TRIGGERnometry - October 25, 2023


Aella - Why I Became An Escort


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 9 minutes

Words per minute

195.32097

Word count

13,564

Sentence count

365

Harmful content

Misogyny

71

sentences flagged

Toxicity

203

sentences flagged

Hate speech

85

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Ayla is a sex worker. She grew up in a Christian conservative home and left to pursue her passion for sex work. In this episode, she talks about how she went from being raised in a religious family to working in the sex industry.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:01.000 Ayla, you go from Christian conservative family to OnlyFans star and sex worker. 0.95
00:00:07.780 How does that happen? 1.00
00:00:09.320 So I worked at a factory for a year and I was like, wow, this really sucks.
00:00:15.740 It's better than like a life spent working at the factory. That was really awful.
00:00:19.780 You think sex work is less bad than working in a factory?
00:00:24.640 I mean, it depends on the person, but for me and a lot of girls that I know who are in sex work, it was very, absolutely.
00:00:30.760 How do you be seductive?
00:00:32.200 If I lower my voice and talk slower and I don't use big words and I smile, make eye contact.
00:00:41.440 Yeah.
00:00:41.800 Yeah, I'm glad that we're that predictable. Every single one of us.
00:00:46.360 You must enjoy escorting.
00:00:48.940 Yep.
00:00:49.700 Clearly, right?
00:00:50.500 Which I was surprised to find, yeah. 0.99
00:00:51.820 Ayla, you go from Christian conservative family to OnlyFans star and sex worker. 0.95
00:01:00.280 How does that happen?
00:01:02.080 A long series of baby steps.
00:01:04.400 Okay, tell us.
00:01:05.740 Well, like when you're raised in a Christian conservative home, they kind of don't prepare you for the real world, at least not the way that mine worked. 0.96
00:01:12.140 So like homeschooled, expected to be a housewife kind of deal. 1.00
00:01:14.580 So I got in the real world and realistically, my options were not great. 0.53
00:01:19.360 So I worked at a factory for a year and I was like, wow, this really sucks.
00:01:24.160 I don't have an education and I'm really like culturally isolated from the world.
00:01:29.620 Like it was really hard to like get along and understand what was going on because, you know, we weren't allowed to watch a lot of normal media.
00:01:35.380 And so I had a friend who suggested trying camming because he did camming.
00:01:41.940 And then I was like really poor, sleeping on a friend's couch.
00:01:44.140 I was like, you know what, I'll give it a shot and made a lot of money the first night.
00:01:48.840 And then one thing led to another.
00:01:50.600 And I just like, oh, this is the way to like have many an agency when there was no other option for me.
00:01:57.900 Hmm. I'm guessing by this point, you would have had some kind of ideological shift as well, because not many Christian conservatives would be like, I'm working in a factory.
00:02:07.820 It sucks. Let's try camming. 0.99
00:02:10.000 It's quite a transition in terms of culture and all of that, right?
00:02:13.880 Yeah, very much.
00:02:14.640 I lost my faith maybe like a year or so after I left home, which was like a pretty rapid shift.
00:02:20.000 I think like the exposure to being in a non-Christian world really helped me be able to think that maybe Christianity was false. 0.94
00:02:27.900 Like, I think it's very difficult to actually consider that everything that you believe is wrong when every part of your culture is enmeshed with this.
00:02:36.580 Like, you don't know anyone who disagrees.
00:02:39.200 Like, I didn't know any non-Christians in my personal life.
00:02:42.400 So it's just like your brain just to some degree literally cannot consider this as an option.
00:02:47.140 Or at least it was quite hard.
00:02:48.420 It was quite hard for me.
00:02:49.460 And so I think after I finally left home and I was like briefly attempted to do college, I was surrounded by people who weren't Christian and they were living life and being happy and fine and it was okay somehow.
00:03:00.860 And then this somehow allowed some part of my subconscious to be like, maybe this is all false.
00:03:06.760 Is there any part of, because you talk about leaving Christianity, is there any part of religion that you miss?
00:03:12.460 Because there's a lot of people who say, you know what, it gives me a lot of structure, it gives me purpose, it gives me direction.
00:03:20.180 Yeah, absolutely.
00:03:20.980 It's like something that a lot of people have tried to replicate outside of religion and it's really hard to do for a lot of reasons.
00:03:25.140 But yeah, there's like the intense community.
00:03:28.860 You just have like a pre-built community that trusts each other.
00:03:31.980 Like a lot of help.
00:03:32.980 Like, for example, my family moved from California to Idaho when I was quite young.
00:03:36.440 And they just had like a church in Idaho, like send out all of their people to help us unload, move in and out of like various apartments for free for no reason.
00:03:46.940 It was just like because you're part of the community, you're part of the in-group, you get this kind of help.
00:03:51.800 And that's super cool.
00:03:53.660 I mean, it is.
00:03:54.340 And particularly nowadays where people are struggling for community.
00:03:58.220 I mean, did you find that difficult, the loss of a community, the loss of structure?
00:04:03.240 A bit.
00:04:04.020 I found community in other cam girls at the time, so that helped a lot.
00:04:07.200 And then I found rationalists, which in a lot of ways actually operate kind of similar to churches.
00:04:13.120 The fly finds you very attractive.
00:04:15.020 Yeah.
00:04:15.880 They can't stay away.
00:04:16.840 It's into you.
00:04:17.540 It's into you.
00:04:18.320 It's one of your fans.
00:04:18.940 So, you start camming.
00:04:23.780 And what's that like?
00:04:26.800 Great.
00:04:27.360 It was scary the first night, but after that it kind of got fine.
00:04:30.500 And I was pretty awkward.
00:04:31.400 Like, a lot of instruction about how to be flirty and seductive as a woman, like the general – like you watch movies, like teen movies about how you flirt and what kind of things mean what.
00:04:42.620 I didn't really have any of that.
00:04:44.140 Like to the degree where I remember my first time at a bar, somebody walked up to me and offered me, like, can I buy you a drink?
00:04:49.840 And I was like, sure.
00:04:50.880 And they bought me a drink and I just took it and I walked away.
00:04:53.840 I didn't understand that that was like a cultural indication of interest.
00:04:58.180 To me, it was literally, I want to give you money for alcohol.
00:05:01.460 And I'm like, that is a nice stranger.
00:05:03.300 So, it's like this level of not understanding.
00:05:05.260 You're very literal, Ayla.
00:05:06.900 Very literal.
00:05:07.460 Literally, yeah.
00:05:09.260 Like, someone comes up to you, gives you a drink, you're like, thank you, and just walk away.
00:05:12.780 That guy must have been devastated.
00:05:14.320 Yeah, I know.
00:05:15.060 I feel really bad looking in hindsight. 1.00
00:05:17.280 He's like, oh, he probably thinks women are bitches. 0.99
00:05:18.760 But no, I'm just either autistic or homeschooled or both. 1.00
00:05:24.080 Unclear.
00:05:25.540 But yeah, so I really did not have a lot of the organic understanding of what it's like to be a seductive woman.
00:05:32.260 Like, how are you supposed to signal us?
00:05:33.640 And so, a lot of my early years, camming was very goofy.
00:05:38.420 I just was very funny. 0.90
00:05:40.780 I was a mime, a sex mime. 0.85
00:05:44.240 And I would do just wacky stuff all the time before eventually figuring out that that's not the best way to make money.
00:05:49.420 So, it's interesting.
00:05:52.540 It sounds to me like you've had to almost kind of mechanically work out how to do certain things that you didn't get from your upbringing or whatever.
00:06:02.060 And one of them is being seductive.
00:06:03.980 How do you be seductive?
00:06:05.340 Well, it's a multi-step process.
00:06:08.100 So, what I'm doing right now, this is not seductive.
00:06:10.020 If I were, like, trying to, like, eek you for all the money you had, there's no way that this would work.
00:06:14.300 But if I, like, adjust my posture slightly, and if I lower my voice and talk slower, and I don't use big words, and I smile, make eye contact, and really drop, like, my sphere of energy into my lower stomach, then it does a lot better.
00:06:39.860 Yeah.
00:06:40.260 Yeah.
00:06:40.820 I'm glad that we're that predictable.
00:06:43.000 Every single one of us.
00:06:44.620 That makes sense.
00:06:46.640 Logically.
00:06:47.740 Logically, that makes sense.
00:06:48.980 But it took me so long to figure that out.
00:06:50.660 Like, when I was camming, I had a paper with, like, rules for myself.
00:06:54.580 So, with camming, it's very rapid feedback.
00:06:56.860 You get, like, live people coming in.
00:06:58.580 You see the numbers of your room rise and fall depending on what you're doing.
00:07:01.900 You see your money per hour averaged over the last 60 days is shown as a score.
00:07:05.620 This is my free cams.
00:07:06.420 So, you get, like, very rapid instruction about the kinds of behaviors you're doing that work or not.
00:07:11.280 So, I had a paper behind my webcam, which is the rules I eventually figured out, which was smile always, keep eye contact with the camera, talk really slowly, way slower than you think you need to, and use simple language.
00:07:24.900 Just, and that, when I did that, my money increased quite a lot.
00:07:29.080 Why do you think you have to use simple language?
00:07:31.920 It's, like, I think it's, there's, like, a couple theories, some of them flattering and some of them not.
00:07:37.400 Like, one of them is, like, if you're very horny, you're probably not thinking in, like, higher-brained language.
00:07:42.920 You're probably just, which is kind of true, right?
00:07:45.560 Which is legitimate.
00:07:46.360 So, if you want to give, like, a really intentional signal that you are aroused, you know, you probably shouldn't be using multi-syllabic language or whatever.
00:07:55.300 But another one is that, like, you don't want to appear too intimidating.
00:07:58.480 Like, you want to be accessible.
00:07:59.680 This is, like, one of the biggest rules for seduction is you want to be as accessible as possible and as reactive as possible.
00:08:05.160 And if you're using, like, a big language, maybe it's subtly signaling to the men that, like, oh, I'm going to have to try harder to have an impact on her in the way that I want.
00:08:14.320 And, Ayla, was this OnlyFans or was this a platform before OnlyFans when you started?
00:08:18.340 This is my free cams, which is actually owned by the person who bought OnlyFans before I got big.
00:08:22.380 Okay, and this was, what year was this?
00:08:25.300 This was when I was, like, 21, or 20 years old to 25 or 26.
00:08:31.620 Cool.
00:08:32.180 So, that was how long ago now?
00:08:33.840 And I'm 31.
00:08:34.620 Okay, all right.
00:08:35.740 So, because I'm just trying to work out at what point of the internet.
00:08:39.120 Because now, apparently, OnlyFans is super competitive.
00:08:43.180 Yeah, super competitive.
00:08:44.860 So, when you started, that was, was it like a gold rush era for camming?
00:08:50.720 No, camming had been around, like, maybe 5, 10 years earlier before I started.
00:08:55.580 It was sort of the golden era, but it wasn't, like, a spike in the way that we see this happen to OnlyFans.
00:09:00.280 So, the OnlyFans, like, came in and it changed the world.
00:09:02.380 And with, like, my free cams and related cams sites, it was, like, a slow climb over, you know, the early 2000s.
00:09:08.880 Yeah.
00:09:09.580 You say changed the world.
00:09:10.820 How did OnlyFans change the world?
00:09:12.580 It's just radically changed the internet.
00:09:14.360 Like, I'm a big internet person.
00:09:16.440 I feel like internet is my culture.
00:09:17.920 I grew up on the internet.
00:09:18.940 I love the internet.
00:09:20.060 And the introduction of OnlyFans, like, modified rules across the internet in order to handle OnlyFans.
00:09:26.420 Like, one of the things that I'm not sure if OnlyFans did intentionally, but might be genius, is that they don't have internal discovery.
00:09:32.860 Which is, like, for example, what my free cams had in every other public sex site, as far as I can tell, had internal discovery.
00:09:40.000 That's, like, the value that it's giving.
00:09:42.080 But the OnlyFans, if you sign up...
00:09:42.980 Internal discovery is when you can be found on the platform by accident or by being recommended.
00:09:49.660 Is that what internal...
00:09:50.380 Yeah, by, like, recommendation.
00:09:52.200 Like YouTube, right?
00:09:52.740 Yeah.
00:09:52.860 You watch a video, you get a bunch of suggestions.
00:09:54.940 That's what you're talking about.
00:09:56.140 Right, yeah.
00:09:56.500 So, if you put a video on YouTube, you expect YouTube to provide the viewers to your video.
00:10:00.700 Yes.
00:10:01.080 You don't have to go out and, like, post on Twitter and be like, hey, guys, come see my video.
00:10:04.660 Yes.
00:10:05.460 So, with OnlyFans, they have no internal discovery.
00:10:07.820 Which means that if I'm a girl on OnlyFans and I want subscribers, what do I have to do?
00:10:11.920 I have to go out to other websites and post my link and try and convince people to come subscribe to me.
00:10:17.560 And this is just every user on OnlyFans that makes any money has to do this.
00:10:21.760 Which means that we saw, like, a rapid influx of any place on the internet that allowed not-safe-for-work posting just became completely dominated by OnlyFans.
00:10:29.460 And they had to change the rules to handle that.
00:10:32.160 And why wouldn't you use your own website to do that?
00:10:34.460 Where do you get the traffic for that website?
00:10:36.580 But you are having to bring the traffic to OnlyFans.
00:10:39.180 Yes.
00:10:39.520 So, Reddit, for example, is a great thing.
00:10:41.760 Or TikTok or Instagram.
00:10:43.540 Those things will promote your video to other people.
00:10:45.780 Those have internal discovery.
00:10:46.860 So, you post something that, like, is a sexy video to one of these platforms and then people see it.
