True Patriot Love - “Man Up” Isn’t Toxic — You’re Using It Wrong ｜ with Sim Chhabra

00:00:00.000 welcome my fellow patriots this is tpl media yes you can find us at tplmedia.ca or you can

00:00:10.880 download the app on android and apple pretty much anywhere you can find apps you can find tpl media

00:00:16.560 true patriot love search for it on the app store and the apple store today we're talking about a

00:00:23.440 subject that i don't know if i'm uh built enough to talk about it but i think uh the way that i'm

00:00:29.040 I'm genetically been laid out, I think I can. So that just pushes that over to the side. We're

00:00:34.620 going to talk about modern masculinity. And today my guest is going to be our resident psychotherapist

00:00:39.960 Sim, the simulator, Shabra. How are you, brother? I'm good, Brady. Nice to see you. So before we

00:00:45.860 start the show, I brought my smelling salts because smelling salts are super manly if you

00:00:49.680 watch podcasts. Have you ever tried smelling salts before? No. These are 10 times stronger than the

00:00:55.140 ones that are supposed to be on the market. So let's start this off. I need to give myself

00:00:58.940 a blast of masculinity before we go. 1.00

00:01:07.180 Suck it up, buttercup. 1.00

00:01:09.180 Alright, I am ready to talk about being a man. 1.00

00:01:15.620 Sim, what do you know about being a man?

00:01:17.260 Are you a man?

00:01:18.260 Oh, that's a good question.

00:01:23.120 I want to try and keep it light because I feel like this conversation might steer into

00:01:26.220 a direction where um it might get a little serious uh by the time we get out of here so i'd like to

00:01:31.900 start late are you a man and why are you a man so through a identity i would say yes i'm a man

00:01:40.300 yeah uh why i'm a man because um it is what it is kind of thing okay i don't know how best to

00:01:48.140 answer that perhaps over the course of the podcast i may be able to uh answer that question a bit

00:01:53.660 better so i'm going to tell you what i'm constantly working on myself daily i'm constantly telling

00:01:58.860 myself to man up right and for years we've been told that term is a negative term now and i don't

00:02:05.340 know why i don't know if it was a gillette commercial uh during the pandemic that came out

00:02:09.580 that seemed to get a lot of steam with the with a new evolved mentality on things that said yes we

00:02:15.580 shouldn't be telling young young men to man up it's not a very realistic standpoint and they're 0.77

00:02:20.540 They're allowed to cry, and I do agree with that.

00:02:22.860 I think men should be emotional, and you should show your emotions.

00:02:25.020 There's no need to hide them.

00:02:27.000 But I do think taking away the term man up from people internally,

00:02:31.800 now however you want to take that phrase in and make it apply to your life

00:02:35.060 is a completely different conversation,

00:02:36.700 but let's just try and keep it in a little bit of a box for a second.

00:02:40.560 If I feel like I'm doing something that isn't, and I shouldn't say masculine,

00:02:45.380 but if I feel like I'm being overly emotional about something

00:02:47.880 or I'm overanalyzing something that I don't need to,

00:02:50.180 a lot of the time i can get myself out of my own head by saying brady just man up

00:02:55.540 yeah that's a that's a fair statement right so when i see the gillette commercials come out and

00:02:59.780 i see that mentality kind of evolve over years and it has since the 90s right like 90s seems to be

00:03:05.700 and maybe it's just because i was coming into my own as a young man in the late 90s and early 2000s

00:03:10.740 i noticed the switch i noticed the switch from being to walking around and i guess for a lack

00:03:18.020 lack of better terms, to walking around stiff, right, and keeping your head up and your chin up

00:03:23.220 and taking it on the chin and taking your lumps when you get them and you just put them in the

00:03:27.060 backpack and you keep going. And I think that the mentality was, well, if you put all this stuff in

00:03:31.220 a backpack, eventually that backpack is going to get heavy and it's going to wear you down and

00:03:34.520 you're going to break eventually somewhere. Out of what I'm saying in the past minute and a half

00:03:39.680 here, what do you think is actual truths and what do you think are misconceptions from some of the

00:03:43.340 things that I've said, if there is any. So you brought up some very good points.

00:03:47.160 In terms of the actual word, man up, it's just a word. I think people do get stuck in it. People

00:03:53.860 then start taking sides because then they're like, well, what about emotional expression? And what

00:03:57.880 about, you know, if I want to feel things? You can do both. I think man up in the sense,

00:04:04.740 It's kind of like a word that we use that we understand.

00:04:12.100 I'm sure the opposite gender has their particular phrase, right, that they use internally. 0.86

00:04:20.260 I do have an agreement with you in the sense that it's getting where now if you do use that word in the context that you're presenting it in,

00:04:32.680 which is man up there's an offense to it uh people tend to get offended by it and i think

00:04:39.160 it's being misinterpreted one of the points that i really kind of caught on is what you said you

00:04:47.400 know what happened to you in the 90s and stuff uh in terms of you know you just realized i got

00:04:53.400 to do it and then it just i'll tell you what it was i watched my girl when i was like 12 years old

00:04:59.240 and i cried at the end of it and i felt super uncomfortable and the reason why i cried wasn't

00:05:03.480 the same reason why i cried when i was a kid and i watched homework bound it it tapped into something

00:05:08.200 as a young young man with my hormones going crazy where i watched my girl and i'm like i don't like

00:05:13.240 the fact that i cried at the end of this movie how old are you probably 12 13. okay um i got teary-eyed

00:05:20.680 when uh mufasa died so wait and i still can't watch it i still i don't want your age but you

00:05:29.480 you can't be much older than i am i was in uh grade 11 so i was okay you're not too far yeah

00:05:37.160 you're not too far off from where i am we're okay i still can't watch it like you know when it comes

00:05:43.880 to that part i will still as an adult cannot watch mufasa dot okay so let's take yourself back to the

00:05:50.440 grade 11 right and when you were in that mentality did you feel uncomfortable did it make you feel

00:05:54.680 weird as a man no it didn't what it did is i didn't understand it that that's and that's what i felt

00:06:00.840 i didn't understand i just didn't understand it and is it i wouldn't say it was a what how it's

00:06:09.960 being presented now where what's wrong with me i just didn't understand it right and teenage boys

00:06:16.600 we go through this massive transformation of um testosterone growth in our early teen years so

00:06:24.680 we go through that mixed bag of emotions that gets mirrored by women in men about us okay so what we

00:06:33.080 kind of that confusion and the yin yang and all of that that we feel in our early teens is what they

00:06:38.200 feel on that end where you know all of a sudden i'm sure you know i don't know how your early

00:06:43.400 teens were but it's like you're going through growth spurts and like you know well i was a child

00:06:48.280 actor that was busy at the same time too so my my childhood is probably far off the norm of

00:06:55.720 i went through a whirlwind of right of you know that a lot of people don't go through

00:07:00.680 it was good but with the good comes the bad right right and you know i was very confused right but

00:07:06.120 you know if you go back into the 90s right and i think earlier in the podcast you were talking

00:07:12.360 about a reference some what were you mentioning about a role model that you

00:07:19.620 were using as an imagery just remind me okay so it could have been before we

00:07:23.220 were talking to because we had a pretty long discussion before but with role

