TRIGGERnometry - You've Been Lied To About Masculinity

00:00:01.000 The data is pretty stark.

00:00:04.000 If any group was killing themselves at four times the rate of the control group,

00:00:07.000 people would say, there's a problem here.

00:00:09.000 We need to weigh in with economic and social programs.

00:00:11.000 A boy, the moment he loses a male role model,

00:00:14.000 at that moment he becomes more likely to be incarcerated

00:00:17.000 than graduate from college.

00:00:19.000 Men between the ages of 20 and 30 are spending less time outside

00:00:22.000 than prison inmates,

00:00:24.000 and 45% of men 18 to 24 have never asked a woman out in person.

00:00:29.000 I would argue are evolving a species of asocial, asexual males.

00:00:34.000 And the problem is, people look at me and say,

00:00:37.000 you had a 3,000 year head start.

00:00:39.000 So the question is, should we hold a 19 year old male accountable

00:00:43.000 for my unearned privilege?

00:00:45.000 So, how do you be a young man today?

00:00:49.000 What is the man code?

00:00:59.000 You have a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more,

00:01:01.000 featuring all the songs you love,

00:01:03.000 including America,

00:01:04.000 Forever in Blue Jeans, and Sweet Caroline.

00:01:07.000 Like Jersey Boys and Beautiful,

00:01:09.000 the next musical mega hit is here.

00:01:11.000 The Neil Diamond Musical.

00:01:13.000 A Beautiful Noise.

00:01:14.000 April 28th through June 7th, 2026.

00:01:17.000 The Princess of Wales Theatre.

00:01:19.000 Get tickets at Mervish.com.

00:01:24.000 Scott Galloway, welcome to Trigonometry.

00:01:26.000 It's great to be here.

00:01:27.000 Someone literally asked me

00:01:28.000 who my favorite conservative was,

00:01:30.000 and I had to pause, and I said,

00:01:31.000 oh, this kid Constantine out of the UK

00:01:34.000 is like thoughtful, nice,

00:01:35.000 and I find myself nodding more than I like.

00:01:37.000 Well, I'm 43, I'm not a conservative.

00:01:39.000 But apart from that...

00:01:40.000 You're a conservative man.

00:01:41.000 I totally think...

00:01:43.000 Come out of the closet as a conservative.

00:01:45.000 Let's talk about that.

00:01:46.000 What makes me a conservative?

00:01:48.000 I find that most of your viewpoints

00:01:49.000 probably are more generally assigned

00:01:51.000 to a conservative viewpoint.

00:01:52.000 And that's not to say...

00:01:53.000 And the reason I admire you

00:01:55.000 is that you can go behind enemy lines

00:01:57.000 and realize there's some nuance.

00:01:58.000 And I would define a critical thinker

00:02:00.000 as somebody who doesn't immediately

00:02:02.000 sign up for an orthodoxy 100%.

00:02:05.000 And one of the things I don't like about the left,

00:02:07.000 of which I'm a proud member,

00:02:09.000 is we have a certain apostate culture.

00:02:11.000 And that is you either sign up for all 100%,

00:02:14.000 but if you say, as I did two and a half years ago,

00:02:17.000 Biden's too old to run for president,

00:02:19.000 or we shouldn't have transgender women

00:02:22.000 compete in NCAA events

00:02:24.000 where there's medals being handed out,

00:02:26.000 you're treated like an apostate.

00:02:28.000 I mean, the response is so swift

00:02:30.000 and violent from the left

00:02:32.000 that there's a lot of pressure

00:02:33.000 to sign up for the orthodoxy.

00:02:34.000 And I like what Jonathan Haidt, my colleague, says,

00:02:36.000 when we all bark up the same tree,

00:02:38.000 we get stupid.

00:02:39.000 And occasionally, I listen to you,

00:02:41.000 and occasionally you say something

00:02:42.000 that sounds like a progressive.

00:02:44.000 And I would describe that as a critical thinker,

00:02:46.000 as someone who says,

00:02:47.000 occasionally, I'm going to color outside of the lines

00:02:49.000 of what I'm supposed to be saying.

00:02:51.000 I also find a bit of a word salad here.

00:02:53.000 People take you more seriously,

00:02:55.000 despite the negative comments you get,

00:02:57.000 because your fans expect a certain thing,

00:03:00.000 and they get upset sometimes

00:03:01.000 when you hear from it.

00:03:02.000 I think people respect people

00:03:04.000 who they're not entirely sure

00:03:05.000 what's going to come out of their mouth, right?

00:03:07.000 I certainly respect those people,

00:03:09.000 but the reason that I don't consider myself

00:03:11.000 a conservative is,

00:03:12.000 well, the way I see it is,

00:03:14.000 these things are inconsistent over time and space.

00:03:18.000 What I mean by that is two things.

00:03:20.000 When I was 20, the left that I saw,

00:03:26.000 my great heroes were people like Bill Hicks

00:03:28.000 and George Carlin.

00:03:29.000 Yeah.

00:03:30.000 People who were pushing against

00:03:32.000 the religious authoritarian right.

00:03:35.000 Yeah.

00:03:36.000 And it was the religious authoritarian right

00:03:38.000 that said,

00:03:39.000 you can't make these jokes.

00:03:40.000 You can't talk about this.

00:03:41.000 You know, we've got...

00:03:43.000 The shutting down of debate

00:03:45.000 was coming from the right.

00:03:46.000 Yeah.

00:03:47.000 In that time, 100%.

00:03:48.000 Number one.

00:03:49.000 So that is changed.

00:03:51.000 And the other thing is,

00:03:52.000 it's also a geographical thing.

00:03:54.000 I'm from Russia.

00:03:55.000 In Russia, I'm a woke libtard.

00:03:57.000 Yeah.

00:03:58.000 In Britain, I probably am centre right.

00:04:01.000 In America, I am genuinely independent

00:04:03.000 and centre.

00:04:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:05.000 But I guess the way I think about it,

00:04:07.000 and I use this phrase often,

00:04:08.000 it's that former British foreign secretary

00:04:10.000 who said,

00:04:11.000 we have no permanent alliances.

00:04:13.000 We have permanent interests

00:04:14.000 and it's to them that we owe allegiance.

00:04:16.000 So I operate based much more on principles

00:04:19.000 than teams.

00:04:20.000 And that's why I reject the label,

00:04:23.000 even though now it's undoubtedly the case

00:04:25.000 that what I believe,

00:04:27.000 which is preservation of Western civilization,

00:04:29.000 freedom of expression,

00:04:30.000 you know, all these other things.

00:04:32.000 Yeah.

00:04:33.000 They do, in the current climate,

00:04:34.000 lean more conservative,

00:04:36.000 but it's very possible.

00:04:38.000 And I, you know,

00:04:39.000 I'm increasingly talking about this movement

00:04:41.000 on the right that I really dislike.

00:04:43.000 The 10, 15 years from now,

00:04:44.000 it is again Christian,

00:04:46.000 or not just Christian,

00:04:47.000 but religious conservatives.

00:04:49.000 Yeah.

00:04:50.000 Who are fighting all the things that I believe in.

00:04:51.000 Does that make sense?

00:04:52.000 Does that make sense?

00:04:53.000 It does make sense.

00:04:54.000 The axis changes.

00:04:55.000 What you're saying is,

00:04:56.000 it's like what Bill Maher says.

00:04:57.000 He doesn't say,

00:04:58.000 I've changed,

00:04:59.000 the Democratic Party has changed.

00:05:01.000 I think of any political ideology,

00:05:03.000 I would fit probably what was considered

00:05:06.000 a Rockefeller Republican,

00:05:07.000 even though I'm a Democrat now.

00:05:09.000 When you look back,

00:05:10.000 you know,

00:05:11.000 it was Teddy Roosevelt

00:05:12.000 who was the great environmentalist.

00:05:13.000 He was a Republican, right?

00:05:14.000 It was,

00:05:15.000 I think Nixon promoted,

00:05:16.000 I liked his foreign policy.

00:05:18.000 He was also,

00:05:19.000 I think he passed the Clean Water Act.

00:05:21.000 It's sort of,

00:05:22.000 let me put it this way.

00:05:24.000 It's the axis that's moving, right?

00:05:26.000 And you're saying right now

00:05:28.000 that you might fit a certain ideology,

00:05:30.000 but it might be considered something else.

00:05:32.000 Anyway,

00:05:33.000 I hear you and feel like,

00:05:35.000 I mean,

00:05:36.000 it's so interesting.

00:05:37.000 When I look back on some of our candidates,

00:05:39.000 I now look at President Bush

00:05:43.000 who made probably the greatest strategic error

00:05:45.000 since our intervention

00:05:46.000 into Southeast Asia

00:05:47.000 going into Iraq.

00:05:48.000 But I think in terms of complexion

00:05:50.000 and the way he approached social issues,

00:05:53.000 I'm pretty in line with him.

00:05:55.000 And yet I was taught at the time

00:05:56.000 as a Democrat that he was evil.

00:05:58.000 And then I think about,

00:05:59.000 I would kill right now

00:06:00.000 for Senator Romney to be president.

00:06:04.000 And I was not a fan when he was running.

00:06:07.000 So yeah, world changes.

00:06:09.000 Absolutely.

00:06:10.000 And one of the things that has changed,

00:06:12.000 that has changed,

00:06:13.000 is very much the role of boys and young men

00:06:16.000 in today's society.

00:06:17.000 Yeah.

00:06:18.000 And you've spoken about this

00:06:19.000 and you've written a book

00:06:20.000 and you've been very eloquent

00:06:21.000 and very nuanced

00:06:22.000 and very thoughtful about this.

00:06:23.000 And you've spoken about

00:06:24.000 why you're worried

00:06:25.000 about this generation

00:06:26.000 of young men in particular.

00:06:27.000 Why is that, Scott?

00:06:29.000 Well, Francis,

00:06:30.000 the data is pretty stark and clear.

00:06:33.000 If you go into a morgue

00:06:34.000 and there's five people

00:06:35.000 who died by suicide,

00:06:36.000 four are men.

00:06:38.000 More women-owned homes,

00:06:39.000 single women-owned homes in the U.S.

00:06:41.000 than men.

00:06:42.000 And by the way,

00:06:43.000 we should do nothing to get them

00:06:44.000 in the way of that.

00:06:45.000 If you,

00:06:46.000 if you,

00:06:47.000 one in three men

00:06:48.000 are in a relationship

00:06:49.000 under the age of 30.

00:06:50.000 Two in three women

00:06:51.000 under the age of 30

00:06:52.000 are in a relationship.

00:06:53.000 And you think,

00:06:54.000 well, that's mathematically impossible.

00:06:55.000 Well, it's not because women

00:06:56.000 are dating older

00:06:57.000 because they want more economically

00:06:58.000 and emotionally viable men.

00:06:59.000 There are now one in seven men

00:07:01.000 in the United States

00:07:02.000 are considered NEATs.

00:07:03.000 They're neither in education,

00:07:04.000 employed,

00:07:05.000 or in training.

00:07:07.000 So you have,

00:07:08.000 there was just this crazy stat,

00:07:10.000 a couple of crazy stats

00:07:11.000 I've seen last week.

00:07:12.000 Men between the ages of 20 and 30

00:07:13.000 are spending less time outside

00:07:15.000 than prison inmates.

00:07:16.000 And 45% of men,

00:07:18.000 18 to 24,

00:07:19.000 have never asked a woman

00:07:20.000 out in person.

00:07:21.000 So you,

00:07:22.000 we're essentially producing,

00:07:24.000 I would argue,

00:07:25.000 or evolving a species

00:07:26.000 of asocial,

00:07:27.000 asexual males.

00:07:28.000 And the gag reflex,

00:07:30.000 which is understandable,

00:07:31.000 is like,

00:07:32.000 well,

00:07:33.000 they should just get

00:07:34.000 their act together.

00:07:35.000 And women have had these problems

00:07:37.000 for thousands of years.

00:07:38.000 Why is your hair on fire now?

00:07:40.000 And the knock-on effects

00:07:41.000 are pretty severe for society

00:07:43.000 because,

00:07:44.000 if we're going to have

00:07:45.000 an ominous conversation

00:07:46.000 around mating,

00:07:47.000 I do believe,

00:07:48.000 look,

00:07:49.000 I believe GDP AI,

00:07:50.000 you know,

00:07:51.000 podcasts,

00:07:52.000 it's all a means.

00:07:53.000 The ends is,

00:07:54.000 I think,

00:07:55.000 for most people,

00:07:56.000 secure and loving households.

00:07:57.000 I think that is where

00:07:58.000 we find the most purpose,

00:07:59.000 the most reward,

00:08:00.000 the most happiness,

00:08:01.000 is building a life with someone.

00:08:02.000 And when men aren't

00:08:04.000 economically viable,

00:08:05.000 men made,

00:08:06.000 made socioeconomically

00:08:07.000 horizontally and up,

00:08:08.000 excuse me,

00:08:10.000 horizontally and down,

00:08:11.000 women horizontally and up.

00:08:12.000 And when the pool

00:08:13.000 of horizontal and up

00:08:14.000 keeps shrinking,

00:08:15.000 there's just less

00:08:16.000 household formation.

00:08:17.000 people who are not

00:08:18.000 going to be able to

00:08:19.000 get married.

00:08:20.000 So 60% of people age 30,

00:08:21.000 40 years ago,

00:08:22.000 had a child in the house,

00:08:23.000 not 27%.

00:08:24.000 And the question is,

00:08:25.000 are young people not deciding

00:08:26.000 to have kids

00:08:27.000 because they don't want them?

00:08:28.000 I don't think that's true at all.

00:08:29.000 I think it's one,

00:08:30.000 because they don't have the money.

00:08:31.000 A series of economic policies

00:08:32.000 in the U.S. have transferred money

00:08:33.000 from people their age

00:08:34.000 to people my age.

00:08:35.000 People under the age of 40

00:08:36.000 are 24% less wealthy

00:08:38.000 than they were 40 years ago.

00:08:39.000 People my age are 72% wealthier

00:08:41.000 than they were 40 years ago.

00:08:42.000 And also the number of people,

00:08:44.000 the number of viable mates

00:08:46.000 or what women

00:08:47.000 would perceive as mates

00:08:48.000 is shrinking.

00:08:49.000 So quite frankly,

00:08:50.000 there's just less mating,

00:08:51.000 less connection

00:08:52.000 among men and women.

00:08:54.000 And you're finding,

00:08:56.000 I think,

00:08:57.000 I think this mating crisis,

00:08:59.000 a lack of economic opportunity,

00:09:01.000 lack of skills being developed

00:09:02.000 by young men.

00:09:03.000 And then finally,

00:09:04.000 I think probably

00:09:06.000 the biggest menace,

00:09:07.000 I mean,

00:09:08.000 it's a multi-menstrual problem,

00:09:09.000 but 40% of our market cap

00:09:11.000 in the S&C

00:09:13.000 is represented by 10 companies.

00:09:14.000 And those companies represent

00:09:15.000 20% of global market value.

00:09:17.000 These are the most valuable companies

00:09:19.000 in history.

00:09:20.000 And unbeknownst

00:09:22.000 and unwittingly

00:09:24.000 and incrementally,

00:09:25.000 what the algorithms

00:09:26.000 that drive the profitability

00:09:27.000 of these companies

00:09:28.000 have figured out

00:09:29.000 is that the way

00:09:30.000 to keep people engaged

00:09:31.000 on the phone

00:09:32.000 is through enragement

00:09:33.000 and polarization.

00:09:34.000 And young men

00:09:35.000 with much less mature

00:09:36.000 prefrontal cortices

00:09:37.000 are much more prone

00:09:38.000 to go down

00:09:39.000 kind of DOPA-inspired

00:09:41.000 facsimiles of life online.

00:09:43.000 Why have friends

00:09:44.000 or why go through

00:09:45.000 the pecking order of friends

00:09:46.000 when you have Reddit

00:09:47.000 and Discord?

00:09:48.000 Why put on a tie

00:09:49.000 and try and get a job

00:09:50.000 when you can make money

00:09:51.000 trading crypto or stocks

00:09:52.000 on Robinhood or Coinbase?

00:09:54.000 Why would you go through

00:09:55.000 the humiliation,

00:09:56.000 the effort,

00:09:57.000 the expense

00:09:58.000 of trying to find

00:09:59.000 a romantic partner

00:10:00.000 when you have literally

00:10:01.000 lifelike synthetic porn

00:10:02.000 24 by 7?

00:10:04.000 So unfortunately,

00:10:05.000 we have the most valuable

00:10:06.000 companies in the world

00:10:07.000 with godlike technology

00:10:08.000 have connected

00:10:09.000 the sequestration

00:10:10.000 and polarization

00:10:11.000 of young men

00:10:13.000 from society.

00:10:14.000 And what we have,

00:10:15.000 I think,

00:10:16.000 is a series,

00:10:17.000 a cohort

00:10:18.000 of the most dangerous

00:10:19.000 person throughout history

00:10:20.000 and that is a young,

00:10:21.000 broke, lonely man.

