True Patriot Love - September 25, 2025


Ditch the Pitch： The New Rules of Networking in a Post-Zoom World with Natalie Colalillo


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

183.16483

Word Count

3,285

Sentence Count

240

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.120 Have we lost touch as humans? Maybe COVID did something where we insulated a little too much.
00:00:05.460 We got used to the Zoom and being in a room by ourselves,
00:00:09.500 able to escape as we wanted to in our pajama pants and still get on with our careers.
00:00:15.620 I don't know. In future episodes, we're going to be talking about
00:00:19.460 the effects of going back to work at the workplace as across the nation,
00:00:24.580 major corporations are saying to the workers, and even at the federal bureaucrat level,
00:00:29.380 come on back to the office, which is going to change people's lives.
00:00:33.840 From an entrepreneurial standpoint, it's important to be building business all the time.
00:00:40.040 How do we do that in an era when we got used to looking at each other on screens
00:00:43.880 and using social media to make a message?
00:00:46.300 Well, we're going to find out more about building your presentation.
00:00:51.160 And in fact, we're going to learn how to ditch the pitch today.
00:00:59.380 Natalie Kalililo, my neighbor, my friend, we have spent time in the same community.
00:01:07.160 I know you as an entrepreneur that entire time with Happy Healthy Women.
00:01:11.180 Thanks for coming by.
00:01:12.200 Thanks for having me.
00:01:13.300 I appreciate this.
00:01:14.320 And you are actually the perfect person to talk about this
00:01:17.200 because you're all about building entrepreneurship in women.
00:01:21.520 And you've built a community around that.
00:01:23.380 Tell us about it.
00:01:25.540 Well, Happy Healthy Women is a community for wellness-minded women in business.
00:01:30.540 And really at the heart of what we do is authenticity, is connection,
00:01:37.600 is coming together, not just for transactions because those happen anyway,
00:01:46.160 but really for the purpose of connecting heart to heart.
00:01:49.540 And I have noticed in my journey as an entrepreneur, which has been 20 plus years,
00:01:56.280 that that is the ideal way to build a business versus having dollar signs in your eyes.
00:02:02.000 Rather than just pursuing the product, the dollar, the client.
00:02:06.020 Right.
00:02:06.440 Yeah.
00:02:06.800 And okay, give me some examples of how it is different in just building relationships
00:02:13.940 over doing transactional business.
00:02:17.040 So it's interesting.
00:02:18.220 Like when I first started networking, right?
00:02:20.320 When I started a business that it was recommended to start networking,
00:02:24.760 I was going out to various events.
00:02:26.640 And I thought networking events are networking events.
00:02:28.400 You're going to meet people that you connect with.
00:02:30.440 You're going to meet people that you don't connect with.
00:02:32.140 But really what mattered was the sort of air in the room, right?
00:02:39.660 And the, like, what was, how it was led, how that event was led.
00:02:44.640 Because what I started to find was that it was very transactional right off the top, right?
00:02:50.740 So someone would approach you or you would approach someone.
00:02:53.760 And, you know, the first question is, hi, Mike, what do you do?
00:02:57.200 Right.
00:02:57.600 Or what's your name?
00:02:58.500 And then, oh, Mike, hi, Mike, what do you do?
00:03:00.100 And, and it's almost like you feel this immense pressure to now sell yourself, right?
00:03:06.200 Yeah.
00:03:06.500 And you have no idea who the other person is, what they do.
00:03:10.980 Do they even really care?
00:03:12.320 They're just waiting for their opportunity to give you their pitch.
00:03:15.560 Well, that's exactly it, right?
00:03:17.100 And like, when you think about actual sales, it kind of goes against everything that I know
00:03:24.640 about sales anyways.
00:03:25.580 And I know, I know about successful sales, which is you need to know about the other person
00:03:31.440 because it's really their needs that you want to answer to, right?
00:03:34.600 So, so I just found that way of networking so strange and almost like meat marketing, right?
00:03:42.440 Versus having like true authentic connection.
00:03:45.400 They actually come off like speed dating.
00:03:47.000 Okay.
00:03:47.620 Everybody's got one minute and this group of four people, which is great.
00:03:51.720 And I don't want to, I'm not trying to besmirch any kind of networking because I think it is
00:03:55.660 important, right?
00:03:56.600 But what is the alternative to that?