00:10:51.980 And then you have a funnel and then they go find your OnlyFans.
00:10:54.940 I know.
00:10:55.500 But what I'm saying is why would you not just use your own website instead of OnlyFans?
00:10:59.460 Oh, well, it's very hard.
00:11:00.720 So, I did look into this.
00:11:01.820 Sorry.
00:11:02.160 I misunderstood what you were saying.
00:11:03.980 Because, like, OnlyFans takes 20% and you're like, maybe I could get it.
00:11:06.300 That's what I'm saying.
00:11:07.180 Right.
00:11:07.500 But payment processors are terrible.
00:11:09.300 If you want to use payment processors to accept funds for what you're building and you're selling not-safe-for-work stuff, the fees are massive.
00:11:17.660 And I think it's my understanding that OnlyFans, because they're doing such huge volume, manage to negotiate some sort of, like, lower fees for those payment processors.
00:11:25.720 But if you're doing it as an individual, you have no bargaining power.
00:11:28.600 And I looked into it and it was just, you can't, I wouldn't be able to, I would be losing 20% easily.
00:11:34.040 And just for the cost of setting up the website, it's just not worth it.
00:11:36.660 And, I mean, OnlyFans is one of those things that became super successful over the pandemic.
00:11:42.900 I mean, do you know how much is turnover now at OnlyFans?
00:11:45.980 How much money are they making?
00:11:47.040 They must be making...
00:11:47.900 I don't know.
00:11:48.920 Massive, still.
00:11:50.700 Because it just seems that it just hit the zeitgeist, whereas before I'd never even been aware of it.
00:11:56.340 Yeah, it was around for years beforehand.
00:11:58.480 It started in 2017, I think.
00:11:59.780 I think that's what I joined.
00:12:00.540 I remember joining OnlyFans and nobody was on it.
00:12:03.060 Nobody had heard of it.
00:12:03.740 And I, like, posted some things and made, like, 40 bucks and then never signed on again.
00:12:08.760 So it's really weird.
00:12:10.080 And why do you think, I mean, not to state the obvious too much, but there's a lot of porn on the internet.
00:12:15.680 Yeah.
00:12:15.960 I don't know if you've noticed.
00:12:16.700 Why do you think the camming thing is taken off in the way that it has, as opposed to watching, you know, a recorded video produced by a porn studio or whatever?
00:12:32.380 I think there's a subset of men for which it's very interesting.
00:12:35.040 Like, lots of guys, like, don't care about the thing where you pay for an interaction.
00:12:37.640 But we have examples like strip clubs throughout history are really nice.
00:12:40.840 You go and the girl, you know, makes you feel special for a little while.
00:12:43.120 And I think that's a big part of why OnlyFans and camming are successful.
00:12:46.780 It's because, like, despite the stereotypes for a lot of men, like, sex is not completely separable from romantic interaction.
00:12:54.400 Like, it's very much about validation.
00:12:56.160 Like, guys, like, when I was an escort, about 80%, I would say, roughly, of men really wanted to make sure I had a good time.
00:13:03.000 Even though they didn't have to, they were paying me a ridiculous amount of money for me to do whatever they wanted.
00:13:08.180 And they spent that time trying to please me.
00:13:11.220 And so I think, like, what guys really want is, like, for a woman to sort of, like, gaze upon him sexually and be like, yes, you are valuable. 0.76
00:13:18.300 I am sexually aroused by you. 0.86
00:13:20.660 I affirm you as a sexual being. 0.99
00:13:22.960 And that's not something that porn can do.
00:13:24.840 And who's the type of person that uses OnlyFans?
00:13:28.660 Is it all male?
00:13:29.900 Is it male and female?
00:13:32.000 Does it have, like, a component where a couple will watch a cam girl together?
00:13:37.780 Occasionally, but it's quite low.
00:13:39.460 I haven't actually, like, tracked stats for this, but off the top of my head, I'd say 99% male.
00:13:43.780 Yeah.
00:13:44.200 Every once in a while, I get, like, a couple being like, hey, we watched you together.
00:13:47.880 And then even rarer than that, I get, like, a lady who's like, I'm gay, I'm really into you.
00:13:52.320 But it's almost entirely men.
00:13:53.740 It's almost entirely men. 0.96
00:13:54.880 I mean, look, that does make a lot of sense.
00:13:58.780 And when did you know that you were onto something, that you could make this really work for you?
00:14:04.740 For OnlyFans?
00:14:05.460 Yeah.
00:14:05.860 Pretty fast.
00:14:06.840 The thing is, like, I just happened to already be in a position for OnlyFans to work for me.
00:14:11.340 I've been doing sex work for a long time.
00:14:13.080 But I'm not very, I'm not, like, a top 10 at charisma skill in person.
00:14:18.580 So if I'm doing a thing where I have to seduce a lot of men by acting like this, like, it's quite,
00:14:22.160 I have to figure it out top down.
00:14:23.860 A lot of girls are able to emanate this bottom up. 1.00
00:14:26.280 But with OnlyFans, the strength is not in being charismatic.
00:14:28.760 The strength is in knowing how to market, how to, like, how to market to men, how to do funnels,
00:14:33.880 how to, like, track conversion.
00:14:34.840 And, like, most of my job with OnlyFans was not posting to OnlyFans.
00:14:38.960 It was, like, 80% sitting behind spreadsheets when I was doing it for the time.
00:14:42.980 Doesn't sound that sexy when you say it like that.
00:14:45.640 It's not.
00:14:46.720 And I'm curious.
00:14:47.860 I mean, obviously, the one thing we haven't talked about, and this isn't going to be news to you,
00:14:52.960 but doing sex work online exposes you to a lot of people.
00:14:58.780 And with that come certain risks.
00:15:00.920 So here you are.
00:15:01.800 You have a factory job.
00:15:02.820 You try this camming for a night.
00:15:04.860 You make more money than you make at the factory.
00:15:09.060 Did you at that point think, well, like, this is not, this has got some serious trade-offs,
00:15:14.320 let's put it like that?
00:15:15.840 I mean, in contrast to the factory, like, I mean, I was vaguely aware of them.
00:15:20.500 But, like, my current life was so bad, I was willing to take them.
00:15:23.480 And in hindsight, it's still worth it.
00:15:25.300 But for a long time, it wasn't that bad because I wasn't super well-known.
00:15:29.420 And it's been getting worse recently.
00:15:31.820 But it does, there are downsides.
00:15:33.460 Like, I'm not saying that, like, every girl should just go try sex work.
00:15:36.240 If you're desperate, it's probably better for you because, like, even with the downsides,
00:15:39.240 it's better than, like, a life spent working at the factory.
00:15:41.560 That was really awful.
00:15:43.580 Do you think sex work is less bad than working in a factory?
00:15:48.720 I mean, it depends on the person.
00:15:49.860 People have different constitutions and tolerance for things.
00:15:52.380 Like, I'm not universally recommending it.
00:15:54.740 But for me and a lot of girls that I know who are in sex work, it was very, absolutely.
00:15:59.400 They're like, I can't believe that people are so, this happens all the time.
00:16:02.980 I'm like, oh, I'm in sex work.
00:16:03.820 And people are like, oh, are you okay?
00:16:04.920 Like, are you worried about the downsides, you know?
00:16:06.640 And I'm like, nobody ever said that to me when I worked at the factory,
00:16:09.700 which was way worse for my mental health.
00:16:11.780 I was, like, drinking to cope.
00:16:13.500 And that's, like, a classic sign of, like, oh, this is really hard for you.
00:16:16.260 I've never had a drink to cope with being a sex worker.
00:16:18.920 But I think the thing that people think when they see sex works,
00:16:23.280 one of the downsides, shall we say, is a reputational damage, Ayla.
00:16:26.860 Yeah, definitely.
00:16:27.840 Particularly for a woman.
00:16:28.900 You know, if you then want to move on and you want to leave,
00:16:31.680 because there's going to be a time, I assume,
00:16:33.160 that you're going to want to leave this behind.
00:16:34.640 I don't know if you want to start a family,
00:16:36.180 if you want to get married, all of those things.
00:16:38.500 And you go, that's something you can never truly leave behind, is it?
00:16:42.660 Absolutely.
00:16:44.700 Although I suspect that when most people are evaluating this,
00:16:47.620 they're, like, not aware of how different cultures can be.
00:16:50.720 Like, I think the thing that you're describing would be true
00:16:53.060 for a pretty large majority of American culture
00:16:56.000 and probably in general Western culture,
00:16:58.140 and especially non-Western culture.
00:17:01.420 We're going to keep going.
00:17:02.840 Yeah, can't imagine it would go down well in Saudi Arabia.
00:17:05.260 No.
00:17:06.020 Although I'm sure there's plenty of consumers from Saudi Arabia.
00:17:08.480 But anyway, carry on.
00:17:09.200 Yeah, but this has legitimately never been a problem in my life
00:17:13.500 because I'm polyamorous,
00:17:14.900 and there's just, like, a whole subculture,
00:17:16.880 thriving subculture of people who are pretty sexually open
00:17:19.260 and don't mind it.
00:17:20.580 Like, in my friend groups,
00:17:22.440 especially in the Bay when I live there, 0.99
00:17:24.820 people don't give a shit. 0.99
00:17:27.220 Like, I'll go up and I'll say, 0.99
00:17:28.140 hey, I'm a sex worker on dates,
00:17:29.180 and a guy will be like, oh, yeah, 0.51
00:17:30.200 my ex-girlfriend was a sex worker too. 0.99
00:17:31.820 She really liked it.
00:17:33.480 Like, it's a very common conversation.
00:17:34.640 It's just not a thing that registers as an issue.
00:17:37.820 Really?
00:17:38.140 Like, you know, I've always thought I'm very liberal.
00:17:41.100 Maybe I'm just old and conservative
00:17:43.580 because I can't get my head...
00:17:45.440 Look, I can't get my head around polyamory.
00:17:48.440 Please explain it to me.
00:17:49.780 Like, what are the benefits?
00:17:51.040 Like, to me, it just looks like needless admin,
00:17:53.780 complications, frustrations.
00:17:57.020 Is it...
00:17:58.980 Just explain it to me, please.
00:18:01.120 I don't understand.
00:18:02.780 Well, I mean, you're not wrong,
00:18:04.740 but the full story, I think,
00:18:06.140 is a little bit more nuanced.
00:18:07.360 Yeah.
00:18:07.480 Like, I did a study where I measured,
00:18:09.440 I think, 30,000 people.
00:18:10.560 I asked them about their relationship.
00:18:11.920 I had them do a survey.
00:18:13.160 I asked them, how polyamorous,
00:18:14.200 how monogamous are you on a scale
00:18:15.500 from, like, one to seven?
00:18:17.240 And then I asked them a whole bunch of questions
00:18:18.500 about the quality of their relationship,
00:18:19.740 how much sex, 0.55
00:18:20.220 how long have you been in this relationship?
00:18:21.940 And people who are fully monogamous
00:18:24.360 and fully polyamorous
00:18:25.300 have roughly the same relationship quality.
00:18:28.140 They've been in relationships
00:18:28.880 for the same amount of time,
00:18:29.980 so it's not like people who are poly
00:18:31.700 are breaking up more.
00:18:33.020 And they were like,
00:18:33.920 yeah, it's still going strong.
00:18:35.660 But people in the middle
00:18:36.800 had much worse ratings.
00:18:39.620 And the problem is,
00:18:40.660 if you're going to be selecting
00:18:42.080 from a poly population,
00:18:43.280 most people who aren't monogamous
00:18:44.720 are only slightly not monogamous.
00:18:46.840 They're, like, a little bit poly.
00:18:48.080 The majority of all people
00:18:49.320 who are not monogamous
00:18:50.220 are in the middle.
00:18:52.320 So if you're just selecting randomly
00:18:54.320 for the non-monogamous population,
00:18:56.200 it's going to look pretty bad.
00:18:57.560 What does slightly poly mean?
00:18:59.480 Usually a married couple
00:19:01.040 opens their relationship
00:19:02.020 but they still,
00:19:03.940 they date together.
00:19:05.080 Or a married couple
00:19:05.720 opens their relationship
00:19:06.540 but, like, the person
00:19:07.500 isn't having a full-time relationship.
00:19:09.240 It's just sex.
00:19:10.380 Like, that's an example.
00:19:11.680 So the question, I guess,
00:19:13.480 I want to ask is,
00:19:14.420 how do you divorce sex from feelings?
00:19:16.080 Or are these people
00:19:17.120 who, by their nature
00:19:19.280 or biologically,
00:19:20.400 able to do that very easily?
00:19:22.140 Yeah, my guess to some degree
00:19:23.320 it's innate and genetic.
00:19:24.460 A lot of poly people
00:19:25.140 I know, myself included,
00:19:26.220 like, don't really process jealousy
00:19:27.580 the same way.
00:19:28.600 Like, I remember
00:19:29.140 before I had heard of polyamorous
00:19:30.580 trying to date this guy
00:19:31.360 when I was a teenager.
00:19:32.300 And he went and he was like,
00:19:33.260 I caught him sexting
00:19:33.960 with another girl.
00:19:35.000 And I was like,
00:19:36.620 grr, don't do that. 0.64
00:19:38.740 Like, but I remember not really,
00:19:39.940 I was like,
00:19:41.000 I couldn't summon the genuine anger
00:19:42.640 because I'm like,
00:19:43.120 what does this have to do with me? 0.95
00:19:44.560 Like, he still wants to have sex with me, 0.57
00:19:46.000 he still loves me. 0.95
00:19:46.660 Like, I don't understand
00:19:47.320 why this is hurting me in any way.
00:19:49.580 And then as soon as I heard of polyamory,
00:19:50.940 I was like, oh yeah.
00:19:51.880 So my guess is if you're thinking
00:19:52.880 of this closer to, like,
00:19:53.980 almost to sexual orientation,
00:19:55.460 I think that this,
00:19:56.560 I'm not necessarily accurate,
00:19:58.060 but I think this explains
00:19:58.920 a lot closer to what's going on.
00:20:00.300 Like, people are just processing
00:20:01.780 relationships differently.
00:20:03.160 And if you have a whole bunch
00:20:03.780 of those people in a culture,
00:20:04.800 it goes pretty well.
00:20:06.260 But the problem is
00:20:07.180 you have to be quite dedicated
00:20:08.280 for it to seem to go well,
00:20:10.120 at least in my data.
00:20:10.880 I think a lot of people
00:20:12.640 are doing the partial thing
00:20:13.780 as a way to sort of solve problems
00:20:16.000 that exist in previous relationships.
00:20:17.840 Like, if you have monogamous people
00:20:19.600 going, oh, we're going to try,
00:20:21.040 you know, opening it up
00:20:21.880 because, like, we're having these issues.
00:20:23.220 I'm like, if you're opening it up
