True Patriot Love - November 20, 2025


How to Overcome Fear and Find True Happiness


Episode Stats

Length

44 minutes

Words per Minute

203.65115

Word Count

9,114

Sentence Count

535

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hi, I'm Teresa Greco, the host of The Happy Hour, where we talk about the things that can help us
00:00:15.860 to live our happiest lives physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Now, I'm so excited
00:00:22.560 to welcome my guest on the show today, Dr. Georgette Zinotti, and we're going to be having an amazing
00:00:29.980 conversation, but I'm going to let her share more about herself with you.
00:00:33.340 So, I'm going to do my 15-second introduction that I encourage women to think about introducing
00:00:39.100 when they do themselves. So, Dr. Georgette Zinotti, I am the CEO and founder of Women Helping Empower
00:00:44.620 Women, which is a nonprofit. I also have my own business where I do consultancy, public speaking,
00:00:49.900 keynotes, and so forth. In addition to that, I've done a couple of TEDx talks. I've been published
00:00:55.100 in Forbes multiple times. I've got some recognition, which I'm really proud of for the work that I do
00:00:59.900 in community, published a couple of books, and I'm really passionate about helping support women,
00:01:05.900 in particular, with startups and getting them to scale their businesses. So, thank you for having
00:01:10.140 me here today.
00:01:11.260 And now you understand why you have this amazing woman with me on the show.
00:01:16.380 Thank you. You're so sweet.
00:01:17.260 So, yeah. Thank you so much for being with us.
00:01:18.540 Thank you for having me. I'm excited about what you're doing. I feel like we should be
00:01:21.500 having martinis for happy hour.
00:01:23.260 Yeah. Yeah, I know, right? That's what you think. But this is about us connecting with our
00:01:28.300 inner happiness without any of those things.
00:01:30.380 Without those other things.
00:01:31.660 Yes.
00:01:31.980 That's right. Happy hour with coffee. That's right.
00:01:35.820 So, I'd love to start off by talking with you about the things that you feel hold people back
00:01:41.500 from living their happiest lives.
00:01:44.860 Yeah. So, that's a great question. I think for many people, it's the fear, right? What I call false
00:01:51.340 evidence appearing real fear. So, the fear of doing the things that they really want to do, the things
00:01:57.660 that align with their purpose. I think too many people don't really know what their purpose is.
00:02:02.460 It takes time to figure that out. Like if you're 20, sometimes you're lucky enough to know what that
00:02:07.100 is. But if you don't, it's figuring out purpose. And then getting rid of the mindset and the barriers
00:02:13.180 of why you can't do something and really kind of leaning into what you think you can.
00:02:18.460 And then there's, you know, surrounding yourself with good people. You know, we've talked about this
00:02:22.380 a bit before. You know, who's your circle? Who's that really close inner circle? Are they your
00:02:27.900 champions? Are they the ones saying, yes, Teresa, I'm so proud of you. Keep going. It could be your
00:02:33.100 family, which is, you know, great and often is. But then what else does that network look like? And are
00:02:38.860 they being champions and the ones opening doors to shine your best light forward? So, I think that's
00:02:43.900 what tends to hold people back. I think a lot of it is fear or self-confidence. You know, I hate the word
00:02:48.860 imposter syndrome, but the imposter syndrome piece and not necessarily knowing where you want to go.
00:02:54.300 So there's a lot there. So let's start with fear. Let's dive into that one a little bit more.
00:02:59.900 So even though it is just false evidence appearing real to us, that for me, if I think about it's even
00:03:08.300 fear like that holds me back today, even after all the work that I've done. But we have this internal
00:03:14.460 voice that keeps us stuck, that keeps us limited, that keeps us playing small. And that I use this
00:03:22.540 analogy and it comes from from religion that I grew up Catholic. And, you know, they talk about this,
00:03:28.780 you know, devil and angel on your shoulder. But I really think of those two voices as like my limited
00:03:36.220 ego self and then my God self on the other shoulder and the God self, which is my spiritual self,
00:03:42.860 that is always saying to me, Teresa, you're awesome. You're incredible. You're magnificent.
00:03:47.900 You're powerful. You're creative. You're limitless. You can do all the things that you want. And then
00:03:53.740 I have this voice that says, yeah, well, Teresa, you know, it didn't work out for you the last time.
00:03:59.100 Oh, well, you know that, you know, people aren't calling you for that. Oh, well, it's always this
00:04:04.620 little voice. And that voice is one that in order for us to start making changes, we need to become
00:04:10.780 aware of that voice even to begin with. And that at the very beginning of my journey,
00:04:16.940 I thought that's who I was. Like, I didn't even know about this voice, even though I grew up like
00:04:22.300 connected to God my entire life. Nobody told me about that little angel that is actually my higher
00:04:29.740 self, my inner being, the one that's always rooting me on. But that voice is so small. And yet the voice of
00:04:37.660 the world is the one that seems so big because of all of that programming and conditioning.
00:04:43.500 Yeah. So do you know that the average person has about 80,000 thoughts a day and most of them are
00:04:48.300 negative? So a lot of us have this negative self-talk. So if you're not aware of it, you're
00:04:53.660 going to be on that side of the shoulder thinking, I can't do this, all these things that are going to
00:04:58.300 hold you back. And so if you're aware of that, it's a little bit easier to say, I'm going to,
00:05:03.820 you know, you catch yourself. I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus. Think about
00:05:06.940 all the good things that I do. Think about all the success, the successes that I've had.
00:05:11.660 And, you know, I told you I wrote two books. My books were called Why Not You? So people say,
00:05:16.300 why did you call that? I said, because I cannot tell you how many times I would sit across from
00:05:19.500 women in particular, and they would literally tell me all the reasons they could not do something.
00:05:24.940 I was literally interviewing a woman who was recommended for a job by somebody I respect highly.
