TRIGGERnometry - November 15, 2023


Jay Leno - Comedy, Cars & Stories From My Life


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per minute

190.0578

Word count

11,652

Sentence count

1,153

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Toxicity

84

sentences flagged

Hate speech

21

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian and writer Jay Sheinfeld joins Jemele to discuss his life growing up in the early days of stand-up comedy and how he went on to become one of the most successful comedians of all time. He also shares the story of how he got his start in comedy, how he became a star, and what it was like growing up as a kid in a small town in America.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.700 Broadway's smash hit, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.
00:00:06.520 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs you love,
00:00:11.780 including America, Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.
00:00:15.780 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful, the next musical mega hit is here, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise.
00:00:22.600 Now through June 7th, 2026 at the Princess of Wales Theatre.
00:00:26.800 Get tickets at murbish.com.
00:00:31.000 Broadway's smash hit, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.
00:00:36.860 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs you love,
00:00:42.120 including America, Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.
00:00:46.120 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful, the next musical mega hit is here, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise.
00:00:52.980 April 28th through June 7th, 2026, the Princess of Wales Theatre.
00:00:57.440 Get tickets at murbish.com.
00:01:00.000 Based on what you're saying, you sound like a really nice guy, Jay. 1.00
00:01:03.700 Hey, fuck you. 1.00
00:01:06.720 Billy the bouncer stabbed him in the leg with a knife, and the guy's bleeding. 1.00
00:01:10.820 So they gave him 20 bucks, put him in the cab, sent him off.
00:01:13.640 Okay.
00:01:13.880 The world you're describing, particularly from the early days, is so different to the world that we have now.
00:01:21.540 Yeah, it is different.
00:01:22.480 But I mean, that's, is it progress?
00:01:24.440 I don't know.
00:01:25.500 A rape joke has the same career penalty as an actual rape.
00:01:29.940 That doesn't seem fair.
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00:02:58.640 Jay, thank you so much for coming on the show.
00:03:00.520 Well, thanks for having me.
00:03:01.460 As everyone can tell, you're a fan of cars.
00:03:03.780 We'll get to that.
00:03:04.620 Yeah.
00:03:05.120 We'll get to that.
00:03:05.840 But before that, look, I remember growing up and your show was so well established.
00:03:09.720 You were hugely popular.
00:03:11.160 But people of my generation and younger wouldn't have followed your journey from the beginning.
00:03:15.560 So we always love to get people like you to tell us your story.
00:03:17.980 How did you get into comedy and stand-up and all of that?
00:03:21.480 Well, I grew up in a rural area.
00:03:23.460 I was born in New York City, in New York rather.
00:03:26.100 When I was nine, we moved to Andover, Massachusetts, which is about 30 miles north of Boston, kind of rural area.
00:03:31.800 So the idea of going into show business, you know, my mother is from Scotland.
00:03:39.800 And to the day she died, she never understood what I did, you know.
00:03:44.680 I can remember I had my Aunt Nettie, a Scottish name.
00:03:49.240 And I heard my mother phone.
00:03:51.260 Obviously, my Aunt Nettie said, what's Jay doing now?
00:03:54.040 And she said, well, he has a little skit that he puts on from town to town.
00:03:58.960 And I'm going, Ma, I don't, like I'd stand in town square and I sort of do a dance or something.
00:04:03.920 There's no conception of, I mean, it's the kind of place where people go, Kathy's boy wants to be a comedian.
00:04:10.700 It just didn't seem like a viable profession.
00:04:13.520 You know, you come to Los Angeles and you meet nine-year-old kids who want to be lighting directors because their dad is or their uncle is.
00:04:19.660 So they're all in the business.
00:04:20.720 But growing up in a small town, you worked at the sneaker factory or you worked at the plant or you were a teacher or something of that nature.
00:04:30.160 So the idea of going into show business really did not seem like a viable alternative.
00:04:34.820 And how did you end up going into show?
00:04:37.060 I mean, that must be quite a…
00:04:38.220 Well, I went to school in Boston.
00:04:39.280 And Boston had thousands of students with no money willing to be entertained by people with no talent.
00:04:46.580 The colleges, they would put a candle in the cafeteria.
00:04:50.580 It would become the Two-Toe Cafe.
00:04:52.660 And this was the late 60s, early 70s.
00:04:56.440 And it was a pretty serious time.
00:04:58.480 It was mostly folks saying, stop your war machine, man.
00:05:01.620 And they would have a flashlight under their chin.
00:05:03.740 It would be dark.
00:05:04.540 Stop your war machine. 0.75
00:05:05.660 And they'd run over there.
00:05:06.860 Stop your war machine. 0.75
00:05:07.800 And it's like this sort of alternative experimental.
00:05:10.420 So the idea of doing stand-up didn't really even seem like, what, it was not something people thought was a viable alternative.
00:05:19.220 Then George Carlin started to come in and then Robert Clinton.
00:05:23.580 Because, see, prior to that, most comedians, and I imagine the same thing in England, were men in their 40s or 50s, grew up during either the war or in America during the Depression.
00:05:34.920 Times are rough.
00:05:35.960 Kids with the long hair so long, the pants are through them tight.
00:05:38.420 These hippies, all that kind.
00:05:39.760 And then suddenly I had this younger generation talking about things that I understood.
00:05:44.560 You know, I remember George Carlin's Class Clown album.
00:05:47.920 That's sort of what ignited me.
00:05:49.320 I remember hearing it.
00:05:51.060 And I would recite it, not on stage.
00:05:54.460 And then to get into it, I would put my own stories at the end.
00:05:58.640 I would do his routine just to get the rhythm in my bedroom or something.
00:06:03.500 And then I'd put my own story.
00:06:05.020 And so the first time I got on stage, I just, I was standing backstage doing George, and I walked, I tried to time it.
00:06:12.260 So when I walked out, oh, well, here's what happened to me when I was in school.
00:06:15.080 And that sort of worked.
00:06:17.300 It worked pretty good.
00:06:18.340 So there's a whole generation.
00:06:19.680 Richard Pryor.
00:06:21.460 You know, nobody's better than, we called him Richie back then.
00:06:24.460 But I used to try and go on.
00:06:27.780 I remember back in the 70s, I think Richard Pryor was the first guy to do a comedy stand-up movie.
00:06:36.260 It was Richard Pryor live at the Sunset Strip.
00:06:38.520 And for about two months, he would come to the comedy store to break in the material.
00:06:44.040 And killer, nobody's funnier than Richard.
00:06:46.660 It was unbelievable.
00:06:47.820 And I remember saying to Mitzi, who owned the bus, can I go on after Richard every night?
00:06:52.440 You know?
00:06:52.940 And nobody wanted to do it because you just died.
00:06:56.260 But I realized I did not have an hour's worth of material.
00:06:59.680 I had about 12 minutes.
00:07:01.660 Because after following Richie and you go on.
00:07:03.780 But it was good training because they just threw out everything that wasn't funny.
00:07:06.900 You know, comics are inherently pretty lazy.
00:07:09.720 Well, you know, that joke worked back in the 80s.
00:07:12.180 Yeah, but it's not the 80s anymore.
00:07:13.900 You can't, you people, how old are you?
00:07:16.520 What are you talking about, you know?
00:07:18.360 I remember seeing a comedian not that long ago.
00:07:22.180 You know, I was thinking about Nixon in the paper the other day.
00:07:24.340 And I go, first of all, Nixon was not in the paper the other day.
00:07:27.260 I don't believe you as an audience member.
00:07:29.660 And you're doing, I'm not a crook, you know, all that.
00:07:32.240 Nobody knows what you're talking about.
00:07:33.640 Nobody knows who Richard Nixon is.
00:07:35.440 I mean, but that's what happens in your comic.
00:07:37.920 You just sort of, you just keep doing it thinking, well, it didn't work once, you know.
00:07:42.580 It's like guys that have a bad pickup line.
00:07:44.480 They got laid once with it in the 90s.
00:07:47.220 And they've been saying the line ever since, you know.
00:07:51.980 It's interesting that you say that.
00:07:53.880 You do, it's so interesting because comedians are like that.
00:07:57.440 Oh, no, mate, that joke worked three months ago.
00:07:59.900 You go, yeah, it worked once.
00:08:01.400 Right, right.
00:08:01.900 It doesn't mean it's going to work again.
00:08:03.920 And you're talking about Richard Pryor.
00:08:07.140 For people of our generation, he's a legendary figure.
00:08:10.860 What was it, what was he like as a person?
00:08:12.640 What was it like working with him and watching him perform?
00:08:15.580 Well, he was a great comic.
00:08:20.240 Moody.
00:08:20.720 He, some days, it was Richard, sometime, Mr. Pryor.
00:08:26.880 And you realize, oh, okay, he's serious now.
00:08:29.720 Okay.
00:08:30.060 Hey, Ms. Pryor.
00:08:32.060 Yeah.
00:08:32.920 And then 10 minutes later, you're fine.
00:08:35.100 You know, just odd.
00:08:37.180 Did a lot of drugs.
00:08:38.860 A lot of drugs.
00:08:40.060 You know. 0.98
00:08:41.640 And, you know, he grew up in a whorehouse in Peoria, Illinois. 0.98
00:08:46.220 I think his aunt or somebody ran the brothel.
00:08:48.920 So, you know, just witness to a lot of things at an extremely young age that were either inappropriate or just outright wrong.
00:08:56.740 So, you cut him some slack.
00:09:00.640 But really funny.
00:09:02.700 I mean, to the point where it was so natural. 0.99
00:09:08.980 And, you know, he was the first guy to use terms, like, these motherfuckers, you know, all the time. 0.99
00:09:13.560 And I remember Cosby would yell at him, you know, Cosby, the moral equivalent. 0.99
00:09:19.080 Stop using the F word.
00:09:20.380 Stop using that.
00:09:21.180 But for Richard, you never felt like he was using it gratuitously.
00:09:24.480 Yeah.
00:09:24.720 It was a vernacular.
00:09:27.180 He was talking as a character.
00:09:29.080 And it was always just really funny to watch, you know.
