TRIGGERnometry - Dating Advice for Men From a Woman

00:00:00.000 Hello and welcome to Trigonometry. I'm Francis Foster. I'm Constantin Kissinger. And this is

00:00:09.480 a show for you if you're bored with people arguing on the internet over subjects they

00:00:14.100 know nothing about. In Trigonometry, we don't pretend to be the experts, we ask the experts.

00:00:20.380 Our brilliant guest this week is a leading female dating and attraction expert for men,

00:00:25.660 Kezia Noble. Welcome to Trigonometry. Hi, thank you for having me.

00:00:28.900 It is great to have you here. And before we get into the meat of the interview, tell us a little bit about who are you, how are you, where you are.

00:00:35.640 How do you find yourself sitting in this chair telling us all about what you're going to tell us about?

00:00:39.520 Well, as you said, I'm a leading female dating and attraction expert for men.

00:00:43.540 I only help men, don't help women, because that would be the blind leading the blind. 1.00

00:00:48.880 I've been doing this since 2006. I have my own company, my own team.

00:00:53.620 I have, I think, 30 people working for me.

00:00:56.920 They're based in Britain and the U.S.

00:01:02.100 I run courses, boot camps, seven-day mastery programs,

00:01:06.100 and I have my online training programs too.

00:01:08.720 I'm a published author.

00:01:10.280 I have a YouTube channel that's had 70 million views.

00:01:16.340 Oh.

00:01:17.320 You know I didn't get the silver thing that they send through

00:01:20.720 when you get 100,000 subscribers.

00:01:22.840 You know I get that.

00:01:23.620 No, I didn't.

00:01:24.200 I'm on 400 and something thousand.

00:01:26.080 So I thought I was going to get something like a gold.

00:01:28.220 But you only get the gold when you hit a million.

00:01:30.280 Right.

00:01:30.820 And yeah, that's my life in a nutshell.

00:01:32.860 Do you get demonetized on YouTube?

00:01:35.060 Yes.

00:01:35.800 Really?

00:01:36.380 Yeah.

00:01:36.640 You get demonetized?

00:01:37.700 Yeah, for some videos.

00:01:38.520 Yeah.

00:01:38.960 For what?

00:01:40.340 How to get a girl into bed super fast. 1.00

00:01:44.500 That one didn't, you know.

00:01:46.360 They didn't like that one.

00:01:47.680 Right.

00:01:48.160 But some of them are really random.

00:01:50.080 Like how to not run out of things to say with a woman. 0.99

00:01:53.620 demonetized

00:01:54.600 I know

00:01:56.020 random

00:01:57.520 yeah

00:01:58.060 well that's horrific 0.99

00:01:59.140 shit that no one 1.00

00:02:00.180 should ever see 1.00

00:02:00.600 Google likes

00:02:01.280 boring conversations

00:02:02.400 and terrorism

00:02:03.540 yeah

00:02:04.040 yeah

00:02:04.420 so I was watching

00:02:06.760 one of your videos

00:02:07.380 I think it was about

00:02:08.720 something to do

00:02:11.080 with how to

00:02:11.680 compliment a woman

00:02:12.580 oh yeah

00:02:13.140 and you were talking

00:02:14.380 about the fact that

00:02:15.540 just saying something

00:02:17.120 like oh you look

00:02:17.940 lovely or whatever

00:02:18.760 is not 1.00

00:02:19.580 is shit 0.99

00:02:20.900 because it does not 1.00

00:02:21.780 communicate

00:02:22.240 your real intent

00:02:23.580 right you were saying you need to make it more sexy so okay well i was going to quote you a

00:02:28.780 specific example but do correct me okay so if you okay there's there's two types of compliments so

00:02:36.280 there's one which is uh you have to make the compliment feel very detailed and bespoke that

00:02:40.600 doesn't necessarily mean that you have to sex it up so you could say something like oh my god you're

00:02:46.080 adorable like you look like a disney i don't know princess or something i can't put my finger on it

00:02:52.220 it just shows that it's a little bit tailor-made for her

00:02:55.440 and it's a little bit of thought.

00:02:59.080 I love the way that, you know,

00:03:00.520 you put your outfit together, for instance.

00:03:03.400 I love the fact that you know how to do makeup.

00:03:05.580 So many girls don't have a clue about how to put on makeup. 1.00

00:03:08.020 It's specific.

00:03:08.880 It means you've noticed something about her

00:03:11.160 that she's put some effort in.

00:03:12.780 It's that detail.

00:03:14.200 If you say lovely, beautiful, attractive, it's generic.

00:03:18.820 You could say that to the next girl 0.98

00:03:20.500 and she knows that.

00:03:22.220 But something specific always, what we found, creates a better reaction.

00:03:28.600 Sure.

00:03:28.840 Now, the part when you sex it up, that's if you're like in that nice guy zone.

00:03:33.940 So you were talking about this and you were talking, you're a man, you're sitting down with a woman,

00:03:40.300 you're having a conversation, everything's going well, you need to sex it up, you need to take it to the next level. 0.96

00:03:46.860 And the example that was given in that video was like, I think your legs are very sexual, something a lot, a compliment about her legs. 1.00

00:03:55.980 Yeah, your legs look hot. 0.95

00:03:57.160 Your legs look hot.

00:03:58.040 Something like that.

00:03:58.380 Right.

00:03:58.900 Now, I'm not on the dating scene, but I know a lot of people just in the, look at Frances's face. 1.00

00:04:07.000 It's like in our world, right, certainly among comedians or whatever,

00:04:11.040 if you went out for a drink with a female comedian

00:04:14.460 and you thought you were getting on and then you made that,

00:04:18.160 I mean, that could literally kill your career permanently, right?

00:04:22.600 Then don't go out with somebody.

00:04:24.500 That you are in the same industry with.

00:04:25.620 Or I wouldn't use that, maybe somebody that you're going to see again and again and again.

00:04:30.360 But at some point, I mean, you are going to have to escalate it.

00:04:33.100 So if you're not going to do it verbally, then you have to do it physically.

00:04:37.000 you are going to have to go in for the kiss at some point.

00:04:39.480 Yeah.

00:04:40.280 Right?

00:04:40.760 Yeah.

00:04:41.340 So some people would be like,

00:04:42.760 well, I'm going to test the water and see.

00:04:46.140 And look, you know something,

00:04:47.060 let's just rewind this for a second.

00:04:48.880 If a woman is attracted to a guy 0.98

00:04:51.880 and he turns around and says, 1.00

00:04:52.800 your legs are fucking hot, 1.00

00:04:54.180 she's going to like it. 1.00

00:04:55.640 Yes.

00:04:56.180 She might say, oh, it's a bit cheeky.

00:04:58.300 Yeah.

00:04:58.800 But she's going to like it.

00:05:00.040 She's going to like it.

00:05:00.500 If she doesn't fancy the guy,

00:05:02.120 she's not going to like it.

00:05:03.220 So it's your way of testing the water.

00:05:05.440 so if she's like

00:05:06.500 like that

00:05:08.280 a bit uncomfortable

00:05:09.060 after you've said

00:05:09.760 something like that

00:05:10.380 you're like

00:05:10.720 well I'm not backing down

00:05:11.660 you've got beautiful legs

00:05:12.780 you don't back down

00:05:14.240 but then you can know

00:05:15.140 okay

00:05:15.500 she's not that interested

00:05:17.000 right now

00:05:17.680 if she just kind of goes

00:05:19.340 really do you think so

00:05:21.260 or

00:05:21.600 oh no they're awful

00:05:22.460 my legs

00:05:23.020 because it means she carries

00:05:23.880 wanting to talk about it

00:05:25.160 that's a good sign

00:05:26.400 so I'll give you an example

00:05:27.540 if a guy

00:05:28.260 and I've had guys

00:05:29.220 that I've put in the friend zone

00:05:30.740 and I'm like trying to get

00:05:31.640 out of the friend zone

00:05:32.240 I'll be like

00:05:32.620 oh Kezia 1.00

00:05:33.080 wow you look so hot

00:05:34.740 And I'll be like, thanks.