00:07:27.600 models so actually you know what to not even go back to the point that I was

00:07:31.380 talking about role models is a good place for us to actually start the

00:07:34.680 beginning of this real conversation yeah so I'm glad that you kind of steered it

00:07:39.060 there and we're not going to steer back to what I originally said because role

00:07:42.180 models has to be a a talking point here and a lead into a bigger conversation we have role models for

00:07:49.380 men obviously right that have been put on a platform over the past let's say we'll just take

00:07:53.780 the past 10 years i think it started with jordan peterson his initial right his initial uh introduction

00:08:00.660 to the world online outside of the university scene was he made rules for young gentlemen to

00:08:06.740 get their lives straight ones that seem to be falling off right or without structure he gave

00:08:12.500 them structure and i think that started a movement now jordan has gone a completely different direction

00:08:19.220 in 10 years but the beginning of that movement started there then you see things like the

00:08:22.500 extremes like the andrew tates eventually show up right so covid people were talking about andrew

00:08:27.380 tate a couple years after covid they're still talking about andrew tate yeah now he's become

00:08:31.780 a meme because he lost a boxing match after talking about being a tough guy but the journey

00:08:36.580 to get to that point was based off of masculinity yeah and based off of alpha male syndrome and and

00:08:43.620 just looking at your life as being a man and trying to embrace that primal sense of manliness yeah

00:08:49.780 and some of the things that he says are completely disgusting then there's some other things that he

00:08:54.100 says in the interviews where you're like i kind of get it yeah see but if it was said from somebody

00:09:01.620 But he also would probably resonate a little bit more with other people than it would with

00:09:04.940 a guy like Andrew Tate.

00:09:05.940 It seems to be from the extremes, right?

00:09:08.280 So if we put Andrew Tate on one side, one of the podcasts that I did with one of our

00:09:14.560 other hosts, Shaliza, and it was on why Tom Brady can't date.

00:09:19.900 So you could have Andrew Tate on one side where anything that comes out of his mouth

00:09:24.980 is controversial and hated, and then you go to the other end of the spectrum and you put

00:09:30.560 And the reason why I'm putting them on that spectrum is because we're having a conversation

00:09:36.020 about masculinity.

00:09:37.020 We're not having a conversation on the individual, but they're two polar opposites in the world

00:09:41.540 of masculinity.

00:09:42.540 Right.

00:09:43.540 But we, you know, as average Joes, we're looking at two men that are presenting a certain way

00:09:51.000 to personify emotions, right?

00:09:55.400 Tate went through kickboxing. So his masculinity comes through over aggression. And then you look

00:10:02.920 at Tom Brady as a quarterback, right? When he got tackled, you had to get up and finish the play.

00:10:09.800 You twisted your ankle to get up and finish the play. You had to finish the game. It was raining.

00:10:13.560 It didn't matter. You finished the game, right? So it's that same mentality that, you know,

00:10:18.600 we're saying where you suck it up right yeah they both are exhibiting the same tools they just

00:10:25.400 ends up sitting on different ends of the spectrum so for us to have a good conversation in terms of

00:10:30.920 role model i think they both sit in a bandwidth for masculinity not in terms of similarities of

00:10:38.840 character yep right so and both of those things come with athletics so athletics we know that

00:10:45.000 when you exercise as a as a man that your testosterone levels seem to increase right

00:10:50.760 right and the less that you're active your estrogen levels seem to to rise now there's

00:10:55.160 got to be a bigger science to that and a breakdown but that's the overall scope of it right it's as

00:10:59.880 far as the average person understands right is this just an athletic thing is this is just a

00:11:04.360 being an athlete and being in shape and trying to worry about your diet and things like that

00:11:10.360 to the do you naturally just become a man by doing those things and the extremes can be taken right

00:11:15.720 but i mean like when it comes to how you get through life and how you build a compound inside

00:11:22.200 of your body to better structure your brain and your mentality is that coming from testosterone

00:11:27.640 which seems to be primal and it's attached to our primal portions of our brain right so if you look

00:11:33.080 at i'm making so many smart people mad right now by saying do i talking like this right so so if we

00:11:38.760 kind of like break it down into two unique categories right so you have the nurture nature

00:11:45.240 okay so when you look into the nature part of things what you're mentioning has value right

00:11:51.480 you're saying hey look you know athleticism is consistent uh exertion of energy okay because

00:11:58.840 all seven days you're either working out you're trying you're doing something that has to enhance

00:12:05.640 your performance so you're not technically idle per se right so there's that active pursuit for

00:12:14.520 energy use if you don't which is what you brought up right now that's where we are more like we're

00:12:21.160 the docile types right your average day you may work out for 20 minutes my body shape reflects

00:12:26.520 exactly what you're saying right but of mine right but what i'm saying is now if you're looking at it

00:12:32.600 from the primal position it's just we don't exert as much energy so it's kind of like and this is a

00:12:40.760 very poor example breeds of dogs right i'm not saying men are dogs we just classified as that

00:12:46.360 i think we're more dogs than we are women right the point i'm trying to make here is certain breeds

00:12:53.240 of dog require so much activity to make sure that they stay healthy yeah yeah jack russell or

00:13:00.360 something like that right so burmese mountain dog yeah so we can look at now from a nurture nature

00:13:06.920 lens men where they sit so so that captures that part of it when it comes to the nurture part of

00:13:14.520 things this is where like we have to process how we feel how we present ourselves is secondary but

00:13:20.280 we still have to process hurt is hurt uh loss is loss happiness is happiness those are biochemical

00:13:28.680 releases that everybody experiences regardless of what you gender yes yeah yeah it's it's how

00:13:33.720 you react to it and right yeah so i feel where the battles are starting to have is like in the nurture

00:13:41.160 we're trying to be more masculine than there needs to be because nurturing is soft nurturing is

00:13:48.200 something that you have the affordability to do you do and maybe i'm a caveman but i feel like

00:13:53.800 women are going to be like and there's exceptions to every rule but women are always going to be 1.00

00:13:57.640 better nurturers as an overall group than men are going to be yes but they nurture in a different

00:14:05.400 lens we nurture in a different lens explain so women nurture and doesn't matter what the 1.00

00:14:13.880 gender of the child is right and we're talking infancy yeah yeah yeah and toddler okay yeah in

00:14:20.120 that uh the mothers are more about like you know the emotions the feeding the the sense of safety

00:14:27.160 on a on a emotional level men provide nurturing on the uh spatial level so safety from providers

00:14:39.880 not necessarily providers because uh women also provide remember if you're going into caveman days 1.00

00:14:45.800 there was no economic transaction there was task you hunted you cooked they were tasked there was

00:14:51.720 no provider right that's a good that's a so we're corrupting our own thought

00:14:57.040 process minute we go I earn you know that's the disparity those are the

00:15:01.680 Bedford five days right the 50s they classified you go out and work nine to

00:15:07.320 five because how else do you explain somebody because when you stay in the

00:15:10.800 primal lens the prior to Industrial Revolution you didn't have this eight

00:15:16.260 to eight working in a factory no you're a hole in the fields you work but yeah

00:15:20.940 that's what I'm trying to say so that's where our physical energies weren't

00:15:25.860 being used to our optimum because if you're standing on a on an assembly line

00:15:30.040 and all you're doing is tightening a rivet and that machine yeah right so

00:15:35.100 now all of a sudden you're gonna have estrogen buildup because you're not

00:15:38.700 designed to stand there tightening rivets you're decided to pull the plow

00:15:41.880 the field or go out and hunt or go build a building go do something right so you

00:15:48.540 You have to look at those changes as well, where we feel that we are being imprisoned

00:15:54.060 in a sense or we're being diminished in a sense.