00:10:22.000 And we're producing

00:10:23.000 too many of them.

00:10:24.000 And then finally,

00:10:25.000 I just relate to them.

00:10:26.000 When I was a younger man,

00:10:28.000 I was unremarkable.

00:10:29.000 I didn't have a lot

00:10:30.000 of romantic

00:10:31.000 or economic opportunities.

00:10:33.000 So I just feel like I,

00:10:35.000 I quote unquote,

00:10:36.000 I see them.

00:10:37.000 And it's,

00:10:38.000 what you've done

00:10:39.000 very beautifully

00:10:40.000 is broken down,

00:10:41.000 particularly from

00:10:42.000 an economic perspective,

00:10:43.000 which I don't think

00:10:44.000 people focus enough on,

00:10:45.000 of the plight of young men.

00:10:47.000 And we're going to get into

00:10:48.000 all of that throughout

00:10:49.000 the conversation.

00:10:50.000 But you also grew up

00:10:51.000 a single parent

00:10:52.000 in a single parent household,

00:10:54.000 which was more unusual

00:10:55.000 when you were growing up.

00:10:56.000 But now,

00:10:57.000 unfortunately,

00:10:58.000 it's becoming more

00:10:59.000 and more common.

00:11:00.000 And that is a very real issue

00:11:01.000 for young men.

00:11:02.000 Yeah,

00:11:03.000 you're zooming on the key issues.

00:11:04.000 So people look at me

00:11:05.000 and they hear my talk

00:11:06.000 and they assume that I went

00:11:07.000 to like Exeter

00:11:08.000 and, you know,

00:11:09.000 was playing squash growing up.

00:11:10.000 I was raised

00:11:11.000 by a single immigrant mother

00:11:12.000 who lived and died

00:11:13.000 as secretary, actually,

00:11:14.000 immigrated from the UK.

00:11:15.000 I got assisted lunch.

00:11:16.000 I got Pell Grants,

00:11:17.000 which are basically

00:11:18.000 government programs

00:11:19.000 to help lift up people

00:11:20.000 from low-income households.

00:11:22.000 And if you reverse engineer

00:11:24.000 the single point of failure,

00:11:26.000 if you were to try

00:11:27.000 and predict this boy

00:11:28.000 is going to struggle,

00:11:29.000 the fulcrum of that

00:11:31.000 or the point of failure

00:11:33.000 is when he loses

00:11:34.000 a male role model

00:11:35.000 through death,

00:11:36.000 divorce or abandonment.

00:11:37.000 What's interesting

00:11:38.000 is that we have

00:11:39.000 the second most

00:11:40.000 single-parent homes

00:11:41.000 in the world

00:11:42.000 just behind Sweden.

00:11:43.000 And when we say

00:11:44.000 single-parent homes,

00:11:45.000 we really mean women.

00:11:46.000 It's somewhere between 82

00:11:47.000 and 80% of women

00:11:48.000 had single-parent households.

00:11:50.000 What's interesting

00:11:51.000 is that girls

00:11:52.000 in single-parent households

00:11:53.000 have similar outcomes

00:11:55.000 girls in dual-income households,

00:11:58.000 dual-parent households.

00:11:59.000 They might be more promiscuous

00:12:00.000 because they're looking

00:12:01.000 for male attention

00:12:02.000 in the wrong areas

00:12:03.000 because of an absence

00:12:04.000 of male attention,

00:12:05.000 but they have the same rates

00:12:06.000 of college attendance,

00:12:07.000 same rates of self-harm,

00:12:08.000 same rates of income.

00:12:11.000 They're actually fine.

00:12:13.000 A boy,

00:12:14.000 the moment he loses

00:12:15.000 a male role model,

00:12:16.000 at that moment,

00:12:17.000 he becomes more likely

00:12:18.000 to be incarcerated

00:12:19.000 than graduate from college.

00:12:21.000 What it ends up is that,

00:12:23.000 and all the research points this way,

00:12:25.000 is that while boys

00:12:26.000 are physically stronger,

00:12:27.000 they're emotionally,

00:12:28.000 neurologically,

00:12:29.000 and mentally

00:12:30.000 much weaker than girls,

00:12:31.000 and we don't acknowledge that.

00:12:33.000 And in addition,

00:12:34.000 if you think of

00:12:35.000 the primary lubricant

00:12:36.000 for upward mobility

00:12:37.000 in the West,

00:12:38.000 I think most people

00:12:39.000 would point to,

00:12:40.000 unfortunately now,

00:12:41.000 it's the wealthier parents,

00:12:42.000 but before that,

00:12:43.000 it was college attendance.

00:12:45.000 College attendance

00:12:46.000 was the greatest,

00:12:47.000 the greatest accelerant

00:12:48.000 of income mobility.

00:12:50.000 It was 40-60

00:12:52.000 female to male

00:12:54.000 40 years ago.

00:12:55.000 Now it's 60-40

00:12:56.000 female to male.

00:12:57.000 And it's,

00:12:58.000 that's not even really

00:12:59.000 indicative of the reality,

00:13:00.000 because the reason

00:13:01.000 you go to college

00:13:02.000 is to get certified,

00:13:03.000 to get a degree.

00:13:04.000 And because men drop out

00:13:05.000 at a greater rate,

00:13:06.000 we may have two women

00:13:07.000 for every one male

00:13:09.000 that graduates from college

00:13:11.000 in the next 10 years.

00:13:12.000 So you have,

00:13:13.000 essentially,

00:13:14.000 young men

00:13:15.000 are coming off the tracks,

00:13:16.000 an absence of male role models,

00:13:19.000 and the reason

00:13:20.000 we haven't weighed in

00:13:21.000 with programs,

00:13:22.000 if any group

00:13:23.000 was killing themselves

00:13:24.000 at four times the rate

00:13:25.000 of the control group,

00:13:26.000 people would say,

00:13:27.000 there's a problem here,

00:13:28.000 we need to weigh in

00:13:29.000 with economic

00:13:30.000 and social programs.

00:13:31.000 But there isn't

00:13:32.000 a rush to help,

00:13:33.000 because there's a lack

00:13:34.000 of empathy,

00:13:35.000 because of my generation

00:13:36.000 recognizing such

00:13:37.000 a disproportionate

00:13:38.000 amount of prosperity,

00:13:40.000 that we're holding

00:13:41.000 a 19-year-old accountable.

00:13:44.000 I call it the Red Army effect,

00:13:46.000 and that is,

00:13:47.000 I know you're from Russia,

00:13:49.000 you know,

00:13:50.000 Hitler brutalized

00:13:51.000 the Russian people.

00:13:52.000 So when they came

00:13:53.000 into Berlin,

00:13:54.000 mildly speaking,

00:13:55.000 they were pissed off.

00:13:57.000 You can say that again.

00:13:59.000 And there was horror

00:14:01.000 on both sides.

00:14:02.000 That's right.

00:14:03.000 And it's probably

00:14:04.000 the wrong analogy,

00:14:06.000 but when people look at me,

00:14:07.000 they say,

00:14:08.000 okay, Scott,

00:14:09.000 and this is true,

00:14:10.000 from 1945 to 2000,

00:14:11.000 America registered a third

00:14:13.000 of the economic growth

00:14:14.000 of the entire world

00:14:15.000 with 5% of the population.

00:14:16.000 So, loosely speaking,

00:14:18.000 six times the prosperity

00:14:19.000 of the rest of the world.

00:14:20.000 And then we took

00:14:21.000 all of that prosperity,

00:14:23.000 and we mostly crammed it

00:14:25.000 into the pockets

00:14:27.000 of people born white,

00:14:28.000 heterosexual males.

00:14:29.000 I hit the lottery

00:14:31.000 being born,

00:14:32.000 you know,

00:14:33.000 being born Caucasian

00:14:34.000 with outdoor plumbing

00:14:35.000 and as a heterosexual.

00:14:36.000 I just hit the lottery.

00:14:37.000 I think I got

00:14:38.000 a disproportionate,

00:14:39.000 unfair amount

00:14:40.000 of advantage.

00:14:41.000 When I was,

00:14:42.000 I made my money

00:14:43.000 in the 90s,

00:14:44.000 raising money

00:14:45.000 in venture capital,

00:14:46.000 I couldn't name now

00:14:48.000 a non-white,

00:14:49.000 a gay man,

00:14:51.000 or a woman

00:14:52.000 who was raising money

00:14:53.000 in the 90s.

00:14:54.000 And I never stopped

00:14:55.000 to think, well,

00:14:56.000 why aren't non-whites,

00:14:57.000 why aren't women

00:14:58.000 raising capital?

00:14:59.000 And I didn't even recognize

00:15:00.000 kind of the advantage

00:15:01.000 I have.

00:15:02.000 When you're the recipient

00:15:03.000 of unfair advantage,

00:15:04.000 you just think it's

00:15:05.000 your character

00:15:06.000 and your grit.

00:15:07.000 At least I wasn't

00:15:08.000 self-aware enough.

00:15:09.000 A woman

00:15:10.000 does not have

00:15:11.000 that advantage.

00:15:12.000 I would argue

00:15:13.000 he has disadvantage.

00:15:14.000 K-12,

00:15:15.000 highly biased against boys.

00:15:16.000 A boy is twice as likely

00:15:17.000 to be suspended

00:15:18.000 on a behavior-adjusted basis.

00:15:19.000 Same behavior.

00:15:20.000 A black boy,

00:15:21.000 five times as likely.

00:15:22.000 What are the behaviors

00:15:23.000 we teach in school?

00:15:24.000 Sit still,

00:15:25.000 be organized,

00:15:26.000 be pleased to raise your hand.

00:15:27.000 You just described a girl.

00:15:28.000 So,

00:15:29.000 and 70 to 80%

00:15:30.000 of people

00:15:31.000 in our K-12 infrastructure

00:15:32.000 are women.

00:15:33.000 And who are women

00:15:34.000 like anyone naturally

00:15:35.000 champion?

00:15:36.000 Girls.

00:15:37.000 So,

00:15:38.000 you have,

00:15:39.000 I think,

00:15:40.000 a set of wins

00:15:41.000 in the face now

00:15:42.000 versus in the backs

00:15:43.000 of young males.

00:15:44.000 And the problem is,

00:15:45.000 people look at me

00:15:46.000 and say,

00:15:47.000 alright boss,

00:15:48.000 you got,

00:15:49.000 you had a 3,000 year head start.

00:15:50.000 So, the question is,

00:15:51.000 should we hold

00:15:52.000 a 19 year old male

00:15:53.000 accountable

00:15:54.000 for my unearned privilege?

00:15:57.000 New year,

00:15:58.000 new systems, right?

00:15:59.000 This is the time

00:16:00.000 when we all look at

00:16:01.000 the messier parts

00:16:02.000 of the business

00:16:03.000 and think,

00:16:04.000 there has to be a better way.

00:16:05.000 And there is.

00:16:06.000 Streamlining your communications

00:16:07.000 is one of the quickest

00:16:08.000 and easiest upgrades

00:16:09.000 you can make.

00:16:10.000 That's why today's episode

00:16:11.000 is brought to you

00:16:12.000 by Quo,

00:16:13.000 spelled Q-U-O,

00:16:14.000 the smarter way

00:16:15.000 to run your business communications.

00:16:17.000 A missed call

00:16:18.000 is money out of the door.

00:16:19.000 Quo helps you

00:16:20.000 and your team

00:16:21.000 share one business number,

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00:16:23.000 and stay on top

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00:16:29.000 Your entire team

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00:16:33.000 with the full conversation thread

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00:16:35.000 Quo works wherever you are.

00:16:37.000 Right from an app

00:16:38.000 on your phone

00:16:39.000 or computer,

00:16:40.000 it lets you keep

00:16:41.000 your existing number

00:16:42.000 and makes it easy

00:16:43.000 to add teammates

00:16:44.000 or new numbers

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00:16:46.000 And Quo isn't just

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00:16:53.000 so nothing gets lost.

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00:16:55.000 after hours,

00:16:56.000 keeping your business responsive

00:16:58.000 when you're offline.

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00:17:00.000 when no opportunity

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00:17:03.000 Try Quo for free.

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00:17:05.000 your first six months

00:17:06.000 when you go to

00:17:07.000 Quo.com slash trig.

00:17:09.000 That's Q-U-O dot com slash T-R-I-G.

00:17:13.000 Quo.

00:17:14.000 No miss calls.

00:17:15.000 No miss customers.

00:17:16.000 Some say the bubbles

00:17:18.000 in an Aero truffle piece

00:17:19.000 can take 34 seconds

00:17:20.000 to melt in your mouth.

00:17:22.000 Sometimes the very amount

00:17:23.000 you're stuck at the same red light.

00:17:25.000 Rich, creamy, chocolatey Aero truffle.

00:17:29.000 Feel the Aero bubbles melt.

00:17:31.000 It's mind bubbling.

00:17:33.000 And that is, I think,

00:17:34.000 what we have been doing.

00:17:35.000 And I think, culturally,

00:17:36.000 it really came out, I think,

00:17:38.000 over the last 10 years

00:17:40.000 in particular.

00:17:41.000 If we were behaving like this

00:17:44.000 as a society

00:17:45.000 towards any other group,

00:17:47.000 we'd be disgusted.

00:17:48.000 You know, all men are trash,

00:17:51.000 the future's female,

00:17:52.000 all of this stuff.

00:17:53.000 And you go, that, like,

00:17:55.000 whatever the arguments may be

00:17:57.000 about the way that women

00:17:59.000 and minorities have been

00:18:00.000 disadvantaged 30, 40 years ago,

00:18:02.000 a 15-year-old Zuma boy

00:18:05.000 neither benefited from that

00:18:07.000 nor created that situation.

00:18:09.000 And yet, for a lot of them,

00:18:10.000 it feels like they've been

00:18:11.000 bearing the brunt of that

00:18:13.000 attempt to amend history.

00:18:16.000 Yeah, there really is

00:18:18.000 a double standard.

00:18:19.000 So, you watch, like,

00:18:23.000 Mad Men of these programs.

00:18:24.000 The guy who's aggressive

00:18:25.000 romantically slash sexually,

00:18:27.000 who makes an effort to

00:18:28.000 approach strange women,

00:18:29.000 that used to be

00:18:30.000 an admirable quality.

00:18:32.000 Now it's pathologized

00:18:34.000 and demonized.

00:18:35.000 Right.

00:18:36.000 So this is anecdotal evidence.

00:18:37.000 I don't have data around this.

00:18:38.000 But when I go out

00:18:40.000 to, quote-unquote,

00:18:41.000 social atmospheres or bars,

00:18:43.000 women, and I'm not exaggerating,

00:18:45.000 and I'm not exaggerating here,

00:18:47.000 dozens of times have said

00:18:48.000 something along the lines of,

00:18:49.000 I'm out.

00:18:50.000 I'm single.

00:18:51.000 I'm ready to mingle.

00:18:52.000 I look amazing.

00:18:53.000 No men ever approach me.

00:18:55.000 No men ever approach me.

00:18:57.000 And the question is,

00:18:58.000 well, okay, why would they?

00:19:00.000 Say you're in New York

00:19:02.000 and you're a dude

00:19:03.000 and you're at the bar

00:19:04.000 and you see someone,

00:19:06.000 a group of girls who want

00:19:07.000 to speak to a group of women.

00:19:08.000 You approach them.

00:19:09.000 You say something indeligant

00:19:11.000 or you're not very good at it

00:19:12.000 or it's inartful

00:19:13.000 or it was the wrong time

00:19:15.000 and you all work together

00:19:16.000 at J.P. Morgan.

00:19:17.000 It ends up being one of the 300,000 people

00:19:19.000 that work at J.P. Morgan.

00:19:21.000 You're now that guy.

00:19:23.000 Does a young man really want to,

00:19:26.000 and this is one of the things,

00:19:27.000 I talk about the legs

00:19:28.000 of stool masculinity.

00:19:29.000 I think one of them is procreation.

00:19:31.000 What it ends up is the guys

00:19:33.000 who are abusing their power.

00:19:35.000 It was a small,

00:19:36.000 very small number of men

00:19:37.000 who were doing it a lot.

00:19:38.000 Right.

00:19:39.000 And the vast majority of men

00:19:41.000 know the difference

00:19:42.000 between expressing interest

00:19:43.000 and harassing someone.

00:19:44.000 Know that they shouldn't abuse their power.

00:19:46.000 Mm-hmm.

00:19:47.000 But interest in romance,

00:19:49.000 interest in sex

00:19:50.000 has been pathologized,

00:19:51.000 pathologized amongst young men.

00:19:53.000 And I would argue

00:19:54.000 that we need to embrace

00:19:55.000 and even celebrate it

00:19:56.000 because the way I describe

00:19:59.000 romantic or sexual interest

00:20:01.000 among a young man

00:20:02.000 is it's like fire.

