Ep 83 - Butthole Douches w⧸ Kyle Ruff
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 35 minutes
Words per Minute
196.3025
Hate Speech Sentences
158
Summary
Join us as we take a trip down mental illness lane with special guest Kyle Ruff, a Canadian comedian who happens to have a very large penis. We also discuss the Brad Palumbo controversy, and the weirdest 9/11 conspiracy theory ever.
Transcript
00:00:04.780
Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're unruly ferrets.
00:00:15.900
You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.
00:00:26.020
We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.
00:00:33.160
Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.
00:00:48.460
This is Clint Russell, a host of Liberty Lockdown and Tower Gang.
00:00:53.520
Make sure you give him a follow at his new handle, at TPH underscore Toad.
00:01:03.900
Make sure you check out his episode with the widow of Duncan Lump, if you haven't already.
00:01:31.640
I bet you get targeted at TSA for monkeypox inspections.
00:01:40.120
That must be, that must be the most invasive butthole inspection that they do with the TSA, I would imagine.
00:01:52.760
Well, welcome everybody to another, another trip down mental illness lane.
00:01:59.700
I mean, I guess we could hop into the, the controversy this week and get this out of the way.
00:02:08.960
I said Colorado, Colorado, Canadian, Colorado comedian.
00:02:14.900
Well, you said he was special, a.k.a. retarded, and you neglected to mention his medium-sized penis, so.
00:02:20.280
I didn't say medium penis, but I, I assumed that was a given.
00:02:25.460
Kyle, would you like to give your bona fides, so that way Clint can't, can't fuck it up for us?
00:02:37.640
You might know me from Childeberg, or Porkfest, or Fresno, the 50th anniversary Libertarian Party, or the Shell in New Hampshire, or Reno, or my dumbass podcast.
00:02:52.500
Make sure you subscribe to Medium Penis Podcast.
00:03:02.380
So thank you for joining us, Kyle Ruff, Canadian comedian.
00:03:08.880
So we had a little controversy last week, and are we going to go into the details of it, or are we just going to?
00:03:16.960
Then you tell as much as you want, because I don't really give a fuck about this, to be honest.
00:03:23.300
I guess Jay, Patriot Jay, was on last week, and I guess he called Brad Palumbo a faggot, which, I mean, I don't know.
00:03:30.940
I don't remember the context of what you said it.
00:03:38.960
At the same time, it's kind of like, in my head, when I say it, like, it's unironically the Louis CK bit, where it's like, it's not because you're gay.
00:03:49.240
No, it's, well, that is the, which is a total ripoff of the bit by Chris Rock.
00:03:56.260
Which, funny enough, what he did, which I guess is a little bit foreshadowing, being miffed about all this, is I find it to be hilarious.
00:04:04.800
Because it's the equivalent of when you say the N-word, and then they go, like, riot, and you're like, are you just proving me right?
00:04:13.260
The one thing that I was going to say about this, what I thought was hilarious, is that if you watch that episode, we said nigger, like, 50 times with a black guy on.
00:04:23.280
Well, to be fair, you were quoting Tupac, and that's a little different.
00:04:30.500
I think part of the reason why this specific thing, Patriot J saying this, gets people particularly irritated is because black people are supposed to be, like, on the same team as gay people, and they're not.
00:04:44.020
But they're not even fucking close to be on the same team.
00:04:47.820
Like, all my homie black friends, when I say they're homophobic, I don't mean, like, let's go string up a gay dude.
00:04:53.760
They're, like, they're just more, like, that's kind of not natural.
00:04:56.920
Like, there's, like, this inborn, like, I don't know what it is.
00:05:00.400
All my black friends, there's that little thing where, like, I mean, I could be cool with them, but I'm always going to side how I am a little bit.
00:05:05.400
Like, you don't make, you know the jokes where dudes, like, white guys constantly are, like, grabbing each other's junk and fucking, you know, kissing each other on the cheek and doing all sorts of gay shit.
00:05:19.560
They're like, like, you do that, and you're like, oh, we're fighting now.
00:05:22.340
So, I just think it's funny because, you know, from my vantage point, and I already, you know, I told Hannah I felt bad that Brad, you know, had his feelings hurt by it.
00:05:34.040
But at the same time, like, as far as my perception on it, when Patriot J said it was, like, this isn't about him being gay.
00:05:41.780
Like, at least to me it's not, but that's just how I read it, and I can understand, you know, Brad's perception.
00:05:47.080
But I will also say this, you know, my big critique of Brad in that interview with Ned Ryan was that I feel like this is kind of a belief in microaggressions, you know, because Ned Ryan didn't say anything homophobic.
00:06:03.220
But the way Brad perceived it was that it was, you know, packed full of vitriol just to say, you know, avoid gay orgies during the next couple months.
00:06:13.280
And it's like, like, that's, that's, to me, that's a microaggression.
00:06:17.420
Like, because he's not saying anything homophobe.
00:06:19.340
You're reading into it that it's some sort of malice-filled rant when it just, it comes across as, like, a factual, hey, this is the demographic that needs to be looking out for this thing.
00:06:29.400
The rest of us can probably, you know, live a normal life for the next couple months.
00:06:35.340
So, it's really, do we have to walk on eggshells about this?
00:06:39.160
Basically, that one other dude, Ned Ryan, like, he was the alpha chat, and then fucking, you know, Palumbo was gay.
00:06:45.980
But I don't mean gay and, like, gay gay, but, like, gay, you know, you know what I mean?
00:07:05.840
I mean, and I don't think, also, I'm sure Brad isn't familiar with this show, so it's probably the first time he tunes in, and he's just like, what the fuck is happening?
00:07:14.000
Yeah, which is pretty hilarious, because on the episode the week before that, we also called him a vaggot, so.
00:07:19.860
Geez, but now you're going to bring that up, and we're going to get in trouble again.
00:07:29.760
My first reaction when I was talking to Hannah about it, I was like, I mean, just so you know, Brad and our family members were, like, the only people that saw it, so just don't worry about it.
00:07:45.680
I'm just saying there's not a ton of people that watch.
00:07:47.480
Anyways, there is actually quite a few people that watch, and I told you guys this.
00:07:52.240
In Orlando, Kid Can't Come, Kid came up to me and said, I became a little...
00:08:05.480
I just don't usually put kid and come in the same sentence, unlike you, Jose.
00:08:09.160
Kid was going after a prepubescent boy in Orlando, and I couldn't come yet.
00:08:13.560
He walked up to me, and he came up to me, and he said that he found libertarianism because of our episode with Shoe on Head, and we were the most rational voices he had heard in the political landscape in his young life at the time, which is fucking hysterical.
00:08:44.800
I do got to say, big props to Shoe on Head for not leaving the show when the N-bomb got dropped.
00:08:54.400
She was like, everyone was like, you're going to leave as soon as they say the N-word?
00:09:02.840
And by the way, still love Patriot J. I think we all do.
00:09:09.980
We gave him a little bit of ball busting for him on Twitter earlier.
00:09:16.200
I'm not going to say everything, but I don't think he completely apologized of his own volition.
00:09:20.960
If you guys want to spill, you can, but that's as far as I'm going with it.
00:09:55.340
She transitioned and detransitioned in like two seconds.
00:10:00.740
Have you guys, have you not seen the documentary, What is a Toad?
00:10:03.800
I mean, like, how are you even supposed to know what he is?
00:10:08.420
Demi Lovato transitioned, but the only thing she transitioned from was fuckable to non,
00:10:16.000
You look like Toad trying to pull off being a chick.
00:10:23.740
You didn't see my Mrs. Doubtfire costume, all right?
00:10:42.240
That's why he's so upset, because he lost that other account that was huge, but it's
00:10:45.480
like built off of lots of weird shticks like this.
00:10:56.920
I feel like he has, like, outfitted, like, costumes, like, themed dick pics, you know?
00:11:06.220
Dress it up like Abraham Lincoln, put a little beard on it and shit.