00:09:34.900 Oh, he had just, I remember some of the, you know, about two black guys at the urinal, you know, and the standard at the urinal guy. 0.94
00:09:41.880 One guy says, his water's cold.
00:09:43.560 Yeah.
00:09:43.780 And deep, too.
00:09:45.000 Just those kind of jokes, you know.
00:09:47.600 Just that.
00:09:49.140 Yeah.
00:09:49.600 I mean, he was really good.
00:09:52.500 Yeah.
00:09:52.900 It was really a joy to watch him work because it wasn't set up punchline.
00:09:58.620 It wasn't a guy goes into a bar.
00:09:59.940 It wasn't that.
00:10:01.080 He was always telling a story and playing a character.
00:10:05.260 And that's what really made it work.
00:10:07.620 Yeah.
00:10:08.180 What were those days like in the comedy store in the 70s and the 80s?
00:10:12.500 Wonderful.
00:10:13.100 Wonderful.
00:10:13.660 Because to me, you know, it's so funny.
00:10:15.500 Whenever there was a series about it, I'm dying up here.
00:10:19.880 And, you know, the drugs and the depression.
00:10:23.660 To me, it was a joyous time because I never met another comedian.
00:10:29.000 When I was, I was fortunate.
00:10:31.220 When I started in New England and Boston, didn't have comedy clubs.
00:10:35.220 I worked strip clubs.
00:10:36.220 So, I never knew how bad I was because people are always yelling or throwing stuff at you, you know.
00:10:42.260 So, if I got a laugh at all, I thought that was great.
00:10:45.580 It wasn't until I, there was a club called Lenny's on the Turnpike, which is a great name.
00:10:49.880 But it was a jazz club.
00:10:51.660 And I got to open for Miles Davis.
00:10:54.000 Wow.
00:10:54.260 And Getz and Moe's Allison and Amon Jamal and Rahsaan Roland-Kirk.
00:10:58.880 And I would get, please don't come here at Jay Leno.
00:11:01.340 I'd walk on stage.
00:11:04.400 And they were there to listen because they're jazz people.
00:11:07.400 Yeah.
00:11:07.860 I never had an audience that listened before. 1.00
00:11:10.240 It was always, you suck, get up, Steph. 0.99
00:11:12.380 I remember the first time I got on stage. 0.99
00:11:14.760 The first time, Jay Leno.
00:11:16.220 And the guy goes, we hate him. 1.00
00:11:17.920 You suck. 1.00
00:11:18.560 And I'm thinking, did they see me come in? 1.00
00:11:20.440 How can they hate me?
00:11:21.200 You know, well, of course they didn't see me.
00:11:23.320 It wasn't based on anything.
00:11:24.960 It was just a rough joint.
00:11:27.180 That's what it was.
00:11:27.900 So, working that jazz club, it really made me appreciate the audiences and the economy
00:11:33.260 of words, trying to get to a joke as quickly as possible without a lot of, you know, I
00:11:38.900 think the reason comedians like to talk to other comedians is when you talk to regular
00:11:43.000 people, they go, right?
00:11:44.120 So, I goes to him, right?
00:11:45.440 So, like, she goes back to me.
00:11:47.200 What do you mean goes back to me?
00:11:47.800 You mean she, they just trip over the, yeah.
00:11:51.260 They're tripping on themselves, you know.
00:11:53.060 Comedians get to the point, so it makes it a fun conversation.
00:11:56.280 And Jay, you talk about starting out working strip clubs.
00:12:01.080 People who haven't done stand-up don't know.
00:12:03.300 I mean, I've never played a strip club in my life, thankfully.
00:12:05.880 But even, you know, I've been similar situations.
00:12:09.000 That's a horrible experience as a comedian.
00:12:11.260 No, it's a great experience.
00:12:11.920 You enjoyed it?
00:12:12.540 Well, I enjoyed it because there's nothing worse than silence.
00:12:17.980 And if they're not paying attention, it's not your fault.
00:12:21.140 Yeah.
00:12:21.700 You know, you're up there, okay, maybe you throw out an ad lib and get a laugh and, hey, 1.00
00:12:26.200 shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:12:26.840 Oh, okay, that wasn't really funny, but okay, I got a laugh. 1.00
00:12:29.600 You know, so it was sort of comforting because it wasn't my fault.
00:12:34.380 Well, I used to go into bars and I'd put a $50 bill on the bar and I would say, the bar
00:12:38.460 can I get to do comedy?
00:12:39.260 No.
00:12:39.860 I'd go, okay, it's $50.
00:12:41.660 If I do bad and people leave, keep the $50.
00:12:44.040 If I do good and they laugh, give me the $50 back.
00:12:46.680 Okay.
00:12:47.820 That costs you about $500.
00:12:50.540 But it also, a couple of times, they'd say, yeah, come back on Wednesday.
00:12:56.420 We've got a, what they used to call them, a hoot nanny night. 0.99
00:12:59.560 It was folks saying, yeah, come back.
00:13:01.020 You can have them say, oh, okay.
00:13:02.580 And that sort of led into it.
00:13:04.560 So I was a bit fortunate, you know, when you come to Los Angeles, I would meet new comedians
00:13:10.140 and they'd walk into the comedy store, the improv, and Robin Williams on stage, and Jerry
00:13:14.820 Seinfeld, and David Letterman, and they'd go, oh, man.
00:13:18.440 And they would just be so intimidated, they couldn't even go on.
00:13:21.640 The places I worked, the audiences were terrible, the acts were terrible.
00:13:27.680 So I really didn't feel I was that bad.
00:13:30.000 It wasn't until I came here and went, whoa, I got to get my act together.
00:13:33.080 But these guys are really good, you know.
00:13:34.920 So it was actually rather comforting.
00:13:37.400 That's such an interesting point.
00:13:38.560 I guess where I was going with it, it does take, you know, a lot of determination to come
00:13:42.680 into a place and, you know, I'll give you $50 to be able to perform.
00:13:46.620 What was it that drove you to do that?
00:13:49.040 Why did you have that tenacity to keep going when, you know, you're not crushing it, you're
00:13:54.020 not in front of lots of people, you're not making money, et cetera?
00:13:56.620 I'm a huge believer in low self-esteem.
00:13:59.640 I think it's the key to success.
00:14:01.280 If you don't think you're the smartest person in the room, you listen, you know.
00:14:05.500 And I realized there's nothing else I really enjoyed doing.
00:14:10.320 I'm dyslexic, so I was a terrible, terrible student.
00:14:13.980 And I enjoy talking to people and telling stories.
00:14:18.960 And to your friend, you know, you're the class clown at school, all that kind of stuff.
00:14:22.080 And you would get laughs.
00:14:23.880 It seemed like I figured I would do it until I just had to get a real job.
00:14:27.780 Because no matter how bad it was, it was not as bad as not doing it.
00:14:34.120 You know what I mean?
00:14:34.700 Yeah.
00:14:35.040 Because you're on stage, the lights are on you.
00:14:37.560 Oh, I worked to awful places.
00:14:39.540 I worked one place where the guy said, the beachcomber in Avere, Massachusetts, he said,
00:14:44.640 when you come, just wear your own clothes.
00:14:46.620 I go, I want to dress up.
00:14:47.600 Just wear your own clothes.
00:14:48.900 Why?
00:14:50.360 Okay.
00:14:50.940 Well, because the guys, they would smoke the cigarettes down, and then they'd flick them on you, you know.
00:14:55.740 So I'm on stage once, and I hear the audience laughing.
00:14:59.920 And my jacket's on fire, because the guy flicked the cigarette.
00:15:04.700 I had a wool suit on, and it started smoking, you know.
00:15:08.020 Yeah.
00:15:09.100 Wow.
00:15:09.740 Yeah.
00:15:10.060 I might tell you a funny story.
00:15:11.340 I was at a place in Boston.
00:15:15.260 Like, just a tough place.
00:15:16.660 And I'm on stage, and some guy's being seated, you know.
00:15:21.160 And they seat him right next to a pole.
00:15:23.800 Because they can't see. 1.00
00:15:24.660 Just shut up and watch the show. 0.99
00:15:26.740 Everything's okay? 1.00
00:15:27.440 Everything's okay, Miss Lennon.
00:15:28.340 Don't worry about it.
00:15:30.080 And then I hear, ah!
00:15:32.980 What was that?
00:15:33.780 And then people laugh.
00:15:34.680 They drag this guy out.
00:15:36.100 And I come off stage, and I said, what was that?
00:15:38.620 And they said, oh, the guy was hassling them by the seat.
00:15:41.900 Well, why'd he scream? 0.78
00:15:43.120 Billy, Billy the bouncer, stabbed him in the leg with a knife and just cut him up, you know. 0.57
00:15:49.840 And the guy's bleeding.
00:15:51.120 So they gave him 20 bucks, put him in the cab, sent him off.
00:15:53.960 Okay.
00:15:55.380 Okay, so fine.
00:15:56.380 So those were the days, man.
00:15:58.520 Yeah.
00:15:58.760 Yeah.
00:15:58.940 So then, like, a month later, I get a call from the club.
00:16:02.000 They go, hey, Jay, remember Billy the bouncer, the guy that helped you?
00:16:06.240 What do you mean he helped?
00:16:06.860 Remember that I was a heckler and Billy stabbed him?
00:16:09.800 I go, well, that didn't really help me.
00:16:11.580 I go, well, what's the problem?
00:16:12.500 He goes, and this is my favorite.
00:16:15.240 He said, well, he killed the guy.
00:16:16.380 Now the cops are hassling him.
00:16:19.200 And I actually said to the club, I said, well, you think the cops will go after real criminals?
00:16:23.620 And the club goes, yeah, exactly, exactly.
00:16:26.880 And it just made me, I mean, that's what you were dealing with.
00:16:31.580 And it was just very odd, very funny, just curious, working with strippers.
00:16:38.100 I loved it because I was a kid.
00:16:39.820 I was 19.
00:16:41.220 And most of these strippers, it's not like now.
00:16:44.520 Most of these strippers were women that didn't type, weren't in the secretarial pool. 1.00
00:16:51.160 And there weren't a lot of, a lot of them were in their 40s.