00:03:58.780 So, you know, in happy, healthy women.
00:04:00.520 So, so first of all, I walked away from those really being in tune with how I felt.
00:04:05.620 And I remember feeling like, oh, I don't, I didn't like that.
00:04:09.400 Right.
00:04:09.900 I didn't like being pitched.
00:04:11.360 I didn't like being sold to.
00:04:13.080 I didn't like having to sell myself and pitch in the right way and having this like elevator
00:04:18.320 pitch in my mind and trying to remember it.
00:04:20.540 Like that's all the things.
00:04:22.220 Well, yeah.
00:04:22.720 Cause these are the things that I was taught to do when I was doing my sales training and
00:04:26.840 my entrepreneurial training.
00:04:27.940 Right.
00:04:29.780 And granted, like I've been an entrepreneur my whole life, basically from, you know, childhood,
00:04:34.920 basically with my parents being an entrepreneur.
00:04:36.920 Okay.
00:04:37.600 Family business is a great way to learn it.
00:04:39.500 Family business.
00:04:40.020 And I mean, I never saw them do any of that.
00:04:42.580 Right.
00:04:42.980 I saw my mom being like the most authentic, true person and building a crazy, amazing business
00:04:48.360 out of that.
00:04:49.040 So I think that's part of why this never felt right.
00:04:52.140 But what we do in happy, healthy women, as a result of that, it was something that I decided
00:04:56.080 right away was I really want to bring women together that first of all, are that, that
00:05:03.400 are forward thinking that have happiness on the brain.
00:05:07.520 Like even if they're not happy in this moment, they know that they want to lead more fulfilled
00:05:11.680 lives.
00:05:12.100 I want to bring women together that understand wellness and business as, as one full circle,
00:05:18.060 right.
00:05:18.500 With, with happiness and joy.
00:05:20.120 And the only way that I'm going to do that is through authentic connection.
00:05:23.420 So let's bring women together, not just to sell their things to each other.
00:05:27.860 Yes.
00:05:28.060 Tell us what you do.
00:05:28.860 Tell us who you are, but tell us more about you.
00:05:32.040 Like if I pose a topic to this group, let's have a real conversation around that.
00:05:37.140 Right.
00:05:37.940 And, and that's how authentic connection really started to happen with us.
00:05:41.400 It's funny, but I think sometimes in business, we think the person that we're selling to is
00:05:45.200 the person who's going to buy an often, if you make the right impression, that's the person
00:05:49.540 that markets for you.
00:05:50.720 They become your champion.
00:05:51.980 I like this person.
00:05:53.400 I like what they're all about.
00:05:54.760 Uh, they're a dad and, and, uh, they're also a member of the community and they, you know,
00:05:59.860 that I love the way that they make home wine or whatever the case, right?
00:06:03.400 That connection is important in them recommending you to somebody.
00:06:08.720 Oh, I also know that they're, they're in the networking, uh, planning game.
00:06:14.700 Uh, so maybe I should connect you to, because your personality and their personality could
00:06:19.080 be, and I think that that's important.
00:06:21.180 And we forget that we market by the numbers.
00:06:24.020 Often the CRM gets filled out.
00:06:26.440 We follow up.
00:06:27.340 There's a chart and networking just becomes part of that process normally.
00:06:32.000 Right.
00:06:32.460 Right.
00:06:33.160 Yeah.
00:06:33.700 And I think it's important to remember as well, that the minute we step into, you know,
00:06:38.560 a conversation with someone that we're hoping becomes part of our business or, or anywhere,
00:06:43.700 right?
00:06:44.240 Like in terms of business and representing our business, we're representing a brand, right?
00:06:49.260 And, and so if we start to think about, like, I always recommend this to my clients, like
00:06:54.380 start to think about the last safe three purchases you made, what did you buy?
00:07:00.460 Whether it's a coffee or lunch or yoga pants, where did you go?
00:07:04.980 What did you buy?
00:07:06.060 By the way, that was the last three things I purchased.
00:07:08.560 Right.
00:07:09.680 But, but you have to think about like, why did I make that purchase at that place?
00:07:13.460 Right.
00:07:13.920 You had a connection to the brand most likely in all three of those spaces.
00:07:18.620 Yeah.