00:11:10.040
I will not deny that I may have done that before.
00:11:14.580
You put, wait, set dick pics or put a fucking beard on it?
00:11:17.260
Not the Abraham Lincoln thing, but put costumes on my dick.
00:11:22.780
I dressed my dick up like the Patriot on 4th of July.
00:11:45.380
By the way, see, Forrest Mommy, some of the ladies like my photos, all right?
00:11:59.960
Forrest Mommy, why don't you drop nudes in the chat?
00:12:05.360
So I just did Forrest Mommy's live stream yesterday, and I was talking about the first
00:12:09.500
time I saw her boobs, and that was at the Colorado convention.
00:12:14.060
I was hosting the gala, and they were doing an auction.
00:12:18.380
And one of the auction, they were just giving me like a list, and like on the spot, I was
00:12:24.180
And this was like, oh, it's a gift basket with a few random things and a nude photo.
00:12:31.740
And so like, as I'm talking, someone just takes the photo of Forrest Mommy's tits and just
00:12:46.820
People do realize she did have a nude as her Twitter profile picture and got banned for
00:12:54.940
She was really hesitant about posting nudes for a while after that.
00:12:59.860
Well, it was also because there was a profile picture of why she got nude for that.
00:13:03.780
Like, you can have pictures all day long, but not for the profile picture.
00:13:13.460
There was that, too, with a sparkler in it at one point as well.
00:13:18.920
We wanted to cover the top 10 hottest libertarians this week, right?
00:13:25.540
Because I thought we were going to segue from that into Brad Palumbo, but we're going the
00:13:40.440
I mean, I'm good on talking about it some more.
00:13:42.340
I just have no idea what there's left to talk about with Brad.
00:13:49.620
I saw him at the event at Y'all Revolution Orlando, and he was avoiding me like the plague.
00:13:54.260
So he was obviously upset by it already, and that just sucks.
00:14:00.520
I am rooting for everybody in our sphere to fucking get on bigger and bigger platforms
00:14:05.600
because I think it's important that our messaging gets out there.
00:14:07.640
So there's no hate from me, and any disagreements I have with you has nothing to do with your
00:14:13.380
And if I describe it as gay, it's just because I think you're being gay, not that you are
00:14:19.480
And what I saw on that episode of Kennedy was not the right messaging.
00:14:26.720
You know, there's a problem with the double use of the word gay.
00:14:34.020
By the way, did you hear that the origins of monkeypox were traced back to Africa?
00:14:48.420
Kyle, how dare you refer to black people that way.
00:14:50.740
But everybody theorizes that AIDS may have been kind of like the original COVID, you
00:15:02.880
Because we've always blamed the Africans for fucking monkeys or something to get AIDS.
00:15:19.520
I think Africa does have a decent internet connection at this point.
00:15:27.320
Because Bill Gates was over in Africa jabbing all the people in Africa.
00:15:34.140
You know how, like, you'll see African tribes and shit.
00:15:36.820
And they're wearing, like, 1996 NBA championship Bulls shirts.
00:15:50.580
So there's, like, the 96, 97, 98 Utah Jazz championships.
00:15:57.900
Anyways, I was just wondering, like, what if they also get our old technology?
00:16:03.440
So, like, what if Africans are dealing with, like, AOL dial-up right now?
00:16:18.700
I'm pretty sure that, like, they handled COVID, like, really easily in Africa.
00:16:22.660
And it's just because they weren't watching any of the news.
00:16:28.300
So, like, being outside in the sun is, like, all you had to do to not die.
00:16:35.080
Before we go to 10 sexiest libertarians, we were actually talking about this earlier in chat.
00:16:39.300
I thought it was kind of funny to bring up the.
00:16:42.100
For one, he said, y'all see Malice Grilled Dave Smith for working with YAL.
00:16:49.080
I guess Malice chose not to go to the YAL thing because I guess he saw in the contract the whole speaking thing about, like, you can't talk shit for, like, a year.
00:16:56.480
And I guess you guys, you and Reed, got yours talked down to, like, a week or two, right?
00:17:09.020
But, no, Dave Smith, Dave on his show, he pulled, like, I literally, when we were talking about this, I was like, we need to do this bit.
00:17:15.800
Because, like, have you guys do it and then just have the entire time while you're under the, like, you can't talk shit thing.
00:17:21.680
We just, like, preface everything and then you have to defend every shitty thing they do.
00:17:24.900
And then, fucking, he literally did that on the episode.
00:17:30.420
Hey, I thought Dave went kind of hard in the paint.
00:17:36.200
He did that initially and then he was like, nah, fuck that.
00:17:38.660
And he completely admitted he didn't read the contract and he was like, well, like, hey, you know, that's on me.
00:17:44.280
But, you know, I guess that means they're entitled to the recompense when I don't hold up my end of the contract.
00:17:51.900
Yeah, no, I thought, and I enjoyed the episode.
00:17:58.860
And I thought that, you know, they present some interesting counter arguments to, I forget her name.
00:18:05.820
But I still had a great time at the event and I still fucking love the kids that are there.
00:18:10.100
It's like, it really is inspirational to see all these, you know, 18 to 22 or whatever year olds that are, like, really serious about this shit.
00:18:17.860
And I just, I hate, you know, I know a lot of people want to abandon the organization because of disagreements with the new management.
00:18:25.680
But I just think, like, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
00:18:30.340
And I know a lot of people are mad at me for it.
00:18:33.980
Keep in mind, guys, Clint is currently under contract.
00:18:37.180
If they don't pay my entire way there and let me speak, then I will not be going.
00:18:52.400
You know what we should just keep doing is keep talking shit and then have you.
00:19:03.400
No, I just thought it was funny that they brought up, you know, but I don't know.
00:19:09.980
I don't I don't think some people I feel like make this out to be like if you accept it, it's some like betraying a principle.
00:19:16.660
You're like, no, I mean, it's just kind of a payoff thing.
00:19:19.440
Like, I mean, like, obviously, like, yeah, it may fuck you over if later you're like, I can't talk shit if something goes down.
00:19:28.820
I know a lot of people want to make like this like a First Amendment thing.
00:19:33.560
Like, would you would you rather these thousand college students that are all gung ho for Ron Paul's revolution 2.0 not have Dave Cohen and Spike or excuse me, Dave Smith and Spike.
00:19:53.920
All these Mises caucus, you know, affiliated people like myself and Reed and even Mark Clare, who's certainly not affiliated with the Mises caucus.
00:20:02.300
I just like there is value in those kids hearing our our opinions, too.
00:20:08.580
I also get why, you know, gagging professional commentators is is not a good look.
00:20:18.100
Yeah, no, it's definitely I mean, I don't think they should have done that.
00:20:21.340
I could understand like a week or two because it's like I can understand that, like, you know, to bar someone from coming to your event and literally talking shit like they are kind of deal or shortly after.
00:20:36.020
But my opinion is, is if someone turns around and does that, you're never going to work with them again.
00:20:47.140
Like, why would someone do that in the first place?
00:20:54.420
Like, like, I remember I was talking to Reed and he was like mulling it over.
00:20:58.060
And I was like, if they offered to me, like, I'd fucking take the gag for however long, because obviously, you know, do my benefit.
00:21:04.740
And it's like, it's not really that big of a deal to me if I talk shit about YAL or not.
00:21:09.020
But like, if I was some like big, you know, say like a Dave Smith and I'd actually read it, you know, like kind of like he said, I'm going to say what I'm going to say.
00:21:20.880
So, or bitch and say, hey, no, I'm not signing that, which is kind of what Malice did.
00:21:28.020
But when I was talking to Reed, he kept pointing out like, well, dog, you're an egoist.
00:21:34.600
And a lot of people would just be like, I would never sign a contract saying I wouldn't be able to talk about anything.
00:21:41.040
And if that's your highest principle, you know, more proud to you.
00:21:46.280
And now that like there's so many people that have done that.
00:21:55.700
Now that that part of the contract has been exposed, then I doubt they would do it next year.