00:05:31.740 As I'm talking about the job, she said, well, you know, I don't think, and I said,
00:05:35.980 Terry, are you seriously telling me you don't think you could do this job? And she said, yeah,
00:05:39.740 I'm not sure I'm ready. And I said, but the person that I respect who's in this particular area in
00:05:44.140 communications at the time thought you were fantastic. Yeah, I'm not sure. And I went, okay,
00:05:48.460 you're talking yourself out of a job that somebody basically said, look at her. And we were a small
00:05:54.860 company. And so I just said, I think you, we have to really think about when you catch yourself when you're
00:05:59.340 doing that and say, well, why am I saying that to myself? Do I do good things? Yes.
00:06:02.540 So I love the fact that you said how you started about all the great things about yourself. And
00:06:07.260 those are things that I think people should write down more often and remind themselves. I did this.
00:06:12.060 I did this. I did this. You know, I said to you, when I did my introduction, I think before we
00:06:17.100 officially started, I was in a company where somebody said to me, you know, I was doing a training.
00:06:21.900 And then I got a call from a woman, an older lady saying, well, you know,
00:06:25.580 you really need to tone down that introduction. And I thought, huh. And I sort of asked why it's
00:06:31.420 like, you know, we just, you know, want to be a little bit more modest. And I thought, well,
00:06:35.100 I could be, but I'm not sure it's about being modest or humble or not humble. Those are facts.
00:06:40.460 Those are accomplishments. Those are things I did while raising a family, working full time,
00:06:46.140 getting five degrees and doing it all really well. So I'm pretty proud of that actually. So if that makes
00:06:52.460 that other person feel uncomfortable, they need to do the work to ask themselves why that is,
00:06:56.540 because that's not a me problem. That's a you problem. And as I said to you, if it was
00:07:00.700 an executive vice president or very senior person at a bank or some other institution that was a man,
00:07:06.460 would you ever tell a man to minimize themselves? No. So when it goes back to fear, it's kind of
00:07:11.980 knowing who you are, which I think is what you were talking about. Yeah, I sort of said, I've done the
00:07:15.420 work. I kind of, this is, but this side of me, but there's this other part that's asking all these
00:07:20.060 questions and saying, why not? And all the reasons why I can't do things. And I think if you're aware
00:07:25.100 of it, that's really important. And the other part that I think is really important about what you
00:07:29.740 said is, you know, there's a statistic that says 95% of people think they're self-aware, but the actual
00:07:36.540 number is 15%. So what you just talked about, sort of the left and right shoulder, is that awareness
00:07:44.300 that you've been working on, which I think gives you an advantage, whether you realize it or not.
00:07:48.620 Because when you hear that negative voice, you catch yourself, you know exactly what it is,
00:07:52.780 and you can lean into the positive voice. But if you're a woman that's on the other side,
00:07:57.500 you're not seeing the, I'm good. I deserve to be here. I've earned it. And that's really hard.
00:08:03.420 Yes. And it led me to the lowest point of my life, because the only voice that I heard
00:08:08.220 was the limited one. And that it was always tearing me up, criticizing me, limiting me,
00:08:15.500 sabotaging me with all of the same things that you're saying that the women that you work with
00:08:22.460 and try to empower, it's identifying that voice. But I thought that's all that I was.
00:08:29.500 What was the turning point for you? So for me, it was the milestone of turning 40
00:08:34.620 that had me taking a step back and reevaluating my life. So I think we have that crossroad moment
00:08:40.540 that's brought on by many different things, right? A loss, a death, an illness. For me,
00:08:46.380 it was just that. I took that step back and I looked at my life and it looked perfect.
00:08:52.460 I had achieved all the things that family, society, culture, and religion told me I needed to have a
00:08:58.060 happy life. So fulfilling career as an educator, beautiful in our own home, healthy family, cars
00:09:05.340 in the driveway, vacations a year, lots of beautiful material things. So if my life literally checked off
00:09:11.180 all the boxes, how is it that I still felt unhappy and unfulfilled? And it didn't matter how much more
00:09:16.620 education I got, how much more I tried to help people through my work. I always felt like, is this
00:09:22.700 all there is to life where you get up, you go to work, you come home and it's eat, sleep, repeat?
00:09:29.100 And I'm like, could I imagine living the same life for the next 40 years if I had arrived at half my
00:09:35.340 life at that point? And I'm like, I can't. And then I didn't talk about it with anyone
00:09:42.380 for fear of loss of love and rejection. Because if I were to say something to someone, you know,
00:09:47.340 Teresa, what do you have to complain about? Your life looks perfect.
00:09:51.740 But yet on the inside, I feel so unhappy and then not talking about it. So that has become so much
00:09:58.940 part of my message that it is so important for us to find those people who we think that we can talk
00:10:04.700 to you like those, those maybe that trusted friend or family member, instead of suffering in silence,
00:10:10.700 because I perpetuated those lies in my head to an even greater degree, where I believe nobody loved
00:10:17.900 me like my parents, my, my husband, my, my siblings. It was all lies. And, and, you know, I talk about
00:10:26.460 this in my TEDx talk too, that's entitled Does Money Buy Happiness? This spiraling into this very deep
00:10:33.260 and dark hole that at that point, when you're at your rock bottom, you have no right to go up.
00:10:39.820 Yeah, that's interesting. So tell me what the work looked like for you.
00:10:44.300 It was years of really deep healing. So when we go to a circle back to this discussion,
00:10:51.900 is that because I wasn't loving myself, I didn't know what that was. I was looking for love outside
00:10:58.940 myself and, and everybody else, and then always feeling disappointed that nobody loved me the
00:11:05.740 way that I, that I wanted them to, but I wasn't loving myself at all. And all the things outside
00:11:11.900 my life that I had problems with, were all stemming from the problems I had within myself, that our
00:11:18.700 external environment is only ever a reflection of our internal one. And so when I started to realize
00:11:25.740 and do the work, so you said, what did that look like? So for me that, that very, because what
00:11:30.620 happened actually was, I had questions of those questions that I said of my life, felt that no,
00:11:37.020 I couldn't talk to anybody. And I'm like, only God's going to be able to help me. So I went to see a
00:11:41.820 medium, and this is over 10 years ago. And I said, I have questions I need to hear, I need to know.
