Tower Gang - September 28, 2023Ep 144 - The Plight of the Beep
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 59 minutes
Words per minute
212.55994
Harmful content
Misogyny
261
sentences flagged
Toxicity
1,667
sentences flagged
Hate speech
211
sentences flagged
Summary
Toad, Jose, Cole, and Toplops are back with a new episode of Tower Gang, and it's a doosey one. We talk about a lot of things, but the main topic of discussion this week is Cole's new relationship with his ex-wife, Liz.
Transcript
00:00:17.000
So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's...
1.00
00:00:22.000
You wanna kill me or you wanna give me a bone? I don't know.
1.00
00:00:25.000
When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.
1.00
00:00:31.000
Have you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like...
0.99
00:00:36.000
The three of you had a threesome of some kind.
1.00
00:00:47.000
He was a 10 in real life. She's like a dead 8.
0.93
00:00:53.000
Donald Trump, you come on Tower Gang. That is why.
00:01:18.000
It's 925 because Toad started and stopped the stream and I apologize to all our fans that probably aren't even in here yet.
00:01:25.000
But thank you for finding us once you finally straggle your way in here.
00:01:30.000
It was like I'm finally having sex, basically.
0.98
00:01:33.000
Top left we got Toad, the man who is our producer and is not getting paid for at least two and a half years because of his mistake this evening.
00:01:43.000
We got Fat Comic Dave, AKA Cole, who is always in the gym.
00:01:47.000
And then bottom right we got Top Lops, the host of TopLops.com.
00:01:53.000
Yeah, it's like the Top Lobster show but we're calling it the Nephilim Death Squad.
00:02:03.000
I didn't know if you started a new show or what.
00:02:10.000
Or is this like maybe we're a show, maybe we're not.
00:02:13.000
Did you see his dick last week and you decided that you wanted to partner up with him?
0.99
00:02:16.000
Me and Raven are just feeling each other out a little bit here.
0.99
00:02:20.000
We're not sure if you want to really come up.
0.99
00:02:22.000
I felt him out with my fucking back of my throat last week.
1.00
00:02:30.000
Just so that he would have like basically like he doesn't want to be blackmailed by his dick being out there.
1.00
00:02:36.000
Do you take his podcast show name or do you take his podcast show name?
0.99
00:02:42.000
I have to send Raven my dick because he sent me his?
0.99
00:02:45.000
Has that ever happened yet where two podcasters that have different shows got married and then had to choose between their podcasts?
0.99
00:02:54.000
I mean, I know it's gonna happen like it's just that is bound to like to be a problem in our future society.
00:03:02.000
Why can't they just both continue their own podcast?
00:03:06.000
Yeah, you don't know anything about marriage.
1.00
00:03:07.000
You don't know anything about women or pussy.
1.00
00:03:09.000
I can't believe you would even think that.
1.00
00:03:11.000
When Liz finally divorces Cole, she's gonna she's gonna take him for half a tower gang or half of his share of tower gang.
1.00
00:03:19.000
She's gonna own one-tenth of tower gang or something like that.
1.00
00:03:24.000
Oh my god, we'll have to get Cole's whore ex-wife for the final deciding vote to oust him out of the corporation.
1.00
00:03:47.000
Just kidding. I don't think you're a whore.
1.00
00:03:48.000
I mean in this situation, you're his ex-wife.
1.00
00:03:51.000
And so now you're a whore because I don't like you anymore because you're no longer my friend's wife.
1.00
00:03:57.000
Anytime anyone breaks up with another woman that she immediately becomes a whore at that exact moment.
1.00
00:04:03.000
Even if it's the guy who cheated, she's still a whore.
1.00
00:04:08.000
If Clint was out there just putting his dick in every piece of snatch he could find, they're all whores.
1.00
00:04:17.000
That is my dog barking for no goddamn fucking reason.
0.99
00:04:22.000
He like scratched to come in my room and now he's just barking at the TV in here.
1.00
00:04:33.000
I'm getting all fucking roided out and raged up.
0.97
00:04:41.000
I need my balls to be like drained and it's not happening.
0.99
00:04:46.000
Speaking of balls, I got to see toads this week.
0.99
00:04:53.000
I feel like we have to open with the most, you know, the hottest breaking news.
00:04:58.000
Solid contender for sweetest dick competition.
1.00
00:05:15.000
I have it cropped right above the dick if you want to show it.
0.96
00:05:24.000
Can we put it through one of those anime filters?
00:05:35.000
Is that his dick does look exactly like his actual head.
1.00
00:05:39.000
If you look at him, it is almost a one for one.
00:05:53.000
Yeah, you smacked it around a little bit, right?
00:06:08.000
I didn't pull and look at my dick, but I knew-
1.00
00:06:10.000
Like, where my dick was at at that moment.
1.00
00:06:21.000
Like, just kinda felt my dick, and I was like,
1.00
00:06:23.000
My dick right now isn't as long as his dick right now.
1.00
00:06:33.000
Just as Raven was immediately post-beat, so was Toad.
1.00
00:06:38.000
No one sends a fucking dick pic unless they're immediately post-beat.
1.00
00:06:55.000
It was like, you could see the shiny skin on it.
1.00
00:06:57.000
It was like, I was like, oh, that shit's stretched out.
0.99
00:07:02.000
It was the light reflecting off of my bald dick.
1.00
00:07:09.000
Isn't it crazy that that incredible body has never been on top of a woman?
0.98
00:07:14.000
Can you take it down just for sanity and also the show's sake, just in case?
00:07:20.000
Clint, it may have been on top of a woman.
0.98
00:07:24.000
I was like, your sister, you've been on top of her multiple times probably.
00:07:39.000
Why is Jose taking this pathological liar's side?
00:07:41.000
I honestly didn't have a bummer in that I barely remember.
0.69
00:07:49.000
No one's dick is hard points straight down.
1.00
00:07:55.000
No, my dick curves like upward and kind of like to the left.
1.00
00:08:11.000
And he tried to play it off like we have a new submission.
00:08:20.000
I think we threw it out there like as a joke.
1.00
00:08:22.000
We were like, how about you show your dick?
1.00
00:08:33.000
So guys, again, people that are in this, whatever, this YouTube right here, they were wondering
0.97
00:08:42.000
If you're wondering, press one, two, three in the chat.
00:08:45.000
And then I pop on for a couple of seconds and say, oh, whatever.
00:08:50.000
In the group chat, Rayto's like, we're getting to it.
0.99
00:08:55.000
In the group chat, we decided to fuck with Toad again.
1.00
00:09:18.000
The funny thing about Toad is like, the autism is 100% real.
0.99
00:09:25.000
And like, it was so funny because I was, and the whole time I'm like fucking with him
0.99
00:09:29.000
because I know it's really like messing with his head.
0.97
00:09:31.000
Like he was just like, no, we, are we, he said, are we doing a Wednesday show or not?
00:09:45.000
I, I, I was like, they're, they're kicking me off the show.
00:09:50.000
He was, he was like, yeah, he thought this was going to be a whole new thing that he,
00:10:00.000
Uh, he was like, I'm a co-founder of this show.
0.99
00:10:08.000
He was like, that's what, why is top taking over the show?
00:10:13.000
He said, he said that you show lack of commitment and shit like that.
0.99
00:10:20.000
He said, he says, he says, I'm the only one with the backbone to stand up to top.
00:10:25.000
And then I, and then I said, while we're all, we're all like conspiring together.
1.00
00:10:35.000
And then I sent you motherfuckers my dick just to lay it down.
1.00
00:10:38.000
I just threw my dick right on the, no, that's not why you sent it.
1.00
00:10:49.000
I created a, a, a whole show for yesterday, just to fuck with Toad, a whole stream.
0.95
00:10:55.000
So Toad could see, we had never had plans to do this.
0.94
00:11:03.000
Where he's just, he's like, I'm walking through the streets in Boston.
1.00
00:11:05.000
I just yelled at a hooker, like saying crazy shit.
0.99
00:11:08.000
Like you gotta say, by the way, Toad left our chat and I want to, this was one of the
1.00
00:11:18.000
And so what had happened is, and this will, we'll tell you, Dave Smith's coming back on
00:11:28.000
Well, actually I think I like, it was like, you know what, it'd be funny to add this in
00:11:32.000
So I was like, you know, I want to message Dave.
00:11:37.000
And then I sent the, the, the, like a screenshot, like showing I messaged him or whatever.
00:11:41.000
And I was like, you know, or something like that.
00:11:43.000
And I was like, Hey, Dave, you know, we should have him on soon or whatever.
00:11:50.000
We were, we were saying Dave was on with us yesterday.