00:07:19.060 And whether it was recommended to you that you already enjoy that brand and has become
00:07:23.020 comfortable for you in your life, or, you know, it's something that, you know, only as
00:07:28.220 a brand and you're trying for the first time.
00:07:30.460 Right.
00:07:30.900 So I guess what you're saying is you're the brand, I'm the brand, be a genuine quality
00:07:37.840 brand.
00:07:38.460 Yeah.
00:07:38.840 First and foremost.
00:07:39.880 Yeah.
00:07:40.300 Right.
00:07:40.760 Because people do business with those they know, like, and trust.
00:07:43.420 Yeah.
00:07:43.620 And whether you're a corporate brand like Lululemon or whether it's a small mom and pop shop,
00:07:50.000 people are making decisions to buy based on that brand.
00:07:53.740 And I get that totally makes perfect sense.
00:07:56.740 Yeah.
00:07:57.160 And then you even price compare against that brand.
00:08:00.420 Everything becomes comparative to that brand in the same category.
00:08:03.860 If something new arrives, is it as good as Kleenex is, for example?
00:08:08.700 Yeah.
00:08:09.100 Today's show is brought to you by Kleenex.
00:08:12.060 Having said that.
00:08:14.040 Okay.
00:08:14.580 So now we're out there.
00:08:16.980 We've got a good vision of our brand.
00:08:18.720 We know what the mission is.
00:08:21.520 How do we connect anymore?
00:08:23.780 I mean, if it isn't via email list, if it isn't via social media, if it really does need
00:08:29.600 to be a good connection and you're not in a major city center, how do we start to do this?
00:08:34.040 And I don't even know if we were going to have the answers, but it seems important.
00:08:38.700 It's very important.
00:08:39.980 I think one of the biggest things is to be in touch with ourselves, first of all, and
00:08:46.040 be in tune with what it is that we are looking for when we go out there and interact with
00:08:51.220 people around our business, right?
00:08:54.100 And like I've said it already in this interview, but if we're going out there with dollar signs
00:08:59.820 in our eyes, then that's kind of like, you can see that a mile away, right?
00:09:03.680 But it's hard not to.
00:09:05.020 Well, I mean, especially in an economy that seems deteriorating around us, inflation going
00:09:10.600 through the roof, you know, small businesses failing every day, there is this pressure
00:09:15.820 still to deliver numbers.
00:09:18.160 There must be a happy medium in there someplace.
00:09:21.780 Well, we all want to do business for sure.
00:09:24.020 And of course, like any smart entrepreneur is going to have their eyes on the numbers,
00:09:28.440 but we can't let it dictate being human in our interaction.
00:09:34.060 Right.
00:09:34.320 That comes first.
00:09:35.400 Connection comes first because we need to be out there building that know, like, and
00:09:40.600 trust factor.
00:09:41.200 And the only way we're going to do that.
00:09:42.520 And so it's really interesting because if you try to build that know, like, and trust
00:09:46.840 factor, you're almost depleting the authenticity, right?
00:09:50.220 And, but if you just decide, I'm just going to be me, I'm going to stay in my authenticity.
00:09:55.900 Then you can really develop amazing connections with people.
00:10:00.620 And like you said, if it's not them, that's doing business with you.
00:10:02.940 They're referring.
00:10:03.420 Tell me what this means.
00:10:05.300 Your motto, and I love this the other day, was ditch the pitch.
00:10:09.440 Everybody's out there with this pitch that we talked about.
00:10:12.580 What is it just a matter of starting there, do you think?
00:10:15.860 And saying, okay, I'm going to leave this.
00:10:18.080 I'm going to leave my little pitch aside here.
00:10:20.380 And I'm going to have a conversation with Natalie about life or about what, how, how do
00:10:28.620 you envision these interactions coming on?
00:10:31.800 Is it in a group scenario, like what happy, healthy women do?
00:10:35.760 Well, it's so interesting because we still want to be able to confidently share what it
00:10:40.560 is that we do and have people understand that clearly, right?
00:10:44.440 Like that's true.
00:10:45.520 That is one of our objectives when we go out and we are networking and we are connecting.
00:10:48.860 However, what I have seen and you know, happy, healthy women's been around for 14 years.
00:10:54.000 So I've seen a lot of the pitch, which is why I decided, okay, ditch the pitch because
00:10:59.300 it's working against you.
00:11:00.960 Because what I've seen is people literally like writing it.
00:11:03.620 And I was there too.
