TRIGGERnometry - The Fall Of The UK

00:00:00.700 Broadway's smash hit, the Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.

00:00:06.520 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs you love,

00:00:11.780 including America, Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.

00:00:15.780 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful, the next musical mega hit is here, the Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise.

00:00:22.620 Now through June 7th, 2026 at the Princess of Wales Theatre.

00:00:26.800 Get tickets at murbish.com.

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00:01:00.000 I'm British and I love my country.

00:01:08.840 I know that sounds a bit Brexity.

00:01:11.840 You're probably wondering if the police will be along shortly to check my thinking and throw me in solitary confinement

00:01:18.400 because I once borrowed a copy of Douglas Murray's Strange Death of Europe from the library.

00:01:23.180 But don't worry.

00:01:24.860 It's just a joke.

00:01:26.860 You're more likely to find a copy of the Torah in Abu Hamza's hands than a Douglas Murray book in a British library.

00:01:34.180 By the way, that joke works on two levels.

00:01:37.440 Number one, because Abu isn't the biggest fan of Jews.

00:01:41.320 And number two, because he doesn't have hands.

00:01:44.340 We currently have people getting arrested and put in prison for tweets at a staggering rate.

00:01:49.980 Roughly 12,000 people are arrested every year for things they write online.

00:01:55.540 12,000.

00:01:57.260 Things have got so bad that we're now letting sex offenders out early.

00:02:10.060 One was released after only serving 40% of his sentence

00:02:13.660 and within a matter of hours sexually assaulted someone at the train station.

00:02:18.680 What's a nonce going to do when he's released into his natural habitat?

00:02:22.280 That'd be like hiring someone from the BBC and expecting them to do fair and balanced journalism.

00:02:29.100 And not nonce someone.

00:02:31.320 Lucy Connelly was given 31 months for an incendiary tweet

00:02:35.160 and sex offenders get suspended prison sentences.

00:02:39.160 I don't understand the logic of this.

00:02:41.540 You're not going to stop perverts re-offending with a slap on the wrist.

00:02:45.820 If anything, it'll probably turn them on.

00:02:48.000 The Labour Party are now openly talking about chemically castrating paedophiles.

00:02:53.760 Presumably by putting twice the amount of microplastics in their balls than the average man already has.

00:03:00.020 At this point, our sperm is basically Lego.

00:03:03.400 But the really good news is,

00:03:05.340 we've now got someone even more useless as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

00:03:09.820 Rachel Rees is so terrible at economics,

00:03:12.760 she makes Latin American countries look like Zurich.

00:03:15.620 In the UK, if you earn over £37,700,

00:03:20.600 you get hit with a 40% tax rate.

00:03:24.460 Socialists love this,

00:03:26.140 as none of them will ever earn over £37,700.

00:03:30.540 In fact, socialists will never earn.

00:03:33.120 What a wonderful way to incentivise people to sit on their arse and get them to do nothing.

00:03:38.360 Because you know what you call a Brit with ambition?

00:03:41.040 An American.

00:03:42.020 We now have a cost-of-living crisis, energy crisis, migrant crisis, housing crisis.

00:03:47.600 The only thing that doesn't seem to be in crisis is Boris Johnson's unfathomably fertile ballsack.

00:03:53.880 He might be the only person who can stop our collapsing birthright.

00:03:58.160 Maybe he and Elon Musk can get together and repopulate the world until every child is either autistic

00:04:03.680 or resembles some kind of inbred narcissistic Labrador.

00:04:07.620 But maybe we don't need to have our own kids,

00:04:09.720 as we've got an endless stream of illegal immigrants coming over in inflatable dinghies who want to live in the UK.

00:04:15.760 You might be thinking these refugee bachelors wouldn't be desirable enough to become parents.

00:04:21.880 Well, I met one guy in the scene who told me since he's moved here,

00:04:25.080 he's managed to sleep with over 30 girls.

00:04:27.700 And five women.

00:04:30.520 But at this point, all I can think is, why are they coming?

00:04:34.280 If you're fleeing war-torn South Sudan, is East London really an upgrade?

00:04:39.020 The only real difference is that the gangs in South Sudan have higher literacy rates

00:04:43.160 and better command of the English language.

00:04:45.640 At least I know that if I get stabbed by an illegal immigrant,

00:04:48.860 they're going to do it properly and not half-arse it like a British kid would.

00:04:52.800 If they'd be able to do 12 stabbings in the morning,

00:04:56.420 and our boys would still be doom-scrolling zombie knife unboxing videos in their bedroom.

00:05:01.540 In fact, they'd probably stop halfway through that to sign on and drink a can of Monster.

00:05:06.700 Plus, if I did get stabbed by Nassim and his lads,

00:05:10.420 I wouldn't have to hear words like

00:05:12.040 "'cause' and fam'

00:05:13.940 as I slowly expire on the pavement

00:05:16.080 surrounded by pubescent retard-stressed head-to-toe track suits

00:05:19.860 they've stolen from JD Sports.

00:05:21.860 I'd really hate the last thing I'd see on Earth

00:05:25.180 to be some 12-year-old huffing on a triple-melon vape

00:05:27.940 while he extinguishes my consciousness over an iPhone 7.

00:05:32.000 Far better to hear the mostly peaceful cry of

00:05:34.920 Allah Akbar in the original Arabic.

00:05:37.860 So there we have it.

00:05:39.360 A nation in collapse,

00:05:40.800 a city about to descend into chaos,

00:05:42.960 and we can't even talk about it

00:05:44.760 because people are hypersensitive and irrational.

00:05:47.620 Well, they did say the future is female,

00:05:49.900 so it does make sense.

00:05:52.040 But remember the most important thing in all of this.

00:05:54.920 It could be worse.

00:05:56.440 Much, much, much worse.

00:05:59.060 We could be French.

00:06:00.120 If you enjoyed this,

00:06:03.000 make sure to head over to my substat

00:06:04.800 where you'll get incredible satire,

00:06:06.660 if I do say so myself,

00:06:07.840 just like this.

00:06:08.820 Link is in the description.

00:06:09.880 Broadway's smash hit,

00:06:28.260 the Neil Diamond musical,

00:06:29.700 A Beautiful Noise,

00:06:31.180 is coming to Toronto.

00:06:32.540 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn

00:06:34.400 destined for something more,

00:06:35.940 featuring all the songs you love,

00:06:37.820 including America,

00:06:39.100 Forever in Blue Jeans,

00:06:40.320 and Sweet Caroline.

00:06:41.820 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful,

00:06:43.620 the next musical mega hit is here,

00:06:45.900 the Neil Diamond musical,

00:06:47.500 A Beautiful Noise.

00:06:48.700 April 28th through June 7th,

00:06:50.640 2026,

00:06:51.720 the Princess of Wales Theatre.

00:06:53.160 Get tickets at Mirvish.com.

TRIGGERnometry - June 12, 2025

The Fall Of The UK - Francis Foster

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