00:11:52.000
There was a one little bit, like another little, like the piece of hay that broke the
00:12:02.000
And then I said in the other group chat, the talk behind it was like, I should tell
00:12:08.000
I was like, I didn't even need to tell him that he was coming on.
00:12:09.000
We were like, we should have him on on Tuesday night.
00:12:13.000
I lied because I was on vacation with my family.
00:12:16.000
I couldn't even made it, but I just like, was going along and being like, Oh no, I'm getting
00:12:20.000
We're going to, you know, I'll totally go and make it.
00:12:27.000
That's what's so, that's what's so remarkable about you is like, it doesn't matter how many times
0.99
00:12:43.000
Like it's such a silly thing to get upset about.
0.87
00:12:46.000
And we're just like, and every time he runs fake.
00:12:53.000
We pump fake and he is sprinting full speed.
0.99
00:12:59.000
I don't have, I don't have any electricity in my house right now.
00:13:07.000
I do not have enough melanin to not hear that shit.
1.00
00:13:17.000
Yo, that was a loud motherfucking beep dog.
0.99
00:13:23.000
I don't think he knows what we're talking about.
00:13:30.000
It could have been, it could have been, it could have been Cole's dog though.
0.98
00:13:34.000
Dude, that video, that video that you cut in for our intro was so fucking good, dude.
0.85
00:13:37.000
He's like, it was like in between a, a scream and a boop.
0.96
00:13:45.000
It's just because like, I'll scroll like, and I sent y'all a video of it.
00:13:49.000
Um, like anytime I see a black person video of a, just like them out.
1.00
00:13:53.000
It literally is every time if they're at their house, it's beeping.
0.51
00:13:58.000
Every there was, it doesn't matter the, um, the wealth level or anything.
0.99
00:14:01.000
Like there was, it was essential one and it was this guy.
00:14:05.000
So he brought it and it was like a nice house and it was like a nice looking black girl.
1.00
00:14:09.000
And the dude sounded like a, it was her birthday and he wrapped her shit.
0.99
00:14:19.000
So he put it in fucking an actual gift wrapping.
0.97
00:14:21.000
Like it was, and you hear a beep in the background.
0.99
00:14:25.000
Right when they opened the door, you hear beep.
00:14:27.000
And then like, like 30 seconds and you hear another beep.
0.99
00:14:35.000
It's just the fucking videos you see, but it is, it's a funny racist trope.
0.98
00:14:39.000
I don't, it's almost, I dude, I've seen so many videos and it's every one that I've seen.
00:14:43.000
By the way, reach is expanded is what it is.
0.95
00:14:47.000
We actually, we actually plotted this shit, which is really cool.
0.94
00:14:51.000
Cause I feel like every month or so we're doing something viral.
0.99
00:15:02.000
Someone, someone's got a beep in their motherfucking house.
1.00
00:15:07.000
I'm going to, I'm going to fire whoever it is.
1.00
00:15:15.000
Jose looks like, you know, Jose can't reach the, he can't reach the fire alarms.
00:15:19.000
But the funny thing is I've actually had periods in my life where I have struggled with the beep.
00:15:24.000
But like, I'm not at that current period of time in my life.
00:15:27.000
So I can sympathize with the plight of the beep.
00:15:34.000
That needs to be an autobiography of some fucking, like the plight of the beep.
0.99
00:15:40.000
It's, it's, it sounds like a, it sounds like a composition by Rimsky Korsakoff.
0.97
00:15:44.000
Top, top, top, play, play this video so you can explain the, what we did.
0.99
00:15:50.000
So I, I, uh, I just want to say this real quick.
0.99
00:15:56.000
Ain't no fucking way in the world y'all can vote for Donald Trump when he come back up
0.99
00:16:00.000
If it is, if y'all do vote for him, y'all such stupid motherfuckers.
1.00
00:16:31.000
And someone's, someone's running a bit or they became black.
1.00
00:16:40.000
I'm going to leave for like 10 minutes or whatever.
00:16:42.000
However, but if it's someone fuck with you, it's just going to resume when you get back.
0.99
00:16:48.000
So if it keeps going with like, all right, I'm leaving for like two minutes and then let me
00:16:53.000
because then no, because then I can't, I can't put any audio in.
00:17:06.000
He's going to be gone for about full five beep.
00:17:29.000
Are we going to do the gravelly thing all the time while he reads it?
00:17:34.000
You know, it feels good chanting with you guys.
00:17:37.000
Phil dog says, uh, Jesus, I can't even read it.
00:18:03.000
Because I was, I was thinking, I was like, oh, maybe Top's running it from behind.
0.98
00:18:10.000
Dude, it is not me unless, I, I've had issues with a carbon, uh, monoxide detector.
00:18:18.000
You have your headphones on, so you're not hearing it, so it could be totally in your
1.00
00:18:31.000
This is what Liz do, and this is really good if she did.
0.98
00:18:33.000
She, she was like, just curled up on the couch.
0.99
00:18:35.000
What did she get, like, go and take the fucking thing out of the-
1.00
00:18:37.000
She probably, you probably use the phone, the beep on her phone.
0.99
00:18:45.000
Dude, this is, uh, this is, this is like the beep bluff.
00:18:48.000
Like, somebody is intentionally doing it, and everybody's saying they're not.
00:18:54.000
Whoever's doing this to us is killing me right now.
00:19:01.000
Phil Dogg says Elon Musk's long game with SpaceX is to event-
00:19:11.000
Alright, is Elon's long game to show us space is fake and we can't go to the
1.00
00:19:23.000
It destroys the creed and it's race-related, so, I mean-
0.98
00:19:30.000
What if, what if, what if a black dude's hiding under one of our beds and that's why
1.00
00:19:36.000
Dude, a black guy tried to break into my house.
0.99
00:19:41.000
Holy shit, a black dude's fucking Elizabeth right now.
1.00
00:19:53.000
Eric July is giving Cole's wife the business right now.
1.00
00:20:07.000
Yo, I can't believe that a black dude is in one of our houses right now.
1.00
00:20:15.000
Phil Dog asks if Elon Musk's SpaceX long game is to eventually prove that space is fake.
00:20:21.000
Let's go to our resident Flat Earth specialist, Top.
00:20:47.000
Basically, is Elon Musk long game for space instead?
00:21:28.000
Yo, if it's Toad, there's not even a possibility of it being a prank.
0.66
00:21:33.000
He just has a black dude that's living with him now.
00:21:55.000
You are banished to behind the scenes producer.
1.00
00:22:19.000
On my son's grave, it is not a fucking bit.
0.98
00:22:22.000
The fucked up part is we can't see each other's mutes because we took it off.
0.93
00:22:25.000
So they literally could just see someone who lied along the way.
0.93
00:22:39.000
It's only been happening for 20 minutes and I'm already ready to commit a felony or go
1.00
00:22:55.000
There's some higher power here because this is not planned at all.
00:23:00.000
Wait, is somebody gaslighting Toad out of us and didn't inform the rest of us?
00:23:05.000
If anyone was going to do it, it would have been Top and Top actually left the stream.
00:23:14.000
Alright Toad, can you at least do us a favor and go away for a bit and be behind scenes
00:23:22.000
Although the problem is if it's someone fuck with you, they could just stop.
0.99
00:23:29.000
You think I want to leave the show because coincidentally I have a smoke detector going
00:23:36.000
Don't check your smoke detectors right now.
1.00
00:23:42.000
Because it seems like it's beeping every minute or something.
00:23:47.000
Is Elon trying to prove that space is gay?
0.82
00:23:53.000
Is Elon trying to prove that space is gay?
1.00
00:23:58.000
Because if it is gay, he's already sent shit up there.
1.00
00:24:02.000
Like he could have proved it already if it's gay.
1.00
00:24:16.000
If you're fucking with him, that's amazing.
1.00
00:24:33.000
This kind of fucked me because I literally was planning this on you.
0.99
00:24:35.000
Because I was like, I bet you we could hit up Top's mom or his wife...
0.99
00:24:40.000
That's why I was like, oh, y'all did it already.
0.99
00:25:01.000
What if just the battery just died right before we started just coincidentally?
00:25:16.000
What's crazy is like he's legitimately too short to do anything about it and he probably
00:25:20.000
doesn't have enough upper body strength to even like raise his arms to change it.
00:25:28.000
He's got old lady knobs that spins him from the...
1.00
00:25:35.000
Don't come back yet because I'm setting something up.
0.98
00:25:53.000
We could have been talking for minutes and then it beeps.
00:25:55.000
Or we could have been talking for 13 seconds and then it beeps again.
00:26:02.000
It was happening every 45 seconds or something.
0.99
00:26:05.000
I want to make sure the audience understands.
0.99
00:26:18.000
He would go under it and then if he got caught...
