Jordan Peterson: Order and Chaos in 2021
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 52 minutes
Words per minute
160.65024
Harmful content
Misogyny
18
sentences flagged
Toxicity
39
sentences flagged
Hate speech
19
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, psychologist and author Jordan B. Peterson joins us to discuss his new book, Beyond Order: 12 Morals for Life, which explores the tension between the safety and boredom of order, and the danger and excitement of chaos.
Transcript
00:00:00.700
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Hello and welcome to Trigonometry. I'm Francis Foster.
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And this is a show for you if you want honest conversations with fascinating people.
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We're delighted to say that our guest today is a very special man.
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It is, of course, Jordan B. Peterson, author, psychologist, and an inspiration to a lot of people.
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He's just written a book called Beyond Order, 12 Morals for Life.
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Here it is. Thank you for the advance copy, Jordan.
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Thank you guys for the invitation. I'm very much looking forward to it.
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It's very kind of you to accept. Let's get straight into the book.
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First of all, one of the themes that you've explored most of all in your last two books is, of course, order and chaos.
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And that tension that exists, I think, within societies, but also within individuals, between the safety and boredom of order and the danger and simultaneously excitement of chaos.
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What is a healthy balance and how does one get there at an individual level, but also at the level of society?
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Well, I think you're actually calibrated to detect that healthy balance with the deepest of emotional and cognitive instincts.
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And I mean instinct. I think it's biologically based.
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So, you have two problems, at least two problems as a living organism in an environment that's too complex.
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You have to maintain security, but you also have to stay updated as things around you change.
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So, you want things to be stable because otherwise it's too unpredictable and dangerous.
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But things can't be stable completely because you don't know everything.
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So, you're stuck with the limitations of your knowledge.
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So, then the question is, well, how can you survive when you don't know enough and when the consequence of not knowing enough is danger?
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And the answer to that is you establish stability, but you explore.
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And so, you have the security that you need, but you update that security and keep it living.
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And the instinct that governs that, as far as I can tell, is the sense of engaged meaning.
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And why wouldn't there be an instinct for that?
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You obviously have to eat and you have to drink.
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There's these fundamental biological necessities.
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But you have to master the environment in order to do all of that.
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And then that leads you into the problem of security and exploration.
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And even if you look at it neurobiologically, the system, for example, that governs exploration is unbelievably archaic, ancient from an evolutionary perspective.
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It sits on top of the spinal cord, essentially.
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It's, in some sense, it's the master control system for motivation.
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It governs hunger and thirst and defensive aggression and temperature regulation and sexual arousal, these very, very fundamental attributes.
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And in that system, there's a neurochemical system that emerges out of it, which runs on a neurochemical called dopamine.
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And all of the drugs that people like to abuse, like cocaine, for example, activates the dopamine system.
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And so you can tell when you're in the right place doing the right thing because you're actively engaged.
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And that is a signal that the balance between stability and incoming information is optimized for you.
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Jordan, don't you think one of the problems that we've got in our society at the moment is we tend to celebrate chaos.
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We tend to celebrate because I associate creativity with chaos.
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But order is what is needed to get things done.
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And if you look at what is happening now within our institutions, our systems, it seems that order is unraveling.
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Well, look, the critique of order, which is its stultification tendency, right?
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Look, you zero out everything that's predictable, right?
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So, for example, if you're lecturing to people in any given room and you ask them to close their eyes and then you ask them to imagine the color of the wall on the right of them, most people can't remember.
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As long as the wall is standing, it doesn't matter what color it is.
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And right now, you and I, the three of us are talking and we're attending to the words.
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You're not attending to the fact that the floor beneath you is stable.
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But it's stable because you can rely on the engineers.
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And the engineers are encapsulated within a legal system that has certain building standards.
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And the reason that that floor is stable is because you live in this unbelievably developed country where you can take such things for granted.
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In fact, if you weren't, you'd be attending to everything at once.
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And, well, that would be absolutely overwhelming.
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And, again, in our society, too, it's very, very hard not to take things for granted, right?
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And I've tried to train myself to do that, partly by reading a vast amount, I would say, about what happens in societies when they become too chaotic.
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You know, we don't expect to see a riot when we go outside.
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But the riot, in some sense, is the default condition.
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And we're so protected that we're so protected as modern Westerners, let's say, that we don't even know what the walls guard us from.
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So, in The Lord of the Rings, for example, the hobbits are protected by these warriors, the striders, who patrol the borders constantly.
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And they protect the hobbits from all the darkness and unknown that's outside the kingdom.
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We're protected from things we don't understand at all by things we don't understand at all.
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We'll tear down the walls because we don't know what's behind them.
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But, you know, it's not an easy problem to solve.
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But wouldn't you also say that exposure to other cultures and society solves it?
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So, for me, my mother's from Venezuela, I've seen what happens when society unravels.
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I've seen what happens when bad ideas are allowed to run rampant.
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It's inoculated Constantine against this type of thinking.
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But wouldn't you agree that, in a way, we're privileged to use that word?
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Because most people in the UK or the US or Canada, they haven't been exposed to what happens when society unravels.
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But it does have the effect that we've been discussing, which is that people take things for granted.
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You want a tiny bit of freedom meted out in very calibrated doses on one dimension now and then.
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And you want everything else to be as stable as possible.
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And some people can tolerate more chaos than others.
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You know, if you're extremely open in your personality, that's the creativity dimension.
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So, you don't suffer from negative emotion in too excess amount.
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You can handle more chaos than someone who doesn't have those attributes.
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But still, most of the time, well, look, what do you want when you sleep?
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Just think about how difficult it is to set up a situation where you can reliably have temperature-regulated silence 100% of the time at night for your whole life.
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And, of course, unless you lose it, for some reason, you develop insomnia or you're in an unfortunate situation where you don't have that peace anymore, you won't even notice that that's a privilege.
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And that's partly, I guess, why my books concentrate to a large degree on gratitude.
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It's like so many things are going right while you forget about them.
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It's a fundamental purpose of education is to remind you what you have to be grateful about.
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And I think that's the proper basis of patriotism rather than pride.
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It's like, yeah, well, that kind of rubs on upon you.
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You know, it's like, rah, rah, England or Canada.
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And then, you know, that makes me part of what I'm shaking my fist in favor of.
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Thank God that I don't have to think about the damn floor.
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And, you know, you go to third world countries, badly run countries where the building standards are non-existent or the entire construction company infrastructure is corrupt.
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Well, then the earth shakes a little bit and you have to worry about the damn floor.
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I think in the context of this conversation, this is something that I've been thinking about because one of the shocking things to me as someone who was born in the Soviet Union, I remember talking to my grandmother, still alive.
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She lived through the German occupation of Ukraine.
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And I remember talking to her about her childhood.
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And she said, the thing that me and my girlfriends were discussing when I was 15 was, will we ever eat bread again?
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And that's why, for me, gratitude for everything we have here in the West has never been difficult.
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But I wonder, is there a way we can transcend the fact that I had to hear that from my own grandmother?
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How do we educate other people about what happens in this sort of society?
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What happens when you let identitarian ideologies take over these large swathes of Europe and Asia and come into conflict?
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What happens when this sort of way of thinking takes over?
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Because you've been very interested in the Soviet Union.
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But I don't see that happening, particularly with young people in the West these days.
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No, it was shocking to me that, so I lectured mostly to students about the Soviet Union, especially under Stalin, but certainly also under Lenin, about the horrors of the Soviet Union.
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I lectured about that in my personality class in the second year psychology course.
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And that was a valid enterprise because totalitarianism is a personality attribute in some sense as well as a social system.
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But it was often the first any of the students had heard of any of that, you know, which is to me was just absolutely, well, it's so outrageous that it's virtually unbelievable.
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Especially when you think that we put the entire planet at risk for 50 years, at risk of total annihilation because of what happened in the Soviet Union.
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And we're barely out of that if we're out of it at all.
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I mean, the Russians and the Americans still rattle sabers at each other.
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I think the possibility of anything other than an accidental nuclear exchange has decreased immensely since the mid-80s, let's say.
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But how is it that we could be so blind that we would forget to notify our young people that we fought?
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Like, the Second World War really didn't end until 1989.
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That isn't how the history books look at it yet, but that's the case.
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And it's just stunning that none of that is common knowledge.
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You know, there's a little bit more historical knowledge disseminated about what happened in Nazi Germany.
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But the deafening silence with regards to Maoist China, which is still an immense threat, not least in the form of North Korea and the Soviet Union, it's so remarkable that it's a kind of miracle.
