TRIGGERnometry - Doug Stanhope on Drugs, Drink & Comedy

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00:00:30.000 Everyone in the States is angry at everyone and there's sides but when you

00:00:34.720 go out in the world you don't meet those people. I have to realize that my

00:00:40.980 audience isn't on fucking Twitter all day. The actual asses and seats, the warm 1.00

00:00:46.800 bodies have fucking lives. It's the best feeling when you have a bit that you know 1.00

00:00:54.480 the audience is gonna laugh at and then think oh that was wrong but it's too late because you laughed

00:01:01.920 because i'm right and so like i i write as a defense attorney okay i'm gonna take something

00:01:10.320 that would go against the grain of the audience find a loophole that makes perfect sense

00:01:17.360 like a defense attorney yeah and then you can't handle the truth i accidentally ate a bunch of

00:01:25.120 gummies when i was cleaning out the bar before football sunday and i thought no this is a must

00:01:31.440 be a special bag of gummies because you ate a bag of weed guys i ate four 10 milligrams what kind

00:01:39.600 of state were you in well i it was weird because it was during when i was trying to do sober october

00:01:45.760 And that's why I was out cleaning on a Saturday night because I was sober and I didn't know what to do with myself.

00:01:51.680 I hate myself. I'm watching my podcast in my head.

00:01:56.760 I'm watching what you're watching. And I'm like, just shut the fuck up, dude. 1.00

00:02:11.560 Hello and welcome to Trigonometry. I'm Francis Foster. 0.99

00:02:15.240 I'm Constantine Kissinger.

00:02:16.720 And this is a show for you if you want honest conversations with fascinating people.

00:02:21.760 Our brilliant guest today is a comedy great, Doug Stanhope himself.

00:02:25.920 As you can probably tell, we are in the world's smallest hotel conference room.

00:02:30.320 Doug Stanhope is about to join us in a second when we give him the green light.

00:02:34.280 This episode is not for the claustrophobic.

00:02:37.260 Doug Stanhope, welcome to Trigonometry. 0.96

00:02:39.120 Hi, sorry that we're in this fucking access room of the executive lounge. 0.98

00:02:44.120 No, you're the superstar. 0.98

00:02:46.100 How did you score this?

00:02:46.120 He came to you, Doug.

00:02:46.900 How did you score this?

00:02:48.900 How did you score the room at the last minute when you realized?

00:02:51.700 We paid for it in advance. 0.99

00:02:53.720 We knew the fuck up was going to happen, 0.83

00:02:55.440 that your hotel room wasn't going to be big enough. 0.97

00:02:57.180 So we got a backup.

00:02:59.260 But Doug, you're one of our favorite comics.

00:03:01.520 It's great to have you on the show.

00:03:03.400 Tell everybody how you got into comedy.

00:03:05.820 Like, what was it that drew it to it?

00:03:09.320 Nobody really cares.

00:03:11.800 Absolutely nobody cares.

00:03:13.280 We can, we can, we can.

00:03:14.800 And no one has a good story about how I thought I was funny

00:03:19.680 and I couldn't do karaoke and I couldn't do other things. 0.90

00:03:26.000 No fucked up childhood, none of that? 0.62

00:03:28.360 Most comics have one of them. 0.98

00:03:30.060 No, not really.

00:03:30.980 My pretty tame childhood.

00:03:33.780 I mean, I was the problem in my childhood.

00:03:37.080 Other people had a bad time because of me.

00:03:39.420 i was a problem child but not because of any kind of outside influence i can't blame the parents

00:03:46.340 just didn't yeah because you've got like a unique style of comedy they you've forged your own path

00:03:53.920 in many ways like how did you get about doing that how did you start to create what we know

00:03:59.720 is like doug stanhope style comedy i have no idea it's been 32 years so

00:04:04.740 yeah i i didn't start doing this i wasn't some prodigy where i had opinions or 0.89

00:04:11.980 something before my time i was 23 and did masturbation jokes and whatever titty bars 0.89

00:04:20.260 and pornography and we were talking about this uh me and hennigan uh i'm very high by the way 0.95

00:04:26.760 and i've been doing this for the entire tour so the show you saw last night that's where it kind

00:04:32.140 went all right maybe too high last night like i could not read the room people were yelling at me

00:04:41.140 to make jokes about the queen well yesterday for people who are watching this back it was the day

00:04:47.000 the queen of the queens it's the day of her funeral pyre yeah the funeral pyre that's not how we do

00:04:53.200 things in england oh really advanced how progressive of you we just not just burn the

00:04:59.680 body at the end of the tour. 0.99

00:05:00.920 Why don't you just suck the queen on a pie? 1.00

00:05:02.780 Just went all Viking and shit on it. 1.00

00:05:05.520 The idea of a queen 1.00

00:05:07.200 is as fucking 1.00

00:05:09.540 antiquated as a funeral pyre. 1.00

00:05:11.480 That's a good point. You might as well burn her 1.00

00:05:13.420 in the town square. On the day of her funeral 1.00

00:05:15.820 talk. 1.00

00:05:17.860 That's what a fucking funeral is 1.00

00:05:19.620 for most people, is being burned 1.00

00:05:21.120 alive, but they're dead. 0.89

00:05:23.960 Yeah. They're burned dead.

00:05:24.960 They're burned dead, absolutely.

00:05:26.640 But anyway, so you're out in the North Sea.

00:05:29.680 You ended your show with a joke

00:05:32.300 that didn't, that caused

00:05:34.240 silence, and you said, I thought we'd have a

00:05:36.280 moment's silence for the Queen, and walked off stage.

00:05:38.380 Did I say that last night? Yeah.

00:05:39.740 Oh, shit. That is funny. 1.00

00:05:42.360 That's a great bit of ad lib.

00:05:44.240 I don't remember the end of that show.

00:05:46.480 That's the problem.

00:05:47.820 Because I'm not a high guy. I've never

00:05:50.040 been a pot guy, and I started playing

00:05:52.080 with it during the quarantine.

00:05:53.880 Just edibles, and

00:05:55.700 then I did it on stage

00:05:58.100 just as a tester coming into the UK in Detroit

00:06:01.660 where I took it on stage when I started

00:06:04.560 to go, okay, if it goes poorly,

00:06:07.120 I'll be at the end anyway.

00:06:09.280 I'll just bail a little early.

00:06:11.380 And it went great.

00:06:12.660 And then we ran into edibles

00:06:14.920 on the beginning of this tour.

00:06:16.420 And I'm like, so I did like full high day.

00:06:19.760 It's the day we did the Have a Word podcast.

00:06:22.840 And that was fun.

00:06:24.140 Like the whole day I was,

00:06:25.900 and so I was high on stage. 0.97

00:06:27.100 I'm like I'm getting high on stage every fucking night which I never did in my whole career 0.93

00:06:32.180 so last night was the only time I went yeah maybe too big of a room 0.96

00:06:37.000 are you enjoying the whole edibles experience because I'll be honest you we all love an edible 0.57

00:06:43.800 here yeah I fucking enjoy writing I actually enjoy the process of writing where like when I

00:06:51.060 I had to come back after 18 months off. 0.95

00:06:54.460 I was writing a set by myself high

00:06:57.340 and I just started writing like longhand

00:07:00.560 like everything I'm saying and then I get like a heckler.