00:15:56.800 So those are your later modern era, modern age factors.

00:16:01.720 Okay.

00:16:02.720 That's where the problem comes in.

00:16:03.880 But when you say we are providers, we both are providers equally.

00:16:07.960 We just have different roles.

00:16:09.580 So there's no competition there because remember, you need two to create one.

00:16:14.760 Yeah.

00:16:15.760 So there is no superiority.

00:16:17.280 play a key role in terms of... Oh, I agree with you. There's no superiority at all.

00:16:22.440 And that's not what I mean by masculinity. Even if I go caveman, believe me, I do

00:16:26.700 believe we're equal. Right. But what I'm saying is when we look at like the

00:16:30.180 Andrew Tate believers... Who seems to be that they don't think things are equal.

00:16:34.740 Right. For them, it's kind of like, you know, it's very like... Right? Like I

00:16:40.440 dominate and I've heard some of his podcasts and I've just shook my head and

00:16:44.220 I'm like, a lot of, that's a lot of work. 0.96

00:16:45.600 It's pig headedness too, right?

00:16:47.380 Like, so because he's a kickboxer, he was, yeah, well, not a very good one, but when 0.94

00:16:51.840 you look at it through his eyes, right.

00:16:54.600 Not better than me.

00:16:55.500 The best defense is a good offense.

00:16:58.360 Yeah.

00:16:59.080 And in those fields, it's how quickly do you get a good hit in?

00:17:03.360 So you look at MMA, you look at kick, you look at any of these high impact sports, boxing,

00:17:09.660 right?

00:17:10.120 It's always, how quickly can you get the punch in?

00:17:11.980 How quickly can you get the opponent on his feet?

00:17:15.840 Defending the entire time.

00:17:17.200 Yeah.

00:17:17.440 Right.

00:17:17.940 That's his MO.

00:17:19.420 That's not a judgment on his character.

00:17:21.220 That's just his MO.

00:17:22.080 That's his style.

00:17:23.520 Right.

00:17:24.020 Brady's style is more I got to read the field.

00:17:26.780 Well, it is.

00:17:27.380 So his is more delayed.

00:17:29.220 Yeah.

00:17:29.600 Because he has to see how things unfold.

00:17:31.560 So when it comes to a person that's viewing either experience, he's going to come across

00:17:37.220 as aggressive.

00:17:38.200 He's going to come across as observant.

00:17:39.940 Well, you're always going to fend off aggression, right?

00:17:43.460 Because if you go back to caveman days, you had to, because women were the ones that brought 1.00

00:17:48.700 in life.

00:17:49.940 So you had to protect them because they brought in life.

00:17:53.180 You can't take today's knowledge back 1500 years.

00:17:57.700 You got to go back 1500 years and then leave that and then look and understand it from

00:18:02.540 that lens.

00:18:03.540 Average life was 20 years.

00:18:06.140 Average life was not 80 years.

00:18:08.440 Right?

00:18:09.640 And not everybody lived in a cave.

00:18:11.940 You lived out anywhere.

00:18:13.540 We don't know where you live.

00:18:14.540 It's just they said you lived in the cave.

00:18:16.580 Not necessarily.

00:18:17.580 No, we're finding out every day that we, you know, the living conditions were remarkable,

00:18:21.240 right?

00:18:22.240 That's what I'm saying.

00:18:23.240 And maybe there were a whole bunch of nomadics that would like roam because they couldn't

00:18:26.220 blend in.

00:18:27.220 So then they created their own and dah, dah, dah.

00:18:29.240 So if you're really going to go to history and biology, then you got to go entirely.

00:18:32.700 You can't take today's knowledge and transplant yourself there and then look at the world

00:18:38.060 from there and say that was a better world. It was a very different world because you only live

00:18:41.160 till 20. So your psychology should only live till 20. That's the difference. You're making me,

00:18:47.980 you're making me think about it because you're saying like the individuality and the field

00:18:52.740 compared to, uh, even a team sport, like, like Tom Brady, when you see men go asexual, 0.59

00:18:59.340 this term asexual. So if anybody doesn't know what asexual is, do you have an actual definition

00:19:03.280 of it in in your world i'd like to hear yours so as far as i know asexual is a man who or a woman

00:19:10.560 um somebody that pays attention basically to themselves and they've removed themselves from

00:19:14.800 the dating world and they focus just on themselves okay that's what i my understanding of what asexual

00:19:21.680 is right do is there a is there a thin line between working in the field by yourself being

00:19:28.880 in one with nature and and getting your testosterone levels up in your primal form and i'll explain

00:19:33.760 why i'm asking this question afterwards um and a confusion with asexual belief systems because i

00:19:40.160 know that and the the manliest guy i've ever known in my entire life i didn't realize how much of a

00:19:45.520 man he was until he wasn't here anymore which is my father yeah who is owned his own mechanic shop

00:19:50.800 was a hunter trapper fisher farmer took care of his land uh plowed his fields yeah took care of cows

00:19:56.720 if he the only time he wasn't working is when he was literally just sleeping to get back to work

00:20:01.560 and it's probably why they left the planet so early is because he worked himself to death

00:20:04.580 but the manliest man and he had more of a relationship with nature than he did any of

00:20:09.880 his brothers or his friends or anything like that and he was one of the most hard-working

00:20:14.500 very one-track mind but you know sometimes ignorance is bliss but he was a manly man

00:20:21.880 so if my father didn't have if he wanted to spend that much time by himself which seemed to work for

00:20:29.080 him if he had not have that fuel to plow in would he become asexual is there any connection there 0.67

00:20:35.180 i think it's a far reach uh i'm trying to understand myself i think a bit too not that

00:20:40.300 i'm asexual i've just noticed myself being like hey you haven't had a lot of human connection

00:20:44.000 recently stop working on yourself stop working on work go with a woman which is a very weird way of 0.94

00:20:50.040 me telling myself to man up right I mean but see what I'm trying to can I'm sorry if I segue

00:20:57.300 completely off of the no no I'm trying to make but you're just I just couldn't stop thinking

00:21:00.620 about it when you kept saying those things that it relates a bit to my life and my experiences

00:21:04.540 so I wanted to ask that question so and this is not unique only to yourself

00:21:10.160 uh we need reference points and this is not a today issue this is a human species issue

00:21:23.520 that goes across the globe across cultures across ages um the reason why i say that

00:21:32.240 is because if we let's let's just go back in time right so let's go back to we're not going to go

00:21:38.640 to 1480 just for the sake of it right or 300 BC okay so like we'll just stay in the modern life

00:21:47.160 if you look at post-world war ii right and you use that as your benchmark

00:21:51.740 what came after world war ii for masculine identifiers you had gi joe you had the marlboro

00:22:00.700 man it's funny you're heading in that's where i was going to take this later on because i grew up