00:26:32.000
I have a smoke detector in this room and two like behind me like out in that hall there.
00:26:37.000
None of them beeped that entire time I was gone.
00:26:44.000
There were no beeps in my house while I was gone.
00:26:57.000
Guys, what's happened is he's already tuned it out.
00:27:00.000
This was going on for a week now and he's already tuned it out.
00:27:05.000
Oh shit, it's my small percentage North African.
0.99
00:27:21.000
I pressed his keyboard, so maybe it's a keyboard.
00:27:28.000
I've only heard it when I've had my headphones on.
00:27:38.000
Mark Vestibule, fuck this guy, says Toad is clearly not a software engineer or whatever
0.99
00:27:52.000
His inability to use some of the most basic and intuitive features on his computer when
00:27:58.000
Top could use a computer to do more than just make art.
00:28:02.000
I love how Toad is trying to say it quicker than the beep hit.
00:28:05.000
Cole could use his engineering skills to fix his car, toilet, etc.
00:28:09.000
Well, to do anything despite being a software engineer because that's not his job.
00:28:15.000
That's why he has no basic computer skills to carry over to everyday life.
1.00
00:28:18.000
Mark Vestibule, suck my scrumdiddly umptious cock is all I have to say to you, sir.
1.00
00:28:26.000
He was giving you an out and you're going to tell him to suck your dick?
1.00
00:28:29.000
I feel like someone's fucking with someone.
1.00
00:28:32.000
I'm a pretty skilled one and I don't know how to use Instagram.
00:28:48.000
I don't know if I want to end the bit yet because I really like it.
00:28:51.000
Someone is doing a bit and I know who it is and I think it's really fucking funny and
00:29:10.000
Because it's great and I want to be able to do the show because for the next hour because
00:29:18.000
if this keeps going on, I'm not going to be able to do it.
0.97
00:29:46.000
Alright, so what it was is if y'all go to Brand and then scroll down, there's something
00:29:57.000
It's a background music that's every 30 seconds.
1.00
00:30:12.000
This is what I wanted to do, but I fucking love this show so much that I'm like, I'm coming
1.00
00:30:19.000
And that's what started the whole insanity that made Toad send his dick.
1.00
00:31:00.000
This is how good Top Lobster is at what he does.
00:31:03.000
We were conspiring to do this to Top, and he did it to us before we could do it.
00:31:09.000
Do you know how fucking incredible that is?
1.00
00:31:14.000
And this is why I said, we record when Big Jay Oakerson says we do, and Top Lobster is
00:31:27.000
And I was just like, he's gotta be turning this thing on and off.
00:31:31.000
And then I was like, is there a background music you can do?
00:31:40.000
I was looking through the brand stuff, and I was like, yeah, Moon Crickets, that makes
0.97
00:31:47.000
What should have been the signal that he was doing it was that when he left the stream
00:31:52.000
to prove it wasn't him, because he didn't have to do that.
00:31:54.000
The rest of us all muted, but he left the stream.
00:32:08.000
He could leave it playing while the stream was going, holy shit.
1.00
00:32:20.000
Let someone else that liked the dick go first.
1.00
00:32:25.000
I mean, it's no bells, no whistles, no frills.
1.00
00:32:38.000
I will say, Raven, Swans, Crow, whatever, way better.
00:32:44.000
He has one of the best dicks I've ever seen.
1.00
00:32:45.000
Like that tentacle dick, whereas Toad's like, that's a dick, dog.
1.00
00:32:57.000
Toad did also send another picture, unwarranted, that he also didn't have to send, of him touching
0.99
00:33:02.000
his dick to his belly button, which is still also refuting that.
0.99
00:33:08.000
Well, okay, to be fair, if you do this move and you kind of pinch, you could do it soft
00:33:20.000
I will give Toad's dick like a solid, like just how Jose said, I'm going to give it like
1.00
00:33:43.000
I'd say it's an appetizer to Raven's dung.
0.91
00:33:47.000
Like I want some calamari before I eat like a full like fish.
00:33:52.000
Like I just want something, you know, that I can just handle.
00:33:56.000
Like it's enough to fill you up, but it won't make you stuffed.
00:34:03.000
Like I was down here on expectations just because of all the shit he's been telling us.
0.99
00:34:09.000
Oh, I assumed his dick was going to be a disaster.
1.00
00:34:11.000
When I was three, I jerk off 32 times a day, you know.
1.00
00:34:24.000
If you subscribe to the locals at a $25 a month level.
00:34:44.000
I was expecting some sort of weird like lumps.
0.99
00:34:52.000
I thought it was going to be super tiny and like three inches straight to the left.
00:35:04.000
I was expecting a bend to like left and then right at the end he goes boop and it boops
00:35:12.000
I expected like a U-turn but you thought it would be like a fucking broken arrow.
0.99
00:35:33.000
I didn't realize after looking at his little...
00:35:47.000
Well, it's weird that my body fits the description of both of the nukes that were dropped on his
00:36:24.000
He's like, yo, yo, you want to fight Ryan Dawson?
00:36:52.000
After he sent his dick, I did demand that he send the belly button picture.
1.00
00:37:06.000
Toad keeps fucking bragging about his belly button dick.
1.00
00:37:13.000
If I stand straight up, that's like an extra fucking three inches that drags my belly button.
0.98
00:37:29.000
I want you to stand the fuck up and do it.
0.98
00:37:40.000
The thing is, Clint just doesn't want to believe the reality of the situation.
1.00
00:37:45.000
Dude, your dick when it was fucking down and hard is like not close to your fucking bibit, bro.
1.00
00:37:50.000
You ain't stretching that thing to your fucking belly button unless you fucking hunt.
1.00
00:37:54.000
What the fuck are you talking about as bibit?
1.00
00:37:58.000
Yo, a bibit's a cute thing for a fucking belly button.
1.00
00:38:08.000
Oh, I thought you were like something you put in a belly button.
1.00
00:38:10.000
I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
1.00
00:38:13.000
Oh, I was thinking you were talking about that woman who cut her husband's dick off.
1.00
00:38:30.000
You know it's not small because an Asian pediatrician was very impressed by it.
00:38:41.000
Because I got the notification and I was like, I don't know.
00:38:45.000
And I just immediately closed it and burst out laughing.
00:39:00.000
I thought about the psychology behind him sending it and only Clint responding saying,
1.00
00:39:08.000
Two hours later, nobody responded to Toad.
1.00
00:39:11.000
So I was like, imagine, imagine sending a dick pic to like, just to your homies and
1.00
00:39:15.000
then there's like dead silence for two hours.
0.99
00:39:20.000
It was, it was, it was, it was moon crickets even when he stopped.
00:39:34.000
And then I, then when it finally did start people's.
0.99
00:39:36.000
And so I clicked on it and I'm in the gym and all of a sudden there's Toad's dick.
0.98
00:39:39.000
I'm in the middle of the gym and it happened like three times.
1.00
00:39:56.000
On Clint's phone in the gallery, there's a picture of Toad with his hard dick.
1.00
00:39:59.000
And then another picture right next to it of just Toad's hard dick.
1.00
00:40:16.000
Dude, your dick has fucking crinkles in it when it's not hard.
1.00
00:40:21.000
Crinkles on the upswing, whereas Ravens looked like it was coming down.
1.00
00:40:25.000
But they were both still at like, probably 50 to 70% hardness.
00:40:34.000
I've fucking, I've put 50 of them in my face before.
1.00
00:40:44.000
Looking at it, how many inches did that look?
1.00
00:41:00.000
I just pull it the fuck off and it touches my belly button.
0.99
00:41:08.000
Your wiener can't even sniff your bibit, homeboy.
0.91
00:41:11.000
I'm trying to find, I'm trying to score up and see the picture now to make sure it wasn't
0.70
00:41:22.000
I do have the cropped picture of just his dick in my phone.
0.98
00:41:25.000
And every time I've sent a tweet today, it pops up and I'm like, I just want to attach
0.99
00:41:39.000
I have this lengthy rant about the government and it's just like, toad's dick.
0.99
00:41:47.000
Just whenever you say anything anti-government, just throw my dick on it.
0.99
00:41:50.000
I think that that's really funny that you could show...
1.00
00:41:53.000
Technically, we could show Joe Rogan your dick.
1.00
00:42:06.000
And then later, be like, oh shit, I took a nap.
0.94
00:42:23.000
But no, for real though, Clint, that is like, not kidding.
00:42:27.000
I mean, it doesn't even have to be his dick.
1.00
00:42:29.000
That would be a good way to like, just make...
1.00
00:42:42.000
That's from the three-year-old circumcision.
0.99
00:42:52.000
Is someone going to send a new dick for me?