00:22:01.100
It's like the, I don't know if you guys are football fans, but the Kyler Murray contract was a bunch of controversy
00:22:05.760
where they put in like a thing in his contract that basically says you have to do homework.
00:22:12.540
And it was such a big deal that they immediately pulled it out.
00:22:15.680
Like, well, we were just kidding and they pulled it out.
00:22:17.820
So, like, now that everyone knows that they're doing that kind of shitty thing,
00:22:20.620
I bet that next year or whenever they do the next YL event like that, they probably won't be in there.
00:22:30.280
And if they did try to press charges, because I guess technically Dave didn't talk like a lot of shit,
00:22:34.460
but I guess he did, I guess you could possibly interpret it that way and say to the side to take him to court,
00:22:39.520
it'd be way more of a win for him even losing the money.
00:22:42.320
Because he would like, he'd be like, hey, I'm, you know, look at my big dick energy
00:22:46.020
and look at them being, you know, fucking fags about this weird little thing.
00:22:49.740
And, you know, like, yeah, I lost some money in a lawsuit or whatever the hell I owe you.
00:22:53.720
But, you know, fucking got so many followers out of it, you know?
00:22:57.160
It's just the overarching point I'd like to make is it's a huge mistake to ask libertarians to not talk about something.
00:23:10.360
If you're doing good work, like, we're going to support the fuck out of you anyway.
00:23:15.780
There's just, there's no reason for a contentious type, you know, deal.
00:23:19.180
So, I'm rooting for him, and I hope that, you know, maybe, maybe the fact that Malice withdrew
00:23:32.120
I don't know, you know, I'm being a little bit overly obvious.
00:23:34.060
We'll get rid of the women in the organization.
00:23:44.300
Well, that would get rid of one of YAL's biggest problems.
00:23:52.560
If there's no chicks there, you can't be having any sex scandals.
00:23:58.520
Yeah, let's talk about something safer, like the cum jar.
00:24:03.200
We need to go back to libertarians as being a dude's thing.
00:24:05.480
That way we don't have to worry about all this other gay shit.
00:24:07.740
We got the cum jar, and we got, Kyle had requested a fucker duck, so we do have to get to that
00:24:20.280
I don't get two shits with a cum jar, honestly.
00:24:30.320
The real point about the cum jar is, well, let's just, we'll take a look here.
00:24:35.580
Uh, this is a story that was, uh, shared on Reddit, uh, the confession subreddit, I believe.
00:24:45.780
Uh, this is, uh, that looks like, what is this, a school for ants?
00:25:10.700
I found a jar that my husband has been ejaculating in, and I threw it away.
00:25:23.440
Yeah, yeah, take it away, but then read it to us.
00:25:27.580
Unless you have a picture of the jar, because I'd be very interested.
00:25:30.700
Unfortunately, I do not, but you're going to have to visualize it.
00:25:37.080
I made a throwaway because I don't want this tied to my main account at all.
00:25:41.160
Because, of course, you know, Reddit accounts are so important, man.
00:25:44.980
Yesterday, our garbage disposal stopped working, and I was trying to see why.
00:25:49.560
So I was looking around under the sink, and I moved stuff out to get in there to look around more easily.
00:25:54.700
In the very back, tucked away, was a mason jar that I thought was just over halfway full of kitchen grease at first.
00:26:04.920
I made the mistake of opening it, and by the smell, I knew that it was definitely semen.
00:26:11.640
Disgust it, I threw it away in the dumpster outside.
00:26:14.720
It had to have been my husband's, but I don't know why he would save semen in a jar.
00:26:21.220
He seemed very embarrassed and confessed it was indeed a jar full of semen.
00:26:29.600
He said whenever it was my time of the month or I wasn't in the mood, he'd jerk off into the jar after I went to bed.
00:26:36.340
I asked him why not go to the toilet or use tissues or the shower or something.
00:26:41.900
He couldn't answer this other than saying that he's been doing this since he was a kid.
00:26:45.680
I told him I wanted to stop using a jar because it's disgusting.
00:26:49.660
He told me he didn't want to and asked where the jar was.
00:26:56.160
He said it took him a long time to fill the jar that much, and now he had to start over.
00:27:00.440
And we argued about him using a jar to store old jizz in.
00:27:04.560
I still don't understand why he wants to fill a jar for fuck's sake.
00:27:07.540
We argued about it, and during the argument, he opened the refrigerator, took a large jar of pickles out, and dumped it out, and started rinsing it out and said,
00:27:17.720
Before I knew it, I'm literally screaming at my husband about cumming in jars and told him he could either cum in me or the jar, but not both.
00:27:25.180
He clutched the jar and stormed it off to the bathroom.
00:27:33.760
I can kind of honestly kind of wrap my head around this, but the only way I can see this is if you had like a –
00:27:43.120
If you had like a shitty mother that like never –
00:27:50.360
You know how when you first start like doing that as a kid?
00:27:54.800
And like I feel like if you had a parent – like say you just for some reason thought in your retarded little eight-year-old head or whatever that,
00:28:01.600
Hey, a good place to do it is in this jar, and I'll hide it when my mother won't see it.
00:28:04.640
It's let's say your mother never found it, and you went your whole life doing that.
00:28:08.240
I could see all this like weird inborn thing where like you've done it forever, and now you have this weird fucked up thing where like that's just your thing.
00:28:18.300
And I feel like it stems from parental issues, but should have cleaned the room more.
00:28:22.300
I think the only way that I would justify this is if you were storing your semen and like refrigerating it or freezing it or something so that you could like spread your steam later.
00:28:34.860
If you need to repopulate the earth, that's about the only thing that fucking makes sense.
00:28:39.280
Because all that sperm is motherfucking dead, dude.
00:28:46.540
This dude is a fucking lunatic, and I can't believe you guys are trying to justify it in any form of question.
00:28:52.340
What I'm getting out of this right now is that none of you guys have a cum jar, so I'll just stay quiet.
00:28:59.740
That's what I'm dealing with men's culture here.
00:29:01.560
I usually jerk off in the shower or like a sane person, so.
00:29:04.800
To our resident cum jar utilizer, Top, if you could advise as to why the fuck you do that.
00:29:10.780
First off, using a pickle jar, big mistake, too acidic.
00:29:22.080
You need the BJ size Hellman's, an empty Hellman's mayonnaise.
00:29:29.540
Yeah, if there's any leftover mayo, then you can't really tell the difference anyway, so.
00:29:32.700
That seems like a huge risk that someone sees the mayo jar and just uses it.
00:29:52.160
How long it took me to get that fucking mayonnaise, Brad?
00:29:57.800
You know how white people love the mayonnaise, too, man.
00:30:05.600
Do you think they give you a good bonus when they see jars of mayo?
00:30:17.260
Well, because I've always wondered if they get a boner when they walk into a room and they
00:30:20.860
like, if you like, if you smell a fart, like, do you go like, like, boy, yo, yo, yo, yo.
00:30:27.020
It's kind of the same idea as when you smell your finger the next morning, like, oh, yeah.
00:30:32.340
Yeah, so if a gay dude was to smell this, like, jizz jar, he would get a boner from it.
00:30:46.620
So my wife, my wife used to work with this gay dude and she would come and say, what am
00:30:55.000
I love it when we scare off comedians because we're so insane.
00:31:10.580
So, yeah, my wife used to work and one of the, like, the secretary, some gay dude, she
00:31:17.260
said every day she'd come home and she'd be like, this guy smells like shit.
00:31:39.520
So, she was, so she was, she was just like, every day she'd tell me, like, yo, this guy
00:31:50.980
So, she kept saying it and one of my gay friends was around and he goes, you know what
00:31:57.560
Well, what's happening is this dude is getting rammed out and then not washing properly.
00:32:05.160
So, it's a mixture of, like, a loose butthole, semen that's festering, and then, like, probably
00:32:11.660
Like, if your diet's bad, and he's just sitting there, it's graphic, it's terrible, he's sitting
00:32:22.720
I hear shit, like, from, like, Leviticus and stuff about how, like, you know, that shit
00:32:28.620
Anyone who says the Bible's okay with gay, you're fucking retarded.