00:22:04.120 loving he-man right yeah superman spider-man right you had all these so uh star wars came

00:22:11.640 right um so what's happening now is that you have a whole uh series of icons that you can idolize

00:22:25.840 because the hulk hogan's the macho man's i'm telling you the 80s killed guys like wwe came

00:22:31.520 that's what i mean it's guys like me up well no it influenced but it did it in the wrong way like

00:22:38.080 you remember the beginning of this conversation i used to do testosterone i left an acting career

00:22:41.920 and became a professional wrestler running around canada taking steroids because i was obsessed with

00:22:46.800 hulk hogan right but what i'm saying is and he-man and you know right ninja turtles and all these

00:22:51.920 jacked up right monster men and that's where i wasn't watching shira being like yeah you know

00:22:59.280 what i mean like i liked hordak from shira which was the bad guy because it was a bad guy i didn't

00:23:03.840 i didn't relate to any of the women characters i just wanted these jacked up men and i wanted to

00:23:07.840 be like that so i was 13 when i moved to the u.s so i grew up in india and he man when he they would

00:23:15.600 it would come on like it was the thing and like it's the best and like in school like you know

00:23:20.800 you mimic that and like spider-man came out i remember star wars and like any stick turned

00:23:26.000 into a light favor. Yeah. And then you just duked it out. Right.

00:23:29.360 That Rambo was a big thing for my, my, we all had these, you went to Toys R Us and bought these

00:23:33.920 guns. Like they looked like war, like they were real war guns. Right. We had cigarette candies,

00:23:38.720 cigarette candies. Yeah. Yeah. And the chocolate ones, you can unwrap the chocolate used to be

00:23:42.960 chocolate cigarettes too. My parents weren't that rich privilege. That's white privilege right there. 0.87

00:23:49.520 The chocolate was horrible. So don't worry. You weren't missing much. 0.94

00:23:51.600 But the point that I'm trying to make is that when you start lacing what masculinity is,

00:23:59.800 you have to understand culture as well.

00:24:02.240 And it's very important that we also reference how we were waving Gurara.

00:24:06.880 And this is where the nurture part comes in.

00:24:08.840 And it's not about a certain style, right?

00:24:13.000 Because if you look at the 50s and 60s, what was it all about?

00:24:18.060 The man meant to work.

00:24:19.620 He worked from 9 to 5.

00:24:21.000 He came home, the wife was well-dressed, had the paper ready, you know, you sat down on a dinner table, you didn't speak up.

00:24:29.120 So it was a very hierarchical style of home, right?

00:24:34.320 Right, wrong, that's a conversation that's secondary.

00:24:37.920 The point is that that was the funnel system.

00:24:40.440 And now all of a sudden you may have Timmy who couldn't speak up even though he wanted to have an opinion because that's like, this is the way it is, right?

00:24:51.440 Because that's what culture was expected, right?

00:24:53.440 You went to church on Sundays, whether you wanted to go to church or not, you went to church on Sundays and Sundays, everybody's entire community went to church.

00:25:00.440 Yeah.

00:25:01.440 Right.

00:25:02.440 That didn't mean it was a more moral society.

00:25:04.440 It wasn't a moral society structure.

00:25:06.440 It was just a funnel system.

00:25:08.440 funnel system mm-hmm now and also these were depression era families to rate a

00:25:12.980 lot of them had like as my grandfather had nine kids right right but what I'm

00:25:17.380 saying is as a culture as a whole it was a post-war culture yeah yeah you're

00:25:21.820 100% right so now you're looking at the baby boomers that are growing up right 0.99

00:25:26.260 because silent generation went to war came back right so they have PTSD from 0.97

00:25:30.380 the war because nobody's seen the atrocities that they could explain and

00:25:34.720 we didn't have so many kids too they never know you didn't know if you're

00:25:37.480 gonna lose them right like my grandparents side was like 12 kids yeah because lifespan was different

00:25:43.320 it was different it was different lifespan so it made sense and more people were on the farm than

00:25:48.740 in the factories right so what i'm trying to get at is so you have the silent generation that have 0.65

00:25:54.380 these kids you have these boomers they have to follow the stepford wife mindset right they're 1.00

00:25:59.500 watching i love lucy they're watching um i love jeannie they're watching those kinds of shows that

00:26:05.500 gacy but look at like or yeah what was his name um the guy from the honeymooners not gacy uh

00:26:12.940 ralph crampton yeah probably right in the kisser it was almost like masculinity was on a platform

00:26:18.860 here right because they were trying to justify why because now all of a sudden this man who went who

00:26:25.260 was farming or doing whatever went to war came back and now was being told hey you got to buy

00:26:30.540 a house, got to have a white picket fence, get a car, go work the nine to five, raise

00:26:35.800 your family.

00:26:36.800 You go do this on a Saturday, you go do this on a Sunday.

00:26:39.340 So little Timmy, that's the boomer that's growing up, that doesn't agree with it because 0.99

00:26:44.720 he's seeing his father's PTSD being taken out somewhere, right?

00:26:49.220 So where is it going through?

00:26:50.220 It's going through booze.

00:26:51.220 And then it's coming out on the kids, right?

00:26:53.360 Because they weren't given the structure on how to have a family, but they're dealing

00:26:57.200 with the massive trauma of PTSD, okay?

00:27:00.380 Now you jump that.

00:27:01.380 Now that little Timmy has grown up, comes into 60s, 70s, Woodstock, experimentation,

00:27:06.760 drugs, but Vietnam War.

00:27:08.940 So now he has inherited a PTSD that he doesn't understand.

00:27:12.940 Plus you have the Cold War of this one day we're going to get new.

00:27:17.360 Canada was just as much a victim as the Americans. 0.53

00:27:19.260 Oh yeah.

00:27:20.260 They taught everybody, even up to like a portion of my generation in the 80s, like when we

00:27:24.880 were young, it went away by the 90s.

00:27:26.320 They were still somewhat prepping us for that.

00:27:28.180 Right.

00:27:29.180 your nature nurture needs to be looked at from us from a cultural lens and a social lens because that

00:27:34.380 affects how we are and how we see the world so when you're looking at masculinity and you're

00:27:39.020 saying okay let me be a caveman and let me be a provider and let me provide safety

00:27:44.140 well you're 40 50 years of this trauma corruption so your sense of safety is what self-preservation

00:27:52.380 or provider because the skill didn't get transferred because if you go back to the caveman

00:27:58.220 is they didn't have external threats. They had imminent threats, which they had a way to

00:28:04.060 quantifiably protect. Because collectively, somebody either had to watch on the treetop,

00:28:10.140 right? Or they collectively went and hunted. But once they were hunted, done, they didn't go out

00:28:15.100 and hunt overly excessively. They just got what they needed. They got what they needed. It's a

00:28:19.340 lion mentality, right? A lion only hunts when it's hungry. It doesn't just hunt for killing.

00:28:22.700 So when you look at those kinds of small villages, right, the community mindset was different.

00:28:29.740 So now as a nurturer, that hunter is not hunting seven days a week, is he?

00:28:34.300 Or five days a week from nine to five.

00:28:35.900 He's not.

00:28:36.540 He's gone for three or four days, but they bring enough back that there's enough to last.

00:28:41.020 And then one couple of weeks.