00:11:48.220 And she said, Spirit is telling me you need to meditate. Now, over 10 years ago, meditation was not so
00:11:54.300 cool as it is now. And so it was weird and woo woo. And I actually couldn't end up, even though
00:12:01.580 I was reaping the benefits of that practice, and I wanted to shout it on the rooftops to tell
00:12:07.260 everybody, oh my God, this is something that you don't know about. I had to practice it also in
00:12:13.420 silence and then found this meditation community and all of that. But it helped me to find a part of
00:12:19.180 myself that I didn't know about, which was that spiritual self, that infinite eternal part of me.
00:12:25.980 But that inner voice that was always there, always cheering me on, loving me, appreciating me,
00:12:34.620 and saying all those things that I wasn't even aware of, because I was only aware of the louder
00:12:41.100 external voice. Yeah. You know, it's funny when I work, you know, I do a lot of coaching with people,
00:12:45.340 as you know, when I talk to, to my clients, to women, men, all, you know, I do, you know, everyone,
00:12:53.420 but specifically I say, I want you to think about and write down, you know, do you keep a journal?
00:12:59.020 People are like, oh, I don't, you know, I don't journal. I'm like, you don't have to write
00:13:02.060 every little thing you're feeling, but do you write down your accomplishments? Do you write down,
00:13:06.700 today was a good day, boy, today I knocked this out of the park, or I got these compliments, or someone said
00:13:11.740 something? And just, just these little points of affirmation remind you externally what people
00:13:18.060 think, right? And then it's funny, you said 40, and I remember when I turned 40, I was being
00:13:23.820 interviewed for a job. And I remember thinking, oh, I know what they're going to expect me to look
00:13:29.020 like for this role. And I thought, I'm a little funky, as you can probably tell. And so I thought,
00:13:34.620 you know, I'm going to, I remember thinking about the outfit and I had like this little bit of like
00:13:39.340 funkiness to it. And I thought, okay, if, if I show up and this makes them uncomfortable,
00:13:44.140 then it's probably not the right place for me, to be honest with you. And, and so, I mean,
00:13:48.940 I did get the job and they were okay with it, but I mean, I didn't come in with like, I mean,
00:13:53.180 I came in businessy, but with just a little flair, um, because I thought I need to bring myself to
00:13:59.580 work. I know exactly who I am. And I remember it was fun. I had like six interviews and 10 reference
00:14:05.100 checks for the job. And the last interview I had was a one-on-one with the person hiring me.
00:14:09.180 It was very senior role. And I remember saying, it was just sort of a kind of two couches, coffee,
00:14:14.220 just talking very informal. And I said to him, I just want to tell you something about me. Uh,
00:14:20.300 I'm going to always tell you what I think. It's going to be in your best interest. You may not always
00:14:24.940 like it, but it's going to be in your interest and the best interest of the organization.
00:14:29.100 So if you're okay with that, I'm your girl. And if not, you should probably go on to the next
00:14:33.900 candidate. And I remember so telling my partner and he went, are you insane? I know you're going
00:14:38.780 to lose the job. And I thought, no, you know, if I do, then it's probably not the job for me.
00:14:43.740 If that, if they just want a yes person, because that's really not who I am.
00:14:47.340 And I'm pretty open about that. And I don't think I come across as that, but just in case,
00:14:51.500 and they gave me the job and, and, uh, you know, it was lots of success, but, but the people I worked
00:14:56.540 with, I found, especially the men that I worked with were quite okay. You know, as I realized I'm here,
00:15:03.180 but there's trust and I am looking out for the, we're fine with it. You know, women were a little
00:15:07.900 bit harder, but I know you've experienced the same thing. Um, but we're coming along. And that's
00:15:12.060 actually one of the reasons I created Women Helping Empower Women was to say like, how do I help other
00:15:16.300 women address those insecurities? How do I help them scale? How do I help them get to see themselves
00:15:22.140 the way I see them? Cause I see potential in people. I don't see the negative. And it's not like I have
00:15:27.020 rose colored glasses, you know, it's just more, I want, I can see something in you that maybe you can't see in
00:15:31.820 yourself. So let me help you channel that to do better and be where you want to be. Yeah. It's
00:15:36.620 beautiful. And all that inner work. So that, that self love piece for me was that I wasn't loving,
00:15:43.900 honoring or respecting myself. And therefore I felt like the external environment was always not doing
00:15:50.700 that, not respecting me, not honoring me. You know, but Teresa, I wonder if it's, you know,
00:15:55.660 we have been raised as women to give. Yeah. Right. And I tell people, if you think about
00:16:03.340 just how people are conditioned, I'm going to say North America. Okay. Just, uh, you know,
00:16:08.940 girls, you're supposed to be liked. Right. When you think about, I tell people, think about this.
00:16:14.860 When we think about men and women, how we have beauty pageants, they don't have beauty pageants for men.
00:16:20.700 Who's the prettiest. We have Miss Congeniality, right? Miss Photogenic. It's all about sort of
00:16:25.580 those things. Guys, what do you have? You have the quarterback. Even if you don't like the quarterback
00:16:29.580 in a football game, you still support the quarterback. So the team wins. We don't get conditioned that way.