00:16:53.860 And I used to work with these two women, Lily Pagan and Anita Man, that was her name. 1.00
00:17:01.100 And we would drive out to army bases and they would set up like a giant champagne glass,
00:17:07.440 you know, nails in their mouths, put it together, fill it with water and take a bath in it while
00:17:11.860 I told jokes, okay.
00:17:13.820 But they, I was like a son to them, right?
00:17:16.500 And they'd have the big, they had their head shaved, but they'd wear wigs, you know.
00:17:20.560 But I mean, big, strong women, you know. 1.00
00:17:24.540 So I'm on stage running.
00:17:25.700 She's in the bathtub doing this, right? 0.67
00:17:27.780 And the guy's heckling.
00:17:29.480 I mean, really, just yelling.
00:17:31.300 She just gets out of the tub, goes, oh, boom, breaks the guy's nose. 1.00
00:17:35.680 Blood all over the place.
00:17:37.280 She's got blood. 1.00
00:17:37.720 She gets back in the tub. 0.96
00:17:39.180 She's washing the blood.
00:17:40.240 The crowd is cheering.
00:17:42.140 And I'm just, I mean, that, I mean, that's what it was.
00:17:45.240 It was a great life.
00:17:46.380 It was very, you know, my friends are working at Wendy's and McDonald's covered in peanut
00:17:50.300 oil.
00:17:50.680 I'm working with strippers at 19.
00:17:53.620 I mean, I loved it.
00:17:55.120 It was a lot of fun.
00:17:55.980 And again, you don't realize how bad you are.
00:17:58.520 You don't realize if you're a good comedian or a bad comedian.
00:18:01.040 First of all, you have to learn how to talk in front of a crowd and get a stage presence.
00:18:06.140 To have that and the jokes at the same time is pretty rare.
00:18:10.100 So the fact that I was able to get stage time, I always tell young comedians, you know,
00:18:14.420 your church, your synagogue, your pub, if there's like a karaoke night, see if you can
00:18:21.440 MC it.
00:18:22.140 That way you don't have to be a professional comedian.
00:18:24.240 You're just on stage.
00:18:25.020 You say something funny.
00:18:26.000 Oh, good.
00:18:26.560 Say something else.
00:18:27.200 Oh, that's funny.
00:18:27.800 Okay.
00:18:28.380 As soon as you don't get a laugh.
00:18:29.520 Okay.
00:18:29.960 Let's bring on the next day.
00:18:30.920 You know what I mean?
00:18:31.360 Just to get that stage time.
00:18:33.100 And that's what was great.
00:18:34.420 So I love that era.
00:18:35.720 I mean, just, you know, once you punch that guy in the face, and he was a big one, just
00:18:41.320 boom, just get this guy. 0.63
00:18:43.220 And his friends are all laughing.
00:18:44.640 His nose is smashed.
00:18:46.320 There's blood all over the place.
00:18:47.840 I'm hilarious.
00:18:48.540 Yeah.
00:18:48.820 That's a hell of a microaggression right there.
00:18:50.760 Yeah, exactly.
00:18:52.640 But Jay, you also had a few brushes with the mob, didn't you, when you were doing those gigs?
00:18:58.000 Yeah.
00:18:58.320 I mean, you know, the real trick is you don't fall for the trap.
00:19:05.900 You know, I remember where I was at a place called Catch a Rising Star, which is in New
00:19:10.220 York.
00:19:11.060 And you got the real New York crowd, right?
00:19:15.200 And I come off stage.
00:19:17.240 I'm in the bar.
00:19:18.500 And this guy, it looks like somebody from the golf club.
00:19:21.540 Hey, kid, come here.
00:19:22.660 He goes, you're a funny kid.
00:19:24.280 He puts $100 in my breast pocket.
00:19:26.620 This was 40, 50 years ago with $100, $1,000.
00:19:31.460 And I said, no, no, give it to the church or something.
00:19:34.240 And he goes, no, no, no, no, no.
00:19:36.380 And I didn't take it.
00:19:37.320 And he goes, you know, you're smart.
00:19:38.900 You don't take money from people like me.
00:19:40.520 You're a smart kid.
00:19:41.300 And he goes, never bothered me again.
00:19:43.500 And you realize that's kind of how these things work, you know?
00:19:46.140 I know some people in showbinds, they want to hang out with thugs.
00:19:49.660 They want to think they're living the gangster life.
00:19:52.240 Hey, will you pick up this thing at the airport for me?
00:19:54.220 Just go pick it up.
00:19:55.500 You know, and then, of course, they get arrested or whatever.
00:19:57.520 I mean, you fall into the trap.
00:19:59.740 But I already realized by not taking that $100, nobody ever bothered me again.
00:20:04.560 Yeah.
00:20:05.360 So it's all right.
00:20:06.420 Yeah.
00:20:06.740 It's interesting that you say that because you look at people like Sinatra and then later
00:20:11.160 on rappers, they made that mistake.
00:20:13.720 Yeah.
00:20:13.900 Oh, some get through it, some don't.
00:20:17.180 But yeah, yeah.
00:20:18.000 It doesn't seem like a smart way to go, no.
00:20:20.340 No, absolutely not.
00:20:21.780 So how did you segue into TV?
00:20:24.080 Was it via the comedy store in L.A.?
00:20:26.600 Well, TV was always looking for comedians, especially in the 70s and 80s.
00:20:33.560 Stand-up comedy, not so much now on TV.
00:20:35.780 But back then, it was a staple of any talk show.
00:20:40.380 And there were afternoon talk shows or evening talk shows.
00:20:43.400 And to have a comedian who could do five to seven minutes, oh, that was the best.
00:20:47.340 So they would come see you, and you would audition, you know.
00:20:52.180 That's another part of the business I liked a lot because you always got more work from
00:20:56.280 other comedians than you ever got from an agent or a manager.
00:20:59.780 You know, the idea is, oh, it's this cutthroat business.
00:21:02.800 And I always see that portrayed that way.
00:21:05.940 I mean, Steve Martin brought Johnny Carson in to see me.
00:21:08.280 Harvey Korman brought Johnny in to see me a couple of times.
00:21:11.580 I brought Johnny in to see Ellen DeGeneres once I got a little bit of fame.
00:21:17.820 I mean, you can't do every job every day, every place.
00:21:21.220 So there's really enough work for everybody.
00:21:23.760 You know, every pub in the country has a karaoke night or a comedy night or something.
00:21:28.080 So there's plenty of gigs to do.
00:21:30.260 And comedians always helped one another.
00:21:32.200 I lived in Boston, which was odd because most comedians were in New York.
00:21:35.800 So my place was where comedians would stay when they came to Boston.
00:21:40.040 And I just decided, hey, to go to Boston, call this guy, Jay Leno, let you stay at his place.
00:21:43.480 Okay.
00:21:44.080 And that's how I got to know Billy Crystal and Freddie Prinze and all kinds of comedians.
00:21:48.620 Because Freddie Prinze, I mean, that was a, I mean, when you saw the documentary about the comedy store,
00:21:54.720 I wasn't aware of him.
00:21:55.640 I was only aware of his son because he's the same generation.
00:21:57.900 Right, right.
00:21:58.480 But you forget what an incredible comedian he was.
00:22:01.800 He was very good.
00:22:02.560 He was a young kid.
00:22:03.520 He was 17, 18 when he started.
00:22:06.540 But it was a classic couldn't-handle-the-fame thing, you know.
00:22:11.720 I mean, rather sad.
00:22:13.620 And he didn't kill himself.
00:22:16.080 Ultimately, it was deemed an accident.
00:22:17.920 But he had a, you know, Freddie would, like, put a bullet in the gun and say to the girl, 0.99
00:22:22.000 I'm going to go kill myself, bang, fire it in the sand, and then pretend to be dead. 0.99
00:22:24.960 And then she'd scream. 1.00
00:22:25.920 And, you know, just weird, just weird, you know.
00:22:30.680 And one time, there was a bullet in the gun.
00:22:33.580 And that's when he killed himself.
00:22:34.680 That's when he died.
00:22:36.140 I mean, that's what I think happened.
00:22:38.680 And ultimately, that's what the insurance company, I believe, ruled it.
00:22:41.920 And, Jay, you mentioned being able to handle fame.
00:22:44.220 There are clearly some people who can and some people who can't.
00:22:46.820 Do you have any thoughts on why it is that some people are able to take it in their stride
00:22:51.340 and others really struggle?
00:22:52.240 Well, you know, that's the great thing about doing The Tonight Show.
00:22:54.360 Because I could be around show business without living it, you know.
00:23:00.560 You know, I love Charlie Sheen.
00:23:02.700 Charlie Sheen's a friend of mine.
00:23:04.400 I don't want to be Charlie Sheen.
00:23:06.220 So being part of Charlie Sheen.
00:23:07.740 You know, one day, we had Charlie Sheen booked on the show, man.
00:23:11.260 So the show was taping at 5 o'clock.
00:23:12.840 And I go, boy, it's 4 o'clock.
00:23:15.080 Charlie, are you here yet?
00:23:15.740 No.
00:23:16.740 Then the phone on my desk for me, Jay, I got a phone call.
00:23:19.240 Charlie Sheen, what?
00:23:20.460 Jay, man.
00:23:21.480 In the limo, we got T-Bone.
00:23:24.380 Are you all right?
00:23:24.840 I'm okay.
00:23:25.660 Okay, yeah.
00:23:26.240 But, oh, man, they caught fire, the whole thing.
00:23:28.720 You all right?
00:23:29.300 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:29.740 All right, look, Charlie, don't worry about it.
00:23:31.200 Well, I'll get a comment, get somebody to film.
00:23:32.700 Say, Charlie had an accident.
00:23:34.200 You know, call a comedian.
00:23:35.660 Let's get somebody.
00:23:36.360 Okay.
00:23:37.940 I got the news, huh?
00:23:38.980 I don't hear anything about it, you know.
00:23:41.040 So I go, let me call the driver, you know.
00:23:43.780 Now it's like quarter to five.
00:23:45.580 Hello?
00:23:46.380 Joe?
