TRIGGERnometry - From Hollywood to Homeless with Greg Ellis

00:00:00.540 My crazy but true harrowing tale, I guess, of how a father can be removed from his home in handcuffs, put in jail, forced through five incarcerations and permanently separated from his sons, all because of one false allegation.

00:00:15.940 In family law, there is no due process. There is no presumption of innocence. That the burden of proof should be on the accused rather than the accuser. We have a system of the Salem Witch Trials.

00:00:28.680 4,000 children every day lose a parent in family law courts in America.

00:00:35.180 And when you look at the states being incentivized, they get $6,000 for every child they place into foster care.

00:00:41.520 There are bonuses awarded if they move those children through to adoption.

00:00:45.780 We have to take the incentives away.

00:00:48.580 You know, we hear a lot about prenuptial agreements, but we don't hear anyone talking about prenuptial custody agreements.

00:00:54.480 We put more cachet on our material possessions and our financial estate than we do our children.

00:01:00.460 We need to look at these systems that are in place and really try to call out those on the other side who are incentivized and make all of the money,

00:01:09.040 the tens and tens of millions of pounds in the UK and dollars in America, to further their agenda,

00:01:16.740 which is to keep the money in family court and keep separating parents from their children.

00:01:24.480 Hello and welcome to Trigonometry.

00:01:35.300 I'm Francis Foster.

00:01:36.620 I'm Constantine Kissin.

00:01:37.680 And this is a show for you if you want honest conversations with fascinating people.

00:01:43.360 Our brilliant guest today is a best-selling author, TV director and Emmy-nominated actor, Greg Ellis.

00:01:48.840 Welcome to Trigonometry.

00:01:49.920 It's great to be here, chaps. How are you?

00:01:51.480 We're very well, mate. It's great to have you on the show.

00:01:55.300 Let's get straight into it.

00:01:56.800 You have a very interesting story to tell and in some ways a tragic one, I would say.

00:02:02.540 So tell everybody, how are you, where you are?

00:02:05.460 What's been your journey through life that leads you to be sitting here talking to us?

00:02:09.440 Gosh, that's a great, profound question.

00:02:11.600 Well, I was raised and toughened, I guess, in the seaside fish and chip shops and smoky video game arcades

00:02:17.380 of rough and tumble Southport in Northwest England, mastered the Rubik's Cube at 12,

00:02:24.020 held the record for Pac-Man at 13, and then at 14, 15, did a West End musical.

00:02:32.100 And, you know, my journey through the entertainment business, four decades in the entertainment business,

00:02:36.700 has included acting, voiceover.

00:02:39.780 I've done over 130 video games, cartoon, animation, directing, producing, and then authoring three books.

00:02:48.500 And my third book, The Respondent, was born out of a personal situation, a personal tragedy, 2015, March 5th.

00:02:56.180 My crazy but true harrowing tale, I guess, of how a father can be removed from his home in handcuffs,

00:03:02.880 put in jail, forced through five incarcerations, and permanently separated from his sons,

00:03:09.840 all because of one false allegation.

00:03:12.100 So in essence, what I call the cartel of family law,

00:03:14.960 my book, The Respondent, exposing the cartel of family law,

00:03:18.880 showed up on my doorstep on March 5th,

00:03:21.620 stole my freedom, kidnapped my children, or father napped me.

00:03:24.980 And in essence, destroyed or murdered my family.

00:03:27.760 And it sounds like a Hollywood movie trailer for a psychological thriller,

00:03:30.600 but it's not.

00:03:31.960 It's real life.

00:03:33.020 And what I discovered through my journey,

00:03:35.460 through my dystopian Kafka trap journey through family law,

00:03:39.200 was that it's happened to me,

00:03:41.140 and it's been happening to hundreds of thousands of people for decades,

00:03:44.380 decent law-abiding citizens across America, the UK, Australia, South America, Canada,

00:03:49.300 and judges, attorneys, state bar associations,

00:03:53.620 mediators, psychologists,

00:03:54.760 none of them want their dirty little secret to get out,

00:03:57.500 which in America here, it's a $100 billion a year industry.

00:04:00.820 So that really is the kind of grounding place for therespondent.com,

00:04:05.600 my book, my show, The Respondent,

00:04:09.000 the movie that we're going to be making,

00:04:11.060 the documentary series we've started making,

00:04:13.440 to just really have an impact and maybe improve the system

00:04:15.860 that doesn't afford a presumption of innocence

00:04:17.760 in the one area of our legal system

00:04:19.700 that really should have it first and primarily,

00:04:22.320 and that's family law.

00:04:24.200 And the fascinating thing about it was,

00:04:27.120 and I said tragic as well,

00:04:28.660 is when I was reading it,

00:04:29.740 I became a father for the first time like six months ago.

00:04:32.820 I cannot imagine that pain

00:04:35.060 that you had to deal with being separated from your children.

00:04:39.440 And that's just one aspect of it.

00:04:41.580 I mean, your credits were Pirates of the Caribbean, Titanic.

00:04:44.520 You worked on some huge things

00:04:47.160 and you are defenestrated in public too,

00:04:51.080 in prison, et cetera, et cetera, or incarcerated.

00:04:55.220 You know, just tell us more about,

00:04:58.400 first of all, how did that happen?

00:04:59.860 Like, what was it like?

00:05:01.080 What happened?

00:05:02.860 Yeah, I was at home.

00:05:03.860 I'd actually taken the afternoon off.

00:05:05.560 It was a Thursday.

00:05:06.540 I was reading books for my sons

00:05:09.240 in the playroom of my house in Hollywood.

00:05:12.860 And the doorbell rang.

00:05:14.880 And it was that simple.

00:05:15.900 The doorbell rang.

00:05:17.160 And I walked down the stairs.

00:05:18.420 I told my boys I'd be back up.

00:05:19.860 We had a little puppy at the time.

00:05:21.080 And I opened the door.

00:05:21.920 And little did I know that

00:05:22.800 that would be the last time

00:05:23.840 that I would open the door in my own house.

00:05:26.660 And what had happened was

00:05:28.560 it was a 10-word false allegation that was made

00:05:31.020 on an anonymous hotline,

00:05:34.300 which I've since discovered this tactic

00:05:36.980 of what's called the quote-unquote welfare check

00:05:39.880 is what's used across America.

00:05:41.800 Anyone can call anonymously and say,

00:05:45.600 by hearsay,

00:05:46.780 that someone has threatened to take their own life

00:05:48.740 or they're threatening to hurt themselves

00:05:50.560 or their children.

00:05:51.660 And the police not only are legally bound to show up,

00:05:54.400 they're legally bound without a warrant

00:05:55.960 to enter the home

00:05:57.260 and violate privacy and due process rights.

00:06:00.240 There were no Miranda rights, nothing.

00:06:02.420 And so that was the beginning of my dystopian odyssey,

00:06:06.440 if you will,

00:06:07.200 of how I was handcuffed,

00:06:09.320 removed from my home,

00:06:11.440 incarcerated,

00:06:12.820 the sudden and shocking removal

00:06:14.460 from everything in my life,

00:06:15.800 my livelihood,

00:06:18.080 my money,

00:06:19.860 my car,

00:06:20.900 I didn't even have a phone.

00:06:22.500 And within the space of a few hours,

00:06:25.240 I became homeless and almost destitute.

00:06:28.160 And my entire life was turned upside down.

00:06:31.740 I was very grateful that a few people,

00:06:33.660 you know,

00:06:34.480 stuck in there and helped me through that journey

00:06:38.820 because it was psychologically,

00:06:40.740 physically and emotionally just terrifying.

00:06:43.660 It was like living on the edge of existential angst,

00:06:45.960 really.

00:06:46.840 And,

00:06:47.200 you know,

00:06:47.860 I talk about this on my show,

00:06:49.040 the living grief of alienation from one's own children

00:06:52.300 when they are the meaning of your life

00:06:54.040 and you love them so much

00:06:55.780 and you are so connected to them

00:06:57.540 and you would die for them

00:06:59.320 and to suddenly and shockingly be removed

00:07:01.160 and deal with that pain.

00:07:02.220 And also,

00:07:03.180 I think the pain of knowing that your sons

00:07:04.880 or your children or your daughter

00:07:06.040 are removed from their connectivity

00:07:08.820 to the meaning of their life,

00:07:11.000 their parent,

00:07:11.640 particularly such an emotionally connected parent as I was.

00:07:14.540 And Greg,

00:07:15.860 what were these 10 words

00:07:17.140 that made up the accusation?

00:07:21.180 Am I allowed to swear?

00:07:22.720 Yes.

00:07:23.200 You're allowed to say whatever you want.

00:07:24.620 Oh, great.

00:07:25.260 The 10 words were, 1.00

00:07:26.840 I'm sick of this shit. 1.00

00:07:29.560 I'm gonna harm the children. 1.00

00:07:32.300 And they were the 10 words 0.97

00:07:33.260 that were reported to the police

00:07:34.580 that I had reported allegedly said,

00:07:36.520 which I hadn't.

00:07:37.120 I would never say those words.

00:07:38.300 And even if I did,

00:07:39.000 I wouldn't say them that way.

00:07:41.220 And those 10 words became the kind of the gateway.

00:07:44.540 To, you know,

00:07:45.220 welcome to family law.

00:07:46.260 And I thought as well,

00:07:47.400 those 10,

00:07:48.200 after I was incarcerated

00:07:50.440 and this went to court

00:07:52.520 and I entered the legal system,

00:07:54.320 I ignorantly thought

00:07:55.580 that I would get some justice.

00:07:57.520 Finally,

00:07:58.440 you know,

00:07:58.720 the establishment of justice

00:07:59.960 would provide some fairness.

00:08:01.620 And what I found was

00:08:02.600 it was the Star Chamber.

00:08:04.400 It was the wild west of family law.

00:08:06.920 What do you mean by that?

00:08:08.260 The wild west of family law?

00:08:09.600 Because I've had friends actually

00:08:11.540 who've been in similar situations to you,

00:08:13.580 not as extreme,

00:08:14.400 but certainly similar.

00:08:15.860 And you're using terms

00:08:17.120 like wild west of family law.

00:08:18.860 There's a few people

00:08:20.000 who are probably thinking,

00:08:21.380 I don't know what that means.