00:16:34.940 I mean, women, girls in sports do better because they're, that's a different mindset. But if you're not
00:16:38.780 in those sort of competitive sports, we're conditioned to be nice, play nice. And then what happens
00:16:45.020 when there's only, who gets crowned? Only one winner. So what happens? We all pretend to be nice. Like,
00:16:49.420 Oh yeah, I'm so happy for her. But are you? And so I don't think that we set the conditions from
00:16:55.580 early on. So how we, I think, create the, you know, our generations, like at my house,
00:16:59.820 I have my daughter and two boys. There's equal treatment. I was very conscientious of that in
00:17:05.820 our household so that there isn't that, that kind of the uneven level playing field. But it also,
00:17:12.300 I think, sets the stage of how we see ourselves as women and how we see others. And that's the
00:17:18.460 reflection. So, you know, part of it is that validation that we're looking for. And I'm
00:17:22.220 thinking, do you really need that? Like who's validating you at the end of the day?
00:17:25.980 Right. And you've figured out that you don't need that as much. But I think as we grew up,
00:17:31.100 the idea was that validation needs to come from other people, right? They have to like us. So
00:17:35.100 they say, Oh, Teresa is so sweet. Oh, she's so kind. But the thing is, if they're taking and not
00:17:39.660 giving, then those are not people that you want in your life. And it's okay if you just want to give
00:17:44.220 and you're at a space and maybe that's the space you're in now because your cup is
00:17:47.900 overflowing. But when your cup isn't, it's a lot harder to do.
00:17:50.860 And that's why it's so important for us to do the work. Like you said, what work did you do?
00:17:55.260 Yeah. So that was that was that very first practice. But then there were a whole bunch of
00:18:00.140 life coaching courses that I do, I did, that ended up all helping me to become more aware of
00:18:07.900 like some of that, that those shadows inside and those limiting beliefs. And I think of all aspects
00:18:14.620 of ourself, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self, that that mental part is the part
00:18:20.620 that I feel like is so strong, right, that it's it's constantly on, it's constantly talking inside
00:18:27.660 of our head about, you know, what we have to do next or, or, and, and for a lot of people keeping
00:18:33.740 us in the past, yeah, right, instead of instead of helping us to move forward and in the direction
00:18:39.180 that we want to go. And that's where I feel like coaching is so different, right? Then let's say
00:18:43.740 therapy and counseling that seems to be so much about, you know, healing, what happened to us in the past,
00:18:51.020 that, but I feel like if we put too much emphasis on that, instead of taking away the learning that
00:18:57.500 we're supposed to take from those situations, but keeping us in that space, instead of recognizing
00:19:04.940 all that came out of those experiences that can help now, because we're still standing here,
00:19:10.380 right, we're here in this moment, despite all of those things, how do we, how do we harness that
00:19:17.420 strength and courage and wisdom that we gain to be able to move us in that direction? And, you know,
00:19:23.500 yes, being aware of that fear, but what would you say that can help us to do that? Now, how do we,
00:19:30.060 how do we move forward, even despite of all of our, like, mistakes and regrets and trauma and a lot of
00:19:37.420 things that people want that they want? I don't know if they want it to hold them back, but it does.
00:19:43.580 It absolutely does. So look, I think there's so many things you talked about that I think are
00:19:48.940 really interesting. So there's the understanding and the work and the therapy. And I think that's
00:19:54.700 great because often some of that speaks to the underlying behaviors of how, of where you are and
00:20:00.140 why you're stuck to use your word from earlier. So when I work with people and I do coaching,
00:20:05.100 I talk about, well, what do you want to do? Like, where do you want to go? What does that actually
00:20:09.900 look like? And then how do you create the conditions to get you there? And most people
00:20:16.220 will say, like, when I've done this in groups, people say, oh, I want a promotion. Like, okay,
00:20:19.660 great, Teresa. What does that look like? Oh, I want to be a director. Director of what?
00:20:25.180 In the organization. How far was that? Well, if I set you in 18 months, could you get there?
00:20:29.820 How would you get there? And they're like, I don't know. I'm like, okay. So if you don't know,
00:20:32.940 you're not going to get there. It's a lottery. Right. But if you say, this is the role I would
00:20:38.460 like, then let's work on how we get you there. So for example, you know, I'm working with a client
00:20:44.380 who, you know, he knew the opportunity was coming and I was like, okay, great. So we did some coaching
00:20:52.060 and it wasn't like we needed, you know, 30 years of coaching. It was literally 10 sessions, but it was,
00:20:57.900 let's talk about how you're showing up. Let's talk about your communication skills. Let's talk about how
00:21:02.460 you're presenting. Let's talk about how you're providing information to people above you
00:21:07.340 and change that so that when the role comes up, you're set. And now he's at that point where I
00:21:13.020 was getting, I caught a call last week and I'm like, he said, you're not going to believe what
00:21:16.140 happened. I'm like, I believe what happened because I could see the difference and he saw the difference.
00:21:21.420 His boss saw the difference. So I say to people, if you want to think about where you're going,
00:21:26.300 coaching is really where it can help you to develop that. But I think really like you want to get a good
00:21:31.420 coach. There's lots of coaches. You want to get a good coach who can say to you, not like, oh,
00:21:35.660 tell me Teresa. So what's happening? I mean, that's almost therapy and maybe that's what you want.
00:21:42.540 But if you want a progressive way to move, then you need someone who's going to hold you a little
00:21:47.020 bit accountable and work on what a plan could look like and then what the pieces are in place to get
00:21:52.460 there. So if I think about what the journey you just described, you did a lot of that for yourself.
00:21:56.860 I mean, it's taken time, but you've done that, but you did that yourself. So most people are stuck
00:22:02.860 because they can't figure out how to do that for themselves. So you really sometimes need to work
00:22:06.140 with someone to help you plan that through, but thinking about, well, what does that roadmap look
00:22:11.260 like? Who do I need to connect with to get there? How do I leverage my network? How do I change maybe how
00:22:17.260 I'm coming across to get to where I want? Maybe there's certain sectors that are a good fit for me.