00:23:46.780 Yeah, it's Jay.
00:23:47.640 Yeah.
00:23:48.800 Who are you?
00:23:49.380 He said, I'm sitting outside Charlie Sheen's house.
00:23:51.160 He hasn't come out yet.
00:23:52.200 You didn't get T-boned in a limo?
00:23:54.380 What?
00:23:54.760 No.
00:23:56.000 And I called Charlie.
00:23:57.080 I go, Charlie, what are you, two?
00:23:59.240 There's a monster under there.
00:24:01.360 You don't think I'm going to check that you're in a limo
00:24:03.200 or got T-boned and it caught fire?
00:24:05.580 And that's why. 1.00
00:24:06.660 I mean, it was so stupid. 1.00
00:24:09.800 You know, not like, oh, I'm sick. 1.00
00:24:11.520 Oh, okay.
00:24:12.840 But the idea of the limo and you got T-boned,
00:24:14.760 it burst into flames and the police fired.
00:24:17.240 Yeah, just hilarious.
00:24:18.240 I mean, so that's what was fun about doing the show.
00:24:21.320 I could live that life and enjoy it without having it affect me.
00:24:25.980 Yeah.
00:24:26.580 And, you know, I was thinking about this when we were coming here
00:24:29.680 to interview.
00:24:30.140 You've been married since 1980.
00:24:32.020 Right.
00:24:32.440 You're not, you know, you don't drink or take drugs.
00:24:35.560 Is that right?
00:24:35.860 No, no.
00:24:36.320 I'm sorry about that.
00:24:38.300 You know, I just have no interest in it.
00:24:40.280 Yeah.
00:24:40.440 It doesn't interest me.
00:24:41.840 It's not like I'm on some moral high horse.
00:24:44.400 Sure.
00:24:44.520 No, no, no.
00:24:45.120 It's just not.
00:24:45.720 I was always, I'm a car guy.
00:24:47.400 So I was always a designated driver.
00:24:49.620 So losing my license would be the biggest fear of my life.
00:24:52.800 You know, so consequently, I was the guy that drive all my drunk friends around.
00:24:55.880 That's fine.
00:24:56.360 And then roll them later and take their money.
00:24:58.300 Yeah.
00:24:59.040 But, no.
00:25:00.240 But, yeah.
00:25:01.780 This is your addiction, basically.
00:25:03.400 Yeah.
00:25:03.520 Yeah.
00:25:03.560 This is it here.
00:25:04.340 Yeah.
00:25:04.700 And how did you get into cars?
00:25:06.120 What was it?
00:25:07.020 Well, you grew up in New England.
00:25:08.440 And there were always broken snowmobiles.
00:25:10.260 You know, in America, you could buy cars for $25 or $50.
00:25:15.200 Cars that were really not that old, five or ten years old.
00:25:17.900 Yeah.
00:25:18.000 Because there were just so many cars in America that there were stuff.
00:25:22.360 Cars would be abandoned in the field.
00:25:23.920 It wouldn't take a lot to get them running.
00:25:25.660 And that's what we did.
00:25:26.700 You know, in those days, I remember we found a Renault 4CV, which is a small, you know.
00:25:32.860 And we had three acres in our, we didn't live on a farm, but lived in a rural area.
00:25:36.980 But, so, we would drive around about.
00:25:38.860 I mean, now, of course, they call child services and the parents would go to prison and you
00:25:43.460 can put it in a foster home.
00:25:44.500 But my mom would just watch out.
00:25:46.020 We were like 11.
00:25:47.120 My mom would watch through the kitchen window while she's doing ditches. 1.00
00:25:50.220 And we would just drive the Renault around, you know.
00:25:52.640 And we rolled it over a couple of times, stuff like that.
00:25:55.400 And so, that's where it sort of comes.
00:25:57.400 Plus, when you work with your hands, you tend to get more of an appreciation how easy it
00:26:01.720 is to talk for a living.
00:26:03.480 You know, the idea that the heart is healthy when the head and the hands work together,
00:26:07.540 that kind of thing.
00:26:08.260 You know, so you work and you go out and you stand on stage.
00:26:10.820 Oh, God, this is so much easier than taking a transmission out.
00:26:14.300 Yeah, that's such a profound point.
00:26:17.220 I think that's part of the problem of our society, Jay, is that very few of us work with
00:26:21.500 our hands.
00:26:22.080 We're all in our head.
00:26:23.360 Right.
00:26:23.680 And that's why we've come up with these crazy ideas or we get offended by things that
00:26:28.540 we shouldn't get offended about.
00:26:30.000 Yeah, so is me.
00:26:30.720 Because we're not connected to the reality anymore.
00:26:33.680 I suppose that's true.
00:26:35.360 Yeah.
00:26:35.680 Yeah, I think there's a certain amount of truth to that.
00:26:39.100 But again, like I said, it's low self-esteem.
00:26:41.160 You don't think you're the smartest.
00:26:42.420 I'm so fortunate to make the kind of money to afford all this stuff.
00:26:46.960 You know, please.
00:26:48.460 You know, I don't think, oh, I'm really good.
00:26:51.540 No.
00:26:52.380 Because what are you doing on the truth?
00:26:54.080 That's my favorite thing when I talk to young comedians.
00:26:56.140 You know, I never ask people, I always take the job and ask what it pays later.
00:27:02.440 Yeah.
00:27:02.780 You know, like when I was doing The Tonight Show.
00:27:05.120 Now, at the time, I was a guest host.
00:27:08.800 And there were maybe a half a dozen or more comedians that were also guest hosts.
00:27:15.360 And I was the seventh guy out of the six.
00:27:20.800 And those six are all represented by the same manager.
00:27:23.740 And that manager called me and said, listen, we're going to Johnny Carson.
00:27:27.440 And we're going to ask $25,000 a show to host.
00:27:31.980 And I said, oh, OK.
00:27:33.340 You know, I'm getting $512 a show to host, which was scale.
00:27:37.220 Yeah.
00:27:38.020 He said, no, we're getting it.
00:27:39.160 I said, you're getting it?
00:27:39.700 Yeah, we got it last week.
00:27:40.960 If so-and-so, we got it with so-and-so, whenever they host.
00:27:43.160 I said, you know, I'm going to stick with the $512.
00:27:47.480 All right, make a mistake.
00:27:48.900 All right.
00:27:49.420 Well, guess who gets named permanent guest host?
00:27:53.060 I mean, Johnny owns the show.
00:27:54.840 OK.
00:27:55.620 Now, these guys, it's costing us $250,000 a month.
00:27:59.480 Lolo costs us $2,500 a month.
00:28:01.700 They all doing about the same?
00:28:02.840 Yeah.
00:28:03.780 Why don't we go with Lolo?
00:28:04.980 OK.
00:28:05.920 And then the money comes later.
00:28:07.560 You know, I always meet comedians that just, I'm not working for that kind of money.
00:28:11.400 What are you doing on a Tuesday?
00:28:13.160 It's worth $5,000.
00:28:14.600 Really?
00:28:15.120 Really?
00:28:15.860 And that's all that's been my attitude about it, you know?
00:28:18.820 If you're any good, the money will come later.
00:28:21.700 Plus, there's a joy in doing it.
00:28:24.000 I mean, the same show I do for a charity, Benefit and Free, is just as joyous to do as one that's
00:28:31.940 paying you a lot of money in Vegas.
00:28:33.720 And sometimes it's more fun, you know?
00:28:35.380 So, if that makes any sense.
00:28:36.960 That makes perfect.
00:28:37.760 You really love the job.
00:28:39.660 Yeah, I think it's great fun.
00:28:40.840 I really like it.
00:28:41.920 I like the challenge of it.
00:28:43.240 I like, but you know, you have to like people.
00:28:45.860 I'm amazed at the number of comedians I meet that just don't like people. 1.00
00:28:49.600 I don't want to deal with those jerks, you know? 0.99
00:28:51.580 No, I've not seen anybody after the show. 0.99
00:28:53.260 No pictures.
00:28:54.540 Well, somebody goes out of their way to pay, you know, a lot of money to come see you.
00:29:00.960 Why would you not want to please thank them and say hello?
00:29:03.900 It's why I don't sell swag.
00:29:05.500 I mean, oh, you should sell t-shirts and photos afterwards.
00:29:08.780 You know, they've got another way to buy a ticket.
00:29:11.020 I'm not going to hit.
00:29:11.540 Oh, it's another 10 bucks to shake my hand.
00:29:14.040 Thank you.
00:29:14.780 You know, it just seems a little, uh, yeah.
00:29:17.480 Did you ever think you'd be here?
00:29:18.960 No.
00:29:20.120 No.
00:29:20.700 I never thought I would be here.
00:29:22.120 No. 0.96
00:29:22.860 It's the most ridiculous thing in the world to me. 0.96
00:29:25.680 I mean, I suppose on some level I probably thought, wouldn't that be nice? 0.94
00:29:29.760 But not, not in any real world.
00:29:32.960 I mean, yeah, no, no, it never did.
00:29:35.860 So that's why I am eternally grateful, you know, because like I say, you know, when I,
00:29:41.780 when I got the Tonight Show, I hired the best writers I could find and the best lighting people.
00:29:47.080 And I listened to them. 0.99
00:29:48.320 When they told me I sucked, okay, I guess I sucked. 0.99
00:29:51.960 So what do we do to change? 0.99
00:29:53.160 You know, I had the same crew for 22 years.
00:29:55.680 I know so many comics that go through writers and they don't let the writer find your voice,
00:30:00.240 take a chance.
00:30:00.980 You know, I never hired anybody for 13 weeks.
00:30:03.380 I would hire them for a year because it would take nine months sometimes for them to go,
00:30:08.260 oh, I think like, I would say, just write down everything.
00:30:11.860 Even if it's not a punchline, even if it's just a setup, a store that sells this.
00:30:17.060 Okay.
00:30:17.900 Maybe someone of us can come on.
00:30:19.360 And that really worked out pretty good for me.