00:07:04.040 I'm writing a heckler, heckling me

00:07:06.040 and then I'm trashing the heckler 0.93

00:07:07.840 and I'm laughing my balls off. 0.87

00:07:10.240 Like this is worth nothing.

00:07:13.120 This is just an imaginary show

00:07:15.120 that I just wrote out longhand.

00:07:17.220 And yeah, I like the creativity

00:07:20.560 and uh it's it's like doing doing drugs and then doing an art form which i think stand-up is like

00:07:28.540 it's so much fun the only problem is is like you alluded to before is when it tips too far

00:07:34.880 like i remember once well it takes away some of your skills that you're you're like i'm watching

00:07:40.060 my brain react to a heckler to someone shouting out to me bluffing a segue and i'm watching my

00:07:49.580 brain watch itself almost like 3D imaging and I'm just having a completely different experience on

00:07:57.600 stage where but then you lose a skill like all right I heard that guy just scream again

00:08:05.820 how loud is that do I need to address that and I'm watching my brain process all the things that

00:08:14.920 usually on airplane mode in your comic brain you know what's happening but i'm watching that happen

00:08:21.880 it was great probably not so much for the audience and doug you mentioned not doing stand-up for 18

00:08:28.040 months what was that like bliss that's when i realized what i want to do with my life is

00:08:35.160 absolutely nothing you you didn't miss it you didn't miss the buzz oh not at all no really

00:08:43.400 none i miss none of it that's incredible because i stopped doing stand-up after the pandemic i was

00:08:48.800 like this isn't good for me that like the lifestyle is killing me you know traveling around and doing

00:08:54.920 the show i've got another thing that i really enjoy doing so you really but but i always thought you

00:09:00.120 i imagined you would like it would be the thing you'd miss it like crazy you've been doing this

00:09:04.780 for 30 years man i know at some point you go hey i think i've said everything that i need to say

00:09:11.060 i don't know how else to repackage this uh and but i did have i had i thrived during

00:09:20.040 but i i bought that house at that point it was 15 years i'd lived there and i didn't know where 0.76

00:09:26.540 my shit was really and i had a year and a half to go okay i'm gonna fucking organize the tupperware 0.96

00:09:32.520 drawer like you just as a 32 years of traveling so you get home maybe you have a couple months 0.99

00:09:40.060 off at best but you're just like dumping your bags repacking your bags to go out again that

00:09:47.680 gave me a sense of home that makes a lot of sense man and listen let's talk about your show a little

00:09:53.480 bit because one of the things that you talk about in your in your current show is how did you come

00:09:58.120 up with trigonometry it wasn't hard man because when he said the name i'm like all right it's

00:10:04.640 gonna be a play on words is it trick trick trigonometry i go that's fucking brilliant and if 0.94

00:10:10.120 you have a brilliant title the the album will follow yeah yeah trigonometry well we we were

00:10:17.080 trying to sort of say to people we might have controversial conversations with different people

00:10:21.720 we wanted to be free basically to have whatever conversation we wanted so it's kind of a trigger

00:10:26.820 warning in a way like we're saying this might be offensive to something yeah that's why i was

00:10:30.860 wondering why you're asking me how I started

00:10:32.860 comment. What does the fuck about it? 0.97

00:10:34.600 Alright, what do you think about the Jews, Doug? 0.99

00:10:37.720 No, but listen,

00:10:39.120 I was going to ask you, because in your

00:10:40.880 show, you've got a very strong

00:10:42.580 anti-authoritarian bent

00:10:44.700 to the stuff you talk about. And I'm trying to

00:10:46.740 downplay that now.

00:10:48.460 Why? Because everyone

00:10:50.840 has got a fucking opinion 1.00

00:10:52.340 and you have to 1.00

00:10:54.840 balance

00:10:56.520 what's going on with...

00:10:58.640 Like, I used to be very anti-government

00:11:01.140 until anti-government.

00:11:03.260 Like, okay, you're doing it wrong.

00:11:05.700 Like, I'm trying to soft touch

00:11:07.280 how to be anti-government.

00:11:09.200 And I'm working on things that, 0.97

00:11:11.860 again, the edibles fucking help create, 0.96

00:11:15.640 like, oh, I'm actually thinking creatively 0.99

00:11:17.980 without forcing it

00:11:19.540 because I have a tour coming up.

00:11:21.760 But then you go, okay,

00:11:23.140 now I have too much information 0.98

00:11:24.640 and I don't fucking know. 0.97

00:11:25.880 So I'm going with what I know right now. 0.99

00:11:28.640 Which is not shit. 1.00

00:11:31.180 But everyone's got a fucking opinion. 0.99

00:11:34.340 Like, overnight. 1.00

00:11:36.940 And does that make comedy more difficult?

00:11:39.860 The fact that everyone's got an opinion?

00:11:41.540 Whereas before, like, you'd go out and do some stuff and whatever it may be.

00:11:45.520 Most people would be like, okay, I'm going to listen.

00:11:47.320 Whereas now they're like.

00:11:48.140 I riffed on that last night above the whole.

00:11:52.840 There was a construct of what's really going on.

00:11:55.940 If they said that we're at war with Afghanistan,

00:12:00.480 everyone's on the same page

00:12:01.880 that we're actually at war with Afghanistan.

00:12:04.500 Now it's split into every news is fake news

00:12:07.800 and that's manipulated and that's slanted 0.98

00:12:10.660 and you have no idea what the fuck. 0.98

00:12:13.720 And then you realize, I don't care. 0.99

00:12:16.400 None of this affects me.

00:12:19.160 There's no truth anymore is what you're saying.

00:12:21.440 That's, yeah, and I quote Roseanne Barr.

00:12:24.060 She said that to me. 1.00

00:12:25.940 Where she, I was doing her podcast and she's got fucking QAnon bents and she's, and she knows she's mentally ill. 1.00

00:12:34.580 And she goes, yeah, how do we do comedy anymore when there's no such thing as truth left? 0.96

00:12:40.800 And it's, that was the most important thing I heard during quarantine.

00:12:46.620 So what is the path for a comedian now?

00:12:50.180 How do you do jokes when everyone's got their own different version of reality? 0.99

00:12:55.940 Well, talk about the shit that matters to you. 0.99

00:13:01.540 Talk about your life. 1.00

00:13:04.260 If you're just talking about your opinion of what you hear on mainstream media

00:13:09.640 or not mainstream media because you're cooler than that 1.00

00:13:12.720 and you still get someone else's fucking opinion, 0.99

00:13:17.440 yeah, maybe you should do something with your life. 1.00

00:13:21.960 Yeah.

00:13:22.320 Well, coming back to my anti-authoritarian question,

00:13:24.700 And the reason I was asking you is that like the comics I grew up watching, the Carlins and the Hickses, they were pushing back against the authoritarianism that was coming from the Christian right in particular.

00:13:36.160 Right. They were pushing back against that. And the political landscape has changed so much now.

00:13:40.780 It's kind of, you know, in America, you've got the Democrats. They're in power now.

00:13:44.960 How does that affect all of this stuff?

00:13:47.400 If I don't care, well the problem is

00:13:51.560 I've reached a saturation point

00:13:54.720 where I've lived through almost everything,

00:13:57.900 like I've never, none of us grew up in a day

00:14:00.800 where everything's fine now.