00:08:22.260 So just explain it to us,

00:08:23.320 please, Greg.

00:08:24.400 Sure.

00:08:24.880 So, you know,

00:08:26.100 in family law,

00:08:28.320 there is no due process.

00:08:30.440 There is no presumption of innocence.

00:08:33.680 Parents are found guilty

00:08:35.580 to all proven innocent

00:08:36.640 or usually guilty

00:08:38.100 to all proven more guilty,

00:08:39.480 particularly fathers.

00:08:40.680 It happens to mothers as well. 1.00

00:08:43.280 And criminals get more rights

00:08:45.200 than children and parents,

00:08:46.520 terrorists, 0.70

00:08:47.040 murderers, 1.00

00:08:47.800 pedophiles. 0.99

00:08:48.920 So if we have a legal system

00:08:50.900 that doesn't afford due process, 0.91

00:08:53.140 that says that the burden of proof

00:08:55.380 should be on the accused

00:08:56.680 rather than the accuser,

00:08:58.420 we have a system

00:08:59.340 of the Salem Witch Trials

00:09:00.720 and the Spanish Inquisition

00:09:01.920 in 2022.

00:09:02.980 So how did that play out

00:09:05.880 in your case, Greg?

00:09:06.760 Because I think that,

00:09:08.400 forgive me,

00:09:09.400 but for someone

00:09:09.960 from your perspective

00:09:12.020 with your experiences,

00:09:13.460 to put it mildly,

00:09:14.920 to you,

00:09:15.440 you kind of get all this.

00:09:16.780 But I think the average person,

00:09:18.340 and I include myself

00:09:19.180 in this, by the way,

00:09:20.240 we're all walking around 0.97

00:09:21.160 with absolutely no fucking idea 0.99

00:09:23.000 what you're talking about. 0.99

00:09:24.280 I genuinely think that, right?

00:09:26.800 Yeah.

00:09:27.620 So people come to your home

00:09:29.840 because your now ex-wife 1.00

00:09:31.480 has made this false allegation

00:09:33.400 against you.

00:09:35.800 The police take you away.

00:09:37.880 What happened?

00:09:38.740 How does the whole system work?

00:09:41.240 Well, basically,

00:09:42.120 what happened with me is,

00:09:44.120 and first of all,

00:09:45.020 I want to say,

00:09:45.600 yes, absolutely, I agree.

00:09:47.040 I had no idea.

00:09:48.000 And I say this to my,

00:09:49.000 you know,

00:09:49.160 I founded a charity,

00:09:50.240 CPU, Children and Parents United,

00:09:51.760 and I say to my team

00:09:52.820 and the volunteers

00:09:54.000 who work with me

00:09:54.740 on the respondent movement

00:09:56.100 that we have to get

00:09:58.080 the message out

00:09:59.040 to the people who,

00:10:00.320 the versions of us

00:10:01.180 before we got hit

00:10:03.120 by this system.

00:10:04.700 The people who don't really,

00:10:06.220 I didn't really know

00:10:07.100 and I didn't really care

00:10:07.920 because I didn't know.

00:10:09.200 Three days before it happened to me

00:10:10.780 on March 2nd,

00:10:11.600 I was putting my boys to sleep

00:10:13.100 as I did every night.

00:10:14.860 And my eldest said,

00:10:15.860 you know,

00:10:16.120 so-and-so at school's parents

00:10:17.400 are getting divorced.

00:10:18.740 You'll never get divorced,

00:10:19.960 will you, daddy?

00:10:20.440 And I said,

00:10:20.800 no, of course not.

00:10:21.580 I mean,

00:10:21.740 it was 20 years I was mad.

00:10:23.080 Never expected,

00:10:24.200 blindsided.

00:10:24.980 But in terms of

00:10:27.380 the question,

00:10:29.020 which I forget

00:10:29.760 because I went off

00:10:30.740 on a tangent,

00:10:31.800 what was the question?

00:10:32.940 The question was,

00:10:34.320 once the police

00:10:35.580 are at your door,

00:10:36.340 Oh, that's right.

00:10:37.300 Yeah.

00:10:37.500 They take you away.

00:10:38.860 And what,

00:10:39.360 because this is my point,

00:10:40.320 is I don't think

00:10:41.320 anyone really knows

00:10:42.360 what that,

00:10:43.140 what happens then.

00:10:44.160 You talk about

00:10:44.980 lack of due process

00:10:46.180 and these are all

00:10:47.020 legalistic terms.

00:10:48.620 Yeah.

00:10:48.880 Like, what happens?

00:10:50.300 So basically,

00:10:51.040 the reason why

00:10:51.820 they can get away

00:10:52.540 with doing this

00:10:53.120 is number one,

00:10:53.840 it's a welfare check.

00:10:55.040 It's, in essence,

00:10:56.080 it's a fake welfare check

00:10:57.740 that's called in anonymously.

00:10:59.520 The police arrive.

00:11:00.820 They know they're

00:11:01.520 entering the home

00:11:02.200 regardless of what

00:11:03.220 you say or do.

00:11:04.240 And I helped,

00:11:04.800 I was stood at the

00:11:05.660 threshold of my home

00:11:06.560 for about 90 minutes

00:11:08.120 trying to have

00:11:08.700 a polite conversation

00:11:09.640 with these two

00:11:10.280 police officers

00:11:10.920 that became

00:11:11.440 three, four, five

00:11:12.860 and eventually

00:11:13.440 a garrison

00:11:14.420 and they entered

00:11:15.100 the home.

00:11:15.700 Then the smart team,

00:11:17.400 the psychological

00:11:18.380 Gestapo

00:11:19.100 of the social workers

00:11:20.340 in California

00:11:21.120 came to interview me

00:11:22.740 and determine

00:11:23.400 not knowing me,

00:11:24.760 not knowing my history,

00:11:26.160 whether I was of sound

00:11:27.940 mind and body.

00:11:29.760 And that was while

00:11:30.580 I was in handcuffs

00:11:31.460 with the curtains

00:11:32.960 wide open

00:11:33.540 and all the lights

00:11:34.220 blaring so all the

00:11:35.140 neighbours walking by

00:11:36.060 and looking in.

00:11:37.560 Then I was removed

00:11:38.700 in the back of

00:11:39.480 a unmarked police car

00:11:41.520 with my 10-year-old son

00:11:43.880 looking down

00:11:44.480 from the bedroom

00:11:45.060 window seeing his

00:11:46.000 father being dragged

00:11:47.320 away in handcuffs

00:11:48.120 for the last time

00:11:49.000 that I would be at home.

00:11:50.800 I was taken to

00:11:52.240 UCLA Regan Medical Center

00:11:55.100 which is like hospital.

00:11:57.420 No one was given,

00:11:58.280 no one gave me any

00:11:58.940 information as to

00:11:59.660 what was going on.

00:12:00.440 I kept asking.

00:12:01.580 It was a harrowing ride.

00:12:02.860 I was forced to do

00:12:04.000 a drug test

00:12:04.700 which was negative.

00:12:06.040 I remember looking

00:12:06.780 in the mirror

00:12:07.260 of the hospital restroom

00:12:08.700 and just I was so

00:12:09.960 overcome.