00:30:22.040 So based on what you're saying, you sound like a really nice guy, Jay. 1.00
00:30:26.320 Hey, fuck you. 1.00
00:30:29.460 That will be the moment from this interview that everyone's going to love. 1.00
00:30:32.820 Someone telling me to go fuck myself. 1.00
00:30:34.480 Go for it. 1.00
00:30:35.020 But it's a very powerful message because what you're talking about is humility.
00:30:38.480 And you see, you know, in any field or any particular career, the moment people lose touch
00:30:46.820 and they stop being humble.
00:30:48.660 Right.
00:30:49.000 That's the moment.
00:30:49.960 Oh, yeah.
00:30:51.000 You can trace it.
00:30:52.840 I am so amazed at the just typical thing and then the drugs.
00:31:00.700 You know, I always say behind every successful man, there's a woman. 1.00
00:31:05.280 Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two women. 1.00
00:31:08.760 And that's usually what happens.
00:31:10.460 It just makes me laugh.
00:31:12.780 You know, whether it's Justin Bieber or something.
00:31:14.960 Okay.
00:31:15.120 Then they go through the obligatory drug stage.
00:31:17.780 And then, you know, it's hilarious.
00:31:19.720 It just makes me laugh.
00:31:20.760 Because how did you steer a path through that, though?
00:31:25.880 How did you steer through?
00:31:26.860 Because you're very self-deprecating.
00:31:28.980 You're very affable.
00:31:30.240 You're a nice guy.
00:31:31.300 But when everybody's telling you, hey, this is Jay Leno.
00:31:33.900 You're a big shot.
00:31:35.000 How do you stop yourself?
00:31:35.880 Well, first of all, you don't have those people.
00:31:38.400 When I travel, like I'm in Florida this weekend, I travel by myself.
00:31:43.000 Because when you travel by yourself, funny things happen.
00:31:46.000 But funny things don't happen when you have somebody, advanced team, go ahead and clear
00:31:51.700 everything out of the way.
00:31:53.580 You know?
00:31:54.200 I mean, and you have to find the humor in that.
00:31:58.460 You know?
00:31:59.020 The idea is that you have, you know, I have a place in Rhode Island.
00:32:04.560 And I was there the other day.
00:32:06.960 And I always go to Joe's Pizza.
00:32:09.980 Just a little place that sells wings. 0.81
00:32:12.960 Okay.
00:32:13.580 So someone said, hey, you got to try this Nicholas Pizza.
00:32:16.000 All right.
00:32:17.540 So I go to Nicholas Pizza.
00:32:18.540 Oh, there's a line.
00:32:19.240 That must mean it's good.
00:32:20.680 I go, Jay?
00:32:22.380 I go, hey, it's Joe.
00:32:24.020 What?
00:32:24.480 You know, Joe's Pizza.
00:32:25.540 Hey, Joe, how you doing?
00:32:26.700 He goes, what are you doing here?
00:32:28.740 I go, so I just lie.
00:32:32.040 I go, you know, I had a coupon.
00:32:35.040 I figured I'd try to use a coupon.
00:32:37.620 And he says, coupon?
00:32:40.300 Hey, we all agree we wouldn't use coupons. 1.00
00:32:42.560 That son of a bitch using a coupon. 1.00
00:32:43.780 And now I go, wait, hang on, hang on. 1.00
00:32:46.460 Now I'm in this lie. 1.00
00:32:48.120 I'm in this stupid lie. 1.00
00:32:50.800 You rather just say, oh, I want to try another pizza. 1.00
00:32:54.220 You know, I'm trying to dig myself out of it.
00:32:56.640 And finally I said, look, no, actually, I just want to eat.
00:32:59.320 But that's what I mean.
00:33:00.080 Those things don't happen when you have somebody get your pizza for you.
00:33:04.980 You know what I mean?
00:33:05.580 I mean, that's sort of, that's really the fun part of it.
00:33:09.520 It's just, you meet the oddest people, you know?
00:33:13.120 Like I get, like when I go back to New England, which is a very quirky,
00:33:17.380 I don't know what the equivalent would be in England.
00:33:21.860 But I get what they call Boston compliments.
00:33:27.040 This is a real compliment I got.
00:33:29.920 I'm walking down Newberry Street and this guy goes, hey, Jay Leno,
00:33:32.740 my friend met you in California. 1.00
00:33:34.740 He said, you're not an asshole. 0.99
00:33:37.020 And I said, oh, well, thank you very much. 0.99
00:33:38.700 And then he goes, no, really?
00:33:39.900 He said you weren't.
00:33:41.140 I said, well, please tell him thank you very much.
00:33:43.360 And I realized that's as good as you're going to get.
00:33:45.680 You know, to his world, that was a compliment.
00:33:49.640 And it just made me laugh.
00:33:50.960 I wasn't offended by it.
00:33:52.440 But it's just funny.
00:33:54.120 Nobody would say that to me if I had to finally some bodyguards
00:33:57.240 or people walking with me.
00:33:58.980 If I hadn't been walking by myself, that wouldn't have happened.
00:34:02.220 And I thought, well, that was, that just made me laugh.
00:34:05.320 It just was so typical of New England, that quirky, Yankee kind of thing, 1.00
00:34:10.280 you know?
00:34:10.520 Yeah.
00:34:10.740 I mean, Massachusetts, back in the 80s,
00:34:14.180 they wanted to pass a mandatory seatbelt law.
00:34:16.580 Well, it's against freedom.
00:34:18.280 And they were selling T-shirts that had a fake seatbelt on it.
00:34:23.360 So when you're driving and a cop saw you,
00:34:25.300 it looked like you were wearing a seatbelt.
00:34:27.140 To go to all this trouble, I mean,
00:34:30.460 that's the mentality that you're dealing with.
00:34:32.260 To show that you're for freedom, freedom to have your head
00:34:35.500 go through the windshield.
00:34:36.560 It always made me laugh.
00:34:37.700 So, yeah, that's why I don't have people travel with me
00:34:45.620 because the funny things don't happen any.
00:34:48.460 By the way, that backhanded compliment,
00:34:50.860 in England, that's a compliment.
00:34:52.760 That's how we do it.
00:34:53.800 Right, right.
00:34:54.180 You can't just praise somebody.
00:34:55.480 You can't just say you're great.
00:34:56.540 That's unacceptable.
00:34:57.320 I love the English thing of noble failures
00:35:00.180 are somehow better than successes.
00:35:01.860 Oh, it failed.
00:35:02.700 Sorry, man, that's terrible.
00:35:03.820 Come on. 0.99
00:35:04.680 Oh, you prick, you big successful. 0.99
00:35:06.960 Yeah, very funny. 0.99
00:35:08.860 Yeah, we hate success in the UK.
00:35:11.160 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:35:12.560 Have you noticed that?
00:35:14.300 I do notice it.
00:35:15.860 Stranger in a Strange Land is my favorite thing.
00:35:18.960 I love watching immigrant comics come to America.
00:35:22.660 Who was the comedian?
00:35:23.860 A Chinese gentleman.
00:35:25.420 He had a whole bit.
00:35:27.500 I just watched him the other night
00:35:28.740 about America's napkins.
00:35:30.080 I need napkins.
00:35:30.880 When they go to fast food face,
00:35:32.080 they take all the napkins.
00:35:33.560 And I just, I said, why didn't I?
00:35:35.280 Why didn't I think of that?
00:35:36.820 Because I'm an American, so it was second nature.
00:35:40.240 But whatever I want, like Russell Peters,
00:35:41.800 same thing, very funny.
00:35:43.380 The American's reaction to whatever it might be,
00:35:46.820 the immigrant experience, it always makes me laugh. 1.00
00:35:49.840 Yeah.
00:35:50.820 That is a really important thing for a comedian
00:35:54.120 to have that outside eye and also to like people.
00:35:59.080 And that's what I got when I used to watch your show
00:36:01.120 is it was so obvious that you liked talking with people.
00:36:04.700 Yeah, you know, and the whole political correctness thing
00:36:07.140 was never really a problem for me
00:36:08.780 because I don't, I mean, my attitude,
00:36:13.560 I find when you have a crowd, they think it's a crowd.
00:36:18.720 They will side with the heckler
00:36:20.580 unless you do something really clever.
00:36:23.700 But for the most part, but whenever I would get hecklers,
00:36:27.000 I remember at times I had just an enormous fat guy
00:36:29.240 and I was making fun of his tie
00:36:32.200 and I could see he was waiting for the fat guy joke.
00:36:36.020 I never did one.
00:36:37.200 And then he got ready and he sat down again, you know,
00:36:41.500 because he realized, I didn't go for the throw.
00:36:43.540 I didn't have to kill him. 0.59
00:36:45.440 I just had to gently prod him a little bit.
00:36:48.440 And, you know, when people sense you're not being cruel,
00:36:51.340 then now the audience sides with you.
00:36:53.620 You know, working in an audience
00:36:54.660 is like working with an orchestra.
00:36:56.940 You have to learn.
00:36:59.040 You know, I remember when Hillary Clinton
00:37:01.000 was running for president the last time, not this time.
00:37:04.160 She was running against Jesse Jackson
00:37:06.240 and all the other candidates.
00:37:08.280 And I had a joke about each candidate.
00:37:11.360 And the Jesse Jackson joke was not about him being black,
00:37:14.800 but as a candidate.
00:37:15.960 The joke about Hillary Clinton
00:37:17.380 wasn't because she was a woman,
00:37:18.740 but because she was a candidate.
00:37:19.900 But when I got to the Hillary Clinton joke,
00:37:21.760 I'd hear this,
00:37:22.740 this guttural kind of guy laugh.
00:37:27.740 And I think, oh, do they think I'm making fun of her
00:37:30.280 because she's a woman running for president? 1.00
00:37:31.720 And I see women would get sort of standoffish, 1.00
00:37:35.360 misinterpreting.
00:37:36.200 So I just took the joke out
00:37:37.480 because I didn't like where it went.
00:37:40.360 You know, you just,
00:37:41.480 it's like hearing a bad note in an orchestra.
00:37:44.260 Just get rid of that note.
00:37:46.360 Just take it out, you know?
00:37:47.580 So you want to have to,
00:37:50.300 to me, the best audience is one
00:37:51.800 that's totally integrated.