00:14:03.360 True.

00:14:04.200 It's always been the end of times on some level

00:14:07.580 and it just comes from more sources now.

00:14:11.680 Now you can't get away from that 0.99

00:14:14.580 the world is fucking dying feed. 0.99

00:14:17.700 I grew up with four channels, 0.99

00:14:19.280 but they were of four channels

00:14:20.660 of this is the most important election ever.

00:14:23.200 Well, which one wasn't in hindsight?

00:14:26.200 Tell me which election you were wrong about

00:14:28.920 that wasn't the most censorship, feminism, 1.00

00:14:35.920 the 70s with this sensitive man and pronouns.

00:14:40.920 It was like, we don't wanna be called miss or missus.

00:14:43.960 We want to be called Miz. 0.99

00:14:45.500 Yeah, I lived through the 70s of fucking pronoun changes. 0.99

00:14:48.840 And yeah, they get fucking lippy. 0.99

00:14:52.400 And then it trails off. 0.99

00:14:53.760 All right, no one's really going to do that.

00:14:56.260 It always blows me away.

00:14:57.840 Like every time I go to America, and I love America, 0.99

00:15:00.180 I think it's a fucking great country. 1.00

00:15:01.600 I think part of the reason we shit on it in this country 1.00

00:15:04.380 is because we're jealous, if I'm being honest. 0.99

00:15:06.120 But the fear porn that comes from American news broadcasters,

00:15:11.540 it's another level. 0.58

00:15:13.440 Yeah.

00:15:13.960 And that whole Roseanne quote where I go,

00:15:19.900 I don't even know, everyone in the States

00:15:22.960 is angry at everyone and there's sides,

00:15:25.480 but when you go out in the world,

00:15:28.000 you don't meet those people.

00:15:29.800 I mean, occasionally you'll see a MAGA hat or something

00:15:32.640 or someone with a Prius with too many bumper stickers,

00:15:35.080 but no, you're making me think that those people hate me.

00:15:40.080 Like, the fear itself is constructed or it's not.

00:15:44.440 I don't know.

00:15:45.400 Like, I have no way to base an opinion on. 0.99

00:15:49.440 So I just talk about shit that I know about. 0.99

00:15:51.980 When we were in Nashville, we were getting some chicken. 0.99

00:15:55.020 And there was a guy who heard that we had a foreign accent.

00:15:58.420 And he said, how are you enjoying America, blah, blah, blah.

00:16:01.000 And we said, oh, we're actually quite enjoying it.

00:16:02.520 And he got so pissed off.

00:16:05.160 You have no idea. 1.00

00:16:06.800 How can you like this fucking country? 0.99

00:16:09.260 he's gone like that's what he was like you know what i mean that's weird that's weird like people 1.00

00:16:14.960 here expecting me to shit on the queen yeah disappointed customers and this lady on fucking 1.00

00:16:21.900 twitter i should have never looked at twitter last night when i was really fucking high and uh she's 0.99

00:16:27.920 like because the guy kept yelling out uh talk about the queen and she goes in that guy's defense 0.80

00:16:35.640 he should have just talked about the queen

00:16:37.720 and that would have shut the guy up.

00:16:40.740 And he's had a whole week to write material about the queen.

00:16:44.120 The queen is not, she said,

00:16:46.080 he should address the elephant in the room,

00:16:48.220 which it's not my room. 0.98

00:16:50.560 A queen doesn't fucking matter to me 1.00

00:16:52.920 on any level in any part of my life. 1.00

00:16:55.620 When I did shit on Monarchy, 0.98

00:16:57.300 or it was a special 10 years ago, 0.99

00:16:59.580 I have nothing to say.

00:17:01.580 Just the fact that you're angry and expect,

00:17:04.880 Like, I had a deadline to write queen jokes. 0.99

00:17:08.600 Like, who the fuck does the audience think they are anymore? 0.98

00:17:12.360 Do you think audiences have become more entitled? 0.99

00:17:14.880 Yeah.

00:17:16.100 You do?

00:17:16.860 Not mine, generally.

00:17:19.380 Because I do have a very niche, you know, chunk of the pie. 0.97

00:17:23.940 And no one comes in and fucks with me.

00:17:27.380 But, yeah, audiences, since comedy became, 0.91

00:17:32.240 Like, since they could take down comics,

00:17:35.100 I don't know when that started.

00:17:37.040 And we don't have a lot of crossover comics here.

00:17:39.920 I don't know how much your social media...

00:17:42.480 How many comics do you know, American comics,

00:17:45.120 that you only know because of a Me Too

00:17:47.960 or a cancel culture or said the wrong thing?

00:17:52.880 Like, how many American comics do you know

00:17:54.920 that you wouldn't have known if they hadn't got in trouble,

00:17:58.740 which means

00:18:00.040 sold more tickets

00:18:01.560 and got more famous

00:18:02.940 not a lot probably

00:18:04.400 is the truth

00:18:05.040 Bill Burr

00:18:05.740 Joe Rogan

00:18:07.200 a few

00:18:07.700 if I didn't know

00:18:08.840 Sadowitz

00:18:09.460 I'd know him now

00:18:10.320 I mean I've never met him

00:18:11.920 but I'm aware

00:18:13.160 of his legend

00:18:13.960 but I know him now

00:18:15.720 just because of 0.96

00:18:16.920 getting fucking cancelled 0.98

00:18:18.200 in Edinburgh 0.99

00:18:19.660 at the Fringe

00:18:20.320 yeah

00:18:20.560 have you ever seen his shows

00:18:21.600 no 0.99

00:18:22.140 he's fucking brilliant 0.99

00:18:23.520 he's an incredible comic man 0.99

00:18:25.200 his stuff cannot be on TV

00:18:27.820 He just can't.

00:18:28.960 But he's incredible.

00:18:30.480 And I've heard about the backstory

00:18:32.460 and his personality.

00:18:34.380 You know, I know guys like that.

00:18:36.480 Yeah, definitely bucket list

00:18:37.800 to see Jerry Sadowitz.

00:18:39.180 Oh, man, he's incredible.

00:18:40.600 Another thing, 1.00

00:18:41.580 that asshole kept yelling out 1.00

00:18:43.140 between, 1.00

00:18:43.780 talk about the queen, 0.99

00:18:45.160 and then he'd just yell,

00:18:46.480 Jerry Sadowitz! 0.99

00:18:48.600 And I'm fucking high, 0.99

00:18:50.380 like blind and one eye high. 0.99

00:18:52.400 I can hear, 1.00

00:18:53.460 and you can't see shit, 0.99

00:18:54.900 and it's the Hammersmith. 0.98

00:18:56.500 So, yeah, 0.98

00:18:57.040 If you're going to take fucking high chances and ramble on, 0.97

00:19:00.620 do it at the biggest place that you ever play, ever. 0.96

00:19:27.040 be? Probably stalking, mate. You'd have to corner them in the supermarket, probably run near like

00:19:33.200 the sort of frozen food aisles, and then just bark questions at them before they can escape.

00:19:38.780 Not the American ones, as they have guns. And you'd have to be extra careful with the females, 1.00

00:19:43.960 as that's how I got in trouble last time. Can you really imagine you're going to get

00:19:48.060 Douglas Murray near the frozen food aisle? If you want to ask our incredible guest questions

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00:20:51.080 Well, just one.