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So, but it is the responsibility of the education system, as far as I can tell.
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I mean, it's the social responsibility of the education system.
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In terms of individuals, well, you know, now everyone has access to all the communication technology they could possibly want.
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And so, if you have a particular interest in making something known, you can just do it.
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You guys are obviously doing that with your YouTube channel and your podcast.
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I was going to ask you, actually, just as a personal thing, really, what made you interested in the Soviet Union?
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Why was, how were you drawn to reading about it and educating yourself about it, first of all?
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You know, I think, well, curiosity, just general curiosity is one driver.
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And I also have a proclivity towards depression.
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And I think that maybe that makes negative things hit me harder in general.
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Well, Russian history will help you very well with that, or literature, or anything else.
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So, I think that it's possible that I was sort of wired to take these things more seriously because they hit me harder.
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You know, like I noticed in graduate school, for example, that I was obsessed with the shortness of life.
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That was an idea that was in my head constantly.
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That it was not appropriate to waste time because time was fleeting and short.
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And I thought that pretty much every morning I woke up for years when I was writing my first book.
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And that was definitely a motivating force to write that book, which I really did on spec over about a 15-year period.
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But I had all sorts of friends in graduate school, and they were very smart people and admirable people as far as I was concerned.
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Hardworking and curious and good research scientists.
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McGill had an excellent clinical program, and I had an absolute riot.
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It was such fun going to graduate school there.
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But my friends weren't consumed by darkness the same way I was, even though they were clinically interested.
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I was obsessed with it, and specifically with the issue of individual motivation for atrocity.
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I was interested in the sociological elements of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union and Mao's China.
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My first degree was actually in political science, but I soon found that I was much more oriented towards Dostoevsky, let's say, than Tolstoy.
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I like Tolstoy, but Tolstoy is basically a sociologist, right?
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He writes about these wide swaths of sociological occurrences, sort of at the level of society.
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But I like Dostoevsky because he got inside people's heads.
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It wasn't how the concentration camps were set up politically or even what ideology motivated them,
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but what was the guard thinking when he pushed people to the right rather than the left?
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And it was always personal to me, and not even so much on the victim side.
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I always thought of it on the perpetrator side, because it was such a mystery to me.
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I mean, it transformed my personality entirely, I would say, studying that.
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Partly because I realized that you don't have to be that different than you are.
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And in some ways, you take yourself a lot more seriously when you understand that, right?
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As soon as you understand that you're a loose cannon, in a really fundamental sense, you start being more careful.
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And I think I became much more careful, perhaps, more careful with what I said, for sure, as much as I was able.
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And, Jordan, do you think part of the problem with today's society is that we don't acknowledge that we have this in us?
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We like to pretend on social media, on Twitter, whatever it may be, that we're this really moral, woke, good people without any shadow.
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But the reality is that we are all dark, we're all complex, we all have shadow within us.
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And the propensity to commit both beautiful acts, but also acts which could easily be described as evil.
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Well, I think that it's better to identify the enemy within than the enemy without.
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That doesn't mean that you should never identify the enemy without, right?
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Sometimes your group matters and the enemy is at your gates and you have to take action.
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But in peaceful circumstances, let's say, well, then I think it's an individual matter.
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And so this is one of the things that's made me ashamed of the universities in large part, too, I would say.
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Because there's such an activist culture in the university.
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You become adolescent and one of late adolescent on the steps into adulthood.
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And you're encouraged tacitly and explicitly by the university culture to protest, to find the perpetrators, to alter the system.
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It's like, no, I don't think that's a good idea.
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Yeah, I think there's something deeply wrong about that in all sorts of ways.
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First of all, you know, you don't know anything at that age.
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And look, the thing that we should make clear here, Jordan, is when we laugh at that, we're laughing at ourselves from 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, whenever it was for each of us.
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We know that we can laugh at the idea that students don't know anything because we were once students who didn't know anything.
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Absolutely. Well, and it's not like I don't take undergraduates seriously.
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I never thought of them as a burden to my research career, say.
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And my experience with undergraduates was you pretty much got back from them what you gave.
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So if you were intent on teaching, they responded unbelievably positively.
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And so it's not like I have contempt for undergraduates.
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And one of the things I really – I taught at Harvard for a while, and that was quite an experience.
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The university was exceptionally well run at that time.
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The undergraduates were at the top of the power hierarchy, and they were treated – and you could be cynical about it.
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You know, I used to joke that Harvard treated its undergraduates like baby 40-year-old millionaires.
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And part of that was pure economic calculation, right?
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Because Harvard has a huge endowment, and it has that endowment because it's so good at treating its undergraduates properly and selecting them as well.
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So it's a great deal for Harvard, especially if you're thinking over decades.
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But that's the right way to treat undergraduates.
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It's not as 18-year-olds who knew nothing but as future incredibly competent adults.
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But that still, having said all that, when you're 18, you haven't had a child.
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It's unlikely that you've engaged in the kind of long-term intimate relationship that requires adult-level compromise over, let's say, the years.
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You haven't worked, or if you have, minimally, and often not at all.
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So it's not time to be thinking, you know how to reconstruct the world.
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And why we think that's okay is just beyond me.
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And I figured that out when I was about 17, 16, 17.
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I worked for a socialist party when I was a kid.
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But I woke up one day, partly under the influence of this roommate of mine, who's still a really good friend of mine.
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And he was a little older when he went back to university.
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And he ended up working with, like, the worst delinquents in Canada.
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And he could really do that well because he was a tough guy.
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And he told me one day, you just don't know anything.
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Like, you have this theory, which was a socialist theory.
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But it certainly wasn't mine, although I knew it, and I could say it, and I could argue for it, and win the arguments for that matter.
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I noticed that I worked on this board, Board of Governors, for this little college I went to.
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And all the people on the Board of Governors had been appointed by the government, and the government was conservative.
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And so they were all small businessmen who'd done well on the frontier of Canada, essentially, because it was in this town called Grand Prairie, which was pretty new.
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A lot of them were immigrants because Alberta is an immigrant province.
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They'd all kind of lifted themselves up by their bootstraps.
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And I'd also worked for guys like that who owned, like, I worked in restaurants from the time I was 13 to the time I was about 17.
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And I admired those guys, even though I didn't agree with their politics.
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It was like, Jesus, here, I don't agree with them intellectually, but I admire them.
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And then I'd go to the socialist meetings, and I knew some, like, committed, working-class, hero, socialist types.
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But a lot of them were activists, and they just drove me crazy.
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They were whiny and resentful, and they weren't admirable at all, even though, hypothetically, we shared political view.
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And that was another realization that, well, I just didn't—
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I realized that I was, like, 16, mouthy, smart.
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So I figured I'd try to see if I could learn something before I dared to do anything political.
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But doesn't that speak to another quality, which is humility, which is something that frequently, in a lot of our young people, they're, you know, that are lacking as well.
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That ability to look in on oneself and realize that they don't know the answers.
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The fact that you may have this confidence, you may be bright, you may have the ability to articulate, you may be able to win arguments.
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Well, you know, it's not that easy to figure out that just because you win an argument—
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You know, if you win an argument, you think, well, I'm right, because I won the argument.
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I can tell you that's not going to go very far in your marriage.
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So one of the things I learned in my marriage quite quickly was that sometimes—
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Sometimes your best bet is to help your partner make the best argument they can to defeat you.
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Because just because you can win the argument doesn't mean you're right.
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It might be that your partner has got a handle on something.
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But their intuitions, their ability to detect patterns is spot on.
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And you can crush them verbally, let's say, or using other techniques at your disposal, whatever they might be.
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And you think, well, you know, I proved my point.
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But if your wife isn't on board, well, good luck for you.
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And just because you proved your point doesn't mean the world is going to accept that conclusion.
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And that's also something, I think, that we do a bad job of teaching young people.
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You know, because we teach them that if you win the argument, you're right.
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It's sort of the hallmark of being intelligent.
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And fair enough, it's better than losing the argument.
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Jordan, we were circling around the idea of socialism and communism a little bit.
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I wanted to ask you, given what you as a psychologist know about human beings,
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do you think that there is something fundamentally incompatible in that worldview with humanity?
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Or do you think, quote, unquote, it hasn't been tried properly?
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Oh, well, it hasn't been tried properly means that the world hasn't been fortunate enough to have me run it.
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What that means is, well, I understand this system deeply.
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And if those, if I was in charge or people like me, then it would work.
