 The other thing is, 0.98

01:07:05.180 he jerked off already, 0.93

01:07:07.060 and then, like, 0.99

01:07:07.680 whenever it's done jerking off 0.99

01:07:09.180 and it's already spit up, 0.96

01:07:10.300 and it's just kind of, like,

01:07:11.080 sitting there,

01:07:11.860 that's, like, that one.

01:07:13.260 Dude, he understands

01:07:15.200 the art of the fluff.

01:07:16.680 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:17.560 It's a nice cock. 1.00

01:07:21.020 Not gonna lie. 1.00

01:07:21.220 Raven, Raven,

01:07:21.960 tell me if I'm right.

01:07:23.120 No one can see it.

01:07:31.440 What difference does it make?

01:07:33.520 Oh, that's not who

01:07:34.220 I was thinking of,

01:07:35.000 but, yeah.

01:07:35.700 Jesus.

01:07:36.780 Didn't you think it was top

01:07:40.500 because they're both brown?

01:07:43.380 I didn't think brown.

01:07:44.720 I know.

01:07:45.100 I was, uh...

01:07:45.580 I was like,

01:07:45.940 I recognize that

01:07:46.640 fatty mustache.

01:07:47.660 You know what would've been hilarious?

01:07:49.640 If none of our audience sent it 0.98

01:07:51.460 and Toad got four dicks 1.00

01:07:52.860 and it was all of us. 0.97

01:07:55.120 I really...

01:07:55.740 Oh, my God.

01:07:56.480 We sent it to other people

01:07:57.740 that sent it? 1.00

01:07:58.040 I'm gonna send it my dick. 1.00

01:07:59.020 I'm gonna send it... 1.00

01:07:59.540 I'm not lying. 1.00

01:08:00.120 I'm sending it my penis. 1.00

01:08:01.060 I've seen it, man. 1.00

01:08:01.420 I've seen it my penis. 1.00

01:08:01.440 Yes, that's why I don't care 1.00

01:08:02.600 if you see it.

01:08:03.400 Send it from an ult.

01:08:04.980 Like, do it in a couple weeks

01:08:05.940 and send it from, like,

01:08:06.780 an ult to count.

01:08:06.900 Like, Fat Dave.

01:08:07.700 It's like, 1.00

01:08:08.140 it's Fat Dave's dick. 1.00

01:08:10.740 You gotta send it to a random fan. 0.99

01:08:12.800 Like, someone that's, like,

01:08:13.600 pretty niche

01:08:14.120 that you just have seen

01:08:14.960 pay attention a little bit.

01:08:15.740 Like, hey,

01:08:16.420 I have a task for you.

01:08:17.780 I need you to pretend 1.00

01:08:18.620 it's your dick. 1.00

01:08:18.740 That means someone else 1.00

01:08:19.520 has to see my dick. 1.00

01:08:20.640 I'm just saying it right. 1.00

01:08:21.500 Who cares?

01:08:23.420 No, that's too far.

01:08:24.860 Raven and I have 0.99

01:08:25.660 very similar dicks. 0.99

01:08:29.260 You think Lainey 0.99

01:08:30.060 will join this competition?

01:08:30.940 Listen, I...

01:08:31.540 I don't know that it's him.

01:08:33.380 I don't know,

01:08:34.220 but I think it's his.

01:08:35.020 I feel like Lainey...

01:08:35.940 I feel like Lainey

01:08:36.640 would win this competition.

01:08:38.040 Oh, dude.

01:08:38.700 I bet Lainey's got a piece. 1.00

01:08:40.940 I bet Lainey's got 0.91

01:08:41.660 a delicious lady piece.

01:08:43.180 A little scrumptious.

01:08:44.960 Yeah, scrumptidly

01:08:46.740 options, even, yeah. 1.00

01:08:48.480 This is the stupidest shit. 1.00

01:08:49.920 I love it. 1.00

01:08:50.780 His ladyboy dick 1.00

01:08:51.600 makes our dicks 1.00

01:08:52.360 look like ladyboy dicks. 1.00

01:08:54.860 She'll say some shit 1.00

01:08:55.600 about her dick. 1.00

01:08:56.060 He's like, 1.00

01:08:56.260 yeah, it's a dick, 1.00

01:08:56.840 but it just feels feminine 1.00

01:08:58.760 or whatever the fuck. 0.90

01:08:59.800 Like, every time we ask, 0.99

01:09:00.900 I'm like,

01:09:01.140 I don't know what this means.

01:09:02.560 I really feel like 0.98

01:09:03.260 if we did get a dick pic 0.99

01:09:04.160 from Lainey, 0.99

01:09:04.600 it'd be, like, exquisite.

01:09:05.820 It would be, like,

01:09:06.740 there would be, like,

01:09:07.580 filters on it

01:09:08.300 to make it so it's, like, 0.99

01:09:09.000 sparkless coming off the dick. 0.99

01:09:10.880 We got pages. 1.00

01:09:11.940 How big do you think

01:09:13.460 it could be, though,

01:09:14.180 when Lainey is, like,

01:09:15.560 half Asian, though?

01:09:17.520 Oh, no.

01:09:18.100 It's the half that matters.

01:09:19.760 I don't think it matters.

01:09:21.060 Well, I didn't say

01:09:22.000 it was going to be, like,

01:09:22.420 a huge piece.

01:09:23.060 I just think it was going

01:09:23.720 to be, like,

01:09:24.560 really artfully done. 1.00

01:09:26.180 I was just looking at my ass. 1.00

01:09:27.520 I was just looking at my ass. 1.00

01:09:32.080 That's what I woke up to 1.00

01:09:33.140 was just his fucking, 1.00

01:09:34.420 his keister 1.00

01:09:35.160 and his hard dick 1.00

01:09:36.500 violently stroking it 1.00

01:09:38.060 in the shower.

01:09:38.480 I'm not lying.

01:09:39.160 I saw the video today

01:09:40.380 and I was like, 0.99

01:09:41.280 that's not a bad-looking dick. 0.99

01:09:43.320 I literally saw it 0.99

01:09:43.960 and I was like...

01:09:44.220 Yeah, it looks good from underneath, dude.

01:09:45.080 It does.

01:09:45.620 Why did you see it today?

01:09:47.820 Because that was on

01:09:48.480 Elizabeth's phone, right?

01:09:49.640 I'm not going to lie.

01:09:50.320 It's on my Snapchat.

01:09:51.180 It's on my Snapchat.

01:09:52.980 If you got access

01:09:54.100 to my Snapchat, 1.00

01:09:54.860 you would see this dick. 1.00

01:09:55.800 I'm so glad 0.99

01:09:56.600 we made this scale

01:09:58.380 zero to scrumdiddly. 0.97

01:09:59.720 I'm sure it's fucking amazing. 0.94

01:10:00.400 Guys, guys, guys. 0.91

01:10:00.980 I think I just had an idea.

01:10:02.660 Raven said,

01:10:03.280 okay, but what do I win?

01:10:04.600 All right,

01:10:04.900 I think we should...

01:10:05.680 Oh, yeah, the red distance.

01:10:07.480 What did we say?

01:10:08.480 What's going on here?

01:10:09.200 We have to make this

01:10:10.640 a little bit more subtle.

01:10:11.240 No, we're going to make it

01:10:11.880 into a design,

01:10:12.560 put it on a t-shirt,

01:10:13.480 say Tower Gang Cock of the Week.

01:10:14.900 When is this ending?

01:10:15.880 I think we should merge it

01:10:17.020 with October

01:10:17.840 and just kind of like

01:10:18.740 throughout the...

01:10:19.040 Cocktober.

01:10:19.840 Cocktober.

01:10:20.440 Cocktober.

01:10:21.280 Yup, end of Cocktober.

01:10:23.140 Nailed it.

01:10:23.820 And you get free art

01:10:26.260 and honestly,

01:10:27.860 Topp,

01:10:28.060 would you be able to do

01:10:28.840 a free t-shirt

01:10:29.500 for the winner?

01:10:30.500 Free t-shirt.

01:10:31.400 Yeah.

01:10:31.920 It doesn't have to be 1.00

01:10:32.800 your cock on the t-shirt. 0.99

01:10:33.720 You just get a t-shirt. 1.00

01:10:34.520 You just get whatever t-shirt you want.

01:10:35.700 You have to pay. 1.00

01:10:37.440 No, no, you get your cock. 1.00

01:10:38.340 It's a paid subscriber 0.99

01:10:39.020 to enter this contest, though.

01:10:41.680 Yeah, all right.

01:10:42.440 But real quick, though,

01:10:43.000 I do love the idea of this

01:10:44.500 because I know

01:10:44.960 we kind of kicked around

01:10:45.620 the idea of maybe

01:10:46.180 doing a few spooky episodes.

01:10:47.780 I think it'd be hilarious

01:10:48.900 if we have like Merkle

01:10:49.940 or something

01:10:50.300 and then like right near the end

01:10:51.340 we're like,

01:10:51.600 all right,

01:10:52.080 now we're going to run 0.99

01:10:52.760 through these dicks. 0.99

01:10:53.740 It's really cool. 0.99

01:10:55.060 Hey, Tony.

01:10:55.860 Hey, Tony. 0.99

01:10:57.600 Tony, if you want to see the dick, 1.00

01:10:58.860 you can see it. 1.00

01:10:59.660 But we will describe it.

01:11:01.940 Dude, I don't like this.

01:11:03.040 Dude, I'm going to run through 1.00

01:11:04.800 so many dicks. 0.99

01:11:07.240 That's okay. 1.00

01:11:08.900 You were going to. 0.99

01:11:09.780 Do you have them evaluate dicks? 0.99

01:11:12.920 Wait, let's talk to the audience. 0.98

01:11:14.280 We want to do a conspiracy month.

01:11:15.820 I want to do a conspiracy month

01:11:17.000 in October.

01:11:18.520 But if we're doing

01:11:19.320 the Cocktober thing, 0.98

01:11:20.320 I think that that expands

01:11:21.960 our range for like guests

01:11:23.020 because we were concerned

01:11:23.660 about getting someone

01:11:24.260 too serious.

01:11:25.340 And I think it's better

01:11:26.140 if they're more serious.

01:11:27.420 Yeah, that breaks the ice.

01:11:28.620 They're like,

01:11:29.020 you do it maybe like halfway through.

01:11:30.340 Oh, wait, break the ice

01:11:31.000 and we start with it.

01:11:32.060 Welcome to Tower Gang. 0.99

01:11:34.960 Let's see some dick. 1.00

01:11:37.260 Tower Gang, motherfucker. 1.00

01:11:39.480 I think we should do that. 1.00

01:11:41.300 Honestly.

01:11:41.840 I think we should open it up

01:11:42.940 like just so you know,

01:11:45.280 conspiracy theorist expert,

01:11:46.780 this is what we do here.

01:11:48.580 Wait, how do we?