00:05:36.580 And I'll go back to your friend zone.

00:05:37.680 So they go, thanks.

00:05:38.800 Because what we do is we shut it down.

00:05:40.980 Like, okay, thank you.

00:05:42.220 Oh, so cute.

00:05:43.300 Thanks.

00:05:43.800 So adorable. 0.54

00:05:44.660 Shut down.

00:05:45.440 Don't bring up any more.

00:05:46.440 If it's a guy I like, I'm like, oh, really?

00:05:48.100 You think so?

00:05:48.980 Or, oh, I'm really insecure about my legs.

00:05:51.340 It's meaning, can you validate me a little bit more?

00:05:53.840 Can I hear this a little bit more?

00:05:56.220 Because it's, the way we're talking about it,

00:05:58.800 and you were saying that a lot of your fan base

00:06:00.960 is actually based in America.

00:06:02.140 I imagine with some British guys, isn't this excruciatingly difficult going, compliment her?

00:06:09.160 Because we're so bound as British people.

00:06:11.560 We just can't even express ourselves emotionally.

00:06:14.380 They find it more difficult, yeah.

00:06:15.760 And plus we've been, well, guys have been watching Hugh Grant movies and thinking, oh, that's what women like.

00:06:22.040 No, they don't.

00:06:23.080 Only when Hugh Grant does it in those movies, they don't.

00:06:27.660 Women do not fancy that kind of guy. 1.00

00:06:29.580 Unless he's showing other elements.

00:06:30.880 You can be like this really good guy.

00:06:34.880 A lot of people think I'm trying to teach guys to be the bad guy.

00:06:38.600 That's another common mistake people make.

00:06:42.740 But I'm teaching guys to just show that they're not one-dimensional nice guys.

00:06:47.340 Like I've been on dates with men, my ex-husband, for example, and he was like very perfect.

00:06:53.660 You know, like just came from a good family.

00:06:56.380 He was really polite and just treated me like a lady.

00:06:59.560 and I enjoyed it but I was like something's missing I don't know what it is something's

00:07:03.640 missing maybe I like bad guys maybe I'm just one of those women I'm just gonna end up with some

00:07:08.220 awful guy and we were having dinner and I was about to tell him look you're a really nice guy

00:07:15.880 but there's just no chemistry and he leaned in and I thought he was just gonna like say something

00:07:22.780 like pass me something, he was like, 1.00

00:07:25.660 oh, you know, I can't wait to fuck you. 1.00

00:07:28.780 Something like this, yeah, really. 1.00

00:07:30.280 But he was like totally unapologetic about it.

00:07:33.240 Can you pass me the red wine?

00:07:35.640 I was like, ah, that was the missing piece.

00:07:37.840 You've got to be bold and show that other side to you.

00:07:40.820 Otherwise the girl's just going to be like, 1.00

00:07:42.840 yeah, he's just another nice guy

00:07:44.440 that I can't see anything happening with, you know?

00:07:48.680 Because it's amazing.

00:07:49.520 It's bold, but fortune favors the bold, right?

00:07:51.380 Yeah, absolutely it favours the bold.

00:07:53.500 I just can't imagine a lot of British guys doing that.

00:07:56.480 Like, you say that, I can imagine an American guy.

00:07:58.980 Like, you know, I can imagine a Latino guy.

00:08:01.000 Yeah, I mean, they'd say that after 50 seconds.

00:08:03.100 But I can't imagine a British guy saying that

00:08:06.000 and delivering those words comfortably

00:08:08.020 unless they were absolutely battered.

00:08:11.020 I've experienced this with British guys.

00:08:13.040 It's less so.

00:08:14.040 British guys, I wouldn't say they're, yeah,

00:08:18.540 they're not so good with women.

00:08:19.760 and I

00:08:20.200 they've got the banter

00:08:22.980 which is good

00:08:23.860 they've got the banter

00:08:24.880 they've got the humour

00:08:26.220 but yeah

00:08:29.720 when it comes to

00:08:30.480 sexual escalation

00:08:31.360 there is an insecurity there

00:08:33.080 there is that hesitance

00:08:35.400 I've noticed

00:08:36.120 and so

00:08:38.300 can I ask you questions?

00:08:40.360 yeah go for it

00:08:41.040 oh this is going to be good

00:08:42.080 how did you get with

00:08:43.220 I don't want to know

00:08:43.860 like the whole story

00:08:44.900 with your

00:08:45.740 how you got with your partners

00:08:47.360 like oh how we met

00:08:48.540 but there's got to be

00:08:49.420 this point where you first kissed yeah now uh okay this is i know this is gonna be like a little bit

00:08:57.560 private but okay how did you have your first kiss were you plastered were you drunk um uh no uh so

00:09:06.280 i'm sober there we go uh um and uh most of the time yeah and uh no i met my girlfriend uh doing

00:09:14.420 comedy so i ran a gig um and she was just starting out doing comedy she wanted a spot she wanted a

00:09:20.560 spot yeah love is transactional that's what you need she wanted something i needed something

00:09:29.520 exchange it is absolutely bless her uh and then uh i was up at the edinburgh festival and i asked

00:09:36.340 if she wanted another spot again this doesn't make me this is a slow burner you know what you're

00:09:40.600 like this is a slow burner yeah exactly this is francis ruining his career live on air and i'm

00:09:45.960 enjoying it and so is that so is our producer everybody's downfall yeah i'm mean to myself 0.99

00:09:52.000 mate as long as you didn't grab her ass at some point without her consent yeah well you haven't 0.98

00:09:58.680 even anyway you haven't even heard i can't believe i'm telling this story that's good get it get off 1.00

00:10:04.480 your chest get off the chest hang yourself great okay so uh we were at the edinburgh festival and

00:10:10.100 then i said to her would you like to go for a drink and she went yes uh and then she brought

00:10:14.540 her friend along with her that's a bad sign yeah so then i brought my friend along and uh we ended

00:10:20.640 up having a really sort of awkward conversation uh we then carried on to a bar and uh she bought

00:10:29.100 me a shot and uh and was just like go on have the shot i've been about eight months sober by this

00:10:35.540 point i had the shot we we then got on great guns she went home i carried on drinking uh

00:10:42.140 i had to be taken for the rest of his life nothing happened that evening no kissing no no kissing

00:10:48.280 yeah yeah and then i had to be taken home and then uh and then from then on we just started

00:10:54.240 hanging out and slow burner slow burner slow burner and then uh we were i was just like we 0.84

00:11:01.380 were walking down the road and i thought fuck it i mean if it's gonna happen it's gonna you know 0.97

00:11:05.900 i've got to try something so i leaned in i kissed bold yeah you had to be bold at some point and you 0.98

00:11:10.520 just went for it now what if she'd have said oh excuse me what are you doing uh i would have been

00:11:16.020 like that makes sense let's carry on walking but you know how many guys wouldn't have done that

00:11:21.140 they'd have just carried on and on and maybe they would have thought oh you know what i'll do it

00:11:24.500 when i'm really sure she likes me and then they wait and wait so many guys have waited waited

00:11:29.660 waited and it's been like month two months and then she's found someone else in the meantime or

00:11:34.320 she'll be like oh i actually because you never you know you never did anything i just presumed

00:11:40.060 you didn't like me um or they just start seeing you as just that eternal friend so you did a bold

00:11:47.180 move that's good but you had time to play with her because you know you kept giving her this spot on 0.98

00:11:53.880 good no but that's good you're using your resources why why does me why do we have to

00:11:59.300 say me too like that's what people do women use their looks to lure guys into dates you know we 1.00

00:12:06.000 use our looks right well this is what i was going to ask you but i'm curious what you make of uh

00:12:10.220 feminism in the in the current in the car do you consider it 1.00

00:12:13.740 are you a feminist yourself i'm a single mom i take no money from my ex-partner who's a multi 1.00

00:12:23.580 multimillionaire okay so he doesn't pay any child maintenance I run my own company left school at

00:12:29.600 15 I've never I've been out with very wealthy men never relied on them for money or anything never

00:12:36.280 been sponsored by anyone so I don't know is that that sounds like a feminist to me that does sound 1.00

00:12:44.800 like a feminist without preaching to other people so when people say are you famous I'm like but I'm

00:12:51.740 kind of living that life of a feminist. 1.00

00:12:54.220 I'm just not

00:12:55.040 preaching about it to other people. 0.99

00:12:58.400 You're a bad feminist. 1.00

00:13:00.160 Am I? 0.98

00:13:01.040 No, but that's my joke, right?