00:37:53.860 A lot of male, a lot of female,
00:37:56.280 a lot of different minority people.
00:37:59.000 It just keeps everybody honest.
00:38:00.560 I mean, I'm sure you know,
00:38:01.920 as a comic,
00:38:02.880 playing an all-male audience,
00:38:04.740 that's the worst.
00:38:05.880 Because unless you're doing sports jokes,
00:38:09.000 they don't want to hear it, you know?
00:38:10.980 You know, the women keep the men in line, you know? 1.00
00:38:13.180 And if you get the women laughing, 0.83
00:38:14.540 oh, no, the men like you too
00:38:16.040 because my date like you, you know?
00:38:17.400 So you have to learn to sort of
00:38:19.160 work the room, you know?
00:38:23.140 Sometimes you can, you know,
00:38:25.580 win the battle but lose the war.
00:38:26.920 And who are your favorite guests
00:38:28.780 to talk to on your shows?
00:38:30.700 Well, I always like politicians
00:38:32.540 because, you know,
00:38:33.440 when you're talking to Batman,
00:38:34.660 it's not really Batman.
00:38:35.920 There's a guy playing Batman, you know?
00:38:38.540 One of my favorite, yeah,
00:38:39.860 I remember Hillary Clinton
00:38:41.840 had the nomination locked up.
00:38:44.400 The election was like 25, 30 weeks away.
00:38:48.360 All of a sudden, this guy, Barack Obama,
00:38:50.140 shows up and gives a speech
00:38:52.120 and people are impressed, you know?
00:38:54.100 So I said, let's call him.
00:38:55.480 So I call him up and say,
00:38:56.320 hey, we'd love to have you on the tonight show.
00:38:57.440 Oh, thanks, Jay.
00:38:58.880 He drives himself to the show,
00:39:00.520 you know, he's got a jacket
00:39:01.300 over his shoulder.
00:39:03.180 He walks down to the,
00:39:04.120 Jay, my name is Barack Hussein Obama
00:39:05.360 and I'm running for President of the United States.
00:39:07.240 I say, okay, a black guy from Chicago,
00:39:10.040 his middle name is Hussein,
00:39:11.280 nobody ever heard of him.
00:39:12.140 You don't even need to campaign.
00:39:13.340 I think you're just going to win that.
00:39:14.820 And he thought that was the funniest thing.
00:39:16.880 And we got to be friends, you know?
00:39:19.100 So he gave me his cell phone number.
00:39:21.700 Next time he was on the show,
00:39:22.780 he was President of the United States.
00:39:24.560 And this time the whole parking lot
00:39:26.860 was tented for like two acres.
00:39:29.720 So when the presidential limousine
00:39:31.700 came in from a satellite,
00:39:32.860 you couldn't see where it went under the tent.
00:39:35.700 And it was the first time
00:39:36.760 the president of the country.
00:39:38.320 And this is why you have 1.00
00:39:40.000 the same stupid friends you had 1.00
00:39:41.580 when you were growing up. 1.00
00:39:42.860 I was talking to some of my high school buddies.
00:39:44.540 I said, you know,
00:39:45.500 when President Obama gave me his cell phone number,
00:39:47.600 let's call it.
00:39:50.440 I said, I'm not going to call it.
00:39:52.020 I said, you don't have it.
00:39:53.760 You don't have it. 1.00
00:39:54.500 Shut up. 1.00
00:39:55.440 I said, no, you shut up. 1.00
00:39:56.700 I'm not. 0.67
00:39:56.960 Okay, now you're like in fourth grade.
00:39:58.600 I said, no.
00:39:59.660 I said, what?
00:40:00.400 I said, what's that?
00:40:00.900 Okay.
00:40:01.940 Okay, it's 12 o'clock.
00:40:03.020 That's 3 o'clock back here.
00:40:04.800 I said, you want me to go?
00:40:05.400 I'll go.
00:40:06.180 I said, I doubt it.
00:40:07.880 Right here.
00:40:08.660 Barack here.
00:40:09.520 Mr. President?
00:40:10.160 Yeah.
00:40:11.100 Jay Leno.
00:40:11.660 Jay, what can I do for you?
00:40:13.740 Should I lose this number?
00:40:14.980 Lose the number, Jay.
00:40:15.740 Click.
00:40:16.060 And he hangs up.
00:40:16.580 And it was just like the funniest thing.
00:40:18.840 It was like the funniest thing.
00:40:20.060 It just made me laugh. 1.00
00:40:21.340 But again, the same stupid friends you had in high school. 1.00
00:40:25.640 Do you like talking to politicians? 1.00
00:40:28.120 Well, I just like it because it's real.
00:40:30.060 Yeah.
00:40:30.440 You know, with a movie, you always have to do that.
00:40:33.180 And you were good.
00:40:34.280 The movie's awful.
00:40:35.400 You were incredible in one scene.
00:40:38.940 Sean Connery was one of my favorites.
00:40:40.860 Yeah.
00:40:41.300 I like Sean because he was not James Bond. 1.00
00:40:46.660 I mean, he was the tough son of a bitch, that guy. 0.92
00:40:49.960 I mean, he had been a, did you know who was third runner-up, Mr. Universe, 1953? 0.99
00:40:55.240 Yes.
00:40:55.860 Yeah.
00:40:56.280 I mean, he was, and he would come into the Tide show, hey, Jay, Jay, what's the latest filthy
00:41:02.860 joke going about, Jay?
00:41:04.160 You know, and I'd tell him the joke, and he would laugh like a pirate.
00:41:07.260 Whoa! 0.71
00:41:08.480 Whoa! 0.71
00:41:08.760 Like, I mean, like the most hardy, and you always hear the term, that's a knee slapper. 0.70
00:41:14.700 He's the only guy ever to actually slap his knee and do that.
00:41:18.340 And he was just, he was the only guy when he came to the Tide show, because we had these
00:41:22.740 little tiny dressing rooms.
00:41:23.900 He was the only guy who would take a shower at the studio.
00:41:27.820 And he would sing, oh, Scotland, da, da, da, da, da.
00:41:30.840 And the news too, good.
00:41:32.380 Hey, keep it down down there.
00:41:33.420 It's not me.
00:41:33.920 It's Sean Connery, you know?
00:41:35.160 And Sean Connery would be singing in the shower.
00:41:36.820 And he was just very funny, just very funny.
00:41:39.680 He was a tough guy.
00:41:41.140 Yeah.
00:41:41.440 He was a tough guy.
00:41:42.240 In fact, one time, did you ever hear of a guy named Johnny Stampanato?
00:41:47.620 Johnny Stampanato was a gangster who was going out with Leonard Turner.
00:41:51.540 Craig Ferguson told me this story.
00:41:52.720 It was very funny.
00:41:53.860 And Sean Connery had a small part in the movie.
00:41:56.280 And she was sort of flirting with Sean, because he's a handsome guy.
00:42:00.840 Johnny Stampanato pulls a gun on Sean Connery. 0.52
00:42:03.900 He takes a gun, smash up the side of the head. 0.98
00:42:07.420 Don't bring a gun to me workplace. 0.91
00:42:09.980 He empties all the bullets out and gives them back the gun.
00:42:12.740 Yeah.
00:42:13.020 I mean, yeah, just great.
00:42:14.280 It's great.
00:42:14.920 Yeah.
00:42:15.160 Yeah.
00:42:15.540 It's, in some ways, have we lost a little bit of that?
00:42:19.200 You have lost a little bit of that.
00:42:20.360 I mean, that's, you know, my mother's from Scotland, the most conservative woman you could imagine.
00:42:26.800 She's the only man.
00:42:28.040 You know, Jamie, that's Sean Connery.
00:42:30.040 That's a real man, Jamie.
00:42:31.280 I go, ma, I don't want to hear it.
00:42:32.540 That's a real man, Jamie.
00:42:33.840 Ma, I don't want to hear it, ma.
00:42:35.260 You know, she never talked like that about anybody.
00:42:38.260 But, oh, Sean Connery.
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00:43:43.580 I mean, the world you're describing, particularly from the early days, is so different to the
00:43:49.840 world that we have now.
00:43:50.960 Yeah, it is different.
00:43:51.920 But I mean, that's, is it progress?
00:43:53.860 I don't know.
00:43:54.600 You know, I mean, I don't know how you, you know, it's funny because everybody said,
00:44:00.540 well, someday Big Brother, you know, it's going to be terrible.
00:44:04.000 But nobody thinks Big Brother is watching Big Brother.
00:44:07.840 You know what I mean?
00:44:08.340 I mean, I remember, you remember the Rodney King thing, the incidents?
00:44:12.740 Okay.
00:44:14.420 To me, that was the day newspapers died because that was the first time news went unfiltered
00:44:19.660 because when you saw the Rodney King thing on the news, they said, uh, six black men in
00:44:25.880 a Hyundai were driving 115 miles an hour, which is impossible for a Hyundai from that period.
00:44:30.180 And they got pulled over by police and da, da, da, da, da, da.
00:44:34.100 Because in those days, you had a news editor who would look at film and go, boy, this is,
00:44:39.940 this is explosive stuff.
00:44:41.560 This is going to incite riots.
00:44:43.380 Let's just make, you know, like, for example, in Boston, a woman was never raped.
00:44:48.440 She was accosted. 0.99
00:44:50.020 So that could be anything from a wolf whistle, somebody pinching your ass, you know, it wasn't, 0.99
00:44:55.140 you know, they just wouldn't use the term. 0.98
00:44:56.900 So the Rodney King guy, he, he filmed it from his, from his porch and he sent it right to
00:45:04.160 the internet.
00:45:04.920 And that was the first time, maybe not the very first time, but certainly unfiltered
00:45:09.400 news just went up to people, well, that's not what we just saw in the 11 o'clock news.
00:45:13.060 They said, these guys are speeding and all this other kind of stuff, you know?
00:45:16.500 So, so we live in a world now, it's better because what used to be the law is now against
00:45:22.600 the law, which is good.
00:45:23.860 But unfortunately you just see all of it.
00:45:26.240 I mean, the classic story is shock attack are, are, are up 100%.
00:45:32.400 Okay.