01:11:49.300 Yeah.

01:11:49.940 Okay.

01:11:51.620 Whatever.

01:11:52.140 Can you imagine 1.00

01:11:53.300 Shane's analysis of penis? 1.00

01:11:55.660 Like Shane Cashman, 1.00

01:11:56.560 it'd be great.

01:11:57.280 Like he's got such art knowledge, 0.98

01:11:58.640 he'd be pulling out fucking like, 0.99

01:12:00.060 well, it's remnant. 0.99

01:12:01.080 Like I can't even do an impression.

01:12:03.140 Now, honestly,

01:12:03.780 the bar has been set pretty high.

01:12:06.140 I'm not going to lie.

01:12:06.760 So you have to have,

01:12:08.100 like honestly,

01:12:08.840 I'm putting mine forth

01:12:09.740 and I think I have a chance, 0.99

01:12:11.840 but damn, 0.98

01:12:13.080 the bar has been set pretty high. 1.00

01:12:15.100 I feel like your dick is fatter, 1.00

01:12:18.620 but like, 1.00

01:12:19.720 you know,

01:12:19.960 I'm a length guy,

01:12:21.240 so.

01:12:22.140 I'm a length guy.

01:12:24.380 Can we just say,

01:12:25.120 I'm a length guy?

01:12:26.000 But what goes into it

01:12:27.980 is that like,

01:12:28.720 so it's also the body.

01:12:30.520 So don't be coming over here

01:12:31.660 with like, 1.00

01:12:32.420 like that like fat shit 1.00

01:12:34.040 frumpy looking body. 1.00

01:12:35.500 I don't know,

01:12:36.060 because if it's like a Ron Jeremy,

01:12:37.540 no, no, no,

01:12:37.900 because if a Ron Jeremy shows up 1.00

01:12:39.160 and like has a fucking fat ass body, 1.00

01:12:41.180 ugly looking motherfucker, 1.00

01:12:42.140 but the dick has a, 1.00

01:12:43.440 is a piece. 1.00

01:12:44.940 Yeah, that's fine.

01:12:45.720 Seven and a quarter. 1.00

01:12:47.480 Fuck me, man. 1.00

01:12:48.320 That's not fair. 1.00

01:12:49.540 Seriously, 1.00

01:12:49.940 fuck me in the ass 1.00

01:12:51.120 with a fleshlight, man. 1.00

01:12:52.340 I bet you he's a man like us.

01:12:54.100 I bet you he's a man.

01:12:54.460 Wait,

01:12:54.760 wait until I get that quarter inch

01:12:56.560 from Clint.

01:12:57.080 I'm coming for you, boy.

01:13:00.380 Once I get that quarter inch

01:13:01.440 from Clint like five times, 1.00

01:13:03.340 I'm coming for your ass. 1.00

01:13:04.860 I told you, 1.00

01:13:06.040 I told you we had the same dick. 1.00

01:13:07.640 I told you. 1.00

01:13:08.780 He ain't lying.

01:13:10.000 All right.

01:13:10.840 Anyways, 0.97

01:13:11.160 that was a really gay segment. 0.94

01:13:14.260 Good job, guys.

01:13:14.800 I think it's a,

01:13:15.480 Cole's got to get out of here,

01:13:16.420 so I don't know if you guys want to

01:13:17.440 call it a little one today. 1.00

01:13:19.100 Unless you got more shit 1.00

01:13:19.820 you guys want to go through. 0.99

01:13:20.740 Yeah, he said in the private chat.

01:13:22.160 Jeez.

01:13:22.820 Oh.

01:13:23.560 You guys know what's up.

01:13:24.780 We can't talk about the show, though.

01:13:26.480 We have,

01:13:27.220 Oh, you're going to go 0.99

01:13:27.840 fucking put your piece 1.00

01:13:29.560 in dude's keister 1.00

01:13:30.600 with the fucking fleshlight on him? 0.99

01:13:31.740 Yeah, 0.99

01:13:32.120 there's a dude

01:13:32.860 waiting for me out there.

01:13:33.860 He heard us talking.

01:13:34.780 He was like,

01:13:35.240 I have a fleshlight

01:13:36.120 and I'm ready.

01:13:37.140 And I was like, 0.99

01:13:37.640 let's fucking go. 0.99

01:13:38.460 All right, Cole, 0.99

01:13:40.540 what are your plugs?

01:13:41.340 Fat Comic Dave on Twitter

01:13:42.600 at Tower Gang Cole on Twitter.

01:13:45.320 And then also the Instagram.

01:13:47.920 Not Tower Gang on Instagram.

01:13:50.040 I'm going to start

01:13:50.640 trying to post more there. 0.78

01:13:51.860 I feel like if we kill

01:13:53.420 the episode right now,

01:13:54.300 our audience is going to riot.

01:13:56.100 We can't do that to them.

01:13:56.940 No, no.

01:13:57.300 We're going to do baby seasoning.

01:13:59.680 Love you, boys.

01:14:00.820 Later, brother.

01:14:02.120 Peace.

01:14:02.440 Do you have the button 1.00

01:14:04.980 of the fucking fake? 1.00

01:14:07.100 I want to hear it. 1.00

01:14:08.220 Yeah.

01:14:09.200 Oh, the fake one?

01:14:10.460 Yeah.

01:14:10.920 Yeah, why?

01:14:11.660 Why do we want to hit that for us?

01:14:12.640 Actually,

01:14:12.960 well,

01:14:15.000 do you guys want to choose? 1.00

01:14:18.180 We have ice bath fucking 1.00

01:14:20.120 and we have seasoned babies. 1.00

01:14:22.900 What do we want to do?

01:14:24.200 Yo, pull up the ice bath one.

01:14:26.000 I want to read it to the audience

01:14:26.900 because this is one of the funniest 0.99

01:14:28.260 fucking tweets ever. 0.99

01:14:30.100 And I feel like any guy 0.99

01:14:31.160 Yeah, I thought it was Reddit at first.

01:14:32.540 Any guy who's not a virgin

01:14:33.700 can relate to this story. 0.99

01:14:35.000 It's fucking beautiful. 0.99

01:14:36.480 I can't relate whatsoever. 0.99

01:14:38.320 Yeah, well,

01:14:38.820 that's why I said any guy.

01:14:39.880 That's not that.

01:14:40.980 Can you zoom, though?

01:14:41.940 Because I can't read that.

01:14:43.540 Uh, yeah.

01:14:44.180 Uh-oh.

01:14:44.960 You're asking the world right now.

01:14:46.940 There we go.

01:14:47.340 He did it.

01:14:47.880 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:14:48.280 Yeah, no shit. 0.99

01:14:49.000 I'm nowhere near the level 0.98

01:14:50.140 of Russell Brand,

01:14:51.060 Alex Jones,

01:14:51.780 Trump,

01:14:52.100 or the Tate brothers,

01:14:52.960 but I want you guys

01:14:53.660 to hear this from me.

01:14:54.820 About 20 years ago,

01:14:55.780 I used to date this chick 1.00

01:14:56.880 who was into weird shit. 1.00

01:14:58.360 She would fill the bathtub 1.00

01:14:59.180 with ice cubes

01:14:59.860 and lay in it

01:15:00.500 until she was freezing cold 0.99

01:15:01.780 and want me to bang her 1.00

01:15:02.940 while she pretended she was dead. 0.99

01:15:04.620 I wasn't into it,

01:15:06.000 but relationships

01:15:07.220 are about compromise.

01:15:08.700 She also made 0.56

01:15:09.340 bomb-ass chicken cutlets

01:15:10.300 and I was afraid 0.83

01:15:11.080 if I said no,

01:15:12.500 she wouldn't make them anymore.

01:15:13.860 I used to have them

01:15:14.620 with the microwavable

01:15:15.480 Jolly Green Giant

01:15:16.300 Cauliflower and Cheese. 0.99

01:15:17.560 So fucking good. 0.97

01:15:18.960 Anyway, 0.97

01:15:19.700 right before we broke up,

01:15:20.960 things took a sharp left turn

01:15:22.080 from her usual necrophilia.

01:15:24.140 She wanted me to give her

01:15:25.100 a Cleveland steamer.

01:15:26.400 That's where I wanted

01:15:27.180 to draw the line,

01:15:28.120 but them cutlets, though.

01:15:29.560 Anyway, 1.00

01:15:30.480 I shit on her chest 0.99

01:15:31.160 probably eight or nine times 0.99

01:15:32.800 in the last few weeks

01:15:33.800 we were together.

01:15:34.600 I'm not proud of it.

01:15:35.700 I don't want you guys

01:15:36.380 to judge me,

01:15:37.060 but since we're coming up

01:15:37.900 on the 20-year mark,

01:15:39.160 if some random chick 1.00

01:15:39.880 comes out of the woodwork

01:15:40.640 saying I used to make them

01:15:41.620 play dead 1.00

01:15:42.140 or take a shit on them, 1.00

01:15:42.920 that was all her. 1.00

01:15:45.380 Sorry.

01:15:45.700 I just thought it was 0.96

01:15:46.320 such a fucking funny thing. 0.98

01:15:47.220 Clint, you know who 0.99

01:15:47.760 this guy is, right?

01:15:49.420 I don't.

01:15:50.260 He's the gym influence.

01:15:52.280 It's all time.

01:15:53.840 Oh, it's that guy?

01:15:56.220 So you saying it like that

01:15:58.420 was just funny to me

01:15:59.280 because it's like

01:15:59.920 his would be like,

01:16:01.060 I'm nowhere near level

01:16:01.920 Russell Blaine,

01:16:02.740 Alex Jones,

01:16:03.360 Trump with the K-Brothers, 0.98

01:16:04.180 boy, why are you guys

01:16:04.740 here for me?

01:16:05.900 I'm sorry I read it

01:16:06.960 the wrong way then.

01:16:08.280 My bad.

01:16:08.480 Yeah, he's the

01:16:09.220 House of Gaines guy, yeah.

01:16:10.560 I know all you guys

01:16:12.140 got married so young,

01:16:13.300 you don't have any 1.00

01:16:13.940 fucking weird stories 0.99

01:16:14.860 like this, do you? 0.99

01:16:16.020 Like, you have none?

01:16:16.700 I mean, I probably

01:16:17.680 ran through the low teens

01:16:20.320 before I got married

01:16:21.420 and that was only

01:16:22.340 the scope of a couple years.