00:20:51.960 Exactly.

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00:20:56.740 because they love locals.

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00:21:03.320 They prefer locals to trigonometry. 0.99

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00:21:09.240 I'm the one that goes to jail. 1.00

00:21:10.900 Right.

00:21:11.480 Go to trigonometry.locals.com.

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00:21:21.680 See you there guys

00:21:23.180 It's interesting that you say that

00:21:25.500 that audiences have become more

00:21:27.600 demanding because pre-pandemic

00:21:29.980 I started

00:21:31.500 comedy in 2009 and I

00:21:33.280 gradually noticed audiences

00:21:35.200 change and a part of it was like

00:21:37.280 is it just me?

00:21:38.700 Not everyone, the vast majority

00:21:41.640 were always the same but there was always

00:21:43.620 that little pocket that just got

00:21:45.360 more and more and more vocal

00:21:47.680 when they were, like, upset about something

00:21:49.940 or they were demanding something.

00:21:51.600 Yeah, again, we don't really have that problem in my audiences

00:21:55.240 because at a certain ticket price,

00:21:59.840 people aren't just shuffling in.

00:22:01.720 Yeah.

00:22:02.340 Oh, what's going on here?

00:22:03.820 Oh, yeah, a private party, basically.

00:22:06.900 Yeah.

00:22:07.440 I'm not accepting new fans for a while. 0.99

00:22:10.120 I'm just going to have to start filling out fucking applications 0.99

00:22:13.060 because people know at this point what they're going to see. 0.99

00:22:17.500 It's like an underground garage. 1.00

00:22:21.420 But I do know social media is so fucked 0.99

00:22:26.240 that, yeah, you will get people, 0.99

00:22:30.300 but that's where...

00:22:32.280 I have to realize that my audience 0.98

00:22:34.960 isn't on fucking Twitter all day. 1.00

00:22:37.720 The actual asses in seats, the warm bodies, 1.00

00:22:41.860 have fucking lives, 1.00

00:22:43.220 and they don't sit around fighting these fake fights, 1.00

00:22:47.600 which most of them are.

00:22:50.560 So I don't know how much my act has changed

00:22:55.880 because of...

00:22:59.860 Oh, yeah, guide me somewhere.

00:23:01.700 That was me.

00:23:02.460 No, no, it's fine. 1.00

00:23:03.480 I guess you were insulated from all this bullshit 0.98

00:23:06.680 to some extent by virtue of where you are. 0.99

00:23:09.200 Do you feel like you've had to change your act

00:23:12.800 in any way?

00:23:13.560 Are you just doing you

00:23:15.000 and that's it?

00:23:16.280 No, I look back

00:23:17.960 and stuff I have filmed

00:23:19.720 over the years

00:23:20.540 and there's a lot of it

00:23:21.620 where I go, 1.00

00:23:22.200 oh shit. 1.00

00:23:26.000 There's a word 1.00

00:23:26.960 or whatever

00:23:27.520 that's completely away

00:23:29.980 from the point

00:23:30.820 of what I was saying,

00:23:32.680 the point I was making.

00:23:34.520 They'd never hear the point

00:23:35.920 because they heard the word.

00:23:38.160 So yeah,

00:23:38.660 you look back and go,

00:23:39.640 oh God,

00:23:40.040 I hate that whole

00:23:41.420 thought is lost because I demanded to save a word but that's the problem isn't it Doug it's like

00:23:51.020 when somebody looks at material that was done 15 or 20 years ago and they're like well in 2022

00:23:57.760 this is unacceptable and you say to them yeah but it's not 2022 for when that bit was filmed

00:24:03.740 whenever it was yeah again i am just straddling where i am never going to be famous enough to be

00:24:12.440 cancelled yeah because nobody knows you'd have to if you have to explain who the person is

00:24:20.380 then they're not cancelled right i see what so you think people people getting when they're

00:24:27.220 getting cancelled that you mentioned jerry sadowitz or whatever it's quite often whatever

00:24:30.860 He literally got canceled.

00:24:33.260 Remember, cancel culture is this all-enveloping term

00:24:38.080 that doesn't quite make sense with every situation. 0.97

00:24:41.560 And I wish I had a better fucking phrase to recoin it. 0.92

00:24:46.920 But what was the question? 0.98

00:24:49.720 This show was canceled.

00:24:51.060 Oh, literally.

00:24:52.000 Yes, it was literally canceled,

00:24:53.800 where he was doing a run at the Fringe Festival, 0.97

00:24:56.060 and evidently someone said, I don't fucking know. 0.89

00:24:59.540 but I do know I read it 0.97

00:25:02.100 and went oh Jerry Sadow's tickets

00:25:03.980 just went up in price

00:25:05.120 and rightfully so

00:25:07.060 do you ever find yourself

00:25:09.660 because I love you as a comic

00:25:11.980 you're brilliant

00:25:12.880 you tend to go for the topics

00:25:16.320 that are more controversial

00:25:17.880 the hot button topic

00:25:19.260 is there an attraction to you

00:25:22.000 for wanting to hit that 1.00

00:25:23.100 or is it you just think fuck it 1.00

00:25:24.320 well that's what's interesting to us 1.00

00:25:26.500 and I'm guessing

00:25:28.720 rules still apply

00:25:30.500 that in a green room

00:25:31.640 comics who are tired of 0.99

00:25:34.520 fucking pablum 1.00

00:25:35.780 yeah the first shit we talk about 1.00

00:25:38.660 is you know awful 1.00

00:25:40.440 things in a green room

00:25:41.780 the same way cops are

00:25:44.380 firefighters gallows

00:25:46.540 humor is what they call it

00:25:48.340 yeah we have gallows

00:25:50.440 humor naturally because we've seen

00:25:52.380 every other lighter form

00:25:54.340 of comedy and let's go 0.95

00:25:56.380 down to the kick fucking part or whatever just and is it the challenge of making something like 0.96

00:26:03.620 that funny because it's more challenging or is it just that well you have to be interested first 0.98

00:26:09.780 i guess you have to have a point of view i mean you can make up a point of view and i know a

00:26:16.800 million comedians are doing it now because it sells tickets but yeah if i don't have a belief

00:26:25.080 in what I'm saying.

00:26:27.740 And there's bits that I've tried to do.

00:26:30.380 I know this is coming up.

00:26:35.220 Prison, just the whole prison institution

00:26:38.460 I've never had a strong bit about.

00:26:41.020 And if there is one cause, I would be behind.

00:26:44.940 It's A, the unjustly incarcerated.

00:26:51.620 And just the prison system, the justice system itself.

00:26:54.520 and but then i just get too angry and i don't have jokes and you can't make it funny yeah

00:27:00.220 i've never seen the angle and that's why we have to trip tonight do you have any ketamine

00:27:05.500 that's interesting um and but you you talked at the beginning about how you started out and you

00:27:15.880 were doing all the usual stuff that everybody does particularly 30 years ago all the masturbation

00:27:20.520 jokes and all of that when and how was the shift for you when you went actually i'm gonna go in a

00:27:26.300 in a different did that just evolve or was there yeah it just evolved with the uh like when you

00:27:32.900 see character acts and you go oh this is really funny but how where do you go from that like if

00:27:39.380 you're talking about your life anyway and when i was doing jerk off jokes when i was 23 that's 1.00

00:27:45.180 That's my life, jerking off and chasing pussies. 1.00

00:27:49.860 That's all you knew. 1.00

00:27:51.020 So I was honest to myself.