00:20:24.680 to solve issues,
00:20:25.480 it's not going to solve
00:20:26.400 your relationship.
00:20:27.640 Like, now you're just going to be poly
00:20:28.720 with a terrible relationship.
00:20:30.620 Yeah.
00:20:30.920 And it's also as well,
00:20:32.220 I think, you know,
00:20:33.040 there's an element of fashion to it
00:20:34.480 where kind of no one wants
00:20:35.700 to be like a straight white dude anymore.
00:20:37.360 Like, everybody, like, wants to be,
00:20:39.320 you know, something fluid
00:20:40.280 or polys is something else.
00:20:43.860 But I just don't think
00:20:45.960 many people are compatible with it.
00:20:47.560 I think most people
00:20:48.620 would really struggle
00:20:50.020 to see their girlfriend go off
00:20:52.140 and get, you know, 1.00
00:20:54.020 have sex with another dude. 0.97
00:20:56.020 I think to some degree you're right. 0.97
00:20:57.980 But there is a thing where,
00:20:59.640 so one, most people
00:21:00.600 kind of aren't monogamous.
00:21:02.580 Anyway, you want your,
00:21:03.840 you don't want your partner 1.00
00:21:04.500 to go fuck other people, 1.00
00:21:05.320 but you want to, right? 1.00
00:21:07.360 Like, the cheating rates
00:21:08.180 in long-term relationships
00:21:08.980 are really high.
00:21:09.980 Like, if you measure cheating rates
00:21:11.140 by the amount of time
00:21:12.240 you've been in the relationship
00:21:13.180 and not by age,
00:21:14.220 which is what most cheating rates do,
00:21:15.760 it seems to be much higher,
00:21:17.180 like 40, 45%.
00:21:18.560 Yeah.
00:21:19.440 It's really depressing.
00:21:21.040 So most people, by action,
00:21:22.840 in a world where we
00:21:23.800 are horribly punished cheating,
00:21:25.220 are still cheating
00:21:25.960 at really high rates,
00:21:27.000 which makes me think
00:21:27.600 that we're not inherently monogamous
00:21:29.220 in the way that we would,
00:21:30.320 like, aspire to be.
00:21:31.640 This doesn't mean
00:21:32.160 you shouldn't do it.
00:21:33.960 Well, monogamy,
00:21:34.720 people would argue,
00:21:35.640 I mean, Louise Perry,
00:21:36.320 who you've done a debate with,
00:21:37.540 who's a friend of ours,
00:21:39.460 she would argue monogamy 1.00
00:21:41.100 is an adaptation
00:21:41.980 for stabilizing society
00:21:44.400 that works very well
00:21:45.760 to do that.
00:21:47.620 I think this is probably true
00:21:49.060 at some points in history.
00:21:50.780 Do you not think it's true now?
00:21:52.620 My guess is that
00:21:53.640 it is not sustainably true now.
00:21:56.320 Or rather that, like,
00:21:58.260 there are a lot of things
00:21:59.500 which are good
00:22:00.140 if you only have the capacity
00:22:01.880 to process, like,
00:22:02.720 simple nuance.
00:22:04.040 Like, it's probably
00:22:05.720 if you have,
00:22:07.840 let's see,
00:22:08.200 I'm trying to think of an example.
00:22:09.840 If you have somebody
00:22:11.160 who, like, abused their wife,
00:22:13.040 it's probably good
00:22:14.080 as a social construct
00:22:14.920 to just, like,
00:22:15.480 punish that person.
00:22:16.460 But if we have the capacity
00:22:17.700 as a society
00:22:18.520 to make nuance
00:22:19.240 between did you do it,
00:22:20.500 like, because you had
00:22:21.220 a brain tumor
00:22:21.780 and we remove the brain tumor,
00:22:23.980 you no longer feel
00:22:24.920 violent urges,
00:22:26.220 then I would say
00:22:27.100 it would be good
00:22:27.920 to make this nuance distinction.
00:22:29.780 And so, like,
00:22:30.180 I think that a lot
00:22:30.920 of these rules
00:22:31.640 are sort of good
00:22:32.220 for more simplistic
00:22:33.000 versions of society
00:22:33.880 where just culturally
00:22:34.700 we don't have the ability
00:22:35.960 at scale
00:22:36.680 to determine nuance.
00:22:38.360 But I feel like
00:22:38.980 we're kind of hitting
00:22:39.640 the point in culture
00:22:41.100 where we are able to.
00:22:42.840 And I'm like,
00:22:43.600 the reality is
00:22:44.700 if we are going
00:22:45.540 to look at the nuance,
00:22:46.540 like, monogamy 0.88
00:22:47.340 is, like, stable
00:22:48.120 in some ways,
00:22:48.840 but there's lots of versions
00:22:49.700 of non-monogamy
00:22:50.320 that have been stable
00:22:50.980 throughout history
00:22:51.660 and a lot of people
00:22:53.080 are deeply unhappy in it.
00:22:54.920 And is there a way
00:22:55.880 that we can figure out
00:22:56.740 to move forward
00:22:57.380 where we are not
00:22:58.240 crushing people's souls?
00:22:59.620 Like, if you look
00:23:00.120 at satisfaction rates,
00:23:01.100 happiness rates
00:23:01.620 in really long-term
00:23:02.320 monogamous relationships,
00:23:03.360 they're really low.
00:23:04.420 And to be fair,
00:23:04.860 they're not great
00:23:05.420 in polyamory either.
00:23:06.380 But I'm saying, like,
00:23:06.880 whatever we're doing,
00:23:07.860 like, whatever conception
00:23:08.560 we're having
00:23:09.080 about relationships,
00:23:10.440 like, I believe
00:23:11.980 that we can figure out
00:23:13.300 a way to move forward
00:23:14.340 and to, like,
00:23:15.000 figure out how
00:23:15.420 to raise happiness
00:23:16.100 and it's probably
00:23:16.780 not going to look
00:23:17.320 like the thing
00:23:17.700 it used to look like.
00:23:18.780 No, and it's
00:23:20.360 an interesting point.
00:23:21.080 I suppose the one thing
00:23:22.060 is that what you're
00:23:23.460 talking about
00:23:24.020 is essentially
00:23:24.560 you're saying
00:23:25.080 there is room
00:23:26.120 for subcultures
00:23:27.200 to exist within society
00:23:28.700 where people can go
00:23:30.120 and live in the way
00:23:31.200 that's suitable for them.
00:23:32.740 The bit that that leaves out
00:23:34.180 is the raising of children
00:23:35.700 because you may be poly
00:23:39.200 and you will be with,
00:23:40.820 I suppose,
00:23:41.340 several people
00:23:42.220 over the course
00:23:43.160 of your lifetime.
00:23:43.760 If you were to have kids,
00:23:45.500 you don't know
00:23:46.240 if you've got
00:23:46.980 a genetically
00:23:47.680 poly-predisposed kid
00:23:49.320 and they're being raised
00:23:50.440 in that culture,
00:23:51.660 just kind of like
00:23:52.340 you were raised
00:23:52.900 in a Christian
00:23:54.020 conservative culture
00:23:54.940 and you had to go
00:23:55.540 and find a different one,
00:23:56.440 right?
00:23:57.560 So it complicates
00:23:58.820 the raising of children
00:23:59.700 because norms
00:24:00.940 that exist,
00:24:02.480 they exclude
00:24:03.520 minority people
00:24:04.740 but they also
00:24:06.100 give the majority
00:24:07.120 a structure
00:24:07.820 for how to live life
00:24:08.900 without which
00:24:09.980 people will be lost
00:24:11.500 quite a lot of the time.
00:24:12.460 Would that be fair to say?
00:24:13.440 I think that this is true
00:24:14.740 but you could argue
00:24:15.520 should we not have 0.99
00:24:16.200 gay people raising kids? 0.98
00:24:17.640 And some people
00:24:18.120 do argue this
00:24:18.800 but they are a minority
00:24:19.920 raising children
00:24:20.920 and we generally
00:24:22.080 seem to be okay
00:24:23.060 with this
00:24:23.520 and secondarily
00:24:25.460 like my guess
00:24:26.020 is that probably
00:24:26.600 more people
00:24:27.400 are interested
00:24:28.160 in some degree
00:24:28.860 of the poly-spectrum
00:24:29.720 than we think.
00:24:31.220 Like we have such
00:24:31.820 like can you remember
00:24:33.000 the last romantic movie
00:24:34.520 you saw that was
00:24:35.160 polyamorous?
00:24:36.640 No.
00:24:37.200 Yeah, they don't exist.
00:24:38.920 We just don't have monogamy.
00:24:40.340 Give it a couple of years,
00:24:41.460 Aya.
00:24:42.120 I reckon we're gonna
00:24:43.020 see one soon.
00:24:44.600 I would hope so.
00:24:45.800 Yeah.
00:24:46.060 The thing is like
00:24:46.500 we have like a lot
00:24:47.200 of like gay cinema
00:24:48.380 but we have nothing
00:24:50.080 for polyamory at all
00:24:51.440 and we have like
00:24:52.500 a whole culture
00:24:53.160 that's structured
00:24:53.680 to show monogamous people
00:24:55.100 like how to live.
00:24:56.260 This is,
00:24:56.860 these are the subtle
00:24:57.920 social rules
00:24:58.900 for how to communicate
00:24:59.900 with each other
00:25:00.460 in a monogamous setting
00:25:01.560 which I think is great.
00:25:02.700 Like it really helps
00:25:03.380 it run a lot smoother
00:25:04.340 and if you,
00:25:06.380 and my guess is
00:25:06.900 if we had some instructions
00:25:08.240 like some cultural
00:25:09.240 media instructions
00:25:10.180 for like how do
00:25:10.940 poly relationships work?
00:25:12.300 How do you handle jealousy?
00:25:14.500 Because we just
00:25:15.220 don't know this
00:25:15.900 and I think it would
00:25:16.980 make it go a lot smoother
00:25:17.840 and I think probably
00:25:18.680 a lot more people
00:25:19.200 would feel comfortable
00:25:20.300 trying a poly lifestyle
00:25:21.360 in a way that actually
00:25:22.660 ends up being successful
00:25:23.520 but that is slightly
00:25:25.320 besides your point.
00:25:27.100 Personally,
00:25:27.760 so I think it is true
00:25:28.720 it does seem that
00:25:29.880 poly people raise 1.00
00:25:31.060 a lot fewer children.
00:25:32.560 In my data
00:25:33.000 they have kids
00:25:34.080 at around half the rate
00:25:35.000 of people who report
00:25:35.700 to being monogamous
00:25:36.380 even controlling for age
00:25:37.760 and relationship length
00:25:39.040 which is not great
00:25:40.360 but I know a lot of people
00:25:41.860 poly people who do raise kids
00:25:43.120 successfully.
00:25:45.720 Broadway's smash hit
00:25:46.980 The Neil Diamond Musical
00:25:48.280 A Beautiful Noise
00:25:49.660 is coming to Toronto
00:25:51.140 the true story
00:25:52.160 of a kid from Brooklyn
00:25:53.240 destined for something more
00:25:54.780 featuring all the songs
00:25:55.920 you love
00:25:56.540 including America
00:25:57.640 Forever in Blue Jeans
00:25:58.980 and Sweet Caroline
00:26:00.080 like Jersey Boys 0.86
00:26:01.620 and Beautiful
00:26:02.240 the next musical
00:26:03.420 mega hit is here
00:26:04.540 The Neil Diamond Musical
00:26:06.040 A Beautiful Noise
00:26:07.400 April 28th
00:26:08.480 through June 7th
00:26:09.460 2026
00:26:10.420 The Princess of Wales Theatre
00:26:12.020 Get tickets at
00:26:13.180 Mervish.com
00:26:14.340 Hey guys
00:26:17.440 Trigonometry
00:26:18.300 needs your help
00:26:19.340 We took a big risk
00:26:20.620 creating the show
00:26:21.540 and for us to keep doing
00:26:23.020 the incredible work
00:26:24.380 that you all love
00:26:25.840 we need your support
00:26:27.560 That's the only way
00:26:28.680 we're going to stay independent
00:26:30.120 and create content
00:26:31.140 that you won't be able
00:26:32.040 to find anywhere else
00:26:33.080 There is no other podcast
00:26:34.520 where you'll hear
00:26:35.360 interviews with
00:26:36.160 Nigel Farage
00:26:37.040 one week
00:26:38.020 and the next week
00:26:38.780 you've got Aaron Bastani
00:26:39.800 the founder of
00:26:40.560 left-wing show
00:26:41.220 Navarra Media
00:26:41.920 on the same platform
00:26:43.360 You know the mainstream media
00:26:45.040 aren't honest
00:26:45.740 You know they've been
00:26:47.140 caught lying
00:26:47.760 again and again
00:26:48.940 You know they can't
00:26:50.620 be trusted
00:26:51.180 The only way to change that
00:26:53.040 is to make a stand
00:26:54.220 and support
00:26:55.000 independent content creators
00:26:57.100 like Trigonometry
00:26:58.440 to produce better
00:26:59.800 and more honest content
00:27:01.300 We have big plans
00:27:02.140 and we'll shortly be
00:27:02.960 announcing exciting
00:27:04.000 new shows
00:27:04.600 and more terrific interviews
00:27:05.920 with huge guests
00:27:07.320 That isn't going to happen
00:27:08.860 without your help
00:27:09.760 When you support us
00:27:11.040 you also get
00:27:12.280 incredible extra content
00:27:14.260 such as
00:27:15.160 extended interviews
00:27:16.620 with none of those
00:27:17.820 irritating adverts
00:27:19.360 and they'll be released
00:27:20.820 24 hours early
00:27:22.320 just for you
00:27:23.400 We'll have exclusive
00:27:24.320 bonus interviews
00:27:25.220 that only you get to hear
00:27:26.820 Click the link
00:27:27.720 on the podcast description
00:27:29.100 or find the link
00:27:30.580 on your podcast
00:27:31.740 listening app
00:27:32.480 to join us
00:27:33.420 Support us
00:27:34.260 and help change
00:27:35.160 the way we have
00:27:35.920 conversations
00:27:36.580 and make the world
00:27:37.780 saner
00:27:38.220 And Aila
00:27:40.740 do you think
00:27:41.240 that this rise
00:27:42.180 of poly
00:27:42.640 and these other
00:27:44.220 kind of lifestyles
00:27:45.720 shall we call them
00:27:46.340 or ways of living
00:27:47.040 do you think
00:27:47.620 it's because
00:27:48.060 we're viewing sex 0.61
00:27:48.940 more and more
00:27:49.420 as a form of recreation
00:27:51.100 rather than
00:27:52.720 in the biblical sense
00:27:53.980 where it was procreation?
00:27:55.680 I guess
00:27:56.400 which I mean
00:27:56.980 comes from
00:27:57.360 probably birth control
00:27:58.060 right?
00:27:59.180 Like if you're not
00:27:59.700 we no longer have
00:28:00.620 like God's eternal punishment 0.78
00:28:01.700 for having sex 1.00
00:28:02.800 I can have sex 0.99
00:28:04.300 without the punishment 0.99
00:28:04.780 It's a very
00:28:05.340 very particular
00:28:06.260 way of describing
00:28:07.160 children
00:28:07.800 You met my son
00:28:11.260 earlier
00:28:11.580 I don't consider him
00:28:12.800 God's punishment 0.91
00:28:13.600 for sex 0.87
00:28:14.200 I have to say 0.96
00:28:14.800 I'm thinking of 0.95
00:28:16.100 like whorehouses 1.00
00:28:17.300 back in the day 0.63
00:28:17.980 without birth control
00:28:18.740 where all these
00:28:19.440 children are running around
00:28:20.120 you don't have the
00:28:20.820 societal capacity
00:28:22.020 to care for them
00:28:22.680 This is what I mean
00:28:24.600 about children
00:28:25.140 are lovely
00:28:25.640 I would like to have kids
00:28:26.660 but in this sense
00:28:28.880 yeah
00:28:29.280 but it's divorced
00:28:31.460 because of birth control
00:28:32.300 Yeah
00:28:32.800 That's an interesting point
00:28:34.940 What I was going to ask you
00:28:36.620 about coming back
00:28:37.360 to sex work
00:28:38.140 is one of the things
00:28:38.820 I read or watched you say
00:28:40.980 which I found very interesting
00:28:42.060 was