1.00
00:43:13.000
I have a thirst for dick and I'm getting parched.
1.00
00:43:26.000
If you fucking submit your dick, there's a really good chance that we will send it to
1.00
00:43:30.000
So you better fucking send your dicks right away.
1.00
00:43:35.000
You're going to have to beat Toad or Raven to get your dick shown to Dave Smith because
1.00
00:43:43.000
So right now, Toad's going up against Raven and if Toad loses, his dick's going to be
0.99
00:43:49.000
And we're not going to be able to talk to him anymore.
00:43:56.000
You exceed expectations, but not well-exceed expectations.
0.99
00:44:09.000
Proportionally, my girth is better, I think.
0.98
00:44:18.000
Like, Toad, you wouldn't even understand how big my balls are.
1.00
00:44:22.000
You'd just sit staring at your phone confused as a motherfucker.
1.00
00:44:30.000
Yeah, his dick is kind of thin, but it's not.
1.00
00:44:37.000
I wanted to bring up help anyways because I wanted to talk about the thing
00:44:40.000
that was making Toad also autism out in our chat.
00:44:44.000
Real quick, I'll let you finish, but I want to remind people what there is to win with
0.99
00:44:50.000
We are offering an interview if you're willing to dick-dox yourself, but you're winning the
1.00
00:44:55.000
We're literally congratulating you on having a sweet dick.
1.00
00:44:57.000
And I believe Top has agreed something along the lines of doing a drawing.
0.99
00:45:08.000
And on the shirt it will say, Tower Gang Scrumdiddlyumptious Dick of the Year.
00:45:16.000
And then we'll be able to show an artistic rendering of your dick on the show as well.
0.99
00:45:20.000
So we can bring you on, discuss the dick, and look at it in its animated glory.
0.99
00:45:26.000
I do have one thing to add that wasn't in the dick pics we've gotten so far.
0.98
00:45:31.000
Hold something up that we can use as reference.
00:45:36.000
Like in Toad's case, he could have used a AA battery to prevent the alarm from going off.
00:45:55.000
I want to talk about this political compass thing because it's been coming up.
0.99
00:46:01.000
How you guys tried to ruin my motherfucking career this morning?
0.99
00:46:13.000
Oh, that is such a fucking crazy statement, Doug.
0.99
00:46:18.000
That light brown solidarity is not coming in right now.
00:46:21.000
The problem here is that the expectation was so low.
0.99
00:46:26.000
We're all sitting here almost complimenting Toad's dick.
0.99
00:46:37.000
I think that that dick could create an orgasm for a woman.
1.00
00:46:42.000
And I never would have thought I could have said that.
1.00
00:46:48.000
Yeah, that's what I was saying when I said that.
00:46:55.000
I was like, dude, you got a dick that could probably get an orgasm going for a chick.
1.00
00:47:16.000
You have a fucking totally functional dick, it appears.
1.00
00:47:21.000
It doesn't even sniff your belly line, motherfucker.
1.00
00:47:24.000
The body's all fucked up, and then the head on top of it's kind of weird looking.
0.99
00:47:29.000
Yeah, I mean, you got like Fat Man Little Boy, but then you got a dick.
1.00
00:47:34.000
You guys are saying my best physical attribute is my dick.
1.00
00:47:41.000
Like, the only thing about you that's not just totally disgusting is your dick.
1.00
00:47:45.000
The best part of Toad is his dick, and he doesn't use it.
1.00
00:48:07.000
I think, honest to God, I think if you saw a dude's butthole in front of you, you just-
0.99
00:48:15.000
My dick is like a sword in the stone, man.
1.00
00:48:16.000
Like, I need the right woman to actually pull it out.
1.00
00:48:20.000
According to these rules, where we're doing one versus one, winner moves on to the next one,
0.99
00:48:26.000
part of me also wants to vote Toad because I want to show Dave Smith Toad's dick and I
0.99
00:48:33.000
That's three weeks of having to bend over backwards with mental gymnastics to keep his dick in the running.
1.00
00:48:42.000
Toad's dick is passed through to the finals automatically, as far as I'm concerned.
1.00
00:48:46.000
Even though it doesn't sniff his bibit, but I still think it goes to the finals.
1.00
00:48:58.000
Your dick doesn't sniff the bibit, but it's still a fucking thing.
1.00
00:49:08.000
I literally, standing here just a second ago, I brought it to my belly button, bent over,
00:49:14.000
easy, cleared it, like leaped some bounds over, stood up, not even close to my belly button.
00:49:31.000
And be like, oh, yeah, and just honorable mention, here you go.
00:49:35.000
We've already rated this, but just for your pleasure.
0.99
00:49:37.000
Hey, let's just nix the competition and just send Toad's dick to Dave Smith.
0.99
00:49:46.000
This actually would be a great troll to fuck with him.
1.00
00:49:49.000
Be like, all right, this is the cream of the crop.
1.00
00:49:51.000
This is the best dicks we've gotten so far.
0.97
00:49:56.000
And then show that one first just to fuck with him.
1.00
00:50:08.000
He was like, Dave, this is what you have to go up against.
1.00
00:50:11.000
You just have to give us your dick so we can see it.
1.00
00:50:14.000
And then he just throws down his fucking hammer.
1.00
00:50:16.000
If you imagine telling Dave Smith you've got to beat this dick.
1.00
00:50:46.000
If your dick showed up on the Joe Rogan experience?
1.00
00:50:49.000
That would be the kind of troll that would show up there.
1.00
00:50:57.000
Pull up this little, like, amphibian's dick.
1.00
00:51:01.000
He was like a tortoise or whatever his name is.
00:51:19.000
The only people who would know that would be in on the joke would be the fucking fans.
0.99
00:51:23.000
By the way, we would not put your face in it.
1.00
00:51:50.000
I like the chart because you freaked out about it.
00:52:09.000
Technically, you and Luke were in the smart side.
00:52:22.000
He's like the next evolution or two of me.
0.99
00:52:28.000
Like, you know, everyone's like, who's this dumb motherfucker?
1.00
00:52:30.000
And then he says some shit, and you're like, oh, okay, I guess he does know some shit.
1.00
00:52:44.000
It originated with our show ones, and then someone started doing those.
00:52:58.000
I mean, it made me giggle, but I don't really care to fucking talk about it on the show.
0.66
00:53:27.000
What's funny is, like, this guy, I don't think he knows who we are at all.
00:53:41.000
I'm saying he knows who you are, but not through like-
00:53:50.000
I do want to just say, like, I think he got it right on, like, the third time around,
0.99
00:54:06.000
He literally does the Jose effect, where it's like, he sounds retarded, but then sometimes
0.99
00:54:11.000
I say shit and be like, oh shit, this guy actually reads some stuff and knows some things?
0.99
00:54:27.000
I mean, this is tower gang, though, so in a way, don't we, like, all sound dumb, but
0.92
00:54:45.000
Sounds smart is dumb, and he was very upset about this.
0.97
00:54:54.000
I sound dumb, but I'm not, is what I'm saying.
0.97
00:54:55.000
And they had Jose in the Luke Rakowski of sounds dumb is smart, and he was like, I should
0.97
00:55:04.000
And then the funniest part is whenever Toad gets, like this is like his defense mechanism,
00:55:11.000
It happens with both betting, it happens with like intellectual sides.
00:55:21.000
And I go, Toad, I have the same credentials as you have.
1.00
00:55:22.000
He goes, I was a valedictorian in my high school, you fucking idiot, you ingrates.
1.00
00:55:25.000
I was in all advanced classes in my junior and senior year.
1.00
00:55:29.000
I go, Toad, I have the same credentials as you.
00:55:34.000
Real quick, I do have to say, in reference to the last chart we were just on, Toad makes
00:55:40.000
sense for the bottom right in the same way that Tim Pool makes sense for the bottom right.
00:55:45.000
I actually think Tim Pool is a very smart guy, but I do think he's, in a lot of ways,
00:55:54.000
And I don't, honestly, I'll be honest, I don't think he's great at political philosophy,
00:55:59.000
But yeah, so in the same way that Toad might be in the bottom right is in the same way that
00:56:04.000
someone could put Tim or put, yeah, Tim on there.
0.98
00:56:07.000
Well, I think I'm like academically smart and I have like good recall and shit, but I'm stupid
0.99
00:56:13.000
Yeah, like when you talk, when you talk, it just makes me angry.
00:56:16.000
It doesn't make me feel like I'm being educated.
00:56:21.000
But like, if they cleaned up the genetics a little.
00:56:26.000
Come to think about it, you kind of do look like, like Tim Pool.
00:56:30.000
Yeah, he puts on a B&A, he'll stress you out a little bit.