00:27:54.440 Yeah, that's when I started growing up

00:27:56.580 and reading things and stuff. 0.99

00:28:00.540 Hey, wait, the world's kind of fucked up 0.99

00:28:03.220 more than that girl wouldn't blow me at karaoke. 1.00

00:28:07.780 What do you read?

00:28:09.020 What do you read about?

00:28:10.140 Now, pretty much, except for Sam Tallent's book,

00:28:16.720 Running the Light, which I know is coming over here

00:28:20.240 because a few people, Bobby Mayer said, 0.96

00:28:22.580 oh, my roommate got that and I'm gonna fucking read it next. 0.61

00:28:26.120 It's fiction, but it's about comedy, 0.93

00:28:28.360 that specifically parts of comedy that, you know,

00:28:32.500 oh my God, it's as good as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

00:28:36.760 and that good, that well-written.

00:28:41.980 And it came out at the same time as my book,

00:28:44.580 and I spent more time promoting that book because I read it.

00:28:47.780 I never read fiction.

00:28:50.020 It's mostly nonfiction.

00:28:52.600 Anything that, reading another prison book,

00:28:55.320 hoping I'm going to strike a chord of something funny 0.99

00:28:58.260 in the most depressing shit ever. 0.96

00:29:01.020 And is that the challenge for you, 1.00

00:29:03.260 to make the most depressing shit ever, 0.98

00:29:05.920 which is you know the taboo subjects which is a really tough difficult subject and make it funny 0.96

00:29:11.460 it's I don't have a challenge anymore but it's the best feeling when you have a bit that you

00:29:20.600 know the audience is gonna laugh at and then think oh that was wrong but it's too late because

00:29:27.680 you laughed because i'm right and so like i write as a defense attorney that's what i i would do in

00:29:37.920 a perfect world if there was no comedy i would be a defense attorney and so that's find all the 0.79

00:29:44.740 fucking holes in your argument so that's really interesting so what do you mean by that you write 0.98

00:29:49.700 like a defense attorney like that's what you just said finding the holes yeah find all the holes 0.99

00:29:55.480 find the loopholes in

00:29:57.460 follow the mob

00:29:59.420 and then go

00:30:01.500 why is the mob wrong here

00:30:03.620 and

00:30:04.040 then deconstruct that

00:30:07.380 if I had any material about

00:30:09.580 the queen

00:30:10.260 there was the reverence for dead

00:30:13.520 people like why

00:30:14.460 so let's write your queen material now

00:30:16.300 but so it's so interesting

00:30:19.580 so you go with the mob

00:30:21.140 you see what the mob believe or the group of people

00:30:23.640 with the general consensus

00:30:25.020 and then you pick the holes in it

00:30:27.020 in order to create the comedy.

00:30:30.320 My favorite bits have been where,

00:30:33.400 okay, I'm going to take something

00:30:34.860 that would go against the grain of the audience, 0.99

00:30:39.120 find a fucking loophole that makes perfect sense, 0.99

00:30:42.500 like a defense attorney, 1.00

00:30:44.160 and then you can't handle the truth.

00:30:48.480 That's what I used to enjoy doing as well.

00:30:50.640 It's a great feeling.

00:30:52.660 um it's also that you know when i think of it that way the audience is also in a place where

00:31:00.820 if they do laugh at the wrong thing how much do the we should interview the audience sometime

00:31:07.580 how much pressure are you under to not laugh at a specific joke because you feel outside pressure

00:31:15.420 oh if i laugh at that i could be cancelled as well as a human being i wonder because cancel

00:31:22.100 culture, Me Too, has only affected the famous people.

00:31:27.280 Well, I used to remember, I used to watch people in the audience, and sometimes people

00:31:33.400 would laugh at a joke that was of that time, and then they'd look around.

00:31:38.380 You could literally watch them checking, and then suddenly there was, oh, I'm one of the

00:31:42.080 few people laughing, and then they won't laugh at the next one anymore.

00:31:44.980 But there was a slow burn as you aged, when you've been my age, where, okay, yeah, we,

00:31:52.100 slowly didn't

00:31:53.980 say that anymore.

00:31:56.060 Like, we just kind of

00:31:58.020 over the years. Now

00:31:59.880 it's in a fucking week. Wait, 1.00

00:32:02.260 I said what? And now it's

00:32:03.700 the worst thing? I can't keep up

00:32:06.120 with the kids.

00:32:07.500 It's speeding up.

00:32:09.100 It is speeding up, and it's certain words.

00:32:12.500 It just feels like certain

00:32:14.060 words, like last year it was fine to say

00:32:16.000 this word, and now you're like, it's like

00:32:18.160 BAME. I don't know. But I feel like 0.99

00:32:20.160 I'm so old that I remember when f*** meant a bundle of sticks. 0.92

00:32:28.020 But it did. 0.62

00:32:29.660 It was a different day and age.

00:32:32.180 There's the Negroni. 1.00

00:32:33.720 All right.

00:32:35.260 There we go.

00:32:36.200 So you don't feel under any kind of pressure at all

00:32:40.260 because you've got your own audience.

00:32:42.040 Or is there still that kind of...

00:32:43.840 Do you ever get that kind of nagging sensation of like,

00:32:47.500 is this going to be the one time where they're going to get me

00:32:50.260 or someone's going to get outraged?

00:32:52.180 Oh, no, last night I go,

00:32:53.820 this might be the time I shouldn't have been high on this tour.

00:32:57.300 And I love the fact that I'm making progress

00:33:00.140 by trying to adapt from a liquor place of intoxicant

00:33:06.360 to a plant-based intoxicant.

00:33:08.900 They're evolving.

00:33:09.440 Right now, yeah, but they're overlapping right now.

00:33:12.640 Right now, it's your high and drunk.

00:33:15.040 And, yeah, last night probably then I should have probably dialed it back a little.

00:33:21.120 But you're not cancelled.

00:33:23.020 You're still going to do your stuff.

00:33:24.140 Yeah.

00:33:24.360 That's awesome.

00:33:25.080 Yeah.

00:33:25.540 And that's interesting.

00:33:26.960 So you're starting to prefer the plant-based intoxication because I used to love it.

00:33:31.600 No, it's just literally in the last week, every night I go, no, I did one time high on stage.

00:33:40.440 I loved it.

00:33:41.180 And I've been high on stage every night.

00:33:43.040 And last night's the first time I went, yeah, I probably didn't remember to finish a lot of the stories I started.

00:33:51.800 I might have fucked that gig up, but it was just one blemish in an otherwise stellar week.

00:33:58.760 So here's the big question.

00:34:00.080 What are you going to do next time?

00:34:02.680 I guess I'm going to have to find me a weed guy to follow me around because it's still illegal here in the UK.

00:34:10.080 What do you think about that?

00:34:10.900 What do I think about it?

00:34:12.820 I just started getting high as an old man because it's legal,

00:34:17.340 because they're everywhere.