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That's, that's what would happen is you'd be wiped out by the next batch that were even worse than you.
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But, so, it's such an arrogant claim that it hasn't been tried properly.
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It's, so, but having said that, like, it's not, I understand the motivation for, like, the desire for an egalitarian distribution of valuable resources.
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So, systems have a tendency, Marx commented on this, but it's much deeper than Marx's realization.
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Systems have a tendency to radically distribute resources unequally.
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One reason is, as you get more, you're offered more.
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So, I'm in a position now where I am offered an indefinite array of opportunities.
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But once you're saturated with opportunities and your time is completely taken up, more opportunities can't be utilized.
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And so, and if you have money, well, it's way easier to make more money.
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But it's way easier to make more money once you've got started.
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And so, once you are educated, you have some capital, you have a connection network.
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And then, let's say, in addition to that, you're well known.
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And, but then on the other end of things, if you have nothing, well, you can't even afford to get started.
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So, like if you start a business, the most difficult customer to get is the first one.
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Once you have 10, getting 100 is not that hard.
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But getting from 0 to 1 is virtually impossible.
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It's a hole that's really hard to climb out of.
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And it's not good for society to have a lot of people at 0.
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So, there's this propensity for people to fall off the end and to degenerate down to 0.
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And another propensity for resources to aggregate in the hands of a very, very small number of people.
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And look, it doesn't matter what dimension you measure that on.
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So, if you look up among basketball players, you look at successful, you know, number of points scored.
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If you look at number of records sold, records produced, songs written, popular songs written.
00:29:45.780
It's like five composers account for 95% of the classical repertoire.
00:29:52.400
But it's only 5% of the music they wrote that's played.
00:29:57.920
And so, you see that happening in two ways there.
00:30:01.040
And the problem with that is that it produces this radical inequality in society.
00:30:07.300
And that's really unsettling because you have a mechanism that's very deeply embedded within you that runs, as far as we can tell, on serotonin, a fundamental brain chemical.
00:30:19.920
And the degree to which serotonin regulates your negative emotion is dependent on your status within the group that you strive for status within.
00:30:33.500
And what that means is that if you're on the bottom end of the status hierarchy, you're much more prone to negative emotion.
00:30:49.040
You'll develop all the age-related diseases faster.
00:30:51.840
It's a real calamity psychologically and physically.
00:30:55.760
And so, there's endless motivation to work against that tendency for resources to be distributed so unequally.
00:31:12.260
We don't know how to do it and simultaneously maintain creative and productive endeavor, for example.
00:31:18.320
So, because you want everything to be more productive, right?
00:31:24.900
Because you try to wipe out absolute poverty and maybe even give everyone you can a certain amount of luxury.
00:31:32.580
And maybe that's even better for the planet because richer people tend to take better care of the environment.
00:31:37.440
So, you want absolute wealth to rise and you don't want inequality to become too extreme.
00:31:43.580
But the systems that have been set up to manage that are not good at it.
00:31:50.780
And Marx, he attributed inequality to capitalism.
00:32:00.800
Well, inequality is intolerable psychologically.
00:32:07.320
But that doesn't mean we know what to do about it.
00:32:09.660
Jordan, let me just jump in there very quickly because this has always been the problem for me.
00:32:15.240
When I look at, like, free market right-wing people, I go, you expect everyone to pull themselves by their bootstraps.
00:32:25.600
Lots of them can't because we understand people have different IQs and different genetic basis and different experiences and childhood and whatever.
00:32:32.680
And on the other hand, you've got people on the left who say, well, inequality is intolerable.
00:32:39.060
But as you say, the systems that they try to apply in order to address that don't work and don't make any sense and create terrible outcomes.
00:32:50.880
Well, that's, look, the reason that I'm an advocate of free speech is that the golden middle moves.
00:33:03.680
Yesterday's solution isn't going to work today.
00:33:07.000
So, that golden solution is genuinely a mobile point because inequality even changes with time.
00:33:17.540
You know, and the conservative viewpoint is inadequate.
00:33:21.000
I was watching The Crown and the seasons with Maggie Thatcher, you know, and Thatcher is an extraordinarily conscientious person.
0.70
00:33:28.220
That's her fundamental attribute and that is a predictor of conservatism.
0.97
00:33:32.160
And that's dutifulness, industriousness, orderliness, by the book, patriotism, all of that.
00:33:37.640
If you want someone to run your company, you want a conscientious person.
00:33:42.080
If you want a teacher, you want a conscientious teacher.
00:33:47.880
That predicts liberalism, that predicts liberalism, that's openness.
00:33:50.840
In any case, Maggie Thatcher is extremely conscientious and she believes that hard work will get you there and that should be encouraged.
00:33:59.960
And everyone can pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.
00:34:06.780
If you look at what predicts people's success across time, this is where psychology is actually reliable as a science.
00:34:13.360
We know some of what predicts life outcomes and we know it validly and reliably.
00:34:21.760
And that accounts for about 25% of the differences in outcome between people.
00:34:40.300
Which, again, leaves a lot unexplained, but it's not nothing.
00:34:44.500
And then the third one is how sensitive you are to negative emotion.
00:34:50.100
So, it is definitely the case that if you took two people that are equal in some valuable domain,
00:34:57.840
the one that works harder is going to do better.
00:35:06.920
But, if you take two people of radically different IQ and they both work equally hard,
00:35:12.960
the person with the higher IQ is going to crush the person with the lower IQ.
00:35:17.900
And, you know, you said we know that, but we don't.
00:35:21.720
Because you can't even talk about IQ in modern society.
00:35:29.200
I know the IQ literature for a variety of reasons.
00:35:32.120
Partly because I built tests to predict performance and studied that for 15 years.
00:35:39.400
And my tests couldn't sell, at least in part because they actually worked and were too threatening because of that.
00:35:46.840
But, if you have an IQ of under 82, you can't be inducted into the American armed forces.
00:35:56.720
And the reason for that is the armed forces have done IQ testing for a very long time.
00:36:04.160
So, they're not going to throw away anybody that they can use.
00:36:07.200
They found that they couldn't teach anybody with an IQ of under 82 anything that made them valuable.
00:36:20.040
So, there's about as many people with an IQ of 82 or lower as there are of people who are capable of doing well in an institute of higher education.
00:36:34.360
So, and among that population, those who work harder are going to do better.
00:36:38.540
But, but, in a cognitively complex environment, they're at a marked disadvantage.
00:36:52.520
And fair enough, you know, it's like, it's a very hard problem.
00:36:55.340
And the liberals, they say, the liberals take the opposite tack, which is even more annoying in my estimation.
00:37:01.240
It's like, well, you can train anyone to do anything.
00:37:03.600
And that's, that's so wrong that, that it's hard to even know where to begin.
00:37:15.380
So, the Americans, in their war on poverty, ran a program called Head Start.
00:37:20.340
And Head Start was a program that everyone wanted to succeed, conservatives and liberals alike.
00:37:24.620
And so, the idea was, get disadvantaged kids early and enrich their education, say, between the ages of three and five, preschool.
00:37:33.600
And so, the Americans poured immense monetary resources into this project.
00:37:40.560
And, and it has been studied in terms of outcomes for decades.
00:37:46.680
And its goal was to increase cognitive performance.
00:37:57.360
So, the hope was, if you got the kids early and taught them, they'd get, they'd develop an advantage.
00:38:02.480
And then, that advantage would compound across time.
00:38:05.080
And it would ameliorate the worst effects of poverty.
00:38:14.620
But all the other kids caught up by grade three or four.
00:38:16.720
And then, after that, there was no differences at all between the Head Start kids and the non-Head Start kids.
00:38:20.820
Except, the Head Start kids were less likely to get pregnant and drop out of school.
0.99
00:38:27.000
But that looks like it was a socialization effect.
00:38:30.220
Probably, some of those kids were shielded against the worst of their family environment by being in daycare.
00:38:36.600
But there was zero effect on cognitive ability.
00:38:41.900
Because that was a large-scale social experiment.
00:38:51.020
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00:40:23.860
What you're talking about, Jordan, is actually the great taboo in education.
00:40:29.880
I was a teacher for many, many years, and my head, the head deputy head would go to me
00:40:36.880
in the primary school, why is it that, you know, this cohort aren't doing as well as last
00:40:43.100
And it was seen as taboo to just go, well, last year's cohort was smarter.