00:12:11.320 I guess

00:12:12.020 that I collapsed

00:12:13.020 and I'm lying

00:12:13.700 in a pool of blood

00:12:14.420 on the floor

00:12:14.980 and then I got

00:12:17.120 re-transported

00:12:19.400 by the smart team

00:12:20.580 the back of the hospital

00:12:22.380 to these two

00:12:23.700 big burly men

00:12:25.920 who handcuffed me

00:12:27.720 into a gurney

00:12:28.380 and put me in the back

00:12:29.120 of what I call

00:12:30.420 an ambulatory hearse

00:12:31.600 but it was just

00:12:32.080 another kind of ambulance

00:12:33.120 that wasn't connected

00:12:33.820 to the hotel

00:12:34.440 to the hospital

00:12:35.660 and the doors

00:12:37.760 were slammed

00:12:38.200 and then for the next

00:12:39.120 I guess it was

00:12:40.040 about 75 minutes

00:12:41.380 in the dark

00:12:42.180 I was just lying there

00:12:43.900 in a gown

00:12:44.580 handcuffed to a gurney

00:12:46.460 not knowing

00:12:47.560 why I was there

00:12:48.780 where I was going

00:12:50.120 and what would happen

00:12:51.260 and then

00:12:53.200 I mean I could go

00:12:54.400 through the whole story

00:12:55.200 but it's in the book

00:12:56.000 but then

00:12:58.620 you realise

00:13:00.480 you know

00:13:00.880 I look back

00:13:01.520 I wasn't

00:13:02.060 I've never been arrested

00:13:03.160 so it's a detainment

00:13:04.540 it's a legal detainment

00:13:05.800 and they can determine

00:13:07.120 whether you go

00:13:07.640 it's called a 51-50 hold

00:13:09.420 which is three days

00:13:11.400 and you get

00:13:12.980 you get incarcerated

00:13:14.000 you get put away

00:13:14.980 in a psychiatric hospital

00:13:16.800 and people who know

00:13:17.960 nothing about

00:13:18.640 I'm terrified Greg

00:13:19.260 this can literally

00:13:20.120 happen to anybody

00:13:21.260 you can be taken

00:13:22.580 because of

00:13:23.540 an allegation

00:13:24.480 made anonymously

00:13:25.560 by telephone

00:13:26.440 and overnight

00:13:27.620 your life

00:13:28.760 literally changes

00:13:29.860 you're put in handcuffs

00:13:31.240 and you can be detained

00:13:32.640 in a psychiatric unit

00:13:34.300 correct

00:13:35.660 and it was

00:13:38.120 so it's three days initially

00:13:40.300 now that's if

00:13:41.820 that's if

00:13:42.540 you are calm

00:13:44.020 and compliant

00:13:44.760 like I was

00:13:45.600 you know

00:13:46.600 in that conflict situation

00:13:48.160 where law enforcement

00:13:49.300 are entering your home

00:13:50.440 violating your privacy

00:13:51.660 you could be doing anything

00:13:53.340 it's your own home

00:13:54.480 so the forced conflict

00:13:56.780 of the welfare check

00:13:57.860 can cause people

00:13:59.020 to be agitated

00:13:59.820 frustrated

00:14:00.260 sometimes people get violent

00:14:01.780 so some people

00:14:02.800 can get arrested

00:14:03.440 and they can just

00:14:04.380 get put in the system

00:14:05.320 and it can ruin their life

00:14:06.440 well in my situation

00:14:07.660 it was three days

00:14:08.520 but then three days

00:14:09.440 became 14

00:14:10.360 because my ex-wife 1.00

00:14:12.280 and mother-in-law came 1.00

00:14:13.380 and they talked

00:14:14.920 with the doctors

00:14:15.600 and the psychiatrist

00:14:17.920 said after a conversation

00:14:19.120 with them

00:14:19.560 we've decided

00:14:20.140 to extend your stay

00:14:21.360 to 14 days

00:14:22.140 that's when I started

00:14:23.020 to get

00:14:23.400 what's my plan

00:14:25.660 to get out of here

00:14:26.720 how can I get

00:14:27.280 my freedom back

00:14:28.100 because I'm stuck

00:14:28.740 in this psychiatric hospital

00:14:30.940 and

00:14:32.720 what reason

00:14:34.060 did they give you Greg

00:14:34.980 for being stuck

00:14:35.680 in that psychiatric hospital

00:14:37.160 did they diagnose you

00:14:38.440 with anything

00:14:38.940 did they say

00:14:39.520 you had some type

00:14:40.200 of personality disorder

00:14:41.380 no they don't have

00:14:42.300 to give you a reason

00:14:42.820 they don't have to give you

00:14:43.940 any reason whatsoever

00:14:44.980 and no there was

00:14:47.020 no diagnosis

00:14:47.720 I mean I actually

00:14:48.660 in my book

00:14:49.320 I put this two

00:14:50.720 psychological evaluations

00:14:51.920 by a psychiatrist

00:14:52.840 that the court

00:14:53.720 ordered me to go through

00:14:55.340 independent evaluations

00:14:57.340 I actually published

00:14:58.180 them in my book

00:14:58.800 one from 2015

00:14:59.880 and one from 2019

00:15:01.200 so that it would be

00:15:02.520 fully transparent

00:15:03.480 that I was not

00:15:04.940 psychologically disturbed

00:15:06.180 I am not a mentally

00:15:07.320 imbalanced person

00:15:08.260 in fact part of my work

00:15:09.440 is to help people

00:15:10.120 going through this

00:15:11.000 who are having

00:15:11.860 psychological and mental

00:15:13.060 health challenges

00:15:13.880 Broadway's smash hit

00:15:16.120 the Neil Diamond musical

00:15:17.420 A Beautiful Noise

00:15:18.780 is coming to Toronto

00:15:20.280 the true story

00:15:21.320 of a kid from Brooklyn

00:15:22.380 destined for something more

00:15:23.920 featuring all the songs

00:15:25.060 you love

00:15:25.700 including America

00:15:26.800 Forever in Blue Jeans

00:15:28.140 and Sweet Caroline

00:15:29.340 like Jersey Boys 0.86

00:15:30.780 and Beautiful

00:15:31.400 the next musical

00:15:32.560 mega hit is here

00:15:33.700 the Neil Diamond musical

00:15:35.200 A Beautiful Noise

00:15:36.520 now through June 7th

00:15:37.880 2026

00:15:38.680 at the Princess of Wales Theatre

00:15:40.540 get tickets at

00:15:41.520 Mervish.com

00:15:42.660 so that happens

00:15:47.000 what happens after that

00:15:48.180 you're in there

00:15:49.200 for 14 days

00:15:50.200 obviously you're not

00:15:51.200 in a good state

00:15:51.920 you're not in a positive

00:15:53.400 frame of mind

00:15:54.280 I can imagine

00:15:55.340 to say the least

00:15:55.980 yeah

00:15:56.260 if anything's going to

00:15:59.000 induce some kind of

00:16:00.340 negative psychological state

00:16:03.300 it's the experiences

00:16:04.760 that you've been put through

00:16:05.820 exactly

00:16:06.740 and just to clarify

00:16:07.560 I wasn't in there

00:16:08.240 for 14 days

00:16:08.760 extended my stay to 14 days

00:16:10.540 I managed to get out

00:16:11.600 after 6 days

00:16:12.340 so not going through

00:16:13.280 all the stories

00:16:13.940 that are in the book

00:16:14.880 or deep diving

00:16:16.060 in essence what happened

00:16:17.520 was there was a very

00:16:18.780 friendly nurse

00:16:19.680 that I managed to speak to

00:16:21.600 and she gave me

00:16:22.360 the kind of pathway out

00:16:24.040 two options

00:16:24.660 you can apply to

00:16:25.460 have a hearing

00:16:25.900 in front of a judge

00:16:26.640 that could take two weeks

00:16:27.800 etc etc

00:16:28.500 or an immediate hearing

00:16:30.060 so I had an immediate hearing

00:16:31.600 and it was basically

00:16:34.000 just like sitting with

00:16:35.220 you know

00:16:35.680 communist China really

00:16:37.980 because they'd already

00:16:38.680 determined that they

00:16:39.520 were going to keep me there

00:16:40.400 the social worker

00:16:42.280 who was part of

00:16:42.940 the psychiatric facility

00:16:46.120 just repeated the words

00:16:48.480 that I was reported

00:16:49.740 to have said

00:16:50.600 which were anonymously said

00:16:52.140 as a false allegation

00:16:53.340 but I made a decent enough case

00:16:56.880 that I was told

00:16:57.460 if I could find an address

00:16:58.680 they would let me out

00:17:00.040 and of course then

00:17:00.920 I had no money

00:17:02.320 to make a phone call

00:17:03.300 I didn't have access to money

00:17:04.860 I didn't have a phone

00:17:05.680 there was one pay phone

00:17:06.800 thankfully the patients there

00:17:08.300 actually had a whip round

00:17:09.720 because the doctors

00:17:10.780 would do these classes

00:17:11.660 and then I would do

00:17:12.660 I'd talk and

00:17:13.800 try and help

00:17:15.080 some of the patients there

00:17:16.020 while I was inside

00:17:16.700 to find something positive

00:17:17.860 and productive

00:17:18.460 from being in there

00:17:19.300 so I managed to

00:17:20.560 I mean look

00:17:21.220 the phone calls I made

00:17:22.360 I didn't have

00:17:24.260 a phone number

00:17:25.620 so I had these coins

00:17:27.000 and there was a pay phone

00:17:27.940 and I'm thinking

00:17:29.100 well

00:17:29.340 I don't have a phone number

00:17:30.900 to call

00:17:31.420 so my ex-wife 1.00

00:17:34.280 inadvertently

00:17:34.920 and mistakenly

00:17:35.620 had brought a script

00:17:36.360 because I was

00:17:37.600 at the time

00:17:38.520 looking at movies

00:17:39.200 to direct

00:17:39.800 and this script

00:17:40.840 had my agency phone number

00:17:42.200 at the bottom

00:17:42.680 and I was like

00:17:43.460 oh I'll call them

00:17:44.600 and it was late at night

00:17:45.480 and I spoke to

00:17:46.680 bless this assistant

00:17:47.700 I mean I spoke

00:17:48.780 I called the agency

00:17:49.720 spoke to him

00:17:50.400 and I convinced him

00:17:51.700 to go into my iCloud

00:17:53.800 and get

00:17:55.040 go get

00:17:55.620 find my contacts

00:17:56.580 and so I'm grabbing

00:17:57.860 a pencil

00:17:58.440 a piece of paper

00:17:59.380 and I'm literally

00:18:00.060 scribbling down

00:18:00.880 while the money's

00:18:01.560 running out

00:18:01.980 on one phone

00:18:02.700 to get phone numbers

00:18:03.900 then I start

00:18:04.560 the phone calls

00:18:05.320 to a few people

00:18:06.200 and there were

00:18:07.120 two pay phones

00:18:08.520 so I'm just

00:18:09.020 kind of juggling one

00:18:10.100 and hang on

00:18:10.760 so and so's calling

00:18:11.860 and I must have 0.69

00:18:13.200 sounded absolutely nuts

00:18:15.060 as people are

00:18:16.040 picking up the phone

00:18:16.740 that haven't heard

00:18:17.400 from me in a week

00:18:18.400 and I'm going

00:18:19.220 there's false

00:18:20.520 litigation

00:18:20.860 I've been

00:18:21.180 I'm in a psychiatric

00:18:22.420 I mean that's what

00:18:23.160 it does to you

00:18:23.640 to your point

00:18:24.100 it just

00:18:24.580 it makes you

00:18:25.380 nuts

00:18:26.500 wow

00:18:27.740 wow

00:18:28.220 so

00:18:28.920 I mean

00:18:30.060 to me

00:18:32.320 that is

00:18:32.840 that's like you say

00:18:34.100 it's something