01:16:23.840 Dude, if I had blown up

01:16:24.900 become YouTube famous 0.99

01:16:26.140 or some shit 0.99

01:16:26.880 within a few years 1.00

01:16:28.260 after banging

01:16:28.780 some of those hoes, 1.00

01:16:29.720 I wouldn't be

01:16:30.260 at least bit surprised

01:16:30.880 if some of them

01:16:31.280 coming out to get me 1.00

01:16:32.060 for some dumb bullshit. 1.00

01:16:33.440 And I didn't even hit 1.00

01:16:34.240 nowhere near the levels 0.99

01:16:35.420 of shit even probably 1.00

01:16:37.540 you, Clint, 1.00

01:16:38.160 or Russell Brand

01:16:40.220 or any of these 1.00

01:16:40.620 motherfuckers. 1.00

01:16:41.800 Well, Russell Brand 1.00

01:16:42.640 was very open 0.96

01:16:44.000 about being a sex addict 0.99

01:16:44.900 so he had sex 0.98

01:16:46.160 with at least 0.97

01:16:47.400 a thousand women 0.99

01:16:48.120 if I had to guess.

01:16:49.500 And to only have

01:16:50.800 five claims

01:16:51.600 is like,

01:16:52.580 yeah, you're doing

01:16:53.180 all right.

01:16:54.220 Why are we not

01:16:55.500 talking about the story

01:16:56.420 that you just read?

01:16:58.740 Because we're playing

01:17:00.200 off of it.

01:17:00.720 I wanted to know

01:17:01.940 if you guys have

01:17:02.500 any stories like that.

01:17:03.720 No, not really.

01:17:04.740 I don't really have

01:17:05.400 any, I don't know.

01:17:06.900 I didn't have any 0.99

01:17:07.520 crazy bitches 1.00

01:17:08.240 that did weird shit 1.00

01:17:08.900 like that. 0.97

01:17:09.740 The only thing

01:17:10.260 that I had

01:17:10.720 that even comes close

01:17:11.660 and it's not really close

01:17:12.880 and I didn't actually

01:17:14.160 sleep with her 0.97

01:17:14.600 because she was so crazy 0.99

01:17:15.420 I feared for my life.

01:17:17.780 Chick was like 1.00

01:17:18.420 a bodybuilder.

01:17:20.340 Incredible shape.

01:17:21.400 Very beautiful too.

01:17:23.020 But she just kept

01:17:24.920 hitting me

01:17:25.460 and telling me 1.00

01:17:26.000 to hit her 0.99

01:17:26.480 and I was like,

01:17:27.860 I ain't doing that.

01:17:29.120 I'm not going to hit you.

01:17:30.020 This is crazy.

01:17:31.400 But she started 1.00

01:17:32.700 calling me a pussy 1.00

01:17:33.420 and a bitch 1.00

01:17:33.900 and started fucking 1.00

01:17:34.560 hitting me harder 1.00

01:17:35.160 and harder

01:17:35.500 and just being like,

01:17:36.580 I want you to do this. 1.00

01:17:38.740 Yeah, I guess I am a pussy 1.00

01:17:39.520 but I also didn't go 1.00

01:17:40.600 to prison

01:17:40.960 so win for me.

01:17:42.780 Was this like

01:17:43.260 an ongoing thing

01:17:44.300 with you guys?

01:17:45.380 No, just some random chick 1.00

01:17:46.840 that I kind of barely knew.

01:17:48.500 I think I've never

01:17:49.260 met that level crazy

01:17:50.840 because I really

01:17:51.920 pretty much just slept around

01:17:52.920 and never had

01:17:53.780 serious relationships

01:17:54.580 until I got married.

01:17:55.720 I got married super young.

01:17:57.240 My wife's the only chick 1.00

01:17:58.060 I ever fucked 0.99

01:17:59.000 that I actually liked. 0.98

01:17:59.980 I feel like

01:18:04.600 usually to get

01:18:05.920 those levels of crazy 0.88

01:18:06.900 You married the first chick 1.00

01:18:08.480 you enjoyed fucking? 1.00

01:18:09.900 Well, not enjoyed 1.00

01:18:10.740 that I actually liked

01:18:11.600 as a person.

01:18:12.820 Oh, you meant it

01:18:13.620 like intolerable.

01:18:15.340 Okay.

01:18:16.620 He's like,

01:18:17.340 this isn't so bad.

01:18:19.280 Want to get married?

01:18:21.160 Pretty much, yeah.

01:18:23.860 All right.

01:18:24.420 I guess we don't have

01:18:25.120 anything to say about this.

01:18:26.020 Because we're just

01:18:26.500 kind of glossing over

01:18:27.400 the fact that

01:18:28.060 this lady was 0.99

01:18:29.400 like practicing

01:18:30.500 necrophilia

01:18:31.520 so she was alive 1.00

01:18:33.460 but would get her pussy 1.00

01:18:34.760 real cold. 1.00

01:18:35.560 Could you even fuck 1.00

01:18:36.520 a really cold pussy? 1.00

01:18:37.900 Like I feel like 1.00

01:18:38.460 I don't know

01:18:39.240 if I'd be able to

01:18:39.700 I've done it

01:18:40.160 a thousand times. 1.00

01:18:41.760 Would your dick 1.00

01:18:42.560 somehow like 1.00

01:18:44.080 warm it up?

01:18:45.240 You would definitely

01:18:45.540 need lube. 0.99

01:18:46.140 That's going to really

01:18:46.840 fuck up the lubrication.

01:18:47.840 No, no. 1.00

01:18:48.560 So if her pussy 1.00

01:18:50.160 is like frozen 1.00

01:18:51.220 but then you

01:18:51.860 No, it's a myth.

01:18:52.820 It's a myth

01:18:53.220 that a girl needs 1.00

01:18:53.800 to be turned on 1.00

01:18:54.500 for you to have sex with her. 1.00

01:18:55.640 Total lie. 1.00

01:18:56.360 You can just spit on it.

01:18:57.900 I too have committed 0.99

01:19:00.880 rape before.

01:19:03.560 What?

01:19:04.840 Clip it.

01:19:06.060 Clip it. 0.57

01:19:06.700 Put him in jail.

01:19:09.140 I don't know

01:19:09.780 why everyone's so hard

01:19:10.500 on this Russell Brand guy.

01:19:12.820 Here's the thing

01:19:13.460 about this

01:19:13.780 that everyone's missing.

01:19:15.000 His girlfriend

01:19:15.800 wasn't into necrophilia.

01:19:17.680 He was.

01:19:18.540 Because how would

01:19:19.640 she get any pleasure

01:19:20.600 from just being cold?

01:19:22.300 Like it would have

01:19:23.000 to be the guy

01:19:23.600 to want to enjoy 0.83

01:19:25.020 a cold dead body.

01:19:26.160 I think he was

01:19:27.460 because he's

01:19:28.280 Well, think about it.

01:19:29.420 He said it took

01:19:30.020 a left turn

01:19:30.820 when she started

01:19:31.940 asking for Cleveland

01:19:32.740 steamers.

01:19:33.460 Like he was fine 1.00

01:19:34.140 with the ice shit. 1.00

01:19:35.200 Like he was 1.00

01:19:35.820 thrown off by the shit. 1.00

01:19:36.820 No, no. 1.00

01:19:37.420 He was very clear.

01:19:38.820 He was only doing 1.00

01:19:39.540 the ice shit 1.00

01:19:40.140 because of the 1.00

01:19:40.980 chicken cutlets.

01:19:41.980 He then continued 0.99

01:19:43.080 to do the shitting 1.00

01:19:44.120 on her thing 1.00

01:19:44.680 for chicken cutlets.

01:19:45.560 It's weird

01:19:45.960 that you guys

01:19:46.340 are focusing

01:19:46.740 on the necrophilia 0.99

01:19:47.480 and not the shitting 1.00

01:19:48.140 on her thing. 1.00

01:19:48.780 That makes me question

01:19:50.620 where your heads

01:19:51.460 are at morally.

01:19:52.120 I feel like

01:19:52.460 that's more normal.

01:19:53.900 Wow.

01:19:54.560 I don't know.

01:19:55.320 I mean, I guess

01:19:55.720 in a certain way

01:19:56.560 that is like

01:19:57.240 a more normal

01:19:57.960 like it is less weird

01:19:59.460 but it's less

01:20:00.200 it's more tolerable.

01:20:01.880 So many women 0.98

01:20:03.040 have rape fantasies. 0.99

01:20:04.320 I don't find 0.99

01:20:04.860 the like playing

01:20:06.160 dead thing

01:20:06.720 to be all that strange 0.99

01:20:07.960 but like shitting 1.00

01:20:08.900 on someone 1.00

01:20:09.620 like full on 1.00

01:20:10.560 shitting on someone 1.00

01:20:11.240 I like I know 1.00

01:20:12.400 it's a joke

01:20:13.000 and people joke

01:20:13.680 about it a lot

01:20:14.140 but I don't think

01:20:14.560 it's like a common

01:20:15.280 practice.

01:20:15.760 If it is,

01:20:16.800 wow.

01:20:17.000 I do think though

01:20:18.300 in the like fetish stuff

01:20:19.620 it's probably more

01:20:20.460 common fetish

01:20:21.240 to mess with poop

01:20:22.600 than it is

01:20:23.100 Only in Germany.

01:20:24.320 Probably not elsewhere.

01:20:25.440 Than it is to

01:20:25.920 try to do

01:20:26.700 necrophilia play.

01:20:28.440 I don't know.

01:20:28.580 It's a whole to do.

01:20:30.680 But that's

01:20:31.060 like I think about it.

01:20:32.380 But for real though

01:20:33.560 if my wife 0.97

01:20:34.380 is really into that

01:20:35.340 and that's what

01:20:35.760 she wanted

01:20:36.340 You gotta eat

01:20:37.300 you gotta take a laxative

01:20:38.420 like it's such a to do.

01:20:40.040 Yeah.

01:20:40.900 No, how much ice

01:20:41.800 do you need to fill up 1.00

01:20:42.400 a fucking bathtub 1.00

01:20:43.060 like you're going 1.00

01:20:43.820 to the store

01:20:44.540 That is a to do.

01:20:45.860 That actually

01:20:46.280 That's a great point.

01:20:47.980 She'd have to get

01:20:48.440 Wait, then you're sitting

01:20:49.320 in the tub

01:20:50.820 she's probably also

01:20:51.960 putting on like

01:20:52.760 makeup so that

01:20:53.800 she's like a little 0.99

01:20:54.320 bluer or some shit. 1.00

01:20:55.220 This is a whole thing. 0.99

01:20:56.040 This is a production

01:20:56.680 whereas like 0.99

01:20:57.540 I might just shit on you 1.00

01:20:58.960 during sex. 1.00

01:21:00.500 Like that's like a 1.00

01:21:01.140 I just shit on you 0.99

01:21:02.660 that's like real quick. 1.00

01:21:04.180 It's normal.

01:21:05.060 It's more normal.

01:21:05.900 Why are you guys

01:21:07.480 even framing this

01:21:08.200 as if it's a negative?

01:21:09.140 Like she has to play dead

01:21:10.160 which means she's not talking

01:21:11.180 which is kind of a win.