00:11:04.380 I did this too.
00:11:04.980 When I was first getting trained, right?
00:11:06.740 Write it out and memorize that.
00:11:09.700 And that's what you say.
00:11:10.680 And there's these hot buttons that you need to have in there and memorize that.
00:11:13.640 And when you go out into a networking event in any setting, when someone says, what do
00:11:17.500 you do?
00:11:18.100 This is what you say.
00:11:19.580 So there's a few reasons why that doesn't work.
00:11:22.800 A it's a memorized script, right?
00:11:25.460 And, you know, being in the business that you're in, like sometimes that's not the best
00:11:30.920 way to, it does come off a little stiff at times.
00:11:33.760 And thank goodness, because I couldn't memorize something if you held a gun to my head.
00:11:37.140 So, uh, handy in my case, but you're right.
00:11:40.560 I think people rely on that because speaking to a new person or speaking in public is terrifying
00:11:46.560 to people.
00:11:47.200 Right.
00:11:47.680 So to have your shtick ready to go, I think has been a crutch that people leaned on for
00:11:52.560 many years.
00:11:53.180 For sure.
00:11:53.720 For sure.
00:11:54.120 And yeah, the script is definitely like something that people are like, okay, I can do this.
00:11:57.980 I can memorize this and I can go and I can say what I do and then take a deep breath.
00:12:01.960 Right.
00:12:02.600 Um, but the other thing that it does is it, if you say something often enough as a memorized
00:12:09.620 thing, unless you're an actor, right.
00:12:13.040 Um, where, where you're being paid to put emotion into it, a lot of the times emotion gets erased
00:12:18.560 from, from that script, that memorized thing.
00:12:22.100 So, so, you know, what I recommend to people always tend to start with, okay, before you
00:12:28.600 say your rehearsed speech, everybody does the same thing.
00:12:31.700 They start with the word.
00:12:32.840 So, so, so, so, and that's the reset to get their speech out and start the process.
00:12:39.040 Right.
00:12:39.340 Right.
00:12:39.440 Right.
00:12:39.840 When people are speaking genuinely, the first thing they say is hi everybody.
00:12:43.400 Yeah.
00:12:43.880 It's so obvious, right?
00:12:45.880 Right.
00:12:46.420 Right.
00:12:46.940 Yes.
00:12:47.500 Yeah.
00:12:47.880 And it's, you know, it's, it's, you can always tell when there is that memorized, rehearsed
00:12:54.300 line or few lines versus someone really speaking from their heart, from authenticity.
00:12:59.840 And I, you know, we're moving more and more in this direction.
00:13:03.720 It's already, we've already been there for quite a few years now where, um, the, the corporate
00:13:08.720 sort of structured, um, hard, very masculine energy way of doing things.
00:13:16.440 And I, and I only mean that from an energetics perspective, um, is sort of falling away and
00:13:22.720 people want truth.
00:13:23.680 They want authenticity, especially with the social media, like go being where it is.
00:13:28.840 Right.
00:13:29.840 Truth and authenticity really shine through.
00:13:31.240 So what I always recommend to people when they're like, okay, what about my elevator
00:13:34.960 pitch?
00:13:35.960 And I've had people say, can you coach me on my pitch?
00:13:37.820 And I always say, ditch it, ditch the pitch, like throw it out and start talking to me,
00:13:44.080 um, about what you do with your heart and your passion front and center.
00:13:49.200 Because once that starts to happen, people start to use the words, like, like I have one,
00:13:53.400 um, you may have met her, Debbie, who does vision boards in, I do know Debbie.
00:13:58.080 Right.
00:13:59.080 Right.
00:14:00.080 And, and, you know, we were talking about this one day.
00:14:01.080 I was doing a class on networking and, and I said, Deb, what are you obsessed with?
00:14:05.080 She's like, I'm obsessed with vision boards.
00:14:07.080 And I was like, okay, right now you just lit up when you said that, but tell me your pitch.
00:14:12.580 And you're like, hi, I'm Debbie.
00:14:14.080 And I have a vision board business and I train trainers and okay, great.
00:14:17.080 But what are you obsessed with?
00:14:19.080 Yeah.
00:14:20.080 Don't be a brochure, be enthused and engaged in what you do.
00:14:25.080 Cause I would rather work with someone who's obsessed with vision boards than someone who
00:14:29.080 created an academy of around vision boards.