00:40:51.900
Look, it's the only thing psychologists have ever discovered, really, except for maybe the
00:41:02.640
To measure IQ, all you have to do is take any set of questions that require abstraction
00:41:09.260
And so you can take 20 questions, and you can do that, you know, better or worse, but
00:41:16.160
with 20 random questions, you're going to get a decent estimate.
00:41:19.340
So take 20 questions, ask 100 people the answers, sum up the answers, rank order the people,
00:41:25.760
and that'll be correlated with IQ at something like 0.8, 0.9, really high, really high.
00:41:32.540
And then that'll be predicted with their life, or that'll predict their life outcomes, like
00:41:42.160
That'll account for about 25% of the difference across people.
00:41:45.080
It's unbelievably powerful, and it's unidimensional as well.
00:41:47.960
You know, you hear all these appalling claims that there are multiple kinds of intelligences
00:41:54.520
and multiple kinds of learning styles and skills.
00:41:58.000
Look, people differ in their abilities, and they're not all reducible to IQ.
00:42:03.140
But in the realm of intellectual endeavour, it's one factor.
00:42:15.840
Let me ask this question, John, because I feel like it's begging to be asked, and you've
00:42:20.260
teased that you've put us in a position where I have to ask you this question, given the
00:42:26.640
And that question is, I mean, it comes obviously.
00:42:36.400
There is some kind of Pandora's box at the end of this conversation.
00:42:43.420
You know, we deeply believe that human beings are of equal value.
00:42:47.360
It's a predicate of, well, I think it's probably a predicate of human biology in some sense,
00:42:51.920
but maybe not, but in any case, because you could make a case that we're aristocratic
00:42:58.880
Certainly, it's the fundamental axiom of the West.
00:43:05.080
We're all of equal value in that transcendent sense.
00:43:12.040
Well, what we hope it means is that we're sort of roughly equal in ability or trainability
00:43:33.360
And also, what also isn't going to help is, you know, in Boston, for example, recently,
00:43:38.420
they shut down a lot of the gifted programs because the ethnic makeup of the classes was
0.99
00:43:46.900
It wasn't randomly selected, let's say, or it wasn't representative of the broader community.
00:44:03.040
In that situation, you shut down the gifted classes.
00:44:08.680
Are they for the gifted kids or are they for society at large?
00:44:13.600
There isn't anything more valuable than human intelligence.
00:44:17.900
And if we don't utilize it, well, then we let it go to waste.
00:44:23.300
It's a resource that we should maximally exploit, even for our own narrow self-interest.
00:44:42.680
You know, you can celebrate differences in athletic ability, and we certainly do.
00:44:48.280
We're very uneasy when we celebrate differences in intellectual ability.
00:44:55.700
It isn't part of the problem that we don't want to admit that we all have our limits.
00:44:59.900
We like to pretend that we can go out, we can achieve anything.
00:45:02.660
In fact, isn't that the basis of the American dream?
00:45:09.020
And that's not simply the world that we live in.
00:45:11.280
Well, this is a nice, upbeat conversation, inspiring people all over the world, isn't it?
00:45:25.260
For example, in general, the offspring of first-generation Asian immigrants to the U.S.
00:45:33.240
outperform the offspring of Americans, but also the offspring of second-generation immigrants.
0.99
00:45:44.720
It looks like it's because they work much harder.
00:45:48.120
And they work harder enough to give them what's roughly a 15-point IQ advantage equivalent.
00:45:55.080
And that's roughly the difference between a college student, average college graduate, say,
00:46:05.960
So, work hard, set your sights, you know, 60-hour weeks, discipline, all of that, no doubt.
00:46:14.540
But, you know, there are pretty pronounced individual differences in the ability to do that as well.
00:46:24.200
Even your ability to focus and concentrate in a disciplined way seems to be quite affected
00:46:40.720
And it's something that I used to talk about many...
00:46:42.580
We used to go over this again and again in the staff room all the time.
00:46:49.460
in a world of automation, you have these people who have got low IQs
00:46:53.780
and before they used to be able to go and do menial jobs in a factory
00:47:01.380
It's one thing that gives people a sense of purpose.
00:47:03.840
What are we going to do in a world of automation
00:47:11.460
Well, it looks like what we're going to do is give them phones.
00:47:16.240
Well, I mean, we all have that problem in some sense, right?
00:47:19.420
It's not like any of us is occupied fully by our jobs.
00:47:24.840
And so, we have free time, spare time, time to waste.
00:47:28.280
You know, I ask undergraduates on a pretty regular basis
00:47:33.140
And the average is something like six to eight hours a day, which is a lot.
00:47:41.640
And now, will that provide purpose and meaning and productivity?
00:47:54.500
The technology is so new and so rapidly changing
00:47:57.180
that all you can say is, well, look, it's really absorbing.
00:48:07.540
You wait till the AI algorithms learn how to manipulate your attention
00:48:14.840
Because that's coming down the pipeline so fast that, well,
00:48:21.460
And the VR headsets can read your eye movements.
00:48:23.700
And your eye movements are a direct pipeline to your attention.
00:48:27.560
And so, and the AI systems are going to figure that out real fast.
00:48:30.400
So, now, does that deal with the productivity issue?
00:48:39.220
Unless you're on the cutting edge, you can't monetize your action.
00:48:44.960
You know, you guys have this relatively new podcast.
00:48:49.620
You can monetize it because you're on the cutting edge.
00:48:52.760
In five years, people who start, it's going to be much harder for them
00:49:12.500
I think we've seen the impact of this modern technology
00:49:16.600
and particularly social media on the political landscape,
00:49:20.860
on the mental health landscape, on almost every area of our life.
00:49:26.520
Hey, I've got something horrible to say about that.
00:49:34.200
Well, I'll let you guys see what you make of this.
00:49:37.340
About three years ago, I was interviewed by The Economist.
00:49:44.760
And I said that men are, on average, more aggressive than women
1.00
00:49:55.460
boys are more likely to kick, hit, bite, and steal.
00:49:59.340
And that's not a bad operationalization of aggression, let's say.
00:50:05.000
a small proportion of the boys are that way at two.
00:50:12.080
but those that don't are stably antisocial and criminal
00:50:20.940
That's the developmental trajectory of aggression.
00:50:36.320
And most aggressive kids are socialized by the time they're four.
00:50:39.500
And if they're not, you can't socialize them after that.
00:50:42.060
That's also very interesting and rather disheartening.
00:50:58.140
So, well, we've seen what happens with social media.
00:51:06.980
Physical aggression doesn't translate to social media.
00:51:13.140
that translates to social media unbelievably well.
00:51:17.660
So, maybe it's time to have a little chat about toxic femininity.
1.00
00:51:26.220
with some of the questions we were going to ask you.
00:51:41.040
because I think this is an important part of it.
00:51:54.300
And of all the things you might say about her,
1.00
00:51:58.820
and you wouldn't say that she was poorly educated, right?
1.00
00:52:06.520
She took advantage of the education that was offered to her,
00:52:13.540
that mastering it makes you an expert at nonsense.
0.97
00:52:21.060
But let's just go with the she's intelligent point.
00:52:23.260
So, she should be able to understand your arguments,
00:52:36.920
come after you with a vitriol and a visceral...
00:53:26.720
The stage was set long before I walked into that.
00:53:30.460
And so, there wasn't even professional politeness.
00:54:02.200
You know, I was already in the position of a cat
00:54:22.060
because this is what I really wanted to ask you.
00:54:25.000
when Helen Lewis published a review of your book.