00:45:33.180 You had three last year.
00:45:34.380 You have six this year.
00:45:35.960 Rather than just say that, the new shock attack, 100% people, oh my God, get the kids out of
00:45:39.880 the pool.
00:45:40.300 You know, people are worried.
00:45:42.420 Get the kids out of the pool. 0.63
00:45:44.880 I know exactly what you mean.
00:45:47.180 We get fed the stuff and then we overreact in response to it.
00:45:50.600 Right.
00:45:50.620 Exactly.
00:45:51.120 Yeah.
00:45:51.280 Exactly.
00:45:51.580 So I think, see, I, I'm an optimist.
00:45:54.260 I think things, I think what happens is the elite have come down a step or two and everybody
00:45:59.800 else has come up a level or two, which I think is great.
00:46:03.900 I mean, you now have protections, you know, like when you watch the comedy animal house,
00:46:10.060 which is done in 79 is a funny scene where they're in this, we're in the fraternity and
00:46:16.420 there's the Muslim kid and the Indian kid and everybody's just making fun of them, you
00:46:21.820 know, which wouldn't happen today.
00:46:23.920 And I suppose it was funny back then, but not if you're Indian or Muslim, you know, uh, 1.00
00:46:29.080 those kinds of things.
00:46:30.180 Does it go a bit too far sometimes?
00:46:31.760 Yeah.
00:46:32.100 Okay.
00:46:32.400 But that's what happens with the pendulum.
00:46:34.160 Sometimes the swing is too far, that's too far.
00:46:36.060 Right.
00:46:36.140 But ultimately I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.
00:46:40.960 And are you on social media?
00:46:42.200 Do you use social media?
00:46:43.140 No, I try not to, you know, I, I, I, someone said, you should send some of your jokes out
00:46:49.080 and I did it and everything just got so misinterpreted.
00:46:53.660 It just, you know, just people mad about things.
00:46:57.260 I was telling him a story before I was in a, uh, Chinese restaurant with my wife, small
00:47:02.860 family restaurant.
00:47:04.520 Mom was running the register and sit like 12 tables and the rest of the family's the 1.00
00:47:09.680 cook in the back.
00:47:10.440 Okay.
00:47:11.280 I'm talking to my wife and the woman, the older lady is just bringing the order. 0.98
00:47:16.300 I said, man, this woman's really working her ass off. 1.00
00:47:19.160 And since this is, this is right near UCLA, the college, a female college student said,
00:47:23.340 ah, she's a server. 1.00
00:47:25.880 And I, I said, well, then she, a woman first. 0.99
00:47:29.920 I said, you know, I, I try to watch what I say.
00:47:32.620 I didn't say waitress.
00:47:34.000 I didn't say chick.
00:47:35.980 I didn't say stewardess.
00:47:38.160 And if I had said server, I would expect you to say, she's a woman, because I'm defining 0.98
00:47:43.440 her by her jaw. 1.00
00:47:45.460 So isn't she a woman? 1.00
00:47:46.680 I didn't say girl.
00:47:48.100 And she, this, and Sarah credits, she said, well, I guess you're right.
00:47:51.340 I go, well, okay.
00:47:51.960 But I mean, you jump on me.
00:47:53.840 First of all, I'm having a conversation with my wife, you know, and I said, I'm not mad
00:47:58.460 or anything, but I just don't, I don't see your point.
00:48:00.420 Why would you be a server before she's a woman? 1.00
00:48:02.580 And then eventually, yeah, but okay, no problem.
00:48:06.880 But I mean, that's the world you live in.
00:48:08.260 People are offended for somebody else.
00:48:10.720 I'm not offended, but I know, you know.
00:48:13.500 And I think it's so interesting.
00:48:15.020 You say you don't use social media because people misinterpret things.
00:48:18.380 I think maybe that's why a lot of people feel like we live in a time where people are really
00:48:23.540 easily offended or whatever, because we all now live on social media where everyone is
00:48:27.640 bitching and moaning and fighting about everything. 0.99
00:48:30.060 Right, right.
00:48:30.880 Yeah.
00:48:31.120 And I realized one person has the power of 10,000 people.
00:48:38.240 And if one person says you're a Nazi, well, now you have to defend yourself, which seems
00:48:43.720 ridiculous when there's no, you know.
00:48:45.400 The number of people I meet that now believe we did not walk on the moon. 0.83
00:48:50.940 All right.
00:48:52.020 All right.
00:48:52.560 I mean, it seems ridiculous, but that's the one.
00:48:56.000 And what do you think about comedians getting into trouble for jokes and cancellations?
00:49:02.660 Do you think that's the pendulum going too far?
00:49:04.960 Do you think that's another correction?
00:49:06.040 Well, I think, you know, well, the idea of a rape joke has the same career penalty as an actual rape.
00:49:15.400 That doesn't seem fair.
00:49:20.540 You know, I mean, if you do a joke about rape, you're canceled, all your TV appearances are gone,
00:49:26.640 or whatever it might be.
00:49:27.940 If you actually commit the crime, same penalty, same penalty.
00:49:32.920 So, I mean, I don't know what the answer is there.
00:49:35.640 I mean, you know, Louis C.K., I think, is hilarious.
00:49:40.640 Yep.
00:49:41.100 What he did seemed odd to me.
00:49:43.020 I mean, the idea.
00:49:45.400 The guy's bragging about it. 0.99
00:49:46.180 See that blonde over there with big boobs? 1.00
00:49:48.160 I brought her back to my apartment. 1.00
00:49:50.240 Went in the other room and jerked him. 0.82
00:49:54.400 Like a legend.
00:49:56.440 I don't see.
00:49:57.440 That doesn't seem like something I would brag about.
00:49:59.820 But, okay.
00:50:01.100 But, I mean, was his crime the same as Harvey Weinstein?
00:50:06.140 Yeah.
00:50:06.440 No, but the penalty is the same.
00:50:08.020 So, I don't know.
00:50:09.400 I mean, I'm sure I'll get in trouble just for saying this.
00:50:11.800 Yeah.
00:50:12.980 It's, we seem to be, this is my issue with it, and see if you agree and push back if you don't.
00:50:18.660 It seems to me that we're living in a world without nuance, where everything is either black or it's white. 0.95
00:50:23.380 Well, yeah, exactly.
00:50:24.660 Yeah, that's exactly true.
00:50:26.520 That's exactly where it is.
00:50:27.900 Like the lady with server, woman. 1.00
00:50:31.120 Why are we even having this discussion now?
00:50:33.020 Well, you mentioned you're an optimist.
00:50:36.200 Yeah.
00:50:36.420 What are you excited about, Jay?
00:50:37.940 What am I what?
00:50:38.760 Excited about.
00:50:40.180 What am I excited about?
00:50:41.560 Yeah.
00:50:42.040 Oh.
00:50:43.600 Oh.
00:50:44.020 I mean, your show is crushing it on YouTube.
00:50:45.940 I'm very jealous.
00:50:47.960 Yeah, we're doing fine.
00:50:49.280 I mean, I believe you're only as good as your last joke.
00:50:52.420 Mm-hmm.
00:50:52.800 Really.
00:50:53.900 You know?
00:50:54.580 You know, it's so funny.
00:50:55.500 Like, I stopped doing political jokes because the people get so mad.
00:51:02.120 They want to know the joke first before they laugh.
00:51:04.840 Is this pro-Trump or anti-Trump?
00:51:07.180 They want to know where you're coming from.
00:51:09.380 So, I'm trying to write jokes that are political but without politicians.
00:51:15.280 Let me try one of your two words.
00:51:16.900 Please.
00:51:17.040 All right.
00:51:18.960 This guy, he's like a young Barack Obama, charismatic speaker, new guy in his party,
00:51:23.680 picked Democrat or Republican or Tory or whatever.
00:51:26.400 Okay.
00:51:27.000 So, he gets invited to the big presidential nomination convention in New York.
00:51:31.440 And he flies to the night, walks into Madison Square, got 30,000 people sold out.
00:51:36.660 Eight o'clock, the vice president goes on.
00:51:38.260 Crowd goes crazy.
00:51:39.060 Nine o'clock, the president goes crazy.
00:51:41.100 Then the senator, then the mayor, then the police chief, then the postmaster general.
00:51:45.660 And finally, the guy looks at his watch.
00:51:48.400 He's got a speech in his hands.
00:51:49.960 It's 1.30 in the morning.
00:51:52.120 Place is completely empty.
00:51:53.200 All 30,000 people are gone.
00:51:55.740 He looks behind him, sitting in the same row, four seats, but a guy's sitting like this
00:51:59.360 watch.
00:52:00.660 He says, you know something?
00:52:02.000 That guy stayed.
00:52:03.900 That guy stayed.
00:52:04.700 I'm going to give him my speech.
00:52:06.440 Is it those 30,000 people still here?
00:52:08.320 Because that guy stayed.
00:52:10.240 So, he goes, and we must move forward.
00:52:11.780 And America must see this.
00:52:13.500 He talks about half an hour.
00:52:14.840 He comes up to the stage.
00:52:15.420 The guy's still sitting there.
00:52:16.280 He goes down and says, sir, can I ask you a question?
00:52:18.320 What made you stay for my speech?
00:52:20.600 Guy says, oh, I speak next.
00:52:23.200 I mean, it's a political joke.
00:52:25.620 Yeah.
00:52:25.820 And when I tell the audience, that's what I'm going to do, then everybody laughs at it.
00:52:30.640 I don't lose half the crowd.
00:52:32.060 Yeah.
00:52:33.080 That's so interesting that that's the direction you're moving in, and see if you agree with
00:52:37.180 this.
00:52:37.380 But when I watch late night comedy shows now, it feels like they've moved in the other
00:52:41.760 direction.
00:52:42.280 They're leaning into making a point about the other two.
00:52:45.220 Well, you know what's so funny?
00:52:46.060 People seem to say to me, boy, I bet you regret leaving The Tonight Show and not Trump's
00:52:49.800 president.
00:52:50.700 Now, you know something?
00:52:51.540 When you like people, it's so much easier to make fun of them.
00:52:55.500 Yeah.