00:20:03.000 It can be very harmful

00:20:05.000 if you start watching a lot of porn

00:20:07.000 and you start thinking of women

00:20:08.000 as objects

00:20:09.000 and it creates unrealistic expectations

00:20:11.000 around a relationship

00:20:12.000 and quite frankly,

00:20:13.000 the algorithms start figuring out

00:20:15.000 how to keep you online

00:20:16.000 with more and more extreme porn,

00:20:17.000 which borders on misogyny

00:20:19.000 or is misogynistic

00:20:20.000 and borders on violence.

00:20:21.000 That's fire that can be destructive.

00:20:23.000 But I think the vast majority

00:20:25.000 of interest of a young man

00:20:27.000 wanting to get out there

00:20:28.000 and wanting to get out there,

00:20:30.000 when I met my wife,

00:20:32.000 I didn't look at her

00:20:33.000 and think,

00:20:34.000 I'd like lower life insurance rates

00:20:35.000 in 20 years.

00:20:36.000 Quite frankly,

00:20:37.000 I saw her

00:20:38.000 and to be blunt,

00:20:39.000 thought I would really like

00:20:40.000 to have sex with her.

00:20:42.000 And because I wanted to have

00:20:44.000 a lot of sex as a young man

00:20:46.000 or at least have the opportunities,

00:20:47.000 I dressed better.

00:20:48.000 I worked out.

00:20:49.000 I tried to have a plan.

00:20:51.000 Demonstrate kindness.

00:20:53.000 Demonstrate excellence.

00:20:54.000 But where,

00:20:55.000 when a man is,

00:20:56.000 unless he looks like Brad Pitt,

00:20:58.000 told he risks being a creep

00:21:00.000 or that guy

00:21:01.000 if he makes unwelcome advances,

00:21:03.000 we're discouraging

00:21:04.000 from making the approach.

00:21:05.000 And regardless of what

00:21:06.000 The Atlantic

00:21:07.000 or The New York Times

00:21:08.000 will tell you,

00:21:09.000 80% of women still say

00:21:10.000 they want the man

00:21:11.000 to initiate romantic interest.

00:21:12.000 They want the man

00:21:13.000 to make the approach.

00:21:15.000 So I think that fire,

00:21:18.000 that desire,

00:21:19.000 when it's channeled

00:21:20.000 in the right ways

00:21:21.000 is a wonderful thing.

00:21:22.000 A kindness practice.

00:21:23.000 Having your shit together.

00:21:25.000 You know,

00:21:26.000 I was smoking too much pot

00:21:27.000 in my 20s

00:21:28.000 and my girlfriend said,

00:21:29.000 unless you stop smoking pot,

00:21:30.000 I'm no longer

00:21:31.000 going to be your girlfriend.

00:21:32.000 I think young men

00:21:33.000 need the guardrails

00:21:34.000 of a relationship

00:21:35.000 and convincing them

00:21:36.000 that the most wonderful thing

00:21:39.000 in life

00:21:40.000 is to create

00:21:41.000 a loving, secure household

00:21:43.000 and build it with a partner,

00:21:44.000 can be a same-sex partner.

00:21:46.000 Some people decide

00:21:47.000 not to have kids,

00:21:48.000 but 95% of us

00:21:50.000 are wired to have

00:21:51.000 a binary relationship

00:21:53.000 and would like to have kids.

00:21:54.000 I'm not saying

00:21:55.000 you can't be happy without kids,

00:21:56.000 but that desire,

00:21:58.000 that fire,

00:21:59.000 it's a feature,

00:22:01.000 not a bug.

00:22:02.000 And we've demonized it

00:22:03.000 and pathologized it

00:22:04.000 amongst young men.

00:22:05.000 I joke,

00:22:06.000 but I'm sort of serious,

00:22:08.000 that my advice

00:22:09.000 to young people

00:22:10.000 is to go out,

00:22:11.000 drink more,

00:22:12.000 make a series of bad decisions

00:22:13.000 that might pay off.

00:22:14.000 Mm.

00:22:15.000 Well, it's interesting

00:22:16.000 you mention that,

00:22:17.000 because everything you're saying

00:22:18.000 makes perfect sense.

00:22:19.000 I completely agree with it.

00:22:21.000 And it's predicated

00:22:22.000 on recognizing something

00:22:24.000 that I do feel

00:22:25.000 as a society

00:22:26.000 we've kind of covered up

00:22:27.000 for a while,

00:22:28.000 which is men and women

00:22:29.000 are very different.

00:22:30.000 Yeah, and even saying

00:22:31.000 that triggers some people,

00:22:32.000 because implicit

00:22:33.000 in that statement

00:22:35.000 from people

00:22:36.000 on the far left

00:22:37.000 is that means

00:22:38.000 you're discriminating

00:22:39.000 against the 5%

00:22:40.000 who are non-binary.

00:22:43.000 Not at all.

00:22:44.000 The non-binary community

00:22:46.000 deserves absolutely

00:22:47.000 as much respect

00:22:48.000 and opportunity

00:22:49.000 and grace

00:22:50.000 as the binary community,

00:22:51.000 in my view.

00:22:52.000 In addition,

00:22:53.000 some women,

00:22:54.000 masculinity

00:22:55.000 and femininity,

00:22:56.000 we've been celebrating

00:22:57.000 femininity,

00:22:58.000 it's been overdue,

00:22:59.000 it's a wonderful thing,

00:23:00.000 but we demonize masculinity.

00:23:02.000 There's no such thing

00:23:03.000 as toxic masculinity.

00:23:04.000 There's cruelty,

00:23:05.000 there's criminality,

00:23:06.000 there's abuse of power,

00:23:07.000 but true masculinity

00:23:08.000 are wonderful things.

00:23:09.000 Protect, provide, procreate.

00:23:11.000 And we've decided

00:23:12.000 that even acknowledging

00:23:14.000 that certain people

00:23:15.000 born as females

00:23:16.000 and certain people

00:23:17.000 born as males,

00:23:18.000 or the vast majority of them,

00:23:19.000 will have an easier time

00:23:20.000 learning into certain

00:23:21.000 characteristics and attributes.

00:23:22.000 And that's okay.

00:23:24.000 I think we need

00:23:25.000 to come out of the closet

00:23:26.000 and say,

00:23:27.000 women have an easier time

00:23:28.000 leaning into nurturing,

00:23:29.000 having better EQ,

00:23:31.000 being, you know,

00:23:32.000 quite frankly,

00:23:33.000 more engaged

00:23:34.000 and more thoughtful.

00:23:35.000 And if I were to say,

00:23:36.000 women, because of their EQ

00:23:37.000 and their maternal instincts,

00:23:38.000 make better managers,

00:23:39.000 and I believe that,

00:23:40.000 people nod and clap.

00:23:42.000 Women make better doctors.

00:23:43.000 There's more women

00:23:44.000 going to medical school,

00:23:45.000 there's a lot of rote memorization,

00:23:46.000 their brains are more wired

00:23:48.000 for that executive function,

00:23:49.000 they are better bedside manner.

00:23:51.000 Not all women,

00:23:52.000 that doesn't mean men

00:23:53.000 shouldn't have opportunities

00:23:54.000 to be nurses and surgeons,

00:23:55.000 but women will likely,

00:23:57.000 over time,

00:23:58.000 be recognized as having

00:23:59.000 the attributes to make

00:24:00.000 better doctors.

00:24:01.000 If I say those things,

00:24:02.000 people nod.

00:24:03.000 But if I say men

00:24:05.000 make better combat soldiers,

00:24:06.000 and on a risk-adjusted basis,

00:24:08.000 in general,

00:24:09.000 men oftentimes

00:24:10.000 make better entrepreneurs

00:24:11.000 because they're more

00:24:12.000 risk-aggressive,

00:24:13.000 which is, again,

00:24:14.000 isn't to say women

00:24:15.000 should have the same opportunities,

00:24:16.000 it's I don't feel safe

00:24:18.000 around you.

00:24:19.000 So they're just,

00:24:20.000 it's okay to acknowledge

00:24:22.000 we have differences.

00:24:23.000 And by the way,

00:24:24.000 women have sometimes,

00:24:25.000 masculinity and femininity

00:24:27.000 aren't sequestered

00:24:28.000 to people born as males

00:24:29.000 or females.

00:24:30.000 The majority of my friends

00:24:32.000 are actually,

00:24:33.000 my male friends,

00:24:34.000 are quite feminine.

00:24:35.000 I'm drawn to men

00:24:36.000 who, quite frankly,

00:24:37.000 are more nurturing

00:24:38.000 and kind of take care of me.

00:24:39.000 And I think a lot of men

00:24:41.000 bring wonderful feminine

00:24:42.000 characteristics.

00:24:43.000 My Pivot co-host

00:24:45.000 is one of my

00:24:46.000 masculine role models,

00:24:47.000 and it's Kara Swisher.

00:24:49.000 She brings a lot of strength

00:24:50.000 and protection,

00:24:52.000 kind of,

00:24:53.000 I think she brings

00:24:54.000 wonderful masculine attributes.

00:24:56.000 But I don't think there's,

00:24:57.000 what I'm trying to communicate

00:24:58.000 is young men need a code.

00:25:01.000 Every young person needs a code

00:25:02.000 to make decisions.

00:25:03.000 It's,

00:25:04.000 you're going to be thrown

00:25:05.000 hundreds of decisions every day.

00:25:06.000 It's difficult to make them

00:25:07.000 in the apps.

00:25:08.000 It's hard to read the label

00:25:09.000 from inside of the bottle.

00:25:10.000 So the question is,

00:25:11.000 where do you get that code?

00:25:13.000 You can get it from religion.

00:25:14.000 You can get it from your country,

00:25:15.000 I think.

00:25:16.000 You can get it from the military.

00:25:17.000 My first code was from work.

00:25:19.000 I worked at Morgan Stanley,

00:25:21.000 and they had a very strict approach

00:25:22.000 and a set of principles

00:25:23.000 around the way you approach work

00:25:25.000 and other people.

00:25:26.000 And that served as a good code for me.

00:25:28.000 I'd still have some of that

00:25:29.000 resonant in me.

00:25:30.000 But I think in a world

00:25:31.000 where there's an absence

00:25:32.000 of a code for young men

00:25:33.000 who are searching,

00:25:35.000 that masculinity

00:25:36.000 framed in an aspirational way

00:25:38.000 can be a great code.

00:25:39.000 And also,

00:25:40.000 most young men

00:25:41.000 have an easier time

00:25:43.000 leaning into masculine attributes,

00:25:45.000 just as most young women

00:25:46.000 will have an easier time

00:25:47.000 leaning into wonderful

00:25:48.000 feminine attributes.

00:25:50.000 So what I'm trying to get across

00:25:51.000 with this book is,

00:25:52.000 one,

00:25:53.000 let's acknowledge

00:25:54.000 that young men are struggling

00:25:55.000 and it's not their fault.

00:25:56.000 You want to be pissed off at me?

00:25:58.000 I was just walking by

00:26:00.000 about four or five years ago

00:26:02.000 in the same week,

00:26:03.000 I was asked to go on the board

00:26:04.000 of Tiffany and Tapestry,

00:26:06.000 which is a company on Coach

00:26:07.000 and a bunch of other retailers.

00:26:08.000 And literally on the dot,

00:26:09.000 the same day,

00:26:10.000 two weeks later,

00:26:11.000 it was the Me Too movement.

00:26:12.000 They called me and said,

00:26:13.000 we apologize.

00:26:14.000 We just had a meeting.

00:26:15.000 We're going to withdraw the invitation

00:26:17.000 for you to join our board

00:26:18.000 because we need to put a woman

00:26:19.000 on the board.

00:26:20.000 You know, 70% of our customers

00:26:22.000 at Tiffany are women

00:26:23.000 and we woke up.

00:26:24.000 I get it.

00:26:26.000 I get it.

00:26:27.000 Now, maybe that's not

00:26:28.000 a merit-based decision,

00:26:29.000 but I understand.

00:26:31.000 I've been on boards.

00:26:32.000 I understand the need

00:26:33.000 to broaden the perspective

00:26:34.000 and have something

00:26:35.000 resembling a board

00:26:36.000 that somewhat looks like

00:26:37.000 your customer base,

00:26:38.000 your employees.

00:26:39.000 I get it.

00:26:40.000 But should my privilege,

00:26:42.000 again,

00:26:43.000 be the weapon

00:26:45.000 or be a reason

00:26:46.000 to, you know,

00:26:48.000 have this lack of empathy

00:26:50.000 for young people.

00:26:51.000 So I'd like to think

00:26:52.000 that one,

00:26:53.000 young men are struggling.

00:26:54.000 We got to acknowledge this.

00:26:55.000 And two,

00:26:56.000 that masculinity

00:26:57.000 can serve as a code.

00:26:59.000 And my biggest fans

00:27:01.000 are men.

00:27:02.000 Young men come up,

00:27:03.000 you know, high five.

00:27:04.000 Thanks, Prop G.

00:27:05.000 My biggest supporters

00:27:06.000 and who have made this dialogue

00:27:07.000 much more productive

00:27:09.000 is simple mothers.

00:27:12.000 Of course.

00:27:13.000 And the dialogue

00:27:14.000 goes something like this.

00:27:15.000 I got three kids,

00:27:16.000 two daughters,

00:27:17.000 one son.

00:27:18.000 One daughter

00:27:19.000 in graduate school at Penn,

00:27:20.000 the others in PR in Chicago,

00:27:21.000 and my son's

00:27:22.000 in the basement

00:27:23.000 playing video games

00:27:24.000 and vaping.

00:27:25.000 The people who are seeing

00:27:26.000 this up close and personal

00:27:28.000 and withdraw the argument

00:27:29.000 from the bullshit narrative

00:27:30.000 or ideology

00:27:31.000 of the far right

00:27:32.000 or the far left

00:27:33.000 are mothers.

00:27:34.000 They're like,

00:27:35.000 you know,

00:27:36.000 regardless of the,

00:27:37.000 of the orthodoxy

00:27:38.000 or what's politically correct

00:27:39.000 or incorrect,

00:27:40.000 I see a huge difference

00:27:42.000 between the progress

00:27:44.000 and between the emotional health

00:27:46.000 of my daughters

00:27:47.000 and my sons.

00:27:48.000 And that's such a profound point

00:27:50.000 because I remember

00:27:51.000 when I was teaching,

00:27:52.000 I saw that pattern

00:27:53.000 being replicated

00:27:54.000 right across schools.

00:27:56.000 It didn't matter

00:27:57.000 if it was primary

00:27:58.000 or if it was secondary,

00:27:59.000 color, creed, and class.

00:28:00.000 A lot of the times

00:28:01.000 the girls would thrive,

00:28:02.000 the boys would struggle.

00:28:04.000 And we,

00:28:06.000 as a school,

00:28:07.000 and I'm ashamed to say it

00:28:09.000 because I kind of bought

00:28:10.000 into this as well.

00:28:11.000 We would just say,

00:28:12.000 you know, girls are doing better.

00:28:13.000 This isn't this brilliant.

00:28:14.000 You know,

00:28:15.000 this is something

00:28:16.000 to be celebrated.

00:28:17.000 Girls have been subjugated

00:28:18.000 for so long.

00:28:19.000 But I think what people

00:28:20.000 didn't realize at the time,

00:28:22.000 and I was guilty of this,

00:28:24.000 is that when you start seeing things

00:28:26.000 as a battle of the sexes

00:28:28.000 and you diminish one sex

00:28:30.000 and you think,

00:28:31.000 oh, this sex is doing really well.

00:28:32.000 This is great.

00:28:33.000 Girls are doing better than boys.

00:28:34.000 This is brilliant.

00:28:35.000 You go,

00:28:36.000 well, actually,

00:28:37.000 girls need boys

00:28:38.000 in just the same way

00:28:39.000 as boys need girls.

00:28:40.000 And eventually,

00:28:42.000 if you're diminishing

00:28:43.000 this sex,

00:28:44.000 then what you're doing

00:28:46.000 is you're actually harming

00:28:47.000 the long-term future of girls

00:28:49.000 because eventually

00:28:50.000 she's going to want

00:28:51.000 a strong man,

00:28:52.000 a man who is masculine,

00:28:53.000 who is a provider,

00:28:54.000 who will take care of her,

00:28:55.000 who is somebody

00:28:57.000 who will support her

00:28:58.000 through life.

00:28:59.000 But if you're diminishing them,

00:29:01.000 then you're going to damage

00:29:02.000 the girls in the long-term

00:29:03.000 as well.

00:29:04.000 Well, who wants more economically

00:29:05.000 and emotionally viable men?

00:29:07.000 Women.

