TRIGGERnometry - Porn, Only Fans and Bodycount - Candice Horbacz

00:00:00.700 Broadway's smash hit, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.

00:00:06.520 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs you love,

00:00:11.780 including America, Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.

00:00:15.780 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful, the next musical mega hit is here, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise.

00:00:22.660 April 28th through June 7th, 2026, The Princess of Wales Theatre.

00:00:27.120 Get tickets at Mirvish.com.

00:00:30.980 I'm so getting, this is actually something I can get cancelled for, even though it's absolutely true.

00:00:36.200 How do you give a woman the ick? 1.00

00:00:38.780 It's anything.

00:00:40.180 It's anything.

00:00:42.200 It could be the way that your fingernails are clipped.

00:00:44.880 It could be the way that you pick up your tea.

00:00:47.400 Well, I just think it's...

00:00:48.460 We work really hard.

00:00:49.880 I know, me too.

00:00:50.680 And like I said, I really appreciate how brave you guys are that I'm teaching.

00:00:54.240 Yeah, but if I hold, well, I held the mug the wrong way and now a woman's got the ick. 1.00

00:00:59.420 Can you see why it's easier to be gay? 0.94

00:01:02.440 So, you mentioned something very interesting there, which is all day foreplay.

00:01:06.100 Yes.

00:01:06.480 Talk to us about that.

00:01:07.440 Broadway's smash hit, The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.

00:01:15.820 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs

00:01:20.340 you love, including America, Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.

00:01:25.080 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful, the next musical mega hit is here.

00:01:29.120 The Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise.

00:01:31.800 Now through June 7th, 2026 at the Princess of Wales Theatre.

00:01:36.100 Get tickets at Mirbish.com.

00:01:39.740 Candice, great to have you back on the show.

00:01:41.420 Thanks for having me.

00:01:42.200 We really wanted to talk to you because you're kind of in this super unique position in that

00:01:46.420 you're a former adult actress, but you're also kind of, you know, in a more center-right

00:01:51.960 leaning space, I guess.

00:01:53.200 So, that's a combination in itself.

00:01:55.620 And then there's all these weird conversations now happening online, like, body count and

00:02:00.160 OnlyFans are all this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:02:03.080 Like, what do you make of all the stuff that's going on?

00:02:05.540 So, I think that there are unhealthy examples of sexuality on the fringes and that even most

00:02:10.840 people kind of in the middle of that bell curve also have an unhealthy relationship to

00:02:14.700 the sex and sensuality and pleasure in general.

00:02:17.820 I've existed in both extremes.

00:02:19.740 So, one which is, like, shame, purity culture, purity rings, and then the other which is

00:02:23.920 all sex is meaningless. 0.82

00:02:25.720 Have as much of it as you want. 0.98

00:02:27.680 Be gluttonous.

00:02:28.380 There's no consequences.

00:02:29.880 And you can do it all without getting attached.

00:02:32.260 Like, that's not true for most people.

00:02:34.220 So, before you go into it, what is a purity ring?

00:02:36.400 I hope it's not something that I don't want to have the visual of.

00:02:39.920 What is a purity ring?

00:02:40.920 So, a purity ring is given to you by a boyfriend or a dad.

00:02:44.600 That's weird.

00:02:45.340 I know.

00:02:46.320 And you put it on your wedding ring finger, and you make a promise to that man or boy

00:02:53.100 and God, and you say that you're saving yourself for marriage.

00:02:55.960 Okay.

00:02:56.640 Right.

00:02:57.140 And so, you wore one of these?

00:02:58.060 I wore one.

00:02:58.600 Okay.

00:02:58.880 So, you were kind of in that shame bit?

00:03:01.700 Yeah, for a long time.

00:03:02.780 And I left a long-term relationship.

00:03:05.220 I felt a weird calling and pull to express myself sexually in what I thought was a safe container

00:03:12.560 of the porn industry. 0.55

00:03:14.400 And I think that you can learn a lot about yourself through sex.

00:03:19.320 You learn a lot about yourself when you're thrown into the fire, because that's obviously

00:03:22.500 still a very taboo industry to be in.

00:03:24.580 So, it forces you to look at yourself.

00:03:26.540 But what I've learned through all of that is that there is no right answer for everybody.

00:03:31.380 You have to kind of come to that on your own.

00:03:33.400 And you have these people that are preaching to you that there is this one and only way

00:03:37.000 to have a healthy lifestyle.

00:03:38.640 And I just don't find that to be true.

00:03:40.320 I don't think that we need to hold on to this shame.

00:03:43.580 Like, yes, there are certain versions of shame that are healthy and useful, but that's not

00:03:47.240 what I'm seeing.

00:03:47.840 Like, I'm seeing it used against you, weaponized.

00:03:50.520 It's meant to make you detached from yourself, from your pleasure, from your life force.

00:03:54.960 And then this other thing is equally much of a problem, which is telling mostly young women

00:03:59.900 to just sleep with everybody, be the cool girl, and do it all without catching feelings.

00:04:05.660 And that's not possible for most women. 1.00

00:04:08.420 That's, you know, one of the interesting things that I really took away from our conversation

00:04:12.400 with you and with Ayla, who we had on some time ago as well, was that, like, I don't think

00:04:17.220 most women are wired like you or her. 1.00

00:04:20.700 Because I remember talking to her, and it was just, it was very authentically her, the

00:04:26.000 lifestyle that she leads, that most women absolutely do not want to have, right? 1.00

00:04:30.000 So it seems like all of this advice that people are seeing on the internet, young men, young

00:04:34.680 women especially, it's like this generalized stereotypical thing that's being imposed on 1.00

00:04:39.520 everybody when people are different.

00:04:41.960 And then there comes the uber shame part of it, which is when someone is wired differently, 0.99

00:04:47.300 they're like a whore or a slut or whatever straight away. 1.00

00:04:49.620 Does that ring true to you? 1.00

00:04:51.060 Yeah, and I would agree with Ayla.

00:04:52.280 She's wonderful.

00:04:53.040 She's like one of my favorite people.

00:04:54.280 And I think that she is living her life authentically.

00:04:56.880 And she was posting one of her outrageous tweets that she typically does. 1.00

00:05:00.600 It might have been around, like, an orgy party or something like that.

00:05:03.740 And I think it was Michelle Chen.

00:05:06.440 Is that the right name?

00:05:07.560 Melissa Chen.

00:05:08.100 Melissa Chen.

00:05:08.740 She tweeted.

00:05:09.340 She's like, this is a lot of words to say my father wasn't in my life.

00:05:12.520 And then everyone in the comment section actually came to Ayla's defense because she came from 0.72

00:05:16.900 a traditional background, super religious, conservative, traditional.

00:05:20.480 Dad was very present.

00:05:21.860 So maybe let's not just put your blind assumption on this because people do, there are, the fringes

00:05:27.860 do exist in authenticity, but it's about 5%, 5%, right?

00:05:31.580 So they've done studies and it's literally 5% of women that tend to have a sex drive very

00:05:36.160 similar to a man where they can have casual sex, not get attached emotionally, and it

00:05:41.380 really doesn't leave them feeling used. 0.97

00:05:43.080 Most women, when they have sex, they leave feeling used, dirty, discarded. 1.00

00:05:47.160 So the context of does a woman want casual sex, like the safety parameter has to be there 0.98

00:05:53.040 too.

00:05:53.400 So a lot of people will use this study incorrectly, the findings of this study, and they'll

00:05:58.240 say, well, we went to a college campus and we asked a bunch of men, would you have

00:06:02.580 casual sex with this girl that they don't know? 0.95

00:06:05.660 Almost all of them said, absolutely.

00:06:07.000 They did it to women and they're like, absolutely not.

00:06:09.180 They're like, see, women don't like casual sex. 1.00

00:06:11.180 They're like, hold on, hold on.

00:06:12.120 You're like missing a really important factor here.

00:06:13.860 Like there's a safety element.

00:06:15.060 So what they did is they found a really attractive man that the girl knew and trusted.

00:06:18.840 And they're like, would you have a one night stand with this guy?

00:06:21.580 Changed dramatically, flipped on its head.

00:06:23.280 Almost all the women said yes.

00:06:24.600 So you have to include the safety element when you're talking about women where like we're 0.94

00:06:27.860 smaller, we're weaker, we're more fragile.

00:06:29.520 So of course, most women who are doing cost-benefit analysis, you're not going to take some random 1.00

00:06:34.360 guy home from the bar, go to his place and have sex. 0.98

00:06:36.860 That's a terrible idea. 0.99

00:06:38.420 Now introduce or like swap out random guy at the bar for some guy that you've been friends

00:06:42.460 with for a long time, but you don't really see a long-term relationship.

00:06:45.600 Well, she might consider changing her tune on that.

00:06:48.700 Yeah, it's really interesting you say that.

00:06:50.820 Plus as well, there's also the societal element of it where a woman knows that she will be shamed 0.96

00:06:55.600 and people will say certain things about her name calling.

00:06:59.820 And let's be honest about it.

00:07:01.200 A lot of it ain't going to come from men.

00:07:02.800 A lot of it is going to come from women. 1.00

00:07:04.940 Oh, absolutely.

00:07:05.560 I think women are the harshest on other women. 1.00

00:07:07.600 And I think there is this thing that's going around in the evolutionary biology crew and

00:07:12.180 they're saying, well, that it's bringing up the expectations for all other women.

00:07:17.060 So now you have to play at that. 1.00

00:07:18.240 I kind of think that that's bullshit. 1.00

00:07:20.080 There's always been prostitutes. 1.00

00:07:21.760 There have always been sex workers. 0.99

00:07:23.020 There have always been women that are more available than others, right? 1.00

00:07:26.220 So that never cost the high esteemed ladies of the court to change what they were doing.

00:07:31.800 I think that we are sexual beings.

00:07:34.020 Everyone has a different amount that they require or that they need.