00:13:02.660 No, no, it's fine. I want to know. Am I a bad feminist? 0.97

00:13:04.820 No, you're not.

00:13:05.880 So what's a bad feminist then? 1.00

00:13:09.160 Well, I was only joking.

00:13:11.620 No, no, no. I don't get offended by anything.

00:13:13.680 Only if you mention my weight or anything.

00:13:17.180 Your weight is brilliant

00:13:18.900 and your chin looks great.

00:13:20.020 my question my joke was more based around the fact that a lot of these feminism and other 1.00

00:13:26.820 movements they seem to be about preaching rather than living this is exactly the point that you're

00:13:31.720 making yeah so i actually think someone like you is is a good i'll give you an example of what

00:13:36.720 happened okay so i put something on social media which is it was international women's day which

00:13:42.100 i think it's just i just get i think it's cringe and i think international man's day is cringe and

00:13:46.920 International Anything Day is a bit cringe.

00:13:50.140 Not all of it, but the Man and Woman Day is a bit cringe

00:13:53.240 because I was watching this thing unfold on social media,

00:13:56.180 International Women's Day,

00:13:57.840 and it was like there was a lot of cupcakes and things involved,

00:14:01.600 like a lot of people posting cupcakes and stuff.

00:14:03.760 I was like, ugh.

00:14:04.560 And I said, I'm sorry, I just don't agree with this whole International Women's Day. 0.99

00:14:08.660 And, oh, my God, the backlash I had from the feminist movement. 1.00

00:14:12.200 I don't know who these people were.

00:14:13.880 A lot of them had blue hair.

00:14:16.920 And they targeted me on Facebook.

00:14:19.420 They didn't know what they were up against because I've got, like,

00:14:21.940 all these followers that were just, you know, slamming these people.

00:14:27.940 I was like, no, no, no, I'm going to respond properly to these people. 0.99

00:14:30.340 So they started calling me a penis panderer. 0.98

00:14:32.420 I was like, that's brilliant. 1.00

00:14:33.360 I'm a penis panderer. 1.00

00:14:35.960 Hashtag penis panderer. 0.99

00:14:37.560 I've never heard of this one before. 1.00

00:14:38.860 They said, you're just pandering to the penis, the way you dress. 0.99

00:14:42.000 You are hashtag part of the problem, all this. 0.98

00:14:45.520 and I wrote a great response and first of all I made sure that I was in a very provocative kind 0.96

00:14:50.860 of penis panderer position you know my my bikini or looking really like vulnerable and things and 0.98

00:14:57.800 I put on there like a message saying yeah maybe I'm a penis panderer maybe I love men attention 0.99

00:15:02.140 I do I really like men attention um but also I am a single mom I'm also somebody who thinks 0.92

00:15:09.040 feminism is essentially a good thing um so why do we have to like classify what's this identity 1.00

00:15:15.700 politics all of a sudden why can't we be many things in that sense like am i left wing right

00:15:22.180 wing you know like there's lots of different um aspects of both that i agree with and i don't

00:15:28.260 agree with and it comes down to this so i wrote this message saying you know in my life there's

00:15:34.120 lot of guys who have kind of you know fallen out with because they've underestimated me or whatever

00:15:42.280 they've said when i'm angry that i'm hysterical the kind of usual stuff that women moan about 0.99

00:15:46.600 guys but it's like the people who have actually really held me back have been women

00:15:51.080 in my life my own personal experience it's like women haven't given me the leg up at all

00:15:56.520 Oh, help me. 0.96

00:15:58.560 I found that men have been better allies to me than women. 0.91

00:16:04.820 But anyway, I put this response out and actually it went a little bit viral.

00:16:09.360 A lot of people started reposting, going, this is real feminism. 1.00

00:16:12.660 What she's doing by herself, all this, this is real feminism. 1.00

00:16:16.680 And that was from both men and women. 0.89

00:16:18.980 That's why I made the joke that you're a bad feminist 1.00

00:16:21.260 because actually I think someone who does that, 0.56

00:16:23.780 they are a good feminist and it's the people running around shutting down everyone else and 1.00

00:16:29.600 like you say it's fascinating that you bring up identity politics because this is something we

00:16:33.300 talk about all the time okay and this is exactly where we're coming from which is the simple

00:16:38.060 understanding that people are much more complex than these simple categories that they get

00:16:41.980 thrown into but the reason I brought up the feminist issue in the first place is you were 1.00

00:16:46.940 talking about using looks to get attention and stuff like that and there seems to be some people

00:16:51.880 now who just say no you know this doesn't exist men and women aren't using their looks for different 1.00

00:16:57.620 things or men aren't using status to get female attention and all this kind of stuff right but

00:17:02.760 they are right i don't think they should actually yeah i think if a man has game then it doesn't 0.58

00:17:09.520 matter if he loses all his wealth and his you know accolades he will still get women i that's why i

00:17:16.040 teach guys i teach guys game i teach them how to be attractive to women no matter what the 0.79

00:17:20.560 circumstances are so you say the word game what does game actually mean okay game just to be you

00:17:27.660 know good with women the skills the skill set we had a famous guy he's not super famous he's in a

00:17:34.760 soap opera in england and he obviously because he's famous it's like goes out gets women super

00:17:40.820 easy and he's like he came to us i was like you don't need any help but yeah but i want to be 0.98

00:17:46.880 able to learn how to attract women when I'm in another country and no one has a fucking 0.99

00:17:52.500 clue who I am. And also he says, I know this is not going to last. And, you know, the ex-soap 0.96

00:17:58.960 opera, because we've had loads of like ex-soap opera.

00:18:02.340 Because for them, the crash is bad, right?

00:18:05.060 Oh, I can see that.

00:18:08.280 You see, women have something else. Women lose their looks, whereas guys, you know, 1.00

00:18:11.240 if they lose the thing that is usually a career or it's money or something like that,

00:18:16.880 that's when they fall to pieces.

00:18:19.040 So he came to us and he said he's going to go to South America for like a month

00:18:24.700 and he just wants to know how to pull women 0.96

00:18:26.440 because he won't be able to rely on his status at all.

00:18:29.560 So that's what we teach.

00:18:30.780 I don't think guys should rely.

00:18:32.660 I don't think women should rely. 1.00

00:18:34.420 Like I've started losing my looks recently.

00:18:36.420 I know I'm so beautiful.

00:18:38.280 But I've noticed, it's a little thing I've noticed.

00:18:40.240 I'm like, well, I've got to just work much harder on getting richer

00:18:44.640 instead of buying people.

00:18:46.880 And just, like, work on my personality.

00:18:48.720 It's just like, that's it.

00:18:49.620 I have to work on my game now.

00:18:51.040 My looks are fading.

00:18:52.460 And so with guys, I just think don't rely on the accolades and the success

00:18:57.300 because that can go tomorrow.

00:18:59.260 Rely on your game.

00:19:01.680 And do you think we've started, and it's become,

00:19:04.460 I've seen it grow more and more,

00:19:05.680 and especially because I used to be a teacher in schools,

00:19:07.740 there's a victim culture. 0.88

00:19:09.360 Have you seen the victim culture creep into men

00:19:11.660 and, you know, essentially blame everybody else apart from themselves?

00:19:16.200 Yeah.