00:28:42.060 Yeah.

00:28:42.940 So now he's, but we're not talking about that.

00:28:46.540 We're only talking about rah, rah, rah, spirits of the flesh and then the head on the wall.

00:28:51.660 that's not that's not what we're talking about so almost our approach on the caveman mentality is

00:28:57.020 wrong it's like that that term caveman mentality it's it's insufficient i've always liked the term

00:29:03.020 one-dimensional a little bit better one-dimensional thinking insufficient insufficient is probably a

00:29:08.460 really good word because that is the true thing it's insufficient if you expand it and genuinely

00:29:15.260 account for how it was then and look at it through that lens don't look at it through a 2026 lens

00:29:22.620 we're always looking away to ping we're designed to ping okay our brain is designed to look and

00:29:29.180 reference and understand for ourselves because we are trying to identify ourselves so to understand

00:29:34.940 our internal world where do we look we look into our external world when we look into our external

00:29:40.940 world where's the first two places we look when we were toddlers we look to who we knew we go to

00:29:49.420 faces we recognize right and then you build from that so the more consistent that world is then

00:29:56.620 you get into the outer world which is the world you interact with and then depending on how stable

00:30:02.860 that is then you build out but that pattern stays for the rest of our lives because our environment

00:30:08.300 always changes so the more safe we feel in these two spheres the better we are when we interact

00:30:15.100 with others so it's not a masculine or a lack of masculinity yeah i think when when it becomes

00:30:21.660 individual because that's where nature nurture play a role so i'll give you a very good example

00:30:27.340 i was looking at andrew tate right and i was like trying to understand him not why he speaks the

00:30:31.660 way he speaks yeah it's not about the sentences that he's saying it's about the mentality right

00:30:36.940 and the placement he's in so i'll give you a very good walk through of nature nurture and andrew

00:30:41.340 tate okay so andrew tate was born in 1986 okay he was born to uh biracial so he's a biracial

00:30:48.860 right his dad is african-american and his mother is british okay now he the father was a chess

00:30:55.740 player but he was in the air force okay the mother worked at a diner and did catering and stuff like

00:31:02.620 that but she came from like a if you're looking at the 80s chances are came from the war to 1.00

00:31:09.180 america for a better life level okay andrew tate's maternal no paternal granddad actually fought in

00:31:18.620 world war ii okay so now it's the pure african-american descent so now you have to understand

00:31:24.220 african-american history coming through to understand his father and how he saw the world

00:31:29.340 because he lived in a white American world, because even though they had civil rights

00:31:36.020 and they had the Emancipation Proclamation done in 1866, they didn't get civil rights for another

00:31:44.580 hundred years. Yeah. Yeah. It took a long time. So imagine how many generations have grown up

00:31:48.600 with that subservient. So obviously they're going to have a very kind of thing, but they work in

00:31:53.660 fields and stuff, right? Now, he is two years old. They moved to Chicago. He is six years old. They

00:32:01.300 moved to Indiana. Now, these are rural towns in the late 80s. He's a biracial kid. Society and

00:32:08.400 environments aren't very nurturing to him to begin with. Yeah, he probably had a weird growing up.

00:32:12.200 Then when he turned 11, the parents divorced. Mom moved to England. They lived in government

00:32:20.380 housing on government assistance. Him and his brother. Him and his brother. They also have a

00:32:24.780 sister. Janine. Really? Yeah. I've never even heard about the sister before. It's not like I know this

00:32:30.600 guy's life, but realistically, I've never heard that there was even a sister or a mother. I thought

00:32:35.660 it was just the boys and the dad. Right. And that's what I'm trying to say, right? So when you're

00:32:40.440 looking at it from his lens and you start adding all these layers, and then when he was 19, he got

00:32:47.240 into kickboxing now when you look at it through a nature lens and you look at through human biology

00:32:54.380 lens right and you look at childhood you look at adolescence and then you look at young adult so

00:32:59.940 childhood goes up till about 11 okay i'm approximating here yeah and then adolescence

00:33:06.420 is about 11 12 and it goes to about 20 okay it's plus minus right and then unless you're me and it

00:33:12.940 goes to 30 or his maintenance continues. Yeah. Uh, I haven't passed childhood yet.

00:33:19.600 Imagine that. Um, the point I'm trying to make is when you look at him now,

00:33:26.260 you see how those absences, he, he lost, he didn't, he was a growing up with a single mother

00:33:34.280 at 11. I think I'm starting to understand how not only not, if the mother had not left the U S he

00:33:40.020 would still have a sense of security and safety. They moved to the England and

00:33:43.260 they moved to Luton. And if you want to have an understanding of where Luton,

00:33:49.020 Luton, Luton England. Okay. We'll use Luton just because it sounds fun. Yeah.

00:33:53.940 Okay. Yeah. So Luton or Luton is about where Ajax is from us. Oh, okay. So it's

00:34:01.920 not, we're in the vicinity, but it's still, go back to before the 401 was built.

00:34:08.300 oh that's a whole day away exactly yeah or the connectivity is not as continuous

00:34:15.980 and living in government housing in a foreign country as a biracial kid and american

00:34:23.180 and you're getting into your teen years so by the time he hits kickboxing

00:34:27.340 it's exact pure aggression release that's why his approach his best defense is a good offense

00:34:35.420 because he'd rather get you on your heels and on your back.

00:34:39.620 And you look at any of his podcasts, and I've watched it, his MOA.

00:34:44.220 I'm sorry to hear that.

00:34:45.400 I'm going to go with the first hit, and I'm going to keep giving you hits.

00:34:49.280 That's why he bounces.

00:34:51.200 Anytime you corner him, you'll notice he'll pivot.

00:34:53.160 He'll say something even more egregious.

00:34:54.620 No, he goes off the deep end.

00:34:58.320 So to me, when you come out and talk about masculinity, right,

00:35:02.060 now we flip the coin and look at...

00:35:03.500 I was going to say, so Tom Brady, explain how Tom Brady becomes the way that he is from what you know.

00:35:09.300 He doesn't have that many disruptions.

00:35:12.860 It wouldn't seem like he would because he's kind of Silver Spoon.

00:35:16.900 It's disruptions.

00:35:18.100 You're looking at disruptions.

00:35:19.180 You're not looking at provisions, right?

00:35:20.940 Because the brain was going to register the disruption.

00:35:24.900 Like, you know, you gave a very good example about, you know, 12 with Gonger, right?

00:35:29.800 That's a disruption.

00:35:31.600 At 16, we were talking about with your dad.

00:35:34.340 That's a disruption, right?

00:35:37.060 Disruptions and provisions are two different things

00:35:39.280 because the brain registers them differently.

00:35:43.040 The brain will earmark a disruption.

00:35:46.560 Why?

00:35:47.440 Because it's jarring.

00:35:49.540 Remember when you were young and you'd stick your hand in the socket?

00:35:53.140 I kept doing it.

00:35:54.180 Right.

00:35:54.680 I even had a dark-winged duck action figure that had a plug on the top of his head,

00:35:58.080 And I would like constantly stick that thing in the outlet.

00:36:00.800 I was a nut bag.

00:36:01.760 But at some point, I just like the smell.

00:36:07.200 But at some point that disruption registered, right?

00:36:10.880 Falling off your bike, right?