01:21:12.600 You could totally be like

01:21:13.880 you could put this

01:21:15.160 in a situation like

01:21:15.940 hey you're one

01:21:16.980 with a weird request here

01:21:18.180 if you're asking me

01:21:19.520 for any involvement 1.00

01:21:20.320 other than fucking you 1.00

01:21:21.340 like you're out of your mind 1.00

01:21:23.140 so you do the ice

01:21:24.160 call me whenever you're ready

01:21:25.320 for your whatever 0.99

01:21:26.260 fucking thing you want me to do. 0.99

01:21:27.260 But see the dude 1.00

01:21:27.680 wanted chicken cutlets though

01:21:28.700 so he had to stick

01:21:29.560 like stick around

01:21:30.360 which is a

01:21:30.860 that's a mistake.

01:21:32.320 What kind of chicken cutlets 1.00

01:21:33.560 this bitch made? 1.00

01:21:34.160 He was describing the food 1.00

01:21:35.200 it sounded like shit to me 0.99

01:21:36.360 because he was like 1.00

01:21:37.360 I eat these chicken cutlets

01:21:38.440 with like microwavable

01:21:39.800 like bird's eye

01:21:40.840 cauliflower and green beans 0.99

01:21:42.440 what the fuck is that? 0.98

01:21:43.360 That doesn't sound good. 1.00

01:21:43.980 That shit's delicious. 1.00

01:21:45.060 No. 1.00

01:21:45.600 That's pretty good.

01:21:46.480 What?

01:21:46.640 You've never had 1.00

01:21:47.240 you've never had fucking 1.00

01:21:48.200 cauliflower and broccoli 1.00

01:21:49.540 and the cheddar

01:21:50.520 that you just microwave 1.00

01:21:51.400 that shit's delicious dude. 1.00

01:21:52.240 I'm just saying 1.00

01:21:52.560 for that to keep

01:21:53.740 for that to keep

01:21:54.580 somebody around

01:21:55.040 It wouldn't keep me

01:21:55.680 it wouldn't keep me around

01:21:56.800 cook for me baby. 1.00

01:21:58.700 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:22:00.120 You stay around for anything. 1.00

01:22:01.620 You liar. 1.00

01:22:02.960 Nah. 0.99

01:22:04.120 Alright alright

01:22:04.560 next one.

01:22:05.700 Yeah.

01:22:06.380 Alright.

01:22:07.980 So we have

01:22:08.880 I don't know

01:22:12.360 if you want to read

01:22:12.880 this tweet here

01:22:13.920 but we have found

01:22:15.120 a new cultural

01:22:16.240 or hang on 1.00

01:22:17.640 shit. 1.00

01:22:18.460 This guy. 1.00

01:22:19.240 This guy brought up

01:22:20.140 the same thing.

01:22:20.360 Yeah yeah yeah.

01:22:21.300 He's an engineer.

01:22:23.320 You know he's never

01:22:23.840 you know he's never

01:22:24.640 programmed a computer right?

01:22:26.700 Yeah.

01:22:27.420 Only do it every day.

01:22:29.260 Alright this is done

01:22:29.800 in several African countries

01:22:31.060 after a child is born.

01:22:32.020 It's a mixture

01:22:32.360 of different herbs

01:22:33.040 to protect and disinfect

01:22:34.000 the skin

01:22:34.500 while also warding

01:22:35.320 off evil spirits.

01:22:36.740 In some instances

01:22:37.360 babies are traditionally

01:22:38.260 given their first bath

01:22:39.180 by their grandmother

01:22:39.780 in some cultures

01:22:40.500 this usually consists

01:22:41.420 of intense scrubbing

01:22:42.320 with palm oil

01:22:42.940 and the natural hard sponge

01:22:45.280 to get off

01:22:45.760 all the vermix

01:22:47.160 which is a whitish substance. 0.99

01:22:48.980 What the fuck is that? 0.99

01:22:49.780 I don't know. 1.00

01:22:50.120 Sounds like smegma. 0.95

01:22:51.480 I have no idea.

01:22:52.260 To allow the pores 0.93

01:22:53.060 to open and prevent

01:22:53.780 body odor in the baby

01:22:55.000 some bath babies

01:22:56.440 and herbal

01:22:56.920 babies smell incredible.

01:22:58.020 What are we talking about?

01:22:58.760 I know.

01:22:59.260 My kids still don't smell

01:23:00.820 they're like phone five

01:23:02.300 and these people are great.

01:23:03.740 Some bath babies

01:23:04.660 and herbal concoctions

01:23:05.640 such as rosemary leaves

01:23:07.140 chalk etc.

01:23:08.860 Some bend the baby's

01:23:09.900 arms backwards

01:23:10.660 hold babies upside down

01:23:12.120 massage baby's heads

01:23:13.560 and toss in the air

01:23:14.420 all to ensure

01:23:15.300 increased flexibility

01:23:16.160 and have a well formed head.

01:23:17.480 Yeah this is why

01:23:18.140 they're IQs in it.

01:23:19.040 Some even press baby cheeks

01:23:21.460 in order to form dimples

01:23:22.780 and rub all sorts

01:23:23.480 of the baby's skin

01:23:24.340 to elicit a sheen.

01:23:25.780 The eyelashes of some babies

01:23:27.120 are painted with local paint.

01:23:28.440 Tiro while the umbilical cord

01:23:30.100 is pressed with hot lantern

01:23:32.060 and other forms

01:23:33.100 of decoctions.

01:23:34.420 Africa.

01:23:36.720 Hashtag Africa.

01:23:38.900 I legit was horrified

01:23:40.320 when I first saw this.

01:23:41.080 I totally thought

01:23:41.700 it was like they were

01:23:42.180 eating the kid

01:23:42.700 when I just saw this.

01:23:43.660 Oh yeah cannibalism.

01:23:45.200 It looks like yeah

01:23:45.760 they're cooking the baby.

01:23:46.800 Yeah it does. 0.97

01:23:47.880 White people don't even 1.00

01:23:48.760 spice they babies though. 1.00

01:23:51.600 That's some blackened baby 1.00

01:23:53.040 right there.

01:23:54.860 This is so crazy. 1.00

01:23:55.900 Black people 1.00

01:23:58.440 are trying to tempt 1.00

01:24:00.040 the elites

01:24:00.680 to eat their babies 0.93

01:24:01.680 and the elites

01:24:02.240 are still like

01:24:02.800 no we don't want 1.00

01:24:03.460 those fucking black babies. 1.00

01:24:05.600 We seasoned it. 1.00

01:24:07.060 But we seasoned it man.

01:24:08.780 You don't want to

01:24:10.260 try a bite of my baby?

01:24:12.500 It's washed

01:24:13.480 and seasoned baby. 1.00

01:24:14.600 What the fuck 1.00

01:24:15.240 is this though? 1.00

01:24:16.560 What a cute baby by the way.

01:24:18.260 This looks like

01:24:18.740 a Jamaican dish.

01:24:19.600 I was just at

01:24:20.300 a Jamaican food store 1.00

01:24:22.100 and I seen some shit 1.00

01:24:23.440 like this behind the glass. 1.00

01:24:24.960 Like a literal baby

01:24:26.000 with collard greens on it.

01:24:27.340 Jamaican food slats though.

01:24:28.240 Yo real talk.

01:24:28.780 It does.

01:24:29.240 It probably tastes good.

01:24:31.860 Oh my god.

01:24:33.040 This does really

01:24:34.280 look like Jamaican cuisine.

01:24:36.920 Like for real. 1.00

01:24:38.260 Fucking fall off the bone dude. 1.00

01:24:39.860 Wait. 1.00

01:24:41.060 Here's a question.

01:24:42.580 Oh my god.

01:24:43.400 I legit just had

01:24:44.280 Jamaican food the other day

01:24:45.120 and I was so excited by it.

01:24:46.300 I was like 0.98

01:24:46.520 this is fucking good. 1.00

01:24:49.040 Succulent. 1.00

01:24:49.940 Do you think that

01:24:50.780 so we're saying

01:24:52.100 that babies smell good.

01:24:53.180 Yes they smell good here

01:24:55.020 but do you think

01:24:55.580 that African babies 1.00

01:24:56.760 don't smell good?

01:24:58.860 No I think they smell delicious.

01:25:00.740 No.

01:25:01.340 African babies smell great.

01:25:02.940 Yeah they're babies.

01:25:03.300 Are you sure about that?

01:25:04.520 Yeah.

01:25:04.920 What are you getting at?

01:25:05.280 Wait you think

01:25:06.140 that even the babies

01:25:07.120 are inferior?

01:25:08.800 Yes.

01:25:09.440 Yeah.

01:25:10.560 Do you think black people

01:25:11.560 are saying like

01:25:13.800 you know how they say 1.00

01:25:14.860 white girls smell like wet dog? 1.00

01:25:17.160 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:17.500 Maybe black people think 1.00

01:25:18.720 that babies smell like something. 0.99

01:25:20.760 Maybe they literally

01:25:21.420 think that culturally.

01:25:23.160 Yeah.

01:25:23.660 Yeah.

01:25:23.960 Like I was just saying

01:25:25.080 that like the conditions

01:25:26.300 in Africa are poor. 0.99

01:25:26.940 Dude black people 1.00

01:25:27.700 hate eating pussy. 1.00

01:25:29.120 Black people hate 1.00

01:25:30.020 eating pussy so bad 1.00

01:25:30.900 they don't even want 1.00

01:25:31.380 their baby to smell like it.

01:25:32.720 Ooh. 1.00

01:25:33.560 Damn. 1.00

01:25:34.100 There might be an angle there. 0.99

01:25:35.100 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:35.400 It comes out of the pussy 1.00

01:25:36.640 they're immediately like 1.00

01:25:37.380 we gotta season the shit 1.00

01:25:38.420 we gotta throw it in here. 1.00

01:25:40.020 Get rid of that.

01:25:40.900 Get rid of that. 1.00

01:25:41.160 Get rid of that pussy smell. 1.00

01:25:42.840 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:42.980 Make him smell like 1.00

01:25:44.420 fucking jerk chicken. 1.00

01:25:46.320 Yeah. 1.00

01:25:46.620 That white 0.97

01:25:47.320 verdicts or whatever

01:25:49.060 it sounds like cervix. 1.00

01:25:50.580 Get rid of that pussy residue. 1.00

01:25:52.580 Bring up Jack's chat. 1.00

01:25:53.720 Bring up Jack's chat.

01:25:55.440 Ugh.

01:25:56.100 Uh.

01:25:58.020 What? 1.00

01:25:58.780 You fucking. 1.00

01:25:59.380 I don't. 1.00

01:25:59.600 There's one?

01:26:00.240 No.

01:26:00.780 Jack.

01:26:01.220 Not just the row.

01:26:03.300 Oh.

01:26:03.460 Hands up.

01:26:03.820 Don't soup.

01:26:04.160 I can't read.