00:19:16.880 yeah so it's the red have you heard of the red pill movement yes so i had coach red pill

00:19:21.360 uh he's very smart guy i had him on my my podcast and um he had me on his show

00:19:29.440 and basically the red pill movement of the guys and mid-tail which is men going their own way

00:19:35.280 movement they don't like women in general and they don't like me so when i went on his show 0.93

00:19:41.520 the hate i got was worse than the hate i got from the feminists are like she's a come bucket 1.00

00:19:45.440 You know, that's all she's good for. 1.00

00:19:47.700 She looks like a blow-up doll, all this kind of stuff. 0.98

00:19:51.000 She's fake. 1.00

00:19:53.440 Hope she gets AIDS soon. 1.00

00:19:55.080 Really, really, I mean, it doesn't bother me at all 0.98

00:19:56.640 because no one mentioned my weight.

00:19:57.800 That's good.

00:20:00.080 Not one person for fat.

00:20:01.640 So it's fine.

00:20:03.380 No, but really, it doesn't hurt because when you're,

00:20:06.100 because I've been in this movement,

00:20:08.100 I've been in this industry for so long,

00:20:09.400 you should see what some of the old forums used to say about us. 0.95

00:20:13.800 He used to do pictures of us and all sorts of shit. 0.92

00:20:16.460 So you're kind of numb to it. 0.98

00:20:17.660 You don't care anymore.

00:20:18.980 Anyway, sorry to digress.

00:20:21.040 He, I went on his show and he put a video up saying never take advice from a woman. 0.99

00:20:26.380 And then he did something quite controversial and put me on his show, asked me a question.

00:20:30.360 So I was like, you know what, come on my podcast, see what happens.

00:20:32.600 And he came on and I challenged him just as he challenged me.

00:20:35.900 And I said to him, you know, I've looked at the guys that you're teaching and you're right.

00:20:40.560 You know, there's there's a lot for them to be pissed off about with women. 0.98

00:20:43.800 and the Me Too movement, and you know, I get it, there's frustration there, but at some point

00:20:50.600 you've got to say, there's nothing I can do about this, there's nothing I can do, this is

00:20:54.840 an external issue here, I have to just work on myself, because what's happening is they're like, 1.00

00:20:59.320 fuck women, fuck women, they're like, you know, they're becoming, is it incels where they become 1.00

00:21:05.000 virgins? I'm like, that's dumb, that's dumb, because you're just going to be more and more 1.00

00:21:10.360 bitter it's true what red pillar movement is there's so much truth in it I'm not gonna lie 0.99

00:21:15.120 this is quite controversial me saying but there's so much truth in it like how the dating balance

00:21:21.100 is completely skewered in favor for women and how men are being encouraged to be more and more 0.99

00:21:27.020 beater by society this is shit this is terrible and they have a right to be fucking angry about 1.00

00:21:33.000 it but play the game play the game so when students come to me and like oh but women expect this and 1.00

00:21:38.400 that might play the game play the game work on work on your skills and you will cut through this

00:21:44.380 because women are fundamentally still attracted to the same things that they always have been

00:21:48.260 yeah yeah which is um a man who has a strong sense of character um a strong reality who's

00:21:55.560 unapologetic for who he is that doesn't mean in an arrogant way but it's not someone who's trying

00:21:59.900 to apologize for everything that they do someone who is comfortable with himself and who is

00:22:06.480 unapologetic about and almost honest about his own personal trajectory in life that's very

00:22:14.140 important and the choices that he's made. It's fascinating to me that you say that because

00:22:18.640 sometimes my wife and I we have like she wants me to do something and I'm like no I'm not doing

00:22:23.440 that and she's like no no I really want you to do that I'm like no I'm not doing that. Like what

00:22:26.580 take the dog out? I don't have a dog but it might be it's something that I'm entitled not to do if

00:22:34.040 I don't want to. It's not like an obligation that

00:22:36.020 I actually should. It's a sexual thing. No. 0.91

00:22:39.020 I did not expect

00:22:40.160 you to go. I was going to make that joke

00:22:42.100 and I held back. Thank you.

00:22:43.800 You should have done it, man.

00:22:45.540 But well done, Kezia. Thank you.

00:22:47.820 No, it's literally like

00:22:49.520 can you

00:22:51.400 go there and pick this thing up instead

00:22:54.080 of me because I forgot or something like that.

00:22:55.920 Okay. Whatever.

00:22:58.140 And if I

00:22:58.940 consistently refuse to do something

00:23:01.860 that I don't want to do for whatever

00:23:03.560 or it might be like

00:23:04.660 she's got some new vitamins

00:23:05.700 that she wants me to try

00:23:06.600 let's say that

00:23:07.140 she's like

00:23:07.700 oh you need to

00:23:08.280 you need to take these vitamins

00:23:09.340 and I'm like

00:23:10.140 no I don't want to

00:23:10.940 she's like

00:23:11.480 no you've got to

00:23:12.340 I'm like

00:23:12.640 no I'm not doing it

00:23:13.520 and she's like

00:23:14.100 no no you really have to

00:23:14.960 I'm like no

00:23:15.380 and after a while

00:23:16.420 she'll go away

00:23:17.320 and then two minutes later

00:23:18.000 she comes back

00:23:18.460 and she'll go

00:23:19.200 you know what

00:23:19.780 I really love the way

00:23:20.600 you really know

00:23:21.180 like what you stand for

00:23:22.240 yeah

00:23:22.800 that's cool

00:23:23.960 she's qualifying you by the way 0.99

00:23:25.140 which is cool

00:23:25.640 she's regaining the

00:23:26.720 she's using a little trick 0.98

00:23:29.180 actually that I teach guys to use

00:23:30.860 so how does she qualify me

00:23:31.840 is it the fact that

00:23:32.540 She comes back and acknowledges the fact that I've stood up for whatever.

00:23:35.880 But by doing that, she's taken the power back.

00:23:38.220 Yeah, she's qualified.

00:23:39.200 She's validated your behavior.

00:23:40.780 Right.

00:23:41.300 So I call this the diffusion technique.

00:23:44.080 It actually doesn't diffuse, but I wrote that in my book.

00:23:46.340 It's called the diffusion technique.

00:23:47.640 And it's sort of stuck there now.

00:23:48.800 It's actually called the negative attraction technique.

00:23:52.120 So a lot of guys will be like, I don't want to get into a really serious topic with a woman because we might end up arguing. 0.98

00:23:59.680 It starts becoming heated.

00:24:00.900 and then you know she's gonna lose interest i'm like no no keep that going it's good if it's

00:24:07.080 heated okay get her to invest some passion into the conversation even if it's negative and then

00:24:12.020 shift that into a positive energy by say get the book

00:24:16.600 just say to her look you know what let's let's stop me and you are never going to agree on this

00:24:24.380 right and she goes right so she's on the yes ladder now we could sit here and argue about this

00:24:29.520 all week and we still won't agree about it right she goes right you know what that's what i actually

00:24:35.620 really like about you you don't back down don't you think other people they just agree and just

00:24:40.620 sort of like bend their own reality in accordance with someone else's just nod their head and

00:24:44.940 you like me you just you'll stick to your guns i love it so what you're trying to say there is we

00:24:51.440 are both passionate people and everyone else is like not passionate so that's a way of flipping

00:24:58.000 it around and creating attraction now you're my wife's got game she does no she does but 1.00

00:25:05.320 she wasn't doing it to create attraction unless you like had angry sex after maybe it's too much 1.00

00:25:10.000 information but what she was doing is she was like thinking i can't um win this battle so i'm

00:25:19.320 going to kind of like win the war and show that i am i'm she's just using a tactic to say i like

00:25:26.060 that about you you know pat you on the head i'm like but but i think it also comes back to your

00:25:30.460 point which is that women do like a man who stands up for what he believes who has a strong

00:25:35.060 sense of reality and again to guys out there never bend your own reality in accordance with

00:25:41.300 the girls ever she's very aware of it she'll say something the guy will be you know shifting his 0.94

00:25:47.460 opinion she's very aware of it it's like oh god he's turning into the head nodder the one that

00:25:52.140 agrees with everything she says but it's a great point that you make because you can tell when

00:25:58.440 somebody's being fake you just can and it just becomes less interesting if someone just goes

00:26:03.600 look this is what i think these are the reasons why i think if you don't like it that's fine but

00:26:07.480 this is where i am automatically you have an emotional reaction to it it means that you're