00:34:18.780 That's how I did start literally is I accidentally ate a bunch of gummies 0.99

00:34:22.860 when I was cleaning out the fucking bar before football Sunday. 0.98

00:34:26.360 And I thought, no, this must be a special bag of gummies. 1.00

00:34:31.040 You ate a bag of weed gummies?

00:34:33.200 I ate four.

00:34:34.460 You ate four?

00:34:35.100 Ten milligrams.

00:34:36.320 What kind of state were you in?

00:34:37.900 And well, it was weird because it was during when I was trying to do Sober October.

00:34:43.200 And that's why I was out cleaning on a Saturday night because I was sober and I didn't know what to do with myself. 0.59

00:34:48.920 So I'm out there cleaning up the fucking bar for Football Sunday when people come over and there was a small bag of gummies. 0.94

00:34:55.560 I thought they were someone brought and I just ate them. 0.97

00:34:58.400 And then my friend comes in and goes, you didn't notice like the Jamaican writing on the bag and the pot leaves?

00:35:06.040 No, I just saw there's four gummies left, 0.98

00:35:08.340 so I ate them because I'm trying to fucking... 0.97

00:35:10.880 Yeah, that's how it started. 0.98

00:35:13.060 You had a good football Sunday, then.

00:35:15.560 Yeah, and I've really enjoyed...

00:35:18.320 This...

00:35:19.600 I forget what we were talking about.

00:35:22.340 We were talking about weed.

00:35:23.980 Which is kind of appropriate.

00:35:25.500 Yeah.

00:35:25.760 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:26.760 Well, it's good to see it's having an effect.

00:35:28.620 No, it's...

00:35:30.120 It's really been good.

00:35:33.900 I don't know. 0.95

00:35:34.600 we're talking about last night but fuck last night yeah but you know what i actually really 0.95

00:35:39.400 enjoy about weed it doesn't have the edge that alcohol has you know alcohol like i don't know 0.98

00:35:45.320 if you get this but it's got the darkness to it you know what i mean yeah that you the next day

00:35:50.980 with the bleakness and the darkness and sometimes you wake up and you i have not been hung over 0.97

00:35:56.660 except for today and that was more a weed fucking almost like a k-hole of weed today 0.97

00:36:03.020 and on a day off thank god but i've not been hung over this whole tour i've not gotten into that 0.99

00:36:10.400 place where you're like oh fuck i can't get that sleep back every day is gonna suck because this 0.99

00:36:16.860 is gonna be on my back so yeah i haven't had that that's that's great next the next thing 1.00

00:36:23.240 you're going to be joining the gym don't don't see that happening that's not a side effect of

00:36:29.740 weed is uh i want to do crunches but no that i just find that and i'd love to get your opinion

00:36:38.740 on this as someone who is a drinker and enjoys drink to me it's the worst drug it's the worst

00:36:45.820 drug surely yeah but i got good at it it's kind of if you were an olympian and at some point 0.99

00:36:51.980 right before you turned into fucking Caitlyn 0.99

00:36:54.680 instead of Bruce, 0.99

00:36:56.000 you thought, 1.00

00:36:57.260 ah, shit, I should have done luge. 1.00

00:36:59.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:00.760 I get a name for myself 0.99

00:37:02.820 by doing fucking discus and decathlon 1.00

00:37:06.840 or whatever fucking Bruce Jenner did. 1.00

00:37:09.780 What if you decided, 1.00

00:37:10.820 I want to be a woman

00:37:11.540 and I should have done luge.

00:37:13.880 What's luge?

00:37:14.660 I don't even know.

00:37:15.160 The point is, I'm a drunk,

00:37:17.440 but I should have,

00:37:19.300 like, I should have done different drugs

00:37:21.480 with my life.

00:37:22.540 But this is the one

00:37:23.580 I got good at

00:37:24.380 and it's the one

00:37:25.000 I'm known for

00:37:25.780 and I'm going to stick

00:37:26.920 with the broad

00:37:27.540 that brought me.

00:37:29.040 So you're not going

00:37:30.040 to use this

00:37:30.640 as an opportunity

00:37:31.520 in your 50s

00:37:33.200 in order to explore

00:37:33.960 the other drugs.

00:37:34.620 You're not going

00:37:34.900 to try mushroom.

00:37:36.000 We're not going

00:37:36.380 to see Doug Statham.

00:37:37.800 No, I did my very fair share

00:37:42.420 of hallucinogens

00:37:43.340 early on in life

00:37:44.520 when it was easy to do

00:37:45.960 because you didn't have

00:37:46.760 a bunch of baggage.

00:37:48.700 Now,

00:37:49.020 and did that have an effect on your comedy hallucinogens absolutely what was it

00:37:57.020 just the the freedom of mind where you're just following thoughts to the just

00:38:05.680 hannigan and i drove we did uh this is your manager yeah the scotsman he uh i thought he

00:38:15.540 was Irish. That did not go that well. Oh, no, he hates the Irish, he hates the English, and he hates

00:38:22.980 the Scots. Don't we all? I mean, that just sounds like a Scots. He hates himself as much as he hates 0.94

00:38:27.480 everyone, and he hates everyone from this country, but he has different reasons. Anyway, we drove

00:38:32.960 five hours. One of the days, we didn't take a train. We took a five-hour car service, and

00:38:41.980 he said up front

00:38:44.220 because he knows I hate music

00:38:45.700 asked the guy

00:38:47.420 who's about to drive us five hours

00:38:49.380 if he could do this without his 1.00

00:38:51.840 fucking stupid music on 1.00

00:38:53.640 because I like to think 1.00

00:38:55.200 and I really enjoy

00:38:57.360 we didn't talk for five

00:39:00.320 hours, not the driver

00:39:02.400 not me and Brian

00:39:03.460 for five hours on a day trip

00:39:05.640 because I like thinking that much 1.00

00:39:07.820 my fucking head is 1.00

00:39:09.840 always a source of entertainment 1.00

00:39:11.920 for me or a problem, whatever it is, but it's always on it. And I fucking hate music because 0.99

00:39:18.020 it interrupts my thoughts, which are, what the fuck am I talking about? Don't you have 0.99

00:39:24.100 power to shut this down?

00:39:26.320 I asked you about hallucinogens and how they changed the comedy because I've never taken

00:39:31.420 hallucinogens, but my understanding is it kind of opens your mind a lot, right?

00:39:37.980 Yeah, why don't you just make a part two and then you guys, we can all be like. 1.00

00:39:43.620 Shut this down, you go fucking trip. 0.99

00:39:46.340 I would demand if I had kids that at some point before graduation they trip 1.00

00:39:52.420 because you don't fucking know anything about life. 0.96

00:39:56.020 No, there is that magical experience when you trip 0.99

00:39:59.200 that you suddenly look around at nature and you go, 0.98

00:40:02.340 oh, this is fucking beautiful. 0.89

00:40:04.400 And you just don't have that, or maybe not. 0.99

00:40:06.940 Duck didn't have that.