01:26:05.720 I am.

01:26:07.800 Hands up.

01:26:08.620 Don't soup.

01:26:09.080 I love it.

01:26:11.220 I love it so much.

01:26:12.220 Yo. 0.99

01:26:12.240 That's fucking great. 1.00

01:26:13.200 God damn it. 1.00

01:26:13.860 Why is our 1.00

01:26:14.380 fucking god damn audience 1.00

01:26:16.240 so much funnier than this? 1.00

01:26:16.740 I think the energy is gone

01:26:17.820 now that we lost Cole.

01:26:19.300 You have brought no energy.

01:26:20.960 That's on you.

01:26:21.960 I'm.

01:26:22.500 That's Cole.

01:26:23.240 Cole's energy.

01:26:23.920 Your energy.

01:26:24.620 Top has energy sometimes.

01:26:25.960 I'm just here for the ride.

01:26:27.000 Top's. 1.00

01:26:27.300 Top's connection sucks. 1.00

01:26:28.880 Cole. 1.00

01:26:29.560 Toad is never funny.

01:26:30.920 Cole's not allowed to leave the show.

01:26:33.120 Yeah.

01:26:33.420 Throws it off. 1.00

01:26:34.420 Fucking. 1.00

01:26:35.060 It's not really. 1.00

01:26:35.860 He's been in some version of mourning 0.98

01:26:37.720 so we can just fucking go 0.98

01:26:40.080 and be fine. 0.98

01:26:41.820 Well, this is what Jose does every week.

01:26:43.560 He tries to get out at a certain time.

01:26:45.560 To be fair, though,

01:26:46.960 sometimes after Cole has.

01:26:49.840 After Cole has left,

01:26:51.120 we've had some insane segments

01:26:53.000 after he's left, though.

01:26:53.920 That is true.

01:26:54.580 The chicken washer segment.

01:26:55.920 Yeah.

01:26:56.860 Baby seasoners, not as good.

01:26:58.540 Baby seasoners.

01:26:58.980 I think it was two on the nose.

01:27:00.740 Two on the nose, I think.

01:27:02.120 Should have gone a little more subtle.

01:27:04.020 All right.

01:27:04.320 With the baby seasoning?

01:27:06.140 Did we season it too much?

01:27:07.880 Yeah, a little too much.

01:27:08.880 We over-seasoned it.

01:27:10.380 It's overcooked.

01:27:11.420 It's blackened.

01:27:12.460 Yeah.

01:27:13.020 Meow, meow.

01:27:14.760 Meow, meow.

01:27:15.460 That's fair.

01:27:15.900 It's well done.

01:27:16.220 Toad, we have another clip

01:27:17.200 or are we getting out of here

01:27:18.480 with this, Toad?

01:27:19.200 Because this is embarrassing.

01:27:20.700 Yeah.

01:27:20.960 You guys.

01:27:21.640 It really is.

01:27:22.340 Come on.

01:27:23.000 We're supposed to be producing.

01:27:24.100 We're supposed to be entertaining.

01:27:25.020 Well, I dropped the beep clips

01:27:27.760 but our account is blocked

01:27:29.460 by Ryan Dawson.

01:27:30.680 This should have been handled

01:27:33.600 in pre-production.

01:27:37.240 Are you blocked?

01:27:38.420 Is your account blocked also?

01:27:40.520 Me?

01:27:41.340 No, Toad is your main account blocked.

01:27:42.860 I have one clip of this

01:27:45.040 where we're not blocked

01:27:45.980 if you want to see this.

01:27:47.200 Sure.

01:27:47.920 Wait, Ryan Dawson blocked you, Toad?

01:27:50.280 No, Tower Gang.

01:27:51.820 Oh, whatever.

01:27:52.360 Oh, so then pull it up

01:27:53.060 from your personal.

01:27:54.360 I don't understand 1.00

01:27:54.800 what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

01:27:55.740 He blocked the entire game? 1.00

01:27:56.860 I'd have to switch accounts

01:27:58.200 like in the same browser.

01:27:59.580 Oh my God.

01:28:00.320 This is great content.

01:28:02.160 Yeah.

01:28:03.480 Well, so we do it. 1.00

01:28:04.220 Well, fuck Ryan Dawson 1.00

01:28:05.180 from Walking Tower Gang. 0.99

01:28:06.600 Well, it was nice meeting you.

01:28:08.060 It was nice meeting you.

01:28:09.140 Before I leave,

01:28:10.000 I just want to say

01:28:10.820 whenever you get a chance,

01:28:12.440 I'm not saying now,

01:28:13.220 but maybe get on a step stool

01:28:16.340 and replace the battery

01:28:17.500 and your smoke alarm.

01:28:19.020 Oh my God.

01:28:19.140 Oh my God.

01:28:19.640 Oh my God.

01:28:20.140 Oh my God.

01:28:21.080 Oh my God.

01:28:21.720 Oh my God.

01:28:22.020 Oh my God.

01:28:22.140 Oh my God.

01:28:22.640 Oh my God.

01:28:22.740 Oh my God.

01:28:23.080 Oh my God.

01:28:24.020 Oh my God.

01:28:24.680 Oh my God.

01:28:24.700 Oh my God.

01:28:24.740 Oh my God.

01:28:24.760 Oh my God.

01:28:26.860 Don't do it for me.

01:28:27.720 Do it for you.

01:28:29.980 It's already a new battery in there.

01:28:32.300 No, there's not.

01:28:32.900 Wait a second.

01:28:35.820 Look at her little kid. 0.97

01:28:37.560 Yo, look at her eye, bruh.

01:28:42.680 Wait a second.

01:28:43.820 It'll chirp.

01:28:54.600 You see it now?

01:28:56.860 It's supposed to like sound.

01:29:03.020 Well, you have become immune to the chirp.

01:29:07.240 God bless.

01:29:10.220 All right.

01:29:12.320 They don't even hear it anymore.

01:29:15.500 Shout out to all our black viewers.

01:29:21.000 There are none,

01:29:21.500 but assuming there might be one,

01:29:22.680 maybe just change.

01:29:24.240 Just let everyone in your family know.

01:29:27.660 We're on to you.

01:29:28.640 You have to put batteries in your smoke detectors.

01:29:31.100 We don't want to make fun of you forever.

01:29:32.400 We're just trying to encourage you to stay safe.

01:29:34.500 Because if there's a fire and your smoke detector is beeping,

01:29:37.540 it's not going to beep and you're not going to hear it.

01:29:39.680 Even if it,

01:29:40.160 oh, that's interesting. 0.75

01:29:40.980 Do you think that black people even can hear it when it goes off? 1.00

01:29:45.080 Are they like, 1.00

01:29:46.120 Oh shit. 0.99

01:29:46.840 Oh, that's a lot of beeps. 1.00

01:29:47.820 It's like an internal metronome for them

01:29:50.440 that they just don't even pick up on.

01:29:52.440 Yo, it goes,

01:29:53.180 if the actual smoke detector goes off,

01:29:55.320 they just go into fast motion

01:29:57.480 because they've set up their internal clock

01:30:00.140 to the slow beep.

01:30:01.120 So when it goes fast,

01:30:01.900 they just start spreading.

01:30:02.880 Maybe that's why they're faster than us.

01:30:04.140 What if you just played the alarm sound

01:30:05.660 at a track meet

01:30:06.620 and they ran like 10 times faster

01:30:08.060 than any human has ever done?

01:30:10.420 Yeah. 0.99

01:30:10.960 This is actually why they're black 1.00

01:30:12.600 because they've been in so many fires 0.98

01:30:14.320 because they can't hear the smoke alarms.

01:30:15.760 Oh my God. 1.00

01:30:19.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:30:20.980 So dumb. 1.00

01:30:21.600 Holy shit. 1.00

01:30:24.060 That's crazy. 0.99

01:30:26.720 I really think they should probably make like a reverse, 0.94

01:30:29.520 you know, 0.99

01:30:30.280 the fucking one for them. 1.00

01:30:31.440 The one that like, 1.00

01:30:32.300 when it is dying,

01:30:33.820 it stops beeping.

01:30:35.160 And they still wouldn't notice it,

01:30:37.700 but they'd just be like,

01:30:38.340 something feels off.

01:30:39.440 And they'd be like,

01:30:40.040 Yo, you switch out your batteries recently?

01:30:42.160 You know the beep?

01:30:44.200 You're not getting no beep?

01:30:44.960 And they're like,

01:30:46.000 Oh,

01:30:46.740 Oh,

01:30:47.020 that's what's off in my life.

01:30:48.380 And then when there's a fire,

01:30:50.780 it stops beeping.

01:30:52.500 That's how they know.

01:30:53.940 Are we ready for,

01:30:55.080 we're ready for,

01:30:55.760 I switched to my account.

01:30:57.560 So we got these other ones too,

01:30:58.680 if you want.

01:30:58.960 So,

01:30:59.200 so wait,

01:30:59.740 so if you put a battery in it,

01:31:00.820 they panic because they're like,

01:31:02.200 there's no beep.

01:31:03.060 There's no beep.

01:31:03.840 Get out of the house.

01:31:04.620 First of all,

01:31:08.940 you're definitely a single woman because you got the single woman. 1.00

01:31:12.740 Tell that damn smoke detector. 1.00

01:31:16.020 Mm. 1.00

01:31:16.980 How do you live with this guy's running?

01:31:18.780 He's running.

01:31:19.380 The way that I've been living with just being a single woman is.

01:31:22.960 No,

01:31:23.040 no,

01:31:23.140 no,

01:31:23.320 no,

01:31:23.480 no,

01:31:23.620 no.

01:31:24.200 Specifically the smoke detector that keeps chirping.

01:31:27.800 How do you live with that?

01:31:29.840 Can you just elaborate more on like the,

01:31:31.580 what do you mean by the smoke?

01:31:32.620 It keeps going beep.

01:31:35.460 Like red flies.

01:31:36.520 Yeah.

01:31:36.820 That smoke detector that's beeping in the background.

01:31:41.080 There's a smoke detector.

01:31:43.380 She has no idea what he's talking about.

01:31:45.100 It beeps every 30 seconds and it goes beep.

01:31:47.940 I don't,

01:31:48.400 I don't hear anything beeping.

01:31:50.800 Did you just hear it again?

01:31:52.140 Cause I don't hear anything.

01:31:54.340 Wait for it.

01:31:59.920 Told you guys they don't hear it after a while.

01:32:02.620 There it was.

01:32:09.420 I'm confused.

01:32:10.520 I'm confused though,

01:32:11.300 because he's black and he hears it.

01:32:13.760 Yeah, 0.98

01:32:14.160 but he's obviously civilized.

01:32:16.100 This is the problem.

01:32:16.960 Yeah.

01:32:17.460 So he's wearing a suit.

01:32:19.360 Do you think they can't hear the beeps because they have a high pitched

01:32:22.080 hearing loss because they're all talking so loud in movie theaters.