00:54:40.900
I don't like to get into this whole gender thing
1.00
00:55:16.700
that's probably the universal female experience,
1.00
01:07:34.860
nature if you put those things together that's the world of human experience and ideologies
01:07:42.600
stories for that matter use those characters but unless they use all of them there's a bias and
01:07:50.760
and the problem with the bias is that something important isn't being taken into account so for
01:07:56.240
example if you view the west as a patriarchal tyranny it's like fair enough man like how you
01:08:02.820
could you could advance evidence for that forever but well the lights are on and it's warm you know
01:08:12.420
so yeah the terrible tyrant but but how about a little gratitude for the benevolent king
01:08:19.040
the same goes for the natural world it's like well of course it's beautiful and it shouldn't be
01:08:25.260
despoiled but you know if someone dropped you naked in the middle of the jungle that isn't exactly how
01:08:30.400
you'd be thinking about nature because it'll eat you in no time flat and so it's it's doing
01:08:35.860
everything it can to destroy you at every second despite the fact that you're also dependent on it
01:08:40.700
for everything and so it's a religious view in my estimation takes all of those factors into account
01:08:46.820
it it and then it says you've got to strike the balance between the tyrant and the benevolent king
01:08:52.200
between nature as a destructive force and nature as a benevolent force between the hero that's the
01:08:58.040
individual and the adversary which is everything terrible about the individual i was gonna say
01:09:03.300
when it comes and i've thought about this a lot and i was wondering what your take on this is
01:09:07.580
to me when you look at a lot of religions it's about the fact that man is powerless before god
01:09:13.840
and the realization that you are weak fragile mortal and that you you need to worship god and salvation
01:09:21.960
lies in god but the identity ideology focuses you to focus in on yourself what is unique and different
01:09:30.420
about you which ultimately breeds a sense of narcissism and therefore a sense of dissatisfaction
01:09:36.600
and hopelessness as well have you become religious again mate yeah i know catholic school he sounds like
01:09:42.940
he's preaching right there well i would say there is that element to religious belief but there's also
01:09:49.300
the an element element in it generally speaking that's ennobling because there is the the constant
01:09:56.240
insistence in christianity for example that you do have the you know you are a creature of god you are
01:10:02.700
assigned a divine worth you have an immortal soul and you could be far more than you are and so there's
01:10:09.580
an ennobling there as well um so i think i think the religious viewpoint is salutary in the way that
01:10:16.380
you describe because it does attempt to remind you that there's something outside of you i do think that
01:10:21.160
the identity theory that's characteristic of um the woke movement let's say is narcissistic to its core
01:10:28.940
technically speaking it seems very egocentric and i had this sense when i was surrounded by protesters
01:10:35.560
at the university of toronto for example some of them were trans people who were
01:10:39.340
protesting me and you know my sense was you think that i'm your enemy but i see something wrong with
01:10:47.700
this that's going to hurt you it's not good for anyone else but it's also not going to help you
01:10:52.460
because it isn't right it isn't oriented property isn't gonna it isn't going to produce the results
01:10:57.500
that you want and so but it's it's it's taken me a long time to put my finger on exactly what it was
01:11:04.220
that was bothering me there might be more too but certainly the identity theory is is unbelievably
01:11:09.840
sparse and jordan do you think the the the trans issue which you you talk about which was sort of
01:11:16.880
the the star of this tourney that you've been on to some extent and you know i remember francis and i
01:11:22.280
when we started trigonometry two and a half years ago you know we were saying should we should we look
01:11:26.980
into this should we talk about this and we were like well this is an issue that affects at that time
01:11:30.980
very few people you know it's a it's a local issue for them it doesn't really have any impact
01:11:36.020
and yet over the last two and a bit years as we've educated ourselves on some of the implications of
01:11:41.840
this stuff having had trans gender and transsexual guests on the show and talked about all of this
01:11:48.240
it seems to me like with this trans thing where demands are now being made of us to accept things
0.97
01:11:55.740
that are so patently not true that is where a lot of people are now starting to become aware of this
01:12:03.680
as a breaking point because in and of itself it's not necessarily as i say an issue that affects a lot
01:12:09.400
of people but just that demand and you've talked about it in the context of the soviet union where
01:12:14.680
people were required to publicly declare things they knew were not true as a method of demoralizing
01:12:20.920
them more than anything it seems to me that we've almost got to that point is that how you feel about
01:12:25.700
it well i think you know another part of the reason that the bill that i objected to bothered me
01:12:35.020
because was because i saw it as part and parcel of a complete ideology and so it was sort of at the
01:12:41.400
vanguard of that ideology and i felt that once this had been established that increasingly
01:12:48.860
unreasonable demands would manifest themselves and i think that's continuing to happen um what would
01:12:58.040
i say about that well i i went over the identity issue that's that's kind of where my thinking has
01:13:05.320
progressed to with regards to that issue you it it it it's not solving the problem and at all as far
01:13:14.880
as i can tell and it's it's it and i don't think that the i don't think that it's been helpful to
01:13:21.240
further confuse young people about who they are so for anyone you might have straightened out and i
01:13:27.100
don't see any evidence for that yet i think there's likely a hundred people that have been left more
01:13:32.260
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well this is the worry for me because i i believe fundamentally in the pursuit of truth
01:14:41.460
and i believe that's important and i believe that people who who pretend to believe in things in public
01:14:47.820
that they know are not true are harming society i fundamentally believe that but on the other hand i also
01:14:53.400
want to combine that pursuit of truth with a compassion and and respect and tolerance for people
01:15:01.620
who who feel that they are quote unquote in the wrong body and whatever and i i've been trying to
01:15:07.820
square that circle in my head for for years i'm trying i'm trying to understand how one does that
01:15:13.320
and i don't i don't know that i have the answer quite yet do you no i wouldn't say so um i just found a
01:15:21.020
limit point for me the limit point was i'm not going to say words that ideologues want me to say i don't
01:15:26.440
care what the reason is and i suppose part of the reason why it's justifiable to hate me i suppose is
01:15:31.740
because that looks like it's uncompassionate you know what's the harm and i was asked that a lot well
01:15:37.100
what's the harm in going long you know these poor people are are having great difficulty well i'd have
01:15:43.760
to believe that movement in this ideological direction was likely to help them you know before
01:15:49.880
i would consider compassion appropriate grounds to go along with it i don't believe that i think the
01:15:55.620
the whole the whole notion is so ill conceived i looked at all the background documents that were
01:16:01.420
associated with the law and all that did was further my conviction that there was something
01:16:06.900
deeply wrong about what was happening and even it wasn't going to help the people that it purported
01:16:13.500
to help i couldn't see any evidence for that it's really hard to help people you know it's really
01:16:18.720
easy to make things worse and there was certainly nothing built into the law to assess whether this
01:16:25.040
change was actually going to be beneficial it was just the assumption well we know how to reconstruct
01:16:29.620
things so the world will be better it's like no you don't it's it's way easier to make things worse
01:16:36.160
than better especially when you're messing around with something as fundamental as gender identity
01:16:41.120
you know which children usually have reasonably well established by the time they're three
01:16:46.400
you mess with that at your peril as far as i'm concerned so and then you know you've seen this
01:16:53.500
spread of of gender transition surgery yeah um we've covered it we've had someone from the
01:17:00.800
tavistock clinic on our show a whistleblower from that uh place where a lot of this stuff was done
01:17:05.940
uh look it's it's an impossible circle to square isn't it i just i don't know we seem to be stuck
01:17:13.640
in this loop uh and i don't know how it gets resolved and i'm deeply troubled that you you know you say you
01:17:20.460
haven't squared that circle either i really am well the problem of of how to fit in is a permanently
01:17:29.240
insoluble problem you know we all sacrifice our pound of flesh to adopt a persona that makes us
01:17:37.200
acceptable socially there's huge benefit in that no we wouldn't be able to talk if we didn't use the
01:17:43.660
words that dead people uttered we we were were the beneficiaries of socialization as well as the
01:17:50.680
victims and the victim element of that is permanent there's no and for some people it's much worse than
01:17:56.640
for other people because it's harder for them to match their temperament to the social demand
01:18:02.480
but it's very seldom the case that radical social transformation is the answer to that problem
01:18:09.720
because those radical social transformations tend to go sideways in in unexpected ways
01:18:16.540
isn't part of the problem jordan that we try and be compassionate with people and sometimes when
01:18:25.520
you're compassionate and i've seen it when i was a teacher where teachers try to be compassionate
01:18:30.020
and actually whilst trying to be compassionate you end up making the easy choice or the weak choice
01:18:36.440
which in the long term ends up damaging people more well look if you look at the way people's
01:18:44.100