00:28:42.480 camming and OnlyFans
00:28:44.920 you said
00:28:45.480 was
00:28:46.140 quite unhealthy
00:28:47.540 in terms of
00:28:48.120 your well-being
00:28:49.520 but being an escort
00:28:51.800 was much better
00:28:53.000 Yeah
00:28:53.560 I think that is
00:28:54.720 incredibly counterintuitive
00:28:56.280 to a lot of people
00:28:57.220 because
00:28:58.420 I suppose
00:28:59.300 because of the
00:29:00.120 attachments they have
00:29:01.420 to what sex means
00:29:02.580 I suppose
00:29:03.920 they would see it 0.71
00:29:04.760 as unwanted sex 0.75
00:29:06.640 and therefore 0.66
00:29:07.680 if you can at least
00:29:08.460 not have it
00:29:09.260 with another person
00:29:10.780 then it's good
00:29:11.600 but you clearly
00:29:12.080 have a completely
00:29:12.620 different experience of it
00:29:13.660 Well we have norms
00:29:14.520 where people
00:29:14.920 are expected
00:29:15.620 to have unwanted sex 0.93
00:29:16.460 all the time 0.80
00:29:17.000 in long-term
00:29:17.500 monogamous marriages 0.60
00:29:18.560 and I wouldn't argue
00:29:20.520 that's necessarily bad
00:29:21.480 like maybe to some degree
00:29:23.060 there's a duty
00:29:23.560 where as a wife
00:29:24.720 you should keep
00:29:25.340 your husband satisfied
00:29:26.460 because if he can only 0.95
00:29:27.360 get sex from one place 0.95
00:29:28.320 and typically 0.96
00:29:28.880 it's the man
00:29:29.320 wanting sex 0.99
00:29:29.740 from the women 0.99
00:29:30.120 although it's not always
00:29:31.160 so I don't know
00:29:32.500 like the concept
00:29:33.280 of like having 0.98
00:29:33.840 to have sex 0.90
00:29:34.280 that you're just 0.89
00:29:34.660 like not that into
00:29:35.400 it's like sure
00:29:35.900 people do this
00:29:36.420 people have been
00:29:36.840 doing this
00:29:37.100 for all of human history
00:29:38.140 man
00:29:38.420 it's like
00:29:39.400 and by people
00:29:40.300 you mean women 0.97
00:29:41.040 mostly
00:29:42.240 mostly yeah
00:29:44.000 but I was also
00:29:45.540 really surprised
00:29:46.100 to find this
00:29:46.860 with the sex work
00:29:47.380 thing too
00:29:47.840 like it was
00:29:49.520 after I did escorting
00:29:50.400 and I went back
00:29:50.820 to OnlyFans
00:29:51.340 and I was like
00:29:51.740 it just feels
00:29:52.620 dehumanizing
00:29:53.340 like in both ways
00:29:54.280 I feel like
00:29:54.660 I'm dehumanizing
00:29:55.300 my customers
00:29:55.860 and my customers
00:29:56.580 are dehumanizing me
00:29:57.620 when I'm online
00:29:58.880 but in person
00:29:59.780 like to the degree
00:30:01.880 that I can safely
00:30:03.160 and comfortably
00:30:03.700 feel love
00:30:04.800 for my client
00:30:05.500 I allow myself
00:30:06.140 to do so
00:30:06.760 I really like
00:30:08.160 feeling like
00:30:08.660 a part of me
00:30:09.320 really cares about
00:30:10.660 them in that moment
00:30:11.400 and that's the
00:30:13.000 thing that I just
00:30:14.180 can't experience
00:30:14.820 with OnlyFans
00:30:15.460 because it's somebody
00:30:16.540 on the other side
00:30:17.180 of a text box
00:30:17.900 and you're communicating
00:30:18.820 often asynchronously
00:30:19.780 but like
00:30:21.840 in person
00:30:22.620 you get to like
00:30:23.260 have that
00:30:23.800 one-on-one thing
00:30:24.760 like my entire
00:30:25.460 being right now
00:30:26.340 is like having
00:30:26.900 a genuine connection
00:30:27.900 with another individual
00:30:29.140 and then you can
00:30:30.420 like touch souls
00:30:31.060 a little bit
00:30:31.520 and I love
00:30:33.020 every
00:30:33.540 like that this
00:30:34.560 happened for every
00:30:35.120 client that I've
00:30:35.620 had in the past
00:30:36.260 that just
00:30:37.740 not so much
00:30:38.760 with OnlyFans
00:30:39.160 it's interesting
00:30:39.600 I have a couple
00:30:40.180 of questions
00:30:40.900 about that
00:30:41.420 but the first one
00:30:42.320 is I think
00:30:42.700 what you're describing
00:30:43.560 oddly enough
00:30:44.920 and I didn't expect
00:30:45.700 this to come up
00:30:46.420 in a conversation
00:30:47.340 with a sex worker
00:30:48.260 is actually
00:30:49.300 the human paradigm
00:30:50.840 in the 21st century
00:30:52.600 which is
00:30:53.260 we're all
00:30:54.500 connecting
00:30:55.320 in ways that are
00:30:56.400 fake through avatars
00:30:57.700 and actually
00:30:58.920 we all crave
00:30:59.620 a real human connection
00:31:00.780 in meat space
00:31:01.680 yeah
00:31:02.340 and I found
00:31:03.820 it made me feel
00:31:04.440 better too
00:31:04.960 yeah
00:31:05.540 really
00:31:05.940 so the question
00:31:07.200 that I was gonna
00:31:08.140 ask though
00:31:08.720 is and this is
00:31:09.400 coming from
00:31:10.220 a normie place
00:31:11.080 so I hope
00:31:11.800 it doesn't sound
00:31:12.540 judgmental or whatever
00:31:13.720 but I think
00:31:14.500 a lot of people
00:31:15.180 will want to know
00:31:15.880 this
00:31:16.140 is like
00:31:17.080 you can't be
00:31:18.940 attracted
00:31:19.460 to every guy
00:31:20.440 that wants
00:31:20.880 to pay you money 1.00
00:31:21.500 to have sex 1.00
00:31:22.020 with you 1.00
00:31:22.240 right
00:31:22.460 that's not
00:31:23.460 possible
00:31:23.880 I'm guessing
00:31:24.740 right
00:31:25.500 yeah
00:31:25.720 well I'm not
00:31:26.180 attracted to
00:31:26.680 most men
00:31:27.400 right
00:31:28.280 yeah
00:31:28.600 thank you
00:31:29.280 for making
00:31:29.640 that
00:31:29.840 but you know
00:31:34.140 what I mean
00:31:34.540 though
00:31:34.720 it's like
00:31:34.980 you talk
00:31:35.380 about having
00:31:36.140 that connection
00:31:36.900 and almost
00:31:37.460 feeling a love
00:31:38.380 for somebody
00:31:39.200 that you're not
00:31:39.660 even attracted
00:31:40.300 to
00:31:40.680 how does that
00:31:41.900 happen
00:31:42.200 I can't tell
00:31:43.080 how much
00:31:43.380 I'm a normal
00:31:43.940 woman or a weird 1.00
00:31:44.660 woman when it 1.00
00:31:45.240 comes to sexual
00:31:45.840 response
00:31:46.380 but
00:31:48.220 I just
00:31:50.280 like 1.00
00:31:50.640 my vagina 1.00
00:31:51.840 just responds 1.00
00:31:52.540 with lubrication
00:31:53.580 when there's 1.00
00:31:54.320 a new penis 0.99
00:31:54.860 it doesn't matter 0.99
00:31:56.020 if I'm attracted
00:31:56.440 to them or not
00:31:56.980 so
00:31:58.260 it worked
00:31:59.060 fine
00:31:59.540 but like
00:32:00.340 to me
00:32:00.580 I'm not
00:32:00.940 processing
00:32:01.440 like
00:32:01.840 is this guy
00:32:02.640 hot
00:32:03.480 like
00:32:04.560 to me
00:32:04.880 there's just
00:32:05.180 like
00:32:05.380 dude
00:32:06.000 it's like
00:32:06.360 a generic
00:32:06.840 like
00:32:07.300 dude
00:32:07.700 form
00:32:08.180 and I
00:32:10.200 just
00:32:10.400 like
00:32:10.600 have 0.99
00:32:10.780 sex 0.99
00:32:10.940 it's like 1.00
00:32:11.220 giving them
00:32:11.520 a massage
00:32:11.960 I don't
00:32:12.260 know
00:32:12.460 it's like
00:32:12.720 do I have
00:32:12.960 to be
00:32:13.100 attracted
00:32:13.360 to someone
00:32:13.760 to give
00:32:14.100 them
00:32:14.220 a massage
00:32:14.760 it's like
00:32:15.360 giving them
00:32:15.780 a massage
00:32:16.420 or like
00:32:17.920 yeah
00:32:18.060 or doing
00:32:18.420 therapy
00:32:18.800 it's like
00:32:19.120 I don't
00:32:19.320 have to
00:32:19.560 find you
00:32:19.860 hot
00:32:20.100 to do
00:32:20.720 therapy
00:32:21.100 no I
00:32:21.560 get it
00:32:21.880 but
00:32:22.060 but sex
00:32:22.920 is different
00:32:23.480 surely
00:32:23.940 I'm
00:32:24.680 yeah
00:32:24.940 this is
00:32:25.300 where I
00:32:25.540 can't
00:32:25.800 tell if
00:32:26.060 I'm
00:32:26.200 similar
00:32:26.640 to most
00:32:27.080 women 1.00
00:32:27.300 or not
00:32:27.580 no you're
00:32:27.980 not
00:32:28.160 similar
00:32:28.460 to most
00:32:28.880 women 1.00
00:32:29.080 I can
00:32:29.440 tell you
00:32:29.820 that
00:32:29.980 but a lot
00:32:30.400 of other
00:32:30.680 sex
00:32:30.880 I've talked
00:32:31.500 to it's
00:32:31.840 like
00:32:32.020 I don't
00:32:32.220 know
00:32:32.340 this is
00:32:33.580 where we're
00:32:33.940 getting
00:32:34.120 to
00:32:34.400 is
00:32:34.600 like
00:32:34.880 I
00:32:35.500 think
00:32:35.820 there's
00:32:36.100 probably
00:32:36.460 a minority
00:32:37.840 of women
00:32:44.760 have to
00:32:44.960 call it
00:32:45.220 normal
00:32:45.520 you can
00:32:45.820 just call
00:32:46.160 it the
00:32:46.420 majority
00:32:46.820 or whatever
00:32:47.320 where
00:32:48.100 sex is a 0.99
00:32:49.640 tool for 0.98
00:32:50.200 creating
00:32:50.740 long-term
00:32:51.280 attachment
00:32:51.780 to create
00:32:52.500 security
00:32:53.080 for the
00:32:53.520 potential
00:32:54.460 creation
00:32:55.100 of life
00:32:55.600 that then
00:32:56.020 is protected
00:32:56.660 and fed
00:32:57.140 etc
00:32:57.500 right
00:32:57.880 but
00:33:00.360 yeah
00:33:03.360 it's
00:33:04.220 sorry
00:33:04.660 no no
00:33:05.300 I was just
00:33:05.820 going to
00:33:06.120 say
00:33:06.420 so
00:33:08.220 I mean
00:33:10.000 okay
00:33:10.900 right
00:33:11.200 I guess
00:33:11.900 the question
00:33:12.300 I want to
00:33:12.700 ask
00:33:13.000 is
00:33:13.380 isn't
00:33:14.460 sex 0.77
00:33:14.780 more
00:33:15.180 than
00:33:15.380 that
00:33:15.620 isn't
00:33:17.320 sex
00:33:17.780 about
00:33:18.240 connection
00:33:18.780 ultimately
00:33:19.440 isn't
00:33:21.120 it
00:33:21.380 about
00:33:21.840 you know
00:33:22.440 trying
00:33:22.820 to
00:33:22.980 create
00:33:23.320 a
00:33:23.520 bond
00:33:23.800 and
00:33:24.160 therefore
00:33:24.720 I mean
00:33:25.920 that's
00:33:26.140 what I
00:33:26.400 feel
00:33:26.580 sex is 0.97
00:33:27.080 but
00:33:27.400 if
00:33:28.080 that
00:33:28.360 is
00:33:28.540 the
00:33:28.700 case
00:33:29.000 then
00:33:29.260 don't
00:33:29.740 you
00:33:30.180 catch
00:33:31.900 feelings
00:33:32.360 as the
00:33:32.860 kids
00:33:33.040 would
00:33:33.200 say
00:33:33.480 from
00:33:33.760 your
00:33:34.140 clients
00:33:34.580 not
00:33:35.420 really
00:33:36.180 not
00:33:37.300 like
00:33:37.700 it
00:33:37.960 takes
00:33:38.140 a lot
00:33:38.320 more
00:33:38.520 than
00:33:38.860 sex
00:33:39.240 for 0.99
00:33:39.400 me
00:33:39.500 to
00:33:39.600 catch
00:33:39.800 feelings
00:33:40.220 like
00:33:40.820 I
00:33:40.900 have to
00:33:41.020 like
00:33:41.200 the
00:33:41.340 person
00:33:41.660 like
00:33:42.140 we
00:33:42.400 have to
00:33:42.560 have
00:33:42.660 a
00:33:42.800 connection
00:33:44.460 sex 0.97
00:33:44.860 sex
00:33:46.320 can
00:33:46.500 help
00:33:46.800 but
00:33:47.180 there's
00:33:48.900 an
00:33:49.060 example
00:33:49.420 where
00:33:49.920 so
00:33:50.160 I
00:33:50.460 used
00:33:50.600 to
00:33:50.680 throw
00:33:50.800 naked 0.76
00:33:51.060 parties
00:33:51.440 and
00:33:51.920 people
00:33:52.680 before
00:33:53.020 they
00:33:53.200 would
00:33:53.320 come
00:33:53.540 would
00:33:53.680 be
00:33:53.820 like
00:33:54.040 oh
00:33:54.280 god
00:33:54.440 this
00:33:54.600 is
00:33:54.720 going
00:33:54.840 to
00:33:54.920 be
00:33:55.000 really
00:33:55.200 weird
00:33:55.460 what
00:33:55.620 if
00:33:55.720 I
00:33:55.800 get
00:33:55.920 a
00:33:56.040 boner
00:33:56.340 what
00:33:56.800 if
00:33:56.880 I'm
00:33:56.980 staring
00:33:57.260 at 0.99
00:33:57.400 boobs 0.95
00:33:57.620 the
00:33:57.760 whole
00:33:57.880 time
00:33:58.220 it
00:33:58.420 was
00:33:58.540 really
00:33:58.780 nerve
00:33:59.040 wracking
00:33:59.320 then
00:34:00.020 they
00:34:00.140 would
00:34:00.260 come
00:34:00.520 and
00:34:00.720 often
00:34:01.260 report
00:34:01.600 I'm
00:34:01.820 shocked
00:34:02.360 by
00:34:02.600 how
00:34:02.900 quickly
00:34:03.420 my
00:34:03.880 brain
00:34:04.100 recontextualizes
00:34:05.040 nudity
00:34:05.480 I'm 0.76
00:34:06.120 here
00:34:06.420 and
00:34:06.600 there's
00:34:06.740 just
00:34:06.860 a
00:34:07.000 bunch
00:34:07.180 of
00:34:07.320 bodies
00:34:07.620 and
00:34:07.880 it's
00:34:08.100 somehow
00:34:08.580 not
00:34:08.860 sexual
00:34:09.260 I
00:34:10.220 didn't
00:34:10.440 expect
00:34:10.680 that
00:34:10.800 this
00:34:10.940 could
00:34:11.060 happen
00:34:11.320 because
00:34:11.580 we've
00:34:11.900 never
00:34:12.060 been
00:34:12.240 exposed
00:34:12.560 to
00:34:12.780 nudity
00:34:13.080 in
00:34:13.220 wide
00:34:13.780 non-sexual
00:34:14.220 contexts
00:34:14.600 before
00:34:14.900 and
00:34:15.560 I
00:34:35.480 as
00:34:35.920 I
00:34:36.120 assume
00:34:36.380 doctors
00:34:36.760 still
00:34:37.100 can
00:34:37.300 get
00:34:37.460 aroused 1.00
00:34:37.740 fucking 1.00
00:34:38.000 their 1.00
00:34:38.200 wives
00:34:38.400 even
00:34:38.600 if
00:34:38.740 they
00:34:38.840 look
00:34:39.020 at
00:34:39.120 a
00:34:39.200 bunch
00:34:39.340 of 1.00
00:34:39.440 vaginas 1.00
00:34:39.820 but
00:34:40.820 it
00:34:40.980 just
00:34:41.140 expands
00:34:41.700 the
00:34:41.920 ways
00:34:42.220 that
00:34:42.520 sex
00:34:42.720 can
00:34:42.860 be
00:34:43.000 meaningful
00:34:43.340 to
00:34:44.120 you
00:34:44.340 instead
00:34:44.560 of
00:34:44.680 keeping
00:34:44.860 it
00:34:45.000 narrow
00:34:45.240 okay
00:34:45.840 so
00:34:46.700 the
00:34:47.960 other
00:34:48.140 question
00:34:48.620 is
00:34:49.260 the
00:34:50.720 biggest
00:34:51.020 threat
00:34:51.300 to
00:34:51.480 women 1.00
00:34:51.680 is
00:34:51.880 men
00:34:52.120 and
00:34:53.960 have
00:34:54.360 you
00:34:54.500 ever
00:34:54.720 worried
00:34:55.440 that
00:34:55.920 you
00:34:56.960 were
00:34:57.120 putting
00:34:57.340 yourself
00:34:57.760 as
00:34:58.060 a
00:34:58.220 woman 0.99
00:34:58.420 in
00:34:58.700 a
00:34:58.900 vulnerable
00:34:59.280 position
00:34:59.900 by
00:35:00.720 doing
00:35:01.020 this
00:35:01.240 type
00:35:01.500 work
00:35:01.980 definitely
00:35:03.120 it's
00:35:04.680 like
00:35:04.900 oddly
00:35:06.180 the internet
00:35:06.880 stuff
00:35:07.180 has turned
00:35:07.660 out to be
00:35:07.980 a little
00:35:08.140 bit more
00:35:08.380 threatening
00:35:08.680 there's
00:35:09.740 a guy
00:35:09.980 who showed
00:35:10.260 up my
00:35:10.460 house
00:35:10.680 and tried
00:35:11.160 to murder 0.96
00:35:11.520 me 0.61
00:35:11.860 last year
00:35:12.580 which was
00:35:13.020 pretty
00:35:13.240 scary
00:35:13.760 I can
00:35:15.080 imagine
00:35:15.360 that's
00:35:16.520 awful
00:35:16.840 so
00:35:17.120 was it
00:35:19.000 I mean
00:35:19.300 obviously
00:35:19.540 we don't
00:35:19.780 want to
00:35:19.920 go too
00:35:20.220 much
00:35:20.400 into
00:35:20.580 detail
00:35:20.900 because