01:32:25.140 They're like causing each other to become deaf.

01:32:30.120 It's because that's,

01:32:31.480 that's,

01:32:31.880 you know, 1.00

01:32:32.000 that's why black people listen to their fucking, 1.00

01:32:33.560 their phone calls on speakerphone in public. 1.00

01:32:35.500 Cause they can't hear it.

01:32:36.280 If you just put it up to your ear.

01:32:37.980 Yeah.

01:32:39.600 Could be it.

01:32:40.300 So bad.

01:32:43.720 Are we not,

01:32:45.280 are we not joking anymore?

01:32:46.440 It's three o'clock in the morning and I'm going to post this video on Twitter.

01:32:51.840 And if you get to see it,

01:32:52.740 you're lucky.

01:32:53.080 Cause I'm probably going to delete it really fast because it's really racist, 0.98

01:32:55.520 but I want to get the shit out of my chest because I can't take it no more. 0.99

01:32:58.420 But I need white people to really start being white supremacists again. 1.00

01:33:01.680 I need you guys to tap, 1.00

01:33:02.920 tap into that shit and do it again, 1.00

01:33:06.280 please. 1.00

01:33:06.540 Because this country is out of control.

01:33:08.660 I mean, 1.00

01:33:09.240 God damn. 1.00

01:33:10.120 We got little kids thinking that they could be fucking females. 1.00

01:33:13.120 And we got black people thinking they built America. 1.00

01:33:15.480 It's like every 10 seconds. 0.83

01:33:17.380 And honestly,

01:33:18.220 if you guys don't do anything about it,

01:33:20.300 your whole generation is going to be completely. 0.73

01:33:23.880 I mean,

01:33:24.300 come on now. 1.00

01:33:25.020 You guys are getting killed off right now. 1.00

01:33:26.840 And you guys, 1.00

01:33:27.280 it seems like you guys are okay with it.

01:33:29.020 Your woman's, 1.00

01:33:29.560 your woman are getting raped. 1.00

01:33:30.600 That's for sure. 1.00

01:33:31.880 By Muslims and blacks. 0.98

01:33:33.420 It's happening all the time. 0.99

01:33:34.700 You see it.

01:33:35.240 And if I say anything, 0.94

01:33:36.200 cause you can't say nothing bad about a Muslim or a black man. 1.00

01:33:39.020 Or you can let them rape. 1.00

01:33:39.800 Go ahead and let them rape. 1.00

01:33:40.700 But don't say anything about being racist. 1.00

01:33:42.220 Don't say that.

01:33:42.980 Right.

01:33:43.460 You guys need to stop it.

01:33:45.480 Okay.

01:33:46.140 I don't know. 1.00

01:33:47.080 I think Alex Jones was right about the whole gay shit. 1.00

01:33:51.560 Because white people used to be so strong. 1.00

01:33:53.680 And you guys now are literally letting a whole word.

01:33:56.340 A word.

01:33:57.080 Racism.

01:33:57.620 The word racism is killing your whole generation.

01:34:01.940 It is.

01:34:02.800 You're scared to be a racist. 1.00

01:34:04.480 You better be a racist. 0.99

01:34:05.580 Because if you're not, 1.00

01:34:07.840 this is going to kill you off. 0.99

01:34:09.460 Basically, 1.00

01:34:10.280 racism means the death of white people. 0.99

01:34:13.800 She makes some compelling points. 0.99

01:34:15.740 Let's be honest. 1.00

01:34:16.080 I asked that dumb bitch to keep telling me to be racist. 1.00

01:34:18.100 We should all be racist. 1.00

01:34:19.460 I have another theory that the high-pitched hearing loss is because they're around so many gunshots all the time.

01:34:25.780 They're tough for that.

01:34:26.820 Honestly,

01:34:27.180 when I shot that,

01:34:28.840 well,

01:34:29.240 when I allegedly shot a firearm at Top's house,

01:34:31.780 which didn't happen,

01:34:32.880 I did hear a ring for a couple hours.

01:34:34.800 Did you not put in hearing it?

01:34:37.740 Okay.

01:34:38.340 No,

01:34:38.640 I didn't put any protection in.

01:34:39.760 I just fired it off.

01:34:41.340 I like how that video,

01:34:44.260 unfortunately,

01:34:46.160 I was pissed.

01:34:46.560 That video is just like,

01:34:47.740 it's confirming me as a racist.

01:34:49.840 Like,

01:34:50.180 she is telling me to be a racist.

01:34:53.260 And then,

01:34:53.580 every time the chirp goes off,

01:34:55.580 I become more racist.

01:34:56.840 And she's telling me,

01:34:57.620 as the video goes on,

01:34:58.520 you got to be more racist.

01:35:00.480 And another chirp. 0.95

01:35:01.460 Yeah.

01:35:01.860 And then I'm more racist.

01:35:03.660 I'm like,

01:35:03.900 you can't make me more.

01:35:05.040 That's like the,

01:35:05.860 that's the Tony Robbins of,

01:35:07.780 you know,

01:35:08.220 race advocacy right there.

01:35:09.960 She's just like,

01:35:11.200 she's like,

01:35:11.760 I'm going to be the thing you hate and tell you to hate me.

01:35:14.360 Like, 0.82

01:35:14.520 incredible.

01:35:16.320 It's not really hate.

01:35:17.460 It's just like,

01:35:18.040 she's like,

01:35:18.640 every time it beeps and she doesn't react,

01:35:21.300 you're reinforcing this stereotype,

01:35:23.400 like,

01:35:24.080 among many that I have for black people.

01:35:26.320 I don't know.

01:35:27.100 Does that make me racist?

01:35:28.760 Well,

01:35:29.000 of course.

01:35:29.520 I mean,

01:35:29.660 but that's,

01:35:30.100 I mean, 0.96

01:35:30.220 you are racist, 0.97

01:35:30.740 but all right. 0.92

01:35:31.220 So I had an incredible idea during this video.

01:35:34.220 Are you guys ready?

01:35:35.120 Yeah.

01:35:35.340 Strap in.

01:35:36.120 All right.

01:35:36.740 We take,

01:35:37.560 we take some of Obama's most famous speeches.

01:35:40.660 We edit in a beep every 15 seconds.

01:35:44.640 And we just post it from tower game and we just keep doing it until people notice.

01:35:47.920 And it becomes a thing.

01:35:48.780 Just like the Dylan Dennis thing.

01:35:50.280 We just continue to post.

01:35:51.520 We post MLK juniors.

01:35:53.260 I have a dream speech.

01:35:55.220 Famous black speeches. 0.62

01:35:56.540 Yeah,

01:35:56.660 we do.

01:35:57.100 Yeah.

01:35:57.300 Like Jesse Jackson.

01:35:58.700 Tell me, 1.00

01:35:59.360 tell me that's not genius shit. 1.00

01:36:00.920 Let's fucking go, 1.00

01:36:01.800 dude. 1.00

01:36:02.220 Do Malcolm X.

01:36:03.380 And it's such low,

01:36:04.320 low lying fruit.

01:36:05.360 It's so easy.

01:36:06.460 All you got to do is we don't point it out.

01:36:08.900 We don't comment on it.

01:36:09.980 We just post videos of famous black speeches with a beep in the background. 0.54

01:36:15.680 I like it.

01:36:16.540 I like it.

01:36:16.980 I'm going to go through.

01:36:18.440 Until the ADL writes a piece about it.

01:36:21.400 I'm going to upload all of Hotep Jesus' like catalog.

01:36:24.800 Like he does like a two hour show every Thursday and just intermittent beep every 15 seconds.

01:36:29.720 We should do it during Maj Shere's Reno speech.

01:36:34.000 Oh my God.

01:36:34.560 You should just start.

01:36:37.000 We should act like we're boosting him and be like,

01:36:40.260 oh,

01:36:40.360 look at this cool clip from Hotep.

01:36:41.940 And like little clips,

01:36:42.560 but then throw the beeps in there just subtly.

01:36:44.460 But don't even press it.

01:36:45.380 You know,

01:36:46.320 Coach Denny.

01:36:47.500 We are who they thought they were.

01:36:49.080 Beep.

01:36:49.740 We talk about practice.

01:36:51.380 Beep.

01:36:52.280 Yeah.

01:36:52.520 I was just going to say,

01:36:53.220 we do it during all these,

01:36:54.740 yeah,

01:36:55.080 like sports post-game interviews.

01:36:56.900 Like Roy Hibbert saying no homo. 1.00

01:37:00.700 Like motherfucker was penetrating the lane. 1.00

01:37:02.740 No homo. 1.00

01:37:03.520 Beep. 0.92

01:37:04.300 All right.

01:37:04.940 All right,

01:37:05.260 audience.

01:37:05.780 You have your project.

01:37:07.280 Send us videos of famous black moments in media with beeps behind it.

01:37:12.560 And we will post it from the Tower Gang main account.

01:37:15.080 It's going to be,

01:37:15.760 it's going to be one of the greatest trolls of all time.

01:37:18.180 I love it.

01:37:18.980 I honestly think that the ADL,

01:37:21.180 like this,

01:37:21.800 this will be a culture moving event.

01:37:23.900 There will be,

01:37:24.400 there will be rip offs.

01:37:25.680 You'll start to see other accounts doing it.

01:37:27.400 I want you to know that Clint from Tower Gang came up with it first.

01:37:31.400 It's going to be a big thing.

01:37:32.620 Wait for it.

01:37:33.840 I'm on it.

01:37:34.460 Thank you.

01:37:34.840 Conspiracy extremists.

01:37:35.780 It's going to make things so confusing.

01:37:37.920 Like,

01:37:38.060 like honestly,

01:37:39.460 I wish that we could do like a filter throughout all of Twitter.

01:37:43.200 Every,

01:37:43.660 every black Twitter video,

01:37:45.060 whether it has a beep or it doesn't,

01:37:46.680 I wish we could just automatically put it in.

01:37:48.300 Like if I,

01:37:48.720 if I own this platform,

01:37:50.380 I would,

01:37:50.820 I would,

01:37:51.300 I would just,

01:37:53.380 every 15 seconds.

01:37:54.800 And it wouldn't matter.

01:37:56.220 Nobody would know.

01:37:57.080 It would just be a crazy stereotype. 0.94

01:37:58.920 Black people would never hear it. 1.00

01:38:00.660 White people would be going crazy. 1.00

01:38:02.500 This is the, 0.97

01:38:02.900 this is the way we win.

01:38:04.140 I think,

01:38:04.640 yo,

01:38:04.800 this is the way we win.

01:38:05.460 Just find trending black Twitter videos like at the moment and then just put your take in there,

01:38:09.660 but then add the beep video like with the clip.