personalities are structured um you kind of have two exploratory dimensions openness so that's creativity
01:18:52.540
maybe that's exploration of the realm of ideas and extroversion and that's social landscape
01:18:59.620
exploration and then you have three dimensions that are more associated with stability and those are
01:19:09.740
negative emotion that's neuroticism agreeableness that's compassion and conscientiousness and
01:19:18.060
conscientiousness and agreeableness are both social virtues and you might ask well why do you need
01:19:24.120
two social virtues why isn't one enough compassion well the answer is i think the answer is probably time frame
01:19:33.000
so conscientiousness think of margaret thatcher conscientiousness is a cold virtue it's like
01:19:42.580
why do i have to take this medicine because it's good for you will you force it down my throat
01:19:50.600
if necessary well won't that hurt my feelings yes but if you don't take it you'll die
01:20:00.900
and that's a conversation in some sense that you have with sick children
01:20:06.100
you know and compassion compassion is for infants now that doesn't mean that and having said that
01:20:16.440
let me make no mistake about the fact that we're often reduced to the state of infants so if you're
01:20:23.240
extremely ill and you need to be taken care of right in some sense you've been reduced to the state of an
01:20:29.820
infant and that compassion is necessary for you but conscientiousness it says well this is hard but
01:20:40.080
if you do it it'll be better next week or next month or you can make these sacrifices now and
01:20:46.860
society will benefit as a consequence you can forego this gratification which is very frustrating
01:20:53.380
and but the long-term consequences will be better and so compassion isn't enough and so if you bring
01:21:01.540
in a conscientiousness virtue which might be judgment for example or justice which are both
01:21:06.720
conscientiousness virtues then you're it's easy to seem cold-hearted and we were talking about
01:21:12.920
squaring the circle it's well we don't know how because mercy and justice often conflict right but
01:21:20.000
they're both necessary principles so why can't everybody just do what they want to all the time
01:21:26.720
well that's sort of an agreeableness question that's a compassionate question and the answer is well it
01:21:30.840
just it doesn't work over the long run it it generates and deteriorates i mean i'll give you
01:21:37.360
an example of the conflict um i remember one time my daughter got ill she was about three and she got
01:21:45.200
this mouth infection that was really quite brutal she had a really hard time swallowing for about two
01:21:50.620
weeks it was very painful and so we let some of our rules relax like we let her come into bed with us
01:21:58.420
for example and we let her be more dependent than we had previously and no wonder because she was
0.95
01:22:05.720
suffering dreadfully but there was a huge price to be paid for that when she got healthy again
01:22:10.900
because we had to go through the training again and we learned then well that we learned that was an
01:22:18.400
an object lesson in the price to be paid for excess compassion in the final analysis it wasn't a helpful
01:22:24.880
move and so and the problem with with with agreeableness with compassion too is that it
01:22:31.360
announces itself so self-evidently as a virtue that if you if you wave a flag and say well wait here's the
01:22:38.160
limit case for that it's almost impossible for you not to be regarded as cold-blooded and and and harsh
01:22:44.500
you know and women are more agreeable than men so they're more compassionate and
01:22:51.300
more polite than men and the probability that that's associated with their the necessity for
0.98
01:22:58.920
them to be extremely patient with extremely dependent infants is very very high but that
01:23:07.300
doesn't mean that it's the right principle to be used to govern your relationship with adults
01:23:12.160
and i can't help but see the spilling over of agreeableness into the campuses for example
01:23:18.360
manifesting itself in claims like well this is a home this is a place where people should be
01:23:24.160
comfortable this is a place where people should feel welcome and everyone should be included and
01:23:28.900
well fair enough those are virtues but it isn't obvious that they're the right virtues for a university
01:23:36.720
or they're certainly and even if they are they're certainly an incomplete set of virtues
01:23:41.740
what about beauty and excellence uh what about um discrimination the ability to make value judgments
01:23:50.740
you know that just that word itself has become a curse in some sense to be discriminating well that
01:23:57.840
means you have judgment you can tell the difference between what's good and what isn't and that means
01:24:03.340
you have to admit that some things aren't good and that's not compassionate jordan and you've been uh
01:24:09.040
out of the game for a while we're so glad to see you on good form and doing well one of the things i
01:24:14.800
wanted to ask you is kind of a lot happened in the time that you were away i hold you slightly
01:24:20.280
responsible for that because things were going all right and then you go away for a year and a half
01:24:24.260
and then things go downhill uh you must have obviously you've had a terrible experience and i joke but
01:24:30.080
when you came back and you started paying attention to the things that had happened in the world
01:24:35.340
what was your first reaction when you saw the the blm protest what the trump election and all of that
01:24:42.960
everything we've seen in the last year or so what was your first thing that you went you looked at it
01:24:49.720
i don't know if i i don't know if i can answer that um
01:24:58.020
i think i'm still probably trying to wrap my head around the current situation and i that i don't
01:25:05.900
have any particularly trenchant observations on how things have radically transformed partly because
01:25:13.000
the covid virus has thrown such a loop into everything that you know who who can who can
01:25:18.380
make any judgment about the state of current affairs it's impossible with any luck the vaccines will work
01:25:25.140
and there's lots of them so perhaps we'll beat the virus that would be really good if we manage that
01:25:30.880
that would be a miracle and then the world will limp back to something approximating normal and we'll see
01:25:37.300
what that new normal is i guess at the moment my judgment is sort of suspended plus you know the
01:25:42.660
democrats took power in the u.s and so now the liberal end of the universe has got control again and
01:25:48.140
that's going to have um a transformative effect of one form or another but it's impossible at the
01:25:54.460
moment to see what that is especially with all the uncertainty that's associated with the covid
01:25:59.440
lockdown so i would say i'm just sort of watching to see where all of this goes um uh because it's
01:26:06.760
we're not in a normal circumstance and so what what conclusions can you draw from it who knows
01:26:12.620
what's going to happen in three months if we're fortunate everything will reopen and we can go back
01:26:17.220
about our business with maybe a renewed appreciation for just how bloody remarkable
01:26:21.200
walking down a street with open shops really was you know i i hope we can remember that but until
01:26:29.220
then i'm just going to watch and see and yeah i don't i don't i don't feel
01:26:34.540
i'm sort of watching with open-mouthed amazement and and trying to and trying to keep up
01:26:42.980
as are we all jordan the the question your books strike a chord strike a chord with me because
01:26:50.700
i see them as a way especially for a man as a guide to how to be successful
01:26:56.880
as a gut as a way to make the most of your life to develop your life to take responsibility and all
01:27:02.740
these kind of things and one of the things that i've seen with men of my age i'm in my late 30s i know
01:27:08.460
i look younger you don't have to say it but but in my late 30s i see a lot of men struggling with
01:27:15.940
what does it mean to be successful when you when we look at that word success what does that mean
01:27:21.680
to you and how would you inspire men of my age and younger and others too late for you yeah it's too
01:27:27.660
late for me but to to actually become a success well first of all i think it's really worth thinking
01:27:34.780
about what success means and i try to do that a lot in in both the books um it's really fun to make
01:27:42.520
other people successful like that's this is one of the the reasons capitalism i would say gets a
01:27:49.920
really bad rap and an unfair rap like the people i've known who have been successful in the capitalist
01:27:57.920
enterprise and a lot of them are entrepreneurs um rather than managers let's say just it's just
01:28:04.520
that's the population i've been exposed to and this was the same among the professoriate for that
01:28:10.480
matter one of the great pleasures the people that i've seen who i respect took was in mentoring
01:28:17.380
and so don't underestimate the radical satisfaction that's associated with helping other people develop
01:28:26.020
one of the reasons that good professors well and good businessmen love to be in the position
01:28:33.080
they're in is because they can identify young people who are promising and open up doors of
01:28:38.480
opportunity to them it's really intrinsically motivating and so you know when you think of
01:28:44.620
capitalism for example or success as only a competitive enterprise that's a real mistake because there's
01:28:50.400
that aspect of it that's there everywhere in every enterprise i've ever seen so success real success
01:28:58.080
means you're successful in a way that makes other people around you successful you need both of
01:29:03.280
those and that's also really good for your conscience because then you're not working at the expense of
01:29:08.680
anyone else quite the contrary right you're you're lifting the tide that lifts all boats maybe you're
01:29:15.520
simultaneously elevating your own relative status but it's really it's not um unreasonable to put that
01:29:23.440
in as a constraining requirement it has to help other people well it helps you and i would say the way
01:29:30.180
we're wired now some people are more selfish than others but i would still say human beings are
01:29:35.640
unbelievably social and reciprocal that's built into us at an incredibly deep level and it can go wrong
01:29:42.240
and we can get cynical and malevolent and bitter and and work at counter purposes to it but
01:29:46.840