00:22:21.740 Maybe certain sectors are not a good for me. Maybe people don't like someone with blonde,
00:22:25.180 curly hair. I don't know. And if that makes you uncomfortable, maybe that's not the place I need
00:22:29.980 to work. So all of those things, all of those things, I think, come into play.
00:22:34.780 And what you just said reminded me of something that you said earlier, that if you went in with
00:22:41.260 that particular outfit and they weren't going to be keen on you just because of that, that that's
00:22:47.340 probably not your space. And that I think as we continue to live more authentically,
00:22:54.300 and I didn't know who that was, that really at that milestone of turning 40,
00:22:58.540 I realized that I had lost myself in the living of my life, that I actually didn't know who I was.
00:23:03.980 You have kids, right? Yes, I do. So by the time you were 40, you had two kids. And how old were they?
00:23:12.300 They were young. So they were sucking up a bunch of your time. So it's not just having kids. They
00:23:18.700 probably were in activities, there was school, there was homework. So you literally were just
00:23:23.660 overflowing with giving and very little for yourself. So I find that's actually a turning
00:23:30.620 point for a lot of women because at that point, the kids are a bit more dependent, independent.
00:23:34.700 You don't need to be changing diapers and all of that. And then that's where you're like, okay,
00:23:38.860 I mean, you recognize there's going to be more coming up. And so now what? Is this all you're
00:23:45.020 going to do? And for some people, maybe that's what makes them happy and good for you. But if there's
00:23:49.900 more to you, and obviously there is, then that's really, I think, where your challenge is because
00:23:53.660 your identity was at risk. Like you were losing your identity.
00:23:57.660 I was. It was all cut up in my roles and responsibilities. It's like, who's Teresa?
00:24:02.620 Well, Teresa's the mom and Teresa's the educator. And I'm the wife and I'm the daughter-in-law.
00:24:07.580 Like it was all me and me wearing many different masks, right? It was like, well,
00:24:12.940 who do I have to be at work? And who do I be with like his family and my family?
00:24:15.420 But Teresa, think about it. When you meet somebody, how do people identify normally?
00:24:19.660 You meet someone at a function, you go, Hey, how are you? My name is Teresa. You go,
00:24:22.860 Great, Teresa. And that's the first question. What do you do? Like, why, you know, they say,
00:24:26.780 Oh, I brought you to this event, maybe. Or they might say, So what do you do?
00:24:30.940 And people say, Oh, I'm in banking or I'm an analyst or I'm in whatever.
00:24:34.860 Yeah. So we define ourselves nine times out of 10 by the jobs, which is why when people lose their
00:24:40.940 jobs, they often lose their identity. And they're very, I mean, it's very difficult for them. But if
00:24:45.980 you don't identify by what you do and more about who you are, then that's just the holding place.
00:24:53.660 It was a place where you contributed and you can move on and it makes it much easier. But if you're
00:24:58.140 identifying yourself by that one role or the place that you work, that's very difficult. I had a
00:25:03.020 friend of mine where her husband was in a company for 20 years and then was let go during COVID.
00:25:08.540 Two years of depression. I mean, it was really brutal.
00:25:11.100 Wow.
00:25:11.820 But it was because they spent their entire, that was their, that was their identity.
00:25:16.220 So I think for you, what, you know, what I love about your story is that you recognized
00:25:21.180 that was a bit lost and then you found it and now you're honing in and now you're sharing it with
00:25:25.900 others to say, here's what I've learned.
00:25:27.820 Yeah.
00:25:28.620 Let me share that knowledge and help you do better.
00:25:31.100 So I love that.
00:25:31.740 And, and I have to always check in with myself, right?
00:25:35.260 That I have to say, is this something that really aligns with me?
00:25:38.860 Do these people align with me?
00:25:41.020 Do these spaces align?
00:25:42.380 And I feel like the more that we honor ourselves in that way, that, you know,
00:25:48.620 with the law of attraction and just the energy that we put out, that we, we will then attract
00:25:53.900 more of that, which we are. So we find more of those people, like how I found you, right?
00:25:59.500 That are of the, that are vibrating at that same frequency as us, right?
00:26:03.820 That they are also working on at that same energy field, let's say.
00:26:08.540 And that I, and my life just continues to get happier and better when I continue to honor me,
00:26:15.100 right? Because we're always emitting a signal.
00:26:18.220 And if that signal is our true and authentic self.
00:26:21.260 So I get this question around relationships where people say, well,
00:26:24.700 I can't seem to find the perfect person, or I'm attracting all of this like
00:26:29.820 stuff that I really don't want.
00:26:31.500 And it's like, well, what signal are you putting out, right?
00:26:36.380 Because you are then a magnet for that of that same signal.
00:26:40.540 So if you don't like what's showing up around you, think about what, what are you radiating?
00:26:46.380 Yeah.
00:26:47.100 Right?
00:26:47.500 Yeah.
00:26:48.060 Yeah.
00:26:48.380 I would say it's interesting.
00:26:49.740 So there's that, and there's a sense of, you know, you probably have to take a pause
00:26:53.660 and do that self-reflection, because there is something about how you're showing up for
00:26:57.740 others that's attracting them to you.
00:27:00.220 Right?
00:27:00.780 So I think that's, that's really good.
00:27:02.140 And I think too, you know what, when you have a certain energy, there's people that
00:27:05.020 actually love that and get attracted to it.
00:27:07.900 And, you know, we talked about this a little bit earlier.
00:27:11.020 I do think that when you're doing great work and you're rising, there's going to be people
00:27:15.500 that are just going to be loving that and want to be in that glow.
00:27:20.060 You know, I think I said to you, you get this light, Sean.
00:27:22.700 There's this glow that people just want to be in that warmth and that, that sun.
00:27:26.860 And there are going to be people that are not going to be happy to be in the shadow of that.