00:40:07.940 Well, no, as I've gotten older where you go, okay, being high, and I gave high lots of

00:40:17.700 chances when I was a teenager, and now that I'm old high, I go, oh, this makes music sound

00:40:25.180 even better, but now I know that I know that music sucks, so I feel like I'm being tricked 0.86

00:40:31.600 by the drug okay the marrakesh express this song sucks and i'm singing it out loud and i'm 0.91

00:40:39.700 embarrassing myself because i'm new to the drug i had that experience with ecstasy i'm like i used

00:40:47.260 to listen to the electronic music you know like the whole rave scene dance and you're like this

00:40:51.380 music sounds shit when you're sober if you need to take a pill to make the music sound good 0.99

00:40:55.900 that's a problem yeah then just shut off the fucking music and if you can't entertain yourself 0.99

00:41:01.260 that is a good point so what do you think like when you go on those car journeys you talk about 0.98

00:41:07.820 your thoughts what do you think about is it the comedy that you're trying to write is it a bit is

00:41:12.280 it could be trying to recreate a dream you had last night another benefit to the weed sleep so 0.74

00:41:19.920 good and my fucking dreams are the best highs and i i try to manipulate my dreams and and they're 0.98

00:41:29.160 They're boring to talk about. 0.99

00:41:31.000 You really have to be an insular person to enjoy your dreams. 1.00

00:41:36.500 Doug, I think I...

00:41:37.260 I hate myself.

00:41:38.460 I'm watching my podcast in my head.

00:41:41.960 I'm watching what you're watching, and I'm like, 1.00

00:41:44.060 just shut the fuck up, dude. 1.00

00:41:47.200 What would you ask you if you were doing this podcast right now? 1.00

00:41:53.500 I don't know.

00:41:55.080 The troll me? 0.95

00:41:56.280 every time someone trolls you like ah i would if if you could get paid to be a troll i was way 0.97

00:42:05.680 better at trolling upsetting pranking people than i was ever as a comedian and if there was a way to

00:42:12.420 i know it's awful and wrong and that's why school shootings happen everything about it is wrong but 0.90

00:42:19.460 i was so fucking good at it and now you go uh why would i do that to someone yeah or you could do it 0.89

00:42:27.420 i mean if you want to monetize trolling you start a youtube show called trigonometry 0.90

00:42:30.600 yeah you guys get to teach me about monetizing we have definitely who's your uh who's your sponsors

00:42:39.100 uh well we don't know who's going to be in this episode but yeah the manscaped and yeah vpns

00:42:45.980 So use promo code STANHOPE on all of their...

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00:43:59.000 Who are your influences as a comic, Doug?

00:44:02.860 Dice Clay was the one that got me to actually do stand-up.

00:44:08.040 I would repeat his first album.

00:44:12.000 Everyone my age knew every word of that. 1.00

00:44:16.700 Fucking this. 1.00

00:44:18.980 But you suck a good dick. 1.00

00:44:20.960 I don't. 1.00

00:44:22.120 It was perfect at the time.

00:44:25.140 And we're kind of at that time again, everything being cyclical. 1.00

00:44:30.060 Dice Clay, Sam Kinison, all the outlaws of comedy, fucking bitch. 1.00

00:44:34.520 they came off the heels of 10 years of Jerry Seinfeld and Paul Reiser and Ellen DeGeneres and 1.00

00:44:42.920 watch up with airplane food. And this was the refreshing break from was Dice Clay, fuck you 1.00

00:44:50.460 and Sam Kinnis shit. Yeah, it's because you had fucking 10 years of really boring fucking benign 1.00

00:44:57.780 comedy and that spurred that so when you bitch about canceled culture just think of it as a 0.99

00:45:05.460 business deal like oh okay now we can maybe have maybe genres of comedy rather than comedy club

00:45:15.000 they don't have music club they have different sub genres and maybe okay i'm a woke comedy night

00:45:23.420 and it's a safe space.

00:45:24.780 There's nothing wrong with that. 1.00

00:45:26.780 Like, the fucking simpletons 1.00

00:45:29.140 that yell out, 1.00

00:45:29.920 talk about the queen

00:45:31.220 that try to give you comedy advice. 1.00

00:45:35.580 Well, this is bullshit. 1.00

00:45:38.860 Woke comedy. 0.99

00:45:40.900 Comedy should be about everything. 0.99

00:45:42.780 No, comedy should be fucking 0.97

00:45:44.540 put in a... 0.98

00:45:47.460 So you don't walk into comedy

00:45:49.300 that you hate.

00:45:50.200 It shouldn't be just labeled comedy.

00:45:52.460 Well, we have that.

00:45:53.420 Now, there is a woke comedy night in the UK.

00:45:56.740 We also have the comedy Unleashed in London,

00:45:58.940 which is like, say, whatever you want, make whatever jokes you want.

00:46:01.940 It's pretty limiting when you look at the genres of music,

00:46:05.660 which is symphony and mumble rap and EDM and this and that.

00:46:09.260 There's a million. 1.00

00:46:10.740 We have woke and, well, fuck you. 1.00

00:46:14.540 Which is splitting people into fucking sides yet again 1.00

00:46:18.040 and party lines and it all. 0.98

00:46:19.800 I agree with you because I was never a fan of the woke stuff.

00:46:23.100 I was, by the way, never a fan of the overly offensive stuff either.

00:46:26.760 I was sort of leaning towards that, but not really doing that.

00:46:30.900 But I never thought woke comedy should be, like, banned or whatever.

00:46:34.440 I just, I don't enjoy it.

00:46:35.960 Other people enjoy it.

00:46:36.900 Let them go and see it. 0.99

00:46:37.900 That's what, again, when the audience thinks they're part of the fucking conversation, 0.99

00:46:43.020 like, they know what you do. 0.99

00:46:45.380 That lady on Twitter that I should have never looked at Twitter. 1.00

00:46:50.400 He should have just.

00:46:51.560 what do you make of social media sorry i don't know i can't even remember if i said this on the

00:46:58.660 podcast or before when we were talking but the lady that was you did you did i'm asking you

00:47:04.900 mentioned social media a lot and you talked about how people are divided online but actually when

00:47:11.640 you go out into the real world most people aren't so do you think that is a product of social media

00:47:17.100 social media has made it that way

00:47:19.340 that people are screaming

00:47:20.140 it's made me that way

00:47:21.560 because again

00:47:22.200 it's all your

00:47:22.900 your own perception of the world

00:47:26.000 and how you craft that

00:47:27.680 yeah if you

00:47:29.440 sit on social media

00:47:31.000 and you're not even aware

00:47:32.320 that

00:47:32.620 oh

00:47:33.360 this is not real life

00:47:35.360 I at least am aware enough

00:47:37.760 okay that's not real life 0.92

00:47:39.340 but it still sucks in 0.72

00:47:41.280 maybe people 0.78

00:47:42.620 I have no idea

00:47:44.020 you'd have to ask everybody 1.00

00:47:45.720 their goddamn opinion 0.99

00:47:46.960 and that's it isn't it that we just go on this this device we get sucked in and then we go oh 1.00

00:47:55.660 this is someone's opinion and you're like probably isn't they probably just wrote that they didn't

00:47:59.980 even think about it but at the same time i go to a bar and i see a bunch of people talking that

00:48:05.020 probably work together in an office a situation i've never really been in in my life and they're

00:48:11.600 communicating, you go, all right,

00:48:16.260 every one of those people's lives

00:48:18.280 is different than my perception of even my own life,

00:48:21.820 and there's no consensus.