00:32:32.280
There's, like, a large, there's, like, probably five to ten verses that are very, very clear
00:32:39.120
And it's times like this where I'm like, I kind of get it.
00:32:42.220
I don't agree completely, but I get where you're coming from.
00:32:51.500
It might be, like, in the Bible, like, one of those things, like, don't eat pork because
00:32:55.200
people were dying in trichinosis and shit, and don't eat shellfish because we couldn't,
00:33:02.220
Yeah, don't be gay because we don't know how to fix the shit that comes with that.
00:33:08.640
They just give you the simple retard answer instead of being like, hey, if you want to be a
00:33:11.660
gay man, just, you know, I don't know, don't go crazy with it.
00:33:14.620
You know, just maybe try some sort of monogamy type thing, you know.
00:33:17.600
But instead of that, they just go, nope, don't be gay.
00:33:19.820
Instead of the don't go to gay piss orgies, the Bible's just like, just don't be gay.
00:33:26.020
What's weird is that, like, obviously, biblically, yeah, they're pretty homophobic, as they would
00:33:37.320
Yeah, well, they're, like, homo, I don't know, murderous.
00:33:41.660
But what's fascinating is that, like, there's some really, you know, impressive civilizations
00:33:53.040
It's oftentimes, oftentimes affiliated with, like.
00:33:55.280
Are you referring to around the time of the collapse?
00:34:03.020
I genuinely don't have a problem with gay people.
00:34:11.640
Warrior culture, oftentimes, like, doesn't, they don't have a problem with, like, the tribal
00:34:17.720
leader just railing out the young dudes in the clan or whatever.
00:34:27.320
But then the, like, black people, even though they're super homophobic, like, if you go
00:34:31.640
to prison and you blow a dude out, like, all good.
00:34:35.340
Like, there's no, no such thing as being gay in the pen.
00:34:40.260
It's just interesting because, like, that's, like, that's our warrior culture today is, like,
00:34:50.120
When you're at war, like, you make do with what you got.
00:34:58.160
Listen, man, I understand that we're all homosexual here, so.
00:35:02.580
No, I mean, I just, I just thought it was an interesting point.
00:35:05.060
Like, because they're, like, out, they're, like, out fucking murdering, you know, warrior
00:35:09.440
tribes or their opponent tribes at day, and then they're just blowing each other out at
00:35:15.740
Have you ever read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible?
00:35:19.540
So, there's a, there's a part in the scripture where, uh, I think Lot brings, like, the two
00:35:39.120
So, there's, there's a part where, uh, they, uh, the, the, the, a lot, lot shows up with
00:35:45.200
the angels and he's like, get in the house quick because people are wilding out here.
00:35:48.240
And a couple of gay dudes or bi dudes, they're, like, knocking on the door and they're like,
00:35:57.660
Like, they were, yeah, the gay people were about it back then.
00:36:09.540
Weird, weird, like, borderline fucking, like, deep fucking hallucinogenic trance looking
00:36:22.820
Look, man, have you ever had a wing jaw before?
00:36:29.820
Have any of you guys ever looked into the biblically accurate angels and what they look
00:36:36.880
Like, cause there are weird descriptions in the Bible of what angels look like and they're
00:36:41.780
There's literally nothing that Top hasn't looked into.
00:36:49.560
And I think I have seen it in like some documentary before.
00:36:53.560
There's multiple different, there's multiple different angels, but like the most common
00:36:57.820
ones, like the one that's like, you know, multiple concentric, like wheels within
00:37:06.280
And there's like this weird Lovecraftian monster basically that you're like, oh yeah, that's
00:37:12.500
But then I'll imagine with those rolling up and some dudes are like, yo, I'm going to
00:37:21.900
I bet that thing has a butthole and I'm going to find out.
00:37:25.180
Top, I'm wondering with your story about your wife's coworker or whatever.
00:37:29.060
So he smelled horrible because he had a gaping asshole from getting reamed all the time.
00:37:33.540
But if the guy who was reaming him, his dick would smell like that guy's butthole, right?
00:37:38.720
So if he didn't wash his dick, he would smell horrible as well, right?
00:37:48.760
I want to know if they get boners when they smell shit.
00:37:53.740
I wouldn't take like rancid shit, but maybe like a not so bad fart.
00:38:01.660
Like you know it's there, but you're not like, ooh.
00:38:07.100
Like if you smell a coochie and it's just like faintly, you're like, yeah, that's good shit.
00:38:12.420
But when it's like, it's kind of the same thing with fish.
00:38:14.380
Once it starts sinking too much, you're like, that's bad.
00:38:23.000
But also, unlike you uncultured swine, I have gay friends.
00:38:31.000
And he was telling me all about the process of douching one's butthole before a gay date.
00:38:39.340
And he literally douches, douches out the bungus hole so he can impress the dude with a not poopy smelling butthole.
00:38:49.080
So I don't think, I don't think smelling the poop really gets him going.
00:38:55.600
Like if I went down on a coochie and it like smelled like strawberry, I'd be like, what the fuck did you do here?
00:39:02.360
But no matter how much you douche your asshole, you're still going to have some shit smell.
00:39:10.040
I think you combine Kyle's story with Jose's thesis and we have an answer.
00:39:20.100
Have you ever been to one of those bodegas where they sell like the incense candles and they'll sell one that smells like pussy?
00:39:30.300
I've been to a bodega where they smell like incense candles, but I've never seen the pussy one.
00:39:34.240
Oh, there's some bodegas where they'll sell like all different kind of incense candles and it's to like mask your weed smell in your house.
00:39:50.460
I've never lit it, but like I would assume like if you lit it and that gave you a boner, then it would be like reverse engineering for gay dudes.
00:39:59.720
I know, I know everyone, everyone always thinks I'm homophobic when I ask this question, but this is genuine curiosity.
00:40:10.200
I mean, I feel like any straight dude has smelled like a faint whiff of cooch once and been like, yo, what's up?
00:40:19.400
No, if it's strong, you're like, get the fuck out of here.
00:40:22.040
I don't know if there's a middle ground for sure.
00:40:24.660
But there are, there are some fucking, there's some creepy ass dudes that love like stank pussy.
00:40:29.800
So I, I can imagine there's some gay dudes out there that are like, they walk into a fucking outhouse and they're just like, oh, you're doing.
00:40:36.800
Like back in the day, like, I think, I think like Napoleon, Napoleon was known for this.
00:40:41.300
Like he would tell Josephine to just like not shower for like months on end.
00:40:46.820
I remember being in basic training and towards the end, like some of the girl flights would walk by and like the perfume would do it, but also that like faint smell of cooch.
00:41:01.320
If we ever do a new intro, that's going to be your edit right there.
00:41:08.620
I was going to say one more thing about this jar though, by the way, do you not think that that dude, at least he was.
00:41:16.360
Being a total Chad at the end there by choosing the jar over the woman.
00:41:21.640
That's like Seinfeld where he chooses the voice over his girlfriend.
00:41:40.640
I'm actually thinking about the jar because today I went on a mission.
00:41:44.020
And then we made, we made my kid, uh, like this sensory bottle.
00:41:50.020
And you put like, not yet, but you put like in there and like the kids like it.
00:41:57.460
Like you, you glue the top and they like, turn it around.
00:42:06.940
If you let your kids play with it, would this be?
00:42:10.500
It's like when you ever see those things that have like water, oil, and like other stuff.
00:42:18.960
I just had another, I just had another very important question.
00:42:21.760
You know how there's like OnlyFans where the, the model will ship out her underwear.
00:42:26.800
Like your mom's house with Thompson Gray and Christina P.
00:42:29.560
Like the OnlyFans models will ship out their underwear.
00:42:37.060
And then they'll sniff it while they jerk off while watching her on camera.