00:27:31.740 And then there's people sort of further removed that are looking up at that and going,
00:27:34.780 I love that, right? So I think, you know, what's very difficult, particularly for women,
00:27:41.180 is trying to navigate through those who are just happy to be in that warmth and glow and love
00:27:46.060 and adore what you're doing. Those who are in the shadow going, eh, that's a them problem.
00:27:51.980 And then those who are further away going, I love, I love what she's doing and she's so great
00:27:56.380 and I admire that and I want to figure out how can I be like you. And so I think if we can sort
00:28:01.500 of see those layers, we can navigate things a bit better and help others that way too.
00:28:06.620 And then think about how we use that energy and the energy that we attract and the energy we might
00:28:10.620 say, I'm going to just put you on hold for a little while.
00:28:13.340 Yeah, thank you. And so for anyone that might be listening and is, you know, some of what we're
00:28:19.820 talking about is resonating with them. What are maybe some strategies that you might encourage them to
00:28:26.700 maybe start implementing in their life so that they can recognize some of these amazing qualities
00:28:32.860 within themselves? And, and to have that, that voice of their, of their inner, their higher,
00:28:39.900 their higher self or that their inner being start to speak a little bit more loudly to them where it
00:28:45.820 is that we're all magnificent and extraordinary rather than the, the one that seems to be shouting,
00:28:52.860 but often shouting a lot of negativity and yeah. So, you know, first of all, I'm going to say,
00:28:57.900 I think there's a lot from the things that you said, you know, you talked about reflection,
00:29:03.500 you talked about self-awareness, you talked about doing the work, you talked about my meditation,
00:29:09.820 but I know you also said you have faith. You talked about nature to me, you know, so those are all
00:29:15.100 really important things that ground us and I think are important. So I would say all of those.
00:29:20.300 I'd also say on a, like on a more, I'm going to say for lack of a, I'm going to put practical in
00:29:25.260 quotes here, but I think when you're thinking about all of that and how do you do that, there's a bit
00:29:31.260 of an assessment that you have to do in terms of who's in my circle and who should be in my circle
00:29:38.540 and recognizing you're going to lose, you know, I think I, I said this to you when we were having a
00:29:43.420 coffee last week and chatting over the phone, you know, there was this great, um, analogy around
00:29:49.740 the rocket and the boosters. I love that. And it was this, you know, as your rocket goes up and you're
00:29:55.420 kind of moving, you know, your rise is going really great. There's going to be people that watching
00:30:00.300 going, oh wow. And there's going to be people attached, but also some of those boosters have
00:30:04.620 to come off so that you can make it to the top. So not everyone is going to be on that rocket ship with
00:30:08.620 you to the top to let you shine and glow brightly. So you have to decide who's going to be. And then
00:30:14.540 those that fall off probably were never meant to be there with you for the whole ride anyway.
00:30:19.260 And that's okay. So as long as you're going to be okay with losing people along the way
00:30:24.460 and not taking it personally saying, this is as far as they can come on this ride. And I'm okay with
00:30:29.660 that, but really investing in yourself and keeping it tight in a group. I have kids. I said this to you,
00:30:34.780 you have children. I've told my kids, you don't need 500 friends. You don't need 20 friends. You
00:30:39.580 need two or three good ones that will show up when you call them. That's literally what we need.
00:30:43.500 Those are like your, you know, ride or die kind of people. So that's one. Two, I would say social
00:30:49.020 media is great, but use it mindfully. And I tell people it's fake book, not Facebook. And I could say,
00:30:55.340 you know, same thing about Instagram and all the others, because I know when I do these talks and I
00:31:00.620 give people, you know, I'm doing training and I say to people, who is posting looking like crap?
00:31:05.820 Nobody. Who is talking about how terrible their life is? Everything you see nowadays is filtered.
00:31:10.940 Our faces are filtered, right? I mean, I don't, I don't do that partially because I'm like, you're
00:31:15.580 going to see me and I'd rather you just see me the way I am. So I'd rather be saying you look better
00:31:19.740 in person than like, oh, you know, so I prefer not to do that. I just, this is who I am and I'm okay with it.
00:31:26.460 The other part is everyone's posting like, I'm back to dinner and look at me at this event. You
00:31:30.220 know, I'm living our very best life. Look at me on holidays, but you actually don't know what's
00:31:34.300 happening at home. So I just say to people, you just have to take that with a grain of salt and not
00:31:40.780 measure yourself by those standards. Keeping a journal is important. And I, this is what I talk
00:31:46.220 about writing about the good things and having gratitude. So I said this to you when we spoke last
00:31:52.300 week, I said, you know, I wake up every day with gratitude. People say, you always seem so happy.
00:31:56.860 Why are you so happy? I mean, this has been with me since I was a kid, but I do wake up with, you
00:32:02.460 know, thank you, God. I have a roof over my hand. I have a great partner. I have three wonderful kids.
00:32:07.500 My parents are still alive. Thank God. And they're in pretty good health. Thank God. Right. I have a job.
00:32:13.340 I can pay the bills. Um, you know, I have food on the table. I mean, that is an abundance
00:32:19.020 compared to what some other people have. And, you know, I had somebody else say to me,
00:32:23.340 even a couple of weeks ago, she said to me, I forgot that though, you know, it was sort of like,
00:32:27.020 oh, how do you deal with adversity? And I thought, well, I mean, it's there. And she said, yeah,
00:32:34.700 but you know, I would love to hear your story. And I said, well, how are you defining adversity?
00:32:38.940 She said, what do you mean? And she said, well, you know, you're a woman, you've had these issues,
00:32:42.300 you know, you've got, you know, your ethnicity. And I said, okay, so adversity compared to what's
00:32:47.580 happening to women in Gaza, compared to women in Ukraine, compared to women of color in some
00:32:54.380 part, like, so compared to who? So, yes, I've had adversity, but I, if I put it into the bigger
00:33:01.260 context of life, it's minimal. And it's not to downplay the challenges I've had. I've had them,
00:33:10.140 but I would say, thank God, again, right? I've had a good life and I put it all in perspective.
