True Patriot Love - Holiday Depression Explained Through Charlie Brown

00:00:00.000 All right, Sim and I have a lot of fun in this, of course, Sim from HorizonWithin.ca and get to

00:00:09.240 your therapy needs. And the holidays, unfortunately, can accentuate one problem mentally for a lot of

00:00:14.980 people, and that's depression. It's no laughing matter. And depression can be really highlighted

00:00:19.900 through the stress and anxiety that comes in the holiday season, Sim.

00:00:23.220 Well, thanks for having me. And I agree with you that this is one of the most difficult

00:00:30.740 conversations for us to have, but I feel it's also the most important conversation to have

00:00:37.620 because the holidays bring a sense of longing and absence that affects us all. But depending

00:00:48.980 on what resources we have available and where we are in our lives allows us to work with

00:00:59.380 it. But the feeling of that I feel is common with all of us.

00:01:05.540 Is it a different sense that if you're a parent who lost a loved one, if you're someone who lost

00:01:12.500 a partner or spouse, or just because you feel alone in the holidays?

00:01:16.820 It's, it's a combination. Um, it could be very well where, you know, say you've had a partner

00:01:25.540 for many years and, and there were certain nuances that you did that were independent of you, but they

00:01:34.260 were part of the symmetry of both. Right. Right. So it could be, you know, let's assume that,

00:01:42.820 you know, Christmas morning bitch wear was, um, the glass of milk or the cookies. Right. Right. Right. 1.00

00:01:50.820 And now you have the absence of a partner or now you're in an old age home. Well, it's going to bring

00:01:56.580 on a different sense of longing because it's also that the realization that I no longer can do it,

00:02:05.300 but there's also the reminiscence. Right. And that's why this emotion needs a voice.

00:02:13.940 Because we all try our best to adjust to it. But I feel as collective, we don't talk about it

00:02:27.140 the way it should, which is in the rawness of it. How do I know if the person I love, my family member,

00:02:35.540 friend is depressed? That's what I struggle with. Can you walk me through something that would kind

00:02:41.460 of give me a scenario where you're, you had that question? I don't know if they're just

00:02:46.340 feeling grinchy that day or they're a little burned out or they're a little sad or they like,

00:02:51.220 I struggle with understanding the difference between maybe just having a bad day or they're

00:02:56.580 actually depressed. Um, so they, they're kind of very similar in terms of emotional reaction. Okay.

00:03:05.860 Because you could be depressed and burnt out, uh, but you could be burnt out and not be depressed.

00:03:17.700 And one of the, the simpler ways, that's a poor word to use, simpler, um, is to kind of like look at

00:03:25.940 it and go, okay, if I gave them something to recharge. So let's say, for example, is it someone

00:03:33.860 elder to you or somebody younger to kind of give me a reference plan?

00:03:36.660 I was more thinking after Robin Williams passed away, it came out that he suffered through a lot

00:03:41.380 of depression. Right. And like millions of people, I found him one of the most entertaining, funniest

00:03:46.900 human beings in the world. I never, I just, in my naive way, didn't think someone that funny and

00:03:52.500 entertaining could be depressed. But afterwards I found out he fought depression for years.

00:03:56.820 Um, Anthony Bourdain is another good example. Right. Exactly. Right. Um, brilliant. Bob Saget.

00:04:02.820 Right. Um, anyway, before we go, so I, I feel what you're asking is, is that how do you read beyond the

00:04:12.500 mask? Yes, exactly. Thank you. Uh, one, you gotta understand the relationship you have with that

00:04:21.060 person. Right. So if you're looking within your circle of, um, trust, right. And, you know, we're

00:04:31.620 looking at your most intimate circle and your most intimate circle is your nuclear family, right?