00:29:08.000 The only thing where there's

00:29:09.000 some nuance,

00:29:10.000 or I might provide a little bit

00:29:11.000 of pushback,

00:29:12.000 is that there's a cartoon

00:29:13.000 of a woman in her 30s

00:29:14.000 who never found romantic love

00:29:16.000 and is sitting listening

00:29:17.000 to a Joan Baez album

00:29:19.000 in a big wolf sweater

00:29:20.000 looking out at a rainy day,

00:29:22.000 just miserable

00:29:23.000 that she hasn't found a man.

00:29:25.000 Mm-hmm.

00:29:26.000 That's a cartoon.

00:29:27.000 Uh, what you find is,

00:29:29.000 is that men need relationships

00:29:31.000 more than women.

00:29:32.000 When widows are happier

00:29:34.000 after their husband dies,

00:29:36.000 widowers are less happy.

00:29:38.000 Men in relationships

00:29:39.000 live four to seven years longer,

00:29:40.000 women two to four years longer.

00:29:42.000 If a man hasn't cohabitated

00:29:44.000 with a woman,

00:29:45.000 or been married by the time

00:29:46.000 he's 30,

00:29:47.000 uh, there's a one in three chance

00:29:49.000 he's gonna be a substance abuser.

00:29:51.000 In sum,

00:29:52.000 while women's loneliness

00:29:54.000 is, you know,

00:29:55.000 is upsetting,

00:29:56.000 I'm not saying it's not,

00:29:57.000 it's not a problem,

00:29:58.000 but it ends up that men

00:30:00.000 need relationships

00:30:01.000 much more than women.

00:30:02.000 And that is...

00:30:03.000 Except for one thing, Scott.

00:30:04.000 Sorry to interrupt.

00:30:05.000 Sure.

00:30:06.000 I'll push back on your pushback.

00:30:07.000 I said this, I think,

00:30:08.000 in our conversation

00:30:09.000 with Nick Freitas.

00:30:10.000 We are talking to a lot of women,

00:30:12.000 just privately,

00:30:13.000 no one wants to really say this

00:30:14.000 in public,

00:30:15.000 because it's unpleasant

00:30:16.000 and it's difficult.

00:30:17.000 Yeah.

00:30:18.000 Women do want kids.

00:30:19.000 The relationship side of it

00:30:20.000 is different.

00:30:21.000 Yeah.

00:30:22.000 And we are now seeing

00:30:23.000 my generation of women

00:30:24.000 coming to the end

00:30:25.000 of the period

00:30:26.000 when that was biologically viable.

00:30:27.000 Some of them suddenly realizing

00:30:29.000 that actually

00:30:30.000 that is something

00:30:31.000 they would have liked

00:30:32.000 to have done,

00:30:33.000 and they no longer

00:30:34.000 have that opportunity.

00:30:35.000 And so,

00:30:36.000 maybe they're not sitting there

00:30:37.000 upset that they don't have a man,

00:30:39.000 but I do think

00:30:41.000 a lot of women

00:30:42.000 are starting to get

00:30:43.000 to the point

00:30:44.000 where they regret

00:30:45.000 the things that they used to believe

00:30:46.000 because it's led them

00:30:47.000 to a place

00:30:48.000 where they don't have kids.

00:30:49.000 I think that being taught,

00:30:51.000 just pour all your energy

00:30:52.000 into work

00:30:53.000 and you don't need a man

00:30:54.000 is not a healthy narrative either.

00:30:56.000 And I do think there's a lot of,

00:30:57.000 I regret not having more kids.

00:30:59.000 My biggest mistake,

00:31:00.000 I wish I'd had a third kid,

00:31:01.000 I wish I had a daughter

00:31:02.000 because now that I'm getting older

00:31:03.000 I recognize it's daughters

00:31:04.000 that take care of their dads.

00:31:05.000 That's unfair, gay men.

00:31:07.000 There you go.

00:31:08.000 So, I don't want to,

00:31:10.000 I think you're right,

00:31:11.000 I think there is,

00:31:13.000 but what the conservatives,

00:31:14.000 the conservative movement has said,

00:31:17.000 look,

00:31:18.000 and they've pointed out correctly,

00:31:20.000 look women,

00:31:21.000 this isn't good for you.

00:31:22.000 I agree.

00:31:23.000 It's especially bad for men.

00:31:25.000 And I'll give you an example.

00:31:27.000 I've been thinking a lot about,

00:31:29.000 I'm very,

00:31:30.000 I have two big charities,

00:31:31.000 public schools,

00:31:32.000 and then teen suicide prevention.

00:31:35.000 And so I've learned a decent amount

00:31:36.000 about suicide

00:31:37.000 or death by suicide.

00:31:38.000 You're not even supposed to say suicide.

00:31:40.000 You're supposed to say death by suicide.

00:31:42.000 Like that's going to change

00:31:43.000 anything.

00:31:44.000 Anyway.

00:31:45.000 Oh, I walk by some unhoused outside.

00:31:48.000 That'll solve the problem.

00:31:50.000 But the period where a man is most inclined

00:31:55.000 or most prone to self-harm

00:31:58.000 and suicidal ideation

00:31:59.000 is the year after he gets divorced.

00:32:02.000 And what it ends up is that divorce

00:32:05.000 is harder usually on men than women.

00:32:07.000 It's harder on women economically.

00:32:09.000 It's harder on men emotionally.

00:32:11.000 And there's also,

00:32:13.000 I mean,

00:32:15.000 they're just,

00:32:16.000 most of the data shows

00:32:17.000 that without a relationship,

00:32:19.000 a woman is sad

00:32:21.000 and regretful.

00:32:22.000 And without a relationship,

00:32:23.000 a man is quite frankly,

00:32:24.000 dangerous to himself.

00:32:26.000 That men need,

00:32:28.000 a single man at 35

00:32:30.000 is much more inclined

00:32:33.000 to be a substance abuser,

00:32:35.000 much more inclined to engage in self-harm

00:32:37.000 than a woman,

00:32:38.000 a single woman at the age of 35.

00:32:40.000 So while I absolutely think,

00:32:42.000 yeah,

00:32:43.000 there's probably a lot of women

00:32:44.000 who wake up and think,

00:32:45.000 I was given this very progressive,

00:32:46.000 you know,

00:32:47.000 outline,

00:32:48.000 and it hasn't paid off

00:32:49.000 the way that I'd hoped.

00:32:51.000 What we don't talk enough about

00:32:53.000 is the fact that,

00:32:54.000 quite frankly,

00:32:55.000 a simple fact,

00:32:56.000 and I have research to back this up,

00:32:58.000 men need relationships more than women.

00:32:59.000 I'm not saying it's,

00:33:01.000 I'm not saying women are worse off

00:33:02.000 without a relationship.

00:33:03.000 Men are much worse off without a relationship.

00:33:06.000 Young men need guardrails.

00:33:08.000 They need it in the form of male mentorship,

00:33:10.000 and they needed a relationship

00:33:12.000 as a fantastic guardrail for a man.

00:33:15.000 So, we talk a lot about this image

00:33:18.000 of a woman who's sad.

00:33:20.000 I get it.

00:33:21.000 It's bad,

00:33:22.000 but it's worse for men.

00:33:24.000 And we don't talk about it.

00:33:25.000 Look,

00:33:27.000 I'm going to tell you something.

00:33:28.000 If you learn an idioma

00:33:30.000 just with books,

00:33:31.000 you'll get stuck.

00:33:33.000 What really marks the difference

00:33:35.000 is to listen to how people speak

00:33:38.000 in real contexts.

00:33:40.000 If you didn't understand that,

00:33:42.000 but you want to,

00:33:43.000 then listen up.

00:33:44.000 If you did,

00:33:45.000 apologies.

00:33:46.000 I'm about to repeat myself.

00:33:47.000 If you learn a language

00:33:48.000 only from a book,

00:33:49.000 you're going to hit a ceiling.

00:33:51.000 What actually changes everything

00:33:53.000 is hearing how people really speak

00:33:55.000 in real situations.

00:33:57.000 That's why I genuinely recommend LingoPie.

00:34:00.000 I'm fluent in Spanish,

00:34:01.000 and immersion is what got me there.

00:34:03.000 Not textbooks.

00:34:05.000 LingoPie is built around that same idea.

00:34:07.000 You learn by watching real TV shows

00:34:10.000 and movies.

00:34:11.000 And while you're watching,

00:34:12.000 the subtitles are interactive.

00:34:14.000 You can click any word

00:34:16.000 for an instant translation,

00:34:18.000 save it automatically,

00:34:19.000 and later review it with flashcards,

00:34:21.000 quizzes and pronunciation tools.

00:34:23.000 LingoPie turns passive watching

00:34:25.000 into active learning

00:34:27.000 without making it feel like studying.

00:34:29.000 And I'll give you an example

00:34:30.000 of what I've been watching.

00:34:32.000 There's a Venezuelan adaptation

00:34:33.000 of Wuthering Heights on there

00:34:35.000 called Cumbres Borrascosas.

00:34:37.000 So yes,

00:34:38.000 I'm quietly working my way

00:34:39.000 through a Spanish language

00:34:41.000 Gothic romance.

00:34:42.000 It's dramatic, intense,

00:34:43.000 very emotional.

00:34:44.000 Bit like my love life.

00:34:45.000 And it's brilliant for picking up

00:34:47.000 the kinds of expressions

00:34:48.000 and turns of phrase

00:34:50.000 you never meet in a textbook.

00:34:52.000 You start noticing

00:34:53.000 how people actually argue,

00:34:54.000 confess things, exaggerate,

00:34:56.000 all in real Spanish,

00:34:58.000 at full speed.

00:34:59.000 They've got 3,000 plus shows

00:35:01.000 and movies across 14 languages.

00:35:04.000 And you can use it

00:35:05.000 on your phone, laptop or TV,

00:35:07.000 which makes sticking with it

00:35:09.000 much easier.

00:35:10.000 And consistency is the whole game.

00:35:12.000 If you want to learn a language

00:35:14.000 the way people actually speak it,

00:35:16.000 click the link in the description

00:35:18.000 for 55% off an annual plan.

00:35:21.000 If you want to understand the language,

00:35:23.000 the way it's actually spoken,

00:35:25.000 this is one of the best ways to do it

00:35:27.000 I've ever seen.

00:35:28.000 So once again,

00:35:29.000 click the link in the description

00:35:31.000 or go to learn.lingopie.com

00:35:34.000 slash trigonometry.

00:35:36.000 Got PC Optimum points?

00:35:39.000 Visit Shoppers Drug Mart

00:35:40.000 for the bonus redemption event

00:35:41.000 and get more for your points.

00:35:43.000 Friday, March 6th to Wednesday,

00:35:44.000 March 11th.

00:35:45.000 Valid in-store and online.

00:35:47.000 And what you've spoken about

00:35:52.000 very eloquently, Scott,

00:35:54.000 and this ties into the conversation,

00:35:56.000 is how we just give kids a smartphone

00:35:59.000 at an age when the reality is

00:36:02.000 no one should have access to a smartphone.

00:36:04.000 And then we wonder why we're seeing

00:36:06.000 these narratives being propagated

00:36:09.000 amongst men.

00:36:10.000 You know, incel culture,

00:36:11.000 it's not on the right,

00:36:12.000 but incel culture on one side,

00:36:14.000 on the other side, you know,

00:36:17.000 you see this kind of style of,

00:36:20.000 how can I put this,

00:36:22.000 this style of, you know,

00:36:23.000 approaching women

00:36:25.000 or seeing women in a certain way.

00:36:27.000 And you go,

00:36:28.000 this comes from spending too much time

00:36:31.000 online and not enough time

00:36:33.000 in the real world.

00:36:34.000 So this is a multidimensional issue.

00:36:36.000 At the most basic level,

00:36:38.000 men have immature prefrontal cortex.

00:36:41.000 Our executive function,

00:36:43.000 part of our brain,

00:36:44.000 doesn't catch up to a woman's

00:36:45.000 until the age of 25.

00:36:46.000 Two seniors in high school

00:36:48.000 applying to college.

00:36:49.000 Effectively, the girl,

00:36:50.000 who is a senior,

00:36:52.000 is competing against a 10th grade girl

00:36:54.000 when he's competing

00:36:55.000 against another 18 year old boy.

00:36:56.000 They are just more mature, right?

00:36:59.000 They have a better sense of,

00:37:00.000 oh, I should stop playing video games

00:37:01.000 and study now.

00:37:02.000 They're just,

00:37:03.000 their brains are literally more mature.

00:37:05.000 And you have kids.

00:37:06.000 Do you have kids?

00:37:07.000 No, but I taught for 12 years,

00:37:09.000 so I know a bit about kids.

00:37:10.000 So it is so striking,

00:37:12.000 and Constantine,

00:37:13.000 well, you can both comment on this.

00:37:15.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:37:16.000 When my son has a party

00:37:19.000 and he's 15,

00:37:20.000 the boys are nice,

00:37:21.000 but they can't make eye contact.

00:37:23.000 They're a little bit dopey.

00:37:24.000 They're fine.

00:37:25.000 They're boys.

00:37:26.000 There are some girls

00:37:28.000 at the age of 15

00:37:29.000 who could be the junior senator

00:37:31.000 from Pennsylvania.

00:37:32.000 Right.

00:37:33.000 I feel like,

00:37:34.000 with a right pantsuit,

00:37:35.000 they could be in Parliament.

00:37:37.000 I mean,

00:37:38.000 they're so incredibly mature,

00:37:40.000 even physically.

00:37:41.000 Hello, Mr. Galloway,

00:37:42.000 what a lovely home you have.

00:37:44.000 I mean,

00:37:45.000 what is the effect

00:37:46.000 of the non-dom on you?

00:37:47.000 I mean, these kids are like,

00:37:49.000 and then the boys are like,

00:37:50.000 I don't know.

00:37:51.000 And it's not universal,

00:37:52.000 but there's definitely

00:37:54.000 a demarcation now

00:37:55.000 to your point about online.

00:37:57.000 America right now

00:37:59.000 is a giant bet on AI.

00:38:00.000 All of our GDP growth,

00:38:02.000 all of our stock market growth

00:38:03.000 has been fueled

00:38:04.000 by 10 companies.

00:38:05.000 77% of the earnings growth,

00:38:07.000 77% of that 16%

00:38:09.000 of the increase in S&P

00:38:11.000 has been the earnings growth

00:38:12.000 of 10 companies.

00:38:14.000 And those companies

00:38:15.000 do a lot of things.

00:38:16.000 But two of the core central things

00:38:18.000 they do is try and play

00:38:20.000 on flaws in our instincts,

00:38:21.000 our insecurities,

00:38:22.000 our desire to make a quick buck,

00:38:24.000 our desire to have

00:38:25.000 more mating opportunities

00:38:26.000 and have a reasonable facsimile

00:38:28.000 of that through porn.

00:38:29.000 We get angry and anxious.

00:38:31.000 So where I'm going to figure out

00:38:32.000 your political leanings,

00:38:33.000 take you further

00:38:34.000 and further that way

00:38:35.000 and then show you stuff

00:38:36.000 that enrages you

00:38:37.000 such that you start hating

00:38:38.000 the other side

00:38:39.000 when you used to not really,

00:38:40.000 you know,

00:38:41.000 used to disagree with them,

00:38:42.000 but not hate them.

00:38:43.000 I can't remember.

00:38:44.000 There's an absence.

00:38:46.000 There's another reason

00:38:47.000 young women are going

00:38:48.000 more progressive.

00:38:50.000 Men are going

00:38:51.000 slightly more conservative,

00:38:52.000 but it's yet another reason

00:38:54.000 they're not mating

00:38:55.000 because women aren't interested

00:38:57.000 get turned off by men

00:38:58.000 who are conservative.

00:38:59.000 Can you remember

00:39:00.000 the political leanings

00:39:01.000 of anyone you dated

00:39:02.000 when we were dating?

00:39:03.000 We didn't talk about this.

00:39:05.000 We didn't care.

00:39:06.000 It just wasn't,

00:39:07.000 it's like yet another reason

00:39:08.000 that people aren't hooking up.

00:39:11.000 So what you have

00:39:12.000 is the most godlike technology,

00:39:14.000 the most deepest resource companies

00:39:15.000 in the world,

00:39:16.000 trying to figure out any way

00:39:18.000 to keep you on your phone.

00:39:20.000 And what's worse

00:39:21.000 than keeping you on your phone,

00:39:23.000 it's keeping you away

00:39:24.000 from your friends.

00:39:26.000 It's keeping you away

00:39:27.000 from your wife.

00:39:28.000 It's keeping you away

00:39:29.000 from your kids.

00:39:30.000 So we're mammals.

00:39:32.000 And it's pretty straightforward.

00:39:34.000 The less time we spend

00:39:35.000 with others,

00:39:36.000 the worse our life is.

00:39:38.000 Put an orca in a tank alone

00:39:40.000 and see what happens.

00:39:41.000 Right?

00:39:42.000 The worst thing you can do

00:39:43.000 to a human is put them

00:39:44.000 in solitary confinement.