00:33:17.500 And I always say, if your perspective is right, then everything is possible, right? Nothing's
00:33:21.740 impossible really. And so that's what I would say to people. Think about the perspective,
00:33:25.580 think about your network, think about who's in your circle, think about doing all the things that you
00:33:29.500 have done to get to where you've gone, because I think those are excellent. And if you need to work
00:33:33.420 with a coach, work on that, and then think about where you want to go. And then my last point would
00:33:37.820 be, what do you want your legacy to be? So we're all here for a time. So if you were to look back,
00:33:43.980 what do you want your legacy to be? And if you think about that question, then think about that mark
00:33:50.140 that you want to leave and how are you working towards that? And then I think you might be able to align
00:33:55.180 with your purpose a bit more. Oh, all amazing, all amazing things. When I think about, and that
00:34:01.660 question about legacy is something that, that after with all of this, I became more of a priority, but
00:34:08.380 also I tie it into that idea that if I'm on my deathbed and I look back at my life, I don't want
00:34:15.580 to die with regrets. Yeah. That I would have, I would have regretted a lot of, a lot of things that I
00:34:22.380 wasn't doing because I was trying to please other people because I wanted to be loved, liked and
00:34:27.900 accepted by others and putting myself on the, on the back burner, as you said, because as mothers
00:34:33.260 and women and all that other stuff that rolls into it, but we have to, we only get one life.
00:34:38.780 Yeah. And when you're on the other side, you realize how fast it goes.
00:34:43.180 And I think there's, there is that element of really appreciating how precious time is.
00:34:51.420 Yeah. We have less of it, no more of that. And when I think of all the things that, that I want
00:34:56.700 to do and, and because of the impact that I want to continue to make, it's like, then I realize how
00:35:02.460 important it is for me to take care of my body. Yeah. Right. Because if, if this vehicle isn't, you know,
00:35:10.300 this temple that is housing, you know, my soul and, and, and it's supposed to help me to accomplish
00:35:16.460 all the different things I need to set time for that. Right. So maybe time that I didn't need before
00:35:23.020 to necessarily like, you know, help this vessel, I now need to prioritize that. Yeah. So there's,
00:35:29.260 so that I can not live a life where I'm living with regret. And, and I want the same for, you know,
00:35:34.380 for my husband too. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want you to one day get to a place where, and you say,
00:35:38.620 well, I didn't do those things because you didn't allow me to, or you're like, oh no, like, I don't
00:35:44.780 want you to say that to me. And I don't want to be the reason why you feel like you didn't live your
00:35:49.820 best and fullest life. Yes. Yes. Yeah. You know, I think that's so important. It's funny. And I was
00:35:53.740 thinking about COVID just yesterday and I thought, gosh, and I don't know why it came up in my, my head,
00:35:59.740 but I was thinking I was probably the most productive. And other than the horrible sort of things that
00:36:05.100 happened to people who got sick during COVID, it was in many ways a very good time for me in the
00:36:12.460 sense that I was at home for the first time. I used to commute for long hours. I was home with my
00:36:16.620 family. I would sleep a little better because, you know, I focused on my business. I was having
00:36:23.820 dinner with the kids. We went back to baking again. I was going for walks every day because we could,
00:36:30.060 because I was at home. There was less noise because there was less planes and cars on the road.
00:36:35.180 I mean, so there was like the downside, of course, of all the, you know, people that got sick and
00:36:39.740 people that died and all of that part. But then the, the, in some ways it was a bit of a reset.
00:36:44.860 And I actually channeled it to rethink about, well, what do I want to do really with my life?
00:36:50.300 And so I, I would, you know, I think it's interesting because I, I also found that was a turning
00:36:54.380 point for a lot of women that I knew, and I don't know about you, but there were women
00:36:58.060 that I knew where relationships broke up, where things were good because everyone was so busy,
00:37:03.020 just describing what you were talking about. The lives were so busy that when they all of a
00:37:06.300 a sudden were under the same roof, it just blew up. And I'm sure, you know, people were right.
00:37:11.900 Yeah, me too. And so, and I just remember sort of going for a drive with my husband and saying,
00:37:18.140 we need to have a bit of a conversation. You know, we spent a kind of a day, we drove,
00:37:22.460 we had a conversation. I didn't want to do it around with the kids, but thought like,
00:37:25.420 how do we kind of do a bit of a reset? Right. So it wasn't that anything was bad. It was just
00:37:29.740 more like all of a sudden now we're together 24 seven and how do we want to work together
00:37:34.780 in this household and kind of create some boundaries and with the children and still
00:37:39.260 kind of live our best life. But then how do we kind of lean into this? And in fact,
00:37:44.460 our marriage got much better. Right. But I think it's because I saw some of that and thought,
00:37:49.660 okay, I'm going to, let's make sure we kind of do this well, but I, but anyways, I just wanted to
00:37:54.460 say that because I was thinking about the comments that you said about relationships and you want
00:37:57.740 someone to live their best life. And I thought, you know, that was a bit of a turning point for many
00:38:01.180 people. And if you succeeded in that and you leaned into kind of what you want out of life,
00:38:07.980 then I think great. And if not, I'm not sure how it played out for others.
00:38:11.420 Well, thank you for that point, because when we identify things in our life that aren't working
00:38:17.820 well for us, the right approach is to tackle those things and, and have those hard conversations
00:38:24.620 instead of numbing it out. So how many people numb out the hardships in their life with, you know,
00:38:31.500 various addictions, substances, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, lots of other things instead of
00:38:41.180 instead of trying to figure out how they can work on those areas that they feel are not functioning
00:38:48.380 well. Yeah. Yeah. Or saying just like, let's have a reset or let's have whatever. Right. So
00:38:53.420 I just think it's important. I also think it goes back to what you said earlier, which is,
00:38:56.700 you know, we talked about your circles, right? And so you've got your partner, your husband,
00:39:01.420 you've got your kids, you probably have maybe siblings, but all those were things that were
00:39:05.580 on the negative have, you've turned into a positive. And you've also decided where those boundaries
00:39:10.460 are going to be what they look like. Yeah. And I think those are hard places to be.