00:26:11.880 more comfortable with who you are and um it's showing that that's what it's conveying is that

00:26:16.740 you're comfortable with who you are and your opinions and you've thought them out that's just

00:26:20.760 little things like that just make someone more attractive absolutely let's talk about something

00:26:25.220 else let's talk about the difference between boys and girls because i know you've got a little boy

00:26:28.980 and um i used to be a teacher so right away from four to 18 and people go there's no difference

00:26:34.400 between the genders huge difference it's a lot of crap huge so let's get into it so when i had 0.78

00:26:39.120 my son i was like totally like those people thinking oh i i know i think that if you just 0.59

00:26:43.580 keep giving toy cars to boys and action man to boys you know they're gonna end up being more

00:26:49.920 aggressive. And if you keep giving dolls to little girls, you know, they're going to be

00:26:54.920 more maternal. Now, I just let my son have whatever he wanted. Like, you want a doll,

00:27:00.440 have a doll. Just point to it, you have it. You know, when I go out with him, I'm like

00:27:04.020 Richard Gere, you know, whatever you want. And at first, when they're really young, he

00:27:11.140 really will play with any old shit. It is gender neutral, all the toys. But then you 0.99

00:27:15.400 start getting to a point where two years old i noticed that's the shift the boys start wanting

00:27:21.580 to play with other boys before that they don't care the girls want to play with other girls 0.97

00:27:26.360 at nursery the boys are playing i don't this is going to offend so many women fantastic boys do

00:27:33.760 want to build things and destroy they want to make they they like the lego and the bricks more than

00:27:39.180 the girls there are the exception to the rules there are the little girls who love building i

00:27:43.940 know god bless them and there's a little boys who really hate all that and love brushing you know

00:27:49.800 the doll's hair again it's exception to the rule the boys were immediately with the cars and even

00:27:56.540 the the nursery workers were like we have to hide the cars from the boys because they just zoom into

00:28:03.020 the cars god knows why i still can't work out what the thing is about the wheels going around or

00:28:07.820 something what it is but we were girls just didn't want to play the cars and the boys wanted to build

00:28:13.380 things and then they wanted to smash it all up where are they learning this it wasn't from me

00:28:17.700 but it wasn't and when i speak to that and i had a conversation with parents because i found this

00:28:21.820 so fascinating so i spoke to the other mums of the boys i'm like where did they learn this like

00:28:26.840 we're not smashing stuff up we're like you we brought them up not gender neutral but with kind

00:28:31.440 of like no aim to make them like tough boys at all and um they end up like that so now he's at

00:28:38.700 school and when you when the like school gates open the boys just go in there and they're making

00:28:44.380 this kind of very primal noise when they're going in there i'm not going to do it it's really

00:28:48.680 unattractive noise but it's like destroy that that's the noise all of them in like they're

00:28:55.340 just going in there and they just want to destroy the whole school and the girls are just standing 1.00

00:28:59.740 they're like why is this madness i'm a west ham fan i get to see it every week that primal

00:29:05.860 But it's actually, you know, you mentioned...

00:29:10.240 There's no getting away from this point.

00:29:11.260 This is not me.

00:29:11.900 I wish I could come and tell you something else.

00:29:14.120 This is my experience.

00:29:15.180 I have never tried to make my boy like, oh, you know, come on, champ.

00:29:18.420 I don't use things like that.

00:29:19.480 I just bring him up like whatever, you know.

00:29:21.800 Just be a nice person and do what you want.

00:29:24.640 Well, exactly.

00:29:25.440 And it's funny that you mentioned that you noticed that at a particular time

00:29:28.600 because actually the research, there's a guy called,

00:29:30.880 he's actually Sacha Baron Cohen's cousin or brother or something,

00:29:34.460 their relatives who does research on this and they do research with day-old infants so they're

00:29:40.800 literally the moment they're born wow they offer them uh a toy that's either like an object like

00:29:47.520 a truck or something or like a piece of wood or whatever or like an anthropomorphic like a human

00:29:52.580 shaped doll or something and even at that age at one day old the the girls reach for the the human 0.99

00:29:58.680 shaped object more it's the same with monkeys you do the same it's extensive research yeah because

00:30:03.340 I think you've got to do a lot of...

00:30:05.680 Yeah, well, it's the same with monkeys as well.

00:30:08.160 They do the same experiment with monkeys.

00:30:09.760 Female monkeys are more likely to reach for the kind of monkey-shaped thing. 1.00

00:30:14.560 I had no idea.

00:30:15.140 Male monkeys are more likely to reach for the stick or whatever it might be.

00:30:18.900 Well, it's evolution.

00:30:19.860 It's evolution.

00:30:20.520 Men evolved to manipulate objects, to hunt, to do all this. 0.81

00:30:23.960 And it's the patriarchy.

00:30:25.240 It's ingrained in all of us.

00:30:26.400 Yeah, I mean, when they're in the womb, 0.99

00:30:27.820 they're getting indoctrinated with all this patriarchal bullshit. 1.00

00:30:30.760 Yeah, the toxicness. 1.00

00:30:31.620 I knew I was having a boy.

00:30:33.220 Maybe he sensed it.

00:30:34.560 Yeah.

00:30:35.380 He was getting ready like that.

00:30:36.820 She knows I'm coming.

00:30:38.960 I better live up to that boy kind of image.

00:30:41.960 But it's also, do you think nowadays as men,

00:30:44.620 like we have to sort of deny our masculinity a little bit?

00:30:47.960 Yeah, you shouldn't,

00:30:48.860 but that's what society is trying to do to you guys.

00:30:52.240 And could you go into that a little bit more?

00:30:54.660 I get why they're doing it,

00:30:56.000 because they want to empower women by putting men down.

00:30:58.660 And I don't think that should happen.

00:31:01.260 I don't think you need to do that in order to empower women. 0.99

00:31:05.740 I feel very empowered.

00:31:07.100 I've always felt very empowered.

00:31:08.680 I've never looked at men as my superiors or inferiors.

00:31:13.900 I've looked at them as my equals.

00:31:18.680 I don't get where these...

00:31:20.400 I mean, okay, there's women that have had terrible experiences with men,

00:31:23.180 but I have too, actually.

00:31:24.620 I had a relationship that was violent.

00:31:26.780 The guy was violent to me, so I've had my fair share,

00:31:28.720 but it doesn't mean I go and say every single man's violent.

00:31:31.260 that was a bad relationship but I've always seen men as my equals and I think

00:31:36.360 that's that's a good thing to think and I don't know why we have to make men into

00:31:39.360 our subordinates with what society is trying to do it's like if that's the way

00:31:44.220 to raise women to empower women by denigrating men yes I've noticed it in 1.00

00:31:50.280 adverts a lot why are the men always looking so stupid and adverts incompetent 1.00

00:31:55.320 okay men are a little bit more incompetent with small children than 1.00

00:31:58.620 women i've noticed that not all so i'm not saying they're bad fathers but there's just little

00:32:02.460 details that i found men sort of terrible at breastfeeding yeah no but it's just i don't know

00:32:10.360 i don't think uh i think women maybe are on the whole a little bit more um oh what's the word 0.98

00:32:17.760 uh forgotten paying more attention to detail when it comes to yeah yeah very small children

00:32:23.700 But it's also because I think part of this is, so for instance, early years teachers are always women, are always women.

00:32:31.660 I remember there was this drive to try and get men. 0.57

00:32:33.640 Oh, but it's less so, by the way.

00:32:35.160 My son, he had a male one.

00:32:36.860 He was the best one that he had.

00:32:39.060 You see?

00:32:39.660 It's changing, which is good.

00:32:40.860 No, but I think that's good.

00:32:41.880 I think men, you know, becoming nurses and looking after children is a good thing.

00:32:45.640 I don't think that that's the part that's belittling men.

00:32:48.580 I think it's when women are treating men badly and laughing at men and humiliating men on adverts and on TV, that becomes an issue. 0.96

00:32:59.820 And this is where we come back to what you were saying earlier.

00:33:02.020 Does that make sense?

00:33:02.440 It makes perfect sense.