00:39:45.000 Leave your dog alone

00:39:47.000 without another dog

00:39:48.000 or another human

00:39:49.000 and sees what happens.

00:39:50.000 So what big tech is doing

00:39:52.000 really, really well,

00:39:54.000 which is tearing

00:39:55.000 at the fabric of society,

00:39:56.000 is preying on young people,

00:39:58.000 girls and boys.

00:39:59.000 But unfortunately,

00:40:00.000 boys are more prone to this

00:40:01.000 because they have

00:40:02.000 this DOPA addiction

00:40:03.000 at an earlier age.

00:40:04.000 It's trying to convince them,

00:40:06.000 why figure out

00:40:07.000 the pecking order of friends

00:40:08.000 when you have Reddit and Discord?

00:40:09.000 Why, you know,

00:40:11.000 you don't need to go to work.

00:40:12.000 You don't need to take risks

00:40:14.000 in real life.

00:40:15.000 Real life relationships are hard.

00:40:18.000 The...

00:40:19.000 I'm gonna make an assertion here.

00:40:20.000 The best thing in your life

00:40:21.000 is the best thing in your life.

00:40:23.000 And that is relationships.

00:40:25.000 And the one thing

00:40:26.000 that was common

00:40:27.000 across all those relationships

00:40:28.000 was that they were really

00:40:29.000 fucking hard.

00:40:30.000 It is hard to establish

00:40:31.000 the pecking order

00:40:32.000 and friends

00:40:33.000 and not be jealous

00:40:35.000 and call a dude

00:40:36.000 and say, hey, do you wanna go

00:40:37.000 watch the football game

00:40:38.000 and have a beer?

00:40:39.000 It is really hard

00:40:40.000 to navigate all the bullshit

00:40:41.000 in a corporation

00:40:42.000 and have bosses

00:40:43.000 that are not as smart as you

00:40:45.000 and get memos

00:40:46.000 from corporate

00:40:47.000 on things that make

00:40:48.000 no goddamn sense

00:40:49.000 and occasionally go into work

00:40:50.000 when you have nothing to do

00:40:51.000 just for FaceTime.

00:40:53.000 So, I know.

00:40:55.000 Let's trade stocks

00:40:56.000 and let's buy crypto.

00:40:58.000 And it's also trying to tell you,

00:41:00.000 you don't need to go through

00:41:01.000 the humiliation

00:41:02.000 of a romantic

00:41:03.000 or a sexual relationship.

00:41:04.000 And this is the thing.

00:41:05.000 All those things

00:41:06.000 are goddamn hard.

00:41:07.000 And that's what real victory is.

00:41:08.000 It is really hard

00:41:09.000 to find someone

00:41:10.000 to be married to

00:41:11.000 for 23 years

00:41:12.000 and have kids.

00:41:13.000 That is really hard.

00:41:14.000 And the reward is immense.

00:41:16.000 That's where I find

00:41:18.000 most men get the greatest

00:41:19.000 level of purpose.

00:41:20.000 So, what we're saying

00:41:21.000 to young men is, no, no, no, no.

00:41:22.000 Ignore that stuff.

00:41:23.000 Ignore friends.

00:41:24.000 Ignore work.

00:41:25.000 Ignore mating.

00:41:26.000 You can have a reasonable,

00:41:27.000 frictionless version

00:41:28.000 of that online.

00:41:29.000 And then you wake up at 30

00:41:31.000 and I believe a lot

00:41:32.000 of these men are obese,

00:41:33.000 anxious,

00:41:34.000 have no skills

00:41:35.000 when it comes to work

00:41:36.000 or friendship

00:41:37.000 or romantic relationships.

00:41:39.000 And they're exceptionally depressed.

00:41:41.000 And they never get a chance

00:41:43.000 to recognize real victory.

00:41:46.000 What it means.

00:41:47.000 This shit.

00:41:48.000 This shit.

00:41:49.000 It's been so hard raising kids.

00:41:51.000 I mean, it's been...

00:41:53.000 Every day I'm like,

00:41:54.000 am I any good at this?

00:41:56.000 I can't tell you

00:41:57.000 what assholes my boys can be.

00:41:59.000 I mean, they are terrorists.

00:42:01.000 They're constantly assessing

00:42:02.000 the household

00:42:03.000 for vulnerabilities

00:42:04.000 to strike when we're

00:42:05.000 our weakness.

00:42:06.000 I feel so...

00:42:07.000 There's been moments

00:42:08.000 where I've felt

00:42:09.000 so much shame

00:42:10.000 and insecurity

00:42:11.000 because I felt like

00:42:12.000 I wasn't making enough money

00:42:13.000 and couldn't support my kids

00:42:14.000 at the level I wanted to.

00:42:16.000 And it just made me...

00:42:17.000 It just destroyed me.

00:42:19.000 It's been so hard.

00:42:20.000 And the only moments

00:42:22.000 I ever feel like

00:42:23.000 I have meaning and purpose

00:42:24.000 on this world

00:42:25.000 and I can leave

00:42:26.000 and feel like I checked

00:42:27.000 something resembling a box

00:42:28.000 is when I have those moments

00:42:29.000 with my son

00:42:30.000 and I get the chance

00:42:31.000 to raise them

00:42:32.000 with someone I love.

00:42:33.000 And I worry that there's

00:42:34.000 a ton of young men

00:42:35.000 who are never ever

00:42:36.000 going to experience that

00:42:37.000 because big tech

00:42:38.000 has attached 40% of the S&P

00:42:40.000 to market value

00:42:42.000 by sequestering us

00:42:43.000 from the rest

00:42:44.000 of our relationships.

00:42:46.000 So I'm not saying

00:42:47.000 they're innately evil people,

00:42:49.000 but unfortunately

00:42:50.000 these algorithms

00:42:51.000 and these companies

00:42:52.000 have figured out

00:42:53.000 there is money

00:42:54.000 in sequestering people

00:42:55.000 from their relationships

00:42:56.000 and getting them really angry

00:42:57.000 at everybody else,

00:42:58.000 blaming immigrants

00:42:59.000 for their economic problems,

00:43:01.000 blaming women

00:43:02.000 for their romantic problems,

00:43:03.000 blaming the other side

00:43:04.000 for everything that's wrong.

00:43:06.000 So unfortunately,

00:43:08.000 these companies

00:43:09.000 are the wedge,

00:43:10.000 are the cudgel

00:43:11.000 between people

00:43:12.000 and especially young men

00:43:14.000 and relationships

00:43:15.000 and what I would call

00:43:16.000 a healthy, rewarding life.

00:43:17.000 I think one of the greatest tricks

00:43:18.000 social media companies

00:43:19.000 ever played

00:43:20.000 was the idea

00:43:21.000 that this app

00:43:23.000 that you were going to go on

00:43:24.000 was about connection.

00:43:25.000 It was going to help you

00:43:26.000 to connect with other people.

00:43:28.000 That's what Facebook

00:43:29.000 inevitably was.

00:43:30.000 Connect with your friends

00:43:31.000 all around the world.

00:43:32.000 It's one of the greatest lies

00:43:34.000 we've ever been sold.

00:43:35.000 Well, is it though?

00:43:37.000 I mean, look,

00:43:38.000 I don't know about you.

00:43:39.000 I would say

00:43:40.000 the way I have come to you,

00:43:41.000 so I mean,

00:43:42.000 now look,

00:43:43.000 I have a pretty big following,

00:43:44.000 so it's perhaps

00:43:45.000 a different story,

00:43:46.000 but it's a way for me

00:43:47.000 to connect with people

00:43:48.000 that then we speak to

00:43:50.000 and become friends with,

00:43:51.000 right?

00:43:52.000 Yeah.

00:43:53.000 So, and also,

00:43:54.000 I think as well,

00:43:55.000 it's important that we,

00:43:56.000 we also in this conversation

00:43:57.000 talk about solutions

00:43:58.000 because the world is the way

00:44:00.000 the world is.

00:44:01.000 Yep.

00:44:02.000 And our great grandparents

00:44:03.000 and great grandfathers

00:44:04.000 face some way bigger problems.

00:44:05.000 Yep.

00:44:06.000 Than the,

00:44:07.000 you've got this phone

00:44:08.000 with porn on it.

00:44:09.000 Like that,

00:44:10.000 that's relatively minor

00:44:11.000 to the Germans are invading,

00:44:12.000 right?

00:44:13.000 So,

00:44:14.000 I guess what I would say

00:44:15.000 is I think partly

00:44:16.000 it's about,

00:44:17.000 actually,

00:44:18.000 I would argue,

00:44:19.000 a failure of parenting as well

00:44:20.000 because,

00:44:21.000 and look,

00:44:22.000 you know,

00:44:23.000 it's easy to say parents

00:44:24.000 should have known better.

00:44:25.000 Like my wife,

00:44:26.000 for example,

00:44:27.000 is a complete screen naughty.

00:44:28.000 My three year old

00:44:29.000 has never seen a screen.

00:44:30.000 Yeah.

00:44:31.000 The only thing he does

00:44:32.000 with,

00:44:33.000 with a phone is,

00:44:34.000 he brings it to us

00:44:35.000 and we go,

00:44:36.000 thank you,

00:44:37.000 and put it in our pocket.

00:44:38.000 We all have to begin to realize

00:44:40.000 this is the world

00:44:41.000 we live in.

00:44:42.000 We live in a world of screens,

00:44:43.000 we live in a world

00:44:44.000 of social media,

00:44:45.000 and we are all going to have

00:44:47.000 to do something about this

00:44:49.000 that allows us

00:44:50.000 to live better lives.

00:44:51.000 And, you know,

00:44:52.000 I think it's important perhaps

00:44:53.000 for you to talk to us about

00:44:55.000 what is the man code?

00:44:57.000 How do you be a man?

00:44:58.000 How do you have a good life

00:44:59.000 as a man?

00:45:00.000 How do you confront the fact

00:45:02.000 that every human being

00:45:03.000 ultimately faces a choice?

00:45:05.000 You either go with comfort

00:45:07.000 and become a loser,

00:45:08.000 or you learn to accept discomfort

00:45:11.000 and you win.

00:45:12.000 So just to acknowledge your point,

00:45:14.000 if we had a red button

00:45:16.000 that you could push

00:45:17.000 and big tech would disappear,

00:45:18.000 I wouldn't push it.

00:45:19.000 Right.

00:45:20.000 I would argue that big tech

00:45:21.000 is a net good.

00:45:22.000 Right.

00:45:23.000 Creates tremendous economic value.

00:45:24.000 I found you on social media.

00:45:26.000 Right.

00:45:27.000 People come up to me on the street

00:45:28.000 and they could not be,

00:45:29.000 do you find this?

00:45:30.000 Online,

00:45:31.000 I find people so angry

00:45:33.000 and vile and aggressive,

00:45:34.000 in real life,

00:45:36.000 I can't get over

00:45:37.000 how lovely people are.

00:45:39.000 Right.

00:45:40.000 I can go anywhere in the world

00:45:41.000 and 99% of the people

00:45:43.000 who approach me,

00:45:44.000 even if they say I disagree

00:45:45.000 with your views on Israel,

00:45:46.000 whatever,

00:45:47.000 they want to have a thoughtful conversation,

00:45:48.000 or they come up

00:45:49.000 and they say something really nice

00:45:50.000 that makes me feel better

00:45:51.000 about my day.

00:45:52.000 I've made a lot of money

00:45:53.000 using social media.

00:45:55.000 I FaceTime my sons every night

00:45:57.000 and it makes me feel more connected

00:45:59.000 to them.

00:46:00.000 These are,

00:46:01.000 I would not press the button.

00:46:02.000 The problem with saying

00:46:04.000 they're a net good

00:46:05.000 is the word net.

00:46:07.000 And,

00:46:08.000 what I mean is,

00:46:09.000 we can have nuance.

00:46:10.000 Yeah.

00:46:11.000 So,

00:46:12.000 I think fossil fuels

00:46:13.000 are a net good for the world.

00:46:14.000 Mm-hmm.

00:46:15.000 The greatest arbitrage in history

00:46:16.000 is fossil fuels.

00:46:17.000 But that doesn't mean

00:46:18.000 we don't have emissions standards.

00:46:19.000 Now,

00:46:20.000 we can have an argument

00:46:21.000 around what those standards should be,

00:46:22.000 but we're just not going to let,

00:46:23.000 you know,

00:46:24.000 it's probably important

00:46:25.000 that we have rules that says,

00:46:26.000 Ford,

00:46:27.000 you can pour mercury into the river.

00:46:29.000 And if you don't have laws,

00:46:31.000 they need to pour mercury

00:46:32.000 into the river.

00:46:33.000 Otherwise,

00:46:34.000 General Motors and Chrysler

00:46:35.000 will and have a cost advantage.

00:46:37.000 We,

00:46:38.000 pesticides

00:46:39.000 are a net good.

00:46:40.000 Mm-hmm.

00:46:41.000 But we still have an FDA,

00:46:42.000 that's the Food and Drug Administration

00:46:43.000 here for you foreigners,

00:46:44.000 saying, okay,

00:46:45.000 one of the,

00:46:46.000 by the way,

00:46:47.000 one of the first things I noticed

00:46:48.000 about London is that food rots.

00:46:49.000 Yeah.

00:46:50.000 And I think it's because

00:46:51.000 we have higher standards.

00:46:52.000 Yeah.

00:46:53.000 And then all of a sudden

00:46:54.000 it freaks me out now

00:46:55.000 that I can buy something

00:46:56.000 and seven weeks later

00:46:57.000 it's still edible here in the US.

00:46:58.000 I'm like, okay,

00:46:59.000 maybe that's not a good thing.

00:47:00.000 Anyways.

00:47:01.000 So for example,

00:47:02.000 let's move to some solutions.

00:47:04.000 I don't think anyone

00:47:05.000 under the age of 16

00:47:07.000 should be on social media.

00:47:09.000 I don't think any synthetic relationship

00:47:10.000 should be allowed

00:47:11.000 for anyone under the age of 18.

00:47:13.000 I don't think we should have

00:47:14.000 phones in schools.

00:47:15.000 I think we should remove

00:47:16.000 Section 230 protection

00:47:17.000 for algorithmically elevated content,

00:47:20.000 right?

00:47:21.000 Uh,

00:47:22.000 such that if you are in fact

00:47:23.000 putting out content

00:47:24.000 that leads to a greater self harm

00:47:28.000 and you're elevating that content.

00:47:29.000 I don't believe in censorship.

00:47:30.000 I don't think

00:47:31.000 if someone wants to say

00:47:32.000 MRNA vaccines alter DNA,

00:47:34.000 I think they should be able

00:47:35.000 to say it.

00:47:36.000 The problem is,

00:47:37.000 is when the algorithms go,

00:47:39.000 Oh, this is pissing off people

00:47:40.000 and they're commenting.

00:47:42.000 And every comment is another Nissan ad,

00:47:44.000 which is more shareholder value.

00:47:45.000 So let's take this incendiary

00:47:47.000 and sometimes more novel content

00:47:50.000 and let's elevate it artificially.

00:47:53.000 My view is if you elevate content

00:47:56.000 artificially,

00:47:57.000 algorithmically,

00:47:58.000 you've now decided

00:47:59.000 you're a media company.

00:48:00.000 And I don't see why

00:48:01.000 these quote unquote

00:48:02.000 nascent platforms,

00:48:03.000 which is what they were called

00:48:04.000 in the 1997 legislation,

00:48:06.000 should not be subject

00:48:07.000 to the same liability

00:48:09.000 you're subject to.

00:48:10.000 If you started saying

00:48:12.000 that this member of parliament

00:48:13.000 is a Nazi

00:48:15.000 and he's a physical threat

00:48:17.000 to our safety

00:48:18.000 and you published his address

00:48:20.000 and someone showed up

00:48:22.000 and committed violence

00:48:23.000 against that person,

00:48:24.000 this podcast would be

00:48:25.000 in a world of hurt.

00:48:26.000 But if you say it online,

00:48:28.000 if you say it on a platform,

00:48:30.000 an online platform,

00:48:31.000 they are not subject

00:48:32.000 to the same standards

00:48:33.000 as the rest of media.

00:48:34.000 So there are, in my opinion,

00:48:36.000 common sense solutions,

00:48:38.000 but the incumbents

00:48:40.000 want to weaponize

00:48:42.000 what I would call

00:48:43.000 the illusion of complexity.

00:48:44.000 All these problems

00:48:45.000 are unsolvable, right?

00:48:46.000 We couldn't,

00:48:47.000 we would go out of business

00:48:48.000 if you remove 230.

00:48:49.000 Well, if you removed it

00:48:50.000 for algorithmically

00:48:51.000 elevated content,

00:48:52.000 you wouldn't go out of business.

00:48:53.000 And the most,

00:48:55.000 when,

00:48:56.000 when the January 6th riots happen,

00:48:58.000 you know,

00:48:59.000 what happened,

00:49:00.000 or let me go back,

00:49:01.000 News Corp gets fined $750 billion,

00:49:03.000 $750 million by saying

00:49:05.000 the voting machines in the U.S.