00:35:21.100 we
00:35:21.220 don't
00:35:21.340 want
00:35:21.440 to
00:35:21.500 give
00:35:21.600 this
00:35:21.760 person
00:35:22.020 publicity
00:35:22.460 but
00:35:22.800 was
00:35:23.020 it
00:35:23.220 former
00:35:23.720 client
00:35:24.140 former
00:35:24.540 no
00:35:25.760 idea
00:35:26.000 complete
00:35:26.480 rando
00:35:26.780 never
00:35:27.100 seen
00:35:27.320 him
00:35:27.400 before
00:35:27.720 he
00:35:28.100 had
00:35:28.200 never
00:35:28.340 tried
00:35:28.500 to
00:35:28.620 contact
00:35:28.880 me
00:35:29.180 a guy
00:35:30.120 just
00:35:30.300 showed
00:35:30.440 up
00:35:30.540 at
00:35:30.620 my
00:35:30.740 house
00:35:31.080 dressed
00:35:31.460 as
00:35:31.600 an
00:35:31.720 FBI
00:35:31.980 officer
00:35:32.480 and
00:35:32.660 told
00:35:32.760 me
00:35:32.880 to
00:35:32.960 get
00:35:33.060 in
00:35:33.120 the
00:35:33.200 car
00:35:33.420 so
00:35:33.900 I
00:35:34.000 was
00:35:34.060 under
00:35:34.240 arrest
00:35:34.660 which
00:35:35.720 I
00:35:35.840 believed
00:35:36.140 him
00:35:36.380 because
00:35:37.080 you
00:35:37.420 don't
00:35:37.600 expect
00:35:38.000 but
00:35:38.840 it
00:35:38.960 turned
00:35:39.120 out
00:35:39.300 he
00:35:39.460 had
00:35:39.640 brought
00:35:39.900 like
00:35:40.420 a
00:35:40.540 garrote
00:35:40.880 and
00:35:41.120 hunting
00:35:41.580 knife
00:35:41.820 and
00:35:41.980 stuff
00:35:42.300 and
00:35:43.860 luckily
00:35:44.060 I
00:35:44.180 did
00:35:44.260 not
00:35:44.400 get
00:35:44.560 in
00:35:44.660 the
00:35:44.760 car
00:35:44.940 but
00:35:45.360 you
00:35:45.800 yeah
00:35:46.400 and
00:35:46.820 so
00:35:47.200 and
00:35:47.520 people
00:35:48.360 tracked
00:35:48.740 this
00:35:48.960 person
00:35:49.260 and
00:35:49.420 obviously
00:35:49.640 the
00:35:49.820 police
00:35:50.000 tracked
00:35:50.240 this
00:35:50.400 person
00:35:50.580 yeah
00:35:51.640 and
00:35:51.980 they
00:35:53.000 have
00:35:53.180 no
00:35:53.460 idea
00:35:53.860 how
00:35:54.100 he
00:35:54.260 came
00:35:54.500 to
00:35:54.660 discover
00:35:55.020 who
00:35:55.220 you
00:35:55.360 are
00:35:55.540 why
00:35:55.840 he
00:35:56.040 believed
00:35:56.440 these
00:35:56.720 things
00:35:57.020 or
00:35:57.260 random
00:35:57.820 internet
00:35:58.200 but
00:35:58.840 they
00:35:59.160 found
00:35:59.600 they
00:36:00.560 told
00:36:01.040 me
00:36:01.220 that
00:36:01.380 they
00:36:01.520 found
00:36:01.800 the
00:36:02.100 information
00:36:02.600 of other
00:36:03.000 sex
00:36:03.220 workers
00:36:03.420 in
00:36:03.660 his
00:36:03.780 house
00:36:04.080 so
00:36:05.060 the
00:36:05.580 this
00:36:06.180 is
00:36:06.320 my
00:36:06.480 current
00:36:07.140 theory
00:36:07.360 is
00:36:07.520 that
00:36:07.600 he
00:36:07.680 was
00:36:07.780 just
00:36:07.880 targeting
00:36:08.140 sex
00:36:08.480 workers 0.86
00:36:08.720 basically
00:36:09.440 because
00:36:10.360 when
00:36:10.660 I
00:36:10.760 was
00:36:10.900 doing
00:36:11.140 research
00:36:11.700 you
00:36:12.060 sound
00:36:12.420 like
00:36:12.780 you
00:36:13.320 do
00:36:13.720 very
00:36:14.100 well
00:36:14.360 out
00:36:14.520 of
00:36:14.640 this
00:36:14.780 very
00:36:15.240 very
00:36:15.500 well
00:36:15.820 I
00:36:16.380 was
00:36:16.540 reading
00:36:16.880 like
00:36:17.160 $100,000
00:36:17.980 a month
00:36:18.720 OnlyFans
00:36:19.520 $3,000
00:36:20.860 an hour
00:36:21.500 for
00:36:21.860 like
00:36:22.240 a
00:36:22.860 session
00:36:24.120 or whatever
00:36:24.700 it may
00:36:25.060 be called
00:36:25.480 you're
00:36:26.860 coming
00:36:27.040 across
00:36:27.340 very
00:36:27.580 comfortable
00:36:27.980 yeah
00:36:28.440 I know
00:36:28.820 mate
00:36:29.080 I know
00:36:29.520 but
00:36:32.580 I guess
00:36:34.120 do you
00:36:35.360 not
00:36:35.580 feel like
00:36:36.860 you put
00:36:37.320 yourself
00:36:37.720 in danger
00:36:38.660 every
00:36:39.380 time that
00:36:39.900 you do
00:36:40.360 this
00:36:40.760 and
00:36:42.040 I guess
00:36:43.780 is that
00:36:44.140 not a
00:36:44.440 concern
00:36:44.900 a worry
00:36:45.480 that
00:36:45.700 you
00:36:45.860 especially
00:36:46.660 if you
00:36:46.940 don't
00:36:47.280 need
00:36:47.500 the
00:36:47.640 money
00:36:47.820 anymore
00:36:48.240 yeah
00:36:49.500 but
00:36:49.680 I
00:36:50.200 would
00:36:50.400 rather
00:36:50.940 like 0.98
00:36:51.580 die 0.97
00:36:52.380 being
00:36:53.000 who
00:36:53.220 I
00:36:53.400 am
00:36:53.680 than
00:36:54.640 live
00:36:55.140 trying
00:36:55.720 to
00:36:55.880 hide
00:36:56.160 like
00:36:57.160 if
00:36:57.360 I
00:36:57.480 could
00:36:57.640 go
00:36:58.100 over
00:36:58.300 and
00:36:58.420 be
00:36:58.520 like
00:36:58.700 you
00:36:59.640 oh
00:37:00.080 you're
00:37:00.260 no
00:37:00.400 longer
00:37:00.620 at
00:37:00.840 risk
00:37:01.180 from
00:37:01.560 murder
00:37:01.900 but 0.99
00:37:02.580 you
00:37:02.920 are
00:37:03.420 not
00:37:03.660 very
00:37:04.240 open
00:37:04.900 about
00:37:05.100 who
00:37:05.260 you
00:37:05.380 are
00:37:05.480 on
00:37:05.540 the
00:37:05.640 internet
00:37:05.940 or
00:37:06.180 you're
00:37:06.280 trying
00:37:06.440 to
00:37:06.560 hide
00:37:06.700 like
00:37:06.880 I
00:37:07.000 would
00:37:07.140 rather
00:37:07.440 take
00:37:08.940 the
00:37:09.180 scary
00:37:09.540 road
00:37:14.140 I
00:37:14.260 suppose
00:37:14.620 the
00:37:15.000 question
00:37:15.340 is
00:37:15.620 given
00:37:15.940 that
00:37:16.140 you
00:37:16.280 as
00:37:16.540 Francis
00:37:16.820 says
00:37:17.080 you
00:37:17.180 do
00:37:17.320 very
00:37:17.560 well
00:37:17.800 out
00:37:17.960 of
00:37:18.060 OnlyFans
00:37:18.660 you
00:37:21.040 must
00:37:21.400 enjoy
00:37:22.540 escorting
00:37:23.280 yeah
00:37:23.600 clearly
00:37:24.580 which I
00:37:25.180 was surprised
00:37:25.640 to find
00:37:26.040 yeah
00:37:26.280 I think
00:37:28.320 that's
00:37:28.820 really
00:37:29.100 the
00:37:29.360 core
00:37:29.700 of
00:37:29.900 where
00:37:30.120 I
00:37:30.280 think
00:37:30.520 a
00:37:30.800 normal
00:37:31.320 I
00:37:32.120 don't
00:37:32.420 use
00:37:32.660 it
00:37:32.740 in
00:37:32.820 any
00:37:33.020 judgmental
00:37:33.660 sense
00:37:33.800 just
00:37:34.000 a
00:37:34.460 mainstream
00:37:35.760 whatever
00:37:36.300 the 1.00
00:37:36.560 fucking 1.00
00:37:36.820 I 1.00
00:37:37.880 hate 0.82
00:37:38.140 this
00:37:38.360 world
00:37:38.680 where
00:37:38.900 you
00:37:39.020 can't
00:37:39.280 just
00:37:39.460 say
00:37:39.760 what
00:37:39.940 you
00:37:40.040 mean
00:37:40.260 I
00:37:41.320 think
00:37:41.700 the
00:37:41.900 disconnect
00:37:42.280 between
00:37:42.800 a normal
00:37:43.420 person
00:37:43.800 and what
00:37:44.120 you're
00:37:44.300 saying
00:37:44.600 is
00:37:44.900 contained
00:37:45.380 in
00:37:45.600 that
00:37:45.800 thing
00:37:46.100 which
00:37:46.420 is
00:37:46.700 you
00:37:47.280 enjoy
00:37:47.980 that
00:37:48.260 you
00:37:48.780 enjoy
00:37:49.180 that
00:37:49.480 work
00:37:50.120 yeah
00:37:51.620 turns out
00:37:53.260 that I
00:37:53.520 like 0.99
00:37:53.800 sex 0.99
00:37:54.520 with 0.99
00:37:54.740 new
00:37:54.900 people
00:37:55.280 it's
00:37:56.160 just
00:37:56.260 really
00:37:56.480 nice
00:37:56.860 and
00:37:58.520 it's
00:37:58.860 difficult
00:37:59.300 to do
00:37:59.880 for me
00:38:00.420 in that
00:38:01.200 I feel
00:38:02.220 kind of
00:38:02.680 awkward
00:38:02.940 and confused
00:38:03.580 about how
00:38:04.180 to initiate
00:38:04.840 sex 0.97
00:38:05.160 with another 0.94
00:38:05.520 person
00:38:05.920 but if
00:38:07.320 they're
00:38:07.540 paying
00:38:07.800 for it
00:38:08.100 then it's
00:38:08.340 clear
00:38:08.600 oh
00:38:09.060 you show
00:38:09.560 up
00:38:09.720 and the
00:38:10.500 whole
00:38:10.760 thing
00:38:11.040 is laid
00:38:11.320 out
00:38:11.440 for you
00:38:11.700 so
00:38:11.940 you
00:38:12.100 would
00:38:12.660 be
00:38:12.820 doing
00:38:13.040 this
00:38:13.260 anyway
00:38:13.560 but
00:38:13.800 you're
00:38:13.980 just
00:38:14.120 getting
00:38:14.320 paid
00:38:14.560 for it
00:38:14.840 is that
00:38:15.040 what you're
00:38:15.200 saying
00:38:15.400 to some
00:38:16.740 degree
00:38:16.940 if I were
00:38:17.280 doing this
00:38:17.620 for free
00:38:17.920 which I
00:38:18.260 do
00:38:18.740 well
00:38:19.580 I have
00:38:20.480 a survey
00:38:20.860 where people
00:38:21.220 can apply
00:38:21.600 to have 0.78
00:38:21.840 sex 1.00
00:38:22.020 with me 1.00
00:38:22.300 and then
00:38:22.560 if they're
00:38:22.860 like highly
00:38:23.200 sexually 0.61
00:38:23.520 compatible
00:38:23.960 then I
00:38:24.300 contact
00:38:24.660 them
00:38:25.060 they're
00:38:27.280 so
00:38:27.440 you're
00:38:27.520 you're
00:38:29.640 I don't 0.90
00:38:30.580 like sex
00:38:31.440 I think 0.93
00:38:31.780 you like
00:38:32.100 admin
00:38:32.400 I think
00:38:33.040 I like
00:38:33.280 spreadsheets
00:38:33.860 yeah
00:38:34.200 I think
00:38:35.180 what gets
00:38:35.600 you off
00:38:36.020 is Excel
00:38:36.580 let's be
00:38:37.020 honest
00:38:37.260 yeah
00:38:37.800 so you have
00:38:39.820 the survey
00:38:40.340 and you have 0.99
00:38:41.240 sex with some 0.99
00:38:41.840 of the people 0.70
00:38:42.300 who are highly
00:38:42.900 compatible
00:38:43.380 with you
00:38:43.800 what does
00:38:44.320 highly compatible
00:38:44.940 mean
00:38:45.600 are they
00:38:45.900 into the same
00:38:46.660 weird kinks 1.00
00:38:47.260 that I'm
00:38:47.560 into
00:38:47.780 okay
00:38:48.180 and this
00:38:48.740 was going
00:38:49.000 to be my
00:38:49.320 other question
00:38:49.760 which is
00:38:50.120 I imagine
00:38:50.580 the people
00:38:51.160 who pay
00:38:51.660 to have 0.98
00:38:52.060 sex 0.99
00:38:52.400 with the 1.00
00:38:53.080 sex worker
00:38:53.620 they have
00:38:54.440 an idea
00:38:55.000 of how
00:38:55.480 they want
00:38:55.900 that to
00:38:56.260 go
00:38:56.580 yeah
00:38:57.380 generally
00:38:57.680 it's quite
00:38:58.020 vanilla
00:38:58.280 really
00:38:59.800 yes
00:39:00.400 super
00:39:00.680 vanilla
00:39:00.920 they just
00:39:02.300 they pay
00:39:03.000 money to 0.99
00:39:03.940 have sex 0.99
00:39:04.340 in the 1.00
00:39:04.580 missionary
00:39:04.780 position
00:39:05.180 basically
00:39:05.660 I mean
00:39:06.720 so I'm
00:39:07.020 not saying
00:39:07.300 that they
00:39:07.560 don't have
00:39:08.060 fetishes
00:39:08.500 I'm saying
00:39:09.000 that in
00:39:09.360 general
00:39:09.700 the way
00:39:10.320 that escorting
00:39:11.140 is structured
00:39:11.580 is that
00:39:11.900 you're not
00:39:12.180 supposed to
00:39:12.660 discuss
00:39:13.120 what you're
00:39:14.360 into
00:39:14.600 beforehand
00:39:15.060 because for
00:39:15.740 legal risk
00:39:16.240 reasons
00:39:16.660 there's a lot
00:39:17.520 of things
00:39:17.860 about the fact
00:39:18.320 that escorting
00:39:18.940 is illegal
00:39:19.260 that makes
00:39:19.640 it like
00:39:20.580 hard
00:39:20.860 like for
00:39:22.320 example
00:39:22.520 I did
00:39:22.820 get
00:39:23.040 assaulted
00:39:23.360 once
00:39:23.720 when I
00:39:23.960 was
00:39:24.080 escorting
00:39:24.480 couldn't
00:39:24.760 go to
00:39:24.940 the
00:39:25.060 police
00:39:25.360 but that
00:39:26.480 aside
00:39:26.780 yeah
00:39:28.100 so you're
00:39:28.380 not allowed
00:39:28.760 to basically
00:39:30.020 talk about
00:39:30.520 sex acts
00:39:31.000 in advance
00:39:31.760 and so it's
00:39:32.200 quite hard
00:39:32.800 for people
00:39:33.100 to locate
00:39:33.960 and negotiate
00:39:34.540 people who
00:39:35.020 are open
00:39:35.360 to various
00:39:35.980 specific
00:39:36.700 things
00:39:37.120 so I
00:39:38.200 have met
00:39:38.500 a lot
00:39:38.680 of people
00:39:39.080 who maybe
00:39:40.200 have
00:39:40.760 preferences
00:39:41.320 for fetishes
00:39:41.900 but they
00:39:42.540 tend to be
00:39:43.020 kind of
00:39:43.400 mild and
00:39:43.760 they tend
00:39:43.980 to be shy
00:39:44.300 about asking
00:39:44.680 for them
00:39:45.100 Aila
00:39:46.400 we've had
00:39:47.280 a feminist
00:39:48.840 on the show
00:39:49.400 called Julie
00:39:49.860 Bindle
00:39:50.260 who is a
00:39:51.140 fantastic
00:39:51.640 writer and
00:39:52.600 thinker
00:39:53.040 we both
00:39:53.740 love Julie
00:39:54.180 and both
00:39:54.540 big fans
00:39:55.080 she has
00:39:55.820 campaigned
00:39:56.500 for a long
00:39:57.160 time to
00:39:58.100 make prostitution
00:39:59.460 illegal and
00:40:00.680 to criminalize
00:40:01.940 the men
00:40:02.280 who seek out
00:40:03.420 prostitutes 0.97
00:40:04.180 what's the 0.99
00:40:06.040 other side
00:40:06.480 why should
00:40:07.160 prostitution
00:40:07.980 and escorting
00:40:09.040 why should
00:40:09.540 it be
00:40:09.800 legal
00:40:10.140 if you
00:40:11.740 talk to
00:40:12.080 any active
00:40:12.840 escort
00:40:13.360 almost all
00:40:14.620 of them
00:40:14.960 will say
00:40:15.680 that they
00:40:16.020 would disagree
00:40:17.340 with making
00:40:17.980 it illegal
00:40:18.380 so like
00:40:19.640 usually when
00:40:20.020 people advocate
00:40:20.580 that I'm like
00:40:21.100 sounds like
00:40:21.740 you have
00:40:22.100 either not
00:40:22.840 talked to
00:40:23.260 escorts
00:40:23.600 or you
00:40:23.940 have talked
00:40:24.220 to like
00:40:24.480 a small
00:40:24.900 percentage
00:40:25.280 that left
00:40:26.000 it and
00:40:26.280 had a bad
00:40:26.700 time
00:40:27.020 but there's
00:40:28.200 a whole
00:40:28.440 bunch
00:40:28.780 that this
00:40:30.000 is your
00:40:30.520 life's
00:40:30.820 work
00:40:31.060 and if
00:40:32.560 you talk
00:40:33.100 to us
00:40:33.520 you would
00:40:33.980 find out
00:40:34.320 that man
00:40:34.680 I would
00:40:35.040 like to
00:40:35.620 see men
00:40:37.120 and then
00:40:37.440 not get
00:40:37.760 punished
00:40:38.060 for it
00:40:38.520 and I
00:40:39.080 would like
00:40:39.280 to see
00:40:39.540 men and
00:40:39.800 not have
00:40:40.080 them get
00:40:40.420 punished
00:40:40.700 for it
00:40:41.080 the Nordic
00:40:42.160 model is
00:40:42.460 also pretty
00:40:42.980 bad
00:40:43.320 like the
00:40:44.100 incentive
00:40:44.560 structure
00:40:44.880 is like
00:40:46.100 one of the
00:40:48.320 ways that you
00:40:48.680 get treated
00:40:49.080 better as an
00:40:49.880 escort is if
00:40:50.400 you're able to
00:40:50.840 charge more
00:40:51.400 and basically
00:40:51.720 have more
00:40:51.980 bargaining
00:40:52.260 power
00:40:52.660 if you
00:40:53.760 increase
00:40:54.080 supply
00:40:54.540 and reduce
00:40:55.060 demand
00:40:55.480 this makes
00:40:56.500 it so that