00:18:34.600 out of a dystopian thriller

00:18:36.040 so how do you

00:18:37.880 get out of that

00:18:38.640 impossible situation

00:18:40.040 that you find yourself in

00:18:41.360 well it's

00:18:42.140 you know

00:18:42.420 the book

00:18:43.260 kind of

00:18:44.260 really goes into

00:18:45.860 detail on that

00:18:46.620 but you know

00:18:47.100 to give you

00:18:47.620 an idea of how

00:18:48.980 I eventually managed

00:18:50.460 to get out of that

00:18:51.460 that facility

00:18:53.220 or hospital

00:18:54.020 and

00:18:55.280 that was after

00:18:56.960 six days

00:18:57.700 and

00:18:58.880 and then of course

00:19:00.840 how did your friends react

00:19:01.980 because this is one thing

00:19:03.140 that I always think about

00:19:04.080 in this situation

00:19:04.820 because

00:19:05.280 look

00:19:06.080 if Francis

00:19:07.180 or our producer

00:19:08.000 Anton calls me up

00:19:09.140 I'm like

00:19:09.480 I know these guys

00:19:10.380 so well

00:19:11.000 like whatever

00:19:11.840 but a more distant

00:19:13.480 friendship

00:19:14.000 you're going

00:19:14.560 well

00:19:14.880 how do I know

00:19:15.760 what's happened

00:19:16.260 you know

00:19:16.760 you're telling me

00:19:17.500 it's a false allegation

00:19:18.520 I wasn't there

00:19:19.300 maybe you are about

00:19:20.800 to you know 1.00

00:19:21.300 murder your children 1.00

00:19:22.240 I don't want to be 1.00

00:19:22.880 giving you a

00:19:23.520 I don't want to be

00:19:24.460 putting you in the

00:19:25.040 spare bedroom

00:19:25.580 next to my kids

00:19:26.480 well that's the thing

00:19:28.060 is that you don't

00:19:28.840 you don't get the opportunity

00:19:29.880 to tell people

00:19:30.860 when you're locked away

00:19:32.100 and have no access

00:19:33.020 and communication

00:19:33.700 to the outside world

00:19:34.840 is completely

00:19:35.440 and utterly shut down

00:19:36.520 I mean I came out

00:19:37.200 after six days

00:19:37.980 and I was

00:19:39.200 I went to a neighbor's home

00:19:41.800 who agreed to let me stay

00:19:42.980 and I stayed

00:19:43.560 and as I left

00:19:44.360 it was like

00:19:44.960 well I didn't even leave

00:19:46.500 I was on the phone

00:19:47.340 to my ex-wife 0.99

00:19:48.100 and it was a ruse

00:19:48.820 to keep me on the phone

00:19:49.660 unbeknownst to me

00:19:50.940 there were like

00:19:51.380 10 or 12 police officers

00:19:53.000 outside

00:19:53.580 as if I was

00:19:54.460 some kind of

00:19:54.960 international terrorist

00:19:55.960 banging at the door

00:19:57.320 I opened the door

00:19:57.960 I get dragged out

00:19:59.340 handcuffed again

00:20:00.280 my mother-in-law

00:20:01.960 at the time

00:20:03.200 marched down the street

00:20:04.880 my street

00:20:05.700 where my house

00:20:06.260 was down the road

00:20:06.960 and served me

00:20:07.840 a restraining order

00:20:08.800 and I walked

00:20:10.480 into homelessness

00:20:11.120 and there was

00:20:14.100 a slight twist there

00:20:15.340 in terms of

00:20:15.940 I was handcuffed

00:20:16.700 and I think

00:20:17.200 they were going

00:20:17.600 to take me away

00:20:18.640 because I had

00:20:19.220 one of those

00:20:19.720 the sergeant

00:20:20.760 was one of those

00:20:21.920 sergeants

00:20:22.460 you know what I mean

00:20:23.160 and this big

00:20:26.880 6 foot 3

00:20:28.180 hulking massive 0.99

00:20:29.260 black man 0.99

00:20:29.840 stepped out

00:20:30.340 from the bushes

00:20:30.900 and said

00:20:31.300 sergeant

00:20:31.660 can I talk to you

00:20:32.480 and I was like

00:20:33.520 what's going on

00:20:34.200 and they had

00:20:35.120 a couple of minutes

00:20:35.700 chat

00:20:36.080 and then the sergeant

00:20:36.860 came back

00:20:37.300 and released me

00:20:38.000 and I walked

00:20:38.540 into homelessness

00:20:39.160 and this guy

00:20:40.520 sort of

00:20:40.980 lumbers down the street

00:20:42.040 and said

00:20:42.260 someone's looking out

00:20:43.060 for you

00:20:43.400 they've been watching you

00:20:45.080 you have to come

00:20:46.260 with me

00:20:46.660 and I was so in a daze

00:20:48.620 I kept walking

00:20:49.800 I was always thinking

00:20:50.960 about park bench

00:20:51.940 oh my god

00:20:52.460 I'm here

00:20:52.880 I'd worn the same

00:20:54.280 clothes for 6 days

00:20:55.340 I didn't have a phone

00:20:56.700 I didn't have money

00:20:57.700 I didn't have

00:20:58.900 credit cards

00:21:00.060 or a wallet

00:21:00.580 I didn't have a car

00:21:02.020 and I looked

00:21:04.040 smelled

00:21:04.700 and was

00:21:05.620 homeless

00:21:06.260 and I'm going

00:21:07.500 I'm

00:21:09.000 I'm going

00:21:10.120 to be

00:21:11.040 in sleeping

00:21:12.080 in

00:21:12.560 the streets

00:21:14.240 and this 0.64

00:21:15.740 black guy 0.98

00:21:16.780 said no you've got to 0.97

00:21:17.260 come with me

00:21:17.600 you've got to come

00:21:17.960 with me

00:21:18.220 and it turns out

00:21:19.040 that

00:21:20.380 I had one

00:21:21.860 I mean I had a few

00:21:22.900 friends that

00:21:23.660 stuck by me

00:21:24.840 because you know

00:21:25.200 you find out

00:21:25.840 who your friends are

00:21:26.460 integrity is earned

00:21:27.380 in turmoil

00:21:27.920 not merely asserted

00:21:28.880 in comfort

00:21:29.380 and

00:21:30.340 and it was

00:21:31.640 a wonderful

00:21:32.420 fellow

00:21:33.400 called Adam

00:21:34.720 Fogelson

00:21:35.180 who happened to be

00:21:36.840 at the time

00:21:38.140 the chairman of

00:21:38.920 Universal Studios

00:21:40.220 very

00:21:41.360 very powerful

00:21:42.160 fellow in Hollywood

00:21:43.000 but he knew

00:21:43.600 who I was

00:21:44.180 he knew my character

00:21:45.080 I'd known his

00:21:47.040 family for years

00:21:47.840 and taught his

00:21:48.340 daughter when she

00:21:49.060 was 5, 6, 7 years

00:21:50.180 old how to

00:21:50.800 we'd go over as a

00:21:52.860 family every Sunday

00:21:53.560 morning and

00:21:54.120 I'd teach her how to

00:21:55.380 play piano and

00:21:56.160 write songs and

00:21:57.120 perform and it was

00:21:58.140 just kind of like a

00:21:58.860 friendly family thing

00:21:59.800 and he

00:22:00.060 I arrived at his

00:22:01.660 his house around

00:22:02.580 5.30 in the morning

00:22:03.780 looking just a mess

00:22:05.260 and I think

00:22:07.000 he had

00:22:08.100 he had actually

00:22:08.700 employed a security

00:22:09.540 company to

00:22:10.400 to track the

00:22:12.200 police scanners

00:22:12.820 because they knew

00:22:14.260 at some point

00:22:14.880 I would find a

00:22:15.700 way to get out

00:22:16.420 and they also

00:22:16.980 knew that the

00:22:17.580 police and

00:22:18.400 what my ex-wife 1.00

00:22:19.360 and her

00:22:20.120 mother and

00:22:22.340 her mother's

00:22:23.000 ex-husband

00:22:23.640 who was a

00:22:24.060 federal marshal

00:22:24.840 and I mean

00:22:25.340 it was all

00:22:26.320 stacked against

00:22:27.060 me

00:22:27.440 they'd come

00:22:28.540 and get me

00:22:29.180 and I'd be

00:22:29.860 served and I

00:22:30.720 would be going

00:22:31.220 down whatever

00:22:32.380 way I'd go

00:22:33.600 down in the

00:22:34.160 Kafka trap

00:22:34.780 and he

00:22:36.460 he was able

00:22:37.280 actually his

00:22:37.700 wife was able 0.97

00:22:38.240 to negotiate

00:22:38.860 my wallet

00:22:40.320 and my

00:22:42.740 car

00:22:43.320 and phone

00:22:44.520 from my

00:22:45.560 ex-wife

00:22:46.060 because he

00:22:46.620 felt it was

00:22:47.180 just inhumane

00:22:48.720 to leave me

00:22:49.540 homeless

00:22:49.860 oh right

00:22:50.220 so she kept

00:22:51.140 hold of

00:22:51.760 literally your

00:22:52.600 card your

00:22:53.180 wallet all

00:22:53.840 the rest of

00:22:54.380 it so she

00:22:54.980 had possession

00:22:55.580 of it when

00:22:56.140 you were taken

00:22:56.660 away

00:22:57.020 yeah I had

00:22:58.160 nothing I

00:22:58.960 had absolutely

00:22:59.700 nothing

00:23:00.180 can I ask

00:23:01.000 you what I'm

00:23:01.780 sure is a

00:23:02.180 very unpleasant

00:23:02.720 question but

00:23:03.420 it's a question

00:23:03.940 that a lot of

00:23:04.560 people listening

00:23:05.100 to this will

00:23:05.660 be at some

00:23:08.200 level thinking

00:23:08.900 about when we're

00:23:09.760 having this

00:23:10.220 conversation

00:23:10.800 like you

00:23:12.560 know how

00:23:12.880 people are

00:23:13.440 there's no

00:23:13.860 smoke without

00:23:14.440 fire what

00:23:15.080 did you do

00:23:15.960 you know

00:23:16.560 because that's

00:23:17.260 how people

00:23:17.660 are right

00:23:18.060 people assume

00:23:18.860 that you

00:23:19.480 had so why

00:23:20.600 did your

00:23:20.920 ex-wife do 1.00

00:23:21.480 this so why

00:23:23.380 did your

00:23:23.700 ex-wife do 1.00

00:23:24.260 this

00:23:24.620 that's a

00:23:26.120 really good

00:23:26.820 and important

00:23:27.460 question as

00:23:28.180 well and as

00:23:28.700 much as I've

00:23:29.700 you know thought

00:23:30.360 this through

00:23:30.940 I think

00:23:32.960 she suffered

00:23:34.580 from panic

00:23:35.140 disorder she

00:23:35.720 was diagnosed

00:23:36.340 with panic

00:23:37.020 disorder it

00:23:38.420 was a it

00:23:39.300 would rear

00:23:39.800 its ugly 0.98

00:23:40.240 head 0.99

00:23:40.500 occasionally

00:23:41.040 and for

00:23:41.840 anyone who

00:23:42.440 has to

00:23:43.140 endure that

00:23:43.880 very painful

00:23:45.160 diagnosis

00:23:45.780 there's an

00:23:46.980 irrationality

00:23:48.020 about things

00:23:48.940 that come up

00:23:49.460 I remember

00:23:49.840 one time

00:23:50.400 taking her

00:23:50.880 to the

00:23:51.360 airport

00:23:51.700 and what

00:23:53.020 should have

00:23:53.300 been a

00:23:53.560 35 minute

00:23:54.220 drive took

00:23:54.820 two and a

00:23:55.200 half hours

00:23:55.640 and we never

00:23:55.980 made it to

00:23:56.400 the airport

00:23:56.940 you know

00:23:58.340 irritable bowel 0.56

00:23:59.160 syndrome

00:23:59.740 go home

00:24:01.740 there's the

00:24:02.260 irrational fear

00:24:03.100 so she I

00:24:04.020 know for a

00:24:04.540 fact that she'd

00:24:05.080 been off her

00:24:05.520 she'd not

00:24:06.420 taken her

00:24:06.880 medication

00:24:07.340 for a

00:24:07.760 while

00:24:08.040 and I

00:24:09.740 think and

00:24:10.460 she was out

00:24:10.880 of town

00:24:11.440 and I

00:24:12.400 think this

00:24:12.820 fear just

00:24:14.320 came up