00:49:07.000 were weaponized

00:49:08.000 by the Venezuelan government.

00:49:09.000 Not true.

00:49:10.000 I'm Venezuelan.

00:49:11.000 We can't even,

00:49:12.000 we can't even run a country,

00:49:13.000 let alone weaponize an election.

00:49:15.000 Weaponize, yeah.

00:49:16.000 There you go.

00:49:17.000 It wasn't true.

00:49:18.000 And they knew it wasn't true,

00:49:19.000 but they put talking points

00:49:20.000 in front of their hosts

00:49:21.000 and said,

00:49:22.000 promote this theory

00:49:23.000 because we think it'll inflame

00:49:24.000 and engage our audience.

00:49:25.000 Wait, hold on.

00:49:26.000 Do you have any evidence

00:49:27.000 for that claim, Scott?

00:49:28.000 That they did it

00:49:29.000 for that reason?

00:49:30.000 Well,

00:49:31.000 a judge and a jury of their peers

00:49:33.000 found that to be the case

00:49:34.000 and awarded Smartmatic $750 million.

00:49:37.000 They,

00:49:38.000 so I,

00:49:39.000 I didn't follow as closely as you.

00:49:40.000 I'm not disputing what you're saying.

00:49:41.000 I'm just asking.

00:49:42.000 Yep.

00:49:43.000 So, in that case,

00:49:44.000 when they promoted this theory,

00:49:46.000 was it established that they did so

00:49:49.000 to get attention?

00:49:50.000 It wasn't to influence the result

00:49:52.000 of the election, for example.

00:49:53.000 It was specifically to get attention.

00:49:55.000 The legal ruling

00:49:56.000 falls under defamation and slander,

00:49:58.000 and that is,

00:49:59.000 they knew they were saying something

00:50:00.000 that wasn't true,

00:50:01.000 wasn't true,

00:50:02.000 and that that thing that wasn't true

00:50:04.000 ended up having economic harm

00:50:06.000 on Smartmatic.

00:50:07.000 And so Smartmatic said,

00:50:08.000 you knew this wasn't true,

00:50:09.000 and also,

00:50:10.000 you knew it would hurt me economically.

00:50:13.000 So, there are laws against that.

00:50:15.000 So, if you say something,

00:50:16.000 if you say,

00:50:17.000 if you start spreading rumors

00:50:19.000 rumors that I'm a pedophile,

00:50:21.000 and I,

00:50:22.000 all of a sudden,

00:50:23.000 my speaking engagements go down,

00:50:24.000 and there's no evidence of that,

00:50:25.000 you are liable for defamation,

00:50:27.000 and can,

00:50:28.000 and have to economically compensate me.

00:50:30.000 I get that part.

00:50:31.000 What I'm asking,

00:50:32.000 the specific thing

00:50:33.000 I'm trying to tease out is,

00:50:35.000 I got the impression,

00:50:36.000 correct me if I'm wrong,

00:50:37.000 that you're saying,

00:50:38.000 this was done to get clicks effectively,

00:50:40.000 right?

00:50:41.000 Well, I think...

00:50:42.000 I'm wondering,

00:50:43.000 do you know that?

00:50:44.000 Because my instinct would be,

00:50:45.000 it might be to influence the outcome

00:50:47.000 of who ends up president.

00:50:48.000 That might be...

00:50:49.000 Oh, that's interesting.

00:50:50.000 Do you see what I'm saying?

00:50:51.000 One thing that doesn't get talked about enough

00:50:54.000 is how demanding modern diets

00:50:56.000 can be on digestion,

00:50:57.000 especially if you're eating higher protein meals.

00:51:00.000 So, I've started using Masszymes by BioOptimizers,

00:51:04.000 a full-spectrum digestive enzyme formula

00:51:07.000 designed to support how your body breaks down food.

00:51:11.000 BioOptimizers has been around since 2004,

00:51:14.000 and they're still a founder-owned company.

00:51:16.000 Their whole thing is quality and formulation first.

00:51:20.000 They've even got their own in-house lab team,

00:51:23.000 and they test raw ingredients,

00:51:25.000 because in supplements,

00:51:26.000 that part matters more than most people realize.

00:51:30.000 Masszymes is their digestive enzyme product,

00:51:33.000 and what sets it apart

00:51:35.000 is that it's a full-spectrum blend.

00:51:37.000 It includes 18 enzymes

00:51:39.000 that support the breakdown of proteins,

00:51:41.000 fats, carbohydrates, and fibers.

00:51:44.000 It's also got a high level of protease

00:51:47.000 to support protein breakdown,

00:51:49.000 and phytase,

00:51:50.000 which helps make minerals like iron and zinc

00:51:53.000 more accessible from the food you're already eating.

00:51:56.000 When your body breaks food down more effectively,

00:51:59.000 that can support smoother digestion,

00:52:01.000 better nutrient absorption,

00:52:03.000 and may help with occasional post-meal discomfort or bloating.

00:52:07.000 No drama.

00:52:08.000 No miracle claims.

00:52:09.000 Just supporting the process.

00:52:11.000 Here's how I'm using it.

00:52:12.000 I take two to three capsules with meals,

00:52:14.000 especially heavier meals,

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00:53:20.000 I see what you're saying.

00:53:21.000 So I would argue that everything

00:53:24.000 these for-profit media companies do

00:53:27.000 at the end of the day

00:53:28.000 is to cater to their audience

00:53:29.000 such that they're more glued to the show

00:53:31.000 such that they make more money.

00:53:32.000 It's a reasonable assumption.

00:53:33.000 But you could say that

00:53:35.000 maybe they knew that was gonna...

00:53:38.000 So I guess it's feasible

00:53:40.000 that it was more important to them

00:53:41.000 to get Trump elected

00:53:42.000 and keep their audience engaged

00:53:44.000 and sell more opioid-induced constipation medication

00:53:47.000 in between commercial breaks.

00:53:49.000 But basically, the court said,

00:53:51.000 you guys actually...

00:53:52.000 They found emails that said,

00:53:53.000 you know this was bullshit,

00:53:55.000 but you said it anyways,

00:53:56.000 and this private company

00:53:58.000 experienced huge economic harm.

00:54:01.000 The reason I bring this up

00:54:02.000 is they got fined $750 million.

00:54:04.000 That's real money.

00:54:05.000 What happened on Fox

00:54:06.000 was a dumpster fire

00:54:07.000 compared to the nuclear mushroom cloud

00:54:09.000 of what happened on Meta

00:54:10.000 with those rumors.

00:54:11.000 But because Meta is quote-unquote

00:54:13.000 a new nascent platform,

00:54:14.000 they're totally exonerated.

00:54:16.000 They got a halt pass.

00:54:18.000 The reason I bring this up

00:54:19.000 is that I think those companies

00:54:20.000 should be subject to the same responsibilities

00:54:22.000 as a traditional media company.

00:54:24.000 And I think the argument

00:54:25.000 around free speech,

00:54:26.000 around how far you can go,

00:54:27.000 is a really worthwhile argument.

00:54:28.000 In my view, generally speaking,

00:54:29.000 is anybody should be able to say

00:54:30.000 pretty much anything

00:54:31.000 about pretty much anybody.

00:54:33.000 But if I know I'm saying something,

00:54:35.000 if I'm spreading lies about you

00:54:36.000 and I continue to do it

00:54:37.000 and it has real economic harm on you,

00:54:39.000 in the U.S., you're subject to defamation

00:54:40.000 and slander laws.

00:54:42.000 My point is,

00:54:43.000 these companies,

00:54:44.000 which are the most valuable companies

00:54:45.000 in the world,

00:54:46.000 are playing by,

00:54:47.000 get to play by a different standard.

00:54:49.000 And that there are common sense solutions.

00:54:52.000 We shouldn't have phone-ins in schools.

00:54:53.000 I don't think there's any,

00:54:55.000 I think we need to start age-gating,

00:54:57.000 doing a better job of age-gating pornography

00:54:59.000 for kids under the age of 18.

00:55:00.000 They claim there's no,

00:55:02.000 they claim they are worried about

00:55:03.000 the privacy concerns of young people.

00:55:05.000 They can tell when I'm at a Beyoncé concert

00:55:08.000 and serve me an ad for the Uber to get home

00:55:10.000 and the Beyoncé album

00:55:11.000 and tickets to a new concert.

00:55:13.000 But it would be impossible

00:55:14.000 for them to figure out

00:55:15.000 the age of these kids,

00:55:17.000 or they're worried about their privacy.

00:55:19.000 No one under the,

00:55:20.000 we age-gate alcohol,

00:55:22.000 the military,

00:55:23.000 motorcycles, pornography.

00:55:24.000 Why on earth wouldn't we age-gate

00:55:26.000 these things online?

00:55:28.000 And there's a real problem,

00:55:29.000 in my opinion,

00:55:30.000 a fission in our society,

00:55:31.000 and that is,

00:55:32.000 we won't let our kids go to school alone,

00:55:34.000 but we'll let them go online with strangers

00:55:37.000 and see this kind of content.

00:55:38.000 We over-protect them offline

00:55:40.000 and we under-protect them online.

00:55:42.000 I think there's just a series of common-sense solutions

00:55:45.000 that won't solve the problem,

00:55:46.000 but would go a long way to addressing it

00:55:49.000 while recognizing,

00:55:50.000 we don't want to put these companies out of business.

00:55:52.000 They're not terrible people,

00:55:53.000 but I stand by what I've said.

00:55:55.000 I think Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg

00:55:57.000 have done more harm to young people

00:55:59.000 while making more money

00:56:00.000 than any two people in history.

00:56:01.000 And I find it just so insane

00:56:04.000 that we had Sheryl Sandberg

00:56:05.000 running around the world with a book

00:56:07.000 talking about the important conversation

00:56:08.000 of gender balance in the workplace

00:56:10.000 as she invented and drove a business model

00:56:12.000 that resulted in an 80% increase

00:56:14.000 in self-cutting among teen girls.

00:56:16.000 And I just find the two totally incompatible.

00:56:19.000 So these companies should thrive.

00:56:23.000 We want our horses to run,

00:56:26.000 but with some significant but reasonable changes,

00:56:31.000 we can solve a lot of these problems.

00:56:33.000 And again, they weaponize the illusion of complexity.

00:56:36.000 Oh, these problems are too difficult.

00:56:38.000 This is, you know,

00:56:39.000 there's always been problems with media.

00:56:41.000 And, you know,

00:56:42.000 well, Elvis was a threat to the parents then.

00:56:44.000 Kids weren't cutting themselves

00:56:46.000 after watching Elvis Presley, right?

00:56:48.000 They weren't going down rabbit holes

00:56:50.000 and convincing themselves

00:56:51.000 that there was a pedophile ring

00:56:52.000 in the basement of a pizza place.

00:56:54.000 They weren't picking up

00:56:55.000 their father's assault rifle

00:56:56.000 because dad was loose,

00:56:58.000 because old people were listening to Lawrence Welk

00:57:00.000 and they saw those people as their enemy.

00:57:02.000 This is a different level of harm.

00:57:05.000 And I do think there's just common sense,

00:57:07.000 practical solutions

00:57:09.000 that these companies get in the way of.

00:57:11.000 They overrun government

00:57:12.000 with massive amounts of money.

00:57:14.000 There's more full-time lobbyists living in D.C.

00:57:17.000 who work for Amazon

00:57:19.000 than there are sitting U.S. Senators.

00:57:22.000 And the only way you get elected in the U.S.,

00:57:24.000 98% of the winners

00:57:25.000 are the ones who raise the most money

00:57:27.000 and who has a lot of money to write.

00:57:29.000 So when these issues come up on the House floor,

00:57:31.000 it's Republicans and Democrats that get in the way

00:57:33.000 and they start asking questions like,

00:57:35.000 I'm worried about this.

00:57:37.000 Let's talk about it more.

00:57:38.000 Let's have another hearing.

00:57:39.000 And nothing ever happens.

00:57:40.000 I also believe,

00:57:41.000 I apologize for the word salad here,

00:57:43.000 that these are the greatest espionage

00:57:45.000 and national security vehicles ever invented.

00:57:49.000 And I think what happens,

00:57:50.000 and I don't have evidence of this,

00:57:52.000 I think what happens is Mark Zuckerberg

00:57:53.000 goes into a confidential security briefing and says,

00:57:56.000 do you want to keep killing terrorists?

00:57:58.000 I mean, what could be a better way

00:58:02.000 to kill terrorists than to figure out

00:58:05.000 where their sons and daughters are on Instagram

00:58:07.000 and GPS locate them

00:58:08.000 and figure out their relationships,

00:58:10.000 when they're gathering?

00:58:12.000 These are the...

00:58:13.000 The most of the CIA, the GRU, the CCP,

00:58:16.000 couldn't have dreamt in their wildest dreams

00:58:18.000 an espionage tool, a security tool, like social media.

00:58:21.000 And I don't have evidence of this,

00:58:23.000 but if I were Mark Zuckerberg

00:58:24.000 and focused on shareholder value,

00:58:25.000 I would say,

00:58:26.000 do you want me to continue to work

00:58:27.000 with your security apparatus to kill bad guys?

00:58:31.000 Then back the...

00:58:32.000 ...off.

00:58:33.000 I think that conversation is happening

00:58:34.000 over and over in DC.

00:58:36.000 And as a result,

00:58:37.000 our young people pay the price.

00:58:39.000 Well, that I think in terms of the structural changes

00:58:42.000 and the structural situation

00:58:43.000 is a really great analysis

00:58:45.000 and you make some really, really important points.

00:58:47.000 And I know you and I probably disagree about Elon.

00:58:51.000 He's someone I really respect.

00:58:53.000 And I am surprised that he hasn't done some of the things

00:58:57.000 that he said he would do to mitigate some of these issues

00:59:01.000 that you're bringing up after he took over Twitter.

00:59:03.000 I wish he had done because he talked about freedom of speech,

00:59:06.000 but not freedom of reach.

00:59:07.000 He talked about prioritizing content from verified users.

00:59:11.000 And none of that's happened.

00:59:12.000 And I imagine it's partly because of the incentive structure

00:59:15.000 that punishes that sort of more responsible behavior.

00:59:19.000 But let's come back to my point,

00:59:21.000 which is what ultimately, in addition to all of this stuff,

00:59:26.000 every human being is going to have to deal with the world as it is.

00:59:30.000 And if you're a young man today,

00:59:32.000 you have not been dealt a great hand.

00:59:34.000 You've also not been dealt the worst hand in history.

00:59:37.000 100%.

00:59:38.000 So how do you be a young man today?

00:59:41.000 What is the man code?

00:59:42.000 What are the lessons?

00:59:43.000 What is it that your father wasn't around to tell you?

00:59:45.000 What is it that makes you someone who can deal with the world

00:59:48.000 as it is today and thrive?

00:59:51.000 Thanks.

00:59:52.000 That's a generous question.

00:59:53.000 So what I've tried to do is distill a basic version of masculinity

00:59:57.000 down to some aspirational things.

01:00:00.000 And I think of it as three legs of the stool.

01:00:02.000 The first is to be a provider.

01:00:04.000 And that upsets some people.

01:00:05.000 I think every young man should assume at some point

01:00:08.000 he's going to need to take economic responsibility

01:00:10.000 for his household.

01:00:12.000 And by the way, sometimes that means getting out of the way

01:00:14.000 and being more supportive of your partner

01:00:15.000 who might be better at that whole money thing.

01:00:17.000 But I think a pretty decent place to start as a man

01:00:20.000 is that we live in a capitalist society

01:00:22.000 and the way the world is, is I will be disproportionately evaluated

01:00:25.000 by other people.

01:00:26.000 And my self-esteem will disproportionately be driven

01:00:29.000 by my economic viability.

01:00:31.000 And that you need to get certified.

01:00:33.000 You need to show discipline.

01:00:34.000 You need to work hard.

01:00:35.000 You need to have the rational thinking to spend less

01:00:40.000 than you make such you can start saving some money.

01:00:42.000 But the reality is 75% of women say economic viability

01:00:47.000 is important in a mate.

01:00:48.000 It's only 25% of men, right?

01:00:51.000 Beyonce could work at McDonald's and marry Jay-Z.

01:00:53.000 The opposite is not true.

01:00:54.000 You will be disproportionately evaluated

01:00:57.000 based on your economic viability.

01:00:59.000 Figure out how to make money.

01:01:02.000 Now I have been probably addicted to it

01:01:05.000 and people have pointed out online

01:01:07.000 that I see everything through the lens of money.

01:01:09.000 I grew up without money,

01:01:10.000 so it's always been important to me,

01:01:12.000 probably too important.

01:01:13.000 But I stand by the fact that as a man,

01:01:15.000 if you are not economically viable,

01:01:17.000 your self-esteem, your place in society,

01:01:20.000 in a capitalist society,

01:01:21.000 your ability to find a mate

01:01:22.000 is going to be severely diminished.