00:52:55.840 When you don't like them, and I don't like Trump, and not political, just morally unfit
00:53:01.900 to the office, it's hard to keep your rage.
00:53:07.740 Okay, now you're, okay, are you telling me this because of political reasons or because
00:53:13.320 you think it's really funny?
00:53:14.380 I mean, there's always, a joke should be pure.
00:53:16.840 It should just be, just pure jokes, you know?
00:53:19.720 That's the great thing I was telling about Rodney.
00:53:21.440 Rodney Dangerfield and I were great friends.
00:53:23.640 I know in 40 years, I have no idea if he's Republican or Democrat.
00:53:26.300 He just had simple, my favorite joke, he said, I went to my doctor.
00:53:32.520 My doctor said, I want a urine sample, I want a semen sample, and I want a, and I want a-
00:53:38.120 Stool?
00:53:38.420 Stool sample.
00:53:39.440 So I gave him my underpants. 1.00
00:53:42.600 It's just a stupid joke. 0.99
00:53:45.420 I mean, it's really funny. 1.00
00:53:47.140 I mean, it's just, just pure, just, just, the joy is in the joke.
00:53:52.240 I have no, I meet so many comments going, I just want people to understand how I feel.
00:53:56.300 I feel about, I don't think anybody cares how I feel about an issue.
00:54:00.480 We're in the feelings age now, though, Jay.
00:54:02.420 Like, everyone is putting all of themselves out there for everyone to see.
00:54:06.000 Yes, but not everybody, not as successful as Rodney was.
00:54:09.980 No.
00:54:10.260 Because it was just, Rodney worked both sides.
00:54:12.560 Just did jokes.
00:54:14.340 I thank you, here's a joke, thank you.
00:54:16.440 You know, Rodney Dangerfield had an incredible story.
00:54:19.080 Because this is a guy who, when he started out, he failed at his job.
00:54:23.300 He failed at becoming a comedian, went away, came back.
00:54:27.400 Well, you know what it was, because his face did not look like his act.
00:54:32.180 Yeah.
00:54:32.380 I remember, I've known Seinfeld for years, and Jerry and I are really good friends.
00:54:37.840 And when Jerry's like 21 years old, he looks 14.
00:54:41.140 And he had a joke about, you know, when you bring a hooker back to your apartment, 1.00
00:54:43.880 I go, first of all, nobody believes you ever got a hooker. 0.69
00:54:46.380 Nobody believes you should go back to your apartment.
00:54:47.620 And we both laughed at it, because he looked so, he didn't look like what he was talking about.
00:54:51.980 Yeah.
00:54:52.520 You know, so that's the thing.
00:54:53.980 And Rodney, he started out as a comic, and he had a muse named Joe Ansis.
00:55:01.600 You ever heard this name?
00:55:02.540 No.
00:55:03.040 Okay.
00:55:03.900 Joe Ansis was one of those guys, the funniest guy of everybody, stage fright to death.
00:55:10.400 So he would sit, he would do table comedy.
00:55:13.720 He'd sit with Lenny Bruce and Rodney and all the guys, and he would just say stuff.
00:55:17.620 And guys, whoa, can I buy that?
00:55:18.940 Can I have that joke?
00:55:19.640 Can I have that?
00:55:20.080 And that's where he was.
00:55:21.260 Like, I knew Rodney when Rodney didn't do no respect.
00:55:25.700 He did, like, little bits.
00:55:28.560 He had a bit about, this kind of comedy has sort of fallen out, but he says,
00:55:34.200 as your captain speaking, we're on flight so-and-so at TWA Airlines.
00:55:38.820 Flying over the Grand Canyon right now, look out the left side of the plane,
00:55:42.740 you can see the remains of flight 419 that crashed just six years ago.
00:55:47.280 Bob, you were with me on that one, weren't you?
00:55:48.980 You know?
00:55:50.760 I mean, that's what he, you know, just those sort of character little pieces like that.
00:55:54.820 And then, I don't know if it came from Joe Ansis, but that whole thing about no respect
00:55:58.380 and starting to look like his act, it really came out of that.
00:56:01.880 I'll tell you a funny Rodney story.
00:56:04.200 So, my favorite thing was when I watched Rodney on with Johnny,
00:56:08.320 and Johnny would be the straight man.
00:56:10.320 Things are rough, Rodney?
00:56:11.180 Oh, okay, Jake.
00:56:12.200 But last week, Johnny, I got to tell you, you know.
00:56:14.360 And then he goes, it was really cold.
00:56:16.000 How cold was it?
00:56:16.680 Oh, it was so cold.
00:56:17.680 You know, and just playing the straight man.
00:56:19.900 So, I dreamed of the day when I could do that with Rodney.
00:56:22.780 So, when I got to this night show, whenever I had Rodney on,
00:56:25.280 things are rough, Rodney?
00:56:26.260 Oh, Jay, I'll tell you, terrible, you know.
00:56:28.240 So, one day, about 2004 or 5,
00:56:32.000 now, Rodney's in his 80s now, and a little shaky.
00:56:36.620 And I have him on the tonight show, and he's doing his act, you know.
00:56:39.960 And he's a little off, you know, this gesture,
00:56:42.780 he doesn't know what I tell you.
00:56:43.760 But the hand was like over, just a few little mistakes.
00:56:47.540 Only another comic would notice it if you knew Rodney.
00:56:50.440 So, while he was doing his thing on the show, I said to Debbie,
00:56:53.220 I said, call the paramedics. 0.81
00:56:55.000 I think Rodney's having a stroke, you know.
00:56:56.940 She goes, really?
00:56:57.600 Yeah, just call him.
00:56:58.480 Okay.
00:56:59.300 So, Rodney finished.
00:57:00.220 He says, now, Jay, how are you doing?
00:57:01.380 I tell you, I'm okay today, but last week, you know.
00:57:04.340 And he was fine.
00:57:05.520 Okay.
00:57:05.800 And then the show ends.
00:57:06.900 Rodney's in this dressing room.
00:57:07.940 Now, the paramedics show up.
00:57:09.820 I said, Rodney, the paramedics are here.
00:57:11.200 Can they take a look at it?
00:57:11.900 I'm fine.
00:57:12.320 I'm fine.
00:57:12.560 Well, he did have a stroke.
00:57:13.860 And they took Rodney out in a stretcher.
00:57:17.420 And a couple weeks later, it got worse.
00:57:19.880 And his wife, Joan, called me.
00:57:21.360 He said, Jay, Rodney's in the hospital again.
00:57:23.240 So, I drive over to the hospital.
00:57:24.540 And Rodney's lying there like this.
00:57:26.140 Eyes are open.
00:57:27.260 And she says, the doctor says he can hear us, but he can't respond.
00:57:30.440 So, I'm telling him how much we love him, how great he was to all us young comics,
00:57:33.660 letting us work Rodney, the Rodney Dangerville nightclub in New York,
00:57:36.860 and how great he was to everybody.
00:57:39.920 So, his wife goes, Rodney.
00:57:42.060 Jay, put your finger in Rodney's hand.
00:57:45.480 She goes, Rodney, if you know it's Jay, try and squeeze his finger.
00:57:48.620 So, I put my finger in Rodney's hand, you know.
00:57:51.780 And I said to him, Rodney, that's not my finger.
00:58:00.000 And he did this.
00:58:01.540 He just moved for a second.
00:58:03.020 And his wife, he moved.
00:58:04.360 And to get a laugh out of Rodney in that situation, it just really made me feel good.
00:58:10.860 And Joan got it.
00:58:11.880 We weren't being mean.
00:58:13.440 It was just, he was a comic, you know.
00:58:16.000 But you know, Rodney, that's not my finger.
00:58:17.600 And he, nothing changed except he just did a twitch.
00:58:22.380 And he passed away, oh, probably a couple of days later.
00:58:26.440 But, I mean, it was great to get that reaction from Rodney.
00:58:29.580 I mean, he was a comic till the end, you know.
00:58:32.000 It's a beautiful story, Jay.
00:58:33.220 Oh, it's a wonderful story.
00:58:34.200 He's a great guy.
00:58:35.000 He's a great guy.
00:58:35.860 Beautiful story.
00:58:37.300 We were going to ask you a couple of questions from our supporters in a second.
00:58:41.160 But before we do, we always end the main section of the interview with the same question, which
00:58:44.320 is what's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be?
00:58:46.860 It's not my call.
00:58:49.600 It's your call.
00:58:50.260 The idea is, well, I feel that people have to know.
00:58:54.640 I mean, as a society.
00:58:55.820 That's my favorite thing is watching Jerry Springer.
00:58:57.920 I want everyone on national television to know about this guy.
00:59:01.620 Well, nobody cares.
00:59:03.020 Nobody cares.
00:59:03.440 What's the one thing we all need to know?
00:59:06.680 That's not my job.
00:59:09.120 You know, there's nothing harder than writing a joke.
00:59:15.240 I love it when I see comedians get TV shows where they're the inquisitive reporter.
00:59:19.520 You know why?
00:59:20.220 Because it's easier than writing a joke.
00:59:22.660 Everything's easier than writing a joke.
00:59:24.340 It's the hardest thing in the world to actually sit down and write jokes.
00:59:28.160 So they'll come up with any excuse.
00:59:30.720 I always hated it when I was, like, whenever I go on TV,
00:59:33.440 I do stand-up.
00:59:35.240 I don't come out and sit on the couch because people go,
00:59:38.820 as a kid, I would go, oh, I wanted to see them do comedy, you know?
00:59:44.760 No one is interesting.
00:59:47.420 What you do is interesting or what you have to say is interesting
00:59:50.160 or what you're singing.
00:59:51.480 But really, there are very few people that are that interesting.
00:59:55.400 So to me, you should bring something more to the party, you know,
01:00:00.220 if that makes any sense.
01:00:01.500 All right.
01:00:01.860 Head on over to Locals where we ask Jay your questions.
01:00:05.900 Kelly Francis says, oh, my God,
01:00:08.480 you must bring up the fact that Francis doesn't know how to drive.
01:00:13.040 Oh.
01:00:14.700 Oh, I wish I'd known that before we started this interview.
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