00:42:41.000
You gotta, you gotta imagine that there's some gay OnlyFans accounts.
00:42:55.840
I think that, I think that might be like a biohazard.
00:43:01.180
It'd still be pretty chad if you ship your shit through the mail.
00:43:04.380
No, you can actually, do you remember when, what was the, Binger, the attorney in the Kyle Rittenhouse?
00:43:16.080
The attorney who was prosecuting Kyle Rittenhouse.
00:43:20.420
A bunch of people, there was an online campaign to mail shit to that guy's house.
00:43:38.020
That's how we got Shu, because we riffed off of that with Sell Us Your Bath Water.
00:43:53.520
We have a guest request for the new edition of Fucker Doc.
00:44:06.400
The 10 Hottest Libertarian version of it, I suppose, is what we're calling it.
00:44:12.660
Are we going to look at teeny tiny pictures again of all these people?
00:44:24.980
We're absolutely not going to read their write-ups.
00:44:50.980
I mean, if we're doing this based on attractiveness, don't get me wrong.
00:44:54.880
He's definitely Top 10 of Libertarian individuals, if not Top 5.
00:44:59.660
But in this list, there were a couple cute chicks.
00:45:03.180
So I think he's kind of mixing, obviously, standards of attractiveness and maybe kind
00:45:11.440
What's weird is Dave's been using the same headshot forever.
00:45:17.680
I don't know if he even looks like that anymore.
00:45:25.600
I think he could really stand and work out a little bit.
00:45:29.940
But aside from that, he has very good genetics, very good at face, very good frame.
00:45:34.360
Like he could probably like not even put that much effort into working out and be looking
00:45:41.420
That was like one of the first things I noticed.
00:45:43.240
One of the first things I noticed hanging out with him is like how lanky he is.
00:45:57.820
That's not the only strangely long thing he's got.
00:46:03.800
Dude, you know how many dicks he can jerk off at the same time with those fingers?
00:46:07.960
I kept asking him to just give me one finger and he wouldn't do it.
00:46:16.320
I think you're just being heterosexual and you're not being fair.
00:46:19.440
I think Dave is probably the hottest libertarian.
00:46:22.660
Even though, yeah, he looks like he probably got aged from Robbie.
00:46:27.440
I guess even if I was like to evaluate as if I was a chick.
00:46:34.540
There's like one chick that's a smoke show in here.
00:46:47.120
Dude, I'm just wondering why his tour dates are on this headshot here.
00:46:56.200
Dave, you're doing a show on April 29th and April 30th?
00:47:05.340
Really, Dave is just running a master class in fucking promotion right now.
00:47:32.880
It's completely self-promotional on Austin's part.
00:47:42.780
If we ever get him on here, we need to have him read his dating profile.
00:47:52.560
And usually you would see her on Twitter like simping or a guy simping around.
00:47:57.160
She would have six figures followers if she was even on Twitter.
00:48:01.280
If she was even just promoted, even just to the occasion, just kind of cute selfie and
00:48:05.620
didn't really put out much verbal content, she still would just be killing it in the
00:48:09.540
Every post, it could just be a selfie with her going, I am a federal agent and she would
00:48:14.800
She didn't even have to go full on whore, like titties out, just even just a face with
00:48:19.300
a little bit of cleave and you're fucking good.
00:48:24.380
I just followed her hypothetically, just thinking about it.
00:48:40.240
You know, you know, I got to put him at number one because he's the only one I've had sex
00:48:45.280
I honestly, although I feel like if I was a chick, I'd have a distinct taste.
00:49:00.420
Dude, I actually took this photo and I should get royalties for it.
00:49:06.000
I, you know, captured his raw masculine essence.
00:49:10.480
You should be fourth sexiest just by association.
00:49:15.340
I'm glad you said essence because that's exactly what he emanates.
00:49:20.880
As you know, Clint, I've allowed Reed to sleep in my bed multiple times.
00:49:45.820
I'm doubting whether or not you had sex with Reed.
00:49:47.900
This, this, this little comedy riff bit is floundering.
00:49:55.460
Toad just beats every single joke into the ground.
00:50:02.440
I'm not even trying to be mean, but like high mids.
00:50:08.640
I thought you were going to be meaner, honestly.
00:50:14.380
I don't find her particularly extra attractive.
00:50:22.160
I get her confused with every other redheaded libertarian.
00:50:29.440
Cause I think she's very unique for the redheaded libertarian crowd in terms of looks, but.
00:50:39.820
There's something about her energy that scares me.
00:50:42.620
Like, I mean, like if I was to be in a relationship with her, not that I'm worried about it, but something about her.
00:50:47.440
I just feel like she's just, there's just like a, something in her eyes just screams like, this is going to be like a crazy person to be in a relationship with.
00:50:54.360
Everything else, socially, she seems all right.
00:50:56.460
Everywhere I've ever seen her peer, but something about the eyes, it's like, I'd be very worried in a relationship, you know.
00:51:09.860
And she made you sign a contract where you can't talk shit for a year.
00:51:18.280
She and I have become pretty good friends over the past year.
00:51:21.800
And what's funny is like, she was pretty reviled by like my little wing of Liberty Twitter for a while.
00:51:30.220
And I didn't ever understand it because I hadn't been on the internet long enough to know what the beef was.
00:51:35.360
And then I just started to like, yeah, I still don't know what the beef is, but I started to interact with her.
00:51:40.060
And I concluded that all of the people that hated her very rapidly hated me as soon as my account started to grow and shit.
00:51:47.720
I was like, oh, these people are just fucking like haters.
00:51:56.540
I never cared to bother to look into their weird fucking issues.
00:52:03.220
All the people that hated her end up being crazy people.
00:52:07.040
I can actually, I can tell you exactly what happened off the show if you want.
00:52:28.900
I mean, the red-headed aspect gives extra points.
00:52:46.180
And we know that I like women that play ukulele as a fellow ukulele artist.
00:53:00.120
A woman that thinks she has a fucking talent she wants to be bothering me by.
00:53:06.300
The fact that Toad plays ukulele is the least surprising thing I've heard this entire podcast,
00:53:25.340
I mean, she's kind of the same league as Josie, I think.
00:53:27.860
Like, you know, like, if we're going to be honest, probably in the six to eight range.
00:53:31.220
She looks like a SeaWorld trainer in that picture.
00:53:37.660
They can stroke my orca, you know what I'm saying?
00:53:49.880
I just can't believe that Austin published this, and he put another red-headed libertarian
00:53:57.100
It's weird to put your wife in there, and I feel like if you're going to include your
00:54:00.100
wife, you either go all the way with it or not at all.
00:54:02.760
To put her, like, midway through the list is a weird move.
00:54:05.080
You put her number one and put some sappy bullshit, or you just don't put her in there at all
00:54:21.020
Number one, my wife, because she's my wife, and then that's it.
00:54:24.840
Putting her right in the middle, it's because there's, like, such intent behind it, it's
00:54:35.260
I gotta say, though, if she didn't kill him for this, she is cool as hell.
00:54:39.480
Because I would, like, most of the women I've dated, they would not be pleased if I was
00:54:44.680
Most of the women I've dated that I put on a hot or not list.
00:54:47.660
You can justify not putting them on a list because you'd be like, that'd be weird.
00:54:54.500
But then to put them on a list and put them, like, in the middle?
00:55:00.440
So, Clint, you've actually spoken to Austin Peterson, and you know his cadence.
00:55:03.560
So, imagine his wife questioning, so I'm number five, and he just says, well, actually, sit
00:55:07.820
down and let me explain this to you theoretically.
00:55:10.080
And just, like, post me to the date points about why she's number five and she agrees at
00:55:19.560
I wish one of you guys could do his cadence right, because it is actually pretty hilarious
00:55:30.940
I think she earns extra points, too, because she just seems like a really sweet person.
00:55:53.780
Dave came on my show, but then he didn't follow me, so I have to put him down to, like,
00:56:01.880
If I was in a dude, I would 100% be in a Dave Rubin.