00:14:31.080 Now you're a conscientious person.
00:14:33.080 And therefore, before we did this interview, you asked me, what are we going to talk about?
00:14:36.080 And I said, let's talk about networking in this modern era, but I will give you credit.
00:14:42.080 You never once said, ask me this about my business.
00:14:45.080 Uh, what, what sort of topics are we going to hit?
00:14:49.080 You showed up genuinely ready to have a discussion representing yourself no matter what arrived.
00:14:54.080 And I think that's the key to this.
00:14:56.080 When you've got an elevator pitch and you're done with the elevator pitch and anybody has
00:15:00.080 any opposition, uh, anything to add, and you've closed that book, you suddenly are lost in
00:15:07.080 your own space.
00:15:08.080 Right.
00:15:09.080 Yes.
00:15:10.080 People know what they do.
00:15:11.080 People love what they do and they describe it best.
00:15:15.080 Right.
00:15:16.080 Right.
00:15:17.080 Yeah.
00:15:18.080 So, I mean, if you're on the receiving end of that, then my next question to that person
00:15:21.080 would be, you know, if they've, if they've delivered their pitch to me, I'd be like, amazing.
00:15:24.080 What do you love about it?
00:15:25.080 Or you must love that.
00:15:26.080 Right.
00:15:27.080 Or what does that do for you?
00:15:29.080 You know?
00:15:30.080 Cause it's so true because at that point they get into themselves participating in their dream.
00:15:36.080 Yes.
00:15:37.080 Their entrepreneurship.
00:15:38.080 Yes.
00:15:39.080 Yes.
00:15:40.080 And that's so, so key.
00:15:41.080 Uh, what do you recommend people think about when they're, you want to get out there and
00:15:47.080 network and, and by the way, that feels awkward for a lot of people, even salespeople don't
00:15:51.080 like to enter a room full of people they don't know.
00:15:53.080 Right.
00:15:54.080 Are there any key, uh, calm makers that you would recommend, uh, or advice to people going
00:16:01.080 into a networking scenario, maybe for the first time or in a different way?
00:16:05.080 Hmm.
00:16:06.080 I mean, first of all, I would say not every event is for everybody.
00:16:10.080 Right.
00:16:11.080 And so, um, look for events that you are going to resonate with, like even just the branding
00:16:18.080 of the event, the words of the event, like the description of the event that should tell
00:16:23.080 you a little bit more about the pictures around it.
00:16:25.080 Like that should tell you a little bit more about what, what it's going to be like.
00:16:29.080 Right.
00:16:30.080 Right.
00:16:31.080 So there's a reason why we use like, you know, very relaxed pictures of women.
00:16:35.080 They're not wearing like corporate suits.
00:16:37.080 They're like, you know, generally like dressed, you know, nice casual and, you know, they're
00:16:42.080 laughing and smiling and having coffee and engaged in conversation.
00:16:45.080 Yeah.
00:16:46.080 And a lot of it is our own photography, right.
00:16:48.080 Um, for that reason, but you know, all of that is very important.
00:16:51.080 So choose an event that is, that resonates with you.
00:16:53.080 Um, and you know, sometimes like for women, I know that they really love to enter spaces
00:17:00.080 that are all women so that they start to feel comfortable with networking.
00:17:04.080 Right.
00:17:05.080 Um, and then, you know, they can start to move into two events with both men and women.
00:17:09.080 But, um, I, I think it just really depends on it.
00:17:12.080 Does that resonate with you off the top?
00:17:14.080 And if the words are speaking to you, then go for it.
00:17:17.080 Ditch the pitch, but for goodness sake, get out there and network and build your business.
00:17:24.080 Natalie, thank you so much.
00:17:25.080 Where can people find out more about, uh, happy, healthy women?
00:17:30.080 HHWglobal.com and on Instagram as well.
00:17:32.080 Facebook.
00:17:33.080 I appreciate this.
00:17:34.080 Uh, thank you so much for joining us in here.
00:17:35.080 I have rehearsed this.
00:17:36.080 Please like subscribe, share it with a friend, dislike if you need to, but engage with us
00:17:42.080 and, uh, feel free to send your questions, comments along.
00:17:45.080 We do appreciate them and we'll catch you next time.
00:17:47.080 Bye.
00:17:55.080 Bye.