00:07:37.460 And again, it's not to fall into one pre-prescribed bucket that someone's telling you.

00:07:42.580 I think the whole shame concept is really dated.

00:07:45.440 You have to say, like, what is healthy sex to me?

00:07:47.980 And what do I want?

00:07:48.860 Is this even mine?

00:07:50.300 And I have so many people that ask me all the time, do you regret anything that you've

00:07:54.040 done?

00:07:54.320 Are you ashamed of anything?

00:07:55.800 Or is there any lingering shame?

00:07:57.300 I was like, none that's mine.

00:07:58.840 People want to give me theirs all of the time.

00:08:00.940 And it's this fallacy of I couldn't see myself doing it.

00:08:04.060 Therefore, no one should be doing it.

00:08:05.980 Well, I'm not you and you're not me.

00:08:07.460 So you can't tell me that my decisions are incorrect because you can't put yourself or

00:08:11.000 like superimpose yourself into my position.

00:08:12.920 And I see this time and time again with the body count discussion, where I see lots of

00:08:17.500 people on the right going, oh, you know, women can't commit because their body count 1.00

00:08:22.020 is too high.

00:08:22.820 Therefore, they can't.

00:08:24.020 And a lot of these people are all about all facts and logic and stats.

00:08:27.760 And I'm going, where are you getting this from?

00:08:29.800 Yeah.

00:08:30.520 Well, so the average woman, it's five people. 1.00

00:08:33.380 So all these men that are in the red pill community that are up in arms saying all of 1.00

00:08:37.500 these women are now e-girls and they're all whores. 1.00

00:08:39.600 And everyone's got this body count. 0.99

00:08:41.240 You need to ask this on the date.

00:08:42.860 The average number is five.

00:08:44.340 So everyone needs to calm down.

00:08:45.900 Like most people, that is where they're scoring.

00:08:48.900 Also, it's what is what are you trying to gain from that question?

00:08:52.020 What is it really telling you?

00:08:53.280 I don't think it's a whole lot.

00:08:54.720 I mean, again, there are extremes.

00:08:56.300 There's this girl that's going super viral because she's trying to sleep with a thousand 1.00

00:08:59.420 guys, I think, in a day.

00:09:01.100 That's not normal.

00:09:02.100 And she knows that.

00:09:03.140 And she's capitalizing on it because it's not normal.

00:09:05.480 She's a high performer. 0.97

00:09:06.060 She is.

00:09:06.620 Yes.

00:09:07.420 Yes.

00:09:08.000 She is.

00:09:08.280 But you see that and then people are like, that's all women. 1.00

00:09:12.280 No, the reason that she's doing that for and she's gaining so much attention because it 0.96

00:09:15.800 is such an abnormality.

00:09:17.200 So that question to me is really crazy.

00:09:19.880 I don't think that you should bring it to a first date.

00:09:21.740 I think that says that that person is really sexually immature if they're asking that or

00:09:25.120 they're probably really jealous.

00:09:26.520 You can ask, what are your values?

00:09:27.740 What are your principles?

00:09:28.380 What are your goals for the future?

00:09:29.560 Those seem to make a lot more sense.

00:09:31.160 If you have questions around sexuality, it's like, what do you like?

00:09:34.120 What do you not like?

00:09:35.320 Like you can talk about those kinds of experiences.

00:09:36.920 Not a first date conversation.

00:09:37.560 No, not a first date.

00:09:38.680 No, no, no, no, no.

00:09:39.440 But like later on, if you're interested in that person's sexual experience, then do that.

00:09:43.800 But if it's like, how many?

00:09:45.180 It's like, does that?

00:09:45.800 I don't understand what that's really providing you at depth.

00:09:48.200 Here's the thing that never gets said about this, Candice, that since we're friends,

00:09:51.800 we might be able to discuss kind of amicably and in a friendly way, which is a man's concern

00:09:58.820 about his potential partner's number of sex encounters is based on essentially an attempt

00:10:07.340 to assess how faithful she is likely to be in the course of their relationship.

00:10:13.700 And the reason this matters evolutionarily is that paternal certainty is the thing that

00:10:19.420 really matters to a guy.

00:10:20.300 Like the worst thing from an evolutionary perspective, you know, all this for a guy is that you're

00:10:25.540 raising someone else's kids because from a genetic point of view, you know, we know

00:10:29.240 that it's the genes trying to replicate themselves.

00:10:31.400 Well, if I'm investing all my resources into replicating someone else's genes, that's kind

00:10:36.740 of a bad deal for a guy.

00:10:37.860 Right.

00:10:38.040 So men are going to want to assess how likely their potential partner is to cheat, right?

00:10:46.620 Now, I'm not saying that sleeping with many people in the course of consensual blah, blah,

00:10:51.220 blah is an indicator of faithfulness, but that's probably where it stems from.

00:10:55.180 Do you agree?

00:10:55.980 That would make a lot of sense.

00:10:57.400 But to kind of emphasize your point, I don't think that there's any correlation to being

00:11:01.400 faithful and part and how many partners you have.

00:11:04.140 Do you think there's no correlation at all?

00:11:05.500 I don't think so, because if you look at marriages specifically, men and women tend to cheat equally.

00:11:12.060 And then it's about 30 percent of marriages, I think, after five years, someone is cheating.

00:11:17.020 So if you go back to the statistic that most people have only slept with an average of five

00:11:20.840 people, that's not a lot.

00:11:22.060 I don't think by anyone's standard, especially if you're getting married later on in life.

00:11:27.140 So if both people are at five and we're agreeing that that's not really a lot of people, then

00:11:31.420 it's not really telling you a lot about whether they're cheating or not.

00:11:34.040 And then also when it comes to how many partners a person has had, people tend to kind of find

00:11:39.800 each other where they're similar.

00:11:42.180 So if someone is more conservative and they tend to be more limiting with their sexual

00:11:47.380 encounters, they find someone that matches that.

00:11:49.660 And then promiscuous people tend to find promiscuous people.

00:11:52.240 So you'd kind of have your partner.

00:11:54.140 And then that tends to lead to a lot less judgment.

00:11:56.420 You know what I mean?

00:11:56.980 Because someone's like, well, I did that, too.

00:11:58.340 And that's fine.

00:11:59.480 I don't see a problem with that behavior.

00:12:01.580 So I think where the issue would be is if you have a discrepancy between how both of

00:12:04.760 you look at sexuality and that should be a conversation.

00:12:07.160 But no one has that.

00:12:08.100 There are so many married couples that I don't want to say it's an average of 70 percent of

00:12:13.360 married couples are not comfortable talking about their sexual desires, needs and fantasies 1.00

00:12:17.720 with their married spouse.

00:12:19.340 And then we know that being able to have that open communication about what your fantasies

00:12:24.400 are with your spouse leads to relationship satisfaction, which leads to health and longevity

00:12:29.180 and yada, yada, yada.

00:12:30.320 So we have to have the conversation of like, why is this shame still lingering, even in the

00:12:34.900 context of married people?

00:12:36.920 And why do you think that is?

00:12:38.220 Because, you know, again, looking at it from a societal point of view, this is what you

00:12:43.080 are saying, really, is where the needs of society.

00:12:47.540 I'm using my hand vertically for a purpose, right?

00:12:50.580 From above is kind of somewhat oppressive to the preferences of the individual.

00:12:57.060 That's kind of what that that's what society does. 1.00

00:13:00.120 That's how society works.

00:13:01.360 Right.

00:13:01.580 So historically, we've always we society has always not only wanted but needed to control

00:13:08.420 female sexuality. 0.98

00:13:09.240 And the more traditional the society, the more that like burkas are the perfect example of 1.00

00:13:14.240 this.

00:13:14.460 Right.

00:13:14.600 So, as I said, from your conversation was with you and with Ayla, I see that some people

00:13:21.960 are wired differently.

00:13:23.520 But what but I do wonder when you start saying, well, everyone's different and whatever.

00:13:27.940 It's almost like we do need some kind of standard because otherwise, I think, like you said, young 0.83

00:13:35.120 women in particular get misled into thinking, oh, just go and have as much sex as you want. 1.00

00:13:39.640 And there's no consequences.

00:13:40.960 So how do we strike that balance?

00:13:43.420 I think you have to check in with yourself.

00:13:45.040 I think we have been we have become so detached from our own inner knowing.

00:13:49.320 Like we all have intuition.

00:13:50.460 We all know when like we shouldn't go down that alley or that's maybe a dodgy person,

00:13:55.180 whatever it might be.

00:13:55.920 But we're so disconnected from that that we don't listen to that intuition.

00:13:59.400 If you are the type of person that if you are engaging with someone, even if it's not

00:14:03.100 sexually, it's just you're starting that romantic endeavor and you feel like needy.

00:14:08.260 I don't like that word a ton, but you feel needy and you have these unmet needs and you're

00:14:12.140 reaching out all the time and you feel that connection.

00:14:14.800 Well, maybe casual sex is probably not a good idea for you.

00:14:17.420 And then if you're the type of person that you can do that and it really doesn't bother

00:14:20.840 or ruin your day, we'll then explore that.

00:14:23.060 But I do think you have to get down to first principles of sex, pleasure, sensuality.

00:14:28.320 What is all of that?

00:14:29.680 Right.

00:14:29.840 It's life force.

00:14:30.640 And you have authors like Napoleon Hill and David Data that talk about sexual transmutation.

00:14:37.100 So I think it's when you talk about oppression coming from the top, I think it's really intentional.

00:14:41.680 And I don't think it was only directed towards women.

00:14:44.040 I think that we wanted to disconnect people from realizing their agency, their autonomy,

00:14:48.680 their own inner power.

00:14:49.540 Because if I can connect to God, if I can connect to source and like find my own abundance internally

00:14:54.640 and with my own tribe, I don't need the church.

00:14:56.900 I don't need the government.

00:14:57.920 So it does make a more like a more.

00:15:02.800 What's the word I'm looking for?