00:56:04.320
Even if I was a straight chick, he's a handsome man.
00:56:06.580
No, I met him in wherever the first Freedom Fest was, South Dakota.
00:56:15.700
He is a fucking really good-looking guy in person, so...
00:56:18.500
Does he have, like, a really big face in person?
00:56:22.580
I mean, when he smiles, obviously his cheeks expand, but if he's just standing there, no.
00:56:30.240
He's also more attractive because of that Chad move that he pulled on Joe Jorgensen.
00:56:37.960
Joe was like, are you going to vote for me now, Dave?
00:56:42.660
It was an unnecessary and niche callback, but I got you.
00:56:46.160
I actually have a picture with two people on this list and me, which makes it even more
00:56:52.740
I have Dave Rubin and Reid in South Dakota together.
00:57:03.500
Number seven, we need Reid Coverdale here for this.
00:57:06.460
Dude, this is the biggest slight on this list as far as I'm concerned.
00:57:09.980
And I know Jose's fucking deeply satisfied with the fact that she was put low.
00:57:23.120
I don't get why you guys think she's so fucking hot.
00:57:56.400
Maybe if you're really sad, you're like planning for the future and like genetically not even
00:58:16.540
Kyle, medium penis rough is sliding in your DMs, MJ.
00:58:21.040
You can slide this medium penis right into your DMs.
00:58:38.120
You just said she shouldn't even be on the list.
00:58:43.580
Reed is a more handsome man than she's an attractive woman.
00:58:46.000
Oh, that is the gayest thing you would ever see.
00:58:49.220
No, if we're going to be completely objective, I think Reed is a more handsome man than she
00:58:56.840
If we're being completely objective, we all just found out that Jose is gay.
00:59:03.000
No, what Jose is saying, Jose is saying that Reed has staying power, and I think he's
00:59:08.300
Like, Reed will be 40 and maintain that rugged good look.
00:59:29.020
Like, top 10, like, I just, I don't, she's attractive.
00:59:37.980
All I gotta say is, MJ, come see me this weekend.
00:59:42.820
Like, I would totally smash, but that's not saying much.
00:59:48.360
She is the hottest woman on this list besides that chick who I don't think exists.
00:59:55.520
I actually find both the redheads more attractive.
01:00:05.060
Because he got the red hat aspect, which is kind of hot.
01:00:08.940
Something about, like, Austin Pearson's wife's Juno's is kind of weirdly hot.
01:00:21.180
If there was a dictionary of, like, the word based, it would just be a picture of Jose.
01:00:26.380
And his laugh would play when you opened the page.
01:00:30.680
And by the way, I 100% am not trying to be mean to MJ.
01:01:02.560
MJ or that Rhode Island senator that was twerking.
01:01:18.960
You're talking about the black chick that twerked upside down?
01:01:27.320
She would be awful to have any sort of extended, but just for the, just for the, just to get the cake.
01:01:34.760
See, Jose is just looking for that, uh, that, uh, slight whiff of, uh, of the coochie, so.
01:01:46.620
You got one of those things you can just, like, shake.
01:01:59.220
I mean, she's pretty, but I don't have a fucking clue who she is.
01:02:01.940
Is this just, like, Austin trying to pull off threesomes?
01:02:13.560
Uh, she might be the hottest woman on this list.
01:02:16.400
It's between her and that first one, and I think they're both actually non-existent.
01:02:20.180
That first chick is hotter, but this chick is close.
01:02:23.980
She has an OnlyFans, so she's a solid number one on this list.
01:02:59.040
I'm pumped because we're going to get in trouble with base politics two weeks in a row.
01:03:12.480
She should be wadded for efforts in the liberty movement.
01:03:42.160
I just find it so funny how somebody's looks can really be.
01:03:45.860
They really depreciate by their awful political takes.
01:03:50.820
I saw the name and I'm just like, it's a no from me, dog.
01:04:03.400
Then it goes like, everyone else on the planet.
01:04:31.020
He needs to get it more tight, more clean, or ditch it all together.
01:04:36.440
He is one of the nicest people I've ever interacted with.
01:04:39.460
But honestly, right up there with Dave, though.
01:04:41.940
Him and Dave are both just cut from the same super gracious, super kind cloth.
01:04:47.680
It was weird how cool Dave was when I met him in person.
01:04:52.020
But hey, I'm telling you, dude, Zoobie's the same way.
01:05:02.160
If I was a chick or a gay man, I'd 100% be into Zoobie.
01:05:05.640
Although, once again, I have to mention his beard is sometimes a little unkempt.
01:05:12.460
For the record, there is no one on this list in better shape than Zoobie.
01:05:24.340
I just did that podcast with Forrest Mommy last night.
01:05:26.680
The fact that her and me didn't make this list, and it can't possibly be because no
01:05:31.940
one knows who I am, but the point is, we're both very sexy, especially Forrest Mommy.
01:05:40.500
I mean, no offense to Zoobie, but Forrest Mommy should be at least.
01:05:43.540
If there was a list for octogenarians, Forrest Mommy would be on it.
01:05:48.960
Versus MJ, I go Forrest Mommy every fucking time.
01:05:55.140
I will say Forrest Mommy is not entirely my type.
01:05:58.040
Before Forrest Mommy turned 50, she would have been on this list, but at this point.
01:06:03.720
We should have had Tyler Yankee on as a guest host today because one of his comments here,
01:06:18.040
Nothing's better than an old man that's already got his money made and already got pussy ready
01:06:26.460
One of the things he said when he was on the show that still haunts me, he was like,
01:06:34.820
Like, and he's like, yeah, no, that's just how it's always been.
01:06:52.580
I can only imagine if I acted like that to my wife.
01:07:07.220
I really want to cover that at some point, although I don't know to what depth we can.
01:07:11.300
I've heard some shit, yeah, but I don't know what's true.
01:07:14.420
I feel weird slinging shit, but it is a hilarious content, whatever we do.
01:07:19.400
Are we really going to fact check our shit talking, or are we just going to lay it out there?
01:07:24.180
It's a lot of allegations, but it's also hilarious, but it's like, I don't necessarily know if I buy into all the allegations.
01:07:32.040
Adam Kokesh, friend of the show, also a guy who has called us all retards.
01:07:39.980
Andy said that episode would be our last, and it was.
01:07:44.980
I'm going to defend, once again, I will go and defend Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, and Adam Kokesh.
01:07:57.580
I love, I get all this shit for signing the YELL contract, and Adam's out there having his girlfriend sign contracts.
01:08:03.680
So, hey, you know, that's true, baby, actually.
01:08:11.360
I know, like, our whole episode with him was supposed to be, like, kind of adversarial, but, like, the more I interact with him, the more I'm like, okay, yeah, we have disagreements, but you are weirdly, like, fucking, like a base crazy person.
01:08:25.940
Garbage Mane says, y'all made a black man apologize to a gay man today.
01:08:29.120
We didn't make him do shit, I promise you that.
01:09:30.260
Is there anyone that should be on the list that wasn't?
01:09:39.340
It'd be fun to take that list and try to argue the correct order.
01:09:45.780
Zuby and MJ should be number one and two, and they should fucking get together and reproduce.
01:09:57.380
Because she's so thin, and he's, like, really jacked.
01:10:00.640
He obviously has a huge wang, so I don't know how that would work, like, physically.
01:10:06.280
He says, you guys see the most recent, or one of the most recent leaders skanks where they're
01:10:10.960
arguing about, like, creating a tier list of what one to ten is?
01:10:14.400
It was pretty amazing, like, them trying to do that.
01:10:17.660
And so I was just, like, thinking about that when we were talking about that.
01:10:21.320
They were, like, coming up with characters from Friends for, like, a six, seven, and an
01:10:30.080
What I was thinking of is, like, the whole thing, like, Jay...
01:10:33.520
Jay, I think, clearly more has tastes like me, whereas, like, Dave and Louis clearly,
01:10:39.380
Like, they were, like, arguing Gal Gadot was, like, a ten.