00:24:14.860 instilled in

00:24:15.540 her from

00:24:16.680 maybe from a

00:24:17.440 few coincidental

00:24:18.500 events and

00:24:20.220 she she made

00:24:23.180 that that

00:24:23.760 call and you

00:24:26.680 know one of

00:24:27.080 the things that

00:24:27.640 I'm I'm really

00:24:28.520 clear about even

00:24:30.160 though even to

00:24:30.780 this day she

00:24:31.980 she's on a

00:24:34.420 mission to 0.58

00:24:35.100 to ruin me

00:24:35.960 seven and a

00:24:37.640 half years

00:24:38.500 later is

00:24:40.600 that I don't

00:24:41.200 have any

00:24:41.600 hatred towards

00:24:42.720 her for what

00:24:43.660 what she did

00:24:44.540 and what she

00:24:45.500 continued to

00:24:46.140 do you know

00:24:47.940 I say this a

00:24:49.220 lot you know

00:24:49.540 we forgive

00:24:49.940 others because

00:24:50.520 they sometimes

00:24:51.280 because they

00:24:51.960 not because they

00:24:52.940 deserve forgiveness

00:24:53.660 but we deserve

00:24:54.400 peace and

00:24:54.960 forgiveness is not

00:24:55.700 a line that we

00:24:56.140 take a road that

00:24:56.780 we cross it's

00:24:57.700 not necessarily I

00:24:58.480 forgive her

00:24:58.960 actions but she's 1.00

00:25:00.680 the mother of my

00:25:01.300 sons and you

00:25:03.700 know they will

00:25:04.540 eventually come

00:25:06.220 to realize after

00:25:07.260 their psyches were

00:25:08.300 split between mom

00:25:09.560 and dad and they

00:25:10.520 were told all these

00:25:11.500 horrific stories about

00:25:12.700 the dad that they

00:25:13.540 knew up until the

00:25:15.000 ages of eight and

00:25:15.700 ten that was a you

00:25:17.000 know a connected

00:25:17.900 loving playing

00:25:19.280 volunteering

00:25:21.200 emotionally

00:25:22.700 supportive dad

00:25:24.260 and then just got

00:25:25.280 eviscerated and I

00:25:26.280 think after the fact

00:25:27.280 look to be full

00:25:28.060 disclosure it's all

00:25:28.800 in the book you

00:25:29.420 know I don't paint

00:25:30.020 myself out to be

00:25:30.900 some kind of you

00:25:32.160 know a brilliant

00:25:33.220 husband I was a

00:25:35.560 brilliant father I

00:25:37.000 can say that without

00:25:38.080 hesitation I was a

00:25:39.540 brilliant and am a

00:25:40.620 brilliant father I

00:25:43.100 was a good husband

00:25:43.900 but I was a little

00:25:44.820 flawed and I think

00:25:46.880 after the fact what

00:25:48.160 compounded it was

00:25:50.480 that I disclosed and

00:25:55.100 in my book too that I

00:25:56.740 wasn't a faithful

00:25:57.660 husband and and that I

00:26:00.380 think probably

00:26:01.860 compounded or gave

00:26:03.080 reason for more

00:26:04.340 vengeance and revenge

00:26:06.760 and anger you know

00:26:08.200 so

00:26:08.820 and what was the

00:26:10.520 impact on the

00:26:11.280 children because this

00:26:12.920 I mean what they

00:26:15.520 must have been going

00:26:16.280 through must have been

00:26:17.560 absolutely awful

00:26:18.640 particularly at such a

00:26:19.760 tender and young age

00:26:21.000 yeah it's this is one of

00:26:23.640 the things I mean I

00:26:24.360 talk a lot about the

00:26:25.320 false allegation of

00:26:26.360 domestic violence which

00:26:27.540 is I call it the silver

00:26:29.040 bullet of high conflict

00:26:30.060 divorce and the magic

00:26:31.080 ballistics of family law

00:26:32.420 or family law war but

00:26:34.480 what they what what

00:26:35.440 children endure um even

00:26:37.960 when it's not so

00:26:38.820 acrimonious is parental

00:26:40.880 alienation and parental

00:26:42.580 alienation is is aka

00:26:44.420 child abuse it's also

00:26:46.360 known as turning the

00:26:47.380 children it's an umbrella

00:26:48.400 term um that details a

00:26:50.200 series of actions if you

00:26:51.280 will or behaviors with

00:26:52.880 the malicious intent to

00:26:54.100 have the children hate a

00:26:55.360 once beloved parent and

00:26:57.880 there are signs of that

00:26:59.220 isolation and gate

00:27:00.540 keeping and psychological

00:27:01.780 splitting um like the

00:27:04.040 presence of a prior

00:27:04.940 positive relationship

00:27:06.020 between the child and

00:27:06.960 the now rejected parent

00:27:08.140 there's uh you look at

00:27:09.940 the absence of

00:27:10.720 maltreatment or

00:27:11.720 seriously deficient

00:27:12.660 parenting on the part of

00:27:13.760 the now rejected parent

00:27:15.060 or the lack of

00:27:16.640 ambivalence in the

00:27:17.840 child's view or seeing

00:27:18.780 one parent is all good

00:27:20.320 and the other is all

00:27:21.840 bad um criticize i mean

00:27:24.080 simple things like

00:27:24.700 criticizing the the other

00:27:26.060 parent in in front of

00:27:27.400 the children or limiting

00:27:28.320 contact by interfering with

00:27:30.240 the other parents time if

00:27:32.420 there is a divorce or there

00:27:33.560 are two homes so this this

00:27:36.220 aspect of it this aspect of

00:27:38.240 the psychological a very

00:27:39.320 challenging aspect of any

00:27:41.180 divorce with with children

00:27:42.980 involved particularly minor

00:27:44.080 children but any children

00:27:45.060 is something that isn't

00:27:46.320 talked about in the uk

00:27:47.460 none of these are not

00:27:48.340 talked about it's a whole

00:27:49.280 like movement and

00:27:50.340 lobbying group of radical

00:27:52.260 feminists who who deny the 1.00

00:27:54.180 existence of parental

00:27:55.220 alienation who want to

00:27:56.500 bring laws through you know

00:27:57.880 i heard about a law a couple

00:27:59.060 of years ago maybe 18 months

00:28:00.360 ago i was going through the

00:28:01.080 house of lords that was um

00:28:02.740 domestic violence against

00:28:04.180 women and girls so it 1.00

00:28:05.520 wouldn't protect baby boys

00:28:06.940 or five-year-old boys or

00:28:08.620 men you know and the rates

00:28:10.360 of ip ipv intimate partner

00:28:12.320 violence are clear when you

00:28:13.380 look at the statistics it's

00:28:14.840 52 48 men on women and 0.81

00:28:17.760 58 52 women on men so 0.96

00:28:20.400 it's you were almost even

00:28:22.120 there you know domestic

00:28:23.160 violence uh and abuse has

00:28:25.520 no gender but we very rarely

00:28:27.160 talk about it with men

00:28:28.260 because or violence on men

00:28:30.000 because well men are kind

00:28:32.040 of devalued and expendable

00:28:34.260 for the most part smash the

00:28:36.140 patriarchy you know they're 0.99

00:28:37.660 toxic don't you think greg to 1.00

00:28:39.140 be fair as well is that we

00:28:40.560 you know we have you know

00:28:42.540 we can cause more damage to

00:28:43.940 women physically than they 0.99

00:28:45.020 can cause to us therefore

00:28:46.440 it's not taken as seriously

00:28:47.960 when a woman is physically 0.98

00:28:49.360 violent or abusive yeah i

00:28:51.440 absolutely agree i mean you

00:28:52.600 know relationship i was in

00:28:53.740 after my marriage you know

00:28:54.980 there was some uh physical

00:28:56.800 abuse uh connected i think

00:28:58.840 you know nikki crick did a 1.00

00:29:00.460 study at the minnesota

00:29:01.340 minnesota university on on

00:29:03.120 on behaviors and movements

00:29:04.720 towards quote-unquote

00:29:05.700 violence and yes men have a

00:29:07.080 tendency to move to violence

00:29:08.000 quickly and it's physical

00:29:09.680 and you know go any pub in

00:29:11.980 england or most pubs in

00:29:13.180 england on a friday night

00:29:14.200 and there might be when i

00:29:15.060 was when i was growing up

00:29:15.940 there'd be the fights and

00:29:17.300 then you know 10 minutes

00:29:18.280 later you could be sitting

00:29:19.180 at the at the at the bar

00:29:20.760 having a drink and getting

00:29:21.580 over it whereas what she

00:29:23.120 deemed she she actually

00:29:24.360 deemed the term reputation

00:29:25.760 savaging which is what i use

00:29:27.080 a lot i know other people

00:29:28.060 say reputation destroying

00:29:29.280 but she said women move 1.00

00:29:30.660 towards a a reputation

00:29:32.180 savaging of violence with

00:29:34.040 the words gossip the spoken

00:29:35.740 word the hint of gedanken

00:29:37.020 the thought in the back of

00:29:37.900 the mind that comes out

00:29:39.320 through um that gossiping

00:29:42.420 about someone and sharing

00:29:43.860 stories about people

00:29:45.160 that's not to say all women

00:29:46.460 don't want to be you know

00:29:47.620 yeah i mean the problem is

00:29:52.580 is that you then put the

00:29:53.900 court system which is not

00:29:56.160 only a drain emotionally but

00:29:57.920 it's also a drain financially

00:29:59.660 and listening to you and

00:30:02.220 reading your book this the

00:30:04.060 odds are stacked against men

00:30:05.520 they're fundamentally biased

00:30:07.020 aren't they yeah i mean

00:30:09.180 there's no two ways about

00:30:11.080 it if you are a man if you

00:30:12.820 are a father it's harder if

00:30:14.720 you're a father who's the

00:30:15.620 respondent in family law they

00:30:17.340 have you know what you what

00:30:18.480 you would call a petitioner and

00:30:20.540 a respondent the respondent's

00:30:22.080 really the defendant um if you

00:30:24.340 are a father respondent uh and

00:30:26.240 you become the respondent if you

00:30:27.380 don't file first and if you know

00:30:29.840 the petitioner files first and

00:30:32.040 gets um uh and is represented

00:30:34.340 retains an attorney you are

00:30:36.020 forced into what i call the

00:30:37.220 divorce trap where you will go 0.98

00:30:38.620 bankrupt you have no uh you no

00:30:41.860 ability to stop um it becomes

00:30:45.640 worse because you have two

00:30:46.740 attorneys who are trained to make

00:30:48.200 arguments against each other in

00:30:49.640 america you can't have one

00:30:50.680 attorney it's illegal to have one

00:30:52.020 attorney and two people uh come

00:30:54.520 together to to to negotiate

00:30:56.700 through uh and find settlement

00:30:58.700 that's why with my with my

00:31:00.200 charity you know we're looking

00:31:01.300 at things like we have a tech

00:31:02.940 team that's looking at an app

00:31:05.000 uh to bifurcate and shift the

00:31:07.300 jurisdiction away from family

00:31:09.300 law into contract law in essence

00:31:11.660 micro contracts along the way and

00:31:13.760 the pathway and the history of a

00:31:15.020 relationship that can that can