00:04:36.580 Regardless of the quality of relationship you have with the non, your, your first layer. Yes. As you 1.00

00:04:42.500 expand out, this is where like, you know, your social circle comes in and then you get your

00:04:46.260 environmental circle and then it expands out. So as an individual, if you kind of like said, okay,

00:04:53.220 you know what, um, I think a very good way to also frame this is let's assume that everyone in their

00:05:00.980 own way has a Charlie Brown Christmas. Oh, okay. Okay. So we all have this sense of disconnect

00:05:09.300 where in our own ways, we're kind of looking at and going, Lucy's doing this. Linus is doing this.

00:05:16.180 Peanuts is doing that. You know, and I'm feeling kind of like, where is the Christmas spirit? Where is

00:05:23.300 everybody? Right. Um, and if you say, okay, we all share that, but we may share it in different ways,

00:05:32.900 or we may see it differently. Right. So if we kind of like just use that one single example of the

00:05:38.100 spirit of Christmas, right. And, and look at it through a generational lens. Right. So if you look at

00:05:45.380 people that are like boomers, right, or them, it's the longing of Christmas past, more in the way it 0.99

00:05:52.020 was celebrated. Right. A very good example. And it's a very simple example. It's you had fireplaces

00:05:59.700 that you threw logs of wood in. Okay. Now that same individual in 2025 has to turn on a 70 inch LED.

00:06:09.380 Yeah. Well, for the virtual fireplace. Right. Yeah. And the way they're getting the sense is through the

00:06:15.780 Febreze wicks. Right. So their sense of nostalgic longing, depression. Right. It's very different

00:06:24.660 because the angle of the scent, because now you're bringing memories back. Right. Okay. You're the

00:06:32.260 observer. Right. If you look at it from a generation Xer, right. They're the Samish generation. Right. 1.00

00:06:38.660 Because now they're taking care of their parents and they're providing for the generations below. So, 0.53

00:06:45.060 you know, they may be, they may have had kids early. So now they're grandparents. So now all of a sudden

00:06:50.420 they are their parents. Right. But young enough to not be their parents' parents. Correct. Right.

00:06:59.380 But now how it has become a chore for them because they have to provide for everybody to create that

00:07:05.140 spirit. So their spirit of Christmas, the angle of descent is very different. Okay. That makes sense.

00:07:12.660 Right. Yeah. Now you go to the next generation, you go to generation, the millennials. Right.

00:07:18.420 They were coming into the digital age. Right. So this is like your late nineties kids. Right. Early 2000s.

00:07:24.660 So you were still in that analog kind of world. Right. Cell phones weren't big. You still went out.

00:07:30.580 You still did stuff. They're either at the age of with partners. They're at the age of very young

00:07:37.060 children. Their angle of descent is very different. You go one more over. Now, these are the children

00:07:46.020 of the millennials. Right. Or the, the late of the generation Xers. Right. For them, the Christmas,

00:07:53.460 the, the, the, the, um, the spirit of Christmas is the feeds. Right. Oh, look, you know, that family

00:08:02.340 is going to Mexico for Christmas and they're seeing all these pictures. Right. Their association is this

00:08:07.300 public display. Right. The last generation, they're completely like trying to figure themselves

00:08:13.940 out. Right. Because they're the great grandkids of the boomers. Right. Great, great grandkids of

00:08:18.420 the boomers. They're just trying to find a voice. They're trying to figure out what is Christmas. 0.79

00:08:22.740 Is Christmas how they market it, where it starts right after Halloween. Is that Christmas? It wasn't

00:08:29.140 Christmas. That wasn't Christmas for us because it was after remembrance day.