01:38:12.080 Yo,

01:38:12.300 I can't,

01:38:12.660 I can't think of any like trials that have been,

01:38:16.320 Oh,

01:38:17.120 OJ,

01:38:17.760 OJ,

01:38:18.260 OJ taking the glove or trying to put the glove on and he's just like,

01:38:20.980 it doesn't fit.

01:38:21.820 And just with the beep in the background, 0.99

01:38:23.260 that shit would be fucking funny, 1.00

01:38:24.920 dog. 1.00

01:38:25.080 And Johnny,

01:38:25.600 Johnny,

01:38:25.860 Johnny,

01:38:26.460 Johnny Cochran going, 0.96

01:38:28.160 it's ridiculous. 0.97

01:38:29.080 Beep. 0.99

01:38:29.380 It's ludicrous. 0.97

01:38:30.340 Beep. 0.98

01:38:31.860 Yo, 1.00

01:38:34.260 this shit is going to be fucking huge. 1.00

01:38:36.200 I can see it already, 1.00

01:38:37.500 dude.

01:38:39.060 See,

01:38:39.580 this is why we don't end the show early,

01:38:41.360 Jose,

01:38:41.700 because I wouldn't have had this idea otherwise.

01:38:43.980 Yeah.

01:38:44.220 All right.

01:38:44.940 We do a best beep contest.

01:38:46.760 There we go.

01:38:47.580 Best beep,

01:38:48.140 baby.

01:38:48.860 I like it better than the cocktober,

01:38:50.600 but everybody, 1.00

01:38:51.600 keep sending the dick. 1.00

01:38:54.580 Joe Brown episodes. 1.00

01:38:55.660 Maybe turn it into a,

01:38:57.000 uh,

01:38:57.340 a boober.

01:38:58.540 I don't know.

01:38:59.700 What if we,

01:39:00.580 what if we just uploaded,

01:39:02.180 what if we uploaded episodes of the Cosby show?

01:39:05.060 Cause you could just do that on Twitter.

01:39:06.360 You can just like 22 minute episode of the Cosby show,

01:39:08.660 except it's edited with the beep.

01:39:10.980 Every,

01:39:11.480 every 15 seconds.

01:39:12.560 Yeah.

01:39:12.680 Do it with the Cosby show.

01:39:13.720 No,

01:39:13.880 but only,

01:39:14.460 only when they're in the house.

01:39:16.040 when,

01:39:16.340 if they go outside,

01:39:17.560 it stops.

01:39:21.020 It would take a level.

01:39:22.180 It would take a level of production that I don't think anyone would do, 0.77

01:39:24.620 but it'd be so fucking funny. 0.85

01:39:25.960 Do it with family matters. 0.95

01:39:27.640 The Jeffersons,

01:39:29.020 the Jeffersons do it. 0.52

01:39:30.340 Do it,

01:39:30.820 do it with,

01:39:31.400 uh,

01:39:31.700 fresh prints of Bob.

01:39:33.920 Uh,

01:39:34.120 but you know,

01:39:34.560 but any light skinned black dude walks in the house and he goes like,

01:39:36.960 you hear some?

01:39:37.580 And then they go,

01:39:38.280 no.

01:39:38.480 And he goes,

01:39:38.960 you're right.

01:39:43.280 He was just,

01:39:44.200 he was almost normal.

01:39:46.360 Almost.

01:39:47.180 He was so close to hearing it,

01:39:48.560 but he still couldn't. 1.00

01:39:49.820 Holy fuck. 1.00

01:39:50.640 Sanford sons. 1.00

01:39:55.160 Yeah.

01:39:55.400 That'd be perfect for a beep.

01:39:57.180 Different strokes.

01:39:57.900 Literally any,

01:39:59.100 anything on BET.

01:40:00.600 Like you remember that old show they had their knockoff of TRL where they played like the

01:40:04.460 black top 10 that,

01:40:06.580 but like at just when they're in the big studio and they're like,

01:40:08.820 Oh,

01:40:09.000 everyone clap.

01:40:09.680 Oh,

01:40:09.920 one Oh six in park.

01:40:12.140 Yeah.

01:40:13.060 It's wild enough.

01:40:14.360 Just put it,

01:40:14.820 put it wherever. 1.00

01:40:15.600 Just put a fucking beep. 1.00

01:40:16.700 Anytime you see a black person, 1.00

01:40:18.660 just, 1.00

01:40:19.040 just a fucking chirp. 0.99

01:40:20.160 This is, 1.00

01:40:20.620 this has got to be a movement. 1.00

01:40:21.500 We have to do this until black people lose their shit either until they notice or until 1.00

01:40:27.660 like we start a race war. 1.00

01:40:29.560 I think,

01:40:30.120 I think,

01:40:30.520 I think,

01:40:31.100 I think like,

01:40:32.600 honestly, 0.94

01:40:33.040 like we could have like black Israelites hunting us down for having originated this 0.97

01:40:37.200 idea. 0.99

01:40:37.640 Black,

01:40:38.220 black, 1.00

01:40:38.740 black people will never notice because they won't be able to hear the beeps in the 1.00

01:40:41.920 video. 0.98

01:40:42.500 I also,

01:40:43.100 that's the best part.

01:40:45.320 I also like the big,

01:40:47.140 why are they posting all these?

01:40:48.720 We've referenced a few times.

01:40:50.160 It's a video that we're not going to play here.

01:40:51.840 Cause someone literally gets murdered,

01:40:53.020 but you know,

01:40:54.180 the,

01:40:54.800 it was like a violent, 1.00

01:40:55.620 like gang looking type shit. 0.99

01:40:57.440 And then there was a beep in the background. 0.99

01:40:58.720 I think there's,

01:40:59.800 there's a market there to find just horrible,

01:41:02.300 like gang violence and just put like beeps in the back.

01:41:05.040 Like,

01:41:05.280 I think that's hilarious.

01:41:05.880 Dude,

01:41:06.000 we got to do it in like,

01:41:07.000 uh,

01:41:07.280 like gangster rap music videos too.

01:41:09.800 Yeah.

01:41:10.440 Yeah.

01:41:10.660 Throw some of that in.

01:41:12.000 The latest Twitter,

01:41:13.080 uh,

01:41:13.600 you know,

01:41:13.840 meme trend.

01:41:15.060 Be back.

01:41:16.220 All right.

01:41:16.780 I,

01:41:17.160 uh,

01:41:17.320 I am, 0.82

01:41:17.820 I am so fucking pumped for the next week.

01:41:19.860 Cause I know I'm going to see a bunch of these videos now and I'm just, 0.51

01:41:22.240 it's going to make me so happy every time I'd be like, 0.98

01:41:24.300 I fucking did this. 1.00

01:41:25.660 This is fucking, 1.00

01:41:26.500 I made this happen. 1.00

01:41:27.300 It's going to be so funny.

01:41:28.360 Honestly, 0.98

01:41:28.680 if someone doesn't do fucking Martin Luther King's, 0.99

01:41:31.140 I have a dream. 0.99

01:41:31.660 I'm going to be so disappointed. 0.97

01:41:32.680 Cause I think that'll be one of the funniest fucking things anyone's ever done ever. 0.97

01:41:36.580 So yeah, 0.98

01:41:37.220 we got it.

01:41:37.920 Yeah.

01:41:38.120 Guys,

01:41:38.360 look,

01:41:38.560 if you look,

01:41:39.380 if you're trying to do this,

01:41:41.040 if you're trying to do this,

01:41:42.020 if you want to get the,

01:41:43.100 the chirp sound for it, 0.98

01:41:44.540 you just go fucking go on the play store and go to chirp. 0.99

01:41:47.740 It's under black. 1.00

01:41:48.880 It's under the black play store there.

01:41:50.660 And you can just get that in intermittent chirp every 15 seconds.

01:41:54.040 You could set it up 15,

01:41:55.020 20 seconds,

01:41:55.580 whatever.

01:41:56.060 However they got,

01:41:56.740 if you pay for the paid version of the app,

01:41:58.500 I think it allows different,

01:42:00.460 different versions of it.

01:42:01.760 George Floyd video.

01:42:03.680 Oh my God.

01:42:05.120 If you want to,

01:42:07.240 if you want to really,

01:42:08.260 if you want to really get written up by the ADL,

01:42:10.560 I'll do it with the George Floyd video.

01:42:12.580 All you do is put a beep in it.

01:42:15.120 That's it.

01:42:17.720 He goes,

01:42:18.540 mama.

01:42:20.680 Yeah.

01:42:21.260 But the thing,

01:42:21.940 the thing is though,

01:42:22.880 if the,

01:42:23.220 if the beep was actually happening,

01:42:24.520 Chauvin would have heard it and like stopped.

01:42:26.180 He would have been like, 1.00

01:42:26.580 what the fuck's that? 0.99

01:42:27.520 George Floyd, 1.00

01:42:28.180 George Floyd would have been saved by the beep.

01:42:30.280 The greatest thing is you can post it and just put a dead serious.

01:42:33.960 Like,

01:42:34.300 I can't believe they let this happen to this man.

01:42:36.960 However many years.

01:42:37.720 Nine minutes.

01:42:38.320 It's like a dead serious one.

01:42:39.640 Nine minutes of beeps.

01:42:39.940 Yeah.

01:42:40.520 Yeah.

01:42:40.960 Yo,

01:42:41.180 Clint,

01:42:41.360 how many beeps is that?

01:42:42.680 Just be like,

01:42:43.200 this is the third anniversary of his death,

01:42:44.820 even though it's not.

01:42:45.740 So like,

01:42:46.300 so people watch it and then they go, 1.00

01:42:48.360 oh shit. 1.00

01:42:48.980 Like, 1.00

01:42:49.200 what the fuck is this? 1.00

01:42:50.220 Was it, 0.99

01:42:50.560 why is there a beep in the background?

01:42:52.040 Yo, 0.99

01:42:52.240 that's fucking genius. 1.00

01:42:53.120 Yo, 1.00

01:42:53.400 can you believe that he kneeled on his neck for like 200 beeps?

01:42:56.400 200 beeps.

01:42:58.580 Incredible.

01:43:00.280 There should be a limit.

01:43:03.240 Like three,

01:43:03.580 four beep.

01:43:03.900 You got to get off that brother.

01:43:07.060 300.

01:43:07.560 300 is excessive.

01:43:09.080 I mean,

01:43:09.320 even as children,

01:43:09.940 we only play to like 30,

01:43:11.120 40 beep.

01:43:12.000 We don't play like that.

01:43:14.100 Dude,

01:43:14.500 you could,

01:43:14.780 you could do,

01:43:15.340 you could do like African,

01:43:17.780 African tribes that haven't been contacted in the,

01:43:20.520 in the Amazon,

01:43:21.000 but then throw a beep behind the video of them. 0.99

01:43:23.020 Like that shit would be so funny. 0.99

01:43:25.920 There's no electronics. 0.99

01:43:27.180 There's no electronics around at all,

01:43:28.980 but they still have the beep.