00:36:14.400 When you were wrestling, right?

00:36:16.000 No, the wrestling was brutal, but you registered.

00:36:19.600 So we registered disruptions. Why?

00:36:22.320 Because they're discomforting.

00:36:23.600 So then we learn how to avoid it.

00:36:24.960 When we were learning how to ride a bike, right?

00:36:28.380 So if we go back to Andrew Tate, let's assume like when he was wanting to

00:36:32.340 learn to ride a bike, right?

00:36:34.200 Maybe his dad wasn't as present or his mom wasn't as present.

00:36:36.840 So he had to figure out how himself.

00:36:39.000 Another interesting fact, when you bring in nature, nature versus nature, nurture

00:36:44.220 versus nature, sorry.

00:36:45.580 It's when you look at birth order, he was the eldest.

00:36:49.340 So now he's been stepping into that role as the man being forced into that role

00:36:53.940 Because now they've moved to England.

00:36:56.880 So he's the man of the house.

00:36:57.980 But he doesn't have access to his dad the way he would have if he was living in

00:37:01.440 the U.S. So if, say, they had gotten divorced and dad was living on the other

00:37:06.100 side of town, well, dad was accessible.

00:37:08.600 This is late 90s across the pond.

00:37:13.500 Yeah, he's got no father figure.

00:37:14.700 And there's no direct flights from London.

00:37:15.540 You got to come to Heathrow or Gatwick.

00:37:17.580 And if you're on government housing and government subsidy assistance, you're

00:37:22.440 coming to go visit your dad so your entire teen years you don't have a role model as far as we

00:37:28.200 know when we're assuming that his mom didn't have a really responsible stepdad or a boyfriend but

00:37:33.080 yes i know you mean what i'm trying to say is this is that when there's no anchor this is where the

00:37:37.960 jordan peterson question comes in as well is that you have to also expand that's why it's insufficient

00:37:44.600 because they're giving you these templates that you're measuring because you're trying to find

00:37:48.440 relevance but they're not saying hey also account for these anomalies because if you started

00:37:56.600 accounting for the anomalies you'll start recognizing i'm like forrest gump genuinely

00:38:04.840 we are more forrest gump i was going to say more than you even know sam right we are more forrest

00:38:10.040 gumps than not didn't forrest gump wish that he would be with jenny when uh she was going off to

00:38:17.000 San Francisco and he had to go and fight the war for one.

00:38:20.020 It's a, it's a, it's a fictional character on a very overrated movie, but I understand

00:38:24.240 what you're saying.

00:38:25.240 You break my heart.

00:38:26.240 It's very overrated.

00:38:28.240 I don't hate it as much as some of the critics out there do, but it's a, it's a, I like

00:38:35.400 Lieutenant Dan.

00:38:36.400 Yeah.

00:38:37.400 I like, I think he makes the movie for me, but yeah, I know what you're saying.

00:38:40.140 We're all Forrest Gump.

00:38:41.140 We're all kind of just, we are all Forrest Gump and it's okay because that's a good starting

00:38:46.660 point and now you could kind of go okay how much of sternness do i need to bring how much of softness

00:38:55.700 do i need to bring and how do i match that because i didn't get it when i was young

00:39:01.860 right uh my dad's a very good example of that because my grandfather was a very strict stoic

00:39:07.140 like by the you know you had to fit in the squares but his grand his father was

00:39:13.060 like that. My dad tried to be like that. I try not to be that.

00:39:17.940 Why?

00:39:19.020 Because I didn't like how it felt. So I remember how it felt when I was that age, rather than

00:39:24.940 trying to be...

00:39:25.940 Your dad was trying to fit into his father's role and apply that...

00:39:28.940 Not his role. We only teach what we know. So if you learn more, you can teach more.

00:39:33.120 But why did it make you feel uncomfortable? Was it the same... like because...

00:39:36.920 It's a feeling, right? Everybody likes... it doesn't matter what your age is. It doesn't

00:39:43.020 There is no societal rule that when you're 13,

00:39:46.460 you can't go and cuddle with your parents.

00:39:49.500 There is no hard and fast rule.

00:39:51.060 I think that creates a whole borderline group of problems.

00:39:53.980 No, I'm not talking about like cuddling

00:39:55.900 as we did as children.

00:39:58.300 That's not what I'm saying,

00:40:00.140 but comfortable enough that you can give them a hug.

00:40:03.740 Yeah, okay, that's different.

00:40:05.340 I've seen some touchy family families though, right?

00:40:08.140 And that's always made me uncomfortable.

00:40:09.500 Is that part of my masculinity?

00:40:11.500 that's the issue because now what are you doing you're auto you're automatically trying to reference

00:40:15.100 yourself and that's what i'm trying to get at is that we constantly are referencing

00:40:20.700 referencing okay comparing is something's wrong with me referencing is okay that positions their

00:40:27.420 dispositions here what's the distance it's a reframe of the mind so if you're saying i am

00:40:34.620 I'm comparing myself to others.

00:40:37.500 Right. Same thing.

00:40:39.140 I'm referencing myself to what they have, and this is how it makes me feel.

00:40:44.580 You're doing the exact same thing, but you're processing it in a different way.

00:40:49.340 Now you're processing it without something

00:40:51.220 that's missing in you, even though there is something missing.

00:40:54.780 We did it as kids, too.

00:40:58.100 What I'm trying to get at here is that that is a normal thing to do and we continue to do it.

00:41:03.940 We don't need to then start jumping 2,000 years back and saying that is true masculinity because there is no true masculinity because it's all imagery.

00:41:16.860 So if I could take something from my past, right?

00:41:18.680 And I've mentioned it a few times now.

00:41:20.520 I was a child actor.

00:41:21.380 I'd go to auditions, but I'd always have my mom with me in my early years, right?

00:41:25.840 She was my manager slash the person to keep an eye on me.

00:41:28.000 So my mom and I would go to these auditions, and you'd be in the waiting room some days for an hour or two.

00:41:33.000 and you see lots of different kids and their their moms come in and out right in the same 1.00

00:41:36.720 relationship that i had but i remember even as a young man and my mom who's a very emotional

00:41:42.300 nurturing lady still is to this day thought it was weird too that we would see some kids 0.94

00:41:48.000 being overly affectionate with their mothers and it just felt weird right so right but i felt like

00:41:54.960 that was like i looked at them at that age and i still to this day 30 something years later as

00:42:01.280 Those boys were a little light in their loafers.

00:42:03.660 Like there's something, you know, nobody, I love my mom and she was my best friend at that age.

00:42:07.960 But the last thing you'd see me do in front of a group of people with 13-year-old boys or 12-year-old boys in the room is laying in my mom's bosom.

00:42:14.740 Waiting to go into an audition.

00:42:16.540 Right.

00:42:16.820 So that is a different conversation.

00:42:18.920 That is how do you process emotions?

00:42:21.100 How do you create boundaries?

00:42:22.560 I think this comes into the same thing though.

00:42:24.560 Because that's where my man up thing is if I felt, right?

00:42:28.200 Right.

00:42:28.540 No, no, no.

00:42:28.880 What I'm trying to get at is that it deserves a separate conversation because now we are passing in a we're passing an observation without facts on understanding how emotions get expressed.