00:39:15.340 But if you know what they are and you honor them, you're a much happier person. Yeah.
00:39:20.220 Right. So you can have not only a happy hour, but you can have a happy day. Right.
00:39:23.740 That rolls into a happy week. That's right. That's right. But it starts with, you know,
00:39:30.940 you have to take the steps first. Right. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's a saying that my instructor
00:39:35.260 uses at the gym that says, you know, the best time it would have, it would have been to start
00:39:41.260 making these changes would have been like 10 years ago. But then the second best time is like today.
00:39:46.620 Yes. Right. Yeah.
00:39:47.900 So, you know, we can always say, well, well, but really every day, if we saw it as a reset,
00:39:54.300 that every day is a new day for us to like, and we don't need it to be a Monday or we don't need it,
00:40:00.620 you know, like sometimes, you know, with a diet or something like, well, I'll just start on Monday.
00:40:05.580 Yeah. Yeah. You know, but like, listen, I mean, you know, I have a wedding coming up and I'm just
00:40:11.020 like, okay, I need to get into this dress. And then I look at my son who's cut out all these things
00:40:16.620 to my younger boy. And I'm thinking, oh my God, I don't, yes, I want to do that, but I don't know that
00:40:22.140 I'm just too old to do that. Like I want to, I want to be healthy. I'm just not sure I want to eat
00:40:27.340 tuna for a week so I can get into a dress for one day. You know, so you kind of sit your priorities,
00:40:32.780 but you figure out who you are, but then you also have to begin with your health and wellness.
00:40:37.420 And that's something I'm actually trying to focus more on because when you work a lot,
00:40:42.380 you're prioritizing some of the things for you. Go lower on the food chain and you just really need
00:40:47.420 to, if you're not there physically, mentally, emotionally well, you can't serve others.
00:40:52.460 You can't help others. No, we're not showing up as like the best version of ourselves.
00:40:56.620 No, of course not. And that ends up being disappointing for us in the end too.
00:41:00.460 But people feel it, right? Yeah, it's also for women. You have to remember,
00:41:03.660 like if you think at home, who does most of the heavy lifting? No disrespect to our male
00:41:07.580 counterparts, but you know, when something happens, kids go mom. When there's caretaking for elderly
00:41:13.820 parents, it's always, it's more likely to be women than men. And that's a data point. That's not just
00:41:18.380 me making that up. So if you think about the weight that's on our shoulders and the fact that all the
00:41:25.020 women are working and have more degrees than their male counterparts, they're still not making as much
00:41:29.740 money as men. So with all of those kind of the inequities, it's very hard because we don't
00:41:35.500 prioritize ourselves because we're so just busy trying to keep going and serving that it's important
00:41:40.380 once in a while to prioritize yourself because only then you can level up and help others.
00:41:45.180 Now, if we were going to end this episode with, you know, an insight of yours, like maybe something
00:41:52.380 that you tend to like live your own life, almost like a model for yourself or one that you encourage
00:41:59.500 other people to take in and do for themselves, what would you say that could be?
00:42:06.940 I don't know if that's one thing, but I'll say, look, gratitude every morning I think is important
00:42:13.420 because it sets your mindset for the day. I think that's really important. I would say if you are
00:42:20.380 ambitious and want to move ahead, have a plan, 18 months, 12 to 18 months and map out how you're going
00:42:28.220 to do that. If you don't do that, you're not going to get there. It's just an idea, not a plan.
00:42:31.820 And then surround yourself with people who are going to be your champions and your sponsors and
00:42:38.620 be selective because not everyone's going to admire the light that you bring to your face,
00:42:44.940 not always that you want that. And then be part of groups like Women Helping Empower Women, part of
00:42:50.620 what you're doing to say, I want to be in circles where this is celebrated, not a negative, but it's
00:42:57.020 like, I love being around a Teresa who just is genuine and wants that good for me, right?
00:43:04.380 Because we both believe and you put good out, good comes back. And so I believe that you believe
00:43:09.020 that. I mean, we're very similar. So you want people like that in our circles and we want to help
00:43:14.780 people who are going to do that. You know, one of the reasons I created Ru was to be able to say,
00:43:19.340 I want to do this. And the only ask I have is you do the same for another person,
00:43:23.420 another woman, help them through. Because I feel that is how we will change the tide in our favor,
00:43:28.060 right? And so I think that's all I would ask for. And I think those are kind of things that you
00:43:32.780 should be working on. And of course, the mental health and the physical health is really critical.
00:43:37.420 So walk. If you can't run and do 30 minute or dumbbells or whatever, just walk, just move.
00:43:44.460 Thank you. Thank you.
00:43:47.260 So if people want to find you and connect with you after the show, how can they do that?
00:43:50.940 Yeah. So on LinkedIn is the easiest because I'm very active on that. So that's where I am. It's
00:43:55.820 just Dr. Giorgia Zanatti. And I also have an Instagram account, Dr. Giorgia. There's only one
00:44:01.420 of me, Dr. Giorgia Zanatti. And then you can email me through our website, www.whewwomen.com.
00:44:11.900 Awesome. Thank you so much.
00:44:13.740 Thank you. Thank you.
00:44:14.540 Thanks for joining me on the happy hour. If you like the show, please like and subscribe.
00:44:20.220 If you want to learn more about me, feel free to check out my website at TeresaGreco.ca
00:44:26.460 or connect with me on social media, TeresaGreco underscore steps to happiness or steps to happiness
00:44:32.780 with TeresaGreco.
00:44:45.020 Thank you.