01:01:24.000 So we want to get a...

01:01:26.000 And the best way to start making,

01:01:28.000 to make a lot of money

01:01:29.000 is start making a little bit of money.

01:01:30.000 I coach a lot of young men.

01:01:31.000 I'm like, if you have a smartphone,

01:01:32.000 you can make money.

01:01:33.000 Tomorrow we're going to start.

01:01:34.000 I don't care if you need to be a Lyft driver,

01:01:36.000 Uber driver, TaskRabbiter,

01:01:37.000 going to Panera Bread

01:01:39.000 where they're desperate for people

01:01:40.000 and they start them at 18 bucks an hour.

01:01:42.000 But once you start making a little bit of money,

01:01:44.000 you're going to realize how wonderful it is.

01:01:45.000 You're going to start figuring out the marketplace,

01:01:47.000 but you need to get out and make money.

01:01:48.000 You need to be a provider.

01:01:49.000 First leg of the stool.

01:01:51.000 The whole point of, in my opinion,

01:01:54.000 getting some economic security

01:01:55.000 and economic prosperity

01:01:57.000 is such that you can move to the second thing.

01:01:59.000 And that is being a protector.

01:02:01.000 The most...

01:02:02.000 The jobs I think we view as being most masculine,

01:02:04.000 cop, fireman, military,

01:02:06.000 at the end of the day,

01:02:07.000 they all do one thing.

01:02:08.000 They protect.

01:02:09.000 And I'm...

01:02:10.000 And again, this is a personal anecdote,

01:02:13.000 but I think it's true.

01:02:14.000 I think the most rewarding thing in life

01:02:15.000 is to feel like you are doing

01:02:18.000 a key role as a protector.

01:02:22.000 My moments of peace come

01:02:24.000 when my kids are asleep safe and warm

01:02:27.000 with a lot of opportunities,

01:02:28.000 more opportunities than I had,

01:02:30.000 my partner feels noticed and safe,

01:02:34.000 and I feel like I can finally go on offense

01:02:36.000 in my life and start protecting my community,

01:02:40.000 my country, and start doing...

01:02:42.000 You know, planting the trees,

01:02:44.000 the shade of which I'll never sit under.

01:02:46.000 I think that's...

01:02:47.000 That protection part is hugely important.

01:02:49.000 And you were talking about Elon.

01:02:50.000 Elon.

01:02:51.000 I think Elon demonstrates

01:02:52.000 unbelievable attributes of masculinity

01:02:54.000 in some areas

01:02:56.000 and a total deficiency in others.

01:02:58.000 I think making...

01:02:59.000 Taking enormous risks

01:03:00.000 and having vision

01:03:01.000 and working his ass off

01:03:02.000 such that he can land a rocket

01:03:04.000 on metal scissors

01:03:05.000 and create hundreds of billions of value.

01:03:07.000 Right on, brother.

01:03:09.000 Right on.

01:03:10.000 He inspired the EV race.

01:03:12.000 You got to give him credit.

01:03:13.000 Like, if we get to Mars,

01:03:14.000 we're going to get there years

01:03:15.000 or decades sooner

01:03:16.000 because of Elon Musk.

01:03:17.000 There couldn't be anything more masculine.

01:03:20.000 I mean, this risk-aggressive craziness,

01:03:23.000 right, that men...

01:03:26.000 And again, this will upset some people,

01:03:27.000 that men are more prone to

01:03:30.000 taking crazy risks, right?

01:03:33.000 A man is more likely

01:03:34.000 to rush into a burning house.

01:03:36.000 There's something called

01:03:37.000 the Carnegie Award

01:03:38.000 that literally...

01:03:39.000 That awards people

01:03:40.000 who put their own personal safety at risk

01:03:43.000 to try and save someone else's from harm

01:03:46.000 who they don't know.

01:03:47.000 It's literally the running

01:03:48.000 into a burning building thing.

01:03:49.000 Every year, they give out about 80 awards.

01:03:50.000 And every year,

01:03:51.000 about 75 of them go to men.

01:03:53.000 So while we like to frame young men

01:03:55.000 as reckless,

01:03:56.000 they're also...

01:03:57.000 There's also valor in that, right?

01:03:59.000 There's also...

01:04:00.000 And the fact that men are risk-aggressive

01:04:02.000 and do stupid things,

01:04:03.000 occasionally they start really

01:04:04.000 f***ing crazy, stupid companies

01:04:06.000 that end up being crazy genius.

01:04:07.000 Elon represents that exponentially.

01:04:11.000 So, props.

01:04:13.000 The issue I would have as Musk

01:04:16.000 as a role model for young men

01:04:18.000 is he seems to have skipped the protection part.

01:04:21.000 And that is,

01:04:22.000 when you're being sued concurrently

01:04:24.000 by two women for sole custody of your child

01:04:26.000 because you've never seen that child,

01:04:28.000 I don't think there's anything more anti-masculine.

01:04:30.000 I think when you're the wealthiest man in the world

01:04:33.000 cutting aid to HIV-positive mothers,

01:04:36.000 in my opinion,

01:04:37.000 that's a reputation extinction event.

01:04:39.000 I just don't...

01:04:40.000 I think he's missed the protection part.

01:04:42.000 And the final third leg of the stool,

01:04:45.000 which triggers more people,

01:04:46.000 is procreation.

01:04:47.000 We talked about this earlier.

01:04:49.000 Embrace your horniness.

01:04:51.000 Put on a f***ing cool coat.

01:04:54.000 Approach a woman.

01:04:55.000 Get used to know.

01:04:57.000 What I do with young men

01:04:59.000 is I go through a series of exercises.

01:05:01.000 I'm like,

01:05:02.000 you've got to be strong.

01:05:03.000 Go to the gym.

01:05:05.000 Work.

01:05:06.000 If you're under the age of 30,

01:05:07.000 you have this dense bone structure

01:05:09.000 and double-twitch muscle

01:05:10.000 and this amazing substance called testosterone,

01:05:13.000 you want to be strong.

01:05:14.000 You're going to feel better about yourself.

01:05:15.000 Or fast.

01:05:16.000 You want to run.

01:05:17.000 Do yoga.

01:05:18.000 You're going to be healthier.

01:05:19.000 You're going to be less depressed,

01:05:20.000 more attractive to potential mates.

01:05:22.000 The reason why women are interested in guys in shape

01:05:24.000 is not because they have big muscles,

01:05:25.000 it's because it reflects they have discipline

01:05:27.000 and they can show up.

01:05:28.000 The attributes of being in shape

01:05:30.000 are what's attractive to women.

01:05:32.000 Two, we're going to start making some money.

01:05:34.000 And then three,

01:05:35.000 we're going to put ourselves in the company of strangers

01:05:37.000 outside of the home.

01:05:38.000 And then once we're there for two or three weeks,

01:05:40.000 I task them a series of exercises.

01:05:42.000 I want you to go up to someone

01:05:43.000 and express platonic interest.

01:05:45.000 Hey man,

01:05:46.000 do you want to watch the Arsenal game this weekend?

01:05:48.000 Right?

01:05:49.000 That's a little bit lower risk.

01:05:51.000 And at some point,

01:05:52.000 I say you need to go ask a woman

01:05:54.000 who you might be interested in

01:05:56.000 or a guy for coffee.

01:05:58.000 Right?

01:05:59.000 Hey, what are you doing?

01:06:00.000 What's going on?

01:06:01.000 Not on the first one,

01:06:02.000 establish dialogue,

01:06:03.000 establish dialogue,

01:06:04.000 and then the next time you say,

01:06:05.000 I'm going to be interested in having a coffee.

01:06:06.000 And this is what's going to happen.

01:06:08.000 Most of them are going to say no.

01:06:10.000 And I'm like,

01:06:11.000 that's the victory.

01:06:13.000 Because the only thing

01:06:14.000 any wonderful thing in my life has in common

01:06:17.000 was it was preceded by a ton of no's.

01:06:20.000 I applied to nine graduate schools.

01:06:22.000 I got off the waiting list on one.

01:06:24.000 I applied to 27 jobs.

01:06:26.000 I got an interview with one

01:06:27.000 and got hired

01:06:28.000 because the guy who ran the division

01:06:29.000 rode crew as I did.

01:06:30.000 I didn't even really get the job.

01:06:32.000 I got it through,

01:06:33.000 I don't know,

01:06:34.000 unfair advantage.

01:06:35.000 I can't tell you how much rejection

01:06:38.000 I have endured from women.

01:06:39.000 But the reason I get,

01:06:41.000 the reason I make more money

01:06:42.000 than your average bear,

01:06:43.000 the reason why I have more friends,

01:06:44.000 I think,

01:06:45.000 than a lot of dudes,

01:06:46.000 the reason why I get to hang out

01:06:47.000 with someone who's much higher character

01:06:49.000 and much hotter than me,

01:06:50.000 is I've never been afraid of no.

01:06:52.000 Never been afraid of no.

01:06:54.000 So I'm trying to get young men

01:06:56.000 to get to no.

01:06:57.000 And unfortunately,

01:06:58.000 they have these synthetic relationships

01:07:00.000 that never say no to them,

01:07:01.000 so they can't endure or reject no.

01:07:03.000 45% of men,

01:07:05.000 18 to 22,

01:07:06.000 have never asked a woman out in person.

01:07:09.000 Think of that.

01:07:10.000 Almost half of young men

01:07:12.000 have never mustered the courage

01:07:14.000 or felt the fire,

01:07:16.000 because maybe they thought it'd be easier

01:07:17.000 to go home and just watch porn,

01:07:19.000 to actually approach a strange woman

01:07:21.000 and ask her out in person.

01:07:23.000 To me, that's a disaster.

01:07:26.000 Because some of those skills,

01:07:27.000 figuring out a rap,

01:07:29.000 figuring out humor,

01:07:30.000 figuring out how to demonstrate kindness,

01:07:32.000 are the skills you need

01:07:33.000 across different dimensions in your life.

01:07:35.000 Those skills are going to serve you well

01:07:36.000 in all aspects of your life.

01:07:38.000 And those men are not learning those skills.

01:07:41.000 So my code is provider, protector, and procreator.

01:07:46.000 And I think all three of those things

01:07:48.000 can serve as guideposts

01:07:49.000 for what a man wants to accomplish

01:07:51.000 and how he helps make decisions

01:07:53.000 and shape his behavior, if you will.

01:07:56.000 This episode of Trigonometry

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01:08:11.000 it was just us.

01:08:12.000 No investors, no safety net.

01:08:14.000 Just two guys trying to build something.

01:08:16.000 If you run a small business,

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01:08:52.000 I always say, Scott, and look,

01:08:54.000 I'm on board with everything you say.

01:08:55.000 I think it's really powerful and really important

01:08:57.000 for young men.

01:08:58.000 I always say to people,

01:09:00.000 like, when they go,

01:09:01.000 oh, you know, you built this,

01:09:02.000 you know, you helped to build, like, trigonometry,

01:09:04.000 and, you know, you've done all right, Francis,

01:09:06.000 what's the one advice that you would give?

01:09:08.000 I always say courage is a muscle.

01:09:10.000 The more you exercise courage,

01:09:12.000 the easier it becomes.

01:09:14.000 The more, if you see a cute girl,

01:09:16.000 the more you approach a cute girl,

01:09:18.000 the less intimidating it will become.

01:09:20.000 The more you're able to deal with rejection.

01:09:22.000 Because you know what's worse than not approaching?

01:09:26.000 It's two hours later,

01:09:28.000 when you look back and you go,

01:09:30.000 I should have done that.

01:09:32.000 I should have done that.

01:09:33.000 Because that could have been the one.

01:09:34.000 That could have been the start of something

01:09:36.000 incredibly beautiful.

01:09:38.000 And it could have been the start of a relationship,

01:09:40.000 a marriage, you know,

01:09:42.000 building a life together.

01:09:44.000 And do you know what?

01:09:45.000 If it goes really disastrously wrong,

01:09:47.000 in a few hours,

01:09:48.000 it's going to make the start of a really funny story

01:09:51.000 that you're going to tell your mates.

01:09:53.000 And you're going to be like,

01:09:54.000 you'll never guess, man.

01:09:55.000 I saw this girl.

01:09:56.000 I thought she was great.

01:09:57.000 I walked up to her.

01:09:58.000 And she was just,

01:09:59.000 and she was just horrible to me.

01:10:01.000 And you've got a great story.

01:10:03.000 So whatever way you do it,

01:10:04.000 in the end,

01:10:05.000 it's going to be win-win.

01:10:06.000 Yeah.

01:10:07.000 Look,

01:10:08.000 when you approach someone

01:10:09.000 and they don't return

01:10:10.000 or reciprocate your interest,

01:10:12.000 guess what?

01:10:13.000 You're both going to be fine.

01:10:14.000 And not like that.

01:10:16.000 And she, quite frankly,

01:10:18.000 has no license to be upset or critical of you.

01:10:21.000 Okay.

01:10:22.000 And what you find now

01:10:23.000 is more and more women are saying,

01:10:25.000 I would actually like more men to approach me.

01:10:28.000 And if you don't know the difference

01:10:29.000 between expressing interest

01:10:30.000 while making someone feel safe

01:10:32.000 and harassing them,

01:10:33.000 you've got much bigger problems.

01:10:35.000 Right?

01:10:36.000 And it's fine to approach a woman

01:10:37.000 in an environment

01:10:38.000 and just,

01:10:39.000 hey, where are you from?

01:10:40.000 She's going to figure out

01:10:41.000 that you're just not really interested

01:10:42.000 in geography.

01:10:44.000 And also,

01:10:45.000 most really attractive people,

01:10:47.000 or most people in general,

01:10:48.000 especially women,

01:10:49.000 they figure out a way

01:10:50.000 to softly deflect you.

01:10:51.000 And you have a responsibility

01:10:53.000 to listen to those soft deflections

01:10:55.000 and say, nice to meet you and leave.

01:10:57.000 I think every dad,

01:10:58.000 every mentor,

01:10:59.000 has a role to play.

01:11:00.000 And that is,

01:11:01.000 how do you teach your sons

01:11:02.000 to express romantic interest

01:11:03.000 while making the other person feel safe?

01:11:05.000 Hmm.

01:11:06.000 How do you do that, Scott?

01:11:07.000 I think it's just a series of basics.

01:11:09.000 Follow up, text,

01:11:10.000 hey, I saw where,

01:11:12.000 I was telling my son this,

01:11:13.000 he likes this girl

01:11:14.000 and she was going to be

01:11:15.000 in the same place as us.

01:11:17.000 He's going to freak out

01:11:18.000 if he sees us.

01:11:19.000 I'm like,

01:11:20.000 just text her and say,

01:11:21.000 hey, do you want to join us

01:11:22.000 in the family at this,

01:11:23.000 you know,

01:11:24.000 just a couple soft opens.

01:11:25.000 Where are you from?

01:11:26.000 How did you guys

01:11:27.000 end up here tonight?

01:11:28.000 Right?

01:11:29.000 Eye contact,

01:11:30.000 try and be nice,

01:11:31.000 try and be friendly.

01:11:32.000 And if you're not getting,

01:11:33.000 I think,

01:11:34.000 yeah,

01:11:35.000 and a lot of times

01:11:36.000 people aren't interested.

01:11:37.000 To your point,

01:11:38.000 the secret to my success

01:11:40.000 is rejection.

01:11:41.000 I ran for 10th grade,

01:11:42.000 11th grade,

01:11:43.000 and 12th grade presidents

01:11:44.000 three times.

01:11:45.000 I lost all three times.

01:11:46.000 And based on my track record,

01:11:48.000 I decided to run for student body president

01:11:49.000 where I went out to,

01:11:50.000 wait for it,

01:11:51.000 lose.

01:11:52.000 But my superpower,

01:11:53.000 I've started nine businesses.

01:11:55.000 I think I'm kind of three,

01:12:00.000 two,

01:12:01.000 and four.

01:12:02.000 Most of my businesses have failed.

01:12:04.000 But I,

01:12:05.000 the ability to mourn and move on

01:12:07.000 is everything,

01:12:08.000 right?

01:12:09.000 Okay.

01:12:10.000 I was always,

01:12:11.000 I was always able to raise more money.

01:12:12.000 I was always able to get up.

01:12:13.000 What's interesting is I have a lot of friends,

01:12:15.000 not a lot of friends,

01:12:16.000 but some friends,

01:12:17.000 and they've known nothing but success.

01:12:19.000 And then they hit a bump.

01:12:21.000 And they get paralyzed.

01:12:23.000 They,

01:12:24.000 their fund doesn't go well,

01:12:25.000 or they're not able to raise money,

01:12:26.000 or they have a business that fails,

01:12:28.000 or they have a divorce,

01:12:30.000 and they're just paralyzed

01:12:31.000 for three or five years.

01:12:33.000 So your ability to mourn and move on

01:12:35.000 is kind of everything.