00:56:39.000
I played a moderately attractive human being and that way you could get through that hurdle
00:56:43.000
and then you could like weaponize your autism with that, you know?
00:56:54.000
And honestly, I think he posted another one and I think it's even, it's the most accurate
00:56:58.000
is that it switches Top with Toad and it puts where Top is at now with Clint.
00:57:06.000
And I was like, I think that's the fucking best.
0.85
00:57:08.000
It's because like, at that point it gets all of us...
0.95
00:57:15.000
Cole, why are you not even defending yourself that you sound dumb or dumb?
0.99
00:57:24.000
Yeah, I'm okay with being put in the top and I'm also okay with being sound smart is dumb.
0.95
00:57:32.000
I think this one is the most accurate and like, because Toad is completely...
00:57:36.000
I don't know, average isn't correct, but like he...
0.98
00:57:43.000
It's just aesthetically pleasing because he's got his hands up perfectly like this in the middle
00:57:47.000
and it's just like, that's where he should be, you know?
0.98
00:57:49.000
This is where my dick should be too, so it all makes sense.
1.00
00:58:08.000
I'm a weird conundrum because I am really short, but I'm also really thick.
00:58:12.000
But then I feel like my voice isn't like a very masculine voice either.
00:58:28.000
Like, if we could just put the dicks in little squares like this here.
0.98
00:58:38.000
But like, is big and then looks big are two different things.
00:58:46.000
And have Toad put the dicks anywhere on this chart that he thinks that that goes.
0.95
00:59:00.000
The iPhone shit was so fucking funny to me.
1.00
00:59:05.000
Do you want to start with the one we saw first or start with the actual beginning of the story?
00:59:22.000
The only time Cole does deep dives is when he sees a viral racist story.
00:59:26.000
And he's like, I got to get to the bottom of this.
00:59:29.000
Also, I do want to celebrate that we saw the year anniversary of the time that the Indians went against the blacks on Twitter about George Floyd.
00:59:39.000
And it was still one of the best moments ever in Twitter history.
00:59:52.000
It's like the best in the way that Joe Rogan is the biggest podcast.
00:59:58.000
Like, in the way that we are, like, the largest militarized nation.
01:00:02.000
Yeah, it's like us, and then, like, tens of millions of people, and then, like, the next one.
01:00:12.000
The Indians versus the blacks was my favorite World Series.
1.00
01:00:17.000
We should just DM Dave Smith from the Tower Gang account with Toad's dick and just say,
0.98
01:00:34.000
Yo, that was the most insulting part about Toad sending it in the DM, is that he, like,
1.00
01:00:37.000
kind of coyishly pretended like it wasn't his, and is like, nigga, I know that's your dick.
1.00
01:00:42.000
Like, that's obviously your fucking little fat man little boy body.
1.00
01:00:55.000
Just send your dick and be proud about it.
1.00
01:00:56.000
I wanted it to include your face so I could fucking dick dox you to 100,000 people.
1.00
01:01:09.000
Whatever, but it's better than anyone would have expected.
01:01:32.000
That's basically what 90% of the show has been for the past year, so...
01:01:38.000
Because I'm competitive and I wanted to compete against Raven.
01:01:44.000
You knew your dick didn't compete with Raven.
1.00
01:01:54.000
This is how much of a fucking delusional lunatic this guy is.
1.00
01:02:00.000
He's trying to cook the books for the dick bits.
0.99
01:02:10.000
Dude, I bet all my money on the Baltimore Raven, man.
0.99
01:02:14.000
It's like, whenever a girl is like, I don't really want to fuck you, and he's like,
0.99
01:02:23.000
I guarantee you that Lainey blows Toad's dick out of the water.
1.00
01:02:28.000
I have four of my closest male friends tell me in confidence that that was a nice, solid
0.99
01:02:40.000
Ask not what you can do for the gang, but what your dick can do for...
1.00
01:02:47.000
Because I'm from Boston, and I will send my penis to the moon, and this, that, and the
1.00
01:02:58.000
I feel like he was trying to establish dominance over us.
01:03:03.000
Actually, it is gonna work because Clint absolutely refused to send his dick.
1.00
01:03:11.000
So, technically, Toad did fucking mog you on this.
0.98
01:03:19.000
I genuinely find it sad you would not send your friends a bitch to your dick.
1.00
01:03:23.000
And it made me cry a little inside when I told you this.
01:03:26.000
And you said, I've never sent one to my friends.
01:03:33.000
You've never had a close female friend, and you're like, haha, that was my dick.
1.00
01:03:40.000
I want that award, man, right next to, like, High School Perfect Attendance, and whatever, and,
1.00
01:03:44.000
Chess Club Winner, whatever I have, and then it's most scrumdedly umptious penis.
0.99
01:04:17.000
I just say it's definitely better than Toad's.
0.99
01:04:18.000
But because Toad has sent it, we have to go with the one that is the objective truth
01:04:24.000
Look, you're not going to fucking mind fuck me into sending my dick to you guys.
1.00
01:04:30.000
I'm not sending the picture of my dick to you.
1.00
01:04:33.000
Cole's using reverse psychology to get clint to show his dick.
1.00
01:04:38.000
He talks a big dick game, but I ain't seen no goddamn dick.
1.00
01:04:44.000
I'm not sending it to you, you fucking hummos.
1.00
01:04:54.000
Maybe that's why he got so defensive when we were talking about taking an inch off his
1.00
01:05:01.000
I hear you don't send dick pics to chicks, and I'm like, you know what?
0.99
01:05:06.000
When you're like, don't send them to your boys.
01:05:13.000
Imagine to cage up your inner child like that.
0.99
01:05:16.000
None of my guy friends have sent me their dicks either.
1.00
01:05:19.000
You're the first group of fucking guy friends that I've ever had that are just like, here's
1.00
01:05:26.000
My cousin's dick one time, I opened up the bathroom door, and my cousin, I swear to God,
1.00
01:05:33.000
But he was like, like a fucking bird, and he had his dick up like this, and he's shaving
1.00
01:05:40.000
And I was like, that was the first time I've seen his dick.
1.00
01:06:11.000
When you want to see your cousin shaving his testicles for no apparent reason while he's
0.99
01:06:15.000
perched up on his chair cacawing at you, you gotta use Nadeau.
0.99
01:06:27.000
When I want to mog the homies with a dick pic and throw that right down, I want to look
1.00
01:06:37.000
And then throw that dick pic right in the chair.
1.00
01:06:38.000
If you have a borderline average dick like Toad, you gotta use Nadeau.
1.00
01:06:46.000
What was sad is that Toad wasn't completely bald like one of Jose's cats.
01:06:52.000
I was hoping you'd pull down and it looked like Cornstar dick.
1.00
01:07:06.000
Because you didn't just take it and send it to us.
01:07:15.000
That's the one he sends to Poppy and all these other dumb bitches.
1.00
01:07:46.000
Can we please get into the black people stealing phones?
1.00
01:07:49.000
I used it the other day to shave my neck and it literally didn't feel...
01:07:53.000
We ran out of shaving cream and I was like, I gotta shave my neck.
01:07:57.000
So I used Nadeau and it literally didn't feel like a thing.
01:08:10.000
It's so weird that Josie just watched this for an hour while we talked about Toad's dick.
1.00
01:08:20.000
It was younger dick because I was younger in that picture.
0.97
01:08:23.000
My wife was asking me, she was like, what are you laughing about?
1.00
01:08:26.000
And I was like, Toad just sent us a picture of his dick.
1.00
01:08:35.000
She actually said no, but I was willing to show her.
01:08:46.000
Have you guys ever asked your chicks about back in their before days?
01:08:49.000
Oh, I always ask every girlfriend if I'm the biggest they've been with and they always
01:08:58.000
I asked my wife, I know you've probably gotten so many unsolicited dick pics in your
1.00
01:09:06.000
If that happened to me, there would be an album just to be funny.
01:09:11.000
And be like, look at all these dits of random people.
1.00
01:09:22.000
But do you keep all the nudes of all the girls that have sent them to you?
01:09:29.000
I had them for like half way through the marriage somewhere.
1.00
01:09:32.000
It's on like my Yahoo email or something like that from fucking 30 years ago.
0.99
01:09:36.000
Yeah, I think there's an old email that if I remember the password I probably...
01:09:45.000
This is what, because every time I hear like there's like a leak, they're like...
01:09:48.000
Like some guy will be like, they searched his emails and they found all this shit.
1.00
01:09:52.000
I'm like, who the fuck is sending like sex messages over email?
0.99
01:09:55.000
Oh, what I would do is I'd send them from my phone to my email to save them as a backup.
0.99
01:10:04.000
Before you put them up in the cloud, you had to save it to your Yahoo email.
01:10:11.000
Like back in the day, I got them from email and then on AIM.