00:15:04.760 Like obedient society in a sense.

00:15:07.820 And women traditionally have been the gatekeepers of sexuality. 1.00

00:15:10.940 You had the old high priestesses, the mystics, the healers, and they did use sex for a lot 0.93

00:15:15.720 of those things.

00:15:16.660 The church didn't like that.

00:15:17.740 So there's a whole bunch of reasons that we've kind of gone after the witch or gone 0.96

00:15:20.420 after the sexual woman. 0.98

00:15:22.040 So again, I think it's going back to like, what does this mean to me going down to first

00:15:26.300 principles?

00:15:26.820 And do I want to treat it like it's something sacred and something that I should only be

00:15:30.820 sharing with people intentionally?

00:15:32.320 Do I not look at it that way?

00:15:33.960 I think that it is.

00:15:34.940 I think that if you are going to be sharing that space with someone, that person needs

00:15:38.520 to deserve it, right?

00:15:39.860 Like they need to deserve that time and that moment with you.

00:15:43.580 And that can mean different things.

00:15:44.920 Like it doesn't mean a lifetime with that person, but it does mean that you should check out

00:15:49.040 some of that man's characteristics.

00:15:50.600 And like, again, is he a safe person to do that act with?

00:15:55.140 It's interesting you say that because, forgive me, you're an adult, a former adult actress.

00:16:00.140 So how do those two things connect?

00:16:05.660 Well, when I got in, my view is not the same.

00:16:08.560 Like that has evolved.

00:16:10.160 So I was under the guise that it meant nothing at all.

00:16:14.920 And I think I was so numb to a point that I was able to do it and like not have any feelings.

00:16:20.740 And it was fine.

00:16:22.180 Like I left without any trauma or any wounds.

00:16:24.660 And I was like this.

00:16:25.460 So, you know, I don't look back with any negative light.

00:16:28.960 But the way that I approached sex then was very different than I would now.

00:16:32.900 And I know that it's going to sound crazy to most people, but it is different.

00:16:37.260 And you would only know if you've been able to experience both.

00:16:40.120 When you have sex and it's for a performative piece, it's for entertainment, it's very different 0.74

00:16:45.420 than having sex with someone because you want to connect with them, whether that is for a moment or for a lifetime.

00:16:50.700 So imagine that you're being intimate with someone and there's 20 guys in the room,

00:16:54.520 some guy's eating chips, another guy's wiping off the counters.

00:16:57.240 It's a very different experience.

00:16:58.680 It's very sterile.

00:17:00.260 So maybe that was also part of it, too, and why it was easy to disconnect, because it's certainly not intimate.

00:17:05.880 You know, we're talking about performing for camera.

00:17:08.660 And one of the things that I found particularly worrying is the OnlyFans phenomenon.

00:17:12.580 And I think it's, look, for a small number of people, it's absolutely fine to do OnlyFans.

00:17:17.760 But it just seems that more and more young women are going down this path in order to make money and monetize. 1.00

00:17:24.660 And my concern is, look, that may work for the short term.

00:17:28.120 Long term, if you want to go and become a surgeon, if you want to, look, even be a mom,

00:17:32.960 and then these images get repeated, this is a reputation destroyer, isn't it?

00:17:38.360 Well, there's a lot with that one.

00:17:39.740 So, first, I have been a very big proponent of raising the age for adult content to 25.

00:17:44.760 I think that the fact we allowed 18 is insane.

00:17:47.720 I don't think that that's responsible at all.

00:17:49.560 I got in when I was 21, and that was still probably a little bit too young.

00:17:53.900 You mean for, sorry, to interrupt, for participation or for viewing?

00:17:57.680 Participation.

00:17:58.260 Participation.

00:17:58.780 Yeah.

00:17:59.060 Why?

00:17:59.480 Can we just start with why, and then we'll go on to the other stuff.

00:18:01.500 I don't think that you can understand second, third, fourth order of consequences of making that decision.

00:18:05.880 It is impossible.

00:18:07.040 Even now, as a 35-year-old woman, I still get things that come at me.

00:18:10.720 I was like, didn't see that coming from this thing.

00:18:12.960 So, if you have a decision that is that immense, it's going to affect every part of your life that you touch, like your family members.

00:18:19.800 If you have kids, where you work, your future, it's something that you can't wash away, no matter what you do, unless you become a billionaire and just, like, swipe the internet clean.

00:18:28.600 So, you don't understand that decision.

00:18:30.340 You also don't understand what your value is, what the value of money is.

00:18:34.140 So, you might see 300 bucks, and you're like, score, this is better than working at my nine-to-five.

00:18:39.960 Well, temporarily, right?

00:18:41.540 And it's also extremely hard to see the numbers that you're seeing.

00:18:45.080 So, it's almost intentionally misleading for a lot of young women.

00:18:48.580 So, you'll see, like, the Corinnas, and she's like, I made $65 million over the last three years.

00:18:53.660 That is an anomaly.

00:18:54.800 There are 500 creators in the world out of 5 million that are pulling seven figures a year.

00:19:00.460 That's it.

00:19:01.060 And I know about 15 of them.

00:19:02.900 So, the chances of you doing that are almost impossible.

00:19:06.880 You're better off playing, like, the Powerball.

00:19:08.760 So, if you're doing it for money or for fame, there are a million other ways that you can do that that cause way less stress to you and your future.

00:19:16.060 So, I agree.

00:19:17.040 I wish it wasn't as accessible.

00:19:18.340 I think that back when movies were, like, the primary source of adult entertainment, that made more sense because, like, the gatekeepers were so immense.

00:19:27.100 Not anyone could just do it.

00:19:28.400 So, you deal with that.

00:19:29.680 You deal with suitcase pimps, which they put on ads online, and then you have girls that are showing up to really dodgy apartments or basements, and they're shooting this thing. 1.00

00:19:38.340 So, yeah, it can be super unsafe.

00:19:40.640 I wish that it was 25.

00:19:41.900 I don't see that passing because there's way too much money in it.

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00:21:05.960 And what we now see is younger and younger women taking part, but also more and more women taking part.

00:21:17.180 That is a real problem, isn't it?

00:21:19.680 And that's going to have repercussions way down the line for society, not just the women involved. 0.95

00:21:24.700 So everything comes with a cost, right?

00:21:27.620 So you have to decide if that juice is worth the squeeze or if that cost is worth that action.

00:21:32.940 When it comes to making adult content, I'm not anti-adult content.

00:21:36.860 I just wish more people were doing it in alignment.

00:21:39.060 And that is going to sound crazy to some people, but you can do something that is art or self-expression, and you can do something that's for a paycheck.

00:21:47.900 And I've done both.

00:21:48.900 If you Google me, there's stuff that I will die on the hill that it was art, and then there's other stuff.

00:21:52.920 I was like, no, absolutely not.

00:21:54.660 It's like it's obvious that that was just like a quick whatever.

00:21:58.800 If you have someone that is doing it as an authentic expression of themselves and it brings them fulfillment, it's nothing about money.

00:22:05.200 It's nothing about followers.

00:22:06.660 I don't see a problem with that.

00:22:08.140 And then what other people judge or do is not my business, and that's kind of how I would look at it, right?

00:22:12.880 It's become undeniable in some kind of way.

00:22:15.220 Use that money wisely, and then how do you want to evolve past that?

00:22:19.040 Or maybe you don't.

00:22:19.840 Maybe that is like where you see yourself.

00:22:21.340 I know some women that they're going to do it until they're 80 years old. 1.00

00:22:24.360 That is what they want to do.

00:22:26.540 But if you do have the young woman that's doing it because she's in a hard spot or she, again, wants to get like a quick on-ramp to fame or money, I would say this is not the way to do it because, again, the cost is so high. 0.84

00:22:39.400 Additionally, I think we have to have a bigger conversation of why we are casting these women that make this decision out of society. 1.00

00:22:45.980 And somehow we're saying because they were sexual, they can no longer participate in civilized discussions, businesses, and industries.

00:22:53.740 Because just because you're sexual doesn't mean you have a low IQ or you're incapable of working like a da Vinci surgery machine.

00:22:59.760 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:23:00.560 And it's also as well, there's a fundamental hypocrisy there of men shaming these women, going, look what a whore she was back then. 1.00

00:23:07.400 It's like, dude, you watch porn and you've watched her content. 1.00

00:23:10.620 So you're just as guilty as her.

00:23:13.140 Well, here's the funny thing is no one watches porn and it is really terrible for society and all men.

00:23:18.220 But somehow Pornhub has 150 million unique viewers a day.

00:23:21.760 So I don't know where they're getting those numbers because no one's watching it.

00:23:24.560 Yeah.

00:23:25.520 You know, it's such a profound point because there's something that we need to talk about here is if you look at the suicide rates of a lot of the girls who take part in this, it's horrific.

00:23:36.820 There's something else going on here.

00:23:39.220 Or maybe there isn't.

00:23:40.220 What do you think about this?

00:23:41.780 So I think a lot of people that especially are on the conservative side of everything tend to link that to porn.

00:23:46.680 And they're like, obviously, this industry is toxic and these women can't handle it. 1.00

00:23:49.640 And there's a lot of trauma.

00:23:50.400 And that's why that's happening.

00:23:51.900 Sure.

00:23:52.200 I'm sure that exists for some of the cases.

00:23:54.120 But what I see as well, and I don't know how you would delineate which one is which, is that it is impossible to go back into society.

00:24:01.560 If I wanted to go be a teacher, absolutely not.

00:24:03.700 If I want to be a doctor, I'd probably get laughed out of whatever school I was in.

00:24:07.100 Anything that I tried to do that wasn't me being self-made is just not going to work.

00:24:11.100 So if you have that and you have all of this judgment and we don't have any room for grace, redemption, or transmutation, then what are we doing?

00:24:18.820 What is that saying about us as a society as whole?

00:24:21.380 Is our shame so innate and so powerful that anyone that tries to escape whatever that conditioning is, we have to reel them back in?