00:31:17.060 basically contract these mini

00:31:19.480 contracts along the way so that if

00:31:21.240 there is a fallout disagreement and

00:31:23.220 divorce is imminent it can be dealt

00:31:25.280 with in contract law as a business

00:31:27.000 rather than the wild west of family

00:31:29.340 law but look there's going to be

00:31:31.760 people listening to this going your

00:31:33.420 story is awful it's tragic no one

00:31:35.480 should have to go through that but

00:31:36.940 there are also cases and we witness

00:31:38.960 them all the time it happens in the

00:31:40.700 uk it happens in the states where a

00:31:43.480 dad for whatever reason has some

00:31:45.240 kind of psychological break kills a 0.86

00:31:47.500 wife kills the kids awful we hear

00:31:50.800 about them those stories all the time

00:31:52.860 do we not need to be extra cautious

00:31:56.620 in order to therefore protect and to

00:31:59.160 ensure that that event doesn't

00:32:00.680 happen in order to protect the lives

00:32:02.620 of children yeah we absolutely do

00:32:04.680 well absolutely absolutely we do and

00:32:07.080 we also have to hear about that when

00:32:09.120 it's mothers who do that and there are 0.79

00:32:11.120 many stories they're not in the news as

00:32:12.980 much when mothers do that human 1.00

00:32:15.140 beings parents have pressure everyone's

00:32:17.520 struggling with something and many

00:32:18.600 people live in lives of quiet

00:32:19.740 desperation and when that happens the

00:32:22.240 we need to be aware and the legal

00:32:24.380 system look i have i have someone who

00:32:27.280 works with my charity 22 years ago was

00:32:29.680 was falsely accused and sat in court and

00:32:32.080 held his wrists up to the judge and

00:32:33.540 said your honor please arrest me have

00:32:35.740 the bailist bailiff arrest me and charge

00:32:38.240 me with a criminal offense and the judge

00:32:40.320 said are you crazy and what he went on 0.84

00:32:42.380 to explain was he gets more rights as a 0.98

00:32:44.940 criminal he wanted to be arrested he

00:32:47.180 wanted to have the right to have an

00:32:48.800 attorney domestic violence should be 0.99

00:32:51.020 tried in criminal courts an extremely

00:32:53.040 serious offense and the allegation of

00:32:55.600 which should be taken seriously but

00:32:57.180 just like not believing any group of

00:32:59.900 people just because they make an

00:33:01.620 accusation like believe all women 1.00

00:33:03.560 preposterous we should listen to people

00:33:06.160 take them seriously and authorities and

00:33:08.960 law enforcement should investigate and

00:33:10.900 interview and take statements but

00:33:13.340 unfortunately the immediacy of what

00:33:15.500 happens if there is an incident where it

00:33:18.840 used to be you know we'll let it blow

00:33:20.240 over there's a cooling off period now

00:33:22.540 that doesn't happen particularly in

00:33:24.400 places like california and the cost to

00:33:26.880 our children and cost to us is crazy and

00:33:29.780 when you look at family law four thousand

00:33:32.500 children a day four thousand children

00:33:34.960 every day lose a parent in family law

00:33:38.500 courts in america and when you look at

00:33:40.380 the state's being incentivized they get

00:33:42.840 six thousand dollars for every child

00:33:44.660 they place into foster care there are

00:33:46.600 bonuses awarded if they move those

00:33:48.440 children through to adoption we have to

00:33:51.020 take the incentives away and we we really

00:33:54.560 have to i think address what was school

00:33:56.200 shootings and incarceration rates with

00:33:58.660 men and drug abuse and teen pregnancies we 0.56

00:34:01.680 have to look at the father's fatherless crisis and

00:34:04.820 the dad deprivation crisis i think that's

00:34:06.880 going on because one in three american kids

00:34:08.780 live without their biological father in

00:34:10.900 the home and they're at greater risk of

00:34:12.800 having more difficulty in their lives

00:34:15.300 according to just about every metric out

00:34:17.780 there now and greg i was going to ask you

00:34:20.080 because i think um i don't know how the

00:34:22.720 family law system became this way and i

00:34:24.720 don't understand the intricacies of it

00:34:26.480 but one thing i've noticed culturally is we

00:34:29.860 had an organization i'm sure maybe still

00:34:31.840 exists called fathers for justice here in

00:34:33.600 the uk and the only reason i know about it

00:34:36.660 is it was a punchline in every comedian

00:34:39.700 set a few years ago and and that is kind of

00:34:43.200 how we we treat it and i have always thought

00:34:45.980 you know i do cringe a little bit when you

00:34:48.880 get sort of men's rights movements and

00:34:51.500 and whatever and that's because i think and

00:34:54.240 see what you think about it look statistically

00:34:58.480 speaking men are less important uh

00:35:01.440 biologically right if you have a tribe of

00:35:04.240 10 women and 10 men and you lose half the

00:35:07.980 men it's not a big deal you lose half the

00:35:09.860 women your ability to reproduce the tribe 0.99

00:35:11.740 is significantly impacted right so

00:35:14.260 biologically speaking men are more

00:35:16.200 disposable and therefore i think

00:35:17.860 as people we don't have the same empathy

00:35:20.280 for men and their problems as we do for

00:35:23.040 women now what does that mean that means 1.00

00:35:25.180 that victimhood is not going to work for

00:35:28.740 men right it just isn't what i think

00:35:31.620 you're you'd agree with me on that

00:35:32.820 absolutely it is the new social currency

00:35:35.440 and its economy is booming yeah but but

00:35:37.500 not for men if you try to say look this

00:35:40.420 is a male problem and we all accept that 1.00

00:35:43.280 the problems that women face and they do 1.00

00:35:45.420 need to be tackled that automatically means

00:35:48.220 that there will be problems that men face

00:35:49.880 invariably right but we don't think about

00:35:52.360 it like that in our society we think we've

00:35:54.660 got these victims on the one hand and men

00:35:56.580 well you know they've got privilege and

00:35:58.540 their abusers and their threat and all of

00:36:00.920 this and they're disposable so and so i

00:36:04.280 suppose the question for me is how do you

00:36:06.320 overcome that because raising awareness of

00:36:09.400 the fact that there are people like you

00:36:10.960 who've gone through the awful experiences

00:36:13.060 that you've gone through eventually

00:36:14.520 vindicated after a terrible ordeal

00:36:16.440 well that's a great deal with that well you

00:36:20.920 know you you person from a personal

00:36:23.920 perspective you do the recovery work you

00:36:26.180 know you look in the mirror of mirror of

00:36:27.700 self you have that inevitable appointment

00:36:29.100 with yourself but you look i'm a caucasian

00:36:31.460 um middle-aged somewhat heterosexual male

00:36:35.040 actor from you know england who was who's

00:36:37.200 worked in hollywood for nearly three decades

00:36:39.000 what are your pronouns great

00:36:40.080 i'm not no comment

00:36:44.580 so you know i i get you know i knew going

00:36:50.560 into this that there would be a lot of

00:36:52.560 attacks and there'd be a lot of vitriol and

00:36:54.660 you know um man hate it or me being a

00:36:58.380 mansplainer um you know we'd hear a lot

00:37:00.560 about equality and to your point it's like

00:37:02.240 we don't hear the you know

00:37:03.560 woman's splainer we don't hear like we

00:37:05.780 should have anyway i'm not going to go

00:37:07.160 there um it's a great question let me go

00:37:09.080 there before you answer great because i had

00:37:11.060 an interesting experience um a few years

00:37:13.640 ago uh where my wife uh who who was she 1.00

00:37:17.000 she was really into break dancing at the

00:37:18.820 time and she went to a break dancing

00:37:20.320 class and there's one of the things that

00:37:23.220 they were doing she need herself in the

00:37:24.780 face and she had a black eye for two weeks 1.00

00:37:27.700 and i tell you what man walking around with

00:37:30.240 her for two weeks in public completely

00:37:34.300 changed my perception of this issue because

00:37:36.500 i guarantee you the looks i got and some 0.99

00:37:39.360 of the shit that people would openly say 0.99

00:37:41.400 you know we went to a restaurant and this 1.00

00:37:44.460 woman looked at us and went well he didn't

00:37:46.060 do that to you did he you know and the

00:37:50.440 looks people would look at her then look 0.94

00:37:52.380 at me with an angry face and then walk

00:37:54.700 away it's like you don't know anything

00:37:56.660 about me you've just you've jumped to that

00:37:58.720 conclusion because it's a stereotype but

00:38:01.060 it's okay because some people are okay to

00:38:03.820 stereotype yeah there's a great short film

00:38:06.660 i forget um it's by it's from a charity uh in

00:38:09.840 the uk actually and i've played it a couple of

00:38:11.920 times on my show it's only about three minutes

00:38:13.620 long but it was a social experiment and it's

00:38:16.120 out in the park and it's very busy lots of

00:38:17.980 people and the man starts berating the

00:38:21.080 woman and you see people coming up and you

00:38:25.720 know talking to this bloke what do you think

00:38:27.840 you're doing who you get leave her leave 1.00

00:38:29.700 her alone and then they do the same thing

00:38:32.020 role reversal with the woman doing the same

00:38:34.380 thing to the man and pushing him up against 0.99

00:38:36.080 the defense and and berating him and it's

00:38:39.000 snickers and laughter and derision so um but

00:38:42.980 i do think there is a slight cultural shift

00:38:45.280 i don't think there'll ever be a full cultural

00:38:47.100 shift in terms of what i do look i talk about

00:38:49.700 men and women fathers and mothers the extended

00:38:52.780 family how it affects that how alienation

00:38:55.220 you know i i've speak to spoken to a lot of

00:38:57.780 grandparents you know they're truly innocent

00:39:00.200 suddenly when there's a divorce and there's

00:39:01.760 alienation it's acrimonious they're removed

00:39:04.020 from access to their grandchildren in the in the you

00:39:07.360 know the latter stages of their lives and the