00:42:42.680 Right.

00:42:43.280 Okay.

00:42:43.480 To the the necessities of boundaries, the necessities of separation and independence.

00:42:49.680 That's got nothing to do with manning up.

00:42:51.380 That's just got to do with parenting.

00:42:53.180 That's got to do with, you know, eventually the child has to learn to become independent.

00:42:57.380 It's got nothing to do with the child's gender.

00:42:59.880 It's got to do with the way as human beings on a biological lens.

00:43:06.580 If you go back 3000 years, it was, you know, we fed you.

00:43:10.580 We nurtured you.

00:43:11.580 You started walking.

00:43:12.580 We made sure you didn't hit things, right?

00:43:14.580 Once you got to a certain age, because remember, life expectancy was like 2530.

00:43:18.580 So if you exhibited strength, you went into the ones that went out and hunted.

00:43:24.380 If you exhibited something else, you were the one that went and did the farming.

00:43:29.520 You see what I'm saying?

00:43:30.680 So by 10, 11, the elders kind of knew which direction your body was going to go into.

00:43:35.040 Yeah, yeah, they kind of went in that direction too.

00:43:36.820 And then you started weaning them out.

00:43:37.800 So the one that had to go out into the forest for days,

00:43:40.640 where he had to be weaned off being in connection with the community

00:43:44.640 a lot sooner than the one that went to farm.

00:43:48.200 That's what I'm saying.

00:43:49.220 It's a different conversation because that's separations of energy.

00:43:53.660 So when you as an observer, look at that because of your nurture nature environment and which is

00:44:00.620 norm, the questions that you raise have validity. Because what you're saying is that's abnormal.

00:44:08.540 It just seemed weird. It is. It didn't seem manly. It seemed odd. And still to this day,

00:44:14.940 later on, I still look back at that and I'm like, that was kind of weird. And I can only imagine

00:44:20.380 what those young gentlemen and moms are up to nowadays i just can't see a result that ends very

00:44:27.100 positive if you're that attached so that that you genuinely see issues with that is a dysfunction

00:44:35.100 that's not a passment of judgment that's that i'm not trying to judge anybody no no no i'm talking

00:44:39.580 from my my clinical lens right that's a genuine concern that deserves a conversation and addressing

00:44:47.100 that's what I think those things lead to masculinity not necessarily losing masculinity 0.88

00:44:52.540 it loses emotional regulation because now that individual right has an inability to regulate

00:45:00.700 emotions independently yeah because at the end of the day whether you're male or female you have to

00:45:09.500 process emotions independently that's what that interferes with and I agree with that independent

00:45:15.580 emotion and it been working on yourself this is where i said i'm constantly telling myself to

00:45:19.900 either not and for a lack of better words not be a right man up and i don't mean 0.99

00:45:24.140 as in a woman's vagina i mean like don't be a little kitty cat scaredy cat right right and 1.00

00:45:29.420 that's where that term came from scaredy cat right do not be you know a wimp right sometimes there's 0.99

00:45:37.180 there's uncomfortable situations that i'm going to have to take on head on in life

00:45:40.780 and maybe for a lack of better term i call that manning up right but what i'm women are in that 1.00

00:45:46.220 situation too man up and i understand that i'm trying to play a bit of a i'm trying to put myself

00:45:52.300 in a bit of a category so that we can get this conversation because if we both realize that we

00:45:56.140 agree on the same thing right from the very beginning this isn't going to be a very long

00:45:58.940 conversation right what i'm trying to tell you is this is that i agree with you so to kind of

00:46:06.140 shape that a little bit i'm going to have more smelling salts because i feel like my estrogen

00:46:09.500 levels are right and we have the hole yeah yeah so let's look at it from a

00:46:21.860 manosphere of hierarchy okay I'm ready I'm in the manosphere right now so you

00:46:26.120 have alpha you have Omega mm-hmm you have the betas and you have signals

00:46:30.920 right so alphas are like your trade Andrew Tate's and your Tom Brady's okay

00:46:37.700 Your omegas are kind of like, for a good reference, would be like any of the linebackers, right?

00:46:47.980 Like anybody that's a supporting cast that sits there.

00:46:51.280 They tend to agree with the alphas.

00:46:53.980 They stay close to the pack, and they do kind of like follow the leader kind of thing.

00:46:58.540 Yeah.

00:46:59.860 Your omegas, they tend to be like the outsiders, the outliers.

00:47:03.660 They struggle to belong.

00:47:05.360 They're the ones that are picked on, like the nerds in school, right? 1.00

00:47:07.700 They're the dorks. 0.99

00:47:09.740 Right. 0.99

00:47:10.540 And then you have the Sigma's that don't care. 0.60

00:47:12.740 They have their own path.

00:47:13.660 They do their own thing.

00:47:16.460 So if you look at that and you look at it through like a pop culture lens, right?

00:47:22.620 A classic Omega, I mean, a classic alpha that is revered by all is James Bond.

00:47:29.300 He is the ultimate like if a guy could be the ultimate man, man, man,

00:47:35.340 he'd want to be James Bond.

00:47:36.860 all the fictional characters out there. Or John Rambo. I like John Rambo.

00:47:41.420 Right. Because John Rambo was in touch with his emotions at the end of the...

00:47:45.980 Not the Rambo one or three, but just First Blood. We're using First Blood character. 0.78

00:47:49.260 Right.

00:47:49.660 Rambo was a manly man. He's a nutbag. 0.99

00:47:53.020 Right. 0.97

00:47:53.260 But he was a manly man.

00:47:54.540 But I'd live to die another day.

00:47:58.220 Well, you beat me there.

00:48:00.300 Yeah.

00:48:00.620 A lot better of a title than First Blood part two.

00:48:03.180 Exactly.

00:48:05.740 Exactly.

00:48:06.860 And then, so then you get into, um, um, Brian O'Connor from Fast and Furious.

00:48:12.860 That's a classic Omega, right?

00:48:15.720 Because you had your alpha, right?

00:48:19.760 Uh, then you look at your beta, right?

00:48:24.240 And, um, the best beta that I can think of is Jim from American pie.

00:48:32.220 Okay.

00:48:33.020 Do you see what I mean?

00:48:33.740 Yeah.

00:48:34.040 awkward door, you know, wants to ask the girl out. And that's a lot of us. That's a lot of us,

00:48:40.040 you know, uh, whether it's a 12, whether it's a 25, whether it's a 42, whether it's a 47 being a Tom

00:48:46.520 Brady, right. He's trying to get back in the dating scene. Which is absurd to me because if I even had

00:48:51.480 half of his looks, I'd be married tomorrow. She's already happily married with the Jiu Jitsu 0.99

00:48:58.040 instructor, and he's can't even keep Kim Kardashian. Like, like, seriously? Right? And

00:49:04.920 it's not a judgment thing. Right? And then you look at your Sigma, John Wick. Right? So now,

00:49:11.880 as an individual, I have to figure out where I belong, or who I'm more aligned with. Because

00:49:18.920 those are what we learn from. Those are what we emulate, like you and I were doing He-Man,

00:49:24.600 or whether we were doing Luke Skywalker, right? We were always picking the hero.