00:24:29.500 Because then that forces us to, like, challenge ourselves and look at ourselves and say, do I really want this or not?

00:24:34.980 Because your existence is a threat to everything that I've been told is right and good.

00:24:38.560 Well, this is what I was going to ask you.

00:24:40.780 Why do you think that is?

00:24:42.500 Because whether, like, I think your former career was the right thing or the wrong thing, I don't see how it would be disqualifying to another career now.

00:24:56.020 I just, I don't see it.

00:24:58.360 I can see why people might argue about a teacher because you're around kids.

00:25:02.000 They're going to Google you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right?

00:25:04.600 But with most other things, I just don't see why there would be that reluctance.

00:25:11.420 Like, again, whether I thought porn was right or wrong, I wouldn't, if someone applied for a job as, like, a producer on our show,

00:25:19.400 I wouldn't be like, oh, that person did porn, therefore, no.

00:25:22.240 Like, I don't see it that way.

00:25:23.820 So why do we as a society seem to think about it in that way?

00:25:27.160 Again, I think it goes back to our own shame that a lot of people are holding on to.

00:25:30.820 And there's still so much hypocrisy.

00:25:32.760 It was during the pandemic, there was this woman, and she was, like, a paramedic or an EMT.

00:25:38.120 And it was found out that she started an OnlyFans.

00:25:40.920 She was a single mom.

00:25:41.940 She was doing it because her shifts got cut in half. 0.99

00:25:45.080 I think it was during lockdown, and she needed to make money to literally keep the lights on. 0.99

00:25:49.880 So one of her co-workers found her OnlyFans account, tells her boss she gets fired, but he doesn't.

00:25:56.840 So he's obviously on the site as a consumer, and there's no repercussions for that.

00:26:02.000 But because she was the one that was making the content, she's now fired because that's not okay. 0.95

00:26:06.520 So if you're going to have rules, at least have it be the same for both parties, right?

00:26:10.340 It's either you are making some claim for your company and you stand against this, whatever.

00:26:15.880 Okay, well, then that also applies to the consumer, not just the woman.

00:26:19.400 And you use words like shame and guilt and all of this stuff a lot.

00:26:24.320 Where does that come from?

00:26:26.300 So I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but Europe tends to have a much more open relationship when it comes to sexuality.

00:26:33.080 Like there are PSAs that I've seen in Germany where there's two naked people, and they knock on the door with a laptop, and this mom opens it. 0.92

00:26:41.440 And they ask, do you know where your kid is?

00:26:43.500 And she's horrified, and they go like this.

00:26:45.360 He's upstairs, and then they teach her about internet safety.

00:26:48.020 So they're approaching it from a really responsible and pragmatic way, right?

00:26:52.260 These kids and their safety online are your responsibility as the parent, not ours as the performers.

00:26:56.740 They shouldn't be watching us.

00:26:57.660 Here, it's let's ban everything, which is so funny, especially in Texas, because we're supposed to talk about freedom, but only for freedoms that we agree with on certain topics.

00:27:07.360 But when the United States was settled, we had King James that had like the Puritans, and they were insufferable. 1.00

00:27:13.500 He's like, I've got to get these people out of here. 0.99

00:27:15.520 Even the Christians were like, these people are nuts. 1.00

00:27:18.300 And the Puritans were calling all these other Christians the others because they thought they were so much better. 0.92

00:27:22.800 So they shove all these Puritans on a boat, take them over to the United States, and then they're like some of our founding fathers, and they developed our first cities and our first towns. 0.99

00:27:32.620 So that is still here.

00:27:34.200 And we're relatively new, right?

00:27:35.640 Like 300 and some years old as a nation.

00:27:37.540 So that does leave a certain frequency and expectation on a people.

00:27:41.700 But I think the shame exists not just in the United States and not just in countries with a Puritan mindset. 0.55

00:27:50.500 I think it's probably quite universal around the world.

00:27:53.600 And I think it's got to be something about what Frances mentioned earlier, which is the existence of women who are available, in whatever shape or form that is, is a threat to the wives or whoever. 0.98

00:28:09.620 And as you talked about, it's also a, it's kind of like you're devaluing the currency, right?

00:28:16.180 When there's more sex, more of something is available, the price goes down, right?

00:28:20.580 Do you think that's also what's driving this?

00:28:23.640 That's driving what?

00:28:24.860 That's driving the shame and the guilt that exists, because it's a way to basically make sure that the value of sex is high.

00:28:33.060 So you can exchange it for marriage, safety, money, whatever, in that way.

00:28:37.660 Well, yeah, it's absolutely being weaponized for sure.

00:28:39.900 But if you look at, you know, one of our closest primate relatives, the bonobo, like those females use sex all the time to get what they want. 1.00

00:28:46.520 So they'll pretend that they're an estrus and get a guy to help make them a nest or to bring them meat or whatever it is, because they have that need.

00:28:54.580 And they're like, oh, just kidding.

00:28:55.480 I can't get pregnant. 0.96

00:28:56.240 So that's always existed.

00:28:58.280 And women's sexuality, I think, before like Christianity kind of swept through the world, it was treated a little bit different.

00:29:05.740 Like, yes, it was sacred.

00:29:06.680 Yes, it was important.

00:29:07.500 But it wasn't necessarily within marriage.

00:29:09.360 Marriage itself is relatively new.

00:29:10.920 And even once that became institutionalized, the average marriage was 10 years before someone died.

00:29:16.680 So this whole concept of monogamy, Esther Perel has a really good bit on it.

00:29:21.260 She's like, it doesn't exist anymore.

00:29:22.580 So monogamy was one person for the rest of my life.

00:29:25.680 And now it's one person at a time.

00:29:27.520 And then it's also one person at a time.

00:29:29.740 There's also Jill and Sally on the side.

00:29:32.200 So this version of monogamy has been kind of ever changing.

00:29:35.760 So you look at these divorce rates and you can say that these promiscuous women are the cause of it. 1.00

00:29:42.100 Well, no, like the whole idea of marriage is relatively new.

00:29:44.680 And I think we're just trying to navigate it.

00:29:46.380 And I think the biggest problem with a lot of marriages and why they're failing is no one is looking at it and saying, what are my needs?

00:29:52.000 We're trying to just take this blank, like this blank canvas and say this applies to everybody.

00:29:57.480 And it's like, no, like I have different needs.

00:29:59.260 What do you expect?

00:30:00.000 What is infidelity to you?

00:30:01.080 Because that's different across the board.

00:30:02.980 Some people, it's watching pornography is considered cheating.

00:30:06.060 Some people, if you go to a Hooters, that's cheating.

00:30:08.320 So you have to have these conversations of expectations for the relationship.

00:30:11.640 What are your needs?

00:30:12.720 How are you showing up in this?

00:30:14.020 And then, yeah, so I don't, I think blaming porn and promiscuity is, it's kind of like lazy thinking in a way.

00:30:21.000 And that when you have a certain group of people that are constantly blaming the same boogeyman, we can't take this seriously.

00:30:28.020 I think most of our problems are super layered and complex.

00:30:30.860 And that's not to say that porn is not a problem.

00:30:33.240 I think the accessibility is a problem, right?

00:30:35.080 There should be paywalls.

00:30:36.220 Again, the age is a problem.

00:30:38.000 But I don't think that the answer is creating these bans that we see.

00:30:41.300 And I think it's eight states now that are putting up this paywall.

00:30:44.920 And it's, in my opinion, it's actually creating more dangerous behavior online and doing so.

00:30:50.100 So tell us more about that when you say, so in Texas, it's illegal?

00:30:53.260 It's not illegal, but if you try to access a site, it'll say, like Pornhub, for example, they pulled out because they're suing the state.

00:31:00.680 So they made the choice, but they list the legislation and it would require you to upload a government issued ID.

00:31:08.260 And in some states, it's also a facial scan before you access.

00:31:11.620 So you have to verify your identity.

00:31:13.980 Right.

00:31:14.200 But then who's holding that?

00:31:15.680 There have already been data breaches.

00:31:17.660 And then the other issue is that these main companies that everyone kind of wants to target have the most above board content.

00:31:23.860 Like they have the most legal content and they're listening.

00:31:27.600 So you force these kids to then go to these dodgy honeypot sites that are not following the same rules.

00:31:33.860 And you don't know how ethical that content is.

00:31:36.300 And that's actually where you don't want them.

00:31:38.280 And then additionally, it's over 80 percent of littles that like minors that come across adult content for the first time.

00:31:45.560 It's not even on a porn site.

00:31:46.860 So it's on Facebook.

00:31:48.180 It's on Instagram.

00:31:48.780 It's on TikTok.

00:31:49.480 It's on Telegram.

00:31:50.440 So you do this thing under the guise of safety and protecting kids.

00:31:53.800 Now you have parents that are like, oh, I don't need to worry because the state just put the filter on.

00:31:57.980 Well, no, you actually do need to worry because that's not where they're going to find it anyways.

00:32:00.880 It's such a good point because I remember when I was a primary school teacher and the kids had sex ed lessons.

00:32:08.420 And for people watching this, what that actually meant was it taught kids how to be safe.

00:32:13.700 It said to them, look, if somebody tries to touch you here, this is bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:32:20.200 This is how you protect yourself.

00:32:21.960 And I remember one parent saying to me like, oh, that isn't going to happen.

00:32:26.080 That's not a problem.

00:32:27.360 I shield my parents.

00:32:28.520 I shield my kids from everything.

00:32:29.740 And I was like, well, OK, but your kid's got the latest iPhone.

00:32:33.640 What do you think they're watching on it?

00:32:35.580 And you just saw the light come on in their eyes.

00:32:38.040 So I think the problem is, is that people don't realize they they hand everything over, for instance, to the state and go, oh, the state will keep me safe without realizing that kids are smart.

00:32:48.440 They're far more technologically adept than them.

00:32:50.580 And they're going to be able to get around these paywalls, for example.