00:39:09.960 effect that that it's having on our children

00:39:12.380 um look i don't know if we'll be able to reform

00:39:14.880 family law in my lifetime we can we can improve it

00:39:18.240 we're making strides to improve it and you know

00:39:20.880 i'll get the attacks um but ultimately the victories

00:39:24.160 come um very meaningful and in terms of boys i think

00:39:29.260 that's for me you know don't don't girls and women 1.00

00:39:32.860 want boys to be you know better off and more well behaved

00:39:37.740 and um socially you know uh in a good place and i look at

00:39:43.100 schools i mean that to me is the education system i mean it's

00:39:47.220 predominantly populated by by female teachers these days and

00:39:51.140 it's morphed over the past 30 years to cater to the natural behavior of

00:39:56.380 girls and that boy behavior that maybe we 0.99

00:39:59.260 were more into growing up by playing war and being more rambunctious

00:40:03.020 that was considered boyish is now considered problematic

00:40:06.740 and you know i think psychology and child development expert i think his name's

00:40:11.720 michael thompson yeah he says that girl behavior is

00:40:14.760 the gold standard now in schools and boys are treated like defective girls so

00:40:18.900 you know i had christine christina hoff summers on my show she's um

00:40:23.140 at the american institute american enterprise institute philosopher

00:40:26.860 and she wrote an article school has become too hostile for boys i think it

00:40:31.360 was for time magazine and and she mentioned elementary and high

00:40:35.160 school zero tolerance regimes uh mean boys account for 70 percent of

00:40:40.220 suspensions from kindergarten through 12th grade so

00:40:43.080 no one's really getting out there and talking to people like dr warren farrell and

00:40:46.880 others you know you mentioned the the men's rights movement as well you know i had a

00:40:50.780 few of those uh groups contact me early on when i was beginning my quest to see

00:40:55.520 how i could put together this this project this multimedia project and there is a sense

00:41:00.860 sometimes and i get where it comes from when you look at what what some men go through and

00:41:05.460 fathers go through of anger and resentment and this inner rage you know and i don't think

00:41:12.180 that works when we're having the conversation out there you know we've got to include mothers

00:41:16.360 and daughters as well as you know fathers and sons well you you talk about father absence and by

00:41:22.360 the way warren farrell is a guy who we've had on the show and i think his book the boy crisis and

00:41:26.720 and many other other things he talks about uh and particularly given his own background of being like

00:41:31.480 one of the first male feminists in america whatever it was like he he's got a lot of credibility and i

00:41:36.520 think the things that he says are very apt but the boy crisis the fatherhood absence all of that

00:41:43.580 uh that is a bigger thing than even the conversation we're having here because the impact on society out

00:41:50.300 of that is just it we all know i mean we all know the statistics of the impact that that has on

00:41:56.280 children particularly boys but also on girls um and i suppose the question is where you think that

00:42:02.500 comes from because if you if you take uh you know take thomas soul thomas soul says well it's you know

00:42:08.760 the welfare state in the 60s but i don't think that's necessarily the only explanation because

00:42:13.420 it's not just happening in america right uh you talk to someone like our former guest louise perry i

00:42:19.180 think she'd probably say well the breakdown of the family comes from the sexual revolution 1.00

00:42:23.020 you change the roles of men and women around the same time that's what happens what is your take on

00:42:29.260 where you think you know the breakdown of the family at the scale that we are seeing now is just

00:42:34.200 unprecedented where where does it come from well that's a that's a big question i mean you know

00:42:39.540 professor janice fiamingo talks about feminism she says feminism is the reason for it um you know in 1.00

00:42:44.940 its entirety uh i'm not saying that um i think there's probably in enough trouble as it is um i think

00:42:54.480 there's many reasons i think you know if you look at the marriage and divorce statistics um you know 41

00:43:00.680 percent of all marriages will end up in divorce we talk about um you know we hear a lot about

00:43:06.240 prenuptial agreements but we don't hear anyone talking about prenuptial custody agreements we put

00:43:11.640 more cachet on our material possessions and our financial estate than we do our children um you know

00:43:18.220 43 percent of children grow up without their fathers 90 percent of divorced mothers are awarded or have

00:43:25.660 custody so until we start valuing the male the patriarch and the matriarch and you know i've

00:43:33.720 said it for a while now i think the greatest threat to western civilization is the breakdown of the family

00:43:37.900 unit and we we hear about these and i'm not particularly some you know uh right wing you know

00:43:44.560 uh republican like gung-ho no no no no no you are now don't worry about it there's no there's no point

00:43:51.560 pretending once you start having any wrong opinion about any issue you you become right wing it's like

00:43:57.200 us neither of us is right wing but you start talking about controversial stuff you become

00:44:01.100 right wing so just get a gun uh start eating red meat you know whatever else you're supposed to

00:44:06.400 move to alabama yeah exactly yeah get the best well just you know i didn't leave the left the left left

00:44:11.980 me but um yeah yeah in answer to your question i think one of them is is child support okay i call it

00:44:16.860 the child support hustle and it's the size of the machine it's become they are debtors prisons

00:44:21.820 where abolished you know the debtors prisons were abolished over a hundred years ago yet child support

00:44:27.240 arrears can incarcerate a parent um walter scott i think it was a case of walter scott maybe eight

00:44:32.300 ten years ago i wrote about this he was he was a guy who was shot in the back eight times by by a white

00:44:37.880 police officer and um you know no one in the in the press talks about what led to why he was pulled

00:44:43.980 over the broken taillight and ran he was running because five i think four or five times he'd been

00:44:49.260 put in prison for child support arrears he couldn't afford to pay that three thousand dollars for a man

00:44:55.140 on on you know thirty thousand dollars a year maybe earning that on the poverty line the real poverty

00:45:01.460 line then he gets hit with that by the state and that and then there's interest on top of that so

00:45:07.260 and then you look at thirty percent of men paying child support and not the biological father so

00:45:11.260 i think there's the child support hustle where poor non-custodial parents who lack the ability

00:45:16.940 to pay child support end up in this modern day debtors prison um and the system of punishing parents

00:45:25.620 uh works for the courts it works for the legal system the attorneys and the cottage industry of

00:45:31.740 people who work within it what it doesn't work for is our families our future generations our parents

00:45:39.420 our parents parents our extended families and particularly our children it's conflict oriented

00:45:46.640 it's about abuse argument and alienation it's about prizes uh the cash prizes um putting um cash and

00:45:56.340 profit over over parents and children it's about money control and hatred and acrimony rather than

00:46:03.200 really truly understanding a family first model which is the best interest of the child and parents

00:46:09.240 love and co-parenting child centered and providing more of a peaceful future and i think we have to

00:46:16.340 look at the cps as well the child protection services i don't i don't say it lightly when i say when i ask

00:46:21.900 the question who's kidnapping children to sell into foster care i call the cps racketeers um you know

00:46:28.920 that they for decades now and it's startling when i found this out for decades children have been

00:46:34.560 removed intentionally from their homes seized from their families and parents snatched kidnapped legally

00:46:42.000 trafficked for profit all due to legislation introduced in 1974 it's the adoption and safe

00:46:47.720 families act which offers financial incentives to the states that increase adoption numbers so

00:46:53.320 tens literally tens of thousands of children are and have been and will continue to be taken from

00:46:59.720 homes that are safe for the purposes of garnering federal funding and state funding um and that

00:47:06.540 fraud uh and of course it's usually the the parents who can least afford to um to to retain an attorney

00:47:15.420 um or don't have the financial you know wherewithal or the smarts to be able to navigate the system

00:47:21.940 um we need to look at these systems that are in place and and really try to call out those on the

00:47:28.300 other side who are incentivized and make all of the money the tens and tens of millions of pounds

00:47:33.900 in the uk and dollars uh in america to further their agenda which is to keep the money in family court

00:47:42.080 and keep separating parents from their children greg i'm sure that there are people who are listening

00:47:48.900 to this or watching this and they're in this situation they're going through this what advice

00:47:53.960 would you give to them gosh well first of all i'd say i i relate you're not alone i mean i wrote my

00:48:01.400 book for a multitude of reasons and started this project for a multitude of reasons if you are

00:48:05.900 listening or watching and you're going through this you're not alone you're not crazy you're not mad

00:48:11.240 um and i i try not to give advice in a general sense i've written a compendium free downloadable

00:48:20.140 ebook called the code for those who want to go to the respondent.com and that is for immediate

00:48:24.760 interventions into well-being and it offers some uh psychological tips uh i guess somatic remedies

00:48:32.460 um for individuals who are suffering through the trauma of this system because it's so traumatic

00:48:38.520 um it it just rips the very meaning of your life away your children it's extreme it's shocking