01:10:18.000
Dude, Top, you look like a nigga that would have a sidekick for real.
1.00
01:10:22.000
Top is like a nigga that would have a sidekick.
1.00
01:10:24.000
Top the type of nigga that would have a sidekick for real, for real.
1.00
01:10:27.000
Yeah, but Top not the type of nigga that would have a Nextel.
1.00
01:10:30.000
You know it was like either sidekick or Nextel.
01:10:37.000
Speaking of old phones, how about these more modern phones here?
01:10:40.000
Yeah, let's get back to the thing we've been trying to do.
01:10:46.000
I'll let you finish Cole, but real quick, back to what we were written on.
1.00
01:10:52.000
And then this is the first thing I saw on this.
0.99
01:10:54.000
And I was just like, why the fuck are they just like, go play the video.
1.00
01:10:58.000
Do you know how dumb you have to be to try and fucking shut the people up?
1.00
01:11:04.000
And I want to go off working backwards to what actually happened.
01:11:28.000
So the best part is this like, like these iPhones going on.
01:11:32.000
And the first thing I thought I was like, what is going on?
01:11:34.000
Like, why are, like, are they just like for the one time they like set alarms for waking
01:11:39.000
Like, they're like, oh shit, people were actually working.
0.98
01:11:48.000
That black people had to be to work and they didn't know what an alarm was?
0.97
01:11:50.000
And they were like, ah, I gotta wake up on time.
0.65
01:11:56.000
See, I, I, I, I assumed that it was multiple things.
01:12:00.000
I assumed that they had just stolen them, but then that they were beeping and they had
01:12:04.000
to, like, I think I assumed like the correct story basically.
01:12:07.000
Then digging into it, I found out, okay, so what happened is there was a, a rash of
0.92
01:12:11.000
fucking, um, like, I, like Apple store break-ins, ceiling birds to pocket birds.
0.96
01:12:21.000
In Philadelphia, there was like a bunch of break-ins to Apple stores and they just stole
1.00
01:12:25.000
all the fucking, uh, like the floor, like the ones that you can just think of iPhones
0.99
01:12:38.000
Yo, this shit just peeping like, nah, it's not like, you, you, you walk around with a ceiling
0.99
01:12:51.000
That's the funniest part is that, like, so they, also, so they stole, like, and you can
01:12:56.000
play the other, you can play the other video, the one of, like, actually showing them, uh,
01:13:01.000
Dude, honest to God, this, this chick's narration is, like, as close as I've ever come to being
01:13:07.000
Dude, do you want to read, uh, crass and see in your video?
01:13:21.000
They're breaking into the store, the Apple store.
01:13:57.000
I know, I think they're saying got one as in the store.
01:14:21.000
So, what happens is, if you steal from an Apple store, they already prepared for this.
01:14:32.000
And they work off of Wi-Fi, so once they're off the Wi-Fi, or outside of the range of the
01:14:37.000
Wi-Fi, they immediately just shut down and do this thing where they just ring and, like,
0.74
01:14:41.000
fucking say, like, take me back to the store.
0.96
01:14:45.000
So, these fucking idiots thought they could just steal, like, the fucking ones that are just
1.00
01:14:52.000
The better part about this is, instead of taking them back, they just destroy them.
01:14:57.000
They just, like, literally, like, they just throw them on the ground, they pour orange juice
01:15:01.000
Or not even taking them back, just leaving them.
01:15:04.000
If you go back to the first video, they said throw them in the sewer.
01:15:13.000
One of the black dudes sprinting by goes, this is how they're tracking us, bro!
1.00
01:15:21.000
Plus, these fucking dumbasses are filming themselves, not only stealing, then destroying the property.
1.00
01:15:29.000
Well, they don't value property, but they understand being career criminals.
01:15:37.000
But then, because they're filming it, they have to smash the cameras that they're filming
01:15:45.000
They're all documenting their felonies, which I...
01:15:48.000
And it is a felony because each one of these are, like, $1,500.
01:15:53.000
They're over the minimum amount for, like, a misdemeanor or whatever it is.
0.99
01:15:56.000
I'll be honest, at risk of something like me, this is worse than January 6th.
01:16:02.000
I legitimately believe that this is worse than January 6th.
01:16:06.000
One of the funniest things is LPNH actually did...
01:16:10.000
But it was actually pretty funny that, like, they've tweeted this about, and they said,
01:16:15.000
None of these people's lives are worth as much as an iPhone.
01:16:19.000
I think they said that iPhones are worth more than these people, is what they said.
01:16:24.000
And then Ryan Lawrence, one of the fucking idiots, was like,
1.00
01:16:27.000
it's not your property, so why do you care?
1.00
01:16:32.000
Like, yes, if we just make this normal, like, that's just fine.
1.00
01:16:39.000
Like, you live in a civilization that just permits complete theft of whatever you want, whenever you want,
01:16:44.000
and you just break it on the ground, and you say,
01:16:56.000
So, about $1,500 for an iPhone or an iPad, depending on how big it is.
01:17:02.000
One of these black people, like, if you had them as a slave...
1.00
01:17:13.000
So, wait, we're talking about what their market worth is in the slave trade, right?
01:17:22.000
I think on an open-air slave market, I would probably pay more for the iPhone.
01:17:31.000
We're not thinking about, like, the black market for organs and kidneys and stuff.
01:17:38.000
Once you get into that type of stuff, yeah, it's gonna blow it.
1.00
01:17:52.000
Yeah, my body would reject any black organs.
0.98
01:17:57.000
You better accept the black dicks, you fucker.
1.00
01:18:10.000
And you know, the only black organ that I would potentially want to steal would be the dick, but we've established that I don't need that.
0.99
01:18:23.000
I was already trying to go there, and I was already trying to tell you that you should accept a black organ, and it should be the dick, and that's what you should accept.
1.00
01:18:35.000
Do you remember when we were on Elijah Toppin, uh, Clinton?
01:18:38.000
Do you remember when on Elijah Schaefer's show, and he did the whole Paris riots thing, and he called them, um...
01:18:44.000
It was so fucking fun, because there was another video, like, just like this, but he was like...
0.96
01:19:03.000
You just change the language a little bit, but it's always...
0.92
01:19:06.000
In fairness, during the Black Lives Matter riots, there was white people that were jacking shit
1.00
01:19:17.000
Instead of got one, they're just shouting, jay un, jay un.
01:19:23.000
One of the funny things I did see is in South Africa, there was a riot at a mall, and they
01:19:28.000
looted every mall store, except their one bookstore that was in the mall, was completely...
01:19:36.000
And it was just the bookstore was not looted.
0.97
01:19:39.000
Dude, unironically, if I was there in this scenario, pure chaos, everyone looting, and
0.93
01:19:44.000
I already have everything I need back in my house, I'm totally going to the bookstore.
01:19:49.000
Like, if you go to a bookstore, there are some nice...
1.00
01:19:57.000
But, like, there's something nice about, like, the physical bookstore, I'd just be perusing,
1.00
01:20:08.000
All these black dudes are just pillaging this fucking iPhone store at Jose's all by himself
1.00
01:20:14.000
in this big-ass Barnes & Noble, just like, la la la.
0.99
01:20:18.000
He's going over to the coffee shop and he's making himself a coffee so he can walk around
01:20:22.000
and drink coffee while he's, like, picking up books.
01:20:27.000
The black people outside with the phones, like...
1.00
01:20:33.000
He was like, these things don't beep, motherfuckers.
1.00
01:20:39.000
I also imagine, like, he's also still respectful about it, so he's still, like, he'll pull it out.
01:20:44.000
Instead, like, they just, like, you know, they'll just pull shit off and, like, not care.
0.83
01:20:48.000
He actually sees it, like, it's not in alphabetical order and he's like, oh, I gotta change this.
01:20:52.000
Hey, what if you have a really nice car and you just, like, you change the paint to look like text from books?
01:20:58.000
So, like, when you're in the hood, they just stay away from it?
01:21:01.000
Cole, did you say that if you won the Powerball, you would buy a pressure cooker?
01:21:11.000
Like, that's your concept of winning a lot of money?
01:21:16.000
I'm not saying that that's what I think is, like, I'm just saying, like, I just...
01:21:20.000
He's like, if I was a billionaire, I'd get a $50 home appliance.
01:21:29.000
It's just, like, I just, like, I don't see it as a necessary expense.
01:21:35.000
But if I'm a billionaire, I don't have to worry about any expense.
01:21:38.000
Yeah, I mean, that's actually rational thinking.
0.99
01:21:42.000
The problem is, that's why all, like, like, all the lottery winners go out.
01:21:53.000
It's like, it's my thinking of just, like, if I want it, I just get it then.