00:33:03.900 It's not me going mad.

00:33:04.820 You've seen this.

00:33:05.740 No, absolutely.

00:33:06.580 So when they make fun about men looking after babies. 1.00

00:33:09.120 So there was an advert recently where the men left their children in the buggy because it was for Philadelphia cheese or something.

00:33:16.280 And it was this whole big uproar.

00:33:17.340 And I was like, that's not a bad thing, actually.

00:33:19.460 It's like we all know that men are not so good with small babies as the mums are. 1.00

00:33:25.240 They pay less attention to detail. 0.97

00:33:26.880 So I was like, that's not the issue because men, it's more like when the woman is kind of like making the man look stupid in every day-to-day life that I think is the issue rather than things that have always been there. 0.98

00:33:43.160 Does that make sense? 0.96

00:33:43.740 Absolutely.

00:33:44.300 It makes absolute perfect sense.

00:33:45.940 And what I was going to say is it takes us back to what you were saying a little bit earlier, which is that there is a group of men now who have become resentful, bitter, resigned, who've disconnected from society, who've disconnected from dating.

00:33:59.880 and as you say

00:34:01.580 I mean

00:34:02.520 you could argue

00:34:03.840 they have some

00:34:04.380 legitimate concerns

00:34:05.180 but my feeling on it is

00:34:06.380 they need more game

00:34:07.700 I've always thought this

00:34:09.020 about any part of your life

00:34:10.940 wherever

00:34:11.320 you're not happy

00:34:12.480 about something

00:34:13.200 your career isn't going

00:34:14.500 as well as you want it to be

00:34:16.220 you're not getting

00:34:16.940 you know as comedians

00:34:18.120 you're not getting

00:34:18.640 to play the clubs

00:34:19.680 that you want to play

00:34:20.420 you're not getting

00:34:21.140 to where you want to get to

00:34:22.020 you've got to get better

00:34:23.200 you know

00:34:24.040 every part of life

00:34:25.640 it's on your shoulders

00:34:27.120 get better

00:34:27.740 get better

00:34:28.300 right

00:34:28.640 but with this it's now starting to say you know it's like just give up yes but do you okay what's

00:34:35.820 your thoughts of this i i i don't like the internet dating i don't like i know people have found

00:34:41.840 happiness from it i don't do it um and i i think it's okay as an option but it shouldn't be the

00:34:49.920 only solution to finding someone if a guy doesn't look good how's he going to meet anyone from

00:34:56.840 online dating if he can't have a good picture of himself what if he's like disfigured like he's 0.98

00:35:02.420 been in a terrible accident and he's disfigured who is going to click on his photograph go yeah

00:35:08.180 I'll meet you it's just not gonna okay you you might get some people but it's gonna be very very

00:35:13.100 rare okay it's it's this is just it's sad it's but I'm being honest it's not like a fetish out

00:35:18.840 there for disfigured people so when it's like a fat person I should say overweight person or 0.96

00:35:23.460 or whatever's politically correct.

00:35:25.760 We are called trigonometry, so say what it was. 0.98

00:35:28.460 Fat people who can't stop eating, like those ones.

00:35:32.760 The Katie Hopkins came out there. 1.00

00:35:35.120 Yes.

00:35:36.740 But, you know, some guys are like,

00:35:39.060 I like a big woman, and some are like, I like a big guy.

00:35:41.540 But someone is disfigured or looks really bad, 0.93

00:35:44.660 okay, physically just bad.

00:35:46.060 They haven't been blessed with looks.

00:35:47.160 They're just going to be swiped.

00:35:49.160 They're just going to be swiped.

00:35:50.040 And yet that guy could have amazing game, amazing chat.

00:35:55.560 He could be so funny.

00:35:57.760 And because his only way to meet women has now become through dating apps

00:36:03.040 because of hashtag me too,

00:36:05.520 which has tried its best to frighten men into not approaching women. 1.00

00:36:10.500 If that's his only way of meeting women, he's fucked. 1.00

00:36:14.740 He is fucked. 1.00

00:36:16.280 because what you really teach from talking about you is the art of connection 1.00

00:36:21.060 i'll give you an example of disfigured we had a guy sorry for interrupting no it's fine we had a

00:36:26.460 guy who was in a wheelchair okay he came to us in this wheelchair and uh it was through um it wasn't

00:36:31.620 an accident it's but he he used to be able to walk it was a medical condition and he had this

00:36:36.740 wheelchair but it was like built in a certain way where he was like raised quite high and he's like

00:36:41.280 I want people to see beyond the wheelchair um I'm like no one's gonna see beyond the wheelchair 1.00

00:36:46.600 it's there okay it's not like you know my like you've got like a pimple or something you've got

00:36:52.280 this huge wheelchair um he's like yeah yeah but you know I want to get my personality through

00:36:58.380 I'm like okay the wheelchair is your prop you talk about it you you talk about the elephant

00:37:04.100 in the room here okay you make it work it's part of your act just like you guys do part of the

00:37:10.020 the routine and so one of our guys he's very good at one-liners he turned around and said look you've

00:37:16.140 just got to go up to him and say i suppose you're wondering why i'm in this wheelchair and then the

00:37:20.040 woman's like relieved thinking yes i would like to know but she didn't want to ask obviously it's 0.99

00:37:23.900 because i've got this enormous penis i need a special machine to take me around now god feminists 1.00

00:37:30.920 and hashtag me too you know um people would be like oh my god you can't say something like this 0.99

00:37:37.040 okay okay the girl knows every girl that he used that line with burst out laughing

00:37:42.180 she could see he was a funny guy so you know you're looking at this is a funny person not

00:37:47.280 someone in a wheelchair so when all these people go and you shouldn't say things like that you 0.99

00:37:51.020 shouldn't talk about your penis like this what should he have done what should he have done 0.99

00:37:55.480 what's a better solution oh well he should have just been himself people can't see me on the 0.99

00:38:01.080 wheelchair unless he shows that he's got this that's his funny side that's his humor do you

00:38:05.360 see what i mean no absolutely so there's this great area everything for them is very black and 0.89

00:38:09.560 white yeah you know you mentioned the word penis is harassment it was it was that really harassment 0.67

00:38:14.000 that example i just gave you it wasn't it was just like it was it was a joke so that's what i mean 0.94

00:38:20.640 like if this guy had just used dating apps which he was going down that that route and he's like

00:38:25.160 oh just you know i'll just use my face and take away the wheelchair i'm like she's gonna see you 0.67

00:38:29.440 and it's gonna be awkward it's like okay i'll take the photograph of my wheelchair then i was like

00:38:33.180 okay you're going to get less people wanting to see i'm sorry i it's a harsh world out there

00:38:37.460 that's the reality but do you see what i mean so he now knows how to talk to women

00:38:41.700 because of us but what's happening is they're trying to i don't think they're not purposely

00:38:48.900 trying to force it but what's happening is loads of people are just saying you know what

00:38:53.480 let's just use dating apps it's easier no one can do me for harassment of dating apps but then

00:38:58.740 it's a massive letdown because you go meet this person and nothing like their pictures this is

00:39:04.600 why i don't use dating apps by the way because there's been so many times i've been in a bar

00:39:08.120 and a guy's walked in not my type not my physical type and it's just the way he moves something he

00:39:13.620 says some behavioral trigger i don't know what it was it just made me go hmm that's interesting i

00:39:19.260 would never get that from a one-dimensional photograph no absolutely and we're talking

00:39:24.020 about jokes now

00:39:24.880 and negging is a big thing

00:39:26.100 and I see a lot of guys

00:39:27.220 doing negging

00:39:28.420 where do you stand on it

00:39:29.540 do you agree with it

00:39:30.640 because sometimes

00:39:31.600 I see a bloke doing it

00:39:33.120 and I'm like

00:39:33.520 mate you just sound 1.00

00:39:34.420 like a fucking prick 1.00

00:39:35.160 yeah you've got to do it 1.00

00:39:35.920 properly

00:39:36.240 so if you're being

00:39:37.040 you know if you say

00:39:38.080 to a woman something

00:39:39.180 like

00:39:39.680 I'm trying to think of like

00:39:41.960 I don't really teach negging

00:39:43.120 I use double sided compliments

00:39:44.380 rather than negging

00:39:45.540 because negging can come across 0.98

00:39:47.000 like an insult

00:39:47.740 that for most women 1.00

00:39:49.560 are just like 1.00

00:39:49.960 exactly you're being a jerk 1.00

00:39:51.320 so I use double sided compliments 1.00

00:39:52.820 like I'll say

00:39:53.600 to a guy say to a woman look you know you look great use a very vague compliment and then add on

00:40:01.720 a detailed suggestion of how she can look even better so you know you look great this is actually

00:40:07.860 not a joke so sort of it's not comical but it's kind of like it's a spin-off from negging you say

00:40:14.560 you look great but you know what if you're wearing and I'm sorry I love stripper high heels 1.00

00:40:20.060 like those really tacky plastic wads,

00:40:22.520 I'd be making a move on you now. 1.00

00:40:24.820 And something like that actually says to the girl,

00:40:28.020 you are sexually escalating with her, but you're not.