01:43:30.540 There's a dead smoke detector.

01:43:32.140 That's just like pushed in the,

01:43:33.360 in the mud of their ceiling.

01:43:34.820 In the mud hut.

01:43:37.340 Should,

01:43:37.880 uh,

01:43:38.160 you should take,

01:43:40.560 take,

01:43:40.860 take a bunch of like,

01:43:42.240 take a bunch of like,

01:43:46.200 like flammable.

01:43:49.060 It's made of water and dirt.

01:43:50.880 I think you're good,

01:43:51.720 bro.

01:43:52.020 Take a bunch of like jazz music and throw some beeps in there too,

01:43:55.280 but nobody would notice.

01:43:56.560 Cause I just think it was part of it.

01:43:58.440 This is the most dangerous idea we've ever had.

01:44:00.800 I'm so excited.

01:44:02.120 It really is.

01:44:03.120 It's so it's a verse.

01:44:04.800 It's one of those things where like they say,

01:44:06.980 um,

01:44:07.920 well,

01:44:08.140 like you'll never know if the girl that the girls that you're seeing online,

01:44:11.360 the naked girls, 1.00

01:44:11.980 if they're real or AI, 0.99

01:44:13.260 this is what's going to happen to all black videos.

01:44:16.500 Like we will not know if the chirp existed or if it was put in,

01:44:19.640 but every, 0.99

01:44:20.180 everyone will say probably this is fucked up. 1.00

01:44:24.100 This is fucked up. 1.00

01:44:25.280 It's good. 0.99

01:44:25.700 And honestly,

01:44:26.240 there will be some black people that watch it.

01:44:28.980 If it becomes as big of a meme trend as I imagine that there will be black 1.00

01:44:32.960 people that there will be black people that hear about this trend and

01:44:36.980 they'll go and they'll watch the videos and they will not hear the beep.

01:44:40.400 It's,

01:44:40.800 it's going to happen.

01:44:41.820 And I can't even tell you how funny that is to me.

01:44:44.760 All right.

01:44:45.400 Um,

01:44:45.640 imagine I'm going to get out of here. 0.97

01:44:46.660 All of black Twitter, 0.99

01:44:47.860 all of black Twitter is just like, 0.97

01:44:49.040 yo, 0.98

01:44:49.140 all these crackers keep posting all of our greatest speeches.

01:44:51.900 I don't understand why.

01:44:53.400 We're doing them a favor though.

01:44:54.540 Once,

01:44:55.000 if one of them catches on and they start digging deep into the lore and they

01:44:58.500 start to realize that all they need in their life is beep regulation to be

01:45:02.360 able to regulate their beep intake,

01:45:03.880 I think it could change their lives.

01:45:05.480 You know,

01:45:05.820 you know what the, 0.98

01:45:07.040 the fucking side effect knock on potential of this is that if this takes off 0.98

01:45:11.420 and if it becomes known that towering, 0.99

01:45:14.560 gang is responsible,

01:45:15.540 there is a distinct possibility that we get flooded with black Twitter in 0.99

01:45:20.020 our,

01:45:20.260 in our,

01:45:20.680 uh,

01:45:20.940 in our viewership.

01:45:21.700 And that's what I've been praying for.

01:45:23.580 The greatest thing that has ever happened in the history of the universe.

01:45:27.140 Oh my God.

01:45:27.860 I'm so excited.

01:45:28.560 All right. 1.00

01:45:29.200 Fuck. 1.00

01:45:29.720 All right. 1.00

01:45:30.000 Hey,

01:45:30.160 Oh,

01:45:30.340 Oh,

01:45:30.580 I wanted to tell everybody that's watching,

01:45:32.320 uh,

01:45:32.740 my interview with Dr.

01:45:33.600 Shiva dropped today. 1.00

01:45:34.640 This dude is out of his fucking mind. 1.00

01:45:37.040 Dr. 1.00

01:45:37.440 Shiva.

01:45:37.680 Oh yeah.

01:45:38.980 I've met him.

01:45:40.520 Hell yeah.

01:45:41.300 I've been telling you for like two years,

01:45:44.560 bro,

01:45:44.760 to get this guy on.

01:45:46.040 And this guy, 0.99

01:45:46.700 I'm on this guy's fucking wild. 1.00

01:45:48.680 This guy is fucking wild. 1.00

01:45:49.920 He, 1.00

01:45:50.180 he calls Vivek Ramaswamy a piece of shit and a scumbag. 1.00

01:45:53.100 And he just goes ballistic, 1.00

01:45:54.780 dude goes ballistic.

01:45:55.760 So it is airing.

01:45:56.780 It is premiering right now.

01:45:57.980 Literally just dropped a minute ago.

01:45:59.580 Uh,

01:46:00.380 and beyond that,

01:46:01.480 uh,

01:46:01.880 check me out Liberty Lockdown.

01:46:03.460 And,

01:46:03.860 uh,

01:46:04.160 we are change.

01:46:04.900 We are having on Sargon of a cod live in studio on Sunday night. 0.99

01:46:09.360 Enjoy.

01:46:09.680 Yeah.

01:46:10.520 Yeah.

01:46:10.800 Uh,

01:46:11.120 Jose Gali San,

01:46:12.320 uh,

01:46:12.520 the no way Jose show fine on YouTube.

01:46:14.780 I'll make your odd book.

01:46:15.460 It's your odyssey and rumble.

01:46:17.360 Really pushing the rumble.

01:46:18.460 Uh,

01:46:18.820 I've been covering a lot of RFK stuff recently.

01:46:20.600 For those aren't aware,

01:46:21.500 there was what looked like a possible,

01:46:23.420 maybe an assassination attempt recently.

01:46:24.940 That was pretty weird.

01:46:25.680 I just covered that on my YouTube channel.

01:46:27.540 Uh,

01:46:27.900 but yeah,

01:46:28.140 go check out my show.

01:46:29.240 Uh,

01:46:29.480 follow me on Twitter at tower gang Jose.

01:46:32.380 Top lobster.

01:46:33.420 Um,

01:46:33.920 I just hit 18.9,000.

01:46:36.120 So,

01:46:36.820 uh,

01:46:37.280 I'll be getting to 19,000,

01:46:38.420 which is pretty cool.

01:46:39.360 I don't belong anywhere near that.

01:46:40.800 So thank you guys for following me.

01:46:42.640 If you don't go ahead,

01:46:43.460 check it out.

01:46:44.380 Um,

01:46:45.120 merch engine.com.

01:46:46.080 If you're going to be at Skank Fest next week,

01:46:47.920 I'll be there the whole,

01:46:49.960 the whole time from Thursday to Sunday.

01:46:51.900 So come by the merch booth and say,

01:46:53.540 what's up?

01:46:54.780 Oh yeah.

01:46:55.260 Thank you.

01:46:55.680 Oh yeah.

01:46:57.320 Tower gang toad,

01:46:58.440 uh, 1.00

01:46:59.180 send me tits. 1.00

01:47:00.100 So I don't have to gouge my eyes out. 0.99

01:47:01.980 Cause do not follow the tower gang pod on rumble odyssey.

01:47:06.340 If it's even up anymore,

01:47:07.520 uh,

01:47:07.820 YouTube,

01:47:08.420 uh,

01:47:08.900 Spotify,

01:47:09.460 subscribe to the locals,

01:47:10.820 tower gang.locals.com.

01:47:12.240 I am also the host of better off dead.

01:47:14.700 I am doing football shows tonight,

01:47:16.900 probably in a few hours.

01:47:18.840 So I'm going to be dropping late night gold.

01:47:22.120 I think that's it.

01:47:24.240 Hugs and kisses.

01:47:25.080 That's it guys.

01:47:26.360 Leave a comment.

01:47:27.320 It's been Wednesday.

01:47:28.240 Hit the like button. 1.00

01:47:29.260 Share your shit. 1.00

01:47:29.880 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:47:30.640 And put behind videos,

01:47:32.320 bruh.

01:47:33.060 It's been Wednesday.

01:47:33.800 It's been real.

01:47:34.520 We love you all.

01:47:35.280 We'll see you in a week or maybe sooner.

01:47:37.040 If we decide to do it again,

01:47:38.520 peace out. 0.98

01:47:39.020 It's the tower power hour slut. 1.00

01:47:41.260 It's the tower power hour bitch. 1.00

01:47:42.960 No way, 0.99

01:47:43.500 Jose.

01:47:44.420 Liberty lockdown. 1.00

01:47:45.260 Welcome to the tower power hour bitch. 1.00

01:47:48.100 Reed. 1.00

01:47:50.720 Cole.

01:47:51.200 Top Lobster and toad.

01:47:54.440 Yeah.

01:47:55.080 Tower gang,

01:47:55.600 tower gang,

01:47:56.100 tower gang,

01:47:56.600 tower gang,

01:47:57.080 tower gang.

01:47:57.480 Tower gang,

01:47:58.160 tower gang,

01:47:58.640 tower gang,

01:47:59.160 tower gang.

01:47:59.220 Liberty lock is truth say.

01:48:01.040 Same with lobster,

01:48:02.160 Cole and Jose.

01:48:03.640 Toad is sick.

01:48:04.440 No way,

01:48:05.020 Jose. 0.98

01:48:05.260 It's the tower power hour slut. 1.00

01:48:07.100 They made days of it all his. 0.99

01:48:08.660 Tower gang,

01:48:09.140 tower gang,

01:48:09.660 tower gang,

01:48:10.140 tower gang.

01:48:11.120 Tower gang,

01:48:11.640 tower gang,

01:48:12.100 tower gang,

01:48:12.500 tower gang,

01:48:13.040 tower gang,

01:48:13.460 tower gang,

01:48:13.960 tower gang.

01:48:15.080 They speak courage.

01:48:16.100 You sped,

01:48:16.500 bed more than Rogan.

01:48:18.140 You fed,

01:48:18.780 you fed.

01:48:19.080 Truth,

01:48:19.420 Bob,

01:48:19.620 Quether,

01:48:20.120 Tim Cass,

01:48:20.640 Ho-Tep, 1.00

01:48:21.080 Ho-Tep. 1.00

01:48:21.600 More offensive,

01:48:22.660 LOL,

01:48:23.120 No disrespect.

01:48:24.540 More offensive than LOL,

01:48:25.720 No disrespect.

01:48:27.020 Tower gang,

01:48:27.760 Tower gang,

01:48:28.800 Tower gang,

01:48:29.380 Tower gang.

01:48:30.080 They made days of it all his fame.

01:48:32.160 Tower gang,

01:48:32.700 Tower gang,

01:48:33.640 Tower gang.

01:48:34.140 Taber gang, taber gang, taber gang 0.97

01:48:36.900 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all that 0.97

Tower Gang - September 21, 2023

Ep 143 - Scrumdiddlyumptious

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript