TRIGGERnometry - Nuance is the new N-word - Mark Normand

00:00:00.680 Do you think this is going to be America being great again?

00:00:05.940 I think it's already pretty great.

00:00:08.420 Everything's big here.

00:00:09.460 Lizzo.

00:00:11.960 Who thought Kanye was going to be a Nazi?

00:00:14.400 That's what I'm saying.

00:00:15.160 Everything's on the table.

00:00:16.200 You can't predict anything anymore.

00:00:18.240 I don't want to be the dad comic.

00:00:20.800 So Bill Cosby's not only not guilty, he's actually been falsely accused. 1.00

00:00:25.840 Those 44 women were full of shit. 1.00

00:00:30.000 I always say fires are the new school shootings in America. 1.00

00:00:34.260 There's one a week and I've stopped caring.

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00:01:08.240 Mark Norman.

00:01:09.340 Welcome back, brother.

00:01:10.320 How are you?

00:01:11.020 Good to be back.

00:01:11.720 Hey, I'm on no sleep, but I'm glad to be away from my family.

00:01:15.480 Yeah.

00:01:15.860 Well, you're a father of a two-month-old.

00:01:18.260 Yes.

00:01:18.800 Yes.

00:01:19.160 It's hard. 0.87

00:01:20.140 But we're getting through it, goddammit.

00:01:21.720 Yeah, we were just talking before we started of how like the cuteness of the baby is what

00:01:25.440 gets you through.

00:01:26.460 Yes.

00:01:26.860 Because if he didn't have that.

00:01:28.320 No, it's like a fart. 0.85

00:01:29.300 You like your own, but I hate other ones.

00:01:31.840 But you know how I get it out? 1.00

00:01:33.280 I burp the shit out of him. 0.99

00:01:34.520 That's how I like get out. 1.00

00:01:35.880 That's how I hit him.

00:01:37.700 I'm just kidding.

00:01:38.680 CPS.

00:01:39.440 Don't call me.

00:01:41.100 No, he's cute and gray.

00:01:42.340 We're having a great time.

00:01:43.520 Strong start.

00:01:46.000 It is a powerful start.

00:01:47.300 How have you changed, Mark?

00:01:48.740 Ah, well, I got a Jamaican lady coming at night for a different reason. 1.00

00:01:53.780 Now she's watching the baby.

00:01:55.220 So that helps.

00:01:55.920 Do you guys do the night nurse ever?

00:01:58.140 No.

00:01:58.680 Oh, really?

00:01:59.540 No, we're raw dogging her, mate. 0.71

00:02:01.020 You're stronger than me.

00:02:02.540 This Jamaican lady comes in and she's pretty great because my wife will be like, I'm sad. 1.00

00:02:05.860 She's like, that is white women shit. 1.00

00:02:07.720 It's a suck it up bitch. 1.00

00:02:08.880 And I'm like, can't argue with the old school black lady. 1.00

00:02:12.980 So it's been great.

00:02:14.360 It's been great.

00:02:14.840 But looking forward to the sleeping through the night, but we'll get to that.

00:02:18.800 Has it made you, like, I don't know about, for me, it made me slightly more empathetic,

00:02:22.800 which for me was a result because I was starting with a very low base.

00:02:25.640 Yeah.

00:02:26.220 What about you?

00:02:27.140 Totally.

00:02:27.540 We're comedians.

00:02:28.180 We're selfish. 1.00

00:02:29.000 We're assholes. 1.00

00:02:29.900 So yeah, way more empathetic, way less selfish because you just, it's not about you anymore. 1.00

00:02:34.420 Hey, I got to feed this thing. 0.99

00:02:36.240 You want to sleep, but you go, he's got a shitty diaper. 0.99

00:02:38.940 So you definitely grow up quick. 0.99

00:02:42.100 And I think other people could use a baby. 0.97

00:02:44.000 You know, you meet all these cum guzzlers on the street who are just selfish. 1.00

00:02:48.420 And I feel like the next generation is all about me, me with the selfie and the TikToks. 0.99

00:02:53.060 They could use a baby. 0.98

00:02:54.980 Do you just call Francis a cum guzzler? 1.00

00:02:57.300 Yes. 0.99

00:02:58.140 Well, I've been saying that for years.

00:03:01.240 But you know what I mean.

00:03:02.440 He needs to get on that journey and he's not there.

00:03:04.940 What journey?

00:03:06.340 Sorry.

00:03:07.020 The cum guzzling journey. 0.98

00:03:07.840 The cum guzzling journey. 0.98

00:03:09.160 Oh, fair enough.

00:03:11.200 That's Bonnie Blue's tour.

00:03:12.440 Yeah.

00:03:13.080 But yeah, I will say, I'm not one of these like, you got to have a kid. 0.98

00:03:16.440 If you don't have a kid, you're worthless.

00:03:17.860 But it does.

00:03:19.040 There's a but there.

00:03:20.180 It gets you going.

00:03:21.620 It jumpstarts you.

00:03:22.780 Yeah.

00:03:23.360 So give it a shot.

00:03:25.380 Give it a shot.

00:03:26.220 So are you going around now evangelizing for babies?

00:03:28.960 No, no.

00:03:29.720 I'm not one of those guys.

00:03:30.740 But I do think it makes your life a little more fulfilling.

00:03:36.700 Yeah.

00:03:37.060 And when it comes to the comedy aspect of it, has it changed the way you do comedy?

00:03:41.620 Have you now become more sensitive and think, I'm not going to open with the pedo joke?

00:03:46.460 Maybe.

00:03:46.640 Have you seen his material?

00:03:47.560 Yeah, I go right in the pedo.

00:03:50.380 But I guess it's, I don't want to be the dad comic.

00:03:54.960 You don't want to be that guy, you know?

00:03:56.560 So I'm trying to like, stay, have my voice while talking about the kid.

00:04:01.520 So I keep it dark and fun.

00:04:04.360 Yeah.

00:04:04.460 But if you think about a dad comic, I kind of get what you mean by that.

00:04:07.900 But also the dad comic was some of the greatest comedians of all time.

00:04:11.720 That's true.

00:04:12.340 Bill Cosby, dad comic, he's a great comedian.

00:04:15.340 I like his lighter work.

00:04:16.640 Someone tainted.

00:04:17.780 Yeah.

00:04:18.820 Actually, never convicted, never, he's not guilty.

00:04:22.660 What?

00:04:23.120 What?

00:04:23.500 He went to jail.

00:04:24.400 No, but it got, it got.

00:04:26.320 Francis, do you know you're on camera?

00:04:27.460 I do know that I'm on camera.

00:04:29.180 Right.

00:04:29.600 So let's just get this right.

00:04:31.140 Yeah.

00:04:31.620 Is Bill Cosby, did he, is he guilty or not?

00:04:35.020 No, he was found guilty at the court, but then.

00:04:37.380 And went to jail.

00:04:38.240 And went to jail.

00:04:38.560 But you're now claiming he's innocent.

00:04:39.840 No, I'm claiming he's not guilty because I know that he got overturned.

00:04:44.100 Oh, so legally he's not guilty.

00:04:46.360 Yeah.

00:04:46.920 It's like OJ.

00:04:48.120 So are you saying he's a victim of a miscarriage of justice?

00:04:51.720 Yeah, exactly.

00:04:52.920 Bill Cosby.

00:04:54.260 Legally he is.

00:04:57.180 Well, give it a goog.

00:04:58.180 Can we get a verdict on that?

00:04:59.540 I want to know.

00:05:00.940 Yeah.

00:05:01.780 I mean, I'll tell you what, I've put a hell of a stake in the ground, haven't I?

00:05:04.740 Yeah, you have.

00:05:05.480 And we're going to find out.

00:05:06.380 Now, look, in fairness, if you're right, it's going to be quite, it's going to be a revelation

00:05:11.040 to the audience of Trigonometry, I would imagine, right?

00:05:13.580 Yeah.

00:05:13.860 OJ, you know, he didn't get convicted.

00:05:16.160 Exactly.

00:05:16.680 Another good man.

00:05:20.480 Yeah.

00:05:21.080 So, yeah.

00:05:22.080 No, absolutely.

00:05:23.100 Another, another, another soldier.

00:05:24.980 Right.

00:05:25.320 Anyway, your point was Bill Cosby and others.

00:05:27.720 And others.

00:05:28.380 And look, Louis CK.

00:05:29.820 Yeah.

00:05:30.300 Well, that wasn't illegal.

00:05:31.640 Exactly.

00:05:32.180 Well.

00:05:32.440 Well, what Cosby did was illegal.

00:05:33.640 What do you got there, Sladdy?

00:05:35.520 Freed off the top court, overturned sexual assault conviction.

00:05:39.260 Overturned.

00:05:39.820 Thank you very much.

00:05:41.260 You've got to get him on here.

00:05:42.340 So, Bill Cosby's not only not guilty.

00:05:44.720 Yeah.

00:05:45.040 He's actually been falsely accused.

00:05:47.220 A perfect trigonometry guess.

00:05:49.240 Absolutely. 1.00

00:05:50.020 Those 44 women were full of shit. 1.00

00:05:54.300 Not really. 1.00

00:05:55.140 I'm joking.

00:05:56.180 The 44 is a lot.

00:05:57.280 You can't really argue with 44.

00:05:58.340 That's the thing is, I feel like, I know this is supposed to be a sheriff's show, but I

00:06:02.640 feel like once you're past 10 women. 0.80

00:06:04.440 Yeah.

00:06:05.000 Yeah.

00:06:05.360 That's not a conviction in court, but it's not that far off.

00:06:08.740 You know what I mean?

00:06:09.700 Exactly.

00:06:10.240 Exactly.

00:06:10.660 The people's court.

00:06:12.760 If it's like, oh, if it's double digits, so maybe there's some truth to it.

00:06:16.380 You know what I mean?

00:06:16.880 Right.

00:06:17.060 Right.

00:06:17.420 Right.

00:06:17.700 Yeah.

00:06:18.200 Unless it's a coordinated attack.

00:06:20.320 Oh.

00:06:21.600 Boy, you really keep digging.

00:06:22.760 I mean, 10.

00:06:24.160 Yeah. 0.98

00:06:24.680 Getting 10 women to work together like that is pretty fucking hard. 0.99

00:06:27.880 And they all had the same story, which is not good either. 0.98

00:06:30.420 Yeah.

00:06:30.860 The drugging.

00:06:32.020 Yeah.

00:06:32.400 So anyway, great comedian.

00:06:35.660 Mount Rushmore, for sure.

00:06:37.080 Yeah.

00:06:37.800 Yeah.

00:06:38.220 One could say, actually, inspired Richard Pryor.

00:06:42.200 Richard Pryor, who obviously when he started, was a Bill Cosby tribute act.

00:06:45.180 But anyway, Louis C.K., they are dad comedians, is my point.

00:06:48.940 Bilber, Louis, Chris Rock, Chappelle, all dads.

00:06:52.760 Yeah. 0.89

00:06:53.320 So the dad joke is even a shitty thing to say. 0.83

00:06:55.600 That's a dad joke. 0.68

00:06:56.480 They have dad jokes.

00:06:57.460 And dad, yeah, exactly.

00:06:59.500 It's quite interesting.

00:07:01.080 They put the word dad in front of something in a slang term to denigrate it.

00:07:05.660 Like dad bod, dad joke.

00:07:07.520 Dad rock.

00:07:08.460 Yeah.

00:07:08.780 Dad rock.

00:07:09.600 Yeah.

00:07:09.820 You're right.

00:07:10.760 Mom is good.

00:07:12.360 Yeah.

00:07:12.680 Sorry.

00:07:13.500 I misjudged the mom and forgive me.

00:07:15.600 Mom is good.

00:07:16.460 Mom. 0.99

00:07:18.020 Mom sex. 0.99

00:07:19.280 What's a, I guess that's a milf. 0.99

00:07:21.040 Yeah.

00:07:21.420 Do moms have a thing? 1.00

00:07:22.200 Mom jeans?

00:07:23.720 Mom.

00:07:24.200 No, but see, moms are venerated and so they should be. 0.98

00:07:27.160 Right.

00:07:27.620 Right.

00:07:27.720 But my point is, the father is sort of denigrated, isn't he?

00:07:30.920 It is.

00:07:31.360 It's a pejorative for sure.

00:07:32.800 Dad joke, dad bod.

00:07:34.160 Mm.

00:07:34.600 Yeah.

00:07:35.200 Good point.

00:07:36.000 So.

00:07:36.540 What's that about?

00:07:37.580 Yeah, exactly.

00:07:38.680 No one feels bad for men.

00:07:40.420 Right.

00:07:41.460 Right?

00:07:42.040 Right.

00:07:42.600 Yeah. 1.00

00:07:42.980 I mean, you know, where if we go, hey, I'm tired, people go, shut up, suck it up, you pussy. 1.00

00:07:48.320 Work harder. 1.00

00:07:48.980 Work harder.

00:07:50.040 It's interesting, isn't it?

00:07:51.200 Because I kind of like, on the one hand, I'm kind of laughing along and go, oh, that's really

00:07:57.660 messed up.

00:07:59.140 On the other hand, that's actually what I believe.

00:08:01.600 I know.

00:08:01.940 Well, men don't feel bad for men either.

00:08:03.600 No.

00:08:03.860 It's not a woman thing. 1.00

00:08:04.560 No.

00:08:04.660 But like Johnny Depp, he got accused of beating Amber Heard.

00:08:07.880 He went through like all this trial, all this public attack, and then he proved he was

00:08:13.660 right.

00:08:14.320 And everybody was like, hey, you won that one. 0.99

00:08:16.720 It's like, hey, how about the, what the fuck? 1.00

00:08:18.420 I got called a wife beater. 1.00

00:08:19.440 And it wasn't true.

00:08:20.900 Look, no one, no one pat you on the back and goes, oh, sorry you went through that, buddy.

00:08:25.000 That was hell.

00:08:25.960 We just go, hey, you won.

00:08:27.160 Yeah.

00:08:27.520 What's the next movie?

00:08:29.980 Keep going.

00:08:31.020 Yeah.

00:08:31.340 And then people talk about Men's Mental Health Week or Men's Mental Health Month Week.

00:08:36.700 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:08:37.600 All of this stuff.

00:08:38.500 And you go, on the one hand, it's important.

00:08:40.640 On the other hand.

00:08:41.920 No one cares.

00:08:42.960 Yeah.

00:08:43.460 Yeah, it's true.

00:08:44.400 It's a tough, tough go.

00:08:46.160 And even.

00:08:47.020 We're not allowed to be said.

00:08:48.420 But then women are like, you got to. 1.00

00:08:50.060 I wish men would open up.

00:08:51.200 I wish they would be emotional.

00:08:52.220 And you're like, well, actually, I feel like everybody hates us. 0.99

00:08:53.980 And they're like, shut up. 1.00

00:08:55.340 You're bad. 1.00

00:08:55.720 And you're like, what the hell? 1.00

00:08:56.720 All right.

00:08:58.160 So you want me to have feelings as long as you approve of them?

00:09:00.620 Yes.

00:09:02.340 Yeah.

00:09:02.700 I think that is exactly what they want.

00:09:04.540 All right.

00:09:05.580 And where do you think comedy is at the moment, Mark?

00:09:07.480 Do you think because it was at one point.

00:09:09.580 Well, we first interviewed you in 2022.

00:09:11.980 And I.

00:09:12.300 Hmm.

00:09:12.800 And but the past few years, it seemed as if everything was kind of regressing.

00:09:18.520 Think people are being censored.

00:09:20.220 Do you know people getting.

00:09:21.820 You know, even Mike Ward in Canada getting arrested for a joke.

00:09:25.480 Yeah.

00:09:25.720 But where do you think we are now?

00:09:27.260 I think we're doing great.

00:09:28.240 I mean, we're we're booming.

00:09:29.140 This is a big.

00:09:30.120 How many friends, you know, who are in arenas?

00:09:32.180 Like, I just did the Chicago theater, which is a pretty big room in Chicago.

00:09:35.760 And I was talking to the the booker or the producer, whatever it is.

00:09:39.620 And he was like, I got to tell you, I've been working here 50 years.

00:09:42.620 No comedians play.

00:09:43.640 He's like, we had Don Rickles here.

00:09:45.080 And it was like half full.

00:09:48.020 And that was in the late, like the early 80s.

00:09:50.220 He was a legend.

00:09:51.660 So comic people just didn't go out and see comedy.

00:09:54.060 Like you had Dice Clay and Steve Martin maybe doing arena here and there.

00:09:57.240 But now it's like Andrew Schultz is at the Garden.

00:10:01.160 Nate Bergazzi is at the Bridgestone Arena.

00:10:03.300 I mean, it's just huge, huge names.

00:10:05.580 Yeah.

00:10:05.780 And these are friends of ours.

00:10:06.980 Well, I said this to Schultz.

00:10:08.180 We had him on the other day.

00:10:09.540 Like watching his latest special, you'd think like wokeness never happened.

00:10:13.360 Right.

00:10:13.980 Like we're so over it in comedy, especially in America.

00:10:17.460 Yeah.

00:10:17.660 Well, I think we learned because the Internet will come at you hard and you go, oh, my God,

00:10:22.540 everybody's against me.

00:10:23.520 Can I even go outside?

00:10:24.700 This is scary.

00:10:25.400 And then we learned like, yeah, they all talk and then it goes away. 0.66

00:10:28.760 Trump got shot in the head.

00:10:29.900 We were over it in two days.

00:10:31.220 You know, so we were scared of the Internet for a while.

00:10:33.960 And now we all go, ah, the Internet's going to talk.

00:10:35.960 Look, I'm just going to keep saying whatever I want.

00:10:38.360 I do hate when people go, oh, cancel culture.

00:10:42.780 It's not it's not real.

00:10:44.080 It's like, well, don't gaslight me.

00:10:45.400 It was scary for a while.

00:10:47.040 Yeah.

00:10:47.300 You know, let's not pretend like that wasn't a thing.

00:10:49.260 I was scared of other comedians.

00:10:50.560 I'd be writing jokes going, what if they see that?

00:10:53.140 I better not say that.

00:10:54.220 Like I was worried.

00:10:55.880 So I have friends who lost jobs because of this.

00:10:58.620 And they said that.

00:10:59.340 So, like, it was scary.

00:11:00.620 I mean, a professor lost a job for saying, ladies and gentlemen, you're misgendering or whatever.

00:11:06.320 Remember that truck driver who got in trouble for doing this in a photo?

00:11:10.000 Mexican guy.

00:11:10.780 They're like, that's a white power symbol. 0.95

00:11:12.240 He got fired.

00:11:13.340 So, like, it was horrible for a while.

00:11:15.100 So don't gaslight me.

00:11:16.380 Enough with the gaslighting.

00:11:17.760 But, yeah, I think we're good.

00:11:20.360 That's a really good point.

00:11:21.480 That's a really good point.

00:11:22.400 Thank you.

00:11:23.160 Yeah.

00:11:23.440 Really good point.

00:11:24.200 Yeah.

00:11:24.320 So, like, it was bad for a while.

00:11:26.700 But now, especially in this country, it feels like we're through the other side completely.

00:11:31.080 Yeah.

00:11:31.320 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:31.560 And I think just even if it does, if you do get some shit, just keep going. 0.98

00:11:35.780 Don't let it faze you. 0.98

00:11:37.600 Yeah.

00:11:37.820 I think now people have got a strategy for surviving.

00:11:41.780 I think the people who went through it in the early days, like a friend of ours called Daniel O'Reilly, Dapper Laughs, and he was cancelled.

00:11:49.540 He was one of the first comedians cancelled in the UK.

00:11:51.720 Because they clipped a bit of him and put it out of context when he was doing some crowd work.

00:11:59.120 As a character act.

00:12:00.240 As a character act.

00:12:01.280 And they clipped it out of context.

00:12:03.140 It went viral.

00:12:04.160 He ended up getting fired from his TV show.

00:12:07.060 Wow.

00:12:08.080 It was a hate campaign in the press.

00:12:10.760 He said it drove him nearly to suicide.

00:12:13.340 Of course.

00:12:13.900 He went through absolute hell.

00:12:15.700 But part of, and he's now back and better than ever, and he's incredible.

00:12:18.740 Good.

00:12:19.080 But I think the thing was, the difficulty Dan found, and he spoke to me about this, is that when he was going through it, there was no template for, A, what the hell he was experiencing, because that never really happened in that way before.

00:12:35.560 And number two, what's going to happen, and most importantly, you're going to get out of it and you're going to be fine.

00:12:41.120 Right.

00:12:41.620 Right.

00:12:42.420 It feels like the world is coming down on you.

00:12:45.100 It's this onslaught of hate, and we're not used to that.

00:12:47.800 You know?

00:12:48.840 So, yeah, it was, I feel for the guy.

00:12:51.040 And that's the other thing that pisses me off.

00:12:52.480 When that guy was going through that, no one ever goes, oh, like, the left is supposed to be so compassionate.

00:12:59.220 It's all about compassion.

00:13:00.120 We've got to help the minorities, help the homeless, help this.

00:13:02.520 But this guy went through hell, almost killed himself, and they're like, hey, you'll be all right.

00:13:07.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:07.520 You're doing great.

00:13:08.120 He was a straight white man, though, so.

00:13:10.060 Oh, there you go.

00:13:11.360 Yeah, exactly, exactly.

00:13:13.320 You're doing great.

00:13:14.240 You have the world at your fingertips.

00:13:15.540 You're like, well, I can still get cancer.

00:13:17.880 I know I'm white, but I can still get cancer.

00:13:19.780 I still have feelings. 0.93

00:13:22.000 It's funny how white people don't have feelings.

00:13:24.580 I grew up in a black neighborhood. 0.93

00:13:26.460 I got called all kinds of horrible things.

00:13:28.280 It felt horrible. 0.99

00:13:29.020 I wanted to kill myself. 0.84

00:13:31.080 I was sad all the time.

00:13:32.760 Yeah, it's, that's an interesting point where they, it felt there was one moment.

00:13:38.780 I remember when the phrase stale, pale, and male was being bandied about.

00:13:44.180 Do you remember that?

00:13:44.660 I've never heard that one.

00:13:45.400 No, that's a very British thing.

00:13:46.880 Yeah, is it?

00:13:47.160 Yeah, they don't have that here, I think.

00:13:49.100 Stale, pale, and male.

00:13:50.100 Yeah, and then that was just being brandished and, you know, knocked about wherever you went,

00:13:55.920 and people were saying it.

00:13:57.480 I saw it on bags.

00:13:59.060 Wow.

00:13:59.760 I saw it on this girl's bag, stale, pale, and male.

00:14:02.420 And you go, would you be able to do that to anyone else?

00:14:06.020 Right.

00:14:06.560 And it's just funny, too, because if you go, actually, I'm Cuban, they go, oh, my God,

00:14:10.220 I'm so sorry.

00:14:11.280 And you're like, now you feel bad for me?

00:14:13.420 I'm still a human being.

00:14:14.440 I'm the same guy.

00:14:15.240 Like, just because I have a little bit of melanin or a little bit of flavor in my 23 and

00:14:20.460 me, all of a sudden, now you feel bad? 1.00

00:14:22.740 It's so stupid and so ignorant, and I'm glad we're, my friend, he's a black guy, and he 1.00

00:14:27.580 had a great point. 1.00

00:14:28.200 He goes, I bet in 20 years, we're going to go back on the internet and see all the people 0.99

00:14:31.920 who sh** on white people, and we're like, you can't do that. 0.98

00:14:34.400 That's cancelable. 0.99

00:14:35.420 He thinks it's going to come around that hard.

00:14:37.560 Really? 0.86

00:14:37.960 All the white guy hate will be, like, a fireable offense in 20 years. 0.77

00:14:42.460 That's his theory, but who knows? 0.82

00:14:44.200 Really?

00:14:44.920 Yeah.

00:14:45.440 That's interesting.

00:14:46.460 You know, because everything, we think we can predict, but, like, everything's so f**king

00:14:50.520 crazy.

00:14:51.400 So you think the whole thing is swinging in a different direction?

00:14:54.300 I think it's not just swinging.

00:14:55.700 I think it's, it's not like this and that. 0.96

00:14:57.340 It's, it's f**king, it's like a clock just doing this.

00:15:00.340 Like, anything, like, no one thought Trump was going to be a president in 2005 when he's 0.95

00:15:05.380 on Home Alone 2.

00:15:07.280 You know, like, anything can happen now.

00:15:09.180 Everything's on the table, is what I'm saying.

00:15:10.980 Yeah.

00:15:11.220 It's pretty wild time to be alive.

00:15:12.980 Yes, yes, 100%.

00:15:15.060 What, what do you see?

00:15:16.240 We've, we've been in America for a few days, so we're only getting the lay of the land.

00:15:20.040 Like, what do you see since the new administration's come in, in terms of, like, the culture and

00:15:25.040 everything else that's going on?

00:15:26.000 Uh, well, I try to, I'm not, I'm not the smartest political guy, but, uh, it looks like the left

00:15:32.700 is, um, having a tough go.

00:15:35.980 You know, the paddles at that, uh, State of the Union, you know, they had the paddles picked

00:15:40.600 up.

00:15:40.880 I don't know if you guys saw that.

00:15:41.780 No, no.

00:15:42.140 Oh.

00:15:42.620 What happened?

00:15:43.060 So, Trump gave a big speech, as every president does, and the left wing wouldn't ever stand

00:15:49.040 up, and then they, like, held up paddles to say, like, um, Elon steals, or to impeach

00:15:56.540 Trump, or whatever they said.

00:15:57.480 I don't know.

00:15:57.860 But you're like, paddles?

00:15:58.940 This is what you're doing?

00:15:59.920 And then, like, Roseanne flew to Ireland, because she's like, I'm getting out of here.

00:16:03.580 You're like, you leave?

00:16:05.180 That's your big answer to fighting the bad guy, is to leave?

00:16:09.260 I don't know.

00:16:10.200 So, it just seems like, and the approval rating is very low with the left, and I'm not saying

00:16:15.320 the right is doing a bunch of great, either.

00:16:16.880 I'm just saying the left, when I grew up, the left was, like, the normal, it was, like,

00:16:21.120 the stable one.

00:16:22.260 And the right was, like, don't get an abortion, uh, you can't say this, and, you know, we gotta

00:16:28.060 have, uh, everything be this way, and white is right, and all that, and religion all day

00:16:32.700 long.

00:16:33.080 And now, it feels like the left is like, where are we at?

00:16:36.260 What are we doing?

00:16:36.980 Like, Gavin Newsom has a podcast.

00:16:38.880 He just came out and said that trans sports is unfair.

00:16:42.600 And you're like, but you championed it for years, and now you're just flipping?

00:16:47.800 What are you guys?

00:16:49.140 What's happening with the left?

00:16:50.000 So, what do you think he's doing there?

00:16:51.160 Do you think he feels like, the moment's changed, and I'm gonna swing with it?

00:16:55.100 That's all I can assume, because what else?

00:16:58.160 I don't think he just changed his mind like that.

00:16:59.700 I think the, he sees where the wind is blowing, which is why, left or right, all these guys 1.00

00:17:04.780 are fucking hucksters. 0.99

00:17:06.380 They're all car salesmen, and, uh... 1.00

00:17:08.740 You really are seeing a lot of that, aren't you?

00:17:10.740 Like, if you, if you assume that these people are operating on principle, you're finding out

00:17:14.760 pretty quickly, on many sides, actually.

00:17:16.840 Yeah.

00:17:17.160 That that isn't, that's not, that is not what's going on here.

00:17:20.640 Yeah, left and right.

00:17:21.560 And so these people are like, Biden's my guy, or Trump's my guy, I'm like, your guy's 1.00

00:17:25.920 a fucking, uh, con artist. 1.00

00:17:28.020 Left or right. 1.00

00:17:29.000 Just because Biden's eating ice cream doesn't mean he's a nice guy. 0.96

00:17:31.360 He'll still pull a, push a button and blow up a bunch of brown people. 1.00

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00:18:58.980 They're all, they all just say what they got to say.

00:19:03.120 Like, Kamala's for fracking, and she's not for fracking. 1.00

00:19:06.400 She worked at McDonald's, but we found out she didn't work at McDonald's. 0.75

00:19:09.100 Like, this is who you want as your president?

00:19:11.180 Some lady who lied about, and what's so good about working at McDonald's? 1.00

00:19:14.120 I don't give a shit. 1.00

00:19:14.980 If I worked at McDonald's, I'd kill myself. 1.00

00:19:17.720 You know? 0.69

00:19:18.120 Like, why do I need my president to work at McDonald's?

00:19:20.280 Why does that make her better? 0.99

00:19:21.860 But it's all just, it shows you it's all image.

00:19:24.200 You know?

00:19:24.400 Hey, I worked at McDonald's.

00:19:25.640 I'm a man of the people, or a lady of the people. 0.98

00:19:28.200 Like, who gives a f***? 0.97

00:19:29.740 You gotta run the country. 0.99

00:19:30.940 I don't care you know how to work a friolator. 0.99

00:19:33.600 Yeah, it's actually a profound point, because the people, you know, politicians who try-

00:19:39.120 But it's like show business, isn't it? 0.91

00:19:40.400 It's show business for ugly people. 1.00

00:19:41.980 That's what they say. 0.81

00:19:42.600 But it's also, you know, just because I can't relate to you doesn't mean you're not going

00:19:48.360 to be a good president.

00:19:49.200 Yes.

00:19:50.020 Actually, it does mean, if you relate to me, you should not be president.

00:19:54.580 I'm hungover right now.

00:19:57.060 I jerked off earlier while my kid was asleep.

00:20:00.060 You know, it's, I'm the wrong guy. 0.96

00:20:02.740 I got 20 minutes on Jews in my act, you know? 0.98

00:20:06.720 Well, you could be very political with that in the current climate.

00:20:09.220 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:20:11.160 Any Jew joke I post online just skyrockets, by the way. 1.00

00:20:14.820 That's another thing.

00:20:15.680 Remember I said the clock is just flipping, the pendulum.

00:20:17.720 Who thought Kanye was going to be a Nazi?

00:20:20.380 That's what I'm saying.

00:20:21.080 Like, everything's on the table.

00:20:22.140 You can't predict anything anymore.

00:20:24.180 That is such a good-

00:20:25.280 If someone in 1999-

00:20:26.780 Yes!

00:20:27.400 ... told you Kanye West would be a Nazi, that would wear a t-shirt with a swastika on it,

00:20:32.380 I don't know that you would have believed them.

00:20:34.220 No.

00:20:34.800 Or Elon in the Oval Office with a chainsaw. 0.97

00:20:37.060 You'd be like, what the f*** happened? 0.81

00:20:38.460 If you went to a time machine, you'd be blown away. 0.99

00:20:40.660 You'd be like, this is crazy.

00:20:42.320 No one's going to believe me. 1.00

00:20:43.260 If you went back in time and told everybody, they'd go, you're f***ing nuts. 1.00

00:20:46.580 This guy's going to be killed. 1.00

00:20:47.560 He's going to be in an asylum. 1.00

00:20:49.420 Or trying to indict a president for sleeping with a porn star. 0.98

00:20:53.020 That too. 0.99

00:20:53.780 Yeah.

00:20:54.300 All insane.

00:20:55.380 It's all insane.

00:20:56.400 And I remember hearing that story and going, yeah, that makes sense.

00:21:00.060 Exactly.

00:21:00.580 We don't even bat an eye anymore.

00:21:01.920 Can you imagine that happening in 1992?

00:21:04.460 Well, we had Clinton.

00:21:06.300 The cigar-

00:21:06.320 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:06.880 He put a cigar in a chick's pussy. 1.00

00:21:08.280 It's pretty crazy. 1.00

00:21:09.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:09.660 But I still feel like Hunter Biden got up to shit. 1.00

00:21:12.880 That is just out of someone's overwritten book. 1.00

00:21:16.020 You know what I mean?

00:21:16.560 Yes. 1.00

00:21:16.760 Like absolutely f***ing crazy shit. 1.00

00:21:18.400 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:18.800 Crack, hookers, freebasing, all that. 1.00

00:21:21.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:21.680 The whole thing's nuts.

00:21:22.720 Yeah.

00:21:23.700 It's like a stereotype.

00:21:25.680 Yeah, yeah.

00:21:26.040 An overdone stereotype.

00:21:27.640 And then they found cocaine in the bathroom of the White House.

00:21:30.800 You know what I mean?

00:21:31.160 Yeah.

00:21:32.260 That's a good time.

00:21:33.260 It is a good time.

00:21:35.220 So are you excited, Mark?

00:21:36.680 Do you think this is going to be America being great again?

00:21:42.800 I think it's already pretty great.

00:21:44.700 Like everybody keeps trying to come here.

00:21:47.360 You know?

00:21:47.820 Like we're doing something right.

00:21:50.060 And you know, like, you know, in Ukraine, gay marriage is illegal.

00:21:54.740 Which you're like, hey, put that on your flag, everybody.

00:21:57.820 You know?

00:21:59.040 It wouldn't go with the LGBT stuff. 0.97

00:22:01.220 That's true.

00:22:01.840 That's true.

00:22:02.260 So like, yeah, everybody thinks Ukraine is this like poor underdog.

00:22:06.100 We got to help them.

00:22:06.740 And yeah, let's help them.

00:22:07.760 Sure.

00:22:08.080 But, you know, we're doing pretty good.

00:22:11.700 Your point is not about Ukraine.

00:22:13.120 Your point is things are good.

00:22:14.060 Yes.

00:22:14.180 We're doing pretty good.

00:22:14.940 Like we talk about how racist we are and all this.

00:22:17.220 But, you know, all these all these minorities and brown people want to come here. 1.00

00:22:20.740 So I think we're doing great.

00:22:22.860 But you know what it is? 1.00

00:22:24.080 It's a bunch of young people who it's like having a rich mom and dad where you're like, fuck you, mom and dad. 0.99

00:22:29.460 Then you go back to your amazing room with every Nintendo and game system and giant TV and millions of dollars and a nice car and pool in the backyard. 1.00

00:22:39.280 You're like, I hate my mom and dad. 0.60

00:22:40.760 You're like, if you went to El Salvador for 10 minutes, you'd fucking kill yourself, you know, but they just go, oh, it's all hard. 1.00

00:22:49.820 Like, no, no, we got it good. 0.98

00:22:51.100 And you'll realize that eventually.

00:22:52.740 But it's like it's like a teenager.

00:22:54.640 You just got to let them yell it out.

00:22:56.180 Yeah.

00:22:56.700 Yeah, you do.

00:22:57.440 We got Uber Eats.

00:22:58.360 We got Netflix.

00:22:59.320 We got we got everything here.

00:23:01.280 We got fentanyl.

00:23:03.460 We got it made.

00:23:04.760 You've got a lot of that.

00:23:05.920 Oh, yeah.

00:23:06.700 Oh, yeah.

00:23:07.200 I still I love America, but it's so funny, this place to me.

00:23:13.340 But it's something as simple as I can have a coffee.

00:23:15.900 Would you like a medium coffee?

00:23:17.380 I go, yes, please.

00:23:18.080 And they got they hand me this.

00:23:20.280 Is that a big coffee?

00:23:21.600 No, that's a medium coffee.

00:23:23.020 But I'm saying in Europe, in Europe, that's like an extra large.

00:23:26.600 Oh, if somebody in Europe, if he ordered one of them in a coffee shop, I'd be like, he's weird.

00:23:33.880 Yeah.

00:23:34.880 Interesting.

00:23:35.280 I had a large today and it was, you know, bigger than that.

00:23:38.860 We like abundance.

00:23:40.060 We like big things.

00:23:41.220 Everything's big here.

00:23:42.240 Lizzo.

00:23:43.220 Crazy. 1.00

00:23:43.760 We had to invent a drug that made people smaller because we're all so fucking fat. 0.99

00:23:47.840 But it must be the food. 0.99

00:23:50.320 It's got to be.

00:23:51.200 It's got to be. 0.97

00:23:51.900 Look, your portions are demented. 0.99

00:23:54.140 Crazy. 0.99

00:23:54.420 God bless you.

00:23:55.000 I agree.

00:23:55.860 But I love it.

00:23:57.660 Me too.

00:23:58.300 Exactly.

00:23:59.940 But there's got to be something with the food because it can't just be portion size.

00:24:03.500 No.

00:24:04.060 And then you look at videos of us in the 80s and we're all thin.

00:24:06.880 Yeah.

00:24:06.980 Everyone is skinny.

00:24:07.860 And if you were fat, it was like, look at this guy.

00:24:09.960 Yeah. 0.91

00:24:10.720 And now everyone's fat.

00:24:12.040 But do you remember at school there was a fat kid?

00:24:15.040 Yes.

00:24:15.720 Yes.

00:24:16.380 I was that kid. 0.87

00:24:18.080 I was a fat kid growing up.

00:24:19.740 But you walk around now and it just seems like Americans are just getting bigger and 0.99

00:24:24.280 bigger.

00:24:24.800 I know.

00:24:25.460 I know.

00:24:26.000 It's sad.

00:24:27.080 And we spend the most on health care and everyone is the unhealthiest.

00:24:31.940 We're way less healthy than other countries.

00:24:34.200 Yeah.

00:24:34.540 And we spend a ton on health care.

00:24:36.160 But I think those two things are exactly related.

00:24:38.280 Because you are the most unhealthy, you spend the most on health care.

00:24:41.000 Maybe you're right.

00:24:41.580 Right.

00:24:41.760 That's a good point.

00:24:42.420 I think that's probably it.

00:24:43.660 Like, when we are here for two weeks, we try to be very careful with food and we still

00:24:48.880 come black bloated. 0.54

00:24:50.120 Like, we're like 1.1 the size of what we were.

00:24:54.660 You know what I mean?

00:24:55.160 I know.

00:24:55.340 Like 10% bigger across the board.

00:24:57.820 It's a problem.

00:24:58.600 You can just drink water here and you come back fat.

00:25:02.560 Yeah.

00:25:03.040 Our water is fat. 0.95

00:25:04.020 Well, that's why RFK, you're like, people, he's a kook. 1.00

00:25:07.340 He's got a bear head in his trunk right now.

00:25:10.240 So, but we are, we do need a wake up call.

00:25:13.240 It's kind of like Luigi.

00:25:14.380 You shouldn't go around killing people, but our health care system is broken.

00:25:18.820 So, people are dying.

00:25:20.280 People are getting shot over it.

00:25:21.440 So, as much as that guy's wrong, we should look into this whole system.

00:25:26.420 Like, the Froot Loops aren't even, they're not legal in Canada, our Froot Loops.

00:25:30.780 Because they have all these dyes in them.

00:25:32.660 But how delicious do they taste?

00:25:34.460 And they're so red and colorful.

00:25:36.460 Yeah.

00:25:37.060 It's exciting.

00:25:37.660 So, what's happening with Froot Loops?

00:25:39.960 Froot Loops has a certain dye in it that makes them pop more, the color, in America.

00:25:45.220 But in Canada, all those dyes are illegal.

00:25:47.280 And what does it do?

00:25:48.380 It just makes it more colorful, but I think it's also harming our bodies.

00:25:52.220 Right.

00:25:52.580 But we want the color.

00:25:53.640 We want the color.

00:25:54.780 Yeah, America.

00:25:55.400 We want the big coffee.

00:25:56.340 We want the colorful Froot Loops. 0.99

00:25:57.640 We want the fucking crust with pizza in it, or cheese in it, our pizza. 0.99

00:26:02.780 So, we need more and more. 0.99

00:26:03.920 It's never enough.

00:26:04.480 We need bacon around other meats.

00:26:06.980 We have pork, a pork chop with bacon around it, or whatever.

00:26:12.500 It never ends.

00:26:13.520 We just want more and more and more.

00:26:15.640 And that is your biggest weakness.

00:26:17.520 But that's also your biggest strength.

00:26:19.440 Right, right.

00:26:20.580 Exactly.

00:26:21.060 Because that's why America is so magical.

00:26:24.440 It's because you walk around, and then everything that is done well in Europe has been taken to about level 342.

00:26:33.880 Yeah, we have a Jaeger bomb. 0.99

00:26:35.940 That's a cup of Red Bull that we put a shot of Jaeger in and drink it.

00:26:41.260 It's insane.

00:26:42.680 Is that an American thing?

00:26:43.720 Yeah, you never had one?

00:26:44.740 Yeah, yeah, cool.

00:26:45.380 So, I've had Jaeger bombs, but I didn't realize it was an American thing.

00:26:47.580 Well, all the good stuff is exported from America.

00:26:50.440 I assume it's got to be America.

00:26:51.800 No British guys coming up with that.

00:26:53.400 No guy in a turtleneck with an umbrella.

00:26:56.680 Hey, I've got to do a Jaeger bomb. 1.00

00:26:59.300 We have speedball.

00:27:00.600 You know, we invented that, too.

00:27:01.940 That's where you take, I guess it's heroin and coke.

00:27:04.880 Yeah.

00:27:05.160 We can't have enough.

00:27:06.380 Yeah, you need the up and the down at the same time.

00:27:09.000 You can't wait.

00:27:10.040 We're insatiable.

00:27:11.380 Yeah, it is.

00:27:12.140 It is.

00:27:12.600 But here's the thing.

00:27:14.300 There's still a magic to this place.

00:27:15.720 It's a magic, I agree.

00:27:17.840 You know.

00:27:18.380 Yeah, and we're having a good time.

00:27:20.320 Yeah.

00:27:21.980 But, like, would you want to do comedy anywhere else?

00:27:24.820 Oh, I love going to England.

00:27:26.000 I love, I'm going there in May.

00:27:27.960 I'm very excited.

00:27:29.000 So, yeah, I'm going to Australia.

00:27:30.280 But I would want to start comedy here.

00:27:32.280 This is the best place to live, I think, for comedy.

00:27:34.700 No offense.

00:27:35.960 Yeah.

00:27:36.240 What, New York?

00:27:37.400 Yeah.

00:27:38.420 100%.

00:27:38.780 There's a lot of people now in Austin who are...

00:27:41.200 That's true, but we could do the Austin argument all day.

00:27:44.220 I got a lot of thoughts on Austin.

00:27:45.700 What are your thoughts on Austin?

00:27:46.720 Well, I think the Mothership is a killer club.

00:27:49.080 I think it's, like, one of the top clubs in the country.

00:27:51.340 It's so well designed.

00:27:52.940 The audiences are great.

00:27:54.780 Pays well.

00:27:56.560 Great location.

00:27:58.120 But...

00:27:58.600 I knew there was a but.

00:27:59.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:00.260 After all that, it's still a smaller city with not a lot of other options for comedy.

00:28:08.880 Yeah.

00:28:09.380 So, people talk about it as this great scene, and it is, but it's really linchpinning on

00:28:14.360 that Mothership.

00:28:15.540 Yeah.

00:28:15.880 You take that out, whereas New York has 11 comedy clubs, you know, multiple theaters,

00:28:22.360 arenas, all this stuff, so I don't think this is even an argument.

00:28:27.520 And is it also as well, look, you go to Austin, and actually, I really like Austin.

00:28:32.960 Me too.

00:28:33.560 I love it.

00:28:34.200 And the thing I like the most about it are the people.

00:28:35.980 I think the Austinites are just charming and warm and really polite and friendly and

00:28:41.880 all the rest of it, right?

00:28:45.000 But that's not going to make you funny, is it, Mark?

00:28:47.220 It's a good point.

00:28:48.300 It's a good point.

00:28:48.980 And the weather's nice, and the girls are pretty, and all that, so I'm with you.

00:28:53.420 But I will say, Austin's is a beautiful thing, because it's right in the middle of the country,

00:28:57.200 right at the bottom middle, and it's kind of got the best of everything, and everyone's

00:29:02.480 a little less worked up over there.

00:29:05.880 In New York, everybody's on edge all the time.

00:29:08.020 In L.A., everybody's too, hey, man, what's shaking?

00:29:11.040 Hey, your house is on fire.

00:29:12.100 Well, you got to do what you got to do, you know?

00:29:14.200 But in Austin, it's like, everyone's perfectly in the middle, and it's a lot more sane there.

00:29:20.400 Yeah.

00:29:21.180 So many fires in this country.

00:29:22.580 It's crazy.

00:29:23.200 Long Island's on fire, you got North Carolina, L.A.

00:29:25.900 Why do you think that is, Mark?

00:29:27.440 I don't know.

00:29:28.280 I don't know.

00:29:28.760 I think there's always been fires.

00:29:31.000 The Great Chicago Fire.

00:29:32.200 I think, like, I looked it up.

00:29:34.760 There's been more, there were more plane crashes at this time last year than this year.

00:29:39.800 But we're seeing more of them now, because, like, DEI and female pilots, everybody makes 0.99

00:29:43.840 it a story.

00:29:44.980 So everybody's like, planes are falling out of the sky.

00:29:47.180 But actually, more fell out of the sky last year.

00:29:49.320 But we can just make a narrative.

00:29:50.720 We can make a headline.

00:29:51.680 We can make a story.

00:29:53.380 Yeah, and then once you make a narrative, a headline, and a story, then you can monetize

00:29:57.080 it for advertising.

00:29:58.220 Exactly.

00:29:58.840 It's fear-mongering, and it works.

00:30:00.220 We'll just give everybody the model of how to do that.

00:30:02.500 Yeah.

00:30:03.820 Now there's loads of people that are just making millions.

00:30:06.100 Well, to be fair, they already are.

00:30:07.400 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:30:08.580 Yeah.

00:30:09.220 I always say fires are the new school shootings in America.

00:30:12.800 There's one a week, and I've stopped caring.

00:30:16.180 You guys don't have those, right?

00:30:17.880 No.

00:30:18.160 What school shootings?

00:30:18.580 Yeah.

00:30:19.120 See, another place we dominate in America.

00:30:21.580 We had one.

00:30:22.720 Really?

00:30:23.180 Yeah.

00:30:23.380 And then we banned guns.

00:30:24.020 And then we banned the guns.

00:30:25.120 Whoa.

00:30:26.800 So you guys are a little more stabby.

00:30:28.520 Yeah.

00:30:28.860 Yeah.

00:30:29.340 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:29.780 Well, if you're going to do it, do it the old-fashioned way.

00:30:31.580 Exactly. 0.95

00:30:31.820 Put some f***ing effort in. 0.92

00:30:33.180 Yes. 0.65

00:30:33.540 That's the difference between a country with history and no history.

00:30:38.100 Well, I always say stabbing is like breaking up with someone in person.

00:30:42.980 Shooting someone in a school, that's breaking up via text.

00:30:46.000 You know, one takes a little high contact.

00:30:47.960 You're like, this is hard for me, too.

00:30:49.420 You know, but the text is easy.

00:30:52.240 Yeah, just fire it out.

00:30:53.380 It's like, you know, it's a very American thing to do.

00:30:56.220 You want as many as in one go as possible.

00:30:58.600 Right.

00:30:59.240 Whilst we're all about the experience.

00:31:00.880 Exactly.

00:31:01.320 It's like the large coffee.

00:31:02.500 We want more.

00:31:03.240 We want more, and it's not necessarily quality.

00:31:05.720 Yeah.

00:31:06.120 And to stab someone, you've got to put the work in.

00:31:07.960 You've got to do some exercise.

00:31:10.360 Exactly.

00:31:11.180 Exactly.

00:31:11.660 Which we don't want to do.

00:31:12.640 No.

00:31:15.760 But, Mark, it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the show.

00:31:18.960 Wait, is it over?

00:31:20.120 Is it?

00:31:20.660 Is it over?

00:31:21.480 How long have we done?

00:31:21.780 What time do we stop?

00:31:22.640 One and a half an hour in.

00:31:23.860 One and a half an hour in?

00:31:24.800 What are you doing here?

00:31:25.640 Oh, sorry.

00:31:26.540 I thought we were.

00:31:28.480 I can't believe that.

00:31:29.820 Sorry.

00:31:30.260 My apologies.

00:31:30.580 Let's not include this bit.

00:31:31.960 Yeah.

00:31:34.660 I can't believe I'm normally really good.

00:31:37.360 Sorry.

00:31:37.760 Was I talking too much?

00:31:38.840 Is that why it felt like longer?

00:31:42.060 No, it's fine.

00:31:44.180 Oh, dear.

00:31:45.040 Well done, mate.

00:31:45.940 Yeah, thank you.

00:31:46.820 Yeah.

00:31:47.140 We actually should include this bit.

00:31:48.440 Yeah.

00:31:48.860 Keep it in.

00:31:49.680 Yeah, I think we're going to keep it in.

00:31:51.020 That was embarrassing.

00:31:52.180 Yeah.

00:31:52.340 You guys do an hour, right?

00:31:53.300 Yeah.

00:31:53.540 Oh, jeez.

00:31:54.320 This is what your country does to me, Mark.

00:32:00.600 I can't.

00:32:01.420 I just, you know, you know what?

00:32:03.380 I love this country so much.

00:32:05.020 I genuinely do.

00:32:06.120 I love it so much.

00:32:07.140 I think it's brilliant.

00:32:08.140 I think there's so much opportunity here.

00:32:10.660 Bah, bah, bah.

00:32:11.380 I just, there are times where I just think, I don't think I could live here because it's

00:32:16.420 just, it's just too much. 1.00

00:32:18.720 Well, let me say, America is like your crazy, drunk, psycho friend. 1.00

00:32:22.920 Like, we have a lot of problems. 1.00

00:32:24.440 We have a lot of drugs.

00:32:25.260 We have a lot of guns.

00:32:26.400 But every time there's a world conflict, who do they call?

00:32:30.140 You call the crazy guy.

00:32:31.900 Hey, we got a war going on with Russia. 0.98

00:32:34.140 Call us.

00:32:35.160 Hey, we got a war going on with Gaza and Palestine. 0.56

00:32:38.920 Call us. 0.93

00:32:39.500 We're the go-to crazy guy. 1.00

00:32:41.740 We're ugly Americans. 1.00

00:32:42.780 We're fat. 1.00

00:32:43.240 We're stupid. 1.00

00:32:43.680 We're illiterate. 1.00

00:32:45.380 But you always call us when there's a fight.

00:32:48.480 We always got to pick up the bar tab.

00:32:50.700 Yeah.

00:32:51.080 You are kind of the elder brother that we all bitterly resent.

00:32:55.140 Yes. 1.00

00:32:55.360 We're idiots. 1.00

00:32:56.160 We live in our mom's basement. 1.00

00:32:57.640 Yeah.

00:32:57.880 We're cleaning a gun and smoking a spliff. 0.80

00:33:00.460 But when the fight goes down, we'll be there.

00:33:03.540 Exactly.

00:33:04.160 And that's, that's, and I don't think people emphasize this enough.

00:33:08.100 That's such an important role.

00:33:09.760 Because if we didn't have that in the world.

00:33:11.480 Yeah, who are you going to call?

00:33:13.780 France?

00:33:15.120 Get out of here. 1.00

00:33:16.500 A bunch of hairy armpitted ladies smoking a cigarette. 1.00

00:33:19.740 They're not going to help you. 0.99

00:33:20.640 Yeah.

00:33:20.960 And it's, it's just a really important role.

00:33:23.080 And sometimes what worries me is that, and I get why Americans are sick of it.

00:33:27.460 I get why you're sick of sending money and losing troops, you know, to, to war zones and

00:33:34.160 all the rest of it.

00:33:35.360 But I just sometimes feel that a world where America, and I'm not talking about interventions,

00:33:42.720 but is seen as a big brother, is preferable to everything else.

00:33:46.980 And even though it is by far not perfect.

00:33:50.000 Yes.

00:33:50.560 Not by a long shot, but I'll take it.

00:33:52.380 That's very nice.

00:33:53.280 No, no country is going to be perfect.

00:33:54.960 There's too many people here.

00:33:56.060 We have 350 million people of many different races.

00:33:59.760 A lot of people, many immigrants, it's going to, it's going to be friction. 1.00

00:34:05.380 Yeah.

00:34:05.740 It's inevitable.

00:34:07.040 Yeah.

00:34:07.300 Yeah.

00:34:07.420 But I think what Francis is saying is like America being in that position is a lot better

00:34:11.680 for everybody, including Americans than if China was in that position or Russia was

00:34:15.760 in that position.

00:34:16.400 Completely agree.

00:34:17.500 China's communist.

00:34:18.600 They got a bunch of slaves over there. 0.94

00:34:20.780 We just don't call them out because we don't want to look anti-Asian. 1.00

00:34:25.660 But they're fucked up. 1.00

00:34:26.780 And we want their widgets. 1.00

00:34:28.220 Yes.

00:34:28.580 Good point.

00:34:29.400 We like their stuff.

00:34:30.860 What's going on with London, by the way?

00:34:32.400 I mean, all I see on the news is like Muslim fistfights and girls getting ripped and all 1.00

00:34:37.660 this shit. 0.99

00:34:38.760 I'm going to be honest with you, mate. 1.00

00:34:39.800 I've never seen those gestures done with those subjects.

00:34:43.640 I was trying to think of everything.

00:34:45.520 Yeah.

00:34:45.840 You seem in a very celebratory mood. 1.00

00:34:47.940 Well, it's nice to know that we're not the only ones that are fucked up. 0.98

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00:36:06.800 Investing is all about the future.

00:36:08.860 So, what do you think is going to happen?

00:36:10.880 Bitcoin is sort of inevitable at this point.

00:36:13.380 I think it would come down to precious metals.

00:36:15.960 I hope we don't go cashless.

00:36:18.080 I would say land is a safe investment.

00:36:20.620 Technology companies.

00:36:21.800 Solar energy.

00:36:22.780 Robotic pollinators might be a thing. 1.00

00:36:25.180 A wrestler to face a robot.

00:36:27.100 That will have to happen.

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00:36:37.800 Everything okay?

00:36:38.740 I mean, look, I know the news, again, everything's extreme.

00:36:42.680 But how is it?

00:36:43.780 I heard a guy said a Facebook post and he got arrested.

00:36:47.640 Yeah, UK is pretty fun.

00:36:49.380 Really?

00:36:49.960 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:50.460 Damn. 1.00

00:36:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:36:51.280 That's so sad.

00:36:52.040 Yeah.

00:36:52.760 Like, economically, we're pretty fun.

00:36:55.180 Um, and culturally as well.

00:36:58.120 Yeah.

00:36:58.520 Aye, aye, aye.

00:36:59.280 What do you think happened?

00:37:00.260 You think we got too nice and people took advantage?

00:37:02.920 I think we've just had incredibly poor leadership for the last 15 years, Mark, who have just been pursuing policies that are ultimately destructive to the nation.

00:37:12.980 And if you're wondering why the tone has changed, it's because we're talking about the UK.

00:37:16.940 Before that, we were like, hey, America.

00:37:20.180 Isn't it great?

00:37:20.900 Now, Francis is like in a deep depression.

00:37:22.920 We've just, you know, just had poor leadership.

00:37:25.320 Well, I'm going over there in a month.

00:37:26.640 Should I bring this up or should I steer clear? 0.86

00:37:29.040 No, just bring a stab fist. 1.00

00:37:30.160 Take the piss. 1.00

00:37:30.920 Take the piss and bring a stab fist. 1.00

00:37:32.620 Yeah, you'll be fine. 1.00

00:37:33.420 Okay, okay.

00:37:34.060 All right.

00:37:34.580 No, you know what it is?

00:37:35.640 It's an incredible country.

00:37:38.040 It is.

00:37:38.740 It still has amazing things.

00:37:41.440 It still does.

00:37:42.580 There's a magic about England.

00:37:44.560 I think it's a very special place.

00:37:46.620 Yeah.

00:37:47.100 It's incredibly special.

00:37:48.580 And you see that with people when they first arrive,

00:37:50.980 especially Americans, and you look and you see history, Mark.

00:37:55.740 Yeah, 100%.

00:37:56.560 Like real history.

00:37:57.360 Real history.

00:37:57.960 Not the stuff you do here.

00:38:00.020 Real history.

00:38:01.180 Things that are actually old.

00:38:02.840 Yes, yes.

00:38:04.080 But, you know, and that gives it a sense of, you know, gravitas.

00:38:09.940 And it's just sad to see it kind of making the wrong choices.

00:38:15.580 And they are choices.

00:38:16.600 Is it curable?

00:38:17.420 Can you get out of it?

00:38:18.640 We'll see.

00:38:19.300 We'll see.

00:38:19.880 I mean, for us, our political system is very different to yours.

00:38:22.920 So it's a lot harder for any new voice to come through.

00:38:28.020 Like the way Trump just came out of it.

00:38:29.500 Like he was famous, but not political, right?

00:38:31.640 Yeah.

00:38:31.960 That happened quickly.

00:38:33.600 All he had to do is put himself forward and start.

00:38:36.340 Like in the UK, you have to have a whole party of like 300 members of parliament.

00:38:42.920 Like 300 people.

00:38:43.880 Oh, wow.

00:38:44.300 So if you're starting something from scratch, it is very difficult.

00:38:47.800 Yeah.

00:38:48.220 Yeah.

00:38:48.840 Eat a wild card or something.

00:38:50.660 Well, even then.

00:38:51.860 So, yeah, it's a much harder process, much slower process.

00:38:55.440 But can't people see the writing on the walls and go, I know there's 300 of us, but we all need to figure this out?

00:39:00.780 Yeah.

00:39:01.100 Well, right now, the party that I'm talking about, they have five and they've got a civil war within the party and they're all.

00:39:07.540 Oh, God.

00:39:08.800 They're all at each other's throats.

00:39:10.680 Yeah.

00:39:10.940 Yikes.

00:39:11.340 Yeah.

00:39:11.820 And they're not pure enough for some people.

00:39:14.960 They're not racist enough for other people. 0.90

00:39:16.760 It's like crazy. 0.79

00:39:17.960 Yeah.

00:39:18.560 Interesting.

00:39:19.280 Yeah.

00:39:19.480 Yikes.

00:39:20.040 See, again, we always go, oh, these times are crazy.

00:39:22.380 But, you know, you look back to the French Revolution or, you know, pick any time in history.

00:39:27.760 People can get their heads cut off and the brother killing the son or whatever.

00:39:33.460 I mean, there's all kinds. 0.97

00:39:34.180 This is not new.

00:39:35.580 No.

00:39:35.940 No.

00:39:36.160 It's just because we've got access to all of the news in the world at 30 seconds.

00:39:42.380 Exactly.

00:39:42.480 And the thing that's going to rise to the top of the algorithm is obviously going to be something unspeakably awful.

00:39:48.560 Right.

00:39:49.100 So you're going to open it.

00:39:50.160 You go, I can't believe 30 people have been shot in a nightclub in Belize.

00:39:54.880 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:55.740 That's terrible.

00:39:56.780 And then you read all about it and you're like, oh, that's.

00:39:59.740 I'll be honest with you, man.

00:40:00.440 I'm not that worried about Belize.

00:40:02.960 My issue is when 30 people are blown up down the road.

00:40:06.160 That's the bit I worry about.

00:40:07.760 You know what I mean?

00:40:08.420 Yes.

00:40:08.820 Yeah.

00:40:09.300 Yeah.

00:40:09.480 Good point.

00:40:10.380 But, you know, all, you know, things happen in America that you just wouldn't have been aware of in Britain.

00:40:15.600 It just makes.

00:40:16.940 Yeah.

00:40:17.200 But again, you see, you can't say that because for me, our cultures are so closely knit together now because of the Internet.

00:40:24.400 Yes.

00:40:24.800 That something that happens in America doesn't stay in America.

00:40:27.720 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:27.960 So we worry about American shit, not because we care about Americans. 1.00

00:40:31.220 It's because we care about ourselves and we're like, oh, this is coming to us, whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

00:40:35.540 No, but I think it's even more than that. 0.96

00:40:37.680 I think it's just the content then just activates you.

00:40:42.080 So it's I just don't even think it's an intellectual thing like that.

00:40:46.140 I think it's just purely an emotional reaction.

00:40:49.020 You see or read or hear something.

00:40:50.580 You go into it and then you have a reaction to that.

00:40:53.020 Yeah.

00:40:53.160 But do you have the same reaction about something that happens in France?

00:40:57.600 No, you don't.

00:40:59.140 Why is that?

00:40:59.880 Well, because American and British culture are very closely connected because we speak the same language.

00:41:04.920 We watch your movies.

00:41:05.900 We watch your comedy specials.

00:41:07.300 We watch your everything.

00:41:08.480 Yeah.

00:41:08.660 So what we think increasingly, it's like almost like a common Anglosphere space that happens in Britain also happens in Australia five years later.

00:41:18.380 It's like a pipeline, you know, and it's not exactly the same because the culture gets shaped by whatever is going on locally.

00:41:25.540 We reject some things.

00:41:26.700 We accept some things.

00:41:27.780 But a lot of it is downloaded from here.

00:41:31.840 So that's why I think we care about American stuff more than we do about what happens in other countries because it gets filtered down to us.

00:41:39.460 It's like the hand-me-down.

00:41:40.820 Yeah.

00:41:41.140 I care how you treat those trousers because I'm going to get them.

00:41:43.960 Which is ironic because we were your hand-me-down.

00:41:46.540 Yeah.

00:41:46.720 We came from you guys originally.

00:41:48.400 Yeah.

00:41:48.480 Yeah.

00:41:49.120 Exactly.

00:41:49.580 Yeah.

00:41:50.020 One would even say illegally, Mark.

00:41:52.100 Sure.

00:41:52.620 Again, another crazy moment in history.

00:41:54.560 You know, we act like these are the craziest times. 0.60

00:41:56.420 But a bunch of British people came here and then killed a bunch of Native Americans and started a life. 1.00

00:42:01.840 Yeah.

00:42:02.380 It wasn't just the British.

00:42:03.580 No.

00:42:03.820 That's true.

00:42:04.300 Everybody got involved.

00:42:05.480 That's true.

00:42:06.260 Yeah.

00:42:06.980 But now your president wants to reabsorb Canada.

00:42:10.240 Yeah.

00:42:11.160 Are you pro-Canada as a 51st state?

00:42:14.800 I love Canada.

00:42:15.780 I've been playing there for years.

00:42:17.100 I have many Canadian friends.

00:42:18.700 So I don't know if this is a great idea.

00:42:21.940 Like, just let Canada be Canada.

00:42:23.900 Let Mexico be Mexico. 0.98

00:42:24.840 We had a good relationship.

00:42:26.220 It was our upstairs, downstairs neighbor.

00:42:28.260 And we were the fun apartment.

00:42:29.720 And he was the boring guy.

00:42:30.820 And they were the guy we got drugs from.

00:42:32.760 You know?

00:42:34.000 So now I'm like...

00:42:36.400 It was a perfect neighborhood.

00:42:37.200 Yeah.

00:42:37.580 But I do think Canada has its problems.

00:42:39.660 Like, even before Trump.

00:42:40.660 Like, the truckers and all the Trudeau hate.

00:42:43.040 Every time I go to Canada, I go, what's up with Trudeau?

00:42:44.560 They boo for like four minutes.

00:42:46.360 It's crazy.

00:42:47.560 So and then they got to...

00:42:48.260 That might just be your audience.

00:42:49.400 That's true.

00:42:50.120 That's true.

00:42:50.580 But they got a lot of indigenous stuff going on over there.

00:42:53.940 And so I think Canada had its problems.

00:42:56.580 But this...

00:42:57.140 I just think this is unnecessary.

00:42:58.460 I think we got bigger fish to fry.

00:42:59.800 So Trump stirring this pot and then trying to say Gulf of America.

00:43:03.220 I think all that is unnecessary.

00:43:05.140 So I wish...

00:43:06.760 I get it with the tariffs.

00:43:07.840 The tariffs thing actually makes sense to me.

00:43:09.620 I know that's like a radioactive term right now.

00:43:12.440 But I kind of get it.

00:43:14.900 Like, hey, why will we'll just do reciprocal?

00:43:17.320 You charge this, we'll charge that.

00:43:18.600 But why are we paying way more?

00:43:20.540 So part...

00:43:21.140 But again, I'm ignorant.

00:43:22.460 But part of me, like on paper, I'm like, that seems pretty normal.

00:43:24.900 But again, I think we should have just...

00:43:27.660 Let's just let everybody live.

00:43:29.960 What about Greenland?

00:43:31.660 Greenland, I find, is...

00:43:32.880 I don't get that one either.

00:43:33.760 That feels like a red herring.

00:43:35.960 Like, hey, we're going to buy Greenland.

00:43:37.480 Let's focus on that while I, you know, finger Stormy Daniels over here. 1.00

00:43:42.560 You know, like the Jews were offered Greenland. 0.61

00:43:44.520 Did you know that?

00:43:45.140 I did not know that.

00:43:45.900 Yeah, they were offered Greenland before Israel.

00:43:48.220 And they said, too cold, we're going to the desert.

00:43:50.520 Really?

00:43:50.960 Yeah.

00:43:51.640 So the Jews knew. 0.83

00:43:52.540 Well, that's not looking like a good decision right now, is it?

00:43:55.140 That's true.

00:43:55.600 That's true.

00:43:56.380 I mean, you've never been to Greenland, mate.

00:43:58.020 Yeah, I don't know.

00:43:59.320 I think Greenland seems like it's quite peaceful and calm.

00:44:02.940 That's true.

00:44:03.320 In comparison, at least.

00:44:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:44:05.760 Yeah.

00:44:05.940 So I think just, he should have just let it live, because now we've got more to worry

00:44:10.980 about.

00:44:11.580 We have a lot on our plate already.

00:44:12.740 Now we're worried about Canada?

00:44:14.340 Come on.

00:44:16.240 He's weird.

00:44:17.540 I'm like, who picks a fight with the Canadians?

00:44:20.300 Yes.

00:44:21.020 And now they're booing us.

00:44:22.120 I'm like, you guys were the nice ones.

00:44:23.580 You guys are supposed to be nice.

00:44:24.480 You're not supposed to boo.

00:44:25.940 You know what Canada is?

00:44:27.280 Canada is your lovely little sister, who you love to pieces, and then she went to university

00:44:35.280 and she got spitefully woke.

00:44:38.240 It does feel like that, doesn't it?

00:44:40.500 And then you just aren't, but you were lovely.

00:44:43.000 What's going on?

00:44:43.440 Well, they've got rid of Trudeau and they've replaced him with a guy who wasn't even elected.

00:44:46.620 He used to be the governor of our Bank of England.

00:44:48.700 Oh, a lot of red flags there.

00:44:51.400 Not elected and bank guy.

00:44:53.180 That's bad.

00:44:54.020 Yeah.

00:44:54.180 So we'll see what happens, man.

00:44:56.020 Yeah, we'll see.

00:44:56.800 But nothing's perfect.

00:44:57.940 We forget.

00:44:58.660 Everything is nuance and complexity.

00:45:00.720 Nuance is the new N-word.

00:45:01.940 That's what I've been saying.

00:45:03.540 Martin Luther King, you know, hero, civil rights leader, amazing guy, an icon, you know, 1.00

00:45:10.800 crazy womanizer, hit women. 1.00

00:45:13.040 So people are flawed. 1.00

00:45:14.680 Churchill, your guy, unbelievable.

00:45:17.040 What a badass. 0.67

00:45:18.700 Beat the Nazis. 0.99

00:45:20.140 They hated Indians. 1.00

00:45:21.120 He was like, Indians are gross. 1.00

00:45:22.420 Get rid of them. 1.00

00:45:23.080 They're the worst. 0.98

00:45:23.600 So like, people are-

00:45:24.720 I don't think those were his exact words, to be fair.

00:45:27.920 He was a brilliant writer.

00:45:28.940 I think he was slightly more classy about it.

00:45:32.020 Sure, sure.

00:45:32.620 The sentiment was, I'm sure, the same.

00:45:34.540 Yeah, it was possibly more nuanced.

00:45:36.540 Imagine we went back in history and it turned out that Winston Churchill tore like Mark Norman.

00:45:40.660 That would be a disappointment.

00:45:43.140 No.

00:45:43.780 He's a very eloquent, great writer.

00:45:45.520 Yeah.

00:45:46.080 And a cool dude, you know, hitting the sauce at like 11 a.m.

00:45:50.080 Yeah.

00:45:50.900 Legend.

00:45:51.880 Yeah, it was.

00:45:52.620 Total legend.

00:45:53.560 Beat Hitler, stood up to the bully. 0.80

00:45:55.820 But, you know, he didn't get re-elected after that.

00:45:58.040 It was so sad.

00:45:59.140 After that, they were like, ah, we've had enough of you.

00:46:01.620 I don't, I think he did get re-elected, actually. 1.00

00:46:04.100 That's shit. 1.00

00:46:04.560 He did get re-elected. 1.00

00:46:05.420 I know, I'm with Mark.

00:46:06.780 No, he's not.

00:46:07.400 He did get re-elected because he got, what happened is they had an election post-World

00:46:11.900 War II.

00:46:12.420 Yeah.

00:46:12.760 And he was kicked out.

00:46:14.940 He lost that one.

00:46:15.740 He lost that one.

00:46:16.640 But then he came back.

00:46:17.920 You're right.

00:46:18.260 I think in, I think in the 50s he came back when he was a very, very old man.

00:46:23.300 Am I right?

00:46:24.220 I just think it shows you that the British aren't grateful. 1.00

00:46:28.080 Billy, am I right?

00:46:29.820 I think he lost one, then won one later.

00:46:32.420 So there was like, we haven't enough Churchill for now.

00:46:34.360 We need a minute with Churchill.

00:46:36.300 Yeah.

00:46:36.480 But, great guy.

00:46:38.380 Great.

00:46:38.560 Didn't like Indians, though, is your point. 1.00

00:46:39.840 No, no, no.

00:46:41.100 Which is fine.

00:46:42.080 Are you not like a group?

00:46:45.260 You know, but you know.

00:46:45.920 No, you can't.

00:46:46.840 I guess you're right.

00:46:47.940 What's up?

00:46:49.760 There you go.

00:46:50.580 So they had him back in after voting him out.

00:46:53.220 Yeah, after voting him out, which is, you know.

00:46:55.800 But there is a little bit of ingratitude.

00:46:58.740 How could you vote out the man who said we will fight them on the beaches?

00:47:02.640 We didn't do it in Russia, mate.

00:47:05.240 Stalin stayed right where he was.

00:47:08.020 What do I need to know about Ukraine?

00:47:09.760 All I know is Zelensky dresses like a ninja.

00:47:12.200 He needs money.

00:47:13.660 He barely speaks the language.

00:47:15.060 What do I need to know about Ukraine?

00:47:16.860 You got some Nazis over there, but who doesn't? 0.98

00:47:19.680 Well, basically.

00:47:21.060 Well, every country in Eastern Europe has a small amount of Nazis, but the people in charge aren't Nazis.

00:47:27.320 Sure.

00:47:27.660 You know.

00:47:27.860 I just hope it's going to be over soon, to be honest.

00:47:30.880 Let's hope.

00:47:31.680 Yeah.

00:47:32.380 Trump's doing everything he can.

00:47:34.180 Really?

00:47:35.180 Is that sarcasm?

00:47:36.160 No.

00:47:36.760 Okay.

00:47:37.380 No, Trump's genuinely trying.

00:47:39.160 I'm quite surprised.

00:47:39.860 Like, I actually don't agree with a lot of the stuff the right says about Ukraine in this country,

00:47:44.160 but I genuinely think Trump is really, like, to me, a surprisingly level of, like, genuinely trying to fix it.

00:47:51.040 Yeah.

00:47:51.520 To my sense.

00:47:52.300 The right is getting wacky.

00:47:53.780 I just find with any group that is in power becomes a douche.

00:47:58.460 Yeah.

00:47:58.660 You know, men, women.

00:48:00.000 Women get in power. 1.00

00:48:00.820 Like, there's a woman who works for Meta, a CEO, who started Me Too-ing women. 0.99

00:48:05.040 She's a lesbian. 1.00

00:48:06.080 So, I'm like, it's not a man-woman thing.

00:48:07.940 It's just power.

00:48:08.760 Yeah.

00:48:09.140 You know?

00:48:09.800 So, uh...

00:48:10.560 We were talking about today over lunch.

00:48:12.160 It's like, I almost feel like Twitter in particular is like the ring of power.

00:48:16.220 And whoever has it, it has a slightly corrupting effect on them.

00:48:19.780 Wow.

00:48:19.980 That's interesting.

00:48:20.720 You know? 0.94

00:48:21.440 And, like, when the left had control of Twitter, it was full of woke retards. 1.00

00:48:25.820 Yes.

00:48:26.100 Right? 0.95

00:48:26.380 Now Twitter is increasingly full of right-wing retards. 1.00

00:48:29.260 Yes. 0.86

00:48:29.900 I made a Barron Trump joke. 0.98

00:48:31.500 I got f***ing slammed. 0.95

00:48:33.320 I got dragged all day long. 0.94

00:48:34.640 And I'm like, you guys weren't mad when I was doing Greta Thunberg jokes.

00:48:37.520 No.

00:48:38.060 Because they're like, he's so young.

00:48:39.180 How dare you make fun of a young kid?

00:48:40.820 I'm like, hey, he's 18.

00:48:42.060 He's getting laid in NYU. 0.99

00:48:43.380 He's f***ing crushing puss over there. 0.99

00:48:46.360 So, the guy, he's seven feet tall or whatever. 0.99

00:48:48.820 Let me make fun of the guy.

00:48:50.320 I'll try to keep it even.

00:48:51.780 Yeah.

00:48:52.300 So, everybody gets mad when you make fun of their thing.

00:48:55.460 I don't care who you are.

00:48:56.760 Yeah, but that's why you're cool.

00:48:57.780 But most people don't want to keep it even.

00:48:59.660 Yeah, and that bias will really make you blindsided.

00:49:02.540 And it's not just with comedy. 0.95

00:49:03.820 It's like we comment on shit happens seriously as well as comedically, right? 0.99

00:49:07.880 And I always thought that the job of people who are doing that is to call the balls and 0.99

00:49:12.660 strikes.

00:49:13.440 Yeah.

00:49:13.700 But everyone wants you to be on the field on their team.

00:49:17.440 Yes.

00:49:17.820 And I don't understand why that's necessary.

00:49:19.980 I completely agree.

00:49:21.180 Like, you can go, Elon's going a little crazy, but Tesla's a great car. 0.99

00:49:24.840 Or Trump's a f***ing psycho, but man, is he funny? 0.99

00:49:27.540 You're like, why can't we say both? 1.00

00:49:29.260 People get like, I called Trump funny once, and this lady like chewed me out. 1.00

00:49:32.820 She's like, you're all right now?

00:49:33.860 And I'm like, I said, he's funny.

00:49:35.660 He's talking about, he's doing this.

00:49:37.400 He's doing retards. 1.00

00:49:38.280 That's hilarious.

00:49:38.920 I'm not saying I approve of it.

00:49:40.200 I'm saying it's hilarious.

00:49:41.320 Like, why can't two things exist?

00:49:43.960 Yeah. 0.79

00:49:44.300 It's a silly, silly thing that's like, I'm all in on this. 0.92

00:49:49.200 So now if your group kills a guy for no reason, you got to be all in on it? 0.99

00:49:52.900 It's a kiss of death in an argument, I think.

00:49:56.080 And it's a kiss of death, I think, for society.

00:49:58.600 Yes.

00:49:59.620 If you live your life like that, genuinely, I mean, it's kind of tragic, actually.

00:50:07.520 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:07.880 You must be eating away at your brain a little, like, yeah, I have to silence shit. 1.00

00:50:11.200 Like, oh, I didn't think that was great, but it's my side, so I got to go with it. 0.99

00:50:14.540 I think the trans stuff had a lot of that in there.

00:50:17.720 Yeah.

00:50:18.040 How do you mean?

00:50:18.840 I mean, like, the super far left, I think, saw some trans stuff and eventually was like,

00:50:24.260 wait, you're identifying as a turtle?

00:50:26.460 Like, ah, I guess I got to go with it because I'm a super lefty and I'm progressive and for

00:50:31.740 the LGBTQ community.

00:50:34.180 By the way, enough with the communities.

00:50:36.020 Well, it's too many communities.

00:50:37.060 Do I have a community?

00:50:38.560 I'm a white guy.

00:50:39.620 I guess we have a gay community. 0.76

00:50:41.320 But yeah, so like, so, oh, you identify as a turtle. 1.00

00:50:45.460 That's fucking retarded, but I can't say it. 1.00

00:50:48.140 So that's where I check out. 1.00

00:50:49.820 Like, I've always been a left-leaning guy, but you're like, the turtle thing? 0.97

00:50:54.680 That's silly. 0.53

00:50:55.500 And then if you call it silly, they go, what are you, a right winger? 0.98

00:50:57.760 And you're like, the turtle, she's dressed with a shell on.

00:51:01.900 Like, what do you want from me?

00:51:03.400 Can't we be sane?

00:51:04.260 Let's just be sane.

00:51:05.880 Well, now with that, we can end the interview without doing it half an hour early.

00:51:09.860 Yeah, exactly.

00:51:11.020 Wait, what do you guys think?

00:51:11.900 Don't let me hang on there.

00:51:13.000 Am I wrong?

00:51:13.680 Am I right?

00:51:14.220 Am I gay?

00:51:14.500 You're obviously right.

00:51:15.260 You're obviously right.

00:51:15.860 All right.

00:51:16.420 You're obviously right.

00:51:17.180 You just want sanity to win.

00:51:18.520 That's all I want at the end of the day.

00:51:19.580 Yeah, we were having a conversation about this.

00:51:22.920 Yeah, I mean, look, we talked with Andrew Schultz about this, right?

00:51:25.900 He was talking about the fact that when the pendulum swings from one extreme to the other,

00:51:29.760 it doesn't spend a lot of time in the middle.

00:51:31.660 Right.

00:51:32.380 I don't know if you feel that way.

00:51:33.760 Yeah, the middle is nice.

00:51:35.080 It's like a nice warm tub.

00:51:36.460 Let's just hang out in the middle.

00:51:37.620 But it's not exciting enough for people.

00:51:40.260 No.

00:51:40.600 So they got to push that thing.

00:51:41.620 Like, the dopamine is such a powerful thing.

00:51:45.240 Everyone wants to, like, go hard.

00:51:47.080 Yes.

00:51:47.180 It's online.

00:51:48.060 Yeah.

00:51:48.360 Online.

00:51:49.180 Yeah, 100%.

00:51:50.000 And the question is, the thing that no one quite understands yet is the relationship between

00:51:54.660 online and the real world.

00:51:56.220 I can't tell you, like, some people will say, well, look, this thing happened online.

00:52:00.820 It's online. 0.99

00:52:01.720 No one gives a shit. 0.99

00:52:02.460 Right. 0.99

00:52:02.780 Right?

00:52:02.960 And then other people will say, yeah, but things that go online don't stay online.

00:52:10.020 Right?

00:52:10.420 They manifest themselves in real world stuff.

00:52:12.820 Yeah.

00:52:13.200 Right?

00:52:13.420 And I don't know how you feel about that.

00:52:17.300 I think online is more real than we think.

00:52:19.480 Like, if you start tweeting about a guy being a pedophile, I think eventually it could catch

00:52:23.180 steam and then the guy's life is ruined.

00:52:24.960 Yeah.

00:52:25.160 So there is that part.

00:52:26.520 But then there's the whole thing of, like, I got a bunch of death threats once for a joke.

00:52:31.060 And part of me is kind of like, should I be worried about this?

00:52:33.420 Is somebody going to come to my house and kill me or see me out and kill me?

00:52:36.160 But then nothing happens.

00:52:37.480 So you're like, all right, that's not real.

00:52:38.920 Yeah.

00:52:39.200 So I think it's 50-50.

00:52:42.400 Yeah.

00:52:43.420 It's interesting.

00:52:44.360 All right.

00:52:44.700 Well, head on over to Substack where you get to ask Mark your questions.

00:52:48.980 There you go.

00:52:50.100 Oh, wait.

00:52:50.740 No, no.

00:52:51.260 We didn't do the last question.

00:52:52.220 Oh, yeah.

00:52:52.540 We didn't do the last question.

00:52:53.740 I was going to say it's one all, but me cutting the interview in half was probably worse.

00:52:57.560 Yeah.

00:52:58.060 Missing out the last question.

00:52:59.520 Come on.

00:53:00.140 You guys are slipping.

00:53:00.960 Come on.

00:53:01.280 Yeah.

00:53:01.420 Come on.

00:53:01.860 Yeah.

00:53:02.060 It is.

00:53:02.540 It is.

00:53:02.980 We are.

00:53:04.120 Our high standards are slipping.

00:53:05.480 So final thing, question, is always the same.

00:53:07.720 What's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be?

00:53:10.420 I think you said it best.

00:53:11.840 Just the don't get too biased.

00:53:16.540 Open your mind up.

00:53:17.680 Have some critical thinking.

00:53:19.700 You got to check your friends.

00:53:21.480 Start checking them. 0.95

00:53:22.300 Going like, you know, when somebody goes, all Republicans are racist. 0.96

00:53:25.000 And you're like, that's crazy. 0.93

00:53:27.240 Relax. 0.99

00:53:27.540 And then when the Republicans are like, if you if you jizz in a condom, that's that's 0.99

00:53:33.200 an abortion, an abortion. 1.00

00:53:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:53:36.220 And you're like, what are you nuts? 0.77

00:53:37.620 So you got to start checking people. 0.96

00:53:39.400 And we got to get out of this.

00:53:42.420 We got to stop doing the right left thing.

00:53:44.140 It's too much.

00:53:45.160 What side are you on?

00:53:46.600 Even on TV, we put a D next to the guy's name or an R next to the guy's name.

00:53:50.940 And then you go, all right, I know where they stand.

00:53:52.440 Like, but you don't.

00:53:54.220 They're complex.

00:53:55.140 They're human beings, you know.

00:53:57.020 So I think break out of that and just enjoy people for who they are.

00:54:03.020 That's what we should be talking about.

00:54:04.240 Enough of this.

00:54:05.260 Like, people go, Bill Maher is so cool.

00:54:07.300 He has he has right wing people on. 0.99

00:54:08.920 I'm like, he has people on enough with the identity bullshit. 0.97

00:54:12.340 You know, I remember when Jeffrey Dahmer had that show on Netflix. 1.00

00:54:15.180 They're like, Jeffrey Dahmer is killing brown people. 0.85

00:54:18.020 I'm like, he's killing people. 0.99

00:54:19.440 Who cares what color they are? 1.00

00:54:20.920 He's killing them and eating them. 1.00

00:54:22.040 He's a big, weird gay guy who likes to be a cannibal. 1.00

00:54:24.740 So just see people as people. 0.99

00:54:27.800 Enough with what side they're on, what they look like, what race they are, what gender they are. 0.96

00:54:31.460 Just treat everybody the same.

00:54:33.280 That's racist. 0.99

00:54:33.920 Hit women is what I'm saying. 1.00

00:54:35.100 If you're going to hit a man, hit a woman. 1.00

00:54:36.940 No, I'm just joking. 0.99

00:54:38.400 I'm a comedian.

00:54:41.100 That is the most like pre-cancellation.

00:54:45.080 Look, I'm a comedian.

00:54:46.260 Don't cancel me.

00:54:47.300 Just joking.

00:54:48.260 We're having a good time.

00:54:49.240 You realize they're going to clip that bit out.

00:54:51.000 Of course.

00:54:51.820 Yeah.

00:54:52.220 We're going to find out cancel counter is real.

00:54:54.820 Yeah.

00:54:55.380 All right.

00:54:56.140 Take C.

00:54:56.800 Head on over to Substack.

00:54:57.860 We'll see you there with your questions for Mark.

00:55:01.320 Do you appear to be an equal opportunities comedian when it comes to skewering politicians?

00:55:06.140 Hey.

00:55:06.300 How have you found the Trump presidency so far for providing material versus Biden's turn?

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00:56:16.580 And if you want to stay tuned for it, we'll see you next time.

00:56:17.760 Take care.

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00:56:19.200 Thank you for today.

00:56:20.080 Bye-bye.

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TRIGGERnometry - May 07, 2025

Nuance is the new N-word - Mark Normand

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