00:40:31.320 You're saying, you look nice, you look hot.

00:40:32.960 So you're sort of cushioning the blow.

00:40:35.240 I want to be there when you say that to Ellie.

00:40:37.340 Oh, mate, she's eviscerating me. 0.96

00:40:39.620 If you do it properly, it works.

00:40:41.960 I mean, look, I mentioned the plastic heels

00:40:44.100 because, you know, some guys have this fetish.

00:40:46.000 They do like it.

00:40:47.120 Most guys don't, I found, but some guys are like,

00:40:49.520 I really like girls

00:40:50.480 wearing those tacky heels

00:40:51.600 I shouldn't say it

00:40:52.900 because it'll make me

00:40:54.060 look like

00:40:54.740 it is a fetish

00:40:55.960 and I've got

00:40:56.980 really bad taste

00:40:57.640 I'm like

00:40:57.820 no no no

00:40:58.240 own it

00:40:58.860 do you remember

00:41:00.040 that Chris Rock

00:41:00.940 sketch

00:41:01.720 no no

00:41:03.240 he had another one

00:41:03.860 which is

00:41:04.320 when guys 1.00

00:41:04.880 want to do anal 0.99

00:41:05.660 no 0.99

00:41:06.440 it's like

00:41:07.160 the nice guy

00:41:08.160 is like

00:41:08.380 oh please

00:41:09.040 please can I do it

00:41:10.600 please

00:41:10.960 just a little bit

00:41:11.820 or something like that 0.99

00:41:12.700 it's like anal 0.99

00:41:13.240 or something like that 0.99

00:41:13.920 and he said

00:41:14.360 the other guy

00:41:14.860 is just like

00:41:15.460 totally unapologetic

00:41:16.980 for what he wants

00:41:18.060 what turns him on

00:41:19.420 I don't think it was anything.

00:41:20.460 I think it was something a little bit more personal than that even.

00:41:23.640 But he was just totally, he's like, be unapologetic about it.

00:41:26.360 That's your thing.

00:41:27.220 That's what you want.

00:41:28.400 And the guy's kind of like unsure and uncertain about showing what his desire is, you know, what his fetish is.

00:41:35.480 That's going to then look creepy.

00:41:37.540 There's no such real thing as creepy.

00:41:39.620 It's basically, if you come across uncertain, ashamed or embarrassed by what turns you on, that will come across as creepy.

00:41:49.420 The guy that's like, this is what I'm into, take it or leave it.

00:41:52.880 The girl might say, he's too bold, that's a bit too confident,

00:41:58.020 but she won't say creepy.

00:42:00.460 That's the guy's biggest fear is being a creep.

00:42:02.400 It's the biggest fear.

00:42:03.260 All our students, it's bigger than rejection.

00:42:05.580 It's like, okay, I can handle a rejection,

00:42:07.220 but not if she's rejecting me because I'm creepy.

00:42:10.240 Do you think that's got worse in the age of social media

00:42:12.380 where someone could go, oh, this creepy guy, whatever else?

00:42:15.700 No, I haven't seen that.

00:42:17.500 I haven't seen any evidence of that.

00:42:19.420 oh that's interesting because i would have thought that we were the age of you know

00:42:22.420 reputation online reputation that they'd be more worried about it i have honestly i have i've been

00:42:28.600 very honest throughout this whole interview so i would tell you if i've noticed no i think this

00:42:34.240 might be a personal fear yeah yeah it's just me just your fear but but you're right i think that

00:42:40.860 is and but it's interesting like i'm just processing some of the examples that you're

00:42:45.040 giving and I'm and admittedly I don't go out and try and meet women but I just it sounds very

00:42:52.500 kind of non-2019 if you know what I mean and I wonder what what you make of this like I mean

00:43:03.440 for example actually the question I was going to ask you is about these people who are in sales or

00:43:08.020 who are part of this men go in their own way thing you presumably your advice to them would

00:43:12.960 be to up their game, right?

00:43:15.020 And to get better and to go out there

00:43:16.760 and learn how to meet people of the opposite sex.

00:43:19.240 They don't even, yeah, it hasn't,

00:43:21.980 the level of game that we were teaching in 2006

00:43:24.840 hasn't evolved because it's essentially still,

00:43:28.940 it's the same principles.

00:43:30.780 That's interesting.

00:43:31.580 So it's the same principles.

00:43:32.820 Nothing has really changed because deep down women want... 1.00

00:43:36.200 The only thing you've got is you've got less competition now, guys,

00:43:38.460 because all the other guys are on, scrolling through apps.

00:43:42.960 Our students are cleaning up right now.

00:43:46.120 They are cleaning up.

00:43:47.260 Time to end a relationship.

00:43:49.900 Sign up.

00:43:50.940 I've got no game.

00:43:52.160 I'm terrible with men.

00:43:53.180 That's why I don't teach women to pull men. 1.00

00:43:57.000 You don't teach women to pull? 1.00

00:43:57.960 It's fucking easy for a woman to pull at men. 1.00

00:43:59.500 If you're a good looking woman, you don't need games. 1.00

00:44:01.320 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:44:02.260 You don't need games.

00:44:02.900 No, you just walk in.

00:44:04.600 Everyone's like, yeah, that'll do great.

00:44:06.280 No.

00:44:07.100 What?

00:44:07.380 Really?

00:44:07.980 Okay, so I take students into strip clubs. 0.99

00:44:12.960 to prove this to them. I love strip clubs. And I take them to this particular one and I said,

00:44:19.920 which woman do you think is doing really well here? And they always pick to like the five foot 1.00

00:44:24.640 10 blonde, you know, the most striking, beautiful woman in the room. I'm like, look at her because 1.00

00:44:29.200 they put their money in this heavenly money and they put their money in a garter. I'm like, look,

00:44:33.440 look, by the end of the night, who's got more money in that one or that one. And I'll point

00:44:37.600 to a girl who's plain, really like plain Jane, and they're like, all right, fine, you're on.

00:44:44.240 I said, and watch them work the room. Now guys in a good strip clubs, they're there to see tits 1.00

00:44:49.920 and you know, that's it. It's just, it's purely aesthetics. That's why they're in there. Okay, 0.87

00:44:55.760 it's visual. And yet the plain girl will make most of the money. You know why? Because she 1.00

00:45:01.120 has game. The other one's relying on her looks. So she will get the initial dancers. Guys will go 1.00

00:45:05.840 so I want that one you know and she'll do her dances and she's got no chat boring as shit 1.00

00:45:11.500 and then this this other girl has had to rely on her game and her banter and her wit 0.97

00:45:17.100 and that sheer ambition that desire okay and that she's coming from a very positive place the other

00:45:25.300 one very positive like I'm gonna I'm gonna kill it tonight I am gonna clean up tonight

00:45:30.440 And all this combined makes her almost like a machine, this girl.

00:45:34.340 And the guy's like had his three dancers when she approached him.

00:45:37.080 He's like, what do you want?

00:45:38.500 She's not even that hard.

00:45:39.740 Like, what do you want?