00:40:56.920 the supply
00:40:57.280 side has less
00:40:57.940 bargaining
00:40:58.780 which means
00:41:00.280 that you're
00:41:00.500 more likely
00:41:00.880 to take
00:41:01.300 safety risks
00:41:02.760 and charge
00:41:04.060 less money
00:41:04.700 and in my
00:41:06.220 data
00:41:06.560 charging less
00:41:08.140 money is
00:41:08.660 correlated with
00:41:09.240 higher rates
00:41:09.760 of being
00:41:10.740 offended against
00:41:11.500 or having
00:41:11.980 bad things
00:41:12.400 happen to
00:41:12.800 you like
00:41:13.140 being assaulted
00:41:13.600 so if you
00:41:15.480 are making
00:41:16.660 it illegal
00:41:17.060 for the
00:41:17.980 men but
00:41:18.460 not the
00:41:18.760 women you're 1.00
00:41:19.160 going to
00:41:19.380 have a higher
00:41:19.780 supply of
00:41:20.180 women and 0.99
00:41:20.560 fewer men
00:41:21.020 which just
00:41:21.980 basically makes
00:41:22.800 the power
00:41:23.100 imbalance pretty
00:41:23.600 bad and
00:41:24.700 makes it way
00:41:25.500 more prone to
00:41:26.280 having bad
00:41:26.800 things happen
00:41:27.260 but yeah I
00:41:28.380 basically all
00:41:29.340 I'm not asking
00:41:29.900 for much
00:41:30.260 I would just
00:41:30.740 like to go
00:41:31.200 to the
00:41:31.500 police when
00:41:31.980 someone assaults
00:41:32.500 me and
00:41:33.340 not have
00:41:33.640 them arrest
00:41:33.980 me because
00:41:34.800 I accepted
00:41:35.240 money for
00:41:36.040 something that
00:41:36.460 a lot of
00:41:36.660 other people
00:41:36.940 do for free
00:41:37.440 right and
00:41:39.120 I do find
00:41:41.820 it upsetting
00:41:42.480 Ayla I'm
00:41:43.020 going to be
00:41:43.320 honest with
00:41:43.760 you that you
00:41:44.340 talk about
00:41:45.000 being assaulted
00:41:45.760 in such a
00:41:46.500 casual manner
00:41:47.260 you know
00:41:48.520 it's I
00:41:49.380 that's just a
00:41:50.900 natural human
00:41:51.480 response for me
00:41:52.200 I'm just being
00:41:52.700 honest with you
00:41:53.400 it's really
00:41:54.480 not great
00:41:54.980 I agree
00:41:55.420 it's unpleasant
00:41:56.540 I would rather
00:41:57.540 have been
00:41:57.780 assaulted than
00:41:58.260 worked at the
00:41:58.640 factory to be
00:41:59.520 clear like
00:42:00.500 but but also
00:42:02.200 like the fact
00:42:02.920 that I was
00:42:03.300 assaulted could
00:42:03.940 have been
00:42:04.220 prevented if
00:42:05.100 it were not
00:42:06.460 illegal if
00:42:07.340 prostitution was 1.00
00:42:08.320 criminalized the
00:42:09.340 thing that got
00:42:09.740 me into that
00:42:10.240 place because
00:42:11.300 what happened
00:42:11.900 is like if
00:42:12.760 you can vet
00:42:13.560 men properly
00:42:14.760 beforehand if
00:42:15.980 you're able to
00:42:16.600 have like more
00:42:17.460 resources poured
00:42:18.280 into excellent
00:42:19.160 blacklists for
00:42:19.980 women to share 0.98
00:42:20.940 which right
00:42:21.640 now that you
00:42:22.660 have to operate
00:42:23.180 in the shadows
00:42:23.860 because this is
00:42:24.600 aiding prostitution
00:42:25.880 so like if 0.94
00:42:26.920 you if you
00:42:27.840 decriminalize
00:42:28.960 prostitution and
00:42:29.740 then women will 1.00
00:42:30.220 have the tools to
00:42:30.840 make themselves
00:42:31.240 safer and it
00:42:32.160 will dramatically
00:42:32.720 decrease the
00:42:33.580 risk of assault
00:42:34.260 and is there
00:42:35.120 any particular
00:42:35.620 country that you
00:42:36.500 know gets it
00:42:37.220 right as far as
00:42:38.180 you're concerned
00:42:38.760 or does but is
00:42:40.680 is better to the
00:42:41.680 model that you
00:42:42.360 would like to see
00:42:43.420 I don't know I
00:42:44.040 haven't talked to
00:42:44.620 enough sex workers 0.99
00:42:45.280 from those countries
00:42:46.120 yeah which is the
00:42:47.020 way that I would
00:42:47.400 determine I would
00:42:47.920 go to the sex 0.75
00:42:48.440 workers and be like 0.94
00:42:49.160 how safe do you
00:42:50.240 feel
00:42:50.940 how much do
00:42:51.760 you feel like
00:42:52.080 you're getting
00:42:52.440 like your money
00:42:53.380 taken away from
00:42:53.980 you by like
00:42:54.560 coercive brothels
00:42:55.860 for example
00:42:56.340 okay so I
00:42:57.180 don't know
00:42:57.500 do you have a
00:42:59.440 website or do
00:43:00.400 you plan to have
00:43:01.260 a website because
00:43:02.420 if you do then
00:43:03.720 easy DNS is a
00:43:05.320 company for you
00:43:06.300 easy DNS is the
00:43:07.800 perfect domain name
00:43:08.920 registrar provider and
00:43:10.160 web host for you
00:43:11.040 they have a track
00:43:12.220 record of standing
00:43:13.140 up for their
00:43:13.660 clients whether it
00:43:14.440 be cancel culture 0.89
00:43:15.480 de-platform attacks
00:43:17.080 or overzealous
00:43:18.540 government agencies
00:43:19.740 he knows about
00:43:21.180 that so will you
00:43:22.400 in a second 0.78
00:43:23.000 easy DNS have
00:43:24.520 rock-solid network
00:43:25.640 infrastructure and
00:43:26.600 fantastic customer
00:43:27.720 support they're in
00:43:29.000 your corner no
00:43:30.180 matter what the
00:43:31.020 world throws at
00:43:31.840 you unless it's
00:43:32.940 your ex-girlfriend in
00:43:34.140 which case you're on
00:43:35.260 your own you know
00:43:36.060 about that move
00:43:37.620 your domains and
00:43:38.460 websites over to
00:43:39.500 easy DNS right now
00:43:40.880 all you've got to
00:43:42.000 do is go to
00:43:42.700 easy DNS dot com
00:43:44.080 forward slash
00:43:44.860 triggered that's
00:43:45.740 easy DNS dot com
00:43:47.120 forward slash
00:43:47.980 triggered use our
00:43:48.940 promo code which
00:43:49.800 is also triggered
00:43:50.560 and get 50% off
00:43:52.100 the initial purchase
00:43:53.200 sign up for their
00:43:54.160 newsletter access of
00:43:55.680 easy which tells you
00:43:56.900 everything you need
00:43:57.840 to know about
00:43:58.720 technology privacy and
00:44:00.780 censorship we've
00:44:02.880 talked about escorting
00:44:04.040 we've talked about
00:44:04.900 only fans I mean we
00:44:06.280 kind of haven't talked
00:44:07.660 about the porn the
00:44:08.500 porn industry which is
00:44:09.700 making the movies etc
00:44:11.160 did that side of it
00:44:12.540 ever appeal to you and
00:44:13.560 if not why not it
00:44:14.880 didn't because you make
00:44:15.680 a lot less money okay
00:44:17.420 for a lot less control
00:44:18.360 I think like the
00:44:19.640 advent of like to
00:44:20.800 some degree camming
00:44:21.620 but especially only
00:44:22.500 fans has just ripped
00:44:23.260 the power away from
00:44:24.300 from the like the
00:44:25.800 centralized industries
00:44:26.640 which I think is kind
00:44:27.380 of good it's like the
00:44:28.360 new media of porn right
00:44:29.800 it's like YouTube taking
00:44:31.240 over the TV that that
00:44:33.840 makes a lot of sense
00:44:34.920 I suppose you know I'm
00:44:38.460 just curious asking all
00:44:39.420 these questions from a
00:44:40.260 normal perspective because
00:44:41.180 I think a lot of people
00:44:42.020 watching will have them
00:44:43.040 the thing that I think a
00:44:46.040 lot of people would say
00:44:47.060 is that sex is I mean
00:44:50.820 sacred makes me sound 0.98
00:44:52.400 like a religious nut but
00:44:53.440 that's how a lot of
00:44:54.460 people will feel about
00:44:55.420 it whether they're
00:44:56.320 religious or not they a
00:44:58.700 lot of people feel that
00:44:59.700 sex has a meaning beyond
00:45:01.180 the physical act and
00:45:02.700 Louise Perry who as I
00:45:04.220 say you've debated
00:45:04.900 before she gives us
00:45:06.260 example of if we just
00:45:07.780 treated sex like any 0.74
00:45:08.820 other service there would
00:45:10.040 be absolutely no reason
00:45:11.400 why it would be offensive
00:45:12.460 for your boss whose
00:45:14.120 secretary you are to
00:45:15.640 say well if you give 1.00
00:45:16.340 me a blowjob I'll give 1.00
00:45:17.420 you a raise right 0.99
00:45:18.760 because it's just like
00:45:19.880 giving a massage like
00:45:21.360 you said like why
00:45:22.560 wouldn't do you see
00:45:23.680 what I'm saying do we
00:45:24.540 consider it offensive to
00:45:25.580 be like if you give me
00:45:26.320 a massage I'll give you
00:45:27.180 a raise only because 0.94
00:45:29.240 there's a sexual
00:45:29.960 dimension to it if I
00:45:31.600 said to my secretary if
00:45:33.600 you make my coffee on
00:45:35.680 time every week and
00:45:37.240 it's exactly the way
00:45:38.180 that I want to I'll
00:45:39.100 give you a raise I
00:45:40.820 mean I'm Jewish so I
00:45:41.680 wouldn't do that
00:45:42.200 like if you're like if
00:45:43.020 you wash my car I'll
00:45:44.120 give you a raise like
00:45:45.140 that starts to feel a
00:45:46.040 little bit weirder and
00:45:46.920 exploitative because it's
00:45:48.540 outside the job
00:45:49.180 description like I don't
00:45:51.540 think we're okay if I
00:45:52.340 have a PA and I say to
00:45:54.520 him or her in our case
00:45:56.380 it's him can you go and
00:45:57.880 take my car to the car
00:45:59.000 wash you could argue
00:46:01.780 that's within the job
00:46:02.480 description let's pick
00:46:03.420 something that is
00:46:03.920 clearly not within the
00:46:04.860 job description like can
00:46:06.000 you watch my kids like
00:46:07.520 yeah in the same way
00:46:08.420 about my job
00:46:08.900 watch my kids right
00:46:10.480 that would feel a little
00:46:11.040 weird as weird as having 1.00
00:46:12.960 giving someone a blowjob 0.99
00:46:14.060 uh well I think it's just 0.99
00:46:15.820 like the the sense of
00:46:16.860 exploitation that we have
00:46:17.880 like oh I have power over
00:46:18.780 you and I will dangle
00:46:19.640 money if you do something
00:46:21.040 like personal for me okay
00:46:22.700 yeah but what I'm saying
00:46:24.100 is something else which
00:46:25.160 is if I was to say to my
00:46:27.400 PA watch my kids for an
00:46:31.220 hour and you get a raise
00:46:32.580 I don't think that in
00:46:34.740 society and under the law
00:46:37.220 in all sorts of other
00:46:38.360 important ways that would
00:46:40.000 be treated anything like
00:46:41.620 me offering my secretary 0.99
00:46:43.360 a raise for a blowjob 1.00
00:46:44.420 yeah I agree so I think 0.99
00:46:45.640 there's two things going
00:46:46.740 on that I think this
00:46:47.500 analogy is conflating and
00:46:48.960 one is like like
00:46:49.940 exploitation of power and
00:46:52.240 but the other is like it
00:46:53.420 is clear that like a lot
00:46:54.300 of people have a lot of
00:46:55.160 loaded feelings around 0.99
00:46:56.260 blowjobs if you were like 0.99
00:46:57.740 hey I have a job 0.99
00:46:59.120 description in which I
00:46:59.880 want you to assist me and
00:47:01.160 also part of the job is 0.99
00:47:02.420 give me blowjobs and 1.00
00:47:03.660 somebody signed up for 0.99
00:47:04.460 that people might be
00:47:06.000 horrified but I think
00:47:06.760 that we should allow
00:47:07.320 this as a society like
00:47:08.980 two consenting adults
00:47:10.080 deciding that they are
00:47:11.640 want to voluntarily
00:47:12.400 enter this agreement
00:47:13.000 let's get the job
00:47:15.960 advert out right now I
00:47:17.360 just realized I rubbed
00:47:18.280 my hands that looks
00:47:19.060 dreadful that looks
00:47:20.340 dreadful and we
00:47:21.140 probably need to cut it
00:47:22.460 this has not been my
00:47:23.460 final this is going in
00:47:24.620 this is going in the one
00:47:28.220 thing that we're not
00:47:29.040 acknowledging here and I
00:47:30.400 think we need to is
00:47:31.920 there's a fly on your
00:47:32.800 head yeah there's a fly
00:47:33.740 this looks like an
00:47:34.740 episode filmed in Africa
00:47:35.840 yeah yeah exactly I
00:47:37.460 don't know what's
00:47:37.900 happened with the flies
00:47:38.680 anyway anyway so the
00:47:40.440 question that I want to
00:47:41.480 ask is this why I am
00:47:43.220 literally surrounded by
00:47:44.540 flies I've got one and 0.98
00:47:45.900 I've killed one we can 1.00
00:47:46.640 cut that you're Barack 1.00
00:47:48.020 Obama do you remember
00:47:48.620 when he killed the fly
00:47:49.420 really yeah everyone
00:47:50.420 thought he was a real
00:47:51.020 man yeah there you go 0.89
00:47:52.660 they did he killed the
00:47:54.220 fly and was like get
00:47:55.120 that show on camera
00:47:56.060 yeah show that I am a
00:47:57.440 man in charge of my own 0.99
00:47:58.460 destiny I can kill an 0.70
00:47:59.340 insect obviously all the 1.00
00:48:00.460 Buddhists have switched 1.00
00:48:01.500 off now but what we're
00:48:03.940 not acknowledging here
00:48:04.940 Ayla is the power 1.00
00:48:05.760 dynamic
00:48:06.300 yes she did acknowledge
00:48:08.640 it
00:48:08.860 but but I don't think
00:48:10.660 that we we really
00:48:12.360 delved into it do you
00:48:13.880 see what I mean like
00:48:14.780 there is a very very
00:48:16.060 real power dynamic and
00:48:17.580 we've seen it again and
00:48:18.640 again and we use the
00:48:20.040 example of PAs but
00:48:21.140 there's other industries
00:48:22.420 particularly the
00:48:23.500 performing arts
00:48:24.260 industries for instance
00:48:25.420 where this has been in
00:48:27.320 existence for decades it's
00:48:30.060 not centuries and it's
00:48:31.720 deeply exploitative
00:48:32.760 uh yeah I generally
00:48:35.300 don't like I find the
00:48:36.580 word exploitative to be
00:48:37.680 like a little bit
00:48:38.240 confused and loaded but 0.91
00:48:39.340 I agree that like sex is 0.97
00:48:41.560 a very loaded thing that 0.79
00:48:42.680 a lot of men want and a 0.98
00:48:43.640 lot of women are like 1.00
00:48:44.260 grr don't have it with
00:48:45.440 me um and so if you
00:48:46.920 introduce this thing with
00:48:47.640 like really intense
00:48:48.500 incentives into any
00:48:50.100 thing it's going to like
00:48:51.860 warp things around it
00:48:53.500 people are going to be
00:48:54.240 like oh maybe if I have 0.99
00:48:56.100 sex with my boss he'll 1.00
00:48:56.920 give me a raise or you 0.99
00:48:58.080 know the boss will be
00:48:58.760 like oh maybe she'll 1.00
00:49:00.220 have sex with me to get 1.00
00:49:01.400 a raise I agree that 1.00
00:49:02.420 this is like a thing
00:49:03.580 that warps incentives
00:49:04.440 okay listen I've got a
00:49:06.220 way of adding to the
00:49:07.920 example we were working
00:49:08.820 with earlier that might