00:49:30.760 Yeah. As a kid, as an adult, I started picking people like Norm Macdonald

00:49:35.080 and things like that, who seemed to be more, you know, the guy who plays the dumb guy in the room,

00:49:39.720 but yet is the smartest and keeps the most information, but is very in tune with his.

00:49:44.120 Right. So you're taking an Omega kind of role.

00:49:46.440 Yeah. So you see how you're finding yourself in the hierarchy.

00:49:48.920 Mm hmm. The best way to not overwhelm your mind is to understand that you are all four, depending on the situation.

00:49:56.920 And as long as you can understand how to be fluid, because there are situations when you are an alpha.

00:50:01.920 There are situations where you're an omega. There's situations when you're a beta. There's situations when you're a sigma.

00:50:06.920 And I'll give you a very good example of how you can be all four simultaneously. OK.

00:50:12.880 Say you're going on a date and you want to be chivalrous and you're taking action.

00:50:17.200 That's alpha, right? You're doing things, you're buying flour, you're planning that.

00:50:21.440 That's alpha. Yeah. Okay. And Omega would be co-parenting, making sure that, you know,

00:50:27.600 things are getting done. The house is run, right? You're collaborating. That's being an Omega,

00:50:31.520 right? Because you're, you're now equal, right? Certain areas like females are nurturers. 1.00

00:50:38.640 what role did you take she became an omega right she's not competing because she's the alpha in that 0.98

00:50:44.800 arena you're like okay let me go what can else i can do right yeah right a beta is your 95

00:50:51.840 okay you're not anybody that works whether you're an entrepreneur or you're an employee

00:51:00.920 you're a beta. Why? Because somebody else is dictating what you and can, cannot do.

00:51:09.360 You may present yourself in any way you want. You're a genuine beta.

00:51:13.100 So this is why I was an entrepreneur, not by choice. Most of my life,

00:51:16.580 not realizing it because I was living in an alpha state.

00:51:18.680 You were living in a Sigma state. 0.54

00:51:20.540 Wouldn't that be considered alpha from what you had just laid out?

00:51:24.380 no alpha is more like um taking charge right alphas tend to be the ones that lead that that

00:51:32.540 make the decisions yeah right omegas are the ones that kind of like follow what's there they kind of

00:51:38.700 like stay within right and then your betas are like the outliers and then sigmas are like completely

00:51:44.700 right that's why i kind of like gave the change i guess it was kind of a hybrid i think of the

00:51:47.740 alpha sigma thing right that's what i'm saying you're all four yeah right you may have different

00:51:51.740 Oh, I'm starting to understand with this conversation about the four categories of man, but we're all...

00:51:58.740 We are all four. And as long as you can understand that you are a square, you may have certain affinities to certain parts.

00:52:06.740 So you may have certain percentages that are higher, but you're not going to be greater than 100.

00:52:11.740 And you're never going to be equal 25s.

00:52:14.740 Sim, how are you not so busy that you couldn't even take this meeting today?

00:52:19.780 Because you're a brilliant human being.

00:52:21.960 I have learned so much just about, not from the very beginning. 0.97

00:52:27.140 I started, I was learning every time you talk, I learn, but holy crap.

00:52:30.960 I think I just had an epiphany while you were saying this and hopefully anybody else watching

00:52:35.100 had that same epiphany.

00:52:38.920 We're all, a man needs to be in tune with every portion of what a man is.

00:52:43.860 And in those four categories, you have laid out what four different types of men are, but have made a very good case of saying how we're all this.

00:52:54.100 This is us.

00:52:55.580 Figure out what makes sense for you and your life and the scenarios you've been through, through those four categories, and apply what works and what doesn't.

00:53:03.460 We have a natural instinct to know what works for us.

00:53:06.060 Some people love to go against the grain and their own worst enemy.

00:53:08.960 right but if we can come in tune with those four things as a man and try and figure out what works

00:53:14.780 what doesn't cut out some of that stuff yeah focus on some of the things that seem to apply to our

00:53:20.460 lives the best yeah i think you just because like i've always been in the impression of just like

00:53:26.320 manna no and that's why it creates this tension so you know when because i i deal i work with a lot

00:53:34.480 of men, right? And a lot of times we're working with like self-identity. So, you know, it's a

00:53:39.320 non-scientific rubric that I created. And basically we do that, right? We go, okay, this is the four,

00:53:45.460 right? And then the categories within it that I use is identity, action, regulation, awareness,

00:53:54.180 connection, drive, and independence. Okay. So each one, they're self-explanatory, right? So like say

00:54:01.400 for regulation, right? Because that is the soft spot. Because we've been kind of like talking

00:54:07.600 about, you know, manning up or sucking it, suck it up, buttercup, or, you know, boys don't cry, 0.99

00:54:12.160 whatever you want to go under. Yeah. Regulation is the hardest. Where? Because internally, 1.00

00:54:17.460 we feel what we need to feel, and we're not any different. You could be an alpha, you could be a

00:54:22.180 sigma, you could be an omega, you could be a beta, you could be any gender, right? You're still 0.61

00:54:26.560 gonna feel. It's how we can express comfortably. That's where regulation comes. Regulation doesn't

00:54:35.440 come internally. Regulation comes externally. So once you realize, I can, so say one is I cannot

00:54:42.780 express myself. Okay. And ten is I can comfortably express myself. Okay. And now you put Andrew Tate.

00:54:51.280 Guess where Andrew Tate's gonna be? He's gonna be in the one-two area. Genuinely is gonna be in the

00:54:56.240 one-two area. Why? Because he has to have that strong sense of being. Why? Because now we go

00:55:01.960 back and you look at it and you look at his teen years where he grew up in a social housing on

00:55:07.940 government assistance as a biracial kid in England in the late 90s. And then he took kickbox. That's

00:55:17.340 a direct reference on why he has difficulty regulating emotions and he's going to sit on

00:55:22.780 spectrum so i as a therapist through this rubric have a better understanding of where the individual

00:55:29.180 is so it's no longer about masculinity it's no longer about being a caveman it's no longer about

00:55:33.900 being function it's about okay where do you sit in this where you sit in that square and how do you

00:55:41.020 then find your own meaning and then pull from influences that help you and away from influences

00:55:50.220 that interfere and you're okay then because we're all forest gums and we're all wanting our own

00:55:56.460 jennies sim i love not only working for this company because i get to have conversations like

00:56:02.460 this but i love the fact that we get to film it and put it out there absolutely and i appreciate

00:56:07.340 being called like being part of this like it's just phenomenal because i love these conversations

00:56:12.140 well let's let's put up let's put a bullet point there we'll continue this conversation in a part

00:56:16.060 Two we've gotten the red light about five minutes ago ten minutes ago now. They've been screaming at us to get out of here

00:56:21.240 I think we're we're making too much sense, right? That must be what it is

00:56:24.300 Yeah, but ladies and gentlemen that has been the conversation with my buddy sim about

00:56:29.820 Being a man look at I learned something and I hope you did too. Please visit tplmedia.ca for more

00:56:37.340 Information and more shows like this and yeah download the app true patriot love on the app store for Android and the app store for

00:56:45.180 for Apple. That's it. I'm Brady Wedham. Stay safe.

True Patriot Love - March 12, 2026

“Man Up” Isn’t Toxic — You’re Using It Wrong ｜ with Sim Chhabra

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