00:45:40.340 You can see that's the initial, that's her initial, the reaction that she experiences.

00:45:46.100 And she just plows, plows. 1.00

00:45:48.440 And suddenly it's like the guy's just spending all his money.

00:45:51.940 And I'm like, watch, this is guys who are only interested supposedly in look.

00:45:56.480 And that girl is running rings around the good looking girl. 1.00

00:45:59.140 that's the power of game

00:46:00.580 if a woman 0.96

00:46:01.880 if a woman can do it 1.00

00:46:03.160 imagine what a man can do

00:46:04.160 because women are less visual 1.00

00:46:05.440 apart from me

00:46:06.460 I really do 0.76

00:46:08.280 I'm a sucker for looks

00:46:09.480 but even me

00:46:10.440 I've got my limit

00:46:11.200 where I'm like

00:46:11.620 okay he's just

00:46:12.500 boring

00:46:13.500 I can't fancy this guy

00:46:14.840 even if he's really hot

00:46:15.880 so I take them 0.62

00:46:17.820 to the strip club

00:46:18.440 and only when they

00:46:19.580 see this happening

00:46:20.420 do they get it

00:46:22.280 they're like

00:46:22.720 yeah

00:46:22.960 it's all game

00:46:23.960 well the appeal

00:46:25.820 of your courses

00:46:26.300 goes up and up and up

00:46:27.320 as we get more details

00:46:28.300 this has been a one-hour infomercial with me i've been sneaking in there mentioning that it has been

00:46:36.600 one hour because our last question and thank you for the interview we really enjoyed it our last

00:46:41.000 question is always the same which is what is the one thing that no one is talking about that we

00:46:45.320 should be talking i've got two i you you choose okay it's either scrolling through phones okay

00:46:53.160 people really need to talk about how smartphones are the source of all evil okay this needs to

00:46:58.340 be addressed not internet smartphones or we can talk about cats and dogs you pick let's go

00:47:03.760 smartphones yeah let's do smartphones all right you put the hard one I was going to please pick

00:47:06.860 cats and dogs okay so um you see this whole thing about anxiety and depression that's coming out I'm

00:47:15.360 really kind of I don't know about this I'm I'm in two two minds about this one because I think 0.97

00:47:23.100 a lot of anxiety and stuff is coming from those fucking phones and I'm just like put away your 0.97

00:47:28.140 phone look up smell the roses enjoy life you know and you'll be less anxious and you'll be less 0.99

00:47:34.840 depressed and you'll be human again and you won't be like some walking zombie um I just don't think

00:47:41.000 it's being talked about enough I think everyone's got everyone's just kind of so lost in this phone

00:47:45.780 just walking around like this and I see people with their dogs this is really sad people with

00:47:50.400 their kids it's even worse but people they're walking their dogs and the dog's sitting there

00:47:54.040 and they're looking at their phone the dog's got the ball in his mouth waiting for you to throw

00:47:58.340 the ball and you're just on your phone and I see that because I have a dog so I walk my dog a lot

00:48:02.860 of time and and I never look at that phone I really don't unless it's like I've got to do

00:48:07.600 something and I just see people not talking to each other people in restaurants on their phone

00:48:12.920 people ignoring their dogs ignoring their children just looking at their phone and I just think this

00:48:17.580 this is this is the breakdown this is it it's not the internet it's not social media it's having

00:48:23.640 acts i have social media but i have no social media on my phone apart from instagram which

00:48:27.060 someone else looks after um i have no social media apps on that phone i can live without i can go

00:48:32.140 home log on when i have to update or check something remember the old days you have to log

00:48:36.420 on on your computer and it was like it was it was finite you know it was like all right hour later

00:48:43.120 I've got to go into another room now or something, right?

00:48:45.960 When it's that, you know, infinite kind of information,

00:48:50.100 entertainment, that access to it.

00:48:53.520 I think that's destroying society.

00:48:56.600 You did manage to get the dogs in the answer.

00:48:59.880 I feel really strongly about this, and I did a whole episode on it.

00:49:02.900 It's just this, look at it.

00:49:04.720 Look at when you go out.

00:49:05.640 Look at the restaurants.

00:49:07.000 Look at teenagers not talking to each other.

00:49:08.920 I used to love meeting my friends when I was like 12.

00:49:11.260 that's like the happiest point of our lives you know 10 12 I'm seeing my friend you know I can

00:49:15.640 talk I can play with them and it's when the parents can kind of say you know what you're

00:49:18.760 old enough now where I don't need to entertain you you can entertain each other first thing they

00:49:22.460 do is give them phones and they're sitting there in silence I see it all the time and if I do

00:49:27.980 something on my phone I actually say to my son I'm going to be on it for two minutes I'm going to

00:49:32.080 ignore you for two minutes I've got to finish this text or something and he knows I don't just sit

00:49:37.440 they're in this kind of like vortex of scrolling see it all the time and i think it's causing

00:49:43.600 anxiety depression it's breaking down our social communication the way we feel just

00:49:48.800 everything every little bit's been poisoned with these smartphones i totally agree it's a really

00:49:54.840 good point uh let me ask you a bonus question actually uh because is that a bit crappy

00:50:00.000 sorry no agree with me on this apart from you no no i agree with you we all agree with you

00:50:06.580 we've had loads of guests

00:50:07.520 talking about it

00:50:08.320 so we

00:50:08.740 oh sorry

00:50:09.800 no no no

00:50:10.380 I don't mean it in that way

00:50:12.540 we've had several people

00:50:13.940 mention that it's important

00:50:15.060 and we couldn't agree more

00:50:16.660 absolutely

00:50:17.060 listen guys

00:50:17.840 I've done something about it

00:50:19.080 I don't use the phone

00:50:20.280 so you can do it too

00:50:21.280 you can do it

00:50:22.440 don't use the phone

00:50:23.740 just

00:50:24.060 only in emergencies

00:50:25.460 there

00:50:26.120 the question I was going to ask you

00:50:27.700 I was

00:50:28.200 at the Edinburgh Festival

00:50:29.480 for the whole month this year

00:50:30.620 and

00:50:31.160 another comedian

00:50:32.600 had a dog there

00:50:33.660 since you brought up

00:50:34.760 the subject of dogs

00:50:35.620 that she needed to walk while she was doing her show.

00:50:38.100 And a couple of times I took the dog. 0.99

00:50:39.700 I did not realize how much of a pussy magnet a dog is. 0.99

00:50:42.840 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:50:43.340 It's more effective than Aston Martin.

00:50:44.840 We did the test.

00:50:45.900 So my friend has an Aston Martin.

00:50:47.700 And he was, like, going around.

00:50:48.840 I was in the car.

00:50:49.420 And I was like, all the girls are looking at him.

00:50:51.640 Like, who's that?

00:50:52.840 And then I was like, watch this little guy coming along down the street.

00:50:56.100 He's got a French bulldog.

00:50:59.740 I was like, watch all the eyes go on him.

00:51:01.520 And just, like, away from you.

00:51:04.240 And he's like, no, Aston Martin will do his job.

00:51:06.420 It's James Bond's car.

00:51:07.320 It's fine.

00:51:08.200 And he just didn't exist anymore.

00:51:09.960 It was that dog.

00:51:11.520 Sometimes my friends borrow my dog.

00:51:13.420 Can I just borrow your dog?

00:51:14.180 When I go to a bar or a pub or something,

00:51:16.520 they have the dog on their lap.

00:51:19.820 Just like all these girls around talking about the dog. 1.00

00:51:22.800 And I just think guys need to capitalize on that.

00:51:24.760 I teach guys to get a dog,

00:51:26.720 approach women when you're walking your dog 0.99

00:51:28.040 and they're walking their dog.

00:51:29.180 It's a great way to meet women.

00:51:31.560 There you go.

00:51:32.120 There you go.

00:51:32.440 If you're an incel, get a dog. 0.97

00:51:33.760 Yeah.

00:51:33.940 on that happy note we will see you in a week from now and goodbye thank you see you later guys

TRIGGERnometry - March 26, 2020

Dating Advice for Men From a Woman

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