to be of service to your fellow man your family members your broader community
01:29:55.440
there are there are virtually no pleasures that that compete with that so and and and so that's
01:30:04.340
partly why it is useful to do a critique of mere materialism and materialistic satisfactions are
01:30:11.700
pretty fleeting they're not non-existent um but they're they don't have the deep and lasting
01:30:18.760
satisfaction of well of successful mentoring for example and the relationships that build out of
01:30:24.460
that so i think i don't think there is any success at all without moral success in fact i think that
01:30:33.460
success without moral success is actually a form of torture you know if you don't let's say you don't
01:30:40.580
feel you deserve anything um because you're you know that you're being you're not being a good
01:30:46.320
person and that's your own judgment and let's assume that you're accurate you're not because some
01:30:51.220
people will judge themselves far too harshly but let's just say you know you have reasons to have
01:30:56.340
your conscience bothering you and you're not successful well at least you don't feel the continual
0.98
01:31:03.160
injustice of that you think well i'm a son of a bitch but i don't have anything but then let's say
0.98
01:31:08.700
you're successful well you know that's all ill gotten how can that do any and then maybe you
0.98
01:31:16.000
have to rationalize constantly to live with it everything you can collect around you is nothing
01:31:21.260
but a source of torment and a constant reminder that you're criminal in your fundamental orientation
01:31:28.880
that you've ruined people on your mad scramble to the top jesus you don't want that like you seriously
01:31:36.420
don't want that and no amount of relative material status is going to even come close to rectifying
01:31:44.340
that you want your conscience to be clean clear you want your interpersonal relationships to be honest
01:31:51.440
you want to be reliable and dependable and if you can add exciting and adventurous to that so much the
01:31:57.160
better but success means to be successful means to be good and you say that successful means to be good
01:32:07.580
isn't that a problem whereby where in society particularly our society where people judge success
01:32:14.540
they judge it on the acquirement of property material goods and possessions and therefore there's there's
01:32:21.000
that imbalance where someone can be morally good and a fantastic person but in a materialistic society
01:32:26.800
seem to be a failure because they haven't acquired a great deal well that that definitely is a problem
01:32:32.740
when you have productive people that that's a problem in how the month it's a measurement problem
01:32:38.920
in some sense you know economic success is generally associated with intelligence and conscientiousness
01:32:47.300
so there is a rough correlation between ability let's say even moral ability and success
01:32:53.040
now i'm not making too much of that but i do know look if you're going to be a successful businessman
01:33:00.800
especially across business person across multiple dimensions multiple enterprises you bloody well better
01:33:08.100
be honest because it's going to catch up with you man and the probability that you're going to be a
01:33:14.160
successful crook multiple times is very very low you can do that but you have to move constantly
01:33:19.900
right so your reputation doesn't keep up with you so there is some association between success and
01:33:27.360
moral virtue thank god but it's it's it's a rough approximation and there's plenty of exceptions
01:33:33.620
it's very hard for creative people to monetize their productivity for example so you have unrewarded
01:33:39.600
virtue and that's a flaw of the monetary system means we haven't been able to and you might say the same
01:33:45.600
thing applies to such things as our inability to pay homemakers now why don't we pay homemakers well
01:33:54.300
it's because what they produce isn't monetizable for 20 years and our economic system isn't sophisticated
01:34:01.460
enough to figure out how to pay people for returns that are that you know pushed off into the future
01:34:09.040
that doesn't make it right but we don't know how to fix it technically right i mean if you're a venture
01:34:15.640
capitalist and you want to invest in something you want a tenfold return on your investment within a
01:34:20.540
handful of years you can't afford to invest over a 20-year period and so that makes it really rough
01:34:26.640
on homemakers because we're not sophisticated enough to monetize it so it's a measurement problem
01:34:33.460
but unless you can figure out a better way of doing it you're stuck with what we've got
01:34:38.260
jordan i was going to ask you as we we head towards the end of the interview we've there's another issue
01:34:43.500
we've been circling around and you bring up uh the the issue of stay-at-home uh moms uh and i feel like
01:34:50.260
this conversation by its very nature has been quite male-centric and i said earlier i think the whole gender
01:34:55.800
wars thing and men and women competing over who's more victim who's more this is a bit silly because men
0.88
01:35:03.040
and women need to work together and they need each other that's how i feel they have right of course
1.00
01:35:09.460
exactly so but but we do live in a society where i think some people don't see it that way and want
01:35:15.760
to disrupt that uh what what do you think men and women need to do more of to coexist peacefully if you
01:35:24.500
might or or to build healthy relationships uh and to work together
01:35:28.900
well the only the i mean i can only tell you what i've experienced one thing that people aren't
01:35:38.740
taught to do is to negotiate and so that's what we need to do look if you're either going to have
01:35:45.760
traditional gender roles where everybody shuts up and does what their mother did or their father did
1.00
01:35:52.240
which works as long as society isn't changing too quickly that actually works quite well and it's
01:35:57.380
quite a relief to everyone because how many bloody questions do you want to ask yourself
01:36:01.320
you know like you just have no idea how much certainty you actually want you know if if you
01:36:07.200
take a three-year-old and you and you stand them in front of their clothes closet and there's 20
01:36:11.320
pairs of you know 20 outfits there say it's not that pleasant for the child to have to pick
01:36:17.800
if you throw three things on the bed and say pick one they're pretty happy about that because
01:36:22.180
they get some choice but it's constrained and you know people say they want to be free but that's
01:36:27.240
just complete nonsense because you you run into paralysis of will with an infinite degree of
01:36:32.960
freedom you you want a certain amount of freedom but not that much and you sort of want it when you
01:36:37.540
want it in my room in my marriage and in my relationship with my children in my clinical practice
01:36:44.220
it's you have to negotiate that's what men and women have to do and so i i talk about that
01:36:51.780
particularly in chapter three of my new book which is don't hide things in the fog it's like well let's
01:36:58.340
talk about sex for example that's a good one there's a stumbling block in a relationship
01:37:02.080
let's talk about sex well that's hard people don't do it they're uncut you know like they'll have sex
0.96
01:37:09.960
they'll engage in sexual acts but they won't represent them abstractly and discuss them
0.52
01:37:21.260
well how are you going to solve that problem well first of all each person has to admit
01:37:28.280
how often they'd like to have sex they might be uncomfortable with that right off the bat they
01:37:33.260
might not even know because they're so uncomfortable about it they never even
01:37:36.660
asked themselves and then you have to ask yourself well what will i do if i don't get that
01:37:44.440
and people don't like that question either because it means why you're going to get bitter and you're
01:37:48.980
going to get resentful and you're going to get mopey and whiny and you're going to justify having an
01:37:53.540
affair or at least looking elsewhere and you don't want to admit that about yourself so you won't have
0.97
01:37:58.080
the damn discussion like as soon as you know that you're flawed deeply and if you're sexually
0.87
01:38:04.680
frustrated you're more likely to to to stray well then you can be afraid of yourself enough to
1.00
01:38:10.840
overcome the fear to have the conversation it's like look uh woman if we don't make love three
01:38:17.400
times a week i'm so whiny and immature that i'm going to go to strip bars and that doesn't work
01:38:23.580
out well for our relationship and you know and she might say well why that why don't you grow the
01:38:28.660
hell up and you know i'm so overworked i have 50 hour a week work week because i'm a lawyer and
0.99
01:38:34.300
i have three small kids and they're clamoring for my attention and my goddamn husband is such a
0.99
01:38:39.400
miserable wretch that he threatens me with you know marital disintegration if i don't pull out another
0.99
01:38:45.360
four hours a week to please him it's like fair enough those are two good arguments and who the
01:38:50.720
hell wants to have that discussion but my sense is it's tyranny slavery or negotiation and i've walked
01:38:59.340
couples through this process many times and i have some you know rules of thumb which my i've got kind
01:39:05.860
of a kick out of the critical response to the book and it's been sort of universally this controversial
01:39:11.920
man is very banal it's like look guys get your insults lined up here yeah which one is it well
01:39:22.200
or unless i've managed to elevate banality to the level of controversy which perhaps is the hallmark
01:39:27.700
of a good self-help book um in any case you know my observation of couples has been that they have to
01:39:34.060
spend about 90 minutes a week um in practical discussions about about their joint life the kids
01:39:41.120
the household economics their plans for the future all of that and they need to carve out two or three
01:39:47.960
times a week in a relatively established relationship to have a date and chapter 11 is that in my book i
01:39:55.840
know it's chapter 10 plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship you know
01:40:01.860
it's like you have wants she has wants um negotiate negotiate about everything who's going to
1.00
01:40:10.980
set the table who's going to do the dishes who is going to clean the leaves out of the gutter
01:40:15.220