00:32:53.600 Oh, and they're using VPNs, too.

00:32:55.200 So it's super easy for them to get wherever they want.

00:32:57.640 I think it is mind blowing and reckless parenting when you see parents that are giving an iPhone unrestricted to their child.

00:33:05.640 And what are you are that lazy of a parent?

00:33:07.620 Like you cannot play or entertain or engage with your kid to the extent that you have to give them a phone.

00:33:12.200 That's crazy.

00:33:13.480 That's bonkers to me.

00:33:14.540 I think at some point, yes, they need to have access and they need to learn safe protocols, self-control, delayed gratification.

00:33:20.880 How do I feel when I watch this amount of screen time?

00:33:23.320 But that's later.

00:33:24.180 Like you don't give a tool to someone who's not ready or mature enough to handle it.

00:33:28.300 And an eight-year-old, absolutely not.

00:33:29.860 Ten-year-old, absolutely not.

00:33:31.920 Do you think part of the problem as well with the way that we're having this conversation, and I see the way that men behave online.

00:33:38.080 And it kind of makes me think there are very few people that can make a man feel inadequate than a woman.

00:33:44.740 So if a woman rejects a man, it's hard. 0.98

00:33:49.320 It's hard for men to deal with.

00:33:51.140 And men then start to question themselves.

00:33:53.720 So women have this power, and a lot of men are uncomfortable with it. 0.78

00:33:57.540 And it makes them angry because they realize that they are not in control.

00:34:02.180 Well, no one has control.

00:34:03.760 That's all an illusion anyways. 0.98

00:34:05.360 But, yeah, I think rejection's got to suck. 0.79

00:34:08.100 I don't know how you guys do it.

00:34:09.920 I applaud you because if I were in charge of dating, I would die alone.

00:34:15.900 I would be way too terrified to approach anyone out of fear of rejection.

00:34:18.760 It just wouldn't happen.

00:34:19.940 So I think it's very brave to be a man and be in the dating pool.

00:34:23.860 Yes, I think there are a small group of men that see women that don't need a man, right? 0.86

00:34:29.060 Because now they can provide for themselves in every realistic way.

00:34:33.620 But those men have always existed.

00:34:35.460 So I think we're giving them way too much power, and we're listening to their voice a little bit too much.

00:34:41.080 I think that there's a problem.

00:34:42.480 I mean, I've seen some girls that are like, I'm going to milk everyone dry. 1.00

00:34:45.320 That's kind of a gross attitude to have.

00:34:47.600 I try to be really conscientious about how I do content.

00:34:50.360 I'm not online all the time.

00:34:51.700 If I see unhealthy behavior, I stop it really quickly.

00:34:54.540 And even just from a safety standpoint, I think that that's necessary.

00:34:57.260 But we talk about these girls and how easy it is to make this money. 0.99

00:35:00.860 A, it's not, because again, only 500 people in the world are making serious money off of this.

00:35:05.660 But then you have to look at the bigger infrastructure, because if you look at all of the industries, they're still ran by men. 0.86

00:35:10.600 So what these women, even the one that's like $65 million over three years, that's laughable to the guy that actually owns OnlyFans. 0.99

00:35:17.540 So no, women are not taking over, and they're not trying to eradicate men, I think, at scale. 0.93

00:35:22.800 I think it's just a bunch of what you would call incels that have always existed, but now they don't have wars to go fight or villages to go raid.

00:35:30.280 They just have the internet.

00:35:31.660 And also as well, I've just been looking at the way that women and men have been interacting in real life.

00:35:37.700 It seems, and maybe this is anecdotal evidence, but women are complaining that men don't approach anymore, that it's becoming harder and harder to date.

00:35:47.340 You know, people are becoming ever more increasingly lonely.

00:35:50.060 Surely that's an effect of porn.

00:35:52.200 Porn must have a massive impact on that, because if you're a young dude, why are you going to take the risk?

00:35:57.720 Why are you going to risk being rejected?

00:35:59.560 Why are you going to risk potentially, you know, being humiliated?

00:36:03.500 Why are you going to risk any of that when you can stay at home, watch porn, get that out of the way, and then go about your day?

00:36:09.780 Well, no, so that also doesn't track, because the average man goes to a porn site two or three times a week, and he's on for four minutes.

00:36:17.260 Four to six minutes.

00:36:18.220 Those are the numbers.

00:36:19.360 Unimpressive, gentlemen.

00:36:20.780 Unimpressive.

00:36:21.520 Four minutes.

00:36:22.240 Is that all you're going to do?

00:36:23.000 Yeah.

00:36:24.000 But maybe they're busy.

00:36:24.980 So those are the stats.

00:36:26.060 Like, if you have a guy that's only going on two or three days a week, I don't think that that's sufficient enough for him to give up on dating, having a human connection.

00:36:32.360 And then also the neurochemistry that releases when you have an orgasm by yourself is entirely different versus when you're with someone else.

00:36:39.620 I think everyone who's had both experiences can attest to that.

00:36:42.880 So it's almost like comparing, like lighting a match to a firework.

00:36:46.200 So, yes, one thing is temporarily satisfying, but I don't think it's going to satiate this greater need that we have, which as human beings is to replicate, right?

00:36:54.360 It's to connect and replicate.

00:36:55.300 We're here to make more of ourselves.

00:36:57.240 So, yes, I do think that that might relieve some pressure, but I see that as a good thing because I know so many guys that have so much anxiety before they go on a date.

00:37:05.600 So they'll do that and they can show up calm and collective and see the woman for something other than a sexual being.

00:37:12.360 Like, am I interested in this woman? 0.99

00:37:14.100 Can I build a life with this woman? 1.00

00:37:15.420 Do I find her interesting?

00:37:16.420 Because I think when we over-sexualize people, that can kind of hide a lot of red flags and then you can dismiss a lot of really bad behavior because you're really attracted to them.

00:37:26.620 So if you can do this, get the edge off, you almost see the person more authentically.

00:37:31.020 I think you made a really good point a little bit earlier where you talked about the fact that we listen to certain people a bit too much. 0.99

00:37:36.920 And the way I think about it is, like, in every pub in England, there's always been, like, a Gary the Wanker in the corner, right, that would say stupid shit and everybody would know that's Gary the Wanker. 0.99

00:37:46.860 We ignore him and get on with their day. 0.99

00:37:49.300 And now you've got, like, 400,000 Gary the Wankers who've been assembled in one place, all talking to each other, reinforcing each other's beliefs.

00:37:57.400 And suddenly you're hearing all this stuff that just doesn't seem to me to make any sense.

00:38:03.860 The issue is there are people listening to this stuff, and it's changing how people think.

00:38:09.440 And that's scary to me.

00:38:11.240 It's really scary.

00:38:12.380 And I don't know what you really do about it other than try to offer this group of people some hope and something better.

00:38:18.820 I think that's why Jordan Peterson became the worldwide phenomenon that he is, is because he's trying to speak to these people.

00:38:24.960 It's hard, because if you feel hopeless, and you don't have connection, and you don't see a future, and then someone is pointing out one thing or one group of the population and saying they're the reason you don't have it, how dangerous and effective is that?

00:38:39.800 Like, we see it, and we've seen it throughout history.

00:38:42.080 So if you're always blaming the same thing or the same gender, like, maybe it's a you thing, because the whole thing is women are supposed to be picky, right? 0.69

00:38:51.280 And if they are bringing things out in you and they're showing you your insufficiencies or your deficits or they're challenging you to rise up, don't get mad.

00:38:59.440 That's like a call to action.

00:39:00.620 Like, what a beautiful gift that the feminine can give the masculine is showing you where you're not showing up, because what we see in you is all of this potential.

00:39:08.620 And maybe sometimes that harshness is the thing that some men need in order to, like, re-evaluate and say, no, she's right.

00:39:15.220 I need to be doing more with my life.

00:39:17.180 And I think it's simply a mindset change and a reframe.

00:39:20.240 So instead of saying, all these women are rejecting you, like, ask why.

00:39:23.020 Why is she rejecting you? 0.98

00:39:24.320 And then what can I do to be a better man that is worthy of love and affection from a woman?

00:39:28.980 I think that's a really great point.

00:39:30.300 And actually, that is historically how men have been encouraged to think about these things.

00:39:35.540 Like, you're supposed to be better and then everything else happens, right?

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00:40:45.860 Changing tacks slightly, one of the things we were just talking about the other night is

00:40:51.680 just how much power a beautiful woman has in the world. 1.00

00:40:56.160 And it's interesting because we do live in a world where it's like we've got this weird form of feminism 1.00

00:41:00.840 where women are like really powerful, but also the victim of everything. 1.00

00:41:04.780 What do you make of all of that?

00:41:06.200 Because I imagine you know that you have a lot of power over some men, at least, right? 0.92

00:41:13.000 I don't know because I don't fall into that victim trap.

00:41:15.620 I try very hard not to be there.

00:41:17.860 I don't understand the use of it.

00:41:20.280 I think it maybe goes to the damsel in distress archetype.

00:41:22.880 And some women find power in that and they feel that someone's going to swoop in 1.00

00:41:26.420 and try to help them and claim them in some kind of way.

00:41:30.080 So maybe it's a mating tactic.

00:41:31.580 I'm not really sure.

00:41:32.780 But there's that one quote where that beauty is a short tyranny or something like that.

00:41:37.880 And I would agree.

00:41:38.980 But we were talking about it a little bit earlier.

00:41:40.740 And yes, it can be used for you or against you.

00:41:44.160 So I'm going to choose used for me because no matter what, it's there.

00:41:47.200 So it's like if someone gave you this beautiful gift and this tool and you're like,

00:41:50.780 you have this for maybe like 40 years, 30, something like that.

00:41:55.220 Use it or don't.

00:41:56.360 Of course I'm going to use it.

00:41:57.420 It would be silly not to.

00:41:58.360 It was given to me by God.