00:48:26.580 This is the problem with the high part, 0.99

00:48:29.180 is you just start breaking shit down 0.98

00:48:31.860 like you're just thinking, and you go, 0.98

00:48:33.780 oh, I'm on a four-camera shoot right now,

00:48:36.340 and I'm just sitting here

00:48:38.900 doing what I'd be doing in my head.

00:48:41.540 Don't we have questions from the audience?

00:48:43.780 No, we do, actually.

00:48:44.700 Why don't we go to the... 1.00

00:48:45.520 Shit. 1.00

00:48:46.160 See, Doug, I am feeling high just sitting next to you right now. 1.00

00:48:48.820 I was sober when I walked in there.

00:48:51.200 Well, you guys almost killed your waters.

00:48:54.180 Yeah, we did almost kill the waters.

00:48:56.280 Absolutely.

00:48:57.300 There's one question.

00:48:58.360 So you had the dice, Clay.

00:49:00.200 Were you a Hicks fan, Bill Hicks?

00:49:01.720 Not till later on.

00:49:02.980 I had to be hipped to someone who knew Hicks.

00:49:06.640 Yeah.

00:49:06.840 so

00:49:07.560 yeah

00:49:08.240 later on

00:49:09.180 and

00:49:09.480 yeah

00:49:10.180 enjoyed

00:49:11.880 Hicks

00:49:13.040 yeah

00:49:13.640 but it was not 1.00

00:49:14.740 yeah it was this stupid shit 1.00

00:49:16.760 that got me into comedy 1.00

00:49:17.880 and who's your

00:49:18.720 do you watch comedy

00:49:19.960 who's your favorite

00:49:20.560 no

00:49:20.860 no you don't 1.00

00:49:21.400 fuck no 1.00

00:49:22.000 yeah 1.00

00:49:22.620 my favorite of all time

00:49:25.740 is David Tell

00:49:26.560 hands down

00:49:28.360 yeah

00:49:28.740 that's right

00:49:29.360 and it's weird to be

00:49:30.960 at an age

00:49:31.800 where you can

00:49:32.440 pull a superlative

00:49:33.640 when someone says

00:49:34.860 what's your favorite movie

00:49:36.180 or a song

00:49:36.960 I don't know 0.98

00:49:37.860 I'm fucking old 0.96

00:49:38.740 I had a million 0.99

00:49:39.820 favorite songs

00:49:40.760 and best friends

00:49:41.700 but best comic

00:49:43.320 yeah

00:49:44.380 hands down

00:49:46.280 Attell

00:49:46.980 Mitch Hedberg

00:49:48.220 second place

00:49:50.340 well you're gonna enjoy

00:49:51.500 Jerry Sadowitz

00:49:52.240 whenever you see him

00:49:53.140 in that case

00:49:53.540 yeah

00:49:53.960 but anyway man

00:49:54.780 we do have questions

00:49:55.880 from the audience

00:49:56.460 but before we do

00:49:57.400 we always end with

00:49:58.200 the same question

00:49:58.940 which is

00:50:00.040 complete free hit

00:50:00.900 which is

00:50:01.280 what is the one thing

00:50:02.200 that we're not talking about

00:50:03.260 that you think

00:50:03.880 really should be

00:50:04.640 well I think I

00:50:05.600 I addressed that earlier, the prison system.

00:50:09.400 Tell us more about that.

00:50:10.360 Why do you feel so strongly about it?

00:50:12.480 It hurts everyone.

00:50:15.080 It's one of those things I know, 1.00

00:50:18.360 this fucking comedy brain, 0.99

00:50:19.960 I know if I could attack that bit 1.00

00:50:24.160 from a conservative angle that makes conservatives,

00:50:28.560 MAGA people, feel a little bit emasculated for,

00:50:33.560 Like, why would you allow this?

00:50:35.580 Go, like, pro-anti-government, why would we?

00:50:39.460 Because prison just makes communities worse.

00:50:41.880 It makes everything worse.

00:50:43.260 There's nothing rehabilitative in it. 1.00

00:50:46.280 There's everything about it sucks. 0.99

00:50:48.200 That's the problem. 0.98

00:50:49.440 It's like, if I say,

00:50:51.600 tell me one song you want me to play right now, 0.97

00:50:54.940 and you go, well, I'm fuckin' an adult. 0.95

00:50:57.380 I've heard a million songs. 0.91

00:50:58.820 Like, what's the problem with prison? 1.00

00:51:01.260 Fuckin' everything. 0.99

00:51:03.240 And it makes society worse. 1.00

00:51:05.600 And you're proud to pay for it.

00:51:10.700 Do you think we shouldn't have prisons at all?

00:51:13.340 There's going to be a better idea. 0.99

00:51:15.880 There's fucking writers out of work that are comedy writers. 0.98

00:51:19.180 I don't know. 0.99

00:51:19.880 If I had the idea, I'd quit comedy.

00:51:21.720 If I could go full bore on this is a better idea.

00:51:27.180 You don't like prisons.

00:51:28.080 But almost everything.

00:51:29.300 and I don't know if

00:51:31.340 I grew up thinking

00:51:32.740 eventually I'm going to go to jail

00:51:34.720 and get diabetes

00:51:36.080 because those were threats.

00:51:38.620 You're going to keep eating candy 1.00

00:51:40.260 you're going to fucking get diabetes. 1.00

00:51:42.720 You're like a bullish prison 1.00

00:51:43.640 just in case you one day end up in it.

00:51:45.520 Yeah, with diabetes.

00:51:46.780 With diabetes.

00:51:47.900 You keep causing trouble

00:51:49.640 you're going to wind up in jail.

00:51:51.240 You keep eating candy 1.00

00:51:52.120 you're going to fucking wind up 1.00

00:51:53.120 with diabetes. 1.00

00:51:54.300 Yeah.

00:51:54.740 Now I'm terrified 0.99

00:51:56.480 of the fucking wrongly accused 0.99

00:51:58.940 Innocence Project. If I die on this tour, which every time I'm in the UK, I know I'm going to die 0.99

00:52:05.980 on this loneliest fucking planet, horrible place. But Innocence Project, that's where you send your 0.99

00:52:14.040 donations. All right. Well, you've just had an introduction to the wonderful mind of Doug

00:52:19.220 Stanhope. Doug, you're on tour at the moment. You're going to be doing stuff in Las Vegas,

00:52:23.080 I think. It's on your website. It's all on your website. Thanks so much for joining us. We're

00:52:28.580 going to ask you a couple of questions from our supporters thanks for watching oh we're going to 0.96

00:52:33.340 patreon oh yeah good i saved some fucking good shit hey non-patreon people i saved the good 0.92

00:52:41.320 shit for go ahead donate donate now no other guest has done that yeah yeah absolutely join 0.98

00:52:50.520 our locals we'll see you there with a couple of your questions for doug uh see you there thanks 0.97

00:52:54.580 for watching and we'll see you very soon we normally end it on a more professional oh my god 0.93

00:52:58.500 this no but what's gonna happen next exactly no one knows it's gonna be on locals fucking check 0.96

00:53:04.680 it out this is a question from icky ike who says how hard is it for you to perform sober 0.92

TRIGGERnometry - November 03, 2022

Doug Stanhope on Drugs, Drink & Comedy

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