00:08:32.500 Yeah. Always. Right. Yeah. Christmas Bible thing with after remembrance. I mean,

00:08:38.500 everybody respected in Canada, it was respected until remembrance day. Now it's like Halloween

00:08:44.420 isn't made its way out. You start seeing. Yeah. So now when you look at it through, uh,

00:08:51.700 Charlie Brown, right. It's still that questioning of what is Christmas. So you're still experiencing

00:09:00.980 Charlie Brown. You're still understanding Charlie Brown. That's depression in its, in its, in its own

00:09:08.500 form. But so if you now coming back to the question you asked, how can you differentiate? Find the

00:09:14.500 generation. Right. Because you need a reference point. You can't generalize. You can't assume that

00:09:21.060 they are all feeling the same. They're sharing something in common. It's very different. We're sharing

00:09:27.780 something in common, but they're not feeling it in the same way. With someone 15, 45 or 75 could all be

00:09:36.020 depressed, but in different ways. Right. So a good way, a good way to do it. And this kind of allows you

00:09:43.860 then to ask a better question. Okay. So if you look at the feeling of depression, right, it's a sense of

00:09:50.500 heaviness. So one way to measure that is you go, okay, a one heavy, a two heavy, a three heavy,

00:10:01.140 or a four plus heavy. Okay. So now what a one heavy is, it's kind of like you're, you have an ability

00:10:08.580 to self-manage. Okay. So it doesn't matter whether it's the gen alpha and it doesn't matter whether it's

00:10:16.340 a boomer, right? There's that sense of, I can shake this off. You're not denying it. You're not

00:10:21.540 dismissing it. Right. You're not neglecting it. Okay. What you're saying is, so going back to the

00:10:27.060 cookies and the milk, right? Yes. The boomer will then kind of go, you know what, I miss it,

00:10:36.820 honor it, and then they're able to go and function. Not the one heavy. Okay. They felt it,

00:10:42.820 they experienced it, but they were able to re-regulate on their own without any intervention.

00:10:48.980 Okay. Same thing with, um, take a, take a Gen Xer, right? It'd be like, it is that, you know what,

00:10:57.780 I'm going to do something that I enjoy during Christmas. Right. So you could be like,

00:11:02.340 you get up at early in the morning, you take your three sips of coffee, whatever you take in the thing

00:11:06.420 and you go, okay, I'm good. That's your one heavy. So you're still feeling it, but you have your one.

00:11:13.300 Your two heavy is you're a little bit more, uh, resource dependent. Okay. Okay. Now what that means

00:11:20.340 is that you may need, um, you're conveying it. It's all this about communication. So you may turn

00:11:25.780 around and say, you know what, I need an hour in the morning, but you're too heavy because it could

00:11:32.100 be something like, um, there was a, something personal in that experience that you're missing.

00:11:37.940 Well, you want to honor that experience, but you can't be around people. You need your Utah. So that's

00:11:42.420 a two heavy, uh, two heavy, uh, Charlie Brown depression. Got it. You're three heavy. That's

00:11:49.380 where you need actual support. So you could be, uh, now having direct intervention. So it's kind of like,

00:11:56.740 you know what kids, we have to go to Gramps Christmas afternoon, spend three hours with them.

00:12:03.220 That's a three heavy where individually you're like, look, I need support. So you're working with a mental

00:12:10.980 health professional or, you know, you're relying on your family where you're a young generation. So

00:12:15.940 you could be a gen Z and for you, it's a three heavy. And as a parent, you're like, listen, uh, we're

00:12:24.100 going to do a two o'clock timeout. I'm going to make sure we have to, that's a three heavy. Okay.

00:12:29.780 Four heavy and pass, that's individual. It's complex. Uh, it requires a conversation that's unique

00:12:37.140 to the situation. And then based on that, then we guide and support. We can then find ways on how

00:12:45.380 you can stay in one heavy when you need to, in two heavy, when you need to, in three heavy, you need

00:12:50.260 to and four heavy plus when you need to. Well, and that leads us to something very important we

00:12:55.700 should discuss. It's essential to know how you feel or how well you can work with it, pay attention to

00:13:01.300 your thoughts and coping responses. And the way you talked about it, you can't ignore it, especially if

00:13:06.260 you're two, three, four plus ignoring it is not good. Um, look for signs of avoidance, anxiety,

00:13:11.940 dependence and substances to numb the feelings. And there are signs that speaking to a mental health

00:13:16.660 professional are worth considering. Uh, it, it, I, this is one of the reasons I like talking to Sam