who does what and because you either default to traditional sex roles or you engage in a battle
01:40:22.960
battle of resentful stubbornness or you negotiate and to negotiate you have to look and see how little
1.00
01:40:30.420
and stupid you actually are and you notice oh you know i'm actually annoyed when i have to do the dishes
0.99
01:40:36.260
who wants to admit that it's like well why well because i'm kind of macho and that's sort of
1.00
01:40:41.800
woman's work maybe i mean who knows what the reason is maybe you're just lazy maybe your mother used it
1.00
01:40:46.960
as a punishment um god only knows you've described both of us in one sentence he's lazy i'm a bit
01:40:54.020
macho well it's hard to negotiate unless you know how little you are it's like really that matters to
0.50
01:41:00.160
you it's like yeah and then i've noticed in my clinical practice these little things aren't
01:41:05.820
little you know you have to clean up the dishes three times a day for the rest of your life
01:41:10.380
it's like five percent of your life cleaning up the dishes five percent of your waking life
01:41:16.600
how you're greeted at the door you know all these tiny things that make up day-to-day domesticity
01:41:23.360
defines the relationships between men and women that has to be negotiated and and to negotiate
01:41:29.780
you have to start out little and demanding and and then listen and you know my experience in my
01:41:37.100
with mutual goodwill and the commitment to radical honesty negotiation
01:41:53.420
it's hard but it succeeds and that's been true under even extremely
01:41:59.460
trying circumstances and so and i always look at the micro situation it's like well i don't know
01:42:04.860
how to regulate relationships between men and women in the workplace that's i don't even think
01:42:10.280
an answer to a question like that is possible how do you treat your wife how do you treat your
01:42:16.380
daughter or perhaps how do you treat your female worker your your your your the females that you work
1.00
01:42:23.840
with you can you can you can address these issues at that level and that's where we have to start as
01:42:29.760
far as i can tell and i think that's another reason why the activist types don't like me it's like
01:42:35.520
i'm not much for social engineering start local man it's that's where the action is yeah and uh look
01:42:43.700
we've got a couple just questions wrapping up my final question for you is you've talked about your
01:42:49.260
critics and the social activist types and all the rest of it what do you think is the most legitimate
01:42:55.860
criticism that people make of you talk too much probably that might be it i mean i've been trying
01:43:03.000
to stop doing that when i'm interviewing people on my youtube channel um other legitimate criticisms
01:43:10.740
well people are quite skeptical of you know this comes out quite often i've had this problem i took
01:43:16.940
benzodiazepines sort of it's a complicated story i had my reasons i was very ill when i first started
01:43:24.420
to take them i i had terrible insomnia and i started taking them and they were prescribed i just kept
01:43:33.620
taking them and that ruined my life it destroyed my life and i still haven't recovered by maybe recovered
01:43:41.620
10 percent something like that it's absolutely dreadful i write self-help books it's like get
01:43:48.660
your act together before you change the world you know that's my advice so you know do i have my act
01:43:54.520
together well i certainly appear to have made a mistake i mean i've gone over it with fine tooth comb
01:43:59.020
i was genuinely distressed beyond my capacity to tolerate when i went to see the doctor i as far as i
01:44:08.600
could tell you know i was basically sleepless sleepless for about a three-week period you know
01:44:13.540
maybe i had micro sleeps during that time but the subjective experience was a 21 day long day i was
01:44:20.140
freezing cold i couldn't pile on enough blankets to stay warm i fainted every time i stood up um i was
01:44:27.140
like completely frozen with terror it was terrible i don't know what happened and i went to the doctor and
01:44:34.860
he gave me benzodiazepines and so i took and sleeping pills i only used the sleeping pills a
01:44:39.840
couple of times i used these benzodiazepines and two a day and that cured the insomnia and it was very
01:44:46.380
stressful period of my life and much stress followed and i just kept taking them i was paying attention
01:44:53.560
to other things i never gave it a second thought really um well that turned out to be a mistake and
01:44:59.720
then the question is you make a mistake like that and you think what does that signify you make a
01:45:05.620
mistake does that mean that you know you're you're flawed to the core as a character maybe that's
01:45:17.020
so how do i you know i was terrified when i wrote the second book because i thought well
01:45:23.660
first of all might be met by a really harsh reception because i've invalidated my claims to
01:45:30.280
any credibility with with what's happened in my life um but that didn't happen people seem to be
01:45:37.780
forgiving remarkably and um and then i guess i was protected in my own defense i would say i was
01:45:45.340
protected against that sort of criticism to some degree because i never pretended that
01:45:49.400
i was writing the rules only for other people i i think and i think i believe that that's evident in
01:45:57.060
my lectures and my writing is that i'm talking to me too you know i'm in the crowd of reprehensible
01:46:07.180
degenerates that need some work and so i mean if they weren't relevant to me
01:46:14.060
well how could i even write about them in any realistic sense so i'm you know among the great
01:46:21.140
unwashed who are clearly in need of a little bit of cleaning up and polishing and so and that seems
01:46:29.500
to be how the public is responding you know i read my comments on youtube and i take them seriously and
01:46:36.040
the reviews the public reviews i don't take the critical reviews seriously because they're
01:46:41.980
that ship has sailed you know i could write the reviews before before i see them i know what
01:46:49.400
people are going to say because that decision's already been made and some collective decisions
01:46:52.960
already been made so uh what i hope people can listen to what i say and read what i read and they
01:47:01.440
can try it out for themselves and if it works great and if it doesn't sorry you know
01:47:08.620
jordan as comedians we we face some of this the critical reviews i remember someone told me very
01:47:14.840
early on he said uh the story about a critic talking to an artist and and the critic says
01:47:20.200
would you like to hear my opinion about your work and the artist says yes go ahead and the critic says
01:47:25.320
it's worthless and the artist says i know but tell me anyway i found that a useful approach you know
01:47:32.120
i also i know why there are critics like things need to be criticized because there's too many
01:47:38.620
things so you have to rank order them so you know what to attend to um and there's justifiable
01:47:46.420
criticism i suppose and non-just and unjustifiable criticism i think one of the things i have detected
01:47:53.000
you guys can tell me what you think about this is i note in my critics reviews of my work
01:48:00.300
the same contempt for the audience i'm trying to communicate with that drives the populism that
01:48:09.800
the same elites cannot understand it's like because there's this snarky undertone constantly
01:48:15.620
well he's delivered delivering pseudo intellectual banalities to reprehensible you know to to the
01:48:23.900
to the reprehensible unsuccessful it's like well that attitude is exactly what makes you
01:48:30.300
so well liked you know and i don't have that attitude i'm thrilled to see the people who come
01:48:38.640
to see my shows and i don't feel like i'm lecturing down i never do that you know i'm always lecturing at
01:48:48.680
the edge of my ability and assuming that my audience will follow along and this is something
01:49:03.380
i've always felt that the people who've written about me have missed the story really
01:49:13.660
they're not interested in why what i'm doing has this broad impact and the reason it has a broad
01:49:22.220
impact is because i'm it's helpful to people and so that says something about what it means to be
01:49:27.520
helpful and there's something really interesting there but there's something about that kind of
01:49:34.160
help that's viewed with contempt and i think it is the contempt that drives this anti-elitism
01:49:41.500
it's not and that that stumps the left so badly it's like well why do the right-wingers vote for trump
01:49:48.940
for example well it's because they don't like you they don't like you why because you hold them in
01:49:55.760
contempt with all your talk of compassion it's like well i feel sorry for them well that's contempt
01:50:03.680
and on that note jordan thank you so much for coming on the show we really appreciate it uh with the last
01:50:13.840
question we always ask is what's the one thing we're not talking about as a society but we really
01:50:19.040
well you know we don't have much of a view of what we want to do
01:50:28.640
i mean this is a real issue it's like when i was a kid in the 60s there was this i read a lot of
01:50:36.300
science fiction there's this sort of technological utopia that bennett beckoned and everyone was caught
01:50:41.760
up in it post-war period the better future well we seem to have exhausted that the power of that
01:50:50.120
in some fundamental way where are we headed and why in some positive manner we're really stuck on that
01:50:59.580
no political party seems to be able to formulate it and and so what kind of world are we trying to
01:51:08.300
create and why that's what we should be talking about i couldn't agree with you more jordan uh
01:51:15.560
thank you so much for your time and you've been very generous with it i obviously advise everybody
01:51:20.360
to get the book beyond order and uh next time you are in london which i hope you are we wish you a
01:51:25.980
continued speed of recovery but when you are next in london would love to have you here i'd love that
01:51:30.180
i love london i love great britain it was so wonderful to visit there it was great such a
01:51:38.700
great country and we look forward to seeing you back here jordan all the very best to you and thank
01:51:44.060
you guys for watching and listening at home uh we will see you very soon with another interview
01:51:48.740
all of them go out 7 p.m absolutely see you soon guys and take care
01:51:53.500
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