01:10:48.500
If we're going to have a scale of one to ten hotness when it comes to Libertarians,
01:11:03.420
Okay, but if we're putting the list, that number two chick, I think, would be a ten.
01:11:29.880
I don't count any of them a ten, aside from, like, the second chick.
01:11:47.620
So, you're saying that chick that no one knows exists.
01:11:55.300
Whoever had the OnlyFans, she's a ten, and that's the only one.
01:12:05.940
And I'm not talking about my dick this time, either.
01:12:09.580
I'm going to have to think of that one a little bit.
01:12:24.440
Or are we, like, doing, like, what are we talking?
01:12:59.020
I like how he constantly takes pictures where his...
01:13:02.720
The aura of his dick is, like, showing through his shorts and shit.
01:13:17.720
It's just fascinating because, like, normally if you're packing that kind of heat, you don't go to the gym 24 hours a day like he obviously does.
01:13:30.880
Makes him go, like, look, I'm already genetically gifted.
01:13:40.820
And he's like, I'm also going to have an eight-pack and be able to do a thousand push-ups.
01:14:04.060
Honestly, I think he is pushing it for Zuby, to be honest with you.
01:14:07.680
That's just because you're racist, and that's fine.
01:14:10.720
For libertarians, though, I don't know, grading on that curve, he's probably close, yeah.
01:14:15.380
All right, well, then fucking MJ, ten, Zuby, nine.
01:14:22.400
And by the way, if Eshton's watching in the other room,
01:14:25.100
you're not a libertarian, and that's why you're not on this list.
01:14:34.220
This is the thing that I'm going to, like, bring you out.
01:14:36.760
If I had to agree, if I was adding Eshton to the list, I would probably have her beat
01:14:40.400
out more, because she's more my body type than they are.
01:14:43.500
You know, it's weird, because that's your chick.
01:14:59.500
And she is self-declared not a libertarian, so she cannot be in this competition.
01:15:03.280
So do not yell at me when I get in the other room, Eshton.
01:15:12.940
And she retweets woke shit all the time now, so I think...
01:15:15.640
Well, then we shouldn't call her hot, because that's a label.
01:15:22.240
Well, I think we're at a good point here now, guys.
01:15:25.800
Unless you got any other shit you guys want to bring up?
01:15:28.540
Fucking my dick's at a good point after that list.
01:15:32.060
You know, no one loves Reed more than me, but I'm not giving Reed a 10.
01:15:46.060
If you suck it right, he can go from an 8 to a 9.
01:15:54.580
If you've just been around him, you've seen his bulge.
01:16:04.260
I feel like Reed's attractive, but not in that conventional male attract...
01:16:09.880
Like, society tells you is, but he's just like...
01:16:15.160
He probably has sufficient amount of strength, energy.
01:16:23.460
If there was someone to raise my family and coddle me at night, yeah, it'd be weird.
01:16:42.400
That's why I give him, like, eight or a nut for that.
01:16:49.240
Yeah, that's what I'm going to call him beating off from now on.
01:16:52.040
I was like, oh, I'm going to go home and choke the otter.
01:16:57.400
And if you've seen Reed climb mountains, that might put him up to a 10, man.
01:17:15.040
Speaking of hiking, did anybody see Justin Bieber doing a fucking goose step?
01:17:21.400
That seems like something that should be on our show.
01:17:23.880
Yeah, everyone go ask Justin Bieber to go on Tower Gang.
01:17:32.980
He'd be like, hey, guys, thanks for having me on.
01:17:43.780
The Third Reich is going to take over the planet.
01:18:00.180
I feel like if his face went dead because of the vaccine and he's like, it's the Jews.
01:18:06.600
Guys, I've been doing a lot of research and it turns out that there's a lot of testing in Israel.
01:18:13.520
There's a lot of weird Israeli ties going on here.
01:18:24.740
It's going to be a new song instead of like, fuck you.
01:18:27.020
It's going to be like, if you don't like the way that the vaccine works, then you can go and fuck a Jew.
01:18:38.240
This is kind of in a weird way why I'm a little bit sympathetic to like the hardcore all right types.
01:18:43.240
Because it's like, there are a shitload of weird Israeli ties.
01:18:49.740
It's like, I don't hate them because they're Jewish.
01:18:51.980
It's the aspect of it's just so happens to be the Israeli government and people play that card.
01:19:03.620
That's why we always get caught in this whole anti-Semitism shit.
01:19:08.080
It's like, okay, it's Israel I have a problem with, not the Jews.
01:19:14.460
And Justin Bieber's like, no, no, it's the Jews I have a problem with.
01:19:24.900
It's the Jewish people that live in Israel that I have a real fucking problem with.
01:19:27.680
You know that Jewish dentist, you know, down the street?
01:19:31.660
I could totally see how a complete retard, who's like getting really based on this shit,
01:19:35.920
would just be like, yeah, holy shit, look at those Israel stuff.
01:19:47.360
Are you telling me that it's not the Jews' fault?
01:19:49.560
Dr. Goldstein said that everything would be fine, and then look what happened to me.
01:20:00.560
By the way, Gal Gadot is like a five because she's from Israel.
01:20:24.220
Alice is the next girlfriend before we started banging her white.
01:20:31.640
I actually do agree she's not a ten, but she's a high nine for sure.
01:20:38.960
But if I'm grading on the ones presented to me, she is the ten.
01:20:43.160
If I have to fill that slot with the ideas I have presented to me.
01:20:49.100
Dude, literally tomorrow, if she was like, I just read some Rooney Mothbard.
01:21:00.600
But no, if she tomorrow was like, you know, I've been checking out Ron Paul.
01:21:20.580
I watched Mother Woman and Beat Off twice a day.
01:21:32.400
I think she's one of the most beautiful human beings to ever be.
01:21:42.680
I hate that classically skinny, attractive, perfect bone structure.
01:22:02.260
But if she were to disavow her home country, she'd be like a 15.
01:22:09.720
If I'm being – like in my head, she's like an eight.
01:22:18.220
So like, I mean, honestly, I look at Gal Gadot, and there are probably traps out there that
01:22:28.020
That's what you have to do with your wife, right?
01:22:29.660
You have to storm into the room and be like, I'm here to fuck chicks.
01:22:35.680
I'm here to suck dicks and fuck chicks, and I'm all out of chicks.
01:22:38.540
That's how Tyler – that's what Tyler announces when he walks to the door.
01:22:43.440
I'm here to fuck chicks, and his kids just run away.
01:22:47.920
Like, not again, daddy, and they run out of the room.
01:22:52.520
And his wife just comes sliding in naked onto the kitchen floor.
01:23:00.040
I do have one quick question before we get out of here.
01:23:03.920
So like we have a thousand people or something that watch the show every week, right?
01:23:07.440
Who of our listening audience forwarded that clip to Brad Palumbo to, like, create this
01:23:16.520
So what the fuck is happening with our audience?
01:23:29.680
Do you think that we have, like, haters that are watching?
01:23:38.700
I honestly wish this had played out that fucking Palumbo had dropped a clip and we'd be like,
01:23:55.540
We just quote tweeted with, like, this is as soft as we ever go.
01:23:59.620
You know, like, talking about Brad Palumbo doesn't make me soft, so.
01:24:07.440
Tune in next week when we just talk about a cum jar for two and a half a day.
01:24:12.720
We're going to circle back to the cum jar because we got a lot of stuff.
01:24:16.080
Back a few episodes and we giggled the Holocaust revisionism.
01:24:18.860
You have no idea how deep this whole goes, folks.
01:24:26.940
There's probably still a lot to say about the cum jar, man.
01:24:30.440
I mean, maybe the guys, like, got, like, this hoarder mentality, you know, and it's a jar of memories.
01:24:37.480
But it's a fucking jar filled with a cum that's indiscriminate.
01:24:41.880
Like, you can't differentiate between the loads.
01:24:44.760
It's just a fucking jar filled with your old load.