00:42:00.180 Yeah, look, I completely agree.

00:42:01.820 Like, you know, I sometimes see comedians complaining because there's a good looking

00:42:05.680 comedian on stage.

00:42:06.740 They're like, oh, he's only, you know, he's only dressing like that because he looks like

00:42:10.740 that.

00:42:10.980 I'm like, dude, if you had the discipline, the hard work and the genetics to look like

00:42:14.840 that, you'd wear the tight t-shirt too.

00:42:16.980 Let's just be honest about it.

00:42:18.540 You've got to use what God gave you.

00:42:20.700 I think so.

00:42:21.240 And I've met some female comics that tried to dumb themselves down because they say that 1.00

00:42:25.000 they want their comedy to be the only thing people are looking at.

00:42:27.900 And yes, that's admirable, but no one else is playing by those rules.

00:42:31.360 And I'm not saying go out there in lingerie, like if you want to, go for it.

00:42:34.880 Go for it.

00:42:36.100 But it doesn't make sense to downplay who you are or what you look like because you

00:42:41.720 feel that that's going to take away from your skill.

00:42:43.540 I think you can have both.

00:42:44.540 I think you can be talented and beautiful.

00:42:46.420 And the people that say it's a cop out or say she's only there because of her looks

00:42:51.380 or he's only there for their looks, well, they're saying that because they're not

00:42:53.860 anywhere.

00:42:54.220 Do you think that's true that you can be, see, you can be beautiful and talented, but

00:42:59.600 I think what people are onto, and this is like a super controversial thing to say that

00:43:03.760 everybody knows it's true.

00:43:05.040 It's like with a guy, I think I may be wrong.

00:43:09.160 I may be corrected by the internet, but with a guy, it's like when a guy sees a beautiful

00:43:14.160 woman, it is very difficult, at least initially for him to see beyond that.

00:43:19.560 You see what I mean?

00:43:21.640 I'm one of the good guys, right?

00:43:23.920 Just so that you know, I just see the soul.

00:43:26.980 I think this is, yeah, yeah, sure you do.

00:43:28.700 This is one of the reasons I think it is probably extremely difficult for a female politician 1.00

00:43:37.140 to succeed, especially if she's attractive.

00:43:41.020 Because it's like, it's not that you can't respect someone who's attractive, you can,

00:43:46.140 but it's just kind of hard to get there, you know what I mean?

00:43:48.440 So do you think that there's...

00:43:51.880 I'm so getting, this is actually something I can get cancelled for, even though it's

00:43:55.560 absolutely true, having spoken to guys.

00:43:57.800 So do you think that there's a gradient though, so can you be a 7 or an 8 and it's faster to

00:44:02.180 move versus a 9 or a 10?

00:44:04.220 And then there's also the halo effect, so the halo effect applies to men and women, and

00:44:07.840 it's if you're perceived as generally good looking, that people are nicer, you make more

00:44:12.380 tips, you're more successful, your salaries...

00:44:14.100 You have more friends.

00:44:14.920 Right, your life is kind of better than other people's.

00:44:18.360 Yes, it's beauty privilege.

00:44:20.200 Right, so there's that too, so...

00:44:22.520 There is, right.

00:44:23.300 But it comes with trade-offs, right?

00:44:25.380 It's like there's positive...

00:44:27.400 So my father, for example, when he was in his early 30s, he became wealthy overnight,

00:44:34.720 basically, like in the space of a year.

00:44:35.940 And I remember him telling me how actually unpleasant he found that women would now look

00:44:41.940 at him completely differently, right?

00:44:44.200 Because it's kind of like, oh, so that's what they want from me, right?

00:44:47.880 And I imagine the same if you're an attractive woman. 0.99

00:44:50.520 Like, there's some massive benefits to it, but you also get some attention that you probably

00:44:54.760 don't want, right?

00:44:55.940 Right, for sure.

00:44:56.480 There's a ton of costs because the way that you go throughout the world, you have to kind

00:45:00.860 of be a little bit more guarded and shielded because most of the time it does have an effect

00:45:04.860 on a lot of men and a lot of people.

00:45:07.100 And then you have to ask, am I here because I earned this or am I here because he's trying

00:45:11.560 to sleep with me? 0.99

00:45:13.020 And a lot of times it's the latter and then that sucks. 0.59

00:45:16.340 And then as the woman, you're asking yourself, how do I navigate this?

00:45:19.720 Because I still want this job or this opportunity.

00:45:22.420 And now he just made it kind of awkward.

00:45:24.340 And you don't want to, again, dismiss him or turn him down because then you're not going

00:45:28.160 anywhere.

00:45:28.680 So it's this really delicate dance of how do you exist, use this superpower in a way

00:45:34.440 that is not also welcoming unwanted behavior.

00:45:37.540 It's very tricky.

00:45:38.640 I'm sure.

00:45:39.160 And by the way, with guys, I know, again, from speaking to guys about this, there's also

00:45:42.840 a thing where it's like a guy might not want to sleep with you, but it's going to sound

00:45:50.180 so terrible, but it's nicer to have an attractive woman around than some other mutant hairy guy.

00:45:56.220 Do you know what I mean? 0.68

00:45:56.800 No, for sure.

00:45:57.280 It's such a terrible thing in the modern world to say, but I think it's true. 1.00

00:46:02.740 No, it's absolutely true.

00:46:03.700 And David Data writes about this too.

00:46:05.240 So this goes into, he writes a lot about polarity and how the masculine and feminine work together.

00:46:11.400 And he specifically talks about the relationship of an attractive woman or one that is perceived

00:46:17.040 as attractive by a man in her proximity to him.

00:46:20.560 So what an aligned, mature masculine will do is instead of just like oogling this woman

00:46:27.280 and just seeing her as something to kind of like use as a whole, he takes that life force,

00:46:32.960 that creative energy, and he like sends it upwards in a way and uses it for creativity.

00:46:36.940 He uses it for drive and he uses it for appreciation.

00:46:39.880 So it's like almost like this gift that she's giving him and he's like, oh, thank you.

00:46:43.840 This is beautiful.

00:46:44.620 I'm going to use it somewhere else.

00:46:45.800 And that's such a good point because you can find a woman beautiful and be respectful

00:46:50.500 and have an enjoyable conversation or interaction.

00:46:54.520 You don't have to go to the other extreme, which you see some men doing, you know, because

00:46:59.220 let's be fair, flirting is fun. 0.94

00:47:01.660 And actually it makes the sometimes tedious humdrum of life that bit more enjoyable.

00:47:08.020 Oh, yeah, it's great.

00:47:08.940 It's like it's a love language.

00:47:10.700 I think flirting is absolutely a love language.

00:47:12.440 But I think that comes down to compulsion and just self-control, which a lot of people

00:47:16.780 are lacking.

00:47:17.500 So it's not being able to see the woman as this muse, essentially, which women have always 0.98

00:47:22.240 been to men, like the thing that inspires them.

00:47:25.540 So take it as a muse.

00:47:27.260 But they're like, no, I actually have to capture this and make it mine, which is more of an immature

00:47:31.380 way to look at a woman. 1.00

00:47:32.360 That's really interesting.

00:47:33.400 You know something?

00:47:34.020 I'm absolutely shocked that it hasn't gone super viral on the internet now that I have said

00:47:38.500 this, it will. 1.00

00:47:39.540 Because what I'm trying to say is men are really dumb. 0.99

00:47:42.440 There is a bit in our conversation with Ayla, when we ask her, how do you become, I don't 0.99

00:47:49.200 remember the exact question, but something like, how do you become seductive to a man

00:47:52.240 or whatever?

00:47:52.940 And it's really interesting because lots of people find Ayla attractive and great, personally,

00:47:58.880 not my type.

00:47:59.660 And I don't say this with any condescension whatsoever.

00:48:02.560 But both me and Frances, the moment she started demonstrating it, we were like, oh, hello.

00:48:07.320 Yeah.

00:48:07.920 Yeah.

00:48:08.240 The lizard part of my brain was, right, come on, boys, we're getting ready.

00:48:12.180 And I'm like, what the, no.

00:48:13.680 I've got to see it.

00:48:14.720 Yeah.

00:48:15.080 I've got to watch it.

00:48:15.860 And it was actually kind of humiliating the way she said it, because she was like, basically,

00:48:19.080 you have to like, use smaller words. 1.00

00:48:21.360 And it was really like, men are really fucking dumb. 1.00

00:48:24.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:24.480 Open the eyes.

00:48:25.460 You talk slower.

00:48:27.160 You go a little bit deeper.

00:48:28.660 You sink into, and we're just there going, tick, tick, tick.

00:48:31.640 Yeah.

00:48:31.900 It was just like, it's all working automatically.

00:48:33.860 Yeah.

00:48:34.040 So what I mean is, like, that's why I mentioned the power thing.

00:48:37.220 It just feels to me like the disempowering conversation that we've got to, I don't know, 0.98

00:48:44.040 it's really difficult to negotiate all of this because I just see a lot of bullshit being 0.98

00:48:48.540 like, people go, oh, you're objectifying women. 0.98

00:48:51.020 Well, when you dig down to the very bottom of it, what they mean is you find a woman

00:48:55.340 attractive, usually.

00:48:56.800 That's what they mean, right?

00:48:58.180 And it's like, that's what men's brains evolved for.

00:49:01.780 Like, we're not, there's no way to shut that down.

00:49:03.640 I haven't found one.

00:49:04.580 You know what I mean?

00:49:05.060 So when I hear objectification, I don't think finding someone attractive or checking them

00:49:10.120 out, like.

00:49:11.360 That's not what people mean.

00:49:12.320 That's not what I would interpret.

00:49:13.020 What do you mean when you say that?

00:49:14.540 When I think that, I think it's being dismissive of the whole person and only putting them in one

00:49:19.340 bucket.

00:49:19.720 So whether it's because they are online showing themselves or whether because they're just

00:49:24.200 an attractive person and then that's the attention that they're garnering, it's that

00:49:28.000 that's the only thing that they're allowed to be.