00:49:09.980 be helpful let's say I
00:49:11.620 go to my secretary and I
00:49:13.880 say to her your job
00:49:14.780 description currently is
00:49:16.660 to make coffee to run my
00:49:18.040 diary to book
00:49:18.800 appointments blah blah
00:49:19.760 blah blah however you 0.94
00:49:22.420 currently get paid let's
00:49:23.920 say fifty thousand uh
00:49:25.280 fifty thousand dollars a
00:49:26.160 year let's say right I'm
00:49:27.920 going to double your
00:49:28.680 salary if we modify your
00:49:30.260 job description to
00:49:31.260 include the following sex 0.53
00:49:32.320 acts you think that's a
00:49:34.200 perfectly reasonable thing
00:49:35.500 of of an employer to
00:49:37.100 offer an employee uh I
00:49:39.520 see I think it should be
00:49:41.340 allowed yeah like because
00:49:44.240 she can say no right she
00:49:46.500 can but I imagine most
00:49:49.560 people's reaction to that
00:49:50.960 sort of proposal would be
00:49:52.180 one of intense horror oh I
00:49:57.060 don't have that horror
00:49:57.860 reaction I can tell yeah
00:49:59.820 yeah that that's really
00:50:02.080 interesting that you don't
00:50:03.480 have that reaction because
00:50:04.700 also as well the woman 0.93
00:50:07.060 tends to sex for a woman is 1.00
00:50:10.740 far more fraught than sex for 0.96
00:50:13.460 a man you take you can lose
00:50:16.040 a lot more you have more risk
00:50:17.460 of great of uh catching an
00:50:21.020 STD you know there's a
00:50:22.760 potential for pregnancy etc etc
00:50:24.780 etc there's a reputational
00:50:26.500 damage as well so you would
00:50:30.900 say take away the
00:50:31.720 reputational damage I'm
00:50:32.780 guessing right I would say
00:50:34.680 what take away for most
00:50:36.200 people there is reputational
00:50:37.180 damage yeah yes I agree
00:50:38.400 because you know if somebody
00:50:40.160 does that and you know it's
00:50:42.160 you know and you your
00:50:43.160 argument is look these are
00:50:44.180 two consenting adults and
00:50:45.700 they come to this agreement
00:50:46.760 who are we to make a
00:50:48.700 comment well we all know
00:50:50.040 that society and by society I
00:50:51.600 mean women don't really see 1.00
00:50:53.300 it like that because there
00:50:54.620 will be a lot of women who 1.00
00:50:55.720 will actually yeah a lot of
00:50:58.560 men as well who will just
00:51:00.060 say look this is disgusting 0.54
00:51:01.980 and I know how boring this 0.84
00:51:03.580 person is a you know and
00:51:05.400 they will say all these
00:51:06.300 awful things yeah that's
00:51:08.120 true there's a lot of it's
00:51:09.340 very intense stigma against
00:51:10.500 sex work but I think it's 1.00
00:51:12.580 interesting so for example
00:51:13.480 seeking arrangement is this
00:51:14.920 are you familiar with this
00:51:15.880 website it's a website where
00:51:17.720 it's not escorting it's not
00:51:19.000 quite dating it's like you
00:51:19.880 can be a sugar daddy and
00:51:21.040 like so typically for
00:51:22.680 wealthy or men to find 0.98
00:51:23.880 poor women and then you 1.00
00:51:24.820 take them out to dinner and
00:51:25.600 you buy them gifts in
00:51:26.340 exchange for an arrangement 0.91
00:51:27.200 typically involving sex and
00:51:29.320 this is not prostitution
00:51:31.480 because it's like dating
00:51:33.440 this happens all the time
00:51:34.640 that doesn't wash for me
00:51:37.340 but like normal dating a lot
00:51:39.260 of normal dating culture
00:51:40.160 abides by these rules
00:51:41.180 unspoken like girls want a 1.00
00:51:43.360 rich man rich rich man
00:51:45.940 fantasies are like
00:51:47.140 everywhere the Fifty Shades
00:51:48.380 of Grey is a billionaire
00:51:49.240 like Twilight he's a
00:51:51.460 super like wealthy old
00:51:53.140 person or something
00:51:54.400 but I'm saying that like
00:51:56.260 in general the ancient
00:51:57.580 exchange is like a man 0.98
00:51:59.000 provides financial
00:51:59.640 stability for a woman and
00:52:00.880 she provides him a child 0.86
00:52:01.840 or by proxy sex yeah 0.96
00:52:04.500 and I'm saying to some
00:52:05.620 extent this is always
00:52:06.280 taking place and the more
00:52:07.360 you obfuscate it the more
00:52:08.800 you're saying oh I'm not
00:52:09.680 exchanging sex for money
00:52:10.660 I'm exchanging money for 0.93
00:52:12.300 some other things like
00:52:14.400 financial support it's very
00:52:16.380 trad I'm saying very
00:52:17.360 trad things this is not
00:52:18.440 crazy then people are
00:52:20.440 much more willing to
00:52:21.140 abide by it and what's
00:52:22.200 interesting is that the
00:52:22.960 seeking arrangement prices
00:52:24.000 are much lower than the
00:52:25.420 escort prices like if
00:52:26.840 you're a seeking
00:52:27.280 arrangement girl you can 0.99
00:52:28.160 charge maybe 50 percent
00:52:29.280 if if you were being an
00:52:30.740 escort and this I think
00:52:32.840 we can see is the premium
00:52:33.860 on explicitness so if
00:52:36.620 you're a girl doing this 0.99
00:52:37.720 thing normally but you
00:52:39.480 say explicitly I'm going 0.99
00:52:41.780 to just have sex you get 0.99
00:52:42.960 to charge a lot more 0.99
00:52:43.760 because fewer women are 1.00
00:52:44.720 willing to do that so I
00:52:46.960 think like the question
00:52:47.740 is not are women willing 1.00
00:52:49.580 to exchange sex for value 0.96
00:52:51.020 but rather the horror is
00:52:52.840 at explicitly saying that
00:52:54.760 they're doing that yeah
00:52:55.900 yes yes yeah that is a
00:52:57.720 very trad thing to say in
00:52:59.200 many ways and many a
00:53:00.260 comedian has done a bit on
00:53:02.020 this obviously but moving
00:53:03.800 on I'm curious you also do a
00:53:05.520 lot of research with the
00:53:06.460 stuff that you do and I was
00:53:08.080 curious if you had any
00:53:08.900 insight I mean 50 shades of
00:53:10.760 gray was like by far in a
00:53:13.080 way the best book the
00:53:14.840 best-selling book not the
00:53:16.000 best I'm not personally
00:53:17.000 endorsing it good Freudian
00:53:19.740 slip there we've covered
00:53:21.440 ourselves in glory on this
00:53:22.640 one in this interview we
00:53:23.800 look even worse than the
00:53:25.020 Theo von interview yeah
00:53:26.000 anyway what I was going to
00:53:29.260 say is it was immensely
00:53:31.180 popular and it feels to me
00:53:33.540 like within that there's some
00:53:35.560 kind of social taboo about
00:53:37.260 naming whatever that power
00:53:39.020 dynamic tends to be between
00:53:40.960 men and women what is your
00:53:42.800 insight into why that book
00:53:44.760 was and movie was so
00:53:45.900 popular and what sort of
00:53:46.940 is behind all of that
00:53:47.920 I mean it's just porn for 0.98
00:53:48.880 women like this is no but 1.00
00:53:51.420 we isn't the narrative is 0.92
00:53:53.460 though that evil pornography
00:53:57.320 has created the demand in 0.99
00:53:59.820 men for rough sex which is 0.98
00:54:02.340 horrific to women and this is 1.00
00:54:06.480 kind of like male exploitation
00:54:08.080 you laughed when I said that
00:54:09.580 why did you laugh it's just
00:54:10.900 like there's a lot of
00:54:11.860 things I can agree debates
00:54:12.880 about oh it's like sex work
00:54:14.220 you know bad or good for
00:54:15.260 society at large and like
00:54:16.140 this is like a reasonable
00:54:16.940 thing to inquire but like when
00:54:18.660 it comes to the porn thing
00:54:19.960 it's just one of the things
00:54:20.820 that I find to be so lacking
00:54:22.720 any evidence the evidence is
00:54:24.980 all to the opposite and
00:54:25.820 there's quite a bit of it like
00:54:27.180 my research and a lot of
00:54:28.780 established research is so
00:54:30.220 that women have way more 0.68
00:54:31.200 interest in like violent rough
00:54:32.920 power dynamics than men do 0.92
00:54:33.960 significant like it's just
00:54:35.560 clear it's like one of the
00:54:36.680 most established things which is
00:54:38.580 why I'm like I don't
00:54:39.580 understand why this narrative
00:54:40.760 is so popular so sorry to
00:54:43.360 interrupt I really want to hear
00:54:44.280 the rest of it but just to spell
00:54:45.400 it out and what you're saying
00:54:48.560 is the evidence is in your
00:54:50.180 opinion that women are more 0.85
00:54:52.680 interested in rough sex than men 0.95
00:54:56.660 very much I did one survey it
00:54:59.400 was both of my own audience and
00:55:01.060 also paid random sample of people
00:55:04.040 asking to predict what you think
00:55:05.580 the other person would like in
00:55:06.580 bed and then for men to
00:55:08.380 predict to women what do you 0.95
00:55:09.660 think the woman would like in 0.99
00:55:10.460 bed and I listed a whole bunch
00:55:11.420 of things and then I asked
00:55:12.100 women assuming that the guy is 1.00
00:55:14.600 well-intentioned like he
00:55:15.420 actually thinks you're going to
00:55:16.200 like it assuming he's safe
00:55:17.220 whatever what things would you
00:55:18.920 respond well to if he tried
00:55:20.000 them in bed and so we get to
00:55:22.200 see like a list of like what
00:55:23.460 guys think ladies like and what 1.00
00:55:24.940 girls say they actually want and 1.00
00:55:26.740 but then I I checked it by how 0.77
00:55:28.520 much porn do you want and the 0.96
00:55:29.940 more porn a man watched the more 0.99
00:55:31.360 accurate he was at guessing what 0.97
00:55:33.200 women wanted in bed and the big 1.00
00:55:35.280 difference that the biggest
00:55:36.020 difference was choking between
00:55:37.200 what women reported they wanted
00:55:38.520 to happen and what men thought
00:55:39.780 that women would be okay with 0.98
00:55:40.760 this is just like one small
00:55:42.440 study there's like a whole bunch
00:55:43.500 more and the evolutionary
00:55:45.360 rationale for this I'm guessing
00:55:47.020 would be that a lot of women 1.00
00:55:49.340 have DNA that I mean a lot of
00:55:54.260 women historically were in 1.00
00:55:55.300 situations where it was
00:55:56.280 advantageous to be turned on by
00:55:58.180 somebody who was strong and
00:56:00.900 powerful and quite often 0.87
00:56:02.980 actually a rapist right yeah 0.89
00:56:05.240 like I mean if you look at like 0.99
00:56:06.480 chimps for example their whole 0.98
00:56:08.500 sexual world is full of violence 1.00
00:56:10.540 and like aggression and mate
00:56:12.300 guarding and like the males making
00:56:13.840 sure the females aren't don't go 1.00
00:56:15.060 off alone with another man and
00:56:16.060 like threatening them so it seems
00:56:18.380 like pretty possible that we have
00:56:19.420 something like this in our own
00:56:20.500 history but there's other
00:56:22.600 questions like it's possible that
00:56:24.080 it's a falling testosterone thing
00:56:26.080 because there's some evidence to
00:56:27.680 suggest that testosterone is
00:56:28.680 correlated with sexual dominance and
00:56:30.480 if everybody's testosterone is
00:56:33.000 dropping then we would see women 1.00
00:56:33.980 more submissive and men less
00:56:35.580 interested in dominance is a
00:56:36.960 possibility there's also a thing
00:56:39.320 where as a female like maybe in 0.97
00:56:41.040 history if you reproduce with like
00:56:43.600 a very aggressive man your sons are
00:56:45.540 going to be more likely to
00:56:46.460 reproduce like you're going to give 0.67
00:56:48.240 birth to like like more like I'll 0.99
00:56:51.440 say rapey but like more like you 1.00
00:56:52.640 know dominant more like kind of
00:56:53.900 aggressive kind of males which are
00:56:55.880 going to have greater reproductive
00:56:56.760 success yeah so the history is not
00:56:59.440 always flattering but so you're doing
00:57:02.100 your sex research which is very
00:57:04.480 interesting so I mean the billion
00:57:06.800 dollar question is what is it that
00:57:08.320 women want from men on the whole 1.00
00:57:10.000 what is it that they want from a
00:57:11.420 partner what is it that they want on
00:57:13.580 average from a sexual partner I mean
00:57:15.840 it depends a lot it depends a lot on
00:57:18.160 the woman like a lot of women are 1.00
00:57:20.080 submissive but this is like roughly
00:57:21.340 60 percent and it depends on how you
00:57:22.900 define submissive there's like
00:57:24.000 different way but roughly 60 percent
00:57:26.140 so that's like barely more than half so
00:57:27.760 we have a whole 40 percent that
00:57:28.840 aren't interested in that at all
00:57:29.860 so it's like to say like one
00:57:32.260 generalization is going to be quite
00:57:34.000 hard yeah but I think generally
00:57:35.720 competence is pretty valued
00:57:37.200 competence and attentiveness and
00:57:39.660 power like if you can establish
00:57:41.060 yourself as a sexually desirable 0.57
00:57:42.340 mate like a lot of other women 0.99
00:57:44.100 want you but that basically if you
00:57:46.420 could just be a romance novel
00:57:47.640 protagonist
00:57:48.200 yeah a lot of other ladies want you 1.00
00:57:53.780 um and but you are kind of non-reactive
00:57:56.080 to women um what does that mean 0.91
00:57:58.440 non-reactive uh sort of like you in the
00:58:02.340 same way that like being an
00:58:03.560 attractive woman is being very 1.00
00:58:05.180 reactive to the man like he wants to
00:58:06.740 to know that he has like the ability to
00:58:08.820 like change your mental state and like
00:58:10.780 positive and negative ways yeah like you
00:58:13.560 tease you and you're like have a strong
00:58:15.280 response yeah um and this indicates
00:58:17.560 like vulnerability and I don't know
00:58:19.080 like pliableness but like what women 1.00
00:58:21.020 want is basically the reverse you want
00:58:22.700 like a man who is not like super
00:58:25.120 reactive to you he wants to be like
00:58:27.400 steady and strong and sort of stoic in
00:58:30.020 a way would be very common really and
00:58:33.260 normally women always say sense of 0.99
00:58:35.040 humor is that a thing or is that just
00:58:36.900 a myth I know that's a thing really
00:58:39.420 just demonstrating like competence and
00:58:41.200 intelligence yeah but the thing I would
00:58:43.620 suggest with humor is humor frequently
00:58:46.660 is a coping mechanism it's a coping
00:58:49.020 mechanism it's normally you look at
00:58:51.340 every stand-up comedian I've ever met
00:58:53.320 they're all adhd'd out of their brain