01:21:57.000
Like, so, I would be like, yeah, I want a NASCAR car just so I can just drive it
01:22:02.000
and just, like, have one just sitting out and like...
01:22:07.000
But no, your thinking isn't, like, what would get you poor.
01:22:11.000
Just like, I'd just get, you know, things that I'd like.
01:22:14.000
Like, I saw yesterday that someone said they had two dishwashers.
01:22:20.000
Like, so you can have sex with two at one time.
0.99
01:22:29.000
And what they said was they just, instead of actually putting your dishes away,
01:22:35.000
And so, like, one day you just pull them out of there, and then use it, put it in the
01:22:38.000
other one, wash, and then just use the ones, and just keep switching back and forth.
01:22:41.000
The only things that I want if I were to win the lottery, like, I have a decent amount of money,
0.97
01:22:45.000
but, like, the things that I would really get, though, would be an RV, like a fucking
0.97
01:22:55.000
And then a house on the ocean, probably somewhere in Florida, because I can't fuck with California
0.99
01:23:02.000
I feel like you can fuck with California once you're rich.
1.00
01:23:13.000
We're going to get a fucking hurricane every year, dude.
0.99
01:23:17.000
See, I feel like at a certain level of richness, you can fucking move back to California
1.00
01:23:24.000
and be like, it doesn't fucking matter anymore.
0.97
01:23:31.000
I just didn't want to live there anymore, because it was fucked up.
0.99
01:23:33.000
If you get locked down, it doesn't matter how fucking wealthy you are.
0.99
01:23:43.000
Yeah, but you still have the best place in the world to live at, like, just as in general,
01:23:46.000
like, just, like, the, how amazing looking, like, just, if you're caring about, like,
01:23:51.000
the, if you're wanting something on the water, you're wanting it because of how it looks
01:23:55.000
Not necessarily for all the fucking, like, you just want to be viable.
0.93
01:23:58.000
But you don't want to live there, so you don't want to live there.
0.96
01:24:01.000
Do you want to pull it back to the last minute of the city?
01:24:04.000
I don't even know what happens in this video, but the rest of it.
01:24:43.000
If you pour orange juice on it, it'll stop beeping.
01:24:52.400
The funny thing is they think it's just the Apple store,
01:24:54.960
so they just go on to the next one and do it again.
01:24:56.840
And it's like, if everyone was going on, maybe we'll go to the next one.
01:25:00.880
My favorite commentary on this today was Olivia Rondeau,
01:25:16.800
because I've been making crazy-ass jokes like Cole just made.
0.92
01:25:22.580
You guys are all overtly, brutally racist at this point.
0.93
01:25:30.400
We're just noticing that it's always them.
0.99
01:25:38.300
and then after a while they're like, this is uncomfortable
01:26:14.180
if Toad says anything, I'm going to believe it
1.00
01:26:17.420
I'm not going to believe a man who won't put his dick on the line.
0.99
01:26:29.960
Hey, why do you guys all scoff when I get a state-of-the-art RV?
01:26:36.180
like, this is just funny because it is the goals.
01:26:39.920
No, this is like someone who's already made money.
01:26:42.640
They're like, if I just came upon another large chunk of change,
01:26:48.940
Maybe a nice place in the mountains, you know, summer home.
01:27:08.000
Clint probably literally could probably pack, like, a large bag
1.00
01:27:12.580
but he needs an RV for some fucking reason.
0.99
01:27:14.300
The funny thing is, Clint could literally buy an RV right now.
0.99
01:27:28.880
but the reason he doesn't is because he's, like, very cheap.
01:27:31.860
Like, we were talking about the whole AI clip thing
01:27:39.220
Because we said that we would crowdsource the funding
0.97
01:27:49.000
I think he just knows he's not going to win the lotto,
1.00
01:27:52.640
But it's also that I want to do it, like, on my own terms.
01:27:55.900
I think he was coddled by his mother as a child,
01:28:23.960
My mommy's with her big old mommy milkers.
1.00
01:28:50.260
That's disturbing to not be able to use your mouth.
01:29:38.640
That's why he's always talking about breastfeeding.
1.00
01:29:43.800
Dude, you were breastfed till, like, eight, weren't you?
01:30:02.720
That's why I want the mummy milkers, though,
1.00
01:30:12.340
Hey, Toad, what do you want to fuck you on, though?
1.00
01:30:41.260
Toad, stop thinking about fucking your mom
1.00
01:31:46.340
One of the most famous black movies of all time
01:38:14.840
What's weird is her tits look like where she pulls it out from.
1.00
01:38:19.300
It's like she just has an eight-foot-long plank of tit.
1.00
01:38:35.180
Once they get your shirt mask, they just become long pancakes.
01:38:40.700
But it's weird because they look voluptuous, but they're not.
01:38:44.780
Here, scroll back to whenever she pulls it out because you can see it very well.
01:39:10.060
It looks like she could literally flip them up over her shoulder like a Continental Soldier
1.00
01:39:21.460
Here, go to when she goes to the second tip because her shirt is so large.
1.00
01:39:58.680
What does fat white bitch smell like, top?
1.00
01:40:02.520
They smell like if you've been standing inside a McDonald's for too long.
01:40:06.780
I don't know how you got that so quick, but that's exactly what they smell like.
0.97
01:40:11.240
I feel like, you know how black people complain that we smell like wet dog?
0.97
01:40:13.880
I feel like that's where they're getting it from.
1.00
01:40:17.440
Because they always fuck fat white bitches.
1.00
01:40:22.340
It's all the black bitches mad because they're fucking Andre over there playing fat white
1.00
01:40:32.040
So we know Butthead is number one of these three ladies, right?
1.00
01:40:34.900
You know how crazy it is that she has a severe cranial break in her head and we're like 100%
01:40:56.320
All the Tower Gang people in the chat, this is what you do.
1.00
01:40:58.280
You have a brand new baby, get a headband, a nice little Nike one, and then you get a
01:41:03.740
And you put the pencil right there on your kid's head, put the headband on, and just leave
01:41:11.000
So who are you choosing between the got this black lady and the-
1.00
01:41:21.100
I also have one more video, and it was the video I was talking about earlier about the
01:41:28.520
Don't say hi to someone that's amogging us.
1.00
01:41:38.060
You're obviously taking the white chick over the fat black chick, right?
1.00
01:42:07.740
I would fuck this chick over any of those three, though, probably.
1.00
01:42:12.280
Well, you're going to go with the chick that's known for cheating.
1.00
01:42:22.320
You been cheating on me with a dude named Hubert, I be damned.
1.00
01:42:26.920
I love that he's more upset that the dude's name was Hubert.
01:42:38.400
He was caught this bitch cheating with a Hubert.
1.00
01:42:52.220
Cheating Girl first, then Butthead, then Waterton.
1.00
01:42:57.960
If you're putting her number one, you're retarded.
1.00
01:43:22.320
You wouldn't do a threesome with a Butthead?
1.00
01:43:25.080
But a Butthead and a threesome is like a nine.
1.00
01:43:35.700
I listened to that Big J joke about this is not happening, about where he had the gangbang
01:43:44.400
She's a regular four, but she's a gangbang eight.
1.00
01:43:46.840
And I think the same thing happens with threesome.
01:43:48.600
She's like a threesome eight, but she's like a regular five.
1.00
01:43:55.000
If you are gangbanging a girl with multiple guys, she plummets in rating.
01:44:13.720
It drops her in the sense of if she's a four, but she does gangbangs, she is a two.
1.00
01:44:19.520
But in the girls that do actually get gangbanged, she could be an eight.
1.00
01:44:30.280
I didn't notice that that chick had a butthead at all until we played it the second time.
1.00
01:44:44.940
He's like, when I look at people's faces, I only look from here to here.
01:44:49.280
I mean, I don't look at the first time I saw it.
01:44:53.940
The first time I watched it, it did take me probably halfway to almost end the video
01:45:00.120
And then when I realized, I was kind of like, oh, not that big.
01:45:09.100
It's funny, but it's like, she's still very pretty, and it's really only like a mild deformity.
01:45:14.180
Yeah, do you want to know what I was actually thinking?
01:45:17.700
Like, a mild deformity is the fucking mole that Toad has on his shoulder.
0.99
01:45:25.220
What I expected was that she would spin, and she would be like at Auschwitz.
0.99
01:45:29.900
This is like when the Down Syndrome people see each other, and they don't see each other as down-
01:45:35.380
or an autistic person doesn't see another Down Syndrome person.
01:45:52.520
Dude, how crazy would that be if they were just like-
1.00
01:45:55.160
I don't want to go to school with all these buttheads, mom.
1.00
01:46:02.060
Wait, it was a really autistic guy dating a Down Syndrome girl.