01:24:49.660
No, what if it's, like, striated, you know, like, the layers of the earth or whatever?
01:24:56.940
This is when I came to Denise Richards in 1997.
01:25:02.220
Here's my question is, like, how many jars do you think that guy filled all the way up before his wife found out?
01:25:15.020
I hope that he, like, threw them at, like, cop cars.
01:25:18.760
No, seriously, that's a great question because what's so remarkable about this story is that he's not embarrassed about it.
01:25:26.480
He's upset because he's going to have to start over a new jar, which means that there is some sort of achievement metric that's going into this.
01:25:34.860
Like, I have now filled this jar to its capacity.
01:25:43.660
He goes out and buys himself a steak dinner for one.
01:25:50.920
You have your wife go lay down in the yard, and you just shoot the cum.
01:26:02.400
Have you guys ever seen the fuck that bear thing?
01:26:08.160
I mean, I wish we could do straight up porn on this because there was, like, this porn my buddy sent me forever ago,
01:26:13.260
which is literally this, like, these people shoot a bear, like, literally hunting, and then fuck on top of the bear.
01:26:21.000
You guys are going to have to go check that out later.
01:26:22.480
But they were fucking on top of the bear, and they weren't fucking the bear.
01:26:25.900
It was, like, a freshly killed bear, and they were fucking up.
01:26:28.200
Like a still-worn dead bear, and they're just laying on it.
01:26:35.580
But I will say, I want to give harsh critique to Odyssey that I discovered today, thanks to Jose,
01:26:41.960
because I was like, we should stop putting our shit out on YouTube entirely and just, like, show death videos and porn and all sorts of crazy shit.
01:26:48.260
And I was informed that we are not allowed to do that on Odyssey.
01:26:57.600
I thought you guys believed in freedom and shit.
01:27:00.080
Jeremy Kaufman, you are now my fucking enemy, man.
01:27:04.060
Jeremy, if I can't beat off in real time on your platform, then you're a cuck, and that's a fact.
01:27:10.160
Did you guys watch that clip I sent you guys recently, which was, like, the people trolling, like, amateur porn people?
01:27:17.700
Like, they have them come over, kind of like an amateur casting type thing, and they just talk shit to them about their appearance and everything,
01:27:23.520
and be like, I bet your dad's really proud of you.
01:27:25.800
It's, like, so fucked up, but also so hilarious.
01:27:28.760
They just run, like, a fucking compilation of it.
01:27:42.680
This is our niche to show – I want to show, like – I want to watch the video of that dude in Australia getting his fucking carotid artery clipped in that cafeteria fight.
01:27:52.340
That's graphic and horrific, but I bet you we can make it funny.
01:27:56.840
I had shit pulled off YouTube recently in my – I did an intro with a bunch of clips of shit feds did, like fucked up shit they did,
01:28:04.040
and they pulled it for that, which I thought was hilarious.
01:28:06.140
Yeah, and I still want to make – I still want to make videos of black people legitimately defending themselves
01:28:13.260
Then I want to see – I want to watch videos of white people that are obviously committing murder
01:28:22.620
And Odyssey is making it impossible for me to be creative as possible.
01:28:26.880
All right, Clint, we can still do a segment where we show, like, confrontations between black people and cops,
01:28:51.560
Oh, and then we can have a spinoff where it's nerds fighting cops, and we call it Pork – oh, wait, no.
01:29:16.240
We can have Italians fighting cops, and it could be cop or wop.
01:29:21.920
Like, we need all of this to happen, but I want it to be fatalities.
01:29:33.960
We just put this fatality and be like, you know what?
01:29:41.140
But if it's ever a white person, we just defend whatever they do, no matter how we agree.
01:29:53.060
You can – today I had on Josie, who was on the hottest libertarian list.
01:29:56.700
If you want to check that episode out, it was a really good one.
01:30:04.520
Also, tomorrow I'm going to have on Royce from Revenge of the Sis, and then Friday I have on Anomaly, who's a great YouTuber.
01:30:14.500
And then next week, Alex Stein, and then Dave Smith.
01:30:21.280
Yeah, I have the No Way Jose show, YouTube, all the major audio podcast, which is Odyssey as well.
01:30:29.560
Big thing, like we mentioned earlier, the fucking Duncan Lemp's Widow thing.
01:30:35.640
The big thing that a lot of people are liking right now is my OKC series.
01:30:38.860
I've done like over seven hours in a deep dive on the OKC bombing, and there's still more to come.
01:30:48.380
I mean, I keep deferring that's completely lucked up, and I got essentially the Scott Horton of the OKC bombing, Richard Booth.
01:30:57.880
I just kind of give him easy questions and let him just go, and it's fucking amazing.
01:31:10.760
I'm now banned from Twitter again and likely to never get my account back, so I'm TPH Toad now.
01:31:19.800
I mean, no, it was actually – I got in a fight with this guy, and I'm almost positive that he reported me, and he reported all of my monkeypox tweets.
01:31:28.400
Like I said things were clearly reportable, and I got reported, and oh, my God.
01:31:35.360
I know I got banned for you saying that pride parades were monkeypox gate of function research, and for saying that the winter variant of monkeypox is going to be called the homocron variant.
01:31:57.580
I'm just like – the amount of outrage you had about getting, like, nuked, I was like, okay, really?
01:32:05.120
Dude, those – I've gone harder than that on Twitter.
01:32:10.480
But it's like – at this point, it's kind of like, all right, you know where the line is, and you crossed it.
01:32:17.880
Anyway, yeah, follow me there, TPH Toad, Tower Power Hour every Wednesday, and coming up, we're going to have September slurs where we have a tournament to determine the best slur, and we will – on one of the late August episodes, we've got to set the bracket for that.
01:32:36.180
And make sure that if you're in Colorado, go and see Kyle Ruff perform.
01:32:44.780
You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram at both KyleRuffComedy or SteamboatComedy.
01:32:50.840
That's all the posters behind me that you see that I make.
01:33:00.020
Check out the award-winning Steamboat Comedy podcast, and I'll be doing a show in Vail tomorrow night and then shows this weekend in Steamboat Springs, and I'll be in Denver on Sunday, and I'll be in Fort Collins on Monday.
01:33:19.500
Where are these award things at so we can get one?
01:33:22.920
Well, the award I won was best of the boat, and you have to be in Steamboat.
01:33:26.860
And so I nominated you, but no one voted, and I don't know why.
01:33:31.800
Because you're like, what the fuck's a tower game?
01:33:35.780
They're in business, and you see on their walls, like the awards, and you're like, who the fuck is doing these awards, these niche things?
01:33:44.700
So you say that, and I'm like, man, we need to get us to some of these weird niche award podcast things.
01:33:50.960
That way we have some bona fides to be like, hey, we're the fucking three-time award-winning in Seattle.
01:33:56.260
Jose did win number 11 hottest libertarian, so that goes a long way.
01:34:03.400
You guys know I'm not bullshitting, that my show regularly charts in the top 150 of news podcasts in America.
01:34:16.460
My highest ranking, I was like five behind part of the problem.
01:34:26.060
Yeah, just because he's number one on the list, yeah.
01:34:33.080
Make sure that you share this show with your most snowflake friends out there.
01:34:38.480
Whoever's really sensitive, send them this and say, this is a really interesting deep dive into critical race theory,
01:34:44.860
and I think you're going to learn a lot, and then just have them watch this episode and see if they kill themselves.
01:34:49.820
Or alternatively, I want every single one of our fans, every single episode, to send this to Palermo and say, they said faggot again.
01:35:05.000
And tell him to clip it and tweet it out to his 50,000 followers.
01:35:12.200
Jose and Toad would love it, but I would advise against it.
01:35:19.700
Everybody, like, comment, subscribe, help with the algos, and tune in next week when we get your mom pregnant.
01:35:29.040
Yeah, and we actually have video on Spotify, too.
01:35:31.460
And what's weird is our audio format podcast is actually really high quality.