00:49:29.980 And then if they try to come out of that, they get, like, they lose respect or you treat

00:49:34.120 them differently or you, right?

00:49:35.500 It's like, it's not seeing the whole person.

00:49:37.340 So I think that you can find someone sexually appealing and again, you can check them out.

00:49:42.260 I don't think that there's anything wrong with that.

00:49:43.700 I would totally agree.

00:49:44.460 You're wired to do that.

00:49:45.660 It would take probably 20 years of Zen Buddhism for that not to be. 0.92

00:49:49.620 Nah, Zen Buddhism is still on the internet watching porn every Sunday. 0.98

00:49:52.980 They're still doing it.

00:49:54.160 I think it'd be really hard for you to get rid of that behavior entirely.

00:49:57.300 But to me, when you talk about that, it's more just dehumanizing the person.

00:50:00.980 But I don't understand what that means.

00:50:02.640 So let's say I see an attractive woman walking down the street and I go, oh, hello. 1.00

00:50:07.440 Right.

00:50:08.160 Have I objectified her there?

00:50:09.560 I don't think so.

00:50:09.960 But I haven't seen the person.

00:50:11.080 I just see her body, right?

00:50:12.400 No.

00:50:12.780 So I think it's more, like, predatorial than that.

00:50:16.740 Like, I think it's when someone maybe is expressing some kind of sexual violence in a way.

00:50:21.420 And that can be different things.

00:50:22.920 So some people would say catcalling is.

00:50:24.920 I'm on the fence about it because I think context is really important.

00:50:28.020 If it's the middle of the day and there's a bunch of people out, no, I'm not going to feel threatened.

00:50:31.640 If it's at night and it's only me and you and you're doing that, that is so inappropriate.

00:50:35.180 And that to me is kind of that's going into sexual violence territory.

00:50:40.120 So context is really important.

00:50:41.460 I think when it comes to objectification, I'm not expecting you to ask her name, her sign, her family history.

00:50:47.720 I don't think any of that's required.

00:50:48.820 But I think it would be anything that was more inappropriate or dehumanizing. 0.97

00:50:52.860 So if you're talking to someone at a restaurant or at a bar and like, I don't know, you're kind of being like you're just being a dick. 0.96

00:50:59.180 I don't know how to explain it. 0.95

00:51:00.280 And we all know that guy, you know what I mean?

00:51:02.680 Where he's just like, you are a thing to be used versus that woman's really beautiful or she's really hot or whatever that narrative is.

00:51:10.040 So you talk about something very interesting, which is all day foreplay.

00:51:13.800 Yes.

00:51:14.200 Talk to us about that.

00:51:15.120 So it goes back to the responsive desire versus spontaneous.

00:51:19.060 So I'm sure you guys can walk in the kitchen and you see your lady and you're like, yes, right?

00:51:23.980 It's like she's wearing sweatpants and you're just immediately ready to go.

00:51:27.000 What is it about sweatpants?

00:51:28.480 It's not sweatpants.

00:51:29.420 Well, Candace's point is, you see a woman. 1.00

00:51:32.340 No, but sweatpants, there's something about sweatpants.

00:51:34.820 I think it's vulnerability, like safety, comfort, right?

00:51:37.740 She doesn't leave that way.

00:51:39.020 So it's more of like a you intimate moment.

00:51:42.000 Yeah.

00:51:42.780 Look, I'm judging you, but I'm not judging you.

00:51:44.980 No, I'm not.

00:51:45.700 I think that that's a thing.

00:51:46.780 Yeah, definitely.

00:51:48.160 Definitely.

00:51:49.140 Wait, sweatpants are a thing?

00:51:50.800 Yeah, sweatpants.

00:51:51.880 Yeah, sweatpants are sexy.

00:51:52.940 And women love gray sweatpants. 1.00

00:51:55.500 Yes.

00:51:55.920 Yes.

00:51:56.340 Women love gray sweatpants on men. 1.00

00:51:58.220 Gray sweatpants.

00:51:59.180 It's like fall if you do that.

00:52:01.060 Yeah.

00:52:01.220 This is the beauty of trigonometry.

00:52:02.720 You get an education.

00:52:05.520 Right.

00:52:06.020 Anyway.

00:52:06.520 Anyway.

00:52:06.820 In the kitchen, she's wearing sweatpants.

00:52:08.320 So guys can be spontaneous, and they don't really need a lot of revving up, and they can

00:52:12.400 get where they want to be.

00:52:13.400 You guys also tend to have less sensitive breaks, so there's a lot less things that will

00:52:17.600 interrupt your flow.

00:52:19.060 Women, a lot of us, have very sensitive breaks, like the bird starts tripping. 1.00

00:52:23.920 Oh, you fucking dog. 1.00

00:52:24.520 The garbage can tips over. 1.00

00:52:25.760 It's a man's worst nightmare.

00:52:27.240 It's like a car drove past.

00:52:29.020 That's it.

00:52:29.420 It's over.

00:52:29.880 It's like, why?

00:52:30.480 What happened?

00:52:31.460 We were having such a nice time.

00:52:32.700 So you have to think about threat detection, right?

00:52:34.800 Yeah.

00:52:34.900 So we are constantly surveying everything.

00:52:37.200 We have a much wider focus, because we are more likely to get eaten.

00:52:40.780 We menstruate.

00:52:41.580 We attract bears.

00:52:42.860 It is just wired in us to constantly be doing these things.

00:52:45.700 You guys are hunters, so you have direct focus.

00:52:47.940 You guys can focus on one thing.

00:52:49.440 Maybe not you and I so much, but you can focus on one thing, and it's very hard to distract

00:52:54.080 you.

00:52:54.220 Wait, wait, wait.

00:52:54.620 That's not going to make sense to anyone.

00:52:57.220 Oh, we were talking about ADD.

00:52:58.940 Right, right, right.

00:52:59.540 Yeah.

00:53:00.560 Otherwise, that could be confusing in a very interesting way, and you don't want to.

00:53:03.760 No, we're talking about ADD.

00:53:04.820 Your brains both jump from place to place.

00:53:06.620 Yeah.

00:53:06.820 That's what Candace was saying.

00:53:08.120 Yes.

00:53:08.500 Thank you for clarifying.

00:53:10.840 Nowadays, you don't know, right?

00:53:12.080 Yeah.

00:53:12.240 But so women, in order to feel safe, it's all of these little touch points throughout the 1.00

00:53:16.380 day.

00:53:16.580 So what you think is her nagging, that sock on the floor, you not taking out the trash. 0.99

00:53:20.980 If you said you were going to go get milk and you didn't, well, these in the modern

00:53:24.200 era are versions of you not being reliable and not being a safe partner.

00:53:28.140 So if you're not doing this element of safety is out of the door, right?

00:53:31.240 Now you're creating a lot of stress for her. 1.00

00:53:32.720 It's going to be impossible for her to relax and be present with you, which is required for

00:53:36.940 her to have arousal.

00:53:38.620 It's the intimate touch.

00:53:39.960 She wants to know that you're connected and that you're invested throughout the day.

00:53:42.800 So it's little grazes, little kisses, little like eye gazes.

00:53:46.120 How many times can you walk by your partner and not even look at or acknowledge them,

00:53:50.280 right?

00:53:50.540 So it's if she talks, you respond, you know, just ignore her.

00:53:53.620 All of these little things now kind of equate safety and modern era.

00:53:57.660 So you want to make sure that you're spending like the two seconds it takes to just like,

00:54:01.900 yes, babe, I heard what you said.

00:54:03.080 Yes, I'm going to take out the trash.

00:54:04.180 Like do all of these things.

00:54:05.080 And you will be so grateful you did it because she will be relaxed and more receptive.

00:54:09.140 So when the kids are in bed or everything is done and you're winding down, like she's

00:54:13.200 in this place where she wants to engage with you. 0.58

00:54:15.820 And there's something that I want to talk about, which is because we're talking about that and

00:54:20.220 that's really interesting.

00:54:21.340 And then there's this, there's this thing called the friend zone and you can, there's

00:54:27.040 this, you get lots of content now about people, men being too nice in particular.

00:54:31.860 What does that actually mean?

00:54:33.480 I just think it's attraction.

00:54:35.400 I think that's a secret sauce that no one knows.

00:54:37.920 Like, why do you fall in love with the people that you do?

00:54:39.980 Why are you attracted to the person that you are?

00:54:42.120 I don't think anyone has figured that out.

00:54:43.980 So women get the ick very easily. 1.00

00:54:47.060 Yeah.

00:54:47.340 So I don't know if you've heard of that.

00:54:48.380 I don't think anyone's ever come back from the ick.

00:54:50.600 So once that happens, it's over.

00:54:52.560 So how do you, how do you give a woman the ick? 1.00

00:54:55.240 What's the easiest one?

00:54:56.820 It's anything.

00:54:57.420 Oh man.

00:54:58.940 It can be anything.

00:55:00.180 I'm so sorry.

00:55:00.940 Can you see why it's easier to be gay? 0.94

00:55:03.660 Yeah, absolutely. 0.51

00:55:05.020 Yes.

00:55:05.600 Yes.

00:55:05.740 I do.

00:55:06.520 And they're called gay because they're happy.

00:55:08.700 Exactly. 1.00

00:55:09.340 No, they deal with a lot less bullshit. 0.99

00:55:10.800 So it's anything. 0.99

00:55:12.020 It could be the way that your fingernails are clipped.

00:55:14.660 It could be the way that you pick up your tea.

00:55:16.940 It could be the way that you bend down to pick up something.

00:55:20.120 Everyone is different.

00:55:21.140 Candice, you know I'm going to say something that's going to sound unfair, but that's not right.

00:55:25.960 No, it's not fair.

00:55:27.240 It's not fair.

00:55:27.840 Well, I just think it's fine.

00:55:29.280 We work really hard.