00:13:22.980 is understanding that and, and to just think I'm going to drink and drug it away and I'll feel better

00:13:28.500 could be very dangerous, potentially lethal for someone, but actually taking a few moments to talk

00:13:33.780 to someone like you could be that, that mental shift that really takes the four, three and two

00:13:39.860 away from you. Or gives you the tool. And I, and I absolutely agree with that, you know, that statement

00:13:45.140 that you shared and I, and thank you for that. Um, what it does is what I'm trying to hope is, is that,

00:13:52.420 you know, now, you know, you can ask them first of the conversation. And so everybody kind of goes,

00:13:57.620 okay, what are the one look to me with two or three. Okay. So now as the person that wants to

00:14:04.420 make sure that everybody's having a good Christmas because you want to be that gracious host. Right.

00:14:08.820 And remember, this is valid only within your first two spheres of interaction to your inner core and

00:14:14.020 your first outer core of your social, the further out you go, it's a bit heavy because they're not

00:14:18.420 going to be like, Oh, I feel like a two today because you won't have the tools to help them with.

00:14:21.780 But within your inner circle, you know, you can then say, Hey, one or two like, listen,

00:14:29.460 I'm a two, you know what to do. Right. Or if they go, you know, they may now all of a sudden

00:14:35.380 find a way and feel comfortable and they go, Hey, you know what? I've been hesitating on having

00:14:39.300 this conversation, but you know, more often than not, I sit at three. No, you know what to do.

00:14:46.340 Cause to me, the worst thing soon is for someone to say when they're like,

00:14:49.780 Oh, just snap out of it. It's the holidays. Just stop thinking like that.

00:14:53.300 Because we don't have the tools to retort with it. So we kind of get overwhelmed because we do

00:14:57.140 have a desire to help, whether we are in a professional community like myself or in an

00:15:01.860 individual capacity like yourself. But now you have both, you know, when you're looking at it,

00:15:07.780 you know, as a Charlie Brown Christmas, you go, okay, everybody has this. We match it to the

00:15:13.380 generation and you go, you know what? The sense of longing changes. What is it? We meet them there.

00:15:19.780 Right. You have this other countermeasuring tool of weight of heaviness, but we communicate that

00:15:23.780 with you and they'll go, you know what? I'm a one, two. You're like, okay, because that's part of the

00:15:27.460 season. Right. And then you just offer that I'm here if you need me. But if they go, you know, I'm

00:15:33.780 two, I need you around. And you're like, I know what to do because now you guys are meeting where you

00:15:37.940 need to meet because you've communicated. There's a sense of understanding. You're not guessing

00:15:42.900 because that's where it becomes difficult because then you're probing where you're asking questions.

00:15:48.340 They may not be able to communicate. It compounds. It turns into frustration where, you know, internally

00:15:52.900 you're like, I can't do nothing right. They go, nobody can help me. And it's just a spin spiral.

00:15:58.740 This tool allows communication with clarity. And to me, you know, I really appreciate the opportunity to

00:16:05.220 have this conversation because it kind of gives both parties a way to communicate that is

00:16:11.140 understandable by all because you're using a singular left reference point, which is a Charlie

00:16:18.260 Brown Christmas. Because not everyone understands depression or understands how to help someone with

00:16:24.420 it, do they? No, because we don't openly speak about it. Right. Right. It's like, like when we talked

00:16:30.580 about it, I think, uh, uh, an episode or two back about the ability that it's okay to feel like a

00:16:35.780 Grinch. Right. But we don't, we don't, because we have to put on this buddy, the elf face. It's no one's

00:16:41.940 fault. It's, it's basically what they're saying is that there's an opportunity to celebrate, but there's

00:16:46.820 also an opportunity for discussion. Thank you, Seth. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

00:16:51.380 Absolutely. Thank you.

True Patriot Love - December 24, 2025

Holiday Depression Explained Through Charlie Brown

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