00:58:55.320 including me so I like how does that
00:58:58.220 work you know are you are you do you
00:59:00.680 use it as a coping mechanism yeah
00:59:02.440 absolutely I see yeah I wonder if
00:59:04.420 there's a difference between comedians
00:59:05.640 and normal people though who are just
00:59:07.160 funny yeah there is yeah comedians are 0.99
00:59:10.100 fucking mental yeah that's the difference 0.99
00:59:11.620 dude I know one of the like most 0.99
00:59:13.000 emotionally traumatized clients I ever
00:59:14.340 have is a comedian
00:59:14.980 I'm pausing for an extra time waiting
00:59:18.960 for you to say his name but I didn't
00:59:21.140 expect it to come
00:59:22.060 yeah that's interesting okay so that
00:59:26.360 would get a lot more clicks though
00:59:27.540 yeah
00:59:27.820 we're gonna we're gonna do a little poll
00:59:32.420 to see who we think it is yeah um but
00:59:35.180 so
00:59:35.960 so let's look at it on in terms of a
00:59:39.840 kind of almost like a league table as
00:59:41.780 it were and some unscientific as that
00:59:44.260 term is so what is the thing that
00:59:46.000 women desire the most on average is it 1.00
00:59:48.140 the stoicness is it the bend
00:59:49.920 dependability is it the competence is
00:59:52.460 it
00:59:52.720 this is like asking like what is the
00:59:56.580 most central feature to being a woman 0.99
00:59:58.800 yeah it's like well we can name some
01:00:01.160 things but like yeah uh it's a really
01:00:03.520 fraught topic yeah uh I think like
01:00:06.200 generally power is pretty close and
01:00:09.020 that can manifest in a lot of
01:00:10.160 different ways but yeah yeah that makes
01:00:13.220 a lot of sense and for for very good
01:00:14.940 evolutionary reasons
01:00:15.660 in terms of your research what I'd love
01:00:18.180 to know is what do you think uh some
01:00:20.960 of the most misunderstood and also just
01:00:23.580 like we don't talk about the truth about
01:00:26.360 sex dynamics men and women like what
01:00:28.920 are the things that people pretend that
01:00:31.820 are true that are not true pretend
01:00:33.820 aren't true that are true do you just
01:00:35.540 what I'm getting in set oh uh probably
01:00:37.720 the origin of fetishes oh tell us about
01:00:39.980 that well so well fetishes in general
01:00:42.240 like we don't have good research at all
01:00:43.980 about how sexuality works I mean we know
01:00:46.080 a couple of clues here and there like
01:00:47.420 maybe hormones cause being gay or
01:00:49.020 something but beyond that we just don't
01:00:50.680 have a clue and the contrast of how much
01:00:53.160 we know versus the amount of very
01:00:55.160 intense cultural uh supposed knowledge
01:00:57.620 like you'll have people very confidently
01:00:59.280 making claims about uh like oh well you 0.97
01:01:02.480 know you're into like sexual like rape 0.98
01:01:05.260 play because you're abused as a child 0.98
01:01:06.600 which technically is correct but you
01:01:08.180 don't know that um there's just a lot
01:01:11.240 of like oh you know you're into foot
01:01:13.160 fetishes because you're exposed to feet
01:01:15.080 as a kid um weren't we all exactly
01:01:18.580 exposed to feet I mean I saw quite a lot
01:01:21.600 of feet I don't have a foot fetish
01:01:23.100 but also as well what is a fetish because
01:01:26.840 in this incredibly polarized time you know
01:01:30.720 if a guy for instance likes and is sex
01:01:33.380 more sexually attracted to I don't know
01:01:35.420 Asian women that is seen as a fetish or 0.82
01:01:37.600 is that a sexual preference yeah I don't
01:01:40.020 think like these words are like we can
01:01:41.880 use words to refer to things but there's
01:01:44.060 no hard line and I think in general like
01:01:46.680 when people are like researching fetishes
01:01:49.360 and paraphilias I don't think those
01:01:50.680 terminologies are very useful all we have
01:01:52.680 is just sexual interests and some are more
01:01:54.240 common than others we have a spectrum
01:01:55.620 and we have a spectrum of like how taboo
01:01:58.020 are is your sexual interest and we can
01:02:00.040 like use a word to refer to like well
01:02:01.400 kind of the fetishes at this far end are
01:02:03.540 maybe more fetishy or something I saw a
01:02:05.960 great meme about that which is like it's
01:02:08.280 three normal boxes like guys who like 0.97
01:02:10.340 boobs guy who likes butts guy who likes 0.98
01:02:12.260 something else and then feet and there's 0.99
01:02:13.640 like this guy fucking brilliant yeah so 0.98
01:02:17.500 how how do fetishes develop you were 0.97
01:02:20.080 saying earlier we don't know uh don't
01:02:22.400 know my this is one of the things I'm
01:02:24.960 trying to find in my research and it's
01:02:26.640 like a weird amount of stuff doesn't
01:02:28.560 correlate that you would think do
01:02:30.080 correlate like for example being spanked
01:02:31.860 in childhood does correlate with
01:02:33.080 interest in spanking in adulthood but
01:02:34.440 only barely like it wouldn't really
01:02:36.660 you wouldn't be able to predict it
01:02:37.740 very much and this is like really
01:02:39.940 counter to a lot of narratives about
01:02:41.660 how like spanking fetishes develop for 1.00
01:02:43.420 example it's it's really weird yeah
01:02:46.380 although they're one of the strange I
01:02:48.740 need to look at that I have a lot of
01:02:50.100 data that I'm like slowly working
01:02:51.360 through so I've kind of done some
01:02:53.160 glancing so let's take it with a grain
01:02:54.780 of salt but it seems that there's
01:02:56.720 unusual relationship in childhood and
01:02:58.820 fetishes for trans men specifically
01:03:00.600 but not trans women or uh straight or
01:03:04.160 cis people like as in things in
01:03:06.720 childhood correlate a lot more with
01:03:07.860 fetishes in adulthood but only for that
01:03:09.760 category that's really interesting and
01:03:11.540 why is it that a foot fetish is a
01:03:14.760 pretty mainstream thing yet it has such
01:03:17.380 a strong like if I knew someone had a
01:03:20.020 foot fetish I'll be honest with you I'd
01:03:21.640 be I'd think they're a little bit weird
01:03:23.380 do you know what I mean yeah you know
01:03:25.080 foot fetishes are actually relatively
01:03:26.600 uncommon given how aware we are of them
01:03:29.260 yeah yeah it's but it's they've got
01:03:32.020 great PIs yeah it's like you know
01:03:34.320 there's a and we don't know this is a
01:03:36.620 rumor you know Tarantino has a foot
01:03:38.520 fetish and then you look at every single
01:03:40.640 one of his movies and and then there is
01:03:43.460 like you know there's the toe sucking or
01:03:45.180 whatever it may be in his movies and you
01:03:47.780 go I kind of and maybe this is me being
01:03:51.960 prim and proper like there's a slight
01:03:53.780 judgmental air to it do you know what I
01:03:55.520 mean do you feel the same about like
01:03:58.480 gay people for example which no no but I 0.89
01:04:01.200 just think foot fetishes what about like 0.99
01:04:02.880 fuzzy handcuffs sorry fuzzy handcuffs like
01:04:05.700 somebody's like I really want to be in
01:04:06.700 fuzzy handcuffs no okay I'm just like
01:04:09.220 trying to find like where the line is
01:04:10.560 what about keep going somebody wants to 0.99
01:04:12.520 pee on on you sorry fucking weird okay 1.00
01:04:15.500 that's weird yeah what else are he's 0.99
01:04:19.060 really into like braids they really
01:04:21.360 braids if a girl puts her hair in 0.88
01:04:22.960 braids they're just like that's really
01:04:24.600 hot 0.99
01:04:24.940 is that a sex fetish that's just a 0.94
01:04:29.060 hairstyle anything is a fetish well look 0.62
01:04:31.260 I kind of get like if you're having 0.67
01:04:33.120 sex and you pull the braids do you 0.96
01:04:35.460 know what I mean like did you see you 0.67
01:04:38.800 can pull look this is this conversation
01:04:40.980 is going the wrong way fast because I
01:04:43.060 was about to say you can pull hair too
01:04:44.480 anyway no braids is not weird no peeing
01:04:48.580 weird feet weird okay feet feet weird
01:04:52.040 it's just weird and like you ask me and
01:04:55.220 like you go right let's look at this 0.96
01:04:57.100 logically right do you like boobs yes 0.99
01:04:59.040 do you like bums yes so what's the 0.99
01:05:01.200 difference there is nothing there is no 0.81
01:05:03.520 difference between like bums and feet
01:05:04.860 but well it's just a part of the human
01:05:07.280 body you're attracted to a part of the
01:05:09.640 human body some people are attracted to
01:05:11.420 that part of the human body so is the
01:05:12.760 toenail yeah doesn't mean toenail 0.98
01:05:14.660 fetishes are normal it's fucking weird 0.94
01:05:16.500 and by weird you mean abnormal yeah 0.92
01:05:20.360 yeah yeah but like most fetishes are
01:05:22.880 pretty abnormal
01:05:23.460 yeah and it's just like I don't think I'd
01:05:25.860 trust someone if they had a foot face no
01:05:27.500 you should be able to ask that on an employee
01:05:31.500 survey you probably know a lot of friends
01:05:32.100 who have a foot fetish say again you
01:05:33.760 probably know many people many of your
01:05:35.140 friends probably have a foot fetish but
01:05:36.300 have not told you well if you are you're
01:05:38.360 no longer our friend yeah unsubscribed
01:05:40.540 imagine we come back to the channel
01:05:43.760 say halved turns out we just attracted a
01:05:47.720 legion of foot fetishes well it's been a
01:05:51.180 lot of fun thank you for letting us sort
01:05:53.340 of prod and find stuff out it's been
01:05:55.080 really really cool to chat with you I
01:05:57.040 feel like my virginity has grown back at
01:05:58.740 time so thank you for that yeah no but
01:06:01.220 it's been really fun with the question
01:06:03.500 we last question we always ask is what's
01:06:05.860 before we go to our locals where we ask
01:06:07.760 you questions from our audience and if
01:06:09.140 there's any foot fetish people you're
01:06:10.600 getting deleted unless you're a top
01:06:13.520 level patron in which case welcome yeah
01:06:15.500 exactly we'll be posting photos of your
01:06:17.720 feet for your patrons we should do that
01:06:20.400 shouldn't we do you know you know what
01:06:21.880 imagine we could make way more money
01:06:23.660 than we do now just selling pictures of
01:06:25.420 our feet I mean we're not women so it 1.00
01:06:27.540 wouldn't happen no I mean imagine that
01:06:29.440 imagine if like Rogan contacted us like
01:06:31.720 next year's like hey lads you want to
01:06:33.000 come back on the pod turns out mate
01:06:34.740 we're making way more money selling
01:06:36.180 pictures of feet feet anometry yeah
01:06:39.160 anyway Ayla before we go to locals
01:06:41.360 where we'll ask you questions from our
01:06:42.680 audience the last question we always
01:06:44.620 finish with is an opportunity for you to
01:06:46.700 basically say whatever you think which
01:06:47.940 is what's the one thing that we're not
01:06:49.580 talking about as a society that you
01:06:51.300 think we really should be I'm trying to
01:06:54.080 think of what we already covered maybe
01:06:56.460 like a modification on some things I've
01:06:58.080 said for my perspective having been in
01:07:01.740 sex work for 10 years in the last I would 0.85
01:07:03.960 say two to four years there's been a
01:07:08.120 change on the internet like a prudish
01:07:10.020 chilling effect there's been a
01:07:13.320 backlash basically against sexuality
01:07:14.960 that's starting to shut down what is
01:07:16.600 allowed to be posted where that I find
01:07:19.100 to be quite tragic as a lover of
01:07:21.080 sexuality and this is I haven't seen
01:07:23.420 people talking about this like the
01:07:25.320 new child more than because what are
01:07:26.900 you talking about specifically I just
01:07:29.200 like you the things that are allowed on
01:07:32.120 the internet just aren't anymore like
01:07:33.820 on OnlyFans you can't do bondage
01:07:36.160 material used to be able to like they've
01:07:39.200 taken down a whole bunch of fetish
01:07:40.640 options from websites a whole bunch of
01:07:43.440 sex subreddits got banned from reddit
01:07:45.120 like a couple years ago anything that's
01:07:47.340 like abnormal the sex subreddits by the
01:07:49.300 way the niche ones got also banned with
01:07:50.960 like a lot of things dedicated to trans
01:07:53.280 discourse on both sides so whatever
01:07:56.060 sort of prudish effect is coming is
01:07:58.940 stealing like oh anything that's like
01:08:00.360 too edgy or too inappropriate might make
01:08:02.960 people feel offended these are just
01:08:05.320 getting whitewashed off the internet
01:08:06.680 like DuckDuckGo for example used to be
01:08:08.940 the go-to porn engine it's supposed to
01:08:10.460 be the uncensored one you can't search
01:08:11.780 porn on there anymore it's non-porn so
01:08:15.600 basically like sexuality especially niche
01:08:18.080 sexuality and especially like edgy ones
01:08:20.040 that most people like are a little
01:08:21.500 offended by are like slowly getting
01:08:25.060 censored off of everywhere and nobody
01:08:27.640 cares because it's porn like with like
01:08:29.780 trans discourse people fight about it and
01:08:31.780 then we have a whole culture war but
01:08:33.700 nobody's willing to stand up publicly
01:08:35.340 for like the weird niche sex stuff and
01:08:37.500 I find that really tragic actually I was
01:08:39.000 gonna ask you about trans but we'll ask
01:08:40.420 you about that in the local section so
01:08:42.640 thank you so much for coming on head on
01:08:44.500 over to locals where we continue the
01:08:45.860 conversation what do you make of the
01:08:49.200 whole trans conversation
01:08:50.400 broadway's smash hit the neil diamond
01:09:00.120 musical a beautiful noise is coming to
01:09:03.100 toronto the true story of a kid from
01:09:05.240 brooklyn destined for something more
01:09:07.140 featuring all the songs you love
01:09:08.900 including america forever in blue jeans
01:09:11.360 and sweet caroline like jersey boys and
01:09:14.260 beautiful the next musical mega hit is
01:09:16.600 here the neil diamond musical a beautiful
01:09:19.260 noise april 28th through june 7th 2026 the
01:09:23.060 princess of wales theater get tickets at
01:09:25.560 mirvish.com