00:55:30.480 I know, me too.

00:55:31.300 And like I said, I really appreciate how brave you guys are.

00:55:34.160 Well, yeah, but if I hold, well, I held the mug the wrong way and now a woman's got the ick. 1.00

00:55:40.240 For some woman, yeah. 1.00

00:55:41.620 Do you know what?

00:55:42.180 A woman once told me, like, she goes, you're perfect.

00:55:45.660 I think you're such a great guy.

00:55:47.180 You've got everything.

00:55:48.260 She goes, I'll be honest with you.

00:55:49.440 I can't.

00:55:49.920 And I'm like, why?

00:55:50.540 She went, just the way you eat pizza. 0.92

00:55:52.540 You fold it like this.

00:55:53.620 Actually, you know what?

00:55:54.860 That's how I feel about you as well, man.

00:55:56.420 How do you eat the pizza?

00:55:57.420 I just fold it like that so I've got it and then I eat it like that so the cheese doesn't drip.

00:56:01.340 And she just said, I thought that was weird.

00:56:02.960 Is that the ick face?

00:56:03.840 Not for me.

00:56:04.660 Not for you.

00:56:04.960 No.

00:56:05.380 All right.

00:56:06.580 But yeah.

00:56:07.080 Yeah.

00:56:07.460 So it's the way you hold the mug.

00:56:12.760 It could be.

00:56:13.220 I'm happily married.

00:56:14.260 I'm still upset for men everywhere.

00:56:15.880 That's unfair.

00:56:16.480 Well, I think in a weird way, maybe it's your body just saying that that's not the right person.

00:56:20.980 And then when they do the attraction experiments, they had the women smell the t-shirts that the guy was wearing for three days.

00:56:27.560 So they would smell which one and then they would rate attraction based off of that.

00:56:31.400 And what they found is that the women that were picking certain t-shirts, it was actually the most genetic differences.

00:56:37.080 So that is to create like viable offspring that are more resistant to any kind of illness or plague and viruses, etc.

00:56:44.720 You don't become a medieval royal.

00:56:45.840 Right.

00:56:46.100 So maybe part of that is clicking into your olfactory system and maybe it's actually pheromones that just you get a waft of and then he's doing a thing.

00:56:54.180 So instead of you realizing it's really pheromones, it's like, no, he ate his pizza weird.

00:56:58.380 Do you know what I mean?

00:56:59.100 Yeah, absolutely.

00:57:00.140 But there's also the other element of it, which is like, and I've had female friends say this to me.

00:57:06.320 She was like, yeah, I knew he wasn't the one that I wanted to go out with.

00:57:09.540 And I'm like, why?

00:57:10.260 She went, he saw a spider and he let out a little scream.

00:57:13.540 Well, yes, I would agree with that all day because that goes back to masculinity and polarity.

00:57:18.460 So men have a relationship to death. 0.75

00:57:20.680 You're supposed to.

00:57:21.560 Women have a relationship to life. 1.00

00:57:23.200 We're supposed to.

00:57:24.000 So when it comes to killing the bug, that is the masculine. 0.99

00:57:27.220 It does have a significance in our psyche.

00:57:30.000 It's not just killing a spider.

00:57:31.360 It's, well, he killed a saber-toothed tiger.

00:57:33.980 Yeah.

00:57:34.640 Or another man who's coming on.

00:57:35.820 Right, exactly.

00:57:36.740 It's about safety.

00:57:38.100 So coming back to the friend zone, do you think, see, this is the conversation that I'm actually really glad we're having this chat, even though it doesn't really apply to me.

00:57:46.080 But it's still very interesting, theoretically, because the conversation about the friend zone from a male perspective, there is a dimension to it, which is like a woman wants a bit of danger and unpredict. 0.96

00:57:59.020 She wants her man to kind of be like a little bit hard to read and for there to be a little bit of like unpredictability to him and like he's not going to bow down to my wishes.

00:58:11.700 He's kind of like he's his own man.

00:58:14.640 Whereas the advice a lot of men get, oh, just be nice, just be nice.

00:58:18.520 And then when a lot of guys do that, they then find themselves in a position when they feel that maybe what they're not is they're not sufficiently interesting and not sufficiently unpredictable, not sufficiently, even sometimes, some might say not sufficiently dangerous to be attractive to a woman.

00:58:34.500 Well, I think women want a man that has purpose.

00:58:37.720 And I don't think any woman wants that purpose to be her. 1.00

00:58:40.600 So if that if that is the center of his world and he's bending over backwards or she's like, oh, babe, don't work on your project tonight or can't you just call out or right?

00:58:51.980 And he's constantly bending to her will.

00:58:54.140 Well, now she's the center of his orbit.

00:58:56.300 And I don't think any woman truly wants that. 1.00

00:58:58.900 So we want a man that has a purpose that's outside of us. 0.98

00:59:02.680 Right.

00:59:03.140 And still to show us love and affection and still give us time.

00:59:05.960 It's not to say don't give us any of those things, but there has to be something bigger.

00:59:09.540 So I think if you do have a man that is a yes man, he's so agreeable.

00:59:12.960 And again, it's almost love bombing in a sense that she's like, he doesn't have a purpose.

00:59:17.480 And I think that's what it is.

00:59:19.200 Yeah.

00:59:19.620 And also let's talk about testing, because apparently this is a thing.

00:59:23.000 Women test all the time. 1.00

00:59:24.220 Shit testing. 1.00

00:59:24.780 Shit testing. 1.00

00:59:25.720 Well, there's healthy versions and then there's toxic versions. 1.00

00:59:28.280 I think, again, that's the role of the females is to test the man. 1.00

00:59:31.580 It is to demand a higher performance of you in every single way.

00:59:36.520 Right.

00:59:36.880 So it's you can't test the strength of a of a pillar or a cliff unless you have a wave

00:59:41.860 that's crashing on it.

00:59:42.820 And the feminine is that wave. 1.00

00:59:44.620 So every time it's can you handle the fullness of the feminine? 0.87

00:59:47.400 Can you handle the fullness of chaos?

00:59:48.960 I want to see how you're going to show up in those conditions.

00:59:50.740 Yeah.

00:59:50.920 Yeah.

00:59:51.100 I've been there.

00:59:52.060 I've had that experience.

00:59:53.620 And most men have.

00:59:54.560 And it's something that you have to say thank you and look at it with love and gratitude.

00:59:57.940 And again, a call to action and a call to being a higher elevated man.

01:00:02.360 But if you have someone that's over testing or I saw this one woman, she she pretended 1.00

01:00:08.060 she passed out in the shower, out cold, laying there and hit her camera.

01:00:12.780 And this guy is losing like for way too long.

01:00:15.500 She's sitting there and he's losing it.

01:00:17.320 He's trying to resuscitate her.

01:00:18.700 He's looking for his phone.

01:00:19.840 He's panicking, panicking.

01:00:21.040 That's an unhealthy test.

01:00:22.620 That man needs to leave.

01:00:24.200 That woman needs an unhealthy amount of attention. 1.00

01:00:27.020 That's really odd behavior.

01:00:28.860 I think that you'll be able to know if you check in, is she testing me because she loves

01:00:32.180 me and she knows what I'm capable of?

01:00:34.100 Or is she testing me because she's insecure and she wants to make sure I'm not going to

01:00:37.500 go anywhere?

01:00:37.800 Or is she testing you because that's just what women do? 1.00

01:00:40.440 Yes.

01:00:40.880 Yes.

01:00:41.180 Women do tests. 1.00

01:00:41.860 But again, I think that that is our position.

01:00:43.860 That's our role.

01:00:44.400 Well, and understandably so.

01:00:46.020 I mean, you have to use indirect ways of finding out certain information, right?

01:00:50.340 Right.

01:00:50.620 Absolutely.

01:00:51.300 Yeah.

01:00:51.560 I don't think it's inherently bad.

01:00:52.920 Yeah.

01:00:53.300 Candice.

01:00:53.680 What a pleasure.

01:00:54.780 Thank you so much for coming on the show.

01:00:56.440 Final question is always the same.

01:00:57.860 What's the one thing we're not talking about as a society that we really should be?

01:01:01.780 Before Candice answers the final question at the end of the interview, make sure you

01:01:05.480 click the link in the description, head to our sub stack to see this.

01:01:09.640 The way that Europeans have sex is very different than American men. 0.86

01:01:13.160 Really? 0.95

01:01:13.500 Yes.

01:01:13.980 What's the difference?

01:01:15.320 What's the best chat up line you've ever heard?

01:01:18.080 How much foreplay do women generally need? 1.00

01:01:20.360 What does sexual wellness look like?

01:01:24.120 And what do I want my relationship to pleasure to be?

01:01:26.920 What does sexual wellness look like?

01:01:28.580 I think the first step is removing shame and the second step is getting down to first principles

01:01:33.660 and deciding what you want that to look like and not living your life based off of the fear

01:01:41.900 of everyone else's response.

01:01:43.180 Like to live your life authentically for yourself through agency, finding that passion, that play.

01:01:49.240 Because pleasure isn't inherently sexual, right?

01:01:51.380 It's how you play with your kids.

01:01:53.060 It's how you cook food.

01:01:54.040 It's how you garden.

01:01:55.160 And it is uncoupling the shame or the guilt or that you have to work to earn that.

01:01:59.740 And that's inherently yours.

01:02:01.160 You were born into this world with love and light and joy and pleasure.

01:02:05.740 And then that slowly kind of gets chipped away to where I have to earn my peace or I have to earn my play.

01:02:11.240 And I disagree with that.

01:02:13.520 All right.

01:02:14.200 Head on over to Substack where we ask Candice your questions. 1.00

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01:04:52.700 How much of the body count discussion do you think is driven by men's fears

01:04:56.480 that a woman with many sexual partners in her past is more likely to cheat? 0.96

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TRIGGERnometry - January 29, 2025

Porn, Only Fans and Bodycount - Candice Horbacz

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