1.00
01:46:08.740
Like, he didn't notice that she was Down Syndrome.
01:46:18.000
Star Trek character, though, on that, it honestly does kind of look like she's like some sort
01:46:32.720
I think it's some bland chicken and some broccoli for the white girl.
1.00
01:46:37.720
For the black girl, the fat black girl, you're probably getting like-
1.00
01:46:45.440
The cheater girlfriend, I don't think she cooks.
1.00
01:46:54.840
And that fat bitch makes some good food, you know.
1.00
01:46:58.300
What's fascinating about that video is that I can't-
1.00
01:47:02.360
Like, I would be so enraged, there's no way I could wrap her shit, you know?
0.99
01:47:06.420
Like, you would actually, like, be like, I'm gonna wrap-
1.00
01:47:08.700
Yo, this fucking bitch, when she get home, I swear to fucking God, bro.
1.00
01:47:14.040
There's two different levels of anger, because I think this is the level of anger of, like,
0.99
01:47:18.180
one where you just throw out, like, your girlfriend or your boyfriend cheats on you,
1.00
01:47:22.520
and you just throw their, like, shit out into the yard.
1.00
01:47:25.760
There's a second level of anger, where you're just like, fuck you, and you pack up their shit.
1.00
01:47:30.140
You're like, I'm so fucking done with you, I just want you out.
1.00
01:47:33.260
I don't want you to be on my lawn picking up your shit.
1.00
01:47:36.740
I think that's, like, a next level of anger.
1.00
01:47:40.060
He's like, I'm putting this bitch on blast on social media.
1.00
01:47:42.340
Yeah, he, like, folded it, wrapped it, and then filmed it.
0.99
01:47:48.840
You do it on her birthday, you put it in packaging like that?
01:47:52.600
I think he was really mad, though, because he should have let her open it.
01:47:56.520
Yeah, he was like, take your shit, get out of here.
1.00
01:48:09.420
He should have put, like, the gift tags on it, too.
1.00
01:48:14.620
If your girl was fucking another dude, what's the worst name you could think of?
1.00
01:48:31.780
I feel like, I feel like Butthead, I could palm her head.
1.00
01:48:35.440
Because she's got, like, the little groove there.
0.98
01:48:41.180
Yeah, like a walnut or something like that.
0.99
01:48:48.000
I could do it to a pack of wolves, but I don't know if I could do it to her.
1.00
01:48:49.920
If I fucked a Gilbert, I would be pretty mad if she fucked a Gilbert.
1.00
01:48:56.700
I didn't even realize what we're talking about.
01:49:03.000
Yeah, your girl's fucking somebody else, and you're like,
1.00
01:49:17.200
Hubert is up there, dude, because that's, like, a crazy name.
01:49:23.480
He's like, you fucking knew the name of Hubert?
1.00
01:49:26.980
Like, Pranay or something would be pretty bad.
1.00
01:49:29.400
Like, dude, shit's in the street and, like, smells like shit.
1.00
01:49:33.360
You're just making up Indian names, because you can't think a single Indian name.
01:49:41.620
I'm trying to even think of an Indian name.
1.00
01:50:07.440
If it's a guy with a girl name, that's really bad.
0.97
01:50:10.480
Or, like, some, like, super fucking bougie dude named, like, Bedminster or something.
0.97
01:50:20.400
Why are you texting this motherfucking name Bedminster?
1.00
01:50:23.740
Or, yeah, or, like, any of those, like, rich, white, progressive names.
01:50:34.720
We're determining pretty much any name would trigger...
0.99
01:50:38.360
No, but if you have any name other than our own.
01:50:41.920
Like, if she was fucked a Kyle, I'd be like, alright, whatever, Kyle.
0.99
01:50:45.320
I'd still hate Kyle, but it wouldn't be, like, offensive.
0.99
01:50:48.220
Yeah, it would be like, oh, like, if you fuck somebody that's, like, is, like, a Sean wouldn't be bad.
0.99
01:50:57.240
I was waiting for you to identify exactly what you were doing there.
0.99
01:51:02.360
Yeah, if you're fucking a Jaquan, you're out of here.
1.00
01:51:04.920
If I did hear a Jaquan, though, I would understand.
0.98
01:51:07.060
We didn't identify, like, Hubert and shit.
0.98
01:51:11.960
I need you to Google number eight Colorado University football player.
01:51:22.140
A Shador, I mean, like, Shador would be pretty bad.
1.00
01:51:27.620
But, yo, this name for number eight on that team is wild.
0.99
01:51:31.100
Now, top, I would be like, oh, you fucking a rapper behind my back?
1.00
01:51:45.460
You just have to see the spelling of his name.
0.92
01:51:52.920
Yo, I heard it said audibly, and I immediately grabbed my phone and looked it up because I
0.98
01:51:59.580
Should I try to pronounce it before I show it?
0.96
01:52:15.520
Well, it's a popular black alcoholic beverage.
0.61
01:52:46.580
Do you think that's better than Kool-Aid McEntry?
01:52:50.780
I think Cavuassier Smoke wins because Smoke is, like, such a crazy name.
01:52:55.760
There was a guy that played at Auburn that was last – his name was Smoke as well.
01:53:00.240
That sounds like a cool bad guy in a comic book.
01:53:12.140
Cavuassier Smoke, I think, is his fucking actual –
0.99
01:53:15.060
The guy in Alabama is actually – his actual name is Kool-Aid.
01:53:24.040
Yeah, can you imagine naming your child Kool-Aid?
1.00
01:53:34.020
And I was like, well, it all started back, you know, my ancestors.
01:53:36.220
They put them on a boat, and they bought them over here.
01:53:38.620
What about when Alabama had Ha Ha Clinton Dicks?
0.87
01:53:44.120
I love that dude because he's got my name, so respect for Ha Ha.
01:53:49.160
One of the worst ones – this is one of the worst ones I've ever heard of.
01:54:05.560
Ha Ha is the only time, and any of us will be seeing Clinton Dicks.
01:54:09.400
I think I've seen – I think I've said this before, but I worked in a school a long time ago,
01:54:13.400
and on the desk, there was a name called – it was L and had a dash and an A.
01:54:24.580
And I was on, like, the kindergarten desk, and I was like, what the fuck does that say?
0.98
01:54:32.880
Well, everybody, if all these black names have made you suicidal,
1.00
01:54:38.320
make sure you go pick up a razor at NadeauShaveCo.com, promo code TOWERGANG.
0.99
01:54:47.300
I guess I was just going to do our plugs for us.
01:54:53.740
Go to his merch store and fucking get that shit out there.
1.00
01:55:20.140
I'm probably, like, every day going to upload a new, some of my old shit.
01:55:28.340
Say, go send Toad your dicks at TOWERGANG underscore Toad.
0.92
01:55:36.460
We're going to try to get some more people, too.
0.98
01:55:37.740
Maybe I can get, like, Shane Cashman for some spooky shit.
0.97
01:55:40.680
His connection always seems kind of iffy, though.
01:55:44.160
If you want us to send your dick unsolicited to Dave Smith.
1.00
01:55:49.640
Assuming that Top's meme today didn't get me uninvited, I will be at the TimCast live event
01:56:02.220
I'll be there with Luke, Tim, and Ian, all three of them, and they'll be like, oh, yeah.
01:56:09.080
Can you show Donald Trump Jr. Toad's dick?
1.00
01:56:28.940
Say you've been going undercover for this guy.
0.99
01:56:30.980
Donald Trump Jr., he needs to tell me, is this my dick presidential or not?
0.99
01:56:38.320
Listen, Nephilim Death Squad just did another episode with Matthew Reif,
01:56:53.580
I forgot to mention, had on Sargon of Akkad on the show with Luke.
01:56:59.260
Did 130,000 views on Rumble, which is fucking amazing.
0.82
01:57:03.000
And then tomorrow, I have Michael Rechtenwald.
0.97
01:57:05.220
And then Friday, I have Ashley St. Clair on Liberty Lockdown.
01:57:16.080
I mean, feel free to send anything else, too.
1.00
01:57:25.080
If you have a meaty, meaty clit, then maybe we would consider it a nicest lady dick.
1.00
01:57:29.340
If you have a huge clit, you can send that.
1.00
01:57:31.280
But otherwise, don't send him a nice pussy.
1.00
01:57:41.940
I'm doing a couple episodes tonight, probably up until 4 a.m. again.
01:57:54.960
Toad, Toad, you take joy in being sleep-deprived, and you don't need to do that to yourself.
01:58:28.680
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:58:42.220
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:58:44.180
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:59:00.860
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:59:05.760
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:59:10.360
It's so fucking hard to line up to syllables and all that.
0.98