01:12:36.000 And if you aren't getting a ton of,

01:12:38.000 you know,

01:12:39.000 I would argue the only thing successful people

01:12:40.000 have in common

01:12:41.000 is just a disproportionate number of no's,

01:12:43.000 because they're always trying to punch above

01:12:45.000 their weight class,

01:12:46.000 right?

01:12:47.000 You want to score above your weight class economically

01:12:49.000 and romantically?

01:12:50.000 Get out a big spoon and get ready to eat.

01:12:51.000 I mean,

01:12:53.000 I can't imagine

01:12:55.000 when you started trigonometry,

01:12:56.000 how many guests said no,

01:12:58.000 or how many advertisers said no.

01:13:00.000 Well, this is what I was going to say, man,

01:13:01.000 because it's such an interesting point,

01:13:03.000 because if,

01:13:04.000 if people want to look at the guests

01:13:06.000 that we've had on,

01:13:07.000 for every single guest

01:13:09.000 that you thought,

01:13:10.000 oh, wow,

01:13:11.000 the guys have got X,

01:13:13.000 Y, Z,

01:13:14.000 whoever,

01:13:15.000 that person has probably said no.

01:13:17.000 I've already said no

01:13:18.000 four or five times.

01:13:19.000 Four or five times.

01:13:20.000 But that's how it worked.

01:13:21.000 And they didn't,

01:13:22.000 and the reason is,

01:13:23.000 just like a hot girl,

01:13:24.000 they didn't necessarily say no,

01:13:25.000 because there was nothing there.

01:13:27.000 It's like,

01:13:28.000 they've got a life,

01:13:29.000 they're busy,

01:13:30.000 maybe they've got a boyfriend right now.

01:13:31.000 Got other stuff.

01:13:32.000 There's other reasons,

01:13:33.000 and the trick is,

01:13:34.000 that you gradually learn,

01:13:35.000 is not to internalize the no.

01:13:36.000 100%.

01:13:37.000 You've just got to not internalize it.

01:13:39.000 It's so,

01:13:40.000 it's such an important thing,

01:13:42.000 because we have a tendency,

01:13:44.000 we're such narcissistic creatures,

01:13:45.000 when we're,

01:13:46.000 we go up to someone

01:13:47.000 and express friendship,

01:13:48.000 and they're not nice to us,

01:13:49.000 or we,

01:13:50.000 or we sometimes express interest

01:13:52.000 in raising money or something,

01:13:54.000 and they say no,

01:13:55.000 or they don't return your interest,

01:13:57.000 we immediately think it's all about us.

01:13:58.000 Right.

01:13:59.000 My company sucks,

01:14:00.000 or I'm not good looking,

01:14:01.000 or they're an asshole.

01:14:03.000 Well,

01:14:04.000 as far as you know,

01:14:05.000 they're like,

01:14:06.000 they just found out their dad has Alzheimer's.

01:14:07.000 You just don't know what's going on in their life.

01:14:10.000 Or they're going through a breakup themselves,

01:14:12.000 or they just had their heart broken.

01:14:14.000 Or,

01:14:15.000 this partner to VC fund,

01:14:16.000 his kid has just been diagnosed with ADHD,

01:14:19.000 or he's just recognized,

01:14:20.000 he's just had a conversation where,

01:14:22.000 his current portfolio sucks,

01:14:23.000 so he can't make any more investments.

01:14:25.000 It's not about you usually.

01:14:27.000 The response you get from people,

01:14:29.000 yeah, a lot of it has to do with you,

01:14:30.000 but sometimes,

01:14:31.000 most of it has to do with what's going on with them at that moment.

01:14:34.000 Yeah.

01:14:35.000 That's very hard.

01:14:37.000 That's very hard to learn.

01:14:39.000 If I could give young men anything,

01:14:43.000 it would be,

01:14:44.000 one,

01:14:45.000 an ability to tell stories.

01:14:46.000 That's the ultimate core competence.

01:14:48.000 All CEOs have the ability to craft a narrative or a story.

01:14:51.000 It's not learn computer science or Mandarin,

01:14:53.000 who the fuck knows,

01:14:54.000 if that's going to pay any dividends.

01:14:56.000 But it's storytelling.

01:14:57.000 At the end of the day,

01:14:58.000 you guys are making an exceptional living,

01:14:59.000 and so am I storytelling, right?

01:15:01.000 But what I would want to give them is risk aggressiveness,

01:15:04.000 because you got to get out there and take,

01:15:08.000 and get to knows, right?

01:15:10.000 That's everything.

01:15:11.000 And also,

01:15:12.000 and I don't know if it's not healthy,

01:15:14.000 because they'd all freak out,

01:15:15.000 but the biggest unlock for me has been my atheism.

01:15:18.000 I genuinely believe that I'm going to look into my kids' eyes someday

01:15:22.000 and know our relationships coming, going in.

01:15:24.000 And that finite nature of life,

01:15:26.000 or recognition of the finite nature of life.

01:15:28.000 And also, I want to be clear,

01:15:29.000 my views that, you know,

01:15:32.000 there was nothing in the world,

01:15:33.000 and then the universe exploded,

01:15:35.000 are no less crazy than any religious person's views.

01:15:37.000 So I don't disparage religion.

01:15:39.000 I actually think we need more religious institutions,

01:15:41.000 and I think young men would benefit from more church,

01:15:45.000 or temple, or mosque,

01:15:48.000 or whatever it might be, attendance.

01:15:50.000 But that sense of the finite nature of life

01:15:53.000 has made me so much more courageous and emotive, right?

01:15:57.000 I now try and stop you.

01:15:58.000 If I see an older couple that look amazing,

01:16:00.000 I stop and say,

01:16:01.000 you look amazing.

01:16:03.000 And it makes them feel good,

01:16:05.000 and it makes me feel good.

01:16:06.000 I see young dudes, and I compliment them.

01:16:09.000 You know,

01:16:10.000 you're so handsome,

01:16:11.000 you're in such great shape.

01:16:12.000 Whereas 10, 15 years ago,

01:16:13.000 I had this up sense of masculinity

01:16:15.000 where I didn't feel,

01:16:16.000 I felt self-conscious saying nice things to people.

01:16:19.000 But now that I know I'm going to be dead soon,

01:16:22.000 I want to make,

01:16:24.000 I want to take the capital I have

01:16:26.000 when I recognize good things

01:16:28.000 and feel good about myself

01:16:29.000 and feel good about them.

01:16:30.000 And also,

01:16:31.000 when I say something really stupid,

01:16:33.000 I said something,

01:16:34.000 I was on a board call yesterday,

01:16:35.000 and I started going on a rant,

01:16:36.000 and about halfway,

01:16:37.000 do you ever do this?

01:16:38.000 About halfway through the rant,

01:16:39.000 I'm like,

01:16:40.000 this is so stupid.

01:16:41.000 What am I saying?

01:16:42.000 This makes no sense.

01:16:44.000 And the rest of the day,

01:16:45.000 I'm beating myself up over it.

01:16:47.000 And then what you realize is,

01:16:48.000 the other people on the board call went,

01:16:50.000 oh, that was stupid.

01:16:51.000 And then they started thinking about themselves again

01:16:53.000 a minute later.

01:16:54.000 And I'm sitting there in bed thinking,

01:16:56.000 okay,

01:16:57.000 all of us,

01:16:58.000 all these people I'm freaked out about,

01:16:59.000 their opinion of me,

01:17:00.000 we're all going to be dead really soon.

01:17:03.000 So just forgive yourself.

01:17:06.000 You know,

01:17:07.000 take more risks,

01:17:08.000 but also,

01:17:09.000 when you screw up,

01:17:10.000 which you will,

01:17:11.000 based on how many risks you take,

01:17:13.000 forgive yourself.

01:17:14.000 It's okay.

01:17:15.000 They're going to be dead.

01:17:16.000 So are you.

01:17:17.000 Enjoy it.

01:17:18.000 Squeeze as much juice out of this lime called life,

01:17:21.000 because it's going to be over fast.

01:17:23.000 Now,

01:17:24.000 some people get strength and a guidebook

01:17:26.000 from believing there's an afterlife.

01:17:28.000 And I'm not,

01:17:29.000 I don't want to be disparaging of that.

01:17:31.000 Me personally,

01:17:32.000 atheism and this finite nature of life

01:17:35.000 has been an enormous unlock.

01:17:37.000 And you know,

01:17:38.000 I read this article,

01:17:39.000 it was in the Guardian actually,

01:17:40.000 and it went super viral.

01:17:41.000 And it was written by a palliative care nurse.

01:17:43.000 And she said,

01:17:44.000 and it was called the top seven regrets of the dying.

01:17:48.000 Yeah.

01:17:49.000 Number one,

01:17:50.000 I didn't live a life true to myself.

01:17:52.000 Uh,

01:17:53.000 my colleague at the business school,

01:17:54.000 Adam Alta,

01:17:55.000 who has an appointment in the psychology department,

01:17:56.000 does a ton of similar work on regrets.

01:17:58.000 Mm-hmm.

01:17:59.000 And he distills it down to,

01:18:00.000 and it's,

01:18:01.000 and it's been very informative for my life.

01:18:02.000 And some,

01:18:03.000 number three,

01:18:04.000 people wish they'd stayed in touch with their friends.

01:18:05.000 Number two,

01:18:06.000 they wish they'd led the life they wanted to leave,

01:18:09.000 lead,

01:18:10.000 you know,

01:18:11.000 with the religion or their parents or society,

01:18:13.000 but they wish they'd kind of danced out loud,

01:18:15.000 if you will,

01:18:16.000 or lived out loud.

01:18:17.000 Uh,

01:18:18.000 but the number one regret that he identified amongst these people,

01:18:21.000 when you're at the end and you know,

01:18:22.000 you're never going to feel sand again,

01:18:23.000 or you're never going to be with your kids again,

01:18:25.000 you get a lot of perspective.

01:18:27.000 The number one thing he noticed,

01:18:28.000 and I think it's in line with what you're talking about,

01:18:30.000 was people wish they'd,

01:18:32.000 uh,

01:18:33.000 been less hard on themselves.

01:18:34.000 Mm-hmm.

01:18:35.000 They wish they'd let themselves be happier.

01:18:37.000 And what I tell people who are in moments of stress

01:18:40.000 is that,

01:18:42.000 when you look back on this moment,

01:18:44.000 and I know this,

01:18:46.000 I had a company go chapter 11.

01:18:48.000 That was just devastating for me.

01:18:50.000 I was just like,

01:18:51.000 it almost took me out.

01:18:52.000 I was just like,

01:18:53.000 it just devastated me.

01:18:55.000 I don't regret my company going chapter 11.

01:18:57.000 I regret how upset I was.

01:18:59.000 Because I was able to make money again.

01:19:01.000 I was able to bounce back.

01:19:02.000 And that's the thing.

01:19:03.000 And that's what I tell young men is like,

01:19:05.000 or young people are upset.

01:19:07.000 You're going to regret this,

01:19:08.000 but you're not going to regret it because it was bad.

01:19:10.000 You're going to regret how hard you were on yourself.

01:19:12.000 And this shall,

01:19:14.000 this too shall pass.

01:19:17.000 Before Scott answers a final question at the end of the interview,

01:19:20.000 make sure to head over to our sub stack.

01:19:22.000 The link is in the description where you'll be able to see this.

01:19:25.000 How does Scott characterize the loss of the Boy Scouts of America

01:19:29.000 and its impact on boys,

01:19:30.000 particularly boys without strong male role models in their life?

01:19:34.000 Scott,

01:19:35.000 what advice do you have for people 50 plus years old

01:19:38.000 that are considering starting their own business?

01:19:41.000 I've heard Scott talk a lot about how young men need to grow a pair

01:19:45.000 and ask a woman out.

01:19:46.000 But I haven't heard him address the problems of doing so post Me Too,

01:19:50.000 where breathing in the same room as a woman without her consent

01:19:52.000 is enough to get the police called.

01:19:56.000 Brother, it's been great having you on.

01:19:58.000 I really appreciate the,

01:19:59.000 the raw authenticity with which we had this conversation.

01:20:02.000 And I think it's really important and really great.

01:20:04.000 We're going to ask you some questions from our supporters in a second.

01:20:07.000 Okay.

01:20:08.000 Before we do though,

01:20:09.000 what's the one thing we're not talking about that we really should be?

01:20:12.000 You asked that at the beginning,

01:20:13.000 and I had something and of course it's,

01:20:14.000 it's,

01:20:15.000 it's escaped me.

01:20:16.000 Well,

01:20:17.000 beyond,

01:20:18.000 beyond the struggling young men,

01:20:21.000 my,

01:20:22.000 my,

01:20:23.000 the thing,

01:20:26.000 and I like the boring stuff.

01:20:27.000 America has become a giant bet on AI.

01:20:29.000 And I think that our economy and our global economy has become too concentrated around a small number of companies.

01:20:36.000 And I think that the CCP is going to flood the market with AI models and wreck our economy because our whole economy has become one big bet on AI.

01:20:48.000 That is like the worst answer for what you're talking about.

01:20:51.000 I don't know,

01:20:52.000 man.

01:20:53.000 We've just come from San Francisco.

01:20:54.000 I just,

01:20:55.000 I think fundamentally,

01:20:56.000 like,

01:20:57.000 in the,

01:20:58.000 it's a wanky term,

01:20:59.000 but in the elite discourse,

01:21:00.000 people are talking about,

01:21:01.000 the ordinary person doesn't have a f***ing clue what's coming.

01:21:04.000 And also,

01:21:07.000 we had a great conversation with Owen,

01:21:10.000 who,

01:21:11.000 Owen McCabe,

01:21:12.000 who runs an AI company.

01:21:13.000 Yeah.

01:21:14.000 We also had some private conversations.

01:21:16.000 And let's just say,

01:21:17.000 there's a range of responsibility levels among the people who are doing this.

01:21:22.000 And there's a range of awareness of second,

01:21:25.000 third,

01:21:26.000 fourth,

01:21:27.000 fifth order consequence among the people who are doing this.

01:21:29.000 Some people are responsible.

01:21:30.000 Some people are conscious.

01:21:32.000 There's also some people who are just going to move fast and break things the way the,

01:21:36.000 the social media companies did.

01:21:38.000 So there's,

01:21:39.000 there's a lot to talk about with AI.

01:21:40.000 Well,

01:21:41.000 the incentives in a capitalist society,

01:21:42.000 your access to healthcare opportunities for your kids,

01:21:45.000 access to respect,

01:21:46.000 access to mating opportunities is all based on money.

01:21:49.000 And so I don't think the CEOs of these companies are the ones that are the culprits.

01:21:55.000 They're going to make incremental decisions just as the tobacco guys did to make more money,

01:21:59.000 even if it creates harm and they know it.

01:22:01.000 The incentives are just too great to ignore the tragedy of the commons.

01:22:04.000 We're supposed to elect people who understand technology and can regulate it while letting the economy flourish.

01:22:09.000 It's really,

01:22:10.000 it's really,

01:22:11.000 it's us that's screwed up.

01:22:12.000 And that is we have an elected people who understand these technologies that Washington,

01:22:15.000 D.C.

01:22:16.000 right now is a cross between the golden girls and the land of the dead.

01:22:19.000 It's just,

01:22:20.000 these people don't understand technology.

01:22:21.000 Money's washed over them.

01:22:23.000 But the idea of synthetic relationships is a better answer.

01:22:29.000 I think synthetic relationships are such a danger to our young people.

01:22:34.000 Hmm.

01:22:35.000 And it's supposedly one in three people under the age of 18 is in a synthetic relationship.

01:22:38.000 And the problem is you don't even know what's going on.

01:22:40.000 Hmm.

01:22:41.000 And these people start to tell them how to behave, that they don't need friendships,

01:22:45.000 that they should stop talking to their mom and dad, or not, they don't tell them to stop talking to their mom and dad,

01:22:49.000 but they stop talking to them because this thing, they can ask anything.

01:22:53.000 It's transparent.

01:22:54.000 It never judges them.

01:22:55.000 So I think what we're going to be talking more about, unfortunately,

01:22:59.000 is going to be synthetic relationships and the discussion is going to be not a good one.

01:23:03.000 Scott, thanks for coming on.

01:23:05.000 Head on over to triggerpod.co.uk where we ask your questions.

01:23:10.000 Given the Democratic Party's transformation and apparent lack of interest in returning to the center,

01:23:16.000 why do you continue to identify as a Dem?

01:23:25.000 Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything, like packing a spare stick.

01:23:51.000 I like to be prepared.

01:23:53.000 That's why I remember 988 Canada's Suicide Crisis Helpline.

01:23:57.000 It's good to know, just in case.

01:23:59.000 Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a trained responder, anytime.

01:24:04.000 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline is funded by the government in Canada.

TRIGGERnometry - February 15, 2026

You've Been Lied To About Masculinity - Scott Galloway

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