00:48:44.980 it's unrelenting it's inescapable this divorce trap and how people can can endure what i call

00:48:50.840 the living grief i mean i've spoken to a few and know a few people i call it suicide by living grief

00:48:56.280 there is a finality when someone dies and we are we go through the grieving process um but parental

00:49:03.780 alienation and suddenly being removed from one's own children is a living grief that is difficult

00:49:11.860 to describe if you haven't been through it um so all i would say is you know there are there are

00:49:18.260 programs that my charity is is you know offering and building out um part of part of that is

00:49:24.940 communication programs workshops and programs to promote and improve interpersonal relating how we

00:49:30.500 can better communicate with each other uh mediation uh solutions oriented intervention experts that help

00:49:37.000 resolve uh resolve uh conflict and not um not propagate it uh and rack up billable hours to keep people

00:49:45.740 out of the court system so if you're thinking of getting divorced if you're thinking of retaining an

00:49:51.760 attorney if you're thinking that you need to go to war don't that's what i would say and if you are

00:49:57.700 stuck in the system there is hope um and there is a way out it may take a while but um hopefully people

00:50:05.860 will find the respondent and find ways to you know get relief families need relief from being shipwrecked

00:50:12.300 in this horrific system and greg we left your journey uh at you getting help from a influential powerful

00:50:20.440 friend how did you yourself get to a point where you are now where you're doing all this work and uh

00:50:27.440 you i can tell from the way that you are that emotionally you've processed all of this as well and

00:50:33.920 you've got to a place that is now constructive and you are out in the world doing things uh rather than

00:50:39.860 stewing on on the on the experiences that you had what what was the process from where we left you

00:50:45.680 uh how did you how did you manage to you know get get not you didn't get justice but vindication at least

00:50:53.260 and freedom and so on well that's a great question i think in terms of the details of the the kind of

00:50:59.300 dramatic inciting incident by the book i know i know no no no i'm not no no i'm not i'm not doing

00:51:05.480 it to kind of you know to promote it i'm saying because we'd be here too long we're talking about

00:51:09.880 it no i appreciate it but yeah but no the answer i would give is is basically a year more or less a

00:51:15.520 year after i was you know because it went on for about five and a half six years it was that long

00:51:20.080 wow um i sat down one night i mean i did a lot of self-reflection work and i studied with people

00:51:26.020 i have mentors i studied affect theory phenomenology um psychology um and got to know myself and this

00:51:34.200 system a lot better but i sat down and i asked myself the proverbial socrates question who am i i

00:51:39.880 wrote it in my notes on my iphone and i went into a deep dive dialectic and i'd never done that before

00:51:45.600 um and i asked a meaningful question got a meaningful answer and and it was kind of thesis

00:51:51.720 and uh anti-thesis and then synthesis and each synthesis gave me a new meaningful question i had

00:51:58.520 1100 notes and meaningful answers uh within an hour it was like you know biohack brain brain flow that

00:52:06.260 the artist goes into i guess um and that really helped kind of solidify where i wanted to go who i was

00:52:13.760 uh how i was going to become a better human being a better man an even better more improved version

00:52:20.480 a way more improved version than myself and transcend who i used to be break through those

00:52:25.100 commonly held belief systems that i had before and enlighten myself and um you know to share my

00:52:32.660 story as as the vessel really for so many other stories that are out there um to for people to be

00:52:38.500 able to and i still do the daily work you know there are rituals that i have i talk to people about

00:52:43.460 yawning which isn't because you're tired you you want to release emotional energy from the emotional

00:52:47.880 container of the body you give yourself a hug and you rub yourself because that's somatic

00:52:51.560 i talk about peter levine's work waking the tiger um getting into a conversation with the organism and

00:52:57.500 the body getting outside of cognition because affect theory teaches us that there are things happening in

00:53:03.360 the biology of the body that the inform the biography of the stories that we tell ourselves and make up

00:53:09.260 and so we can reshape and redraft um those narratives that we've grown up with from an early age

00:53:15.440 um and become a more mature i guess uh more consistently mature human being

00:53:21.000 greg i'm going to ask a question it's going to sound provocative but i i think it needs to be asked

00:53:26.120 would you ever get married again gosh that's a really great question i think for a while

00:53:31.260 um for a for a long while it was it was no um in terms of contractual marriage i you know i i believe

00:53:44.900 that the union if you will and the vow that one makes and the commitment to another is so important

00:53:51.500 so whatever religion whatever spiritual practice whatever um belief system you have um like do that

00:53:59.940 but in terms of the legal marriage contract i don't think that that i've looked at this there

00:54:05.760 was nothing to be gained and everything to be lost from the contractual part of that um so the simple

00:54:14.360 answer is yes i mean i bought seven years ago i bought a really nice white shirt when i could when i

00:54:20.820 had some money again and it's still in the wrapping seven years later and that's the white shirt that i

00:54:26.000 hopefully one day will wear um for my wedding ceremony of union to whoever and whomever um that

00:54:34.160 that person is if and when i find or she well let me tell you as a man who's about to enter my 40s

00:54:40.440 you only need to go you're going to need to go to the gym quite a lot just to be able to fit into that

00:54:44.760 shirt after all these years my friend

00:54:47.480 greg listen it's been great to have you on and uh thank you for sharing your story with us

00:54:54.940 uh like i say for me as a new parent particularly it's just

00:54:59.340 imagining what you went through i i i can't and and it's it's crazy and i really commend you for

00:55:06.600 being able to talk about it in a in this in the healed way i can tell that you've you've really

00:55:12.480 processed it um and that's why you're able to talk about it the way that you do so tell everybody

00:55:17.520 before we ask you our last question for the main interview and before we do our locals only

00:55:22.000 uh bit uh tell us where we can where people can buy the book where they can follow your show where

00:55:28.620 they can find your work great yeah and in response thank you for having me on i mean you guys do a

00:55:33.700 great show and uh you know you are you you are all about the civil discourse um welcome to the right

00:55:39.960 wing great you alt-right nutters

00:55:43.520 what is it i forget all the terminology alt-right neo-nazi 0.95

00:55:49.900 like oh whatever we're all that man i'm a jewish nazi i mean it's you are that's an oxymoron 0.89

00:55:56.360 yeah well you know it doesn't stop people from saying that so yeah well i appreciate i appreciate it

00:56:02.360 yeah no the respondent.com is the kind of home of the respondent where there's a lot of information

00:56:07.460 information on the charity cpu uh is at the respondent.com as well children and parents

00:56:12.980 united is the charity um there's also my book the audio book of the of the book uh there's the

00:56:19.360 respondent community uh which is a safe space for parents who are going through this or who have

00:56:24.200 gone through this or grandparents or family members and that's on the mighty networks um and

00:56:29.800 there's also i haven't really made the announcement yet but there is uh we're going to have the respondent

00:56:34.360 world convention on april 21st in las vegas and we're going to bring together some great experts

00:56:39.980 and um practitioners uh as well as some great entertainment to to come together and bring a

00:56:45.960 little joy back into people's lives as well as some information and remedies dr warren farrell is going

00:56:50.320 to be there as well as many other people and trauma specialists so looking forward to that

00:56:54.380 fantastic greg and the last question we always ask is the same what's the one thing we're not

00:56:59.960 talking about that we really should be well i think we've just talked about it but um

00:57:05.300 you know really i think this conversation about family law and our our familial bonds our familial

00:57:12.800 tapestry is so so vital um in this day and age with the age of modernity and technology and how we're

00:57:20.440 kind of the the device dependency and the reverse psychology of the algorithm of social media

00:57:25.820 is how we can more particularly for younger generations because it's not their their 0.99

00:57:30.800 responsibility we're the ones that raised them we are the older generation how we can find those

00:57:36.420 remedies and reliefs uh from i'm not suggesting people tune out from your show obviously from your

00:57:42.140 typical social media um uh dopamine hits and addictions um so i you know i think

00:57:49.720 if i were to select one thing within that kind of umbrella because to your point it's if we improve

00:57:57.020 family law i think we'd improve every part of our physical health mental health incarceration rates

00:58:02.240 drug rates teen pregnancies online teen porn addiction etc etc is well i'm in america so i would say

00:58:10.000 school shootings um i think we we talk a lot about the horrific uh sadness and the gun debate and

00:58:19.360 when it enters our school with our children that safe space as parents where we leave our children

00:58:24.420 for the day every day for many days and many weeks of the year what's causing that and for me it's lack

00:58:31.120 of fathers it's lack of mentoring bringing back the mythopoetic talking more about um the rich qualities

00:58:39.020 of men the masculine fathers and that hunter-gatherer and bringing back those rites of passage that seem so

00:58:47.600 lost they're still there in so many great religions i mean the the catholicism uh judaism you know

00:58:54.600 they're there but with the crisis of meaning and the crisis of faith i think that's been going on we

00:59:00.700 really just need to to to start championing men a little more and boys rather than vilifying them

00:59:07.260 i couldn't agree with you more the fact that men and women have somehow i talk about this in my book as well

00:59:13.080 to some extent the fact that men and women have been positioned as uh enemies as opposed to people

00:59:18.260 who have to collaborate as they have done throughout the entirety of human history uh to build and create

00:59:23.680 things together in harmony uh it's mind-boggling and it is like you say it's one of the biggest

00:59:29.040 threads to western civilization so it's been a real pleasure to have you on we're going to ask you

00:59:33.180 a one or two questions from our local supporters that only they will get to see the answer to

00:59:37.920 but for now greg ellis thank you so much for coming on the show and thank you all for watching

00:59:42.700 and listening we will see you very soon with another brilliant episode like this one or raw show

00:59:47.880 all of them go out at 7 p.m uk time and for those of you who like your trigonometry on the go

00:59:52.760 it's also available as a podcast take care and see you soon guys

00:59:56.800 what's going on with the movies greg why are they all crap now 0.51

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01:00:19.820 story of a kid from brooklyn destined for something more featuring all the songs you love including

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01:00:31.380 mega hit is here the neil diamond musical a beautiful noise april 28th through june 7th

01:00:37.500 2026 the princess of wales theater get tickets at mirvish.com

TRIGGERnometry - January 30, 2023

From Hollywood to Homeless with Greg Ellis

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